The One That Got Away

Published on June 2016 | Categories: Types, Books - Non-fiction | Downloads: 42 | Comments: 0 | Views: 275
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Maybe falling in love isn't such a bad thing. But if you fall hard enough when no ones going to catch you... that's a whole other story. In Chloe's case, she has to learn it the heard way, repeatedly. After going through several break-ups you'd think she'd learn her lesson. But maybe, fate has a different path for her. Despite the pain and hurt she's endured and all the ex-boyfriends that came around, there are these certain guys she can't seem to move on from. Chloe has dated a string of different guys in her time, and still, after every break-up she maintains a positive attitude. Sticking to her saying "One of the reasons we broke up is because some other right guy will be mine in the end"As the memories of the past continues to haunt her, will she be able to move on and find the Right Guy? Or will she continue reminiscing the most cherished times that possibly could never be brought back? Who is the Right Guy? Who is the one that got away?

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1 Only the Beginning Ever made a decision in your life where half of your heart knows you’re making a huge mistake, but the other half of you waits a little longer just so you can tell yourself ‘I told you so’? If you have, then welcome to my world. I’m Chloe Arielle Rhodes. Admittedly, I’m not one of those stuck-up, rich kids. My financial status is average. And being popular was never a big- if not HUGE- deal for me, it just came naturally, now it doesn’t matter to me at all. At school, my life’s normal, no bullies or anything like that. I’m doing pretty well, if you ask me, well excluding Calculus. But if love was a subject we had to take in our syllabus, I’d be a straight-A student. I can try and come up with solutions for every love problem, but when it’s the real deal, I can’t seem to get it right. I’m getting ahead of myself; I think I should start from where it all began... the beginning. ** * “3...2...1, Happy New Year, everyone!!!” everyone said in chorus. Even though, I decided to isolate myself inside my room and wallow in self pity ever since Christmas eve, I could picture in my mind the faces of Aunt Vicky, Uncle Brian, Jonathan and other family and friends Mom invited over for the occasion. “Aree? Aren’t going to join us, honey?” Mom knocked, while I dived in my bed hoping she’d go away. Speaking of.. “No.” I grumbled underneath the sheets, and covered my face with a pillow as she entered my room, “I’m not going downstairs looking like this” “Your eyes still puffy from all that crying you’ve been doing lately? Might as well add that as your newfound hobby” My mother, may be the only one who thinks insulting me as a joke would make her daughter feel better. “Wendy wants to meet you, an old friend back in college. Along with other guests downstairs” “Pass.” “Could you at least reply me in more than one syllable?” “Nope.” My curt reply and she sighed. That’s all she could do, nothing can make me go downstairs and join in on the ‘fun’. But I knew that was the wrong answer. My mom ALWAYS had a way of getting what she wants; it’s one of the many things I find so frustrating about her. I took back my reply and instead said, “Okay, I’ll follow you down after I get ready, I’ll say it’s an insect bite if they ask” Her reaction couldn’t be seen through the sheets, but she must’ve been satisfied with my answer and went back downstairs, shutting the door behind her. “You better hurry up!” she shouted beating the volume of the music playing downstairs. I immediately stood up, causing my head to hurt and made my vision blurry. I staggered all the way to the other side of the room, to get to my closet. I must’ve already reached the other side of the room, because I bumped into a hard wall, making me stumble backwards. I fell to the floor, nothing alarming or anything. I lay on my navy blue faux fur carpet, beginning to feel the tears in my eyelids, flashbacks playing in my mind. Don’t you dare cry, Chloe. You are not going to go down there looking like you blew helium into your upper eyelids. I blinked several times before I stood up. I stared into my reflection in my mirror. Ugh. It’s still puffy, but not as worse as it was 2 days ago. I think my tear ducts were low on supply on tears now, as I didn’t cry much anymore. Ugh, who cares? It’s my house. And it’s New Years, so whatever. Several people looked in my direction as I went down the staircase. I was wearing one of my favourite party dresses. It was turquoise green, just above-the-knee length, tight at the end, with a modest neckline. Some smiled, some waved, but I knew everyone noticed my eyes. I gave Mom’s requests a chance and made small talk with all her friends. When I almost thought I was gonna doze off during the never ending introductions, Arianne Sarah Gavins pulled me aside. Arianne, my bestfriend, soul sister, and companion in every scene of my life. “Wow. I bet you could supply enough tears for the water tower” and she’s sometimes scarily like a duplicate of Mom. But honest enough to tell me the truth. “Ha.Ha.Ha. you’re hilarious” “I’m kidding, loosen up, the girls are out in the backyard with your cousins”

2 “Lemme guess, you wanna show off my blown up face?” “I thought of that, but no. We just wanna help you, you know we’re here for you. We know how much you’re hurting right now, and..” “Look, stop. Just stop reminding me, ‘kay? I wasn’t even thinking about that till you brought it up a few seconds ago. I’ve moved on. Change topic” I cut her off, fighting back the tears. “We both know you haven’t,” she sighed, “Don’t worry, you’ll pull through, you always do. And this isn’t the end, you know that right?” No, it is the end. I looked at her as if I agreed to what she just said. She continued, “This is only the beginning”

3 Just Smile Sitting at the end of my bed, inspecting my room in every angle. The sunlight shone through my beige thin curtains. I officially turned fifteen, eight months ago. And apparently, my tastes have changed. Dad promised I could redecorate my room by the time the year ended. It’s now the first day of January and I should start seeing some change around here, starting with my faux fur carpet. Mom gave me a budget of only a hundred dollars to redecorate my room, unbelievable right? How am I supposed to give my room a total makeover with that amount of cash. But the room decor shopping, had to wait, school starts tomorrow and I have to be prepared. This is totally unlike me to shop for school essentials at the last minute, I’d usually be done with that a month before- if only I hadn’t been crying my eyes out. It was 8 in the morning, and our little town, Cydille Mane was strangely busy, probably putting down New Year decorations. And by the adjective ‘little town’ is first best choice to describe it. With only a population of over 5,000: it’s not surprising how everyone knows everyone. If the cliché ‘A little dot on the map’ seems to be another suitable phrase. Over social networking sites I’ve encountered, whenever I mention Cydille Mane, people assume it’s a fictional place like Narnia or something –Arianne would disagree considering the fact that she’s a big fan of that saying Narnia shouldn’t be compared to our sleepy town- probably 80% of this country barely even know we exist. I grabbed my phone slipping it into my front pocket, wallet in hand, and started running down the stairs towards the front door; before I would change my mind about my simple, grey printed T-shirt that fit my body perfectly and my teal green shorts, my hair up in a cute messy bun. I would normally dress in a way which I think is more appropriate –more shopping-like- but I wasn’t in the mood to actually spend an hour deciding on an outfit, so I wore that instead. I didn’t care who might see me in this, my mind was too preoccupied about my room. “Bye, Mom!! Be back before lunch” I shouted behind me, as I opened the door “Okay, take care!” she replied back somewhere in the house. I caught a breath of fresh air, and slowed down, walking down the pavement on our street. We lived in a suburb type of neighbourhood; actually that’s how everyone here in this town lived. Cydille Main’s houses are comprised in their own suburban neighbourhood in their own streets. I live in Qain Street along with Arianne and my four other girls. Mom was supposed to go school shopping with me but Lola, our maid, and her are busy cleaning up after the party last night, she declined my help and insisted on me to go instead. Stacey Feathers, a sweet little girl who lives five blocks down in a pink bike, smiled as I passed by. Along the way, people waved hello and exchanged greets. Mrs Paula Finley, the owner of our town’s finest diner made small talk on my way, and Zeke Daile, my friend since pre-K, nudged me and said happy New Year. Upon entering the bookstore, a cold gust of wind from the air conditioner welcomed me and on the way out was Mrs Hanna Bauer, looking all neat and proper. She always does, she is afterall our dear sheriff’s wife. “Are my eyes deceiving me? Or is Chloe Rhodes buying her school books only at the day before school reopens?” Matthew Jenkins emphasized on the ‘only’ part, and is the only son of Mr and Mrs Mia and Walter Jenkins, whom are close family friends. “Hey, Matt. Not in the mood” “Why you acting all grumpy lately? Is because of what happened with you and Se...” “Don’t even go there!” I screeched making everyone in the bookstore turn their attention from the books to us, Matt mouthed sorry and turned back to me looking all embarrassed. “Matt... Sorry, I just.. I don’t want my world to revolve around him again, even now? That we’re done, it’s still gonna be all about him? I just... I just wanna move on” I blinked rapidly avoiding having to have a dramatic moment at the bookstore. I smiled and pretended I was fine: my best talent. Matt smiled back falling for my act, and asked if I need help, I said no suddenly wanting to be alone, he waved bye and left.

4 “And I thought you said you’ve moved on? See, I know you better” Arianne came out of nowhere, causing me to do a startled little jump and dropped a book I was holding. “Where did you..” “I’m a ninja, but shhh.. Don’t tell anyone” as she winked, making me smile genuinely “Okay, maybe I lied.” “Hmm.. since you’re done with the books, let’s head to the Mall and go find perfect outfits for this year, whaddya say?” “Done? I just got here, but I bet you know that too” Instead of replying, she pointed her index finger –with dazzling yellow nail art on her fingernail- towards a pale pink plastic bag containing the several books I needed. She smiled, arching an eyebrow, waiting for my response. “You can pay me on the way” “Okay, but I’m not ready” pointing out my outfit compared to her red knee-length jeans, and a U.K flag crop-top over a white backless singlet with her blue Converse sneakers. “My New Years gift is waiting for you in the car, already washed by my dear mother” using her ‘trying to be sweet’ voice. But got me curious and excited when she said ‘gift’. “I haven’t asked my mom yet, and you know she doesn’t like it when I just call her over the phone” I argued “I already asked her.” She said casually, inspecting her nails. “Hey, since when are you so ready for everything and in control?” I smiled “Since you’ve been kinda out of self lately, I stepped in your position of control freak. And your throne will be returned once you’re better” Arianne snapped her fingers at her older brother Luke, instructing him to carry the pile of books she bought. I’m guessing he’s driving us, since he’s the one with the car. He graduated a year ago and is now the best mechanic in town, and must admit has a great body. Not that Arianne would ever admit. “Let’s go, Aria” Luke didn’t seem to mind being asked to do things for her, calling her by her nickname which both our families do. Though she’s the spoiled brat of the family, he used to never want to be involved with anything Arianne does, he really did mature over time, “I have to make a quick stop over at the Carson’s” My smile faded, did he just say Carson? Arianne automatically turned her eyes to me, silently asking if I’m alright. I brought back my smile; it’s pretty convincing -even Arianne, who knows me better than anyone, doesn’t know when I’m faking it- and nodded. I recurrently instructed myself on the way to the parking lot, smile. We are just afterall going to make a quick stop over at the home of my recent ex-boyfriend, Seth Carson.

5 Something Special “Hey, that’s cheating!” I squealed while I punched Seth playfully on his left arm. The windows were rolled down, allowing the autumn breeze in the car. It was the last semester break before 8th grade started, and here I was with my boyfriend, trying to defeat him in his Temple Run best record. “You two lovebirds just ring me up when you guys are done, kay?” Joe, his cousin who he begged to give us a lift to the movies, told us. I smiled and said thanks as we got out of his vintage Mustang; Seth’s dad was in the car industry and was able to afford amazing cars. “We could’ve just walked, you know?” I said trying to prove a point “Well, yeah... it’s been a month ever since you... you know, officially became mine. And I wanted this to be special” he explained while putting his left arm around my shoulders; I was always on his left, always. It just seemed to be a thing with him. And he was also always saying these cheesy lines, which I actually love, as long as they’re not too over the top. “You sure? Looks like we kinda inconvenienced your cousin there, he seems like he..” “Look, its fine okay? Most girls would actually appreciate this gesture” Silence created a space between us; I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. I needed to remind myself that it was him who was in charge of this relationship, and it might probably come off as if I didn’t appreciate what he did. I should just be thankful on how lucky I was. “Let’s just buy our tickets. I’m sorry, babe” I apologized, trying to hold his hand “It’s okay, let’s go” he slid his hands in the front pocket of his letter jacket. I knew I wasn’t truly forgiven. He got us tickets for a romantic film starring Katherine Heigl and this other guy whose name I can never remember, the title was something “Life...” blah blah. As the movie reached its momentum, Seth once again slid his left arm around my shoulders: making me forget about the slight misunderstanding awhile ago outside and the freezing cold inside the cinema. I knew this was gonna happen eventually. Seth and I could NEVER stay mad at each other for anything. After the movie ended, something around 4.10 PM –our date started at 2 since I was kind of late, as this was my first date EVER and I just wanted it to be... special, I guess- he took me to our town’s amusement park. We both agreed on walking surprisingly without having to quarrel over it. I felt like a princess: like those Disney princesses you see on TV, and with me is my Prince Charming. And he picks me up with his Mustang for a horse, opens up my door to let me in. Okay, I admit, I am a sucker for love and I’m a hopeless romantic but it’s just the way he makes me feel... special. I mean the way he held my hand all through the walk, how the autumn air blew my frizzy, untamed hair on my face and he pulls it back into place with his soft fingers, it’s just like in the movies. Never actually thought I could ever feel like this. I felt so awkward in some way knowing there are alot of other girls in this town –actually the whole world- who are way better than me in every other way, he’s had probably more than 10 ex-girlfriends in his life and yet he choose someone like me. I stared down at my grey Converse sneakers, skin-tight black jeans and grey and fuchsiastriped, backless top, wondering if I looked okay in this. Seth must’ve noticed “Babe, you look perfect. Pretty as always” he assured me We reached our destination in just 20 minutes, he immediately bought me cotton candy, knowing I’d be dying for one soon enough. I pulled me to several games like the ring-toss, which he likes to boastfully say he’s good at. We snapped some shots in a photo booth just beside the carousel. Screaming kids and teen’s could be heard, obviously enjoying. Seth even won me a SpongeBob stuffed toy from the ring-toss, I have to admit the boy’s got skills; he is afterall in the school’s basketball team. All the more reason for me to feel a tad bit more insecure and comparable, considering I don’t really play any kind of sport: during Phys Ed, I look excited because we don’t have to stay in a boring classroom, and I don’t really participate in any activities our coach, Jenny Hansen, gives us. “Let’s go to the Ferris-wheel” he suddenly announced just as I was dissolving the last bit of my second batch of cotton candy, “you up for it?” “Let’s go”

6

We must’ve been having so much fun, since 2 whole hours have gone by. I checked my Blackberry, expecting to find texts from my mom asking what time I was going to come home. I replied back, telling her I’d be home before 7. And saw the time was exactly 6.28PM. I looked down at the people scurrying around for the games and rides, enjoying myself to the max. Just as the sun was setting: the sky turned to a beautiful orange and pink just over the horizon, Seth held my hand and I turned to face him. His green eyes matched the colour of the sky, making him seem even more prince-esque and I bet my flustered cheeks matched it too. He looked straight into my eyes, like he was silently saying something only both of us could hear in our minds. I love you. It seemed to shout, making me feel the butterflies in my stomach flutter. Then my phone beeped kind of ruining the moment though, I groaned while he smiled, still holding my hand. “You know,” he started “I haven’t given you your birthday present yet, right?” “You don’t have to. You’re not obligated to give me anything” My 13th birthday was just two days ago, Aunt Lily said I was now officially a teenager. “But you do know I do these things for you because I want to, right? It’s not because I need to” he said making me blush harder. He cupped his hand on my face; he brushed a few strands of hair covering my eyes, and stared into my eyes. Just as I was feeling really insecure thinking I should’ve put makeup or something, despite my hate for it. Then it happened. His lips touched mine, resting there for a few seconds, it happened so fast I felt like I was paralyzed. “Belated Happy Birthday, babe. I love you” he greeted as he outlined my lips with his index finger. “T...Thanks. I love you too,” I breathed out, not knowing what to say. I didn’t even realized that our carriage was still for those moments, until Seth waved at the guy in charge of the Ferris-wheel and that’s when I had a feeling, this whole day was planned -knowing Seth, it wouldn’t be shocking actually. Seth thanked the guy as we got down, he must’ve paid him or something. It was almost time for me to go so he insisted on walking me home. Throughout the walk, a smile was plastered on his face the whole time, I tried doing the same, and afterall I got my first kiss. He then confessed it was his as well. As we reached my neighbourhood, I told him he could go since my parents didn’t know about us yet. We hugged, said bye and he left, mouthing ‘I love you’ when he turned back. I smiled, my boyfriend was so sweet. “Aree, is that you?” Mom shouted from the kitchen, probably baking again “Do you want me to make you dinner?” “A little later, Mom, gonna just shower first” I casually walked into my room, containing my happiness, but as I closed my bedroom door behind me I automatically flung onto my bed. Smiling like an idiot, I grabbed a pillow and covered my mouth with it giving a muffled scream. Tonight was really special. I remember my eyes started getting heavier as I thought about what happened. But then a sudden thought came to mind: was there sparks? That unusual feeling I knew crept into my mind when he kissed me, I just ignored it just now. From what remember, clearly I don’t think there was any. Sparks are a sign if he’s the one when a guy kisses you, right? So is he? Is Seth Carson the one for me? “Aree?? Chloe? Hello? Wake up!” Arianne woke me up, we were nearing the Carson’s house, and she wanted me to be conscious when we arrive at Seth’s. I must’ve thought about him while I was sleeping. Guess my life does still revolve around him, “You sure you’re okay with this? We’ll leave as soon as Luke gets the documents” “I’m fine, don’t worry” “I know it’s gonna be hard to move on since we were all bestfriends. He was you’re bestfriend too. And you both had a special connection together” “Maybe”

7

Promises Are Meant To Be Broken Luke made a left turn to Hashford Street. This is it, I thought to myself. The familiar white painted fence and row of rose bushes welcomed us as we entered the driveway. Mrs Carson loves maintaining her precious plants, Seth once mentioned. Cazzy, Seth’s golden retriever ran around the lawn, chasing his tail. I rolled down the window and Cazzy barked in my direction, I smiled; he always loved having me around. Luke parked the car just at the driveway, just adjacent to the front door. I automatically ran out of the car to hug Cazzy, scratching him from behind the ears which he loves. I heard the slamming of the car door, and it sort of brought my senses back. Chloe! You’re visibly in front of your ex-boyfriend’s front lawn. Exposed! The last thing you need is to be seen. I told myself. Before I had a chance to run back into the car, I heard the muffled voice from inside the house. It began to grow louder and clearer, I held my breath, realizing the dreaded front door was open. Time to face the music, I guess. “Chloe Rhodes! Dear, I haven’t seen you in weeks, how are you?” Leila Carson, Seth’s mom, greeted. “Hi, Mrs Carson, I’m doing great,” I lied, “how about you? I heard Mr Carson’s at a business meeting in Tokyo” “Yes, he is. Oh, Seth isn’t here, I think” she suddenly announced as if that was the purpose of our visit. But she doesn’t know about our relationship, Seth and I kept it hidden from our families the whole time. Until our dads found out, that is. “Mrs Carson, uhm, your husband instructed to retrieve certain documents from you today?” Luke interrupted, sounding so business-like. “Oh, yes, he told me as well. Come in!” she stared in the direction of her well-maintained house. But before neither Luke nor I had a chance to reply, Arianne joined in. You never could stop her from entering a conversation uninvited. “Hi, Mrs Carson,” she smiled, which seemingly directed towards me, and I knew she concocted another one of her evil plans, “We’d love to. Would you mind if Chloe changes her clothes inside? Coz we were going to the mall to buy school supplies and such. If it isn’t a bother?” I smiled down at the rubble on the driveway, preventing the dominant urge to strangle her at this very moment. “Sure, why not? You’re very welcome. Oh and Luke, you may follow me to my husband’s office,” she said leading us into her home, and then turned to face us, “Girls. You know your way around, I bet?” We nodded. The smell of lilacs and scented candles filled the air as we entered; a familiar smell I knew all too well. I stopped at the doorway, eyes searching around for any sign of Seth, fearing that he would suddenly come out of nowhere. “Aree, loosen up. Mrs Carson said he’s not here,” Arianne assured me while she held the navy blue shopping bag which contains the ‘gift’ she had for me. “I know, Aria... Just taking precautions” I sighed. “You control-freakness is coming back, that’s a good sign, I think?” She nudged me to the bathroom upstairs; I knew my way perfectly around his house by heart. After the short flight of stairs, I caught a glimpse of their balcony and breathed a sigh of relief: Seth wasn’t there. On usual days, he’d be out there strumming his guitar and not caring about anything else. I remembered the time he tried to teach me how to play the guitar, but I gave up too easily, saying I was hopeless. He just slid his arms around my waist, and whispered, “Babe, you’re not. You are the most amazing girl I’ve ever met, so how can you be hopeless?” which tickled my ears, sending happy chills down my spine. “Oh, really?” I asked, adding a sense of sarcasm. “Look, you are special. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t know why you can’t see that, but you are,” he stared at me in a gentle and fierce, protective way, “And I promise I’ll love you no matter what.” He then kissed my cheek, and I closed my eyes.

8

“Aree?” Arianne called, bringing me back to my consciousness. Too many memories I said to myself let’s just get this over with. I snatched the shopping bag from Aria and hurriedly ran into the bathroom, feeling the tears accumulating. I stared at myself in the egg shaped mirror, hands resting on the sink. Blinking rapidly, I flew my hand to my mouth letting out a muffled sob. It’s been two months, move on. But something about Seth made me feel special, and it wasn’t something I could easily forget. I’ve been with other guys before him but this was different. He was the only guy who I felt like throwing a refrigerator at while wanting to spend the rest of my life with him. I loved him, correction, I still do. As much as it hurts to think about it. I finally wiped the tears away, telling myself to be strong. I began to open the shopping bag, and smiled; Aria always had a great taste in fashion. I got out of the bathroom feeling so much better than before. I called out to Arianne as I was adjusting the zip of the gift she gave me. But no reply. I stared up at her, her eyes were focused on something at the staircase, and I followed her gaze. Oh, shit! A guy in denim jeans and a printed T-shirt, with a basketball in his hand appeared in sight. Auburn hair glowing as sunlight shone in from the balcony, Cazzy trailing behind him. The dark brown eyes stared at me, I looked away, but a little part of me wished the whole world froze. Awkwardness filled the air, defeating the lilacs and scented candles. “Elle,” said Seth, calling me by a nickname only he called me, my limbs weakened. I fought back the feeling of running up to him, locking him in my arms and never letting go. But I knew those days were long gone. “Hey,” I smiled casually, as if we didn’t just break up two months ago. He examined me, as if unsure if I was actually standing in front of him. His gaze started at my beige, leather flats with studded buttons to my knee-length, floral pink dress, with lace as the neckline. To the black, tamed curls, which got out from the bun my hair was just in. He stared in awe. That’s right, look at what you’ve been missing, Arianne’s smile seemed to imply. Then his stare shifted, he must’ve noticed my red eyes during his observation. I started my way down the stairs, as I passed by him the smell of his cologne caught my breath, I took in whatever I can. Arianne held me tight, reminding me not to lose myself. Awkwardness remained for that duration of time, walking away from him now brought me back to two months ago. When I walked away from us. “Elle, I’ve been wanting to talk to you” Seth suddenly said, as we were at the second to the last step of the staircase. Arianne held me tighter as if she was trying to tell me Don’t, Aree, don’t fall for it again. Just don’t. “Uh...About what?” without turning back, I breathed “About us,” Us. Us? There is no us. I felt the urgency in his voice, but remained facing my back at him. “I, uh... well..” I stuttered and looked at Arianne beside me but she just shrugged her shoulders, “We kinda have to get going, since school starts tomorrow and all that” “It won’t take that long,” like the conversation he wants us to have is so urgent like our relationship –or what’s left of it- depends on it. He then added, “I promise” Some kind of force deep inside me, managed to turn around and face him. Something I haven’t been able to do for the past two months, and voiced out what I felt. At that moment, I was sick of having to sit in a corner and cry about myself, like what I’ve always done back when we were together. I never had a chance to tell my side for a change it was always Seth. Seth. Seth. Seth. Yes, my whole world did revolve around him. Now, I was ready for that to come to an end. Let’s get this over with. But as I turned around, and caught sight of his face, every anger or rage I’ve kept inside all this time subsided. One thing’s for sure, I still could never stay mad at him for anything. Maybe now’s not the right time to talk about us, Seth. From my position, the balcony was still in view. The feeling of his arms around my waist, the sound of his voice as he told me he’ll love me no matter what replayed. I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes for a few seconds. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep”

9 Rumour Has It “I cannot, I repeat CANNOT believe you planned that whole thing!” I said wide-eyed at Arianne, after she confessed she knew he was going to come back from basketball practice at that time. “Sorry, Aree,” she said pouting, a look that made her seem so innocent, “I just thought you guys needed to talk. You need it. Maybe you guys need to straighten things out. I didn’t expect you to be the one who’d back away from that convo” “Well, I was going to, but it wasn’t the right time” “Control freak” Arianne coughed. I ignored her and admired the beautiful dress she gave me. Turns out in the car, she left the satin jacket that went along with it. We both looked like shopaholics. And this was a good distraction from Seth. Arianne and I squabbled if we should stay at Starbucks or grab a Big Mac instead. I absolutely wasn’t a fan of Big Mac, it’s because of the lettuce. Yes, I am anti-veggies. I ordered large fries, apple pie and Oreo McFlurry: my usual. Arianne on the other hand, ordered a Big Mac and a Coke. I unlocked my Blackberry and started IM’ing the girls. Guys, where r u? Here at Mc’s . Table number 9, the usual. Shopping spree after. See ya! ;) After sending it to Raven, Margaux, Brianna and Kylie. I slumped down and checked my Chat-In, a social networking website that mostly residence in our town uses. Some people apart from our town heard of it, but it isn’t as popular as Twitter, Facebook, Kik, or Instagram. Though it has the same formats and purposes. Suddenly my phone began to move: I put in on vibrate earlier. It said there Chat-In: One new notification. I changed my phone setting to sound vibration before tapping on the notification. It was a post from Jacqueline Vaughn, a former Calculus seatmate of mine. We bonded over the thing we had in common: we hated the subject. She was peculiarly also the first one who manage to find out about major gossip. And it is also she who could never be trusted with a secret, because she’d tell everyone in Chat-In before anyone could stop her. My signal was low so it still was loading, leaving me slightly impatient. Arianne’s Nokia beeped as well, she clicked it when my phone chimed, this time it said one new text message. It was from Raven. Yes, Chlo. We’ll be there in a few mins, just a U-turn away. Save us a seat, k? D others are here with me, carpooling with Margaux’s mom. Kylie wants u to order her usual for her. -.-yknow how she gets. LOL. See ya in a bit! :* I smiled. Having my girls here altogether with me today, made everything feel better. I’m starting to forget about Seth, slowly and painfully. I happened to look at Arianne, her Big Mac untouched in front of her. That’s strange, normally she could gobble it down in a few seconds after it got to the table, but now she barely even looked at it. I was going to ask her what was wrong when my order was brought to the table. Food! I began placing them in order; drinks on my right and the food in the centre. Yes, I am a control freak. Just then the sounds of bubbling laughter came disrupting the peaceful meal of several customers, I turned to face where the giggles were coming from; it was my girls. I waved them to our direction. And then we all exchanged hugs. After ordering only then did we fiddle with our phones, then I glanced back at Arianne. “Right! I was gonna read a post of Jaq’s before I read your text,” I directed towards Raven, “Lemme finish this first” I ate the last fry left in front of me while the others checked Jacqueline’s post. One by one, silence filled the table each of them giving uneasy stares at their phones. Kylie rubbed her eyes, as if in disbelief to what she just read. What major gossip did Jaq have this time? I thought to myself, I slurped the last sip of my McFlurry and wiped off my mouth with a napkin before I took my phone. “Don’t” Margaux held my hand, a worried look on her face. They all exchanged glances.

10 “What? Why?” I asked, confused. Brianna bit her lower lip while Kylie and Raven exchanged uncomfortable stares. I turned to Arianne, she couldn’t look me in the eye, and she just stared at her half eaten burger. I asked them once again, this time more worried than confused. “Is the post about me?” I felt a slight break of sweat on my forehead, even though I was directly under the AC. “No, but...” Arianne trailed off, and nodded at Margaux, signalling to let me go. I shakily unlocked my Blackberry once more, tapped on the Chat-In app and read what the big news was about. I blinked several times before I took in what was on the screen. I held my breath, probably a little bit too long as I started to feel woozy all of a sudden. How can this be? It’s not possible, it’s only been two months. Not every rumour is accurate. Right? The six words I just read flashed over and over again. Seth Carson has a new girl. It rung in my head. I was too stunned to speak, too stunned to react. I told myself it isn’t true, but Jacqueline was never wrong. Take last year for an example; she posted about Dylan Jones and Nancy Hedridge making out after the school’s annual foundation day. Everyone didn’t believe her, Nancy was practically like a nun, and Dylan... Dylan was a guy a girl like Nancy would never associate with. It turned out to be true in the end, both confessed and ended up being a couple for over a month. Maybe I just had to accept that Seth moved on, so should I.

11 She Seems Nice Walking around the mall, suddenly didn’t seem as fun or therapeutic has I had thought. It’s like I can’t digest the food I just ate –or the news I just found out for that matter- and the continuous silence from my girls made it all the more unbearable. “Maybe there’s a mistake, you never know” Brianna tried cheering me up “Yeah” Kylie echoed I just smiled. That’s all I could do for now, but actually my mind is secretly wondering who that mystery girl of Seth’s is. Does she go to our high school? Is she pretty? Is she into sports? Does she like dogs like Cazzy? Is that amazing for Seth to replace me in just over two months? Maybe those are the questions that could’ve been answered if I agreed to the conversation Seth proposed earlier. But now, these questions had to wait. We entered a shop that had too much purple, of course it was Brianna’s favourite colour. “Really, Bree?” Raven had to ask, asserting her sarcasm. We all knew Brianna had this somewhat obsession with purple things. Or just purple in particular. Probably her underwear was purple as well, the girls like to joke. In Brianna’s case she did have a keen sense of fashion; all of us did. Except, Bree had a little bit too much purple in her wardrobe. “Excuse me, I’d like to buy these” a brunette with shoulder length hair, black contact lenses, black skinny jeans, white sneakers and an adorable shirt asked the girl behind the counter. “She’s a 7” announced Margaux “No, I’d say just a 6...” Kylie protested carelessly as she sipped her Diet Coke “6.5!” Raven included her opinion. They always had this game where they’d rate a person’s taste in fashion. It wasn’t really judgemental or anything, they just did it for fun with no hurt intended. I observed the girl, Hmmm... That sterling-silver charm bracelet of her seemed expensive. And the Guess branded satchel she had, wasn’t out till MidAugust. I was always the first to notice these details, and based on my deduction: this girl was rich. Pretty and as well, and not from Cydille Mane. “OMG!” Arianne whispered, “Its Vanessa Byrnes” she gave us a look as if we were suppose to start squealing with her in delight. Instead we gave her quizzical looks. She sighed and rolled her eyes, and began explaining “Vanessa here is, how shall I put it, Daddy’s girl” Kylie and Bree gave her a ‘so-what?’ look, which Aria just ignored, “Well, her daddy is James Byrnes, the owner of the garage that is merging with Luke’s business. So technically, she’s as rich as we are” “Aria, you mean as rich as you are” I stated, reminding her. She just once again rolled her eyes and sighed. After a short pause she winked at us and walked right up towards Vanessa. They looked like they were instant friends. Arianne gestured us to come closer, we did. As we got closer, her perfume Chanel No.5 seemed to be a little bit too strong but nonetheless smelled good. Individually, Arianne introduced us and once it was my turn something weird happened. I wasn’t sure if my eyes were deceiving me but...Did I just see a ripple in her eyes as she looked at me? It appeared as if she already disliked me, without even knowing me. Was it because I wasn’t rich as her and Arianne? Or was it because Arianne introduced me as her BFF, but she wants to be ‘buddies’ with my soul sister? That ripple in her stare made it look like she was threatened. Of me? Why?

12 Not As Easy As It Looks “Wow, you and Emmett have been together for almost three years now” Margaux squealed. Kylie and Brianna second that remark. If only they knew. “Yeah! I mean like you and Aria are under observation for your college scholarship, super busy 24/7, yet you still manage to keep your relationship going steady” Brianna said “Hey, wait up, Aria... Why are you so quiet about all of this? This is the part where we all fan-girl over ‘ChloEmmett’” Margaux asked while enjoying the couple name she made up, which the whole school now uses as well. Everyone directed their attention to Arianne, who was sitting on a chair in front of Raven’s study desk. Raven was our host for tonight’s sleepover, we alternate houses to hold this to be fair and she could sense something was wrong, she always did. Aria was acting all quiet, so was I anyway. It was the 20th of the month: the girls along with me and Arianne usually have a sleepover on this day, so it was only typical of them to find our silence suspicious. Knowing that Arianne and I usually start talking nonstop and we’d be having fun till the early morning –if there were no classes the next day. Aria gave me her I-can’t-do-this-anymore look “Is there something you guys might wanna share with us?” “I don’t know...” Aria replied, never making eye contact with anyone else in the room “Chloe?” Everyone huddled closer as if the room was too small for 6 fifteen-year old girls at a sleepover. I tried directing my attention to Kylie’s violet silk pyjamas with laces on the hem. “Aree? Hello?” Raven said snapping her fingers to get my attention “Just tell them, it’s not like it can make it any worse” Aria told me, making the girls even more curious than just now “Ohmygod. Did you and Emmett break up?!” wide eyed stares were directed towards me, making me feel uneasy and curious why they’d think that. Was there a give away? Was it obvious something was wrong? “WHUAT?! NO.” Aria and I said in chorus, and stared at each other, reluctant. Arianne seemed to have figured out that I didn’t know how I was going to tell them so she started explaining. “Girls, listen closely. What I am about to tell you is really complicated and you can try to help in any way you can but it must remain in this circle, understand?” The girls nodded, taking this more seriously and concerned than I had thought. Aria glanced at me before she spoke, running her hand through her hair, “Emmett and Aree had a talk the other day, and they hadn’t spoken much since...” “I knew it! The space between you guys these days are so obvious” Kylie interrupted Aria shot her a look, making her imitate zipping her mouth and throwing away the key. And she mouthed sorry. “As I was saying, Em is finding their relationship kind of” Aria looked at me again, trying to find a suitable word to describe it, “hard to cope with ever since Aree is under observation for Burrstone University. They barely have time for each other; she’s always in a middle of a homework or project, she has choir practice in the evening, dance classes after school, has to do housework usually as well like us. And Aree doesn’t really have time to put their relationship at the top of her to-do list, we all know that. I think I gave you guys enough synopsis on this, and Aree will tell you more” Mixed emotions faced me this time, for the first time they were speechless. Aria nodded in support. “I don’t think I can let him suffer like this anymore. I know it’s hard for him, every time at school even if he’s right next to me... I know I make him feel like he doesn’t exist, but I don’t mean to do that. He’s

13 saying how I keep rejecting his invites to go out and date or something; how he expected to spend more time with me this year and all that. I just... can’t prioritize him right now. He held my hand yesterday from across the table and he told me he loves me” feeling unsure whether I should continue as I felt the tears in my eyes about to emerge, “and... and that he understands the situation and he’ll get used to it. But I don’t want him to get used to it, I don’t want him to do this when he’s not happy anymore. I mean afterall, we are gonna end at some point right? After high school, college will be even more challenging for our relationship, and let’s face it... our relationship has a deadline.” I stopped, not believing I actually just said that. Everyone assumes that at some point but no ever really said it. Silence filled the room, and one by one, nods started circling around. “It’s okay with me to pretend like we’ll get through this and this is just a temporary setback but I just can’t stand seeing him miserable because of me. He probably planned that talk to let me do something about it, but there’s nothing I can do to change how this is going.” They all gathered towards me and group-hugged making me cry even more, nothing is sadder than people thinking how sad you are. “You might have to talk it through” Brianna suggested “Or is this a definite break up number 3?” Kylie asked, making Raven nudge her super hard “I seriously don’t want you guys to end, you’re both perfect for each other, like seriously” Margaux, ever so supportive of me and Emmett. “What do you think, Aria?” Kylie asked, and everyone faced Arianne almost in tears as well as we all were. “We love Chloe, and we want what makes her happy, right?” they nodded in reply to Aria, “so what makes you happy?” she said, causing them to face me once more. “I..I don’t know” I said in between sobs, “I’m just... I don’t I wanna fight for this anymore, he can choose to leave if that’s what he want. Or he could stay but have to pretend like we’re still perfect high school sweethearts. But in the end, the whole thing is my fault” “Chloe, how is that your fault?” Kylie asked, I think she was trying to make me feel better. “Uhmm.. guys, no offence but isn’t it like Em is kinda being a little bit selfish in a way?” Raven wondered out loud “Whaddya mean?” they wondered, puzzled “Never mind” cutting her thoughts aside. Aria and her changed the subject, but I felt something that both of them know, and what the others and I don’t. This year is an emotional one to remember; at this point I couldn’t even muster my perfectly fake smile. Whoever said being 15 was easy?

14 Confrontation Never Ends Well The halls of CMH was eerily quiet, Raven was head of the school’s journalism society and given an assignment to fill another two pages for the school’s paper next week. Lucky her. Her Canon DSLR camera hung around her neck with a strap, a present her Dad gave her. One benefit of overseas working dad, she thought to herself. The advantages of being part of the journalism society was skipping certain classes –but never Math or Chemistry-, missing boring school assemblies or announcements, and such. She stopped walking as she forgot to take her small yellow notepad, which has all the work she has to do, in her locker. The student body of CHM was at a general assembly in the gym, which she can luckily skip considering how long it takes for Coach Hansen to compare her women’s Volleyball team to Coach Mason’s men’s Basketball team. Feels kinda sexist, sometimes. On her way to her locker, which was located near the school’s main door, she caught sight of something near her locker. Something which she rather finds kind of repulsive to her recently, she tried not to make contact and just get on with what she’s doing. She opened her locker hoping she wasn’t seen, but her invisibility didn’t work, it spoke to her “Hi, Raven!” it sounded somewhat cheerful , Raven wanted to just use her ignoring skills but even if her dad was a thousand miles away, he taught her how to be polite “Hi...Emmett” she hesitated, sounding as if she forgot his name, but actually she was trying to sound disgusted, “aren’t you supposed to be at the gym” trying to get rid of him before she says something offensive “Too boring. Heh, you don’t look too innocent yourself” Emmett said jokingly. Raven just pointed to her camera, avoiding trying to have a conversation with him. She found her yellow notepad in between her Physics and Math books, she slammed her locker shut and starting walking away. She didn’t want to talk to him so she just waved bye, face turned away from him. After ten steps, she thought she was home free. Or so she thought. “Ray, wait up!” he called, running towards her “What?!” she didn’t care about being polite anymore, she thought about running away but she didn’t want to waste all her energy for him. “Jeez, what’s wrong?” “What’s wrong? Wow. Are you really that dense? I’m busy okay?” “Okay... I get that, but...” “You get that? Really? Why can’t I believe that?” increasing her volume, it’s like someone turned on her inner microphone. “What is going on here?” “Oh, I’ll tell you what’s going on! Its al...” “Raven! He’s not worth it” a voice made Raven stop abruptly, both her and Emmett turned to face Arianne standing in between the laboratory and the staircase to the elective classes, opposite of them. “Not worth what?” Emmett asked, sounding totally confused “Wow, you are so clueless” Raven said out loud “Wait, is this about Chloe?” he arched his eyebrow questioningly “Ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!” Raven rolled her eyes, trying to be as sarcastic as she can “What else is this about, Em? You think it’s easy for Chloe, like this is paradise for her? Waking up before dawn, making sure everything is set. Then the hectic schedules, the pressure she has to put up with, and then you?” Aria confronted “I know that!” “Well you clearly don’t know enough!” Aria minimized her voice, straightening her composure, “Aree loves you, but she has a life that doesn’t just revolve around you. She.. You both have your whole lives ahead of you, it’s just that Chloe is doing a better job in making her life useful” “What is that supposed to mean? You don’t think I’m useful? I give her everything she wants!”

15 “NO, you don’t! You give her things that YOU think she wants, all those material things. She doesn’t want you to spend your cash on her; all she needs from you is support, understanding and trust” “I trust her and I give her all those too!” Emmett said furiously “If that is what you do, then why is your relationship falling apart, huh?” Emmett remained quiet, Aria pushed it and she pushed even harder, “You make it all revolve around you, the last thing she needs is for someone to control her again. You’re just her boyfriend, okay? Not her father, not her brother, not her boss and NOT her husband. And sometimes I feel like you treat for show only. We’re all still turning 16, if you have problems about her not going out with you..” Arianne trailed off to catch her breath, she didn’t stop, and she was on a roll. While Emmett remained speechless, “Like I said, she has a life. In a few years from now when her life is in order then you guys can date, travel, fuck, fight or whatever, I wouldn’t care! But you’re too naive to actually figure this out. Or even try to grasp the reality of it. This isn’t a fairytale or Hollywood, all this is as real as it gets” “You’re right, this isn’t a fairytale. Isn’t that why Jason is cheating on you with Sasha Briggs?” Emmett dropped it just like that, Aria’s turn to taste reality since even she isn’t perfect, he thought to himself. Aria lips snapped shut, wide-eyed. Raven, who was watching the whole debacle, managed her mouth to form a perfect O. “Oh, c’mon Aria, don’t tell me you still haven’t figured it out. Since you’re so good connecting the dots and all. I mean isn’t that why you went out of the assembly ‘cause you noticed he wasn’t there?” “Emmett, stop it! You’re such an ass, you know” heads turned to my direction this time. I noticed Aria leave the gym and followed after her, lying about having stomach cramps, and overheard the whole thing but was too stunned to stop it beforehand. Part of me wanted to know what Emmett would say, and I now realize he isn’t the guy I thought I knew afterall. “Babe, you’re taking her side over me? Classic, I should’ve known” he let out a heavy, exasperated sigh. “I’m not taking any sides!” I said putting my hands up in the air, like surrendering. I never wanted to make him feel that way. “Then why are you consoling her now, instead of me? I’m your boyfriend.” His last word echoed in my mind. Boyfriend. That is just all he really was at this moment; just another title, because now I’m finally unravelling the truth and maybe everything in my life is just for show. Now, everything Aria had told him awhile ago started making sense. I mean, I knew I had poor vision that’s why they teased me as blind, but maybe in relationships I really am. But I knew deep inside the Emmett I love is still in there somewhere, desperately trying to get my attention in the wrong ways. “I don’t know you anymore” I finally said, what has been in my mind for the past couple months. “What? Me?” he let out a sarcastic chuckle, “You don’t know me anymore? Take a step back for a second and see if you’ve even tried to notice me every since you had that fucking opportunity to go to Burrstone U” “Well, at least I have something better to do!” I saw the hurt in his eyes, and I knew I shouldn’t have done that “Oh, okay, so this is it now? You’re underestimating me? I’m not good enough for you anymore?” “Emmett...that’s.. not what I meant” I said, trying to explain, looking back from Aria to him. “Bullshit!” he cursed, turning his back away from me. He ran out of the double doors of our school, leaving me tears, just as the student body dispersed from the gym.

16 Sudden Twist Running towards the girl’s toilet, ignoring the fact that people are staring as I made my way. I kept my eyes down, guiding me along the way like that, the last thing I needed is sympathy votes from everyone who would be dying for major gossip. I bumped onto something, or someone with worn-out jeans, and red sneaks. My eyes travelled to his –or her, but the physique seemed to be a man- eyes. Oh, shit. “Chloe? Are you okay?” Seth asked in a tone which sounded like he was worried or even concerned. Yeah... right! “You don’t have to pretend you care, and you don’t have to talk to me” looking away, I didn’t want him to see me like this. Scenes like this between us occurred so many times, I’ve lost count. He blinked several times, taken aback. I just ran away again, the easiest way to do anything. Run. In the girl’s toilet, Marjorie Rivera and Hayley Adams were busy figuring out some guy’s name who they thought was cute to even notice me. It was only then when I slammed myself shut inside the last cubicle did they start saying sympathetic lines. I didn’t have any conflict with those two, or anybody else in this school, but at that point I just wanted them to disappear. Like my whole day started with my digital alarm clock waking me up at 5AM, taking Lucky for a walk, eating breakfast then a bath, got ready for school, went to the assembly and forced Aria to stay inside the gym with me; so that the fight awhile ago would never had happened. The knocking and talking stopped after a few seconds, I let out a sigh of relief while trying to take a break from all the tears. God, I am such a horrible person. I figured the coast was clear and decided to come out and fix myself before my elective class started. Ugh, I have to pass by that hall. I pushed back the lock in the cubicle, and to my surprise my girls were right there waiting for me. I’m guessing Raven and Aria must’ve already told them about the whole thing. They have always been with me throughout everything, why wouldn’t they be here for me now? A small smile managed to make it through the tears, and instincts told me to turn to Arianne, but I totally forgot why. Then it hit me, I hugged her as tight as I could. “Aria, I’m so sorry about Jason. Are you alright?” I said. “Aree... There’s something you should know” said Aria, switching glances from Raven all the way to the others. Margaux, Brianna and Kylie They all eyed the toilet door, as of someone were to enter on cue. Faint sound of heavy footsteps could be heard approaching us closer. I was ready to take cover once again in the cubicle just in case someone was coming. “If anyone ever finds out about this, my whole high school reputation will be at its end” Jason appeared. Curiosity struck me, followed by anger after I just recalled what he did to my bestfriend. I stepped forward ready to attack. “You ass! How could you cheat on Arianne?! You guys are all the same...” I felt a grip –it actually seemed like several hands were pulling me back- it was the girls. I stared at them quizzically, didn’t Aria or Raven tell them about the whole thing? Why aren’t they attacking the person who cheated on Aria? Was I missing something? “Honey, calm down... And listen to us, okay?” Aria said in her soothing voice, I felt a headache coming on. What’s going on? “Chloe,” she hesitated, eyeing everyone in the girl’s toilet and remained staring at uncomfortable Jason –who was looking around hoping no one would enter- for awhile before turning back to face me. “Jason...isn’t cheating on me. We made all that up.” Huh? But.. I’m pretty sure I heard during her and Emmett’s confrontation correctly: Jason was cheating on Aria with Sasha Briggs, right? I was too stunned to reply, so I let her continue talking. “Jason has also noticed how Em seems different...” “Like what different?” I managed to ask

17 “Like, he changed. And in our opinion, he’s been acting like a jerk lately. When you told all of the girls during our sleepover about the what you and Emmett talked about, we had our own discussion” she eyed the girls again, meaning they were all probably involved in this, now she started to sound like a Commander in the Marines or something “We decided to join forces, and we tried in every way to get Em to talk to anyone of us if he has anything going on, but nothing so far. So we had to come up with this despicable plan. Everything you’ve heard out there... we anticipated it, we knew you’d come after me and you’d overhear everything. Jason just wanted his old BFF back and we just wanted you to know the truth” “Don’t call it ‘BFF’ for us guys it’s ‘Bro’” Jason corrected. Aria just rolled her eyes, looking back at me. At that sheer moment, I was totally paralyzed. They used this against me, against my own will, against what I want and they didn’t even ask for my say in this. I started walking out of the toilet slowly, it seemed more like trudging in my case. “Chloe! Aren’t you gonna say anything?” Aria called out I didn’t feel like myself, as if my body was taken over by some unknown entity. Like a vague dream, which I was hoping was, and now I just wanted to wake up. Margaux whispered something about why I wasn’t satisfied since they helped me, but Brianna shushed her. For unknown reasons, I felt a slight bit of strength in me. “Ha. You think you guys fixed everything? This is it? The end? Move on?!” Puzzled expression filled their faces except for Arianne. She knew what I meant. “I said things I shouldn’t have said to my boyfriend. Once again proving, I am always the messed up one in the relationship. I’m the bitch of it!” tears came filling up again. “Emmett said things he shouldn’t have said either” Aria justified “I thought you were my bestfriends...I trusted you” “We are. Okay, we’re sorry we interfered too much, but we just wanted this nightmare of yours to end” “Look around, it didn’t turn into a dream! All you’ve ended is probably my relationship. So, what? Mission accomplished?” “Aree, we’re trying to make you understand the situation” “Then keep trying since I really don’t understand at all! And it’s my problem, so who better to understand this situation than me?” Raven tried to say something but thought otherwise. Good choice, don’t try to interfere even here I thought in my mind. Arianne told them to give me some time to think things through and that I wasn’t really in the right state of mind to be confronted with right now. “Why am I such a failure?” I said bursting into tears more than just now. I immediately turned to run away, my life has too many script changes my head began to hurt. My hands cupped my head hoping it’d reduce the pain, and soon I felt numb. “Chloe? Aree??” the girls called out I felt my head beginning to spin, my eyelids grew heavier each second, and all I heard was the drowning voices of my bestfriends and everything flipped in a 180 degree angle. Soon, everything turned black.

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