I Will Praise You

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I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139.14 read 1-16 At the age of 20, I was not thinking about babies or having one myself. I was not doing a good job of making the right decisions. Up to this point in my life, most of my decisions were selfish and were the worldly decisions. Despite being brought up in a Christian home, I still got involved with drugs and the wrong crowd. The first good decision that I made in my life was when I asked my father to send me away to get help for drug and alcohol addictions. After 5 months in rehab and a halfway house I came home and became serious with a girl that my sister introduced me to. I was working at a gas station, I did not have a college education, and I just barely had made it through high school. I had previously cared more about drinking and drug use than getting an education. So, while working at the gas station pumping gas, God was trying to get a hold of my life. I was sober from drinking and drugs, but I had not given my life fully back to God yet. I did not want to grow up and be a man. I finally had a big wakeup call around July of 1989, my girlfriend came to me and said she was pregnant. She was shaken up. I was shaken up. This was the last thing that she or I were capable of dealing with. We could not manage our own lives, let alone raise a child. So, she made an appointment to have an abortion. It was one week away and I was convicted by the Holy Spirit to find out what an abortion was. I went to see my old youth Paster, Steve Tourgison, and we talked about our options. He referred me to Gateway Pregnancy center in Elizabeth, New Jersey. I remember it vividly. It was a very hot Tuesday in June when we had an appointment to terminate, which is the politically correct way to say what we were really going to do. What I learned at Gateway is how abortion would kill my daughter and destroy her mom, both physically and emotionally. Dean, the director from Gateway, met with me for about an hour. I learned how they would remove the baby and they did this with no remorse. When we left there that day, I know I would never abort my daughter. I could not wait to call the clinic to cancel the appointment. The next 7 months and beyond were very difficult because of all the wrong decisions I had made in the past. I had no education or skills to fall back on. I had now made the best decision I had made since I asked Jesus into my heart. The partying was over. I was 20-years-old with a baby and it was time to grow up. My daughter taught me what work was. I was motivated to provide a good life for her. I enjoyed being a dad. If I had allowed my girlfriend to have the abortion, I would have missed out on all of the blessings that I have had over the past 22 years.

Many people hope to change their children in positive ways. I am sure that God feels the same. He sure changed me by giving me something that I didn’t think that I could handle. He gave me my beautiful daughter, Macy, and my life had only begun at her birth. God is Great and I am proof that he is. I am a product of His Amazing Grace. There are Thousands of ways he has shown me his Amazing Grace. I spent last week enjoying his wonderful creations while skiing in Aspen, Colorado; My son called me and said he wanted to go to church the one night, what a blessing that he wants to follow Jesus. My oldest daughter, Macy, made the dean’s list her first semester in college. My daughter, Lexus helps her mom with the baby and just the other day at the super market -- she knew what mom needed for the baby. My youngest son Tyler’s heart is so huge when he puts others’ needs before his own. God has given me a wife with a heart for God and she puts God first and she is an amazing wife, mother, and daughter. And these are just a few ways he shows me his grace. I don’t deserve any of this in my life, but He gives it anyway. And I believe, with all my heart, that God took care of me the day I said no to the abortion and YES to life. He gave me that ability to say YES. God has given me life more abundantly. God has restored the years that had been taken away because of my sin.

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