All It Takes is a Minute

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All It Takes Is A Minute
By
Anand Kumar Padmanaban

 

Copyright © 2013 by Anand Kumar
Padmanaban
 

All rights reserved. No part of this
publication may be reproduced,
distributed, or transmitted in any
form or by any means, including
photocopying, recording, or other
electronic or mechanical methods,
without the prior written permission
of the publisher, except in the case
of brief quotations embodied in
critical reviews and certain other
noncommercial uses permitted by
copyright law.
Ordering Information: Special
discounts are available on quantity
purchases. For details, contact the
author at the address below.
Anand Kumar Padmanaban
SQ2, Arjuna Marg, IISC Campus
Bangalore, Karnataka-560012, India
Email: [email protected]
Price: Rs.175/Printed in India

2


 
Dedications ............................ 5
 
Introduction ........................... 6
 
Review ................................ 12
 
Chapter 1 ............................. 14
 
Maturity
 –
 The
 Buddha
 In
 You
 ...................................................
 14
 
Chapter 2 ............................. 17
 
Successful
 People
 Motivate
 Self
 .................................................
 17
 
Chapter 3 ............................. 26
 
Taking
 Risk
 Is
 Not
 Risky
 ................................................................
 26
 
Chapter 4 ............................. 31
 
Time
 Works
 For
 Success
 ................................................................
 31
 
Chapter 5 ............................. 37
 
Success
 Always
 Loves
 Being
 In
 Action
 .....................................
 37
 
Chapter 6 ............................. 41
 
Urgent
 Vs.
 Critical
 ............................................................................
 41
 
Chapter 7 ............................. 46
 
Positive
 Thinking
 Is
 Good,
 Doing
 Is
 Better
 ............................
 46
 
Chapter 8 ............................. 53
 
Make
 Common
 Sense
 Common
 ...................................................
 53
 
Chapter 9 ............................. 57
 
Communicate,
 Bi-­‐Directionally
 ..................................................
 57
 
Chapter 10 ............................ 60
 
The
 2
 Ears,
 One
 Mouth
 Formula
 ................................................
 60
 
Chapter 11 ............................ 69
 

3

Change
 Is
 Positive
 Energy,
 Not
 Trauma
 .................................
 69
 
Chapter 12 ............................ 76
 
Emoting
 or
 Being
 Emotional?
 ....................................................
 76
 
Chapter 13 ............................ 78
 
The
 Spring
 Effect
 /
 Affect
 .............................................................
 78
 
Chapter 14 ............................ 81
 
Who
 Said
 Life
 Is
 Fair
 .......................................................................
 81
 
Chapter 15 ............................ 86
 
Take
 In
 A
 Big
 Dose
 Of
 Reality
 .....................................................
 86
 

4

DEDICATIONS
This book is dedicated to my parents
and to my family who have always
taught me to do what’s right even
though doing the right thing would not
lead to a personally favorable
solution.
I also wanted to thank my friends who
helped in review of the book.

- Anand Kumar Padmanaban

5

INTRODUCTION
Let a man learn thoroughly whatever he
may learn, and let his conduct be
worthy of his learning.
-Verse 391, Thirukkural
Let me start by clearing the air by
stating that I am no expert, nor a
wizened individual, I am somebody who
is very much like you. The only
probable difference is that over the
course of time I have worked with
incredible people all across the globe
who have shared their knowledge and
wisdom with me which I have penned
into this book.
Constant learning and success often go
hand in hand and reflecting on what
success means I am repeatedly reminded
that winning and being successful is
very subjective and it means different
things to different people.
For some, success conjures up the
image of having better living
standards than others and coming in
first place.
6

For others, it means obtaining
promotions or getting salary hikes at
a fast pace. For still others, success
may mean enjoying life in a grand
scale or perhaps for a few being able
to drop out and live a simple,
unencumbered life.
Putting myriad interpretations aside,
as we live our lives, we all want to
feel like a winner and to feel that we
are successful.
However, in this game called life, no
one can really be termed successful
and a winner; all we can do is play it
and play it well.
To me, winning is playing it right —
playing it in such a way that your
life is peaceful, comfortable, happy,
enjoyable, positive, rewarding, and
fun.
If those elements of life appeal to
you, this book should help you get
some needed perspective and if you’re
already in that state, this book
should help you stay there and deal
with what life throws at you with
little effort.
7

When playing the game of life to
compete and win and be successful, you
must first know the rules of the game.
After knowing those rules, the next
step in winning and being successful
and it involves developing the right
approach and way to move forward. That
means embracing the right mental
framework. It entails figuring out how
to use the rules to your advantage.
Following the rules does not involve
taking shortcuts or doing things which
may harm others. Instead, the winning
strategy involves positioning yourself
to win by focusing on self.
In fact, in my definition of winning,
adopting the strategy and mindset to
compete with you first and foremost is
an essential and critical step.
Wanting to be better, knowing you and
demonstrating self-control is the
first winning mindset
Of course, besides knowing the rules
and having a mindset to win, you still
have to get out there and execute and
many of us falter. From what I have
seen in terms of executing or
8

implementing, people typically fall
into three categories: (1) those who
cannot be moved irrespective of what
may come up, (2) those who can be
moved, and (3) those who do indeed
move and do things.
I sincerely hope this book will help
you make the right moves. Its
objective is to help you move in the
right direction by giving you simple
steps to take every day that will
place you in a successful position.
These steps will enable you to quickly
prepare yourself every day for moving
forward and will help you get others
to want to work harder for you as
well.
A fort holds itself and defies the
attacks of encircling foes.
-Verse 748, Thirukkural
Changing your life begins with
changing your mind set and all you
need is 1 minute a day to get Started
— just 1 minute a day—to read a page
and then follow through with the
suggestions given.
9

The rules, guidelines and action-plans
presented in this book, if adhered to,
are guaranteed to change your life and
make you a winner and help you be
successful.
I always have been fascinated with the
Thirukkural, a non-religious text in
Tamil written about 2000 years ago,
which delves into nearly every aspect
of ethics and moral philosophy. It
still is a great reservoir of everyday
living values and I decided to use
couplets from the Thirukkural in every
chapter to highlight the objective of
the chapter.
For ease of follow up, I have created
a one-minute pointer list at the end
of each chapter, which will help the
reader implement success principles.
The translations have been adapted
from the books “Thirukkural with
English couplets” translated by Yogi
Sudhananda Bharathi and “Thirukkural
English translation and commentary” by
Rev Dr.GU Pope, Rev WH Drew, Rev John
Lazarus and Mr. FW Ellis.
My philosophy in writing this book has
10

always been about being learned in the
true sense.
Most people think it’s hard to reach
the pinnacle of success or it is
written in their fate but that’s not
true. The one biggest secret is that
anybody can be successful if they are
diligent and focused.
-­‐

11

The Author

REVIEW
My Dear Kumar: I have gone through “
All It Takes Is A Minute” your first
book before going to print, concise
and practical suggestions, easy
approach with dedication, careful
analysis of the problems one faces;
confidence, self-esteem and hope for
success etc. – these are clearly and
competently analyzed and detailed in
this book.
Quotations from Thirukkural besides
other books, one minute pointers at
the end of the chapter on various
topics add richness and variety to the
book. A useful guide to students,
scholars, professionals and others for
use in daily life.
Despite heavy professional work you
have taken to writing, you have
brought out an eminently readable
book. I am happy to see that you have
followed my legacy of writing which as
a poet and author; I have been doing
for decades.

12

May you continue writing more books
drawing from your rich and variegated
experience.
Hearty congratulations and best
wishes.

Dr. A. Padmanaban I.A.S.(Rtd.)
Fmr. Governor, Mizoram State, Former
Member UPSC & Chief Secretary,
Government of Tamil Nadu

13

CHAPTER 1
Maturity – The Buddha In You
Ponder well its value, and secure the
friendship of men of virtue and of
mature knowledge.
-Verse 441, Thirukkural

Maturity means possessing the
ability to reason
Maturity – what a word! It immediately
brings up images of being staid,
boring and rigid, Yes? It is not true.
In the realm of the world of
successful people, maturity has
nothing to do with age, education, or
even experiences in life.
It is also a known fact that maturity
has nothing to do with being staid, or
plain. That’s because the elements of
maturity involve reason; and the
ability to reason takes time to
develop.
14

The happiest times in our lives are
times when we are thinking the most
motivating, intelligent, and
productive thoughts.
Therefore,
really get
understand
motivating
reason and

as we grow in years, we
happier, as long as we can
how to live a productive,
life with a degree of
intelligence behind it.

ONE MINUTE POINTERS ON INCULCATING
MATURITY
ü The ability to do a job without
supervision and without constantly
being reminded.
ü The ability to carry money in your
pocket without having to spend it
on something.
ü The ability to carry an injustice
without feeling the need for
revenge.
ü The ability to anticipate—to see
down the road. To see the forest
for the trees
ü The ability to be discreet, to be

15

tactful.
ü The ability to think about the
repercussions and consequences of
your actions or inactions.
ü The ability to take blame when
warranted.
ü The ability to learn from
experience.

16

CHAPTER 2
Successful People Motivate Self
Why do those who cannot live with
praise, grieve those who despise them,
instead of grieving themselves for
their own inability?.
-Verse 237, Thirukkural

High dose of motivation and spirit
is evident in successful people
Motivation is the psychological
feature that arouses an organism to
action toward a desired goal, that
which gives purpose and direction to
behavior when you want to be
successful and it has to be internal
motivation.
Even if it was possible to find
someone else who could be in charge of
your motivation, that would not be
very useful since you are dependent
externally for doing something.

17

It would only allow you to develop
into relinquishing control of
yourself; it would also not be good to
build inner confidence which is needed
to feel worthy.

Internal Motivation is a key trait
to be successful
Many of us wait for external support
or motivation but the best way is to
grab the bull by the horns, take
charge, and start rebuilding
ourselves, NOW...immediately.
Always realize that eventually
everything is up to you and the onus
rests squarely on you and nobody else
is responsible and accountable for
you, except you.
Successful people realize that
everyone gets worn down from time to
time and things are not fair sometimes
but that’s the way it works. Being
able to pull yourself back up, being
able to reboot yourself, being able to
energize yourself, helps you develop
an important trait that nobody can
help develop. It’s called your
18

motivational spirit.
ONE MINUTE POINTERS ON DEVELOPING
MOTIVATION
ü As soon as you wake up, spend half
an hour in quiet solitude without
thinking much, just listening to
the sound of silence
ü Listen to music as you’re getting
ready for work in the morning
ü Start collecting motivational
sayings or quotes that are
meaningful to you. Showcase them
around your home. I rely on the
serenity prayer to help me get
through the day, its perfect and
helps bring perspective clearly.
ü When you walk around, make a
conscious effort to be active and
move briskly with your head held
high and your shoulders pushed
back, remember to walk as if your
back is made of hard board and
cannot bend.

19

Smile a lot
ü Deliver a genuine compliment to
someone every day. The act of
complimenting has a reciprocal
benefit. It makes the complimentgetter as well as the complimentgiver feel good.
ü Successful people know that life is
a game of reflections, whereby
their beliefs and behaviors—their
thoughts and their actions—
eventually reflect back to them
with amazing impact. Therefore,
successful people know the
incredible significance of the
words they speak to themselves,
about themselves.

Do fun things to de-stress and keep
yourself positive
ü Action is what counts in life; it
all starts with your thoughts. So,
monitor those thoughts, as they
will dictate your actions. Then
20

watch your actions, because they
turn into your habits. Of course
you must examine your habits,
because they work together to
determine your character, and your
character—without question—
eventually determines your life
line and fate as they call it.
ü Always be in the process of
learning something new. It doesn’t
matter if it’s something
unimportant or something fanciful,
just make it a point to keep
learning and doing something new.

Do the tough things first
ü Smile as you wake up and start your
day. You really can make a choice
to be happy as you start the day.
Then, as you take your first look
into a mirror, smile again and
enjoy it.
ü Start getting into the habit of
dealing with the most stressful
things as early as possible each
day. In other words, get it over
21

with so you can feel a sense of
accomplishment and move on and get
to the easier things later so that
your mind is calm and clear before
you end the day.

Surround yourself with good
intentioned people
ü Work really hard at staying away
from negative conversations like
gossiping, bad-mouthing or
complaining. I do know it’s hard to
do and for some of us, it’s the way
we stay connected and become
popular but believe me when I say
this, by avoiding negativity ,
you will become much more focused
and chilled out.
ü Glisten with enthusiasm. Make sure
you show genuine interest in
anything that you do, look at it as
a learning opportunity.

22

Write down Your Goals and Plan
ways to reach your goals
ü Birds of same feather flock
together. Successful people always
connect with someone who is
supportive, positive, and
successful and typically stay away
from negative people.
ü Examine the negative forces in your
life and do everything in your
power to eliminate them. For
example, make a conscientious
effort to avoid dwelling on and
perpetuating bad news, hanging
around with chronically negative
people, associating with
consistently angry co-workers.

Avoid negativity
ü Change your “if” language to “when”
language. It’s not, if I get
through this, then my life will be
great. It’s when I get through
this, my life will be great.
23

ü Check your goals and understand
that if one goal area of your life
is lagging or faltering, you can
concentrate, for now, on getting
closer to achieving success in
another goal area. Remember if all
your about is your work, you can’t
be good at your work. So, recheck
your goals in becoming a holistic
person. Look at money,
spirituality, mental faculty
development, physical fitness,
social circle and having fun.
ü Cultivate a hobby or start reading
or writing or doing something which
will get you off the work aspect
which so dominates all our lives.
ü Successful people work on SMART
goals and objectives; they look for
simple, measurable, attainable,
relevant and timely goals and
objectives and work on them with
focus.

Simple, Measurable, Attainable,
Relevant and Timely Goals

24

ü It’s an extreme waste of time to
wait for your ship to come in if
you have neglected to send one out
to begin with. Sending out your
ship begins with setting those
personal and professional goals.

25

CHAPTER 3
Taking Risk Is Not Risky
No Fool Equals the fool who learns
knows, teaches but spurns selfcontrol.
-Verse 834, Thirukkural
Belief is a very powerful thing. Do
you realize that your beliefs activate
your responses? Your beliefs control
what you do.
Your beliefs determine how you act and
how you react. Your beliefs govern the
path you take, the choices you make,
and how you look at life. Your beliefs
control your destiny.

Beliefs define action and reaction
The really frightening thing about our
belief system is that, unfortunately,
they do not distinguish between fact
and fantasy, between truth and lies,
or between reality and imagination.

26

Your beliefs are critical. Your
beliefs are the key that unlocks the
winning or losing door, no matter what
challenges you face. Since your
beliefs rule your life, it is almost
horrifying to realize that so many
beliefs, particularly those about our
abilities, have been formulated by
others.

Challenge Assumptions, make your
rules and empower yourself
However, let us go back to those
untruths that are more personal in
nature—those untruths that can affect
you deeply for the rest of your life;
those untruths that can influence what
you think of yourself, your
aspirations, your plans, your
expectations, your hopes, and your
dreams.

Surround yourself with positivity
Successful people make certain that
what they have come to believe,
27

especially about themselves, is selfcreated, positive, encouraging, and
non-restrictive. Successful people
challenge assumptions and often make
up their own rules. Successful people
empower themselves.
To start getting rid of any faulty and
restrictive beliefs that might be
holding you back, do what successful
people do
ONE MINUTE POINTERS FOR POSITIVE SELF
BELIEF
ü First, recognize the fact that you
may have been made to believe
things about your own capabilities
that can be untrue. Understand that
those beliefs may be keeping you
from getting where you want to go.

Expect things to go well
ü Make a conscious effort to fight
any negative explanatory habits
that you may be harboring.
ü Successful people give themselves

28

credit for things that go well, and
in fact expect things to go well.
Successful people think that good
is the norm and bad is the
exception.
ü Negative people tend to think in
reverse. They think that if
something good happens to them, it
was a fluke. But if something bad
happens, it was inevitable—it was
the way things go, it is the story
of their life.
ü Fight the clichés and go for it.
Realize that many parents, wellmeaning relatives, and business
associates, perhaps to protect you
against life’s disappointments, may
have planted a seed in your mind
that made you think that you were
not bright enough, savvy enough or
astute enough to venture out.
ü Successful people go for it. They
take calculated risks.
ü Evaluate the people you spend time
with, because friends tend to share
the same beliefs.

29

ü Are your friend’s successful people
or negatively focused people?
ü Start a new trend: Believe in
yourself. Remember, belief turns
into behavior.

30

CHAPTER 4
Time Works For Success
As moves the world, so move the wise
in tune with changing times and ways.
-Verse 426, Thirukkural

Where there is an up, there is always a
down
Some say these are the good times;
some say these are the bad times. Some
say these are the right times; some
say these are the wrong times.
Successful people understand that good
times, bad times, right times, wrong
times are incorrect assumptions and
that this is the only time they get,
and they make the best use of current
time.
Successful people know that these are
the good old days; these are the days
of their lives.
It seems that technology has not
31

really given us more time; instead it
has just allowed us to do more each
day with our time.

Work smart
In fact, many people today are so
pressed for time that they are caught
up in a vortex. They spin from thing
to thing, staying in constant motion
and trying to do as much as possible
in a single day.
Actually, I have discovered that one
of the most significant distinctions
between successful people and losers
has little to do with the actual
amount of work they do, but with the
actual amount of smart work they
ONE-MINUTE POINTERS FOR TIME
MANAGEMENT
ü Successful people commit to making
time for what they want to do and
what they most enjoy doing.

32

Be productive in terms of time
spent
ü Successful people know that balance
gives you perspective and is
critical for long-lasting success.
They enjoy the moment of NOW and
live in the present moment.

Make time work for you
ü Successful people actually schedule
downtime to simply chill out —
alone. Setting some time aside
every day for you can prove to be a
powerful tonic in today’s frenzied
world.
ü They also believe in the phrase
“health is wealth” and make sure
that they are healthy first since
they believe a healthy body makes a
healthy mind.
ü Successful people tackle small
problems before they grow into
bigger ones and nip the problem in

33

the bud; they also know that the
longer a problem exists without
being addressed the more expensive
and time consuming it will be to
fix.
ü Successful people are aware that
considering problems (Positive) and
worrying (Negative) about them are
two different things and
procrastination is an absolutely
worthless thing to do.
ü Successful people try to live
better and better and try to find
satisfaction in their daily lives
rather than constantly waiting for
that something great to happen.

Plan well, act fast
ü Most successful people have a goal
to have as much pleasure every day
as possible.
ü Successful people know how to fight
procrastination. Do remember that
procrastination has many different
causes: monotony, fear,
34

perfectionism, boredom, unclear
goals, and so on.
ü Successful people are flexible
enough with their time so that they
can act quickly when a good idea
comes to mind.
ü Successful people know that they
should make hay when the sun
shines. To make sure the idea gets
realized; they discuss it with
someone or make notes.
ü Successful people do not get bogged
down and organize well.

Focus and Prioritize on every
aspect of what you do
ü Successful people know the
specifics of their job and don’t
waste precious time duplicating
other people’s work.
ü Successful people give themselves
thinking time that’s separate from
their working time.
ü Successful people stay focused.
35

Though successful people know how
to be flexible, they also
understand the importance of focus.
That delicate balance needs
practice and must be developed.
ü Successful people try to act on
every item the first time they see
it, hear it, or read it.

Be morally correct
ü Successful people do not create
busy work to avoid doing what needs
to be done.
ü Successful people help others
prioritize so they can work better
themselves
ü Successful people are not stingy
with their time when it counts— and
it counts in important
relationships.
ü Successful people ground themselves
with solid principles and have a
strong moral compass.

36

CHAPTER 5
Success Always Loves Being In Action
Friendship brings gain, but action
pure does every good thing we desire.
-Verse 651, Thirukkural

We need to tap into the strength of
people around us
Living in an interdependent world, we
always need others not just because
we’re social animals by nature, but
also because we rarely can do
everything that needs to be done
alone.
Yes, we need others to help us make
things happen, we need others to work
with us and for us.
We need others to help execute our
ideas, to encourage our projects, to
support our endeavors, and to do the
tasks we need them to do.
Therefore, in the work arena or on the
37

home front, knowing how to help move
others along, knowing how to fan that
motivational flame within others,
knowing how to get others to do as you
want them to do, is a vital part of
winning.
Fear as an inspirational tool is not
entirely worthless. In fact, it may
indeed work initially. However, it has
proven to work only for a short time.
Fear, used to incite better
performance, has four downfalls:

Fear is not inspiring
Firstly, Fear is external — it comes
from outside while true motivation, as
I noted earlier, must come from
within; Secondly, It is negative;
thirdly, those working under its
threat soon become numb to it,
rendering it ineffective; and Finally,
criticism and punishment may work to
eliminate specific unwanted behavior
but sometimes employees reactions to
it are erratic and unpredictable.

38

In other words, though fear may
prevent unacceptable behaviors in one
arena, it usually encourages and
justifies an equally unacceptable, or
even worse, behavior in another area.

Put High Value on ethics and integrity

Successful people don’t fool
themselves into thinking that such
rewards will ensure or inspire peak
performance.
Sure, those extras will most likely
enhance a company’s recruitment
efforts, and that benefit can’t be
dismissed. However, successful people
know that those prizes will not
guarantee employees who will work with
conscientiousness, self-discipline,
initiative, loyalty, dependability,
energy, and enthusiasm.

Praise Often and provide feedback

39

ONE-MINUTE POINTERS ON TEAMING FOR
SUCCESS
ü Successful people praise
frequently. Reprimands tend to be
specific and praise tends to be
general and in public.
ü Successful people make sure that
others are taken care of and
consider themselves successful when
others are too.
ü Successful people are direct when
communicating and treat all fairly.
ü Successful people provide all with
an opportunity for self
enhancement.
ü Successful people are high on
integrity and walk the talk all the
time and stay successful with the
help of others.

Be Fair and Honest

40

CHAPTER 6
Urgent Vs. Critical
Money and means, time, place and deed
decide these five and then proceed.
-Verse 675, Thirukkural
Did you know that there is a positive
correlation between people who quit
and poor starters?

Time management =
Priority +
Planning +
Avoiding procrastination
In other words, those who tend to
abandon a project or give up on it
easily usually were not those who were
anxious or eager to begin the job in
the first place.
If you also analyze people who are
poor starters you will see that they
represent the classic case of not
managing their time properly.
41

Develop a Sense of Urgency
There are the 3 P’s in time
management, first P – Priority, second
P – Planning and 3rd P –
Procrastination. You will find that
people who are quitters or poor
starters fail miserably when it comes
to planning, prioritizing and often
procrastinate a lot.
Currently, we live in a fast and
impatient world.
The future overlaps with
and the old cliché about
right place at the right
changed: today, you have
right place ahead of the

the present
being in the
time has been
to be in the
right time.

Having a sense of urgency helps you
use your time to the fullest extent,
and in an earlier chapter I discussed
how important that is. Yes, in life,
time is the one constraining factor.
Conversely, having a sense of urgency
can enable you to have a fuller,
richer life since you start valuing
42

time and make sure you spend the right
time doing the right things — quite
simply you will be able to accomplish
and experience more.
A sense of urgency also accelerates
one’s state of “readiness.”
ONE MINUTE POINTERS ON MANAGING TIME
ü Plan a start date and ensure you
start the work you want done by the
planned start date.
ü If there is a conflict in terms of
what needs to be done, prioritize
and see what objective is more
important to you.
ü Be prompt and do everything 100%.

If you have the time to work on
the task, do it NOW
ü Make sure that you plan for
obstacles along the way. Smart
people know that obstacles are part
of everything we do.
ü Understand that working on what has
43

to be done is not nearly as tiring
and exhausting as thinking about
what has to be done.
ü Don’t focus on all you have to do
to bring the project to completion,
or to reach your goal. Instead, get
into the habit of breaking that
first step down.
ü Remember you can’t “do” a goal; you
can only do the behaviors that will
lead to that goal. Ask yourself,
what is one behavior I can do now
that would get me closer to my
goal?
ü Not knowing where to start is a
main cause for procrastination.
ü Break the project or work down into
a list of baby steps that you can
approach one at a time. When you
get started on the job, begin by
doing something where the results
of your efforts can clearly and
easily be seen.
ü If the task is organizing your
email, first start by cleaning off
the spam and junk mail rather than
44

immersing yourself into all the
emails you received.
ü If it can be done in less than five
minutes, do it now. When postponed,
the little details of life bog us
down and overwhelm us.
ü When we put the little things off,
they seem to build in magnitude and
importance. Do not turn minor tasks
into major ones by avoiding them.
ü Use your energy according to your
personal productivity times during
the day.
ü Realize that your lack of urgency
can come from sheer laziness.
ü Understand that when we are trying
to avoid something we often welcome
and even seek out interruption. So,
if you’re trying to stir up some
urgency in your life, tell your
family, friends, and co-workers not
to interrupt you for a designated
period of time.
ü Every night make a to-do list for
the next day

45

CHAPTER 7
Positive Thinking Is Good, Doing Is Better
In doing work don't break and shirk,
The world will quit who quits his
work.
-Verse 612, Thirukkural
A positive mental attitude is
typically an important aspect of
successful people.

CAN is more important than
CAN’T
It is known that people who are more
affable, more constructive in
approach, more tuned towards looking
at positive signs, and more optimistic
are also more likely to be able to
grasp, to be offered, and to
capitalize on opportunities than
people who are negative, destructive
or condescending in nature.
We have all grown up either listening
46

to stories or have read ourselves
stories that demonstrate how important
a positive mental attitude and
aptitude is.
Tales from the Ramayana and
Mahabharata also abound with the same
themes as do stories from the
Panchatantra.

Have a balanced approach towards
success
Successful people know that a positive
mental attitude alone is not enough to
make any significant change in your
life.
Successful people know that having a
positive mental attitude is just the
beginning.
It alone will never turn your life
around, change your current situation,
or make your wishes come true.
You can live life with a better
outlook and successful people know
that a positive mental attitude needs

47

good implementation plans as well.

Live in Reality and always
have specific goals
Successful people do not set
themselves up to suffer from
unrealistic expectations.
They know that expectations can be
altered, helping them to find
fulfillment rather than frustration
and dejection in life.
They also have this wonderful ability
to be agile and to flow with the water
as well.
I have always wondered how so many
people who are top leaders and
managers in their profession are still
are not able to appropriately manage
their lives.
They have a positive mental attitude
about their potential advancement in
their company, but it is not at odds
with the reality at the workplace.
They have convinced themselves that
48

they are great at what they do.

Humility is essential for a
leader and a successful person
They often don’t look outside and see
reality. Hence, even successful people
need to accept the fact that instead
of trying to revive an old dream, they
should continue to invest their effort
into building a better, brighter, and
a newer dream.

Confidence, Motivation and Self
Worth are essential traits
Successful people understand that
confidence, motivation and self-worth,
are essential, but one must make
certain that it reflects reality.
They typically take advice of friends
and well-wishers who provide objective
feedback to them when things are on a
downslide as well.
Successful people also know that it is

49

critical to show respect for others
and treat others as human beings and
it is essential to be civilized.

Always Know The Difference
Between Arrogance and
Confidence
In the current situation around the
world, there is a huge
misrepresentation that being
successful means being arrogant or
brash or loud but that is really faraway from the truth.
Successful people are always in the
know that there is a fine line between
confidence and arrogance.
Often people with a positive attitude
take it one step too far and instead
of having that can-do mentality, they
develop a “can-do-anything-and devil
may care” mentality. So learn to
strike a balance between confidence
and arrogance.
They start letting their ego rule and
that is a sure sign of decay. They
50

also know that they need to keep
learning and improving since everybody
has to learn and improve as no one is
a master of everything.
Successful people understand that
humility is a critical trait to be
successful.
Loss of humility often leads to a loss
of understanding perspective and that
leads to losing your feet and
successful people know that.
It is absolutely essential to be
grounded all the time and to sustain
success in our life.
Remember that a positive mental
attitude is a great and necessary
foundation; however, it must be
accompanied by hard work, a sense of
perspective rooted in reality, high
levels of empathy to others and a
positive, motivated action to drive
and be successful.

51

ONE-MINUTE POINTERS ON POSITIVE
THINKING
ü Being confident, having self-worth
and being motivated is essential
ü Humility is a critical trait,
especially if you want to be a true
leader
ü Positive thinking is immensely
helpful to move forward and face
life’s challenges

Respect, Courtesy, Humility are
hallmarks of a successful person

52

CHAPTER 8
Make Common Sense Common
No merit can be held so high as
theirs, who sense and deny self.
-Verse 21, Thirukkural
Do you agree with the statement common
sense is usually not commonplace?

Make common sense common in your
life
Successful people realize the
importance of exercising common sense,
and work at making common sense common
practice.
Successful people understand how
performing the obvious, how engaging
in the elementary, and how paying
attention to the seemingly mundane can
give them an enormous edge in life
today.
Successful people stand out from
others by doing the ordinary in an
53

extraordinary way.
Both in the personal and professional
arena, the little common-sense things
have a big effect on our lives. Yes,
it is the obvious that’s so often
overlooked in favor of the more
complex and more pressing issues. But,
doing the little common-sense things
well can make the biggest attentiongetting difference.

Smile. It increases your face
value
Successful people know how often the
obvious is overlooked.
They know that the mark of an
exceptional person is the ability to
pay attention to both the big picture
as well as the details.
They also stand out from the crowd,
and in many cases actually disarm
others when they stand during
introductions as a sign of respect,
are courteous and say please, thank
you, and you are welcome.

54

Laugh and welcome Humor
They look at others in the eye when
they speak, look for ways to
demonstrate acts of basic kindness,
hold doors for others, display a
unique finesse and tact and
demonstrate a lot of empathy with
every person they meet.

Pay attention to the details
Most successful people have the
ability to approach strangers and make
them quick acquaintances even when the
situation may be somewhat awkward.
Successful people are prompt in
returning phone calls and
correspondence.
Successful people know that an easy
way to separate themselves from
others, to gain the attention of
employers and customers, is simply to
be prompt in this manner. Successful
people like humor. They like to laugh
55

and project a happy persona.
ONE MINUTE POINTERS FOR SUCCESS
ü Smart People feel more empowered
and act more invigorated.
ü Smart people experience and project
a greater sense of hope and pay
better attention to minute details.
ü Smart People consider themselves
more capable and put things in
better perspective.
ü Smart people work more like a team
and make everyone perform better.
ü Smart and successful people
observe, study, and copy other
successful people and their
approach to success.

Watch and Learn From Observing
Other Successful People

56

CHAPTER 9
Communicate, Bi-Directionally
Who know the art of speech shall suit,
Their chosen words to time in fact.
-Verse 712, Thirukkural

Communicate well – verbally
and non verbally
In an increasingly interdependent
world, successful people know the
important role that communication can
play in fostering, maintaining,
strengthening or destroying a
relationship.
The fact of the matter is, if you can
talk to one another easily, you most
likely have a good relationship with
that person, and if you can’t
communicate easily, you don’t. This is
just the way it is.

57

Understand other people’s
communication preferences
Successful people know that the
preferences people have in terms of
who they choose to deal with, who they
want to associate with, and who they
seem to gravitate toward, are heavily
influenced by the perceived similarity
or differences in the communication
style and process used by that other
person communicating with you.
Understanding communication styles is
critical for success nowadays.

Understand that others may
have a different point of view
Successful people understand how
important those concepts are and how
positive communication can powerfully
affect relationships.
ONE MINUTE POINTERS ON COMMUNICATION
ü One of the greatest obstacles in
communication is the illusion that

58

it transpired the way you intended
it.
ü You cannot over communicate.
ü Words have power, but other
elements of speech have power as
well, Tone, Pace, Pitch,
Projection, Pauses and Physical
posture w.r.t body language are
critical aspects of communication.
ü The greater the need to
communicate, the more challenging
it becomes, hence it is better to
talk in a simple manner and get to
the point.
ü Make sure that you are a positive
speaker and that you are not
inadvertently sending out negative
messages or vibrations

ü Change

your wording to be more
optimistic and positive.

59

CHAPTER 10
The 2 Ears, One Mouth Formula
Wealth of wealth’s is listening's
wealth,It is the best of wealth on
earth.
-Verse 411, Thirukkural

Listening is hard because we have
not been formally taught to listen
God has given two ears and one mouth,
probably because he wanted us to
listen more and speak less.

Put yourself in the other person’s
shoes all the time
Listening to another person is a sign
of respect and courtesy for a fellow
human being and that core idea needs
to be imprinted in your mind.

60

Listen with heart and soul
Listening is fundamentally different
from hearing and typically good
listeners are hard to find, and
demonstrating or developing that rare
listening ability can be a huge asset
in personal and career aspects.

Highly successful people are
almost always great listeners
Being a good listener can reap many
rewards, and successful people know
that once a relationship has been
formed, demonstrating those important
listening skills will not only keep it
going but also keep it strong and
solid.

Listen, it’s very different from
hearing
In fact, successful people know that
listening is the single most important

61

thing they can do in any relationship
they have.

Active listening is an important
habit to learn
Listeners are hard to find but most
people will agree that people who talk
other people’s ears off are everywhere
and in plentiful in the world today.
Perhaps, the complexity of living
makes it easier for people to develop
speaking skills than listening skills.
Conceivably it’s also because “if you
don’t ask, you don’t get.” philosophy
which has become prevalent today.
People today seem to have a lot to say
and they want to be heard.
Unfortunately, most don’t understand
that being heard does not necessarily
mean they are actually being listened
to.
Remember, we hear with our ears, but
we listen with our minds.
Real listening, listening with the

62

purpose of gaining insight and
understanding, listening with the
purpose of showing concern and
interest, is called active listening
as opposed to passive listening.
Passive listening, however, does occur
when perhaps we listen to background
music or a radio talk show more for
the company value rather than for the
message.

Have an open mind when listening
Typically we fail to listen because we
are already working up our responses
to what is being said.
These include aspects like – working
out a response even before the other
person has stopped talking, completing
the speaker’s sentence for them,
trying to hear with a filter on when
you are constantly reading for a
hidden message, it could also be a
case where you believe the person has
nothing important to say and you
ignore what is being said or it could
be about already concluding the
63

message of what the other person is
saying since it sounds so much like
what you have heard or experienced
before.
ONE MINUTE POINTERS ON IMPROVING
LISTENING SKILLS
ü Remember that listening really
means hearing others.
ü It does not count if, after the
first few sentences, you start
giving advice or adding your own
personal opinion or feedback.
ü Do not assume that when someone
wants you to listen, they also want
your solutions and feedback.
ü Often what people need when they
engage you in conversation is an
interested and concerned ear.
They’re not necessarily looking for
a problem solver.
ü Listening is actually a motivator.
When others realize that you are
truly attentive and interested in
what is on their mind, they often
feel compelled to follow through

64

with their verbalized intentions.
ü Listening is a time saver. Yes, if
you engage in active listening,
you’ll save a great deal of time.
Though repetition may in fact be
the mother of learning, getting
that message the first time it’s
sent out puts you ahead of the
game.
ü Though many people, especially
after years of schooling, have
become quite adept at faking the
listening process, most people
today can tell whether your
interest in listening to them is
genuine or not.
ü It’s been said that if you listen
more than you speak, you will
usually be perceived as more
intelligent than you really are.
ü Always let others finish their
sentences. Interrupters do more to
demonstrate their lack of patience
than their understanding and
interest.
ü Fight the urge to make assumptions.
65

You may miss a great deal of
important information by
prematurely jumping to conclusions.
ü From time to time, take notes as
others talk.
ü Pauses, as I mentioned earlier, can
be used for punctuation and drama.
There’s a space between stimulus
and response. Let it stay there. In
fact, often when listening to
others, you will note that a very
important point is made—either just
prior to or right after that pause
was taken.
ü Make eye contact. This isn’t as
easy as you think. On the other
hand, beware of course, of getting
into a staring mode. Glance at your
notes occasionally, and when
looking at the speaker, instead of
looking directly into both eyes,
look at one eye, then the other. It
keeps the effect of eye contact
going without the potential feeling
of intimidation, discomfort, or
threat.
ü Offer nonverbal encouragement
66

through an interested facial
expression and appropriate head
nodding.
ü Physically lean in toward the
speaker. Unfortunately, most people
tend to lean away or lean back when
another is speaking. The distance
you put between yourself and
another unconsciously says a lot
about your interest level.
ü Refrain from clicking your pen,
drumming with your fingers, or
fidgeting when others are speaking.
Not only do these acts show
impatience, but they also serve as
a distraction to the speaker as
well as to you, the listener.
ü When the time is right, always take
a moment to summarize what’s been
covered. This promotes clarity as
well as progress.
ü Listen for the emotion being
expressed while the words are being
said.
ü From time to time, without
interrupting, repeat something that
67

the speaker said. This is a quick
way to demonstrate your listening
ability and interest.
ü Don’t be afraid to ask clarifying
questions when appropriate.

68

CHAPTER 11
Change Is Positive Energy, Not Trauma
Who adapts not, outsteps measure and
brags himself-his fall is sure.
-Verse 474, Thirukkural

Understand and manage change
Successful people know that change is
going to happen with them or without
them. They know that change is here to
stay, that it’s the only constant
phenomenon in the universe.
Successful people know that change is
inevitable.
Successful people also know that if
you can’t get out of a changed
situation, you had would better plunge
into it remembering that change is one
of those things no one can escape
from.
Change is ubiquitous and ever Omni
present.
69

In any event, successful people know
that a company, an organization, an
industry, or an individual’s ability
to recognize change and then to react
quickly and appropriately to that
change is the key to staying on top.

Recognize the type of change and
manage it
They also know, however, that it’s
much, much easier to get on top than
it is to stay there.
Staying on top requires not only
seeing change and responding to
change; it involves embracing change,
keenly adopting change, and eagerly
assimilating it.
There are typically four basic types
of changes that we encounter in our
lives:
Firstly, Changes that we anticipate
and want to occur. Examples of this
are accepting a new job offer, making
a new friend, visiting your native
place etc.

70

Adopt and Adapt to Manage
Change
Secondly, Changes that we anticipate
will happen but don’t particularly
want to occur. Examples of this are
completing college and parting with
friends, restructuring at the
workplace, going to hospital for
check-up etc.
Thirdly, changes we don’t anticipate
will happen but would like to occur.
Examples of this are getting a sudden
promotion, getting tickets to the
cricket match etc.
Lastly, changes we don’t anticipate
will happen and don’t want to occur.
Examples of this are a sudden death of
a relative or friend, finding that the
flat you have booked has suddenly
become more expensive etc.
ONE MINUTE POINTERS FOR MANAGING
CHANGE
ü Realize that people tend to
support what they had a hand in
creating. Therefore, those who
71

you want to change must be made
to feel they want to change
ü Make certain that those who must
change are not kept in the dark.
Gather people as a group so
everyone is hearing the same
thing at the same time. This is
critical, in that mutual
understanding of what that change
entails, quells rumors and
uneasiness.
ü Always begin by giving the bigchange picture first. People
digest and learn information best
when it is presented from the
broad to the specific.
ü The first step of communicating
change is the “what” aspect of
change.
ü Second step is the “why”. Explain
why this decision to change has
been made.
ü Third step is to explain the
“how”. Explain how this change
will benefit the company, and if
possible how the change will
72

benefit people individually.
ü Before you progress to the “when”
you expect the changes to start
occurring, take the time to
demonstrate your awareness of
your team’s feelings.
ü If warranted, discuss what new
training will take place to
prepare the team for the change.
Be specific here, as it will calm
many anxieties down the anxiety
that many are suffocating with.
ü Since change does not just happen
overnight, talk about how the
change will progress. It is
important to tie in the present
with the future. Use connected
words and sentences such as,
“Here is where we are now, today,
and this is where we want to be
by such-and-such a date.” Again,
a timetable is critical in giving
people transition-target dates.
ü Then proceed by asking for the
team’s suggestions and ideas
relative to how they feel the
change could be best executed.
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This step again serves to bring
the team into the picture and
help them to feel involved.
ü Phony participation will only
make the change more difficult to
implement. The team’s interest
and enthusiasm will grow as they
are encouraged to express their
ideas. A change in behavior
begins with a change in one’s
mind. This step starts that
process.
ü Point out areas that will not be
affected by the change. For many,
this creates a psychological
comfort zone.
ü Reflect openness and honesty.
ü With respect to personal changes,
always know in your heart that
you can’t change another person.
If it necessitates a change, you
can change to the situation or a
person, instead of trying to
change another.

74

ü With respect to changing a group
or a community know and abide by
the rule “you be the change that
you want to see in the world”.

75

CHAPTER 12
Emoting or Being Emotional?
No frightful evil shocks the wise,
Who guard themselves against surprise.
-Verse 429, Thirukkural
Employees who have a high Emotional
Quotient (EQ) have an elevated degree
of emotional intelligence: They have
brain power, are better team players,
are more productive, enhance the work
environment, bring a sense of
responsibility, stability, and
commitment to the workplace and reduce
costly turnover with their high Social
Quotient or SQ.
ONE MINUTE POINTERS FOR EQ MANAGEMENT
ü Express feelings clearly and
directly
ü Don’t be afraid to express
feelings and not dominated by
negative emotions
ü Read non-verbal communication.
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ü Balance feelings with reason,
logic, and reality.
ü Act out of desire, not because of
duty, guilt, force or obligation.
ü Be emotionally resilient.
ü Be interested in other people's
feelings.

77

CHAPTER 13
The Spring Effect / Affect
Is there anything difficult for him to
do, who acts, with (the right)
instruments at the right time?.
-Verse 483, Thirukkural
As in everything else, downturns in
economy happen. High and low cycles
are part of the cycle of life, be it
your personal or career life. And yes,
from time to time bad things do indeed
happen to good people.

Bad things happen to good people,
we need to deal with it
Successful people know how to get over
them if they downturns do happen. They
know how to override obstacles and
they know how to minimize their
downtime by being flexible and
adaptable to what is presented to
them.

78

Sometimes a downturn is not always a
sign of bad times. In fact, downturn
means below normal output. Of course,
when that downturn happens with no
specific cause, we get concerned,
self-doubt creeps in, frustration and
anxiety becomes our friend and
introspection often enters the picture
and this gets you into a bigger funk.
Successful people typically look at
down situations with an analytical and
logical mind, they also know that to
control their own destiny they must be
able to get out of that slump,
whatever the cause, on their own and
as quickly as possible.

When you are in a hole, stop digging
and work your way up

Firstly, recognize the source of the
slump and then take steps to get back
to where you want to be as quickly as
possible and on your own.

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ONE MINUTE POINTERS FOR FACING TOUGH
SITUATIONS
ü Examine the situation in a
rational and logical way and also
understand how you feel about it.
ü Talk about your slump with your
close and trusted friends.
ü Use the extra time you now have
to get organized
ü Experiment and try some new
innovative approaches
ü Jump-start your attitude.
ü Check out your goals in all areas
of your life.
ü Count your blessings.

80

CHAPTER 14
Who Said Life Is Fair
Feel not frustrated saying it is hard.
-Verse 611, Thirukkural
Typically, successful people recognize
the opportunity that the world offers
and know that they can have nearly
anything they want if they are willing
to work hard at it and pay the price
for it.

Work within the context of opportunities
presented and maximize life
Interestingly enough, many people
however, don’t even know what it is
that they want. There are too many
“ifs,” “ands” and “buts” in their
equation and they will talk about a
missed opportunity and indicate that
if only this did not happen, I would
have got it done etc. etc. But, the
fact is, that knowing what you want is
critical.
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Know what you really want
If you don’t know what you want and
where you want to be, you’re missing
out on the opportunity that living
presents itself to you.
For some people, it may take a
lifetime to realize that life is not
fair. For others, they may never learn
that life is unfair.
Successful people, however, seem to
understand that message early on in
life and work within that context and
maximize the opportunities that life
presents itself.
When they have an opportunity, they
seize the opportunity and make sure
that they have extracted the maximum
out of the opportunity.

Respect every opportunity
Successful people also know that any
opportunity which comes their way has
to be respected, analyzed and acted
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upon.
With the hectic pace of life in
evidence nowadays, you cannot reach a
certain level of business success and
ride with that for a while and enjoy
the fruits of success.
Today, you are only as good as what
you are doing right now!
In today’s world, you cannot build a
reputation based on future intentions
and you cannot maintain a reputation
based on past performance.

Keep moving forward
Marshall Goldsmith in his book “what
got you here won’t get you there” says
that you can be great at what you do
today and not be able to compete at
the next level by tomorrow.
Successful people always keep moving
forward. They accept the fact that the
running around does not end and they
don’t indulge in self-pity or wail and
grumble about it at all.

83

There is a wrong notion that
successful people are just plain
lucky.
Many think that successful people are
those who happen to be in the right
place at the right time.
Many others think that successful
people were fortunate enough to simply
have the right connections. That may
be true to some extent, but most of
the successful people work and make it
happen, and they do that by honing
these two critical traits: Commitment
and Discipline.

Be focused and disciplined
Discipline is about harnessing the
mind-set and exercising the selfcontrol necessary to turn a thought
process or an action into habit.
It involves creating a behavioral
routine or defining process frameworks
and implementing a regimen.
Discipline is mechanical in nature
while commitment is about having the
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burn, the desire, the motivation, and
the passion to relentlessly pursue, to
keep at it, to prevail.
These two traits will help turnover
difficult situations into winnable
situations.
ONE-MINUTE POINTERS MANAGING WHEN
THINGS DON’T FALL IN PLACE
ü Move on and do what needs to be
done, don’t blame anything on
fate.
ü Take responsibility for your life
ü Always look for the brighter
side, even in bleak situations.
ü Luck is nothing but being
prepared
ü Cultivate discipline; it helps to
handle tough times better.

85

CHAPTER 15
Take In A Big Dose Of Reality
Self-rule leads to realms of gods,
Indulgence leads to gloomy hades.
-Verse 121, Thirukkural
Successful people typically have a
code of rules they live and work by.
They know what rules make sense and
needs to stay on and what rules needs
to go.
They also know what rules apply today
and what rules don’t; and no matter
what others seem to do, they move on
with clarity in terms of thought and
purpose.
GOLDEN RULE 1: You are what you think.
Thinking positive thoughts leads the
way to a positive life.
The ability to think enabling
thoughts, calming thoughts and
positive thoughts are critical and the
way we think and react to situations

86

and opportunities will ultimately
determine how successful we are.
GOLDEN RULE 2: Attitude determines
altitude and typically winning starts
with a positive attitude.
Attitude is extremely critical to
becoming successful since a positive
frame of mind; an indomitable spirit
will lead to winning and being
successful.
Happiness in life is based on how you
respond to life’s challenges.
Successful people know that life is
full of ups and downs and we always
need to be happy and resilient and
ready to face challenges in a positive
way.
GOLDEN RULE 3: Be self-reliant, being
dependent on others for your success
or for a successful outcome is being
fool hardy
Standing on your own legs and being
sufficiently able to manage self is a
key trait of successful people. They
do not depend on others for their

87

success and firmly believe that
success can only be obtained by being
reliant on self.
GOLDEN RULE 4: What got you here is
not going to get you where you want to
go
Successful people don’t rest in on
their present accomplishments, They
clearly understand that change is the
only constant and work towards
upgrading their skills and
capabilities as they know that the
future is a new game and they need to
have the right tools to play the
success game in the future.
GOLDEN RULE 5: Keep working out new
ways to better yourself and the work
you do
Kaizen or continuous improvement is
one of the buzz words of successful
people. They believe that there is so
much to learn and so much to do and
are never complacent.
GOLDEN RULE 6: Birds of similar
feather do indeed tend to flock
together.
88

Successful people believe that a
person can be judged by the company
they keep and they truly believe that
to be successful you need to be in the
company of positive minded successful
people.
GOLDEN RULE 7: Destiny always favors
the prepared individual
Successful people believe that being
lucky is all about being prepared.
They believe in the maxim that success
is all about preparation.
Focused hard work will always get you
long term reward, this follows the law
of nature people intrinsically believe
in the karmic law and believe that
hard work will always get you rewards,
this is akin to planting seeds and
waiting for the food crop to grow and
be harvested. Whatever you do, you
cannot harvest the crop until it is
time to do so.
GOLDEN RULE 8: Be honest and ethical,
even when no one is watching you
Successful people most often have an
internal moral compass which dictates
89

every aspect of their lives. They are
honest and ethical, even when nobody
is looking or watching over them,
since they believe that they have to
uphold their principles for
themselves, not because somebody else
is watching.
GOLDEN RULE 9: Self Esteem is seldom
misunderstood
Successful people seldom misunderstand
the importance of self-esteem and
always ensure that their self-esteem
is always high. They also realize that
the world presents challenges and
bottlenecks and it is important for
them to have a high opinion of
themselves and their capabilities.
GOLDEN RULE 10: Count your blessings
every day
Sounds corny?, it’s true that we don’t
look at what we have and always aspire
for what we don’t have. Successful
people always count their blessings.
This leads to a clearer mind and that
helps in developing razor sharp focus
on what they are currently pursuing.

90

Open your eyes, do what successful
people do, see what successful people
see, and take advantage of all you’ve
got going for you. We live in a time
of great opportunities. Don’t miss it.
Focus, dedication and sustained
commitment will deliver success to
you, irrespective of what you are
doing currently.

SUCCESS IS ALL ABOUT PUTTING YOUR BEST
EFFORT AND FACING ANY EVENTUALITY THAT
LIFE PRESENTS TO YOU

91

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