The Austin Cut - Issue #8

Flexing Muscle with

the Flesh lights
Page 10

S ilk R oad

A Vicious blow to the wAr on drugs - PAge 7

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The Austin Cut, January 2012 | austincut.com

issue 8

contents
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January 2012

Silk Road: A Vicious Blow to the War on Drugs . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
High-tech software and a new digital currency bring the black market (and high quality heroin) to your home
by Someone who wanted to be anonymous

Fo o d
Served
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tips: do we love gambling?
by Marie Scott

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Drink of the Month
Blue Balls!
by Lisa van Dam-Bates

n e ws

A Criminal Christmas
by Brandon Roberts

. . . . . . More narcotics operations & a Christmas from hell

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Music

Flexing Muscle: An Interview With The Flesh Lights . . . . . . . . . .
by Louis Fontenot

. 10 The Flesh Lights talk about their newest records, the Austin music scene, and show you the art of being a smart ass

b o o ks

Don’t Worry, I Saved the Receipt: A Review of the New Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Biography . 13
Charles J. Shields’ And So It Goes: Kurt Vonnegut: A Life delivers a load of mundane details about an interesting Author
by Wint huskey

t h e P o rta l
by Austin Cut Staff

January 2012 Music List
More jokes and more shows

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austincut.com | The Austin Cut, January 2012

I Solve Problems
Life Advice from H-Bomb
by Heather Marie Watson

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The Austin Cut, January 2012 | austincut.com

Tips: do we love gambling?

Staff
Music Books
Wint Huskey

by Marie Scott
I’ve noticed in the past couple of years that the subject of tipping can be rather touchy. Most people feel very strongly about it. Most think that they are “good” tippers. Some think that tipping is for chumps. I’ve had some friends tell me that they “don’t believe in” tipping, although it’s quite surely real and not a conspiracy theory or unexplained phenomena (I think I’ve been watching too much X-Files and channeling a past-life linguist). In any case, it seems to me that the system of tipping (the system of customers paying their server’s wages) is imperfect at best. I asked around and a lot of people (non-server people that is) say that they would prefer to pay more for a meal and have the establishment be responsible for paying an appropriate wage to its staff. This would take the responsibility and the anxiety off of the shoulders of customers. People tell me that they don’t ever know what a good tip should be and that they often feel awkward about the whole process. I think that eliminating a need for tipping could be a splendid idea, theoretically. But what are the specifics that would make it run smoothly? The first issue is what an appropriate wage would be. The federal minimum wage? I doubt a nice restaurant could find a skilled server that would be willing to work a busy Friday night for $7.25 an hour without the possibility of tips. I think proof of this is that the Austin Club (a private club located in downtown Austin) is pretty much always hiring. They boast a comparatively relaxed work atmosphere compared to the average restaurant, where servers need not depend on tips for their salaries. Kind of like most catering gigs, tipping at private clubs is rare and most definitely not expected, mostly because clients don’t pay their servers directly; they are billed at a later time. I was told, when I applied, that they start off an experienced bartender at $11 per hour. I didn’t even bother going to my interview because, honestly, it didn’t seem like very much money. So, minimum wage is out for “appropriate.” At least in my book. What about a living wage? On a lot of online forums where people discussed the topic of tipping etiquette, people noted a desire for the waitstaff to get paid “living wages” so that tipping would no longer be a social requirement. The only problem I see with the idea of calculating a living wage for servers is that the equation is completely dependent on the assumption of a 40 hour work week. While in most professions this would be a given, everyone that has ever waited tables knows that a major drawback to the job is a consistently inconsistent schedule. But let’s just pretend for a minute that we all had 40 hour work weeks, and that waiting tables was a 9 to 5 sort of gig. I went online and found a site (www. livingwage.geog.psu.edu/) that calculates a living wage based on region. The absolute minimum wage considered appropriate for a single adult in Travis County, according to this site, would be $9.18 per hour. Now maybe I’m just expecting too much money for busting my ass, but if I’m not going to take an “easy” bartending job for $11 per hour, I don’t think many of us would be creaming our pants for this deal. The site I used to calculate a living wage also gave “typical” wages for different professions in the area. The “typical” wage for “food prep and serving related” jobs was calculated at $7.75 per hour. That seems incredibly low, but after some thought, it doesn’t surprise me. If I take into account all of the slow afternoons and bar prep time that I waste at work each week, my average is probably even lower. So why am I staying at a job where I average less than $8 per hour when there exists an easily obtainable $11 per hour, and solid paycheck just minutes away from my current job? Maybe it just feels like I make more because a good night or even a lucky table gives the feeling of being instantly rich. Would servers go for a higher hourly wage without the possibility of tips? I think that the possibility of tips, for me anyway, is almost like gambling. Would I work as hard if tips weren’t in the picture? I’m not sure. Would an insanely stressful Friday night feel like a success without loads of cash in my pocket? I’ll bet that it wouldn’t. It seems as though we would rather gamble with our time for the possibility of a high income, than take an easy job that gives us a solid paycheck. I guess that’s why we’re waiting tables and not folding shirts at JCPenny. So let’s just pretend that us service folk got to vote on our new wages. Although I think the system in Washington, California, Oregon and Alaska is working pretty well (unreduced minimum wages plus tips), for the sake of argument we have to choose between the two ends of the spectrum: what we have now (jack shit plus tips – it’s a gamble) or, an hourly wage with which we could realistically support ourselves (that includes medical expenses, yeah!). What would that hourly wage have to be to make a tip-free serving job worth it? Or would we rather gamble on the chance that someday we’ll make it big? From what I hear, the dealer usually wins. Do you want to be responsible for paying your server’s wages? Or would you rather pay more and not have to worry about tipping? Vote online! www.austincut.com

Editor-in-Chief
Brandon Roberts

Managing Editor
Lisa van Dam-Bates Louis Fontenot, Josh Newport

Copy Editor
Nick Longoria

Contributors & Columnists
Heather Marie Watson, Tim Lambert, Josh Newport, Marie Scott, Curtis Grey

Advertising Director
Lisa van Dam-Bates

Cover Art / Resident Artist
Curtis Grey

Photographer
Aaron Robertson

About This Issue

All right! It’s 2012. We’re that much closer to watching this fucker go up in flames … well, maybe you’re not hoping for all that 2012 shit to come true, but just know that I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Until then, you can help yourself to yet another issue of The Cut. This issue isn’t for wimps or religious / morality nuts. Some people might think the content is a little extreme. Fuck them. Anyone who follows its instructions shouldn’t need to be warned of the consequences of doing such a foolish thing. That said, this is raw freedom. Shower yourself in it. Second, and just as exciting, is an interview with local ragers The Flesh Lights. Louis went through all sorts of hell to get this thing taken care of, but I think you’ll agree with me that is was worth it. We’re accepting donations of alcohol and road bikes (and cash of course ... Bitcoin, too) at the below address.

Journalists! Contact
E-Mail
[email protected]

Reader Poll: Tipping
I’d rather tip and be responsible for server wages. I’d rather pay more for a meal. Employers should be responsible for paying livable hourly wages.
Vote online at austincut.com. Results will be posted here next month.

We’re looking for ambitious journalists who stick out from the insane mob of hacks. Send samples of your work, a little about yourself, and any ideas you might have. Pay is nonexistent, so now is your chance to bail if you’re looking for cash.

Drink of the Month
blue balls!
by Lisa van Dam-Bates

The Austin Cut
1712 E. Riverside Dr. Box 245 Austin, Texas 78741

This recipe is not to be confused with a “blue ball” (blueberry vodka shot dropped in Red Bull). This particular drink was invented by a customer of mine and we named it together. At the bar where this happened, most of my regulars asked me to please never serve them this beverage again, saying it was horrifyingly disgusting. • 3 oz. Blue Moon beer • 1.5 oz. whiskey (we used Kentucky Beau - the house well whiskey, but any whiskey will do) Pour the beer in a glass and drop the shot of whiskey (carefully so the beer doesn’t foam up). Chug it really fast, this one doesn’t seem to impress most palates. Blue balls aren’t supposed to be a pleasant experience (or so I’m told) and this should be no exception. 5 austincut.com | The Austin Cut, January 2012 3

more narcoTics operaTions & a chrisTmas from hell
I’ve heard that, for the cops, the holidays are the busiest time of the year. And for a cop, a busy holiday season actually means extreme chaos on the streets of Austin and in its stores. Instead of giving you the same report of “shoplifters being held at Walmart” or “traffic is backed up into the streets near the mall,” I’ll give you the highlights like I always try to do.

A Criminal Christmas
by Brandon Roberts
Dec 18

ing erection while staring at the victim. Then he “followed her for about ten blocks and waited outside of the building she entered.” He waited for a few minutes and headed back in the same direction he came from.

the suspect who they then figured got away. The apartment dwellers were allowed to head back to their apartments. Around this time, police got a “report of four black males jumping the fence and running.” Nobody was caught.

Dec 22
3:30pm Best Buy off Barbara-Jordan, North Austin Narcotics cops (on the official NARC1 police channel) were finally talking mostly unencrypted. They were at the Best Buy at 1201 Barbara Jordan Blvd, waiting for some guy to get back into his big-ol’ Texas truck. It’s questionable whether or not this is actually “the guy from earlier.” The officer in charge wanted a photo of him and a positive ID: “We got like 500 Mexicans comin’ out of here bro, I need a little somethin’ before he comes out to the truck.” Police got into position to take a picture of the guy as he came out of the store. A minute later, the guy came out of Best Buy, the police got their photos, and they watched him get into the truck. An officer followed him out of the lot. They followed him towards Dell Children’s Hospital and then pulled him over.  After a little bit of talking, they had him get out of the car and they called in the drug dogs. Radios went encrypted for about 10 minutes. Then: “He’s been pretty stoic but now with the dog out he’s movin’ around a little more, which is always a good sign.” After a little more silence, things changed abruptly: “Are we lettin’ this guy go?” said one cop. The officer in charge: “Yeah. I would think so. We don’t have enough people to follow

this guy right.” Another cop: “Hey I gotta find somewhere to eat and use the bathroom.” The officer in charge, joking: “... aaaalllright if ya have to. Thanks to everyone for comin’ out and helpin’ out.”

Dec 24, Christmas Eve
2:20pm East Riverside Police responded to a caller who was “watching a group of people breaking into a car.” 2:50pm Southeast Austin Someone called the police after seeing two men fighting in their apartment hallway. One of them had some sort of a pipe or pole. 5:30pm Northeast Austin Police looked for a “male subject who was slashing tires with a knife.” 9:15pm Northwest Austin At around 8:00pm, I was outside and started hearing fireworks. Then the calls started to trickle in … Police responded to “shots fired” and later figured out that they were just fireworks. They got a bunch of misidentified fireworks calls for hours after this.

Dec 11
4:50pm East Austin Police responded to a case where someone was “jumping on the [caller’s] car and ripping her license plate off.”

Dec 12
4:00pm Narcotics cops were following around two white females in a car. They went into the parking lot of a “quickie mart” (it wasn’t clear which one) and watched one of the females go inside. After about fifteen minutes she came out. One of the narcotics cops watching her said, “I think she’s usin’ I think she . went in and shot up.” A couple minutes later “she leaned her head back … and now she’s chillin’”

Dec 13
9:30am Downtown Austin Police respond to a call from a girl who got flashed in a downtown parking lot. Apparently, the suspect had his pants down with a rag-

3:30pm East Austin Police were called to run off a group of homeless people who were camping under the stairs of an apartment complex. 9:55pm Park View at Town Lake, South East Austin Police responded to some shots fired in the complex a couple hours earlier. The person shot was rushed to the hospital and the SWAT team was called after police suspected the shooter was hiding in a nearby apartment. Residents were herded in a donated Cap Metro bus. This is when I tuned in. With “alpha snipers in position,” and a perimeter of cops set up around the complex, the SWAT team began moving in. They thought that the suspect had climbed into the attic and was going to jump down into one of the other apartments, so they were going to check a bunch of them. After about an hour, SWAT police were still sweeping from apartment to apartment, shooting some sort of gas grenade in some of the rooms. At around 1am, police gave up looking for

Dec 25, Christmas Day
2:00pm Police responded to some type of a murder threat. The caller said she had “weapons at the residence, but they are locked up.” “The caller advised that people were on their way to kill her.” Someone’s getting some fuckin’ coal next year.

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The Austin Cut, January 2012 | austincut.com

high-Tech sofTware and a new digiTal currency bring The black markeT (and high qualiTy heroin) To your home
by Someone who wants to be anonymous
Illustrations by Curtis Grey Should we win the fight, a new era will be born. Even if we lose, the genie is out of the bottle and they are fighting a losing War already. —Silk Road
I’m sitting here staring at an envelope that showed up in the mail. Even though it’s from a totally bizarre return address, I know exactly what’s inside: a quarter gram of East Coast powder heroin. I know what’s in the envelope because I ordered it from a heroin dealer on the internet using Silk Road, the infamous “anonymous marketplace.” I’m definitely not the only person who pulled an envelope with “hard” drugs out of my mailbox like it’s a letter from my grandma. Ever since NPR and Gawker gave Silk Road some unwanted media attention, new users have flooded the site. But it’s not just mediasweetheart drugs like LSD and pot that people are buying. That shit’s easy to get unless you’re underage. Silk Road is a truly free market. That means people are buying and selling everything from weapons to meth to smack and they’re doing it fairly easily. Hackers, anarchists, and criminals have been dreaming about these days since forever. Where you can turn on your computer, browse the web anonymously, make an untraceable cash-like transaction, and have a product in your hands, regardless of what any government or authority decides. We’re at a new point in history, where complicated, highly-technical systems have become freely available and pretty easy to use. But before you can join in on the party, you gotta understand what makes all of this possible. Welcome to Tor (a network for anonymous web browsing), Bitcoin (a new cash-like digital currency with anonymous properties), and strong encryption. fairly anonymous way: the Tor Project. Tor, short for “the onion router,” is a network of volunteer-ran computer systems (nodes) that accept internet traffic and send it to other nodes. After going through a few nodes, your internet data gets spit out onto the internet, to its destination, by an exit node. In order to make sure that your internet traffic is anonymous while traveling through the Tor network, data is encrypted in layers. A good analogy, one that the Tor project uses, is an onion. Let’s say that I’m connecting to Facebook, and I don’t want Facebook to know where I’m connecting from. I’d load up Tor (you can find it at www.torproject. org) and connect to Facebook using the Tor browser. What happens under the hood is basically this: my internet traffic would be encrypted several times, in layers like an onion. Then my data would get sent into the Tor network. Each node that got my traffic would decrypt one layer, peeling off one layer of the onion, and send it to the next node. This would happen a few more times until all the layers of the onion were peeled and the original message was left. At that point an “exit” node would send it onto the regular internet to Facebook. All Facebook would see is a connection coming from some random computer. Further searching might show that my connection came through the Tor network, but little else. Don’t think this means that Tor automatically makes you totally anonymous. Internet traffic exits the Tor network the same way it goes in, so if you’re not encrypting your traffic yourself, and especially if you’re including personal information about yourself (like logging into your Facebook account), it would be easy to figure out that you connected through the Tor network. Also, if an attacker controls or monitors both the Tor entry and exit nodes, it would be possible to link your traffic to you. If something like Silk Road was just a regular website, where you could connect to it normally through a bone-headed internet connection, it would be easy for the government (or anyone else) to track down the server, confiscate it, throw everyone involved in prison, and throw away the key. One Tor feature that makes locating servers difficult, making Silk Road even possible, is hidden services. Using Tor, anyone can create a website (or any other web service) on their computer and allow people to connect to it using the Tor network through an .onion URL. (Example: the Silk Road forums’ URL is http://

Silk Road: A Vicious Blow to the War on Drugs

Tracking Us Through The System

Tracing people through electronic networks has been embedded on the minds of all TV and movie viewers since at least the ‘80s: Clever criminal: “You know you’ll never find the bomb … you stupid fucking pig!” One FBI agent to another: “Keep him on the line! We’ve almost got a trace!” The criminal hangs up abruptly. FBI Agent: “Damn it! We didn’t get the trace!” Since the beginning of computer “crime,” hackers have gone through many elaborate steps to hide where they’re connecting from. This generally meant routing your connection through so many computers that it’d be very hard and time-consuming to find where you are actually coming from. Over the years, non-criminals decided they needed a way to hide their traffic from “Big Brother” type governments, even for day-to-day internet browsing. Today, there is a pre-packaged and simple way to route our internet traffic in a

dkn255hz262ypmii.onion) These addresses look like a jumble of letters and numbers, because they’re generated using cryptography, not for readability or memorability. The Tor software understands this .onion address and will connect you, anonymously through the Tor network, to this hidden server without leaving the network. Finding where the server is located can be extremely difficult. And trust me. They’re trying. Silk Road is a Tor hidden service and can be found at the address silkroadvb5piz3r.onion, but only through Tor. If you put that into your normal web browser, it will just shoot you back an error, telling you it can’t find what you’re looking for. There are a lot of useful Tor hidden services, a major one being Tor mail, an anonymous decentralized e-mail provider. You can find it at jhiwjjlqpyawmpjx.onion. But Tor alone isn’t enough to make a site like Silk Road secure, or even remotely safe. Payment, shipment, and government eavesdroppers are still a problem. This is where Bitcoin and public-key encryption come in.

Leaderless Currency

Bitcoin is the first successful decentralized digital currency that we’ve ever seen. The idea of digital cash has been around for almost as long as the internet, but every form relied on some company or authority to regulate and control things. According to the creator, Satoshi Nakamoto, this has been the root of all previous digital currencies’ failures.

In order to get around what Nakamoto called “trusted third-parties,” Bitcoin uses a peer-to-peer network of computer systems that work together to automatically control transactions and the currency. Anyone who wants to use Bitcoins can connect to the network and be a part of it. Tasks that the U.S. Mint and the Federal Reserve would normally do with the dollar are spread out across the huge network of users. Decentralization is what makes this different from any other currency. There is no central authority. Monetary policy is controlled by the majority. No single group or person can force the network to do anything or follow any rules. “Satoshi Nakamoto” posted the first version of Bitcoin onto a cryptography mailing list in January 2009. Nobody on the list knew who he was. Most people agree that Satoshi is a fake name. He e-mailed other Bitcoin developers using an anonymous mailing service and gave out zero personal information about himself. After a few years, Nakamoto stopped working on the project and people who’d been there since the beginning took over. A lot of articles go into depth about who Nakamoto might have been. But what’s the point? It’s not like he invented Bitcoin from nothing. The technical document, bitcoin.pdf, references and builds on some other related projects and ideas. The closest is B-Money, written by crypto-thinker / computer programmer Wei Dei in 1998. In the article, Dei

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, January 2012

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describes a theoretical system for people to send and receive money in anonymous and untraceable ways. Even though there were problems with the technical side of B-Money, the philosophy behind it is similar to what’s behind Bitcoin. Wei Dei wrote: “In a crypto-anarchy the government is not temporarily destroyed but permanently forbidden and permanently unnecessary. It’s a community where the threat of violence is impotent because violence is impossible, and violence is impossible because its participants cannot be linked to their true names or physical locations.” In that way, it makes sense that whoever created Bitcoin didn’t want their real name(s) linked in real life. It would be too easy to attack (or corrupt) the world’s first popular decentralized currency if there was a spokesman or leader. Cut off the head, kill the body.

“So what the hell is Bitcoin?”

There’s a lot of bullshit going around about what Bitcoin is. Some people are calling it a “Ponzi scheme.” Another popular myth is that it’s a scam because the people who were involved in the beginning (back when a Bitcoin was worth less than a penny) now control millions of dollars worth. That sounds exactly like every successful business deal ever made to me. The developers and supporters make it clear that this is experimental and that it’s an extremely high-risk investment. They only hope that people will find it useful. For every skeptic, there’s someone calling Bitcoin the beginning of a revolution where the U.S. Mint, Federal Reserve, Visa, MasterCard, and PayPal are challenged and eventually made obsolete. Enough opinion. Let’s get down to what makes this new and exciting. The next bit will be a little technical, but I’ve tried to break it down into small, simplified sections that should be easy enough to understand. Bitcoin is made up of two main parts: a system for non-reversible spending and a way to prevent “double spending.” With cash, as a seller, you don’t have to worry about someone not having the money. It’s right there. Straight cash. But with credit, 8 4

payment is handled by companies like Visa and PayPal, who transfer money from one person’s account to the other’s. Up until Bitcoin, using one of these companies has been the way to do business, especially since most online transactions happen between total strangers and the chance of getting burned is high. In a perfect world, all these companies do is take money from A and give it to B and try to make sure that a product gets from B to A. But since they’re forced to settle problems between buyers and sellers, the processors require us to hand over all kinds of personal information. Their services aren’t cheap, either. Credit companies take flat fees and percentages from every transaction processed. They also have total control over what types of transactions or products are allowed. Like cash, Bitcoin lets its users make non-reversible payments to anywhere in the world. To understand how this can be done digitally, you need to understand “public-key cryptography.” There are two parts to public key encryption: a public key and a private key. You can think about a key like you would one that goes into a doorknob. One key, the public one, can lock a private door, but not unlock it. With the private key, you’d be able to unlock the door that was locked by the public key and take whatever was in the room. In publickey cryptography the process works in one direction. So you wouldn’t be able to unlock the private door with the public key once it was locked. The keys are generated in pairs. The public key is created from the private key. Standard encryption goes like this: a message is encrypted with a public key and decrypted with a private key. Let’s say that someone wants to send me an encrypted message that only I can read. First, I would use a program like GnuPG (this is a free public-key encryption program, based on the “OpenPGP standard”) to generate my public and private encryption keys. Then I’d give the sender my public key. I’d hide my private key somewhere secret where only I could get to it. The sender would take my public key and use it to encrypt a message. Only someone with my private key would be able to decrypt that message.

“Signing” a message is a similar, but almost-reverse process. With my private key, I can run a set of mathematical operations on a digested version of my message (called a “hash”). This would create a digital signature, which I would attach to the end of the message that I am signing. Anyone who wanted to see if I’d written the message, or if it’d been changed since they got it, would create their own hash of it, and then use my public key to decrypt the signature, revealing my version of the hash. If both are the same, it means that whoever signed the message had my public key and that the message hasn’t been changed since its signing. Bitcoin uses this as the base for transactions. So, let’s say that I have 10 Bitcoins and I want to send them to Bob. Let’s also say that I got them from Liz. I would create digital a message that basically says: “I will pay Bob 10 Bitcoins I got from Liz.” I will take my private key and sign the message. To prove that I sent the Bitcoins, anyone could use my public key to prove that I signed the message. In other words, proving that I spent my 10 Bitcoins to Bob. Signing is spending. Your digital “wallet” is basically your private key. So, whoever has your private key controls your wallet and can spend your Bitcoins. But if there’s no middleman like Visa or PayPal, I could easily sign the transaction above and then sign another transaction that says: “I will pay Matt 10 Bitcoins I got from Liz.” Matt and Bob wouldn’t know that I spent my Bitcoins twice. This is what was known as the “double spend.”

In the above examples I used “Bob” and other generic names to make a point about Bitcoin transactions. But really, no names are used. Instead, money is transferred between cryptographic aliases, which are based on someone’s Bitcoin wallet (private key). These aliases are known as addresses. The above “Bob” example, would actually look more like this in the ledger: “29ac41a will pay 0ab55af 10 Bitcoins I got from ffab7ab,” with the random numbers being Bitcoin addresses. Unless you accidentally let people know which address is yours, it is possible to make fairly anonymous transactions. But sharing the ledger using a peer-to-peer network, and using that ledger to believe a transaction, means that the ledger must be trusted. And that goes against the foundation of Bitcoin, which basically says trust nothing and demand proof of everything. This is known as the “proof-of-work” system. Instead of the Bitcoin network just sharing random transactions and trusting all of them, the computers in the network are doing something called “mining.” The process of mining is complicated, and a little outside of what I want to be talking about, but it basically comes down to a few things. Transactions are sent out over the network and are collected by other people’s systems that are set up for mining. The mining systems (“miners”) group up the transactions into “blocks.” Every block has a reference to the block before it, so they build what’s called a “block chain.” The miners take these blocks and run sets of intensely mathematical operations on them until they find a specific result. This result is agreed upon by the network based on The Bitcoin P2P Network how much time (and processing power, a.k.a. The real innovawork) it takes to find, tion about Bitcoin is its “They have accounTs averaging to once every relatively simple method ten minutes. Right now aT chase Bank and for eliminating double (Dec. 2011), the estimated Bank of america, and number of tries it would spending and powerful “trusted” third parties: the you can make an anon- take to find the answer peer-to-peer network. ymous cash deposiT to the next block takes Peer-to-peer (P2P) somewhere around 4.68 inTo Their accounT To quadrillion computations. networking is something that almost everyone has pay for your BiTcoins. While it’s extremely used by now. BitTorrent This is how i goT Them. difficult to find the correct is probably the most answer to the next block, no id required.” popular use for this type it only takes a second to of network. When you check and make sure that download a torrent, all you’re doing is loading it’s the correct answer. As the blocks build a link to a few computers who share the same on each other, transactions in blocks deeper goal as you (downloading a file). The hope is down are more trusted than ones in brand that those users will link you to some others new blocks. (Because more “work” has been who link you to others. All of them will send done on top of that block.) you small parts of the file you want until you The block chain is what is being shared have the whole thing. If another computer on the Bitcoin P2P network. Anyone who pops up on the network that needs a piece of receives a transaction can check back through the file that you have, you can send it. Unlike the block chain to make sure that those Napster, chopping the head off of one or even Bitcoins haven’t already been spent. If they one hundred of those systems will do almost have, then the transaction is rejected and it nothing to stop you from downloading the shouldn’t end up in the block chain. Othfile, as long as there are enough computers erwise, miners will continue to spread that left connecting to each other and that they transaction to other miners who’ll include it are physically spread apart. (Like in different in the block they’re working on. countries with different laws.) There’s a 50 Bitcoin bonus (or “bounty”) Bitcoin takes this idea and makes the file given to the person who finds the correct that everyone is sharing the Bitcoin ledger, result to, or mines, the next block. Every four or the history of all transactions. This makes years or so, the amount of Bitcoins awarded private organizations like banks and credit to a miner gets cut in half, meaning that the companies unnecessary. In Bitcoin, everyone total number of Bitcoins will max out at 21 is the bank. million, sometime in 2140. This was chosen to

The Austin Cut, January 2012 | austincut.com

make the supply of Bitcoins more like that of people crawling into caves digging up gold or silver. It also gets rid of the need for a mint. In order to run the Bitcoin software (you can find it at bitcoin.org) you have to be connected to the internet. Theoretically, someone might be able to trace your IP address to some sort of Bitcoin activity, so a lot of people configure their Bitcoin client to run through Tor. Luckily, the official Bitcoin software makes connecting through Tor as easy as one click. There are a ton of places to buy Bitcoins online. Most of them accept bank account transfers, checks, prepaid debit gift cards, money orders, and even cash. Credit companies and other online payment processors like PayPal have been “unfriendly” to Bitcoin-related companies (suspending accounts, freezing money), so it’s not quite as easy as swiping that plastic, yet. Even though within the block chain, transactions are only made between randomseeming addresses, it’s not that hard for an investigator to trace a Bitcoin purchase to a person. Bitcoin was never intended to be used to launder money, to totally hide the fact that someone ever bought them, or to keep secret how many they have. It was just meant to make the transactions not directly linked to names; the rest is up to us. The easiest and quickest way to buy Bitcoins is to transfer money from your bank account to an exchange company, who will buy Bitcoins for you at market price plus a small fee. But a lot of the payment methods, especially a bank transfer, leave an ugly paper trail leading right back to you. “Tumbling” is a way for people to mix up the trail of transactions by swapping their Bitcoins with each other. There are a few ways to do this, but a popular way is to send your Bitcoins to what’s called an e-wallet, which is basically an address and wallet stored on a website somewhere. Assuming the site operator isn’t a scammer, and that a hacker doesn’t steal all the wallets stored on the site while your Bitcoins are there (these things have happened in the past), you can send your Bitcoins to an e-wallet and then to another address that you create. (The Bitcoin software also makes this as easy as a click. The official recommendation is to create a new address for every transaction.) Doing this a few times, through different sites or exchanges, can make tracing where your Bitcoins went or came from harder. I bought Bitcoins using a popular exchange service called GetBitcoin. They have accounts at Chase Bank and Bank of America, and you can make an anonymous cash deposit into their account to pay for your Bitcoins. This is how I got them. No ID required. Teller: “GetBitcoin, LLC? What kind of company is that?” Customer: “It’s an internet thing. I just need a receipt, please!” I took a photo of my receipt, and e-mailed it to GetBitcoin using an anonymous address I created using Tor mail. Within a day, I had Bitcoins in my wallet. Besides getting me on Chase Bank’s security camera making a cash deposit, there was no trail proving that I ever bought Bitcoins. I got rid of the receipt, and

Getting Bitcoin

securely deleted the picture of it. For the hell of it, I transferred my Bitcoins to a couple e-wallet services and then back to a newly created address. I was happy with the number of steps I’d taken to hide the tiny trail that might have existed, and I figured it was time to spend my Bitcoins on Silk Road.

Silk Road users get together and talk. Vendor ratings can also be found on here. For each group of drugs, there are a couple veteran sellers who are basically Silk Road drug dealing professionals. These people ship quick, package carefully, sell at fair prices, and have generally awesome reviews. The guy who I bought heroin from was one of these people, and is basically the go-to guy Cruising Silk Road … for the stuff. He had a ton of reviews. One guy Buying Some Smack was excited enough to write: “Just pulled the Visiting Silk Road for the first time is needle out of my arm and all I can say is ‘ahhstrange. The first thing you see is an extremely hhhhhhhh.’ This dope is among the best and minimalistic login box and a message warncleanest I’ve had. The shipping was fast as all ing you to double check the URL. I guess hell too. This Silk Road heroin dealer is the there are a ton of people out there setting up real deal. Thanks a ton, bro!” fake Silk Road sites that steal your password. Buying anything on Silk Road is extremely I took a page from Philip K. Dick’s The easy. Once you have the Bitcoins, you send Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, and turned them to an address that is connected to it into a ridiculously long and complicated your Silk Road account. (Silk Road tumbles password. Then I was in. Silk Road is a culture your Bitcoins with other users’ as an added shock compared to modern websites. It’s precaution, but that’s basically trading drug rugged. Nothing but green text and photos money for drug money.) Once the Bitcoins of products: pharmaceuticals, psychedelics, are transferred, you can buy a product just weed, and every illegal powder you could like you would on any dream of. site using the Silk Road Even though the ex“Then i was in. silk shopping cart. Once you treme majority of prodbuy the product, Silk Road road is a culTure ucts sold on Silk Road shock compared To holds your money and are drugs, you can get asks you for your address. anything from e-books modern weBsiTes. Here’s how Silk Road on “anarchy” type topics, escrow works: you buy iT’s rugged. noThto GPS tracking devices, a product using the site ing BuT green TexT to downloads of popular and Silk Road holds onto and phoTos of prod- your Bitcoins; you enter porn sites. There are even Silk Road T-shirts going for ucTs: pharmaceuTi- the shipping address and about thirty bucks. cals, psychedelics, it is sent to the seller, your Almost everything on order is now in “processweed, and every Silk Road is a little overing.” Once the seller ships priced. The site adminillegal powder you the product they mark the istrators take a cut of the order as “in transit.” (The could dream of.” sales and since the Bitcoin seller has three days to fluctuates in value so do this, or else the order quickly, dealers often add a small percentage can be cancelled.) Once the package arrives, to try and compensate. the seller marks the order as “finalized,” the It’s easy to get the picture that Silk Road is Bitcoins are given to the seller, and the buyer some kind of a free-for-all where you’re concan leave feedback and a 0-5 rating. Finalizastantly one step away from getting your digital tion cannot be undone and escrow is over. cash stolen by scammers and your identity Some dealers demand that buyers with less revealed to the cops. But really, Silk Road than five or so transactions finalize before makes buying shit that can get you thrown shipment, but not all do. If there’s a probin a prison cell for a decade or so, incredibly lem between buyer and seller, the Silk Road smooth and simple. administrators will help resolve it. A common Drugs are divided by type: “opioids,” result is 50% refund to the buyer if the seller “stimulants,” “marijuana,” etc. Individual listreships 50% of the product. ings are sorted by top-selling items. You can In my and a lot of other people’s opinions, see the username of the seller and their ratsending the address is the sketchiest part of ing: a 0 – 100 scale, based on the seller’s past the whole deal (for the buyer, at least). You have to trust that your dealer isn’t a cop, and customer reviews. There is also a Silk Road that your address isn’t going to get leaked forum (a separate Tor hidden service) where

out. Most vendors put their public encryption key on their information pages and urge you to encrypt your address before sending it to them. On the same page, sellers usually go into some detail about their operation, some precautions to take, and how good their packaging methods are. One respected seller warned users to never check a tracking number using Tor. According to this particular seller, postal companies watch for connections from the Tor network and confiscate the tracked packages. Silk Road has a few suggestions of their own for receiving products. Never ship directly to where the package will end up. Ship to a real name, or a very similar looking name, so the mail actually gets delivered by the mailman. And never sign for a package. The precautions are there to make the mail blend in and the transaction go smoothly, with as little interference from authorities as possible. As far as I can tell, it works. A regular looking envelope showed up in the mail three days after ordering. The return address was for some nerdy shop on the East Coast. Imagine what kind of a mind-blow it would be for the owner of a shop that sells Pokémon shit to find out that their business is being printed as the return address for heroin filled envelopes. There was a hilarious post on the Silk Road forums by two people arguing about some kind of a botched deal. One guy said he got ripped off (someone finalized their order on accident, from what I can tell) and was threatening another, more respected, user IN ALL CAPS. He went on and on about how nobody disrespects him and how in real life he fucks up anyone who tries. People on the forum made fun of him and told him to shut the hell up. It showed how successful Silk Road really is. It makes drug buying and selling so smooth that it’s easy to forget what kinds of violent fuckers drug dealers can be. That’s the whole point of Silk Road. It totally takes evil pieces of shit out of the drug equation. Whether they’re vicious drug dealers or bloodthirsty narcotics cops, both sides of that coin suck and end pretty much the same way. Death, despair, madness, prison, etc. Thanks to decentralization and powerful encryption, we’re able to operate in a digital world that is almost free from prohibition and the violence it causes. Senators Joe Manchin and Charles Schumer declared war on Silk Road and Bitcoin in June this year. In a highly-publicized press conference, Schumer called Silk Road a “brazen attempt to peddle drugs online” and dumbed Bitcoin down into a high-tech money laundering tool. Anyone who agrees with them isn’t just cheapening what’s happening, but is missing the whole point. This goes beyond people trying to get around laws and use the internet to commit crime. This goes beyond that nasty scar on the face of human history, the “war on drugs.” This is about real freedom. Freedom from violence, from arbitrary morals and law, from corrupt centralized authorities, and from centralization altogether. While Silk Road and Bitcoin may fade or be crushed by their enemies, we’ve seen what free, leaderless systems can do. You can only chop off so many heads. This is the future.

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, January 2012

9 3

Flexing Muscle: An Interview With The Flesh Lights
The flesh lighTs Talk abouT Their newesT records, The ausTin music scene, and show you The arT of being a smarT ass
by Louis Fontenot

RobERts

The Flesh Lights from right-to-left: Max (guitar), Elissa (drums), and Jeremy (bass) I blew it. After a nasty run in with a curb, my bike was rendered unable to ride. I assured the concerned homeless lady nearby that I was fine, then I locked my bike to the nearest handicap parking sign and began to walk the fifty or so blocks I had ahead of me to my house. The interview with The Flesh Lights I had set out to get five hours prior had left me only with a ridiculous and charmingly smartass fifteen minutes of tape recording. Ten minutes of which was salvageable, but still required me sifting through my drunken erratic questions, their patient answers, and a lot of background noise from the crowd exchanging hellos, goodbyes, and plans to get to the next party or just home. Following is what was decipherable: Louis: I want to know what you think good is going on with music in Austin right now? Jeremy: Everything going on at The Ballroom and Beerland, I feel like we definitely have a tight core group of musicians here. Ask Elissa what she thinks. Louis: Elissa! Elissa: What? Louis: What do you think about, you know, music going on right now, other than your fucking amazing band. Elissa: In Austin...Um, I really like the Gary Glitter cover band. (Laughs all around.) Definitely, everything Orville does. Nazi Gold, that really is one of my favorite bands. Jeremy: Yeah, Nazi Gold, The Best, and The Flesh Lights. That’s It. (Laughs.) No, I mean we just went on tour with The Dead Space. They’re bros for sure, we had a great time. Only band I wanna go on tour with. No, I’m kidding, that’s not true. Ask Max a question. Louis: (In a jackass journalist tone.) So How, How…(Laughter)…So how do you feel about progressive rock? Max: Oh, I love The Dead Space! (Laughs, from us.) I’m a huge fan of The Dead Space, if that’s what you’re asking. 10 4 Louis: No, what I’m asking of you is what I asked them. What do you care about in music town. Jeremy: (Jokingly) He Likes The Best a lot. Max: I think my favorite bands in town are probably, Nazi Gold, The Best, and The Gospel Truth. Elissa: The Dead Space...? Jeremy: …and John Wesley Coleman. Max: No, just those. Only, The Best, Nazi Gold, and The Gospel Truth. Louis: So what do you guys got going on next? Max: Well we might go on tour in February with the...uh.... Sailor Jerry bands. Jeremy: With The Pouges. (Laughter.) Max: Sailor Jerry might sponsor us to do that. Jeremy: Oh we have records coming out! We’re doing a record with Super Secret, then we have another with Play Pinball, and then also Indian Records from D.C. is putting out a 7’’ for us during SXSW. For some reason some fucking people like to listen to cassette tapes... Louis: Yeah, there’s some of those… Jeremy: ...which is clearly fucking retarded, so we might do one of those....if the money’s right. Louis: (Laughing.) Okay, Okay. So what are some influences? Elissa: We really like The Dictators. Jeremy: We DO really like The Dictators. Elissa: Not fascist dictators, but the band. Louis: Of course, of course. So what pisses you off, you know, musically? Elissa: Having to walk down Sixth St. and having to hear people getting excited over an acoustic guitar... Jeremy: You know what pisses me off, and this is not a stick at anyone, but fucking cover bands I’m sick of them. After the New Year, that’s it. No more cover bands. While this was a joy of an experience, and The Flesh Lights totally killed another set, crammed full of jammers, I was unsatisfied with the amount of material that I had. I hadn’t asked any of the questions I intended and time had been more limited than I had hoped. Also, I was drunk. I mulled this over while I finished the walk home, two microwave burritos in my pocket and a head like a fishbowl of whiskey. Not at all a victory lap. I racked my mind trying to remember some answer I had overlooked, something that would glue the meager questions and answers into a full article. There was nothing to be done. I had to buy some time on my deadline and call Jeremy in the morning if I was going to have enough material to make the article happen. After some touch and go planning I was finally able to set up another interview with Max and Jeremy (Elissa was unavailable), the following Wednesday at a winter formal that was going on at the 29th Street Ballroom. With a hot Earl Grey in tow, and not a drop of whiskey in my person, we sat down to a much more professional interview. Two of us were even wearing suits. Louis: So I wanted to ask you guys about the record, Muscle Pop, you recorded at Sweatbox? Max: Yeah, with Mike Vasquez. Jeremy: The Vasquerino. Louis: How was working with him? Jeremy: Great. Max: Yeah, Mike is...AWESOME. Jeremy: Yeah he did a lot for us, he made the record sound great. All we told him from the start was that we wanted it to ... sound tough. Max: (Simultaneously) Sound tough. (Laughs) Jeremy: ... and he did that, I feel. Max: Yeah recording with Mike, we’ve only done it a handful of times, and it’s been awesome every time. For Muscle Pop … I feel like he did a perfect job, and he invested a lot of energy

The Austin Cut, January 2012 | austincut.com

into it. He definitely was like, I see what you’re going for and I’m going to try my hardest to get every, perfect sound. Jeremy: He let us run with it too, he was never uptight or a pain in the ass to work with. Just then Ben Tipton exits the bathroom, toilet flushing behind. Max: Hey, can Ben Tipton get a quote in here. Louis: Yeah. ben tipton: You guys are doing an interview? Max: There’s your quote. (We all laugh) Louis: So let’s talk about the Naw Dude/The Flesh Lights split 7’’ How did that come together? . Jeremy: That was Gerard’s idea right … Max: No. That was ... Doug. Jeremy: Oh yeah. Yeah. Max: Yeah I was talking to Doug from Naw Dude. He was working at Red 7, we were playing a show and we played Bummer Bitch. He came up to me afterward and was like, “Oh dude I’m so pissed, Naw Dude was gonna cover that song.” Then I told him we just recorded it. Then I said something like, “why don’t you guys record a version and we’ll do a split.” Just as a joke though, we were just joking around with that idea. Then JJ asked Gerard if he would do it, and Gerard said, “Yeah I’ll do it for sure.” Jeremy: But, then Gerard thought it was a joke too. (Laughter) Max: I just feel bad for all the money Gerard’s going to lose on that record. I think all but ... five of them ... have been returned. Jeremy: I think he’s going to have to melt them down and make ashtrays in order to sell them. Max: Yeah. Jeremy: So keep an eye out for The Flesh Lights/Naw Dude ashtrays. They’re going to be a little late for stocking stuffers ... Louis: (Laughing) Max: I actually heard an edited version of Naw Dude’s “Bummer Bitch” on the radio recently, but it said it was The Flesh Lights, and it was like “Bummer Bitch!.....Bummer Bitch!”(Laughter) But, then that’s all it said. Jeremy: Well they said the B word ... Max: They also said “be sick,” but no “sucking of dicks.” Jeremy: Yeah no dick sucking. Louis: So it’s just “Bummer Bitch,” and then the lyrics were missing … Max: Yeah, then maybe “you give me zits,” and that’s about it. Jeremy: Wait, so now people think we’re Naw Dude? .... That’s not cool. (Laughter) Max: I think that record turned out really cool. I’m into it and I think we’re all surprised it really happened. Jeremy: ... and Gerard’s label, 12XU, is really...productive. Max: Gerard is putting out a shitload of cool shit right now. Jeremy: Prolific ... is the word I meant to use. Haha. Max: He put out that Younger Governor, the same day that our 7’’ came out, the Young Governor 10’’ came out. It’s the dude from Fucked Up, and that’s really good. Jeremy: Some bullshit band ... The Golden Boys … I think he’s doing. Max: Yeah. The Golden Boys and James Arthur’s Man .... Something. Jeremy: Those are also going to wind up as ashtrays. Best case scenario. Louis: (Laughing) Okay, so what are you guys listening to right now. Jeremy: Um ... Fresh Air with Terry Gross. (Laughs) Max: He’s not joking. Jeremy: I’m, not joking. (Laughing) Um ... I don’t really like music ... psych! What are you listening to Max? Max: Right now ... I am listening to a lot of Blue Oyster Cult as of a few days ago, I just got into them. I feel like I’m just finding out about bands that I should have known about for a long time ago, like Nirvana and Blue Oyster Cult and also a lot of new records. I’ve been listening to that new OBN III’s record a lot, and revisiting Bad Lady Goes To Jail, Wes’ record. As for new music, it’s pretty much all Austin music ... Jeremy:  Yeah.

Mid-destruction at Beerland on December 18th Max: I think Austin is coming out with the best music right now, like A Giant Dog and OBN III’s. Jeremy: Yeah, I’m really looking forward to the new A Giant Dog record, which should be out soon. I went and saw Blood Royale last night and they ruled. Louis: Let’s see, what would you say are some of your influences? Jeremy: Influences ... hmm. That’s a weird question, well it’s not a weird question. It’s a tough question. I feel like … most everybody has a lot of the same, you know we all come from the same place. Growing up listening to punk rock and then you use that as a jumping point, and you learn about what those bands were influenced by. So then you seek stuff out based on that, and then I don’t know ... you can take anything as an influence I guess. Max: I think there are two or three bands that we all bond over. We definitely bond over The Dictators as a band, we’re like yeah that’s it. Jeremy: … and The Ramones ... Max: ... or The Zero Boys, like if we’re in the van on tour and we throw on The Dictators or The Zero Boys, then it’s just like, fuck yeah that’s it. Jeremy: Then when I met Max and Elissa, they were listening to a lot of The Helicopters and Turbo Negro. A lot of bands I had heard, but had never gotten into. I feel like there’s a place for that in what we do. Max: Yeah. I think definitely The Helicopters, I think a lot of people bash on The Helicopters, cause they’re just doing straight up seventies rock. But, if you can open your mind enough to listen to stuff, that’s not just on In The Red or Goner Records, then you can see how a band like The Helicopters are really awesome. Jeremy: It’s not just that, but I feel like a lot of people write them off because the production too. Max: Yeah, ‘cause it’s so good. Jeremy: I mean it’s clean … but that’s something that people shy away from, and the Austin scene is trying to make their records sound good. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying peoples’ records sound bad. We even got that when Muscle Pop came out, and people were like well this sounds produced. I was like “well we worked on it, really hard.” Louis: Well I feel like that’s a problem with music right now in general, they want to call a record over produced because it sounds clean, but then a lo-fi/garage probably spends as much time on production. Max: Lo-fi isn’t cool if you HAVE the utilities to make, a great sounding record.

RobERts

Jeremy: We even got shit when we first started for practicing too much. (Laughs) Max: An unnamed person ... (Laughing) Jeremy: (Laughing) Yeah, an unnamed human being told us we sounded too tight. I was like, I’ll take that criticism. I think I can live with that. Louis: I guess my final question is, what do you guys have going on next? Jeremy: Elissa’s going to be hanging out with her cat U-Haul and then after that ... We have hopefully around three or four 7’’s coming out in the first half of next year. We don’t have anything solid for out of town shows, but we’re always working on it. Max: I think we’ll probably … the goal is to go on tour at least twice in the next year span. Then we got the four 7”s, that will come out. As for a new record, I don’t think we’re even going to rush that. We throw around different ideas, like at some point maybe trying to write a record or maybe waiting till we have some more songs. We’re just not really going to think about that right now. Jeremy: Yeah just keep working. I think the next goal, like the next big goal, is going to be: finish the singles, then get to the west coast and then to Europe. We haven’t been to either of those places yet. Louis: You guys should go to Japan. They would love you there. Jeremy: Do you have some money? Louis: No, but I’ll work on that for you. Get them to pay for it, just send them a bunch of records they’ll go crazy. Max: We got some offers to get to Europe now, so that’s just a matter of money, and then we’ve got some lingering west coast offers. Jeremy: West coast is feasible, Europe a little more difficult. OBN III’s are going there next year though, which is awesome. Wes Coleman will be over there. Max: Not awesome. (Laughs) Louis: So do you guys have anything else you wanna say or leave your fans with? Max: I really appreciate how you’ve conducted this interview. (We all laugh) Louis: Yeah, I’m in way better shape. I’m drinking hot tea. Jeremy: Next time no more whiskey laced with cocaine ... or heroin … Louis: Or GHB ... Jeremy: Yeah, next time don’t roofie yourself before the interview.

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, January 2012

11 3

BUYING AND SELLING USED AND RARE BOOKS

1608 SOUTH CONGRESS AVE

512.916.8882

S O U T H CO N G R E S S B O O K S . CO M

charles J. shields’ and so iT goes: kurT vonneguT: a life delivers a load of mundane deTails abouT an inTeresTing auThor
by Wint Huskey
When I was 17 or 18 I got a tattoo of Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. on my right pectoral. I found the picture I wanted and spent about a month furtively fashioning the ideal image of my icon using MS Paint to make tattoo-gun-friendly alterations to the photo. Eventually satisfied, I printed the thing out and spent another two weeks just looking at it daily and holding it over various areas of my body. When I walked into the tattoo parlor and showed the artist what I wanted done and where I wanted it, I expected a lecture about the heavy weight of having someone else’s face permanently doodled on your person—an “are you sure about this?” moment. Hell, I figured I’d at least get a “how old are you?” But that sort of attitude would probably be terrible for business in any selfrespecting tattoo parlor. So all I got in response was: “That’ll run you 80 bucks.” I’m happy to report that Kurt and I are doing well. There’s no coffee can full of change labeled “laser-removal procedure” on my desk and I have yet to start telling inquiring people at the pool/beach that it’s a tattoo of my grandpa. (Unless I don’t want to explain who Kurt Vonnegut is to a stranger at the public pool, in which case, “yup, that’s my grandpa.”) But that doesn’t mean that I don’t worry, on occasion, about the decision I made those many years ago. For instance: based on my predilections back then, I could have just as easily wound up with a flying Victrola tattoo a la Neutral Milk Hotel. And, boy, would my face be red! Because today, with Jeff Mangum’s smattering of concerts being talked and typed about like they’re Christ and Muhammad’s Best of Both Worlds Tour or something, all I can do is wistfully shake my head and sigh in response to each hyperbolic report. It’s not that I concluded In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is an awful album or that Jeff Mangum coming out of reclusion was a horrible idea; it’s just that that music transports me right back to high school—which is like, a real bad trip, man. To immortalize what you hold dearest in high school is almost certainly a preface to personal embarrassment immemorial. And that would have been the case had I chosen any number of people or things that I was myopically focused on during that period of my life. But Vonnegut stuck and (pardon the delicious pun) made an indelible mark upon me. Of course, my opinion of the man has come back down to reality a bit. Of course! What else is there to teach English majors besides how to search for shortcomings, faults, and generally be a prick when it comes to talking about someone else’s life’s work? So I wasn’t too surprised this fall when I began hearing noise about the forthcoming release of “the definitive biography” which turned out to be Charles J. Shields’ And So It Goes: Kurt Vonnegut: A Life. Nor was I surprised when I found myself forking over $32 so I could evaluate and, most likely, offer snarky and dismissive comments about the book. The previous quasi-paragraph nicely demonstrates why And So It Goes was published and released this past November, right before what would’ve been Vonnegut’s 89th birthday. need to turn the pages to finish it. Since his death (spoiler alert!) in 2007, collecProbably the most notable and immeditions of Vonnegut’s unreleased short stories ately apparent aspect of And So It Goes is Mr. and other sundry literary resin hits have been Shields’ fastidious research, which at once doled out to (and purchased by) a devoted abets and constrains the entire story. While readership. And no offense to Vonnegut, but it does not take a very discerning look-through to Vonnegut dies near page 400, the book doesn’t end until somewhere in the mid-500s due to understand why these previously unpublished stories remained unpublished for so long. Like, all the endnotes and biographical detritus included. Which nobody’s gonna read, anyuntil after he died. But when books that were how. But it illustrates a larger point: readers written before the moon landing manage to might occasionally come across a nice pick like sell 30,000-40,000 new copies yearly (those are an early book review or a quote from an old some Dark Side of the Moon-sorta numbers!)... classmate, but you’re far more likely to get a lot well, publishers are probably going to start anthologizing whatever receipts, candy wrappers, of trivial facts that don’t add much to the book. Believe me when I say that little (and I mean and junk mail that happened to be left on his little) details like the addresses to practically evdesk when he finally keeled over. And myself erybody’s house, office, or school at every point and others will probably buy that, too.  in the book do not go unnoticed. But the true need for an all-out, full-blown And So It Goes ends up doing just that: it Kurt Vonnegut biography is dubious at best goes. In many different directions. Mr. Shields’ and one has to question whether this is something fans of his will even desire. After all, work is quite ambitious in its scope and determination to capture the whole picture. Some one of Vonnegut’s signature moves is putting might argue, though, that some parts of the himself right in the book. I mean, he pretty picture could be cropped out while other areas much invented that! It’s. His. Thing. So, nearly deserve a little more all of his books contain explicitly autobiographi“By The Time The Book focus. Even I am not a big enough fan of Kurt cal information, usually climaxes midway Vonnegut to want to go preceded by an author’s Through (which, psssT: on the pilgrimage tour introduction which explains what compelled ThaT isn’T really when to see exactly where his defunct Saab dealership him to write such a story you wanT a sTory To hiT was in West Barnstable, in the first place. He MA. So why include that even wrote an “autoiTs peak, By The way), kind of information? biographical collage,” Palm Sunday, which was vonneguT is approaching And I understand that publishers and literary successful enough to 50 years-old.” agents are important to warrant a sequel—Fates an author and play a big Worse Than Death. So role in their life—but are they of much interest barring his being a complete pathological liar, to a reader? These sorts of maddeningly minor it would seem as if the book is already out on details only serve to punctuate what is a fairly Kurt Vonnegut. mundane compilation of stories and anecWell, nobody told Charles J. Shields that! dotes that Vonnegut himself told and re-told The introduction to And So It Goes makes it in an inimitably entertaining style throughout sound like it was absolutely imperative that a his entire career. And So It Goes even comes professional writer get Vonnegut’s story writup short in “the stuff he didn’t tell us about” ten down ASAP, lest his reputation and legacy department. The book does have a gossipy be forever tarnished by future hacks. After a feel to it at times, but for all the wrong reasons. few eye-roll-inducing humble brags and some Several important family members and more compliments paid, Shields eventually personal relations declined to be interviewed. convinces the octogenarian author to jump As mentioned earlier, Vonnegut himself died on board. We are then summarily told that shortly after meeting Shields and the letters after only two interviews, Kurt Vonnegut died and “bombshell” materiel that he left behind and that, despite access to heretofore unseen turned out to be more like a decades-old M-80 correspondence, Mark Vonnegut (his son) had that goes off with predictable results. Clearly, denied Shields the privilege to actually quote we’re just not getting 100% of the story here, the letters. If the whole thing weren’t expendwhich might, perhaps, be why one would able to begin with, these two incidents might willingly pay $32 for a biography. Lacking the make for some good reasons not to endeavor sense of newness readers might hope for in its on with this project. pages, And So It Goes drifts. And we all know If you’re an optimist like me, you will apwhat kind of company drifters can make for. preciate that the introduction is probably the Somewhere in there (between all the worst part of the book. Usually the words of apartment numbers and family pets) is the praise for one’s work go on the dust jacket. Ahem. In all sincerity, though, And So It Goes is story about that guy whose face happens to an able, if often uneventful, chronicle of an im- be on the cover. I can surmise for you all that Kurt Vonnegut’s life appeared to have three portant and misunderstood literary figure. Mr. basic, distinct stages: (1) His growing up and Shields’ prose is lucid, he expresses complex thoughts and ideas effectively, and he then de- deciding to be a writer; (2) working very hard towards writing Slaughterhouse-Five, which, velops those ideas and maintains focus within you know, was his “big, important book;” and paragraphs. His spelling and grammar are (3) the whole dénouement of successfully writerror-free and he appears to have used proper MLA format. But the only thing that makes this ing said “big, important book.” Parts one and two are held together by biography a “page-turner” is the fact that you

Don’t Worry, I Saved the Receipt: A Review of the New Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Biography

the usual writer-biography mortar: a shaky relationship with family growing up, some highly-influential military experience, a youthful marriage that slowly goes sour, diligent typing, the odd flings/professorships, plenty of “Daddy could never be bothered when he was writing,” and more than enough booze to keep things volatile/interesting. Although such a synopsis might appear to be a flippant accusation of lazy copycat-ism, the truth just seems to be that most writers lived the same life from 1850-1980 or so. There’s a reason why numerous writers’ biographies tend to center around little else besides where they were born, who they married (and later treated like shit), and what variety of booze kept ‘em going until they died in what is usually a very depressing manner. Mr. Shields offers readers more than such a cursory outline of Vonnegut’s life (things like brief, pedantic synopses of each novel Vonnegut wrote), but that very same structure is undeniably the skeleton of the work. And at its core, this is a book about an old man. One that’s usually a bit cranky or mean or depressed. Sometimes all three at the same time. So by the time the book climaxes midway through (which, pssst: that isn’t really when you want a story to hit its peak, by the way), Vonnegut is approaching 50 years-old. This elongated ending might be the most informative section of And So It Goes since it covers a period of life where Vonnegut began slowing down and doing more reminiscing than explaining. Still, it’s hard to describe the “elderly man thinks things used to be better/ finds something bad to say about everything” storyline as revelatory. It’s a theme that was probably best hashed out by the two old Muppets in the balcony some time ago. And, boy, this section is not exactly what I’d call “light” or “fun” reading. The book closes with a flourish of pitiable incidents involving a hellish second marriage, an ill-advised semester teaching at Smith College, and a variety of other “really old people make us sad” stories. The last chapter is called “Waiting to Die,” which mirrored my own feeling by the time I finished. Like any number of the characters that populate the Kurt Vonnegut universe, And So It Goes is neither wholly good nor bad. There probably is some truth to the idea that Mr. Shields was the man for this job. Somebody out there was going to write something about this man, eventually. And had this project been taken on by someone with less acumen and more devotion for the subject, the outcome probably would have been sickeningly hagiographic. The result of Mr. Shields’ work, then, is a little less sexy than what one might wish for. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I personally find a great deal of solace in knowing that one of my heroes could err and fuck up with the best of them. Not all of our heroes belong in Plutarch’s pages, after all. But the best thing about that new Kurt Vonnegut biography? It made me want to sit down and read Kurt Vonnegut. If anybody out there has money burning a hole in their debit card and the desire to get to know one of the 20th century’s finest, most distinctive voices, might I recommend the Library of America’s Kurt Vonnegut: Novels & Stories, 1963-1973?

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, January 2012

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show list January 1 - 4
Church of the Friendly Ghost presents Mani Neumaier (Guru Guru) w/ st 37
Rock star Mani Neumeier of the famed Krautrock band Guru Guru and Japanese band Acid Mothers Temple will be gracing the Salvage Vanguard Theatre and delivering a pretentious blitz of jazz prog rock. If Thurston Moore had complete creative control over production of a way early Beastie Boys bside comp, ST 37 at their best would sound like the comp; but most of the time ST 37 sounds like crackly noise and recycled Butthole Surfer jams. Salvage Vanguard Theater 8:00pm

Jan 1

Indie band My Golden Calf (Austin) has the vocals of a 30s pop star (minus the tonal dexterity) and a heavy staple of keyboard melodies. Danny Malone (Austin) shamelessly pours his heart and soul into sentimental acoustic pop ballads. FREE SHOW Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

two piece band that could easily be lost in a police line up of Melvins or Fu Manchu side projects. Beerland 9:00pm

bike Problems W/ The Gary, The Midgetmen, The blistering speeds, Killdeer
Austin’s Bike Problems will be headlining this Free Week show with their energetic pop punk. If Austin’s done anything with music, it’s shown us all that girl drummers can totally fucking rule. Bike Problems are no exception here. The Gary (also from Austin) play pretty much straightforward guitar driven rock, but it’s the vocals that carry the songs. FREE SHOW Red 7 9:00pm

JD Clark w/ Hello Caller, The Awkward Robot, Loblolly boy
Get your nard off to some succulent indie folk pop from Austin bands Hello Caller, The Awkward Robot, and Loblolly Boy. Also playing is singer songwriter JD Clark (Chico, Texas) with his acoustic radio friendly pop. He has lyrics about breaking up with women that can easily be translated to “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe there’s a one in a million chance you’ll find another guy as great as me.” FREE SHOW Beauty Bar 10:00pm

(Austin) have many post punk riffs with poppy leads. A lot of Boyfrndz footage shows audience members with folded arms little more than nodding their heads; feel free to be one of the first people to go wild in the audience and maybe you’ll be able to take credit for turning them into a high energy band. Shynx (Austin) is one of the better dance rock groups you’ll come across. Although they take a lot of influence from the 80s, they’re not completely lifting riffs like most nostalgia inspired or homage groups. FREE SHOW Beauty Bar 10:00pm

Major Major Major, Gud Head (tribute to turbonegro), plus comedy by Jake Flores, Cameron buchholtz, John tole, Randa briggs, Mike Wiebe, Chris Cubas, Mack Lindsay
Rock music and a bunch of comedians; it’s going to be an all out variety show other than the bands, which will be playing slight variations of alt pop rock. Chris Cubas is the sexiest out off all the comedians. Charisma only goes so far. Cubas is hands down the hottest. FREE SHOW Red 7 8:00pm

Crooks w/ Guns of Navarone, Whiskey shivers
If you’re down with country rock then this is a show for you. Crooks (Austin) have a lot of country melodies filled with dreamy slide guitars. Guns of Navarone (Austin) are like a testosterone revamped Fleetwood Mac. Whiskey Shivers (Austin) use a lot of comedy and poppy riffs. FREE SHOWS Mohawk Outside 6:30pm

Jan 3

Folk Night hosted by Laurie Gallardo w/ MaryAnn & The Revival band, shakey Graves, Wild Child, Chase Weinacht, Lonesome Heroes, Amy Annelle & the true Vine, The Duqaines
MaryAnn & The Revival Band (Austin) have a lot of up beat songs that could be put into the folk and country genre, but you can also hear plenty of other genres in their songwriting as well. Their rhythms aren’t very country or folk either. Ghostly folk group Shakey Graves (Austin) would be something you would want to catch if you were into lo-fi blues folk or 60s era folk pop. Wild Child (Austin) will supply the catchy indie folk pop hooks you could have sworn you heard from a commercial months earlier. FREE SHOW ND at 501 Studios 9:00pm

sober Daze w/ The sweethearts, Pinata Protest, Heather Go Crazy, Mariachis Del Infierno
It’s a total pop punk fest so be sure to a add to the mood by showing up as a drunk belligerent ass hole with frosted tips and a volleyball and really get the party started. Sober Daze (Austin) crank out poppy youth crew and melodic pop punk jams. The Sweethearts (Austin) have very distinct almost chipmunk vocals. Calling them chipmunk vocals is a cop out, it’s realistically more like a nasally girl yelling through a kazoo. Pinata Protest (San Antonio) are like a pop punk version of the Plugz. FREE SHOW Red 7 8:00pm

Jan 4

Expensive shit w/ Whiskey shivers, Contact High Five
None of these bands have anything in common, really. Expensive Shit (Austin) lay down aggressive static and noise with punk attitude, but mostly static and noise. Shock rock Contact High Five (Austin) seem to be centered around their caustic lyrics about prolapsed anuses and spreading AIDS. So I guess Whiskey Shivers (Austin) is supposed to tie it all together and be some sort of happy ending with their poppy blue grass melodies and bubble gum lyrics, unless you hate blue grass. FREE SHOW Red 7 8:00pm

Quin Galavis w/ Zoltars, David Israel
Quin Galvis (Austin) are an acoustic indie rock band that have noticeable 60s influences similar to The Electric Prunes or Simon and Garfunkel, but still a unique sound of their own. The Zoltars (Austin) are a strange three piece minimalistic garage punkish band that has been getting better and better and increasingly more original. David Israel (Austin) is a somewhat druggy band with down tempo twangy guitar riffs and deep gruff vocals meant more to sooth than invigorate. Beerland 9:00pm

Leatherbag w/ Mayeux and broussard, The bye and bye, tarred and Feathered, bob Hoffnar
Leatherbag (Austin) for some can be very reminiscent of the Wallflowers, with their alternative pop rock riffs and country twang, but especially their vocals. I think it’s also safe to say that Leatherbag is a little more creative. Mayeux and Broussard (Austin) aren’t exactly a full blown country band. At times they can sound a little like Stealers Wheel and other times almost like Blind Melon. For playing a century’s old genre, The Bye and Bye (Austin) have for sure found a way to make it more interesting and original. If Pink Floyd would have written songs like this back in the 70s they would be considered staples in their discography. FREE SHOW Skinny’s Ballroom 6:30pm

Downfall of Gaia (Germany), w/ Vestiges (DC), Dead to A Dying World, boars
All the headlining bands on this bill will be playing a similar style of melodic death metal with death growls, heavy melodic resonance, down tempo post rock riffs, and occasional punk drum beats. FREE SHOW Scoot Inn 9:00pm

Ancient VVisdom w/ Venomous Maximous, skycrawler, Void strider, trip Crystals, Curse The Heavens
The majority of the bands playing this show are into the cryptic mysteries of yore. Acoustic rock band Ancient VVisdom (Austin) are probably the evilest of all the bands playing tonight. They lyrics are filled with stereo typical imagery of the occult. Heavy metal rock n’ rollers Venemous Maximous (Houston) muscle through 70s style riffs with tongue and cheek lyrics about how demons can be cool. Skycrawler (Austin) represent probably one of the more cryptic mysteries bands since their metal is a little of both psychedelic and mathy.  Beauty Bar 10:00pm

Austin Vida presents: Maneja beto w/ Este Vato, Manzana Malas, son De Rey
This is probably going to be one of the more original shows this whole month. If you’re into powerpop, dance rock, or Latin music you should make a deal to check out Maneja Beto and Este Vato. Maneja Beto (Austin) have a lot of spacey Dexter Wansel sounding riffs going on and almost sound like they’re some secret Latin recording project Pharrell Williams produced on the side. Este Vato (Austin) have a stong Latin pop rock influence on some of their songs. Some parts sound almost like the singer is toasting over riffs. They bring a lot more creativity to a genre that’s been done by a lot of people. Manzana Malas (Austin) is a straight up Latin pop group with the occasional rap and English lyric about shaking your ass. Son De Rey (Austin) are like a Latin pop group with a variety of the Spanish music staples. FREE SHOW The Swan Dive 9:00pm

The Rocketboys w/ shivery shakes
The Rocketboys (Austin) have a consistent set of tranquil and ambient indie pop ballads. Shivery Shakes (Austin) is noisy wild poppy post punk band that list a lot of 50s pop groups as their idols, but with all the 50s influences, Shivery Shakes sound more like African highlife after smoking a bag of dirty meth than any doo-wop band. FREE SHOW ND at 501 Studios 9:00pm

Floating Holidays w/ Rings band, Necklace of Heads, scorpion Child, Hour band
Well, we’re only human. We couldn’t find much on the bands playing this except for Rings Band who play grooved out psychedelic long ass jams. They’re cool as hell. FREE SHOW Red 7 8:00pm

Cool In Austin presents Yer Heart! w/ Madeline Ava, Mitch The Champ
Yer Heart! (Portland) can get pretty over the top and hectic at times, but I guess that could be why they classify themselves as slightly punk. They’re more of a really wild electro group with the occasional uptempo punk beat on a drum machine. Madeline Ava is a singer songwriter from Bloomington, Indiana with a kind of CocoRosie style vocals (not the opera parts) and a litany of ukulele ballads in the bubble gum indie pop vein. Mitch The Champ has his own special niche of acoustic bar punk. FREE SHOW Scoot Inn 9:00pm

Mr. Lewis and the Funeral 5 w/ Automusik, starlings tN, Moonlight towers
Mr. Lewis and the Funeral 5 (Austin) fuses theatrical cabaret rock with tongue and cheek lyrics about being attracted to the suicidal girl next door. Whereas Austomusik (Austin) is the SNL sketch of Sprockets turned into a band. Starlings TN (Mississippi) a laid back blue grass country band and Moonlight Towers (Austin) an alternative power pop band don’t really have a gimmick other than the fact that the drummer and guitar player from Moonlight Towers are perfect clones of Sarah Silverman’s gay T.V. neighbors Steve Agee and Brian Poshen. FREE SHOW Red 7 8:00pm

Jan 2

Mike & the Moonpies w/ Frank smith, Franny & Zooey, The blind Pets, Mockingbird Loyals
Country! Country! Country! Hee-fuckin-haw! It’s an all out country bonanza with Austin country music groups Mike & the Moonpies, Frank Smith, and Franny & Zooey. Plus alt-rock band The Blind Pets (Austin) thrown in the mix. FREE SHOW Mohawk Inside 8:00pm

From Guts to Glory w/ Pernicious Phenom
This is kind of a hilarious show line up, because From Guts To Glory (Houston) sounds like My Chemical Romance, and Pernicious Phenom (Taylor) is a gnarly ass death metal band. It’s hard to say how stable a mixture the audience will be. Someone might get murdered. Red Eyed Fly Outside 9:00pm

sabbath Crow w/ old & Ill, The Ghosts of texas, Garrett t. Capps
Sabbath Crow (Austin) sounds pretty demented. They’re kind of like punk and metal with a bunch of manic and chaotic riffs. They’re pretty wicked. You should see them if you’re into original sounding bands. Old & Ill (New Mexico) are a doomish stoner metal band with black metal style vocals. In traditional black metal style, they’re insanely noisy.

Coma in Algiers w/ st 37, Air traffic Controllers, Rhett & Deane
Prepare for lots of feedback and a shit ton of white noise. Heavy post punk from Coma in Algiers (Austin), noise punk from ST 37 (Austin) and Air Traffic Controllers (Austin), and Rhett & Deane the heavy

My Golden Calf w/ Danny Malone, The Eastern sea, Federal state Local 14 4

Vagabond Collective Presents: Zlam Dunk w/ boyfrndz, sphynx, Click Clack, Major Major Major
Zlam Dunk (San Marcos) rides again with their epic post punk and first wave emo opuses. Boyfrndz

The Austin Cut, January 2012 | austincut.com

show list January 4 - 6
FREE SHOW Hole in the Wall 9:00pm

Manateam Group And Giant steps present Look Mexico w/ Little Lo, buxton, tactics, slash Future
Look Mexico (Austin) pour out the desperate and heartfelt indie rock with Keane like sincerity in their vocals. Little Lo (Austin) have a lot of thoughtout songs with buildups, dance grooves, and crescendo’s. It wouldn’t be controversial to say they have a sound similar to millennial era Belle and Sebastian. Buxton (Houston) are an indie rock band that hail from its Americana roots, but their sound really goes beyond the indie rock pigeon hole and has qualities you could hear in a live performance from Midnight Special. FREE SHOW Beauty Bar 10:00pm

getting fucked up instead of on a cover charge. The Energy (Houston) plow through heavy old school punk jams with a modern reduxed vibe, catchy riffs, and fast paced drums. The Gospel Truth (Austin) is a pretty vicious punk band. They have some crushing breaks and weird game show host vocals. Obnoxious punk band Cruddy (Austin) push out an accessible mess of songs with hacked up dissonant punk riffs and ornery beats. The Best is an emerging super group comprised from elite members of Austin’s punk rock Illuminati. FREE SHOW The 29th St. Ballroom 9:00pm

But you shouldn’t just assume they really are what they advertise. Prevent an unnecessary incident and keep them away from your damn kids. Also, why not experience the alternative nature of Austin sensation Megafauna?  FREE SHOW The Swan Dive 9:00pm

an alternative psychedelic rock sound that transcends the lie of everyday life and sets you off on a peace quest. Antone’s 8:00pm

obN III’s w/ Golden boys, Pharoahs, Church shoes
OBN III’s (Austin) amalgamate the assholish androgenic deficiencies of hardcore punk with the authoritative tones of classic rock. They can recently be seen sleazing it up on the cover of Maximum Rock n’ Roll. Try showing up front row and standing still like a dumb fuck. Don’t let anyone budge you even an inch without making them pay for it. The Golden Boys (Austin) shower on the great jams of country garage rock with the elegance only strict dedication and discipline can bring. Beerland 9:00pm

EIts Presents The Couch w/ The baker Family, The Nouns, The NYC Queens
The Couch (Austin) could be some really perverted guys. It’s hard to tell. From the audience perspective they’re up and coming indie rock sensations, from the perspective of a bound and gagged muse barely surviving in their U-Haul practice space it’s a completely different story. Are you ready for The Baker Family (Austin)? Are you ready for electro garage pop accompanied by Karen O vox (not from the real Karen O)? The Nouns (Austin) radiate garage punk with snarled vocals and super angsty blues riffs. The NYC Queens (Houston) have no reason not to love you. They want to share their indie pop with you. Beauty Bar 10:00pm

Dikes of Holland w/ Creationists, Crooked bangs, black Gum
A punk rock fairy tale in the making. The magical riffs and vocals from Dikes of Holland (Austin) sound like shit-spattered jukebox rock with an allout disdain for human life, which is fucking cool for a punk band. Creationists (Austin) are like putrefied Dead Boys after-birth. Crooked Bangs (Austin) have an old school sound with lyrics about werewolves and dating. Beerland 9:00pm

Jokes on You
From Corpus Christi, Jokes on You blends pop punk, thrash metal, d-beat, and metalcore back up vocals. It’s a long ass drive from Corpus, so if you end up going to this show you might as well go balls out and make it worth their time. Even if you think the music sucks you can still fuck shit up and it’ll be a win-win situation for everyone. Red Eyed Fly Outside 10:00pm

tia Carrera w/ Wo Fat, Dixie Witch, skycrawler, Mindless, The boiling sea
Tia Carrera (Austin) improvise metal to bring you the no holds bared contents of the artistic present. Wo Fat (Dallas) buoy the low and heavy THC infused autistic psychedelic alt metal of the 80s like a pulsating beacon bobbing through the eons of history. Dixie Witch (Austin) are a metal band with metal demands. They keep it Danzig with a slight glistening of ass rock to smooth out the edges.  FREE SHOW Red 7 9:00pm

steady Legend w/ Cadillac Muzik, The LaRaue
Steady Legend (Austin) have a masterful sense of island music touching on ska, reggae, and dub. Also, Steady Legend’s token woman was a wise addition on vocal harmonies. Cadillac Muzik (San Antonio) are rappers Caddymack Moses and Lil’ Scott. Two musical beasts in heat. They have lyrics about getting with women, floating around, and having a good time. Bring the rubbers if you know what’s good for ya. FREE SHOW Flamingo Cantina 9:00pm

Calm blue sea w/ Missions, Clouds Are Ghosts, octopus Project DJs
Let the Calm Blue Sea (Austin) take you away. Let them sweep you into a beautiful world of tiding indie rock melodies and crashing rhythms. Missions (Austin) are an electronic collective of artists dabbling in the tempestuous depths of industrial and new wave. Mohawk Outside 8:00pm

Jan 6

101X Homegrown Live with Maneja beto w/ Lemurs, My Education
Maneja Beto (Austin) played on the 3rd too at the Swan Dive with Esto Vato. If you want to read what this band sounds like there are a couple of enlightening sentences jotted down describing what to expect from them. With a tightened alternative indie sound, Lemurs (Austin) exemplify the sort of music writing that was played by bands from the likes of Tapes n’ Tapes and manifested into a white knuckle thrill ride. My Education (Austin) are an fairly ambient indie rock band that incorporates flutes and stringed violin-type instruments into their repertoire. FREE SHOW Mohawk Outside 7:00pm

Jan 5

total Unicorn w/ How I Quit Crack, technicolor Hearts, silent Diane
This show is going to revolve around non-conformist electronic music. Total Unicorn (Austin) champion the beating heart of hip hop and garnish it with bizarre synth melodies and abstract goofy sounds. How I Quit Crack (Austin) are a jarring tour de force of electronic rock. Technicolor Hearts (Austin) mellow the mood and shimmer in a relaxed and indie pop whirlwind. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

Eagle Claw w/ Fleshlights, Woodgrain, Not In The Face, Dikes of Holland, Este Vato
Prog metal wizards Eagle Claw (Austin) will captivate. Flesh Lights (Austin) break the mold channeling the comburent spirits of fallen party martyrs and wrangle up a full blown punk rock weenie roast. Woodgrain (Austin) coalesce the psychedelic sounds of bands like Iron Butterfly and Sugarloaf with a can do rock n’ roll attitude. FREE SHOW Red 7 8:00pm

The White White Lights w/ black books, Les Rav, The Clouds are Ghosts
The White White Lights (Austin) really know how to put out. One of their MySpace photos even show their guitar player plucking with his teeth. If the audience play it cool and vibe out to TWWL’s genre crossing, slightly experimental pop rock you all could get real lucky. Black Books (Austin) are titillating. They make use of plenty of effects to quaff out the ambiance of their indie rock songs. Les Rav (Austin) keeps it creepy with dreamy simply melodies and old timey alien vocals. The Clouds are Ghosts (Austin) could have some of their songs in the opening credits of a Pierce Brosnan James Bond film. Don’t let them brainwash you with their silly divergent beliefs. Stubb’s Inside 9:00pm

Cronis, side Effects, Dcoi, Night siege
Hardcore punk entertainment with California touring bands Side Effects, Dcoi, and spicing up the stage with their unrivaled sex appeal will be Cronis (Austin). Night Siege (Austin), the top gun rock machines, never upset. FREE SHOW Legendary White Swan 9:00pm

101X Homegrown Live with boY w/ Daniel Francis Doyle, The sour Notes, one Hundred Flowers, burgess Meredith
It’s a total indie-rock bash. BOY (Austin) come across as really classy guys. Their music sounds like it was comprised from a lot of early 2000 indie chart hits with lo-fi production ideals. Daniel Francis Doyle (Austin) attempt to architect teeth grittingly horrid melodies into tip-top pop jams. Do they succeed? Full throttle pop enthusiasts The Sour Notes (Austin) swoonfully execute heartwarming indie ballads vital for a calm night of lovemaking. FREE SHOW Mohawk Inside 7:30pm

Covers Night with Church of the Divine spirits, The smites (smiths), Yuppie Pricks (sex Pistols), Germ Free Adolescents (X Ray spex), Jesus Christ superfly (American Hardcore), scary Mondelos (social Distortion)
Punk rock coverband fest. Let the good times roll in this maelstrom night of glitter, hard drugs, and punk rock anal comradery. Don’t be an asshole, don’t show up sober. FREE SHOW Red 7 8:00pm

Quiet Company w/ My Education, speak, oh-Look-out
Indie hunks Quiet Company (Austin) are no strangers to a good blowout. Give them one stage, one mic, and they’ll take you to places where you never imagined you would go. My Education (Austin) are almost godlike with their ambient indie rock that resonates in the soul. Speak (Austin) funk up the dance floor with poppy electronic spattle that invigorates like a pro. Catchy hooks and indie rock are only a couple aces Oh-Look-Out (Austin) operate with. Emo’s East 9:00pm

oh No oh My, Leslie sisson, The Frank Mustard Project
Oh No Oh My (Austin) carry a lot of indie pop rock tunes. They consider themselves psychedelic and I think it’s because they sound a little like the late 60s Beatles. Leslie Sisson (Austin) rip roars as a singer songwriter in her own right making use of the occasional country twang and indie pop sensibilities. The Frank Mustard Project (Austin) are like a nonsense pop rock group tug’o’wared between Devo and Beck. FREE SHOW Antone’s 9:00pm

Zlam Dunk w/ bassline bums, blurry Vision, DsGNs, Headache at The Annex
Zlam Dunk (San Marcos) have a beautiful gift. As true rock n’ roll alchemists they wield the properties of emo, hardcore, and garage pop for the benefit of humanity as a whole. Party pop punkers the Bassline Bums (Austin) indoctrinate all into the discipleship of debauchery. The Annex at 1808 8:00pm

Grand Champeen w/ A Giant Dog, Elvis, Wes Coleman, Grape st.
Grand Champeen (Austin) rock it alternative style with some poppy flair to spark things up and keep it interesting. Austin garage pop band, A Giant Dog (Austin), are a rowdy finagled crew of dishonest and shameful people, but they make up for it with catchy riffs and a winning stage presence. FREE SHOW Red 7 8:00pm

The boxing Lesson w/ Politics, boy + Kite, Flemish Giant
The Boxing Lesson (Austin) bridge the worlds of electronic music and rock n’ roll you would hear in a John Hughes movie. Politics (Austin) ham it up with a charming presence and a profound garage rock set list. As Austin’s new darlings of the profane, indie rockers Boy + Kite sizzle on stage with a steamy attitude that donkey faced asshole Ricky Martin would kill anything for. ND at 501 Studios 9:00pm

The boxing Lesson w/ New Roman times, Megafauna, The Couch
The Boxing Lesson (Austin) has the constituents of real bona fide givers. The best way to honor their effort is soak in their melancholy alt riffs. New Roman Times (Austin) sound happy and joyous, strumming away catchy indie pop riffs with an upbeat drive.

Kris K presents Phranchyze w/ Zapata!, The Hour band
Long time rap musician Phranchyze (Austin) likes the finer things in life, but isn’t afraid to get a little down and dirty. Zapata! (Austin) annihilate with balls out nu-metal blues that would scare the shit out of your poor old blues lovin’ grand pappy. The Hour Band (Austin) gush their heart and soul into

The Energy w/ The Gospel truth, Cruddy, The best, Nazi Gold, Naw Dude
This show is going to be a Texas punk blow hole. It’s a free show too so you can spend your cash on

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, January 2012

15 3

brownout, Roxy Roca, bangaar, Gobi, bulletproof tiger

show list January 6 - 16
Quiet Company (Austin) has been known to leave people with a light tune in their heart and tremble in their prostate. Give them the reigns to your ears and they’ll powerpop you with the glittery ecstasy you get after a hardcore Kegel workout. The Pons (Austin) gave a piece of their heart to insure a place in the future for soft rock. Lend a little of your time and contribute to a habitat for this majestic and endangered genre. Like flowers in the wind, Stereo is a Lie (Austin) soars in color and light. With a little faith their alternative indie rock anthems can crosspollinate the masses into the peace and tranquility of unified enlightenment. FREE SHOW The Swan Dive 9:00pm like a night of lasting life choices and risky lifestyles. FREE SHOW Mohawk Inside 9:00pm Emo’s East 8:00pm

Brownout (Austin) are a pretty legit Latin funk crew and know what it takes to take a dance floor and turn into a hella nasty fanny fiesta. You gotta give it to Roxy Roca (Austin) for carrying country funk to new heights of awareness in the live music community. Beauty Bar 10:00pm

shrapnel w/ Headcrusher, Course of Ruin
This show is all about hardcore metal grab-assery. Shrapnel (Austin) build it up only to tear it down with the monstrous tenacity of a starving shark. Headcrusher (Austin) beat off a hardcore sound of hatred and violence. Hardcore metal rockers Course of Ruin (Austin) have been rumored to torment their bastard audience leaving them lifeless and fucked. Red 7 8:00pm

The World War V

Jan 10

Mice & Rifles w/ Little Radar, Magnet school
Mice & Rifles (Austin) take an indie rock and roll stand against the fuck circus we’ve come to call everyday life. They’re not a punk band, they just like to express their opinion about shit they’re upset about. Show, after show, after show, Little Radar (Austin) demonstrate why they’re solely responsible for turning the Austin indie scene into the bonfire of sexuality it has become. Witnessing a performance of Magnet School (Austin) is like witnessing a brutal murder. As both experiences are crucial in becoming a complete human being. Let the catchy alternative rock of Magnet School pop your shock cherry and lessen the trauma for when you see that brutal ass murder that was mentioned earlier. Lamberts 10:00pm

The World War V (San Antonio) chug the shit out of nu-metal gems. Red Eyed Fly Outside 10:00pm

Criaturas w/ Creamers, Recide, Crooked bangs
Criaturas (Austin) are a trip to watch live. They shred through d-beat, thrash, and hardcore, while their lead singer looks like a crazy witch casting spells. In your face and up your ass, hardcore punks Creamers (Austin) and Recide (Austin) are guaranteed to raw dog you into rock n’ roll submission. Spooky punks Crooked Bangs (Austin) are rumored to be the maternal triplets of Francoise Hardy post Misfits tour bus gang bang. There might have been more Crooked Bangs members if Danzig’s baby’s fetus wasn’t eaten by the other ones in the second trimester. The 29th St. Ballroom 10:30pm

Cass McCombs w/ Frank Fairfield
A country rock and folk night. Cass McCombs is a much loved acoustic rock sensation. Frank Fairfield (L.A.) swoons folky banjo and violin songs with the craft of a real pro. Stubb’s Inside 9:00pm

Lower Class brats w/ black Irish, Night siege, oMGWtFbbQ, Jensen Eyes
The raunchy Lower Class Brats (Austin) play upbeat alcoholic music for the buffoonic populous. Black Irish (Austin) put down the pints and pick up the tin foil for a punk rock riverdance flowing from the deep reservoirs of Irish compassion with a powerful current only hearts the size of Texas could muster. Night Siege (Austin) are a furious bunch of Hardcore riff raffs that take and conquer their audience with hellish anguish and ever fiery loins. FREE SHOW Red 7 9:00pm

starfucker w/ Painted Palms, Alexico
Bring your dancing shoes and bust a nut. Starfucker (Portland) expertly relish their crowd with electro dance jingling. Painted Palms (San Fransico) are a lo-fi mess of distorted and dancey samples. Alexico (Monterrey) piles on multiple tracks of old keyboards and boing sounds into Thomas Dolby style ignoramus pop hits. Mohawk Outside 9:00pm

Fire From the Gods w/ Prey For sleep, Wake the Colossus, taking on Poseidon, bay of bigs, For Every Empire, slur
A homegrown Austin metal-core show is as good a reason as any to congregate with strangers and rock out. FREE SHOW Red 7 5:00pm

Jan 7

salesman w/ baker Family, Whalers
Salesman (Austin) flap their freak flags like you wouldn’t believe. They’re labeled as roots music even though they’re very much a late 90s reincarnation of the Doors. Baker Family (Austin) quench what no other droney indie pop band is searching for with an almost flamboyant sense of aloof ease. Whalers (Austin) shanty a slight variance of genres, mostly sticking to an alternative surf sound. ND at 501 Studios 9:00pm

Dana Falconberry w/ Marmalakes, sleepgood
Austin folk party madness. Dana Falconberry make use of pop melodies and intricate vocal harmonies. The Marmalakes take a more creative rock approach to their music with the occasional loud part. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

Jan 12

Youthful Masterbation technique w/ Daze of Heaven, bubbleface, Jackyls, Mugwump, Fox Island, Jeff brister
This is an experimental show, so be prepared to be yelled at, propositioned for bullshit, and subjected to the most asinine pig headedness known to humanity. But being an experimental show it’s all for the just cause of science. You too are a scientist merely by making a presence, feel free to get super stoked on science and take the idea of experimentation to the next level. Youthful Masterbation Technique isn’t a band. It’s a weird performance by a couple of dudes with effects channeled microphones that do all sorts of things like argue and crawl around in puddles. Daze of Heaven is a noise band that’s almost comically abrasive. Club 1808 10:00pm

Dynamite boy w/ Cruiserweight, Riddlin’ Kids, shaft, Fire Kills, Failsafe
Dynamite Boy (Austin) will BLOW...YOU...UP! They tear away all decency with a blistering pop punk force this gaggle of wild fucks unleashes only too well. After years of noodling their way through the Austin punk rock game, Cruiserweight have emerged top dogs as respected pop punk pit bosses. Riddlin’ Kids (Austin) garner the quintessential fun needed to sustain a crowd of life’s mangled exyouth. FREE SHOW Emo’s East 7:00pm

Art seen Alliance presents Heyoka w/ sugarpill, starlynx
Art Seen Alliance present a dance party to die for with dubstep sensation Heyoka (San Francisco).  Also, DJs Sugarpill (L.A.) and Starlynx (Austin) wear your feet out. The Parish 9:00pm

Ringo Deathstar w/ sundress, Ishi, The Clouds Are Ghosts, My Education, black books, bali Yaaah, Hello Caller, The Venturous
Rising in popularity at an incredible rate, Ringo Deathstar (Austin) have been giving life back to the beloved genre of shoe gaze with a more competent sense of artistry than the genres predecessors that could have only been tapped through a wisdom now reachable by some of the more current advancements that have taken place in the information age. Sundress (Denton) pump the psychedelic pop as hard as most crowds will allow and have been known to get a little risque in the spiritual sense. Ishi (Dallas) let loose and sauce it up with freaky synthpop. FREE SHOW Beauty Bar 10:00pm

Amplified Heat w/ sons of Hercules
Amplified Heat (Austin) deviate from the rest of the blues rock community by adding a real sense of animosity and ill will to their music. Sons of Hercules (San Antonio) is a classic garage punk rock band of wretched fucks. Beerland 8:00pm

Jan 13

Rad Company, shit Creek, bike Problems, Gremlins UK
Rad Company are coming into town from Ohio. This ain’t the first time they’ve been here. They’re super noisy, chaotic and ... well, their videos are fucking raw as hell. Lots of screaming and all that shit. Should be good. Local Austiners, Shit Creek, play a noisy but sort of melodic punk, not quite as crazy, but at least there’s a steady beat you can count on for longish periods of time. Legendary White Swan 5:00pm

Jan 15

What Made Milwaukee Famous w/ The Happen-Ins, Gold beach
What Made Milwaukee Famous (Austin) bring a synergistic balance to the powerpop genre by blending painstakingly crafted rock with catchy pop licks. Their heretical behavior has humored many. The Happen-Ins (Austin) lather up the dignity with hot and heavy 70s bar rock, kind of like the slower Suzi Quatro songs. Gold Beach (Austin) fog up its spectators with wispy clouds of harmonized vocals and indie jingles that sound as if they’re echoed from a cave. Antone’s 8:00pm

scarface
Rap titan Scarface the Geto Boy hustles on. Mohawk Outside 8:00pm

balmorhea
Austin’s Balmorhea are an acoustic indie band that is sometimes considered experimental for using beats and rhythms other than typical rock drumming. The Parish 9:00pm

The French Inhales w/ Come And take It, The stuffies, The Restrooms
The French Inhales’ (Austin) specialty is shunting its spectators in their ear holes with rowdy indie post punk. Austin’s own Come and Take It give the gift of pop punk to humanity with a sage-like wisdom that lashes out deep from their lyrics. The Stuffies (Austin) are a sloppy and fast punk band with your standard fuckhead vocals. FREE SHOW Beerland 9:00pm

Jan 8

A tragic Fake w/ A spectacle In North America
A Tragic Fake (Dallas) call their music “genre defying.” Really, they’re just sorta poppy and a little ... OK a lot ... mid-to-early-2000s emo/pop punk. In fact, after I closed out of the 50 overlapping myspace music players that popped up, and you could actually hear the song playing, someone asked if it was Coheed and Cambira. Red Eyed Fly Inside 8:00pm

Crooks w/ Hello Wheels
Country rock artists Crooks (Austin) keep it real with mustaches and acoustic instruments. Hello Wheels (Austin) tear up the house with folk and bluegrass incorporated with exotic world rhythms and melodies. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

obN III’s w/ A Giant Dog, Ghost Knife, Grape st., shivery shakes, DJ Richard Henry
Y’all like rock music? The OBN III’s (Austin) blend classic rock with wet cigarettes. Garage punk band A Giant Dog (Austin) goes straight for the throat with all out crass and a feral punk rock air. Larger than life Ghost Knife (Austin) win hearts with garagey power punk riffs and Misfits style vocals. FREE SHOW Mohawk Inside 8:00pm

broken Gold w/ bremen Riot, The Gentelmen Rouges
A fluctuating freakshow of post rock by Broken Gold (Austin) headlines alternative indie rock band Bremen Riot (Austin), and the emotional indie pop but ambient The Gentelmen Rouges (Austin). Sounds

Wu-tang Clan

Jan 14

ola Podrida, ((sounder)), Hearts and Mind
This is gonna be a feel-good show of mellow Austinbased indie acoustic bands. Ola Podrida tend more towards alt-country and ((sounder)) more towards sing-y Neutral Milk Hotel sort of stuff. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

Quiet Company w/ The Pons, stereo is a Lie, Dead black Hearts, The Dark Water Hymnal 16 4

Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. Come and witness a gang of rap’s most influential innovators on one stage hot boxing Emo’s East. Don’t be an ignorant fool and pass up this show.

The Austin Cut, January 2012 | austincut.com

show list January 16 - 31
AVICII

Jan 16

Macho blush, Gardenella, Gym Mat Nap, overevo

Tim Bergling, a.k.a. ACIVII, is gonna rock you superpop euro techno style. In his Wikipedia photo he sorta looks like Chuckie, but at least he looks like he’s having the time of his life. Austin Music Hall 9:00pm

AUX, The All Days, Moi Je Jove
AUX describe themselves as “3 college boys expressing themselves through the art of song. They love their fans and greatly appreciate the support!” All 750 of them. But honestly, I thought they sounded a like a high school band who used to like Incubus. They’re going on tour with The All Days who sound kind of similar (maybe a little more 80s and a little better?). Since I don’t want to be a little bitch on every show listing: If you like pretty mellow shit that you can probably Xanax out to, head on down. Red Eyed Fly Outside 9:00pm

If Macho Blush’s SoundCloud songs are any indication, you might wanna bring some earplugs. Unless it’s some kind of a ridiculous joke, expect cymbal crashing, floor toms, demonic chanting, and a shitload of distortion. In the 70s, Jimmy Page spent years shooting smack and making a soundtrack for Kenneth Anger that ended up sounding like Macho Blush’s recorded music. Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

carried by their lead vocalist, Tiana Berlin, with the occasional backing of sax, xylophone, etc. Take a girl on a date to one of their shows if you want to score ... some points with her. The Parish 8:00pm

with another younger two-person Austin-based rock band, The Standoffs. Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

August burns Red
Ridiculously produced tech-metalcore comes to Austin. Think Between the Buried and Me. (Or don’t.) Emo’s East 7:00pm

Graveyard w/ Radio Moscow
Four dudes with long hair and random mustaches usually put on a good show. Graveyard seriously rocks, but still claims to play folk/blues/classic stuff. Radio Moscow is more hair, and more psychedelia. “Psychedelic blues for your soul!” Mohawk Outside 6:30pm

Jan 25

bad Weather California
If I close my eyes and listen to Bad Weather California, I can feel the sun’s warmth, sand between my toes, a gentle breeze, and a 40oz in my lap that’s freezin’ my balls. Back to reality: I’m sober and it’s still winter in Austin. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

Kendrick Lamar
Converse sneakers and Old E 40s. Sounds like me a couple years back, but I’m fucking white as hell and I drank 211 High Gravity. People like to compare Kendrick Lamar to 2Pac, but I’d say he’s more like The Game and even some Bone Thugs shit (“Look into my eyez”). Even though he’s still pretty new, the tickets aren’t cheap ($25+fees). Beauty Bar 8:00pm

Capitalist Kids (Record Release)
Austin locals, Capitalist Kids, play pretty straightforward three-piece poppy punk. They’re loud and pretty tight. If you like NOFX or anything remotely like that, you should check this out. Beerland 9:00pm

twin sister w/ Ava Luna

Jan 29

Rise Against, A Day to Remember, The Menzingers
Gross. Rise Against. Well, they’re coming to town. So if you wanna blow a large percent of your wimpy Austin paycheck here you are. Austin Music Hall 6:00pm

Jan 17

Nazi Gold
I haven’t been able to see Nazi Gold yet, but the Flesh Lights dropped the N-Bomb in their interview, so you might wanna check them out for the hell of it. Beerland 9:00pm

teenage News w/ big Eyes, Greg Enlow
Step right on up for the punk rock Elvis. Teenage News (Austin) have clear influences in 50s roots rock with lots of twang. That said, they still manage to make it punk. Free show. Buy a record. Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

Jan 26

Church shoes, Well Dressed Thieves, smithers, Eets Feats
If you like folk music, bluegrass, or oldschool country, you could probably wet your whistle at Beerland and have a good time doing it at this show. Beerland 9:00pm

In Flames, trivium, Veil of Maya, Kyng
Ultra produced Swedish metal stars, In Flames, will be playing with a bunch of generic heavy metal / nu-metal bands. This is the kind of shit some motherfucker hanging around until last call at a Midwestern bar would play on the jukebox right before puking all over the bathroom floor and driving home. Emo’s East 6:30pm

Jan 21

Twin Sister’s “All Around And Away We Go” is one of those indie pop hits that keeps you sitting in your car with the engine running long after you arrived at your destination. It just lets you know that everything is going to be alright. People will be on their feet for Ava Luna’s pop grooves that hit with funky synth sounds. Mohawk Inside 6:30pm

Lola Cola, slut River
Austin’s Lola Cola ... wow that’s a lot going on up there on stage. Two singers? Man I thought that went out with Christian metalcore. But somehow they make it work. And they do it in a New York Dolls kind of style. Slut River (also from Austin) are fucking trashy, sleazy sounding. Heavy at times. It’s great. Beerland 9:00pm

Me talk Pretty, Madina Lake, Hawthorne Heights, Get scared, New Years Day
New York’s Me Talk Pretty are going to be headlining for a bunch of bands that were headliners themselves. Pop show with emo and “hardcore” influences. Antone’s 6:30pm

These Are Words

Jan 18

Reverend Deadeye
One-man hellish roots-rocker, Reverend Deadeye, has a song called “Fuck the devil” so he gets points in my book. If you’re into gospel, folk, or blasphemy as blatant as Brother Lynch’s, you should check this out. Beerland 9:00pm

something Called Nothing, Millepede
Austin’s Something Called Nothing will be jamming a rock ‘n’ roll, garage style. Simple riffing and catchy bluesy riffs. Solos, long-ish jamming instrumental bridges. All that. Millepede (Austin) sound like a weird mix of Dead Kennedys with video game / nerd lyrics. Or in their words: “In a town full of game developers and other high tech types, they answer the call for a band with genuine nerd cred.” Trailer Space. BYOB. FREE SHOW Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

Beerland’s been pretty bumping lately, so I had to check out These Are Words, especially after I saw their weird-ass flier. It’s cool. They play psychedelicsounding hellish Texas punk. The songs they have on their BandCamp site are kind of all over the place, but all have a weird vibe of their own. Their demo tapes are worth checking out. Beerland 9:00pm

black Eye Vermillion, Whiskey Dick, Zero skills
Austin’s hellish Black Eye Vermillion’s music sounds like it could be the soundtrack to a pretty corny movie ... then you add the vocals and it turns into a fucked up, wasted shout along fest. Whiskey Dick are showing up to play perverted bluegrass country. Lovejoys 10:00pm

A Lull w/ Deleted scenes

Jan 30

Gangster Rainbow, Crooked bangs, Unknown Relatives, Night Viking
Austin garage / indie “extravaganza” at Beerland. Gangster Rainbow’s style of minimalistic, slowed indie garage should be more boring than it actually is. But their simple melodies paired with their singer’s lazy vocals almost bring it to a Velvet Underground at times. Crooked Bangs are fairly straight-forward and poppy, powered by their frontgirl’s vocals and somewhat intricate riffs. Beerland 9:00pm

Jan 19

Creationists
Austin’s Creationists jam acid washed punk with rad 80s vibes. They aren’t your typical raw, thrashy punk band though. Their songs are longer, and more developed. If they ever get on heavy doses of opiates, they might start to sound even better than Flipper’s less obnoxious material. Their demo is cool, so I say check this band out if you can. Beerland 9:00pm

tia Carrera, A Giant Dog

Jan 27

The toasters, spies Like Us, steady Legend
The Toasters are a ska band that got about as much success as a ska band can. They’ve been around for over 30 years. If you’re in your mid-to-late-20s, you might remember sitting in front of the tube and hearing some of their songs in commercials and on Nickelodeon. Well, they rode the 3rd wave of ska and they’re still riding it. SKA SHOW. Nothing more to say. Antone’s 9:00pm

Led Zeppelin 2
Back when I was in high school, my friends and I recorded somewhere around 25 songs of pure bullshit because our teacher said we could make a CD as a final project. We called it Metallica 2. So instead of writing a 15 page paper on some retard like Beethoven, we recorded the dumbest shit ever: we farted into trumpets, recorded nu-metal songs, and chanted stupid shit to the dorkiest beats ever. Then a bunch of other people who didn’t do their projects put their names on it at the last second and we all got A’s. If Led Zeppelin 2 is anything like Metallica 2 then you better get your ass down there. La Zona Rosa 9:00pm

There’s a lot to say about Austin’s A Giant Dog, but not much that hasn’t already been. Their singer, Sabrina, rips and the band keeps on getting better. I’d say go to this just for them. Austin’s Tia Carrera play a jammed out, sludgy ... dare I say almost grungy ... style of metal. You might need some drugs to help you to stand through one of their songs because they’re so  fucking long. At Beerland that means even more drinks in a dark pit. Beerland 9:00pm

A Lull has a fairly fitting name. It’s pleasant music that will help you fall asleep or whatever people with thick-ass glasses do. Here at the Austin Cut, we don’t sleep. Just like sharks. This show will include a lot of bobbing around, but don’t anticipate much for a party. Mohawk Inside 8:00pm

Victor Villareal, The Eastern sea, Meryll, My Empty Phantom
The early 90s’ emo pioneer Victor Villareal came out of musical reclusion in 2009 with a solo recording project. Although he was known for his intricate guitar style and complex songwriting, his solo project pretty much follows the stereotype of what a solo project is: acoustic guitar and extremely personal lyrics. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

Jan 31

badfish: a tribute to sublime
What the hell is there to say about this? You either hate it or you don’t. Emo’s East 10:00pm

oh snap! Festival

Jan 28

The Dirty Guv’nahs, brother of Pearl
Knoxville’s The Dirty Guv’nahs are showin’ up to play some pretty generic country-influenced rock. They have a shit load of fans, though, as is evidenced by the fact they’re doing an extensive fundraiser to get the 50 grand they need to record, promote, and make music videos for their upcoming album. Houston’s Brother of Pearl have a pretty standard modern country sound. Stubb’s Outside 9:00pm

befriend the bears (CD release), The White White Lights, shakey Graves, Rikavista
Looking at Befriend the Bears, you might think you’re looking at a photo of a mariachi or ska band. But live they’re an extremely mellow alt-rock band

Jan 22

Continued from the 28th. The Parish 5:00pm

Corporat Elvis, The standoffs
Corporat Elvis, Austin’s own of course, will be jammin heavy bluesy metalish rock. It’s a two man band, but I’m sure they’ll fill up the small Trailer Space “stage” just fine. They’re going to be playing

Jan 20

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, January 2012

17 3

I Solve Problems
life advice from h-bomb
by Heather Marie Watson “Dear H Bomb, I live with my boyfriend and our roommate, who is my friend. My boyfriend confessed to me that he used to have a really big crush on our roommate, and still finds her extremely attractive. I’ve found myself starting to resent my friend, especially when she walks around the house in less than appropriate attire (white tank tops with no bra, underwear with no pants on etc.). It almost seems like she is trying to drive my boyfriend crazy on purpose. I don’t want to make a big deal of it to anyone, but my feelings are creating conflict with my friend and even more in my relationship. What should I do? - Jealous”
Dear Jealous, Oh dang. Girl, that sucks! I’m putting myself in your shoes … it feels like hell. But that doesn’t mean your situation is FUBAR’d. Not necessarily. This type of scenario can rapidly escalate, like a snowball from hell, into a Jerry Springer nightmare. The fact that it hasn’t yet means you have a good grip on yourself. You need to give yourself mad props for getting to this point without losing your mind. A situation like this has triggers everywhere. And it builds pressure quickly. That means if things don’t get aired out … like yesterday, the whole thing could explode over something miniscule, like a glance, a giggle, or an earring found in the couch. You see what I’m saying? Your self-awareness and self-control is … not normal. That’s a good thing. Most people would’ve thrown their head through a wall by now. So … whatever it is you’re doing to keep yourself in check, keep doing it until you’ve decided on how you want to handle this. Living with anyone can, and will at some point, become irritating at best or “war of the worlds” at worst … which is never fun and usually means you avoid that person like the plague when it’s over. It seems like the less emotionally invested you are in your roomy, the less likely you are to piss each other off. I’m going to assume that when you moved in with your friend and boyfriend, the idea seemed perfect, or at least made sense at the time. Honestly, unless you’ve known the individual(s) you’re about to move in with for a substantial amount of time, it’s pretty much impossible to anticipate for sure what life is going to be like. Even when you think you’ve got each other figured out completely, living together brings anything previously hidden to the surface. I know it’s hard to think straight with all that emotion congealing in your brain. To help clear the fog, ask yourself a few questions: How long have you been friends with this girl? How close are you? I know I wouldn’t be strutting around in my tighty whities when my girl’s boyfriend was in the house. Sorry, that’s not what nice people do. It’s pretty sleazy actually. Unless otherwise clearly defined by all parties, “pants on please” is a pretty common house rule amongst plutonic, opposite sex roomies. As for your man, WTF? I mean, I really have no clue about the ins and outs, history, or dynamic of your relationship with this dude, but I don’t like him. He’s not respecting you when he lets her flirt with him in her underwear, especially after telling you that he’s had an ongoing attraction to her for sometime. The whole thing seems like a game. They like the attention they get from each other. But you’re caught in the cross fire and, on top of that, you have to live there. Not cool. Something’s gotta give. It’s not going to get better unless things that need to be said are said. And … I’m mainly talking about things you need to say. I’ll be honest, things might get messier before they get any better. And “better” may not look like what you’re hoping for. Don’t be discouraged by that. The hardest thing for you will be putting your self worth first. You have to be really, I mean brutally, honest with yourself.   If you feel the friendship is worth salvaging, sit her down when the boy toy’s not around and let her know it bothers you when she’s all “buddy buddy” with your dude while half naked. If she’s any (ANY) kind of friend worth keeping, she’ll feel like shit, apologize, and things will change. I hate to say it, but don’t be surprised if she acts all innocent or blows you off as “overreacting.” If you decide it’s not worth it and she’s not a friend you want if that’s how she treats you, tell her if she doesn’t stop, she’s gonna come home one day to find all her shit in the parking lot under your balcony. And I hate to say it … but the same thing goes for your dude. He needs to know he’s being a jerk. And … if he doesn’t see it, doesn’t change it … the guy needs to go. This situation is unpredictable. Think of somewhere else to stay for a while if you need to. If it gets to be too much, you may be the one moving in the end.

PersonAls
W4M - 28 - The most beautiful blue eyes you’ve ever seen
I’m a domestic goddess and self-employed beauty (5’8” athletic and curvy-NOT FAT). Looking for a fun guy to hang out with who has SOMETHING (anything is OK) going for himself. No Bible-thumpers or Rick Perry fans please. [email protected]

M4W - 26 - Discouraged
Feel like I can’t meet anyone worthwhile—trust me, this is a last resort. If you don’t live your life on your iPhone let’s meet. [email protected]

W4M - 23 - Animal Lover
I’m looking for a guy with ideals. I’m a vegan and I can cook. Animals are my passion. You have to love / respect them too! [email protected]

M4W - 27 - Straight Up
I just got out of a long and awful relationship. Looking for a gal that can prove you aren’t all complete shakes. I like music and don’t drink. No smokers please. [email protected]

W4W - 24 - New to Austin
Self-loathing Leo seeking a like-minded woman who reads books or paints pictures. If you like your Tennessee Williams, then I'm your girl. [email protected]

M4M - 20 - Glasses Guy
I’m a 420 typical college guy (who’s active) looking for a good time with a sugah daddy, or whatever… [email protected]

W4M - 23 - Smarta$$ Bartender
I want someone with money who can save me from whoring myself out (not literally) at the bar. I’m attractive and you have to be too. [email protected]

W4M - 29 - True Blue Gal
Looking for my soul mate. Good place to look right? Sick of dating random weenies. If you’re ready to get serious, so am I. [email protected]

M4W - 23 - Driven Musician and College Grad
Looking for a smart girl who reads. If you don’t watch TV you’re for me.
[email protected]

GoT A PRoBLeM?
she’s goT answers.
[email protected]
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SICK OF WAITING FOR LOVE?

[email protected]
austincut.com | The Austin Cut, January 2012

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