How to Write Script
Content
Teaching Media
Robert Greenberg
How toWrite
a script
the inside story
This article takes students inside the scriptwriter’s head and provides opportunities for critical analysis, developing media literacy skills, writing and media production.
T
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iSSUe 41 SCReeN eDUCATION
he entire unit can be photocopied and distributed to students, read and discussed. The article is based on the Australian Children’s Television Foundation’s (ACTF) TV series Noah & Saskia for the Middle Years. To find out more details about Noah & Saskia explore the ABC’s Noah & Saskia website at http://abc. net.au/noahandsaskia I have chosen Noah & Saskia to explore the process of scriptwriting because of its complexity and its appeal to children aged 10–17. The series was broadcast on ABC TV in 2004 and on the BBC in 2005. Noah & Saskia is a recommended text for english in NSW, Queensland, Victoria and Tasmania. It’s the story of two teenagers who change each other’s lives, from opposite sides of
the world. By representing their ideal selves in a virtual world, they get a little closer to reaching their ideals in the real world. Set in both the UK and Australia, much of the action in this cutting-edge series unfolds via the internet. Noah & Saskia is a contemporary drama story set in online chat spaces familiar to many teenagers throughout the world today. Like many films and television programs The craft of the screenwriter for young people, Noah & Saskia is a discussed in this article series that allows viewers to engage with includes: a fantasy world tinged with enough reality to enable them to suspend disbelief and - Scenes providing information simultaneously explore their own thoughts, feelings and identity. The unique virtual setting under- Characterization through dialogue and action pinning Noah & Saskia gives the characters opportunities to express themselves in - economy of dialogue multiple ways. The series reflects the zeal - Storytelling in pictures with which young people embrace online - The use of surprise - What’s going to happen next
communication, using an increasing array of tools including the internet, mobile phones, instant messages, chat rooms, web cams, and MP3 technology to socialize, download music, and create animations, photo albums, movies and other stories in all manner of forms. Noah & Saskia has won an Australian Writers Guild Award (AWGIe) for best children’s script and an ATOM award for Best Children’s TV Series, as well as winning an ATOM for Best Secondary education Resource for the DVD of the series, accompanied by extensive teacher resources on interactive CD-ROM. For the purpose of this article, I will be referring to the shooting script ‘Tomorrow Never Knows’ written by Chris Anastassiades, which can be found on the Noah & Saskia CD-ROM educational Resource. The story of Noah & Saskia involves complex alternating worlds. In the first episode, the character of Saskia is introduced and we find out how she and others view her life as it is and as they would like it to be. We learn that Saskia is upset because some faceless computer geek has stolen her music. She seeks revenge, only to discover that the faceless geek is a funny, charming guy called Max – or is he? high quality children’s drama scripts follow all the precepts of high quality adult drama scripts. So a detailed reading of the script of the first episode of Noah & Saskia will give an insight into the writing skills needed for creating dramatic moments and characterizing speakers through action and words.
The Layout
A script for a television drama is laid out on the page in a particular way. Broadly speaking, there are four sorts of writing in a script:
The Scene Heading 2. EXT. SCHOOLYARD – DAY
iSSUe 41 SCReeN eDUCATION
every scene starts with a scene heading. The ‘2’ refers to scene number two. eXT. is abbreviation for exterior, meaning it is set outside. INT. is the abbreviation for Interior and would be used for say, the following scene, which takes place inside the school library.
Big Print or Action Two girls, 14, SASKIA and RENEE walk down a
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Teaching Media
Robert Greenberg
someone called Saskia is out to get a reputed, tough character called Max hammer. This first scene, then, is a good example of the scriptwriter’s skill. In a very economical way, just on one-and-a-half pages, which, in the layout presented, is approximately one-and-ahalf minutes of screen time, we’ve established Max hammer, intrigued the audience and kick-started the story. Screenwriting is similar to other forms of storytelling: there has to be a ‘what’s going to happen next’ feel about it, and the ending or ‘tag’ of scene 1 provides this, in addition to everything else the scene achieves. It raises the question of how the character who said ‘he’s a dead man’ is going to follow through on their threat. All of that in one scene. Give a script a cursory glance and it looks easy. Delve a little deeper and the skill of the writer reveals itself. And one of the skills that reveals itself here is how densely packed with information this scene is. Scenes must be busy. They must do many things, and do them simultaneously. This is the craft of screenwriting.
school corridor. SASKIA is stomping.
These are the words that describe the action that we see. In most cases, it follows on directly from a scene heading and then is used throughout a scene to describe what we see.
Character Name SASKIA
This denotes who is speaking the line of dialogue. It is indented.
Dialogue I want revenge, Renee. Nobody steals my music and gets away with it.
These are the words that a character speaks. They are indented. The first episode of any TV series has to hook the viewer’s interest immediately. In Noah & Saskia the script does this by giving us visuals of ‘flying high over a city’. The camera is swooping. The audience is intrigued. We’re hearing voices but we’re not seeing the speakers. That’s what VO means next to the character’s names – voice-over. And the voices are talking about someone called Max hammer. In one page, the writer skillfully tells us about this character, that he’s ‘A cyber legend. Don’t mess with him’. On page 2 of the script, still with scene 1, the writer does what I call the ‘three beats’.
In scene 2, Saskia says she wants revenge on Max Hammer, because he stole her music.
SASKIA I’m gonna find him and paint my nails with his blood. RENEE You? Do your nails? As if Sas.
This is an example of economical dialogue, a ‘must have’ tool in the screenwriter’s bag of tricks. In one exchange, with a line of dialogue for each, the writer has characterized Saskia and Renee and, simultaneously, told the audience about the relationship between the two characters. Saskia talks tough. her line of dialogue and the use of the word blood says this. The writer also tells us that Renee is Saskia’s friend because of the way Renee’s line of dialogue undercuts Saskia’s tough talking. And Renee’s line of dialogue also tells us that Renee is the kind of girl who does her nails, but Saskia is the kind of girl who never does. The whole relationship is summed up in this deceptively simple exchange. Dialogue in a script has two purposes: it must characterize the speaker and it must create pace in the narrative. This exchange does both. We know more about both Saskia and Renee from their dialogue, and the story is pushed forward because Saskia tells us that she has something very nasty in store for Max hammer.
Kid 2 He’s a hero. Pakistani kid He’s a psycho. Kid 4 He’s dangerous.
They are the three beats of description, presenting an intriguing picture of someone we haven’t met yet, someone called Max hammer. The three beats have the metre of poetry and this is achieved through the repetition of the word ‘he’s’. Then, the writer brings in a simple line that cleverly does many things simultaneously.
Saskia He’s a dead man.
This line of dialogue picks up on the descriptions that have preceded it and the metre of the line brings finality to statement. The line also throws us outward; that is, it makes us wonder who said these words and makes us want to see them in the next scene. And it sets up the premise of this episode. That
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WorkShop: Find the opening paragraphs of
your favourite book and write a one-page script that characterizes the character(s), sets the scene, and provides a kick-start to the story.
A writer must interpret the words that are written in what is called a series bible (a very detailed description of all of the characters, themes and issues) and turn them into dramatic moments in a script that can then be produced to create dynamic moments on a screen. No mean feat. Scene 3, page 6 is an example of this. Renee and Saskia have snuck into the school library to access the internet when clearly they are not allowed to. Renee is worried that they will be caught. And they are. Ms Cascarino, the librarian, catches them. She is shocked to find that it’s Renee. Saskia quickly makes up an excuse, saving herself and her friend Renee.
SASKIA This is a simple story. Girl with phenomenal musical talent seeks internet creep who stole her music and is using it without her permission. I’m the girl, my name is Saskia. Renee is my best friend and Gerald … you don’t want to know. (Beat) OK … Cut to later.
This speech simultaneously characterizes Saskia and tells the audience this is how Saskia is going to talk to them. The final line ‘cut to later’ has an inherent assumption in it. It assumes the audience is visually literate, that the audience understands filmic conventions and will understand the joke if the writer decides to refer to those conventions. exposition is a screenwriting term for telling the audience something it needs to know. At the heart of the term is the word ‘expose’, meaning ‘to reveal’. exposition needs to occur in all scripts. how exposition happens in a script is a reflection upon the talents of the scriptwriter. In the hands of the less-experienced scriptwriter, exposition slows down the storytelling. In the hands of the experienced scriptwriter, exposition is invisible. The audience is unaware that it has been given information it needs because the exposition is disguised. exposition is best delivered hidden inside drama. Scene 6, pages 8 and 9, demonstrates skillful handling of exposition. Saskia has approached Gerald, ‘a cyber lothario’ to help her get into a chat room and confront Max hammer. The script needs to impart some information about chat rooms and how they operate. We need exposition.
SASKIA It’s not her fault Miss. It’s her dad. MS CASCARINO/RENEE Her what?/My what? SASKIA He’s been sucked into this obscure internet cult who believe the one true ruler of the universe is a talking dog that lives in Wisconsin and he’s planning to go there and worship it. But I found this site that proves they’re bogus.
Saskia’s excuse saves the moment for both her and Renee. Not because the teacher believes it, but because (it’s implied in the dialogue) she is confounded by such an implausible excuse.
MS CASCARINO I don’t want to hear it. Just … go.
The series bible tells us that Saskia is ‘impetuous, unafraid of anyone or anything’. The bible also refers to Saskia’s alter ego Indie as ‘the kind of capable independent feisty girl who’d wink at teachers and talk her way out of trouble’. here then, in this exchange on page 6, is the scriptwriter’s craft of interpreting the bible and turning a character trait into a dramatic moment. A script creates its own reality and then sticks to it. That is, the reality of the world that the script takes the audience into must be established and the parameters set. Inextricably linked with this is the style and tone of a script. Is the story set in the real world where things we see on the screen are very close to the world as we know it, as in Paul Goldman’s 2002 feature film Australian Rules? Or is the style and tone something different than the real world as we know it, as in Baz Luhrmann’s 1996 film Romeo + Juliet? (Where the opening images of a newsreader delivering Shakesperian iambic pentameter from a TV screen establishes the reality of the world we are about to enter.) The end of scene 4, on page 7 of the Noah & Saskia, script sees the scriptwriter clearly establish the rules of the series.
GERALD (cont’d) ‘K, we’re in. Now, you haven’t picked an avatar, so you’ll look weird compared to the others. RENEE Avatar? SASKIA It’s you in chat. You make yourself. RENEE You make yourself? GERALD You can search for Max Hammer using – SASKIA dumps him out of the chair and takes his place.
In the above sequence, the exposition is limited to the very basic information the audience needs. Nothing more. That inside a chat room, people look different. They have avatars. The rest of the information we see in scene 6B, when Saskia enters the world of chat. And this follows a basic rule of screenwriting: ‘don’t say it, show it’. In addition to limiting the amount of exposition in this scene,
iSSUe 41 SCReeN eDUCATION
The room goes dark. A spotlight hits Saskia. She speaks directly to camera.
87
Teaching Media
Robert Greenberg
WorkShop: read the first few pages of a book you know well. discuss with a partner how much of the narrative depends on description and how much on dialogue. how would the description in the book be translated to screen?
Scripts must continue to build upon scenes that have come before them and add new information. The screenwriter does this in scene 13 on page 17.
the writer does two other things. Firstly, just as the audience may think that it’s going to get a lesson on avatars and the world of chat, the writer surprises us. Saskia pushes Gerald out of his chair. Writing for the screen is about keeping the audience surprised with what is going to happen next. ‘I didn’t expect that’ is the reaction the screenwriter is looking for. As well, Saskia’s action in pushing Gerald out of the chair is a good example of another screenwriting axiom: ‘character is action’. What this means is that what tells us most about a character is what they do. So a screenwriter is always looking for an action that sums up a character. Saskia pushing Gerald out of the chair is a dramatic execution of something the series bible tells us about Saskia: that she is impetuous. Max hammer’s character is very quickly established in a similar way, with action, at the end of scene 6 on pages 11 and 12.
SASKIA turns to camera. SASKIA Ok, so I have a smidge of performance anxiety. There was no reason you had to see that.
Saskia is a referring to the previous scene, where she is busking and ‘a little kid on roller blades steals the hat the money was in.’ This scene builds upon the style of the series that the scriptwriter has established. Previously, when Saskia has spoken to camera (at the end of the scene 4 and at the end of scene 7) she has given the audience the impression that she is in control of what she shows. The above sequence shows she’s not in control. And, because she is not in total control of what the audience sees about her – so they can see embarrassing things as well – it actually characterizes Saskia. Saskia is the character who is not in control of her life, who chooses to become who she wants to be – by becoming Indie, the girl in control, the girl in the chat room.
MAX HAMMER Reality is what you make it. Out to SASKIA who bends to type, but before she can … MAX HAMMER Two, this reality is mine. And ‘pfft’, she is ejected from the chat room. Webweave disappears and we are at the login page. Silence.
This sequence in the script exhibits the surprise element referred to earlier. The ‘silence’ at the end of the scene provides a full stop to the surprising action that Saskia is kicked out of chat before she gets a chance to say very much. In addition, this sequence also establishes the series premise and characterizes Max hammer through action. Again, it does these things simultaneously. The series premise is encapsulated in Max’s dialogue, ‘reality is what you make it’ and ‘this reality is mine’. Max hammer certainly lives up to his reputation of being a tough guy in his decisive action of kicking Saskia out of the chat room. Character is action. Saskia’s speech at the beginning of scene 10 on page 15 is an example of the screenwriter saying to the audience, ‘we understand each other, we understand filmic conventions’.
WorkShop: What is the book equivalent of speaking to camera? discuss other TV programs where characters speak to camera. What effect does this produce and when is it most used?
Screenwriting is about telling a story in pictures. And one tool in the screenwriter’s toolbox is what I call the family photo scene. We see it often in films and television, and we see it often during the opening credits of a film. The camera pans across a mantelpiece full of photos. In an adult drama, it might show a young man and a young woman at high school together, the next photo is the man and the woman, a little older, on their wedding day, then a photo of the two of them proudly standing out the front of a new house with a ‘For Sale’ sign and a ‘Sold’ sticker across the sign. Then there might be another picture of the man and the pregnant woman, holding a baby. In this way, the screenwriter tells the audience the story of the people we are about to meet in the film. Scene 15 uses this convention as Saskia takes the audience into her home and we see pictures of Saskia’s mother, with a commentary from Saskia. On page 19, the screenwriter builds upon this filmic convention as Saskia takes us through ‘my mother’s expectations for me when I was born …’ and shows us:
TIGHT on SASKIA in her street. SASKIA Figured you didn’t want to see the rest of the walk home. This is my street …
The first line of Saskia’s speech makes a reference to the writing of drama: that is, don’t show anything on the screen unless there is drama in it, and unless it serves a purpose for the story. Unless there is some drama to be found in Saskia walking home, there is no need to show it. The scriptwriter, through Saskia, is telling the audience that he knows that. And that he’s aware that they know it too.
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iSSUe 41 SCReeN eDUCATION
Another sequence of photos – ... tennis superstar by 14, Supreme Court judge by 25, Prime Minister by 30, discovering the cure for cancer after a record 12 terms in office during which I’ve wiped third world debt, eradicated sexism and had my father tracked down, stuffed and mounted for my mother’s amusement. BACK to SASKIA. SASKIA (cont’d) Then, I started talking and the expectations got adjusted. CUT TO: A beautifully framed photo of Saskia dressed in chicken shop employee uniform: ‘Employee of the month’.
The screenwriter has built upon the convention by having the photo wall being part of Saskia’s imagination. And then surprising the audience at the end of the scene but snapping us back to reality with a humorously contrasting picture of Saskia. And simultaneously, the end of the scene throws us outwards and
into the next scene. We are intrigued by the photo of Saskia in the chicken shop uniform; we want to know more and there can be no other place for the screenwriter to take us to for an explanation except a chicken shop. Which is exactly where the screenwriter takes us next. In conclusion, the art of the screenwriter is to tell a story in pictures, to create characters through dramatic action, and to do this economically. To order Noah & Saskia and explore the free online lesson plans visit the ACTF’s website www.actf.com.au Robert Greenberg has worked with Chris Anastassiades on a number of children’s television projects including Lift Off, Li’l Elvis Jones and the Truckstoppers and Round the Twist, for which he won an Australian Writers Guild Award (AWGIE) for one of his scripts. All were produced by the Australian Children’s Television Foundation. He was also involved in the development of Noah & Saskia. He is currently script producer on Media World’s twentysix-part BBC/NINE children’s animation series Dogstar. Robert’s children’s book The Greeblies, a series of five grossly compelling stories about bugs, will be published by Penguin in March 2006. Robert is represented by Booked Out speakers’ agency. •
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89
Robert Greenberg
How toWrite
a script
the inside story
This article takes students inside the scriptwriter’s head and provides opportunities for critical analysis, developing media literacy skills, writing and media production.
T
84
iSSUe 41 SCReeN eDUCATION
he entire unit can be photocopied and distributed to students, read and discussed. The article is based on the Australian Children’s Television Foundation’s (ACTF) TV series Noah & Saskia for the Middle Years. To find out more details about Noah & Saskia explore the ABC’s Noah & Saskia website at http://abc. net.au/noahandsaskia I have chosen Noah & Saskia to explore the process of scriptwriting because of its complexity and its appeal to children aged 10–17. The series was broadcast on ABC TV in 2004 and on the BBC in 2005. Noah & Saskia is a recommended text for english in NSW, Queensland, Victoria and Tasmania. It’s the story of two teenagers who change each other’s lives, from opposite sides of
the world. By representing their ideal selves in a virtual world, they get a little closer to reaching their ideals in the real world. Set in both the UK and Australia, much of the action in this cutting-edge series unfolds via the internet. Noah & Saskia is a contemporary drama story set in online chat spaces familiar to many teenagers throughout the world today. Like many films and television programs The craft of the screenwriter for young people, Noah & Saskia is a discussed in this article series that allows viewers to engage with includes: a fantasy world tinged with enough reality to enable them to suspend disbelief and - Scenes providing information simultaneously explore their own thoughts, feelings and identity. The unique virtual setting under- Characterization through dialogue and action pinning Noah & Saskia gives the characters opportunities to express themselves in - economy of dialogue multiple ways. The series reflects the zeal - Storytelling in pictures with which young people embrace online - The use of surprise - What’s going to happen next
communication, using an increasing array of tools including the internet, mobile phones, instant messages, chat rooms, web cams, and MP3 technology to socialize, download music, and create animations, photo albums, movies and other stories in all manner of forms. Noah & Saskia has won an Australian Writers Guild Award (AWGIe) for best children’s script and an ATOM award for Best Children’s TV Series, as well as winning an ATOM for Best Secondary education Resource for the DVD of the series, accompanied by extensive teacher resources on interactive CD-ROM. For the purpose of this article, I will be referring to the shooting script ‘Tomorrow Never Knows’ written by Chris Anastassiades, which can be found on the Noah & Saskia CD-ROM educational Resource. The story of Noah & Saskia involves complex alternating worlds. In the first episode, the character of Saskia is introduced and we find out how she and others view her life as it is and as they would like it to be. We learn that Saskia is upset because some faceless computer geek has stolen her music. She seeks revenge, only to discover that the faceless geek is a funny, charming guy called Max – or is he? high quality children’s drama scripts follow all the precepts of high quality adult drama scripts. So a detailed reading of the script of the first episode of Noah & Saskia will give an insight into the writing skills needed for creating dramatic moments and characterizing speakers through action and words.
The Layout
A script for a television drama is laid out on the page in a particular way. Broadly speaking, there are four sorts of writing in a script:
The Scene Heading 2. EXT. SCHOOLYARD – DAY
iSSUe 41 SCReeN eDUCATION
every scene starts with a scene heading. The ‘2’ refers to scene number two. eXT. is abbreviation for exterior, meaning it is set outside. INT. is the abbreviation for Interior and would be used for say, the following scene, which takes place inside the school library.
Big Print or Action Two girls, 14, SASKIA and RENEE walk down a
85
Teaching Media
Robert Greenberg
someone called Saskia is out to get a reputed, tough character called Max hammer. This first scene, then, is a good example of the scriptwriter’s skill. In a very economical way, just on one-and-a-half pages, which, in the layout presented, is approximately one-and-ahalf minutes of screen time, we’ve established Max hammer, intrigued the audience and kick-started the story. Screenwriting is similar to other forms of storytelling: there has to be a ‘what’s going to happen next’ feel about it, and the ending or ‘tag’ of scene 1 provides this, in addition to everything else the scene achieves. It raises the question of how the character who said ‘he’s a dead man’ is going to follow through on their threat. All of that in one scene. Give a script a cursory glance and it looks easy. Delve a little deeper and the skill of the writer reveals itself. And one of the skills that reveals itself here is how densely packed with information this scene is. Scenes must be busy. They must do many things, and do them simultaneously. This is the craft of screenwriting.
school corridor. SASKIA is stomping.
These are the words that describe the action that we see. In most cases, it follows on directly from a scene heading and then is used throughout a scene to describe what we see.
Character Name SASKIA
This denotes who is speaking the line of dialogue. It is indented.
Dialogue I want revenge, Renee. Nobody steals my music and gets away with it.
These are the words that a character speaks. They are indented. The first episode of any TV series has to hook the viewer’s interest immediately. In Noah & Saskia the script does this by giving us visuals of ‘flying high over a city’. The camera is swooping. The audience is intrigued. We’re hearing voices but we’re not seeing the speakers. That’s what VO means next to the character’s names – voice-over. And the voices are talking about someone called Max hammer. In one page, the writer skillfully tells us about this character, that he’s ‘A cyber legend. Don’t mess with him’. On page 2 of the script, still with scene 1, the writer does what I call the ‘three beats’.
In scene 2, Saskia says she wants revenge on Max Hammer, because he stole her music.
SASKIA I’m gonna find him and paint my nails with his blood. RENEE You? Do your nails? As if Sas.
This is an example of economical dialogue, a ‘must have’ tool in the screenwriter’s bag of tricks. In one exchange, with a line of dialogue for each, the writer has characterized Saskia and Renee and, simultaneously, told the audience about the relationship between the two characters. Saskia talks tough. her line of dialogue and the use of the word blood says this. The writer also tells us that Renee is Saskia’s friend because of the way Renee’s line of dialogue undercuts Saskia’s tough talking. And Renee’s line of dialogue also tells us that Renee is the kind of girl who does her nails, but Saskia is the kind of girl who never does. The whole relationship is summed up in this deceptively simple exchange. Dialogue in a script has two purposes: it must characterize the speaker and it must create pace in the narrative. This exchange does both. We know more about both Saskia and Renee from their dialogue, and the story is pushed forward because Saskia tells us that she has something very nasty in store for Max hammer.
Kid 2 He’s a hero. Pakistani kid He’s a psycho. Kid 4 He’s dangerous.
They are the three beats of description, presenting an intriguing picture of someone we haven’t met yet, someone called Max hammer. The three beats have the metre of poetry and this is achieved through the repetition of the word ‘he’s’. Then, the writer brings in a simple line that cleverly does many things simultaneously.
Saskia He’s a dead man.
This line of dialogue picks up on the descriptions that have preceded it and the metre of the line brings finality to statement. The line also throws us outward; that is, it makes us wonder who said these words and makes us want to see them in the next scene. And it sets up the premise of this episode. That
86
iSSUe 41 SCReeN eDUCATION
WorkShop: Find the opening paragraphs of
your favourite book and write a one-page script that characterizes the character(s), sets the scene, and provides a kick-start to the story.
A writer must interpret the words that are written in what is called a series bible (a very detailed description of all of the characters, themes and issues) and turn them into dramatic moments in a script that can then be produced to create dynamic moments on a screen. No mean feat. Scene 3, page 6 is an example of this. Renee and Saskia have snuck into the school library to access the internet when clearly they are not allowed to. Renee is worried that they will be caught. And they are. Ms Cascarino, the librarian, catches them. She is shocked to find that it’s Renee. Saskia quickly makes up an excuse, saving herself and her friend Renee.
SASKIA This is a simple story. Girl with phenomenal musical talent seeks internet creep who stole her music and is using it without her permission. I’m the girl, my name is Saskia. Renee is my best friend and Gerald … you don’t want to know. (Beat) OK … Cut to later.
This speech simultaneously characterizes Saskia and tells the audience this is how Saskia is going to talk to them. The final line ‘cut to later’ has an inherent assumption in it. It assumes the audience is visually literate, that the audience understands filmic conventions and will understand the joke if the writer decides to refer to those conventions. exposition is a screenwriting term for telling the audience something it needs to know. At the heart of the term is the word ‘expose’, meaning ‘to reveal’. exposition needs to occur in all scripts. how exposition happens in a script is a reflection upon the talents of the scriptwriter. In the hands of the less-experienced scriptwriter, exposition slows down the storytelling. In the hands of the experienced scriptwriter, exposition is invisible. The audience is unaware that it has been given information it needs because the exposition is disguised. exposition is best delivered hidden inside drama. Scene 6, pages 8 and 9, demonstrates skillful handling of exposition. Saskia has approached Gerald, ‘a cyber lothario’ to help her get into a chat room and confront Max hammer. The script needs to impart some information about chat rooms and how they operate. We need exposition.
SASKIA It’s not her fault Miss. It’s her dad. MS CASCARINO/RENEE Her what?/My what? SASKIA He’s been sucked into this obscure internet cult who believe the one true ruler of the universe is a talking dog that lives in Wisconsin and he’s planning to go there and worship it. But I found this site that proves they’re bogus.
Saskia’s excuse saves the moment for both her and Renee. Not because the teacher believes it, but because (it’s implied in the dialogue) she is confounded by such an implausible excuse.
MS CASCARINO I don’t want to hear it. Just … go.
The series bible tells us that Saskia is ‘impetuous, unafraid of anyone or anything’. The bible also refers to Saskia’s alter ego Indie as ‘the kind of capable independent feisty girl who’d wink at teachers and talk her way out of trouble’. here then, in this exchange on page 6, is the scriptwriter’s craft of interpreting the bible and turning a character trait into a dramatic moment. A script creates its own reality and then sticks to it. That is, the reality of the world that the script takes the audience into must be established and the parameters set. Inextricably linked with this is the style and tone of a script. Is the story set in the real world where things we see on the screen are very close to the world as we know it, as in Paul Goldman’s 2002 feature film Australian Rules? Or is the style and tone something different than the real world as we know it, as in Baz Luhrmann’s 1996 film Romeo + Juliet? (Where the opening images of a newsreader delivering Shakesperian iambic pentameter from a TV screen establishes the reality of the world we are about to enter.) The end of scene 4, on page 7 of the Noah & Saskia, script sees the scriptwriter clearly establish the rules of the series.
GERALD (cont’d) ‘K, we’re in. Now, you haven’t picked an avatar, so you’ll look weird compared to the others. RENEE Avatar? SASKIA It’s you in chat. You make yourself. RENEE You make yourself? GERALD You can search for Max Hammer using – SASKIA dumps him out of the chair and takes his place.
In the above sequence, the exposition is limited to the very basic information the audience needs. Nothing more. That inside a chat room, people look different. They have avatars. The rest of the information we see in scene 6B, when Saskia enters the world of chat. And this follows a basic rule of screenwriting: ‘don’t say it, show it’. In addition to limiting the amount of exposition in this scene,
iSSUe 41 SCReeN eDUCATION
The room goes dark. A spotlight hits Saskia. She speaks directly to camera.
87
Teaching Media
Robert Greenberg
WorkShop: read the first few pages of a book you know well. discuss with a partner how much of the narrative depends on description and how much on dialogue. how would the description in the book be translated to screen?
Scripts must continue to build upon scenes that have come before them and add new information. The screenwriter does this in scene 13 on page 17.
the writer does two other things. Firstly, just as the audience may think that it’s going to get a lesson on avatars and the world of chat, the writer surprises us. Saskia pushes Gerald out of his chair. Writing for the screen is about keeping the audience surprised with what is going to happen next. ‘I didn’t expect that’ is the reaction the screenwriter is looking for. As well, Saskia’s action in pushing Gerald out of the chair is a good example of another screenwriting axiom: ‘character is action’. What this means is that what tells us most about a character is what they do. So a screenwriter is always looking for an action that sums up a character. Saskia pushing Gerald out of the chair is a dramatic execution of something the series bible tells us about Saskia: that she is impetuous. Max hammer’s character is very quickly established in a similar way, with action, at the end of scene 6 on pages 11 and 12.
SASKIA turns to camera. SASKIA Ok, so I have a smidge of performance anxiety. There was no reason you had to see that.
Saskia is a referring to the previous scene, where she is busking and ‘a little kid on roller blades steals the hat the money was in.’ This scene builds upon the style of the series that the scriptwriter has established. Previously, when Saskia has spoken to camera (at the end of the scene 4 and at the end of scene 7) she has given the audience the impression that she is in control of what she shows. The above sequence shows she’s not in control. And, because she is not in total control of what the audience sees about her – so they can see embarrassing things as well – it actually characterizes Saskia. Saskia is the character who is not in control of her life, who chooses to become who she wants to be – by becoming Indie, the girl in control, the girl in the chat room.
MAX HAMMER Reality is what you make it. Out to SASKIA who bends to type, but before she can … MAX HAMMER Two, this reality is mine. And ‘pfft’, she is ejected from the chat room. Webweave disappears and we are at the login page. Silence.
This sequence in the script exhibits the surprise element referred to earlier. The ‘silence’ at the end of the scene provides a full stop to the surprising action that Saskia is kicked out of chat before she gets a chance to say very much. In addition, this sequence also establishes the series premise and characterizes Max hammer through action. Again, it does these things simultaneously. The series premise is encapsulated in Max’s dialogue, ‘reality is what you make it’ and ‘this reality is mine’. Max hammer certainly lives up to his reputation of being a tough guy in his decisive action of kicking Saskia out of the chat room. Character is action. Saskia’s speech at the beginning of scene 10 on page 15 is an example of the screenwriter saying to the audience, ‘we understand each other, we understand filmic conventions’.
WorkShop: What is the book equivalent of speaking to camera? discuss other TV programs where characters speak to camera. What effect does this produce and when is it most used?
Screenwriting is about telling a story in pictures. And one tool in the screenwriter’s toolbox is what I call the family photo scene. We see it often in films and television, and we see it often during the opening credits of a film. The camera pans across a mantelpiece full of photos. In an adult drama, it might show a young man and a young woman at high school together, the next photo is the man and the woman, a little older, on their wedding day, then a photo of the two of them proudly standing out the front of a new house with a ‘For Sale’ sign and a ‘Sold’ sticker across the sign. Then there might be another picture of the man and the pregnant woman, holding a baby. In this way, the screenwriter tells the audience the story of the people we are about to meet in the film. Scene 15 uses this convention as Saskia takes the audience into her home and we see pictures of Saskia’s mother, with a commentary from Saskia. On page 19, the screenwriter builds upon this filmic convention as Saskia takes us through ‘my mother’s expectations for me when I was born …’ and shows us:
TIGHT on SASKIA in her street. SASKIA Figured you didn’t want to see the rest of the walk home. This is my street …
The first line of Saskia’s speech makes a reference to the writing of drama: that is, don’t show anything on the screen unless there is drama in it, and unless it serves a purpose for the story. Unless there is some drama to be found in Saskia walking home, there is no need to show it. The scriptwriter, through Saskia, is telling the audience that he knows that. And that he’s aware that they know it too.
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Another sequence of photos – ... tennis superstar by 14, Supreme Court judge by 25, Prime Minister by 30, discovering the cure for cancer after a record 12 terms in office during which I’ve wiped third world debt, eradicated sexism and had my father tracked down, stuffed and mounted for my mother’s amusement. BACK to SASKIA. SASKIA (cont’d) Then, I started talking and the expectations got adjusted. CUT TO: A beautifully framed photo of Saskia dressed in chicken shop employee uniform: ‘Employee of the month’.
The screenwriter has built upon the convention by having the photo wall being part of Saskia’s imagination. And then surprising the audience at the end of the scene but snapping us back to reality with a humorously contrasting picture of Saskia. And simultaneously, the end of the scene throws us outwards and
into the next scene. We are intrigued by the photo of Saskia in the chicken shop uniform; we want to know more and there can be no other place for the screenwriter to take us to for an explanation except a chicken shop. Which is exactly where the screenwriter takes us next. In conclusion, the art of the screenwriter is to tell a story in pictures, to create characters through dramatic action, and to do this economically. To order Noah & Saskia and explore the free online lesson plans visit the ACTF’s website www.actf.com.au Robert Greenberg has worked with Chris Anastassiades on a number of children’s television projects including Lift Off, Li’l Elvis Jones and the Truckstoppers and Round the Twist, for which he won an Australian Writers Guild Award (AWGIE) for one of his scripts. All were produced by the Australian Children’s Television Foundation. He was also involved in the development of Noah & Saskia. He is currently script producer on Media World’s twentysix-part BBC/NINE children’s animation series Dogstar. Robert’s children’s book The Greeblies, a series of five grossly compelling stories about bugs, will be published by Penguin in March 2006. Robert is represented by Booked Out speakers’ agency. •
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