Top Ten Tips

In this article, I'm revealing six powerful secret psychological tricks that you can use to increase the effectiveness of your advertising and marketing. What if you don't sell anything? Should you ignore this information? You ARE selling something. Whether you are a Real Estate agent selling multi-million dollar homes, or a worker trying to sell your boss on the idea that you are a valuable employee, everybody is selling something. So it would be wise to learn these secret tricks and use them to achieve your own personal success. The secret psychological tricks that I am going to reveal are not really secret. They have been used by shrewed salesman for millenium. Their existence was revealed back in 1984 by Dr. Robert Cialdini in his book "Influence : The Psychology of Persuasion". You will recognize these tricks being used everywhere in advertising today. Now you will be able to put them to use to enhance your own personal success. Psychological Selling Trick Number 1: Reciprocity Reciprocity works like this: you give someone something of value for free. That individual feels an obligation to return the favor. Reciprocity is a very powerful principle. To use reciprocity as a marketing tool, you give people something of value for free, they reciprocate by purchasing your product or service. But you would be surprised how many advertisers totally blow it. Either they don't understand the concept of "free", or they don't have total faith in the principle of reciprocity. For example, consider the offer "get a free camera when you subscribe to our magazine for two years." That's not free. Or, "free installation with a one year commitment." That's not free. The customer is paying with an obligation. No sale. Consider the offer,"receive the latest issue of our magazine absolutely free. No bill will be sent." If the prospective customer finds the magazine to be of value, they feel an obligation to subscribe. Or, "one month of free Internet service. No credit card required." If the Internet service performs well, the prospective customer feels an obligation to sign up. The trick is to create something that has high perceived value to a prospective customer, but costs you little or nothing to produce. Free information is a good example. Here again many advertisers totally blow it. The free information turns out to be nothing more than blatant advertising. Free samples of your product or service is another good example. Again, many businesses blow it. They either produce a cheaper version of their product to use as free samples, or they use the free sample campaign as a means to dump reject product.

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The largest Internet Service Provider is well known for giving away hundreds of hours of service for free. No credit card required. The largest cookie company is famous for giving away free cookies. Reciprocity is a very powerful marketing strategy. Psychological Selling Trick Number 2: Scarcity Scarcity works like this: There is a limited amount of the item available. After those are gone, the item will not be available. "urgency" implies Scarcity. For example, "this offer will be honored only for a limited time". The effectiveness of the scarcity principle is well demonstrated by the large segment of the population involved in pursuing antiques, collectibles, and memorabilia simply because these items are scarce. Scarcity is often contrived, as when a company produces a "limited edition". For example, when Disney releases a limit edition of one of its classic stories - yes, limited to a production of more copies than they could ever possibly sell - then it goes in the "vault". And how fortunate we'll be a few years from now when they decide to do us the favor of taking it back out of the vault. Note: Manufactured items, especially DVDs and CD-ROMs, cannot be "scarce". It's a simple matter to put the manufacturing dies back into production. All scarcities of manufactured items are contrived. One popular incarnation of scarcity is the "going out of business sale". Customers somehow don't pick up on the fact that the mark-downs are not that great, or that the store has new merchandise coming in the back door to take advantage of the increase in traffic. Scarcity is a very powerful marketing tool. There are many ways to contrive scarcity. You can create a limited edition, or for items like information products, scarcity can exist in the form of urgency by creating a limited time offer. Psychological Selling Trick Number 3: Commitment Commitment involves getting a prospective customer to take a tiny step towards a goal. For example, you might get them to request free information, or fill out a survey. When the prospective customer takes that first step, they have made a commitment, however tentative, towards the goal you have set out for them. They are likely to take another step. One example of this process is the "two step" method used in mail order. When a mail order marketer runs an advertisement, they don't even try to sell the product. Instead, the advertisement offers free information. A prospective customer makes that first commitment towards purchasing the product by requesting the free information. The free information they receive is designed to entice them to take the next step.

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Another example of using commitment as a marketing tool is a survey. By checking a few boxes and answering a few questions, a prospective customer takes that first step towards a commitment. The result they receive from the survey is designed to entice them to take the next step. Yet another example of using commitment as a marketing tool is a lottery. For example, people enter their name and address on a ticket for a chance to win a new car. A salesman uses that information to contact them. By entering their name and address on the lottery ticket, the individual has made a commitment to own that new car. The most common example of the principle of commitment are those long-winded full page advertisements in magazines. The prospective customer invests a great deal of time reading through the entire advertisement. That investment of time represents a commitment. They are likely to take the next step, responding to the advertisement. To use the psychological power of commitment in your advertising, don't try to sell your product or service in your ad. Instead, use a survey, contest, or free information to get a prospective customer to make that first step towards a commitment to purchase your product. Psychological Selling Trick Number 4: Consensus Consensus involves getting prospective customers to believe that "everybody's doing it". Everybody is just waiting in line to purchase your product. Everybody can't be wrong, so the product must be fantastic! Of course you're smart enough to know that everybody CAN be wrong. Everybody thought that SUVs were safe vehicles (they roll over). Everybody thought Enron was a great investment (it went bankrupt). Everybody thought Iraq had weapons of mass destruction (well maybe not everybody). You're an independent thinker. Here are some examples of headlines using the consensus principle: "It's the new sensation crossing the country", "People are signing up in droves", "People just can't get enough of them", "Record sales", "Unbelievable response!" and "Join millions of smart consumers". Combine this with a stock photograph of a large group of people, a long line of people, or a crowd of people, and you have a powerful consensus message. Note: Many people don't think they're having fun unless they're in a large, noisy crowd. Unfortunately, every large crowd contains a few lunatics. When things go wrong, the crowd stampedes and people get hurt, or killed. When I see a large crowd, I head the other way. Fortuately, most people are not independent thinkers. They act like a herd of cattle. Use the consensus principle in your advertising, and people, like lemmings headed for the sea, will come in waves to buy your product. Psychological Selling Trick Number 5: Authority 3

Authority involves getting prospective customers to believe that someone who is knowledgeable or famous uses your product or service. If a knowledgeable or famous person uses your product, then it must be fantastic! The bigger the authority, the more powerful the advertising message will be. For example, doctors are authorities. "Most doctors prescribe Tylenol for arthritis pain". Large organizations are authorities. "The National Heart Association says - Quaker oatmeal is good for your heart." The Federal Government is an authority. "The U.S. Food and Drug Administration says whole wheat bread is part of a complete diet". If only we could think of a way to use God as an authority! Here's how to use the principle of authority in advertising: search the Internet for any references to your product or service. Find an article that alludes to your product being of value. For example, let's say you sell black T-shirts. You find an article by the U.S. Department of Agriculture that says "bees are attracted to bright colored clothing". Your copy: "The U.S. Department of Agriculture that says my T-shirts protect you from attack by stinging insects." Most advertising using the authority principle is taken out of context and exaggerated. Some advertising uses totally fake authorities. "My dog biscuits are recommended by the International Association of Dog Nutritionists" (an organization I started last week). Some advertising uses a "study" as an authority. "A recent study found that my lemonade tastes better than any other brand" (my mother liked it better). I don't recommend that you use a fake organization, a fake study, or take information out of context or exaggerate, but if you can locate a legitimate authority or study related in any way to your product and quote it without exaggeration, you will have a powerful authority message. Psychological Selling Trick Number 6: Greed Greed involves taking advantage of many peoples belief that there is a secret short cut to wealth. They believe that wealthy people didn't earn their wealth, instead they know a "secret". Note: I am not recommending that you use the principle of greed because it is used by unethical scammers. I'm simply informing you of it's existence in order to make this series of articles complete. The simplest method of using the principle of greed is the chain letter. You have no doubt received a chain letter at some point. A chain letter contains a chart specifying the massive amounts of money the recipient will get when they follow the instructions. The first instruction is to send money. The multi-level or network marketing scheme works similar to a chain letter. The prospective recruit gets a chart showing the massive amounts of money they will receive when they join the network. After parting with their money, the victim is instructed to con their friends and relatives into joining. 4

Another method of using the principle of greed is the lottery or casino. The odds of winning most lotteries are about the same whether you buy a ticket or not. A casino allocates only a tiny portion of it's customers money to winnings in order to create the illusion that the odds of winning are good. Many people don't understand statistics. In their mind, the phrase "win a million dollars" translates into "get a million dollars". Another example of the principle of greed is the business opportunity scam. We know it works because successful scammers invest millions to run business opportunity infomercials, and they make hundreds of millions in profits. They prey on people who believe there is a secret short cut to wealth. The scammers think people who fall for their scam are stupid, lazy, and greedy, so they deserve to get ripped off. The way to use the principle of greed is to contrive a "secret plan". Run an ad describing how the plan requires absolutely no work to make massive amounts of money. Include a few bogus testimonials and a legitimate looking chart that shows the massive amount of money the plan will bring. Some scammers include pictures of fake checks or fake bank statements. Never divulge any details of the plan in the ad. The prospective customer is required to send money to get the plan. The typical plan instructs the purchaser to run the same scam. The principle of greed is very powerful. People who have been ripped of by this scam a thousand times before will, like hypnotized zombies, send you their money. They think THIS TIME they will receive the REAL secret plan.

How to Influence Others and Get Them to do What you Want
By Ehsan Honary - Wednesday, May 16, 2007 1206 Views :: 1 Comments :: :: Psychology, Diplomacy There always comes a time when you want to influence others. You may need to use a variety of psychological tactics depending on the situation and the person you are dealing with. In this article, a number of scenarios are presented and for each a course of action is suggested along with Risk strategy example. Remember, what matters is always the end game. If you want someone to do something for you, you need to keep focusing on the outcome. You need to make it easier for the other person to make the right choice, the choice that you desire. Here are a number of scenarios and solutions to help you get what you want. Scenario: You want to make a task look easier than what it is. For example, suppose in Risk, you want to convince a player that it is not really a big deal to invade somebody else's continent. He thinks this is a huge and risky task. How would you persuade him? Solution: Divide the task into a few blocks of activity. Then describe each block as a simple task and show that by following a number of simple steps you can progress to the goal. How does this work? Consider when you are enthusiastic about something. You think of it in general blocks. You don't necessarily think of all the little tedious steps you have to take to get the job done. Because you are enthusiastic, you focus on the goal. You can artificially create the same feeling in someone else, by dividing the task into bigger 5

blocks and show him how easy it is to carry them out. Scenario: You want to make a task look more difficult than it is. For example, your Risk opponent wants to conquer a continent. What would you say to stop him? Solution: As explained above, you can divide the task into lots of little steps. The sheer number of steps may prohibit him from taking the action. Imagine when a task looks boring to you. Every little step in that task becomes a huge issue, simply because you can't be bothered to do it. Create the same feeling in someone else and they wont do it either. As an example, here is the Risk strategy. You may say, "If you want to conquer Europe, first you need to prepare lots of armies for the invasion. At least twice the size of armies you want to destroy. Then, you have to think how you can distribute them on the borders, so you can protect the whole continent from counter-attacks. Meanwhile, you also have to reinforce your original borders, so that no one takes advantage of your new vulnerability. Even when you have got Europe in control, there is no guarantee that all other players wont start attacking you as you have become more powerful. This means you should carry on making defensive moves for quite a while." As you can see, getting Europe suddenly sounds a lot harder than it was before. Scenario: How would you get someone to quickly decide on their actions? Solution: Take their options away from them. Humans like to make perfect choices. The more choices there are, the more time they have to spend on the problem and the more undecided they will get. This is a common issue when designing Artificial Intelligence (AI) as well. Computers are good at number crunching and can quickly end up with vast number of options that they need to select a solution from. To help them, AI designers usually use a simple trick. They reduce the search space artificially. Even though the reduction is artificial and may remove some of the good solutions, it is still better than having all the possible options. The AI can perform much more efficiently in a smaller search space than in a larger one. Similarly, take away some of the options humans may have, and they will end up deciding much faster. Of course another popular technique is to give someone a deadline. Combine deadlines with limited options and you will get very quick reactions, "You can either say yes or no, and you have only 2 minutes to decide!" Scenario: You have carried out all the hard work to convince a player to make a deal with you. However, he is hesitating. It's as if he is undecided. Perhaps he needs a bit of help to get out of his dilemma. If you want him to make a deal with you, what would you do to push him to the finish line and make the handshake? Solution: Give him an incentive. Giving a freebie at the right time can be an incredibly effective tool in tilting the negotiation towards you. Always put yourself in your opponents' position and see how can you help them to make a decision that is most appealing to you. Scenario: You want to get someone to listen to you. Would you tell him how much better off he will be if he listens to you? What if he doesn't care about it? What if he doesn't trust you, or thinks that you must be up to something. 6

Solution: There are generally two ways to go about this:
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You can tell him about the gains he may get by listening to you. For example, you might tell him that I promise I will not attack you, or that if you cooperate with me I will be on your side. Alternatively, you can focus your argument on what he may not get as a result of listening to you. For example, in Risk, you can tell him that by spreading too quickly he may end up weak and vulnerable. Or that if he doesn't cooperate, he only makes the situation more difficult for himself as you will not help him.

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Research shows that the second method is much more effective. By focusing on the negative aspects of the decisions and losses, you may stand to gain more than if you tell someone what you can do for them instead. Scenario: Suppose you want to persuade someone to do something for you. Would you just ask them, or even force them to do it? Solution: It is well-known that if you limit someone's options to a point that they are forced to follow your advice, they may completely give up on you. Just to show you that they are not bullied, they may choose to do the opposite for the hell of it. This is known as reactance. Basically hard selling is bad. Anyone who has ever tried to sell something knows that if you go too far in selling something by adopting forceful tactics, the customer gets extremely annoyed and will not deal with you any more even on other products) just as a matter of principle. As a result you have to let them know up front that the decision is theirs. You are here only to assist them in reaching that decision by providing facts and pros and cons on both sides of the argument. They can then make the decision themselves. Of course if you want to influence their decision, you would need to bias the pros and cons so that heir decision leads to your preferred choice.

-The navigation can't become worse than this. 1. To seem like a team player at work ... Put up a picture of your dog (or even a friend’s pup) in your workspace. When people look at shots of a pet dog, they not only tend to presume you’re loyal, but they may also act more loyal toward you. But don’t paper your cube with canines. Research shows that too many personal shots make others perceive you as a less professional worker. 2. To appear more powerful in the office hierarchy ... Wear a chic all-black outfit to work, and don’t smile as often as you’re inclined. You’ll be seen as assertive and directed. Studies have found that people in black uniforms (like sports teams) are viewed as more dominant figures, while the act of keeping a neutral face is associated with higher status and power in a work environment. 3. To bond with the boss ... Offer to get her a hot cup of coffee — even if you’re not her assistant — and chat her up as she’s drinking it. 7

A recent study showed that just by holding the high-temp liquid, she’ll implicitly assume you’re an emtionally warm person — someone very likeable. Just don’t hand her an iced latte or you could trigger a frosty reception. 4. To have "the talk" without making your partner flip out ... Take him to a restaurant that has soft feminine colors and furniture with few angular lines. Researchers think that simply being in this kind of an environment can influence a person to behave in a more feminine way in terms of communicating. That means that he’ll be more likely to be open and disclose his true feelings to you. 5. To make your crush fall for you on a dinner date ... Subtly touch the back of his hand as you’re reaching across the table for bread. It’s a proven way to win someone’s affection: Libraries and car dealerships have higher customer-satisfaction ratings when workers imperceptibly touch their clients. Touch activates the human desire to bond. 6. To seem more alluring when you meet a guy ... Talk about a beach vacation you took using sensual terms (e.g., “The sun felt so fabulously warm against my skin”) to paint a mental picture about the climate. According to psychologists, this seductive I-feel-likeI’m there speech will make him associate your personality with the lush sensations you’re describing. 7. To impress a guy’s parents the first time you meet them ... Casually praise someone whom you’re certain his mom or dad holds in high esteem, such as a political figure, author, or celebrity. Experts say that as you talk about their hero in a positive light, your targets start to think about all the qualities they admire in that person. And because they’re looking at you, they’ll subconsciously link you with that person’s positive traits. 8. To make a friend out of an acquaintance ... Start mirroring her behavioral tics, like touching your hair when she touches hers. We like to see ourselves in other people. Researchers at New York University found that when you’re sitting across from someone who’s unconsciously shaking his foot, if you start moving yours in a similar but unobtrusive way, then the person feels more positive toward you. 9. Your slob roomie to clean up after herself more often ... Spray a bit of liquid all-purpose cleaner in the air right before she enters the skanky spot in question. A Dutch study recently proved that the faint smell of a cleaning product will spur people to start picking up the area around them. You can also prime her by squirting a little fluid in the bathroom sink before she goes in to use it.
Top Ten Tips: Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others, especially people we've just met. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and interest in what they have to say. Here in the UK we tend to keep eye contact around 60-70% of the time. (However, there are wide cultural differences, so be careful in other countries) By doing this you won't make the other people feel self conscious, like they've got a bit of vegetable stuck between their teeth or a dew drop hanging from the nose. . Instead, it will give them a feeling of comfort and genuine warmth in your company, any more eye contact than this and you can be too intense, any less and you give off a signal that you are lacking interest in them or their conversation. Posture is the next thing to master, get your posture right and you'll automatically start feeling better, as it makes you feel good almost instantly. Next time you notice you're feeling a bit down, take a look at how your standing or sitting. Chances are you'll be slouched over with your shoulders drooping down and inward. This collapses the chest and inhibits good breathing, which in turn can help make you feel nervous or uncomfortable. Head position is a great one to play around with, with yourself and others. When you want to feel confident and self assured keep your head level both horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and what you're saying to be taken seriously. Conversely, when you want to be friendly and in the listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just a

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little to one side or other. You can shift the tilt from left to right at different points in the conversation. Arms give away the clues as to how open and receptive we are to everyone we meet and interact with, so keep your arms out to the side of your body or behind your back. This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes your way and you meet things "full frontal". In general terms the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms with big movements. The quieter you are the less you move your arms away from your body. So, try to strike a natural balance and keep your arm movements midway. When you want to come across in the best possible light, crossing the arms is a no, no in front of others. Obviously if someone says something that gets your goat, then by all means show your disapproval by crossing them ! Legs are the furthest point away from the brain, consequently they're the hardest bits of our bodies to consciously control. They tend move around a lot more than normal when we are nervous, stressed or being deceptive. So best to keep them as still as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings. Be careful too in the way you cross your legs. Do you cross at the knees, ankles or bring your leg up to rest on the knee of the other? This is more a question of comfort than anything else. Just be aware that the last position mentioned is known as the "Figure Four" and is generally perceived as the most defensive leg cross, especially if it happens as someone tells a you something that might be of a slightly dubious nature, or moments after. (As always, look for a sequence) Angle of the body in relation to others gives an indication of our attitudes and feelings towards them. We angle toward people we find attractive, friendly and interesting and angle ourselves away from those we don't, it's that simple! Angles includes leaning in or away from people, as we often just tilt from the pelvis and lean sideways to someone to share a bit of conversation. For example, we are not in complete control of our angle at the cinema because of the seating nor at a concert when we stand shoulder to shoulder and are packed in like sardines. In these situations we tend to lean over towards the other person. Hand gestures are so numerous it's hard to give a brief guide but here goes. Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. Palm down gestures are generally seen as dominant, emphasizing and possibly aggressive, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. This palm up, palm down is very important when it comes to handshaking and where appropriate we suggest you always offer a handshake upright and vertical, which should convey equality. Distance from others is crucial if you want to give off the right signals. Stand too close and you'll be marked as "Pushy" or "In your face". Stand or sit too far away and you'll be "Keeping your distance" or "Stand offish". Neither are what we want, so observe if in a group situation how close are all the other people to each other. Also notice if you move closer to someone and they back away, you're probably just a tiny bit too much in their personal space, their comfort zone. "You've overstepped the mark" and should pull back a little. Ears, yes your ears play a vital role in communication with others, even though general terms most people can't move them much, if at all. However, you've got two ears and only one mouth, so try to use them in that order. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced a conversation without being me, me, me or the wallflower. Mouth movements can give away all sorts of clues. We purse our lips and sometimes twist them to the side when we're thinking. Another occasion we might use this movement is to hold back an angry comment we don't wish to reveal. Nevertheless, it will probably be spotted by other people and although they may not know the comment, they will get a feeling you were not to pleased. There are also different types of smiles and each gives off a corresponding feeling to its recipient which we'll cover next time.

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Continuing from the previous post 6 reasons to improve your body language, here is just a few of many pointers on how to improve your body language. Improving your body language can make a big difference in your people skills, attractiveness and general mood. There is no specific advice on how to use your body language. What you do might be interpreted in several ways, depending on the setting and who you are talking to. You’ll probably want to use your body language differently when talking to your boss compared to when you talk to a girl/guy you’re interested in. These are some common interpretations of body language and often more effective ways to communicate with your body. First, to change your body language you must be aware of your body language. Notice how you sit, how you stand, how you use you hands and legs, what you do while talking to someone. You might want to practice in front of a mirror. Yeah, it might seem silly but no one is watching you. This will give you good feedback on how you look to other people and give you an opportunity to practise a bit before going out into the world. Another tip is to close your eyes and visualize how you would stand and sit to feel confident, open and relaxed or whatever you want to communicate. See yourself move like that version of yourself. Then try it out. You might also want observe friends, role models, movie stars or other people you think has good body language. Observe what they do and you don’t. Take bits and pieces you like from different people. Try using what you can learn from them. Some of these tips might seem like you are faking something. But fake it til you make it is a useful way to learn something new. And remember, feelings work backwards too. If you smile a bit more you will feel happier. If you sit up straight you will feel more energetic and in control. If you slow down your movements you’ll feel calmer. Your feelings will actually reinforce your new behaviours and feelings of weirdness will dissipate. In the beginning easy it’s to exaggerate your body language. You might sit with your legs almost ridiculously far apart or sit up straight in a tense pose all the time. That’s ok. And people aren’t looking as much as you think, they are worrying about their own problems. Just play around a bit, practice and monitor yourself to find a comfortable balance. 1. Don’t cross your arms or legs – You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open. 2. Have eye contact, but don’t stare – If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eyecontact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it. 3. Don’t be afraid to take up some space – Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin. 4. Relax your shoulders – When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly. 10

5. Nod when they are talking – nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker. 6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight – but in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner. 7. Lean, but not too much – If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant. 8. Smile and laugh – lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere. 9. Don’t touch your face – it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation. 10. Keep you head up - Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon. 11. Slow down a bit – this goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don’t snap you’re neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead. 12. Don’t fidget – try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly. You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your movements. 13. Use your hands more confidently – instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say. Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. And don’t let your hands flail around, use them with some control. 14. Lower your drink – don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead. 15. Realise where you spine ends – many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned for better posture. 16. Don’t stand too close –one of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it. 17. Mirror - Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a good connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously. That means that you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit of proactive mirroring. If he leans forward, you might lean 11

forward. If she holds her hands on her thighs, you might do the same. But don’t react instantly and don’t mirror every change in body language. Then weirdness will ensue. 18. Keep a good attitude – last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference. For information on how make yourself feel better read 10 ways to change how you feel and for relaxation try A very simple way to feel relaxed for 24 hours. You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days looking at your feet. And if you try and change to many things at once it might become confusing and feel overwhelming. Take a couple of these body language bits to work on every day for three to four weeks. By then they should have developed into new habits and something you’ll do without even thinking about it. If not, keep on until it sticks. Then take another couple of things you’d like to change and work on them. Reading her Body Language Well who cares whether she is interested in you or not? You will soon get her interested in you! But why not have fun along the way? Watch her body reveal her thoughts as she moves from indifference towards affection. Here are some of the most obvious things you could be looking for! Her lips:
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Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face. Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth. She wets her lips, some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip, while others run the tongue around the entire lip area. She puts her fingernail between her teeth. She protrudes her lips and thrust her breasts forward.

Her eyes:
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She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated. She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, this is often combined with a smile and some eye contact. She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance. While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes. Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile indicates interest in you.

Her hair:
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She pushes her fingers through her hair. This can be one hand movement or more of a stroking motion. She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you. She is throwing her hair back off her shoulders.

Her clothing: 12

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If she is wearing clothes that show her nipples underneath and you notice they are getting perky and erect. The hem goes up to expose a little more leg. She is fixing, patting or smoothing her outfit to make herself look better.

While she is seated:
• • • • • • •

She moves in time to the music, with her eyes on you. She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm. She is sitting with her legs open. She sits with her legs crossed in a manner to reveal her thigh. Her legs are rubbing against each other. Her legs are rubbing against the leg of the table. Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you.

Her hands:
• • • • • • • • •

She exposes the palms of her hand facing you. While talking to you, she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up. She rubs her wrists up and down. She sits with one hand touching one of her breasts. She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way She is fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other things on the table. She plays with her jewellery, especially with stroking and pulling motions. She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you (in case you already haven't started yourself, dumbass). She is pretending to look at her watch as you pass her.

Her voice
• • • •

She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours. She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours. She laughs in unison with you. In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.

Micellaneous:
• • • • • •

She mirrors your body language and body positions. Her skin tone becomes red while being around you. She blows smoke straight out from between her lips and toward you. She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear, just like in junior high school. She is standing with her head cocked slightly at an angle, one foot behind the other, hips slightly thrust forward. At a party - every once in a while she seems to appear out of nowhere in your vicinity and if you move to another spot, soon she appears out of nowhere again, you catch her glancing in your general direction (actually, glancing at YOU dummy!:), she bumps into you. accidentally, touches you. accidentally etc:) 13

When talking to a girl, these are some of the more important signs to watch for:
• • •

Can you keep conversation going with her? Does she react well to Does she touch you? Does she laugh?

Well if the answers to most or all of these questions is "YES" you really don't need further guidance. do you?

Body language tips for job interviews
Waving hands or twitching face muscles might not be the first things you think about when preparing for a job interview, but with body language counting for a large part of how people perceive us, actions really do speak louder than words. According to Michael Kelly of Kelly Speech Communications, any gesture or mannerism we use to express a non-verbal message can be considered body language. Chin jutting, shoulder shrugging, arm-swinging, head tilting, even eye blinking - they all fit the profile. Body language is used to express our conscious or subconscious thoughts, and can be as subtle as a sidewards glance - or as obvious as a slap in the face. So how can you fine-tune your body language for success? Before your next job interview, ask a friend to identify any potentially distracting habits you may have such as playing with your hair or drumming your fingers. You may be surprised to learn about behaviour you weren’t aware of. Next, stage a mock job interview with a friend and video it. “Viewing your body language as other people do is a valuable experience,” says Kelly. “But if you want to gain more self-awareness, an intense questioning session with a friend is useful for noting any negative body language that occurs under pressure, such as foot-bouncing or lip-biting.” And if that’s not enough to give you an air of self-assurance, Kelly says that observing confident people and modelling their open, friendly and accepting cues can also help you create a winning perception. Additionally, learning by example increases the likelihood that your actions will be read as you intend them to be, and decreases your risk of sending mixed messages. When it comes to the job interview itself, Kelly recommends creating instant rapport with the interviewer by being sensitive to their body position or pose, and adapting your movements, breathing patterns and expressions accordingly. But if you find yourself forgetting your words, concentrate more on yourself. Maintaining good eye contact will also help impart trust and understanding: a steady gaze that conveys alertness, interest and confidence, without too little or too much focus, is a great choice. Bear in mind that swaying, fiddling, and face touching can all threaten job interview success, so place one hand on your waist and gesture with the other to control any nervousness. And keep your spare hand free, as playing with unneeded pens or papers will only betray your jitters. 14

Finally, the perfect handshake, like most body language, is all about finding a happy medium that you’re comfortable with. “A cool hand, firm grasp, two palm-to-palm pumps and good eye contact will create just the right impression,” says Kelly.

Body language for interviews
So you're not drunk and you've made the effort to polish your shoes. Good effort. Your manner and your dress sense certainly say a lot about you, but your body could still let you down. So sit up straight, and let TheSite help you send out the right signals.

An equal handshake
This is a tough one to call when greeting someone for the first time, but if you can mirror their grip it avoids any dominant/submissive vibes.

Relax into your chair
The way you sit conveys a lot of subtle information to the people on the other side of the desk. So don't take the seat like it's Old Sparky, instead use a moment to get comfortable. If you look relaxed, it'll encourage your interviewer/s to feel at ease in your company. Just be careful not to take it to extremes, and kick back like you're at home on the sofa. Flipping the chair round and straddling it is also perhaps just a little too cocksure.

Maintain eye contact
Keep it true and steady, but remember to blink. To avoid that staring-like-a-serialkiller mistake, form a mental triangle on your interviewer's forehead and make sure that your gaze doesn't drop below eye level. Any further south and things start to get a bit intimate, an interest in their mouth may persuade them to think you're hitting on them.

Steer your body
Crossing your legs loosely is fine if it makes you feel happier, especially if you're wearing a skirt, but if you can 'point' at the interviewer with your knees or your feet it shows you're focused right in on them.

Use your hands
If you can be physically expressive as you speak it shows a certain confidence in the stuff you're saying. Use your hands to roll out your answers or give shape to your ideas, and at the very least your interviewer will think you know what you're talking about. 15

Body Language
Sending Signals Without Words
Body language is extremely important in an interviewing situation. Some would argue that it is just as important as what you say and what is on your resume. Why? Because we can learn quite a bit about people from their non-verbal actions. This is one of the ways that an interviewer tries to size you up as a candidate. When we are in stressful or uncomfortable situations, many of us have habits that can be distracting to other people. Certainly biting ones nails or fidgeting with ones hands could be distracting from what you are trying to say. These are examples of body language that can be harmful in an interviewing situation. Used correctly, however, body language can reinforce what you are saying and give greater impact to your statements. The following are tips to help you give the right non-verbal clues.
• • • • •

The Greeting Facial Signals The Hands Feet Seven Signals for Success

The Greeting
Giving a "dead fish" handshake will not advance one's candidacy: neither will the opposite extreme, the iron-man bonecrusher grip. You only one chance to make a first impression. Remember many interviewers have made their decision within the first few minuites. The ideal handshake starts before the meeting actually occurs. Creating the right impression with the handshake is a three-step process. Be sure that: 1. Your hands are clean and adequately manicured. 2. Your hands are warm and reasonably free of perspiration. (There are a number of ways to ensure this, including washing hands in warm water at the interview site, holding one's hand close to the cheek for a few seconds, and even applying a little talcum powder.) If your hands sweat a lot, try to inconspicuously wipe them against the seat cushion upon rising to shake hands. 3. The handshake itself is executed professionally and politely, with a firm grip and a warm smile. Remember that if you initiate the handshake, you may send the message that you have a desire to dominate the interview; this is not a good impression to leave with one's potential boss. Better to wait a moment and allow the interviewer to initiate the shake. (If for any reason you find yourself initiating the handshake, do not pull back; if you do, you will appear indecisive. Instead, make the best of it, smile confidently, and make good eye contact.) Use only one hand. Shake three times and then drop. Don't keep shaking! Be sure you put your hand all the way into their hand; do not give a wimpy fingertip hand shake. Be sure to smile and make eye contact when you are shaking someone's hand. EVERYBODY LOOKS BETTER WHEN THEY SMILE! 16

Facial Signals
Most good interviewers will make an effort to establish and maintain eye contact. Make sure that you do not find yourself looking down or away. If you wear glasses, be sure to buy the non-glare lenses (even though they cost more). Do not stare. Rapidly nodding your head can leave the impression that you are impatient and too eager to add something to the conversation -- if only the interviewer would let you. Slower nodding, on the other hand, emphasizes interest, shows that you are validating the comments of your interviewer, and subtly encourages him to continue. Tilting the head slightly, when combined with eye contact and a natural smile, demonstrates friendliness and approachability. The tilt should be momentary and not exaggerated, almost like a bob of the head to one side. (Do not overuse this technique.) Your smile is one of the most powerful positive body signals in your arsenal. Everybody looks better when they smile. Offer an unforced, confident smile as frequently as opportunity and circumstances dictate. Avoid at all costs the technique that some applicants use: grinning idiotically for the length of the interview, no matter what. This will only communicate that you are either insincere or not quite on the right track. It's worth remembering that the mouth provides a seemingly limitless supply of opportunities to convey weakness. This may be done by touching the mouth frequently (and typically, unconsciously); "faking" a cough when confused with a difficult question; and/or gnawing on one's lips absentmindedly. Employing any of these "insincerity signs" when you are asked about say, why you lost your last job, will confirm or instill suspicions about your honestly and effectiveness.

The Hands
As we have seen, a confident and positive handshake breaks the ice and gets the interview moving in the right direction. Proper use of the hands throughout the rest of the interview will help to convey an aboveboard, "nothing-to-hide" message. Watch out for hands and fingers that take on a life of their own, fidgeting with objects such as pens, paper, or your hair. Pen tapping or drumming of fingers is interpreted as the action of an impatient person; this is an example of an otherwise trivial habit that can take on immense significance in an interview situation. (Rarely will an interviewer ask you to stop doing something annoying; instead, he'll simply make a mental note that you are an annoying person, and congratulate himself for picking this up before making the mistake of hiring you.) Don't crack your knuckles!!!

The Feet
Some foot signals can have negative connotations. Women and men wearing slip-on shoes should beware of dangling the loose shoe from the toes; this can be quite distracting and, as it is a gesture often used to signal physical attraction, it has no place in a job interview.

The Seven Signals for Success
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So far we have focused primarily on the pitfalls to avoid; but what messages should be sent, and how? Here are seven general suggestions on good body language for the interview. 1. Walk slowly, deliberately, and tall upon entering the room. 2. On greeting the interviewer, give (and, hopefully, receive) a friendly "eyebrow flash": that brief, slight raising of the brows that calls attention to the face, encourages eye contact, and (when accompanied by a natural smile) sends the strong positive signal that the interview has gotten off to a good start. 3. Use mirroring techniques. In other words, make an effort -- subtly! -- to reproduce the positive signals your interviewer sends. (Of course, you should never mirror negative body signals.) Say the interviewer leans forward to make a point; a few moments later, you lean forward slightly in order to hear better. Say the interviewer leans back and laughs; you "laugh beneath" the interviewer's laughter, taking care not to overwhelm your interviewer by using an inappropriate volume level. This technique may seem contrived at first, but you will learn that it is far from that, if only you experiment a little. 4. Maintain a naturally alert head position; keep your head up and your eyes front at all times. 5. Remember to avert your gaze from time to time so as to avoid the impression that you are staring; when you do so, look confidently and calmly to the right or left; never look down. 6. Do not hurry any movement. 7. Relax with every breath.

Ever been on a date where you get the feeling you're invisible? It's the feeling you get watching your partner check
out every man or woman walking by. It could have been subtle, but you may have noticed anyway. If the lack of interest is obvious, leave. Why invest time and effort in something that isn't going to pan out? Our everyday interactions are filled with non-verbal signs -- also known as body language. And, in the world of dating, understanding this communication can be a huge asset. Alan D'Souza, a 22-year old psychology major from Pune, relies heavily on these 'vibes'. "If she leans in while having a conversation, you know you're doing something right," he says. "I tend to look at my date and what she does with her hands. This is because the part of the brain that controls the motor skills of your hands is right next to the portion that controls your speech." To help those who do not have Alan's insights, here's what you should watch out for. Reading the senses They say your eyes are windows to your soul. Sounds like a clich�, but it may be true, at least on a date. You can look into your date's eyes and read if they show interest in you, or if they betray a sign that your date is praying for a natural calamity to get out of the situation. Gaurish Korgaonkar, a 25-year old marketing executive based in Mumbai, relies on eye contact. "Of course, someone who is shy will need a little prodding and take time to relax. Once relaxed, however, constant eye contact is vital." Restless eyes are not promising -- the kind that constantly scan surroundings and fail to settle on you. On the other hand, a touch on the arm is a big leap forward -- a sign that your date is comfortable with you. Alan believes that any kind of touch communicates interest. She could be running her hands through her hair, for instance, in a way that says she wants to look appealing and make a good impression. Jaya Bodke, a 28-year old who works at a bank in Mumbai, finds this behaviour common in men as well as women. Men like to draw attention by adjusting their clothing, thus drawing attention to their bodies.

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A smile can say a lot Next to eye contact, a smile is the most important non-verbal sign we send out or receive on a date. It is our reaction to any pleasurable stimuli and is a no-brainer. A blank face or forced smile in response to your jokes is discouraging. It can make you feel like a performer whose act has fallen flat and is now afraid to step under the spotlight. Silence isn't always golden Pregnant pauses could have two meanings. They are good if combined with a lot of eye contact and smiles. They are bad if your date is constantly fidgeting or keen on finishing dinner and making a run for it. If your attempts at conversation are met with monosyllables, you could be headed for disaster. Jaya believes interest can be judged by participation. A lazy response could mean your personalities don't match. A lively conversation usually involves a lot of emphasising through gestures and facial expressions. In a tearing hurry? Compared to the other signs, this is more subtle. According to Shubham Saraf, 26, who works in Mumbai's hospitality industry, a date's reluctance to leave is one of the most positive signs. Even taking your time to order means you want to prolong your time together. Making impromptu plans to extend your time is also encouraging. Observe and learn While these are some of the signs commonly sent out and interpreted, there are many others that come into play, depending on the situation and persons involved. Moreover, while on a first date, it is unlikely that the two of you will hit it off instantly. You need to give it some time and not let a sign or two discourage you. Alan recollects a date where things were headed downhill. "It was clear we had nothing in common; she kept staring at everything but me," he says. "That is until we began talking about our friends. We soon realised that, although we had no common hobbies, we had similar personalities. As the evening progressed, she started looking me in the eye, smiling, leaning in and using her hands to gesture." A little effort and things certainly clicked for them -- she called Alan the next day! While all these signs are insightful and offer an excellent advantage, exercise caution when drawing your conclusions. Arms crossed over one's chest could be an attempt to warm oneself, rather than a gesture of defensiveness or discomfort. All theories on non-verbal communication clearly advise against using just one sign to judge. Remember to take into account the external environment and other influential factors. However, don't forget to relax and enjoy your time together. The rest will take care of itself. Can you read dating body language? Share your experiences

nterested in learning how to read body language? Would you like to be able to tell when people are lying and understand people's intentions? This article will provide you with the top 10 tips for reading body language. I feel Body Language is the most important language you can learn. It bypasses the verbal communication barriers and gives you an insight into what others might be thinking, or what actions they are likely to take.

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Remember that the art of being able to read body language is to be able to look at some one, pick up the signals, and at the same time not let on to that person you are doing this. If you do the person will become uncomfortable. Tip 1. - Eyes Dilated pupils - the person is interested in the topic. People say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. They can tell so much information about the person if you know what you are looking for. As in most situations, the same signal can be interpreted in a different way. It depends entirely on the circumstances at hand. The example above could also mean that the person is on drugs, or it could mean that they are focused. Tip 2. - Hands Open palm.- the person is relaxed and comfortable. The hands have many expressions and are a good place to start when learning how to read body language. Generally when some ones hands are open it means that their defenses are relaxed. Tip 3 - Mimicking When you are talking to someone, if they are mimicking your body position and action it means that they are comfortable in the situation and most likely interested by you and what you are saying. Tip 4 - Eyes If someone's eyes are gazing to the side it is a trait that they are feeling guilty. Likewise if they are gazing down this express's shame. Remember the eyes have so many meanings and it's easy to make the wrong evaluation. Practice makes perfect. Tip 5 - Arms The main two expressions with arms is that they are either closed (folded) or open. When folded the person is possibly angry or disapproving. When their arms are open the person is in an honest position and is accepting of the situation. Tip 6 - Rubbing of the Chin If someone is rubbing their chin it generally means that they are thinking. Tip 7 - Feet When you are in conversation with someone you can tell if they are comfortable and interested by what you are saying by their feet position. When standing opposite one 20

another the other persons feet are facing in your direction. This means that they are comfortable and their head and eyes will also be focused on you. When standing opposite someone their feet are pointing away and their head and eyes are not focused on you. They will most likely be nodding and agreeing with a fake smile. This means that the person n question is not interested and might even feel uncomfortable in the situation. Tip 8 - Legs When stood up Legs are a good indicator of how confident someone is. If someone is standing with their legs shoulder width apart they are relaxed. If they are standing with a stance wider than that they are a confident and are in a grounded position to show they are in control. When stood up with legs crossed the person is probably shy. When sitting down if the legs are crossed it shows the person is in protective mode. This is very much used alongside crossed arm action. If the legs are open when the person is seated then they are in a relaxed position. The same as when standing. Tip 9 - Fingers Fingers can create many gestures and are great for reading body language. A pointing finger can either be someone pointing to a item or place, it can also indicate anger. If someone is curling their fingers tightly they are usually pleading for some thing. Drumming or tapping with the fingers indicates frustration. The faster the beating, the greater the frustration and tension inside the person. Tip 10 - Eyebrows The eyebrows have many uses. Listed below are some examples. When the eye brows are raised, normally the person is shocked or surprised. The greater the surprise the more raised they will be. When someone flicks their eye brow up and down quickly they are greeting someone else or are showing they have acknowledged them. I hope you have enjoyed learning how to read body language tips. Remember reading body language is not a skill that can be learned over night. The more you practice the easier it will become and the more subtle you will be able to do it.

eading the Signs (of Flirting & Body Language)

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If you’re on a first date and you’re trying to figure out what Mr. or Ms. Potentially Right thinks about you, look downward. Not there, silly. “The key to a man’s heart isn’t his stomach. It’s his feet,” says Lisa Daily, author of “Stop Getting Dumped!” (Subtitle: “All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love With You and Marry ‘The One’ in 3 Years or Less.”) As it turns out, the foot rule also applies to women. “Watch the feet of the person you’re attracted to,” she tips AdamandDrew.com. “People who are attracted to each other subconsciously try to ‘line up’ with the other person. Where the toes point, the heart follows.” When you take the Sherlock Holmes approach to reading your date, trying to sleuth out whether he/she thinks you’re hot (or not), body language is the smoking gun, my dear Watson. “Even if we’ve got our game faces on, the body doesn’t lie,” Daily says. In fact, studies reveal that only 7% of our communication is verbal, according to Mari Smith, a relationship coach based in San Diego, California. The other 93% is nonverbal.

Tips & Clues
Men send out the following tips when they’re interested in you, according to Daily and Smith:
• • • • • •

Smiling. Extended eye contact. Grooming behaviors (straightening their ties, pulling up their socks). Upright stance or posture. Standing with their chests thrust outward and shoulders back (think of a giant preening peacock). Ego-driven comments about their successes in life (jobs, cash, their cars).

“He may have one hand in his pocket, with his thumb sticking out, or tuck his thumbs in his belt,” Smith adds. As for the so-called “fairer” sex, look for the following nonverbal cues from a woman:
• • • • • •

Extended eye contact and smiling (just like men). Leaning inward or toward you. Exposing her neck, hands or palms. Flipping her hair (with her hands or a twist of the head) or twirling it playfully. Crossing and uncrossing her legs. Fondling cylindrical objects like the stem of a wine glass, straw, pen or cigarette. (Paging Dr. Freud…) 22

“Houston, We Have a Problem”
“For both sexes, there are also signs that things are not going well,” says Daily, who notes that distasteful dates, traumatic breakups and consequent crisis periods often call for “a few Nora Ephron movies and two tubes of frozen cookie dough eaten right out of the package.”
• • •

Look for speech patterns that are wildly out of sync. “He’s a slow talker, while she’s a thousandwords-a-minute,” she says. Defensive body language—arms crossed in front of the chest or hands subconsciously protecting the groin area. Someone who keeps looking over your shoulder while you speak.

“When someone is not interested in you, they will typically point their body and feet away from you and position themselves at a greater distance,” Smith adds. Saying Goodnight…or Saying Goodbye? As your date winds down, other cues foreshadow your relationship’s future. “If you give your date a hug on the doorstep and he or she pats you on the back, it’s a sign of discomfort,” Daily says. “The more uncomfortable your date feels, the bigger the pat. The other obvious, not-so-great sign is going in for the doorstep kiss—and getting a handshake instead.” (Ouch!) Positive signals are much easier to read: a concrete invitation for a second date, with firm plans—not just “let’s do this again” or “I’ll call you sometime,” Daily says.

The Flirt Factor
Flirting with your date—and being on the receiving end—meets Sherlock’s criteria for irrefutable evidence that your lovely evening may evolve into a bona fide relationship. Daily takes it one step further, asserting that flirting is “absolutely necessary.” “Flirting is how we communicate our interest—and how we connect emotionally before we connect physically,” she says. “Generally, flirting is harmless, but it can sometimes be interpreted incorrectly by the ‘flirtee.’ The key is to pay attention to the tone of the flirtation and wait to see how the flirter responds if you try to take it up a notch. If she backs down, she was probably just flirting for fun. If she escalates the flirting in turn, she’s communicating interest.” “Use attitude, voice and body synchronization to make others feel like they have a special rapport with you,” advises Nicholas Boothman, a communication specialist and author of “ How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less.” He encourages those he counsels to learn to “access—and rev up—your sex appeal, without going over the top.” Translation? Create chemistry by mirroring your partner’s physical presence and verbal behavior. “ When you synchronize your overall body language, your tone, the speed and volume of your voice, and even the type of words you use—as well as your attitude— people feel safe, familiar and trusting with you,” he tells AdamandDrew.com. Smith believes women have the edge—and a lot more fun—when it comes to flirting. (Sorry, guys…) “Playful, lighthearted behavior is really the domain of women,” she says, “and typically men love it and gravitate toward the woman who looks the most fun. It 23

certainly pays to familiarize yourself with all of the signs of attraction so you know how and when to communicate interest—and make sure you’re sending the right message!” When picking up women, the most important part of the pick-up is conversation. However, did you know that 90% of all conversation is conducted by body language? It’s true; the way we hold and present our bodies can give more messages then a regular chit-chat. People can subconsciously pick up if you are depressed, angry, happy, tired, alert, or any other emotion you can think of. So what does this mean for you? It means you are about to change the game with my top 5 body language tips! 1. Posture- Not many folks know this, but your spine doesn’t actually end at your back, it ends at your skull. So from now on, walk with a straight posture with your head tilted up a little, and your shoulders held back. This says wonders about your confidence, and that is a huge turn-on for women. 2. Open- Never cross your legs or your arms. Crossing of the limbs means you are a closed perso n, and that’s what people will subconsciously pick up if they see you as such. 3. Take up space- Always spread out. If you’re lounging on a couch, take up as much room as possible. If you’re at a bar, don’t be afraid to kick your leg up on a chairs peg next to you. 4. Eye Contact- This is one of the most important tricks that anyone can use. Always look people in the eyes. This says that you are a confident person, and you’re not afraid of interaction. 5. Slow Down- Don’t jerk! Always make your movements slow, calculated, and smooth, never be in a hurry. When attracting women, body language can make or break you. If you use these 5 quick-tips next time your out, I guarantee you will see an almost instant in the amount of women you can successfully attract. Remember, the number one-thing to do is to just have fun. If you get too caught up in the things you read, it becomes more of a job then something you enjoy. Women may not tell you how they feel, but you can still decode their inner thoughts and feelings anytime by skillfully interpreting female body language signals. With this ability, you won’t have to guess whether they’re enjoying your company or not. And you can decide right from the start whether you’ll continue to pursue the relationship. Here are 4 body language tips to help you determine her level of attraction to you. Tip # 1 on Interpreting Female Body Language - Observe What She Does To Her Hair. If she starts caressing or combing her hair when you look at her, she’s trying to impress you or look more attractive in your presence. If she tosses her hair to reveal more of her skin, then there’s a big chance that she fancies you. Tip # 2 on Interpreting Female Body Language - Watch Her Finger’s Actions. If she starts fondling her face, neck, shoulder, chest, arm, thigh or leg in your presence, she’s seducing you to take more notice of her. She’s interested in you and wants you to make your next move. Tip # 3 on Interpreting Female Body Language - Pay Attention To Her Body Position. 24

If she’s leaning towards you, then she’s attracted to you. If her shoulders and knees are pointing towards you, then that’s an even better body language sign. She’s mesmerized by you. However, beware when she’s leaning away from you. That means she’s trying to evade you and is a clear sign of disinterest. If she crosses her arms, she’s putting herself in a defensive stance and wants to stay as far away from you as possible. Tip # 4 on Interpreting Female Body Language - Keep An Eye On Any Seductive Movements. Is she subtly revealing her chest, thighs or legs to you? Even better, is she stroking them? Is she always wearing sexy outfit that exposes more of her skin when she’s with you? Is she dangling one shoe with her feet while in a crossed leg position? Watch for these seductive body language signs. She’s conveying her attraction to you and enticing you to make your move. Interpreting female body language signals is very simple and easy. What she does with her hair and fingers, as well as her body position, can easily reveal her inner emotions. Take a cue from her actions and notice if she’s trying to captivate you. Use these body language tips in your girl-hunting pursuits and have a gre
Communicating effectively means more than knowing what to say and when to say it. Communication involves the subtle signals your body language sends to those listening. Here are some common body actions and the impressions they create: • • • • • • • • • Fiddling – Playing with your watch or a pen looks like you’re bored or impatient Clock watching – It looks like you’re anxious to move on to something else. Tapping – Tapping your foot or fingers suggests you are impatient or nervous. Staring – An unblinking stare conveys aggression Legs crossed or body hunched – Closing up your body profile —becoming smaller— looks like you lack confidence. Arms crossed – If you keep your arms folded during communication, you appear to be defending yourself against the others. Touching your face - When you have your hand in front of your mouth, you appear timid. Rubbing your nose, looking away - People who are lying often rub their nose or look away when speaking. No eye contact - If you won’t look the other speaker in the eye, you seem to have low interest or a lack of confidence. (Don’t forget staring. above.)

How you

say things in communication is just as important as what you say. Watch your body language and control the unconscious message you might be sending.

Body Language Tips When Meeting New People
October 30, 2007 in Body Language, Bonding, Confidence Tags: Body Language, Confidence, eye contact, handshake, meeting The first step in attracting others into your social circle is being more open. Both mentally more open minded and physically more accessible. 25

Though verbal skills are important, non-verbal cues are just as important in determining your success. If these cues are words then they form the most important language of all. This language does have regional dialects, yet knows no national boundaries, spanning the worlds continents it is known by everyone whether they are consciously aware of it or not. I’m sure you have guessed what this magical tool of communication is by now. This is simply, not what you say but how your physical body acts. Here is a list of simple, but highly effective habits you should acquire, and use whenever you are introduced to someone new.
•

Make eye contact. Use the ‘social gaze’, focus on the areas created by an imaginary triangle
formed by a persons eyes and nose. Don’t stare at their forehead, feet or boobs.

• •

Smile. No Grinning or Pouting. Just smiling. Initiate the handshake. How you shake hands is very important when you meet someone. For a
start it establishes the power balance of the relationship, subconsciously adding to the judgement the other person makes of you. Don’t put froward a limp hand or cut off their blood supply. Hold your hand out straight, not tilted sideways at an angle. Grip firmly and pump once or twice. Adjust their tilt during the handshake so both your and their hands are held horizontal. You don’t want to come off as being dominant or submissive, which is indicated by the tilt of the hand, but equal. (the hand with the palm facing down is the more dominant whereas if the palm is tilting upwards, it is more of a submissive gesture)

•

Touch their elbow gently, for three seconds, whilst shaking their hand. No more than 3 seconds
though. Maintaining eye contact and smiling throughout. As you do this repeat their name aloud ‘nice to meet you Jessica’. This will make the person feel important and valued. You will remember their name as you have time to identify their face with the name, making that all important link in your mind. Touching directly on the elbow is important, as touching below or above the elbow will not yield the same positive results, but instead be taken as an invasion of privacy, whereas the elbow is considered a more public place.

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If these steps are implemented properly, then your impact on someone you meet for the first time will be great. You will instantly stand out from the crowd, and as a result people will be eager to continue their interaction with you. Which is essential in developing your relationship with that person. Your cool, calm and confident attitude will make the other person feel at ease and comfortable in your presence. This is important, as their state of mind at the time of meeting you and how you made them feel will be linked to you. This feeling will be remembered when they think of you afterwards. Here is the four-step process summarised for you to internalise. It won’t take long before it all comes automatically.
• • • •

Eye Contact Smile Initiate Greeting Touch/Name Repeat.

Learning to concisely control your body movements not only means your more focused on creating a positive overall impression, but by learning to adopt a confident posture you will be received as that which you set out to project. A confident person. Simultaneously your internal feelings of confidence will be boosted for two reasons. Primarily as that pre-existing link that your body has between feeling confident and projecting it will be reaffirmed. Both the feeling and projection of confidence rebound off of each other. That’s to say forcefully adopting positive body language, makes you more confident, illustrating how mental processes of the mind are interconnected with the movements of the physical body. Secondly your confidence will be boosted as you notice people react to your presence differently. You are not a stuffed duck now but a social butterfly!

Three essential body language tips
One Minute Pause No 33 When teaching presentation skills at Natural Training we tend not to prioritise body language. People can get obsessed by trying to look convincing or slick, and neglect the content of their presentation. They perform all the textbook hand gestures, and what comes out of their mouths doesn’t match up. The audience is confused, often in their subconscious “I didn’t trust that guy, but I’m not quite sure why”. However, sometimes we do give advice on body language for presenting. This is mainly when there are aspects of a presenter’s body language that serve to distract the audience from the main message. Here are the 3 biggest body language presentation pitfalls, and what you can do to avoid them:

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1. Eye contact Sharing eye contact around the room is one of the best presentation delivery skills you can have. Meeting people’s eyes is crucial for maintaining audience interest. As an audience member we feel that you are actually talking to us - rather than talking to the PowerPoint screen or to the table. So, what prevents you from maintaining eye contact with everyone? Well one of the reasons could be the Sympathy Nodder - the only person in the room who is nodding and paying you attention. When you’re presenting you usually gravitate towards attention and recognition. Even if you suspect someone is sympathy nodding, you probably don’t care. You will choose the Sympathy Nodder over the guy making a pen pyramid any day. So you direct your attention almost solely to that one person. This means that you have alienated the audience in favour of the Sympathy Nodder, who is probably concentrating more on nodding than listening. In the name of research from the audience side, try the Sympathy Nod Experiment during your next boardroom presentation. Look the presenter dead in the eye and nod a couple of times. Repeat about 5 times per minute, or whenever they look at you. You will undoubtedly find the presenter draw their attention towards you, almost as if you are the only person in the room. A cruel experiment perhaps, but one which will prove to you that as a presenter you must resist the one person who seems to be giving you the attention and maximise your eye contact with everyone. 2. Hand position One of the greatest problems you might have is knowing what to do with your hands. Quite strange really given that you never have to worry what to do with your hands when you are chatting to friends. Suddenly they become a big issue when presenting. You have two options. You can spend thousands getting personal coaching and practicing 20+ hand gestures, such as the ‘chop’, the ‘opera singer’ or the ’sweep’, until they seem natural. Or you can hold a pen, with one or two hands. This sounds very simple, but it does the job, keeping your hands steady, professional and relaxed. With the money you save on personal coaching, you can buy yourself a better pen. 3. Stance There have been many books written on stance and posture. Most of them are of little use. The best thing to remember is to stand with your feet pointed towards the audience. This solves a very big presentation skills problem, which is turning your back on the audience - such as when you are reading off PowerPoint. If you keep your feet pointed towards the audience then when you turn to the wall you be naturally inclined to return to your audience-facing position. I think they are the big 3. If you think I’ve missed the point, or have any delivery tips that you would like to share, please add a comment or two to this OMP on the blog. Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others, especially people we’ve just met. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and interest in what they have to say. By doing this you won’t make the other people feel self conscious, like they’ve got a bit of vegetable stuck between their teeth or a dew drop hanging from the nose. . Instead, it will give them a feeling of comfort and genuine warmth in your company. Posture is the next thing to master, get your posture right and you’ll automatically start feeling better, as it makes you feel good almost instantly. Head position is a great one to play around with, with yourself and others. When you want to feel confident 28

and self assured keep your head level both horizontally and vertically. Hand gestures are so numerous it’s hard to give a brief guide but here goes. Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. Palm down gestures are generally seen as dominant, emphasizing and possibly aggressive, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. i believe these tips will help you in some way or other..................

How to Attract Others With Body Language
Let your body do the talking. Attract and dazzle all kinds of new people with this quick guide to better body language. Positive body language is all about how you make others feel. The most "attractive" people in the room know how to make everyone else feel attractive and interesting. Their secret? They use plenty of reinforcement behaviors that say "I hear you, I like you, I know what you mean." Translated into body language, it means a liberal use of nods, gestures, eye contact and, most important of all, a good warm smile. The field of kinesics (the scientific study of body movements) tells us that no single movement has a precise meaning. If your new acquaintance crosses his or her arms, it doesn't necessarily mean they dislike you -- it may just mean the room is cold! Instead, body language centers around clusters of gestures and expressions. These patterns of movement can be most revealing, and show our true inner feelings. Use the lists below to detect body language patterns in yourself and others. Positive Body Language How to say "I like you" -- and how to tell if they're interested in you. • Direct eye contact (no staring) • Warm, open smile (teeth revealed) • Nodding • Head tilted • Open, inclusive gestures (palms showing) • Fully facing others • Leaning forward • Upright but relaxed posture • Firm handshake • Double hand clasp handshake • Feet firmly planted • Chin up • Sitting forward Negative Body Language Are you guilty of these sins? Avoid them and people will respond more positively to you. • • • • • • • • • • • • • Eye contact not met Tight or no smile Down and away glances Not fully facing, at an angle Leaning away Hunched shoulders Too-stiff posture Weak handshake Chin into chest Arms crossed Legs crossed Body sagging Legs outstretched while seated 29

• Eyebrow flash upon greeting • Touching another's arm or shoulder • Winking (used with discretion) • Tightened abdomen, sticking out chest • Mirroring another's gestures and body stance • "Accidently" brushing another's hand • Scanning the face with eyes (don't go below chin) • Preening behavior: straightening tie, fixing hair, adjusting skirt, wetting lips • Blocking behavior (to keep others away from the two of you) • Pupils dilated (hard to detect, but usually a sign of attraction)

• Absentminded gazes • Dropped gazes • Staring • Scanning body below neck • Fidgeting • Standing too still • Exclusive gestures (closed and away from your body) • Self-touching

9 Body Language tips to excel in every situation.
Posted by Ankit in NEVER GIVE UP on May 21, 2007 5:24:00 PM Tags: tips body language information 9 Body Language tips to excel in every situation. A man in a suit is getting inside the hall, his heart is beating like crazy and his hands are sweaty. This is the moment. He will meet the big boss of the other company, to close the biggest deal of his life. And the big chief looks at him. And our hero opens his mouth. At the very exact same moment, if that is physically possible, in another remote location a man is sitting in a bar. Five meters from him 2 magnificent women are drinking their Mohito drinks, their legs crossed, their beautiful thighs revealed. His mouth is dry, his blood is boiling and a big group of nasty hormones, just visited his brain and announced him that they, decided, for the next two minutes to have a party up there. He approaches. The girls notice him. Not very far away another guy decides to do exactly the same but this time with two brunettes. He approaches. The girls notice him. He opens his mouth. Their boyfriends notice him. They beat the shite out of him. Non verbal communication is everywhere in every move you make in every step you take and yes in every breath you take. People judge someone, the first 20 seconds he or she appears. 93% of what they understand is only how you say it, and not what you say. They size you up and make a decision. A woman in less than 20 seconds will decide whether or not she will speak to you. This will buy you the next one minute. That will buy you, a decent flirt time window. 30

Every moment, people that are watching you, try to understand if you are the boss or not. What is your position in the chain of command of life; what is your pecking order? These are the rules, old as humanity, that decide for a man if he seems to be, of High Social Value or not. Read them, as many times as you can. And remember that these habits are hard to change. You have to practice them every day, every hour. It will be impossible for you to remember them consciously all the time. A person can hold in his mind maximum, only seven plus minus two, pieces of information. So you get the first two, you practice them until they become automatic. Got that. You start doing more two. Got that. And you move from there. Avoid practicing these, only when, you are in stressful situations, because you are going to tie/anchor this body language with a stressful memory. The Rules Voice 1) Be a bit louder than most people. Don’t scream but a tiny louder. 2) Speak slowly, with plenty of pauses. Take vocal space in the minds of the people around you. 3) Your pitch and tone of voice must resonate from the chest and not from the nose or the vocals. This is a long post but for the moment keep in mind that those different frequencies resonate at different body areas effortlessly. 4) Hit at least two tones. Monotones are death for a speaker. Body Language 1) Take space. Own your space around you without trying too hard. Don’t stand around like making an excuse for being there. 2) Move slowly. Cut your speed at half. He, who moves the least is in control. 3) Stand up, like if; someone was holding your head with a cord. The top of your spine is not on your neck but on top of your head. So keep the spine straight. Shoulders down. Slow hand movements. Nothing jerky. If you want more information you can read Alexander Technique which is an excellent example. 4) Remember to smile from times to times. Your true smile. 5) Keep eye contact with people around you. If you have to remember something, remember just that. Relax. Is contagious. Lion Using body language to enhance how you start a conversation can lead to great conversation. You do not have to say much just a look or a movement can speak volumes for you. This is especially useful in situations where you can not seem to get a word in or where you are unsure of how to start a conversation. Body language is a way to communicate without putting yourself at risk of saying something wrong. You probably already use body language, but do not even notice it. 31

The following list shows the main points of body language that you should be aware of whenever you wonder how to start a conversation. 1. Eye use: People say that they can learn all about a person through their eyes. It is probably the most used part of the body to communicate next to the mouth. Your eyes can say many things, from rolling them to winking, you can display many messages with just your eyes. Sometimes you may unaware of what your eyes are saying. Be careful to not let your eyes say you are bored or not interested in a conversation. You should maintain good eye contact to let others know you are listening. 2. Body moves: Everyone has said hello with a wave of the hand or shown a lack of patience with a tap of the foot or nodded in agreement. Your hands, arms, feet and head can speak for in many cases. Crossing the arms, tapping the foot rapidly or putting your hands on your hips can all say things that might not be too good. On the other hand, clapping, tapping your foot to music or extending a hand shake can say great things. Always be aware of what your body is saying. 3. Facial expressions: Smiling can say more than words sometimes. You should be aware of your facial expressions at all times. You may frown and be unaware of it. Facial expressions can often be misinterpreted. A serious look of concentration may be seen as disapproval. Just make sure you are using the rest of your body to speak as well and your facial expressions should come across clearly. Your eyes, body and face can carry on a whole conversation for you. You can speak volumes with a simple movement. You can use body language to convey a message you may not otherwise want to vocalize. Knowing how to end or start a conversation with body language can come in handy if you do not have time to carry on a conversation, but would like to acknowledge someone. Body language can also share a feeling with someone so only the two of you know. Make sure your body language is saying what you want it to.

12 Tips on Body Language
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Posted by Wayne Berry on October 7th, 2006 | Email This Post | Print this page Allan and Barbara Pease are the internationally renowned experts on human relations and body language. 20 million book sales worldwide have turned them into household name internationally. Did you know that according to Allan Pease… 1. Being ‘perceptive’ means being able to spot the contradictions between someone’s words and their body language. And that overall women are far more perceptive than men. Research reveals that women read the situation accurately 87% of the time, while men only scored 42% accuracy. This has given rise to the term “women’s intuition”. 2. Modern humans are worse at reading body signals than their ancestors because we are now distracted by words. Try turning the volume down on the TV and see how well you do. 3. False smiles pull back only the mouth while real smiles pull back both mouth and eyes. Science has proven that the more you smile, the more positive reactions others will give you. 4. When you fold your arms your credibility dramatically reduces. You may feel that arm-crossing is simply comfortable but others will think you’re not approachable. 5. Skilful elbow-touching can give you up to three times the chance of getting what you want. A light 3 second elbow-touch creates a momentary bond between two people. Touching above or below the elbow does not produce the same result and touching for more than 3 seconds will receive a negative response. 6. Gestures can reveal if a person is lying. Seven of the most common ‘lying gestures’ are the, ‘Mouth Cover’, the ‘Nose Touch’, the ‘Eye Rub’, the ‘Ear Grab’, the ‘Neck Scratch’, the ‘Collar Pull’ and the ‘Fingers In The Mouth’. 7. Pupil dilation is a sign that the person likes what they see When the pupil of the eye dilates, the black section in the middle grows in size. This explains why we sometimes see a “twinkle in the eye” when a person is happy or excited. The larger black area reflects light differently.

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8. The closer people feel emotionally to each other, the closer they will stand to each other. There are cultural reasons too, why people will stand a certain distance from another person. 9. Jiggling the feet is like the brain’s attempt to run away from what is being experienced. If you are not sure whether you’re being lied to or not, look under the table or desk. Glass topped tables cause us more stress than solid tables, as our legs are in full view and so we don’t feel as if we are in full control. 10. Open legs show male confidence; closed legs show male reticence

Crossed legs not only reveals negative or defensive emotions, it makes a person appear insecure and causes others to react accordingly. 11. The size of a briefcase is linked to perceptions of the status of its owner.

Those who carry a large, bulky briefcase are thought to do all the work and probably take work home with them because they are poor time managers. Slim briefcases say that the owner is only concerned with the bottom line and therefore has more status. 12. Where you sit in relation to other people in a meeting or even socially, is an effective way of obtaining co-operation from them. It makes a difference whether you sit at a round table, a square table, a rectangular table or no table at all. It also matters where you sit – across from the other person, left or right of the person, next to the person and so on. It’s a fascinating subject and reading a person’s body language is a skill which can be developed. Allan cautions us though not to jump to conclusions when we see gestures and suggests three rules for accurate reading. 1. Read gestures in clusters and don’t interpret a solitary gesture on it’s own 2. Look for congruency between people’s words and their ‘body language’ 3. Remember to read gestures in context with the environment and other things that are happening Have a great week. Make it a great week! We’ve all heard of the many benefits of controlling your body language. It’s been flaunted as one of the many ways to move up through your company, get that girl or guy you’ve been eyeing from across the room, and just increase your overall mood. What body language really comes down to though, is communication. Sure there are many other benefits of understanding and controlling your body language, but at their hearts, the benefits come from good communication. 34

This can be attributed to Albert Mehrabian’s 7%-38%-55% Rule of communication. In this rule, words account for 7%, tone of voice counts for 38%, and body language accounts for 55%. 55%! That means that more than half of communication is done through body language! Here are my favorite tips to enhance the control of your body language and be a better communicator: 1. Eye Contact - To write about all the subtleties and benefits of good eye contact would be enough for its own post entirely. For now, keep in mind the basics: maintain eye contact, but do not stare. This may seem difficult or peculiar at first, but after a few days of consistency, you’ll realize your eyes are one of the best ways to convey emotion, feeling, and to communicate effectively. 2. Arms - Arms are clues to how receptive a person currently is to interaction. Let your arms rest at your sides or move them behind you. Try to refrain from crossing your arm as this is usually perceived as a defensive sign. However, arms work both ways. If you are talking with someone who just said the wrong thing, don’t hesitate to cross your arms and let them know. 3. Hands - Keep your palms face up. Open palms are seen as receptive to interaction and friendly. Hand gestures with you palms facing down can be seen as dominant and perhaps aggressive. Instead of fidgeting with your hands, use your hands to describe something as you talk about it. 4. Legs - For many people, legs are the hardest part of our bodies to control. Be aware of their movement. They have a propensity to move around when we are stressed or nervous, next time you feel your legs moving, make an effort to keep them still. As with arms, crossing your legs matters. There are many ways to cross your legs and although legs have less importance in determining the receptiveness of a person, be aware that the “Figure-Four”, which is bringing up your leg to rest on the knee of the other, is the most defensive stance. 5. Posture - Be sure to stand up straight. Keep your shoulders back and head up. Your spine doesn’t stop at your neck, it travels up and through your head, so be sure to keep your head straight too. Slouching not only makes you appear shorter, but it also portrays you as a person with low selfesteem. 6. Dedicate Attention - As a kind of catch-all, if you are seriously interested in what someone has to say, your body language will project that you are. To really get a grip on your listening skills, check out 11 Tips to Be a Better Listener. 7. Get the Angles - Angles are everything. Be aware that one’s body in relation to another’s is an indicator of one’s feelings about those others. We tend to angle towards people we find attractive, interesting, friendly, and fun, and we angle ourselves away from those we do not. A subset of angles is leaning. Whenever seating restrictions, like stadium seating in a classroom, hinders traditional angling, leaning can be seen amongst a crowd with the same conditions as angling. 8. Smile - Smile frequently, but not constantly. Smile especially when you are introduced to someone, but if you keep that smile on your face for too long, you’ll seem artificial. Laugh frequently, but try to refrain from laughing at yourself. Laughing at oneself is often seen as a nervous maneuver. Be aware of other mouth movements. We often tighten our lips or tilt them to one side when we are 35

thinking. This same pursing of the lips is used when we are trying to hold back a nasty comment. Be aware of this because it will be picked up by others and they will get the feeling you are not happy. 9. Watch Your Distance - Create your own personal space. Let other people know that you have your own personal space and be careful not to invade theirs. Standing either too close or too far from a person is not a good thing. Before you make a decision, observe the average distance between others in the room and pick a distance accordingly. 10. Proactive Mirroring - When two people are talking and getting along with each other, they often begin to unconsciously mirror each other’s body language. You can use this to your advantage by pro-actively mirroring a person to induce a “getting along” situation. For example, if the other person leans forward slightly, you lean forward slightly. If the other person places one hand on her lap, you would do well to do the same. However, give ample time before imitating and don’t be an exact mirror, let some changes in their body language go un-mirrored.

How To Use Body Language To Your Advantage When Dating
This is the language where you don't need any words. Women have been doing it for hundreds of years - to attract the man they want. Becoming fluent in body language will ensure that you will be skilled in attracting the right man, and sending the get-lost signal to the wrong man.

Eyeing Up the Prize
The more eye contact you establish with the target, the better. Start with some sidelong glances. Then, begin with direct eye contact. Once he turns to meet your gaze, immediately lower your eyes and smile to yourself, this will tell him that you were watching him and are embarrassed that he caught you - a sure sign of interest. Next, be bold and try holding his stare, flashing a small, open-lipped smile. If there is a man that is giving you the eye and you are not interested, look away from him and don`t look back at him again. When in conversation, looking at the ceiling and all around the room, also shows a definite lack of interest.

First Impressions Count

You leave your home ready to go to a party when you spot your gorgeous neighbor, and he doesn't give you a second glance. Why? Because you aren't dressed your best. When you enter a room, most people look to see who has come in. This is when you have to make an impression. Looking your best will make you feel your best. So make sure that before you leave your front door, look your best, and you never know you might just attract the attention of that gorgeous neighbor.

The Hand Job (no, not what you are thinking!)
Even without direct contact, your hands can send very powerful messages. There are a number of ways to convey that you want to get to know someone. Keeping your hands unclenched shows you're open to him. Using your hands to caress objects, such as the rim of your glass, locks of your hair, or the sleeve of your blouse, in a rhythmic (as opposed to fidgety) manner, can be a sensual act. And for the braver hands, try picking fluff off his jacket, touching him to punctuate a point, or using the "accidental touch" when reaching for the salt. Hands that are jammed in pockets, busy cleaning glasses, or balled in tight fists are all bad signs. Fingers tapping, drumming, pointing, or wagging are also signals to move on.

Stand Out
Your posture is one of the most telling signals you transmit. An open posture is evidence of an open person. Turning your body toward the man you're conversing with, keeping your feet flat on the floor and leaning forward are actions that show interest. As well, slightly tilting your head, crossing and uncrossing your legs, and thrusting your chest forward give the message that you are interested. As for ways to send a man packing, crossing your arms, holding a drink high in front of you, turning your body away or resting your feet on their toes will tell a person you are not interested.

A Few Extra Tips 36

Hopefully by now, you have an attack plan and a clear idea of when it's time to get down and dirty, or when you're best just to wave the white flag. Here are just a few more tips when trying to perfect your body language skills: • You'll know things are going really well when you begin "mirroring" one another's body language and gestures.

•

Don`t tease him by offering more than you plan to follow through. This can lead to very ugly circumstances.

•

Chain smoking, being extremely intoxicated, or having eyes only for your plate of food will not put you in the best standing for the body language game.

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If you try your hand at it, and he's not responding, abort the mission immediately.…

•

Following him around all night will only serve in making you look needy and desperate.

And finally, if all else fails, buy yourself a T-shirt that reads, "Looking for Love."

When picking up women, the most important part of the pick-up is conversation. However, did you know that 90% of all conversation is conducted by body language? It's true; the way we hold and present our bodies can give more messages then a regular chit-chat. People can subconsciously pick up if you are depressed, angry, happy, tired, alert, or any other emotion you can think of. So what does this mean for you? It means you are about to change the game with my top 5 body language tips! 1. Posture- Not many folks know this, but your spine doesn't actually end at your back, it ends at your skull. So from now on, walk with a straight posture with your head tilted up a little, and your shoulders held back. This says wonders about your confidence, and that is a huge turn-on for women. 2. Open- Never cross your legs or your arms. Crossing of the limbs means you are a closed person, and that's what people will subconsciously pick up if they see you as such. 3. Take up space- Always spread out. If you're lounging on a couch, take up as much room as possible. If you're at a bar, don't be afraid to kick your leg up on a chairs peg next to you. 4. Eye Contact- This is one of the most important tricks that anyone can use. Always look people in the eyes. This says that you are a confident person, and you're not afraid of interaction. 5. Slow Down- Don't jerk! Always make your movements slow, calculated, and smooth, never be in a hurry. When attracting women, body language can make or break you. If you use these 5 quick-tips next time your out, I guarantee you will see an almost instant in the amount of women you can successfully attract. Remember, the number one-thing to do is to just have fun. If you get too caught up in the things you read, it becomes more of a job then something you enjoy. 1. Stand tall, even if you’re the shortest person in the room. Keeping your shoulders pushed back will lend you an air of confidence. 2. Spread your weight evenly on both feet instead of leaning on one. You don’t need to stand at perfect attention, just keep your feet apart so you balance well. 3. Take your hands out of your pockets, or you may be seen like you’ve got something to hide. Hold them loosely by your side.

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Simple Powerful Body Language Tips
Body Language Tips By David Wygant Todays blog is an actual transcript from a conversation about body language that Khiem and I had the other day while we went on a hike. Enjoy, off to London tonight and promise a lot of great videos from London. Khiem: You know what David? Every time we do a blog, we always talk about that one women who walks into a room and all the men are mesmerized by her. But what if you’re a man, and you want to be that guy? The guy who walks into a room, and everybody just gets the powerful energy vibing from him. What do you think is the source of that? David: Well, that’s easy! The first step, when you walk into a room, is to slow down. A lot of guys will walk into a room, and they’re hustling their way in there very quickly to make a beeline to the bar, let’s say, if they’re at a party. They have to get there really fast. What I always tell guys to do is stop when they walk into a room. You frame whatever doorway there is, and if there’s not a doorway, you make a doorway around you. You stop for two to three seconds, and you look around the room. You look left, center, right, right, center, left, so you’re looking at the entire room. People naturally are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who is walking in. Not only do you do that, but also when you walk in, you make sure you have really good posture. Make sure your shoulders are back, your chest is puffed out; make sure you’re standing straight up. You make sure you look good. Body language is very important. So much of life is based on initial impressions. So if you walk in there and you command power (commanding power is standing upright and walking in) then you have to walk through that room slowly. You literally should strut through that room. Walking through that room at a very slow pace, smile at a woman that you see – make that initial contact. Give her a direct look in her eyes, smile, and ask her how she’s doing tonight. That’s it. You can walk away from that right after you do that because it is how you deliver that smile. If you deliver that smile very strongly, if you deliver that smile with conviction, and with good body language, then she’s going to wonder who you are. Then you go directly your friend (or whoever else) and have great body language when you talk to them. People noticed you when you walked into the room. You smiled at the woman and she smiled back at you – you now have acknowledgement from all of the people that are around you. So now when you go talk to a friend, you make sure that you greet your friend in the same powerful way. Put your hand on his shoulder, shake his hand, look directly in his eyes, and have a very commanding presence. Khiem: Now, you’ve mentioned puffing your chest out and everything. What if I have bad body language? What can I do to fix my body language? Or is there anything I should know about how to put my shoulders back? How far back? What’s the right way? David: Well, there’s a great exercise that I do in order to get really good posture. Go to www.yogaaccessories.com and order a block. It’s literally a 3”x3” foam block. What you want to do is lay on that block every single night. Take the block and stick it right between your shoulder blades – and lay back on the block. Then put another block 38

under your head. What you are doing is spreading your chest and your shoulders, and by putting that block there, you’re automatically getting really good posture. You’re taking your shoulder blades and putting them back where they should be, and you’re puffing your chest out so you’re not overdoing it. You’re putting your body into its natural position in that situation. That’s one great exercise in order to get really good body language. Another one to do is just to stand up against the wall. Stand there and hold your chest back and your shoulders back until they touch the wall. They shouldn’t go any further back than that when you’re walking either. So you should be looking like you’re walking upright instead of walking like Cro-Magnon man. Khiem: I think that’s a great exercise, especially since I’ve heard from various martial arts teachers in talks about body language that you can even imagine yourself as being hung like a rag doll from the top of your head. If you do that, your head naturally aligns with your back so you look taller than you would be. Another thing I’ve observed is that a lot of guys tend to have their knuckles facing forward when they shouldn’t. By having your knuckles facing forward, your shoulders kind of close up, which gives you this hunchback look a little bit. If you just open your palms a little bit more – and I wouldn’t say you should walk with your hands completely open, waiting to receive a gift, like Jesus Christ, but your thumbs facing forward would be better. What do you think about that? David: Yeah, that’s another good tip that guys can use. They’re all really good tips. But once again, not only is body language important but also the speed of your walk. When you walk into a room slowly, you’re a commanding presence that people will notice. When you walk into a room quickly, you’re hustling into that room so fast that you’re basically just a blur. You have to be a commanding presence. You may have the body language right, but you’ve got to get the walk right too. Another thing is that when you speak with a woman, you need to look directly at her – your body needs to frame her body. This means that if you’re standing there in front of her, whichever direction she is facing, you have to face that direction also. You have to bring her in to that scope or frame – so you’re mirroring each other. Khiem: So basically what I’m hearing from you in terms of movements is that your movements should be slow, deliberate and flowing. It shouldn’t look jerky, because if it looks jerky, it looks like you’re nervous, right? David: Correct. Khiem: And what about hand movements? What about that? I have some friends that always look gay – I don’t know what it is, but the way they move makes them look very feminine. David: The funny thing about it is that I’m a hand movement kind of guy. I’ve done a lot of TV and I’m always moving my hands around like a maniac. But it’s the way that I do it – I’m facing the person I’m talking to. When you face the person that you’re talking to, you are literally creating what I call a funnel between the two of you. So your hand motions are directly towards them. A lot of guys have bad eye contact, and they start to look like Pinocchio, just bouncing all over the place and their hands are flying back. Those are the guys that look really gay with their hand motions, because they’re looking all around the room and their hands are flying backwards! It’s all in the way that you look at somebody. Once again, a strong, powerful man looks directly into someone’s eyes and shows them who the man is. If you have any 39

questions about body language or anything, I suggest you YouTube Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks. I know when I’m talking to a room of people, I’m talking to left, center, right. I’m looking directly into people’s eyes to make them feel like I’m connecting with them, which is what people are looking for. This is a good little primer on body language. For a deeper understanding on Body Language and how to use to not only meet a woman but drive her crazy in bed let me suggest my Mens Mastery Series, click here to find out more. Todays video is all about how to meet women in museums and art galleries. You want to be the man that stands out from all the rest?

A Guys Guide To Body Language and Dating
60% or more of your success at dating women comes down to your non verbal communication. ie. Body Language. If your body language portrays a weak and insecure guy, you will be killing your chances with her. It doesn't matter what you say if you look like an average boring guy. Keep reading for some excellent tips to start using every single time you interact with a girl. If you get your confident non verbal communication skills mastered, you will be able to say just about anything. Flirting with women will not succeed without excellent body language skills. Remember women want a confident guy and to get confident you need to be good at showing off positive body language. Fake it until it is a natural skill you can do without thinking about it. Remember:
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Women want to see confidence Women want to see you standing tall in front of others Women want you to know what you are doing

How does a confident man walk? You have seen the way they move smoothly, relaxed at all times, nothing startles them, they have a calm and they are in comple control. You do not want to be nervous, anxious or fidgety. Keep your body relaxed. Stop thinking so much in your head, and pay attention to what is going on in the moment. Instead of being in your own head thinking about what you are going to say next, listen to what she is saying. You can answer her when she is finished. Stay in the moment. You should be in a little bubble of your own, just her and you. Focus. Move slowly and always have a purpose. Don't tap your fingers on the table. Don't be squirming around in the chair and don't be rocking back and forth while talking. Your smile is a big key it gives off the impression that you are positive and in a good mood. Plus you seem fun to be with and aren't worried about anything. It is all under control. A confident guy will be able to be in control of things. Keeping your composure and being able to laugh is important. You should stand tall and make eye contact with everyone. Talk to everybody and be the center of the action most of the time. Just don't act like you are doing it for a purpose. It is natural for you to be the leader. Women want to date leaders! 40

Don't avoid conflict, you can handle it. No matter what happens. Act like a man, you are not a boy anymore. Bottom line stand up for yourself and your ladies. It is important to be comfortable in your surroundings. You need to get out and practice just hanging out in social gatherings. Just go to have fun and get used to the whole scene. This allows your body to relax and your anxieties will be reduced to manageable levels. You will be able to appear like you know what you are doing. Make sure to pay attention to peoples reactions to your body language. If you walk up to a woman and slouch or rock back and forth, she will notice. If you don't keep eye contact, she will notice. If your energy level is low, you will pull everyone else down. You should be adding to the energy not taking it from them. So come in happy and fun. Keep your shoulders back and chest up and out. Head held high, no looking at the floor. Move slowly and keep your posture open. Don't cross your arms or hold your drink in front of you. Try this next time you go out, act like you would act at home in your living room. How would you stand, hold your drink and react to whatever happens? You would be totally relaxed and comfortable. Pay attention to your body language at all times, this is a required part of looking attractive to women. Plus it helps in all aspects of your life. Good things happen to confident men. It is your attitude that makes the difference. You will have much better reactions from women, if and only if your body language speaks to them. It is powerful in your dating life. Read as much as you can on the subject, and practice it full time.

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