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5 Steps to Accomplishing your Goals
Most of the time I think we can cruise through life without having any major goals. However, for things that are truly worth accomplishing, specifying the ins and outs of a goal is pretty important. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a few simple steps we can follow to describe how we can approach our goals and ensure we accomplish them? Well, here’s my attempt at defining a nice simple 5 step framework anyone can follow. In this post, I’ll use losing weight, getting fit and going to the gym as one concrete example. However, you can apply it to any goal you have as the steps are equally as relevant. 1. Define your goal and give it shape The very first thing you need to do is to define your goal. After all, without knowing what the goal actually is, how can you go about accomplishing it? Goal setting is an art form. It is about articulating what your goal is about, being realistic in whether you can accomplish it or not and providing the metrics to track your progress. I’ve written about the characteristics of a good goal before, so read that post first if you haven’t yet done so. To give your goal shape, I find it is helpful to actually write it down. Get a fresh piece of paper and describe each of the following characteristics for your goal. In my example of losing weight and getting fit:
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Conceivable: I intend to lose 24 kgs within 12 months and be capable of running 3 kms in 10 mins. Achievable: I am able to commit to two 90 min sessions. With a proper training program and commitment, I am assured by various fitness instructors that this is achievable. Measurable: I will track how many kgs I lose each month. In the simplest scenario, I must lose 2 kgs per month to attain my goal. Aligned: Losing weight and getting fit is congruent to my other goals in life which is about being happy about who I am and how I look. Worthwhile: I acknowledge this is a challenging task, but it is something worth accomplishing. I would like to live a healthy life so I can watch my kids grow up and get married. Desirable: This is something I truly wish to accomplish and will do everything I can to attain it. I desire this more than eating fried chickens and carrot cakes.

2. Identify the next few tasks Once you have your goal properly defined and shaped, identify the next few tasks you need to do in relation to your goal. Unlike traditional project management where you define all the tasks, dependencies and contingencies, this step is about identifying the next few tasks only.

Why the next few only? There are a couple of reasons: Firstly, unless you are used to planning or have a crystal ball, there is no way you can accurately plan every single action you need to take to accomplish your goal. Secondly, you can only work on a few things at a time, so all you need is a few actions to start the ball rolling. In my example, the next tasks to being fit and healthy are:
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Assess the equipment, staff and pricing for all local gyms. Buy two sets of appropriate gym wear. Get some good headphones to plug into the gym’s music system. Free up all after work commitments for Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Although there are possibly a myriad of other tasks I would have to act on to accomplish this goal, they are not essentially the next tasks. For example, getting a trainer and an exercise program are tasks I can only perform after signing up with a particular gym so I don’t bother writing these down now. Try it for yourself. First write down the definition of your goal. On the same piece of paper, write down the next 3-5 things you need to do in relation to this goal. 3. Set aside time and work through your tasks After you have defined your goal and identified the next tasks and actions, prepare some time to actually work on them. One effective technique I have found which works for me is Time boxing. Essentially, Time boxing is a technique in which we limit the amount of time we spend on a given task. So instead of working until the task is “done”, we spend say 30 mins on it. It is either “done” at that point or we schedule another 30 mins to work on it another time. Time boxing is effective because we instantly focus on what’s important, avoid potential overruns and can act as a motivator against procrastination. Another thing I should mention here is the importance of actually dedicating a time slot for working at your tasks. By this I mean, actually blocking out a period in the day or week in which you are actively looking at your task list and crossing things off. The reason why this is important is because we can have busy lives and sometimes we use this as an excuse not to do something. By allocating time, we have no excuses and can also establish good habits and positive patterns. In my example, blocking out 90 mins on Tuesday and Thursday nights after work applies both the Time boxing and the regular routine techniques to my weekly patterns. 4. Review and reward One of the most important thing about accomplishing goals is measuring your progress and reviewing your goal and assumptions as you go. If you are measuring well against your goal, you can reward yourself.

The trick about reviewing your goals and tasks is to pick a system that you trust. Some people prefer the paper based planners, whilst others prefer the electronic alternatives like a PDA or Microsoft Outlook. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter. What’s important is to have a system you trust and will look at periodically. In the past, I used Outlook to track my outstanding tasks. However, this has proved ineffective for me because I split my day between work and home and never do I have a single Outlook installation which has both my “work” and “personal” tasks available at the same time. As a consequence, I didn’t look at the tasks periodically and eventually stopped adding them altogether. Why is it important to reward yourself? Well, some goals are difficult to accomplish and may require both time and ongoing effort. Rewarding yourself is simple way keep motivated. In my example on fitness and going to the gym, I can reward myself by buying a new set of running shoes in order to encourage myself to reach that 3 kms in 10 mins benchmark. 5. Revisit, revise and reassess if required The flip side of tracking well is not tracking well. You may have to revise your goal or reassess any assumptions you may have made in order to be pragmatic and realistic about how achievable your goals really are. Why is it important to revise our plans? Sometimes we set goals which are simply unrealistic, perhaps through no fault of our own. For example, dedicating two days each week to go to the gym could be too demanding on our schedules. Perhaps we have to pick the kids up from day care after work or we have a deadline which requires us to stay a bit later. Whatever the reasons, sometimes things don’t pan out as we originally planned. That’s ok, all we need to do is revise our plans. That could mean scaling back our commitments or planning around them. If work is making us stay back late, perhaps we can consider going to the gym in the mornings or take shorter lunch breaks. One common mistake I see people make is punishing themselves when they fail to meet a certain commitment. For example, if I have committed to two days per week of going to the gym, missing one session may provoke a vengeful reaction from my inner self. I can punish myself by promising to go three times next week. In my experience, this is usually a bad idea for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we may make good on our promise in the short term but seldom would it work in the longer term. So what happens if we miss another session or another or another? Are we going to keep promising to have three session weeks? Secondly, it associates a negative thing to our goal. Given enough occurrences of this negative thing, we may give up the goal entirely which is obviously something which we do not want to happen. I prefer the approach of revising our plans or our initial assumptions. This keeps our mind focused on the positives of our goal and outcomes. The trick is to determine the fine line in the sand between revising our goals because the assumptions were incorrect and our general “slackness” in working at our next tasks and actions.

In conclusion

The 5 steps I have described above hopefully can provide you with a framework for accomplishing your goals. Remember, start with a well defined goal by ensuring you describe the 6 characteristics of a good goal. If you want more reading material, you can also take a look at Steve Pavlina’s latest post in which he talks about setting goals you will actually achieve. Once you have your goal defined, identify the next immediate tasks and actions. Then set aside some time and block it out so you can actually dedicate some brain power and resources to completing them. Frequently review your progress and either reward yourself or revise your plans. If you have any comments about goal setting and this simple 5 step framework, feel free to leave a comment. Related Posts
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Comments (20) | Motivation, Personal Development, Productivity If you like this post or have comments you wish to share, please use the form below. Alternately, you may trackback from your site.

20 Responses to “5 Steps to Accomplishing your Goals”
1. Goal setting says:
August 3rd, 2006 at 5:22 pm

[...] If you think you are up for it, I strongly suggest taking a look at my 5 step framework for accomplishing your goals. It’s easy to follow and provides a very simple and high level overview of the things you need to consider and remember about goal setting and following through. In my case, what is an Entrepreneur? Why do I want to be one? How do I know if I have become one? Am I already an Entrepreneur? Will I ever be able to become one? These are all great questions and I have dedicated a future post to addressing them. Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]
2. Creating a Better Life says:
August 6th, 2006 at 7:09 pm

The Personal Development Carnival – August 6, 2006

Welcome to the latest edition of the Personal Development Carnival! — Paul at Paul’s Tips presents How to develop more sophisticated taste The Womom at womom presents On Being Offended Jeannie Bauer at Bouncing Back presents Never Make Majo…
3. Bryan C Fleming says:
August 9th, 2006 at 4:12 am

Personal Growth Carnival for August 8th Great articles keep comming in every week. If you have a blog of your own, I highly encourage you to post your best article in next week’s carnival. It’s a great way to get your …
4. Jeroen Sangers says:
August 15th, 2006 at 2:51 am

Hello Dave, I’ve just discovered your weblog, and already like it. Your writing style is very clear and you put a lot of personal experience in your posts. Thanks!
5. Hayden Shumsky says:
August 15th, 2006 at 5:32 am

Dave, You’ve written a good post here, covering all the major steps to achieving your goals. I like the way you’ve defined a good result- it must be achievable, measurable, worthwhile, etc. This is absolutely crucial to the process. The only missing piece is the step of assessing where one is now in relation to the final goal. Such an assesment is a good stimulus for ideas and possible next steps. I’d like to point you to a similar post on my blog entitled “5 steps to Creating Successful Outcomes.” It can be found here, http://www.haydencoach.com/2006/08/03/5-steps-tocreating-successful-outcomes/ I hope that this is helpful to you and your readers.
6. Bryan C. Fleming » Blog Archive » Personal Growth Carnival for August 8th says:
October 24th, 2006 at 11:54 pm

[...] Dave Cheong submitted an article entitled:5 Steps to Accomplishing your Goals. I’m going to be covering this topic soon. A good read. Thanks Dave. [...]
7. sara says:
November 8th, 2006 at 5:35 am

i think that its not that hard to set any kind of goals if you actually try it to the best you can . its not impossible to do in life
8. Dave Cheong says:
November 8th, 2006 at 8:21 am

Hi Sara, That’s true, however I find quite a lot of people go through life without setting goals for themselves so they wander through it aimlessly and being less than they could be. The other part about goal setting is to be able to set good goals which are well defined. You can’t simply say, I’m going to be “successful” when you haven’t quantified what “successful” means. dave
9. 10 R’s to Apply if you Want to Succeed says:
February 5th, 2007 at 9:06 pm

[...] I have been watching recently the increase in popularity of my post about the 5 steps to accomplish your goals with some interest. When I first wrote the article, I was hoping to articulate a simple framework for anyone to follow. Keeping it simple was important, because in our times of need, simple things can help to keep us motivated and get back on track. [...]
10. 96iantSteps · Accomplishing those goals says:
February 19th, 2007 at 2:59 am

[...] I came upon two interesting posts on setting, refining, and achieving your goals. The first post 5 Steps to Accomplishing your Goals lays out a decent framework of: [...]
11. Tabib Idriss says:
July 11th, 2007 at 10:22 pm

Who’s fault if the five steps will not give a positive result ? Please advise ! Tabib
12. James Soh says:
August 3rd, 2007 at 4:01 pm

Hey Dave, Nice framework you have there. The first step of defining a goal is definitely the most important. It must be a goal you believe you can achieve.

If you have a goal that you must achieve but at first glance seems a bit unbelievable. Work it down to a smaller goal that you believe is achievable and is actually an intermediate goal to that which you want to achieve. In that way you can move on in the right direction of your ultimate goal. Cheers James
13. 77 Great Lists You Absolutely Need to Check Out says:
August 9th, 2007 at 7:57 pm

[...] 5 Steps to Accomplishing your Goals (great advice on setting up goals and getting going on them) [...]
14. Phil says:
September 20th, 2007 at 8:20 pm

True, I’ve realised as a new business owner that you can’t measure your success if you’re not measuring anything! It’s true. I have so much to change in my life. Phil
15. suchitt dave, advocate, supreme court, india says:
April 17th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Dave, I think goal – setting or goal – tracking requires some form of discipline. In fact there is a convergence of “Will” of a person to ensure that what is desired is achieved. Albeit it is in smaller steps that you can come back to do your task. This way your article provides very practical and useful way of goal achieving. You cannot eat your meal at once. You go bite by bite. And in no time you are finished. This is the best way. Our brains find it difficult to finish a task if the task is too bit. But just saying “Only so much .. not more” will help. Say for instance, you want to exercise. Don’t say I will exercise for next five years to come. It is better to say ‘I will exercise today’. Morning – simply get up and say “Only Today”. Go and exercise. Next day again say “Only Today”. Well, that’s a small task to do. Exercise just for an hour and no more. But doing this say for two weeks, eventually will build a good habit that we may not like to leave. Your posts are indeed great, keep writing.

16. animate my life says:
January 31st, 2009 at 4:21 am

Great article… I have been wandering through my life without a clear idea of goals. I hope these steps work for me.
17. harry says:
February 15th, 2009 at 3:10 am

Very nice ideas about goal setting. But one thing I think a lot of people tend to ignore is the importance of tracking the progress on goals. I recommand a goal tracking and to do list management web site GoalsOnTrack. You will see the instant progress update after completing a task on your goal. It’s free and worth a try. http://www.goalsontrack.com
18. Why Getting Personal Stuff Done Is Hard says:
April 24th, 2009 at 5:20 pm

[...] I realised the other day, I don’t have well defined goals for blogging. This stems from the realisation that the two biggest problems with finishing personal tasks (like writing on a blog) are: [...]
19. 100 Killer Blog Posts to Help You Achieve Your Dreams | Online Universities.com says:
August 8th, 2009 at 6:21 am

[...] 5 Steps to Accomplishing Your Goals: You can bring your dreams within reach by following this advice. [...]
20. K Amber says:
September 18th, 2009 at 8:54 pm

Goals are much easier to realise when your brain wave is at alpha level. It will be less distracted and easier to direct your laser focus. Find out more on http://www.simplemindpower.com/blog/



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18 ways to stay focused at work

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Waking up early - 15 tips that work Time boxing is an effective getting things done strategy 5 steps to accomplishing your goals 10 R's to apply if you want to succeed 15 tips to cope with a demanding life How to overcome distractions anytime 8 simple things you can do to encourage others Top 14 stumbling blocks for new businesses Why McDonald's won't sell you curry Grocery Shopping - for smart people 13 Problem solving nuggets everyone should know Broken Windows Theory in software and your personal life Our limitations are self imposed We can be happy if we choose to Improve your life one step at a time Developing positive patterns

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Simple things you can do to encourage others

These days, much of my free time is focused intently on either writing articles or investigating business opportunities. I can say I’ve mostly eliminated excessive time wasting activities like playing on the Xbox, watching TV and browsing Digg. I’m feeling more productive and I’m getting things done. Life is good! However, as with anything worth accomplishing, I understand my transition to a full-time Entrepreneur will naturally take time and perseverance. Which is why I’d like to say thank you to my family and friends. They’ve been helping by providing encouragement especially during periods when I was feeling down and demotivated. In case you’re wondering, this happens every now and then, in particular when I’m trying to overcome my self imposed limitations. This writing gig is hard work! Let me share with you a few techniques of encouraging others I have observed which works. I can pretty much vouch for each of these because they have been applied on me at one stage or another.














Show genuine interest. I believe this is by far the most effective way of encouraging others. Let them know you care. Express genuine interest by asking questions. Get them talking. I find the act of talking and thinking can fire up the engines (roar!). With some hope and luck, this can lead to positive action. But don’t be fake about it and don’t go overboard. Acknowledge what’s important to them. When you acknowledge what’s important to others, you provide a form of affirmation and validation about who they are and what they’re doing. Whether they can admit it or not, each of them deep down craves this acknowledgement. The affirmation and validation is like nitro for their confidence and selfesteem. Say “Well done”. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. If it’s easy, then it’s not worth doing. Worthwhile things always takes time and effort. One good way of providing encouragement is simply by saying “Well done” or “Congratulations”. These magical Words of Encouragement at the right time can make all the difference between “keep going” and “give up”. Say “Thank you”. Common courtesy. Good manners. That what this tip is about. It’s only natural to expect a reward after hard work. It’s only natural to thank someone when they do something for you. You can start now. Thank your wife after she cooks a nice meal. Thank your friend for lending you that Stargate DVD. A simple thank you lets others know what they have done is worthwhile and meaningful to you. Reciprocate the favour. If someone does something nice for you, a great way to show your appreciation is simply to reciprocate the favour. Think of this as a pendulum. They do something nice for you. You do something nice for them. They do something nice for you. You do something nice for them. And so on… Respond with something unexpected. Another effective way to encourage others is to respond with something totally unexpected. Out of the blue. That’s when the maximum impact is delivered. Such acts can reach them at an emotional level and our brains are hard wired to respond to emotional things. Ask for advice or confide in them. This is like flattery. Haven’t you felt like you were on top of the world when your peers asked you for advice or confided in you about something



personal or important to them? Didn’t that make you want to help and do everything you can to ensure their faith in you is well founded? Offer to lend a hand. Waiting for someone to ask you for advice is passive. You can be proactive by offering to lend a hand. If that person sees that you are willing to commit your own time and energy in their interests, they will be more committed to seeing it through and less likely to give up themselves.

In my experience, whenever my family and friends have shown genuine interest in my goals, I became more enthusiastic myself. Often my wife would ask – “How am I going?” or “What are you looking at now?” or “I like your latest article”. Simple words? Perhaps. But delivered at the right time, the effect is profound! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – enlist your family and friends in your cause. Do you have a spouse or friend who is trying to accomplish something and you need to provide encouragement? Do you have a child who is thinking about a certain vocation but is unsure? Perhaps, your son or daughter would like to pursue a career in the arts, interior design or as a sports athlete? If you do, then they are going to need as much encouragement as they can get. Giving encouragement can boost that person’s motivation, which in turn lead to actions and finally results. As I’ve previously written, personal development is about incremental changes and step by step improvements. Only in this manner can we inch closer to fulfilling greater and more ambitious goals. So, start now. As a recipient of encouragement, I can attest to its effects. I’m feeling great. I’m feeling positive. I’m getting things done.

18 Ways to Stay Focused at Work

Over the years I have worked at many client sites and a variety of office layouts. On one project in particular, we had as many as 80 people in a project team, seated via an open plan arrangement. It was pretty difficult trying to stay focused in an environment like this. These days, the projects I’m on are typically smaller, but there are still a number of distractions which frequently interrupt my working groove. So what are some of the things we can do to minimise such interruptions and distractions? Here’s my list of 18 ways to stay focused at work:
1. Write out a daily task list and plan your day. There’s nothing like a task list sitting next

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to you to keep you focused. When you have a list of the things you need to accomplish in a day, having that close to you constantly reminding you of what needs to be done is a great way of keeping on track. Allocate time slots colleagues can interrupt you. In a busy work place, people are moving and talking all the time. If you play a role in a team where others need to interact with you, try allocating a time slot they can interrupt you. Instead of having people stop by your desk every 10 mins and asking you questions, let them know of a time in the day, say between 2-4pm you can be interrupted. At all other times, you can really get some work done. Apply time boxing. In a previous article, I wrote about the benefits of time boxing. Instead of working at something till it is done, try working on it for a limited period, say 30 mins. By that time, the task is either completed or you allocate another time slot, perhaps in another day, to pick it up again. This way, you keep your work fresh and engaging throughout the entire working day. Setup filters in your email. If you spend a lot of your time communicating and planning in front of your computer, chances are you deal with emails on a frequent basis. Setting up filters in your email client can be a great way of sorting out what’s important and urgent from personal stuff which can wait. Instead of dealing with a single Inbox with hundreds of unread email, you only need to deal with smaller folders categorised by project, priority and context. Do not check personal email in the morning. Checking personal emails can be very distracting even with filters setup. This is especially true when your friends send you links to interesting articles, jokes or videos on YouTube. If you’re not careful, you can get side tracked for hours. Instead of checking your personal email as soon as you get in, try starting work straight away. This will build up some momentum as you ease into your work day. You should check your personal email only after you have a few tasks completed or underway. Also, if you don’t want to perpetuate a particular distracting email thread, just don’t reply to it until after work. Set your IM status. If you use Instant Messenger, when you don’t want to be disturbed, make use of the status and set yourself as being away or busy. Your friends and colleagues will honour that. They can either send you an email or look you up later when you aren’t as busy. Listen to the right types of music. Music is a great way of settling into the working routine. In addition, having music can drown out office noises like printers and background chattering. Be careful though, depending on personal preference, some types of music are

not particularly conducive to productive work. For me, I can’t work when listening to songs with lots of lyrics because the words interrupt my thinking process. 8. Use the headphones but leave the music off. Some people prefer to have absolute silence when working. I think that also depends on what kind of work you are doing. If you’re doing some serious planning or something computational, having music blasting in your ears may not be the best thing for keeping focused. Try using headphones or ear plugs to block out the background noise but leave the music off. 9. Fill up a water bottle. Keeping yourself hydrated is pretty important for all sorts of health reasons. Instead of going to the water cooler with your glass every hour, try filling up a water bottle at the start of the day. This does a couple of things – firstly, it limits the starts/stops associated every time you get up for water and secondly, it avoids being sucked into lengthy discussions around the water cooler. 10. Find the best time to do repetitive and boring tasks. No matter how much you try to avoid it, you’re going to have to face doing things which are either repetitive or boring. For these tasks, I find it is best to choose a time in the day to work on them. For example, I’m more alert at the start of the day, so it’s better to work on things which require brain power early. Working on boring tasks that can be done via auto-pilot are better left towards the end of the day when I’m usually tired. 11. Bring your lunch and have it at your desk. I’m not suggesting you do this every day, but if you really have to focus and are trying to meet a deadline, having your lunch at your desk really helps. The normal one hour lunch break can really interrupt any momentum you might have built up during the morning. I find when I’m eating lunch at my desk, my lunch breaks are shorter and I can get through a few emails while I’m eating. After I’m done, I’m straight back working on the next task. 12. Don’t make long personal calls. Most of us have a good separation between our working and personal lives (or a least try to). I think we can all agree we should avoid having work intrude on our personal time as much as possible. The reverse of this also applies. Try limiting the time you spend doing personal things during work as they can be distracting and draining on your motivation. For example, you do not really want to be thinking about your weekend away with your spouse when you really need to get things done. 13. Clean up your desk. Some of you may have desks which can only be described as ordered chaos. That’s not necessarily a bad thing as long as you can find what you need without too much digging around. However, if you can’t, I suggest cleaning up your desk. That doesn’t mean having an empty desk, it just means having neat stacks of paper, all filed in the correct location. It also helps tremendously having all the things you need easily within arms reach. For example, if you need a place to write, having your pen and notepad close by and easily accessible is incredibly useful. 14. Get a good chair. If you sit for long hours at your desk and I’m sure some of you do, you might find it helpful to get a good chair. I find it’s pretty hard to stay focused when my neck and back are sore because I have a bad setup at my desk. A good chair can eliminate this, allowing you to work for long stretches without breaks and physical distractions. 15. Use shortcuts on your computer. If you find you do the same thing with your computer more than once throughout the day, you might find it helpful to look for ways in which you can do them without too much manual repetition. For example, if there’s a project folder you access all the time, try adding a shortcut to your Explorer or Finder so you can get access to it with a single click, instead of expanding folder after folder in the tree panel.

16. Close programs you’re not using. As a software engineer, I use a lot of programs

important to my work. However, in most cases, I only need a few applications open at the same time. Instead of Alt-Tabbing constantly and fighting the computer to locate the program you need, try only having the applications you need open. Close everything else. For example, if you have already located a file and no longer need a particular Explorer or Finder instance open, close it. There’s no reason to leave it around at all. 17. Limit time on Digg, Delicious, news sites and blogs. I don’t think I need to say too much about this. There are so many sites on the Internet worth looking at, including this site . Digg, Delicious, news and blogs are great from an interest perspective, but they can really take you away from the work you should be working on. Try to limit going to these sites during the working day. If you really have to, try doing it during your lunch time. No, you don’t need to have your finger on the pulse every single minute of the day… 18. Change your mindset and make work fun. For me, I find it difficult to stay focused on doing things I’m not by nature interested in doing. In most cases, there’s probably nothing I can do about it. However, be mindful of the fact that your perception of work is something you can control. For my last tip here, I suggest you try changing your mindset or turning work into a game. An unfocused mind, is an unchallenged mind. So make things fun! I hope these tips will take you closer to more focused and productive work days. If you are still in need for more tips about staying focused, you can take a look at a previous blockbuster smash hit article I wrote entitled 11 ways of staying focused. In that article, I approached the issue from a top down, rather than bottom up perspective. Ok, good luck! If you like this article, tell your friends, Digg it or add it to your Delicious bookmarks. http://www.davecheong.com/2006/07/06/improve-your-life-one-step-at-a-time/

Improve your life one step at a time
Comments (25)
Personal development is hard work. If you have ever invested your time and energy towards improving yourself, you’d know that the road to being happier and more successful is not easy. Over the years, I have read many books and tried numerous techniques with varying results. The one constant thing I have observed when I have been successful in personal development is incremental change – the act of taking baby steps and building upon each victory one at a time. I think deep down each of us has a desire to be better than we are. Maybe you wish you could be a more efficient worker, better husband, healthier etc. Some of you may even have read a few personal development books in the hope of learning secrets to be successful. For the others, this desire is just that – a wish that was never acted upon. Perhaps you were too afraid to try. What if you failed? Perhaps you did try, but the techniques did not work or the results were disappointing. However, whatever your goal is and irrespective of whether you tried or not, the following universal truths apply:

1. Things worth attaining takes time In this age with the Internet so easily accessible, we demand instant gratification. If we have a question, chances are we can Google it or search on Wikipedia for answers. If we need to purchase a book, Amazon is simply a click away. However, I believe that all things worth attaining takes time. Personal development is not something that can be rushed. After all, you are trying to change what’s core about you. Breaking bad habits and instigating good patterns is not an easy thing to do. Developing new fundamental character traits will take some time, lots of patience and hard work to succeed. 2. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear The Chinese has a proverb. It goes “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. This is especially true for personal development. You may have read many books and even tried several techniques for a period of time, but if you were not ready for them, they won’t work for you. For example, if you are not a disciplined person, then trying to wake up early and consistently isn’t going to be easy. The tips I’ve written about may help to an extent but if you cannot consistently adhere to the guidelines, chances are you won’t succeed. I have personally rediscovered techniques, which did not work in the past, but do now. I believe they did not work before because I was not ready for them. Do not be discouraged. It is how the universe works. So as you become a more disciplined person or your perseverance improves, techniques which did not work before can suddenly produce spectacular results. 3. Build upon each success Personal development is a journey. Each of us has a different journey. Our goals are different. Our backgrounds are different. The environment and circumstances surrounding our lives are different. The thing about personal development is we build upon each success. Every victory lays the foundation for the next challenge. Along the same lines as the previous example, if your goal is to be an early riser, then discipline is a prerequisite. Set good goals that would develop this first, such as writing a journal to track the things you want to do, removing distractions or generally applying any of the other tips about how to stay focused. 4. Continual process of learning You may have heard of Tony Robbins, David Allen and other personal development gurus. Sure they may seem to have their lives in order. One would also assume they apply productivity techniques and positive thinking on a constant basis.

However, they have spent years upon years of self reflection and perpetual learning to achieve their goals. Even so, they are continually learning, perfecting their techniques and improving their mental states all the time. Do not expect to go from zero to hero in an instant. Take each challenge as a lesson, then build upon each lesson to constantly refine who you are, what you do and how you do it. 5. Don’t be discouraged with setbacks When things go well, you feel happy. However, the flip side of this is when things don’t go well, you feel sad. The reality is you cannot win all the time. There will be occasions in which you just cannot accomplish a goal. Perhaps, you are too tired because of your work commitments. Perhaps, you are distracted by other things like planning a wedding. Perhaps, you are feeling down and cannot summon the motivation. Whatever the reasons may be, do not be discouraged with setbacks. The most important thing to keep in mind is telling yourself you will try harder next time. So you’ve missed a morning by not rising early. Big deal, just try harder the next morning. Setbacks are ok, but continual setbacks are not. Do what you can to ensure you do not get trapped in a negative pattern or repeated setbacks. 6. Not all things work for everyone I’ve always believed that each of us is inherently different. Some techniques may not work for you for various reasons. There are the reasons I’ve previously highlighted, such as not being ready for them or not having the prerequisites to ensure success. Then there are other reasons, such as trying to apply techniques that just go against your nature or are not congruent with your goals. For example, if you are constrained by health issues, then perhaps stress is not something you wish to deal with. This may require you to live in a relatively stress free environment and being busy and constantly productive may not be the best thing for you health-wise. The greatest thing about personal development is there isn’t a right way and a wrong way. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, they’re lying to you. That’s a fact. Perhaps they want to sell more books? Perhaps they have found something that works for them? However, what works for them, may not necessarily work for you. Also, there are many ways to reach the same goals. 7. Celebrate your victories Your mind is a complex but powerful tool. Motivation, which describes a genuine desire to accomplish something, can be fleeting and temporary. Use as many tools as you can to maintain it. When you lose your motivation, you lose your reason to try and overcome adversity. Remember that things worth attaining takes time, lots of patience and hard work. Celebrate your victories whenever you can. I have found this to be one of the strongest techniques you can apply to maintain motivation. You are working hard for a reason. It is just human nature

that we do difficult things only for a reason. So take moments even during the day to observe and enjoy the results of your hard work and use this as a platform to newer and more ambitious goals.

15 Tips to Cope with a Demanding Life
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Six months or so ago, my life turned a corner. Here I was thinking I’m a busy person, but with the birth of my baby daughter, life is suddenly a whole different ball game. Not only am I completely time starved, I find it is also difficult to plan around the unpredictable behaviour of a baby – when she screams you just have to drop everything instantly! This begs the question – How can we cope with a demanding life?

Here’s my list of 15 tips. 1. Reflect on what’s important I find we are taking on more than our parents ever did. We’re just having busier lives. In today’s world, between working, socialising, exercising and parenting, where’s the time for relaxation? For many of us, I suspect we’ve operated in auto-pilot for so long, we don’t even know if what we’re doing is congruent to our values and goals in life. My advice is to take some time and reflect on what’s truly important in your life then structure your schedule accordingly so you can focus on the right things. 2. Be the master of your own destiny This is your life. Remember, you can be happy if you choose to and our limitations are mostly self imposed. If there is an aspect of your life which you are unhappy with, then you owe it to yourself to change and make a difference. Unless there are external factors involved, your life won’t get significantly better unless you do something about it. Take charge and be the master of your own destiny. Too stressful at work? Take on less responsibility. Delegate some tasks. Quit. Anything – just take action. 3. Simplify where possible Human needs are fundamentally basic. From a physical perspective, all we need is food, clothing and shelter. Our emotional needs are more complex, but as long as we’re happy, everything else is just bonus. Take a moment to look at your life, what you have and what you do. You might find that maybe there are aspects to your life and routine which add to your stress but aren’t really essential to your well being. Eliminate these where possible. 4. Learn to cope with stress Sometimes, things can’t be further simplified. Instead of making our lives less stressful, we can improve our stress coping abilities. Some people read a novel or practice yoga, whilst others spend hours at the golf course or take time out to go on holidays and recharge. Whatever suits your fancy, but do spend the time to de-stress. It is not healthy to operate constantly under high levels of stress. 5. Talk to yourself Talking to yourself is a powerful tool everyone should have in their personal development arsenal. I find it is useful for so many things and in all sorts of situations. When I’m faced with a stressful situation, talking to myself gets me calm so I can focus on the task at hand. When I’m unsure of what to do, I reflect on what it is I’m trying to accomplish and walk myself through the steps to get things done. When I’m distracted, talking to myself allows me to regain focus and apply the Diminishing Distractions technique. What you do and how you react, is determined by what you say to yourself. So make a habit to say the right things, to help ensure the right results. 6. Talk to others

When life feels too demanding and stressful, find someone you can confide in. Talk about your fears and problems. Don’t keep things bottled up inside. It’s easier to let steam out a little at a time than to wait until the pressure is so strong that you explode! Remember, you don’t have to live life alone. Talk to others – family or friends – and get their emotional support. Not only can they be a good sounding board, but you might find they can offer solutions to your troubles which you haven’t thought of before. 7. Leave work at work Many people I know don’t stop working when work stops. They take work home or work overtime and get home late. I find one of the most useful tools one can have to cope with a demanding lifestyle is having boundaries. Leave work at work. Make sure the planning provides sufficient time to get things done without breaking your back. It’s ok once in awhile to bring work home, but don’t do it consistently. Learn to draw boundaries and allocate suitable time boxes to spend on things. This applies to everything and not just work. 8. Remove the clutter I happen to like working with a clean desk and spacious surroundings. I feel less cramped and my brain has room for creative freedom. Not everyone works the same way of course. I have friends whose desks are literally filled with so much paper, you can’t even see the colour of the wood underneath. However, if you have an overly demanding lifestyle, try to remove the clutter. Make sure things are filed in the appropriate places, so that when you’re working on one thing you only have the material related to what you’re working on within arm’s reach. Everything else is a distraction and shouldn’t be easily accessible until you’re ready to work on them. If you work in a chaotic environment, you’re going to live a chaotic life. So clean things up. Get organised. 9. Write things down If you’re a follower of David Allen’s Getting Things Done methodology, you’d know the importance of writing things down. He believes that if you have too many things in your head, you’d inevitable forget something and they don’t get done. I echo the same sentiments with the addition that if you have too many things in your head, your stress levels tend to be higher. For example, imagine you’re at work and you’re trying not to forget to call the plumber to fix the leaks at home. Or when you’re at the park playing with your children and you’re thinking about the big meeting on Monday. Life feels a lot more complicated, doesn’t it? So, if you haven’t got a task list, start making one. Write things down and free your brain to concentrate on the tasks at hand. 10. Finish things off Whether you’re a busy professional, a college student or stay at home parent, at any one time you probably juggle several things simultaneously. Whilst multi-tasking is a good skill to have, try not to handle too many things at the same time. Instead, make a point to finish things off. I find that whenever I have unfinished tasks, part of my brain is always working on them, even though it may only be at the sub-conscious level. You may not realise it, but these unfinished tasks contribute to

your resting stress level. So try to get things done and closed off, instead of leaving them partially done and occupying precious brain cycles. 11. Learn to say ‘No’ If you find yourself being overwhelmed with the pressures of your current commitments, learn to say ‘No’ to new commitments. Saying ‘No’ isn’t an admission of weakness or reflection on your ability to cope with the pressures of life. It just means, that for now, you don’t have sufficient bandwidth to take on new things. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s better to give your existing commitments the time they deserve and do a proper job rather than take on too much and do things poorly. 12. Ask for help if you need it The smartest thing you can do when you feel like you’re overwhelmed and can’t fulfill your commitments is to ask for help. Many people are afraid to ask for help. To them, asking for help is a sign of failure or inability to get things done. To me it is the complete opposite. Asking for help shows maturity and highlights a person’s desire to do a good job. I’d rather work with someone who knows when to ask for help, than someone who works crazily, to the detriment of the project and their health. 13. Accept that life is a series of ups and downs I don’t know what the proper name for it is, but there are people who observe their health on a daily basis. Every time something unusual happens, they think it’s a terminal medical condition! Similarly, I find there are people who take life just a bit too seriously and are adversely affected emotionally whenever something bad happens. My advice is to take life a little less seriously. There will always be ups and downs. Don’t get too stressed out. This is just life. 14. Adopt a positive outlook and approach to life It won’t change the reality of your present situation, but it will change your perception of it. You can choose to either look at the obstacles life presents as problems or you can look at them as opportunities. Though it won’t relieve you from your daily pressures, adopting a positive outlook will affect how you approach life’s challenges for positive gain. Remember that life is a journey to be enjoyed. Start now and change the way you look at life. 15. Have faith in yourself The last tip I have to help with coping with a demanding life is to have faith in yourself. I’ve always believed that the human spirit is our greatest strength. Only when faced with the most difficult situations, challenges and danger do we learn and grow. Believe in yourself! Persevere. If life is tough, then be tougher. You’d be surprised by how amazing you can be if you give yourself a chance.

We can be happy if we choose to
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Personal development is about understanding how our mind works, consciously controlling our thoughts and having good patterns. Developing an awareness of how our mind works can improve any and all aspects of our lives as well as our interactions with family and friends. I’ve been interested in personal development for years – probably since I was a troubled adolescent. Our family moved to New Zealand when I was 11. In the beginning, things were difficult. Not only did we leave our close family and friends behind, we also had to deal with a different environment and foreign culture. I recall being only the second Chinese student in my school at the time! To cope with these changes, I devoured lots of self improvement, motivation and personal development books. One thing I learnt during this challenging time was the notion we can be happy if we choose to. Try this. Imagine you are holding a lemon in your hand. Can you feel the smooth yet rough texture of the skin on your hands? Is the lemon cold to your touch? Take a moment to trace your eyes across the unique grooves on the surface. Now hold the lemon to your nose. Can you smell its freshness? Use a knife and visualise yourself cutting into the lemon. Can you see what’s happening? Squeeze the juices into your mouth. Can you taste the sourness around your tongue? Swirl the lemon juice around your mouth and slowly swallow it. Are you salivating? I am! The reason for this is because our minds cannot tell the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. To our minds, the lemon was as real as a real lemon we had in our hands. This is pretty important – whatever our mind thinks, our body naturally responds. Our mind and our body co-exist in a symbiotic relationship. Our body is essentially a mechanical tool for our mind. It feeds our mind with essential nutrients to survive and function. It carries our mind wherever it wishes to go. However, we exist in our mind. We can choose what we think about, how we feel and in what way to respond to things around us. A child on a tree might think, “Whatever happens don’t fall”. Do you know what happens? He falls and breaks his arm. How many times have you thought, “Don’t forget the keys tomorrow” and then you promptly forget the keys the next day! There’s a reason for this. If we tell ourselves not to fall from the tree or not to forget the keys, at a subconscious level, that’s exactly what we’re thinking about. We are thinking about what would happen if we fell or forgot the keys because that’s what we have instructed our minds to think. One philosophy I subscribe to completely is positive thinking. If you visualise a positive result, your mind and body naturally work together to make it happen. Instead of thinking about not falling or forgetting the keys, try “If I jump, I will catch that branch” or “I will have my keys with me because it’ll be in my purse”. Now, we’re focused on the positive results instead. By controlling our thoughts and what we think about, we can influence the outcome.

If we took this to the next level, you can see that by controlling our thoughts we can actually change our lives. I know people who sit and complain about their lives all the time. “I hate my job”, “Why am I fat and ugly?”, “If I won the lottery, I would…”, “My spouse treats me badly”, “I’m unhappy with…” etc. Sometimes it makes me angry to hear these things from people I care about. Mostly though, I feel sad. Things aren’t going to get better if you just sit and complain about how unfair life is. If you are unhappy, focus on what would make you happy. Think about the positive outcomes. You have a choice. It all begins with a simple thought. If you believe you are overweight, think about how you can implement an exercise routine. If you hare unhappy with your job, think about how you can reskill yourself and change your vocation. When good things happen to us, we feel happy. However, don’t rely on the randomness of good events to determine your happiness. Take control. Proactively put yourself in situations where you increase the frequency of good events. Do this by asking what would make you happy and what you need to do to ensure it happens. I’m convinced that this “thought creates reality” mindset as Steve Pavlina describes it, is something worth exploring. In his post, he describes one way to really test if what we think about can really affect reality or not is to change our dominant thoughts. I’m determined to try this out and will post about some experiments I will conduct over the coming weeks. If you take only one thing from this article, take this. You can change your life by choosing what you think. Your mind can influence how your body reacts. It cannot tell the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. If you focused on the positives, even if life isn’t going as you had planned, things will get better. At the very least, you will live a happier life.

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