How to Get Your Ex Lover Back

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How To Get Your Ex Lover Back!

Legal Notice:- This digital eBook is for infor ational !ur!oses onl"# $hile ever" atte !t has %een ade to verif" the infor ation !rovided in this re!ort& neither the author& !u%lisher nor the arketer assu e an" res!onsi%ilit" for errors or o issions# 'n" slights of !eo!le or organi(ations are unintentional and the develo! ent of this eBook is %ona fide# The !roducer and arketer have no intention whatsoever to conve" an" idea affecting the re!utation of an" !erson or %usiness enter!rise# The trade arks& screen-shots& we%site links& !roducts and services entioned in this eBook are co!"righted %" their res!ective owners# This eBook has %een distri%uted with the understanding that we are not engaged in rendering technical& legal& edical& accounting or other !rofessional advice# $e do not give an" kind of guarantee a%out the accurac" of infor ation !rovided# )n no event will the author and*or arketer %e lia%le for an" direct& indirect& incidental& conse+uential or other loss or da age arising out of the use of the infor ation in this docu ent %" an" !erson& regardless of whether or not infor ed of the !ossi%ilit" of da ages in advance# Thank "ou for "our attention to this essage#

Table of Contents
Introduction ..................................................................4 Chapter One - The Break-Up............................................9 Chapter Two - The Post Breakup Phone Call......................18 Chapter Three - The Coffee ate.....................................!" ate..................!& Chapter #our - The Post Breakup $eetin%

Chapter #i'e - ('oid The #riend Trap................................") Chapter *i+ - ,ow To -et Confidence .............................."! Chapter *e'en - .le/ents Of 0o'e.................................."4 Chapter .i%ht - Beha'ior To ('oid .................................."1 Chapter 2ine - ( True *uccess *tor3 ...............................41

Introduction
The worst pain i/a%ina4le is ha'in% so/eone that 3ou lo'e tell 3ou that the3 don5t want to see 3ou an3/ore. I6 personall36 would rather ha'e /3 le%s a/putated without anesthesia than %o throu%h this t3pe of pain. It5s happened to /e6 it5s happened to 3ou and 7ust a4out an3one else who has e'er 4een fortunate enou%h to fall in lo'e. (s 3ou are sittin% around with 3our heart feelin% like it5s 4een ripped out of 3our chest and fried up with li'er and 4acon6 like so/ethin% ,anni4al 0ector would eat6 people will 4e tellin% 3ou the followin%8 • • • • • 9ou will %et o'er it ,e:*he was no %ood for 3ou Ti/e heals all wounds $o'e on ;/3 personal fa'orite< It is his loss - 3ou were wa3 too %ood for hi/ ;or her6 howe'er the case /a3 4e<. These are all tried and true thin%s that people sa3 to tr3 to /ake 3ou feel 4etter. *o/e people will 4e 4old enou%h to start trash talkin% 3our e+ lo'er and tellin% 3ou how the3 ne'er liked his ears6 how he was alwa3s 4urpin% in front of people and how he /ade a pla3 for the/ when he was drunk at last 3ear5s Christ/as part3. This does not /ake 3ou feel 4etter. (s a /atter of fact6 nothin% that an3one sa3s can /ake 3ou feel 4etter. 0et5s face it - 3our heart has 4een ripped out and tra/pled on. (nd no one can sa3 an3thin% to chan%e that. .+cept /e. I can tell 3ou

so/ethin% that can /ake 3ou feel 4etter 4ecause I can tell 3ou how to %et 3our e+ lo'er 4ack. The first ti/e I tried this6 I was 19 3ears old. I had a 4o3friend who I liked 4ut I could tell that his interest in /e was wanin%. I i//ediatel3 felt that this was 4ecause of the fact that I wouldn5t put out. But the truth of the /atter was that I was too clin%3. I 4e%an 43 likin% hi/ a little6 started to like hi/ a lot and started to show /3 feelin%s. The /ore he pulled awa36 the /ore clin%3 I 4eca/e. It reall3 didn5t help /atters that he li'ed across the street. It also didn5t help /atters that his /other see/ed to want us to %et /arried and would often tell hi/ what a %reat cook I was and how I helped /3 /other around the house. This was especiall3 shockin% 4ecause I was neither a %reat cook and ne'er lifted a fin%er to help /3 /other. ,is /o/ liked /e6 thou%h and I %uess wanted to %et her !) 3ear old son out of the house. (n3wa36 I could feel hi/ pullin% awa3 4ut see/ed powerless to do an3thin% a4out /3 clin%iness6 althou%h I was s/art enou%h to know6 e'en at that 3oun% a%e6 that it was dri'in% hi/ awa3. The ni%ht finall3 ca/e where he said the fatal words - =>e ha'e to talk.? I knew what was co/in% and6 at that /o/ent6 decided to enact a plan to %et hi/ 4ack. .'en as he was %i'in% /e the a+e6 so to speak6 I was thinkin% of a wa3 to %et /3 e+ lo'er 4ack. Technicall36 he was not /3 lo'er6 I was %ood %irl6 4ut 3ou %et the point. >hen he told /e that he wanted to stop %oin% out6 I shru%%ed it off

and said =oka36 no 4i%%ie.? Inside6 I felt like a he put a knife ri%ht throu%h /e6 4ut I /ana%ed to keep /3 cool. ,e was shocked. ,e had 4een so sure of the fact that I was clin%3 and need3 ;and I was6 so he wasn5t wron%< that he was reall3 taken a4ack. (nd said so. ,e then told /e how he didn5t want to %et /arried. I told hi/ that that was not /3 intention6 I was onl3 19 and had a lot of li'in% to do. I then proceeded to %et out of the car and walk to /3 door. Before I could %et to the door6 he %ra44ed /e and kissed /e. This was odd6 4ut I continued with /3 plan. I wasn5t sure how this was %oin% to work6 4ut I knew that whate'er else happened6 I still had /3 pride. The ne+t /ornin%6 I sta3ed ho/e fro/ work and spent the da3 throwin% up and alternatel3 lookin% out the window for his car. I was deter/ined to %et hi/ 4ack6 4ut didn5t know how. I /ade a few /istakes. I /ade /3self too a'aila4le at the house 4ecause I was friendl3 with his sister. ,e saw /e there and I acted ner'ous when I saw hi/. I also 'isited with his /other. *he was on /3 side. ,e see/ed aloof. *o/ethin% interceded that helped /e6 althou%h I didn5t know it at the ti/e. I /et another 4o3friend. I started to %o out with the other 4o3friend and took /3 /ind off of /3 e+ lo'er across the street. One da36 I was outside washin% /3 car and he ca/e o'er to chat. (nd low and 4ehold6 he asked /e out on a date@ I wasn5t e'en tr3in% to %et

4ack with hi/ at that point. I told hi/ I was 4us3 on the ni%ht he asked /e out 4ut could /ake it another ti/e. (%ain6 I acted uni/pressed6 4ut inside /3 heart was leapin%. ,e asked /e out for another ni%ht and I said =sure6 I don5t care.? >e %ot 4ack to%ether. This ti/e6 I 'owed not to act clin%3 or need3. The relationship did not last6 4ut when we parted wa3s a 3ear or so later6 we did so as friends and it was a /utual decision. >hen so/eone 4reaks up with 3ou6 the3 often 4reak 3our heart. The last thin% 3ou want to hear is how 3ou will /end. 9es6 3ou will /end e'entuall36 4ut this is not the ti/e for an3one to sa3 thin%s like =ti/e heals all wounds? 4ecause it reall3 doesn5t help at all. 9ou are 4etter off dissin% the e+. The funn3 thin% is that people 4reak up and %et 4ack to%ether all of the ti/e. This is no 4i% deal. $3 son 7ust %ot 4ack with his e+ %irlfriend who he dated for o'er a 3ear and with who/ he had 4roken up with for nearl3 a 3ear. ,e was de'astated at the 4reakup6 4ut used the ad'ice in this 4ook and won her 4ack. Think a4out it - if so/eone liked 3ou enou%h to %o out with 3ou for a while and continue a relationship for /ore than a few dates6 there was so/ethin% there. There can 4e a 'ariet3 of different reasons wh3 he or she 4roke the relationship. In /ost cases6 one person is /o'in% alon% too Auickl3 for the other person. In other words6 3ou are not 4oth on the sa/e track. The person who is /o'in% too Auickl3 has to slow down and %et on track with the other part3 and %et the/ to /o'e alon% a little in order for the reunion to work. This is not difficult and

happens all of the ti/e. If 3ou follow the rules. This 4ook will take 3ou step 43 step and teach 3ou how to %et 3our e+ lo'er 4ack. This is not =stalkin%.? This is not o4session. This is not e'en unhealth3. This is si/pl3 a4out %ettin% %i'in% 3ourself another chance at so/ethin% that 3ou want. The /indset to =%i'e up? is not a %ood one to ha'e. 9ou need to 4e a little persistent if 3ou want to %et thin%s done in life. 9ou also ha'e to know where to draw the line at persistence. 9ou certainl3 do not want to %i'e 3our attention to so/eone who is tellin% 3ou to %et lost. #ollow the e+a/ples of this 4ook and 3ou will understand e+actl3 how 3ou can %o a4out %ettin% 4ack 3our e+ lo'er and keepin% hi/ or her for %ood.

Chapter One - The Break Up
,ow 3ou handle the 4reak up is an i/portant aspect as to the strate%3 that 3ou will ha'e to take when %ettin% 4ack 3our e+ lo'er. If 3ou cried6 threatened suicide6 %ot 'iolent or prett3 /uch caused a scene6 3ou did so/e da/a%e to 3our chances at a reunion. (lthou%h 3ou did not /ake it i/possi4le to %et 3our e+ lo'er 4ack. 2othin% is i/possi4le if 3ou set 3our /ind to it. The 4reak up should not 4lindside 3ou. If 3ou are in tune with the relationship6 3ou will see it co/in% a /ile awa3. ,e or she will suddenl3 4e =4us3? a lot of the ti/e. The3 will not call 3ou as often or return 3our calls. The3 will see/ e/otionall3 distant. 2aturall36 the /ore the3 4eha'e this wa36 the /ore 3ou want to 4e assured that the3 are still in lo'e with 3ou. 9ou will start pushin% the/ and the3 will continue to 4ack awa3. This is the dance of death in a relationship. If 3ou can /ana%e to stop this dance of death and 4ack off6 3ou /a3 ha'e a chance of a'oidin% the 4reak up. 9our lo'er will 4e perple+ed at 3our sudden chan%e of heart and /a3 start to actuall3 pursue 3ou. ,owe'er6 if 3ou are like 99 percent of people6 3ou will find it 'er3 difficult to control 3our e/otions in such a case. 9ou know 3ou shouldn5t call6 4ut 3ou can5t stop 3our fin%ers fro/ dialin%. *o the fateful da3 co/es and he or she tells 3ou that the3 need to =talk.? This is if 3ou are luck3. *o/e people toda3 are 4reakin% up 43 e-/ail and 43 te+t /essa%e as a cowardl3 wa3 to a'oid confrontation.

If the person is trul3 worth %ettin% 4ack and 3ou ha'e 4een datin% the/ for a si%nificant a/ount of ti/e6 the3 will ha'e the decenc3 to tell 3ou to 3our face. >hene'er 3ou hear =we need to talk6? it is usuall3 not %ood news. It usuall3 /eans that 3our lo'er wants to end the relationship. This is a 4i% cue on which 3ou ha'e to pick up. It also /eans that 3ou put phase I of 3our plan on how to %et 3our e+ lo'er 4ack into action. 9ou ha'e to think Auick in order to do this. (ct like the 4reakup doesn5t concern 3ou. o not cr3. o not plead.

o not do an3thin% that rese/4les 4e%%in%. 9ou are not a do% and he or she should 4e luck3 to ha'e 3ou. Think like that and act as if it is no 4i% deal. It will ha'e an i/pact. If 3ou are afraid to do this 4ecause that 3ou think if 3ou plead and 4e% the3 will see how /uch the3 /ean to 3ou and chan%e their feelin%s6 the3 won5t. There is onl3 one wa3 to %et the/ to chan%e their /ind and that is to throw a wrench into the works. The3 think the3 ha'e 3ou all fi%ured out. 9ou throw the/ for a loop with 3our nonchalant attitude towards the entire thin% and the3 are totall3 taken off %uard. This takes so/e actin%6 4ut 3ou can pull it off. Bust think of 3our %oal6 which is how 3ou are %oin% to %et the/ 4ack. 9ou can add the =I hope we can still 4e friends? 4it in there. This is alwa3s %ood for %ood /easure. (nd it helps if 3ou are not threatenin% the/ with curses and ph3sical a4use when 3ou sa3 this. The =we can 4e friends? is a nice6 adult wa3 to end a ro/antic relationship. It also keeps the door open.

$ost /en will sa3 this auto/aticall36 unless 3ou ha'e 4eha'ed like -lenn Close5s character in =#atal (ttraction.? $en rarel3 like to toss an3thin% out6 especiall3 wo/en. This is wh3 the3 ha'e little 4lack 4ooks. >o/en6 on the other hand6 are less apt to want to =sta3 friends? with a %u3 with who/ the35'e 4roken up. The3 /a3 sa3 this6 howe'er6 4ut not /ean it. If 3ou can /ana%e to %et awa3 fro/ the/ without sheddin% a tear and lookin% 4ack6 3ou ha'e passed the first step in =%ettin% 4ack 3our e+ lo'er? with fl3in% colors. 9ou can then /o'e on to step two. If 3ou ha'e alread3 had a 4reakup 43 the ti/e that 3ou ha'e read this 4ook6 do not worr3. 9our step two /i%ht 4e a 4it /ore difficult and 3ou /a3 ha'e a tou%her ti/e6 dependin% on 3our reactions at the 4reakup6 4ut 3ou can still %et 4ack 3our e+ lo'er. Unless6 of course6 3ou co//itted so/e sort of cri/e a%ainst hi/. (lthou%h that5s not totall3 true6 either. There are plent3 of people who ha'e taken 4ack so/eone who has done so/ethin% drastic at the 4reakup. Take the e+a/ple of Bo4 and .laine. Bob And Elaine - A Typical Case Bo4 and .laine were datin% for a few 3ears. .laine wanted to %et /arried and Bo4 wanted to sta3 sin%le. Ti/eless stor3. #inall36 .laine decided to %i'e Bo4 an ulti/atu/ - either the3 %et /arried or 4reak up. Bo4 chose the latter. .laine was de'astated. (fter three 3ears of 4ein% to%ether and 4elie'in% that their future was

destined to%ether6 .laine was /ore than a little an%r3 at Bo4. *he tossed a rock throu%h his window and wrote nast3 words on his windshield with lipstick. Bo4 knew that .laine was 4ehind the 'andalis/. ,owe'er6 he did not call the police. *o/e of his friends ad'ised hi/ to %et a restrainin% order a%ainst .laine and called her a ps3cho. Bo4 ne'er talks to those friends an3/ore. The reason is 4ecause he and .laine are now /arried and ha'e two kids. ,ow did .laine and Bo4 %et 4ack to%ether after she da/a%ed his ho/e and carC Der3 si/ple. .laine used the tried and true tips in this 4ook. (fter she had her little ra44it 4oilin% session ;this is a /etaphor fro/ =#atal (ttraction6? .laine did not reall3 kill a ra44it< she cried and %ot depressed like /ost wo/en do. But so/ethin% odd happened that /i%ht ha'e 4een fate intercedin% on her 4ehalf. ,er phone went dead. .laine pro4a4l3 would ha'e called Bo4 and continued to call hi/ 4ecause she 7ust couldn5t %et o'er the fact that he could callousl3 du/p her. *he didn5t call hi/ 4ecause she didn5t . The phone co/pan3 had trou4le on her line and her phone was out for nearl3 a week. This was 4efore the da3s of cell phones so .laine had no choice. *he would freAuentl3 dri'e past Bo45s house 4ut that was as far as it %ot. *he ne'er ran% the 4ell. >hen the phone was repaired6 .laine found that it was 4etter not to call Bo4. That she wanted to pro'e to hi/ that she could %et alon% without hi/. *he reall3 con'inced herself of this and6 4ecause the3

li'ed in the sa/e town6 was also con'inced that she would run into hi/ and he would disco'er that he /issed her as /uch as she /issed hi/. *he decided to wait a /onth 4efore callin% hi/. *he actuall3 /arked this ti/e on the calendar. ( /onth went 43 and she called Bo4. The phone con'ersation was like this8 =,i Bo46 this is .laine. ,ow are 3ou.? Bo4 is naturall3 surprised6 4ut not upset or anno3ed. In fact6 he didn5t 7ust for%et a4out .laine and did /iss her. (fter all6 so/ethin% had drawn the/ to%ether in the first place and kept the/ to%ether for a period of three 3ears. ,e was actuall3 happ3 to hear fro/ her. =Oh6 hi6? he said. =I wanted to apolo%iEe a4out /3 4eha'ior6? .laine said without incri/inatin% herself in acts of 'andalis/. .laine5s uncle is an attorne3 and .laine is no du//3. =I 7ust was thinkin% a4out 3ou and wanted to see how 3ou were doin% as well as sa3 I was sorr3 for an3 trou4le.? Bo4 was still in shock 4ecause he was co/pletel3 taken off %uard 43 the phone call. 2e'er underesti/ate the ele/ent of surprise. ,e answered that he it was =no trou4le? e'en thou%h it cost hi/ F1G) to ha'e the %lass replaced and had to worr3 a4out 4ur%laries and that e'er3thin% was cool. Then he asked .laine how she was doin%. *he said fine and that she hoped so/eda3 the3 could /ana%e to 4e friends.

2ote the =so/eda3 we can /ana%e to 4e friends.? This is a %ood line. It works so /uch 4etter than the =we can still 4e friends? which is a nice wa3 of tellin% so/eone to kiss off 4ecause it sounds sincere. 0et5s 4e honest6 .laine was not %oin% after friendship here. *he realiEed that she went a week without talkin% to Bo4 or seein% hi/6 and she sur'i'ed. *he did not sound desperate in her phone con'ersation at all and this /ade all the difference. Then she finished her triu/ph 43 sa3in% =well6 I %otta %o. I ha'e to run out 4ut I 7ust thou%ht I would sa3 hi.? *he ended the call first. This is another essential in the post-4reak-up call. .nd the call first. $ake it short and sweet and 4e the first to sa3 %ood43e. (lwa3s lea'e the audience wantin% /ore. .laine was heartened a4out the phone call with Bo4. ,e didn5t han% up on her e'en thou%h she 'andaliEed his house and car and see/ed pleasant. On top of that6 he didn5t see/ standoffish and e'en /ana%ed to ask how she was to keep the con'ersation %oin%. The phone call was a successful step in %ettin% 4ack her lo'er. The post 4reak up phone call is one of the first steps that 3ou ha'e to /aster when 3ou are tr3in% to win 4ack 3our e+. If 3ou 4low it6 don5t worr3. 2othin% is un-fi+a4le. In the ne+t chapter6 we will learn e+actl3 how to handle the post 4reakup call and the allotted ti/e in which to wait to place that call. >e will also talk a4out dos and don5ts of the post 4reak up call. #or now6 let5s su//ariEe the 4reak-up8

>hen 3ou feel the 4reak-up co/in%6 tr3 to do 3our 4est to hold on loosel3. >hile e'er3 instinct in 3our 4od3 tells 3ou to keep pushin% 3our lo'er and tr3in% to find out =what5s wron%6? 3ou should 4e distancin% 3ourself. Because the /ore 3ou clin%6 the /ore need3 3ou see/ and the less attracti'e. 2o one wants a need3 indi'idual. If the 4reak up happens6 tr3 to think a4out what it will take to %et 4ack with 3our e+ lo'er. 2othin% 3ou can sa3 at this point is %oin% to work6 so sa'e 3our speeches and cr3in% and 4e%%in%. It will onl3 ser'e to dri'e hi/ or her farther awa3. There is an old episode of =0aw (nd Order? in which the3 are tr3in% a %u3 for /urder and he has one of the 4est defense attorne3s in 2ew 9ork. 2aturall36 he is a wealth3 %u3. Instead of the 4i% shot defense attorne3 doin% all of the Auestionin%6 he is workin% on a docu/ent durin% the trial and ha'in% an associate do his work. 2ow either $ichael $oriart3 or *a/ >aterston is reall3 perple+ed at this until he realiEes what the attorne3 is doin%. The attorne3 alread3 knows that the case is a loser. ,e5s lettin% his associate handle it6 4ut he5s busy working on the appeal. In the end of this episode6 the 4ad %u3 actuall3 %ets awa3 with the /urder 4ecause of the appeal. This is what 3ou ha'e to 4e doin%. >hen the %u3 or %al is 4reakin% up with 3ou 6 start workin% on 3our appeal. People 4reak up and %et 4ack to%ether all of the ti/e. It trul3 is not the end of the world. Tr3 to handle the 4reakup with so/e di%nit3.

(ct nonchalant a4out it as if perhaps 3ou were thinkin% a4out doin% the sa/e thin% or 3ou are 7ust not that affected. I %uarantee 3ou that 3ou will intri%ue 3our e+ lo'er6 especiall3 if we5re talkin% a4out a /an. >o/en ha'e no trou4le 4reakin% up with /en. >e do it all the ti/e and si/pl3 sa3 =I don5t want to see 3ou an3/ore.? #or so/e reason6 /en would rather ha'e their teeth pulled out with pliers than 4reak up with a wo/an. The3 reall3 don5t like confrontation so this is 'er3 difficult for the/. One word of ad'ice here for the new a%e techies - /an3 /en are cowardl3 usin% e-/ail and te+t /essa%e to 4reak up with wo/en. This is happenin% /ore and /ore often6 especiall3 if the couple has not dated. *o/e wo/en do this as well. It is %rossl3 disrespectful and reeks of cowardice. Personall36 I would not want to 4e 4othered %ettin% 4ack an e+-lo'er who used this /ethod to 4reak up with /e 4ecause I would lose respect for the/. But don5t let /3 feelin%s swa3 3ou. He/e/4er that /an3 people choose to take the path of least resistance and /a3 not ha'e 4een 4rou%ht up to do the ri%ht thin%. If so/eone 4reaks up with 3ou 43 te+t /essa%e or e-/ail6 i%nore the /essa%e. o not respond6 no /atter how /uch 3ou want to =%et e'en.? If 3ou want to %et 4ack with the/6 do nothin%. This will work. ,andlin% the 4reak up is the first step in %ettin% 4ack 3our e+ lo'er. $an3 of 3ou who are readin% this 4ook ha'e alread3 4een throu%h the 4reakup sta%e and handled it terri4l3. $an3 of 3ou cried or pleaded or did drastic thin%s. 9ou /a3 e'en ha'e said a lot of hurtful thin%s to 3our e+ lo'er. on5t worr3. 9ou can %et past that. Breakups are

e/otionall3 char%ed and 3ou can find people all the ti/e who endured a nast3 4reakup and then later %ot /arried. I know two couples personall3 who went throu%h this !) 3ears a%o and are still /arried. (fter the 4reakup6 3ou are read3 for the post 4reakup phone call.

Chapter Two - The Post Breakup Phone Call
0et /e 7ust sa3 that the ti/e that 3ou ha'e to wait 4efore /akin% the post 4reakup phone call will depend on how 3ou stand ri%ht now. ,a'e 3ou 7ust hun% up the phone and left a /essa%e for 3our e+lo'erC (re 3ou doin% the Princess iana 4it where 3ou lea'e 4) /essa%e a da3 for hi/ or her and wonder wh3 the3 don5t answerC id the 4reakup 7ust happen and 3ou ha'e not spoken to 3our e+C ,ow did 3ou 4eha'e durin% the 4reakupC >ere 3ou cool or did 3ou throw so/ethin% at hi/ or herC Hule of thu/4 is to wait a /onth 4efore the post 4reakup call. 9ou do not want to call too soon as it reeks of desperation6 loneliness6 neediness and crawlin%. 9ou do not want to wait too lon% 4ecause it %i'es hi/ or her ti/e to %et used to 4ein% without 3ou. He/e/4er that people are 'er3 routine oriented and that 3our e+-lo'er is /issin% 3ou. .'en if he or she found another 4o3friend or %irlfriend6 the3 still /iss the closeness the3 had with 3ou. It is natural to /iss a routine.

9ou read in the last chapter an e+a/ple of a perfect post 4reakup call. This ended up workin% well for .laine and Bo4 as the3 later not onl3 %ot 4ack to%ether6 4ut actuall3 tied the knot. Bo4 /issed .laine6 he 7ust didn5t realiEe how /uch until the3 4roke up. (nd the /ore she pushed hi/6 the /ore anno3ed he 4eca/e. ,e was reall3 /ad at the da/a%e of his house6 4ut part of hi/ still lo'ed .laine and didn5t want to see her %et into trou4le with the police. Take a calendar out and start /arkin% off da3s when 3ou are +-free.

.ach da3 that %oes 43 that 3ou do not call hi/ or her is a triu/ph. It is %ettin% 3ou one step closer to 3our %oal. 9ou will 4e doin% other thin%s that %et 3our /ind off of 3our e+ durin% this ti/e that will help pass the ti/e. He/e/4er6 3ou ha'e to wait a /onth. (fter a /onth has %one 436 3ou can place the call. Place it at a ti/e when 3ou know that he or she is at ho/e. Then 3ou can act as .laine did. 9ou are 7ust callin% to see how he or she is and tell the/ that 3ou were =thinkin% of the/.? o not sound need3. o not sound whine3. 9ou ha'e to sound nonchalant and confident - 7ust as if 3ou were callin% a distant uncle or cousin and were 7ust thinkin% a4out the/. -et an3 sort of ner'ousness out of 3our 'oice. Then 3ou ha'e to do the crucial thin% and han% up ri%ht awa3. 9ou ha'e to %o6 after all6 3ou are 4us3 and ha'e thin%s to do. It was nice talkin% to hi/ or her6 4ut 3ou need to %et %oin%. Talk soon.? Be the first to end the con'ersation. (lwa3s. 9ou will han% up and 4reathe a si%h of relief. 9our e+ will 4e intri%ued 43 the call and flattered. ,e will feel %ood that 3ou called 4ecause of the followin% reasons8 9ou did not sound clin%3 or whine3 and sound like 3ou ha'e 3our life to%ether ;alwa3s attracti'e to a /an or a wo/an< 9ou did not ask hi/ for an3thin% ;alwa3s a feelin% of securit3 for a /an - /ost /en 4reak up with wo/en who tr3 to possess the/<.

9ou did not threaten or swear at hi/ ;alwa3s a plus in an3 con'ersation< 9ou sounded like 3ou had something else to do besides think about him. (nd 4elie'e /e6 that5s the corker. $ost wo/en who %et du/ped do so 4ecause the3 4e%in to re'ol'e their li'es around a %u3. This 4eco/es a turn off for an3 /an or wo/an as people tend to 4e drawn to independent people and not need3 clin%-ons. This is a rou%h idea on how to handle the post-4reak up call. Be li%ht hearted and pleasant. %ettin% 4ack to%ether. uncle or cousin. call. The post 4reak-up phone call is one of se'eral steps that 3ou are %oin% to ha'e to take to %et 4ack 3our e+ lo'er. If done successfull36 3ou are well on 3our wa3 to step two. If it fails6 3ou ha'e to %o 4ack to the drawin% 4oard6 wait another /onth and then /ake another post-post 4reak up phone call of essentiall3 the sa/e /aterial. *o/e wa3s that 3ou know that 3our post 4reakup phone call failed to hit its /ark are the followin%8 • • • • ,e or she does not answer the phone ;that darn caller I < ,e or she tells 3ou not to 4other the/ an3/ore ,e or she sounds uninterested in what 3ou ha'e to sa3 ,e or she sa3s that the3 hate 3our %uts and ne'er want to see 3ou o not /ention the 4reakup or the possi4ilit3 of o not start cr3in% or sound otherwise need3 in

an3 wa36 shape or for/. Be asserti'e and act like 3ou are callin% an o not act like the sun rises and sets on this phone

or talk to 3ou a%ain ;this is a lot /ore pro/isin% than it see/s actuall3 it /eans the3 are still thinkin% a4out 3ou and ha'e e/otions for 3ou. It also /eans that 3ou reall3 /eant so/ethin% to the/ as onl3 those we lo'e we can trul3 hate<. • (nother wo/an or /an answers and tells 3ou that the35re /arried ;in this case6 3ou ha'e no choice 4ut to /o'e on. I hate to 4e a Auitter6 4ut this is not a %ood si%n that 3ou should continue tr3in% to %et 4ack 3our e+-lo'er. If an3 of the a4o'e occur6 do 3ourself a fa'or and %o 4ack to sAuare one and wait to /ake another call in a /onth. This is with the e+ception of the last ite/ on the list6 althou%h with the wa3 /arria%es last these da3s6 3ou ne'er know. o not do the followin% durin% the phone call8 $ake up a phon3 e+cuse to see hi/ or her6 such as 3ou need a 4ook or an ite/ returned. If 3ou reall3 do need so/ethin% fro/ the/6 ask the/ to /ail it to 3ou. (sk to see the/. *tart cr3in% ;ne'er %ood<. Plead with the/ in an3 wa36 shape or for/. It 7ust doesn5t work. 9ou should also6 after the 4reakup6 resist an3 ur%e to send the/ flowers6 a %ift or an3thin% /aterial. 9ou cannot 4u3 4ack their affection and are wastin% 3our /one3. It will actuall3 4e creep3 to

the/ and /ore of a turn off. 9ou are 4etter off to donate to the ho/eless. (ssu/in% that he post-4reakup phone call %oes oka36 3ou are read3 to /o'e on to the ne+t step in the =how to %et 3our lo'er 4ack? lessons. =The Coffee ate.?

Chapter Three - The Coffee Date
If all %oes well with the phone call6 3ou are read3 to /o'e on to the ne+t step6 which is the coffee date. 9ou need to place another call to 3our e+ lo'er and ask the/6 in a nonchalant wa36 if the3 would like to /eet 3ou for coffee. Tell the/ that 3ou are %oin% to 4e in the nei%h4orhood and it would 4e nice to see the/ a%ain6 7ust for coffee. $ake sure that 3ou put a ti/e li/it on this date. *a3 so/ethin% like 3ou are %oin% to 4e in the nei%h4orhood on so/e 4usiness and thou%ht 3ou could kill an hour with hi/ or her for coffee. The purpose of the coffee date is for 3our lo'er to see 3ou a%ain and rekindle his or her feelin%s for 3ou. There is an old sa3in% =out of si%ht6 out of /ind.? This rin%s true with so/e lo'e that has not 3et had a chance to flourish. There are /an3 reasons wh3 relationships end. In /ost cases6 the3 end 4ecause the ro/ance has not 3et had a chance to flourish. .ither the relationship was consu//ated too earl3 or 7ust didn5t ha'e ti/e to plant %ood roots. In so/e cases6 the other person %ot fri%htened of the closeness that was de'elopin%. $an3 people think that once a relationship ends6 it is o'er6 finished fore'er. There are so /an3 cases where people ha'e %otten 4ack to%ether after a split. In /an3 of those cases6 the3 realiEed that the3 wanted to continue the relationship after the3 saw each other a%ain after a few weeks or e'en /onths apart. The latest feelin%s of either an%er or 4ein% fri%htened were sur/ounted 43 feelin%s that had surfaced when the3 first /et.

*o 3ou want to %i'e the/ a call and ask the/ to do coffee. (ct like 3ou are callin% a friend to do coffee. 9ou ha'e to e/phasiEe that 3ou are %oin% to 4e around6 it would 4e nice to see the/ and that 3ou onl3 ha'e ti/e for coffee. o not tell the/ what 3our 4usiness is. 9ou can 7ust sa3 that it is =so/ethin% for work.? 9ou should wait a decent inter'al after the after 4reak up phone call to /ake the call to ask for the coffee date. followin% chapter. o not sound desperate to see the/ and do not 4e disappointed if the3 cannot /ake it. o not sa3 =so/e other ti/e6? either. This also reeks of desperation. 9ou in'ited hi/ or her to coffee - 3ou did not propose /arria%e. It is up to the/ to offer =so/e other ti/e.? If the3 sa3 3es6 set a ti/e and date and then %et off the phone as soon as possi4le. 9ou can tell the/ that 3ou are lookin% forward to seein% the/ a%ain6 4ut /ake sure it doesn5t sound like 3ou5ll 4e 4rin%in% a Priest for 3our coffee date. 9ou are %oin% to ha'e to 4eha'e like 3ou are %oin% out with a friend. If he or she declines6 note whether the3 %i'e 3ou a reason. 2o /atter what6 do not act crushed or upset. Be 'er3 casual a4out it. Continue with a 4it /ore s/all talk and then tell the/ that 3ou ha'e to %o. 9ou can tr3 a%ain in another /onth. The trick of the coffee date phone call is to act unaffected. .ither 3our 9ou /i%ht e'en %et a call 4efore then. If 3ou do6 we will 4e discussin% that 4eha'ior in the

e+ is d3in% to see 3ou6 is a 4it curious to see how 3ou are doin% or is indifferent. 9ou want to /ake sure that 3ou act as nonplussed as possi4le. He/e/4er to pla3 it cool6 whether or not 3ou 3es a%rees to the coffee date. 2ow6 if 3our e+ sa3s that he or she will =think a4out it? 3ou ha'e to continue to pla3 it cool. Hespond with =it5s not 4i% deal. If 3ou want6 I a/ %oin% to *tar4ucks on *aturda3 /ornin%. $a34e 3ou can /eet /e thereC The reason for this is to %i'e 3our e+ a choice. The3 /a3 4e he//in% and hawin% a4out whether or not the3 want to see 3ou 4ut this puts it ri%ht on the line. If the3 sa3 that the3 =/a3? 4e there6 3ou ha'e another 4it of work to do. *o it /a3 4e 3es6 no or /a34e. If 3ou had a decent relationship6 he or she will pro4a4l3 consent to the /eetin%. He/e/4er to /ake it on a /ornin% for an hour. This is 7ust like 3ou are e+periencin% an online date.

Chapter our - The Post Breakup !eetin" Date
(ssu/in% that 3our e+ tells 3ou that the3 want to see 3ou for the coffee date6 /ake sure that 3ou look 3our 4est 4ut do not look too =o'er the top.? ress nor/all36 take care with 3our hair and appearance 4ut do not 4u3 a new outfit or look e+tra %la/orous. He/e/4er6 the secret word here is =cool.? 9ou ha'e to pla3 it cool. -et to the coffee shop a little late. BreeEe in like 3ou are in a hurr3 and ha'e a ton of thin%s to do. o not 4e o'erl3 happ3 to see 3our e+6 4ut do not see/ %loo/3. 9ou want to %i'e off an air of confidence. He/e/4er6 confidence is ke3 when it co/es to %ettin% 4ack 3our e+. (lwa3s ha'e a place to %o and announce it when 3ou arri'e. Tell 3our e+ that 3ou are so %lad to see the/ a%ain and wish 3ou had /ore ti/e to talk6 4ut at least 3ou ha'e ti/e for coffee. It doesn5t /atter that the coffee date was 3our idea and 3ou planned the date - 3ou are still 4us3. o not pretend to ha'e another date6 nor should 3ou announce that 3ou do not ha'e another date. It is none of his or her 4usiness what 3ou ha'e 4een doin% with 3ourself since the two of 3ou 4roke up6 nor is it an3 of their 4usiness what 3ou are doin% now. Bust as 3ou would not spill 3our %uts to a stran%er6 3ou should not spill the/ to 3our e+. The purpose of the post 4reakup coffee date is twofold. #irst6 3ou want to show 3our e+ that 3ou ha'e not stopped li'in% 4ecause of hi/ or her. That 3ou ha'e %one on with 3our life and are feelin% %reat.

9ou are not /ournin% hi/ or her. .'en if 3ou sta3 ho/e e'er3 ni%ht cr3in% in 3our pillow6 3ou ha'e to act like 3ou are ha'in% the ti/e of 3our life. *econd6 3ou want to %i'e 3our e+ the chance to see the new6 confident 3ou. This is wh3 3ou should look 3our 4est6 4ut not in a contri'ed wa3. 9ou do not want 3our e+ to think that 3ou are acti'el3 enticin% hi/ or her. 9ou want the/ to see what the3 are /issin% and ad/ire 3our confidence. (t one ti/e6 3our e+ lo'er lo'ed 3ou. There was so/ethin% a4out 3ou that the3 liked. Those Aualities are still there6 3ou 7ust ha'e to %et hi/ or her to see the/ a%ain. 9ou should 4e a/ia4le at the coffee date and positi'e. ('oid an3 t3pe of ne%ati'e con'ersation as this will onl3 /ake 3ou appear unattracti'e to 3our e+. ('oid askin% the followin%8 • • • (re 3ou %oin% out with an3one nowC o 3ou /iss /eC o 3ou think we should %o 4ack outC

9ou do not want to 4e the leader in an3 of these con'ersation topics. 9our e+ /ade the decision to stop seein% 3ou. In /ost cases6 it was 4ecause 3ou were too need3 and 3our e+ felt trapped. 9ou want to stop %i'in% the i/pression that 3ou are need3 and a'oid an3 t3pe of need3 con'ersation. In addition to a'oidin% askin% the followin% Auestions6 3ou should also

a'oid re'ealin% an3 infor/ation that i/plies 3ou ha'e 4een sittin% around and waitin% for 3our e+ to co/e 4ack. ('oid the te/ptation to sa3 that 3ou ha'e not 4een out with an3one else. 2or should 3ou lie and in'ent a strin% of lo'ers. He/e/4er confidence is essential durin% this /eetin%. If 3ou ha'e ne'er 4een confident 4efore6 now is the ti/e to start. It is one thin% to act with confidence. It is another thin% to actuall3 4e confident. Take the ne+t chapter5s tips on how to actuall3 %ain so/e confidence for 3ourself 4efore 3ou ha'e this /eetin%. (nd do not allow 3our e+ to shake 3our confidence that 3ou ha'e in 3ourself. There are three wa3s that this t3pe of /eetin% can turn out. The3 are as follows8 • • • 9our e+ can rekindle their feelin%s for the new6 confident 3ouI 9our e+ can 4e %lad that he or she du/ped 3ouI The entire thin% can turn into a screa/in% fest and 3ou are asked to lea'e the coffee shop. O4'iousl36 3ou want the first scenario to occur. This is wh3 3ou /ust retain 3our confidence no /atter what happens. .'en if 3our e+ tells 3ou that he or she is %oin% out with so/eone else6 do not lose 3our cool. o not sa3 that 3ou6 too6 ha'e 4een seein% so/eone . In fact6 3ou can sa3 that 3ou are disappointed6 without see/in% o'erl3 affected6 whin3 or /orose. 9ou will naturall3 4e ner'ous at this /eetin% and /a3 prefer ha'in% a drink o'er coffee6 4ut 3ou should a'oid liAuor at all costs. 0iAuor will

release 3our inhi4itions. >hen this happens6 3ou /a3 turn into a cr3in% and 4e%%in% drunk. This is sure to turn off 3our e+ and /ake 3ou feel awful - 4oth ph3sicall3 and /entall3 the ne+t da3. This post 4reakup /eetin% is essential to show 3our e+ that 3ou are still around6 still lookin% %ood and ha'e not crawled into a hole and died 4ecause of his or her re7ection. (t the end of the date6 3ou should tr3 to pick up on the cues that he or she set forth durin% the date as to how the relationship will %o. The fact that 3our e+ showed up for the coffee /eetin% is a %ood si%n. The3 /a3 4e thinkin% the sa/e as 3ou. Take note as to how the3 are dressed. /o'e. o not lea'e the date pleadin% for a second. 9ou should let the/ talk. Tell the/ that it was nice seein% the/ a%ain 4ut a'oid askin% for another date or if the two of 3ou can %et 4ack to%ether. If he or she does not /ake the /o'e to ask for a date6 lea'e it alone. 9ou can alwa3s tr3 another phone call a few weeks fro/ now6 tell the/ that 3ou en7o3ed the coffee date and then ask to see the/ a%ain. If 3our e+ has an3 inclination of %ettin% 4ack with 3ou6 then he or she will let 3ou know6 in so/e wa36 either durin% the /eetin% or after. .'en if 3our e+ does not /ake the /o'e durin% the coffee date6 the3 /i%ht %i'e 3ou a call a few da3s later. id the36 too6 %o out of their wa3 to /ake the/sel'es look niceC Pick up on cues6 4ut /ake sure that 3our e+ /akes the first

Chapter i#e - A#oid The riend Trap
Two people %o out with one another. The3 ha'e a ro/antic relationship. One of the/ decides that the relationship is not for the/. Can the3 4e friendsC The answer is =3es6? if the two ha'e full3 /o'ed on and neither one of the/ has an3 desire to continue the relationship. But this seldo/ happens when the 4reakup first occurs. Two people can 4e friends6 4ut not until all the dust has cleared. $an3 people /ake the /istake to han% onto the other person as =friends? so that the3 can still 4e around the/. The3 ask for friendship and are ada/ant that the3 do not want an3thin% /ore. .'en at the e+pense of their own feelin%s6 the3 take the second option and fei%n friendship6 4ut what the3 reall3 want is lo'e. ('oid the friend trap. It is not fair to 3ou or 3our e+. Unless 3ou are %oin% to 4e 7u/pin% for 7o3 o'er their new relationship6 then 3ou are not their friend. Because a friend would not 4e 4ri//in% with 7ealous36 4ut would 4e happ3 for their friend and their new relationship. (nd what usuall3 happens is that the entire friendship e+plodes when one of the parties %ets another lo'e interest6 the e+ %ets all upset. This upsets the person who thou%ht that the3 had a friend6 instead of a 7ealous e+ lo'er han%in% around. This not onl3 causes 4ad feelin%s all around6 4ut can also doo/ an3 t3pe of future relationship that /i%ht ha'e de'eloped had it not 4een for the false friendship.

*ure6 3ou can 4e friends with 3our e+. (fter 3ou are o'er the/. But chances are that there will 4e little reason to 4e friends once 3ou ha'e /o'ed on to other lo'ers.

Chapter $i% - &ow To 'et Confidence
He/e/4er6 confidence is ke3. But 7ust how do 3ou /ana%e to %et confidenceC (fter all6 3our confidence has prett3 /uch 4een shattered after 3our e+ 4roke 3our heart. This is enou%h to take the wind ri%ht out of 3our sails. But that does not /ean that it has to 4e that wa3 for lon%. 9ou need to find wa3s to re%ain 3our confidence. One wa3 that 3ou can use to re%ain 3our confidence is to find so/ethin% that 3ou like to do6 can do well6 and do it. If 3ou ha'e e'er wanted to take up a ho4436 now is the ti/e. 2o /atter what t3pe of ho443 it is6 it will do dou4le dut3. It will keep 3our /ind off of the 4reakup and will also add to 3our self estee/. The /ore 3ou %et a4sor4ed in 3our ho4436 the 4etter 3ou will feel. The less 3ou will think a4out the person who 4roke 3our heart and the /ore that 3ou will think a4out 3ou. 9ou cannot e+pect 3our e+ lo'er to want to co/e 4ack to 3ou if 3ou are a 4roken6 defeated and /isera4le person. This is unattracti'e in an3one. People are attracted to others who e+hi4it confidence in the/sel'es. 9ou /ust ha'e this t3pe of confidence in order to %et 4ack with 3our e+6 as well as for 3our own self estee/. In addition to %ettin% a ho4436 start to pa/per 3ourself. 0isten to /usic that 3ou like and sin% alon%. *in%in% is actuall3 an e+cellent e+ercise and can 4oost 3our ener%3 le'el as well as endorphins. It can pull 3ou out of a depression that is so eas3 to %et into when 3ou ha'e 4een 7ilted. Hent or 4u3 /o'ies that 3ou like and watch the/. Treat 3ourself to entertain/ent that is happ3 and will %et 3our /ind off of

3our pro4le/s. Take a trip to the salon or 4ar4er and %et a new st3le. Hesist the ur%e to cut off 3our hair or d3e it so/e odd color. Bust take a 4eaut3 treat/ent. This will /ake 3ou feel 4etter. If /one3 is ti%ht6 %o to a 4eaut3 school for this treat/ent. The3 work under the super'ision of licensed professionals and will %i'e 3ou the sa/e treat/ent as 3ou can e+pect in a salon. -et a pedicure6 /anicure or a /assa%e. This will /ake 3ou feel %ood ph3sicall3. 9ou /i%ht want to spend a little /one3 and %et 3ourself a new outfit. This can also /ake 3ou feel 4etter a4out 3ourself. B3 pa/perin% 3ourself and doin% thin%s that 3ou like to do6 includin% ho44ies6 3ou will re%ain confidence that 3ou /a3 ha'e lost when the relationship ended. $an3 people will latch on to another person when the3 lose the co/fort of a stead3 relationship. >hile so/e re4ound relationships do work out6 3ou are 4etter off to re7u'enate 3our confidence 4efore 3ou e'en consider e/4arkin% on another relationship. .'en if 3ou %et o'er 3our e+6 3ou should resist the ur%e to lose 3ourself in the ar/s of so/eone else. Confidence ste/s fro/ likin% 3ourself and knowin% what 3ou want. 9ou ha'e pro4a4l3 heard this 4efore /an3 ti/es6 4ut 3ou cannot e+pect an3one else to like 3ou unless 3ou like 3ourself. Before 3ou ha'e the /eetin% with the e+6 e'en 4efore the phone call6 4e sure to do so/ethin% for 3ourself to restore 3our confidence le'el.

Chapter $e#en - Ele(ents Of )o#e
The3 sa3 that the course of true lo'e ne'er %oes s/ooth. But that does not /ean that 3our entire lo'e life has to 4e a dra/a fest. There are two 4asic ele/ents to lo'e - /utual attraction and ti/in%. In order for the lo'e affair to work6 4oth of these ha'e to 4e in s3nch. If there is no /utual attraction6 it is 'er3 unlikel3 that there will 4e a lo'e affair at all. >hile there are /an3 stories of people who 4e%an as friends and then turned into lo'ers6 3ou will find that there was an attraction 4etween at least one of the parties when the3 /et. The ti/in% /a3 ha'e 4een off and the3 4eca/e friends6 usuall3 due to other people in their li'es. But there was an initial attraction. If the attraction is there6 then the ti/in% has to also 4e there. This /eans that 4oth of the parties ha'e to 4e read3 to fall in lo'e. that all pre'ious relationship /atters should ha'e 4een settled. >ith 4oth of these ele/ents in s3nch6 the two people ha'e an e+cellent chance of fallin% lo'e and de'elopin% a lastin% relationship. People do not want to 4e alone - we are social creatures. >hen we find so/eone who we like and who likes us in return6 we %o out of our wa3 to /ake the relationship work. $ost people will /ake concessions in their own 4eha'ior to acco//odate the relationship. >hile 3ou do not want to co/pro/ise 3our principals for the relationship6 3ou do not want to 4e un3ieldin%. $ost people who are enterin% a relationship are fle+i4le. (s the3 %et to know one another /ore6 the3 4e%in to let out /ore of their true feelin%s and 4eha'ior. B3 this ti/e6 the3 are so There should 4e nothin% to stand in the wa3 of the relationship. This /eans

used to one another that the3 /a3 4e willin% to o'erlook thin%s that /i%ht ha'e turned the/ off of the relationship had the3 known at the 4e%innin%. >ithout the ele/ents of lo'e6 3ou cannot e+pect the relationship to 4e a4le to work. In so/e cases6 howe'er6 the ti/in% can 4e fi+ed. In so/e cases6 the ti/in% is off in the 4e%innin% of the relationship 4ut thin%s chan%e later that /ake the relationship possi4le. This is wh3 the post 4reakup date is so i/portant. It %a'e the other person to rethink their own personal ti/in% and see if thin%s ha'e chan%ed. *o/e people who 4reak up %et 4ack /onths or e'en 3ears later after the ti/in% is corrected. This does not /ean that 3ou should wait for so/eone to chan%e their /inds and not %et on with 3our life6 4ut it does /ean that there are ti/es when two people who 4roke up 4ecause the ti/in% for the relationship was not ri%ht6 %et 4ack to%ether when the ti/in% issue corrects itself. >hile 3ou do not want to wait around fore'er for so/eone to decide to co/e 4ack to 3ou6 nor fei%n friendship when 3ou want ro/ance6 43 re/ainin% on friendl3 ter/s with 3our e+6 3ou /a3 %i'e the relationship another chance if the ti/in% issues work out. There is no 4i% /3ster3 when it co/es to the ele/ents of lo'e. It is all a4out ti/in% and /utual attraction. If the /utual attraction was there to 4e%in with6 and 3our lo'er left 4ecause he or she said the3 were not read3 for a relationship6 still had issues with a past lo'er or 7ust did not feel like the3 wanted to settle

down6 3ou ha'e hope for a relationship with the/ in the future if the ti/in% issue strai%htens itself out.

Chapter Ei"ht - Beha#ior To A#oid
>hile it is natural for 3ou to want to know e'er3thin% that 3our e+ is doin% as 3our heart is 4reakin%6 or for 3ou to want to call hi/ or her and tr3 to talk to the/6 3ou do not want to pester 3our e+ lo'er to the point where the3 feel 3ou are threatenin% or stalkin%. 2or do 3ou want to plead and 4e% for their lo'e as this will onl3 /ake thin%s worse in their e3es. The followin% are e+a/ples of 4eha'ior to a'oid8 *epeated phone calls This is eas3 to do. 9ou call up and ha'e a con'ersation with the/ that is not satisfactor3 and end up han%in% up. Then 3ou call 4ack to apolo%iEe or to clarif3 so/ethin% 4ecause 3ou feel 4ad and he or she does not answer the phone. 9ou han% up. Then 3ou decide to lea'e a /essa%e and call a%ain. 9ou call a%ain and there is no answer and 3ou lea'e a /essa%e. Then 3ou wait for the/ to call 3ou 4ack. >hen the3 do not return the call6 3ou call a%ain. This is an e+a/ple of repeated callin%. It can 4e dee/ed as harassin% if 3our e+ lo'er calls the police. This is one of the worst thin%s that 3ou can do when 3ou are tr3in% to %et 4ack 3our e+ lo'er. In the heat of the /o/ent6 when 3our e/otions are runnin% hi%h6 it is eas3 to fall into this trap. ('oid it at all costs. Dri#in" past their house This is like stickin% 4a/4oo under 3our fin%ernails and li%htin% it. >h3 torture 3ourselfC If 3ou see their car there6 3ou will wonder what he or she is doin%. If 3ou see a stran%e car6 3ou will wonder if the3 ha'e

a date. (nd if 3ou see no car6 3ou will wonder where the3 are. *top wastin% %as /ilea%e and 3our ti/e 43 dri'in% 4ack and forth past their house. 2ot onl3 is it a waste of ti/e6 4ut if the3 see 3ou do this6 the3 will not feel flattered6 4ut threatened. Callin" fa(ily (e(bers Callin% or e/ailin% their fa/il3 /e/4ers and friends and tr3in% to %et the/ to intercede on 3our 4ehalf or usin% the/ as a soundin% 4oard to tell the/ what an awful person 3our e+ is in an effort to %et their attention is a 4ad idea. If 3ou want to tell 3our e+ off6 do so to their face and not to their relati'es. (nd if 3ou care a4out 3our e+ at all6 3ou will not put his or her relati'es or friends in the awkward position of tr3in% to rela3 infor/ation. 2o one will want to %et in'ol'ed6 3our e+ will %et /ad at 3ou for this atte/pt to tr3 to %et to the/ throu%h their friends and 3ou will lessen the chances of the two of 3ou e'er %ettin% 4ack to%ether. $end "ifts or flowers $en are /ore %uilt3 of this than wo/en. 2o a/ount of flowers or %ifts is %oin% to 4rin% 3our lo'er 4ack to 3ou unless the3 are read3 to co/e 4ack to 3ou. *a'e 3our /one3 and 3our ti/e and stop sendin% flowers or %ifts in an effort to win her 4ack. Cyber stalkin" o not start -oo%lin% 3our e+ and showin% up on their new #ace4ook or $3space. o not follow the/ onto datin% sites and pretend to 4e

so/eone else. This is a total waste of ti/e and will lessen an3 chance of rekindlin% 3our relationship. (llow 3our e+ to 4e 3our e+. If he or she is on 3our #ace4ook pa%e as a friend alread36 3ou do not ha'e to kick the/ off and 4lock the/. Bust i%nore the/ and do not stalk their pa%es6 or the pa%es of their friends. Threaten suicide Threatenin% suicide is /uch /ore likel3 to land 3ou in the ps3che ward of the local hospital instead of 4ack in the ar/s of 3our e+ lo'er. o 3ou reall3 want so/eone 4ack this wa3C (nd do 3ou want to put 3our e+ lo'er in the position of ha'in% to call the police to stop 3our suicide atte/ptC (nd who wants to %o out with so/eone who is co/pletel3 insaneC This is a 'er3 4ad idea. If 3ou trul3 ha'e suicidal thou%hts 4ecause of 3our e+ lo'er6 3ou need to %o to the .H. This is how 3ou %et help. 9ou should not use the suicidal thou%hts as a tool to %et 4ack with 3our e+ - this will ne'er work. 'o out with their friends for spite 0ea'e their friends alone. ,oppin% into 4ed with their 4rother6 sister6 cousin6 4est friend or /other is not the wa3 to %et the/ 4ack or %et so/e sort of twisted re'en%e. It is /erel3 4rin%in% so/e other innocent part3 into the /elee. o not %o out with their friends or fa/il3 /e/4ers as a wa3 to %et the/ 4ack or to %et 4ack at the/. *ush back to the( if they call If6 for so/e reason6 3our e+ calls 3ou6 3ou should not rush to call the/

4ack. 9ou should pla3 it cool. In so/e cases6 the e+ will want to %ratif3 his or her e%o and call to see if 3ou are still pinin% for the/. not fall into that trap. If 3our e+ calls 3ou6 3ou can call 4ack ;4ut not ri%ht awa3< and see what the3 want. If the3 su%%est that 3ou %et 4ack to%ether6 su%%est the coffee date. a 3o-3o. O4'iousl36 an3 t3pe of 'iolence or cri/inal deface/ent should 4e a'oided. $an3 people resort to this as a wa3 to %et so/e attention fro/ their e+ lo'er6 e'en if it is ne%ati'e attention. This is o4'iousl3 4eha'ior that 3ou want to a'oid when 3ou are dealin% with 3our e+ lo'er or an3one else. He/e/4er6 the o47ecti'e is to 4e facin% hi/ or her in the coffee shop - not the courtroo/. o not i//ediatel3 7u/p 4ack with the/ as the3 /a3 then decide that the3 can strin% 3ou alon% like o

Chapter +ine - A True $uccess $tory
I ha'e /an3 true stories when it co/es to people who ha'e %otten 4ack with their e+ lo'ers and who ha'e followed the ad'ice as outlined in this 4ook. The 4est success stor3 that I can share is that of /3 son and his %irlfriend. $3 son and his %irlfriend had a fi%ht and she 4roke up with hi/. ,e was shattered. The3 had 4een to%ether a 3ear and a half and she was onl3 his second serious %irlfriend. ,e did not know what to do and went throu%h the %a/ut of e/otions But 4ecause he knew that I had successfull3 coached others to %et 4ack to%ether after a 4reakup6 he decided6 for once in his life6 to take /3 ad'ice. ,e was de'astated when she put herself as =sin%le? on her $3space pa%e. But he did not kick her off as his friend. ,e did not call her repeatedl3 and went for two weeks without callin% her at all. .ach da36 he used /3 support as well as that of his friends to fi%ht an3 ur%e to contact her. ,e did %et in touch with her after two weeks. ,e talked to her and the3 decided to sta3 as friends. ,e then went on with his life with his friends6 while casuall3 keepin% in touch. ,e did not do the coffee date ri%ht awa3 4ecause he knew that she was not read3 to %et 4ack to%ether with hi/. >hen he found out she was datin% so/eone else6 he was upset6 4ut still continued with his life. ,e e'en started takin% interests in other %irls. ,e 4e%an datin% a%ain casuall36 4ut he still lo'ed his e+

%irlfriend. (4out & /onths after the3 had 4roken up6 he found out fro/ a friend that she ne'er reall3 liked the %u3 she dated after hi/ ;it was a re4ound relationship< and called her for the coffee date. *he went. The3 went to a local coffee shop and had a nice ti/e out. ( few da3s after that6 she called hi/. Then the calls went 4ack and forth for Auite so/e ti/e. (ll this ti/e /3 son insisted that the3 were 7ust friends and not datin%. Then the3 started %oin% out to different places to%ether. To the /o'ies. Out to dinner. This continued for a4out a /onth. The entire ti/e /3 son said the3 were not datin% and kept thin%s cool. ,e still continued to %o out with his friends and ha'e a life of his own6 4ut he did not date an3 other %irls. On Dalentine5s a3 of last 3ear6 the3 decided to %et 4ack to%ether as a36 the3 cele4rated their new

4o3friend and %irlfriend. This was a little less than a 3ear after the3 4roke up. This Dalentine5s =anni'ersar3? and /3 son %a'e her an en%a%e/ent rin%. This is one of /an3 success stories that occurred 4ecause so/eone followed the ad'ice in this 4ook. $3 son was successful at %ettin% 4ack with his e+ %irlfriend 4ecause the ti/in% issue resol'ed itself6 4oth of the/ /atured a 4it6 and neither one of the/ resorted to 4ad 4eha'ior durin% the 4reakup. The first thin% I told /3 son when he said the3 4roke up was to follow /3 ad'ice and not contact her 4e%%in% and pleadin%. Of all the people I helped reunite with their e+ lo'ers6 this was the /ost %ratif3in% for /e.

(s lon% as 3ou follow the outline in this 4ook and do not displa3 an3 of the inappropriate 4eha'ior that is illustrated here6 3ou ha'e a %ood chance of %ettin% 4ack with 3our e+. The hardest part is the no contact rule that 3ou /ust /aintain after the 4reak up. He/e/4er the e+a/ple that I %a'e of the 0aw and Order episode and start workin% on reunitin% the /inute that 3ou disco'er a4out the 4reakup6 and 3ou ha'e a 4etter chance of winnin% 3our appeal to %et 4ack to%ether. Build up 3our confidence6 spend so/e ti/e alone6 disco'er ho44ies and thin%s that 3ou like to do that do not in'ol'e 3our e+ and fi%ht off an3 ur%e to 4eha'e 4adl3 and 3ou can %et 4ack to%ether with 3our e+. If 3ou do not %et 4ack to%ether with the/6 re/e/4er that 3ou will still ha'e e/er%ed a healthier and /ore confident person who will 4e all the /ore read3 for their ne+t relationship. He/e/4er to keep 3our friends close and use the/ as well as 3our fa/il3 /e/4ers as a support %roup durin% the tr3in% ti/e of the 4reakup. He/e/4er that 3our friends and fa/il3 are there for 3ou to tr3 to help 3ou throu%h this ti/e. 0ean on the/6 follow the lessons in this 4ook6 4uild up 3ou own self confidence and 3ou ha'e an e+cellent chance of %ettin% 4ack to%ether with 3our e+. Or6 at the 'er3 least6 so/e other luck3 %irl or %u3.

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