Healing The Brokenhearted with Frank Meadows

Frank Meadows, LCSW (Meadows Healing Prayer Center)
DEALING
WITH &
LOOKING
HONESTLY
AT OUR
WOUNDED
PAST

SURVIVING NOT THRIVING...

"Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you
completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body
be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus
Christ." (1 Thessalonians 5:23 NKJV)
"The thief comes only
in order to steal and kill
and destroy. I came
that they may have and
enjoy life, and have it in
abundance (to the full,
till it overflows)."
(John 10:10 AMP)
WHAT IS THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR
PAST, YOUR LIFE AND YOUR FAMILY
OF ORIGIN?
A. OUR NATURAL TENDENCY IS AVOIDANCE.
NOT DEALING WITH OUR ISSUES OF OUR
PAST & OUR PAIN
"Then you will
know the truth,
and the truth will
set you free.”
(John 8:32)
WE FIGHT OR FLIGHT...
A. SUPPRESS
B. REPRESS
C. DISSOCIATE
D. BURY
E. RUN AWAY
F. PROJECT ON
OTHERS
G. DEVELOP
ADDICTIONS
TO NUMB
OUR PAIN
USING COMPULSIVE ADDICTIVE
BEHAVIORS:
A. DRUGS
B. ALCOHOL
C. SEX
D. PORNOGRAPHY
E. GAMBLING
F. FOOD
G. WORK
H. RELIGION
I. CODEPENDENCY, ETC.
ABUSE VICTIMIZATION:
PAST WOUNDEDNESS
A. SEXUAL
B. PHYSICAL
C. EMOTIONAL
D. VERBAL
E. PARENTS DIVORCED
F. EXPERIENCING ABANDONMENT
G. REJECTION/ CONTROL
H. BULLYING VICTIM
ADULT TRAUMA:
A. RAPE
B. VICTIM OF DOMESTIC OR OTHER VIOLENCE
C. COMBAT VETERAN OR LIVING IN A WAR ZONE
GROWING UP WITH A FAMILY MEMBER
WHO WAS:
A. PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY ILL
B. HANDICAPPED
C. ASPERGER SYNDROME
D. AUTISM, ETC.
ACOA- ADULT CHILDREN OF
ALCOHOLICS
MENTAL ILLNESS:
A. SCHIZOPHRENIA
B. BIPOLAR DISORDER
C. DEPRESSION
D. ANXIETY
E. PANIC ATTACKS
F. ADHD, ETC.
ANGER.
HOW WAS ANGER ADDRESSED ON YOUR
FAMILY? (Prince of Tides scene)
A. HEALTHY ASSERTIVE EXPRESSION
B. RAGING
C. SUPPRESSED
D. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY
WHEN DELIVERANCE IS INDICATED:
A. OCCULT
B. CHRISTIAN CULTS
C. FALSE RELIGION
D. GENERATIONAL CURSES
E. SOUL TIES
F. VOWS
G. CURSES
DEVELOPMENT & INTERNALIZATION
OF LIE BASED CORE BELIEFS
Issues you have not addressed or dealt with:
Childhood wounds you have not addressed, i.e.,
ACOA, childhood abuse.

A. Abandonment, rejection, divorce
B. Adult trauma, rape, war,
robbery victim
C. Physical, sexual, emotional,
verbal, spiritual abuse, abortion
EXERCISE: Personal Healing Inventory
2. Psychological Issues:
depression, anxiety, panic attacks, schizophrenia,
bipolar disorder, ADHD etc.
3. Compulsive-Addictive Issues
i.e., alcohol, drugs, eating,
codependency, workaholism,
sexual addiction (affairs,
promiscuity, pornography,
compulsive masturbation,
homosexuality, etc.)
4. Ways I deal with anger:
1. Healthy expression
2. Suppression
3. Raging
4. Passive aggressive
5. Grew up with someone
with a chronic illness,
physical or mental
handicap.
1. OCCULT
2. CHRISTIAN CULTS
3. FALSE RELIGION
4. GENERATIONAL CURSES
5. SOUL TIES
6. VOWS
7. CURSES
EXERCISE: WHERE DELIVERANCE IS
INDICATED WITH YOU OR IN YOUR FAMILY?
Barriers to Dealing with our Unresolved
Issues & Pain:
A. Ignore
B. Suppress
C. Denial
D. Rationalize/ Intellectualize:
Explain things away
or minimize
E. Dissociate: Normal
reaction to trauma,
but not intended to be
a permanent solution
More Barriers to Dealing with our
Unresolved Issues & Pain:
F. Repress
G. Projection:
We project blame
onto our mate, boss,
children, others
H. Spiritualize: We become “super spiritual”
I. Getting Stuck In Our Codependency
J. Avoidant, addictive compulsive behaviors
A. Numb, avoid, shift focus
B. Eating disorders
C. Workaholism
D. Codependency
E. Alcohol, drug abuse (prescription drug abuse)
F. Sexual addiction: pornography, affairs,
compulsive masturbation
G. Media, Facebook, iPad, iPhone, Instagram,
Twitter, texting etc
Barriers...
Jer 29:11 For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you
says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and
not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.
Eph 2:10 For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His
workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we
may do those good works which God predestined (planned
beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of
time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which
He prearranged and made ready for us to live].
We must continue to receive healing and to grow
in sanctification.
Discipline of Personal Healing
PERSONAL HEALING INVENTORY
Where would you rate yourself in your healing
journey?
1. Diligently working.
2. Partially working.
3. Knowing you need
to address issues
but not doing so.
4. Total denial. Not
even aware of my
need.

-
How do you now or have you in the past
received your own personal healing ministry?
1. Inner Healing Prayer minister
2. Self prayer
3. Therapist / counselor
4. Pastoral Counseling
5. Soaking Prayer
6. I do not do anything
7. Other
8. Can I relate to or do any of the issues
discussed in the lecture apply to you?
9. What has triggered you today?
10. Are you presently in a season of receiving some
type of healing prayer ministry?
11. Do you typically receive your own personal
ministry for the situations that “stir you up” or
“trigger” you?
12. What are your “blocks” or reasons for not
regularly receiving healing prayer, personal
ministry or counseling when needed?
13. Do you have an accountability partner and if not,
who are some good possibilities
Personal Healing Inventory...
Prayer to Open Our Hearts and Minds?
Lord, I choose to lower my defenses, humble
myself and give You permission to bring to the
surface, to my conscious awareness, the issues,
hurts, woundedness and LIE-BASED THINKING
and the root memories they are contained in that
You desire for me to begin to deal with and
address today. I ask for You to show me how to
deal with my unresolved issues and to develop a
plan of action and to receive healing and a
renewed mind and to walk in the fullness of my
destiny in Jesus Name.
Frank Meadows, LCSW (Meadows Healing Prayer Center)
Part One:
Triggers The Key to Breakthrough

Frank Meadows, LCSW
Meadows Healing Prayer Center
MeadowsHealingPrayerCenter.com
Chesapeake, Virginia
A. Triggered Emotion is an emotional
overreaction to a here and now life event,
situation or circumstance. the situations
that a person is triggered by or emotionally
overreacting to in their day"to"day life, is
evidence of where their lie based thinking
is rooted. We help them follow the trail of
their emotional pain to their past
memories where core foundational beliefs
were put in place.
1. Triggered Emotions Definition:
We are assured and know that #God being a partner in
their labor$ all things work together and are !fitting
into a plan" for good to and for those who love God
and are called according to #His$ design and purpose.
Romans 8:28 AMP

2. Triggers - The Pathway to Healing


• Healing Formula:
• Triggered Emotional Pain
in the present leads to:
• Past Memories leads to:
• Core Foundational Lies or Beliefs
leads to the opportunity for a:
• Truth Encounter from Jesus #Holy Spirit$
leads to:
• Mind renewal, healing and peace.


3. Triggers - God's Gift:

"....To comfort all who mourn,
To console those who mourn
in Zion, To give them beauty
for ashes, The oil of joy for
mourning, The garment of
praise for the spirit of
heaviness; That they may be
called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that
He may be glorified.”


Isaiah 61:2-3 NKJV

"And David came to
Baal"perazim, and he
smote them there, and
said, The Lord has broken
through my enemies before
me, like the bursting out of
great waters. So he called
the name of that place
Baal"perazim #Lord of
breaking through$”.

4. Emotional Triggers are the Key to
Healing and Breakthrough
2 Samuel 5:20 AMP
A Triggered Emotion is an emotional overreaction to a here
and now life event, situation or circumstance. the situations
that a person is triggered by or emotionally overreacting to in
their day"to"day life, is evidence of where their lie based
thinking is rooted. We help them follow the trail of their
emotional pain to their past memories where core
foundational beliefs were put in place.
1. Triggered Emotions Definition:
5. Avoidance of Triggers
Instead of embracing the triggered emotional
reaction and seeing it as an opportunity for healing
or breakthrough, we
tend to bury, deny,
suppress and
often medicate
our painful,
triggered reactions.
Instead of denying and avoiding, we need to
embrace our triggered emotional
responses. They are the pathway to finding
the mental core foundational strongholds
located in past memory containers.
6. Holy Spirit Led Reframing:


B. The most common situations in
which triggers occur are at
home, with our families,
families of origin, our
workplace and our church.

C. Triggers tend to happen in close
proximity to interpersonal
relationships or stimuli.
A. A trigger can happen anywhere,
anytime, in any situation.
• Fear of heights or water.

• Molested" aftershave cent or
a stocky body build or a beard.

• Husband watching football, abandonment,
rejection themes.

• Boss or pastor interactions, powerless themes


D. Trigger Stimuli Example:

E. Lie Detector % a trigger is the
perfect indication of where the
memory resides containing the lies.

If you follow the
trail of smoke
%emotional
trigger& you will
find the room
%memory&, where
the fire %lie& is
located or rooted.
7. Jesus, Holy Spirit Led
Truth Encounter.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 AMP
"For the weapons of our warfare are not physical #weapons of
flesh and blood$, but they are mighty before God for the overthrow
and destruction of strongholds,
#Inasmuch as we$ refute
arguments and theories and
reasonings and every proud
and lofty thing that sets itself up
against the #true$ knowledge of
God; and we lead every thought
and purpose away captive into
the obedience of Christ %the
Messiah, the AnointedOne&,"


• What situations have triggered you today?

• What situations have triggered you over the years?

• What emotional triggers are you feeling today?
%see list&

• What emotional triggers have been a pattern or
theme over the years?
Triggers Exercises:
AFRAID
apprehensive
dread
fearful
foreboding
frightened
mistrustful
panicked
petrified
scared
suspicious
terrified
wary
worried

ANNOYED
aggravated
dismayed
disgruntled
displeased
exasperated
frustrated
impatient
irritated
irked

ANGER
angry
enraged
furious
incensed
indignant
irate
livid
outraged
resentful
CONFUSED
ambivalent
ba'ed
bewildered
dazed
hesitant
lost
mystified
perplexed
puzzled
torn

DISQUIET
agitated
alarmed
discombobulated
disconcerted
disturbed
perturbed
rattled
restless
shocked
startled
surprised
troubled
turbulent
turmoil
uncomfortable
uneasy
unnerved
unsettled
upset
EMBARRASSED
ashamed
chagrined
flustered
guilty
mortified
self"conscious

FATIGUE
beat
burnt out
depleted
exhausted
lethargic
listless
sleepy
tired
weary
worn out

AVERSION
animosity
appalled
contempt
disgusted
dislike
hate
horrified
hostile
repulsed
TENSE
anxious
cranky
distressed
distraught
edgy
fidgety
frazzled
irritable
jittery
nervous
overwhelmed
restless
stressed out

VULNERABLE
fragile
guarded
helpless
insecure
leery
reserved
sensitive
shaky

PAIN
agony
anguished
bereaved
devastated
grief
heartbroken
hurt
lonely
miserable
regretful
remorseful
SAD
depressed
dejected
despair
despondent
disappointed
discouraged
disheartened
forlorn
gloomy
heavy hearted
hopeless
melancholy
unhappy
wretched

DISCONNECTED
alienated
aloof
apathetic
bored
cold
detached
distant
distracted
indi(erent
numb
removed
withdrawn

YEARNING
envious
jealous
longing
nostalgic
pining
wistful



Unfulfilled Feelings
Part Two:
Identifying and Tearing
Down Strongholds
Frank Meadows, LCSW
Meadows Healing Prayer Center

A belief not in line with Gods’ Word
Stronghold:
3 “For though we walk %live& in the flesh, we are not
carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using
mere human weapons.
4 For the weapons of our warfare are not physical
#weapons of flesh and blood$, but they are mighty before
God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,
5 #Inasmuch as we$ refute arguments and theories and
reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets
itself up against the #true$ knowledge of God; and we lead
every thought and purpose away captive into the
obedience of Christ %the Messiah, the Anointed One&,”
2 Corinthians 10:3-5
(Amplified Bible)

Our faulty beliefs not in line with Gods’
thoughts and ways
Stronghold:
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the
LORD. “For as the
heavens are higher
than the earth, So
are My ways higher
than your ways, And
My thoughts than
your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9 NKJV
It is the Lords’ “thoughts” #His beliefs$
and direct“ Word” that sets us free
through the healing
prayer process.
It's not just the
theological
understanding in
the rational part of
the mind.
Stronghold Definition:
1. A fortified place or a fortress.
2. A strongly fortified defensive structure

• Blockhouse " a
stronghold that is
reinforced for
protection from
enemy fire; with
apertures for
defensive fire.
• Citadel, Bastion " a stronghold into which
people could go for shelter during a battle.
Development of a
Mental Stronghold
Development of
a Stronghold
1. Sinful and Fallen World
We live in and are all born into a sinful, fallen world. We
are sinful at the core of our being and in need of a savior.
Parents are, at their best, imperfect and flawed and we
cannot help but be a(ected by the world we are born
into. Especially in the development of our belief systems.
Man and his sinful fallen state is capable of horrible atrocities,
genocide, slavery, murder, child abuse etc. As a result we are raised
in varying degrees of dysfunctional families. We are all wounded
in that process and make interpretations and form core beliefs
about the world and ultimately about who we are.
1. Sinful and Fallen World
2. Generational Family
Systems
5 "..... for I, the Lord your God, am a
jealous God, visiting the iniquity of
the fathers on the children, on the
third and the fourth generations of
those who hate Me,
6 but showing loving"kindness to
thousands, to those who love Me and
keep My commandments.”
Previous generations set precedent for who we become
genetically, spiritually and in our patterns of living.
Exodus 20:5-6
Exercise:
What are the generational patterns in
your family?

Divorce addictions, mental disorder lack
of nurture, being cut o(, physical
emotional sexual verbal abuse etc.
3. Development of
Foundational Belief Systems
of the Unrenewed Mind
Life events and circumstances + our
interpretation and internalization of these
beliefs + possible demonic magnification
and amplification of those beliefs = our
true experiential belief system rooted in
the experiential part of the mind.

Two Rooms of the Mind
The cognitive, rational room
is where I have a cognitive,
intellectual understanding,
where I study, think and
reason. I can cognitively,
logically know “God loves
me” or that my abuse as a
child “wasn’t my fault” yet
still “feel unlovable” and that
it was “my fault”.
A. Cognitive Room
The experiential part
of the mind is where
core beliefs begin and
develop . They are
rooted in memory
and in our early life
experiences and our
interpretation of
those events.
Two Rooms of the Mind
A. Experiential Room
A little girl is repeatedly
sexually abused and feels
helpless, terrified, confused and
powerless to stop it. She also feels
“dirty, bad, and shameful” and like
it was “her fault.” In the midst of
these terrible thoughts and feelings
she also feels some pleasure and
then feels even worse as if “she
caused it” or she is “bad and dirty"
because some of it felt good.
Examples:
4. Development of Internal
Defense Mechanisms
A. Defense
mechanisms are
thought to
safeguard the mind
against feelings
and thoughts that
are too di)cult for
the conscious
mind to cope with.
B. Denial, suppression %burying our pain&,
rationalization, intellectualization, repression,
projection %blaming others&, dissociation %the mind
automatically burying events, feelings, body memories etc.&
that are too painful to remember, feel and integrate,
%severe sexual, physical trauma, trauma based mind control&
Example:
I make a decision, “Not to trust
anyone, even God”, “I decide not to
feel” or even, “not to remember” a
painful or traumatic event."

The vow needs to be renounced
%undecided& while doing the healing
work in the memory."

C. Vows:
Making a vow is simply an internal decision, based
upon a lie that is merely one’s attempt to survive a
painful situation. “An internal defensive decision to
protect myself.”
E. Judgments

Demonization can occur as a
result of vows, curses,
judgments and unresolved
buried anger.


D. Curses

Something spoken or implied
by someone in authority over
the child especially %parents,
caretakers, teachers,
pastors,etc. &
5. DEVELOPMENT OF NUMBING,
AVOIDANT BEHAVIORS AND
SINFUL RESPONSES.
These unhealthy coping patterns develop as we experience deep
internal emotional pain connected to our internalized
strongholds or belief systems.
Addictions " drugs, alcohol,
compulsive eating, eating
disorders %anorexia, bulimia&,
sexual addiction %sexual
promiscuity and acting out&,
workaholic, perfectionism,
codependent, caretaking
enabling behaviors.
A. Primary emotions
B. Secondary emotions
6. Emotional Pain
B. I can find these strongholds by following the
trail of emotional pain that I am presently
experiencing in current conflicts and life
circumstances.
Emotional Pain-
The Best Lie Detector
A. Our current emotional pain, the places
and life situations where I am being
“triggered”, are the best indicators of
where our lie"based strongholds reside.
A. Primary Emotions %
Depression, hurt, grief, loss, anxiety,
rejection, panic disorders, fears, phobias,
guilt, shame, unworthiness, low self esteem.
Emotional Pain
B. Secondary Emotions " Anger, rage,
bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, vengeful
emotions.
Emotional Pain
Anger, rage, bitterness,
resentments,
unforgiveness, vengeful
emotions, reinforce the
walls of the stronghold.
Anger and resentment
need to be released in
order to heal as a result of
the mind renewal process.
B. Secondary Emotions
It is normal to be angry when
hurt, but we need to forgive
in order to be free
26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go
down on your anger,
27 and do not give the devil an opportunity………
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor
and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
32 Be kind to one another, tender"hearted,
forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has
forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:26,27, 31,32.
Secondary Emotions
Demonic Attachment " When anger and resentment
are released at the experiential level of memory, I
regularly see the demonic hold released as they choose
to appropriate the finished work of the cross as a result
of choosing to release their anger.
During World War Two when American planes
bombed our enemies, only a low percentage of
those bombs actually hit the target,
something like 6*. But with our modern
warfare technology such as the “Smart
Bombs”, we can almost precisely put a lethal
bomb from several hundred miles away
through a window of a building. Not that I am
excited about someone being bombed or
killed, but using that metaphorically we need
to be precise in identifying the strongholds.
We need to specifically target the faulty
beliefs and allow the Lord’s Word %Smart
bombs& to be sent into the well defended
stronghold and to reveal truth.
Bunker Busters

"For the weapons of our
warfare are not physical
#weapons of flesh and
blood$, but they are
mighty before God for
the overthrow and
destruction of
strongholds,"
Bunker Busters
2 Corinthians 10:4
Hebrews 4:12,13
(Amplified Bible)
12 For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power
#making it active, operative, energizing, and e(ective$; it is
sharper than any two"edged sword, penetrating to the dividing
line of the breath of life %soul& and #the immortal$ spirit, and of
joints and marrow #of the deepest
parts of our nature$, exposing
and sifting and analyzing and
judging the very thoughts and
purposes of the heart.
13 And not a creature exists that is
concealed from His sight, but all
things are open and exposed,
naked and defenseless to the eyes
of Him with Whom we have to do.
7. Physical Manifestations
of a Stronghold-
Mind/Body Connection
We often have physical symptoms or body
memories when we enter into a healing time
along with our emotional pain. For instance, one
may start to experience tightness in the chest,
shortness of breath, heart palpitations, pain in
the neck, back, body tension, stomach etc., as
current life situations are physically as well as,
emotionally triggering us. A painful belief
%stronghold& is being triggered as we react with
tension and body reactions when current
situations remind us of painful past memories.
“if you have been repeatedly
verbally, physically and/or sexually
abused as a child and throughout
your lifetime, then all the
thoughts associated with these
experiences will impact your
body causing triggered physical
reactions or body memory at
times as well as emotionally
triggered responses to
situations in the present that
are similar to the wounded
places in the past.”

8. Outward Manifestations
of a Stronghold
•Depression
•Anxiety
•Abandonment
•Addictions
•Sexual acting out
• Marital conflict
• Domestic violence
• Victimization
•A&airs
•Promiscuity
•Adultery
Addictions and Various
Emotional Conflicts
Exercise: Evaluating
and Finding your Lie
based beliefs.
8 Types of Lies
The lies people believe can be categorized
in lies people believe into eight
categories: fear, abandonment, shame,
tainted, hopelessness, invalidation,
powerlessness, and confusion. All of
these are “umbrella” categories that cover
many shades of lie"based emotions. All of
these like the colors these may have many
shades, subsets or categories.

Exercise:
Identifying and Rating your Lies


• “Something bad is going to happen.”
• “I am going to die.”
• “They are hurting me.”
• “If I tell, he will hurt me.”
• “If I trust, I will get hurt.”
• “It is just a matter of time before it happens again.”
• “They are going to get me.”
• “He is coming back to do it again.”
• “I cannot make a decision or something will go wrong.”
#Circle and rate from 0%10$
1. Fear Lies:


When people have experienced rejection and
abandonment, feeling alone etc.

• “I am abandoned.”
• “I am not needed.”
• “I am all alone.”
• “I will always be by myself.”
• “There is no one to protect me.”
• “God has forsaken me.”
• “No one will believe me.”
• “I have been betrayed by everyone.”
• Other?
2. Abandonment Lies:
3. Shame and Guilt Lies.
• “What happened was my fault.”
• “I caused her to act that way.”
• “I felt pleasure, so I wanted it.”
• “I am stupid, ignorant, an idiot for not_____.”
• “I should have done something to stop it from happening.”
• “If I had been a better child they would have never broke up.”
• “Had I been there he would not have died.” “I deserved it.”
• “I was a participant.”
• “I should have known better.”
• “I should have told someone.”
• “I knew what was going to happen, yet I stayed anyway.”
• “It happened because of my looks ... my gender ... my body.”
• “I did not try to run away.”
• “I am a murderer for having that abortion.” “I am cheap.”
• “I kept going back.”
• “I did it to him/her first.”
4. Tainted Lies
• “I am shameful, nasty, and dirty because of what happened.”

The tainted category of lies shows up in statements
such as:

• “I am dirty...shameful...evil...perverted because of what
happened to me.”
• “My life is ruined. I will never feel clean again.”
• “Everyone can see my shame…filth...dirtiness.”
• “I will always be hurt…damaged...broken because of what
has happened.”
• “I will never be happy because this has happened.”
• “My body is dirty.”
• “What he did marked me for life.”
• “I can never be the same after what happened.”
• Other?
• "My only escape is to die.”
• "It is never going to get any better.”
• “There is no way out.”
• “There is no good thing for me.”
• “I have no reason to live.”
• “The only option I have is death.”
• “There are no options available to me.”
• “There is nothing that I can do.”
5. Hopeless Lies


• “I know what needs to be done, but I am
powerless to do it.”
• “I need to take care of people, but I can’t.”
• “They are too strong for me to resist.”
• “I am overwhelmed.”
• “I am too little to make it stop.”
• “Everything is out of control.”
• “I am pulled from every direction.”
• “I am too small...weak...helpless to do anything.”
6. Powerlessness Lies

• “I am unlovable.”
• “I am not needed.”
• “I am worthless.”
• “I don’t matter.”
• “I was a mistake and I should have never been born.”
• “I am in the way.”
• “Girls are less important than boys.”
• “Boys are less important that girls.”
• “God could never love or accept me.”
• “I am defective.”
• “There is something wrong with me.”
7. Invalidation Lies
A. Memory based %
• “Why would that adult do something like that to me”?
• "I don't understand.”

B. Possible preverbal %
• Young child unable to understand. Now as adult in
healing session capable of understanding.

C. Demonic interference %
Based on persons inner need to, avoid looking at
memory or ,"not willing to go there"


8. Confusion Lies:
Finding God in Grief and Loss,
The Pathway to Wholeness 
Frank Meadows, LCSW
MeadowsHealingPrayerCenter.com
Big House Church
October 13, 2013
1.Dealing with grief
and loss is the
essence of why
people come for
healing and
counseling
sessions.
a.# Death of a parent, spouse, child or loved one,
stillborn child, abortion
b.# Aging, Sickness, childhood disabilities, illnesses
c.# Lost Opportunities: “I wish I would have....”, “I wish I
would have finished college”, “I wish I had been
there for my children more often”, “Regrets, divorce, lost
opportunities”
d.# Life transitions: entering adolescence, leaving home,
getting married, moving, military transitions, beginning
college, leaving college, midlife crisis, separation and
divorce, children being born, children leaving home,
retirement, old-age
e.# Lost Kingdom opportunities: I wish I would have gone
into the area of ministry I was called to. Life compromises,
missed Gods' best for me. Marrying the wrong person, etc.
2. The problem is that we bury,
suppress, deny, spiritualize
our pain and grief.  
3. So what do we do? How do we
effectively process our grief, walk by
faith and live life to the fullest? 
4. Grief and Loss Timeline
Exercise  
0 15 30 60 45
5. Stages of Grief 
6. Biblical Kingdom Perspective
about Grief and Loss: 
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the
Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to
comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with
which we ourselves are comforted by God.
5 For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so
also our comfort is abundant through Christ.
6 But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if
we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the
patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer;
2 Corinthians 1:3-10 (NASB)
7 and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are
sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort.
8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction
which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond
our strength, so that we despaired even of life;
9 indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we
would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;
10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver
us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,
7. Finding meaning in loss:  
1 “…He has sent Me to heal the
brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty
to the captives, And the opening of
the prison to those who are bound;
2…To comfort all who mourn,
3 To console those who mourn in
Zion, To give them beauty for
ashes, The oil of joy for
mourning, The garment of praise
for the spirit of heaviness;”
Isaiah 61:1-3 (NKJV)
1 Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the
town of Mary and her sister Martha…
3 Therefore the sisters sent to Him, saying, “Lord,
behold, he whom You love is sick”.
4 When Jesus heard that, He said, “This sickness is not
unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of
God may be glorified through it”.
5 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus…
9 Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours in the day?
If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble,
because he sees the light of this world.
8. The Story of Lazarus 
John 11:1-40 (NKJV)
10 But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the
light is not in him…”
14 Then Jesus said to them plainly, “Lazarus is dead.
15 And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, that
you may believe. Nevertheless let us go to him…”
17 So when Jesus came, He found that he had already
been in the tomb four days…
21 Then Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if You had been
here, my brother would not have died.
22 But even now I know that whatever You ask of God,
God will give You."
23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again”.
(Note that she had faith but lacked a kingdom perspective)
24 Martha said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the
resurrection at the last day”.
25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.
He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.
26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do
you believe this?”…
32 Then, when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him,
she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had
been here, my brother would not have died”…
39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone”. Martha, the sister of
him who was dead, said to Him, “Lord, by this time there is a
stench, for he has been dead four days”.
40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you would
believe you would see the glory of God?”
43 Now when He had said these
things, He cried with a loud voice,
“Lazarus, come forth!”
44 And he who had died came out
bound hand and foot with grave
clothes, and his face was wrapped
with a cloth. Jesus said to them,
“Loose him, and let him go”.
45 Then many of the Jews who had
come to Mary, and had seen the
things Jesus did, believed in Him.
41 Then they took away the stone from the place where the
dead man was lying. And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said,
“Father, I thank You that You have heard Me.
42 And I know that You always hear Me, but because of
the people who are standing by I said this, that they may
believe that You sent Me”.
“He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of
sorrows and acquainted with grief…Surely He
has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows,…
Isaiah 53:3,4 (NKJV)
“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn
through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered
in your ledger, each ache written in your book”.
Psalm 56:8 (MSG)
“How long will You forget me, O Lord? Forever? How long
will You hide Your face from me? How long must I lay up
cares within me and have sorrow in my heart day after day?
How long shall my enemy exalt himself over me? Consider
and answer me, O Lord my God; lighten the eyes [of my faith
to behold Your face in the pitchlike darkness], lest I sleep the
sleep of death, Lest my enemy say, I have prevailed over him,
and those that trouble me rejoice when I am shaken.
“I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms—I’m
celebrating your rescue. I’m singing at the top of my
lungs, I’m so full of answered prayers”.
Psalm 13:1-4 (AMP)
Psalm 13:5,6 (MSG)
Frank Meadows, LCSW
Meadows Healing Prayer Center
Chesapeake, Virginia
Leadership META formation
Living from the Heart
A. I would like to present to you a highly
efective, spirit led, healing prayer approach
that brings healing, restoration and mind
renewal to past painful memories that are
manifesting in current conficts.
I. Identifying the Problem
B. Te concepts that I want to share have
been adapted from theophostic healing
prayer. Tis is not theophostic training
and I will not call it that, but for our
purposes “mind renewing, holy spirit
led healing prayer”.
C. Triggered emotional reactions: when a
person we are ministering to or coaching is
stirred up emotionally, stuck, unable to move
forward, having an overreaction, and their
productivity is hindered, what do you do?
E. As a life coach when someone you are coaching is
stirred up and unable to move forward. Tese are
appropriate occasions to shif gears into a healing
prayer mode.
D. As a pastor or leader, what do you do when there's
an interpersonal confict with a staf or church
member where one or both of you are stirred up
and emotionally overreacting?
F. Holy Spirit Led Healing Principles
! How to get to root issues by helping them
to follow the trail of their pain to the
source and origin.
! Lie based beliefs connected to
emotionally triggered responses.
! Lie based beliefs are stored in past
memory containers connected to present
emotionally triggered responses.
II. The Basic Premise of Mind
Renewing Healing Prayer:
o Lie based thinking is formed and rooted in the core
foundational part of the mind typically in earlier painful
childhood memory events. In these earlier childhood events
we make interpretations and they become core foundational
beliefs. Tis is evidenced by our emotional pain when a
similar event or emotion is tapped into later in life.
A. Lie Based Tinking.
o People have emotional pain because of their lie
based thinking.
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he”. Proverbs 23:7
B. Triggered emotions (defnition): a triggered emotion is
an emotional overreaction to a here and now life event,
situation or circumstance. Te life situations that a
person is triggered by or emotionally overreacting to in
their day-to-day life is evidence of where their lie based
thinking is rooted. We help them follow the trail of their
emotional pain to their past memories where core
foundational beliefs were put in place.
C. Lie based core beliefs
o Follow the emotional trail to the memory.
o Feel through the memory asking question
about the painful emotion to:
o Determine the lie based belief.
o Ask Jesus through the Holy Spirit to reveal
truth to the core beliefs or lies that are located
or rooted in the past memory containers.
D. Only a truth encounter, a now word in the
root memories by Jesus through the Holy
Spirit, will set one free as they receive a
revelation of truth.
1. Te cognitive room: the head, rational,
logical, or intellectual.
E. Tere are Two Rooms in the Mind
2. Te experiential room: Te heart or
subconscious, place of past memory
events, where core lies are rooted.
COGNITIVE
EXPERIENTIAL
3. Tis means I can cognitively or intellectually know
the truth yet experientially in the core,
subconscious part of my mind not know or
experience the truth and therefore not be free.
4. We live and react from the experiential part of our
mind. To be truly free we need a truth encounter
with the Lord in the memories where the core
beliefs are rooted.
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”.
John 8:36 (NIV)
III. The Healing Prayer
Process
A. Opening prayer: invite
the Holy Spirit and His
Healing Presence in a
short prayer.
B. Have them close their eyes and tune
into and feel their current
uncomfortable emotions, body
tension, or sensations or
any images they are presently
experiencing and
feel them.
C. Verbally reinforce the emotions and
sensations that they have expressed.
Never suggest, just reinforce what
they expressed to you.
D. Have them disengage from
the cognitive, logical,
analytical part of their mind.
COGNITIVE
E. Tune into, connect and feel their stirred
up triggered emotions in the emotional,
experiential room of the mind.
EXPERIENTIAL
F. Free will and choice
G. Help them connect with and feel their
painful and uncomfortable emotions.
Encourage them to allow their mind to drif
back, leave the present and go wherever
their mind goes, to the memories that
surface. Encourage them not to try to
analyze it or try to fgure it out.
H. Anchor them in the memory.
As memories come across their mental screen,
encourage them to go to those memories the best
they can, at the age that they are in the memory.
P.M. Asks, “What do you feel in the memory
as 10-year-old bobby, (now 45) where
Mom and Dad are fghting?”
P.R. “I feel scared and helpless as if I’m too
little to do anything about it”.
P.M. “Why do you, as little bobby feel scared?”
P.R. “I feel scared because I’m afraid Dad is
going to hurt Mom and me”.
I. Help them walk through the memory
picture. Continue to anchor and keep
them grounded there.
J. Invite Jesus into the memory afer they have
looked through and processed the whole
memory (the prayer minister has written down
the feelings and beliefs). Have them feel the
emotions and embrace the lie based beliefs they
have reported to you as you
speak them out loud.
Lif them up one by one unto
the Lord as they stay anchored
in the memory and ask Jesus to
communicate truth.
P.M. “Bobby, what’s Jesus communicating to you by standing
between your Mom and Dad?”
(We should not interject or interpret what is happening
but allow the prayer recipient to communicate and
interpret directly from the Lord.)
P.R. “I sense He is communicating that I’m not helpless. I am
feeling empowered, bigger in the memory
and not afraid”.
Example
P.M. Bobby focus on feeling scared and helpless as you stay
anchored in the memory picture.
“Jesus, what do you want little Bobby to know about being
scared and helpless as his parents are fghting?”
P.R. “I see Jesus standing between me and my Mom and Dad.”
K. Release any anger, bitterness or resentment that
may be housed in the memory picture. Say a
prayer to release the anger and then to forgive.
“Lord I release the anger, hatred and resentment I
feel towards ________ for __________ and I release
it to you and ask you to take it in Jesus name”.
As the anger is released I
have them speak
forgiveness toward the
person who ofended them.
L. We follow the same steps through any other
memories that surfaced during the time of
prayer. Help them remove any blocks such as
anger, vows etc.
M. End the session with a closing prayer
sealing in the work that has been done
and asking Jesus to bless what He's doing
in their lives in Jesus name.
DEEP HEALING
DEEP FORGIVENESS
Irank Meadovs, LCSW
Meadovs HeaIing Irayer Cenler
MeadovsHeaIingIrayerCenler.com
1. We all struggle with
anger bitterness,
hatred, resentment,
vengeance and
unforgiveness.
2. When a hurtful situation in
the present taps into a deeper,
similar type of past hurt, we are
“triggered” or have an
overreaction.
3.What does scripture say
about forgiving others?


Iorgiveness is nol an
o¡lion bul a
command lhal has
dire consequences
for refusing lo
genuineIy forgive. 

14 |cr ij qcu jcrgitc cincrs jcr 
incir iransgrcssicns, qcur 
ncatcn|q |aincr ui|| a|sc 
jcrgitc qcu. 15 Bui ij qcu !c 
nci jcrgitc cincrs, incn qcur 
|aincr ui|| nci jcrgitc qcur 
iransgrcssicns.
Matthew 6:12,14,15
12 An! jcrgitc us cur !c|is, as uc a|sc 
natc jcrgitcn cur !c|icrs. 
1. When deeper hurt is involved
e.g. church s¡Iil, divorce, geuing hred,  
 someone hurls our famiIy 
 
2. When a present hurt taps
into a deeper, similar
past hurt and we
are “triggered”
or we have an
overreaction.
A Innthn!d Ieads evenluaIIy lo a strnnghn!d.
3. Consequences of Suppressed
Anger and Unforgiveness
“|n qcur angcr !c nci 
sin.” Oc nci |ci inc sun 
gc !cun uni|c qcu arc 
sii|| angrq, an! !c nci 
gitc inc !cti| a jccinc|!. 
I¡hesians 4:26-27 (NIV)  
Icck ajicr cacn cincr sc inai ncnc cj qcu jai|s ic rcccitc inc 
gracc cj Gc!. Waicn cui inai nc pciscncus rcci cj 
|iucrncss grcus up ic ircu||c qcu, ccrrupiing nanq. 
Hebrevs 12:15 (NLT)

a. Depression
b.  Oppression
loss or diminishing of
spiritual direction, anointing
and Divine Purpose.
c. Sickness
d. Spiritual Deadness
5piritua!!y and cmntinna!!y wc 
gct nut nI a!ignmcnt, snmcthing's 
nut nI p!acc, nut nI |nint and wc 
nccd tn bc REALIGNED with 
Gnd's Wnrd lo be reaIigned vilh
lhe ¡romises of God lo be honesl
vilh ourseIves and lo lrusl lhe
Lord lo go dee¡. 


4. Spiritual Realignment, Tune Up
Chirnpractnr ÷ IhysicaI, s¡inaI aIignmenl. I go in
every 2 lo 4 veeks lo gel my seIf rca!igncd I'm
oul of aIignmenl in my s¡ine and back vhen
somelhing is oul of ¡Iace 
5. Unresolved anger, resentment
and unforgiveness rooted in past
(childhood) wounds, hurts,
offenses and abuses cause us
difficulty in dealing with anger
and breakthrough with forgiveness
in our present circumstances.
16 Bui | saq, ua|k an! |itc 
(na|iiua||q) in inc (Hc|q) 
Spirii (rcspcnsitc ic an! 
ccnirc||c! an! gui!c! |q inc 
Spirii), incn qcu ui|| ccriain|q
nci graiijq inc cratings an! 
!csircs cj inc ßcsn (cj nunan 
naiurc uiincui Gc!).
Galatians 5:15-16
15 Bui ij qcu |iic an! !ctcur cnc ancincr (in pariisan 
sirijc), |c carcju| inai qcu (an! qcur unc|c jc||cusnip) arc 
nci ccnsunc! |q cnc ancincr.
We have supprcsscd, have ¡ushed dovn, rcprcsscd 
and in some scvcrc dissnciatcd trauma nol onIy
emolions such as angcr, ragc and biucrncss bul in
some cases lhe memories lhemseIves e.g. Ieader slory.  
6. Deep Wounds Require
Deep Healing
Bcnc|!, Ycu !csirc !"#!$ in inc &'()"* +)"!,, An! in inc
$&**-' +)"! Ycu ui|| nakc nc ic kncu uis!cn.
IsaIm 51:6 (NK}V)

7. So how do we begin our healing
journey and begin to release anger,
bitterness, resentment and move
towards deep, genuine forgiveness?
a. When ve are hurl, oßended or
 abused, ve hrsl res¡ond vilh
 primary cmntinns and may Icc! 
hurt, s!ightcd, inva!idatcd, 
wnrth!css nr rc|cctcd elc. 
b. We lhen ve quickIy res¡ond vilh lhe
 sccnndary cmntinns nI angcr vhich may
 simmer inlo resenlmenl, halred, rage, biuerness
 and even  vengefuI emolions and inlenlions. 
1. This is where we get stuck in dealing with forgiveness.

2. This is where the liar and deceiver enters in with many lies.
“God wasn’t there for you”
Sc inc grcai !ragcn uas casi cui, inai scrpcni cj c|!, ca||c! 
inc .-/&0 )'* 1)!)'2 ($3 *-4-&/-, !$- ($30- (3"0*, nc 
uas casi ic inc carin, an! nis angc|s ucrc casi cui uiin nin. 
Rcvc!atinn 12:9 (NKJV)
c. The ¡robIem is lhal angcr and unInrgivcncss 
may |ust bc thc tip nI thc iccbcrg so lo s¡eak.
And our unforgiveness, biuerness and hurl
becomes an o¡¡orlunily lo aIIov, as lhe Word
says "a!! things wnrk tngcthcr Inr Inr gnnd."
1. How do you know if you need it? You will be stuck and unable to
breakthrough as your present hurt us rooted in past unresolved hurt.
2. See articles at MeadowsHealingPrayerCenter.com
d. When ve are hurl, ve
 are given lhe choice and
 shouId choose forgiveness
 and Iife, HeaIing (HeaIing
 Irayer) Anger ReIease,
 Iorgiveness CycIe 
e. Ynu may wc!! bcncñt 
Irnm dccpcr Thcnphnstic 
Hca!ing Praycr, dca!ing
with thc past hurts, wnunds and abuscs.
Ajicr nc na! |uric! nis jaincr, jcscpn rciurnc! ic |gqpi, nc an! nis 
|rcincrs, an! a|| unc na! gcnc up uiin nin ic |urq nis jaincr. Wncn 
jcscpn´s |rcincrs sau inai incir jaincr uas !ca!, incq sai!, ´Wnai ij jcscpn 
|cars a gru!gc againsi us an! paqs us |ack in ju|| jcr a|| inc urcng unicn 
uc !i! ic nin!´ Sc incq scni a ncssagc ic jcscpn, saqing, ´Ycur jaincr 
cnargc! |cjcrc nc !ic!, saqing, ´Tnus qcu sna|| saq ic jcscpn, ´P|casc 
jcrgitc, | |cg qcu, inc iransgrcssicn cj qcur |rcincrs an! incir sin, jcr incq 
!i! qcu urcng.´´ An! ncu, p|casc jcrgitc inc iransgrcssicn cj inc scrtanis 
cj inc Gc! cj qcur jaincr.´ An! jcscpn ucpi uncn incq spckc ic nin. Tncn 
nis |rcincrs a|sc canc an! jc|| !cun |cjcrc nin (prophetic word fulfilled -
some of you have long given up on the things God spoke to you
and prophetic words given) an! sai!, ´Bcnc|!, uc arc qcur scrtanis.´
I. But Gnd mcant it Inr gnnd princip!c
Genesis 50:14-18
´As jcr qcu, qcu ncani cti| againsi nc, |ui Gc! ncani ii jcr gcc! in 
cr!cr ic |ring a|cui inis prcscni rcsu|i, ic prcscrtc nanq pccp|c a|itc´. 
Genesis 50:20
´5, 63" 73#2 73# 8-)'! -/&0 )9)&',! 8-2 :#! ;3* 8-)'!
&! 63" 933* in cr!cr ic |ring a|cui inis prcscni rcsu|i, ic 
prcscrtc nanq pccp|c a|itc. Sc incrcjcrc, !c nci |c ajrai!, | 
ui|| prcti!c jcr qcu an! qcur |iu|c cncs.´ Sc nc ccnjcric! 
incn an! spckc kin!|q ic incn. Ncu jcscpn siaqc! in |gqpi, 
nc an! nis jaincr´s ncuscnc|!, an! jcscpn |itc! cnc nun!rc! 
an! icn qcars. jcscpn sau inc inir! gcncraiicn cj |pnrain´s 
scns, a|sc inc scns cj Macnir, inc scn cj Manasscn, ucrc 
|crn cn jcscpn´s knccs. jcscpn sai! ic nis |rcincrs, ´| an 
a|cui ic !ic, |ui Gc! ui|| surc|q iakc carc cj qcu an! |ring 
qcu up jrcn inis |an! ic inc |an! unicn Hc prcnisc! cn cain 
ic A|ranan, ic |saac an! ic jacc|´. Tncn jcscpn na!c inc 
scns cj |srac| sucar, saqing, ´;3* (&00 ,#"-07 !)<- 4)"- 36
73#2 )'* 73# sna|| carrq nq |cncs up jrcn ncrc´. Sc jcscpn 
!ic! ai inc agc cj cnc nun!rc! an! icn qcars, an! nc uas 
cn|a|nc! an! p|acc! in a cc[n in |gqpi. 
Genesis 50: 20-26 (NASB)
26 Iikcuisc inc Spirii a|sc nc|ps in cur ucakncsscs. |cr uc 
!c nci kncu unai uc sncu|! praq jcr as uc cugni, |ui inc 
Spirii Hinsc|j nakcs inicrccssicn jcr us uiin grcanings 
unicn cannci |c uucrc!. 27 Ncu Hc unc scarcncs inc 
ncaris kncus unai inc nin! cj inc Spirii is, |ccausc Hc 
nakcs inicrccssicn jcr inc sainis acccr!ing ic inc ui|| cj 
Gc!. 28 An! uc kncu inai a|| inings ucrk icgcincr jcr 
gcc! ic incsc unc |ctc Gc!, ic incsc unc arc inc ca||c! 
acccr!ing ic His purpcsc. 29 |cr uncn Hc jcrckncu, Hc 
a|sc prc!csiinc! ic |c ccnjcrnc! ic inc inagc cj His Scn, 
inai Hc nigni |c inc µrsi|crn ancng nanq |rcinrcn.
"A!! things wnrking tngcthcr Inr gnnd" 
Romans 8:26-29 (NKJV)
FORGIVENESS PRAYER
Lord I have been hurl by and oßended by _________ (lheir name) and vhal lhey did lo me
or lo olhers cIose lo me _________ (lhe oßense) . I feeI hurl, re|ecled and oßended by
_________ (vhal lhey did lo me). I am aIso very angry, enraged, I feeI halred, biuerness and
resenlmenl and even lhe need for revenge and ¡ayback for vhal lhey have done. 
 
Lord, I choose as an acl of my viII lo give you my anger, biuerness, halred, resenlmenl and
need for revenge lo you }esus and I ask you lo lake il fuIIy and com¡IeleIy in }esus name.
(When lhe anger is reIeased and you feeI lhe Lord has Iifled il lhen move on lo forgiveness.
If you feeI resislance lo Ieuing go Iislen invardIy and ask yourseIf vhal vouId il feeI Iike
for il lo be gone vhal's nol okay aboul reIeasing il` Then asked }esus lo s¡eak lo you al lhis
momenl aboul vhal he vanl you lo knov aboul lhose beIiefs or reasons for for hoIding on
lo lhe anger. Then choose lo reIease il lo Him and Iel him lake il). 
 
I choose lo forgive __________ (lheir name) for lhe oßenses and lhings lhey have done lo
me or vay lhey have hurl, vounded or oßended lhose cIose lo me. _____________ (lheir
name) , I choose lo forgive you and reIease you and I ¡ray God vouId bIess you and heaI
your Iife and bring reconciIialion if ¡ossibIe in our reIalionshi¡ in }esus name! 
Prayer to Forgive and Release Others