Once, when I was pregnant: *finish with your own pregnancy confession*
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Posted 9/20/2005 by Sharlag in NSBR Board
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amesv
can't we all just get
along?
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Posted: 9/21/2005 1:03:28 PM
no morning sickness or pee accidents........hmmm.....
The Iam's dog food commercial (where the dog and the little girl grow up together and
at the end the dog can't run up the stairs anymore) made me sob.
My best friend was pg too and we worked in the same office. Our mutual assistant was a
young, sickeningly skinny, single girl. Every time one of us dropped something, we
made her come and get it for us.
A local school sold these little reusable coupon cards for a fundraiser. Lots of local
resturaunts and stores gave special deals to help the school. A local deli had a buy 1 get
1 free deal and they delivered. The cards were supposed to say "not valid on delivery"
but since they didn't, the deli felt they had to honor them. My pg friend and I would
order lunch from there at least 2 or 3 times a week because we were too lazy to go out
Locked
(hey, it was summer....and HOT!). The deli owner must have HATED us
Amy
lilbug13
Pea'in in the
SUNSHINE
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Posted: 9/21/2005 1:04:13 PM
Even better than the freezer is when it would snow! I would go outside and
eat the snow right off the deck railing and the grill cover. If you looked
closely you could see mouthshaped divots in the snow. Sometimes I used a
spoon, but mostly I just leaned over and ate it, handsfree!
I would love to have seen that!
HazyPea
PeaAddict
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Posted: 9/21/2005 1:13:54 PM
Once when I was pregnant, I was putting away breakfast. I put the cereal box in the
refrig and the milk in the cupboard. I couldn't figure out the terrible smell later on.
I am so glad to hear I am not the only one who would engulf food (for me it was Arby's
roast beef sandwiches), throw up, and then proceed to eat them again, within minutes.
The first time I was pregnant I wanted to be "perfect" and do everything RIGHT uh
huh...anyways I thought I wasn't getting enough folic acid and iron, so I decided to cook
a pot full of spinach and eat it. Well I ate it, but it didn't stay down.
Interestingly any "green" food made me vomit with that pregnany. Ironically the ds I
was pregnant with still won't eat anything "green".
luckydolll
BucketHead
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February 2004
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Posted: 9/21/2005 1:15:36 PM
Heres mine..
pregnant wit thhe twins, Very VERY morning sick, stuck on a 4.5 hr flight to Omaha with
2 unsupervised minors in the seats behind me. Can you see it comin??????
Yah, they screamed called each other names ("hoser" was thier favorite), got into
marker fights and kicked my chair the entire trip. I was about ready to vimit 'cause I
was so morningsick.
I finally got so mad and sick that I stood up, turned around and yelled (loud) at them
that I was sick I needed to throw up, and if I heard one more peep or felt one more
kick, I would throw up on THEM! The entire plane applauded, and the kids were relativly
quiet the rest of the flight.
paulah96
PeaFixture
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Posted: 9/21/2005 1:23:18 PM
oh my gosh, these are all so funny! I needed the laugh to make up for my horrible day.
I have never been pregnant but now I have something to be afraid of, I mean to look
forward to.
Pea Whizz
PeaAddict
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June 2005
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Posted: 9/21/2005 1:29:50 PM
When I was PG with DS, 15 years ago, DH was out of town for a week, so my sister
came to prenatal class with me.
The last 15 mins of the class was laying on mats in the dark listening to nature sounds
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and meditating.
Sis, started to laugh for no reason and made me laugh, then I let out a huge, ratatat
tat machinegun fart for at least 10 seconds, and then we rolled around on the floor
hysterically laughing, crying and even snorting.
The lights came on and everyone one else was sitting up staring at us with a disgusted
look.
We howled all the way home.
twinzmommee
StuckOnPeas
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May 2004
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Posted: 9/21/2005 1:30:45 PM
This is the funniest thing that I have read in a long time! I have been trying to contain
my laughter b/c my dds are asleep in the living room!
My pg stories are along the lines of everyone else's.
I loved pickle juice. I would buy jars of pickle chips and drink the juice to settle my
tummy.
I hated the smell of peanut butter. It was bad enough to make me puke. Dh worked
early mornings and would want me to make him a pb&j...he knew it would make me
sick but he still wanted me to do it for him! He would even tease me about eating pb!
I nearly walked out of my house one day to go shopping with my mom wearing a pair of
dh's boxer shorts. My dm kept looking at me and she finally said, "Honey, are you going
to put some pants on?" I thought she was crazy until I realized what I had on!
SharlaG
Kingpin of something
undisclosed, but
important
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Posted: 9/21/2005 1:41:13 PM
ratatattat machinegun fart
I'm weirdly impressed with your apt description of this particular flatulence.
Haf2Scrap
BucketHead
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Posted: 9/21/2005 1:41:40 PM
Once when I was pregnant...
I worked at a chiropractic college with a clinic on campus. During one of my
adjustments, I was laying on my side and he made me put my knee up toward my chest
and my chin down. Well, that was all it took. As soon as he adjusted my spine, I farted.
We both laughed hysterically.
AngelJunkie
You Wanna Peas of
Me?
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Enjoying the View
Posted: 9/21/2005 1:57:24 PM
I was trying to get out of the back seat of a car (no, this is NOT where I got pregnant
). It was an older 2door where you have push the front seat up and lean to get out.
Anyway, I was halfway out and got stuck in the "hunched" position with my back against
the doorframe and my knee pressed into my stomach! I had to sit back down to try
again.
57suzi
PeaFixture
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April 2004
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Posted: 9/21/2005 2:00:07 PM
I discovered that some vegetables had gone bad in the crisper. I couldn't face them w/o
getting sick, so I took the whole vegetable drawer out of the fridge and left it on the
back porch. It stayed there all winter, until I'd had the baby and could face cleaning it.
Before we even knew we were PG with the first, DH and I had dinner at his parents.
They watched Little House On the Prairie, and it was the one where the Blind School
burned down, and the girl was crying uncontrollably because her baby was inside.I
started bawling and couldn't stop, his family thought I was nuts, we'd only been married
like 3 weeks. I'm starting to cry right now just thinkning about that episode, I've been
afraid to watch LHOTP ever since, and it's been 25 years.
scrappylicious
All we are saying is
give PEAS a chance
PeaNut 116,311
November 2003
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Posted: 9/21/2005 2:00:42 PM
I argued and screamed at my husband on the phone because he was not listening and he
did not let me talk to find out I was actually in the middle of checking my messages.
I also drove around in a panic, on empty, to finally find a gas station. I paid for the gas
and then drove off without filling it.
amythyst
someone pass the
crayons!
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Posted: 9/21/2005 2:03:39 PM
OMG!!! with the week that the NSBR board has been having we SOOOOOO needed a roll
on the floor/make your coworkers look in the door/laugh so hard you cry thread!!
mine is tame compared to these in my classroom, one week before i'm due i sneezed
(5th grade in the room at the time) figured i wet my pants because there was "wet" so i
sat down at my chair for the next 10 minutes til they were suppose to leave my room
and thought i'd survey the damage when i could head to the bathroom. 10 minutes go by
i stand to dismiss them and WHOOSH yup, water breaks on my linoleum floor. so i
sit back down and ask the last student in line to take a little note to the nurse telling her
"my water broke"
you've never seen an elementary school nurse look more stressed!
turns out the 5th graders didn't even notice or think anything about it and the nurse
thought she was going to have to deliver the baby in the room.
when i called my hubby the first brillant thing he said was "no sh*t?" like i'd be LYING
LOL
Posted: 9/21/2005 2:05:05 PM
huskergal
Shameless Husker
Fan
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I have tears running down my face.
jrenae
Doing strange things
in the name of Art
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AZ
Posted: 11/24/2005 8:28:13 PM
CheriV: We share the "puking in a trash can in public" experience!
Georgiapea
Mom to the Wild
Things.
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Posted: 11/24/2005 8:32:46 PM
Once when I was pregnant I nearly hit a man in a crowded elevator. I thought he was
reaching behind him and groping me. It was the baby starting to move, 1st pregnancy &
I wasn't used to it yet. I was still trying to decide if verbal or physical attack would
serve me best when he moved forward and it happened again. Phew!
Georgiapea
scraps4conner
BucketHead
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Posted: 11/24/2005 8:40:41 PM
Once, no twice, ok make that three times I overflowed the kitchen sink while filling it up
to wash dishes . I would walk away to fold laundry or something and completely
forget that I had water running. Three times.
CheriV Posted: 11/24/2005 8:48:27 PM
AncestralPea
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jhenrich: quite a lovely experience, eh? I was pregnant with twins at the time, so I was
large. The sight of me running, full sprint while covering my mouth and nose, made
several pedestrians gasp in horror.
Cheri
favfourcrew
ellipsis... posse...
leader...
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from insanity...
Posted: 11/24/2005 8:48:59 PM
i drank a bottle of apple cider vinegar and got sooooo sick..
Angela Green
I'm a Toilet Paper Pea.
Are you?
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Posted: 11/24/2005 9:46:54 PM
When I was pregnant I was very flighty (much moreso than normal! lol) I was standing
in the kitchen, rearranging frozen foods in the freezer to make the TOASTER fit into the
freezer.
deesart
PeaFixture
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Posted: 11/24/2005 10:03:30 PM
Once when I was pregnant...I spent a whole afternoon munching on fresh strawberries.
Smiles,
Dee
Posted: 11/24/2005 10:12:24 PM
When I was pregnant I was very flighty (much moreso than normal! lol) I
was standing in the kitchen, rearranging frozen foods in the freezer to make
the TOASTER fit into the freezer.
Hootie McBoob
...trying to see past
the twins...
PeaNut 53,458
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Indianapolis
LOL...I love all these stories. That's something I'd do normally. I've put dirty plates in
the freezer.
4everDaltonsMommy
PeaAddict
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there.....
Posted: 11/24/2005 10:16:06 PM
Mine isn't about puking or peeing in my pants but I think it's pretty good.
Once, when I was pregnant I threatened to slice DH from his groin to his ear! He was
feeling frisky one night and started to rub my lower back. I WAS NOT in the mood after
working 12 hrs (on my feet) and having to go back to work within 9 hrs. I told him to
knock it off, but he kept rubbing and tried to squeeze my butt. I jumped out of bed run
to the kitchen, grabbed a butter knife and went back to bed. I turned the light on and
asked him how much he valued his life! He just looked at me with huge fearful eyes!!!
He never touched me after work again!
Jen
wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack sniffer!
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Posted: 11/25/2005 12:12:31 AM
BTT since someone is looking for it.
GypsyWagon
BucketHead
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Posted: 11/25/2005 1:07:52 AM
I ate an entire watermelon in one sitting...of course I looked like I swallowed it whole!
catholicone
StuckOnPeas
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Posted: 11/25/2005 7:41:15 AM
Oh my gosh, I read this thread last night in bed while dh was sleeping and I was trying
to laugh silently but I kept shaking the bed from laughing so hard!!! I had tears
streaming down my face.
karynsig
no whining
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Posted: 11/25/2005 8:19:58 AM
Once, when I was pregnant and about 2 weeks from giving birth, I was walking home
from a meeting and I was wearing steeltoed work boots...I couldn't see my feet
because my belly and coat were so big and my toe hit a pothole and I somersaulted into
the road. Fortunately, even though it was the busiest road on base, it wasn't very busy,
but I couldn't believe no one stopped.
More fortunately, everything was OK. My knees, elbows and hands were scraped up and
bleeding but you sacrifice what you have to so your belly stays safe.
cdnstorelady
Ancient Ancestor of
Pea
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Posted: 11/25/2005 9:13:46 AM
I'm not a crier I don't cry at movies, songs, long distance ads but when I was
pregnant, I was tearing up all the time it was very disconcerting. The worst was when
I was about 8 months pg and I had to pull the car over to the side of the road because I
was crying so hard I couldn't see to drive the song? Stevie Wonder's "Isn't she lovely"
about when his daughter was born.
jrenae
Doing strange things
in the name of Art
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Posted: 11/25/2005 10:36:43 AM
(Crying story)
I remember it was just days before my first was born. It was August in the Phoenix area
(so the AC was cranked to the low 70's) and I was a beached whale on the couch
watching an episode of Designing Women on Lifetime. It was the episode when Charlene
had her baby, and the episide had the song "Somwhere Out There" (Linda Ronstandt)
was playing and her husband Bill who was in the Air Force when he got the message
over the radio that he just had a baby girl. I had seen that episode a hundred thousand
times, but I just lost it. I was about to have a baby girl too, and the way the episode
presented it, was just too much for me. I don't even like that song! (Somewhere Out
There)
Then it went to commerical and it was a commerical with Rod Stewart's "Forever Young"
along to a commerical just showing mommy animals and their babies. You know, a baby
giraffe running behind a mommy giraffe, etc etc. OMIGOSH....my already bawling went
to sheer hyperventating sobs.
(By the way, it was a Pampers Commerical....even though animals don't wear diapers,
but I get the connection with the animals and the song)
Posted: 11/25/2005 10:50:40 AM
Oh, I forgot a story. One time when I was pg, I was working w/ a client w/ dev.
wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack sniffer!
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disabilities. We were at the library, and she was upset that it was time to get off the
computer. As I was trying to get her away, she pinched my breast and punched me in
the stomach. My manager had to come and help calm my client down, and I ended up
going home early because I couldn't stop crying.
I cried a lot when I was pg. Fortunately my manager was a woman, so she could sort of
understand why I was a mess all the time.
Pea Whizz
PeaAddict
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Posted: 11/25/2005 10:52:27 AM
When I was PG with my 2nd child:
Phil Donahue had a show where an older man needed a heart transplant and his
youngest daughter was killed in a car crash so they gave him HER heart.
One of the sisters wrote a poem for the mom that said something like:
"When you're sad and know I'm gone
Lay your hand on Daddy's chest
And feel me beating on"
OMG I was a blubbering mess for the whole day. I literally cried for hours.
What a bittersweet story, I still get choked up. (sniff)
Woogie_G
PeaAddict
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Posted: 11/25/2005 11:35:28 AM
I decided a chuck roast was a steak and ate the whole thing by myself.
CheriV
AncestralPea
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Posted: 11/25/2005 11:50:06 AM
I love this thread and have read the whole thing! I have another to share:
Once, while I was pregnant, I missed a curb and fell face first onto the pavement in
Times Square. The group of strangers in front of me sorta "fanned out" to give me room
to fall no one tried to catch me. (I was just a few weeks pregnant but was with a
group of girlfriends who knew and were walking alongside me and behind me. One of
them turned to the others and said, "Yep. She's pregnant!" LOL
Cheri
Posted: 11/25/2005 12:20:35 PM
I am pregnant right now but nothing too terribly embarrassing thus far.. sooo..
When I was pregnant with my son (like 7 months) my mother in law took me and my
Redhead_Brandi.
Slowly Peaing again
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daughter to toys R us (to buy dd some toys and they new baby some gifts). I had to pee
really bad so I went into the bathroom there. Another woman was in there taking care of
some serious business, it smelled so bad and she was adding LOUD pushing sound
effects to boot. I had to get out of there or I was gonna get sick, so I ran out, didn't
even pee and headed back to find dd and mother in law. I find them and they are in the
my little pony/rainbow bright section right near a main aisle. I guess I had a look on my
face because my mother in law asked what was wrong. I start to explain it to her and
get so grossed out by the flash back that I proceed to vomit in that aisle (all the ponies
smiling at me too). People are walking by, slowing down and staring, and I just could
not stop. Finally I did and someone says they will get an employee. I am still bent over
because I feel still sick, but people are still just standing around watching. I start to
think to myself this couldn't be any more embarrassing but my MIL notices I have throw
up all on my face so she pulls out a sanitary pad (yes really) opens it up and hand it to
me to wipe my face off! I laughed so hard I then pee my pants!
wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack sniffer!
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Posted: 11/25/2005 12:47:34 PM
Awww, Brandi. That's hilarious. Especially the part where all the ponies are smiling at
you .
jrenae
Doing strange things
in the name of Art
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Posted: 11/25/2005 1:07:42 PM
OMG! Brandi's story just reminded me of another one! I was 4 mos pregnant with my
first and thought I was done being sick, but I guess I wasn't. I was at Michaels thinking I
was going to be crafty, but I had to go to the bathroom and there was an old lady in
there making burping noises while she was in the stall. I don't even want to know what
her other end was doing with the burps. But I got sick, but didn't think I was going to
throw up. I was able to finish my business, but I got the hell out of there. As I went back
to the where I was shopping, I suddenly felt REALLY sick, and when I walked back to the
aisle I was in, there was a rush of cinnamon poupouri scent that made it worse (that
was 6 years ago and I can't stand cinnamon pp ever since....). So I knew I had to go
outside and throw up. I wasn't sure I was going to make it. As I rushed out of there, I
heard a newborn baby crying and then I found myself having an anxiety attack on top of
neeing to throw up (klind of like, OMG! I'm going to have a baby! And it's going to cry!
...king of thing). I went outside and threw up in a trash can just as three women were
approaching. (That was the second public trash can incident of that pregnancy).
moodyonceamonth
PeaAddict
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Posted: 11/25/2005 8:02:56 PM
OK...I don't remember doing anything horribly irrational during pregnancy, but when I
was in labor, my dh had to go outside to move the car. He had to reenter the hospital
through the ER since it was after hours, and when he came back up to the labor room,
he had this sticker on that said "VISITOR."
I asked why he had that sticker...he explained that the security guard had given it to
him....
Me: "But you're not a visitor, you're the father."
Him: "Honey, it's just a sticker."
Me: "DAMMIT, YOU'RE NOT A VISITOR, YOU'RE THE FATHER. TAKE IT OFF!!"
Him: "Honey, you're being silly...it's just a sticker. I don't need to take it off."
Me: "I SAID TAKE IT OFF!"
I was seriously screaming at him and in tears at this point...and I reached out and
ripped it right off his shirt.
My logic? I felt that if the nurses and doctors saw him with that sticker on, they wouldn't
know he was the father and would think he was just some random guy who was with
me!
lilbug13
Pea'in in the
SUNSHINE
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Posted: 11/25/2005 8:05:34 PM
This is seriously the best thread ever!
kels228
Mommy to my brave
peanut, my princess &
my prince!
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Posted: 11/25/2005 8:13:27 PM
Once, when I was pregnant....DH and I ate at a pancake house for breakfast. We got up,
paid the cashier, and walked out the door....where I promptly vomited all over the
entryway.
It wasn't so great for advertising the pancake house, I guess, because 2 different groups
of people who were heading INTO the restaurant turned around and went back to their
cars and drove off!
And much to my DH's embarrassment, I snapped a quick picture of the scene for
scrapbooking reasons. I thought I had just taken a picture of the building and front
entryway but NOT the vomit, but when I got the picture back you can see all the vomit
in it LOL.
Eiffel 65
BucketHead
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Posted: 11/25/2005 8:28:07 PM
I went to a halloween costume party as a pregnant nun, and someone actually asked me
what I had under my robe to make it look so realistic! Thier look was classic when I
replied a baby!!
Memories in Blooms
PeaNut
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Posted: 11/25/2005 10:57:00 PM
These posts are so stinkin' funny I cry and laugh kind of hysterically when I read them
and Dh says it makes him scared Har har and he asked if he could have some
warning next time I open this message up?!
When I was pregnat with DS2 we were remodeling I cried so much that the contractor
quit I went to his house to try and get him to come back and he wasn't home yet
when he did arrive home, he found his wife and I were sitting in his kitchen ~ SOBBING
I thought he was going to have a nervous breakdown his wife kept telling him he
better get over to my house (in between sobs) and get the job done NOW Needless to
say our house was done before the baby came DS is now 7, this year I told the
contracor that we want to build a new garage and he said he was really booked with
jobs and it would be a while I said jokingly "ok, i'll stop by and talk to your wife, and
he said "Lady you stay away from my wife" Ha Ha Ha
frankcassiesmom
PeaAddict
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Posted: 11/25/2005 11:41:42 PM
I got so mad at hubby I threw a baked sweet potato at him across the room, missed and
it splattered EVERYWHERE! When we moved out of there I found spots I had missed that
were hiding.
jrenae
Doing strange things
in the name of Art
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Posted: 11/26/2005 1:53:53 AM
(Tired husband story)
I went into labor with my son (2nd baby) officially at 3am, but my husband had been up
all night with me and my painful contractions (that for the last 12 weeks had been pre
labor ones, but they were really bad!). So around 3am when he finally started to doze
off, I said, "I think we need to go to the hospital. The contractions changed. They moved
to my back. They've never done that before. I was pretty sure it was the real thing. My
first baby was no help because she was an induction and the epidural worked great! My
husband tried to convince we they weren't real, because he wanted to sleep. Well, I let
him doze a little while I packed some stuff and got our daughter up, but then I woke him
up tp tell him I was going to the hospital with or without him. He made the right
choice.
Well, to make a long story short, my husband had no sleep that night. We got to the
hospital around 4amish and I had my son a little after 10am. After the fact, I sent my
husband out to get me some shrimp and an egg roll. Well, he was so tired, he locked
the keys in the car at a conveniance store after picking up the food at the Chinese place.
His cell phone was in the car too! Luckily his dad's house was about a half mile from
that location, so he walked to his dad's and hoped he was home. He wasn't. My husband
had to break into his dad's house, and call his dad. His dad left wherever he was and
came to get him and took him back to the hospital. And my husband fell asleep on his
dad's couch while waiting for his dad to get there.
By now I felt really neglected. I had no idea where my husband had dissapeared to. He
was gone for over two hours! When he showed up, he was with his dad (which was
good, so his dad could see his new grandson). I said, "where's my food?" My husband
said, "In the car at the Circle K on Baseline and the 101." He explained that he came
back to get my keys, so they had to leave again so he could get into the car. By the
time he got back for good, I was moved to a postpartum room and he couldn't find me.
Sometimes it's not just the woman that comes out of the whole experience so
exhausted! Haha
jrenae
Doing strange things
in the name of Art
Posted: 11/26/2005 8:40:07 PM
My mom is here for Thanksgiving (she's leaving in the morning) and she read this whole
thread and was laughing like crazy! Let's not let it die yet!
PeaNut 94,583
July 2003
Posts: 23,541
Layouts: 87
Loc: "Oh, here go hell come"
AZ
h*pea*ing
Ancient Ancestor of
Pea
PeaNut 231,164
November 2005
Posts: 5,403
Layouts: 8
Loc: Midwest
Posted: 11/26/2005 9:35:53 PM
Ok, so this isn't once when I was pregnant, it's almost everyday that I was pregnant. I
had morning, afternoon and evening sickness. I can count on two hands the days that I
didn't throw up. Usually I was ok at work, one day I wasn't. Ended up retching in the
ladies room with people walking in and out AND peed my pants at the same time.
Another funny, but after I was back from maternity leave...I nursed my son, but pumped
at work. Well there wasn't an office or any other pivate space to pump in and I worked
in a cubicle. There were only a few of us working in that office at that time, all men of
course. We have a pretty good and sick relationship amongst all of us. Well to pump I
just hung a blanket over the "door" of my cube and turned the radio up a little so they
couldn't hear anything. One of the guys forgot and started talking to me. I turned so I
was talking to the blanket. Well he came over to my cube and looked over the blanket
to ask something else. I had my shirt up around my neck and doubling pumping. He
turned about 10 shades of red and apologized for days. It turned into a big joke between
all of us, but was still a little embarassing.
Heather
poohbear1029
BucketHead
PeaNut 66,277
February 2003
Posts: 581
Layouts: 41
Loc: Sumter, SC
Posted: 12/9/2005 11:09:46 PM
OKay i just spent an hour PIMP reading this...I have to BTT!!!
aerobigirl
Insert witty title here
PeaNut 8,771
December 2000
Posts: 9,250
Layouts: 787
Loc: Portland, OR
Posted: 12/10/2005 2:45:10 AM
I was sooooo tired I backed the car out of the garage without first opening the garage
door. It wasn't the scraping sound that stopped me, it was my dh on the garage stairs
yelling STOOOPPPPP!!!
ivfscrapper
StuckOnPeas
Posted: 12/10/2005 6:01:39 AM
Once, when I was pregnant, I was lecturing to my class (about 90 students) and right
smack in the middle of a sentence, I completely forgot what I was talking about.
Instantly, and for no apparent reason, my mind went totally blank and I just stopped
talking. I remember looking at my students' faces wondering why they were staring at
me like that. I couldn't even remember what class I was teaching, let alone what the
topic of the class was.
I think there are still students who are convinced that I was on drugs that day...
PeaNut 115,077
November 2003
Posts: 2,149
Layouts: 121
Loc: Florida
Alyse
AntuanetteScraps
PeaAddict
PeaNut 33,318
March 2002
Posts: 1,567
Layouts: 145
Loc: Orlando, FL
Posted: 12/10/2005 6:03:24 AM
Once, when I was pregnant, I shaved my head. No, wait. TWICE.
I blame it on the hormones.
monica8773
Deep in the heart of
Texas
PeaNut 188,192
January 2005
Posts: 9,426
Layouts: 11
Loc: Hee Haw Y'all!
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:36:47 PM
I know this is an old thread, but I never added this when it went around the first time...I
don't think.
Once (well the ONLY time) I was pregnant, I tried the drano test to determine if I was
having a girl or or a boy. Nevermind that I didn't get confirmation as to what color
meant what sex, I just thought I had heard the old wives tale and said to self, "self, that
sounds like a mighty fine idea". NOT so fine!! Got my drano...got me a cup. Got me a
plastic cup...YUP...it was a Saturday afternoon around 2:00 and my poor husband was
asleep. So I go to the guest bathroom, poor an ungodly amount of drano in the cup (as I
would soon learn) to cover the bottom of the cup. I then tinkled a little bit and patted
myself dry. Slid this big 42oz plastic cup in the toilet and continue to pee. All of the
sudden the cup begins to melt on me. Drano is bubbling and snapping everywhere and
the cup is melting from the bottom up. "HOLY SNIKES"...I am squatted over the toilet
hoovering with a wet bottom, a cup that is heating up and rapidly melting and a stinch
that YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE unless you smelled it for yourself. So I threw the cup in
the sink poored water on it, cleaned myself up, changed my undies and got no results.
All I got was a brown mess, a melted plastic cup and pee in my underwear!!
StephaniePlum
Halloween
Freak/Butterfly
chaser
PeaNut 183,523
January 2005
Posts: 11,221
Layouts: 481
Loc: Tennessee
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:58:20 PM
Once, when I was pregnant, I had a glass of wine in my 8th month. the kid turned out
fine
*luanne*
Laugh often...love
much
PeaNut 99,986
August 2003
Posts: 5,599
Layouts: 70
Loc: Wisconsin
Posted: 1/20/2006 5:45:11 PM
Once when I was pregnant, I knocked a kid over at sams club with my belly.
I didn't see him.
Luanne
Posted: 1/20/2006 5:48:15 PM
I did this more than once, but I would drive to the parking lot of the grocery store,
throw up in a cool whip container, quick run into the store because I knew I had 15 min
of feel good time before the next throw up bout hit me.
Luanne
*luanne*
Laugh often...love
much
PeaNut 99,986
August 2003
Posts: 5,599
Layouts: 70
Loc: Wisconsin
WannaPea
No Peas for you !
Come back one year!
PeaNut 151,172
June 2004
Posts: 26,982
Layouts: 175
Loc: In my PJ's
Posted: 1/20/2006 5:53:50 PM
I actually swelled out of my shoes at workcouldn't put them back onhad to go home.
sassyscrap
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 48,836
September 2002
Posts: 2,843
Layouts: 5
Loc: Dublin, CA
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:00:41 PM
I went out to stop a cat fight between my cat and some other two felines. Well when I
picked up my cat he was so worked up that he bit me on my wrist! I had to go to the
doctor for antibiotics the next day. DH was so mad at the cat that he wanted to get rid
of him. I cried the whole night and slept on the couch (where I was comfy) because I
didn't want my kitty to leave.
Meghan Dymock
PeaFixture
PeaNut 80,404
April 2003
Posts: 3,287
Layouts: 202
Loc: Utah
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:02:02 PM
Best topic ever!
I don't have any kids yet but I am keeping this in my BOS for when I do get pregnant.
This is just so funny.
Thanks ladies!!
Mom2Row
PeaAddict
PeaNut 24,124
November 2001
Posts: 1,331
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:58:16 PM
During my pregnancy, I craved green beans. SOOO much. And not just "any" green
beansCracker Barrel's green beans. By the end of my pg, every server, host & busboy
knew me, DH, my due date & the baby's name. They also knew what I wanteddidn't
Layouts: 32
bother giving me a menu.
Also, I wore DH's Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs because they were comfy.
I failed the glucose test the 1st time, so I had to go back for the 3 hour version. The old
bat in the waiting room with me asked when I was due. I told her December & she
proceeds to tell me that it's a horrible month to be born in. Then she asks what we're
naming the baby & I tell her "Rowan Samantha" and she berated me. I finally got up,
told her to shut her trap, ran out of the office crying and peeing the entire way to my
car. Then I had to go back the next day to finish the test.
Kymmi
Jeepers PEApers
PeaNut 125,534
January 2004
Posts: 2,204
Layouts: 14
Loc: The World is Quiet
Here
Posted: 1/20/2006 7:47:48 PM
Now this is 2P's at its finest! I haven't laughed so hard in ages.
BeckE Sue
PeaNut
PeaNut 223,918
September 2005
Posts: 256
Layouts: 11
Posted: 1/20/2006 8:15:35 PM
When I was 7mos pg dh and I went to eat at Outback. Before I became pg I had had a
couple of gallbladder attacks. Needless to say I didn't want to have one while pg so I
was careful to keep my fat intake down.
When the waiter came over I ordered my grilled chicken, dry baked potato and salad
with fat free salad dressing...
What?, you don't have fat free or low fat salad dressing? No, ma'am, I'm sorry we don't.
I burst out into tears, sobbing, boohooing tears. Poor kid didn't know what to do or say.
He ended up getting the mgr. My dh made up some dumb story to tell him to help me
save face and not be so embarassed because they didn't have the right salad dressing.
vspindler
Scrappin CPeaA
PeaNut 36,141
April 2002
Posts: 9,845
Layouts: 183
Loc: Peatown, WI
Posted: 1/21/2006 11:01:24 AM
Once when I was pregnant...
I had to get sick but was at the other end of the house from the bathroom. I ran to the
bathroom but threw the toilet seat up w/ such force that it bounced back down and hit
me on the nose. Instant bloody nose. I was still getting sick though (while bleeding) and
the process of it caused me to wet myself.
It was not the most dignified I've ever been.
~Sandy~
*Sassy Latin Pea*
PeaNut 52,360
October 2002
Posts: 20,169
Layouts: 257
Loc: America
Posted: 3/17/2006 7:48:18 PM
I threw a cookie sheet of tatar tots across the kitchen because DH didn't
cook them right
literally peeing my pantss!
OSUfan
PeaAddict
PeaNut 196,339
March 2005
Posts: 1,026
Layouts: 11
Loc: Oklahoma
Posted: 3/17/2006 8:09:25 PM
... I had a tantrum on a road trip because I HAD to have white tic tacs. DH stopped at
the nearest convenience store and you better believe that he did not want to get back in
the car because they DID NOT HAVE ANY. Boy were the headsaspinnin then.
bumblebby
AncestralPea
PeaNut 249,153
February 2006
Posts: 4,245
Layouts: 0
Loc: Northern Ontario
Posted: 3/17/2006 8:22:02 PM
a coworker told me I was getting fat in front of about 10 coworkers , so I yelled out
"At least I don't sleep with married men" (she was having an open affair at work)
peanutterbutter
PeaAddict
PeaNut 56,203
November 2002
Posts: 1,360
Layouts: 3
Loc: Da Burgh
Posted: 3/17/2006 9:13:04 PM
ROFLOL @ these stories mine may not be quite as funny, but...
Once when I was pregnant...
DH and I had only been married a few weeks, and I was about 6 mos along. Anywhooo,
I did not have a car when we got married (broke college student), so we bought an older
car that a mechanic friend checked out for us. Only problem was it would occasionally
stall if you ddin't hit the gas just righ something I wasn't used to. So the first night I
get it we go to Ponderosa to eat drive the "new" car it stalls at a stop sign. Dh is
fairly patient stalls at next stop sign I just need to get used to the gas/brake trickery
on this older car. Pull into the parking lot I have a hard time parking it's a big old
boat way wider than anything I was used to driving have to back up a couple times
it stalls DH starts yelling at me I jump out of the car in the parking lot (at least I
remembered to put it in park!!), storm into the restaurant, and stand there w/tears
dripping down my face til DH comes in. We order, I can't really eat, I sit there with
hormonally induced tears dripping down my face during the entire meal ( I don't think it
affected his appetite any.) As we leave I whip the keys at him, and dramatically
announce that I will NEVER be teh driver in the car with him again. Rarely do to this day
never mind that I log a couple thousand miles every month and he is nowhere near
that.
Fleur De Pea
PeaAddict
PeaNut 164,477
August 2004
Posts: 1,195
Layouts: 3
Posted: 3/17/2006 9:14:48 PM
The bulk toilet paper purchase post is the funniest thing I have ever read on this board!!!
TFS
momtoemily
aka momtoemily
PeaNut 63,864
January 2003
Posts: 11,128
Layouts: 1
Loc: South Dakota
Posted: 3/17/2006 9:38:47 PM
I had serious pregnancy brain while I was pregnant. About a month before we were due
dh, his mom and I were at Walmart and we thought we would start buying some
diapers. DH wanted to get Pampers because that came out as the best deal, they were
$17 for a big pack. I said no the Huggies are the best deal. We can get 2 of those for the
price of 1 package of Pampers plus there was like 10 extra diapers. He looked at me
like I was nuts and said "Laurie the Pampers are the better deal."
I was instantly furious at him and thinking in my head how could I marry such a moron
who can't even add. So I proceeded to say "Lloyd are you an idiot? The Huggies will only
be $11. That is a much better deal than the $17 Pampers." His mom had this wierd look
on her face that at the time I couldn't understand why. We bickered back and forth until
he finally put the 2 packages of Huggies in the cart and left.
We were standing in the checkout line when the lightbulb went on for me. The Huggies
were $9 each...meaning that the 2 packages were $18 so the $17 package of Pampers
were better.
I admitted my mistake right there though. I said "Oh my gosh 2 packages of these
equals $18." DH just said "Uhh yeah." His mom was trying so hard not to laugh.
Iowa girl
PeaFixture
PeaNut 42,611
July 2002
Posts: 3,946
Layouts: 14
Loc: Iowa!
Posted: 3/17/2006 9:48:33 PM
This is seriously my favorite thread of all time.
"Lloyd are you an idiot? The Huggies will only be $11. That is a much better
deal than the $17 Pampers."
This made me laugh out loud. That sounds like something I would've said!
pepsiqueen
PeaNut
PeaNut 253,704
March 2006
Posts: 41
Layouts: 2
Loc: Where it is cold!
Posted: 3/17/2006 10:11:48 PM
Once, when i was pregnant, I ended up with a child that acts just like me!
Someone please pray for me?!
McMomof3
PeaNut
PeaNut 88,930
June 2003
Posts: 105
Layouts: 0
Posted: 3/17/2006 10:38:59 PM
Loving all the stories!
Once when I was pregnant...
I asked my mom and sister to pick up a Mrs. Smiths french silk chocolate pie. My sister
called me from a pay phone from the store to tell me they didn't have the french silk
pie. I yelled at her and told her to get her butt back in the store and FIND me one! And
she did!
My mom told me later that my sister was going to just get me a different kind of pie..
My mom told her no way, she is pregnant you better call her. So, after the call my
mom, sister and a Fry's employee took ALL of the pies out until they found a french silk!
Hey, when you are pregnant and have a craving NOTHING ELSE will do!
stampinsanity
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 59,835
December 2002
Posts: 2,297
Layouts: 24
Loc: San Diego, CA
Posted: 3/17/2006 11:40:13 PM
once when i was pregnant, ok, not ONCE, daily, for 9 freakin' months, i threw up, most
often in the shower, dh was ready to put a garbage disposal in the shower...
once when i was pg, my button off my top popped on and landed in the public restroom
toilet i had just peed in. it hit me as REALLY funny. my mom and i were in a restaurant,
and she could hear me laughing outside the door (it was a one seater, she was not right
outside the door), so i open the door and call her over, she comes in and now we are
both laughing and we both peed our pants...what a moment. who thought a button could
be so fun!
once when i was pg a snarky male coworker mentioned i was getting "fat", i YELLED
"yea, well you're ugly and i will eventually have this baby" the entire office got
quiet...and i really liked this guy. my second, if she had been a boy was going to be
named after him!
Posted: 3/18/2006 12:02:45 AM
jrenae
Doing strange things
in the name of Art
PeaNut 94,583
July 2003
Posts: 23,541
Layouts: 87
Loc: "Oh, here go hell
come" AZ
a coworker told me I was getting fat in front of about 10 coworkers , so I
yelled out "At least I don't sleep with married men" (she was having an open
affair at work)
oooooohhhhh!
stampinsanity
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 59,835
December 2002
Posts: 2,297
Layouts: 24
Loc: San Diego, CA
Posted: 3/18/2006 12:05:40 AM
i just thought of another one, with my dd, i was in a pretty bad car accident...totally my
fault, rearened someone on the freeway and the cars were STUCK together, I was about
3 mos PG, well it scared the pee out of me, and yes, i peed my pants. it was in a
company car...they detailed it. then when i got the police report, it said in the injury
part that driver one (me) was pg and had "leaked fluid"...i PEED my pant dammit! That
was nice to have go around the office...so glad i don't work there anymore!
2peafaithful
People not perfection
PeaNut 35,457
April 2002
Posts: 30,024
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right where I should
be
Posted: 3/18/2006 12:07:44 AM
I gained 8 lbs in a month! I am not going to tell how much I gained in the whole 9
months! I was a bad girl!!!
Posted: 3/18/2006 12:07:50 AM
I gained 8 lbs in a month! I am not going to tell how much I gained in the whole 9
months! I was a bad girl!!!
2peafaithful
People not perfection
PeaNut 35,457
April 2002
Posts: 30,024
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right where I should
be
iamwonderwoman
PeaAddict
PeaNut 181,834
December 2004
Posts: 1,221
Layouts: 6
Loc: I forget!
Posted: 3/18/2006 12:54:12 AM
I drank all of the pickle juice out of the jar.. then it gave me horrible diarrhea. It was
miserable.
Lee
katiepotatie
Ancient Ancestor of
Pea
PeaNut 183,099
January 2005
Posts: 6,833
Layouts: 10
Loc: Willamette Valley
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:11:14 AM
Once when I was pregnant my water broke & I hopped in the shower, grabbed a bowl of
fresh fruit salad & drove myself to the hospital, arriving 15 minutes later!!
I knew they wouldn't let me bathe or eat once I got there!!! I wanted to start out as
*fresh* as could be!
wondering
BucketHead
PeaNut 142,325
April 2004
Posts: 510
Layouts: 0
Loc: Australia
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:35:07 AM
I had to stop myself from crying hysterically when bil didnt bring a promised chocolate
cheesecake for dessert. He showed up with icecreams. I nearly slammed the door in his
face and then I went into my room and cried!
gracie14
PeaNut
PeaNut 249,850
February 2006
Posts: 358
Layouts: 0
Loc: Great Lakes Area
Posted: 3/18/2006 7:49:27 AM
This thread kept me up until 3:30am. I woke my baby 4 times Laughing so hard I was
crying.
Once when I was pregnant I was working as a
airline ticket attendant at a small airport. It was still early in the morning and I was
ready to have my 10min interval puke. I ran to the bathroom. (Next to the ticket
counter) cleaned up returned to find all the women I worked with trying very hard to
compose themselves.
Apparently the acoustics in the bathroom were theater quality because the whole small
terminal could hear me heaving ,it induced others to feel sick as well. Some just broke
out laughing as they rolled on the baggage belt.
Once when I was pg I was making muffins. I turned away from the stove and puked. I
leaned over to try to clean it Huge mistake! I puked again by this time the dog noticed
and came running for a snack I started to scream mid puke for my DH to come get
the dog and puked again! My husband wanted to let the dog clean it and he was laughing
so hard holding the dog as she clawed to get to the yum yums!
I also developed a 3 box a day Altoids habit. I loved to chew them. and with My dd, My
husband had to go to a certain gas station to get me one of those cups of cappuccino
that looks like it could be a small bucket. He went every night and on the rare occasions
the machine was broke he didn't want to come home. Poor thing.
Thank you ladies!
~Sandy~
*Sassy Latin Pea*
PeaNut 52,360
October 2002
Posts: 20,169
Layouts: 257
Loc: America
Posted: 3/18/2006 8:35:45 AM
Once when I was pregnant...
My dh and I were at Sams Club...and I was sooo craving croissants!! (they sale them in
huge containers of like 20 or something)..
So I ask him to get some...and he was like "why we don't really need that many"..
LOL!
So I begin to cry hysterically...screaming...and then proceed to open the container and
SHUV 2 in my mouth...(like a 2 yr old)..
On the ride home....I had finished about 10...!!
I went into labor the next day...and we always laugh and say that is what made me
have contractions...the fact that I had eaten the entire container by morning!!!!!!!!!!!
BOO!
Sunny Side Up!
PeaNut 52,709
October 2002
Posts: 20,615
Layouts: 95
Loc: watching Top Chef
Canada
Posted: 3/18/2006 9:43:00 AM
This thread is HYSTERICAL! It needs to be printed into a book and given to all expectant
fathers... I'm so glad it wasn't just me...
Once (ok change that to Often), when I was pregnant, I screamed and cried because my
DH did not IMMEDIATELY provide dinner when I said I was hungry. When I said I was
hungry, I meant I was hungry RIGHT NOW. Ten minutes was too long to wait.
Once when I was pregnant, I forcefully pushed a man out of the elevator at work
because he backed up into my pregnant belly. Thankfully, the doors closed before he
could turn around to see who tossed him out on his @$$...
jandmsmom
PeaAddict
PeaNut 127,903
January 2004
Posts: 1,249
Layouts: 7
Posted: 3/18/2006 9:46:21 AM
Once when I was pregnant: I rushed myself to the doctor freaking out that I was leaking
amniotic fluid to which my OB replied "No sweetie, you just pee'd on yourself!"
~Dale
allysmummy
PeaNut
PeaNut 244,603
January 2006
Posts: 136
Layouts: 0
Posted: 3/18/2006 10:02:56 AM
once when I was pregnant
with #1 I lost my mobile phone, hunted everywhere, accused everyone of hiding it,
called the insurance lodged a claim and then found I put it in the vegetable crisper under
the carrots
with #2 ( um last week actually) misjudged my belly expansion factor and got wedged
under the house. I had to knock on the floor to DH ( who kept knocking back thinking I
was playing a game) and then finally he came and kinda dug a little trench to get me
out
These posts have just made me laugh so hard I love it, TFS
Kimberly C
PeaAddict
PeaNut 132,867
February 2004
Posts: 1,670
Layouts: 19
Loc: Virginia
Posted: 3/18/2006 10:07:47 AM
When pregnant with my first I sat in the parking lot of the grocery store bawling my
eyes out because even though my car would start, it would't go into reverse. I didn't
have a cell phone, or cash on me and just was over the top upset about having to go beg
for help inside.
When I leaned down to rest my head on the steering wheel I caught sight of a sticker
that we had yet to remove from the door. It read:
Shift lock, depress the brake to place car in drive.
I started bawling again, but this time from embarrassment as I'd been trying to put the
car in reverse without touching the brake.
Thank God, no one came to check on me before I saw that.
With this pregnancy, I was so in the mood for miracle whip, but didn't want any of the
lunch meat we had, so I grabbed the jar and the leftover french bread and ate it plain.
sPaRkLy
awesomesauce
PeaNut 139,567
March 2004
Posts: 14,733
Layouts: 172
Loc: The Dirty Shwa
Posted: 3/18/2006 3:39:40 PM
I'm adding another one
I was about 5 months pregnant and I was making the 6 hour drive down to my inlaws in
Michigan to visit my hubby (who was still there) and I had to pee SO BADLY. There were
no reststops or any exits that had gas stations around (anyone driving down the 402 in
ontario knows what i'm talking about) so I just pulled off to the side of the road and
popped a squat beside my car (it was february too btw)...I managed to squat so low taht
I almost fell over and had to claw my way back up the side of the car (bare azzed) and
pull my pants back on.
LUCKILY nobody drove past...YAY!
carrottop
PeaNut
PeaNut 20,922
September 2001
Posts: 366
Layouts: 19
Loc: AlmostOrange Co., CA
Posted: 3/18/2006 4:53:52 PM
Wow, don't know how I missed this thread the first time...so, guess I'll share a few
stories now. You'd think after having 6 kids, I'd have TONS of great stories, but I can
only think of a couple. Here goes: Once when I was pregnant...
I was almost due with my first. My DH worked nights, so I had gone over to my parents
for dinner. My dad had a veggie garden, and cooked up a bunch of fresh BEETS for
dinner. I love fresh beets, and I REALLY loved fresh beets that night. Like 4 helpings
worth
Anyway, go home and go to bed. Wake up at 2am, with a tummy ache. Ohoh I
thought...too many beets. Finally had to get down on all fours on the floor to feel better.
Didn't feel like puking, or going potty....dang, I shouldn't have ate sooooo many fresh
beets.
Yea, well...it wasn't till DH came home around 7am that we finally realized I was in
LABOR! (hey, i was 20yr old and kinda naive). DS #1 was born later that day
2. Pregnant with #2. We were having hamburgers for dinner, and had a HUGE bottle of
ketchup on the table. I got MAD at DH for something, got up, picked up the ketchup (that
had NO cap on it) and threw it to the floor! It landed right side up, but the force caused
the ketchup to spew out the top,...all the way to the ceiling! Yea, I had to clean it up.
3. About 6 months Pregnant with #3. DH and I took the 2 little boys to Knotts Berry
Farm for the day. Had breakfast on the way at a deli type place. I had bacon with my
meal. Bacon must not have been good, cause about 2 hours later I started feeling
queezy. In the afternoon, we went to see the Wild West show. It's outside, in this huge
ampitheather. We were sitting pretty much in the middle, thought luckily close to an
aisle. All of a sudden, I just know I had to puke. NO WAY was I gonna puke in front of
200 people! I RAN for the nearest exit, and just barely made it thru the gate and luckily
there was a trash can right there. (a normal trash can, NOT one that opens on the side,
like most of them at Knotts were). Heaved all my breakfast and lunch, in front of people
walking into the show. Not that I cared....but I felt SOOO much better after.
4. OH, once when I was pregnant with #6...we went on vacation to Family Camp, took
our wave runner, and I rode it almost every day on Shaver Lake. And I was 6 weeks
from delievery (it actually made my achey back feel better)
5. Last one...also with #6, I was preggo during the summer, and HAD to have a Baskin
Robbins Cappacino Blast almost every day. Not too bad....but, ... I'm MORMON!
Hugs to all,
Linda Porter Jones
kellum 97
BucketHead
PeaNut 232,908
November 2005
Posts: 734
Layouts: 0
Posted: 3/19/2006 11:46:29 PM
When I was about 9 months pregnant I sat down in the shower to shave my legs. It was
working fine until my dd shifted positions and was right up under my ribs. You could see
the whole outline of her laying diagonally across my stomach. I tried to stand up but
couldn't so I thought I'd roll to my side and get on all fours and just push myself up.
Well, that didn't work out so well either. Think of those home movies where dogs slip
and slide on the ice with their legs giving out on them. Yep, that was me. I just sat there
crying because I couldn't get up and I couldn't move. Then the water got ice cold and I
still couldn't move which only made me cry harder. My ex dh came back from the store
about an hour later to see me sitting in an ICE cold shower just bawling my eyes out
because I couldn't move.
baristagirl
PeaFixture
PeaNut 33,648
March 2002
Posts: 3,030
Layouts: 114
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Posted: 3/20/2006 12:03:36 AM
once, when I was 9 months pregnant I was hanging a wallpaper border in my soon to be
dd room. When I finished I realized I had no way to get off of the high chair I was on. I
couldn't jump off and there was no way I could climb down. So I stood on that chair for
2 hours until my husband came home from work.
yippeee
PeaAddict
PeaNut 73,542
March 2003
Posts: 1,455
Layouts: 17
Loc:
Posted: 3/20/2006 1:13:31 AM
I've got a new one that happened a few weeks ago.
Once when I was pregnant for my 3rd, I was laying on the couch and I had the urge to
go pee. My sciatic nerve had been really bothering me that day and no matter which
way I moved, it HURT! I'm sure I looked like a beached whale because I was just flailing
my arms trying to push myself up into a sitting position. DH was standing there, wanting
to help, but not knowing what to do. Finally I was able to sit, but the pain was
aggravated by putting my weight on my butt. The only way I could stay sitting up was if
I put my weight on my hands and held myself up. By this time, I am half laughing and
half crying because I really had to pee and I was stranded. I pushed myself up to stand
and the weight on my legs sent shooting pains down my butt and legsand I fell back on
to the couch, which put the weight back onto my butt, which again, sent pains down my
butt and legs. This occurred about four times before DH offered to carry me over to the
bathroom. I was still laughcrying and I started to pee my pants. Of course, then I got
really upset. I proceeded to yell at DH because even if he carried me to the bathroom,
pulled my pants down and put me on the toilet himself, the nerve pain would still hurt
while I was sitting on the toilet and I would have no way of getting back up because it
hurt too much to stand.
I was finally able to hobble to the bathroom and pee all by myself. I was so upset at the
time, but I laughed hysterically the next day.
GingerCA
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 218,487
August 2005
Posts: 2,478
Layouts: 27
Loc: California
Posted: 3/20/2006 2:33:39 AM
Once, when I was pregnant, DH and I went to see 50 First Dates. At the end of the
movie, I was bawling my eyes out because the woman didn't remember her own child.
Every time I would start to calm down, I'd think of something else not remembering
the first smile, not remembering her baby learning to say mama, not remembering her
baby doing ANYTHING, and I'd start to bawl all over again. We sat there about 10
minutes after the lights had come back on, and everyone else had already left before I
could finally compose myself enough to walk out.
DH had been bugging me to make him some deviled eggs. He knew I couldn't stand the
smell of eggs, but he wouldn't leave me alone. How foolish men are with their pregnant
women. Anyway, the night before I went into labor with my first, I made 2 dozen
deviled eggs, so 48 halves. After he came home from work that night, I sat over him
and watched him eat every last one. It was just so important he got his fill of those
deviled eggs. After they were gone, I was content and went to bed. That man never
asked for another deviled egg
MagooPea
BucketHead
PeaNut 226,853
October 2005
Posts: 757
Layouts: 0
Posted: 3/21/2006 5:52:49 PM
These are so stinkin' hilarious! My favorite is the one who threw a cookie sheet of tater
tots across the room because they weren't cooked right! Classic!
Once, when I was pregnant, I made my husband go out in a blizzard to get me a
German Chocolate cake from Albertsons by the time he got home, and I smelled the
cake, I was so grossed out, I didn't eat any of it. It sat there for days until I threw it
away!
kissywuvs
PeaNut
Posted: 5/3/2006 10:41:28 PM
Locked
PeaNut 32,797
March 2002
Posts: 65
Layouts: 4
I farted right there in the store where someone else could hear it. It was LOUD!
I left my car parked and running with the keys in it while visiting my sil and her new
baby in the hospital.
aggiebonfire00
Proud Texas A&M
University Graduate
PeaNut 134,947
March 2004
Posts: 6,381
Layouts: 137
Posted: 5/3/2006 10:58:27 PM
I was about 8 weeks pregnant. I was on a Reglan pump to help control my nausea, and I
was always exhausted in the morning. So one Saturday morning while I got to sleep in,
my husband and my son woke up and made me my favorite breakfast...bacon and
waffles.
Do you know how bacon aroma just fills the house? Well, when it hit the bedroom I
jumped straight up and ran into the kitchen screaming, "WTF are you cooking bacon
for?" He said, "I wanted to do something nice for you since you're having such a hard
time keeping everything else down." I started gagging and grabbed the pan...yes...our
very nice pan we got for a wedding gift...ran out into the front yard and threw it as far
as I could.
My husband had followed me out and was like, "What the hell did that pan do to you?" I
got in his face and told him to never ever make bacon unless I asked him to. To this
day, he has never made me bacon.
NLGuy
I have a colorful
PEAsonality!
PeaNut 219,124
August 2005
Posts: 6,072
Layouts: 49
Loc: Wine Country...
bottoms up!
Posted: 5/3/2006 11:29:35 PM
LOL! My husband keeps asking what's so funny!
I put on various articles of clothing (pants, socks, underwear) inside out a few times
during my pregnancy. I wouldn't notice until around lunch time.
At my work, we have snacks for sale, the proceeds from which help pay for the annual
holiday party. With my son, I was hungry every hour on the hour, so I was always
getting into the snacks. We also have this thing where, if you don't have cash, you can
simply write an IOU and pay it off later. Most people have about a $23 IOU. I racked up
$16 in two weeks!
I also had someone walk in on me while I was pumping. We didn't, at that time, have a
lactation room, but we did/do have this funky little room with a sink. People mainly use
it to rinse out their coffee cups. The door doesn't lock. I'd wait for a time of day when
hardly anyone was around, sit on the counter, hook myself up using the rubberband
trick, and read a People magazine. Someone from another department started to walk in
on me and I screamed "WAIT!!" but it was too late. I think I scarred her for life.
Fortunately, they moved that department some time later.
I talked to the guy at Facility Operations and there is now a sign on the door that
says "Please Knock Before Entering".
mkatiej
AncestralPea
PeaNut 179,915
December 2004
Posts: 4,133
Layouts: 81
Loc: Wisconsin
Posted: 5/4/2006 12:12:22 PM
OMG.....I am convinced this thread will never die! Isn't this the 3rd time it has been
'resurrected'??
Still.......it IS pretty darn funny to hear these stories.
kissywuvs
PeaNut
PeaNut 32,797
March 2002
Posts: 65
Layouts: 4
Posted: 5/3/2006 10:41:28 PM
I farted right there in the store where someone else could hear it. It was LOUD!
I left my car parked and running with the keys in it while visiting my sil and her new
baby in the hospital.
aggiebonfire00
Proud Texas A&M
University Graduate
PeaNut 134,947
March 2004
Posts: 6,381
Layouts: 137
Posted: 5/3/2006 10:58:27 PM
I was about 8 weeks pregnant. I was on a Reglan pump to help control my nausea, and I
was always exhausted in the morning. So one Saturday morning while I got to sleep in,
my husband and my son woke up and made me my favorite breakfast...bacon and
waffles.
Do you know how bacon aroma just fills the house? Well, when it hit the bedroom I
jumped straight up and ran into the kitchen screaming, "WTF are you cooking bacon
for?" He said, "I wanted to do something nice for you since you're having such a hard
time keeping everything else down." I started gagging and grabbed the pan...yes...our
very nice pan we got for a wedding gift...ran out into the front yard and threw it as far
as I could.
My husband had followed me out and was like, "What the hell did that pan do to you?" I
got in his face and told him to never ever make bacon unless I asked him to. To this
day, he has never made me bacon.
NLGuy
I have a colorful
PEAsonality!
PeaNut 219,124
August 2005
Posts: 6,072
Layouts: 49
Loc: Wine Country...
bottoms up!
Posted: 5/3/2006 11:29:35 PM
LOL! My husband keeps asking what's so funny!
I put on various articles of clothing (pants, socks, underwear) inside out a few times
during my pregnancy. I wouldn't notice until around lunch time.
At my work, we have snacks for sale, the proceeds from which help pay for the annual
holiday party. With my son, I was hungry every hour on the hour, so I was always
getting into the snacks. We also have this thing where, if you don't have cash, you can
simply write an IOU and pay it off later. Most people have about a $23 IOU. I racked up
$16 in two weeks!
I also had someone walk in on me while I was pumping. We didn't, at that time, have a
lactation room, but we did/do have this funky little room with a sink. People mainly use
it to rinse out their coffee cups. The door doesn't lock. I'd wait for a time of day when
hardly anyone was around, sit on the counter, hook myself up using the rubberband
trick, and read a People magazine. Someone from another department started to walk in
on me and I screamed "WAIT!!" but it was too late. I think I scarred her for life.
Fortunately, they moved that department some time later.
I talked to the guy at Facility Operations and there is now a sign on the door that
says "Please Knock Before Entering".
mkatiej
AncestralPea
PeaNut 179,915
December 2004
Posts: 4,133
Layouts: 81
Posted: 5/4/2006 12:12:22 PM
OMG.....I am convinced this thread will never die! Isn't this the 3rd time it has been
'resurrected'??
Still.......it IS pretty darn funny to hear these stories.
HarpTonya
BucketHead
PeaNut 325,570
July 2007
Posts: 522
Layouts: 0
Posted: 8/25/2007 9:15:14 AM
I ate nothing but Spree candies and Cocacola for 3 days because my morning sickness
was so bad it was the only thing that stayed down.
I never (well, hardly ever) eat stuff like that otherwise. I felt so guilty and worried that I
was going to mutate my baby with all that food coloring. But I think they all turned out
ok, don't you?
Locked
Loc: Twin Cities MN
LOSTINWESTTEXAS
Kickin' @ss and takin'
names!
PeaNut 132,147
February 2004
Posts: 5,129
Layouts: 6
Loc: Hugging my kids tight
Posted: 8/25/2007 11:02:44 AM
Thanks for bringing this thread back up, I had forgotten how funny it was. I'm sitting
here in hysterics, tears streaming down my face. My 2 year old DD is staring at me,
patting my arm, saying it will be okay, mama! Just wait till you have kids, missy! And I
can relate to every one of these stories!
pegaroo
This too shall Pea!
PeaNut 259,418
April 2006
Posts: 8,109
Layouts: 0
Loc: AZ again!
Posted: 8/25/2007 11:05:06 AM
I made cookie dough and ate it! Then I called my BIL (a doctor) and cried about how
horrible I was. He told me not to worry about it all would be fine. And if the mood
struck again, to go for it! And I did a few days later. The weigh in is what made me stop
this habit!
lucylovesricky
PeaFixture
PeaNut 174,452
October 2004
Posts: 3,196
Layouts: 1
Loc: Where the Army sends us.
(Currently South Asia!)
Posted: 8/25/2007 11:21:19 AM
I totally relate to the above poster who craved limes. I did the same with oranges. I
bought a bag, got it home from the grocery store and peeled and ate 3 without stopping
for breath. DH was just staring. I started my fourth and he mentioned that I might want
to wait 5 minutes to see if the first 3 had done the trick. I shared the 4th with him and
walked away, but I couldn't wait until I could eat more!!! Oddly enough, this craving was
the ONLY true craving I had and it went away after the first trimester.
sobescrapper
PeaNut 144,643
April 2004
Posts: 8,666
Layouts: 115
Loc: South Florida
Posted: 8/25/2007 11:21:55 AM
Well since I'm still pregnancy it's one of those.....since becoming pregnant I made DH go
out three times in the middle of the night for a bits and bites shake from Steak and
Shake only to be asleep by the time he got home with it...ooops.
Posted: 8/25/2007 12:40:11 PM
Holy cow.. it takes hours to read 8 pages! These were HILARIOUS!!!!! I'll add a couple of
my own.
I was being induced. My OB came to the hospital and broke my water around 8am... and
I was on a pitocin drip. I was having some painful contractions so they brought in a
squillen
Tier 1 Baking Pea
PeaNut 133,550
February 2004
Posts: 39,602
Layouts: 331
Loc: Hudson Valley, NY
wooden rocking chair for me so I could rock through them. While transitioning from the
bed to the chair, I did a quick potty break (not easy to do when you're hooked up to a iv
drip, btw.. )... I'm sitting there in the chair, DH is on the couch and we're watching tv. I
have this HORRIBLE contraction. We're talking the mother of all contractions and
amniotic fluid spills EVERYWHERE. They even had one of those super absorbant catch
blankets under my bum but that didn't even help. One of the nurses came in to check
my vitals and I just looked at her with this guilty face and said, "I think you might need
to get a mop."
She just looked at me with her mouth dropped and said, "OMG. Did you just pee all over
the floor????" I told her I really hoped I hadn't because I just used the bathroom!
Yah.. that was pretty embarassing.
Now with *this* pregnancy, we were on our way to town and I was starving. It was
about 11am and I told my DH we needed to stop and get lunch before shopping or else I
would die. So we go to Smokey Bones. We order an appetizer (BBQ Chicken Nachos w/
extra jalapenos) and our meals. I normally don't eat spicy foods but it's all I crave with
this baby. I proceeded to SHOVEL those nachos into my mouth. I didn't stop until they
were gone and my lunch entree was finished.
My husband couldn't believe how quickly, and how much I could pack away in an hour.
*lol*
ck42
Escaping the chaos
PeaNut 162,031
August 2004
Posts: 5,557
Layouts: 391
Loc: 711 parking lot
Posted: 8/25/2007 12:41:34 PM
Funny "once, when I was pregnant" story that I *have* to tell only because I would
rather laugh about it than be mortified by it.
I was 31 weeks along and at my local grocery store filling up for the next couple weeks
and was nearly done. I had just finished getting my meat and was doing the mental tally
of "I know I forgot some stuff, what else do I need?" I had been there an hour and a half
and had so much stuff in my cart it was a good thing I was once a tetris champion. And
then...I sneezed.
We'll just say four pregnancies takes a toll on the ol' muscles down there and I had just
finished a rather large bottle of water. I had some protection for this as I have had
these problems this entire pregnancy, but this was a rather forceful sneeze. That's
right...
I peed myself in the meat section of Publix.
And I was wearing little shorty short maternity shorts too! Cute, stylish, comfy and
soaked! There was no hiding this.
So I walked very close to my cart to the bathroom and hid out in there while I tried to
figure out what I was going to do. I called DH (we live about 5 min away) and asked him
to bring me new clothes, but the kiddos were taking their baths and it was pouring
outside. I didn't want to walk out and leave my cart because I had just spent an hour
and a half filling it and I didn't want to do the walk of shame to escape either. What to
do?
So I ended up calling the manager over and telling him my water broke! lol! So I told
him not to panic, but could he just ring my groceries up for me and load up my car and
I'd be really grateful. He was so nice and concerned, I almost felt bad for not telling the
truthbut that would be *too* embarrassing. I sat in the pharmacy department with my
purse in my lap until everything was done and then (still covering myself with the purse)
waddled over to the curb where it was still pouring and then took myself home.
The funny thing is that if my water had actually broken, I probably would have handled
it the same way. The baby isn't going to pop out then and there and groceries are more
important at that point!
Of course, karma came back to haunt me and I ended up giving birth in my van two
weeks later on the way to the hosp!
AvidScrapFan
PeaAddict
PeaNut 130,695
February 2004
Posts: 1,025
Layouts: 3
Loc: Michigan Good Ol' U S of
A
Posted: 8/25/2007 12:46:38 PM
Once when I was pregnant, I was driving in the car, going very slowly through rushhour
traffic, and started to vomit (as I did about 810 times a day) all over the front of
myself. Had absolutely no control over it, just came out. I was mortified, looked over at
the guy next to me, who was now throwing up all over his passenger car seat cause he
saw me vomit! Yeah I'm pretty sure he hates me! lol
Peasfull
PeaNut
PeaNut 191,228
February 2005
Posted: 9/22/2007 11:43:23 PM
I was just telling someone about this thread today!
BTT by request.
Debbie
Posts: 234
Layouts: 7
kdteacher
BucketHead
PeaNut 318,337
May 2007
Posts: 654
Layouts: 4
Loc: Southern California
Posted: 9/23/2007 12:05:15 AM
Okay squishing the ice cream into the bed...that made me lmao!
Once when I had just gotten home after giving birth, I bent down to pick something up
and peed. I started crying; my dh calmed me down. 5 min later bent down to pick
something else up, peed. It took me a long time to stop.
Once when I was pregnant, I had to eat Taco Bell burritos with no onions at least 3
times a week. I craved the sauce on them and the melted cheese.
Once when I was pregnant, I had a fever and had to go to the hospital and lie on an "ice
blanket". When I asked the nurse if I could get off of it for just a few minutes because it
was so cold, she replied, "you can't you are burning your baby"! Can you believe that?
bobsmydog
PeaAddict
PeaNut 259,750
May 2006
Posts: 1,145
Layouts: 6
Loc: Squamish, BC
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:55:38 AM
I pulled a "George" and took a nap under my desk,
Cried at America's Funniest Videos
Coughed and peed my pants at a family dinner. My aunt had to put my pants in the
dryer and I had to wear a robe for the evening (try explaining to your 7 year old why
mommy peed her pants).
and... My tail lights were out in my car so I went to get them fixed AFTER my water
broke. It was friday of a long weekend and they said they wouldn't have time. I politely
explained I was in labour, and I didn't want to drive my new baby home with a broken
light. They fixed it immediately. I also had my friend with me who was six months
pregnant. I'm sure we were a sight in the waiting room!!
jentlepea
AncestralPea
PeaNut 43,825
July 2002
Posts: 4,989
Layouts: 582
Loc: Auckland, New Zealand
Posted: 10/14/2007 4:03:57 PM
I'm sorry, I just have to do it. I have to BTT this, the Best Thread Ever. Pregnant peas
feel free to add your stories
KelleAnn
PeaAddict
PeaNut 290,612
January 2007
Posts: 1,740
Layouts: 10
Loc: Massachusetts
Posted: 10/14/2007 5:00:46 PM
When I was pregnant with my DD..I used to eat McDonald's French Fries and a Vanilla
Shake everyday on the way home from work.
No wonder I gained 60 pounds.....
Wildcatmom
RightWing Extremist
PeaNut 27,343
January 2002
Posts: 21,488
Posted: 10/14/2007 8:35:51 PM
this is my favorite thread EVER!!
Layouts: 6
Loc: in red country
phdwannabe
BucketHead
PeaNut 19,449
August 2001
Posts: 669
Layouts: 6
Loc: Chicago
Posted: 10/14/2007 8:40:07 PM
discovered that some vegetables had gone bad in the crisper. I couldn't face
them w/o getting sick, so I took the whole vegetable drawer out of the
fridge and left it on the back porch. It stayed there all winter, until I'd had
the baby and could face cleaning it.
BWA HAA HAA!!!!!!!!!!
With DD#3, I didn't have an epidural, so no catheter. When it was time to
push, they had me lay flat on my back. The very 1st time I pushed, a
fountain of pee sprayed straight up in the air and almost hit the celilng.
I am DYING here. Thanks to whomever bumped this!!!
I don't recall any REALLY bad stuff with either of mine Couldn't eat enough BLT's with
#2, though...
AUNTNETTOANDUNCLEGLE
BucketHead
PeaNut 16,701
June 2001
Posts: 935
Layouts: 0
Posted: 10/14/2007 8:41:34 PM
Once when I was pregnant my FIL was offering me chocolate and then pulled it back
when I went to take it. I laughed so hard I peed my pants in their living room.
I once ate a whole can of frosting.
I used to get so mad at my DH I would throw anything I could find at him which resulted
in alot of broken stuff.
I once took a bath at 9 months pregnant (and I had preeclampsia so was really swollen)
and I could not get out of that tub. the phone kept ringing and finally I hear someone
break in and it was my FIL so i screamed that I was naked and he had to call my DH to
come home from work and hoist me out.
TheraPEA
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 94,777
July 2003
Posts: 2,945
Layouts: 0
Loc: on the side of a volcano
Posted: 10/14/2007 8:45:33 PM
Once, when I was pregnant, I drove to the quick mart and before I drove home, (three
miles) I ate a whole box of ding dongs.
Sheila
DanaPea
Quietly sneaking
PeaNut 212,612
July 2005
Posts: 8,870
Layouts: 0
Loc: Home
Posted: 10/14/2007 10:44:13 PM
I was scheduled for our first U/S and DH and I had to stop at the market before we went
to the doctors office. We were running really late and the old lady in front of us was
taking her time writing checks and having the cashier re look at every thing and the
cashier was super slow. I just lost it and started yelling that I was sick of waiting on the
world and the world needed to get out of my way for once. When DH tried to calm me
down I yelled at him that I wanted to see my baby and I couldn't see it because these
people were holding me up. Then I told him I hated him and ran out of the store crying.
Posted: 10/15/2007 12:08:24 AM
In my last trimester I craved, I mean REALLY craved Ruby Red Grapefruit juice. I'd drink
it by the gallons! One day I was sitting in our bedroom at the computer desk guzzling
juice right out of the bottle and DH made some comment about slowing down when I
deekaye
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 201,120
April 2005
Posts: 2,136
Layouts: 0
Loc: Washington State
drank otherwise I was going to throw up.
I whirled around in my office chair fully intent on telling him off, that I knew what I was
doing and if I wanted to guzzle Ruby Red Grapefruit juice it was nobody's business but
mine....
Unfortunately the minute I opened my mouth to yell, I started to hurl.... hit the
keyboard, the desk, the floor, our bed, his shoes.....
gent_pea
PeaNut
PeaNut 265,982
June 2006
Posts: 303
Layouts: 0
Loc: GhentBelgium
Posted: 10/15/2007 10:31:31 AM
with both my pregancies (DD and right now with baby #2) I've been doing a lot of crying
and lost my appetite for all this sweet .
When pregnant with DD I would buy big bags of things I really needed to have, only to
find out I didn't when I got home... Quite expensive!
While in labour with DD I got a terrible cramp in my left calf (picture lying on the
delivery table, Dr trying to get the baby out)... I missed the Dr's head by a few
centimeters (that's what my DH told me afterwards).
With this pregnancy, I get sick taking the tablets to help me with morning sickeness...
So it's a catch 22! (whoever thought of the name morningsickness must have been a
guy!!!)
When I drink cola in the afternoon, I must have Maltezers with it. Not so when I drink it
in the morning or in the evening (very strange, but I keep a supply of little bags
Maltezers in my purse).
Kat
A Comedians Wife
PeaFixture
PeaNut 140,442
April 2004
Posts: 3,904
Layouts: 5
Posted: 10/15/2007 10:41:44 AM
this thread rocks. I love when someone bumps it! lol
A Comedians Wife
PeaFixture
PeaNut 140,442
April 2004
Posts: 3,904
Layouts: 5
Posted: 10/15/2007 11:01:24 AM
I was craving those sugar lollipops. You know the ones that are pure sugar crystals with
a little flavoring. I was at work and needed one NOW. I called every store in the metro
area and finally found a place that carried them. I litterally screamed out loud when
they told me they carried them. I was there like 10 minutes later and when I walked up
to the counter with 20 of those things the lady looked at my belly and said, "Oh you are
the one who called! Now I get it!" lol I think we still have some of those in our cupboard.
Spooky28
This IS my cool Pea Title
PeaNut 152,674
June 2004
Posts: 6,796
Layouts: 0
Loc: North Carolina
Posted: 11/20/2007 10:04:04 AM
btt for one of my all time fav 2Peas threads.
lilbug13
Pea'in in the SUNSHINE
PeaNut 147,932
May 2004
Posts: 14,665
Layouts: 149
Loc: California
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:36:27 PM
How could I pass up the opportunity to BTT this?
BoSoxBeth
Working for SHALOM
PeaNut 44,871
August 2002
Posts: 17,770
Layouts: 8
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:39:15 PM
I did a twelve mile walkathon for charity, ate two hotdogs at the BBQ that followed, and
puked all night long! Yeah, good times!
jrashley
BucketHead
PeaNut 218,946
August 2005
Posts: 599
Layouts: 28
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:13:47 PM
four little words say it all..."Orange juice and pickles"
PeaMommyJade
PeaNut 260,450
May 2006
Posts: 10,289
Layouts: 169
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:16:15 PM
This one about makes me pee in my pants laugh everytime I read it...
tesann
BucketHead
PeaNut 18,198
July 2001
Posts: 775
Layouts: 38
Loc: North Texas
Posted: 3/4/2008 10:14:03 PM
When I was pregnant with my oldest I was on hospital bedrest for about a month. I had
cravings for Butterfingers so I made my dh bring some every few days but I was so
embarassed to be eating junk I kept them stashed in my bedside table.
With my twins I craved pecan pie and made dh stop every day at Village Inn to get me a
slice. He thought he would get smart and brought home a whole pie one day. I
immediately began to cry because I knew I would eat the whole pie and he would still
have to go back tomorrow. From that day on he just brought one slice.
**Angie**
Pea Who Should Be
Posted: 3/5/2008 7:05:45 AM
I can't believe that I haven't posted this yet!!
I had gone to the hospital because my bloo pressure was wonky. I was 38 weeks. The
nursed monitored me, did a physical check, and then sent me home. I had to stop in the
Cleaning!
PeaNut 145,006
May 2004
Posts: 11,487
Layouts: 92
Loc: at home in front of the
computer
bathroom and while in there, I felt this weird popping in my abdomen/hip area. I thought
it was just a joint popping and headed towards my car with dh in tow.
About halfway across the *extremely* busy parking lot, I felt this rush of liquid down
my leg. I started crying hysterically that I had peed myself and begged dh to look.
Gotta love him because he stopped in the middle of a lane and bent over to check. Then,
he laughed and said we need to go back in because no one pees THAT much.
So, we walk back across the parking lot, into the hospital and up the elevator. The
whole time, I guess I was leaving a "path" behind me.
aliC1977
PeaNut
PeaNut 363,414
February 2008
Posts: 366
Layouts: 0
Loc: Down the street from the
shiny mermaid
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:37:33 AM
I was only like 5 or 6 months along with DD. We went to a wedding in VA in July. It was
so freakin hot. On the car ride home (like 5 hours) I was so cold, I made DH drive with
the heater on full blast the entire way. Poor thing, he was so hot, he could barely drive.
He kept trying to turn the AC on, and I would scream at him when he did!
Once, I ate chalk.
eversograceful1
Feeling Spaztastic!
PeaNut 69,237
February 2003
Posts: 7,832
Layouts: 73
Loc: Northern Florida
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:41:19 AM
I ate an entire apple pie in less than 30 minutes.
I had a complete meltdown b/c I broke the side mirror off my car...for the second time
in two months and DH had just repaired. When I call DH crying, he laughed at me.
bulldogmom57
PeaAddict
PeaNut 288,171
December 2006
Posts: 1,306
Layouts: 0
Loc: West Central Ohio
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:49:50 AM
Once when I was pregnant, I got SO discouraged about wearing "fat" clothes that I went
outside and sat in the car crying hysterically because I wanted to wear my tight jeans.
Once when I was pregnant, I was craving root beer floats, and made thenDH go to the
Dairy Queen. I drank the entire thing in like 2.2 seconds and then promptly went into
labor. I threw up root beer float for what seemed like hours. It was 25 years before I
had another root beer float!
Once when I was pregnant, on strict bedrest and a nosalt diet, I made DH take me to
the local steakhouse, where I promptly ran into the physician I worked for (not my OB,
but same practice!)...I acted like all the food was for DH, and made him take me to
another part of the restaurant so the doctor couldn't see me eating. At the time, it made
perfect sense to me!
GardenLuvr
BucketHead
PeaNut 334,532
August 2007
Posts: 796
Layouts: 29
Loc: Ozarks
Posted: 3/5/2008 9:55:39 AM
I ate a whole box of Sundae Crunch Bars
And when pregnant with DS, I ate a whole pot of mashed potatoes and blamed it on DH
and DD because they wouldn't eat any. After gaining 5 lbs. that week, Doc said perhaps
I shouldn't make such a big pot next time I told him "we" didn't need to worry about
the weight that I was putting on and that "we" would just worry about that after the birth
of the baby. He knew better than to argue with a preggo!!
~*kristina*~
Typical Liberal Pea
PeaNut 55,230
November 2002
Posts: 18,604
Layouts: 106
Loc: Fly Over Country
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:05:05 AM
This is a great thread. Unfortunately or fortunately (depending on how you look at it) I
don't have anything to add, no morning sickness, no cravings, no funny labor/delivery
story.
I did make my DH run out and get me a beer and some of my favorite tacos a couple of
hours after having DS.
PlaidFruit
In a world of spheres
PeaNut 84,430
May 2003
Posts: 6,405
Layouts: 29
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:11:11 AM
I love this thread. I was so afraid I'd have something to add to it before the end of my
pregnancy.
The best I can do is that in the first trimester, on at least one occasion that I can
remember (and more, I'm sure), I was reduced to tears because I told DH I was hungry
and we needed to eat and he didn't make it happen within a 10 minute time frame. I had
a thing for sandwiches in my first trimester. One day I insisted on going to McD's for
dinner because I *needed* a chicken sandwich and couldn't be talked into anything else,
except that while standing in line the craving passed. I was still reasonable enough to
order something else, but I really wanted to just leave and go get a club sandwich
elsewhere.
juswannascrap
PeaAddict
PeaNut 317,184
May 2007
Posts: 1,410
Layouts: 0
Loc: Land of Lincoln
Posted: 3/5/2008 1:48:06 PM
Once when I was pregnant with DS # 2, I was working as a cashier at WalMart. I was
about 3 or 4 months along and I could feel that old familiar nauseous feeling. I
remember telling myself it was mind over matter, I will not get sick, I will not get sick,
I will not throw up. About 30 seconds later.........I threw up, didn't quite make it all in
the trash can. I got it on myself, the cash register, the back wall. So embarassing, but
everyone was really nice.
Another time I was really craving blueberry pancakes, I thought about them all night at
work, so I stopped at the grocery store on my way home, bought blueberries and
pancake mix and made blueberry pancakes at 11pm.
Ohhh, one more I thought of. One time I got up in the middle of the night to go pee and
there was a spider in the bathroom! I woke up dh and made him kill the spider because
I couldn't go pee with the spider in there.
Jo21236
BucketHead
PeaNut 218,935
August 2005
Posts: 969
Layouts: 97
Loc: Baltimore MD
Posted: 3/5/2008 2:02:51 PM
I ate a piece of pizza and had a cola slurpee or a starbucks almost every day for my
entire third trimester.
clee321
It is always easier to edit
than it is to create
PeaNut 161,211
August 2004
Posts: 9,670
Layouts: 10
Loc: Land of Mold and Pollen
Posted: 3/5/2008 3:14:37 PM
I ate a piece of pizza and had a cola slurpee or a starbucks almost every
day for my entire third trimester
This is my dream 3rd trimester... *sigH*
LauraNthezoo
PeaFixture
PeaNut 31,316
March 2002
Posts: 3,065
Layouts: 71
Posted: 3/5/2008 3:16:47 PM
I tooted, but, um, more than a toot came out! My tummy was always in chaos with
my last pregnancy!
~bethM~
PeaAddict
PeaNut 202,126
April 2005
Posts: 1,014
Layouts: 0
Posted: 3/5/2008 3:41:29 PM
This actually happened a week after my daughter was born, but I attribute my actions to
wacky hormones.
Once when I was pregnant....I scared off 2 wouldbe intruders wearing only a nursing
bra *with the flaps open* and a pair of boxers!
here's the story. It was August 2004 the summer olympics were going on. It was 2am
and i was nursing my daughter in our living room, and I kept the TV on, on mute, so
that I had some light. I had just finished feeding her when a promo came up on the TV,
promising medal results, "right after the break" So, sleep deprieved as I was, I decided
I wanted to see who won the gymnastics gold. I put my daughter back in her crib, and
settled in the living room. My youknowwhats were super sore, so i was giving them
some fresh air and leaving the flaps open on my bra. Well, of course I fell dead asleep.
I was awoken by voices, and i scrambled for the remote, figuring it was the TV. Then I
realized that it was voices on my front porch, about 8 feet from where i was sitting. The
back of my recliner was against our big bay window, which had two tiny sections open.
They couldn't see me, but obviously could make out that the TV was on. After a
moment, they KNOCKED. I didn't budge. Knock again, and then this was their fatal
mistake they tried to open my door. It was locked, but at that moment all common
sense left my head. I leapt out of my chair, opened the door and unleashed a tirade
unlike anything I have ever done before. The men, two welldressed 50ish guys, a little
drunk, stumbled over each other and ran out of the yard. Only when I shut the door did i
realize what i wearing, or not wearing!
Morning revealed a very pretty little Porsche convertible, stuck in a field across the
street, and I saw them both there, watching it get towed. I doubt they will ever forget
what they saw that night!!! Don't mess with a Mama Bear!
SharlaG
Kingpin of something
undisclosed, but
important
PeaNut 88,246
May 2003
Posts: 36,986
Layouts: 0
Loc: Under a pile of dogs
Posted: 3/5/2008 3:50:45 PM
Thanks, Beth. That made me laugh out loud.
Posted: 3/5/2008 3:53:52 PM
When I was pregnant with our first baby, about three mos. before he was born, my dh
and I went out for dinner to celebrate our anniversary. Halfway through our meal an
older couple got up to leave, but stopped by our table first. The lady put her hand on my
scrappitypea
Executive Director of The
Madhouse
PeaNut 195,675
March 2005
Posts: 10,198
Layouts: 38
Loc: Cloud 9
shoulder, looked into my eyes and said, "You are glowing. Just glowing. You are going to
have a beautiful, healthy, wonderful baby." And she had this warm smile, and her sweet
husband nodded and winked at me. I was so overcome with emotion that I broke down
and wept right there in the restaurant. I can still feel the goose bumps that covered my
whole body. It was divine.
GoinNuts
aka: Fed_Up
PeaNut 20,196
August 2001
Posts: 11,128
Layouts: 21
Loc: Florida
Posted: 3/5/2008 4:05:23 PM
This is, without a doubt, the BEST thread ever on 2Peas. Every time it pops up, I have to
reread it and I laugh just as hard each time.
It bugs the crap out me, though, that after 4 pregnancies I can't think of single darn
psychotic, pgbrained episode of my own. I must've blocked 'em all out?
DD had a funny moment when she was pg with DGS that I'll share. She stopped in at her
work cafeteria to eat a donut one afternoon when she was HUGELY pregnant. An elderly
man walked by and asked, "Whatcha havin'?"
Perplexed by the question, because she thought it should be OBVIOUS what she was
having, she looked up at him and said, "A donut".
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:47:01 AM
Ok, It's official, I have flipped off of the deep end!! Last night I cried for 30 minutes
because I had to do laundry, and that meant I would have to fold socks and that just
sent me smooth over the edge!!
And today at work, I am on the verge of tears again, because I can't my pregnancy
ticker to work!!
STEPEANIE
PeaAddict
PeaNut 161,508
August 2004
Posts: 1,763
Layouts: 32
Loc: Home is where the
heart is!
Posted: 5/7/2008 3:30:49 AM
I have been reading this thread for hours and have laughed so hard many times i
thought i *might* pee my pants, thanksfully i didn't.
so here's my stories:
Once when i was preggers with DD#1 i had a dream i was kissing my cousin whose a
GIRL! Freaked me out!! I haven't seen to many weird dream topics here am i the only
one. I mean with each of my prenancies i had WEIRD dreams. Death, sex, car stunts,
and more...plain weird. I think i could turn some of them into Steven King novels they
were so weird!
With each pregnancy i blush at anything and everything. i can be at Mcdonalds and order
a big mac and i blush. I can be talking to my dr. about the baby and blush, it doesn't
matter what the topic is i just start blushing and it's so weird.
With all my preganacy i become the "clutz" i have fallen, tripped, bumped, dropped,
more things than i can count.
After DS's birth i was washing dishes and the warm water rushed over my hands
sending a rushing feeling down my body causing me to pee all over the kitchen floor. i
did this several time over those first few weeks postpartum. About the time he was a
year old i went to a party where there was a trampoline and thought oh, fun! NOT. I got
on, i jumped, i peed, everyone saw, NOT fun! at least peeing on my kitchen floor was in
MY house and not in front of the world! Bounce, pee, bounce, pee. needless to say i
bounced right off that thing and ran to the nearest bathroom.
With DD#1 i craved steak so bad that i ate it every night for weeks!
With DD#2 i have just been weepy. Still clutzy, still blushing, but with the other 2 i
didn't have much "hormornal" stuff, but this one makes me cry. i have cried more with
this one than the other 2 combined. commercials make me cry, movies, songs, playing
with my kids, you name it...i cry!
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
Posted: 5/21/2008 10:15:32 PM
btt.............. anybody?
Locked
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:57:11 PM
ok, I had to bump this back up to the top... there has to be more embarassing things
that have happened to other women while they were preggers... I need to feel better...
so spill it!!!!!!!!
2boysandwill
My turn to hit the
PEAnata!!!
PeaNut 121,208
December 2003
Posts: 13,269
Layouts: 74
Loc: SCV, CA
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:59:08 PM
ahhhh, this an oldie but goodie
MsKenJr
1 Pea, 2 Pea, Red Pea,
Blue Pea
PeaNut 80,289
April 2003
Posts: 751
Layouts: 4
Loc: Normal, Il
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:13:18 PM
crawled in the bed and started making the "sick cat noise" I'm sure MANY of
you know too well. Dh, in his sleepy haze, said "Get UP and go to the
bathroom. Stay there!" I'll get no sympathy from him, I tell you!!
OMG this thread is AWESOME! This is just one of the quotes that has me LAUGHING AND
SNORTING! LOL! I have three kids, so let me just think about it and I'll add my stories to
the thread!!
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:25:25 PM
Yup, I had to rebump it... I don't think I have laughed that hard in a long time... and I
know I deffinately felt much more normal after reading a lot of the posts in this thread!
TaeBoQn
BucketHead
PeaNut 18,338
July 2001
Posts: 850
Layouts: 1
Loc: Ohio
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:35:59 PM
The only thing remotely funny in all three of my pregnancies happened was when I was
pregnant with my first.
In deciding which hospital to deliver at I toured several of them. During one tour we
were all brought into a delivery room to be shown around. It was hot, crowded and
smelled like disinfectant which made my stomach turn a bit.
Add to that, the lady giving the tour thought if would be fun to show us what an epidural
needle looked like.
I passed out. Cold. In the hallway. I was helped immediately by several nurses who
reassured me watching a birth can be surprising. I had to break it to them that I was the
pregnant woman and I was only on a tour.
To make matters more funny, as the group exited the room, the tour lady looked at me
and said, "They are sure dropping like flies lately"
Sheesh...maybe scaring people with the needle wasn't a great idea. LOL
Suzanne
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:00:37 PM
I have officially gotten to the bladder control phase of the pregnancy, he kicks my
bladder so hard I almost PIMP, I sneeze, cough or throw up and same thing... The potty
better be close!! This didn't happen with my first, so this is a whole new inconvenience
to me!!!
BoSoxBeth
Working for SHALOM
PeaNut 44,871
August 2002
Posts: 17,770
Layouts: 8
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:10:05 PM
Once when I was pregnant....
I thought I was peeing in my pants, over and over again, but it turned out that my water
had broken. It was just coming out in a very slow, dripdrip fashion, not as a big gush
and I thought it was urine leaking!
alwaysa4Hmember
baseball is love.
PeaNut 154,126
June 2004
Posts: 15,385
Layouts: 217
Loc: Arkansas
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:32:33 PM
I love this thread. I haven't been pregnant yet (waiting to get out of college before all of
that) but this thread cracks me up!
CathyJoy
PeaFixture
PeaNut 21,595
September 2001
Posts: 3,188
Layouts: 9
Loc: IL
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:38:06 PM
Once when I was pregnant....
I was about 6 months pg, a mom/friend was here to pick up her kids. We sat around the
kitchen table chatting and I got a little tickle in my throat and coughed. Yeah, I PEED
WET my pants.
I had slipcovers on the chairs, soaked.
So embarrassed.
CathyJoy
PeaFixture
PeaNut 21,595
September 2001
Posts: 3,188
Layouts: 9
Loc: IL
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:43:36 PM
Once when I was pregnant....
I was about 6 months pg, a mom/friend was here to pick up her kids. We sat around the
kitchen table chatting and I got a little tickle in my throat and coughed. Yeah, I PEED
WET my pants.
I had slipcovers on the chairs, soaked.
So embarrassed.
redfox
PeaAddict
PeaNut 46,578
August 2002
Posts: 1,731
Layouts: 0
Loc: The great state of
Crazy!
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:58:41 PM
love.this.thread.
must. bump.
btt!
anthacat
No, I didn't go to KSU!
PeaNut 103,801
August 2003
Posts: 14,306
Layouts: 133
Posted: 6/3/2008 3:31:02 PM
how have i never seen this thread? it's awesome!
Kelpea
Owner of "best tacky
invitation" thread
EVER
PeaNut 176,832
November 2004
Posts: 14,039
Layouts: 2
Loc: Stalking Dave Gahan
Posted: 6/3/2008 3:35:50 PM
When I was enciente with DD (1st pregnancy), I remember being huge and standing in
the subway car during rush going home from work in NYC. A young creep guy was
sitting in one of those seats you normally give up to someone who obviously needs it. I
waited for him to give it to me and he blew me off. As my car door opened, I told him
"thanks a lot for giving up your seat for me." He replied "oh, you're welcome." As the
subway doors closed I yelled "Jerky NY a^%hole!" Oops.
Posted: 6/3/2008 3:40:36 PM
once when I was pregnant (with my daughter because I haven't done anything like this
with this one) we met good friends for dinner each night before class. She was due
exactly four weeks ahead of me so we went thru childbirthing classes together. We ate
Mexican that particular night and I stuffed myself. I had finally dropped, it was the last
monica8773
Deep in the heart of
Texas
PeaNut 188,192
January 2005
Posts: 9,426
Layouts: 11
Loc: Hee Haw Y'all!
night of class and that chimichanga was GOOD. Our last class was the meet and greet
off all the classes where they allowed reps from the hospital and different insurance
providers to come in and answer questions of what to expect ect. We were a little
behind schedule and had to sit on the back row. Our friends nabbed the two empty seats
right in front of us the next row up and we went to the middle of the back row and sat
behind them. I looked down and realized my shoe was untied. CRAP. I bent over to tie it
and I guess there was so much pressure on my tummy that when I came back upright I
belched. I mean I sounded like a man. You know that moment when the room gets silent
and it echos what ever you do. yeah, that was it. you could have heard a pin drop and
there I was blowing an octave only acheieved by men.
To make matters worse I felt my skin get hot so I knew immediately that my face was
fire engine red. About that time my husband turned to look at me with a level of discuss
that only parrallels a nasty diaper. Our friends and the two rows before them all turned
to see who it was. I had no where to go. Redfaced, husband beside me looking as if I
was wearing a vomit hat...and all I could say was "excuse me", in a very mousy voice. I
just wanted to die honestly.
paparazzimommy
i pea, u pea, i can't see
my pea pea
PeaNut 220,449
August 2005
Posts: 7,503
Layouts: 27
Loc: 3 blocks and a blinking
light past BFE, TX
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:17:01 PM
I was actually upset, and there's dh cheering me on telling me how much we
needed that. Yeah, bite me. My feet are soaking wet, and it was forceful
enough my underwear fell off.
While I was being stitched up following my episiotomy, I heard a large fart
rip through the room. I gasped and asked if that was me. I had a full spinal
block and had no idea what was going on down there unless I asked. DH was
killing himself laughing, crying and holding ds, and the resident who was
doing the stitching looked up and said he had no idea what I was talking
about. Good doctor.
OH...that's a good husband and doctor!!! I thought I would die reading taht!! hehehehe
I love this thread!!
I don't know if I shared this before. When I was pregnant with DS#2 I got a stomach bug
and Dh thought it was just pregnancy stuff. But I told him it was not. (ya know, I had
been pregnant before!) Well, all of a sudden, I ran to the bathroom. I was puking my
guts up. Well, when I puke, I pee. He tries to come in the room to help me (seriously
WHY?! WTF are you going to do?!). HIs mom is with him. IN the middle of puking, I'm
screaming at him to get out. Cause I pee on myself, and we were still newlyweds, so he
didn't know this about me. It was horrible.
Then with DS#3 I had horrible morning sickness. Not every day, but when it hit, I
couldn't stop. I was on my way to work in morning rush hour in Dallas, TX. and it hit. So
I just held my mouth shut, till I pulled over and I pulled into a Walgreens parking lot and
couldn't find a spot without people or traffic, so I chose traffic. So here I am hanging out
my door, peeing and puking all over the parking lot!! It was horrible. Then I had to call
my boss to tell her what happened, so I could go home and change and come to work.
DoodleMonster
PeaNut
PeaNut 85,404
May 2003
Posts: 66
Layouts: 11
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:36:43 PM
Once when I was pregnant, I was craving a hot dog and pulled over to the nearest stand
to pick one up...got in the car and decided to eat and drive...took a bite and swallowed a
whole sport pepper...made me so sick I had to pull over to puke...wiped my mouth and
pulled out the other sport peppers so I can finish the hot dog.
Once when I was pregnant...well more than once....I would crave coffee with butter
cookies....so I would serve myself a cup and take a sip and eat a cookie, then put the
whole cup on the floor with the rest of the cookies to watch my chihuahua enjoy my
dessert and stay up all night....LOL
kellcow
When life throws you
lemons have a
margarita!!!
PeaNut 66,953
February 2003
Posts: 6,107
Layouts: 37
Loc: Michigan
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:42:01 PM
I don't have kids yet, but this is soooo funny!!!
paparazzimommy
i pea, u pea, i can't see
my pea pea
PeaNut 220,449
August 2005
Posts: 7,503
Layouts: 27
Loc: 3 blocks and a blinking
light past BFE, TX
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:00:12 PM
Oh I forgot about my DH trying to cook one of my fav quick meals!! poor thing...
He usually beat me home on weeknights, so he thought it would be nice to start dinner.
I walk in the door and almost puked my guts up! I ran into the bedroom, screaming
"WTH is that smell!?" He comes in, I'm under the covers, pillow on my face and he is
like "WTF is wrong with you?"
He was making a tuna fish dinner. I love tuna fish, but Gabe (baby) did not. Poor DH. He
had to hurry up eat, feed the other 2 kids, clean up (usually the cook doesn't cleannot
that night!) and put the food in the fridge and then spray the whole house so I wouldn't
smell it anymore. I ate pb&j that night.
then another night he got brave and decided to make shrimp alfredo. I told him he was
brave since the tuna incident, but we went for it. The smell didn't kill me, so I fixed a
plate. Put the first bite in my mouth and spit it on out on my plate!! He called me a b!tch
and still refuses to make that meal.
DanaPea
Quietly sneaking
PeaNut 212,612
July 2005
Posts: 8,870
Layouts: 0
Loc: Home
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:03:04 PM
I threw up on myself in the shower. More than once.
Burst into tears because one of the cats didn't feel "loved" enough.
Screamed at my husband for repeating "Taco! TACO!" a bunch of times and giggling.
Hey, it made me want a taco.
Told a grocery clerk if she dared put the cat litter or soda on the bottom of the cart after
I moved them I would ram her with the cart. Hey, I was 8 and a half months pregnant.
Coughed so hard when sick I puked up a 32 oz soda.
pegaroo
This too shall Pea!
PeaNut 259,418
April 2006
Posts: 8,109
Layouts: 0
Loc: AZ again!
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:50:55 PM
I made cookie dough, ate a ton of it and than called my BIL who is a doctor (Psychiatrist
and Neurologist) to confess. He assured my actions would not kill me or my unborn
child. He said if I needed it eat it! We still giggle about it today.
MsKenJr
1 Pea, 2 Pea, Red Pea,
Blue Pea
PeaNut 80,289
April 2003
Posts: 751
Layouts: 4
Loc: Normal, Il
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:28:14 PM
I argued and screamed at my husband on the phone because he was not
listening and he did not let me talk to find out I was actually in the middle
of checking my messages.
OMG!!! I am DYING! I snorted and everything! I'm only on page three, but THIS is so far
the best!!!
MsKenJr
1 Pea, 2 Pea, Red Pea,
Blue Pea
PeaNut 80,289
April 2003
Posts: 751
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:44:19 PM
This is a favorite pregnacy story of mine
I was 8 plus months pregnant, and a friend of mine was trying to conceive. On this day
she was SURE she was pregnant and NEEDED a pregnancy test. I was going over to see
her anyway, so I said I'd pick it up for her! I go into a walgreens, get the test, waddle to
the TEENAGE BOY behind the register (I swear to God) and toss the box on the counter.
He looks at the box, looks at my belly, then our eyes meet. Don't ask me how I stayed
calm, but I said without batting an eye "My husband thinks I'm pregnant."
Layouts: 4
Loc: Normal, Il
courtneysmom
BucketHead
PeaNut 222,558
September 2005
Posts: 839
Layouts: 0
Loc: washington for now
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:36:43 AM
I was about 6 months pregnant with my first child when dh decided that he wasn't going
into the delivery room with me, needless to say I had a meltdown, and finally told him
"If you're not going to be in the delivery room, I'm not having this baby"
courtneysmom
BucketHead
PeaNut 222,558
September 2005
Posts: 839
Layouts: 0
Loc: washington for now
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:36:54 AM
I was about 6 months pregnant with my first child when dh decided that he wasn't going
into the delivery room with me, needless to say I had a meltdown, and finally told him
"If you're not going to be in the delivery room, I'm not having this baby"
ibeme
PeaAddict
PeaNut 218,696
August 2005
Posts: 1,353
Layouts: 47
Loc: Surrounded by
scrapping supplies
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:03:24 AM
This is a great thread! I had a horrible cold with my first child. Couldn't sleep. Our front
door had a lock on it that set by pushing a button on the inside of the door. Anyway, I
went outside at about 3 in the morning barefoot to try to get the cold air (yes, there was
a few feet of snow) to clear my nose. It helped, but when I tried to get back in I was
locked out of the house.
I COULD NOT get my husband to wake up by pounding on the door. Luckily, across the
street the neighbor was still awake. So, I crossed the street in my bare feet, in the
snow, to use his phone. It wasn't funny then, but it is now!
lakat
Ancient Ancestor of
Pea
PeaNut 298,927
February 2007
Posts: 5,860
Layouts: 6
Loc: Atlanta
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:38:18 AM
This is a great thread...
Okay, so when I was pregnant with DS#1, I craved certain things for a week or two at a
time. Baked ziti, matzah ball soup, etc. Well, I got into the Wendy's phase and we lived
in Long Island. So DH would get off the train and stop at the local Wendy's and bring
home dinner almost every night. Well, the first night he brings home something with
mustard on it for me, which I DESPISE and he knows it, but his burger was perfect.
Second night, his burger is fine and mine isn't even a burgerit's chicken and spicy, no
less! Once again, something I hate. The THIRD night he brings home his perfect burger
and NO CHEESE and mine. I picked it up, looked at it and winged it at his head! Tomato
and lettuce and mayo everywhere... he's just gaping at me. I'm like, "THREE Fing nights
in a row! You couldn't bother to check?! All you had to do was open the bagwe KNOW
the teenagers who work there don't give a damn, but I guess you don't either! I fing
hate you!" He almost cried, I was SO mean to him!
Also when pregnant with DS#1, we were talking one night and I just lost it for no
reason. I stood up and faced him, my belly sticking out far enough to poke him and I
was like, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH! You're a jerk!" And
Ishoved him, hard, like only a pregnant woman can do. And my very mildmannered
husband was looking at me, his eyes got misty, and he's like, "I don't understandwhat
did I do?" And I was like "THIS!" And I pointed to my belly. "YOU DID THIS AND NOW
YOU'RE NOT HELPING ME CARRY IT!"
Next night when I got home he was cleaning the toilets, something to this day I pretty
much have to be in bed DYING for him to do... LOL
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:36:08 AM
amythyst
someone pass the
crayons!
PeaNut 169,054
September 2004
Posts: 8,686
Layouts: 176
Loc: in my own little world
but it's ok everyone knows
me here
He looks at the box, looks at my belly, then our eyes meet. Don't ask me
how I stayed calm, but I said without batting an eye "My husband thinks I'm
pregnant."
BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!
crystalinnc
AncestralPea
PeaNut 124,557
January 2004
Posts: 4,564
Layouts: 132
Loc: eastern NC
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:14:21 AM
Oh wow! This thread is totally hilarious. And at 8 months pregnant (or is it 9?) i
suddenly feel normal again.
Maybe I should have DH read it, so he sees just how normal I am right now!
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
Posted: 6/6/2008 7:41:46 AM
Had another embarassing moment yesterday... I went for Physical Therapy yesterday
for SEVERE back pain and spasms in my lower back and left arm/leg, The kicker is... I
have an HMO insurance!! Which means I have to have a referral and a pre auth for
every damn breath I take!!!!! Super Frustrating! But it's cheaper to have a baby on an
HMO...
Anyhow, the little wench at the Phys Therapist (Receptionist) had not verified my ins and
done all of the authorizing and such BEFORE I got there.. I was in a huge amount of pain
BTW! So after waiting 15 minutes to be called back, she decides to tell me, with MUCH
attitude, that they would not be able to see me today because I needed a pre
authorization.
I LOST IT!!!! She had rolled her eyes at me no less than 5 times so far, and had told me
that MY back pain was not HER problem, to go have my Dr. get me some pain killers,
and that back pain is just part of pregnancy that I was going to have to deal with! I had
a meltdown at that point... Somewhere in my subconscious decided a meltdown was
better than reaching across the counter and dismembering this idiot!!!!
a scrappin gal
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 208,960
June 2005
Posts: 2,496
Layouts: 12
Loc: Somewhere
Posted: 6/6/2008 8:39:25 AM
I love this thread
The funniest:
I had a complete hysterical meltdown... I dropped to my knees in the kitchen, shaking
and sobbing uncontrollably...I cried so hard that I couldn't breathe and no sound came
out... I soaked through an entire roll of paper towels before I realized that I was
hysterical because...
... I couldn't peel a hard boiled egg.
Unit; I got to this one & I was only on page one!
Once when I was 9 months pg...I had the flu I threw up out my nose, my mouth, I pead
AND dirtied my undies all at ONCE!...I then cried because I couldn't believe the only
place I wasn't leaking was my ears......
Here's mine:
8 mths PG & traveling from NY to Maine to visit inlaws & my mucus plug passed while
using a reststop not knowing what this was I totally freaked out while in the stall
some lady actaully looked in the bowl & told me what it was & simply walked out. Seven
days later DS was born @ 36 weeks I guess the OB was going to tell me what to
expect at the next visit or was he?
Posted: 6/6/2008 11:55:25 AM
btt
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
Posted: 6/6/2008 11:57:45 AM
Did it explode? Cause I shot the door off of my microwave last pregnancy when I
decided to try to put my birthdate as the time!!! The door shot across the kitchen!!!!!
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:34:42 AM
BTT
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
Posted: 6/9/2008 12:28:47 PM
Woke my DH up last night at 0200... decided I wanted scrambled eggs and toast... he
just stared at me, dumfounded, shook his head and went back to bed...
The eggs were yummy BTW!!!
scrappindzny
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 315,763
May 2007
Posts: 2,078
Layouts: 3
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:03:26 PM
Now that I'm in my 9th month of pregnancy...I finally had a "Once when I was Pregnant"
story.
It is a little bit on the yucky side, though...
I have had the worst gag relex for this entire pregnancy. Initially, MANY smells sent me
into a gagging fit. These days, I get especially gaggy when people are talking about
pooping and/or farting. If I use a public restroom and someone is in there doing their
thing...I have to leave or I'll start gagging.
WELL, we had a garage sale this past weekend. We had lots and lots of folks come
through our garage. One item that we had in our garage was a swivel rocker/recliner. A
woman came into our garage to tryout the chair. She was on the overweight side of
things and had a very tough time getting back out of said chair. Well, nature (and
straining to get out of the chair) triggered her to have gas. She proceeded to walk out of
our garage...farting out loud with every single step. I'm sitting in my chair looking at my
motherinlaw fighting back the gag reflex. THEN THE SMELL HIT. I ended up having
to dart out of my chair and into the basement where I was gagging so hard that I did
actually throw up. I barely made it to the potty. It felt like morning sickness all over
again (except in the 9th month of pregnancy). Thankfully, Ms. Stinky was gone from the
garage when I went back upstairs. I had to spray down the place with an air freshener. I
KNOW that had I not been pregnant I would never have "tossed my cookies" over
someone having gas in my presence. But, thanks to the wonders of pregnancy
hormones...I was able to post my first "Once when I was pregnant" story.
Sorry if I grossed you all out!
Leslie
pea_pants
PeaAddict
PeaNut 374,653
May 2008
Posts: 1,168
Layouts: 6
Loc: Schertz, TX
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:06:23 PM
OMG! I would have PIMP!! How did you keep a straight face when she got the walkin
farts???
scrappindzny
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 315,763
May 2007
Posts: 2,078
Layouts: 3
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:12:42 PM
I didn't laugh because I felt really bad. She looked really embarassed. I was more
worried about gagging in her presence than anything else. It was NOT an ideal situation!
joyce.k.b.
PeaFixture
PeaNut 370,129
April 2008
Posts: 3,531
Layouts: 44
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:33:25 PM
I have never seen this one beforehysterical
I'll play:
Once when I was pregnant...I was trying to manicure my lady garden but couldn't see
over my big pregnant belly, so I was using the bathroom mirror and a pair of scissors
when I snipped myself. Oh the pain...
But the humiliation didn't come until I went to my next ob/gyn visit. As he was
examining me he asked me in that very parental male doctor kind of way, "what
happened here"? I told him about the hair trimming incident and his reply is what
embarrased me so much.
Me: I was trimming my hair and snipped myself with scissors
Doctor: Normally an injury like this only occurs from abnormal sexual activity or riding
a horse
I don't know what he saw down there, but I turned about ten shades of red.
I can't believe I just shared that
mom2eandem
PeaNut
PeaNut 257,996
April 2006
Posts: 117
Layouts: 0
Loc: Queen Creek, AZ
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:20:13 PM
When I was pregnant with my #1 I worked in a preschool. I have NEVER liked tuna ever
before. One of my 3 year olds had tuna salad and crackers for lunch. I literally stood
behind her and looked over her shoulder and watched as she ate them all! I wanted
SOOO BADLY to ask her if I could have one! I went home and made a big bowl of tuna
salad and crackers and ate the entire thing. Felt sick to my tummy and NEVER had it
again.
mom2eandem
PeaNut
PeaNut 257,996
April 2006
Posts: 117
Layouts: 0
Loc: Queen Creek, AZ
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:28:46 PM
Oh and as I was laboring I pooed. I was mortified. Luckily I had a great nurse. She said
(in a cute southern drawl), "oh honey, I'm shocked when gals DON'T do that!" If I could
have turned invisible I would have.
TreeLover
Liberally
conservative,
conservatively
liberal
PeaNut 401,406
November 2008
Posts: 11,069
Layouts: 0
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:27:23 AM
This is just beyond hilarious. Thank you to everyone who shared for a great laugh. I
started reading this last night and finished this morning, super way to start my day.
monicaszoo
PeaNut
PeaNut 217,022
August 2005
Posts: 239
Layouts: 7
Posted: 1/22/2009 7:18:07 AM
When I was in labor with my daughter I got extremely slap happy. We were going on
hour 20 and I was exhausted but thought everything was hysterical. My very cute obgyn
went to examine me and I said to him, "It would have been nice if you had taken me out
to dinner first." My husband tried to shush me.
An hour later I had an entire room full of people as my daughter was the first forceps
delivery in the hospital in over 10 years, I started to yell, "Charge Admission we can pay
for college that way, and is there a janitor that HASN'T seen my hoohah?"
I think the best part was, I'm in hour 2 of pushing and I start to sing My dinaling from
the Simpsons. My dingaling, my dingaling, oh wont you please play with my dingaling?
My nurse was in hysterics and my poor husband looked like he wanted to put tape over
my mouth to keep me quiet.
brlooke
That's what PEA
said.
PeaNut 246,034
January 2006
Posts: 8,353
Layouts: 1
Loc: Maryland
Posted: 1/22/2009 7:26:27 AM
Yay. I love it when this thread gets revived! I'm still waiting for my own stories to add.
wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack
sniffer!
PeaNut 29,699
February 2002
Posts: 24,524
Layouts: 92
Loc: SE Washington
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:45:28 PM
Bumping this thread to find out how many views
Abbysmeme
BucketHead
PeaNut 124,043
January 2004
Posts: 837
Layouts: 2
Loc: by the bayou
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:14:25 PM
Well, I will add my story to the list.
Once, when I was pregnant, I won a pingpong tournament! I had gone to the tourney
with my husband, who was registered, to just watch him. He was eliminated right away.
There were only 3 girls registered and they could not play doubles with just the 3 of
them. One of the girls came over to me in the stands and asked if I would play with
them. I stood up for her to see my belly, but said that I would play, thinking I would be
of no help to them at all.
Well, I guess either I was better than I thought, or they were not that good because my
partner and I won! The other team was very surprised that I did so well.
I still have that trophy and it has been almost 34 years ago that I won it!
Catz
PeaAddict
PeaNut 28,851
February 2002
Posts: 1,228
Layouts: 0
Loc: Ohio, the heart of it
all
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:24:38 PM
These are so funny!!!
Once, when I was pregnant, I cried during the movie A Few Good Men. You know, the
courtroom scene where the one notsosmart Marine is bewildered and the other Marine
("Hal.... Hal!" tells him to answer the question.
Yeah, I lost it. Just started bawling and DH was just staring at me, as if I was Jessica
Simpson talking about tuna or something.
But in my pregnant mind, they were being too MEAN to that guy. lol!
andreasmom
International Pea of
Mystery
PeaNut 32,276
March 2002
Posts: 6,558
Layouts: 102
Loc: Pacific NW
Posted: 3/2/2009 7:23:02 PM
btt
emilyjones
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 357,351
January 2008
Posts: 2,921
Layouts: 78
Loc: Puyallup, WA
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:30:51 PM
Once when I was pregnant:
I ate hot dogs covered in Italian Salad Dressing.
I once made DH drive to McDonald's at midnight..and made him tell them they HAD to
make me a Breakfast Burrito..even though McD's only serves breakfast from 6am to
11am or whatever it is...yeah..they made it. But only cuz the girl workin' the window
was very pregnant too!
I have walked into the bathroom, gone pee, washed my hands and had to pee again
from the sound of the running water..repeat process.
Threw up in a Target trashcan upon entering the store, because EWW, target smells like
stale popcorn.
Have probably eaten my weight in plain M&M's.
Drank my weight in cranberry juice. MMMMM, cranberry juice.
Took castor oil 6 different times to start labor with DD...none of it worked and I went 43
weeks pregnant. The look of oil make me gag now. BLECH.
amythyst
someone pass the
crayons!
PeaNut 169,054
September 2004
Posts: 8,686
Layouts: 176
Loc: in my own little
world but it's ok
everyone knows me here
Posted: 3/25/2009 6:28:35 PM
btt just because this place is goofy crazy tonight and it's time for some laughs!!
snackentart
BucketHead
PeaNut 358,453
January 2008
Posts: 889
Layouts: 28
Loc: The LEFT Coast
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:57:48 PM
Okay, once when I was pregnant...I was at my Parent's house and my Mom asked me to
help her with dinner.
She asked me to cut up some raw chicken while she ran to the store. I said okay, no
problem, and started to do it. After a few minutes I was BAWLING and felt so ANGRY
having to handle raw chicken!
I don't know why, it's never bothered me before, or after that...but for some reason it
was so disturbing to me at that moment.
Pea a Rican
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 270,600
July 2006
Posts: 2,421
Layouts: 17
Loc: Voting for OBAMA!
Posted: 3/26/2009 12:25:07 AM
ok, once when I was pregnant...I was in a commissary at a naval base near the meat
section (gag) and I threw up in my mouth and swallowed it because I couldn't make it to
the bathroom!!!
OMG, just typing that makes me !
Oh and I had a glass of wine when I was prego with my DS....
wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack
sniffer!
PeaNut 29,699
February 2002
Posts: 24,524
Layouts: 92
Loc: SE Washington
Posted: 3/26/2009 3:09:38 AM
Once when I was pregnant(about 4 months), my 3 year old got stuck in the McDonald's
Playland(you know, the kind with the tunnels and slide?), and I had to crawl up there
and get him. I was gagging all the way up because it smelled so awful in there!
Fortunately, I didn't make a mess.
a&tmama
lurker
extraordinaire
PeaNut 36,148
April 2002
Posts: 5,783
Layouts: 194
Loc: PA
Posted: 3/26/2009 12:16:55 PM
With every pregnancy I get crazy jealous over any woman who exists and imagine that
they are all out to end my marriage.
With my first, my dh had gone back to school and worked part time. I was working full
time to put him through school and worked the night shift.
So one night, I became so convinced that he was being seduced by one of the high
schoolers that worked at Wendy's with him that I left work and drove over to the
Wendy's at midnight. Dh and girl were closing up and I just sat in the shadows in my car
waiting for them to come out.
When they left, I stormed out to meet them and freaked out on this 20 something girl
for wanting my dh. She just started laughing because apparently she was pregnant too
and understood. But I was horrified beyond belief.
Now, dh works in a secutiry clearanced building, and as much as I want to go and stalk
him, I can't or I'd get escorted out by security
camerashy
BucketHead
PeaNut 3,100
March 2000
Posts: 927
Layouts: 0
Posted: 4/19/2009 10:42:56 PM
Ok, even though this thread was started over 3 years ago, I am going to add mine.
Once when I was 8 months pregnant, I decided to take my 5yo DS out to CiCis for dinner
since DH was out of town. I was looking smart in my black leggings and black and white
polkadotted shirt so I slipped on my shoes and dashed out the door.
After we had made several trips to the buffet, DS looked down and said, 'Mom, your
shoes' with shock in his voice. I looked down, struggling to see my feet from under the
protruding belly, and much to my horror, realized I had on one BLACK shoe and one
WHITE shoe!