The Austin Cut - Issue #5

literary fraud

pagE 11

wavves

pagE 13

October Show Finder!
page 15

volunteerING disasters
at a hospital not too far from here
by Curtis Grey Page 7

CoNtENts
IssuE 5 oCtoBER 2011
Volunteering Disasters at a Hospital not too Far From Here . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
This guy stumbled into some weird shit as a volunteer in a hospital not too far from here ...
by Curtis Grey

FILM & BO O KS
two reViews oF Moneyball anD tHree otHer tHings to wHet your baseball appetite . . . . 9
A book and a movie about baseball statistics?
by Wint Huskey

personals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

21

How to cHeat literary DeatH: a reView oF tea of tHis HappeneD: unusual eVents in past octobers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 ulaanbaatar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Postseason failure, rage, and fuck-ups during Major League Baseball playoffs
by Tim Lambert

Somehow this author got away with writing two debut novels
by Brandon Roberts

FO OD
serVeD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Food service is built on trust
by Marie Scott

MUSIC
wHere’s tHe crowD? waVVes, peelanDer-Z, anD many otHers at wilD Frontier Fest . . . . . 14
Proof that internet hype doesn’t always translate to reality
by Josh Newport

get ‘em wHile tHey’re ripe . . . . . . . . . . 6
Local and seasonal food at Austin’s farmers’ markets
by Jam Sanitchat

october sHows list . . . . . . . . . . .

We’ve slaved over our computers to bring you a music calendar that actually helps you find good shows

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The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

s ERV Ed
staFF
Food service is built on trust
by Marie Scott
People always think that I’m Mexican. Maybe it’s because I speak Spanish really well. Maybe it’s because I have dark hair. I think it’s mostly because I used to work almost exclusively at Mexican restaurants. I used to live in Washington State where I got my first restaurant job as a hostess at El Sarape. I soon quit and moved to another city where I got a similar job at El Toro. El Toro’s owners knew the owners of El Sarape well. The restaurants were ran almost exactly the same, only El Toro had it together a little bit more. Employees worked harder, made more money, and were nicer. Nobody was stressed the way they were at El Sarape, because the restaurant was better staffed. I worked shorter shifts and made more tips. And as is customary in most family-owned restaurants, I got a free meal every time I worked. El Toro’s food was awesome. I ate at work basically every single day, if not twice a day (if I worked a double). Everything on the menu was free to employees with the exception of seafood. About a year later, I had to move. I gave El Toro two months’ notice, letting them know I would be starting school in another city in the fall. After moving, I job hunted for about a week in my old hometown before stumbling across The Mayan. I was hired the day of my interview. I worked a full shift and started getting to know my coworkers. When my shift was over, my manager asked if I would like to eat my free meal. I’m always hungry (no, I’m not fat) and I wanted to try out their food, so I obliged. He showed me my options on a computer screen. I must say I was a little disappointed. The employee menu consisted of five simple items: taco, enchilada, nachos, hamburger, or salad. This was a serious down-grade from my previous meal options. It didn’t take me long to figure out that the owner, Jose Sanchez, was cheap at best and didn’t give a shit about his employees. It took me about as much time to realize that everyone who worked for him hated his guts. Eventually, I didn’t need to order my employee meal on the computer. All I had to do was hint to the cooks what kind of food I liked, and they would whip me up something special. I probably ate a pound of unpaid-for guacamole on a daily basis. When I moved to Texas, I soon realized that the free meal I had been allowed to eat at The Mayan, however meager it seemed in comparison to El Toro, was much more than I would be offered here. It took only a couple of corporate restaurant training weeks and I began to miss working for a small family-ran place. I was excited when I got hired at El Meson on South Lamar. Yves and Atticus Macias (brothers) had just opened up their first full service restaurant. According to them, they had waited tables for years when they were presented with the opportunity to buy a commercial produce company. This venture soon proved successful and they wound up with a meat company, a small restaurant on Burleson Road, and a lot of commercial and residential real estate in the South Lamar area (their newest acquisition being La Reyna on South 1st St). I figured that surely Yves and Atticus, who used to be waiters themselves, would treat their employees with utmost respect and appreciation. At the very least, I expected I would soon be eating dinner at work again. I thought wrong. I can honestly say I have never been treated as disrespectfully as I was at El Meson. When I was treated like shit by Jose Sanchez, I endured it because I made so much money working for him. But working at a brand new restaurant, with underpriced food, for $2.13 an hour, was a different situation entirely. I think the reason I’m still so butt-hurt about being fired from El Meson is that I should’ve quit long before things ever got to that point. It’s so stupid not to feed your employees. Yves and Atticus couldn’t be at El Meson all of the time and they had the same problem Jose Sanchez had – everyone utterly detested them. Nobody respected Yves and Atticus. And none of their employees gave a shit if the restaurant made a little extra money, because the owners didn’t care whether or not the staff did (I was told this explicitly on the night of my firing). Cooks didn’t care if the kitchen had a ticket; all anyone had to do was ask. Servers didn’t ring up extra tortillas or chips and salsa for their tables because “the customer might get mad,” and the money would just be going into Yves’ undersized jeans pocket (he’s 6’3” and wears pants that would fit his ten year old son). Recently someone told me I was excessively stuck on the $2.13 per hour problem. She said that in New York, waiters used to make zero per hour. Still, she had plenty of cool bosses and good jobs. When she found out about no free meals here in Texas, however, it was a different story. I think she’s right. I think that if someone paid me $2.13, or even zero, and treated me as if they were paying me $10 per hour, then it wouldn’t be an issue. Feeding employees costs most restaurants close to nothing; it’s simply an insignificant benefit of working in the foodservice industry. Yves and Atticus feel like they can’t trust anyone and, at this point, they probably can’t. Once everyone knows you’ll do anything to save a dime and that you’re a huge jerk, you can’t trust anyone to see your best interests in every situation. If El Meson had taken better care of me, I would probably still work there. In short, to all you restaurant owners and managers out there: if you aren’t giving your peeps a free meal, I can guarantee it’s going to cost you in the long run.

Editor-in-Chief
Brandon Roberts

Managing Editor
Lisa van Dam-Bates

Contributing Editor
Josh Newport

Copy Editor
Nick Longoria

Contributors & Columnists
Curtis Grey, Wint Huskey, Tim Lambert, Marie Scott

Cover Art
Shane Campos

Advertising Director
Lisa van Dam-Bates

about tHis issue

We worked our asses off to finish this issue. It took a lot: late nights, early mornings, sweat (as we sat in our cars and sped around the city, barely meeting deadlines), hangovers, etc. The feature comes from someone we met, who volunteered at a hospital not too far from Austin. His story is true, the names are not. The show list is a new addition and we tried to make it as accurate as possible. Forgive us if you find a mistake. Respond to our personal ads, too, while you’re at it.

writers!

The Austin Cut wants to publish innovative writers, people with ideas we haven’t heard before, and anything remotely entertaining. Basically, we’re sick of reading the same crap over and over again, slightly reworded, in every publication. I realize this is Austin, but please, please, please no psychos or conspiracists (unless you’re the ones running the conspiracy). And yes that includes all that corny 9/11 stuff. Writers: look at your work. If a lot of it ends with a quote, rethink your writing strategy. Otherwise—SEND IT IN! We value talent.

contact
E-Mail
[email protected]

Drink oF tHe montH
by Lisa van Dam-Bates

The Austin Cut
1006 Banister Lane #806 Austin, Texas 78704

Mint Tea Julep
1.5-2 oz. Rye whiskey

whiskey to taste. Don’t add all 20 oz. of tea to your drink. We made extra so you don’t have to rebrew between drinks!

I used a spearmint and peppermint tea blend, but either or would do the trick. 4 oz. cold strong brewed mint tea Splash of real maple syrup
Note: Suggested serving is for one drink, feel free to add extra

Brew a pitcher of tea (about 20 oz. of boiling water and 3-4 teabags) and let it steep for about fifteen minutes. Place the pitcher in the refrigerator overnight or for several hours, until cool. In a shaker, pour in the whiskey, 4 oz. of tea, and maple syrup (If you don’t have real maple syrup, substitute honey or agave nectar). Shake well and serve over ice. Garnish with a mint leaf and or raspberry if you’re feelin’ fancy.

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The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

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get ‘em wHile tHey’re ripe
by Jam Sanitchat
Eating locally and seasonally is not a trend, it is a lifestyle. Fruits and vegetables are abundant at specific times of the year in specific areas for a reason. In a hot climate like Texas, fruits and vegetables with high water content, like watermelon, cantaloupe, cucumber, or summer squash, will last through the hot season. Our bodies need this water to make up for dehydration from the heat. Eating in season is necessary for the body to benefit from the nutrients found in vegetables at their peak ripeness. Foods that travel from far away often have to be picked too early, stored, and possibly sprayed to preserve their freshness. Some are shipped and travel across the country or, many times, continents. The further the foods travel, the less nutritious they are. The benefits of eating locally are endless. When we talk about food, the first thing we think of is taste. Food is supposed to taste good, and fresher food definitely tastes better. Imagine eating green beans picked the day before they arrive in your kitchen or peaches that are tree-ripened and ready to be consumed right when you get home. By eating seasonally and locally, you help save the energy it takes to store and transport the food. Local seasonal foods are also better for you because they’re fresher and have more nutrients. In addition, you help the local economy by supporting local farmers. It’s more sustainable.

Local and seasonal food at Austin’s farmers’ markets Eating in season and buying local is easy
to do. Make a point to visit local farmers’ markets and see what the farmers bring in. Buying at farmers’ markets doesn’t cost more. For example, with $20 I bought: 1lb of ground pork, two summer squashes, fresh pasta, two bell peppers, a 1/4lb of mushrooms, one tomato, a bunch of basil, and a red onion. I made fresh pasta tossed with summer veggies and ground pork. This meal can feed four hungry people. The recipe? Heat olive oil in a pan. Then throw in 2 cloves of minced garlic, add half of a thinly sliced onion, and 1/2lb of the ground pork. Cook until brown. Then add the 2/3 of the veggies (chopped bite sized) in this order: onions, mushrooms, squash and bell peppers. Season with sea salt. Toss cooked pasta in with the veggies, add basil, diced tomatoes, sprinkle with some parmesan cheese, and you’re done. The next day, I had enough leftover veggies and ground pork to make mixed vegetables over rice for two people. You can start eating locally-sourced, seasonal foods by visiting your local farmers’ markets and making one meal a week out of local produce and meat; then go from there. Find a recipe starting with ingredients instead of the other way around. When looking up a recipe online, start by typing in the ingredients you can find at the markets. We are so used to reading recipes and then going out to find ingredients because we are used to being able to get anything at any time of the year.

Johnson’s Backyard Garden selling local produce, grown just outside East Austin

The farmers are also a great source for recipes. They’ll be able to tell you what to do with the vegetables they grow. They know best. The next step is to substitute local and seasonal produce for out of season produce you find in recipes. Use less meat to save money and eat more vegetables. You can make a difference one vegetable at a time.

Austin Farmers’ Markets and Farm Stands:

(For a complete listing of Austin farmers’ markets, visit www.edibleaustin.com) Boggy Creek Farm 3414 Lyons Road, Austin TX 78702 Wednesdays and Saturdays 9 am – 1 pm 6701 Burnet Road Market Thursdays 4pm8pm & Saturdays 9am-1pm Barton Creek Farmers’ Market—Saturdays,

9am–1pm, Barton Creek Mall parking lot, Mopac exit, overlooking the city. HOPE Farmers’ Market—Sundays, 11am– 3pm, 414 Waller St., the corner of E. 5th & Waller St. at the Pine Street Station. South Austin Farmers’ Market—Saturdays, year round, 8am–1pm, in the parking lot of El Gallo Restaurant (2910 South Congress). SFC Downtown–Saturdays, 9am–1pm, 4th & Guadalupe, Republic Square Park SFC Sunset Valley–Saturdays, 9am–1pm, 3200 Jones Rd, Toney Burger Center SFC Triangle–Wednesdays, 3pm–7pm, 46th & Lamar, The Triangle Jam Sanitchat is the chef and co-owner of Thai Fresh (909 W. Mary St) where she is dedicated to offering local, seasonal, and organic Thai dishes.

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The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

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at a Hospital not too Far From Here
by

Volunteering Disasters
Curtis Grey
back in the United States would be to find some experience volunteering or shadowing while I worked through EMT school. I looked no further than my community hospital's volunteer services. I'll spare you the details about how much fat, middle-aged, red tape I went through to even become a hospital volunteer, but I literally had to beg the volunteer services desk lady to give me even a few minutes of her precious time (I found out later: time reserved for PC solitaire). I may have actually spent more time trying to get involved than I actually spent as a volunteer during that first month. Did I mention that I had the right half of my hair bleached? OK, I may not have fit into the professional work environment right away, but it only took a few dirty looks to convince me to clean it up a little. On my first day of volunteering, I showed up to the ER at exactly the right time and place wearing the correct attire. No further instructions were given. “Hi,” I told the lady at the desk, “I'm the new volunteer. What do you guys do around here?” Her feet were up on the desk, and she stared at me with a blank face. Pressing further, I asked, “is there anything I can help you with?” I hated her. She was chewing a mouth full of graham crackers at a snail's pace and not saying a word. You never know a mentor when you see one, but somewhere down the line, I would become her protégé. It's amazing how little training I was given before being thrown to the wolves. I was only required to attend a small orientation ceremony and sign a privacy statement before I was allowed to be in exam rooms with naked people. Hell, I didn't even know first aid before I was wheeling around semi-conscious post-operative patients. What was all that red tape for? It was almost as if the hospital told me, “well, the background check came through and it looks like you're not a criminal ... so just go do whatever the fuck you want!” Technically, volunteers aren't allowed to even touch patients, but at hospitals with lax protocols, a lot of shit slips through the cracks. I remember being asked by a nurse to escort her patient to the bathroom across the hall. “She's a walkin' talkin' gal, real easy... a little weak though, so just walk slow and make sure she's OK in there,” explained the nurse as she rushed off to work with another patient. “No problem...” I mumbled. Of course, there was no mention of the internal bleeding that would cause the patient to pass out when she sat on the toilet. Yelling for help was pretty much all I could do when it happened. “BARB!” I often found myself in confusing, unsafe, or uncomfortable situations, trying to pick up the slack of overworked nurses and techs. Modern medicine seems to include a culture of unintentionally tainting innocence. Being an experience-based field, healthcare workers with seniority hastily encourage younger colleagues to jump into heavy cases. Sometimes the 'shit hits the fan' so hard that you can't help but let out a guffaw or take a few steps back to really take in what's happening. Some crazy guy was admitted to our ER after intentionally chopping off his arm using a ninja sword. He was brought into surgery, where his arm was made viable. Problem was, when he woke up, he still wanted his arm off. The first thing he did was slam that limb on the nurse's station over and over until it was a tattered, gory pulp. One of our nurses found him by following her ears to the source of the 'thud' sounds. The scene looked like the set of an NC-17 movie. An early part of learning medicine is discovering how incredibly stupid people are. A patient we called Jesus loved to smoke cigarettes. He loved them so much, that he accidentally blew his face off smoking a cigarette with his prescription oxygen mask still on (oxygen to help him breathe from smoking too much). To my knowledge, Jesus had been treated at my facility several times for repeating this mistake. Despite the downfalls of American medicine, I kind of liked learning in that scrambled environment. The experience was exactly what I needed and it was certainly helping with my grades in school. I could do without taking heat, though. The

A few years ago, author Neil Strauss released his newest book, Emergency: This Book Will Save Your Life. Save my life? Damn! That's a pretty bold claim. His previous book, The Game, effectively taught men a step-by-step guide to seducing women and became an overnight sensation. It's considered a holy relic in the seduction community, and instantly garnered a cult-like following. Emergency came with the promise of survival in the face of the Apocalypse. It was reasonable to trust that Neil would deliver on his promise. Well, the book didn't save my life. In fact, it didn't really teach me shit about survival, except to think of a zoo as a restaurant if I ever starve. But a void in my life was revealed to me: my lack of survival knowledge and emergency management skills. I like to imagine hordes of disappointed pick-up artist meatheads pouring into libraries, gyms, colleges, and online survivalist forums, like I did, to acquire the skills omitted from the book, all with the plan of using our novice to mediocre skills of fighting, farming and healing, to escape horrors in the wake of catastrophic societal meltdown. My transformation into a fair-weather survivalist took me from a local mixed martial arts gym where I learned how to NOT get my ass kicked (by getting it kicked), then to the small town of Kraichtal in Germany where I learned to grow food and be a hippy. At that point, my skill acquisition chronology eerily reflected my hierarchy of skill importance. I had acquired the ability to kill, but hadn't the foggiest idea how to save a life. It was at my temporary German home that I realized the gravity of medical expertise during pre-modern times. Kraichtal was situated at the center of a ring of small towns and villages for a reason. In the middle ages, the only medical doctor in the region was stationed there. Physicians were so vital and rare in those days that all local roads led to Kraichtal, also paving the way for it to become a center of local commerce during the renaissance. I decided the first course of action

further down the food chain you are, the easier it is to take the blame for medical mistakes. Volunteers are generally seen in a positive light, are friendly, and most importantly, they 'don't know any better.’ You could say volunteers are the perfect scapegoats. What were they going to do, fire me? It's not like I was getting paid for this shit! One time while giving a patient a wheelchair ride to her vehicle, she began screaming in agony, “I feel like I'm drowning!” I rushed back to her room at a furious pace. The more frantic her screaming got the faster my legs moved. I remember the moment I re-entered the medical unit: every head in the place looked to see what the commotion was. Her fix was simple, but the patient's nurse yelled at me. “For fuck's sake, Curtis! Don't bring patients back to me! Bring 'em to the ER!” I'm sure the ER would have appreciated that. During the majority of this kind of action, the only medical knowledge I had was from the Boy Scouts. Yet, I was already free to peruse the halls wearing hospital scrubs and a magnetic badge that beeped me in and out of coded doors. Unknowing patients and families often referred to me as "doctor." The only time I bothered correcting anyone for this mistake; it bit me in the ass. An injured kid who came in after a traumatic motorcycle accident thought I was a surgeon. Flattered, I told him, “sorry my man, but I'm not a surgeon.” The comfort and rapport we’d built faded from his face, as he realized who would be in charge of his well-being: the cranky old guy in the room. That kind of bummed me out. From then on, I let people call me whatever they wanted. A few of the paramedics from the ER took a liking to me and held me under their wing while I was still training for my EMT license. My favorite medic was always Chuck, regardless of how nervous he made me, or how much hell he put me through. Chuck was a token black gangsta from Philly' who escaped the hood life by going to Iraq as a combat medic. Emergency medicine became his life after deployment. Chuck put his career at risk every 7 austincut.com | The Austin Cut, October 2011 3

time I showed up to volunteer, constantly pushing me into performing highly illegal clinical procedures. Under his supervision, I started IVs, inserted urine catheters, and other invasive procedures all under the name of getting experience. He was very clever in using intoxicated or non-English speaking patients for his little experiments. Each department in the hospital seems to attract a specific range of personality types. For example, it may very well be a scientific fact that labor and delivery (L&D) nurses are the laziest humans alive. You see, we had a rule at the hospital that says if a woman is 20 weeks pregnant or more, they need to be treated upstairs in L&D. You better be pretty damn sure that your patient isn't 19 weeks and 6 days, because those L&D nurses will certainly find that shit out and send your patient right back to square one. And naturally, you end up gettin' heat for it from the patient and your supervisor. This distinction can be made more clearly when you look at the physicians. I mean, all emergency doctors seem to be wellrounded individuals, where as someone in a field like nephrology would tend to exude ultra-nerdness. I was surprised to find some truth to the “surgeons are jocks” legend. A surgeon once joked to me about a case that didn't require surgery: “No holes? Where do I put the power tools?” Unfortunately, I only got to know one urologist, but he was definitely a dick. The shadiest doc in the hospital award goes to gastrointestinal specialists (“GI” docs deal with anything food touches; from

your mouth to your ass). I'm not saying they're all bad, but the corrupt ones run the best scam in the house: the colonoscopy. If somehow you’ve never heard of a colonoscopy, it's when you have your colon and intestines examined by a small video camera via rectum (a.k.a. your “corn-hole”). Before you're deterred from getting one of these procedures, let me tell you that they absolutely save lives. Everyone needs to have the inside of their intestines thoroughly examined by the time they turn 50, and GI docs have the monopoly on performing these procedures. It should take around 30 minutes to examine the inner-walls of the intestines, but I knew a doctor that would line up 10+ patients and whip out the procedures in less than 3 hours, an amazing feat by all standards. And miraculously, his patients were profoundly healthy, being that he could perform dozens of these procedures without finding so much as a single polyp! Not a bad day's wage when you consider the cost of an individual colonoscopy: 5000 big ones. Catch my drift? I told my taxonomy theory to a nonmedical friend. He wittingly asked, “are the male OB/GYN's pussies?” Well, an acquaintance who I will call “Dr. Benway” is the Chief of Obstetrics and Gynecology at a reputable HMO facility. He paraded himself around in a medical-student-drawn wheelchair and commented on every piece of ass he saw. Many of his patients were rated by "slut-factor" and he claimed to have performed many vaginal medical procedures with raging erections. He would explain, "Uncle Bill had to stay seated for a

while!" Here's a small reward for reading: If you want to guarantee yourself a job in healthcare, volunteer first. Seriously though, when I graduated from EMT school, there were multiple paid positions waiting for me simply because I was a volunteer. After being hired onto the ambulance fleet, it felt like the flood gates of insanity had been unleashed. Sometimes when I have insomnia, I lie in bed and think about the area where I used to serve and the people who watch over it while the rest of us sleep. I can't help but think of a few names. Like Kent. Kent had been a metro paramedic for somewhere around 30 years and had seen it all. On a call to a gunshot wound, he comforted our patient by exclaiming, “you don't get any street-cred for getting shot in the ass!” Or Cal, a young EMT with veteran experience. The first thing he told me was, “I am really immature.” Cal and I once picked up a gorgeous Hispanic girl from the scene a car wreck who didn't speak a word of English. When I realized that I needed to cut off her clothes as part of my medical assessment, I became nervous. I confided in Cal who was driving, "I think I need to cut-off her clothes!" He gave me a large grin, "dude, do it... slowly.” Most healthcare professionals worry about becoming jaded. But before you can become jaded, you gotta' see some shit. A disturbing 911 call can make or break an EMT. One fated night, I responded to such a call. Police had responded to a domestic dis-

turbance call about a baby who was crying loud enough to keep neighbors up late into the night. When the father couldn't comfort the child, police called us for medical support. She was still crying when I took off her diaper. Everyone in the room seemed to realize it at once as blood oozed from the baby's vagina. Everyone's attention turned to the rapist father. An emotional mob of police and firefighters forced the man into the backyard and beat the shit out of him. I'm not saying the guy didn't deserve it, but I'm not a huge fan of the police dishing out vigilante justice. I hadn't seen an ass beating like that since Kimbo brawled on YouTube. It's moments like those where it's best to take a step back and ask myself, “what the hell is going on here?” Because medicine is such a dire necessity, society holds it to a much higher standard of excellence. If an ER visit takes more than 2 hours, or if I forget to say “excuse me” when working around a family to save someone's life, the potential for it to turn into a volatile situation is much higher than it would be if I fucked up their order at Burger King. Usually I have the best intentions, but it's easy to forget that most emergency patients are having the worst day of their life, because for me, it's just another day on the job. It is also automatically assumed that since someone went to school to practice medicine they actually care about patients or that they're really smart. Like any other group, healthcare professionals are just another slice of the pie that is humanity. And that includes every personality type.

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The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

two reViews oF Moneyball anD tHree otHer tHings to wHet your baseball appetite
by Wint Huskey
Some people eagerly look forward to October for the opportunity to dress up in a costume and (if they're a young 'un) get candy from a stranger or (if they're a little older) get really weird with another person in a costume. Some folks probably like seeing leaves change colors before paying others to put said leaves into piles and then in an opaque black ethylene vinyl acetate bag. And still more people get all worked up about the tenth month of our Gregorian calendar because of the Major League Baseball Playoffs. For four full weeks, televisions across the nation will broadcast several matches leading up to the storied World Series. Baseball fans are going through a lot of emotions right now. Nobody is sure what to expect. Some people are going to wake up every day for the next few weeks and immediately start worrying about their starting pitcher: is he going to have the changeup tonight? Is he still hanging those lazy curveballs belt-high? They will consider his numbers against left-handed hitting in the opponents lineup, switch-hitters, and, to be safe, right-handed hitters. They will worry about the gravitational effects of playing a night game under a full moon and the way the ball might carry further over the right field fence. So, baseball fans, let's all relax a minute and enjoy some baseball-related stuff before things get heavy this October. Consider this a brief list of postseason baseball foreplay: ager, and club executive name-dropped in the book only heightens the behind-thescenes authenticity so frequently denied to sports fans. Moneyball is not solely written for folks who already spend an inordinate amount of their time watching, thinking about, reading about, and debating baseball. Even readers who are apprehensive about the sport can plop down for an afternoon and rip through Lewis' punchy and well-constructed narrative in roughly the same period of time it actually takes to watch a baseball game. Moneyball was released in 2003 and focuses in on the 2002 Oakland A's surprising run to an AL West Division Title. Now, generally, eight or nine years doesn't take one back far enough to start imagining everything in sepia hues, but it does come as a bit of a surprise that Mr. Lewis' Moneyball feels like it's coming out of a time capsule. A lot has happened in the baseball world (and the slightly larger world outside of it) since the go-go 2000s when Moneyball hit the shelves. Baseball players started wearing these stupidlooking magnet necklaces, the Devil Rays and Diamondbacks somehow made their names even worse by becoming the Rays and the D'Backs, and Barry Bonds' hat and shoe size continued to grow naturally at an unprecedented rate. And I think the Boston Red Sox won a championship or something for the first time in, like, a while. The most notable difference, however, between pre and post Moneyball Major League Baseball is that the system employed by Oakland General Manager Billy Beane in 2002, a philosophy that was initially shunned and disparaged, jeopardizing his career, has quickly become the blueprint for leaguewide success. As the title evokes, baseball has increasingly become an economic sport. There can be no denying the New York Yankees' mystique, their pinstriped aura, their winning legacy, or whatever one wants to call it. But not even the biggest effluvium of mystical auras can shroud the fact that today's team is all about the money. By simply outbidding most of their adversaries, the Yankees can not only field a better group but also weaken their opponents' line-ups in the process. Take for instance 2001, when the Yankees were pushed within a few outs of elimination by Beane's Oakland A's. That subsequent offseason, the Yankees signed Jason Giambi, the A's MVP first baseman, for seven years at $18 million per season (the entire salary of Oakland's 2002 roster was just under $42 million by comparison), thereby improving their offense while also enfeebling their Bay Area rivals. Normally, we'd expect Moneyball to guide us through the comfortable, conventional territory of most sports writing, stoking the Giambi signing and lack of expectations for Oakland to weave an unexpected and inspiring narrative, plenty of stuff about perseverance, a speech here or there about sticktoitiveness, and maybe a death in the family. I don't know whose family, but dead people always seem to give athletes a good reason to try harder, so it would make for a nice touch. But that type of story would be ignoring the book's subtitle (The Art of Winning at an Unfair Game) by not addressing the more interesting question of 'how'? As in, 'how did the Oakland A's win all of those games after all of those good players left and got replaced by (no offense, guys) bad players?' On the surface of things, asking a general manager to compile a competitive Major League team with a strict budget about 1/3 the size of other squads’ is a recipe for failure. The 2001 Oakland team had surprised many, but most authorities on the game considered it an aberration. And once three of their star players (Giambi, pitcher Jason Isringhausen, and center fielder Johnny Damon) were due for a consequential raise that the A's were not about to hand out, there was almost no reason to expect the 2002 team to be anywhere near as good as the preceding edition. But they wound up being an impressive 44 games above .500 and won their division handily, something that the 2001 team did not do. The A's formula, which has since been duplicated by most every sports franchise (even many outside of baseball), is simple: pay for wins, not for players. And in order to get those wins, you need to purchase runs. By utilizing complex statistical formulas and composing algorithms to predict what it would take (in terms of wins, runs scored, and runs allowed) to trigger a playoff berth or a division title, the A's were able to focus on the numbers and not the names and platoon a team. Rather than pay (lots) of money for a guy like Jason Giambi because, well, he's Jason Giambi, the A's were able to obtain three players (for a fraction of the cost) who could duplicate the departed all-star’s numbers in aggregate. Of course, the trio of new, cheap faces could not replace the name Giambi (except for his brother Jeremy, who was signed by Oakland and traded a few games into the 2002 season), at least not until the team started winning games. Another reason for the A's highly successful coup was their reevaluation of many of the statistics themselves. Home runs, RBIs, and batting average are still considered the best indicators of a hitter's effectivity, and, as such, players that get gaudy numbers in any of the three aforementioned categories are guaranteed a lot of money somewhere in the League. Not to pick on the biggest punchline of this MLB season, but consider first baseman Adam Dunn who signed this past winter with the Chicago White Sox for four years at $14 million-per. A hefty sum, to be sure. In all fairness, neither the Sox nor anybody in the League figured that Dunn, a slugger who consistently hit 35-40 home runs each season, would be hitting an MLB-record low .161. But Dunn, alias “The Big Donkey,” had enough of a reputation that Chicago execs were willing to overlook the fact that he A.) never played in the American League or as a designated hitter, B.) was striking out more and taking fewer walks than he had earlier in his career, or C.) was getting older. The White Sox, instead, focused on the fact that Dunn hit 38 homers the season before and that would be a good thing to add to the team. Instead of looking for replacements who could hit lots of home runs and RBIs, Beane and his number crunchers chose to focus on under-valued and un-sexy stats like on-base percentage and walkto-strikeout-ratio, both of which are good harbingers of run scoring. Their logic is clear and compelling: guys who get walked tend to score much more than batters who strike out. So, basically, Billy Beane happens to be one of the careful shoppers you see clogging the aisles of the supermarket, analyzing the price-per-ounce of ketchup before settling on the best purchase. He's seeking out the dented cans so he can save more. One can easily envision Beane buying that gigantic sack of Malt-O-Meal Fruit O's because it's practically the same price as Fruit

#1 Reading this article
Clearly, you're starting off in the right spot.

#2 Listening to John Fogerty's “Centerfield”

I'm not sure if there's anything more American than the front man behind Credence Clearwater Revival singing a tune about baseball. In fact, this song is more American than “The Star Spangled Banner,” hands down. So before anybody gets all hyped up about the big game ahead, just put this tune on and hope that the dirt dogs you're cheering for are “ready to play/ today.”

#3 Reading Michael Lewis' Moneyball

Both the novice and the seasoned fan can appreciate many of the nuances in Michael Lewis' Moneyball: The Art of Winning at an Unfair Game. Baseball viewers will appreciate the insider's view to the mechanizations of an MLB clubhouse, albeit a highly-unusual one, and every player, man-

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, October 2011

9 3

Lines like “You think Babe Ruth was a stud? Hell no, he was a fat piece of shit” pop up frequently enough to make one forget that they’re reading a book about baseball statistics and economics.
Loops, but there is ten times as much cereal in there. And once it's in the bowl, you can't taste the difference, anyway. Now imagine he's putting together a baseball team and not a pantry. If Moneyball is lacking one element, it's a climax. While they won a lot of games when nobody expected them to, the 2002 Oakland A's made it exactly as far as their predecessors, losing a five-game series in the first round of the playoffs. Unless you've kept up with baseball since 2002, the book fizzles a bit towards the end as the team loses, and Billy Beane and Michael Lewis offer some reasonable accounts for why they didn't win, before wrapping things up. The baseball world after Moneyball, though, is drastically changed, as every team now employs the use of advanced statistics. In this sense, Beane did win out, as his methods were widely adopted and quickly accepted as the new Templar. The victory must surely have been hollow for Billy Beane and A's fans, though, because once Moneyball became an instant New York Times bestseller, the whole secret was over. In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to widely disseminate the single thing that was allowing the A's to remain competitive. Teams with more money could once again, beat Oakland at their own game. wearing track suits and sitting at a desk... How am I supposed to get pumped and totally inspired by some dork named (no shit) Billy Beane? How is seeing Brad Pitt use math formulas and statistics to draft and sign players going to entertain me? Shouldn't Brad be, like, coming out of retirement and hitting a home run to win the World Series or something, not just trying to get his team into the American League Divisional Series? In all seriousness, though, Moneyball has certainly promised to be an unusual film over the course of the past four or five years that it's taken, for it to see the light of day. The finished product lives up to every bit of such an expectation. Moneyball lacks many of the conventional elements that have made the David versus Goliath sports format so appealing. In the usual underdog stories, audiences know exactly whose side they are to be on within the first few minutes of the movie. Nobody in the audience roots for the Soviet hockey team or Apollo Creed or the monsters from Space Jam because those bad guys are so obviously bad and such big jerks. And after we've seen how determined the Americans are, how much meat Rocky punched, or the bond that developed between Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny, how can we help but cheer for anyone else? When comparing this with Billy Beane, arguing with a room of octogenarian baseball scouts about the merits of on-base percentage, one gets the sense that the stakes are not so high. Of course, Beane's crusade feels less serious because, unlike Rocky or the US Hockey Team, his enemy is not a seemingly-unbeatable superpowered badass opponent, but, rather, a series of ideological assumptions and preconceived notions that he wants to debunk. Audiences are all rooting for the same results (the little guy winning), but there is something inherently less appealing about the intellectual strategy behind the victory than, say, a training montage. With all this being said, Moneyball (both the film and the book) is probably going to inspire more upper management and entrepreneurial types than it ever will baseball players. Hopefully you remember that the book Moneyball is primarily about the small-market Oakland A's who, unable to compete financially with largermarket clubs, begin utilizing untapped data resources to help them outsmart the competition and win at a fraction of the cost. Well, the movie is also about that. The most romantic and stirring scene of actual baseball is probably when Scott Hatteberg

#4 Watch a Baseball Movie

If teaching at a high school has taught me anything, it is that people best learn about most things by watching movies. Thankfully for those who desire to learn about the game of baseball without actually watching or reading about it, there are a few choices out there to consider. Moneyball (based on Michael Lewis' 2003 book (see review above)) is the latest entry into the well-traveled field of baseball cinema. And like so many baseball or sports related films, this one is another classic David versus Goliath. That's right, it's the little guy taking on the big guy and kicking some big ass in the process, possibly against all odds and maybe even while believing in himself when others doubted him. Yeah, Moneyball is all about a ragtag bunch of misfits that no other team wanted, a team full of other, richer teams’ castoffs. No, this ain't the one with Charlie Sheen in it. That's Major League. This movie is newer and stars Brad Pitt as, uh, Mark McGuire? No. Wait. As Jose Canseco? Ricky Henderson? No way. Dennis Eckersley? No, wait, Brad plays Billy Beane, the general manager of the team. He's mostly 10 4

hits a home run against the Kansas City Royals. Sure, it was a dramatic and historic game (Oakland won a record 20 consecutive games and nearly blew an 11-run lead in the game), but it's not like a walk-off in Wrigley Field to win the World Series or anything. Moneyball is a decidedly unromantic look at baseball and is probably the first movie to ever be so. No player approaches being the protagonist and, despite the A's success over the course of the 2002 season, they still come up short in the playoffs. It is entirely necessary that both the book and the movie be unromantic, though, as each chronicles the development and implementation of saber metrics — the analysis of baseball through empirical evidence. That's not to say Moneyball isn’t an entertaining book or film, though, as each approaches the subject with an unexpected jocularity. When he's not expertly moving the story along and teaching readers a thing or two along the way, Mr. Lewis is finding some choice quotes from the supporting cast and crew of ball players and team execs. Lines like “You think Babe Ruth was a stud? Hell no, he was a fat piece of shit” pop up frequently enough to make one forget that they’re reading a book about baseball statistics and economics. A great deal of these sorts of one-liners are judiciously selected and placed in Aaron Sorkin and Stephen Zaillian's witty screenplay, which is made all the more enjoyable by the superb comedic timing of Mr. Pitt and the surprisingly adept Jonah Hill who plays the nerdy, bashful, laptop-toting wunderkind Peter Brand (based on Beane's assistant G.M. Paul DePodesta). The cold-nature of the story and the humor in it frequently coincide in Moneyball, as Mr. Pitt carries comedic momentum from previous efforts like Burn After Reading and Inglourious Basterds, into his role as a baseball G.M. One such scene has Beane whipping through the Oakland clubhouse to give a speech to his struggling team. “You guys don't look like winners. But you are.” Beane scans the room for a second longer. “So, uh, go out and play like that.” Whereas this is the moment where audiences have come to expect a stirring oration that turns the team around, this is what Moneyball is against. Beane is basically saying, 'the computer says you guys are actually going to win, so just keep doing what you do and, you know, we'll win.' Which is what happened. If there is one striking flaw in the movie (and absent from the book), it’s the preoccupation with humanizing Billy Beane. To the regret of many viewers, Moneyball occasionally loses focus on Beane's struggle to modernize a game hell-bent on tradition and heritage. The film often focuses on Beane's relationship with his ex-wife and daughter. While I heartily applaud and appreciate the scene-stealing Spike Jonze as Beane's ex-wife's new husband Alán, the father-daughter storyline makes for the lowest points of the film. I don't usually take time out to criticize children, but the scenes in which Beane's daughter appear make for some of the more horrible musi-

cal interludes of the film (another being Joe Satriani performing the national anthem on his stupid chrome guitar). I'm not sure who thought Moneyball needed a Jason Mraz-meets-the-Juno-soundtrack, but it doesn't need that. Even if this is a movie about the Oakland Athletics, and even if it is about the little guy trying to beat the big guy, Moneyball strips these plotlines down as much as it can and focuses, instead, on Beane's pursuit of knowledge. Pete Brand, a quiet nerd with a poster of Plato over his bed, and his computers are brought in to essentially replace the A's head scout whose “knowledge” of the game amounts to little more than anecdotal evidence and gut feelings. More than a story about a little team that could, Moneyball traces the enormous cultural and informational shift brought on by technology. Director Bennet Miller uses repeated close-ups of numbers, matrices, player profiles, charts, and computer screens to constantly remind viewers of how this particular team and season actually came together. As clever as Beane may be and as likable as his unlikely partner Brand is, they are just shown as the men behind the screens. The movie seems to be trying to remind its viewers that this team, for all of their record-breaking, odddefying, and walk-off home runs, is simply a group of batters compiled by an offthe-field algorithm, players who, despite whatever innate qualities they bring to the team, can be replaced as easily as actors on Law and Order. So Moneyball may not turn out to be one of the all-time favorite baseball movies because it's not totally about baseball. Real baseball fans will find plenty of fault (i.e. when did Raul Ibañez become a black guy?). Despite some pretty visually striking shots and scenes around the diamond, most of the action takes place with conference calls and scouting reports. This might actually make Moneyball the closest film has gotten to capturing the game itself. Considering that a three-hour game features about 12 minutes of the ball in play and two hours and 48 minutes of seed-spitting, bubble-blowing, and cupadjusting, it's pretty generous that a two hour and 15 minute baseball movie contain three or four whole entire scenes of action. While paying to see the guy from Parks and Recreation play Scott Hatteberg might not be the most romantic portrayal of the game so many hold so dear, it turns out that the game might not be so romantic in the first place.

#5 Reading and Watching The Natural
You know, actually, I don't have the space to do another one of those longwinded book and movie reviews. And I can't really vouch for either of these... So, you'd probably just be better off watching The Simpsons episode where the power plant hires all the MLB ringers to play on the softball team.

The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

How to cHeat literary DeatH
a reView oF tea of ulaanbaatar
by

brandon roberts

I don’t normally read awful books. I try even harder to not buy them. But when I saw that John Dolan, the author of one of the most hilarious books I’ve read in a long time, had a blurb on the back cover of Christopher Howard’s Tiboli Taboo, I had to check it out. The link that Dolan and Howard share is Capricorn Publishing, a small independent publisher. Dolan’s Pleasant Hell was published by Capricorn in 2005. It’s a brilliant book that follows Dolan growing up in the psychedelic Bay Area in the late-60s, but instead of joining in with the party, he fumbles awkwardly from one cringe-inducing social situation to the next. I highly recommend it. Anyway, Howard’s debut novel, Tiboli Taboo, was published shortly afterwards in 2005 by Capricorn. It even has a corny advertisement for Pleasant Hell on the last page. Tiboli Taboo sat on my shelf for a couple years because I couldn’t get past the first couple pages. I didn’t touch it until recently when I was leaving for a two-week 12 4

trip. It was the only book on my shelf that I hadn’t read. Bringing this book was a mistake. Like the first couple pages, the rest of the book also contained some of most rotten and half-assed writing I’ve ever exposed my eyes to. But I was in the middle of nowhere for a good chunk of time, so I read it anyway. The book is about a guy named Maynard who, after job failures following the recession, joins the infantry and goes to Afghanistan. He and his buddies, whose dialogue is mostly racial slurs and sexual comments, end up stealing a bunch of ancient artifacts. They blow peoples’ heads off, rape young girls (after cutting their heads off ), and scream “HADJI!” all along the way. Then the Afghanis they stole the artifacts from end up being part of a well-connected, super-secret society and one of the items they stole turns out to be magical. Like the ring from The Lord of the Rings, this magical box possesses its owners, making them crave its power-giv-

ing presence. Thrown in-between all that are a bunch of flashbacks to Maynard’s ex-girlfriend, murderous Afghanistan gore scenes, monologues about the 9/11 hijackers (holy shit, these are so corny!), and scenes from life in Chicago before and after war. After reading the book, I got curious about what Howard might be up to these days. I saw that he’d managed to build somewhat of a literary career. He was a finalist for a 2008 National Magazine Award for a short story he published in McSweeny’s. Then he was selected to write a short story that was published as an Amazon “Kindle Single.” Then I saw something that shocked and confused me: a debut novel by Christopher Howard called Tea of Ulaanbaatar came out in May 2011. The publisher, Seven Stories Press (a large publishing house who’ve done stuff including Vonnegut in the past), reportedly “snapped up” the novel, according to an article about Howard by the Peoria Journal Star.

Was this a different guy? It had to be. Nobody can publish two debut novels. But they had the same name. They had the same middle initial. (Tiboli Taboo lists its author as “Christopher Robert Howard” and Tea of Ulaanbaatar lists its author as “Christopher R. Howard.”) So I ordered the book. The back cover of Tea of Ulaanbaatar calls itself a “striking debut” that “announces Howard as one of the most inventive and ambitious of a new generation of American novelists.” I opened it up to the author bio. The author in the picture looked so similar to author of Tiboli Taboo, that I had to compare them side by side. They had the same little squinty eyes, oddly shaped ears, hairlines, identical sideburn lengths, large chins and small round noses. They have to be the same person! For anyone who might not know, an author’s debut novel is his or her first (and for some, only) chance to make a mark on both the “literary world” and the publish-

The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

Christopher Howard from the back cover of Tiboli Taboo (left, 2005) and again from the inside of Tea of Ulaanbaatar (right, 2011). Notice the similarities.

ing industry. Getting a novel published these days is a pretty big deal. Simply: publishing a novel costs a lot of money. Printing costs are high, you generally have to print a minimum of several thousand of them, and then there’s the huge time/ labor investment of editing and copy editing. When you bring a large publishing house into the picture, you add even more people to get paid, and the author’s upfront payment. That’s a lot of risk. So, as an author, if you blow it for the publisher and your book just sits there, your career is generally fucked. On the other hand, there are a lot of magazines, literary journals, newspapers, and literary foundations who concentrate solely on debut novels. So if an author’s first book is great and he or she wins a lot of awards, that author basically gets a ticket to, at least, a second and much more lucrative publishing deal. Reading Tea of Ulaanbaatar was a drag. Stylistically, it’s a blatant Cormac McCarthy rip-off. It has no punctuation to indicate when someone is speaking. But unlike McCarthy’s deliberate, lockeddown phrasing, Howard’s imitation comes closer to a cloud of sloppy fragments. Details like who the hell is speaking were an annoying task to figure out, especially in passages with inner thoughts and multiple people speaking all at once. Regardless, the book is about Warren, who is in Mongolia working with the Peace Corps. He comes across a rare

drug that is known only in Mongolia. Tsus, as it’s called there, is a potent, addictive “blood red” tea that causes its users to have psychedelic visions and violent tendencies. Despite warnings from his American coworkers to never try it, he does anyway. From there it becomes clear that Howard doesn’t have much personal experience with drugs because Warren goes from drinking the tea to smoking it to being addicted like a lifeless toy. Descriptions of the drug, its high, or its addictive pull – when they occur at all – are generic and unconvincing. The plot moves along. He meets a girl whose brother is a psychopathic drug dealer and before you know it, Warren and his coworker are setting up a drug distribution deal to move tsus into America. A bunch of people get killed randomly here and there. Eventually, Warren is overcome with visions of armies marching to war, more random violence, and the future in general. I’ll spare you the rest of the trite details, cheap reflections on American consumerism, and other crap like that, because this book isn’t worth reading. The closer I got to finishing Tea of Ulaanbaatar, the more similarities I noticed between it and Tiboli Taboo. In both novels, the main characters love and know a lot about knives. Both characters talk about working in cubicles before escaping

to their current jobs and they both repeat the same clichés about American “consumer” culture when talking about home. Both novels quote popular music in an awkward way: “[insert lyric in italics], said [insert artist name] [insert where music is coming from].” Both characters obsess about their ex-girlfriends. Both characters’ fathers are described as smelling distinctly like “cotton.” Tiboli Taboo takes place, for a large part, in Western Washington State, in the cities surrounding the Fort Lewis Military Base. Christopher R. Howard was stationed at Fort Lewis for a period of time in the early 2000s. Pretend for a second that Christopher Howard from Taboo and Christopher Howard from Ulaanbaatar were different people. Comparing them brings up a lot more similarities. The back of Taboo says that Howard “attends graduate school in Illinois.” An article about Ulaanbaatar says Howard got a master’s degree from the Illinois State University. The back of Taboo says “he is 31 years old.” That would’ve been in 2005. Jump roughly six years forward to 2011 and articles about Tea of Ulaanbaatar put him at 36. And like I said before, if they aren’t the same person, they’d have to be twins because they look identical. There are so many similarities between the two that they have to be the same person. But they couldn’t, could they? A

relatively prestigious publishing house wouldn’t try to pass off a second novel as a debut, would they? So I contacted both Capricorn Publishing and Seven Stories Press. Capricorn Publishing never responded to any of my e-mails, but Seven Stories Press did. They insisted that I was confused. Or in their words: “Sounds like an interesting book, but no, it's a different Chris Howard!” Clearly his first book didn’t make an impact on the publishing industry in any way. It’s 224 pages of nu-metal lyrics, racial slurs, and chintzy gore. To 99.9% of all authors, that equals literary death. But for some reason, Christopher Howard got a second chance. Maybe Seven Stories Press knew about Tiboli Taboo and decided to pass Tea of Ulaanbaatar off as his first novel anyway. Or maybe they “snapped it up” so fast that they never even Googled his name. Is he going to still be eligible for some of the prestigious first book awards for this year? Winning a prize like The Hemingway Foundation/PEN Award would be a massive steroid injection to his career, not to mention the eight thousand dollar bonus. Either way, I won’t be holding my breath for that verdict. Two debuts or not, they both still suck. And I don’t think he’s going to fool many people about that.

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, October 2011

13 3

waVVes, peelanDer-Z, anD many otHers at wilD Frontier Fest
by Josh

wHere’s tHe crowD?
newport

We arrived around 7:00pm. After we passed through the doors, I was immediately surprised to see how few people there were inside. I went to day two of the Wild Frontier Fest under the false assumption that most of the bands playing were high demand touring bands with a following (which wasn’t the case). The last time I had seen a show at Emo’s Outside was during Chaos in Tejas, so I couldn’t help but compare the environments of both fests. It looked like there was about a third the amount of people at Wild Frontier Fest as were at Chaos. I was also surprised by how young the Frontier Fest crowd was. At this point a strange sense of alienation set in. I really had no idea what I was in for or what to expect of the fest. I came to see Wavves, one, because maybe by seeing them live and in person I’d get a better idea what all the attention they’d received was all about and, two, mainly because of the off chance that Nathan Williams (Wavves’ front man) would have another onstage melt down. Walking closer to the stage I thought I heard Ratatat. I glanced over at my friend (he had seen Ratatat a couple years earlier), and was about to ask if it actually was Ratatat, but the blank and furrowed expression on his face was giving me good indication that it probably wasn’t. Regardless, I was going to ask anyway just to be sure. Right when I began to open my mouth he chimed in with, “Huh? What are they playing? It sounds like the Backstreet Boys.” In my head I figured the band (Fresh Millions) would’ve been ironically stoked by that comment. We left the outside stage to see what was going on in the rest of the fest. We went back to the courtyard behind the bar to speed up our acclimation process 14 4

and people watch. We heard some music coming from inside the bar, so we checked it out and saw what looked like three guitars creating some kind of a jangly soundscape of a buildup. Every time I thought they were about to climax into a loud ass jam, they’d go back into the soundscape. After what felt like ten minutes of buildup, we left to grab something from my friend’s car. On our way to the car, some crazy old lady covered in dust, wearing a tie-dye muumuu, came around a corner and spit fart noises at us, inspiring me to notice a common trend; crazy old ladies in tie-dye love to frequent Red River and 8th. We got back to Emo’s and Calm Blue Sea (the jangly soundscape band) eventually transitioned into the song’s climax/outro. After Calm Blue Sea rocked out their set, we left to watch the end of Fresh Millions. The first thing I noticed was how giant their lead singer was. Seeing him on stage playing laptop-keyboard-pop instead of football was kind of a trip, especially when he started to metronome overhead rainbow claps to the auto-tuned hook “we came to paaar-ty down.” It was pretty early in the night so the crowd was just starting to get loose. Fresh Millions left the stage and about a dozen people replaced them from East Camron Folk Core. There was a mandolin, some guitars, drums, a harmonica, a bunch of other blue grass instruments, and a banjo. The dude playing the b-jo made

a couple of jokes the thickening crowd responded well to and they started their first song, queuing some dudes up front to start doing a jig where you purposefully splash your beer behind your head. Then a couple flocks of girls, out of nowhere, bum rushed the front of the stage and started dancing. After that, I got all bummed out, and walked around the rest of the fest to see what else was going on. We talked to one of the guys from Cartright Music selling merch. He told us about which bands he thought were cool and gave us some wicked strike anywhere matches with psychedelic paintings on the package. He asked which bands we came to see and we told him Wavves. He then responded with, “yeah. They’re pretty popular.” The look on his face said, “you bastards.” We may have had smug shit-eating grins on our faces when we said Wavves, but it would have only been because we didn’t know what other bands were playing. In retrospect, Ume (one of the bands that’d played earlier in the fest) probably ruled. I think it’s well within the realm of possibility that, in a year, Wavves could be side-staging a fest that Ume main-stages, not that Wavves sucks or anything. The guy from Cartright Music told us we should check out Zorch, so we took his advice and waited in the courtyard for Zorch to set up. I had started zoning out when my friend informed me of the growing line to get pictures taken in front of a yellow banner with

the Yelp! and Vagabond Collective logos checkered on it. Then, we killed the next ten minutes trying to take a picture of this conspicuous crust punk that looked like a clone of an old friend of ours. We saw a ton of people migrating to the inside stage so we followed them in and watched Zorch set up their gear. The drummer started to help work on their minimalist light show once he was done putting together his drum kit. I noticed his gnarly headset microphone, perfect for song and dance routines and expressive body movement while drumming. They started their set with noisy effectladen keyboard riffs accompanied by manic drumming. All of the vocals had a similar “whooooa ooohhhhhh” quality. All the riffs sounded thrashy, except for the slow song (though still noisy and effectladen). Midway through their performance, the keyboardist set a floor tom up in the middle of the crowd. He whacked the shit out of it for half a minute, then hustled to take it back on stage. Apparently the tom was becoming too much of a handicap as he started to hurry up, so he threw it behind him without looking back, in order to avoid missing whatever deadline he was in a rush for. Zorch finished and we heard Zlam Dunk playing outside, so we went over to check it out. Zlam Dunk was super energetic when they played and the crowd pretty much mimicked the band. During one of their songs, the lead singer ran through the spectators and jumped on a giant blue fan situated behind the audience. He was dancing hunched over with some percussive instrument and doing violent hip thrusts. We were on the little balcony in the

The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

Zorch’s drummer “oohing” and “aahing” into his headset while (off camera) the keyboardist runs into the crowd with a bass drum

Peelander-Z, during one of their bizarre between-song activities. In this case, the crowd are banging on dog bowls while Peelander Red (in the costume) jump ropes.

back, so he was about three feet away from us. I don’t know if he was wearing boxers or briefs, but I saw something very phallic, rhythmically bashing against the groin region of his cotton shorts. The rest of Zlam Dunk’s set couldn’t really hold a candle to the lead singer’s crazy penis antics. Cruiserweight played next. We watched the first half of their set from the back of the crowd on the little balcony, and the second half up front against the stage. Most the people up front knew all the lyrics, and a few of the people singing with their eyes closed looked like they were crying. When we got to the front it completely blew my mind how short they all were up-close. From the back they looked regular sized, but somehow the stage and the shape of the room created some kind of optical illusion because from the front, they looked very munchkin like. Especially the girl lead singer, since she looked like a munchkin even when we were watching from the back. The guitarist’s youth crew Gibson and Mesa Boogie combo with the rest of the band’s pop punk sound was like something taken from a pop culture time capsule. The singer mentioned how it was their tenth year anniversary and it made me think “Oh yeah. I totally would have listened to this ten years ago.” Because it was Cruiserweight’s reunion show and they all had new lives and careers since the initial inception of their band, I started thinking how much more visible that circumstance would have been if the lead singer was seven months pregnant and floor punching during one of their pop punk break downs. During the Cruiserweight set I left to see what Sip Sip sounded like. I saw them walking around earlier that day and noticed how their Sip Sip basketball jerseys, along with the novelty items they were wearing, made them look like the Lloyd Kaufman Globetrotters. I was on my way over to check them out when I heard a bunch of what sounded like kazoos, so I went back

to the Cruiserweight show. (I looked for live videos of them online after the show. I’m pretty sure none of their songs feature kazoos.) After the next band, Peelander-Z, finished sound checking and covering the stage with toys and Japanese stereotypes, Peelander Pink (the band members all wear crazy color-coded punk clothes and are named after their colors) came out in her little pink jump suit with her fake little pink guitar and mosh conducted their sludge metal opener. The Peelanders playing real instruments wore a bunch dorky hats and wigs that immediately flung off when they started thrashing about. Then Peelander Red, head-walked to the nearest ceiling beam and started playing upside down from it, while Peelander Yellow shouted a bunch of gibberish into the mic. They played a bunch of noisy punk songs that were sprinkled with Peelander Yellow’s wild banter. His banter was probably crazier and more hectic than his possessed accent. When Peelander-Z finished, the majority of the crowd left. Peelander-Z played the best show the whole night. It was full of energy and I was completely unable to take my eyes off of all the goofy looking shit they kept doing. I didn’t think I was going to like this band at all, but they utterly ruled. If you ever get a chance to see them, do it. Wavves was supposedly headlining the fest, but they ended up playing for a pretty much vacant venue of a couple dozen middle-schoolers getting baked. After the Wavves gear was set up, cutie pie Nathan Williams (looking very much like Ferris Bueller after a series of hormone injections) came out to plug something in while the entire small crowd cheered. Some kid offered his pipe to smoke Williams out, who reluctantly accepted. Williams is pretty much obligated to consume the constant barrage of free drugs from teenagers (even after his little freak out incident in Spain)

Besides some head bobbing and a few paces back and forth, Wavves held this formation for their whole set

since the foundations of his image are built around being carefree, drug addled, and irresponsible. He took a drag and held it for a couple milliseconds before exhaling a Snoop Dogg plume of smoke. Various lowerarchy Wavves members came on stage to no applause. The bass player (Stephen Pope) and his crazy Mevins hair managed to squeeze a couple of cheers from the crowd. The same kid offered his pipe to Pope, who took a real hit off of it and passed it to Williams just to bother him. Visibly annoyed, Williams was unable to light it and claimed it was cashed before handing it back. The entire Wavves show was being recorded by a couple of people, which means there is physical evidence of Wavves being smoked out by minors on Texas soil. Plus, I think by returning the pipe with resin and weed still in it, that somehow constitutes giving illegal drugs to children—and that’s kind of a special thing. Their singles “King of The Beach” and “Post Acid” were the best songs they played all night. The rest of their set kind of melted together into one big song with the same tempo (except for a song in the middle that sounded like “Tequila” by The Champs). Williams traded guitars with the lead guitarist before their last song, after breaking a

string and not wanting to replace it. The last song for some reason stood out in a good way, mainly because switching the guitars made it sound a little different from the rest they played that night. There were only four stage dives during the Wavves show. The first two were by the same twig of a girl. The second two stage dives consisted of a synchronized dive by two other grinning girls holding hands. One of them landed on a bouncer’s head in the crowd. He had a super pissed look on his face and immediately got hold of the two girls and speed-walked them out of sight. It was either coincidence or a lot of people were thinking Wavves would blow mad chunks, because if you were to account for all the people that were at the fest during the peak of its attendance and compare it to the miniscule amount of people that watched Wavves, you wouldn’t have thought it was the same fest. It was kind of eerie seeing Wavves play for an audience smaller than what a lot of high school punk bands can draw in, especially for a band that has gotten so much attention over the last year. All the hype and rave reviews they received for their album in magazines and all over the internet didn’t really convince anyone that they were worth coming out to see.

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, October 2011

15 3

oCtoBER 2011 shows lIst
october 1st - 6tH
sat 10/1
Kyuss Lives! with The Sword & Monstro
Kyuss is a modern pop metal band from L.A. Lots of technical jam riffs, leather pants and aviator glasses. The Sword plays nostalgic metal, 70s prog, with modern nu-metal influences. They have classic Frank Frazetta, Heavy Metal Magazine stylings. Monstro is creative pop metal from Atlanta. If Chris Angel had a late night talk show, this is what his band would look like.
Stubb’s Outside 7pm 7:30pm

The Movement with Tin Can Phone
The Movement Sound kind of like Sublime without the heroin (not necessarily a bad thing). Tin Can Phone is an Austin band claiming influences from the likes of NOFX and pop punk to the classic reggae demigods. You can definitely hear their influences. Antone’s 8pm

400 Blows w/ El Paso Hot Button
A night of unconventional band lineups. Headlining, is up and coming rock celebrities 400 Blows (the three piece group that’s missing a bass player), and El Paso Hot Button (the one man band that makes heavy dance rock). The Mohawk Inside 9pm

Carolyn Wonderland CD Release Party
Carolyn Wonderland plays bluesy Americana from Texas. Antone’s 9pm

Quin Galavis
Minimalist acoustic rock from Austin. If you’re a fan of the Nuggets compilations then you should check this band out. Beerland 9pm

tue 10/4
Braids w/ Pepper Rabbit & Painted Palms
Braids is Montreal art rock. One of those bands that music critics generally think is the shit. They’ve been classified as shoegaze haze (whatever that means) and are often compared to Animal Collective. Pepper Rabbit is postShins pop and psychedelic (psychedelic like Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Band rather than junkies-orgies-psychedelic). You could easily picture their music being featured in a FOX Searchlight movie. Painted Palms is feel-good keyboard/laptop pop from L.A. Mohawk Inside 9pm

Chris Catalena & the Native Americans w/ Alana Amram & the Rough Gems, Aaron Blount, The Gulf of Michigan
This show will probably be full of indie folk crooning. Red 7 9pm

Soul Rebels Brass Band
New Orleans funky brass band with lots of catchy hooks from every chart topper in the past 40 years.
Stubb’s Inside 10:30pm

sun 10/2
Middle Class Rut with Ume / Lite Brite
Middle Class Rut plays over-emotional radio stuff in the vein of bands like Hoobastank, etc. Lots of guitar effects, vocal effects, and even more cheese. Ume is a noisy math pop band with catchy riffs and vocals from Austin. They’re one of Austin’s up-and-coming bands, so you should check them out if you haven’t. Emo’s Inside 9pm

Cavalera Conspiracy w/Otep, Headcrusher, Killing In Apathy
Cavalera Conspiracy (CC) is supporting their second album. They play modern heavy metal, from ex Sepultura front man and spiritualist Max Cavalera. You can read a more poetic description of CC’s second album philosophy, on their band website (which reads a lot like J.G. Ballard’s “Crash” with Ed Hardy sleeves tatted all over it). Otep is L.A. nu-metal. Emo’s East 7pm

Cymbals Eat Guitars w/ Hooray for Earth
Alternative indie pop from New York. If you’re fond of music like Hum, MGMT, and Sonic Youth, you might want to see Cymbals Eat Guitars. Hooray for Earth are electro club pop from New York. Their sound is all over the place, and if you listen to groups like Glasser, Hot Chip, or 80s Euro chart music, you’ll find something to like about them.
9pm Emo’s Inside

Leeches of Lore, The Brigade, Sound the Ruin, Seeker, Descend the Ashes
Leeches of Lore are an amalgam of basically every metal genre. Red 7 9pm

Thrice w/ O’Brother, Moving Mountains, La Dispute
From Thrice you can expect a well worked on, “hardcore” sound with lots of practiced screams, sings, and shouts. Most everyone at this show will tell you that they really only like the “early stuff.” La Dispute is poppy internet era hardcore with occasional first wave emo riffs (think Comeback Kid, Rise Against). Emo’s East 7pm

Portugal The Man w/ Blind Pilot
Portugal The Man is poppy, slightly psychedelic-sounding rock from Alaska with vocals that vaguely remind us of Freddy Mercury and with songs that sound like MGMT (a lot). Blind Pilot is indie folk rock from Portland. They once did a bike tour from Bellingham, Washington to San Diego, California. Waterloo Records 5pm FREE

Speak (CD release)
Indie keyboard pop rock from Austin. They kind of have some Disney Channel, Postal Service vibes going on. “Free Vitamin Water” at this show.
ND at 501 Studios 9pm

mon 10/3
Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls w/ Andrew Jackson Jihad, Into It Over It
Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls play acoustic billboard rock from the British Isles. Andrew Jackson Jihad is conscious acoustic rock with super sarcastic, comedy driven lyrics, at times Bo Burnham like. Emo’s Inside 7pm

MC Chris w/ MC Lars, Mega Ran, Adam WarRock
MC Chris wrote for a bunch of Adult Swim stuff. He’s on tour playing joke songs with rap vocals a couple pitches higher than Eminem’s. (The way Eminem used to sound before he got manicured into looking like a bizarre Star Trek lesbian.) Maybe if you follow a lot of the songs’ lyrics and get baked off your ass, you’ll have a good time? Emo’s Inside 9pm

Blind Pilot w/ Dan Mangan
See the above show. The Parish 8pm

Awesome Death, Brett & the Micks, Black Ladder, Good Lazy System
Awesome Death is a joke doom metal band with a theremin instead of guitars. Rude Rachel is disjointed electronic rock from Austin. Black Ladder is 70s prog rock played on a keyboard. It’s kind of like Edgar Winter and Keith Emerson vegging out on their keyboards to anime. Red Eyed Fly Inside 9pm

Taking Back Sunday with The Maine, Bad Rabbits
You know Taking Back Sunday. Polished poppy, but almost screamy vocals, with layered pop punk going in the background. 2000s shit. The Maine is young, ballad pop rock from Tempe Arizona. Bad Rabbits play Prince and Pebbles inspired 80s pop soul. Emo’s East 7pm

Kyle Danger’s Birthday Bash featuring Settlements, Lyon Slycer, Within Your Reach, My Ghost Juliet

Opeth with Katatonia
Opeth is on tour supporting their new album Heritage. There aren’t really any metal vocals on the album, so you should have plenty of time to soak in his beautiful voice. Stubb’s Outside 7pm

Lyon Slycer plays noisy grunge prog from Austin (Cedar Park). Within Your Reach is Austin metalcore. Red Eyed Fly Outside 8pm

For The Most Part, Descendants of Erdrick, Lug, Cannon, The Millipede
For The Most Part sound a lot like an early Drive-Thru Records band or something you would have heard on a Punk O Rama CD. Descendants of Erdrick play technical videogame rock from Austin. They sound more like the Mini Bosses than The Advantage. Red Eyed Fly Outside 8:30pm

Literature w/ Boy’s Life, Shortwave Radio, Milk n’ Honey
Literature is lo-fi pop punk with lots of echo from Austin. They’re playing with Boy’s Life, which, from what we can tell is some sort of a Japanese rock band that combines elements from karaoke, 80s pop, 90s alt-rock, punk, and ska. Beerland 9pm

Gang Gang Dance
Electronic dance music from NY. They use a variety of beats from early British house beats to world music. They’ve been classified as experimental, but that could largely be due to the variety of genres their songs span. Mohawk Outside 6:30pm

Idiot Glee
Much liked and highly regarded lo-fi ethereal pop rock fronted by James Friely, an ingénue twink from Lexington, KY. The band is second most noted for James Friely being a practicing Mormon. 29th St. Ballroom 8pm

Incubus with Young The Giant
We were going to say something rude or snappy about Incubus, but since this show is basically sold out, we won’t. The Backyard at Bee Cave

Viva Voce
A modern take on 90s alt-rock. Mohawk Inside 9pm

tHurs 10/6
ST 37 w/ Book of Shadows, How I Quit Crack, and Thousand Foot Whale Claw

weD 10/5

16 4

The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

october 6tH - 11tH
ST 37 are noisy psychedelic power punk, playing with Thousand Foot Whale Claw, which is ambient psychedelic rock with keyboards. Book of Shadows is “experimental” noise. How I Quit Crack is strung-out distorted noise music with loops and oooohh-aaaaahh cavern vocals. The 29th St. Ballroom 9pm

Fri 10/7
The Ripe w/ The December Boys, The Zest of Yore, Miss Melvis
A power pop-rock show with plenty of catchy vocals and pop riffs. Red 7 9pm

corners of this city for the show. Emo’s East 8pm

Red Eyed Fly Inside 9pm

The Calm Blue Sea with The Boxing Lesson, Frank Smith, and A House A Home
Calm Blue Sea play ethereal Austin post rock or, as one YouTuber said, “exceptional & majestic music.” ND at 501 Studios 9pm

Skatterbrains, Agave Love, Zoo Child, Stampede Mesa & Life on Loan
Skatterbrains sounds a lot like first wave ska and one hit wonders from the 70s. Agave Love is hippie alt-prog from Austin. Red Eyed Fly Outside 9pm

Followed by Static w/ Air Traffic Controllers, Kingdom Of Suicide Lovers, Nazi Gold
A modern rock bill with genres ranging from noise ballads (Air Traffic Controllers) and acoustic post rock (Followed by Static) to jangly mid-seventies inspired punk (Kingdom of Suicide Lovers). Beerland 9pm

Revolver w/ Chateau Marmont
Revolver is head lining the show and they’ll be playing acoustic indie pop from Paris. Chateau Marmont, also from Paris, will be playing electronic indie pop. Mohawk Indside 9pm Chase Frank w/ Ape Machine, Selector The overall sound of the show is going to have a retro feel with Chase Frank playing nostalgic pop rock, and Portland’s Ape Machine frolicking around with classic stoner-rock inspirations (Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin). Club Deville 9pm

Tyler Ward with Buddy Quaid Band
Tyler Ward is acoustic pop from Denver, not too different sounding from The Fray, playing with the Buddy Quaid Band, a typical part-rock, part-country band which seems to be centered around their frontman. Stubb’s Inside 8pm

sun 10/9
The Toro Y Moi after party featuring S U R V I V E w/ Kindest Lines
Both S U R V I V E and Kindest Lines specialize in electronic dance rock. Mohawk Inside 10:30pm

Weedeater w/ Saviours, Bison BC, Fight Amp
Weedeater is North Carolina stoner metal with the occasional metalcore riff. The delay of their last album was blamed on the lead singer accidently shooting himself in the big toe during recording (not while recording) with his “favorite shotgun.” Emo’s Inside 9pm

Buckethead
Buckethead. You might have heard about him because someone told you he did the Power Rangers guitar solo. Or maybe you saw him playing with a freakish FUBU-wearing Axl Rose. He got famous for shredding and wearing a KFC bucket on his head. La Zona Rosa 8pm

Funkervogt
Industrial rock pile with German industrial giants Funkervogt. Elysium 9pm

No Mas Bodas w/ Back Pockets, I Make the Young, Agent Ribbons
A free show with an eclectic bill of popular Austin indie rock. Cheer Up Charlie’s 9pm FREE

Warbringer w/ Lazarus A.D., Landmine Marathon, Diamond Plate
Expect a shit load of metal, mainly thrash. Emo’s Inside 9pm

Portugal The Man w/Alberta Cross
Portugal The Man is playing a free show at Waterloo Records on the 5th at 5pm. See that show for a description. Who’s Bad is playing a Michael Jackson tribute at this show. Stubb’s Outside 7pm

Dolly Parton
So we know those aren’t real … are they? Cedar Park Center 6pm

Tyler Ward, Buddy Quaid Band
Stubb’s- Inside 8pm

ACL Live Presents B.B. King
Still alive? Still touring? It’s kind of miraculous. Tickets must be expensive. The Moody Theater 8pm

Cardinal Cool & The Nuns of Justice w/ Old Flesh
Cardinal Cool & The Nuns of Justice are electro-psychedelia from Austin or, in their words, “shoegaze.” Old Flesh is pretty echoedout. Some songs are punk, some psychedelic, some like a b-side of a Sonic Youth single. Lovejoys 8pm FREE

Subkulture Patriots (album release) w/ Sip Sip, Muggy Flows, DJ Aspekt, DJ Rockwell, DJ Ill Bill, DJ Notion, Shorty C & Blaxsmith featuring D-Madness, Dok Holiday, OT23, Dubb Sicks, and Storm Sthado
Austin hip-hop group Subkulture Patriots will be hearing about a million bands and DJs in celebration of their new album. Flamingo Cantina 9:30pm

Black Irish, Mr Lewis & the Funeral 5, The Flametrick Subs
Black Irish is Austin twangy psychobilly with a violin. Mr. Lewis and the Funeral 5 is vocally theatrical pop-rock. Skinny’s Ballroom 10pm

mon 10/10
Bleached
Gritty alt-punk music by Bleached from Pueblo, Colorado. Mohawk Inside 9pm

sat 10/8
Toro Y Moi w/ Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Bass Drum of Death
Toro Y Moi is from Columbia, South Carolina. Hazy chillwave turned lo-fi pop rock in the vein of Velvet Underground and Spoon. Mohawk Outside 8pm

Kevin Devine
Indie alt pop from Brooklyn. Emo’s Inside 6:30pm

This Is A Joke, Please Be Offended CD Release Show
This Is A Joke, Please Be Offended is a bizarre power-violence band from Austin. Their videos on YouTube alone, from a battle of the bands at Momo’s, make this band worth seeing. Not to mention the Jim-Carrey-on-crack stylings of their vocalist. Anti-Scene is also playing. They are 90s alt-metal pop-rock (Slipknot, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Faith No More, Dillinger Escape Plan). The Red Eyed Fly Outside 8pm

Vile Aura w/ DSGNS, The Tempest, Indisgust
Vile Aura headlines this varied metal show. You’ll hear riffs from second wave emo to mainstream death metal. Trophy’s 9pm

tue 10/11
Friendly Fires
Layered dance rock from England. La Zona Rosa 8pm

Brujeria w/Pinhead
Brujeria is a “Tijuana” grindcore super group (members from: Carcass, Napalm Death, Paradise Lost) with Spanish lyrics about Satan, drug smuggling, and anti-Mexican politics in our country tis of thee. Emo’s East 9pm

Michael Ian Black
You know … the guy from Stella. Mohawk Outside 8pm

Death Cab for Cutie w/ Telekinesis
What is there to say about Death Cab for Cutie? Telekinesis play raw alt pop and are from Seattle. The Austin Music Hall 8pm

Lydia w/ Look Mexico, All Get Out
Lydia is an ambient pop rock band from Gilbert, Arizona. They have over 12 million plays on Myspace, so that should be an indicator of how the show will be. Emo’s Inside 9pm

The Zach Douglas Explosion
Nostalgic singer songwriter music. Skinny’s Ballroom 7pm

Birthday Suits
Very noisy pop-punk from St. Paul, Minnesota. Beerland Outside 9pm

Reverend Deadeye
Southern, twangy slide guitars with songs like “fuck the devil.” Beerland 9pm

Jason Boland and The Stragglers
Old School Honky Rock. Antone’s 8pm

Soda Jerk Presents: Tech N9ne w/ Kutt Calhoun, Krizz Kaliko, Jay Rock, Flawless
Rappers with heavy Juggalo and nu-metal ties coming to Austin? Throw in a shitload of ecstasy, weed, Faygo, cops, and all the crackheads that chill around East Riverside. I wonder what kinds of people are going to come out of the dark

Sounds Under Radio
Energetic high-end alt-rock music with strange vocals that I can only describe as Asiatic hollering. Beerland Inside 9pm

New Found Glory
One of the most popular pop punk bands from the last decade. One of the guys was on cribs showing off his vinyl collection (and mansion). They’re playing with a bunch of similar sounding bands.

Beverly Hensley
San Marcos pop country. S. Austin Sherlock’s Baker St. Pub 7pm

Whiskey Wise Tales
Eerie folk rock.

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, October 2011

17 3

october 11tH - 17tH
Emo’s East 7:30pm

Blackberry Smoke
Southern country rock from Atlanta. Antone’s 8pm

Dance punk art stars currently from New York. They dabble in different types of house and dance music. La Zona Rosa 8pm

FREE

Li’l Cap’n Travis
Expect the night to be full of indie rock ballads in the vein of Ben Kweller and The Flaming Lips. Club Deville 9pm

Imelda May
Rockabilly pop star from Britain. Antone’s 9pm

Electric Six are a comedic rock band from Detroit with songs about McDonalds, Freddy Mercury, and fetishes. They’re playing with Kitten, an alternative dance rock band with swoony female vocals. Emo’s East 9pm

Halaska
A psychedelic post rock show. Red 7 9pm

The Ripe w/ John Wesley Coleman, Manikin
The Ripe play raw psychedelic indie pop rock and are from Austin. Emo’s Inside 9pm

Big D And The Kids Table w/ The Have Nots, Thieves
Third wave ska from Massachusetts. Emo’s Inside 9pm

Star Slinger with Mux Mool / Shigeto
Star Slinger is a renowned Manchester hip hop producer. Definitely check this show out if you’re a fan of groups like Girl Talk or DJ Shadow. Beauty Bar 10pm

Joe Walsh & Kenny Wayne Shepherd
The guy from the Eagles with Kenny Wayne Shepherd, a young(ish) blues prodigy. Bass Concert Hall 7pm

Gringo Star
Crunchy Atlanta pop rock with the occasional punk riff. ND at 501 Studios 10pm

Bearracuda
A throbbing male homosexual dance party for “bears, cubs, and all other forms of wild life.” Video footage of this fest isn’t very well lit. ND at 501 Studios 9pm

Carver with Abandoned Warehouse, Haunt , The Bye And Bye
A bunch of indie rock, mostly from Austin. Beauty Bar 10pm

tHurs 10/13
Laserz, Vomettes, Pianodora, DJ Dylan Reece
It’s going to be a punk show with a variety of genres, from messy electro punk (Lazers,) to garage punk (Vomettes). Cheer Up Charlie’s 7pm FREE

Jason and the Punknecks
Americana roots pop from Nashville. Trophy’s 10pm

The Asteroid Shop (CD release)
Ambient pop rock from Austin. Skinny’s Ballroom 10pm

weD 10/12
Dead Meadow w/ Spindrift, Rings
Dead Meadow play indie psychedelic punk. If you’re a fan of the Black Keys you should look into this band. Spindrift are twangy psychedelic rock. They specialize in making music for overtures and movie soundtracks. Red 7 9pm

Lance Herbstrong, Zeale, & Wounded City
Lance Herbstrong is dub step with reggae toasting from Austin. Zeale is electro hip hop from Austin. Antone’s 9:30pm

sun 10/16
Mortals w/ BOARS, Old and Ill
A psychedelic metal show with post metal band Mortals and down tempo Old and Ill. Red 7 9pm

OFF! w/ Cerebral Ballzy
OFF! is an L.A. hardcore super group with Keith Moriss. They received a lot of mainstream attention for being signed to VICE Records and more so lately because Anthony Kiedis was wearing a trucker hat with their moniker on it. Red 7 9pm

Dark Star Orchestra
Grateful Dead tribute band from Chicago. The Moody Theater 7pm

Goodbye Endeavor w/ In The Works
A poppy power-core show headlined by Goodbye Endeavor. Red Eyed Fly Outside 8pm

Liam Finn w/ Marques Toliver
Indie pop rock from New Zealand. He has toured with Crowded House for their reunion tour. ND at 501 Studios 7pm

OMD w/ Washington
English 80s pop gods, OMD, are still touring and recently finished their 11th album after an almost 14 year hiatus. La Zona Rosa 8pm

Phoenix Down w/ Cover Girls & Buddy Quaid
Indie alt-rock from Austin. Stubb’s Inside 9pm

Hotrod Hillbillys w/ Cold Blue Rebels, The Rocketz
Comedic punk rockabilly from Austin. “We like to sing about fast cars, fast women, whiskeycocaine-and-Texas! But ladies and gentlemen not in that order!” Emo’s Inside 9pm

Tapes ‘N Tapes w/ Howler, Leslie Sisson
Tapes ‘N Tapes had a befuddled Letterman advertising their vinyl LP instead of a CD on his talk show, and Human Giant made an unfunny Ted Leo cameo’d skit about the Pitchfork success of The Lune (the said Tapes ‘N Tapes LP). Watch them perform “Insistor” and maybe later Aziz Ansari will give you a condescending response after you casually compliment his show on your way to the parking lot. Emo’s East 9pm

Lord Buffalo w/ Bridges, The Loblolly Boy
Country pop from Austin. Skinny’s Ballroom 9:30pm

Sabaton w/ Blackguard
Swedish power metal with super campy gruff vocals. Some of their songs sound like they could be in Pirates of the Caribbean. Emo’s Inside 9pm

sat 10/15
Lower Class Brats w/ The Generators, Jensen Eyes, Triple Scorpion
Power punk show headlined by Austin punk band Lower Class Brats. Red 7 9pm

Del Castillo
Sensual acoustic Latin rock from Austin. This show is probably going to be a total cougar fest, so dress up like Zorro and bring your A-game. Antone’s 9pm

Rhett Miller
Alt pop rock from New York. Antone’s 8pm

The Atlas Moth w/ Ken Mode, Skycrawler
Sludgy alt death metal from Gotham, Illinois. Emo’s Inside 9pm

The Drowning Men w/ Milk Thistle
Californian modern alt-rock. If you’re a fan of Coldplay style composition and dejected vocals, you might like The Drowning Men. Beauty Bar 8pm

O.A.R.
“Feel good” acoustic campus rock. Stubb’s Outside 7pm

Circa Survive w/ Maps & Atlases, States
Circa Survive are modern emo and pop prog from Philly. You’d probably like them if you’re into bands like Saosin and Thursday. Mohawk Outside 8pm

OBN III’s w/ The Mahas, Broncho, Crisis Hotlines
All of the bands on the bill have a proto punk sound, especially the OBN III’s, who sound a lot like MC5. Beerland 9pm

Bela Fleck & the Flecktones (The Original Lineup)
Jazzy bluegrass celebrities from Nashville. Part of their “2011 World Tour.” The Paramount Theater 8pm

mon 10/17
The Child Forgives and Creates w/ Deer Vibes, Bear Suit Sucker Punch

Dark Dark Dark and A Hawk and A Hacksaw w/ Pillars & Tongues
Dark Dark Dark are indie folk form Minneapolis. Their hit “Dreaming” has been used in American Idol and Degrassi. A Hawk and A Hacksaw play Balkan folk from Albuquerque, with members of Neutral Milk Hotel and Beirut. The Mohawk Inside 9pm

Fri 10/14
Red Team Go w/ The Riot Scene, Ransom Jack, Sound Refraction
The whole show is going to be a pop punk bonanza. Red 7 9pm

Bob Log III w/ Mr Free and The Satellite Freakout!
Leather clad slide guitar virtuoso and all around weirdo. If you go to this show you’ll bear witness to Bog Log fans stirring his scotch with their “boob.” Sometimes he stirs it with his own. The Mohawk Inside 8pm

Headlining is ambient Texas rock group The Child Forgives and Creates. Some songs sound like they could be heard in the background of a Christopher Nolan movie; others are full-fledged post rock songs. Deer Vibes from San Antonio will be playing happy ambient rock with horns. Red Eyed Fly Outside 9pm

The Rapture 18 4

Electric Six w/ Kitten, Gentlemen Rogues

Bobby Jealousy w/ The Zoltars, Air Traffic Controllers

The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

october 17tH - 23rD
Bobby Jealousy has a very poppy and vocally driven garage rock sound. Also performing is The Zoltars, a jangly lo-fi pop punk band made by fans of The Modern Lovers. 29th St. Ballroom 8pm FREE

Panic! at the Disco w/ Foxy Shazam
I put Panic! at the Disco on every now and then to annoy people around me. But if I had to choose between two shows that were both strange relics from the mid-2000s, I’d say go to this one. Foxy Shazam are campy power-pop with an ironic moustache and lots of ballads, enjoyable if you happen to be a big fan of Queen and Glee. La Zona Rosa 8pm

You should plan on hearing an abundance of feisty blue grass. Frank 9pm

420 Magazine presents Ashes of Babylon w/ Contrabandits, Zig Zag Illusion, El Sancho
It’s going to be a marijuana reggae show with three Austin reggae groups and Corpus Christi Latin rapper El Sancho. Red Eyed Fly Outside 9:30pm

Lonesome Heroes
Anyone who’s into indie country rock will probably like this show. Club DeVille 9pm

Washed Out w/ Sleep Over
Ernest Greene (Washed Out) made a name for himself writing mellow ambient electronic-pop and chillwave on his laptop in his parent’s house (after being unable to find a job as a librarian). Mohawk 7:30pm

Adele
Maybe they won’t bl**p her onstage because they won’t notice her cussing through her bloody accent. The UT Erwin Center 8pm

Allus Killus w/ Codename: Boris, Holy Ka-Kow, Scarlet’s Eyes
Codename Boris songs would fit very nicely during a montage in any teen romance comedy made in the late 90s. They’re going to be playing with Allus Killus, whom will be serving up a vigorous helping of modern Texas alt-rock. Red Eyed Fly Outside 8:30pm

Beta Player w/ The Triggermen, Automusik, Omegadef
An experimental hip-hop and electronic show headlined by Beta Player. Beta Player sounds like a perfect marriage of suburban hip-hop and Henry Rollins Band. Legendary White Swan 10pm

tue 10/18
The Black Dahlia Murder w/ Cannabis Corpse, All Shall Perish
The Black Dahlia Murder play ultra-glossy metalcore. They have triggered, robotic drumming, high-end guitars with a shitload of solos, and screaming. Cannabis Corpse is a messy death metal parody of Cannibal Corpse and similar death metal bands. They’re notorious for their bizarre stage conduct. There’s a good chance you could get away with doing some weird shit during their set, so you should really push the appropriate boundaries. Red 7 9pm

tHurs 10/20
Astronautalis w/ Playdough
Solemn Minneapolis rapper Astronautalis will be headlining with his Isaac Brock style of hip-hop. Mohawk Outside 8pm

Pierced Arrows w/ Don’t, The Young
Pierced Arrows are sloppy garage rock from Portland, Oregon, fronted by rock legend Fred Cole. Don’t have been extensively listed as “exWipers.” Emo’s 9pm

Pack of Wolves w/ The Dead See, Garuda
This show is supposedly the last time Austin death metal band Pack of Wolves will use its original lineup. The Dead See will also be playing a reunion show. Red 7 9pm

Beats Antique
Electronic world-music from Oakland. La Zona Rosa Inside 8pm

Planets
The show is going to be a tour kickoff for Californian progressive punk band Planets. I don’t think there are going to be any vocals at the show. Beerland 9pm

Battles w/ Nisennenmondai
Battles are touring for their new album. They got a 9.1 from Pitchfork, so I guess people like them. Emo’s East 9pm

The Awkward Robot w/ VaNa MaZi
Light acoustic indie from Austin. Skinny’s Ballroom 8pm

Danava w/ Thrones
Portland-based 70s psychedelic prog-metal. They sound a lot like Deep Purple, Uriah Heap, and early Black Sabbath. Thrones … super distorted, bassy powerviolence. Is Thrones ever NOT touring? This show is worth checking out. Mohawk Inside 9pm

Jack’s Mannequin w/ Motion City Soundtrack, Company of Thieves
You can expect extremely sentimental pop ballads about living life from Jack’s Mennequin. Motion City Soundtrack is mid-2000s emotional pop punk. Emo’s East 6pm

The Independents w/ Midwest Monster, The Suede Uppers
Ska punk from the early 90s. Emo’s Inside 9pm

Manchester Orchestra & Cage the Elephant w/ Sleeper Agent
Indie alt-rock with a folky twang from Atlanta. Sleeper Agent is Austin alt-rock. Stubb’s Outside 7pm

The War On Drugs w/ Purling Hiss, Carter Tanton
Alternative ambient soft rock from Philly. Emo’s Inside 9pm

Helmet
New York hardcore veterans promoting their seventh album “Seeing Eye Dog” . Antone’s 9pm

Grouplove w/ The Belle Brigade
When I heard that Grouplove had a song called “Colours,” I got stoked for a second thinking about Ice-T’s classic. But then I heard one of their songs and saw one of their several high-budget internet music videos and got a harsh reality check. They sort of sound a little like Jane’s Addiction, but more contemporary and less weird. Emo’s Inside 9pm

Spot’s B-Day at Trailer Space Records / Michael Beach and John Wesley Coleman III
Okay, there’s “no nite show,” according to the Trailer Space calendar, but we thought you should know anyway. Michael Beach and John Wesley Coleman III will be playing earlier in the day, though. Trailer Space All-day, show at 5

Switchfoot w/ Atomic Tom
This year they won “Best Gospel Rock Album,” so you can count on there being a shitload of Christians at this show. Stubb’s Outside 7pm

Imperative Reaction w/ God Module, Ludovico Technique
Industrial pop-rock from L.A. Elysium 9pm

Peter Frampton
ACL Live presents “Frampton Comes Alive.” Does this mean he’s auto-tuned these days? Moody Theater 8pm

The Naked and Famous w/ The Chain Gang of 1974, White Arrows
New Zealand electro-pop rock. A bunch of their music can be heard in T.V. shows like Degrassi, Gossip Girls, and Prom. La Zona Rosa 8pm

Fri 10/21
Talib Kweli w/ G-Eazy
Alt rap star Talib Kweli will be supporting his new album “Gutter Rainbows” Also appearing . on stage is up and coming, very un-conscious, bay area rapper G-Eazy. Mohawk Outside 8pm

sun 10/23
The Drums w/ io Echo
Jangly pop rock from Brooklyn (Peter Bjorn John, The Cure, bands from the C86 compilation). The Parish 8pm

weD 10/19
Roo w/ These are Words, Laserz, Ghosts of Texas
It’s going to be a show full of weird punk bands. Headlining the show will be noisy, outlandish punks, Roo. Beerland 9pm

Little River Band
Aussie pop rock icons from the 70s. Sometimes the lead singer holds his arms like a T-Rex. Tickets are about four-hundred dollars. One World Theater 7pm

Lionize w/ Larry and His Flask, East Cameron Folkcore, Brothers of Brazil
Rock reggae from Silver Spring, Maryland. Emo’s Inside 9pm

Mother Hips w/ The Preservation
After reuniting in 2004 and putting out a couple of albums since then, San Francisco group The Mother Hips will be filling the air with their special brand of ballad rock. Also playing that night will be nostalgic pop rock band from Austin, The Preservation. Continental Club 12am

Colbie Callait w/ Andy Grammer
Stubbs Outside 7pm

Hawthorne Heights w/ ViFolly, Stukenberg
This band brings back bad memories of high school, but I guess that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go. Emo’s Inside 9pm

No Mas Bodas w/ Pataphysics, Bang Bang Theodores
Skinny’s Ballroom

Mary Chapin Carpenter /w Loudon Wainwright III
Jersey born, Brown graduated, country folk superstar. Part of ACL Live presents. The Moody Theater 7pm

Possessed by Paul James

sat 10/22

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, October 2011

19 3

october 24tH - 29tH
mon 10/24
St. Vincent
Unique and creative songwriting sometimes classified as indie baroque pop, promoting her third album “Strange Mercy.” The Moody Theater 8pm for the raw smell of BBQ and weed. Stubb’s Outside 7pm

Bang Bang Theodores
Distorted, wasted garage rock, with a lot of melody. Skinny’s Ballroom 8pm

Chris Tomlin w/ Louie Giglio
Heartfelt piano music. Austin Music Hall 7pm

to your brown brothers try’n to make it in this fake ass game, and drag your flat ass to the best show in Austin this whole month. Emo’s East 9pm

Shortwave w/ Low Red Center, Anam Mila, Shalom Salon
Alternative pop rock that sounds like The New Radicals. Beerland 9pm

Girl in a Coma
Alt pop rock from San Antonio. If you’re a fan of Elastica, or Letters to Cleo, you might like them. Mohawk 8pm

Alexi Murdoch
Acoustic singer-song writer, promoting his new album “Towards The Sun,” which is receiving even more favorable media criticism than his last, “Time Without Consequence,” which was featured in just about every successful T.V. show for past six years. Antone’s 9pm

weD 10/26
Minus the Bear w/ The Lonely Forest
Seattle based indie math pop. La Zona Rosa 8pm

Fri 10/28
Not in the Face
After party show for Girl in a Coma played by Not in the Face, a degenerate blues punk rock duo from Austin. Mohawk Inside 10:30pm

Flametrick Subs w/ Satan’s Cheerleaders & The Hi-Tones
Burlesque punk-a-billy. They’re probably big fans of The Cramps. The Hi-Tones play fuzzedout synth acid rock. This show promises to be an “Epic. Halloween. Party.” ND at 501 Studios 9pm

Unwritten Law w/ The Ataris
This band was on MTV’s “My Sweet Sixteen” (one of my guilty beat off shows when I was a 17 year old man). Unwritten Law ended up playing at The Hard Rock Café for two of the most spoiled bitches ever (the sweet sixteenies), as an alternative to Beyoncé (long story short, I may have masturbated to a live performance of Unwritten Law). Watch them headline over The Ataris, and maybe you can do the same. Then we can have that shared experience. The Ataris used to only accept fan mail that was hand written and sent by traditional old school mail. Antone’s 8pm

tue 10/25
The Sour Notes w/ Alexis Marceaux, The Samurai, Shakey Graves
It’s going to be a mixed bill with rock’n and mellow bands. Headlining the show is The Sour Notes, providing their own style of Austin indie pop rock. Also, Alexis Marceaux, from New Orleans, will be singing dramatic acoustic indie pop ballads. Mohawk Inside 9pm

Galactic w/ JJ Grey and Mofro
Galactic is a New Orleans funk brass band. JJ Grey and Mofro play funk Soul from Jacksonville. Stubb’s Outside 7pm

Artstrada Magazine Presents: Blood Bath II Night of Robes with Chant, DJ Void, Exstus, Edminister, None
The Blood Bath is being headlined by Austin industrial rock duo, Chant, supporting their new album “Strong Words for Strong People” They’ve . toured with KMFDM and Lords of Acid (the band that had “Rock of Love” reality star Lacey Conner). Elysium 12:30am

Sander Van Doorn
One of Europe’s top-rated DJs. Austin Music Hall 9pm

Alejandro Escovedo
If you’re into original 90s pop rock (original as in not a cover, not as in unique in origin), then you might enjoy this show. Continental Club 10pm

Huey Lewis and the News
The Long Center 7:30pm

Greyhounds
Greyhounds is a two piece blues rock duo from Austin. They have a dirty lo-fi sound with raspy crooned vocals. Stubb’s Inside 11:30PM

sat 10/29
Ex Amigos w/ Rocky VX
Austin’s own Ex Amigos play raw punk in the vein of ‘77 NY stuff, the Stooges, etc. This, combined with Trailer Space’s BYOB policy, should make for a good show. Trailer Space 7pm

Dream Theater w/ Trivium
Progressive metal with dramatic 10+ minute songs with a shitload of virtuoso solos, harmonies, full choirs, death metal drumming, keyboards, and a clish-clash of super distorted and acoustic guitars. I can think of a lot of old friends who would gladly pay hundreds just to smoke out and watch this band live. Bass Concert Hall 7pm

Anika
Anika is a political journalist turned musician, drawing from a variety of 80s no-wave influences. The show is going to have a lot of down tempo songs where most of the melody comes from her voice. Emo’s Inside 9pm

Whiskey Shivers w/ The Rough Riders, Clyde & Clem’s Whiskey Business
It’s going to be a bluegrass and country show headlined by Austin blue grass foursome, Whiskey Shivers. These guys are good at what they do and they’re pretty damn funny. Trophy’s 8pm

Mastodon w/ Black Tusk
Atlanta math metal group Mastodon just put out a new record on Roadrunner Records called “The Hunter.” It was produced by top of the Billboard’s chart list producer Mike Elizondo. La Zona Rosa 7pm

tHurs 10/27
Concrete Blonde w/ Adrian & The Sickness
L.A. alt-rock super stars, Concrete Blonde, from the late 80s is fronted by apathetical vamp Johnette Napolitano. Adrian & The Sickness is an alternative pop punk band from Austin. Emo’s East 9pm

Halloween cover night with Shonen Knife (Ramones), Shannon and thee Clams (DEVO), Good Head (Turbonegro), Germ Free Adolescents (X Ray Spex), Los Crimson Cavaleras (Danzig Legacy Mariachi)
Halloween party with a ton of classic punk, new wave, and metal cover bands. Red 7 9pm

Ocean Grove w/ Voxhaul Broadcast, Robert Schwartsman
All members of Ocean Grove were part of the Jonas Brothers’ backing band. On their own, Ocean Grove makes alternative pop rock that sounds like something you would have heard on the radio in the late 90s. They’re playing the show with Voxhaul Broadcast, an indie pop rock band from L.A. Red 7 9pm

Crystal Antlers
Modern psychedelic pop rock from Long Beach, California. Mohawk Inside 8pm

Deer Tick w/ Virgin Forest
Indie folk-rock from Providence, Rhode Island. Emo’s East 9pm

Fishbone w/ Subrosa Union
Ska band from the early 80s and beyond, that mixed a ton of non-ska genres. They call themselves “jazzy ska-gospel punk rock-reggae,” but what it comes down to is they sound crazy and wear weird costumes. Emo’s Inside 9pm

Beirut
Indie world folk. Tickets are $35, so unless you’re a die-hard fan, I’d maybe think about heading to the free after-show. Stubb’s Outside 7pm

Uh Huh Her with special guest Jarrod Gorbel
Uh Huh Her are an alternative electro synth pop duo from L.A. It sounds like something that would be playing at Forever 21. They’re playing with Jarrod Gorbel, a singer songwriter from Brooklyn. Antone’s 8pm

Pure X w/ Sleep Over, Silent Diane, Survive
Pure X put out their well-received album “Pleasure” a few months ago and they’re scheduled to do a European tour with Sleep Over this November. The show is going to cater to fans of low key psychedelic pop rock. Scoot Inn 8pm

Melissa Ferrick w/ Vandaveer
Stubb’s Inside 9pm

Mother Falcon
Part orchestrated, part pop, part a lot of other things. But with more than a dozen people in a band, what do you expect? Stubb’s Inside 11:30pm FREE

Snoop Dogg
Snoop Dogg has been riding his Doggystyle wave for over two decades, but at $35 per ticket, he doesn’t come cheap. I’d recommend you go just for the off-chance that Snoop Dogg’s posse will knock a fan’s front teeth out onstage, or just

Artists Against Cancer w/ Whitman, Guns of Navarone, Flametrick Subs
An indie rock benefit with harmonicas and that sort of thing. ND at 501 Studios 8pm

Das Racist: Relax Tour with Special Guests Danny Brown and Despot
Help Das Racist pay their Brooklyn living expenses. Downtown apartments, skinny white hookers, and blow don’t cum cheap. So any of you compassionate souls out there, lend a hand

Wild Flag w/ Drew Grow and the Pastors’ Wives
Portland/ Paisley underground .

20 4

The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

october 29tH - 31st
Emo’s Outside 9pm

Dax Riggs w/ Smoke and Feathers, Strange Vine
Noisy americana Rock. Emo’s Inside 9pm

(the lead singer) stage dove naked once (to show how crazy she was). Also playing is Men, an electro- dance music band from Brooklyn fronted by ex-Tigre JD Samson (who has been rockin’ the ironic mustache way before DFA ever made it socially expectable). La Zona Rosa 8pm

PERsoNAls
W4M - The most beautiful blue eyes you’ve ever seen - 28
I’m a domestic goddess and self-employed beauty (5’8” athletic and curvyNOT FAT). Looking for a fun guy to hang out with who has SOMETHING (anything is OK) going for himself. No Bible-thumpers or Rick Perry fans please. [email protected]

Bassnectar w/ Bonobo, Ana Sia, SuperDre
Chris from Guitar Center upped this dude so hardcore (and I ate every solid, veiny, brown inch of it). I bought the Novation Launchpad, downloaded Ableton, and called that fool for guidance and instruction in using the whole mess. After a couple months of phone and email tag, the only result was a couple of links to Bassnectar’s dread locks spinning records and playing with his laptop. If you’re into acid and subwoofers you’ll love this show. Cedar Park Center 6pm

The Wombats with The Postelles and Static Jacks
Modern dance pop from Liverpool, The Wombats, playing with The Postelles, garage pop from New York. If you’re a Strokes fan you’d probably like this band. The Parish 8pm

M4M - Your white slave - 25

WASP HWM putting down the bible, picking up being a slave. Light whips (no chains), fluffy cuffs, leather. No addicts, please. Cocaine & alcohol OK. [email protected]

M4W - College Guy - 21

The Dean’s List w/ Oncue
Electro party rap from Boston. Stubb’s Inside 9pm

New in town (going to UT). I’m 6’1” athletic. You? A smart, sexy, fun girl to , go to Taking Back Sunday with me. Pics only plz. [email protected]

M4W - A little extra - 32

Polaris Presents: The Official Bassnectar Afterparty Featuring Tipper, Govinda, and Psymbionic
Renowned British DJ, Tripper, is well versed in most styles of popular club music. Govinda will be playing electronic world music and Austin’s Psymbionic will be playing some dub. The Parish Midnight

mon 10/31
Beef Bologna w/ Pickled Are Go, Children In Heat, Dolls From The Crypt Pickled Are Go
Beef Bologna are an over the top psychobilly band from Austin. Children in heat are a Misfits tribute band. Emo’s Inside 9pm

I don’t look like a UFC fighter or a Calvin Klein model. Anyone else out there with a couple pounds to lose? Maybe we can do it together? [email protected]

W4W - Looking for a soul sister - 38

I’m loving and caring and looking for someone spiritual who wants to build a life together. Must be attractive and able to keep it weird in the bedroom ;) [email protected]

M4W - Just wanna chill - 23

Alpha Rev w/ Carbon Leaf
Modern pop alt-rock from Austin with Carbon Leaf, alt country and folk from Richmond, Virginia. Antone’s 8pm

Chewy Spewis, the Screws, Lou Reed/ Velvet Underground Tribute, Monster Island
Cover show with Huey Lewis and Lou Reed / Velvets sets. Momo’s 6:30pm

I’m 6’3” white, and just started working out. I study jazz at ACC. Looking , for an athletic-4:20-gamer and someone to spend time with. No smokers, no Christians. [email protected]

Anthrax w/ Testament, Death Angel
Even though Anthrax is a “huge band,” they have at least one album worth jamming every now and then. (Okay, it’s a little corny.) If you like thrash metal at all, go to this show. There will be a ton of it there. Emo’s East 7pm

Skaraoké!
Costume and karaoke party. Prizes for best costume/karaoke song combination. Proceeds benefit the Breast Cancer Resource Centers of Texas. Opal Divine’s Freehouse 8pm

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Zola Jesus w/ Xanopticon
If you like gothy synth pop, then you’ll love Zola Jesus. If Robert Zemeckis wanted to feature a futuristic version of Siouxsie Sioux in Back to the Future II, this is what it would’ve sounded like. Xanopticon is from Pittsburgh and features experimental sounding drums and bass. The Mohawk Outside 8pm

A Live One: Halloween Jam Spooktacular!!
Phish Halloween tribute band. Antone’s 8pm

A circus Halloween: Cookie Monsta & Funtcase with Irresponsible Voltron
Get your dub step fix here. My guess is there will be some people in costumes, too. Republic Live 9pm

Scoot H. Biram w/ Dixie Witch, Chili Cold Blood
Scoot H. Biram plays country punk from Austin. Dixie Witch is alt metal pop rock from Austin, with an occasional classic metal riff. Scoot Inn 9pm

want a show listed here?
send shows listings to [email protected]
(Make sure to include date, time, bands playing, and venue.)
austincut.com | The Austin Cut, October 2011

The Third Annual Zombie Ball w/ Bright Light Social Hour, Black Taxi, Killa Dilla, and more
Moody Theatre 9pm

sun 10/30
CSS (Cansei di Ser Sezy)
Sao Palo dance-pop rockstars, also one of the first bands to be labeled nu-rave. Love Foxxx

21 3

thIs hAPPENEd
uNusuAl EVENts IN PAst oCtoBERs
tim Lambert
another in the 3rd and still another in the 6th. The Yankees would go on to win this game against the St. Louis Cardinals, but they would fail to win the championship. In game seven, Babe Ruth was caught stealing second and that was the third and final out of the game and the Series. This is the first and last time a World Series has ended by a base runner being caught. Two years later, on October 9th, 1928, Babe Ruth would once again hit three homers in one World Series Game, cementing his role as one of the greatest hitters of all time. The only other person to hit three home runs in one World Series game is Mr. October himself, Reggie Jackson. Another Yankee slugger, Jackson hit three home runs off three different LA Dodgers pitchers, all on the first pitch. On October 18th, 1977 with the help of Jackson’s bat, the Yankees won the World Series for the 21st time. The great achievements in baseball become even greater in the postseason. The tension between the teams is immense. The pressure put on the teams by the fans is even more intense. Everyone wants their team to win. When the home team’s player hits a home run, or gets a strike out, or makes a great play defensively, the crowed erupts, the team is loved, and it is awesome. When a player makes a mistake it’s a different story. The most famous of these mistakes happened on October 25th, 1986. It was game five of the World Series between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Mets. The Red Sox were up three games to two and had just scored two runs in the top of the 10th to give them a 5-3 lead. In the bottom of the 10th, Boston imploded and the play in question allowed the winning run to score. A ball bounced into the grass toward the first base line off of the bat of Mookie Wilson. The ball came straight to Boston first baseman Bill Buckner who looked as though he could make the play for the final out and a 5-5 tie going into the 11th. But he didn’t. The ball went right through his legs and escaped into the outfield, letting the Mets take game six and eventually the 1986 World Series. Even though the Mets’ 4th and 5th runs of the game were given up primarily due to bad pitching, most Boston fans blamed the World Series loss on Bill Buckner. He was booed by the home team fans and heckled when he was on the road. He was released by the Red Sox the following year. Eventually the fans forgave Buckner and he came back in 1990 to finish his career in a Boston uniform. Flubs and bad plays are not solely made by the players, however. For an example of this, we have to travel all the way back to 2003. Game six of the National League Championship Series was played at Wrigley Field in Chicago. The Cubs were up on the Florida Marlins by three runs in the 8th inning. With one man on and one man out, Luis Castillo stepped up to the plate for the Marlins. With a full count, Castillo hit a foul ball that could have been caught by left fielder Moises Alou, if it wasn’t for poor, poor, Steve Bartman. Along with many other fans, Bartman reached his hand out for the ball which bounced off of him and into the stands, while Alou came up with nothing and was noticeably upset on the field. Much like the 1986 Red Sox, the Cubs then proceeded to blow the game. By the end of the inning, the Cubs had given up eight runs and lost the game, 8-3. In game seven the Cubs lost again and their season ended, despite being so close to their first World Series berth since 1945. Technically speaking, yes it was definitely the players’ fault, but that’s not how the fans remember it. In their eyes, it can all be blamed on poor, poor, Steve Bartman. The Chicago Cubs haven’t been back to their league’s championship since. October is hands down the most exciting month in baseball. Even if your team isn't involved, it's still worth watching not only because of the level of play exhibited by the players, but also, really weird shit can happen. Let us revisit the 2003 Championship Series, but this time in the American League. Red Sox-Yankees, game three, October 11th. This was another highly anticipated match-up in a line so long we can’t even see the end of it. With the series tied 1-1, the two teams sent their ace pitchers to the mound. Roger Clemens for the Yanks and Cy Young award winner Pedro Martinez for the Sox. After Karim Garcia was hit by Martinez, he slid into second baseman Todd Walker. The next inning, Manny Ramirez stepped up to bat and got a high fastball he didn’t like from Clemens. Ramirez charged the mound and the benches cleared. This is when things got weird. As the players were rushing out on the field, 72-year-old bench coach Don Zimmer rushed out with them. For some reason, this overweight old man decided he would head straight for Pedro Martinez, a man in peak physical condition, not to mention 40 years younger. As Martinez saw this freight train a-comin’ he had to , dodge the swing of Zimmer and in doing so grabbed his head and threw the fat man to the ground. After the dust had settled, Clemens struck out the next batter and the Yankees went on to win the game and this series in seven games. What could have been an awesome 100th anniversary World Series between the Chicago Cubs and the Boston Red Sox (two teams who hadn’t won the World Series since before the Depression) turned out to be the Yankees (a team who spends so much money it’s sort of like cheating) and the Marlins (a team going for its second championship since its inception in 1993). When “the Fish” won in 6 games, Floridians rejoiced then promptly forgot about their team and haven’t really remembered their existence since. Postseason baseball has been around for 108 years. Every year it’s different but no less exciting. It’s exciting to me to think that every year I’m around (barring some terrible event) I can always look forward to opening day in April, watching a game nearly every day during the summer, and a culmination of skill and excitement in October. The best part is, after the series are over and the champions have been decided, there’s still enough time to psych myself up for pushing over little kids and taking their candy. I love October.

Postseason failure, rage, and fuck-ups during Major League Baseball playoffs
by
Since the dawn of man, October in the Northern Hemisphere has meant orange leaves floating down from the trees, darkness creeping upon us slightly earlier every day, and the great candy corn harvest. Since 1903, however, October in the United States has come to mean something more to every man, woman, and child...POSTSEASON BASEBALL! October is the culmination of a grueling 162 game season spanning from April to September. The best teams in the Major Leagues meet head to head for a chance to become World Champions (in this case ‘world’ means the U.S. and Toronto). Baseball’s postseason has only been around for 108 years but in that time legends have been made, curses have been cast (and broken), and some dudes have really blown it. The first incarnation of the postseason was the 1903 World Series between the best team in the 27-year-old National League and the best from the 2-year-old American League. The contest between the Pittsburgh Pirates (NL) and the Boston Americans (AL) was to take place in a best of 9 game series, but it didn’t get that far. In a series that boasted the first World Series home run and the first two World Series shutouts, the Boston Braves of the fledgling American League beat the Pirates in 8 games. It was the beginning of the record books that serve as proof when we say things like, “they’ve never won a championship,” or “they’ve won 20.” By the late 1920s, baseball was well on its way to being “America’s pastime” and the World Series was a large part of it. Another large (and pretty “in-charge”) part of it was the Babe. Born in Baltimore, Maryland in 1895, George Herman Ruth, Jr. was a Major League Baseball player in Boston by the age of 19. Although he started as a pitcher, we know him now as one of the best hitters the game has ever seen. Only two people have ever hit three home runs in a World Series game. One of them is Babe Ruth, who did it twice. On October 6th, 1926 Babe Ruth came to the plate in the first inning and hit his first home run of the game. He would hit 22 4

The Austin Cut, October 2011 | austincut.com

Keeping it local on the

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