10 Ways to Become More Charismatic
Content
10 Ways to Become More Charismatic
by John Leonard In the foreword to his book Top Performance, Zig Ziglar cites research done by the Stanford Research Institute, Harvard University, and the Carnegie oundation which finds that !" #ercent of the reason you get a $ob, kee# that $ob, and %ove ahead in that $ob has to do with #eo#le skills and #eo#le knowledge, not technical skills and technical knowledge& 'n a less scholarly level, Lou Holt(, head football coach at the University of )otre *a%e, has said that when so%eone %eets you, that #erson wants to know three things+ Can I trust you, -re you co%%itted to e.cellence, and *o you care about %e as a #erson, So%e believe that only after that third /uestion is answered, do the first two take on any significance& It is an intangible quality that makes people admire you, follow you, and ust want to be around you! 0hat is it that causes #eo#le to res#ond war%ly to so%e, while recoiling fro% others, 0hat is it that enables #eo#le to get others to do things, even things they didn1t believe they would do, So%e call it #ower2 others, #ersuasion2 and still others, influencing without authority& It is an intangible /uality that %akes #eo#le ad%ire you, follow you, and $ust want to be around you& 3any ter% this /uality charis%a& Regardless of what it is called, or how it is defined, it is absolutely essential& 0hen #eo#le think of charis%a, they think of John & 4ennedy& 5ou could say that he was charis%atic because he was handso%e, char%ing, and #owerful& 6ut what about Lou Holt(, who is not #articularly attractive, and s#eaks with a slight lis#, He was a guest on Johnny Carson1s 7onight show after his )otre *a%e tea% had $ust lost a heartbreaker to the University of Colorado in the 'range 6owl& He followed to# screen star 4evin Costner, who was flushed with the success of Dances With Wolves, and he had endured a slight ri#oste during the introductions by Johnny about his 8se. a##eal&8 )onetheless, Holt( was funny, char%ing, self9effacing, but never self9critical, and boyishly gracious in the face of a sincere co%#li%ent& 0hen the ca%era #anned away for a final co%%ercial break after his brief stint, there was Holt( #atting the knee of 8one of his boys899Costner& 0ho was in charge, Clearly it was Coach Holt(& 7his obviously had to do with %ore than looks& -re there so%e things you can learn to do to #ro$ect charis%a, I think the answer is
8yes&8 irst, you %ust feel good about yourself and e.hibit self9confidence2 second, you %ust %ake other #eo#le feel good about you& "on#t interrupt! "on#t mentally cut off the other person! "on#t reload while he or she is speaking! 7he following are ten how9to1s+ :& 6uild u# your self9estee% and self9confidence& 7ake an inventory& 0hat do you want to i%#rove or change about the way you interact with others, 7ry to %ake only one change at a ti%e& ;& Set goals for yourself before every interaction& 4now what you want& 7hink about how the #eo#le you will be %eeting can hel# you reach those goals& 7hen decide how to a##roach each #erson accordingly& <& 6e #roactive& 7ake the initiative& 6e decisive& Let the other #erson know e.actly how he or she can hel# you& =& 7reat each #erson you %eet as if he or she is truly i%#ortant& 5ou1ll be a%a(ed how this works& "& >ive a fir% handshake2 look the other #erson straight in the eye& ?ractice both of these& 7rain yourself to notice so%ething you like or find attractive in the #erson& @& ListenA ListenA ListenA 7each yourself to develo# good listening skills& Learn a way to re%e%ber the other #erson1s na%e& B& Cisibly res#ond to the other #erson& S%ile, nod agree%ent, and address hi% or her by na%e& !& ?ay %ore attention to the other #erson than to yourself& -re you res#onding to what %ay be going on in his or her life, *on1t filter out bad news& ?ut yourself in the other #erson1s shoes& 6e caring& D& Use sincere flattery& ?eo#le do res#ond to flattery& 6ut if you don1t feel it, don1t say it& :E& Su% u# or restate often to %ake sure you understand what has $ust been said& 7his allows the other #erson to correct wrong assu%#tions right away, and lets hi% or her know that you are #rocessing new infor%ation and are on to# of the situation& Charisma is a combination of how you feel about yourself and the impression people ha$e of you! *on1t go overboard& 6e sure that your self9confidence does not co%e off as arrogance, and that your a##roaching others for their e.#ertise does not co%e off as obse/uiousness&
Charis%a is a co%bination of how you feel about yourself and the i%#ression #eo#le have of you& Fven if you aren1t born acting like a John 4ennedy99or 3artin Luther 4ing, Jr&, a He#burn G-udrey or 4atharineH, Robert Redford, Fleanor Roosevelt, or '#rah 0infrey99there is ho#e& - large #art of charis%a involves good co%%unication skills, which can be learned by anybody99including you& %ohn &eonard is a career counselor with 7he ive '1Clock Club& "Until you know that life is interesting --and find it so-you haven't found your soul." >eoffrey isher, -rchbisho# of Canterbury
by John Leonard In the foreword to his book Top Performance, Zig Ziglar cites research done by the Stanford Research Institute, Harvard University, and the Carnegie oundation which finds that !" #ercent of the reason you get a $ob, kee# that $ob, and %ove ahead in that $ob has to do with #eo#le skills and #eo#le knowledge, not technical skills and technical knowledge& 'n a less scholarly level, Lou Holt(, head football coach at the University of )otre *a%e, has said that when so%eone %eets you, that #erson wants to know three things+ Can I trust you, -re you co%%itted to e.cellence, and *o you care about %e as a #erson, So%e believe that only after that third /uestion is answered, do the first two take on any significance& It is an intangible quality that makes people admire you, follow you, and ust want to be around you! 0hat is it that causes #eo#le to res#ond war%ly to so%e, while recoiling fro% others, 0hat is it that enables #eo#le to get others to do things, even things they didn1t believe they would do, So%e call it #ower2 others, #ersuasion2 and still others, influencing without authority& It is an intangible /uality that %akes #eo#le ad%ire you, follow you, and $ust want to be around you& 3any ter% this /uality charis%a& Regardless of what it is called, or how it is defined, it is absolutely essential& 0hen #eo#le think of charis%a, they think of John & 4ennedy& 5ou could say that he was charis%atic because he was handso%e, char%ing, and #owerful& 6ut what about Lou Holt(, who is not #articularly attractive, and s#eaks with a slight lis#, He was a guest on Johnny Carson1s 7onight show after his )otre *a%e tea% had $ust lost a heartbreaker to the University of Colorado in the 'range 6owl& He followed to# screen star 4evin Costner, who was flushed with the success of Dances With Wolves, and he had endured a slight ri#oste during the introductions by Johnny about his 8se. a##eal&8 )onetheless, Holt( was funny, char%ing, self9effacing, but never self9critical, and boyishly gracious in the face of a sincere co%#li%ent& 0hen the ca%era #anned away for a final co%%ercial break after his brief stint, there was Holt( #atting the knee of 8one of his boys899Costner& 0ho was in charge, Clearly it was Coach Holt(& 7his obviously had to do with %ore than looks& -re there so%e things you can learn to do to #ro$ect charis%a, I think the answer is
8yes&8 irst, you %ust feel good about yourself and e.hibit self9confidence2 second, you %ust %ake other #eo#le feel good about you& "on#t interrupt! "on#t mentally cut off the other person! "on#t reload while he or she is speaking! 7he following are ten how9to1s+ :& 6uild u# your self9estee% and self9confidence& 7ake an inventory& 0hat do you want to i%#rove or change about the way you interact with others, 7ry to %ake only one change at a ti%e& ;& Set goals for yourself before every interaction& 4now what you want& 7hink about how the #eo#le you will be %eeting can hel# you reach those goals& 7hen decide how to a##roach each #erson accordingly& <& 6e #roactive& 7ake the initiative& 6e decisive& Let the other #erson know e.actly how he or she can hel# you& =& 7reat each #erson you %eet as if he or she is truly i%#ortant& 5ou1ll be a%a(ed how this works& "& >ive a fir% handshake2 look the other #erson straight in the eye& ?ractice both of these& 7rain yourself to notice so%ething you like or find attractive in the #erson& @& ListenA ListenA ListenA 7each yourself to develo# good listening skills& Learn a way to re%e%ber the other #erson1s na%e& B& Cisibly res#ond to the other #erson& S%ile, nod agree%ent, and address hi% or her by na%e& !& ?ay %ore attention to the other #erson than to yourself& -re you res#onding to what %ay be going on in his or her life, *on1t filter out bad news& ?ut yourself in the other #erson1s shoes& 6e caring& D& Use sincere flattery& ?eo#le do res#ond to flattery& 6ut if you don1t feel it, don1t say it& :E& Su% u# or restate often to %ake sure you understand what has $ust been said& 7his allows the other #erson to correct wrong assu%#tions right away, and lets hi% or her know that you are #rocessing new infor%ation and are on to# of the situation& Charisma is a combination of how you feel about yourself and the impression people ha$e of you! *on1t go overboard& 6e sure that your self9confidence does not co%e off as arrogance, and that your a##roaching others for their e.#ertise does not co%e off as obse/uiousness&
Charis%a is a co%bination of how you feel about yourself and the i%#ression #eo#le have of you& Fven if you aren1t born acting like a John 4ennedy99or 3artin Luther 4ing, Jr&, a He#burn G-udrey or 4atharineH, Robert Redford, Fleanor Roosevelt, or '#rah 0infrey99there is ho#e& - large #art of charis%a involves good co%%unication skills, which can be learned by anybody99including you& %ohn &eonard is a career counselor with 7he ive '1Clock Club& "Until you know that life is interesting --and find it so-you haven't found your soul." >eoffrey isher, -rchbisho# of Canterbury
