Everything

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What are some of your unethical lifehacks? [NSFW] -A drug dealer in DC taught me to pick my nose if the police are staring at me. No one picks their nose if they think someone is watching them, so it's the ultimate way of being nonchalant. -The best liar convinces everyone he is a terrible liar -If you're hungry and it's between 6am-8am you can get free continental breakfast from pretty much any hotel you walk into. It helps if it's busy.- This is all part of a much bigger life-hack. Always pretend like you belong somewhere. Keep your head up, your back straight, and walk with purpose. If you look nervous or sketchy, people won't trust you. If you act confident, people will rarely question why you're somewhere you don't actually belong. -When lying, always include something slightly embarrassing, or something that makes you look bad, as part of your story. It's not only going to disarm their skepticism (admitting to something embarrassing gives an impression of humility), but even if they remain skeptical, they'll be left wondering why you would make something up that you'd rather keep secret if it were true. -when career hunting, flagging Craigslist posts as spam after applying, or taking down flyers for a position (like at a college campus). cuts down on the competition. -If you look like you know what you're doing, no one will bother you. To prove this in college, a friend and I walked into the student union holding a clipboard, walked straight over to a table, picked it up and walked out with it without anyone saying anything. What simple piece of advice, if followed, could potentially save most people a lot of money? -A cab ride is a lot cheaper than a DUI -Learn the difference between need and want -Don't get in credit card debt, especially store cards, I'm looking at you Wal-Mart. Some of these cards have interest rates of 18%!! -Buy cars in cash and live in smaller houses.

What's a story that you've heard that still gives you chills to this day? -Was talking to someone who was first on scene to the Virginia Tech massacre. He told me that although the sight of dead bodies was disturbing, what really stays with him was the sound of all the cell phones ringing from people trying to contact them. -In Berlin, after World War II, money was short, supplies were tight, and it seemed like everyone was hungry. At that time, people were telling the tale of a young woman who saw a blind man picking his way through a crowd. The two started to talk. The man asked her for a favor: could she deliver the letter to the address on the envelope? Well, it was on her way home, so she agreed. She started out to deliver the message, when she turned around to see if there was anything else the blind man needed. But she spotted him hurrying through the crowd without his smoked glasses or white cane. She was, naturally, suspicious, so she went to the police. When the police paid a visit to the address on the envelope, they made a gruesome discovery- three butchers had been harvesting human flesh and selling it to the starving people.

And what was in the envelope the man gave to the woman? A note, saying simply "This is the last one I am sending you today." -The story about the man who brought his dog sturgeon spearing. He was inside his shanty, baiting the large hole in the ice with peeled potatoes (they sink to the bottom and attract the fish). Anyway the man's dog jumps right in the spearing hole after the potatoes and the current takes him under the ice. The man is heartbroken and left helpless staring at the cold water, alone in his shanty. He exits his shanty and hears yelling and barking coming from another shanty about 40 yards away. The doors swing open and a young boy emerges with a wet dog in his arms. It is the man's dog. What's the most uplifting, warm, beautiful thing you can say to someone? -I'm glad I met you -You're incredibly beautiful, and that's the least interesting thing about you. -"I realize that I have a limited amount of time before I die, and yet when I'm with you, I feel like I am spending my time in the best way possible" -I am a better person having met you. -A professor once told me, "You are the type of guy every father hopes his daughter meets." As a man, there is no greater compliment. -I'm here with you now. Don't worry. -"you're really easy to talk to" -There was a group of probably middle-aged guys playing music in the subway one day - I love stopping by to listen and give money when I see people playing music, but I was in a rush that day, so I just smiled at them. One white-bearded guy said "You have a beautiful smile", but it was really loud so I couldn't hear him, only see him mouth it. For a moment, I felt as if time stopped and all the rushing people going this way or that just became a blur as this one moment of kind words was exchanged. This was a few years ago, but it stuck with me. Random acts/words of kindness are the best. -Said by a mentor or a parent, "I'm proud of you." So simple, but so validating. -Someone wrote on reddit about how he was riding on the bus and apparently looked so down, a random stranger noticed and when he walked out the old man said to him, "Whatever it is, don't let it beat you." I thought that random act of kidness was dead on awesome. I use that quote to those who could use it from time to time. -Are you okay? -I like you just the way you are. - Mr Rogers -"The world is a better place with you in it." -My Mother's last words to me

What is your golden rule? -Don't worry, take it easy. -Do it without saying you're doing it -Be kind to everyone!

-Half your age + 7 -The other guy is probably having a shitty day, so let it go if you can. -Don't fuck with people who prepare your food -Don't be a cunt -Don't go grocery shopping when you're hungry -whatever you do in life - leave it better than you found it -Be the person your dog thinks you are. (It's cheesy but I love it. I love my dog.) -Don't give up what you want most for what you want now. -Two: "Hope like an optimist, plan like a pessimist." - "Never stop learning - it keeps your mind young. Never stop dancing - it keeps your body young. Never stop loving - it keeps your spirit old." What is the nicest thing you've ever done that no one knows about? -I was day tripping to Vancouver from Seattle and stopped in for lunch at a little cafe. From my window I saw a young teenage girl out in the cold, squatted down in a closed up businesses doorway, holding a small bundle in her arms. She was panhandling, people were mostly walking by ignoring her. She looked just broken. I finished up my meal and went outside, went through my wallet and thought I'd give her $5 for some food. I got up to her and she was sobbing, she looked like she was 14-15. And that bundle in her arms was a baby wrapped up. I felt like I just got punched in the chest. She looked up putting on a game face and asked for any change, I asked her if she's like some lunch. Right next door was a small quick-Trip type grocery store, I got a can of formula for the baby (very young, maybe 2-3 months old.), and took her back to the cafe though I'd just eaten. She was very thankful, got a burger and just inhaled it. Got her some pie and ice cream. She opened up and we talked. She was 15, got pregnant, parents were angry and she was fighting with them. She ran away. She's been gone almost 1 full year. I asked her if she's like to go home and she got silent. I coaxed her, she said her parents wouldn't want her back. I coaxed further, she admitted she stole 5k in cash from her Dad. Turns out 5k doesn't last long at all and the streets are tough on a 15 year old. Very tough. She did want to go back, but she was afraid no one wanted her back after what she did. We talked more, I wanted her to use my phone to call home but she wouldn't. I told her I'd call and see if her folks wanted to talk to her, she hesitated and gave bad excuses but eventually agreed. She dialed the number and I took the phone, her Mom picked up and I said hello. Awkwardly introduced myself and said her daughter would like to speak to her, silence, and I heard crying. Gave the phone to the girl and she was just quiet listening to her Mom cry, and then said hello. And she cried. They talked, she gave the phone back to me, I talked to her Mom some more. I drove her down to the bus station and bought her a bus ticket home. Gave her $100 cash for incidentals, and some formula, diapers, wipes, snacks for the road.

Got to the bus, and she just cried saying thank you over and over. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and a hug, kissed her baby, and she got on the bus. I get a chistmas card every year from her. She's 21 now and in college. Her name is Makayla and her baby was Joe. I've never really told anyone about this. I just feel good knowing I did something good in this world. Maybe it'll make up for the things I've f-ed up. -What is the best quote you have ever seen, read, and or heard? -"Growing up is merely watching your heroes turn human right before your eyes." -“If you remember me, then I don't care if everyone else forgets.” ― Haruki Murakami -"The worst feeling is not being alone, it's being forgotten by someone you could not forget." -"Another flaw in the human character is that everyone wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance."-Kurt Vonnegut -"It is the mark of an educated mind, to entertain a thought without accepting it" – Aristotle -"There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing" -"Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." Red Forman -"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." -“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” -Edmund Burke -"Someone once said, 'Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgments.'" "That's rhetorical nonsense. Who said that?" "You did. Ten years from now." - 'If you do not see humour in the serious, and the serious in humour, you have understood neither'. -If you stop attacking, they stop defending. When they stop defending, they start attacking. So don't stop attacking No sugarcoating it. What are the worst things about growing old? Tell the young reddit fans just what's in store for them in their "golden years." Maybe it will add motivation to their youth. I'm not that bad yet, but physical ailments and pains hit you more often, harder, and stay with you longer. Time was, if I hurt myself (a sprain here and there) or got sick, it was just a matter of waiting a few days to heal. Nowadays even with medical assistance. it's weeks and weeks of aches and pain before something heals. (cuts and scrapes are ok, but muscles, joints, nerves take forever). It's hard to explain, but you slowly lose the illusion of invulnerability you had in your teens and twenties. Parts of you start hurting for no discernible reason. Doctors stop trying to treat or diagnose you and just say "well you're getting to that age".

Losing touch with friends as they get married, have kids, move away, build lives of their own. It gets harder and harder to just hang out. I live in NYC though, your mileage may vary in small towns. Most painful for some (and leading cause of mid-life crises) is the realization that every day your potential is shrinking. The more you live, the more you're locked into that life. One day you look at yourself and say "well, this is it. This is all I'll achieve and be this life." You can either come to terms with it in a healthy way or let it depress you, but it's a very different feeling from the sheer potential you feel when young. Sure, when you were young you knew on some level that your wildest dreams are a long shot, but they COULD happen. That hope dies bit by bit as you age. It's also depressing that the people being portrayed in TV, movies, etc as active and interesting become younger than you. When you were younger, it's easy to look at a character in fiction and aspire to be like them in the future. When you're older, you realize you'll never be that because it's already behind you. Sorry about the rambling, old age does that to you too. -For a long time the hardest thing was not being pretty anymore. I mean, I was still pretty, but I was no longer the youngest and prettiest in the room. I was no longer able to make a real entrance. People no longer said, "Who is that thin girl with the blue eyes and the short hair?" In my thirties I became just one of the moms. Then, groups of men stopped noticing me. First the ones in their twenties, then thirties, then forties, and as I bear down hard on sixty the group of men most liable to notice me are wearing WWII vet hats. I am dead serious about this. It's hard to watch your body change shape. Hands, arms, legs, all different than they were--never, never to return. That beautiful young girl has vanished from the face of the earth. Then my babies began to vanish. My boys, who longed for me to hold them, who snuggled next to me on the couch each night, went away. I felt relief. They were out with their friends, playing in a band, away at college, married. They have wrinkles, gray hair and 401K's. When I see them, they no longer sit next to me. I can no longer rub their hair, over and over; it just wouldn't feel right. But next, a miracle. I had a grandson and loved him with a passion I never even felt with my own children. People had told me to expect this, but I didn't understand until I saw him....then I understood. But now he is out in the world, at the park, with his friends, and he no longer snuggles with me, because he's ten. My joints hurt, my thumbs are quite arthritic, and I had an old lady fall this summer, shattering my arm. My mother is growing older and I know that she will grow truly old and ill and die someday. I know that for sure now. My career is stalled, but I do a very good job at what I do, and I find joy in my work and in my competence. You know how they say you lose brain cells as you age? What a myth. I grow more and more wise, I learn new things every day, and one of my biggest fears is that I will die before I've read all of the books I want to read. But as I grow more wise, people want to hear what I say less and less. So I'm sitting back,

taking it all in, letting the great world spin. -Acquire a habit for regular exercise NOW. I don't care who you are, your body WILL break down if you don't use it. -Your parents will die. Regardless of how you feel about it, it will happen. -Wear Sunscreen... If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are

everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen -Best in your class? Nobody cares. It means shit. You'll compete with the entire world, and there are millions of classes out there. Have potential? Nobody cares. It means shit. You will be forced to present your accomplishments. Make sure you have proof. Remember what it feels like not to be in pain? Remember what it feels like to notice every time you cut yourself? You won't.

In part, perhaps, because... You'll lose parts of your mind. There's a long list of things that will damage all that makes you, you. It'll start long before you think it will... Don't expect the world to care. Your tragedies? People will care more if you're young. When you're older, more people will think losing you improves the planet... -Mostly it's pretty good (I'm 62) Advice?; Save some damn money, take 10 or more % out of every check, every one and put it aside. You wont miss it and will be glad to have it later. Avoid hard labor and too intensive sports, your joints will wear out. Be just a little choosy in sex partners, ask for what you want. Forgive yourself and enjoy life and your "Golden Years" will be better. What's the best advice you've gotten from your dad? -Usually, people who demand the most respect, deserve it the least. -1) Surround yourself with people smarter and wiser than you. 2) When you get in trouble or need help, refer to rule 1. -Even if you win the fight, you'll probably get punched in the face. And that sucks. -In regards to the friends I choose: "if you hang out around shit long enough, you'll start to smell like it". -"Whenever you feel down, take a bath. Shave. Put on your best clothes. And just. Be. Happy. You're pretending, of course, but that's the point. Pretend that you feel good. Act like you're on top of the situation. And you know what? Eventually you will be. It's all in your head, son." -What ifs hurt more than shouldn't haves -"Do the right thing, not the easy thing." -"Don't give up what you want most for what you want now" -If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough. -The only reason anyone will hire you is to make a profit off of you. -What is the absolute best advice you've ever been given? -Keep cool, never freeze. -If you treat her like a queen, and she treats you like a jester, your princess is in another castle. -Don't worry about what other people think about you. They are generally too worried about what you think about them. -Strive to be the man you want your daughter to marry -Be friends with people who own boats. -You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will always be someone who hates peaches. -if you look like you're desperate then no-one will date you -Don't give up what you want most for what you want now. -"If you're going to fuck up, and you're going to, make sure it's your fault." -"Always remember- You are not that important"

-Just fucking ask her out. -Only enemies speak the truth. Friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty. -Act like you know what you're doing in whatever situation, and 99% of people will leave you the hell alone. -Figure out what you love to do, and then figure out how to get someone to pay you to do it. -"Son, girls want to fuck just as much as guys do, they just don't tell you." -If you want to remember something, write it down. -Adversity does not build character; it reveals it. what's your best piece of tough advice? -No matter who it was that caused the problems in your life, it is ultimately going to be you who has to fix them. Might as well start now. -The friendzone doesn't exist and if you think it does you have a lot of growing up to do. People don't have an obligation to like you back, and you're not entitled to have any man or woman you desire. Some people are just nice and want to be your friend. A woman being nice to you doesn't mean she fancies you and I'm sorry, but it's pathetic and immature to think otherwise. You should be grateful that you have a friend in her in the first place. Suck it up. Move on. You will find someone who likes you in that way. If you ask a woman out and she says "No, you're a nice guy, but no" you have not been friendzoned. She just fucking likes you as a friend and you can't force people to like you in a romantic way. It really is that simple. -The world doesn't owe you anything you have to work for everything -Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard -You are the only person responsible for your own happiness. -Most people don't give a shit what you think, who you are, or what you want. If you can go through life, acknowledging that while you may matter less to others you can be considerate of their perspective, and feelings, you can save yourself a lot of self inflicted problems. -When you feel like giving up, remember all those mother fuckers you have to prove wrong. -You are probably an idiot. You know why? Look back at who you were five years ago; how naive and unknowing and immature you were, making selfish decisions and not getting enough rest/exercise/nutrients while pissing away this or that. You probably had great times and shitty times and didn't stop to appreciate that unique moment in your life when you had that much opportunity at your fingertips. You can look back now and shake your head smiling and think "if I only knew." You will be saying the same thing five years from now. -I am in the Navy and, the best advice a chief gave me was "No matter how shitty the job or situation is there is a good deal in there some where. It is up to you to find it." -People judge you on what you look like. I wish it wasn't true, but it is. Tidy yourself the fuck up. -Do everything new like you've done it twice. Confidence equals success-- or, hopefully, passable bullshit. -If your plans depend upon the decisions of others you are bound for disappointment. -No one gives a shit about how smart you are, they care about what you do. -You're not as smart or clever as you think you are. You're not special. To 99.99% of the people in the

world you're just an average idiot, despite the notion that you're some sort of important, special snowflake that's been driven into you since you were born. College students , What are some of the must-know tricks you want to share with other students? -Go to fucking class. You're paying for it, and you're really shooting yourself in the foot if you don't attend them. It's an easy way to make it much, much harder on yourself. -Get to know your professors - Try and get your professors to know who you are beyond a student number and a grade (if they even know that). Professors in small or even large classes/majors are valuable resources for letters of recommendation, additional opportunities (research, limited enrollment classes, independent study, connections, academic advice). Professors whom know -and like you- are more likely to provide you extra help, address an unsatisfactory grade, given academic advice, and etc than student 349431. not all professors are worth knowing It's pretty easy to figure out which professors do not care or do not want to helpful. They may be a researcher whom is required to teach intro bio, an archaic dinosaur whom believes that giving out A's is heresy, and etc. When you come across an instructor worth knowing, you will know it, and make sure to leave an impression. Be nice to receptionists/admins/assistants/secretaries Be nice and considerate to everybody actually. They are not just desk jockeys, but somebody whom can squeeze you in to a schedule, let you know if a prof is able to see you even if its out of office hours, call you if an opening becomes available, pass on notes before the professor gets to their mailbox at days end, etc . I have found my way out of bureaucratic hellholes and catch-22's through making allies in various offices. Amazon or other online vendors for Textbooks Often cheaper, great return policy -none of the "you unwrapped it no return" crap. Can find it used or new. -Learn how to study effectively. Most college students (I'm assuming) go through high school very easily and never need to study intensely. Find some way that works for you and use it. My personal favorite is to make study guides for whatever I'm studying. Merely writing stuff down helps me to study, and when I'm done I have a concise sheet of things I need to know. What line from a book hit you so hard that it made you cry? -“Old Dan must have known he was dying. Just before he drew his last breath, he opened his eyes and looked at me. Then with one last sigh, and a feeble thump of his tail, his friendly gray eyes closed forever.” “After the last shovel of dirt was patted in place, I sat down and let my mind drift back through the years. I thought of the old K. C. Baking Powder can, and the first time I saw my pups in the box at the depot. I thought of the fifty dollars, the nickels and dimes, and the fishermen and blackberry patches. I looked at his grave and, with tears in my eyes, I voiced these words: "You were worth it, old friend, and a thousand times over.”-Where the Red Fern Grows

-She never moved again. Next day, as the Ferris wheel was being taken apart and the race horses were being loaded into vans and the entertainers were packing up their belongings and driving away in their trailers, Charlotte died. The Fair Grounds were soon deserted. The sheds and buildings were empty and forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and trash. Nobody, of the hundreds of people that had visited the Fair, knew that a grey spider had played the most important part of all. No one was with her when she died. - Charlotte's Web -"Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?" "Of course it's happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" -"Egg, I dreamed I was old."- It's from A Feast for Crows. -"Tell me again, about the rabbits George." -"I know so many last words, but I will never know hers." - Looking For Alaska -"Go on," said Lennie. "How’s it gonna be. We gonna get a little place." "We’ll have a cow," said George. "An’ we’ll have maybe a pig an’ chickens…an’ down the flat we’ll have a …little piece alfalfa—" "For the rabbits," Lennie shouted. "For the rabbits," George repeated. -Of Mice and Men -"I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again..." -"I'll be looking for you, Will, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we'll cling together so tight that nothing and no one'll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you...We'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pin trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams...And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won't just be able to take one, they'll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we'll be joined so tight..." They lay side by side, hand in hand, looking at the sky.” -The Amber Spyglass. -In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when Harry asks his parents, godfather and Lupin if they will stay with him his dad replied 'until the very end'. -I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane. -- John Green -'I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there.-Cloud Atlas -"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. With each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future."-Cloud Atlas -“I miss her,” I said before I realized I was speaking. Then I bit it off before I could say anything else. I clenched my teeth and shook my head furiously, like a horse fighting its reins. “You can say it,” Auri said gently.

I shook again, tasted plum, and suddenly the words were pouring out of me. “She said I sang before I spoke. She said when I was just a baby she had the habit of humming when she held me. Nothing like a song. Just a descending third. Just a soothing sound. Then one day she was walking me around the camp, and she heard me echo it back to her. Two octaves higher. A tiny piping third. She said it was my first song. We sang it back and forth to each other. For years.” I choked and clenched my teeth. “You can say it,” Auri said softly. “It’s okay if you say it.” “I’m never going to see her again,” I choked out. Then I began to cry in earnest. “It’s okay,” Auri said softly. “I’m here. You’re safe.”-The Wise Man's Fear -“Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears. "After all this time?" "Always," said Snape.” -"Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?"- Cloud Atlas

What do people need to START doing? -Fact-checking. It's so easy, if you come across a "fact" that doesn't sound right or is even remotely questionable, check it. We live in an age where the world's information is available to a large fraction of the world; there's absolutely no reason to propagate myths and factoid bullshit other than laziness or ignorance. -Putting shopping carts back. Fat lazy fucks. -Being excellent to each other -Flossing. Seriously. -Being more honest with themselves when it comes to their emotions. Also, stop making excuses for why you can't do something and find reasons for why you CAN. -Making budgets. Budgets are so fucking useful it's ridiculous. -Admit their mistakes. -Taking pride in their god damn work. -Being present! Present in the here and now. Want to meet up for coffee? Then talk to ME. DON'T sit there texting other people. Watching a movie with me? DON'T sit there scrolling through Facebook and complain the movie isn't good because you haven't ENGAGED with it! -Using 'Please'/'Thank You'/'Excuse me' What are "rookie mistakes" a lot of people make in relationships? -Abandoning your friends when you enter into a relationship. A relationship should add something to your life, not take something away. -The expectation that love is like the movies and that feeling you get at the start is the feeling your always going to have. Like I see friends of mine in great relationships, but they get disappointed after like, 6 months because the romcom has ended and things are settling down. People don't realize that after the honeymoon phase, you DO develop a "different sort" of relationship. It doesn't mean you love

the person any less, but you're not gasping for air and your heart's not beating faster when you're with them every moment. Maybe you don't have sex every time you see them. Maybe you start staying in instead of going out, or wear a t shirt and jeans instead of dressing up. Whatever. If you want your relationship to work out, you don't need to lower your expectations, but you do need to change them. Don't expect an idealized media relationship, and take the changes for what they are. After going through the transition myself, I say in full confidence that I am much happier having someone I can fart in front of than someone who is constantly putting me into a romantic trance. Things are going to settle down, but that's okay, because once you make it through that period where the change is new and strange and scary, it's going to come with amazing benefits. You will no longer just have a boyfriend/girlfriend. You will have a partner. -Just fucking communicate. Is your SO doing something that bugs you? Sit down and talk it out! Be reasonable in your expectations, and expect the same in return. Y'all will disagree on some things. Work it out like adults, don't squabble like children. -1.) As cliche as it is.. do not go to bed mad. Dragging fights over several days is just not healthy on the relationship.. 2.) FFS be a man and take responsibility when you do something wrong. Don't go hours beating around the bush and try to turn the argument around on your spouse. 3.) Put yourself in their shoes. Would you appreciate your gf flirting with a hottie at a club.. probably not. Then don't do it... 4.) Check in.. honestly a text message here and there.. a call every now and then really can't hurt. Takes less than a minute to sms your spouse... 'hey i'm going with X to Y... I'll call you later.." etc.. 5.) A gift out of the blue even something as simple as her favorite chocolate bar.. a single rose.. can mean a lot. 6.) If you have a problem.. speak up don't sit there and brood.. and for fuck sake don't go running off to talk to your ex or girl friends.. talk to your spouse.. 7.) Some things are just not worth fighting about... 8.) Venting about your spouse to your friends is not a good idea. You may forgive your spouse.. but they never will. (Addendum: Venting to your spouse about your best friends.. might have the same effect.. My advice? vent to reddit.. lol) 9.) More on 8.. Seeking advice from single friends can easily leave u with an empty bed. Some of the worst decisions I've made were from taking advice from single friends.. They just don't get it. They never will. They can't relate.. and they'll just never understand.. 10.) Commitment. To your spouse, to your friends and family. You can't be everywhere at once.. you'll never be able to keep everyone happy.. If you make plans.. stick to it. If you break plans you better damn well make up for them. If you start alienating someone they're going to resent you and whoever

you are spending that time with. (I'm being a bit hypocritical here.. I just cancelled on one of best friends cause my gf changed her flight to an earlier flight but I rescheduled.. so hopefully that makes up for it) 11.) Learn to agree even though you disagree. Especially if it is in reference to some girls actions or attributes. You can save yourself a fight. Early in the relationship I use to always defend some girls honor.. this always lead to arguments and fights (at least this was the case for me). 12.) It's all fun and games to make fun of each other when you are alone. Try to refrain from picking on your gf amongst friends and peers. You're suppose to have each others backs.. Nor should you really be giving your friends material to make fun of your spouse. What do you do to smoothly end a conversation with someone? -"Anyway, it was good seeing you again." -"Well, I should let you go" or "I better let you get going" -Anywho, I got bodies to bury. Toodles. -Screw you guys, im going home -Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night! what are exceptionally simple tips that make a huge difference in other people's writing? -This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important. -“In six seconds, you’ll hate me. But in six months, you’ll be a better writer. From this point forward—at least for the next half year—you may not use “thought” verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred others you love to use. The list should also include: Loves and Hates. And it should include: Is and Has, but we’ll get to those later. Until some time around Christmas, you can’t write: Kenny wondered if Monica didn’t like him going out at night…” Instead, you’ll have to Un-pack that to something like: “The mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until he’d had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking

sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, she’d only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.” Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it. Instead of saying: “Adam knew Gwen liked him.” You’ll have to say: “Between classes, Gwen had always leaned on his locker when he’d go to open it. She’s roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. The combination lock would still be warm from her butt. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.” In short, no more short-cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling. Typically, writers use these “thought” verbs at the beginning of a paragraph (In this form, you can call them “Thesis Statements” and I’ll rail against those, later). In a way, they state the intention of the paragraph. And what follows, illustrates them. For example: “Brenda knew she’d never make the deadline. Traffic was backed up from the bridge, past the first eight or nine exits. Her cell phone battery was dead. At home, the dogs would need to go out, or there would be a mess to clean up. Plus, she’d promised to water the plants for her neighbor…” Do you see how the opening “thesis statement” steals the thunder of what follows? Don’t do it. If nothing else, cut the opening sentence and place it after all the others. Better yet, transplant it and change it to: Brenda would never make the deadline. Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing. And loving and hating. Don’t tell your reader: “Lisa hated Tom.” Instead, make your case like a lawyer in court, detail by detail. Present each piece of evidence. For example: “During roll call, in the breath after the teacher said Tom’s name, in that moment before he could answer, right then, Lisa would whisper-shout ‘Butt Wipe,’ just as Tom was saying, ‘Here’.” One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone. Writing, you may be alone. Reading, your audience may be alone. But your character should spend very, very little time alone. Because a solitary character starts thinking or worrying or wondering. For example: Waiting for the bus, Mark started to worry about how long the trip would take…” A better break-down might be: “The schedule said the bus would come by at noon, but Mark’s watch said it was already 11:57. You could see all the way down the road, as far as the Mall, and not see a bus.

No doubt, the driver was parked at the turn-around, the far end of the line, taking a nap. The driver was kicked back, asleep, and Mark was going to be late. Or worse, the driver was drinking, and he’d pull up drunk and charge Mark seventy-five cents for death in a fiery traffic accident…” A character alone must lapse into fantasy or memory, but even then you can’t use “thought” verbs or any of their abstract relatives. Oh, and you can just forget about using the verbs forget and remember. No more transitions such as: “Wanda remembered how Nelson used to brush her hair.” Instead: “Back in their sophomore year, Nelson used to brush her hair with smooth, long strokes of his hand.” Again, Un-pack. Don’t take short-cuts. Better yet, get your character with another character, fast. Get them together and get the action started. Let their actions and words show their thoughts. You—stay out of their heads. And while you’re avoiding “thought” verbs, be very wary about using the bland verbs “is” and “have.” For example: “Ann’s eyes are blue.” “Ann has blue eyes.” Versus: “Ann coughed and waved one hand past her face, clearing the cigarette smoke from her eyes, blue eyes, before she smiled…” Instead of bland “is” and “has” statements, try burying your details of what a character has or is, in actions or gestures. At its most basic, this is showing your story instead of telling it. And forever after, once you’ve learned to Un-pack your characters, you’ll hate the lazy writer who settles for: “Jim sat beside the telephone, wondering why Amanda didn’t call.” Please. For now, hate me all you want, but don’t use thought verbs. After Christmas, go crazy, but I’d bet money you won’t. (…) For this month’s homework, pick through your writing and circle every “thought” verb. Then, find some way to eliminate it. Kill it by Un-packing it. Then, pick through some published fiction and do the same thing. Be ruthless.

“Marty imagined fish, jumping in the moonlight…”

“Nancy recalled the way the wine tasted…” “Larry knew he was a dead man…” Find them. After that, find a way to re-write them. Make them stronger.”

-Kurt Vonnegut's no-bullshit tips are great: 1) Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted. 2) Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for. 3) Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water. 4) Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action. 5) Start as close to the end as possible. 6) Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them-in order that the reader may see what they are made of. 7) Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia. 8) Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages. -"When writing dialogue, avoid using an adverb after he/she said," he said wisely. You shouldn't need the adverb to convey the meaning or intent of the dialogue. -Character development! Don't make your character perfect, especially from the start. Try to make it so they grow in some way, progress. I always had the habit of making my characters nearly flawless, well rounded, beautiful, talented, everything. And I found it left me with no room to write. -When writing on a certain topic, think of a skirt. Long enough to cover the important things, but short enough to keep things interesting. Thank you mrs. Cooke, freshman english teacher! -Hunter Thompson used to type out "The Great Gatsby" to get the feel and rhythm of the story. Basically to better understand the flow of the words. Perhaps if you're stumped and cant seem to produce anything, try typing a copy of a WELL WRITTEN book. Preferably one that displays a writing style you like. -Get started. People often let fear of the assignment lead to procrastination. Do the prewriting

assignments with the final product in mind, but recognize the value of getting something on the page. Keep the assignment sheet or rubric handy, because it will show you exactly what is needed to do a quality job. Listen to everyone who tells you to read it out loud! You engage different parts of your brain when you read out loud, so you are more likely to catch mistakes, awkward sentences, and words you have repeated too often. Learn the art of revision. When you think you have a decent draft, print it and walk away for a bit. When you go back to it, read it out loud for clarity and content. Mark changes with a colored pen. Repeat. It's amazing how much revision will teach you.about how to improve papers. We live in a time where information is always at our fingertips. Google Purdue OWL for a great online resource for writing. Don't feel confident in your punctuation? Google it! When you have a quality draft before the deadline, take it into your professor. If you're ahead of schedule they will usually be glad to answer specific questions about the work. Having trouble getting started? Get something down so you can identify what the problem is instead of saying you're stuck. A professor is much more likely to help if you give them something to work with. Also, keep in mind that even professional writers revise often. That excellent draft you write the night before will rarely stand up to scrutiny the next morning. Leave yourself time to polish your work. Edit: I was thinking in terms of assignments when I answered, though this was not how the question was framed. I never meant to imply that all professional writers always revise their work. That said, it's a good skill to have because many of us need it. If you want to improve your creative writing, you should be reading. It can be helpful to some to have a trusted reader (or three) who is adept at reading your work and making recommendations, but honing your ability to know if a piece is working will be helpful. Depending upon where you live, you may have access to writing events, readings, workshops, or university courses. I'm fortunate to live in an area where I have access to all of the above, and the community is supportive of the arts in lovely ways. -Everyone hears "write what you know." The best advice I ever got was "write about what you don't know about what you know." You're a teenager: don't write about your daily life of sleeping in class and worrying about girls. Write about all the rich angry angst you will never experience again. Write about the terror of growing up. You're a college kid: don't write about parties and finals. Write about being unsure about the path you chose, and whether you're disappointing your parents or yourself. Middle aged folk: don't write about how cute your kids are. Write about how scared you feel when they are out too late an haven't called. This is the real human experience: never knowing, always being unsure. This is where interesting writing comes from.

-Hands down, what is the most relaxing song you know? -Your Hand In Mine- Explosions In The Sky -Nujabes - Aruarian Dance -On Melancholy Hill – Gorillaz -Claude Debussy - Clair de Lune -Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap -'(Sitting at) dock of the bay' - Otis Redding -Breathe – Télépopmusik -Somewhere Over the Rainbow/Wonderful World by Brother Iz. -Comfortably Numb -The sound of silence -moonlight sonata-Beethoven -Fix You – Coldplay -river flows in you – yiruma -Ocean - John Butler -To Build A Home - The Cinematic Orchestra. -Human Qualities - Explosions in the Sky -Halo 3 - "Finish the Fight"

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