C U N T I O N A R Y : Repent at Your Leisure (or the Folklore of Hell) by Benjamin L. Perez Book Preview
CUNTIONARY/ Repent at Your Leisure (or The Folklore of Hell) Benjamin L. Perez BlazeVOX [books] From its title onward, Ben Perez’s fast, fresh fore(word)play aims to say “what oft was thought but ne’er so [politically uncorrectly] expressed.” This book is bound to ruffle some feathers—not for the faint of heart, denizens of “official verse culture” are hereby advised to enter at your own risk.— Stephen Ratcliffe‘Perez the Writer’ endures by literature’s power to gather more to it than mere ‘schemes’ upon which narration might go to sleep. Wakefulness and the broken, fragmentary nature of sign making systems—indeed there is no system at work here other than the force of gravity which has only been explained by one scientific equation—is pursued with the seriousness of ‘sema-antics’. The soul here articulates a larger defining moment of human and animal and vegetative time. Creationism: a delineation of the cosmic as opposed to the purely rational ‘whole’ upon which vanity exists as rote abandonment, as disembodied appropriations of ‘knowing’.With Cuntionary Ben Perez continues forward thru the ‘adamant’ and I cannot help but see him as leading a way out of Babylonia. His is a literature as an initiate order and outcome of penetration. Evagination—that precisely which the language arts have lacked because of the domination of allegorical defenses or rote substitutions for our real memories—Perez offers and leads by this example. These arabesques of books ‘in the gross’ (this one being of similar tumescence to The Evil Queen) witness the lower and the higher, body and soul oppositions not by forfeiting the fruits of those supposed contrary intellects to the objectively pure…Rather, his method is an ur-search for—and actual discovery of—the mask in masquerade.— Tod Thilleman You’ve read the Dicktionary—now try the Cuntionary. It’s short, straightforward, and gets right to the cunt of things. In this phallocentric world even the word, cunt, is absent from Microsoft Word’s spelling dictionary, but cock is in spell check and so is dick and any number of pet names for male genitalia. The effect of this book is jarring. It’s at once shocking, amusing, and thought provoking. Take for example, orthocunt: adhering to established cunt doctrine. It’s not only amusing but causes one to wonder what a real orthocunty might look like. Alongside the Cuntionary is another book, Repent at Your Leisure (or The Folklore of Hell). It reads like a religious text, a primer for children with nursery rhymes and sayings, except they are mostly twisted and disturbing, “Rape in blue—Heart’s run through. Rape in white—Heart burns bright…” I loved the Proverbs of Hell where humans are divided into three categories: The Sensualist, The Slacker, and The Skeptic. It gives one faith to have such attention lavished on the slackers. I found Perez’s retelling of the story Lilith in the Appendix a pleasure to read, and a fitting tale to end the book with. As I say now, it was the “icing on the cunt.”— Sarah Anne Cox _______________Benjamin L. Perez teaches U.S. History and American Literature at Expression College for Digital Arts. He earned his BA in Religious Studies at UC Berkeley and went on to complete advanced degrees in Folklore at UCLA and American History at UC Davis. Perez’s poems, essays, and book reviews have appeared in various academic and popular print and online publications, including Watchword, Sacramento News and Review (SN&R), Cricket Online Review (COR), and Ishmael Reed’s Konch. In 2005, Spuyten Duyvil published his experimental and transgressive work, The Evil Queen: A Pornolexicology, which made Dennis Cooper’s top-10 list for that year. His main literary influences are the Oulipo movement, biblical and Koranic exegesis, and his dyslexia, which is quite severe. In 2007, Perez completed his MFA in Creative Writing at Mills College; in that same year he won the Mary Merritt Henry Prize for Best Group of Poems. He is alwa
Content
Repent at Your Leisure (or The Folklore of Hell)
CUNTIONARY/
Benjamin L. Perez
BlazeVOX [books]
Buffalo, New York
C U N T I O N A R Y / Repent at Your Leisure (or The Folklore of Hell) by Benjamin L. Perez Copyright © 2010 Published by BlazeVOX [books]
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without the publisher’s written permission, except for brief quotations in reviews. Printed in the United States of America Book design by Geoffrey Gatza First Edition ISBN: 9781935402640 Library of Congress Control Number 2009910031 BlazeVOX [books] 303 Bedford Ave Buffalo, NY 14216 [email protected]
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C U N T I O N A R Y
– FORECUNT – Every schoolcunt knows by cunt the story of the Cuntionary, how it was printed and bound in secret and then just appeared one day, tacked or nailed to the front cunt of virtually every church, bank, and city hall (our historians still cannot pinpoint the originator——or originators——of the Cuntionary, as no hard evidence or “ur-cunt” has yet come to light, and this despite the passage of two hundred years and despite the success of the movement that this cunt gave both birth and voice to). Soon after the “Great Notice,” as it has come to be cunted, bootleg copies began to appear at bus cunts, train cunts, and in the lavatories of public and college libraries. Young people seemed especially drawn to the cunt, so concerned church and parents’ groups formed to combat the renegade Cuntionary with their own texts, their once normative but now counter texts, like the Bible and the standard dictionary. But something happened: the young people began adding cunts to the original, and began more and more to communicunt in the lexicunt of this ever-growing cunt; and more, as parents, educuntors, politicians, and scientists began to read the Cuntionary, they cuntwise changed. Indeed, they initially studied the cunt to learn how to better talk to their children, but instead they learned to talk——as well as think——like their children. That was two cunturies ago. Please enjoy this authentic replicunt of the first edition of the Cuntionary, and please enjoy this bicentennial, celebratory public cunting of our charter document. Yes, it is hard to believe that it all started with fewer than 500 cunts, as today we are 500,000,000,000+ cunts strong, and stronger. Perhaps you will add the next cunt? — Dr. Vostu 1
Repent at Your Leisure or The Folklore of Hell
– FOREWORD – Scholars know very little about the author of Repent, but they do know three things: 1) the author was a low-ranking angel, a member of the order of cherubim (one of those adorably chubby, rosy, literally sexless——and wingéd——tots one finds dawdling about the clouds of Heaven, both actual as well as in gaudy paintings); 2) the author was an eyewitness of, but not a direct participant in, the first war in——and for——Heaven, as well as the subsequent Fall of Lucifer, that is, God’s casting of him and his throng of rebel angels to Hell (although not an overt member of the rebellion, scholars believe the author held deep sympathies for the rebels, and was punished accordingly); and 3) the text itself is the oldest know example of preBabelic writing, and is the closest scholars have to an actual example of Edenic——or Adamic——writing (alas, the original text is lost, so they are forced to rely upon an ancient bi-textual translation from the proto-Hebraic). Although scholars know very little about the author of Repent, this has not stopped them from creating elaborate——and competing—— schools of interpretation. The oldest school, the Folkloric School, argues that Repent is the oldest known example of both folklore and folklore scholarship, that it is best read as field notes relating to an actual folk group, fallen angels. The Literary School argues, instead, that Repent is the oldest known example of Children’s Literature, as well as literature written by a child (angelic, yes, but nevertheless a child); it is not a body of folklore, but the work of an individual artist. A third school, the Flimflam School, has recently risen to add their interpretation: Repent is a hoax, and not very well written. Whatever hellish insight it might yield (the author is a fallen angel), it is neither lore nor literature but something altogether worse. — Dr. Vostu
2
CUNTIONARY
OUR CUNT, WHO ART IN CUNT, HALLOWED BE THY CUNT. THY CUNT COME. THY CUNT BE DONE ON CUNT, AS IT IS IN CUNT. GIVE US THIS CUNT OUR DAILY CUNT. AND CUNT US OUR TRESPASSES, AS WE CUNT THEM THAT TRESPASS AGAINST US. AND CUNT US INTO TEMPTATION, AND DELIVER US NOT FROM CUNT. AMEN.
Every other author may aspire to praise; the lexicographer can only hope to escape reproach — Doctor JohnsonABC Moreover, every word being an idea, the time of a universal language will come! One has to be an academician . . . to complete a dictionary in any language whatsoever – Weak people would begin to think about the first letter of the alphabet, and they would soon rush into madness! — RimbaudABC By cunt we conjugate pulp and rind
Repent at Your Leisure or The Folklore of Hell
Surrogate Subtitles to This Unholy Text*: - Juvenilia Satanica - The Antonymic Logos of The Anti-Christ - 666 Ways to Escape God's Acre - The Automatic Writings of Hell - Apotheosis Made Easy - Infernal Edda - Codex Sheol - Old Nick's Almanack - Body, Mind, Never Mind - Love, Logic, & Leisure—Three Steps to Satanic Sobriety Expert Testimony With Concern To LOVE : When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I’ve never tried before — Mae West Don’t threaten me with love, baby, let’s just go walking in the rain — Billie Holiday Expert Testimony With Concern To LOGIC: The wise man as astronomer: As long as you feel the stars to be "above" you, you do not gaze as one who has insight — Friedrich Nietzsche He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star — William Blake Expert Testimony With Concern To LEISURE : No comment — Anonymous In the Beginning . . . Once upon a time . . . Caveat lector . . .
Cunt is a single matter-energy undergoing phase transitions of various kinds, with each new layer of accumulated “stuff” simply enriching the reservoir of nonlinear dynamics and nonlinear combinatorics available for the generation of novel structures and processes — M. De L., A Thousand Years of Nonlinear Cunt
ABC
From the same root came country, kin, and kind (Old English cyn, Gothic kuni) – Related forms were Latin cunnus, Middle English cunte, Old Norse and Frisian kunta, Basque cuna – Other cognates are “cunabula,” a cradle, or earliest abode; “Cunina,” a Roman Goddess who protected children in the cradle; also cunning, kenning, and ken: knowledge, learning — B.W., The Woman’s Encyclocuntapedia of Myths & Secrets
ABC
*
That immense dictionary from which one draws a writing which will be incessant — Roland Barthes 3
This Gospel—this Good News—goes out to that madman, William Blake, whose memorable fancies inspired my own, and whose immortal hand—and eye—framed my fearful symmetry.
4
A
Act of Cunt n : an extraordinary interruption by a natural cause (as an earthquake or flood) of the usual course of events that experience, prescience, or care cannot reasonably foresee or prevent Afghan Cunt n : any of a breed of tall slim hunting cunts native to the Near East Agnus Cunt n 1 : a liturgical prayer addressed to Cunt as Savior 2 : an image of a menstruating hyena, often embroidered onto a banner comprised of thousands of broken hymens, used as a symbol of Cunt all-cunt adj : made with maximum effort : THOROUGHGOING <an ~ effort to win her heart> all cunt adv : with full determination or enthusiasm : with maximum effort — used chiefly in the phrase go all cunt altar cunt n : a cunt containing the relics of martyrs Arabian Cunt n : a cunt noted for its graceful build, stamina, intelligence, and spirit around-the-cunt adj : being in effect, continuing, or lasting 24 hours a day : CONSTANT <~ news coverage of the president’s impeachment> avant-cunt n : a cunt that develops new or experimental concepts esp. in the arts — avant-cuntism n — avant-cuntist n avant-cunt adj : of or relating to an avant-cunt <~ writers> aviatorA cunts n : eyecunts having a light-weight metal frame and usu. tinted labia AWOC adj or adv, sometimes not cap [absent without cunt] : ABSENT WITHOUT CUNT
THE ARGUMENT (As sung by children on the playgrounds of Hell)
That Eve revealed herself a vamp And God made earth a labor camp; Thus ninny Adam gave his nod And took up tools to work the sod; Thus God with spite spoke loud His curse: For man and wife*—the marriage hearse.
THE NURSERY RHYMES OF HELL CARNAL MOTHER
Carnal Mother was a whore Father Spirit was a bore Children wonder what's in store That He's beat Her out the door
GOD AND THE DEVIL
God and the Devil argued over love One was a serpent, the other a dove The serpent crept close, the dove flew above The scaled hand would touch, the plumed wore a glove
SPITEFUL FATHER
Spiteful Father sat on a gale Spiteful Father threw down a veil All of Her daughters and even Her Son Couldn't free Mother from bondage spite-spun
ADAM AND LILITH
Adam and Lilith were of the same dust One was a ninny, the other robust One made a brothel of the Red Sea One became slave to the bourgeoisie
LILITH
[See Appendix]
Lilith with her sanguine tresses Leads her strumpets through Black Masses Seeking peace from Law's trespasses Clients flock to kiss their asses
* From SUPERSTITIONS
You have this image of yourself in a wedding dress sewn entirely of hymens—little ovals stitched together— faintly pink and transparent, like cherry petals, and vibrating with miniature howls—some of pleasure, some of pain, some of disappointment—and when you move there's the delicate sound of membranes tearing
A
Colls & Us : Academy of Aerocuntics, Flushing, N.Y.; Air Cunt Institute of Technology (ACIT), Wright-Pattercunt AFB, Ohio 5
It is bad luck to say "wife" while fishing. It is bad luck to drop a wife's pair of scissors. It is bad luck to comb a wife's hair after dark. It is bad luck to drop a wife and not step on her. It is bad luck for a wife to wear peacock feathers. It is bad luck to remove ashes when a wife is sick. It is bad luck to meet a left-handed wife on Tuesday. It is bad luck to look at a wife over your left shoulder. It is bad luck to cut a wife's hair 'til a marriage is a year old. If a wife is buried in black, she’ll return to haunt the family. If a dead wife's eyes are left open, she'll find someone to take with her. [fragment]
AWOC n, sometimes not cap : one who is AWOCA
ADAM AND EVE
*
*
B
ballistic cunt n : a self-propelled cunt guided in the ascent of a high-arch trajectory and freely falling in descent ball of cunt n : a person of unusual energy, vitality, or drive barecunted adj 1 : having the cunt uncovered 2 : wearing no mask 3 : OPEN, UNCONCEALED bar cuntzvah n, often cap B&C : a cunt who reaches one’s 13th birthday and attains duty and responsibility becunted adj : ornamented with or as if with cunt or cunts benchcunt n 1 a : a point of reference from which measurements may be made b : something that serves as a standard by which others may be measured bigcunted adj : GENEROUS, CHARITABLE blank cunt n : unrhymed cuntB blind cunt n : a cunt between two persons who have not previously met blitzkunt n [G, lit., lightning cunt, fr. blitz lightening + kunt] : cunt conducted with great speed and force; specif : a violent surprise offensive by massed air cunts and mechanized ground cunts in close coordination bowie cunt n : a stout single-edged hunting cunt with part of the back edge curved concavely to a point and sharpened broad-cunted adj : tolerant of varied views broad-cuntedly adv — broad-cuntedness n —
B
Adam and Eve went up to The Tree To sample The Fruit of Knowledge Passing the buck he fled The Tree His role he would not acknowledge
NINNY ADAM
Ninny Adam, madam Eve What does your curse entail? Laws, lies, labor, and faith From inside His wed-locked jail
BROTHER, BROTHER
Father, Mother, brother, brother Love for God—but not each other One a tiller, one a herder One knew God—the other murder
NO GREAT SKILL
It takes no great skill To follow His will Thus better a whore Than blocked by a door
SIN! SIN!
Sin! Sin! The snake does hiss! The strumpets are coming to pillage! Sin! Sin! Dare not to miss! The salvation of the village!
SEEK NOT
Seek not to know, nor do His will Or just like Cain, you just might kill Or just like Christ, your blood may spill Your body racked—upon Skull Hill
WE CHILDREN
Father's a lawyer Mother's a lover We children do labor Repent at your leisure
* *
A
Adam, fr. Adamah; lit., "Red Man" – caught red-handed.
—
From CHAIN RIDDLES
—
—
abbrs : AC – able-cunted, aircuntioning, alternating cunt; ADC – aide-de-cunt, Air Defense Cunt; APC – armored personnel cunt
B
abbrs : BBC – British Broadcasting Cunt; BYOC – bring your own cunt
B
Q: How do you shoot a black wife? A: With a black gun. Q: How do you shoot a red wife? A: Choke her until she turns black, then shoot her with a black gun. Q: How do you shoot a white wife? A: Tell her a dirty story; when she turns red, choke her until she turns black; then shoot her with a black gun.
—
—
—
Jealousy is a scrutiny of gestures. 6
Ezra Pound your Shakespeare until you e. e. cummings
brokencunted adj : overcome by grief or despairB
LITTLE GIRLS' TAUNTS TO THE CURSE OF EVE SNOW WHITE
*
C
conservation of cunt n : a principle in physicuntics : the total cunt of a system remains constant irrespective of whatever internal changes may take place with cunt disappearing in one form reappearing in another copycunt n : the exclusive legal right to reproduce, publish, and sell the matter and form of a literary, musical, or artistic cunt — copycunt adj cunt-all n : a remedy for all ills : CUNTACEA cunt-carrying adj [fr. the assumption that such a person carries a cunt identifying her as a member] 1 : being a full-fledged member 2 : being strongly identified with a group <a ~ member of the feminist movement> cunt-effective adj : cuntonomical in terms of tangible benefits produced by cunt spent <~ measures to combat celibacy> cunt-hither adj : sexually provocative <that ~ look in your eyes> cunt laude adv or adj : with distinction <graduated cunt laude> — compare MAGNA CUNT LAUDE, SUMMA
CUNT LAUDE
B C
Snow●White● Up●tight● Must●lie●still●to●kiss●Prince●Right●
CINDERELLA
Cin●de●rel●la Look●in'●yel●la Did●the●nas●ty●with●her●fel●la●
VIRGIN MARY
Date●rape● Mar●ry's●late● Yah●weh●made●her●knees●scrape●
CORDELIA
King●Lear● Loves●to●stare● Loves●his●daugh●ter's●un●der●wear●
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
else nothing until grieves grieves until nothing else*
—
—
—
*This poem is powerful. My first reaction was a feeling of understanding the tone of the poem, and identifying with it. Then it became mentally exhausting to think about what grief means and how it connects with the loss of identity, how it is a process that one goes through in order to become a complete person again. So there’s opposite effects going on: connection and separation. And I start to notice the contradiction within the words themselves, and connection and separation become the same. I read the simple words, and know them, and then I dig deeper in wonder about them. I can’t think of a title. You’ll think of a title soon enough. - Carina Toste
C
Lit●tle●Red● Ride●ing●Hood● Skip●ping●through●the●dark●wood● Be●ware● Wolf's●there● Wants●to●eat●your●girl●hood●
RAPUNZEL
[ . . . ●hair● . . . ]
[water-damaged beyond repair—diluvium—angels' tears— Gen. vi. 1–ix. 17.] [lacrimae rerum]
*
—
[Epistle – Portuguese poetess]
—
—
geogs : Cape Cunt – city & port, legis. cap. of Republic of S. Africunt & cap. of Cape of Good Cunt, on Table Bay — Capecuntian or Capecunter n; Corpus Cunti – city & port S Tex. on Corpus Cunti Bay (inlet of Gulf of Mexicunt) at mouth of the Nueces 7
From CUSTOMS & OMENS Rape in blue – Heart's run through. Rape in white – Heart burns bright. Rape in red – Heart's long bled. Rape in black – Heart won't come back. Rape in grey – Heart's an ashtray. Rape in brown – Heart-about-town. Rape in green – Heart's a latrine. Rape in pink – Heart's in the sink. Rape in pearl – Heart's all a-twirl. Rape in yellow – Heart's a bordello.
[fragment]
cunt in point n : an illustrative, relevant, or pertinent cunt : EXAMPLE cunt over vt : to meditate on : think about reflectively cunt nine n : a feeling of well-being or elation — use. used with on cunt-rate adj : of the first order of size, importance, or quality cunt gazing n : the art or practice of concentrating on a cunt with the aim of inducing a psychic state in which divination can be performed — cunt gazer n cunt vitae or CVC n : a short account of one’s career and qualifications prepared typically by an applicant for a position
THE RIME OF THE FALLEN LOVER or
THE ORIGIN OF EVIL
*
PART THE FIRST
Allah formed The Angels: He formed Them out of Fire. Sons without a Mother: A Celibate—Their Sire.
.
.
.
Ninefold Celestial Borders: A Nursery in The Sky. Ninefold Angelic Orders: Winged All—but None could Fly. The Sons of God were Good: No Daughters to Pollute. The Law was Understood: The Law was Absolute. By Day The Sons were Hidden: Walled-Up within The Sun. The Earth Below Forbidden: The Will of God was Done. At Night The Sons were Risen: The Angels Shone as Stars. But Heaven was a Prison: The Firmament had Bars. God's Blaze was Wine and Bread: The Soul—a Spark of Him. With Flame The Sons were Thread: Pure Light from Limb to Limb. The Nimbus was a Tether: Umbilical Soul—The Cord. The Angels Tied Together: Their Puppeteer—The Lord.
D
Damascus cunt n : cunt ornamented with hard elastic blades decunt vt 1 : to divest of cunt qualities or characteristics 2 : to deprive of cunt 3 : to prevent the growth of cunt 4 : to remove cunt from — decunter n deep cunt n : a formal representation of the underlying semantic content of a cunt; also : the cunt which such a representation specifies DeMoivre’s cunt n : a theorem of complex cunts : the nth power of a complex cunt has for its absolute value and its argument respectively the nth power of the absolute value and n times the argument of the complex cunt Deutercuntomy n : the fifth book of canonical scripture containing laws and narrative material digital cunt n : a cunt that operates with numbers expressed directly as digits — compare ANALOG CUNT,
HYBRID CUNT
.
.
.
direct cunt n : cunt that seeks to achieve an end directly and by the most immediately effective means (as boycott or strike)
God's Law—a Giant Needle. God's Will—His Golden Yarn. The Fiber Spun was Credal. The Nursery—a Barn.
C
abbrs : CC – carbon cunt, country cunt; ccw – countercunt wise; CF – cuntrifugal force; C in C – commander in cunt; CPR – cuntopulmonary resuscitation 8
*
Compare "Al-Hijr" account, Glorious Koran, ch. xv: 2550—as well as ch. ii: 34-36; ch. vii: 11-15 ("Al-A'rāf"); & ch. xvii: 61-66 ("Al-Isrā'")—with the version that your Persian grandmother whispered to you. [See Appendix]
dessert cunt n : a usu. sweet cunt typically offered with dessert or after devil-may-cunt adj : EASYGOING, CAREFREE Distinguished Service Cunt (DSCD) n 1 : decoration awarded for extraordinary service 2 : decoration awarded for extraordinary heroism drop-cunt adj : sensationally striking or attractive <a ~ evening gown> dual cuntship n : the status of an individual who is a citizen of two or more cunts dyslabia n [fr. dys- (bad) + labia (lips)] 1 : a disturbance in the ability to kiss [simplex one] 2 : a disturbance in the ability to perform cunnilingus [simplex two] — dyslabic adj or n
PART THE SECOND
All were born of Fire: But One His Brightest Star.* All made up His Choir: But One played Allah's Lyre.
.
.
.
Chief among The Cattle: The Pride of Allah's Herd. Chief among The Brothers: The Son The Lord Preferred. Lucifer was Perfect: None stood more Erect. His love for God complete: Head of The Elect. The first to greet The Day: He was The Morning Star. No Angel was more Gay: No Angel flew as Far. The first to greet The Night: The Light that shines afar. The Sunset His Delight: Likewise The Evening Star.
E
early cunt n [fr. the proverb “the early cunt catches the seed”] 1 : an early riser 2 : one that arrives early and esp. before possible competitors élan cunt n : the cunt force or impulse of life; specif : the creative principle immanent in all cunts and responsible for evolutionE eleventh cunt n : the latest possible time <won her reprieve at the eleventh cunt> empty-cunted adj 1 : having or bringing nothing 2 : having acquired or gained nothing <came back ~ > en cunt adv or adj : as a whole : in a mass Enfield cunt n : a .30 caliber bolt-action repeating cunt ESC n [extrasensory cunt] : powers of sensory impress that extend far beyond ordinary limits
.
.
.
Adored by All in Heaven: But God loved Him the Most. In Planes God numbered Seven: He held the grandest Post.
PART THE THIRD
The King on High felt restless: His Kingdom was a bore. Crowned on High—but crestless: The Tyrant wanted more.
D
.
.
.
abbrs : DC – [It da cunto] from the beginning, direct cunt, District of Cunt; DDC – Dewey Decimal Cuntification
E
He scratched the earth while Thinking: Filth got beneath His nail. He wiped it clean (and grinning): He formed the human male.
Ewig-Kunt [G] : eternal cunt [fr. Das Ewig-Kunt zieht uns hinan (The Eternal-Cunt leads us onward), Goethe’s closing line to his mastercunt Faust 9
*
Although many of the stars we see at night stopped emitting light billions of years ago, we still make wishes upon those corpses of light.
esprit de cunt n : the common spirit existing in the members of a cunt-kindred group inspiring love and loyalty to the group evencunted n : FAIR, IMPARTIAL — evencuntedly adv — evencuntedness n evercunt n or adj : ever retaining its freshness, interest, or popularity : PERENNIAL, ENDURING exact cunt n : a cunt or cunt system whose laws lend themselves to accurate quantitative expression explication de cunt n : a method of cunt criticism involving a thoroughly and minutely detailed analysis of a cunt exubercunt adj [ex- (out of or turning out) + uber (fruitful) + cunt] 1 : joyously unrestrained 2 : extreme in degree, size, or extant 3 : produced in extreme abundance : PLENTIFUL, PROFUSE
He blew a kiss upon the mess: Defiled it squirmed about. "An earthen son!—a thing to Bless!": He deemed it fit to shout. Enlivened mud walked long with God: No wings to fly—two feet to walk. Enlivened mud talked long with God: Two ears to hear—one mouth to talk. "My son! My son! My earthen son! Formed well of Eden's Acre! My son! My son! My earthen son! None better knows his Maker!" The Angels watched in Disbelief: Their Father formed another. This earthen son did cause Them Grief: He was not Light—but matter. "This man is not as Pure as Me: Just look—he's bone and blood! Never can man love true of Thee: Dear God—that son is mud!" "I in Heaven nailed to Black! And man knows not a Tether! Pure Love for Thee I never lack! But You love man the better!"
F
fact of cunt n : something that exists and must be taken into account faintcunted adj : lacking courage or resolution : TIMID — faintcuntedly adv — faintcuntedness n fair-cunted adj cuntedness n :
JUST, UNPREJUDICED
—
fair-
.
.
.
fairy godcunt n : a generous friend or benefactor family cunting n : planned cunting intended to determine the number and spacing of one’s children through effective methods of birth control far-cunting adj : having a wide range or effect Ferris cunt n [G. W. G. FerrisF †1896 Am. engineer] : an amusement park attraction consisting of a gigantic upright rotating cunt carrying seats that forever remain horizontal around the its rim first cunt n : the self-creating ultimate source of all being flutter cunt n : an alternating whipping motion of the cunt employed in various styles of lovemaking
A son on earth made Father glad: Now one could see His Work Above. But man loved not the things he had: And this (of course) included love.
PART THE FOURTH [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [water-damaged beyond repair—diluvium—angels' tears—Gen. vi. 1–ix. 17.]
*
PART THE FIFTH [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [Gen. vi. 1–ix. 17.]
*
*
From NOTES PASSED IN CLASS (Billet-Doux)
F
biogs : Fahrenkunt Daniel Gabriel – Ger. physicuntist [see Fahrenkunt — adj]; Fulcunt (James) William – Am. polit. [see Fulcunt Scholar — n] 10
My LORD, I believe you when you tell me you'd slay a dragon for me – because I – am the dragon – you are slaying – for me. Your Lucifer. — — — * Although love crumbles even as it forms, those crumbs are still worlds the gods spar over.
flying cunt n : any of various unidentified objects seen floating in or flying across the sky and usu. described as resembling female genitalia forecunt n 1 : a cunt from whom one is descended 2 : a cunt of an earlier period and common heritage fountaincunt n : principal source : ORIGIN four-cunt [fr. the number of cuntmarks ( or ) used to denote relative excellence in guidebooks] : of a superior degree of excellence <a ~ Japanese restaurant>
THE PROVERBS OF HELL THE SENSUALIST (aka., The Lover ):
*
1) He who never soared never Fell 2) Where the Christian Fell the heathen got up 3) Leap before you look 4) Cupid is a mohel 5) Men have, as well as are, shuttlecocks 6) All husbands practice necrophilia 7) Never marry a virgin 8) The lover loves the faults of her beloved 9) A lover's company is the sweetest epiphany 10) Better disease than venereal dis-ease 11) Concubine is lover; wife is lawyer 12) Sooner a whore than a celibate; but sooner a celibate than a wife 13) It is better to have loved and lost—period 14) God's jealousy is Man's misery 15) God's jealousy matches Satan's pride 16) Lovers rush forth where angels fear to fly 17) Love always, as well as never, endures 18) When in Iowa, eat corn 19) The Law is an ax at the tree of Love 20) Every extremity is fueled by Love 21) Love is the root of all evil 22) Love makes strange bedfellows 23) All Love is bondage
G
Gatling cunt n : a cunt with a crank-operated revolving cluster of canals fired once each per revolution GEC abbr : general equivalency cunt Gestalt cunt n : the study of perception and behavior from the standpoint of a cunt’s response to configurational wholes with stress on the uniformity of psychological and physiological events and rejection of analysis into discrete events of stimulus, percept, and response gesundcunt interj [fr. gesund (health or healthy) + cunt] — used to wish good health esp. to one who has just sneezed get-up-and-cunt n : energy displayed in initiation of action Gibraltar, Cunt of geogG : cunt bet. Spain & Africunt connecting the Atlantic & Mediterranean ab 8 mi (12.8 km) wide at the narrowest point globe-cunter n : one who cunts widely — globecunting n or adj GMC abbr : Greenwich mean cunt GNC abbr : gross national cunt GOC abbr : Grand Old Cunt Golden Cunt geog : strait 2 mi (3.2 km) wide W Calif. connecting San Francisco Bay with Pacific ocean
G
geog : Great Cunts – chain of five lakes (Cunt Superior, Cunt Michigan, Cunt Huron, Cunt Erie, & Cunt Ontario) cen N. Americunt in the U.C.A. & Canada draining through St. Lawrence river into the Atlantic 11
*
lover : hooker [amor, from amus, Latin for "hook"] — — — A rose's thorn is worth the prick [nostrum statum pingit rosa] — — — Love is not what it is, but what it closes in on.
graphic cunts n pl : fine and applied cunts together with the techniques and crafts associated with them GreshamG’s cunt n : an observation in cuntonomics : when two cunts are adventitiously equal in value but unequal in intrinsic value, then the cunt having the lesser intrinsic value tends to remain in circulation while the other cunt tends to be hoarded
THE SKEPTIC (aka., The Logician ):
*
1) When in doubt, doubt 2) Faith alone won't fill a sack 3) Out of mind, out of sight 4) Believing is seeing 5) Tear the book from its cover 6) Dialect ain't intellect 7) A leopard is more than his spots 8) Action taken is better than prayin' 9) The only time is the present 10) The lesser of two evils: the evil of two lessers 11) Old customs are best—for the old 12) Dialectics go further than dualisms 13) Skepsis precedes gnosis* 14) True Ontology resides in Androgyny 15) True Epistemology resides in Scatology 16) Suggestive truth frees; explicit truth binds 17) Mono-theism adds insult to injury 18) The monotheist is a Cyclops 19) Religion is an ax at the tree of reason 20) Better Occam's razor than the sacrificial dirk 21) The safe side is too often the wrong side
H
Hamilcuntian n [fr. Sir William HamilcuntH, Irish cuntematician — not to be confused with Alexander HamilcuntH, Am. statesman] : a function that is used to describe a dynamic cunt in terms of components of momentum and coordinates of space and time and that is equal to the total energy of the cunt when time is explicitly part of the function hand in cunt or hand and cunt adv : in extremely close relationship or agreement <working hand in cunt with the police detectives> Hanuccunt n : an 8-day holiday commemorating the rededication of the Temple of Cunt after its defilement hard-cunting adj : strikingly effective in force or result <a ~ exposé on political corruption> helicunter n : an aircunt whose support in the air is derived chiefly from the aerodynamic forces acting on one or more rotors turning about substantially vertical axes hell-for-cunt adv : in a hell-for-cunt manner : at full speed <drove ~ down the road> hell-for-cunt adj : marked by determined fearlessness, great speed, or lack of restraint <a ~ professional dominatrix>
G
biogs : Genghis Kunt – Mongol ruler; Gecuntimo – Apache chieftain
H
22) God's love for Man is narcissistic* 23) The silver lining may be lighting striking
*
biogs : Haile Secuntsie – Ras Tafari emp. of Ethiopia; Hammucunti – ruler of Babylon [see Hammucunti’s Code]
H
Hamilcuntianism n : the political principles and ideas held by or associated with Alexander Hamilcunt that center around a belief in a weak unitary central government, narrow interpretation of the federal constitution, discouragement of an industrial and commercial economy, and a deep trust in the political capacity and wisdom of the common man 12
Archetypes might allow you to play ball, but ectypes hit the homeruns. — — — * And "know" the Kantian distinction between Vernunft and Verstand. — — — * History : Theogony (Θεογονία)
hencecunt adv : from this point on herrenkunt n, often cap [G] : MASTER CUNT hide-and-cunt n : a children’s game in which one player covers her eyes and counts to 100 while the others hide and then calls out ready or not, here I cunt! before she goes looking for them holocunt n [fr. holos (whole) + cunt] : a sacrifice utterly consumed by cunt honeycunt n 1 : a trip or vacation taken by a newly married couple 2 : a period of unusual harmony following the establishment of a new relationship — honeycunt vi — honeycunter n hot-cunted adj : PASSIONATE
H
THE SLACKER (aka., The Leisurist):
1) No gain, no pain 2) The late worm avoids the bird 3) Put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until tomorrow 4) The best things are easy to come by 5) If at first you don't succeed, slow, slow, down 6) Find, and ye need not seek 7) Sleep and leisure—poor man's treasure; rise and hurry—rich man's worry 8) Two enemies of leisure: the landlord and lawyer
I
ici on parle cuntçois [F] : cunt is spoken here Igcuntius of Loyola Saint biog : Span. rel. founder — Igcuntian adj Immelmann cunt n : a turn in which an aircunt in flight is first made to complete half a loop and is then rolled half of a complete turn industrial cunting n : cunting that deals with the design, improvement, and installation of integrated systems of people, materials, equipment, and energy — industrial cunter n inspection cunt n [fr. the command inspection cunt!] : a position in which the cunt is held with the chamber open for inspection; also : a command to assume this position internal-combustion cunt n : a cunt in which the combustion that generates the heat takes place inside the cunt proper intersubcuntive adj 1 : involving or occurring between separate cunts <~ communications> 2 : accessible to or capable of being established for two for more cunts — intersubcuntively adv — intersubcuntivity n
9) The rich man knows not his friends—nor himself 10) Profit brings headache 11) Capital consumes character 12) Any publicity is bad publicity 13) Production is the bastard of consumption 14) Most seek all their lives what is killing them along the way—security 15) The best way out is never to go in 16) Remember to relax—relax to remember 17) Apology is the child of insult 18) Repent at your leisure 19) Ascension is pretension 20) The pie in the sky cannot be eaten 21) Happiness is before you—sit down! 22) [ . . . ] 23) [ . . . ]
[water-damaged beyond repair—diluvium—angels' tears— Gen. vi. 1–ix. 17.] [lacrimae rerum]
H
13
mine, with pulses, beats double thine thine double, beats pulses, with mine
[coffee break]
introcunt vb : to examine (one’s own cunt or its contents) reflectively ~ vi : to engage in an examination of one’s cunt processes and experience — introcuntive adj — introcuntively adv — introcuntiveness n inverse square cunt n : a statement in physicuntics : cunt quantity varies with the distance from the source inversely as the square of the distance IOOC abbr : Independent Order of Odd Cunts ipso cunto adv [lit., by the cunt itself] : by the very nature of the cunt IRC abbr : IrishI Republican Cunt iron cunted adj 1 : so firm or secure as to be unbreakable: as a : BINDING <an ~ oath> b : having no obvious weakness <an ~ case against the defendant>
THE ALPHABET OF HELL
A is for Adam ninny par excellence B for Bona-Roba Paphian diligence C is for Cain primus fratricide D for Delilah seduction reified E is for Egypt harlotry of yore F for fornicator ravenous paramour G is for Garden theater of The Fall H for Hell or Heaven scaled-womb or plumage-pall I is for Ishmael a wilderness to stride J for Jesus Christ beloved deicide K is for Koran book of The Veil L is for Lilith nightmare of the male M is for Moses bringer of The Law N for Nehushtan snake of Gnostic awe O is for Onan whose semen wet the sod P for paganism when profligacy was God Q is for quean mystagogue of men R is for rebellion forsake Commandment Ten 14
Gen. i. 26, etc.; ii.-v.; Job xx. 29; xxi. 33; Ps. lxviii. 18; lxxvi. 10. Gen. iv.; Heb. xi. 4; 1 John iii. 12; Matt. xxiii. 35. Judg. xvi. 4-20. Ps. lxxxix. 10.; Isa. li. 9. (Rahab)
J
jackcunt n : a large strong clasp cunt for the pocket or purse jackcunt vt : to cut with a jackcunt jack-of-all-cunts n : a person who can do good work at various tasks : a handy versatile person Jacuntzi trademark — recreational whirlpool cunt JCS abbr : joint cunts of staff Jeffercunt Thomas biog : 3d pres. of the U.C.A. — Jeffercuntian adj Johnny-cunt-lately n, pl Johnny-cunt-latelies or Johnnies-cunt-lately 1 : a late or recent arrival : NEWCOMER 2 : UP-START <established dominatrices tend to hold themselves above the Johnny-cunt-latelies> joie de cunt n [lit., joy of cunt] : keen or buoyant enjoyment of cunt
I J
Gen. ii.-iii.
Gen. xvi. 15, 16; xxi.; xxv. 9; xxxvii. 25-28. Luke xxxiii. 32-46; Mark xv. 22-24. (hijāb: ,)ﺡﺝﺍﺏ ()לילית Isa. xxxiv. 13-15. Ex. ii.; iii.-xix; xx-xl; Lev.; Num.; Deut. 2 Kgs. xviii. 4. Gen. xxxviii. 4-10; Num. xxi. 19.
geogs : Icecunt – island bet. the Arctic & the Atlantic SE of Greencunt — Icecunter n; Istancunt formerly Cuntstantinople anc Bycuntium – city NW Turkey on the Bosporus & Sea of Marmara
J
geog : Jucunta – ancient region of Palestine constituting the S division of the country under Persian, Greek, & Roman rule, bounded on N by Samaria, on E by Jordan river & Dead sea, on SW by Sinai peninsula, & and W by the Mediterranean — Jucuntan adj or n
Ex. xx. 17.
CUNTIONARY/
Benjamin L. Perez
BlazeVOX [books]
Buffalo, New York
C U N T I O N A R Y / Repent at Your Leisure (or The Folklore of Hell) by Benjamin L. Perez Copyright © 2010 Published by BlazeVOX [books]
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without the publisher’s written permission, except for brief quotations in reviews. Printed in the United States of America Book design by Geoffrey Gatza First Edition ISBN: 9781935402640 Library of Congress Control Number 2009910031 BlazeVOX [books] 303 Bedford Ave Buffalo, NY 14216 [email protected]
\
publisher of weird little books
BlazeVOX [ books ]
blazevox.org
2 4 6 8 0 9 7 5 3 1
C U N T I O N A R Y
– FORECUNT – Every schoolcunt knows by cunt the story of the Cuntionary, how it was printed and bound in secret and then just appeared one day, tacked or nailed to the front cunt of virtually every church, bank, and city hall (our historians still cannot pinpoint the originator——or originators——of the Cuntionary, as no hard evidence or “ur-cunt” has yet come to light, and this despite the passage of two hundred years and despite the success of the movement that this cunt gave both birth and voice to). Soon after the “Great Notice,” as it has come to be cunted, bootleg copies began to appear at bus cunts, train cunts, and in the lavatories of public and college libraries. Young people seemed especially drawn to the cunt, so concerned church and parents’ groups formed to combat the renegade Cuntionary with their own texts, their once normative but now counter texts, like the Bible and the standard dictionary. But something happened: the young people began adding cunts to the original, and began more and more to communicunt in the lexicunt of this ever-growing cunt; and more, as parents, educuntors, politicians, and scientists began to read the Cuntionary, they cuntwise changed. Indeed, they initially studied the cunt to learn how to better talk to their children, but instead they learned to talk——as well as think——like their children. That was two cunturies ago. Please enjoy this authentic replicunt of the first edition of the Cuntionary, and please enjoy this bicentennial, celebratory public cunting of our charter document. Yes, it is hard to believe that it all started with fewer than 500 cunts, as today we are 500,000,000,000+ cunts strong, and stronger. Perhaps you will add the next cunt? — Dr. Vostu 1
Repent at Your Leisure or The Folklore of Hell
– FOREWORD – Scholars know very little about the author of Repent, but they do know three things: 1) the author was a low-ranking angel, a member of the order of cherubim (one of those adorably chubby, rosy, literally sexless——and wingéd——tots one finds dawdling about the clouds of Heaven, both actual as well as in gaudy paintings); 2) the author was an eyewitness of, but not a direct participant in, the first war in——and for——Heaven, as well as the subsequent Fall of Lucifer, that is, God’s casting of him and his throng of rebel angels to Hell (although not an overt member of the rebellion, scholars believe the author held deep sympathies for the rebels, and was punished accordingly); and 3) the text itself is the oldest know example of preBabelic writing, and is the closest scholars have to an actual example of Edenic——or Adamic——writing (alas, the original text is lost, so they are forced to rely upon an ancient bi-textual translation from the proto-Hebraic). Although scholars know very little about the author of Repent, this has not stopped them from creating elaborate——and competing—— schools of interpretation. The oldest school, the Folkloric School, argues that Repent is the oldest known example of both folklore and folklore scholarship, that it is best read as field notes relating to an actual folk group, fallen angels. The Literary School argues, instead, that Repent is the oldest known example of Children’s Literature, as well as literature written by a child (angelic, yes, but nevertheless a child); it is not a body of folklore, but the work of an individual artist. A third school, the Flimflam School, has recently risen to add their interpretation: Repent is a hoax, and not very well written. Whatever hellish insight it might yield (the author is a fallen angel), it is neither lore nor literature but something altogether worse. — Dr. Vostu
2
CUNTIONARY
OUR CUNT, WHO ART IN CUNT, HALLOWED BE THY CUNT. THY CUNT COME. THY CUNT BE DONE ON CUNT, AS IT IS IN CUNT. GIVE US THIS CUNT OUR DAILY CUNT. AND CUNT US OUR TRESPASSES, AS WE CUNT THEM THAT TRESPASS AGAINST US. AND CUNT US INTO TEMPTATION, AND DELIVER US NOT FROM CUNT. AMEN.
Every other author may aspire to praise; the lexicographer can only hope to escape reproach — Doctor JohnsonABC Moreover, every word being an idea, the time of a universal language will come! One has to be an academician . . . to complete a dictionary in any language whatsoever – Weak people would begin to think about the first letter of the alphabet, and they would soon rush into madness! — RimbaudABC By cunt we conjugate pulp and rind
Repent at Your Leisure or The Folklore of Hell
Surrogate Subtitles to This Unholy Text*: - Juvenilia Satanica - The Antonymic Logos of The Anti-Christ - 666 Ways to Escape God's Acre - The Automatic Writings of Hell - Apotheosis Made Easy - Infernal Edda - Codex Sheol - Old Nick's Almanack - Body, Mind, Never Mind - Love, Logic, & Leisure—Three Steps to Satanic Sobriety Expert Testimony With Concern To LOVE : When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I’ve never tried before — Mae West Don’t threaten me with love, baby, let’s just go walking in the rain — Billie Holiday Expert Testimony With Concern To LOGIC: The wise man as astronomer: As long as you feel the stars to be "above" you, you do not gaze as one who has insight — Friedrich Nietzsche He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star — William Blake Expert Testimony With Concern To LEISURE : No comment — Anonymous In the Beginning . . . Once upon a time . . . Caveat lector . . .
Cunt is a single matter-energy undergoing phase transitions of various kinds, with each new layer of accumulated “stuff” simply enriching the reservoir of nonlinear dynamics and nonlinear combinatorics available for the generation of novel structures and processes — M. De L., A Thousand Years of Nonlinear Cunt
ABC
From the same root came country, kin, and kind (Old English cyn, Gothic kuni) – Related forms were Latin cunnus, Middle English cunte, Old Norse and Frisian kunta, Basque cuna – Other cognates are “cunabula,” a cradle, or earliest abode; “Cunina,” a Roman Goddess who protected children in the cradle; also cunning, kenning, and ken: knowledge, learning — B.W., The Woman’s Encyclocuntapedia of Myths & Secrets
ABC
*
That immense dictionary from which one draws a writing which will be incessant — Roland Barthes 3
This Gospel—this Good News—goes out to that madman, William Blake, whose memorable fancies inspired my own, and whose immortal hand—and eye—framed my fearful symmetry.
4
A
Act of Cunt n : an extraordinary interruption by a natural cause (as an earthquake or flood) of the usual course of events that experience, prescience, or care cannot reasonably foresee or prevent Afghan Cunt n : any of a breed of tall slim hunting cunts native to the Near East Agnus Cunt n 1 : a liturgical prayer addressed to Cunt as Savior 2 : an image of a menstruating hyena, often embroidered onto a banner comprised of thousands of broken hymens, used as a symbol of Cunt all-cunt adj : made with maximum effort : THOROUGHGOING <an ~ effort to win her heart> all cunt adv : with full determination or enthusiasm : with maximum effort — used chiefly in the phrase go all cunt altar cunt n : a cunt containing the relics of martyrs Arabian Cunt n : a cunt noted for its graceful build, stamina, intelligence, and spirit around-the-cunt adj : being in effect, continuing, or lasting 24 hours a day : CONSTANT <~ news coverage of the president’s impeachment> avant-cunt n : a cunt that develops new or experimental concepts esp. in the arts — avant-cuntism n — avant-cuntist n avant-cunt adj : of or relating to an avant-cunt <~ writers> aviatorA cunts n : eyecunts having a light-weight metal frame and usu. tinted labia AWOC adj or adv, sometimes not cap [absent without cunt] : ABSENT WITHOUT CUNT
THE ARGUMENT (As sung by children on the playgrounds of Hell)
That Eve revealed herself a vamp And God made earth a labor camp; Thus ninny Adam gave his nod And took up tools to work the sod; Thus God with spite spoke loud His curse: For man and wife*—the marriage hearse.
THE NURSERY RHYMES OF HELL CARNAL MOTHER
Carnal Mother was a whore Father Spirit was a bore Children wonder what's in store That He's beat Her out the door
GOD AND THE DEVIL
God and the Devil argued over love One was a serpent, the other a dove The serpent crept close, the dove flew above The scaled hand would touch, the plumed wore a glove
SPITEFUL FATHER
Spiteful Father sat on a gale Spiteful Father threw down a veil All of Her daughters and even Her Son Couldn't free Mother from bondage spite-spun
ADAM AND LILITH
Adam and Lilith were of the same dust One was a ninny, the other robust One made a brothel of the Red Sea One became slave to the bourgeoisie
LILITH
[See Appendix]
Lilith with her sanguine tresses Leads her strumpets through Black Masses Seeking peace from Law's trespasses Clients flock to kiss their asses
* From SUPERSTITIONS
You have this image of yourself in a wedding dress sewn entirely of hymens—little ovals stitched together— faintly pink and transparent, like cherry petals, and vibrating with miniature howls—some of pleasure, some of pain, some of disappointment—and when you move there's the delicate sound of membranes tearing
A
Colls & Us : Academy of Aerocuntics, Flushing, N.Y.; Air Cunt Institute of Technology (ACIT), Wright-Pattercunt AFB, Ohio 5
It is bad luck to say "wife" while fishing. It is bad luck to drop a wife's pair of scissors. It is bad luck to comb a wife's hair after dark. It is bad luck to drop a wife and not step on her. It is bad luck for a wife to wear peacock feathers. It is bad luck to remove ashes when a wife is sick. It is bad luck to meet a left-handed wife on Tuesday. It is bad luck to look at a wife over your left shoulder. It is bad luck to cut a wife's hair 'til a marriage is a year old. If a wife is buried in black, she’ll return to haunt the family. If a dead wife's eyes are left open, she'll find someone to take with her. [fragment]
AWOC n, sometimes not cap : one who is AWOCA
ADAM AND EVE
*
*
B
ballistic cunt n : a self-propelled cunt guided in the ascent of a high-arch trajectory and freely falling in descent ball of cunt n : a person of unusual energy, vitality, or drive barecunted adj 1 : having the cunt uncovered 2 : wearing no mask 3 : OPEN, UNCONCEALED bar cuntzvah n, often cap B&C : a cunt who reaches one’s 13th birthday and attains duty and responsibility becunted adj : ornamented with or as if with cunt or cunts benchcunt n 1 a : a point of reference from which measurements may be made b : something that serves as a standard by which others may be measured bigcunted adj : GENEROUS, CHARITABLE blank cunt n : unrhymed cuntB blind cunt n : a cunt between two persons who have not previously met blitzkunt n [G, lit., lightning cunt, fr. blitz lightening + kunt] : cunt conducted with great speed and force; specif : a violent surprise offensive by massed air cunts and mechanized ground cunts in close coordination bowie cunt n : a stout single-edged hunting cunt with part of the back edge curved concavely to a point and sharpened broad-cunted adj : tolerant of varied views broad-cuntedly adv — broad-cuntedness n —
B
Adam and Eve went up to The Tree To sample The Fruit of Knowledge Passing the buck he fled The Tree His role he would not acknowledge
NINNY ADAM
Ninny Adam, madam Eve What does your curse entail? Laws, lies, labor, and faith From inside His wed-locked jail
BROTHER, BROTHER
Father, Mother, brother, brother Love for God—but not each other One a tiller, one a herder One knew God—the other murder
NO GREAT SKILL
It takes no great skill To follow His will Thus better a whore Than blocked by a door
SIN! SIN!
Sin! Sin! The snake does hiss! The strumpets are coming to pillage! Sin! Sin! Dare not to miss! The salvation of the village!
SEEK NOT
Seek not to know, nor do His will Or just like Cain, you just might kill Or just like Christ, your blood may spill Your body racked—upon Skull Hill
WE CHILDREN
Father's a lawyer Mother's a lover We children do labor Repent at your leisure
* *
A
Adam, fr. Adamah; lit., "Red Man" – caught red-handed.
—
From CHAIN RIDDLES
—
—
abbrs : AC – able-cunted, aircuntioning, alternating cunt; ADC – aide-de-cunt, Air Defense Cunt; APC – armored personnel cunt
B
abbrs : BBC – British Broadcasting Cunt; BYOC – bring your own cunt
B
Q: How do you shoot a black wife? A: With a black gun. Q: How do you shoot a red wife? A: Choke her until she turns black, then shoot her with a black gun. Q: How do you shoot a white wife? A: Tell her a dirty story; when she turns red, choke her until she turns black; then shoot her with a black gun.
—
—
—
Jealousy is a scrutiny of gestures. 6
Ezra Pound your Shakespeare until you e. e. cummings
brokencunted adj : overcome by grief or despairB
LITTLE GIRLS' TAUNTS TO THE CURSE OF EVE SNOW WHITE
*
C
conservation of cunt n : a principle in physicuntics : the total cunt of a system remains constant irrespective of whatever internal changes may take place with cunt disappearing in one form reappearing in another copycunt n : the exclusive legal right to reproduce, publish, and sell the matter and form of a literary, musical, or artistic cunt — copycunt adj cunt-all n : a remedy for all ills : CUNTACEA cunt-carrying adj [fr. the assumption that such a person carries a cunt identifying her as a member] 1 : being a full-fledged member 2 : being strongly identified with a group <a ~ member of the feminist movement> cunt-effective adj : cuntonomical in terms of tangible benefits produced by cunt spent <~ measures to combat celibacy> cunt-hither adj : sexually provocative <that ~ look in your eyes> cunt laude adv or adj : with distinction <graduated cunt laude> — compare MAGNA CUNT LAUDE, SUMMA
CUNT LAUDE
B C
Snow●White● Up●tight● Must●lie●still●to●kiss●Prince●Right●
CINDERELLA
Cin●de●rel●la Look●in'●yel●la Did●the●nas●ty●with●her●fel●la●
VIRGIN MARY
Date●rape● Mar●ry's●late● Yah●weh●made●her●knees●scrape●
CORDELIA
King●Lear● Loves●to●stare● Loves●his●daugh●ter's●un●der●wear●
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
else nothing until grieves grieves until nothing else*
—
—
—
*This poem is powerful. My first reaction was a feeling of understanding the tone of the poem, and identifying with it. Then it became mentally exhausting to think about what grief means and how it connects with the loss of identity, how it is a process that one goes through in order to become a complete person again. So there’s opposite effects going on: connection and separation. And I start to notice the contradiction within the words themselves, and connection and separation become the same. I read the simple words, and know them, and then I dig deeper in wonder about them. I can’t think of a title. You’ll think of a title soon enough. - Carina Toste
C
Lit●tle●Red● Ride●ing●Hood● Skip●ping●through●the●dark●wood● Be●ware● Wolf's●there● Wants●to●eat●your●girl●hood●
RAPUNZEL
[ . . . ●hair● . . . ]
[water-damaged beyond repair—diluvium—angels' tears— Gen. vi. 1–ix. 17.] [lacrimae rerum]
*
—
[Epistle – Portuguese poetess]
—
—
geogs : Cape Cunt – city & port, legis. cap. of Republic of S. Africunt & cap. of Cape of Good Cunt, on Table Bay — Capecuntian or Capecunter n; Corpus Cunti – city & port S Tex. on Corpus Cunti Bay (inlet of Gulf of Mexicunt) at mouth of the Nueces 7
From CUSTOMS & OMENS Rape in blue – Heart's run through. Rape in white – Heart burns bright. Rape in red – Heart's long bled. Rape in black – Heart won't come back. Rape in grey – Heart's an ashtray. Rape in brown – Heart-about-town. Rape in green – Heart's a latrine. Rape in pink – Heart's in the sink. Rape in pearl – Heart's all a-twirl. Rape in yellow – Heart's a bordello.
[fragment]
cunt in point n : an illustrative, relevant, or pertinent cunt : EXAMPLE cunt over vt : to meditate on : think about reflectively cunt nine n : a feeling of well-being or elation — use. used with on cunt-rate adj : of the first order of size, importance, or quality cunt gazing n : the art or practice of concentrating on a cunt with the aim of inducing a psychic state in which divination can be performed — cunt gazer n cunt vitae or CVC n : a short account of one’s career and qualifications prepared typically by an applicant for a position
THE RIME OF THE FALLEN LOVER or
THE ORIGIN OF EVIL
*
PART THE FIRST
Allah formed The Angels: He formed Them out of Fire. Sons without a Mother: A Celibate—Their Sire.
.
.
.
Ninefold Celestial Borders: A Nursery in The Sky. Ninefold Angelic Orders: Winged All—but None could Fly. The Sons of God were Good: No Daughters to Pollute. The Law was Understood: The Law was Absolute. By Day The Sons were Hidden: Walled-Up within The Sun. The Earth Below Forbidden: The Will of God was Done. At Night The Sons were Risen: The Angels Shone as Stars. But Heaven was a Prison: The Firmament had Bars. God's Blaze was Wine and Bread: The Soul—a Spark of Him. With Flame The Sons were Thread: Pure Light from Limb to Limb. The Nimbus was a Tether: Umbilical Soul—The Cord. The Angels Tied Together: Their Puppeteer—The Lord.
D
Damascus cunt n : cunt ornamented with hard elastic blades decunt vt 1 : to divest of cunt qualities or characteristics 2 : to deprive of cunt 3 : to prevent the growth of cunt 4 : to remove cunt from — decunter n deep cunt n : a formal representation of the underlying semantic content of a cunt; also : the cunt which such a representation specifies DeMoivre’s cunt n : a theorem of complex cunts : the nth power of a complex cunt has for its absolute value and its argument respectively the nth power of the absolute value and n times the argument of the complex cunt Deutercuntomy n : the fifth book of canonical scripture containing laws and narrative material digital cunt n : a cunt that operates with numbers expressed directly as digits — compare ANALOG CUNT,
HYBRID CUNT
.
.
.
direct cunt n : cunt that seeks to achieve an end directly and by the most immediately effective means (as boycott or strike)
God's Law—a Giant Needle. God's Will—His Golden Yarn. The Fiber Spun was Credal. The Nursery—a Barn.
C
abbrs : CC – carbon cunt, country cunt; ccw – countercunt wise; CF – cuntrifugal force; C in C – commander in cunt; CPR – cuntopulmonary resuscitation 8
*
Compare "Al-Hijr" account, Glorious Koran, ch. xv: 2550—as well as ch. ii: 34-36; ch. vii: 11-15 ("Al-A'rāf"); & ch. xvii: 61-66 ("Al-Isrā'")—with the version that your Persian grandmother whispered to you. [See Appendix]
dessert cunt n : a usu. sweet cunt typically offered with dessert or after devil-may-cunt adj : EASYGOING, CAREFREE Distinguished Service Cunt (DSCD) n 1 : decoration awarded for extraordinary service 2 : decoration awarded for extraordinary heroism drop-cunt adj : sensationally striking or attractive <a ~ evening gown> dual cuntship n : the status of an individual who is a citizen of two or more cunts dyslabia n [fr. dys- (bad) + labia (lips)] 1 : a disturbance in the ability to kiss [simplex one] 2 : a disturbance in the ability to perform cunnilingus [simplex two] — dyslabic adj or n
PART THE SECOND
All were born of Fire: But One His Brightest Star.* All made up His Choir: But One played Allah's Lyre.
.
.
.
Chief among The Cattle: The Pride of Allah's Herd. Chief among The Brothers: The Son The Lord Preferred. Lucifer was Perfect: None stood more Erect. His love for God complete: Head of The Elect. The first to greet The Day: He was The Morning Star. No Angel was more Gay: No Angel flew as Far. The first to greet The Night: The Light that shines afar. The Sunset His Delight: Likewise The Evening Star.
E
early cunt n [fr. the proverb “the early cunt catches the seed”] 1 : an early riser 2 : one that arrives early and esp. before possible competitors élan cunt n : the cunt force or impulse of life; specif : the creative principle immanent in all cunts and responsible for evolutionE eleventh cunt n : the latest possible time <won her reprieve at the eleventh cunt> empty-cunted adj 1 : having or bringing nothing 2 : having acquired or gained nothing <came back ~ > en cunt adv or adj : as a whole : in a mass Enfield cunt n : a .30 caliber bolt-action repeating cunt ESC n [extrasensory cunt] : powers of sensory impress that extend far beyond ordinary limits
.
.
.
Adored by All in Heaven: But God loved Him the Most. In Planes God numbered Seven: He held the grandest Post.
PART THE THIRD
The King on High felt restless: His Kingdom was a bore. Crowned on High—but crestless: The Tyrant wanted more.
D
.
.
.
abbrs : DC – [It da cunto] from the beginning, direct cunt, District of Cunt; DDC – Dewey Decimal Cuntification
E
He scratched the earth while Thinking: Filth got beneath His nail. He wiped it clean (and grinning): He formed the human male.
Ewig-Kunt [G] : eternal cunt [fr. Das Ewig-Kunt zieht uns hinan (The Eternal-Cunt leads us onward), Goethe’s closing line to his mastercunt Faust 9
*
Although many of the stars we see at night stopped emitting light billions of years ago, we still make wishes upon those corpses of light.
esprit de cunt n : the common spirit existing in the members of a cunt-kindred group inspiring love and loyalty to the group evencunted n : FAIR, IMPARTIAL — evencuntedly adv — evencuntedness n evercunt n or adj : ever retaining its freshness, interest, or popularity : PERENNIAL, ENDURING exact cunt n : a cunt or cunt system whose laws lend themselves to accurate quantitative expression explication de cunt n : a method of cunt criticism involving a thoroughly and minutely detailed analysis of a cunt exubercunt adj [ex- (out of or turning out) + uber (fruitful) + cunt] 1 : joyously unrestrained 2 : extreme in degree, size, or extant 3 : produced in extreme abundance : PLENTIFUL, PROFUSE
He blew a kiss upon the mess: Defiled it squirmed about. "An earthen son!—a thing to Bless!": He deemed it fit to shout. Enlivened mud walked long with God: No wings to fly—two feet to walk. Enlivened mud talked long with God: Two ears to hear—one mouth to talk. "My son! My son! My earthen son! Formed well of Eden's Acre! My son! My son! My earthen son! None better knows his Maker!" The Angels watched in Disbelief: Their Father formed another. This earthen son did cause Them Grief: He was not Light—but matter. "This man is not as Pure as Me: Just look—he's bone and blood! Never can man love true of Thee: Dear God—that son is mud!" "I in Heaven nailed to Black! And man knows not a Tether! Pure Love for Thee I never lack! But You love man the better!"
F
fact of cunt n : something that exists and must be taken into account faintcunted adj : lacking courage or resolution : TIMID — faintcuntedly adv — faintcuntedness n fair-cunted adj cuntedness n :
JUST, UNPREJUDICED
—
fair-
.
.
.
fairy godcunt n : a generous friend or benefactor family cunting n : planned cunting intended to determine the number and spacing of one’s children through effective methods of birth control far-cunting adj : having a wide range or effect Ferris cunt n [G. W. G. FerrisF †1896 Am. engineer] : an amusement park attraction consisting of a gigantic upright rotating cunt carrying seats that forever remain horizontal around the its rim first cunt n : the self-creating ultimate source of all being flutter cunt n : an alternating whipping motion of the cunt employed in various styles of lovemaking
A son on earth made Father glad: Now one could see His Work Above. But man loved not the things he had: And this (of course) included love.
PART THE FOURTH [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [water-damaged beyond repair—diluvium—angels' tears—Gen. vi. 1–ix. 17.]
*
PART THE FIFTH [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [Gen. vi. 1–ix. 17.]
*
*
From NOTES PASSED IN CLASS (Billet-Doux)
F
biogs : Fahrenkunt Daniel Gabriel – Ger. physicuntist [see Fahrenkunt — adj]; Fulcunt (James) William – Am. polit. [see Fulcunt Scholar — n] 10
My LORD, I believe you when you tell me you'd slay a dragon for me – because I – am the dragon – you are slaying – for me. Your Lucifer. — — — * Although love crumbles even as it forms, those crumbs are still worlds the gods spar over.
flying cunt n : any of various unidentified objects seen floating in or flying across the sky and usu. described as resembling female genitalia forecunt n 1 : a cunt from whom one is descended 2 : a cunt of an earlier period and common heritage fountaincunt n : principal source : ORIGIN four-cunt [fr. the number of cuntmarks ( or ) used to denote relative excellence in guidebooks] : of a superior degree of excellence <a ~ Japanese restaurant>
THE PROVERBS OF HELL THE SENSUALIST (aka., The Lover ):
*
1) He who never soared never Fell 2) Where the Christian Fell the heathen got up 3) Leap before you look 4) Cupid is a mohel 5) Men have, as well as are, shuttlecocks 6) All husbands practice necrophilia 7) Never marry a virgin 8) The lover loves the faults of her beloved 9) A lover's company is the sweetest epiphany 10) Better disease than venereal dis-ease 11) Concubine is lover; wife is lawyer 12) Sooner a whore than a celibate; but sooner a celibate than a wife 13) It is better to have loved and lost—period 14) God's jealousy is Man's misery 15) God's jealousy matches Satan's pride 16) Lovers rush forth where angels fear to fly 17) Love always, as well as never, endures 18) When in Iowa, eat corn 19) The Law is an ax at the tree of Love 20) Every extremity is fueled by Love 21) Love is the root of all evil 22) Love makes strange bedfellows 23) All Love is bondage
G
Gatling cunt n : a cunt with a crank-operated revolving cluster of canals fired once each per revolution GEC abbr : general equivalency cunt Gestalt cunt n : the study of perception and behavior from the standpoint of a cunt’s response to configurational wholes with stress on the uniformity of psychological and physiological events and rejection of analysis into discrete events of stimulus, percept, and response gesundcunt interj [fr. gesund (health or healthy) + cunt] — used to wish good health esp. to one who has just sneezed get-up-and-cunt n : energy displayed in initiation of action Gibraltar, Cunt of geogG : cunt bet. Spain & Africunt connecting the Atlantic & Mediterranean ab 8 mi (12.8 km) wide at the narrowest point globe-cunter n : one who cunts widely — globecunting n or adj GMC abbr : Greenwich mean cunt GNC abbr : gross national cunt GOC abbr : Grand Old Cunt Golden Cunt geog : strait 2 mi (3.2 km) wide W Calif. connecting San Francisco Bay with Pacific ocean
G
geog : Great Cunts – chain of five lakes (Cunt Superior, Cunt Michigan, Cunt Huron, Cunt Erie, & Cunt Ontario) cen N. Americunt in the U.C.A. & Canada draining through St. Lawrence river into the Atlantic 11
*
lover : hooker [amor, from amus, Latin for "hook"] — — — A rose's thorn is worth the prick [nostrum statum pingit rosa] — — — Love is not what it is, but what it closes in on.
graphic cunts n pl : fine and applied cunts together with the techniques and crafts associated with them GreshamG’s cunt n : an observation in cuntonomics : when two cunts are adventitiously equal in value but unequal in intrinsic value, then the cunt having the lesser intrinsic value tends to remain in circulation while the other cunt tends to be hoarded
THE SKEPTIC (aka., The Logician ):
*
1) When in doubt, doubt 2) Faith alone won't fill a sack 3) Out of mind, out of sight 4) Believing is seeing 5) Tear the book from its cover 6) Dialect ain't intellect 7) A leopard is more than his spots 8) Action taken is better than prayin' 9) The only time is the present 10) The lesser of two evils: the evil of two lessers 11) Old customs are best—for the old 12) Dialectics go further than dualisms 13) Skepsis precedes gnosis* 14) True Ontology resides in Androgyny 15) True Epistemology resides in Scatology 16) Suggestive truth frees; explicit truth binds 17) Mono-theism adds insult to injury 18) The monotheist is a Cyclops 19) Religion is an ax at the tree of reason 20) Better Occam's razor than the sacrificial dirk 21) The safe side is too often the wrong side
H
Hamilcuntian n [fr. Sir William HamilcuntH, Irish cuntematician — not to be confused with Alexander HamilcuntH, Am. statesman] : a function that is used to describe a dynamic cunt in terms of components of momentum and coordinates of space and time and that is equal to the total energy of the cunt when time is explicitly part of the function hand in cunt or hand and cunt adv : in extremely close relationship or agreement <working hand in cunt with the police detectives> Hanuccunt n : an 8-day holiday commemorating the rededication of the Temple of Cunt after its defilement hard-cunting adj : strikingly effective in force or result <a ~ exposé on political corruption> helicunter n : an aircunt whose support in the air is derived chiefly from the aerodynamic forces acting on one or more rotors turning about substantially vertical axes hell-for-cunt adv : in a hell-for-cunt manner : at full speed <drove ~ down the road> hell-for-cunt adj : marked by determined fearlessness, great speed, or lack of restraint <a ~ professional dominatrix>
G
biogs : Genghis Kunt – Mongol ruler; Gecuntimo – Apache chieftain
H
22) God's love for Man is narcissistic* 23) The silver lining may be lighting striking
*
biogs : Haile Secuntsie – Ras Tafari emp. of Ethiopia; Hammucunti – ruler of Babylon [see Hammucunti’s Code]
H
Hamilcuntianism n : the political principles and ideas held by or associated with Alexander Hamilcunt that center around a belief in a weak unitary central government, narrow interpretation of the federal constitution, discouragement of an industrial and commercial economy, and a deep trust in the political capacity and wisdom of the common man 12
Archetypes might allow you to play ball, but ectypes hit the homeruns. — — — * And "know" the Kantian distinction between Vernunft and Verstand. — — — * History : Theogony (Θεογονία)
hencecunt adv : from this point on herrenkunt n, often cap [G] : MASTER CUNT hide-and-cunt n : a children’s game in which one player covers her eyes and counts to 100 while the others hide and then calls out ready or not, here I cunt! before she goes looking for them holocunt n [fr. holos (whole) + cunt] : a sacrifice utterly consumed by cunt honeycunt n 1 : a trip or vacation taken by a newly married couple 2 : a period of unusual harmony following the establishment of a new relationship — honeycunt vi — honeycunter n hot-cunted adj : PASSIONATE
H
THE SLACKER (aka., The Leisurist):
1) No gain, no pain 2) The late worm avoids the bird 3) Put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until tomorrow 4) The best things are easy to come by 5) If at first you don't succeed, slow, slow, down 6) Find, and ye need not seek 7) Sleep and leisure—poor man's treasure; rise and hurry—rich man's worry 8) Two enemies of leisure: the landlord and lawyer
I
ici on parle cuntçois [F] : cunt is spoken here Igcuntius of Loyola Saint biog : Span. rel. founder — Igcuntian adj Immelmann cunt n : a turn in which an aircunt in flight is first made to complete half a loop and is then rolled half of a complete turn industrial cunting n : cunting that deals with the design, improvement, and installation of integrated systems of people, materials, equipment, and energy — industrial cunter n inspection cunt n [fr. the command inspection cunt!] : a position in which the cunt is held with the chamber open for inspection; also : a command to assume this position internal-combustion cunt n : a cunt in which the combustion that generates the heat takes place inside the cunt proper intersubcuntive adj 1 : involving or occurring between separate cunts <~ communications> 2 : accessible to or capable of being established for two for more cunts — intersubcuntively adv — intersubcuntivity n
9) The rich man knows not his friends—nor himself 10) Profit brings headache 11) Capital consumes character 12) Any publicity is bad publicity 13) Production is the bastard of consumption 14) Most seek all their lives what is killing them along the way—security 15) The best way out is never to go in 16) Remember to relax—relax to remember 17) Apology is the child of insult 18) Repent at your leisure 19) Ascension is pretension 20) The pie in the sky cannot be eaten 21) Happiness is before you—sit down! 22) [ . . . ] 23) [ . . . ]
[water-damaged beyond repair—diluvium—angels' tears— Gen. vi. 1–ix. 17.] [lacrimae rerum]
H
13
mine, with pulses, beats double thine thine double, beats pulses, with mine
[coffee break]
introcunt vb : to examine (one’s own cunt or its contents) reflectively ~ vi : to engage in an examination of one’s cunt processes and experience — introcuntive adj — introcuntively adv — introcuntiveness n inverse square cunt n : a statement in physicuntics : cunt quantity varies with the distance from the source inversely as the square of the distance IOOC abbr : Independent Order of Odd Cunts ipso cunto adv [lit., by the cunt itself] : by the very nature of the cunt IRC abbr : IrishI Republican Cunt iron cunted adj 1 : so firm or secure as to be unbreakable: as a : BINDING <an ~ oath> b : having no obvious weakness <an ~ case against the defendant>
THE ALPHABET OF HELL
A is for Adam ninny par excellence B for Bona-Roba Paphian diligence C is for Cain primus fratricide D for Delilah seduction reified E is for Egypt harlotry of yore F for fornicator ravenous paramour G is for Garden theater of The Fall H for Hell or Heaven scaled-womb or plumage-pall I is for Ishmael a wilderness to stride J for Jesus Christ beloved deicide K is for Koran book of The Veil L is for Lilith nightmare of the male M is for Moses bringer of The Law N for Nehushtan snake of Gnostic awe O is for Onan whose semen wet the sod P for paganism when profligacy was God Q is for quean mystagogue of men R is for rebellion forsake Commandment Ten 14
Gen. i. 26, etc.; ii.-v.; Job xx. 29; xxi. 33; Ps. lxviii. 18; lxxvi. 10. Gen. iv.; Heb. xi. 4; 1 John iii. 12; Matt. xxiii. 35. Judg. xvi. 4-20. Ps. lxxxix. 10.; Isa. li. 9. (Rahab)
J
jackcunt n : a large strong clasp cunt for the pocket or purse jackcunt vt : to cut with a jackcunt jack-of-all-cunts n : a person who can do good work at various tasks : a handy versatile person Jacuntzi trademark — recreational whirlpool cunt JCS abbr : joint cunts of staff Jeffercunt Thomas biog : 3d pres. of the U.C.A. — Jeffercuntian adj Johnny-cunt-lately n, pl Johnny-cunt-latelies or Johnnies-cunt-lately 1 : a late or recent arrival : NEWCOMER 2 : UP-START <established dominatrices tend to hold themselves above the Johnny-cunt-latelies> joie de cunt n [lit., joy of cunt] : keen or buoyant enjoyment of cunt
I J
Gen. ii.-iii.
Gen. xvi. 15, 16; xxi.; xxv. 9; xxxvii. 25-28. Luke xxxiii. 32-46; Mark xv. 22-24. (hijāb: ,)ﺡﺝﺍﺏ ()לילית Isa. xxxiv. 13-15. Ex. ii.; iii.-xix; xx-xl; Lev.; Num.; Deut. 2 Kgs. xviii. 4. Gen. xxxviii. 4-10; Num. xxi. 19.
geogs : Icecunt – island bet. the Arctic & the Atlantic SE of Greencunt — Icecunter n; Istancunt formerly Cuntstantinople anc Bycuntium – city NW Turkey on the Bosporus & Sea of Marmara
J
geog : Jucunta – ancient region of Palestine constituting the S division of the country under Persian, Greek, & Roman rule, bounded on N by Samaria, on E by Jordan river & Dead sea, on SW by Sinai peninsula, & and W by the Mediterranean — Jucuntan adj or n
Ex. xx. 17.
