The Friendships of Paul
Content
THE FRIE DSHIPS OF PAUL
BY HUGH BLACK
Furthermore, when I came to Troas to preach Chriafa Gospel and a door teas opened unto me of the Lord, I had no rest in my spirit, because I found not Titus my brother* — 2 CORI THIA S ii. 13. I DESEBB to speak of an aspect of St. Paul's life and character not often noticed, his friendships, his relation to those who were in the inner circle of his associates. This does not lie on the surface either of the record of his deeds or on the surface of his letters, but has to be gathered little by little from stray remarks and casual incidents. That this should be so is to be expected from the nature of the materials at our disposal, which are the Acts of the Apostles dealing with the amazing spread of the Church as a record of events, and the Epistles, which as a rule were not personal letters but addressed to a community and dealing therefore with general subjects interesting to the Church at large. At the same time a man of Paul's temperament could not escape from giving us evidences of his depth of feeling for in18G
FRIE DSHIPS OF PAUL 187
dividuals ; and so we find him revealed in his letters, as we would never have known him from his accomplished works. If we were confined to the record of the Acts for knowledge of his personality we would have gathered much from what he was enabled to do, his tireless energy, his magnificent success in building up the Church of Christ. Here and there we would have had a glimpse into his heart through one or other of his speeches, such as the affecting address to the elders of Ephesus, when he had to tell them he was going to Jerusalem not knowing the things that would befall him there. We would see his mingled courage and fine sensibility and deep and tender affection for the men with whom he had laboured. We only need to read that speech with sympathy to understand why at its close they all wept sore, and fell on Paul's neck and kissed him, sorrowing most of all for the words which he spake that they should see his face no more. But we could not get much insight into the deep world of feeling within the man merely from the history of all his labours and journeys, related largely as they had to be from the outside. In his letters, however, though they were not personal letters in our sense of the word, ever and again there is a rift and we see into his heart. If we read with care and sympathy we gradually piece together
188 THE GIFT OP I FLUE CE features that let us see in some completeness the human character of the writer. At present I do not speak of the many qualities which are so traced —
the strength and delicacy of feeling, the fearless independence of mind, the unselfishness,. .the passion of zeal, the great grasp of intellect, and such like, for which one could find many illustrations. Our subject rather is the need he shows for human intercourse and help, the relations in which he stood towards his intimate friends. This is somewhat different from his relations with the different Churches he founded, the group of converts he made at every step in his great missionary journeys. In a sense the two subjects are alike at least in this that Paul always gave more to others than he ever needed to receive, which is the privilege of the strong and the gifted. Alike to his most intimate friends, and to the great mass of Christian converts the Apostle was as one who served, who stood as master and teacher and adviser and ruler. He was so easily first in his magnificent qualities of brain and heart and soul, that it seems absurd to speak of any mutual relation. All his converts were beloved friends towards whom he had the tenderest feelings, and his letters abound in instances of courtesy and sweet thoughtfulness and tender appeal
FRIE DSHIPS OP PAUL 189 to affection. Eead the Epistle to the Philippians, which is one of the noblest and sweetest love-letters ever written, full of loving reminiscences and affectionate touches, addressing them in endearing terms, " my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown," and you will realise what a pastor's
heart Paul had. In a very true sense he was the friend of all the Churches, and looked upon all who named the name of Jesus as his friends. But like other men he had human needs for the closer intimacies, the need for an intercourse nearer than even that close tie. And there is for us all a great and useful lesson in this. We can put a man like St. Paul so far from us in our contemplation of his virtues that he ceases to really influence us except as something to wonder'at We can think of him as so unapproachable, and look at his goodness as like the sunlight that strikes upon the stainless peaks, that his example has for us no real inspiration. This is a distinct danger when we realise what things there were in his life which divide him from his commonplace brethren. His untiring energy, his greatness of soul, his superiority to the things that tempt other men, the loftiness of mind which raised him above jealousies and envyings, the unselfishness of life which makes us feel poor and mean beside him, all
190 THE GIFT OF I FLUE CE the phenomenal qualities that constituted his greatness, all tend to isolate him from our level. He rises more than once almost above the high-water mark of human nature, as when he says with such fervid sincerity, " I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren's sake." He seemed to forget that he was a man when, in the passion of a wondrous love, he counted all things for which other men strove as dross. He seemed above human frailty
and hiunan passion. God knows how small we men feel beside such a man, who had won his sainthood with blood. It is good for us, then, to note the common grounds of his life with ours, not that the idol has feet of clay as mean natures love to remark, but that he never posed as an idol at all, that he was human in his every need. It is good to note the times when Paul comes near us and opens his heart ; for it may be that the inspiring thought may grip us with that quick intensity which cuts the breath that even we may in our measure become like him. He hungered for the help and sympathy of his friends, and felt desolate and helpless when he was deprived of them. More than once he lets us see that he was cast down and needed to be comforted by the coming of a friend like Titus. Our text is a case in point He had gone to Troas
FRIE DSHIPS OF PAUL 191 ■ expecting to meet there a fellow-worker, and his disappointment made him almost powerless, ^^I had no rest in my spirit because I found not Titus my brother." It would need a sermon for each to trace the relationship in which Paul stood to Timothy, to Titus, to Luke the beloved physician, to Barnabas. There is this to be noticed first of all about all these friendships, that it was not merely a relation of master and disciples. It was that in many cases
and added a new and sweet bond between them. But he also seemed to lean on them for sympathy and help, as for example Titus, of whom he says, " When we were come into Macedonia our flesh had no rest, but we were troubled on every side, nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us by the coming of Titus." Or again he writes to Timothy with a tone of pleading in the words, " Do thy diligence to come unto me shortly; for Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world; Crescens hath gone to Galatia, Titus unto Dalmatia, only Luke is with me. Take Mark and bring him with thee; for he is profitable to me for the ministry." He was not afraid to let his comrades know how much he leant on them and prized their faithfulness; he never tried to pose as self-contained as smaller men do. He was not afraid to let his friends
192 THE GIFT OF I FLUE CE know how he loved them, and never grudged praise to his associates. What a generous, large-hearted friend Paul was I He hardly ever mentions one of his fellow-workers without an endearing epithet^ such as ^^My beloved,*' or "our sister,*' or "our labourers in the Lord," or as with Timothy, "my dearly beloved son.'' o wonder he received such devoted love, and found men who would willingly have faced death for one look of comimendation from him. Though he was one of the best-hated of men, he was also one of the best loved. Eead the last chapter of
Bomans with its beautiful salutations, and you realise how Paul was blessed with friends. There is a chapter in every epithet, a chapter of his heart, as this one, " Salute Eufus chosen in the Lord, and his mother — and mine." What an unrecorded chapter these words hint at, when the mother of Rufus succoured the wandering Apostle, it may be nursed him in some sore sickness, so that she was to him ever after "the mother of Rufus — and my mother too." I wish I could go over in detail all these references scattered through Paul's letters which illustrate this aspect of his great character. We would be struck with their complete appreciation of the good qualities
FRIE DSHIPS OP PAUL 198 of his friends, the generous gratitude he offered, the noble praise. Take just one other which also has a chapter of incident in it — ^when he speaks of Priscilla and her husband Aquila and calls them ^^my helpers in Christ Jesus, who have for my life laid down their own necks." As I went over the Epistles to note all the references, sometimes to nameless names embalmed in the ew Testament by Paul's love, I did not know whether I was more affected by the humble, loyal, and faithful service of so many who are just names to us, or by the great-hearted Apostle who loved to speak of them in his generous pride of them. There have been many sermons preached about Paul's genius for statecraft, his genius for Church government, his genius for theology; but I
do not remember ever hearing of a sermon on Paul's genius for friendship ; and yet is it not so ? It would be to tell his noble life's story to adequately treat this subject ; for all his work is associated with some evidence of friends. Think of his gratitude to Luke the beloved physician ; his tender care like a mother's for Timothy's health, the delicacy of his appeal to Philemon, whom he feels he might well have commanded, " yet for love's sake I rather beseech you, being such an one as Paul the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ."
194 THE GIFT OF I FLUE CE Of course we know there must have been great personal magnetism in Paul which gave him easy hold of men^ but all his friends were tried by fire afterwards, and though some failed him as Demas, and the ranks were thinned by the loss of all fairweather friends, yet the tie that bound them was stronger far than any mere personal attraction. This has to be said about all Paulas friendships that they were conditioned by his work. They were not idle gossips and dilettante companions, who had some opinions and tastes in common. He for one had no time and no heart for the comradeship that meant nothing but a graceful adornment of life. His friends were all fellow-workers, all in sympathy with the great object for which he lived. Their telationship went down to bed-rock, and they could not be moved so long as each remained true. The first requisite for Paul was sympathy with the great work he had in hand. This seemed sometimes to make
him a little hard and relentless, as when he refused to 'take Mark on the second missionary tour because he had turned back in the first journey and went not with them to the work. Paul with his eager impetuous nature, unable to understand vacillation and almost contemptuous of weakness, would not lean any more on such a broken .reed. He preferred to
FRIE DSHIPS OF PAUL 196 separate altogether from Barnabas rather than let the craven Mark come with them. But when the young man proved himself true and staunch, he seems to have won PauFs admiration and love. The warmhearted Apostle from his references afterwards seems almost eager to make up to Mark for his former poor opinion of him. It was not exclusiveness which made Paul limit his comradeship to those who were like-minded. It was essential for the great work to which he bent every thought and energy. If a man had no interest in Christ, and in the extension of the Kingdom of Gk)d, he could be no fit friend for Paul. If a man turned back from the large venture for the world, as Demas did in the hour of trial, it was a stab to Paul's heart and to that love which lay deepest in Paul's heart To him it would be as a treachery to his Lord, and friendship under these circimistanoes could only be a name. This is not due to any tone of hardness in Paul's mind, a narrowness which made him sacrifice any one who could not see eye to eye with him. For, after all, it is the one essential condition
of aU true friendship. The only permanent relationship among men is a spiritual one. It does not mean thinking alike, and being alike in temperament and capacity, but it must
196 THE GIFT OF I FLUE CE mean some commnnity in the things of the souL If men never plumb the deepest parts of their nature they cannot really know each other. Ko relationship founded on physical contiguity or on intellectual tastes can from the very nature of the case be lasting. There can be no permanent basis of deep agreement except in spiritual community. If another has no sympathy with us in our highest thoughts and noblest passions and holiest aspirations^ it is only desecrating the fine word to speak of friendship. It may be partnership, or intercourse more or less pleasant, but it cannot be fellowship. If Paul goes on to his great service pouring out his noble heart for high ends, and Demas loves this present world, whs^t can it be but separation t The only permanent relationship is one of spiritual community : the only permanent severance of hearts is lack of that community. Be not unequally yoked, is a solemn word. Unless men love the same love, and are in sympathy in the high things of the soul, it can only be a form of friendship denying the power of it For Demas or any other to have had the chance of friendship with Paul, and to have bartered it away for some poor pittance of worldly good, is a tragedy.
Perhaps he did not realise of how much worth it was to gain a smile from Paul, until he lost the chance
FRIE DSHIPS OF PAUL 197 of doing it All that he would gain from his desertion, however much it brought him, was a poor exchange for the days and nights with Paul, and the fellowship of the faith of Christy and a share in the service of the Kingdom of Heaven. It was more than Paul's friendship that Demas lost. If you want to havQ noble friends, you must be willing to be noble. If you want to be bound in ties stronger than the tie of blood, you must meet together in the inner sanctuary, you must in the largest sense of the word make your friends in Christ.
1. 68 FREE BOOKS http://www.scribd.com/doc/21800308/Free-Christian-Books
2. ALL WRITI GS http://www.scribd.com/glennpease/documents?page=970
BY HUGH BLACK
Furthermore, when I came to Troas to preach Chriafa Gospel and a door teas opened unto me of the Lord, I had no rest in my spirit, because I found not Titus my brother* — 2 CORI THIA S ii. 13. I DESEBB to speak of an aspect of St. Paul's life and character not often noticed, his friendships, his relation to those who were in the inner circle of his associates. This does not lie on the surface either of the record of his deeds or on the surface of his letters, but has to be gathered little by little from stray remarks and casual incidents. That this should be so is to be expected from the nature of the materials at our disposal, which are the Acts of the Apostles dealing with the amazing spread of the Church as a record of events, and the Epistles, which as a rule were not personal letters but addressed to a community and dealing therefore with general subjects interesting to the Church at large. At the same time a man of Paul's temperament could not escape from giving us evidences of his depth of feeling for in18G
FRIE DSHIPS OF PAUL 187
dividuals ; and so we find him revealed in his letters, as we would never have known him from his accomplished works. If we were confined to the record of the Acts for knowledge of his personality we would have gathered much from what he was enabled to do, his tireless energy, his magnificent success in building up the Church of Christ. Here and there we would have had a glimpse into his heart through one or other of his speeches, such as the affecting address to the elders of Ephesus, when he had to tell them he was going to Jerusalem not knowing the things that would befall him there. We would see his mingled courage and fine sensibility and deep and tender affection for the men with whom he had laboured. We only need to read that speech with sympathy to understand why at its close they all wept sore, and fell on Paul's neck and kissed him, sorrowing most of all for the words which he spake that they should see his face no more. But we could not get much insight into the deep world of feeling within the man merely from the history of all his labours and journeys, related largely as they had to be from the outside. In his letters, however, though they were not personal letters in our sense of the word, ever and again there is a rift and we see into his heart. If we read with care and sympathy we gradually piece together
188 THE GIFT OP I FLUE CE features that let us see in some completeness the human character of the writer. At present I do not speak of the many qualities which are so traced —
the strength and delicacy of feeling, the fearless independence of mind, the unselfishness,. .the passion of zeal, the great grasp of intellect, and such like, for which one could find many illustrations. Our subject rather is the need he shows for human intercourse and help, the relations in which he stood towards his intimate friends. This is somewhat different from his relations with the different Churches he founded, the group of converts he made at every step in his great missionary journeys. In a sense the two subjects are alike at least in this that Paul always gave more to others than he ever needed to receive, which is the privilege of the strong and the gifted. Alike to his most intimate friends, and to the great mass of Christian converts the Apostle was as one who served, who stood as master and teacher and adviser and ruler. He was so easily first in his magnificent qualities of brain and heart and soul, that it seems absurd to speak of any mutual relation. All his converts were beloved friends towards whom he had the tenderest feelings, and his letters abound in instances of courtesy and sweet thoughtfulness and tender appeal
FRIE DSHIPS OP PAUL 189 to affection. Eead the Epistle to the Philippians, which is one of the noblest and sweetest love-letters ever written, full of loving reminiscences and affectionate touches, addressing them in endearing terms, " my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown," and you will realise what a pastor's
heart Paul had. In a very true sense he was the friend of all the Churches, and looked upon all who named the name of Jesus as his friends. But like other men he had human needs for the closer intimacies, the need for an intercourse nearer than even that close tie. And there is for us all a great and useful lesson in this. We can put a man like St. Paul so far from us in our contemplation of his virtues that he ceases to really influence us except as something to wonder'at We can think of him as so unapproachable, and look at his goodness as like the sunlight that strikes upon the stainless peaks, that his example has for us no real inspiration. This is a distinct danger when we realise what things there were in his life which divide him from his commonplace brethren. His untiring energy, his greatness of soul, his superiority to the things that tempt other men, the loftiness of mind which raised him above jealousies and envyings, the unselfishness of life which makes us feel poor and mean beside him, all
190 THE GIFT OF I FLUE CE the phenomenal qualities that constituted his greatness, all tend to isolate him from our level. He rises more than once almost above the high-water mark of human nature, as when he says with such fervid sincerity, " I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren's sake." He seemed to forget that he was a man when, in the passion of a wondrous love, he counted all things for which other men strove as dross. He seemed above human frailty
and hiunan passion. God knows how small we men feel beside such a man, who had won his sainthood with blood. It is good for us, then, to note the common grounds of his life with ours, not that the idol has feet of clay as mean natures love to remark, but that he never posed as an idol at all, that he was human in his every need. It is good to note the times when Paul comes near us and opens his heart ; for it may be that the inspiring thought may grip us with that quick intensity which cuts the breath that even we may in our measure become like him. He hungered for the help and sympathy of his friends, and felt desolate and helpless when he was deprived of them. More than once he lets us see that he was cast down and needed to be comforted by the coming of a friend like Titus. Our text is a case in point He had gone to Troas
FRIE DSHIPS OF PAUL 191 ■ expecting to meet there a fellow-worker, and his disappointment made him almost powerless, ^^I had no rest in my spirit because I found not Titus my brother." It would need a sermon for each to trace the relationship in which Paul stood to Timothy, to Titus, to Luke the beloved physician, to Barnabas. There is this to be noticed first of all about all these friendships, that it was not merely a relation of master and disciples. It was that in many cases
and added a new and sweet bond between them. But he also seemed to lean on them for sympathy and help, as for example Titus, of whom he says, " When we were come into Macedonia our flesh had no rest, but we were troubled on every side, nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us by the coming of Titus." Or again he writes to Timothy with a tone of pleading in the words, " Do thy diligence to come unto me shortly; for Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world; Crescens hath gone to Galatia, Titus unto Dalmatia, only Luke is with me. Take Mark and bring him with thee; for he is profitable to me for the ministry." He was not afraid to let his comrades know how much he leant on them and prized their faithfulness; he never tried to pose as self-contained as smaller men do. He was not afraid to let his friends
192 THE GIFT OF I FLUE CE know how he loved them, and never grudged praise to his associates. What a generous, large-hearted friend Paul was I He hardly ever mentions one of his fellow-workers without an endearing epithet^ such as ^^My beloved,*' or "our sister,*' or "our labourers in the Lord," or as with Timothy, "my dearly beloved son.'' o wonder he received such devoted love, and found men who would willingly have faced death for one look of comimendation from him. Though he was one of the best-hated of men, he was also one of the best loved. Eead the last chapter of
Bomans with its beautiful salutations, and you realise how Paul was blessed with friends. There is a chapter in every epithet, a chapter of his heart, as this one, " Salute Eufus chosen in the Lord, and his mother — and mine." What an unrecorded chapter these words hint at, when the mother of Rufus succoured the wandering Apostle, it may be nursed him in some sore sickness, so that she was to him ever after "the mother of Rufus — and my mother too." I wish I could go over in detail all these references scattered through Paul's letters which illustrate this aspect of his great character. We would be struck with their complete appreciation of the good qualities
FRIE DSHIPS OP PAUL 198 of his friends, the generous gratitude he offered, the noble praise. Take just one other which also has a chapter of incident in it — ^when he speaks of Priscilla and her husband Aquila and calls them ^^my helpers in Christ Jesus, who have for my life laid down their own necks." As I went over the Epistles to note all the references, sometimes to nameless names embalmed in the ew Testament by Paul's love, I did not know whether I was more affected by the humble, loyal, and faithful service of so many who are just names to us, or by the great-hearted Apostle who loved to speak of them in his generous pride of them. There have been many sermons preached about Paul's genius for statecraft, his genius for Church government, his genius for theology; but I
do not remember ever hearing of a sermon on Paul's genius for friendship ; and yet is it not so ? It would be to tell his noble life's story to adequately treat this subject ; for all his work is associated with some evidence of friends. Think of his gratitude to Luke the beloved physician ; his tender care like a mother's for Timothy's health, the delicacy of his appeal to Philemon, whom he feels he might well have commanded, " yet for love's sake I rather beseech you, being such an one as Paul the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ."
194 THE GIFT OF I FLUE CE Of course we know there must have been great personal magnetism in Paul which gave him easy hold of men^ but all his friends were tried by fire afterwards, and though some failed him as Demas, and the ranks were thinned by the loss of all fairweather friends, yet the tie that bound them was stronger far than any mere personal attraction. This has to be said about all Paulas friendships that they were conditioned by his work. They were not idle gossips and dilettante companions, who had some opinions and tastes in common. He for one had no time and no heart for the comradeship that meant nothing but a graceful adornment of life. His friends were all fellow-workers, all in sympathy with the great object for which he lived. Their telationship went down to bed-rock, and they could not be moved so long as each remained true. The first requisite for Paul was sympathy with the great work he had in hand. This seemed sometimes to make
him a little hard and relentless, as when he refused to 'take Mark on the second missionary tour because he had turned back in the first journey and went not with them to the work. Paul with his eager impetuous nature, unable to understand vacillation and almost contemptuous of weakness, would not lean any more on such a broken .reed. He preferred to
FRIE DSHIPS OF PAUL 196 separate altogether from Barnabas rather than let the craven Mark come with them. But when the young man proved himself true and staunch, he seems to have won PauFs admiration and love. The warmhearted Apostle from his references afterwards seems almost eager to make up to Mark for his former poor opinion of him. It was not exclusiveness which made Paul limit his comradeship to those who were like-minded. It was essential for the great work to which he bent every thought and energy. If a man had no interest in Christ, and in the extension of the Kingdom of Gk)d, he could be no fit friend for Paul. If a man turned back from the large venture for the world, as Demas did in the hour of trial, it was a stab to Paul's heart and to that love which lay deepest in Paul's heart To him it would be as a treachery to his Lord, and friendship under these circimistanoes could only be a name. This is not due to any tone of hardness in Paul's mind, a narrowness which made him sacrifice any one who could not see eye to eye with him. For, after all, it is the one essential condition
of aU true friendship. The only permanent relationship among men is a spiritual one. It does not mean thinking alike, and being alike in temperament and capacity, but it must
196 THE GIFT OF I FLUE CE mean some commnnity in the things of the souL If men never plumb the deepest parts of their nature they cannot really know each other. Ko relationship founded on physical contiguity or on intellectual tastes can from the very nature of the case be lasting. There can be no permanent basis of deep agreement except in spiritual community. If another has no sympathy with us in our highest thoughts and noblest passions and holiest aspirations^ it is only desecrating the fine word to speak of friendship. It may be partnership, or intercourse more or less pleasant, but it cannot be fellowship. If Paul goes on to his great service pouring out his noble heart for high ends, and Demas loves this present world, whs^t can it be but separation t The only permanent relationship is one of spiritual community : the only permanent severance of hearts is lack of that community. Be not unequally yoked, is a solemn word. Unless men love the same love, and are in sympathy in the high things of the soul, it can only be a form of friendship denying the power of it For Demas or any other to have had the chance of friendship with Paul, and to have bartered it away for some poor pittance of worldly good, is a tragedy.
Perhaps he did not realise of how much worth it was to gain a smile from Paul, until he lost the chance
FRIE DSHIPS OF PAUL 197 of doing it All that he would gain from his desertion, however much it brought him, was a poor exchange for the days and nights with Paul, and the fellowship of the faith of Christy and a share in the service of the Kingdom of Heaven. It was more than Paul's friendship that Demas lost. If you want to havQ noble friends, you must be willing to be noble. If you want to be bound in ties stronger than the tie of blood, you must meet together in the inner sanctuary, you must in the largest sense of the word make your friends in Christ.
1. 68 FREE BOOKS http://www.scribd.com/doc/21800308/Free-Christian-Books
2. ALL WRITI GS http://www.scribd.com/glennpease/documents?page=970
