Metro Weekly - 04-17-14 - Ted Allen

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2 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
3 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
4 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
Presidential Praise
Obama ties Lyndon B. Johnson’s civil rights legacy to LGBT Americans in
Texas speech marking Civil Rights Act anniversary
Obama in the Oval Office replica at the LBJ library
by Justin Snow
P
RESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
embraced Lyndon B. Johnson’s
civil rights legacy Thursday, April
10, in a speech that credited the
former president with helping to open the
doors to equality for countless Americans,
including those who are LGBT.
“Because of the Civil Rights move-
ment, because of the laws President
Johnson signed, new doors of opportuni-
ty and education swung open for every-
body – not all at once, but they swung
open,” Obama said. “Not just blacks and
whites, but also women and Latinos; and
Asians and Native Americans; and gay
Americans and Americans with a disabil-
ity. They swung open for you, and they
swung open for me. And that’s why I’m
standing here today – because of those
efforts, because of that legacy.”
Obama’s speech at the Civil Rights
Summit at Johnson’s presidential library
in Austin, Texas, marking the 50th anni-
versary of the signing of the Civil Rights
Act was not the first time the nation’s
first African-American president has tied
the civil rights movement to the LGBT-
rights movement.
“We, the people, declare today that
the most evident of truths – that all of
us are created equal – is the star that
guides us still; just as it guided our fore-
bears through Seneca Falls, and Selma
and Stonewall,” Obama said during his
second inaugural address, repeating a
phrase he used during a Barnard College
commencement speech in May 2012.
When Obama marked the 50th anni-
versary of the March on Washington last
August, he said that those who came to
Washington in 1963 pushed the nation
forward. “Because they marched, Amer-
ica became more free and more fair –
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not just for African Americans, but for
women and Latinos, Asians and Native
Americans; for Catholics, Jews and Mus-
lims; for gays, for Americans with a dis-
ability,” Obama said. “America changed
for you and for me.”
Obama’s own LGBT-rights legacy is
certainly not lost on the president. And,
arguably, nor is the work left to be done.
“I think it’s fair to say that there has
been enormous progress made under this
administration when it comes to LGBT
rights – historic progress. And that’s
something the president wants to con-
tinue and wants to see continue,” White
House press secretary Jay Carney told
reporters aboard Air Force One.
The first sitting American president
to openly endorse same-sex marriage,
Obama has all but ensured that a Demo-
crat will never again be able to run for the
White House without supporting mar-
riage equality. Under his direction, Attor-
ney General Eric Holder, the nation’s first
African-American attorney general, and
the Justice Department ceased defending
the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in
federal court. When the Supreme Court
heard arguments in same-sex marriage
cases for the first time in March 2013,
Obama’s solicitor general, Donald Verrilli,
urged the Supreme Court justices to strike
down DOMA as well as California’s same-
sex marriage ban. The repeal of “Don’t
Ask, Don’t Tell” bears his signature. And
early on Obama endorsed the Employ-
ment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA).
Where Obama has come up short —
in refusing to sign an executive order
protecting LGBT federal contractors
from workplace discrimination — he has
faced heightened criticism, in large part
because of how out of character it is
from his broader civil rights record. That
proposed executive order, which Obama
once supported as a candidate for presi-
dent in 2008, is based on Executive Order
11246, which has been expanded by a
L
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News
Now online at MetroWeekly.com
Poliglot: Marriage moves in Mich., Ohio
News: Equality Md. backs Frosh
5 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
LGBTNews
6
know we cannot be complacent,” Obama
told his Austin audience. “For history
travels not only forwards; history can
travel backwards, history can travel side-
ways. And securing the gains this country
has made requires the vigilance of its
citizens. Our rights, our freedoms – they
are not given. They must be won. They
must be nurtured through struggle and
number of presidents to prohibit federal
contractors from discrimination on the
basis of race, color, religion, sex and
national origin.
In light of the setting for Obama’s
April 10 speech, it is worth noting that
this particular executive order was first
signed by President Johnson.
“[W]e are here today because we
discipline, and persistence and faith.”
Ultimately, Obama said, the nation
moves forward. “However slow, however
incomplete, however harshly challenged
at each point on our journey, however
flawed our leaders, however many times
we have to take a quarter of a loaf or half
a loaf – the story of America is a story of
progress.” l
APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
Groups Rally Against PFZs
Transgender activists, sex-worker advocates gather at Wilson Building to
blast D.C.’s “prostitution-free zones”
by John Riley
A
BOUT 20 COMMUNITY
activists and advocates ral-
lied Friday, April 11, outside
the John A. Wilson Building,
which houses the mayor’s office and
the D.C. Council chambers, to call for
the repeal of “prostitution-free zones”
(PFZs), which opponents say has led to
profiling and harassment of transgender
people, particularly transgender women
of color.
The afternoon rally, organized by the
local service organization HIPS (Help-
ing Individual Prostitutes Survive), was
held with the dual purpose of calling for
a repeal of PFZs, as well as standing in
solidarity with Monica Jones, a trans-
gender woman and sex-worker advocate
in Phoenix, who was arrested for “mani-
festation of prostitution” in a police sting
operation and anti-prostitution diversion
program known as Project ROSE (Reach-
ing Out on Sexual Exploitation) one day
after she spoke at a rally protesting the
program. Jones, who has said she was
not engaging in prostitution at the time of
her arrest, was slated to appear in Phoe-
nix Municipal Court Friday and plead
not guilty to the charges against her.
Simultaneously, demonstrations similar
to the one in D.C. were scheduled to
occur outside the courthouse in Phoenix
and elsewhere.
Outside the Wilson Building, dem-
onstrators, including representatives
from prominent LGBT groups, held signs
calling attention to the Jones case and
offered fliers arguing against programs
such as Project ROSE and D.C.’s PFZs.
“We’re just trying to encourage D.C.
voters to contact their councilmembers
and let them know that they think pros-
titution-free zones are a bad law that
needs to be removed from the books,”
said Emily Hammell, director of develop-
ment at HIPS. “It’s used to profile trans
women of color, and it’s also probably
unconstitutional.”
D.C.’s PFZ provision, introduced nine
years ago, allows the chief of the Met-
ropolitan Police Department (MPD) to
declare a particular area a “prostitution-
free zone,” which then grants police
authority to order groups of two or more
people in a PFZ to disperse. It also low-
ers the bar for probable cause leading
to an arrest. Such zones can be labeled
prostitution-free for any length of time,
at the discretion of the chief of police.
At a January 2012 hearing regarding
a failed bill proposed by Councilmember
Yvette Alexander (D-Ward 7) to make
permanent existing prostitution-free
zones, MPD Assistant Police Chief Peter
J. Newsham testified that the purpose
of PFZs is not to make arrests for pros-
titution, but to act as a tool that MPD
officers can use to disperse people whom
they believe may be trying to engage
in commercial sex work. Following that
hearing, as a result of outcry from critics
and the logistics of enforcing PFZs, MPD
halted its implementation and said it was
working internally to rescind its general
PFZ order.
Both transgender-rights advocates,
who decry what they see as police pro-
filing of transgender women of color,
and sex-worker advocates, who seek to
provide support and assistance to those
who put themselves at risk in the com-
mercial sex trade, oppose PFZs, arguing
that the creation of PFZs doesn’t affect
root causes of prostitution. Rather, they
argue, PFZs push such activity further
underground, increasing the risk of harm
to sex workers.
Furthermore, opponents of PFZs also
note that the provision’s legal foundation
is shaky. During the debate over the bill
to make PFZs permanent, Ariel Levinson-
Waldman, a spokesman for the office
of D.C. Attorney General Irvin Nathan,
testified before the D.C. Council that the
attorney general believes PFZs may be
unconstitutional.
Elizabeth Saracco, director of pro-
grams at HIPS, says repeal advocates are
considering a court challenge if the D.C.
Council fails to take the law off the books.
“Ultimately, we just need to work
together to make a happier, healthier
community for everyone to live in, rather
than attack individuals in the commu-
nity,” says Saracco.
“MPD definitely wants to build a rela-
tionship with transgender individuals in
Washington, D.C.,” she says. “I think they
want the same thing HIPS wants, in a
way: just a happy, healthy community
where people can live peacefully. We’ve
been in talks with them to repeal the
prostitution-free zones, because in nine
years it hasn’t done anything useful. It
hasn’t put an end to prostitution, it hasn’t
bettered people’s lives in any way.”
Councilmember David Grosso (I-At
Large), a critic of PFZs, has co-intro-
duced a bill with Councilmembers Mary
Cheh (D-Ward 3) and David Catania (I-At
Large) to eliminate PFZs. The bill has
since been co-sponsored by Councilmem-
7 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
LGBTNews
8
Whalen said the Task Force found in
its National Transgender Discrimination
Survey that profiling is particularly hard
on transgender women of color, with 41
percent of African-American transgen-
der women and 25 percent of transgen-
der Latinas reporting police harassment,
or being arrested and detained due to
gender-based profiling. Whalen said that
PFZs simply give police “extra leverage”
to profile or harass transgender women
they suspect of engaging in sex work.
“What we need instead of programs
like Project ROSE that ‘save trans women
from themselves,’ is we need programs
developed for and by trans women that
help empower them,” Whalen said. “We
need to support organizations like Casa
Ruby DC; the TransLife Center, of Chica-
go House; or the Sylvia Rivera Law Proj-
ect, that are working directly to empower
trans women of color to take control of
their destiny and their own advancement
in society.”
GLAA members have testified before
the D.C. Council that PFZs do not with-
stand constitutional scrutiny, an argu-
ment also backed by groups such as the
American Civil Liberties Union. On April
3, GLAA sent letters to the five mem-
bers of the Council’s Committee on the
Judiciary and Public Safety, as well as to
Council Chairman Phil Mendelson (D)
and Grosso, outlining the constitutional
concerns with PFZs.
“Even though the Council is a leg-
islature, and you would think legisla-
tors would be eager to legislate, there’s
often a hesitance to act unless there’s
no other alternative,” GLAA President
Richard Rosendall said of the Council’s
inaction. “In this case, we and our allies,
including the ACLU, made the case dur-
ing the hearing on Yvette Alexander’s
permanent PFZ bill in 2012, we made
the case that it was unconstitutional, it
didn’t work, and caused a lot more prob-
lems than it solved. And then police offi-
cials indicated that they would stop using
them, apparently until this got resolved.
But then there was an admission that
they weren’t using the PFZs to make
arrests, but just to make people move on.
One of the reasons they weren’t doing
arrests was it wouldn’t hold up in court.”
Rosendall said profiling within PFZs
happens “routinely and egregiously” to
transgender women of color, even when
they are not engaging in prostitution. He
added that non-transgender people need
to speak out in favor of repealing PFZs,
rather than dismiss the issue because it
bers Tommy Wells (D-Ward 6), the chair
of the Judiciary and Public Safety Com-
mittee that the bill must pass to receive
a vote by the full Council, and Marion
Barry (D-Ward 8).
“I think it was a bad idea to start
with,” Grosso said at the Friday rally,
regarding the creation of PFZs. “I think
people recognize now that it’s an easy
way to violate someone’s human rights,
and it’s time to get rid of them and get
them off the books.”
Grosso told Metro Weekly he believes
he’ll get the seven votes necessary to
repeal PFZs, noting that as more is
learned about the practice, some coun-
cilmembers, even those who support-
ed making the zones permanent, have
changed their minds.
“When I came into office, I said that I
was going to have a human-rights frame-
work to establish all my policies with,
and this is one more opportunity for me
to do that,” Grosso said. “In fact, I think
all of my colleagues are catching on to
that now, recognizing that we can’t leg-
islate without recognizing that people
are affected by the laws that we create in
ways that sometimes discriminate.”
Grosso added that he expected some
residents in certain areas of the city to
oppose the repeal, but insisted it was the
right thing to do.
“I’ve been in neighborhoods we’re
they’ve touted these as something that’s
effective and useful, and they’re just
wrong,” he said. “And, so, what you do,
as a leader in this city, in my opinion, is
you stand up and you say to the com-
munity, ‘Hey, this is not working right,
it’s really discriminatory, and they need
to be repealed.’ So there are going to be
some neighborhoods who push back, but,
in the end, it’s our job to say to them that
they’re not right.”
Kayley Whalen, the National Gay and
Lesbian Task Force’s executive office
board liaison, also attended the rally, as
did representatives from the National
Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE)
and the Gay and Lesbian Activists Alli-
ance (GLAA), a local nonpartisan LGBT
political advocacy group.
“I came here today because I believe
that trans women of color should feel
safe walking down the streets of their
neighborhoods, both in D.C. and in Phoe-
nix, Arizona, where Monica Jones was
arrested,” Whalen said. “I firmly believe
that we need to stand up against police
profiling and harassment and criminal-
ization of trans women for sex work.”
doesn’t directly affect them.
“Those of us who don’t fit the profile
need to step up for our trans sisters, and
the Council needs to get this passed,”
Rosendall said. “It’s unconstitutional,
and it’s not solving any problem. I think
our legislators have a responsibility to at
least do no harm. In this case, the laws
against prostitution are used to target
a particular population, many of whom
have been driven into sex work because
of discrimination. Adding an arrest to
their record solves nothing and only
increases the burden on them, creating a
vicious cycle.”
Rosendall urged the Council to act this
year. Mayor Vincent Gray, who is sup-
portive of repealing PFZs, was recently
defeated in his re-election bid, fueling a
sense of urgency.
Of the 13 members of the D.C. Coun-
cil, five back the bill to repeal PFZs. Find-
ing two more votes may be a challenge, as
many of the remaining councilmembers
have appeared supportive or sympathetic
to keeping PFZs in place.
The 2012 permanent PFZ bill was
co-introduced by Alexander, Barry, for-
mer Councilmember Harry Thomas Jr.
(D-Ward 5), former Council Chairman
Kwame Brown (D), Councilmember Vin-
cent Orange (D-At Large) and Council-
member Muriel Bowser (D-Ward 4), the
Democratic nominee and presumptive
favorite to become the District’s next
mayor. It was co-sponsored by Council-
members Jack Evans (D-Ward 2) and
Catania, although Catania later withdrew
his support of the measure.
Council Chairman Phil Mendelson
(D) helped defeat the 2012 bill in com-
mittee, largely over constitutional con-
cerns, but told The Washington Post in
2012 that he thought PFZs were useful
in disrupting the sex trade. Councilmem-
ber Jim Graham’s position on repealing
PFZs is unknown, although Graham did
introduce a bill in 2009 aimed at creating
“no loitering zones,” similar to PFZs, and
“drug-free zones.” Graham later with-
drew the bill.
Councilmember Kenyan McDuffie
(D-Ward 5) expressed concerns about
profiling and the constitutionality of per-
manent PFZs during his 2012 special-
election victory, saying that if the District
is going to establish PFZs, they need
to be able to withstand potential court
challenges. Councilmember Anita Bonds
(D-At Large) had not yet been elected to
the Council at the time the permanent
PFZ bill was considered. l
APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
9 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
10 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
SATURDAY, APRIL 19
Team DC holds SPRING CASINO NIGHT
fundraiser. 8 p.m.-midnight. No cover. Buffalo
Billiards, 1330 19th St. NW. teamdc.org.
BURGUNDY CRESCENT gay volunteer
organization helps at Lost Dog & Cat Rescue
Foundation, Falls Church PetSmart; and at Team
DC Spring Casino Night. burgundycrescent.org.
DC Public Library offers A TRIBUTE TO ESSEX
HEMPHILL with Regie Cabico, Philip Clark
and Michelle Parkerson. 2 p.m. Mount Pleasant
Neighborhood Library, 3160 16th St. NW. 202-671-
3121, [email protected].
WEEKLY EVENTS
ANDROMEDA TRANSCULTURAL HEALTH
offers free HIV testing, 9-5 p.m., and HIV
services (by appointment). 202-291-4707 or
andromedatransculturalhealth.org.
BET MISHPACHAH, founded by members of the
LGBT community, holds Saturday morning Shabbat
services, 10 a.m., followed by kiddush luncheon.
Services in DCJCC Community Room, 1529 16th St.
NW. betmish.org.
BRAZILIAN GLBT GROUP, including others
interested in Brazilian culture, meets. For location/
time, email [email protected].
DC AQUATICS CLUB (DCAC) practice session at
Marie Reed Aquatic Center, 2200 Champlain St.
NW. 8-9:30 a.m. swimdcac.org.
DC FRONT RUNNERS running/walking/social
club welcomes all levels for exercise in a fun and
supportive environment, socializing afterward.
Meet 9:30 a.m., 23rd & P Streets NW, for a walk; or
10 a.m. for fun run. dcfrontrunners.org.
DIGNITY NORTHERN VIRGINIA sponsors Mass
for LGBT community, family and friends. 6:30 p.m.,
Immanuel Church-on-the-Hill, 3606 Seminary
Road, Alexandria. All welcome. dignitynova.org.
DC SENTINELS basketball team meets at Turkey
Thicket Recreation Center, 1100 Michigan Ave. NE,
2-4 p.m. For players of all levels, gay or straight.
teamdcbasketball.org.
GAY LANGUAGE CLUB discusses critical
languages and foreign languages. 7 p.m. Nellie’s,
900 U St. NW. RVSP preferred. brendandarcy@
gmail.com.
IDENTITY offers free and confidential HIV testing
in Takoma Park, 7676 New Hampshire Ave., Suite
411. Walk-ins 12-3 p.m. For appointments other
hours, call 301-422-2398.
SUNDAY, APRIL 20
WEEKLY EVENTS
DC AQUATICS CLUB (DCAC) practice session at
Takoma Aquatic Center, 300 Van Buren St. NW.
9-10:30 a.m. swimdcac.org.
FRIDAY, APRIL 18
WEEKLY EVENTS
METROHEALTH CENTER offers free, rapid HIV
testing. Appointment needed. 1012 14th St. NW,
Suite 700. 202-638-0750.
ANDROMEDA TRANSCULTURAL HEALTH
offers free HIV testing, 9-5 p.m., and HIV
services (by appointment). 202-291-4707,
andromedatransculturalhealth.org.
BET MISHPACHAH, founded by members of the
GLBT community, holds Friday night Shabbat
services followed by “oneg” social hour. 8-9:30 p.m.
Services in DCJCC Community Room, 1529 16th St.
NW. betmish.org.
GAY DISTRICT holds facilitated discussion for
GBTQ men, 18-35, first and third Fridays. 8:30 p.m.
The DC Center, 1318 U St. NW. 202-682-2245,
gaydistrict.org.
GAY MARRIED MEN’S ASSOCIATION (GAMMA)
is a peer-support group that meets in Dupont Circle
every second and fourth Friday at 7:30 p.m. gay-
married.com or [email protected].
HIV TESTING at Whitman-Walker Health,
Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center, 1701 14th St. NW,
9 a.m.-5 p.m. 202-745-7000, whitman-walker.org.
PROJECT STRIPES hosts LGBT-affirming social
group for ages 11-24. 4-6 p.m. 1419 Columbia Road
NW. Tamara, 202-319-0422, layc-dc.org.
SMYAL’S REC NIGHT provides a social
atmosphere for GLBT and questioning youth,
featuring dance parties, vogue nights, movies and
games. [email protected].
SMYAL offers free HIV Testing, 3-6 p.m., by
appointment and walk-in, for youth 21 and younger.
Youth Center, 410 7th St. SE. 202-567-3155,
[email protected].
THURSDAY, APRIL 17
WEEKLY EVENTS
METROHEALTH CENTER offers free, rapid HIV
testing. Appointment needed. 1012 14th St. NW,
Suite 700. 202-638-0750.
ANDROMEDA TRANSCULTURAL HEALTH
offers free HIV testing, 9-5 p.m., and HIV services
(by appointment). Call 202-291-4707, or visit
andromedatransculturalhealth.org.
DC AQUATICS CLUB (DCAC) practice session
at the Takoma Aquatic Center, 7:30-9 p.m. Visit
swimdcac.org.
DC LAMBDA SQUARES gay and lesbian square-
dancing group features mainstream through
advanced square dancing at the National City
Christian Church, 5 Thomas Circle NW, 7-9:30 p.m.
Casual dress. 301-257-0517, dclambdasquares.org.
The DULLES TRIANGLES Northern Virginia social
group meets for happy hour at Sheraton in Reston,
11810 Sunrise Valley Drive, second-floor bar, 7-9
p.m. All welcome. dullestriangles.com.
HIV TESTING at Whitman-Walker Health. The
Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center, 1701 14th St. NW,
9 a.m.-5 p.m. At the Max Robinson Center, 2301
MLK Jr. Ave. SE, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Call 202-745-
7000. Visit whitman-walker.org.
IDENTITY offers free and confidential HIV testing
in Gaithersburg, 414 East Diamond Ave., and in
Takoma Park, 7676 New Hampshire Ave., Suite 411.
Walk-ins 2-6 p.m. For appointments other hours,
call Gaithersburg, 301-300-9978, or Takoma Park,
301-422-2398.
SMYAL offers free HIV Testing, 3-5 p.m., by
appointment and walk-in, for youth 21 and younger.
202-567-3155 or [email protected].
WOMEN’S LEADERSHIP INSTITUTE for young
LBTQ women, 13-21, interested in leadership
development. 5-6:30 p.m. SMYAL Youth Center,
410 7th St. SE. 202-567-3163,
[email protected].
US HELPING US hosts a Narcotics Anonymous
Meeting, 6:30-7:30 p.m., 3636 Georgia Ave. NW.
The group is independent of UHU. 202-446-1100.
Metro Weekly’s Community Calendar highlights important events in
the D.C.-area LGBT community, from alternative social events to
volunteer opportunities. Event information should be sent by email to
[email protected]. Deadline for inclusion is noon
of the Friday before Thursday’s publication. Questions about
the calendar may be directed to the Metro Weekly office at
202-638-6830 or the calendar email address.
LGBTCommunityCalendar
marketplace
11 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
UNITARIAN CHURCH OF ARLINGTON, an
LGBTQ welcoming-and-affirming congregation,
offers services at 10 a.m. Virginia Rainbow UU
Ministry. 4444 Arlington Blvd. uucava.org.
UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CHURCH OF
SILVER SPRING invites LGBTQ families and
individuals of all creeds and cultures to join the
church. Services 9:15 and 11:15 a.m. 10309 New
Hampshire Ave. uucss.org.
UNIVERSALIST NATIONAL MEMORIAL
CHURCH, a welcoming and inclusive church. GLBT
Interweave social/service group meets monthly.
Services at 11 a.m., Romanesque sanctuary. 1810 16th
St. NW. 202-387-3411, universalist.org.
MONDAY, APRIL 21
WEEKLY EVENTS
DC SCANDALS RUGBY holds practice, 6:30-
8:30 p.m. Garrison Elementary, 1200 S St. NW.
dcscandals.wordpress.com.
NOVASALUD offers free HIV testing. 5-7 p.m. 2049
N. 15th St., Suite 200, Arlington. Appointments:
703-789-4467.
METROHEALTH CENTER offers free, rapid HIV
testing. No appointment needed. 11 a.m.-7 p.m. 1012
14th St. NW, Suite 700. 202-638-0750.
The DC Center hosts COFFEE DROP-IN FOR THE
SENIOR LGBT COMMUNITY. 10 a.m.-noon. 2000
14th St. NW. 202-682-2245, thedccenter.org.
Michael Brazell teaches BEARS DO YOGA, a
program of The DC Center. 6:30 p.m., Green
Lantern, 1335 Green Court NW. No cost,
newcomers welcome. 202-682-2245,
thedccenter.org.
GETEQUAL meets 6:30-8 p.m. at Quaker House,
2111 Florida Ave. NW. [email protected].
KARING WITH INDIVIDUALITY (K.I.) SERVICES,
3333 Duke St., Alexandria, offers free “rapid” HIV
testing and counseling, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 703-823-4401.
SMYAL offers free HIV Testing, 3-5 p.m., by
appointment and walk-in, for youth 21 and younger.
Youth Center, 410 7th St. SE. 202-567-3155 or
[email protected].
US HELPING US hosts a black gay men’s evening
affinity group. 3636 Georgia Ave. NW.
202-446-1100.
WASHINGTON WETSKINS Water Polo Team
practices 7-9 p.m. Takoma Aquatic Center, 300
Van Buren St. NW. Newcomers with at least basic
swimming ability always welcome. Tom, 703-299-
0504, [email protected], wetskins.org.
Whitman-Walker Health HIV/AIDS SUPPORT
GROUP for newly diagnosed individuals, meets
7 p.m. Registration required. 202-939-7671,
[email protected].
HIV TESTING at Whitman-Walker Health. D.C.:
Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center, 1701 14th St.
NW, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. At the Max Robinson Center,
LGBT-inclusive ALL SOULS MEMORIAL
EPISCOPAL CHURCH celebrates Low Mass at 8:30
a.m., High Mass at 11 a.m. 2300 Cathedral Ave. NW.
202-232-4244, allsoulsdc.org.
BETHEL CHURCH-DC progressive and radically
inclusive church holds services at 11:30 a.m. 2217
Minnesota Ave. SE. 202-248-1895, betheldc.org.
DIGNITY WASHINGTON offers Roman Catholic
Mass for the LGBT community. 6 p.m., St.
Margaret’s Church, 1820 Connecticut Ave. NW. All
welcome. Sign interpreted. dignitynova.org.
FIRST CONGREGATIONAL UNITED CHURCH OF
CHRIST welcomes all to 10:30 a.m. service, 945 G
St. NW. firstuccdc.org or 202-628-4317.
FRIENDS MEETING OF WASHINGTON meets for
worship, 10:30 a.m., 2111 Florida Ave. NW, Quaker
House Living Room (next to Meeting House on
Decatur Place), 2nd floor. Special welcome to
lesbians and gays. Handicapped accessible from
Phelps Place gate. Hearing assistance.
quakersdc.org.
HOPE UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST welcomes
GLBT community for worship. 10:30 a.m., 6130 Old
Telegraph Road, Alexandria. hopeucc.org.
INSTITUTE FOR SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT,
God-centered new age church & learning center.
Sunday Services and Workshops event. 5419 Sherier
Place NW. isd-dc.org.
Join LINCOLN CONGREGATIONAL TEMPLE –
UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST for an inclusive,
loving and progressive faith community every
Sunday. 11 a.m. 1701 11th Street NW, near R in
Shaw/Logan neighborhood. lincolntemple.org.
LUTHERAN CHURCH OF REFORMATION invites
all to Sunday worship at 8:30 or 11 a.m. Childcare is
available at both services. Welcoming LGBT people
for 25 years. 212 East Capitol St. NE.
reformationdc.org
METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH OF
NORTHERN VIRGINIA services at 11 a.m., led by
Rev. Onetta Brooks. Children’s Sunday School, 11
a.m. 10383 Democracy Lane, Fairfax. 703-691-0930,
mccnova.com.
METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH OF
WASHINGTON, D.C. services at 9 a.m. (ASL
interpreted) and 11 a.m. Children’s Sunday School at
11 a.m. 474 Ridge St. NW. 202-638-7373,
mccdc.com.
NATIONAL CITY CHRISTIAN CHURCH, inclusive
church with GLBT fellowship, offers gospel
worship, 8:30 a.m., and traditional worship, 11 a.m. 5
Thomas Circle NW. 202-232-0323,
nationalcitycc.org.
RIVERSIDE BAPTIST CHURCH, a Christ-centered,
interracial, welcoming-and-affirming church, offers
service at 10 a.m. 680 I St. SW. 202-554-4330,
riverside-dc.org.
ST. STEPHEN AND THE INCARNATION, an
“interracial, multi-ethnic Christian Community”
offers services in English, 8 a.m. and 10:30 a.m., and
in Spanish at 5:15 p.m. 1525 Newton St. NW. 202-
232-0900, saintstephensdc.org.
12
LGBTCommunityCalendar
APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
marketplace
13 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
SMYAL offers free HIV Testing, 3-5 p.m., by
appointment and walk-in, for youth 21 and younger.
Youth Center, 410 7th St. SE. 202-567-3155,
[email protected].
SUPPORT GROUP FOR LGBTQ YOUTH ages 13-21
meets at SMYAL, 410 7th St. SE, 5-6:30 p.m. Cathy
Chu, 202-567-3163, [email protected].
METROHEALTH CENTER offers free, rapid HIV
testing. Appointment needed. 1012 14th St. NW,
Suite 700. 202-638-0750.
US HELPING US hosts a support group for black
gay men 40 and older. 7-9 p.m., 3636 Georgia Ave.
NW. 202-446-1100.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23
LAMBDA BRIDGE CLUB meets for Duplicate
Bridge. No reservation needed. All welcome. 7:30
p.m. Dignity Center, 721 8th St. SE. For a partner:
703-407-6540.
GALA Theatre holds Living Out Pre-Show
FUNDRAISER FOR CASA RUBY. $12, $20 VIP. 6
p.m. 3333 14th St. NW. 202-355-5155, casaruby.org.
WEEKLY EVENTS
DC SCANDALS RUGBY holds practice, 6:30-
8:30 p.m. Garrison Elementary, 1200 S St. NW.
dcscandals.wordpress.com.
THE GAY MEN’S HEALTH COLLABORATIVE
offers free HIV/STI screening every 2nd and 4th
Tuesday. 5-6:30 p.m. Rainbow Tuesday LGBT
Clinic, Alexandria Health Department, 4480 King
St. 703-321-2511, [email protected].
Whitman-Walker Health’s GAY MEN’S HEALTH
AND WELLNESS/STD CLINIC opens at 6 p.m.,
1701 14th St. NW. Patients are seen on walk-in basis.
No-cost screening for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea and
chlamydia. Hepatitis and herpes testing available
for fee. whitman-walker.org.
HIV TESTING at Whitman-Walker Health. D.C.:
Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center, 1701 14th St.
NW, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. At the Max Robinson Center,
2301 MLK Jr. Ave. SE, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. For an
appointment call 202-745-7000. Visit
whitman-walker.org.
THE HIV WORKING GROUP of THE DC CENTER
hosts “Packing Party,” where volunteers assemble
safe-sex kits of condoms and lube. 7 p.m., Green
Lantern, 1335 Green Court NW. thedccenter.org.
IDENTITY offers free and confidential HIV testing
in Gaithersburg, 414 East Diamond Ave., and in
Takoma Park, 7676 New Hampshire Ave., Suite 411.
Walk-ins 2-6 p.m. For appointments other hours,
call Gaithersburg at 301-300-9978 or Takoma Park
at 301-422-2398.
KARING WITH INDIVIDUALITY (K.I.) SERVICES,
at 3333 Duke St., Alexandria, offers free “rapid” HIV
testing and counseling, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 703-823-4401.
2301 MLK Jr. Ave. SE, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. For an
appointment call 202-745-7000. Visit
whitman-walker.org.
TUESDAY, APRIL 22
WEEKLY EVENTS
A COMPANY OF STRANGERS, a theater chorus,
meets 7:30-9:30 p.m. A GLBTA and SATB looking
for actors, singers, crew. Open Hearth Foundation,
1502 Massachusetts Ave. SE. Charles, 240-764-
5748. ecumenicon.org.
ANDROMEDA TRANSCULTURAL HEALTH
offers free HIV testing, 9-5 p.m., and HIV
services (by appointment). 202-291-4707,
andromedatransculturalhealth.org.
ASIANS AND FRIENDS weekly dinner in Dupont/
Logan Circle area, 6:30 p.m. [email protected],
afwashington.net.
DC AQUATICS CLUB (DCAC) practice session at
Takoma Aquatic Center, 300 Van Buren St. NW.
7:30-9 p.m. swimdcac.org.
DC FRONT RUNNERS running/walking/social
club serving greater D.C.’s LGBT community and
allies hosts an evening run/walk.
dcfrontrunners.org.
14
LGBTCommunityCalendar
APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
NOVASALUD offers free HIV testing. 11 a.m.-
2 p.m. 2049 N. 15th St., Suite 200, Arlington.
Appointments: 703-789-4467.
METROHEALTH CENTER offers free, rapid HIV
testing. No appointment needed. 11 a.m.-7 p.m. 1012
14th St. NW, Suite 700. 202-638-0750.
ANDROMEDA TRANSCULTURAL HEALTH
offers free HIV testing, 9-5 p.m., and HIV
services (by appointment). 202-291-4707,
andromedatransculturalhealth.org.
AD LIB, a group for freestyle conversation, meets
about 7:45 p.m., covered-patio area of Cosi, 1647
20th St. NW. All welcome. Jamie, 703-892-8567.
DC AQUATICS CLUB (DCAC) practice session at
Marie Reed Aquatic Center, 2200 Champlain St.
NW. 8-9:30 p.m. swimdcac.org.
HISTORIC CHRIST CHURCH offers Wednesday
worship 7:15 a.m. and 12:05 p.m. All welcome.
118 N. Washington St., Alexandria. 703-549-1450,
historicchristchurch.org.
IDENTITY offers free and confidential HIV testing
in Gaithersburg, 414 East Diamond Ave. Walk-
ins 2-7 p.m. For appointments other hours, call
Gaithersburg at 301-300-9978.
HIV TESTING at Whitman-Walker Health. D.C.:
Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center, 1701 14th St. NW,
9 a.m.-6 p.m. At the Max Robinson Center, 2301
MLK Jr. Ave. SE, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. 202-745-7000,
whitman-walker.org.
PRIME TIMERS OF DC, social club for mature gay
men, hosts weekly happy hour/dinner. 6:30 p.m.,
Windows Bar above Dupont Italian Kitchen, 1637
17th St. NW. Carl, 703-573-8316.
FRIDAY, APRIL 25
CAGLCC holds annual Awards Dinner and Gala.
6:30-9:30 p.m. Mayflower Renaissance Hotel, 1127
Connecticut Ave. NW. $210. caglcc.org.
SUNDAY, APRIL 27
ADVENTURING outdoors group bikes 33-mile
loop, D.C. and Maryland trails/residential streets.
Bring water, lunch (or buy), $2 fee. Start 10 a.m.,
Columbia Island Marina parking lot, GW Parkway.
Jerry, 703-920-6871. adventuring.org.
MONDAY, APRIL 28
GLCCB hosts community town hall/discussion on
Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP). 7-9 p.m. Waxter
Center, Mason Lord Room, 1000 Cathedral St.,
Baltimore. glccb.org. l
15 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
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APRIL 17, 2014
VOLUME 20 / ISSUE 50
PUBLISHER
Randy Shulman
EDITORIAL
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Randy Shulman
ART DIRECTOR
Todd Franson
MANAGING EDITOR
Will O’Bryan
POLITICAL EDITOR
Justin Snow
STAFF WRITER
John Riley
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Richard Rosendall, Kate Wingfield
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19
ROUGHLY 12
years ago, I was
toiling on the floor
of a pal’s dining
room, construct-
ing a banner. I’d
just begun dat-
ing the man I’d
eventually marry,
and was keep-
ing myself occupied during our first
stretch apart since meeting. He was
off riding his bike to raise money for
Food & Friends, as I slapped together a
“welcome home” banner with which to
greet him on the National Mall.
I’ve never volunteered for Food &
Friends myself, but I’ve certainly married
into the family. Working in LGBT media
in D.C., there’s actually a sort of prohibi-
tion against volunteering for them. I’m
not supposed to get that involved with
organizations I may be reporting on.
And, through the years, I’ve certainly
reported on Food & Friends. I toured the
Northeast facility shortly after it opened
in 2004. I’ve collected recipes from staff
for a feature story. My favorite Food &
Friends story is from 2005, when Coun-
cilmember David Catania (I-At Large)
tapped the organization at a moment’s
notice to deliver 400 hot meals to the
D.C. Armory to feed Hurricane Katrina
evacuees.
Other stories – not mine – relating to
Food & Friends had to do with Pallotta
TeamWorks, which managed the ride
my now-husband was on when I made
his banner. That relationship ended
when Pallotta TeamWorks tanked amid
criticism of its business model. Food
& Friends Executive Director Craig
Shniderman has also taken some flak
for his $350,000-plus salary. While in
my perfect world charities wouldn’t
be necessary as government would
smoothly and efficiently make best use
of taxes to eliminate social ills – and,
yes, I know perfection does not exist – I
don’t have any issue with Shniderman’s
salary. After all, the guy who runs D.C.-
based LivingSocial is reportedly worth
$180 million, according to Complex.
And plenty of starting K Street lobby-
ists seem to fare at least as well. Feed-
ing about 3,000 clients across 5,300
square miles – give or take – I think
Shniderman certainly earns his keep,
whether running around 17th Street in
drag during Dining Out for Life, recruit-
ing his family to help prepare Food &
Friends’ Thanksgiving meals, or just
steadily growing an organization that is
a lifeline to so many in need.
In these years since I made my ban-
ner – which was a big hit, by the way
– I find myself still not a volunteer, but
married into the Food & Friends family.
These days, I recuse myself from writ-
ing news coverage of the organization.
I would recuse myself from attending
the volunteer appreciation dinners, as
I don’t in any way deserve the tasty
buffet, but my husband insists I accom-
pany him. Last Thursday, I was very
glad to be there, though, to watch our
friend Claudia receive her certificate
of recognition for five years of service,
delivering meals far and wide. And I’ll
be at Chef’s Best next month, as this
is my husband’s first year on the host
committee, his last days-long fundrais-
ing ride being a few years ago. From
each according to his ability, as the
communists say.
Till then, there is Dining Out for
Life, and I hope to be there, too. As of
this writing, I don’t yet know where
– whether it will be a 25 percent or
100 percent sponsor, or somewhere in
between – but we’ll certainly be there.
And I will be there with gratitude for
the restaurants that participate, for the
many volunteers who make it all pos-
sible, and to Food & Friends for doing
work that makes the world a far better
place than it would otherwise be.
Will O’Bryan is Metro Weekly’s
managing editor. Email him at
[email protected]. Follow
him on Twitter @wobryan. l
A Thought for Food & Friends
A relationship can give you a new family, whether bound by
blood or benevolence
LGBTOpinion
by Will O’Bryan
METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
20 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
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S
21 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
METRO WEEKLY: You are one of four Dining Out for
Life ambassadors, nationwide. What do you like
most about this event?
TED ALLEN: I really love this event because in a
single day it raises $4 million to fight HIV and
AIDS in cities all across the county, while at the
same time, encouraging people to go out and
spend money in local restaurants, thus helping the
economy, helping my friends who are chefs, hope-
fully helping diners discover something really
delicious, and playing a meaningful part in the
fight against HIV and AIDS. It’s such a win-win-
win, I can’t stop being involved with it.
MW: We’ve been a supporter of it here, for Food &
Friends, for years. One thing we’ve noticed over the
years is that fewer restaurants seem willing to give
at the 100 and 50 percent level. Of course, that’s vol-
untary and any amount is obviously appreciated by
the organization, but why do you think it’s decreased?
ALLEN: I’m not privy to official statistics inside
the organization itself, so this is just me talking.
Whenever anyone’s trying to raise money for
anything, the restaurant community is always the
first place they go, and the restaurant community
always steps up. That having been said, if there
has been a decrease in the percentage that many
restaurants are able or willing to put in, I can only
imagine that it’s because of the economy over the
last five or six years. It’s made life difficult in a
business where the margins are always tight. If
you’re making 10 percent profits in the restaurant
business, you’re doing a great job. Also, I think the
demands on everybody for philanthropy has just
gone through the roof. Since the original Dining
Out for Lifes, lots of other people have started
doing a Dining Out for this and Dining Out for
that. That said, someone who used to give 100 — if
they can still give 50, God bless ’em.
MW: Where do you usually do Dining Out for Life?
ALLEN: The irony is that New York City, being a
place that was basically ground zero for the AIDS
epidemic in the first place, is so well served with
organizations that deliver food to people and raise
money for AIDS and HIV that they don’t actually
do a Dining Out for Life here. I have in the past
gone to Philadelphia to celebrate it. But this year I
will be in a studio on April 24, shooting Chopped,
so I don’t get to go. When I have done it, I try to
do drinks and appetizers at one place and dinner
and dessert at another place to kind of spread it
around a little bit.
MW: Let’s talk about Chopped. Great show. How
long have you been doing it now?
ALLEN: It’s been about five years. We have made
257 episodes. We have not aired all those yet. We
have new ones coming out now, and they will be
coming out for a while.
MW: Watching you on it, you seem to genuinely enjoy it.
ALLEN: I love it. I love all the judges. I have great
friends there. We’re super fortunate that the
show’s been so successful. The only thing about it
that I don’t like is getting up at the crack of hell. I
hate that. And I don’t like being on my feet for 12
The host of Chopped on weird ingredients, the joys of slow
cooking and the importance of Dining Out for Life
T
HIS IS WHAT YOU DON’T WANT.
You don’t want to see your dish displayed as Ted Allen
briskly lifts the silver cover. Because that means, as Allen
brusquely intones, “You’ve been chopped.”
Since January of 2009, Allen has been hosting the popu-
lar Food Network show that pits four chefs (and sometimes
celebrities) against one another in a unique cook-off that features three
courses — an appetizer, entree and dessert — cooked at a breathless pace,
and incorporating four generally very disparate, seemingly incompatible
ingredients. After each course, one of the chefs is eliminated.
The chefs have to contend with absurd mystery ingredient combina-
tions like pickle juice, herb stems, overripe tomatoes, fish carcass for the
appetizer; fenugreek, new potatoes, bison short ribs, cheese spread in a jar
for the entree; and cooked corn cobs, pitcher of sangria, duck sauce, stale
plain doughnuts for the dessert course. What is it they say these days? Oh,
right. Om nom nom.
The people who dream up the ingredient combinations for Chopped are
clearly either full-on sadists or genuinely believe that culinary magic can be
arrived at combining fruit punch with chicken feet. Even Allen admits that
not all the dishes are appetizing. “Sometimes it’s terrible,” he confides. One
of the Food Network’s most enjoyable, enduring competitions, Chopped
owes much of its success to Allen, whose on-screen persona is best quanti-
fied as equal parts warm, remote and unforgivingly stern.
In person, Allen is nothing but warm. A former member of the Queer
Eye for the Straight Guy posse, for which he served as “food and wine
specialist,” and prior to that a journalist who penned culinary articles for
Chicago magazine, Allen still contributes frequently to Esquire magazine,
and was recently handed the hosting keys to yet another Food Network
show, America’s Best Cook, which premiered Sunday, April 13. On it, home
cooks from different regions of the nation are mentored by Food Network
celebrity chefs as they vie for a $50,000 grand prize. That buys a lot of Kraft
Mac & Cheese.
But Allen also has a philanthropic side, and as such serves as an ambas-
sador to Dining Out for Life, helping to promote the nationwide event in
which participating restaurants donate a portion of their day’s receipts to
worthy causes that help to feed the infirm and homebound.
In the case of our city, the beneficiary is Food & Friends, which helps
to keep people living with HIV/AIDS, cancer and other illnesses not only
well-fed, but in healthy nutritional balance. It’s one of our area’s most
enduring, important services, and though it sprung out of the gay com-
munity, it has evolved over the years to reach far beyond its initial bounds,
enveloping all who are in need of its services.
In advance of Dining Out for Life, Metro Weekly talked with Allen about
the event, as well as his time spent on Chopped, where he reveals, among
other things, his favorite “weird” ingredient of all time.
Hint: It comes in a can. And sounds spectacularly unappealing. Om nom
nom, indeed.
Ted
Talks
Food
Interview by Randy Shulman
22 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
hours. But talking about food with these gifted New York City
chefs all day is such a treat for me — it’s a blast.
MW: I’m not generally a huge fan of the food competition shows,
but I like Chopped because of the bizarre combinations of ingredi-
ents you hurl at the chefs.
ALLEN: Lamb testicles and chicken feet.
MW: It’s often remarkable that they can actually make something
good out of the disparate ingredients they’re given.
ALLEN: Sometimes it’s terrible. It’s very difficult to cook anything
good with the ingredients we give them, under those conditions.
MW: Do you personally get to taste everything?
ALLEN: I taste anything that looks really good. Every once in a
while someone really hits it out of the park and the judges always
fix me a little bite. It’s just so impressive when someone can do
that. It’s a very specific skill and it really has very little reflec-
tion on your actual talents as a chef day-to-day. Every chef [in
their own kitchen] gets to pick their own ingredients to a certain
extent and has a chance to try them out and plan and dream and
research. And the ability to make something out of lamb testicles
and chicken feet and Pabst Blue Ribbon in 20 minutes without
cutting off your thumb is a very specific and different talent.
MW: The competitions are shot in real time?
ALLEN: Yes.
MW: That’s incredible. It’s brilliantly photographed and edited.
But, God, what a nightmare it must be to edit.
ALLEN: One episode of Chopped takes 37 days to edit. We have
nine or 10 cameras, each of them coming out of a 12-hour shoot
day. They probably shoot about seven or eight hours of tape
each. All that stuff has to be viewed in the raw, on a single moni-
tor with all nine cameras at once, in different little squares. It’s
unbelievable to me — I can’t believe anybody could do that job.
It sounds so trite to say we’re a close family, but we just
are. We have a great director and a team of camera operators.
They’re all freelancers, but they all come back because they love
to work together and it’s kind of like shooting a basketball game.
It’s fun for them to shoot. Many of the same people have done
the cake competition shows, and those are not fun for them to
shoot because [contestants] have two hours to bake a cake and
there’s no action. It’s just [host] Ron Ben-Israel in the room and
a cake in the oven gradually getting larger.
MW: You’ve had a really interesting career. Obviously you don’t
plan a career like this, but, looking it over, are you happy with the
way it’s turned out and where you’ve ended up?
ALLEN: I couldn’t be more grateful. I loved writing for magazines
and newspapers, too. But I think anybody who gets to work in
a field that they love — in my case talking about and tasting and
thinking about food — that’s a very fortunate person. To get a
chance to work in television and have a show that takes off is
such a rare thing. I’m kind of amazed by it. The only thing about
it that’s kind of difficult is that it’s really hard to plan for the next
act, as every show ends. I have a couple of things in the hopper,
but the ratings for this show are nowhere but great, so I don’t
think it’s ending anytime soon.
It amazes me that as long as we’ve been doing it, it’s still
basically the same game show. I don’t get bored. I think that’s
something to be really grateful for. We always have different
competitors, our judges rotate, we have different personalities,
we have different ingredients, there’s always something new to
learn and talk about. I couldn’t be happier. The network’s great
to me. I’m very fortunate.
MW: You’re well known as a gay man, and you’re hosting this
popular show, but it’s never really brought into focus at all. It’s just
another example of just cultural assimilation. I’m saying that’s a
good thing.
ALLEN: I agree with you. I think that’s something Food Network
deserves some credit for. In fact, the LGBT presence at Food
Network is reflected all the way at the top, starting with our
president, Bob Tuschman, who’s openly gay. There are lots of
gay people in the executive suites and the ranks of the producers.
MW: Was there ever any doubt that you now know of before they
selected you as host?
ALLEN: I’m sure they had their doubts. Whenever you put some-
body in the host position, you wonder if they can carry the show.
And I don’t have to carry the show because the stars of our show
are the competitors. And then I’ve got the judges to lean back on,
as well. I’m sure you would always wonder if this person is going
to work out whether they’re gay or what gender or race or what-
ever it might be. But this was actually the second show Food Net-
work has put me in charge of and they’ve been nothing but great.
No one has ever said, “Hey, stay away from those pride parades!”
MW: What’s your favorite thing to cook at home?
ALLEN: Ironically, when you consider where I work, I’m very
much a slow-food guy. I actually don’t even like to cook things
that are done quickly. I love to braise things. I love to put a roast
in my smoker — like a pork roast — and cook it for eight hours
until it’s just fall-off-the-bone tender. Stir-fry? I’ll eat it once in
a while if I’m in a hurry and because it’s delicious and I like it.
But what really gets me started is slow and low, long-developed
flavor. Long-simmered sauces.
I’ve taken a lot of inspiration from our judges, because I’ve
spent so much time talking to them and I’ve learned a lot — [chef
and Chopped judge] Scott Conant taught me a lot about cooking
pasta and about making polenta. And the secret to polenta is
cooking it for a very long time. Scott cooks his for about three
hours. Very low temperature. It’s just cornmeal, but it becomes
something sexy and silky and sensual. I love stuff like that.
MW: What’s the weirdest ingredient you’ve ever encountered on
Chopped? Where you were like, “I can’t believe they put this into
the mix.”
ALLEN: In a competition that’s seen at least three or four kinds of
testicles, it’s kind of hard to narrow it down to one ingredient.
But I’ll tell you my favorite weird ingredient: a whole chicken in
a can. I don’t know why anybody would want such a thing, but it
does exist. I think they probably can the chicken raw, seal it and
then cook it, because when you open it and plop it out, it comes
slipping out with a bunch of gelatin. It’s hideous — and the skin is
on it and the skin’s all rubbery-looking. It must have been devel-
oped for bomb shelters or something. It’s just such an appalling
ingredient, that’s what I like about it.
MW: I’ve never eaten chicken in a can, nor do I think I want to.
And I’ve never eaten testicles. Hmmm. I probably shouldn’t put
it that way.
ALLEN: [Laughs.] I was going to try to save you, but too late. I did
an interview about an hour ago where I said, “You know it’s not
like I want to eat polish sausage every day of the week, but….” I
really think I should have rephrased that.
New episodes of Chopped air Tuesdays at 10 p.m. on the Food
Network. America’s Best Cook airs Sundays at 9 p.m. Visit food-
network.com.
Dining Out for Life is Thursday, April 24. For more information on
the national event, and to find a city near you, visit diningoutfor-
life.com. For the local D.C. event, benefiting Food & Friends, visit
foodandfriends.org/dol. A complete listing of participating local
restaurants follows. l
23 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
ADAMS MORGAN
18TH & U DUPLEX
DINER
2004 18th St NW
(202)265-7828
DINNER, 25%
American
CASHION’S EAT PLACE
1819 Columbia Rd NW
(202) 797-1819
DINNER, 25%
American
LA FOURCHETTE
2429 18th St. NW
(202) 332-3077
LUNCH & DINNER, 35%
French
L’ENFANT CAFÉ AND
BAR
2000 18th St. NW
(202)319-1800
DINNER, 25%
French
LITTLE FOUNTAIN CAFÉ
2339 18th St. NW
(202)462-8100
DINNER, 35%
American
MINTWOOD PLACE
1813 Columbia Road NW
(202)234-6732
DINNER, 25%
American
NAPOLEON BISTRO
1847 Columbia Rd.
(202) 299-9630
DINNER, 25%
French
PERRY’S
1811 Columbia Road NW
(202)234-6218
DINNER, 25%
American
LIFE
A COMPLETE GUIDE TO
THURSDAY, APRIL 24, 2014
DINING
OUT FOR
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A complete guide to all participating
restaurants as of press time, by
neighborhood, including meals and
what percentage of each bill will be
donated to Food & Friends. This year’s
DINING OUT FOR LIFE takes place on
THURSDAY, APRIL 24TH. Please note
that RESERVATIONS ARE SUGGESTED at
most restaurants. Please call ahead or visit
OpenTable.com. For an up-to-date list of
restaurants visit foodandfriends.org.
BRENTWOOD
SALA THAI RESTAURANT
2300 Washington Place NE
(202) 635-6999
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
Thai
CAPITOL HILL
BANANA CAFÉ &
PIANO BAR
500 8th St SE
(202) 543-5906
DINNER, 25%
Cuban
CAFÉ BERLIN
322 Massachusetts Ave. NE
(202)543-7656
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
German
HANK’S OYSTER BAR
ON THE HILL
633 Pennsylvannia Ave SE
(202) 733-1971
DINNER, 25%
American, Seafood
LAS PLACITAS
RESTAURANT
517 8th St SE
(202) 543-3700
DINNER, 25%
Latin American
NINNELLA RESTAURANT
106 13th St. SE
(202) 543-0184
DINNER, 25%
Italian
THE OLD SIAM
406 8th St. SE
(202) 544-7426
DINNER, 25%
Thai,Sushi
TRATTORIA ALBERTO
506 8th St SE
(202) 544-2007
DINNER, 25%
Italian
WASHINGTON, D.C.
24 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
CHEVY CHASE
ARUCOLA OSTERIA
5534 Connecticut Ave NW
(202) 244-1555
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
Italian
CLEVELAND PARK
CACTUS CANTINA
3300 Wisconsin Ave NW
(202) 686-7222
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
Tex-Mex
COLUMBIA HEIGHTS
THE HEIGHTS
3115 14th St. NW
(202) 797-7227
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
American
DOWNTOWN
GEORGIA BROWN’S
950 15th St NW
(202) 393-4499
DINNER, 25%
American
DUPONT CIRCLE
ANNIE’S PARAMOUNT
STEAKHOUSE
1609 17th St. NW
(202) 232-0395
DINNER, 100%
American
BEACON BAR & GRILL
1615 Rhode Island Ave
NW
(202) 872-1126
DINNER, 25%
American
BISTROT DU COIN
1738 Connecticut Ave NW
(202) 234-6969
LUNCH & DINNER, 50%
French
CAFÉ DUPONT
1500 New Hampshire Ave.
(202)797-0169
DINNER, 25%
French
DARLINGTON HOUSE
1610 20th St. NW
(202) 332-3722
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
American, Italian
DUPONT ITALIAN
KITCHEN
1637 17th St. NW
(202) 328-3222
DINNER, 25%
Italian
FLORIANA
1602 17th St. NW
(202) 667-5937
DINNER, 35%
Italian
GRILLFISH
1200 New Hampshire
Ave NW
(202) 331-7310
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
American, Seafood
HANK’S OYSTER BAR &
LOUNGE
1624 Q St. NW
(202) 462-4265
DINNER, 25%
American, Seafood
JAMES HOBAN’S IRISH
RESTAURANT
1 Dupont Circle, NW
(202) 223-8440
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
Pub
LA TOMATE
1701 Connecticut Ave NW
(202)667-5505
DINNER, 25%
Italian
LAURIOL PLAZA
1835 18th St. NW
(202) 387-0035
DINNER, 25%
Tex-Mex
LEVEL ONE
RESTAURANT
1639 R St. NW
(202) 745-0025
DINNER, 25%
American
M STREET BAR AND
GRILL
2033 M St. NW
(202) 530-3621
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
American
MAI THAI
1200 19th St. NW
(202)452-6870
DINNER, 25%
Thai
MOURAYO
1734 Connecticut Ave NW
(202)667-2100
DINNER, 25%
Greek
PESCE RESTAURANT
2002 P St. NW
(202) 466-3474
DINNER, 35%
Seafood
FOGGY BOTTOM
FOUNDING FARMERS
1924 Pennsylania Ave NW
(202) 822-8783
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
American
TONIC AT QUIGLEY’S
PHARMACY
2036 G St. NW
202-296-0211
DINNER, 25%
American
FRIENDSHIP
HEIGHTS
LE CHAT NOIR
4907 Wisoncsin Ave NW
(202) 244-2044
DINNER, 35%
French
GEORGETOWN
CAFÉ LA RUCHE
1039 31st St. NW
(202) 965-2684
DINNER, 50%
French
DON LOBOS MEXICAN
GRILL
2811 M St NW
(202) 333-0137
DINNER, 25%
Mexican
NEYLA
3206 N St NW
(202) 333-6353
DINNER, 25%
Mediterranean
PEACOCK CAFÉ
3251 Prospect St. NW
(202) 625-2740
DINNER, 35%
American
ATLAS/H STREET
LE GRENIER
502 H St. NE
(202) 544-4999
DINNER, 25%
French
LOGAN CIRCLE
COMMISSARY
1443 P St. NW
(202) 299-0018
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
American
LE DIPLOMATE
1601 14th St. NW
(202) 332-3333
DINNER, 25%
French
LOGAN TAVERN
1423 P St. NW
(202) 332-3710
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
American
NAGE RESTAURANT
1608 Rhode Island Ave
NW
(202) 448-8005
DINNER, 25%
American, Seafood
PEARL DIVE OYSTER
PALACE
1612 14th St. NW
(202) 319-1612
DINNER, 50%
American
POSTO
1515 14th St NW
(202) 332-8613
DINNER, 50%
Italian
THE PIG
1320 14th St. NW
(202) 290-2821
DINNER, 25%
American
VERANDA
1100 P St. NW
(202) 234-6870
DINNER, 25%
Mediterranean
MT. VERNON
TRIANGLE
BUSBOYS AND POETS
1025 5th St. NW
(202) 789-2227
DINNER, 35%
American
SIXTH ENGINE
438 Massachusetts Ave
NW
(202) 506-2455
DINNER, 25%
American
THE PALISADES
BLACKSALT
FISH MARKET &
RESTAURANT
4883 MacArthur Blvd. NW
(202) 342-9101
DINNER, 25%
Seafood
PENN QUARTER
ASIA NINE BAR AND
LOUNGE
915 E St. NW
(202) 629-6355
DINNER, 25%
Asian
POSTE MODERNE
BRASSERIE
555 8th St. NW
(202) 783-6060
DINNER, 25%
American, French
TOSCA
1112 F Street, NW
(202)367-1990
DINNER, 100%
Italian
PETWORTH
SALA THAI
RESTAURANT
3716 Georgia Ave NW
(202) 629-1643
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
Thai
SHAW
1905
1905 9th St NW
(202) 332-1905
DINNER, 25%
Ethiopian
DINO’S GROTTO
1914 9th St. NW
(202) 686-2966
DINNER, 25%
Italian
SHAW’S TAVERN
520 Florida Ave NW
(202) 518-4092
DINNER, 50%
American
THALLY
1316 9th St NW
(202) 733-3849
DINNER, 25%
American
U STREET
BUSBOYS AND POETS
2021 14th St Nw
(202) 387-7638
DINNER, 35%
American
CAFÉ SAINT-EX
1847 14th St NW
(202)265-7839
DINNER, 25%
French
EATONVILLE
2121 14th St. NW
(202) 332-9672
DINNER, 35%
American
JOJO’S RESTAURANT
1518 U St. NW
(202) 319-9350
DINNER, 25%
American
MARVIN
2007 14th St. NW
(202) 797-7171
DINNER, 35%
American
SALA THAI
RESTAURANT
1301 U St. NW
(202) 462-1333
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
Thai, Sushi
WOODLEY PARK
NEW HEIGHTS
RESTAURANT
2317 Calvert St. NW
(202)234-4110
DINNER, 25%
American
MARYLAND
BETHESDA
BLACK’S BAR &
KITCHEN
7750 Woodmont Ave.
(301) 652-5525
DINNER, 25%
American, Seafood
FREDDY’S LOBSTER
AND CLAMS
4867 Cordell Ave.
(240)743-4257
DINNER, 25%
Seafood
HARD TIMES CAFÉ
4922 Del Ray Ave
(301) 951-3300
DINNER, 25%
American
GUAPO’S RESTAURANT
8130 Wisonsin Ave
(301) 656-0888
DINNER, 25%
Tex-Mex
SALA THAI
RESTAURANT
4828 Cordell Ave
(301) 654-4676
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
Thai
25 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
TRATTORIA SERRENTO
4930 Cordell Ave
(301) 718-0344
DINNER, 25%
Italian
GARRETT PARK
BLACK MARKET
BISTRO
4600 Waverly Ave.
(301) 933-3000
DINNER, 25%
American
HYATTSVILLE
BUSBOYS AND POETS
5331 Baltimore Ave
(301) 779-2787
DINNER, 35%
American
POTOMAC
AMICI MIEI
RISTORANTE
1093 Seven Looks Rd.
(301) 545-0966
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
Italian
ROCKVILLE
IL PIZZICO
15209 Frederick Rd.
(301) 309-0610
DINNER, 35%
Italian
MOSAIC CUISINE AND
CAFÉ
186 Halpine Rd.
(301) 468-0682
DINNER, 25%
French
SILVER SPRING
8407 KITCHEN BAR
8407 Ramsey Ave.
(301)587-8407
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
American
CUBANO’S
1201 Fidler Ln.
(301) 563-4020
DINNER, 35%
Cuban
PETES’S NEW HAVEN
STYLE APIZZA
962 Wayne Ave
(301)588-7383
DINNER, 25%
Pizza
TAKOMA PARK
MARK’S KITCHEN
7006 Carroll Ave.
(301) 270-1884
LUNCH & DINNER, 25%
American
REPUBLIC
6939 Laurel Ave.
(301) 270-3000
DINNER, 25%
Seafood
ALEXANDRIA
CHADWICKS
203 The Strand
(703)836-4442
DINNER, 25%
American
ANNANDALE
FOXFIRE
6550 Little River TPK
(703) 914-9280
DINNER, 25%
American
ARLINGTON
LA COTE D’OR CAFÉ
6876 Lee Highway
(703) 538-3033
DINNER, 25%
French
CLARENDON
DELHI CLUB
1135 N. Highland St.
(703) 527-5666
LUNCH & DINNER, 35%
Indian
PETES’S NEW HAVEN
STYLE APIZZA
3017 Clarendon Blvd.
(703)527-7383
DINNER, 25%
Pizza
CRYSTAL CITY
FREDDIE’S BEACH BAR
& RESTAURANT
555 23rd St S.
(703) 685-0555
DINNER, 100%
American
FALLS CHURCH
CLARE AND DON’S
BEACH SHACK
130 N. Washington St.
(703) 532-9283
LUNCH & DINNER, 35%
Seafood, Vegetarian
MERRIFIELD
OVVIO OSTERIA
2727 Merrilee Dr.
(703) 573-2161
DINNER, 25%
Italian

SEA PEARL
8191 Strawberry Lane
Suite 2
(703) 372-5161
DINNER, 25%
Asian, Seafood
OLD TOWN
ALEXANDRIA
HANK’S OYSTER BAR
OLD TOWN
1026 King St.
(703) 739-4265
DINNER, 25%
Seafood
PENTAGON CITY
THAIPHOON AT
PENTAGON
1301 S. Joyce St. D4
(703)413-8200
DINNER, 25%
Thai
SHIRLINGTON
GUAPO’S RESTAURANT
4028 Campbell Ave
(703) 671-1701
DINNER, 25%
Tex-Mex
BUSBOYS AND POETS
4251 S. Campbell Ave.
(703) 379-9757
DINNER, 35%
American l
MARYLAND VIRGINIA
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A
SK MOSES PENDLETON ABOUT HIS DANCE
company Momix’s next show in D.C. and he’ll give you
a perfectly lucid description — and then crack wise.
“Botanica is a show that hopefully gives you the feeling
of going through the four seasons, using basically the gar-
den and natural world as inspiration,” he says, continuing
on a bit before stopping to laugh. “Of course there is the
opportunity to dream if you don’t like the show. If you have
that kind of concentration.”
Little doubt Botanica, which Momix performs next
weekend at Lisner Auditorium as presented by WPAS, is
as engaging and full of whimsy as its creator. Pendleton
jokes that he first performed at Lisner with Pilobolus, the
acclaimed company he co-founded before Momix, “Way,
way, way back to the beginning of time.”
Pendleton formed Momix in 1981, which was years
before other less-dance-centric companies, from Cirque
du Soleil to the Blue Man Group, emerged to help sell
the mainstream on the idea of physical, even surrealistic,
theater. The idea didn’t come to Pendleton by dream. “I
was born and raised on a dairy farm, and my dream was to
be a skier,” says the man born in Vermont who spent his
summers as a teenager skiing in Oregon. But after he broke
Athletic Aesthetic
Moses Pendleton choreographs feats with his dance company Momix
his leg in a college skiing accident, Pendleton took a dance
class, “just by accident, to get back in shape.” And that’s
how his background as an athlete clearly inspired what has
become his career as a “dancer/athlete, putting an aesthetic
on the athletic.”
“I spend a lot of time decanting the past in various
conversations,” Pendleton initially says about plans for his
future. Turns out the man who recently turned 65 is gradu-
ally working with “a few trusty assistants” to archive and
digitize his materials for an eventual memoir. “The memoirs
of an amnesiac,” he teases. Pendleton also spends extended
periods every day walking and swimming. (He retired from
dancing years ago.) And that physical activity helps fuel his
creativity and his unabated passion for defying expecta-
tions, certainly when it comes to his choreography.
“If people leave with a little less gravity in their step,”
Pendleton says in a final comment about Botanica, “it’ll be
successful.” – Doug Rule
Momix perform Friday, April 25, and Saturday, April 26, at 8
p.m., at Lisner Auditorium, The George Washington Univer-
sity, 730 21st St. NW. Tickets are $28 to $48. Call 202-994-
6851 or visit lisner.org or wpas.org. l
27 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
28 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
SPOTLIGHT
AWESOME CON 2014
A celebration of geekdom, from comic books to video
games, and its influence on today’s pop culture, D.C.’s
annual comic-con offers three days of discussion
panels, costume contests, gaming tournaments and
trivia. Among the “fantasy” celebrities expected this
weekend: Billie Piper (Doctor Who), Cary Elwes
(The Princess Bride, Robin Hood: Men in Tights),
Sean Astin (Lord of the Rings Trilogy) and Danai
Gurira (Walking Dead). Friday, April 18, from 3 p.m.
to 8 p.m., Saturday, April 19, from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.,
and Sunday, April 20, at 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Walter E.
Washington Convention Center, 801 Mount Vernon
Place NW. Tickets and passes range from $20 to
$250. Visit awesomecondc.com.
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ATTHEW HEMERLEIN WILL PERFORM AS
Lo-Fang at Sixth & I Historic Synagogue next
weekend, for a concert not two months since the
pop musician’s debut at Echostage.
“It was nice to play someplace I’d never even been
before,” says Hemerlein, who opened for Lorde. “It’s great
to see new places opening in D.C.”
Those aren’t merely idle words from an itinerant musi-
cian, one who also expects next weekend “to see lots of
familiar faces and hang out a little bit,” adding for good
measure: “I love D.C.”
In fact, the 30-year-old Hemerlein grew up outside
Columbia, Md., and lived in D.C. as recently as two years
ago. Back then the singing multi-instrumentalist was regu-
larly making the rounds of local performance spaces and
open-mike spots — as well as doing the occasional good
deed, such as modeling and promoting a designer T-shirt
to benefit the Human Rights Campaign’s marriage-equality
work. “I really respect the movement and everything that
they’re working towards,” says Hemerlein, who’s straight.
Hemerlein’s sound merges his strings-heavy classical
upbringing with modern-day pop, which started generating
international buzz years ago, most notably in Iceland. “For
such a small place, it’s amazing that so many world-class
people come from out of that culture,” says Hemerlein, who
was tapped to play the heralded Iceland Airwaves music
festival in 2011 and stayed on in Reykjavik afterward to soak up the sonic air. In addition to the Nordic country’s pop patron
saint Bjork, you can also hear austere electronic influences from Icelandic acts GusGus and Sigur Ros on the Lo-Fang set Blue
Film. For that absorbing debut album released earlier this year, Hemerlein worked with Australian producer Francois Tetaz,
best known for his Grammy Award-winning work with Gotye.
After hearing an early copy of Blue Film, Lorde, the New Zealand teenager born Ella Yelich-O’Connor, handpicked Hemer-
lein for her first U.S. tour, and even sang with him onstage. But any future plans with Lorde or anyone else will have to wait.
Hemerlein’s sole focus at the moment is on his own headlining U.S. tour, performing with two supporting musicians.
“I’m going to be playing lots of instruments onstage,” he says. “There’s going to be a certain level of improvisation that we
weren’t really able to do at the Lorde show.” – Doug Rule
Lo-Fang performs Saturday, April 26, at 8 p.m., at Sixth & I Historic Synagogue, 600 I St. NW. Tickets are
$15 in advance or $18 day of. Call 202-408-3100 or visit sixthandi.org.
CLOUD CULT
An eccentric, eight-piece, indie rock band from
Minnesota, Cloud Cult often reminds you of bigger-
named artists, ranging from Bon Iver to Mumford
& Sons to the Polyphonic Spree. Certainly Cloud
Cult itself would be a bigger-known entity had it
not turned down offers from major label records
and opting to stick with founder Craig Minowa’s
environmentally focused Earthology Records. But of
course that progressive, independent spirit only adds
to their appeal. The group tours in support of a new
live recording. Saturday, April 19, at 8 p.m. Sixth & I
Historic Synagogue. 600 I St. NW. Tickets are $20
day of show. Call 202-408-3100 or visit sixthandi.org.

GALANTIS
Pop-flavored off-kilter EDM is exactly what you’d
expect from a Swedish duo whose collective
production pedigree includes quirky dance acts
Miike Snow (“Animal”), Bloodshy & Avant (writers
of Britney Spears’s “Toxic”) and Style of Eye (a
co-writer of Icona Pop’s “I Love It”). Teaming up as
Galantis, Christian “Bloodshy” Karlsson and Linus
“Style of Eye” Eklow set up a studio in a Baltic
Sea archipelago. And that setting is reflected in the
absorbing music featured on its self-titled debut EP,
including singles “Smile” and “You”: It’s somehow
generally both icy and energetic, moody and buoyant.
Thursday, April 24, Doors at 9 p.m. Nightclub 9:30,
815 V St. NW. Tickets are $30. Call 202-265-0930 or
visit 930.com. Also visit 930.com/friends to sign up
for the club’s Friends With Benefits rewards program
offering exclusive deals and discounts on tickets,
drinks and merchandise.
GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF WASHINGTON
The 14-member a cappella group Potomac Fever and
the 32-voice Rock Creek Singers, this gay chorus’s
two stellar select vocal ensembles, showcase their
Compiled by Doug Rule
Hi Lo-Fang
Matthew Hemerlein returns to D.C. for a
post-Lorde hometown show
skills in a wide-ranging program titled “Forte.”
Saturday, April 19, at 5 and 8 p.m. Kogod Cradle in
Arena Stage’s Mead Center for American Theater,
1101 6th St. SW. Tickets are $35 to $40. Call 202-293-
1548 or visit gmcw.org.
JARMAN (ALL THIS MADDENING BEAUTY)
The performance ensemble company force/
collision, founded by local theater maverick John
Moletress, premieres its latest complicated creation,
a part-film/part-performance show inspired by the
late queer activist and filmmaker Derek Jarman
(The Last of England, Caravaggio, Sebastiane).
Moletress directs and performs live in Jarman (all
this maddening beauty), developed in part with noted
Latin-American playwright Caridad Svich and force/
collion’s team of theater designers. In addition, Ben
Carver serves as the production’s filmmaker, and
worked with a small cast of actors and voiceover
artists. Opens in a Pay-What-You-Can Preview
Thursday, April 17, at 8 p.m. To April 27. Atlas
Performing Arts Center, 1333 H St. NE. Tickets are
$20, or $10 with a Capital Fringe Button. Call 202-
399-7993 or visit atlasarts.org or force-collision.org.
JUN KANEKO’S CERAMIC SCULPTURES
In advance of its May production of The Magic
Flute, the Washington National Opera presents an
installation of ceramic sculptures by Jun Kaneko, the
set and costume designer for WNO’s new version of
Mozart’s final opera. A renowned visual artist and
painter, Kaneko balances the aesthetic elements of his
Japanese-American heritage in his work, represented
in this exhibition with pieces from his “dumpling”
series HEADS, Dangos as well as his series about a
mischievous shape-shifter Tanuki. Now through May
19. Kennedy Center Hall of Nations. Call 202-467-
4600 or visit kennedy-center.org.
MOTH
Studio Theatre’s experimental-focused 2nd Stage
presents the U.S. premiere of Moth, Australian
playwright Declan Greene’s story about two teen
outcasts who escape the horrors of high school
through their friendship and obsessions with anime
and emo. Tom Story directs Allie Villareal and David
Nate Goldman in this show exploring the intimate,
devastating betrayals of adolescence. To May 4.
Studio Theatre, 14th & P Streets NW. Tickets are $30
to $35. Call 202-332-3300 or visit studiotheatre.org.
THE ALL-AMERICAN GENDERFUCK CABARET
Baltimore’s interactive-oriented Glass Mind Theatre
presents a show by Mariah MacCarthy pushing
the boundaries of theater and exploring audience
members’ gender and sexual stereotypes and
identity. Susan Stroupe directs this show featuring an
androgynous emcee and combining humor, drama,
raunchy jokes and dancing. To April 19. Gallery 788,
3602 Hickory Ave., Baltimore. Tickets are $10 to $15.
Call 443-475-0223 or visit glassmindtheatre.com.
TRASH PHOTO CONTEST,
EARTH BLANKETS & REMNANTS
Touchstone Gallery encourages everyone to take
photos of “atrocious trash” and enter its Trash
Photo Contest, just one of two exhibits presented
in April in commemoration of Earth Day. The other
is Rosemary Luckett’s Earth Blankets & Remnants,
photo collages and photo-printed fabric blankets
pointing to what is covered and what is revealed in
today’s American landscape, exploring changes in
the natural world and the environment. On display
through a closing reception, during which the Best
Atrocious Trash Photo will be selected, Friday, April
25, from 6 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Touchstone Gallery,
901 New York Ave. NW Call 202-347-2787 or visit
touchstonegallery.com.
UNIVERSAL GEAR’S GRAND OPENING PARTY
After first making the leap from 17th Street NW to join
the increasingly bustling 14th Street NW a few years
ago, gay D.C.’s fashion empire Universal Gear has now
jumped to a surprisingly even more bustling section of
the street a few blocks north, directly across from the
brand-new Trader Joe’s. This Saturday, April 19, the
clothing retailer will ramp up the 1900 block’s buzzy
vibe with an afternoon party featuring a DJ, cocktails
served by Cobalt, models parading around in the latest
skimpy swimwear fashions, plus gifts and special
discounts. And even more cause for celebration: 10
percent of all sales will be donated to SMYAL. Yes
it’s true, you’ve definitely got some shopping to do!
Saturday, April 19, from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. Universal
Gear, 1919 14th St. N.W. Call 202-319-0136 or visit
universalgear.com.
STAGE
CAMP DAVID
Arena Stage presents a world premiere from Pulitzer
Prize-winning New Yorker writer Lawrence Wright
(My Trip to Al-Qaeda, the new scientology exposé
Going Clear). Camp David is Wright’s dramatization
about the historical multiday meeting in 1978 among
a few key world leaders, held in the show’s namesake
Maryland retreat, attempting to forge peace in the
Middle East. The meeting resulted in really the only
treaty, the Camp David Accords, establishing peace
between Israel and Egypt, to yet stand the test of
time in the modern-day Middle East. Molly Smith
directs a cast that includes Richard “John Boy”
Thomas as President Jimmy Carter, Ron Rifkin as
Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin, Khaled
Nabawy as Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and
Hallie Foote as first lady Rosalynn Carter. To May
5. Kreeger Theater the at Mead Center for American
29 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
30
Theater, 1101 6th St. SW. Tickets are $75 to $120. Call 202-488-3300 or visit
arenastage.org.
GOLDA’S BALCONY
Tovah Feldshuh reprises the role that earned her a Tony nomination a decade
ago, portraying Golda Meir in a show that set the record for the longest-
running one-woman show in Broadway history. William Gibson’s Golda’s Balcony
presents the story of the state of Israel in the 20th century and is presented as
part of Theater J’s Voices From A Changing Middle East Festival. To April 27.
The Aaron & Cecile Goldman Theater, Washington, D.C.’s Jewish Community
Center, 1529 16th St. NW. Tickets are $30 to $55. Call 202-518-9400 or visit
washingtondcjcc.org.
HAIR
The Keegan Theatre presents a production of the pioneering rock musical Hair,
both a joyous celebration of youth and a poignant journey through tumultuous
1960s America. The company’s leaders and husband-and-wife team Susan Marie
Rhea and Mark A. Rhea direct the show whose book and lyrics were written by
Gerome Ragni and James Rado with music by Galt MacDermot. In addition to the
classic songs such as “Aquarius,” “Let the Sunshine In” and “Sodomy,” Keegan’s
production features choreography by Rachel Leigh Dolan and a large ensemble
cast led by Paul Scanlon and Josh Stricklin. To April 27. Andrew Keegan Theatre
(formerly Church Street Theater), 1742 Church St. NW. Tickets are $35. Call 703-
892-0202 or visit keegantheatre.com.
TENDER NAPALM
Signature Theatre presents the Washington premiere of an edgy, new battle-
of-the-sexes drama by Philip Ridley, whom the New York Times’ Ben Brantley
shouted about in a review as “one of the most linguistically vivid dramatists on
the planet!” Signature’s associate artistic director Matthew Gardiner directs this
story about a man and a woman, played by Elan Zafir and Laura C. Harris, at a
crucial point in their relationship in the aftermath of an extraordinary loss. To
May 11. Ark Theatre at Signature Theatre, 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. Call
703-820-9771 or visit signature-theatre.org.
THE AMISH PROJECT
The acclaimed local theater collective Factory449 presents the D.C. area premiere
of Jessica Dickey’s The Amish Project, about the 2005 shooting at the one-room
Amish schoolhouse in Nickel Mines, Penn. Helen Hayes Award Winner and
Factory449 member Nanna Ingvarsson takes on the task of portraying the
seven characters in this production of the show, which was partially inspired by
Moises Kaufman’s The Laramie Project. And there’s even a direct link to last fall’s
stellar production of The Laramie Project at Ford’s Theatre: Holly Twyford, who
starred in that ensemble show and now directs Facctory449’s production. Opens
Thursday, April 17, at 8 p.m. To May 11. Anacostia Arts Center, 1231 Good Hope
Road SE. Tickets are $20. Call 202-355-9449 or visit factory449.org.
THE TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA
The Folger Theatre welcomes New York’s Fiasco Theater for its typically
inventive spin on Shakespeare, in this case the dizzying romantic comedy The
Two Gentlemen of Verona about mistaken identity featuring bandits and a grumpy
bulldog. Fiasco’s co-artistic directors Ben Steinfeld and Jessie Austrian direct the
ensemble production in which Austrian acts alongside Zachary Fine, Noah Brody,
Paul L. Coffey, Andy Grotelueschen and Emily Young. Now in previews. Opens
Saturday, April 19, at 7:30 p.m. To May 25. Folger Theatre, 201 East Capitol St. SE.
Tickets are $30 to $72. Call 202-544-7077 or visit folger.edu.
VANYA AND SONIA AND MASHA AND SPIKE
Only a year after its Tony Award-winning original run on Broadway, Baltimore’s
Center Stage jumps a full year ahead of D.C.’s Arena Stage with a new production
of Christopher Durang’s Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike. The comedy riffs
on classic literary and theatrical themes, chiefly Chekhov, as a lifetime of sibling
rivalry explodes into a weekend of comedic pyrotechnics. A co-production with
the Kansas City Repertory Theatre and directed by that company’s Eric Rosen,
the new production stars Bruce Nelson, Barbara Walsh, Susan Rome and Zachary
Andrews in the four title roles. Tuesday, April 22, starting at 6:30 p.m., is Night
Out, a pre-show happy hour for gay patrons. Show runs to May 25. Center Stage,
700 North Calvert St., Baltimore. Tickets are $19 to $62. Call 410-986-4000 or
visit centerstage.org.
MUSIC
ANI DIFRANCO, ERIC HIMAN
Nearly 25 years after helping chart the DIY path to success as a contemporary
folk-rock singer-songwriter, Ani DiFranco is still out constantly touring. Next
stop: Baltimore’s Ram’s Head Live, inviting her charming and handsome gay
protégé Eric Himan to be her opening act. Saturday, April 26, at 8 p.m. Ram’s
Head Live!, 20 Market Place, Baltimore. Tickets are $40. Call 410-244-1131 or
visit ramsheadlive.com.
BOY GEORGE
Three decades since bursting on the scene with Culture Club, Boy George isn’t
nearly as androgynous or even as flamboyant, and he’s far more grounded, both
in voice and in deed. He makes a long overdue return to the U.S. on a tour with
a 9-piece band that will perform selections from his full repertoire, though
the focus is on This Is What I Do, his first original solo album in 18 years. “I’m
expecting that this tour will be attracting pretty hardcore fans,” he told Metro
Weekly, adding with a laugh: “I’m hoping that they’ll have done some of their
homework with the music.” Monday, April 21, Doors at 7 p.m. Nightclub 9:30, 815
V St. NW. Tickets are $35. Call 202-265-0930 or visit 930.com. Also visit 930.com/
friends to sign up for the club’s Friends With Benefits rewards program offering
exclusive deals and discounts on tickets, drinks and merchandise.
JACKSON BROWNE
With hit songs from 30 and 40 years ago, including “Running on Empty,” “The
Pretender,” “Lawyers in Love” and “Somebody’s Baby,” Jackson Browne helped
pioneer a style of passionate, heartfelt rock that artfully, articulating expresses
political and personal views. Tickets on sale Friday, April 18, at 10 a.m. for
APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
31 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
THE WASHINGTON BALLET
Tour-de-Force is a gala-style program of provocative
and engaging classical and contemporary ballets,
this year centered on George Balanchine’s Theme
and Variations with music by Tchaikovsky. Also on
the bill: Flames of Paris by Vasily Vainonen with
music by Boris Asafyev and D-Construction by the
Washington Ballet’s own Septime Webre and music
by John Cage. Wednesday, April 23, through Friday,
April 24, at 7:30 p.m. Kennedy Center Eisenhower
Theater. Tickets are $35 to $125. Call 202-833-9800
or visit kennedy-center.org.
COMEDY
GARY GULMAN
The Kennedy Center offers a rare performance of
stand-up comedy as part of its free daily Millennium
Stage programming. A literal comedy giant, standing
at 6 feet 6 inches, Gary Gulman has been prevalent
on Comedy Central and the late-night television
circuit in the decade since he was a two-time finalist
on NBC’s Last Comic Standing. From Saturday, April
19, at 6 p.m. Kennedy Center Millennium Stage. Free.
Call 202-467-4600 or visit kennedy-center.org.
THE SECOND CITY
Chicago’s legendary improv troupe returns to the
Barns at Wolf Trap for another revue of uproarious
sketches and songs playing off the latest news and
celebrity gossip. Friday, April 18, at 8 p.m., and
Saturday, April 19, at 7:30 p.m. The Barns at Wolf
Trap, 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. Tickets are $25 to
$27. Call 877-WOLFTRAP or visit wolftrap.org. l
are $30. Call 202-467-4600 or visit
kennedy-center.org.
WILLIAM FITZSIMMONS
Raised by blind parents in Pittsburgh who
valued playing music as a key way to engage and
communicate, William Fitzsimmons’s folk music as
a professional singer-songwriter is as expressive and
richly orchestrated as you might expect from that
sort-of upbringing, akin to Iron & Wine or Sufjan
Stevens. But it’s also dramatically colored by years
of training and work as a counselor and therapist,
with lyrics often exploring complicated issues, such
as the personal and psychological effects of divorce
and mental health. Fitzsimmons tours with a full
band in support of the recently released set Lions,
produced by Death Cab for Cutie’s Chris Walla.
Sunday, April 20, at 8 p.m. The Howard Theatre, 620
T St. NW. Tickets are $25 day-of show. Call 202-588-
5595 or visit thehowardtheatre.com. Also Monday,
April 21, at 8 p.m. Metro Gallery, 1700 N. Charles
St. Baltimore. Tickets are $15. Call 410-244-0899 or
visit themetrogallery.net.
DANCE
AMERICAN BALLET THEATRE
The Kennedy Center plays host this weekend to this
company’s spirited staging of Don Quixote, praised by
the New York Times for Marius Petipa and Alexander
Gorsky’s “glorious passages of choreography” set to
Ludwig Minkus’s melodic score and all taking place
in a storybook Spain. Thursday, April 17, through
Saturday, April 19, at 7:30 p.m. Also Saturday, April
19, and Sunday, April 20, at 1:30 p.m. Kennedy
Center Opera House. Tickets are $25 to $109. Call
202-467-4600 or visit kennedy-center.org.
Saturday, Aug. 23, show at Hippodrome Theatre, 12
North Eutaw St., Baltimore. Tickets are $49.75 to
$61.75. Call 800-745-3000 or visit LiveNation.com.
MARYLAND OPERA STUDIO
Nick Olcott leads University of Maryland opera
students in a production of Johann Strauss’s beloved
1874 operetta Die Fledermaus, the ultimate Viennese
confection of witty pranksters, straying spouses
and lilting melodies. Saturday, April 19, at 7:30
p.m. Clarice Smith Performing Arts Center’s Ina
and Jack Kay Theatre, University of Maryland,
University Boulevard and Stadium Drive, College
Park. Tickets are $25. Call 301-405-ARTS or visit
claricesmithcenter.umd.edu.
NATIONAL SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA
Osmo Vanska leads the National Symphony Orchestra
in a performance of Mendelssohn’s Symphony No. 4,
otherwise known as the “Italian Symphony.” The
program also features the NSO debut of Martin Frost
performing Aho’s Clarinet Concerto, plus Sibelius’s
Symphony No. 3. Thursday, April 24, at 7 p.m. Also
Friday, April 25, and Saturday, April 25, at 8 p.m.
Kennedy Center Concert Hall. Tickets are $10 to
$85. Call 202-833-9800 or visit kennedy-center.org.
THE WASHINGTON DC
INTERNATIONAL MUSIC FESTIVAL 2014
Every year the World Projects Corporation rewards
a handful of top music ensembles from high schools
and communities in the U.S. and beyond with the
opportunity to perform at the Kennedy Center.
This year’s lineup features three high school wind
ensembles, two from California and one from
Chicago, the Tubinger Saxophone Ensemble from
Heidelberg, Germany and the Virginia All Steel
Orchestra from Martinsville, Va. Monday, April 21,
at 7:30 p.m. Kennedy Center Concert Hall. Tickets
32 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
FOR MORE OUT ON THE TOWN LISTINGS
PLEASE VISIT WWW.METROWEEKLY.COM
33 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
Trends or Truth
M
AYBE THE THING YOU REMEMBER MOST
about the 1990s is Friends. Or maybe you
remember it as the era when we were con-
stantly tempted with promises of “no-fat” and
“low-fat.” Today, walking the aisles of any grocery store you’ll
still spot all sorts of bright, bold labels proclaiming “Fat Free!”
or “Low Fat!” as a result of that era’s research that essentially
warned that fat is whack.
Thankfully, knowledge of the body and nutrition has started
to swing back toward reality. Sure, excess fat in your diet can
lead to excess fat on the body. But simply being the most calorie-
dense macronutrient out there doesn’t make fat evil – not when
there’s gluten lurking around.
Welcome to the new hot topic. Gluten intolerance has taken
a stranglehold on nutrition. Again, there’s some truth behind
the fear. Gluten negatively affects some people’s digestion, for
example. In reality, though, all macronutrients found in food
have some role to play. Nutritional research is not complete. It’s
ongoing. And for every bit of new information, there’s a market-
ing team or milkshake eager to cash in.
Training is not immune to riding the “trend train,” either.
There has been a long-standing debate between the two main
groups of weightlifters. Power lifters advocate fewer repetitions
with higher weight. Bodybuilders, on the other hand, go for
increased repetitions with lower weight to spur growth.
Earlier this month, a new study was released. To power lift-
health
by BRANDON HARRISON
illustration by CHRISTOPHER CUNETTO
Fads might by fine for fashion,
but your body deserves better
34 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
ers’ joy, it concluded that muscular size
gains were identical across two groups,
with one group lifting increased reps and
the other lower. However, the low-rep
group had stronger growth in its one-rep-
maximum on the bench press. All of that
means that power lifters are right: You
can get similar size gains with low reps.
And bodybuilders are sort of wrong – at
least for now.
Herein lies the problem with nutri-
tional and health studies. There will
always be contradictions. There are so
many different variables that any abso-
lute truth a practical impossibility. Sleep,
diet, training protocol and even level of
muscular development between different
participants can all skew data.
This brings me to a crossroads in
both professional accountability and my
desire to provide the most helpful content.
Access to all available research – even for
someone with the access to it and time to
digest it – would still be nothing more than
a starting point. The secret to becoming
fit and healthy is not the newest fad diet
someone’s plugging on television, or the
latest training protocol you’ve read about
in a magazine. It’s about what works for
you, regardless of what you read or hear –
or see beyond your own body.
The body is a remarkably complicated
piece of machinery, and although we’re
all made of the same fleshy bag of bones,
we’re all made rather differently. Add in
the psychological aspect, and you have a
big bag of illogical desires and preferences.
It’s important to find what you love
to do and to do it again and again. When
it comes to nutrition, this is the reason
I recommend the “If It Fits Your Mac-
ros” plan. This type of diet plan allows
you to have the things you enjoy by for-
going other things. It keeps a balanced
approach and allows you to subscribe to
any particular meal plan you’d like. All
you have to do is track your calories, and
aim for a specific amount of carbs, pro-
teins and fats. Hit them consistently, and
you’ll see results.
Science is continuing to increase life
spans. Those advances aren’t negated by
eating a moderate amount of fat. Chowing
down a dozen doughnuts every weekend
won’t help you live longer or feel bet-
ter, but one now and then isn’t cause for
alarm. Lifting at a higher rep range isn’t
going to spell the end of your fitness
career – your limbs won’t fall off.
Trends will come and go, but we
get just one body. Listen to it carefully,
and it will usually steer you in the right
direction. l
35 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
Scented Geranium
Homegrown Edibles
I
T’S AN ATTRACTIVE HOUSEPLANT, BUT IT’S ALSO
edible.”
That’s not something lifelong horticulturist Jonathan
Bardzik gets to say very often. In fact, during a conversa-
tion about growing edibles at home, Bardzik only makes the
claim once, singling out scented geraniums, or the many fragrant
and flavorful varieties of those popular potted plants with color-
ful flowers. Scented geranium leaves, whether mint or orange or
chocolate, can be chopped up finely and added to a fruit salad
or to a small container of sugar. “Let it set for a few days,” says
Bardzik, popularly known as the “Eastern Market chef” for his
Saturday cooking demonstrations at the venue, “and it will per-
fume that sugar with the scent.” Put that in your morning coffee
and savor it.
All in all, it can be a challenge to grow edible plants at
home, particularly if you have little or no outdoor space and
limited exposure to sun. Everything really does revolve around
the sun — very little survives in the shade. Even those most
basic of edibles, herbs, require at least some sun for perennial
growth. Then again, maybe it’s better to just think of potted
herbs, at least easy-to-find ones such as basil and thyme, the
way we do cut flowers — as a short-term, accenting purchase.
“Don’t be afraid to throw out herbs that are wilting or dry-
ing up after a few weeks,” instructs Bardzik, who works for
AmericanHort, the plant industry trade association. His green
thumb just might be genetic: His family runs garden centers in
home
T
O
D
D

B
O
L
A
N
D
by DOUG RULE
Growing food in an urban home
has rewards you can sink
your teeth into
36 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
his native New England.
Bardzik’s advice to consider herbs like cut flowers points to
another key consideration when growing edible plants: appre-
ciating their decorative qualities. The edibles you grow should
accent your home, not detract or overwhelm it. “That’s one
of my main criteria for growing edible plants in a small urban
space,” Bardzik says. “Anything I’m going to grow needs to look
attractive.” In the small yard of his D.C. home, for instance,
Bardzik has planted a couple varieties of BrazelBerries. These
branded berry plants from an Oregon nursery are significantly
smaller and more compact than the traditional fruit-bearing
varieties. “It’s a nice, bushy, compact, two-and-a-half to three-
feet tall raspberry plant,” Bardzik says of the variety known as
Raspberry Shortcake, which each summer bears enough of the
red fruit for a couple pies and several mornings of pancakes.
Unless you have a larger yard, with room enough for planting
trees, growing most other types of fruit is out of the question.
But not all: The Old City Farm and Guild, a garden shop in D.C.’s
Shaw neighborhood, offers one other option: the patio peach tree.
“The patio peach tree grows well in a container,” says Frank
Asher, the landscape gardener who owns and operates Old City.
“It doesn’t get very big and it produces lots of peaches.”
That is, of course, with one key caveat, adds Asher: “If your
patio can get a good four hours or more of sun.”
In season, Bardzik offers cooking demonstrations at Eastern Mar-
ket, 225 7th St. SE, on Saturdays, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. For more, visit
whatihaventcookedyet/wordpress.com. Old City Farm and Guild
is at 925 Rhode Island Ave. NW and is open Tuesday to Friday
from noon to 7:30 p.m. and 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. weekends. Visit them
online at oldcityfarmandguild.com, or call 202-412-2489. l
marketplace
37 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
38 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
Swedish Style
I
F I ASKED YOU TO THINK OF VOLVO, WHERE WOULD
your mind wander off to? Would it retreat to the 1950s and
’60s, to the gorgeous, curvy P1900 and P1800 sports cars
or to the 1800ES station wagon? Or would you think of
the boxy wagons and sedans Volvo became notorious for in the
’80s and ’90s? More likely than not, it’s the latter. Volvo’s passion
for safe, functional, well-made cars led to a spate of autos — the
850, the 740, the first generation V70 — all designed with a ruler.
These big, Swedish, boxes on wheels were famous for protect-
ing their occupants from crashes and offering sprightly turbo-
charged engines, but their design language caused Volvo’s cachet
with buyers to suffer, and sales declined throughout the ’90s.
The turn of the century brought a fresh design strategy and
new ownership. Ford bought the brand, hoping to capitalize on
Volvo’s obsession with safety by using its technologies across
their own numerous marques. The new millennium gave us the
soccer-mom favorite XC90 SUV, as well as redesigned and re-
freshed wagons and sedans — the S60, the C70, the V40 — all
in an attempt to revitalize the Swedish company. The financial
crisis in 2008 threatened to undo what little progress had been
made, however. Ford’s attempts at pushing the marque upmar-
ket to compete with the established German brands prevented
middle-America from being able to afford them in the new, cash-
strapped economic climate. Mass layoffs occurred, with Volvo’s
ownership worrying that Ford would shutter the then 80-year-
old company in an effort to stem losses. Mercifully, Ford settled
on selling Volvo, which was snapped up by Chinese firm Geely
for a mere $1.8 billion. The rest, as they say, is history. Volvo is
still with us, so they must be doing something right.
I must admit that I’ve never been a great fan. To me, Volvos
were very much a car of the suburbs, driven by parents who
gears
by RHUARIDH MARR
The Volvo S60 is attractive,
easy to live with and
fun to drive
39 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
wished to keep their children safe in something reliable and well
made. If they wanted to bring the family dog, too, they’d buy a
Volvo station wagon. They were sedate, comfy, but never some-
thing you desired to own. They didn’t set my pulse racing.
Of course, that’s never really been the point. Volvo designs
some of the safest cars on the road, intending for drivers to al-
ways reach point B without a single accident en route from point
A. The latest technologies in many Volvos mean they can brake
and park themselves, detect cyclists, pedestrians, other cars, alert
a drowsy driver to pull over, or even ready the car if it detects that
a crash is unavoidable. By 2020, Volvo is determined that “no-
body shall be seriously injured or killed in a new Volvo.” That’s a
bold claim, and whether or not it’s achievable is entirely subjec-
tive. If there’s one car company that can do it, however, it’s Volvo.
It’s why I was surprised, then, on a recent trip to Harpers Fer-
ry, W.V. Reaching the Hertz counter at the Washington Hilton, I
was offered a choice of two vehicles from their Prestige Collec-
tion, which I’d opted for to enhance the drive to West Virginia.
Outside stood a white Mercedes-Benz E350, with Merc’s purr-
ing V6 engine and sumptuous cabin. Behind it, a black Volvo S60,
with the Swede’s 5-cylinder turbocharged T5 engine. It was no
contest. I took the Volvo.
Now, convention and history would have normally steered me
into the seat of the German, but I can’t emphasize enough how
striking the new S60 is in person. It’s not beautiful, per se. It is,
instead, incredibly handsome. It’s muscular, with a purposeful
front end and a sharp, pert rear. It’s striking in person, especially
in the shining black of my rental. Inside, it’s so far, so Volvo. The
trademark floating center console is here, as are its big, comfy
seats and premium feel. As a place to while away the hours, it
won’t cosset you as much as a Cadillac or German sedan. And
while the plastics aren’t as premium as they could be on the parts
you touch less frequently, overall it’s very pleasant.
The instrument cluster deserves particular mention. It’s a
large, digital display, with three selectable modes — Elegance,
Eco and Performance. I selected the latter option, which turns
the speedometer an enticingly sporty red and displays available
power, and forgot the other two modes existed. However, while I
found it a cinch to navigate the display and onboard infotainment
system, our editor-in-chief showed his age when he struggled
to connect his phone to Bluetooth. It’s not an intuitive system,
though it does look very clean and modern. Similarly, though
Volvo’s center stack is minimalist, some of the buttons are a little
too minute — not ideal for a company focused on safety to force
drivers to spend longer than necessary trying to input something.
Out on the road, it felt as I’d expected. Planted, secure, sta-
ble. The S60 rides on the firm side, but it’s never uncomfort-
able. It irons out the worst scars on the highway, but it doesn’t
wallow and pitch while navigating on-ramps or under-braking.
The steering wheel is thick and meaty, with a great feel in the
hand. It’s also surprisingly heavy, almost harking back to the
days before power steering robbed a lot of the natural feel from
driving. It isn’t cumbersome to navigate around the city, but it’s
noticeably tougher to turn the wheel than with some competi-
tors. At speed, though, it helps the S60 feel as solid as a Swedish
rock. Aiding that is its T5 engine. A 5-cylinder power plant, it’s
a unique little engine; a 2.5-liter, 254 hp, 266 lb ft turbocharged
unit paired to a 6-speed auto box. It offers a pleasant burble at
standstill, which livens into a rorty growl under hard accelera-
tion. It’s slightly gruff, but that only makes it more endearing.
40 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
There’s enough power for overtaking and merging, though a few
extra horses under the hood wouldn’t go amiss.
Overall, my impressions were positive, but far from bowled
over. It was pleasant, surprising in places, but there wasn’t any-
thing particularly revelatory to suggest why there are some truly
devoted Volvo owners out there. That feeling lasted for most of
the journey to Harpers Ferry — right up until I hit the winding
roads that snake through the hills around the historic town. It
was here that the Volvo unleashed its secret weapon: It is ridicu-
lously good fun to drive. That heavy, chunky steering wheel feels
directly connected to the road, with every input I made resulting
in surefooted, immediate changes in direction. This 3,500 pound
sedan let me throw it around tight, winding back roads without
ever putting up a fight. Understeer is minimal, the back end is
tight, grip is plentiful, the T5 engine starts to sing once Sport is
engaged on the auto box. Squeezing the throttle to power out of
a corner, the engine barking, suspension soaking up the worst
undulations in the road, I couldn’t help but smile — and I didn’t
stop. Harpers Ferry became something of an afterthought as I
searched my smartphone for more roads, tighter corners, better
bends. I lost my afternoon finding roads to challenge this Swed-
ish superstar and every time I reached the end of another beauti-
ful stretch of pavement I fell a little bit more in love with it.
With disdain I left the countryside of West Virginia and head-
ed back to D.C., settling back in to freeway speeds. It’s here that
you can pick holes in the S60’s armor. It isn’t as well equipped
as some rivals, lacking many of Volvo’s headline safety features
such as pedestrian detection or auto-braking. It was also devoid
of parking sensors, a reverse camera and satellite navigation —
things buyers in this category would likely expect as standard. Its
T5 engine, though fun to rev, isn’t as efficient as I’d have liked and
could definitely have used an extra gear or two, managing just 30
mpg highway. That latter complaint, however, is solved with the
2015 model year, as Volvo has changed the T5 engine to a 2.0-li-
ter, 4-cylinder model that boosts economy to 37 mpg highway —
an 8-speed gearbox and 100 lbs of flab lost helping immensely.
In many respects, at face value the S60 shares a lot in com-
mon with its Swedish neighbor IKEA. It’s attractive, competi-
tively priced and easy to live with. It’s been designed to appeal
to as many people as possible and has been extensively tested for
durability. Similarly, there are some notable quirks. A few screws
will likely be missing from that bookshelf you’ve just bought,
much like some equipment is missing from the S60. Drive the
S60 like a normal sedan — grocery shopping, the daily commute,
out to dinner — and it’ll perform just fine. You’ll likely enjoy own-
ing it. Take it out for a proper drive, though, and the similari-
ties end. It transforms into a bespoke piece of luxury furniture.
Honed, crafted, solid.
Every time I climbed behind the wheel of the S60 I wanted to
drive it. I would detour through Rock Creek Park just to throw
it round a few more corners. I would caress the meaty steering
wheel, glance over the red dials, engage its addictive Sport mode.
In a weekend, it had succeeded in doing something I didn’t think
possible — I wanted this Volvo. Returning it to Hertz, I wondered
no longer why people love their Volvos. If something can be that
durable, that safe and also be that fun to drive, I’m forever grate-
ful that Ford sold the company rather than shutter it. A world
without incredible surprises like the Volvo S60 would be a dull
world indeed.
Special thanks go to Hertz for providing the vehicle for this article.
The S60 is available as part of Hertz’s Prestige Collection, a range
of luxury SUVs, crossovers, sedans, coupes and convertibles avail-
able nationwide. If you’re considering renting on your next vaca-
tion or even heading out for a weekend trip, we thoroughly recom-
mend the Prestige Collection. It makes any journey, either business
or leisure, that much more memorable. Just make sure you return
the car, no matter how much you fall in love with it. l
41 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
Treats for Tricks
A
CAREFULLY CURATED DIET WILL GO A
long way toward keeping your fuzzy best friend
with you for all the added romps and cuddles
a few extra years together will allow. Besides
managing your pet’s weight, a working understanding of
healthy ingredients and your companion’s nutritional needs is
an essential part of animal husbandry. Luckily, once the basics
are taken care of pet and owner alike get to have a little fun
with the formula.
Capitol Hill’s kibble emporium Howl to The Chief carries
a selection that makes Whole Foods look like Skip Church’s
Bistro. Howl’s selection is staggering. Baskin Robbins pales in
comparison.
Popular upscale brands such as Wellness and Halo sit aside
Dr. Bronner-esque niche labels like Earthborn Holistics. Howl
pets
by ZACK ROSEN
P
H
O
T
O
S

C
O
U
R
T
E
S
Y

D
O
G
G
Y

S
T
Y
L
E

B
A
K
E
R
Y
,

B
O
U
T
I
Q
U
E

&

P
E
T

S
P
A
It’s easy to sniff out a little
something special for
a pet’s palate
Canine takes the cake
42 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
also boasts an extensive collection of fresh and dehydrated
raw food.
Anyone who has watched their own weight, however, knows
that half the fun of a disciplined diet is the occasional safe
splurge. Your beloved howling Hodor is no different.
The Dupont Circle neighborhood’s 12-year institution Doggy
Style Bakery, Boutique & Pet Spa, a Washingtonian Magazine
best pet shop, is locally unparalleled in canine haute cuisine.
Their selection of homemade, healthy dog cakes and ice creams,
made respectively with peanut butter and frozen yogurt, will
have your dog hauling you up their front stairs every time you’re
in the neighborhood.
“The treats we make are more like bakery items,” says owner
Krista Heinz. “[We sell] stuff you couldn’t mass produce and
package. They have frosting on them, they’re hand-decorated.
The idea is that it’s fresh, it’s unique and cute.”
Heinz and her team are perhaps best known for their custom
cake decoration. Heinz’s creations have, for the last two years,
been featured on Animal Planet’s mega-popular Puppy Bowl.
One cake is created for each competing Super Bowl team and
the puppies collectively predict the winner through their eating
preference. They have chosen incorrectly so far, but Heinz attri-
butes that more to communication errors – the dogs are picking
the losing team, not winning – than any oracular deficits in the
participants.
Doggy Style doesn’t offer its own homemade cat treats, but
does sell feline-favorites like catnip and Bonita’s Fish Flakes,
which are made of exactly what they sound like. If you’d like to
feed your own fish something special without forcing cannibal-
ism, Silver Spring’s Tropical Lagoon aquarium store has plenty
of options.
Steve Maletzky, who has owned the store since 1983, says
that a few floated lettuce leaves or live plants like corkscrew
vallisneria can add variety to a goldfish’s diet and serve as a
time-release feeding mechanism while the human fish-friend is
traveling. Oscars and other large-mouthed cichlids will gladly
eat crickets, mealworms and live brine shrimp. The surprisingly
affectionate black ghost knifefish can be trained to eat blood-
worms from its owner’s hand. And Maletzky carries ’em all.
Tropical lagoon also has a resident parrot named Suzy who
enjoys grapes, apples and certain fish foods. Tank, a 25-year-old
tortoise with the bulk and laid-back expressiveness of basset
hound, prefers strawberries, mangoes and papaya, though he’s
nuts tomatoes.
“Anything red he goes crazy for,” shares Maletzky. “He
comes charging from the top of the yard to where you’re stand-
ing. He can move pretty quickly.”
Snake owners, forever under-represented, continue to get the
skinny end of the python when it comes to special snacks. Live
rats and mice can cause fatal injury to captive-bred snakes, and
no amount of frosting in the world can make defrosting a dead
one any easier.
For more information about various pet treats, visit Howl to The
Chief, 733 8th St. SE, 202-544-8710, howltothechief.com; Doggy
Style Bakery, Boutique & Pet Spa, 1825 18th St. NW, 202-667-0595,
doggiestylebakery.com; and Tropical Lagoon, 9431 Georgia Ave.,
Silver Spring, 301-585-6562, tropicallagoon.com. l
43 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014 43 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
Lola Vida and Mimi Reina (L-R)
“Both are the loves of my life. I met Lola at a restaurant were the former owner and I
had a conversation about my maltipoo that I lost some years ago. He told me he could
not care for her and greatly blessed me with her. Mimi and I met at a pet rescue fair.
She has a disability with her back leg, which is inoperative, but I love her anyway. They
are a delight to see every day I wake, to give me love, compassion and support.”
Sharon Ileina’s 5-year-old Maltipoo and Cockerpoo
P
e
t

P
i
x
P
e
t

P
i
x
Upload yours at MetroWeekly.com/pets
NIGHT
LIFE
45 METROWEEKLY.COM
t
THURS., 04.17.14
9 1/2
Happy Hour: 2 for 1 on any
drink, 5-9pm • Multiple
TVs showing movies,
shows, sports • Expanded
craft beer selection • No
cover
ANNIE’S/ANNIE’S
UPSTAIRS
4@4 Happy Hour,
4pm-7pm • $4 Small
Plates, $4 Stella Artois,
$4 House Wines, $4
Stolichnaya Cocktails, $4
Manhattans and Vodka
Martinis
FREDDIE’S BEACH BAR
Crazy Hour, 4-7pm •
Karaoke, 9pm
GREEN LANTERN
Shirtless Men Drink Free,
10-11pm
JR.’S
$3 Rail Vodka Highballs,
$2 JR.’s drafts, 8pm to
close • Top Pop Night
NELLIE’S SPORTS BAR
Beat The Clock Happy
Hour — $2 (5-6pm), $3
(6-7pm), $4 (7-8pm) •
Buckets of Beer $15 •
Drag Bingo
NUMBER NINE
Happy Hour: 2 for 1 on any
drink, 5-9pm • No Cover
ZIEGFELD’S/SECRETS
All male, nude dancers •
Shirtless Thursday • DJ
Tim E in Secrets • 9pm •
Cover 21+
FRI., 04.18.14
9 1/2
Open at 5pm • Happy
Hour: 2 for 1 on any drink,
5-9pm • Friday Night
Videos with resident
DJ Shea Van Horn • VJ
LISTINGS
46 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
Dancing • Beat The Clock
Happy Hour — $2 (5-6pm),
$3 (6-7pm), $4 (7-8pm) •
Buckets of Beer $15
NUMBER NINE
Open 5pm • Happy Hour:
2 for 1 on any drink, 5-9pm
• No Cover
PHASE 1
DJ Styalo • Dancing •
$5 cover
PW’S SPORTS BAR
9855 Washington Blvd. N
Laurel, Md.
301-498-4840
Drag Show in lounge •
Half-price burgers and
fries
TOWN
Drag Show starts at
10:30pm • Hosted by
Lena Lett and featuring
Tatianna, Shi-Queeta-
Lee, Jessica Spaulding
Deverreoux and Banaka •
Doors open at 10pm • For
those 21 and over, $5 from
10-11pm and $10 after
11pm • For those 18-20,
$10 all night • 18+
• Expanded craft beer
selection • No cover
ANNIE’S
4@4 Happy Hour, 4-7pm •
$4 Small Plates, $4 Stella
Artois, $4 House Wines,
$4 Stolichnaya Cocktails,
$4 Manhattans and Vodka
Martinis • Upstairs open
5-11pm
DC BEAR CRUE
@Town • Bear Happy
Hour, 6-11pm • $3 Rail,
$3 Draft, $3 Bud Bottles •
Free Pizza, 7pm • Hosted
by Charger Stone • No
cover before 9:30pm • 21+
FREDDIE’S BEACH BAR
Crazy Hour, 4-7pm •
Karaoke, 9pm
JR.’S
Buy 1, Get 1,
11pm-midnight • Happy
Hour: 2-for-1, 4-9pm • $5
Coronas, $8 Vodka Red
Bulls, 9pm-close
NELLIE’S SPORTS BAR
DJ Matt Bailer • Videos,
ZIEGFELD’S/SECRETS
All male, nude dancers
• Ladies of Illusion with
host Kristina Kelly, 9pm •
Cover 21+
SAT., 04.19.14
9 1/2
Open at 5pm • Happy
Hour: 2 for 1 on any drink,
5-9pm • $5 Absolut &
Tito’s, $3 Miller Lite after
9pm • Expanded craft
beer selection • No cover
FREDDIE’S BEACH BAR
Diner Brunch, 10am-3pm
• Crazy Hour, 4-7pm
• Karaoke and/or live
entertainment, 9pm
JR.’S
$4 Coors, $5 Vodka
highballs, $7 Vodka Red
Bulls
NELLIE’S
Guest DJs • Zing Zang
Bloody Marys, Nellie Beer,
House Rail Drinks and
Mimosas, $4, 11am-5pm •
Buckets of Beer, $15
NUMBER NINE
Pop Goes the World, with
Wesley Della Volla • 9:30
pm • Doors 5pm • Happy
Hour: 2 for 1 on any drink,
5-9pm • No Cover

PHASE 1
Dancing, 9pm-close
PW’S SPORTS BAR
9855 Washington Blvd. N
Laurel, Md.
301-498-4840
Karaoke in the lounge •
Charity Bingo with Cash
Prizes 3rd Sat. of Every
Month
TOWN
Town & Country, Country
and Western Dancing
with DC Rawhides •
Lessons 7-8pm, Dancing
to 10:30pm • 21+, $5 •
Star Whores: The Empire’s
Got Back with DJ Hector
Fonseca, 10pm • Drag
Show starts at 10:30pm
• DJ Wess • Hosted by
Lena Lett and featuring
Tatianna, Shi-Queeta-
Lee, Jessica Spaulding
Deverreoux and Banaka •
$8 from 10-11pm and $12
after 11pm • 21+
ZIEGFELD’S/SECRETS
All nude male dancers,
9pm • Ladies of Illusion
with host Ella Fitzgerald,
9pm • DJ Steve
Henderson in Secrets • DJ
Spyke in Ziegfelds • Doors
8pm • Cover • 21+
SUN., 04.20.14
9 1/2
Happy Hour: 2 for 1 on any
drink, 5-9pm • Multiple
TVs showing movies,
shows, sports • Expanded
craft beer selection • No
cover
FREDDIE’S BEACH BAR
Champagne Brunch
Buffet, 10am-3pm •
Crazy Hour, 4-8pm •
Drag Show hosted by
Destiny B. Childs featuring
performances by a rotating
cast, 9pm • No cover •
Karaoke follows show
JR.’S
Sunday Funday • Liquid
Brunch • Doors open at
1pm • $2 Coors Lights &
$3 Skyy (all favors), all
day and night
NELLIE’S
Drag Brunch, hosted by
Shi-Queeta-Lee, 11am-3pm
• $20 Brunch Buffet •
House Rail Drinks, Zing
Zang Bloody Marys, Nellie
Beer and Mimosas, $4,
11am-close • Buckets of
Beer, $15
NUMBER NINE
Happy Hour: 2 for 1 on any
drink, 5-9pm • No Cover
ZIEGFELD’S/SECRETS
All male, nude dancers •
Decades of Dance • DJ
Tim-e in Secrets • Doors
8pm • Cover 21+
MON., 04.21.14
9 1/2
Open at 5pm • Happy
Hour: 2 for 1 on any drink,
47
t
METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
scene
scan this tag
with your
smartphone
for bonus scene
pics online!
Countdown to Yuri’s Night
Saturday, April 12
Anacostia Arts Center
PHOTOGRAPHY BY
WARD MORRISON
5-9pm • Multiple TVs
showing movies, shows,
sports • Expanded craft
beer selection • No cover
ANNIE’S
4@4 Happy Hour, 4-7pm •
$4 Small Plates, $4 Stella
Artois, $4 House Wines,
$4 Stolichnaya Cocktails,
$4 Manhattans and Vodka
Martinis
FREDDIE’S
Crazy Hour, 4-7pm •
Karaoke, 9pm
JR.’S
Happy Hour: 2-for-1, 4-9pm
• Showtunes Songs &
Singalongs, 9pm-close •
DJ Jamez • $3 Drafts
NELLIE’S SPORTS BAR
Beat The Clock Happy
Hour — $2 (5-6pm), $3
(6-7pm), $4 (7-8pm) •
Buckets of Beer $15 •
Poker Texas Hold’em, 8pm
NUMBER NINE
Open 5pm • Happy Hour:
2 for 1 on any drink, 5-9pm
• No Cover
PW’S SPORTS BAR
9855 Washington Blvd. N
Laurel, Md.
301-498-4840
Buzztime Trivia
competition • 75 cents off
bottles and drafts
TUES., 04.22.14
9 1/2
Open at 5pm • Happy
Hour: 2 for 1 on any drink,
5-9pm • Multiple TVs
showing movies, shows,
sports • Expanded craft
beer selection • No cover
ANNIE’S
Happy Hour, 4-7pm • $4
Stella Artois, $4 House
Wines, $4 Stolichnaya
Cocktails, $4 Manhattans
and Vodka Martinis
FREDDIE’S BEACH BAR
Crazy Hour, 4-7pm •
Karaoke, 9pm
JR.’S
Underground (Indie Pop/
Alt/Brit Rock), 9pm-close
• DJ Wes Della Volla •
2-for-1, all day and night
NELLIE’S SPORTS BAR
Beat The Clock Happy
Hour — $2 (5-6pm), $3
(6-7pm), $4 (7-8pm) •
Buckets of Beer $15 •
Karaoke
NUMBER NINE
Open 5pm • Happy Hour:
2 for 1 on any drink, 5-9pm
• No Cover
PW’S SPORTS BAR
9855 Washington Blvd. N
Laurel, Md.
301-498-4840
75 cents off bottles and
drafts • Movie Night
WED., 04.23.14
9 1/2
Habibi: A Gay Middle
Eastern Party, 9pm • Open
at 5pm • Happy Hour: 2
for 1 on any drink, 5-9pm
48 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
49 PURCHASE YOUR PHOTO AT WWW.METROWEEKLY.COM/SCENE/
50 SEE PHOTOS FROM THIS EVENT AT WWW.METROWEEKLY.COM/SCENE
• Multiple TVs showing
movies, shows, sports
• Expanded craft beer
selection • No cover
ANNIE’S
Happy Hour, 4-7pm • $4
Stella Artois, $4 House
Wines, $4 Stolichnaya
Cocktails, $4 Manhattans
and Vodka Martinis
FREDDIE’S BEACH BAR
Crazy Hour, 4-7pm • Drag
Bingo, 8pm • Karaoke,
10pm
GREEN LANTERN
Happy Hour Prices,
4pm-Close
JR.’S
Trivia with MC Jay
Ray, 8pm • The Queen,
10-11pm • $2 JR’s Drafts
& $4 Vodka ($2 with
College I.D./JR’s Team
Shirt)
NELLIE’S SPORTS BAR
Beat The Clock Happy
Hour — $2 (5-6pm), $3
(6-7pm), $4 (7-8pm) •
Half-Price Burger Night
• Buckets of Beer $15 •
SmartAss Trivia, 8pm
NUMBER NINE
Open 5pm • Happy Hour:
2 for 1 on any drink, 5-9pm
• No Cover
PW’S SPORTS BAR
9855 Washington Blvd. N
Laurel, Md.
301-498-4840
Free Pool • 75 cents off
Bottles and Drafts
ZIEGFELD’S/SECRETS
All male, nude dancers •
New Meat Wednesday DJ
Don T • 9pm • Cover 21+
THURS., 04.24.14
9 1/2
Happy Hour: 2 for 1 on any
drink, 5-9pm • Multiple
TVs showing movies,
shows, sports • Expanded
craft beer selection • No
cover
ANNIE’S/ANNIE’S
UPSTAIRS
4@4 Happy Hour,
4pm-7pm • $4 Small
Plates, $4 Stella Artois,
$4 House Wines, $4
Stolichnaya Cocktails, $4
Manhattans and Vodka
Martinis
FREDDIE’S BEACH BAR
Crazy Hour, 4-7pm •
Karaoke, 9pm
GREEN LANTERN
Shirtless Men Drink Free,
10-11pm
JR.’S
$3 Rail Vodka Highballs,
$2 JR.’s drafts, 8pm to
close • Top Pop Night
NELLIE’S SPORTS BAR
Beat The Clock Happy
Hour — $2 (5-6pm), $3
(6-7pm), $4 (7-8pm) •
Buckets of Beer $15 •
Drag Bingo
51 METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
NUMBER NINE
Happy Hour: 2 for 1 on any
drink, 5-9pm • No Cover
ZIEGFELD’S/SECRETS
All male, nude dancers •
Shirtless Thursday • DJ
Tim E in Secrets • 9pm •
Cover 21+
FRI., 04.25.14
9 1/2
Open at 5pm • Happy
Hour: 2 for 1 on any drink,
5-9pm • Friday Night
Videos with resident
DJ Shea Van Horn • VJ
• Expanded craft beer
selection • No cover
ANNIE’S
4@4 Happy Hour, 4-7pm •
$4 Small Plates, $4 Stella
Artois, $4 House Wines,
$4 Stolichnaya Cocktails,
$4 Manhattans and Vodka
Martinis • Upstairs open
5-11pm
DC BEAR CRUE
@Town • Bear Happy
Hour, 6-11pm • $3 Rail,
$3 Draft, $3 Bud Bottles •
Free Pizza, 7pm • Hosted
by Charger Stone • No
cover before 9:30pm • 21+
FREDDIE’S BEACH BAR
Crazy Hour, 4-7pm •
Karaoke, 9pm
JR.’S
Buy 1, Get 1,
11pm-midnight • Happy
Hour: 2-for-1, 4-9pm • $5
Coronas, $8 Vodka Red
Bulls, 9pm-close
NELLIE’S SPORTS BAR
DJ Matt Bailer • Videos,
Dancing • Beat The Clock
Happy Hour — $2 (5-6pm),
$3 (6-7pm), $4 (7-8pm) •
Buckets of Beer $15
NUMBER NINE
Open 5pm • Happy Hour:
2 for 1 on any drink, 5-9pm
• No Cover
PHASE 1
DJ Styalo • Dancing •
$5 cover
PW’S SPORTS BAR
9855 Washington Blvd. N
Laurel, Md.
301-498-4840
Drag Show in lounge •
Half-price burgers and
fries
TOWN
Drag Show starts at
10:30pm • Hosted by
Lena Lett and featuring
Tatianna, Shi-Queeta-
Lee, Jessica Spaulding
Deverreoux and Banaka •
Doors open at 10pm • For
those 21 and over, $5 from
10-11pm and $10 after
11pm • For those 18-20,
$10 all night • 18+
ZIEGFELD’S/SECRETS
All male, nude dancers
• Ladies of Illusion with
host Kristina Kelly, 9pm •
Cover 21+ l
52 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM
W
HERE HAVE ALL
the cowboys
gone?
Would you believe, Paula
Cole, to Town? In fact, this
Saturday, Town welcomes
cowboys, drag queens and
geeks – oh, my!
“I’m hoping that people
in the local community will
realize that LGBT country
dancers are alive and well,”
says Cullen Ruff, a mem-
ber of the DC Rawhides.
After a couple years in the
church hall at Dupont Circle’s
Church of the Pilgrims, this
country-western dance group
christens the large second
floor of Town Danceboutique
as its new home, every other
week starting this Saturday,
April 19. It’ll also be the first
Saturday since the closure
of Remingtons, D.C.’s long-
standing LGBT country-west-
ern venue that had fallen
on hard times. “When
Remingtons was drawing
bigger crowds,” Ruff recalls
fondly, “it was a popular
place not only for the danc-
ing, but for meeting people
in a setting where you felt
like you could talk to peo-
ple. Very relaxed. You didn’t
find a lot of attitude there.”
The DC Rawhides aim
to continue that tradition at
Town with a party dubbed
Town & Country. The hoe-
down starts with dance
lessons at 7 p.m., then runs
through to 10:30 when the
second floor transitions
from mostly country music
to Town’s regular EDM/club
music and dancing that’s
a bit more individual and
freestyle.
“I think it will appeal to
a broader range of people,
even people who don’t
think they like country
music,” Ruff says of Town
& Country. He notes that
about a quarter of the
music played will be pop/
club hits, to accompany
some of the choreographed
line dances and even a few
couples dances. “The thing
about social dancing,” he
says, “is that there’s much
more of a camaraderie
with this than your average
disco or club-type dancing.
You connect with people
more.”
There’s plenty more,
however, to top this Sat-
urday at Town. Starting at
10:30 p.m., both floors will
serve as a themed party
inspired by Awesome-
Con, the annual event at
the Washington Conven-
tion Center that draws in
science fiction, fantasy and
comic lovers by the thou-
sands. Town is calling this
night devoted to cheeky
geekdom “Star Whores: The
Empire’s Got Back.”
“There are a few official
after-parties during Awesome-
Con at straight clubs,” says
Town’s Ed Bailey. “But as far
as I know, we’re the only gay
place that’s even kind of rec-
ognizing that it’s going on.”
Town & Country is Saturday,
April 19, with lessons start-
ing at 7 p.m., then dancing
until 10:30 p.m., when Star
Whores takes over at Town
Danceboutique, 2009 8th
NW. Cover is $5 for the
whole night including Town &
Country, or $8 10 to 11 p.m.,
$12 after. 21 and older. Call
202-234-TOWN or visit
towndc.com. l
B
Y

D
O
U
G

R
U
L
E
C
L
U
B
L
I
F
E
S
53
Town’s Saturday special welcomes cowboys, drag queens and sci-fi geeks
METROWEEKLY.COM APRIL 17, 2014
Trigger Meets Tatooine

Furthermore,
we are removing the ‘You’ve got she-mail’ intro
from new episodes of the series.

— LOGO TV, in a statement sent to the Huffington Post. RuPaul’s Drag Race will cease using the terms “she-mail” and “shemale”
following backlash from members of the transgender community over a segment titled “Female or She-male,” in which contestants
had to identify if a photo was a cisgender (meaning one who identifies as their assigned birth gender)
woman or a “Drag Race” contestant.
(Huffington Post)

The record before the Court … is staggeringly
devoid of any legitimate justification for the State’s ongoing
arbitrary discrimination
on the basis of sexual orientation.

— U.S. District Court Judge TIMOTHY BLACK, in an April 14 ruling declaring Ohio’s 2004 ban on same-sex marriage to
be unconstitutional. In December of last year, Black ruled that Ohio must recognize legally married same-sex couples for
the purpose of death certificates.
(Metro Weekly)

Sometimes there’s a stigma attached to how
people view you if you’re living a certain way. But I don’t care — you gotta live your life.
You gotta find what happiness is and
what it means for you.”
— ROBIN ROBERTS, co-host of Good Morning America, addressing the reactions she received after coming out at the end of last
year. Roberts disclosed her 10-year relationship with her girlfriend after her recovery from myelodysplastic syndromes.
(Good Housekeeping)
“His emphatically masculine homoerotic drawings
have attained iconic status
in their genre and had an influence on, for instance, pop culture and fashion.

— ITELLA, the Finnish postal service, announcing that renowned artist Tom of Finland (Touko Laaksonen), will have his art
immortalized on a series of stamps. The stamps featuring Laaksonen’s iconic images, which influenced the style of
the Village People and Freddie Mercury, will launch this fall.
(Itella)

Before Russian occupation it was really complicated to be a gay in Ukraine, that’s why I’m still in a closet and feel trapped.
Now it’s absolutely unbearable.”
— MAXIM KORNILOV, an anti-referendum demonstrator living in Crimea, in an email to NBC News. Russia’s law banning gay
propaganda has taken effect, with authorities banning a Pride march scheduled for April 22-23 in Sevastopol.
(NBC News)
54 APRIL 17, 2014 METROWEEKLY.COM

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