Domestic Violence
Content
Domestic Violence
Wake up! Things are not okay and you are not imagining it - you are being abused and abuse is not something that you need to take. Domestic violence (also known as domestic abuse or spousal abuse) occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner attempts to physically or psychologically violate another. It occurs across cultures, races, ethnicities, religions, sexes and socio-economic classes.
Domestic violence is perpetrated by both men and women. Though abuse happens to men and to same-sex partners, domestic violence usually involves men abusing their female partners and a large number of women suffer abuse from their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or intimate partners. No one, for any reason, deserves to be abused; but without help, abuse will continue and is likely to worsen. Many resources are available to help you understand your options and to support you. Forms of Domestic Violence Domestic violence has many forms, including physical violence, sexual, emotional and/or psychological violence. The latter may include intimidation, harassment, damage to property, threats, and financial abuse. Physical and sexual abuse can fall in the category of crime. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviours, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence. • • • Physical abuse ranges from hitting, kicking, biting, slapping, pulling hair, or anything that leads to physical injury or harm to the victim. Sexual Abuse includes sexual violence or sexual coercion, even if it is between a married couple. Emotional/Psychological Abuse (also called psychological abuse) can include humiliation, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, withholding information, doing things to embarrass the victim, isolating from friends and family, and denying access to money (economic abuse) or other basic resources.
Cycle of Abuse Often abuse occurs in a cyclical fashion, including the following elements: Abuse -> Guilt -> Excuses -> Normal behaviour -> Fantasy -> Set-up -> Abuse again • • • • Abuse - The abuser shows aggressive behaviour - trying to show the victim "who is boss" or "who is in control." Guilt- He then goes through guilt and remorse for his actions. Rationalization or excuses - The next step is when he tries to justify himself through excuses or shifts the blame from himself to the victim. Normal behaviour - The abuser tries to set things right leading the victim to feel hopeful about a better future.
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Fantasy and planning - The abuser begins to think through a plan on how to abuse his victim again. Set-up - The abuser sets up the victim and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing her.
Are You Being Abused? Identifying abuse can be quite tricky, as it starts off very subtly and then slowly gets more and more threatening. It can be difficult to recognize the sign, or you may look at them as his expression of love. To determine whether you are being abused, read "Are you in an abusive relationship?" Effects of Abuse Abuse can leave you confused and wondering if you are to blame. It leads to a low self-worth and self esteem, leaving you with very little energy and will power to take get back in control and rectify or escape the situation. You are also living under the fear and shadow of the abuser.
Victim often engage in what is known as "enabling behaviour" in order to feel needed and wanted. This includes behaviours that support or protect the abuser, like taking care of the abuser physically and emotionally, intervening on behalf of the abusive partner, putting up a front to the outside world showing all is well, and so on. Children in witnessing these relationships will get affected. They may get physically hurt, emotionally confused, and become upset.
Protection through Law The Indian Prevention of Domestic Violence Act, 2005, is a law that offers protection to women abused by their partners.
• • • Under this law, you can obtain protection from husbands and partners by citing emotional, physical, or economic abuse. The primary users of this law have been married women. Though widows and daughters have also been granted relief under this law. The most commonly granted relief is for maintenance. Residence orders and protection orders are other benefits.
The protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act can be downloaded from here:http://wcd.nic.in/domesticviolenceact05.pdf If you are a victim of domestic violence, you have a choice to make your life better? so make the choice and make life better. For more information go to support centers for battered women.
Positive Steps for Coping with an Abusive Relationship • Be in touch with others, talk to others and seek 'reality checks' to figure out if you are actually being abused.
• • • •
Get to know of resources available for victims. Think of a 'safe place' to flee to if required. Read up on abuse and become aware of it. Reach out for support either through professional counselling or by sharing with a confidante and start forming a support system for yourself.
The most important thing is to look into the future and decide how you want it to be, instead of brooding about the past or blaming yourself. How to prepare for an emergency situation • • Arrange a safety signal with a neighbour as an alert if it becomes necessary to help you. Prepare an emergency bag in case you need to leave the place in a hurry, including some money, important documents, medication that you may be on, clothes and so on. Know which safe place you can go to and the way to get there. Don?t make calls from your home phone because the abuser could trace the calls to find out where you're going. Consider changing your mobile number to stop getting calls. Don?t give your number out to everyone. The abuser may be able to monitor your Internet activities and access your e-mail account. Always change passwords or get a new e-mail account. If the abuser has access to any of your bank accounts, inform the banks and revoke any privileges.
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Wake up! Things are not okay and you are not imagining it - you are being abused and abuse is not something that you need to take. Domestic violence (also known as domestic abuse or spousal abuse) occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner attempts to physically or psychologically violate another. It occurs across cultures, races, ethnicities, religions, sexes and socio-economic classes.
Domestic violence is perpetrated by both men and women. Though abuse happens to men and to same-sex partners, domestic violence usually involves men abusing their female partners and a large number of women suffer abuse from their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or intimate partners. No one, for any reason, deserves to be abused; but without help, abuse will continue and is likely to worsen. Many resources are available to help you understand your options and to support you. Forms of Domestic Violence Domestic violence has many forms, including physical violence, sexual, emotional and/or psychological violence. The latter may include intimidation, harassment, damage to property, threats, and financial abuse. Physical and sexual abuse can fall in the category of crime. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviours, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence. • • • Physical abuse ranges from hitting, kicking, biting, slapping, pulling hair, or anything that leads to physical injury or harm to the victim. Sexual Abuse includes sexual violence or sexual coercion, even if it is between a married couple. Emotional/Psychological Abuse (also called psychological abuse) can include humiliation, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, withholding information, doing things to embarrass the victim, isolating from friends and family, and denying access to money (economic abuse) or other basic resources.
Cycle of Abuse Often abuse occurs in a cyclical fashion, including the following elements: Abuse -> Guilt -> Excuses -> Normal behaviour -> Fantasy -> Set-up -> Abuse again • • • • Abuse - The abuser shows aggressive behaviour - trying to show the victim "who is boss" or "who is in control." Guilt- He then goes through guilt and remorse for his actions. Rationalization or excuses - The next step is when he tries to justify himself through excuses or shifts the blame from himself to the victim. Normal behaviour - The abuser tries to set things right leading the victim to feel hopeful about a better future.
• •
Fantasy and planning - The abuser begins to think through a plan on how to abuse his victim again. Set-up - The abuser sets up the victim and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing her.
Are You Being Abused? Identifying abuse can be quite tricky, as it starts off very subtly and then slowly gets more and more threatening. It can be difficult to recognize the sign, or you may look at them as his expression of love. To determine whether you are being abused, read "Are you in an abusive relationship?" Effects of Abuse Abuse can leave you confused and wondering if you are to blame. It leads to a low self-worth and self esteem, leaving you with very little energy and will power to take get back in control and rectify or escape the situation. You are also living under the fear and shadow of the abuser.
Victim often engage in what is known as "enabling behaviour" in order to feel needed and wanted. This includes behaviours that support or protect the abuser, like taking care of the abuser physically and emotionally, intervening on behalf of the abusive partner, putting up a front to the outside world showing all is well, and so on. Children in witnessing these relationships will get affected. They may get physically hurt, emotionally confused, and become upset.
Protection through Law The Indian Prevention of Domestic Violence Act, 2005, is a law that offers protection to women abused by their partners.
• • • Under this law, you can obtain protection from husbands and partners by citing emotional, physical, or economic abuse. The primary users of this law have been married women. Though widows and daughters have also been granted relief under this law. The most commonly granted relief is for maintenance. Residence orders and protection orders are other benefits.
The protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act can be downloaded from here:http://wcd.nic.in/domesticviolenceact05.pdf If you are a victim of domestic violence, you have a choice to make your life better? so make the choice and make life better. For more information go to support centers for battered women.
Positive Steps for Coping with an Abusive Relationship • Be in touch with others, talk to others and seek 'reality checks' to figure out if you are actually being abused.
• • • •
Get to know of resources available for victims. Think of a 'safe place' to flee to if required. Read up on abuse and become aware of it. Reach out for support either through professional counselling or by sharing with a confidante and start forming a support system for yourself.
The most important thing is to look into the future and decide how you want it to be, instead of brooding about the past or blaming yourself. How to prepare for an emergency situation • • Arrange a safety signal with a neighbour as an alert if it becomes necessary to help you. Prepare an emergency bag in case you need to leave the place in a hurry, including some money, important documents, medication that you may be on, clothes and so on. Know which safe place you can go to and the way to get there. Don?t make calls from your home phone because the abuser could trace the calls to find out where you're going. Consider changing your mobile number to stop getting calls. Don?t give your number out to everyone. The abuser may be able to monitor your Internet activities and access your e-mail account. Always change passwords or get a new e-mail account. If the abuser has access to any of your bank accounts, inform the banks and revoke any privileges.
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