How to Mend a Broken Heart
Content
How to mend a broken heart
by Nashedur Rahman - http://www.nashedurrahman.com/how-to-mend-a-broken-heart
How to mend a broken heart
How to mend a broken heart. We all have experiences in our lives that have left us broken hearted, leaving behind a deep residual sadness in our hearts that can never be consoled. The first time I experienced being heartbroken was when my mother died, I was inconsolable, the world around me came tumbling down and nothing made sense to me. I had mixed feelings of unjustness, guilt and resentment and lots of questions, like why did it happen to my mother? She didn’t deserve to die? Why didn’t I do more for her when she was alive? All these thoughts were flooding my mind and my brain was in meltdown trying to make sense of all this. We all have different reasons to be heartbroken for some it is loss of a parent or guardian for others it is a loss of a partner or spouse at the ending of a relationship, in all cases it was because we loved these people with all our hearts and they were special to us in so many ways and was such a major part of our lives. A broken heart can have many causes, but most people can relate to this feeling of loss when they lose a partner in a relationship. We all want to share our lives with someone in a loving relationship, which is what most people yearn for, sometimes this kind of loss can be devastating and leave you resentful and cynical about future relationships or you may become deeply sad and always anxious about relationships. Don’t let these bad experiences taint your whole life, we all have bad experiences in life, you cannot go through life without having bad experiences. Try and use these experiences positively to learn more about yourself and what you want from a potential partner, don’t start a relationship in a negative way subconsciously expecting it to fail or find fault where there isn’t any. The old adage that time heals is true to a certain extent and in time the sting of the loss loses it edge, but the remnants of the feelings still stay in your heart. And the ability to think about your loss in a more objective way or in a detached way becomes more possible without getting embroiled in the associated highly charged emotions that you initially felt. We can never completely mend a broken heart, but with the passing of time the pain that you feel in your heart dissipates and becomes less painful and the memories of your loved ones remains intact within your heart with the pain just echoing around the fringes of your spiritual heart. The burden of a broken heart can sometimes be too much for a person and the intensity of that pain remains with them for the rest of their lives. This intensity of pain can manifest itself in many different forms, from being depressed to feeling deep remorse affecting how you live your life and taints everything that you view in your life. We as humans need to love and be loved, it is part of what defines us as humans, the ability to love, the ability to share our love with someone else. Love brings joy into our hearts, it gives us purpose and meaning. Without love there is no life apart from the mechanical routines that we follow. Love is the inner life of the soul manifested by our hearts. Without this inner life we are just shells living automated lives without the very essence that makes us human. It is our hearts that love and feel compassion for our fellow man, without it we would be devoid of any feelings. Some people close their hearts and their hearts become hard and they become cynical in their lives, without realising that they are dehumanising themselves or at the very least hardening your heart and leaving you disillusioned. We need love to survive, without it we are lost, wandering the wastelands of life without a purpose. If we love, then we will always be taking a risk that our hearts could be broken. But the alternative is not to harden your hearts too much and shut everyone out, but to realise that you are always under this risk and that being heartbroken is part of life. But having a slightly hardened heart is not necessarily a bad thing, because it protects you against future potential heart breaking moments especially when it comes to relationships. Don’t let your heart die, keep it alive by remembering the people that you love and that have loved you, and how that love enriched your life in so many ways. To be heartbroken is to be human, don’t dehumanise yourself or become disillusioned and become cynical, always keep your heart open so you can feel love and feel compassion and connect with people with your heart. The initial feelings of being heartbroken can be so intense that it can be unbearable, but always remember that in time the intensity of that pain will fade and that it is ok to feel this pain and it is ok to be sad and it’s ok to cry this all part of the natural healing process of your heart, so express theses feelings in yourself and don’t try and
page 1 / 3
How to mend a broken heart
by Nashedur Rahman - http://www.nashedurrahman.com/how-to-mend-a-broken-heart
suppress them. You are human because you have a heart and your heart has been broken, let it heal. There are many ways that you can help the healing process of a broken heart. Tyr not to remain isolated in your grief, this will only let things fester in your mind, although initially you may need time to grieve privately and this is ok, we all need to come to terms with a broken heart in our own way, for some it is private grieving for others it is support from loved ones such as friends or family. I would encourage anyone that has had a broken heart to let the people around you that love you console you, because they might not be able to console you completely, but that is ok, partially consoling you is fine and it goes a long way to helping to heal your heart. Sometimes it may be difficult to find someone to support you in the healing process. For example if your broken heart was caused by the loss of a parent then your whole family will be going through the grieving process and they will be all emotionally involved in their own emotions relating to the loss ,and it may be difficult to support others in the family while in they are in emotional turmoil. In some cases there are just no family members to turn to either they have been tainted with the same negative connotations of your loss or they are grieving themselves. If this happens then try and look for good friends to support you in your healing process. If you can’t find any good friends to support you then counselling may be the best route to follow. Keeping yourself occupied can help you to direct your mind away from the pain that comes with a broken heart. It helps to distract your mind away from the painful thoughts and the reliving of the memories in your mind’s eye. This is a natural part of the healing process to not necessarily ignore the feelings that you have, but to try and distance yourself from the intensity of the pain, until the pain recedes to a manageable level for you to think about in a more rational way. The intensity of emotions associated with a broken heart can sometimes affect your ability to think and you may draw conclusions where there aren’t any. Never think that you are alone in your grief and isolate yourself away from the world. There will always be someone who has had a similar experience of being broken hearted as you, so take solace that you can share your experience with others and they will understand and be emphatic to your feelings and what you are going through. It helps to share how you feel instead of internalising your feelings, by sharing your feeling you are expressing yourself and you are helping yourself in the healing process. Always remember the people that you have loved and that have loved you, this will always keep alive the love in your hearts. Use this love to heal yourself and to give you strength, the ability to love and be loved is a gift that should always be cherished. Love gives you inner strength above and beyond any physical capabilities that you may have. Many great things in the world have been achieved through love. Things and events happen for a reason and they happen the way they do because that is the way it was meant to be. You may have a certain amount of influence on things, but ultimately life must take its course, whether it will leave you heartbroken or not, life must unfold itself as part of the natural order of things in the universe. Being heartbroken and healing is part of the personal growing process that makes us stronger as a person. When I say stronger I don’t mean that you become cynical in your life, but increases your capacity to love and understand and acknowledge that heartbreak is part of life that will enrich you because of the insights and the empathy that you can draw from this experience. Don’t harbour negative emotions in your heart for too long such as resentment, jealousy, cynicism, hate. Because these emotions can consume you and will prevent you from leading a normal life and prevent you from finding love again. These are dark emotions and we all have them, but do not cling to them for too long otherwise your life will be driven by these emotions and everything around you will be a manifestation of these emotions in some shape or form. Release these emotions and move on with your life and don’t let your heart be controlled by the darkness but let the light of love come in and illuminate your heart so you may feel the joy and happiness that comes with it. Personally for me I get great solace and draw strength from my faith in God and that nothing happens without the will of God. Whatever God has decreed will happen according to how he wills it. My perception of my life is limited and only God knows what is destined for me. God may have a reason for me to be heartbroken at this
page 2 / 3
How to mend a broken heart
by Nashedur Rahman - http://www.nashedurrahman.com/how-to-mend-a-broken-heart
stage in my life, maybe he has planned something better for me in my life or maybe God wants me to have this experience to increase my empathy and compassion so that I can empathises and support other people that have had similar experiences in their lives. I have also found that prayer is a wonderful remedy for a broken heart, through prayer you can express your inner most feelings without any recrimination to yourself or others. To be able to express the things and feelings that you may not be able to tell anyone else. Prayer makes your heat lighter by removing the darkness’s of guilt, remorse and anger by purifying it and letting the light of goodness in so that you will not have to carry around the heavy burden of these emotions. Praying gives you a deep contentment in your heart that you may not get from anything else that you do, because it is meditative and healing in its nature. Heal your heart by letting god into your heart and let him soothe the pain away replacing it with an eternal love that will never cease.
http://www.nashedurrahman.com
page 3 / 3
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by Nashedur Rahman - http://www.nashedurrahman.com/how-to-mend-a-broken-heart
How to mend a broken heart
How to mend a broken heart. We all have experiences in our lives that have left us broken hearted, leaving behind a deep residual sadness in our hearts that can never be consoled. The first time I experienced being heartbroken was when my mother died, I was inconsolable, the world around me came tumbling down and nothing made sense to me. I had mixed feelings of unjustness, guilt and resentment and lots of questions, like why did it happen to my mother? She didn’t deserve to die? Why didn’t I do more for her when she was alive? All these thoughts were flooding my mind and my brain was in meltdown trying to make sense of all this. We all have different reasons to be heartbroken for some it is loss of a parent or guardian for others it is a loss of a partner or spouse at the ending of a relationship, in all cases it was because we loved these people with all our hearts and they were special to us in so many ways and was such a major part of our lives. A broken heart can have many causes, but most people can relate to this feeling of loss when they lose a partner in a relationship. We all want to share our lives with someone in a loving relationship, which is what most people yearn for, sometimes this kind of loss can be devastating and leave you resentful and cynical about future relationships or you may become deeply sad and always anxious about relationships. Don’t let these bad experiences taint your whole life, we all have bad experiences in life, you cannot go through life without having bad experiences. Try and use these experiences positively to learn more about yourself and what you want from a potential partner, don’t start a relationship in a negative way subconsciously expecting it to fail or find fault where there isn’t any. The old adage that time heals is true to a certain extent and in time the sting of the loss loses it edge, but the remnants of the feelings still stay in your heart. And the ability to think about your loss in a more objective way or in a detached way becomes more possible without getting embroiled in the associated highly charged emotions that you initially felt. We can never completely mend a broken heart, but with the passing of time the pain that you feel in your heart dissipates and becomes less painful and the memories of your loved ones remains intact within your heart with the pain just echoing around the fringes of your spiritual heart. The burden of a broken heart can sometimes be too much for a person and the intensity of that pain remains with them for the rest of their lives. This intensity of pain can manifest itself in many different forms, from being depressed to feeling deep remorse affecting how you live your life and taints everything that you view in your life. We as humans need to love and be loved, it is part of what defines us as humans, the ability to love, the ability to share our love with someone else. Love brings joy into our hearts, it gives us purpose and meaning. Without love there is no life apart from the mechanical routines that we follow. Love is the inner life of the soul manifested by our hearts. Without this inner life we are just shells living automated lives without the very essence that makes us human. It is our hearts that love and feel compassion for our fellow man, without it we would be devoid of any feelings. Some people close their hearts and their hearts become hard and they become cynical in their lives, without realising that they are dehumanising themselves or at the very least hardening your heart and leaving you disillusioned. We need love to survive, without it we are lost, wandering the wastelands of life without a purpose. If we love, then we will always be taking a risk that our hearts could be broken. But the alternative is not to harden your hearts too much and shut everyone out, but to realise that you are always under this risk and that being heartbroken is part of life. But having a slightly hardened heart is not necessarily a bad thing, because it protects you against future potential heart breaking moments especially when it comes to relationships. Don’t let your heart die, keep it alive by remembering the people that you love and that have loved you, and how that love enriched your life in so many ways. To be heartbroken is to be human, don’t dehumanise yourself or become disillusioned and become cynical, always keep your heart open so you can feel love and feel compassion and connect with people with your heart. The initial feelings of being heartbroken can be so intense that it can be unbearable, but always remember that in time the intensity of that pain will fade and that it is ok to feel this pain and it is ok to be sad and it’s ok to cry this all part of the natural healing process of your heart, so express theses feelings in yourself and don’t try and
page 1 / 3
How to mend a broken heart
by Nashedur Rahman - http://www.nashedurrahman.com/how-to-mend-a-broken-heart
suppress them. You are human because you have a heart and your heart has been broken, let it heal. There are many ways that you can help the healing process of a broken heart. Tyr not to remain isolated in your grief, this will only let things fester in your mind, although initially you may need time to grieve privately and this is ok, we all need to come to terms with a broken heart in our own way, for some it is private grieving for others it is support from loved ones such as friends or family. I would encourage anyone that has had a broken heart to let the people around you that love you console you, because they might not be able to console you completely, but that is ok, partially consoling you is fine and it goes a long way to helping to heal your heart. Sometimes it may be difficult to find someone to support you in the healing process. For example if your broken heart was caused by the loss of a parent then your whole family will be going through the grieving process and they will be all emotionally involved in their own emotions relating to the loss ,and it may be difficult to support others in the family while in they are in emotional turmoil. In some cases there are just no family members to turn to either they have been tainted with the same negative connotations of your loss or they are grieving themselves. If this happens then try and look for good friends to support you in your healing process. If you can’t find any good friends to support you then counselling may be the best route to follow. Keeping yourself occupied can help you to direct your mind away from the pain that comes with a broken heart. It helps to distract your mind away from the painful thoughts and the reliving of the memories in your mind’s eye. This is a natural part of the healing process to not necessarily ignore the feelings that you have, but to try and distance yourself from the intensity of the pain, until the pain recedes to a manageable level for you to think about in a more rational way. The intensity of emotions associated with a broken heart can sometimes affect your ability to think and you may draw conclusions where there aren’t any. Never think that you are alone in your grief and isolate yourself away from the world. There will always be someone who has had a similar experience of being broken hearted as you, so take solace that you can share your experience with others and they will understand and be emphatic to your feelings and what you are going through. It helps to share how you feel instead of internalising your feelings, by sharing your feeling you are expressing yourself and you are helping yourself in the healing process. Always remember the people that you have loved and that have loved you, this will always keep alive the love in your hearts. Use this love to heal yourself and to give you strength, the ability to love and be loved is a gift that should always be cherished. Love gives you inner strength above and beyond any physical capabilities that you may have. Many great things in the world have been achieved through love. Things and events happen for a reason and they happen the way they do because that is the way it was meant to be. You may have a certain amount of influence on things, but ultimately life must take its course, whether it will leave you heartbroken or not, life must unfold itself as part of the natural order of things in the universe. Being heartbroken and healing is part of the personal growing process that makes us stronger as a person. When I say stronger I don’t mean that you become cynical in your life, but increases your capacity to love and understand and acknowledge that heartbreak is part of life that will enrich you because of the insights and the empathy that you can draw from this experience. Don’t harbour negative emotions in your heart for too long such as resentment, jealousy, cynicism, hate. Because these emotions can consume you and will prevent you from leading a normal life and prevent you from finding love again. These are dark emotions and we all have them, but do not cling to them for too long otherwise your life will be driven by these emotions and everything around you will be a manifestation of these emotions in some shape or form. Release these emotions and move on with your life and don’t let your heart be controlled by the darkness but let the light of love come in and illuminate your heart so you may feel the joy and happiness that comes with it. Personally for me I get great solace and draw strength from my faith in God and that nothing happens without the will of God. Whatever God has decreed will happen according to how he wills it. My perception of my life is limited and only God knows what is destined for me. God may have a reason for me to be heartbroken at this
page 2 / 3
How to mend a broken heart
by Nashedur Rahman - http://www.nashedurrahman.com/how-to-mend-a-broken-heart
stage in my life, maybe he has planned something better for me in my life or maybe God wants me to have this experience to increase my empathy and compassion so that I can empathises and support other people that have had similar experiences in their lives. I have also found that prayer is a wonderful remedy for a broken heart, through prayer you can express your inner most feelings without any recrimination to yourself or others. To be able to express the things and feelings that you may not be able to tell anyone else. Prayer makes your heat lighter by removing the darkness’s of guilt, remorse and anger by purifying it and letting the light of goodness in so that you will not have to carry around the heavy burden of these emotions. Praying gives you a deep contentment in your heart that you may not get from anything else that you do, because it is meditative and healing in its nature. Heal your heart by letting god into your heart and let him soothe the pain away replacing it with an eternal love that will never cease.
http://www.nashedurrahman.com
page 3 / 3
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