Funny Lines

Published on June 2016 | Categories: Documents | Downloads: 79 | Comments: 0 | Views: 950
of 13
Download PDF   Embed   Report

Comments

Content

i'm like a baby these days, sleep all different types of hours of the day. I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me! Your book is both good and original. But the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good." "When guys poop, do they hold their balls out of the way?" Wow, just wow. The Mist has the most fucked up ending of any movie ever. Worth w atching though. So sorry I haven't been on so long. I've been busy as a bee! :) Endure the 4 1/2 hrs of sleep everyday. This is my toe with puss coming out. Sponsor me or my feet will have been in vai n. wow, the rain here is unbelievable and I have to go out in it into the town. Wis h I had just stayed in my bed now lmao :( i was SUPER clumsy. 1day it was rainin my mom dropped me off@school & said "dont fall!"...immediately i fell in a puddle :( feeling dizzy, going to have some rest... I think. see u from taking responsibilities talents are explored One little spark in this sea of stars^^ Doing medical studies, I write kilometer s of feelings, come and visit me ;) Update often and keep enlightening we innocent souls! :-) Winners neva win and quitters neva win.. Morning everyone! Hope your Tuesday is off to a good start! You are truly an inspiration. kahin tumhare baaye haath ki daahini oongli ke nakhoon mein kaala til to nahi??? ? Sorry to butt in - but just out of curiosity, how did you find out about this Ze e? Thank you all for your birthday wishes- even though some of you are far away I f eel very happy and loved today :) i was scared to curse 'cause i thought allah would hear me and get mad. pa about an hour ago Whenever u feel 97% lonely, 39% confused, 45% angry, 92% sad or even, 48% bored. . dont worry.. just put those numbers together n call Hip Hip hurray! Congrats to all our colleagues on their promotions..well deserve d! *thumbs up*

0range ka juice... mera d0st kanjus... Aam ka achar.... Hamesha bahane tayyar.. . Angir ka r0ll.... Na kare call.. Bahane he easy...kehta he I'm busy yaar... R T Nagar Sultan palya VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED" but u deserve sum1 much better! Of Course I Love You ! Till I find someone else Please dont interrupt me while i am ignoring you!!!!!!!!!! da more i c u da more i admire dogs Don't think, it may sprain your brain! every engg student feels the same ...i guess we r destined to feel fcked up > 3. If I save time, when do I get it back? I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. Nobody Dies a Virgin....Fate Fucks Every1.. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs. [In order to achieve something, it is inevitable and necessary that something sh ould be destroyed] Where did the topic go??Its gone with the wind..lol Dekho Magar Pyar Se mera le , mere bhai ka le . .............Aashirwad The masters of universe have feet of clay... buri nazarwale tere bachhe jiye aur jab tak jiye tera khoone piye Dum hai to pass kar Warna tu bardaasht kar

CHALTI HAI GADI UDTE HAI DHUL MILTE HAI DIL KHILTE HAI PHUL Rehmat Teri!!! Mehnat Meri!! Jinhe Jaldi Thi Wo Chale Gye... Maalik Ki Gaadi Driver Ka Paseena Chalti Hai Road Par Ban Kar Haseena

Y rainbow has only 7 colours?????I wish rainbow could answer? Y V celebrat lovers day ??bcoz lovers r too busy in night.. Kyuki Jeet ke aage Dar hai, to Dar Dar se DAr Jata hai Isliye vo Jeet ke Peeche hai... because you are a trained professional liar who has developed lots of tricks to lie and cheat innocent people and lying in the only thing you are expert at and for rest you are worst! so enjoy lying I'm Karthik, the soul prince of my home kingdom and an ordinary man with extraor dinary dreams ! Laugh so hard that even sorrows smile at you; Live life so well that even death loves to see you live ! agar laila ko karna hai impress to khao minto fresh... Attitude is my game.....better stop playing it! 1) Sign on a railway station at Patna: Aana free, jaana free, pakde gaye to khana free. 2) Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay: Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother! 3) Seen on a bulletin board: Success is relative. More the success, more the relatives. 4)Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay: We need your heads to run our business. 5)A traffic slogan: Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough -or else they never will be..... 6)Sign in a restaurant: All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager. THE BEST ONE : 7) Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc. Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and God. Indian Armed Forces There is nothing right in the left part of your brain and nothing left in the ri ght - Your 'I can' is more important than your 'IQ' - A conclusion is simply the point where one got tired of thinking (arthur block)

- An advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn' t (erica jong) - Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired (robert frost) - Anticipation is sweet..... when you are sure of the outcome - The trouble with being punctual is that there is no one to appreciate it (james p. franklin) - A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age (robert frost) - I'm not RUDE, you're just insignificant - A committe is a group of 'unwilling' picked from the 'unfit' to do the 'unnece ssary'. Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones. adnan ka matlab aadha naan pura hota toh phat jaata thaan Why do they call it re-search, when looking for something new? cos humans have evolved from monkeys...we like to copy what others do whome did monkeys evolve from??? whatever is in your right brain is never right and nothing left in left brain . Heading towards be-heading everyone In a Hope that after re-searching the same thing again and again, they'll find s omething new why do ppl fart to prove that sound and spread of smell have same speed!!! On car wind screens Ass smells too bad!!! Do not try kissing.

shift the ctrl to us.......we will alt the world...... dont expect nething from us.....coz v go beyond expectations To Bug is Human, To debug is divine... A Comp.Sci guy ws smoking... girl: Can't u see the Warning... CIGGARET SMOKIN IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH... The guy said... We bother only abt errors... not warnings... I love you cos u make me complete... I love you cos I'm the happiest when I'm wi th you... I love you cos without u babe, there ain't no me....I love you cos lif e's black and white when you are not around....

oh did i say i love u....actually i meant i would make love to you....now that m akes sense swts on bike when man rides baby's just watch the world's longest abbreviation contains 56 letters: NIIOMTPLABOPARMBETZHELBETRABSBOM ONIMONKONOTDTEKHSTROMONT Meaning: Laboratory for Shuttering, Reinforcement, Concrete and Ferroconcrete Op erations for Composite-monolithic and Monolithic Constructions of the Department of Technology of Building Assembly Operations of the Scientific Research Instit ute of the Organization for Building Mechanization and Technical Aid of the Acad emy of Building and Architecture of the USSR.

If you trust someone trust them fully.... in the end either you will get a very good person or a very good lesson :-) i didnt realise dat you were gonna be back so early...great..ll c ya in a bit i hope,once,we all hear the message... i ll help you out.. i find you both very sexually attractive..lets pump the brakes..okay?? lets wrap it up buddy.. overall,i think dat went really well... Could you take a loook at ma ________..go ahead..let me see it.. if someone keep repeatin somethin den Do u mind not saying that over n over again? i gotta get out of here... i would always leave ma cereal boxes open,and my cereal would get stale... it sounds like she z having such a hard time.. i just would be so depressed.. How are things going with the lady? not awesome.. she z complicated like DA VINC I CODE.. harder to crack.. u learn something new everyday..wonder what iam goin to learn tomorrow.. its geting kind of hard to believe,things are goin to get betta..i've been drown ing too long to believe that the tides goin to turn.. iam still trying to shakeoff pain from the lessons i have learned.. i just dont wanna complicate things..

u were just too stupid to notice... will you pls cut the bullshit n have talk wid me.. u have no idea how hard i tried .sajjad i took love seminars.. Don u dare,sit there n tell me that i didnt tried.. i thot u were gonna wear the shirt i got you.. sorry for all the wrong i hvae done... i have been thinkin so much about you .. in a world whe you donno who to tust.. man of little faith.. u r flustered(confuse)... liitle bit.. hey u really gott some major connectionsto the top... if u ever need anything..I'm ua mahn.. Dude this chick is giving moi such boner(Erection)..its awesome.. let me show you how it works.. hey zip it(shut ua mouth).. i promise you that.. i have never felt this way about ne1 b4..reallyy... it is just the fuckin claculus final is killing me.. Do u mind if i take a look.. are v supposed to be here?? what do v do now? u saw the fugitive(person who has escaped from captivity o hiding)..huh? how do i knw u r tellin the truth? i don have a reason to lie to ya man.. how can u be so sure?cause he doesnt have a police record(no crime n all) whats dat sound??are you jerking off again??Iam taking a glorious pee-pee we have been walkin entire day..and v have not even seen a street sign.. nothing is more important than finding the solution for this.. do u get it?? Dude,honestly.. u have got to be little more positive about these things.. i wish u'd told me u was bringing guests home.. nice to meet you.. you just make yourselves(two were thr) at home.. Dont you be cussing(u shudnt curse wen guests r at home) ,wen v got company over May i have the distinguished honour n priledge to knw abt ya?

with all due respect i ask ya to forgive ... U guys have got to stay for supper... i beg for pardon..

This isnt creepy(unpleasant feeling of fear).. dont worry..i got rid of them.. i just had the most fucked up nightmare.. i was having really hot dream..go back to bed .. i like him better than i like right now.. DOnt you dare say a fucking word abt ma angel.. Holp up a sec.. i gotta go drain the main vien..(gotta goto pee) Are they still behind us??(follow kar tay watay?) hey flag down this car(car haath daakhad) what are you doin here man? this is where god took me.. we are actually tryin to get to texas.. thats where iam headed! Shroud-cloth used to wrap the dead body for burial.. this is ridiculous(illogical,unreasonable) why the hell ua ass is so dirty ? dont you wipe? i found something in ua purse.. Y wud u go thru ma purse? i hae just been a liitle stressed.. so i just fagged..it hepls me relax.. i thought that part of ua life was in the past..it is.. look,i knw things can be hectic with the wedding.. it is an honour to meet you sir!!Yeah.. i wud imagine so.. i deserve an oscar for that performance... iam gonna take a little detour on the way..allright? Don need nothin.but a good time..how cani resist? Aint lukin for nothin but a good time.. i guess that make sense..

well,i hope u r ready for me.. cause iam gonna rock out with my cock out.. boner achieved(erected) why did i let ma little baby go? Let me put it another way.. i twisted my ankle..bye vanessa..hope u feel better.. why arent u in the car,ahmed? Dude,i heard her yell.. i thought i told you to stay in the car .. i thought we were frenz man.. how could you betray me like this? boy,u r scaring me.. i have heard enough of ua crap.. how the fuck m i supposed to do that? the glass hurt ma leg.. what the hell are you doin in ma office? you'd better start giving me some answers... Dont worry..i took complete care of them... or beacuse he wants me to carry on his legacy(property left to somone in a will) iam not being disespectful..i can handle ma shit.. iam a president..that means i get to pardon whoever i want... after all the trouble i have been through..i donno i can trust ne1 ne more... Ladies n gentlemen,i apologise for interrupting this beautiful ceremony.. looks like i got a little more pull with the president than u,biatich.. Ua fren promised to get us out of trouble..but instead he arranged for us to get back to prison.. i ll take care of this,myself.. called every hotel in the city.. i walked all around..i just cant find her anywh ere... ahmed,u stay on him...(keepin an eye on someone ) Could i trouble u for a match?? i finally touched down.. just keep ua mind open n suck in experience..n if it hurts,its probably worth it . no wonder ua comedies conquer the world. you have such a playful sense of humor.

bastard parasite.. Desire is desire,wherever u go.. the sun will not bleach it nor de tide wash it away.. "Coins make a lot a noise, notes dont..." Takeaway: when your value increases, keep your mouth shut!

"When you truely aspire for something, the entire universe conspires in a way th at you have it" says people who dont know me think i am shy but people who know me wish i were s hy !!! but if you mess with her, you will see yourself six feet under! I think people just anticipated so much that it feels lackluster(not interestin o exciting) over what they expected. [b]In search of about me... Yes yes, I did try google..!! [:)] [i]"me" is a word used to refer oneself !![:D][;)] Get to know me and find out for yourself Sorry, the account you were headed to has been suspended due to strange activity . a full stomach is directly proportional to a good nap Shame that I'm tied into an 18 month contract! To the best of my knowledge, I have never been 'Touched By An Angel'. I do not find them appealing. Today was the perfect end to the week. Gonna be a great weekend and even better week next week! well imagine this, ask yourself how much you love me, I love you double that! nice internet marketing blog that i stumbled accross Luv z a sensatn,causd by a temptatn,2 feel penetratn..a guy sticks his locatn in galz destinatn 2 increase populatn for de nxt generatn..Did u get ma explanatn? O do u need demonstratn?

If we had more things in common, we d be twins I sit here tonight with thoughts of you.

Wishing you were here with me like I always do. Every Donkey praises his own Tail( mind u i ain't a donkey...its just an Example ) I desire nothing more than to be in your heart until forever dies. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become sup erfluous. I only thought about you once today.. I never stopped. no body know when death is going to come, so i belive we all r living in a dream world... ideal match: You know, one that ignites well. i live to love, i love to live Without the CEO the company doesnt work. But without the IT guy the CEO doesnt work!! Imagine what you could do,if you could predict the future!! you could if you wanted too... "You met me at a very strange time in my life." ' You can call me Susan if it makes you happy. Tomorrow is promised to no one 'How many people are having an orgasm right now?'" "Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fi lls up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can' t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life." Whoever looks for the truth deserves punishment for finding it. "I'll fuck anything that moves!" Movie dork. I like building things. I work in technology. I'm shy around people I don't know. Highly sarcastic, low dumb-tolerance, easily entertained, soft-spo ken, creative troubleshooting, rule breaking, passion-motivated, day-dreamer. [b]jo tasveer is dil mai hai wo kahin ho nahin sakti.....[:)] "Everyone sees who I appear to be, but only a few know the real me. You only see what I choose to show, there's so much behind this smile... you don't even know!!" "There are no more white horses and beautiful ladies at my door."

"Every living creature on this earth dies alone." "When she jumped, she probably thought she could fly" One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even conside red for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. It was truly an honor taking classes with him. Wish I could go back in time and do it again! Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there... It s beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart. A dream costs nothing unless you want it to come true. Every day and every night I always dream that you are by my side! All men who have achieved great things have been dreamers. Good night my love! We will meet each other in our dreams to spend a few moments with love and happines together. I love you! All dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. Don't dream your life, live your dreams! My feelings for you inside my heart are so extremly deep! No words to explain th is feelings to you! Its wonderful! You are so beautiful to me Love is the feeling, that you feel, when you feel the feeling, that you never fe lt before. roses,red I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, th is flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I love you! Never forget me, forget me never! But when you forget me, forget me forever! The noblest revenge is to forgive. An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh. If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life. A smile is a language that even a baby understands. Let smile be your umbrella and you ll get a mouthful of rain. one good turn gets most of the blankets. Remember,a journey of a thousand miles begins with dad sayin"i knw a shrtcut" Sticks and stones may break my bones,but words can never hurt me-unless someone throws an unabridged dictionary at me. the pen is mightier than the sword,although it better be really huge pen. today is the forst day of the rest ofyour life.But relax.so is morrow. A key chain is a device that allows you to loose several keys all at nce rather than one here and one there. if you want your shoes to last longer,take bigger steps.. never get into fight wid an ugly person.he has nothin to loose.

The law of heridity is that all undesirable traits come from the other parent. Use the last key in the bunch because thats the one that will unlock the key!! we'd accept good advice if it didnt interfere wid your plans! thank you for this award. i consider it a first step towards my goal of world do mination.

(ppl get up to leave)Now thats what i like. a movin standin ovation!

wow! i ahve gott to get that recipe. (when you forget somethin)this is awful.everyyear general motor is recalling mor e and more amd iam recallin less and less.

always keep a smile on your face coz it looks silly on other parts of your body !! Dont worry,Loud applause doesnt frighten me. Dont be embarrasses to ask the simplest,most basic question,coz thats the only k ind i ll be able to answer.

he knws how to make a long story short.he always forgets the ending.

I didnt get any sleep preparing my speech last night, and i sincerely hope that you dint get any sleep while i was makin it.

i know you have lot of questions and i ahve lot answers,lets just hope that they match!! i am confused as termite in yo-yo if laughter is the best medicine,then this man is a wonder drug!!! i ll make deal.i'll stop talkin if u start applauding. iam not goin to bore you with lot of facts and figures.i'll bore you without the m.

bald- when the lord makes somethin gud,he doesnt cover it up!!

Chandu ke chacha ne chandu ki chachi ki chandni raat main chandi ki chamchi se c hatni chatai. Ever since you've left, I have realised that a part of one's Life is made of som eone else's life. I miss that PART. I Miss U. May ur heart b happy & ur days b bright. May ur roads b smooth & ur burdens ligh t. May u find dreams & touch a star & never forget how Special U R Happiness is not something you postpone for the future. It is something you desi gn for the present. Make each moment a happy one. I have by remembering U! Friendship is needless, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it. There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it The world is full of beauty when your heart is full of love. So start your day w ith love & smile in your heart. Have a peaceful day ): Friendship never speaks volumes, it never demands proof, it never has a happy ending too simply coz it doesn't end as long as friends r true, just like U!

A strong n positive attitude creates more miracles than any other thing coz life is 10% how u make it n 90% how u take it. Good evening

Think Smarter,Spread Wider!!

Sponsor Documents

Or use your account on DocShare.tips

Hide

Forgot your password?

Or register your new account on DocShare.tips

Hide

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link to create a new password.

Back to log-in

Close