Welsh Irvine Glue

GLUE
Irvine Welsh lives in London.
By the same author
FICTION

Trainspotting The Acid House Marabou Stork Nightmares Ecstasy Filth DRAMA You ll Ha!e Had Your Hole S"REEN#$AY The Acid House

GLUE
%R&%NE 'E$SH

Glue is the story o( (our boys gro)ing up in the Edinburgh schemes* and about the loyalties* the e+periences , and the secrets , that hold them together into their thirties- Four boys becoming men. /uice Terry* the )ork,shy (anny,merchant* )ith corkscre) curls and sticky (ingers0 1illy the bo+er. dri!en* controlled* playing to his strengths0 "arl* the Milky 1ar 2id* dri(ting along to his o)n soundtrack0 and the doomed 3aily , )ho has one less skin than e!eryone else and seems to (ind catastrophe at e!ery cornerAs )e (ollo) their li!es (rom the se!enties into the ne) century , (rom punk to techno* (rom speed to Es , )e can see each

o( them trying to struggle out (rom under the )eight o( the conditioning o( class and culture* peer pressure and their parents hopes that maybe their sons )ill do better than they did- 'hat binds the (our o( them is the (riendship (ormed by the scheme* their school* and their ambition to escape (rom both0 their loyalty (used in street morality. back up your mates* don t hit )omen and* most importantly* ne!er grass , on anyoneDespite its scale and ambition* Glue has all %r!ine 'elsh s usual pace and !igour* crackling dialogue* scabrous set,pieces and black* black humour* but it is also a gro)n,up book about gro)ing up , about the )ay )e li!e our li!es* and )hat happens to us )hen things become unstuck-

JONATHAN GAPE
LONDON

Published by Jonathan Cape 200 2!"# 0 $%&' Copy(i)ht * I(+ine ,elsh 200 I(+ine ,elsh has asse(ted his (i)ht unde( the Copy(i)ht- Desi)ns and Patents A.t $## to be identi/ied as the autho( o/ this 0o(1 This boo1 is sold sub2e.t to the .ondition that it shall not- by 0ay o/ t(ade o( othe(0ise- be lent- (esold- hi(ed out- o( othe(0ise .i(.ulated 0ithout the publishe(3s p(io( .onsent in any /o(4 o/ bindin) o( .o+e( othe( than that in 0hi.h it is published and 0ithout a
si4ila( .ondition in.ludin) this .ondition bein) i4posed on the subse5uent pu(.hase(

Fi(st published in G(eat 6(itain in 200 by Jonathan Cape 7ando4 House- 20 8au9hall 6(id)e 7oad- London :,i8 2:A 7ando4 House Aust(alia ;Pty< Li4ited 20 Al/(ed :t(eet- =ilsons Point- :ydney- Ne0 :outh ,ales 20" - Aust(alia 7ando4 House Ne0 >ealand Li4ited # Poland 7oad- Glen/ield- Au.1land 0- Ne0 >ealand 7ando4 House ;Pty< Li4ited Endulini- &A Jubilee 7oad- Pa(1to0n 2 $'- :outh A/(i.a The 7ando4 House G(oup Li4ited 7e)? No? $&!00$ A CIP .atalo)ue (e.o(d /o( this boo1 is a+ailable /(o4 the 6(itish Lib(a(y I:6N o 22! 0" 2" % ;Pape(ba.1< I:6N o 22! 0" %2 o ;Ha(dba.1< Pape(s used by The 7ando4 House G(oup Li4ited a(e natu(al- (e.y.lable p(odu.ts 4ade /(o4 0ood )(o0n in sustainable /o(ests@ the 4anu/a.tu(in) p(o.esses .on/o(4 to the en+i(on4ental (e)ulations o/ the .ount(y o/ o(i)in P(inted and bound in G(eat 6(itain by =a.1ays o/ Chatha4 PLC

This boo1 is dedi.ated to :hea(e(- :.(ap- Geo()e- Ji44y- Deano- =i.1ey- Ta(n- :i4on- =iles- :.ott and C(a0/ /o( sti.1in) to)ethe( e+en 0hen /allin) apa(t

Contents..........................................................................................................................................5 1. Round About 1970: The Man of the ouse.............................................................................!
Windo"s 70.......................................................................................................................................................! Terr# La"son. The $irst %a# at &'hool.........................................................................................................7 Carl ("art. The Wor)s.................................................................................................................................10 *ill# *irrell. T"o Ro#al +ests.......................................................................................................................1, Andre" -allo"a#. The Man of the ouse..................................................................................................15

.. I9/0ish: The Last 0$ish1 &u22er.............................................................................................1!
Windo"s 3/0....................................................................................................................................................1! Terr# La"son. 4ui'ed 52..............................................................................................................................17

An.le Ale.??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????2' &all# and &id 4a6es........................................................................................................................................7 *ill# *irrell. &e8 as a $ootball &ubstitute.....................................................................................................5 The 7e/e(ee3s a 6asta(d??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????2" Coppe( ,i(e????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????2% Andre" -allo"a#. Lateness..........................................................................................................................,7 The :po(tin) Li/e????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????'% Clouds..............................................................................................................................................................7! A ;8i()in< :oldie(3s :on)???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????&0 No =an o/ the House?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????&& Carl ("art. &e8 (du'ation...........................................................................................................................57 =a1e =e :4ile ;Co4e Ap and :ee =e<???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????&$ Je0s and Gentiles???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????"0 D(in1in) to Fo()et??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????" Debut :ha)??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????"#

,. It Must

ave *een 1990:

itler3s Lo'al.................................................................................77

Windo"s 390....................................................................................................................................................77 *ill# *irrell. The ills....................................................................................................................................7! =e4o(ies o/ Italia??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#' Andre" -allo"a#.........................................................................................................................................../7 T(ainin)???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#! Ni)ht4a(e on El4 7o0??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#$ Li4itations??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????$2 Terr# La"son.................................................................................................................................................9, Pa(tBti4e(s???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????$' Do4esti.s???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????$& Ho4e on the G(an)e???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????$" The ,heatshea/??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????$% The Pe(sisten.e o/ :ha))in) P(oble4s??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????$$ F(eedo4 o/ Choi.e??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 00 Clubland???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 02 Co4petition?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 0& Carl ("art....................................................................................................................................................109 I.h 6in Ein Edinbu()he(??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 0$ Contin)en.y Plannin)?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? % Fo(es1in???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 20 No0 That3s ,hat I Call Cho(in???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 2! The =uni.h 6ee( Festi+al???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 2" Fi)ht /o( the 7i)ht to Pa(ty??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? '0

7. A22ro8i6atel# .000: A $estival At6os2here.....................................................................1,/
Windo"s 300..................................................................................................................................................1,/ (dinbur9h: &'otland....................................................................................................................................1,9 Abandon4ent???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? '$ A F(in)e Club??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ! &o6e"here ;ear the *lue Mountains: ;e" &outh Wales: Australia.....................................................17. (dinbur9h: &'otland....................................................................................................................................17. Post =othe(- Post Ale.????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? !2 The 6al4o(al???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? !' Co.1s Oot /i( the Lassies?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? !! 7e.o(d Co4pany?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? !" Too Hea+y On The =int :au.e- =s Joyne(????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? !% I Cno0 Dou3(e Asin) =e????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? !# *lue Mountains: ;&W: Australia...............................................................................................................151 (dinbur9h: &'otland....................................................................................................................................15, :.u4????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? &' The 7epli.a :hi(t P(oble4??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? &!

=a(1etin) Oppo(tunities?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? &" 7i.ha(d Ge(e????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? &% *lue Mountains: ;&W: Australia Wednesda# 1.,7 a6............................................................................15/ (dinbur9h: &'otland Wednesda# /.,0 26. Me6ories of +i2ers %i&C<Te'.........................................159 *lue Mountains: ;&W: Australia Wednesda# 7.1. a6............................................................................159 (dinbur9h: &'otland Wednesda# /.07 26. Air=brush It.........................................................................1!1 An A(ban =yth????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "2 Pished- D(u))ed- Laid?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "" A ,el.o4e Alte(nati+e to Filth and 8iolen.e????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "% Gi44e =edi.ation??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "% The 7abbit???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "$ An A4e(i.an in Leith??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? %0 :tone Island?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? % &#dne# Air2ort: ;&W: Australia Wednesda# 11.00 26..........................................................................17. (dinbur9h: &'otland Thursda# 1..71 a6. The *itterest +ill is Mine to Ta)e......................................17. Ta9i??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? %" :ta(s and Ci)a(ettes?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? %% In=$li9ht 7.00 a6..........................................................................................................................................1/0 (dinbur9h: &'otland /..! a6 <ur *ona $ide -uests..............................................................................1/1 *an9)o) Air2ort: Thailand 7.10 26..........................................................................................................1/! (dinbur9h: &'otland 10.17 a6. >oun9 Cunts...........................................................................................1// LET THE= CNO,????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? $0 ,an1in)???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? $2 eathro" Air2ort: London: (n9land !.,0 26..........................................................................................19. (dinbur9h: &'otland. ..0. 26 The *usiness *ar.....................................................................................195 Islands in the :t(ea4???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? $$ -las9o": &'otland 5..7 26..........................................................................................................................0, (dinbur9h: &'otland !..1 26 -it er &hoes <af? -it er &la')s <af..................................................07 6abe(ton =ains?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????20" :lippin)?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????20% Fu.1ed and Hassled??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????20$ The End?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????2

Re2rise .00.: The -olden (ra..................................................................................................1!

9lue: gloo, n. an i4pu(e )elatine )ot by boilin) ani4al (e/use- used as an adhesi+e? Chambers 20th Century Dictionar

Contents

%
ROUND ABOUT 1970: THE MAN OF THE HOUSE
Windows '70 3 Te ! L"wson 4 he First Day at School # $" % Ew" & The 'orks ' ( Bi%%! Bi e%% T)o Royal #ests (0 And ew G"%%ow"! The Man o( the House ()

2
'9*0is+:
THE LAST ,F'SH- SU..ER
Windows '*0 (9 Te ! L"wson 5uiced 6p 7 6ncle Alec 7 Sally and Sid /ames 3( Bi%%! Bi e%% Se+ as a Football Substitute 7 The Re(eree s a 1astard 7 "opper 'ire /9

And ew G"%%ow"! $ateness 7 The Sporting $i(e 7 "louds 7 A 8&irgin9 Soldiers Song 7 The Rockford Files !- The Professionals | No Man o( the House #* $" % Ew" & Se+ Education 7 Make Me Smile 8"ome 6p and See Me9 7 /e)s and 3entiles 7 Drinking to Forget 7 Debut Shag 11#

:
'T MUST HA0E BEEN 1990: H'TLER'S LO$AL
Windows '90 1)3 Bi%%! Bi e%% The Hills 7 Memories o( %talia 1)9 And ew G"%%ow"! Training 7 Nightmare on Elm Ro) 7 $imitations 17#

1iii
Te ! L"wson #art,timers 7 Domestics 7 Home on the 3range 7 The 'heatshea( 7 The #ersistence o( Shagging #roblems 7 Freedom o( "hoice 7 "lubland 7 "ompetition 19/ $" % Ew" & %ch 1in Ein Edinburgher 7 "ontingency #lanning 7 Foreskin 7 No) That s 'hat % "all "horin 7 The Munich 1eer Festi!al 7 Fight (or the Right to #arty ((9

;
A..RO2'MATEL3 (000: A FEST'0AL ATMOS.HERE
Windows '00 (93 Edin45 6+7 S8o&%"nd Abandonment 7 A Fringe "lub (9) So9ew+e e Ne" &+e B%5e Mo5n&"ins7 New So5&+ W"%es7 A5s& "%i" 301 Edin45 6+7 S8o&%"nd #ost Mother* #ost Alec 7 The 1almoral 7 "ocks <ot (ir the $assies 7 Record "ompany 7 % 2no) You re 6sing Me 30( B%5e Mo5n&"ins7 NSW7 A5s& "%i" 3(0 Edin45 6+7 S8o&%"nd Scum 7 The Replica Shirt #roblem 7 Marketing <pportunities 7 Richard 3ere 3() B%5e Mo5n&"ins7 NSW7 A5s& "%i" 33) Edin45 6+7 S8o&%"nd Memories o( #ipers DiS"<Tec 337 B%5e Mo5n&"ins7 NSW7 A5s& "%i" 3/0 Edin45 6+7 S8o&%"nd Air,brush %t 7 An 6rban Myth 7 #ished* Drugged* $aid 7 A 'elcome Alternati!e to Filth and &iolence 7 3imme Medication 7 The Rabbit 7 An American in $eith 7 Stone %sland 3/) S!dne! Ai :o &7 NSW7 A5s& "%i" 3#7 Edin45 6+7 S8o&%"nd The 1itterest #ill is Mine to Take 7 Ta+i 7 Stars and "igarettes 3#9 'n;F%i6+& 3*) Edin45 6+7 S8o&%"nd <ur 1ona Fide 3uests 3** B"n6<o< Ai :o &7 T+"i%"nd 399 Edin45 6+7 S8o&%"nd Young "unts 7 'anking /0/ He"&+ ow Ai :o &7 London7 En6%"nd /13 Edin45 6+7 S8o&%"nd The 1usiness 1ar 7 %slands in the Stream /19 G%"s6ow7 S8o&%"nd /3#

i=
Edin45 6+* S8o&%"nd 3it Her Shoes <a(= 3it Her Slacks <a(= 7 1aberton Mains 7 Slipping 7 Fucked and Hassled 7 The End //0

RE.R'SE: (00(:
THE GOLDEN ERA /#)

1. Round About 1970: The Man of the
Windo"s 70

ouse

The sun (ose up /(o4 behind the .on.(ete o/ the blo.1 o/ /lats opposite- bea4in) st(ai)ht into thei( /a.es? Da+ie Gallo0ay 0as so su(p(ised by its snea1y daEEle- he nea(ly d(opped the table he 0as st(u))lin) to .a((y? It 0as hot enou)h al(eady in the ne0 /lat and Da+ie /elt li1e a st(an)e e9oti. plant 0iltin) in an o+e(heated )(eenhouse? It 0as they 0indaes- they 0e(e hu)e- and they su.1ed in the sun- he thou)ht- as he put the table do0n and loo1ed out at the s.he4e belo0 hi4? Da+ie /elt li1e a ne0ly .(o0ned e4pe(o( su(+eyin) his /ie/do4? The ne0 buildin)s 0e(e i4p(essi+e all (i)htF they /ai(ly )lea4ed 0hen the li)ht hit those spa(1lin) 0ee stanes e4bedded in the .laddin)? 6(i)ht.lean- ai(y and 0a(4- that 0as 0hat 0as needed? He (e4e4be(ed the .hilly- da(1 tene4ent in Go()ie@ .o+e(ed 0ith soot and )(i4e /o( )ene(ations 0hen the .ity had ea(ned its 3Auld 7ee1ie3 ni.1na4e? Outside- thei( dullna((o0 st(eets nippin) 0ith people pin.hed and shu//lin) /(o4 the 4a((o0Bbitin) 0inte( .old- and that (an1 s4ell o/ hops /(o4 the b(e0e(y 0a/tin) in 0hen you opened the 0indo0- al0ays .ausin) hi4 to (et.h i/ he3d o+e(done it in the pub the p(e+ious ni)ht? All that had )one- and about ti4e too? This 0as the 0ay to li+eG Fo( Da+ie Gallo0ay- it 0as the bi) 0indo0s that e9e4pli/ied all that 0as )ood about these ne0 slu4B .lea(an.e pla.es? He tu(ned to his 0i/e- 0ho 0as polishin) the s1i(tin)s? ,hy did she ha+e to polish the s1i(tin)s in a ne0 hooseH 6ut :usan 0as on he( 1nees- .lad in o+e(alls- he( la()e bla.1 beehi+e bobbin) up and do0n- testi/yin) to he( /(enEied a.ti+ity? I That3s the best thin) aboot these pla.es- :usan- Da+ie +entu(ed- I the bi) 0indaes? Let the sun in- he added- be/o(e )lan.in)

/

o+e( at the 4a(+el o/ that 0ee bo9 stu.1 on the 0all abo+e he( head? I Cent(al heatin) /o( the 0inte( n a0.annae be beaten? The /li.1 ay a s0it.h? :usan (ose slo0ly- (espe.t/ul o/ the .(a4p 0hi.h had been settlin) into he( le)s? :he 0as s0eatin) as she sta4ped one nu4bed- tin)lin) /oot- in o(de( to )et the .i(.ulation ba.1 into it? 6eads o/ 4oistu(e )athe(ed on he( /o(ehead? I It3s too hot- she .o4plained? Da+ie b(is1ly shoo1 his head? I Na0- ta1e it 0hile ye .an )et it? This is :.otland- 4ind- it3s no )aunny last? Ta1in) in a deep b(eath- Da+ie pi.1ed up the table- (e.o44en.in) his a(duous st(u))le to0a(ds the 1it.hen? It 0as a t(i.1y bu))e(F a s4a(t ne0 Fo(4i.aBtopped 2ob 0hi.h see4ed to .onstantly shi/t its 0ei)ht and spill all o+e( the pla.e? Li1e 0(estlin) 0i a /u.1in .(o.odile- he thou)ht- and su(e enou)h- the beast snapped at his /in)e(s /o(.in) hi4 to 0ithd(a0 the4 5ui.1ly and su.1 on the4 as the table .latte(ed to the /loo(? I :h ? ? ? su)a(- Da+ie .u(sed? He ne+e( s0o(e in /(ont o/ 0o4en? Ce(tain tal1 0as a0(i)ht /o( the pub- but no in /(ont o/ a 0o4an? He tiptoed o+e( to the .ot in the .o(ne(? The baby still slept soundly? I Ah telt ye ah3d )ie ye a hand 0i that Da+ie- yi( )aunny hu+ nae /in)e(s and a b(o1en table the 0ey thin)s a(e )aun? :usan 0a(ned hi4? :he shoo1 he( head slo0ly- loo1in) o+e( to the .(ib? I :u(p(ised ye dinnae 0a1e he(? Pi.1in) up he( dis.o4/o(t- Da+ie said- I De dinnae (eally li1e that table- dae yeH :usan Gallo0ay shoo1 he( head a)ain? :he loo1ed past the ne0 1it.hen table- and sa0 the ne0 th(eeBpie.e suite- the ne0 .o//ee table and ne0 .a(pets 0hi.h had 4yste(iously a((i+ed the p(e+ious day 0hen she3d been out at he( 0o(1 in the 0his1y bonds? I ,hat is itH Da+ie as1ed- 0a+in) his so(e hand in the ai(? He /elt he( sta(e- open and bale/ul? Those bi) eyes o/ he(s? I ,he(e did ye )et this stu//- Da+ieH He hated 0hen she as1ed hi4 thin)s li1e that? It spoiled e+e(ythin)- d(o+e a 0ed)e bet0een the4? It 0as /o( all o/ the4 he did 0hat he did@ :usan- the baby- the 0ee /ellay? I As1 no 5uestions- ah3ll tell ye no lies- he s4iled- but he .ouldn3t loo1 at he(- as unsatis/ied hi4sel/ 0ith this (eto(t as he 1ne0 she 0ould be? Instead- he bent do0n and 1issed his baby dau)hte( on the .hee1? Loo1in) up- he 0onde(ed aloud- I ,he(e3s And(e0H He )lan.ed at :usan b(ie/ly?
)

:usan tu(ned a0ay sou(ly? He 0as hidin) a)ain- hidin) behind the bai(ns? Da+ie 4o+ed into the hall 0ith the stealthy .aution o/ a t(en.h soldie( /ea(/ul o/ snipe(s? I And(e0- he shouted? His son thunde(ed do0n the stai(s- a 0i(y- .ha()ed li/eB/o(.e- spo(tin) the sa4e da(1 b(o0n hai( as :usan3s- but sho(n to a 4ini4alist .(op- /ollo0in) Da+ie th(ou)h to the li+in) (oo4? I He(e eh is- he .hee(/ully announ.ed /o( :usan3s bene/it? Notin) that she 0as studiously i)no(in) hi4- he tu(ned to the boy and as1ed- I De still li1e it up in yi( ne0 (oo4H And(e0 loo1ed up at hi4 and then at :usan? I Ah /ound a boo1 ah ne+e( had be/o(e- he told the4 ea(nestly? I That3s )ood- :usan said- 4o+in) o+e( and pi.1in) a th(ead /(o4 the boy3s st(iped TBshi(t? Loo1in) up at his /athe(- And(e0 as1ed- I ,hen .an ah )et a bi1e- DadH I :oon- son- Da+ie s4iled? I Dou said 0hen ah 0ent tae s.hool- And(e0 said 0ith )(eat sin.e(ity- his la()e da(1 eyes /i9in) on his /athe(3s in a 4ilde( /o(4 o/ a..usation than :usan3s? I Ah did- pal- Da+ie .on.eded- I and it3s no lon) no0? A bi1eH ,he(e 0as the 4oney .o4in) /(o4 /o( a bloody bi1eH :usan Gallo0ay thou)ht- shi+e(in) to he(sel/ as the blaEin)- s0elte(in) su44e( sun beat in (elentlessly- th(ou)h the hu)e 0indo0s?

Terr# La"son. The $irst %a# at &'hool
,ee Te((y and D+onne La0son sat 0ith 2ui.e and .(isps at a 0ooden table o/ the Dell Inn- in the .on.(ete en.losu(e they .alled the bee( )a(den? They 0e(e loo1in) o+e( the /en.e at the botto4 o/ the ya(d- do0n the steep ban1- .onte4platin) the du.1s in the ,ate( o/ Leith? ,ithin a /e0 se.onds a0e tu(ned to bo(edo4@ you .ould only loo1 at du.1s /o( so lon)- and Te((y had othe( thin)s on his 4ind? It had been his /i(st day at s.hool and he hadn3t en2oyed it? D+onne 0ould )o ne9t yea(? Te((y said to he( that it 0asn3t +e(y )ood and he3d been /(i)htened but no0 he 0as 0ith thei( =a- and thei( Dad 0as the(e as 0ell- so it 0as o1ay? Thei( =a and Dad 0e(e tal1in) and they 1ne0 thei( =a 0as an)(y? I ,ell- they hea(d he( as1 hi4- I 0hat is it yu+ )ot tae sayH Te((y loo1ed up at his Dad 0ho s4iled and 0in1ed at hi4 be/o(e tu(nin) ba.1 to add(ess the boy3s 4othe(? I No in /(ont ay the bai(ns- he said .oolly? I Dinnae p(etend tae .a(e aboot thai4- Ali.e La0son s.o//ed- he( +oi.e (isin) steadily- i4pla.ably- li1e a

2et en)ine ta1in) o//- I yi( 5ui.1 enou)h tae 0al1 oot oan thai4G Dinnae p(etend thatG Hen(y La0son shu//led a(ound to .he.1 0ho3d hea(d? =et one nosy )ape 0ith a ha(d sta(e until it a+e(ted? T0o old /u.1e(s- a .ouple? Inte(/e(in) auld basta(ds? :pea1in) th(ou)h his teeth- in a st(ained 0hispe(- he said to he(- I Ah3+e telt ye- they3ll be loo1ed e/ti(? Ah3+e /u.1in 0ell telt ye that? =a ain /u.1in bai(ns- he snapped at he(- the tendons in his ne.1 taut? Hen(y 1ne0 that Ali.e 0as al0ays d(i+en to belie+e the best in people? He /an.ied that he .ould su44on enou)h .ont(olled out(a)e7

enou)h in2u(ed inno.en.e into his tone o/ +oi.e to su))est that he( auda.ity in belie+in) that he ;/o( all his /aults- o/ 0hi.h he3d be the /i(st to ad4it< .ould lea+e his o0n .hild(en unp(o+ided /o(- 0as o+e(step pin) the 4a(1- e+en a..ountin) /o( e4otions (unnin) hi)h in the b(ea1Bup o/ thei( (elationship? Indeed- it 0as 2ust those so(t o/ alle)ations that had p(a.ti.ally d(i+en hi4 into the a(4s o/ Paula =.Cay- a spinste( o/ the Pa(ish o/ Leith? The /ine Paula- a youn) 0o4an o/ )(eat +i(tue and )oodness 0hi.h had (epeatedly been .alled into 5uestion by the e4bitte(ed Ali.e? ,as not Paula the sole .a(e( /o( he( /athe( Geo()e- 0ho o0ned the Po(t :unshine Ta+e(n in Leith and 0ho 0as st(i.1en 0ith .an.e(H It 0ould not be lon) no0 and Paula 0ould need all the help she .ould to )et th(ou)h this di//i.ult ti4e? Hen(y 0ould be a to0e( o/ st(en)th? And his o0n na4e had been .ontinually sullied- but Hen(y 0as )(a.iously p(epa(ed to a..ept that people tended to say thin)s they didn3t 4ean in e4otionally /(au)ht ti4es? Did he not also 1no0 the pain o/ the b(ea1do0n o/ thei( (elationshipH ,as it not ha(de( /o( hi4- he bein) the one 0ho had to lea+e his .hild(enH Loo1in) do0n and a.(oss at the4 Hen(y let his eyes )listen and a lu4p .onst(i.t his th(oat? He hoped Ali.e .au)ht that )estu(e and that it 0ould be enou)h? It see4ed as i/ it 0as? He hea(d bu(blin) noises- li1e the st(ea4 belo0 the4- he /an.ied- and he 0as 4o+ed to put his a(4 (ound he( sha1in) shoulde(s? I Please stay- Hen(y- she shudde(ed- p(essin) he( head into his .hest- /illin) he( nost(ils 0ith the s.ent o/ Old :pi.e still /(a)(ant on his .heeseB)(ate( .hin? Hen(y 0as not so 4u.h a /i+eBo3.lo.1Bshado0 4an- as a lun.hti4eBshado0 4an- ha+in) to sha+e at least t0i.e a day? I The(e- the(e- Hen(y .ooed? I Dinnae you be 0o((yin? ,e3+e )ot the bai(ns- you(s n 4ine- he s4iled(ea.hin) o+e( and touslin) youn) Te((y3s 4op o/ .u(ls- .onside(in) that Ali.e (eally should ta1e the boy to the ba(be(3s 4ai( o/ten? He 0as li1e :hi(ley Te4ple? It .ould .ause the laddie to )(o0 up /unny? I De ne+e( e+en as1ed ho0 he )ot oan at s.hool? Ali.e sat up st(ai)ht- /used 0ith a ne0 bitte(ness as she /o.used a)ain on 0hat 0as happenin)? I Dou ne+e( )a+e 4e the .han.e- Hen(y (eto(ted in tet.hy i4patien.e? Paula 0as 0aitin)? ,aitin) /o( his 1isses- /o( that .o4/o(tin) a(4 that 0as no0 (ound Ali.e? C(yin)- pu//y- sa))in) Ali.e? ,hat a .ont(ast 0ith Paula3s youth/ul body@ ti)ht- lithe- un4a(1ed by .hildbi(th? The(e (eally .ould be no .ontest?
*

Thin1in)- beyond his 0o(ds- s4ells and st(on) a(4- about 0hat 0as a.tually happenin) and lettin) the pain pulse ha(d and un(e4ittin)ly in he( .hest- Ali.e 4ana)ed to snap- I He .(ied and .(ied and .(ied? He )(et his eyes oot? This an)e(ed Hen(y? Te((y 0as olde( than the (est o/ his .lass- 4issin) a yea(3s s.hoolin) due to his 4enin)itis? He should ha+e been the last one to .(y? It 0as Ali.e3s /ault- she spoiled hi4- still t(eated hi4 li1e a baby be.ause o/ his si.1ness? The(e 0as nothin) 0(on) 0ith the boy no0? Hen(y 0as about to 4ention Te((y3s hai(- about ho0 she had hi4 loo1in) li1e a 0ee lassie- so 0hat else .ould she e9pe.t /(o4 hi4H 6ut Ali.e 0as no0 sta(in) at hi4- he( eyes blaEin) in a..usation? Hen(y loo1ed a0ay? :he sta(ed at his 2a0line- his hea+y )(o0th- and then /ound he(sel/ loo1in) at Te((y? The laddie had been so ill 2ust ei)hteen 4onths a)o? He3d ba(ely su(+i+ed? And Hen(y 0as 0al1in) out on all o/ the4- 0al1in) out /o( he(F di(ty- /li)hty 0ee hoo(? :he let the sa+a)e (ealisation 2ust th(ob in he( .hest and didn3t t(y to .o0e( and b(a.e he(sel/ /o( it? *A;:till up(i)ht and p(oud- Ali.e 0as /eelin) his a(4 li4p- a.(oss he( shoulde(s? :u(ely the ne9t pulse o/ (a.1in) si.1ness 0ouldn3t be as bad as that one

*A;,hen 0ould it )et bette(- 0hen 0ould the ho((o( abate- 0hen 0ould she- they- be so4e0he(e else *A;He 0as lea+in) the4 /o( he(? And then the an.ho( o/ his a(4 0as )one and Ali.e 0as d(o0nin) in the +oid o/ the spa.e a(ound he(? In he( pe(iphe(al +ision she .ould see hi4- s0in)in) D+onne in the ai(- then )athe(in) up the .hild(en and huddlin) the4 to)ethe(@ 0hispe(in) i4po(tant but en.ou(a)in) inst(u.tions- li1e a s.hool /ootball .oa.h )i+in) his

playe(s a hal/Bti4e pep tal1?
9

I Dou( daddy3s )ot a ne0 2ob so he3ll be 0o(1in) a0ay a lot? :ee ho0 upset =u4 isH Hen(y didn3t see Ali.e /i(st sit up (i)id- then slu4p in de/eat at his 0o(ds@ it 0as as i/ she3d been 1i.1ed in the sto4a.h? I That 4eans you t0o ha+e tae help he( out? Te((y- ah don3t 0ant tae hea( any 4ai( nonsense aboot you )(eetin at the s.hool? That3s /o( da/t 0ee lassies- he told his son- 4a1in) a /ist and p(essin) it unde( the boy3s .hin? Hen(y then /ished in his t(ouse( po.1ets- p(odu.in) a .ouple o/ t0oBbob bits? C(ushin) one into D+onne3s hand- he 0at.hed he( e9p(ession stay neut(al 0hile Te((y3s eyes 0ent 0ide and 0ild in anti.ipation? I =ind 0hat ah sais- Hen(y s4iled at his son- be/o(e )i+in) hi4 the sa4e t(eat4ent? I ,ill ye still see us so4eti4es- DadH Te((y as1ed- eyes on the sil+e( in his hand? I O/ .ou(se- sonG ,e3ll )o tae the /itba? :ee the Ja4 Ta(tsG This 4ade Te((y3s spi(its (ise? He s4iled at his dad- then loo1ed a)ain at the t0oBbob bit? Ali.e 0as beha+in) so st(an)ely- Hen(y .onside(ed- .he.1in) that his tie 0as st(ai)ht as he planned his e9it? :he 0as 2ust sittin) the(e- all bu.1led up? ,ell- he3d said his pie.e- )i+en he( e+e(y (eassu(an.e? He3d be (ound to .he.1 on the 1ids- ta1e the4 out- a sha1e at the =il1 6a(? They li1ed that? O( .hips at 6(attisanni3s? 6ut the(e 0as little to be )ained in tal1in) /u(the( to Ali.e? It 0ould only anta)onise he( and be bad /o( the 1ids? 6est 2ust slip o// 5uietly? Hen(y nipped past the tables? He )a+e the old .unts the eye a)ain? They loo1ed ba.1 at hi4 in .onte4pt? He stole up to thei( table? Tappin) his nose- Hen(y told the4 0ith a .hee(y .oldness- I Ceep that oot ay othe( people3s business- o( yi3ll )it it /u.1in b(o1e- (i)htH The old .ouple 0e(e spee.hless at his auda.ity? Holdin) his sta(e /o( a se.ond- Hen(y )a+e a bea4in) s4ilethen headed th(ou)h the ba.1 doo( to the pub- 0ithout stoppin) to loo1 at Ali.e o( the 1ids? 6est not .ause a s.ene? I 6loody ne(+e- Da+ie Gi(+an shouted and stood up- 4a1in) to /ollo0 Hen(y be/o(e bein) (est(ained by his 0i/e Nessie? I :it doon- Da+ie- dinnae )it in+ol+ed 0i (ubbish? That3s 2ust t(ash- that? Da+ie (elu.tantly too1 his seat? He didn3t /ea( the 4an- but he didn3t 0ant to 4a1e a s.ene in /(ont o/ Nessie? In the ba(- on his 0ay out the /(ont o/ the pub- Hen(y e9.han)ed a /e0 nods and 3ho03sBitB)aun3s? Old Doyle 0as the(e- 0ith one o/ his
10

laddies- Du1e he thou)ht- and so4e othe( nutte(? ,hat a .lan o/ )an)ste(s@ the old boy- bald- /at and t0isted li1e a psy.hoti. 6uddha- Du1e Doyle 0ith his 0ispy- thinnin) hai( still teased up- TeddyBboy style- his bla.1ened teeth and the bi) (in)s on his /in)e(? Gi+in) Hen(y a slo0- sha(1Bli1e nod as he passed? Aye- Hen(y .onside(ed- the best pla.e /o( that .(o0d 0as out he(e@ the s.he4e3s loss 0as the toon3s )ain? The (e+e(en.e the othe( d(in1e(s had /o( the 4en at that table hun) hea+ily in the ai(- 0ith 4o(e 4oney .han)in) hands /o( a .asual )a4e o/ do4inoes than 4ost o/ the4 4ade at the lo.al buildin) sites and /a.to(ies in a 4onth? This had been the pub Hen(y had used sin.e they3d 4o+ed out he(e? Not the nea(est- but his p(e/e(en.e? Dou )ot a de.ent pint o/ Ta(tan :pe.ial? 6ut this 0ould be his last +isit /o( a lon) ti4e? He3d ne+e( (eally li1ed it out he(ehe thou)ht- as he headed out the doo(@ stu.1 in the 4iddle o/ no0he(e- but no- he 0ouldn3t be .o4in) ba.1? 6a.1 outside- Nessie Gi(+an 0as (e.allin) the i4a)es o/ 6ia/(an /a4ine on the telly last ni)ht? They 0ee souls- it 0ould b(ea1 you( hea(t? And the(e 0as that (ubbish- and the(e 0e(e loads li1e hi4? :he .ouldn3t unde(stand 0hy so4e people had 1ids? I That bloody ani4al- she said to he( Da+ie? Da+ie 0as 0ishin) he3d (ea.ted 5ui.1e(- had /ollo0ed the basta(d into the pub? The 4an had been a (eal (o)ue 4ind you@ oli+eBs1inned- 0ith ha(d- shi/ty eyes? Da+ie had ta1en on a lot ha(de( be/o(e- but it 0as all so4e ti4e a)o? I I/ ou( Phil o( Al/ie had been the(e- he 0ouldnae ha+e been so bloody s4a(t- Da+ie said? I ,hen ah see (ubbish li1e that ah 0ish ah 0is youn)e( 4asel/? Fo( /i+e 4inutes- that3s a0 it 0id ta1e ? ? ? .h(ist ? ?? Da+ie Gi(+an stopped in his t(a.1s- unable to belie+e his eyes? The 0ee 1ids had )ot th(ou)h a hole in the 0i(e /en.e and 0e(e s.(a4blin) do0n the ban1 to0a(ds the (i+e(? It 0as shallo0 at this st(et.h- but it had a slopin) )(adient and the odd t(ea.he(ous po.1et o/ depth? I =I::A:G he shouted at the 0o4an on the seat- pointin) /(anti.ally at the spa.e in the 0i(e 4eshin)- I =IND DI7 6AI7N:- 6I CH7I:TG He( bai(ns *A;In blind te((o( Ali.e loo1ed at the spa.e to he( side- sa0 the )ap in the /en.e and (an to0a(ds it? :he sa0 the4 standin) hal/0ay do0n the
11

steep ban1? I D+onneG C34e(e- she pleaded 0ith as 4u.h .o4posu(e as she .ould?

D+onne loo1ed up and )i))led? I NupG she shouted? *A;Te((y had a sti.1? He 0as lashin) at the lon) )(ass on the ban1- .hoppin) it do0n? Ali.e i4plo(ed- I Dou3(e 4issin a0 the s0eeties n 2ui.e? Thi(3s i.e .(ea4 he(eG A li)ht o/ (e.o)nition /illed the .hild(en3s eyes? They s.(a4bled ea)e(ly up the ban1 and th(ou)h the /en.e to0a(ds he(? Ali.e 0anted to batte( the4- she 0anted to th(ash the4 she 0anted to th(ash hi4 Ali.e La0son e9ploded in a sob and hu))ed he( .hild(en in a .(ushin) )(ip- an9iously 1neadin) at thei( .lothes and hai(? I ,hai(e3s the i.eB.(ea4 but- =a- Te((y as1ed? I ,i( 2ist )aunny )it it- son- Ali.e )asped- I 0i( 2ist )aunny )it it? Da+ie and Nessie Gi(+an 0at.hed the b(o1en 0o4an sta))e( a0ay 0ith he( .hild(en- ea.h one )(ipped /i(4ly by the hand- as 2e(1y and /ull o/ li/e as she 0as soundly .(ushed?

Carl ("art. The Wor)s
The pa(ti.les o/ /iled 4etal hun) in the ai(- as thi.1 as dust? Dun.an E0a(t .ould /eel the4 in his lun)s and nost(ils? Dou )ot used to the s4ell thou)h@ it 0as only 0hen it had .o4petition that you be.a4e a0a(e o/ it? No0 it 0as duellin) 0ith the 4o(e 0el.o4e s.ent o/ spon)e and .usta(d 0hi.h 0a/ted th(ou)h the 4a.hine shop /(o4 the .anteen? E+e(y ti4e the s0in) doo(s o/ the 1it.hen /le0 open Dun.an 0as (e4inded that lun.h 0as .lose( and that the 0ee1end 0as app(oa.hin)? He 0o(1ed the lathe de/tly- .heatin) a bit by li/tin) the )ua(d sli)htly- to )et a bette( ed)e on the 4etal he 0as tu(nin)? It 0as pe(+e(se- he thou)ht- but in his (ole as shop ste0a(d he3d ba0l out anybody 0ho t(ied to .ut .o(ne(s by /loutin) the sa/ety (e)ulations in this 0ay? 7is1 losin) so4e /in)e(s /o( a bonus /o( a bun.h o/ (i.h sha(eholde(s li+in) in :u((ey o( so4e0he(eH Fu.1 that- he 0as 4ad? 6ut it 0as the 2ob- the p(o.ess o/ a.tually doin) it? It 0as you( o0n 0o(ld and you li+ed al4ost e9.lusi+ely in it /(o4 nine till /i+eBthi(ty? Dou st(i+ed to 4a1e it bette(- in e+e(y 0ay? A blu( pulled into /o.us /(o4 the ed)e o/ his si)htBline as Tony 7adden 0al1ed past- )o))les and )lo+es o//? Dun.an )lan.ed at his ne0 spa.eBa)e 0at.h? 2?!%? ,hat the /u.1 0as thatH Nea(ly tenBto? Al4ost lun.h hou(? Dun.an .onside(ed a)ain the dile44a he /a.ed- it 0as one he3d en.ounte(ed 4any F(iday 4o(nin)s? The ne0 sin)le /(o4 El+is- The Wonder of You, 0as out today? It had been .onstantly p(e+ie0ed this 0ee1 on 7adio One? Aye- the Cin) 0as ba.1 bi)ti4e? In the Ghetto and us!icious "inds 0e(e bette(- but they3d both pea1ed at nu4be( t0o? This one 0as 4o(e .o44e(.ial- a sin)Balon) ballad- and Dun.an /an.ied it to )o to the top spot? In his head he .ould hea( people d(un1enly sin)in) alon) 0ith it- see the4 slo0B
13

dan.in) to it? I/ you .ould 4a1e the people sin) and dan.e- you 0e(e on a 0inne(? Dinne( hou( 0as si9ty po9y 4inutes- and the Nu4be( One bus to Leith and A(ds (e.o(d shop too1 /i/teen 4inutes the(e and the sa4e ba.1? :u//i.ient ti4e to buy the (e.o(d and )et a /illed (oll and a .up o/ tea /(o4 the Canasta? It had been a st(ai)ht .hoi.e bet0een pu(.hase o/ the sin)le o( the leisu(ely en2oy4ent o/ a pie and pint up at :pei(s3s 6a(the nea(est pub to the /a.to(y? 6ut no0 the teasin) .anteen s4ells announ.ed that it 0as F(iday- and the bi) nosh 0as .o4in) into the pi.tu(e? They al0ays 4ade a spe.ial e//o(t on a F(iday- be.ause you 0e(e 4o(e in.lined to )o to the pub at dinne( ti4e then- 0hi.h 4ade hi)h p(odu.ti+ity and the /inal a/te(noon o/ the 0ee1 uneasy bed/ello0s? Dun.an .li.1ed the 4a.hine o//? El+is Aa(on P(esley? The Cin)? No .ontest? The (e.o(d it 0ould be? Loo1in) at his 0at.h a)ain- he ele.ted to head st(ai)ht out in his o+e(alls- i4patiently pun.hin) the .lo.1 and sp(intin) to .at.h the bus outside the /a.to(y )ates? Dun.an had ne)otiated 0ith the 4ana)e4ent to p(o+ide lo.1e(s- so that 0o(1e(s .ould t(a+el in 3.i++ies3 and .han)e into thei( 0o(1in) )ea(? In p(a.ti.e- /e0- in.ludin) hi4sel/- bothe(ed- e9.ept i/ they 0e(e headin) st(ai)ht out into to0n on F(iday a/te( 0o(1? :ettlin) do0n upstai(s at the ba.1 and (e.o+e(in) his pu//- Dun.an lit up a 7e)al- thin1in) that i/ he )ot a .opy o/ The Wonder of You he3d play it toni)ht up the Ta(tan Club 0ith =a(ia? The pu(( /(o4 the en)ine o/ the +ehi.le see4ed to e.ho his o0n .ontent4ent as he bas1ed in the 0a(4 /u)? Aye- it 0as shapin) up to be a )ood 0ee1end? Cillie 0e(e o+e( at Dun/e(4line the 4o(n and To44y =.Lean 0as /it a)ain? The ,ee =an 0ould p(o+ide the .(osses that Eddie =o((ison and this ne0 boy =athie th(i+ed on? =athie and that othe( youn) )uy- =.:he((y they .alled hi4- they both loo1ed p(o4isin) playe(sDun.an had al0ays li1ed )oin) to Dun/e(4line- .onside(in) the4 a so(t o/ eastB.oast +e(sion o/ Cil4a(no.1F both tea4s /(o4 s4all to0ns in 4inin) a(eas 0ho3d a.hie+ed (eal )lo(y in the last ten yea(s and had battled 0ith so4e o/ Eu(ope3s /inest? I These bloody buses a(e useless- an old )uy in a bunnet- pu//in) on a Capstan shouted o+e( at hi4b(ea1in) his thou)hts- I T0entyB/i+e 4inutes ah3+e 0aited? They should ne+e( hu+ ta1en oa/ the t(a4s?

I Aye- (i)ht enou)h- Dun.an s4iled- easin) slo0ly ba.1 into his anti.ipation o/ the 0ee1end? I Ni+i( hu+ ta1en oa/ the t(a4s- the old )uy (epeated to hi4sel/? :in.e his Edinbu()h e9ile- Dun.an )ene(ally di+ided his :atu(day
1/

a/te(noon ti4e bet0een Easte( 7oad and Tyne.astle? He3d al0ays p(e/e((ed the latte(- not /o( .on+enien.e but be.ause it al0ays b(ou)ht ba.1 4e4o(ies o/ that )(eat day ba.1 in $"! 0hen- on the last )a4e o/ the season- Hea(ts only had to d(a0 0ith Cillie at ho4e to 0in the .ha4pionship? They .ould e+en a//o(d to lose oneBnil? Cil4a(no.1 needed to 0in by t0o )oals to li/t the /la) /o( the /i(st ti4e in thei( histo(y? Nobody outside Ay(shi(e )a+e the4 4u.h o/ a .han.e but 0hen 6obby Fe()uson 4ade that )(eat sa+e /(o4 Alan Go(don- Dun.an 1ne0 it 0as )oin) to be thei( day? And 0hen he stayed out d(in1in) /o( th(ee days a/te( they 0on- =a(ia didn3t .o4plain? They3d 2ust )ot en)a)ed- so it 0as out o/ o(de(- but she too1 it 0ell? And that 0as the 4a(+el o/ he(- she unde(stood that- 1ne0 0hat it 4eant to hi4 0ithout hi4 ha+in) to say- 1ne0 that he 0asn3t a libe(tyBta1e(? The Wonder of You. Dun.an thou)ht o/ =a(ia- ho0 tou.hed by 4a)i. he 0as- ho0 blessed he 0as to ha+e /ound he(? Ho0 he3d play the son) to he( toni)ht- he( and the 0ee 4an? Ali)htin) at Jun.tion :t(eet- Dun.an .onside(ed ho0 4usi. had al0ays been the /ul.(u4 o/ his li/e- ho0 he al0ays th(obbed 0ith a .hildBli1e e9.ite4ent 0hen it .a4e to buyin) a (e.o(d? It 0as Ch(ist4as 4o(nin) e+e(y 0ee1? That sense o/ anti.ipation@ you didn3t 1no0 i/ 0hat you 0anted 0ould be in- o( sold out o( 0hate+e(? He 4i)ht e+en ha+e to )o up to 6andpa(ts on :atu(day 4o(nin) to se.u(e it? As he headed to0a(ds A(ds shop- his th(oat be)an to .onst(i.t and his hea(t pounded? Pullin) on the doo( handle- he )ot inside and 4ade /o( the .ounte(? 6i) LiE 0as the(e- thi.1 4a1eBup and hel4et o/ sti//- la.5ue(ed hai(- he( /a.e li)htin) up in (e.o)nition? :he held up a .opy o/ The Wonder of You. # Thou)ht ye 4i)ht be loo1in /o( this- Dun.an- she said- then 0hispe(ed- I Ah 1ept it ba.1 /o( ye? I A0 b(illiant- LiE- yi( a )enius- he s4iled- ea)e(ly pa(tin) 0ith his tenBbob note? I That3s a d(in1 you o0e 4e- she said- (aisin) he( eyeb(o0s- a se(ious unde(lay to he( /li(ty bante(? Dun.an /o(.ed a nonB.o44ittal s4ile? I I/ it )ets tae nu4be( one- he (eplied- t(yin) not to sound as dis.on.e(ted as he /elt? They said you al0ays )ot the .o4eBon 4o(e 0hen you 0e(e 4a((ied- and it 0as t(uehe (e/le.ted? O( 4aybe you 2ust noti.ed 4o(e? LiE lau)hed /a( too enthusiasti.ally at his th(o0a0ay line- 4a1in) Dun.an all the 4o(e 1een to lea+e the shop? As he 0ent out the doo( he hea(d he( say- I Ah3ll (e4ind ye aboot that d(in1G
1)

Dun.an /elt a bit un.o4/o(table /o( anothe( .ouple o/ 4inutes? He thou)ht about LiE- but e+en he(e- 2ust in the st(eet outside the (e.o(d shop- he .ouldn3t (e4e4be( 0hat she loo1ed li1e? No0 he .ould only see =a(ia? 6ut he3d )ot the (e.o(d? It 0as a )ood o4en? Cillie 0ould su(ely 0in- althou)h 0ith these po0e( .uts you didn3t 1no0 /o( ho0 lon) /ootball 0ould be on as the ni)hts 0ould sta(t to d(a0 in soon? It 0as a s4all p(i.e to pay thou)h- /o( )ettin) (id o/ that basta(d Heath and the To(ies? It 0as b(illiant that those 0an1e(s .ouldn3t ta1e the piss out o/ the 0o(1in) 4an any lon)e(? His pa(ents had 4ade sa.(i/i.es- dete(4ined that he 0ouldn3t /ollo0 his /athe( do0n the pit? They insisted that he 0as app(enti.ed- that he )ot a t(ade behind hi4? :o Dun.an had been sent to li+e 0ith an aunt in Glas)o0 0hile he se(+ed his ti4e in a 4a.hine shop in Cinnin) Pa(1? Glas)o0 0as bi)- b(ash- +ib(ant and +iolent to his s4allBto0n sensibilities- but he 0as easyB)oin) and popula( in the /a.to(y? His best pal at 0o(1 0as a )uy .alled =att =ui(- /(o4 Go+an- 0ho 0as a /anati.al 7an)e(s suppo(te( and a .a(dB.a((yin) .o44unist? E+e(ybody at his /a.to(y suppo(ted 7an)e(s- and as a so.ialist he 1ne0 and 0as sha4ed by the /a.t that he- li1e his 0o(14ates- had obtained his app(enti.eship th(ou)h his /a4ily3s =asoni. .onne.tions? His o0n /athe( sa0 no .ont(adi.tion bet0een /(ee4ason(y and so.ialis4- and 4any o/ the Ib(o9 (e)ula(s /(o4 the /a.to(y /loo( 0e(e a.ti+e so.ialists- e+en in so4e .ases- li1e =att- .a(dB.a((yin) .o44unists? I The /i(st basta(ds that 0ould )et it 0ould be those .unts in the 8ati.anhe3d enthusiasti.ally e9plain- I (i)ht up a)ainst the 0a3 0i they /u.1e(s? =att 1ept Dun.an (i)ht about the thin)s that 4atte(ed- ho0 to d(ess- 0hat dan.e halls to )o to- 0ho the (aEo(Bboys 0e(e- and i4po(tantly- 0ho thei( )i(l/(iends 0e(e and 0ho- the(e/o(e- to a+oid dan.in) 0ith? Then the(e 0as a t(ip to Edinbu()h- on a ni)ht out 0ith so4e 4ates- 0hen they 0ent to that Toll.(oss dan.ehall and he sa0 the )i(l in the blue d(ess? E+e(y ti4e he loo1ed at he(- it see4ed that his b(eath 0as bein) .(ushed out o/ hi4? E+en thou)h Edinbu()h appea(ed 4o(e (ela9ed than Glas)o0- =att .lai4in) that (aEo(s and 1ni+es 0e(e a (a(ity- the(e had been a b(a0l? One bu(ly )uy had pun.hed anothe( 4an- and 0anted to /ollo0 up? Dun.an and =att inte(+ened and 4ana)ed to help .al4 thin)s do0n? Fo(tunately- one o/ the )(ate/ul bene/a.to(s o/ thei( inte(+ention 0as a )uy in the sa4e .o4pany as the )i(l Dun.an had been

1#

hypnotised by all ni)ht- but had been too shy to as1 to dan.e? He .ould see =a(ia then- the .ut o/ he( .hee1bones and he( habit o/ lo0e(in) he( eyes )i+in) an appea(an.e o/ a((o)an.e 0hi.h .on+e(sation 0ith he( 5ui.1ly dispelled? It 0as e+en bette(- the )uy he be/(iended 0as .alled Lenny- and he 0as =a(ia3s b(othe(? =a(ia 0as no4inally a Catholi.- thou)h he( /athe( had an une9plained bitte(ness to0a(ds p(iests and had stopped )oin) to .hu(.h? E+entually his 0i/e and thei( .hild(en /ollo0ed suit? None the less- Dun.an 0o((ied about his o0n /a4ily3s (ea.tion to the 4a((ia)e- and 0as 4o+ed to )o do0n to Ay(shi(e to dis.uss it 0ith the4? Dun.an3s /athe( 0as a 5uiet and thou)ht/ul 4an? O/ten his shyness 0as .on/used 0ith )(u//ness- an i4p(ession a..entuated by his siEe ;he 0as 0ell o+e( si9 /oot tall<- 0hi.h Dun.an had inhe(ited alon) 0ith his st(a0Bblonde hai(? His /athe( listened in silen.e to his deposition- )i+in) the o..asional nod in suppo(t? ,hen he did spea1- his tone 0as that o/ a 4an 0ho /elt he had been )(ossly 4is(ep(esented? I Ah don3t hate Catholi.s- son- his /athe( insisted- I Ah3+e nothin) a)ainst anybody3s (eli)ion? It3s those s0ines in the 8ati.an0ho 1eep people doon- 1eep the4 in i)no(an.e so that they .an 1eep /illin) thi( .o//e(s- that3s the s.u4 ah hate? 7eassu(ed on this point- Dun.an de.ided to 1eep his /(ee4ason(y /(o4 =a(ia3s /athe(- 0ho see4ed to detest 4asons as 4u.h as he did p(iests? They 4a((ied in the 7e)iste( O//i.e in Edinbu()h3s 8i.to(ia 6uildin)s and had a (e.eption in the upstai(s (oo4s o/ a Co0)ate pub? Dun.an 0as 0o((ied about an O(an)e- o( e+en a 7ed spee.h /(o4 =att =ui(- so he as1ed his best pal /(o4 s.hool ba.1 in Ay(shi(e- 7onnie La4bie- to do the honou(s? An/o(tunately- 7onnie had )ot p(etty d(un1- and 4ade an antiBEdinbu()h spee.h- 0hi.h upset so4e )uests and late( on- as the d(in1 /lo0ed- p(e.ipitated a /istB/i)ht? Dun.an and =a(ia too1 that as thei( .ue to head o// to the (oo4 they had boo1ed at a Po(tobello )uest house? 6a.1 at the /a.to(y and ba.1 at the 4a.hine- Dun.an 0as sin)in) The Wonder of You, the tune spinnin) in a loop in his head- as 4etal yielded to the .uttin) ed)e o/ the lathe? Then the li)ht /(o4 the hu)e 0indo0s abo+e tu(ned to shado0? :o4ebody 0as standin) ne9t to hi4? He .li.1ed o// the 4a.hine and loo1ed up? Dun.an didn3t (eally 1no0 the 4an? He had seen hi4 in the .anteen- and on the bus- ob+iously a nonB s4o1e(- al0ays sittin) do0nstai(s? Dun.an had an idea that they li+ed in the sa4e s.he4e17

the 4an )ettin) o// at the stop be/o(e hi4? The )uy 0as about /i+eBten- 0ith sho(t b(o0n hai( and busy eyes? As Dun.an (e.alled- he usually had a .hee(y- ea(thy de4eanou(- at odds 0ith his loo1sF .on+entionally handso4e enou)h to be a..o4panied by na(.issis4? No0- thou)h- the 4an stood be/o(e hi4 in an e9t(e4e state o/ a)itation? Apset and an9ious- he blu(ted I Dun.an E0a(tH :hop :te0a(dH They both a.1no0led)ed the da/tness o/ the (hy4e and s4iled at ea.h othe(? I I a(t E0a(t shop ste0a(d? And you a(tH Dun.an .ontinued the 2o1e? He 1ne0 this (outine ba.10a(ds? 6ut the 4an 0asn3t lau)hin) any lon)e(? He )asped out b(eathlessly I ,ullie 6i((ell? =a 0i/e ? ? ? :and(a ? ? ? )one intae labou( ? ? ? Abe(.(o4bie ? ? ? eh3ll no lit ays )o up tae the hoaspital ? ? ? 4en oa/ si.1 ? ? ? the C(o/ton o(de( ? ? ? says that i/ ah 0al1 oa/ the 2oab ah 0al1 oot /o( )ood ? ? ? In a .ouple o/ beats- indi)nation 4ana)ed to settle in Dun.an3s .hest li1e a b(on.hial ti.1le? He )(ound his teeth /o( a se.ond- then spo1e 0ith 5uiet autho(ity? I Dou )it tae that hoaspital (i)ht no0- ,ullie? Thi(3s only one 4an that3ll be 0al1in oa/ this 2oab /i( )ood n that3s Abe(.(o4bie? 7est assu(ed- you3ll )it a /ull apolo)y /i( thisG I :hould ah .lo.1 oa/ o( noH ,ullie 6i((ell as1ed- a shi+e( in his eye 4a1in) his /a.e t0it.h? I Dinnae 0o((y aboot that- ,ullie- 2ist )o? Get a ta9i and as1 the boy /o( the (e.eipt and ah3ll pit it th(ou)h the union? ,ullie 6i((ell nodded )(ate/ully and e9ited in haste? He 0as al(eady out the /a.to(y as Dun.an put do0n his tools and 0al1ed slo0ly to the payphone in the .anteen- .allin) the Con+eno( /i(st- and then the 6(an.h :e.(eta(y- the .lan1in) sounds o/ 0ashin) pots and .utle(y in his ea(? Then he 0ent di(e.tly to the ,o(1s =ana)e(- =( Catte(- and /iled a /o(4al )(ie+an.e? Catte( listened .al4ly- but in 4ountin) pe(tu(bation at Dun.an E0a(t3s .o4plaint? The C(o/ton o(de( had to )o out- that 0as essential? And E0a(t- 0ell- he .ould )et e+e(y 4an on the shop /loo( to 0al1 o// the 2ob in suppo(t o/ this 6i((ell /ello0? ,hat in the na4e o/ God 0as that .lo0n Abe(.(o4bie thin1in) aboutH Ce(tainly- Catte( had told hi4 to 4a1e su(e that o(de( 0ent out by any 4eans ne.essa(y- and yes- he had a.tually used those te(4s- but the idiot had ob+iously lost all sense- all pe(spe.ti+e? Catte( studied the tall- openB/a.ed 4an opposite hi4? Catte( had en.ounte(ed ha(d 4en 0ith an a)enda in the shop ste0a(d3s (ole 4any
1*

ti4es? They hated hi4- detested the /i(4 and e+e(ythin) it stood /o(? E0a(t 0asn3t one o/ the4? The(e 0as a

0a(4 )lo0 in his eyes- a so(t o/ .al4 (i)hteousness 0hi.h- 0hen you en)a)ed it /o( a 0hile- see4ed to be 4o(e about 4is.hie/ and hu4ou( than an)e(? I The(e see4s to ha+e been a 4isunde(standin)- =( E0a(tGatte( said slo0ly- o//e(in) a s4ile 0hi.h he hoped 0as .onta)ious? I I3ll e9plain the position to =( Abe(.(o4bie? I Good- Dun.an nodded- then added- I =u.h app(e.iated? Fo( his pa(t- Dun.an had 5uite a bit o/ ti4e /o( Catte(- 0ho had al0ays .o4e a.(oss as a 4an o/ a basi.ally /ai( and 2ust disposition? ,hen he did i4pose the 4o(e biEa((e di.tates /(o4 abo+e- you .ould tell that he didn3t do it 0ith 4u.h (elish? And it .ouldn3t be too 4u.h /un t(yin) to 1eep ba4pots li1e Abe(.(o4bie in line? Abe(.(o4bie? ,hat a nutte(? On his 0ay ba.1 to the 4a.hine shop- Dun.an E0a(t .ouldn3t (esist po1in) his head into the pen- bo9ed o// /(o4 the /a.to(y /loo(- 0hi.h Abe(.(o4bie .alled his o//i.e? I Than1s- Ta(nG Abe(.(o4bie loo1ed up at hi4 /(o4 the )(easeBpape( 0o(1sheets sp(a0led a.(oss the des1? I ,hat /o(H he as1ed- t(yin) to /ei)n su(p(ise- but his /a.e (eddened? He3d been ha(assed- unde( p(essu(e- and hadn3t been thin1in) st(ai)ht about 6i((ell? And he3d played (i)ht into that 6olshie .unt E0a(t3s hands? Dun.an E0a(t s4iled )(a+ely? I Fo( t(yin) to 1eep ,ullie 6i((ell on the 2ob on a F(iday a/te(noon 0ith the boys all it.hin) tae do0n tools? A )(eat pie.e o/ 4ana)e4ent? I3+e put it (i)ht /o( ye- I3+e 2ust told hi4 to )o- he added s4u)ly? A pellet o/ hate e9ploded in Abe(.(o4bie3s .hest- sp(eadin) to the e9t(e4ities o/ his /in)e(s and toes? He be)an to /lush and sha1e? He .ouldn3t help it? That basta(d E0a(tF 0ho the /u.1 did he thin1 he 0asH I Ah (un this /u.1in shop /loo(G Dou bloody 0ell 4ind thatG Dun.an )(inned in the /a.e o/ Abe(.(o4bie3s outbu(st? I :o((y- Ta(n- the .a+al(y3s on its 0ay? Abe(.(o4bie 0ilted at that 4o4ent- not at Dun.an3s 0o(ds but at the si)ht o/ a stony/a.ed Catte( appea(in) behind hi4- as i/ on .ue? ,o(se still- he .a4e into the s4all bo9 0ith Con+eno( 6obby A//le.1? A//le.1 0as a s5uat bull o/ a 4an 0ho had a bea(in) o/ inti4idatin) /e(o.ity 0hen e+en 4ildly i((itated? 6ut no0Abe(.(o4bie .ould instantly tell- the Con+eno( 0as in a state o/ in.andes.ent (a)e? Dun.an s4iled at Abe(.(o4bie and 0in1ed at A//le.1 be/o(e
19

lea+in) and .losin) the doo( behind the4? The thin ply0ood doo( p(o+ed little ba((ie( to the sound o/ A//le.13s /u(y? =i(a.ulously- e+e(y lathe and d(ill 4a.hine on the shop /loo( 0as s0it.hed o//- one by one- (epla.ed by the sound o/ lau)hte(- 0hi.h spilled li1e a (ush o/ sp(in) .olou(in) a.(oss the painted )(ey .on.(ete /a.to(y /loo(?

*ill# *irrell. T"o Ro#al +ests
Dun.an E0a(t had his youn) son- Ca(l- dan.in) on top o/ the sideboa(d to a Count 6asie (e.o(d? El+is had been p(etty 4u.h 0o(n out that 0ee1end and Dun.an had a )ood d(in1 in hi4- ha+in) 2ust )ot ba.1 /(o4 Fi/e 0he(e Cillie and Dun/e(4line had sha(ed the points? He and his son 0e(e no0 the sa4e hei)ht- and the boy 0as 4i4i.1in) hi4 dan.in)? =a(ia .a4e into the /(ont (oo4 and 2oined the4? :he pi.1ed the li+ely 1id o// the sideboa(d and 0his1ed hi4 a.(oss the /loo( 0hile sin)in)- I 7eal (oyal blood .o4es in (eal s4all a4ounts- I )ot t0o (oyal pests- I )ot Ca(l- I )ot Dun.an ? ? ? The boy had the E0a(t st(a0Bblonde hai(? Dun.an 0onde(ed 0hethe( o( not Ca(l 0ould )et stu.1 0ith his o0n /a.to(y ni.1na4e- 3The =il1y 6a( Cid3- 0hen he sta(ted s.hool? Dun.an hoped- as =a(ia lo0e(ed the boy to the /loo(- that neithe( o/ the4 0ould need )lasses? Feelin) =a(ia3s a(4s slidin) (ound his 0aist- Dun.an tu(ned and they sha(ed an e4b(a.e and a lon) 1iss? Ca(l didn3t 1no0 0hat to do- and /eelin) le/t out- he )(abbed at thei( le)s? The doo(bell 0ent and =a(ia headed out to ans0e( it as Dun.an too1 the oppo(tunity to put on El+is on.e 4o(e- this ti4e In the Ghetto. =a(ia sa0 a sli)htly sta(tledBloo1in)- s5ua(eB2a0ed 4an on the step? He 0as a st(an)e( to he( and he 0as .lut.hin) a bottle o/ 0his1y and a pi.tu(e- 0hi.h see4ed to be d(a0n by a .hild? He 0as ob+iously a bit d(un1 and elated- thou)h a little sel/B.ons.ious? I Eh e9.use 4e =(s- eh- E0a(t- eh- is you( 4an inH he as1ed? I Aye ? ? ? hold on the no0- =a(ia said- .allin) Dun.an 0ho 5ui.1ly ushe(ed ,ullie 6i((ell in- int(odu.in) hi4 to =a(ia as a /(iend /(o4 0o(1? ,ullie 6i((ell 0as )(ati/ied but a bit e4ba((assed at Dun.an3s
(1

/a4ilia(ity? I =( E0a(t- eh- Johnny Da0son )ied 4e you( add(ess? ? ? 2ist popped (oond tae say than1s /o( e+e(ythin) the othe( day- ,ullie .ou)hed ne(+ously? I Ah hea(d Abe(.(o4bie 0as a lau)hin) sto.1? Dun.an s4iled- thou)h in t(uth- he3d been /eelin) a bit )uilty at his pa(t in Abe(.(o4bie3s hu4iliation? The 4an dese(+ed to be ta1en do0n a pe)- and aye- Dun.an had 0anted to )loat? Then he sa0 the pain on Abe(.(o4bie3s /a.e as he 0al1ed a.(oss the .a( pa(1 at /inishin) ti4e? Ta(n Abe(.(o4bie 0as no(4ally last to

lea+e but that teaBti4e he .ouldn3t )et out the doo( 5ui.1 enou)h? One thin) Dun.an3s /athe( had told hi4 0as to t(y not to be too 5ui.1 in passin) 2ud)4ent on othe(s- e+en you( ene4ies? Dou ne+e( 1ne0 0hat 1ind o/ shite they had )oin) on in thei( o0n li+es? The(e 0as so4ethin) about Abe(.(o4bie- so4ethin) .(ushed- and by so4ethin) a lot bi))e( than that day3s e+ents? 6ut /u.1 hi4- ,ullie 6i((ell3s 0i/e 0as ha+in) a baby? ,ho the /u.1 0as Abe(.(o4bie to say he .ouldn3t be 0ith the 0o4anH I Nae 4ai( than he dese(+es- ,ullie- Dun.an )(inned 0aspishly- I and it3s Dun.an- /o( .h(ist sa1e? Aye- the 5uee( /elly 0isnae too pleased- but let3s no 4ention his na4e in this hoose? 6ut ho03s the 4issusH Any ne0sH he as1ed- loo1in) ,ullie up and do0n and 1no0in) the ans0e(? I A 0ee boy? :e+en and a hal/ pounds? It3s ou( se.ond 0ee laddie? Ca4e oot 1i.1in and s.(ea4in- and eh3s ne+e( stoaped sin.e- ,ullie e9plained 0ith a ne(+ous )(in? I No li1e the /i(st yin? He3s 5uiet? A)es 0i this yin he(e- he (e4a(1ed- s4ilin) at Ca(l- 0ho 0as e9a4inin) this st(an)e(- thou)h stayin) .lose to his 4othe(? I De )ot any 4ai(H Dun.an lau)hed loudly and =a(ia (olled he( eyes? I This one3s 4ai( than enou)h- Dun.an told hi4- then d(opped his +oi.e? I ,e 0e(e )aunny pa.1 it a0 in be/o(e he .a4e alon)- )et t0o ti.1ets tae A4e(i.a- hi(e a .a( and d(i+e a.(oss it? :ee Ne0 Do(1- Ne0 O(leans- =e4phis- Nash+ille- 8e)as- the lot? Then 0e had ou( 0ee a..ident he(e- he (ubbed Ca(l3s 4il1yB0hite head o/ hai(? I :top .allin u4 that Dun.an- he3ll )(o0 up /eelin) un0anted- =a(ia 0hispe(ed? Dun.an (e)a(ded his son? I Na0- 0e .ouldnae ta1e ba.1 0u( 4ad 0ee =a(.h Ha(e- .ould 0e- palH I Pit on El+is- Dad- Ca(l u()ed? Dun.an bas1ed in the boy3s p(o4ptin)s? I G(eat idea son- but ah3ll 2ust )et a /e0 bee(s and so4e )lesses and 0e3ll 0et the bai(n3s heid? E9po(t o1ay- ,ullieH
((

I Aye- /ine- Dun.an- and )et so4e 0ee yins /o( the 0his1y he(e n a0? I :ounds /ine tae 4e- Dun.an nodded- headin) /o( the 1it.hen- 0in1in) at =a(ia as Ca(l /ollo0ed hi4? ,ullie hal/Bapolo)eti.ally passed =a(ia the pi.tu(e he 0as holdin)? It 0as a .hild3s balloon and 4at.hsti.1 paintin) o/ a /a4ily? =a(ia held it up to the li)ht and studied the a..o4panyin) 0o(ds? It 0as a sto(y a ne0 baby by ,illia4 6i((ell a)e /i+e sau)hton p(i4a(y s.hool told to ,endy hines a)ed ele+en and 0(itten out by 6obby :ha(p a)ed ei)ht? 4y na4e is ,illia4 but i )it .ald 6illy 4y dads 6illy t0o an 0e 0ill ha+ a ne0 baby- i li1e /ootball an Hibs a( the best ti4 dad ta1e 4e to see the4 but no the ne0 baby .os o/ it been in a 1ot still play sin 2ohnsin 4u4 has a /i(e an he( no4 is :and(a 6i((ell /at .os o/ baby? i li+e in a bi) hoos 0ith a 0indo i ha+ a )u(l/(end .all :ally she is a)e si+in in a bi) .las 4iste( .olins ne9t do( is old I It3s )(eat- =a(ia said to hi4? I Thi( b(illiant at that s.hool? They )it a0 the di//e(ent a)es tae help the tea.he(s help the 0ee yins- ,ullie e9plained? I That3s )ood- .ause oo( yin3s )aun at the end ay the su44e(- =a(ia told hi4? I Dou( eldest- eh 4ust be a b(i)ht 1id- she .ooed? P(ide and d(in1 .onspi(ed to lend ,ullie3s /a.e a healthy /lush? I Eh hud it done /o( 4e .o4in ba.1 /ae the hoaspital? Aye- ah thin1 6illy3s )aunny be the b(ainy one- and this ne0 yin- 7obe(t 0i( .allin hi4- he3ll be the /i)hte(? Aye- eh .a4e oot 1i.1in n s.(ea4in- to(e the 0i/e bad ? ? ? ,ullie said- then blushed in =a(ia3s p(esen.e- I eh so((y ??? ah 4ean ? ? ? =a(ia 2ust lau)hed hea(tily- 0a+in) hi4 a0ay as Dun.an (etu(ned
(3

0ith the d(in1s on a Doun)e(s t(ay he3d ta1en one d(un1en ni)ht /(o4 the Ta(tan Club? 6illy 6i((ell had sta(ted the s.hool last yea(? ,ullie 0as p(oud o/ his son- thou)h he had to .onstantly 0at.h hi4 0ith 4at.hes? The laddie see4ed obsessed 0ith /i(e- li)htin) the4 in the )a(den- on the 0aste)(oundany0he(e he .ould- and he3d al4ost set the house ablaEe one ni)ht? I It3s )ood that he li1es /i(e thou)h ,ullie- Dun.an said- the d(in1 ta1in) e//e.t- toppin) up 0hat he3d al(eady had- I Apollo- the )od o3 /i(e is also the )od o3 li)ht? I Good- .ause thi(3d3+e been li)ht a0(i)ht i/ they .u(tains had )one up ??? I It3s that (e+olutiona(y i4pulse thou)h- ,ullie- so4eti4es you3+e )oat tae dest(oy it a0- 2ust bu(n the bloody lot doon- be/o(e ye .an sta(t a)ain- Dun.an lau)hed as he pou(ed 4o(e 0his1y?

I Nonsense- =a(ia s.o//ed- loo1in) )(i4ly at the la()e 4easu(e Dun.an had pou(ed- splashin) le4onade into the )lass to dilute the spi(it? Dun.an passed anothe( tu4ble( o+e( to ,ullie? I Ah34 2ist sayin ??? the sun3s aboot /i(e- but it3s aboot li)ht and healin) as 0ell? =a(ia 0as ha+in) none o/ it? I ,ullie3d need healin a0(i)ht i/ eh 0o1e up 0i thi(dBde)(ee bu(ns- she told hi4? ,ullie 0as /eelin) )uilty that he 0as bein) unintentionally a bit ha(d on his son- in /(ont o/ people he ha(dly 1ne0? I Eh3s a )ood 0ee /elly but- ah 4ean ye t(y tae tea.h thu4 (i)ht /ae 0(on) ??? he slu((ed- hi4sel/ no0 /eelin) the d(in1 and the ti(edness? I It3s a di//i.ult 0o(ld no0- no li1e the yin 0e )(e0 up in- Dun.an said? De ne+e( 1no0 0hat tae tea.h the4? Ah 4ean- the(e3s the basi. stu// li1e ba.1 up yi( 4ates- ne+e( .(oss a pi.1et line ? ? ? I Ni+i( hit a lassie- ,ullie nodded? I De/initely- Dun.an a)(eed ste(nly- as =a(ia loo1ed at hi4 0ith a youB2ustBt(yBitBpal e9p(ession- I Ni+i( shop anybody tae the polis ? ? ? I ??? neithe( /(iend no( /oe- ,ullie added? I That3s 0hat ah thin1 ah3ll dae- (epla.e the ten .o44and4ents 0i 4a ain ten .o44and4ents? They3d be bette( /o( 1ids thin that :po.1- o( any ay thai4? 6uy a (e.o(d e+e(y 0ee1- that3d be one o3 4ine ??? ye .annae )o a 0ee1 0ithoot a )ood tune tae loo1 /o(0a(d tae ??? I I/ you 0ant tae )i+e yi( sons so4e 1ind ay .ode tae li+e by- 0hat
(/

about t(y not tae line the po.1ets o/ the b(e0e(s and the boo1ies too 4u.h- =a(ia lau)hed? J :o4e thin)s a(e a lot ha(de( than othe(s- Dun.an +entu(ed to ,ullie- 0ho nodded sa)ely? They sat up 4ost o/ the ni)ht d(in1in)- (e4inis.in) about 0he(e they3d .o4e /(o4 be/o(e the slu4B.lea(an.e /lats? They all a)(eed that they 0e(e the best thin) that had happened to the 0o(1in) .lasses? =a(ia 0as a Toll.(oss )i(l- 0hile ,ullie and his 0i/e .a4e /(o4 Leith +ia the ,est G(anton p(e/abs? They3d been o//e(ed =ui(house but they 0ent /o( this .ause it 0as nea(e( :and(a3s 4othe( 0ho had been ill and 0ho li+ed in Chesse(? I ,e3(e a.(oss in the aulde( pa(t ay the s.he4e but- ,ullie said se4iBapolo)eti.ally- it isnae as s4a(t as this? Dun.an t(ied not to /eel supe(io(- but that 0as the .onsensus in the a(eaF the ne0e( /lats 0e(e the best deal? The E0a(ts- li1e othe( /a4ilies in the a(ea- en2oyed thei( ai(y /lat? All thei( nei)hbou(s .o44ented on the unde(/loo( heatin)- 0he(e you .ould heat up the 0hole /lat 0ith 2ust a .li.1 o/ the s0it.h? =a(ia3s dad had (e.ently died o/ T6 /(o4 Toll.(oss3s da4p tene4ents@ no0 all that 0as a thin) o/ the past? Dun.an lo+ed those bi) 0a(4 tiles unde( the .a(pet? Dou put you( /eet unde( that /i(eside (u) and it 0as shee( lu9u(y? Then as 0inte( set in and the /i(st bills .a4e th(ou)h the post- the .ent(alBheatin) syste4s in the s.he4e .li.1ed o//@ syn.h(onised to su.h a de)(ee it 0as al4ost li1e they 0e(e ope(ated by one 4aste( s0it.h?

Andre" -allo"a#. The Man of the

ouse

It 0is 0hen it 0is one ay the best ti4es 0hin ah34 1neelin oan the /lai( n ah hud the Beano oan one ay the bi) .hai(s soas that naebody .ould bothe( 4e n ah3+e )ot a .ho.olate bis.uit n a )lass ay 4il1 oan the 0ee stool n 4uh Dad3s sittin in the othe( .hai(- (eadin ehs pape( n 4uh =a3s 4a1in) the tea n 4uh =a- she3s the best .oo1 in the 0o(ld .os she .an 4a1e the best .hips n 4uh Dad3s the best dad in the 0o(ld .os he .ould batte( anybody n he 0as on.e )aunny batte( Paul =.Ca(tney .ause 4uh =a li1es hi4 and he 0as )aunny 4a((y =a but Dad 4ai((ied he( /i(st n i/ eh hudnae ah3d3+e been in the 6eatles? :heena3s in he( .ot ? ? ? 4a1in a noise- he( /a.e a0 (id? C(y .(y .(y ??? that3s he( n she3s so4eti4es al0ays )(eetin- 2ist li1e Ch(ist4as- 4a Dad sais- no li1e 4e .ause ah34 bi)- ah34 at the s.hool no0G Ah 0is in the 0a(? Te((y )(et at the s.hool oan the /i(st day ah ni+i( )(et but Te((y did- )(eBtinB/aeBha.ed TehB(ay ? ? ? sittin oan the plat/o(4 0hai(e =iss =un(o hus he( des1 and eh )(et n )(et? =iss =un(o hud hi4 oan he( 1nee and that 0as lu.1y /o( Te((y? Ah34 )aunny 4a((y =iss =un(o be.ause she s4ells ni.e and is 1ind n ah pit 4a ai(4 (oond Te((y .ause eh3s 4a pal n ah telt u4 tae t(y n be a bi) boy n Te((y 0is /ea(t that ehs 4a 0idnae .o4e ba.1 but ah 1ent 4ines 0ould .ause she said 0e3d )o /o( a .one at =( ,hippy3s? Auntie =ayB(ay had a .ana(y ? ? ? Paul =.Ca(tney3s )ittin batte(edG Eh3s )ittin batte(ed (i)ht up by 4e n 4a DadG 6an)G Pho0G =iss =un(o said that it3s a0(i)ht Te((y- yu+ )oat And(e0 he(e? Ah 0is bein bi)? Ap the le) ay he( d(a0e(s ? ? ?

(#

6atte( ehs heid in? I/ ah )oat 4a te4pe( up ah .ould batte( a0 the 6eatles? Dennis the =ena.e 4a Dad .alls 4e .os ah 0ant a du) li1e his one bit 4y =a sais no till :heena )its bi))e( .ause so4e du)s eat babies? That 4ust be 0hy thei( b(eath is +e(y bad- be.ause babies s4ell o/ pee and si.1? Du)s should eat +e)etables and .hips and )ood bee/bu()e(s- not the .heap ones? It 0idnae .o4e doon till the 4onth ay June ? ? ? Ah ate 4a bis.uit- ate it a0 .os it 0as one o/ the )ood ones that taste o/ 0heat 0ith the .ho.olate ni.e and thi.1? The .heap ones ne+e( taste so )ood? Thi( 0is a 1no.1 at the doo(? =a Dad 0ent n )oat it? Then 0hen eh .a4e ba.1 in- t0o 4en .a4e 0ith hi4 .os they 0e(e poli.e4en n one loo1ed bad- the othe( one 0is ni.e .os eh s4iled at 4e- patted 4a heid? =a Dad3s sayin that eh had tae )o- eh had tae )o n help the poli.e4en- but eh3d be ba.1 soon? Paul =.Ca(tney and 4a .an3t 4a1e a baby be.ause the(e3s :heena no0 and she3s in he( .ot? :he sat on the )as and bu(nt he( a(se ? ? ? =uh =a3s )(eetin- but Dad says it3s a0(i)ht? Eh says tae 4e- I Ah3+e )ot tae )o n help these poli.e4en? Dou loo1 a/te( yi( =a no0 n dae as yi( telt? =ind- you3(e the 4an ay the hoose? and that 0is the end ay he( d(a0e(s ? ? ? ,hen eh 0ent a0ay- 4a =a sat ays oan he( 1nee and held 4e n ah .ould hea( he( )(eetin- but ah didnae )(eet .os ah 0is a bi) boy and ah ni+i( )(etG Ah 0is a bit sad at /i(st .ause ah hud 4a .o4i. and it 0as 4eant tae be the best ti4e- 2ist a/te( s.hool- be/o(e tea bit ah didnae )(eet .ause ah 1ne0 that 4uh Dad 0ould be .o4in ba.1 soon- on.e he3d helped the poli.e4en put the bad 4en a0ay n eh3d help the4 batte( the bad 4en n ah3d help hi4 .os ah3d batte( Paul =.Ca(tney i/ he t(ied to be 4y =a3s boy/(iend n e+en i/ 4uh Dad 0is a0ay a lon) ti4e- it didnae bothe( 4e- be.ause it 4eant that ah 0id be the 4an ay the hoose?

.. I9/0ish: The Last 0$ish1 &u22er
Windo"s 3/0
It see4ed li1e the enti(e tene4ent buildin) hissed and shoo1 as the 0histlin) d(a/ts o/ .old ai( shot th(ou)hlea+in) it .(yin)- .(ea1in) and lea1in)- as i/ it 0e(e a lobste( th(ust into a boilin) pot? Those hi)hBp(essu(e blasts o/ di(ty .hilled 0ind /(o4 the )ales outside )ate.(ashed (elentlessly@ +ia the .(a.1s in the 0indo0 /(a4es and unde( the sills- th(ou)h the +ents and the spa.es bet0een the /loo(boa(ds? Then suddenly- 0ith a .onte4ptuous- t0istin) 0hip- and d(a))in) a .lutte( o/ .ans and (ubbish in thei( 0a1ethe 0inds dei)ned to .han)e di(e.tion- o//e(in) :and(a so4e (espite? As the /ib(es o/ he( body and soul see4ed about to (ela9- d(un1s 4ate(ialised in the st(eets outside- spillin) into the soundless +oid- /illin) it 0ith thei( s.(ea4s and .hants? The 0ind and (ain 0e(e no0 dead- so they .ould .o4e ho4e? 6ut those +endo(s o/ 4ise(y al0ays see4ed to stop outside he( doo(- and the(e 0as one pa(ti.ula(ly pe(sistent )uy 0ho had inad+e(tently tau)ht he( e+e(y +e(se and .ho(us o/ $earts Glorious $earts o+e( the last /e0 4onths? It ne+e( used to bothe( he(- all this noise? No0 she 0as the only one- :and(a 6i((ell- a 4othe(- a 0i/e- li+in) he(e in this pla.e- 0ho didn3t sleep at ni)ht? The boys slept li1e lo)s@ so4eti4es she3d )o th(ou)h to .he.1 on the4- to 4a(+el at thei( pea.e- and ho0 they 0e(e )(o0in) up? 6illy 0ould be a0ay soon- she 2ust 1ne0 it? E+en at si9teen- he3d ha+e his o0n pla.e 0ithin a .ouple o/ yea(s? He loo1ed so li1e he( husband in his youth- e+en i/ his hai( 0as .lose( to he( blonde? 6illy 0as tou)h and p(i+ate- he had his o0n li/e and )ua(ded it .losely? :he 1ne0 the(e 0e(e )i(ls han)in) a(ound- but she /ound his la.1 o/ e9p(ession ha(d to deal 0ith- e+en 0hen she 4a(+elled at his
30

unsoli.ited 1indnesses- not 2ust to he(- but to (elati+es and nei)hbou(s? Dou 0ould see hi4- in a )a(den o+e( in the pensione(s3 0a( houses- .uttin) the )(ass- (e/usin) pointBblan1- 0ith a ste(n sha1e o/ his .loseB.(opped head- to ta1e any 4oney in (etu(n? Then the(e 0as he( 7obe(tF he 0as a (an)y 0ee .olt- but )(o0in) /ast? A d(ea4e(- 0ithout 6illy3s busy sense o/ pu(pose- but also un0illin) to sha(e the se.(ets in his head? ,hen he le/t- 0hat 0ould be the(e /o( he( and he( 4an ,ullie- slu4be(in) deeply ne9t to he(H Then 0hat 0ould she beH ,ould a/te( the4 be li1e be/o(e the4H ,ould she be li1e :and(a Lo.1ha(t a)ainH It see4ed .(aEy- but 0hat had happened to :and(a Lo.1ha(tH The p(etty blonde 0ho 0as )ood at s.hool0ho3d )one to Leith A.ade4y 0hen the (est o/ he( /a4ily- the Lo.1ha(ts o/ Tennent :t(eet- had all 0ent to D?C? I Da+id Cilpat(i.13s- o( 3Da/t Cids3 as the lo.als .(uelly .alled it? :and(a 0as the youn)est o/ the .lanthe one .hild /(o4 that pa(ishBbooted band o/ 0ideos 0ho see4ed to be )oin) pla.es? 8i+a.ious- bubbly and spoiled- she had al0ays see4ed a bit too bi) /o( those boots- .ontinually appea(in) to loo1 do0n on e+e(ybody in the tene4ented st(eets o/ the old po(t he( /a4ily .a4e /(o4? E+e(ybody- e9.ept one- and he lay ne9t to he(? The d(un1s had )one no0- thei( +oi.es tailin) o// into the ni)ht- but only to he(ald the (etu(n o/ the

/la)ellatin) 0inds? Anothe( /e(o.ious blast and the 0indo0 bellied in li1e 7ol/ Ha((is3s 0obbleBboa(d- b(ie/ly teasin) he( 0ith the possible d(a4a o/ /(a.tu(e- the one e+ent that 0ould su(ely 0a1en he( doEin) husband beside he( and /o(.e hi4 to a.t- to do so4ethin)? Anythin)? Just to sho0 he( that they 0e(e in this to)ethe(? :and(a loo1ed at hi4- sleepin) as soundly as the boys ne9t doo(? He 0as /leshie( no0 and his hai( 0as thinnin)- but he hadn3t let hi4sel/ )o li1e so4e- and he still su))ested 7o.1 Hudson in Written on the Wind, the /i(st p(ope( /il4 she3d seen as a )i(l? :he t(ied to thin1 about ho0 she loo1ed- and she /elt he( /lab and .ellulite- the tou.h o/ he( hands on he( body b(in)in) both .o4/o(t and (e+ulsion? :he doubted i/ she put people in 4ind o/ Do(othy =alone any 4o(e? That 0as 0hat they had .alled he( then- 3The Holly0ood 6londe3? =a(ilyn =on(oe- Do(is Day- 8e(a Ellen@ she3d hinted at the4 all 0ith one hai(do a/te( anothe(- but none 4o(e than Do(othy =alone in Written on the Wind. ,hat a 2o1e? O/ .ou(se- she3d ne+e( 1no0n about this 4oni1e( at the ti4e- at the Gappy .on.e(t and pla.es li1e that? I/ she had- she3d3+e been so insu//e(able- :and(a .on.eded to he(sel/? It
31

0as only ,ullie that had told he(- not lon) a/te( they sta(ted )oin) out- that he 0as datin) the lassie all the othe( )uys 1ne0 as 3The Holly0ood 6londe3? ,ith sudden +iolen.e the (ain th(ashed li1e stones on the 0indo0- so ha(d that he( hea(t see4ed to split in t0o- one pa(t (ushin) /o( he( 4outh- the othe( to he( sto4a.h? The(e 0as a ti4e- she thou)ht- 0hen it all 4eant nothin)@ the 0ind- the (ain- the d(un1s outside? I/ only ,ullie 0ould 0a1e up and ta1e he( in his a(4s and hold he( and 4a1e lo+e to he(- li1e they used to- so4eti4es all th(ou)h the ni)ht? I/ only she .ould .lose the distan.e bet0een the4- 2ust sha1e hi4 a0a1e and as1 hi4 to e4b(a.e he(? 6ut so4eho0- these 0e(e not the 0o(ds eithe( o/ the4 e9pe.ted to .o4e /(o4 he( ton)ue? Ho0 had the /e0 in.hes bet0een the4 be.o4e su.h a .has4H Lyin) in the bed )aEin) at the /eatu(eless .eilin)- 0ith pani. sli.in) th(ou)h he( in 0a+es- a daEElin) /issu(e opened up in :and(a3s 4ind? Th(ou)h it- she .ould al4ost /eel he( sanity slidin) into an abyss- lea+in) he( a Eo4bie/ied shell? And she 0as on the +e()e o/ e4b(a.in) it- .o4/o(tably- 2ust to be li1e he( husband- ,ullie0ho 0ould sleep and sleep and sleep (i)ht th(ou)h the 4ayhe4 until 4o(nin)?

Terr# La"son. 4ui'ed 52
:te+ie 6anne(4an .an be as 0ide as /u.1? It3s a0(i)ht /i( hi4 sittin in the +an a0 day- it3s 4e that3s oot in a0 0eathe(s hu4pin /u.1in .(ates oa/ the ba.1 ay this lo((y in the (ain- stoapin at the pubs and .lubs- then doo(B taeBdoo( ba.1 (oond the s.he4es he(e? Cannae .o4plain 4ind you@ thi(3s loads ay bi(ds )aun past- and bein oot he(e n the /(esh ai(- .he.1in the4 oot- it3s the spi.e ay li/e? Too (i)ht? They 0anted ays tae stey oan as 0ell- sais ah .ould dae a .ouple ay O )(ades i/ ah pit 4a 4ind tae it? 6ut 0hat dae ye 0ant tae stey oan at s.hool /i( 0hen yu+ al(eady (ode 2ist aboot e+e(y bi(d thai( that3ll )oH ,aste ay /u.1in ti4e? Ah3ll hu+ tae )it 4a 4ate- the =il1y 6a( Cid- telt aboot that? Goat the ho(n bi)ti4e this 4o(nin? Ey0is the sa4e e/ti( ah3+e been up the Classi. the ni)ht be/o(e- 0at.hin the di(ty 4o+ies? Ah 0anted tae )o doon tae Lu.y3s e/ti(- but he( auld 4an3ll no lit 4e stey o0e(? :upposed tae be /u.1in 0ell en)a)ed n a0? Ti4e enou)h /i( that 0hin yis a(e 4ai((ied- the .unt )oes? Aye- li1e hi4 n Lu.y3s 4a u( ban)in a0ay a0 dayH That3ll be (i)ht? ,e3(e ba.1 at the s.he4e n :te+ie3s stoaped the lo((y at the 0aste? Ah .ouple ay auld /u.1e(s .o4e up tae ays? Thu+ )oat they toothless 4ooths thit pit ays n 4ind ay that pai( ay 0o(n oot auld dessy boots ah3+e )oat in 4a 0a(d(obe- the one3s 0i stit.hin) bu(st in thu4? Ah boat a ne0 pai( 0i 4a /i(st 0ee13s 0a)es but ye .annae b(in) yi(sel tae .hu.1 the auld yins oot? I T0o boatils ay o(an)e- son- one 0i/ie sais? Ah pull oot a .ouple ay boatils ay Hend(y3s /ae the toap .(ate- n ta1e the pound and )ie the .han)e ba.1? :o((y- 4issus- ah 1en the 2ui.e you3(e needin pu4ped intae you n it disnae .o4e in /u.1in boatils?
33

Di( no )ittin it o//ay 4e any0ey- 4issusG They )it oan thi( 0ey n then ah see yin thit 4i)ht be )ittin it o//ay ays? Ah 1en yon b(i)ht 0ee /a.e ne9t tae ays- it3s =a))ie O((? :he3s 0i eh( 4ate- anothe( (ide 0hae ah3+e seen aboot but 0hae ah dinnae 1en? ,ell- no yet any0ey? I A boatil ay le4onade n a boatil ay Co1e- 0ee =a))ie sais? The yea( belo0 ays at the s.hool? =ai( 4eat oan a but.he(3s 1ni/e? Ased tae /eed he( up 0hin ah 0is 4onito( oan the s.hool dinne(s? =a 4ate Ca(l- the =il1y 6a( Cid- he3s )oat the hoats /i( he( bi)ti4e? Thoat eh 0is in thai(e .ause eh 0is hin)in aboot 0i he( n Topsy 0i that da/t band that thi( 4eant tae be in- n a0 that .(o0d /ae the He(ts bus? Hea(d eh 4ade a bit ay a .unt ay ehsel in /(ont ay he( last :eti(day? =ibbe that3s ho0 eh3s a0 1een tae .o4e 0i us tae Hibs oan :eti(day? De 1en the 0ey ehs 4ind 0o(1s- that .unt?

I They tell ays ye li1e yi( Co1e (i)ht enou)h- ah )oes tae he(? :he sais no0t- disnae (eally )it the 2o1e- but blushes a bit any0ey? He( 4ate does n a0- but 4a1es oot she3s s5uintin in the sun- pittin he( hand up tae he( /a.e? Lon) bla.1 hai(- da(1 eyes- n thi.1- /ull (id lips? Aye ? ? ? Good bit ay tit oan it? I Douse should be at the s.hool- ah )oes- I 0ait till 6la.1ie hea(s aboot this? =a))ie /(o0ns at the 4ention ay that .unt3s na4e? Nae 0onde(? I Aye- ah )oes- I 4e n 6la.1ie still 1eep in tou.h- ye 1en? Good buddies- no0 thit 0i( baith 0o(1in 4en the)ithe(? Ey0is as1s ays tae 1eep u4 in/o(4ed aboot 0hi.h ay ehs pupils u(nae beha+in the4sel+es? Ah3ll 1eep 4a 4ooth shut .ause it3s you- but it3s )aunny .ost ye 4ind? He( 4ate3s lau)hin at this- but pe(( =a))ie3s hal/ so(tay loo1in at 4e as i/ ah34 se(ious? I Ah34 oa/ si.1? Ah34 2ist oot /i( so4e 2ui.e but- she )oes- li1e ah34 )aunny )(ass he( up tae a /u.1in t(uan.y o//i.e( o( so4ethin)? I A0 aye- ah lau)hs- n loo1s at he( pal- thi( is a ba((y bit ay tit thai( a0(i)ht? I N you( si.1 n a0- eh? I Na0- she3s le/t- she 0is at Au))ie3s- =a))ie e9plains be/o(e he( 4ate .an ans0e(? :he3s a0 ne(+ous n bothe(ed- loo1in aboot tae see 0hae3s 0at.hin he( bein oot? He( 4ate3s 4u.h .oole(? Ah li1e they bi) eyes n that lon)- bla.1 hai(? I No 0o(1in dollH ah as1 the lassie?
3/

This yin 0i the tits )its tae spea1 up /i( the /i(st ti4e? I Aye- at the ba1e(3s? 6ut it3s 4a day oa/- she says? The ba1e(3s 0i( )ittin no0- is itH ,ell ah3d pit a /u.1in bun in the o+en /o( he( any0ey? Nae dan)e(? Nahshe3s no /u.1in shy- no 0ay- she3s 2ist 0o(1in ays oot? J 8ehB(y ni.e- ah say? I :o3s that youse in a0 oan yi( loneso4eH ah as1 the4 baith? J Aye- 4a An.le Ale.3s oot n 4uh =a n Dad a(e doon at 6la.1pool- =a))ie tells 4e? 6la.1pool? Fu.1in ba((y doon thai(e oan that Golden =ile- a0 the pubs n that? Plenty /u.1in sha))in doon thai(e? =e n that bi(d /ae Hudde(s/ield- n the yin /ae Lin.oln n a0? The Hudde(s/ield yin- Philippa- she 0is the best but? 6an)ed that 4u.h 0i b(o1e the /u.1in bed? Chee1y basta(d 0anted tae .ha()e us /i( it- an auld .hipboa(d 1ip hal/ s4ashed tae /u.1 a0(eady? Ah telt the 0an1e( tae /u.1in blo0? =al1y Ca(son 0anted tae 1no.1 ehs .unt in? The b(ea1/ast 0is shite n a0@ they )ied ays a sausa)e oan 4a plate li1e ,ee Gally3s tad)e(? That Pleasu(e 6ea.h 0is b(illiant but? Ah 0is (i)ht up the to0e( n a0? The thi(d thin) ah )oat (i)ht up 0hin ah 0is doon thai(eG Fu.1in .auld thou)h- that 0ind oa/ the sea? N the s.abby O((s3+e 0ent south n le/t 0ee =a))ie oan he( tod? I They no ta1e you doon thai(e 0i thu4H ah as1? I Nup? I Aye- ah s4iles- I they 1en thit they3d hu+ tae 1eep an eye oan ye? Ah3+e hea(d a0 aboot youG I Git a0ay- she lau)hs- n he( 4ate does n a0? :o ah tu(ns tae this bla.1Bhai(ed yin? I :o she3s loo1in e/ti( ye then- =a))ie- ehH I Aye? Ah 0in1s at he( 4ate- then tu(ns ba.1 tae =a))ie? I ,ell ah3ll need tae .o4e by- late( this a//ie 0hin ah34 /inished? 8isit the si.1 patient- li1es? 6(in) 4a ain spe.ial (e4edies? =a))ie 2ist sh(u)s? I Ap tae you eh? I Aye but- ah tells he(- I tho(ou)h e9a4ination? :e.ond opinion- ah sais and points at 4asel? I Do.to(then at he( 0i the bla.1 hai(- I nu(se- then at =a))ie- I patient? The bla.1 hai(ed yin3s a0 hoat n bothe(ed .ause she3s 2u4pin oan the spot n she3s )oat they tits 2i))lin a0ay in that lila. toap 0hen she 4o+es? I ,hoa =a))ieG Hea( thatG Do.to(s and Nu(sesG Di( /a+ou(ite )a4eG
3)

=a))ie loo1s ba.1 a0 .auld at 4e- he( ai(4s still .(ossed- and pu//s oan he( /a)- b(ushin he( /loppy b(oon /(in)e oot he( eyes- I Aye- you 2ist 1eep oan )iein yi( 4ind a t(eat son- she says tu(nin a0ay? They 0al1 a0ay a0 snooty /i( a bit- but ye 1in tell the 0ey they loo1 ba.1 sni))e(in that they 0ee .unts a(e as sha)Bhappy as /u.1? 6aith ay thai4 a(e )ittin it late( oan- that3s /u.1in 0ell )ua(anteed? I Aye- ah 1in dae that a0(i)ht- 2ust thin1in aboot you /ine ladies- ah lau)h? Then ah shout- I :ee yis late( but- 2ist /i( a /a) n a 0ee .up ay tea but eh? I Aye- (i)ht- =a))ie shouts ba.1- but she3s lau)hin no0? I :ee yis- )i(lsG Ah 0a+e- 0at.hin thu4 )o? That =a))ie- i/ they 6ia/(an .unts sa0 pi.tu(es ay he( oan thai(e ne0s- they3d be hu+in a 0hipB(oond tae )it so4e .(ates ay (i.e shipped o0e( he(e? Tidy e(se oan that 4ate ay he(s but@ it3s li1e t0o bai(ns /i)htin in a pillay.ase in they 0hite t(oose(s? A total /u.1in pu4p? That :te+ie3s so4e /u.1e(? Cannae pass a boo1ie3s? A0 eh does is /li.1 th(ou)h the (a.in pa)es? Eh3s an ed)y .unt 0i a bi) da)o 4ousta.he? One ay they boys that3s a0 se(ious n nippy at 0o(1- n disnae lit ehsel )o until eh3s /inished n eh3s in the booEe(? Ah dinnae hud 0i that so(t ay patte(F as i/ ye hu+ tae be a0 to(nB/a.ed tae d(i+e a /u.1in lo((y the (i)ht 0ey? Ah34 0antin tae ta1e 4a test n )it 4asel a 4oto(- 2ist /i( the sha))in li1es?

6i(ds ey0is )o /o( the )uy 0i the 4oto(- no thit ah need one tae )it ma hole- unli1e so4e ah .ould 4ention? A +an3s ey0is use/ul but? ,hen 0i 1no.1 oa/- :te+ie 0ants tae )o tae the 6usy 6ee /o( a pint? I Na0- ah3+e )oat othe( plans- ah tell u4? I :uit ye(sel/- eh )oes? Eh sta(ts )aun oan a)ain aboot the (ound no 4a1in 4oney? ,ho )ies a /u.1 aboot thatH Ah )it enou)h 4oney oot ay it- n ye )it (oond tae .he.1 oot a0 the /anny? That3s 4ai( i4po(tant than 4oney- )ittin the .han.e tae .hat up di//e(ent bi(ds n /ind oot 0hi.h ones )o n 0hi.h ones dinnae? De 0ant .lathes- ye sno0d(oap thu4 o//ay so4e .unt3s line- o( )it a 0ee /u.1e( tae dae it /i( ye? 6ut the 4ain thin) /i( 4e is /anny? Ah )ied 0ee Lu.y a (in) oan he( /in)e(- 2ist tae 1eep he( 5uiet li1es? :he3s ey0is )aun oan aboot ays bein oan the 2ui.e lo((ies li1e it3s no )ood enou)h /i( he(? Ah 1en 0hai(e it a0 .o4es /aeF he( auld 4an3s a snobby .unt n a0? D(i+es a /u.1in bus /o( the .o(pie n thin1s eh3s 4iddleB.lass? Cunt only )oes n
3#

says tae ays one ti4e- I Jui.e lo((ies- thi(3s no 4any p(ospe.ts thai(eis thi(H Ah 2ist sat n said no0t- but ah 0is thin1in tae 4asel- yi( /u.1in 0(on) pal- ye )it tons ay p(ospe.ts in that 2oab- n you( 0ee lassie 0is one ay the4? Ah .annae /u.1in 0ell 4o+e /i( p(ospe.tsG :pi.e ay li/eG ,ell that =a))ie3s a p(ospe.t a0(i)ht and ah34 st(ai)ht (oond tae he( hoose 0hen ah /inish? :he3s in the sa4e stai( as the 6i((ells but she3s one /lai( up- so ah )it the )en oan he( auld 4an n auld )i(l o//ay 6illy? Fu.1in pishBheids? Ah sni// the ai(4pits tae 4a1e su(e ah dinnae s4ell /ae lu))in they .(ates- then ah 1no.1 at the doo(? :he .onies tae ans0e( n she3s standin) thai(- he( ai(4s /olded- loo1in at ays as i/ tae say- 0hat a(e you 0antin? Ah 1en 0hat ah34 0antin a0(i)ht? I Can ah .o4e in /i( a .up ay tea 0ellH :ustenan.e /i( a thi(sty 0o(1in) .hapH I A0(i)ht- she )oes- loo1in o0e( 4a shoodi(- I but 2ist /o( a .up ay tea- n 2ist /i( /i+e 4inutes? ,e )o ben the /(ont (oo4 and it3s 2ist he( n the othe( lassie ha4e? I De 1en Gail- Te((yH =a))ie as1s as ah .(ash the ash? :he3s )oat that 3ah34 su(e ah 1en you /ae so4e0hai(e3 loo1 oan he( /a.e? I Ah3+e no hud that pleasu(e- ah say- noddin o0e( at Gail n 0in1in? I No yit- any0ey- ah add- as =a))ie sni))e(s and Gail hud3s 4a )aEe /i( a bit? 6i(ds li1e laddies 0i a sense ay hu4ou(- n see 4e- ah3+e )oat that =onty PythonBtype sense ay hu4ou(? At the s.hool 0hin 4e n Ca(l n Gaily sta(ted /u.1in aboot nae .unt .ould unde(stand us? They a0 thoat 0i 0i( 4ental n ah suppose 0i 0i(? The thin) Ca(l doesnae 1en but- n that3s ho0 eh disnae )it ehs hole- is thit- aye@ ye need a sense ay hu4ou( but yu+ )oat tae be 4atu(e a(oond lassies n a0no li1e the da/t laddie a0 the ti4e? Loo1 at they =onty Python .unts@ they 4i)ht be 4ental- but thi( no li1e that a0 the ti4e? They a0 0ent tae /u.1in Ca4b(id)e o( 0he(e+e(- n ye dinnae )it in thai(e unless yu+ )oat b(ains? De 1in bet they didnae sta(t daein silly 0al1s n a0 that shite in thi( e9a4s? Na0? The thin) is- ah a4 4atu(e n a0? Ah 4ind ay that one tea.he( in a(t- that =iss O(4ond- she says tae ays- I Dou3(e the 4ost i44atu(e youn) 4an I3+e e+e( tau)ht? Ah hud tae 2ist tell he( st(ai)ht- ah a4 4atu(e 4iss- ah3+e been /u.1in 0ell sha))in /i( yea(s n ah3+e sha))ed 4ai( bi(ds thin any othe( .unt in this s.hool? Nippy .o0 only 0ent n sent ays tae 6la.1ie3s /i( the /u.1in 0eb? They3+e )oat the e/te(noon telly oan- so4e (epeats ay The aint. It3s the othe( .unt- the one that loo1s li1e the (eal :aint3s 0ee b(othe(? Ah
37

settle doon oantae the .ou.h and Gail sits in one a(4.hai( n =a))ie oan the ai(4 ay the othe(? Ah34 loo1in at the sho0 ay thi)h .o4in /ae unde( =a))ie3s 0ee ta(tan s1i(t and ah34 thin1in aboot that A4e(i.an E9p(ess ad+e(tF that3ll dae ni.ely? I :o- tell ays a0 yi( ad+entu(es )i(ls- ah as1- ta1in a lon) d(a0 ay 4a E4bie 7e)al? I ,hat yis been up taeH =ai( i4po(tantly- u( yis )aun oot 0i anybodyH Ah34 0antin a0 the s.andalous )ossip 4ind? I :he 0is )aun oot 0i Alan Lei)hton- =a))ie says- pointin tae the Gail bi(d? I No no0 thou)h- ah hate u4- Gail )oes? I Dinnae (eally 1en the boy- ah s4iles- thin1in that Lei)hton3s a 4ate ay that La((y ,ylie3s so she3s doubleB bound tae ta1e the doady i/ she3s been 1no.1in aboot 0i yon .(o0d? I Eh3s a 0an1e(- Gail says- in a 0ey 0hi.h ye3d be da/t no tae (ead asF ah34 no sha))in hi4 any4ai(- but ah need a len)th ay .o.1 p(etty bad- so .o4e ahead bi) yin? This is Te(en.e Hen(y La0son- inte(p(etin) /o( the badly needin) sha))ed? :pi.e ay li/e? Funny aboot this Gail lassie- ah34 still t(yin tae pla.e he(? Ah thin1 she 4i)ht be one ay the 6an1ses? Ah34

su(e she3s a 4ate ay Doyle3s siste(? Nah34 su(e she used tae 0ea( )lesses- ni.e )oldB(i44ed )lesses that 4ade he( loo1 e+en di(tie( and se9ie( than she is no0- i/ that3s possible? =ibbe it 0is he( 4ate ah34 thin1in aboot? 6ut aye- she3ll )o- nae bothe(- ye 2ist )it soas ye 1in tell? Ah tu(ns tae =a))ie- 0hae3s loo1in a bit le/t oot? I :u(p(ised that you3(e no spo1en /i( =a))ie- ah say- 0at.hin he( blush a bit a)ain? I Ah 4ean- ah34 no .o4plainin- 4ind you- it3s )(eat ne0s /i( 4e? :ee- ah3+e ey0is /an.ied yeG Gail th(o0s ba.1 he( heid n lau)hs? Then she (olls he( eyes n )oes- I ,haeBhaeG ,ee =a))ie thou)h- she so(tay 2oins he( hands the)ithe( n lo0e(s he( eyes a0 shy n says- he( +oi.e )aun a0 lo0- I 6ut you3(e )aun oot 0i Lu.y ,ilson? Fu.1 4e- it 0as li1e she 0is in a .hu(.h o( so4ethin)? :he3s /oolin nae .unt 0i that shite? :he3s a p(oddy0hi.h 4eans ye ni+i( )o tae .hu(.h? I Na0- that3s a0 past no0? :o i/ ah 0is tae as1 ye tae )o oot 0i 4e- 0id yeH :he loo1s a0 .(i4son? :he tu(ns tae Gail- n lau)hs- no su(e 0hethe( ah34 ta1in the pish o( no? I Te((y3s as1in ye a 5uestion- =a))ieG Gail says a0 loud?
3*

I Ah dinnae 1en- she says ba.1 a0 i((itated- but a 0ee bit .oy at the sa4e ti4e? The thin) is thit thi(3s )aun oot n )aun oot? :o4eti4es 0hin ye say yi( 3)aun oot3 0i so4ebody it 2ist 4eans thit yi( (idin thu4? Othe( ti4es it3s a bit li1e 3)aun steady3? That3s /u.1in da/t- li1e ye 0i( )aun .(oo1ed be/o(e? Na0- Lu.y3s a bi(d ye )o oot 0i- ey0is 0ellBd(essed n a +i()in until ah )oat a hud ay he(? Thi(3s bi(ds li1e he(the ones ye )o oot 0i- n thi(3s ones li1e =a))ie n that Gail- ones ye 2ist (ide? I ,ell i/ you dinnae- naebody else does- eh Te((y- Gail says and )ies 4e a 0ee 0in1? :he3s a /u.1in (ide a0(i)ht? Ah34 (eally no that bothe(ed aboot =a))ie no0- ye ey0is )o 0i the )oe(- n e+en thou)h they3ll baith )o- that Gail3s de/o? De 1in tell (i)ht a0ay? The thin) is but- it3s =a))ie3s hoose- n 0i( no 0antin /lun) oot? I =ibbe ah .ould .on+in.e ye- ah sais tae he(? I De no )aunny sit oan 4a 1neeH :he loo1s a0 doubt/ul? I C34e(e- ah say? I C34oan- ah t0ist 4a heid? Gail loo1s up at he(- e))in he( oan? I Eh3s no )aunny bite ye- =a))ie- she tells he(? Ah li1e this lassie- /ill ay 4is.hie/? E9a.tly 4a type? =ind you- thi( a% 4a /u.1in type? I Dinnae 1id yi(sell- ah lau)h at the4? I C34oan =a))ie- ah say- a 0ee bit 4ai( i4patient? A lassie )aun a0 shy3s ni.e /o( a 0ee 0hile- but then it be.o4es bo(in n ye 0ant the4 st(ipped /i( a.tion? Naebody lo+es a .o.1tease( e/ti( a0? :he .o4es o0e( and ah pill he( doon oantae 4a 1nee n sta(t 4o+in 4a le)s- (o.1in he( thin 0ee body up n doon? Ah )ie he( a 0ee 1iss oan the 4ooth? I The(e- that 0isnae sae bad? Ah3+e 0anted tae dae that /o( a lon) ti4e- ah 1in tell ye that? Tae any /u.1in 4ooth that is? Hu4pin .(ates a0 day 0hen ye should be hu4pin /anny? =a))ie3s intae it- she pits he( hand (oond 4a ne.1 and (uns he( /in)e(s th(ou)h the hai( at the ba.1 ay 4a heid? Ah34 loo1in at the auld tiled /i(epla.e 0i the )as /i(e that a0 they s.(u//y auld tene4ent hooses hu+ )oat? No a0 4ode(n n ele.t(i.- li1e us- the snobs- o0e( in the ne0 /lats? I Ah li1e the 0ey yu+ )oat yi( hai(- she )oes? Ah s4ile- that 0ee shy s4ile that ah3+e p(a.tised in the 4i((o( e+e(y day- n ah 1iss he( a)ain- a lon)e(slo0e( yin this ti4e? De 1in hea( a loud b(eath as Gail stands up? ,e b(e1 oa/ /i( a bit? I :in.e you t0o a(e )ittin a0 lo+eyB do+ey- ah34 )aun upstai(s /i( a bit- tae play that tape- Gail says a0 snooty- but it3s so(t ay pit oan- .ause
39

ye .an tell that she 1ens that he( len)th is as )ood as )ua(anteed- 0hi.h it is- i/ no no0 then e/ti(? De see- ah 1en e+e(y ba1e(3s shoap in ,est Edinbu()h? That3s the beauty ay 0o(1in oan the 2ui.e lo((ies? =a))ie so(t ay hal/Bhea(tedly p(otests as Gail )oes? I Goan pit the 1ettle oan- she as1s- but Gail3s al(eady oot the doo(- .ause ah 0at.hed that ti)ht e(se in they 0hite t(oose(s +anish oot 4a si)ht n a0 ah 0is thin1in aboot 0is )ittin a hud ay it late( oan? Fi(st thin)s /i(st but? That 0is one thin) ah did lea(n at the s.hool- 0ay ba.1 in the p(i4a(y? They da/t sayins thit they )ied ye? A bi(d in the hand is 0o(th t0o in the bush? Ah 4a1e it di//e(ent but@ a bi(d3s bush in you( hand is 0o(th t0o 0i thi( .lathes oan? I Ah3ll pit the 1ettle oan- ah say tae he(- I but only i/ ah )it anothe( 1iss /i(st? I Git a0ay- she )oes? I One 0ee 1iss- )oan- ah 0hispe(? One 0ee 1iss- that3ll be (i)ht? A/te( sno))in /o( aboot ten 4inutes- ah3+e )oat that da/t .a(dy then he( toap n b(a oa/ n he( 0ee tits a(e boun.in up n doon in the pal4s ay 4a hands and she3s loo1in) at the4 li1e she3s ne+e( seen the4 be/o(e? ,haeBhae ya .unt that ye a(eG Ah34 /u.1in )ua(anteed he(eG

Ah settles he( doon oan the .ou.h )iein he( the stin1yBpin1y /o( a bit- slidin 4a hand up that 0ee 1ilt and inside he( pants- en2oyin he( )(oans as she sta(ts tae 0o(1 he(sel/ oantae 4a sti// little /in)e(s? Ah34 thin1in aboot that band and 0onde(in i/ the di(ty .unt that 4ade the na4e up 0is i+i( thin1in aboot so4e bi(d eh 0is /(i))in oa/? He(e3s an Alte(nati+e Alste( /i( ye henG :pi.e ay li/eG Ti4e /o( a.tion- ah pill doon the pants o0e( he( 1nees and then he( an1les- and pill he( oantae 4e? :he3s t(e4blin as ah )its 4a ain b(ee1s doon o0e( 4a thi)hs n 4a .o.1 oot? Ah3+e )oat he( 0ee e(se in one hand and he( tits in anothe( as he( hands (est oan 4y shoodi(s? Nae need /i( he( tae t(y n play the 0ee +i()in- she3s been done be/o(e- by 4aist ay Topsy3s .(e0 ah (e.1on? Ni+i( hud a pole li1e this in he( but- that 4ust be )ua(anteed? :he3s dead 0ee- e+en 4ai( so than Lu.y n so ah sta(t oa/ /u.1in he( slo0ly until she3s )a))in /o( 4ai( so ah step up a )ea( )iein it tae he( )oodstyle? I Aye- Aye- ye /u.1in 0ell li1e that ehH EhH ah )oes- but she3s no sa+in no0t until she )ies oot a 0ee .(y 0hen she )its the(e? Ah sta(t 4a1in da/t s5uea1y 0ee sounds li1e a dippit 0ee ta(t 4asel- but- 0ell- that3s the heat ay passion n a0 that? :he3d bette( no say no0t tae nae .unt aboot 4e 4a1in they noises? A loat ay boys thin1 thit lassies dinnae tal1 li1e that tae ea.h othe(/0

thit it3s a0 su)a( n spi.e- bit that3s .(ap? Thi( 2ist li1e us? Fu.1in 0o(se- i/ the t(uth be telt? Ah hud he( /o( a 0ee 0hile- .ause in ten 4inutes ah3ll be (eady a)ain- but it3s li1e she3s in a t(an.e? Nae point 0astin ti4e? I Ah3d bette( )o up n ta1e a 0ee lea1- ah tell he(? As ah stand up n pill oan 4a sh(eddies- then 4a 2eans n TBshi(t- she3s sta(in) oa/ intae spa.e- then 0(appin he( .lathes (oond he(? Ah )o upstai(s- 4ountin the blue th(eadba(eB.a(peted steps t0o at a ti4e? In the bo) thi(3s a shite thit husnae /lushed a0ay? It 4a1es ays /eel /unny aboot peein in it- as i/ the shite3s )aunny /ly up 4a pissBtube- so ah pish in the sin1 then )ie 4a ta.1le a 0ee 0ash? ,hen ah /inish ah .lo.1s this spide( in the bath so ah blasts the .unt 0i baith taps- /lushin the /u.1e( a0ay- be/o(e )aun in tae the bed(oo4 ne9t doo(? Gail3s lyin) oan the bed- /a.e doon? :he3s )oat the headphones oan- thi( .o4in) ootae the 4usi. .ent(e /ae a lon) .o(d- t(ailin doon the ba.1 ay he( toap- n a.(oss one ay they ni.e butto.1s- so she .annae e+en hea( 4e .o4e intae the (oo4? He( e(se loo1s )(eat in they 0hite t(oose(s- ye .an see the pant line st(et.hin oot o0e( the butto.1s n +anishin (i)ht intae that e(se n /anny .(a.1? :he3s (eadin this boo1 oan the pillay- he( lon) da(1 hai( hin)in doon? :he3s )oat a )ood body a0(i)ht- .hun1ie( than =a))ie3s- 4u.h 4ai( /u.1in 0o4anish? Thi(3s a bi) poste( ay Ga(y Glitte( oan the 0a0 abo+e he(? That .unt3s ba((y? Ah li1e that bit 0hin eh )oesF ah34 the 4an thit pit the ban) in )an)s? He3s the /u.1in boy? Ah 4ean- ah li1e The Ja4 n the Pistols no0 but hi4 n :lade a(e the only .unts /ae the auld days ah still )o /i(? Ah stand and ta1e in the +ie0 /o( a bit- )iein Ga(y a 0ee 0in1? Ah3ll sho0 the .unt ho0 tae pit the ban) in )an)s a0(i)ht? :o that3s ays as sti// as a /u.1in (o.1 a)ain? Ah 4o+e o0e( n tu(n the +olu4e doon n 0at.h he( spin a(oond n pill oa/ the headphones? :he3s no su(p(ised at a0 tae see 4e? Ah34 su(p(ised tae see he(- .ause she3s 0ea(in they )oldB(i44ed )lesses? That should tu(n ye oa/- but it 2ist 4a1es 4e ho(nie( than e+e(? I A0(i)ht /ou(Beyes- ah )oes? I Ah 2ist 0ea( 4u4 /i( (eadin- she sais- ta1in thu4 oa/? I ,ell ah thin1 thi( se9y as anythin- ah say- 4o+in (i)ht o0e( tae the bed- thin1in that i/ ah )(ab he( and she 1i.1s up /u.1- ah3ll 2ist let )o n tell he( ah 0is only 2o1in? 6ut thi(3s no0t tae 0o((y aboot he(e- .ause 4a ton)ue3s in he( 4ooth n thi(3s nae (esistan.e- so ah3+e )oat 4a .o.1 oot- n she3s )oat he( hand oan it- 0ell /u.1in )a4e?
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I No he(e ? ? ? 0e .annae no0 ? ? ? she )oes- but she isnae in any bi) hu((y tae lit )o ay 4a 1nob? I Fu.1 it- .34oan- =a))ie 1ens the s.o(e- ah tell he(? :he loo1s at ays /o( a se.ond but ah34 )ittin 4a )ea( oa/ n she3s no /a( behind? ,e3(e (i)ht unde( the .o+e(s? Ah34 /eelin )(eat n it3s ba((y thit 4a .o.13s still ha(d e+en thou)h ah shot ah /ai( auld bit ay 0ad intae =a))ie? The li1es ay Ca(l o( ,ee Gaily- they3d be up in the 7oyal in intensi+e .a(e e/ti( a 0an1- ni+i( 4ind a bi(d? Disnae bothe( 4e- ah .ould /u.1 a0 day? Ah34 i4p(essed by this Gail3s attitude@ nae /u.1in aboot- the 1e1s n the b(a a(e oa/ st(ai)ht a0ay? &h loat ay bi(ds lea+e oan the 1e1s as so(tay insu(an.e thit thi3ll )it a bit ay /o(eplay- but it3s only a tossBba) 0hae3d 2ist t(y n stu//3 it st(ai)ht bet0een a lassie3s le)s 0hin thi(3s plenty othe( /un tae be had /i(st? :o auld Gary Glitte(3s loo1in doon at us as ah3+e )oat (na ton)ue bet0een Gail3s le)s? :he3s t(yin tae push 4a heid a0ay at /i(st- but it be.o4es a (ub oan 4a s.alp then a tu) oan 4a hai( as ah sta(ts lappin he( up and she (ela9es he( )(ip and she3s (i)ht /u.1in intae it? Ah3+e )oat 4a hands unde( he( butto.1s- )ittin a )ood )(ope at he( e(se.hee1s- then ah slide 4a /in)e( inside he( and sta(t )iein he( /anny a 0ee /(i)? Ah34 t(yin tae t0ist (oond- .ause they bi) lips ay he(s 0i( 4eant /i( soo1in oan 4a 1nob but the .o+e(s3(e slippin oa/ us? The t(i.1 is tae 1eep he( oan the boil- but tae 4a1e it soas she3s )oat tae ta1e 4a .o.1 in he( 4ooth? :he3s intae that

thou)h- she3s still (unnin he( hand the len)th ay it- pillin the /o(es1in ba.1? I That3s )(eat Te((y- this is 4ad- 0e3(e 4ental ? ? ? she )asps? I :pi.e ay li/e- ah )(unt ba.1 at he(- I ah 0ant 4a ton)ue (i)ht up you( holes- one e/ti( the othe(- ah tell he(? That 0is 0hat this boy said in this di(ty +ideo that Donny Ness had? Ah ey0is t(y tae 4ind ay a0 they best lines- and the best 4o+es? :o the(e3s 4e st(addlin he( si9tyBnineBstyle- and she3s )oat 4a .o.1 in he( 4ooth n she3s su.1in ha(d oan itand by Ch(ist- this lassie .an )a4? Ah34 pullin he( 0ee /laps apa(t and )iein it bi) posta)e sta4p li.1s n /in)e(in he( .unt /i(st- then he( e(sehole 0hi.h s4ells a0 4oist and ea(thy- then ah34 ba.1 oantae he( .lit 0hi.h /eels bi) and sti// enou)h tae be a 4iniB.o.1- and she pills 4a 1nob oot he( 4ooth n the(e 0is 4e thin1in she 0is )aspin /i( ai(- but na0- it3s he( .o4in in 2a))ed- sho.1ed spas4s- 4a /in)e( 2a44ed oantae that 0ee lo+eBbutton ay he(s li1e it 0is stu.1 oan the dial ay a )ood (adio station? :o she3s )aspin as he( shudde(s (un doon- but ah34 no /inished 0i
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he( yit- n ah t0ist (oond n pill eh( up and he( /a.e is in a 0ide- 4ental sho.1 n ah34 oan the bed but ah3+e )oat he( heid doon oan 4a .o.1- and she3s )a44in ays li1e /u.1- he( bi) eyes loo1in up n 0at.hin ays- spillin 0i )(atitude .ause she 1ens that 0is 2ist the sta(te( n she3s )ittin 0ell /u.1ed in a se.ond o( t0o? Ah3+e )oat he( hai( in 4a hands- t0istin they da(1 lo.1s- n ah34 pillin he( tae 4e- then a0ay /ae 4e- ad2ustin the pa.e n (an)e so she )its it (i)ht n aye- she 1ens 0hat she3s daein- .ause he( heid settles intae the (i)ht (hyth4 n ah dinnae e+en need tae th(ust 4a ain pel+is in ti4e o( no0t li1e that? :he3s )a))in a bit and she pills a0ay- 0hi.h is a )ood thin) .ause ah 0is de.idin 0hethe( o( no ah 0anted tae bla0 it intae he( 4ooth n sa+e /u.1in he( in the /anny till late( oan- 1eep the 0ee hoo( a0 hoat n bothe(ed? 6it ah thin1- na0- ah3ll )ie he( it /ine style (i)ht no0? Ah34 oan toap ay he( n )ittin in- n she3s sayin- I A0 Te((y- 0i shouldnae be daein this- no the no0 ? ? ? Ah3+e hea(d that son) be/o(e? I ,ant ays tae stoap then- ah )asp? De dinnae hu+ tae be that 6a4be( Gas.oi)ne .unt oot ay that 'ni(ersity Challenge tae 1en the ans0e( tae that? A0 ah )it is anothe(- I A0 Te((y ??? in (eply- n ah ta1e that as 4a /u.1in sta(te( /i( ten a0(i)ht? :o the(e3s 4e (i)ht up- n ah34 sta(tin tae )it intae 4a st(ide no0 n this Gail loo1s a0ay n tenses up b(ie/lythen lets oot a lo0 lau)h n pills 4a heid tae he(- n thi(3s a st(an)e e9p(ession oan he( /a.e? Ah loo1s up n sees that =a))ie3s .o4e intae the (oo4? =a))ie pills he( ai(4s in the shape ay a .(oass o0e( he( .hist? It3s li1e she3s 2ist been shot? :he stands thai(e /i( a bit sayin no0t- he( 0ee 4ooth a0 t0isted? I Di3ll need tae )o- 4a An.le Ale.3s he(e- she /inally 0hispe(s at us- loo1in a0 upti)ht n 0o((ied? Gail tu(ns a0ay a)ain- /a.in the 0a0- n )oes- I A0 )od- ah .annae /u.1in stand thisG :he3s )(ippin the bed .lathes- then .la0in the4 li1e she3s a /u.1in .at? Ah34 still /u.1in solid but and nae .unt3s )aun nae0hai(e till ah3+e bla0n 4a 4u.1? I :hut up the no0- ah )oes tae =a))ie- but still loo1in at Gail as ah 1eep th(ustin- I you )o doon n see yi( An.le Ale. ? ? ? 0e3ll be ??? Ah hea(s the doo( sla4 n then Gail sta(ts )aun /i( it a)ain n 0ithin a /e0 4ai( st(o1es she3s 4a1in they noises- n ah 0anted tae )it he( oan toap /i( a bit- then 4ibbe e+en t(y n sti.1 it in he( othe( hole tae /inish upbut that3ll ha+e tae 0ait no0 .ause ay that dopey 0ee =a))ie .o0- but /u.1 it- it3ll )ie ays so4ethin) else tae loo1 /o(0a(d tae late( oan- so she3s s.(ea4in n 4oanin n ah34 4a1in they )aspin sounds n she3s
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.o4in li1e a t(oope( n ah a4 n a0- n than1 /u.1 =a))ie3s ta1en the hu4p n 0ent oot the (oo4 as 0e e9plode .ause yon Gail3s )aun oa/ li1e a pint ay 4il1 le/t oot in the :aha(a Dese(t? I A0 Te((y ? ? ? you3(e a /u.1in ani4al ? ? ? she s.(ea4s? Fu.1Bah((((( ? ? ? Ah )asps n then 2ist huds he(- )iein he( e+e(y d(oap ay it thit3s in ays? Then- lettin 4a b(eathin settle- ah sta(ts thin1in aboot he( bein at Au))ie3s n a pape n that- n ah34 hopin tae /u.1 she3s oan the bun? Ah )ies he( a slobbe(y 1iss on they bi) lips- then ah a(.h 4asel up oan 4a ai(4s n loo1 he( in the eye? I ,e3+e )oat /u.1in .he4ist(y doll? De dinnae tu(n yi( ba.1 oan that? Cen 0hit ah34 sayinH :he nods? That3s a )(eat line- it .a4e /ae one ay they /il4s ah sa0 at the Classi. in Ni.olson :t(eet? )ercy*s )rogress, ah thin1 it 0is? The one aboot the 0hite boy thit )oat the da(1ie3s .o.1 pit oan hi4? Ah )it oa/ he( n 0i sta(t )ittin d(essed? Then =a))ie3s ba.1 in- I Douse hu+ tae )o- she nea(ly s5ueals at us- he( eyes a0 (id- t0istin a lo.1 ay he( ain hai( in he( /in)e(s? Gail3s loo1in /o( he( 1ni.1e(s- but ah3d )oat thai(e /i(st n done a snea1y yin n stu.1 thu4 in 4a poa1it? :ou+eni(? Li1e ah did 0i that Philippa /ae Hudde(s/ield ah sha))ed in that )uesthoose? A sou+eni( ay 6la.1pool? ,hy noH Ea.h tae thi( ain? Di( bette( (idin bi(ds thin t(a4s- bette( li.1in /annies thin sti.1s ay (o.1?

That3s 0hat ah say any0ey? This =a))ie3s 0ell nippy but? I C34oan =a))ie- 0hat3s the p(oble4H Di( An.le3s no )aunny bothe( us up he(e- ah tell he(? I Di( no 2ealous ay Gail u( yeH I Fu.1 o//- she spits oot? I Jist you )it oot ay he(e sonG Ah sha1e 4a heid as ah la.e up 4e dessie boots? Ah .annae stand i44atu(ity in a lassie 0hin it .o4es tae issues ay the .o.1 n /anny? I/ ye 0ant a sha)- hu+ a sha)? I/ ye dinnae- 2ist say na0? I Dinnae be )ittin a0 /u.1in 0ide- =a))ie- 4e n Gail he(e 0i( 2ust hu+in a 0ee bit ay /un- ah 0a(ns the dippit 0ee .o0? E+e(y .unt3s entitled tae so4e en2oy4ent? ,hat3s the bi) /u.1in p(oble4H Ah should3+e sais that line /ae +mmanuelle, ah thin1 it 0is- 0hai(e the boy )oesF don3t be so hun)Bup and (ep(essed- baby? I That3s a0 it 0is- =a))ie- Gail says- still loo1in /i( he( pants- I dinnae )o a0 /unny aboot it? Dou3+e no e+en been )aun oot 0i Te((y? =a))ie )(its he( teeth at Gail- then tu(ns tae 4e- I :o does that 4ean yi( )aun 0i he( no0H she as1s- a0 hu(t? Dinnae /i)ht )i(ls- dinnae
//

/i)ht- thi(3s enou)h tae )o (oond /i( e+e(ybodyG Gua(anteedG Dinnae be sae (ep(essed and hun)Bup- babyG Ah tu(ns (oond tae Gail n 0in1s at he(? I Na0 ? ? ? dinnae be da/t- =a))ie? Li1e ah 0is sayin- it 0is 2ist a da/t bit ay /un? Eh- GailH De )oat tae hu+ a lau)h- eh? C34e(e n )ies a 0ee .uddle- ah says tae =a))ie- pattin the bed? I Dou 4e n Gail he(e- ah 0hispe(s? I Di( An.le Ale.3s no )aunny bothe( us? :he stands he( )(oond- loo1in a0 ha(d at ays? Ah 4ind 0hin 4e n Ca(l E0a(t 0i( 4onito(s at the s.hool dinne(s- se(+in up the )(ub tae oo( table? Cause eh /an.ied he(- the =il1y 6a(s 0i( oan hi4 a0(i)ht- n Ca(l used tae 4a1e su(e she )oat a )ood load- se.onds as 0ell? ,i p(obably 1ept the s.(u//y 0ee .o0 ali+e Ca(l n 4e- n this is the /u.1in than1s ah )it? 6et ye oo( =( E0a(t 0id hu+ li1ed tae hu+ se(+ed up the 0ee hin)Boot 0i the po(tion thit ah 2ist didG Gua(anteedG I Te((y- you seen 4a pantsH Gail as1s? I Ah .annae /ind 4a /u.1in pants? I Na0- thi( no 4a siEe- ah lau)hs? They3ll be (i)ht unde( 4a pillay the ni)htG :ni//ityBsni//Bsni/lG I T(y /u.1in 0ell 1eepin the4 oan so4eti4e- ye 4i)ht no lose thu4 sae easy- =a))ie hisses at he(? I Aye- 2ist li1e you did- Gail snaps ba.1? I Dinnae )it /u.1in 0ide 0i 4e- hen- 2ist .ause yi( in yi( ain hooseG =a))ie3s eyes3+e )aun a0 that 0ate(y 0ey a)ain? E+e(y .unt 1ens thit Gail 0id batte( /u.1 oot ay he( in a s5ua(e )o? This is so4e 0ee sho0 (i)ht enou)h? Ah3+e )oat 4a 1e1s oan n ah34 o0e( tae =a))ie n ah3+e )oat 4a ai(4s (oond he(? :he3s t(yin tae push ays a0ay but she3s no t(yin that ha(d- i/ ye 1en 0hat ah 4ean? I ,i 0i( 2ist 4u.1in aboot- ah tells eh(? I No0 lit3s 2ist a0 sit doon n (ela9? I Ah .annae (ela9G Ho0 1in ah (ela9G =uh =a n Dad3s doon in 6la.1pool n 4a An.le Ale.3s he(eG Eh3s ey0is d(un1 n eh3s a0(eady set ehs ain hoose oan /i(eG Ah3+e )oat tae 0at.h hi4 a0 the ti4e ? ? ? it3s no /ai(she )(eets- n she3s (eally blubbe(in a0ay no0? Ah t(ies tae .o4/o(t eh(- 0hile 0at.hin Gail pull he( b(ee1s oan 0i nae 1ni.1e(s? :he 4i)ht t(y tae steal a pai( /ae =a))ie late(- .ause ah thin1 that bi) bla.1 bush ay he(s 4i)ht 2ist sho0 th(ou)h they thin .otton t(oose(s othe(0ise? =ind you- ah didnae thin1 she3s that /a( tae )it ha4e? I Ni+i( 4ind yi( An.le Ale.- =a))ie? Gail sha1es he( heid? A0 she3s inte(ested in is he( pants? =ind youthat 4a1es t0o ay usG
/)

=a))ie3s a bit /ea(t ay he( An.le Ale.? :he3ll no )o doon and /a.e u4- e+en tae 4a1e us a .up ay tea? I Dou dinnae 1en u(n Gail- eh3s ey0is d(un1- she slobbe(s? =ibbe it3s an e9.use- 4ibbe she 1ens that as soon as she )oes oot the doo( ah3ll be (i)ht up yon Gail a)ain? I A0(i)ht- ah3ll )o doon n say hiya- n 4a1e so4e tea? b(in) it up he(e? ,i a 0ee bis.uit- ah )oes- i4itatin the 0ee Gles)ay laddie oan that 6(itish 7ail ad+e(t? Pe(( 0ee .unt thou)ht it 0is a bi) deal tae )it a bis.uit oan a t(ain? P(obably is th(ou)h thai(e thou)h- thi3ll be li1e )old dust /o( they /u.1in s.(u//s? Aye- Gles)ay patte(ye .annae beat it- o( so they 1eep tellin any .unt da/t enou)h tae listen? Ah head doonstai(s hopin that the boy3s no one ay they psy.ho .unts? Thin) is- it3s ni.e tae be ni.e n ah /ind that 4aist .unts a(e usually a0(i)ht by you i/ you3(e a0(i)ht by thai4?

5n'le Ale'
It3s a 4a01it /u.1in hoose this- it hus tae be said? =uh =a3s no )oat 4u.h 4oney- but e+en 0hin she 0is oan he( ain- be/o(e she too1 up 0i that Ge(4an .unt- she hud oo( pla.e a pala.e .o4pa(ed tae this? =a))ie3s (oo4 is the best in the pla.e- it3s li1e it belon)s in a di//e(ent hoose? It3s /unny- but 0hen ah )it doon the stai(s intae the /(ont (oo4- ah /ind that ah (e.o)nise the boy? Ale. Connolly? A (i)ht teaBlea/ eh is n a0?

This Ale. boy loo1s at ays 0i 0hat 4uh =a .alls a (eal d(in1e(3s /a.e- a0 /lushed n 0i li+e( spoats .(a0lin up the ne.1? :till- ah3d (athe( hu+ so4ebody li1e that a(oond thin that yon Ge(4an .unt that she )oes 0i? :teys in a0 the ti4e- ni+i( d(in1s- n )(u4bles at 4e i/ ah .o4e in stea4in oot ay 4a heid? The soone( 4e n Lu.y )it a pla.e ay oo( ain- the bette(? I Aye- aye- the Ale. )ad)e )oes- a0 so(t ay /(osty? Ah 2ist 0in1s at the auld .unt? I A0(i)ht- 4ate? Ho03s it )aunH Jist up the stai( 0i =a))ie n he( pal thai(eplayin so4e (e.o(ds? I :o that3s 0hat ye .all it no0- is it- eh says- but it3s a so(tay lau)h? This .unt3s a0(i)htF he disnae )ie a /u.1 (eally? Ah34 su(e this (oo43s )oat e+en 4ai( bo))in sin.e ah 0is last in it? =a soles sti.1 tae the .(a.1ed linon tae the /usty s5ua(e ay .ai(pit in the 4iddle ay it? Ale.3s sittin in a batte(ed e(4.hai( t(yin tae (oll a /a) 0i sha1in hands? Oan the .o//ee table in /(ont ay hi4 thi(3s piles ay .ans- a hal/B
/#

e4pty hal/Bboatil ay 0his1y n a bi) )less asht(ay? Eh3s 0ea(in a 0o(n blue suit n tie- it3s nea(ly the sa4e .olou( as the .unt3s eyes- 0hi.h stand oot in ehs (uddy .oupon? Ah 2ist sh(u)? I Dou3(e Ale.- ayeH Ah34 Te((y? I Ah 1en 0ho ye a(e- ah3+e seen ye oan the lo((ies? A(e you Hen(y La0son3s laddieH AhBa0? Eh 1ens the auld .unt? I Aye? De 1en u4H I Ah 1en ay u4- bit eh3s )oat a /e0 yea(s oan 4e? D(in1s in Leith- eh? Ho03s eh daeinH ,hae )ies a /u.1 aboot that .unt? I A0(i)ht- ah 4ean ??? ah dinnae 1en? :ee4s tae be /ine? ,e dinnae (eally )it oan- ah tell this Ale. )ad)e- but ah thin1 eh tippled that as soon as the auld basta(d3s na4e 0as 4entioned? This Ale. )(unts so4ethin- it3s li1e eh3s .lea(in ehs th(oat? I Aye- eh sais e/ti( a bit- I /a4ilies? That3s 0hai(e a0 the p(oble4s .o4e /ae? 6it 0hat 1in ye dae- ehH Dou tell 4e- eh )oes- sp(eadin ehs hands oot- the (olled /a) stu.1 in one 4itt? Thi(3s no0t ye 1in say tae that? :o ah 2ist nods n )oes- I Ah34 2ist 4a1in yi( nie.e n he( /(iend a 0ee .up ay tea? De 0ant yinH I Fu.1 the tea- eh li)hts the /a) and points at the sta.1 ay .ans oan the table? I Hu+ a bee(? Goan? Help yi(sell? I Ah 0ill late( oan- Ale.- a 0ee bee( n a blethe( li1es- but ah dinnae 0ant tae be (ude tae 4a .o4pany up the stai(s- ah e9plains tae hi4? Ale. sh(u)s n loo1s a0ay as i/ tae say- a0 the 4ai( /o( 4e? Thi(3s so4ethin aboot this auld /u.1e(- ah li1e the .unt- n ah 0ill hu+ a bit ay a .hin0a) 0i hi4 late(? Aye- 1eep u4 s0eet soas ah 1in 1eep oan )ittin up =a))ie n Gail (oond he(e? N they a0 say up the 6usy that eh does a loat ay du.1in n di+in a(oond? Ase/ul .unts tae 1en- they so(t ay /ellaysF .onta.ts n that? Ah )its th(ou)h intae the 1it.hen- nea(ly /a0in n b(ea1in 4a ne.1 oan a bit ay loose lino? Ah sta(ts tae bile the 1ettle? It3s no a plu)Bin yin- so ye hu+ tae dae it oan the )as? E/ti( a bit ah head ba.1 upstai(s 0i a pot ay tea0he(e these di(ty 0ee .o0s a(e 0aitin /o( ays? =a))ie3s sittin 0i a .assette .ase- 0(itin the t(a.1s ontae the .ai(d /ae this albu4 she3s been tapin? :he3s 4a1in a 4eal ay it@ it3s an e9.use no tae tal1 tae Gail? I Tea up- ah )oes? Then- as =a))ie loo1s up at ays- ah saisF I Dinnae 1en 0hit yi( 0o((ied aboot =a))iethat Ale. boy3s sound? I Aye- but you dinnae 1en u4 li1e ah do- she 0a(ns ays a)ain?
/7

Gail3s still ha(pin oan aboot he( 1ni.1e(s? I This is daein 4a heid in- she sais? :he3ll no be needin thu4 i/ she3s )aunny be hin)in aboot 0i 4e- that3s /u.1in 0ell )ua(anteed?

&all# and &id 4a6es
Ah 0a1e up in the bed- s0eatin li1e /u.1- n ah (ealise ah34 oan 4a ain? Ah loo1s n sees the t0o ay thai4lyin sleepin oan the /lai(? It a0 .o4es ba.1 tae ays@ in the ni)ht ah 4ana)ed tae )it in the 4iddle ay thu4thin1in aboot th(ees up- li1e in the /il4s? Ah t(ied tae )ie thu4 a 0ee /(i)- the pai( ay thu4 at the sa4e ti4ebut they both )oat a bit /unny? Neithe( ay thu4 0ould lit ays up thu4 e/ti( that- too shy in /(ont ay the othe( yin? :o ah3ll 2ist need tae 1eep daein the4 sepa(ately /o( a 0hile- then thi3ll be intae a th(ees up? Gua(anteed? Aye- ah t(ied it oan a0 ni)ht- but they 0idnae hu+ it- so e/ti( t(yin tae 1i.1 ays oot ay bed- n thi( 0is nae /u.1in .han.e ay that- they baith )a+e up n 0ent oan tae the /lai( tae 1ip? :o ah 2ist hud a )ood /u.1in 0an1 tae 4asel n d(i/ted oa/ tae sleep? It 0is a 0ee bit ay a /(ust(atin ni)ht but a )ood 1ip suited ays .ause it3s the /itba the day n the dan.in the ni)ht? :pi.e ay li/e? It 0isnae easy tae )it oot ay bed in the 4o(nin but- the (oot ah3+e )oat oan- 0i they t0o 2ist lyin thai(e doEin oan the /lai(? Ah hus anothe( 0ee 0an1 o0e( thu4- .at.hin 4aist ay it oan the .a(pet- thou)h a bit 0ent on the ai(4 ay Gail3s blouse? Then ah .(eeps doonstai(s n sees Ale.- still in the sa4e a(4.hai(- 0at.hin that Tis%as. He( 0i the ba((y tits is oan it? I That :ally Ja4es- a /u.1in (ide- ehH ah )oes?

I :ally Ja4es- Ale. slu(s? It .ould be /u.1in 0ell :id Ja4es /o( a0 that auld .unt 1ens? The 0his1y boatil3s e4pty no0- n ah thin1 4aist ay the .ans a(e n a0? I De 0ant so4e teaH eh as1s? I ,ell Ale.- ah 0is 0onde(in i/ that 0ee o//e( ay a d(in1 0is still oanH I Hu+ tae be the pub- eh )oes- pointin tae the pile ay e4pties oan the .o//ee table?
/*

I :ound by 4e- ah tell u4? :o 0e head doon the (oad tae0a(ds the ,heatshea/? It3s a b(a4e( day n ah34 loo1in /o(0a(d tae the (itba? Thi(3s been a loat ay tal1 aboot )ittin a 0ee 4ob the)ithe( /ae the s.he4e the day- 0i Doyle n a0 that bun.h? =aist ay the boys in oo( s.he4e suppo(t He(ts- it bein this end ay toon- but thi(3s a )ood /e0 Hibees sp(in1led a(oond? I/ ye .ould )it a0 the lo.al Hibs the)ithe(- it 0ould be 5uite a 0ee tea4 .ause ye )oat the li1es ay Doyle n Gentle4an n 4e n 6i((ell that3s Hibs? Thi(3s ey0is tal1 but- n that3s usually a0 it is? ,hate+e( happens thou)h- 0e3ll hu+ a lau)h? That3s one thin) aboot Doyle@ eh3s a .(aEy .unt- but yu+ ey0is )oat a tale tae tell 0i hi4? Li1e that ti4e 0i .ho(ied a0 that .oppe( 0i(e- that 0is /u.1in (ad)e? Cunt3s still no peyed us /i( that but? Ah tu(ns tae Ale. as 0e pass by the pa(1- the pub .o4in intae si)ht? I :o yi( 4a1in su(e thit =a))ie disnae )it up tae any nonsense 0hile eh( =a n Dad3s doon in 6la.1poolH I Aye- ah34 no daein a +e(y )ood 2oab ay it- u4 ahH Eh lau)hs- a0 sa(.asti.? I Ah34 a )entle4an- Ale.? ,i 2ist sat up n blethe(ed a0 ni)ht? Ah le/t thai4 tae .(ash? =a))ie3s a ni.e lassie- she3s no li1e that? I Aye- (i)ht- eh )oes- no belie+in a 0o(d? I Na0- that3s )en up li1es? Ah thin1 eh( 4ate 4i)ht be a bit ay a (a+e( oan the 5uiet- bit no 0ee =a))ie- ah e9plains? It3s best no tae lit the .unt thin1 thit yi( ta1in the pish? Eh3s thin1in aboot this- .ause thi(3s a bit ay silen.e as 0e )o intae the pub? Ah o(de(s a .ouple ay pints and that pits a s4ile ba.1 oan ehs /a.e? De 1in tell that Ale.3s a (i)ht pee+e a(tist ay the /i(st de)(ee? I :o ho0 lon) u( ye steyin thai(e /i(H ah as1 u4? Eh sta(es oa/ intae the distan.e? I Dinnae 1en? Thi( 0is a /i(e in 4a hoose? The .olonies at Dai(y? 6ad 0i(in? The 0hole pla.e 0ent upF 4a 0i/e3s in the hoaspital- the loat- eh e9plains? Then eh sta(ts )ittin na(1y? I The /u.1in )as boa(d a(e the .unts thit u( tae bla4e ? ? ? ah34 )ittin a la0ye(- ta1e the .unts tae .oo(t? I Too (i)ht- Ale.- thi(3s bound tae be a bit ay .o4pensation /i( thit? It3s yi( /u.1in entitle4ent 4ate- ah tells u4? I Aye- eh s4iles a0 )(i4ly- I 0hin ah )it that insu(an.e .lai4 so(ted oot ??? it3ll be all syste4s )o?

*ill# *irrell. &e8 as a $ootball &ubstitute
Ah hea(s the (attlin ay boatils in thi( .(ates so ah )oes tae the 0indae n pills ba.1 the .u(tain? It3s Te((y3s 2ui.e lo((y n ah 1in hea( u4 )iein it the patte(? Jist 0hen ah thin1 aboot shoutin oot the 0indae o( )aun doon /i( a blethe(- ah see thit eh3s tal1in tae =a))ie O(( n this othe( lassie? That3s 2ust b(utal@ so ah dinnae thin1 ah3ll bothe(? No that ah3+e no0t a)ainst =a))ie- she3s a0(i)ht- but ah hud this shoutin 4at.h 0i he( auld 4an the othe( 0ee1? The tosse( ey0is .o4es ba.1 pished 0i ehs 0i/e /ae the booEe(- n they hu+ a bi) /i)ht in the st(eet? It 1eeps 4uh =a a0a1e? =a auld 4an3ll no dae no0t- so ah )oes tae the doo( n hus a 0o(d? The boy )oat 0ide- sais ah 0is 2ist a da/t 0ee laddie? Ah telt u4 ah3d sho0 u4 0hae the da/t 0ee laddie 0is i/ eh .a4e ootside? Eh 0is )aunny n a0- till ehs 0i/e stepped in n pilled u4 ba.1? ,hin ah sa0 =a))ie thai(e ah le/t it- .ause she 0is upset n a0 n ah didnae 0ant tae e4ba((ass he(@ it3s no /ai(- she3s done no0t 0(on)? Te((y3s )iein he( n he( 4ate the .hat? Ah 1en eh disnae li1e it that ah3+e been daein it 0i D+onne? It3s a0(i)ht /i( hi4 tae sha) anythin) thit 4o+es- 0hin eh3s 4eant tae be en)a)ed n a0- but i/ ehs siste( does it eh )its a0 st(oppy? That3s Te((y La0son butF b(utal? D+onne3s a0(i)ht- a )ood lassie tae be Te((y3s siste(? Te((y3s 4a 4ate- but ye 0idnae li1e tae )o oot 0i a lassie thit 0is li1e hi4? I/ yin e9isted? No that ah34 )aun oot 0i D+onne? Li1e ah3+e t(ied tae tell he(? Hu+ tae stoap 4essin 0i he( thou)h? That3s th(ee ti4es no0- n only on.e 0i a /lun1y n a0? 6(utal? ,hat a thou)htF bai(nin D+onne n bein stu.1 0i Te((y /i( a b(othe(BinBla0? 6(utal beyond belie/? Na0- ye dinnae 0ant tied doon? No tae a lassie 0hae 2ist steys a
)0

.ouple ay st(eets a0ay? =ibbe tae so4e bi(d /ae :pain- o( Cali/o(nia o( 6(aEil? E+en /u.1in Leith o( so4e0he(e- but no /ae (oond he(e? Ap the toap ay 4a stai( the /i(st ti4e@ a 1nee t(e4ble(? Nae 0ey 0id she be up the sti.1 /ae that- .ause a0 the spun1 2ist /a0s oot? Ey0is a .han.e 4ind- .ause yi( (i)ht up thu4 0hin it s1ooshes oot? The ne9t ti4e 0is doon Colinton Dell- up a)ainst the 0a0 a)ain- doon the tunnel- n the thi(d 0is in he( bed(oo4 0hin 0i too1 the e/ti(noon oa/ s.hool? DaEed a (ubbe( 2ohnny thai( but? ,e hud loads ay ti4e- a 0hole pa.1et- but ah 2ist did it the on.e .ause ah 0is telt thit it /u.1s up yi( le)s /i( the t(ainin?

It3s ba((y sittin he(e in the hoose oan 4a ain? Ah lo+e F(iday dinne(ti4es- .o4in ha4e n hu+in the pla.e tae 4asel? 7ab at the s.hool dinne(s- 4uh =a n /aithe( baith at 0o(1? It )ies ye ti4e tae thin1? =a))ie n he( 4ate )o a0ay n Te((y3s lo((y d(i+es o//? Thi(3s so4e 0ee /i(stByea( lassies )aun past no0? Thi( a0 s1inny- e9.ept one thit loo1s 4ai( li1e a thi(d yea(@ tits n e(se n a0 that? Loo1in at thu4- ah sta(ts tae /eel a bit so((y /i( the lassie? :he3s (eally 2ist li1e he( 4ates- ye 1in see it in he( eyesF a bai(n li1e the (est ay thu4? Cause she3s )oat a0 the paddin but- they3ll a0 be )aun up tae he(- di(ty .unts li1e Te((y n that- )aun phoah)ie3s a (ide- tou.hin he( up n a0 that? Ah thin1 that3s b(utal? I/ ah hud a siste( n any 0an1e( t(ied that 0i he(ah3d )o n batte( thi( heid in? =ibbe Te((y thin1s it3s li1e that 0i 4e n D+onne- .ause she3s 2ist se.ond yea(? D(asti.G He(e she3s .o4in doon the (oad n a0? He( hai(3s tied ba.1 in a pony tail- n she3s )oat this s1i(t oan thit3s a )ood /e0 in.hes abo+e the 1nee? :he3s no .(oasin o0e(- 0hi.h 4eans she3s .o4in /i( 4e? :he 4ust 1en ah34 at ha4e- o( 4ibbe she3s 2ist nipped (oond oan the o// .han.e? 6(utal? Ah .ould (ide he( no0? In 4a ain bed- a (ide in 4a ain bed? De 1in hea( he( /ootsteps .o4in up the stai(s? Ah34 thin1in aboot he( le)s- ho0 0hin 0i( oan the stai(s ah li1e tae stall behind- 4a1in oot ah34 tiein 4a la.e- soas ah 1in 0at.h he( )aun up? The doo(bell )oes? Ah3+e )oat the 4at.h the 4o(n3s 4o(nin? Dinnae 0ant 4a le)s /u.1ed? They say a Dundee Anited s.out 4i)ht be thai(? It )oes a)ain?
)1

Then the lette(bo93s opened n ah 1in hea( he( .(ou.hin doon- loo1in intae the lobby /i( si)ns ay li/e? It 0id be )ood tae hu+ a (ide up he(e- ta1e the e/ti(noon oa/? Ah dinnae 0ant he( tae thin1 0e3(e )aun oot the)ithe( but? Aye- ah3+e )oat /itba the 4o(n? Ah i)no(e it- n 0at.h he( )aun oot the stai( n doon the (oad?

The Referee3s a *astard
Ah34 4o+in oantae a .(oss/ield ba0 /ae Cenny and ah t(y n t(ap it- 0ithoot 1illin the ba0 (i)ht? It (uns oan a bit n thi(3s a Fet boy )aun /o( it? ,e .latte( intae ea.h othe( n ah )its (i)ht up n he3s still oan the de.1? The (e/e(ee3s blo0n n )ied a /oul a)ainst 4e? ,hat a (ad)e? I De 0i( sho0in studs son- n no in 4a )a4e ye dinnae- eh s5uea1s at ays? I Goat thatH Ah 0al1 a0ay? It 0is a /i/tyB/i/ty ba0? That3s b(utal? I Goat thatG eh (epeats? Ah34 nea(ly )aunny say that it 0is a /i/tyB/i/ty ba0 but na0- ah34 no )aunny e+en tal1 tae a toss li1e that? These 0an1e(s thin1 thit thi( )(eat- but thi( 2ist auld naeB4ates types that li1e tae o(de( youn) boys a(ound? De 1en the so(t? De 2ist i)no(e the4- ne+e( spea1 tae the4? They hate that? Li1e that 0an1 6la.1ie at the s.hool? That tossba) 0is oot ay o(de( yeste(day- 0hat eh did tae 4e- Ca(l n Gaily? I/ eh3d3+e been .au)ht by =.Donald o( Fo(bes it 0id hu+ been hi4 in t(ouble- no us? I/ they beha+ed 0i anybody thi( ain a)e li1e that they 1en that they3d )it a bu(st 4ooth- so they )it in+ol+ed 0i the li1es ay us tae 4a1e the4 /eel a0 bi) n s4a(t? De 1en the type? Any0ey- the 0histle )oes a)ain- n it3s o+e(- 0e3+e .u//ed the4 and 0e3(e si9 points .lea( no0- .ause :al+y dinnae play until 4id0ee1? 6a.1 in the pa+ilion- ah34 d(essin 5ui.1- .ause it3s HibsB7an)e(s the day n thi(3s bound tae be a )ood at4osphe(e? ,i( )aun battlin- that3s i/ naebody shites oot? ,hin ah )its oot ah sees 4a b(a( 7ab n ehs 4ates- still hin)in aboot a/te( the )a4e? That bi) Ale9 is so4e siEe ay a boy /i( tae be still at P(i4a(y? :ette(in)ton? Ah thin1 eh3s =a(tin Gentle4an3s .ousin o( so4ethin)- so bein a bi) basta(d 4ust (un in the /a4ily? They3(e at that
)(

a)e 0he(e they3(e sta(tin tae thin1 that thi( 0ide but thi( 2ist 0ee laddies? Ah34 )led that ah3ll hu+ le/t the se.onda(y s.hool 2ist be/o(e 7ab sta(ts ne9t yea(? Di( 0ee b(othe( at the s.hool? That3s deid e4ba((assin)- in /(ont ay yi( 4ates n lassies n that? Tae Fal1i(1 0i a0 ay that? I A0(i)ht- ah say tae hi4? The 0ee 0an13s )oat that auld 2ay1it ay 4ines oan? =ind you- ah thin1 ah says eh .ould hu+ it? It3s still too bi) /i( hi4 but- it3s hin)in? I Dou )aun tae the /itba this a/te(noonH eh as1s ays? I Dunno- ah )oes- /in)e(in the 2ay1it lapel oan u(n? :till no bad 5uality? Ah34 su(e ah 0is pished 0hin ah sais eh .ould hu+ it? I Dou standin he(e tae /(i)hten the .(a0s a0ayH Ehs 4ates lau)h at this? These 0ee (ad)es a(e b(utal? I Funny- eh )oes- then eh points tae 4a 2ay1it poa1it n says- I Ho0 hu+ ye )oat yi( s1e(/ in yi( po.1et

thenH I Aye ? ? ? 0i 0i(nae su(e i/ 0i 0i( )aun o( no? Ah too1 it 2ist in .ase? Listen- ah need tae )o st(ai)ht up the toon tae 4eet Te((y n Ca(l n ,ee Gaily? De )onnae ta1e this ba) ba.1 ha4e /i( aysH 7ab3s s5uintin in the sun? I Ca(l3s a He(ts suppo(te(? ,hat3s eh )aun tae Hibs /o(H =( Kuestions that 0ee (ad)e? It3s ey 3ho0 is it this3 and 3ho0 is it that3 a0 the ti4e 0i hi4? I Day oot- eh? He(ts a(e at =ont(ose o( so4e0he(e in that 0ee da/t Lea)ue n eh .annae a//o(d it- so eh3s )aun 0i us? I ,e3(e )aun n a0- eh 7ab- that Ale9 :ette(in)ton laddie )oes? Then the 0ee (ad)e tu(ns tae 4e n as1sF I A( youse )aun /i)htin 0i boys /ae Gles)ayH Ah sta(e ba.1 ha(d at this /(e.1leB/a.ed 0ee ha(do? Chee1y 0ee 0ideo 2ist stands thai(e s4ilin ba.1 at ays? Ah loo1 at 7ab- then ba.1 tae the :ette(in)ton boy? O0e( ehs shoodi( ah sees =a.1ie )aun doon the (oad 0i Ceith :y4e n Doo)ie ,ilson- thi( .(a0lin up ehs e(se? Jist .ause eh )oat t0o the day- n 2ist .ause eh3s oan the Hibs boo1s? Ah3ll ni+i( .(a0l up that .unt3s e(se but? I ,hae says 0e 0i( )aun /i)htin at the /itbaH I Dinnae 1en- so4ebody telt ays- :ette(in)ton )oes- still s4ilin)? Aye- eh3s a 0ide 0ee basta(d- that yin? I Dinnae belie+e e+e(ythin) ye hea(? I ,he(e yis 4eetinH 7ab )oes? I Ni+i( you 4ind- ah )oes- th(ustin the ba) at hi4- I you 2ist ta1e this ha4e? De )aun 0i Dad tae the )a4eH
)3

7ab shu//les oan the spot n says no0t /o( a bit- then- I =ibbe- no su(e? He3s no )aun 0i 4a /aithe( o( naebody else3s /aithe(- that3s a .e(t? Also /o( su(e is that 4uh =a n /aithe( dinnae e+en 1en eh3s )aun? They 0idnae lit hi4 )o oan ehs ain tae 7an)e(s- He(ts o( Celti. o( any bi) .up )a4e? Ah 4ind 0hin they 0i( li1e that 0i 4eF it 0is b(utal? Ah dinnae 0ant tae e4ba((ass hi4 in /(ont ay ehs 0ee 4ates- n ah34 no )aunny shop u4- but ah 0ant a 0o(d late( oan 0i the 0ee (ad)e? Eh3s loo1in a0 pissed oa/ at ays .ause eh3s )oat tae ta1e the ba) ha4e? Eh tu(ns n heads a0ay? ,hen ah )its doon tae the bus stop- thi(3s t0o ay the Fet boys thai(e- n thi( loo1in at ays? I Aye- aye- ah )oes? I A0(i)ht- one ay the4 says? The othe( yin nods ba.1? Jist as 0ell thi( no )ittin 0ide? Jist as 0ell /i( thai4?

Co22er Wire
The Fet boys )it oan thi( bus e/ti( a bit? Fet3s a /unny tea4- they should be )ood- but thi( b(utal? A 0i/ie at the stoap tells 4e ah3+e 2ust 4issed the t0entyB/i+e? Plenty ti4e but? Ah )its tae thin1in aboot the day- aboot Doyle n that .(o0d? Te((y bette( 4ention tae that Doyle aboot oo( sha(e ay the 4oney /ae the 0i(e? That 0is o0e( a /o(tni)ht a)o no0? ,e a0 too1 the (is1s- bi) (is1s n a0- ni.1in that 0i(e? That 0an13s hudin oot oan us n eh3s )ittin telt? Hi4 and Gentle4an? Ah dinnae .a(e 0hae they a(e? That 0as an a4aEin ni)ht at the 0i(e0o(1s but- totally un(eal? Funny- but it 0is Ca(l that sta(ted e+e(ybody oan aboot (obbin the 0i(e0o(1s- n he3s the one that 0is le/t oot ay it? Eh3d be see1 i/ eh /ound oot? It3s ehs ain /ault but@ ye ne+e( say thin)s in /(ont ay Te((y- no i/ ye 0ant thu4 tae stey se.(et? Ah3+e lea(ned that 4u.h oot ay li/e? :u(e enou)h- Te((y 4entioned it tae Doyle- then eh )oat 4e in+ol+ed? I =e n you 6illy- eh sais? I Ca(l n Gaily a(e ou( 4ates- but tae the li1es ay DoEo Doyle n Gent- thi( 2ist 0ee laddies? They 0illnae 0ant the4 hin)in aboot? De .ould tell that it 0is (eally Te((y 0hae thoat li1e that n a0 but? Ah thou)ht- aye- a0(i)ht- but ah still /elt bad aboot Ca(l bein le/t oot?
)/

He 0is doon thai(e 0i that boy eh 0o(1s /o(- that auld )(o.e( (ad)e? They3d been at the G(anton Cash n Ca((y pi.1in up stu// /i( the shoap? =aist o/ all- in a loadin bay- ootside the /a.to(y- 2ist aboot +isible /ae the :ho(e 7oad- Ca(l noti.ed that they hud these bi) bales ay .oppe( 0i(e- 2ist sta.1ed up doon thai(? ,ell- Te((y hud )oat tal1in tae DoEo Doyle aboot this- 2ist .ause ay DoEo3s auld boy bein a bi) )an)ste( o( .(oo1 o( 0hate+e( the /u.1 eh3s 4eant tae be? The Du1e- they .all the .unt? Dinnae 1en 0hat eh3s 4eant tae be the Du1e ay- 6(oo4hoose o( so4ethin) li1e that? They li1e )iein thi( 4inds a t(eat- so4e /ol1? Anyho0Anited ,i(e hud peyed oa/ a loat ay boys so thi( 0is only a s1eleton sta// thai(? It .a4e aboot that one ay the ni)ht 0at.h4en the(e 0as auld Ji4 Pende(- and he d(an1 in the 6usy? Cou(se- Te((y sta(ts tappin the boy up)ittin in 0i the auld )ad)e n that? Eh tells Doyle eh (e.1ons Pende(3s as bent as a /o(tyBei)htBpen.e pie.e and eh 0id )o alon) 0i us (ippin oa/ the .oppe(? O/ .ou(se- it 0is d(asti.- .ause the pe(( auld boy didnae (eally hu+ any option e/ti( Te((y int(odu.ed u4 tae DoEo- =a(tin Gentle4an and DoEo3s bi) .ousin- 6(i? The pe(( auld )ad)e 0is shitein it@ a0 they 0ee thu)s o(- in Gentle4an3s .ase- bi) thu)s hin)in (oond u4? 6(utal (eally- bit 0hat 1in ye daeH

That 0is 0hai(e the Doyles too1 o0e( e+e(ythin) (eally@ n 4e n Te((y 0i( 2ist alon) /i( the (ide? The thin) isthi(3s /u.1 all tae dae at ni)hts (oond oo( 0ey- ye need a bit ay e9.ite4ent? :o DoEo Doyle- the bi) 4aste( .(i4inal in the s.he4e- the 0ideo Te((y 0ants tae be li1eF he 0is the yin that 0o(1ed oot this plan? Thi( 0as only one 0ey in- n one 0ey oot ay the estate 0he(e the 0i(e0o(1s 0is? Thi( 0is nae 0ey tae d(i+e th(ou)h tae :il+e(1no0es n C(a4ond- the (oad 0as blo.1ed o// at the estate by the G(anton Gas ,o(1s? This 4eant that any .ho(ie hud tae )o in and oot th(ou)h the /o(esho(e (oad? Doyle 1ent that the polis 0i( ey0is .(uisin the /o(esho(e (oad doon by the G(anton indust(ial estate- loo1in /i( 1no.1Bo//? Doyle (e.1oned that 0e should lea+e a +an in the loadin bay du(in the day? The +an 0ould 2ist sit thai( a0 day n Pende(- in the o//i.e- 0ould 4a1e su(e that naebody tou.hed it? ,e3d 0ait till the 0ee1 0hen Pende( .han)ed /ae dayBshi/t tae ba.1Bshi/t- and 0o(1ed (i)ht th(ou)h the doubleBshi/t? That 0ey eh3d be thai( a0 the ti4e- 1eepin an eye oan thin)s? Thi( 0is one bi) p(oble4? Pende( telt us that the(e 0e(e )ua(d du)s that :e.u(i.o( le/t in the )(ounds e+e(y ni)ht? O/ .ou(se- they .ouldnae )it intae his o//i.e- 0hi.h loo1ed oot ontae the loadin bay- but
))

0e3d be (i)ht in thai( 0i thu4 i/ 0e did it Doyle3s 0ey? I/ the du)s (aised the ala(4- Pende( 0as 4eant tae .all the polis? That 0is the least ay oo( 0o((ies butF they thin)s 0e(e t(ained tae )o /i( ye? Doyle 0isnae bothe(ed? ,hin anybody b(ou)ht it up- eh3d 2ist (un ehs hand slo0ly th(ou)h ehs bla.1 hai(littin it /a0 /o(0a(d in laye(s? I ,e3ll ta1e .a(e ay they .unts? =aist )ua(d du)s a(e shite(s? Thi( ba(13s 0o(se thin thi( bite? That3s 0hai(e that sayin .o4es /ae? Te((y 0is un.on+in.ed? I Ah dinnae 1en aboot du)s ? ? ? I Lea+e the /u.1in du)s tae us- Doyle s4iled- loo1in o0e( at bi) =a(ty Gentle4an? The bi) (ad)e loo1ed ba.1 in a 0ey that 4ade ye /eel so((y /i( the Alsatians? Ah34 /ea(t ay naebody- but ah3d (athe( pa))e( 0i t0o Doyles than Gentle4an? The siEe ay hi4@ eh3s a 4onste(- a /(ea1? Fi/teen- thatH No 0ay? Thi(3s a )olden (ule in the s.he4eF ye )o up a)ainst Doyle- n ye )o up a)ainst Gentle4an? And doesn3t that 0an1e( DoEo Doyle 1en it n a0? 6(ian Doyle- the .ousin- 0ent 0i Gentle4an doon tae see Pende( du(in the day- d(oppin oa/ this 0hite T(ansit +an? The auld boy )ied the4 a tou( ay the site- pointin) oot 0hai(e the du)s pat(olled and sho0in the4 0he(e the hu)e (olled bales ay .oppe( 0i(e 0e(e sta.1ed? ,i 4et up the 6usy? 6(ian Doyle see4ed an a0(i)ht )ad)e? Eh 0is aulde( thin us- but e+en he still see4ed a bit 0a(y ay ehs youn)e( .ousin? Eh 0a(ned us that thi( 0is a loat ay 0ei)ht in the 0i(e bales and that 0e3d be lu.1y tae )et a0ay 0i t0o in the +an? Pende(- su.1in oan this 8entolin inhale(- 0is a /at- un/itBloo1in auld boy? Eh see4ed a0/ay ne(+ousespe.ially aboot the du)s? He ne+e( 0ent into the )(ounds- ne+e( .a4e intae di(e.t .onta.t 0i the4? His .a( 0as pa(1ed ootside the o//i.e- and eh .a4e in th(ou)h that 0ey? Eh .ould hea( thu4 ootside thou)h? :o4eti4es one ay the4 2u4ped up at the 0indae and shit hi4 up 0hen the pe(( .unt 0as t(yin) tae 0at.h ehs telly? I =a)ni/i.ent spe.i4en- eh said tae Gentle4an- but then eh 0ent- I e+il basta(d but? The othe( .unt in+ol+ed 0is a boy .alled =.=u((ay- but e+e(ybody 1ent hi4 as Pol4ont- .ause eh3d been in the app(o+ed s.hool thai(? Thi( 0is so4ethin) /unny aboot that (ad)e0o(1s? Eh3d been at oo( s.hool on.e and t(ied tae )it 0ide 0i a 0ee 4ate ay 4ine .alled A(thu( 6(eslin? ,ee A(thu( 0as a )ood )ad)e- ha(4less li1e? Ah pilled up this Pol4ont boy n eh shat it? This 0is yon1s a)o- ba.1 in /i(st yea(- but these thin)s sti.1 0i ye? :o 4e- DoEo Doyle- Te((y n this Pol4ont .unt 0ent doon tae G(anton late( that ni)ht tae .he.1 oot ho0 0e 0e(e )aunny )it in? ,e
)#

hun) (oond the .hippy doon thai(e- the Jubilee? ,e stood at the bus stoap- eatin oo( .hips- loo1in in tae the )(oonds the /a.to(y stood in? Ah didnae li1e the loo1 ay the bi) si)n in the )(oonds? It hud the da(1ened outline ay an Alsatian3s heid 0i the noti.eF SE"6R%"<R 'ARN%N3. 36ARD D<3S #ATR<$ THESE #REM%SES I That /en.e loo1s /u.1in hi)h- Te((y said? I N thi(3s they hooses opposite? :o4e nosey .unt3s bound tae see us? A0 they auldBa)ed pensione(s that .annae )it tae sleep? I Aye- ah 1en- that3s ho0 0i( no )aun o0e( it- 0i( )aun th(ou)h it- DoEo Doyle )oes- eatin ehs /ish n .lo.1in a .ouple ay boys that 0ent intae the .hippy? =e n Te((y 0i( a0 ea(s? I Ah3+e )oat they bi)- indust(ial 0i(e .utte(s- they3d )o (i)ht th(ou)h that? Eh (an ehs hand alon) the /en.e? I Thi( hu)e .unts- they snap the bi) padlo.1 .hains? De need tae yaEe baith ai(4s- he s4iled- de4onst(atin /o( us?

Ah 0isnae su(e aboot that b(utal 0an1e( at a0- but it3s a bit ay a lau)h thou)h- eh? :o4ethin) tae dae that isnae too bo(in? I Aye- 0e .ut it 2ust he(e- eh 0ent- pointin tae a se.tion ay the /en.e? I This .unt- eh said- pun.hin the )(ey- alu4iniu4 bus shelte(- I 1eeps us .o+e(ed /ae the hooses and /ae any passin 4oto(s? Then 0e deal 0i du)s- b(e1 intae the o//i.e n tie up Pende(? Thi( 4i)ht e+en be the 0ee bonus ay a .ash boa9 thai(? Ah 1en eh sais thi( isnae but ah dinnae belie+e the auld /u.1e(? E/ti( that- 0e load the .oppe( 0i(e intae the +an? ,e .ut oo( 0ey oot the botto4 )ate- th(ou)h the padlo.1 .hain- n d(i+e oot th(ou)h the /(ont? The othe( 0at.hies oan the estate 4i)ht see a +an lea+in- but that .ould 2ist be anothe( 0at.h4an /inishinF no as suspi.ious as a +an )aun in. It3s pishBeasy? I ,e3ll no a0 )it intae the +an but- Te((y said? Doyle loo1ed at Te((y li1e eh 0is a bit slo0? Ah 4ind ay thin1in that Te((y 0idnae ta1e that /ae anybody else? I =a(ty 1in d(i+e as 0ell as 6(i- eh sais- a0 i4patient- li1e eh 0is e9plainin tae a bai(n? I ,e )it a se.ond +an- a 0ee yin- n lea+e it pa(1ed o0e( thai(- eh nodded- tae0a(ds they othe( pa(1ed .a(s? I Then 0e 4eet up 0i the (est ay thu4 oot at the bea.h in Gullane?
)7

Ah loo1s at Te((y- but 0aits /o( hi4 tae say so4ethin)? I ,hat /o( GullaneH eh as1s? I 6e.ause- ya da/t .unt- the bla.1 bits ay Doyle3s eyes 0ent a0 bi)- I 0e need tae bu(n the plasti. .oatin o//ay the .oppe( 0i(e be/o(e 0i 1in /lo) it? A dese(ted bea.h3ll be the best pla.e /i( that? Te((y nodded slo0ly- ehs botto4 lip stu.1 oot? De .ould tell eh 0is i4p(essed by Doyle? Te((y ey0is /an.ied ehsel as a teaBlea/- but the li1es ay the Doyles- it3s in thai( blood? They3+e been at this /i( )ene(ations? It a0 0ent a..o(din tae plan? E9.ept /o( Doyle- the 0ey he .ai((ied oan? That (ad)e is /u.1in beyond b(utal? The ni)ht 0e 0e(e daein it- ah 0ent (oond tae Te((y3s? ,e hud a .an ay la)e( in his bed(oo4- n pit oan the Clash3s /i(st albu4? )olice n Thie(es 0ent doon 0ell? Ehs =a loo1ed a0/ay suspi.ious- li1e she 1ent so4ethin) 0is )aun oan? It 0is ele+en o3.lo.1 at ni)ht and 0e 0i( )aun oot? )olice and thie(es, oh yeah,eh, eh . . . ,e 4et DoEo and 6(ian Doyle at the .hippy at the C(oss- then doon tae the Lon)stone tae 4eet Gentle4an and that Pol4ont boy? Husnae )oat that 4u.h tae say /o( ehsel- that boy? Asually ah li1e that- ah34 no intae the li1es ay thai4 that 4outh oa/ a0 the ti4e? ,hat3s it they say aboot e4pty +esselsH De loo1 at politi.ians oan the telly n a0 that- they 1in tal1 a0(i)ht? Ey0is hu+- ey0is 0ill? Dinnae see4 tae be as )ood at so(tin thin)s oot but? O( 4ibbe 2ust no that )ood at so(tin thu4 oot /i( the li1es ay us? They pile in the ba.1 and 0e d(i+e doon tae G(anton? The pla.e is dese(ted- e9.ept /o( a .(o0d ay boys standin ootside the .hippy- lon) sin.e shut? Thu+ been d(in1in- it3s 2ist lo.al boys- boys li1e us- hin)in aboot thi( ain s.he4e- bo(ed- no 0antin tae )o ha4e? Doyle 0at.hed in an)e( /ae the +an? I These .unts ? ? ? ah34 )aunny )o o0e( thai( in a 4inute n tell thu4 tae /u.1 o//- eh sna(led- (unnin ehs hand th(ou)h ehs hai(? ,hin eh pills it ba.1 ye 1in see eh3s )oat that 8Bshaped hai(line- li1e Count D(a.ula? I They 4i)ht be )a4e- 6(ian )oes? I ,e3ll /u.1in 0ell hu+ thu4- Doyle spits? I Ah .a4e he(e tae .ho(ie- no tae pa))e( 0i so4e (ad)es- 6(ian says? I :ta(t anythin) he(e n yi3ll hu+ e+e(y .unt oot@ the polis- these .unts o0e( the (oad in the hooses- the /u.1in loat? Doyle 0as aboot tae say so4ethin 0hen Te((y .ut in- I Loo1s li1e thi( headin a0ay? :u(e enou)h- the boys 0i( lea+in- thou)h t0o (ad)es 0i( 1eepin it
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)aun? I Fu.1 o//- /u.1 o//- /u.1 o//- Doyle hissed? I 7i)ht- eh )oes e/ti( the boys hud said thi( hund(edth /a(e0ell- I these .unts die- n eh opened the /(ont passen)e( doo(? 6(ian )(abbed ehs shoodi(? I :tall ya .unt- eh )oes? I =eant tae be daein a /u.1in 2oab? DoEo Doyle loo1ed at hi4- ehs eyes a0 ha(sh- n ehs 2a0 set? I Dou /u.1in t(yin tae pill 4e up 6(iH eh as1s in a lo0 +oi.e? I Na0 ??? ah34 2ist sayin thit ? ? ? I Dinnae /u.1in t(y n pill 4e up- eh sais so/tly? Then eh spits oot th(ou)h .len.hed teethF I Nae .unt pills 4e upG 7i)htG 6(ian sais nothin)? I Ah sais (i)htG DoEo hisses? I Ah34 no t(yin tae pill ye up? Ah34 2ist sayin thit 0i( he(e tae dae a /u.1in 2oab? I Fine- DoEo )oes- a0 s4iles- then eh tu(ns tae 4e- li1e it3s 4e eh 0is tal1in tae a0 alon)? I Jist as lon) as ye dinnae t(y n pill ays up- eh so(tay sin)s? I These .unts a(e a0ay no0- Te((y )oes- I lit3s )it this /u.1in sho0 oan the (oad? Ah dinnae 4ind bein in the ba.1 ay a +an 0i a bun.h ay bi(ds- but no youse .unts? This .unt he(e- eh loo1s at 4e- I he3s 2ist /u.1in 0ell lit one )o n a0? Da /ilthy basta(d- 6i((ellG I Fu.1 o//- ah )oes- I du)s s4ell thi( ain di(t /i(st? Chee1y /u.1e( hi4? That3s Te((y butF b(utal?

,e opens the doo(s and 0i )et oot 0i the tools? Doyle3s )oat this lon) )lo+e- then this so(t ay padded tube thin) thit eh slips (oond one ai(4? It3s 4ade oot ay a t(a//i. .one? Eh ta1es this auld 2ay1it 0i u4? It s4ells b(utal- li1e ay deid 4eat? E+en thou)h the st(eets a(e dese(ted- it 4ust loo1 /u.1in d(asti.- si- boys .o4in) oot a +an in G(anton 7oad in the 4iddle ay the ni)ht? ,ay past b(utalF 0e3(e 2ist /u.1in a4ateu(s (eally? The )ood thin) 0is that 0e .ut th(ou)h the 0i(e dead 5ui.1- it snaps in one )o unde( they bi) bolt .utte(s? Pol4ont and 6(ian 1eep shoatie /i( any .a(s o( passe(sBby /ae inside the bus shelte(? =a(tin Gentle4an )its th(ou)h /i(st- then Te((y- then Doyle- then 4e? Ah nod /i( 6(ian and Pol4ont tae .o4e ahead? Thi( 2ist th(ou)h 0hin ah hea( a du) ba(1in)- then it .o4es (unnin- oot ay nae0hai(e- (i)ht up tae usG It see4s tae (ealise that 0e3(e in a )(oup n it stops tae a sha(p halt li1e thi( 0is a /o(.eB/ield a /e0 /eet in /(ont ay us? Te((y 2u4ped ba.1 but- and stepped a0ay? Pol4ont 0is (i)ht ba.1 oot th(ou)h the /en.e? Doyle thou)hhad .(ou.hed in an
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a.tion position- that bi) tube thin) /itted (oond ehs ai(4? The du) a(.hed doon0a(ds- about ten /eet a0ay- its ea(s ba.1- sna(lin)? Doyle 0is 2ust sna(lin) ba.1 at it- hudin ehs boundBup n padded ai(4 in /(ont ay it- pullin the auld .oat o0e( the )(oond li1e a :panish 4atado(? It 0is li1e the poste( 4a Aunt Lily b(ou)ht ays ba.1 /ae :pain- the yin oan 4a bed(oo4 0a0- the one ah 0ant tae ta1e doon but the auld )i(l 4oans thit it 0is a p(esentF PLA>A DE TO77E: EL CO7DO6E: 6ILLD 6I77ELL I C34oan then ya .unt ? ? ? 4oan then ? ? ? thin1 yi( /u.1in 0ide ? ? ? Doyle )oes? Then 0i )oat a sho.1@ this othe(- bi))e( du) (o.1ets /o(0a(d- 2u4pin (i)ht o0e( the )(o0lin) du) oan the de.1 n laun.hin itsel/ at Doyle? Eh stu.1 ehs padded 0(ist up- n the du) bit intae it? Ah (an at the othe( du) n it leaped ba.1- then tensed up- )aun lo0 a)ain n sna(lin a0ay- its nost(ils t0it.hin? Doyle 0is still 0(estlin) the bi) du)- but Gentle4an 0as o0e( and stood o0e( its ba.1- then let ehs /ill 0ei)ht doon oan it? It yelped n slo0ly .(u4pled tae the )(oond unde( ehs bul1? Te((y3s ne9t tae 4e n 0i( 1eepin oo( eyes on this othe( yin? I Dinnae 1en aboot this 6illy- eh )oes? I Na0- this 0an13s shat it- ah sais? Ah steps /o(0a(d n the du) 4o+es ba.1? Gentle4an3s still oan toap ay the othe( du) pinnin it doon- n eh huds its snout in baith hands as Doyle 0(estles ehs ai(4 /(ee? 6(ian- hudin a baseball bat- n 4e n Te((yF 0e3(e still /a.in oa/ the othe( du)? I Jist 0at.h the .unt3s 4ooth6(ian says? I A0 they a(e is teeth n 2a0s? They .annae pun.h o( 1i.1- they 1in 2ist bite? C34oan then .unt ? ? ? Pol4ont3s ba.1 in and eh3s passed the bolt .utte(s tae Doyle? Gent3s still oan the du)- no0 hudin its 2a0s shut 0i ehs bi) hands- n pillin its ne.1 ba.1- its heid pushed intae ehs .hest? Doyle puts the bolt .utte( o0e( one ay the du)3s /(ont le)s and thi(3s a ho((ible snap- /ollo0ed by a 4u//led yelp? ,hen he does the sa4e tae the se.ond- thi(3s a st(an)e e.hoey ho0l? Gentle4an lets the du) )o and it t(ies tae
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stand but yelps and it3s li1e it3s dan.in) oan hoat .oals@ it hobbles- s5uea1s and topples o0e(? It3s still sna(lin) thou)h- and it3s pushin) itsel/ alon) on its ba.1le)s- t(yin) tae )et tae Doyle? I ,ide .unt- Doyle )oes- be/o(e bootin) it ha(d in the /a.e? Then eh sto4ps oan its (ibB.a)e a .ouple ay ti4es n the )(o0l be.o4es a 0hine and ye 1en that the du)3s spi(it3s b(o1en? Gentle4an sta(ts bindin the du)3s snout the)ithe( 0i b(o0n- plasti. tape- the 1ind they use 0hin ye /lit hoose/o( the (e4o+als n that- and does the sa4e tae its ba.1 le)s? Doyle3s o0e( tae us n the se.ond du)- n eh th(o0s ehs .oat oot at it- n the (ad)e )(abs it? 6e/o(e it lets )o 0e a0 (un /o(0a(d and stea4 the basta(d- pinnin it doon- 4e pushin its heid (i)ht intae the so/t )(ess? Te((y3s sha1in li1e a lea/ as he huds it doon 0i 6(ian- n Pol4ont3s booted it in the side- .ausin it tae t0ist- 4a1in it nea(ly (ip /(ee /ae 4a )(ip? I Dinnae 1i.1 it- hud itG ah shouts at the 0an1- n eh )its doon n )(ips it? Pol4ont )ets up and bloote(s the se.ond du) in the sto4a.h? Thi(3s a bi) 0hine /ae it- and hu)e bubble .o4es oot one nost(il? I Fu.1in dese(+e tae die- eh says? Then Gentle4an3s o0e( n eh3s oan its ba.1- hudin and tapin its 4ooth shut- then its /(ont pa0s the)ithe(- then its ba.1 yins? I ,i( no /inished 0i youse .unts yit- DoEo s4iles- as 0e )o th(ou)h the )(ounds in the da(1- lea+in both ay the du)s lyin thai( helpless? As 0e )ets /u(the( /ae the pe(i4ete( /en.e the )(ess unde( ou( /eet be.o4es satu(ated 0ith 4uddy 0ate(? I :hhhite- ah )oes- /eelin the .auld 0et seep intae 4a t(aine(s? I :ssh- Te((y 0hispe(s- I nea(ly thai(e? It 0is pit.h da(1 but- n ah34 (elie+ed tae see the li)ht oan in the o//i.e ahead at the boatu4 ay the hill? It sta(ts tae )it steep as the ban1 des.ends tae the .a( pa(1 by the /o(esho(e (oad? :uddenly ah hea(s a s.(ea4? Ah tensed up but it 0is only Pol4ont- 0hae3s /ell o0e(? Gentle4an silently yan1s the tossba) tae ehs /eet 0i one

tu)? E/te( a bit- 0e3(e s5uel.hin) th(ou)h 4ud and by the ti4e 0e hit the .on.(ete ay the loadin) bay- 4a /eet a(e soa1ed (i)ht th(ou)h? It still /eels ba((y but- li1e a 6ond /il4- o( so4e .o44ando 4o+ie 0hen they b(e1 intae the ene4y HK? ,e )it doon tae the o//i.e n Pende( 0illnae let Doyle in? I Open that /u.1in doo(- ya auld .unt- eh3s shoutin in the 0indae? I Ah .annae- i/ ah let ye in the o//i.e- thi3ll 1en ah 0is in oan it- Pende( 0hin)es?
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Gentle4an stands ba.1- then (uns at the doo(- bootin it in 0i t0o 1i.1s? I Aye- eh )oes- I best 4a1e it li1e 0e )oat in /ae the ootside? I De dinnae need tae be in he(eG Pende( )oes- shitein it? I E+e(ythin) you need3s ootsideG Gentle4an3s (i)ht in thou)h- loo1in a(oond li1e that Lu(.h oot ay the Adda4s /a4ily? Pol4ont th(o0s a load ay pape(s oa/ the des1- n t(ies tae yan1 the phone oot by the so.1et- li1e they dae in the /il4s- only the .unt disnae bud)e- on.e- t0i.e? Gentle4an sha1es ehs heid- tea(s it /ae ehs hands and (ips it oot? Te((y3s )aun th(ou)h a0 the d(a0e(s? Auld Pende(3s daein ehs nut? I Dinnae Te((y ? ? ? yi3ll )it 4e 4a /u.1in boo1sG I No0 0e3ll hu+ tae tie you up n a0- Doyle )oes- I soas thi3ll no suspe.t no0t? The auld boy sees that eh3s no 2o1in n eh nea(ly 0ent intae a pani. atta.1? I Ah .annae ? ? ? ah3+e )oat a bad he(t- eh bleats- n ah sa0 that Pol4ont snee( at that? Ah 0ent tae spea1 up oan the auld boy3s behal/- .ause eh 0is te((i/ied? I Jist lea+e u4- ah )oes? Doyle loo1s slo0ly (oond at ays? :o does Gent? Te((y stoaps ehs (u44a)in n pits ehs hand oan 4a shoodi(I Nae .unt3s )aunny hu(t auld Ji4- 6illy- 0i( daein it tae 1eep u4 oot ay bothe(? I/ they see hi4 li1e that thi3ll 1en eh 0is in oan it- eh sais- tu(nin) tae Pende(? I ,ill no dae it till 0i( (eady tae lea+e Ji4- n the :e.u(i.o( )uys3ll /ind ye soon e/te( 0hen they .o4e tae pi.1 up the du)s? I 6ut the doo(3s b(o1en ? ? ? the du)s 4i)ht )et in n )et ays ? ? ? ,e a0 lau)hed at that? I Na0- Doyle said- I the(e3ll be nae du)s a(oond? Te((y loo1s o0e( at Pende(- I :o thi(3s nae .ash in he(e then- Ji4H I Na0- no in he(e? It3s a0 2ist ad4in? As ah sais- thi(3s ha(dly anybody 0o(1in he(e no0 ? ? ? Te((y and Doyle see4 tae a..ept that? Te((y .lo.1s 4a t(aine(s- oo( 4uddy t(ail intae the o//i.e n (i)ht a.(oss the .a( pa(1? I ,hat ha+e I told you about sensible /oot0ea(- 6i((ell- the .o((e.t /oot0ea( /o( the 2obH Dou 0ouldn3t play so..e( in slippe(s- 0ould you boyH eh )oes- in a tea.he(3s +oi.e- the yin hi4 n Ca(l ey0is dae? Doyle lau)hs alon) at this- so does that Pol4ont 0an1e(? E+e(y othe( (ad)e3s )oat boots oan- it3s only 4e 0ea(in t(aine(s n ah /eel a bit ay a toss n it3s /u.1in b(utal? Ah 4ind ah 0isnae happy 0i that- 0i
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Te((y )ittin a0 0ide- sho0in oa/ tae Doyle? The .unt .ould3+e been oan a bu(st 4ooth i/ eh 1ept that up? 6ut 0i 0e(e in? ,e did it- that 0is 0hat .ounted? Gentle4an and 6(ian sta(t li/tin the bi) bales and 0i 4ana)e tae )et t0o in the ba.1 ay the T(ansit +an? ,e .ut oa/ so4e st(ips /ae a thi(d bale n load that n a0? Then Gent does the .hain ay the )ates 0i the 0i(e .utte(s0hi.h a(e .o+e(ed in the du)s3 blood? ,e pull the )ates open? 6e/o(e 0e )o- 0e ta1e auld Ji4 inside? The pe(( auld .unt3s so(tay in sho.1- as 0e bind hi4 tae the .hai( 0i the plasti. tape? De 1in tell 0hin eh 0is sittin up the 6usy- bein) boat pints by Te((y n Doyle- that eh ni+i( ba()ained /i( this? It3s dead b(utal /o( the pe(( boy? Eh3s sla+e(in oan aboot a0 the 4en that used tae 0o(1 he(e@ ho0 4any thi( 0i(- 0he(e they .a4e /aen the li1e? I ,ell- that3s a0 )one no0- Pende(- Doyle says- I alon) 0i the .oppe( 0i(eG 7i)ht boysH ,e nod- n Te((y n Pol4ont u( lau)hin thi( heids oa/? Pol4ont ta1es the baseball bat n 0ields it- 1un)B/u style- slo0ly 4o+in up tae auld Ji4? I ,ill 4a1e it (ealisti.- Pende(- li1e ye 0i( a /u.1in he(o thit pit up a st(u))le ? ? ? Ah )(abs the 0an1e(3s ai(4- n Gentle4an hud 4o+ed /o(0a(d n a0- tae be /ai( tae u4? I Dou 0antin that bat o0e( your heidH ah sais? I Ah 0is only 2o1in- eh )oes? Li1e /u.1 eh 0is? Any en.ou(a)e4ent o//ay us n auld Pende(3s heid 0is split open? DoEo 0is loo1in at ays as i/ eh 0is )aunny say so4ethin)- then o0e( at Pol4ont- as i/ eh should3+e stu.1 up /o( ehsel? Eh (eally loo1ed at Pol4ont li1e that 0an1e( hud e4ba((assed hi4? I Ji4- DoEo sais tae Pende(- I 0hen they :e.u(i.o( .unts .o4e- i/ they as1 0he(e the du)s a(e- 2ist tell the4 that they3+e es.aped? I 6ut ? ? ? but ? ? ? ho0 .ould they es.apeH eh )oes? I Th(ou)h oo( hole in the /u.1in /en.e ya (ad)e- Doyle tells u4? I 6it thi( still tied up- ba.1 up thai(e- 6(ian )oes- pointin tae the top (oad?

I Aye- no0 they a(e- DoEo Doyle 0in1ed? Ah sa0 0hat Doyle 4eant as 0e 4ade oo( 0ey ba.1? Te((y- 6(ian and Pol4ont d(o+e st(ai)ht oot the /(ont )ates- alon) the :ho(e 7oad 0ith the 0i(e? That 0is the (is1iest 0ey- ah supposed- but 4e- Gentle4an and Doyle- 0e hud the 4aist hassle- hu+in tae )o ba.1 th(ou)h the )(ounds in the da(1ness and 4ud? The du)s 0e(e 0he(e 0e le/t the4- still st(u))lin)- the +i.ious one bleedin hea+ily /ae its le) 0ounds? ,e .ould hea( thei( so/t 0hines th(ou)h the tape?
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Doyle bent do0n beside the unin2u(ed Alsatian and st(o1ed it a0 (eassu(in)ly? I The(e- the(e boy? ,hat a lot ay /uss- eh .ooed- then in so(tay babyBtal1- I Dot a dot ay duss ? ? ? Then Gentle4an .a4e o0e( and he and Doyle pi.1ed up an end ea.h o/ the du)- its /(ont and ba.1 le)s- and too1 it th(ou)h the /en.e? Gent had pa(1ed the 0hite Fo(d and eh let )o ay his end ay the du) tae open the ba.1 doo(s? Then they slun) the du) intae the +an- and it s5uealed in pain th(ou)h the tape as it hit the /loo(? Ah 0aited as they 0ent ba.1 in and )ot the se.ond do)- Gent holdin) it by the .olla( to sa+e its in2u(ed /o(ele)s and Doyle ta1in) the ba.1 le)s? In it 0ent 0i the othe( yin? Ah 0isnae intae a0 this? ,hat )oat 4e 0is thit naebody hud telt ays 0hat a0 this shite 0i the du)s 0is aboot? I ,hat the /u.13s )aun oan he(e- ah as1ed? I This is /u.1in b(utal? ,hat yis playin atH I Hosta)es- 4ate- Doyle 0in1ed? Then eh sta(ted lau)hin o0e( at Gent- 0ho 2ist .(eased up? Gentle4an loo1ed that 0ei(d 0hin eh lau)hed- li1e a (eal 4ad a9e 4ania.? Doyle )oes- I These .unts 1en too 4u.h? They 4i)ht )ab- )(ass us a0 up? A0 ye3d need tae dae is tae )it one ay they Do.to( Dolittle /u.1e(s oan the .ase- n 0i a0 )o doon? C34oan- 6i((ell- you sit in the /(ont 0i =a(ty- ah3ll 1eep 4a boys .o4pany in the ba.1? Ah )oat in- and Gentle4an sais tae 4e- I Ni+i( li1ed Alsatians? No a du) ye 1in ta1e tae? I/ ah 0is )ittin a du) it 0id be a 6o(de( .ollie? Ah didnae say no0t- .ause Doyle sta(ts up a)ain? I Not Alsatians- Ge(4an shephe(ds eh boyH eh pu((s a0ay /i( a bit- be/o(e snee(in- I :hitein .unts but- a /u.1in 7ott0eile( o( a pitBbull 0idnae hu+ )oat ta1en that easy? Eh3s been at the speed- and eh passes so4e (oond? Ah 2ist ta1e a 0ee dab .ause ay s.hool the 4o(n- but 4aist ay it .o4es a0ay /ae the sil+e( /oil in Gentle4an3s bi) 0et /in)e(s? ,e 4oto(ed doon tae Gullane- still a0 that .hu//ed 0ey but hu+in tae listen tae Doyle3s si.1 bante( 0i the du)s in the ba.1? He 0as a psy.ho? The 0ey ah sa0 it- he 0isnae (i)ht in the heid? I Cen 0hat they say- they /u.1in t(ibes in A/(i.a n that- eh )oes- )(indin ehs 2a0- ehs eyes poppin oot ay ehs heid- I they say thit i/ ye 1ill so4e .unt- ye ta1e thi( po0e(? It3s the /u.1in hunte( thin)? That 4eans thit 0e3ll hu+ the po0e( ay they /u.1in du)sG ,e /u.1in 0ell did they .untsG Gentle4an 2ust said no0t- sat ahead- d(i+in? That )olice and Thie(es son) 1eeps )aun (oond in 4a heid? It 0is li1e Doyle ni+i( e9pe.ted u4 tae spea1 n eh 0is di(e.tin e+e(ythin) tae0a(ds 4e- 0hi.h ah didnae li1e? I Dou3(e sound 6i((ell- ye dinnae say 4u.h- li1e =a(ty he(e?
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Aye- ye dinnae say 4u.h but ye 1en the /u.1in s.o(e? Thi(3s nae /u.1in bullshit aboot ye? La0son- oan the othe( hand- he3s a di//e(ent sto(y? Ah 1en eh3s yi( 4ate- n dinnae )it 4e 0(on)- ah li1e the boy- but eh3s a bullshitte(? ,hae3s that 0ee 4ate ay you(s- the .unt that .hibbed that boy in the hand at s.hoolH I Gaily- ah )oes? No that ah3d .all that a .hibbin? Jist the 0ee 4an sho0in oa/ tae so4e .unt that )oat 0ide? They thin)s )it a0 e9a))e(ated? I Gaily- that3s it? He see4s a )ood 0ee .unt? :ee4s )a4e? Ah sa0 u4 on.e at the /itba? It3s HibsB7an)e(s at Easte( 7oad in a .ouple ay 0ee1s? ,e should a0 )o- a 4ob ay us /ae the s.he4e n any othe( .unt 0hae3s )a4e? Ah 1en so4e boys /ae Leith? That 0ould be ba((y- )it a /e0 tidy .unts the)ithe( n pa))e( 0i so4e Gles)ay boys? I Aye- yi( on- ah sais- .ause it .e(tainly 0ould? De need yi( ente(tain4ent? Li/e )its too bo(in othe(0ise? Gentle4an- still d(i+in in silen.e- passes ays a pie.e ay .he0in )u4? DoEo sta(ts tellin 2o1es? I ,hat dae ye .all it in Gles)ay- 0hin ye )it t0o .unts oan d(u)s- hu+in a 1ni/eB /i)ht 0i ea.h othe(H eh as1s- then nods tae Gent- I Dinnae tell u4- =a((y? I Dinnae 1en- ah )oes? I A s5ua(eB)o- Doyle lau)hs loudly- li/tin one ay the du)s3 heids up n loo1in at it in the eye? I A s5ua(eB )o- boyG That3s a /u.1in )ood one- eh palH That is a /uB1in beauBtee ? ? ? It 0is a (elie/ tae )it doon tae Gullane and tea4 up 0i the (est ay the boys? They 0e(e unloadin) the .oppe( 0i(e- Te((y and Pol4ont (ollin one 0heel doon oantae the bea.h? They )ot a sho.1 0hen 0e slun) oot the t0o du)s and d(a))ed the4 0hi4pe(in) alon) the .a(Bpa(1? One- ah thin1 it 0is the )a4e yin 0i the b(o1en le)s- hud pished and shat in the +an? Doyle 0as /u(ious? I Dou3(e )aunny die ya di(ty .unt- eh (asped- bendin (i)ht o0e( it? Then eh 2ist suddenly .han)ed- i4pe(sonatin that 6a(ba(a ,oodhoose 0o4an n )oes- I ,a((1eyysssG On.e 0e )ot the bales into position- Doyle doused the4 in pa(a//in and set the4 ali)ht? As the 0ooden .o(e

and 0heels sta(ted tae .at.h- the plasti. (eally be)an to 4elt and a b(illiant- hu)e /la4e /le0 up- .o4in) o// the .oppe(? A0 these poisonous +apou(s /illed the ai(- and e+e(y .unt 4o+ed doon0ind- e9.ept that Pol4ont- 0hae didnae see4 tae bothe(? The blaEe sta(ted to bu(n )(een- and it 0is an a4aEin) si)ht- ye .ould loo1 at it a0 ni)ht? It 0is li1e in s.hool- 0he(e they tell ye that the blue bit ay the /la4e in the 6unsen bu(ne( is .auld? De /elt
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ye .ould 2ist 0al1 intae the )(een /la4e and it 0ould /eel li1e 4a)i.? Ah 0is t(yin no tae thin1 ho0 ti(ed ah 0is- ah .ould /eel it e+en th(ou)h the speed n e9.ite4ent- n ho0 ah hud the s.hool in the 4o(nin and ah3d )it it /ae the auld lady 0hen ah snea1ed ba.1 in? Then Doyle 0ent tae the T(ansit and .a4e ba.1 0i these len)ths ay 0ashin)Bline (ope? Eh )oat it (oond the .olla( ay one du)- then the othe(- and /lun) the othe( end o0e( the b(an.h ay a t(ee? Eh st(un) the4 uphoistin) the4- 0i Pol4ont and Gentle4an helpin u4? As they st(u))led- .ho1in) in the ai(- Pol4ont th(ashed one 0ith the bat? Te((y 0as sha1in) his heid- but eh hud a bi) s4i(1 on his /a.e? Doyle .a4e /o(0a(d 0i the pa(a//in .an? Ah /elt dis)usted- but e9.ited n a0- .ause ah3d ey0is 0onde(ed 0hat it 0id be li1e tae see so4ethin) li+in) bu(n tae death? The du)s 1i.1ed as Doyle pou(ed pa(a//in o+e( the4? He held one3s 2a0s and .(udely slashed the tape open 0ith his :tanley- d(a0in blood as eh slashed th(ou)h a bit ay the )u4 n a0? I Lit3s hea( this .unt s.(ea4- eh lau)hed- daein the sa4e tae the othe(? The du)s 0e(e .ho1in) and ho0lin)? 6(ian- 0hae hud been 5uiet- stepped /o(0a(d n said- I That3s enou)h? Ah34 tellin ye? DoEo 0ent up tae ehs .ousin- e9tendin ehs pal4s- hands in the ai(- li1e eh 0is )aunny plead 0i u4? Then eh (a44ed ehs heid oantae the boy3s nose? Thi( 0as a snap and blood spu(ted? It 0is a )ood- .lean shot? 6(ian held ehs /a.e in ehs hands? De .ould see the /ea( n sho.1 in ehs eyes- th(ou)h ehs /in)e(s? De 1ent thit thi( 0is )aunny be nae .o4eba.1s? I Is that enou)h 6(iH Is that enou)hH Eh pa.ed a(oond 6(ian- a(oond the .a(pa(1then too1 a step tae0a(ds ehs .ousin a)ain? Te((y loo1ed a0ay- oot o0e( the sea- as i/ he didnae 0ant tae 0itness no0t? Ah loo1ed at Gentle4an? I A0(i)htH eh said- no bothe(in? I Aye- sound- ah )oes? I Is this o1ay 0i you 6i((ell- Doyle s4iles- loo1in o0e( at the du)s? One isnae st(u))lin any4ai(? Its eyes a(e open n it3s still b(eathin but- 2ist hin)in /ae its .olla(- bound n .o+e(ed in pa(a//in- it3s li1e it3s too 0ea1 tae /i)ht any4ai(? The othe( yin 0i the b(o1en le)s is still bu.1in a0ay? One ay its le)s is (eally bent o0e(- a0 de/o(4ed? It 0id be 1inde( no0 /o( thu4 tae die? Naebody 0ould ta1e the4 no0- they3d ha+e tae )it put doon any0ey? Ah 2ist sh(u))ed? Thi( 0is no0t any .unt .ould dae tae stoap Doyle? Ehs 4ind 0is 4ade up? Any .unt thit did 0id p(obably end up )ittin the sa4e t(eat4ent as the du)s? I Te((yH DoEo )oes?
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I Ah3ll no phone the 7:PCA i/ you dinnae- eh s4iles- s0eepin a hand th(ou)h that .o(1s.(e0 hai(? This is /u.1in dead b(utal but? 6(ian3s sittin) doon on the sand- still hudin ehs nose? Doyle3s tu(ned ba.1 tae u4? Eh points doon at u4? I =ind ho0 it is thit yi( he(e 0i us? Cause %e /u.1in so(ted this ootG =ind that? Dinnae tell othe( .unts 0hat tae dae n 0hat no tae dae? Dinnae thin1 you 1in 2ist .o4e in he(e n (un the /u.1in sho0G Doyle to(.hed one du)- then the othe(? They s.(ea4ed and 1i.1ed as the /la4es 0(apped (oond the4? A/te( a bit- ah .annae 0at.h- so ah tu(ns up0ind- a0ay /ae the4- n loo1s doon the dese(ted bea.h? Then thi(3s a splattin) sound? The (ope 4ust3+e )oat a bi) dousin) ay the pa(a//in n a0- .ause it bu(ns th(ou)h and one ay the du)s /a0s n t(ies tae )et up n s.(a4ble doon the sand tae the sea? It 0is the )a4e yin 0i the bu(st le)s butso it didnae )it /a(? The othe( one let oot a lo0 ho0l and then it stopped st(u))lin and 0hen its (ope bu(ned it /ell and lay still? I De .annae hu+ a /u.1in p(ope( bea.h ba(be.ue 0ithoot the hot do)s- Te((y s4iled- but eh didnae loo1 .o4/o(table? Then hi4 n Pol4ont n Doyle sta(ted lau)hin- a0 that hyste(i.al 0ey? =e n Gentle4an said no0tneithe( did 6(ian? Late(- 0hen 0e a0 0ent ha4e- Te((y n 4e a)(eed that 0e 0idnae tal1 aboot that ni)ht tae anybody? Ah too1 the ne9t day oa/ s.hool? ,hin 4uh =a as1ed 0hai(e ah 0is- ah 2ist telt he( ah 0is at Te((y3s? :he (aised he( eyes? Ah hud )oat 7ab tae say that ah3d )oat in ea(lie( than 0hen ah did? Eh3s a0(i)ht that 0ey- oo( 7ab? Ah thoat aboot the du)s a bit? It 0is a sha4e? These du)s 0e(e 1ille(s- aye? T(ained tae sho0 nae 4e(.y? De .annae dae that tae a du) but? Cill the thin)- aye- /ai( enou)h- but tae dae 0hat Doyle did sho0s thit ye u(nae (i)ht in the heid? That3s Doyle but- eh? Ah 0anted tae 1eep a0ay /ae hi4 e/ti( that- n ah 0ish ah hudnae said that 0e3d a0 )o tae the /itba the)ithe(? Thin) is- ah ni+i( (eally li1ed that basta(d? No( that snea1y Pol4ont 0an1e(? Gentle4an- ah dinnae 1en aboot? He3s done no0t tae 4e- but hi4 and Doyle a(e as ti)ht as a du.13s

hole? Ah34 /u.1in d(ea4in he(e but- and 4a bus is .o4in? Ah34 no )aunny )o tae 0a( 0i a nutte( li1e Doyle o+e( a /e0 5uid /o( .oppe(- but eh3s )ittin telt a0 the sa4e? Ah )it oan the bus and .li4b upstai(s? It3s tu(nin oot no a bad day? De )it a ba((y +ie0 ay the .astle /ae the toap ay a bus )aun doon P(in.es :t(eet? T(a//i.3s b(utal but? De 1in see ho0 it is Gles)ay people )it a0 upset aboot Edinbu()h- .ause they3+e no0t li1e the .astle- the
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)ai(dins n shoaps n that? People say thi(3s slu4s in Edinbu()h- n that3s t(ue but the %hole ay Gles)ay3s a slu4n that3s the di//e(en.e? That3s ho0 thi( li1e Apa.hes? Nutte(s li1e Doyle stand oot li1e a sai( thu4b th(ou)h he(e- but ye3d ni+i( noti.e the4 in Gles)ay? 7onnie Allison /ae the bo9in .lub )its oan? Ah3+e tu(ned a0ay but eh3s seen 4e n eh .o4es o0e( and sits beside ays? Eh3s .lo.1ed the Hibs s1e(/ hin)in oot 4a poa1it (i)ht a0ay? I Aye- aye? I 7onnie? Eh nods doon at the s1e(/? I De3d be bette( spendin an e/ti(noon doon the bo9in .lub thin oan the te((a.es? Ah34 headin thai( no0? I Aye- you3(e 2ist sayin that .ause yi( a Ja4 Ta(t- ah so(tay hal/B2o1es? 7onnie sha1es ehs heid? I Na0- listen tae 4e 6illy? Ah 1en ye play /itba as 0ell- n li1e 0at.hin it- n a0 that? Di( (eal talent3s as a /i)hte( thou)h? =a(1 4a 0o(ds? =ibbe? I Aye- you3+e )oat talent as a bo9e(- son? Dinnae th(o0 that a0ay? Ah 0ant tae play /itba? Fo( Hibs? Jist tae 0al1 oot in the .olou(s at Easte( 7oad? Alan =a.1ie3ll ni+i( 4a1e it? They3ll see th(ou)h hi4? Too /lo0e(y- a patte(B4e(.hant? I This is 4a stoap- 7onnie- ah sais- (isin n 4a1in hi4 )it up tae lit ays oot? Eh loo1s at ays li1e eh3s an a.to( in that Crossroads, the bit 0hai(e they .o4e ba.1 at the end /i( a oneBline(e/ti( ye thin1 it3s a0 /inished? I =ind 0hat ah sais? I :ee ye- 7onnie- ah )oes- tu(nin n spinnin doon the stai(.ase tae the botto4 de.1 n the doo(s? It 0isnae (eally 4a stoap- ah3d be bette( steyin oan tae the ne9t yin- but it 0is )ood tae be oan 4a ain? ,i a0 the t(a//i. oan P(in.es :t(eet- I3d be nea(ly as 5ui.1 0al1in doon tae the ,i4py?

Andre" -allo"a#. Lateness
In a 0ey it 0is Ca(oline A(5uha(t3s /ault that 0e 0i( late? Deste(day in (e))ie she 0is 0ea(in that b(oon s1i(t 0i the 0ee buttons up the sides n they ti)hts 0i the bi) patte(ned holes that )o up the inside and the ootside ay he( le)? Ah 0is thin1in aboot it 0hin 4uh =a 0o1e ays up 0i tea n toast? I Hu((y up And(e0- the boys3ll be (oond in a 4inute- she said- as she ey0is did? Ah lit the tea )o .auld- .ause ah 0is thin1in aboot i/ the holes in he( ti)hts 0ent (i)ht (oond then thi( 0ould be one 0he(e he( /anny 0is- n i/ she 0is 0ea(in nae pants a0 that ah3d need tae dae 0id be tae li/t that s1i(t up n po1e 4a .o.1 in- n /u.1 he( a.(oass the des1 in En)lish 0hile nae othe( .unt 0ould be able tae see o( hea(li1e one ay they /il4s o( d(ea4s 0hin they3d a0 2ist be loo1in at the boa(d- n the soa1 thit ah 1eep unde( 4a 4att(ess hus .o4e oot n it3s (oond 4a sti// .o.1 n Ca(oline3s )oat the eye 4a1eBup n lip )loss oan- n he( /a.e is set in that st(i.t- supe(io( 0ey- li1e 0hin 0e 0i( oan oo( bi1es doon Colinton Dell n 0e sa0 he( handBinBhand 0i that lu.1y bi) auld di(ty .unt that3s aboot thi(ty o( so4ethin- bit na0- she3s 0i 4e no0 n she 0ants it a0 (i)ht n ??? ? ? ? uu))hhh ? ? ? ? ? ? beuh ? ? ? beuh ? ? ? beuh ? ? ? ? ? ? the soa13s /illed up a)ain? It too1 ays a 4inute tae .o4e tae 4a senses? =uh ne0 ea((in) 0is still in /ae the ni)ht be/o(e? Ah hud it oan a)ain up the .lub at the table tennis? Last F(iday but- ah 4inded tae ta1e it oot .ause =iss D(e0 sends ye tae that .unt 6la.1ie i/ yu+ )oat one oan at the s.hool? Ah du) oot 4a .hinos ;the .unt banned Le+i3s n a0<- the dessy boots- the blue F(ed Pe((y n the yellay n bla.1 Eippe( baseball toap?
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Gulpin ba.1 the tea ah (an th(ou)h /i( a 5ui.1 0ash ay 4a /a.e? Ah .ould hea( the .unts doonstai(s at the doo(@ 6illy n Ca(l? =uh =a3s 4oanin a)ain- so ah hud a 5ui.1 splash@ /a.e- ai(4pits- ba0s n e(se n ah pilled oan the .lathes- still 4un.hin at the toast? I C34oan laddieG she shouted? Ah .he.1ed 4a d(a0e( by the bed@ 4a1in su(e the 1ni/e 0is still thai(e? Ah 4ind ay pi.1in it up n stabbin that .unt /ae The Ja4 n the poste( oan the 0a0? Ah (e)(etted it a 0ee bit- .ause it3s a )ood poste( n that boy3s a0(i)ht? The .unts in The Ja4 0ea( ba((y .lathes? En)lish poo/s but? Ah .annae stoap ta1in the blade oot tae loo1 at it? That F(iday ah 0is te4pted tae ta1e it tae s.hool- but ah

didnae 0ant any 4ai( bothe(? Ah sti.1 it in the d(a0e(? =a shouted ays a)ain? 7unnin) doon the stai(s n ah nea(ly t(ipped o0e( the du)- eh 0is 2ist lyin thai(e in 4a 0ey- no 4o+in? I Oot 4a /u.1in (oad- C(opleyG ah (oa(ed at u4- n eh sp(un) up n 0e 0i( oot the doo( n headin doon the (oad? 6illy 0is nashin li1e /u.1 that 4o(nin n eh 0isnae happy at a0- but eh didnae say no0t at /i(st? ,e .(oased o0e( the dual .a((ia)e0ay? I Cin you no )it ah /u.1in bend oan- Ca(l 0ent tae ays- bit that .unt3s no (eally bothe(ed aboot bein late- eh 0is 2ist t(yin tae 0ind up 6i((ell? I :ee i/ 6la.1ie3s oan late duty ? ? ? 6illy 0ent- bitin ehs botto4 lip? I 6la.1ie3s ni+i( oan /u.1in late duty oan a F(idayG Eh 0is oan yiste(day 0hin eh nabbed Da+ie Leslie- ah telt thu4? It 0is a dull 4o(nin e+en thou)h it 0is su44e(- n it loo1ed li1e it 0is )aunny pish doon late(? :till- it 0is as .lose as /u.1 n ah 0is s0eatin li1e a pi) 2ist .ause ay the (ate 0i 0i( 0al1in at? ,e hea(d a ho(n /ae this lo((y 2ist as 0e .(oassed the slip(oad? ,e loo1ed up n it 0is the 2ui.e lo((y and thai(e 0is Te((y in the passen)e( seat- that 4op ay .u(ly hai( sti.1in oot the 0indae? I Hu((y alon) no0 boysyou3ll be late /o( s.hoolG eh )oes n a hi)h- pitBoan posh +oi.e? ,e )ied u4 the +3s ba.1? I Jist you be thai(e the 4o(n /i( the )a4eG 6illy shouted? Te((y 4ade a 0an1e( si)n oot the 0indae? Thin1in aboot the 4o(n 4ade us /eel )ood- so 0i hud a bit ay lau)h on the (est ay the 0ey tae s.hool? :eti(day the 4o(nG Fu.1in ba((yG 6ut 6la.1ie %is oan the /u.1in late duty 0hin 0e )ot tae the s.hool? ,e pee1ed (oond tae .he.1 /ae behind the hed)es that )(e0 up alon)side the s.hool /en.e? The .unt 0is thai( a0(i)htF standin a(oond oan the steps 0i ehs hands behind ehs ba.1? 6illy .ouldnae (esist it- eh pushed Ca(l oot intae ehs +ie0? Ca(l 2u4ped ba.1 but the .unt .lo.1ed us and shoutedF I Dou boysG I see youG Co4e he(eG Ca(l E0a(tG Co4e he(eG
70

Ca(l loo1ed ba.1 at us and 0al1ed oot a0 that /ea(t n slee1it 0ey- li1e the du) 0hin it3s )oat oot n steyed oot /i( a)es .hasin a0 they bit.hes in heat? Ah 1en ho0 the pe(( .unt /eels- but ah hope he hus 4ai( lu.1 thin 4eG I The(e3s othe(sG I 1no0 the(e3s 4o(eG Go4e he(e o( you3ll be in se(ious t(oubleG 6illy and 4e nodded tae ea.h othe( and sh(u))ed? Thi( 0is no0t that 0e .ould dae e9.ept tae 2ist 0al1 (i)ht th(ou)h they s.hool )ates n a.(oass that ta(4a. play)(ound at the /(ont doo(s 0hai(e that .unt 0is standin loo1in li1e /u.1in Hitle(? 6asta(d and a hal/ that eh is- ehs 0ee 4ousta.he n spe.s? Than1 /u.1 ah 4inded tae ta1e oa/ that ea((in)? I I 0ill not tole(ate lateness- 6la.1ie 0ent- then eh loo1ed at Ca(l? I =( E0a(t? I 4i)ht ha+e )uessed? Eh loo1s at 4e /o( a bit- as i/ eh3s t(yin tae pla.e ays? Then eh )oes tae 6illy- I It3s 6i((ell- isn3t itH I Aye- 6illy said? I AyeH AyeH he so(tay sh(ie1s- pointin) tae his spe.s? It sounded li1e so4e .unt hud )(abbed ehs ba0s? I Eyes a(e 0hat you ha+e in you( head you stupid boyG ,e spea1 the Kueen3s En)lish he(e? ,hat do 0e spea1H I The Kueen3s En)lish- 6illy said? I Do 0e indeedH I Des? I Des 0hatH I Des- si(? I That3s bette(? 7i)ht- inside- the lot o/ you- 6la.1ie 0ent- and 0e /ollayed intae the s.hool hall and .o((ido(? ,hin 0i )its ootside the .unt3s o//i.e eh stoaps us by )(abbin 4a shoodi( ha(d? Eh loo1s at 6illy n )oes- I 6i((ell? 6i((ell- 6i((ell- 6i((ell- 6i((ell- 6i((ell? The spo(ts4an- isn3t itH I A ??? yes- si(? I The /ootball? The bo9in)- yes? Football and bo9in)- isn3t it- =( 6i((ellH Eh3s still )(ippin 4a shoodi( ha(ddi))in intae it 0i ehs /in)e(s? I Des- si(? 6la.1ie .onside(ed 6i((ell 0i a )enuine sadness in ehs eyes? Eh lits )o ay 4a shoodi(? I :o disappointin)? Dou o/ all people should be sho0in) leade(ship- 6i((ell- 6la.1ie says- )lan.in at 4e n Ca(l li1e 0i 0i( (ubbish? Eh loo1ed ba.1 tae 6illy 0ho 0is 2ust sta(in ahead? I Leade(ship? :po(t- 6i((ell@ spo(t and ti4e a(e indi+isible .on.epts? A /ootball 4at.h lasts /o( ho0 lon)H
71

I Ninety 4inutes ? ? ? si(- 6illy )oes? I A bo9in) (ound is ho0 lon)H I Th(ee 4inutes- si(? I Des- and s.hool also /un.tions on the .on.ept o/ ti4e? ,hen does (e)ist(ation .o44en.eH I Ei)htB/i/ty- si(?

I Ei)htB/i/ty- =( 6i((ell- eh says- then eh tu(ns tae Ca(l? I Ei)htB/i/ty- =( E0a(t? Then eh loo1s at 4e? I ,hat is you( na4eboyH I And(e0 Gallo0ay- si(- ah )oes? The d(essinBdoon the .unt 0is )iein us 0is /u.1in 4o(ti/yin- .ause thi( 0is )ad)es )aun past /ae the othe( .lasses- n lassies n a0- n they 0i( a0 lau)hin at us? I :pell 3si(3 0ill you- =( Gallo0ayH eh as1s? I Eh ??? ah )oes? I ,(on)G The(e is no 3a3? :pell 3si(3? I :BIB7? I Co((e.t? :BIB7? Not :BAB7- eh sais? I And(e0 Gallo0ay ??? he loo1s at his 0at.h? I ,ell- =( Gallo0ay(e)ist(ation- as you( asso.iates tell 4e- .o44en.es at ei)htB/i/ty? Not ei)htB/i/tyBone? Eh sti.1s ehs 0at.h in 4a /a.e n taps it? I Ce(tainly not nineBoBsi9? Fo( a 0hile ah thou)ht that the .unt 0is )aunny 2ist lit us )o 0ithoot )iein us the 0eb- .ause eh3d been st(uttin a(oond li1e eh3d 4ade a bi) point? One ay us should hu+ sais 3so((y si(3 o( so4e shite li1e that- .ause it 0is li1e eh 0is 0aitin oan us tae say so4ethin? 6it na0- 0e 0i( sa+in no0t li1e that- no /i( that 0an1e(? :o eh 4a(.hed us intae ehs o//i.e? Thai(e3s the 0eb sittin oan the des1- it3s the /i(st thin) ah see? Ah )oat a sin1in /eelin in 4a )uts? 6la.1ie slapped ehs hands the)ithe( n (ubbed thu4? Thi( 0is bi) .hal1 4a(1s oan ehs blue suit 2ay1it? ,e3(e standin in line? Ah3+e )oat 4a hands oan the (adiato( behind 4a ba.1- 0a(4in thu4 up /i( 0hat3s tae .o4e? 6la.1ie )ies the 0eb sai(? Eh3s (ated one ay the top th(ee behind 6(u.e /ae Te.1y n 4ibbe =aste(ton- the :.ien.e .unt- thou)h Ca(l (e.1ons eh3s hud it sai(e( o//ay 6la.1ie thin eh did o//ay =aste(ton? I Ou( so.iety is /ounded on (esponsibilities? One o/ the .o(ne(stones o/ (esponsibility is pun.tuality? The late ne+e( a.hie+e anythin)- eh sais- loo1in at 6illy- I in spo(t- 6i((ell- o( in anythin) else? A s.hool 0hi.h tole(ates lateness is by de/inition a /ailed s.hool? It is a /ailed s.hool be.ause it has /ailed to p(epa(e its pupils /o( a li/e o/ 0o(1? Ca(l 0is )aunny say so4ethin)? Eh ey0is spea1s up /i( ehsel- that .unt@ yu+ )oat tae )ie it tae u4? De .ould see u4- so(tay hestitatin7(

)ittin (eady? Then 6la.1ie loo1ed at hi4- 0i ehs ne.1 2uttin /o(0a(d and ehs eyes bul)in) oot? I Do you ha+e so4ethin) to say- E0a(tH :pea1 up then- boyG I Please si(- Ca(l )oes- I it3s 2ist thit thi( isnae (eally any 2obs no0? Li1e 0he(e 4uh Dad 0o(1s- at Fe((anti3s- they 2ist peyed oa/ a loat ay 4en? 6la.1ie loo1ed at Ca(l in shee( dis)ust? The /u.1in .oupon oan the spe.1y .unt@ ye 1in see thit eh thin1s the li1es ay us a(e no0t? That )oat 4e )aun? I Anited ,i(e hu+ peyed oa/ people n a0- si(? And 6u(ton3s 6is.uits oan the estate? I KuietG 6la.1ie snapped? I Dou3ll spea1 0hen you3(e spo1en to- Gallo0ayG Insolent youn) 4an- eh saisloo1in us up n doon li1e 0e 0i( sod2i(s oan (epo(t? I The(e3s plenty o/ 0o(1 /o( those that a(e p(epa(ed to 0o(1? Al0ays has been- al0ays 0ill be? The laEy and the 0o(1Bshy on the othe( hand- they 0ill al0ays /ind an e9.use /o( thei( indolen.e and sloth? Funny- but hi4 sayin indolen.e and sloth 4ade ays thin1 ay Te((y- n he3s 2ist aboot the only one ah 1en 0hae is 0o(1in- e+en i/ it3s 2ist oan the 2ui.e lo((ies? Ah 0is t(yin no tae loo1 at 6illy n Ca(l- as thou)h ah .ould tell that Ca(l 0is sta(tin tae sni))e(? De 2ist 1en? Ah .ould /eel 4asel )aun as 0ell? Ah 1ept 4a heid doon? I ,hat 0ould ha+e happened- 6la.1ie as1ed us- no0 pa.in up n doon- n loo1in idly oot the 0indae- then pi.1in up the 0eb oa/ ehs des1 n s0in)in it aboot- I i/ Jesus had been late /o( the last suppe(H I Eh 0ould3+e )oat /u.1 all tae eat- Ca(l spat oot the side ay ehs 4ooth? 6la.1ie )oes spa(e? I ,HAABAATGG ,ho ? ? ? 0ho said thaatt ? ? ? you ? ? ? you ? ? ? you ? ? ? little ani4alsG Ehs eyes 2ist bul)ed oot li1e the .unts in .a(toons 0hin they see a )host- li1e in that Cas!er. Eh sta(ts .hasin us (oond the table s0in)in the /u.1in lash? It 0is li1e the /u.1in bit at the end ay 6enny Hill- n 0i 0i( a0 lau)hin li1e /u.1- shitein it in a 0ey but lau)hin- bit then eh )its Ca(l n sta(ts th(ashin at u4- and Ca(l3s p(ote.tin ehs /a.e- but 6la.1ie3s )aun 4ad? 6illy 2u4ped (oond n )(abbed 6la.1ie3s 0(ist? I Let 4e )o- 6i((ellG Ta1e you( hands o// 4e- you /ool o/ a boyG I Di( no supposed tae hit u4 li1e that- 6illy said- standin ehs )(oond? 6la.1ie sta(es at 6illy- then lo0e(s ehs ai(4s n 6illy lets )o? I Put you( hands out- 6i((ell? 6illy loo1s at hi4 /o( a bit? 6la.1ie )oes- I No0G 6illy puts ehs
73

hands oot? 6la.1ie )ies hi4 th(ee- but no too ha(d? 6illy disnae e+en /lin.h? Then eh does the sa4e tae 4ebut no Ca(l- 0ho3s (ubbin ehs le) th(ou)h ehs i.eBblue Ja4 Ta(t :taBp(est 0hai(e 6la.1ie3s 0eb .au)ht u4? I ,ell done- lads? Dou3+e ta1en you( punish4ent li1e 4en- eh 0ent- a0 ne(+ous? The .unt 1ent eh 0is oot ay o(de(? Eh nodded tae the doo(? As 0e 0ent oot- 0e hea(d hi4 say- BI Li1e Jesus 0ould ha+e done?

And 0e )oat the /u.1 oot ay thai(e n up tae the (e))ie .less be/o(e 0i a0 .(a.1ed up a)ain? Ap thai(e the /i(st thin) ah sa0 0is Ca(oline A(5uha(t )aun oot the doo(? :he3s no )oat the b(oon s1i(t oan- it3s a lon)- ti)ht bla.1 yin? Ah 0at.hed he( )o doon the .o((ido( 0i A4y Conno(? I 7ides- 6i((ell 0ent? =iss D(e0 loo1ed at us and ti.1ed ou( na4es o// in the (e)iste(? Ah )ied he( the thu4bs up and 0i headed oa/ tae oo( .lesses?

The &2ortin9 Life
The /i(st load ay the4 .a4e oot ay ,a+e(ley? ,e 0i( sittin in the ,i4py opposite- nae .olou(s- 3.ept /o( 6illy- 0hae3d ta1en the s1e(/ oot ay ehs poa1it n 4ade a bi) sho0 ay pittin it oan? Ca(l 0is a Ja4bo- he 0isnae bothe(ed- but 4e n Te((y ne+e( hud oo( s1e(/s oan? I Ta1e the s1e(/ oa/- 6illy- these .unts3ll be o0e( he(e- ah telt u4? I Fu.1 o// ya shitein 0an1? Ah34 no /ea(t ay they Gles)ay 0an1e(s? 6i((ell3s /u.1in thin)s up /o( e+e(y .unt? This 0isnae 0hit 0i a)(eed? Ah loo1s o0e( at Te((y? I That 0isnae 0hit 0i said- 6illy- Te((y tells u4? I These .unts3+e )oat the nu4be(s? Thi( a0 .(appin basta(ds 0hin ye )it thu4 oan thi( ain- one a)ainst one? 6it they3ll ni+i( )o /i( that? I This is the 0ey tae dae it- Ca(l said- I li1e they ,est Ha4 boys 4a .ousin Da+ie n ehs 4ates 4et e/ti( ,e4bley? They telt us 0hen they 0ent up tae pla.es li1e Ne0.astle o( =an.heste(- they ne+e( 0o(e thi( .olou(s? That3s 0hat 0e ha+e tae daeF 4e()e 0i the Huns .(o0d- /ind so4e .unts 0ho3+e )oat the 4ooth and batte( the .unts? I Only a .o0a(d doesnae 0ea( thi( .olou(s- 6i((ell )oes- I ye 0ea( the4 0i p(ide- e+en a)ainst a0 the odds? Te((y3s sha1in ehs heid- as eh .li.1s ehs li)hte( oan n oa/? De 1in
7/

s4ell be++y oan ehs b(eath? Eh said eh (ode that =a))ie lassie- n that shut Ca(l up /i( a bit- .ause he 0is t(yin tae )it intae he(? I Listen 6illy- 0hae 4ade that /u.1in (ule upH Gles)ay .unts- 0i a0 thi( I(ish shite- the /u.1in o(an)e n the )(een? That suits thai4- .ause they3+e )oat the nu4be(s? It3s easy tae be 0ide 0hin yu+ )oat /i/teen thousand s1e(/ed 0an1e(s behind ye? Gua(anteed? 6it ho0 4any ay these .unts 0ould 0ant tae 1en us 0i e+en nu4be(sH Ans0e( ays that i/ ye 1in? This is Te((y tal1in sense /i( on.e in ehs pu//? Ah 1in tell 6illy3s listenin? Eh st(o1es ehs .hin? I A0(i)ht Te((y- but it3s no 2ist an I(ish thin)- it3s a :.ottish thin)- .o4es /ae Culloden 0hin the En)lish 0idnae lit us 0ea( .lan .olou(s? That3s 0hat you( auld 4an 0is sayin Ca(l- 4ind? Ca(l3s noddin- (ubbin the lo)o oan this plasti. ba) eh3s hudin? Ehs auld boy3s ey0is tellin us aboot histo(y n thin)s- 0hin 0i( up at the hoose? 6it it3s no li1e the histo(y ye )it tau)ht at the s.hool- a0 En)lish 1in)s n 5ueens n a0 that shite thit nae .unt3s bothe(ed aboot? I Aye- bit 0hae 1eeps it )aunH ah sais? I Te((y3s (i)ht- 6illy? It3s playin intae thai( hands? They O(an)e n Celti. .unts a(e ey d(essed li1e (ad)es 0i a0 thi( .olou(s n bad)es n /la)s? Li1e 0ee /u.1in lassies oan pa(ade at the Leith Pa)eant? They s0a(4 a0 o0e( ye .ause they 1en e+e(y .unt3s )aunny 2u4p in /i( the4? :ee 0hae 0ants tae 1en 0hen 0e )o as a tea4 and 0e3ll hu+ it 0i the sa4e nu4be(s ay a s5uad ay the4? Jist boys a)ainst boys- nae hidin in the .(o0d? N the beauty ay it is- the (est ay the4 0illnae 1en 0i( HibsG 6illy loo1ed at ays n lau)hed? I ,e 1in spot a Gles)ay 0an1e( a 4ile a0ay 0ithoot .olou(s? They3ll be able tae spot us 2ist the sa4e? I Ah dinnae see ho0 ye 1in .he.1 yi( heid /i( li.e at distan.e- Te((y lau)hed- n 0i( a0 2oinin in- then eh )oes- I =ind youse- ah34 su(e that bi(d in the /il4 last ni)ht hud li.e in he( pubes? I Git a0ay- ah )oes? I Ah34 tellin ye- Gaily- ye 0ant tae hu+ seen this boot? Fu.1in hell? N the siEe ay the 0elt oan the boy thit 0is )iein he( the 4essa)e Te((y ey0is 0ent tae the Classi. up in Ni.olson :t(eet oan a Thu(sday ni)ht- tae 0at.h the di(ty /il4s? Ah t(ied tae )it in on.e- but ah )oat 1no.1ed ba.1 /i( loo1in too youn)? I ,hit 0is oanH ah as1ed? I The /i(st yin 0is .alled $ard tuff, the se.ond yin 0is L .eel It /ising. 6it 0e steyed oan /i( the late sho0oldier Blue. Fu.1in ba((y /il4? I Ah3+e hea(d thit oldier Blue 0is pish- 6illy sais? I Na0 6i((ell- ye )oat tae see it 4an? The bit 0hai(e they .hop
7)

the bi(d3s heid oa/ n it /lies intae the s.(een- ah thoat it 0is )aunny land in 4a /u.1in lap? I That 0id hu+ 1no.1ed ye oot ay yi( st(o1e 0hin ye 0i( 0an1in oan yi( ain in the ba.1 (o0- Ca(l sais- n 0i a0 lau)h? Te((y shuts u4 (i)ht up thou)h by sin)in a bit ay that 7od :te0a(t son)? I 0h "aggie I couldn*t ha(e tried anymo,ho,hore . . . Then eh points at Ca(l- I he made a first,class fool outah you . . . ,i( lau)hin at Ca(l no0- 0hae3s loo1in oot the 0indae at so4e passin Huns? I Kuite a /e0 :oldie( 6lues

oot thai(- eh )oes- t(yin tae .han)e the sub2e.t? Te((y i)no(es Ca(l n sta(ts lau)hin o0e( at 4e- I Ah ey0is hu+ tae tell this 0ee .unt aboot the /il4s in the Classi.? Ah3ll be daein it /i( a 0hile n a0 .ause it3ll be a)es be/o(e eh loo1s auld enou)h tae )it in? 6illy3s lau)hin at ays- n Ca(l is n a0- thou)h ah noti.e he3s ne+e( t(ied tae )it intae the Classi.? I :t(oll on- =( La0son- ah sais tae Te((y- I ah 1in )it intae the 7itE? I 6i) deal- =( Gallo0ay? Di3ll be /u.1in sha+i(i ne9t? Then 0hatH :pun1H I Plenty spun1 he(e- =( La0son? I Jist loo1in /i( so4e0hai(e tae pit it a0- eh )oes- n e+e(y .unt lau)hs? Chee1y .unt? It 0is ey0is the patte( tae spea1 tae ea.h othe( li1e the tea.he(s spo1e tae ye? That3s 4inded ays aboot the 7itE thou)h- a )ood ti4e tae .han)e the sub2e.t? I Naebody /an.y )aun tae the 7itE this 0ee1H It3s )oat that 1ombies oan? A doubleBbill 0i The Great British tri!tease. # Git tae F(an.e- Te((y lau)hs- )lan.in oot tae0a(ds the 0indae- 0hat dae 0i need that /i(H ,e3+e )oat a0 the Eo4bies in the 0o(ld tae pa))e( oot thai(e- eh points ootside tae so4e passin Huns? I Then the ni)ht 0i )it intae the /anny up at Clouds n it3ll be the G(eat 6(itish :t(iptease (i)ht enou)h? Fu.1 the pi.tu(es- lit3s hu+ it a0 /i( (ealG That )oat 4e thin1in- then a .hant o/ 3No :u((ende(3 0ent up /(o4 the st(eet ootside and 4y )uts tu(ned? Ah didnae 1en 0hethe( ah 0is intae a0 thisG I ,hat aboot DoEo n that- 0hai(e a(e they .untsH Loo1 o0e( thai(eG A tall )uy 0i lon) hai( and a sta( 8Bne.1 2e(sey 0as d(aped in an Alste( /la)? The .unt loo1ed an.ient? I Ah34 no pa))e(in 0i a .unt that3s /u.1in /o(ty- ah sais? Ah 0is still /u.1in /i/teen yea(s auld? I Pa))e( any (ad)e that 4esses- 0ee 4an- 6illy )oes?
7#

I Ho0 did youse )it oan this 4o(nin- ah as1ed u4- t(yin tae .han)e the sub2e.t a)ain? Ah hate bein .alled 0ee 4an? I Fou(Bone- eh said? I ,hae /i(H ah as1ed? I ,hae dae ye thin1H It 0is FetBLo( 0e 0i( playin? Thai( pish? Ah s.o(ed yin? Alan =a.1ie )oat t0o- eh sais- lo0e(in ehs +oi.e? 6illy hud .o4e /ae the :eti(day /itba? Eh played /i( Hut.hie 8ale n eh 0is the .aptain ay oo( s.hool tea4? Ah thin1 eh 0is a 0ee bit 2ealous ay the li1es ay Alan =a.1ie thou)h- .ause eh3d si)ned :B/o(4s 0i Hibs yon1s a)o- but naebody hud o//e(ed 6illy any .ont(a.t? I Doo)ie ,ilson ta1e yi( )ea( ha4eH I Na0- ah )ied it tae 4a 0ee b(a( n 2ist .a4e st(ai)ht he(e- didnae 0ant tae 4iss anythin)- eh sais- noddin tae 4e tae loo1 at the ne9t table- then o0e( tae Te((y n Ca(l 0hae3(e sta(in a.(oass? It 0is these t0o lassies sittin at a table a.(oass /ae us? One ay thu43s a0(i)ht- bi) teeth n lon) b(o0n hai(? Kuite a tall lassie? :he3s )oat a (id hooded ,(an)le( toap oan? The othe( yin3s 0eeBe( bit 0i sho(t bla.1 hai(? :he3s 0ea(in an i4itation leathe( 2ay1it n she3s s4o1in a /a)? Te((y3s loo1in o0e( at the4? They3(e loo1in ba.1lau)hin tae ea.h othe(? I Hi- 4a 4ate /an.ies you- eh shouts o0e( tae one- pointin at Ca(l? Ca(l 0is .ool thou)h- eh didnae )it a bea4e(? Ah 0ould3+e? I Ah34 /ed up- no ha(d up- she sais ba.1? Te((y pit ehs hand th(ou)h ehs .o(1s.(e0 hai(? It3s (eally ti)ht n .u(ly- e+en 4ai( thin usual- so ah34 su(e that .unt3s hud it pe(4ed oan the sly? Eh loo1s a0(i)ht but- in that da(1Bblue Adidas top n they b(oon ,(an)le(s? Ah /eel a di) in 4a (ibs? I Dinnae you be shitein oot- Gaily- 6i((ell sais tae ays- ehs +oi.e a0 lo0? Chee1y .unt hi4 but? I :t(oll on- 6i((ell? It3s you thit3s /u.1in 0ell shitein oot ? ? ? I Ho0 a4 ah ??? ??? I shitein oot ay the plan 0i a)(eed? ,i( )aunny /u.1in )it a .ouple ay 0ide .unts n ha+e the4? ,i 0i( e+en )aunny )it a Huns s1e(/ n 0ea( it /i( dis)uise- 4ind- ah sais? I That 0is the plan 0i a)(eed? 6illy shoo1 ehs heid? I Ah34 no 0ea(in any Huns s1e(/? I Fu.1 that- Te((y said? Ca(l3s sittin thai(e- 0aitin tae 2u4p in? I Ah34 no bothe(ed aboot 0ea(in one? Ah dinnae 0ant tae 0ea( a Huns s1e(/- bit ah b(oat this- /i(
77

.a4ou/la)e li1es- eh sais- pillin a 7id Hand ay Alste( /la) ootay ehs plasti. ba)? Te((y loo1s at ays- then at 6illy- 0ho3s (i)ht up n eh3s to(n the /la) /ae Ca(l3s hands and pulled oot his li)hte(? Thi( 0is t0o blan1 .li.1s be/o(e Ca(l 4ana)ed tae )it it ba.1 e/ti( a st(u))le 0hi.h 0is )ittin a 0ee bit nasty? I Cunt you- eh 6illy- Ca(l )oes- ehs /a.e as (id as the /u.1in hand oan the /la)? I Dinnae b(in) oot a Huns /la) in /(ont ay 4e- 6i((ell says- a0 nippy? Ca(l /olds the /la) up- 1eepin it oot ay 6i((ell3s (ea.h- but eh3s no pittin it a0ay? I It3s no a /u.1in 7an)e(s /la)- it3s a P(otestant /la)? Dou3(e no e+en a Catholi.- 6i((ell- 0hat you )ittin oan tae ays /i( a P(otestant /la)

/i(H I Cause yi( a .hee1y 4il1BboatilBheided He(ts 0an1e( and yi( )aunny )it yi( 4ooth bu(st- that3s 0hat /i(? It3s a 0ee bit .hilly he(e- 6illy3s )oat one ay they 4oods oan u4? Te((y tu(ned a0ay /ae the bi(ds and loo1ed o0e( at hi4? I Cool it- 6i((ell- ya .unt- thi(3s a0 the Huns in the 0o(ld tae pa))e( 0i- dinnae sta(t /i)htin ea.h othe(? I Ja4 Ta(t toss shouldnae be he(e- 6illy )oes? I 6et ye Topsy n a0 yi( 4ates /ae the bus thit hu+nae )aun a0ay 0i He(ts3 be he(e 0i the Huns- eh snee(ed? I Ah34 he(e 0i youse- but- u4 ah no- Ca(l sais ba.1? As eh said that- ah .lo.1ed a tea4 ay Huns- 4ibbe aboot oo( a)e o( 0ee bit aulde(- .o4e intae the ,i4py? ,e 0ent 5uiet? Then they seen us- and they 0ent 5uiet n a0? Ah .ould tell they 0i( loo1in at Ca(l3s 7id Hand ay Alste( /la) and 6i((ell3s s1e(/ and t(yin tae 0o(1 it a0 oot? 6i((ell 0is sta(in ba.1 at thu4? Te((y 0isnae bothe(ed- he 0is still loo1in at they lassies? I Dou )oat a /ellyH he shouted o0e(? The bi(d 0i the lon) b(oon hai( n the teeth loo1s u4 o0e(? I =i)ht hu+? ,hat3s it tae dae 0i youH Ah34 t(yin tae )it a 0ee s1et.h at he( tits bit ye .annae 4a1e thu4 oot unde( that toap? I Na0- .ause ah34 su(e ah sa0 you 0i a /elly at Annabel3s one ti4e? I Ah dinnae )o tae the Annabel3s- she sais- but she3s loo1in a0 that .hu//ed n sha)Bhappy 0ey ba.1 at u4- n that .unt3s in thai(e? I ,ell it 0is so4ebody thit loo1ed li1e you ? ? ? Te((y3s up and s5ueeEin in beside he( in thai( booth? That .unt isnae shy? A .ouple ay the Huns sta(t sin)in) The ash. These .unts3ll be as
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nippy as /u.1- .ause it 0is oan the telly the othe( day thai( that the Pope3s .o4in tae :.otland? No that ah )ie a /u.1 aboot that? Ah do )ie a /u.1 aboot they 0an1e(s )ittin a0 0ide th(ou)h he(e but? 6i((ell3s happy thou)h.ause thi( no loo1in at hi4? I These .unts ??? 0i dae these .unts- eh sais tae ays? Thi( 0is a )uy 0i a 4ohi.an n a (ash ay spots doon the side ay ehs /a.e- n a /at .unt 0i blonde .u(ls? Ah /elt the .hib in 4a poa1it? Ah .ut a .unt at the s.hool one ti4e- e+en i/ it 0isnae (eally 4u.h ay a .ut? Glen Hende(son? It 0is oot ay o(de(- the boy 0isnae bein that 0ide? Ah 4ind ay the .unt t0istin 4a ai(4 ba.1 in the /i(st yea( 0hin eh 0is 0i they .unts eh3d been at P(i4a(y 0i- so ah o0ed u4- but (eally it 0is 4e thit 0is 2ist sho0in oa/ this ti4e? Ah hudnae 4eant it tae happen li1e that? It 0is ehs hand- ah stu.1 it in ehs hand? Ah shat 4a pants /i( days n .ase it 0ent ba.1 tae the polis- the tea.he(s- o( ha4e tae 4uh =a? The boy Glen said no0t but? In a 0ay it 0is ba((y .ause e/ti( it- that 0is the /i(st ti4e DoEo Doyle o( =a(ty Gentle4an o( any ay that tea4 spo1e tae ays? 6it ah shat 4a pants still aboot 0hat ah3d done? He(e thou)h- it 0ould be di//e(ent? Nae .o4eba.1s- 2ist so4e Gles)ay .unt ye3d ni+i( see a)ain? Ah dinnae li1e the idea ay .ai((yin a blade- no (eally- but e+e(y .unt 1ens these slu44y 0an1e(s .ai((y 1ni+es? =ind you- hal/ these )lo(yhuntin .unts a(enae (eal Gles)ay- thi( /ae /u.1in Pe(th n Du4/(ies n pla.es li1e that- spea1in in a /a1e ,eed)ie a..ent? They 0ant tae be seen as Gles)ay- soas that e+e(y .unt3ll thin1 thi( ha(d? ,ant us a0 tae thin1 thit thi( a0 li1e that boy /ae the :pe.ial Anit o( so4ethin? =a /u.1in hole? Na0- ah dinnae li1e .ai((yin a 1ni/e- but it 4a1es ye /eel )ood tae hu+ that e9t(a ba.1Bup? Jist tae s.a(e .unts 0i li1e? I Dou ta1e yi( s1e(/ oa/ n ah34 )a4e- ah3ll /ollay ye e/ti( thu4- ah said tae 6i((ell? 6i((ell i)no(es 4e n ta1es a pape( plate n sets it oan /i(e 0i the li)hte(- hudin it a0 .a(e/ully- lettin it bu(n doon? Thi(3s a lassie in a ,i4py uni/o(4 tidyin up- and she3s seen u4- but she disnae see4 bothe(ed? 6illy3s )ittin as 0ide as /u.1? Eh3s (ated the thi(dBha(dest .unt in ou( s.hool- behind DoEo n Gent- i+i( sin.e eh batte(ed Topsy in the se.ond yea(? 6ut ah (e.1on eh .ould ta1e DoEo in a s5ua(eB)o- 0i 6illy bein intae the bo9in n that- but ye ni+i( )it a s5ua(eB)o 0i the li1es ay Doyle? Ca(l hated it 0hen 6i((ell n Topsy hud that bi) pa))e( in the pa(1- .ause eh3s )ood 4ates 0i baith ay thu4? I 6illy- 4oan tae /u.1- yi3ll )it us /lun) oot- Ca(l 4oans- then tu(ns tae 4e- I :ee this .unt /i( /i(e ? ? ?
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6illy lits it bu(n doon- tu(nin it soas it disnae bu(n ehs hand- then d(oaps it intae the .up? I 6u(n- ya O(an)e basta(ds- eh sais so/tly? An auld 0i/ie 0i sil+e( hai(- n 0ea(in )lesses- a hat n a yellay .oat loo1s o0e(? :he3s 2ist sta(in? The pe(( 0o4an loo1s a bit dippit? It 4ust be shite tae be auld? Ah3ll ni+i( )it auld- no 4e? :t(oll on? Then DoEo Doyle n his .(e0 .a4e in@ =a(ty Gentle4an- Joe 6e)bie- Ally Ja4ieson n that 4ental loo1in .unt 0i the sli.1ed bla.1 hai( n the bushy eyeb(o0s? The .unt that )oat e9pelled /ae Au))ie3s then .a4e tae us? Eh 0is 2ist at oo( s.hool /o( a /e0 0ee1s be/o(e they e9pelled hi4 n a0? Eh 0is a yea( abo+e us? They pit u4 in Pol4ont /i( a bit? Ja4ieson n 6e)bie u( /ae Leith- but they 1en DoEo n Gent /ae the toon? They .a4e o0e( tae us? It 0is ba((y- .ause the Huns stoaped sin)in- a0 e9.ept one? They sta(ted tae stand a 0ee bit apa(t /ae ea.h othe(- n busy thi(sels 0i othe( thin)s- li1e o(de(in bu()e(s?

Noti.in the e//e.t that they 0i( hu+in- DoEo3s boys sta(ted )iein it the 0al1 bi)ti4e- e+e(y slo0 step (ubbin the 7an)e(s boys3 /a.es in the /a.t that thi( )aunny dae no0t? DoEo )oes- I 6illy- Gaily ? ? ? 0hat3s thisH Eh loo1ed at Ca(l3s 7ed Hand /la)? Ca(l shat it? Ah .ut in? I Eh ??? 0i too1 it oa/ this da/t Hun doon the station? Fi( dis)uise- li1e you says? Nae .olou(s? Ta1e it oa/ 6illy- ah nud)ed 6i((ell- and the .unt did- thou)h eh 0isnae .hu//ed? Ah ey0is ba.1 Ca(l up- .ause it 0is hi4 ah sta(ted )aun tae the /itba 0i yon1s a)o? Ehs auld boy used tae ta1e us tae Hibs one 0ee1 n He(ts the ne9t? That 0is 0hen ah pi.1ed Hibs n Ca(l pi.1ed He(ts? It 0is /unny .ause =( E0a(t .o4es /ae Ay(shi(e and eh suppo(ted Cil4a(no.1? Eh used tae e4ba((ass Ca(l n 4e by 0ea(in the Cillie s1e(/ 0hen they played at Easte( 7oad o( Tynie? =a Dad ni+i( bothe(ed 0i the /itba? Eh .lai4ed eh suppo(ted Hibs- but eh ni+i( 0ent? It 0is only .ause eh on.e 0on :pot the 6all in the +(ening 2e%s that 0ee1- 0hin it 0is a pi.tu(e /ae Easte( 7oad (athe( than Tynie eh pit the 0innin .(oss oan? Ah 4ind e+e(ybody sayin that 0e3d be buyin a bi) hoose- but 4uh =a )oat a ne0 0ashin 4a.hine n ah )oat C(opley the du)? =uh Dad used tae say- I At least ah )oat so4ethin ba.1 /ae the Hibees? Ah suppo(t the tea4 that suppo(ts 4e? 6ut he suppo(ted nae .unt? =( n =(s E0a(t ey0is loo1ed oot /i( ays 0hin 4uh Dad 0is a0ay? The 6i((ells did n a0- and 4uh An.le Donald- ta1in ays oan t(ips n that@ Cin)ho(n- Peebles- No(th 6e(0i.1- Allapool- 6la.1pool n a0 that
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stu//? 6ut the E0a(ts 4aist- n they ni+i( 4ade a bi) thin) aboot it- it ni+i( see4ed li1e they 0i( daein ye a /a+ou(? :o ay ey0is t(y tae loo1 oot /i( Ca(l tae 4a1e up /i( it? De hu+ tae loo1 oot /i( the .unt so4eti4es- be.ause eh )oes ehs ain 0ey n so4eti4es people )it the 0(on) idea? It3s no thit eh3s bein 0ide- it3s 2ist thit eh disnae t(y tae .(a0l up tae a0 the ha(d 4en? Eh ey0is hus tae be di//e(ent- that .unt? Any0ey- it see4ed a0(i)ht 0i DoEo- 0hi.h 0is a (elie/ tae 4eG P(obably tae Ca(l n a0- .ause that .unt (ules the s.he4e? I ,hai(e3s Jui.eH eh )oes? That 0is 0hat 0i .alled Te((y .ause eh 0is 0o(1in oan the 2ui.e lo((ies? Ah nodded tae the booth a.(oass /ae us? Te((y hud this lassie3s pal4 oot n eh 0is p(etendin tae (ead it? I Eh3s thai(e- ah )oes? I The /o(tune telle(? Ey0is thoat the .unt 0is a /u.1in )yppo (i)ht enou)hG DoEo lau)hed at this- 0hi.h 4ade ays /eel )ood- .ause alon) 0i Gentle4an- eh 0is the ha(dest .unt at s.hool- n ah hudnae (eally spo1en that 4u.h tae hi4? This 0is 4e )ittin (i)ht in 0i the 4ain 4en- 2ist as 4u.h as Te((y n 6illy 0i(- 4ibbe e+en 4ai(? DoEo )oes- I A0(i)ht- Te((yH Te((y3s been that intae the bi(ds eh3s no seen the4 .o4e in- o( made oot eh3s no seen the4 .o4e in? I DoEB ohG GentG AllyG Ho03s the boysG Gaunny batte( /u.1 oot ay so4e Huns the day- ehG eh says loudly- n the Huns that had been that noisy .o4in intae the pla.e sta(ted tae slin1 oot a0 5uiet? Te((y li1ed tae thin1 eh 0is /ou(thB ha(dest 0hin he 0is at s.hool? =a e(se? DoEo Doyle lau)hed ba.1 at Te((y- li1e they baith 1ent the s.o(e- then s4iled at the t0o bi(ds? I Di( )i(l/(iend- ayeH eh as1s Te((y? I ,o(1in oan it 4ate- 0o(1in oan it??? Te((y said- tu(nin) to the bi(d beside hi4? I De )aun oot 0i ays thenH I =ibbe- she sais? The lassie3s )oat a bit ay a bea4e(? :he3s tryin no tae 4a1e oot thit she hus- bit she hus? That .unt Te((y isnae slo0 .ause the ne9t thin) eh3s /u.1in 0ell sno))in 0i he(- n a .ouple ay the boys sta(t .hee(in? DoEo3s no loo1in that happy but? Eh3s )oat plans- n eh disnae 0ant any bi(ds )ittin in the (oad? I ,e3d bette( nash- eh says? ,i a0 stands up- and e+en that di(ty .unt Te((y b(ea1s oa/ ehs .lin.h? That .unt3s as 0ide as /u.1? Ah hea(d u4 say tae he(- I Ande( the .loa1 at F(ase(s- ei)ht? I Aye- in yi( d(ea4s- the lassie )oes ba.1? I =ibbe see ye in Clouds but- Te((y insists?
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I Aye- 4ibbe- she )oes- but the di(ty .unt3ll be (idin he( the ni)ht- no0t su(e(? :o4eti4es ah 0ish thit ah 0is li1e Te((y- ey0is 1ennin the (i)ht thin)s tae say- 1ennin ho0 tae a.t? Ah 0o((y so4eti4es thit 0i 4e loo1in that youn)- thit ah 2ist hud ba.1 the li1es ay hi4 n 6illy- n e+en Ca(l? It 2ist 4a1es ays 4ai( dete(4ined but- tae sho0 thai4- n the li1es ay DoEo n Gentle4an- that ah3ll no be hudin ba.1 0hin 0e 4eet so4e Gles)ay .unts? ,e piled oot the ,i4py- /eelin the st(en)th that bein pa(t ay a .(o0d )a+e ye? Thi(3s ey0is been .unts that /i)ht at the /itba 0hae .an dae it in a 4ob- but shite oot in a s5ua(eB)o? De .annae hu+ too 4any ay thai4? De /eel )ood bein 0i these .unts he(e thou)h- .ause it3s so4e ay the ha(dest .unts /ae the s.hool n s.he4e he(e? De 1en they3ll no shite oot- e+en a)ainst yi( 0idest /u.1e(s /ae the Go(bals o( 0he(e+e( these thie+in bladeB

4e(.hant s.(u//s .o4e /ae? E+en a)ainst 4en- .unts that a(e li1e t0entyBone n a0 that? Ah34 )led ah 1ept 4a ea((in) oot? I/ so4e .unt )(abs it- that3s you /u.1ed? ,i( oa/G =y he(ts )aun /u.1in boo4Bboo4Bboo4- bit ah34 t(yin no tae sho0 it? Ah sees Doyle slip so4ethin tae 6illy- n it loo1s li1e so4e notes? Eh says so4ethin aboot .oppe(s n ni.1edso 4ibbe it3s /i( /ines i/ 0i )it doneG That3ll be it- plannin ahead? 7eal )an)ste(s- us n the Doyles n thatG Ca(l3s a0 /unny aboot this thou)h- ye 1in tell eh 0ants tae 1en 0hat3s )aun oan? Eh 1ens bette( thin tae as1 in /(ont ay Doyle but? Doon 7ose :t(eet /i(st? ,i( 0al1in in 0ee )(oups ay th(ee n /ou(? Ah34 0i DoEo n Te((y n =a(tin Gentle4an? Ah .all u4 =a(ty .ause only ehs (eal 4ates .all u4 Gent? Ah )lan.es intae a pub n sees thit thu+ )oat Aste(oids? I :o ye )oat a 1?b? then- Te((y- ehH Ah 0ind the .unt up? I Li1e /u.1? :he 0is /u.1in 0antin pu4ped- he( 0i the teeth? :he3s )ittin the stin1yBpin1y i/ she3s up at Clouds the ni)ht- tell ye that /i( /u.1 all- eh )oes- n 0i a0 hu+ a lau)h? I That Ca(oline A(5uha(t3s a (ide? :he hud a .ouple ay buttons oan he( blouse undone and ye .ould see a bit ay the tit? In En)lish yeste(day- ah )oes? Ah loo1s intae the ne9t pub n it3s )oat :pa.e In+ade(s- 0hi.h is ba((y? Ah3d ne+e( )it se(+ed in thai( but? :o4e auld )uys n Hibs s1e(/s 0al1 oot the pub- sha1in thi( heids n dis)ust? A /e0 Huns at the ba( a(e
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sin)in) and one- a s1inny )uy 0i lon) hai(- aboot thi(ty- steps oot intae the st(eet and shouts- I Da di(ty auld Fenian basti(tsG e/ti( the auld boys- 0hae dinnae loo1 ba.1? Ah loo1 tae see i/ the boys u( bothe(in- but na0- 0e3(e e/ti( .unts oo( ain a)e? I Ca(oline A(5uha(t ? ? ? she3s a /u.1in stu.1Bup 0ee hin)Boot- Te((y sais tae ays? I Dou3d (ide he( i/ you )oat the .han.e- ah tells u4? I Na0 ah 0ouldnae- Te((y )oes- and eh sais li1e eh 4eans it? I Ah3d /u.1in (ide he( n a 4inute- =a(ty Gentle4an )oes? I 6it ah3d sha) that A4y Conno( /i(st? Gentle4an .ould p(obably ba) oa/ 0i A4y Conno(- .ause eh loo1s aulde( n eh3s a bi) ha(d .unt? No 0i Ca(oline A(5uha(t but- she3s 4ai( snobby- 0ell- ah 0idnae say snobby- but li1esay .lassie(? 6ut ah34 thin1in aboot this- aboot 0ho3s the bi))est sha) bet0een the t0o? DoEo3s a0 i((itated but? Eh3s noddin o0e( tae so4e ? ashBsin)in) .unts? ,e up ou( pa.e n /a0 in behind thu4? Thi(3s aboot /i+e boys- d(apped in Anion Ja.1s? One3s )oat A7D7O::AN LODAL in 0hite lette(s oan it? Eh3s 0ea(in nineBin.h Do.s? DoEo boots this one in the heel n one le) 0(aps (oond anothe( n eh .(ashes ontae the .obblestones? Gent boots the .unt on the de.1 n shouts in a Gles)ay a..ent- I 6(i1tin DenyG Naebody sta(ts The ash 3.ept usG It 0o(1s a t(eatG They ba.1 o//- n one nashes (i)ht o0e( the (oad? The (est a0 )o 5uiet? A0 the othe( )(oups ay Huns loo1 .on/used but dinnae 4a1e a 4o+e? I/ 0e3d hud the .olou(s oan- 0e3d be sto4ped? They3ll tea( anythin) apa(t in )(een- but they thin1 this is 2ist Hun + Hun- a .i+il 0a(? No0 the othe( .unts dinnae 0ant tae 1enG It3s 0o(1in- that plan 0i a)(eedG Isolate the .unts- e+en up the odds by 4a1in it pe(sonal- us a)ainst thai4instead ay /itba- Hibs a)ainst 7an)e(s? ,e )it a 0ee bit .ai((ied a0ay at the bus station? It3s li1e any .unt oo( a)e is )ittin it no0? Joe 6e)bie bloote(s a )uy 0hae 0isnae a Hun- o( e+en )aun tae the /itba- 2ist a pun1 )uy 0i a 4oha01? I :1inheids (ulehe )oes- as the )uy stands in sho.1- hudin ehs bu(st nose? Ah a)(ee 0i this thou)h- .ause ah dinnae li1e pun1s? Ah 4ean it 0is a0(i)ht /i( a lau)h ba.1 then- tae sho.1 e+e(y .unt n that- li1e in the Fi(st Dea(- bit it3s only (eally posh .unts 0hae 0ant tae d(ess li1e s.(u//s? That3s the )a4es they play? The pun1s hin) a(oond the Gai(dins in P(in.es :t(eet- /i)htin the 4ods on :eti(days? I/ thi(3s any ay thu4 a(oond e/ti( 0e3ll hu+ thai4 n a0? Ah shite 4asel thou)h- 4a he(t s1ips a beat? Ah see a )ad)e loo1in
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at us- n loo1in at the pun1s that 0e bloote(ed? Eh3s )oat this 0ee lassie 0i u4- 0ho3s 2ist sta(in? It3s 4uh An.le Alan 0i 4uh 0ee .ousin Lisa? Ah 4ind u4 sayin tae 4uh =a that eh 0is ta1in Lisa up toon tae )it a p(esent /i( he( bi(thday? Ah 4o+e a0ay- behind a bus? Ah dinnae thin1 eh sa0 4e but? I ,is that no you( un.le ba.1 thai(e- GailyH Te((y teases ays? I Go ba.1 n say hiyaG I Fu.1 o//- ah say ba.1 tae hi4? 6ut ah34 )led tae )it oot the bus station? It3s hea+in as 0e )et doon tae Leith :t(eet- 0i )(oups ay Huns e+e(y0he(e- .o4in oot /ae the ba.1 ay the station at Calton 7oad n 4e()in 0i the ea(lie( tea4s that ha+e been hittin the pubs in 7ose :t(eet? Thi(s a /e0 )(oups ay Hibs o+e( the othe( side ay the (oad tauntin the4? ,e3+e 4e()ed 0i the bul1 ay the 7an)e(s suppo(te(s but the(e3s too 4any polis tae t(y n sta(t anythin) n it3ll be the sa4e sto(y until 0i )it tae the )(oondso 0e 1eep oan doon tae Leith ,al1 as they .unts a0 tu(n oa/ London 7oad /o( the a0ay end? It3s still ea(ly doo(s- so it3s )aunny be a /ull house? ,e head doon the ,al1 tae Pil(i) and thi(3s so4e Hibs boys standin a(oond- laddies aboot ou( a)e? It3s

6e)bie3s b(a(- F(an1 ah thin1 eh3s .alled- and a .ouple ay his 4ates? One3s that boy To44y thit ah 1ent /ae the 66s yon1s a)o- he3s o1ay- and this boy 7enton- and this othe( s1inny- s.(u//y .unt ah dinnae 1en? Ca(l .lo.1s the 7enton boy3s Hibs s1e(/? I Ah thoat you 0i( a /u.1in He(ts suppo(te( 4ate? I A4 ah /u.1- the 7enton boy sais? I Di( b(othe(3s a He(ts /an but? Ah3+e seen u4 at Tynie? The boy 7enton 2ist nods? Joe 6e)bie )oes- I Jist .ause ehs .unt ay a b(othe(3s a /u.1in s.u4ba)- it doesnae 4a1e hi4 a Ja4 Ta(t- eh no- =a(1H 6oy3s entitled tae suppo(t the tea4 eh 0ants? The 7enton boy 2ist sh(u)s- but it shuts Ca(l up? Anyho0- that3s by the by .ause DoEo3s )iein the o(de(s? I Ta1e oa/ yi( /u.1in s1e(/s n pit thu4 up yi( 2u1e n .o4e 0i us? ,i( )aun tae the Huns end n 0i( )aunny sta(t a pa))e(? ,ill )it thu4 ootside e/ti( n a0- eh s4iles- then eh (ubs ehs /a.e 0i ehs /in)e( tae )ie hi4sel/ an i4a)ina(y s.a(? Eh does a 0ee dan.e? I Had 4an- had? They .unts a(e /u.1in 0ell had? 6e)bie3s b(a( n To44y dae it- then 7enton n the othe( )uy- =u(phy ah thin1 the boy3s na4e is? The boy3s al(eady )oat so4ethin) up ehs 2u1e? I ,hat3s this this .unt3s )oatH Ca(l as1s? Ca(l3s )ittin a bit 0ide
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.ause eh thin1s eh3s hin)in) aboot 0i DoEo n Gent- the s.he4e ha(dB4en? Thin1s that3s hi4 5uoted no0? Eh should /u.1in 0ell 4ind thit eh3s a He(ts suppo(te( n that .unt Topsy3s 4ate- n eh3s only he(e .ause 0e3(e +ou.hin /i( u4? That s.(u//y .unt pills so4ethin) doon /ae his 2u4pe(@ a pa.1et ay /(oEen peas n a pa.1et ay /ish /in)e(s? I Eh- ah .ho(ied thai4 /ae this shoap li1esay ? ? ? I Flin) thu4 a0ay :pud- /i( /u.1 sa1es 4an- To44y sais tae hi4? F(an1 6e)bie )(abs the /(oEen peas /ae his hand- tosses the pa.1et intae the ai( and boots it oan the +olley- splittin) it open? E+e(y .unt lau)hs as the peas s.atte( doon the (oad? I Poo(ootG F(an.o shouts? This :pud boy 2u4ps ba.1 n sais- I Ah34 1eepin the /ish /in)e(s li1es? F(an1 6e)bie loo1s at the boy :pud- li1e the .unt3s ehs 4ate n eh3s e4ba((assed u4? I Fu.1in s.(u//? That3s the only /u.1in tea these .unts )it? That3s one /u.1in /ish /in)e( /i( ea.h ay the /u.1in )yppo .unts- eh )oesthen eh lau)hs at To44y and 7enton- I That3s the /u.1in =u(phys /i( yeG Joe 6e)bie3s a0(i)ht- but ehs 0ee b(a( thai( /an.ies ehsel/ a bit ay a 0ide .unt sin.e eh )a+e one ay the :uthe(lands a doin? E+e(ybody hea(d aboot it? ,hat ye 4i)ht .all a sho.1 (esult? I Lea+e u4 alaine- Joe sais- I at least the boy3s sho0ed up? No li1e a loat ay they .unts thit 0i( sayin they 0i( )aunny be he(e n then dinnae tu(n up? Nelly n La((y n that .(e0? ,hai(e the /u.1 a(e they .untsH Then eh loo1s at ehs b(a(- I ,hai(e3s the Leith )aun be/o(e the )a4eH I Peasbo 0is sayin that they 0i( )aun tae =iddleton3s- F(an1 6e)bie )oes? The Leith boys- the (eal Leith- 0ouldnae be han)in) aboot 0i da/t 0ee laddies? They3d hu+ thi( ain day planned n they 0ouldnae be tellin the li1es ay us aboot it? ,i( a0 2ist sho0in oa/ he(e- na4eBd(oppin n that? I Dinnae need any .unt thit disnae 0ant tae be he(e- DoEo sais? I E+e(y .unt he(e3s )a4e- eh )oes- loo1in (oond us a0 li1e a .hallen)e? I Dinnae 0ant too 4any eithe(- the polis3ll tipple n it3ll 2ist spoil it- Ja4ieson adds? I Jist a /e0 )a4e .unts- Doyle (epeats so/tly- loo1in us a0 o0e(- noddin slo0ly n s4ilin a0ay? That .unt )ies ye the .(eeps so4eti4es?
*)

,e 0i( a0 loo1in at ea.h othe(? Ah didnae /eel that /u.1in )a4e- ah 1in tell ye that? Ah 0ish 0e .ould 2ist say- 0e )oat a 0ee (esult- up the toon thai(e- lit3s 2ust 5uit 0hile 0e3(e ahead n en2oy the 4at.h? E/ti( a0Geo()e 6est3s in the tea4- that3s i/ the .unt disnae )it stu.1 in the booEe(? Fu.1 )aun up a)ainst loads ay hal/B pished Gles)ay .unts auld enou)h tae be yi( /aithe(? DoEo n Joe 6e)bie n bi) =a(ty Gentle4an had it a0 a((an)ed thou)h? N tae tell the t(uth- ah3d (athe( 0ade intae a 4ob ay Huns n ta1e a bad panellin- thin shite it n hu+ tae /a.e they (ad)es ootside the s.hool )ates oan =onday 4o(nin? :o 0e 0i( )aun (oond tae Doo)ie :pen.e(3s hoose 0i a .ai((yBoot? Fu.1 standin in the )(oond an ooi( be/o(e the )a4e3s sta(ted? That3s a0(i)ht 0hin yi( t(yin tae ta1e o( de/end an end but the polis hu+ )oat a0 the se)(e)ation 0ell so(ted oot no0? :o 0e 0ent (oond tae the Pa1i3s n )oat so4e bee( n .heap 0ine? ,i( a0 unde(Ba)ed- but Te((y n Gent loo1 about t0entyB/i+e so thi( 0is nae bothe( thai4 )ittin se(+ed? It suits 4e .ause ah ni+i( )et se(+ed in any ay the pubs? ,e didnae 0ant tae )it too be++ied- but ah 0is de/initely needin it /i( Dut.h .ou(a)e? Doo)ie :pen.e( 0isnae too pleased tae see us at /i(st? Eh 0is a loat aulde( thin us- in ehs t0enties? Eh hun) aboot 0i DoEo n Gent n Pol4ont n the Leith boys- but ye .ould see thit they thou)ht eh 0is a 0an1e( n they 0i( 2ist usin u4 .ause eh hud a /lat ay ehs ain? Eh 0isnae that .hu//ed aboot the 4ob ay us .o4in up- bit eh soon 0a(4ed tae 4e n Ca(l n 6illy .ause 0e sat n listened tae ehs sto(ies aboot the pa))e(s 0i He(ts in the late

si9ties and ea(ly se+enties- 0hile DoEo3s .(e0 2ist loo1ed at u4 li1e eh 0is a .unt? De .ould tell Ca(l 0is it.hin tae say so4ethin) .ause eh3s a Ja4bo- and eh )oes 0i a s5uad /ae oo( 0ey so4eti4es? He(ts 4i)ht be the top 4ob no0- but ah (e.1on 0i so4e ay the youn) boys that a(e )ittin behind Hibs- that it .ould be .han)in a)ain soon? Ah 0ent /i( a pish- n 0hen ah 0ent intae the hall- that Pol4ont 0is th(ou)h thai( oan ehs ain? Eh tu(ned a0ay /ae 4e- it 0is li1e the .unt 0is upset? Li1e eh3d been /u.1in )(eetin o( so4ethin)? I A0(i)ht 4ate- ah )oes? The boy said no0t thou)h- so ah 2ist 0ent intae the bo)? E+en thou)h ye .ould tell that ah loat ay :pen.e(3s sto(ies 0i( shite- alon) 0i the 0ine n bee( they )oat us a0 /i(ed up by the ti4e 0i hit the st(eets tae0a(ds the )(oond? ,e 0i( 0ande(in th(ou)h the Hibs .(o0d but 0hen 0i )oat tae Albion 7oad- 0i 0ent tae 0hai(e the st(eet tu(ned (oond the ba.1 ay the stand and .(ossed the ba((ie(s and
*#

0al1ed past the polis on the hoa(ses? I Douse 7an)e(s suppo(te(s- boysH A bi) .op as1ed us? I Cou(se 0i a(e- bi) 4an- DoEo said in a soapdod)e( a..ent- and 0e 0al1ed a.(oss the /i/ty ya(ds ay noB 4an3s land passin th(ou)h the othe( .o(don tae 4e()e 0i the Huns .(o0d and tae )it intae the Dunba( end? Ca(l had ta1en oot the 7id Hand ay Alste( /la) n d(apped it (oond ehs shoodi(s? ,i( )ittin loo1s a0(i)ht- .ause thi(3s this 4ob ay us 0i nae .olou(s n a0 the Huns a(e done up li1e thi( )aun tae the s.hool panto4i4e@ /la)ss1e(/s- bad)es- ta44ies n .aps- TBshi(ts- bit ye .ould tell that at the 0o(se they thoat thit 0i 0i( He(ts .unts ta1in thai(e side? DoEo3s snea1ed in a hal/Bboatil ay +oddy? Eh passes it (oond as 0i( in the 5ueue? It .o4es tae 4e n ah ta1e a s0i)? It /eels .auld- nippy n 4ethy in 4a 4ooth but 0hin it hits 4a )uts ah nea(ly hea+e up 4a ,i4py bu()e(? Fu.1 d(in1in +oddy neat? Ah pass it tae To44y as 0e 1eep .he.1in oot the .unts a(oond us- t(yin tae 0o(1 oot a)es- ha(dness- 0hae3s in a s5uad n a0 that so(t ay thin)? :o4e ay thai4 loo1ed /u.1in 4in)in@ thi( .lathes n a0 that? 7olle(s sta( 2e(seys n a0 that /u.1in stu// that nae .unt he(e3s 0o(e sin.e pun1? Nae F(ed Pe((y- ha(dly any Adidas o( /u.1 all? The s.a(y thin) 0is thit the .unts a0 loo1ed dead auld? It3s /unny- .ause e+e(ybody says that Gles)ay .unts (eally d(ess up- li1e 0hen they )o up the toon at ni)ht n that? They dinnae /u.1in 0ell dae it du(in the day any0ey- no i/ these /u.1e(s a(e anythin) tae )o by? Ah suppose they 0i( loo1in at us n a0- 2ist .ause 0i 0i( 4u.h bette( d(essed thin thai44aist ay us 0i .apped slee+e TBshi(ts n s1inne(s o( Le+i3s? E+en thou)h 4aist ay us .a4e /ae s.he4es o( tene4ents- 0i 0i( still a .ut abo+e these di(ty /u.1e(s? Hal/ the .unts thai( hud ni+i( /u.1in seen soap n 0ate(that 0is a .e(t? Ah suppose it 0isnae (eally /unny- in /a.t it 0is a sha4e /i( the4- li+in in slu4s n hu+in nae hoat 0ate( o( tellies n that- bit it3s no oo( /u.1in /ault n they shouldnae .o4e th(ou)h he(e ta1in it oot oan us? As 0i 0i( )aun in- DoEo led oa/ a .ho(us ay 30e a(e the 6(i1tin De((y /u.1 the Pope n the 8i()in =a(y3 n a loat ay they Hun .unts 2oined in? ,i 0i( lau)hin at ho0 easy it 0is tae )it thai4 )aun- 2ist li1e 0indin up a /u.1in .lo.10o(1 toy? De 1in tell so4e ay these .unts a(e no su(e aboot us thou)h- n thi( (elie+ed tae 2oin in a p(oddy son) 0i us as 0e )o th(ou)h the tu(nstiles intae the Dunba(- and up the te((a.es? ,e had loast 7enton the Ja4 Ta(t3s 6(othe(- n that .unt :pud- they hud snea1ed a0ay- p(obably 0ent intae the Hibs end- /u.1in shitein
*7

.unts? Ah dinnae 4ind ay the4 .o4in th(ou)h the ba((ie(s 0i us? No that it bothe(s 4e? That .unt =u(phy3s as 4u.h ay a s.(u// as any Gles)ay /u.1e(? Fu.1in e4ba((ass4ent- it hus tae be said? :o it3s 4e- 6i((ell- Ca(lTe((y- DoEo- =a(ty Gentle4an- Ally- Joe 6e)bie- 6e)bie3s b(a( n To44y n that /unny .unt thit says no0t- the .unt /ae Pol4ont? =.=u((ay- ah thin1 they .all hi4? Eh3s a yea( aulde( than 4e- but eh loo1s youn) n a0? Cannae /i)u(e that boy oot? De see u4 loo1in at DoEo Doyle a0 the ti4e- eh see4s tae be aboot the only .unt the boy tal1s tae? ,i ta1e oo( pla.es tae the (i)ht ay the )oal- nea( the 4iddle ay the te((a.in)? The +oddy boatil .o4es (oond a)ain n ah sti.1 4a ton)ue in the spout- 2ist p(etendin tae d(in1? Ah still nea(ly (et.h up thou)h- 2ist the /u.1in 4ethy s4ell ay it? Ah pass it tae Gent? ,e3(e su((ounded 0i Huns? =y he(t3s )aun boo4- boo4- boo4? Ah /eel the blade in 4a poa1it? De /eel li1e yi( 2ist 0antin it tae )o (ad)e no0- .ause the /u.1in tension is unbea(able? It loo1s 0ei(d bein in the )(oond /ae this end? The Hibs /ans (aise thi( s.a(/s in the ai( and sta(t tae sin)- but it loo1s p(etty .(ap be.ause they a0 dae it in s4all )(oups (athe( than as one? De 1in tell it3s Leith- Nidd(ie- D(yla0- Po(ty- Toll.(oss- Lo.hend n the li1e- a0 daein it sepa(ately? :o4e ay the43ll be /i)htin ea.h othe( soon? Thi(3s so4e )(oups ay Hibs that3ll ne+e( )it the)ithe(- no e+en a)ainst 7an)e(s? Cunts that hu+ been 1no.1in /u.1 oot ay ea.h othe( 4aist 0ee1ends and so4e 0ee1days sin.e the yea( dot u(nae )aunny pit thi( di//e(en.es aside /o( a .ouple ay hou(s oan a :eti(day a/te(noon- e+en a)ainst Gles)ay .unts? A)ainst He(ts- 4ibbe? Then they sta(t sin)in $is 2ame is Georgie Best. Thi(3s a .hee( as Hibs (un oot n 0e a0 loo1 at ea.h othe(? 6est3s playinG The .hee(s a(e d(o0ned by the boos a4on)st us 0hi.h tu(n intae .hee(s as 7an)e(s ta1e the /ield? Derry*s Walls sta(ts up? It3s /unny loo1in o+e( tae the Hibs .(o0d- seein yi(sels as the opposition see ye?

The )a4e 1i.1s o// and e/ti( a bit ay .hantin- the at4osphe(e settles doon? ,e sta(t tae .al4 doon a 0ee bit? ,i( .he.1in oot 0hi.h .unts 0e 0ant tae ha+e- n thi(3s this boy aboot oo( a)e 0i (id hai( n 0hite s1inne(s0ho3s )oat plenty 4ooth oan u4? Eh3s 2ist shoutin a0ay aboot Fenian basta(ds this n I7A .unts that? De 0onde( 0hat /u.1in planet so4e ay they 0an1e(s a(e oan? I That (ad)e is /u.1in .lai4ed- DoEo says? Gentle4an nods? Aboot the 4iddle ay the /i(st hal/ DoEo si)nals us n 0i )o up tae the bo)s? Thi(3s a .ouple ay Huns daein a pish n Gentle4an ha44e(s one .unt? It3s su.h a sudden- /e(o.ious pun.h tae the side ay the boy3s
**

heid- ah /eel si.1ened 4asel /o( a .ouple ay se.onds? The +oddy bu(ns in 4a )ut a)ain? The boy3s de.1ed n lyin n ehs pish as 0i pit the boot in? Ah boot the boy3s le)- pillin 4a 1i.1- no 0antin u4 hu(t bad? The point3s been 4ade? That Pol4ont .unt3s )ittin a bit too 1een n 6illy pills u4 a0ay? DoEo3s booted ehs 4ate in the ba0s? I ,e a(e the ADA- eh shouts in the boy3s /a.e- then- I O( is itBahBthee I7AHG in Johnny 7otten style? I Aye- that3s the yin- eh lau)hs- n 0i( a0 pishin oo(sels? The pe(( .unt3s bent double hudin ehs nuts- loo1in up at us n t(e4blin? Ca(l )ies u4 a 0in1- but that Pol4ont boy steps /o(0a(d n slaps hi4 in the .hops 0i the ba.1 ay ehs hand? Then 0i 4o+e oot the di(ty shitehoose n ba.1 intae the .(o0d? Just as 0e )it ba.1 tae oo( pla.e- Hibs s.o(e n the )(ound e(upts at the othe( end? It3s so /u.1in ba((y- n ye 2ist 0ant tae )o yehhhssss ? ? ? but 0e3(e sayin no0t- 2ist steyin .ool n bidin oo( ti4e? DoEo lau)hs intae his slee+e? Then it happens@ t0o Huns a(e a()uin and one panels the othe(? The boy3s 4ate 2u4ps in and it sta(ts )aun (ad)eG This is ou( .han.e? Gentle4an steps /o(0a(d n batte(s the ,hite :1inne(s .unt a /u.1in beauty? The boy3s nose3s bu(st (eally bad n eh sta))e(s ba.1 intae the .(o0d sp(ayin so4e .unts 0i ehs blood? Ehs 4ates a(e hudin the boy up- n thi( a0 in sho.1 n a0? One3s )aun- I C34oan boys- 0i( a0 p(a0stints the)ithe(G Jui.e Te((y (uns in and )ubs the basta(d n 6i((ell 2ust sta(ts pun.hin e+e(y .unt? This bi) /u.1e( 0ho 4ust3+e been aboot /o(ty is up the te((a.in) and n ehs pu44ellin 6i((ell but the da/t .unt3s standin ehs )(oond- li1e pi.1in ehs pun.hes- bo9in the boy as the .(o0d sepa(ates? Ah (un n 1i.1 the boy n the le)- ai4in /i( ehs ba0sn Gentle4an b(in)s the hal/Bboatil ay +oddy doon oan toap ay ehs heid? Eh so(t ay hit the boy /ae its base n the boatil3s no b(o1en bit the .unt3s /elt it a0(i)ht n eh3s sta))e(ed ba.1? ,e3(e a0 )aun /u.1in 4ental no0 and Doyle3s (i)ht in the thi.1 ay thin)s- .ha()in intae a load ay boys? 6e)bie3s b(a( elbays a boy a snea1y .(a.1e( in the side ay the heid? This (ad)e3s s.(ea4in at 4e /ae a /e0 /eet a0ay n eh3s (unnin ehs /in)e( doon the side ay ehs /a.e in a slash 4a(1? Ah hea( a0 they Gles)ay a..ents )aun 3out o/ o(de(3 and 3/u.1in ani4als3 n it /eels te((i/yin but ba((y 0hin ye thin1 ay a0 the ti4es they3+e .hased us n batte(ed us? Ah34 )aun up n doon li1e a /u.1in yoByo 0i the su()es in the .(o0d- t(yin tae s0in) n .ha()e n 1eep 4a balan.e? Di( su((ounded by /lyin bodies one se.ond- n the ne9t yi( in an island ay spa.e 0hi.h opens up oot ay nae0hai(e? Ah s4a.1 one
*9

.unt in the .hops- the da/t /u.1e(3s ai(4s a(e pinned tae ehs side by the .(o0d pushin hi4 /o(0a(d a)ainst the .(ush ba((ie(? The Huns a(e in a 4ess- nane ay the .unts nea( us 0ant tae .o4e ahead- but 0hile thi( 2ist standin thai(e 4outhin it- thi( stoapin a load ay bi) /u.1in bad basta(ds 0hae 0ant tae )it th(ou)h /ae )ittin tae us? Ca(l )ets splatte(ed in the /a.e 0i )ob- n the .unt )oes 4ad- (uns /o(0a(d n batte(s this one boy? It3s /unnybut nane ay the boy3s 4ates u( t(yin tae stoap u4- thi( 2ist standin thai(e 0at.hin u4 leathe( the laddie? Ah see 0hat3s su()in) tae0a(ds us and tae be honest ah34 /u.1in 0ell .hu//ed 0hin the polis )it thai(e /i(st? A boatil /lies past 4a /a.e but it hits a Hun behind 4e? Anothe( yin s4ashes oan a .(ush ba((ie( in /(ont ay To44ysho0e(in us a0 0i b(o1en )less? It3s li1e the Huns3+e /inally sussed 0hat 0e3(e up tae and 0i( )aunny be t(a4pled unde(/oot by the shee( 0ei)ht ay nu4be(s? Than1 /u.1 the polis u( in thou)h- /o(4in a 0ed)e? Ah ni+i( thoat ah3d be sae .hu//ed tae see they .untsG Thi(3s /u.1in .haos 0i e+e(y .unt pointin the /in)e( at e+e(y .unt else n the .ops3+e )oat Gentle4an- Jui.e Te((y and F(an1 6e)bie? They )it d(a))ed doon the te((a.e steps- n thi(3s .unts spittin at the4 and t(yin tae pit the boot intae the4 as they )o past? The 6e)bie b(othe(3s sna(lin at thu4- n t(yin tae )it /(ee /ae the polis4en tae )it at thai4- ehs Ha((in)ton 2ay1it3s a0 (ipped at the ai(4? Gentle4an3s shoutin I I7AG n Te((y3s 2ist lau)hin n blo0in 1isses tae the Huns? =ai( boatils n .ans /ly n thi(s pa))e(s b(ea1in oot a0 o0e( the pla.e? One boatil )oes to0a(ds Geo()e 6est oan the pit.h- 2ist /a0in sho(t? Eh pi.1s it up and 4a1es oot tae d(in1 /ae it? The Hibs .(o0d .hee( n so4e ay the 7an)e(s a(e lau)hin n a0? They tal1 aboot playe(s 0indin up the .(o0d- but ah (e.1on that 6est- 2ist by daein that- stoaped a 4a2o( (iot? The at4osphe(e 0is pu(e poison be/o(e? ,e3(e oa/- 6illy- Ca(l n 4e headin one 0ay n the (est slopin oa/ thi( ain 0eys? Joe3s a0ay 0i DoEo n the Pol4ont boy? Pol4ont did /u.1 all- ni+i( /lun) a pun.h- 2ist stood thai(e in the spa.e loo1in a0 ne(+ous 0hin e+e(y othe( .unt 0is /i(ein in? Ah 0is su(p(ised at Te((y 0adin in a0 1een- .ause the .unt ne+e( see4ed that bothe(ed ea(lie( oan? That3s Te((y thou)h- anythin) /i( a lau)h n a bit ay spo(t? ,i )et th(ou)h the .(o0d tae a spa.e nea( the s.o(eboa(d 0hai(e 0e see that =a(ty Gentle4an- Jui.e Te((y n

F(an1 6e)bie a(e )ittin 4a(.hed alon) the t(a.1 by the side ay the pit.h? A hu)e .hee( )oes up .ause Te((y3s 4ana)ed tae pill oot ehs s1e(/ n eh3s 0a+in it n the Hibs /ans a(e )aun da/t? The polis4an3s 2ust 0at.hin u4 li1e a dippit .unt90

no e+en ta1in it oa/ u4? Then anothe( .op .o4es up and snat.hes it /ae hi4? ,ee 6e)bie3s st(uttin li1e a )an)ste(- loo1in li1e that Ja4es Ca)ney boy )aun tae the ele.t(i. .hai( n no )iein a /u.1- n =a(ty Gentle4an3s )oat ehs /a.e ha(d n set n a0? Te((y but- eh3s )(innin li1e that 6ob =on1house .unt oan The Golden hot. An auld boy ne9t tae ays says that they3(e ani4als- n ah )oes- I Aye- too (i)ht they a(e Ji44y- in a Gles)ay a..ent? ,i( 0at.hin the (est ay the )a4e in a satis/ied silen.e? Then Geo()e 6est 0altEes th(ou)h so4e 7an)e(s playe(s in the 4iddle ay the pa(1? It3s no Hibs + 7an)e(sit3s 6est + 7an)e(s? They .annae )it the ba0 o//ay hi4? 6est .han)es di(e.tion- sto(4s tae0a(ds the Huns3 )oal and s4ashes it intae the netG Ah34 standin thai( bitin the s1in oan 4a /in)e(tips till it stin)s and bleeds? It see4s li1e a /u.1in a)e but the 0histle )oes? ,e3+e 0onG ,e3+e beaten the .untsG Ca(l 1eeps spittin oot )ob ontae the )(oond- .ou)hin li1e eh3s t(yin tae 4a1e ehsel see1? It 0is /unny as /u.1 seein u4 0ade intae that boy- .ause eh sais that eh 0isnae bothe(ed- eh 0is 2ist )aun /i( the at4osphe(e? ,e head oot n 0i( 0al1in 0i a load ay 4u4py Huns up tae the station? It3s al4ost li1e 0i .annae loo1 at ea.h othe(? Ah34 shitein it in .ase any .unt 0i done sees us and ah 0ant a0ay /ae this 4ass ay (ed- 0hite and blue as soon as possible? Thi( 0ild as /u.1 n thi( .allin 6est a t(aito(- sayin that eh3s an Alste( P(otestant n eh plays /i( Fenian tea4s- /i(st =an Anited- then Hibs? Ho0 .an they say =an.heste( Anited3s a Fenian tea4H Fu.1in spaE0its? The .ops a(e (eB(outin e+e(ybody by Abbeyhill but 0e +ee( oa/ up London 7oad- headin /o( Leith ,al1? At /i(st it3s a /u.1in (elie/ tae be oot ay that .(o0d ay blue bodies but 0e /ind 0e3+e 0al1ed (i)ht intae a battle/ield? It3s )aun oa/ e+e(y0hai(e at the top ay the ,al1- 0ee )(oups ay .unts hu+in it 0i ea.h othe(? :o4e Hibs boys a(e atta.1in a .ouple ay Huns3 buses that3+e been da/t enou)h tae pa(1 in the 0asteland beside the Playhoose? Then a bun.h ay )a4eBasB/u.1 Huns /ae the buses .o4e sto(4in up the hill- only tae be /o(.ed ba.1 by stanes n b(i.1s /lun) at the4? It3s 4ental- one )uy3s )oat eh3s heid split open beside this bi) poste( ay =a9 6y)(a+es ad+e(tisin ehs Festi+al sho0 in the Playhoose? The polis a(e )aun nuts as 0ell- 0adin in- n 0e de.ide tae .all it a day- headin oa/ ba.1 doon tae :pen.e(3s tae 4eet the (est ay the4? =a 0hole body3s th(obbin a0 the 0ey doon the
91

,al1? Ah34 d(eadin any .unt )ittin 0ide 0i us no0- .ause ah3+e nae ene()y le/t tae stand up tae the4- it3s li1e a0 the he(t3s been ta1in oot ay ays? A0 ah 1in /eel is the a.id in 4a )uts and the /ea( in 4a spine? Than1/ully 0i( in Leith no0 n it3s a0 Hibs- bit ye 1in still )it pilled up by .unts /ae anothe( pa(t ay the toon? Ca(l3s still .ou)hin n )obbin a0 the ti4e? I ,hat3s up- ah )oes? I That di(ty Gles)ay .unt )obbed at ays n ah .ould /eel so4e ay it )aun intae 4a 4ooth n doon 4a th(oat? A bi) /u.1in )(ease( n a0? ,e3(e lau)hin- but eh3s no 2o1in? I That3s /u.1in dan)e(ous- Gaily- I ye 1in )it hepatitis /ae thatG That3s 0hat happened tae Joe :t(u44e( on.e? Eh 0is in hoapital- the loat? Eh nea(ly /u.1in 0ell diedG Ca(l3s (eally upset- but ye .annae help lau)hin? Than1/ully- 0i )it doon tae :pen.e(3s 0ithoot any 4ai( bothe(? E+e(ybody3s hi)h as /u.1? That Pol4ont .unt3s the only one that3s no sayin 4u.h? Te((y n so4e ay the4 )it intae the pub- the one 0i the :pa.e In+ade(s? Ah t(y tae dae a snea1y yin- but the boy behind the ba( .lo.1s ays n sta(ts shoutin- I Ah3+e telt you be/o(e ya 0ee .unt- )it /u.1in oot ay he(eG Di3ll loas ays 4a /u.1in li.en.eG Te((y lau)hs- but 6illy .o4es oot 0i ays? Ah )ies u4 so4e .ash n eh )its a boatil ay .ide(? ,i hud oan doon in Leith- 0aitin /i( the )in3 2e%s tae .o4e oot? 6illy n 4e3s sha(in the boatil ay .ide( bit 0i( no 0antin tae )it too pished /i( the ni)ht? ,i( a0 hin)in aboot this pub- hal/ ay us inside the othe( hal/ ootside? ,i )it so4e .hips 0hi.h helps tae settle the )uts? Thi(3s loads ay d(un1s a(oond- sin)in Hibs son)sand $is 2ame is Georgie Best. E/ti( a bit- Ca(l )oes tae the ne0sa)ent n .o4es ba.1 0i a fin3, n it3s ba((y.ause thi(3s a 4ention aboot us in the 4at.h (epo(tF this 4iss 0as the .ue 0hi.h spa(1ed o// a se(ious distu(ban.e at the a0ay end? It see4s as i/ so4e Hibs suppo(te(s 0e(e in the 0(on) se.tion o/ the )(ound? Poli.e 4o+ed in 5ui.1ly to (e4o+e the t(ouble4a1e(s? Then- in the stop p(ess- it sais thit thi( 0is ei)ht a((ests inside the )(ound and anothe( /o(tyBt0o ootside? I Could3+e been bette(- DoEo said? ,e 0i( .hu//ed thou)h? Ah e+en )a+e that paupin .unt Ca(l so4e ay the .ide(?
9(

Clouds
,i )ot the bus ba.1 tae the s.he4e- sittin in the 0ideo seat- (i)ht at the ba.1 oan the toap de.1- )iein the eye tae any )ad)es that .a4e oan? ,i 0i( pu4ped up tae /u.1 a)ain- a0 the 4ai( .ause 0e 0i( headin ba.1 oot tae oo( ain bit? ,hin 0i )oat oa/- 6i((ell .ut doon tae the A+enue tae )et ba.1 tae his bit doon the auld hooses- but 4e n Ca(l hud tae )o past Te((y3s? The .unt3s =a 4ust ha+e seen us .ause she .a4e oot oantae the doo(step n shouted oan us? As 0e3(e )aun up the path tae 4eet he(- she3s .o4in doon it tae0a(ds us 0i he( ai(4s /olded a.(oass he( .hest? Te((y3s 0ee siste(3s .o4e oot n she3s standin behind he(? :he3s )oat they ba((y s1yBblue hoatBpants oanthe yins 0i the bib thit ah3+e hud a 0an1 aboot? Ah3d sha) D+onne- i/ she didnae loo1 sae 4u.h li1e Te((y? It ni+i( bothe(ed 6i((ell- but? I D+onne- inside- he( =a )oes n she t(oops in? I :o 0hat happened thenH =e n Ca(l loo1 at ea.h othe(? 6e/o(e 0i 1in spea1- she )oes- I Ah )oat ah phone .all /ae the polis? They phoned ays at =(s Jea+on3s ne9t doo(? Thi( .ha()in u4 0i b(ea.h ay the pea.e n assault? :aid yis 0i( a0 in the 0(on) end? ,hat happenedH I It 0isnae li1e that =(s La0s ??? eh =(s Al(i.h- ah )oes? Ah 1eep /o()ettin thit she3s =(s Al(i.h no0- .ause she 0ent n 4ai((ied that Ge(4an )ad)e? I It 0isnae Te((y3s /ault- o( the othe( boys? Gen up- Ca(l sais? I ,i )oat doon thai(e late n 0i 2ust 0ent tae that end soas 0e 0idnae 4iss the 1i.1Bo//? Too1 ou( s1e(/s oa/ n 0i ni+i( e+en .hee(ed Hibs- eh And(e0H That 4ust be the /i(st ti4e eh3s i+i( .alled ays 3And(e03? N it3s no e+en his /u.1in tea4- eh3s 4eant tae be a Ja4 Ta(t? :till- eh3s t(yin tae help- so ah ba.1s u4 up I Na0- bit these boys hea(d ou( a..ents n they sta(ted oan us? :pittin n that? One ay thu4 pun.hed Te((y n Te((y pun.hed u4 ba.1? Then they a0 sta(ted? The othe( boys 2ist 0ent tae help Te((y? =(s Al(i.h hus lit he( /a) bu(n doon- and she d(ops it n sta4ps it oot- he( heeled shoe t0istin it intae the path? :he li)hts anothe( yin? Ah 1in tell Ca(l3s thin1in aboot as1in he( /i( one- bit ah dinnae thin1 it 0id be a )ood idea the no0? I Eh thin1s it3s a0(i)ht /i( hi4 .ause eh3s 0o(1in? 6it 0hat does eh )ie 4e /i( ehs 1eepH ,hae3s it thit3ll hu+ tae pey they /inesH =eG It3s ey0is 4eG ,hai(e u4 ah )aunny )it the 4oney tae pey bloody .oo(t /inesH It3s no oan ? ? ? it3s 2ist no oan ? ? ? she shoo1 he( heid- loo1in at us li1e she e9pe.ted us tae say so4ethin)? I It3s 2ist
93

no )ood enou)h- she said- ta1in a d(a) ay the /a) n sha1in he( heid? I This 0is supposed tae be 0hat hi4 )aun tae the bo9in 0i 6illy 0is a0 aboot- tae stoap a0 this- a0 this so(t ay nonsense? It 0is 4eant tae )ie u4 dis.ipline- that 0is 0hat they says tae 4e? Dis.ipline bi.h(istG she sta(ed at us n lau)hed- a0 that nasty 0ey li1e? I Ah bet 6illy didnae )it li/tedH EhH I Na0- Ca(l )oes? I Na0- no hi4- she sais- a0 1no0in) n bitte(? It 0is /unny (i)ht enou)h- thit Te((y 0ent tae the bo9in 0i 6illy- n eh 0is the only one thit )oat done? This (eally see4s tae hu+ done ehs =a3s heid in? D+onne .o4es ba.1 oot behind he(? :he3s )oat a bit ay he( hai( in he( 4ooth n she3s su.1in at it n pi.1in it? I 6illy didnae )it done- did eh- Ca(lH she as1s? I Na0- eh3s 2ist a0ay ha4e- 0e 2ist le/t u4? =(s Al(i.h tu(ns (oond tae D+onne- I Ah telt ye D+onne- insideG I Cin stand he(e i/ ah li1e- D+onne )oes? I As1in e/ti( 6illy bloody 6i((ell 0hin yi( ain b(othe(3s in the bloody 2ail bi.h(istG Te((y3s =a )oes? Then =( Al(i.h .o4es oot? I Co4e inside Ali.e- this 0ill sol+e nothin)- eh )oes? I It is no )ood? The(e .an be no0t that 0ill be a.hie+ed? D+onne? Co4e indoo(s? Co4eG D+onne )oes in- then Te((y3s =a shi+e(s and )oes inside- sla44in the doo(? Ca(l n 4e loo1 at ea.h othe(st(et.hin oo( 4ooths as 0ide open as they3ll )o? ,hin ah )it in- 4uh =a3s )oat the tea oan? Fish n .hips- 0hi.h is ba((y? Ah )its the heels ay b(eed n butte(s thu4 n hus 4aist ay 4uh tea stu.1 bet0een the4- s4othe(ed in b(oon sau.e? =uh =a ey0is )ies ays a (o0 /i( ta1in the heel /ae the boatu4 ay the b(eed pa.1et- but ye hu+ tae i/ ye 0ant tae 4a1e a (i)ht pie.e? The o(dina(y sli.e )its too so))y 0i the 4elted butte( n it 2ist /a0s tae bits? :heena3s hud he(s- she3s sittin oan the .ou.h 0at.hin telly 0i he( pal Tessa? I Thi( 0isnae any bothe( at that 4at.hH 4uh =a as1s- as she pou(s so4e tea /ae the pot? Ah 0is aboot tae say 0hat ah usually say- 0hi.h is 3Ah didnae see any?3 De ey0is say that- 0hethe( thi(3s a /ullBs.ale (iot o( 2ist /u.1 all? Then ah 4ind that Te((y3s 4ibbe )aunny be oan the telly n in the pape(sG :o ah tell he( thit ah )oat loast /ae Te((y but he ended up )aun tae the 0(on) end by 4ista1e n )ittin li/ted? I De 0ant tae 1eep a0ay /ae hi4- he3s a t(ouble4a1e(- she said- I 2ist the sa4e as his /aithe(? Thi( 0o(th no0t- nane ay thu4? Alan 0is

9/

oan the phone- she said? I He 0is 0i 0ee Lisa n a0 they /itba hooli)ans 0i( a0 (unnin a(oond the toon ? ? ? A0 /u.1 ??? :he s4ells so4ethin) oan 4a b(eath? I Hu+ you been d(in1inH I It3s only .ide( ? ? ? Fu.1 ? ? ? that .unt Alan ? ? ? :he loo1s at 4e and sha1es he( heid- then sta(ts tae tidy up the plates? I Aye- she )oes- Alan 0is sayin that it3s a0 ani4als at the /itba no0- and eh 0idnae )o? Eh 0illnae let 7ay4ond )o? Than1 /u.1- eh didnae see aysG Ah thoat she 0is 2ist sayin that tae t(y n d(a0 ays oot? Fu.1 Alan and 7ay4ond n to(nB/a.ed 0ee Lisa- the snobby basta(ds? That .unt That.he(3s oan the telly- he( that the En)lish +oted in? Cannae /u.1in stand he(- that /u.1in +oi.e? ,ho the /u.1 .ould +ote /o( a .unt li1e thatH De .ouldnae +ote /i( anybody 0i that /u.1in +oi.e? :till- =( E0a(t says that the 4ine(s n that3ll )it (id ay he( soon? :o ah34 sittin in /o( a bit- )ittin .o4/o(table- 0at.hin the telly? tars3y n $utch .o4es oan n ah34 2ist )ittin intae that 4ood 0he(e ah34 no (eally bothe(ed aboot )aun oot o( no- 0hin the doo( 0ent n it 0is 6illy n Ca(l? They .o4e in- bit thi( 0antin ays oot /i( Clouds? Ah 0is 2ist )ittin intae tars3y n $utch n a0 n ah ni+i( e+en hud ti4e tae .han)e? :heena n Tessa sta(ted )aun a0 bash/ul .ause they both li1e 6illy n ah 0is an9ious tae )it us a0 oot the hoose be/o(e they e4ba((assed ays? 7unnin up the stai(s ah )oat .han)ed 5ui.1 as /u.1- )ittin 4a ea((in) in? Thi( 0is a spot .o4in up oan 4a .hin n ah ni+i( hud ti4e tae .he.1 it (i)ht? De dinnae 0ant spots at any ti4e- but spe.ially no at Clouds? As 0e )o oot the doo(- that .unt Ca(l /li.1s 4a ea((in) n )oes I Hello- sailo(G Oan the bus ah (ealise thit ah3+e still )oat the 1ni/e oan ays? Ah didnae 4ean tae b(in) it? Fu.1 it- thi3ll no be any bothe( the ni)ht? Ah 0is (eally )led thit ah didnae pill it at the /itba? The thin) 0is ah )oat so intae 2ist pun.hin n 1i.1in- ah didnae e+en thin1 aboot it? :o 0i 0i( a0 up tae Clouds that ni)ht- o( 0hat used tae be .alled Clouds? They .all it The Ca+endish no0 but e+e(y .unt still 1ens it as Clouds? It3s /unny- but 4uh /aithe( n 4uh An.le Donald used tae )it oan 4a tits 0hen they .alled pla.es- pubs n that- by thi( auld na4es? No0 he(e3s 4e daein the sa4e? ,hate+e( ye .all it thou)h- it3s ba((y- .ause in the 5ueue 0e )it t(eated li1e he(oes? Thi( 0is a .(o0d ay they st(oppy Cle(ie .unts bit they 0i( sayin no0t? =e n Ca(l had d(an1
9)

anothe( boatil ay .ide( bet0een us n 0e 0i( a bit ootae the )a4e by the ti4e 0e )oat thai(? De hu+ tae hud it the)ithe( 0hen yi( )aun in- .ause the boun.e(s3ll no lit ye in i/ yi( stea4boats- n ah34 0o((ied aboot the4 sussin the 1ni/e- but 0e sail past the4 th(ou)h the doo(? Thi(3s a bi) 4ob in thai(- DoEo n his .(o0d- n 0i( )aun o0e( the sto(ies a)ain? Then Te((y n =a(ty Gentle4an .o4e in- n thi(3s a bi) .hee( /ae DoEo n Pol4ont n so4e ay the othe( boys? E+e(ybody3s as1in thu4 aboot 0hat happened 0i the polis- ti4e e/ti( ti4e? T(eated li1e /u.1in he(oes? 6a((y? Te((y3s no bothe(ed aboot thin)s thou)h- ah3ll )ie hi4 ehs due? It3s li1e eh3s hud ehs /itba ti4e- n this is ehs lassies ti4e no0? I Nae Lu.y the ni)htH Ca(l as1s u4? I Na0- she too1 the /u.1in st(op .ause ay ays )ittin hu.1led? Didnae 0ant he( up he(e the ni)ht any0ey? :eti(day ni)ht3s 4a ain ni)ht- ah li1e it best 2ist seein he( in the 0ee1 n oan :undays- eh e9plains? That .unt leads so4e /u.1in li/e? Te((y 1in )it intae Annabel3s and Pipe(s n a0- the lu.1y basta(d? Eh e+en )oes tae the 6and0a)on so4eti4es? A0 he3s oot /i( is the /anny as usual? Fi(st ah sees u4 dan.in 0i that 8i+ =.CenEie bi(d- then thi( ne.1in in the .o(ne(? Then eh3s 0i one ay the bi(ds /ae the ,i4py n eh3s ba))ed oa/ 0i he(- bit it3s no the bi) yin 0i the 0hite teeth- it3s the 0ee yin 0i the leathe( 2ay1it? 8i+3s no bothe(ed- she3s )oat oa/ 0i To44y /ae the 66s3s 4ate- this Leith )uy :i4on ,illia4son? =e n 6illy n Ca(l )o doonstai(s .ause that boy Ni.1y that sells the blues is doon thai( n 0e )it yin ea.h o//ay u4? They sta(t tae ta1e e//e.t 0hen ah34 oan the Gala9ian 0i 6illy- 0hi.h a0(i)ht- isnae as )ood as :pa.e In+ade(s o( e+en Aste(oids- but it3s a0 thu+ )oat? :oon thou)h- 0i( )ittin a (eal buEE oa/ they blues- so e/ti( a bit it3s /u.1 the Gala9ian- n 0hai(e3s the /annyH The /anny3s ba.1 up the stai( o/ .ou(se- n so u( 0e? Ah34 intae a dan.e no0? ,e3(e standin oan the ed)e ay the dan.e/lai(- 0at.hin the lassies dan.in unde( the 4i((o(ball (oond piles ay handba)s? The d(y i.e .o4es oot n st(obes sta(t )aun? 6illy 0is sayin thit eh on.e sa0 that s.(u//Bboy /ae Leith- that :pud =u(phy- )it hu.1led /i( .ho(in handba)s 0hin eh thoat nae .unt .ould see 0i the s4o1e 4a.hine oan? It3s no the ba)s oan the /lai( ah34 bothe(ed aboot thou)h- .ause thi(3s so4e total (ides he(e- nae 4ista1e aboot that? A0 they ba((y e(ses 0(apped in they .lin)/il4Bti)ht pen.il s1i(ts? It /ai( sets yi( pulse (a.in 0hin yi( oan the speed? One ay they lassies thit 0is 0i the Cle(ie boys is loo1in a.(oass at ays- bit ah dinnae /an.y the 1ind ay bothe( thit .o4es
9#

0i that? :o4e ay the Cle(ie boys3+e .lo.1ed us n a0? The .unts dinnae li1e the attention 0e3(e )ittin? Jist

.ause they ni+i( thou)ht tae pill oa/ a stunt li1e that at the )a4e? Jealous /u.1e(s? These 0an1e(s 0idnae hu+ the b(ains tae thin1 ay it o( the 0ideness tae dae it? Hal/ they .unts a(e Ja4 Ta(ts any0ey? Ah sees that 7enton boy /ae the /itba )o past? Ah nod? I Good (esult the day- eh- the .unt )oes? J Ni+i( 4ind the /u.1in (esult- 0hai(e did youse )it tae- you n yi( 4ateH ah )oes? Ca(l lau)hs- n 6illy loo1s a0 intense at the boy? Ah3ll )ie the .unt ehs due- i/ eh3s (u//led eh3s no sho0in it? I The polis sa0 4a /u.1in s1e(/ .o4in oot ay the botto4 ay 4a 2u4pe( n they sent ays ba.1? Jist as 0ell they did- .ause ah didnae see it 4asel n the Huns 0ould3+e? :pud 2ist .hu44ed ays- eh e9plains? 6illy lau)hs- loo1in li1e eh disnae (eally belie+e the 7enton boy- but eh3s )iein hi4 the bene/it ay the doubt? It sounds li1e bullshit tae 4e- n ah 1in tell by the 0ey that Ca(l loo1s at the .unt that he thin1s so n a0? :tillah34 no bothe(ed? It3s up tae that F(an1 6e)bie tae say so4ethin) tae 7enton- it 0is hi4 that b(oat the .unt? I :ee yis- eh )oes- headin a0ay? I Aye- ah sais ba.1? As 7enton )oes past- Ca(l )ies the 0an1e( si)n tae ehs ba.1? Ah34 hu+in a blethe( 0i 6illy n Ca(l 0hin ah see he( .o4in in? It is he(? :he3s so /u.1in )o()eous ah .annae loo1? Ca(oline A(5uha(t? :he 0al1s past us in a )(oup ay lassies? Ah ni+i( 1ent she .a4e he(e- ah thou)ht she 0ent tae aulde( pla.es li1e Annabel3s n that? Ah tu(n a0ay n t(y tae be .ool? Ah34 a bit /u.1ed- bit in a )ood 0ey- )ittin ene()y o//ay the blues? Ca(l3s a0ay 0i it- tal1in shite as usual? I Listen ? ? ? 6illy- Gaily- listen the no0? Eh ye .annae )it 8D o//ay a lassie3s titH 6y /eelin it li1esay? Ah sta(ts lau)hin- n 6illy does n a0? I Dou3(e a heidban)e(- E0a(t? I Na0 ah 0is 2ist li1e ? ? ? I Dou3+e ni+i( hud a (ide- hu+ yeH 6illy a..uses? Ca(l3s )aun a bit 0hite- but eh steys 5uite .ool? I Cou(se ah hu+- it3s 2ist thit ah (ead so4e0hai(e aboot a boy thit )oat 8D /ae /eelin a lassie3s tit- eh sais? It3s /unny- but so4e .unts )it a bea4e( 0hin thi( e4ba((assedothe( .unts- li1e Ca(l- )o 0hite? I Get tae Fal1i(1? Eh ni+i( (ode he(H 6illy s.o//s? I Na0- it 0is 2ist o//ay /eelin he( tit? I That3s )a(ba)e? Piss o// ya (ad)eG Hea( u4- Gaily- 6illy says tae
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ays- sha1in ehs heid? Ca(l li1es tae a.t the bi) /anny 4e(.hant but ah doubt eh3s e+e( hud a (ide in ehs pu//? Eh3s 1no.1ed aboot 0i 5uite a /e0 lassies n eh 0is )aun oot 0i that Alison Le0is /i( a bit- but ah doubt eh )oat anythin) o//ay he(? Na- he3s no hud a (ide? Neithe( hu+ ah- 4ind you- n it3s aboot /u.1in ti4e ah did? Ah3+e hud the tit- )ied the /in)e(- been 0an1ed o// n hud 4a .o.1 )a44ed- so ah34 dyin tae )it it p(ope(? The lassie ah used tae )o 0i- Ca(en =oo(e- she didnae 0ant tae )o a0 the 0ey but? :o /u.1 that- ah pa.1ed he( in@ ye 1in only )it .o.1Bteased /i( so lon)? :he 0is a ni.e lassie but- n 4uh =a li1ed he(- in /a.t she 0ent a0 na(1y 0hin ah telt he( ah3d pa.1ed he( in? Ah /elt li1e sayin tae he(- you /u.1in 0ell )o oot 0i he( then? Dou3+e p(obably )oat 4ai( .han.e ay )ittin yi( hole oa/ he( thin ah hu+G Any0ey- ah34 up /o( it the ni)ht? That Odyssey3s oan- that 'se it '! n Wear it 0ot, n ah dee1 Ca(oline A(5uha(t up oan the /lai( dan.in 0i he( 4ate? :he3s 0ea(in a ba((y (id d(ess- 0i bla.1 ti)hts? He( 4ate3s a0(i)ht- )ood bit ay tit on it? Fu.1in hell- it3s that A4y Conno(G :he loo1s di//e(ent in that )(een toap n the 4a1eBup- he( hai( a0 up? Aulde(? 6illy3s seen thu4 n a0? I 7ides- eh )oes? Then eh loo1s at ays n says- I Fan.y 4o+in in thai(eH Ah /eel a bit /unny? A bit ne(+ous? Ah (ubs at 0hai(e ah /elt that plu1e .o4in up? It e+en see4s tae hu+ )one intae a heidG A plu1e unde( the st(obe li)hts 0i Ca(oline A(5uha(tG I/ ah 4a1e a .unt ay 4asel- n )it 1?b?3dah3ll hu+ tae /a.e he( e+e(y day at s.hool? I No 0antin oa/ 0i a bi(d /ae the s.hool- ah )asp- a bit too 5ui.1? 6illy lits it )o but Te((y 0idnae hu+? =ind you- he3s a0ay in 0i ehs ne0 4ates no0- ehs ha(d- 0ide 4ates? I Ah 4ean- that3s shite- ah add? I Popeye- 6i((ell says? I Na0- bit listen 6illy- thi(3s sta.1s ay /anny he(e- ah point o0e( tae t0o othe( bi(ds dan.in oan thi( ain? One3s )oat st(ai)ht blonde hai(? :he3s a (ide? The othe(3s )oat lon) da(1 hai(- n he( e(se loo1s )ood in that pen.il s1i(t? I :ee they (ides but? I Tidy- 6illy a)(ees- n 0i 4o+e in- dan.in a0ay in /(ont ay thu4? Ah nods tae the blonde bi(d n she does tae 4e n a0? Ah3d li1e tae s4ile at he( but 4a 4ates 4i)ht thin1 ah34 a poo/? ,i did they /u.1in Huns the dayso ye .annae )o a.tin a0 poo/y 0i bi(ds n sho0in e+e(y .unt up? The li1es ay Te((y 1in )it a0ay 0i it .ause he3s )oat that 1ind ay pe(sonality? That &tomic by 6londie .o4es oan so ah ta1e that as 4a e9.use tae .hat up the bi(d? I That3s you- eh- 6londie- the blonde hai( n that- ah )oes- /eelin eh( hai( /i( a bit? :he 2ist s4iles bit in a 0ey thit

9*

4a1es ays /eel li1e a 0an1e(? That .unt Te((y- i/ he said the sa4e thin)- they3d be a0 that 0hooo ? ? ? 0hooo type ay 0ey? I Ah 0is it the /itba the day? At Easte( 7oad? Too1 the /u.1in Huns- eh- ah shout in he( ea(? :he s4ells dead ni.e? I Dinnae li1e /itba- she )oes? I Di( no a /u.1in Ja4 Ta(t- u( yeH I Dinnae li1e /itba? =uh Dad suppo(ts =othe(0ell? I =othe(0ell3s /u.1in shite- ah )oes? =ibbe ah shouldnae hu+ been sae /u.1in nippy thai(- but they are nothin n she hus tae be telt? ,i( )aun oa/ the /lai(- n she )oes ba.1 tae0a(ds 0hai(e he( 4ates u( sittin? I :ee ye 0ell- ah )oes? I Aye- (i)ht- she sais- )aun a0ay n sittin doon 0i he( 4ates? 6illy .o4es o0e(? I 6a) oa/H I Ah34 /u.1in 0ell in thai(e- ah )oes? I :he3s /u.1in 0ell )antin oan it? He3s no ba))ed oa/ 0i the othe( one thou)h? Hudin ays ba.1? Then that tart4 by The Ja4 .o4es oan- the one thit 1no.1ed 6o0ie3s &shes to &shes oa/ nu4be( one? Ah li1e it thou)h- n 0i( sin)in) it- bit it3s li1e 0i( sin)in aboot the Huns??? 3i/ I ne+e( e+e( see you ??? it 0ill be a sta(tG3 Doo doo doo doo ? ? ? Fu.1in b(a4e(? :ee they blues ? ? ? ? ? ? be/o(e ah 1en it the last slo0 nu4be(3s oan- the dee2ay3s tellin a0 the )uys tae )it up n 4o+e oan in thai(no that any .unt needs en.ou(a)e4ent? Ah /i(es up intae that 0ee blonde lassie a)ain? It3s an auld son) but- that Oli+ia Ne0tonBJohn daein that $o!elessly De(oted tae You /ae Grease. ,e sno) /i( a bit- but ah )it a ha(do n ah 1in /eel he( bu.1lin a0ay? Ah34 li1e C(opley the du) he(e? ,hin the 4usi. stoaps 0i pill apa(t n she s4iles? :he s5ueeEes 4a hand n loo1s at 4e- but ah so(t ay /(eeEeno 1enin 0hat tae say? I Eh- see ye in a 4inute- she )oes- headin ba.1 oa/ the /lai( 0he(e ah sees 6illy tal1in tae that 7enton n this =atty boy /ae Leith? Ah .annae see Ca(l? The blonde lassie3s o0e( 0i he( 4ates? Thu+ )oat the li)hts up n the 4usi. oa/ n thi( .hu.1in us oot? ,e3(e t(yin tae .he.1 oan e+e(y .unt? Ca(l see4s tae hu+ ba))ed oa/ 0i so4e /at )in)e( bi(d- 6illy says eh sa0 u4 snea1in a0ay 0i he(? =ust hu+ been a (i)ht /u.1in 4u.1Bbu.1et /i( hi4 tae be sae snide aboot it? Ah34 t(yin tae be .ool- but ah34 loo1in /o( he(- no Ca(oline A(5uha(t- but that 0ee blonde pie.e? Ah see hu( e/ti(- as 0i( )aun oot- intae the /oye(? The 0ee blondie? He( 4ate .o4es up tae ays n nods o0e( at he( n )oes- I :he /an.ies you?
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Ah loo1s o0e( n sees he( /a.e- a0 ha(d n se(ious n .o.1y n ah 2ist 0ish she 0ould 4ibbe s4ile li1e she 0is daein ea(lie(- n no loo1 li1e she 0is )aunny o//e( ays a s5ua(eB)o- bit ay .annae s4ile eithe(- .ause thi(3s too 4any .unts a(oond thit 0ould ta1e the pish? :o ah nods tae the doo( n 0i head oot n (oond the .o(ne(- tae the alley doon by the ba.1 ay Clouds 2ist behind Toll.(oss n 0i( doon thai(e n ah34 ne.1in he( n t(yin tae )it the tit- but she3s pillin 4a hand a0ay n she3s no e+en )aunny )ies the /u.1in tit n that3s nae /u.1in use tae 4e ? ? ? ? ? ? ah3+e )oat tae )it a (eal ba)Bo// ? ? ? ??? ah dinnae 0ant tae be a +i()in ? ? ? I Dinnae be a /u.1in lesbian then- ah )oes? I Ah34 no /u.1in lesbian- (i)ht sonG I ,hat3s /u.1in 0(on) 0i ye thenH :he pills a0ay /ae ays- n sta(ts )aun o0e( tae 0hai(e hu( 4ates a(e? Ah sta(ts tae say so4ethin- n she 2ist tu(ns (oond n )oes- I Piss o// you- (i)ht? He( 4ate loo1s a /u.1in 0ide lassie- ha(dB/a.e- da(1 hai(? The type 0i 4ental b(a(s- ye 1in 2ist tell? :he loo1s at 4e n )oes- I Fu.1in beat it- son? 7i)htH Just /u.1in 0ell beat itG Just then Ca(oline A(5uha(t and hu( 4ate A4y a(e .o4in oot 0i Te((y n that :i4on ,illia4son boy- this )ad)e /ae Leith? It see4s thit eh3s a 4ate ay that 7enton n To44y n =atty as 0ell as Joe 6e)bie3s b(a(? Te((y3s lau)hin n eh3s )oat ehs ai(4 a(oond Ca(oline n she loo1s at ays li1e ah 0is /u.1in ? ? ? li1e ah 0is /u.1in no0t ? ? ? N then ah hea( this shoutin n e+e(ybody loo1s a.(oas tae 0hai( this pa))e(3s ta1in pla.e n it )ies 4e the e9.use tae )it the /u.1 a0ay n ah34 4o+in o0e(? 6illy )(abs 4a 0(ist n )oes- I Lea+e it- Gaily- this is DoEo Doyle 0i these Cle(ie .unts? They3(e no0t tae dae 0i us? I Fu.1 o//G Ah pushes past u4 n ah pill oot the /u.1in .hib n ah34 o0e(? Then ah stoap n thin1@ 0hat the /u.1 u4 ah daein he(eH Ah 2ist stand thai(e? DoEo3s pa))e(in the Cle(ie boy n the )uy3s 4ates .lo.1 the 1ni/e n thi( oa/ doon the (oad? The blade did the t(i.1G That Pol4ont3s 2ist standin daein no0t? The Cle(ie boy3s doon and DoEo3s bootin at hi4? Then Pol4ont nods at 4e n eh ta1es the .hib o// ays- and ah 2ist )ie3s u4 it- n eh bends doon n (ips the othe( )ad)e3s /a.e apa(t 0i it? =y he(t 2ist )oes ban)- as ah see the boy3s s1in open up and nothin) /o( a se.ond- then a )ash and blood tea(in oot ay it? Doyle loo1s doon at the boy? I Fu.1in Cle(ie 0an1G The boy3s hudin ehs /a.e the)ithe(- n eh3s sayin stu//- da/t stu// thit

100

4eans no0t n ah34 loo1in doon at u4? It 0is 4eant tae be a s5ua(eB)o ? ? ? DoEo n the boy ? ? ? Ah 2ist stand (ooted tae the spot as Pol4ont hands the blade ba.1 tae 4e? Ah ta1e it- ah dinnae 1en 0hat /i(? Cause it3s 4ine- ah suppose? Pol4ont loo1s at 4e and 4a1es a /a.e- and DoEo sha1es ehs heid? They lau)h and sta(t 0al1in a0ay? A .ouple ay )uys .o4e o+e(- 0at.hin) 4e- 0at.hin) the boy- the blood? Then they3(e )one? One sais so4ethin- but ah .annae hea( u4? The )uy3s still )oat ehs hands o0e( one side ay his /a.e n eh loo1s up and sees 4e 0i the 1ni/e? Eh loo1s at 4e in dis)ust- li1e ah34 an ani4al? Ah tu(n n (un a.(oass the .a(Bpa(1 doon the lane n intae the 4ain (oad? Ah (un /i( a)es- only stoapin 0hin ah34 oot ay b(eath? Then ah th(o0 the 1ni/e a0ay- intae one ay they bi) bins? It ta1es ays a 0hile tae (ealise 0hai( ah a4? Ah3+e been )aun in the 0(on) di(e.tion? Ah ba.1t(a.1- but by a (oundabout 0ey n ta1e the ba.1st(eets ha4e- a+oidin the 4ain (oads? It sta(ts tae (ain? The li)hts /ae the st(eet la4ps (e/le.t oan the blueBbla.1 pa+e4ent 4a1in ays /eel si.1 n diEEy n ah Eip up 4a Ha((in)ton n button the .olla(? =y )uts bu(n 0i e+e(y step ah ta1e? E+e(yti4e ah hea( a poli.e si(en o( see a .op .a(- ah thin1 it3s /i( 4e? =a he(t /lies up tae 4a 4ooth n 4a blood 2ist (uns .auld? Ah see the toon .han)e@ the shoaps be.o4e the posh toon hooses- then it3s the tene4ents- then it3s li1e no0t /o( a)es- then the dual .a((ia)e0ay n the li)hts ay the s.he4e?

A 0@ir9in1 &oldier3s &on9
,i( hin)in aboot the shoaps at :tenhoose G(oass oan :unday 4o(nin? :undays a(e shite and they )it shite( the lon)e( they )o oan? Thi(3s no0t tae dae but tae tal1 aboot the 0ee1end and /eel the /ea( and the dep(ession .(eep up oan ye until it3s =onday 4o(nin? Ah on.e sais tae 4uh An.le Donald 0hae 0o(1s oan the estate at 7ento1il- I Does it )it any bette( 0hin ye lea+e s.hool n )o tae 0o(1H Eh 2ist shoo1 ehs heid n lau)hed at ays as i/ tae say@ aye- that3ll be /u.1in (i)ht? 6it it3s still the 4o(nin n a0 the 0ee1end t(iu4phs u( /(esh? Espe.ially 0i that 0ide .unt Te((y 0hae )oesI =a /u.1in .he((y3s still )oat a nip oan it /ae 4a 0ee s.hool)i(l last ni)ht? :4ooooth /u.1in
101

(ide- eh huds ehs hands oot n th(usts ehs hips a0 slo0? He )oat no0t o//ay he(- no o//ay Ca(oline A(5uha(t? Fill ay /u.1in shite that .unt? I ,hat aboot a0 that 3ah 0idnae tou.h he(3 )a(ba)e ye used tae .o4e oot 0iH ah )oes? I ,ell- Te((y s4iles- I ah thoat- no0 thit ah34 0o(1in- it3s no bad hu+in a 0ee bi(d /ae the s.hool tae (ide no0 n then? 6illy loo1s a0 i4p(essed by the lyin .unt- n ye 1in tell thit Te((y laps that up? 6i((ell )oat stu.1 (i)ht in at the /itba n he 0is the boy (eally- 0ell- hi4 and Gent- e+en i/ Te((y 0is the yin thit 0is ni.1ed? N eh ne+e( .(a0ls up tae Doyle n that li1e Te((y does? Ah thin1 6illy3s (i)ht intae Ca(oline A(5uha(t n A4y Conno( n a0? E+e(y .unt is- e+en i/ they lie aboot it- li1e Te((y? I :he 0is )aun oot 0i that bi) boy- 0is she noH eh as1s? I Na0- the .unt du4ped he(? Eh3s )aun oot 0i anothe( lassie no0? :o ah 0is oan hand tae lend a sy4patheti. ea( ??? eh )(ins- I ??? n a sy4patheti. tad)e( n a0- eh lau)hs- th(ustin ehs hips a)ain? I Ah should be than1in that bi) .unt .ause eh tau)ht he( the (opes a0(i)ht? Ah thou)ht she3d be a0 that 2e(1y- sti// 0eyli1e a 0ee +i()in- eh )oes spittin) oot the 0o(d 3+i()in3 li1e it 0is 3lepe(3- I bit na0- the bi) .unt 4ust3+e (ode a0 that oot ay he(- )ied eh( /ud a )uid b(ea1in in /i( ays? Di(ty 0ee .o0 1ent ho0 tae )ie a )obble n a0? Too (i)ht she didG Jist aboot /u.1in 0ell )a44ed it o//ay aysG 6ullshit? :he 0idnae hu+ soo1ed that s0eaty .unt3s di(ty 1nob? I ,hae 0is that boy thit ba))ed oa/ 0i he( 4ateH 6illy as1s? Te((y ta1es a s0i) ay the I(n 6(u eh3s )oat? I :i4on the boy3s na4e is? Good lad? Eh )oat a titB(ide o//ay A4y Conno(? Eh3s a 4ate ay Joe 6e)bie3s b(othe(- that .unt F(an.o thit )oat done 0i 4e? Ah34 2ist hopin thit ah3+e no )oat a dose o//ay that 0ee Ca(oline- .ause ah34 oa/ doon tae Lu.y3s /i( :unday dinne( this a/ie- n ah 1en 0hit3s /i( e/ti(sG I Thoat she 0is pissed oa/ 0i you )ittin ni.1edH Ca(l as1s? I Aye- that .unt ay a /aithe( ay he(s is t(yin tae poison he( a)ainst ays? Thin) is- it3s nae )ood? On.e a bi(d3s hud Te(en.e Hen(y La0son- that3s he( spoiled n only the best 0ill do? They .annae )it enou)h ay it 4anG Gua(anteedG The bi)Bheided .unt passes the 2ui.e o0e( tae 4e? Ah nod the I(n 6(u boatil a0ay n eh passes it oan tae Ca(l- 0hae ta1es a slu)? He3s loo1in a0 pleased 0i ehsel? =ibbe eh )oat ehs hole o//ay that /at )in)e(? Ah /u.1in 0ell hope no- .ause it 0ould 4ean that

10(

ah 0is the only one he(e that husnae hud it no0? 6illy3s hud it oa/ Cathleen =u((ay- n o//ay Te((y3s siste( D+onne n a0? That =a))ie O((- he( /ae 6illy3s stai(- she3s .o4in doon the (oad 0i this lassie that3s )oat )lesses? Loo1s (eally ni.e but? They stoap o0e( by the .hippy? I Te((y- .34e(e the no0- she 0a+es hi4 tae .o4e a.(oass? Te((y3s standin ehs )(oond but? I Nup- youse .o4e o0e( he(e- eh )oes- a0 .o.1y? I Na0- the ni.eBloo1in lassie 0i the )lesses nods ba.1 at =a))ie- n she3s s.(e0in up he( /a.e- 4a1in oot li1e =a))ie doesnae 0ant tae see Ca(l o( 6illy? 6illy3s no bothe(in but- eh3s )oat the pape(- n Ca(l 2ist loo1s a0ay- ehs hands oan ehs hips? 6illy (olls the pape( up n hits u4 oan the heid 0i it? Ca(l says so4ethin) li1e- I ,an1e(? Te((y sh(u)s n )oes o0e( tae the lassies? That ba((y lassie 0i the lon) bla.1 hai( n the )lesses loo1s o0e( at 4e n s4iles? =a he(t )oes boo4? :he see4s dead ni.e- di//e(ent /ae so4e ay thu4 (oond he(e? Then Te((y loo1s (oond at ays n a0- then lau)hs 0i this lassie n eh pushes eh(- then )(abs eh(- n it3s li1e eh3s ti.1lin eh(? :he3s lau)hin a0ay n tellin u4 tae stoap it? Eh shouldnae be daein that tae a lassie li1e that- a ni.e lassie? That3s o1ay tae 4u.1 aboot 0i sla)s li1e that- but no the li1es ay this lassie? =a))ie doesnae li1e it eithe(- n Te((y sees this- so eh )oes o0e( tae ehr n sta(ts ti.1lin eh(- then eh pi.1s eh( up- n she3s s.(ea4in- I TE77DG n 0e 1in see eh( 1ni.1e(s- n eh lits eh( doon n she3s )oat a bea4e(? Thi( doon the (oad- n the bi))e( lassie that3s ni.e is lau)hin- but =a))ie3s beet(oot (id- hu( eyes 0ate(in? :he3s so(tay lau)hin a 0ee bit n a0 but? Te((y sp(ints ba.1 o0e( tae us? I :ha)Bhappy- thon pai(- eh lau)hs- as they head doon the (oad? Eh sees 4e loo1in at u4? I ,hoah- eh )oes tae ays- I that bi) Gail- she /an.ies you Gaily? :he )oesF 3,hae3s the 0ee .uteyBpie 0i the bi) eyesH3 Chee1y /u.1in .untF ta1in the pish? Ca(l n 6illy u( lau)hin at ays- n 6illy pin.hes the side ay 4a /a.e? Ah34 i)no(in that bi) 0an1e( Te((y- i)no(in thu4 a0? I A0 aye- a0 su(e- ah )oes? 6illy opens the unday "ail a)ain? Te((y- the /u.1in bi) 4an- that .unt3s lo+in) it a0? They 4ade a hu)e /u.1in deal aboot that shite at the 4at.h? They /u.1in Gles)ay pape(sF they ni+i( bothe( 0hin they s.(u//s (un (iot th(ou)h he(e? Te((y3s /u.1in stupid /a.e n that stupid /u.1in hai(? A0 o0e( the pape(? Cunt thin1s eh3s a /u.1in sta(? It3s a0 /u.1in bullshit?
103

W( ;AM(

I*& T 5-

The s4i(1in)- un(epentant thu) 0ho b(ou)ht te((o( and sha4e to Easte( 7oad on :atu(day is ae(ated 0ate(s sales4an Te(en.e La0son ; %<? =illions o/ a(4.hai( /ans 0at.hed last ni)ht3s popula( !ortscene p(o)(a44e 0he(e a Geo()e 6estBinspi(ed Hibs pulled o// a +i.to(y a)ainst 7an)e(s? 6ut the 4at.h 0as o+e(shado0ed by se(ious distu(ban.es in and a(ound the )(ound? 3These people a(e not (eal /ootball /ollo0e(s-3 said Inspe.to( 7obe(t Toal o/ Lothian Poli.e? 3T(ue /ans should denoun.e the4? They a(e hellBbent on dest(oyin) the )a4e?3 The insolent /a.e o/ La0son bein) .a(ted a0ay /(o4 a se(ious a//(ay he had insti)ated 0as too 4u.h /o( 4any )enuine suppo(te(s? 6ill =.Lean ;! < o/ Peni.ui1 saidF 3This is the /i(st )a4e I3+e been at /o( yea(s and it3ll be the last? The(e3s too 4u.h hooli)anis4 these days?3 MA$IA La0son is (eputed to be the (in)leade( o/ a noto(ious Edinbu()h /ootball hooli)ans )an) 1no0n as 3The E4e(ald =a/ia3 be.ause o/ thei( atta.h4ent to the Hibs Football Club and thei( e9t(e4e (uthlessness? @I<L(;C( La0son is no st(an)e( to +iolen.e? Last yea( the b(a0ny- pe(4edBhai(ed thu) 0as .on+i.ted o/ a b(utal assault on anothe( youn) 4an outside a .ity .hip shop? ,e .an (e+eal that he also has .on+i.tions /o( the +andalis4 o/ a telephone bo9 and the 4ali.ious s.(at.hin) o/ the body0o(1 o/ an e9pensi+e .a( 0ith a set o/ house1eys? The .a( belon)ed to Edinbu()h business4an A(thu( 7ennie? &ICA Last ni)ht La0son3s 4othe(- =(s Ali.e Al(i.h ;'#<- stood by he( son? 3=y Te((y .an be a bit da/t- but he3s no thu)? He3s 2ust been han)in) a(ound 0ith the 0(on) .(o0d? I34 )ettin) si.1 o/ this?3 La0son 0as a((ested alon) 0ith t0o youths- a)ed si9teen and /i/teen- 0ho /o(
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le)al (easons .annot be na4ed? The .ase 0ill be hea(d in a /o(tni)ht3s ti4e at Edinbu()h Dist(i.t Cou(t? I It3s no a /u.1in pe(4- Te((y )oes- (unnin) ehs hand th(ou)h ehs hai(? I This isnae /u.1in pe(4ed? Eh thin1s ehs shite disnae stin1? Jui.e lo((y s1i++yin 0an1e(? I It3s .ause yi( auld 4an 0is a /u.1in ni))e(that3s a0 it is- ah )oes? Ah 0ish ah hudnae said that? Te((y disnae )it oan 0i ehs auld 4an? Ah thin1 eh3s )aunny dae ehs nut- but eh disnae )it an)(y? I ,ell at least eh hud /u.1in )ood s1in- eh )oes ba.1- pointin at 4a /a.e? I :1in li1e that n )ittin yi( /u.1in hole- they dinnae 4i9 4ate- eh 0in1s- n e+e(y .unt3s pishin thi(sels? I Nae 0onde( yi( :?A?8? Ehs /a.e is )aun a0 ti)ht n ah34 0onde(in- 0hat the /u.1 is he oan aboot ? ? ? 6illy loo1s blan1ly at Te((y? I ,hat3s thatH

I :till a +i()in- Te((y )oes? Thi( a0 lau)hin li1e /u.1 at 4e@ sha1in- hudin ea.h othe( up? ,hin ah thin1 thu+ stoaped- thi(3s anothe( 0a+e that sta(ts up as ah see so4ethin /i( a 4inute in Te((y3s eyes as they 4eet 4ine- it3s nea(ly li1e an apolo)y be/o(e it3s bla0n a0ay by they bi) don1ey b(ays? =uh hand /lies up tae 4uh spot oan 4uh /a.e? Ah .ouldnae stoap it )aun thai(e? Ah3+e anothe( one no0? Aye- n thi( lau)hin e+en 4ai(? Ca(l- 0hae snea1ed a0ay 0i that /u.1in )in)e( boot n thin1s eh3s the last ay the (idBhoat lo+e(s .ause so4e do) naebody else 0ants )ied u4 it? 6i((ell- 0hae ni+i( e+en )oat a ne.1 ? ? ? I Fu.1 o// you ya .unt- ah 1in hea( 4asel sayin- but ah34 that (a)in that 4a b(eath3s .at.hin in 4a .hist? Te((y? Cunts? Fu.1 the4 a0? Thai(e no /u.1in 4ates ??? I FACC OFF LA,:ON- DA POOFG I N you3ll 4a1e ays li1e- ayeH Te((y )oes- sta(in it ays? Ah tu(ns a0ay- n ah thin1 eh hal/B1ens it3s .ause ah34 /ea(t ay 0hat ah*ll dae (athe( thin ay 0hat he3ll dae? I Dinnae )o in the /u.1in .(ea4 pu// li1e a 0ee bai(n- Gaily? It3s you thit ste(ted it 0i a0 this ni))e( shite- eh )oes? I Ah 0is only /u.1in 2o1in- ya .unt? Jui.e Te((y? The /u.1in bi) 4an? Ha01in /u.1in boatils ay 2ui.e (oond s.he4es ? ? ?
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I ,ell ah34 only 2o1in aboot you( /u.1in plu1es- eh )oes- n E0a(t n 6i((ell u( lau)hin a)ain? ,an1e(s ? ? ? Ah ta1es a step /o(0a(d n s5ua(es up tae Te((y? Ah34 no /u.1in 0ell /ea(t ay that .unt? Ni+i( /u.1in 0ell hu+ been? Aye- they a0 thin1 eh3s a bi) ha(d .unt no0- bit ah 1en bette(? The .unt /o()ets thit ah /u.1in 0ell )(e0 up 0i u4? Eh3s standin ehs )(oond a0(i)ht- but thi(3s a 0a(iness aboot hi4? 6illy3s in bet0een us? I :toap )ittin 0ide 0i ea.h othe(? 7i)htH :upposed tae be 4ates? Douse t0o a(e b(utal? ,e3(e still /a.in ea.h othe(- )la(in at ea.h othe( o0e( 6illy3s shoodi(? I Ah sais stoap )ittin 0ide? 7i)htH 6i((ell )oes- ehs pal4 pushin a)ainst 4a .hist? That .unt3s )ittin oan 4a ne(+es as 4u.h as Te((y? Ah 0is oot ay o(de( sayin that- (i)ht- but the .unt should3+e too1 it as a 2o1e? Ah /eel 4asel leanin /o(0a(d intae 6i((ell3s sho+e- 4a1in it soas eh eithe( hus tae (eally push ays ba.1 o( ease o//? Eh nods tae 4e n eh eases oa/? I C34on Gaily- eh sais- /i(4 but (easonable? I Aye- .34oan boys- si44e( doon eh- Ca(l )oes- 0(appin an ai(4 (oond Te((y- then pullin at the .unt/o(.in hi4 tae b(e1 ehs sta(e at 4e? Te((y p(otests- but Ca(l3s playB0(estlin) u4- /o(.in u4 tae 2oin in? I Fu.1 o// E0a(t- ya 4il1BboatilBheided .unt ? ? ? Then ah says- I Ah 4eant it as a /u.1in 2o1e? Dinnae )o /u.1in thin1in yi( the bi) 0ideo .ause ye )oat li/ted at the /itba- Te((y? Dinnae )o /u.1in 0ell thin1in that- ah tell the .unt? Te((y pushes Ca(l aside n loo1s at ays? I Dinnae you /u.1in 0ell )o thin1in that you3(e the bi) 0ideo .ause yu+ been .ai((yin a /u.1in 1ni/e? A 1ni/e? The boy3s /a.e? Ah /eel .auld? Ah /eel thit ah34 alaine- thit they a0 hate ays? 6i((ell3s ba.1in the .unt up n a0? I Aye- you pa.1 that shite in- yi( )aunny )it in bi) bothe(- ah34 tellin ye Gaily? N ah34 sayin that .ause ah34 yi( 4ate? Di( patte(3s )ittin b(utal? Tellin 4i /u.1in I+(ay .unt /u.1in tellin 4i The boy3s /a.e? That Pol4ont .unt? Ni+i( /lun) a /u.1in pun.h at the /itba- the /u.1in shitein .unt? G(eetin oan ehs ain li1e a 0ee lassie doon at :pen.e(3s? Ni+i( 2u4ped in /o( DoEo 0hin they Cle(ie boys 0i( (eady tae )o until they sa0 4e 0i the blade? N 0hat eh did tae the boy 0is ta1in (eal libe(ties? DoEo 0is pannellin the boy? Thi( 0is /u.1in nae
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need? N ah 2ist stood thai( n lit u4 hand ays ba.1 the blade? Ah too1 it- ah too1 it li1e a /u.1in tube? Ah34 /u.1in shitein 4asel? Ah tu(ns tae Ca(l? I ,hat3s a0 thisH I Dou3(e oot ay o(de(- Gaily- Ca(l )oes- pointin at ays? # Nae /u.1in .hibs? E0a(t- the /u.1in He(ts .unt- tellin 4e ah34 oot ay o(de(? A0 aye? A0 su(e? 6illy3s sta(in at ays? I The polis .a4e last ni)ht- e/ti( you le))ed it? As1in) e+e(ybody 0hat 0ent oan? Ah34 loo1in at thu4 a0? Thi( a0 loo1in at 4e the sa4e 0ey the li1es ay 6la.1ie n a0 they .unts at the s.hool dae? :upposed tae be yi( /u.1in 4ates? I Aye- n 0hat did youse /u.1in 0ell say tae thu4H 6et yis /u.1in 0ell )(assed aysG I A0 aye- a0 (i)ht- aye- dae ays a /a+ou(- 6illy )oes? Te((y 2ist loo1s at ays li1e eh hates ays? Ca(l3s standin ba.1 a bit- sha1in ehs heid?

I Douse 1en no0t- ah )oes n ah tu(ns n sta(ts 0al1in a0ay? Ca(l shouts- I C34oan GailyG 6illy )oes- I Jist lea+e u4? Ah hea(s that .unt La0son shoutin in an A4e(i.an +oi.e- a0 hi)h- I CueBteeBpie ? ? ? bye- bye .ueBteeBpoi ??? n 4a blood3s /u.1in boilin? He3s /u.1in )ittin it? Ah )oes doon the (oad- past the .hu(.h n the 6i((ells3 stai(- then o0e( intae oo( s.he4e? Ah sees auld =( Pende( .o4in doon the hill /ae the 6usy 6ee pub- n ah shout- I Hiya- but eh i)no(es ays- loo1in a0ay 5ui.1ly? ,hat3s up 0i hi4 no0H Ah3+e ni+i( done no0t tae hi4? ,hen ah pass Te((y3s s5ua(e- ah loo1 o0e( tae his bit tae see i/ D+onne o( any ay he( 4ates a(e a(oond? De 0onde( ho0 it is that Te((y3s su.h a .unt- n D+onne3s that ni.e? D+onne3s lo+ely? Thi(3s naebody aboot but- n ah )oes o0e( tae 4a ain s5ua(e n up the stai(s? Ah 0is 2ist in ti4e- .ause ah sees a bi) bun.h ay He(ts boys- Topsy n that- headin this 0ey? Topsy3s a0(i)ht- n eh3s Ca(l3s 4ate- but thi(s so4e ay thu4 thai(e that 0id be bound tae )it 0ide i/ they sa0 thit ah 0is oan 4a ain? Ah34 no in the 4ood /o( any .unt )ittin 0ide the no0? Thi(3s that )(a//iti thai(e oan the stai( 0a0 in (id /elt penF LEANNE HALC7O, ! TE77D LA,:ON T(ue by both?
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The .unt p(obably 0(ote it ehsel? Ah splatte( it 0i )ob- 0at.hin the .olou( (un doon the 0a0? Cheap /u.1in in1? Fu.1in Te((y thin1s eh3s that 0ide- 0i ehs ni))e( /u.1in hai( n the .unt3s /u.1in =a3s sha))in a /u.1in NaEi no0? Fu.1in 0ide /at stupid /u.1in tube? :upposed tae hu+ (ode e+e(y /u.1in bi(d n batte(ed e+e(y /u.1in laddie in the s.he4e? Li1e /u.1? The ha(d 4an? Li1e /u.1? N /u.1in 6i((ell n /u.1in E0a(t? ? ? ba.1in u4 up ??? .unts? Ah )oes tae 4a (oo4 n puts oan the /i(st LP ah i+i( boat- The Ja43s This is the "odern World. C(opley .o4es in n ah pat hi4 0i a t(e4blin hand as 4a tea(s splash oan ehs heid? Tea(s that nae .unt3ll see? E+e(? Ah3ll ni+i( stey oan at s.hool? Ah3ll ni+i( )et a 2oab? Ah3ll ni+i( )et a (ide? Thi3ll pit ays a0ay?

The Rockford Files 1> The Professionals
:unday ni)ht is as bo(in as /u.1? Ah34 pillin the yellay (ubbe( (in) /ae C(opley3s 4ooth? Eh3s )(o0lin th(ou)h ehs nost(ils? Eh3s )oat so4e )(ip oan u4? The (in)3s a0 .o+e(ed 0i ehs sla+e(s? I And(e0- enou)hG 4uh =a )oes- I yi( )aunnae pill that ani4al3s teeth ootG Ah .annae a//o(d tae pey +et3s bills tae )it u4 a set ay /alse teeth- o( 0hate+e( it is that they need- she sta(ts lau)hin- n 4e n :heena do n a0at the thou)ht ay C(opley 0i /alse(s? :o ah lits the (in) )o? Eh3s )oat it- n eh 2ist b(in)s it ba.1 tae ays tae )it ays tae tu) it 0i u4 a)ain? I Du+ )oat it- C(opley- )aun- blo0- ah sais? Du)s u(nae that b(i)ht (eally? It3s 2ust a load ay shiteF that 6a(ba(a ,oodhoose oan the telly? :he .ouldnae t(ain a du) li1e C(opley o( one ay they st(ay du)s that atta.1 ye 0hin ye t(y tae )o a.(oss the pa(1 tae s.hool? 6i((ell booted one in the th(oat the othe( 0ee1 n it 0ent a0ay 0hinin? Eh sais that du)s a(e li1e people- so4e ay thu4 u(nae as 0ide as they thin1? Ca(l sais eh 0is )aunny sta(t b(in)in ehs ai()un tae s.hool /i( p(ote.tion? Ah telt u4 eh3d bette( no shoot 4a /u.1in du)- o( ah3d shoot hi44ates o( no? C(opley )its bo(ed o( /o()ets- n lea+es the (in)? 6ut 4uh =a hus tae 0ha.1 u4 0hin eh t(ies tae (ide :heena up the le) 0hin she )its up tae )o tae the la++y? :he3s lau)hin n sayin I Git doon C(opleyG Git doonG :heena p(obably disnae e+en 1en 0hat it is thit the du)3s daein10*

o( 4ibbe she does? =uh =a does but- n she3s th(ashin u4 0i he( slippe( n it ta1es a)es be/o(e eh lits )o? Ah34 lau)hin li1e /u.1 so she )ies 4e a .latte(in n a0- 0i he( hand- (i)ht a.(oass the side ay 4a heid? It 0is a beauty- n ah /elt 4a ea(s pop? I It3s no bloody /unny- she s.(ea4s at ays? It3s th(obbin 0hai(e she3s thu4ped 4a heid n ah34 still lau)hin- e+en i/ ah /eel a0 diEEy n dee/ in one ea(? I ,hit 0is that /i(H I That3s you teasin the du)- And(e0 Gallo0ay? Di3ll hu+ the pe(( ani4al 0ild- she says? A0 aye? Ah 2ist (ubs 4a heid n ah pi.1s up the pape( at the telly pa)e? The ea(d(u4 2ist so(tay pops ba.1 n ah 1in hea( /ine a)ain? ,hat ah hate 4aist aboot :unday ni)ht is thit thu+ )oat The /oc3ford .iles oan the 66C n The )rofessionals on :T8- (i)ht at the sa4e /u.1in ti4e? Ta1in the /u.1in pish these .unts- ye thin1 they .ould plan bette(? Ah /eel 4uh =a sittin doon beside ays oan the .ou.h n she3s pittin he( ai(4 (oond ays n )iein ays a hu) n

(ubbin 4a heid n it3s li1e she3s nea(ly )(eetin? I :o((y da(lin ? ? ? so((y 4a 0ee da(lin- she sais? I It3s a0(i)ht =a- it ni+i( hu(t- beha+e yi(selG ah lau)hs- but ah34 nea(ly )(eetin n a0? It3s li1e 0i he( daein that- ah34 tu(nin intae a 0ee bai(n a)ain? I :o4eti4es it no easy /o( 4e- son ? ? ? she loo1s at 4e- I ??? 1enH Ah3+e )oat a lu4p in 4a th(oat n ah .annae say no0t- so ah 2ist nod? I Di( a )ood boy- And(e0- al0ays ha+e been? Dou3+e been nae p(oble4 tae 4e at a0? Ah lo+e ye- son- she sobs a)ain? I A0 =a ? ? ? Ah )ies he( a hu) ba.1? :heena .o4es ben /ae the la++y n 4e n 4uh =a pill a0ay /ae ea.h othe( oan the .ou.h li1e 0i( a youn) .ouple hu+in a sly sno) n hu+in tae 5ui.1ly sit up st(ai)ht? I ,hat3s 0(on)H :heena )oes- a0 /ea(t? I It3s a0(i)ht da(lin- she says? I Jist hu+in a 0ee blethe(? Co4e and sit doon oan the .ou.h 0i us- she pats the seat ne9t tae he(- but :heena sits doon oan the /lai( at he( /eet and =a3s )oat an a(4 (oond 4e n one (oond :heena- st(o1in he( hai(- sayin da/t thin)s li1eF I =a 0ee bai(ns ??? n ah /eel ni.e but e4ba((assed at the sa4e ti4e- .ause ah34 a bit /u.1in auld /o( this- but- 0ell- she3s upset- so ah say no0t- n :heena3s )oat one ay he( hands n she3s hudin it in baith he(s n ah34 )led that 4a 4ates .annae see 4e no0? ,i settle doon tae the telly n the bell )oes e/ti( a bit n it3s Ca(l?
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I ,ant tae .o4e (oond 4a bit n 0at.h The )rofessionalsH eh as1s- ehs eyes a0 ea)e(? Ah loo1 at u4- so(tay hesitatin /i( a 0ee se.ond? Eh 1in tell that ah dinnae 0ant tae .o4e? 6ut ah dinnae 0ant u4 thin1in it3s be.ause ah dinnae 0ant tae lea+e 4uh =a (i)ht no0 thou)h? :o ah s0it.hes it ontae Te((y n this e/ti(noon? I That Te((y3s a 0ide .unt? Eh3s )ittin ehs /u.1in 4ooth bu(st? I Aye- Ca(l sais- a0 0ea(y? Eh 1ens that Te((y n 4e a(e the best ay 4ates- e+en i/ 0i )it oan ea.h othe(3s tits so4eti4es? I C34on tae 4ines n 0at.h The )rofessionals. # A0(i)ht- ah )oes? Ah 0anted tae 0at.h The /oc3ford .iles 0i =a n :heena- but /u.1 it- it3ll be )ood tae )it oot the hoose? Ah tell 4uh =a ah34 )aun (oond tae Ca(l3s- /eelin a 0ee bit )uilty aboot lea+in he( n :heena- a bit a010a(d aboot no steyin? 6ut she3ll be a0(i)htG It3s 2ist 0o4en /i( ye- as 4a An.le Donald says? =uh =a3s /ine aboot it but- she ni+i( bothe(s i/ it3s Ca(l o( 6illy3s but she doesnae li1e ays )aun doon tae Te((y3s? :o4eti4es 0hin 0e )o tae Te((y3s tae dae )lue o( hu+ a be++y- ah tell 4uh =a 0i 0i( doon at Ca(l3s o( 6illy3s n it3s 2ist .ide(? Ah thin1 4uh =a n =(s 6i((ell n =(s E0a(t (eally 1en that 0e3(e doon at Te((y3s but? :o 0e )o (oond tae Ca(l3s bit? Ah li1e it at Ca(l3s .ause it ey0is /eels 0a(4e( than in ou( hoose- but ah thin1 that3s 2ist .ause ay the /itted .ai(pits thit )o 0a0 tae 0a0? It )ies ye the /eelin thit it3s 4ai( sealed? Li1es in oo(s 0e3+e 2ist )oat the auld .ai(pits thit 4a un.le hud- n they dinnae )o a0 the 0ey tae the 0a0? Thi(3s ne0 /u(nitu(e n a0- so(t ay bi) .o4/y .hai(s in a li)ht 0id /(a4e thit ye 2ist sin1 intae? Ca(l says thit they .o4e /ae :0eden? I Aye- aye- he(e3s the othe( /itba hooli)anG Ca(l3s auld 4an sais- but eh3s 2ist 2o1in? That3s the thin) aboot Ca(l3s auld boy? eh ey0is hus a .(a.1 0i ye n eh disnae )o a0 4u4py li1e othe( auld .unts? I No us- =( E0a(t- that3s 2ist Te((y- eh Ca(lH ah )oes- ah .ouldnae (esist that yin? I That laddie3s )aunny )it ehsel intae bi) t(ouble one ay these days- you 4a(1 4a 0o(ds- =(s E0a(t )oes? Ca(l loo1s at he( and says- I Ah telt ye be/o(e =a- it 0isnae Te((y3s /ault? It 0is no0t tae dae 0i hi4 (eally? That3s one thin) aboot Ca(lF eh ey0is ba.1s e+e(ybody up? I Ah sa0 u4 oan the telly- 0al1in (oond that pit.h 0i a bi)- da/t )(in oan ehs /a.e? Pe(( Ali.e 4ust3+e been a//(onted- =(s E0a(t says- headin oa/ intae the 1it.hen?
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=( E0a(t shouts e/ti( he(- I It 0is a0 a bit silly- but a0 the boy 0is daein 0is lau)hin? ,hin they 4a1e a la0 a)ainst that then 0i( (i)ht up the :0anee- eh says- but =(s E0a(t3s no (esponded? Ah lo0e(s 4a +oi.e n loo1s o0e( at hi4? I Did you e+e( )it intae bothe( at /itba- =( E0a(tH ah )oes? De 1in say they 1ind ay thin)s tae Ca(l3s /aithe(- e+en thou)h ah e9pe.t hi4 tae say- 3Dinnae be bloody .hee1y- a0 that so(t ay thin) didnae happen in 4a day?3 Eh 2ist s4iles at 4e and 0in1s? I A0 aye- that3s al0ays )one oan- eh sais- I youse thin1 ye in+ented it a0but yis dinnae 1en the hal/ ay it? I Is it Ay( Anited that Cil4a(no.1 batte(H ah as1? Eh sha1es ehs heid n lau)hs? I ,ell- Ay( n Cillie a(e (i+als- aye- but they a(enae that o/ten playin in the sa4e lea)ue? :o 4aist o3 the (eal bothe( doon the(e used tae be at the bi) 2unio( )a4es? Ah 0is a Da(+el 4an and in the .up )a4es a)ainst the li1es o3 Cil0hinnin) o( Cu4no.1 thi( 0is al0ays bothe( be/o(e- du(in) n a/te( the )a4e? It so4eti4es )ot +e(y- +e(y +i.ious as 0ell? I/ they had the nu4be(s- ye 0ould ne+e( ha+e hea(d o3 7an)e(s +e(sus Celti.G

=(s E0a(t3s 4ade so4e tea- n she b(in)s it th(ou)h oan a t(ay? I Kuiet Dun.an- ye shouldnae be en.ou(a)in they laddiesG :he3s lau)hin thou)h? =( E0a(t )(ins- li1e he3s 0indin he( up? I It3s 2ist so.ial histo(y- that3s a0? Ah 4ean- ah dunno 0hat it3s li1e no0- but they 0e(e all 4inin to0ns? The 0o(1 0as ha(d n thi( 0is a lot o/ po+e(ty? People had to hu+ an outlet? It 0is p(ide in yi( toon o( +illa)e- in 0hae ye a(e- 0hai(e ye .o4e /ae? I ,ell they dinnae need an outlet? Thi3ll end up in the bloody 2ail- that3s 0he(e they3ll end up- she 0a(ned? Ca(l s4iles at 4e and ah t(y no tae loo1 ba.1- soas no tae annoy =(s E0a(t? Ah 1en ye shouldnae (eally say thin)s aboot yi( 4ate3s 4a- but ah (eally li1e =(s E0a(t? :he3s )oat ba((y tits? It 4a1es ays (eally /eel asha4edbut ah3+e hud a 0an1 aboot he( be/o(e? The )rofessionals .a4e oan n 0e settled doon tae 0at.h it? Ah 1ept loo1in o0e( at =(s E0a(t3s le)s- the 0ey she 1i.1ed oa/ they slippe(s? :he .at.hes 4e n s4iles- n ah )its a bea4e( n loo1s ba.1 at the s.(een? The )rofessionals a(e ba((y? Ah3d be Doyle n Ca(l 0id be 6odie- e+en i/ Doyle3s )oat hai( li1e Te((y? Doyle? Pol4ont? The 1ni/e? The boy /ae Cle(ie? Ah loo1 ba.1 tae the s.(een? E+en thou)h it 0is )(eat- ah .ould still /eel that si.1- d(eaded :unday ni)ht /eelin settlin in- 0o(se thin e+e(?

;o Man of the

ouse

,hin ah 0a1e up ah34 a bit happie( thou)h- in /a.t it3s the /i(st ti4e in yon1s thit ah3+e been loo1in /o(0a(d tae the s.hool oan =onday? Ah /u.1in hate the pla.e- n ah .annae 0ait till su44e( until ah34 si9teen n ah 1in )it the /u.1 oot ay it? They tell ays ah should stey oan- they say thit ah .ould be )ood i/ ah applied (nasel 4ai(? A0 ah li1e but- is F(en.h? I/ they3d lit ays dae F(en.h a0 the ti4e- o( 4ibbe anothe( lan)ua)e li1e Ge(4an o( :panish- ah3d ni+i( be oot ay s.hool? The (est is shite? Ah3d li1e tae )o tae F(an.e tae li+e one day- n hu+ a F(en.h bi(d- .ause the lassies o0e( thai(e a(e beauti/ul? Ah34 0antin tae hea( aboot the 4at.h but ah34 no 0antin tae hea( aboot ootside Clouds? It3s p(obably blo0n o+e( by no0 thou)h? CloudsG 6lo0n o+e( by no0G 6ut it 0o((ies ays 0hin ah thin1 aboot it? :o4eti4es ah /eel thit thin)s a(e a0(i)ht- then ah )it this shudde( thit nea(ly stoaps 4a he(t? =uh =a 1ens thit so4ethin)3s up 0i ays? Ah /ind it ha(d tae 4eet he( eyes? Ah34 up (i)ht a0ay n oot ea(ly- .allin (oond /i( 6illy n Ca(l /i(st- 0hi.h ni+i( usually happens? ,i )its tae the s.hool n it3s =onday asse4bly in the Gy4 Hall? =.Donald- the heidie- he3s sittin up thai(e on the plat/o(4- loo1in a0 )(a+e n se(ious? Thi(3s a loat ay .hatte(in 0hi.h stoaps as soon as eh )ets up? I It3s indeed un/o(tunate that 0e ha+e to sta(t ou( 0ee1 on a sou( note? =( 6la.1- eh says- noddin) tae 6la.1ie 0hae stands up ne9t- settin oa/ anothe( buEE ay 0hispe(s a(oond the hall? The .unt loo1s (eally an)(y? Thi(s (id st(ips doon ea.h side ay ehs /a.e? Eh .lea(s ehs th(oat n 0i a0 shut up a)ain? I In all 4y yea(s o/ tea.hin) e9pe(ien.e- I ha+e ne+e(- e+e( been asha4ed to say that I 0as a 4e4be( o/ this s.hool ? ? ? I 7ad)e ni+i( 0ent tae this s.hool- 0hat3s eh oan abootH 6illy 0hispe(s tae ays? I ??? until I 0itnessed so4e si.1enin) beha+iou( at the /ootball )a4e at Easte( 7oad on :atu(day? The(e 0as a )(oup o/ youths- ob+iously hellBbent on .ausin) t(ouble- 0ho d(a))ed the na4e o/ this
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? ? ? o/ this 0hole .ity- this 0hole .ity- eh s0in)s ehs ai(4s 0ide- I (i)ht th(ou)h the di(t- eh 4oans? As usual- the .unt stoaps /i( e//e.t? E+e(ybody3s heids )o doon- but it3s only a /e0 soo1y- snobby 0ee .unts n one o( t0o lassies thit hu+ hun) thu4 in sha4e@ 0i 2ist aboot e+e(ybody else it3s tae stoap u4 seein thit 0i( a0 aboot tae bu(st oot lau)hin? I And it pains 4e to say this- eh .ai((ies oan- I but so4e o/ those in+ol+ed 0e(e pupils at this s.hool? One o/ the4 is 1no0n to 4any o/ you? He le/t last su44e(? A /ool o/ a boy 1no0n as Te(en.e La0son? The(e 0e(e a lot o/ sti/led )i))les? Ah 0ished Te((y 0is the(e tae hea( this? A /ool o/ a boyG That3s Te((yG I The othe( youn) idiot 0as not 1no0n to 4e? 6ut the(e 0as one thu)- st(uttin) as boldly as you li1e- bein) /(o)4a(.hed by poli.e o//i.e(s a(ound the t(a.1 /o( the tele+ision .a4e(as- /o( the %hole %orld to seeG One boy /(o4 this schoolG 6la.1ie3s /u.1in t(e4blin no0 0i ehs an)e(? I :tep /o(0a(d =a(tin Gentle4anG ,hat do you ha+e to say /o( you(sel/H Ah .ouldnae see =a(ty Gentle4an at /i(st? Ah did see DoEo Doyle )(innin /ae the side- ehs ne0ly sha+en heid n ehs 4ad eyes? Then ah sees Hillie(- the PE boy- si)nal tae Gentle4an tae lea+e the line- n ah .an see u4 no0? Eh3s no easy tae 4iss?

I :ti.1 yi( /u.1in s.hool up yi( hole- ya (ad)eG Gentle4an said- as eh stepped oot the (o0? Thi( 0is a loat ay lau)hte( n oooohhs .o4in /ae the (o0s? In /a.t it 0is dead li1e 0hin 4uh An.le Donald used tae ta1e us tae the panto4i4e in the Cin)s at Toll.(oss- tae see :tanley 6a9te( n 7onnie Co(bett in Cinderella n that? Hillie( t(ied tae )(ab ehs ai(4- bit =a(ty b(ushed u4 oa/ n sta(ed u4 doon? The .unt shat it? I This is the 4entality ??? do you seeG Do you seeG 6la.1ie s0eeps ehs hands /o(0a(d tae0a(ds Gent- 0ho3s 0al1in tae the doo( n )iein the .unt the 8s? I This is the 4entality ? ? ? this is 0hat 0e3(e up a)ainstG ,e3(e t(yin) to tea.hG ,e3(e t(yin) to teeeaat.h ? ? ? 6la.1ie s5ua01ed /ae the sta)e? Gentle4an tu(ned (oond tae the sta)e n shouted so 4u.h that eh nea(ly .o0ped o+e(- (o.1in /o(0a(d oan ehs taes? I FACC OFF- DA 7ADGEG :TICC DI7 FACCIN JE:A: AP DI7 E7:EG I DOA3LL NE8E7 :ET FOOT IN THI: :CHOOL AGAING 6la.1ie ho0ls? =ai( ooohs- 4ai( lau)hte(? The best /u.1in panto any .unt he(e3s e+e( seen- that 0is /i( su(e? I Dinnae /u.1in 0ell 0o((y aboot that- ya .untG Too /u.1in (i)ht
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ah3ll noG Gentle4an (oa(ed- then tu(ned ehs ba.1 n 0al1ed oot /i( )ood? A lassie .alled =a(2o(y Phillips sta(ted )aun intae a lau)hin /it n bit he( /in)e( tae stoap he(sel/? 6illy n Ca(l 0i( nea(ly )(eetin? Ah )oes- I A )entle4an- but no a s.hola(? No no0 any0ey- n the .unts sta(t lau)hin n it sp(eads doon the line? 6a((yG 6la.1ie3s (abbittin oan n oan- but eh3s oa/ ehs /u.1in heid n =.Donald3s tellin the .unt tae sit doon? Then 0i( dis4issed? It3s a0 )aun (oond the s.hool- e+e(y .unt3s aboot 0ettin thi(sels? Gentle4an 0is (i)ht tae dae 0hat eh did- that .unt 6la.1ie 0is oot ay o(de(? It 0is ootside ay s.hool ooi(s@ /u.1 all tae dae 0i hi4? The 0ey ah see it is thit 0e should3+e )oat a /u.1in 4edal /i( standin up tae they .unts? 6it Gentle4an 0id be lea+in the s.hool in a 4onth o( so any0ey- so it 4a1es nae /u.1in odds i/ they e9pel u4 o( no? Lu.1y .unt )ittin li/ted .ause that3s hi4 o//s1i /o( )ood? That3s 0hat 0ould be )(eat aboot )aun tae 0o(1@ yi( no )aunny )it hassled 2ist /i( /i)htin at the /u.1in /itba? De )it t(eated li1e a 0ee bai(n he(e? ,hen ah )ets ba.1 ha4e ah )oes doon tae the .hippy /o( 4uh =a? Ah34 steyin in the ni)ht n 0at.hin the telly? ,i ey0is )o tae the .hippy oan =onday .ause 4uh =a disnae /inish he( .leanin 2oab till late n she3s nae ti4e tae 4a1e so4ethin)? Ah )its a /ish suppe(- t0o pi.1led onions- a pi.1led e))- a (oll n a .an ay Co1e n ah34 sittin 0at.hin the ne0s? Ah3+e 2ist /inished eatin 0hin thi(3s a 1no.1 oan the doo(? =a )its it n ah hea(s the +oi.es? It3s 4en3s +oi.es? He(s is a0 hi)h- thai(es is lo0? It3s the polis? Ah 2ist 1en? It 4ust be so4ethin tae dae 0i the auld 4an? It hus tae be? Eh 0is last hea(d ay doon in En)land? 6i(4in)ha4- o( so4e0hai(e nea( thai(e? Then they .o4e in? =uh =a3s loo1in at ays- eh( /a.e a0 0hite 0i sho.1? The polis u( sta(in at 4e n a0- but thi( .oupons loo1 li1e thu+ been .a(+ed ootay stane? It3s /i( 4e? Ah .annae say no0t? I/ it3s /i( 4e- ah .annae say no0t? =uh =a3s )(eetin- pleadin- bit they say they need tae ta1e ays doon tae the station? I It3s a 4ista1e =a- it3ll a0 be so(ted oot? Ah3ll be ba.1 in nae ti4e- ah say? :he loo1s at ays n sha1es he( heid? :he3s in (eal pain? I Honest- =a- ah plead? It3s nae )ood- .ause she3s 4indin
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ay the 1ni/e? :he 0ent oan and oan at ays tae )it (id ay it- n ah telt he(- p(o4ised he( thit ah3d /lun) it a0ay? I Co4e on- And(e0- son- a .op sais? Ah )et up? Ah .annae loo1 at 4uh =a? :heena3s pattin C(opley? Ah t(y tae 0in1 at he( but she3s 1eepin he( eyes doon? :he3s 1eepin thu4 doon in sha4e- li1e the soo1y 1ids in asse4bly? One ay the .ops loo1s a (i)ht .unt- bit the othe( one3s a0(i)ht- eh3s tal1in aboot the /itba n that as 0e )it intae the .a(? Ah34 t(yin no tae say too 4u.h- in .ase thi( t(yin tae )it ays tal1in soas ah3ll shop so4e .unt by 4ista1e? =( E0a(t3s .o4in doon the (oad in ehs o+e(alls 0i ehs ba) /o( ehs pie.e? Eh sees 4e in the .a(- n eh3s .o4in o0e(- but ah .annae loo1 at hi4? Ah /eel thit ah3+e lit e+e(ybody doon? Ah34 )led 0hin 0e speed oa/- soas eh .annae )it ehsel in+ol+ed? Eh3d t(y tae help- ah 1en eh 0id- n it 0id 2ist e4ba((ass ays 4ai(? Ah dinnae thin1 the .ops e+en seen u4? It /eels li1e the end ay the 0o(ld? Doon the station they ta1e ays intae a (oo4 n lea+e ays thai(? It3s )oat t0o o(an)e plasti. .hai(s 0i the bla.1 4etal le)s li1e at the s.hool- a )(een Fo(4i.aBtopped table n yellayB.(ea4 0a0s? Ah dinnae 1en ho0 lon) u4 thai(e /i(? :ee4s li1e ooi(s? A0 ah 1in dae is thin1 aboot :eti(day ni)ht- aboot the boy3s /a.e- aboot Pol4ont@ aboot bein da/t enou)h tae pill the 1ni/e- stupid enou)h tae )ie u4 it- 4ad enou)h tae ta1e it ba.1? ,hat the /u.1 0is ah thin1in abootH Th(ee ti4es stupid in the spa.e ay aboot as 4any se.onds? The t0o polis .o4e ba.1 intae the (oo4 0i this othe( )uy in plain .lathes? Eh3s )oat a )(ey suit oan- n a lon)

/a.e li1e a ho(se3s? Thi(3s this 0a(t oan ehs nose- n ah .annae stoap loo1in at it? It 4a1es ays thin1 aboot 4a plu1e n ho0 ah shouldnae hu+ 0ent tae Clouds 0i a spot? =a thoats stoap n /(eeEe inside 4uh heid 0hin the boy pills 4a 1ni/e oot ay this ba)? I Is this you( 1ni/eH eh as1s 4e? Ah 2ist sh(u)- bit ah34 sha1in inside? I ,e3ll be ta1in) /in)e(p(ints /(o4 you in a 0ee 4inute- And(e0- the ni.e .op says tae 4e? I ,e also ha+e 0itnesses tae say that you had one li1e it? Thi(3s this /ly .(a0lin up the 0a0 behind the boy? I And 0e3+e )oat 0itnesses tae say that you 0e(e (unnin) /(o4 the s.ene o/ the assault and othe(s to testi/y that they sa0 ye put
11)

so4ethin) intae the (ubbish bin 0he(e 0e /ound the 1ni/e- the .unty .op says- d(u44in the table? I ,hat 0e3(e t(yin) to say And(e0- the plainB.lothed )uy says- I is you .an 4a1e thin)s easie( on you(sel/ by tellin) us the t(uth? ,e 1no0 that it3s you( 1ni/e? Did you )i+e the 1ni/e to anybody else that ni)htH It 0is Pol4ont? Ah dinnae e+en 1en the boy3s na4e? Pol4ont? It3s li1e eh 0is a )host? Pol4ont did it? They3ll /ind that oot? They3ll see that? I Na0 ??? ah sais? The plain .lathes boy 0i the 0a(t sta(ts a)ain? I Ah 1no0 yi( /aithe(- And(e0? Aye- he3s done so4e silly thin)s in his ti4e- but he3s no a bad 4an? He3d ne+e( )et in+ol+ed in anythin) li1e this? Thi(3s no 0i.1edness in hi4- and I don3t thin1 the(e is in you? I sa0 the laddie that 0as slashed by that 1ni/e? It to(e a0 the ne(+es in his /a.e- he3ll be pa(alysed doon the side ay his /a.e /o( li/e? I thin1 thi( 0is 0i.1edness in 0hoe+e( did that? Thin1 aboot 0hat you( dad 0ould thin1 ay that? Thin1 aboot yi( 4othe(- son- 0hat3s she )aunny /eel li1eH =uh =a? I On.e 4o(e And(e0- did you )i+e that 1ni/e to anybody that ni)htH De ni+i( )(ass? The /ly3s still thai(- eh3s .li4bin a)ain? I And(e0H The ha(d .op says? I Na0? The boy 0i the 0a(t loo1s at ays and bla0s oot so4e ai(? I On you( o0n head be it? Ah34 a 4u)- ah34 )aun doon but thi(3s no0t ah 1in dae? De dinnae shop nae .unt? 6ut su(ely so4e .unt3ll tell thu4 it 0is Pol4ont? Thi3ll no lit 4e dae ti4e- no Doyle n that- no the (est ay the boys? They3ll tell Pol4ontthey3ll )it it pit (i)ht? The /ly Eoo4s oa/ the 0a0? Ah34 no )aunny be the 4an ay the hoose any lon)e(? Thi( isnae a 4an ay the hoose no0? =uh =a? A0 /u.1- 0hat3s 4uh =a )aunny /u.1in daeH

Carl ("art. &e8 (du'ation
I These thin)s 2ust happen in thei( ain ti4e son- 4y auld 4an said th(ou)h a blue haEe ay 7e)al s4o1eob+iously e4ba((assed? This 0isnae his s.ene- but 4y 4othe( had insisted that he sat 4e doon n tal1ed tae 4e? :he3d seen that ah 0as 3a0 an9ious and dep(essed3 as she put it? 6ut this 0as pu()ato(y tae 4y pe(( /aithe(? Ah3d seldo4 seen hi4 lost /o( 0o(ds- but this 0as daein it a0(i)ht? These things 5ust ha!!en in their ain time. Just the ne0s ah 0anted- Dad- than1s /o( that? Ah didnae need tae say- 3A0 aye- n 0hat ti4e is that then3- .ause it 0as 0(itten a0 o0e( 4a /a.e? He 1ne0 it 0as bullshit- ah 1ne0 it 0as bullshit? Thin)s dinnae happen- ye hu+ tae ma3e the4 happen? The 5uestion 0as- and 0e baith 1ent itF 3Ho0 the /u.1 dae ye 4a1e the4 happenH3 I Ah 4ean- he .ou)hed- no0 loo1in) (eally distu(bed as the s4o1e .lea(ed /ae 4a eyes- I ye )et a0 that 1ind ay stu// at s.hool? Ah 4ean- 0e )oat no0t li1e that 0hen 0e 0e(e at s.hool? It 0is /u.1in useless thou)hF thei( se9 edu.ation lessons? Galla)he( /ae :.ien.e sho0in ye a0 they dia)(a4s ay .o.1s n ba0s .ut in hal/- n the insides ay lassies3 /annies@ .anals n tubes n unbo(n bai(ns n a0 that so(tay stu//? :tu// that 0ould put ye oa/ hu+in a (ide? It 4ade 4e /eel s5uea4ish@ the 0ey a lassie3s tit loo1s insideli1e it3s /ill ay sea0eed? Ah used tae li3e tits? Ah do li1e tits- and ah 0ant tae 1eep li1in the4@ ah dinnae 0ant tae thin1 ay the4 as bein /ill ay sea0eed? This is the 0o(st ti4e e+e(? A0 ah 0ant tae 1en isF HO, DAE AH GIT =A HOLE .ause it3s d(i+in 4e /u.1in 4entalG Then e/ti( the slide sho0 n the ad+e(t /o( (ubbe( 2ohnnies they tell yeF )o tae a tea.he( you /eel ye .an tal1 tae i/ ye hu+ any p(oble4s? Ah
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should )o tae 6la.1ie? E/ti( a0- he3s the yin ah3+e )oat 4aist .onne.tion 0i? Ah34 al0ays )ittin sent tae his

o//i.e /i( the 0eb? That 0ould be (ad)e? E9.use 4e si(- ho0 dae ah )o aboot )ittin 4a holeH Did Jesus )et his hole- o( did eh die a +i()in li1e =a(yH Did God sha) =a(y and i/ so did that 4ean that he b(o1e one ay the ten .o44and4ents 3thou shall not .o+et thy nei)hbou(3s 0i/e3 o( is the(e a di//e(ent (ule /o( hi4H Fu.1in ba((y that 0ould be- ah dinnae thin1G ,hat ye 0ant tae 1en isF ; < Ho0 dae ah .hat up a bi(dH ;2< Ho0 dae ah )et her ho(ny- 0hat steps dae ah ta1eH Dae ah )o /i( the tit /i(st- o( /eel the /annyH Dae a sti.1 4a /in)e( up it and bu(st the hy4en- li1e the .unts a yea( abo+e 4e 0ho3+e ob+iously ne+e( had a (ide in thei( li/e tell ye- o( is the(e anothe( 0ey ay )aun aboot itH ;'< Do I pee 0hen 4y .o.13s up a bi(d3s /anny o( 2ust shoot spun1 li1e 0hen I34 ha+in a 0an1H Ah hope it3s the se.ond .ause it3s ha(d tae pish 0i a ha(d yin? ;!< ,hat does the bi(d dae du(in a0 thisH It3s 2ist soas ye 1en 0hat tae e9pe.t? ;&< Do I 0ea( a (ubbe( 2ohnnyH ;I/ so- nae p(oble4- I3+e sta(ted t(yin) the4 on so ah 1en ho0 tae /it the4?< ;"< ,hat aboot 8DH No 2ist o//ay /eelin a lassie3s tit- su(ely? A0(i)ht- Galla)he(3s se9 edu.ation .lasses did .o4e in a bit use/ulF .lea(ed that yin up? Ah 0is stupid as /u.1 tae (epeat that nonsense at Clouds that Donny .a4e oot 0i at Tyne.astle the othe( 0ee1? O/ .ou(se- 6i((ell n Gaily )ied ays nae b(e1 at a0? And 6la.1ie3s )aunny sayF ,ell =( E0a(t- I34 )lad you .a4e to 4e to dis.uss those 4atte(s? I thin1 the best 0ay /o(0a(d /o( us to so(t out this p(oble4 is /o( you to .o4e ho4e 0ith 4e 0he(e 4y 0i/e- a /o(4e( pa)eB th(ee )i(l- and 4u.h youn)e( than 4e- 0ill sho0 you the (opes? N ah3d say- I .ouldnae possibly =( 6la.1 ? ? ? si(? ,ell- you .ould do 4e a )ood tu(n- =( E0a(t? On.e 4y 0i/e3s sho0ed you 0hat to do- 0ould you be so 1ind as to (etu(n the /a+ou( and tea.h 4y dau)hte(H :he3s a)es 0ith you- and she3s a +i()in? And she loo3s absolutely nothing li3e me, in /a.t they say that she bea(s a st(i1in) (ese4blan.e to Debbie Ha((y o/ 6londie ? ? ? not that I /ollo0 su.h silly nonsense as pop 4usi.? I do hope you 0ill .onside( 4y (e5uest- =( E0a(t- as I 0ould also be p(epa(ed to 4a1e it 0o(th you( 0hile in e9penses?
11*

O1ay then si(- that3s )(eat by 4e? Good 4an- Ca(l? And let3s dispense 0ith this 3=( 6la.13 and 3si(3 nonsense? Call 4e Cunt Featu(es? A/te( all0e3(e both 4en o/ the 0o(ld? O1ay- Cunt Featu(es? Na0- it doesnae see4 li1ely at a0? :o ah as1ed 4a /aithe(- 0ho 1ept loo1in sha1y and 4utte(ed so4ethin) aboot ho0 ah should be .li4bin t(ees n thin)s li1e that? Then eh .o4posed ehsel and )a+e 4e a tal1 aboot bein .a(e/ul aboot p(e)nan.ies and 8D? Then- /o( the )(and /inale- he said- I ,hen ye /ind a ni.e lassie ye li1eyi3ll 1en the ti4e3s (i)ht? =a auld 4an3s ad+i.eF /ind a ni.e lassie n t(eat he( (i)ht? Li1e a0 4a auld 4an3s ad+i.e- ehs ten .o44and4ents- it husnae (eally done ays that 4u.h )ood? Thi(3s no0t aboot )ittin a lassie- 2ist aboot no hittin lassies? Ah 1en no tae hit a lassie? ,hat ah 0ant tae 1en is ho0 tae (ide yin? =a auld 4an3s useless (ules? Ehs patte(3s 2ust )oat ays intae bothe( at s.hool- 0i the li1es o/ 6la.1ie- /o( standin) up /o( 4asel and t(yin tae ba.1 up othe( .unts thit dinnae than1 ye /i( it? And the auld 4an3s tense .ause one i4po(tant bit ay ad+i.e eh )ied ays disnae 4at.h up 0i the othe( thin)s eh says? One ay ehs (ules is thit ye ey0is ba.1 up yi( 4ates? Fine? Then eh says ye ne+e( )(ass anybody? ,ell- ho0 1in ye dae baith 0i GailyH Ho0 1in ye ba.1 hi4 up 0ithoot )(assin oan Pol4ontH Cause Pol4ont3s no )aunny )ie ehsel up? Ah .annae 4a1e u4 dae it- no e+en 6illy o( Te((y- no( Topsy and the boys /ae the s.he4e that ah )o tae He(ts 0i- oan the L?F?- e+en they3ll no 4ess 0i the li1es ay Doyle n Gent? Espe.ially no /o( anothe( Hibby li1e Gaily- e+en i/ eh is 0ell li1ed? Doyle3s /a4ily- thi( no 2ist ha(d .unts- thi( )an)ste(s? Thi(3s a di//e(en.e? A bi) di//e(en.e? Thi( still .allin) :eti(day the ni)ht ay the lon) 1ni+es? Espe.ially Te((y- t(yin tae .ash in oan Gaily supposedly stabbin the boy- n .onne.tin it 0i hi4 )ittin li/ted- soas that a0 the 0ideos in the a(ea pit t0o n t0o the)ithe( n 4a1e ten? Ah 1en the 0ey his 4ind 0o(1sF usin ehs 4ate3s 4is/o(tune tae bla0 ehsel up? Cunt? O/ .ou(se ah sa0 no0t that 0ent oan 0i Gaily doon Clouds last 0ee1end? Ah3d le/t 0i :ab(ina lon) be/o(e the bothe( sta(ted? Te((y 4ust ha+e seen so4ethin)- o( 6illy o( one ay the othe( boys?
119

:ab(inaF ah 0ant tae 1no0 0hat tae dae aboot he( and ah 0ant tae 1no0 0hat tae dae aboot Gaily? E+e(ythin)3s )ittin .o4pli.ated? A0 the auld 4an .an dae is t(y tae ba( ays /ae )aun up tae Clouds? No that eh said so 4u.h in 0o(ds- eh 2ist said- I Co4e and play so4e (e.o(ds- at the .lub- son- a bit ay dee2ayin)?

Eh 0is ne+e( 1een oan 4e dee2ayin) 0i u4 up the Ta(tan Club be/o(e? The nu4be( ay ti4es ah as1ed u4F the nu4be( ay ti4es he said na0? The auld 4an n auld lady hea(d aboot the bothe( that 0ee1end- 0i the /itba and then at the dis.o? Ah (e.1on they thin1 it3s a0 Te((y3s /ault- 0i hi4 )ettin done at the 4at.h? 6ut 0e 0e(e ha(dly 0i Te((y that ni)ht? 6illy thin1s thit Gaily 2ust lost it- e/ti( that bi(d 1?b?3d u4? 6ut it 0is eithe( Pol4ont o( Doyle that slashed the )uy? De/o? Gaily 0idnae- eh3s no )oat that in u4? Eh stabbed that boy Glen in the hand at the s.hool- n that 0is da/tbut it3s di//e(ent /ae slashin so4e .unt3s /a.e? No0 Gally3s )aunny be pit a0ay? It3s ehs bi(thday oan Ch(ist4as day? Ah 4ind 0hin ah used tae as1 i/ eh )oat t0o sets ay p(esents- one /i( ehs Ch(ist4as n one /i( ehs bi(thday? No0 eh3s )aunny )et no0t? The 0ee 4an? Eh3s the best pal ye .ould e+e( hu+ n a0? =a auld 4an? Find a ni.e lassie eh says? Easy? Li1e :ab(ina- and e+e(y lassie ah tal1 tae- nae bothe(- but 0hat ne9tH ,hat happens doon he(e- doon belo0H Ah /elt li1e sayin that ah /ind a ni.e lassie ah li1e at least /u.1in ten ti4es a day? It does 4e nae )ood at a0ah3+e still no hud it? =aybe ye 2ust ha+e tae /i(e in? 6ut i/ ah34 no seein :ab(ina this 0ee1end- /u.1 1no0s ho0 ah3ll dae that?

Ma)e Me &6ile 0Co6e 52 and &ee Me1
:he3s a (eally ni.e lassie- a b(illiant lassie? I/ only ah /an.ied he( a bit 4ai(? Te((y on.e said that ye .annae /u.1 a pe(sonality- e/ti( Gaily had said that this bi(d at s.hool hud a ni.e yin? ,e had 4et in the (e.o(d shop at /i(st- Golden Oldies at Hay4a(1et? :he 0is as1in the boy i/ eh hud a .opy ay that auld :te+e Ha(ley and Co.1ney 7ebel son)- Come '! and ee "e, "a3e "e mile. I :o((y- eh said?
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Ah dunno 0hy- but ah 0ent up tae he( n said- I That3s the best (e.o(d e+e( 4ade? :he loo1ed at 4e /i( a bit li1e she 0is )aunny tell 4e tae /u.1 o//? Then she said- I Aye- 4a b(othe( had itbut eh3s 4o+ed oot the hoose n eh3s ta1in his .opy 0i hi4? Eh3ll no )ies it- she said tae 4e- (aisin) they eyeb(o0s ay he(s- so /ine- so/t n /ai(? I Go up tae the :0eet Inspi(ation in Toll.(oss- ah telt he(- I they3+e de/initely )oat it up thai(e- that3s a .e(t? Ah 4ind ay seein it the othe( 0ee1- ah lied? I Ah3ll )it ye up thai(e i/ ye li1e- ah telt he(? I O1ay- she s4iled ba.1 at 4e and ah /elt a 0ee PING inside? ,hen she s4iled he( 4ooth 0ent pu(e .(es.entBshaped and totally .han)ed the shape ay he( /a.e? :o4eti4es she loo1ed (eally lo+ely? The p(oble4 0is that she 0as 5uite a /at lassie- 0ell- no /at- but bi)- and she had blondish- so(t ay )in)e(ish hai(? ,e 0ent doon the (oad- 4e a0 shy in .ase anybody sa0 n thoat that 0e 0i( )aun oot the)ithe(? =eetin Jui.e Te((y no0 0id be the 0o(se thin) oan Ea(th? It 0isnae that ah didnae li1e he(- it 0is that she 0asnae (eally s1inny 0i bi) tits li1e the lassies in the 0an1 4a)s and they 0e(e no(4ally the type ay bi(d ah 0ent /i(? A0 the 0ey up the (oad it 0as sounds- sounds- sounds- and she (eally 1ent he( stu//? It 0as ba((y tae be able tae tal1 aboot 4usi. tae a lassie that 1ens 0hat it3s aboot? Thi( 0is nane at 4a s.hool- 0ell- thi( 4ust3+e been (eally- but ah 2ist hudnae 4et the4? Ah 4ean- they 1en 0hat3s in the .ha(ts n a0 that shite- but they 2ist loo1 at ye 0hen ye t(y n tal1 albu4s? Ah 0is .hu//ed 0hen thi( 0is nae :te+e Ha(ley in Toll.(oss eithe( and 0e had tae 0al1 doon tae the :outhside and then (i)ht doon tae the top ay Leith ,al1 be/o(e 0e /inally )oat a .opy? Ah thoat he( na4e :ab(ina 0is (eally ni.e- but ah didnae li1e it 0hen she said she )oat .alled :ab? Ah li1ed :ab(ina the best? =ai( e9oti. n 4yste(ious- no sae 4u.h li1e a .a(- ah telt he(? At this ti4e ah 1ent that ah didnae 0ant tae 2ust tal1 4usi. 0i :ab(ina- ah 0anted us tae 4a1e it? This 0is the best /u.1in .han.e ah hud.ause ah .ould tal1 tae he( aboot so4ethin) ah 1ent aboot- 0ithoot he( )ittin /ed up li1e 0i a0 the (est ay thu4? N .ause ah .ould ah 0is dead (ela9ed 0i he(? :o 0e 0ent tae the ,i4py /o( a Co1e n so4e .hips? De .ould tell she (eally 0anted a bu()e( n a0- by the 0ey she 0is loo1in at this boy3s yin- but didnae 0ant 4e tae thin1 she 0is )(eedy? The ne9t ti4e ah 4et he( 0as up in Clouds- oan :eti(day- the ni)ht Gaily )oat li/ted? :he 0is 0i so4e pals? ,e hud a .ouple ay bops but it 0is 4aistly 2ist sittin doonstai(s- tal1in sounds? Ah 0is ne(+y .ause
1(1

ay a0 4a 4ates bein thai(e- but ah 0is .hu//ed 0hin she said she hud tae )et ha4e- and 0e 0ent a0ay ea(ly /o( a 0al1 th(ou)h toon? Ah thin1 that 7enton boy n that =atty /ae Leith 0i( the only yins that sa0 us the)ithe(- 2ist as 0e le/t? ,hen 0e )oat oot- 0e 0i( 2ist sno))in n that- n tal1in aboot sounds? Ah 0al1ed he( doon tae Dai(y- then 2ust .a((ied oan ha4e- doon Go()ie 7oad n (i)ht oot tae the s.he4e? :o ah 4issed it- 4issed a0 the e9.ite4ent? Andy Gallo0ay- ,ee Gaily- 4a 0ee 4ate- ta1en a0ay tae the detention .ent(e oan (e4and@ nae bail pendin) poli.e- so.ial 0o(1- psy.hiat(i. (epo(ts and the t(ial? It3s they t0o thin)s )ettin 4e doon- 4a1in) 4e dep(essed- as 4uh =a .alls it@ 4e able tae dae no0t aboot Gaily and no0t aboot no )ittin 4a hole?

Ah 2ust 1ent that i/ ah didnae )it a (ide 0ithin the ne9t /e0 0ee1s- na0 days- ah 0is )aunny die a +i()indestined tae li+e at ha4e 0i 4uh =a n /aithe( /o( the (est ay 4a li/e? The sta1es 0e(e that /u.1in hi)h? Ah 0as (eady? Ah 0as 0ay past (eady? All ah thou)ht about 0as se9? :e9- se9- se9? Ah phoned :ab(ina n 0e 4ade a date /o( ,i4py3s on the Tuesday? ,e sat thai( n 1issed until ah 0is nea(ly (eady tae shoot 4a /u.1in du// in 4a 2eans? It 0is )(eat- but it 0isnae enou)h? Ah plu.1ed up the .ou(a)e tae as1 he( i/ she /an.ied .o4in doon tae 4ine tae loo1 at the (e.o(ds ne9t :eti(day ni)ht- 0hen 4uh =a n Dad 0ould be at the Ta(tan Club? :ab(ina s4iled 5uite .hee1y n said- I I/ ye li1e? Ah3ll dae it? Co4e up and see 4e- 4a1e 4e s4ile ? ? ? Couldnae 0ait till :eti(day? It d(a))ed? Ah 0ent oot tae 4a1e a .all tae he( oan the ,ednesday- e+en thou)h it 0isnae too .ool? The phoneboa9 0is /u.1ed? Ah hud tae )o ba.1 ha4e n snidely dae it? He( /aithe( ans0e(in) the phone? =e as1in /i( he(- 4a +oi.e b(e1in? :he see4ed a loat 4ai( .asual- it 0is as i/ she didnae )ie a /u.1- and ah 0is 0onde(in i/ she3d .o4e? Ah hud tae 0hispe( n ah /elt li1e ah 0is )ittin a bea4e( i/ 4uh =a o( Dad .a4e in? Then ah t(ied tae )o a0 )(u// li1e ah 0is tal1in tae a 4ate? Ah doubted no0 0hethe( she3d .o4e- e+en thou)h she said aye- 0hen ah telt he( ah3d see he( oan :eti(day? It 0is dep(essin? Then at Ne04an3s /(uit shoap Topsy 0is at ays tae )o tae He(ts oan :eti(day? Na0? No 0ay? That =a))ie 0id 4ibbe be thai(? :ab(ina3s bette( than he(? Ah thoat ah3d )it tae he(s 0hen he( =a n Dad 0i( a0ay? 6illy sais they le/t he( oan he( tod tae )o doon tae
1((

6la.1pool? :1inny 0ee s.(u//y =a))ie- 0hae 1?b?3d 4e n then 0ent 0i /u.1in Te((y- o( so the .unt sais? It see4s a load ay shite tae 4e? Eh .annae hu+ sha))ed e(erybody that3s )oat a /anny?

4e"s and -entiles
Topsy hud been oan at ays a0 0ee1@ at s.hool- then at oo( 0o(1- aboot ays no )aun tae the Hea(ts )a4e at =ont(ose? It 0is 2ist .ause ah3d been at Hibs oan :eti(day? Ah thin1 eh thoat ah 0is .han)in sides? Nae .han.e ay that? Ah still shite 4asel thin1in aboot that )ob that 0ent doon 4a th(oat? Ah dinnae 4ind a pun.hin o( a 1i.1in- but that3s dis)ustin? ,hat a /u.1in 0ay tae dieF hepatitis /ae so4e /u.1in Gles)ay s.(u// th(ou)h ba.1in up Hibs .unts ah /u.1in hate any0eyG It3s no +e(y (o.1 n (oll- no li1e a d(u) o+e(dose o( heli.opte( .(ash? Dou3d p(obably )et =a))ie O((- n a0 they lassies /ae s.hool- a0 d(essed in bla.1- standin (oond 4a )(a+esheddin tea(s- 0ishin they3d hud the de.en.y tae )ie ays 4a hole 0hin they hud the .han.e? E/ti( sla))in 4e aboot it a0 0ee1- Topsy no0 0ants ays to )o o0e( n o0e( 0hat happened oan :eti(day? ,i( sittin doon in the base4ent ay the shoap- hu+in oo( b(e1 in the o//i.e? Poo/y Geo()e is ootside in the .ella(- 4a1in up so4e bou5uets and 0(eaths? Oo( =( Tu(+ey is /as.inated by the Doyles- and DoEo espe.ially? Eh 0ants ays tae tell it a0 a)ain@ 0hae 0is /i(st in- Doyle o( Gentle4an- 0hae 0is the )a4est n a0 that shite? Fine /o( 0hile- e+en /un /o( a 0hile- but it does yi( heid in e/ti( a bit? :o tae .han)e the sub2e.t ah sta(ts )aun oan aboot the band? I Tell ye 0hat- ah hud a )(eat tune thit .a4e intae 4a heid last ni)ht- ah telt u4? Topsy )oes 5uiet and thou)ht/ul? Then eh su.1s oan these bi) /(ont teeth ay his- li1e eh ey0is does be/o(e eh3s )aunny say so4ethin? I =a auld 4an3s no )aunny lit us p(a.tise in 4a hoose a)ain- no e/ti( the last ti4eeh tells ays? Fu.1in 0ell 1ne0 itG The da/t .unt hud a0 they bi(ds up- =a))ie n that? No thit ah 0is .o4plainin- but ehs bed(oo4 0is li1e :t Ja4es3s Cent(e? ,e )oat a0 e9.ited n sta(ted sho0in oa/- tu(nin the a4ps up dead loud- n ehs auld boy tu(/ed us oot? :o4e /u.1in band? I Aye- 4a auld )i(l )oes (ad)e as 0ell- ah hud tae ad4it? I Any0ey- it3s a 0aste ay ti4e (oond at 4ines- the auld boy ey0is inte(/e(es? Ah 1in ni+i( )it
1(3

the )uita( o//ay u4? ,e should 2ist p(a.tise at =ale3s a0 the ti4e? It 4a1es 4ai( sense? 6y the ti4e eh3s )oat that d(u4 1it (oond tae oo( bit n set it up- it3s ti4e tae pa.1 it in? I His auld lady3s )aunny lo+e that- Topsy )oes- b(ea1in a pie.e /ae ehs /ou(B/in)e( CitCat n dippin it in ehs 4u) ay tea? I Aye- it3s a /u.1in hassle- ah a)(ee? =ind you- e+e(ythin)3s a hassle these days? :tu.1 he(e- at Ne04an3s F(uite(s and Flo(ists o/ Distin.tion 0hen 0e should be p(a.tisin)? :nap should and .ould be the best band e+e(but this 1ind o/ shite )oat in the 0ey? This is the best ti4e at 0o(1 but- the b(e1- the ti4e 0hin ye 1in sit doon n dis.uss the i4po(tant thin)s? I That3s the t(ouble 0i the s.he4e- Topsy .onside(s? BI ,a0s too thin? E+e(y .unt 1i.1s up /u.1? I/ 0e

li+ed in a bi) hoose 0i a base4ent o( a )a(a)e li1e that auld Je0 .unt upstai(s- eh thu4bs up tae the shoap abo+e us- I 0e3d be li1e the /u.1in Ja4 by no0? It 0id be The Ja4 0ho3d be /u.1in 0ell suppo(tin :nap? Ah 0o((y thit Poo/y Geo()e hus hea(d u4- .ause Topsy3s +oi.e (eally .a((ies- so ah loo1s ootside? Geo()e3s still 0heeEin a0ay- daein ehs /looi(s- 4a1in that st(an)e 0histlin sound th(ou)h ehs teeth? Ah tu(n ba.1 intae the o//i.e- lo0e(in 4a +oi.e? I Ne04an isnae a Je0- Tops? Eh3s a p(oddy li1e us? Topsy3s /a.e )oes a0 ha(d and set? I Dou3(e hal/ Catholi.- eh says a..usin)ly? I Oan yi( 4a3s side? I Fu.1 you- ya biased .unt? =uh =a3s ni+i( been tae .hapel in he( pu//- n 4a auld boy3s side u( a0 O(an)e .unts- no that ah )ie a /u.1 aboot that? N Ne04an3s a p(oddy n a0- ah point tae the (oo/- I Eh3s a /u.1in Ci(1 elde(- /o( /u.13s sa1e? Topsy taps the side ay ehs nose? I That3s 0hat they 0ant ye tae thin1? They ta1e o0e( the .hu(.hes tae 4a1e it less ob+ious? I/ the li1es ay Je04en 2ust 0ent tae the syna)o)ue- they 0id stand oot a 4ile? A0 this snea1in intae the p(oddy .hu(.h is 2ist tae 4a1e it less ob+ious? Eh 0ants ye tae thin1 eh3s one ay us but eh isnae? Just then Ne04an .o4es doonstai(s- n 0e ha(dly hea( hi4 till the last .ouple ay steps? Eh 3in be a /u.1in snea1y .unt? :teppin side0eys intae the na((o0 o//i.e li1e a .(ab- eh taps ehs 0at.h/a.e? I Co4e onG Co4e onG Ehs /a.e is li1e a bi(d3s- a0 sha(p bea1 and 1een- da(tin)- spa((y eyes? I The(e3s deli+e(ies need to )o outG eh sais tae 4e? Aye- n the(e3s the bi))est in2usti.e /o( ye@ it3s Topsy that ey sla)s o// Ne04an- but the .unt ne+e( bothe(s hi4- it3s al0ays 4e eh3s oantae? Ah34 usually the da/t .unt that hus tae )o oot oan the deli+e(y bi1e in
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a0 0eathe(s- d(oppin oa/ )(o.e(ies tae laEy (i.h .unts 0hae ne+e( tip ye and t(eat ye li1e a /u.1in s1i++y? I/ ah didnae need the 4oney /o( that =a(shall a4p- the .unt .ould sti.1 ehs 2oab up ehs e(se? De .annae play a Fende( :t(at th(ou)h a shitey a4pli/ie(? Ah34 the /u.1in 0o(1e( he(e? Topsy 2ist pa.1s shel+es upstai(s in the shoap- o( loads the 0(eaths intae the ba.1 ay the +an /o( Ne04an tae ta1e (oond the .e4ete(ies and .(e4ato(iu4s? I/ 0e3(e baith in- it3s ey0is 4e that has tae dae the deli+e(ies? And so4eti4es /i( the Go()ie 7oad shoap n a0? :till- )ittin )aun stoaps ays )ittin intae a()u4ents aboot politi.s 0i Topsy? Eh3s )oat so4e /unny ideas- but it3s 4aistly 2ust tae 0ind people up- sho.1 thu4 n that? People dinnae (eally unde(stand that aboot u4 so4eti4es? N ah3+e )oat a loat tae be than1/ul tae hi4 /i(- it 0is Topsy thit )oat ays this 2oab? I 7i)ht 6(ian- Ne04an sais in that nasal s5uea1 ay his- I up you .o4e and see 0hat needs /illed? Dou3ll 0ant a bo9 o/ pineapple .hun1s- I .an tell you that al(eady- and so4e )a(den peas? I 7i)hto- Topsy says .hee(/ully- /ollo0in) Ne04an ba.1 up the stai(s tae pa.1 so4e shel+es? Eh )ies the .unt the 8s behind ehs ba.1? Tou)h li/e /o( so4e@ that /u.1e(3ll be in a ni.e- 0a(4 shoap .hattin up Debo(ah o( 8i.1y- 0hae+e(3s oan 0i auld =(s 6a9te(? =ean0hile- ah hu+ tae (is1 4a li/e )aun th(ou)h hea+y t(a//i. oan an o+e(loaded bi1e (oond =e(.histon n Golinton? The )(o.e(y bo9es a(e sp(ead o+e( the .ella( /lai( 0he(e the 0histlin poo/- .lad in ehs )(een o+e(alls- is 4a1in up his /lo(al displays? He3s )ood at it as 0ell@ his hands t0ist and tease these 0i(es and a (eal 0o(1 ay a(t is .(eated in 4inutes? Ah 0idnae 1en 0he(e tae sta(t? Ah ta1e a loo1 at the o(de( slips stu.1 tae ea.h boa9- n sta(ts plannin oot 4a (oute? It3s no too bad the day? Di( best sta(tin at the /u(thest a0ay yins at Colinton- n 0o(1in yi( 0ey in? It3s 4ai( en.ou(a)in? The 0o(se ti4e is oan :eti(day 4o(nin- 0hin it3s 4e oan one 0ee1 n Topsy the ne9t? Thi(3s been a /e0 ti4es that one o( othe( ay us hus 4issed the He(ts bus- espe.ially i/ it3s a /a(a0ay )a4e n they hu+ tae lea+e ea(ly? Topsy 0a(ned ays aboot Poo/y Geo()e 0hin ah sta(ted? I Eh3s an auld poo/ a0(i)ht? Ah 4ean- eh disnae )(ab yi( e(se o( no0t li1e that- bit ye 1en eh3s a poo/ by the 0ey eh tal1s n 4in.es aboot? :u(e enou)h- auld Geo()e lisps- sp(ayin 4a /a.e 0i )ob li1e eh sp(ays ehs displays 0i ehs 0ate( )un? Pointin tae one o(de( eh tells ays- I Ta1e that yin oot tae =(s 7oss /i(st- son? :he 0is oan the phone de4andin it? An a0/ay pala+e(?
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:o ah sta(t loadin up the auld bla.1B/(a4ed deli+e(y bi1e- and /ae up the stai(s ah 1in al(eady hea( Topsy n Debo(ah- that ba((yBloo1in student bu(d- lau)hin loudly at so4ethin?

%rin)in9 to $or9et
I34 (unnin) late and this boot =(s 7oss has this 0ee poodle 0i a ta(tan .olla( that ey nips at 4a heels? This ti4e eh3s (eally )oat a hud ay 4e- ehs teeth u+ b(o1e 4a s1in n 4a t(oose(s 4i)ht be (ipped? Ah3+e hud this up tae 4a /u.1in eyeballs- so ah d(oaps the hea+y boa9 oan toap ay it? Thi(3s a yelp and the basta(d 0hi4pe(s and 0hines- st(u))lin) tae /(ee itsel/ /ae unde( the 0ei)ht ay the bo9? Hope ah b(o1e the .unt3s ba.1? That /at auld so0 .o4es tae the doo(? I ,hat3s happenedG she s.(ee.hes- I 0hat ha+e you done to hi4G :he pulls the bo9 o//- and this /u.1in thin) s.(a4bles ba.1 inside?

I :o((y- but it 0as an a..ident- I s4ile? I He bit 4y le) and I d(opped the bo9 in /(i)ht? I Dou ? ? ? you ? ? ? stupid ? ? ? Ah al0ays /ind that the best thin) tae dae in that position is tae stay .ool n 2ist (epeat yi(sel/? The auld boy telt ays that3s ho0 the union tau)ht the4 tae ne)otiate? I He bit 4y le)- and I )ot a sho.1 and d(opped the bo9 by 4ista1e? :he loo1s at 4e in shee( hate- then tu(ns and lu4be(s in a/te( the du)- I Pipuh(( ? ? ? Pipuh(( ? ? ? 4a 0ee laddie ? ? ? Ah 0isnae e9a.tly 0(e.1in 4a .han.es ay a tip- .ause that ti)ht auld .unt- thou)h /ill ay shite- still 0ouldnae pa(t 0i a /a(t? On the :late/o(d 7oad ah )oat 4a lun)s pu4ped 0i .(ap /ae the /u.1ed e9haust o/ a .o(pie busF than1s Lothian 7e)ion T(anspo(t? Ah did )et a tenBbob bit /ae =(s 6(yan late( oan 0hi.h .hee(ed ays up- but it 0as past .losin) ti4e 0hen ah )oat ba.1 tae the shoap at :handon? They 0e(e standin ootside- 0aitin tae lo.1 up? Ne04an 0as loo1in) at his 0at.h- a /a.e li1e so4e .unt had let one )o unde( his nose? I Co4e on- .o4e on- eh .heeps a0ay? Topsy n Debo(ah a(e sni))e(in n that =(s 6a9te(3s loo1in a0 hu4pty- .he.1in he( 0at.h in i4itation ay he( boss? The .unts a(e a.tin li1e it3s 4a /ault thi( held ba.1 late- 4e thit does a0 the /u.1in (eal 0o(1 n a0? Ah34 thin1in that it 0ould be )(eat tae see so4e .unt bu(st that /u.1in Ne04an3s 4ooth1(#

o( bette( still- see u4 t(yin tae )o that bi1e oan ehs ain- n 0at.h a .o(pie bus .(ush hi4- and it- intae the ta(4a. oan the :late/o(d 7oad? Topsy n 4e 0at.h that Debo(ah )o a0ay doon the (oad? I4a)ine )aun oot 0i a bi(d li1e thatG ,e 0at.h he( )o o0e( the b(id)e at :handon? I 7ide that any day ay the 0ee1- Topsy )oes? I :he3s )oat a /elly but? I Ah3ll /u.1in bet she hus- ah nod- ad4i(in the 0ey he( an1les oan these hi)h shoes tape(ed up tae they .al+es? He( s1i(t 0ent tae belo0 the 1nee- but it 0is that ti)ht- ye .ould tell he( thi)hs and e(se 0e(e ba((y? ,e hud a )(eat syste4 /i( )ittin a dee1 at he( n 8i.1yF tit 0hen standin oan the ladde( sta.1in the toap shel/@ le)s 0hen loo1in up /ae the lo0e( shel+es? One :eti(day 4o(nin 0hen 8i.1y 0is oan- she 0is 0ea(in this sho(t s1i(t 0i they 0ee 0hite panties? De .ould see he( pubes- .u(lin oot oan eithe( side? Ah thoat ah 0is )aunny pass out? Ah hud a 0an1 aboot it that ni)ht and shot that 4u.h spun1 ah thoat ah3d hu+ tae )o oan a saline d(ip up the hoaspital 2ist tae (epla.e the /luids? He( pubesF 2ust the thoat ay thu4? Enou)h? I De headin /i( ha4eH ah as1 Tops? I Na0- ah3ll see ye the 4o(n? Ah34 )aun tae 4a Nana3s /i( 4a tea the ni)ht? Topsy3s =a n Dad hud 2ist split up- so eh 0is spendin 4ai( ti4e at his Nan3s at ,este( Hailes? :o ah lea+es u4- n nips o0e( the :late/o(d 7oad- n doon the steps? Ah stoaps oa/ at :ta(3s Fish 6a( /i( so4e .hips .ause ah34 sta(+in- then ah head oantae Go()ie 7oad? Ah34 0al1in past the slau)hte(hoose n 4a1in 4a 0ey tae the s.he4e 0hen ah see thu4 .o4in tae0a(ds 4e? It 0is Lu.y ah noti.ed /i(st- he( 0hiteBblonde hai( )lo0in) in the sun li1e s.ien.eBlab 4a)nesiu4 i)nited? Ah 0ish ah hud hai( li1e it@ 0hite- aye- but 0i that .(u.ial tint ay blonde- 0hi.h sepa(ates .lass /ae se4iBalbino 4il1Bboatil heidedness? :he3s )oat a /a0n pai( ay t(oose(s oan- the 1ind that .o4e up tae the 4idB.al/- n this yellay toap that ye 1in see the b(a th(ou)h? Thi(3s a 0hite 2ay1it d(aped o0e( he( 0(ist? Then ah loo1s tae he( (i)ht and the(e3s that /a4ilia( bi) 4ass ay .o(1s.(e0 .u(ls? Thi( 0al1in a bit apa(t /ae ea.h othe(- li1e thu+ been a()uin? Lu.y3s /a.e is set in that ha(sh- dete(4ined 0ey? The beauty n the beast- (i)ht enou)h? :he .ould dae bette(- that3s /o( su(e? =ind you- that3s 2ist 2ealousy tal1in n ah suppose it 4eans that she should be 0i 4eno 0i that .unt? They see 4e- n they sta(t tae pull the)ithe( a 0ee bit? I Lu.e? TeE?
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Lu.y3s )ot he( hai( tied ba.1- n he( s1in loo1s as s4ooth as yi( )(anny3s best .hina- that3s i/ 4a )(anny hud any best .hina? I A0(i)ht- she )oes- he( eyes sha(p and he( botto4 lip tu(ned doon a0 soo(? Te((y 4a1es a bi) /uss ay ays? De 1en eh 0ants so4ethin? I Heeeyyy ? ? ? =( E0a(tG It3s The =il1y 6a( CidG Then- li1e eh3s 2ist thoat ay so4ethin- I Just the 4anG Tell he(- Ca(l- eh sais- noddin at Lu.y? I Dinnae sta(t- Te((y- Lu.y hisses at hi4- I 2ist d(oap it? I Na0- ni+i( 4ind dinnae sta(t? It3s you thit3s been 4a1in a..usations aboot 4e? Dinnae )o 4a1in a..usations aboot people i/ ye .annae listen tae the t(uthG The .unt3s )ittin (i)ht oan ehs hi)h hoa(se he(e- pittin oan that bi)- hu(t- out(a)ed +oi.e? No0 ah 3en eh 0ants so4ethin)? Lu.y )lo0e(s at hi4 n lo0e(s he( +oi.e? I It3s no 4e- it3s Pa4ela- ah telt yeG It .o4es oot in a lo0 )(o0l- n it 4a1es ays thin1 ay Pipe( 7oss- the poodle ah d(oaped the boa9 oan?

G7777777G
I Aye- n ye belie+e that .o0 be/o(e 4e- be/o(e yi( ain /ian.eG Te((y spits oot- hands oan ehs hips- sha1in ehs heid- pittin 4e in 4ind ay an e9aspe(ated /itba playe( 0hae e9pe.ts nae 2usti.e /ae a biased (e/e(ee?

Lu.y loo1s steadily at the .unt /o( a se.ond o( t0o- then tu(ns he( )aEe oan 4e? I Is 0hat eh sais t(ue- Ca(lH Ah loo1s at thai4 baith in tu(n? I It 4i)ht help i/ ah 1ent 0hat the /u.1 yis 0i( oan aboot? I Hi4- she nods at Te((y- still loo1in at 4e- I eh 0ent a0ay 0i a lassie at Clouds? A lassie /ae you( s.hoolG Lu.y 0ent tae the ,EC be/o(e she le/t last yea(- so she3ll p(obably no 1en lassies at oo(s? A lassie /ae oo( s.hool? :tu.1Bup Ca(oline /ae (e))ie? In 4a a(t .lass? ,ee Gally3s eyes 2ist aboot pop oot ehs /u.1in heid e+e(y ti4e she 0al1s intae a (oo4? Dinnae (eally thin1 4u.h ay he(- but she is a (ide? La0son is a lu.1y .unt? Te((y 0in1s at ays /ae o0e( he( shoodi(? Eh3s .(oassin the (oad- sha1in ehs heid- blabbe(in tae ehsel- I Ah34 )aun o0e( he(e- ah34 1eepin oot ay it- ah34 no sayin no0t ? ? ? I That3ll be the day- ah sno(ted tae Lu.y- hopin she 0ould )it the 2o1e- but she disnae? :o ah .lea( 4a th(oat and dae 0hat 4a auld boy al0ays telt 4e tae dae 0hen yi( unde( p(essu(e in ne)otiations and ye
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need tae bullshit? Loo1 at the b(id)e ay thi( nose- bet0een thi( eyes? Fo.us oan that? They thin1 yi( loo1in at thu4 in the eye but yi( no? I Tae be honest Lu.y- ah sta(t- (ealisin that 0is a 4ista1e? De ne+e( say 3tae be honest3- .ause it 4eans st(ai)ht a0ay thit yi( lyin? =a /aithe( tau)ht ays that- aboot ho0 union 4en ne)otiate? Ah .a((y on but? I Ah 0ish tae /u.1 eh hud3+e 0ent a0ay 0i so4e lassie /ae the s.hool? I ,hat dae ye /u.1in 4ean by thatH He( )o()eous bi) eyes na((o0ed intae poisonous slits ay hate? I ,ell- it 0ould stoap ays hu+in tae listen tae u4 )aun oan aboot you a0 the ti4e? It3s Lu.y this- Lu.y thatsee 0hin 0e )it 4ai((ied ? ? ? :he loo1s ba.1 a.(oass the (oad at Te((y- 0hae3s sha1in ehs heid- loo1in a0 hu(t n sad? Then she tu(ns ba.1 tae 4e? I Honest??? is that 0hat eh saisH I Gen up? :he sta(ed ha(d at 4e /o( a se.ond o( t0o- and i/ she3d held it a bit lon)e( she3d3+e sa0 ah 0is bullshittin he(? 6ut she tu(ned ba.1 tae Te((y a)ain? Ah 0anted tae say tae he( bi)- sad- lo+ely eyes@ na0 Lu.y? Te((y3s a .unt? Eh t(eats you li1e shite and 4a1es a /ool ay ye? 6ut ah lo+e you? &h*ll t(eat ye (i)ht? Just let ays .o4e ha4e 0i you n (ide yi( /u.1in b(ains oot? De .ould ne+e( i4a)ine so4ebody li1e :ab(ina bein that )ullible and undi)ni/ied? Then ye (ealise 0hat they say aboot lo+e bein blind and ye 1en that she p(obably does (eally lo+e hi4F the poo(- da/t .o0? O(- at least li1es hi4 enou)h tae belie+e that she lo+es hi4- 0hi.h is as nea( tae the sa4e thin) as yi3ll )it? :he3s 4o+in a.(oass the (oad and o0e( tae hi4- n she3s t(yin tae lin1 ai(4s 0i hi4 n eh3s 2ist tu(nin a0ay(aisin ehs ai(4s up soas she .annae )it a hold ay the4? He3s b(ushin he( o// and .o4in o+e( tae 4e- as she /ollo0s tea(/ully? Te((y3s (antin) a0ayF I ??? t(ustG ? ? ? yu+ )oat tae hu+ t(ust 0hin yi( )aun oot 0i so4ebodyG ,hin yi( en)a)edG I ??? na0 Te((y ? ? ? listen ??? ah didnae 4ean ? ? ? I Ah a)(eed tae e+e(ythinG That3s 0hat hu(ts the 4aistG Ah3+e said thit ah3d stoap )aun tae the /itbaG Ah3+e said that ah3d )it anothe( 2oab- e+en thou)h ah li1e the yin ah3+e )oatG Ah3+e said thit ah3d t(y tae sa+e upG I Te((y ? ? ? Te((y pun.hes ehs .hist? I Ah34 the one thit3s daein a0 the )i+in- and no0 thisG Ah34 supposed tae hu+ 0ent a0ay 0i so4e lassie thit ah3+e ne+e( seen in 4a pu//l
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I Ah34 t(yin tae tell ye ??? Lu.y t(ies tae )et a 0o(d in- but she 4ust 1en by no0 that shi3ll ne+e( stoap Te((y in /ull /lo0? A 4ad )lea4 .o4es intae the .unt3s eye? I =ibbe ah should )o 0i othe( lassies i/ ah34 )aunny )it bla4ed /i( so4ethin ah didnae dae? =i)ht as 0ell 2ist dae it- eh sais- )aun a0 (i)id? Then eh loo1s at 4e? I =i)ht as 0ell 5ust do it- eh Ca(lH Eh 4a1es the 2ussst see4 li1e a lon) 0hispe(? Ah34 sayin no0t- but Lu.y3s pleadin 0i u4 no0? I Ah34 so((y- Te((y- ah34 so((y ? ? ? Te((y stops ab(uptly? I 6it ah3ll no? Cen ho0H Lu.y )la(es at hi4- 0ideBeyed and openB4outhed in sho.1 and anti.ipation? I Cen ho0H De 1enH De 1en ho0H :he3s t(yin tae /i)u(e oot 0hat the .unt3s on aboot? I De 0ant tae 1enH De 0ant tae 1en ho0H EhH EhH De 0ant taeH :he nods slo0ly at hi4? Thi(3s a .ouple ay boys )o past- n thi( lau)hin tae thu4sel+es? One .at.hes 4a eye n ah .annae help but lit a 0ee s4ile slip oot? I Ah3ll tell ye ho0? Cause ah34 a 4u)? Cause ah lo+e you? DouG Eh points at he( in a..usation? I Naebody else? DouG They stand loo1in at ea.h othe( in the st(eet? Ah 4o+e a .ouple ay steps doon the (oad- in .ase anybody else .o4es past? Thi(3s a boy in o+e(alls- li1e eh3s 2ist .o4e /ae the slau)hte(hoose- n eh3s loo1in o0e(? Lu.y3s lip

t(e4bles- n ah s0ea( tae )od- it3s li1e thi(3s tea(s 0ellin up in Te((y3s eyes? They lo.1 intae this e4b(a.e- (i)ht thai(e in the st(eet opposite the slau)hte(hoose? A +an )oes past and toots its ho(n (epeatedly? A )uy leans oot the 0indae n shoutsF :O=E6ODD3: OAN THI7 HOLE THE NIGHTG Te((y loo1s at ays o0e( Lu.y3s shoodi(- n ah e9pe.t a 0in1- but it3s li1e eh3s that intae ehs pe(/o(4an.e thit eh disnae 0ant tae b(e1 ehs (hyth4? Lu.y and hi4 e9.han)e deep and 4eanin)/ul )lan.es- as they 0ould say in that Cathe(ine Coo1son boo1 thit 4a Auntie A+(il )ied 4y =a tae (ead? Ah3+e hud enou)h ay this- n ah tu(ns a0ay n sta(ts )aun doon the (oad? I Ca(lG :tall the no0G Te((y (oa(s? In the distan.e ah see the4 1iss? ,hen they b(ea1 o//- 0o(ds a(e e9.han)ed? Lu.y )oes intae he( ba)? Pulls oot he( pu(se? P(odu.es a note- a blue note? Hands it tae Te((y? Anothe( deep sta(e? A /e0 4ai( 0o(ds? A 0ee 1iss oan the .hee1? They 0al1 a0ay /ae ea.h othe(- both
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tu(nin) ba.1 tae 0a+e at the sa4e ti4e? Te((y blo0s a 1iss? Then eh .o4es boundin) o0e( tae 4e? Lu.y )lan.es ba.1 a)ain- but Te((y3s )(abbed a hud ah 4e n 0e3(e 0(estlin n 2ostlin ea.h othe( doon the (oad? I Dou3(e a sta(- E0a(tG De dese(+e a /u.1in d(in1 /i( that? Dou 2ist sa+ed 4a e(seG C34oan- the =il1y 6a(s3(e oan 4eG Eh 0a+es the /i+e(? I ,ell- Lu.y (eally- but ye 1en 0hat ah 4ean- eh lau)hs? I Jist dinnae pill that yin oan ays a)ain- Te((y- ah say- but ah .annae help but lau)h- as ah )(ab ehs Le+i3s 2ay1it .olla( and push hi4 up a)ainst a la4ppost? Then ah t(y tae be se(ious- I Ah34 no )aunny lie tae he( tae .o+e( up /i( you? I C34oan 4ate- you 1en the (ules- eh sais- loosenin 4a )(ip and s4oothin ehsel doon? I Du+ )oat tae ba.1 up yi( 4ates? It 0is you thit tau)ht ays that- eh )oes? It3s a0 bullshit o/ .ou(se- n eh3s bein 0ide tae )it in 4a )ood boo1s? O/ .ou(se- 0i baith 1en it3s 0o(1in and thi(3s no0t ye 1in dae aboot it? ,e3(e 4ates? I :o dinnae ta1e the st(op? Co4e tae thin1 ay it- tal1in aboot bu(ds- ah hea(d that you did a snea1y yin /ae Clouds 0i this 0ee Gin)e(- eh sais- tal1in a0 .(eepy- li1e th(ou)h ehs nose? Ah say no0t? It3s the best 0ey? Lit the .unt (ead 0hat eh 0ants tae in 4a /a.e? I AyeG Di//e(ent sto(y no0G Eh nods- a0 that 1no0in 0ey? I :o it3ll be you that3ll be needin the alibis soon- pal? I Ho0 .o4eH I That 0ee =a))ie O((3s still )oat the hots /i( ye- eh 0in1s- deadly se(ious? I 6ullshit- ah tell u4? It 0id be ni.e tae belie+e- but ye .annae 1id a ladde(- as the auld boy 0ould say? I Ho03s it she 1no.1ed ays ba.1 n 0ent 0i you thenH Te((y di)s ehs elbays intae ehs side- th(ustin ehs pal4s oot? I Gi/t ay the )ab- 4ate- eh e9plains- I but you3(e lea(nin /ast a0(i)ht? That 0is a pe(/o(4an.e n a hal/ thai(e 0i Lu.y? Aye- you3ll )it it o//ay 0ee =a))ie soon? Gua(anteed? Ah34 4ai( intae he( 4ate- this Gail lassie? That 0ee /ou(Beyes- you3+e seen he( a(oond? ,ait till ye see the e(se oan this? ,hin ye )it it st(ipped oa/??? phoa ya .unt thit ye a(e- eh )oes- d(a0in ehs ton)ue slo0ly a.(oass ehs lips? I Na0- the best a((an)e4ent tae suit a0 pe(ties@ you n yi( bi(d /ae Clouds n 4e n Lu.y )aun oot p(ope(- then you n 4e (idin that =a))ie n Gail oan the side? :ounds /in)e(B/u.1in )ood tae 4eG =ibbe it3s 2ist the .unt3s bi) )(in- the enthusias4 that eh hus /i(
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e+e(ythin)- and- o/ .ou(se- the /a.t that ah34 .o4pletely despe(ate tae )it 4e hole- but ah 1in thin1 ay 0o(se a((an)e4ents (i)ht no0? The steeple ay the .hu(.h .o4es intae +ie0- and 0e3(e ba.1 in the s.he4e? Te((y insists 0e )o tae the 6usy 6ee? Ah3+e no (eally been in pubs that 4u.h n ah3+e ne+e( t(ied tae )it se(+ed in The 6usy? I C34oan ,an1B 6oy- on.e yi( a (e)ula( doon The 6usy- a0 they 0ee bi(ds3ll be i4p(essed by that? De .annae be a 0ee s.hoolboy a0 yi( li/e- eh s4iles- then a..uses- I They tell ays yi( )aunny stey oan n a0? I Ah dinnae 1en- it depends oan 4a ? ? ? Ah dinnae )it a .han.e tae e9plain? I Then yi3ll )o tae .olle)e- 0hi.h is s.hool- then be.o4e a tea.he( n be ba.1 in the s.hool? :o yi3ll end up ni+i( hu+in le/t s.hool? Di3ll hu+ nae 4oney- eh lo0e(s ehs +oi.e as 0e head up the hill- 0i the shoaps n the lo0B(ise pillbo9 ay The 6usy opposite? Eh stoaps n pits ehs hands oan 4a shoodi(s? I N ah3ll tell ye one thin)- pal- one 0ee /o(4ula thit they ni+i( bothe(ed tae tea.h me at s.hool? One 0ee /u.1in 4athe4ati.al su4 that 4i)ht3+e sa+ed a loat ay ti4e n t(ouble- n that3sF nae 4oney e5uals nae /anny? Eh stands ba.1- loo1in a0 pleased- lettin this sin1 intae 4a heid? Then eh slips 4e the /i+e( that eh )oat o//ay Lu.y? I Go up tae the ba( n as1 /i( t0o pints ay la)e(? That3s 3t0o pints ay la)e(3 eh )oes in a deep +oi.eno 3t0o pints ay la)e(3 eh )oes a)ain- this ti4e in a hi)h- sh(ill tone? I Dinnae e4ba((ass 4e li1e that 0an1e( Gally did 0hin ah too1 u4 in the(e? Eh )oes up tae the ba( n saisF t0o pints ay bee(- please 4iste(- li1e eh 0is as1in /i( s0eeties? Ah3+e been in pubs- n ah3+e been up the Ta(tan Club loads? I Ah 1en ho0 tae o(de( a d(in1- ya /u.1in 0an1? :o ah st(ides in 0i u4- n up tae the ba(? It see4s a lon) 0al1 but- n e+e(y .unt3s loo1in at 4e- li1e thi( sayin-

3he3s ni+i( ei)hteen3? 6y the ti4e ah )its thai( the ba(4an3s noddin at 4e and ah /eel li1e 4a +oi.e is )aunny .(a.1? I T0o pints ay la)e( please 4ate- ah )oes- a0 )(u//? I Goat a sai( th(oat palH the ba(4an lau)hs- and so does Te((y n anothe( .ouple ay boys that a(e standin at the ba(? I Na0- it3s 2ist ??? ah )oes a0 hi)h- n e+e(y .unt3s pishin thi(sels? The )uys se(+es us but- n Te((y sits in the .o(ne(? =a hands a(e sha1in n ah3+e spilt hal/ the pint be/o(e ah )its tae the seat? I Chee(s Ca(l- ni.e one 4ate- eh toasts ays- ta1in a bi) )ulp? Then eh sha1es ehs heid? I That /u.1in Pa4ela .unt- )iein Lu.y a0 that shite aboot 4e? I A0 she3s daein is ba.1in up he( 4ate but- Te((y? It3s the sa4e /i( lassies?
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Te((y sha1es ehs heid? I Na0- na0- na0- lassies u( di//e(ent? Dou dinnae unde(stand that .o03s )a4e- Ca(l? :he3s /u.1in 0ell )antin oan it- n nae .unt3s )iein he( it? :o she3s )ittin a0 spite/ul- 2ist .ause ay Lu.y )ittin en)a)ed? 6it it3s 4a ain /u.1in /ault- ah should3+e soa(ted he( oot? I Ho0H I :hould3+e )ied he( a len)th on the 5?t?- 2ust tae shut he( /u.1in 4ooth? Needs (ode- that3s he( p(oble4? That3s the di//e(en.e bet0een 4en and 0o4en? Any bi(d that isnae )ittin it- it 4a1es thu4 a0 spite/ul n 2ealous? ,e3(e no li1e that- eh )oes- ta1in anothe( bi) )ulp /ae ehs la)e(? I Gie3s that .han)e ya .hee1y .unt- n ah3ll )it thu4 in? Ah hand o0e( the notes n .oins- n eh bounds up tae the ba(? Gulpin ha(d- ah t(y tae /o(.e the pint doon- o( at least 4a1e so4e (easonable p(o)(ess be/o(e eh .o4es ba.1 0i 4ai(? ,hen eh (eappea(s 0i the d(in1s eh3s ob+iously hud an idea? I :o- Ca(l- ah 0is thin1in- ah3+e eithe( )oat tae )ie that Pa4ela yin- o( )it so4e othe( .unt tae? Dou3(e spo1en /i( no0- so 4ibbe ah should send /i( 6i((ell? I/ no0t else- it3ll 1eep the .unt a0ay /ae oo( D+onne /o( a bit? I4a)ine that 0an1e(3s .hatBup lines but- Te((y )oes- daein a b(illiant e9a))e(ated 6i((ell i4pe(sonation- tal1in in te(se- .lipped tones? I I a4 6illy? I li+e in :tenhouse? I play /itba and I bo9? I ha+e to t(ain +e(y ha(d? It is b(utal? The 0eathe( is ni.e? Do you 0ant tae ha+e se9ual inte(.ou(se 0ith 4eH ,e3(e sittin thai( pishin oo(sels n 0i( daein it o0e( n o0e( a)ain /i( a)es? =e n Te((y .ould 0(ite .o4edy s.(ipts /i( =onty Python 0hen 0e )it li1e this? A/te( the thi(d pint ah phone ha4e n tell 4y =a tae 1eep 4a tea n ah3ll )it it late(? Ah tell he( that ah hud so4e .hips /ae :ta(3s? :he disnae say anythin)- but ah 1in tell she3s no too .hu//ed? ,hen ah sits ba.1 doonthis auld boy .o4es in? Te((y )ies ays a bea4e( by sayin that eh3s =a))ie O((3s un.le- and eh int(odu.es 4e as a 3.lose /(iend3 ay his nie.e3s? I Nud)e- nud)e- 0in1- 0in1- say no 4o(eG eh )oes- i4pe(sonatin the boy ootay =onty Python? Chee1y .unt Te((yF it3s hi4 that sha))ed he( and it3s 4e eh3s t(yin tae )it the bla4e /i( itG This Ale. )ad)e isnae bothe(ed but? Eh see4s a bit d(un1? The bee(s 1eep .o4in n 4a /a.e )oes a0 /lushed n hea+y? The ne9t ti4e ah )o up- the ba(4an3s s4ilin a0ayli1e eh 1ens ah34 (eally pished? ,hen 0e )et oot the pub ah34 /u.1ed /o( a bit as the ai( hits ays? Ah 4ind ay sin)in Glorious $earts n Te((y sin)in) Glory to the $ibees at ea.h othe( as 0i( )aun doon the (oad- then no0t?
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It3s 4o(nin) n ah 0a1e up oan Te((y3s bed- oan the ootside ay the .o+e(s and /ully .lathed- than1 /u.1- in ehs =a3s hoose? Thi( 0is this noise in 4a heid li1e a d(ill- n it3s Te((y sno(in ehs heid oa/? Ah loo1 up n ah see that 4op ay .o(1s.(e0 .u(ls? Eh3s (i)ht in the bed- but at the othe( end ay it /ae 4e? Ehs /eet3s ne9t tae 4a heid- n althou)h they dinnae s4ell- the (oo43s bo))in- it3s /ill ay ehs /a(t )as? Ah 0o1e up 0i a ha(do- 0hi.h is 4ibbe .ause ah need a pish n 4ibbe .ause ah hud this st(an)e d(ea4 aboot :ab(ina n Lu.y n =a))ie last ni)ht? It 0isnae th(ou)h bein in the sa4e /u.1in bed as Te((y any0eyG Ah hea( /itsteps oan the stai(s n Te((y3s =a .o4es th(ou)h 0i a .up ay tea in ea.h hand? Ah34 1iddin oan ah34 asleep but ah .an hea( a )a))in)- .ho1in noise and the 4ad- un.ont(olled (attlin) ay .up oan sau.e(? I =y )od- 0hat hu+ youse been eatin ? ? ? :he puts the sau.e(s oan the bedside table? I =ade a bloody 4ess in the bath(oo4- 0hi.h ah hud tae .lean up? It3s not )ood enou)h- Te((y- it3s 2ust not )ood enou)h? I GeeE /u.1in pea.e ? ? ? Te((y )(oans? Ah open 4a eyes n sees Te((y3s =a standin at the doo(- /annin) he( hand in /(ont ay he( s.(e0edBup /a.e? I Hiya- =(s La0s ??? ah 4ean =(s Al(i.h? I Dou( 4othe( and /athe( a(e 0o((ied about you- Ca(l E0a(t? Ah phoned up /(o4 ne9t doo( and told the4 you 0e(e he(e? Ah said that ah 0ould 4a1e su(e you )ot so4e b(ea1/ast and )ot o// tae s.hool? As /o( this oneshe loo1s at Te((y- I you ha+e to )et up /o( you( 0o(1? Dou3(e lateG Dou3ll 4iss that lo((y? I Aye- aye- aye ? ? ? Te((y 4oans as =(s Al(i.h lea+es the (oo4? Ah )ies 4a nuts a s.(at.h? Ah )it up n nip th(ou)h tae the bath(oo4- shieldin 4a ha(d .o.1- .lathed but still 0o((ied in .ase so4ebody .at.hes 4e in the hall? In the bo)s ah dae a lon) pish- hu+in tae bend 4a .o.1 (eally

sai( soas ah dinnae pish oan the /lai( 0hi.h s4ells ay si.1 n disin/e.tant? Ah )o ba.1 th(ou)h and Te((y3s asleep a)ain- the laEy .unt? Disnae li1e a 1ip 4u.h that .unt- eh no? Ah head doonstai(s /o( the /(ont (oo4? Te((y3s =a3s the(e- sittin in a .hai(- s4o1in a /a)? I A0(i)ht- =(s Al(i.h- ah )oes? :he says no0t but 2ist nods tae ays? I Anothe( ni)ht oan the tilesH this +oi.e )oes? Ah 2u4ps- ah didnae see ,alte(- Te((y3s step/aithe(- sittin) thai(e in the .o(ne(- (eadin the Daily /ecord. Te((y doesnae )it oan 0i the boy- but ah thin1 eh3s o1ay? Eh .(a.1s ays up- the 0ey eh tal1s- that Ge(4an a..ent- in a
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4i9tu(e ay o(dina(y :.ottish n posh- /o(4al En)lish? Te((y hates the poo( basta(d thou)h? I A0 aye- =( Al(i.h ? ? ? Te((y .o4es ben- p(obably 0o((ied thit 0e3d sta(t tal1in aboot the .unt behind ehs ba.1 0hi.h- ah suppose0i /u.1in 0ell 0id i/ eh hudnae .o4e th(ou)h? Eh )oes past ehs =a intae the 1it.hen n opens the doo( ay the /(id)e n pills oot a pint ay 4il1 n sta(ts d(in1in it? I Te((yG ehs =a )oes? I Ase a )lassG :he sha1es he( heid a0 dis)usted- then as1s u4 i/ eh 0ants an e)) (oll n a sausa)e (oll? I Aye- Te((y says? I :a4e /o( you- Ca(lH she as1s ays? I :ound- =(s Al(i.h- ah say- )iein he( a 0ee s4ile- a0 .hee(y li1es- bit ah dinnae )it one ba.1 /ae he(? I Dou )o (ound and see you( 4u4 be/o(e you )o to s.hool- she 0a(ns? Ah lau)hs a 0ee bit- .ause ah34 still pished /ae the othe( ni)ht? D(in1in in the 6usyG =e n Te((yG PishedG Ah 1in tell thit Te((y3s =a3s no too .hu//ed n thit she3s 0o(1in up tae say so4ethin? :he3s a0 tense- Te((y3s =a is? De 1in /eel the /u.1in at4osphe(e a 4ile a0ay? :u(e enou)h- she lits (ip- 2ist 0hin ye thin1 ye 4i)ht hu+ )oat a0ay 0i it? A0 =as dae that- 4ine is (eally )ood at it? Thin1 yi( )aunny )it a0ay 0ithoot )ittin yi( heid nipped- then boo4G The /u.1in 1no.1oot pun.hG That3s you 0ell snoo1e(ed? Di( 4a3s the best /(iend yi3ll e+e( hu+ in yi( li/e but? Ah .ould ne+e( say 0hae ah lo+ed best bet0een 4y =a n Dad? It 4ust be p(etty ho((ible /o( Te((y- hu+in anothe( )uy sittin 0he(e ehs (eal Dad should be? It 0ould 2ust 1ill 4e? I That 0is a te((ible bloody (a.1et you 4ade last ni)ht- =(s Al(i.h says tae Te((y? I ,o1e up the 0hole bloody blo.1 0i yi( nonsense? I Aye- Te((y says? I =( Jea+ons ne9t doo( 0as ban)in) th(ou)hG I He3s )ittin /u.1in bloote(ed- that .unt- Te((y )oes unde( his b(eath? I ,hatH :he pops ba.1 oot /ae the 1it.hen li1e a /u.1in 2a.1BinBtheBbo9? I No0t? I It3s 2ust not )ood enou)h- Te((yG =(s Al(i.h )oes- then heads ba.1 intae the 1it.hen? I Aye- a0(i)ht thenG Te((y snaps? Disnae li1e ehs heid bein
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nipped- Te((y doesnae- n ye 1in see ehs point .ause 0i( /eelin (ou)h he(e? De 2ist 0ant tae ta1e it easy /o( a bit? :he3s 0ell oot ay o(de( sho0in Te((y up 0hen eh3s )oat 4ates in the hoose? Te((y3s hands u( 0hite )(ippin the .hai( ai(4s? His =a3s ba.1 oot a)ain? I This isnae a doss house- Te((yG This is a ho4eG Te((y loo1s a(oond- ha.1ed oa/- li1e eh disnae belie+e this? I Aye- so4e /u.1in ha4e? =(s Al(i.h .o4es oot- he( hands on he( hips? Te((y 4ust )it that o//ay he(- .ause he stands li1e that a loat n a0? Aye- ah34 still 0ell pished /ae last ni)ht? It3s /unny the thin)s thit ye noti.e 0hin yi( pished- no li1e a.tually d(in1in- but reco(erin /ae the d(in1- li1es? I ,e3(e only t(yin tae )et a 0ee bit pea.e- you( step/aithe( and I ??? she tu(ns to the Ge((y boy ??? I ,alte( ? ? ? I A0- lea+e the4- Ali.e- they3(e 2ist bloody da/t- eh says? I Jist shut the /u.1 up n gies a 0ee bit ay pea.e then- Te((y shouts- loo1in up /ae the pape(- I 4a heid3s /u.1in nippinG :he tu(ns oan hi4 s.(ea4in- I This is yi( 4othe( spea1in)G she points at he(sel? I Dou( 4othe(- Te((yG :he so(tay i4plo(es- li1e she 0ants hi4 tae 1en 0hit she3s )aun oan aboot- n eh does in a 0ey- bit she3s 0ell oot ay o(de( e4ba((assin Te((y li1e that in /(ont ay a 4ate? Ah loo1s at hi4 n nods o0e( at he(- as i/ tae say- dinnae ta1e that shite? Tae )ie Te((y ehs due- eh3s no /u.1in 0ell ta1in it? I :hut the /u.1 up? Gaun oan n oan ? ? ? Te((y3s =a 2ist )oes a0 sti// n stands thai(e- li1e she3s in sho.1? Fu.1in (i)id she is? Ah3+e )oat that se4i ba.1 a)ain? Ah loo1 o0e( at ,alte( n ah 0onde( i/ he3s )iein Te((y3s =a the 4essa)e? Ah34 thin1in tae 4asel0id ah sha) Te((y3s =aH =ibbe aye n 4ibbe na0- bit ah3d li1e tae 0at.h he( oan the 2oab- 2ist tae see 0hit she a.ted li1e 0hin she 0is )ittin (ode? :he +anishes ba.1 intae the 1it.hen?

Te((y3s step/aithe( pit.hes in- .ause eh /eels eh hus tae ba.1 up =(s Al(i.h- but ye 1in tell eh disnae )ie a /u.1? Te((y 0id ta1e u4 in a s5ua(eB)o? Easy? ,alte( 1ens that Te((y3s )ittin bi))e( n st(on)e( n he3s )ittin aulde( n 0ea1e(- so it3s no /i( hi4 tae t(y anythin) oan? I It3s no that 0e ob2e.t tae you( d(in1in) Te((y- =( Al(i.h )oes- I I 4ean- I also li1e a d(in1? It3s this e-cessi(e d(in1in) all the ti4e that I .annae unde(stand? I Ah 2ist d(in1 tae /i()et- eh- Te((y )oes- s4i(1in at ays- n ah sta(ts n a0?
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Te((y3s =a3s 2ist .o4e ba.1 oot- 0i so4e (olls oan a plate? They loo1 )ood? :he )oes- I Don3t be so bloody stupid- Te((y- 0hat dae ye 4ean /o()etH ,hat the hell dae you ha+e tae /o()etG I Fu.1 1no0s- .annae (e4e4be( but- eh? =ust be 0o(1inG Te((y )oes- n ah )ies u4 the thu4bs up? Da beautyG :he /u.1in 0ell 0al1ed (i)ht intae that yinG Ah34 0ishin Gally 0is he(e no0 tae see that? A /u.1in .lassi.F the best e+e(? I Dou .an lau)h- Te((y- but it3ll .at.h up 0i ye- his step/aithe( )oes? I It3s no as i/ 0i( d(in1in a0 the ti4e- Te((y lau)hs- I so4eti4es 0i( oan d(u)s n a0- eh? Ah sta(t sni))e(in a0ay- a lo0Ble+el lau)h- +ib(atin li1e that ne0 ele.t(i. sha+e( 4a auld boy )oat /i( ehs Ch(ist4as? The 7e4in)ton- as ad+e(tised by 8i.to( Cia4- the .unt that boat the /u.1in .o4pany? I I hope that you3(e no intae any ay that nonsense- su(ely you3+e )ot 4o(e sense than that- Te((y3s =a sayssha1in) he( heid and puttin the (olls doon in /(ont ay us? I Dae ye hea( that- ,alte(H Dae ye hea( itH This is 0hat Lu.y3s )ettin)? ThisG :he points at Te((y? ,alte( loo1s a.(oss at hi4- a0 ste(n? I That little )i(l 0ill not stand /o( that 1ind o/ nonsense i/ you 4a((y? I/ you thin1 this then you a(e li+in) in the pa(adise o/ a /ool? I Lea+e he( ootay it- eh snee(s- ehs teeth a0 ba(ed- I she3s )oat no0t tae dae 0i you? ,alte( loo1s a0ay? Te((y3s =a sha1es he( heid? I Pe(( 0ee Lu.y? :he 0ants he( heid e9a4ined? I/ eh 0isnae 4a ain /lesh and blood ? ? ? I A0- 0ill you 2ist /u.1in shut it- Te((y )oes- tossin ehs heid ba.1 in dis)ust? Ehs auld )i(l3s sha1in- li1e she3s hu+in a st(o1e? I Hea( thatH Dae ye hea( thatH ,alte(G The auld boy3s 2ist noddin ehs heid /ae behind the pape(- usin it li1e a shield- tae bla.1 oot the s.ene in the (oo4? =(s Al(i.h tu(ns tae Te((y? I This is you( 4othe( spea1in)G Dou( 4othe(G Then she tu(ns tae 4e? I Dae you tal1 tae you( 4othe( li1e that- Ca(lH Then- be/o(e ah 1in say anythin)- I No? Ah3ll bet you dinnae? :he loo1s at Te((y? I N ah3ll tell ye 0hy? Cause he sho0s so4e (espe.t- that3s 0hy? That3s 0hyG Te((y 2ust sha1es ehs heid? Eh bites intae the e)) (oll n the yol1 s5uid)es oot o0e( the .ai(pit? I Loo1 at the 4essG ,alte(G Ehs =a3s (a)in?
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,alte( loo1s a.(oss and does a patheti. 3tut3 but eh3s )oat a 30hat the /u.1 dae ye e9pe.t 4e tae dae3 loo1 oan ehs /a.e? I De should3+e /u.1in 0ell .oo1ed thu4 bette(- Te((y sni//s? I Ah )oat so4e ay it oan 4a ne0 .o(ds? It3s no 4a /ault i/ you .annae /u.1in 0ell .oo1 an e))? I T(y .oo1in) the4 you(sel/G T(y thatG I Aye- that3ll be the day- Te((y lau)hs? ,alte( loo1s o+e(? I Aye- I a4 thin1in) that the sea 0ould be the li/e /o( you- Te((y? Dou .ould at least lea(n ho0 to bloody .oo1 the(e? That 0ould be the 4a1in) o/ you and 0ould be )iein ye the dis.ipline that is needed? I Ah34 no )aun tae sea- /u.1 that? That3s a poo/3s )a4e- that? :tu.1 oan a /u.1in boat 0i a0 othe( )uysH Aye- su(e- Te((y s.o//s- 4oppin up so4e ay the yol1 oan ehs plate 0i the (oll? T(yin tae 1eep it a0 li)ht n pally- ,alte( )oes- I Na0- it is not li1e that? Ha+e you not hea(d o/ the sayin)30e a(e /o( ha+in) a bu(d in e+e(y po(tH3 Te((y 2ist snee(s in .onte4pt and loo1s at ,alte( ha(shly- then o0e( at his auld )i(l- as i/ tae say- 3aye- n loo1 0hat you ended up 0i3? Ah34 )led eh didnae say no0t but- .ause it3s ehs =a- n ye do need tae sho0 so4e (espe.t? D+onne .o4es th(ou)h- 0ea(in a pin1 d(essin )o0n? :he loo1s a0 sleepy n (eally youn) 0ithoot any 4a1eB up- but st(an)ely 4ai( beauti/ul- in a 0ey ah3d ne+e( seen be/o(e? Thi(3s a tu) in 4a .hist- n /o( the /i(st ti4e ah (eally en+y 6i((ell /o( hu+in sha))ed he(? I Any /a)sH she as1s Te((y? Te((y pulls oot his pa.1et ay 7e)al? Eh th(o0s one tae D+onne- then one at 4e- then one at ehs =a- 0hi.h boun.es o// he( tit? :he loo1s at hi4 and pi.1s it up oa/ the /lai(? I Dou )aun tae s.hool- Ca(lH D+onne as1s? I Aye? I ,hat youse )oat this 4o(ninH I T0o pe(iods ay A(t? That3s the only (eason ah34 )aun in- ah tell he(?

=(s Al(i.h sha1es he( heid and says so4ethin) aboot ho0 0e thin1 that 0e .an 2ust pi.1 and .hoose these days- but naebody3s (eally listenin) tae he(? I Aye- D+onne nods? I ,e3+e )oat Coo1e(y- then En)lish- so it3s no bad? :he pulls he( d(essin) )o0n ti)ht tae he(- in .ase ah )oat a
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/lash ay tit? D+onne3s no )oat that 4u.h tit but? 6a((y le)s thou)h? I Ah3ll )it ye doon the (oad- ah3ll 2ist )it (eady- she says? I A0(i)ht- but 0ill hu+ tae 0at.h 0hae sees us lea+e yi( hoose the)ithe(- ah )oes- lau)hin- I dinnae 0ant anybody tae )it the 0(on) idea? Ah 1in tell this 4a1es Te((y un.o4/o(table- n ah34 en2oyin e+e(y 4inute ay it? D+onne s4iles n s0eeps the /(in)e oot ay he( eyes? I De 1in .ai((y 4a boo1s /i( ays- li1e in they A4e(i.an /il4s- she says- n heads ba.1 tae the hall? O/ .ou(se- ah 1en thit a0 ah3ll )it /ae he( oan the 0ey tae s.hool is 6i((ell this n 6i((ell that- but it see4s a ni.e idea? Te((y3s =a3s still no happy? I :he3s no lon) /i/teen and she3s s4o1in li1e a bloody .hi4ney? Dou shouldnae en.ou(a)e he( by )i+in he( thu4- she )oes tae Te((y? I :hut it- Te((y )oes th(ou)h ehs .len.hed teeth- it .o4in oot a0 t3s? I ,ho3s en.ou(a)in 0hoH Dou3(e the .unt thit3s ni+i( )oat a /u.1in /a) oot thi( 4ooth? ,ho3s the )(eat in/luen.e thai( thenH =(s Al(i.h ta1es a deep b(eath and loo1s at ,alte(? It3s li1e she3s )one beyond annoyan.e and disappoint4ent and is no0 2ust (esi)ned tae he( /ate? I Ah used tae thin1 that eh tal1ed tae 4e li1e eh tal1ed tae ehs 4ates in the pub? Ah (eally did belie+e that? 6ut ah 0is 0(on)? No0 ah see that eh 0ould ne+e( dis(espe.t thai4 that 4u.h? Eh tal1s tae 4e li1e ah34 his ene4y- ,alte(? :he slu4ps do0n in the e4pty .hai(a0 stunned and de/lated? I Ah 2ist dunno 0hai(e ah 0ent 0(on)- she sais tae he(sel/? Ah .lo.1 =( Al(i.h loo1in) at he( and ah 1in tell that eh hates Te((y3s =a? Hates he( /i( pittin hi4 in the position ay hu+in tae )o a)ainst Te((y? ,e3(e no )iein a /u.1 but- 0e3(e 2ist )ittin stu.1 intae they (olls? :ets ye up ni.ely /o( the day? De need a nosh e/ti( a d(in1 the ni)ht be/o(e? Te((y leans a.(oss tae ,alte( n snaps his /in)e(s- I Gie3s a dee1 ay that pape( then? ,e3(e oot ay he(e in a 4inute? =( Al(i.h loo1s at hi4 /i( a se.ond o( t0o but eh hands it o0e(? Te((y th(o0s ba.1 ehs heid and lits oot a loud- th(oaty- e+il .a.1le ah3+e no hea(d /ae u4 be/o(e? It hits ays that it3s li1e a 0a( Eone in his hoose and that they pe(( auld .unts a(e nae 4at.h /i( hi4? 7i)ht no0 ah lo+e the basta(d- ah lo+e the po0e( eh3s )oat- n ah lo+e bein ehs 4ate? 6ut ah don3t (eally thin1 ah3d e+e( 0ant tae be li1e u4? ,ell- apa(t /ae the sha))in- that is?
139

%ebut &ha9
D+onne and 4e 0ent tae 4y =a3s that 4o(nin)- and she 4ade us so4e po((id)e- tea and toast? Ah 0is e4ba((assed- as poo( D+onne t(ied tae e9plain that she ne+e( ate b(ea1/ast- but 4y =a 0ent on about it bein) the 4ost i4po(tant 4eal o/ the day and p(a.ti.ally /o(.eB/ed the lassie? =a told us that 6illy hud 2ust )one0hi.h disappointed D+onne? :o 0e (eally hud to nash othe(0ise thi( .ould be 4ai( a))(o 0i 6la.1ie? It3s 0ei(d- but you .an ta1e pe(iods- o( e+en days o// and naebody see4s tae )ie a /u.1- but i/ you3(e t0o 4inutes late in the 4o(nin) they dae thi( nut? As 0e 0e(e )aun oot- 4y =a said- puttin) oan the sa4e- /a1e su)a(y s4ile lassies at the s.hool dae 0hen thai( 0indin ye up- I Oh- so4e )i(l 0as on the phone /o( you last ni)ht? :he didnae lea+e he( na4e- she 2ust said she 0as a /(iend- and she a(.hes he( eyeb(o0s and 4a1es he( +oi.e )o a0 su))esti+e at 3/(iend3? I OhhhG Ca(l E0a(tG Ah 1en ye no0G D+onne )oes- n 4y =a lau)hs .ause she 1ens ah34 e4ba((assed? I Na0 ? ? ? it3s 2ust eh- ah sta44e(? I Eh- 0hat did she sayH I Oh- she 0as ni.e- 4y =a tells us- I she 2ust said she3d phoned up /o( a .hat- and that she3d see you 0hen you3d a((an)ed? I ,eyBheyBheyG D+onne )oes? I That 0as a0- 4y 4othe( lau)hs- then she see4s tae (e4e4be( so4ethin) else? I Oh- and she said than1 you /o( the lo+ely /lo0e(s you sent he(? I Ohh ? ? ? =( 7o4anti.- D+onne elbo0s 4e in the (ibs- I /looi(s n a0G ,hat the /u.13s thisH Ah loo1s at 4y =a- then at D+onne- then ba.1 to 4y =a? :ab(ina? :o4e othe( .unt3s e/ti( he(? Ah ne+e( sent he( any /looi(s? I 6ut ? ? ? but ??? ah didnae send he( any /looi(s ??? ah 0hin)e?

=y =a 2ust sha1es he( heid and lau)hs at 4e? I Na0- you3(e (i)ht- you didnae? I 4ade that bit up? Then she s4iles? I It3s so4ethin) tae thin1 aboot thou)h- isn3t itH Ah stand the(e du4bst(u.1 0i D+onne n 4y =a .a.1lin) at 4e? Gittin the pish (ipped oot ay ye by yi( 4ates ootside3s bad enou)h- but in yi( ain hoose- /ae yi( ain =a- ah 4ean- 4oan tae /u.1G :o4eti4es ah thin1 ah3+e been put oan this Ea(th /i( othe( people3s a4use4ent1/0

0hi.h is /ine- as lon) as ah )et plenty o/ 4a ain? N that3s no happenin)- 0ell- no the 1ind ah (eally 0ant? :o 0e headed o// tae s.hoolF 4e and D+onne@ he( si9 4onths youn)e( than 4e- a se.ondByea( lassie- and she3s the one )aun doon the (oad 0i a da/t 0ee +i()in? :he didnae tal1 aboot 6illy that 4u.h but- she tal1ed aboot ho0 it so4eti4es )oat he( doon in the hoose- a0 the a()u4ents? :he said that e+en thou)h Te((y 0as he( b(othe(- she 0ished that he3d 2ust )et 4a((ied tae Lu.y and 4o+e oot the hoose? ,alte( 0as a0(i)ht- he t(eated he( and Te((y3s =a 0ell- but Te((y 2ust .ouldnae ta1e tae u4? Called u4 the Auld NaEi a0 the ti4e? Ah .ould see D+onne3s point? Ah lapped a0 that up this 4o(nin- but ah .ouldnae li+e li1e that day in- day oot? It 0id /u.1 4a heid up? Any0ey- 0e 0e(e a bit late but than1/ully 6la.1ie 0isnae oan duty- 2ust =(s ,alte(s- 0ho didnae bothe(? I C34on you t0oG I 7i)ht =iss? Ah )oat up tae (e))ie n 0is still hal/Bpished at the s.hool 4aist ay the 4o(nin)? 6illy 0is thai(- n it 0is st(an)e thit thi( 0is nae Gally? Ah /a(ted a(oond in the a(t .lass- sho0in oa/ tae a0 the lassies thai(? Funny thin) 0is- ah3d al0ays been 5uite 5uiet and .ons.ientious in that .lass be/o(e- al0ays 1een tae )et oan 0i 4a paintin)s o( potte(y? It3s li1e that it 2ust da0ned on 4e- th(ou)h the d(in1- that the a(t .lass (eally did .ontain the 4aist sha))able lassies in the s.hool? The ones that ye al0ays /elt 0e(e 0ay in the top lea)ue- )ittin sha))ed by aulde( )uys 0i 0a)es n 4oto(s? A4y Conno(- F(an.es =.Do0all- Ca(oline A(5uha(t and- best o/ all in 4y opinion- Ni.ola Ai(dF all o/ the4 in this .lass? It3s li1e the .at0al1 at a top sho0 and you (eally 2ust .o4e he(e tae paint and .olle.t 0an1in) 4ate(ial? They3(e up the(e oan a pedestal as /a( as sha))in) p(ospe.ts )o- but they3(e ni.e lassies- e9.ept A(5uha(t 0ho3s stu.1Bup and o+e((ated in the sha))able sta1es? No that ah3d say 3no3 tae he( su.1in 4a .o.1- and ah thin1 aboot Te((y- n he( bein 0i that /ilthy .unt? Pe(( 0ee Gally- those la4ps ay his 2ist blaEed 0hene+e( she 0as a(oond? Eh e+en t(ied tae .han)e tae a(t tae be nea(e( he(- but they 0idnae pit u4 in the O )(ade .lass 0i us? Ah loo1 o0e( at he( n hud the )aEe- .o.1y in d(in1- and she loo1s a0ay- 1ennin that ah34 Te((y3s 4ate1ennin that ah 1en? Late( oan Ni.1y and A4y a(e loo1in at the paintin ay 4a albu4 slee+e- /o( the /i(st (e.o(d ou( band :nap does? Ah )et a dee1 ay A4y3s tits and i4a)ine )ittin 4a 1nob bet0een the4- li1e Te((y says his 4ate /ae Leith done?
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I ,hat3s that- Ca(lH Ni.ola as1s? I It3s the slee+e /o( the albu4 /o( ou( band? I/ 0e e+e( )et tae 4a1e an albu4- that is- ah lau)h? O/ .ou(seah 3in lau)h aboot it be.ause ah 3no% that 0e 0ill? It3ll happen- ah 2ist 1en it? I3ll 4a1e it happen? I/ ah .ould only be sae .on/ident aboot othe( thin)s? Ni.ola s4iles at 4e li1e ah34 he( dotty auld )(and/aithe(? I Ah seen you 0i yi( )uita( the othe( day- A4y )oes? I That =al.ol4 Taylo(3s in you( band- An)ela Taylo(3s b(othe(? I Aye- eh3s the d(u44e(? Good d(u44e( n a0- ah lie? =al1y .an ba(ely play? :till- he3ll lea(n? A4y loo1s at 4e- pushes in .lose(? He( hai( is al4ost b(ushin) 4y .hee1? Ni.1y )ets in as 0ell- and she puts he( a(4 on 4y shoulde(? I .an s4ell the pe(/u4e /(o4 the4 and that .(aEy /(esh )i(l s4ell and I /eel li1e the o9y)en has )one /(o4 the ai(- .ause thi(3s .e(tainly nane in 4a b(ain? Ah thin1 it 0id be a )(eat na4e /i( a t(a.1F Cra6y .resh Girl mell. 6it too hea+y 4etal thou)h? I ,he(e did ye )et the na4e :nap /(o4H A4y as1s? Ah34 0o((ied that i/ ah sta(t tal1in no0- 4y lips3ll 2ist /lap the)ithe( li1e an auld )ate in the 0ind? T(yin tae .o4pose 4asel- ah sta(t tellin) he( the sto(y about Topsy n 4e playin) .ai(ds oan the Last Fu(lon) bus- )oin) to see Hea(ts a0ay? Then a /i)ht o0e( a )a4e ay .ai(ds- snap- and one boy bu(stin) anothe(3s nose? ,e3d been loo1in) /o( a na4e and 0hen one aulde( )uy sta(ted shoutin- I 7idi.ulous- /i)htin o0e( /u.1in snap- n 0e 2ust loo1ed at ea.h othe( n that 0as it? I Ah3d li1e tae hea( yis so4eti4e- A4y says? I De )ot a tapeH I Aye ? ? ? Then =(s Ha(te .o4es o0e(? I C34on you lot- these paintin)s a(en3t )oin) to /inish the4sel+es? Ah 0as so .lose tae sayin- .o4e (oond tae 4ines? Fu.1in hell- i4a)ine thatF :ab(ina- =a))ie and A4y- a0 oan the )oG That .han.e )oes 0i the pe(iod bell? 6ut late( oan ah %ould as1 he(- and ah 1en she3d 2ust say 3aye3 o( 3na03

o(F 2ust b(in) the tape in he(e? He( 4ates 0ould a0 be .ool- they 0idnae )o a0 that 30hoooBhooo3 0ay that so4e bi(ds 0ould- and ah3d be .ool n a0? I/ ah .ould Jist )it 4a /u.1in hole- 2ist on.e- then the p(essu(e 0id be oa/- n ah3d (ule this /u.1in 0o(ldG In Geo)(aphy ah /o()et aboot the Gan)es delta- in o(de( tae pen so4e ly(i.s /o( a ne0 son)? And Geo)(aphy3s the best sub2e.t e+e(? A0 they pla.es tae )o tae and see? One day ah3ll +isit the4 a0? 6ut no0
1/(

I34 in a son)0(itin) 4ood? Ah sta(t oa/ thin1in aboot Cra6y .resh Girl mell, but ah34 )ittin a ha(do? E/ti( so4e ly(i.al .o4position- =.Cly4ont .at.hes 4e? I ,ell- Ca(l E0a(t- 0ould you li1e to sha(e 0ith us 0hat you3+e been doin)H I A0(i)ht- ah sh(u)? I It3s 2ust a son) ah34 0o(1in oan /o( the band ah34 in? :nap? It3s .alled 2o Grades. It )oesF Ah don3t 0ant O )(ades- ah don3t 0ant lo0 )(ades- .ause all 4a /(iends )et by 0ith no )(ades ? ? ? you see :?C?E? ain3t 4y :?C?E?N?E? ? ? ? The(e3s a bit o/ lau)hte(- thou)h 4ost ay it )oes tae =.Cly4ont- tae )ie the .unt ehs due? Eh )oes- I ,ellCa(l- I 0as )oin) to ad+ise you that you3ll ne+e( 4a1e it bi) in Geo)(aphy? 6ut a/te( hea(in) you( atte4pts at son)0(itin)- I (e.1on you should (eally sti.1 to this? ,e a0 hud a lau)h? =.Cly4ont3s a0(i)ht? Ah used tae hate the .unt 0hen ah 0is /i(stByea(- but 0hen ye )it aulde( eh hus 4ai( ay a .(a.1 0i ye? Ah3+e seen hi4 at Tynie n a0 be/o(e? It3s )ood tae )it a lau)h at s.hool? 6y the e/ti(noon thou)h- 4y .on/iden.e had )one n ah 0is /eelin shite@ ti(ed- ed)y n /ea(t ay 4a ain shado0? Doyle )ied ays the eye in the .o((ido(- n ah didnae 1en i/ it 0is li1e bein 4ates- o( 4ibbe eh3s /ound oot ah 0is He(ts? Eithe( 0ey- ah didnae 4a1e eye .onta.t? :poo1y as /u.1- that .unt? On F(iday ni)ht ah 2ist steyed in- 0at.hin the telly- then tapin so4e sounds and p(a.tisin) )uita(? ,hen 4y =a and Dad 0ent oot tae the .ine4a I 0as on the phone tae =al1y- ou( d(u44e(? Ah 0anted tae tell hi4 that the /anny 0e(e sni//in) a(oond li1e /u.1 and that 0as a su(e si)n that people 0e(e hea(in) aboot the band? That )ot u4 e9.ited? I A4y Conno( 0anted tae hea( us, eh )asps- a0 e9.ited? Then ah telt hi4 that 0e3d hu+ tae p(a.tise 4ai( at his- and eh 0ent a bit 5uiete(? The auld 4an and auld lady 0e(e a bit suspi.ious ay 4e hin)in a(oond the hoose oan :eti(day 4o(nin? I/ ah 0isnae 0o(1in at the /(uit shoap- o( )aun tae an a0ay )a4e- ah 0is usually up the toon- (oond the (e.o(d shoaps? =y dad as1ed 4e i/ ah 0anted tae .o4e 0i hi4 to the Cil4a(no.1 )a4e at 6(o.1+ille- but ah 0isnae 1een oan that? ,hen it )oat tae :eti(day ni)ht- and eh .a4e ba.1 ha4e- ah 0as a bundle ay ne(+es as they )oat (eady tae )o oot- (eally /u.1in ta1in thei( ti4e? They 0i( still nipped at ays /i( steyin oot a0 Thu(sday ni)ht? They didnae 4ind ays steyin o0e( at a 4ate3s- but ah3d b(o1en t0o (ules? The /i(st one 0as- ne+e( 0hen ah3+e s.hool in the 4o(nin)? The se.ond one 0as that ah hudnae phoned tae tell the4 0hai( ah 0is
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)aunny be? That3s a da/t yin but- .ause ye ne+e( 1en until ye )it thai(- n yi( usually too pished tae phone by that ti4e? Ah hud tae p(o4ise 4y =a n Dad that ah 0isnae )aunny )o tae Clouds 0i the boys- o( up the toon? Ah telt the4 ah 0is )aunny hu+ a ni)ht in- )o up the .hippy n b(in) ba.1 a 4in.e pie suppe(- t0o pi.1led onions and a bottle ay I(n 6(u? Then- aye- ah3d hollo0 oot a bit ay the 4in.e and /ill pa(t ay the .(ust 0i .hips and eat it that 0ey 0hile 0at.hin the lateBni)ht ho((o( /il4? Dep- ah 4i)ht e+en )o /o( a pi.1led e)) as 0ell? Ah thin1 they 1ent that so4ethin) 0as up- but e+entually they 0ent- and ah 0as st(ai)ht oot e/ti( the4- doon the .hippy (i)ht enou)h- but tae 4eet :ab(ina? =a he(t 0is (a.in 0hen the /i(st nu4be( si9 .a4e- n she ne+e( )oat oa/? Ah /elt shite- but (elie+ed as 0ell- then shite a)ain- then a0 e9.ited .ause thi(3s anothe( st(ai)ht behind? :he )its oa/ the bus- d(aped in this bla.1 2ay1it? It 4a1es he( loo1 so .ool- so 4u.h aulde(? :he3s )oat 4ai( 4a1eBup oan n a0? Ah app(o+e a0(i)ht- it 4a1es he( loo1 li1e a /u.1in top sha)? :he 0as ne+e( done up li1e that at Clouds- and she 1ens ho0 tae 0ea( 4a1eBup a0(i)ht? It is a sho.1 but- and /o( a 4inute ah /eel li1e a 0ee boy 0i a )(o0nBup 0o4an? Ah34 totally intae he( no0 thou)h- and 0e ha+e a 5ui.1 hu) and 1iss? Then it da0ns oan ays that ah34 oan the ed)e ay the s.he4e and ah .annae be seen he(e 0i he(- i/ Te((y .lo.1ed he( loo1in li1e that- eh3d hu+ he( a0ay /ae ays in a se.ond? 6ut??? ah 0ant people tae see n a0- see the bi(d ah3+e )oat oa/ 0i he(e- so ah stee( he( tae0a(ds the hoose? A0 na0 ? ? ? The /i(st .unt ah see is 6i((ell- .o4in oot the ne0sa)ent3s 0i a )in3 and so4e (olls and 4il1? I Ca(lG eh )oes? I 6illy- ah nod- lettin oot a b(eath ay ai(? I That3s :ab(ina? Eh- that3s 6illy? 6illy s4iles at he( and then does so4ethin) (eally 0ei(d and dead o(dina(y at the sa4e ti4eF eh tou.hes he( ai(4? I Hiya :ab(ina- eh says? I Thou)ht ah (e.o)nised you /ae Clouds? De 1in tell she3s a 0ee bit su(p(ised- but eh 4a1es it see4 dead natu(al? I Hiya 6illy? Ho0 ye daeinH I No bad? Thou)ht ah3d ha+e a 5uiet ni)ht e/ti( last 0ee1end- eh hal/Blau)hs- tu(nin tae 4e? I Hibs )oat

beat- Andy 7it.hie )ot t0o /o( =o(ton? He(ts 0e(e )a(ba)e as 0ell ah hea(d? Did ye )oH
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I Nah ? ? ? ah34 ta1in it easy- li1e you says? =ibbe )o up the I.e 7in1 in the 0ee1 but- ehH I Aye- sound? Go4e doon /o( ays? I A0(i)ht? :ee ye- 6illy? I Chee(s- Ca(l@ .hee(s- :ab(ina? And oa/ eh 0ent doon the (oad- lea+in ays thin1in@ 0hat the /u.1 0as ah sae 0o((ied abootH 6eha+e you(sel/ E0a(t- ya 4u)? 6illy 0as .ool- eh pit 4e tae sha4e? It b(ou)ht ha4e tae ays 0hat a ba((y )ad)e 6i((ell is? Eh 1in be nippy- but eh3s )oat a sound he(t n eh3s ey0is )ood tae people that dinnae bothe( hi4? 6est .unt I3+e e+e( 4et- (eally? ,e 0ent oan oo( 0ay doon the (oad? I Dou( pal see4s ni.e- she sais? I Aye- 6illy3s sound? The best? I Ah ne+e( 1ne0 you 0ent i.eBs1atin)? I Aye- 2ist so4eti4es- ah said- a bit e4ba((assed? Ah3d )oat intae )aun 0i 6illy- .ause it 0as the best pla.e in toon /o( /anny? :o4e posh 0ee bi(ds thai(e n a0? Ah3d 2ust sta(ted )aun 0i hi4 (e.ently 0hen ah sussed oot that it 0is one ay ehs se.(et 0ee (endeE+ous? The (in1 0is oo( 0ee se.(et- 1ept /ae Te((y- 0hae3d e4ba((ass ye by ta1in e+e(ythin) o0e(? Thi( 0is a 0ee plan in the ba.1 ay 4a heid that on.e ah3d )oat 4a hole /ae a ni.e lassie thai(e- ah3d int(odu.e Gally tae the pla.e n lo(d it o0e( the ne(+ous 0ee +i()inG ,ish it .ould happen no0? =ind you- ah 0is shite oan the i.e- spendin 4aist ay the ti4e oan 4a e(se n .o4in ba.1 soa1in? :po(ty .unt 6i((ell 0is )(eat o/ .ou(se- and ye .ould tell that the bi(ds 0e(e 0ell i4p(essed? He3d 2ust sit ba.1- bein a0 .ool- 4a1in 5uiet .onne.tions /o( Clouds o( 6uste(3s? I )et 0o((ied that :ab(ina 4i)ht thin1 I34 a s.(u// .ause I stey in a s.he4e? =ind you- a tene4ent /lat in Dai(y isnae e9a.tly uppe(B.lass? Ah 1eep he( tal1in aboot sounds- 4a1in eye .onta.t- soas thit shi3ll no noti.e the )(a//iti oan the stai(s? Ah34 no bothe(ed e/ti(- .ause on.e ah )it he( intae the hoose she3ll be able tae tell thit 0i( no s.(u//s? Thi(3s so4ethin ah 1in dae no0t aboot thou)h- n that3s the stin1 ay pish in the stai(? These .unts up the stai(s- the 6a(.lays- they 2ist lit that du) oot n it (uns doon the stai(s tae dae its stu// oan the 0aste? The thin) is thit i/ the stai(doo(3s shut- it 2ist pishes- and so4eti4es e+en shites- in the stai(? ,hen 0e )et up tae 4a bit- ah (e4e4be( that 4a 1ey is oan a bit ay st(in) (oond 4a ne.1- li1e a 0ee bai(n- and it3s so stupid and e4ba((assin as ah hu+ tae /ish it oot and ah /u4ble )ittin it intae the lo.1?
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Ho0 un.ool is this? I/ ah .annae )it a /u.1in 1ey intae the lo.1- ho0 ah34 ah )aunny ??? /u.1- na0? Anyho0- it3s bette( 0hin 0e3(e ba.1 at 4ine? Ah pit oan Co.1ney 7ebel? :ab(ina3s /as.inated by 4a auld boy3s (e.o(d .olle.tion- she3s ne+e( seen so 4any tunes? O+e( ei)ht thousand? I =aist ay the43s 4ine- ah lie0ishin ah hudnae? Ah sho0 he( 4a )uita( n so4e ay the son)s ah3d 0(ote /i( the band? Ah thin1 she ni+i( 5uite belie+ed 4e aboot that- but she3s 0ell i4p(essed 0i the )uita(? I De )aunny play so4ethin) oan it- she as1s? I Eh- 4ibbe late(- ah )oes? Ah3ll 2ist 4a1e a .unt ay 4asel i/ ah t(y that in /(ont ay he(? I The a4p3s a 0ee bit 1na.1e(ed- 4ind ay 0is tellin ye- ah34 sa+in up /i( a ne0 yin? ,e put oan so4e 4ai( (e.o(ds and settle doon oan the .ou.h? E/ti( a bit ay sno))in- ah 4ind ay 0hat Te((y said the othe( ni)ht- 0hen eh 0is tellin ays ho0 eh .hatted up this bi(d? :o ah as1 he( i/ she3s e+e( 4ade lo+e be/o(e- li1e a0 the 0ey? :he doesnae say no0t- but 2ist )oes a0 5uiet? I It 0is 2ist- li1e- i/ ye 0anted tae dae it- that 0ould be )(eat li1e? ,i 4e li1e? No0 li1e? Ah34 2ist sayin li1es- and ah34 t(yin tae .ut 4asel/ oa/ be/o(e ah sta(t (a4blin shite- shite- shite? :he loo1s up at 4e a0 shyly n )ies a 0ee nod and a s4ile? I ,e )aunny ta1e oo( .lathes oa/ then- she says? Fu.1in hell? Ah 2ist aboot shat 4a pants thai(e? Then she )ets up oa/ the .ou.h n 2ist sta(ts und(essin.asually- li1e it3s the 4aist natu(al thin) in the 0o(ldG Ah suppose it is n a0- n ah 0o((y i/ she3s done it loads be/o(e- li1e she3s so4e po9B(idden hoo( n 4a .o.13s )aunny be .o+e(ed in pus n 2ist .(u4ble oa/ i/ ah pit it any0hai(e nea( he(? Fu.1 it? 6ette( dyin ay the .lap thin dyin a +i()in? Ah )(its 4a teeth n pills the blinds shut- 4a hand t(e4blin oan the .o(d? =a he(t3s poundin and ah 1in ha(dly und(ess 4asel? Ah thoat ah 0is ni+i( )aunny stoap sha1in? ,e baith )et ou( .lathes oa/- but she3s /u.1 all li1e the bi(ds in the 4a)aEines and the telly? He( tits a(e ba((ybut he( s1in3s so 0hite she loo1s as .auld as i.eB.(ea4? Funny ho0 ye e9pe.t bi(ds tae be tanned- li1e in the 0an1 4a)s? =ind you- ah suppose ah dinnae loo1 li1e that 7obe(t 7ed/o(d boy eithe(? Ah3+e )oat tae dae

so4ethin) he(e- so ah hu) he(- and I34 su(p(ised ho0 0a(4 she /eels? Ah3+e stoapped sha1in? The /unny thin) is that ah thou)ht ah 0ould /ind it ha(d tae )it an e(e.tion- 0hen it .a4e doon tae it li1es- but it3s /ai( standin) tae attention a0(i)ht?
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Eh( eyes a(e /eastin oan 4a .o.1- and she see4s /as.inated by it? Ah thoat that 0is only 4eG I Can ah tou.h itH she as1s? Ah .an only nod? :he sta(ts pullin) at it- )ently- but ah shi+e( n tense at /i(st /ae the .onta.t- naebody else has tou.hed 4a .o.1 be/o(e- then ah let 4asel/ (ela9 and ah /eel so(tay ne(+ous but lu9u(ious at the sa4e ti4e? Ah loo1 at :ab(ina- and ah suppose ah should be thin1in- di(ty .o0- but ah34 en2oyin he( app(e.iation ay it? Ah34 en2oyin it too 4u.h- .ause ah dinnae 0ant tae shoot o0e( he(- ah 0ant it in- ah 0ant 4a hole? Ah ta1e a step ba.1- then t0o /o(0a(d- pullin) he( tae 4e- holdin) he(- 4a .o.1 pushin) up a)ainst he( thi)h I Goan lie doon- ah 0hispe(- unsteadily? I Can 0e no 2ist play aboot /o( a 0hile ? ? ? she as1s? I Eh na0- lit3s 2ist dae it- )oan lie doon ??? ah as1 insistently? :he3s li1e 4aist lassies ah suppose- too 4u.h Holly0ood- 0antin it tae be li1e in /il4s n 4a)aEines? That3s a0(i)ht i/ ye 1en 0hit yi( daein- but i/ ah dinnae )it 4a hole no0 ? ? ? :ab(ina )ies a disappointed s4ile- but she3s lyin) oan the .ou.h and she slo0ly opens he( le)s? Ah )asp tae 4asel/- he( so/t hai(y /anny loo1s so /u.1in beauti/ul? Ah )it the /lun1y /ae 4a po.1et n sti.1 it oan 4a .o.1? Ah34 (eli+ed 0hen ah (oll it doon the len)th ay it 0ithoot any e4ba((assin /u4blin? Ah34 bet0een he( le)s and oan toap ay he(- /eelin) he( )(oin a)ainst 4ine? Ah t(y tae )et it in the hole- but ah34 s.(appin the .he((y a)ainst he( pubes and /laps n ah .annae /ind it? Ah34 )ittin so/t? Ah sta(t sno))in 0i he( n ah34 ha(d a)ain(unnin) 4a hands o0e( he( tits- t0i(lin) he( nipples bet0een /in)e( n thu4b? No too so/t- no too ha(d- li1e Te((y on.e said ootside the .hippy yon1s a)o? 6ut ah34 a tit e9pe(t- ah3+e hud loads ay tit- a0 the tit ah 0ant in this li/e in /a.t@ it3s 4a hole ah34 e/ti(? The hole- the 0hole hole and nothin) but the hole? On.e a)ain- ah t(y tae )it it in- but na0- ah34 (ubbin it oan the /laps- hopin it3ll slip intae this bi) )(easy holebut thi(3s no0t the(e? Thi(3s nae holeG Ah34 sta(tin tae pani. ??? is she a )uy o( so4ethin)- one ay they se9 .han)e .unts that3s hud ehs .o.1 .ut oa/??? but no0 she3s )(abbed 4a hand and pit it doon thai(e- oan he( bush? I Play 0i 4e /o( a bit- she says? ,hat the /u.1 is she oan aboot- play 0i he(H ,i( playin do.to(s and nu(ses he(e ??? is she 0antin Japs n Co44andos o( so4ethinH Anyho0- ah34 tou.hin) he(- (ubbin) 4y /in)e(s in he( d(y .(a.11/7

t(yin) tae /ind this soB.alled hole? Then it happensG Ah /eel it- /u(the( doon than ah thou)ht- nea(ly at he( a(sehole /o( /u.13s sa1esG And it3s tiny- no 0ay 0ill 4a .o.1 )it in thai(eG Ah34 0o(1in 4a /in)e( in n po1int(yin tae e9pand the hole- but she3s )(ippin ti)ht (oond it- it3s li1e he( /anny3s a 4ooth- n ah 1in /eel he( )aun a0 tense unde(neath 4e? I Fu(the( up a 0ee bit- she says I Dae that /u(the( up? ,hat the /u.1 is she oan aboot- /u(the( upH Ho03s that )aunny open up the holeH This is /u.1in te((ible? Ah should3+e sa+ed up- 0ent tae so4e bi) hoo( doon in Leith o( in that pla.e doon the Ne0 To0n? =a .o.1 still /eels ha(d thou)h- (ubbin up a)ainst he( thi)h? Ah34 sno))in he( a)ain- still 0o(1in that hole- thin1in ay othe( bi(ds at s.hool ah /an.y- then ah thin1- thi( 4i)ht be anothe( hole /u(the( up ah3+e 4issedG =ibbe that 0is 0hat she 4eantG :o ah does as she sais- sta(ts (ubbin /u(the( up- but ah34 /u.1ed i/ ah 1in /ind anothe( hole? It3s 4ai( li1e a 0ee /leshy button- but ah t0ea1 a0ay at it? 6ut she sta(ts (ela9in- and then she3s t0istin and )(oanin a0ay ? ? ? This is ba((y- she3s (eally tu(ned oanG :he bites 4a shoodi(? :he )oes- I Gies it no0 ? ? ? )i+e it tae 4e ? ? ? Ah34 thin1in- 0hat a /u.1in lo+e( ah a4- 0hat a /u.1in pu(e se9 4a.hine- but /u.1 sa1es- it3ll ne+e( )it in yi( hole- doll- it3s 2ust too 0ee? =aybe the s4alle( 4an li1e pe(( Gally ? ? ? but na0- she )(abs 4a 0(ist n pills it doon- n /u.1 4e i/ the hole husnae t(ans/o(4ed .o4pletelyG It3s no0 a0 4oist n 0ide- n 4a /in)e( slides in easy? Thi(3s a 0a/t .o4in up and ah suppose that3s he( )ettin spun1 o( /anny 2ui.e o( 0hate+e( ye .all it that bi(ds )it? No0 ah )et thisG It3s that da/t 0ee button at the toap that o!ens the holeG That3s a0 these se9B edu.ation .unts needed tae tell yeG P(ess the 0ee button at the toap /o( a bit n the hole opens? Push the .o.1 intae the holeG :i4ple as thatG ,HD THE FACC DID THE CANT: NO JI:T :AD THAT IN THE FI7:T PLACEGGG :o e/ti( a 0hile ah sta(t tae slide 4a .o.1 in- a bit at a ti4e? Ah34 no in a hu((y no0- no no0 that ah3+e )oat the 1no0led)e? Then ah 4o+e it in and oot- up n doon but /u.1 4e i/ thi( isnae a (id 4ist behind 4a eyes n

ah34 /lyin o+e( Tyne.astle n ah34 in a spas4 and the 0hole thin) 2ist lasts /i( aboot /i+e se.onds be/o(e ah sta(t shootin 4a load inside ay he( and it3s /u.1in b(illiant? ,ell a0(i)ht- it 0isnae that )ood (eally- but 0hat a /u.1in (elie/G Fu.1in b(illiantG Gally- a0 they .unts- a0 they /u.1in +i()ins at s.hool? HaG HaG
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No Gally? Pe(( Gally? Fu.1in b(illiant thou)hG Fi/teenG :till unde( the a)eG Jui.e Te((yH It3s p(obably $0 pe( .ent bullshit 0i that .unt? Eh3s 1iddin ehsel/ oanG I4a)ine bein a +i()in? The li1esay 4e n 6illy thou)h- 0e 1en the s.o(e? I That 0is ba((y- ah say? :he3s hudin 4e li1e ah 0is a 0ee laddie- but ah dinnae /eel .o4/y- ah34 a0 (estless n that? Ah34 thin1in aboot 0(itin tae pe(( Gally in the 2ail? ,hat 1in ye say but@ dinnae 0ant ye tae be )ittin a0 dep(essed in thai( ,ee =an- but 4e n the boys- 0e3(e a0 )ittin oo( hole no0 oot he(e and it3s /u.1in ba((yG No0 ah 0ant tae )it 4a .lathes oan n )it :ab(ina ha4e? :he3s sta(tin tae see4 /at n thi(3s a /unny loo1 o0e( he( /a.e? Ah .annae belie+e ah 2ist (ode he(? I Ha+e you done this be/o(eH she as1s- as ah pull a0ay n )it 4a 1e1s n 2eans oan? I Aye- tons ay ti4es- ah tell he(- 4a1in 4asel sound as i/ she3s da/t? I ,hat aboot youH I Na0- it 0is 4a /i(st ti4e ? ? ? :he )ets up? Thi(3s a bit ay blood? It 4ust be .ause 4a .o.1 0is that bi) that it hu(t he(? :he loo1s at it? I That3s 4e no a +i()in any 4ai(- she says- a0 happy? Ah loo1 at 4a .o.1? Thi(3s nae blood oan the /lun1y- o( 4aybe a bit- but it3s no (ed- it3s li1e ah3+e dipped it in so4e .hipBshoap +ine)a(? :ab(ina3s )ettin he( .lathes oan? I Dou3(e a ni.e laddie- Ca(l? De 0i( (eally ni.e tae 4e? A0 the boys at the s.hool n that- ye 1en thi( only a/te( 2ist one thin)- but you 0i( (eally lo+ely- she .o4es o0e( n hu)s 4e? Ah34 /eelin a010a(d n ah dinnae (eally 1en 0hat tae say? Then she )oes up tae the la++y tae )et .leaned up? Ah34 /eelin so(t ay bad n )ood a0 at on.e- 0ishin that ah 0is di//e(ent and then )led that ah34 no at the sa4e ti4e? De ne+e(- e+e( 1no0 ho0 tae be /o( the best? It 0ould be )(eat i/ sha))in 0is li1e in /il4s@ nae tension- silliness- a010a(dness o( /unny s4ells n sti.1y )oo and 0he(e e+e(y .unt beha+ed the4sel+es and 1ent thei( ain 4inds- but you3+e 2ist )oat tae )it by the best ye 1in ah suppose? =ibbe it )its li1e that late(? Ah3+e )oat the .lathes ba.1 oan? Ah34 loo1in) at 4a /a.e in the 4i((o( abo+e the /i(epla.e? Ah loo1 the sa4e- but ha(de(? It3s li1e ah3+e )oat this hea+ie( )(o0th no0- no 2ist bu4B/lu// oan 4a .hin- it3s 4ai( li1e (eal blonde thin 4il1yB0hite? Loo1in in 4a eyes ah see so4ethin)- so4ethin) ah .annae e9plain- but ah hu+nae seen it be/o(e?
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They say that it happens e/ti( yu+ hud yi( hole? Aye- ah34 4ai( li1e a 4an- no 2ist a da/t 0ee boy? I did it- I did it- I did itG No0 ah3+e )oat tae )et :ab(ina oot be/o(e 4y =a n Dad .o4e ba.1? :he3s a ni.e lassie n that- but ah dinnae 0ant anybody tae thin1 0e3(e )aun oot the)ithe(? The t(uth is- ah 0ant tae be li1e Te((y- tae ha+e loads ay di//e(ent bi(ds oan the )o? No 0antin tied doon- eh? Te((y on.e said that a bi(d3s li1e a pintF one oan its ain isnae (eally 4u.h use? Ah 0al1 he( tae the bus stop and she3s .lin)in) ti)htly tae 4e- n pa(t ay 4e 1ens it3s i4po(tant tae he( but ah 2ist 0ant he( bus tae .o4e soas that ah .an be oan 4a ain n thin1 thin)s th(ou)h? Anothe( bus stoaps a.(oss the (oad .o4in intae the s.he4e- n /u.1 4e- 4a 4othe( n /aithe( )et oa/? Ah tu(n a0ay- but ah hea( 4y =a d(un1enly shout- I Ca(lG Ah 0a+e shyly a.(oss the (oad- n :ab(ina as1s- I ,ho3s thatH I Eh- it3s 4uh =a n Dad? I Dou( 4u4 loo1s (eally ni.e- ah li1e the 0ay she3s d(essed? :ab(ina says? This sta(tles 4eF ho0 the /u.1 .an you( =a loo1 ni.eH Ah say nothin)? 6ut ah loo1 o0e( the (oad n the /u.1in ? ? ? the /u.1in ? ? ? thi( /u.1in .o4in o0e( n spoilin e+e(ythin) ? ? ? I Hiya- 4y =a says tae :ab(ina? I I34 =a(ia- Ca(l3s 4u4? I :ab(ina- she says ba.1- a0 shy? I 6eauti/ul na4e- 4y =a )oes- loo1in) at he( 0ith a (eal- al4ost lo+in) s4ile? I I34 Dun.an- :ab(ina- and ah 1en it3s ha(d tae belie+e- a )oodBloo1in) /elly li1e 4e- but that3s 4y laddiehe sha1es he( hand? The .unt .an tell I3+e )oat a bea4e(? I ,e thou)ht 0e3d 0al1 ba.1 and pi.1 up so4e .hips? Dou t0o 0ant us to b(in) you so4e ba.1H I Eh- :ab(ina3s )oat tae )et ha4e- I 0e3(e 2ust 0aitin) on he( bus? I 7i)ht then- 0e3ll no .(a4p yi( style- eh says- and they say )oodbye- 0al1in) doon the (oad? Ah .an hea( 4uh =a3s hi)h- d(un1en lau)hte( as they tu(n the .o(ne(- and a .ho(us o/ us!icious "inds /ae

4a auld 4an? I ,e .an3t )o on this 0eyBheyBhey ? ? ? 0ith suspiBshoBhosB4aBhands ? ? ? I :hhh- Dun.an- 4y =a lau)hs? These auld /u.1e(s ha+e .aused ays total e4ba((ass4ent and ah34 2ust aboot tae apolo)ise tae :ab(ina 0hen she tu(ns tae 4e n sais- a0
1)0

sin.e(e li1es- I Dou( =u4 and Dad a(e b(illiant? I 0ish 4ines 0e(e li1e that? I Aye ??? ah )oes? I Ah 4ean- 4ines a(e a0(i)ht- it3s 2ust that they ne+e( (eally )o oot? He( bus is .o4in)? Ah 1iss he( and p(o4ise that ah3ll see he( so4eti4e in the 0ee1- n ah p(obably 0ill- but ye ne+e( (eally 1en 0ho yi( )aunny 4eet? It3s a )(eat /u.1in li/eG Ah s1ip ha4e a0 e9.ited and ne(+ous- then ah thin1- this is li1e a 0ee lassie- so ah slo0 doon n sta(t bein) .ool? De .annae boun.e a(oond li1e a 0ee bai(n in a p(i4a(yBs.hool play)(ound? Nea(ly /u.1in si9teen? Cunts3 ne+e( belie+e that ye )oat yi( hole unless ye a.t .ool- .ause that3s the best pa(t ay it- no tellin e+e(y .unt ye )oat it- but 4a1in su(e that they 1en- so(tay bein a 5uiet autho(ity oan the sub2e.t? Cause the a.tual (idin itsel/ is o+e((ated- that3s /o( su(e? De see the4 in they se9 boo1s in a0 they di//e(ent positions? Dinnae 1en ho0 they .an be bothe(ed 0i that? =ibbe it )its bette(? Ah hope so? ,hat do you thin1- =( 6la.1- so((y- Cunt Featu(esH I/ the Lo(d 0ills it so- =( E0a(t? Any0ay- I ta1e it no0 that you 0ill o/ .ou(se be 4a1in) an honest 0o4an o/ this :ab(ina )i(l in a )ood Ch(istian 4a((ia)e san.tioned by the di+ine P(esbyte(ian Chu(.h o/ :.otlandH O/ .ou(se not- Cunt Featu(es? I3ll be (idin) e+e(ythin) in si)ht /ae no0 oan? Then a 0et d(iEEle sta(ts up so ah34 ha4e and I34 0aitin) /o( 4y =a and Dad to .o4e ba.1 0i the .hips? Hope they3+e )oat 4e so4e- ah .ould handle that? That3s 4e done it- so4ethin) that3s haunted 4e /o( a)es is no0 a0 so(ted oot- but Gally3s )one and it3ll be a lon) ti4e tae 0ait /o( hi4?

,. It Must

ave *een 1990:
Windo"s 390

itler3s Lo'al

=a(ia E0a(t slipped a /oot out o/ he( shoe and let he( toes 1nead the .a(pet3s thi.1 pile? The lu9u(ious /u(nishin)s o/ he( /(iends3 ho4e had 4u.h in .o44on 0ith thei( o0n? The 6i((ells3 house- li1e the E0a(ts30as /itted out 0ith opti4isti. (edundan.y .ash- a state4ent o/ .on/iden.e- /aith o( hope- that so4ethin) 0ould tu(n up- so4ethin) to se.u(e this ne0 status 5uo? The hi)hli)ht o/ the (oo4 0as a hu)e )oldBlea/ed 4i((o(- 0hi.h hun) abo+e the /i(epla.e? It see4ed to th(o0 the 0hole (oo4 ba.1 at you? =a(ia /ound it too bi)@ 4aybe she 0as still +ain enou)h to (e)a(d 4iddleBa)e and 4i((o(s as uneasy bed/ello0s? :and(a b(o1e he( (e+e(ie by .o4in) o+e( and (e/illin) he( )lass? =a(ia /ound he(sel/ 4a(+ellin) at the 4ani.u(ed pe(/e.tion o/ he( /(iend3s hands@ they loo1ed as i/ they belon)ed to a .hild? They had .o4e (ound /o( a 4eal and a d(in1F Dun.an and =a(ia E0a(t- .o4e to see thei( old /(iends ,ullie and :and(a 6i((ell? It 4ade =a(ia /eel 4ildly asha4ed- but this 0as the /i(st ti4e she3d been ba.1 do0n to the s.he4e sin.e they3d 4o+ed up to 6abe(ton =ains- nea(ly th(ee yea(s a)o? The thin) 0as- 4ost o/ the people they3d been /(iendly 0ith had )(adually 4o+ed out? And =a(ia 0as al0ays )oin) on about the people that had 4o+ed in to (epla.e the4- ho0 they didn3t ha+e the sa4e /eelin) /o( the a(ea- the(e 0as no .o44unity spi(it le/t- it 0as a du4pin) )(ound /o( so.ial p(oble4s and it had )one do0nhill? :he 0as a0a(e that this line o/ .on+e(sation dep(essed Dun.an? Thin)s had .han)ed so 4u.h- but the E0a(ts and the 6i((ells (e4ained .lose /(iends? The t0o .ouples had ne+e( been )(eat ones /o( )oin) to ea.h othe(3s houses? It 0as usually Ne0 Dea( o( spe.ial o..asions only?
1)/

They )ene(ally 0ent out to so.ialise- 4eetin) in so4e loun)e ba(- o( in the Ta(tan Club o( the 6=C? Dun.an had to ad4i(e the .han)es ,ullie had 4ade sin.e he3d bou)ht the house /(o4 the .oun.il? The (epla.e4ent 0indo0s and doo(s 0e(e p(edi.table enou)h- but ,ullie and :and(a had see4ed to ha+e a.5ui(ed a style that you asso.iated 0ith youn)e( people? The )laEed 0ash on the 0alls had (epla.ed 0ood.hip and Habitat /un.tionalis4 had (epla.ed tea1- but it still st(an)ely see4ed to /it the4? ,ullie had stalled in buyin) the house until su.h (esistan.e be.a4e an e4pty and /utile )estu(e? 7ents (ose and the dis.ounted pu(.hase p(i.e /o( tenants /ell until he 0as- as 4any told hi4- .uttin) o// his nose to spite his /a.e? E+entually )(o0in) 0ea(y o/ bein) openly sti)4atised by othe(s on his side o/ the sho(t (oad that split the old tene4ents /(o4 the /lats- ,ullie (elu.tandy 2oined in the (epla.e4entBdoo(sBandB0indo0s pa(ty?

It 0as hinted that he and :and(a 0ould be bette( o// o+e( the (oad in the /lats- lea+in) the solid old tene4ents /o( those 0ho 0anted to 3)et on3? ,ullie had 5uite en2oyed bein) obstinate and holdin) out /o( a 0hile- until :and(a had sta(ted on hi4- addin) he( +oi.e to the othe(s? No0 ,ullie 0as )lad he3d (elented? :in.e he3d ta1en the plun)e and spent his (edundan.y 4oney on the house and the 0indo0s- :and(a 0as sleepin) a)ain- 0ithout al.ohol o( pills? :he 0as loo1in) bette(? :he3d put on 0ei)ht- but /attish 4iddleBa)e suited he( bette( than 0ashedBout and s.(a))y? :and(a still tended to0a(ds bein) hi)hly st(un) and ,ullie )ot the b(unt o/ this? 6illy 0as a0ay /(o4 ho4e lon) a)o- thou)h 7obe(t 0as still the(e? He( boysF she3d al0ays put the4 on a pedestal? :o4eti4es ,ullie had a hea+y hea(t 0hen he sa0 the di//e(en.e 0ith Dun.an and =a(ia? The 0ay they still loo1ed at ea.h othe(- ho0 they 0e(e al0ays the .ent(e o/ ea.h othe(3s 0o(ld? Ca(l 0as a 4u.hBlo+ed )uest at thei( pa(ty- but it 0as their pa(ty? ,ullie- on the othe( hand- 1ne0 that his sons had- on appea(an.e- instantly displa.ed hi4 in :and(a3s a//e.tions? No0 ,ullie 6i((ell o/ten /elt useless? 7edundan.y see4ed to be a te(4 0hi.h 4eant 4o(e than 2ust the loss o/ a 2ob? He3d lea(ned to .oo1- so that he3d ha+e 4eals /o( :and(a 0hen she .a4e in /(o4 he( pa(tBti4e 2ob as a ho4e help? It 0asn3t enou)h thou)h? ,ullie had (et(eated 4o(e into his o0n 0o(ld- and this 0as solidi/ied by his se.ond
1))

4a2o( pu(.hase- a .o4pute(- and he 0as ta1in) )(eat deli)ht in sho0in) Dun.an ho0 it 0o(1ed? Li1e ,ullie- Dun.an 0as /indin) li/e ha(d 0ithout a 2ob- st(u))lin) to pay o// the 4o(t)a)e on thei( s4all house in 6abe(ton =ains? Had Dun.an )ot a )ood- solid .oun.il house li1e ,ullie3s and :and(a3s he 0ould ha+e stayed lo.ally- bou)ht it and done it up? The /lats 0e(e useless thou)h- nothin) .ould be done 0ith the4? 6ut it 0as ti)ht? Ca(l helped out- he 0as doin) 0ell 0ith his .lub and his dee2ayin)? Dun.an didn3t li1e it 0hen the laddie )a+e hi4 4oney@ he had his o0n li/e- his o0n pla.e in to0n? It had sa+ed hi4 /(o4 (epossession on one o..asion thou)h? 6ut that 4usi.G The p(oble4 0as that the stu// he played 0asn3t (eal 4usi.- it 0as 2ust a /lash in the pan- and soon people 0ould 0ant the (eal thin) a)ain? It 0asn3t a p(ope( 2ob and it 0ouldn3t last- but then a)ain- 0hat 2obs 0e(e p(ope( 2obs no0H In so4e 0ays ,ullie and Dun.an both ad4itted that they 0e(e )lad to see the ba.1 o/ 0o(1? The old plant still st(u))led alon) as a hi)hBte.h unit- e4ployin) only a hand/ul o/ people? Pa(ado9i.ally- .onditions had )ot a lot 0o(seand 4ost o/ all- the /e0 su(+i+in) olde( hands a)(eed- the /un had )one out o/ it? The(e 0as an a((o)an.e and s4u)ness about the o()anisation- and it /elt li1e bein) ba.1 at s.hool? =a(ia 0as in the 1it.hen- helpin) :and(a 0ith the lasa)ne? The 4othe(s sha(ed a .on.e(n /o( thei( sons? The 0o(ld no0 had a )(eate( supe(/i.ial 0ealth than the one they )(e0 up in? Det so4ethin) had been lost? It see4ed to the4 a .(uelle(- ha(she( pla.e- de+oid o/ +alues? ,o(se- it see4ed that youn) people- despite thei( /unda4ental de.en.y- no0 had to buy into a 4indBset 0hi.h 4ade +i.iousness and t(ea.he(y .o4e easy? The 0o4en b(ou)ht the /ood to the table- then the bottles o/ 0ine- thou)h Dun.an and ,ullie loo1ed at ea.h othe( and .lun) (eassu(in)ly to thei( (ed tins o/ =.E0an3s E9po(t? They all sat do0n to thei( 4eal? I It3s a0 that ye hea( aboot at (a+es and .lubsF d(u)s- d(u)s- d(u)s? =a(ia shoo1 he( head? :and(a nodded in e4pathy? Dun.an had hea(d all this be/o(e? L:D and .annabis 0e(e supposed to be dest(oyin) the 0o(ld ba.1 in the si9ties- yet he(e they all 0e(e? 6ut L:D hadn3t shut do0n /a.to(ies and 4ines and shipya(ds? It hadn3t dest(oyed .o44unities? D(u) abuse see4ed li1e one o/ the sy4pto4s o/ a disease- (athe( than the illness itsel/? He hadn3t told =a(ia- but Ca(l had been on at hi4 to t(y one o/ those E.stasy pills1)#

and he3d been a lot 4o(e te4pted than he3d led his son to belie+e? =aybe he still 0ould? 6ut Dun.an 0as /a( 4o(e .on.e(ned about 0hat he sa0 as the poo( 5uality o/ 4usi. today? I That3s no 4usi.- it3s nonsense? :tealin) othe( people3s stu// and sellin) it ba.1 tae the4? The/t- That.he(ite 4usi.- that3s 0hat that is? That.he(3s bloody .hild(en- (i)ht enou)h- he )(u4bled? :and(a 0as thin1in) about 6illy? He 0asn3t into d(u)s- but he( 0ee boyF batte(in) people /o( a li+in)? :he didn3t 0ant hi4 to tu(n p(o at the bo9in)- but he 0as doin) 0ell and 4a1in) it bi)? His last /i)ht 0as /eatu(ed on :T83s .ight 2ight. An e9plosi+e +i.to(y- the pundit had .alled it? 6ut she 0o((ied? Dou .ouldn3t )o on batte(in) people be.ause e+entually you )ot batte(ed ba.1? I E+en 0hen thi( no a(oond d(u)s- ye still 0o((y? Ah 4ean- 6illy 0i that bo9inF eh .ould be 1illed- 0ith 2ust one pun.h? I 6ut he3s /it- he isnae a(ound d(u)s- =a(ia a()ued? I That has to be )ood in this day and a)e? I Aye- ah suppose- :and(a a)(eed- I but ah still 0o((y? One pun.h? :he shi+e(ed- li/tin) a /o(1/ul o/ /ood to he( 4outh? I That3s 0hat 4othe(s a(e /o(- ,ullie said .hee(/ully to Dun.an- )ettin) the /(oEenBeye t(eat4ent /(o4 :and(a as a (esult? ,hat 0as he( husband on aboutH Had he not seen his idol=uha44ad AliH Had he not seen 0hat bo9in) had done to the 4anH

=a(ia sat indi)nantly e(e.t in he( seat? I :ee they3(e a0 )oin) to =uni.h- 0ith 0ee And(e0 and ? ? ? he( eyes and +oi.e lo0e(ed- I that Te((y La0son? I Te((y3s a0(i)ht- Dun.an said- I eh3s no a bad laddie? Eh3s )oat that ne0 lassie no0- and she see4s ni.e? Ah (an intae the4- up the toon- he told the4? Dun.an al0ays stu.1 up /o( Te((y? G(anted- the boy 0as a bit o/ a (o)ue- but he hadn3t had an easy li/e and he 0as a bi)Bhea(ted laddie? I Ah dunno- :and(a said? I That Te((y .an be a 0ild bu))e(? I Na0- it3s li1e oo( 7obe(t- ,ullie .ontended? I A0 that stu// 0i the .asuals and that- it3s 2ust pa(t ay )(o0in) up? The Jubilee Gan)? The 8alde( 6oys? Then the Doun) Leith Tea4 and the Doun) =ental D(yla0? No0 it3s the .asuals? :o.ial histo(y- youn) boys )(o0in up? I That3s the t(ouble thou)h- eh3s )(o0in) up 2ust li1e that La0sonG That3s 0hae eh loo1s up tae- :and(a spat? I He )ot a((ested /o( /ootball t(ouble as 0ell? Ah 4indG Ah 4ind a0(i)ht? I They 2ust pi.1 up anybody at these )a4es no0 thou)h- :and(a- Dun.an assu(ed he(- as he /elt an)e( 0ell in his o0n b(east? I It3s li1e
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oo( Ca(l 0i that stupid bloody ? ? ? the bloody idiot- 0i that da/t NaEi salute in the pape(? It3s 2ist silly- stupid boys sho0in oa/ 0i thi( 4ates? They 4ean nae he(4? They3+e a0 been de4onised oot ay all p(opo(tion tae ta1e people3s 4inds o// 0hat this Go+e(n4ent3s been daein /o( yea(s- the real hooli)anis4? Hooli)anis4 tae the health se(+i.e- hooli)anis4 tae edu.ation ? ? ? Dun.an .au)ht =a(ia and :and(a3s (aised eyes and ,ullie3s lau)h- I :o((y /ol1s- that3s 4e )ittin oan 4a soapboa9 a)ain- he said sheepishly- I but 0hat ah34 t(yin tae say- :and(a- is that you( 7ab3s a (e(( laddie- n eh3s )oat a )ood heid oan ehs shoodi(s? He3s a lot 4ai( sense than tae )et in+ol+ed in anythin) (eally bad? I That3s (i)ht- :and(a- listen tae Dun.an- ,ullie i4plo(ed? :and(a 0as ha+in) none o/ it? :he put he( /o(1 do0n? I Ah3+e )ot one son beatin up 4en in the (in) /o( a li+in- and the othe( daein it in the st(eets /o( /unG ,hat is it 0i you stupid- da/t bloody 4en- she sni//ed and (ose tea(/ully- sto(4in) into the 1it.hen- /ollo0ed by =a(ia 0ho tu(ned ba.1 and pointed at Dun.an- I And you( son a.tin li1e a /as.ist bla.1shi(tG Aye- that Te((y3s hud a ha(d li/e? :oas D+onne- n she3s tu(ned oot a0(i)ht? :oas 0ee :heena Gallo0ay- n she3s ne+e( been in the 2ail o( oot ay he( heid oan d(u)s li1e the Gallo0ay laddieG =a(ia /ollo0ed :and(a? ,ullie and Dun.an (olled thei( eyes at ea.h othe(? I One nil tae the )i(ls- ,ull- Dun.an said sa(doni.ally? I Dinnae 4ind :and(a- ,ullie apolo)ised to his /(iend- I she3s al0ays li1e this e/ti( one ay 6illy3s /i)hts? Dinnae )et 4e 0(on)- it does 0o((y 4e- but eh 1no0s 0hat eh3s daein? I Aye- =a(ia3s the sa4e? :he sa0 a0 this stu// aboot Ca(l in one ay they 4usi. pape(s- tal1in nonsense aboot a0 the d(u)s eh ta1es? Eh telt 4e that it3s a0 (ubbish- they 2ist say it /o( publi.ity- .ause it3s 0hat the p(ess 0ant tae hea(? Eh used tae .o4e in so4e states be/o(e eh )oat intae a0 this (a+e n /antasy tablet stu//? No0 eh loo1s (eally /it? Ah3+e seen u4 so4e 4o(nins 0hen eh3s been up hal/ the ni)ht- no t(a.e ay a han)o+e(? I/ it3s 1illin u4 then it3s 4a1in a bloody )ood 2ob ay it- that3s a0 ah 1in say- Dun.an nodded and loo1ed o// into the distan.e? I Ah3ll tell ye thou)h- ,ullie- ah .ould3+e 1illed hi4 that ti4e 0i that salute in the /ecord. Ah 4ean- 4a /aithe( doon in Ay(shi(e- ,ullie- eh loast hal/ ehs /u.1in le) /i)htin they basta(ds ? ? ? Aye- ah too1 a d(i+e doon thai(- and eh didnae say nothin)- but ah 1ne0 eh3d seen it? =a auld /aithe(- the disappoint4ent oan ehs /a.e? It 0id3+e b(o1e yi( he(t ? ? ? Dun.an see4ed al4ost (eady to .(y hi4sel/? I Ne+e( 4ind1)*

he lau)hed- steelin) hi4sel/ and pointin) th(ou)h to the 1it.hen- I let the4 hu+ a 0ee sni+el? De )ot 6illy3s /i)ht oan +ideoH I Aye- ,ullie said- pi.1in) up the handset? I ,at.h this ? ? ? The i4a)e /li.1ed onto the s.(een? The(e 0as 6illy 6i((ell- /a.e set in ha(d .on.ent(ation- sta(in) a.(oss at Co+ent(y3s 6obby A(.he(? Then the bell 0ent and he /le0 out o/ his .o(ne(?

*ill# *irrell. The Hills
Ah34 /lyin he(e no0- e+en thou)h the(e3s a /ai( 0ind up? I34 (unnin) (i)ht intae the bu))e(- st(ai)ht up the hill- al0ays )ettin) the hills in- daein the distan.e- li1e 7onnie says- al0ays li1e 7onnie says? We )et the hills in? We dae the distan.e? We build up sta4ina? Al0ays 0e@ it3s b(utal? And in the (in) as 0ell- We .an hit ha(de( than that boy? His pun.hes .annae 0o((y 's. 6ut I3+e ne+e( seen 7onnie ta1e a pun.h in the (in) a/te( the bello( 0ithout a head)ua(d? Nope- so((y 7on- 0e3(e al0ays alone in the (in)? It3s steepenin) and I .an see the top- and all the obsta.les in 4y path? Al4ost all o/ the4? =o()an3s .o4in up- but I .an3t e+en loo1 at hi4- I34 )oin) (i)ht th(ou)h hi4- and I thin1 0e both 1no0 it? Just li1e 6obby A(.he(- lyin by the side ay the (oad behind 4e? A0 they a(e is steppin) stones tae Cli// Coo1? I34 .o4in) /o( you Coo1ie- and you3(e )aunny )et 0ell done?

Old Coo1ie- Custo4 House3s /inest? I li1e the boy as 0ell- p(obably 4o(e than I .an a//o(d tae? 6ut by the ti4e 0e )et tae ea.h othe( in the (in)- 0e 0on3t li1e ea.h othe(? ,hoe+e( 0ins- 0e3ll ha+e a d(in1 n .hat aboot it a/te(? That3ll be (i)ht- 0e3ll ne+e( spea1 tae ea.h othe( a)ain ootside th(eats and insults? Na0- 0e 0ill? It3ll )et bette(? It did the last ti4e- 0hen ah done hi4 as an a4ateu(? I le/t it late tae )o p(o- but no too late- Coo1ie? Ah3ll dae ye a)ain? The in.line3s (isin) and I34 /eelin) it no0 in the .al+es- 7onnie3s )ot a thin) about .al+es- le)s- /eet? 3The best pun.h .o4es not /(o4 the soul but the soles-3 eh 1eeps tellin 4e- (i)ht up th(ou)h the body- a(4- doon tae the hand and ontae the .hin? He3s had 4e daein a lot o/ .o4bination 0o(1 has 7onnie? He
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(e.1ons ah (ely too 4u.h on the one bi) shot tae pit the4 oot? Ah /eel it peyin o// but- it hus tae be said? Also 4y de/en.es 0o((y hi4F I34 al0ays )oin) /o(0a(d- al0ays .uttin) o// the (in)- usin) 4a po0e(stal1in)- huntin) the4 .lo0n? 7onnie tells 4e that 0hen ah .o4e up a)ainst (eal .lass ah3ll need to ba.1pedal so4eti4es? Ah nod- but ah 1en the 1ind o/ /i)hte( ah a4? ,hen ah sta(t )aun ba.10a(ds it3ll be ti4e to 0(ap it? Ah34 ne+e( )aunny be that 1ind o/ /i)hte(? ,hen 4y (e/le9es )o and I sta(t ta1in shots- that3s it- I34 (i)ht a0ay /ae the )a4e? Cause the real .ou(a)e is tae put you( ain e)o on hold and stoap at the (i)ht ti4e? The 4aist patheti. si)ht in the 0o(ld is a s.abby auld /i)hte( bein) to(tu(ed li1e a 0ounded bull by so4e youn)ste( he3d ha+e 0hipped in his sleep a /e0 yea(s ea(lie(? =a1e the top- and onto the slo0 de.line o/ the ba.1 (oad do0n to0a(ds the .a(? Ta1in .a(e no tae pill any 4us.les on the 0ey doonhill? The sun3s daEElin) 4a eyes? As the )(oond le+els o// in /(ont ay ays- ah /inish on a sp(int- .(ashin) th(ou)h the spo(tin) hi)h- 4a1in 4e /eel li1e I34 .o4in) up on a pill? Ah3+e stoaped and ah34 /illin) 4a lun)s 0ith .ool ai(- thin1in) that i/ Coo1ie t(ies to do the sa4e in Custo4 House o( =o()an in Po(t Talbot- the poo( .unts3ll no last lon) enou)h tae )et intae the (in) 0i 4e? And 7onnie3s to0ellin) the s0eat o// 4e- helpin) 4e 0(ap up li1e he3s a ne0 4othe( and I34 his /i(stbo(n? ,e3(e o// in the .a( ba.1 doon tae the .lub? The(e3s a lot o/ silen.es 0ith 7onnie? I li1e that- .ause I li1e ti4e to )et 4y head (i)ht? I don3t li1e it 0hen the shite o/ 4ode(n li/e /lies th(ou)h you( nut? It3s b(utal and it d(ains yi( ene()y? The (eal /i)hts a(e /ou)ht in yi( heid- that al0ays hus tae be (i)ht? And you .an t(ain you(sel/ in you( heid as 0ell as you( body@ t(ain you(sel/ tae si/t oot o( bu(y a0 the shite you )et bo4ba(ded 0i daily? Fo.us? Con.ent(ate? Dinnae let the4 in? E+e(? O/ .ou(se you .an ta1e the easy 0ay oot and /ill you(sel/ 0i s4a.1 o( be++y li1e so4e ay the4 (oond he(e? They )a+e up yea(s a)o- the sad lose(s? De lose p(ide in ye(sel/ n you3+e )oat no0t? Ah hope Gally3s o// that shite /o( )ood? The E3s a(e di//e(ent- but naebody 1ens 0hat they3ll dae tae ye in the lon) (un? =ind you- e(erybody 1ens 0hat /a)s and bee(3ll dae in the lon) (un@ they3ll 1ill ye- and naebody3s in a hu((y tae ban these? :o 0hat a(e E3s )aunny dae that3s so di//e(entF 1ill ye t0i.eH
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7onnie3s still no spea1in? :uits 4e /ine? The 0o(ld loo1s )ood i/ yi( oan one- up dan.in) tae Ca(l3s 4usi. at his .lub- althou)h he3s )ot a 0ee bit too (oboti.- 0hat3s it he .alls it- too te.hnoBheided /o( 4eF ah li1ed it bette( 0hen he 0as on that 4ai( soul/ul t(ip? :till- it3s his tunes and he3s daein a0(i)ht? Gettin) noti.ed- )ettin) (espe.t? Goin (oond the shoaps 0i hi4- the .lubs- n ye 1in see it3s no t0o s.he4ies any4ai(- it3s NB:IGN the DJ and 6usiness 6i((ell- the bo9e(? A0 0e3(e )ittin is the sa4e (espe.t that oo( /aithe(s )oat /o( bein t(ades4en- /o( 0o(1in in a /a.to(y? No0 people li1e that- punte(s that 0e(e on.e seen as the salt ay the ea(th- a(e ta1en /o( 4u)s? 7onnie3s one ay that b(eed? Peyed oa/ /ae the do.1ya(ds in 7osyth yea(s a)o? The /i)ht )a4e3s his li/e no0? =ibbe it ey0is 0is? =e n Ca(l u(nae ta1en /o( 4u)s thou)h? 6ut see 0i the E3sF 0e do need tae .ool it? ,e a0 dae too 4u.h4ibbe no Te((y- tae be /ai( tae hi4- 0hi.h people seldo4 a(e? Aye- the 0o(ld loo1s )ood 0hin yi( E3d but 4ibbe the 2un1y 0i ehs s4a.1 o( the 2ai1ey 0i ehs pu(ple tin ay Tennent3s o( ehs boatil ay .heap 0ine said the sa4e thin) at the sta(t? :ilen.e is )olden- eh 7onnie boy? This is di//e(ent /ae 4aist ay 7onnie3s silen.es thou)h? The(e3s so4ethin) on ehs 4ind and ah 1en 0hat it is? Ah tu(n tae /a.e u4- ehs sil+e( hai(- ehs .oupon@ (ed- li1e a (eal d(in1e(3s /a.e? The lau)h is that 7onnie3s a teetotalle(- and it3s a0 hi)h blood p(essu(e? Nae lu.1 at a0? Dou3d ne+e( thin1 it- .ause 7onnie3s a 4an ay /e0 0o(ds? It 4ust a0 be )aun oan inside? =aybe ah3ll )o the sa4e 0ey- they say 0e3(e si4ila(- o/ten ta1en /o(

/aithe( n son- 7onnie says? I don3t li1e hea(in) that- eh3s no 4a /aithe(- n eh ni+i( 0ill be? 6ut thin1 ay it thou)hF (unnin ei)ht 4iles e+e(y day and Jui.e Te((y3s )aunny hu+ a bette( .o4ple9ion thin 4e in a /e0 yea(s3 ti4e? Nae lu.1? 6ut tae Fal1i(1 0i a0 that? 6(utal? N 7onnie spea1sG Hud that /(ont pa)e (i)ht enou)h? I Ah 0ish ye3d (e.onside( aboot this holiday- 6illy- eh sais? I ,e need tae 4a1e sa.(i/i.es- son? That ,E a)ain? I 6oo1ed up- eh- ah tell u4? I Ah 4ean- 7onnie .ontinues- I 0e (eally need tae 4aintain ou( .ondition? =o()an3s nae 4u)? Eh3s )oat sta4ina and eh3s )ot he(t? 7e4inds 4e ay that 6obby A(.he( boy- he 0as )a4e? 6obby A(.he( /(o4 Co+ent(y? =y last /i)ht? He 0as )a4e- but I
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stopped hi4 in th(ee (ounds? It3s )ood tae be )a4e- but it helps i/ ye .an bo9 a 0ee bit n a0 n yi( 2a0 isnae li1e Edinbu()h C(ystal? As soon as that (i)ht hoo1 .onne.ted- ah tu(ned a0ay n 0is headin /o( 4a .o(ne(? 6usiness /inished? I 6oo1ed up eh- ah (epeat? I ,e3(e only a0ay /o( t0o 0ee1s? 7onnie ta1es a sha(p .o(ne( as the .a( 0obbles a.(oss the .obblestones to0a(ds the )y4? The )y43s in an old 8i.to(ian buildin) that loo1s li1e a shithouse /(o4 the outside? It .an /eel li1e a to(tu(e .ha4be( on the inside, 0hen 7onnie pits ye th(ou)h yi( pa.es? Eh stoaps the .a( n 4a1es nae 4o+e tae )it oot? ,hen I )o tae 4o+e- eh )(abs 4a 0(ist? I ,e3+e )ot tae 4aintain ou( .ondition- 6illy- n ah .annae see ho0 0e .an dae that 0hen you3(e a0ay at a bee( /esti+al in Ge(4any /o( t0o 0ee1s 0i the .(o0d ay 0aste(s you hin) aboot 0i? This is nippin 4a heid? I Ah3ll be /ine- ah e9plain tae hi4 on.e a)ain? I Ah3ll 1eep the (unnin )aun n hoo1 up 0i a )y4 o0e( thai(e- ah tell hi4? This shite is a0 0e3+e tal1ed aboot /o( the last 0ee1? I ,hat aboot that lassie ay you(sH ,hat does she hu+ tae say aboot itH One thin) aboot 7onnie- /o( a boy that says p(a.ti.ally no0t- eh (eally 1ens ho0 tae o+e(step the 4a(1? ,hat does Anthea sayH The sa4e as 7onnie? 8e(y little? I That3s 4a business? Tell ye 0hat but- yi( soundin li1e a 0ee lassie yi(sel? Gie it a (est? 7onnie /(o0ns- then )oes a0 that 0ist/ul 0ey- loo1in ahead oot the 0inds.(een? Ah dinnae li1e tal1in tae u4 li1e that- it disnae dae eithe( ay us any )ood? De 4a1e yi( ain de.isions in li/e? People 1in )ie ad+i.e- aye- /ai( enou)h? 6ut they should hu+ the sense tae 1en that on.e yi( 4ind3s 4ade up- that3s it? :o 2ust shut up? I I/ ah hud ye t0o yea(s ea(lie(- ye3d3+e been Eu(opean Cha4pion by no0- and ye3d3+e been up /o( a title shot at the bi) yin- 7onnie says? I Aye- ah say 5uite .oldly- .uttin hi4 oa/? Ah34 no )ittin intae this nonsense a)ain? Tae 4e it3s dis(espe.tin 4a auld 4an n 4a auld lady? =a /aithe( )ot 4e that app(enti.eship and it 4eant a lot tae hi4? =y =a didnae 0ant 4e tae bo9@ e+e(- /ull stop? And tu(nin) p(o- /i)htin) /o( 4oneyF that 0as (eally .(ossin) the line /o( he(? 7onnie 1ept at 4e tae tu(n p(o thou)h- 0e hu+ tae /ollay oo( d(ea4s- he said? The ,E a)ain? The thin) that 7onnie3 ne+e( (eally )it ehs heid (oond is that it 0as 4a /aithe(- no hi4- that 0is the .ause
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ay 4e )aun p(o/essional? ,hen eh too1 ays doon tae London- tae KP7 that :atu(day ni)ht oan the ei)hth ay June $#&? 6a((y =.Gui)an +e(sus Eusebio Ped(oEa? ,e 0ent 0i 4a An.le Andy 0ho steys doon thai( at :taines? Ah 4ind ay the t(a//i. oan that A9b(id)e 7oadus oan the 20% bus- .(a0lin alon)- 0o((yin) that 0e3d 4iss the /i)ht? ,hen 0e )oat the(e thi( 0is t0entyBsi9 thousand I(ish4en t(yin) tae )et in? Ped(oEa 0as the )uy ah 0anted tae see- .ause eh 0is the best? Nineteen su..ess/ul tide de/en.es? Ah thou)ht eh 0is in+in.ible? Ah li1ed =.Gui)an- thou)ht eh 0is a ni.e )uy- but no 0ey 0is eh )aunny beat The =an? =.Gui)an e+en had the 0hite pea.e /la)- .ause eh 0isnae intae a0 that t(i.olou( o( (id hand ay Alste( .(ap? Tae 4e thou)h- it see4ed li1e an a.t ay su((ende( be/o(e eh3d e+en /lun) a pun.h? Then this auld boy .a4e intae the (in)- late( oan 0e /ound out it 0is =.Gui)an3s /aithe(- and eh sta(ted sin)in) Danny Boy. The 0hole .(o0d 2oined in- a0 they 6el/ast Catholi.s and P(otestants the)ithe(- and ah loo1ed o0e( at 4a /aithe( n it 0is the /i(st and only ti4e ah e+e( sa0 tea(s in ehs eyes? =a An.le Andy n a0? ,hat a ba((y 4o4ent that 0is? Then the bell 0ent- and ah thou)ht Ped(oEa 0ould 2ust spoil the pa(ty (i)ht a0ay? 6ut an a4aEin) thin) happened? =.Gui)an /le0 at hi4 and s0a(4ed all o+e( the boy? Ah thoat eh3d 2ist pun.h ehsel oot- but by the se.ond eh /ound ehs (an)e and eh 0is /i(in) .o4binations a0 o0e( the pla.e? De 1ept 0aitin /o( the 0ee 4an tae (un oot ay stea4- but eh ne+e( did- eh 2ust d(o+e (e4o(selessly intae the )ad)e- and eh 0isnae silly eithe(eh 0is usin the heid as 0ell as the hea(t- still th(o0in) the .o4binations but 1eepin the de/en.es st(on)pushin) Ped(oEa ba.1? =.Gui)an3s lon) ai(4s- ehs a010a(d stan.e@ t(yin tae hit u4 4ust3+e been li1e t(yin tae )it the ba0 oa/ Cenny Dal)lish in the penalty boa9? Ped(oEa had been a )(eat .ha4pion- but ah 0at.hed hi4

a)e li1e /u.1 that ni)ht at Lo/tus 7oad? A/te( the /i)ht 0e sat 0i a .a((yBoot 4y An.le Andy had )ot /ae a (a44ed pub 0hi.h had stayed open all ni)ht? ,e 2ust sat the(e- unde( so4e t(ees in :hephe(d3s 6ush G(een- en2oyin) the at4osphe(e- tal1in) about the /i)ht- the in.(edible ni)ht 0e3d been a pa(t o/? That 0as 0hen ah thou)ht- 0ell- ah 0ouldnae 4ind a bit ay that? Ah3d been bo9in /i( yea(s n )aun tae /i)hts /i( a)es? It 0is ey0is the /itba /i(st /i( 4e thou)h? E+en 0hen it 0is ob+ious ah 0is a bette( bo9e(? Fitba )a+e ays no0t thou)h@ one s.abby t(ial /o( Dun/e(4line- a yea( in the East senio(s 0i C(ai)(oyston?
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It 0is a 0aste ay ti4e- 0ell no (eally- .ause ah en2oyed it- but ah 0anted 4ai(? :o no0 0e3(e .e(tainly /ollo0in) 7onnie3s d(ea4s? And aye- 4aybe ah did 0ait too lon)? The 4oney3s been a0(i)ht- but it3s the (espe.t ye )et that does it /o( 4e? Ah li1e it no0 0hen people .all 4e 6usiness? At /i(st it 0is b(utal@ it used tae e4ba((ass ays- but no0 it3s sta(tin) tae /it? It3s sta(tin tae /it li1e a )lo+e? ,e )et out the .a( and intae the .lub 0he(e ah sho0e( and .han)e? Co4in) out all /(esh- ah34 0at.hin) 0ee Eddie Ni.ol in the (in)- spa((in) 0ith so4e 4on1ey he3s pishin) all o+e(? I don3t 1no0 ( about Eddie thou)h? E9.ellent (in).(a/t? Aye- 0hen he3s )ood- he3s )ood- but you sense a tentati+eness about hi4 so4eti4es- it3s as i/ he 1no0s that- (eally soon- so4ebody3s )oin) to ban2o hi4 and that this latest boy in /(ont o/ hi4 4i)ht 2ust be the one? The(e3s a )uy tal1in) to 7onnie- in a .(ea4 su44e( suit o/ li)ht but e9pensi+e .loth? He3s )ot a nu4be(Bone sha+ed head and eh3s 0ea(in) li)htB(ea.ti+e shades? As ah34 app(oa.hin hi4 I34 thin1in) that the suit 0ould loo1 )ood oan a bette( 4an? I 6usiness- he says e9tendin) his hand? It3s Gill/illan- and eh3s 0ide as they .o4e? Eh3s Po0e(3s 4an- 0ho3s also a sponso(- as 7onnie 1eeps (e4indin) 4e? He )i+es 4e the 1ind o/ ha(d )(ip that aulde( (ad)e types li1e tae )ie you- as a da/t 0ideo test? Dou pull the4 up about it and they )o- 3It3s 2ust a handsha1e-3 as i/ tae say- 0e3(e a0 4en the)ithe(- n a0 that shite? This 0an1e(3s (eally di))in) in thou)h? I point at it 0ith 4a /(ee hand? I Dou )oat an en)a)e4ent (in) in the othe( handH ,hat3s a0 this abootH ah as1? Eh b(e1s o// ehs )(ip? I It3s 2ist a handsha1e- eh lau)hs? I let 4y hand /all? I =a hands a(e /o( a 2ob ay 0o(1? Thi( no /o( so4ebody tae t(y n sho0 ho0 0ide they a(e- ah say- loo1in) st(ai)ht at hi4? I :ettle doon- 6illy- 7onnie says? Gill/illan pun.hes 4e li)htly on the shoulde(? I Dinnae settle u4 doon too 4u.h 7onnie- that3s 0hat 4a1es u4 6usiness 6i((ell- that3s 0hat3s )aunny 4a1e u4 .ha4p- eh 6illyH Ta1e no bullshit- eh s4iles? I34 still loo1in at the tosse(- (i)ht in ehs eye? The bla.1 bit? It e9pands- and his lips 5ui+e( a /(a.tion? I Ayeah34 )lad 0i( a)(eed that3s 0hat a0 that 0is- ah say? Eh disnae li1e that? Then eh s4iles a)ain n 0in1s- n points at ays? I Ah hope you3+e been thin1in aboot
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4a p(oposition- 6illy? The 6usiness 6a(? Li1e it o( no- you3(e a na4e no0 in the .ity? A .eleb(ity? Dou( /i)hts ha+e .aptu(ed the i4a)ination? I Ah34 a0ay oan holiday ne9t 0ee1? ,e3ll tal1 0hen ah )it ba.1- ah tell hi4? Gill/illan nods slo0ly? I Na0- na0? Ah (eally thin1 0e should tal1 no0- 6illy? Ah3+e )oat so4ebody 0hae 0ants tae 4eet ye? It3s no )aunny ta1e lon)? 7e4e4be(- 0e3(e a0 on the sa4e side- eh s4iles? Then eh tu(ns tae 7onnie I Ha+e a 0ee 0o(d he(e- eh 7onnie- eh sais? 7onnie nods- and Gill/illan sta(ts 4o+in) a0ay- o0e( tae 0he(e Eddie Ni.ol and the othe( boy a(e spa((in)? ,hispe(in) at ays in a lo0 hiss- 7onnie says- I De dinnae 0ant tae piss hi4 o//- 6illy- thi(3s nae need /o( it? Ah sh(u) at that? I =ibbe thi( is- 4ibbe thi( isnae- ah tell u4? I Eh3s a sponso(- 6illy? Eh hus been /o( a 0hile? And eh3s as hea+y as /u.1? De dinnae bite the hand that /eeds ye? I =aybe 0e need ne0 sponso(s? 7onnie3s /a.e .(eases up intae its 0o((y lines? This isnae easy /o( hi4? I 6illy- you3+e ne+e( been a stupid laddie? Ah3+e ne+e(- e+e( had tae spell thin)s oot /o( ye? Ah say no0t? Ah dinnae 1en 0hat this is aboot- but ah 1en it3s aboot so4ethin) ah should 1en aboot? 7onnie huds oan /o( a bit@ then- as eh sees Gill/illan loo1in at ehs 0at.h- (ealises eh3s no )oat the ti4e? I ,ise up 6illy- eh )oes- pointin tae his 2a0? I De see that s.a(- oan you( .hinH E+e(y /u.1in day in the 4i((o(? Cou(se ah see it? I Aye- 0hat aboot itH I De hud bothe( 0i so4e boy then? The heidban)e( that )led ye that? No0 he doesnae bothe( ye any4ai(? De e+e( as1ed yi(sel 0hy that isH I Cause ah pit u4 oan ehs e(se- ah tell 7onnie? 7onnie s4iles )(i4ly and sha1es ehs heid? I De (eally thin1 eh3s /ea(t ay ye- a nutte( li1e thatH

Doyle? Na0? De .an pit hi4 doon as o/ten as ye li1e? Eh3ll 1eep .o4in- and eh3ll )it lu.1y on.e? I De thin1 that Doyle3s /ea(t ay yeH 7onnie (epeats- this ti4e na4in the na4e? I Nup? Ah didnae thin1 eh 0is- and ah3d al0ays 0onde(ed 0hy thi(3d been nae .o4eba.1s?
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7onnie s4iles sadly- n )(ips 4a ai(4? I Thi(3s a (eason that Doyle3s no been )iein ye )(ie/? That3s .ause eh asso.iates ye 0i the li1es ay Gill/illan and Po0e(? :o it 0is Gill/illan n Po0e( that put the b(ea1s oan Doyle? =a1es sense? Ah thoat it 0as 7ab3s 4ates in the .ashies- Le9o n that? 6ut they 1en the li1es ay Doyle- n Le9o3s e+en a blood (elati+e ay =a(ty Gentle4an3s- so they 0idnae ne.essa(ily ta1e ou( pa(t? I All the 4an3s as1in)- 6illy- is an hou( ay yi( ti4e- tae dis.uss so4ethin) that .ould 4a1e you so4e 4oney? :o4ethin) le)iti4ate? It3s no un(easonable- is itH 7onnie nea(ly pleads? This .lub3s a labou( ay lo+e /o( 7onnie? No0 pla.es li1e this need sponso(s tae 1eep it )aun? 6usiness sponso(s? I A0(i)ht- ah say- noddin o0e( tae Gill/illan? ,hat ah 1en aboot the li1es ay Gill/illan and Po0e(- is thit thi( 2ust 4ai( established +e(sions ay Doyle? ,ide .unts? And you ne+e( hit the 0ideos in the (in)? The ones in the (opes a(e 2ust the ones you can hit- and )et a0ay 0ith it@ tae 4a1e up /o( the /(ust(ation at no bein) able tae batte( the ones ye %ant tae hit? Gill/illan .o4es o+e(? I 7i)ht 6illy- 0e3ll no ta1e up too 4u.h ay yi( ti4e? Ah 2ist 0ant tae sho0 ye so4ethin)- and /o( ye tae 4eet so4e people? I3ll see you up in Geo()e :t(eet in about /i/teen 4inutes? Nu4be( one hund(ed and /i+e? O1ayH I 7i)ht? I :ee ye ne9t Tuesday then- 7onnie- Gill/illan says tu(nin) and lea+in)? 7onnie 0a+es hi4 a0ay- a0 palsyB0alsy? It isnae 7onnie- and it3s e4ba((assin) 0at.hin hi4 .(a0lin up this 0an1e(3s hole? I thin1 eh 1ens that ah34 no .hu//ed? Ah )o tae phone the /lat- tae see i/ Anthea3s ba.1 /ae he( assi)n4ent in London? He( /i(st (eal assi)n4ent- a pop +ideo? It beats )aun (oond ba(s handin oot /(ee nips n p(o4o TBshi(ts@ )ittin .hatted up- pa0ed and lee(ed at by d(un1s? The )la4ou( ay 4odellin? Nae ans0e(? :tallin /o( a bit- ah listen tae he( +oi.e oan the ans0e( 4a.hineF 3Neithe( Anthea no( 6illy a(e a+ailable at the 4o4ent? Please lea+e a 4essa)e a/te( the beep and one o/ us 0ill (etu(n you( .all?3 Ah tell the 4a.hine I3ll see he( late(- I34 a0ay oot tae see 4y =a? It3s /unny- but ah al0ays thin1 ay 4a 4othe(3s hoose as ho4e? That pla.e that ah sha(e 0i Anthea- in that Lothian House .o4ple9 0i the
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ni.e s0i44in pool- it3s li1e he(? It3s ni.e- easy tae loo1 at- but it doesnae /eel pe(4anent? Ah lea+e 7onnie and 0al1 ootside? Ah hea( this ni4ble and the bla.1 s1ies open n ah hu+ tae sp(int tae the .a( tae a+oid bein soa1ed? Ah loo1 at 4y s.a( in the .a( 4i((o(- (i)ht at the /(ont ay 4y .hin- al4ost a .le/t? I/ it hud been hal/ an in.h tae the (i)ht ah3d3+e been Ci(1 Dou)las? I3d no that lon) )one p(o at the ti4e- and 0as t(ainin) /o( a /i)ht? I3d /inished up doon the .lub- 0o(1in) late 0i 7onnie? The thin) 0as- that ah 0is oan 4a 0ey ha4e? It 0as only 0hen ah sa0 Te((y at the ,est End- .o4in oot /ae the :lutland ;as they .all the 7utland< that ah de.ided tae )et o// the bus? Thi( 0is a /unny at4osphe(e in the toon that :eti(day ni)ht- then ah (ealised 0hy? Abe(deen 0e(e at Hibsand they 0e(e the t0o bi))est .asual 4obs in the .ount(y? They 0ould be loo1in) /o( ea.h othe(- p(obably no a0 at on.e- but in s4alle( )(oups tae out0it the polis? Ah sp(inted and shouted e/ti( Te((y? Eh 0is )aun up tae 4eet 4a b(othe( 7ab- n ,ee Gally- in a pub in Lothian 7oad? 6aith 7ab and Gally /an.ied the4sel+es as .ashies? 7ab )oat intae it th(ou)h ehs 4ates- but eh lo+ed the .lathes- the labels n a0 that? Gally 0is 2ist a 0ee nutte(? Thin)s 0i hi4 and ehs 0i/e- that Gail- they 0i( b(utal? :he3d been seein Pol4ont- o/ a0 people? Gally and Gail hud had that /i)ht- and 0ee Ja.5ueline 0as badly hu(t in the .(oss/i(e? At the ti4e- the .ase 0as still pendin) in .ou(t- and Ja.5ueline 0as still in the hoaspital )ettin) that (e.onst(u.ti+e su()e(y oan he( /a.e? A 0ee lassie- aboot /i+e? 6eyond b(utal? Gally hud )one intae the hoaspital tae see he(- in de/ian.e ay a .ou(t o(de(? He )lan.ed at he( /o( a 0ee bit- .ouldnae /a.e he(- and 0al1ed oot? ,hen Te((y and 4e )oat up tae the pub- it 0as tea4in) 0i Hibs boys? The(e 0e(e the .asuals- t(yin) to 0o(1 oot 0he(e Abe(deen hud )one- and othe(- aulde( boys /ae the old s.a(/e( days? The aulde( boys 0e(e 2ust han)in) a(ound d(in1in? A lot o/ the4 0ould p(obably ha+e )ot in+ol+ed i/ Abe(deen had .o4e th(ou)h the doo(- but they .a4e /ae a di//e(ent e(a- and 0ouldnae be intae the idea ay t(aipsin (oond the st(eets- loo1in /o( youn)e( )uys? They 0e(e 2ist bee( 4onste(in oot- li1e Te((y?

7ab- Gally and Gally3s 4ate Ga(eth 0e(e sittin d(in1in 6e.13s at the ba(- 0i a /e0 othe( boys ah didnae 1en? It 0as 4obbed oot? 6oys 1ept .o4in in sayin) Abe(deen 0e(e in ,illia4 :t(eet- o( Hay4a(1et- o( 7ose :t(eeto( 0e(e on thei( 0ay he(e? Thi( 0is a (eal buEE ay pentBup +iolen.e?
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:o it 0is a +olatile 4i9 a0(eady? Then ah sa0 the4- sittin d(in1in in a /a( .o(ne( ay the ba(? DoEo Doyle=a(ty Gentle4an- :te+ie Doyle- 7ab Finne)an- and a .ouple ay aulde( .unts? They 0e(e a0 s.he4e )an)ste(s(athe( than p(ope( Hibs boys? Ah3d al0ays dete.ted a bit ay 2ealousy /ae boys 4a a)e and aulde(- tae0a(ds the .ashies? ,hile ou( a)eB)(oups had been batte(in) ea.h othe( in the toon and (oond the s.he4es- the .ashies had united thei( )ene(ation and ta1en the sho0 on the (oad? Doyle n that 0e(e .he.1in the4 oot- n aulde( boys li1e Finne)an- ye .ould tell they 2ist didnae )et it? No0 they 0e(e in the pub? N Pol4ont 0is 0i thu4? Gally hudnae seen the4- they3d no that lon) .o4e in? Ah hoped eh 0idnae- no( they hi4? It 0as :atu(dayand it 0is absolutely .ho.BaBblo.? 6ut then eh .lo.1ed the4? Fo( a bit eh 2ist sat thai(- 4u4blin unde( ehs b(eath? Te((y sa0 this /i(st? I Dinnae sta(t no0t in he(e- Gally- eh said? Gally 0is up /o( it- but eh hea(d 0hat Te((y 0as sayin)? Eh 0is in enou)h bothe( .ause ay the .ou(t .ase pendin)? ,e too1 hi4 o0e( tae the /u(the(est .o(ne( ay the pub- the yin by the doo(- n sat doon 0i hi4? ,hen ah loo1ed o0e( at thai4- ah .ould see Doyle e))in Pol4ont on? Ah thou)ht that 0e should d(in1 up- be.ause i/ any .unt sta(ted he(e- the 0hole pla.e 0ould )o up- n thi( 0is nae 0ey ay 0o(1in oot 0hi.h 0ay the .ai(ds 0id /a0? It 0is too late? Pol4ont 0is o0e(- n DoEo n :te+ie Doyle 0i(nae /a( behind? Ah 0is loo1in beyond thai4 but- tae the hu)e shape ay Gentle4an- 0hi.h 0is slo0ly (isin oot the .hai(? Pol4ont stood a /e0 /eet /ae 0he(e Gally sat? I Ah hope yi( /u.1in 0ell satis/ied- Gallo0ay- eh sais? I A bai(n- yi( ain bai(n- in hoaspital .ause ay youG Dou )o any0he(e nea( Gail o( Ja.1ie a)ain- n you dieG Gally3s 1nu.1les 0ent 0hite oan the pint )lass eh 0is hudin? Eh stood up? I =e n you- ootside- eh said 5uietly? Pol4ont too1 a step ba.1? I/ any .unt 0as 1illin Gally- it 0isnae )aunny be hi4? Eh 0isnae e+en intae a s5ua(eB)o? DoEo Doyle .a4e /o(0a(d- loo1ed at 4e- at Te((y? I Douse 0i this 0ee pie.e ay t(ashH I This is thai( business DoEo- it3s no ou(s n it3s no you(s- Te((y said? I ,hae /u.1in saisH EhH DoEo loo1ed at Te((y? Ah 0is up n oan 4a /eet? I =e- ah sais? No0 )it- n ah thu4bed tae0a(ds the doo(? DoEo didnae 4ess aboot- ah3ll )ie u4 that- eh 2ust .a4e at 4e? A
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table 0ent o0e(? Eh .au)ht ays oan the .hin 0i one blo0- but ah 1ne0 ah3d )o th(ou)h u4 and that 0as the only one eh )oat in? Ah hit u4 0i a .ouple ay pun.hes n eh /ell ba.1 oan ehs e(se- n ah /ollayed up 0i the boot? Te((y had s4a.1ed Pol4ont- 0ho pi.1ed up a )less? One ay 7ab3s 4ates- a boy .alled Johnny ,atsonbatte(ed Pol4ont o0e( the heid 0i a bottle ay 6e.13s? Gentle4an .a4e o0e( n ah .au)ht hi4 0i a )ood le/t- n eh sta))e(ed ba.1? Le9o n 7ab )ot bet0een 4e n hi4- n De4psey .a4e o0e( n batte(ed Finne)an? Thi( 0is loads ay shoutin) and th(eatenin)? Ah 0as late( tae /ind oot that De4psey /ae the .ashies- and Finne)an- Doyle3s side1i.1 /ae :i)hthill- had a lon)Bstandin) /eud and De4ps sa0 an oppo(tunity 0hi.h 0is 2ist too )ood tae pass up? It 0is nea(ly so b(utal that ni)ht? The pla.e 0is a 4ad 4i9 ay boys- a lot ay 0ho4 0e(e a0 pu4ped up and 2ust 0anted the (elease ay it 1i.1in) o//? Then thi( 0is the .oole( heids 0hae sa0 it as a .i+il 0a( and 0anted tae .al4 thin)s doon? ,hat )ot 4e 0is the dis.ipline ay the top boys? They3d hud thi( 4eet 0i Abe(deen oan the .ai(ds /i( 0ee1s- n they didnae 0ant it (uined by 0hat they sa0 as a /e0 s.he4ies hu+in a /i)ht o0e( so4e da/t bi(d- n d(a0in polis heat thai( 0ey? Ah 0is )lad bi) Le9o stopped Gentle4an .o4in ahead? Those hands 0e(e li1e sho+els? Thi( 0is a bit ay shoutin n 2ostlin- then a boy .a4e in and said that Abe(deen 0e(e de/initely in ,illia4 :t(eet- and e+e(ybody le/t the pub- headin o// in s4all )(oups? As they depa(ted- De4psey sta)ed anothe( assault on the stillB)(o))y Finne)an- only tae be (est(ained by a .ashie )uy 0i 0hite hai( and :te+ie Doyle? ,e headed doon the (oad sha(pish? It 0is only then that ah (ealised ay 0is .o+e(ed in blood? I That3ll need stit.hes- Te((y said? I :o((y 6illy- Gally 0ent ti4idly- loo1in li1e a 0ee laddie apolo)isin tae ehs /aithe( /i( pishin the bed? Ah 4ind ay 0ee :te+ie Doyle shoutin death th(eats doon Lothian 7oad e/ti( us- and 0e 2u4ped a ta9i up tae the A..ident and E4e()en.y? Ah didnae (ealise at the ti4e that Doyle hudnae pun.hed 4e- he3d hit 4e 0i a /lensin) 1ni/e? It 0is st(an)e- but ah hud 2ist seen ehs hand? E+e(y othe( .unt told 4e- na0- it 0as a /lense(? It needed ei)ht stit.hes? Just as 0ell it 0is the only blo0 he3d )ot in? 6e.ause ay the 0ound bein (i)ht oan the .hin- 4a /i)ht 0i the Li+e(pool boy- Cenny Pa(nell- 0as postponed? It 4ust ha+e .ost Po0e( and Gill/illan 4oney- so they p(obably put the bite on Doyle then? Dinnae thin1 ah3+e e+en seen u4 sin.e?

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Geo()e :t(eet3s b(utal /o( pa(1in- n ah hu+ tae )o up n doon it t0i.e be/o(e ah see a 0hite 8ol+o pull oot ay this spa.e- n ah34 (i)ht in thai(? D(asti.? It3s a bit ay a 0al1 tae nu4be( oneBEe(oB/i+e? At /i(st ah thin1 Gill/illan3s ta1in) the piss- be.ause the buildin)3s a ban1 and it3s shut- .o4pletely e4pty- li1e it3s )aunny be (eno+ated? Ah pushes the doo(- n sees Gill/illan- tal1in tae this se.u(ity )uy? Dinnae 1en 0hat they 0ant se.u(ity in a pla.e li1e this /o(? Thi(3s a bi)- /at )uy sittin at a des1 and .hai(? Ah (e.o)nise hi4 /ae the (in)side? Da+id Ale9ande( Po0e(- o( Ty(one- as eh )ets .alled? Eh3s hu)e- 0i this bla.1 hai( that sti.1s up li1e a b(ush? I ,hat aboot this then 6illyH eh sais- loo1in (oond the ba((en spa.e? I Ni.e- ehH I I/ ye li1e ban1s- aye? Po0e( )ets up and )oes o0e( tae this 1ettle? Eh as1s i/ ah 0ant a .o//ee? Ah nod- n eh sta(ts 4a1in it? Eh3s di//e(ent tae 0hat ah thou)ht eh3d be li1e? E/ti( Gill/illan- ah thoat eh3d be a0 that se(ious- /lash- )an)ste( 0ey? This bi) .unt thou)h- eh3s a0 (ela9ed- but .hee(/ul and enthusiasti.- li1e yi( /a+ou(ite un.le 0ho3s )one intae business? I Tell ye 0hat 6illy- ten yea(s /ae no0- this st(eet3ll be un(e.o)nisable? A0 that buildin) 0o(1 at the ,est End- (ea.hin) (i)ht up tae 0hat 0e used tae 1en as Toll.(oss? De 1en 0hat that3s )aunny beH I O//i.es- ah bet? Po0e( s4iles- hands 4e a .o//ee in a Hibe(nian 4u)? I 7i)ht- but 4ai( than that? It3s )auny be Edinbu()h3s ne0 /inan.ial .ent(e? :o 0hat happens he(e- tae a0 they /ine old buildin)sH Ah say no0t? I This pla.e .han)es- eh e9plains- I be.o4es an ente(tain4ent .ent(e? No li1e 7ose :t(eet- 0i its ta.1y tou(isty pubs- n pla.es /o( the subu(banites tae hu+ a toon pubB.(a0l doon? Na0- a0 these punte(s that )o oot (a+in no0- they3ll be ten yea(s aulde( doon the line- n they3ll 0ant thi( .(eatu(e .o4/o(ts? Ah thin1 aboot a0 they people dan.in in the /ields and in s0eaty 0a(ehooses? I Ah .annae see thai4 0antin that- ah say? I Oh but they 0ill- bi) Po0e( )(ins- I 0e a0 do at so4e ti4e? And Geo()e :t(eet3s the pla.e? Dou3+e )ot the ,est End /o( the 4eat 4a(1ets- and the .ool- .lubby East End? ,hat ye need is so4ethin) in the 4iddle? Eh stops n sp(eads ehs ai(4s? I Geo()e :t(eet? A st(eet ay ni.e- p(eB.lub ba(s- housed in all these .lassi. old ban1 buildin)s? :4a(t enou)h /o( a .lassy .lientele- bi) enou)h tae be so4ethin) else 0hen li.ensin) la0s 4o+e 0i the ti4es? And none bi))e( o( .lassie( than The
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6usiness 6a(- eh nods (oond the (oo4? Then eh pats ehs bi) )ut? I 6ut it3s yon ti4e? ,hat dae ye say tae .ontinuin) this .on+e(sation o+e( lun.h at the Ca/e 7oyalH I ,hy not- ah say- (espondin tae the bi) 4an3s )(in? :o 0e3(e in the Oyste( 6a(@ 4e- Po0e( and Gill/illan? Ah34 sti.1in tae 4ine(al 0ate(- but Po0e(3s puttin a0ay the 6ollin)e( /inestyle? It3s the /i(st ti4e ah3+e hud oyste(s be/o(e- and thi( no up tae 4u.h? It 4ust sho0? I An a.5ui(ed taste- 6illy- Po0e( s4iles? Gill/illan says +e(y little? Po0e(3s ob+iously the 4an? Anli1e Gill/illan- Po0e( doesnae play the )an)ste(0hi.h p(obably 4eans eh3s .o4/o(table enou)h no tae hu+ tae bothe(? Thin1in aboot this- ah de.ide tae .o4e oot 0i it- see ho0 eh (ea.ts 0hen 0e stoap s1i(tin (oond thin)s? I This- ah tou.h 4a s.a(- I you pit Doyle in the pi.tu(e- ehH ah as1? Po0e( s.(e0s up ehs nose n loo1s 4ildly i((itated /o( the /i(st ti4e- li1e ah3+e b(o1en so4e p(oto.ol by bein) that di(e.t? Then eh lau)hs- I :.he4ies eh- 0he(e 0ould 0e be 0ithoot the4H I Ah .o4e /ae a s.he4e- ah say tae hi4? Po0e( )(ins 0idely- but /o( the /i(st ti4e ah see it in ehs eyes- that loo1- no ha(dness o( badness e+en- but that other !lace, so4e0he(e eh 1in )o and be .o4/o(table in 0hen eh needs tae be? :o4e0he(e +e(y /e0 people .an? I :o do I- 6illy- so do I? And a real one as 0ell- no so4e ta(ty 0ee Ja4bo ho4estead li1e :tenhoose- eh lau)hs at that- and tae be honest- ah do a bit n a0? I Ah should be 4ai( spe.i/i. he(e- it3s no s.he4ies- li1e a0 us he(e- but the s.he4ie mentality ah34 tal1in aboot? Ta1e DoyleF ah 1ne0 ehs auld 4an 0ell? :a4e thin)? They 0ould be dan)e(ous i/ they had a4bitions beyond the s.he4e? 6ut that3s a0 they 1enF that3s 0he(e they /eel sa/e? Doyle3s .ontent tae (ule the (oost- buy ehs ain .oun.il hoose- ha+e a /e0 )i(o and (entB.he5ue /iddles@ a bit ay loan sha(1in)- so4e po0de(s and pills? Fine? Lea+e u4 tae it? It3s 0hen these .unts )et a4bitious ye hu+ tae 0o((y? Ah s4ile at that? Po0e( is a sh(e0d .unt- that3s the Doyles tae a tee? I Then 0hat dae ye daeH I I/ thi( idiots- ye )et the4 telt? I/ thi( no- ye b(in) the4 intae the /old? Dou3(e al0ays st(on)e( i/ you3+e )ot st(on) people a(ound ye- eh loo1s b(ie/ly at Gill/illan? I 6ut st(on) doesnae 4ean 4us.le? That .an al0ays be bou)ht? It3s up he(e- eh taps ehs heid- I that3s 0he(e it .ounts? It3s ma heid that3s spinnin 0hen ah say 4a )oodbyes n )it ba.1 oot n head doon the (oad tae the .a(? Ah thou)ht ah3d hate Po0e(- ah3d

17(

4a(1ed hi4 doon as a 0an1e( li1e Gill/illan? 6ut na0? Ah /ound that ah li1ed hi4- (espe.ted hi4- e+en ad4i(ed hi4? N it3s b(utal thou)h- but be.ause ay that- /o( the /i(st ti4e in a lon) ti4e- ah (eally /eel s.a(ed?

Me6ories of Italia
Ah )o /o( a hu(l in the 4oto(- t(yin tae .lea( 4a heid? Ah heid alon) the bypass and doon tae =usselbu()hstoppin at the Lu.a3s .a/e /o( a .o//ee? The Ca/e 7oyal /ood3s hea+y in 4y )uts- 7onnie 4i)ht no ha+e been pleased- but- 0ell- it 0is his idea? Ah34 d(asti. 0i )(ub@ the 4ai( ah hu+- the 4ai( ah 0ant? E+en no0- ah34 te4pted tae hu+ a Lu.a3s i.eB.(ea4F 4a auld 4an used tae ta1e 4e he(e /o( the4 0hen 0e 0i( youn)? De ne+e( /o()et a taste li1e that? Na0- it3ll no taste the sa4e no0? The i.eB.(ea4 4i)ht- but 4a tastebuds3ll be di//e(ent? Thin)s .han)e? =e- ha+in) 4y ain ba(- 4y ain business? :ounds )ood? It3s the only 0ay to 4a1e 4oney- ha+in) you( ain business- buyin) and sellin)? And ha+in) 4oney is the only 0ay to )et (espe.t? Despe(ate- but that3s the 0o(ld 0e li+e in no0? De hea( the li1es ay Cinno.1 n the Labou( Pa(ty )aun oan aboot the do.to(s n nu(ses n tea.he(s- the people that .a(e /o( the si.1 and edu.ate the 1ids and e+e(ybody3s noddin) a0ay? 6ut they3(e thin1in) a0 the ti4e- ah 0ould ne+e( dae that 1ind ay 2oab- 2ust )ie 4e 4oney? It3s d(asti.- but you3ll ne+e( .han)e it? Dou t(y tae be de.ent tae people .lose tae ye- but e+e(ybody else .an piss o//- n that3s the 0ey ay it? Ah /inish 4a .o//ee n head ba.1 tae the 4oto(? D(i+in) ha4e ah spy a /a4ilia( /i)u(e 0al1in) in the (ain? Ah3d 1en that 0al1 any0he(e@ they slopin) shoodi(s- the ai(4s th(ustin oot- the heid )aun /ae side tae side a0 shi/ty@ but- 4aist ay a0- that .o(1s.(e0 hai( /lyin aboot? Li1e a (ooste( 0i bad piles? Ah 1e(b.(a0l behind the tossba) and pull up alon)side u4? I TE7ENCE LA,:ONG LOTHIAN: AND 6O7DE7: POLICEG ah shout- as the (ad)e tu(ns (oond slo0ly- t(yin tae a.t a0 .ool but ye 1en eh3s shit up inside? I Fu.1 o//- 6i((ell- eh )oes as eh .lo.1s it3s 4e? I A bit out o/ ou( a(ea- a(en3t 0e- =( La0sonH
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I Eh- ah 0is seein so4e bu(d up he(e ??? eh )oes? That3s bullshit? Te((y seein bu(ds- aye- a0(i)ht- that3s 0ell belie+able- but no he(e in the G(an)e? Apa(t /ae that 0ee b(e1 in Italy 0hai(e eh sa0 ho0 the othe( hal/ sha))ed- eh3s ne+e( been 0i a lassie in ehs li/e 0hose =a didnae hu+ an Edinbu()h Dist(i.t Coun.il 7ent 6oo1? I Dinnae )ies it- La0son? Di( .asin so4e )a// in the nei)hbou(hood? Dou3(e b(utal- 4an? I Fu.1 o// 6illy- eh lau)hs? I Oh- it3s li1e that is itH Di3ll no be 0antin a li/t then- ah ta1e itH :u(e3(i eh isnae? It3s pissin doon n Te((y )its intae the .a(? Ehs 0hite .o(d 2ay1it3s soa1ed 0et a.(oss ehs shoodi(s? Eh (ubs ehs hands the)ithe(? I 7i)ht- 6i((ell 4y )ood 4an? The 4uni.ipal housin) s.he4e that 0e both 1no0 and lo+e so 0ell- the(e3s a .hap- eh )oes- addin)- I P(onto? ,e sta(t tal1in aboot Italia 3$0? Ah 4ind 0hen 0e 0ent oantae the steps ay the 8ati.an? Te((y loo1ed o0e( :t Pete(3s :5ua(e and sta(ted sin)in)F No Pope in 7o4e- no .hapels to sadden 4y eyes ? ? ? Then the 8ati.an se.u(ity poun.ed- )(abbed a hud ay the (ad)e n 4u))ins he(e hud tae s4ooth it o0e(? 6eyond b(utal? I Di( supposed tae be Hibs- La0son- ah telt u4? I Aye- but ye3+e )oat tae ta1e the piss oot ay they .unts- eh said? I 6i))est /u.1in (a.1et )aun? Ah 4ind ay hi4 buyin that )less asht(ay in the )i/t shoap- the .(u.i/i9ion yin? Ah thou)ht it 0is in bad taste so ah )ot a Colosseu4 one? Aye- that 0is so4e .(a.1 ba.1 in 7o4e? Te((y set ehs stall oot (i)ht /ae the sta(t? Ah )oes- I ,i 1in hoo1 up 0i a0 they boys 0e 4et oan the plane- the boys /ae Fi/e? They 0e(e sound? I Ah- uh- =( 6i((ell? Tell ye so4ethin) /o( no0t- eh )oes- eyein) these lassies a.(oss /ae us in this .a/e by the (i+e(- I the 5uality ay /anny he(e is absolutely /u.1in a4aEin)? :.he4e 4in)e disnae e+en )it tae /i(st base? Ah dinnae )ie a /u.1 aboot the /itba o( )ittin ti.1ets@ i/ :.otland loast e+e(y )a4e si9Bnil o( i/ they 0on the /u.1in ,o(ld Cup itsel/- it 0id 4a1e nae /u.1in di//e(en.e tae 4e at a0? Ah34 he(e /i( the sha))in? End o/? I It3s the ,o(ld Cup- /o( )od3s sa1e ? ? ? I Couldnae )ie a toss? I/ you thin1 thit ah34 )aunny hin) a(oond 0i so4e hai(yBe(sed (idB/a.ed t(annies in ta(tan s1i(ts- /ae Fi/e o( any0hai(e else- sin)in) .lo%er ay cotland a)ain- n a)ain- n a)ain- you 1in )it tae /u.1 (i)ht no0- :onny Ji4? 6e.ause this- eh s0eeps ehs hand
17/

)(andBstyle a.(oass tae 0he(e they lassies a(e sittin- a0 0i shades pushed up tae thi( heads ;a )estu(e he3s

.opied< I this is the .an+as that a se9ual a(tiste li1e Jui.e Te((y La0son 0as bo(n tae spu(t 0hite .(ea4y paint a0 o+e(? E/te( that ah o..asionally bu4ped intae hi4- at the hotel- o( the (ail0ay station o( 0hen eh hunted ays doon tae s.(oun)e .ash? Then ah .ouldnae belie+e 4a eyes 0hin ah sa0 the hypo.(iti.al basta(d 0i a ta(tan 1ilt oan? I Ni.1ed it /ae this .unt in this hotel ah 0ent ba.1 tae the othe( ni)ht? Eh le/t ehs doo( open 0hen eh 0ent /o( a sho0e(? =u)? Fits li1e a /u.1in )lo+e n a0? The bi(ds lo+e it 4an- ah should3+e 0o(1ed that one oot? ,hy dae ye thin1 so 4any u)ly .unts )o tae :.otland )a4es ab(oad 0i 1ilts oanH This 0ee bi(d says tae ays- I ,hat does a :.ots4an 0ea( unde( hees 1eeltH Ah li/ts it up a 0ee bit- dis.(eetly li1e- unde( the table- sho0s he( the /u.1in )oods? :he )oes- I E+e(ytheen) ees in o(de(? No0- ho0 does a :.ots4an 4a1e lu//H I :o ye 0ent doon oan the ne.1 ay a bottle ay G(ouseH Eh 4a1es a /a(tin noise th(ou)h ehs lips? I Thi( 0is nae .o4plaints at a0- 6i((ell- ah 1in assu(e ye ay that? Aye- eh did a0(i)ht /o( ehsel oot thai(- ah3ll )ie hi4 that? No0 that eh3s )oat a taste /o( /o(ei)n lassies- eh3s loo1in /o(0a(d tae =uni.h? It3s a0 eh tal1s aboot- but .o4e tae thin1 ay it- ah a4 n a0? ,hen 0e )ets tae the shoaps 2ist be/o(e oo( bit- Te((y .lo.1s Gally a()uin 0i that Pol4ont boy- that =.=u((ay? He( n the bai(n a(e standin a(oond? It3s li1e thi( s5ua(in up tae ea.h othe( in the st(eet? ,i dinnae 0ant that- no 0i a0 the histo(y thai(e? ,e pills up n )its oot- but the 0an1e(3s o// doon the (oad? ,ee Gally3s a0 0i(ed up- n Te((y3s t(yin tae .al4 u4 doon? Ah t(y as 0ell- until ah sees auld =(s Ca(lops .o4in oot the supe(4a(1et- st(u))lin 0i t0o hea+y ba)s? Ah ta1es the4 oa/ he( and sti.1s the4 in the boot ay the .a(? Te((y n Gally 0anted ays tae )o /o( a pint- but one pint in that .o4pany is ne+e( one pint- n ah da(esay that ah3ll hu+ enou)h 0hen ah )o a0ay 0i the4? Ah 4a1e 4a e9.uses n )it auld =(s Ca(lops ha4e? The pe(( auld )i(l3s that )(ate/ul na0? Pe(( auld doll- she ne+e( as1s /o( 4u.h n she3s 2ist o0e( the (oad /ae ou(s? As i/ ah34 )aunny lit he( st(u))le ha4e 0i that 0ei)ht? ,hen ah )its in thi(3s nae si)n ay =a o( Dad? 7ab3s sittin oan the .ou.h 0i this lassie- thi( 0at.hin doleB4ole e/ti(noon telly? I ,hai(e3s =aH
17)

I Ap toon 0i Auntie 6(enda? It3s he( day /i( the toon? I ,hai(e3s DadH 7ab bends ehs 0(ist n lisps- I Eh3s at ehs .oo1e(y .lass? The lassie beside u4 bu(sts intae stoned lau)hte(? Ah thoat ah .ould s4ell the hash- n thi(3s a bi) 2oint in 7ab3s hand? Ah34 no .hu//ed at hi4 dis(espe.tin 4a /aithe( in /(ont ay so4e dopey .o0? At least the auld 4an3s 4a1in an e//o(t? N eh3s dis(espe.tin thai( hooses4o1in a0 that (ubbish? It3s no /o( 4e tae say no0t but? I ,hat ye been up taeH ah as1s? I Asual- eh- eh )oes? I 6een t(aininH I ,hen3s Dad due ba.1H I Fu.1 1no0s- eh says? It )its ays 0onde(in as tae 0hethe( eh3s sha))in this bi(d o( 2ist hin)in aboot 0i he(? It3s /unny- but the 0ey thi( that easy in ea.h othe(3s .o4pany- the 0ey they 2ist lau)h- it 4a1es ays thin1 about Anthea n 4e? Oo( li/e? Oo( business (elationship? It3s da/t butF ye .annae sta(t bein 2ealous ay a .ouple ay doleB4oles 0ho p(obably a(enae e+en le))in ea.h othe(? 7i)ht no0 ah /eel li1e the auld boy 4ust /eel a0 day- su(plus tae (e5ui(e4ents- and ah al4ost 0ish ah3d )one /i( a bee( 0i the boys? Na0? Fo.us? Con.ent(ation? =e n 7ab- 0i( /lyin in di//e(ent di(e.tions? The 1ey )oes in the doo(- n it3s 4a auld 4an?

Andre" -allo"a#
Trainin9
Ah3d 0aited th(ee 0ee1s /o( the ne0s? Ah thoat it 0ould be a 1ille(- but thi( 0is so 4u.h )aun oan- so 4u.h othe( shite- ah s.a(.ely noti.ed? ,hen ah thou)ht about it- 0hi.h ah did- espe.ially at ni)hts- ah .ouldnae 0o(1 oot ho0 4u.h it plu))ed intae the an9iety ah3d al(eady been /eelin) /o(- ho0 lon)H Fu.1in yea(s? They ta1e ye in- sit ye doon- n .o4pose ye? They 1en 0hat thi( daein- n thi( )ood at it? 6ut thi(3s only so 4any 0ays they 1in say it? I Dou tested positi+e- the 0o4an at the .lini. told 4e? Ah34 no that da/t? Ah 1en the di//e(en.e bet0een HI8 and AID:? Ah 1en 2ust aboot e+e(ythin) i4po(tant that thi( is tae 1en oan the sub2e.t? It3s 0ei(d- that ye .an so studiously i)no(e so4ethin) so 4u.h- that ye

a.tually (e/e(en.e it by its o4ission- and the 1no0led)e o/ it su((eptitiously- sub.ons.iously- 2ust slips in? A bit li1e the +i(us itsel/? Ne+e(theless- ah hea( 4asel/ say- I :o that3s it- ah3+e )oat AID: then? And ah said that- .hose tae say that- be.ause pa(t o/ 4e- so4e b(i)ht- opti4isti. pa(t that3ll ne+e( let )o.(a+ed the 0hole spee.h about it no bein) a death senten.e and loo1in) a/te( 4ysel/ and the t(eat4ents and so on and so /o(th? 6ut 4a /i(st thoat 0is- 0ell- that3s it /u.1ed? And it 0is a st(an)e (elie/- .ause ah3d /elt it hus been /u.1ed /i( so4e ti4e- it 0as li1e a0 ah /ound oot 0is ho%. The (est ay the ti4e in the .lini. 0as 2ust a0 0hite noise in 4a heid? :o ah 0ent ha4e n sat in the a(4.hai(? Ah sta(ted lau)hin 4a heid oa/ until it )oat de(an)ed- .au)ht in 4a th(oat and tu(ned intae (a.1in) sobs? T(ied tae thin1 ay a0 the 0ho3s- ho03s- 0hat3s- 0he(e3s n 0hy3s?
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Couldnae .o4e up 0i anythin)? Thou)ht aboot ho0 ah /elt? ,onde(ed ho0 lon) it 0ould be? 6est ah held oan? :at nu4bed /o( a bit- thou)ht aboot un/inished business? Aye- best ah held oan? Till ah 1in so(t it a0 oot li1es? Ah stoaped 1iddin oan that ah .ould dae anythin) use/ul? Ah )oat oot the boatil ay G(ouse and pou(ed 4asel a d(in1? It bu(ned a0 hoat n sou( a0 the 0ey doon? The se.ond one 0as bette(- but the /ea( didnae lea+e ays? =a s1in 0is .la44y- 4a lun)s /elt shallo0? Ah 1ept t(yin tae tell 4asel that this 0is 2ist one 4ai( day n the ni)ht 0id be 2ist one 4ai( ni)ht in a lon)da(1 dan.e ay the4 0hi.h st(et.hed (i)ht oot intae the un1no0n- /a( /u(the( than you( eye .ould see? =a li/e 0ould )o oan- ah telt 4asel- 4ibbe /o( a lon) ti4e? Fa( /ae bein a .o4/o(tin) thou)ht- the te((o( o/ it nea(ly .(ushed 0hat little the(e 0as le/t in 4e? It 4i)ht )o on- but it 0ouldnae )et bette(? De dinnae (ealise 0hat an an.ho( hope is- until ye 1en that it3s (eally )one? Dou3(e )utted- dise4bo0elledand it3s li1e ye 2ist a(enae o/ this 0o(ld any4ai(? It3s as i/ thi(3s nae 4ass tae 1eep ye 0ei)hed doon tae this ea(th? In the disinte)(ation ay (eality- yi( +ision be.o4es a di//used s.an- /ollo0ed by a despe(ate /o.us on the e9t(e4e and the 4undane? De3ll )(asp at anythin)- no 4atte( ho0 da/t- that see4s tae p(o+ide the ans0e(F t(yin so ha(d tae /ind si)ni/i.an.e in it? The 0a0 in /(ont ay ays see4ed tae hud the se.(et tae 4a /utu(e? The sa4u(ai s0o(d- the .(ossbo0? Ap thai(e oan the 0a0- 2ust sta(in at ays? The /utu(eF sta(in ays (i)ht in the /a.e? Ta3e care ay it, ta3e care ay that unfinished business. Ah too1 the bi) sa4u(ai s0o(d oa/ the 0a0? Ta1in it /ae the s.abba(d- ah 0at.hed it )lea4 in the li)ht? The blade 0as blunt thou)h- it .ouldnae .ut butte(? Te((y )oat it /o( ays- eh (obbed it /ae so4e0he(e? Ho0 easy thou)h- tae sha(pen that blade? The .(ossbo0 0isnae sae o(na4ental? Ah pi.1 it up- /eelin the 0ei)ht ay it- stu.1 in the t0oBin.h bolt- too1 ai4 and blasted the (ed in the .ent(e ay the ta()et by the opposite 0a0? :at doon a)ain- thou)ht aboot 4a li/e? T(ied tae thin1 aboot 4a /aithe(? The /leetin) +isits o0e( the yea(s? I ,hen3s Dad .o4in ba.1H ah3d as1 4y =a- a0 ea)e(?
17*

I :oon- she3d say- o( at othe( ti4es- she3d 2ust sh(u) as i/ tae say- ho0 the /u.1 should ah 1enH The )aps bet0een his appea(an.es )ot lon)e(- until he 2ust be.a4e this un0el.o4e st(an)e( 0hose p(esen.e 0ould /u.1 up you( (outine? Ah 4ind thou)h- one /i(e0o(1s day 0hen 0e 0e(e 1ids? He too1 4e- 6illy- 7ab and :heena to the pa(1@ us 0(apped up a)ainst the No+e4be( .old? The (o.1ets he3d bou)ht- he 2ust stu.1 the4 in the /(oEen )(ound by thei( sti.1s? Dou 0e(e supposed tae put the4 in a bottle- but 0e thou)ht that he 1ne0 0hat he 0as daein- so 0e said no0t? =e and 6illy 0e(e only se+en- and 0e 1ne0? Ho0 the /u.1 did he no 1en thatH 7o.1ets 0e(e supposed to soa( tae the s1ies- then e9plode- but 0e 0at.hed his yins bu(n oot and blo0 up0ithoot lea+in) the .auld- ha(d )(oond? He 1ne0 nothin) be.ause he 0as al0ays inside? ,hen ah 0is )(o0in up- the 0o(se thin) 4y =a .ould say tae 4e 0as that ah 0is as bad as 4a /aithe(? Ah telt 4asel/ ah3d ne+e(e+e( be li1e hi4? Then ah 0is inside n a0? T0o st(et.hes in the ni.1- one in inno.en.e- the othe( in )uilt? Dunno 0hi.h one /u.1ed ays the 4aist@ the .(i4e ay stupidity is the )(eatest /u.1in .(i4e o/ the4 all? No0 I34 in this .oun.il /lat- ba.1 in the s.he4e- a sublet /ae a 4ate .alled Colin 6ishop- 0ho3s 0o(1in) in :pain? It3s /unny- but people say- aye- yu+ ended up ba.1 he(e? 6ut ah 0ill- ah 0ill end u! he(e? The (ain3s been th(ashin doon the day- but ah see no0 it3s (ained itsel/ oot? Thi(3s a (ainbo0 in the (oad?

In 4a nut- ah34 up n doon li1e a yoByo? No0 ah34 thin1in aboot ho0 4any people )it the .han.e tae settle auld s.o(es be/o(e they )oH No 4any? =aist people a(e )aunny )o oan a lon) ti4e- so they3+e )oat too 4u.h tae lose- eithe( that o( they3(e too /eeble tae a.t by the ti4e they 1en it3s o0e(? Thin1in) this 0ey 4a1es 4e /eel st(on)? :o ah /elt li1e the 0o(ld had dealt 4e its 0o(st possible hand and that- /u.1 it- ah 0is still he(e? ,hen ah 0al1ed oot intae the sunshine tae .lea( 4a heid- biEa((ely so eupho(i.- ah )enuinely thou)ht that nothin) 0ould e+e( 4a1e 4e sad a)ain? 6ut ah 0is 0(on) o/ .ou(se? Ah 0is p(o+ed 0(on) a/te( aboot /i+e 4inutes? Fi+e 4inutes- the distan.e bet0een he(e n the shoaps? ,hen ah sa0 he( 0ith the bai(n- .o4in oot ay the ne0sa)ent3s- 4a he(t batte(ed in the .ent(e ay 4a .hist and ah +e(nea( 2ust .(ossed the (oad? 6ut they
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0e(e oan thei( ain- he 0isnae aboot? Ah 2ist 0isnae up /o( 4eetin hi4- no the no0- 0hen ah did it 0id be 0hen ah 0is (eady? 6ut no the no0? Ah )lan.ed aboot- .e(tain that he 0isnae a(oond? Thin) 0is- ah 0is /eelin a0(i)ht- ah3d done 0hat ah3d hud tae dae 0i the .unts at the .ent(e- n ah 0is t(yin tae pit it a0 tae the ba.1 ay 4a 4ind? T(yin tae loo1 ahead- tae thin1 aboot the =uni.h 6ee( Fest n the pills ah3d ha+e tae sell tae )et thai(? The /li)hts hud a0 been boo1ed- so ah 2ist needed a..o44o n spends 4oney? It 0is a (e(( day n a0F it hud been stoatin doon a 0hile a)o- but no0 it 0is blaEin n e+e(ybody 0is oot? It 0is .o4in up /i( teaBti4e- n people 0i( st(ea4in oa/ the buses /ae toon? Ah 0as 0al1in alon)- loo1in at the )(a//itiB .o+e(ed 0a0- t(yin tae /ind oo( auld e//o(ts? The(e they 0i(- slo0ly but su(ely /adin a0ayF
-ALL> *IR< $C R5L(

It 4ust be o+e( ten yea(s auld? 6i(o? That 0is 6i((ell3s auld ni.1na4e- 0hi.h 0is ne+e( used no0? Ah should3+e )oat a bette( yin- 4ai( obs.u(e? =uh =a sussed oot it 0is 4e n batte(ed ays? That .unt Te((y used tae .o4e up /o( ays a)es a)o n say tae 4uh =aF I Hiya =(s Gallo0ay- is Gally- eh ah 4ean And(e0- inH No0 0e 0e(e )aun a0ay the)ithe(@ 4e- Te((y- Ca(l n 6illy? =ibbe /o( the last ti4e? Thi( )ood boys but- espe.ially 6i((ellF a .apital )ad)ie? 6a.1ed ays up that ti4e 0i Doyle? A0 the 0ey? Eh hud a loat )aun oan- as 0ell? The /i)ht )oat pit ba.1? The +(ening 2e%s )ot hud ay it a0- painted hi4 as a 4indless thu)- d(a))ed up this auld .on+i.tion eh hud /ae a /e0 yea(s ba.1 /i( settin) that 0a(ehoose oan /i(e? Eh handled it a0 0ell thou)h- 6illy did? Pul+e(ised the boy /ae Ei+e(pool 0hen the /i)ht 0as (es.heduled? They a0 0e(e (i)ht ba.1 up his e(se e/ti( that? Ah thoat aboot it- aboot ba.1 then- n ah /elt a bit lo0 a)ain? Then ah thou)ht- .34oan- st(oll on Gallo0aybeha+e yi(sel/? Aye- 0hen ah 0ent oot- ah 0is /eelin /ine? Then ah sa0 the4? Ah sa0 the4 and ah /elt li1e ah3d 2ust been pun.hed ha(d in the )uts? ,hen 0as the /i(st ti4eH Dea(s a)o? :he 0is 0i Te((y? Ah thou)ht she 0is a ni.e lassie n a0? :he .ould /ai( tu(n it oan 0hen she 0anted tae? It 0is di//e(ent the se.ond ti4e? A0 ah 0anted 0as a sha)- n ah )ot
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yin? Ah /elt ba((y aboot that- until she telt 4e that she 0as up the sti.1? Ah .ouldnae belie+e it? Then 0ee Ja.5ueline? 6o(n a /e0 0ee1s e/ti( Lu.y- Te((y3s 0i/e- hud Jason? Ah 0anted e+e(ythin) 0hen ah .a4e oot ay the ni.1? Espe.ially a bi(d? :o aye- ah )oat 4a hole@ the p(i.e 0as a 0eddin) (in) and the (esponsibility ay a 0i/e n bai(n? It 0as /a( too 4u.h- e+en i/ he( n 4e hud been bette( suited? Ah .ouldnae 0ait tae )et oot the hoose- a0ay /ae he(@ he( n he( pals- li1e Cat(iona- Doyle3s siste(? They 0ould sit (oond the hoose n s4o1e a0 day? Ah 0anted a0ay /ae the4- a0ay /ae thei( bai(ns? Thei( s.(ea4in)- )(eetin) bai(ns? Ah 0anted a.tion any0he(e ah .ould /ind it? Ah 0is too auld tae be a .ashie (eally- 4ost ay the boys 0e(e a )ood /i+e yea(s youn)e( than 4e? 6ut ah3d 4issed ti4e- n ah3d al0ays loo1ed youn)e( than ah 0is? Ah )ot intae that /o( a .ouple ay seasons? Then ah sta(ted )aun tae the .lubs 0i Ca(l? A0ay /ae the4- Gail n that .(o0d- but also- ah suppose- a0ay /ae Ja.5ueline? :o aye- ah loat ay it 0is doon tae 4e- .ause ah 0isnae a(oond a lot? 6ut he 0is? Hi4? Then she 0as seein) that .unt? Hi4? ,hen ah .hallen)ed he(- she 2ust lau)hed in 4a /a.e? Telt 4e 0hat he 0as li1e in bed? 6ette( than 4e@ 4u.h bette( than 4e- she said? A (eal ani4al- she telt ays? Could hu4p a0 ni)ht? Co.1 li1e a pile d(i+e(? Ah thoat aboot him, n ah .ouldnae belie+e it? :he 4ust3+e been tal1in aboot so4ebody else? It .ouldnae be =.=u((ay- no Pol4ont@ no that /u.1in ne(+ous- d(ippy .unt- that shitein puppet ay Doyle3s? :he 0ent oan n oan- and ah 0anted he( tae shut up? Telt he( tae shut he( /u.1in di(ty slut 4ooth- but ah3d telt he( so 4any ti4es- n a0 she3d /u.1in 0ell dae is 2ist open it 0ide( and 0ide(? Ah .ouldnae ta1e it? G(abbed he( by the hai(? :he batte(ed 4e- 0e /ou)ht? Ah hud he( hai( and God /u.1in help 4e- ah 0is )aunny )ie he( it? Ah

.len.hed 4a /ist intae a ball- pulled it ba.1 and and and and and 4a dau)hte( 0as behind 4e- she3d )oat up oot ay he( bed tae hea( 0hat the (o0 0as a0 aboot? =a elba0 0ent intae he( /a.e- .(ushed the side ay he( /a.e- he( /(a)ile 0ee bones? ? ? ah ni+i( 4eant tae hu(t no tae hu(t 0ee Ja.5ueline? 6ut the .ou(t ne+e( sa0 it that 0ay? Ah 0as ba.1 in 2ail- in :au)hton- a p(ope( ni.1- nae D?O?3s stu// this ti4e (oond? 6a.1 inside- 0i ti4e tae thin1? Ti4e tae hate?
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The one ah hated 4ost thou)h- it 0isnae he(- o( e+en hi4? It 0is 4eF me, the stupid- 0ea1 4u)? Oh- ah batte(ed that .unt a0(i)ht? 6atte(ed u4 0i e+e(ythin)@ al.ohol- pills- s4a.1? Pun.hed 0a0s until the bones in 4a hands b(o1e and they s0elled up tae the siEe ay baseball )lo+es? 6u(ned /ilthy- (edBb(o0n holes intae 4a ai(4s 0i .i)a(ettes? Ah so(ted that .unt oot a0(i)ht- ah pished all o0e( the basta(d? And ah did it so 5uietly- so snea1ily- that no 4any sa0 past the .hee1y- 0asted s4ile? The othe( .unts ah 1ept a0ay /ae? 7est(ainin o(de(? Cept a0ay /ae the4 until no0? No0 that .o0 is (i)ht he(e- 2ust a /e0 steps a0ay? It 0isnae sae 4u.h seein her, it 0as seein 0ee Ja.5uelineF the state ay the bai(n? Just seein the 0ee lassie li1e that@ she 0as 0ea(in) )lesses? It 2ist 4ade ays so sad? Glesses- oan a 0ee )i(l that a)e? Ah thou)ht aboot the s.hool- the teasin)- the .(uel .unts 0e .ould be 0hen 0e 0e(e 0ee- and ho0 ah .ouldnae dae anythin) tae p(ote.t he( /ae it? Thou)ht ay ho0 that si4ple- /u.1in stupid- .os4eti.- totally +alueless thin) li1e a pai( ay /u.1in )lesses .ould .han)e the 0ay people sa0 he(- .han)e the 0ey she )(e0 up? He( =a3s side@ that .o0 0as as blind as a /u.1in bat? Could see a .o.1 a 4ile a0ay but- she ne+e( hud any p(oble4s thai(e? Ey0is used tae tal1 aboot )ittin .onta.t lenses 0hen 0e 0e(e the)ithe(? :he ne+e( 0o(e he( )lesses ootside- ah used tae hud oantae he( 0hen 0e 0e(e oot li1e ah 0is he( /u.1in )uide du)? :he 0is the /u.1in du) but? In the hoose it 0is di//e(ent@ he( sittin a(oond li1e that /u.1in /at lassie in 0an the Buses. :he see4s tae be able tae see no0- so she3s p(obably in+ested in a setF that3s 0hy the 0ee yin3s 0ea(in ob+iously handB4eBdoon .lathes? That typi/ies that +ain .o03s p(io(ities? No0 she3s )oat Ja.5ueline3s )lesses oa/ and she3s polishin) the4 0ith a han1y- standin) thai(e in he( shabby 2ay1it- polishin 4a bai(n3s .heap )lesses? And ah 0as thin1in)- 0hy .an you no )et a p(ope( .loth ? ? ? ? ? ? 0hy .an3t ah dae that /o( the 0ee yin ? ? ? Nae /u.1in a..ess? And althou)h ah should3+e 0al1ed a0ay- ah34 st(ai)ht o+e( the (oad tae0a(ds the4? I/ that .o03s )oat .onta.t lenses she should ta1e the4 ba.1 .ause they3(e shite? I34 p(a.ti.ally (i)ht up he( e(se by the ti4e she loo1s up? I A0(i)ht- ah says tae he( and loo1 doon at Ja.5ueline? I Hiya s0eethea(t? The bai(n s4iles- but ba.1s a0ay a 0ee bit? :he ba.1s a0ay /ae 4e? I It3s Daddy- ah s4ile at he(? Ah hea( the 0o(ds .o4e oot 4a
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4ooth- n it sounds patheti.@ bis.uitBe(sed and 4ooseyB/a.ed at the sa4e ti4e? I ,hat do you 0ant- the nonBpe(son hoo( as1s? :he loo1s at 4e li1e ah34 a so/t pie.e ay shite and be/o(e ah 1in say anythin) ba.1 adds- I Ah34 no 0antin bothe( a)ain- And(e0- ah3+e /u.1in 0ell telt yeG Dou should be /u.1in 0ell asha4ed tae sho0 yi( /a.e in /(ont ay he(? :he loo1s doon at the 0ee yin? That 0is ? ? ? That 0is a /u.1in a..ident ? ? ? It 0is her /u.1in /ault ??? he( /u.1in 4ooth- the thin)s she /u.1in 0ell said ? ? ? Ah 0ant tae 2ust pun.h he( t0isted slut 4ooth- s0ea(in) li1e the /u.1in di(ty hoo( she is- (i)ht in /(ont ay the bai(n- but that3s e9a.tly 0hat she 0ants- so ah34 t(yin so ha(d- so despe(ately /u.1in ha(d- tae stey .ool? I Jist 0ant tae so(t so4e thin oot so ah 1in see he( so4eti4es- so 0e .an a)(ee so4ethin ? ? ? I It3s a0 been settled- she says? I Aye- settled by youse- 0i 4e hu+in nae say ? ? ? Ah /eel 4asel losin the (a) he(e- and ah dinnae 0ant it tae be li1e this? Ah 2ist 0ant tae tal1? I Ta1e it tae yi( la0ye( i/ ye dinnae li1e it- this has a0 been settled- she (epeats- a0 slo0 n p(e.ise? A /u.1in la0ye(- 0hat3s she oan abootH ,hai(e dae ah )it a /u.1in la0ye( /aeH Then she loo1s at this .unt .o4in doon the (oad- aye- it3s him a0(i)ht- and pulls oan the bai(n3s hand? I C34oan- the(e3s Daddy ? ? ? she t0ists he( 4ooth at 4e? He( 0o(ds tu(n li1e a 1ni/e? Ho0 did ah i+i( /u.1in )o 0i he(H Ah 4ust3+e been 4ad? And he3s standin) the(e- loo1in at 4e- ehs heid .o.1ed tae the side? :till 0i that /unny build- no s1inny- but /lat- li1e eh3s been (un o0e( by a stea4(olle(? Loo1s 0ide /ae the /(ont- but no0t /ae the sideF li1e ye .ould slide u4 unde( a doo(? I Daddy ? ? ? the bai(n says- and (uns o0e( tae him. Eh hu)s he( and then pushes he( o0e( tae the hoo( the pe(( 0ee an)el3s been b(ou)ht up tae .all he( =a? Eh 0hispe(s so4ethin) in he( ea( n she ta1es the bai(n by the hand and they 0al1 a bit doon the (oad? The 0ee yin loo1s at 4e- n )ies 4e a 0ee 0a+e?

Ah t(y tae say- taBta hen- but no0t .o4es oot? 7aisin 4a hand- ah 0a+e ba.1 at Ja.5ueline- 0at.hin the4 )othe 0ee yin as1in he( 5uestions? No thit that i)no(ant .o0 0ould be able tae unde(stand the4- ni+i( 4ind ans0e( the4? And he3s .o4e .lose( n eh3s nea(ly in 4a /a.e? I ,hat the /u.1
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dae you 0antH eh )oes- but it3s a0 a sho0 /i( he(- .ause eh3s /u.1in (attled- ye 1in see the /ea( in ehs eyes? No0 ah34 en2oyin it tae /u.1- en2oyin this 0ee 5uiet 4o4ent bet0een us- ha+in (eal /un /o( the /i(st ti4e? Ah loo1 at the .unt? Ah .ould /u.1in 2ust ha+e hi4- (i)ht he(e and no0? Eh 1ens it- ah 1en it- but 0e both 1en 0hat 0ould happen i/ ah did? The polis and the Doyles on 4a .ase? A d(ea4 ti.1et that? Thi(3s no 2ust 4e tae thin1 aboot n a0? 6illy ba.1ed ays up n )oat a /lense( oan the .hin /o( ehs t(ouble? I Dou3+e been /u.1in telt? Dinnae 4a1e us tell ye a)ain- eh says- pointin at 4e- then s.(at.hin ehs bea1? Ne(+es? De 1in see ehs eyes 0ate(in? OneBtaeBone isnae his style at a0? Li1e the last ti4e@ eh shat it then and it3s the sa4e no0? Eh3s still a /(e.1leB/a.ed .unt? At t0entyBsi9- o( t0entyBse+en e+en? I Funny- ah see4 tae 4ind ay bein 4ai( 0o((ied the last ti4e? =ibbe it 0is the .o4pany ye 0i( in? The .o4pany yi( no in no0- ah s4ile- loo1in at hi4then o0e( ehs shoodi( at he( and the bai(n- 0i a su()e ay )uilt? ,ee Ja.5ueline doesnae need this in he( li/e? :he loo1s at us- and ah .annae loo1 ba.1 at he(? Ah tu(n a0ay ba.1 tae hi4? Then a .a( ho(n sounds? He loo1s o0e( 4a shoodi( and says- I Till late(- 4o+in a0ay? I Too (i)ht- ya .(appin .unt- ah lau)h- 0onde(in 0hy eh 0is in su.h a hu((y? O( 4ibbe the .unt thoat ah3d ba.1ed doon? Fo( a li+id se.ond- ah ta1e a step /o(0a(d- be/o(e stoppin)? Na0- it 0isnae the ti4e? Ah tu(n tae see 0hae tooted and it3s 6illy3s .a( 0i Te((y in it 0i hi4? They )et oot and he3s (i)ht oa/ doon the (oad sha(pish- in.(easin ehs pa.e? Nae 0onde(? ,hen eh )ets tae he( n the bai(n- eh pi.1s up Ja.5ueline and sti.1s he( oan ehs shoodi(s? That cunt sti.1s 4a /u.1in bai(n oan ehs shoodi(s? They head doon the (oad? That /u.1in Gail hoo(3s the only one loo1in ba.1 at us? Te((y3s up alon)side 4e n eh3s s4ilin a0 .oolly at he( and she tu(ns a0ay? I ,hat3s the sto(yH 6illy as1s- noddin tae auld =(s Ca(lops 0hae3s .o4in doon the (oad 0i t0o bi) ba)s ay 4essa)es? Ah34 no )ittin 6illy o( Te((y in+ol+ed in this a)ain? That Pol4ont3s /u.1 all@ he dies? And DoyleH Ah loo1 at 6illy3s s.a(? Ah3+e no0t tae lose? He 1in ha+e it n a0? I Nae sto(y- ah tell hi4? Ah t(y tae
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s4ile o+e( at =(s Ga(lops? Pe(( auld .o0- she3s toilin in the heat 0i they t0o bi) ba)s ay shoppin? 6illy )oes o0e( tae =(s Ga(lops and ta1es the ba)s o// he( and sti.1s the4 in the boot ay ehs .a(? Eh opens the passen)e( doo(? I Dou )it in thai(e- =(s Ca(lops- n ta1e the 0ei)ht oa/ yi( /eet? I De su(e- sonH I Ah34 2ist )aun that 0ey- =(s Ga(lops- doon tae 4uh =a3s- so it3s nae bothe( at a0? I T(yin tae .ai((y a 0ee bit too 4u.h- she 0heeEes- .li4bin) in? I Ah3+e )oat oo( Go(don3s /ai4lay .o4in up /ae Do(1 so ah thoat ah3d )it so4e stu// in ??? Te((y3s loo1in at this- as i/ eithe( =(s Ca(lops o( 6illy is a bit da/t by bein) in this situation- then eh tu(ns sha(ply tae 4e? I They .unts /u.1in you aboot a)ainH eh )oes tae ays? I Jist lea+e it- Te((y- ah tells u4- but 4y +oi.e sounds b(eathless n ah34 di))in 4a nails intae the pal4s ay 4a hands? Te((y (aises ehs hands in a de/ensi+e postu(e? Eh loo1s li1e eh )oat .au)ht in that do0npou(? Ehs hai( n 2ay1it a(e 0et? 6illy3s eyes /ollo0 them (i)ht doon the st(eet? The 0ee yin oan his shoodi(s? The thin) is- the 0o(se thin)- she (eally li1es hi4? :o4e thin)s ye .annae /a1e? Ah ta1e a deep b(eath- then t(y tae s0allo0 this thin) thit3s 2a44ed in 4a th(oat? I ,hat youse up taeH 6illy says- I Ah3d 2ust /inished t(ainin? Ah 0is d(i+in past the G(an)e 0hen ah sa0 this (ad)e p(o0lin a(oond the st(eets? Eh nea(ly shat a b(i.1 0hen ah peeped u4? I ,hat 0i( you daein p(o0lin a(oond they bi) hooses up the G(an)e- as i/ 0e didnae 1enH ah as1 Te((y? I Ah34 4indin 4a ain business- eh nods doon the (oad- they3(e oot ay si)ht no0- I so ah3d li1e you tae e9tend 4e the sa4e .ou(tesy- =( Gallo0ay- eh says? I Fai( enou)h- ah a)(ee sha(pish? I Douse /an.y a pintH eh as1s? 6illy e9hales sha(ply- loo1in at Te((y as i/ eh3s 2ist su))ested ta1in) up non.in)? I No 0ay- ah34 )aun tae )it auld Jinty Ga(lops ha4e- then ah34 oa/ tae 4uh =a3s /o( 4a tea? Ah3+e )oat tae 1eep in shape- ah34 in t(ainin 4ind? Te((y sta(ts th(ashin ehs .hist 0i ehs inde9 /in)e(? I :o a(e 0e 6i((ell- /o( the hoaliday in =uni.h at the

6ee( Fest? 6ut 6illy3s no i4p(essed? I 7i)ht- ah3ll lea+e yis tae it then? :ee yis
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doon at Ca(l3s .lub the 4o(n3s ni)ht- eh )oes- 4o+in tae the .a(? Then eh tu(ns ba.1 tae 4e n 0in1s- I Dou ta1e it easy- o1ay palH Ah s4ile n /o(.e a 0in1 ba.1? I 7i)ht- .hee(s 6illy? 6i((ell hops o// intae the 4oto(- lea+in) 4e and Te((y? I That 6i((ell3s a /ast 0o(1e(- eh 1ens ho0 tae pull a0(i)ht- Te((y lau)hs as 6illy n auld =(s Ga(lops head o//? I ,heatshea/H eh sais? I Aye? A0(i)ht? Ah .ould dae 0i a be++y- ah tell u4? Ah .ould /u.1in 0ell dae 0i a /e0? ,e head tae the ,heatshea/? Te((y sets up the bee(s n pu4ps up the 2u1ey? Ah34 still daEed- a0 ah 1in thin1 aboot 0is 4a .(ossbo0 bolt e9plodin intae that Pol4ont .unt3s heid- e/ti( the sa4u(ai s0o(d3s ta1en it o//ay ehs shoodi(s- that is? :end the .ontents tae Doyle in a bo9? Aye- you 1in hu+ it n a0- ya .unt? The po0e( ay no )iein a /u.1? Then ah thin1 aboot the bai(n? =y =a? :heena? Na0- ye al0ays )ie a /u.1? Te((y .o4es ba.1 0i a .ouple ay pints ay la)e(? Te((y3s a .apital )ad)e- one ay the best? Eh a.ts the .unt so4eti4es- but thi(3s nae badness in hi4? I Dou )aunny sit thai(e in a 0o(ld ay yi( ainH eh as1s? I That .unt- 0i 4a bai(n? Hi4 ??? ah seethe? I B? ? ? and he(- that /u.1in hoo(? They /u.1in 0ell dese(+e ea.h othe(? Ah 1en that loads ay .unts )ied he( the 4essa)e- e+e(y /u.1e( 0a(ned ays- e+e(y .unt3s been thai(e- they says? Ah 0idnae listen but? Te((y loo1s at ays- a0 )(a+e- li1e eh3s annoyed? I 6it /u.1in se9ist thai(e- =( Gallo0ay? ,hat3s that a0 abootH ,hat3s 0(on) 0i a bi(d li1in a bit ay .o.1H ,e li1e /anny? Ah thin1 that eh3s t(yin tae 0ind ays up- but eh3s no- eh3s se(ious? I Aye- but 0hen she 0is 4eant tae be 0i 4e- that3s 0hat ah34 tal1in aboot? Te((y says no0t tae this? Eh loo1s o0e( n .lo.1s Ale. .o4in intae the pub? Eh shouts o0e(- I Ale. ? ? ? Ale. loo1s /u.1ed o//? Eh3s 0al1in 0i a stoop as eh .o4es o0e( tae us? I ,hat3s up 0i you( /a.e- Te((y as1s? I ,ent tae see he( the day ??? eh says- a0 4o(osely? I Ethel- eh 0heeEes so/tly? I A0- Te((y )oes? Ale. 4eans that eh3s been tae the .e4ete(y- o( the .hapel ay (est ah thin1 they .all it at the .(e4ato(iu4? Ethel 0is ehs 0i/e- the 0o4an that died in the /i(e? Inhalation ay s4o1e? This 0is yon1s a)o- 0hen ah /i(st 1ent u4? Ale.3s son3ll no tal1 tae hi4 .ause they thin1 it 0is Ale.3s
1*#

/ault? :o4e say it 0is Ale. 0i the .hipBpan- be++ied- othe(s thit it 0is an ele.t(i.al /ault? ,hate+e( it 0is it 0is bad ne0s /o( hi4- and /o( he(? I ,hat yis 0antin tae d(in1H Te((y as1s Ale.- then 4e? Ah sh(u)- so does Ale.? I T(ust 4e tae pi.1 the /un .o4pany- eh )oes?

;i9ht6are on (l6 Ro"
=a heid 0as poundin) and 4a 4ooth 0as as d(y as a nun3s t0at as I planned tae )et a bus ba.1 ha4e tae .hill oot a bit be/o(e Ca(l3s .lub sta(ts? As ah 0at.hed the st(eetli)hts sepa(ate 0i 4a 4o+e4ent tae0a(ds the4ah (ealised that ah 0is nea( La((y ,ylie3s ne0 )a// n ah 0is 0onde(in 0hethe( eh3d 0ant so4e ay they E3s o//ay 4e? The ent(yphone syste43s b(o1en but the stai(doo(3s open? As ah .li4b the stai(s ah34 a0a(e that the E buEE is (unnin doon and that ah34 still /u.1ed 0i the be++y /ae yeste(day? That .unt Te((y .an /ai(ly piss it up? T(ainin) /o( the bee( /esti+al he says? ,ell- it3s been a lon) and dedi.ated t(ainin) p(o)(a44e /o( the .unt- aboot /i/teen yea(s app(o9i4ately? I/ 6illy .ould pu(sue bo9in 0i the sa4e sin)leB4indedness- eh3d hu+ uni/ied the ,o(ld Tide by no0? Ah p(essed the doo(bell- 1no0in al(eady that it3s )aunny be a 4ista1e? Ah34 2ust p(opelled tae0a(ds disaste(@ thi(3s /u.1 all ah 1in dae aboot it? The 0o(st has al(eady happened- the (est is 2ust details? ,ho )ie3s a tossH La((y 0as e+en nippie( than usual 0hen he ans0e(ed the doo(- e+entually- a/te( shoutin) behind it- I ,ho3s thatH I Gally- ah told hi4? La((y loo1ed u()ently at 4e- .he.1in nae .unt3s .o4in up the stai(s behind ays? The /u.1e( loo1s 0i(ed- the pa(anoia3s tea(in ootay hi4- so tan)ible ye .ould sti.1 it bet0een t0o sli.es ay b(eed? I Co4e in- 5ui.1- eh said tae ays? I ,hat3s upH Ah )it the 5uestion oot as eh pills ays intae the hoose n sla4s the doo( behind 4e- then bolts it t0i.e- slidin) ho4e t0o indust(ialBsiEed /u.1e(s? Eh pointed th(ou)h tae the (oo4? I A load ay bullshit he(e- eh )estu(ed th(ou)h- loo1in ahead- lost in /o.us? I Fat Phil- ah stabbed the .unt- eh said bitte(ly?

1*7

Ah /elt li1e tu(nin oan 4a heels (i)ht then- but that3s a loat ay 4etal tae )it th(ou)h and La((y3s state ay 4ind 0as ob+iously +olatile- e+en by the .unt3s ain ho((endous standa(ds? 6esides- ah3+e nae /ea(- ah34 2ist .u(ious? Ah de.ided that (i)ht then 0isnae the ti4e tae as1 %hy eh stabbed Phil but? I Is eh a0(i)htH La((y loo1ed at ays as i/ ah 0is bein 0ide /o( a se.ond- then eh bu(st intae a bi)- beauti/ul- bea4in) s4ile? I Fu.1ed i/ ah 1en- eh 0ent- then .han)ed in a /lash intae business 4ode? I De 0ant that base speedH eh )oes 0i 4ai( than 2ist an ai( ay i4patien.e? Ah34 he(e tae sell- no tae buy? I Eh aye- but ah3+e )oat so4e )ood E3s he(e La((y ??? ah telt u4- but the .unt 0isnae listenin)? Ah /ollayed La((y ben the /(ont (oo4- then th(ou)h tae the 1it.hen oa/ it? Fat Phil 0as sittin) at the 1it.hen table? Ah nodded tae hi4- but his eyes 0e(e sta(in o// intae the distan.e- see4in)ly /o.used on so4ethin)? He 1ept a /old ay sheetin) p(essed tae ehs sto4a.h? It 0as a bit bloody- but no (eally satu(ated o( no0t li1e that? La((y 0as a0 tense and ani4ated? Ah 0onde(ed i/ he 0as speedin)? I ,hi.h 0ill b(in) us ba.1 to doh ??? eh sin)s- a0 ound ay "usicBstyle- theat(i.ally pleased 0i ehsel- thu4bs in i4a)ina(y b(a.es? Then eh )its )lesses oot ay a 1it.hen .upboa(d- /ollayed by a boatil ay JD- pou(in t0o la()e nips /i( 4e n hi4? I ,hai(e3s the /u.1in Co.aBColaH EhH eh sais- then eh shouts th(ou)h the (oo4 ne9t doo(- I ,HICH CANT3: NICCED THE FACCIN COCEH Ah hea(d /ootsteps /ae a bed(oo4 and =u(iel =athie .a4e th(ou)h 0ith so4e banda)es n a pai( ay s.isso(s? :he 0as 0ea(in a )uy3s .he.1ed shi(t- 0hi.h 4i)ht ha+e been La((y3s- and loo1ed at 4e tensely as she 0ent o+e( to Phil? I Nae Co1eH La((y as1ed- his /a.e set in a .hallen)in) s4ile? I Nup- she )oes? I De )aun doon tae the )a(a)e /i( so4eH eh u()es? I It 0is youse thit /u.1in 0ell d(un1 it? Ho034 ah tae o//e( a )uest a d(in1H =u(iel spun (oond b(andishin) the s.isso(s at La((y? The lassie 0is /ai(ly 2oltin) 0i (a)e? I Dou /u.1in )it itG Ah3+e hud enou)h ay you La((y- ah34 tellin yeG La((y loo1ed at 4e 0i a s4i(1 oan ehs /a.e? Eh sp(ead ehs ai(4s n e9tended ehs pal4s? I Ah 0is 4e(ely en5ui(in) as to the status o/ the Co.aBCola- eh sais? I It3ll ha+e tae be neat- Gally? Chin .hin- eh toasts- n 0e ta1e a s0allay? :ha(on Fo(syth .a4e in /(o4 the sa4e bed(oo4 and loo1ed o+e( the s.ene- as e9.ited and a0est(u.1 as so4e 0ee sta(let 0ho3s landed a
1**

pa(t in a bi) 4o+ie? I This is 4ental ? ? ? hiya And(e0- she said- s4ilin at 4e? :ha(on 0is 0ea(in a bottleB )(een .otton slee+eless .(opBtop? :he hud he( na+el e9posed and it hud been pie(.ed? Ah3d ne+e( seen that be/o(e? It loo1ed .ool- se9y- slutty? I 6(illiant :ha(on? :e9y- ah telt he(- pointin tae it? I De li1e itH Ah thin1 it3s 2ust ba((y- =( =a.a(i- she )i))led? He( hai( loo1ed )(easy and un1e4pt? Could dae 0i a 0ash? Ah 4i)ht o//e( tae 0ash it /o( he( i/ she3s intae )aun uptae Fluid? Ca(l disnae li1e that .(o0d in the pla.e but? Calls the4 the 3s.he4ie ele4ent3? Fu.1in .hee1 ay hi4- e+en i/ eh 4eans it as a 2o1e? Ah3+e al0ays been intae :ha(on and ah 0ent a0ay 0ith he( 0hen ah .a4e out o/ the ni.1- the p(ope( ni.1- a /e0 yea(s a)o? A0 ah thoat aboot 0is se9 0hen ah 0is inside- but 0hen ah )oat oot- ah hud loads ay shite in 4a heid .ause ay that Gail .o0 and ah .ouldnae )et it up? :ha(on but- she ne+e( 4ade 4e /eel bad aboot it? That3s 0hat ah .all .lass in a bi(d? :he see4ed tae a..ept 4a p(isonBdoesBthin)sBtaeBaB4an spee.h? I ,is it sai( tae )et doneH I No (eally- but ye hu+ tae 1eep it .lean? 6ut lon) ti4e no see ??? .34e(e ? ? ? ,e )ied ea.h othe( a eupho(i. dan.e/loo( e4b(a.e? G(eat lassie- :ha(on- e+en thou)h ah .ould /eel the )(ease /ae he( hai( oan 4a /a.e.lo))in) up 4a ain po(es? Ah34 0onde(in i/ La((y3s sha))in he(? P(obably? Eh3s de/initely sha))in =u(iel? O+e( he( shoodi( ah sa0 =u(iel- still tendin) Phil- steal a 5ui.1 )lan.e at La((y 0ho shot he( ba.1 a .hallen)in) sta(e as i/ to say 30hatH3 be/o(e he sta(ted di))in) a(ound in a d(a0e(? As :ha(on and 4e b(o1e ou( hu) Fat Phil )(unted so4ethin)? He 0as b(eathin) hea+ily- and =u(iel 0as 4utte(in) to he(sel/? I Goat so4e /u.1in )ood s1a)- La((y s4iled? I De 0ant a ban)H :1a)H Eh3s a /u.1in .o4edian? I Na0that3s no 4a thin)- ah tell hi4? I Isnae 0hat ah hea(d- eh 0in1ed? I That 0is a 0hile ba.1 no0- ah tell hi4? :ha(on loo1ed at La((y? I ,e3ll no )it intae a .lub i/ 0i( a0 s1a))ed up- La((y? I :ta(in at 0a0s is the ne0 nite.lubbin? :ais so in The .ace, eh )(inned? =u(iel atte4pted tae ta1e Phil3s shi(t o// but he b(ushed he( a0ay- the 4o+e4ent .ausin) hi4 4o(e pain than he(? =u(iel pe(sisted- I Dou3+e loast a loat ay blood he(e- ye3d bette( )it tae the hoaspital? Ah3ll )it an a4bulan.e?

1*9

I Na0- Phil 0heeEed- I nae hoaspitals- nae a4bulan.e? He 0as s0eatin) p(o/usely- espe.ially /(o4 his head? It )athe(ed intae beads 0hi.h dotted ehs /a.e? La((y nodded in a.5uies.en.e? This 0as the 1ind ay s.ene 0he(e a0 o//i.ialdo4- e+en the 4aist beni)n ay the e4e()en.y se(+i.es- 0is instin.ti+ely dist(usted? Nae polis? Nae a4bulan.e- e+en thou)h eh 4i)ht be bleedin) tae death? Thi( see4ed a bit 4ai( blood oan the sheetin no0? Ah .ould see Fat Phil in a hoose that 0is bu(nin) doon a(ound u4 n hi4 shoutinF Nae /i(e b(i)adeG I 6ut you3+e )oat tae- yu+ )oat tae- =u(iel said and then she sta(ted sh(ie1in)- li1e she 0as ha+in) a pani. atta.1- and :ha(on 0ent to .al4 he(? I Dinnae )it hyste(i.al o( it 4i)ht (ub oa/ oan Phil ? ? ? :ha(on tu(ned tae Phil 0hae 0is still loo1in) aheadsheet .(ushed tae his )ut? I ??? :o((y- Phil- but ye 1en 0hat ah 4ean- it3s li1e i/ she 4a1es it sound 0o(se thin it is you3ll 0o((y n yi( blood p(essu(e3ll )it hi)h n yi3ll bleed /aste( ? ? ? La((y nodded app(o+in)ly- I That3s (i)htG T(y tae see so4e /u.1in sense- =u(iel- yi3ll 2ist 4a1e it /u.1in 0o(se- eh sno(ts? Eh had his 0o(1s and ushe(ed ays intae the othe( (oo4? I These .unts nip 4a /u.1in heid? Thi(3s so4e people ye .annae /u.1in help- eh says- li1e a so.ial 0o(1e( 0i a hea+y .aseload- 0ho3s 2ust .o4e tae the end ay his tethe(? Ah3d de.ided that ah 0anted a shot 0hen he as1ed 4e a)ain? It 0asn3t that ah said yes- it3s 2ust that ah .ouldnae say 3na03- o( say 3na03 and 4ean it? =y body see4ed tae )o .old- and 4a thou)hts a0 dis.onne.ted and abst(a.t? It 0is a bit da/t as ah3d been up a0 ni)ht on the piss 0ith Te((y and ah 0isnae in the best .ondition /o( this? As La((y p(odu.ed the 0o(1s and sta(ted .oo1in- ah 0is )aunny say 3ah3ll 2ust .hase 4ine3 but it sounded so da/t and pointless? :o the(e ah 0is- tappin up a +ein? La((y spi1ed ays? As soon as the )ea( su()ed th(ou)h 4a syste4 it .o4pletely o+e(0hel4ed 4e and ah lost .ont(ol and passed out? Ah thou)ht that ah3d been /u.1ed /i( 2ust a /e0 4inutes but =u(iel 0as sha1in) and slappin) 4e and she 0as ob+iously (elie+ed 0hen ah 0as .o4in) to? Ah s4elt- then sa0- the si.1 on 4y .hest? La((y 0as sittin) 0at.hin) a Ja.1ie Chan +ideo? I :u((ounded by /u.1in li)ht0ei)hts- eh .hu.1led 0ithoot hu4ou(? I Telt ays you .ould handle the b(oon n a0?
190

Ah t(ied tae spea1- tae say that it had been a lon) ti4e- but ah /elt the )a))in) .ou)h ay a.(id pu1e in 4a th(oat and ah nodded tae =u(iel 0hae had a )less ay 0ate( by he( side? Ah sipped- al4ost .ho1in)- but it 0asnae un.o4/o(table- it 0as a slo0- s4ooth- hot .a(ess in 4a th(oat n lun)s .ause the )ea( 0is daein) its 2ob? :ha(on3s sittin oan .ou.h (unnin) he( /in)e(s th(ou)h 4a hai(- then 4assa)in 4a ne.1 li1e ah34 E3d up? I Dou3(e a bad boy- And(e0 Gallo0ay? Dou had us a0 0o((ied the(e /o( a bit? Didn3t eh- La((yH I Aye- La((y )(unts dist(a.tedly- no loo1in) /ae the bo9? Ah )a+e a 0ee .a.1le- 2ust at the p(ospe.t ay La((y 0o((yin aboot anybody but ehsel? Ah 4ust ha+e lain the(e /o( o+e( an hou( Eonin) in and out o/ .ons.iousness 0ith :ha(on3s /in)e(s 0o(1in) 4y ne.1 and shoodi(s and La((y3s +oi.e Eoo4in) in and out o/ audioB(an)e- li1e a si)nal .o4in) th(ou)h and b(ea1in) up? I ??? this )ea( is the best ? ? ? you .ould 4a1e a /e0 bob shi/tin it ? ? ? e+e(y .unt3s )ittin /ea(t 0i the AID: but i/ yi( .a(e/ul it3s nae bothe( ??? )it the s4a.1 n the speed 4i9ed up ??? no the base- 4ind- /u.1 that ? ? ? Phil thoat eh 0is 0ide ? ? ? sta(ted na4in na4es ??? ah hate it 0hen .unts sta(t na4eBd(oppin e9pe.tin ye tae /a0 intae line ? ? ? tal1in) aboot the Doyles ? ? ? that Cat(iona ??? ah telt u4 ah 1en F(an.o n Le9o n that- so dinnae )ie me yi( Doyles ? ? ? then eh sta(ts a0 this shite aboot 4oney ? ? ? 1ens /u.1 all ??? no0t 0(on) 0i u4 ? ? ? thin1s that =u(iel3s )onny /eel a0 so((y /i( u4 n lit the /at .unt intae he( 1e1s ? ? ? :ha(on )ets up and .o4es ba.1 in a .han)e ay .lathes- pa(adin in /(ont ay 4e li1e a .at0al1 4odel? :he3s )oat oan a ti)ht pai( ay 0hite sla.1s and a bla.1BandB0hite st(iped toap? Ah 4ana)e tae )ie he( the thu4bs up? :he )oes tae the 1it.hen as La((y d(ones on and on aboot ehs (e.ent 4ino( at(o.ities in a 0ei(dly soothin) and .o4/o(tin) 0ey? I ??? he( that 0as in Dea.on3s ? ? ? thin1s she 1in .o.1Btease a0 she 0ants ??? no 0i this boy he(e she .annae ? ? ? slipped eh( a .ouple ay 2ellies tae 0ash doon 0i he( +oddy n she 0is oot li1e a li)ht? ? ? huh huh huh ? ? ? still )oat the Pola(oids? ? ? thai(e st(ai)ht doon the ba.1 ay that bus shelte( at the shoaps i/ that sla) steps oot ay line a)ain ? ? ? And it disnae 4atte( any4ai(? That3s the beauty ay it? No0t /u.1in 4atte(s? I ??? the 4aist 4in)in) .unt in the 0o(ld ??? ah sais tae he(- dae you ne+e( 0ash yi( /u.1in /anny ??? n see you( 4ate- Gally@ that Jui.e Te((y .unt ?? ? tell ays he3s no 0ide as /u.1 ? ? ? =u(iel .a4e in s.(ea4in) and Phil lu4be(ed th(ou)h behind he(?

191

His /a.e 0as 0hite 0ith sho.1 and pani. and eh 0as sta))e(in)- ehs blood no0 )ushin) intae the sheet? I Ah34 d(i+in) hi4 tae the hoaspital- she said? La((y- tae 4a sho.1- )oat up? I Lit3s )o? ,i sti.1 the)ithe(? Then eh adds- in son)- I Dou 1no0 0e 4ade a 0o0 to lu// one anBothBuh /o( e+B+ah ? ? ? Ah so(t ay p(otested- but La((y pilled ays tae 4a /eet? I ,ant tae hea( 0hat sto(y they .unts tell the hoaspital ? ? ? 4a1e su(e thi(3s nae )(assin up )aun oan ??? eh slu((ed? ,e all )ot intae the .a(- 0hi.h 0is pa(1ed in =ont)o4e(y :t(eet- 0i :ha(on d(i+in and Phil in the /(ont passen)e( seat n the (est ay us in the ba.1? La((y 0as /u.1ed- eh too1 anothe( hit in the hoose and he 0is /loatin) a0ay? I :ay no0t- 4ind ??? he said- passin) out? I T(y tae 1eep tae the ba.1st(eets as 4u.h as ye 1in :ha(on- =u(iel said- .lut.hin) a 6a(tholo4e03s +dinburgh City )lan, # 0i( no 0antin stoaped 0i they t0o a0 s1a))ed up? As :ha(on sta(ted up the .a( Phil be)an tae (eally sho0 ehs pani. /i( the /i(st ti4e? I THAT CANT ,DLIEG eh s.(ea4ed? I AH CANNAE 6ELIE8E EH DID THATG Ah 0is that 0ey 0he(e ah dinnae 1en 0hethe( o( no ah thou)ht o( said the 0o(ds- I 6elie+e it? I AH CANN ? ? ? Phil splutte(ed oan ehs 0o(ds? Eh a(.hed (ound in the seat and sla44ed a .hun1y /ist intae La((y3s /a.e? La((y 0o1e up- sayin)- I ,hat3s a0 this aboot- in a so(t ay nasal plead? =u(iel pushed Phil ba.1 and held ehs shoodi(s? I Phil- /o( /u.1 sa1e- sit still- yi( losin) blood- she pleaded? I This is pu(e (ad)e- :ha(on said? I T(y tae stey still- Phil- =u(iel i4plo(ed? I ,e3ll be thai(e in a bit? And 4indF ye .annae )(ass La((y up? I Ah3+e ni+i( )(assed any .unt up in 4a li/e- Phil s5uea1ed- I but he3s ? ? ? that .unt ? ? ? Phil tu(ned in the seat and t(ied tae ha+e anothe( )o at La((y- 0ho 2ust said- I C34on no0 ? ? ? and lau)hed? 6ut Phil 0as .o4in) out ay the sho.1 ay the stabbin)? Eh 0is /u.1in li+id at La((y? Eh )oat (ound a)ain and batte(ed hi4 in the puss? La((y t0isted li1e a (a) doll- his head snappin) ba.1 unde( the i4pa.t o/ the blo0? Eh 0is li1e one ay they noddin) du)s in the ba.1 ay 4oto(s? I That3s (i)ht Phil ? ? ? that3s enou)h ? ? ? =u(iel saidal4ost at the sa4e ti4e? Ah sta(ted tae lau)h? La((y3s eye 0as s0ellin) up- loo1in) li1e a (otten pie.e ay /(uit? I ,IDEO ? ? ? CANT ??? Phil sh(ie1ed- and :ha(on 0ent I
19(

OHHH as 4ai( blood- real blood- sta(ted .o4in) th(ou)h ontae ehs lap? Just as 0e pulled intae the A M EPhil .ollapsed a.(oss :ha(on? :he stopped the .a( aboot /i/ty ya(ds sho(t ay the /o(e.ou(t? =u(iel .ouldnae pill hi4 up- so she 2ust )oat oot n (an a.(oass the ta(4a.? La((y- daEed- /ell a.(oss 4y lap? I Fu.1in )(eat shit thisGally ? ? ? hus tae be said- he 4utte(ed- ehs 0asted /a.e loo1in up at 4e? The a4bulan.e boys 0e(e st(ai)ht oot and they had Phil /ae the 4oto( and they 0e(e ta1in) hi4 a0ay? They 0e(e st(u))lin) li1e /u.1 to )et hi4 /(o4 the )(ound onto the t(olley- e+en 0ith it /olded do0n? Ah shouted oan =u(iel and she .a4e a0ay- b(ushin) aside this pa(a4edi. 0ho 0as )estu(in) to0a(ds the des1? :he )ot in up /(ont beside :ha(on 0ho did a ni/ty bit ay (e+e(sin and 0e d(o+e o//? I ,he(e a(e 0e )aunH she as1ed? I The bea.h- ah su))ested- I Po(tobelly? I Ah 0ant tae )o .lubbin- :ha(on )oes? I That suits 4e- ah said- (e4e4be(in) that ah 0anted tae se(+e up at Ca(l E0a(t3s .lub- )it 4asel so(ted 0i so4e .ash /o( =uni.h? I ,e3ll no be )ittin intae any .lub the ni)ht- =u(iel s.o//ed? I Aye- Fluid- it3s 4a 4ate3s .lub- Fluid- 0e3ll )it in- ah slu(? La((y3s heid3s still oan 4a lap? Eh loo1ed up at ays and (aises a .len.hed /ist in salute? I ClublaaaandG ??? eh )asps loudly?

Li6itations
La((y ne+e( 4ade it past the boun.e(s on the doo( and =u(iel too1 hi4 ha4e? They let 4e n :ha(on in- only .ause ah34 Ca(l3s 4ate n she 0is 0i 4e? Ah 0is /u.1ed up- and ah dinnae (eally 4ind that 4u.h about the .lub? 6illy 0is tal1in tae ays /o( a bit- n ah thin1 Te((y said so4ethin) aboot the 6ee( Festi+al? :ha(on too1 ays ha4e? Ah 4ind ay he( pittin ays tae bed- then )ettin) in 0i 4e? In the ni)ht a )oat a ha(dBon and ah nea(ly ne+e( 4inded? :he 4ust3+e /elt it po1in a)ainst he(- .ause she 0o1e up and sta(ted playin 0i it- then tellin 4e tae /u.1 he(? ,hen she sta(ted 1issin ays deeply ah thoat /o( a 0hile ah 0is so4ebody else? Then it .a4e ba.1 tae ays e9a.tly 0ho ah 0is? Ah telt he( ah .ouldnae- it 0isnae he(- it 0is 4e? Thi( 0is nae .ondo4 and ah 2ist .ouldnae? :he 1ept a ti)ht hud ay ays- as ah telt he( that she 0is hin)in aboot 0i (ubbish- n ah in.luded 4asel/ in that- n told he( she 0is bette( thin that and that she should so(t it oot?
193

He( s0eaty /a.e pulled a0ay /ae 4ines and .a4e intae +ie0? I It3s a0(i)ht ? ? ? disnae 4atte(? Ah so(tay )uessed? Ah thoat ye 1entF ah34 li1e that n a0- she told 4e 0ith a 4is.hie+ous 0ee s4ile?

The(e 0is no /ea( in he( eyes? None at all? It 0as li1e she 0as tal1in aboot bein in the /u.1in =asons o( so4ethin)? It put the shits up 4e? Ah )oat up- 0ent th(ou)h- and sat .(ossBle))ed in the .hai(- loo1in at 4a .(ossbo0 oan the 0a0?

Terr# La"son
+art=ti6ers
The dole3s no as bad as the DH:: so4e say? Othe(s say di//e(ent? A.ade4i. /u.1in debate .ause tae 4e it3s a0 pa(t ay the sa4e shite@ .unts that 0ant tae po1e thi( /u.1in nose intae yi( a//ai(s? Aye- the basta(ds ha+e .alled ays in- so ah )its doon tae Castle Te((a.e /o( 4a appoint4ent? Dou(s t(uly3s thai(e at the stated ti4e- but the pla.e is 4obbed oot? It3s )aunny be a (i)ht /u.1in stall the loo1s ay it? :o ah34 0aitin oan the (ed plasti. seats 0i the (est ay the poo( /u.1e(s- t(yin tae )it .o4/o(table? They a0 loo1 the sa4e@ s.hools- polis stationsni.1s- /a.to(ies- DH:: and dole o//i.es? Any0he(e they p(o.ess the punte(s? Thi(3s the yella0 0a0s- the blue st(ip li)htin and the noti.e boa(d 0i one o( t0o /(ayed poste(s on it? The /i(st 0o(d oan the poste( o( si)n is usually 3No3- eithe( that o( it3s )oat one ay t0o 4essa)es oan it? It3s eithe(F 0e3+e )oat ou( eye oan youse .untso(F )(ass up yi( /(iends and nei)hbou(s /o( us? This one ah34 (eadin is e+e(y0hai(e no0F 2N<' <F A 1ENEF%T R%#,<FF> 3%&E 6S A TE$E#H<NE T%#, <FF Thi( 0is a 0ee bit ay bothe( the last ti4e ah 0is he(e at one ay they thin)s? They sent this /u.1in 0ide .o0 tae so(t ays oot- but it didnae 0o(1 oot the 0ey the .unts had planned? :he .a4e in 0i a0 they pa(ti.ula(stellin ays aboot this 2oab thit ah hud tae ta1e o( else they3d .ut oa/ 4a bene/it? The 0o4an hud that sti//- b(ittle hai( and she 0o(e a p(int d(ess? Eh( nost(ils 0i( t0it.hin in he( bea1 tae see i/ she 0is pi.1in up the
4?@

s.he4e o//ay 4e@ the /a)s- the bee(- 0he(e+e( the /u.1e(3s p(e2udi.es too1 he(? Ah loo1ed o+e( the pa(ti.ula(s- then- in nae hu((y- loo1ed up at the 0o4an? I ,ell- ah 0is (eally loo1in /o( /ullBti4e 0o(1- ah e9plained tae he(? Gie he( eh( due- she at least hud the )ood )(a.e tae loo1 a bit e4ba((assed as she e9plained- I This post is /ullBti4e- =( La0son- it3s eh- thi(tyBse+en hou(s a 0ee1? I =444 ??? is thi( no0t 2ist sellin ae(ated 0ate(s- ah as1 he(- I it3s 2ist thit ah3+e ey selt 2ui.e (oond the hooses? Oa/ the lo((ies- 1enH I No =( La0son- she says .oldly- I 0e3+e been th(ou)h this a thousand ti4es be/o(e? Dou .an3t sell 2ui.eas you .all it- /(o4 the ba.1 o/ lo((ies any 4o(e? :o/t d(in1s (etail di//e(ently no0adays? I 6ut ho0H ah as1- 4a1in su(e ah 1eep 4a 4ooth a 0ee bit open e/ti( ah3+e as1ed the 5uestion? I Cause it3s easie( /o( the .onsu4e(- she says a0 snooty? Pat(onisin .o0? Thi.1 as /u.1 n a0? Didnae hu+ a /u.1in s.ooby doo that ah 0is 2ist stallin /i( ti4e? I ,ell it disnae 4a1e it easie( /i( the li1es ay 4e? N thi(3s people ah 1en 0hae still as1 ays tae this day- ho0 is it thit thi(3s nae 2ui.e bein selt (oond the s.he4es ? ? ? auld 0i/ies thit .annae )it oot n that? :o 0i( )aun oan li1e that- but she3s no hu+in it at a0? :he tells 4e thit ah3+e )oat tae ta1e the 2oab in /(ont ay ays n that3s that? Ah 2ust .ouldnae a//o(d it@ it 0as as si4ple as that? It 0is the ti4e /a.to( 4ai( thin the 4oney- e+en i/ the dosh 0is a bad 2o1e? :e+entyB/i+e pen.e an hou( /o( /illin bu()e(sH 6ut the ti4e 0is 0o(se@ 1eepin ye in a bu()e( shoap 0hen ye .ould be oot 4a1in (eal 4oney? Ah3+e nae ti4e /o( thon? Thi(tyBse+en hou(s a 0ee1 daein that shiteH Fu.1 that? 6ut ah hud tae ta1e it? And- bein /ai( tae 4asel- ah did sti.1 it /i( t0o days? =e- 0o(1in a0ay 0i this 0ee )ad)ie- .o+e(ed in plu1es 0hi.h 0i(nae )aunny )it bette( +e(y 5ui.1 0i a0 the )(ease a(oond@ se(+in bu()e(s tae nippy d(un1s n da/t students n house0i+es 0i bai(ns- loo1in li1e a 4uppet in this uni/o(4? 6ut no /o( lon)? Then the(e ah 0as oan :unday e+enin)- sittin in the pub o0e( the (oad /ae the shoap? Aye- ah hud plenty 0itnesses tae say ah3d been thai( a0 ni)ht- and tae testi/y tae 4a sho.1 0hen auld Geo()e =.Candles .a4e in a0 e9.ited and telt us a0 that the ne0 bu()e( shoap they3d opened up oan the ,al1 0as oan /i(e? :u(e enou)h0e
19#

hea(d the si(ens 0ailin oan .ue and 0e spilled out ontae the pa+e4ent- pints in hand- tae 0at.h the /i(e0o(1s? 6eats the /u.1in telly any ti4e? The bi) su(p(ise 0is thit the polis didnae haul ays in (i)ht a0ay? They 0i( oan the s.ene p(etty 5ui.1 n they

.lo.1ed ays standin ootside the pub? I That3s 4a 0o(1 n a0- ah telt one .oppe(- /ei)nin out(a)e? I ,hat a4 ah )aunny daeH 7alphie :te0a(t hea(d this and )oes- I Aye Te((y- it 0id 4a1e ye ta1e up a li/e ay .(i4e- so it 0id? :o ah 0ent in the ne9t day- n the pla.e 0is )utted? The 4ana)e( 0is doon thai(e 0i a )uy /ae head o//i.e n so4e insu(an.e boy? Eh telt us that the pla.e 0is .losed n that 0i should )o ba.1 up tae the dole n si)n ba.1 oan? :o 0hen ah )oat up thai(e- the auld .o0 4ade a loat ay they insinuations that ti4e? The pe(( auld d(a)onshe ended up )ittin it ti)ht /o( o+e(steppin the 4a(1? That3s the best app(oa.h@ d(a0 the4 in by playin the da/t laddie- sittin thai( n noddin a0ay li1e the /u.1in +illa)e idiot- then they )it 2ist that 0ee bit too 0ide n .o.1y? That3s 0hen ye lit the .unts hu+ it 0i baith /u.1in ba((els? It3s that ba((y loo1 ay sho.1 oan thi( .oupons 0hin they see thit thu+ been done- thit thi( no 2ist 4essin 0i any /u.1in 4uppet 0ho they 1in sho(tB.han)e n 0ho3ll 2ist ta1e thi( bullshit- thi( dealin 0i so4e (eal /u.1in 0ideo 0i an eye /i( the 4ain .han.e? :o ah 0is noddin a0ay li1e a da/t .unt n she3s )aun- I It3s /unny- =( La0son- unable tae hide that she is /u.1in beelin- I this is t0i.e this has happened to pla.es you3+e 2ust sta(ted to 0o(1 in? 6in)oG Ah .li.1ed intae se.ond )ea(? Ah 2ust sat up- and /o.used (i)ht oan he(? Gie3d he( that 6i((ellBbe/o(eBtheBbell loo1? I ,hat a(e you on aboot- ah as1ed? I I 0as 2ust sayin) ? ? ? :he sta(ted tae )et a0 /luste(ed- that .han)e in )aEe- postu(e n tone ay +oi.e? Ah loo1ed at he(- leanin) a.(oss he( des1? I ,ell- ah34 2ust sayin) that I3d li1e you to )et you( supe(+iso( out he(e and (epeat 0hat you3+e said to 4e 2ust no0? I34 su(e the poli.e 0ill also be inte(ested in these alle)ations? P(io( to that- o/ .ou(se- I3ll )et in tou.h 0ith 4y soli.ito(? O1ayH :he sta(ted e9plodin) 0i s0eat- /a(t and sla+e(- he( he(t /u.1in 0ell )aun li1e the .lappe(s and he( bi) /at /a.e /lushin li1e a ne0ly installed topBayBtheB(an)e A(4ita)e :han1s? I I ??? I ??? I Get hi4- ah s4iled .oldly- d(u44in in .hee(/ul insisten.e on the des1- then added- I o( he(? I/ you please?
197

:o the supe(+iso( 0is sheepishly .alled@ o/ .ou(se by this ti4e the bi) /u.1in .o0 has )one intae sho.1 that 0hat sta(ted oot as the (outine ha(ass4ent ay so4e dod)y .unt /ae a s.he4e has /lipped o+e( intae the ni)ht4a(e s.ena(io? The dis.iplina(y /u.1in stain oan the othe(0ise e9e4pla(y (e.o(d? Aye- n they type ay stains 1in be stubbo(n /u.1e(s n a0 4issus- yi( A(iel n yi( DaE u(nae )aunny dae the biE he(e? The thin) ise+en i/ it3s 2ust a +e(bal- the ne9t p(o4o boa(d 0ill say- 3Des- the /at .unt is 4aybe e+il and 0a(ped enou)h to be a )ood DH:: supe(+iso(- but she la.1s the ne.essa(y .usto4e( .a(e s4a(4? Consi)n the silly /u.1e( tae (outine 4undane /ilin) duties until the ea(ly (eti(e4ent o( (edundan.y oppo(tunity p(esents itsel/ :o that /u.1e( )oat a d(essin doon n ah )oat a hal/Be(sed lette( ay apolo)yF Dea( =( La0sonI a4 0(itin) to apolo)ise on behal/ o/ the Dept o/ E4ploy4ent (e)a(din) .o44ents that 0e(e alle)edly 4ade to you(sel/ by one o/ ou( o//i.e(s? It is a..epted that the alle)ed .o44ents 0e(e inapp(op(iate to the in+esti)ation o/ you( .ase- and 4ay ha+e been 4is.onst(ued? 7est assu(ed that the 4atte( is bein) dealt 0ith inte(nally in the app(op(iate 4anne(? Dou(s sin.e(ely- 7J =ille( "anager. A4e(i.a- that 0ould be the pla.e /i( 4e? Any .unt )its 0ide thai(- they slap a /u.1in la0suit up thi( e(se- o( up thei( )odda4n ass- as they :he(4ans pit it? ,hat dae ye )et he(e /i( bein) abused by they o//i.ial .untsH A hal/Bhe(ted apolo)y 0hi.h 4a1es nae sense? Alle)ed .o44ents 4a /u.1in hole? E+en 0i 4a Edinbu()h :.hool Lea+e(s Ce(ti/i.ate ah 1en shite En)lish 0hen ah see it? Na0- the Dan1s 0id hu+ it a0 0o(1ed oot? It3s a0 aboot (i)hts thai(- nane ay that .lassBsyste4 shite li1e he(e? They3d pit /u.1in snobby auld ta(ts li1e that (i)ht in thi( pla.e? Too (i)ht hen@ sti.1 a /e0 /u.1in bools in yi( 4ooth n thin1 ye 1in )ie that d(y auld /anny ay you(s a 0ee /(i) unde( the table .ause ye see a boy 0i a s.he4e add(ess .o4in in? De thin1 ah4 )aunny play the sub2e.t in you( 0ee do4ination )a4eH
19*

Nein- 4ein s.h0este(- nein- .ause i.h bin ein =uni.he( soon? :o 2ist youse 1eep the auld .i+il ton)ue in yi( heid- .ause yi( up a)ainst an inte(national 4an ay the 0o(ld he(e? Italia 3$0- sha))in /i( :.otland? 6e the sa4e in =uni.h? Gua(anteed? One thin) ah 0is (i)ht aboot thou)hF the polis 0i(nae inte(ested? Ah34 su(p(ised they didnae )o (i)ht tae 6i((ell3s hoose- 0i his (ep /o( sta(tin /i(es? No no0 but- as eh said tae that boy in the 2e%s 0hen they e9posed the .unt3s a(son .on+i.tions- 3the only /i(es I sta(t these days a(e in the (in)?3 :ee the dole the day but@ 0ell- .(edit 0hai( it3s due? Ah3+e )oat tae /u.1in 0ell hand it tae the .unts- lessons ha+e been lea(nt? Fi(stly- it3s a tidy bi(d oan the .ounte( that .alls ays up intae he( booth and se.ond- she3s 4u.h .oole(- it3s the so/tlyBso/tly app(oa.h?

I This is the thi(d ti4e that3s happened to 4e- ah e9plain- t(yin tae 1eep a s4i(1 oa/ 4a /a.e? I The last pla.e ah sta(ted in only 0ent n .au)ht /i(e? The one be/o(e it hud tae shut 0i /lood da4a)e? Ah34 sta(tin) tae thin1 ah34 .u(sedG The /lood da4a)e one 0is /o( Italia 3$0 ba.1 in the su44e( thai(e? Aye- ah34 (eally )aunny sit in a piaEEa n 7o4e- su((ounded by /ine +ino and )(adeBA /anny 0hen ah .ould be 0o(1in in the blaEin hoat 1it.hen ay a (estau(ant at the be.1 n .all ay so4e (idB/a.ed /(ust(ated al1o a(tBs.hool (e2e.t .alled a .he/- and at the hei)ht ay su44e(- /o( t0enty pen.e a 0ee1? Aye- (i)ht? ,hy did ah no thin1 ay that yinH 6ut this 0ee yin he(e oan the des1 2ist s4iles ba.1 at ays? Aye- this lassie3s .ool a0(i)ht? As he( eyes )o tae the /o(4s ah34 )ittin a dee1 ay he( tits- but su(p(isin)ly she3s no that 0ellBsto.1ed in that depa(t4ent? It3s /unny- but she loo1s li1e she should hu+ a )ood bit ay tit oan he(? It3s the s4ile- n the 1ind ay .on/iden.e- that /u.1in +i+a.iousness? :till- it ta1es a0 so(ts- n ah 0idnae say no i/ it 0is pit in /(ont ay ays oan a plate- ah3ll tell yis that /i( no0t? Du+ )oat tae- it3s the spi.e ay li/e- that3s 0hat ah ey0is say? This lassie3s as s0eet as an une9pe.ted ta9 (ebate? ,e a)(ee thit ah3ll 2ist hu+ tae 1eep up the )ood /i)ht until they 1in send ays alon) tae dae so4ethin) suitable? I It 0is 0hin the 2ui.e lo((ies /inished- that3s 0hat snoo1e(ed 4e- ah e9plained tae he(? It did n a0@ e/ti( that ah .han)ed 4a line ay 0o(1? :pea1in ay 0hi.h- it3s ti4e tae see An.le Ale.- .ause thi(3s real 0o(1 tae dae? Ah3+e yet tae 4eet a .unt that )oat (i.h /illin bu()e(s?
199

%o6esti's
Ah .all Ale. 3An.le Ale.3 as a 2o1e- .ause ah )oat tae 1en the auld .unt yon1s a)o 0hen ah 0is sha))in ehs nie.e? :o ah step intae the ,este(n 6a( n eh3s thai(e- 0at.hin the )oB)o but no (eally 0at.hin eh( i/ ye 1en 0hit ah 4ean? Ah3+e ne+e( been intae the )oB)o3s 4asel@ ah li1e tae see bi(ds )ittin thi( 1it oa/ 0hin thi( 0antin sha))ed- no 2ist 0hin thi( 0antin tae dan.e? The 0hole thin) see4s a bit too (e4ote tae 4e? No enou)h /u.1in (o4an.e? 6ut that3s 2ist 4e? Eh3s standin at the ba( 0i ehs Daily +-!ress oot? That3s ho0 auldBs.hool that .unt is@ a (e4nant /ae the ti4e 0hen the +-!ress hud the best (a.in se.tion? Nae .unt buys it no0? Ehs eyes 4o+e /ae the (a.in /o(4- tae the )oB)o3s /o(4? I Ale.- ah )oes- pushin th(ou)h tae the auld /u.1e(? I Te((y ??? eh slu(s? The .unt3s hal/Bpished a)ain? I ,hat ye 0antinH Ah loo1 a(oond the .(a4ped ba(? Too 4any p(yin eyes a(oond he(e? De 1in 2ist see that pished auld .unt no0- shoutin in 4a ea(s aboot this 2oab eh3s so(ted oot- then the 4usi. stoaps n the 0hole ba( 1ens 0hat yi( up tae? Na0? It3s sta(tin tae 0o((y 4e thit ah34 the one that3s hu+in tae dae 4ai( n 4ai( ay the thin1in /i( the both ay us? And it3s a0 aboot basi.s n a0- that3s 0hat )its oan 4a ne(+es- it3s a0 aboot /u.1in basi.s- basi.s that .unt should be a0a(e ay? I Na0- lit3s ta1e a 0al1 doon tae 7y(ie3s? I A0(i)ht ??? eh )oes- /inishin ehs pint- and /ollayin 4e oot the doo(? :o 0i( paddin the hoo/ doon th(ou)h Toll.(oss and alon) =o((ison :t(eet- n ah34 pi.1in up pa.e .ause thi( see4s tae be a ni.e- ti)ht e(se ahead? Des ? ? ? /u.1in 0ee doll? :ho(t s1i(t- ba((y thi)hs? Ale.3s pu//in and hu//4 .ause eh .annae 1eep up 0i ays? I Hud oan- Te((y- 0hai(e3s the /u.1in /i(eH I Doon belo0- ah say- pattin 4a )(oin- n noddin ahead? Ale. ha.1s up so4e )(een n yellay phle)4 n .ou)hs it intae the )utte( 0ithoot b(e1in a st(ide? I De .an only )it a )ood idea ay the bu4 by .he.1in the thi)hs- ah34 t(yin tae e9plain tae the .unt as 0e3(e boun.in doon the st(eet behind this .ute e(se n lon) hai(? O/ .ou(se- it3s a 0aste ay ti4e t(yin tae e9plain this tae a 2a1ey 0hae husnae hud a (ide in yea(s- na0
(00

de.ades- n 0hae3d 0al1 o0e( a .(o0d ay na1ed supe(4odels tae )et tae a tin o/ Tennent3s :upe(- but the(e ye )o? The point ah 0is t(yin tae 4a1e- hud eh been (e.epti+e- 0is that so4e punte(s see an e(se oan a bi(d and )ophoah- ni.e e(se- but that3s 2ist a4ateu(s? The point is they only see the e(se? The p(o al0ays .he.1s the thi)hs ;and the 0aist< and ho% they relate tae the erse. That 0ey ye 1in )au)e the 0hole bi(d? Any .unt .an hu+ a ni.e e(se- t0o butto.1s- but ho0 does that /it 0i the (est ay itH ,ell- in this .ase /u.1in )ood? The thi)hs a(e shapely and /i(4- thi.1 enou)h tae su))est po0e( and tae display the e(se but no bi) enou)h tae do4inate it o( pit it in the shade? Good thi)hs should dis!lay an e(se- tae its best ad+anta)e? E+e(y t(ophy needs a de.ent plinth? :pi.e ay li/e? Ale.3s 4ind is else0he(e? I It3s a tidy )a//- eh e9plains b(eathlessly- (e/e((in tae the doss 0i( )aunny dae o0e( ne9t 0ee1- the bi) hoose up the G(an)e? I The se.u(ity3s pissBpoo( ? ? ? the boy3s a p(o/esso( at the Ani ? ? ? the .unt3s 0(itten a boo1 oan the ne0 se.u(ity state in 6(itain? :ays p(i+ateBse.u(ity /i(4s (un by )an)ste(s a(e

ta1in o0e( /ae la0 n o(de( ??? so the .unt doesnae hu+ any ala(4s o( /u.1 all ? ? ? .(yin oot tae be done ? ? ? hud oan- Te((yG C(yin oot tae be done- eh sais? No hal/- ah34 thin1in- but the bi(d tu(ns doon the side st(eet and heads up the hill? That 0is the To(ies3 bi))est a.hie+e4entF tae 4a1e hu+in p(in.iples .ost ye? P(i+ate health .a(e- .oon.ilB hoose sales- 4o(t)a)es- /lo))in the nationalised indust(ies- i/ ye dinnae 2oin in and to0 the line yi( a 4u)- e+en i/ a0 thi( daein is helpin the4 tae sti.1 thi( hand in yi( poa1it /i( the (est ay yi( pu//? 6it yi( that .hu//ed 0i yi( 0ee bit ay pape( n yi( 0ee pie.e ay plasti. ye .annae see it? Aye- p(in.iples .ost? ,ell- thi( )aunny .ost this .unt dea( enou)h soon- and his insu(an.e- i/ eh3s )oat any- that3s )ua(anteed? I ??? /ai4lay3s a0ay tae Tus.any /i( t0o 0ee1s so it3s all syste4s )o- eh )asps- as 0e st(oll intae 7y(ie3s and o(de( a pint /o( 4e and a hal/ n hal/ /o( hi4? Ale.3s /a.e is /lushed e+en 4ai( thin usual as eh nods tae ehs .(onies? Fi(st e9e(.ise the .unt3s p(obably hud in yea(s? I ,hai(e3s thatH I Italy- eh says- loo1in at 4e as i/ ah34 a (ad)e? I Thoat you 0i( no lon) ba.1 /ae thai(eG Eh nods as eh slides doon a 0ee )old yin? ,ell- thi( 0idnae be any ,o(ld Gup )a4es thai(e n besides- ah 0is ey0is shite at )eo)(aphy ba.1 at the s.hool? Ah 1en ho0 tae )it tae the
(01

G(an)e a0(i)ht- n ba.1 tae oo( lo.1Bup at :i)hthill n that does ays /ine- than1 you? Italy 0as ba((y but- the ,o(ld Gup? The standa(d ay /anny 0is supe(b- pa(ti.ula(ly the youn) bi(ds? They /ai( see4 tae pit oan the bee/ as soon as they3+e )oat the (in) oan thi( /in)e( but@ li1e that auld 6enny Hill s1et.h? ,hat3s a0 that abootH Ale.3s dented the hal/ n )oat anothe( (ound up- e+en i/ 4a pint3s ba(ely an in.h doon? Eh3s the best houseb(ea1e( in the business- o( eh used tae be? No0 it3s a st(u))le tae 1eep u4 st(ai)ht? De dinnae 0ant any .unt /u.1in up oan the 2oab? :o it3s no that ah dinnae t(ust the .unt- 2ust that ah /an.y headin up tae the G(an)e tae .he.1 it a0 oot tae 4a ain satis/a.tion? Ah .annae tell that auld /u.1e( this thou)h@ eh3d )it as nippy as /u.1? Ah34 still the youn) app(enti.e tae hi4- n ah ey0is 0ill be- but e/ti( anothe( pint ah 4a1e 4a e9.use and ta1e a /ast bla.1 up thai(e?

o6e on the -ran9e
It3s pissin doon up the G(an)e- n ah stand unde( a bi) el4 t(ee- one ay the .unts that su(+i+ed the pla)ue ay Dut.h El4 disease that hit he(e a /e0 yea(s a)o? That3s /u.1in Edinbu()h /i( ye- e+en the /u.1in t(ees3+e )oat thi( ain epide4i.? :u(p(ised the ,eed)ies didnae 4a1e 4ai( oot ay that? :till- ah34 )led ay this .unt3s .o+e( .ause it soon (ains oot tae a 4isty sho0e(? The ba.1st(eets he(e a(e 0ei(d- a0 )uest hooses? Ah dinnae li1e this@ too 4u.h toBin) and /(oBin)? Ou( st(eet3s 4ai( (esidential thou)h- but ah dinnae stoap too lon)? Casin this a(ea- ah 1in feel the .u(tains t0it.hin oan s.he4ie ale(t e+e(y ti4e ah step oa/ one ay the 4ain (oads? Aye- the )a// loo1s 5uite se.luded- but it3s .(aEy )aun too nea( it in this state ay pa(anoia? =ibbe head ba.1 up late( oan 0hen it3s da(1e(? Ah34 0al1in doon tae0a(ds the bus stoap 0hen ah sense this .a( pullin up alon)side ays? It3s the /u.1in polis? Gua(anteed? Fu.1? Ah hea( so4e .unt shout 4a na4e n announ.e the4sel+es as Labdi.1s n ah nea(ly 2u4p oot 4a s1in but ah stey .ool n tu(n slo0ly n and it3s /u.1in 6i((ell- in ehs 4oto(? :o ah )its in- )led ay the li/t- .ause it3s ste(ted tae pelt doon a)ain? 6i((ell3s hai(3s )ittin 5uite lon) /o( hi4(0(

it3s da4p n it3s ste(ted tae lie oan the s.alp? The 4oto( s4ells li1e a ta(t3s bed(oo4- a0 a/te(sha+es- 4ooses n )els? :po(ty .unts a(e the bi))est .loset poo/s unde( the sun? N ah dinnae (eally thin1 that bi(ds )o /i( that ta(tyness in a 4an? They p(e/e( the 4ai( natu(al boady s4ells- (eal bi(ds any0ey? Ah suppose the 1ind that 6i((ell3s intae- but@ these p(issy 0ee ano(e9i. ta(ts 0i e9pensi+e .lathes and soo( /a.es that 0id split in t0o i/ they hud a de.ent /u.1in len)th up thu4- they p(obably lap up that shite? :o 0e hu+ a blethe( aboot Italy n sta(t loo1in /o(0a(d tae =uni.h in O.tobe(- no that thi(3ll be anythin) /o( 4e tae loo1 /o(0a(d tae i/ this 2oab disnae .o4e oa/? ,hen 0i )its ba.1 doon oo( bit- 2ist at the shoaps- 0e3(e (eady tae pill intae the s.he4e 0hen ah .lo.1s Gail 0i the bai(n? Then ah loo1s up the (oad n thai(e3s /u.1in HeidBTheB6a0 n 0ee Gally- s5ua(in up tae ea.h othe(G Da .unt yeG ,ee Gally loo1s a0 .o.1y n HeidBTheB6a03s 0ell upset? I 6illy- stoap he(e- loo1- o0e( at the shoaps- ah tell u4? 6i((ell does a ba((y "iami 7ice,style halt n (e+e(se n 0e3(e st(ai)ht oot the .a(? 6illy shouts o0e( n Gally

tu(ns tae us? HeidBTheB6a03s st(ai)ht doon the /u.1in (oad as i/ ehs li/e depended oan it? It does n a0@ that .unt3s )ittin his? No that Gally o( anybody else 0id need any help 0i that 0an1e(?

The Wheatsheaf
Gally3s a bit sha1en- so ah ta1e the .unt up the ,heatshea/ 0hai(e ah hud hal/Ba((an)ed tae 4eet Ale.? 6i((ell3s Housed oot tae 1eep /it /i( ehs /i)ht? Ah )ie the .unt it ti)ht- but )ood lu.1 tae the boy? Eh3s )ood at it n a0- eh3s no a bad bo9e(? Ah dinnae thin1 eh3s as )ood as e+e(y .unt3s 4a1in oot 4ind- they a0 )it .ai((ied a0ay 0i this 3lo.al he(o3 shite? De .annae say that thou)h@ e+e(y .unt 2ust thin1s it3s 2ealousy? 6ut )ood lu.1 tae u4? Gally n Ale.- 0hat a pai(? Gally sta(ts oan aboot the 0ee lassie- then Gail- then HeidBTheB6a0- the Pol4ont .unt- n Ale.3s )(eetin intae ehs bee( aboot ehs 0i/e that died n that /i(e- n ho0 ehs son disnae tal1 tae u4? :adbut it 0is yon1s a)o no0- n eh 0ants tae t(y n s.(e0 the nut a bit? Thi(3s no 4u.h ah 1in say tae eithe( ay thu4? :o4e
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/u.1in d(in1 this hus tu(ned oot tae be? I C34oan boys- 0i( hu+in a 0ee be++y he(eG They both loo1 at 4e li1e ah3+e su))ested a spot ay /u.1in .hild 4olestin? ,e end up at Ale.3s 0i a .ai((yBoot but the ni)ht .ontinues in the sa4e dep(essin 0ey /o( a bit@ Gally n Ale. )iein it a0 that 30e3+e /u.1ed up e+e(ythin)3 shite? It (eally did /u.1 pe(( Gally3s heid 0hen Gail told hi4 she 0as sha))in) Pol4ont? That she 0as lea+in) hi4/o( )olmont, o/ all people? Anybody else in the /u.1in 0o(ld? They /ou)ht- n Gail 0as the sa4e siEe as Gally- n ah dunno 0hae ah3d3+e pit 4a 4oney oan the(e? Ah 4ind us tal1in aboot it e/ti(? E0a(t sais that Gally 0is 0(on) to hit Gail- no 4atte( 0hat? 6illy said no0t? :o ah as1s Ca(l i/ Gail 0as (i)ht to hit Gally? Then it 0is his tu(n tae say no0t? And no0 Gally3s (e.ountin it all- 0hat happened that ni)ht- a0 /i( the bene/it ay Ale.- 0hae3s loast in ehs ain 4ise(y? I Ah shouted at he(then she did ba.1 at 4e? ,e batte(ed ea.h othe(? :he st(u.1 the /i(st blo0? Ah loast it- ah hud he( by the hai(? Then Ja.5ueline had (an th(ou)h /(o4 the bed(oo4 to stop he( 4u44y and daddy hu(tin) ea.h othe(? Gally .ou)hed- loo1ed at Ale.? I Gail hud he( hands (oond 4a th(oat? Ah lit )o ah he( hai(- and 4ade a /istd(a0in) ba.1 4a a(4 tae pun.h he(? =a elba0 hit Ja.5ueline in the /a.e- b(o1e he( .hee1bone li1e it 0as the /(a4e ay so4e ? ? ? s4all 4a44al? Ah didnae 1en she3d .o4e intae the (oo4? Ah .ouldnae loo1 at eh( s4ashed- batte(ed 0ee /a.e? Gail .alled the a4bulan.e- the .ops and ah 0as ba.1 in the 2ail? I This is /u.1in .hee(/ul- ah say? I Ah34 so((y ? ? ? so((y tae be a d(a)? Fu.1 Gail n that .unt- eh )oes? E/ti( a lon) pause 0he(e 0i( a0 sittin li1e spa(e p(i.1s- eh )ets anothe( set ay bee(s /ae the /(id)e? Ah )o tae pit oan so4e 4usi.? Ale.3s )oat an e9tensi+e (e.o(d .olle.tion a0(i)ht- the t(ouble is- it3s a Daily /ecord .olle.tionF auld issues lyin a(oond e+e(y0hai(e? Ah /ind a Dean =a(tin tape 0hi.h is aboot the only thin) listenable? E+entually the be++y 1i.1s in and they /eel thi( so((o0s /lushin a0ay? De ne+e( d(o0n the so((o0s thou)h- ye 2ist sub4e()e the .unts till the ne9t day? E+entually Ale. .(ashes? This )a// ay his is li1e the land that ti4e /o()oat? The :unhoose /i(e 0i the 0ee t0i(ly bits in the +enee(ed tea1 su((ounds has seen bette( days? That .ai(pit3s so 0o(n and i4p(e)nated 0i yea(s ay shite ye .ould s1ate a.(oass it li1e it 0is =u((ay/ield I.e 7in1? Thi(3s a bi) .(a.1ed 4i((o( oan the 0a0- in one ay they /an.y i4itation )old /(a4es? The 4aist dep(essin si)ht is the .(u4pled
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photaes ay /ai4lay in the /(a4es oan the 4antelpie.e n telly? They loo1 li1e thu+ been handB.(ushed in an al.oholi. /it- then lo+in)ly (esto(ed the ne9t day in sobe( sel/Bloathin? Auld .lathes a(e piled o0e( the ba.1 ay the .ou.h 0hi.h is .o+e(ed in /a) bu(ns and bu(st sp(in)s hin) oot /ae the unde(side ay it? The ai( s4ells ay /a)s- stale bee( and auld /(ied )(ub? Apa(t /o( oo( .ans- n a 4ouldy pie.e ay .heese- the /(id)e is e4pty and the (ubbish spills /ae an o+e(/lo0in bin oantae the lino? Fu.1 Gles)ay 0i its Eu(opean City ay Cultu(e shite- thi(3s a loat 4ai( .ultu(e oan Ale.3s plates- a0 piled intae the sin1- .o+e(ed in )(een 4ould and bla.1 sli4e? Eh3s been oan so4e bende( (i)ht enou)h? The ne9t day Gally3s a0ay and ah 0a1e up 0i a thi.1 heid? Eh 4i)ht 2ist be doon the shoaps /i( /a)s? Any0ey- ah34 no sti.1in a(oond tae see they .unts )ittin intae that o()y ay sel/Bhate? It3s ti4e tae )it oot be/o(e ah34 d(a))ed oan anothe( 4audlin session 0i Ale.? Ah34 oan the bus and Chesse(3s passin by? Ah3+e )oat so4e /u.1in (oot oan- and ah3+e no e+en seen any /anny? Ah sta(t tae /eel a bit >o(ba the G(ee1- buses dae that tae ays so4eti4es? :o ah de.ide tae sp(in) oa/ n 0al1 ba.1 a.(oss the pa(1 tae )it so4e ai(? :ni//in 4a ai(4pits ay de.ide that the /(esh s0eats u( o1ay? Thi(3s a /e0 )a4es )aun oan@ a tea4 in blue a(e tea(in up anothe( in )old and bla.1? They loo1 aboot ten yea(s youn)e( and /i+e ti4es /itte( than the )oldBandBbla.1 boys? Ah 4o+e o0e(- passin th(ou)h the s0in) pa(1- n ah stoap be.ause so4ebody loo1s /a4ilia(?

:he3s )oat the bai(n oan the (oundabout- and she3s 1eepin an eye oan he(- but she3s deep in thou)ht? Ah slips up alon)side he(- /eelin this sti((in ah ni+i(B/ail tae )it 0hen ah34 .lose tae he(? I Aye- aye- ah )oes? :he tu(ns and loo1s at ays slo0ly- he( eyes ti(ed- no hostile- no app(o+in)? I Te((y- she says 0ea(ily? I :o4e pe(/o(4an.e yeste(day- eh? :he 0(aps he( ai(4s (oond he(sel/ and loo1s at ays n sais- I Ah dinnae 0ant tae tal1 aboot hi4 ??? o( the othe( yin- nane ay the4? I :uits 4e- ah s4ile- ta1in a step .lose(? The 0ee yin3s still playin oan the (oundabout? :he doesnae say no0t? Ah34 thin1in aboot ho0 she loo1ed the day? It3s been a 0hile- a )ood /ou( o( /i+e yea(s? ,hen Gally 0ent inside a)ain- then e/ti( ah did that 0ee bit ay ti4e? He( n 4e ??? 0e 0e(e ey0is a di(ty pai( ay .unts the)ithe(? Thi(3s ey0is been so4ethin) ??? ah 2ist /eel the slo0 ti.1le n
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4y .o.1 and 0o(ds .o4in oot ay 4a 4ooth? I ,hat ye daein the ni)ht thenH Douse oot paintin the toon (idH :he loo1s at ays in a 0ey that says- aye- he(e 0e )o a)ain- playin ou( da/t )a4e? I Nup? He3s a0ay up tae :ullu4 8oe /o( a /o(tni)ht? I :till- it3s a0 4oney thou)h- eh- ah sh(u)- 0i anythin) but 4oney oan 4a 4ind? ,e both 1en this bullshit ba.10a(ds? :he 2ust s4iles in 5uite a sad 0ey- lettin 4e 1en that it3s no a0 hun1yBdo(y 0i the4- and )iein 4e the (oo4 tae 4a1e 4a 4o+e? I ,ell- i/ ye 1in )it (id ay the bai(n- ah 0idnae 4ind ta1in ye oot the ni)ht- ah tell he(? That )its he( dande( up a bit and she sta(ts loo1in ays up n doon? I Ah3ll be a pe(/e.t )entle4an- ah tell he(? :o ah )its this hu4ou(less s4ile ba.1 o//ay he( that .ould .(a.1 a /u.1in plate- I Ah34 no .o4in then- she says- n she3s no /u.1in 2o1in n a0? That puts 4e (i)ht oan the spot a0(i)ht? ,hy the /u.1 a4 ah )ittin ba.1 intae thisH It3s a0 )aun sae 0ell 0i 4e n 8i+? It3s that postBhan)o+e( (oot? Too 4u.h blood that should be in the heid )aun tae the .o.1- 4a1in ye a0 da/t- 4a1in ye say thin)s ye shouldnae /u.1in 0ell say? 6ut 0hat dae ye say- 0hat dae ye daeH ,hen .on/used- ye al0ays (e+e(t tae type? I/ in doubt /latte(? I ,ell- ah3ll t(y 4a best tae 1eep tae they )ood intentions- but ah34 su(e ah3ll be po0e(less tae (esist you( .ha(4s? They3+e ni+i( /ailed ays yit? That suits he(- ye 1in tell by the dilation ay the pupils n the t0isted s4ile a.(oss he( 4ooth? They lips? :he ey0is 0is a /i(stB.lass )a4@ .ould soo1 tad)e( /o( :.otland? Could soo1 it /o( 6(aEil- ni+i( 4ind /u.1in :.otland? I Co4e doon at ei)ht- she says- )aun a0 that .oy 0ay- li1e a 0ee lassie- 0hi.h is /u.1in (idi. i/ ye 1en the histo(y? Histo(y3s the last thin) oan 4a 4ind no0 but? I Ei)ht it is? :o that3s 4e 0i a hot date? Ah /eel li1e a (i)ht bad basta(d- but ah 1en that ah3ll be thai(e? Ah head o//- lea+in he( 0i the bai(n- 0hae3s still playin a0ay? Don3t thin1 0ee Ja.5ueline e+en sa0 ays? As ah )o ah loo1 ba.1 at a0 the othe( youn) 4as thai(e- 0onde(in i/ they a0 )o li1e he(? =ibbe so4e ay thai4 u+ )oat 4en a0ay 0o(1in- bliss/ully una0a(e that so4e 0ideo3s .leanin thi( 4issus3s pipe 0hile the da/t .unt3s pittin in the )(a/t tae b(in) ha4e the b(eed? A /e0 ay they bi(ds thai(e3ll be in the sa4e boat- that3s /i( .e(tain? :ittin in pa(1s n
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hooses n shoaps 0i a .ouple ay bai(ns a0 day .annae be 0hat e+e(y bi(d3s intae? Fu.1 0aitin oan so4e e9hausted- .lappedBoot .unt .o4in ha4e- 0hae p(obably disnae e+en /an.y ye any4ai( n 0hae3s 2ist t(yin tae /i(e intae so4e othe( pie.e a0 day at ehs 0o(1? Thi(3s so4e 0o4en he(e that a(e a)es 0i lassies that a(e dan.in a0 ni)ht in /ields and 0a(ehooses- t(a+ellin up and doon the .ount(y- hu+in the ti4e ay thi( li+es? These pe(( .o0s 4ust 0ant so4e ay thatF so4e )oodB loo1in s1inny youn) .unt- 0i a bi) .o.1 n nae 0o((ies 0hae 1in /u.1 a0 ni)ht- tellin the4 that they3(e the 4aist beauti/ul thin) they3+e e+e( seen- and 4eanin it n a0? Aye- 0i a0 0ant tae hu+ oo( .a1e n eat it@ 0e a0 0ant the 4oney- the /un- the /u.1in loat? And 0hy the /u.1 noH It3s the spi.e ay li/e? Ho0 they e9pe.t /anny tae be di//e(ent /ae .o.1 in this day n a)e is beyond 4e? Ah pass th(ou)h the pa(1 )ates- n the 4ain (oad st(et.hes ahead? The s.he4e3s st(u))lin- 0ell this side ay it is? The othe( side ay the (oad 0i the aulde( hooses that us in the /lats on.e thou)ht 0i( slu4s- 0ell it3s th(i+in o0e( thai( a0(i)ht? They3+e )oat it a0- ne0 0indaes n doo(s n neat- tidy )ai(dins? O0e( he(e in the 4aisonettes that nae .unt 0ants tae buy- e+e(ythin)3s 2ist /a0in tae bits? Ah de.ide that ah .annae /a.e )aun ha4e? The auld lady3s been as nippy as /u.1 sin.e ah 4o+ed ba.1 in and 8i+ian 0illnae be ha4e /ae he( 0o(1 yet? =a )uts u( settlin but the heid3s a 0ee bit nippy? Ah opt /o( an

+(ening "e%s and a bee( in The 6usy? It3s no li+in up tae its na4e but- e4pty apa(t /ae Ca(l n Topsy oan the pool- :o/t Johnny oan the /(uit 4a.hine and this .unt .alled Tidy ,ilson- a /i/tyB/i+eByea(Bauld P(in)leB 2e(sey3d .unt at the ba(? Ah pass the nods (oond n ta1e up 4a stan.e? It3s /unny seein ou( =( E0a(t doon the s.he4e- eh doesnae .o4e he(e that o/ten no0- no 0i his /lat in toon n 0i his 4a n dad hu+in 4o+ed a0ay tae so4e0hai(e snobby? Ca(l3s o0e( n slaps ays oan the ba.1? Eh3s )oat a bi) s4ile oan ehs /a.e? Cunt 1in be a bit /ill ay ehsel so4eti4es- espe.ially no0 that eh3s daein this Fluid .lub- but ah lap the /u.1e( up (eally? I A0(i)ht =( La0son- eh )oes? I No bad- ah sha1e ehs hand- then )(ip Topsy3s? I =( Tu(+ey- ah )oes? I TeE- Topsy 0in1s? Eh3s a boun.y- s1inny- /id)ety da/t laddie- ey0is see4s a bit youn) /i( ehs a)e but eh3s as )a4e as /u.1? ,as a top Hea(ts boy /o( a bit until thi( auld 4ob e+apo(ated 0hen the Hibs .ashies too1 o+e( the toon? Topsy too1 a sai( one o//ay that Le9o- eh
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0is ni+i( the sa4e e/ti(? Al0ays li1ed the .unt but- oldBs.hool so(t ay boy? 6it ay a NaEi 4ind you- that3s ho0 eh )oat ou( =( E0a(t intae that t(ouble? 6ut Ca(l thin1s the sun shines oot ay Topsy3s e(se thou)h- al0ays been as ti)ht as /u.1 they t0o? A /unny pai(in but- =( E0a(t and =( Tu(+ey? I :o 0hat b(in)s you slu44in it doon he(e then- Ca(lH ah )oes? I Che.1in up oan you- ya .unt- 4a1in su(e thit yi( still oan /i( the =uni.h 6ee( Festi+al? I Ah3ll be thai(e- dinnae 0o((y about that? 6i((ell3s oan the /i(4 n a0? The .unt tae bothe( aboot is Gally? I AyeH Ca(l )oes- a0 .on.e(ned? :o ah tell the4 the sto(y ay 0hat happened the othe( day? Aboot ho0 0ei(d Gally3s been lately? I 7e.1on eh3s ba.1 oan the )ea(H Ca(l3s as1in? Eh 0o((ies aboot 0ee Gally? It3s da/t- but ah do n a0? Eh3s one ay the )a4est 0ee .unts that ye .ould hope tae 4eet- but thi(3s ey0is been so4ethin) +ulne(able aboot hi4? The li1es ay E0a(t- 6i((ell n Topsy- ye 1en they3ll ey0is be a0(i)ht- but so4eti4es ye 0o((y aboot Gally? I 6ette( /u.1in no be? Ah34 no )aun oan /u.1in hoaliday 0i a /u.1in 2un1ie? Fu.1 that? Topsy loo1s at Ca(l- then at 4e? I :e(+es u4 (i)ht in a 0ey- that /u.1in Gail??? a hin)oot- eh )oes? I Ah 4ean- ah /u.1in (ode he( silly ba.1 in the day- e+e(y .unt did- but ye dinnae 4ai((ay so4e .o0 li1e that? I Fu.1 o//- ya .unt- Ca(l says? I ,hat3s 0(on) 0i a bi(d that li1es a bit ay .o.1H It3s the /u.1in nineties? I Aye- Topsy )oes- I /ai( enou)h- but 0hin ye )it 4ai((ied- ye 0ant tae 1en that she3s .han)ed he( 0eys? N she didnae- eh said- )iein 4e a 0ee )lan.e? Ah34 1eepin shtoo4? Topsy3s oan a 0indBup- but the .unt does hu+ a point? Gail is 2ist (idin 4ate(ial- but ah suppose ba.1 then that 0is a0 Gally 0anted 0hen eh .a4e oot ay the D?O?3s ni.1 0i that .he((y still tae be popped? It3s easie( tae .(iti.ise the =a(s 6a( suppe( /ae Ha4pstead than /ae Ethiopia? Funny- it 0is 4e that int(odu.ed thu4 n a0? Goat thu4 the)ithe(- 0hen Gally .a4e oot the ni.1? Ah thoat ah 0is bein Cupid at the ti4e- 0ell- /i9in Gally up 0i a (ide any0ey? :o4eti4es ye .annae help it i/ yi( best 4ate3s a 4u)?
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The +ersisten'e of &ha99in9 +roble6s
Guilt and sha))in- they )o the)ithe( li1e /ish n .hips? Guilt and )ood sha))in? In :.otland ye )oat Catholi. )uilt and Gal+inist )uilt? =aybe that3s 0hy E.stasy (eally too1 oa/ he(e? Ah tal1ed tae Ca(l aboot this in the pub and the .unt 0ent oan aboot illi.it pleasu(e ey0is bein the best? N it3s t(ue? Fo( 4e the p(oble43s ey0is been loyalty? Lo+e n se9 ha+e ni+i( been the sa4e thin)s 0i ays and 4aist boys3 tell ye that- but .hoose tae li+e a lie? Then it a0 .o4es oot n the bi) p(oble4s sta(t? As they say- denial isnae 2ist a /u.1in (i+e( in E)ypt? 8i++y3s a (i)ht 0ee .(a.1e(- and ah a4 in lo+e 0i he(? =uh =a hates he(- bla4es he( /o( 4e n Lu.y splittin up? That isnae (eally /ai( at a0? :he3s 2ist nippy .ause ay the C(aut /u.1in oa/? Good (iddan.e tae bad (ubbish? Aye- ah lo+e 8i+ian- but 0hat ah /ind is 0hen ah3+e been 0i a bi(d /o( aboot si9 4onths- ah sta(t tae 0ant tae (ide othe( lassies a)ain? Ah .annae help the 0ey ah34 /u.1in 4ade? :o4eti4es but- 0hin ah see he( lyin) by 4a side e/ti( 0e3+e 4ade lo+e- doEin a0ay so/tly- ah .ould nea(ly s.(ea4 tae be 4ade di//e(ent? 6ut that3s ni+i( )aunny happen? ,hen ah )its ba.1 tae 4ine 4uh =a3s ben the hoose n she3s )oat the tea oan? I A0(i)ht- ah )oes? Nae (esponse? 6ut she3s 4a1in a (a.1et in the 1it.hen- .upboa(d doo(s sla44in- pots n pans (attlin- buildin up tae so4ethin? It3s in the ai(- as that spa4y )ad)e says- ah 1in /eel it .o4in in thee ai( toBniBhite ??? oh yeah ? ? ? And it3s /u.1in salad- n it3s e+en boiled tatties instead ay .hips? I/ thi(3s one thin) ah hate it3s /u.1in salad? N she3s e+en pit beet(oot oan it- stainin e+e(ythin)G Ah3d 2ist hud a /e0 0ets 0i Ca(l- Topsy n :o/t Johnny? The auld )i(l 1in s4ell it oan ays? Dayti4e d(in1in (eally annoys he(? The 0ey ah see it but- ye hu+ tae ta1e yi( pleasu(es 0hai(e ye /ind the .unts?

I ,hat3s up 0i you( /a.eH she as1s ays? I A ni.e healthy saladG De should be eatin 4ai( )(eens? It3s no )ood /i( ye 2ist li+in o//ay /ish suppe(sG Fish suppe(s n .hin1iesG That3s nae )ood tae 4an no( beast? That )its 4e thin1in ho0 ah .ould /u.1in 0ell handle so4e le4on .hi.1en and e))B/(ied (i.e (i)ht no0? Instead ay this shite? The le4on .hi.1en doon the .hin1y3s ey0is ba((y? I Ah dinnae li1e salad? It3s /u.1in (abbit /ood? I Dou sta(t b(in)in in a p(ope( 0a)e then ye 1in pi.1 n .hoose 0hat ye eat?
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:he3s )oat a /u.1in ne(+e? Ah t(y tae 0ei)h he( in e+e(y ti4e ah34 /lush? I That3s 0ell out o/ o(de(? Ah o//e(ed ye 4oney last 0ee1- t0o hund(ed 5uid ah o//e(ed- n ye 0idnae /u.1in ta1e itG I Aye- .ause ah 1en 0hai(e it3s .o4e /aeG Ah 1en 0hai(e a0 you( 4oney .o4es /aeG she nips- as ah sit doon n eat this shite in silen.e- .(a44in it bet0een t0o sli.es ay b(eed? Then she )oes I Ah sa0 Lu.y 0i the 0ee /elly the day? Ap ,este( Hailes .ent(e? ,i 0ent /i( a .o//ee? Ho0 /u.1in .osy? I AyeH I Aye? :he telt ays you3+e no been tae see hi4 /i( a 0hile? I ,hae3s /ault3s thatH E+e(y ti4e ah do )o (oond thai(e ah )it the .auld shoulde( t(eat4ent /i he( n that bi) )a01y t0at? :he )oes a0 5uiet /o( a bit- then she says in a lo0 +oi.e- I N that othe( yin phoned? That 8i+ian? Ah .all 8i++y ba.1- tellin he( that ah /o()ot that ah3d a((an)ed tae play in a snoo1e( tou(ney- n thit 0i3ll hoo1 up the 4o(n? N 0hat that 4eans is that /i( the /i(st ti4e sin.e 0e3+e been oot the)ithe(- the /i(st ti4e sin.e the ,o(ld Cup in Italy- ah34 playin a0ay /ae ha4e?

$reedo6 of Choi'e
This ni.otine p(oble43s )ittin se(ious- the yellay stain oan 4a /in)e( is 0ell set oa/ by the 0hite ay the bell buEEe(? Ah po1e the 0ee button oan he( doo( n it 4a1es a (i)ht (a.1et? Ah /ai( )it a sho.1 0hen ah see he(? In the th(ee ooi(s sin.e 0e 4et she3s )one blonde? Ah34 no that su(e i/ it suits he(- but the no+elty ay it sets up the ho(n in ays? Fi( the /i(st ti4e ah (ealise that she3s )oat a (eally )ood tan n a0? They 0ent tae Flo(ida@ he(- the bai(n n HeidBTheB6a0? I Hiya- she )oes- .he.1in the hooses oan eithe( side /i( p(yin eyes? I =oan in? I 6ai(n at yi( =a3sH ah as1- steppin in? I =a siste(3s? Ah )(in n 0a) 4a /in)e(? I I/ ah didnae 1en you bette( ah 0id thin1 thit you hud planned tae sedu.e 4e? I ,hate+e( )a+e ye that idea- she says? I The ne0 i4a)e- ah li1e it??? ah sta(t- but she3s undaein the belt /ae he( 2eans and pillin the4 doon and 1i.1in the4 oa/? :he3s pullin he( toap oa/ n a0?
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Ah /eel li1e tellin he( tae .ool he( 2ets- .ause ah 0anted tae sa+ou( the buildBup a bit? It 4i)ht be the spi.e ay li/e- but spi.es hu+ tae be sa+ou(ed oan the palate- no 2ust 0ol/ed (i)ht doon? :he3s ob+iously 0antin that lu4 s0ept (eally badly but- so /u.1 it- she 1in .all the shots? Ah sta(ts )ittin 4a )ea( oa/ n a0- su.1in in that auld bee( )ut? It3s been so4e ti4e sin.e ah )ied he( the 4essa)e- n the )ut3s )ittin a bit /labby? I Dou )oat a .ondo4H she )oes? I Na0 ??? ah said? Ah 0is aboot tae say- ye ni+i( used tae be that /ussy- but thin)s3+e .han)ed a lot sin.e 0i used tae /u.1 (e)ula(ly? ,hat dae ye say n 0hat dae ye daeH Ah suppose the /a.t that Gally 0is intae )ea( n a0 that- it 4ust 4a1e he( thin1 aboot thin)s li1e that? :he heads th(ou)h tae the 1it.hen? Thi(3s a .ouple ay ba)s ay :a/e0ays shoapin oan the 0o(1tops? Inside one ay the4 thi(3s a pa.1et ay .ondo4s? :he )ies ays one n ah sti.1s it oan? :he tu(ns- (estin he( elba0s oan the 0o(1 toap and p(esentin) he( e(se 0hi.h has a distin.t bi1ini tan line- /ae that Flo(ida hoaliday? Goat tae )ie eh( he( due- she 1ens ho0 tae spend HeidBTheB6a03s dosh a0(i)ht? :he )(abs one ay he( butto.1s? I De al0ays li1ed 4a e(se? No thin1 it3s sta(tin tae )it a bit /labbyH De 1in tell that she3s been tannin it in the ae(obi.s o( step .lasses- .ause it /eels 4ai( /i(4 tae 4e thin e+e(? I :ee4s a0(i)ht- ah say- I bit it needs anothe( 0ee test- ah tell he(- )ittin doon oan 4a 1nees and littin 4a ton)ue /east oan baith he( holes? Fu.1 salad- ah3+e ey0is been a 4eat 4an? Disnae ta1e he( lon) tae sho0 he( app(e.iation? Ah li1e a bi(d li1e that- lits ye 1en the state ay play? Ah tend tae be 5uite +o.al 0i se9 n a0? Ah .annae stand 0at.hin /itba in a pub 0i the sound tu(ned doon? E/ti( a bit- she )oes- I Gie3s it no0- Te((y? Gie3s it? No0G I De 0ant itH I Aye- no0- she says? I C34oan Te((y- ah34 no in the 4ood /i( /anny teasin ? ? ? 2ist /u.1in )ie3s itG I ,hi.h holeH I 6aith ? ? ? she )oes ? ? ?

Ah3+e only )oat one /u.1in .o.1 he(e 4issus- that3s the /u.1in p(oble4? I Ah 1en that- but 0hi.h /i(stH I Dou .hoose ? ? ? she says? Fine? Let3s see i/ ah 1in su(p(ise he( and 4asel by sti.1in it up he( /anny? Na0? Ah34 pa.1in intae he( e(se as she .u(ses loudly- I Fu.1 ? ? ? :he3s
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1ept this bla.1 band in he( hai(- it e4phasises the boatil blonde? The(e3s a t0istin) dopeyness a.(oss he( /a.e n ah34 pullin) on he( hai( and pushin) at he( /a.e- 0onde(in) i/ this is lo+e o( se9 o( hate o( 0hat? It3s /unnybut it3s 4e that3s 4a1in a0 the noise@ poisonous- t0isted- )a(ba)e spillin oot ay 4a 4ooth in a lo0 p(i4al )(o0l- then )ittin intae a0 (o4anti.- dis.onne.ted nonsense? This thin) is so /u.1ed up that it needs a .o44enta(y? Ah34 t0ea1in oan he( /anny 0i 4a othe( hand- (ubbin) he( .lit and ah /eel he( .o4e and ah 0ant tae pull oot he( e(se and sti.1 it in the /i(st hole- but ye .annae dae that 0ithoot a 0ash /i(st- so I34 shootin ha(d into he( bu4 and pushin) he( /a.e a)ainst the .upboa(d and he( eyes 0ith the bi) .i(.les unde( the4 a(e poppin) and it loo1s li1e lo+e is )aunny outG :he see4s tae be hu+in they 0ee .on+ulsions as ah pill oot ah he( n she lets )o a thunde(ous /a(t 0hi.h b(in)s ays ba.1 tae a0 the ani4al nastiness ay 0hat 0e a(e and 0hat 0e3+e been daein n ah .annae loo1 at 4a .o.1? De )oat tae .he.1 an e(seBsha))in pa(tne(3s dieta(y habits? Ah )o st(ai)ht oot and up the stai(s intae the sho0e( tae 0ash a0ay the s4ells? Hete(ose9ual e(se sha))inF the ne0 lo+e thit disnae spea1 its na4e? That3s until a doEen pints in the pub- then a0 the shite .o4es oot- and that3s 0hit 4aist ay it is? Ah 1in tell a boy thit3s ne+e( (ode a bi(d up the e(se- the sa4e 0ey ah .ould tell one that hudnae (ode one up the /anny a0 they yea(s ba.1? :tep /o(0a(d- =( Gallo0ayG :tep /o(0a(d- =( E0a(tG :tep /o(0a(d- =( CleanBGutB:po(tyBCunt 6i((ell? Dinnae 1en aboot Tu(+ey- but he3s p(obably (ode laddies up the e(se? 6ein baith a Ja4bo and a NaEi- eh .annae /ail but tae be a poo/? Ah )it ba.1 doonstai(s- n 0ait /o( he( tae )it 0ashed n .han)ed? Ah )ie the d(u4 a 5ui.1 spin- and it3s as e9pe.ted- a st(ai)ht .oupleBnBbai(n doss- neat and tidy- but no0t ay (eal +alue? No thit ah3d3+e (ipped he( o//it3s 2ist that Pol4ont =.=u((ay 4i)ht ha+e so4e stu// a(oond he(e? Thi(3s nae si)n ay that thou)h? Ah )it the +ibe that he3s )oin)- o( has al(eady )one- the 0ey ay pe(( 0ee Gally? I No bad doss- ah tell he(- loo1in) a(oond the 0ellB/u(nished li+in) (oo4? These Chesse( )a//s a(e sou)htB e/ti( tenan.ies? :he blo0s oot so4e s4o1e? I Fu.1in hate it he(e? Ah 0ent up tae the .oon.il tae see =a))ie? Telt he( ah 0anted one ay they ne0 pla.es thi( buildin o0e( the ba.1 thai(? The /u.1in snooty .o0 )oes n says- ah .annae dae anythin) /i( ye Gail- yi( no a p(io(ity .ase? Ah )oes- so4e pal you eh? No thit ah see he( no0? That .o0 ne+e( e+en /u.1in 0ell in+ited ays tae he( 0eddin?
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Ah- 0ee =a))ie? A .oun.illo( no0- oan the Housin) Co44ittee as 0ell? I They .annae sho0 /a+ou(itis4ah sh(u)? I =ind you- she sho0ed 4e enou)h in he( ti4e? I Aye- ah 1en the 1ind she sho0ed you- Gail lau)hs? I Thin1s she3s the bee3sB1nees no0 but? :he did a0(i)ht /o( he(sel/- did 0ee =a))ie? I De 1no0- she ne+e( e+en in+ited he( An.le Ale. tae the 0eddin@ 4ind you- eh 0is in 2ail /o( houseb(e1in at the ti4e? Lu.1y /i( he(- that posh boy she 4ai((ied 0ould ha+e shat it? ,idnae hu+ loo1ed )ood in the photaes? Ah34 thin1in aboot ho0 thin)s )et handed doon in /a4ilies? Ah 4ind ay =a))ie sayin in an inte(+ie0 in the +(ening 2e%s that she hud a 3passionate inte(est in housin) a//ai(s3? Gua(anteed she )oat that o//ay Ale.G Jist /u.1in 0ell .hannelled it in a di//e(ent 0eyG Gail loo1s )ood in that d(ess- so ah )ie he( anothe( seein tae oan the .ou.h? :he /ai( )oes oa/@ ah thin1 the aulde( ah )it- the bette( ah )it? De 1in tell that Pol4ont .unt .ouldnae hu+ been up tae 4u.h- .ause it ta1es he( nae ti4e at a0 tae )it oa/? ,e de.ide tae )it a .ab doon tae this hotel in Pol0a(th /i( a d(in1? :he )(abs a hud ay 4a (idB(a0 ba0s in the ba.1 ay the 4oto(? I Dou a(e one di(ty /u.1in sla)- son- she tells 4e? It3s 0ei(d but ah34 thin1in aboot Gally no0- then aboot 8i+- aboot ho0 they t0o a(e p(obably the people ah .a(e aboot 4aist in the 0o(ld- and aboot ho0 /u.1in dest(oyed they3d baith be i/ they 1ent 0hat ah 0is up tae the no0? The 0ay ah /eel that /u.1in 1nob in 4a t(oose(s sta(tin tae )it a0 ha(d- n ah 1en that ah34 0ea1 and stupid- n thit 0hate+e( ah 1id oan tae 4asel- it3s ey0is been lassies that3+e .alled the shots 0i 4e? They 1en they 2ist hu+ tae loo1 at ays n ah3ll .o4e (unnin? Li1e he(? I The (est ay the4 ? ? ? they so(t ays oot 0i 4oney- but you /u.1 ays best? Ho0 .ould you no be a 4illionai(e- Te((yH she lau)hs? I ,hae telt ye ah 0isnae- ah say- 1eepin it li)ht? Ah dinnae 0ant tae hea( aboot he( sla))in Gally- o( e+en /u.1in HeidBTheB6a0 =.=u((ay- .o4e tae that? A0 ah e+e( 0ant he( tae dae is tae sha) 4e? E/ti( it ah 0ant he( tae disappea(- .ause be/o(e the (ide 0i he( is ba((y- the buildBup n that- but e/ti( it- it3s no0t li1e it is 0i 0ee 8i++y? Thi(3s no0t othe( than lust he(e? :till- it3s the spi.e ay li/e- ah3+e ey0is belie+ed that? I/ it 0is up tae 4e-

sha))in n lo+e 0id be t0o di//e(ent thin)s? Thi( should be nae e4otional .o4pli.ations 0i 2ist sha))in? Too 4any (ep(essed .unts in po0e(@ .hu(.hes- publi. s.hool n a0 thatF
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that3s the /u.1in p(oble4 0i this .ount(y? ,hen ye )it .loset poo/s settin the se9ual a)enda /o( e+e(y othe( .unt- 0ell ho0 1in ye 0onde( 0hin e+e(y /u.1e( )its a0 sti// aboot in+adin this pie.e ay (o.1 in the :outh Atlanti.H In this .(appy loun)e ba( /ill ay subu(ban t0ats- she3s )ittin pissed 5ui.1- she .annae (eally ta1e a be++y? :he3s spillin) oot the poison- sayin) that all 4en a(e .unts- only )ood /o( /u.1in) and b(in)in) in a 0a)e? I That3s one thin) aboot you- Te((y- the(e3s nae bullshit aboot you? Ah bet you3+e ne+e( telt a lassie that you lo+ed he( and 4eant it in yi( li/e? A0 ye e+e( 0ant is yi( hole? A0- is that /u.1in (i)htH Gally used tae hate the 0ey he( 4ooth 0ent e/ti( a d(in1? It disnae bothe( 4e? :he3s (i)htF a0 ah34 inte(ested in 0i he( is a Joe =.6(ide? I/ she /eels the sa4e aboot 4e- so 4u.h the bette(? It 0is he( thou)h that 0anted this d(in1? Ah .ould3+e 2ist steyed in and had anothe( shot at he(? Ah .annae 0ait till 0e )et tae =uni.h- a0ay /ae a0 this /u.1in bollo.1s? The 0ey Gally3s been lately n a0- it3s li1e e+e(y .unt needs a b(e1- that3s )ua(anteed? T(yin tae li)hten thin)s up- ah sta(t tal1in shite? I Dou no 0ea( )lesses any 4ai(H I Na0- .onta.ts? I Ah ey0is /ound the )lesses se9y- ah tell he(- thin1in ay the ti4e 0hen she su.1ed ays oa/ n ah pilled ootspu(tin a0 o0e( they )oldB(i44ed yins she used tae 0ea(? :pea1in ay (i4s- she .ould dae 0i anothe( /u.1in (i44in ? ? ? I Dou /u.1in 0ea( thu4 then- she )oes? Na0- this is nae )ood? :he )oes tae the toilet n ah 0at.h he( ba.1 disappea(? Ah thin1 o/ ho0 ah /u.1ed he(- ho0 ah bet(ayed 8i+? No0 that ah3+e done it the on.e- o/ .ou(se- ah .an dae it a)ain? Thi(3s plenty /anny in toon )antin oan it- loads ay the4 at Fluid? Dinnae 0ant Gail thin1in she3s anythin) spe.ial? Ah )it a pen /ae the ba(4an and lea+e a 4essa)e oan the bee(4atF G? JA:T 7E=E=6E7ED :O=ETHING A7GENT? :EE DOA :OON? T? NNN Ah nip s0i/tly oot the doo( n /la) doon a ta9i oan the 4ain (oad(1/

4a1in /o( toon? =a sides u( sha1in at the thou)ht ay he( .o4in ba.1 tae that note?

Clubland
Fluid is /u.1in hea+in 0i 5uality /anny- and Ca(l3s lappin it up as usual? Ehs 4ate Ch(is is dee2ayin- n Ca(l3s 2ist 0aitin /o( his .han.e- s0annin (oond- hu))in e+e(y .unt- the /u.1in do)3s bollo.1s? Eh3s )oat ehs ai(4s (oond this lassie- n ah (e.o)nise he( as one ay the 6(oo1 )i(ls? They see 4e n .o4es o0e( n )its ays in a 0ee )(oup hu)? Ah34 hudin ontae the 6(oo1 lassie ti)ht n hi4 li)htly- .ause eh 1ens ah dinnae )o too 4u.h /i( that shite 0i othe( )uys? N this /u.1in 1issin othe( )uys )its oan 4a tits- E3s o( nae E3s? I A0 Te((y- Te((y- Te((yeh )oes- then 0i b(e1 oa/? I Good Ja.1 andsH I The best- Te(- the best? The best ah3+e e+e( hud? E+e(ythin)3s the best 0i that .unt? I En2oyin thu4- dollH ah as1 the 6(oo1 siste(? Ah .annae 4ind i/ it3s Lesley o( the othe( yin? Ah should do- .ause ah3+e /u.1ed thu4 baith? I 6(illiant- the 6(oo1 lassie )oes- 0(appin an ai(4 (oond E0a(t3s s1inny- lassieBli1e 0aist and s0eepin) he( hai( ba.1 oa/ he( /a.e? I Ca(l3s )aun tae )ie 4e one ay ehs spe.ial 4assa)es- a(en3t ye Ca(lH :pe.ial /u.1in 4assa)es? E0a(t? The sli4y /u.1e( 2ust loo1s intae he( eyes and s4iles deeply- then tu(ns tae 4e? I This lassie- she3s a +isioneh Te((yH Ah 4ean- loo1 at he(- 0hat a si)ht /o( so(e eyes? I De 1in say that a)ain- ah s4ile? E0a(t3s one ay they )uys 0hae d(ops an E and thin1s thi( sp(eadin a t(ail ay lo+e a.(oass the (oo4- but it3s a t(ail ay /u.1in oil- the s4a(4y .unt? I Ana..o4panied toni)ht- =( La0sonH ,he(e3s the lo+ely 8i+ianH I Gi(ls3 ni)ht oot 0i he( 4ates /i the 0o(1- ah lie? I Nae 6illy o( GallyH I 6illy3s he(e so4e0he(e- Ca(l says- loo1in a(oond- I n Gally- 0ell- eh .a4e in 0i this lassie and thi( baith (eally /u.1ed? Eh loo1s /u.1in s1a))ed tae 4e? The 0ee 6(oo1 lassie sha1es he( heid? I Eh3s su.h a lo+ely- lo+ely- lo+able laddie as 0ell- eh doesnae need

that (ubbish?
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These .unts d(oap an E and /ae thai( san.ti4onious hi)h they /eel it )ies the4 the (i)ht tae tell e+e(y .unt else 0hat tae dae? I De 0i( (i)ht aboot hi4- Te((y- eh3s tal1in a load ay shite? Ah 4ean- 0e3(e a0 sensiti+e people- as sta(+in =a(+in 0ould say- but Gally3s the 4aist sensiti+e ay the lot? Ehs li1e a .lito(is blo0n up tae /i+e /oot /i+e and 4oulded intae a hu4an /i)u(e- eh sais- n ah lau)h at that and the 6(oo1 siste( )ies it thou)ht/ul .onside(ation? Then the siste( tu(ns tae 4e n )oes- I :pea1 tae And(e0- Te((y- eh3s su.h a ni.e laddie? Eh3s one ay the 4ost beauti/ul laddies ah3+e e+e( 4et? Eh3s )ot su.h )o()eous eyes? Thi( li1e bi) pools ay lo+e- ye 0ant tae 2ust di+e (i)ht intae the4- n she 0(aps he( ai(4s (oond he( ain /(a4e- li1e she3s )aunny ha+e so4e 1ind ay /u.1in o()as4 2ist thin1in ay da/t 0ee Gally3s 4ad s4a.1edBoot eyes? They must be /u.1in )ood pills (i)ht enou)h? Ca(l )(abs a hud ay 4a ai(4? I Listen- Te(- ah34 oan in a 4inute- you /ind the .unt n 4a1e su(e eh disnae )it intae any 4ai( bothe(? =a(1 0is sayin thit thi( 0is a bit ay t(ouble at the doo( ? ? ? I ??? Douse a(e so beauti/ul tae yi( pals- ah lo+e the 0ey thit yis a0 loo1 e/ti( ea.h othe(- ah 1in (eally /eel that .o4in /ae yis n ah 1in pi.1 up a0 that .ause bein a t0in 4a1es ye 4ai( sensiti+e ? ? ? the 6(oo1 bi(d (abbits oan n oan? Ti4e ah 0is a0ay? I 7i)ht- ah nod- headin o//- )iein he( a 1iss oan he( shiny .hee1 and s5ueeEin he( e(se? Ah loo1 ba.1 n she3s stu.1 li1e a li4pet tae E0a(t- 0hae3s st(u))lin tae )it up tae the plat/o(4 n ontae the de.1s? It3s hot.hin a0(i)ht he(e but? Ah thoat ah3d .he.1 /o( Gally in the .hillBoot Eone- but thi(3s nae si)n ay u4? Then ah sees u4 sta))e(in a.(oass the dan.e/loo(- )ittin /unny )(ins /ae the blissedBoot (a+e(s? :o ah )oes up tae u4? I GallyG Eh 0as in so4e /u.1in state (i)ht enou)h? 7e)iste(in ays- eh stood (ooted tae the spot but s0ayin /ae side tae side- li1e an =FI 0a(d(obe? Fae 0hat ah 1in )athe(- the da/t /u.1e( had t(ied tae b(in) that ,ylie .unt in- but =a(1 oan the doo( 0is hu+in nane ay it- than1 /u.1 /i( that? ,ylie sta(ted shoutin the odds n this bi(d too1 u4 ha4e? :o Gally3s thai(e 0i this slappe( bi(d- 0ho- a0(i)ht- ye3d )ie one tae? Thi(3s so4ethin) aboot the4 baithF they (ee1 ay /u.1in 2un1? Eh3s p(obably been oot sin.e ah last sa0 u4 the othe( ni)ht at Ale.3s? Ah t(y tae tal1 tae hi4 but eh3s a0ay 0i it? Dinnae 1en 0hat =a(1 0is daein littin hi4 in- Ca(l3s 4ate o( no? I ,hat ye up tae4ateH ah as1? Ah
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/eel the sa4e 1ind ay i4potent loathin that Gail 4ust /eel aboot hi4- n ah 1in see he( point no0? I Hibs ? ? ? Dundee ? ? ? 7ab 6i((ell )oat done ? ? ? dinnae tell 6illy ? ? ? Gally sp(a//s oan? I Eh )oat doneH 7abH Gally nods? This dippit lassie3s hin)in ontae hi4- loo1in at 4e and s4ilin? :he3s no s1a))ed- she3s E3d oa/ he( nut- 2ist li1e that 6(oo1 t0in? I N La((y stabbed Phil n 0e hud tae ta1e Phil tae the hoaspital- this bi(d )oes? I =u(iel n La((y didnae )it in but- ehBno And(e0H Ah i)no(e he( n )(ab Gally3s ea(s n 4a1e hi4 loo1 ays in the eye? I Listen the no0- Gally- 0hen ye say 7ab )oat done- dae ye 4ean by the polis o( by so4e boysH I Polis ??? eh batte(ed a boy ? ? ? That3s one /o( the boo1- 7ab 6i((ell )ittin done? Ey0is thou)ht eh 0is too 4u.h ay a shitein .unt tae e+e( )it done /o( b(a0lin? Gally said tae ays that eh3s 0ell up /i( it at the /itba but? The thin) is- 0hat3s Gally daein )aun 0i a 4ob tae the /itba- then )ittin a0 s1a))ed up 0i the li1es ay ,ylieH Oil n 0ate(- su(ely? This .unt is .on/used a0(i)ht n eh3s no )aunny /eel any bette( i/ eh 1ens ah3+e been 1nobbin ehs e9? I T(y tae ta1e it easy4ate- .34oan th(ou)h he(e n sit doon? Ah ushe( hi4 tae the .hillBoot bit? I ,e .a4e tae dan.e ? ? ? this bi(d 0hin)es- 0ipin the s0eat o//ay he( b(o0? No 0i Gally shi 0illnae- the .unt .an ha(dly stand? Gally slu(s so4ethin aboot 0antin tae buy so4e E3s? Ah ta1e a .ouple /ae hi4 n 4a1e 4a e9.uses- 4o+in intae the he(t ay the bass? The da/t lassie 1in loo1 e/ti( hi4? Thi(3s so4e ba((yBloo1in bi(ds- but ah3+e ey0is 2ist li1ed .hattin up lassies in pubs (athe( than .lubs? The 4usi. (uins the a(t ay .on+e(sation? Thi(3s one in pa(ti.ula( that ah li1e- (eal ItalianBstyle :e(ieBA .lass? E/ti( that bit ay /un in Italy- ah3+e de.ided that it3s 4ai( up4a(1et /anny /i( 4e /ae no0 oan? De )it in+ol+ed 0i s.he4ie bi(ds n it3s no bad at /i(st- but a0 this stu// 0i Gail n Gally is /a( too .lose tae ho4e? Aye- he( at the ba(? :he ble0 ays a0ay 0hen ah /i(st .lo.1ed he(? :he loo1ed /u.1in )o()eousF a ti)ht TBshi(t on- leathe( t(ouse(s? He( hai( /lo0in) lon) and st(ai)ht- as .ool as- 0ell- that /ull pint o/ la)e( in he( hand? :he is a +ision- and no0 she3s headed (i)ht up tae 2a44y Ca(l E0a(t 0hae3s standin spinnin ehs tunes /ae behind the de.1s? Ah /ollay he(?

I NB:IGNH A(e you NB:IGNH she as1s- and in 5uite a posh +oi.e? The s4a(t .unt3s 2oys ay bein) a dee2ay? I Deah- eh s4iles- and eh 0is
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2ust about tae say 4ai( 0hen she th(o0s the pint o/ la)e( in the .unt3s /a.eG I NA>I :CA=G she shouts at u4- and Ca(l3s a0 sho.1ed@ eh 2ust stands thai(e spee.hless n d(ippin 0i bee(? It3s /u.1in ba((y- E0a(t3s puss is 0ell shutG The 6(oo1 lassie3s )aun ooohhh n t(yin tae .o4/o(t Ca(l n sayin thit thi(3s su.h a lo+ely +ibe and ho0 dae people hu+ tae spoil it- a0 that shite- then e+e(ybody3s o0e(? E0a(t3s )aun 4ental 0i 0hat the da/t .unt sees as the shee( in2usti.e ay it a0? Eh3s (antin a lot ay shite aboot hi4 n Topsy@ aboot it bein a da/t be++y 0i so4e auld 4ates n stupid senses o/ hu4ou(- 4edia 4anipulation and ent(ap4ent- n ehs p(e.ious politi.s- ehs so.ialisti.- libe(ta(ian politi.s? This bi(d3s hea(in none ay ehs shite but- .ause she3s still shoutin- at ou( so4e0hat soa1ed =( E0a(t- 0ho then has to (ea.t tae the la)e( pou(in) o+e( ehs +inyl and into the tu(ntables and a4ps- so eh3s no0 /(anti.ally usin) ehs s0eatshi(t as a 4op be/o(e the 0hole thin) sho(tB.i(.uits? =a(1- one o/ the boun.e(s- is (i)ht o+e( to the4@ he(- he( 4ate and a 0i(ed- .leanBloo1in dippit boy 0ho .ould be he( /elly? 6illy 6i((ell3s in- he3s seen it all and he3s (i)ht o0e( n a0? 6i((ell t(ies tae tell the lassie tae lea+e- ni.ely ah thoat- n he( /elly s5ua(es up tae hi4? I ,ho the /u.1 do you thin1 you3(e tal1in toH eh as1s? It3s a 0ideo a..ent- but it3s pitBoan /o( the bene/it ay the bi(ds? T(y as the .unt 4i)ht- eh .annae help but ooEe student /ae e+e(y po(e? 6i((ell i)no(es u4 n says tae the lassie- I Loo1- 2ust )o? :he sta(ts s.(ea4in) at hi4 no0- .allin) hi4 a NaEi n a /as.ist n a0 that shite that posh students li1e tae .all people- usually .ause thi( a0ay /ae ha4e /i( the /i(st ti4e n they dis.o+e( that they hate thi( 4a n dad and .annae handle it? 6illy3s as .ool as /u.1 but? Eh 1ens eh3s )oat no0t tae p(o+e tae the li1es ay the4 and eh 2ust tu(ns n 0al1s a0ay? The (ad)e boy stupidly )(abs ehs shoodi( n 6illy tu(ns in a 5ui.1- instin.ti+e 4o+e4ent and s4ashes the nut intae his /a.e? The boy sta))e(s ba.1- blood spu(tin /ae ehs nose? The lassie /(eeEes in sho.1? 6illy loo1s at he( 0hile eh points at hi4? I Di( boy/(iend3s )oat a bit ay boatil? Eh dese(+es bette( than a doEy .o0 li1e you? Ta1e u4 ha4eG =a(1 the boun.e( .o4es up- a0 0o((ied aboot 6i((ell? I De a0(i)ht- 6illyH Di( hand a0(i)htH De didnae hu+ tae pun.h the boy did yeH I No 0ay? Ah nutted u4- 6i((ell e9plains?
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I Good 4an- =a(1 says- a0 (elie+ed- n pats 6illy oan the ba.1? =a(13s a bi) /an ay 6i((ell3s n eh disnae 0ant tae see ehs ne9t /i)ht pit ba.1 .ause eh3s /u.1ed ehs 1nu.1les oan so4e da/t .unt? Eh tu(ns tae the studenty .unts? I 7IGHT DOA:E- OOTG C3=OANG DA8 6EEN TELTG Ca(l3s .allin /o( e+e(ybody tae .al4 doon? Ah3ll )ie the .unt ehs due@ eh3s a.tually t(yin tae s4a(4 intae this bi(d? Eh3s )aun oan aboot it bein nae p(oble4- 2ist a 4isunde(standin)? The .hee1y .unt e+en hus the ne(+e tae say tae 6i((ell- I That 0isnae too help/ul- 6illy? 6illy (aises his eyeb(o0s at hi4- as i/ tae sayF ah did it /i( you- ya da/t .unt? Thi( still )iein it the bi) yin thou)h- espe.ially that bi(d that soa1ed Ca(l? Gally3s a.(oass no0 n shoutin at the4- I ,ho the /u.1 a(e youse any0ey ? ? ? youse u( ??? youse u( ??? but eh3s that 0asted thit eh3s 2ist 4a1in a .unt ay ehsel? Then poo/yB/u.1inBd(a0e(s Ca(l E0a(t )oes- sha1in ehs heid- I Thi(3s too 4u.h testoste(one /loatin a(oond he(e ? ? ? I/ thi( hudnae hu+ been a0 that testoste(one /lyin aboot 0i hi4 n Topsy eh 0idnae hu+ )oat in the pape( in the /i(st pla.e- n eh p(obably 0ould3+e been oan ehs 0ey tae (idin that student bi(d by no0? Aye- thi(3s ey0is too 4u.h testoste(one /o( hi4 0hen it3s othe( people3s? Eh ni+i( see4s tae 4ind it 0hen it3s in ehs ain ba0s? Ah lap Ca(l up- but ah 2ist .annae help but thin1 thit that 0is ba((y 0hat that lassie did tae the a((o)ant .unt? :pin oan that yin- =( Dee2ayG The .hee1 ay that /u.1e( is that eh o0es it a0 tae us? I/ eh hudnae been 4ates 0i 4e n 6i((ell eh 0ould ha+e been bullied tae /u.1 at s.hool- that3s a .e(t? Fu.1in )ua(anteed- the /u.1in =il1y 6a( Cid thai(? And then eh 0idnae ha+e hud the .on/iden.e tae pon.e a(oond behind a set ay de.1s li1e eh hud a .o.1 the siEe ay the 6la.1pool To0e(? Aye- the s4a(t .unt thin1s eh3s )od3s )i/t tae /anny no0adays but ah 1in 4ind ay 0hen eh 0is )(ate/ul tae any /u.1in hounds thit 0id )ie u4 it? Ased tae thin1 eh 0is it- 0i that shite band hi4 n Topsy hud- but topB5uality /anny 0idnae loo1 at u(n until eh )oat ehs de.1s n ehs .lub ni)hts n ehs 0ad ay .ash? This P(e4ie(B4in)e la)e( lassie3s still shoutin at 6illy- e+en as he( 0ee 4ate3s t(yin tae ta1e he( oot? :he3s the 0ee tu) in to0F a du4py 0ee bint in a bla.1 d(ess 0i .u(ly hai( n 5uite blot.hy s1in? Aye- it3s no 2ist

testoste(one- thi(3s a /ai( auld bit ay oest(o)en /lyin a(oond n a0- n 4aist ay it3s .o4in /ae that la)e( bi(d? Tae 4e that 4eans an it.h that
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.annae be s.(at.hed- no by he( /elly at any (ate? Eh3s still hudin ehs nose up? I Is nobody )oin) to say anythin) about that- she points at hi4- I is nobody )oin) to stand up to the4H This lassie3s )oat a /u.1in blo.1ed d(ain a0(i)ht- so the only thin) tae dae is tae send /i( DynoB(od La0son he(eG Ah 4o+es /o(0a(d- 0in1in) at 6illy? I Is that ho0 you )et you( 1i.1s- 6i((ell- te((o(isin) peoplede/endin) /as.istsH Dou .an sti.1 you( .lub- ah spit- tu(nin tae the Cool La)e( Lassie- he( 4ate Cu(lyB,u(ly n the in2u(ed /elly- I I34 out o/ he(eG :u(e enou)h- as ah step outside- they3(e no /a( behind ays? =a(1 n ehs 4ate u( 4a1in su(e they stey oot n a0? The pe(( .unt3s bundled intae a ta9i and sent ha4e- o( up tae the AME oan ehs tod? The bi(d that splashed E0a(t is li+id at the pe(( /u.1e(? I He 0as bloody useless- she .(a0s as the ta9i speeds oa/? I A(e you o1ayH ah as1 he(? I Des I34 o1ayG she shouts at 4e? Ah sti.1 4a hands in the ai(? He( pal )(abs he(- then .o4es o+e( to 4e- tu))in oan 4a slee+e? I I34 so((y- than1s /o( sti.1in) up /o( us in the(e? The lassie that splashed E0a(t is a0 tense- she3s bitin at the s1in a(oond he( nails? Ah 0in1 at he(- a0 pla.ato(y li1e- and she )ies ays a tense s4ile ba.1? I Listen- ah say tae he( 4ate- I ah thin1 you( pal3s in a bit o/ sho.1? I34 )oin) to )et us anothe( ta9i? This lassie- the 0ee Cu(lyB,u(ly- nods than1/ully at 4e? Ah 2u4p intae the st(eet and shout one doon- di+in in the ba.1 n hudin the doo( open? They loo1 at 4e /o( a se.ond- then pile in? ,e3(e headin) ba.1 to thei( /lat in :outh Cle(1 :t(eet? Ah .hat up the 0ee Cu(lyB,u(ly- thin1in thit i/ ah )ie he( the ti4e ay day- ah34 doubleBbound tae be as1ed up? :u(e enou)h- they in+ite ays up /o( a d(in1 and a spli//? It3s a .oole( pad thin ah (e.1oned- youn) p(o/essional (athe( than studenty? ,e sit and tal1 about .lubbin) and politi.s? Ah34 sittin ba.1 lettin thai4 lead the .on+e(sation- but it3s typi.al studenty shite and ah hu+ tae ad4it ah34 /indin it ha(d tae /ei)n inte(est? The 4ain ob2e.ti+e is tae slip in the odd tellin )lan.e0hi.h ah do oan o..asion? The la)e(Blout3s too 0i(ed tae noti.e- but he( 4ate3s )antin on it? They baith see4 a bit 2a))ed- as i/ thi( oan a .o4edo0n- and they tell 4e that they3+e been .anin it a bit sin.e they 0ent oot oan F(iday ni)ht? I I 0ish 0e .ould )et 4o(e /u.1in) pills- the La)e( Lassie )oes?
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Ah pills oot the .ouple that Gally )ied ays and dishes the4 oot? I Ta1e these- thi( (eally )ood? I ,o0 ? ? ? sno0balls? A(e you su(eH I 6e 4y )uest- ah sh(u)? I That3s (eally so lo+ely o/ you- the La)e( Lassie s4iles at ays? Ah a.t .ool- .ause this type ay /anny3ll 2ist .o.1Btease ye till yi( ba0s e9plode i/ ye see4 too 1een? ,ithin hal/ an ooi(- thai( up a)ain? They 0i( .allin the boy/(iend )uy a0 the tosse(s unde( the sun- but no0 0i( a0 sittin 0(apped (oond ea.h othe( oan the .ou.h n the heatin3s up /ull n thi( tellin ays ho0 ni.e ah a4st(o1in 4a /a.e n hai( n .lathes n a0 that? 6al4 tae the /u.1in e)o- this is? 6ut ah3+e ni+i( (eally hud p(oble4s 0i the e)o- it3s the /u.1in id ah34 inte(ested in? Ah34 thin1in that ah should 4aybe t(y n s.(e0 the nut- but thi(3s the auld a4pheta4ined pe(+e(t in 4a heid- blaEin a0ay a0 sleaEy n li.entious n e))in ye oan tae /u(the( dep(a+ities? I Hu+ 0e )oat a ta1eBoan then- )i(lsH ah as1? I T0o a side- 0i one 4an sent oa/- that3s the odds ah li1eG They loo1 at 4e- then at ea.h othe(- and slo0ly but su(ely- the .lathes sta(t tae .o4e oa/ n 0e hu+ a )(eat 0ee ni)ht tae 0u(sel+es? In the ni)ht ah 0o1e up and had a 0ee pee1 at they s.a(let ha(lots? :leep .an be a .heatin .unt@ it3s )iein the4 a so(tay bea(in) and de4eanou( ay inno.en.e they didnae 0a((ant? ,hat the /u.1 is that a0 abootH :leep 4y e(se- it3s un.ons.iousness? Any unde(ta1e( .ould 4a1e a deid Cha(lie =anson loo1 3pea.e/ul3 in hal/ an ooi(? Ah )it d(essed and oot intae the .auld ni)ht- /eelin lonelie( and 4ai( )uilty than I3+e /elt in 4y li/e and lon)in tae see 8i+? 6ut ah3+e )oat so4e s.ent and /luids tae )et (id ay /i(st?

Co62etition
This )a// .e(tainly loo1s /u.1in easy? Ale. .a4e th(ou)h oan the su(+eillan.e- ah3ll hu+ tae )ie the 4in)in auld toe(a) ehs due? Just as 0ell- .ause ah ne+e( )oat a .han.e tae- no 0i the :e.(et :5ui((el pillin ays up li1e eh did? I The hoose is .o4pletely deta.hed and has a hu)e ba.1 and /(ont )ai(din 0i a 0ooded d(i+e0ay tae the side- leadin tae a )a(a)e? De .annae see the side lane /(o4 the (oad- .ause ay the bushes n the

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o+e(han)in) t(ees- Ale. had e9plained- soundin li1e an estate a)ent? Eh disnae /u.1in 0ell loo1 li1e yin4ind you? A/te( )aun past in the +an a .ouple ay ti4es ah )et out and open the bla.1Bpainted 0ooden )ate and Ale. )ets set tae d(i+e the 4oto( (i)ht doon the side ay the hoose? Ah .lo.1s that the ba.1 patio doo(s a(e e9pensi+e and doubleB)laEed? Ale.3s (i)ht thou)h- the 4u)3s )ot a si4ple )lassBpanelled doo( in the side lane 0hi.h 3a//o(ds a..ess3 tae the 1it.hen? Ale.3s pu//in and hea+in 0i the auld +an he(e? At /i(st the da/t basta(d t(ies tae d(i+e in head /i(st 0hi.h 4eans 0e3ll ha+e tae (e+e(se oot in an e4e()en.y? No 0ay? That auld 0an1 is /u.1in up badly- /o()ettin) his ain (ules? I E)(ess- Ale.- 4ind e)(ess- ah hiss- tappin the +an 0indae? Eh (e0o(1s the 4anoeu+(e- (e+e(sin .lu4sily intae the d(i+e0ay? As 0e )o in and ah shut the )ates- ah .lo.1 this auld blue +an pa(1ed (i)ht ootside in the st(eet? It3s a0 beat up- e+en 0o(se than ou(s? It loo1s abandonednae 0ey is that an un4a(1ed .op +ehi.le? I/ it hus been du4ped- it3s bad ne0s .ause it 4eans that so4e nosey .unt (oond he(e3ll soon be oan the blo0e( tae the to0Ba0ay /u.1e(s? The (is1 /a.to(3s )aun up a0(i)ht? Ale. )ets oot the +an and eh3s loo1in a0 tentati+ely at the /u.1in 0indae pane in the 1it.hen doo(? As 0e )o in ah see the (eason /i( ehs 0o((y? The .unt3s been s4ashed (i)ht in? I ,hat the /u.13s )aun oan he(eH eh 0hispe(s? I Ah dinnae li1e this- lit3s )it ba.1 in the +an and )et the /u.1 oot ay he(eG ,i( hu+in nane ay that? I No /u.1in 0ay ? ? ? so4e .unt3s t(yin tae (ob oo( /u.1in )a//G Lit3s )it this so(ted (i)ht ootG ,e open the doo( and tiptoe intae the 1it.hen th(ou)h the da(1ness? =a boot s.(un.hes oan so4e b(o1en )less? As 0e 0al1 a.(oss this tiled /lai(- all o/ a sudden the(e3s an al4i)hty .(ash and ah al4ost shite 4asel? Ah (ealise it3s Ale.- eh3s /ell hea+ily oan ehs e(se? I ,hat the /u.1 ??? ah spit th(ou)h the da(1ness at the .lu4sy d(un1en .unt? I Ah slipped oan so4ethin) ??? eh 4oans? Thi(3s a hell oa/ a s4ell n a0- (eally /u.1in pun)ent- and it3s that bad pe(( Ale. be)ins (et.hin? Ah34 sta(tin tae thin1 that the /ilthy /u.1in Ja1e3s /ollayed th(ou)h 0hen ah (ealise that so4ebody3s shat a.(oss the /lai(- n that3s 0hat Ale.3s slipped in? I Di(ty /u.1in ??? eh )asps- as eh pebbleBdashes the tiles 0i pu1e? Then in /(ont ay us- ah sees this /i)u(e- standin in the doo(0ay? Ah
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.at.h a )lint /ae a sha(d ay 4oonli)ht and ah (ealise thi(3s a 1ni/e in its 4itt? A youn) boy- about ei)hteen- n eh3s shitein it? T(e4blin- 0i the 1ni/e 0a+in aboot in /(ont ay u4? I ,hat dae youse 0antH DannyG Eh t0ists ehs heid n hisses up tae the stai(s? Ale. stands up- pointin at the 0ee )uy? I Did you dae that shite- ya di(ty 0ee /u.1e(H I Aye ??? eh ??? eh )oes n b(andishes the 1ni/e a)ain? I ,ho a(e youseG Ti4e tae so(t this (i)ht oot? I Pit that /u.1in doon- ya 0ee (ad)e- .ause see i/ ah hu+ tae .o4e o0e( thai( n ta1e it oa/ ye- ah3ll sti.1 it (i)ht up yi( shitey 0ee e(se- ah 0a(ns the boy? Eh 1ens ah34 no 2o1in as 0ell? Ah ta1es a step /o(0a(d- and eh 4o+es ba.1? Then behind u4- thi(3s this sha4blin- shi+e(in)- s0eatin) /i)u(e 0ho loo1s /a4ilia(? I Te((y- eh )asps- I Te((y La0son ? ? ? 0hat the /u.1 a(e you daein he(e- .atboyH I :pud ??? /o( /u.1 sa1e- 0hat3s the sto(yH This 0is oo( /u.1in 2oab 4an- 0e3+e been .asin this 2oint /i( 4onthsG It3s =u(phy? :pud =u(phy- /ae Leith? I ,e 0i( he(e /i(st li1esay- eh insists? I :o((y 4ate- ah sha1es 4a heid- I no0t pe(sonal- but 0e3+e pit too 4u.h sta1eBoot ti4e intae this 2oab /i( it tae be 2eopa(dised by a .ouple ay /u.1in 2un1ies? Di3ll hu+ tae shi/t ? ? ? I &h*m no a 2un1 ? ? ? the youn) boy sta(ts tae p(otest? I And you ya di(ty 0ee .unt- shitein oan the /lai(G Fu.1in ani4alG Ale. (oa(s- pointin at the 4ess oan ehs Ha((in)ton 2ay1it? I It3s the boy3s /i(st 2oab- Ale.- :pud p(otests? I Aye- ah 0idnae hu+ /u.1in )uessed o( no0t li1e that- ah sais- sha1in 4a heid? I Cannae )it /u.1in sta// these days- eh 4ateH :pud pits ehs hand o0e( ehs /a.e- 4oppin ehs b(o0 0i the slee+e ay ehs 2ay1it? The pe(( .unt loo1s /u.1in dest(oyed? I No0t3s )aun (i)ht the day ??? eh )oes- then loo1s up- I ??? loo1- 0i3ll hu+ tae sha(e ? ? ? split it t0o 0eys? Ah loo1s at Ale.? ,e baith 1en that 0e3+e )oat tae )it the /u.1 oot ay he(e soon? De .annae hin) aboot? The youn) boy3s )oat nae )lo+es oan and :pud3s 0ea(in) 0hat loo1s li1e a da/t pai( ay /u.1in 4ittens that ye 0ouldnae be able tae pi.1 anythin) up in? These .unts3ll be happy 0i so4e ay the CDs tae sell in the pub? I A0(i)ht- youse 1in ta1e the CDs? I Eh3s )oat a bi) .olle.tion li1e- :pud .on.edes? I 8ideos n a0? Ah )its a 0ee tou( a(oond? :pud3s in a bad

0ey- stupid 2un1ie .unt?
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Gally used tae hin) aboot 0i that =atty Connell 4ate ay his? Telt hi4 ne+e( tae )et 4i9ed up 0i they boys? De .an ne+e( t(ust a 2un1ie- and ye ne+e(- e(er 0o(1 0i one? 6(e1in a0 the /u.1in (ules he(e? This thin) ste(ted st(ai)ht/o(0a(d n it3s )one e(seBo0e(Btit 5ui.1style? As 0e )o up the stai(s ah .at.h up 0i :pud? Ah 4ind aboot no t(ustin 2un1ies- n he3s li+in p(oo/- .ause this 4ate ay his (ipped hi4 n ehs pals oa/? They hud a bi) s1a) deal doon in London- n the boy abs.onded 0i the lootG I Hea(d that 7enton .unt sti//ed yis- 4ate? Dou- 6e)bie n :i.1 6oy- that3s 0hat they tell 4e- ah said? I ,hat3s a0 that aboot- eh? I Aye ? ? ? that 0is a .ouple ay yea( a)o? No seen u4 sin.e? I Ho03s the (est ay the boys- :i.1 6oy n thatH I A0- eh :i.1 6oy3s still in London? Eh .a4e up tae see ehs =a a /e0 0ee1s ba.1 but- and 0i hud a /e0 be++ies? Ne+e( phoned me up- the .unt? :till- ah ey0is li1ed :i.1 6oy? I Good? Tell u4 a0 the best 0hen ye see u4? G(eat .unt- :i.1 6oy? N 0hat aboot F(an.o- he still inside- ayeH I Aye- :pud says- the +e(y 4ention ay that na4e 4a1in u4 a 0ee bit un.o4/o(table? Good- ah34 thin1in- best pla.e /i( the .unt? Disnae 1en 0hen tae s.(e0 the nut- that boy? Eh3ll 1ill so4e .unt o( )it 1illed ehsel- that /u.1e(- no0t su(e(? Worse thin Doyle- that .unt? 6ut ah34 4ai( .on.e(ned 0i the .ontents ay this hoose thin the .ontents ay =( 6e)bie3s 4ind- su.h as they a(e? The 4usi. syste4 and the a4ps a(e state ay the a(t? :oas the telly? Thi( a 4usi.al /a4ily n a0- t0o +iolins and a t(u4pet in a (ee1y (oo4 doon in the base4ent- and one ay they Ha44ond o()ans? The 1ids3+e )oat so4e .o4pute( )a4es and thi(3s a .ouple ay ne0 bi1es? In the bed(oo4 thi(3s so4e 2e0elle(y- but 2ust one o( t0o pie.es that loo1 0o(th anythin)? A .ouple ay 0ee anti5ue tables that3ll )o tae so4e bent deale( out ay to0n th(ou)h Peasbo? The CDs and LPs a(e 0o(th /u.1 all- :pud and his 0ee 4ate .an ha+e the lot and /lo) the4 /o( 0hate+e( shite the lose( .unts 0ant tae .oo1 and shoot intae thi( +eins? The ne9t sta)e is tae )it the 4e(.handise oot the hoose- intae the +an and oa/ tae the lo.1Bup? Ah dinnae 0ant :pud and the youn) boy .o4in thai(e 0i us 4ind you- a se.(et lo.ation3s 4eant tae be 2ist that- n it 0idnae be /i( lon) 0i they )abby .unts in to0? I ,hy did ye no pit yi( +an in the d(i+e0ay- :pudH I Thou)ht people 4i)ht see it /ae the hoose ne9t doo(? I Na0- the t(ees blo.1 it- ah tell u4 as 0i )o intae the bi)
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bed(oo4? I De 0i(nae )aunny )o (i)ht oot the /(ont doo( 0i so4e ay that )ea( 0i( yeH I Aye- 2ist one .ha()e 0i holdalls /ill ay stu//- eh )oes- then loo1s at 4e hope/ully- I 0e3+e nae pla.e tae sto(e the bi))e( )ea(? Eh .an /o()et it? Ne+e( 0o(1 0i a 2un1ie? I :o((y 4ate- .annae help ye oot- but yi3ll )it the CDs n +ids intae they holdalls? Ah loo1 at u4 e9pe.tin a bi) a()u4ent- but eh3s /u.1ed? No that eh3s the type tae a()ue? A )(eat )ad)e- but too easyB)aun- that3s his p(oble4? :o e+e(y .unt ta1es the pish? :ad- but t(ue? Eh3s sittin doon oan the b(assB /(a4ed bed? I Ah34 /eelin (opey- 4an ? ? ? I That 4on1ey oan the ba.1 4a1in) ehs p(esen.e /elt- eh 4ateH ah say- loo1in th(ou)h the d(a0e(s? :o4e ni.e 0ee sil1 undies? I Aye ? ? ? :pud shi+e(s- t(yin tae .han)e the sub2e.t? I :o ho0 lon) a(e the .ats in this )a// a0ay /i(H I T0o 0ee1s? :pud3s no0 lyin oan the bed- .u(led up- loo1in a0 .(a4ped and s0eaty? I Ah .ould 4ibbe .hill he(e /o( a bit 4an ? ? ? I C34oan- 4ate- ye .annae stey he(e- ah hal/Blau)h? Eh3s b(eathin hea+ily no0? I Listen- .atboy- ah34 2ist thin1in that this 4i)ht li1esay be the pla.e tae )it oa/ the )ea( ??? a ni.e pad li1e this ? ? ? the .hilled +ibes ? ? ? 2ist /i( a .ouple ay days ? ? ? hole up n dae the .auld tu(1ey thin) ? ? ? Li+in in a d(ea40o(ld that .unt? I As ye 0ish- :pud- 2ist dinnae e9pe.t 4e tae 1eep ye .o4pany? Ah3+e business tae so(t oot- boss? Ah34 oa/ doon the stai(s 0i as 4u.h bla) as ah 1in .ai((y- 0antin tae )it a0ay /ae the da/t .unt n )et the /u.1 oot ay he(e? Ale.3s bo))in- still s4ellin ay that 0ee basta(d3s (unny shite that eh3s been d(a))in th(ou)h the hoose? Eh3s 4ade atte4pts tae .lean it oa/ u4 but no0 that eh3s /ound the d(in1s .abinet ehs tannin the 0his1y? Ah34 /u.1in 0ell annoyed he(e? I C34oan you- ya 2a1ey .unt- 0hat the /u.1 a(e ye li1eH I A 0ee st(ai)htene(- Ale. 0heeEes- t(yin tae )et hi4sel/ up(i)ht in a bi) padded leathe( .hai(- I a 0ee )old /elly- a 0ee do.1 n do(is- eh s4iles? Then eh loo1s at the 0ee boy- 0hae3s )aun th(ou)h the +ideos n CDs?

I The boy he(e3ll help ye 0i the li/tin- it3s the least eh 1in dae e/ti( .o+e(in 4e in shiteG The 0ee )uy3s loo1in a0 despondent? Then ehs /a.e li)hts up n eh huds up /agin Bull. # Is it a0(i)ht i/ ah 1eep this yinH I ,e3ll see- 4ate- bit 2ist )ies a hand 0i this telly the no0- ah say- n eh3s no .hu//ed- but eh3s )oat an end and 0e3(e oot th(ou)h the
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1it.hen- t(yin) tae dod)e that (unny shite? I Did naebody tell ye that the shite is the last thin) ye dae- e/ti( you3+e (e4o+ed e+e(ythin) ye 0ant tae ni.1H Eh loo1s a0 +a.ant? I Also- ye dinnae shite (i)ht in yi( es.ape (oute? E)(ess- ah 0a(ned the 0ee .unt? Eh3s a )ood )(a/te( thou)h- and 0e3+e soon )oat the +an loaded? Pe(( 0ee /u.1e(? Dea(s a)o- 0hen thi( 0is loads ay 4anual 2oabs /o( the 0o(1in) .lasses- a 0ee .unt li1e that 0ould be )(a/tin a0ay- 0o(1in /i( the .o4pany sto(e until eh 1eeled o0e( lu))in so4e /u(nitu(e intae a (i.h /u.1e(3s hoose? 6ut eh3d be a la0Babidin .itiEen? No0- apa(t /ae sui.ide- .(i4e3s the only option /i( the li1es ay hi4? Oot the .o(ne( ay 4a eye- ah noti.e t0o (u)s oan the 0a0? Ah 1en it3s a (i.h .unt3s .(a.1 tae dae that- but ah34 thin1in- they 4ust be +aluable i/ they dinnae 0ant any /u.1e( 0al1in oan thu4? They do loo1 topB5ualityso ah )ets ah hud ay the4- (ollin thu4 up- 0hile that 4in)in auld .unt Ale.3s /illin a holdall /ull ay booEe? It3s )ittin 0ay beyond a 2o1e 0i hi4 n the be++y? I/ that .unt .ould b(e1 intae Fo(t Cno9- ah s0ea( thit eh3d be 2u4pin o0e( the )oldBbullion sta.1s tae )it tae the .upboa(d 0he(e so4e se.u(ity )ua(d 1eeps ehs d(in1? I ,hai(e3s Danny- the 0ee boy as1s? Ah nea(ly /o()ot@ that3s :pud3s (eal na4e? I Ap the stai(s- in a bad 0ey- ah e9plains- then pointin tae the end ay they (u)s ah3+e sta.1ed the)ithe(- ah tells u4- I Goan )it an end ay this- pal? I A0(i)ht- eh says- n eh pi.1s it up? Eh )ies ays a 0ee )(in- I :o((y aboot the shite oan the /lai( n that? Ah 2ist )oat a0 e9.ited aboot bein in he(e ??? ah .ouldnae help it? I E+e(ybody does it /i(st ti4e- usually (i)ht in the 4iddle ay the /lai(? That3s ey0is the 0ey tae .he.1 0hethe( yu+ been done by a no+i.e o( an a4ateu(- the p(esen.e ay shite oan the /lai(? I Danny ??? eh- :pud said that n a0? Ah 0onde( 0hat /i(- ehH This hus been a teaBlea/s point ay dis.ussion sin.e the auld testa4ent? I :o4e people say it3s a0 tae dae 0i the .lass 0a(? :o(t ay li1e- yous3+e )oat the loot but 0e3+e beaten yis- ya basta(ds? 6ut 4e 4asel- ah (e.1on 4asel that it3s 4ai( tae dae 0i (e.ip(o.ation? This 0ee .unt loo1s )lai1it a)ain? Eh3s ni+i( )aunny 0o(1 /i( NA:A in the desi)n /ield- that3s a (a.in) .e(t? I Giein so4ethin) ba.1 in (etu(n- ah e9plain? I That3s ho0 0e /eel un.o4/o(table aboot )iein 2a1eys 4oney in the st(eet- e+en i/ 0i( /lush at the ti4e? They say thit ye
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dinnae /eel happy in a t(ansa.tion i/ one pe(son3s ta1in n the othe( yin3s )iein? Ni+i( bu))ed 4e- 4ind you- i/ ah 0is the yin daein the ta1in that is? 6ut aye- that3s 0hat they (e.1on? The .unt3s noddin- but ye 1in tell ehs loast? I :o- ye 0ant tae lea+e behind a 0ee p(esent- a pe(sonal .allin .a(d- ah e9plain n 4a1e a /a(tin noise? The 0ee boy lau)hs at this- that3s the .unt3s le+el but- eh? I Tell ye 0hat thou)h- 4ate- ye 0ant tae .han)e yi( /u.1in diet- less (ou)ha)e n a bit 4ai( i(on i/ ye 0ant tae 1eep oan at this )a4e? T(y s0it.hin /ae la)e( tae Guinness? I 7i)ht- eh sais- li1e eh se(iously thin1s it 0id be a )ood .a(ee( 4o+e? Ale.3s sta))e(in tae0a(ds the +an- ehs ba) st(et.hed 0i the 0ei)ht ay the boatils in it? Ah3+e )oat the auld 2a1ey n ah34 t(yin tae boost u4- help u4 up intae the /(ont ay the T(ansit- behind the 0heel? Eh3s st(u))lin)- but eh 1eeps a hud ay that ba) li1e it3s )oat the /u.1in .(o0n 2e0els in it? Finally- eh )its in? I De 0ant 4e tae d(i+e- ah as1s- .ause he3s 0ell /u.1ed? I Na0- na0- ah34 o1ay ? ? ? Nippin (oond ah shut the ba.1 ay the +an n open the )ates? The 0ee .unt stands 0at.hin then as1s ays- I ,hat aboot 4e and :pud- 0hen dae 0e )it oo( sha(eH Ah lau)h at the dippit 0ee /u.1e(- and .li4b intae the passen)e( seat? Ah pi.1 up a .opy ay the Daily /ecord oaf the dashboa(d? It3s aboot a 0ee1 auld? I ,hat sta( si)n u( ye- 4ateH Eh loo1s up at ays /i( a se.ond? I Eh ??? :a)itta(ius ? ? ? I :a)itta(ius ??? ah )oes- 4a1in li1e ah34 loo1in it up in the pape(? I As A(anus is a.ti+e- you 0ill ha+e a lu.(ati+e ti4e- pa(ti.ula(ly i/ you listen to 4o(e e9pe(ien.ed .ollea)ues in the a(ea o/ 0o(1 ? ? ? the(e ye )o4ateG Che.1 thisF .o4pa.t dis.s and +ideo .assettes 4a1e a pa(ti.ula(ly )ood in+est4ent at this ti4e o/ yea( and ha01in) those )oods a(ound s.he4e pubs /o( the .u((en.y o/ the (eal4 is li1ely to be a ba((y ea(ne(? I Eh ??? I ,hat the pape(3s sayin- 4ate- is that you( sha(e3s still in the hoose thai(e? They +ideos n a0 that a(e 0o(th

a /o(tuneG N as /i( the CDs ? ? ? I 6ut ??? eh stutte(s? I ,e3(e .uttin oo( ain th(oats he(eG A0 this stu//- ah nods behind ays- I 0i( )aun tae hu+ tae /en.e it- n it3s a0 t(a.eable? ,e3(e the
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ones ta1in the (is1s? Ne9t ti4e ah see ye- ah3ll buy ye a pint n so4e 2ellies /i( yi( labou(? I 6ut ??? I Na0 4ate- )o in thai( n )it they CDs n +ids intae they holdalls? Hu((y- o( ye3ll be /u.1edG Eh .onside(s this /o( a 4inute- then s.u((ies ba.1 in- as 0e tea( oot the d(i+e0ay and intae the st(eet? I =u)s- ah lau)h- .at.hin a 0hi// ay Ale.- 0hae s4ells e+en 4ai( /oul than usual? This +an3s a bit li1e Ale.- it 4i)ht be /ill ay 2ui.e- but it3s ti(ed n 0heeEin)? It also 4a1es a /u.1 ay a (a.1et? As Ale. ta1es a .o(ne( a bit sha(p- the(e3s a .latte( in the ba.1 and 0e3+e no sta.1ed they )oods as 0ell as ah thoat? I Fu.1in hell- Ale.- slo0 doon o( ta1e a (e/(eshe( d(i+in testG Di3ll hu+ the /u.1in polis oan ou( .ase? :t(ai)hten upG This see4s tae sobe( hi4 up a 0ee bit? but by the ti4e 0i )its tae the indust(ial estate eh3s (unnin up the /u.1in 1e(b n thi(3s anothe( .(ash in the ba.1? Ah de.ide tae say no0t this ti4e? The 0hites ay ehs eyes3+e )aun yellay- and that3s no a )ood si)n? It3s li1e any 4inute eh3s )aunny sta(t s0attin i4a)ina(y de4ons? ,e )its up tae the lo.1Bup- d(i+es in and unloads the stu//- 4e daein p(a.ti.ally a0 the )(a/t as Ale.- s0eatin and 4oanin- th(o0s up t0i.e? The pallets a(e sta.1ed tae hi)h hea+en- 0i( li1e a /u.1in dis.ount 0a(ehoose he(e? I This lo.1Bup3s nea(ly /u.1in /ill- Ale.- 0e3ll hu+ tae )it so4e ay this auld stu// doon tae Peasbo? I Ehs shoap3s still pa.1ed 0i stu//- Ale. says- (estin oan a bi) =a(shall a4pli/ie(? Ah34 )ittin pissed oa/ 0i a0 this? I ,ell- it3s )ittin /u.1in (idi.- Ale.- it3s )ittin soas 0i( daein 2oabs 2ist tae pey the (ent /i( a lo.1Bup /ill ay )ea( 0i .annae e+en /u.1in sell? I P(oble4 is no0- Te((y- Ale. .ou)hs- I ??? that i/ ye hud oan /i( si9 4onths 0i ele.t(i.al )oods- nae .unt 0ants the4 ? ? ? dep(e.iation ay )oods ? ? ? obsolete ? ? ? te.hnolo)y n that ? ? ? I Ah 1en- bit ye .annae hu+ hoat )ea( in the shoaps- Ale.- the polis 2ist need tae t(a.e one ite4- so4e .unt pani.s n blabs n then 0e3(e /u.1ed? I ??? .han)e ? ? ? obsolete ? ? ? te.hnolo)y ? ? ? The 4yth aboot )(asses 0as that people )(assed 4ainly oot ay snideness and spite- o( pe(sonal )ain? That 4ibbe happens in topBle+el .(i4e- o( at the othe( end- tae so4e poo( .unt daein a bit ay paintin n de.o(atin n )ittin ehs )i(o stoaped .ause ay so4e poisonous basta(d? Fo( the li1es ay us but- 4aist )(asses a(e 2ust thi.1 .unts 0ho )ie ye
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a0ay oot ay stupidity? They dinnae 4ean it- but they )et 4outhy in the pub and .on/used and inti4idated in the inte((o)ation (oo4 n thi( easy /o( e9pe(ien.ed polis tae b(e1 doon? I ??? thin)s a(e .han)in ? ? ? )oods a(e obsolete ??? in nae ti4e at a0 ??? it3s )ittin 0o(se- Ale. 0a(ns? I ??? It3s )aunny )it 0o(se ? ? ? That3s one /u.1in thin) that ah 1in be su(e ay- hin)in a(oond 0i a useless pishBheid li1e hi4?

Carl ("art
I'h *in (in (dinbur9her
The usual .(e0 a(e p(esent and in.o((e.tF 4e- Jui.e Te((y- Gally and 6illy 6i((ell? ,e3d been in =uni.h /i( the O1tobe(/est but 0e needed a 0ee b(e1 /ae the /esti+al site as thin)s 0i(nae 5uite )aun tae plan? Aye- 0e 0i( )ittin as pished as e//luent .anal (ats e+e(y ni)ht- n that 0is supposed tae be 0hat this 0ee 2aunt 0is a0 aboot? The a+o0ed pu(pose 0as tae )et a0ay- and )et ba.1 oan the bee(s n oa/ the e.1ies- .ause 0e3d been tannin the4 bi)ti4e ba.1 ha4e? That3s pa(tly 4a doin@ sin.e ah )oat se(iously intae the dee2ayin) I3+e had a lot ay a..ess- i44e(sed in that li/e? They hudnae done us any he(4 li1e- but nothin) that )ood .o4es 0ithoot a p(i.e so 0e thoat- lea+e it /i( a bit- )it ba.1 oan the pee+e n see 0hat happens? O/ .ou(se- 0hat happened 0is the sa4e thin) that happened be/o(e the E3s .a4e alon)@ e+e(y .unt 0antin tae )o s0ed)in n naebody able tae )it a (ide? That 0is p(edi.table enou)h- but this pla.e 0is li1e /anny .ity? I/ ye .ouldnae )it yi( hole he(e ye 4i)ht as 0ell 2ist ta1e the /u.1in (aEo( tae it and /lo) it tae the F(en.h as a deli.a.y? Thin) 0is- e+en thou)h 0e hud a0 )(o0n up oan be++y- n ou( 0hole .ultu(e 0as satu(ated in the /u.1in d(u)- 0i 2ist 0i(nae used tae this so(t ay s.ene any4ai(? O/ .ou(se- 0e ea.h had ou( ain a)enda? It3s ne+e( 5uite as si4ple as a bun.h ay (ad)es oot oan the piss /o( a /o(tni)ht- e+en thou)h that 4i)ht be ho0 it see4s /ae the outside? 6illy had a title /i)ht .o4in up and he 0anted tae )et a0ay /(o4 .lubbin) and 1eep his /itness up? His 4ana)e(- 7onnie Allison- had been +e(y

(elu.tant to let hi4 )o a0ay 2ust t0o 4onths be/o(e his bi) pa))e(- but he3d played it the 0(on) 0ay by tellin) 6illy 3no3 st(ai)ht o//? 6illy .ould be a 0il/ul- obstinate .unt(30

and i/ you said 3su)a(3 he3d say 3shite3? ,hi.h 0as e9a.tly 0hat he3d said to 7onnie? Jui.e Te((y 0as a di//e(ent ha+e(sa.1 o/ ha4ste(s? He 0as a be++y 4e(.hant- pu(e and si4ple- and the G(eat ,hite Hope o/ Ae(ated ,ate( :ales4anship hudnae ta1en tae the ne0 e.stasy and .lub .ultu(e 0ith the sa4e abandon as the (est o/ us? The =uni.h O1tobe(/est 0as a pishBheid Lou(des- and Te((y 0as dete(4ined tae ta1e the healin) 0ate(s by the :teine(? :o Jui.e Te((y La0son- you .ould say- 0as the d(i+in) /o(.e behind this holiday? Andy Gallo0ay- as usual- 0ent 0ith the /lo0? ,ith Gally- the(e 0as nothin) you .ouldn3t tease a positi+e (esult out o/? He3d had his /ai( sha(e o/ p(oble4s ba.1 o+e( the (oad (e.ently? Gally 0as a ni.e )uy 0ho 2ust see4ed to att(a.t bad lu.1? I/ any .unt dese(+ed a )ood hoaliday it 0is hi4? And 4eH ,ell- tae be 5uite honest- ah 0is a0(i)ht- in /a.t ah 0is li1e a /ly in the 4aist deli.iously to9i. /o(4 ay shite ye .ould )et- 2ist s0annin) (oond the (e.o(d shops .he.1in oot a0 the Eu(ote.hno stu//? The s.ene 0as bu()eonin) he(e and that 0as 4y a)enda? ,e3d been a(ound a 0ee1 and 4ostly I3d been .he.1in) out the (e.o(d shops- but I3d 4ana)ed to snea1 intae a .ouple o/ .lubs one ni)ht 0i 6illy- 0ho 0as an9ious to )et a0ay /(o4 the d(in1in)? Te((y and Gally didnae hal/ )ie us )yp /i( that- but 0e ne+e( )oat E3d up- sti.1in tae the be++yBonly pa.t 0e3d 4ade- as the Lo(d God Al4i)hty3s oo( 0itness? The bee( /esti+al 0as so4ethin) else thou)h? This 0hole pla.e 0is a (a4pant inhibitionBsheddin) :odo4 and d(in1Bsodden Go4o((ah land and oo( pullin po0e( 0is still shite? The(e 0e(e t0o basi. p(oble4s- the /i(st one bein) that 0e3d lost the ability to tal1 the d(un1en innuendoB.oded shite that .onstituted 4ost .hatBup lines and the 4o(e open- honest E stu// didnae see4 app(op(iate? The se.ond p(oble4 0as that 0e si4ply .ouldn3t .ont(ol the be++y? ,e 0e(e pished senseless be/o(e 0e 1ne0 it? :o the /i(st 0ee1 had been aboot a..li4atisation tae the ne0 status 5uo? The(e had been oppo(tunities /o( en.ounte(s o/ the se9ual natu(e o/ .ou(se@ ah thou)ht that ah 0is on a sha) on the /i(st ni)ht 0ith this 6el)ian bi(d but ah 0is too pished tae )it a p(ope( ha(dBon and had tae settle /o( a blo0 2ob 0i a .ondo4 oan and a 0ea1 .o4e th(ou)h a nu4b se4i? Te((y had pilled one ni)ht- pished as /u.1- and eh )oat so intae the /o(eplay that eh 4es4e(ised hi4sel/ and /ell asleep lea+in so4e pe(( F(aulein sea(.hin) /o( the .andles? Gally and 6illy- su(p(isin)ly- hadn3t .o4e .lose? It 4ade 4e
(31

thin1 that 0e .an tal1 aboot .olonial e9ploitation- e.ono4i. de+astation and i44i)(ation- but 4aybe the (eal (eason the population ay :.otland is so lo0 is that e+e(y .unt3s too pished tae )it it up? :o 0e3ll p(obably end up )oin) th(ou)h 4o(e /u.1in hotels than 0e 0ill bi(ds by the end ay the hoaliday? Ou( o(i)inal di)s had been in this Tu(1ish pla.e 0i a na((o0 0ee stai(.ase 0hi.h led tae a bi) (oo4 0i t0o bun1 beds in it? The )a// hud a 0ee ba( doonstai(s n 0hen 0e .a4e ba.1 (atBa(sed /ae the /esti+al site- ah (ea.hed o0e( the .ounte( n .ho(ied a boatil ay Johnny ,al1e( 7ed Label? ,e .(ashed oot on oo( bun1 beds and d(an1 it until 0i passed oot? The ne9t ah 4ind is bein 0o1en up by they Tu(1ish /u.1e(s .o4in intae oo( (oo4? They 0i( shoutin n s.(ea4in at us n one ay the4 0ent th(ou)h tae the toilet? ,hat happened 0as that Te((y hud )oat up in the ni)ht tae dae a shite- but instead ay the bo)- the pishedBup .unt hud used this bidet thin) they hud thai(e? I assu4ed these thin)s 0i( only /ound in F(an.e- but this doss house hud one? Any0ey- the Jui.e =an (ealised eh3d shat in the 0(on) pla.e so eh tu(ned on the 0ee taps tae 0ash a0 the .a.1 a0ay be/o(e hittin the 4att(ess n /a0in intae a slu4be(? The p(oble4 0is that 4aist ay it .lo))ed up in the d(aina)e holes- .ausin the 0ate( tae o+e(/lo0 n )o intae the (oo4 doonstai(s /ae us 0hai(e so4e .ouple oan honey4oon 0i( t(yin tae ban) a0ay in pea.e- but ended up bein .o+e(ed in 0et peeled plaste( and Te((y3s shitey pish0ate(? That 0is us- slun) oot intae the st(eet- a0 oo( .lathes n stu// .(a44ed intae oo( ba)s? I Dou di(ty En)leesh basta(ds- the Tu(1 boy shouted at us? 6illy 0ent tae p(otest at the 3En)lish3 but Te((y )oes- I Fu.1 it- 6i((ell0e3ll ta1e that? :o((y baht o(l that 4e ol3 4oite- eh sais tae the Tu(1ish boy as 0i sta))e(ed doon the (oadaboot /i+e in the 4o(nin- 0(e.1ed and deli(ious? ,e slept in the station n spent the 0hole ay the ne9t day 4ise(able- hun)o+e( n loo1in /i( ne0 di)s? It 0is a .ase ay ta1e 0hat ye .ould )et- and the ne0 di)s 0e(e a lot /u.1in dea(e(? Gally 0as 4oanin) that eh 0is s1int n .ouldnae a//o(d it- but it 0is any po(t in a sto(4 as /a( as the (est ay us 0ent? 6illy 0is )aun on aboot hu+in tae )et settled- as eh 1ept .allin) it? I Ah need tae )et settled- ah3+e )oat a /i)ht .o4in up- eh 0hin)ed? It 0o((ied 4e that eh 0is 0hin)in that 4u.h- .ause 6i((ell ne+e( usually .o4plained aboot anythin)? Eh al0ays 2ust )oat on 0i it? Te((y 0as )ettin) 4aist ay the bla4e /o( the Tu(1ish deba.le- and the a()u4ents .a((ied oan and oan? They 0e(e still at it at b(ea1/ast ne9t 4o(nin)? Ah .ouldnae handle a0 the bi.1e(in)- so ah 0ent a0ay

(3(

/o( a st(oll n tae .he.1 oot so4e 4usi.? Ah /ound an e9.ellent (e.o(d shop- p(o4ptly .o(ne(in) a de.1 and a set ay headphones? The /i(st (e.o(d that ah3+e sele.ted ah play th(ee ti4es? Cannae 4a1e up 4a 4ind? :ta(ts o// li1e it 4eans business- but then it 2ist see4s tae )o nae0hai(e? Nah? The se.ond one is a .(a.1e(- /ae a 6el)ian label ah3d ne+e( hea(d ay- lit alone 1in p(onoun.e? This /u.1e( 2ust builds and builds then it le+els oa/ /i( a bitbe/o(e 1i.1in up a /u.1in sto(4 a)ain? A )(eat t(a.1 /o( uppin) the sta1es oan the dan.e/lai(? The best tune I3+e hea(d in 4y li/e? Ah /ind anothe( .(a.1e( /ae the sa4e label- then a 4ad- .(ashin) FN t(a.1 0hi.h ah de.ide 0ould be /u.1in apo.alypti. i/ ye 1no.1ed oa/ its bass and played the .unt oan toap ay the buildin) t(a.1 0hen that /u.1e( hits its plateau? I )et tal1in) tae this boy in the shoap- 0ho3s in deli+e(in so4e /lie(s? The boy3s .alled 7ol/- n eh 4ust be aboot oo( a)e o( a bit youn)e(- a da(1Bs1inned punte( 0i a .hee1y s4ile? Eh3s 0ea(in this TBshi(t 0hi.h p(o4otes this Ge(4an te.hno label? These Ge(4an .unts loo1 that /u.1in /it n /(esh- it3s no easy tae tell thi( a)e? Eh3s tellin ays aboot a pa(ty ni)ht- then eh3s pointin ays oot so4e tunes- one ay 0hi.h is an absolute .(a.1e(- so ah hu+ that as 0ell? E/ti( a bit a tidy bi(d- sli4 0i lon) blonde hai(- 0ea(in a 0hite TBshi(t but nae b(a- .o4es in tae 4eet the 7ol/ boy? I This is G(et.hen- eh says? Ah )ie he( a pat oan the ai(4 n a hiya? 7ol/ )ies ays ehs nu4be( be/o(e they lea+e the)ithe(? Ah 0at.h thu4 depa(t- hopin this bi(d3s )oat a siste( at ha4eo( 4ibbe so4e 4ates that loo1 li1e he(F 6undesli)a /anny- as Te((y 0ould say? E/ti( .he.1in oot so4e 4ai( sounds ah34 .(a.1in oan 0i the )uy behind the .ounte(- =a9- n so4e ay ehs 4ates? ,i( tal1in tunes n the boys a0 see4 as )enuinely inte(ested n 0hat3s )aun oan 0i us ba.1 ha4e as ah ah4 aboot 0hat3s )aun oan doon he(e? The t(uth ay it is- and ah /eel a bit )uilty aboot it- but this is 0hat ah li1e the 4aist no0- .(a.1in oan 0i so4e heads about sounds- .he.1in oot 0hat .unts a(e listenin) tae- sussin oot 0hat3s )aun doon? Apa(t /ae bein oan the de.1s- this is the hi)hest /o(4 ay en2oy4ent /o( 4e? Ob+iously ah li1e han)in oot 0i the boys n a0- but e+e(y .unt3s .oole( no0? ,e 1in a0 )it the)ithe( n hu+ a lau)h 0ithoot bein in ea.h othe(3s poa1its a0 the ti4e? :o ah spent 4aist ay the day in the shoap? That3s the thin) aboot 4usi.- i/ yi( (eally intae it- ye .an )o any0he(e in the 0o(ld and /eel li1e you3+e )oat lon)Blost 4ates 0ithin a .ouple ay hou(s? O/ .ou(se- the NotB:oBLean La0son still )oes oan aboot us a0 sti.1in the)ithe(- bit that3s only 0hin it suits that .unt? As soon as thi(3s /anny sho0in any inte(est- eh3s oa/ li1e a /u.1in shot? Li1e this 4o(nin)
(33

a/te( b(ea1/ast- eh 0anted us tae sti.1 a(oond and sp(a/- until it 0is ti4e /i( hi4 tae head oa/- tae dae ehs ain 0ee bit ay sni/lin a(oond? That3s Te((y- eh /inds a bi(d eh /an.ies 0o(1in in a pub o( a shoap- then eh )oes n hassles he( till she .o4es oot /o( a d(in1 0i u4? Eh3s )ot nae sha4e- and eh3s ob+iously spotted a /e0 ta()ets? Te((y .annae bea( tae be alaine- unless eh3s )oat a tele+ision set /o( .o4pany? 6ut 6illy 0anted tae )it ba.1 and dae so4e t(ainin- 0hile Gally 0is intae be++yin? :u(e enou)h- 0hen ah )oat ba.1 late a/te(noon- Te((y3s a0ay- n 6i((ell 0is oot /o( a (un in ehs t(a.1suit n Gally 0is sittin) on the hotel bal.ony hal/Bpished 0i a .a((yBoot? I E9.ellent ales- he slu((ed theat(i.ally? I ,ell- eh )oes- /i9in ays 0i these bi) la4ps ay his- I :teyin in a )a// li1e this- ah34 no )aunny hu+ the 4oney tae be able tae )o oot d(in1in? Ah dinnae li1e the idea ay hi4 sittin pissin it up li1e that oan ehs tod? That3s no holiday d(in1in- no tae 4ebut i/ that3s 0hat eh 0ants tae dae it3s up tae hi4? :o this ni)ht 0e ta1es a 0ee 2aunt up tae the uni+e(sity a(ea in o(de( tae ta1e sto.1 ay the situ? ,e3d )one tae the ABbahn and )oat oa/ at the Ani+e(sity :tation- 2ist be.ause- ah suppose- loads ay bi(ds see4ed tae be )ettin oa/ the(e? ,e 0al1ed a(oond /i( a bit and ended up in this pla.e .alled the :.hellin) :aloon? It 0is a la()e ba( 0ith loads ay pool tables? It had a loat ay .ha(a.te(- in /a.t it p(obably had too 4u.h@ a 0ee Ge(4an )ad)e told us that it 0is Hitle(3s lo.al and he .a4e in he(e a loat 0hen eh /i(st 4o+ed tae =uni.h? Any0ey- that 0is us? Gettin) pished a)ain- but this ti4e 0i 0i( /a( /(o4 the 4addin) .(o0ds in the /esti+al site- 2ist sittin up he(e in Adol/s auld booEe(? Aye- 0e 0e(e soon tannin it- althou)h 6illy 0is hudin ba.1 a bit .ause ay the bi) /i)ht .o4in up? O/ .ou(se Jui.e Te((y 0is )iein the pe(( .unt a ha(d ti4e? I C34oan 6i((ell- ya /u.1in blouse- yi( supposed tae be oan hoaliday? Git a /u.1in 2a) in ye- eh )oes- loo1in a0 supe(.iliously doon at 6illy3s o(an)e 2ui.e? 6illy 2ist s4iles ba.1 at u4? I Late(- Te((y? Ah3+e )oat tae 0at.h- 4ate? Ah34 /i)htin in a /e0 0ee1s3 ti4e4ind? 7onnie Allison3ll )o (ad)e i/ ah dinnae 4aintain 4a .ondition? I Hea( the .unt? The /u.1in 7e4b(andt Cid thai(e? Ni+i( oa/ the /u.1in .an+as- the .o(1s.(e0Bheided .a+alie( lau)hed? I 6ullshit- Te((y? Ah3+e ni+i( been pit doon in 4a li/e- althou)h an 0id be i/ you 0i( 4a t(aine(- 6illy (eto(ted- loo1in) dis4issi+ely at Te((y?
(3/

That 0is t(ue? ,e 0i( a0 (eally p(oud ay 6illy? 7onnie Allison had 0a(ned hi4 oa/ hin)in aboot 0i usF

d(in1in- .lubbin and /itba- but 6illy didnae )ie a /u.1? The boy 6i((ell hud it? He .ould )ie a pun.h and he .ould ta1e one n a0- no that eh hud tae +e(y o/ten 0i his (e/le9es? I suppose that ah had ta1en it on 4ysel/ to be 6illy3s .ons.ien.e- so I .hipped in? I Na0- that3s (i)ht- you ta1e it easy- 6illy- ah en.ou(a)ed hi4- tu(nin tae Te((y? I Di( no 0antin 6illy tae blo0 ehs .han.es- Jui.e- no /i( the sa1e ay a /e0 s.oops? That3s been the t(ouble 0i this /u.1in b(e1- too 4u.h sau.e- no enou)h hole- ah ad+an.ed? Naebody 0as (eally listenin tae ays thou)h- Te((y and 6illy 0i( loast in the pool- n Gally 0is .he.1in oot the lassies that 0o(1ed behind the ba(? I Jist as 0ell that Hitle( .unt3s no in he(e the ni)ht- ah lau)hed e/ti( 6illy 4issed a st(ipe- I o( the (ad)e 4i)ht t(y tae anne9 this /u.1in table? I ,ee NaEi .unt 0id )it this /u.1in .ue o0e( ehs .hops i/ eh t(ied it- Te((y 0ent- slappin) the /at end intae ehs open pal4? I The pool tables 0ouldnae ha+e been he(e in Hitle(3s day but- 6illy obse(+ed- I that 0is the Dan1s thit b(oat that- e/ti( the 0a(? This /ai(ly )oat ays thin1in? I The thin) is thou)h- ah )oes- I i4a)ine i/ thi( hud been tables in this pla.e 0hin Hitle( 0is he(e- 0hin eh 0is d(in1in in he(e li1es? The .ou(se ay hu4an histo(y 4i)ht3+e .han)ed? Ah 4ean- ye 1en ho0 obsessi+e the .unt 0is- (i)htH :uppose the 0ee /u.1e( pit a0 his ene()ies intae bein) the 4aste( ay the pool table? I Pool/iih(e( Hitle(- Te((y said- )iein the NaEi salute n .li.1in ehs heels the)ithe(? A /e0 Ge(4an .unts at the othe( tables loo1ed (oond- no that he 0is )iein a /u.1? Ah 0isnae eithe(- .ause thi( 0is nae photo)(aphe(s tae bla0 a ha(4less 2o1e up intae a Nu(e4be() (ally? I :e(iously bit- ah )oes- I it3s the 1ind ay )a4e thit su.1s ye in? Loo1 at it anothe( 0ey- ho0 4any potential di.tato(s ha+e been th0a(ted in thi( d(ea4s ay 0o(ld do4ination by a /u.1in pool table in thi( lo.alH Te((y 0isnae listenin) bit- he 0is ad4i(in the 0ait(ess 0hae 0is b(in)in us o0e( anothe( (ound ay d(in1s? They 0i( a0 0ea(in they t(aditional 6a+a(ian out/its- the ones 0hai(e the tits a(e sho(ed up and displayed /o( the boys? I That3s a deli)ht/ul .ostu4e- Te((y sais tae he( as she pits the d(in1s doon? The lassie 2ist )(ins at hi4? Ah didnae li1e the 0ey eh 0is sta(in doon he( .lea+a)e? Ah3+e 0o(1ed in (estau(ants n ba(s n ah hate .unts that thin1 that yi( 2ust
(3)

no0t- yi( 2ist an ob2e.t o( a s1i++y that3s only pit oan this ea(th tae 4eet thei( )(ati/i.ation? ,hen she 0ent a0ay ah )oesF I Dou shut the /u.1 up 2ist )it the /u.1 oot ay he(e 0i yi( deli)ht/ul d(esses? I ,hit the /u.1 a(e you oan abootH Jist passin a .o4pli4ent tae the lassie- Te((y )oes? Ah34 no hu+in that- .ause La0son- one ay the .(udest .unts on God3s Ea(th- has been a bit too hi)h and 4i)hty aboot a0 that NaEi nonsense? That .unt is tae 4o(al and intelle.tual hi)h )(oond 0hat Paul Daniels is tae .o4edy? I Listen- 4an- the lassie3s /o(.ed tae 0ea( that )ea(? It3s no 0hat she3s pi.1ed oot /o( he(sel/? :he3s at the be.1 n .all ay .unts li1e us a0 ni)ht- 0e 0a+e oo( laEy 4itts and she3s (i)ht o0e(? Oan toap ay that she3s a0 t(ussed up li1e that 0i he( tits hin)in) oot 2ist tae /u.1in 0ell please the li1es ay us? I/ the lassie hud3+e pi.1ed the /u.1in th(eads he(sel- then- aye- by a0 4eans )ie he( a )enuine .o4pli4ent- ah34 no sayin no0t a)ainst that- but no 0hen the lassie3s been /o(.ed tae d(ess that 0ey? I Loo1- Te((y said tae ays- I you3+e no hud yi( hole he(e n it3s 4a1in ye nippy? Dinnae /u.1in 0ell ta1e it oot oan i+(ay othe( .unt? The lassie .annae unde(stand a /u.1in 0o(d 0i( sayin any0ey- eh )oes- linin up a shot? Te((y al0ays did hu+ a 0ey ay (edu.in a p(in.ipled stan.e (i)ht doon tae the base d(i+es? I Disnae 4ette( aboot the lan)ua)e- 4an- lassies 1en 0hin thi( bein lee(ed at by so4e /u.1in hal/Bpished .(eep? That3s an inte(national lan)ua)e? =( Out(a)ed o/ :au)hton =ains isnae hu+in it? I Dinnae you sta(t? Dou3+e ni+i( )oat yi( /u.1in hands oa/ lassies 0hin yi( oot ba.1 ha4e? Pa0in .unt? ,hae3s the .(eepy le.he(ous .unt thenH Ehs /a.e t0ists in a..usation as ehs botto4 2a0 shoots oot an e9t(a .ouple ay in.hes? Naebody .an a..use li1e that .unt? :hould3+e been a .(o0n p(ose.uto(? I Di//e(ent- ah )oes- I .ause that3s 0hin ah34 E3d up? Ah3+e ni+i( )oat 4a hands oa/ any .unt then? Ah )it ta.tile ? ? ? it3s the /u.1in E3s? Ah 0is e+en pa0in you( bla.1 +el+et 2ay1it one ni)ht- 4ind? Eh3s i)no(in 4e thou)h- .ause eh3s doon at the table and ehs .ue (uns alon) that 2a0 as the ba03s potted in a s4ooth st(o1e? I3+e )ot tae hand it tae the .unt- he .an play pool? =ind you- a0 the ti4e eh spends oan pool tables in pubs- i/ eh couldnae play thi( 0id be so4ethin) 0(on)? I Loo1 youse- Gally .ut in- I 0i( he(e oan the sni//- lit3s no 1id
(3#

oo(sel+es? Pe(sonally- ah3+e ni+i( sha))ed a Ge(4an bi(d n ah34 no )aun ha4e be/o(e ah3+e done yin- e+en i/ it3s any auld hound? This .unt- he points tae 6illy- I b(ou)ht us he(e unde( /alse p(eten.es? Telt us Ge(4an bi(ds 0i( )antin oan it? ,o(se thin the En)lish- eh )oes? 6illy p(otests at this? I ,ell they 0i( in :pain last

yea(- ah 0is /i)htin thu4 oa/- eh sais? 6illy3s loo1in a bit 4u4py no0 .ause it see4s li1e Jui.e Te((y3s )aunny )ub u4 a)ain? 6illy3s no up tae 4u.h at pool- but eh hates tae lose at anythin)? I Aye- (i)ht- :pain? 6i) /u.1in deal? E+e(y .unt3s )antin oan it in :pain- Gaily s.o//s? I Cou(se? That3s 0hy bi(ds )o thai(- tae )it thi( hole- 0ell- thi( .o.1 ??? bit ye 1en 0hat ah 4ean? It3s di//e(ent 0hen thi( in thi( ain ba.1 ya(d@ the lassies dinnae 0ant tae )it .alled sla)s? Du+ a bette( .han.e ay ba))in oa/ 0i anybody but Ge(4an bi(ds he(e- Te((y )oes? Ah sha1es 4a heid? I It3s no the /u.1in bi(ds- n it3s no the O1tobe(/est? It3s 2ist one bi) /u.1in pi.1Bup 2ointah )oes? I It3s us? ,e3(e the p(oble4? Hu+ tae t(y tae stey oa/ the /u.1in sau.e a bit 4ai(? ,i( no used tae it no0 0i a0 this /u.1in (a+in? N you- 0hat3s up 0i youH Ah tu(ned on 6illy- I Did 7onnie Allison say thit ye 0i(nae allo0ed tae )it yi( hole si9 0ee1s be/o(e a /i)htH Te((y3s (eady tae pot the bla.1? I Did eh /u.1- 6i((ell says? I The (eason ah3+e no )oat 4a hole yit is .ause ah34 stu.1 0i you u)lypishedBup 0an1e(s in to0? Ah lau)hs at this- and Gaily (olls his eyes doubt/ully and e9hales sha(ply- lettin) a /a(tin) sound 0obble out th(ou)h his lips? I Oh- Te((y pouted- dis4issi+ely s4a.1in) the bla.1 ba0 ha4eI ha(1 at /u.1in .untyBba0s 6i((ell thai(e? Hope yi( /u.1in bo9in3s bette( thin yi( pool- 4ate- eh lau)hs? I Na0- it3s t(ue- yi( .(a4pin 4a style- 6illy nods at Te((y3s 4opI the Albe(t CiddB6obby 6all loo13s oot no0adays o( has naebody telt yeH This )its Te((y3s )ande( up a 0ee bit? I 7i)ht then- 0e3ll /u.1in 0ell split up- eh says- a0 b(is1 n .o.1y? I :ee 0hae3s s.o(in the ni)htG Dinnae 0ait up the ni)ht ba.1 at the di)s- he )oes 0i a s0a))e(- hin)in ehs .ue oan the 0a0 (a.1 n do0nin ehs :teine(- I .ause ah34 oan the /u.1in p(o0l- boys- ah 1in tell yis? N it3s )aunny be a loat di//e(ent no0 thit ah34 /(eed /ae a0 this ti(eso4e ba))a)e? He loo1s us up n doon- (aises ehs heid hau)htily- then s1ips oot 0i this 2aunty 0ee /lou(ish?
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I That .unt been oan the speed o( so4ethin)H Chee1y /u.1e( hi4 eh- Gaily 4oans? I :ounds li1e it eh- ah )oes? Gaily3s loo1in a 0ee bit nippy? Eh sha1es ehs head n sta(ts /iddlin 0i ehs ea((in)? De 1en 0hen that .unt3s )oat so4ethin) oan ehs 4ind- the ea((in) )its t0ea1ed a0 the ti4e? :in.e eh pa.1ed in the /a)s? I Eh shouldnae be a.tin that 0ey 0i 8i+ ba.1 ha4e thai(e- Gaily )oes? I Git a0ay- Gaily- 6illy lau)hs? I It3s di//e(ent 0hen yi( oan hoaliday? It3s $$0 ya (ad)e- no "$0? I An/o(tunately- ah )oes- n 6illy )la(es at ays? Gaily 2ist sha1es ehs heid ste(nly? I Na0- 6illy- it3s oot ay o(de(? :he3s a ni.e lassie- too )ood /o( that /at /u.1e(? Jist li1e Lu.y 0is be/o(e he(? 6illy n 4e loo1 at ea.h othe(? It 0isnae e9a.tly easy tae a()ue 0i the .unt oan this point? The thin) is- boys )it the bi(ds they )it- no the ones that they dese(+e? I Ah 4ean- Gaily .ontinues- I it3s a0(i)ht /i( us- 0e3(e /(ee a)ents? I 6illy isnae a /(ee a)ent- Gaily- eh3s steyin 0i Anthea- ah (e4ind the ,ee =an? I Aye- 6illy says doubt/ully? I Is it /iEElin oot a bit 0i you n he( then- 6illyH Gaily as1s? I Ni+i( (eally /iEEled in that 4u.h in the /i(st pla.e- eh sais? Ah noti.ed eh 0isnae 0i he( up at Fluid a .ouple ay 0ee1s ba.1- n ah34 su(e eh said so4ethin aboot he( steyin lon)e( doon in London? I Aye- Gaily )oes@ I a0(i)ht- but you dinnae bo(e e+e(y .unt aboot yi( (elationships- 6illy? Nae .unt he(e does? Te((y3s di//e(ent? Only a /e0 0ee1s a)o- eh3s )aun oan aboot ho0 spe.ial it 0is 0i he(? ,e3+e hud tae listen tae a0 this shite /i( a)esF 8i+ian this- 8i+ian that? 3Ah lo+e 0ee 8i++y?3 6ullshit? I Te((y3s Te((y- ah sh(u)s- tu(nin ba.1 tae Gaily? I Di3ll stoap the Pope /ae p(aye( be/o(e yi3ll stoap that .unt 0antin tae )it ehs hole? Gally )oes tae spea1 but ah .a((y oan o0e( u4- I Ah li1e 8i+- n aye- ah thin1 it3s oot ay o(de(- but it3s thai( business? ,hat )its 4e is the 0ey eh uses the p(e/i9 30ee3 e+e(y ti4e eh 4entions a lassie3s na4e? It3s /u.1in pat(onisin? 6ut as /a( as hi4 n 8i+ )oes- li1e ah sais- it3s thai( business? I Inte(nal a//ai(s- 6illy s4iles? I Eh3s a bad boy- bit 0i a0 a(e )i+en the .han.e? Thi(3s naebody he(e thit 1in say thit thu+ ey0is done (i)ht by a bi(d?
(3*

Gally nods- .on.edin the point- but the 0ee .unt3s no happy? The /in)e(s3+e )one up tae that lobe a)ain? This spe.1y student boy3s sti.1in) /lie(s on the tablesF a bi)- s1inny- /ai(Bheided laddie 0i )oldB(i44ed )lesses pe(.hed oan a sha(p bea1? It3s /unny ho0 4any Ge(4ans unde( /o(ty 0ea( )lesses@ na4ely- i+(ay /u.1in one ay the .unts? Dou3d thin1 it 0ould be the aulde( /u.1e(s li1esF 3I ne+e( sa0 anythin)- I 4ean- loo1 at 4y eyesG3 6ut na0- it3s a0 the youn) .unts? I loo1 at the /lie( eh puts in /(ont ay 4e? It3s a pa(ty ni)ht- /o( the 4o(n@ the sa4e one that boy 7ol/ 0is )iein oot?

Ah )ets tal1in tae the boy- and ah buys u4 a pint? ,ol/)an)- eh3s .alled? Ah tell hi4 about the day and eh says- I It is a s4all 0o(ld- 7ol/ is 4y best /(iend? ,e ha+e this pla.e 0hi.h is )ood to han) out in? Dou and you( /(iends should .o4e ba.1 and 0e .an all s4o1e hashish? I :ounds )ood tae 4e- ah say- but 6illy n Gally a(enae ta1in that 4u.h inte(est? This .han)es at .hu.1inB oot ti4e- and 0ee Gally 0ants tae .a((y oan? 6illy loo1s a bit dubious- no doubt thin1in aboot ehs (un the 4o(n? Gally loo1s at 4e and sh(u)s? I Ni.e tae be ni.e- eh sais? ,e head out the pub and do0n the (oad- .han)in) /(o4 AB6ahn to :B6ahn? It3s about t0entyB/i+e 4inutes oan this t(ain? ,hen 0e )et o//- 0e see4 to be 0al1in) do0n the (oad /o( a)es? It3s li1e 0e3(e in an auld toon that3s been eaten up by the subu(bs? I ,he(e a(e 0e )aun he(e- 4ateH Gally as1s- then tu(ns tae 4e n 4oansI this is a lon) 0ay tae .o4e tae hin) oot in Co(sto(phine? I No- ,ol/)an) )oes- ehs lon) le)s 4a1in bi) st(ides doon the (oad- I 0e a(e not /a(? Follo0 ? ? ?- eh (epeats- I /ollo0 ? ? ? Gally lau)hs? I Di( a /u.1in Hun a0(i)ht- 4ate- then eh sta(ts sin)in- I /a0Blo0- /a0Bha0Blo0 ??? 0e 0ill /ollo0 ,ol/)an)- e+e(y0he(e- any0he(e ? ? ? Fo(tunately- it see4s al4ost i4possible to insult this ,ol/)an) boy? Eh loo1s a0 deadpan- no unde(standin) 0hat the /u.1 the 0ee .unt3s oan aboot- 4a(.hin) alon) at speed- us st(u))lin) tae 1eep up 0i hi4? E+en 6i((ell- /o( /u.1 sa1e- and eh didnae hu+ that 4u.h tae d(in1? =aybe eh3s .onse(+in) ene()y /i( ehs (un? I 0as thin1in) this pla.e 0ould be a po1ey 0ee /lat? It tu(ns oot tae be a hu)e- (a4blin)- subu(ban +illastandin) in its ain )(oonds? 6est o/ all- one (oo4 has t0in de.1s- a 4i9e(- and a load ay (e.o(ds? I :ound )a//4ate? I Des- ,ol/)an) e9plains- 4y /athe( and 4othe(- they a(e di+o(.in)? =y /athe( li+es in :0itEe(land and 4y 4othe( in Ha4bu()?
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:o I34 sellin) this pla.e /o( the4? Only I a4 ta1in) 4y ti4e- yesH eh

s4iles slyly?
J Ah3ll bet ye a(e- 4ate- 6i((ell says- loo1in) a(ound a0 i4p(essed- as 0e .(ash oot in this bi) de.1s (oo4sittin oan so4e beanba)s- loo1in oot o0e( a patio 0i plants- intae a bi)- ba.1 )ai(din? Ah34 st(ai)ht oan the de.1s- spinnin a /e0 tunes? Thi(3s a )ood sele.tion he(e@ 4aistly Eu(ote.hno stu// ah3+e no hea(d ay- but one o( t0o Chi.a)o House and e+en so4e old Donna :u44e( .lassi.s? Ah pit oan so4e C(a/t0e(1- a 5ui(1y t(a.1 o// Trans,+uro +-!ress. ,ol/)an) loo1s oan app(o+in)ly? Eh does this 0an1y 0ee dan.e- 0hi.h Gally- sittin oan a 0hite beanba)sni))e(s at- and 6i((ell s4iles as 0ell? The ,ol/)an)3s no )iein a /u.1 but? I This is )ood? Dou a(e a dee2ay ba.1 in :.otland- yesH I The best? Gally .uts in- NB:IGN? ,ol/)an) s4iles- I I too li1e to play- but I a4 not so )ood? The(e 4ust be 4o(e o/ the playin) ??? the p(a.ti.e ? ? ? then- eh points tae hi4sel/- I )ood? Ah bet that3s bullshit n the .unt3s e9.ellent? Eh doesnae see4 tae need the 4oney- the spoilt (i.h /u.1e(- so ye bet eh3s ne+e( oa/ the de.1s? 6ut eh3s b(ou)ht us oot he(e- so /ai( /anny3s tae the boy? No0 0e3(e )ettin) a 0ee tou( o/ the hoose? It3s a ba((y )a//- /ill ay spa(e (oo4s? Eh tells us that eh3s )ot t0o 0ee siste(s n t0o 0ee b(othe(s- n thi( a0 in Ha4bu() 0i ehs 4a? The doo(bell (in)s and ,ol/)an) )oes tae ans0e( it- lea+in us upstai(s? I A..eptable- =( E0a(tH Gally as1s? I =ost palatial- =( Gallo0ay? I Ah34 2ust /u.1in (elie+ed that Jui.e Te((y3s no he(e- the .unt 0ould3+e .leaned the pla.e oot by no0? Gally lau)hs- I Eh3d ha+e hud Ale. Connolly o+e( /ae Dai(y 0i the +anG The /(ont (oo4 is b(illiant- oa1Bpanelled- /u(nished oldeB0o(lde style? It3s li1e one ay they (oo4s that ye see so4e plu44yB+oi.ed t0at sittin in- 0hen they3(e bein) inte(+ie0ed on 66C 2 o( Channel !- 2ust as you3(e sta))e(in) in pished? They3(e usually tellin) us ho0 0e3(e s.u4- o( ho0 b(illiant thei( 4ates a(e? 3In so4e 0ays Hitle( .ould be te(4ed the /i(st postB4ode(nist? He should be (e.lai4ed as su.h- as 0e3(e al(eady sta(tin) to do 0ith 6enny Hill?3 Hitle(? Heil Hitle(? I 0as so /u.1in stupid? D(un1 and /a(tin) about 0ith the boys /(o4
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the old Last Fu(lon) bus- in a 0ee t(ip do0n 4e4o(y lane? :o4e a(sehole 0ith a .a4e(a 0o(1in) as a /(eelan.e (e.o)nised 4e /ae this a(ti.le in the 4usi. p(ess- on the .lub? He as1ed i/ 0e 0e(e /as.ists and a .ouple o/ us did the John Cleese thin) as a pissBta1e? I 0as stupid? :tupid no tae (ealise that they .an be as 3i(oni.3 as they li1e- but s.he4ies a(e ne+e( allo0ed to

be the sa4e? E+en i/ it3s 0hat 0e )(e0 up on- only 0e 2ust .alled it ta1in) the piss? 6ut /u.1 that- this (oo43s bi))e( than 4a auld 4an n auld )i(l3s auld .oun.il pla.e and thi( ne0 6abe(ton =ains shoeboa9 pit the)ithe(? No0 7ol/3s in 0i his )i(l/(iend G(et.hen and these th(ee othe( lassies@ ElsaGud(un and =a(.ia? Gally3s so un.ool 0hen eh /an.ies a bi(d- it3s li1e ehs eyes 2ist )o /lyin) oot ehs heid- n ye .an tell that eh3s 4ental oan that Gud(un lassie? 6ut a0 these lassies loo1 )(eat- thi(3s no0t tae .hoose bet0een any ay the4? It3s that 0allBtaeB0all e//e.t ay .lass /anny en masse that 2ust bla0s ye a0ay? Ah /eel as i/ ah34 st(u))lin) tae be .ool- but at least 6i((ell beha+es 0i so4e di)nity- )ettin) up and sha1in e+e(ybody3s hand? Thi(3s so4e 2oints ay )(ass and hash oan the )o- and 0e a0 ha+e a )ood pu//- e9.ept /o( 6i((ell- 0ho politely de.lines? This st(an)ely i4p(esses the lassies? Ah e9plain that 6illy3s )ot a /i)ht .o4in) up? I 6o9in) ??? is that not +e(y dan)e(ousH 6i((ell3s )ot his line /o( su.h o..asions? I It is ??? /o( anybody da/t enou)h tae )et intae the (in) 0ith 4e? ,e all lau)h- and Gally does the 0an1e( si)n? 6illy )i+es a .u(t- 4o.1 sel/Bdep(e.atin) bo0? Ah34 t(yin tae 0o(1 oot 0hae3s sha))in) 0hae- so ah3ll no step oan any taes by a..ident? As i/ (eadin) 4y 4ind- this =a(.ia lassie says- I I a4 ,ol/)an)3s )i(l/(iend? I stay he(e 0ith hi4? I34 deli)hted aboot that- .ause- on .lose( e9a4ination- this lassie see4s a bit st(ai)hte( and 4o(e se+e(e than the othe(s? I 1no0 the one .alled G(et.hen is 7ol/3s bi(d- I 4et he( ea(lie(? That lea+es Gud(un and Elsa? As the ni)ht 0ea(s oan ah )et a +ibe aboot that =a(.ia@ ah dinnae thin1 she 5uite app(o+es ay us? :pe.i/i.ally- she3s no 1een oan Gallo0ay- 0ho3s )ettin) a bit loud? I =uni.h3s )(eat- it3s di//e(ent /ae Edinbu()h- eh (ants- I n 1en ho0H It3s .ause the olde( .unts- eh- the aulde( people n that- a(e 4u.h ni.e(? Then eh sta(ts spea1in in Ge(4an- and they .an unde(stand the 0ee /u.1e( n a0? I 6ullshitG ah shout? I Na0 Ca(l- eh )oes? I De dinnae )et they 0ide /i/tyByea(Bauld
(/1

basta(ds in P(in)le 2e(seys thit ye see in Leith pubs- the ones thit ey0is 0ant tae pul+e(ise youn) .unts intae to4atay pu(ee 2ist .ause these /u.1e(s u(nae t0inty any 4ai(? Eh ta1es the 2oint /ae 4e and shuts up tae ta1e a pull? I =ind you- neithe( a(e 0e? A 5ua(te( ay a .entu(y- that3s us no0? Fu.1in an.ient? Eh3s (i)ht- it 4a1es 4e shudde( tae thin1 aboot it? =ind you- 4a auld 4an sais 3on.e ye hit t0entyBei)htthat3s you had it3- so it )ies us a bit ay ti4e yit? Thin)s ha+e .han)ed a lot (e.ently@ 0e dae ou( ain thin) 4ai(? Gally and Te((y still hin) aboot a lot the)ithe( th(ou)h still steyin in the s.he4e? ,ell- Gally dosses in this /lat in Go()ie- but it3s 4ainly 2ist a )i(o n (entB.he5ue d(op add(ess n eh3s ne+e( a0ay /ae the auld bit? =e and 6illy see 5uite a bit ay ea.h othe(- usually (oond the .lubs? ,e3(e to0n boys these days- so ah tend tae hin) oot 0i 6illy 4ai(? Ou( auld 4en a(e 4ates- they 0o(1ed the)ithe(- so it 0as li1e ou( /(iendship 0as so(t ay p(eB o(dained? Ah still lap Gally up the 4aist (eally- e+en i/ eh does piss ays oa/ 0hen eh .o4es intae the .lub? Eh se(+es up pills- 0hi.h ah dinnae 4ind u4 daein- but so4eti4es the 5uality isnae that )ood- n it /u.1s up the ni)ht? N so4eti4es eh isnae +e(y dis.(eet? Te((y3s a teaBlea/- it3s a di//e(ent 0o(ld- eh3s )oat ehs ain net0o(1s? ,e3(e still .lose but- thou)h 4aybe no as 4u.h as be/o(e? Aye- the 4a(.h ay ti4e n the 0ey thin)s .han)e? 6ut /u.1 a0 that@ no0 is the ti4e /o( /eastin) and (e2oi.in) and the de/lo0e(in) o/ beauti/ul 4aidens ? ? ? 0e 0ish? God- that Elsa n Gud(un ? ? ? but 7ol/3s bi(d G(et.hen ? ? ? aye- thi(3s no 4u.h tae .hoose bet0een the4? That3s it 0hen you see a load ay /it lassies the)ithe(- it3s the .u4ulati+e e//e.t? It ta1es ye a 0hile tae pi.1 oot the di//e(en.es? Ah34 t(yin tae be .ool- be.ause ah hate 4a1in a .unt o/ 4asel/ in /(ont ay bi(ds- and it3s easy done on al.ohol? Ah34 thin1in) that this 0ould be the pla.e tae dae so4e se(ious sha))in 0i a tidy bit ay /anny (i)ht enou)h? Ah .ould hole up he(e /i( a /e0 days 0i one ay they 0ee Ge(4an dolls- )it a0ay /ae 4y de4andin) .ollea)ues /o( a bit- espe.ially =( Gallo0ay 0ho see4s up and do0n li1e a yoByo? A hu)e bla.1 .at3s .o4e intae the (oo4? Gally 0is st(o1in it /i( a bit- no0 it sits oan the a(4 o/ a .hai(loo1in at 6i((ell- sta(in at hi4? He3s )iein it the bo9e(3s sta(e ba.1? =a(.ia 4o+es o+e( to it- shoutin so4ethin) in Ge(4an- and it (uns a0ay- 2u4pin) oot the 0indae? Then she tu(ns to us and says- I A di(ty st(ay? I That3s nae 0ay tae tal1 aboot Gally- ah )oes- and a /e0 ah the4
(/(

)et it and lau)h? ,ol/)an) )oes- I Des- I should not be )i+in) hi4 the /eed? He sp(ays the piss 0hen he .o4es in? I No0 I a4 ti(ed- this =a(.ia suddenly says- (ollin) he( eyes? I Dou 4ust all stay he(e- ,ol/)an) slu(s- ehs eyes a0 hooded? This .unt3s 0ell stoned? =a(.ia shoots hi4 a loo1 but eh doesnae .at.h it? I :tay /o( the 0hole 0ee1 i/ you li1e? The(e is lots o/ (oo4- eh )oes- 0a+in) the 2oint a(oond? Da beautyG That =a(.ia says so4ethin) in Ge(4an tae hi4- then she puts oan this dead /alse s4ile and tu(ns tae us? I

Dou a(e on holiday- and you a(e not 0antin) to be tied do0n to us- she )oes? I Na0- ah )oes- I it3s been )(eat- honest? Douse a(e the ni.est people 0e3+e 4et- ah say- a0 stoned? I Eh GallyH I Aye- n no 2ist he(e? ,he(e+e( 0e3+e been- eh .oos- loo1in sta(st(u.1 at Gud(un n Elsa? I N that3s )en? Ah loo1 o0e( at 6i((ell- 0ho3s sayin no0t as usual? I I/ it3s no p(oble4 0i youse it 0ould be )(eat- ah )oes? I Then it is settled- ,ol/)an) )oes- loo1in .u(tly at =a(.ia- as i/ tae say- This is ma /ol1s )a//- 4indH I =a)i.- Gally says- nae doubt thin1in ay the dosh he3ll sa+e? 6illy3s loo1in 4u4py but? I ,e3+e 2ist 0ent n )oat settled? N thi(3s Te((y tae thin1 aboot? I 7i)ht ??? ah 0is t(yin tae /o()et that .unt ??? ah tu(ns tae ,ol/)an) n =a(.ia? I It3s (eally 1ind ay ye- and 0e3d be deli)hted tae stey 0i youse? The(e3s anothe( one o/ us thou)h- ah e9plains? I One 4o(e is no p(oble4- ,ol/)an) says? =a(.ia 4a1es nae atte4pt tae hide he( e9aspe(ation? :he bla0s oot so4e ai( and heads a0ay- hands /lyin)tal1in) in Ge(4an- sla44in) the doo( behind he(? ,ol/)an) )i+es us a .ouldnaeB.a(eBless loo1 a..o4panied by a stoned sh(u)? I :he is 2ust a little upti)ht on this day? G(et.hen loo1s at ,ol/)an) 4is.hie+ously- I ,ol/)an)- you 4ust be /o( )i+in) he( 4o(e se9? ,ol/)an)- .o4pletely .ool- )oes- I I a4 t(yin) but 4aybe I a4 s4o1in) too 4u.h dope to be +e(y )ood at the /u.1in)? E+e(ybody sta(ts heeBha0in) in stoned lau)hte(- 0ell al4ost e+e(ybody? 6i((ell 4ana)es a sli)ht s4ile /o( a /e0 se.onds? ,hat an i4p(ession tae )ie .unts ay :.ottish people? :till- it 2ust 4a1es 4e n Gally t(y a0 the ha(de(? I 6(illiantG Deuts.hland Obe( Alles- ah )oes- (aisin 4a bottle?
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E+e(ybody but 6i((ell toasts- n eh shoots 4e that bo9e(3s loo1- 0hi.h is useless th(ou)h this stoned haEe? ,e3(e a0 /u.1ed thou)h- and (eady tae tu(n in? 7ol/ and lassies lea+e and Gally3s )iein the4 the eyeb(o0 as they depa(t? I :ee yis the 4o(n- )i(ls- eh slu(s? 6i((ell see4s ed)y- p(obably the /i)ht- but eh )ets up and does ehs handsha1in) (outine a)ain? ,e )et ou( billets? 6i((ell n Gally )o into this one (oo4? It3s a boys3 (oo4 0i t0o beds? Ah34 ne9t doo( in the 0ee lassies3 (oo4- and it see4s li1e I34 )onnae be sha(in) 0ith Te((y- as thi(3s t0o sin)le beds? Gas 4as1 ti4e? Ah pi.1 the bed nea(est the 0indae and slip oa/ 4a .lathes and slide unde( the sheets? They3(e that /(esh and .lean- ye3d be s.a(ed tae e+en hu+ a 0an1 n the4? Ah .an i4a)ine that =a(.ia 2ust li1e the4@ a0 sti// and .ool? Ah34 e+en )ittin 0o((ied aboot s0eatin- /i( /u.1 sa1es? Ah 4ind ay thin1in in they hotels that it3s a lon) ti4e sin.e ah3+e slept in a bed 0i sheets n blan1ets (athe( thin a du+et? No0 ah34 in anothe( yin? ,i 4a lu.1- ah3ll be spun1in the sheets (i)ht up 0i a te.hni.olo( 0et d(ea4? E+en thou)h ah /eel a 0ee bit li1e one ay they .unts in a hauntedBhoose ho((o( 4o+ie- ah34 totally /u.1ed n ah d(i/t oa/ intae a deep sleep? &nd here ah ahm in the doc3 and thir a% thaire, accusing ays, !ointin the finger. 8uice Terry*s standin u!, loo3in o%er tae the !rosecutor, %ho loo3s li3e "c9aren, the manager ay hud %hin ah %or3ed in the furniture manufacturing %arehoose. The cunt %ho accused ays ay bein a fascist cause ay that da: salute that a!!eared in the 7e.o(d %hen %e %ound the !hotogra!her boy u! ootside The Tree, !retendin %e %ir 8ohn Cleese oot ay Fa0lty To0e(s? Terry*ll !it the cunts right aboot ays. # Carl +%art.. . I can*t defend his beha(iour, eh shrugs. I We*(e all made mista3es in the !ast, but for +%art to !ublicly align himself to a regime %hich !ractised genocide on a systematic scale . . . it*s fran3ly unforgi(able. Birrell gits u!. I L %ould as3 that the full !enalty of this %ar crimes commission be (isited u!on the 8ambo cunt, eh sneers, before turning tae me and %his!ering, # orry, Carl. There*s a faint noise comin fae the gallery . . . Then the 5udge comes intae ma (ision. It*s fuc3in Blac3ie n a%, the housemaster fae the school . .. The noise is gittin louder though. Blac3ie bangs ehs hammer oan the des3. Then Gally gits u!, and eh*s o%er beside ays in the doc3. # .uc3 a% youse cunts, eh shouts, I Carl*s fuc3in sound4 Who the fuc3 ur youse cunts tae 5udge anybody; W$0 T$+ .'C<I2 $+99 &/+ Y0' +4;4
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2 ah 3in see Terry n Billy changin thir minds no%, n the chant*s gaun u!, n %e*re a% standin thegither. Thir*s a mob ay faces fae the gallery, $ibs n $erts n /angers n &berdeen n %ir a% singin W$0 T$+ .'C<I2 $+99 &/+ Y0' at the bench and first thir loo3in angry, then %orried, then thir retreatin= the 5udges, the teachers, the bosses, the councillors, the !oliticians, the businessmen ... thir a% runnin oot the court. . . Blac3ie*s the last tae go . . . # Do you see the mentality of this scum, eh shouts, but it*s drooned oot by oor laughter. ..

. . . /u.1in b(illiant d(ea4 ? ? ? the best one ah3+e hud? Ah 0a1e up but- bu(stin /i( a pish? Ah )et up and )o oot intae the hall0ay? It3s as da(1 as /u.1? =uh bladde(3s bu(stin n ah .annae /ind a bo)? Ah .annae e+en /ind a /u.1in li)ht- .annae 0o(1 oot 0he(e ah34 )aun? Ah (uns 4a hand alon) this 0a0 until it hits a doo( /(a4e- and the doo( itsel/ is sli)htly a2a( so ah slide th(ou)h the spa.e intae the (oo4? It3s no a bo) thou)h- ah 1en that 4u.h- thou)h ah 1in ha(dly 4a1e oot anythin) ? ? ? Oooohhh/u.1in.untthatyea(e ah34 )aunny pass oot n pish 4asel Then ah nea(ly t(ips o0e( so4ethin) oan the /lai( n ah thin1 ah34 de/initely (uptu(ed no0- but ah )(it 4a teeth- .(ou.h doon n see that it3s a ba) ay so4e 1ind? Ah pills 4a pants a0ay /ae 4a .o.1- ba0s n a.hin bladde( n ah 2ist pish n pish n pish intae it- n ah hope thit it3ll no seep oot bit the ba) see4s 0ate(p(oo/? Ah dunno 0hat3s in it- but /u.1in hell ??? a0 ??? /u.1 o()as4s and d(u) hi)hs- this is the best /eelin in the 0o(ld- tae ha+e this pain ta1en a0ayG Ah /inish in )(ate/ul (elie/ as the pain subsides n the (oo4 .o4es 4ai( intae de/inition? Thi(3s t0o beds 0i so4e .unts /ast asleep in the4? Ah dinnae stoap tae /ind oot 0hae it is- ah nip s0i/tly and silently ba.1 oot and intae 4a ain (oo4 n )it unde( the sheets n ah34 ba.1 in the land ay nod in nae ti4e?

Contin9en'# +lannin9
Ah )its up in the 4o(nin and i44ediately .lo.1 thit the bo) 0is (i)ht ne9t doo( oan the othe( side- bit ah /u.1in 4issed it? :o /u.1in 0hat- unless you3(e .au)ht (edBhanded- /in)e(s in the till- you ha+e tae deny a0 1no0led)e? The sho0e(3s e9.ellent and hi)hBte.h /o( su.h an auld )a// n ah stey unde( it /o( a lon) ti4e- littin the 2ets pu44el ays a0a1e- then ah d(y o// and )it d(essed then head doonstai(s? Gally3s al(eady
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up- sittin oot oan the patio o+e(loo1in a bi) )ai(din? It3s a 4isty 4o(nin thou)h n 0i .annae see 4u.h? Thi(3s nae si)n ay 6i((ell yet? I Good 4o(nin) =( Gallo0ay- ah )oes- =o(nin)side teaB(oo4 style? I =( E0a(tG eh )oes ba.1 in the sa4e +oi.e- the .unt see4s on the up a)ain- I ho0 )oes it- 4y /ine /ello0H Ho03s the .apital )ad)ie this 4o(nin)H I E9.ellent =( G? ,hai(e3s :e.(et :5ui((elH ,hat3s happened tae the bi) /it spo(ts4an thenH Eh3s no still )oat the hu4p 0i us /o( so(tin u4 oot so4e /(ee di)s- hus ehH ah lau)hs? I Thoat he3d be up in the t(ees loo1in /i( nuts? I Playin 0i ehs nuts in ehs /u.1in s.(at.he( ah bet- the laEy .unt- Gally lau)hs? I Couldnae 0a1e the /u.1e( up? :o4e spo(ts4anG Ah sta(ts tae tell Gally aboot 4a d(ea4? D(ea4s a(e /unny .unts- nae doubt aboot that? Ah3+e (ead a lot about the4- /(o4 pop psy.holo)y tae F(eudbut naebody 1ens /o( su(e? That3s 0hat ah hate 4ost aboot the 0o(ld? Too 4any t0ats sayin this is ho0 it is? This is ho0 it is for thaim, they 4ean? ,he(e3s the /u.1in doubtH ,he(e3s the /u.1in hu4ility in the /a.e ay the 0ond(ous .o4ple9ity ay this )(eat .os4i. uni+e(seH I :ounds a load ay shite tae 4e- eh lau)hs- but ah thin1 eh3s .hu//ed thit he .a4e oot the best in it? I 6ut you 4ust hu+ so4e 0ei(d d(ea4s n a0 ya .unt- ah sais tae u4 as 6illy .o4es out ontae the bal.ony? Gally sha1es ehs heid? I Na0- ah ni+i( d(ea4- eh )oes? 6illy3s loo1in (eally an)(y n eh3s hudin up a 0et t(a.1suit? Ah de.ide tae ta.ti.ally i)no(e 6illy /o( a bit? Gally husnae seen u4 yit? ,hat Gally says sounds li1e a load ay shite tae 4e? E+e(y .unt d(ea4s? I De 4ust /u.1in d(ea4 Gally- ye 2ist .annae 4ind ay it- 4ibbe .ause yi( a deep sleepe( n that- ah tell u4? I Nup? Ah3+e ni+i( d(ea4t- eh sais- sha1in ehs held? The .unt3s hu+in nane ay it? I E+en as a 0ee laddieH I No sin.e ah 0is a 1id? I ,hat did ye d(ea4 ay thenH I Ah .annae 4ind- 2ist da/t stu//- eh )oes- loo1in o0e( the )ai(din as the 4ist sta(ts tae .lea(? 6illy3s .a((yin) the soa1in) 0et t(a.1suit n (unnin shoes by his /in)e(tips- hudin the4 oot /ae hi4? Eh3s )oat this spo(tsba) tu(ned inside oot? Eh 0(in)s the4 oot /o( a bit? Eh3s loo1in) 0ell nippy as eh hin)s the d(ippin t(a.1suit o0e( the bal.ony? Ah /eel 4asel sh(in1in doon in the seat?
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I Gallo0ay- did you pish oan 4a t(a.1suit last ni)htH I ,hat3s a0 this- 6illyH Gally as1s? 6illy 0(in)s oot the le)s ay the t(a.1y botto4s a)ain? I Ah hud tae 0ash oot a0 the (unnin .lathes in 4a ba)? They 0i( soa1ed n they 0i( bo))in- it 0is li1e so4e .unt hud pished o0e( thu4- eh sais- lo0e(in) ehs +oi.e? # It3ll be that .at th(ou)h thai(- that /ilthy ba) ay shite? This is b(utal? I/ it .o4es nea( 4e it3s )ittin tanned- ah3ll tell yis that /o( no0t?

I ,e3(e en2oyin thi( hospitality- Gally )oes? I Dinnae sta(t )ittin a0 0ide 0i /ol1- 6illy? I Ah34 no )ittin 0ide 0i anybody? De3d 1en a0 aboot it i/ ah 0is )ittin 0ide? =a /u.1in t(a.1y ? ? ? it3s /u.1in despe(ate? J N 0e3ll ha+e tae pey the4 ba.1- hu+ thai4 o0e( tae Edinbu()h- ah )oes? Gally )oes- I Aye- tae the s.he4e? Thi3ll /u.1in 0ell lap that up- (i)ht enou)h? I Na0- ah )oes? I Ah3+e )oat 4a )a//- 6illy3s )oat his? Thi(3ll be plenty (oo4? I A0 aye- you n 6illy3+e )oat yi( ni.e .ity pads? Ho0 .ould ah /o()et thatH eh snee(s? I And I did not piss oan yi( p(e.ious /u.1in t(a.1suit- eh tu(ns tae 6illy? Ah 2ist (aise 4a eyes- 6illy does n a0? This isnae li1e Gally? I Fu.1in hell- ah )oes- I you t0o3+e )oat (i)ht oot ay the 0(on) side ay bed this 4o(nin? Ah34 al4ost loo1in /o(0a(d tae seein Jui.e Te((y a)ain? ,ol/)an) and =a(.ia .o4e th(ou)h? They3+e )oat so4e b(ea1/ast the)ithe( ben the 1it.hen? I Good 4o(nin) 4y /(iends ? ? ? ho0 a(e youH ,ol/)an) )oes? I Jist 1eep that .at oot 4a (oad- 6illy sais? I I a4 so((y ? ? ? 0hat has happenedH Gally tells hi4 the sto(y? I I a4 so((y- he (epeats? I :o ye should be- 6i((ell )oes? Gally nud)es hi4? I ,ell- 4a t(a.1suit ? ? ? I3+e )oat tae 1eep t(aininGally? Ah need tae dae at least /i+e 4iles a day? ,e )et ou( b(ea1/ast and a)(ee that 0e3ll stay /o( the 0ee1? To be 5uite /(an1- Gally and I 0e(e e4ba((assed by 6i((ell3s 4oanin)- thin1in) that he 0ould be the last yin tae let the side doon? ,e head out ba.1 tae the hotel to )et ou( ba)s? Gally and I open the doo( on
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Te((y3s (oo4- and he3s lyin) on the bed .hannelBhoppin)- but he see4s /u(ti+e be/o(e he sees it3s us? I Distu(b ye hu+in a 0an1 thai(e- TeEEoH ah as1s? A deli.ious s4ile plays a.(oss the .unt3s 4ooth as eh (aises ehs eyeb(o0s? BBBBB :o4e ay us dinnae need tae handle oo( .o.1s tae shoot spun1- son? :o4e ay us 1in )it othe( people tae dae it /i( us? I ,ho 0is the un/o(tunate /elly ye peyed- n ho0 4u.h did eh .oast yeH Gally as1ed? Ou( dea( =( La0son )ies Gally the type ay )lan.e a )ate.(ashin) .o44unityB.a(e 2a1ey 0ould )it at a .heeseBandB0ine pa(ty? I Aye- 0ell he 0is a she n yis3ll 4eet he( late(? 6ut spea1in ay /u.1in poo/s- 0hai(e hu+ youse .unts beenH Cosy 0ee th(eeso4eH ,e telt hi4 aboot the )a// and 0onde(ed 0hethe( eh 0ould be up /o( it? At /i(st he 0isnae too su(e@ eh3d pilled this bi(d n eh 0is 4eant tae be seein eh( late( oan? Also- Te((y3s step/aithe( 0is Ge(4an and he hated the .unt- so by e9tension he hated a0 Ge(4ans- e9.ept ones 0i /annies? That 0is the 0ey the .unt3s 4ind tended tae 0o(1? ,hin 0i 4entioned the 0o(ds 3bi) hoose3 n 3(entB/(ee3 the basta(d3s attitude .han)ed p(etty /u.1in sha(pish but? I :ounds no bad bit- 4ai( dosh tae spend oan d(in1 n that eh? As lon) as it3s no too /a( oot? :o4e ay us3+e )oat sha))in duties tae attend tae in the .ity? 6i((ell3s )ittin nippy 0i a0 this poo/3s tal1? This /i)ht 4ust be oan ehs 4ind? In the past it ne+e( see4ed tae bothe( hi4 but? Eh 0is ey0is dead phle)4ati. aboot thin)s? No no0 but? I Dou said ye li1ed this hotelTe((y? Ah3+e 0ent n )oat settled he(e no0- eh 4oans- b(e1in intae a ya0n? I Ni+i( 4ind 8ilhel4- Te((y )oes- ne+e( yin tae see a )ood thin) passed up? I C34oan- lit3s )it pa.1ed n .he.1 oot ay this doss? I Ah need tae sa+e so4e .ash- 6illy- Gally pleads- tu(nin) they bi) la4ps ontae 6i((ell? I 7i)ht then- .34oan- he .on.edes- (isin) /(o4 the bed? Poo( 6illy loo1s 1na.1e(ed? This .han)e in (outine (eally see4s tae ha+e 1no.1ed the .unt oot ay 1ilte(? As 0e3(e )ettin) ou( )ea( pa.1ed ;a)ain<- he pulls 4e aside? I ,i3ll need tae hu+ a 0o(d 0i La0son aboot beha+in ehsel at this boy3s )a//? Ah dinnae 0ant tae hu+ the e4ba((ass4ent ay sea(.hin the (ad)e /o( pie.es ay sil+e(0a(e e+e(yti4e 0i )o oot? Ah3d been thin1in aboot this n a0? I Eh3ll su(ely no ta1e the piss- the boy3s hospitality n that- ah .onside( 0a(ily- I but yi( (i)ht- 0i3ll 4onito( the situation? The .unts at the hotel 0e(e /a( /ae pleased 0hen 0e telt the4 that
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0e 0i( .he.1in oot a 0ee1 ea(ly? I Dou boo1ed /o( t0o 0ee1s- the 4ana)e( )oes? I T0o 0ee1s- eh (epeats- hudin up t0o /in)e(s? I Aye- .han)e ay plan but eh? Goat tae be /u.1in /le9ible- 4ate- Te((y 0in1s- pullin) ehs (u.1sa.1 ontae ehs shoodi(? I That3s a 0ee lesson tae youse .unts- that3s ho0 yis /u.1ed up in the 0a(? :o4eti4es ye )oat tae .han)e the plan- ta1e ad+anta)e ay the ne0 situ that a(ises? Contin)en.y /u.1in plans but- eh? The 4ana)e( /elly isnae a4used at a0? Eh3s a bi) /at (uddyB/a.ed .unt 0i sil+e(- sli.1edBba.1 hai( n )lesses? Eh3s d(essed in a s4e(t 2ay1it n tie? Loo1s 4ai( li1e one ay 4a auld 4an3s 4ates /ae the Go()ie 6=C .lub oan

a F(iday ni)ht thin eh does ein "unicher. # 6ut ho0 .an I /ind so4eone to ta1e the (oo4s at this noti.eH eh 4oans at us? Te((y sha1es ehs heid in ti(ed annoyan.e? I Dou( p(oble4- 4ate? Ah dinnae 1en ho0 tae (un a hotel- that3s you( biE? As1 ays aboot sellin 2ui.e oa/ the ba.1 ay lo((ies n ah3ll )it ye .lued up? Hotel 4ana)e4entF no 4a ba)- eh tells the boy? De hu+ tae )ie it tae La0son- standin thai(e- a.tin) as i/ the 4ana)e( ay a Ge(4an hotel should auto4ati.ally 1en the bio)(aphy ay a :.ottish s.he4ie? Any0ey- the .unt 1in hu// n pu// a0 eh 0ants- ehs e(se is oot the 0indae n 0e3(e o//s1i doon the (oad? E/ti( 0ande(in (oond the toon /i( a bit 0e head tae the 4eat 4a(1et /o( a bee(? As 0e3(e in the 5ueue /i( pints and p(etEels- Te((y3s eyes a(e da(tin a(oond n Gally3s a(e as 0ell- .he.1in oot the /anny? It3s 4ainly o//i.e 0o(1e(s n that- but a /e0 tou(ists n a0? I Tidy- Te((y )oes- then- I Tell ays that 4ana)e( .unt 0isnae as nippy as /u.1? Hotel 4ana)e4entG ,hat does eh thin1 ah a4H =ind you- oo( D+onne did so4e ay that at Tel/o(d- eh .onside(s? Then eh tu(ns tae 6i((ell? I Dou( b(a( 7ab no )aun tae .olle)eH I Aye? Dinnae 1en 0hit eh3s daein but? 6illy3s )ittin the d(in1s in n eh3s )oat ehsel a :teine( ay la)e(? Ah nods at u4- thin1in aboot the /i)ht? I Ta1e it easy- 6illy? I Entitled tae the odd d(in1 oan hoaliday- eh )oes? Ah thin1 eh3s a bit 4i//ed that ehs (outine3s been upset 0i the pishBsatu(ated (unnin) .lathes? I That3s the )a4e 6i((ell- )it it doon yi( ne.1- Te((y toasts- s4ashin thi( :teine(s the)ithe(? I 6i((ell 4eans businessG Ah34 thin1in aboot Te((y3s siste(- D+onne? :he3d sha))ed both 6illy and Gally? No 4e thou)h? Ah suppose ah3+e al0ays /elt a bit le/t oot- .heated in a sense- as i/ pa(t ay 4a bi(th(i)ht 0as ta1en a0ay? 6ut that3s un/ai( tae D+onne- it3s 2ust 4y (i+al(y 0ith =( La0son tal1in)?
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=aybe 0hen 0e )et ha4e I3ll in+ite D+onne up tae the .lub- t(y tae )et oa/ 0i he(- 2ust tae see La0son3s pussG Any0ay- it3s no 2ust 6i((ell 0ho 4eans 6usiness no0- as 0e instin.ti+ely head o0e( tae a table 5uite nea( tae 0hai(e a )(oup ay bi(ds a(e sittin? Gally3s leadin the .ha()e and it3s an ideal spot? The lassies a(e 2ust /inishin thou)h- and they3(e st(ai)ht up as soon as 0e sit doon? Ah .at.h one3s eye n )ie 4a ai(4pits an ob+ious sni//? The lassie s4iles and ah as1- I Not )oin) to stop /o( anothe( d(in1H :he loo1s at he( 4ate and then ba.1 at 4e- I I do not thin1 so- she sais- tu(nin) and 0al1in) a0ay? Te((y loo1s a.(oass the table at ays? I :till )ot the )i/t ay the )ab- eh Ca(lH Thi( /ai(ly /a0in at yi( /eet thai(4ate? This is La0son hea+en@ a bee( in his hand and hi4 sha))in)@ us .elibate? ,e had a .ouple 4ai(- and it3s )(eat sittin he(e 0i a bee(- en2oyin) the .(a.1- 0at.hin) the 0o(ld )o by? I34 sta(tin) tae /eel a bit o/ a .unt aboot 6illy3s ba) thou)h? Eh3s )aun oan aboot the /u.1in .at and ehs t(ainin) (outine? It )its soas ah34 oan the +e()e ay .on/essin a .ouple ay ti4es- 0hi.h ah 1en 0id be a 4ista1e- so ah head oa/ tae this (e.o(d shop ah3d .lo.1ed ea(lie(- tae .he.1 out so4e te.hno be/o(e the be++y 4a1es ays too looseBlipped? Gally3s no bothe(ed- he see4s dist(a.ted- and neithe( is 6illy- but Te((y 4a1es a 0ee .o44ent 0hi.h ah dinnae (ea.t tae? De ne+e( 1en 0hethe( that .unt3s sayin it in /un o( 4eanin it /i( (eal? As eh3s 4eetin ehs bi(d in a bit I e9pe.t it3s p(obably a0 2ist a 0indBup? I 6eha+e? La0sonG Dou /ool o/ a boyG ah shout ba.1 as ah depa(t- and this )ets a lau)h /ae Gaily n 6illy n the 8s /ae Te((y? That yin stu.1 /ae 0ay ba.1- ah thin1 it 0is /ae the s.hool? :o I tea4ed up 0i the4 late( and 0e 4o+ed oot tae ,ol/)an) and =a(.ia3s? Te((y app(o+ed ay the doss- but didnae sti.1 a(ound lon)? I :ha))in duties ba.1 in toon- boys? Dinnae 0ait up- eh s4i(1ed- be/o(e depa(tin)? ,e3d )ied Te((y the add(ess and di(e.tions- 6illy d(a0in) a 4eti.ulous 4ap? ,e thou)ht 0e3d )ie ou( hosts a bit ay spa.e- so that ni)ht the th(ee ay us 0ent oot? ,e steyed lo.al- headin) /i( a 4eal at this t(aditional pubF bi) 0ooden tables- spa(se de.o(ation? ,e .ouldnae unde(stand 0hat the /u.1 it said oan the 4enu n nane ay the sta// no( .usto4e(s .ould spea1 En)lish@ this 0is the sti.1s? It 0is a bit li1e e9pe.tin so4e .unts in a pub in /u.1in Peebles o( 6ath)ate tae be sp(a//in Ee Deuts.h? Gally3s spo1en Ge(4an 0isnae bad- but eh .ouldnae 4a1e heid no( tail ay this 4enu? In the end- 0i
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2ist too1 pot lu.1? 6i((ell )oat loads ay sausa)es- Gally )oat e))s n .abba)e n (i.e- n ah )oat loads ay bee/ and )(a+y 0i this stu// thit 0is li1e pi.1le? ,i 4i9ed n 4at.hed soas that e+e(y .unt 0is 4ai( o( less .hu//ed? Then e/ti( a /e0 d(in1s 0i 4o+ed oantae a poshe( la1eside ba( n 0at.hed a0 these (i.h auld .unts in thi( pastel suits 0al1 thi( 0ee s.abby du)s alon) the ban1s ay the la1e- and a0 the ya.hts head intae the 4a(ina and the sun )o doon oan the Alps li1e a Leith hoo( oan a s0eaty 1nob? A .hill )ot intae the ai(- so 0e headed inside /o( anothe( /e0 bee(s? ,e blethe(ed /o( a bit- sla))in o// Te((yas he 0is the .unt 4issin)? 6illy 1ept ya0nin)- and e/ti( a bit Gally sta(ted tae )it oan 4a titsF d(un1- slu((in n tal1in shite- as1in the sa4e 5uestions n sayin the sa4e thin) o0e( n o0e( a)ain- n pillin ye aboot? This 0is a0

the 1ind ay shite that 0e thou)ht 0e3d )oat a0ay /ae 0hen 0e sta(ted ta1in E3s? E+entually- 0e de.ided tae )it the .unt ha4e? That ni)ht ah /ell intae a sound sleep bet0een they sheets? Clea( .ons.ien.e- ye see? Ah )ets 0a1ened up by Te((y in the ni)ht? He 4ust3+e /ound his 0ey ba.1 tae the )a//? The .unt .li4bs intae bed 0i 4e? I Fu.1 o// Te((y- you( bed3s o0e( thai(e ??? ah )oes- but eh3s no 4o+in- n ah34 no sha(in a bed 0i that di(ty- tapped .unt? :o ah )ets oot n di+es intae his? The .old 0et hits 4a le)s? The .o(1s.(e0Bheided .unt3s pished his ain /u.1in bed?

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It 0is a te((ible ni)ht- n ah34 as annoyed as /u.1 at Te((y? The .unt 0ouldnae 4o+e- so ah hud tae tu(n the 4att(ess o+e( in ehs bed n t(y and .on.eal the pish- n pit the sheets o0e( the (adiato( tae d(y thu4 oot? He 2ust lay thai(e- in a /u.1in .o4a? Ah (ipped 4a sheets n blan1ets oa/ the .unt and slept oan the o+e(tu(ned 4att(ess? The ne9t 4o(nin- ah 0a1es up tae the si)ht ay NoB:aeBLean La0son- in ehs stained D3s- lyin oan the bed opposite? Ah )oes th(ou)h tae see 6illy n Gally? Gallo0ay3s up@ it loo1s li1e eh3s been up a0 ni)ht? Eh3s (eadin) a Ge(4an ph(aseboo1? 6illy ta1es a)es 0a1in up- n st(u))les intae ehs t(a.1suit? A0 ah )it is hi4 4u4blin 3b(utal3 o( 3despe(ate3 as eh heads oot /o( ehs (un? Ah )o doon tae the 1it.hen n )et so4e .o//ee? =a(.ia3s doon thai(e- she tells 4e that ,ol/)an)3s )one tae see so4e lay0e( aboot the
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sale ay the )a//? ,e st(u))le tae 4a1e polite .on+e(sation@ it3s p(etty .lea( tae us that this F(Pulein /eels oo( p(esen.e is un0el.o4e- and it3s 2ust as .lea( tae he( that 0e 1en this- but dinnae )ie a /u.1? It3s da0ned oan he( that she3s no )aunny be able tae sha4e us intae pa.1in oo( ba)s- so it3s 2ist a 4atte( ay .ountin the days? :o- 0e head ba.1 doon tae the lo.al pub? It3s lun.hti4e- it3s a .(a.1in day- so 0e sit in the busy bee( )a(denne9t tae a .ouple ay auld boys? Ah34 sittin in silen.e- thin1in aboot this pa(t ay the 0o(ld- ho0 beauti/ul it isho0 it 0as the 3.ent(e ay the 4o+e4ent3 as 4a auld 4ate Topsy said e9.itedly- 0hen ah told hi4 0e 0e(e oa/ he(e? Te((y 1ens ah34 nipped at the .unt? Ah3+e no .o4e tae Ge(4any tae .lean up so4e 2a1ey3s pish? I These Ge(4an .unts a(e you( 4ates- Ca(l- so ah thoat they3d be 4ai( li1ely tae /o()i+e us i/ they thoat you pished the bed? Du+ )oat tae thin1 ta.ti.ally? I Ah dinnae 1en these people- Te((y- ah3+e 2ist 4et the .unts- and ah didnae pish thi( /u.1in bed? Dou did? Te((y sti.1s t0o pal4s up? I Dou )aunny 1eep this /u.1in st(op oan a0 4o(ninH An inte(national .o4(adeship ay li1eB4inded 4usi.al souls th(ou)hout the 0o(ld- E0a(t- that3s yi( ba)- eh )oes? I Tell ye 0hat but- it3s as 0ell ah didnae stey at 4a ne0 bi(d3s? :he 0ouldnae hu+ been too happy i/ ah pished the bed at he(s? ,e 0ent ba.1 tae the /esti+al but- then she stu.1 ays oan the t(ain- that3s a0 ah 4ind? Than1 /u.1 /o( that .unt in the ta9i ? ? ? I ,hen 0e )it ba.1- you so(t oot they sheets- Te((y? 7i)htH I Chill oot- ya /u.1in (ad)e- eh )oes- then 0in1s? I =ind you- 4ate- ye pi.1ed a )ood doss? Ah34 no sae su(e about that =a(.ia bi(d? A bit nippy- but no0t that a )uid len)th 0illnae so(t oot? I N you3ll sort oot they sheets? 7i)htH The .unt i)no(es 4e? I De )aunny phone yi( =a o0e( in :au)hton =ains tae )it he( tae .o4e n dae the4 /i( yeH ah snaps? Te((y thin1s /o( a se.ond- as i/ .onside(in) the possibility? Then eh tu(ns ehs ba.1 n sta(ts tal1in a0ay tae the auld /ellies? ,an1e(? Gally3s sittin 0i this da/t baseball .ap eh boat yeste(day? 6aye(n =uni.h? Ah thin1 it3s 2ist .ause they ;lu.1ily< 1no.1ed us oot in Eu(ope? Eh loo1s li1e a .o44unityB.a(e .unt in it? Fe0 people loo1 the pa(t in these thin)s? Espe.ially these t0ats that tu(n the4 (oond n pill a lo.1 ay hai( th(ou)h the4@ at least the .unt3s no done that? The(e3ll be a /e0 .unts intae bu(nin auld photaes- that3s /o( su(e? Eh3s sta(in oa/ intae spa.e as usual- but 6illy3s )oat a )(in oan ehs /a.e- 0at.hin 4e n
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Te((y )ittin oantae ea.h othe(? I Good tae see you s4ilin a)ain- ah .o44ent? I Aye- ah 1en- eh says- sha1in ehs held? I It3s 2ist this t(ainin ? ? ? I It 0ould )it 4e doon- (i)ht enou)h- daein a0 that (unnin n hu+in tae 0at.h 0hat ah ate n d(an1- oan hoaliday n that- ah say? 6illy sha1es ehs heid? I It3s no that- Ca(l? Ah no(4ally li1e t(ainin? It3s 2ust the last 0ee1 o( so- e+en be/o(e 0e .a4e he(e- it3s been despe(ate? Ah 2ist /eel sae ti(ed a0 the ti4e? It isnae 4e- eh says (ue/ully? I It3s b(utaln a0 this pishin aboot husnae helped? I ,hat d3ye 4ean ti(ed- li1e no 0ellH I Ah dinnae /eel (i)ht? ? ? inside? It3s li1e ah3+e )oat so4e +i(us o( so4ethin)? Nae ene()y? Gaily .hips in at this? I ,hat dae ye 4ean a +i(us- ho0 the /u.1

1in you hu+ a +i(usH 6illy loo1s at hi4? I Ah dinnae 1en? Ah 2ist /eel 1na.1e(ed? It3s despe(ate? Gaily nods slo0ly- as i/ t(yin tae unde(stand- then has a 0ee .hu.1le tae hi4sel/? I Ah3ll )it the d(in1s in? O(an)e 2ui.e a)ain- 6illyH I Jist a 0ate(? Thi( 0is a silen.e /o( a 0hile- but it 0isnae un.o4/o(table- it 0is 0el.o4e? Te((y 0is sittin ba.1 a0 .oolbut- 0i that ah34Bsu(eBayB4asel/ bea(in? :o ah hu+ tae as1? I A0(i)ht- La0son- you 0in? ,hat aboot you then- ho0 did you )it oan last ni)htH Ah .lo.1 ehs bee( )ut- .o4in unde( ehs (id shi(t n o0e( ehs blue sho(ts? Then ah tu(n n loo1 at 6illy3s 0ashboa(d sto4a.h? It disnae see4 that lon) that thi( )uts loo1ed the sa4e? 6la.1pool ba.1 in ei)htyBsi9? Te((y (uns ehs hand th(ou)h that .o(1s.(e0 4op 0i a /lou(ish? I :pot on? Ah34 4eetin he( a)ain late( oanhe says- but ehs +oi.e is t(ailin oa/ a bit doubt/ully? I De dinnae see4 that .hu//ed- Gaily says- pi.1in up the +ibe? I ,ell- the thin) is- ah3+e )oat a bit ay an it.hy 1nob? Didnae bothe( 0i a .ondo4- eh no- .annae /u.1in 0ell )it thu4 he(e in the .he4ist3s? Ah spot a .han.e ay a 0indBup? I Typi.al /u.1in Pape st(on)hold- ah )oes? One ay the )(eat 4yths aboot :.otland is that it3s P(otestant +? Catholi.? The t(uth is that it3s antiBCatholi. +? Catholi.? =aist antiBCatholi.s ha+e ne+e( been tae a .hu(.h ootside 0eddin)s and /une(als? Na0- ah ne+e( belie+ed in that P(otestant and Catholi. shite- it3s a load ay nonsense- but these /u.1in Pape .unts should .o4e intae the t0entieth .entu(y- it has tae be said? And it3s )ood tae noise up they
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Hibby basta(ds o..asionally as 0ell- e+en i/ not one pe(son he(e is (eally Catholi.? Ah thin1 6i((ell3s hal/B Catholi.- li1e 4e- but ah34 no su(e? I ,is 0onde(in 0hen ye 0i( )aunny .o4e oot 0i the /i(st se.ta(ian shite ay the day ? ? ? 4ind you- it3s ten o3.lo.1 al(eady so yu+ done a0(i)ht- 6illy tells ays? 6illy3s been soa1in up the sun but eh )its up and s4a.1s the ba.1 ay 4a heid- 0hi.h hu(ts 4ai( thin ah lit oan? That .unt3s )oat hea+y hands n ah34 diEEy? 6asta(d? Ah loo1 oot o0e( the )ai(din and ta1e a deep b(eath ay ai(? Aye- ah thin1 6illy3s =a 4i)ht be Catholi.- li1e 4ine? I =ind you- it 0is a bit it.hy be/o(e last ni)ht- Te((y says- 4o+in) thin)s on? Ah34 5uite )lad .ause ah dinnae 0ant tae )et intae an a()u4ent aboot 0ho3s )oat the bi))est suppo(t ;us- used tae be thai4<- the ha(dest 4ob ;thai4- used tae be us<- 0hethe( thi(3s 4ai( o( less s.(u//s- yuppies- bi)ots- pubs- hoo(s- (a+e(s- AID:s.hools- shoaps o( hoaspitals in Leith o( Go()ie? Fu.1 a0 that? It3s a /u.1in hoaliday? Gally3s /a.e hus lit up? Ah 1en that 4i.hie+ous de4oni. e9p(ession n ah34 no 0(on)? I The thin) is bit4ate- ye do hu+ 5uite a lon) /o(es1in- eh says tae Jui.e Te((y? I EhG Te((y3s a)hast at this? 6illy sni))e(s- n ah dae n a0- e+en thou)h ah34 still (ubbin 4a heid? Oo( =( Gallo0ay3s )aun a0 0ideBeyed n inno.entBloo1in no0? I Jist sayin- yu+ )oat 5uite a lon) /o(es1in n .ause ay that it 4ust be ha(de( tae 1eep it .lean- li1e unde( the hel4et n that- eh .asually e9plains? =e n 6illy s4ile at ea.h othe( .ause Jui.e Te((y3s a bit nipped? Eh points at Gaily? I ,hat the /u.13s a0 this abootH I ,ell ye hu+- hu+n3t yeH Gaily as1s? The 0ee 4an3s oan a 4e)a 0indBup he(e? I Disnae /u.1in 0ell 4atte( 0hethe( ah hu+ o( ah hu+nae? Is that any 0ey /i( a )uy tae tal1 aboot his 4ateH Gally3s steyin deadpan? ,hen eh3s oan /o(4- eh3s aboot the only .unt that3s a 4at.h /o( Te((y in the 0indBup2ust oan shee( pe(sisten.e? I Listen- 4ate- eh e9plains- I 0e3+e played /itba the)ithe( /i( yea(s? Ah3+e seen you( /o(es1in tons ay ti4es? N be/o(e ye a..use ays ay sta(in it yi( .o.1- it3s no e9a.tly as i/ ye hide it unde( a bushel? I Hu+ tae be a bi) bushel tae .o+e( his /o(es1in- 6illy lau)hed? I EhH Te((y (esponded? Gaily loo1s at Te((y- then at 4e n 6illy- then at Te((y a)ain? I Loo1- ye used tae pit /a)s unde(neath yi( /o(es1in p(etendin ye 0i(
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s4o1in the4? That 0is yi( pe(tyBpie.e- 4indH De used tae see ho0 4any ye .ould )it unde( it? ,e3+e a0 seen ea.h othe(3s .o.1s? Lit3s no deny it? A0 ah34 sayin is thit you3+e )oat 5uite a lon) /o(es1in- as /o(es1ins )o- so that ah i4a)ine that ye 0ould hu+ tae be 2ist that 0ee bit 4ai( .a(e/ul 0hen it .a4e tae pe(sonal hy)iene- that3s a0? Ah 0is 2ist 4a1in a point aboot the it.hin- Gally e9plained- tu(nin ba.1 tae 4e as ah b(e1s intae a sni))e( n 0i( a0 lau)hin a0ay? A0 e9.ept Te((y that is? 6ut ye ne+e( (eally 1en 0i Te((y 0hethe( eh3s (eally upset o( 2ist playin at it- in o(de( tae 1eep the .(a.1 )aun? I Dou3(e a si.1 .unt? :o ye 4a1e a point ay studyin othe( )uys3 1nobsH

I It3s no a /u.1in study- Te((y? It3s a .asual obse(+ation- Gally tells u4? I Ah dinnae loo1 at )uys3 .o.1s? Ah3+e 2ist seen you(s o0e( the yea(s- at s.hool- playin /itba n that? Ah34 no 4a1in a bi) thin) aboot it??? I It3s bi) enou)h al(eady- 6illy 0in1s- I the /o(es1in that is? I ??? so thi(3s nae need tae )it so /u.1in hu4pty- Gally adds? Te((y3s sta(in .oldly at hi4? Eh sits up in ehs seat? I :o you thin1 that3s (i)htH He nods at the auld boys- I Tell the /u.1in 0o(ld aboot 4a .o.1H I Na0 ? ? ? it3s no that ? ? ? ah34 no tellin the 0o(ld- ah34 ??? a0 /u.1 ? ? ? a0(i)ht- a0(i)ht- ah34 so((y? Lit3s 2ist d(oap it- Gally )oes as 6illy n 4e .a.1le at ea.h othe(? Te((y sta(ts up li1e eh3s de/endin ehsel in .ou(t? The .unt3s hud plenty ay p(a.ti.e ay that 4ind you- the thie+in basta(d? I :o ye a..ept it isnae the so(t ay thin) )uys should tal1 aboot- )uys thit a(e 4ates- thit u(nae poo/sH I Only i/ you a..ept that yu+ )oat 5uite a lon) /o(es1in- Gally (eto(ts? I Nup- nae /u.1in .onditionsG I/ ah a..ept that- it 4eans ah3+e a..epted you( (i)ht tae 4a1e the state4ent aboot 4a .o.1- 0hi.h ah dinnae? Ande(standH Ah thin1 aboot this /o( a 0hile? Gally does n a0@ that ea((in)3s )ittin 0ell tu(ned? Ah dinnae 1en 0hit Te((y3s oan aboot- that the .unt 0is that sensiti+e aboot ehs /u.1in /o(es1in? Eh3s ey0is /lashin ehs /u.1in 1nob? Eh3s )oat the bi))est /u.1in .o.1 he(e? :o ah dinnae (eally 1en 0hat this is a0 aboot- bit it see4s Te((y3s (eally nipped- li1e it3s )ittin a 0ee bit oot ay hand- n Gally3s )oat the sense tae see it? I Du+ )oat a point- 4ate? Fai( /u.1s tae Lean La0son? Ah .on.ede oan that- eh e9tends ehs hand? Te((y loo1s at it /o( a bit then sha1es it?
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I Thin) is thou)h- Gally )oes- noddin o0e( at the auld Ge(4an boys- I you3d be a0(i)ht 0i these .unts he(e- 0i you( lon) /o(es1in? I EhG Te((y3s out(a)ed a)ain? =e n 6illy a(e pishin) oo(sel+es? Then it3s li1e Te((y3s t(yin tae /i)ht it ba.1 but he is n a0? I It3d be the li1es ay 4e thit 0id3+e been up the (oad tae Da.hau? =e 0i this .i(.u4.ision 2ob? Ah 4ind ay Gally3s .i(.u4.ision? Ah 4ind ay hi4 sho0in us it in the bo)s in the Last Fu(lon) 0hin it still hud its stit.hes in? I ,hit did ye )it .i(.u4.ised /i(H 6illy )oes? I Too ti)ht? It 0is 0hin ah 0is (idin one ay the 6(oo1 t0ins- Gally e9plains? I The 6(oo1 siste(s- ah say /ondly and 6illy s4iles as 0ell? E+en Te((y loo1s a bit 4ai( .hilled? Ah /u.1in lo+e they )i(lsF the best lassies in the 0o(ld? I It )oat so /u.1in ti)ht it 2ist 0ent pin)G Gally elabo(ates? I Ap li1e a /u.1in 8enetian blind? Ah 0is in a)ony? Ah thoat it 0is 2ist the bu(st Du(e9 0(apped (oond thai( at /i(st- bit it 0is 0ay too sai(? Then ah (ealised that it 0is 4a /u.1in /o(es1inG Aye- li1e a /u.1in b(o1en (olle( blind 0(apped (oond the bit 0hai(e the sha/t 4eets the bell end- .uttin oa/ the supply ay blood? =a bell end 0ent blue- then bla.1? The 6(oo1 siste( phoned the a4bulan.e- they too1 ays up tae the hoaspitalF e4e()en.y .i(.u4.ision 2ob? I Is it bette( no0H 6illy as1ed? =( And(e0 Gallo0ay pu.1e(ed his lips? I It 0is /u.1in sai( at /i(st- eh tells us- I dinnae let anybody tell ye di//e(ent? Espe.ially 0hen the stit.hes a(e still in and ye )et a ha(dBon in yi( sleep at ni)ht? 6ut no0 it3s a bette( (ide than e+e(? 6i(ds p(e/e( it n a0? Ah3d thin1 aboot )ittin it done Te((y- 0i you( /o(es1in n that? =ind you- ye 1en 0hat they sayF a0 /o(es1in- nae .o.1? I ,hatH Gally pits one pal4 oan ehs .hist n /lips the othe( oot0a(ds? I A0 ah34 sayin) isF 0i( no disputin thit thi(3s enou)h b(eed- but is thi( any 4eat in the sand0i.hH I Thi(3s no0t 0(on) 0i 4a /u.1in .o.1- son- Te((y snaps- a0 de/ensi+e a)ain- I thi(3s plenty /u.1in .o.1 0hi.h .o4es up (i)ht o+e( the toap ay that /o(es1in 0hin ah3+e )oat a (oot oan? Jist /u.1in 0ell t(y .o4pa(in 0hai(e 4a /u.1in .o.1 0is last ni)ht tae 0hai(e you(s 0is- stu.1 bet0een they s0eaty pal4s ay you(s as usualG :o dinnae you /u.1in 0ell sta(tG They /lun) a0ay the 0(on) bit 0hen they .i(.u4.ised you- ya 0ee .unt?
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The 6(oo1 t0ins? H44? H44? Li/elon) a4bition- a th(eeso4e 0i the 6(oo1 t0ins? Ah3d ne+e( 4ention this tae Te((y- .ause the .unt 0id p(obably say that eh3d done that- 0i thi( 4othe( n .ousin /lun) in /i( )ood 4easu(e? The da/t thin) 0is- ah t(ied it oan 0i the4 both- a/te( the .lub one ni)ht 0hen ah )ot the4 ba.1 tae 4ine? 6ut it 0as a noB)o? I Listen- ah sais ba.1 tae Gaily- I 0hi.h 6(oo1 t0in 0is it ye 0i( (idin 0hin it happenedH I Fu.1 1no0s- 4an- =( Gallo0ay )oes- I ah .annae tell the4 apa(t? 6illy 0is .onside(in this? I Ah 1en? Identi.al? No e+en any 4oles o( that as /a( as ah .ould 4a1e oot? Ah

thin1 thit Lesley 4i)ht be )ittin a bit hea+ie( thin Ca(en- but a .ouple ay yea(s ba.1 they 0i( li1e t0o peas in a pod? I De 1en the only 0ey tae tell the4 apa(tH Te((y +entu(es? I Ah 1en 0hit yi( )aunny say- La0son- Gaily .ut in- I one spits n one s0allays? I That3s Lesley yi( tal1in aboot- that3s the spitte(- ah )oes? :he doesnae e+en li1e tae ta1e it in the 4ooth? Ah should /u.1in 1en- ah t(ied enou)h? I ,(on)- Te((y )oes- she 0ill i/ ye 0ea( a .ondo4? 6ut Ca(en3s by /a( the best (ide oot ay the t0o? Ta1es it up the e(se- the /u.1in loat? I I3ll ta1e you( 0o(d /i( that- ah tell hi4? Ah34 no a /u.1in e(seBsha))e(? That3s /o( .unts that dinnae 1en 0hat thi( aboot? De 1en 0hat they say aboot boys that sha) bi(ds up the e(se- thi( 2ist 0aitin tae )o a0 the 0ey 0i anothe( )uy- ah s4ile? Te((y /i9ed ays in a .hallen)in) sta(e? His hai( is a0 o0e( the pla.e? I 6ullshitG Dinnae /u.1in )ie ays thatE0a(t? It3s 2ust .ause you3(e that /u.1in (ep(essed n unad+entu(ous? Dou3+e )oat tae )it the /ill hoose- pal? Ah 1in i4a)ine you oan the 2oabF /i+e 4inutes in the 4issiona(y position then ba.1 tae the booEe(? I Cunt3s been tal1in a)ain- ehH :e(iously but- 0hy 0ait that lon)H ,hy dae ye thin1 thit the :.ots in+ented p(e4atu(e e2a.ulationH :oas 0e .ould spend 4ai( ti4e in the pub? Hail CaledoniaG Ah (aise 4y )less n the t0o old boys (aise thai(es ba.1? Te((y /i9es ays in that (apto(3s )aEe? I Dou3+e been hin)in a(oond 0i they 6(oo1 lassies a loat? Thi( ni+i( a0ay /ae Fluid? E+e( done thu4 baith at on.e- a th(eeso4eH That .unt is a /u.1in 4indB(eade(? 6i((ell3s all ea(s no0 and Gallo0ay3s eyes a(e li1e bi)- bla.1- satellite dishes /o.used on 4e? Ah
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)et a tou.h pa(anoid that one ay the 6(oo1 )i(ls telt Te((y the sto(y- so ah de.ide that honesty3s the best poli.y? I Na0- they .a4e ba.1 tae 4ine- the pai( ay the4- one ni)ht e/ti( Fluid? I Aye- that bi(d .e(tainly spilt so4e Fluid o0e( you that ni)ht- Gaily )oes? Te((y3s s4ile3s li1e a blastB/u(na.e? I Aye- 0ell ah )oat 4a ain ba.1 /o( ye 4ate- .ause ah spilt so4e in he(eh tells us? The thin) is- ye 1en it3s no .(ap n a0? That /at .unt? Ho0 the /u.1 he does it is beyond 4e? He3s a )ood stone o+e(0ei)ht- his .lathes and hai(style a(e ten- na0- /i/teen yea(s oot ay date? The /u.1in 7od :te0a(t o/ A.id House? I :t(oll on- La0son- Gaily sno(ts? I Fu.1 his bullshit? Te((y loo1s at hi4 as i/ tae say- aye- 0e a0 1en the state you 0i( in that ni)ht- so be/o(e eh 1in )it it in- Gaily stea4s oan? I C34oan E0a(t- 0hat happened 0i the 6(oo1sH I ,ell- ah )oes- I 0e3(e ba.1 at 4ines@ a0 pilled up- 2ist the th(ee ay us? De 1en ho0 it is@ 0i( dan.in) n hu))in n 1issin n 2ust sp(eadin that bi) /u.1in lu(+e +ibe? Then 0e )oat a bit 1na.1e(ed- n sta(ted spa.in oot oan the .ou.h? :o ah su))ested 0i a0 2ust )o th(ou)h tae 4a bi) bed n .(ash oot the)ithe(? The thin) 0is- ah hud tu(ned intae a /u.1in lesbian 0i the E3s by that ti4e- ah 0isnae e+en thin1in penet(ation- ah 2ist 0anted a 1ind ay sensual (o4p? Ca(en 0is up /o( it- she3s a0 that 3a0 that 0id be beautBihB/ihhl3 0ey- but Lesley 0isnae hu+in it? Ah34 no ta1in 4a .lathes oa/ n )ittin intae bed 0i 4a ain siste(- she says? :o ah )oes- .34oan Les- ah 4ean- youse t0o sha(ed the sa4e 0o4b /o( nine 4onths? Just thin1 ay that bed as one bi) 0o4b? :he )oes- it3s no that that bothe(s 4e@ the p(oble4 is- ah thin1 ay you bein in thai(e 0i us- and ah thin1 ay you as the bi) pla.enta in that 0o4b? Gaily loo1s slo0ly o0e( at Te((y and a pneu4ati. hiss ay a lau)h sta(ts up /ae the .unt? Te((y3s 2oinin in too? :oas 6i((ell? I Pla.enta E0a(t- Gaily .ho(tles- then )oes a0 se(ious and points at 4e- I that ni.1na4e .ould .at.h onG I DJ Pla.enta- that sounds ba((y- Te((y lau)hs? ,e head oot oan the :B6ahn n de.ide tae ta1e it the othe( 0ey- /u(the( oot /o( a bit- stoppin) oa/ /i( a bee( in a ba( on the la1e/(ont at :ta(nbe()? The la1e is .hoppy /o( a .lea(- still day? Ah34 thin1in)- ho0 .ould landlo.1ed 0ate( ha+e that 4o+e4entH ,as it /(o4 the boats o(
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4aybe unde()(ound st(ea4s /lo0in) into itH Ah34 about to dis.uss it but ah34 too laEy to pu(sue the thou)hten2oyin) the sounds o/ the s4all 0a+es sloppin) a)ainst the (id)e o/ the boa(d0al1 a /e0 /eet /(o4 ou( table? It3s a pleasant- e+en a(ousin) sound- b(in)in) tae 4ind t0o na1ed bodies ;spe.i/i.ally 4ine and a sha))able lassie3s- o( 4aybe t0o- 4aybe baith 6(oo1 t0ins< slappin) to)ethe( in a /ou(Bposte(- 1in)BsiEed bed? It had been too lon)? Ten /u.1in days? The(e3s a 0ee du) sni//in) a(ound 0hi.h (e4inded 4e o/ Gally3s auld du)

C(opley? Ah /eel as ho(ny as C(opley in the su44e(s be/o(e they )ot the pe(( .unt speyed? Te((y loo1s at this do) 0hi.h 0as sta(in) at hi4 in5uisiti+ely? I Hiya boy- he )oes- I it3s li1e eh 1ens 0hat ah34 sayin? I =ibbe eh 2ist /an.ies ye? It3ll no be the /i(st yin yu+ /u.1ed- Gally telt u4? As Te((y )(i4a.ed- 6illy sais- I Gally- 1en you( 4ate- eh3s 4a b(a(3s 4ate n a0- the posh boy thit3s )aunny be the +etH I Aye- Ga(eth- Gally )oes? I Aye- eh 0ent tae one ay they snobby s.hools- but eh3s a Hibs boy- a )a4e .unt li1es- Te((y sais tae 4e? I Any0ey- 6i((ell e9plains- I 7ab 0is )aun oan aboot du)s bein able tae 1en 0hat ye say n that Ga(eth )oesF Don3t anth(opo4o(phise ou( /ou(Ble))ed /(iends- 7obe(t- it 4e(ely se(+es to debase 4e4be(s o/ both spe.ies? I That3s Ga(eth- Gally lau)hs? Ah dinnae 1en this boy- only by ehs (ep- but ah say no0t? Ah34 te4pted tae say that it3s an a0/ay bi) 0o(d /o( a Hibby tae use- but ah shut it? The odds a(e sta.1ed a)ainst 4e but@ Pla.enta E0a(t? Ah34 2ist 0aitin /i( that yin tae (eBsu(/a.e? Te((y3s )aun oan aboot this bi(d no0? :he3s Ge(4an- studyin :panish and Italian at =uni.h Ani- but appa(ently he( En)lish is shiteBtheBni)htBa/te(BaB+indalooBhoat as 0ell? ,e3(e a0 p(etty 2ealous and that3s p(obably 0he(e a0 Gally3s stu// aboot Te((y3s 1nob .a4e /ae? 6ut the .unt does ha+e a lon) /o(es1inF basi. state4ent ay /a.t? Lon) /o(es1in o( no lon) /o(es1in- 0e let the /u.1e( )o ahead and a((an)e tae 4eet hi4 late( at the Ha.1e(BPsy.ho( tent at the Festi+al site? ,i( a0 hu+in a 0ee sni))e( as eh 0al1s a0ay- the .o(1s.(e0 hai( bla0in a0 o0e( the pla.e a)ainst the 0ind .o4in oa/ the la1e? Eh3s 0ide /o( oo( )a4e n tu(ns (oond- s4ilin de(isi+ely- )iein us the 8s?
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;o" That3s What I Call Chorin
A /e0 pee+es late( 0e3(e 0al1in th(ou)h the unde(pass o/ the lo.al :B6ahn station to0a(ds the toon? The(e3s a )(oup o/ youn) )i(ls- 2ist 1ids (eally- .on)(e)ated a(ound the e9it /(o4 the tunnel? The(e 4ust be /u.1 all /o( the4 tae dae in a pla.e li1e thisF a toon do4inated by auld .unts and (i.h .o44ute(s? I :o4e 0ee (ides a(oond the day- eh- Gally )oes? Thin)s 4ust be )ittin despa(ate 0i hi4 n a0? I 6ai(nsah say- no +e(y .on+in.in)ly? I :o /u.1- he )oes and eh3s (i)ht o0e( tae the4? I En.hildi)un) bitte- 4ein deuts.h is neit so )ooed? :p(e1t Ee En)elsH They sta(t )i))lin)- hudin thi( hands o0e( thi( 4ooths? They a(e 2ist 0ee bai(ns (eally? Ah34 sta(tin tae /eel un.o4/o(table n ah 1in tell that 6illy is n a0? I ,a( is the CD shopH Gally s4iles? Eh3s 5uite a st(i1inBloo1in 0ee /elly- 0i these bi) eyes and teeth n 0hen eh3s .hilled oot- eh3s )oat this laEy s4ile? These la4ps hu+ an odd 5uality 0hi.h see4s tae hit the spot 0i so4e bi(ds? They .ould st(ip paint /ae the 0a0s- and they so4eti4es 0o(1 the sa4e 0ey oan a bi(d3s .lathes? Gally and Te((y a(e ni+i( sho(t ay /anny .ause the .unts3+e )oat a bit ah .ha(4 n .on/iden.e? 6i(ds li1e that? 6a.1 ha4e they used tae )o oot the)ithe( oan the pull a loat- e+en i/ they 0ind ea.h othe( up n 1in )it oan ea.h othe(3s ne(+es so4eti4es? :o ay dinnae 1en 0hy eh3s t(yin it on 0i these 0ee yins? I The(e is a shop 0hi.h sells the4? The(e- one attenti+e- se(iousBloo1in 0ee lassie )oes- pointin o0e( the (oad? Ah p(a.ti.ally hus tae pill Gally a0ay /ae they 0ee bi(ds? I Cool it- Gally? Dou( 0ee lassie3 be that a)e soon enou)h? De 0ant he( )ittin .hatted up by t0entyB/i+eByea(Bauld )uys 0hin she3s that a)eH I Ah 0is 2ist 4u.1in aboot ??? eh says? Ah /eel li1e sayin that the beast3s 0in) in :au)hton3s /ill ay .unts that said that- but that 0ould be oot ay o(de(- e+en in a 2o1e- .ause Gally3s sound- eh is 2ist 4u.1in aboot n it3s 4ibbe 4e that3s bein too sensiti+e? 6ut stoat3s stoatF Ge(4any o( :.otland- it 4a1es nae odds? N ah see 6illy3s loo1in a bit dubiously at Gally n a0? Ah dunno 0hat3s )aun oan 0i that 0ee .unt these days? Te((y says eh3s been hin)in aboot 0i so4e 0an1e(s- La((y ,ylie n that .(o0d? That 4i)ht be Te((y e9a))e(atin? Gally 0is 1no.1in aboot 0i so4e hea+y .unts a 0hile ba.1 but eh3s sa.1ed that no0?
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be++y? Then 0i( st(ai)ht ba.1 oot and doon tae the station tae )it the :B6ahn intae =uni.h? ,e )et oot /o( a 0ee d(in1 in toon- and 0e3(e (eady tae head oot tae 4eet up 0i Te((y n ehs bi(d at the Ha.1e(BPsy.ho( tent oan the Festi+al site /o( so4e se(ious d(in1in)- 0hen 0ho should 0e see but the .unt hi4sel/- .o4in) to0a(ds us- hudin this bi(d3s hand? Te((y3s bi(d- Hed(a- is as tidy as /u.1? ,hen eh int(odu.ed us thou)h- ah hud tae a+oid Gaily n 6illy3s eyes? Ah .ould tell the /i(st thin) they thou)ht aboot 0is blo0B2oabs n a0? ,hat this bi(d sees in Te((y ah3ll ni+i( 1en? Ah34 e9plainin this tae 6i((ell as Te((y n Gaily )it thu4 in-

Gaily boastin tae the .unt aboot oo( .ho(in- n 6i((ell3s )aun- I Na0- it3s 2ist .ause she3s /o(ei)n- she3s e9oti. tae you? No a badBloo1in lassie- bit i/ she 0is /ae ,este( Hailes- ye3d 2ist thin1- o(dina(y bi(d? Ah loo1 at the lassie a)ain- i4a)inin he( in ,este( Hailes shoppin .ent(e .he0in oan a C(a0/o(d3s b(idieand ah suppose 6i((ell3s )oat a point? 6ut 4a point is that this isnae ,este( Hailes? ,e3(e headin) doon the (oad 0hen Te((y .lo.1s this si)n ootside this bi)- stane publi. buildin)? I Che.1 this boys- 34oan- stall the no0? Thi(3s so4ethin) in Ge(4an- but unde(neath it says in En)lishF M6N%"H,ED%N16R3H T'%N "%T%ES "<MM%TTEE M6N%"H "<6N"%$ 'E$"<MES THE Y<6TH <F ED%N16R3H I That is you- the youth o/ Edinbu()h- Hed(a )i))les? I Too /u.1in (i)ht it is? ,e should be 0ell in /i( a be++y he(e? 6u.1shee- li1es? That3s us- Edinbu()h youthTe((y sais 0i p(ide? I ,i .annae )o in thai(e- 6illy3s sha1in ehs heid? Gaily loo1s at hi4 dis4issi+ely? Te((y 4i4i.s a poo/y +oi.e- I ,i .annae dae this- 0i .annae dae that- eh nodded? I ,hai(e3s yi( bottle- 6i((ellH Lea+e it in the (in)H C34oan- eh pun.hes 6illy3s ai(4- de/usin ehs (isin an)e(? I Thin1 :ounessG ,e3ll b(ass oo( .ase? G(ae4e :ouness .a4e /ae (oond oo( 0ey- n eh3s still Te((y3s he(o- e+en thou)h eh 4ana)es the Huns no0? ,hen :ouness hud the pe(4 and 4o0se(- Te((y e+en )(e0 a da/t bit ay bu4/lu// tae t(y n e4ulate hi4? ,hene+e( eh 0ants tae 4oti+ate so4e .unt- tae t(y n )ee thu4 up intae ehs s.a4- eh ey0is )oes 3thin1 :ouness3? ,e used tae see :ouness .o4e ba.1 /ae t(ainin 0hen 0e 0e(e 0ee laddies? Eh on.e )a+e Te((y /i/ty pen.e /o( s0eeties? Dou al0ays 4ind ay thin)s li1e that? Te((y e+en /o()a+e :ouness /o( that sho.1in ta.1le on Geo()e =.Clus1ey at Easte( 7oad a /e0 yea(s a)o? I =.Clus1ey 0is a /u.1in
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soapdod)e(- shouldnae hu+ ,eed)ies playin /i( Hibs in the /i(st pla.e- eh said- a0 se(ious? E+e(y .unt 1ens that :ouness 0is a Ja4bo- but na0- Te((y 2ust 0ouldnae hu+ it? I :ouness is a /u.1in Hibby- eh3d de.la(e? I I/ eh 0is a(oond no0 eh3d be up the toon 0i the CC: boys in the desi)ne( )ea(- no hidin oot in the s.he4e li1e you )(easy Ja4bo .unts? ,hat the /u.1 is he tal1in aboot desi)ne( )ea( /o(H Te((y is to /ashion 0hat :ydney De+ine is to a.id house? Any0ay- thin1in :ouness- 0e )o pu(pose/ully up a set ay stone steps intae the buildin)? T0o bi) doo(4en blo.1 ou( path? Ah34 no /eelin 5uite so :ouness any4ai(? Than1/ully- one )uy in a suit .o4es out behind the bi) .unts and ushe(s the4 aside? Ah .ould see 6i((ell- pu4ped up by Te((y- (eady tae hu+ a )o? The boy- a bea(ded- 7ol/ Ha((is type ay .unt- 0ea(in a d(ess 2ay1it and .ai((yin so4e pape(s- s4iles at us? I I a4 Ho(st? Dou a(e the Edinbu()h .ontin)entH I That3s us .ap )ad)e- Gaily )oes- I the Doun) =ental A4ste(da4 :hot)un :5uad tae oo( pals? The Ho(st )uy st(o1es ehs bea(d? I A4ste(da4 is no )ood- 0e a(e 0antin) the people /(o4 Edinbu()h? I Eh3s .ha//in ye 4ate- 0e3(e .apital .haps th(ou)h and th(ou)h- Te((y e9plained? I Th(ee Hibees n a Ja4bo? Nae sadB.ase ,eed)ie i4pe(sonato(s he(e? Ho(st loo1s at us one by one- then at his pie.e ay pape(- then at us? I Good? ,e had a 4essa)e that the /li)ht 0as delayed? Dou did 0ell to )et /(o4 the ai(po(t so 5ui.1ly? ,hi.h one o/ you is the s5uash .ha4pion=u(do Ca4pbellBLe0is o/ 6a(ntonH I Eh- that3s hi4- Te((y points at 6illy- .ause eh loo1s the /ittest? Ho(st p(odu.es a dele)ate bad)e and )ies it tae 6i((ell 0hae sel/.ons.iously .lips it oan? Ho(st then loo1s at Hed(a- 0hae s.(utinises hi4 .oolly? :he3s a0(i)ht- this lassie? I ,he(e a(e the (est o/ the )i(lsH Gaily (ubs ehs ea((in)? I Good 5uestion- 4ate? ,e3+e no hud that 4u.h lu.1 in )ittin oo( hole sin.e 0i .a4e he(e? 6illy .uts in- tae silen.e oo( lau)hte(? I Thi( .o4in on behind? ,e3(e bein ushe(ed intae this hall- 0hi.h has hu)e .handelie(s hin)in /ae the .eilin and tables a0 set up 0i loads ay dele)ates (eady seated- eatin and d(in1in- bein) se(+ed by 0ait(esses and 0aite(s? Ho(st3s )iein us passes- Gaily )(abs one and says- I That3s 4e- Ch(istian Cno9- s.hoolboy in+ento( /ae :te0a(t3sB=el+ille Colle)e?
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I ,ho is 7obe(t Jones- the +iolin playe( ? ? ? /(o4 CF: ??? C(ai)4illa( Festi+al :o.iety ? ? ? Ho(st as1s? I The to1en s.he4ie- Te((y 0hispe(s tae 4e? Ah3ll ta1e that? I That3s 4e 4ate- I n it3s G:F- no GF:? The Ho(st boy loo1s at ays nonplussed n hands the bad)e o0e(? Ah .lip it oan the .o(ne( ay 4a suede 2ay1it? ,i( sittin doon tae a )ood /u.1in bit ay nosh? Thi(3s loads ay 0ino- n 0ee Gally )its a bit sti// 0hen one ay the 0ait(esses as1s u4 i/ eh3s auld enou)h /i( it? I Ah3+e )oat a dau)hte( you( a)e- eh s.o//s? ,e )ie a 0ee I

OhhhhhhG 0hi.h )its oan ehs tits? The nosh is 2ust the )a4e@ 0e hu+ a sea/ood salad tae sta(t- then so4e (oast .hi.1en- tatties n +e)? E/ti( a 0hile ah34 a0a(e ay a bit ay a .o44otion 0i +oi.es bein (aised- n ah loo1 o0e( n see a .ouple ay auld b(asse(s 0hae loo1 +a)uely /a4ilia(? One ay the43s a (i)ht auld .(one a0(i)ht- a0 st(ident 0i seethin) eyes pe(4anently s.annin) the 0o(ld in sea(.h ay so4ethin) tae disapp(o+e ay? The othe( one3s a s4u)- suitedB up .unt 0i a 0ellB/ed /a.e and an e9p(ession 0hi.h bea4sF3I34 in /u.1in .lo+e( he(e- and I 0ant e+e(y basta(d to 1no0 it?3 Thi(3s a load ay youn) /u.1e(s 0i the4@ laddies and lassies- s.(ubbed and .leanBloo1in) 0i 1eenb(i)ht eyes- eyes unused tae the .asual obse(+ation o/ li/e3s ha(shness? They loo1 li1e the 1ind ay soo1y punte(s ye 1ent ba.1 in the s.he4e- the 0ei(d yins thit used tae )o shoapin /i( the auld /u.1e(s? Li1e 6i((ellthe bo9in so.ial 0o(1e(- ah supposeG I AhBuh ? ? ? Te((y )oes- s0i))in) ba.1 his 0ine- then pillin a /ill boatil oot /ae the i.e bu.1et n sti.1in it unde( ehs 2ay1it? I Loo1s li1e the pe(ty3s o+e( ? ? ? I That3s that .oun.illo( /ae Edinbu()h- the (ad)e auld .unt thit3s ey in the 2e%s .o4plainin aboot the /ilth at the Festi+al- 6i((ell sais- 2o))in 4a 4e4o(y? Cent ay (e.o)nised he( /ae so4e0hai(e? I :he 1no.1ed ba.1 oo( bo9in .lub3s )(ant /ae the 7e.(eation Co44ittee? Thi( loo1in) o0e( at us- and a(e about as pleased to see thi( /ello0 .apital .itiEens as you a(e to en.ounte( a blo.1ed la++y on a bad han)o+e( day? Ho(st .o4es (unnin o0e( 0i the t0o .unts /ae the doo(? I Dou should not be he(eG Dou 4ust lea+eG eh shouts at us? I Hi- 0u+ no hud desse(t yitG Gally lau)hs? I A0(i)ht .appy )ad)esG eh shouts o+e( at the .oun.il pa(tyehs thu4bs (aised? The s4u) boy3s /a.e has .han)ed a0(i)ht? :u(e it has- that P7 )loss3s been 0ell li.1ed oa/ no0? I Go- o( the poli.e 0ill be .alled i44ediatelyG Ho(st .o44ands? ,ell- ye dinnae li1e tae be spo1en tae li1e that and thi(3s nae
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e9.use tae be (ude tae st(an)e(s- espe.ially as thi( see4s tae be enou)h (oo4 and )(ub /o( us all- but- 0ellthese .unts a(e hudin a0 the a.es? I Aye- (i)ht ye a(e then ya .unt- ah )oes? BB C34oan boys? ,e )et tae ou( /eet- Gally stu//in a 4ooth/ill ay b(eed intae hi4 as 0e depa(t? Te((y3s loo1in at one the boun.e(s- sta(in at the .unt in a lo0- b(eathless lau)h- 4a1in ehs eyes )o a0 bi)? I Gies it then- .unt- eh sni))e(s- sha1in ehs hips and pu(sin ehs lips? I =e n you F(itEy boy? Ootside- .o4e aheadG Ah )(abs ehs ai(4 n pushes u4 tae0a(ds the doo(- lau)hin li1e /u.1 at ehs panto4i4e? I C34oan- Te((ylea+e it ya da/t .untG The Ge(4an boys a(e loo1in a bit .on/used- n ye 1in tell they dinnae 0ant tae sta(t anythin) he(e- but ah34 0o((ied aboot the polis bein .alled? It 0ould )ie that +indi.ti+e auld boot oan the .oun.il )(eat pleasu(e tae see so4e s.he4ies )it ban)ed up- but oan the othe( hand it 0ould be bad publi.ity /o( the .ity i/ it 4ade the pape(s- so 0e3+e 4ibbe )oat a bit ay lee0ay yet? As lon) as nae .unt 1i.1s it o//- that is? ,i 4o+e oot- 0i Te((y 0al1in slo0ly and p(o+o.ati+ely- li1e eh3s da(in the Ge(4an boys tae hu+ a )o? Eh loo1s (oond the hall and shouts- I CC:G It3s a0 2ist /i( e//e.t- .ause Te((y ne+e( )oes tae /itba these days- let alaine 0i the 4ob? They dinnae 1en 0hat the /u.1 eh3s on aboot thou)h- n thi( no .o4in ahead? Eh loo1s a(oond- then happy thit thi(3s nae ta1e(s- eh 4o+es a0ay tae the doo(? As 0e )o oot- the auld bat? Coun.illo( =o(a) 6annonB:te0a(t- they .all the .unt- )oesF I Dou3(e a dis)(a.e to Edinbu()hG I Git oan it- .ap .hi.1- su.1 4a /u.1in .o.1- Gally (asps tae he( ho((o( and out(a)e- and 0i( oot oan the st(eet- /eelin a0 pleased but indi)nant at the sa4e ti4e?

The Muni'h *eer $estival
It3s ba((y he(e- the (o0s ay tables pa.1ed 0i dedi.ated d(in1e(s and the sounds ay the oo4pah band? I/ ye .annae )et pished in this en+i(on4ent- you ne+e( 0ill? It3s no 2ist a )ad)es3 thin) n a0- thi(3s sta.1s ay bi(ds he(e- a0 up /o( it? This is the li/e- the Ha.1e(BPsy.ho( tent at the O1tobe(/est- and the :teine(s a(e soon )aun doon a0(i)ht- /u.1in )oodstyleG Ah 0isnae that intae al.ohol any 4ai(- but this 0as the best ti4e e+e(? At /i(st 0i( a0 sittin the)ithe( at these bi)- 0ooden
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tables- but e/ti( a bit 0e sta(t 4o+in a(oond? Ah thin1 6i((ell3s the 1eenest tae .i(.ulate- .ause Gally3s (eally been nippin ehs heid aboot .ho(in? I :tall the no0- 6i((ell- eh pleads- as 6illy )ets up- I a bit ay /u.1in Ge4eins.ha/tG 6illy .an be a /unny .unt@ a )(eat )uy- but a bit pu(itani.al in so4e 0eys- li1es? :o eh 4o+es o+e( n sta(ts tal1in tae these En)lish )uys? Te((y3s eyein up the /anny e+en thou)h eh3s 0i this Hed(a bi(d? That3s Te((y@ ah lo+e u4 but eh is a total .unt? Ah o/ten thin1 that i/ he 0isnae 4y 4ate and I 2ust 4et hi4 /o( the /i(st ti4e- I3d

be .(ossin) the (oad i/ the(e 0as a se.ond yin? Ah 2oin 6illy- an9ious tae st(et.h 4y le)s? The En)lish boys see4 sound enou)h@ 0i( tal1in a0ay a load ay pished shite 0i the4F s0appin d(un1 tales- (a+e tales- /itba 4ob tales- d(u) tales- sha))in tales- a0 the usual .(ap that 4a1es li/e 0o(th li+in? At so4e point in the p(o.eedin)sthis /at .o0- ah thin1 she3s Ge(4an- )its up oan one ay the tables n she3s )oat he( toap o//- bi) tits /loppin a0 o0e( the pla.e? ,e a0 .hee( n ah (ealise that ah34 .abba)ed- 0ell pished- n the oo4pah band3s d(u4s a(e th(obbin in 4a heid and the .y4bals a(e .(ashin a0 a(oond 4a ea(s? Ah stand up- 2ist tae p(o+e that ah 1inthen ah 4o+e a(oond the tent? Gally buys 4e anothe( bi) d(in1 and says so4ethin) aboot Ge4eins.ha/t bein us- but ah .annae be bothe(ed 0i his pished shite .ause eh3s )ittin that physi.ally .lin)y 0ey eh )its 0hen eh3s /u.1ed- hudin oantae ye n d(a))in ye aboot? Ah lose hi4 and /ind 4asel sittin ne9t tae these lassies /ae Do(set o( De+on o( so4ethin) li1e that? ,i( s4ashin oo( :teine(s the)ithe( n tal1in aboot 4usi. n .lubs n pills n the usual stu//? Thi(3s one ay thu4 ah34 (eally intae- she3s a0(i)ht@ :ue- he( na4e is? :he3s no badBloo1in but it3s 4ai( .ause she sounds li1e the lassie (abbit in that Cadbu(y3s Ca(a4el ad+e(t- the one that tells the Ha(e boy tae slo0 doon- 2ist ta1e it ni.e n easy? N the Ha(e boy3s eyes a(e a0 o0e( the pla.e- a bit li1e Gally3s 0hin eh3s E3d up? =a eyes a(e 4ibbe the sa4e no0 but- .ause ah3+e )oat a +ision ay 4e n this bi(d laEily 4a1in) lo+e a0 day unde( the sun oan a :o4e(set /a(4 n soon 4a ai(43s (oond he( n she lets 4e sno) he( /o( a bit then she3s tu(nin) a0ay n 4ibbe ah34 bein too ea)e( he(e- too 4u.h lip p(essu(e ? ? ? =( Ha(e- that3s 4e- it3s a0 the te.hno- the ha(d.o(e ah3+e )oat i44e(sed in- ey0is in too 4u.h ay a hu((y so 2ist you (elaaa9 =( 3A(e ? ? ? Ootay 4a .unt oan al.oholG Ah )o up tae the ba( and buy a (ound /o( this lassie n he( 4ates 0i so4e s.hnapps as .hase(? ,e do0n the4- then :ue and I a(e up dan.in) at the /(ont tae the oo4pah band- it3s 4ai( 2ist blind /layin a(oond (eally- and this En)lish .unt- a =an. boy(#7

eh3s )ot ehs a(4 (ound 4a ne.1 and he3s )aun- I A0(i)ht- 4ate- 0he(e you /(o4- and ah34 li1e- I Edinbu()h- n this boy3s a0(i)ht 0hi.h is as 0ell .ause ah 1in see o0e( 4a shoodi( that 6i((ell3s 2ist 0ent n pun.hed so4e .unt 0ho 4i)ht be one ay this )uy3s 4ates? It didnae see4 a ha(d shot- but it3s one ay they sho(te.ono4i.al bo9e(3s pun.hes and the )uy )oes st(ai)ht o0e( oan ehs e(se? The 4ood .han)es in a st(an)e 0ayand e+en th(ou)h the 4u//led laye(s ay into9i.ation yi( sensiti+e tae it? Ah sepa(ates /ae the =an. )uy 0ho loo1s a bit sho.1ed- and .atapult /o(0a(d intae :ue n 0e3(e d(un1enly .a(ee(in) oot the tent n sta))e(in) behind this .a(a+an 0i the sound ay this )ene(ato( )aun? :he3s )ot he( hands in 4y /lies and I34 t(yin) to )et he( 2eans loose- they3(e a bit /u.1in ti)ht but ah )et a (esult? Ah /ind he( .(a.1 unde( he( pants and ah slide in one /in)e( and it3s 4oist- this3ll )o up he( .unt no dan)e(- .ause I34 ha(d as 0ell- thou)h I al0ays 0o((y 0i the al.ohol in su.h situations? :o4eti4es you( .o.1 .an be ha(d- but the (oot .an let you do0n? ,e .an3t .on/i)u(ate p(ope(ly /o( a bit- but I sit he( on top o/ this )ene(ato(- +ib(atin a0ay tae /u.1- and she3s out o/ one le) o/ he( 2eans and he( pants a(e o/ the /ai(ly loose 0hite .otton type- you .an push the4 aside 0ithout needin) to ta1e the4 o// and it3s a bit ti)ht at /i(st but it3s )oin) in a0(i)ht? ,i( /u.1in- but no in the slo0- lan)uid Cadbu(y3s Ca(a4el 0ay ah 0anted- it3s a nasty- 2e(1y tense sha)- 0ith he( p(essin) on he( hands- pushin) o// the sha1in )ene(ato( and ontae 4e? Ah34 pushin) up into he( and I34 0at.hin) the s0eat oan he( /a.e and 0e3(e a lot 4o(e est(an)ed /(o4 ea.h othe( /u.1in) than 0e e+e( 0e(e 0hen 0e 0e(e dan.in)? The(e3s shado0s lu(.hin) past us and thi(3s asso(ted loud a)itated +oi.es@ En)lish- Ge(4an- 6i((ell and /u.1 1no0s 0hat else? I34 thin1in) about )ettin) he( ba.1 to ,ol/)an) and =a(.ia3s- and that bed and so4e slo0 /u.1in)- so4e slo0 Cadbu(y3s Ca(a4el /u.1in)@ a0 lan)uid and sensual- 0hen this lassie (uns o0e( tae us but she3s no (eally seein) us .ause she3s pu1in) he( )uts out- and she3s t(yin) tae hud he( hai( ba.1 /ae he( /a.e but it3s nae )ood? No0 4a ho(iEons ha+e sh(un1 n ah34 2ust 0antin tae bla0 4a 4u.1 intae :ue? Ah .an /eel he( pushin) 4e a0ay /(o4 he( and I34 out- she3s pullin) he( 2eans le)s on and Eippin) and bu.1lin) up and I34 t(yin) to )et 4a .o.1 into 4a pants and t(oose(s- li1e a hal/B0it t(yin) tae dae a puEEle? I Dou al(i)ht- LynseyH :ue .o4/o(ts he( 4ate- 0ho 2ist (et.hes a)ain? Then she shoots 4e a )lan.e as i/ it3s 4e that3s (esponsible /i(
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this doEy .o03s .ondition? =ind you- ah boat that (oond ay s.hnapps- bit ah didnae /o(.e any .unt tae d(in1 it? It3s p(etty /u.1in ob+ious /ae :ue3s e9p(ession and body lin)o- she3s no0 tu(ned a0ay /(o4 4e- that she (e)(ets a0 this? Ah hea( he( sayin d(un1enly tae he(sel/- I Didn3t e+en ha+e a /u.1in) .ondo4 ??? so /u.1in stupid ? ? ? And 0ell- ah suppose it is n a0? :o no0 ah34 sta(tin tae hu+ (e)(ets? I Ah34 a0ay inside tae /ind the boys ??? see ye ba.1 thai(e- ah say- but she3s no listenin)- she doesnae )ie a /u.1 and neithe( ay us .a4e so it .ould ha(dly be .alled a su..ess/ul sha) by any st(et.h ay the i4a)ination? This is 2ust /u.1in) thou)hF no0t tae 0o((y aboot? Du+ )oat tae hu+ .(ap se9 o..asionally- 2ust tae )it so4e pe(spe.ti+e oan the ba((y sha))in? I/

e+e(y (ide 0is te9tboo1 po(no- then it 0ould be 4eanin)less- .ause thi(3d be nae (eal (e/e(en.e point? That3s the 0ey ye hu+ tae loo1 at it? Ah 4o+e oan- t(ippin n nea(ly /a0in o0e( a tent (ope- sta))e(in past this boy 0i a bu(st nose? Ehs 4ate3s helpin u4- eh3s )oat the )ad)e3s heid ba.1? Thi(3s a lassie /ollayin the4 )aun- I Is eh a0(aat- in a no(th ay En)land a..ent- I is eh a0(aatH They i)no(e he( n he( /a.e .(eases up n she loo1s at 4e n )oes- I ,ell /oo1 yis thenG 6ut she /ollays the4 any0ey? 6a.1 in the tent ah 0ande( (oond /o( a bit be/o(e ah see 6illy- 0ho loo1s (eally pished? Eh3s sta(in at his 1nu.1les intensely and (ubbin the4? I 6illy? ,hai(e3s GallyH ah as1- thin1in thit Te((y3ll be 0i that Hed(a bi(d- bit Gally 0is oan ehs ain? 6i((ell loo1s at ays a0 0ide n ha(d- th(ou)h slitty eyes- then eh so(t ay sees it3s 4e n (ela9es a bit? Eh st(et.hes oot the /in)e(s oan ehs hand? I Ah .annae )o a(oond hittin (ad)es- Ca(l- ah3+e )oat a bi) /i)ht .o4in up? I/ this 1nu.1le3s bu(st 7onnie3s )aunny )o .(aEy? 6it they 0i( )ittin 0ide- Ca(l? ,hat .ould ah daeH They 0i( )ittin 0ide? That3s b(utal? Te((y should3+e been he(e tae so(t it a0 ootG I Aye- (i)ht enou)h? ,hai(e3s GallyH ah as1 hi4 a)ain? Odds on thit the doss 0ee 4utant3ll3+e )ot intae bothe( so4e0hai(e? Ah34 a bit su(p(ised at 6illy thou)h- he3s 4eant tae be the sensible /u.1e(? I Eh 0is bein see1? Eh 0is see1 doon a lassie3s ba.1? Eh 0is dan.in 0i he(? ,hai(e3s Te((yH Ah hud tae de.1 th(ee (ad)es oan 4a ain? ,hai(e 0i( youseH I Ah dunno- 6illy? Ah3ll /ind the4? Dou 0ait he(e- ah tells u4? Te((y 0as 0i Gally- 0ho 0as loo1in a bit (ou)h a0(i)ht? Thi( 0is
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si.1 doon the /(ont ay ehs bla.1 TBshi(t- ehs hai( 0is sti.1in up 0i s0eat n eh 0is pantin hea+ily? Te((y 0is s4i(1in a0ay- lau)hin ehs heid oa/? I :e.ondBdi+ision 4ate(ial- eh (oa(s- tu(nin tae Hed(a and this Ge(4an )uy? I A poo( a4bassado(? Hi Gallo0ay- a.t li1e yi( Hibs /o( /u.1 sa1e? He points at Gally- sin)in)- I A(e you Ja4 Ta(ts in dis)uise ??? oh shitey- shitey@ shitey- shitey- shitey- shitey Gallo0B0ay ? ? ? Then eh suddenly nods tae 4e- I ,hai(e3s :e.(et :5ui((elH :a0 u4 /lin)in) a /e0 pun.hes ba.1 thai(e? Cunt hud loast the plot? The boys 0i(nae e+en bothe(in u4? Eh .annae handle the be++y no0? Ah thin1 eh hea(d the bell n ehs heidTe((y lau)hed? I :e.onds a0ayG Din)Bdon)G Eh sta(ts sin)in the :e.(et :5ui((el the4e tune- I He3s )at t(i.1s- up his slee+e- 4ost bad )uys .an3t belie+e ??? a bulletBp(oo/ .oat ? ? ? A s4all 0o(ldH It3s a p(i4a(yBs.hool )lobe as so4e Ge(4an boys u( .o4in up tae the )uy that3s 0i Te((yand one ay the43s 7ol/? ,e a.1no0led)e ea.h othe( st(ai)ht a0ay- sha1in hands? I ,e a(e )oin) on to a pa(ty- he says- loo1in a(oond disapp(o+in)ly at the bee(y s.ene and o+e( at the oo4pah band- still playin oanI the 4usi. 0ill be bette(? That suits 4e /ine? I 6a((y- I say? The boys 4i)ht no 1en the 0o(d- but the(e3s nae 4ista1in) the d(i/t? They say that body lin)o is at least /i/ty pe( .ent ay .o44uni.ation? Ah dinnae 1en aboot that- but spee.h and 0o(ds a(e o+e((ated? Dan.e doesnae lie- 4usi. doesnae lie? I Ah34 up /o( that- Te((y )oes- I it3s )ittin too /u.1in 4essy he(e- eh? Then eh sta(ts tal1in li1e that 0ee boy 0i the )lesses n the /eE- the one thit3s :e.(et :5ui((el3s 4ate- I ,e 0eel )et ee peel doon :ee.(eet3s ne.1 be/o(e he )oes n 1eels so4e 1a00ntG Then eh (e+e(ts ba.1 tae ehs ain +oi.e- I Git the lo+e +ibe ba.1 intae u4? The .unt thin1s it3s last o(de(s doon the /u.1in GauntletG ,i )et 6illy and 0e3(e /lounde(in in an un(uly 4ob tae the site e9its- t(ippin) o+e( tent (opes? People loo1 at us ne(+ouslyF 0e3(e li1e e9hausted sal4on t(yin tae )it upst(ea4 tae spa0n? As 0e lea+e the site- ah34 sta(tin tae )et 4a bea(in)s? ,i head /o( the .ity .ent(e- and 4a thou)hts tu(n tae that :ue bi(d and the /un ah .ould3+e hud- n ho0 it 0as a 0ea1ness tae )it so pished and slo0 and stupid oan that /a(ty auld 4an3s d(u)? ,e see4 tae be 0al1in /o( a)es? 6illy3s behind us- still (ubbin ehs hand? Eh3s shoutin ahead tae Te((y- )aunF I ,hai(e the /u.1 0i( you- La0sonH ,hai(e 0i( yisH Te((y3s 2ist lau)hin n b(ushin hi4 o//- I Aye- aye- su(e- a0(i)ht 6i((ell- a0(i)ht? :u(e- su(e- su(e ? ? ? Ah34 0o((ied thou)h- .ause 6illy
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seldo4- i/ e+e(- s0ea(s? He3s li1e his auld 4an that 0ey? Ehs b(othe( 7ab s0ea(s li1e a t(oope(- so dae the (est ay us? I AND CANT THENG 6i((ell +eno4ously s.(ea4s into the da(1ened st(eet- and e+e(ybody loo1s a0ay? Te((y (olls ehs eyes- pu(ses ehs lips n )oes- I OoooohG 7ol/ )oes tae 4e- I ,e 0ill not )et into the pa(ty 0ith hi4 the 0ay he is no0 bein)? It is possible that pe(haps 0e 0ill be a((ested instead? I It3s 4ai( thin 2ist /u.1in possible- 4ate- Te((y lau)hs? Eh3s )oat his ai(4 (oon that Hed(a bi(d- he3s no )iein a /u.1? Ah )oes ba.1 n .al4s 6illy doon- pittin 4a ai(4 a(oond ehs shoodi(s? I :tey .ool- 6illy- 0i 0ant intae the )i)- /o( /u.1 sa1esG

6illy stops n )oes a0 (i)id- then eh 0in1s at ays and loo1s as i/ nothin) has happened? I Ah a4 .ool- eh )oes- then adds- I totally .ool? Then eh hu)s 4e and says that ah34 ehs best 4ate- ey0is hu+ been? I Te((y n Gally- thai(e )(eat 4ates- bit you3(e 4a best 4ate? =ind that? :o4eti4es ah34 ha(de( oan you thin the (est- but that3s .ause you3+e )oat it? Dou3+e )oat 0hat it ta1es- eh sais- al4ost li1e a th(eat? Ah3+e ne+e( seen 6i((ell li1e this in yea(s? The pish has )one st(ai)ht tae ehs heid and the(e3s a 4ob ay de4ons behind his eyes? I Dou3+e )oat 0hat it ta1es- eh (epeats? Then eh sais ??? I b(utal- tae ehsel- unde( ehs b(eath? Ah dinnae 1en 0hat the .unt 4eans- althou)h ah app(e.iate the senti4ent? ,ell- ah suppose Fluid3s daein a0(i)ht- but it3s 2ust a )(eat ni)ht oot n a lau)h n so4e .ash n 4a poa1it? Ah slap hi4 oan the ba.1 as 0e 0al1 a.(oass this 0asteland by they (ail0ay sidin)s and .o4e intae this hu)e indust(ial estate? Thi(3s li)hts oan- n lo((ies- it3s li1e so4e .unts a(e still 0o(1in? The .lub o( (a+e o( 3pa(ty3 as the Ge(4an boys .all it- is in a hu)e.a+e(nous auld buildin) 0hi.h is ob+iously ille)ally o..upied? It3s su((ounded by 0hat loo1s li1e stillB0o(1in) /a.to(y and o//i.e units? Ah tu(n tae Gally- I I/ this doss disnae )it busted 0ithin t0enty 4inutes ah3ll li.1 Jui.e Te((y3s /o(es1in- ah lau)h at hi4- but the pe(( 0ee .ap )ad)e is still too pished tae (espond? ,e 0al1 inside? Gally3s s.(apped 4aist ay the Eo(ba oa/ ehs TBshi(t n Eipped ehs bo4be( 2a.1et up at the /(ont? Ah34 deli)hted 0hen 0e )et in- .ause it hud tu(ned (eally .auld )aun doon that (oad? Thi(3s 2ist the ba(e sound syste4 sta.1ed up a(oond a 4a1eshi/t dee2ay a(ea- but this (i) loo1s li1e it .ould handle so4e noise? It3s /illin up n ah34 thin1in that ah3d lo+e tae play he(e? :u(e enou)h- a bassline th(obs a.(oss the spa.e- (i.o.hetin) o// the
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0alls in an e.ho- as the /i(st tune )ets d(opped and the 0hole pla.e i)nites n that e9plosi+e e9.ite4ent you .an only )et as pa(t o/ a .(o0d? 6i((ell see4s tae .hill oot in the )a//- e+en be/o(e 0i )it the (ad)e a0 pilled up? It3s li1e eh asso.iates the +ibe and the 4usi. 0i pea.e? The Ge(4an .unts a(e sound? 7ol/3s thai(e 0i G(et.hen@ Gud(un and Elsa a(e p(esent n a0- n ah34 hi)hly deli)hted that G(et.hen hus )oat 4ates- 5uite a /e0 ay the4? They loo1 6undesli)a /anny n a0- but e+e(y lassie does in 4a state- as the pill soon sta(ts tae di) in.uttin) th(ou)h the slud)y laye(s o/ al.ohol- (esto(in so4e sha(pness an .la(ity? I (un intae ,ol/)an) 0ith =a(.ia? I Dou 0ill play so4e (e.o(ds- yesH I Ah 0ish ah3d b(ou)ht a ba)- 4ate- I (eally do? E+en the yins ba.1 at you(s? I The(e is al0ays late(- eh )oes? =a(.ia .hips in at this point? I Dou( /(iend 0ith the hai( is +e(y st(an)e and noisy? In the ni)ht he 0as standin) in ou( (oo4 at the botto4 o/ ou( bed ??? I sa0 hi4 in the da(1ness 0ith all this hai( ? ? ? the(e 0as no .lothin) on hi4 ??? I did not 1no0 0ho he 0as ? ? ? ,ol/)an) is lau)hin) at this- and I a4 as 0ell no0? I Des- I had )ot up to let hi4 in the house ea(lie(? I sho0ed hi4 the bed in you( (oo4- but you 0e(e asleep? I 0ent ba.1 into 4y bed e9pe.tin) that sleep 0ould /ollo0 hi4 ??? he 0ould be ha+in) sleep? Then I hea( the s.(ea4s o/ =a(.ia- and I see hi4 standin) the(e abo+e us? :o- I )et up and ta1e hi4 ba.1 to bed? 6ut he says he 0ants to )o do0nstai(s /o( 4o(e bee(? :o I )et hi4 so4e and he 0ill not let 4e )o to bed? He is /o( tal1in) to 4e all ni)ht? I .ould not (eally unde(stand hi4? He is tal1in) on and on about a lo((y o/ 2ui.e? I do not unde(stand? ,hy a(e you al0ays /o( tal1in) so 4u.h in :.otlandH I No us a0- ah p(otest? I ,hat aboot 6illyH =a(.ia tha0s a bit n s4iles- I He is +e(y ni.e? I Pe(haps he is Ge(4an- ,ol/)an) s4iles? Ah lau)h at this and pull the4 to 4e in a hu)- an9ious to +ibe 4ai( 0i this =a(.ia? ,ol/)an)3s )aun- I Ohhh ? ? ? ohhh ? ? ? Ca(l 4y /(iend- but =a(.ia still /eels a bit tense? I doubt that she3s had a pill? These E3s 7ol/3s so(ted oot a(e p(etty /u.1in )ood a0(i)ht? Dou 1in al0ays tell a )ood e.1y by the speed that the ni)ht /lies past- but 0hen the 4usi. does stop- tae loud )asps o/ e9aspe(ation- ah34 thin1in that this is (idi.ulousthey 0i(nae that )ood? Despite the e.1ies- 4a thou)hts a(e slo0 ;p(obably the pish< and it ta1es a 4o4ent be/o(e it da0ns on 4e that 4a ain 0o(ds ha+e p(o+ed a 0ee bit too p(opheti.- as the(e3s so4e uni/o(4s 4illin) th(ou)h the dan.in) .(o0ds to0a(ds the de.1s?
(7(

The polis a(e 5uite 4obBhanded and they 0ant us tae dispe(se? Te((y shouts so4ethin)- only to ha+e the Ge(4ans a0 tu(n (oond n loo1 in astonish4ent at the .unt? 7ol/ says tae ays- I Dou should tell you( /(iend that in this .ount(y the(e is little to be )ained in anta)onisin) the poli.e? Ah34 aboot tae 4a1e the point that it3s the sa4e in oo( .ount(y- but that disnae stoap us- 0hen ah suss that they boys a(e .ool .ause thi(3s a Plan 6 oan the p(o2e.t (oste( he(e? ,e de/initely a0 0ant tae .ai((y oan? 6esides- the polis he(e3+e )oat shoote(s- n ah dinnae 1en aboot Te((y o( any .unt else- but that 4a1es a hoo( ay a di//e(en.e tae ma attitude? =a lips ha+e 4yste(iously /o(4ed a laye( a 8el.(o and ah .annae 0ait tae )it as /a( /ae he(e as possible? It3s t(ue that i/ ye /u.1 0i the polis any0hai(e- thi(3s )ene(ally only )aunny be one 0inne(? 7ol/ n ehs 4ates 0i( tellin us aboot ho0 they 0i( )aunny hu+ anothe( pe(ty but they loast the doss they had

ea(4a(1ed? As 0e3(e a0 thin1in) aboot 0he(e tae )o- the )ea(3s )ittin loaded up in a se(ies ay bi) +ans and the pe(ty see4s tae .lea( a0ay as 5ui.1ly as it ste(ted? Ge(4an e//i.ien.y@ the sa4e p(o.ess 0id ta1e 4onths o0e( in the ACF e+e(y .unt 0id be stoatin aboot .abba)ed? Thi(3s a bit ay 4ild pani. sta(tin) tae set in that that 4i)ht be the end ay the ni)ht- espe.ially /ae the nonBGe(4ans? Thi(3s an En)lish boy 0i a hi)h- posh +oi.e )aun- I ,he(e a(e 0e o(/ to ne9t thenH 6i((ell3s s4ilin) .oldly at hi4? I Tae dan.e? Tae /u.1in dan.e- eh says- ehs heid noddin li1e a .lo.10o(1 toy3s? The )uy see4s a bit ne(+ous at this (esponse and tentati+ely e9tends his hand tae 6i((ell 0hae- despite bein E3d up- sha1es it in a 0ey ah thoat 0is unne.essa(ily )(a.eless? Te((y3s been listenin) tae a0 the debate and .hips in tae ,ol/)an)- I C34oan ,ol/ieBboy- lit3s )it ba.1 tae you( bit then- 4ate? ,ol/)an)3s no that .hu//ed? I The(e a(e too 4any people and the(e is 0o(1 to be done to4o((o0? I 6eha+e yi(sel- 4ate- Te((y says 0(appin) one a(4 a(ound hi4 and one a(ound a sti//- tense =a(.ia? I ,i( buddies- 0e3ll see you a0(i)ht ba.1 in :.hottland? =ates- eh 0in1s? Then eh announ.es tae e+e(ybody- I As soon as ah sa0 they .unts- ah 2ist thoatF 4ates? That 0is it- one 0o(d thit sp(un) (i)ht intae 4a 4indF 4ates? 6illy loo1s at Te((y and (aises ehs eyeb(o0s? I Dou 0i(nae e+en thai(e- eh )oes? I Eh 0isnae e+en thai(eeh e9.lai4s tae the posh En)lish boy? Eh3s no0 de.ided that this boy3s a0(i)ht n eh3s )oat ehs
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ai(4 (oond ehs ne0 best 4ate3s shoodi(? I This is Guy- eh sais tae 4e? I Eh3s so4e )uy- eh lau)hs- and the boy ne(+ously 2oins in? Ah34 thin1inF ah 0onde( ho0 4any ti4es the poo( .unt3s hea(d that yin? I I/ ah3d been thai(e ah3d3+e helped n a0- 6i((ell- Te((y p(otests? I Helped yi(sel/ tae the .ontents ay the boy3s hoose- ya (ad)e- 6illy )oes? I Eh e+en pished the boy3s 4att(ess? Dou3(e b(utal- La0son? Te((y s4iles- and 2ust disnae )ie a /u.1? Eh3s )oat that loo1 oan ehs /a.e- li1e a du) that3s been li.1in its ain ba0s and the taste is so )ood that nothin) else .o4es up tae s.(at.h? I Fu.1 o//- 6i((ell? C34oan- a 0ee pe(ty ? ?? Ah thin1 ,ol/)an)3s sta(tin tae )et the 4essa)e aboot the 4att(ess? I ,hat do you 4ean ? ? ? 0hat is he sayin)H the boy as1s- still a bit .on/used? Te((y pits ehs ai(4 (oond ehs shoodi(s a)ain? I Ah34 2ust 0indin ye up- 4ate? 6it 0e3+e )oat plenty spa.e ba.1 at you(s- so lit3s )it a 4o+e oan? Eh shouts? I Th(o0 a /u.1in pe(tyG :p(ead a bit ay lo+eG C34oanG Git the boys he(e tae b(in) the )ea(? 7ol/ nods his heid- the un0ittin) stoo)e o/ the :au)hton =ains :+en)ali? I ,ol/)an)3s is )ood /o( a pa(ty? Ah34 thin1in aboot 4a (e.o(ds ba.1 thai(e- n )ittin a shoat 0i thu4 oan they de.1s- sho0in the Ge(4an .unts a bit ay Jo.1 style? Jo.1 style ? ? ? that3s a lau)h- li1e Gally- eh3s blethe(in shite tae Elsa and Gud(un? Eh3s ta1en ehs TBshi(t oa/ n /lun) it a0ay? Thi( a0 eyes- teeth n s4iles? Eh3s )aun oan aboot ho0 thi( hai( is beauti/ul n ho0 Ge(4an )uys u(nae as (o4anti. as :.ots )uys n ah34 lau)hin 4a heid oa/- but ah suppose thi(3s naebody as (o4anti. as Gally E3d up? E9.ept 4e? I It 0ould be a /u.1in )(eat pla.e n a0 Gally- ah )oes at hi4- inte((uptin the .unt3s /lo0 ay bullshit? I Fu.1 it- Te((y sais? I 6ut the poli.e ? ? ? ,ol/)an) p(otests? I Fu.1 these .unts? They 1in only b(e1 it up a)ain? Lit3s dae it /i( dis.oG Te((y )ene(ally hus the last 0o(d- so 0e s.(a4ble intae a se(ies o/ +ans and 4oto(s- and the .on+oy heads o// doon tae ,ol/)an)3s- 0ho3s shitein it? =a(.ia3s al4ost in.andes.ent in he( silent /u(y? 7ol/ builds a spli// n ah ta1e a to1e- passin it ba.1- a+oidin 6i((ell 0hae 0a+es it a0ay any0ey? Gally3s )oat in bet0een they t0o lassies n eh3s (estin ehs heid on one3s shoodi(?
(7/

$i9ht for the Ri9ht to +art#
,e )et ba.1 tae ,ol/)an)3s n set thin)s up? E+e(y othe( .unt3s 0aitin in the /(ont )ai(din? The bal.ony 4a1es a ba((y dee2ay spa.e? The boys u+ )oat enou)h .able /o( the spea1e(s n ah3+e )ot the a4p an 4i9e( up 0i ays? It ta1es aboot t0enty 4inutes tae (i) the 0hole thin) up? They 1i.1 oa/- 0i this boy .alled Luthe( oan the de.1s? Eh3s no bad n a0? Ah34 it.hin tae )it oan- tae sho0 they Je((y .unts 0hit ah 1in dae? =a(.ia3s still 4ise(able- he( dist(ess .o4pounded by La0son3s ha+e(in)s? I It3s a0(i)ht- doll- a pe(ty ehTe((y )oes? I :ee- eh e9plains tae he(- I 0e hu+ tae /i)ht tae pe(ty? The di//e(en.e- eh elabo(ates tae he( and the othe( be4used Ge(4ans standin) a(ound- I is that 0e3(e ,est Edinbu()h Hibs? ,e3+e hud tae /i)ht /i( yea(s a)ainst the Ja4bos ??? eh tu(ns and loo1s at 4e- I no sayin no0t a)ainst the li1es ay Ca(l he(e- I but 0e3+e no hud it easy li1e a0 they .unts doon Leith? They dinnae 1en 0hit bein real Hibs is li1e?

This bullshit i4p(esses nobody- /a( less the lassie? :he has he( hands o0e( he( ea(s? I It is so loudG ,ol/)an)3s noddin) a0ay in ti4e tae the beat- eh3s +ibin intae it? Eh3s 0ell intae ehs te.hno? I Ou( :.otland /(iends 4ust ha+e thei( pa(ty- eh says- tae a bi) .hee( /ae Te((y n 4e? Gally3s )ot intae a 0ild- sensuous- e.stasy lo.1 0i they t0o 6undesli)a bi(ds- it ta1es ays a 0hile tae see it3s that Elsa n Gud(un? The th(ee ay the4 a(e sno))in ea.h othe( slo0ly in tu(ns? Eh stoaps /i( a bit and shouts at ays- I Ca(l- .34e(e? :tand he(e? Elsa? Gud(un? I Tell yis 0hat- ah )oes- I you t0o a(e the 4ost beauti/ulBloo1in bi(ds I3+e e+e( seen in 4a li/e? I Dou3(e no 0(on) the(e- Gally .on/i(4s? Elsa lau)hs- but in an en)a)ed 0ay and )oes- I I thin1 that you a(e sayin) this to e+e(y )i(l you 4eet 0hen you a(e ta1in) e.stasy? I Too (i)ht- ah tell he(- I but ah ey0is 4ean it? And ah do? Elsa and Gud(un- 0hat a pa.1a)e? Aye- that3s 0hat3s so )(eat about these 1ind ay s.enes? Dou .an ad4i(e the beauty o/ a 0o4an- but 0hen you see a load o/ the4 standin) to)ethe(- the shee(- o+e(0hel4in) e//e.t (eally does 2ust blo0 you a0ay? Eh positions ays .lose tae the4? I 7i)ht- t(y this? The lassies a(e a0 s4iles so ah )o ahead- sno))in 0i one bi(d- then the othe(? Then Gally sno)s thu4 baith a)ain? Then the t0o bi(ds sta(t sno))in ea.h othe(? =a he(t3s )aun boo4Bboo4Bboo4 n Gally (aises
(7)

they eyeb(o0s? ,o4en a(e so /u.1in beauti/ul and 4en a(e su.h do)s- i/ ah 0is a bu(d ah3d be a dy1e /o( de/o? ,hin they b(e1 oa/- one ay thu4 )oes- I No0 you t0o 4ust do the sa4e? Gally n 4e 2ist loo1 at ea.h othe( n lau)h? I Nae /u.1in .han.e- ah )oes? I Ah3ll )ie the .unt a hu)- that3s a0- eh sais- I .ause ah lo+e the bi) basta(d- e+en i/ eh is a Ja4bo .unt? Ah lo+e that 0ee .unt n a0- it 0is )ood ay hi4 tae in.lude 4e in ehs 0ee s.ene thai(e? That3s a t(ue 4ate? Ah .(ush the /u.1e( in a hu)- 0hispe(in 3G:F3 s0eetly in his ea(? I Git a /u.1in 4ob- eh lau)hs- b(ea1in o// n pushin ays in the .hest? Ah head oa/ ba.1 tae the de.1s tae .he.1 oot the sounds situ? Ah34 )led ah bou)ht so4e (e.o(ds n e/ti( bo((o0in so4e /ae 7ol/ ah3+e )oat enou)h tae dae a )ood /o(tyB/i+e 4inutes 5uality 4i9in? Ah )it (eady tae hit the de.1s? The 4i9e( loo1s a bit un/a4ilia( o( 4aybe it3s 2ust the pills- but /u.1 it- 2ist )it in thai(e? Te((y3s 2u4pin) a(oond beside ays? I C34oan- Ca(l? 6lo0 these Ge(4an .unts a0ayG NB:IGN E0a(t? That3s 4a 4an- eh sais- sha1in this Ge(4an )uy n pointin at ays I NB:IGN? Ah )ied u4 that sta)e na4e? NB:IGN E0a(tG Ah dunno 0hat Te((y3s daein tal1in aboot Ge(4an .unts- .ause ehs ain =a 0is sha))in one ay thu4 /i( lon) enou)h? 6it ah )it oan- n line up 6elt(a43s +nergy .lash. Instant e9plosion oan the /lai(G Ah3+e soon )oat the punte(s )aun- the 4usi.3s /lo0in) th(ou)h 4e- th(ou)h the +inyl- (i)ht oot the spea1e(s and intae the .(o0d? E+en thou)h 0i so4e o/ the tunes ah34 2ust hea(in) the4 in bits th(ou)h the headphones- be/o(e ah play the4but it3s .o4in) out /ine? It3s a du)3s b(ea1/ast as 0ell@ I34 4i9in) AC a.idBhouse (a+e t(a.1s li1e Beat This and We Call It &cieed in 0ith old Chi.a)o house anthe4s li1e 9o(e Can*t Turn &round and ta1in) it (i)ht ba.1 up th(ou)h to 6el)ui4 ha(d.o(e- li1e this t(a.1 Inssomnia3. 6ut it a0 0o(1s@ these sha1in) e(ses and the /ill dan.eBspa.e a(e sendin) 4e a 4essa)eF I a4 /u.1in) (i)ht on it he(e? :o4e .unt3s been oan the blo0e( .ause thi(3s 4ai( .a(s .o4in in n the 0hole pa(ty3s belo0 4e oan that /(ont la0n 0i thi( hands in the ai( n ah3+e ne+e( /elt sae )ood? This is the best yin e+e(? At the end ay it- e+e(y .unt3s o0e(- sha1in 4a hand- hu))in 4e- /ill ay p(aise? It3s (eal p(aise as 0ell- no bullshit? De )et soas ye .an tell the di//e(en.e? It
(7#

e4ba((asses the /u.1 oot ay ays 0hen ah34 st(ai)ht- but E3d up- ye 2ust a..ept it? Gally .o4es o0e( tae ays? Eh3s )oat one ay they lassies by the hand n eh3s pointin o0e( at ,ol/)an) 0ho3s dan.in slo0ly- sha1in ehs heid n hu))in e+e(y .unt that .(osses his path? I That ,ol/)an)- eh- a de/inite .apital )ad)eG Eh pills oot the e.1ies n t(ies tae )ie ays one? I Ah3ll ta1e it in a 4inute- ah )oes- sti.1in it in the top poa1it ay 4a shi(t? The pill ah hud ea(lie( is (unnin doon but ah 0ant tae 1eep oan this ad(enalin (ush (i)ht no0? Eh3s hin)in aboot 0i 7ol/@ thi( tal1in aboot )ea(- n 5uality n a0 that? Ah loo1 at 7ol/@ a 4ai( p(istine- Ge(4an- less 4ani.- less /u.1edBup Gally? ,hat Gally 4i)ht3+e been li1e hud .i(.u4stan.es been di//e(ent /i( u4? =ind you- ye dinnae (eally 1en the 7ol/ boy- it3s 2ust that eh see4s so sussed oot? Gallo0ayF 0hat is that 0ee .unt li1eH The boy3s oa/ ehs tits- tal1in aboot lo+in e+e(y .unt n this bein the )(eatest ni)ht ay ehs li/e? At one point eh stands oot oan the bal.ony tae a bi) .hee( n )ies a .len.hedB/ist salute? 7ol/ 2ust s4iles- hudin oantae Gally3s le)- n helpin u4 doon? The sun .o4es up and 0e3(e t(yin tae help by tidyin up the deb(is- 0hile still pe(tyin at the sa4e ti4e? Thi( isnae too 4u.h ay a 4ess- the punte(s ha+e (espe.ted the hoose? Despite the 0a(4th /ae the sun- it3s 4istie(

and .aulde( no0? It3s sta(tin tae /eel li1e O.tobe(@ 0inte(3s di))in in? Gally3s still up- as hi)h as a 1ite- eh3s )oat Gud(un oan ehs 1nee n eh3s tal1in) shite? Ah34 sittin) ne9t tae the4 oan the .ou.h- 0onde(in 0he(e that Elsa lassie has )oat tae? Ah s0allay the othe( pill and 0ait /o( it tae 1i.1 in? Thi(3s still a /e0 people le/t o0e(thou)h the 4ain heads /ae the syste4 ha+e pa.1ed up? ,e3(e ba.1 oantae ,ol/)an)3s s4alle( a4p- 4i9e( and spea1e(s? 7ol/3s daein a 4ello0 set- 0hi.h sounds o1ay? Gally says tae 4e- I Ah3+e )oat tae )ie it tae yeCa(l- ye 0i( b(illiant? Dou3+e )oat so4ethin)- 4an? Li1e 6illy- 0i the bo9in? De 1in 4i9 a tune? The li1es ay 4e- 0e3+e )oat /u.1 all? Dou3(e 6usiness 6i((ell- eh nods tae 6illy- 0hae3s sittin .(ou.hed oan the /loo(- then tae 4e- I n you3(e NB:IGN? Ah 4a1e /leetin eye .onta.t 0i 6illy n 0e3(e sh(u))in? Gally3s ne+e( tal1ed li1e this be/o(e- bu44in us upand the .unt 4eans it n a0? Then ah loo1 o0e( at Te((y- sittin oan a beanba) 0i Hed(a? Eh3s no 0o(1ed /o( a)es? Ah 1in see thit eh3s no happy aboot 0hat Gally3s said? I Hi Gud(un- that3s NB:IGN E0a(t- eh points at 4e and eh3s said that one hund(ed ti4es at least a0 ni)ht- 0hi.h is still less than Te((y- but eh3s sha1in the lassie soas she loo1s at ays- n eh3s )aun(77

I NB:IGN? Eh 0is in that 4a)aEine- D8, youse 4i)ht no )it it he(e ??? it hud a bit aboot the up n .o4in dee2ays /i( the nineties ? ? ? Ah dinnae thin1 Te((y bothe(s that 4u.h but? He3ll al0ays )et by- du.1in n di+in? It3s the natu(e ay the beast? The Gud(un lassie stands up n )oes tae the bo)s? :he3s a 0ee honey n a0- n ah 0at.h he( depa(t- app(e.iatin) he( easy- )(a.e/ul 4o+e4ents? Gally doesnae see4 tae be noti.in) thou)h- .ause eh loo1s at ays- then eh3s sta(in ahead intae spa.e? I They tell ye that ah seen the bai(n- 0i he( n hi4- be/o(e 0e .a4e oot he(eH Te((y and 6illy both 4entioned it tae ays? It didnae sound )ood? Ah )(ind 4a teeth? 7i)ht no0 ah34 no (eally 0antin tae hea( aboot the Gally n Gail n Pol4ont sho0- /eatu(in) spe.ial )uests Ale9ande( 3DoEo3 Doyle and 6illy 36usiness3 6i((ell- yet a)ain? No he(e? No the no0? 6ut the boy is upset? I Ho03s she daeinH ah as1? Gally3s still loo1in oa/ intae spa.e? Eh disnae 0ant tae 4eet 4a eyes? Ehs +oi.e )oes lo0? I Didnae (eally 1en 4e- eh no? Calls hi4 daddy? Hi4- eh? Te((y3s hea(d this- and eh ta1es a to1e /ae a spli// be/o(e tu(nin and sh(u))in tae Gally? I That3s the 0ey it )oes? =ine .alls that .unt daddy n a0? A bi)- /u.1in )a01y t0at- n he .alls hi4 daddy? It3s 2ist the 0ey it )oes but- eh? He3s the .unt that pits the nosh in he( 4ooth n that3s it? I Disnae 4a1e it (i)htG Gally says- it .o4in oot in a pani.1y p(i4al sh(ie1? And ah34 /eelin /o( the .unt no0- (eally /eelin /o( Gally- .ause it3s the 0o(st thin) in the 0o(ld /o( hi4? I :he3ll 4ind ay ye- Gally- it 2ist needs ti4e- ah say? Ah dinnae 1en 0hy ah opened 4a 4ooth- ah3+e no )oat a .lue- it 2ist see4ed the (i)ht thin) tae say? Gally3s (eally )one intae a bad /(a4e ay 4ind? It3s li1e thi(3s a .loud abo+e ehs heid n it3s )ittin bla.1e( by the 4inute? I Na0- the bai(n3s bette( oa/ 0ithoot 4e? Di( (i)ht- Te((y? It3s 2ust a blob ay spun1- that3s a0 ah 0is i+i( /u.1in 0o(th- eh sais- ehs /a.e a0 t0isted? I Jist aboot 4a /i(st /u.1in (ide? O//ay Gail? Ei)hteen yea(s auld? Deli)hted that ah3d popped 4a .he((y? Ho0 unlu.1y is that ??? ah 4ean ??? ah dinnae 4ean that ? ? ? Ah )lan.e at Te((y- 0hae (aises his eyeb(o0s? Ah3+e ni+i( hea(d Gally tal1 li1e that be/o(e? =ind you- ah thou)ht the .unt ne+e( )oat ehs hole ba.1 in the ea(ly days? Thi( 0is ey0is tal1 but a lot ay it 0is silly tal1? The play)(oond- the .anteen- the pub? No al0ays- but o/ten? Ah34 /eelin )(eat n a0? Ah dinnae 0ant this- ah 0ant Gally tae /eel
(7*

li1e 4e? I Loo1- this .on+e(sation3s )ittin a 0ee bit dep(essin? It3s a pe((yG Fu.1 sa1e- GallyG Dou3(e a youn)- /it 4anG I Ah34 a /u.1in 0aste(- a /u.1in d(u))y- eh s.o//s in sel/Bloathin)? Ah loo1 at his 0ee baby /a.e n pin.h ehs .hee1 bet0een 4a thu4b and /o(e/in)e(? I Tell ye 0hat- ye still loo1 in p(etty )ood ni.1- Gally- /o( a0 the abuse ye )ie yi(sel? Eh3s still no hu+in it but? I It3s a0 inside but- 4ate- eh lau)hs in a lo0- hollo0 0ey that .hills 4e? Then eh loo1s a bit thou)ht/ul and says- I De 1in s.(ape a du)3s shite oot the )utte( n pit it in a /an.y )i/t bo9 0i a )litte(in) bo0- but it3s still a pie.e ay du) shite in a boa9- eh says ha(shly? I The (id bill3s in the post- eh la4ents? I C34oan- Gally- ah sais tae u4- I ah said that ye loo1ed a0(i)ht- ah 0idnae )o as /a( as a /an.y )i/t bo9 0i a )litte(in) bo0? Ceep the /u.1in heid- sonG E/ti( a0- ah stand up n laun.h intae 4a i4pe(sonation ay auld 6la.1ie /ae the s.hool@ I :o4e say that the(e is no (oo4 /o( so.ial edu.ation and (eli)ious 1no0led)e in a 4ode(n .o4p(ehensi+e edu.ation syste4? I di//e( /(o4 this /ashionable +ie0? Fo( ho0 .an an edu.ation syste4 be t(uly .o4p(ehensi+e i/ it does not ha+e :OCIAL edu.ation and 7ELIGIOA: 1no0led)eH At last the .unt sta(ts lau)hin? 6illy3s been listenin tae a0 this and (ises tae his /eet? I C34oan- Gally- lit3s ta1e a 0ee 0al1- 6illy says- n Gally stands up? That Gud(un lassie3s .o4in ba.1 n 6illy stands ba.1 n nods tae Gally? Eh .hee(s up e+en 4ai( and they head o// the)ithe(- intae the )ai(din?

,ol/)an)3s oan the de.1s no0- and eh3s ta1in thin)s ba.1 up a)ain? 7ol/3s sha1in ehs heid n lau)hin? The bi) .unt3s pit a 1ille( t(a.1 oan thou)h- n ah34 /eelin) the tin)lin) nausea ay this pill di))in) in and i/ ah dinnae )it up (i)ht no0 ah3ll )ou.h (i)ht oot? People a(e .o4in oa/ the beanba)s n .hai(s- oantae thi( /eet- oantae the /lai(? Ah 4ust )it a .opy ay that yin- /ind oot 0hat it is? The /lai(3s /ill ay Ge(4ans dan.in)- a0 e9.ept =a(.ia- 0ho is- as they say- not a4used? The Ge(4ans a(e a0(i)ht- that NaEi shite .ould happen any0he(e? They tell us that NaEis a(e 0ei(d- but thi( p(obably nae 0ei(de( o( 4ai( pe(+e(ted thin libe(als? It 0is 2ist thit ti4es .han)ed n e+e(y .unt /lipped o0e(? It .ould happen anyti4e- any0hai(e? It see4s tae 4e that the 0ey thin)s a(e )aun.apitalis43s ey0is )aunny be +olatile? The (i.h3ll th(o0 in thi( loat 0i any .unt that (esto(es o(de( but3ll let the4 1eep 0hat they3+e )oat? It3ll happen a)ain 0ithin the ne9t thi(ty yea(s? That3s the thin) that )oat 4e? The NaEis a(enae so4e .unt else? E+e(y .unt- e+e(y nation3s )oat it in the4 tae dae e+il 2ist li1e e+e(y
(79

pe(son hus? N they usually dae it .ause thi( s.a(ed o( .ause thi( pit doon by e+e(y .unt else? The 0o(ld3s only )aunny )it bette( 0i lo+e n ah34 )aunny help sp(ead it th(ou)h 4usi.? That3s 4a 4ission- that3s 0hy ah34 NB :IGN? Ca(l E0a(t- they ni+i( li1ed that boy- .ause he 0is the da/t laddie that )a+e the NaEi salute in /(ont ay the tabloid photo)(aphe( tae 0ind the4 up 0hen eh 0is 0i ehs /itba 4ates? A da/t laddie- didnae e+en 1en 0hat a NaEi 0is- only that he3d al0ays been tau)ht tae detest the4? Eh 2ist 1ent that it 0ound up e+e(y posh .unt in the 0o(1 0ho loo1ed at hi4 and hea(d his s.he4ie +oi.e and thou)ht that eh 0as 0hite t(ash? They didnae li1e Ca(l E0a(t- 0hiteBt(ash s.he4ie? 6ut they li1ed NB:IGN? NB:IGN3s played at 0a(ehoose pe(ties in London- (aised /unds /o( antiB(a.ist )(oups- a0 so(ts ay dese(+in) .o44unity o()anisations? They lo+e NB:IGN? They3ll ne+e(- e+e( )et thi( heids (oond the /a.t that the only di//e(en.e bet0een Ca(l E0a(t and NB:IGN is that one 0o(1ed li/tin bo9es in a 0a(ehoose /o( nae 4oney 0hile the othe( played (e.o(ds in one /i( tons ay it? That they .hoose tae t(eat the t0o so di//e(ent tells ye a loat 4ai( aboot thai4 than it does aboot Ca(l E0a(t o( NB:IGN? Fu.1 all that thou)h- ah34 )aunny be s4a(t and (i)hteous /ae no0 on? Tae be tou.hed by (eal lo+e (e5ui(es )(eat /o(tune- it3s no in you( hands? The best ye .an do- 0hat is in yi( po0e(- is tae a.5ui(e )(a.e? Ah )it up and shu//le /o( a bit oan the /lai( 0i 7ol/ and G(et.hen? Then ah hea( Te((y tal1in tae 6illy in the bi) hall0ay- n )o n in+esti)ate? 6illy3s oan the stai(s- .lose tae this a4aEin)Bloo1in) lassie? :he3s a /u.1in A4aEon- d(essed tae 1ill in this ti)ht- bla.1 and 0hite dia)onalBst(iped d(ess- he( blonde hai( piled up- and 0ith the bea(in) o/ total a((o)an.e and sel/Bobsession that tells you that she3ll be a b(illiant (ide but nothin) else? In 6illy3s state ay 4ind that3ll be 4ai( than enou)h? Hed(a3s the(e as 0ell- I thin1 the bi) lassie3s he( 4ate? The .unts dinnae see 4e? I Gally3s oa/ ehs /u.1in heid@ ah 0o((y aboot that boy so4eti4es- Te((y )oes? I A0 that stu// aboot 4a /o(es1in? ,hat 0is that abootH Dou tell 4eG I Eh3s 2ist ta1in the pish? Hu+in a 0ee lau)h- eh- 6illy says- annoyed that Te((y3s dist(a.ted hi4 /ae that bi) bi(d eh 0is ob+iously .hattin) up? La0son3s p(obably t(yin tae 4us.le in- e+en thou)h eh3s 0i Hed(a? I Aye- bit thi(3s 0eys n 4eans ay hu+in a lau)h? Ah dinnae 1en 0hat happened tae hi4 in the ni.1? Cunt 0is p(obably )ittin sha))ed
(*0

by so4e bi) /u.1in soapdod)e( s.(e0? That3s ho0 eh3s obsessed 0i othe( )uys3 .o.1s? I Dou( /(iend is /o( )oin) both 0aysH Hed(a s4iles? I 6ullshit- 6illy says- at Te((y thou)h- loo1in) at 4e to ba.1 hi4 up? Te((y3s )oat a point eh /eels eh hus tae 4a1e thou)h? I Eh ni+i( tal1s aboot it? :o4ethin) 0ent oan 0i hi4 in thai(? De see ho0 eh3s been sin.e 0e3+e been he(eH Ap and doon li1e a /u.1in yoByo? Ah .hips in- still a bit span)led 0i this pill- I Gie the boy a b(e1- TeE? Ehs auld 4an3s ne+e( oot the 2ail n Gally did t0o yea(s /o( no0t- n 0i a0 1en 0hat happened e/ti( that? It 0is no0t tae dae 0i anythin) that 0ent oan in the ni.1? Te((y loo1s )(i4ly at 4e? Eh3s a bit pished- althou)h eh huds a d(in1 0ell? Te((y ne+e( (eally )oat intae pills? I Ah 1en eh3s hud a bad ti4e? Ah lap the .unt up? De dinnae hu+ tae bu4 up Gally tae 4e- Ca(l? Eh3s 4a best 4ate ? ? ? 0ell- you t0o n a0- n that3s no the be++y tal1in? Thi(3s 2ist so4e /u.1in /unny shit )aun oan 0i that .unt so4eti4es? Eh3s a0 /u.1in .o4petiti+e 0i ye o0e( nothin- then eh sta(ts bu44in e+e(y .unt up n pittin ehsel doon? I The thin) aboot Gally but- ah )oes- I is thit eh3s )oat a (eal sense ay in2usti.e? ,i hi4 )aun tae the 2ail li1e that? 6illy loo1s .oldly at 4e? I =ibbe ehs 0ee lassie3s )oat a sense ay in2usti.e n a0- eh )oes? Ah /eel 4a blood /(eeEe a 0ee bit- e+en th(ou)h the pill? Te((y loo1s at 4e- then at 6i((ell- I That 0is a /u.1in a..ident- 6illy- you3(e oot ay o(de( thai(e? 6illy (aises ehs eyes in a b(ie/ /li.1e(? I It %is an a..ident- 6illy- you 1en that- ah a)(ee?

6illy nods- I Ah 1en- but 0hat ah34 sayin is that a..idents3+e )oat a habit ay happenin) 0hen ye a.t li1e an e(se? Te((y )(inds ehs teeth? I It a0 sta(ted 0i that /u.1in HeidBTheB6a0 .unt- that Pol4ont? Hi4 and ehs 4ateDoyle- they need tae be telt a)ain? ,e 2ist lit that yin hin) /o( a 0hile- .onside(in) ou( i4poten.e- /eelin) its (an)e and ou( li4itations? Te((y3s /ill ay bullshit- n ah loo1s at 6illy and (aises 4a eyes- n ah 1in tell he3s thin1in the sa4e thin)? Pol4ont3s a 0an1e(- but eh3s .onne.ted n thi(3s no 0ay Te((y3s )aunny tell the li1es ay Doyle3s 4ob anythin)? 6illy hud a )o- but it3s be.ause he3s .onne.ted 0i so4e (eal hea+y .unts th(ou)h 0hat he does? 6ut 0i the li1es ay 4e n Te((y ye dinnae )et oan the 0(on) side ay they .unts(*1

unless ye 0ant tae 4a1e it yi( li/e3s 0o(1? And it 4i)ht be a sho(t li/e? Cause it ne+e( ends 0i these /u.1e(sne+e( e+e(? Fu.1 that- ah3+e )oat othe( thin)s ah 0ant tae dae 0i 4a li/e? No 4atte( ho0 tidy ye thin1 yi( ain 4ob is- ye3+e )oat tae 1en yi( pla.e in the pe.1in o(de(? The .e4ete(y3s /ill ay .unts that ne+e( lea(ned that? Thi(3s .e(tain le+els ye ne+e( 0ant tae )o tae? End o/? Te((y3ll no lit this )o? Eh loo1s at 6illy li1e a .hallen)e? I Doyle n that Pol4ont .unt? They3ll )it thai(es? 6illy sh(u)s li1e eh disnae 0ant tae .o44it ehsel? Te((y3s a /ly .unt- eh 1ens ho0 tae 0o(1 oan us- eh 1ens 0hae tae push and 0hi.h buttons tae hit? Ah34 0ide /o( the .unt3s )a4e thou)h? I No oa//ay 4e thi3ll no- ah tell u4? I Fu.1 ha+in a +endetta 0i they .unts- Te((y? De3ll ne+e( beat thai4- .ause that3s thai(e li/e? ,e3+e )oat othe( thin)s tae dae? I They3(e no as ha(d as they thin1- Te((y )oes tae 4e? I Li1e up Lothian 7oad yon ti4e? Doyle 0is tooled up- n Gent 0is thai(- but 6illy still did thu4 baith? Pol4ont )oat ehs e(se 1i.1ed n a0- :au)hton =ains3 Fo)ho(n Le)ho(n )oes? I That3s a0 ah34 sayin- Ca(l? ,e a0 1en that it3s 2ust tal1 but? D(un1s3 tal1- the 4aist bo(in 1ind 0hin yi( E3d? I Fu.1 it- ah say tae hi4then tu(n tae 6illy? I Dou3+e )oat the (i)ht idea- i/ ye hu+ tae /i)ht- dae it in the (in)- /o( 4oney- ah )o? Ah34 t(yin tae 1eep 6illy in a )ood /(a4e ay 4ind- but ah34 loo1in at that bi) s.a( oan ehs .hin that Doyle )ied u4 0i the /lensin) 1ni/e? De 1no.1 a nutte( oan the de.1 0i a /e0 pun.hes- e/ti( eh3s s.a((ed ye /o( li/e? Then ye hu+ tae 0o((y aboot .o4eba.1s .ause e+e(y .unt says ye did u4? ,hae3s 0onH Nae .unt- it see4s tae 4e? It3s o/ten the 0ey 0i +iolen.e@ e+e(y .unt su//e(s a s.o(in) de/eatF

6I77ELLB'- DODLE '?
I Aye ??? eh )oes nonB.o44ittally- then eh thin1s aboot it n saisI Ah hud a 0o(d 0i 4a 0ee b(a( aboot a0 this .asuals stu//- e/ti( hi4 )ittin done at Dundee? Ah3+e al0ays li1ed 6illy3s b(othe( 7ab? He3s a sound )uy? I These thin)s happen- ah say? Te((y3s loo1in a0 disdain/ul? 6illy .at.hes this and 4a1es a point? I It3s as 0ell a0 the Hibs boys 0e(e the(e that ni)ht 0i hud the (unBin 0i Doyle? It 0is Le9o n that thit so(ted it a0 oot- eh tells Te((y? I It 0is you that de.1ed bi) Gent but- 6illy- Te((y s4iles? 6illy3s /a.e is still li1e it3s set in stone? B Eh 0is )ittin (i)ht ba.1 up
(*(

thou)h- Te((y? N eh 0id3+e 1ept )ittin up till eh )oat these bi) hands oan ays? Doyle n a0? Ah 0is )led ay Le9o n that )ittin in bet0een us? I Thai( a0 /u.1in (ad)es n a0 but- Te((y )oes? Ah 2ist sta(ts lau)hin 4a heid oa/ at La0son3s .hee1? I It 0isnae that 0hin you )oat done at that HibsB 7an)e(s )a4e at Easte( 7oad? =ind ay thatH Top Hibs thu) Te(en.e La0son o/ the E4e(ald =a/iaG It 0is a )ood oppo(tunity tae b(e1 the i.e- and 0e a0 sta(t lau)hin? I That 0is yon1s a)o? Ah 0is 2ist a da/t 0ee laddie- Te((y says? I 6i) .han)es sin.e they days- (i)ht enou)h- ah s4iles sa(.asti.ally? I Chee1y .unt- Te((y lau)hs? That .unt3s )oat so4ethin) up ehs slee+e- ah 1en it? :o4ebody3s due /o( a sla))in La0sonBstyle- .ause the basta(d3s still s4a(tin /ae bein tu(ned o+e( by Gally aboot the /o(es1in? 6illy loo1s at Te((y- I :oas oo( 7ab? Eh3s still youn)? I Eh3s t0enty- 6illy- eh should 1en bette( by no0- Te((y says? 6illy loo1s in.(edulous? I Dou 0i( se+enteen- Te((y- thi(3s no 4u.h bet0een se+enteen n t0enty? I No in yea(s- but in e9pe(ien.e thi( is? This is )aunny )et as pedanti. as /u.1? Ah loo1 at 6illy? I 7ab isnae a ha(d4an- 6illy- eh3s 2ist daein it tae t(y n i4p(ess you? Ah lap 7ab up- but eh3s no a /i)htin )uy? 6illy sh(u)s a)ain- but eh 1ens it3s t(ue? 7ab3s ey0is loo1ed up tae 6illy? 6illy3s no that bothe(ed thou)h.ause eh3s .au)ht the eye ay yon bi) A4aEon bi(d a)ain- she3s sittin 0i he( othe( 4ate /u(the( up the stai(tal1in n s4o1in bla0? It3s /unny- bit i/ ah 0is pished- ah3d be loo1in up he( d(ess- but E3d- ye ne+e( (eally thin1 aboot bein) li1e that? Ah loo1 at 0he(e Te((y3s eyes a(e- and su(e enou)h- thi( da(tin (i)ht up thai(? Eh3s still

)oat an ai(4 (oond Hed(a n a0- n that bee( boatil p(essed tae ehs lips? Ah )et up and st(et.h? I Ah34 no )aunny be sti.1in aboot in :.otland that 4u.h lon)e(? :.otland- 6(itainit3s a0 a load ay shite- ah (ant? I Ah 4ean :eti(day telly- (eB(uns ay that 0nly .ools n $oarses /ae 0ay ba.1 tae $# ? Fu.1 that- ah tell the4? That )its thu4 )aun? 6illy3s )aun oan aboot :.otland bein the best pla.e in the 0o(ld- 0hile Te((y sta(ts tae say so4ethin) aboot Tales ay the 'ne-!ected bein the only )ood thin) oan the bo9 no0adays? No that ah )ie a toss? Ah34 /u.1ed- but ah34 thin1in aboot 4ai( pills /o( late(? I 6et ye that 0ee .unt Gally3s ne.1ed a0 the pills- ah spe.ulate- 1no0in the ans0e(? Te((y3s )oat ehs hand oan Hed(a3s thi)h and eh3s st(o1in) it slo0ly
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in a (ela9ed 4anne(? It3s 0ei(d tae see u4 that 0ey- as you ne+e( thin1 o/ Te((y as bein) .apable o/ sensuouse9plo(ato(y lo+eB4a1in)? Then a)ain- the .unt p(obably thin1s 2ust the sa4e about 4e- that I34 2ust a s0eaty hu4pe(? It3s st(an)e 0at.hin that 4otion- it see4s to su))est othe( possibilities /o( Te((y? O( 4aybe no? as the .unt sta(ts ponti/i.atin)- I Gallo0ay 4ust ha+e /u.1ed ehsel )oodstyle by no0? That 0ee (ad)e3s ans0e( tae a ni)ht oot is tae 1eep it )aun as lon) as eh 1in by th(o0in 4ai( pills n speed at it? E+en thou)h 0i( oan hoaliday n it3ll a0 be thai( /i( u4 in the 4o(nin- eh .annae 2ist .hill n hit the sa.1? Eh3s )oat a 0ee doll oan ehs ai(4 )antin tae .li4b intae it 0i u4- n eh3s still )oat tae stey upG ,e3(e a0 sp(a//in a0ay- and 7ol/3s .a4e o+e( 0i a .ouple ay his 4ates? Gally n Gud(un .o4e ba.1 n 0e )o oan th(ou)h tae the so/a n beanba)s- lea+in 6i((ell oan the stai(s 0i the bi) lassie in the st(iped d(ess n he( 4ate? It3s 0indin doon a bit- so ye 1in hea( yi(sel/ thin1? Ah 4ention :ue- the Festi+al site Cadbu(y3s Ca(a4el 7abbit lassie- 0hi.h is a 4ista1e- .ause Te((y3s eyes li)ht up? I :he 4i)ht ha+e sounded li1e a /u.1in (abbitbut she .e(tainly didnae )it the .han.e tae sha) li1e one- eh lau)hs loudly? Gally3s sta(ted s4i(1in? Ah .an /eel 4a 2a0 sta(tin tae sla.1en? ,hat the /u.13s )aun oan he(eH I :ee- Te((y e9plains- I 0e sa0 it a0 4ate? ,i hud (in)side seats? Antil it a0 )oat too 4u.h? Gallo0ay )oes- I Tell ye 0hat- ye 0i( lu.1y she 0is sittin oan that )ene(ato(- that 0is the only 0ey she3d be thin1in the Ea(th 4o+edG Te((y3s )(innin li1e a paedophile that3s landed a 2oab as a depa(t4entBsto(e :anta Claus? I Aye- 0e dee1s the =il1y 6a( Cid3s s0eaty- pi4ply 0hite e(se )aun up n doon li1e the .lappe(s n the lassie loo1in as bo(ed as /u.1- eh e9plains /i( the bene/it ay Hed(a- 7ol/- G(et.hen- Gud(un n the othe( Ge(4an punte(s? I :he 0isnae .hu//ed 0hin she loo1ed o0e( his shoodi( n sa0 us a0 0at.hinG Then the lassie3s 4ate .a4e by? :he 0is i4p(essed? It (eally )oat he( tu(ned on ? ? ? Te((y3s that sha1in 0i lau)hte( eh 1in ha(dly )it it oot? ,i( a0 b(i.1in oo(sels thou)h? I :he th(e0 upG Gally lau)hs- I It 4ade 4e th(o0 up n a0? Delayed (ea.tionG Te((y3s ob+iously been on a (aid tae the /(id)e- .ause he3s )oat so4e boatils ay bee( stashed unde( a beanba)? Eh opens one 0i ehs teeth- n ta1in note ay 6i((ell3s absen.e )oes- I N the(e 0is ou( )ood /(iend 6usiness 6i((ell th(ou)h thai(e- batte(in e+e(y .unt- eh s0it.hes
(*/

intae s.hooltea.he( 4ode- I not e9a.tly a p(etty si)ht- =( E0a(t- but so4e0hat less u)ly thin 0at.hin you )ittin yi( holeG ,hen you3(e pi.1ed /o( a sla))in li1e this- you3+e 2ist )oat tae ta1e it- no0t else /i( it? Ah (oll 0i the psy.holo)i.al pun.hes until they )it /ed up? Then- e/ti( a (espe.table ti4e soas it isnae .onst(ued as ta1in the .(ea4 pu//- ah head o// intae the )(ounds /i( a st(oll? Te((y /ollo0s 4e- says eh needs tae pish? De 1in tell eh3s (eally )one tae spy oan 6illy but? As 0e )o- 0e see 6illy )aun past us- headin up the stai(s tae0a(ds the bed(oo4 0i this bi)- tall supe(4odel lassie? Ah hea( Te((y3s +oi.e /ae behind 4e- I It loo1s li1e :e.(et :5ui((el3s oan ehs =o(o..o =oleG 6illy sha1es ehs heid and s4iles at 4e as ah 0al1 oot tae the patio? It ne+e( ta1es Te((y lon) tae /ind a ne0 sla))in ta()et? Ah )et ootside- intae the )a(den? The li)ht3s still .o4in) up- but 4ottled- 0ideo .louds a(e .oastin) tae0a(ds us /ae o0e( the 4ountains- .a((yin) the da(1ness 0i the4- 2ust in ti4e /o( the .o4edo0n? De ey0is hu+ tae pey /i( yi( /un at so4e point- and- )ene(ally spea1in- the 4ai( ye pe(ty- the 4ai( ye pey? The li)hts /ae the hoose a(e oan- and thi(3s still a lot ay people sittin a(oond- 0(apped up- but en2oyin the ai(? That En)lish boy Guy .o4es up tae ays? I That 0as a b(illiant set ea(lie(- eh )oes? I Chee(s- ah )o- a bit e4ba((assed? I Cobbled the)ithe( a 0ee bit- /ae a load ay odds and ends? I Deah- but it 0o(1ed thou)h? Dou pulled it o//? Listen- eh says- I I34 (unnin) a .lub ni)ht do0n in southB east London? It3s .alled I4plode? I Ah3+e hea(d ay it? I Des- and I3+e hea(d o/ Fluid?

I AyeH I Oh yeah- 4ost de/initely? It )ets a lot o/ (espe.t- eh tells 4e? Dou 2ust ha+e to stand the(e sha1in yi( heid- and you .an3t e+en be)in tae say ho0 this /eels tae a s.he4ie /(o4 Edinbu()h that so4ebody- (unnin) a na4e .lub in London- has hea(d o/ hi4- let alone (espe.ts hi4? I Chee(s? I Listen- ho0 do you /an.y .o4in) do0n to London and playin)H O/ .ou(se- the(e3ll be a de.ent /ee and 0e3ll pay all e9penses- Guy e9plains? I And 0e3ll loo1 a/te( you and sho0 you a )ood ti4e? Do ah /an.y thatH I .ould thin1 o/ a lot 0o(se? ,e e9.han)e telephone nu4be(s- 4atey hu)s and business handsha1es? This boy3s a0(i)ht? Ah 0isnae
(*)

too su(e at /i(st- be.ause ah3+e )oat a bit ay a .hip oan 4a shoodi( 0i posh .unts? 6ut eh3s a0(i)ht? It3s the pill- it )its (id ay a0 that shite? De 2ist .he.1 in the ba))a)e n sta(t a)ain? Then ah see so4ethin) else ah de/initely /an.y- the bi(d that 0is sno))in 0i ays ea(lie(- 0i Gud(un n Gally? Elsa he( na4e is- and she3s tal1in tae a .ouple ay he( 4ates? Ah 4o+e o+e( tae he( and she a.1no0led)es 4e 0i a hu)- d(apin) he( ai(4s a(oond 4a shoodi(s? I Hello bayBbee ? ? ? she s4iles b(oadly? :he3s still pilled oa/ he( tits@ she tells 4e she3s ta1en a se.ond one and it3s 2ust be)innin) tae settle in? =a hands )o (oond he( 0aistas /as.inated by the te9tu(e ay the 4ate(ial ay he( toap as the .ontou(s ay he( body? This en+i(on4ent 4a1es li/e- hu4an (elations- so si4ple and easy? Ho0 shite and )(ubby and ho0 lon) all this 0ould ha+e ta1en in the pub- o( at a pa(ty /ull o/ d(in1? ,e head o// /o( a st(oll to)ethe(- 4a ai(4 (oond he( 0aist- 4y hand (ubbin) he( 2eans at the hip? The botto4 ay the )ai(den dips- and 0e loo1 o0e( the t(eesdo0n tae the la1e 0i the 4ountains in the ba.1)(oond? I G(eat +ie0- ehH This is a beauti/ul pa(t o/ the 0o(ld? The best e+e(? Ah lo+e it he(e- 4e? :he )aEes at 4e and li)hts he( /a)- s4ilin) in a laEy- dist(a.ted 0ay? I I a4 /(o4 6e(lin? 8e(y di//e(ent- she says? ,e sit and loo1 at ea.h othe(- sayin) nothin)- but I34 thin1in aboot the ni)ht and 1no0in that this is 0he(e ah 0ant tae be /o( e+e(F the 4usi.- the .(a.1- the t(a+el- the d(u)s and a pai( ay eyes and lips li1e this in 4a .oupon? Ah li1e it he(e- n ah34 no (eally 2o1in aboot 6(itain n a0- it is a load ay /u.1in shite? Any .unt 0hae disnae hu+ a sil+e( spoon in thi( 4ooth o( isnae p(epa(ed tae be an a(seBli.1in) 0an1e( .annae li+e 0ithin the la0 ba.1 thai(? No 0ay? Ah34 o// tae London? N 7ol/ and ehs 4ates 0ant us tae play at this .lub ni)ht at the Ai(po(t in No+e4be(? Ah34 e+en thin1in ay 2ist /u.1in it a0 n steyin (i)ht th(ou)h@ lea(n a bit ay the lin)o- 2ust en2oy the .han)e? =e n Elsa sno) /o( a bit then ta1e a 0al1? :oon 0e3ll be )ittin intae that bi) bed in that 0ee lassies3 (oo4 on.e I3+e 4ade su(e that Te((y )ets the /u.1 ba.1 tae Hed(a3s? O( bette( still- lea+e hi4 tae that n ah3ll )o 0i Elsa 0hen she3s (eady tae lea+e? Ah34 no lettin he( ootay 4a si)ht- that3s /i( su(e? :o4eti4es ye hit the ti4e ay yi( li/e 0hin yi( loo1in /i( a 0ee bit 4ai( thin 2ist a sha)? ,hen 0e )et ba.1 in- o0e( tae the hoose- the(e3s a bi) .o44otion? Gally3s .li4bed up onto the (oo/ and he3s balan.in) on the tiles- about /o(ty /oot up?
(*#

I GIT DOON FAE THAI7E GALLO,AD DA ,EE 7ADGEG
6illy3s (a)in? Gally3s eyes loo1 0ei(d@ it3s shittin) us all up- it3s li1e the .unt3s 2ust )one? Ah (un inside and le) it up the stai(s tae the toap? Thi(3s a pai( ay le)s dan)lin oot the s1yli)ht? Fo( a se.ond ah thin1 it3s Gally .o4in doonbut 7ol/ tells ays that it3s Te((y n eh3s )oat stu.1- t(yin tae )et up a/te( hi4? Gud(un3s loo1in a0 tense and 0o((ied? I He 2ust 1issed 4e and (an up the(e- she says- a0 /(au)ht? I Is so4ethin) 0(on)H I Eh3s 2ust oa/ ehs tits? Eh3s al0ays been a .li4be(- ah tell he(- but ah34 0o((ied he(e? The 0hole s.ene is /u.1in su((eal? A0 ah 1in see ay Te((y is ehs )ut and ehs le)s but ah 1in hea( u4 shoutin at Gally? I Co4e oan doon- Andy- .34oan tae /u.1- 4ate- eh pleads? Ah (uns ba.1 doon- n ootside a)ain? No0 the toap pa(t ay Te((y3s +isible- 0i ehs ai(4s 0a+in) a0ay li1e a /u.1in 0ind4ill? Gally3s .lose by hi4- in a s5uattin) position- le)s oan eithe( side ay the slopin) (oo/? I Please ? ? ? please ? ? ? the poli.e 0ill .o4e- the nei)hbou(s 0ill .all the4 ? ? ? ,ol/)an) be)s? Th(ou)hout this- =a(.ia3s shoutin) at hi4 in Ge(4an- and ye dinnae need an inte(p(ete( tae 0o(1 oot 0hat she3s sayin? I He 2ust said he 0as )oin) to the toilet- then he 0ent up the(e- Gud(un- 0ho3s /ollayed 4e doon- says to Elsa? I His head has )one si.1? I Dou 0ill be b(ea1in) the tiles on the (oo/- ,ol/)an) pleads? Ah34 shoutin at the toap ay 4a +oi.e- I C34oan Gallo0ay- ya attentionBsee1in) 0ee p(i.1G Hu+ a /u.1in hea(tG These people hu+ been loo1in e/ti( us? ,e3(e oan holidayG They didnae need a0 this shiteG Gally says so4ethin)- ah .annae hea( 0hat it is? Then he 4o+es o+e( tae 0he(e a .oa9in) Te((y is? :uddenly La0son )(abs hi4 and pulls hi4 (ou)hly into the house@ it loo1s 0ei(d- this bi)- p(edato(y- le)less beast

pullin) this 0ee .unt intae this hole- and they +anish? It3s pu(e theat(e and e+e(ybody in the )a(den .hee(s? Ah head ba.1 upstai(s? ,hen ah )it thai(e Gally3s lau)hin) a0ay- but it3s a st(an)e lau)h? Eh3s )oat a .ut oan ehs nut and one oan ehs ai(4- 0he(e eh /ell 0i Te((y pillin u4 th(ou)h the hat.h doo(? 6illy3s (eally annoyed- but eh )oes ba.1 tae that bi) A4aEon in the st(iped d(ess? I Hus tae tea( the /u.1in e(se oot ay a )ood ni)ht- Te((y says an)(ilyleadin) Hed(a o//? They +anish into ou( (oo4?
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Gud(un still see4s tae be intae Gally thou)h- 4ai( /ool he(? Eh3s lyin oan he( lap and she3s st(o1in) his heid? I ,hat3s the use but- eh dollH eh as1s he( .hee(/ully? I ,hat3s the useH Thi(3s no0t ah 1in say tae the stupid .unt and ah 1eep oot the (oad? The 0ee basta(d see4s tae th(i+e oan .(eatin) da/t d(a4as? No su(p(isin)ly- the ni)ht pete(s out a/te( that? Nobody .an (eally bla4e ,ol/)an) and =a(.ia 0hen they .all a halt? Ah34 (elie+ed to )et a0ay /ae Gally- and 0hen Elsa as1s i/ ah 0ant to )o ba.1 to 7ol/ and G(et.hen3s 0ith he(- ah don3t ta1e any .on+in.in) at all? It3s only a sho(t 0al1 to 7ol/3s pla.e? ,e3(e 2ust in the doo( 0hen 7ol/ (aises his hand and )oes- I I34 )oin) to bed- and G(et.hen /ollo0s hi4- lea+in) Elsa and 4e in the /(ont (oo4? I Dou 0ant to )o to bedH ah as1- noddin) th(ou)h to 0he(e 7ol/ told 4e a spa(e (oo4 0as? I Fi(st you 4ust put so4ethin) on- she says? Ah .annae be bothe(ed 0i 4ai( sounds the no0? I Eh ? ? ? ah3d (athe( )o th(ou)h? 6esides- ah le/t a0 4a (e.o(ds (oond at ,ol/)an)3s? I No- puttin) so4ethin) on you( penis /o( the se9? The (ubbe(- she e9plains- as ah lau)h- /eelin) li1e a da/t .unt? The(e3s a sin1in) /eelin)? I Ah3+e le/t 4ines ba.1 at ,ol/)an)3s- ah tell he(? :he e9plains that 7ol/ has so4e? Ah ban) on the doo(- I 7ol/- so((y tae bothe( you- 4ate- but I eh- need .ondo4s ? ? ? I In ??? he(e ? ? ? 7ol/ )asps? Ah )o tentati+ely in- and the t0o o/ the4 a(e s.(e0in) on top o/ the bed- no e+en unde( the du+et- and ah tu(n a0ay? I On the lo.1e( ??? eh pants? They dinnae see4 bothe(ed- so ah 4o+e o+e( and ta1e t0o- then anothe( one in .ase? Ah loo1 (oond and )li4pse G(et.hen 0ho3s )i+in) 4e a 0i.1ed doEy s4ile as 7ol/s hu4pin) he(- and he( only .on.ession is to put a hand o+e( one s4all b(east? Ah loo1 a0ay and (et(eat 5ui.1ly? In the e+ent- ah only needed tae use one .ondo4 that ni)ht- and ah still .ouldn3t .o4e? It 0as the pills- they so4eti4es )ot 4e li1e that? It too1 a 0hile /o( us to (un ou(sel+es do0n- but it 0as o1ay t(yin)? E+entually she 2ust pushed 4e o// he(? I Just hold 4e- she said? Ah did and 0e /ell asleep? A/te( a /unny .(ash 0e )et 0o1en up by G(et.hen? As she3s d(essed- ah )uess that it 4ust be 5uite late? He( and Elsa tal1 a0ay in Ge(4an? Ah .annae unde(stand but ah )et the idea that the(e3s a phone .all /o( Elsa? :he )ets up and puts 4y TBshi(t on?
(**

,hen she .o4es ba.1- ah34 hopin) that she3ll .li4b ba.1 into bed? The(e3s /e0 thin)s as se9y as a st(an)e bi(d in you( TBshi(t? Ah pull ba.1 the .o+e(? I I ha+e to )o- I ha+e 4y tuto(ial- she e9plains? :he studies a(.hite.tu(e- ah 4ind ay he( sayin)? I ,ho 0as that on the phoneH I Gud(un- ba.1 at ,ol/)an)3s? I ,hat3s up 0ith 0ee GallyH I He is st(an)e- you( /(iend- the little one? Gud(un said she 0anted to be 0ith hi4- but they did not ha+e se9? :he said he did not 0ant se9 0ith he(? This is not usual- she is +e(y p(etty? =ost 4en 0ould 0ant to ha+e se9 0ith he(? I Too (i)ht- ah say- 0hi.h- by he( (ea.tion- ah .an tell 0isnae (eally 0hat she 0anted tae hea(? Ah should3+e said@ aye- but no as 4u.h as they3d 0ant tae 0i you- but it sounds shite no0 thou)h? 6esides- 0e3d sha))ed a )ood pa(t o/ the ni)ht a0ay- and I 0as no0 slidin) into that .o4eBdo0n 4ood? The se9 pa(t o/ 4y b(ain 0as satiated and pa(.elled o//? ,hat ah 0anted 0as a /e0 bee(s 0ith the boys? :he heads o// /o( the uni+e(sity- lea+in) 4e he( nu4be(? I .an3t settle in he( absen.e- the bed /eels bi) and .old? I )et up to /ind that 7ol/ and G(et.hen ha+e )one as 0ell? 7ol/3s le/t a note 0ith a neatly d(a0n 4ap o/ ho0 to )et ba.1 to ,ol/)an)3s? Headin) outdoo(s- ah de.ide tae 0al1 /o( a bit- .o4in) /(o4 this sidest(eet intae a bi)- 4ain (oad? It3s )ot 5uite 0a(4 a)ain- this Indian su44e( 0illnae )ie up 0ithoot a /i)ht? Ah .o4e intae this bi) subu(ban 4all and /ind a ba1e(3s? Ah ha+e a .o//ee and a banana? Needin) so4e su)a(- ah t(eat 4asel tae a bi) .ho.olate .a1e0hi.h ah .annae /inish as it3s /a( too (i.h? De.idin) that I34 too /u.1ed to 0al1 any /u(the(- I /ind a .ab and sho0 the ta9i d(i+e( the add(ess? He points a.(oss the (oad and ah instantly (e.o)nise the st(eet? Ah34 he(e- ah 2ist .a4e in the 0(on) /u.1in 0ey? Al0ays

did hate Geo)(aphy at the s.hool? Gally3s on ehs tod? ,ol/)an) and =a(.ia a(e out and 6illy and Te((y ha+e )one intae toon? Ah should i4a)ine that they3d be 4eetin) Hed(a and that bi) pie.e in the d(ess that 6illy 0is e/ti(? ,e head out- 0al1in) in silen.e to the lo.al ba(? It3s )oat a bit .aulde( a)ain- n ah pit oan the /lee.e toap ah hud tied (oond 4a 0aist? Gally3s )oat a toap oan 0i the hood pilled up? I34 shi+e(in)- e+en
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thou)h it3s no .auld? Ah )et up n buy t0o pints? ,e ta1e the4 tae a table nea( a bi) /i(e? I ,he(e3s that 0ee Gud(unH ah as1 hi4? I Fu.1 1no0s- eh? I loo1 at Gally? Eh3s still )ot the hood up? The(e3s da(1 .i(.les unde( his eyes and it3s li1e his /a.e is b(ea1in oot in spots- but 2ist doon the one side? Li1e so4e 1ind ay (ash? I :he 0is a (eally se9y 0ee bi(d? 6ut 0hat aboot that bi) bi(d 0i the st(iped d(ess- he( that 6i((ell 0is e/ti(H 7e.1on eh .o0ped itH Gally spits oot so4e .he0in)B)u4 intae the /i(e? A 0o4an behind the ba( loo1s at us- dis)usted? ,e stand oot a bit he(e- /ill ay auld boys n /a4ilies n ni.e .ouples? I Fu.1ed i/ ah 1en- eh )oes a0 nippy- ta1in) a bi) )ulp oot ay ehs pint? Then eh pulls ehs hood oa/? I Dinnae )o li1e that- ah tells u4? I De 0i( oa/ 0i a ni.e lassie- she 0is 0ell intae ye? Di( oan holiday? ,hat3s the /u.1in p(oble4 0i youH Eh sais no0t- n loo1s doon at the table? Ah 1in 2ist see the toap ay that 4atted bla.1Bb(oon hai(? I Ah .ouldnae hu+ ??? 0i hu( ??? ah 4ean ? ? ? I Ho0 noH :he 0is )a4e? Eh li/ts ehs heid up n loo1s 4e (i)ht in the eye? I Cause ah3+e )oat the /u.1in +i(us- that3s ho0? Thi(3s a dull thud in 4a .hist and 4a eyes lo.1 intae his /o( 0hat see4s an a)e- but it3s p(obably 2ist a .ouple ay hea(tbeats- as he sais in pani.- I Dou3(e the only .unt that 1ens? Dinnae tell Te((y o( 6illy- (i)htH Dinnae tell anybody? I 7i)ht ? ? ? but ? ? ? I P(o4iseH De /u.1in 0ell p(o4iseH =a b(ain3s daein a /e+e(ed dan.e? This .annae be (i)ht? This is 0ee And(e0 Gallo0ay? =y 4ate? ,ee Gally /ae :au)hton =ains- :usan3s laddie- :heena3s b(othe(? I Aye ? ? ? aye ? ? ? but ho0H Ho0- AndyH I Needles? :4a.1? Only did it a .ouple ay ti4es li1e? Loo1s li1e it 0is enou)h? Found oot the othe( 0ee1 thai(e- eh sais- n eh ta1es anothe( )ulp- but .ou)hs- spittin) oot so4e bee( in the /i(e 0hi.h hisses? Ah loo1 a(oond- but the 0i/ie behind the ba(3s a0ay? A .ouple ay .unts loo1 o0e(- but ah sta(e the4 doon? ,ee Andy Gallo0ay? The t(ips a0ay as 1ids- then as youn) .unts oan ou( ainF 6u(ntisland- Cin)ho(nAllapool- 6la.1pool? =e- 4y =a- 4y Dad n Gally? The
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/itba? The a()u4ents- the /i)hts? Hi4 .li4bin) as a 1id- al0ays .li4bin)? Thi( no bein) any t(ees in the s.he4e- it 0is .on.(ete bal.onies- hin)in) oa/ unde(passes- a0 that shite? A 0ee 4on1ey- they used tae .all hi4? A .hee1y 0ee 4on1ey? 6ut no0 ah34 loo1in) at his stupid- di(ty /a.e and his +a.ant eyes and it3s li1e he3s .han)ed intae so4ethin) else 0ithoot 4e noti.in)? It3s the di(ty 0ee 4on1ey- and it3s (i)ht oan his ba.1? Ah loo1 at hi4 a)ain th(ou)h 4a .o4edo0n- 4a ain )(otty lens- and ah .an3t help it- but Gally loo1s di(ty inside? Eh doesnae loo1 li1e Gally any 4ai(? ,he(e a4 ah )ettin) those (ea.tions /aeH Ah sip on 4y pint- and loo1 at the side ay his /a.e as he sta(es intae the /i(e? He3s b(o1en- he3s dest(oyed? Ah dinnae 0ant tae be 0i hi4- ah 0ant tae be 0i Elsa- ba.1 in that bed? As ah loo1 at hi4- a0 ah .an 0ish is that they 0e(en3t he(e (i)ht no0@ hi4- Te((y and 6illy? 6e.ause they don3t belon) he(e? Ah do? Ah belon) e+e(y0he(e?

7. A22ro8i6atel# .000: A $estival At6os2here
Windo"s 300
People 0ho 1ne0 hi4 0ell 0ould lau)h out loud 0hen he told the4 that he 0as 0o(1in) as a se.u(ity )ua(d? Andy Ni+en- his old 4ate- a/te( an in.(edulous pause- 0as still .hu.1lin)? I Da+ie Gallo0ay- se.u(ity )ua(dhe said /o( the u4pteenth ti4e- sha1in) his head- I ah3+e hea(d aboot the poa.he( tu(ned )a4e1eepe(- but this is (idi.ulous? Not that he so.ialised that 4u.h these days? Da+ie Gallo0ay a+oided pubs and didn3t li1e tellin) old /(iends and a.5uaintan.es 0hat he did? A bit o/ loose d(in1 tal1 and you 0e(e )(assed up? It had 0(e.1ed his li/e be/o(e- and the othe(s 0ho3d depended on hi4? I/ he3d been the(e- he 4i)ht ha+e 4ade a di//e(en.e? He thou)ht

about the /a4ily he3d le/t behind all those yea(s a)o- ho0 :usan had told hi4 to 4a1e a +i(tue out o/ ne.essity and 2ust /u.1 o// /o( )ood? Late( on his dau)hte(- :heena- 0ould tell hi4 the sa4e thin)@ she didn3t 0ant to see hi4 a)ain? They 0e(e li1e ea.h othe(? :usan and :heena@ they 0e(e st(on)- and he 0as both sad and )lad o/ that? And(e0- thou)h- he still 0ent to see And(e0? This ti4e- ho0e+e(- he 0ouldn3t )o to 2ail th(ou)h his s.a44in)- he 0as only t(yin) to 0o(1? No0 it 0as 2ust his 2ob he3d lose- not his libe(ty? Da+ie didn3t 0ant to )o ba.1 inside- he3d had too 4u.h o/ his li/e /(itte(ed a0ay- seen too 4any .(a4ped )(ey (oo4s- /illed 0ith the s4ells and obsessions o/ st(an)e(s? No0 he 0as 0o(1in)? The poa.he( tu(ned )a4e1eepe(? Loo1in) out /(o4 the .ont(ol .ent(e a.(oss this la()e housin) s.he4e- Da+ie Gallo0ay .onside(ed that the 4onito(s 0e(e his 0indo0s to the 0o(ld- the bla.1- )(ey .on.(ete 0o(ld outside? =onito(
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si9 0as his /a+ou(ite- the o+e(+ie0 .a4e(a s0eepin) beyond the to0e( blo.1s and o+e( the (i+e(? The (est (e+ealed d(ab unde(passes and stai(0ays and ent(an.es to .loses? The tapes 0e(e seldo4 s0it.hed on and (unnin) be.ause 0ho3d be bothe(ed loo1in) th(ou)h the4 /o( anythin) but a 4u(de(H The punte(s 1ne0 that as 0ell? The bai(ns 0e(e as )allus as /u.1? The 0ee ones 0ould 2ust stand unde( the .a4e(as )i+in) the4 the 8s /o( 4u.h o/ the day? :o4eti4es they )ot tanned in- o/ten by 4as1ed youths? T0o 4onito(s 0e(e blan1- they .ouldn3t be bothe(ed (epla.in) the b(o1en .a4e(as they 0e(e hoo1ed up to? Al/ie =u((ay- a (e.o+e(in) al.oholi. and AA de+otee- 0as 0o(1in) the shi/t 0ith Da+ie? I Danielle been oan the dayH I Na0- yi( in lu.1? Danielle 0as a youn) 0o4an 0ho (ose ea(ly and stood na1ed on the bal.ony- e9posin) he(sel/ to the .a4e(a in he( blo.1 o/ /lats? :he 0ould 4outh so4ethin) to the lens? Anli1e Al/ie- Da+ie Gallo0ay didn3t 4ind 0hethe( o( not he sa0 he(? ,hat he (eally 0ished- 4o(e than anythin)- 0as to 1no0 0hat she said ea.h 4o(nin) 0hen she stepped out boldly to /a.e the4- 0ea(in) nothin) but a s4ile? They3d thou)ht about )oin) to see he(? Da+ie 0ould ha+e 2ust lo+ed to ha+e as1ed he( 0hat 0o(ds she spo1e? It 0ouldn3t be 0ise thou)h? :he 0ould p(obably deny e+e(ythin)- and as this one )ene(ally 0asn3t tapede9.ept /o( pe(iodi. ti4es 0hen a sa+a)e .(i4e .aused 4o(al out(a)e- they .ouldn3t p(o+e it? They .ould do 0hat they 0e(e supposed to do and (epo(t it to the poli.e- but then she 4i)ht stop- and they didn3t 0ant that? Nobody .o4plained- o( e+en see4ed to 1no0? :he 0asn3t doin) any ha(4- in /a.t she 0as .e(tainly doin) Al/ie a /ai( bit o/ )ood? Anyho0- Da+ie had no desi(e to .onta.t the poli.e? He 1ne0 he3d soon be (e.o)nised sin.e he3d on.e been 5uite 0ell 1no0n to the4 in this .ity? 6esides- no0 his shi/t 0as al4ost o+e(- and it 0ould soon be ti4e to )o and ha+e a .hat 0ith And(e0?

(dinbur9h: &'otland
<ne Tuesday 44-AB pm

Abandon6ent
Jui.e Te((y La0son 0as 4o+ed to .u(se his old 4ate 3Post3 Ale. Connolly as he st(et.hed his /eet beyond the botto4 o/ the bed- out /(o4 unde( the du+et? The .old bit into the4- .ausin) his toes to (e.oil? That da/t .unt? Oh aye- the(e 0as nothin) 0(on) 0ith the hu)e- /u.1Bo//- /o(tyBin.h stateBo/BtheBa(t /latBs.(een basta(d o/ a telly he3d ni.1ed /o( Te((y? Ni.e one- Ale.? 6ut the useless auld 2a1ey t0at had /o()otten to li/t the (e4oteB .ont(ol handset /(o4 that 6a(nton )a// he3d othe(0ise so p(o/essionally done o+e(? Te((y /elt his dis.o4/o(t (ise and his pe(spi(ation le+els in.(ease as he e9tended his toes and endea+ou(ed to .li.1 /(o4 66C i th(ou)h to Channel Fou(? The(e 0as a F(en.h 2ob on in a bit and a /lash o/ tit and e(se 0as ine+itable? Fo()et Channel Fi+eF e+e(ybody else did? It 0as /unny- Te((y spe.ulated- thin1in aboot the posh .unts that 0e(e in toon /o( the /esti+al? Dou .ould pit a bit ay tit and e(se in a pape( (ead by s.he4ies and it 0as opp(essin) 0o4en- but sho0 the sa4e in a F(en.h /il4 and they lap it up and it be.o4es a(t? :o the (eal 5uestion o/ 0hat .onstitutes a(t should be 3is it 0an1ableand i/ so- 0ho byH3 Te((y thou)ht- as he a(.hed his ba.1 and pulled his butto.1s apa(t to let out a /a(t at /ull /o(.e? :ettlin) ba.1 do0n and sa+ou(in) the .(eepin)- 0a(4- sou( odou(- Te((y p(opped hi4sel/ up on his pillo0slettin) the s.(een illu4inate the (oo4? Openin) the s4all /(id)e ne9t to the bed- he pulled out and (ipped open a tin o/ 7ed :t(ipe? Not 4any le/t- he noted? Te((y too1 an app(e.iati+e sip o/ la)e( and then slu(ped ba.1 a 4outh/ul? He pi.1ed up the 4obile phone and .alled do0nstai(s to his 4othe( 0ho 0as 0at.hin) +ast+nders, 0hi.h she 0ould ha+e (e.o(ded yeste(day 0hile she 0as at the bin)o? Te((y3s piles sta(ted to it.h- it 0as a possibility

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that the 0etness o/ the /a(t had i((itated the4? =o+in) onto his side- he li/ted up one butto.1- and 4o+ed ba.1 the du+et- lettin) the .old ai( .i(.ulate (ound his a(sehole? Ali.e Al(i.h pi.1ed up the phone in anti.ipation o/ the .all bein) /(o4 he( dau)hte(- D+onne? Ali.e had 1ept the na4e o/ he( se.ond husband be.ause althou)h ,alte( had done a (unne( 2ust as he( /i(st 4an did- in his .ase in /li)ht /(o4 se(ious )a4blin) debts- he at least ne+e( le/t he( 0ith a 0aste( o/ a son li1e Te((y? Ali.e 0as dis)usted to hea( that the .all 0as only /(o4 upstai(s- /(o4 he( son on his 4obile? I Listen- =a- ne9t ti4e yi( up /i( a pee o( that- )oan b(in) ays so4e bee(s up /ae the bi) /(id)e? =a 0ee p(i+ate sto.1 up he(e3s nea(ly e4pty- eh ??? Te((y hea(d the in.(edulous silen.e on the othe( end o/ the line? I Jist the ne9t ti4e yi( up tae the la++y li1es? Ah 4ean- ah3+e 2ist 0ent n )oat 4asel settled doon- eh? :he let the phone )o dead? It 0as a /a4ilia( s.ena(io? 6ut on this o..asion so4ethin) .(ossed o+e( in Ali.e? :he sa0 he( li/e in b(utal /o.us and- pausin) /o( a 4inute to ta1e an un/lin.hin) sto.1 o/ he( lot- she 0ent th(ou)h to the 1it.hen and )ot he( son si9 .old bee(s /(o4 the /(id)e? :lo0ly .li4bin) the stai(s- Ali.e ente(ed his (oo4 0ith the supplies- as she had done so 4any ti4es? The(e 0as the usual 4usty s4ell o/ /a(t )as- stale so.1s and spun1? Habitually- she 0ould ha+e 4ade he( sli)ht p(otest by du4pin) the4 on his bedside lo.1e(but no- this ti4e she .i(.led the bed and put the4 in the 0ee bedside /(id)e /o( the laddie? :he .ould see his .o(1s.(e0 hai( in silhouette? Fo( Te((y3s pa(t he 0as +a)uely a0a(e o/ he( dist(a.tin) p(esen.e in the 4a()ins o/ his +ision? I Chee(s- he said i4patiently- 0ithout loo1in) a0ay /(o4 the s.(een? Lea+in) the (oo4- Ali.e 0ent into he( o0n bed(oo4- .la4be(ed onto the bed and pulled the old suit.ase do0n /(o4 the top o/ the 0a(d(obe? :he pa.1ed slo0ly and /astidiously- ta1in) .a(e not to .(ush the .lothesthen lu))ed the .ase do0nstai(s? :he .alled a /(iend- then a ta9i? As she 0aited /o( it to a((i+e she loo1ed /o( so4e pape( to 0(ite a note? :he .ouldn3t /ind any so she (ipped open a .o(n/la1es pa.1et and tu(ned it inside out? He( bin)o pen s.(at.hed out a 4essa)e 0hi.h she le/t on the sideboa(d? %ear Terr#: Fo( yea(s I3+e 0aited /o( you to lea+e this house? ,hen you )ot to)ethe( 0ith 0ee Lu.y I thou)ht- than1 )od? 6ut no- that didn3t last? Then that 8i+ian lassie ? ? ? a)ain- no?
(97

:o I*m lea+in)? Ceep the house? Tell the .oun.il I3+e .o44itted sui.ide? God 1no0s- I /elt li1e it o/ten enou)h? Loo1 a/te( you(sel/? T(y to eat plenty )(eens- not 2ust 2un1 /ood? The (ubbish 4en .o4e on Tuesdays and F(idays? Ta1e .a(eLo+e- =a? P:? Don3t t(y to /ind 4e? Te((y 0as 0o1en up by the Big Brea3fast sho0 that 4o(nin)? That Denise 8an 6all? Phoah- ya .unt ye? ,ell 0o(th one? :he 0as ne+e( o// the bo9@ Gladiators, $oliday . . . the /u.1in loat? A ni.e 0ee ea(ne(? :he should ne+e( ha+e dyed he( hai( thou)h@ he p(e/e((ed it blonde? :he3d put on so4e bee/ lately thou)h- by the loo1s o/ thin)s? 6ut the hai( 0ould ha+e to (e+e(t? Gentle4en p(e/e( blondes- he thou)ht s4u)ly? Hi4 and 7od :te0a(t? That Johnny 8au)han )uy 0as sound but anybody .ould dae that 1ind o/ 2ob- he .onside(ed? Fu.1 )ettin) up at that ti4e in the 4o(nin) thou)h? Gettin) up ea(ly in the 4o(nin) and tal1in) shite to e+e(y .unt? It 0as 2ust li1e 0hen he 0o(1ed on the 2ui.e lo((iesG No no0 thou)h? No 0ay? Te((y t(ied to )et his 4othe( on the 4obile /o( the pu(poses o/ tea and toast? A boiled e)) 4i)ht be an idea? The phone (an) do0nstai(s- t0o- th(ee ti4es- but nothin)? The auld )i(l 4ust be out at the shops? Gettin) up- he 0(apped a bathto0el (ound his a4ple 0aist and headed do0nstai(s 0he(e he sa0 the note? He held it in one hand- holdin) the to0el 0ith the othe( and sta(in) at the .a(d in disbelie/? :he3s )one /u.1in (ad)e- he said to hi4sel/? Te((y 0as spu((ed into a.tion? He had to )o out /o( p(o+isions? It 0as /(oEen outside and Te((y had ne+e( been a 4o(nin) pe(son? The .old .ut into hi4- th(ou)h his 0ashedBout- th(eadba(e 3:4ile I/ Dou Feel :e9y3 TB shi(t? The su44e( had been a total dis)(a.eF Au)ust- and it /elt li1e No+e4be(? Fu.1 the .(ap lo.al shops- he 0ould ta1e a b(is1 st(oll? :tenhouse one 0ay- :i)hthill the othe(? :i)hthill- he thou)ht- stealin) do0n the (oad to0a(ds the bi) /lats? He had ne+e( 4inded :i)hthill- in /a.t he3d al0ays li1ed it? This 4o(nin) thou)h- it 0as doin) his /u.1in nut (i)ht in? As he .(ossed unde( the dual .a((ia)e0ay and st(ode into the shoppin) .ent(e it see4ed to hi4 as i/ he 0as seein) the nei)hbou(hood th(ou)h the eyes o/ so4e pa4pe(ed publi.Bs.hool pon.e 0ho 0(ote those
(9*

o..asional so.ial .on.e(n a(ti.les /o( the b(oadsheets? E+e(y0he(e du)shit- b(o1en )less- ae(osol sp(ay paint8aliu4Bstunned youn) =a3s pushin) )oB1a(ts o/ s.(ea4in) bai(ns- pu(pleBtinned 2a1eys and bo(ed youths loo1in) /o( pills and po0de(s? Te((y 0onde(ed 0hethe( this 0as be.ause he 0as dep(essed o( 0hethe( it 0as due to the /a.t that it had been so lon) sin.e he3d )one do0n the shops /o( hi4sel/?

,hat the /u.1 0as up 0i the auld )i(l- he ponde(ed? :he had been a bit /unny lately- but she3d 2ust hit he( 4idB/i/ties 4ind you- 0hi.h- Te((y supposed- 0as a dan)e(ous a)e /o( a 0o4an?

A $rin9e Club
7ab 6i((ell stooped out o/ the ta9i and al4ost 4aintained the sa4e postu(e o+e( the sho(t distan.e /(o4 the 1e(b to the doo( o/ the F(in)e Club? He /elt li1e an al.oholi. snea1in) into an o//Bli.en.e? I/ anybody he 1ne0 0as passin) ??? as i/ they 0ould? 6ut the boys .ould tu(n up in all so(ts o/ pla.es these days? A.id House and /itba .asuals had a lot to ans0e( /o(? No0 you had a .luedBup .lass o/ o(dina(y punte(s 0ho 0ould ine9pli.ably be 0he(e you least e9pe.ted the4- usually ha+in) it la()e? 6i((ell had the /an.i/ul +ision o/ the F(in)e Club bein) /ull o/ )ad)es- se.(et lo+e(s o/ the a(ts? ,hile 7ab hi4sel/ 1ne0 little about the a(ts- he 2ust lo+ed the Festi+al at4osphe(e- the 0ay the .ity buEEed? His /lat4ate Andy /ollo0ed 7ab into the .lub? 7ab /lashed the t0o 4e4be(ships his b(othe( 6illy had 4ana)ed to se.u(e /o( the4? His b(othe( also 4ana)ed to )et 7ab t0o ti.1ets /o( a p(e+ie0 o/ a /il4- 0hi.h they3d both en2oyed? 7ab 6i((ell loo1ed a(ound at the London 4edia and a(ts .(o0d p(esent? These .unts had e+en opened up b(an.hes o/ thei( o0n .lubs up he(e /o( the du(ation o/ the Festi+al- so that they .ould )et th(ou)h the 0hole th(ee 0ee1s 0ithout the (is1 o/ a..identally lea+in) the side o/ the 0an1e(s they in.essantly bit.hed about the (est o/ the yea(? 6i((ell 0as bitte( that it 0as this .lass o/ people 0ho )ene(ally de.ided 0hat you (ead- hea(d and sa0? He .ast .(iti.al- app(aisin) )lan.es a(ound? Li1e a .lassB0a( .onnoisseu(- he sa+ou(ed a pe(+e(sely satis/yin) )lo0 o/ a//i(4ation 0hen a .e(tain loo1- )estu(e- .o44ent o( a..ent 4et his e9pe.tation? Andy sa0 his disdain and 4ade a /a.e at hi4? I :ettle do0n- =( 6i((ell?
(99

I It3s a0(i)ht /o( you- you 0ent tae Edinbu()h A.ade4y- 7ab teased- .lo.1in) a pai( o/ s4a(tBloo1in) 0o4en standin) at the ba(? I E9a.tly? That 4a1es it 0o(se /o( 4e? I 0ent to s.hool 0ith the li1es o/ those .unts- Andy (eplied? I ,ell- ye should be able tae .o44uni.ate 0i the4 bette(- so )it the d(in1s in- then )o o0e( tae they bi(ds and sta(t the .hat? Andy (aised his eyes in .o4plian.e and 7ab 0as 2ust about to 4o+e o+e( 0hen he /elt an a(4 on his shoulde(? I They didnae tell ays that they lit s.he4ies in he(e- the hu)e /i)u(e )(inned at hi4? 7ab 0as si9 /oot but he /elt li1e a 4id)et beside this )iant o/ a 4an? He 0as all 4us.le- 0ith not an oun.e o/ /at on hi4? I Fu.1in hell- Le9o- ho0 ye daein 4anH 7ab s4iled? I No bad? Co4e o0e( n hu+ a )less ay .ha4pa)ne- Le9o said- )estu(in) into the .o(ne( 0he(e 7ab spied a pon.yBloo1in) .unt and t0o 0o4en- one t0enties- one thi(ties? I These t0ats a(e /ae this T8 p(odu.tion .o4pany? Thi( daein a do.u4enta(y oan .asuals n they si)ned ays up as a te.hni.al ad+ise(? 7ab .lo.1ed 0ith app(o+al the yello0 Paul and :ha(1 ya.htin) 2a.1et Le9o spo(ted? It 0as one o/ those (e+e(sible nu4be(s- 0hi.h .a4e in handy in the old days /o( identi/i.ation pu(poses? He (e4e4be(ed Con(ad Donaldson KC3s pe(/o(4an.es ba.1 in the dayF I Dou say one o/ the a..used 0o(e a (ed 2a.1et- then it 0as bla.1? This 0hile anothe( had a bla.1 2a.1et 0hi.h 4i(a.ulously tu(ned blue? Dou ad4it you had been d(in1in) al.ohol? Did you ta1e any othe( into9i.atin) substan.e that a/te(noonH The p(ose.ution 0ould ob2e.t and it 0ould be sustained- but the da4a)e had been done? Le9o and Ghostie al0ays insisted that the boys that 0ent 0ith the4 0e(e 0ell tu(ned out? He (e4e4be(ed the4 sendin) t0o (eno0ned )a4eBs.(ape(s ho4e- si4ply be.ause they 0e(e 0ea(in) To44y Hil/i)e( ;3:.he4ie Hil/i)e(3< tops and 2eans? I Ah3d (athe( be done than d(ess li1e that- Ghostie had stated? I De need standa(ds? That3s a0(i)ht i/ yi( /ae so4e0hai(e li1e Dundee? Le9o had 4o(e o( less )one le)it sin.e his pal Ghostie3s de4ise at the hands o/ the polis? I De )aun tae Easte( 7oad the 4o(nH 7ab as1ed? I Na0- ah3+e no been doon /i( a)es- Le9o shoo1 his head? 6i((ell nodded thou)ht/ully? These days you %ere 4o(e li1ely to /ind so4e o/ the old .(e0 in the F(in)e Club than at Easte( 7oad? 7ab and Andy had a d(in1 /(o4 the /lutes- then e9.used the4sel+es? Le9o had business to attend to and 0as al(eady Eonin) the4 out o/ the .o4pany a/te( he3d 4ade the sho0 o/ int(odu.in)
300

the4? Th(ou)h ha+in) sha(ed a (oo4 0ith his elde( b(othe( 6illy /o( yea(s- 7ab unde(stood the attention span o/ the ha(d .unt bette( than 4ost? They )a+e- they too1- on thei( o0n te(4s? Fo(.in) the4 to en)a)e th(ou)h pushy .on+e(sation only i((itated the4? 7ab 6i((ell 0as also /indin) it a bit nauseatin) the 0ay the T8 people 0e(e han)in) on Le9o3s e+e(y 0o(d and )ettin) +isibly a(oused at his ane.dotes- sele.ti+ely .(a/ted to po(t(ay hi4 as a )(eat leade( 0ho pulled o// spe.ta.ula( s0ed)in) +i.to(ies a)ainst all odds? As 7ab and Andy too1 thei( lea+e- Le9o said- I Tell yi( b(a( ah34 as1in /i( u4?

7ab .ould )uess Le9o3s .o44ents to the ea)e( 4edia types no0? It 0ould be so4ethin) alon) the lines o/F Aye- that3s 7ab 6i((ell- no a bad .unt? Ased tae /an.y ehsel as a .asual /o( a .ouple ay seasons- but eh 0isnae a top boy? 6(i)ht .unt- at .olle)e no0- o( so they say? Ehs b(othe( 6illy3s a di//e(ent sto(y thou)h? Ased tae be a )ood bo9e( ? ? ? 6illy 0as al0ays a di//e(ent sto(y? 7ab 0as thin1in) about the en+elope that his b(othe( had )i+en hi4- a /e0 days be/o(e- at the /a4ily ho4e? It .ontained t0o F(in)e Club 4e4be(ships- t0o .ine4a ti.1ets and /i+e hund(ed 5uid? He loo1ed do0n to see and /eel the 0ad- 4a1in) a substantial bul)e in his Le+i3s po.1ets? I Ah dinnae need this- 7ab had (esponded- 0ithout atte4ptin) to hand it ba.1? 6illy 0a+ed hi4 a0ay- then (aised his hands? I Ta1e it? En2oy the Festi+al? :tudents dinnae hu+ it easy- he added? :and(a nodded in a)(ee4ent? ,ullie 0as plu))ed into his PC- su(/in) the Inte(net? He spent 4ost o/ his ti4e .he.1in) out 0ebsites on the .o4pute( 6illy had bou)ht the4? The Inte(net and .oo1in) had be.o4e his t0in obsessions sin.e his (eti(e4ent? I C34oan 7ab- it3s no0t tae 4e? Ah 0idnae dae it i/ ah .ouldnae a//o(d it- 6illy i4plo(ed? And 6illy 0asn3t bein) /lash- 0ell 4aybe a bit- but 4ainly he 0as 2ust bein) 6illy? He 0as loo1in) a/te( the people .lose to hi4 si4ply be.ause he .ould- and that 0as that? 6ut 7ab sa0 the e9p(ession o/ .loyin) indul)en.e on his 4othe(3s /a.e- and 0onde(ed 0hy this .ouldn3t ha+e been done p(i+ately- 2ust the t0o o/ the4? As he po.1eted the en+elope 0ith a (est(ained- la4eBsoundin)- I Chee(s- he thou)ht ho0 st(an)e it 0as that you( b(othe( .ould be you( he(o and ne4esis at the sa4e ti4e? 6illy 0ould be (ela9ed in a pla.e li1e this- e+e(y bit as in his ele4ent as Le9o 0as no0? 7ab 0asn3t at ease thou)h? He thou)ht it 4i)ht be a )ood idea to head o+e( to :te0a(t3s o( 7uthe(/o(d3s? They 0ould p(obably be /ull o/ Festi+al types slu44in) it- he .onside(ed?

&o6e"here ;ear the *lue Mountains: ;e" &outh Wales: Australia
Tuesday C-:B pm
I 0ant this to be o+e(? Dou ta1e too 4u.h be.ause you 0ant to /eel o( see so4ethin) di//e(ent- but only /o( a sho(t ti4e? I .an3t ta1e this be.ause I3+e )ot to the point that I34 not lea(nin) anythin) th(ou)h it? It3s 2ust anothe( /u.1in st(u))le? ,hat the /u.1 is stayin) a0a1e /o( days and days 4eant to tea.h 4eH Li1e 0hen 0e 0e(e 1ids in the su44e( and 0e 0ould spin and spin in /(ont o/ the /lats until 0e had so4e da/t t(ippy bla.1out and then 0e3d lie pantin)- si.1 and diEEy on the )(ass? The )(o0nBups- sittin out in the sun- 0ould tell us to stop? They 1ne0 0e 0e(e only /u.1in) ou(sel+es up and that no hi)he( .ons.iousness a0aited? The(e 0as a ti4e 0hen I thou)ht that they 0e(e t(yin) to stop us /(o4 )ainin) ent(y into a se.(et 0o(ld- but no0 I 1no0 that they 2ust .ouldn3t be bothe(ed .leanin) up a/te( all those si.1- pu1in) little .unts? 6ut I34 doin) it a)ainlyin) to 4ysel/ in the na4e o/ obli+ion? I 0ant to see and /eel less- (athe( than 4o(e- that3s 0hy I34 o// 4y tits? 6otto4 lineF I34 /u.1in) up and /o( no appa(ent (eason?
ssss&&&&&& <<<<MMMM666

It3s hittin) 4e ha(d no0- all the t(ips and pills I s0allo0ed? All the po0de(s I too1 up 4y /u.1edBup hoote(? 000hhhhhOOOO:::sshhhhI .(y out to hea( 4y +oi.e (e+e(be(ate a.(oss the 6lue =ountains- but I .an3t e+en see the othe( /u.1e(s and I34 (i)ht in the 4iddle o/ the4? I .an3t see the dense- lush /olia)e- 0hi.h su((ounds the .lea(in) 0e3(e dan.in) in? No- I .(y- but I .an3t hea( 4y +oi.e- no( .an anybody else- 0hat 0ith the (elentless th(ob o/ the bass- and I /eel the .ontents o/ 4y )uts sepa(ate /(o4 4e and the so/t )(ound (ushes up to 4y /a.e?

(dinbur9h: &'otland
'ednesday 44-4; am

+ost Mother: +ost Ale'
Te((y 0as ha+in) p(oble4s? 6i) p(oble4s? He had al0ays had a 0o4an to loo1 a/te( hi4? No0 his 4othe( had le/t? His 4othe(- )one the 0ay o/ his 0i/e? And she had (e4ained /(iends 0ith his e9- /o( the sa1e o/ he( )(andson Jason- o( so the auld boot al0ays .lai4ed? 6ut she had p(obably tal1ed all this o+e( 0ith Lu.y- the t0o o/ the4 .onspi(in) a)ainst hi4- ba.1ed up by that bi) t0at Lu.y had )ot to)ethe( 0ith? He3d ne+e( been se(ious about that (elationship- i/ he 0as honest to hi4sel/? It 0as 2ust a (ide o// a s4a(tBloo1in) bi(d 0ho 1ne0 ho0 to d(ess on a ni)ht out? It lasted a yea(- 0hi.h 0as about a yea( lon)e( than it 0ould ha+e had the 1id not .o4e alon)? 8i+ian 0as di//e(ent? :he 0as a 0ee )e4 and he3d t(eated he( li1e shite? The only lon)B te(4 )i(l/(iend he3d had? Th(ee yea(s? Lo+ed he(- but t(eated he( li1e shite and she al0ays /o()a+e hi4? Lo+ed and (espe.ted he( enou)h to (ealise that he 0as da4a)ed )oodsF to lea+e he(- let he( 4o+e on? A/te( that ni)ht on the b(id)e he 0ent o// the (ails? Na0- he 0as ne+e( on the /u.1in) (ails- 0hat 0as he on abootH The(e had been othe(- episodi.- sho(tBte(4 .ohabitations? A se(ies o/ 0o4en had o..asionally 4o+ed hi4 inonly to (ealise that the p(oble4s 0hi.h led to thei( use o/ 8aliu4- P(oEa. and othe( t(an5uillise(s paled into

insi)ni/i.an.e beside this ne0 status 5uo? In his 4ind3s eye- thei( /a.es 4elded into one +a)ue- disapp(o+in) pout? In no ti4e at all they 0ould .lean up and 1i.1 hi4 out- ba.1 to his 4othe(3s? 6ut no0 his o0n 4othe( had )one? Te((y .onside(ed the (a4i/i.ations o/ this? To all intents and pu(poses he had been abandoned? His o0n 4othe(? ,hat 0as it about 0o4enH ,hat 0as thei( p(oble4H 6ut Te((y 0asn3t 5uite abandoned? The phone (an) and it 0as his buddy Post Ale.?
303

I Te((y ? ? ? Ale. .(oa1ed d(yly into the (e.ei+e(? Te((y 1ne0 Ale. 0ell enou)h to (e.o)nise a /o(4idable han)o+e(? Ad4ittedly- this didn3t (e5ui(e )(eat po0e(s o/ dedu.tion as Ale. only ope(ated in t0o basi. 4odesF pished and hun)o+e(? In /a.t- Ale.3s .ontinuin) e9isten.e on the planet o+e( the last /i+e yea(s .onstituted a 4a2o( setba.1 /o( the s.ien.es o/ physiolo)y and 4edi.ine? Ale. had a.5ui(ed the ni.1na4e 3Post3 due to a sho(t pe(iod o/ le)iti4ate e4ploy4ent 0ith the 7oyal =ail? I A0(i)ht Ale.? The /ou( hoa(se4en ay the apo.alypse oan yi( /u.1in ba.1 a)ain 4ate- ayeH I Ah 0ish thi( 0is 2ist the /ou( ay the .unts- Ale. 4oaned? I =a heid3s nippin? Listen Te((y- ah need a 0ee hand 0i a 2oab? Le)it li1es- he added al4ost apolo)eti.ally? I Fu.1 o//- Te((y said in.(edulously- I 0hen did you i+i( dae anythin) le)it in yi( pu//- ya .han.in auld .untH I Gen up- Ale. p(otested- I 4eet ays doon 7y(ie3s in hal/ an ooi(? Te((y 0ent to )et .han)ed? Cli4bin) the stai(s he headed into his bed(oo4- ta1in) sto.1 o/ the house as he 0ent? He3d ha+e to 4aintain this tenan.y- not 2ust a d(a)- but a 4a2o( hassle? :till- the auld )i(l 4i)ht .o4e to he( senses? Gi+in) the /lat a 5ui.1 su(+ey- Te((y .onside(ed that the (epla.e4ent 0indaes the .oun.il had put in had 4ade a bi) di//e(en.e? It 0as a lot 0a(4e( and a lot 5uiete( no0? =ind you- the(e 0as still a da4p pat.h 0hi.h 1ept .o4in) th(ou)h unde( the 0indae sill@ they3d been out a .ouple o/ ti4es and done so4e 0o(1 on it- but the .unt 1ept .o4in) ba.1? It (e4inded Te((y o/ Ale.? He had to ad4it that the pla.e needed (ede.o(atin)? His (oo4 0as a state? The poste( o/ the lassie tennis playe( s.(at.hin) he( a(se- and the one o/ the nude 0hi.h t(a.es F(eud3s p(o/ile- 30hat3s on a 4an3s 4ind3? The(e 0as the one o/ Debbie Ha((y .i(.a the late se+entiesea(ly ei)hties and =adonna a /e0 yea(s late(? He had one o/ All :aints no0? They 0e(e (ides? The :pi.e Gi(lsthey 0e(e 2ust li1e the bi(ds you .ould 4eet in Lo(d To43s o( any 4eat 4a(1et on Lothian 7oad? Dou 0anted the .lassy- unapp(oa.hable type o/ bi(ds on you( 0all? Te((y only bou)ht di(ty 4a)s 0hen an unapp(oa.hable sta( posed nude?
30/

The *al6oral
The thin youn) 0o4an loo1ed tense and pale as she sat .(ossBle))ed on the bed o/ the hotel (oo4- ta1in) a b(ea1 /(o4 (eadin) a 4a)aEine to li)ht a .i)a(ette? :he loo1ed up- +a)uely dist(a.ted- and ble0 a s4o1e (in) as she .onte4plated he( su((oundin)s? It 0as 2ust anothe( (oo4? 7isin) to loo1 out o/ the 0indo0 she sa0 a .astle on a hill to0e(in) abo+e he(? Althou)h that 0as unusual enou)h- it still didn3t i4p(ess? To he(- the +ie0 /(o4 the 0indo0 had assu4ed the sa4e dulled and /lattened aspe.t o/ one o/ the pi.tu(es on the 0all? I Anothe( .ity- she 4used? The(e 0as a (hyth4i.- inti4ate 1no.1 on the doo( and a .hun1ily built 4an .a4e in? He had a .(e0B.ut and 0o(e a pai( o/ sil+e(B(i44ed )lasses? I Dou o1ay- honeyH he en5ui(ed? I I )uess? I ,e should phone Taylo( and )o to dinne(? I I34 nat hun)(y? :he see4ed so s4all on that 4assi+e bed- the 4an thou)ht- /o.usin) on he( ba(e a(4s? The(e 0as no 4eat on the4 and 2ust .onte4platin) its absen.e 4ade his o0n abundant /lesh 5ui+e(? He( /a.e 0as a s1ull 0ith plasti.B li1e s1in st(et.hed o+e( it? As she (ea.hed o+e( and /li.1ed he( .i)a(ette ash into the bedside asht(ay he thou)ht about the ti4e he3d /u.1ed he(- 2ust the on.e- all those yea(s a)o? :he had see4ed dist(a.ted and didn3t )et the(e? He .ould a(ouse no passion in he( and a/te( the e+ent he /elt li1e a sad .ha(ity .ase 0ho3d been )i+en a handout? A )odda4n insult- but his o0n /ault /o( t(yin) to 4i9 business and pleasu(e- not that the(e had been 4u.h o/ the latte(? It had all sta(ted a(ound that ti4e- this bullshit eatin) diso(de(? F(an1lin paused tensely /o( a se.ond1no0in) that he 0as about to )o th(ou)h the sa4e s.ene he had )one th(ou)h so 4any ti4es be/o(e and to an absolutely /utile end? I Loo1 Cath(yn- you 1no0 0hat the do.to( said? Dou )otta eat? Othe(0ise you a(e dead ??? he haltedo4ittin) the te(4 34eat3? It didn3t see4 app(op(iate? :he b(ie/ly )lan.ed up at hi4- be/o(e a+e(tin) he( e4pty )aEe? In a .e(tain li)ht he( .ountenan.e 0as al(eady

a death3sBhead 4as1? F(an1lin /elt (esi)nation3s /a4ilia( ebb? I I34 )onna .all (oo4Bse(+i.e ??? He pi.1ed up the phone and o(de(ed a .lub sand0i.h and a pot o/ .o//ee? I I thou)ht that you and Taylo( 0e(e eatin) out- Cath(yn said?
30)

I This is for you, he told he(- t(yin) to o+e(lay the a))(a+ation in his +oi.e 0ith a .oat o/ lullin) appease4ent- and /ailin) .o4pletely? I Don3t 0ant it? I T(y- baby- 0ill youH PleaseH T(y /o( 4e- he be))ed- pointin) to hi4sel/? 6ut Cath(yn Joyne( 0as 4iles a0ay? :he s.a(.ely noti.ed he( lon)ti4e /(iend and 4ana)e( =it.hell F(an1lin Delaney J(? lea+in) the (oo4?

Co')s <ot fir the Lassies
I Co.1s oot /i( the lassies- Lisa shouted at the t0o youn) studenty )uys 0ho 4ade thei( 0ay past the4 do0n the t(ain? One o/ the boys )ot a bea4e(- but the othe( s4iled ba.1 at the4? An)ie and :hela)h sni))e(ed as thei( +i.ti4s 4o+ed into the ne9t .a((ia)e? Cha(lene- youn)e( than the othe( th(ee- 0ho 0e(e in thei( 4idB t0enties- /o(.ed a ti)ht s4ile? They 0e(e al0ays 2o1in) about 3,ee Cha(lene3 and ho0 they 0e(e a .o((uptin) in/luen.e on he(? Cha(lene .onside(ed that that th(ee 0ould be a .o((uptin) in/luen.e on anybody? I Thi( 2ist /u.1in 0ee laddies- An)ie said- sha1in) he( head and tossin) ba.1 a 4op o/ b(o0n .u(ls? He( hu)e- (ound /a.e- .a1ed in 4a1eBup- he( bi) hands 0ith the i4plausibly lon) (edBandByello0 nail e9tensions she3d )ot done in IbiEa? :he 4ade Cha(lene /eel li1e a 1id- and so4eti4es she 2ust 0anted to bu((o0 into the se.u(ity o/ those hu)e b(easts 0hi.h see4ed to p(e.ede he( /(iend3s ent(an.e into a (oo4 by about ten 4inutes? Lisa stood up as An)ie and :hela)h sta(ted a d(u4 (oll? I Di( no .hasin they 0ee /u.1e(s u( yeH Di( a /u.1in :toat- hen- :hela)h s.o//ed? :hela)h- tall and )an)lin)- 0ith sho(t- spi1y- pe(o9ideBblonde hai(- so thin and /ine- 2ust li1e the (est o/ he(? Ate and d(an1 li1e a /ish and still had a .oathan)e(Bs1inny /(a4e? :0o(e and .u(sed and d(an1 the 4ost 4adB /o(Bit laddies (i)ht unde( the table? An)ie didn3t li1e the 0ay the (est o/ the4 .ould eat and d(in1 anythin)0hile she 2ust had to loo1 at a pa.1et o/ .(isps /o( it to (e)iste( on the s.ales? I A4 ah /u.1- Lisa said- but 0ith a sly nod- I 2ist )aun /i( a s4o1e in the bo)s- and she 4o+ed a0ay in e9a))e(ated 4o+e4ents- pa(odyin) a .at0al1 4odel? :he )lan.ed b(ie/ly ba.1 at he( pals /o( a
30#

(ea.tion- 4a(+ellin) at thei( =edite((anean tans- 2ust ho0 )ood they 4ade you loo1 and /eel? It 0as 0o(th the s1inB.an.e( (is1- 0o(th spendin) 4iddleBa)e loo1in) li1e a d(iedBout old p(une? Late( 0ould ta1e .a(e o/ late(? An)ie 0in1ed at Cha(lene? I Aye- )aun tae apply the lipB)loss 4ai( li1e it- she shouted at Lisa3s ba.1? Tu(nin) to :hela)h and Cha(lene she as1ed- I De (e.1on that di(ty .o03s a0ay tae 4a1e so4e 0a+es /i( the 0ee 4an in the boatH I Aye- it3ll be a lon) ti4e be/o(e she .o4es ba.1 doon tae ea(th /ae IbiEa? Filthy ta(t- :hela)h lau)hed? Gha(lene /elt a little a.he in he( .hest at the thou)ht o/ it all .o4in) to an end? Not so 4u.h /inishin) the holiday- o( e+en )oin) ba.1 to 0o(1F the(e 0ould be plenty o/ sto(ies to tell to 4a1e that bea(able /o( a bit? It 0as 2ust the /a.t o/ the4 not bein) to)ethe( e+e(y day? :he3d 4iss that- 4iss the4? Espe.ially Lisa? The /unny thin) 0as that Cha(lene had 1no0n he( /o( a)es? They3d 0o(1ed to)ethe( at the T(anspo(t Depa(t4ent in the Ci+il :e(+i.e? Lisa ne+e( (eally tal1ed to he( then- and Cha(lene supposed that she 0as a bit too youn) and un.ool /o( he(? 6ut then Lisa had pa.1ed it in and headed o// to India? It 0as only sin.e she3d )ot ba.1 to Edinbu()h last yea(- 0hen Cha(lene had tea4ed up 0ith An)ie and :hela)h- Lisa3s old 4ates- that they3d be.o4e pals? Cha(lene thou)ht that Lisa 4i)ht ha+e di//i.ulty in a..eptin) he(? The (e+e(se happened- and they (apidly be.a4e .lose /(iends? Lisa 0as so4e 4a.hine- a0(i)ht? I Aye- she 0is sayin that she 0ants tae )o oot the ni)ht- .ause the Festi+al3s oan- Cha(lene said? I Fu.1 that- ah34 )aun tae 4a bed- :hela)h said- pi.1in) a .(u4b o/ sleep /(o4 the .o(ne( o/ he( eye? I AloneH An)ie teased? I Too (i)ht? Ah3+e hud enou)h? :o4e ay us hu+ )oat a no(4al /anny bet0een oo( le)s- hen- no the /u.1in =e(sey Tunnel? I/ that Leona(do DiCap(io .a4e (oond tae 4ines 0i /i+e )(a44es ay .ha(lie- t0o boatils ay 6i.a(di n said- 3Let3s )o tae bed- baby3- ah3d 2ist tu(n (oond n say- 3:o4e othe( ti4e- pal?3 Cha(lene 0at.hed in 4o(bid /as.ination as :hela)h (olled and /li.1ed a0ay the .(u4b- t(yin) not to be too tu(ned o// by he( pal3s anti.s? :he .u(sed he(sel/ /o( bein) so s5uea4ish? IbiEa 0ith that 4ob 0as no pla.e /o( the /aintBhea(ted- and at ti4es she3d /ound it all too 4u.h? The s.o(eline had said it allF #- "- & and i?
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The one 0as Cha(lene- o/ .ou(se? The(e had been anothe( t0o- 0he(e she hadn3t )one all the 0ay- one o/ the4 bein) a lot bette( than the tense and 2a))ed o..asion 0hen she had? Cha(lene hated oneBni)ht stands- e+en on holiday? That )uy- he3d s0eated and slobbe(ed all o+e( he(- then .(ashed out as soon as he3d shot his load into the .ondo4 he3d .o4plained about ha+in) to 0ea(? :he3d been d(un1- but as soon as he3d sta(ted she 0ished she3d been d(un1e( still? In the 4o(nin) he )ot d(essed ea(ly and said- I :ee you late(- Cha(lotte? E+en the )uy she3d had the pettin) session 0ith- he had .alled he( A(lene- and had le/t a pile o/ si.1 on the /loo( o/ he( bed(oo4 in the .halet? That 0as the one 0ho e+entually )ot all nasty and .alled he( pe.ulia(- /o( not 0antin) to sha) hi4? :an Antonio had been no pla.e /o( the /aintBhea(ted? No0 she 0as )oin) ho4e to he( 4othe(3s? An)ie had lost one o/ he( la()e hooped ea((in)s- and Cha(lene thou)ht that she should 4ention it- but it 0as An)ie 0ho spo1e /i(st? I Aye- ah3+e hud it 0i .o.1 n a0? 6ut no LeeE? :he3ll no be )aun tae he( bed- 0ell- no oan he( tod any0ey? ,hat3s she li1eH I :he3s so4e 4a.hine? :ha))in) that boy /ae T(anent in the bo)s .o4in ba.1 oan the plane? T(anentG De )o a0 the 0ey thai(e n dae that 0i so4ebody /ae T(anentG Cha(lene said- a)hast? Then she shudde(ed? The 0hole point o/ )oin) the(e 0as to /u.1 so4ebody? And she3d had one .(ap en.ounte(? And no0 they 0e(e )oin) to tal1 about it? An)ie slipped so4e )u4 into he( 4outh? I Aye- that 0is you( /ault but- ta1in he( tae that =anu4ission oan the last ni)ht- )ittin he( a0 2ui.ed up? I Aye- 0hin that .ouple sta(ted sha))in- ah didnae 1en 0hai(e tae pit 4a /a.e- Cha(lene said- (elie+ed that they hadn3t )ot on he( .ase? :hela)h loo1ed at he( and- su.1in) on the +od1aBandBCo1e 4i9 they3d p(epa(ed in Ne0.astle Ai(po(tlau)hed- I Ah didF (i)ht unde(neath that Geo(die boy3s e(seG In the toilet- Lisa 0as pullin) he( blonde hai( a.(oss he( s.alp to e9pose da(1 (oots 0hi.h needed tou.hin) up? :he ne+e( did the4 he(sel/- and An)ie 0ould t(y to /it he( in ne9t 0ee1? Dou needed a p(o/essional 2ob- )et the split ends so(ted and 4a1e su(e the .ondition ,as 4aintained? A+oid at all .osts the )(easy o( d(y e9t(e4es o/ the ho4e e//o(ts?
30*

The sun had b(ou)ht out he( /(e.1les? Lisa pulled he( top up- to e9a4ine the tanBline? It had ta1en a .ouple o/ days to )et (ound to )ettin) the top o//? The tan 0as 2ust .o4in) on- 2ust sta(tin) to loo1 sea4less- 0hen it 0as ba.1 on the /u.1in plane and ba.1 to 0o(1 ne9t 0ee1 to the /u.1in) pods in the .all .ent(e at :.ottish :pinste(s? :ee you ne9t yea(? Ne9t yea( the tits 0e(e .o4in) out /(o4 day one? Lisa had al0ays 0anted bi))e( tits? That 0an1e( 0ho had said to he(- 3I/ you had bi))e( tits you3d ha+e a pe(/e.t body?3 This 0as supposed to be a /u.1in .o4pli4ent n a0? :he3d (eto(ted by tellin) the )uy that i/ his .o.1 0as as bi) as his nose then he3d be o1ay as 0ell? The sad /u.1e( had )otten all pa(anoid and sel/B.ons.ious? :o4e o/ the4 .ould )i+e it al(i)ht- but they hated )ettin) it ba.1? The p(ettyBboys 0e(e the 0o(st@ na(.issisti.- sel/Babso(bed bo(es 0ith no pe(sonality? 6ut then the p(oble4 0as that i/ you sha))ed too 4any do)s- it ate a0ay at you( sel/Bestee4? And it 0as a p(oble4- but one 0o(th ha+in)? ,ee Cha(lene had been a bit /unny on the holiday? Lisa suspe.ted that it had all been a bit too 4u.h /o( he(? Lisa su(p(ised he(sel/ 0ith ho0 p(ote.ti+e she /elt o/ he( youn)e( /(iend? ,hen they 0e(e out in :an Antonio3s ,est End she3d )lan.e o+e( li1e a 4othe( hen e+e(y ti4e a pi.1BandB4i9 sele.tion o/ pastel TBshi(ts and sho(ts .a4e st(uttin) to0a(ds the4- all hope/ul )(ins and i(oni. snee(s? The(e 0as al0ays a .e(tain sleaEy type 0ho 0ent st(ai)ht /o( Cha(lene? He( pal 0as s4all and da(1F that 3bla.1 I(ish3 loo1 she said it 0as- al4ost 7o4any? F(o4 he( 4othe(3s side? Cha(lene3s .on+entionally p(etty /a.e and a4ple .lea+a)e should ha+e su))ested a +i+a.ious se9uality- but the(e 0as a se(iousness- a tentati+eness about he(? Dou .ould tell she 0as e4ba((assed by the 0hole thin)- yet t(yin) so ha(d to /it in? Outside in the .a((ia)e- they 0at.hed 6e(0i.1 pass unde(neath the4? Cha(lene had seen it /(o4 the t(ain so 4any ti4es and it still loo1ed i4p(essi+e? :he (e4e4be(ed on.e .o4in) ba.1 up /(o4 Ne0.astle on a ni)ht out- she3d been 4o+ed to )et out and e9plo(e it? It had been an a)(eeable enou)h to0n- but 0as best app(e.iated /(o4 the t(ain? An)ie nud)ed Cha(lene as she too1 the bottle /(o4 :hela)h? I :he3s /u.1in 4ad but- she )lan.ed o+e( at :hela)h- I nea(ly as bad as you? =ind the ti4e ye ba))ed oa/ 0i that boy at 6uste(3sH I Aye ? ? ? (i)ht hen- :hela)h said 0a(ily? :he 0asn3t able to (e4e4be( 0hi.h ti4e this 0as- but she sensed An)ie3s 4ood?
309

I He 0is pishedG :hela)h 4inded no0? It 0as best to tell it he(sel/ (athe( than ha+e to su//e( An)ie3s +e(sion? I Aye- ah )oes ba.1 tae his- but eh .ouldnae )it it up? In the 4o(nin- ah34 )ittin d(essed- and he3s a0 /(is1y- t(yin it oan? Ah telt u4 tae /u.1 o//? I That3s oot ay o(de(- An)ie said- (ealisin) that this 0asn3t the sto(y she 4eant? 6ut she 0as a bit pishedand as she3d no0 /o()otten the o(i)inal one- this 0ould do- I it3s a0(i)ht 0hin yi( d(un1- bit no in the 4o(nin 0hin thi( sobe(- spe.ially i/ eh .ouldnae )it it up the ni)ht be/o(e? I Ah 1en? That 4a1es it li1e )aun 0i so4ebody thit3s a st(an)e(? Li1e ah34 a /u.1in slut o( so4ethin)? Ah telt u4 tae /u.1 o//- ye hud yi( .han.e- son- n ye 0i(nae up tae the 2ob? Cen 0hit she says- :hela)h e9plainedpointin) th(ou)h to the .a((ia)e 0he(e Lisa had )one? I :he sais ah 0is 4ad? :he )oes- should3+e done u4 in the 4o(nin? Ah sais- /u.1 o//- it too1 ays ei)ht Dia4ond ,hites tae sno) u4? Ah34 no )aunny /u.1 a do) ah dinnae 1en 0i nothin) but a han)o+e( /i( p(ote.tion? At this point Lisa (etu(ned and (aised he( eyes doubt/ully- slippin) into the seat ne9t to :hela)h? Cha(lene loo1ed 0ist/ully out o/ the 0indo0 as the t(ain s0ept alon) the 6e(0i.1shi(e .oast? I :he 4i)ht be (i)ht thou)h? It3s about diu(eti.s? The boy .an 1eep it up lon)e( e/ti( a ni)ht oan the pish? 7ead a0 aboot it? That3s ho0 it too1 4a =a a)es tae lea+e 4a Dad- e+en 0hen eh 0is an al1ie? Eh3d 0a1e up in the 4o(nin) and 2ist )ie he( a len)th 0i the d(in1 su//e( eh hud? :he thou)ht it 4eant eh still lo+ed he(? It 0is 2ust .he4i.al need? Eh3d hu+ stu.1 it in a G(e))3s b(idie i/ it hud been hot and 4oist enou)h? They sensed that Cha(lene had said too 4u.h? The(e 0as a lon) ne(+ous silen.e as she t0it.hed sel/B .ons.iously be/o(e Lisa .oolly said- I ,idnae be a G(e))3s b(idie then? The lau)hte( 0as too loud /o( hu4ou( but 2ust (i)ht /o( .atha(sis? At this point- 4uddled- si.1 thou)hts about Cha(lene and he( /athe( sta(ted to /o(4 in Lisa3s d(in1B/uddled 4ind? Lisa loo1ed at Cha(lene3s da(1 eyes? They 0e(e hollo0 and sun1en- as 0e(e :hela)h and An)le3s and indeed he( o0n 0hen she had inspe.ted the4 in the toilet? ,hy shouldn3t they be- they3d been .anin) it on holiday? 6ut Cha(lene3s 0e(e di//e(ent- they 0e(e 4o(e than a little bit haunted? It s.a(ed and .on.e(ned he(?
310

Re'ord Co62an#
F(an1lin Delaney sat 0ith Colin Taylo( in a busy ba(B.a/Q on Edinbu()h3s =a(1et :t(eet? Its style 0as not to his li1in)F a d(ea(y sel/.ons.iously t(endy pla.e 0hi.h .ould be in a /ashionable 5ua(te( o/ any 0este(n .ity? I Cath(yn is /u.1in) 0ith 4y head- he .on/ided? F(an1lin (e)(etted this .on/ession as soon as he3d 4ade it? Taylo( 0as a botto4Bline 4an- not the 4ost sy4patheti. o/ indi+iduals? His .lothin) loo1ed e9pensi+e- but it see4ed too p(istine and unli+edBin to be on a (eal pe(son? He 0as li1e a 4anne5uin and the )ea( .on/i(4ed hi4 as p(eB.onst(u.ted- bland- .o(po(ate .on/o(4ity? His +oi.e 0as (eal enou)h thou)h? I :he3s )ot to eat o( she3s )oin) to /u.1in) 0ell pe) out- he shoo1 his head idly? I ,hy .an3t she do us all a /a+ou( and ta1e a /u.1in) o+e(doseH Cath(yn Joyne(3s 4ana)e( loo1ed ha(shly at he( (e.o(dB.o4pany e9e.uti+e? Dou ne+e( 1ne0 0hen this li4ey ba) o/ shit 0as ta1in) the piss? He had t(ied to )et to )(ips 0ith this 6(itish obsession 0ith i(ony and sa(.as4 but had ne+e( 5uite 4ana)ed it? 6ut Taylo( 0asn3t ta1in) the piss? I I34 si.1 o/ it all? At least i/ she .(oa1ed 0e3d shi/t so4e /u.1in) units? I34 /ed up 0ith that /u.1in p(i4a donna- he s.o//ed- loo1in) disapp(o+in)ly at the salad the 0ait(ess had put in /(ont o/ hi4? He3d been t(yin) to eat healthily but this appea(ed none too appetisin)? F(an1lin3s stea1 loo1ed 4u.h bette(- not that the Dan1 /u.1e( had noti.ed- )i+en as he 0as to .o4plainin) about the 5uality o/ /ood in 6(itain? Taylo( .onte4plated Delaney? He3d ne+e( been pa(tial to A4e(i.ans? =ost o/ the4 he3d .o4e into .onta.t 0ith in the 4usi. business 0e(e ho4o)enised 0an1e(s 0ho 0anted e+e(ythin) to be li1e it 0as in the A:A? I :he3s still the )(eatest 0hite /e4ale sin)e( in the 0o(ld- F(an1lin /elt his +oi.e )o that hi)h 0ay it did 0hen he )ot de/ensi+e? He 0asn3t 1een on Taylo(? The 4an 0as inte(.han)eable 0ith 2ust about any othe( (e.o(dB.o4pany /a))ot he3d (un a.(oss? ,hate+e( that .(aEy bit.h3s p(oble4s- he ou)ht to sho0 so4e /u.1in) (espe.t /o( he( talent? It had ea(ned that asshole3s .o4pany enou)h .ash and hi4 enou)h 1udos? E+en i/ it all see4ed a 0hile ba.1 no0? I Deah su(e- Taylo( sh(u))ed? I I 2ust 0ish she had the sales p(o/ile to p(o+e it? I The ne0 albu43s )ot so4e )(eat son)s on it- but it 0as a 4ista1e to lead o// 0ith Betrayed by You. The(e 0as no 0ay that sin)le
311

0as )oin) to )et ai(play? "ystery Woman 0ould ha+e been the ideal .hoi.e /o( lead sin)le? That 0as the one she 0anted to )o 0ith? I ,e3+e had this debate- F(an1lin- 4o(e ti4es than I .a(e to (e4e4be( ? ? ? Taylo( said 0ea(ily- I ??? and

you 1no0 as 0ell as I do that he( +oi.e is as /u.1ed as he( si.1 head? Dou .an ha(dly /u.1in) 0ell hea( he( on the albu4- so 0hate+e( sin)le 0e too1 /(o4 it 0as )oin) to be a pile o/ old bollo.1s? F(an1lin /elt the an)e( su()e inside hi4? He .he0ed on his (a(e stea1 and- to his )(eat pain and annoyan.ebit ha(d into his ton)ue? He su//e(ed in silen.e as his eyes 0ate(ed and his .hee1s /lushed? His blood 4e()ed in his 4outh 0ith the .o03s- 4a1in) hi4 /eel li1e he 0as eatin) his o0n /a.e? Taylo( too1 this silen.e /o( .o4plian.e? I :he3s unde( .ont(a.t to do one 4o(e albu4 0ith us? I3ll be st(ai)ht 0ith you- F(an1lin- i/ she doesn3t (edee4 he(sel/ 0ith that one I3d be +e(y su(p(ised i/ she 4ade anothe(- on this label ??? o( any othe(? The Ne0.astle )i) last ni)ht 0as slated in 2ust about e+e(y pape( that bothe(ed to .o+e( it and the audien.es a(e thinnin) out? I34 su(e that it3ll be the sa4e so((y tale to4o((o0 he(e in Glas)o0? I This is Edinbu()h- F(an1lin stated? I ,hate+e(? It3s all the sa4e to 4e? the obli)ato(y Jo.1 )i) at the end o/ the tou(? The point still holds? 6u4s on seats- 4ate- bu4s on seats? I The ti.1ets a(e sellin) 0ell /o( this .on.e(t- F(an1lin p(otested? I Only be.ause the Jo.1s a(e so /a( (e4o+ed /(o4 .i+ilisation that they ha+en3t hea(d the 0o(dF Cath(yn Joyne( has lost it? The ne0s 0ill /ilte( a.(oss Had(ian3s ,all at so4e point? 6ut it 0as a )ood 4o+e puttin) he( on he(e- at the Edinbu()h Festi+al? They3ll ta1e any old shit he(e? Any 0ashedBup hasBbeen .an (eBsu(/a.e and the .unts that put the p(o)(a44e to)ethe( .all it 3da(in)3 o( 3inspi(ed3 and the thin) is- people a(e so used to )oin) out- they a.tually )o alon)? Ne9t 0ee1 she .ould be doin) the sa4e sho0 at thei( lo.al shitBpit and they 0ouldn3t e+en /u.1in) d(ea4 o/ )oin) to see he(? Taylo(3s eyes spa(1led 0ith 4is.hie/- as he p(odu.ed a ne0spape( .uttin) and slipped it o+e( to hi4? I Dou seen this (e+ie0 o/ last ni)htH F(an1lin said nothin)- t(yin) to 1eep his /eatu(es i4passi+e- a0a(e all the ti4e o/ Taylo(3s sni))e(in) )aEe on hi4- as he loo1ed o+e( the .uttin)F
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Too

eav# <n The Mint &au'e: Ms 4o#ner
Cath(yn Joyne( City Hall- Ne0.astle Apon Tyne The +ib(ato +o.al te.hni5ue is a .ont(o+e(sial de+i.e to say the least? It3s o/ten the last 0eapon o/ the son)ste( s.ound(el- the .lappedBout .hanteuse 0hose +oi.e la.1s its /o(4e( (an)e? In Cath(yn Joyne(3s .aseit3s sad- al4ost to the point o/ bein) pain/ulto 0itness the publi. hu4iliation o/ a +o.al talent 0hi.h 0as on.ei/ not e+e(ybody3s .up o/ tea- then at least a t(uly distin.ti+e pheno4enon? No0- Joyne(- 0hen audible- bleats th(ou)h e+e(y son) li1e a la4b on =o)adon- o/ten slidin) into this patheti. 0a(ble at the least .hallen)in) o/ obsta.les? It3s al4ost li1e ou( Cath3s /o()otten ho% to sin)? A booEy- 4iddleBa)ed

.(o0d on a nostal)ia t(ip 4i)ht ha+e sho0n so4e e4pathy to a 4o(e en)a)in) pe(/o(4e(- but Joyne(li1e he( +oi.e- see4s else0he(e? He( .o44uni.ation 0ith the audien.e is Ee(oe9e4pli/ied by he( stubbo(n and pe(+e(se (e/usal to )i+e us a (endition o/ he( bi))est e+e( t(ansatlanti. hitincere 9o(e. 7epeated .alls /(o4 the /loo( /o( that old standa(d 0e(e studiously i)no(ed? In the end thou)h- it 4atte(s not a 2ot? Hits li1e J <no% You*re 'sing "e and Gi(e '! Tour 9o(e 0e(e )i+en the 0oolly t(eat4ent by a pain/ully thin Joyne(- 0ho .u((ently ooEes the 1ind o/ se9 appeal 0hi.h 4a1es Ann ,idde.o4be loo1 li1e 6(itney :pea(s? The set positi+ely (ee1s o/ 4int sau.eand- /o( the )ood o/ 4usi.- this is one pie.e o/ 4uttonBd(essedBasB la4b 0e .an only p(ay 0ill /all into the .lut.hes o/ a Hannibal Le.te( +e(y soon? F(an1lin st(u))led to .ontain his an)e(? This a(tist needed suppo(t- and he(e she 0as bein) 0(itten o// and (idi.uled by he( o0n .o4pany? I Get he( to eat- F(an1lin- Taylo( s4iled- holdin) a /o(1/ul o/ )(easy .hi.1en to his 4outh? I Just )et he( to eat? Get he( st(on) a)ain? F(an1lin /elt the pain in his 4outh subside as his indi)nation (ose /u(the(? I Don3t you thin1 I ha+en3t been t(yin)H I3+e t(ied e+e(y .lini.
:4:

and spe.ial diet and the(apist 1no0n to 4an ??? I )et the4 to send up .lub sand0i.hes e+e(y dayG Taylo( (aised the )lass o/ (ed 0ine to his 4outh? I :he needs a )ood /u.1in)- he 4used- loo1in) .onspi(ato(ially at F(an1lin 0ho 2ust then (ealised that the (e.o(dB.o4pany e9e.uti+e 0as a little d(un1? I =int sau.e- ehH That3s a )ood oneG

I Ano" >ou3re 5sin9 Me
Jui.e Te((y didn3t li1e hei)hts? He 0asn3t .ut out /o( this type o/ 0o(1? The 0indo0B.leanin) he didn3t 4indbut bein) up hi)h- it 2ust 0asn3t /o( hi4? Det he(e he 0as suspended on a plat/o(4 abo+e the .ity- .leanin) the 0indo0s o/ the 6al4o(al Hotel? Ho0 the /u.1 he had let that 2a1ey auld .unt Post Ale. tal1 hi4 into this )i) 0as beyond hi4? Ale. had said it 0ould be .ashBinBhand as No((ie =.Phail 0as in hospital )ettin) an ope(ation on his shoulde(? No((ie didn3t 0ant to lose the lu.(ati+e hotel .ont(a.t so had ent(usted Post Ale. 0ith .o4pletin) the 2ob? I Fu.1in +ie0BnBaBhal/ /ae up he(e but- Te((y- .ou)hed Ale.- ha.1in) up a lu4p o/ spittle /(o4 the ba.1 o/

his th(oat and )obbin) it out? E+en as /a( up as they 0e(e- and 0ith the noise o/ the t(a//i.- Ale. /an.ied that he .ould hea( the )ob splatte( o// the pa+e4ent? I Aye- ba((y- Te((y (eplied- 0ithout loo1in) a.(oss and do0n at P(in.es :t(eet? Dou .ould 2ust step outside the s.a//oldin) and let )o? Just li1e that? It 0as too easy? It 0as a 0onde( 4o(e people didn3t do it? A bad han)o+e( 0ould s0in) it? Dou3d only ha+e to sense the /utility o/ it all 2ust /o( a splitBse.ond- then you3d be a0ay? It 0as too te4ptin)? Te((y 0onde(ed 0hat the sui.ide (ate /o( 0indo0B.leane(s on hi)h buildin)s 0as? An i4a)e /(o4 the past .(ashed into his head and Te((y /elt )iddy? He .lun) ha(d to the ba((ie(- his hands s0eatin) and nu4b on the 4etal? He too1 a deep b(eath? I Aye- it3s no e+e(y day ye )it a +ie0 li1e that- Ale. 4a(+elled- loo1in) o+e( at the .astle? He too1 a hal/B bottle o/ The Fa4ous G(ouse 0his1y /(o4 the inside po.1et o/ his o+e(alls? Ans.(e0in) the top- he helped hi4sel/ to an al4i)hty s0i)? He thou)ht t0i.e be/o(e (elu.tantly holdin) it in /(ont o/ Jui.e Te((y- .hu//ed 0hen Te((y de.lined- /eelin) the al.ohol bu(nin) satis/yin)ly at his )uts? He loo1ed at Te((y- that /(iEEy 4ane o/ hai( blo0in) in the 0ind? It had been a 4ista1e to )et
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that 4oo.hin) .unt in on this- Ale. de.ided? He thou)ht it 0ould be .o4pany- but Te((y had )one all silent on hi4- 0hi.h 0as unli1e Te((y? I Fu.1in +ie0- Ale. (epeated- stu4blin) a little and sha1in) the plat/o(4? I =a1es ye happy tae be ali+e? Te((y /elt his blood (unnin) .old in his +eins as he t(ied to .o4pose hi4sel/? No be ali+e 4u.h lon)e(- up he(e 0i this auld .unt- he thou)ht? I Aye- (i)ht Ale.? ,hen3s 0i( /u.1in b(e1H Ah34 sta(+in? I Du+ 2ist hud yi( b(ea1/ast in that .a/Q- ya )(eedy /at .unt- Ale. snee(ed? I That 0is a)es a)o- said Te((y? He 0as loo1in) into the bed(oo4 0hi.h lay on the othe( side o/ the 0indo0 he 0as .leanin)? A youn)ish 0o4an sat on the bed? I :toap .he.1in oot the /anny- ya di(ty basta(d- Ale. spat 0ith .on.e(n- I any .o4plaints /ae )uests n it3s No4e3s li+elihood that3s at sta1e? 6ut Te((y 0as spyin) the .lub sand0i.h 0hi.h lay untou.hed on the table? He tapped at the 0indo0? I A( you /u.1in 4adG Ale. )(abbed his a(4? I No((ie3s in the P=7G I :3a0(i)ht- Ale.- Jui.e Te((y said soothin)ly- as the plat/o(4 shoo1- I ah 1en 0hit ah34 daein? I Ha(assin /u.1in )uests ? ? ? The 0o4an had .o4e to the 0indo0? Ale. .(in)ed and 4o+ed alon) the plat/o(4 and too1 anothe( s0i) /(o4 the bottle o/ G(ouse? I 3:.use 4e- doll- Te((y said as Cath(yn Joyne( loo1ed up and sa0 0hat she thou)ht 0as a /at )uy standin) outside he( 0indo0? O/ .ou(se- they 0e(e .leanin) 0indo0s? Ho0 lon) had he been loo1in) at he(H ,as he spyin) on he(H A 0ei(do? Cath(yn 0asn3t ta1in) this bullshit? :he 0ent o+e( to hi4? I ,hat is it that you 0antH she as1ed sha(ply- openin) the hu)e doubleB0indo0s? A /u.1in septi.- thou)ht Jui.e Te((y? I Eh so((y tae distu(b ye n that- doll ??? eh- see that sanny thai(- he pointed to the .lub sand0i.h? Cath(yn pulled he( hai( ba.1 /(o4 a.(oss he( /a.e- pinnin) it behind he( ea(? I ,hat ? ? ?H she loo1ed a.(oss at the /ood 0ith distaste? I De no 0antin it li1esH I No- I don3t ? ? ? I Goan )ies it then? I Eh su(e ? ? ? o1ay ? ? ? Cath(yn .ouldn3t thin1 o/ any (eason not to )i+e this 4an the sand0i.h? F(an1lin 4ay e+en thin1 she*d eaten it
31)

and it 4i)ht stop hi4 bustin) he( ass /o( a 4inute? This )uy 0as pushy- but 0hat the /u.1- she3d )i+e hi4 it? I :u(e ? ? ? 0hy not ??? in /a.t- 0hy don3t you 2ust .o4e in and ha+e so4e .o//ee 0ith it ??? she said .austi.allyannoyed at bein) distu(bed? Te((y 1ne0 Cath(yn 0as bein) sa(.asti.- but de.ided to stea4 into the (oo4 any0ay? Dou .ould play the da/t laddie- p(etend to ta1e so4ebody at thei( 0o(d? The 0ealthy al4ost e9pe.ted it o/ the lo0e( o(de(s- so it suited e+e(yone? I That3s +e(y 1ind o/ you- Te((y s4iled- steppin) in? Cath(yn too1 a step ba.1 and )lan.ed at the phone? This )uy 0as a nut? :he should .all se.u(ity? Te((y noted he( (ea.tion and th(e0 his hands in the ai(? I Ah34 2ist .o4in in /i( a .o//ee- ah34 no one ay they (ad)es li1e in A4e(i.a- that .ut ye tae pie.es n a0 that- he e9plained- b(ea1in) into a bi) s4ile? I I34 )lad to hea( that- Cath(yn (eplied- )athe(in) so4e .o4posu(e? Post Ale. 0as su(p(ised to see his /(iend disappea(in) into the (oo4? I ,hat3s the s.o(e- La0sonH he shouted- in (isin) pani.? Te((y bea4ed at Cath(yn- 0ho 0as still 2ud)in) he( distan.e to the phone- then tu(ned ba.1 and po1ed his /a.e out the 0indo0? I The lassie3s 2ist as1ed ays in /i( a 0ee bite tae eat? A4e(i.an lassie li1es? Ni.e tae be

ni.e- eh- he 0hispe(ed ba.1 at Ale.3s dis)(untled pout be/o(e .losin) the 0indo0? Cath(yn (aised he( eyeb(o0s as the o+e(allB.lad /i)u(e o/ Jui.e Te((y stood be/o(e he( in he( bed(oo4? He3s an e4ployee? A 0indo0B.leane(? He 2ust 0ants a .o//ee? Cal4 do0n? I Gittin ehsel a0 ha(assed? The 2oab3ll )it done- that3s 0hat ah say? Cannae be daein 0i st(ess? It3s a 1ille(? That3s Ale.3s p(oble4- Te((y nodded outside to the (edB/a.ed 4an 0ho 0a+ed the .ha4ois a)ainst Cath(yn3s 0indo0- I too 4u.h e9e.uti+e st(ess? Ah telt u4@ Ale.- ah sais- yi( a t0oBul.e( 4an in a oneBul.e( 2oab? This asshole su(e had so4e balls? I Deah ? ? ? eh- I )uess so? Does you( /(iend not 0ant so4e .o//eeH Cath(yn as1ed? I Na0- he3s )oat his ain stu// and eh3s 2ist )aunny p(ess on? Te((y sat do0n on a .hai( 0hi.h loo1ed too dainty and o(na4ental to suppo(t hi4- and sta(ted tea(in) into the sand0i.h? I No bad- he spat bet0een .ho4ps as Cath(yn 0at.hed in /as.ination bo(de(in) on ho((o(? I Ey0is 0onde(ed 0hat the sannies 0i( li1e n they posh pla.es? =ind you- ah 0is at 4a 4ate3s 0eddin in the :he(aton the othe( 0ee1 thai(? They pit oan no a bad sp(ead? De 1en the :he(atonH I No- I .an3t say I do?
31#

I It3s doon the othe( end ay P(in.es :t(eet- Lothian 7oad li1es? Ah34 no that 1een oan that pa(t ay toon- bit thi( isnae as 4u.h bothe( thai( as ye used tae )it? O( so they say? Ah34 ne+e( that 4u.h in the toon these days but- eh? End up peyin toon p(i.es? 6it it 0is Da+ie n 7uth3s .hoi.e ay a +enue ? ? ? 7uth3s the bi(d 4a 4ate Da+ie 4ai((ied but eh? Ni.e lassie 1en? I 7i)ht ? ? ? I No 4a type li1esay- bit topBhea+y n that- Te((y .upped his hands to his .hest- .a(essin) la()e in+isible b(easts? I 7i)ht ? ? ? I Da+ie3s .hoi.e bit- ehH Cannae )o (oond tellin i+(aybody 0hae thu+ )oat tae /u.1in 0ell 4ai((ay- ehH I No- Cath(yn said 0ith an i.y /inality? :he thou)ht ba.1 all those yea(s- /ou(- /i+e- to hi4 in bed 0ith her. ,ith them. The tou(? And no0 anothe( 4othe(/u.1in) tou(? I :o 0hai(e3s it ye .o4e /ae yi(sel bitH Te((y3s te(se 5uestionin) snapped Cath(yn a0ay /(o4 that Copenha)en hotel (oo4 ba.1 to the .o(n/ields o/ he( .hildhood? I ,ell- I34 o(i)inally /(o4 O4aha- Neb(as1a? I Is that in A4e(i.a- ayeH I Deah ? ? ? I Ey0is 0anted tae )o tae A4e(i.a? =a 4ate Tony 2ist )oat ba.1 /ae thai(? =ind you- he thou)ht thit it 0is o+e((ated? E+e(y .unt? ? ? eh- pa(don 4e- e+e(ybody e/ti( that- Te((y (ubbed his thu4b and his inde9 /in)e( to)ethe(? I The /u.1in yan1ee dolla(? =ind you- it3s )ittin that 0ey o0e( he(e? Doon in that ,a+e(ley :tation ye )it .ha()ed thi(ty pen.e /i( the bo)sG Thi(ty pen.e /i( a pishG De 0ant tae 4a1e su(e thit it3s a lon) yin /i( that p(i.eG Ah3ll hu+ a /u.1in shite n a0 i/ it3s a0 the sa4e tae you- 4ateG Tell ays 0hat the /u.1 that3s a0 aboot- i/ ye 1inG Cath(yn nodded )lu4ly? :he didn3t (eally 1no0 0hat this 4an 0as sayin)? I :o 0hat b(in)s ye tae :.otlandH Fi(st ti4e in Edinbu(y- ayeH I Des ? ? ? this /at oa/ didn3t 1no0 0ho she 0as? Cath(yn Joyne(- one o/ the )(eatest sin)e(s in the 0o(ldG I A.tually- she said snootily- I I34 he(e to pe(/o(4? I De a dan.e( li1esH I No? I sin)- Cath(yn hissed th(ou)h .len.hed teeth? I A0 ??? ah 0is thin1in ye 4i)ht be a dan.e( up at Toll.(oss o( so4ethin- but then ah thou)ht that this yin3s a bit /an.y /i( the )oB)o3s n
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that ??? he loo1ed a(ound the hu)e suite? I i/ ye dinnae 4ind ays sayin so li1es? :o 0hat is it ye sin)H I Ha+e you e+e( hea(d o/ "ust You Brea3 "y $eart &gain ??? o( pe(haps 7ictimised by You ??? o( I <no% You*re 'sing "e . . . Cath(yn .ouldn3t b(in) he(sel/ to say- 3and incere 9o(e.* Te((y3s eyes 0idened in (e.o)nition- then /o.used in disbelie/ /o( a beat- be/o(e e9pandin) on.e 4o(e in a//i(4ation? I AyeG Ah 1en a0 thai4G He bu(st into son)F A/te( 0e3+e 4ade lo+e a distant loo1 it o/ten /ills you( eyes you a(en3t 0ith 4e but 0hen I .hallen)e you- you /ei)n su(p(ise Dou )et d(essed 5ui.1ly s0it.h on T8 /o( the ball )a4e I 4ean so little

Dou e+en .all 4e by the 0(on) na4e ? ? ? ??? ah lo+ed that son)- 4anG It3s that t(ue tae li/e ??? ah 4ean- eh- thi(3s boys li1e that- 1en 0hit ah 4eanH On.e thu+ hud thi( ho ??? ah 4ean- e/ti( se9- it3s li1e- that3s it- 1enH I Des ? ? ? Cath(yn /ound he(sel/ lau)hin) )ently at Te((y3s pe(/o(4an.e? It 0as t(uly a0/ul? It had been su.h a lon) ti4e sin.e anythin) had 4ade he( lau)h? I Dou ou)ht to be on sta)e- she s4iled? Te((y b(istled as i/ he3d been in2e.ted 0ith a hypo /ull o/ (a0 p(ide? I Ah do sin)- doon the 1a(ao1e in The Gauntlet at 6(oo4hoose? Any0ey- than1s /i( the sanny? Ah3d bette( be )ittin ba.1 be/o(e that .u ??? eh- be/o(e 4y .ollea)ue Post Ale. sta(ts nippin 4a heid? He loo1ed at he( /o( a se.ond- he( sti.1Bli1e /i)u(e? I Tell ye 0hat but- ye should lit 4e )it ye a d(in1 late(? Dou oa/ the ni)htH I Des- I a4 but I ??? Jui.e Te((y La0son 0as /a( too e9pe(ien.ed in the stea4(olle( 4ethod o/ .hatBup to allo0 Cath(yn the ti4e to 5uali/y he( situation? I Ah3ll ta1e ye /i( a 0ee be++y then? :ho0 ye so4e ay the si)hts? The (eal Edinbu(y butG Is it a date- li1e youse say in the :tates- he 0in1ed? I ,ell- I dunno ??? I )uess so ??? Cath(yn .ouldn3t belie+e the 0o(ds .o4in) out o/ he( 4outh? :he 0as )oin) out on the to0n 0ith a /at 0indo0B.leane(G He 0as possibly a pe(+e(t- a stal1e( o( a 1idnappe(? He ne+e( shut up? He 0as a pain in the ass ???
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I 7i)ht- ah3ll see ye in the Alison? That3s a 0ee bit ay 4usi. business slan) /i( ye- you should 1en that yinthe Alison =oyet- the /oye(- 1enH :e+en o3.lo.1 a0(i)htH I 7i)ht ? ? ? I :oundG Jui.e Te((y opened the 0indo0- dili)ently s.(a4blin) ba.1 onto the plat/o(4- ta1in) .a(e not to loo1 do0n? I Aboot /u.1in ti4e n a0- Post Ale. 4oaned? I Ah34 no daein they 0indaes 4asel- Te((y? It3s no oan? No((ie3s peyin the baith ay us tae dae the4- no 2ist 4e? No((ie ??? in the /u.1in P=7- Te((y? Hoaspital bedsu//e(in /ae a .al.i/ied tendon? Ehs 0indaeB.leanin ai(4 n a0? Ho0 dae ye thin1 he3d be /eelin) li1e i/ he 1ent 0e 0i( 4essin up his li+elihoodH I :toap /u.1in 0ell 4oanin- ya /u.1in auld 2a1ey .unt? Ah34 only )aun oot the ni)ht 0i that /u.1in bi(d thit used tae be oan To! ay the )o!sG I :hite- Ale. opened his 4outh displayin) bla.1enin) yello0 teeth? I Gospel 4an? That bi(d in thai(? :he did that "ust Ye Bre3 "a $ert &gain. Ale. )aped- openB4outhed- as Te((y san) to illust(ate his pointF All 4y li/e I3+e been in pain all 4y days no sunshine- 2ust (ain then you .a4e into 4y 0o(ld one day and all the .louds 2ust ble0 a0ay 6ut you( s4ile has )(o0n .olde( I /eel the .hill that3s in you( hea(t and 4y soul it li+es in te((o( o/ the ti4e you3ll say that 0e 4ust pa(t =ust you b(ea1 4y hea(t a)ain 4ust you hu(t 4e to 4y .o(e 0hy oh 0hy .an you not be the +e(y spe.ial one /o( 4e =ust you play those sa4e old 4ind )a4es .ause I 1no0 the(e3s so4eone else 0ho4 you thin1 o/ 0hen 0e3(e to)ethe( =ust you b(ea1 4y hea(t a)ain ? ? ?
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I Ah 4ind ay that yin ? ? ? he(e- 0hat3s he( na4e- Ale. pee1ed in the 0indo0 and had a )lan.e at Cath(yn? I Cath(yn Joyne(- Te((y said- de4onst(atin) that sa4e a((o)ant /lou(ish he e4ployed at The :il+e( ,in) pub 5uiE on the o..asions 0hen he 0as su(e he 0as .o((e.t? Ali.e Coope(3s (eal na4eH 8in.ent /u.1in Fu((ie(? Pie.e ay pish? I :ee i/ ye 1in )it ti.1ets /i( he( sho0? I Conside( it so(ted- Ale.- .onside( it so(ted? ,e in the business 1in pill a /e0 /u.1in st(in)s? ,e dinnae /o()et oo( auld 4u.1e(s? Chee1y .unt- thi(tyBsi9 yea(s auld n still li+in at ha4e 0i his =a- Ale. thou)ht?

*lue Mountains: ;&W: Australia
'ednesday ?-4; am
All I34 a0a(e o/ is the bass th(obbin) a0ay- that pulse o/ li/e- the steady boo4Bboo4Bboo4 o/ the beat? I34 ali+e? I3+e al4ost been a0a(e o/ it /o( a 0hile? :o4e un.ons.iousness isn3t da(1ness- it3s standin) .oldly in the

.ent(e o/ the sun- t(yin) to )aEe beyond its blindin) /i(es out0a(ds a.(oss the /la0ed su4ptuous uni+e(se- you( a(se- you( a(se- you( a(se ? ? ? I loo1 up and I see the )(een .an+as? I .an3t 4o+e? I .an hea( the +oi.es a(ound 4e but I .an3t /o.us? I ,hat3s he ta1enH I Ho0 lon)3s he been outH I 1no0 the +oi.es but I .an3t (e.all the na4es? The(e3s 4aybe a best /(iend o( an old lo+e( in the(e so4e0he(e@ ho0 easy it3s been tae .olle.t loads o/ both o+e( the last de.ade o( so- ho0 )enuine it all see4ed at the ti4e- no0 ho0 /(i+olous and e4pty? 6ut they3(e all a(ound 4e no0- all 4elted into one in+isible /o(.e o/ hu4an )ood0ill? =aybe I34 dyin)? =aybe this is 0hat it /eels li1e- the 2ou(ney into death? The .o4bination o/ souls- the 4eldin)- the .o44union into one spi(itual /o(.e? =aybe this is ho0 the 0o(ld ends? A s0eet s4ell sha(pens and 0a(ps into a (an.id .he4i.al sten.h in 4y nost(ils? I shudde(- 4y body .on+ulsin) on.e- t0i.e and it3s )one? 6ut 4y head s0ells up so 4u.h it3s li1e the s1ull and 2a0bones a(e )oin) to .(a.1- then it .ont(a.ts ba.1 to no(4al? I Fu.1 sa1e- 7eedyG The last thin) he needs is a4yl up his /u.1in) hoote(- a )i(l3s +oi.e .o4plains? :he3s sta(tin) to .o4e into /o.us@ )olden d(eadlo.1s- p(obably (eally 2ust di(tyB/ai(- but I see the4 as )olden? He( /eatu(es b(in) to 4ind a /e4inine +e(sion o/ the A(senal /ootballe( 7ay
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Pa(lou(? Celeste- she3s .alled- and she3s /(o4 6(i)hton? 6(i)hton in En)land- not 6(i)hton he(e? The(e must be one he(e? :u(ely? :o4ethin)3s sti.1in) in 4y head@ thou)hts playin) li1e on a loop? I suppose that3s 0hat )oin) loopy 4eansF obsession ti4es obsession? 7eedy3s be)innin) to ta1e shape in /(ont o/ 4y eyes no0? His bi) blue eyes- his .(e0B.ut- his 0eathe(Bbeaten s1in? Those old (a)s stit.hed to)ethe( so haphaEa(dly that it3s al4ost i4possible to dis.e(n 0hat the /u.1 .onstituted the o(i)inal )a(4ent? It3s all pat.h? E+e(ythin)? E+e(ythin) he(e is pat.hed up? Held to)ethe( by /u.1 all- 2ust 0aitin) to /all apa(t? I :o((y- Ca(l 4ate- 7eedy apolo)ises? I Just t(yin) to (e+i+e you the(e? I should .all Helena- but than1/ully 4y 4obile3s /u.1ed? Dou )et no (e.eption up he(e any0ay? I34 in no position to say so((y- to ad4it I3+e been a .unt? That3s 0hat )ettin) /u.1edBup doesF it suspends ti4e- puttin) you into this pla.e 0he(e atte4ptin) to apolo)ise .an only 4a1e thin)s 0o(se- so you don3t e+en t(y? It3s /ine no0- I .an /eel a s4ile t0ist on 4y 4outh? :oon thou)h- I3ll be in that lonely 0aitin)B(oo4 o/ ho((o( and an9iety? An9iety? =y tunes? I ,hai(e3s 4a /u.1in tunesH I Dou3(e in no state to spin- Ca(l? I ,hai(e3s the /u.1in tunesH I 7ela9 ? ? ? they3(e (i)ht he(e- 4ate? Dou 0on3t be playin) any- thou)h? Just ta1e it easy- 7eedy u()es? I I3ll /u.1in blo0 the4 a0ay ??? I hea( 4ysel/ sayin)? I /o(4 a )un 0ith 4y inde9 /in)e( and 4a1e a patheti. e9plodin) noise? I Loo1- Ca(l- Celeste Pa(lou( says- I you 2ust sit the(e /o( a bit /end )et ye( head to)ethe(? Dou3+e )ot an e)) on it? Celeste /(o4 6(i)hton? 7eedy /(o4 7othe(ha4? Thousands o/ En)lish- I(ish and- yes- :.ots- 0he(e+e( I )o? All sound heids n a0? Cali/o(nia- Thailand- :ydney- Ne0 Do(1? Not 2ust han)in) out- not 2ust ha+in it- not e+en 2ust li+in) it? They3(e /u.1in) 0ell (unnin) the sho0@ le)al o( ille)al- .o(po(ate o( .(ustie- all that 0asted ent(ep(eneu(ial talent- /(ee as /u.1- a..ents not a .onside(ation- sho0in) the lo.als ho0 to do it? Aust(alia 0as di//e(ent- it (eally 0as the last /(ontie(? :o 4any heads had ended up he(e- a/te( the d(ea4 had been s4ashed by the not poli.e and the bla.1Be.o4ony d(u)Bdealin) nutte(s 0hi.h the That.he( yea(s had th(o0n up? 6(itain /elt old and shoddy- st(an)ely e+en 4o(e so 0ith its Ne0 Labou( and its 4ode(nisation- its 0ine ba(s
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and .o1eBsno(tin) 4edia and ad+e(tisin) pon.es e+e(y0he(e? It only too1 one )lu4 3ti4e )entle4en please3 to send the .itiEens o/ Cool 6(itannia s.uttlin) ho4e /o( the last bus o( Tube be/o(e the st(o1e o/ 4idni)ht? That old /ist o/ (ep(ession still lu(1ed unde( the s4a(4y banality o/ e+e(yday li/e? Not Aust(alia thou)h- it /elt (eal and /(esh a)ain out the(e? The (a+es behind :ydney Cent(al :tation 0e(e 2ust so4ethin) to do 0hile you 0ent out to )et the supplies? Then it 0as ba.1 out into the 6ush to the 4a1eshi/t "ad "a-Bstyle en.a4p4ents? Goin) /e(al- )oin) to the point 0he(e you t(an.ed you(sel/ out in the sun to the hyb(id o/ did)e(iBdoo and te.hno? Lea+in) it and losin) it- no autho(ities to 0o((y about- bein) /(ee to e9pe(i4ent as .apitalis4 de+ou(ed itsel/? It 0as not the point? Let the4 )et on 0ith /u.1in) it up- a..u4ulatin) 0ealth they .ould ne+e( hope to spend? The sad .unts 0e(e 4issin) the point? Fi/ty )(and a 0ee1 /o( a /ootball playe(? Ten )(and a ni)ht /o( a dee2ayH Fu.1 o//?

Fu.1 o// and beha+e? I /eel sa/e he(e thou)h- this pla.e is /ull o/ .hilled heads? 6ette( than that last .(e0 I )ot 4i9ed up 0ith up in the =e)alon)? It 0as /un /o( a 0hile- but I ne+e( 0as 4u.h .op at pi.1in) /(iends? They say that leade(s al0ays e4e()e- no 4atte( 0hat the ideals o( the syste4s o/ de4o.(a.y that a(e put in pla.e? ,ell- this 4ay o( 4ay not be t(ue- but 0hat is the .ase is that a(seholes .e(tainly do? The ai( 0as .ool and li)ht- and it 0as da4p- yet I (e4e4be( it as a /u(na.e? The No(the(n Te((ito(y- last su44e(? All the /(yin) heat a(ound su.1in) out you( 2ui.es? 6(eath Tho4son none the less loo1in) at 4e? His /a.e is li1e a 4o(ay eel- it (eally is? :no(1ellin) out on the (ee/- I .a4e /a.e to /a.e 0ith one o/ those basta(ds? They a(e bad /u.1e(s? I34 a th(eat? He says 0o(dlesslyF you3(e the dee2ay- play the 4usi.? Don3t .hallen)e 4e- don3t thin1- (elin5uish all thou)ht- I .an do that /o( all o/ us? I34 a /u.1in )(eat .ha(is4ati. leade(? No- so((y 6(eath? All you a(e is a s4elly- (i.h .(ustie .unt 0ith a sound syste4? Dou3+e /u.1ed a /e0 da/t .hi.1s 0ho don3t 1no0 thei( o0n 4ind- but ha+en3t 0e allH Than1 /u.1 I34 a s.he4ie? =u.h too /u.1in .yni.al to be 4es4e(ised by an idiot 0ho sounds li1e a /ai(y? The lo+eBandBpea.e +ibe soon 0ent 0hen the autho(ity 0as .hallen)ed? It 0asn3t the No(the(n Te((ito(y- it 0as the =e)alon)
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8alley- but that su44e( it 0as so hot it .ould ha+e been Ali.e :p(in)s? No? It 0as da4p and 0et? I .an3t /u.1in 0ell thin1 ? ? ? I34 thin1in) about ho0 I3+e al0ays /elt an outside(- a 4is/it? E+en 0ith the posse- the t(ibe- the .(e0- I 0as a 4is/it? Then I see hi4 a)ain- 6(eath- the .ont(ollin)- 4anipulatin) .unt? He al0ays says to you 3I ha+en3t )ot an a)enda3 and e+en 0hen you3(e 4ashed out o/ you( nut he3s as subtle as a 1i.1 in the balls? I see hi4 a)ain? He3s spoutin) so4e bibli.al shite at 4e- ho0 I 0ill lose 4y po0e( li1e :a4son- /o( .uttin) o// 4y 0hite hai(- 0hi.h is /allin) out any0ay- /o( /u.13s sa1e? He 0ishes? I play the best set I3+e e+e( played in 4y li/e? Fu.1in blindin)? A/te(0a(ds- he3s sul1in)? Then he .an3t .ont(ol his (a)e? He says thin)s and I 0al1 a0ay /(o4 his (ant? He .o4es a/te( 4e and pulls on 4y a(4? 3I34 tal1in) to youG3 he sh(ie1s? That does it? I tu(n and pun.h hi4- a bo9in) pun.h li1e 6illy 6i((ell on.e sho0ed 4e? It 0asnae (eally that 4u.h o/ a pun.h- not in 6i((ell3s lea)ue- but it3s )ood enou)h /o( 6(eath? He sta))e(s ba.1 and )oes into sho.1- sta(ts 0hi4pe(in) and th(eatenin) at the sa4e ti4e? 6ut he3ll do nothin)? Anothe( /u.1in) dod)y s.ene I /ell into? That3s 0hat politi.s does /o( youF tu(n 4y ba.1 on 4a1in) a 4int in .lubland to play /o( /u.1 all /o( .unts 0ho hate you? I3ll say one thin) about 6(eath- the .unt 1ne0 ho0 to build a /i(e o(- 4o(e li1e it- 1ne0 ho0 to )et us to build a /i(e? His /i(es 0e(e bi)- 4o4entous a//ai(s- /illed 0ith po4pous (itual and .e(e4ony? They lit up the /u.1in outba.1 n a0- sendin) up a shi44e(in) li)ht- .uttin) s0athes th(ou)h the dese(t da(1ness? I thin1 ba.1 to the s.he4e- and ho0 6illy 6i((ell 0ould ha+e app(o+ed? Lo+ed a boney- that .unt? Aye- 6(eath 1ne0 ho0 to build a /i(e and ho0 to )et shy- .on/used 0ee lassies to ta1e o// thei( .lothes and dan.e in /(ont o/ it /o( hi4 be/o(e headin) ba.1 to his tent? Pun.hin) the .unt 0as satis/yin)- the chadenfreude o/ it all? ,ho said that a)ainH ,ee Gally? The Ge(4an .lasses? 6ut /u.1 6(eath? I 4et Helena the(e? :he 0as ta1in) photos- and I 0as ta1in) he( hand? ,hen she )ot he( pi.tu(e 0e 0al1ed a0ay /(o4 it all? Got into he( old 2eep and d(o+e? ,e had the spa.e not to be bothe(ed? Al0ays the spa.e? Just 0at.hin) he( /a.e- the .on.ent(ation on it as she d(o+e us a.(oss dese(ts? I e+en d(o+e /o( st(et.hesthou)h I3d ne+e( been behind the 0heel o/ a .a( in 4y li/e?
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Dou )o the(e- and you see it all- that spa.e- that /(eedo4? Dou see ho0 0e3(e (unnin) out o/ spa.e- out o/ ti4e?

(dinbur9h: &'otland
:-:C pm

&'u6
Lisa had t(ied to pe(suade the4 all to )o out- but they 0e(e ha+in) none o/ it? Cha(lene 0as te4pted- but de.ided to head st(ai)ht to he( 4othe(3s pla.e? In the ta9i- she 0as (ehea(sin) the thin)s she3d say to he( 4u4 about the holiday- de.idin) 0hat she3d lea+e out?

,hen she )ot in- he( 0o(ld /ell apa(t? He 0as the(e? He 0as bac3. That /u.1in thin)- 2ust sittin) in the .hai( by the /i(epla.e? I A0(i)ht- he said- a loo1 o/ s4u) de/ian.e on his /a.e? He .ouldn3t e+en be bothe(ed to t(y to 4a1e a sta)ey sho0 o/ (epentan.e- to .(a0l ba.1 into thei( li+es that 0hin)ein)- /eeble- 0(et.hed 0ay? He 0as no0 so .on/ident in he( 4othe(3s 0ea1ness- he /elt he s.a(.ely had to t(y and hide his o0n a((o)ant- t0isted natu(e? All Gha(lene .ould thin1 0as I*(e let the ta-i go. Despite this- she pi.1ed up he( ba)s- tu(ned and 0al1ed (i)ht ba.1 out o/ the house? :he hea(d he( 4othe( sayin) so4ethin) in the ba.1)(ound- so4ethin) stupid- 0ea1 and hal/Bhea(ted and it disinte)(atin) in the /a.e o/ a (isin) noise .o4in) /(o4 he( /athe( 0hi.h sounded li1e a .o//in .(ea1in) open? It 0asn3t that .old- but she 0as /eelin) the .hill in the 0ind th(ou)h to he( bones a/te( IbiEa- and the sho.1 o/ seein) hi4 a)ain? In si.1 (esi)nation- she (ealised that 0hile the sho.1 0as )(eat- the(e 0as a.tually no su(p(ise? Cha(lene 0al1ed in a pu(pose/ul 4anne(- but 0ithout (ealisin) 0he(e she 0as )oin)? Fo(tunately it 0as in the di(e.tion o/ to0n? Dou /u.1in) stupid- 0ea1- /oolish .o0? ,hyH ,hy the /u.1 had she :he headed /o( Lisa3s pla.e? On the bus- Cha(lene /elt an es.alatin) sense o/ loss- a di4inishin) o/ he( sel/- until the +e(y b(eath see4ed to be bein) .(ushed /(o4 he(? :he loo1ed at the youn)ish 4an sittin) on the seat a.(oss /(o4 he(- boun.in) a baby on his 1nee? The indul)ent set to his /a.e? :o4ethin) t0isted a)ain inside he( and she a+e(ted he( )aEe? Outside in the st(eet- a 0o4an 0as pushin) a bu))y? A 0o4an? A 4othe(? ,hy did she ha+e hi4 ba.1 a)ainH 6e.ause she .ouldn3t stop? :he 0ouldn3t stop doin) it- couldn*t stop doin) it- until he 1illed he(? And then he3d be 1neelin) do0n by he( )(a+e- pleadin) /o( /o()i+eness- sayin) that he3d )one too /a( this ti4e- he 1ne0 this and he 0as so- so- so((y ? ? ? And he( /u.1in) )host 0ould (ise and loo1 at hi4 in the t0isted- i)no(ant lo+e o/ the i4be.ile- a(4s e9tended- and she3d so/tly bleat- I It3s o1ay- Ceith ? ? ? it3s o1ay ? ? ? Cha(lene 0as )oin) to see Lisa? Needed to see Lisa? They3d d(un1- 2o1ed- done pills- .alled ea.h othe( siste(s? 6ut they 0e(e .lose( than that? Lisa 0as all that 0as le/t? It 0asn3t that she had to a..ept that she3d 0(itten o// he( /athe(- that happened a lon) ti4e a)o? 6ut the (ealisation da0ned on Cha(lene that she3d no0 done the sa4e to he( 4othe(?

The Re2li'a &hirt +roble6
7ab 6i((ell d(e0 the (aEo( slo0ly a.(oss the .ontou(s o/ his /a.e? He3d noti.ed that so4e o/ the hai(s on his .hin 0e(e .o4in) in 0hite? Conside(in) blea1ly that he and the type o/ )i(ls he /an.ied ;i?e?F youn)- sli4< 0ould soon be ope(atin) in a di//e(ent se9ual 4a(1et pla.e- 7ab )a+e hi4sel/ a 4ethodi.al- tho(ou)h sha+e? Lo+e had slipped th(ou)h 7ab3s /in)e(s a /e0 ti4es- and 4ost (e.ently and t(au4ati.ally- se+e(al 4onths a)o? =aybe- he (e/le.ted- it 0as 0hat he (eally 0anted? Joanne and hi4F endin) it all a/te( si9 yea(s? Endin) it? :he3d )i+en hi4 the elbo0 and 4o+ed on? All she3d 0anted 0as so4e se9- so4e a//e.tion and- 0ell- not a4bition (eally- she 0as 4u.h too .ool /o( that- but 4o4entu4? Instead he3d +a.illated- )ot into a (ut- and allo0ed thei( (elationship to sta)nate and (ot li1e /ood le/t outside the /(id)e?
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,hen he (an into he( in a .lub 0ith he( ne0 /elly the othe( 0ee1 his th(oat 0ent d(y? They 0e(e all s4iles and polite handsha1es but so4ethin) 0as 0a(pin) inside hi4? He3d ne+e( seen he( loo1 so beauti/ul- so /ull o/ li/e? The .unt she 0as 0ithF he 0anted to (ip the /u.1e(3s heid o// his shoulde(s and stu// it up his a(se? 7ab to0elled his /a.e? That 0as one thin) he and his b(othe( 6illy had in .o44on- no lu.1 in lo+e? =o+in) th(ou)h to the bed(oo4- 7ab pulled on a )(een La.oste shi(t? The(e 0as a 1no.1 at the doo(? ,hen he 0ent th(ou)h and opened it- he sa0 his pa(ents standin) in /(ont o/ hi4? They stood- openB4outhed /o( a .ouple o/ se.onds- li1e institutionalised pa.1a)e holiday4a1e(s 0ho3d 2ust stepped o// the .oa.h and 0e(e 0aitin) /o( a )uide to tell the4 0hat to do ne9t? 7ab stood aside? I Co4e in? I ,e 0i( passin on ou( 0ey tae 8i3s- his 4othe( :and(a said- steppin) o+e( the th(eshold and loo1in) a(ound .autiously? 7ab 0as a bit sha1en? His =a and Dad had ne+e( been to his /lat be/o(e? I Thou)ht 0e3d .he.1 oot the ne0 pad- ,ullie lau)hed? I I3+e been he(e t0o yea(- 7ab said?

I Ch(ist- is it that lon)H Ho0 ti4e /lies- ,ullie said- pi.1in) a pie.e o/ sha+in) /oa4 out o/ his son3s ea(? I :.(u// o(de(- son- he .hided? 7ab /elt both +iolated and .o4/o(ted by his /athe(3s easy inti4a.y? They /ollo0ed hi4 into the /(ont (oo4? I Dou eatin (i)ht no0 that you( 0i/e3s )oneH :and(a as1ed- he( eyes /o.used on he( son3s /o( any si)n o/ dupli.ity in the4? I :he 0isnae 4a 0i/e? I :i9 yea(s sha(in the sa4e hoose- the sa4e bed- that3s husband n 0i/e in 4a boo1- :and(a said b(is1ly- as 7ab /elt his spine sti//en? ,ullie s4iled help/ully- I Co44onBla0 but- son? 7ab )lan.ed at the .lo.1 on the 0all? I Ah3d 4a1e yis a .up ay tea- but the thin) is ah 0is 2ist oan 4a 0ey oot? Ah 0is )aun doon tae Easte( 7oad- thi(3s a 4at.h oan the ni)ht? I Ah need tae spend a penny- son- :and(a said? 7ab shephe(ded he( th(ou)h the hall0ay- and pointed at a /(ostedB)lass doo( as ,ullie )(ate/ully sat do0n on the .ou.h? I I/ yi( )aun tae the )a4e- yi3ll be able tae 0ea( that st(ip yi( =a boat ye /i( Ch(ist4as- the lu4inous )(een a0ay yin- he u()ed en.ou(a)in)ly? I Eh- na0- ah 0ill so4e ti4e but ah3+e )oat tae nash- 7ab .ounte(ed in haste? That st(ip 0as /u.1in ho((endous?
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:and(a had hea(d this e9.han)e- stalled- and 4o+ed ba.1 into the doo(0ay- unbe1no0n to 7ab? I Eh3s ni+i( 0o(e it- eh disnae li1e it- she a..used- he( eyes /illin) 0ith tea(s- then she added- as she tu(ned on he( heels and headed th(ou)h to0a(ds 7ab3s toilet- I ah 1in dae nothin) (i)ht it see4s ? ? ? ,ullie (ose- )(abbed 7ab3s a(4 and pulled his sho.1ed son .lose to hi4? I Listen- son- he 0hispe(ed u()ently- I yi( =a3s no been 0ell ? ? ? sin.e she .a4e oot ay hoaspital e/ti( that hyste(e.to4y she3s been a0/ay e4otional- he shoo1 his head? I It3s been li1e 0al1in oan e))shells- son? It3s 3is that you oan that Inte(net a)ain3 o( i/ ah34 no it3s 36illy bou)ht ye that e9pensi+e .o4pute(- ye no )aunny yaEe itH3 eh sh(u))ed? 7ab )a+e hi4 an e4patheti. s4ile? I Indul)e he(- son- 4a1e it easy /o( 4e? Pit that bloody st(ip oan /i( the /itba? Just the on.e- a /a+ou(- tae yi( auld 4an- ,ullie pleaded despa(ately? I :he3s )oat this intae he( heid- it3s a0 she tal1s aboot? I Ah li1e tae buy and 0ea( 4a ain .lathes- Dad- 7ab said? ,ullie s5ueeEed his a(4 a)ain- I Go oan- son- 2ist the on.e- a 0ee /a+ou(? 7ab (aised his eyes to the .eilin)? He 0ent th(ou)h to his bed(oo4 and opened the botto4 d(a0e( in his .hest? The ele.t(i. yello0B)(een st(ip lay unopened in its .ellophane pa.1et? It 0as (epulsi+e? He .ouldn3t )o out li1e that? I/ the boys sa0 hi4? A /u.1in (epli.a st(ip ? ? ? He (ipped it /(o4 the 0(appin)- 2e(1ed o// his La.oste shi(t and pulled the )a(4ent on? Ah loo1 li1e a /u.1in lollipop 4an- he thou)ht- as he e9a4ined hi4sel/ in the 4i((o(? Ah34 0ea(in) the (epli.a shi(t- the 4a(1 o/ the 0an1e( e+e(y0he(e? All ah need no0 is tae )et a /u.1in nu4be(? $ TO:: io T,AT ,ANCE7 & :HEEP 2& :ILLD ,EE LADDIE " :POILED 67AT # GLO7D HANTE7 He 0ent ba.1 th(ou)h to the /(ont (oo4? I A0- it3s a0/ay s4a(t- :and(a .ooed- see4in)ly appeased? I It3s (eally spa.eBa)e? I =illenniu4 Hibs- ,ullie s4iled? 7ab3s .ountenan.e (e4ained po1e(B/a.ed? He belie+ed that i/ you let people ta1e libe(ties- e+en- o( pe(haps espe.ially- those .losest to you- then it set a bad p(e.edent? I Ah dinnae 0ant tae .hase yis /ol1s- but ah34 (unnin late? Ah3ll )ie yis a bell n yis 1in .o4e up and ah3ll .oo1 yis a 4eal? I Na0- son- 0e3+e satis/ied ou( .u(iosity? Dou .an .o4e tae yi(
3(9

4othe(3s /i( so4e p(ope( /ood- :and(a said- he( /a.e li/tin) in a ti)ht s4ile? I ,e3ll )it ye doon the (oad- son- ,ullie said- I it3s oan oo( 0ey tae yi( Auntie 8i3s? 7ab3s hea(t see4ed to /all an in.h in his .hest .a+ity? 8i stayed on the 0ay to the )(ound- the(e 0ould be no ti4e to doubleBba.1 and )et (id o/ this 4onst(osity? He put his b(o0n leathe( 2a.1et o+e( it- Eippin) it up to .he.1 that it .o+e(ed the st(ip? Noti.in) his 4obile phone on the .o//ee table- he pi.1ed it up and stu.1 it in his po.1et? As they 0ent do0n the st(eet to the bus stop- :and(a )(abbed the Eip and yan1ed it do0n? I ,ea( yi( .olou(s 0i p(ideG It3s a 0a(4 ni)htG Di3ll no 1en the bene/it late( oan i/ it tu(ns .hilly? Thi(ty ne9t 4onth- and she3s still t(yin tae d(ess ays up li1e a /u.1in doll- 7ab thou)ht? He3d ne+e( been so pleased to pa(t .o4pany 0ith his pa(ents? He stood /o( a 0hile and 0at.hed the4 )o- his 4othe( stout- his /athe( still lean? He th(ust the Eip on his 2a.1et up and 0ent into the pub? Ente(in) the ba(7ab .lo.1ed the boys sittin) in the .o(ne(@ Johnny Cata((h- Phil Nelson- 6a((y :.ott? To his ho((o(- 7ab didn3t

e+en (ealise that- as he .a4e in- he3d instin.ti+ely undone his 2a.1et a)ain? Johnny Cata((h loo1ed at 7ab3s top/i(st in disbelie/- then 0ith a .(o.odile )(in? 7ab (ealised 0hat had happened? I Dinnae Johnny- 2ust dinnae- he said? Then Ga(eth app(oa.hed hi4? Ga(eth- the 4ost styleB.ons.ious .unt e+e( to st(ide a te((a.in)? Anli1e 4ost o/ the boys- 0ho .a4e /(o4 0hat 7ab 0ould te(4 3the .luedBup 0o(1in)B.lass3- Ga(eth had attended Edinbu()h3s poshest s.hool- Fettes Colle)e- 0he(e Tony 6lai( 0as edu.ated? 7ab al0ays li1ed Ga(eth- li1ed the 0ay he played up- (athe( than do0n- his uppe(B4iddleB.lass ba.1)(ound? Dou ne+e( 1ne0 0hen he 0as ta1in) the pisshe a.ted a sti.1le( /o( d(ess and 4anne(s and he alte(nately a4used and appalled the to0n and s.he4e boys 0ith his ton)ueBinB.hee1 he.to(in)? I ,hy .an3t 0e beha+e li1e p(ope( Edinbu()h )entle4enG ,e a(e not ,eed)iesG He3d 4o.1Bha(an)ue in his =al.ol4 7i/1ind a..ent on t(ain 2ou(neys? The boys usually lo+ed it? No0 he loo1ed at 7ab? I Dou3(e su.h a (u))ed indi+idualist 0hen it .o4es to /ashion- 6i((ell- Ga(eth said? I Ho0 did you 4ana)e to /o()e su.h a (esolutely uni5ue sense o/ styleH Not /o( ou( 7ab the .(ass di.tates o/ .onsu4e(is4 ? ? ? 7ab .ould only s4ile and ta1e the b(i.1bats?
330

The pub 0as .(o0din) out 0ith enthusiasti. suppo(te(s- )(o0in) 4o(e so 0ith e+e(y passin) d(in1? 7ab 0as thin1in) about Joanne- about ho0 he should be deli)hted to be /(ee- but ho0 it .e(tainly didn3t /eel that 0ay? He as1ed Ga(eth i/ he 4issed the e9.ite4ent o/ the old days- pa(ti.ula(ly no0 that his /(iend 0as an established +et 0ith his o0n p(a.ti.e- had a pa(tne( and a .hild- 0ith a se.ond on the 0ay? I I/ I34 bein) totally honest- they 0e(e the best yea(s o/ 4y li/e- and they3ll ne+e( be e5ualled? 6ut you .an ne+e( )o ba.1 and the )(eatest 5uality o/ all is bein) able to loo1 at so4ethin) that3s )ood and 1no0 0hen to end it be/o(e it all tu(ns sou(? 6ut do I 4iss itH E+e(y day? The (a+in) too? I 4iss the /u.1 out o/ that as 0ell? Joanne had )one- and 7ab- ba( one unsatis/a.to(y sha)- had been se9less sin.e? Andy had 4o+ed into the spa(e (oo4@ he no0 had a /lat4ate instead o/ a )i(l/(iend? He 0as a student? :tudyin) to be 0hatH Thi(ty yea(s old- no bi(d- p(a.ti.ally une4ployable? ,hat a s.o(eline? 7ab en+ied Ga(eth? He see4ed to 1no0 0hat he 0anted to do st(ai)ht /(o4 the o//? His t(ainin) had ta1en a lon) ti4e- but he3d 2ust stu.1 (i)ht at it? I ,hat 4ade ye be.o4e a +et any0eyH 7ab on.e as1ed hi4- hal/ thin1in) he3d )et a dis.ou(se on ani4al 0el/a(e and spi(ituality and antiBspe.ies /as.is4? Ga(eth set his /a.e deadpan and spo1e in 4easu(ed tones- I I see it as a 0ay o/ 4a1in) a4ends? In the past I3+e been (esponsible /o( .ausin) a /ai( bit o/ su//e(in) to ani4als- he added- s4ilin)- I pa(ti.ula(ly on t(ips to Pa(1head and Ib(o9? They /inished thei( d(in1s and st(ode (ound to the )(ound? A ne0 stand 0as unde( .onst(u.tion- the .onde4ned old (ustBbu.1et to(n do0n? He (e4e4be(ed his dad ta1in) hi4 and Le9o the(e- 0ith 6illy and Gally? Ho0 they /elt posh be.ause they 0e(e in the standG That /u.1in) old 0ood and .o((u)ated i(on slu4G ,hat a 2o1e? The old boys 0ould sta4p thei( /eet dooBdoo- dooBdooBdoo- dooBdooBdooBdoo ? ? ? HibeesG 7ab (e.1oned it 0as 4o(e to do 0ith 1eepin) the .i(.ulation in thei( /eet )oin) than anythin) that 0as happenin) on the pit.h? No0 it 0as the Festi+al :tadiu4- o( th(ee sides o/ it 0e(e? The oldBs.hool punte(s still huddled unde( the spa(tan /o(4e( te((a.in)- on the east side o/ the )(ound- 2ust 0aitin) /o( the bulldoEe(s and builde(s to (ende( the4 e9tin.t- o( tu(n the4 /(o4 /ootball /ans into spo(ts .onsu4e(s? 7ab tu(ned to Johnny- 0at.hin) as he ho01ed up so4e phle)4 and splatte(ed it onto the .on.(ete o/ 0hat 0as the old te((a.ed /loo( o/
331

the east stand? :oon Johnny 0ould be slun) out the )(ound unde( poli.e es.o(t /o( that beha+iou(? En2oy it 0hile you .an?

Mar)etin9 <22ortunities
:he3ll be minted 0ith all he( (oyalties by no0 any0ay- Taylo( s4i(1ed- I as lon) as ??? ha ha ha ??? as lon) as ??? the ta9 people ha+en3t dedu.ted anythin) at source, he 0ept in lau)hte(? The d(in1s 0e(e slidin) do0n easily and F(an1lin and Taylo( 0e(e on the b(in1 o/ 4a1in) a ni)ht o/ it- but F(an1lin pulled ba.1? I 6est .he.1 on the bit.h- he slu((ed- 0in.in) inside at his o0n 0o(ds@ pa(t o/ hi4 hatin) the easy .o4pli.ity he ente(ed into 0ith Taylo( a/te( a /e0 d(in1s? 6ut she %as so /u.1in) sel/Bobsessed? Taylo( 0as (i)ht? ,hat 0as the bi) deal about li/tin) a /o(1 to you( 4outh- .he0in) and s0allo0in)H He (an) he( (oo4 /(o4 his 4obile phone but the(e 0as no (eply? In 4ountin) pani.- he hu((ied ba.1 to the hotel- en+isa)in) a bony .o(pse on the bed alon)side a bottle o/ +od1a and so4e sleepin) pills? Taylo( /ollo0ed ea)e(ly- a si4ila( i4a)e bu(nin) his head? 6ut /o( hi4 the sa4e p(ospe.t insti)ated a state o/ e9.ited a(ousal- and he 0as al(eady thin1in) o/ the t(a.1 listin)s /o( the 36est o/ ? ? ?3 double albu4? Then the(e 0as the bo9ed set- and- o/ .ou(se- the t(ibute albu4? Alanis 0ould .o+e( a Cath(yn Joyne( nu4be(? Essential? Annie

Lenno9 ??? a 4ust? Tanita Ti1a(a4 ? ? ? T(a.y Chap4an ? ? ? :inead? Those 0e(e the na4es 0hi.h i44ediately sp(un) to 4ind? It had to be b(oade(Bbased thou)h- and you needed 5uality? A(etha 0as a lon)Bshot but it 0as possible? Joan Jett as a 0ildB.a(d ent(y? Dolly Pa(ton /o( a .ount(y nu4be(? Pe(haps e+en Debbie Ha((y o( =a.y G(ay .ould be enti.ed? =aybe e+en =adonna? The possibilities spun th(ou)h his 4ind as the hotel doo(s .a4e into +ie0? 6oth 4en 0e(e astonished to be told that Cath(yn had le/t 0ith a 4an about hal/ an hou( ea(lie(? I Dou 4ean she .he.1ed outH F(an1lin )asped? Oh no? :he3s 2ust )one out- the )i(l at (e.eption said e//i.iently- noBnonsense eyes )la(in) at hi4 /(o4 unde( a bla.1 /(in)e? :he ne+e( 0ent out 0ith st(an)e(s? The bit.h 0as a)o(aphobi.? I ,hat 0as he li1e- this 4anH Kuite bi)- so(t o/ .o(1s.(e0 hai(? I ,hatH
33(

I Li1e a pe(4- the 1ind that people 0o(e a)es a)o? I ,hat state o/ 4ind 0ould you say she 0as inH F(an1lin as1ed the (e.eptionist? I ,e don3t atte4pt to psy.hoanalyse ou( )uests- si(- she told hi4 b(is1ly? Taylo( allo0ed hi4sel/ a little s4i(1 at that?

Ri'hard -ere
A/te( a lon) bath- she put the )retty Woman +ideo on the 8C7? Lisa /elt a (ush o/ )uilt 0ith the su()e o/ po0e( that b(ou)ht the +ib(ato( in he( hand to li/e? As i/ she hadn3t had enou)h .o.1 in IbiEa- all shapes- siEes and .olou(s- but that 0as o/ten it 0ith .o.1- the 4ai( you had- the 4ai( you 0anted? That it.hy pissB/lap had /la(ed up a)ain- and a .a(e/(ee s.(at.h had be.o4e an e9plo(ation? Then te.hnolo)y .a4e into its o0n? It )ot to the sta)e o/ the +ideo bein) s0it.hed on and the slo0- deli.ious t0ea1in) o/ the .lit? 7i.ha(d Ge(e 1ne0 all about /o(eplay (i)ht enou)h- nobody had been able to send Lisa into su.h (aptu(e? No0 let3s see i/ Di.1y is di.1y enou)h to /inish o// the 2ob ? ? ? I 7i.ha(d ? ? ? Lisa )(oaned- as 7i.ha(d3s hu)e- +ib(atin) plasti. p(i.1 5ui+e(ed i4pla.ably on he( .unt lips(unnin) slo0ly o+e( the4- nud)in) the4 apa(t 0ith )(eat s1ill as he 0o(1ed his 0ay slo0ly into he(? He stopped- 4o4enta(ily easin) out a little- as she )(ound he( teeth and )aEed at his toothy s4ile on the s.(een? ,o(1in) de/tly 0ith +ideo (e4ote in one hand and the +ib(ato( in the othe(- Lisa )asped as 7i.ha(d .a4e into .loseBup? I T(y 4e- he said to he(- as she hit the pause button? I Don3t tease 4e baby ? ? ? )i+e it to 4e- Lisa be))ed- 0indin) the tape on to the pa(t 0he(e the sound o/ 7i.ha(d3s 2eans bein) unEipped is /ollo0ed by a shot o/ hi4 in the sho0e(? Then /o(0a(d /aste( FFR The hu4 o/ the +ib(ato( ? ? ? Then /o(0a(d /aste( FFR PAA:E The bell end o/ 7i.ha(d3s plasti. .o.1 pushin) a)ainst he( .unt lips- 0hile onBs.(een- his i(oni.- sli)htly sly eyes (e/le.tin) he( desi(e- he(
333

o0n dep(a+ity ? ? ? and that deli.ious battle /o( .ont(ol ? ? ? that bi) /u.1in) tease- 0ithout 0hi.h e+e(ythin) is 2ust dull 4e.hani.s ? ? ?

PLAD
7i.ha(d and he( in bed? 7i.ha(d in .loseBup? I I thin1 you a(e a +e(y b(i)ht- +e(y spe.ial 0o4an ? ? ? # Oh 7i.ha(d ? ? ? 7e0ind 7E,SS 7e0ind 7E,SS PAA:E >>>>>>>>>> ??? I Ohhh 7i.ha(d ? ? ? PLAD 7i.ha(d3s toothy s4ile /ades and his /a.e sets into business 4ode? I I 0ill pay you to be at 4y be.1 and .all ? ? ? 7E,SS I 4y be.1 and .all ? ? ? 7E,SS I I 0ill pay you to be at 4y be.1 and .all ? ? ? I Dou3+e ne+e( hud a 0o4an li1e 4e be/o(e- son- none ay these /u.1in /(i)id Holly0ood bit.hes no0- pal ???

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I A0 ya /u.1e( ? ? ? FFR

Fo(0a(d- past the si4pe(in) i4a)e o/ that /u.1in Julia 7obe(ts- he( in.lusion spoils e+e(ythin)- .ause /o( Lisa it3s )ot to be 2ust he( and 7i.ha(d ? ? ? PAA:E PLAD I I34 .o4in) up- 7i.ha(d tells Lisa ? ? ? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I Oh 4y )od- 7i.ha(d ? ? ? >>>>>>>>>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ? ? ? As 7i.ha(d pushed his plasti. di.1 in /u(the(- so4ethin) 0as )oin) 0(on)? Lisa3s heated b(ain 0as in+olunta(ily snappin) in (ene)ade /lashba.1 to the d(un1en I(ish )uy in :an Antonio? His p(i.1 .(u4blin) into putty and spillin) out he( as he said- I Jaysus- this has ne+e( happened to 4e be/o(e ? ? ?

??? EEEEE ??? EEEEE ??? EE ??? E ???
6ut this .ouldn3t happen to 7i.ha(d ? ? ?
33/

Then nothin)? Fu.1in basta(d ? ? ? The batte(ies- the /aithe(/u.1in) batte(ies? Lisa st(on)ly tu))ed the 0et pie.e o/ late9 /(o4 he(- and pulled up he( pants? :he 0as (eady to hit the )a(a)e- (e/le.tin) sel/Bloathin)ly that a .le+e( lassie 1ept a Du(e9 in he( handba) but a .le+e(e( one 1ept a Du(a.ell? Then the buEEe( 0ent and Lisa Lenno9 hit the (e4ote- e9tin)uishin) the i4a)e /(o4 the s.(een? :he (ose tensely and headed /o( the /(ont doo(?

*lue Mountains: ;&W: Australia ,ednesday ?'% a4
I34 up on 4y /eet and out the tent- 0(ithin) and t0istin) into a 4ass o/ sensuous bodies? Celeste Pa(lou( and 7eedy a(e /lan1in) 4e- 4a1in) (eassu(in) noises? I That3s it 4ate- dan.e it o//? Dan.e it o//? The bass be)ins to syn.h(onise 0ith 4y hea(tbeat and I /eel 4y b(ain e9pand beyond the .on/ines o/ s1ull and )(ey 4atte(? 0000ooooO::::HHH The(e3s people t0istin) a0ay in the s0i(lin) dust- dan.in) hal/Bna1ed- so4e 0ild and bu))ed (i)ht outothe(s as 2aunty as .aba(et dan.e(s on a se+enties :atu(day ni)ht p(i4eBti4e sho0? And I spin a0ay out0a(ds and in0a(ds- up0a(ds- do0n0a(ds and side0ays- 2udde(in) in a 0on1y ast(al p(o2e.tion until I .an /eel so4ethin) li1e .old 4a(ble (epla.in) the hot ea(th unde( 4y ba(e /eet? I34 he(e and I34 (eady? I =a boa9- 0hai(e3s 4a boa9- I shout at the boy 0ho3s on the de.1s- and he nods to 4y /eet and 7eedy3s helpin) 4e and I )et the /i(st tune out 4y (e.o(d bo9 and )o to put it on? The(e3s people (ound the podiu4? A .hant )oes up- NB:IGN- NB:IGN ? ?? Th(ou)h it all I hea( one +oi.e- a :.ottish +oi.e- de(iso(y and 4ali)nant? I He3s /u.1ed- it says? They3(e t0istin) into /o(4 out o/ the dust- .li.hQd 4o+e4ents de/inin) identity to 4e be/o(e /eatu(es- 0hi.h ne+e( see4 to .o4e into sha(p enou)h /o.us? I hea( .on.e(ned +oi.es- and su//o.atin) .lothes a(e d(aped on 4e- a.(oss 4y shoulde(s- stoppin) 4y s1in b(eathin)- .ho1in) 4e- so4ethin) is stu.1 on 4y head ??? I 0ant to ta1e all the laye(s o//- st(ip the /lesh /(o4 4y bone- /(ee 4y spi(it /(o4 this /este(in)- su//o.atin) .a)e?
33#

? ? ? the se(pentine .u((ents o/ hot ai( t0ist a(ound 4e- to(4entin) and ent(appin)? I )o (i)ht a.(oss the de.1s- a(se o+e( tit- and 0at.h the openB4outhed ho((o( o/ the boys and )i(ls as the 4usi. s.(un.hes and I .(ash onto the ha(d )(ound? I /eel that 0ay li1e those supe(Bhe(oes loo1 0hen they3+e been blasted by a (ay )un and blo0n /(o4 a tall buildin)? Ti(ed out- (athe( than in spQ.i/ie pain? I 2ust lau)h and lau)h and lau)h? The(e3s The =an- he3s du4ped that 2a.1et- he3s 2ust 0ea(in) the .o4bat t(oose(s and the +est? The(e3s a b(illiant boy3s /itba tattoo on his a(4? 6e(tie 6lade is loo1in) all s4u)- /le9in) his 4us.les as a dishe+elled Ossie O0l lies at his /eet? 7eedyG He3s as1in) i/ I34 o1ay? No0 Helena3s he(e as 0ell- she3s t(yin) to tal1 to 4e but I34 )(innin) stupidly at he(? HelenaH Helena3s he(e? I 4ust be /u.1in) 0ell d(ea4in)? HelenaG Ho0 the /u.1 ? ? ? I34 pettin) so4ethin)- a 1ind o/ 0ellB/ed .a(ni+o(e o/ so4e des.(iption as he( 0o(ds be.o4e 4eanin)lesse+apo(atin) in the heat o/ 4y b(ain? The .(eatu(e pu((s then opens its 4outh and /(o4 its sto4a.h (an.id +apou(s /ly up and assault 4e? Tu(nin) a0ay- I (ise and 4o+e into a .(o0d? To0a(ds the bass- I hea( so4ebody .all 4y na4e- not 4y na4e as it is no0- but 4y old na4e- but it3s a )i(l3s na4e- not 4ine?

Ca(l is the leade( o/ the )i(ls?

(dinbur9h: &'otland Wednesda# /?'0 p4? =e4o(ies o/ Pipe(s Di:COTe.
Jui.e Te((y .ouldn3t belie+e his lu.1 0hen he3d seen the inte(national sin)in) sta( 0aitin) /o( hi4 in the lobby o/ the 6al4o(al? :he 0o(e an e9pensi+eBloo1in) 0hite 2a.1et- 0ith bla.1 b(ushedBdeni4 2eans? He 0as )lad he3d 4ade the e//o(t to sho0e( and sha+e and di) out his o0n bla.1 .(ushedB+el+et dis.o 2a.1et- e+en i/ it 0as a bit snu) these days? He3d t(ied to )el his /(iEEy hai( do0n- and had so4e su..ess- thou)h he suspe.ted it 0ould be up by the end o/ the ni)ht? I A0(i)ht- CathH Ho0 )oes itH I I34 /ine- she told hi4 th(ou)h he( sho.1 as she beheld Te((y? He loo1ed a 4ess@ she3d ne+e( seen anybody d(essed so badly? I 7i)ht ? ? ? lit3s )it a be++y o0e( the (oad in the Guild/o(d- then 0e3ll )it a ta9i doon tae Leith? A .ouple ay s.oops in the 6ay Hoa(se then 4ibbe a 0ee bu4 bu(ne( ne9t doo( at the 7a2? I I )uess so- Cath(yn said tentati+ely- .o4pletely ba//led as to 0hat Te((y 0as on about? I Ah say to4atay- you say to4aytay- Jui.e Te((y 5uipped? The 7a2 0as a )ood .all- a .lass a.t in .u((y houses? He3d only been on.e be/o(e- but that /ish pa1o(a ? ? ? Te((y /elt the du.ts in his 4outh open and s5ui(t li1e a sp(in1le( syste4 in a blaEin) shoppin) .ent(e? He .ast his eye o+e( Cath(yn as they .(ossed P(in.es :t(eet? :he 0as a s1inny lassie (i)ht enou)h? :he didnae loo1 that 0ell? :till- nothin) a )ood 7uby =u((ay and a /e0 pints .ouldnae put (i)ht? Needed a bit ay :.ottish bee/ inside he( and tae /u.1 0i the 6:E o( HI8 (is1s in+ol+ed? He .ould tell that she 0as 0ell i4p(essed by hi4? =ind you- he3d 4ade a bit o/ an e//o(t 0ith the to)s? He (easoned that (i.h bi(ds 0e(e used to standa(ds- you .ouldnae 2ust 0in) it 0ith the4? They )ot into the Guild/o(d A(4s? It 0as /ull o/ Festi+al types and
33*

o//i.e 0o(1e(s? Cath(yn /elt ne(+ous and inse.u(e in the .(o0d and the s4o1e and o(de(ed a pint o/ la)e(ta1in) he( .ue /(o4 Jui.e Te((y? They /ound a .o(ne( seat and she 0as d(in1in) 5ui.1ly- /eelin) a little diEEy by the ti4e he( )lass 0as hal/Be4pty? To he( ho((o( Te((y put 7ictimised By You on the 2u1e bo9? Tell 4e you don3t (eally lo+e 4e loo1 at 4e and tell 4e t(ue all 4y li/e I3+e been the +i.ti4 o/ 4en 0ho +i.ti4ise li1e you I see the bottle o/ +od1a and pills 4y 4ind haEes o+e( in a 4ist I )o nu4b as I .onsu4e the4 all a +i.ti4 o/ lo+e3s /ate/ul t0ist 6ut tell 4e boy- ho0 0ill you /eel 0hen you sta(e do0n upon 4y .o(pse 0ill you( hea(t still be as .old 0hen 4y blue /(oEen /lesh you hold Oh baby 0hat 4o(e .an I say In 4y hea(t o/ hea(ts I 1ne0 that it 0ould 2ust end this sad 0ay a doo4ed lo+e0hat .an 0e doBhoBho I Tell ye 0hat but- it 4ust )it ye doon sin)in) they son)s? It 0ould d(i+e 4e up the 0a0? :ee the li1es ay 4e- ah34 intae 4a s1a? Happy 4usi.- 1enH Des4ond De11e(- that3s 4a 4an? The No(the(n n a0? ,e used tae (un a bus doon tae ,i)an Casino- ba.1 in the day- 1enH Te((y said p(oudly? This 0as a lie- but it should i4p(ess a .hi.1 /(o4 the 4usi. business- he thou)ht? Cath(yn nodded politely- blan1ly? I 6ut 4a 4ain 4usi. 0is dis.o- he opened his 2a.1et and sp(ead it /(o4 the lapels 0ith his thu4bs- I thus the to)s- he added in a theat(i.al /lou(ish? I 6a.1 in the ei)hties I spent a lot o/ ti4e in :tudio &! in Ne0 Do(1 City- Cath(yn told hi4? I Ah 1en punte(s thit 0ent o0e( thai(- Te((y (eto(ted a((o)antlyI but 0e hud it he(e bette(@ Pipe(s- 6obby =.Gee3s- The ,est End
339

Club- Annabel3s ??? the lot? Edinbu()h 0is the real ho4e ay dis.o? Cunt3s in Ne0 Do(1 tend tae /o()et that? He(e it 0is 4u.h 4ai( ... unde()(ound ??? but at the sa4e ti4e 4ainst(ea4- i/ ye 1en 0hat ah34 d(i+in at? B I don3t )et it- Cath(yn said asse(ti+ely? Te((y 0as t(yin) to )et it? It 0as 0ei(d- he .onte4plated- the 0ey so4e Dan1 bi(ds spo1e up 0hen they 0e(e 2ist 4eant tae be polite and nod +a.antly- li1e a (eal bi(d /ae o0e( he(e 0ould dae? I It3s too 4u.h tae e9plainTe((y said- then added- I ah 4ean- ye3d hu+ hud tae hu+ been thai(e tae )it 0hat ah34 tal1in) aboot?

*lue Mountains: ;&W: Australia ,ednesday %? 2 a4
I3+e been ta1en ba.1 into the tent? Helena3s )ot a hold o/ 4e? He( hai( is in t0o pi)tails- he( eyes a(e (ed li1e she3s been .(yin)? I Dou3(e so /u.1ed- you .an3t unde(stand 0hat I34 sayin) to you- .an youH I .an3t spea1? I 0(ap an a(4 a(ound he( shoulde(s- and t(y to apolo)ise but I34 too /u.1ed up to tal1? I 0ant to

tell he( that she3s the best )i(l/(iend I3+e e+e( had- the best that anybody3s e+e( had? :he )(abs 4y head in the pal4s o/ he( hands? I LI:TEN? CAN DOA HEA7 =E- CA7LH Is this (e.(i4ination o( (e.on.iliation ??? I .an hea( you ??? I say so/tly- then in su(p(ise that I .an hea( 4y o0n +oi.e- I (epeat 0ith 4o(e .on/iden.e- I I .an hea( youG I The(e3s no othe( 0ay I .an tell you this ? ? ? /u.1? Dou( 4othe( phoned? Dou( /athe(3s +e(y ill? He3s had a st(o1e? ,hat ? ? ? No? Don3t be da/t- not 4y old boy- he3s /ine- he3s as /it as a /iddle- he3s bette( than 4e ? ? ? :he3s no 1iddin) but? :he3s no /u.1in 1iddin)?

FACCIN ??? NA, ??? NO =A AALD =AN ??? NO =A FAITHE7 ? ? ?
=y hea(t3s th(ashin) in 4y .hest in pani.- and I34 on 4y /eet and t(yin) to /ind hi4- loo1in) /o( hi4 as i/ he3s in the tent? I Ai(po(t- I hea( 4ysel/ say? A +oi.e .o4in) /(o4 4e? I The ai(po(t ? ? ? hooses and shoaps ??? I ,hatH Celeste Pa(lou( )oes?
3/1

I He3s sayin) he 0ants to )o to the ai(po(t- Helena says- used to 4y a..ent- e+en 0hen ah34 .abba)ed? I No 0ay? He .an3t t(a+el today? De( )oin) no0he(e- 4ate- 7eedy in/o(4s 4e? I Just )et 4e on that plane- I say? I Please? A /a+ou(? They 1no0 I 4ean it? E+en 7eedy? I No 0o((ies4ate? Do you need to )et .han)edH I Just )et 4e on that plane- I (epeat? 6(o1en (e.o(d? Just )et 4e on that plane? Oh 4y )od ? ? ? I3+e )ot to )et tae the /u.1in ai(po(t? I 0ant to see hi4- no I don3t? NO NO- DOA37E NOT ON- AH3= NO HA8IN THI: No? I 0ant to (e4e4be( hi4 as he 0as? As he3ll al0ays be to 4e? A st(o1e ? ? ? ho0 the /u.1 .an he ha+e had a st(o1e ? ? ? 7eedy sha1es his head? BI Ca(l- you s4ell li1e a /ilthy old do)? They ain3t )onna let ye( on no plane in that state? A 4o4ent o/??? not e9a.tly .la(ity- but .ont(ol? The e9e(.ise o/ 0ill? Ho0 ho((ible it 4ust be to al0ays be st(ai)ht- to ha+e the bu(den o/ 0ill all the ti4e- to ne+e( be able to su((ende( it? 6ut I3+e su((ende(ed it at the 0(on) /u.1in ti4e? A d(a0n b(eath? An atte4pt to open 4y eyes and /o.us th(ou)h the noise- dislo.ation and hold up those ti(ed shutte(s o/ eyelids? I ,hat do you thin1 I34 sayin) to youH I Deah- Ca(l- I hea( you- you 0ant 4e to )et you on that plane- Helena says? I nod? Helena sta(ts to loo1 and sound li1e 4y 4othe(? I I 2ust don3t thin1 it3s a /easible option at the 4o4ent- but it3s you( .all? Dou( ba) is he(e? I3+e )ot you( passpo(t and I3+e boo1ed a ti.1et on 4y .(edit .a(d? Dou3ll pi.1 it up at the 6(itish Ai(0ays des1? I3+e )ot the lo.ato( nu4be( he(e? I3ll ta1e you to the ai(po(t no0? :he3s done it all /o( 4e? I nod hu4bly? :he is the best? I Than1s /o( doin) this /o( 4e? I3ll pay you ba.1 ? ? ? I3ll .lean up- so(t 4asel out? I The(e3s a bi))e( issue he(e- you sel/ish basta(d? Dou t(ied to 1ill you(sel/G I lau)h loudly? ,hat bollo.1s? I/ I3d t(ied to 1ill 4ysel/ I 0ouldn3t do it 0ith d(u)s? I3d 2u4p o// a ??? o// a .li// o( so4ethin)? I 0as 2ust loo1in) /o( so4ebody?
3/(

I Don3t lau)h at 4e- she shouts? I Dou too1 all those pills and 0ande(ed o// out into the bush? I I 2ust too1 too 4any d(u)s? I 0anted to stay a0a1e? No0 I need tae see 4y Dad- oh 4y God 4y pe(( /u.1in /aithe( ? ? ? Celeste3s a(4s )o (ound 4e? I Ho0 lon)3s he been up no0H Helena as1s 7eedy? I34 so((y Helena ? ? ? I34 0ea1? I34 (unnin) a)ain? Holdin) out and (unnin) /(o4 a )ood thin)F Elsa- AlisonCandi.e- then you? And all the othe( ones I 0ouldn3t let )et any0he(e nea( as .lose? I Fou( days? I /eel li1e I3+e be.o4e a sub2e.t a)ain? I thin1 loudly- I Ai(po(t? Please? Do it /o( 4e- pleaseG and I hope it .o4es out as a shout? He3s dyin)? And I34 lyin) /u.1ed- in the bush- on the othe( side o/ the 0o(ld? No0 0e3(e in the 2eep- and tu4blin) o+e( the stones put do0n to stop the old di(t t(a.1 0ashin) a0ay? It 2olts and it tea(s and I (attle in the ba.1 seat? I see the nape o/ Helena3s ne.1- the b(aided bun.hes o/ he( hai(?

The(e3s a t(i.1le o/ s0eat on the ba.1 o/ he( ne.1 and I3+e an al4ost o+e(0hel4in) u()e to li.1 it- 1iss it- su.1 it- eat he( li1e I 0as a /u.1in +a4pi(e- 0hi.h I p(obably a4- thou)h o/ the so.ial 1ind? I (esist as the (oad /o(1s and the 4ountains .ast lon) shado0s and I thin1 in a se.ond o/ pani. that 0e3+e ta1en the 0(on) /o(1- but 0hat the /u.1 do I 1no0? The (est o/ the4 see4 .ool enou)h? Celeste Pa(lou( spots 4y an9iety and as1s- I Dou al(i)ht- Ca(lH I as1 he( i/ she suppo(ts A(senal and she loo1s at 4e as i/ I34 4ad and then )oes- I Nah- 6(i)hton 4ate? I The :ea)ulls- I s4ile? They still )oin)H They 0e(e in t(ouble 0hen I 0as last ba.1 in the AC ? ? ? Celeste s4iles beni)nly? I loo1 (ound at 7eedy 0ith his .oppe(ed- 0eathe(Bbeaten s1in- tou)h and sli.1 as e9pensi+e leathe(? I Leeds- eh 7eedyH I Foo1 Leeds- I34 :he//ield Anited? I O/ .ou(se- I say as 0e pull onto anothe( )(a+el t(a.1- then onto a ta(4a.1ed (oad? Lu.1y 7eedy3s sound- I dese(+ed the nut 0o(1ed onto 4e /o( a fau- !as li1e that? He 0as a boy- ba.1 in the day? 6lades 6usiness C(e0e? It3s plain sailin) all the 0ay- Helena d(i+in) in a silen.e 0hi.h I sense is +iolent but 0hi.h I /eel too 0ea1 to t(y and b(ea1 up any 4o(e- and Pa(lou( and 7eedy a(e .o4/y enou)h 0ith it? I doEe o//- o( t(ip into a st(an)e Eone and then I 0a1e 0ith a sta(t3/3

/eelin) 4y li/e /o(.e snappin) ba.1 into the 2eep /(o4 /a( a0ay? ,e3(e on the hi)h0ay to the ai(po(t? A ni)ht4a(e o/ t(a+el 0ith a bi))e( one to .o4e? 6ut I ha+e to do this? =y /athe(3s dyin)- 4aybe e+en dead? Fu.1 that? ,hat 0as it ,ee Gally said- 0hen he told 4e he 0as si.1H Let3s no bothe( hu+in any /u.1in /une(als until 0e3+e )oat so4e .unt tae bu(y? Please let it not be 4y /athe(? Dun.an E0a(t /(o4 Cil4a(no.1? ,hat 0e(e his ten (ulesH

? NE8E7 HIT A ,O=AN
2? AL,AD: 6ACC AP DOA7 =ATE: '? NE8E7 :CA6 !? NE8E7 C7O:: A PICCET LINE &? NE8E7 G7A:: F7IEND NO7 FOE "? TELL THE= NO,T ;THE= 6EING POLI:- DOLE- :OCIAL- JOA7NALI:T:- COANCILCEN:A:- ETC?< %? NE8E7 LET A ,EEC GO 6D ,ITHOAT IN8E:TING IN NE, 8INDL #? GI8E ,HEN DOA CAN- TACE ONLD ,HEN DOA HA8E TO $? IF DOA FEEL HIGH O7 LO,- =IND THAT NOTHING GOOD O7 6AD LA:T: FO7 E8E7 AND TODAD3: THE :TA7T OF THE 7E:T OF DOA7 LIFE I0? GI8E LO8E F7EELD- 6AT 6E TIGHTE7 ,ITH T7A:T I3+e been /ound 0antin)- espe.ially in 2 and #? The othe(s I3+e p(obably done o1ay in? 6ut 7eedy3s (i)ht? I do s4ell li1e an old do)- and I /eel li1e one? I (e4e4be( the .o(pse o/ a (ottin) din)o- by the side o/ the (oad in Kueensland? Not a .a( in si)ht- a .lea( ho(iEon /o( 4iles? That /u.1in ani4al 4ust ha+e been (eally stupid to ha+e )ot hit? =o(e li1ely it 0as a sui.ide atte4ptG Could a do)- in its natu(al en+i(on4ent0ild as /u.1- a.tually be sui.idalH Ha ha ha? Go()es- .li//s- )u4 t(ees ? ? ? the blue haEe o/ the eu.alyptus 0hi.h )i+es the 4ountains thei( na4e? Lost .onta.t 0ith ho4e at Ch(ist4as? The subu(bs suddenly s0allo0 us? ,e3(e ba.1 on the ,este(n 4oto(0ay? I (e4e4be( 0hen 0e /i(st 4o+ed to :ydney? I .ouldn3t belie+e that the 6ondi bea.h in :ydney- li1e the Copa.abana in 7io- 0as 2ust about
3//

as /a( out as Po(tobello 0as /(o4 the .ent(e o/ Edinbu()h? =ai( sand but? ,e )ot ou( apa(t4ent out the(e? =e and Helena? :he too1 he( pi.tu(es? I played 4y (e.o(ds?

(dinbur9h: &'otland Wednesda# #?0% p4? Ai(Bb(ush It
F(an1lin 0as de+astated? ,he(e the hell .ould she ha+e )oneH The )i) 0as to4o((o0 ni)ht? He had to 1eep this out o/ the p(ess o( Taylo( 0ould 2ust d(op he(? He pi.1ed up the albu4 .o+e( 0hi.h /eatu(ed an ai(B b(ushed photo o/ a /(esh and healthy Cath(yn? He sa0 a pen on the 0(itin) des1 in his (oo4 and s.(a0led- 0ith )(eat +eno4 and spite- the 0o(ds DA=6 FACC a.(oss it? I =utton d(essed as 4utton- he said bitte(ly to he( s4ilin) po(t(ait? And no0 he had that /u.1in) (e.eption /o( he(- the one the Edinbu()h Festi+al people had put on /o( the4? ,hat 0as he )oin) to say to the4H

An 5rban M#th
Cath(yn 0as 0a(y 0hen Te((y /la))ed do0n a ta9i? A d(in1 in the pub a.(oss the (oad 0as one thin)- but )ettin) into a .ab 0ith this )uy 0as uppin) the sta1es? 6ut his /a.e see4ed so ea)e( and /(iendly as he held open the doo( o/ the ta9i that Cath(yn .ouldn3t do anythin) othe( than step in? He 0as .hatte(in) in.essantly as she 0as t(yin) to /ind he( bea(in)s as a busy st(eet /lashed by? To he( (elie/- it see4ed to be still the inne( .ity 0hen they ali)hted- e+en thou)h it 0as a less a//luent 5ua(te(? They had ta1en the ta9i to Leith and 0ent into a pub in Jun.tion :t(eet? Te((y 0as /(o4 the 0est side o/ the .ity and (e.1oned that the(e 0as less .han.e o/ (unnin) into so4eone he 1ne0 do0n he(e? He set
3/#

up 4o(e pints? Cath(yn 0as soon d(un1 and /ound that the la)e( 0as 4a1in) he( babble? I I don3t 0anna tou( o( 4a1e (e.o(ds any 4o(e ??? she /(etted- I I /eel 4y li/e isn3t 4y o0n? I Cen 0hat ye 4ean? That Tony 6lai( .unt- 0o(se than That.he( that 0an1e(? He3s )oat this Ne0 Deal shite? De hu+ tae dae ei)hteen hou(s3 0o(1 o( the .unts stoap yi( )i(o? Ei)hteen hou(s3 )(a/t a 0ee1 so4e .unt )ets oot ay ye /o( /u.1 all? :la+e /u.1in labou(? ,hat3s a0 that abootH Dou tell 4e? I I dunno ? ? ? I Dou3+e no )oat hi4 thou)h- eh no? Dou3+e )oat the .unt that3s sha))in hi4- that .unt 0i the hai( ? ? ? I P(esident Clinton ? ? ? I That3s the boy? Aye- that =oni.a bi(d )ied hi4 a blo0B2ob so eh )oes n says tae Tony 6lai(- you 1in (epla.e =oni.a i/ ye ba.1 ays up 0i bo4bin that =ilose+i. .unt? I That3s nonsense- Cath(yn shoo1 he( head at Te((y? Te((y 0as a belie+e( in the /o(.e- (athe( than the detail o/ a()u4ent? I Ah- uh- that3s 0hat thi 0ant ye tae belie+e- a0 they .unts? Ah )oat it a0 /ae a )ad)e in the booEe( 0hose siste( 4ai((ied a top .i+il se(+ant boy doon in London? A0 the ne0s they t(y tae 1eep ba.1 /ae ye? Couldnae (un a 4essa)e- thon t0ats? Ne0 deal4a e(se? The thin) is- ah hate 0o(1in n a0? Ah34 only daein the 0indaes tae help oot Post Ale.- but eh? The 2ui.e lo((ies- that 0is 4a )a4e? Tae )ie 4e 4a p(ope( title ah 0is an Ae(ated ,ate(s :ales4an? Goat peyed oa/ ba.1 in $# ? Ah used tae dae a0 the 2ui.e lo((ies (oond the s.he4esF Hend(y3s- Globe- 6a((s ??? ah thin1 6a((s a(e the only yins le/t? The I(n 6(u 1ept the4 )aun? :o these dole .unts- the (esta(t /u.1e(s- tu(n (oond n sais tae aysF 0e3ll )it ye a 2oab sellin 2ui.e? Cath(yn loo1ed at Te((y in utte( be0ilde(4ent? To he( he sounded li1e the (aspin) en)ine o/ an outboa(d 4oto(- only 4u.h loude(? I Cunts only 0anted ays tae 0o(1 in an 7?:? =.Coll3s- Te((y e9plained- see4in)ly obli+ious to he( la.1 o/ unde(standin)- I but that 0ould hu+ 4eant sellin s0eeties n ne0spape(s as 0ell as 2ui.e n ah 0isnae up /i( that? That3s ho0 ah )oat the na4e 8uice Te((y- 1enH The .unt that sta(ted 7?:? =.Coll used tae play /o( the Huns n a0- so thi( 0is nae 0ey ah .ould 0o(1 thai(e? Listen- doll- ah 0idnae as1- but you 4ust be /lush? Cin ye sub ays a s.o(eH Cath(yn .onside(ed this? I ,hat ? ? ? yeah ??? I )ot 4oney ? ? ?
3/7

I :ound ? ? ? /u.1 ? ? ? Jui.e Te((y loo1ed a(ound and in a state o/ annoyan.e sa0 Johnny Cata((h and 7ab 6i((ell ente(in) the pub? He 0as 0onde(in) 0hat they 0e(e doin) in this 5ua(te( 0hen he noted the /luo(es.ent )(eenyByello0 Hibs a0ay top 7ab 0as 0ea(in)? The(e 0as a 4id0ee1 )a4e up at Easte( 7oad and Cata((h and 6i((ell 4ust ha+e .o4e into so4e dosh i/ they3d been to that and 0e(e no0 4a1in) a ni)ht o/ it do0n in the histo(i. old po(t? Te((y 0as al0ays suitably int(i)ued 0hen any o/ his asso.iates see4ed to be in the poppy? 7ab 6i((ell and Johnny Cata((h 0e(e e5ually su(p(ised to see Jui.e Te((y d(in1in) outside the 4o(e /a4ilia( en+i(ons o/ The Gauntlet- :il+e( ,in)- Dod)e(- 6usy 6ee- ,heatshea/ and othe( 0estBside booEe(s he /(e5uented? They 4o+ed to0a(ds Te((y3s table but then stalled notin) his /e4ale .o4pany? Cata((h /elt instantly (esent/ul? A /at .unt li1e Jui.e Te((y 0as al0ays su((ounded by 0o4en? :lappe(s- )(anted- but a (ide 0as a (ide and not to be sneeEed at? This one 0as ha))a(d and s1inny- but bette( tu(ned out than 4ost o/ Te((y3s usual .on5uests? =ind you- that Louise bi(d Te((y had been sha))in) 0as as tidy as /u.1- but she (ee1ed o/ )an)ste( .onne.tions? A /e0 dubious .unts had )i+en he( the 4essa)e- La((y ,ylie bein) one o/ the4? Dou ne+e( 4o+ed in on /anny that too1 in that so(t o/ .o.1 unless you 0e(e su(e it no lon)e( had .lai4s on a be(th the(e? It 0as a pisse( thou)h- a G(ee1 )od li1e hi4 .u((ently unable to )et his hole /o( lo+e no( 4oney? I A0(i)ht- John boy- Jui.e Te((y said as Cata((h sat do0n? Cata((h hated it 0hen Te((y (e/e((ed to hi4 in that 0ay as he 0as only a .ouple o/ yea(s youn)e( than the /at- slo+enly .unt? It 0as al4ost as bad as bein) .alled Johnny Cata((h? Johnny3s (eal na4e 0as John ,atson- a .o44on enou)h one in :.otland? His olde( b(othe( Da+ie 0as a blues and (o.1 3n3 (oll /an and sta(ted .allin) hi4 Johnny Guita( a/te( Johnny 3Guita(3 ,atson? An/o(tunately /o( Johnny- he 0as .u(sed 0ith bad sinus and .ata((h p(oble4s- and had spent 4any yea(s una0a(e that his

ni.1na4e had been .o((upted? 7ab 6i((ell had stopped o// at the /a) 4a.hine to pu(.hase so4e E4bassy 7e)al be/o(e 2oinin) the4? Te((y 4ade the int(odu.tions? Cata((h had hea(d o/ Cath(yn al(i)ht? I =uh =a3s you( nu4be(Bone /an? :he3s )oat tons ay you( (e.o(ds? :he laps you up? :he3s )aun tae the .on.e(t the 4o(n? Ah (ead aboot ye in the +(ening 2e%s. :ais ye hud split up 0i that boy /ae Lo+e :yndi.ate? I That3s .o((e.t- (eto(ted Cath(yn steelily- thin1in) o/ that Copenha)en hotel (oo4- I but that 0as a 0hile ba.1?
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I An.ient histo(y- but- eh- Jui.e Te((y .on/i(4ed? Cata((h su.1ed so4e 4u.us do0n the ba.1 o/ his th(oat? He 0ished that he3d (e4e4be(ed to )et his )a(li. pills? They 0e(e the only (e4edy? I Ah .ould settle /i( you( li/e (i)ht enou)h- 7ab 6i((ell .onside(ed- de.linin) as Jui.e Te((y .(ashed the ash? Johnny didn3t 0ant one eithe(? They 0e(e :il1 Gut and Cata((h 0as a pu(ist 0hen it .a4e to .i)a(ettes? I Ah34 a 7e)al ea)le- he s4iled- pullin) out an E4bie? I Aye- 7ab .ontinued add(essin) Cath(yn- I the (o.1 3n3 (oll li/estyle but- ah .ould )o /o( that? Tons ay bi(ds ? ? ? 4ind you- you dinnae hu+ tae 0o((y aboot that- no 0i you bein a bi(d- eh no- ah 4ean unless yi( li1ee4 ? ? ? 1en 0hat ah 4ean but eh ??? Jui.e Te((y had been 4ildly pissed o// about his /(iends3 int(usion into his and Cath(yn3s little s.ene- no0 6i((ell3s (a4blin) 0as sta(tin) to (eally i((itate hi4? I :o 0hat a(e ye /u.1in 0ell t(yin tae say- 7abH 7ab .li4bed do0n- (ealisin) that he 0as a bit d(un1 and p(etty stoned /(o4 all the 2oints he3d s4o1ed at Easte( 7oad- and that Jui.e Te((y .ould be a nippy .unt 0ho 0as 1no0n to be able to pun.h his .onside(able 0ei)ht? Ho0 the /u.1 did that /at teaBlea/ pill a bi(d li1e thatH Thi(tyBsi9 yea(s auld and still li+in at ha4e 0i ehs =a? I Jist 4a1in the point- Te((y- he said de/ensi+ely- I the point bein that )uys in bands .an ha+e thi( pi.1 ay bi(ds? I/ thi( /a4ous li1esay? 6ut any bi(d .an hu+ thi( pi.1 ay )uys ??? is that no (i)ht- JohnnyH He tu(ned to Cata((h in appeal? Cata((h 0as suitably /latte(ed? It 4eant that 7ab 0as a.1no0led)in) his ba.1)(ound o/ playin) in bands o( his e9pe(tise 0ith 0o4en- neithe( o/ 0hi.h he3d seen /it to (e/e( to be/o(e? He 0as /lu44o9ed by this 0el.o4e- i/ obs.u(e- /latte(y? I Eh- aye ? ? ? 2ist aboot? No an auld hound .ouldnae- but any youn) bi(d li1es? They .onside(ed this point /o( a 0hile and then loo1ed at Cath(yn in appeal? Thei( a..ents 0e(e al4ost i4penet(able to he(- but bein) d(un1 0as helpin)? I I34 so((y- I don3t 5uite unde(stand? Jui.e Te((y slo0ly e9plained the p(oposition to he(? I I )uess so- she (eplied 0a(ily? I No0t tae )uess- Cata((h lau)hed- I thet3s the 0ey it )oes? Al0ays hus been- al0ays 0ill be? Endy sto(y? Cath(yn sh(u))ed? Jui.e Te((y d(u44ed his e4pty )lass on the table? I :et 3e4 up then Cath- eh hen? The(e3s the ba(- he pointed a /e0 /eet a0ay? Cath(yn loo1ed uneasy at the th(on) o/ pa.1ed bodies bet0een he( and the ba(? The al.ohol 0as de/initely assistin) thou)h?
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The do.to( had told he( not to d(in1 on those antiBdep(essants but Cath(yn had to ad4it that she 0as en2oyin) he(sel/? Not the .o4pany espe.ially- thou)h it 0as .e(tainly di//e(ent to 0hat she 0as used to- but the la.1 o/ inhibition- the /eelin) o/ b(ea1in) out and lettin) )o? It 0as )ood to be a0ay /(o4 all the 4ana)e4entband- .(e0 and (e.o(dB.o4pany assholes /o( a 0hile? They 0ould be 0onde(in) about he(? Cath(yn s4iled to he(sel/ and p(essed to0a(ds the ba(? Jui.e Te((y loo1ed up and 0at.hed as she 2ostled to the ba(? I :he3s intae that 0i44in3s lib in a0 they son)s- so she 1in )o up n )it the Don 7e+ie in? Cata((h nodded in e4patheti. a)(ee4ent? 7ab 6i((ell studiously a+oided (ea.tin)- 0hi.h +e9ed Te((y a little? ,hile she 0aited as the pints o/ la)e( 0e(e bein) pou(ed- Cath(yn 0as app(ehended by a la()e 0o4an 0ith thi.1 a(4s- steelB0ool hai( and )lasses? I It3s you- ehG she as1ed? I E(- I34 Cath(yn ? ? ? I Ah 1ent it 0is youG ,hat ye daein he(eG I E(- I34 in 0ith so4e /(iends I e( Te((y o+e( the(e ? ? ? I Di( 2o1inG That /u.1in 0aste(- Jui.e Te((yG A /(iend ay you(sG The 0o4an 0obbled in.(edulously? I It3s a0 he 1in dae tae )it oot ay his bed on.e a /o(tni)ht tae si)n oan? Ho0 dae ye 1en hi4H I ,e 2ust )ot tal1in) ? ? ? Cath(yn said- he( o0n a4aEe4ent 4i((o(in) the 0o4an3s as she .onte4plated the 5uestion? I A0 aye- eh 1in dae that a0 (i)ht? That3s the one thin) eh 1in dae? Jist li1e ehs /aithe(- she spat 0ith (eal hostility? I Listen- hen- the 0o4an pulled out a ta9i .a(d- I 0ill ye si)n this /i( aysH I Deah ??? o/ .ou(se ? ? ? I De )oat a penH I No ???

The 0o4an tu(ned to the ba(4an? I :ey4ou(G Gies a /u.1in penG Gies itG He(eG He( (au.ous tones stun) the al(eady o+e(0o(1ed ba(4an into /u(the( a.ti+ity? Te((y hea(d the4- (e.o)nised the4 and loo1ed up in slo0 app(ehension? It 0as that bi) .o0 his auld 4an had been 0ith- a/te( he3d le/t Jui.e Te((y3s =a? 6i) Paula /ae 6onnin)ton 7oad? He( that used tae (un the pub? Cath(yn 0as tal1in tae he( n a0G This 0as /u.1in nonsense- Te((y thou)ht- ye .o4e doon tae Leith tae a+oid .unts ye 1en and ye /ind yi(sel su((ounded by the4? Cath(yn 0as happy to si)n and )et ba.1 to Te((y and the boys 0ith the d(in1s? Te((y had (esol+ed to as1 he( 0hat 6i) Paula 0as
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sayin) about hi4 but had )ot into an a()u4ent 0ith 7ab 6i((ell 0hi.h 0as be.o4in) in.(easin)ly hostile? I Any .unt that does that dese(+es tae /u.1in 0ell die? That3s 4a +ie0- Te((y snapped- .hallen)in) 7ab? I 6it that3s shite- Te((y- 7ab a()ued- I that3s 0hat ye .all an u(ban 4yth? The .asuals 0idnae dae that? I These .asual .unts a(e /u.1in ba4pots- Te((y stated? I 7aEo( blades in the /lu4esH ,hat3s a0 that abootH Dou tell 4e? I Ah3+e hea(d that sto(y- Cata((h a)(eed? In /a.t- this 0as the /i(st o..asion he3d hea(d this? Cata((h had (un 0ith the /itba .asual boys yea(s a)o but had e9t(i.ated hi4sel/ 0hen the ente(p(ise be.a4e a little (i.h /o( his blood? None the less- he still did e+e(ythin) in his po0e( to sto1e up thei( noto(iety and his .eleb(ity by asso.iation? This annoyed 7ab 6i((ell? He3d en2oyed bein) a .asual- althou)h those days 0e(e lon)B)one /o( hi4? It 0as /a( too hea+y no0 0ith all that su(+eillan.e shite these days- but he3d lo+ed it? G(eat punte(s- )(eat ti4es- )(eat lau)hs? ,hat the /u.1 0as Johnny playin) at spoutin) all that bollo.1sH 7ab 6i((ell hated the 0ay that people 0e(e so an9ious to belie+e o+e(BtheBtop bullshit? To his 4ind- it only 1ept othe(s in a state o/ /ea( and se(+ed as a so.ialB.ont(ol 4e.hanis4? He loathed but unde(stood the 4anne( in 0hi.h so4e o/ the poli.e and 4edia .eleb(ated that 1ind o/ nonsense- a/te( all it 0as in thei( inte(est? 6ut 0hat 0as Johnny doin) ba.1in) up that so(t o/ shiteH I 6it that3s a0 it is- 2ist a /u.1in sto(y ? ? ? 4ade up by so4e t0ats ??? ah 4ean- 0hat 0ould they 0ant tae dae that /i(H ,hat 0ould the soB.alled .asuals- e+en thou)h they dinnae e9ist any 4ai(- 0ant tae be pittin (aEo( blades in the /lu4es at the Co44ie Pool /i(H 7ab 6i((ell (easoned- loo1in) at Cath(yn in appeal? I Cause thi( ba4s- Jui.e Te((y said? I Loo1 Te((y- you ne+e( e+en use the Co44ie Pool? 7ab 6i((ell a)ain tu(ned to Cath(yn? I Eh .annae e+en s0i4 /o( /u.13s sa1eG I Dou .an3t s0i4G Cath(yn a..used- )i))lin) sli)htly at the thou)ht o/ Te((y3s lo+e handles spillin) o+e( a ti)ht pai( o/ s0i44in) t(un1s? I That3s no0t tae dae 0i anythin)? It3s the 4entality ay .unts thit pit (aEo( blades on the /lu4es ay a publi. s0i44in pool that 0ee bai(ns yaEe- 0hat dae ye say tae thatH he .(ossBe9a4ined? Cath(yn .onside(ed this? It 0as the 0o(1 o/ si.1os? :he thou)ht that 1ind o/ thin) only happened in A4e(i.a? I I )uess that3s p(etty )(oss?
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I Nae /u.1in )uessin) aboot it- Te((y sto(4ed- s0it.hin) ba.1 to 7ab 6i((ell- I it3s oot ay o(de(? 7ab shoo1 his head? I Ah a)(ee 0i ye? Ah34 a)(eein that tae dae that is oot ay o(de(- bit that3s no the .asuals- Te((y? No 0ay? Does that sound li1e the4 tae youH A0 aye- 0e3+e /o(4ed a 4ob tae )o s0ed)in at the /itba- so lit3s a0 )o doon the Co44ie Pool and pit (aEo( blades in the /lu4es? That3s bullshit? Ah 1en a lot ay they boys@ it 2ist isnae thai( /u.1in style? 6esides- thi( isnae e+en any .asuals these days? Di( li+in in the past? I 6a4s- said Jui.e Te((y st(oppily? ,hile he had to ad4it that 0hat 7ab 6i((ell said 0as lo)i.al and p(obably .o((e.t- he hated to be bested in an a()u4ent and )(e0 e+en 4o(e belli)e(ent? E+en i/ it 0asn3t the .asuals 0ho did that- 6i((ell should be bi) enou)h to .on.ede the 4o(e )ene(al point that they 0e(e ba4s? 6ut na0- no s4a(t poo/y .olle)eB.unt 6i((ell? It p(o+ed anothe( point to Te((yF ne+e( )ie a s.he4ie an edu.ation? The(e 0as 6i((ell on so4e po9y .ou(se at :te+enson /o( ten 4inutes and he thin1s eh3s /u.1in Cho4s1y? I Ah3d hea(d that happened at the /lu4es? Hea(d that the blood /lo0ed (id /ae one ay the .hutes intae the pool- Cata((h stated 0ith inse.t .oldness- his eyes na((o0in) and his lips ti)htenin)? He sa+ou(ed the shi+e( and dis)usted pout he thou)ht he sa0 /(o4 Cath(yn? I Flo0ed (id- he (epeated unde( his b(eath? I 6ullshit- said 7ab 6i((ell? Cata((h thou)h- 0as 0a(4in) to his the4e? I Ah 1en they boys as 0ell as you 7ab- you should 1en that- he said in an o4inous tone- hopin) that Cath(yn 0ould pi.1 up the eni)4a and sense o/ dan)e( in it- be suitably i4p(essed- blo0 out Jui.e Te((y and ta1e Cata((h ho4e 0ith he( to A4e(i.a? They3d )o th(ou)h a .e(e4ony- i/ only /o( )(eenB.a(d pu(poses- and (esident alien status 0ould be his? Then he3d be installed in a studio 0ith a top ba.1in) band and (etu(n to 6(itain 0ith a t(iu4phant st(in) o/ Claptones5ue )uita(Bled hits behind hi4? It .ould happen- he thou)ht? Loo1 at that :hi(ley =anson lassie oot ay Ga(ba)e- he( that used tae be in that Goodbye =( =.CenEie? One 4inute standin) behind 6i) John Dun.an and a set ay 1eyboa(ds on sta)e at The

8enue- the ne9t settin) A4e(i.a ali)ht? He .ould do the sa4e? Then they3d .all hi4 Johnny Guita(- his (eal na4e- instead o/ the hideous de)(adation he3d been saddled 0ith? Jui.e Te((y had the 4un.hies bi)ti4e? He 0as thin1in) that he .ould )o a .u((y? Te((y 0as /ed up 0ith the 0ay the .on+e(sation 0as
3)(

headin)F st(ai)ht into Cata((h3s .asual tales? He 0ould )o on /o( e+e( i/ you let hi4? E+e(yone else had hea(d the4 se+e(al ti4es be/o(e- but that ne+e( stopped Johnny? Espe.ially no0 that he had a ne0 ea( to bend in Cath(yn? Te((y /an.ied that he .ould see 0ay do0n the line to Cata((h on his deathbed? The(e he 0ould be lyin)- a ninetyByea(Bold 0iEened Cata((h 0ith tubes han)in) out o/ hi4? A dithe(in)- sedated auld 0i/e and .on.e(ned .hild(en and )(and.hild(en 0ould ha+e thei( ea(s .lose to hi4 to hea( his b(eathless- .(oa1in) last 0o(ds and they 0ould beF ??? I and then thi( 0is that ti4e 0e 0e(e at =othe(0ell? ? ? nineteen ei)htyBei)htei)htyBnine season- ah thin1 ? ? ? 0e hud a 4ob ay aboot th(ee hund(ed ? ? ? aaa))hhhh ? ? ? Then the line on the ECG 0ould )o /lat and Cata((h 0ould head o// to that )(eat s0ed)e in the s1y? No- Te((y 0asn3t ha+in) any o/ that shite this e+enin)? That .unt /o()ot that it 0as people li1e hi4- Jui.e Te((y- 0ho put in thei( shi/t on the te((a.in) be/o(e the(e 0as a bi)- ha(d- /ashionable tea4 as ba.1Bup? The old s.a(/e( .(e0 ba.1 in those days 0e(e- ad4ittedly- a p(etty .(ap 4ob? They tended to (o4anti.ise the odd )lo(ious +i.to(y- but )loss o+e( o( i)no(e the nu4e(ous ti4es that they 0e(e (an@ Nai(n County ;p(eBseason /(iendly<- Fo(/a(- =ont(ose? Also- they had 4o(e +indi.ti+e battles 0ith ea.h othe( than 0ith anybody else? A shite 4ob (eally? He had to ad4it that the .asuals 0ho /ollo0ed the4 0e(e a .lass apa(t- but no 6i((ell o( Cata((h? They 0e(e ne+e( anythin) li1e top boys? Te((y .han)ed the sub2e.t 5ui.1ly? I 6et you3+e )oat tons ay dosh but eh- a0 they hit (e.o(ds- he +entu(ed at Cath(yn- (etu(nin) to one o/ his o0n /a4ilia( the4es? Fu.1 Cata((h- he 0as the one settin) the a)enda he(e? Cath(yn s4iled beni)nly? I I34 lu.1y I )uess? I )et 0ell paid /o( 0hat I do? I had a (unBin 0ith the I 7: a 0hile a)o- but 4y ba.1 .atalo)ue3s doin) o1ay? I )ot a bit put by? I Ah3ll /u.1in bet ye hu+G Te((y san)- pullin) in Cata((h and 6i((ell? I John 6oyG 7abG Hea( thisG ,hat3s a0 that abootH Dou tell 4eG He nodded at Cath(yn? He( eyes too1 on a /a(a0ay loo1? I :o4eti4es 4oney isn3t e+e(ythin) ? ? ? she said so/tly- but nobody 0as listenin)? I ,ell peyed /i( 0hit she doesG Gold (e.o(dsG Nu4be(Bone hitsG Ah3ll bet yi( /u.1in 0ell peyedG 7i)ht thenTe((y (ubbed his hands to)ethe(- I it3s settled? The 7uby =u((ay3s oan youG I ,hat ? ? ? 7uby ? ? ?
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I The .u((y- Te((y s4iled- I bit ay )(ub- he added- 4a1in) eatin) )estu(es? I Could handle a /u.1in noseba) but eh- 7ab 6i((ell ad4itted? Cata((h sh(u))ed? He didn3t li1e to 0aste d(in1in)Bti4e eatin) but you .ould )et la)e( 0ith a .u((y? He 0ould ha+e so4e popado4s- they /itted the bill? Johnny instin.ti+ely dist(usted any 1ind o/ /oodstu// 0hi.h didn3t (ese4ble .(isps? I I don3t 0anna eat anythin) ? ? ? Cath(yn said in ho((o(? :he had .o4e out to )et a0ay /(o4 F(an1lin and his obsession 0ith he( eatin)? He( d(in1Baddled 4ind seiEed the /ull i4pli.ations o/ this? Pe(haps they had been hi(ed by that .ont(ol /(ea1- to )et he( to eat? It 4ay be all an elabo(ate (use- the 0hole da4n thin)? I 7i)ht- ah34 no sayin that you hu+ tae eat- that3s you( business- bit ye 1in 0at.h us? C34oan Cath- you3+e )oat the poppy? Ah34 s1int till 4a )i(o oan Tuesday and thi(3s nae .han.e ay a sub /ae that Je0ish .unt Post Ale. until ah3+e done the /ill 0ee1 at the 0indaes? I I 0anna buy dinne( /o( you )uys? I .an do that- but I don3t 0anna eat anythin) ? ? ? I 6a((y- Te((y enthused- I ah li1e a bi(d that pits he( hand in he( pu(se? Ah34 no one ay they auldB /ashioned .unts- ah belie+e in e5uality /i( /anny? ,hat 0is it that .o44ie .unt saidH Te((y as1ed- tu(nin) to 7ab- I Dou should 1en this bein a student- 6i((ell? Fae ea.h a..o(din tae thi( abilities tae ea.h a..o(din) tae thi( needs? That 4eans thit you3(e in the .hai(? This is :.otland- 0e sha(e n sha(e ali1e he(e- Te((y said- then .onside(ed the it.h in his piles and the da4a)e a +indaloo .ould do the ne9t 4o(nin)? Fu.1 it thou)h- you so4eti4es 2ust had to )o /o( it? I O1ay- Cath(yn s4iled? I :ee you- Cata((h slu((ed- I you3(e sound- 1en that- he said- tou.hin) Cath(yn3s /o(ea(4 )ently? I Thi(3s tons ay 4anto a(oond he(e thit ne+e( thin1 aboot pittin thi( hand in thi( pu(se? I :o4e ay thu4 oan /u.1in )ood 0a)es n a0 ? ? ? he( thit 0o(1s /i( the :.ottish O//i.e ? ? ? Te((y shoo1 his head bitte(ly- (e.allin) a ni)ht out he3d had a 0hile ba.1 0ith a lassie he3d 4et in the Ha(p? The .o0 )uEEled he( 0ey th(ou)h hal/ his /u.1in )i(o in 6a.a(di and +anished 0ithoot )iein) hi4 as 4u.h as a pe.1 on the .hee1? ,hile he 0as annoyed at Johnny3s ostentatious display o/ tende(ness to0a(ds Cath(yn- he 0as /o(.ed to ad4it that he had a point?

I ,hat is this 4antoH Cath(yn as1ed? I Eh /anny ??? eh bi(ds ? ? ? .hi.1s- 1enH Te((y e9plained?
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I =y )od? Don3t you )uys ha+e any pe(sonal politi.sH Jui.e Te((y and Johnny Cata((h loo1ed at ea.h othe( /o( a .ouple o/ se.onds and shoo1 thei( heads slo0ly in unison? I Nup- they a)(eed?

+ished: %ru99ed: Laid
Cha(lene stood be/o(e Lisa- 0ho 0as )(indin) he( teeth in e9aspe(ation? 6e/o(e he( /(iend .ould spea1- Lisa said- I A0 it3s you? 7i)ht? ,i( )aun oot? ,i( )ittin pished- d(u))ed and laid? I Can I .o4e in /o( a bit /i(st- Cha(lene as1ed 4ee1ly- he( da(1- haunted eyes sta(in) (i)ht into Lisa3s essen.e? Lisa loo1ed at the ba)s at he( /(iend3s /eet- and 7i.ha(d- the +ideo and +ib(ato( 0e(e e(ased /(o4 he( 4ind li1e they ne+e( happened? I Aye ? ? ? .o4e in- Lisa u()ed 5ui.1ly- stoppin) to pi.1 up one o/ Cha(lene3s ba)s? They 0ent th(ou)h to he( loun)e and d(opped the4 on the /loo(? I :it doon- Lisa ushe(ed- I 0hat3s upH ,is thi( naebody inH Cha(lene3s eyes loo1ed st(an)e and 0ild to Lisa- and the youn)e( 0o4an .a.1led li1e a 0it.h- a /li.1e(in) spas4 t0it.hin) the side o/ he( /a.e? I A0 aye- so4ebody 0is in a0(i)ht? :o4ebody 0as /u.1in 0ell in? Lisa /elt the 4us.les in he( o0n /a.e sti//en? Cha(lene seldo4 s0o(e- she 0as a pu(itani.al 0ee bi(d in lots o/ 0ays- she .onside(ed? I :o 0hat 0is ? ? ? I Please- 2ust let 4e tal1- Cha(lene said? I :o4ethin) happened Lisa 5ui.1ly stu.1 on the 1ettle and 4ade so4e tea? :he sat in the .hai( opposite the .ou.h on 0hi.h Cha(lene had .(u4bled- and listened as he( 4ate pou(ed out to he( 0hat she had been )(eeted 0ith on he( (etu(n /(o4 IbiEa? As she tal1ed- Lisa sa0 the (e/le.tin) li)ht hittin) the sil1 0alls 0hi.h /(a4ed Cha(lene- so s4all on the .ou.h opposite he(? Don3t tell 4e this- hen- don3t tell 4e this ? ? ? And Cha(lene 1ept tal1in)? In the 0alls she .ould see the (e+e(b o/ the da(1ened old patte(n unde(neath- .lashin) 0ith the ne0 stu//? It 0as the 0allpape(- the old ho((ible 0allpape(- it see4ed to 1eep .o4in) th(ou)h the paints? Th(ee
3))

.oats- 0ith )ood sil1 +inyl paint as 0ell? Dou .ould still see the .(ap .o4in) th(ou)h but- still 4a1e out that nasty old patte(n? Please stop ? ? ? Then- 2ust 0hen she thou)ht he( 4ate had /inished- Cha(lene ab(uptly (e.o44en.ed- s0it.hin) into this .old 4onolo)ue? Fo( all the te((o( and nausea it indu.ed in he(- Lisa .ouldn3t b(in) he(sel/ to inte((upt? I His stu4py ni.otine stained /in)e(s 0ith the di(t unde( the nails pushin) and thu4pin) at 4y al4ost hai(less +a)ina? The 0his1y b(eath and a..o4panyin) )asp in 4y ea(? =e- (i)id and /ea(/ul- t(yin) to 1eep 5uiet- in .ase she 0o1e up? That 0as the 2o1e? :he3d dae anythin) no tae 0a1e up? =e- t(yin) to 1eep 5uiet? =e? The si.1- di(ty diseased .(eep? I/ he 0as so4ebody else- o( I 0as so4ebody else- I 4i)ht e+en /eel so((y /o( hi4? I/ it had been anothe( /anny his /in)e( 0as inside? :he should ha+e st(ipped the 0alls? Got (id o/ all that old shite? No 4atte( ho0 4any .oats you put o+e( it- it al0ays .a4e th(ou)h? Lisa 0ent to spea1- but Cha(lene (aised he( hand? Lisa /elt /(oEen sti//? It 0as so ha(d /o( he( to listen- she .ould only i4a)ine ho0 di//i.ult it 4ust ha+e been /o( he( pal to sta(t spea1in)- but no0 the poo( lassie .ouldn3t stop i/ she 0anted to? I I should be a /(i)id +i()in- o( a ny4pho@ I should be- 0hat is it they .all itse9ually dys/un.tional? No 0ay? =y ulti4ate (e+en)e on hi4- 4a 4etapho(i.al t0o /in)e(s to his lite(al one- is that I34 no ??? Cha(lene sta(ed o// into spa.e? ,hen she .ontinued- he( +oi.e (ose an o.ta+e- it 0as li1e she 0as tal1in) to hi4? I and I34 )lad o/ 4y hat(ed and .onte4pt /o( you .ause I 1no0 ho0 to (e.ei+e and )i+e lo+e you sad p(i.1- be.ause I 0as ne+e( the one 0ho 0as st(an)e o( 0ei(d o( (ep(essed and I ne+e( /u.1in) 0ell 0ill be ? ? ? :he tu(ned to Lisa and 2olted 0he(e she sat- as i/ s0it.hin) ba.1 into the spa.e she 0as o..upyin)? I :o((y Lees- than1s? Lisa 0as a.(oss onto the =FI .ou.h and hu))in) he( /(iend /o( all she 0as 0o(th? Cha(lene b(ie/ly too1 the .o4/o(tin)- then pulled a0ay a little- loo1in) at he( 0ith a .al4 s4ile? I No0 0hat 0as a0 this /i)htin) tal1 aboot )ittin pished- d(u))ed and laidH Lisa 0as ta1en aba.1? I ,e .annae ??? ah 4ean ? ? ? she stutte(ed in disbelie/- I ??? 0hat ah34 t(yin tae say is that- eh- it 4i)ht no be the best ti4e /o( you ??? I 4ean- 0e3+e done a0 that /o( t0o 0ee1s an it didnae 4a1e hi4 )o a0ay? I Ah only 0ent a0ay .ause ah thou)ht that he 0is )one /o( )ood? ,hy did she let hi4 ba.1 in the hooseH

It3s 4a /ault- 4a /ault /o( )aun a0ay? Ah shouldnae hu+ 0ent a0ay- Cha(lene shi+e(ed- he( )oldB
3)#

(in)ed /in)e(s 0(apped (ound a 4u) o/ tea? I ,i( )aun oot thou)h- Lisa? One othe( thin)- .an ah .(ash he(e /o( a bitH Lisa .(ushed Cha(lene /u(the(- I De 1en ye .an stey he(e /o( as lon) as ye li1e? Cha(lene /o(.ed a s4ile? I Than1s ??? did ah e+e( tell ye aboot 4a (abbitH :he t(e4bled as she held the .up in both hands thou)h it 0as 0a(4 in the /lat? I Na0- Lisa said- b(a.in) he(sel/- loo1in) at the 0alls a)ain? They de/initely needed 4o(e paint?

A Wel'o6e Alternative to $ilth and @iolen'e
The Festi+al Club is hell /o( F(an1lin- but the o()anise(s o/ the e+ent insisted that he and Cath(yn .o4e alon)? A b(i)htly d(essed 4an in a blue .o(du(oy 2a.1et and yello0 .hinos bounded up to F(an1lin and li4ply shoo1 his hand? I =( Delaney- An)us :i4pson /(o4 the Festi+al .o44ittee? E9.ellent to see you- he said- in an En)lish publi.Bs.hool +oi.e? I This is Coun.illo( =o(a) 6annonB:te0a(t- 0ho (ep(esents the City Coun.il on the .o44ittee? Eh ??? 0he(e3s =iss Joyne(H F(an1lin Delaney let his /a.e t0ist in a sa..ha(ine s4ile? I :he had a sli)ht .ou)h and a ti.1le in he( th(oat- so 0e de.ided that it 0as bette( she stayed in and had an ea(ly ni)ht? I Oh ??? a pity- the(e3s so4e people /(o4 the p(ess and lo.al (adio he(e? Appa(ently- Colin =el+ille /(o4 the +(ening 2e%s 2ust had a phone .all on his 4obile- sayin) that she3d been seen out in Leith toni)ht ? ? ? Leith? ,he(e in /u.13s na4e 0as that- F(an1lin it.hed to as1? Instead- he said .oolly- I I thin1 she did pop out ea(lie(- but she3s sa/ely tu.1ed up in bed no0? =o(a) 6annonB:te0a(t too1 a step /o(0a(d into Delaney3s pe(sonal spa.e and 0hispe(ed- 0his1yB b(eathed- I I do hope she3s al(i)ht? It3s so )ood ha+in) a popula( a(tist that all the /a4ily .an en2oy? This used to be su.h a 0onde(/ul Festi+al? No0 it3s a .eleb(ation o/ /ilth and +iolen.e ??? He studied the b(o1en blood +essels in he( papie(B4T.he /a.e as she (anted on? Tensin) up- F(an1lin th(e0 ba.1 his double s.ot.h- then si)nalled
3)7

/o( anothe(? That /u.1Bup Cath(yn? No0 he had this se4iBd(un1 old bat /(o4 the .oun.il hittin) on hi4? 6ut the (adio )uy said she 0as seen in Leith? That .ouldn3t be 4o(e than a ta9i (ide a0ay? As soon as he .ould- F(an1lin e9.used hi4sel/ by 4a1in) out he 0as )oin) to the toilet? Instead- he snea1ed out the doo( into the ni)ht ai(?

-i66e Medi'ation
In the .u((y house so4ethin) st(an)e 0as happenin) to Cath(yn Joyne(? The A4e(i.an sin)e( 0as /eelin) a (eal- deep- +iolent hun)e(? The la)e( and one o/ 7ab 6i((ell3s 2oints they3d s4o1ed )oin) (ound the .o(ne( had b(ou)ht on the 4un.hies and the .u((y s4ells 0e(e into9i.atin)? T(y as she 4i)ht Cath(yn .ould not stop a ti)ht ball o/ hun)e( sti.1 /ast in he( th(oat- al4ost .ho1in) he(? The .(isp- in+itin) bha2isthe a(o4ati. and spi.y sau.e 0hi.h .o+e(ed tende( .hun1s o/ the 4a(inated bee/- .hi.1en and la4b dishes- the .olou(/ul +e)etables siEElin) in thei( pans- they 4ade he( taste buds th(ob /(o4 t0o tables a0ay? Cath(yn .ouldn3t help he(sel/? :he o(de(ed up 0ith the (est o/ the4 and 0hen the /ood .a4e- she atta.1ed the dishes 0ith a /e(o.ity 0hi.h 4i)ht ha+e (aised 4o(e than an eyeb(o0 in /ussie( .o4pany but 0hi.h see4ed pe(/e.tly natu(al to 7ab- Te((y and Johnny? Cath(yn 0anted the +oid inside o/ he( /illedF not 0ith 4edi.ation- but 0ith .u((y- la)e( and naan b(ead? Te((y and 7ab had (esta(ted the old a()u4ent? I A(ban 4yth- 7ab de.la(ed? I :ee i/ ah 0is tae pun.h you in the 4ooth- 0id that be an u(ban 4ythH I Nup ? ? ? 7ab (eplied 0a(ily? I ,ell /u.1in shut it aboot u(ban /u.1in 4yths? Te((y sta(ed at 7ab- 0ho a+e(ted his )aEe to his /o(1? 7ab 0as an)(y? Ob+iously at Te((y- but also at hi4sel/? He3d pi.1ed up a load o/ 2a()on /(o4 the =edia and Co44uni.ation :tudies Cou(se he had en(olled on at the lo.al FE .olle)e and he 0as tendin) to use it 4o(e and 4o(e in e+e(yday .on+e(sation? He 1ne0 that it i((itated and alienated his 4ates? It 0as 2ust sho0boatin)- as he .ould e9p(ess the sa4e .on.epts ade5uately enou)h in 0o(ds that 0e(e .o44on .u((en.y? Then he thou)ht- /u.1 it- a4 ah no allo0ed tae

3)*

ha+e ne0 0o(dsH It see4ed su.h a sel/Bde/eatin) .ultu(al .onst(aint? 6ut this 0as (eally i((ele+ant as he 0as 4ainly an)(y be.ause he 0as 6illy 36usiness3 6i((ell3s b(othe(? 6ein) 36usiness3 6i((ell3s b(othe( .a((ied .e(tain bu(dens o/ e9pe.tation- one o/ the4 bein) that you didn3t ba.1 do0n to .unts li1e Jui.e Te((y? 36usiness3 0as a hea+y pun.he( and 0on his /i(st si9 p(o/essional /i)hts inside the /i(st /e0 (ounds on 1no.1outs o( stoppa)es? His se+enth .ontest- thou)h- 0as a disaste(? Hi)hly /an.ied- he 0as outbo9ed and outpointed by Po(t Talbot3s :te+e =o()an- a s1il/ul southpa0? Du(in) the /i)ht the no(4ally e9plosi+e 36usiness3 loo1ed listless and slu))ish- (a(ely th(o0in) a pun.h on ta()et and a sittin) du.1 /o( =o()an3s sea(in) 2ab? The .onsensus 0as that had =o()an .a((ied a pun.h- 36usiness3 0ould ha+e been in (eal t(ouble? The o//i.ials and (in)side do.to( pi.1ed up that so4ethin) 0as 0(on)? A postB/i)ht 4edi.al and subse5uent tests (e+ealed that 6illy 36usiness3 6i((ell su//e(ed /(o4 thy(oid p(oble4s 0hi.h ad+e(sely a//e.ted his le+els o/ ene()y? ,hile 4edi.ation .ould .ont(ol this- the 6(itish 6oa(d o/ 6o9in) Cont(ol 0e(e /o(.ed to (e+o1e his li.en.e? Ho0e+e(- 36usiness3 0as (espe.ted and 1no0n to be a 4an not to 4ess 0ith? The /a.t that he3d been beaten by his 4edi.al .ondition- (athe( than by his opponent- and that he had (e/used to )o do0n o( .apitulate in any 0ay /u(the( enhan.ed his he(oi. status lo.ally? 7athe( than .u(se the .(uel lu.1 0hi.h snat.hed possible )(eatness /(o4 hi4- 6illy 6i((ell had .ashed in on his lo.al /a4e and opened a popula( and p(o/itable p(eB.lub ba( .alled- ine+itably- The 6usiness 6a(? The p(oble4 7ab 6i((ell had 0as that- as a thou)ht/ul and spe.ulati+e 4an- he la.1ed the e9plosi+e dyna4is4 to 4at.h his b(othe(3s /i)htin) p(o0ess o( ent(ep(eneu(ial Eest? 7ab /elt that he 0as al0ays )oin) to play se.ond /iddle to 36usiness3 and 0as .au)ht bet0een t(yin) to establish hi4sel/ in his o0n (i)ht and allo0in) hi4sel/ to be .a((ied alon) on his b(othe(3s slipst(ea4? He /elt- 0hethe( it 0as (eal o( i4a)ined- that he 0as loo1ed do0n on by the type o/ people 0ho idolised his b(othe(? ,hile 7ab 0as ponde(in) this- Jui.e Te((y 0as t(yin) not to belie+e his ea(s? He had positioned hi4sel/ on the sa4e side o/ the table as Cath(yn and 0as sho.1ed 0hen she pulled hi4 to he( and 0hispe(ed in his ea(- I Listen Te((y- one thin) I 0ant you to 1no0- the(e ain3t )onna be any se9 bet0een us? Dou3(e a neat )uy and I li1e you as a /(iend- but 0e ain3t )onna s.(e0? O1ayH I Dou3(e intae Cata((h ??? o( 6i((ell ? ? ? Te((y /elt his 0o(ld
3)9

/allin) apa(t? His se9ual options 0e(e shuttin) do0n /aste( than the hospitals- 0hile 7ab3s and Johnny3s- by .ont(ast- 0e(e openin) li1e p(isons? He3d been bo4bed oot 0ith that Louise as 0ell? A tidy 0ee lassie- but a bit youn) /o( hi4 and 4o(e i4po(tantly- 1no.1in) about 0ith La((y ,ylie- 0ho 0as ba.1 outside? :o that 0as that? Louise- thou)h- she ne+e( had any (e.o(ds on the 2u1ey in the :il+e( ,in) o( the Dod)e(? Cath(yn 0as (epelled and at the sa4e ti4e att(a.ted by 0hat she sa0 as the 4onst(ous e)o o/ Te((y and his /(iends? The(e they 0e(e- th(ee se4iBbu4s /(o4 a shitty pa(t o/ a .ity she had ba(ely hea(d o/ and they a.ted li1e they 0e(e at the .ent(e o/ the uni+e(se? :he3d ne+e( 1no0n any o/ the (o.1 3n3 (oll )(eats to ha+e e)os that siEe? The thou)ht o/ he(- Cath(yn Joyne(- 0ho3d been all o+e( the 0o(ld- 0ho3d )(a.ed the .o+e(s o/ style and /ashion 4a)aEines- )oin) 0ith one o/ those unde(Ba.hie+in) slobs 0as (idi.ulous? Absolutely (idi.ulous? Cath(yn .lea(ed he( th(oat? :he )(ipped Te((y3s a(4 li)htly- as 4u.h to o(ientate he(sel/ as to .o4/o(t hi4? And she3d li1ed it 0hen Johnny Cata((h did it to he(? I No- I ain3t into any o/ the4? ,e3(e /(iends- you- 4e and the boys? That3s all it is- that3s all it .an e+e( beshe s4iled and loo1ed a(ound? I I )otta /ind the (est(oo4- she announ.ed- pullin) he(sel/ up and 4o+in) 0ith a sli)ht sta))e( in the di(e.tion o/ the toilet? I Ho0 is it they septi.s .all the la++y the (est(oo4H De dinnae )o thai( /i( a (est- 7ab 6i((ell lau)hed? I De 2ist )o thai( tae pish n dae d(u)s- Johnny .onside(ed? Te((y 0aited in silen.e until she disappea(ed behind the toilet3s s0in) doo(s and then tu(ned to 7ab? I Fu.1in s1inny stu.1Bup (i.h A4e(i.an .unt ? ? ? 7ab 6i((ell s4iled b(oadly in bet0een his 4outh/uls o/ .hi.1en 2al/(eEi? I Dou3+e .han)ed yi( /u.1in tune? ,hat happened tae Cath(yn this n Cath(yn thatH I Pah- /u.1in septi. .unt- Te((y 4utte(ed blea1ly? Fe0 people too1 (e2e.tion 0ell- but Te((y 0as 0o(se than 4ost? 6i((ell3s eyes lit up in (ealisation? I :he /u.1in C63d ye? De thoat ye 0i( oan yi( hole n she C63d yeG I Fu.1in s4a(t .o0 thin1s thit she 1in 2ist s0an a(oond 0i the li1es ay us 0hin it suits he( ? ? ? I Dinnae sta(t hatin he( 2ist .ause she3s no )aunny )ie ye yi( hole? I/ ye hated e+e(y /u.1e( that didnae 0ant tae sha) ye it3d be a /u.1in
3#0

lon) listG 7ab too1 an en2oyable )ulp o/ Cin)/ishe(- d(ainin) his )lass- and si)nalled /o( anothe( (ound as

Cata((h nodded in )(i4 enthusias4? I It3s .ause ah34 a pleb tae the li1es ay he(- that3s 0hat it is- Te((y said- buoyed up sli)htly at the p(ospe.t o/ 4o(e bee( paid /o( by Cath(yn? I Te((y- that3s no0t tae dae 0i it- 7ab dis4issed- I the lassie 2ist disnae /an.y ye? I Na0- na0- na0- Jui.e Te((y said 0ea(ily? I Dinnae le.tu(e ays oan bi(ds- 6i((ell- ah /u.1in unde(stand bi(ds? Nae .unt 1in tell 4e aboot /anny? Nae .unt (oond this /u.1in table any0ey- he said .hallen)in)lyd(u44in) the table /o( e//e.t? I A4e(i.an bi(ds u( di//e(ent- Cata((h +entu(ed- instantly (e)(ettin) it? Jui.e Te((y3s s4ile 0idened li1e the 7i+e( Al4ond hittin) the Fo(th Estua(y? I 7i)ht then- John 6oy- you3(e the bi) /u.1in e9pe(t oan A4e(i.an /anny? A0 they A4e(i.an bi(ds you3+e sha))ed- .o4pa(ed tae a0 they :.ottish yins? :o you tell ays the di//e(en.e thenG Te((y let out a (au.ous- b(eathless lau)h and 7ab 6i((ell .ould /eel his sides sha1in)? Cata((h shi/ted sli)htly in his seat- his e9p(ession and tone ta1in) on a sheepish- de/ensi+e bent? I Ah34 no sayin thit ah3+e sha))ed tons ay A4e(i.an bi(ds? Ah34 2ist sayin thit A4e(i.an bi(ds a(e di//e(ent ? ? ? li1e oan the telly n that? I :hite- Te((y snapped? I Fanny3s /anny? :a4e the 0o(ld o0e(? I Listen- said 7ab- .han)in) the sub2e.t to spa(e Johnny3s blushes- I ye thin1 that she3s sti.1in he( /in)e(s doon he( th(oat n pu1in up a0 that .u((y in the bo)sH I :he3d bette( /u.1in no be? A /u.1in 0aste- Te((y stated? I Fu.1in bai(ns sta(+in- oan the telly n that- n so4e .unt daein thatG I That3s 0hat they dae thou)h- bi(ds li1e that- buli4ia o( 0hate+e( ye .all it- Cata((h .onside(ed? Cath(yn (etu(ned /(o4 the toilet? At one sta)e she thou)ht that she 0as )oin) to be si.1- but it passed? No(4ally- she did )o to +o4it up that to9i. /ood be/o(e it .on+e(ted into /at .ells- .o((uptin) and 0a(pin) he( body? No0 it /elt .o4/o(tin)- that hea+y- 0a(4- /luid .ent(e- 0hi.h had on.e spelt disease? I :ee that .lub3s oan the ni)ht- at the :hootin) Galle(y- /i( the Festi+al- 1enH 7ab 6i((ell o//e(ed? I 6a((y? Fan.y a bit ay .lubbin e/ti(- CathH T(ip the li)ht /antasti.H Jui.e Te((y +entu(ed?
3#1

J I34 nat (eally d(essed /o( it??? but I don3t 0anna )o ba.1 to the hotel ??? but ? ? ? 0ell- o1ay- she said? It see4ed i4po(tant to stay outto 1eep )oin)? J Need tae )et so4e d(u)s but? :peed n so4e e.1ies- eh- 7ab said? Then he tu(ned to Cata((h? I De )aunny phone Da+ieH Te((y shoo1 his head? I Fu.1 speed- )it so4e .ha(lie /i( late( oan? Is that .ool- CathH I Deah- 0hy not- Cath(yn a.5uies.ed? :he didn3t 1no0 0he(e this ad+entu(e 0as headin)- but she had de.ided no0 that she 0as alon) on the t(ip all the 0ay? 7ab sa0 Te((y3s /a.e disto(t 0ith a t0ist o/ s4u)ness? I Cath3s in the (o.1 3n3 (oll business- 7ab? :he3s no 0antin any ay yi( s.he4ie speed? Nothin bit the best no0? I Ah li1e speed- 7ab p(otested? I A0(i)ht 6i((ell- play the /u.1in 0o(1inB.lass he(o a0 ye 0ant? Di3ll )it nae 4edals /ae us thou)h- 4ate(i)ht John 6oyG He tu(ned to Cata((h? I A bit ay .ha(lie 0ould be sound- Cata((h said- I /i( a .han)e li1es- 7ab- he appealed to 7ab in o(de( to 4iti)ate his bet(ayal? Cata((h 0as no(4ally a bi) speed /(ea1 and sno(tin) .o1e played ha+o. 0ith his al(eady dod)y sinuses?

The Rabbit
Lisa had (e4e4be(ed An)ie tal1in) about =ad =a9- Cha(lene3s (abbit? The one she had as a 1id? :he 4inded he( on.e sayin) so4ethin) on a .o4eBdo0n a/te( a ni)ht3s .lubbin) and pillBpoppin)? :o4ethin) 0ei(d- 0he(e you .an3t 5uite (e4e4be( the detail- but you (e.all the u)ly- t(oublin) sensation? :o4ethin) that .an be easily pa(.elled o// and /iled unde( 3d(u))y shite3? :o4ethin) happened to he( (abbit? :o4ethin) bad- .ause Cha(lene had been o// s.hool /o( a bit? That 0as as /a( as it 0ent in Lisa3s 4e4o(y? Then Cha(lene sta(ted to tal1 a)ain? About the (abbit? Cha(lene told Lisa that she lo+ed the (abbit- and ho0 the /i(st thin) she did e+e(y 4o(nin) 0as )o do0n to the hut.h and .he.1 on hi4? :o4eti4es- 0hen the d(un1en shouts o/ he( /athe( o( the sound o/ he(
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4othe(3s s.(ea4s )ot too 4u.h- she3d sit at the botto4 o/ the )a(den- holdin) and st(o1in) =ad =a9 and 0illin) it to stop? One day 0hen she .a4e ho4e /(o4 s.hool- she sa0 the hut.h doo( open? The (abbit had )ot out? :o4ethin)

.au)ht the .o(ne( o/ he( eye and she slo0ly loo1ed up at the t(ee? =ad =a9 0as nailed to it? Hu)e- si9Bin.h nails- s4ashed (i)ht th(ou)h his body? Gha(lene t(ied to pull hi4 o// the nails- to .uddle hi4- e+en thou)h she 1ne0 that he 0as dead? :he .ouldn3t pull hi4 o//? :he 0ent inside the house? Late( that ni)ht- he( /athe( .a4e in d(un1? He 0as shoutin) and sobbin)- I The bai(n3s (abbit? ? ? they )yppo .unts ne9t doo( ? ? ? ah3ll /u.1in 1ill thu4 ? ? ? He sa0 Cha(lene sittin) in the .hai(? I ,e3ll )it ye anothe( (abbit- hen ? ? ? :he loo1ed at hi4 in si4ple- .onte4ptuous loathin)? :he 1ne0 0hat had happened to the (abbit? He 1ne0 that she 1ne0? He slapped he( tenByea(Bold /a.e ha(d- and she /ell to the /loo(? He( 4othe( .a4e in and p(otested and he hospitalised he(- 1no.1in) he( un.ons.ious and b(ea1in) he( 2a0 0ith one pun.h? He then 0ent o// to the pub- lea+in) the 1id to .all $$$ and an a4bulan.e? Th(ou)h he( sho.1 it too1 he( 0hat see4ed a)es to 4ana)e to dial? A/te( ha+in) told he( this sto(y- Gha(lene stood up b(is1ly- and s4iled .hee(/ully? I ,hai(e a(e 0e )aun thenH No0 Lisa 0anted to )o to bed?

An A6eri'an in Leith
It p(o+ed di//i.ult to /ind a .ab- and th(ee 0ent past hi4 be/o(e F(an1lin /la))ed one do0n and headed o// to Leith? He inst(u.ted a d(i+e(- 0ho4 he thou)ht 0as su(ly- to stop at the /i(st ba( in Leith that had a late li.en.e? The d(i+e( loo1ed at hi4 as i/ he 0as 4ental? I Thi(3s loads ay the4 open late? It3s the Festi+al? I The /i(st one 0ith a late li.en.e in Leith- he (epeated? The d(i+e( had been 0o(1in) a lon)- ti(in) shi/t- ta1in) da/t .unts 0ho didn3t 1no0 0hat they 0anted to doo( 0he(e- o( 0hen- a(ound the to0n? They e9pe.ted hi4 to ha+e an en.y.lopaedi. 1no0led)e o/ the Festi+al? Nu4be( thi(tyBei)ht- they3d shout /o( the +enue- as i/ they 0e(e in a Chinese ta1ea0ay? Eithe( that- o( they3d na4e the a.tual sho0? The d(i+e( 0as si.1 and ti(ed o/ it all? I Thi(3s Leith n thi(3s
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Leith 4ate- he e9plained? I ,hat you 1en as Leith 4i)ht no be 0hat ah 1en as Leith? F(an1lin loo1ed nonplussed? I Dae ye 4ean doon the :ho(e- o( the Fit ay the ,al1- o( Pil(i)- 0he(e Edinbu()h be.o4es LeithH Whaire in LeithH I Is this Leith yetH The d(i+e( loo1ed at the 6ounda(y 6a(? I This is the sta(t ay it? Jist )it oa/ he(e n 1eep 0al1in? Thi(3s a loat ay pubs but? F(an1lin e9ited and 0ea(ily handed the 4an so4e .ash? It 0as no (eal distan.e at all? He t(ied to do a 5ui.1 .al.ulation and /an.ied that he .ould ha+e .o+e(ed =anhattan /o( the sa4e ta(i//? An)(ily F(an1lin ente(ed a spa(tan ba(- but the(e 0as no Cath(yn to be seen? Indeed- it 0as i4possible to e+en +isualise he( in su.h a pla.e? He didn3t sti.1 a(ound? Passin) anothe( ba(- he dis.o+e(ed that the d(i+e( 0as (i)ht- she .ould be any0he(e- they did all see4 to ha+e a late li.en.e? In the ne9t one- the(e 0as still no Cath(yn- but he o(de(ed a d(in1? I La()e s.at.h- he nodded to the ba(4an? I Is that an A4e(i.an a..ent 4ate- ayeH a +oi.e said in his ea(? He3d been +a)uely a0a(e o/ so4ebody standin) ne9t to hi4? Tu(nin)- he sa0 t0o 4en- both 0ith .(e0B.uts? They loo1ed .on+entionally tou)h- one o/ the4 0ith dead eyes- totally at odds 0ith his bi) s4ile? I Deah ? ? ? I A4e(i.a- eh La((y? Ah /u.1in lo+ed o0e( thai( but? Ne0 Do(1- that3s 0hai(e ah 0is? De o0e( he(e /i( the Festi+al 4ate- ayeH I Deah- I34 ? ? ? I The Festi+al- the 4an sno(ted? I Load ay /u.1in pish i/ ye as1 4e? ,astin /u.1in )ood 4oney oan no0t? HiG he shouted at the ba(4an- I anothe( /u.1in 0his1y /i( oo( A4e(i.an buddy he(e? Fi( 4e n La((y n a0? I No- (eally ? ? ? F(an1lin be)an to de.line? I Aye (eally- the 4an said- in a tone so .oldly insistent it 0as all F(an1lin Delaney .ould do to stop hi4sel/ shudde(in)? The ba(4an- a bi)- (uddy- sto.1y 4an 0ith bla.1B(i44ed )lasses and a sti.1in)Bup 4op o/ sandyB.olou(ed hai( san) .hee(/ully- I Th(ee la()e 0his1ies .o4in up- F(an.o? The othe( 4an- the one .alled La((y- let his /a.e .(ease in .onspi(a.y? I Tell ye 0hat but- 4ate- A4e(i.an bu(ds- )a4e as /u.1? ,ell up /i( it? That3s 0hat ah dae 0hin it3s Festi+al ti4e- /i(e intae
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anythin) 0i an A4e(i.an a..ent? Aussies- Ne0 >ealande(s n a0? Ga4e as /u.1- he said- li/tin) the )lass to his lips?

I I)no(e that .unt- 4ate- eh3s a /u.1in se9 .ase- the 4an .alled F(an.o said- I a0 eh thin1s aboot is )ittin ehs hole? I Na0 bit- F(an.o- so4e .unts say it3s the .olonial thin)- b(e1in a0ay /ae the han)Bups ay the auld 0o(ld? ,hat dae you thin1 4ateH I ,ell- I don3t (eally ? ? ? I That3s /u.1in shite- F(an.o snapped- I bu(ds u( /u.1in bu(ds? Disnae 4atte( 0hai(e the /u.1 they .o4e /ae? :o4e (ide li1e /u.1- so4e dinnae? La((y (aised his hands in appease4ent- then tu(ned to F(an1lin 0ith a )lint in his eye? I Tell ye 0hat but4ate- you settle an a()u4ent- bet0een 4ates- li1es? F(an.o loo1ed at hi4 .hallen)in)ly? I Na0 bit- this .unt3s a 4an ay the 0o(ld- you3+e t(a+elled aboot a bit- eh 4ateH La((y 5uiEEed- a 4is.hie+ous s4ile on his lips? I :o tell ays- i/ ye 1in- dae A4e(i.an bu(ds sha) 4ai( thin Eu(opean bu(dsH I Loo1- I don3t 1no0- I 2ust 0ant to ha+e a d(in1 in pea.e and head o//- F(an1lin (eplied? La((y loo1ed at F(an.o- then he lun)ed /o(0a(d- )(abbed F(an1lin3s lapels and bundled hi4 a)ainst the ba(? I :o 0e3(e no /u.1in )ood enou)h tae d(in1 0i- ya /u.1in :he(4an .untH Ta1e a /u.1in d(in1 oa/ us n a0G F(an.o stepped in and sta(ted to slo0ly p(ise La((y a0ay? 6ut La((y 1ept his )(ip on F(an1lin- 0hose hea(t 0as pu4pin)? I :ettle do0n no0- lads- the ba(4an said? I Lit )o ay that .unt- La((y- ah34 /u.1in 0ell tellin ye- F(an.o said in a lo0 +oi.e? I Nup? Eh3s )aun ootside 0i 4e? Eh3s )ittin done? I I/ thi(3s any .unt )aun ootside 0i you- it3s 4e? Ah34 /u.1in see1 ay you( patte(- F(an.o )(o0led? I I only 0anted a d(in1- F(an1lin pleaded? I 7i)ht- La((y said- lettin) )o o/ F(an1lin? He pointed o+e( F(an.o3s shoulde( at the A4e(i.an? I Dou3(e )ittin it- he sna(led- be/o(e headin) out the doo(? F(an.o /ollo0ed hi4- tu(nin) 5ui.1ly to the +isito( and sayin)- I Dou 0ait he(e? F(an1lin 0asn3t )oin) any0he(e? Those )uys 0e(e ani4als? He 0at.hed the )uy st(ide- )un/i)hte(Bstyle and 0ith 4u(de(ous intent- out the doo( a/te( his /o(4e( /(iend? The ba(4an (olled his eyes?
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I ,ho 0e(e those )uys- F(an1lin in5ui(ed? The ba(4an shoo1 his head? I Dinnae 1en? Thi( no (e)ula(s in he(e? They loo1ed bad ne0s- so ah 2ist thoat ah3d bette( hu4ou( thu4? I I3ll ta1e anothe( s.at.h- a la()e one- F(an1lin said ne(+ously? He needed it to stop sha1in)? The ba(4an .a4e ba.1 0ith a double? F(an1lin 0ent to (ea.h /o( his 0allet in his inside po.1et? It 0as )one? He (an outside to 0he(e the t0o /i)htin) 4en 0ould be- only they 0e(en3t /i)htin)? They 0e(e )one? He loo1ed up and do0n the da(1ened tho(ou)h/a(e? All his .a(ds and his bi) notes 0e(e )one? He .he.1ed his 4oney in his t(ouse( po.1ets? Thi(tyBse+en pounds? The ba(4an appea(ed in the doo(0ay o/ the ba(? I De )aunny pey 4e /i( that d(in1- o( 0hatH he as1ed sou(ly?

&tone Island
Da+ie C(eed had )ot sto.1ed up on the pills and po0de(s /o( the 0ee1end- but it see4ed li1e e+e(y .unt 0anted the4 toni)ht? That 0as the Festi+al? That Lisa bi(d 0as tidy? He( 4ate 0as 0o(th one as 0ell- a bit poB /a.ed thou)h? C(eedo had t(ied to )et the4 to stay but they3d been an9ious to 4o+e on? He 0ould ha+e .au)ht up 0ith the4 late(- but the phone 1ept (in)in)? Late( on 7ab 6i((ell .a4e up 0ith Johnny Cata((h and so4e /at .o(1s.(e0Bheided .unt and this s1inny ha) 0ith an A4e(i.an a..ent? Loo1ed li1e an olde(- 6elsen +e(sion o/ that Ally =.6eal on the telly? Possibly 0o(th one i/ a bit pished? That .o(1s.(e0Bheided .unt loo1ed 0ell dod)y? C(eedo didn3t li1e the 0ay he 0as eyein) the (e.o(d de.1s and the telly? A teaBlea/ i/ e+e( the(e 0as one? And these th(eads ? ? ? 0hat a /u.1in 2a1ey? And 7ab 6i((ell- in a (epli.a a0ay topG C(eedo /in)e(ed the buttonBon :tone Island label on his shi(t- its .o4/o(tin) p(esen.e ensu(in) hi4 that the 0o(ld hadn3t )one .(aEy a/te( all- o( i/ it had- he3d 4ana)ed to isolate hi4sel/ /(o4 its luna.y? Te((y had hea(d o/ Da+ie C(eed? He hadn3t (ealised that the boy had su.h p(o4inent s.a(s? It (eally 0as 5uite a bad patte(n? Cata((h had said that so4ebody had de.1ed hi4- stu.1 a 4etal 4il1 .(ate on his /a.e and 2u4ped on it? No(4ally you too1 Cata((h3s sto(ies 0ith a pin.h o/ salt but in this .ase it loo1ed e9a.tly li1e that had happened? T(y as he 4i)ht- Te((y .ouldn3t stop loo1in) at C(eedo3s s.a(s?
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C(eedo .au)ht hi4 and all Te((y .ould do 0as s4ile and say- I Chee(s /o( so(tin us oot- 4ate?

I Ah so(t oot they boys anyti4e- he said- ta1in) .a(e to .oldly /(eeEe Te((y out o/ the e5uation? 7ab 6i((ell 0as loo1in) at Da+ie? He hadn3t )ot /at- and he had the sa4e thi.1 /ai( hai(- but his /a.e had bloated and (eddened in.on)(uously- p(obably due to the d(in1 and .ha(lie? It )ot so4e people li1e that? Cat.hin) the tense +ibe in the (oo4- 7ab said the /i(st thin) that .a4e into his head? I :a0 Le9o the othe( ni)ht ? ? ? his .on+i.tion /aded as he (e.alled that C(eedo and Le9o had /allen out yea(s a)o and ne+e( )ot ba.1 on te(4s- I at the F(in)e Club li1es? Te((y said so4ethin) li1e- I :o that3s 0he(e all the sa(to(ial boys about to0n a(e d(in1in) no0G C(eedo .ho1ed in a silent (a)e? 6i((ell and Cata((h had b(ou)ht a 0ide 2a1ey .unt up he(e and they 0e(e no0 bandyin) Le9o /u.1in :ette(in)ton3s na4e aboot- in his /u.1in hoose? I 7i)ht- ah3+e )ot thin)s tae dae- ah3ll see yis? C(eedo nodded to the doo( and 7ab and Johnny 0e(e only too happy to lea+e? At the botto4 o/ the stai( Te((y said- I Tell ays that .unt 0isnae nippy as /u.1? I De )oat the d(u)s- Te((y- that3s a0 that 0e 0anted? I =anne(s .ost no0t- 0hat 1ind ay i4p(ession is that tae )ie an A4e(i.an )uest ay :.ottish peopleH 7ab sh(u))ed and opened the stai(doo(? In his pe(iphe(al +ision he noted a ta9i and bounded into the st(eet/la))in) it do0n?

&#dne# Air2ort: ;&W: Australia Wednesda# 11.00 26
I (eally need so4ethin) /o( the plane? T(an5uillise(s o( shite li1e that? I34 .ha()in) into the .he4ist and I al4ost 1no.1 o+e( a display o/ (aEo(s? Cunt- .unt- .unt? I Cunt- I spit th(ou)h 4y teeth- and the 0ee lassie on the .ounte( loo1s at 4e- sees a s4elly /u.1in 2a1ey? Helena3s up alon)side 4e- )(a.e/ul and .lean- li1e a .a(e0o(1e( 0ith an un(uly .lient- so(tin) it out as .han)e /lies out 4y po.1et- th(ou)h 4y hand and a.(oss the /loo(? 7eedy and the Pa(lou( =aid stand ba.1- a bit e4ba((assed at this? It3s the sa4e sto(y at the boo1in) des1then the .he.1in)Bin des1- then .usto4s? 6ut I )ot on the /li)ht- Helena3s po0e(s o/ pe(suasion than1/ully st(on)e( than o//i.ialdo43s bullshit? ,ithout he(- I3d ne+e( ha+e lasted /i+e 4inutes in the ai(po(t- let alone )ot on the plane? I3+e )ot to )et ho4e thou)h? =y old 4an? All the poo( old basta(d e+e( as1ed o/ 4e 0as that I 1eep in tou.h? I .ouldn3t e+en do that? A sel/ish- sel/ish- sel/ish .unt? It 0as ne+e( in 4y )eneti. inhe(itan.e to be that 0ay? =y 4othe(- 4y /athe(- they 0e(e ne+e( li1e that- no( thei( pa(ents- ne+e( so spoiled- sel/Bindul)ent- 0ea1 and e)otisti.al? 6e you(sel/- he al0ays used to say to 4e 0hen I 0as a 1id? I 0as al0ays a bit hype(a.ti+e- al0ays ha+in) tae /u.1in) 0ell sho0 o//- and 4y 4othe( used to 0o((y ho0 I3d be at /a4ily do3s- 0hethe( o( not I3d be an e4ba((ass4ent? =y old boy ne+e( bothe(ed but? He3d 2ust ta1e 4e aside and tell 4e to be 4ysel/? That3s all you need tae dae in li/e? Just be you(sel/- he3d tell 4e?
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Fa( /(o4 bein) an easy option- it 0as the 4ost di//i.ult- .hallen)in) thin) anybody e+e( as1ed o/ 4e? No0 I34 (eady to )o th(ou)h the )ates and I3+e said )oodbye tae 7eedy and Celeste Pa(lou(- 0ho3+e headed to the ba(? Helena3s he(e 0ith 4e and I34 s5ueeEin) on he( hand- 0antin) to stay- needin) to )o? I34 loo1in) into he( eyes- unable to spea1- hopin) that it3s all in the(e- but /ea(in) that all she .an (ead is 4y /ea( and an9iety /o( 4y old boy? I thin1 o/ the ti4e she said to 4e that she3d lo+e to see London? I laun.hed into a ti(ade tellin) he( that London 0as a dull- o+e(hyped- (ep(essi+e and snobbish .ity@ that Leeds o( =an.heste( 0e(e /a( 4o(e inte(estin) pla.es to be in En)land? I 2ust hated the laEy- tou(isty .o4pla.en.y o/ he( (e4a(1? O/ .ou(se- I 0as )i+in) a0ay 4y o0n neu(oses- all 4y o0n han)Bups? It 0as a si4ple- inno.ent .o44ent- and I a.ted li1e a boo(ish- o+e(bea(in) .unt- as I al0ays did to anyone I 0as in a (elationship 0ith /o( too lon)? E9.essi+e d(u)ta1in) has (edu.ed 4e to a t0it.hin)- bitte( shell? No- it3s not e+en a )ood e9.use? =y head3s /u.1in )one@ all the d(u)s3+e done is helped 4e alon) the 0ay? :he holds 4e ti)ht? :he3s so s.(ubbed- and .lean- all the thin)s I3d snee( at- 0hi.h I (eally lo+ed about he(? I 1no0 that she3s doin) this out o/ duty- that this is he( pa(tin) shot and she3s )oin) to tell 4e that it3s all o+e( a/te( this? I3+e been he(e be/o(e- it3s no 4o(e than I dese(+e- but I 0ant thin)s to be di//e(ent? I I3ll phone you( 4othe( and tell he( you3(e on you( 0ay- she says? I T(y to .all he( /(o4 6an)1o1? O( i/ you /eel too /u.1ed and you thin1 it3s )oin) to upset he(- .all 4e and I3ll phone he(? Ca(l- you (eally should )o th(ou)h no0? :he 4o+es a0ay- and I /eel he( hands slip th(ou)h and out o/ 4ine- 0ith a si.1- 2a((in) blo0 to 4y hea(t? I I3ll phone you? I3+e )ot a lot o/ thin)s I need tae say ??? I ??? I Dou should )o- she says- and tu(ns a0ay? :hellBsho.1ed- I sta))e( th(ou)h the ai(po(t se.u(ity? I loo1 a(ound to see i/ she3s the(e but she3s )one?

(dinbur9h: &'otland Thursda# 2?! a4? The 6itte(est Pill is =ine to Ta1e
Cath(yn had done loads o/ .o1e at one ti4e- but she3d ne+e( t(ied e.stasy be/o(e? :he /elt a sense o/

t(epidation as she s0allo0ed the bitte( pill? I ,hat happens no0H she as1ed 7ab 6i((ell- loo1in) (ound at the )(o0in) th(on)s o/ people in the .lub? I ,e 2ist 0ait till it .o4es oan- 7ab 0in1ed? :o they did? Cath(yn 0as 2ust sta(tin) to )et bo(ed 0hen she /elt a beauti/ul nausea )(ippin) he(? 6ut the 5ueasy /eelin)s 5ui.1ly 0o(e o// and she 0as soon a0a(e that she 0as ne+e( so li)ht o( tuned into the 4usi.? It 0as /antasti.? :he (an a hand do0n he( ba(e a(4- en2oyin) a deli.ious- (aptu(ous un(a+ellin) o/ tension? :oon she 0as on the ed)e o/ the dan.e/loo(- settlin) into the deep house )(oo+e- 4o+in) by unsel/.ons.ious instin.tlost in the 4usi.? :he3d ne+e( dan.ed li1e this be/o(e? People 1ept on .o4in) up to he(- sha1in) he( hand and hu))in) he(? ,hen they did this a/te( a )i) 0hen she 0as 0i(ed- it /elt int(usi+e and 4ade he( an9ious? No0 it /elt 0onde(/ul and 0a(4? T0o o/ the people hu))in) and )(eetin) he( 0e(e )i(ls .alled Lisa and Cha(lene? I Cath(yn Joyne(- a top head ? ? ? Lisa said in an en.hanted endo(se4ent? Cata((h sa0 his .han.e and 4o+ed in? He sta(ted dan.in) 0ith Cath(yn- pullin) he( in to0a(ds the hea(t o/ the bass? Cath(yn /elt he(sel/ bein) s0ept alon) 0ith the )(oo+e in a boun.y (ush? Cata((h 0as an old soul boyand he (eally 1ne0 ho0 to dan.e to house 4usi.? Jui.e Te((y and 7ab 6i((ell loo1ed on /(o4 the ba( in 4ountin) dis4ay thou)h 7ab 4ana)ed to d(a0 .onside(able .o4/o(t /(o4 the /a.t that Te((y loo1ed e+en 4o(e upset than he did? Te((y .ouldn3t stand it any lon)e(- he de.ided to head to the toilet370

4aybe ta1e a line ay that .ha(lie? He didn3t )o out so 4u.h these days- but 0hen he did- he p(e/e((ed .ha(lie to E3s? In /a.t- he didn3t 1no0 0hy he3d ta1en a pill? The booths 0e(e /ull o/ people doin) lines thou)h- and it 0as bette( to sa+e the .ha(lie /o( late(? :tandin) at the lat(ine- Te((y 0hipped out his .o.1 and did a lon) E pish- the 1ind that ne+e( see4 to be /inished- e+en 0hen they a(e? Not en2oyin) the sensation that he 0as pissin) his t(oose(s and .ontinually .he.1in) to 4a1e su(e that it 0as 2ust an illusion- Te((y t(ied to /i9 his hai( then e9ited? Outside the toilet- th(ee )i(ls- done up to the nines in .lub )ea(- 0e(e tal1in)- s4o1in) .i)a(ettes? One in pa(ti.ula( loo1ed stunnin) to hi4? :he3d 4ade a (eal e//o(t and he al0ays app(e.iated lassies that did that? He app(oa.hed .hee(/ully and said- I Dou loo1 )o()eous- doll- it hus tae be said? The )i(l loo1s this /at )uy in the st(an)e th(eads up and do0n? I And you loo1 auld enou)h tae be 4a /aithe(- she (eplies? Te((y 0in1s at he( pals then s4iles at the )i(l- I Aye- and ah 0ould3+e been n a0 i/ that pit bull te((ie( hudnae been .he0in oan yi( =a3s 4in)e at the ti4e- he states .hee(/ully- e9itin) 0ith the lau)hte( o/ the lassie3s /(iends s0eet 4usi. in his ea(s? Te((y )ot ba.1 to the ba( 0he(e 7ab 0as still standin)- 0at.hin) Johnny and Cath(yn dan.in)? I John 6oy3s en2oyin) ehsel? I That3s the only 0ey Cata((h 1in ba) o//? :ti.1 oan a 0hite shi(t- ne.1 an e.1y and dan.e 0i a bi(d that3s E3d up- Te((y snee(ed? Althou)h he3d put that .hee1y /u.1e( outside the toilets in he( pla.e- he 0as still (an1led at he( .o44ent? He loo1ed at 6i((ell and Cata((h? The /i+e o( si9 yea(s bet0een hi4 and the4 see4ed 4o(e li1e ten? :o4e0he(e bet0een his a)e and thei(s- )ad)es had sta(ted to loo1 a/te( the4sel+es a bit bette(? Te((y la4ented the /a.t that he 0as 2ust on the 0(on) side o/ a .ultu(al s.his4? Cata((h 0as 0ell into his pills- and he lo+ed the 0ay they 4ade hi4 e//o(tlessly su((ende( to the beat? He put Cath(yn th(ou)h a p(etty )(uellin) shu//le on that dan.e/loo(- 0aitin) until the )listenin) beads o/ s0eat 0hi.h /o(4ed on he( head unde(neath those st(obes 4e()ed into thei( /i(st (i+ulet- be/o(e ta1in) that as his .ue to nod a.(oss to so4e /(ee seats in the .hillBout a(ea? I Dou su(e .an dan.e- Johnny- Cath(yn said as they sat do0n .lose to ea.h othe( and pulled on the 8ol+i.? Johnny had a .haste a(4 (ound he( thin to(so 0hi.h /elt )ood /o( the4 both? The(e 0as so4ethin) (eally /(esh and beauti/ul about this boy- Cath(yn told
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he(sel/- /eelin) the pill /lutte( th(ou)h he( as she lu9u(iantly sp(ead he( a(4s? B Ah play )uita( n a0- 1en? That3s ho0 ah )ot 4a na4e- Johnny Guita(? Played in bands /i( yea(s? Ah lo+e dan.e 4usi.- but 4a /i(st lo+e is (o.1 3n3 (oll? Guita(- eh? J Guita(- Cath(yn s4iled- loo1in) sea(.hin)ly into Johnny3s 4a)ni/i.ent- da(1 eyes? I Aye- see thi( 0is this boy .alled Johnny 3Guita(3 ,atson n that 0is ba((y .os 0i baith played )uita( n hud the sa4e na4e eh? That 0is ho0 ah )oat the na4e Johnny Guita(- e/ti( the boy? 6la.1 boy li1es- A4e(i.an n that? I Jahnny Guita( ,ahtson- I )uess I3+e hea(d o/ hi4- Cath(yn lied- in that +a)ue A4e(i.an stone( 0ay0hi.h see4ed desi)ned not to .ause too 4u.h o//en.e? I Ah li1e 4a a.ousti.- but ah 1in be the 4ad a9e 0a((io( /ae hell 0hin ah li1e tae n a0? And 0i( no 2ist

tal1in aboot a /e0 :tatus Kuo nu4be(s o( mo3e an the Water he(e ??? so- Cata((h p(epa(ed his pit.h- I ??? i/ yi( e+e( needin a )uita(ist- ah34 yi( 4an? I I3ll bea( that in 4ind- Johnny- Cath(yn said- st(o1in) the ba.1 o/ his hand? This 0as all the en.ou(a)e4ent Cata((h needed? A 4y(iad o/ oppo(tunities shu//led th(ou)h his b(ain? Elton John and Geo()e =i.hael on sta)e in a 4assi+e- tele+ised- stadiu4 .ha(ity e9t(a+a)anEa- 0hen 0ho should .o4e on- /(o4 ea.h 0in)- 0ieldin) thei( a9es- loo1in) .ool and /o.used- but 0ith those sli)htly i(oni.1no0in) nods to the audien.e and the .a4e(as- but E(i. Clapton and Johnny Guita(? Elton and Geo()e 0ould .e(e4oniously bo0 and 0a+e ea.h a9e4an to the /(ont 0he(e a bliste(in)- sho0yBbutBti)htBasBaBdu.13sBa(se )uita( duet buildin) up to ne0 hei)hts th(ou)h its t0entyB4inute du(ation 0ould be pi.1ed and batte(ed /(o4 the st(in)s o/ those Gibson Les Pauls by the le)enda(y )uita( hands- sendin) the audien.e into a state o/ un.ont(olled (aptu(e? Then Elton and Geo()e 0ould 4o+e ba.1 to the /(ont o/ the house and (e.o44en.e Don*t 9et the un Go Do%n on "e and a .lose .a4e(a shot 0ould (e+eal- to billions o/ +ie0e(s- the tea(s st(ea4in) do0n Elton3s /a.e- so o+e(0(ou)ht 0ould he be at the blindin) pe(/o(4an.e o/ the 4aest(os? At the end o/ the son)- he3d .o4pletely b(ea1 do0n and i4plo(eF I Co4e ba.1 on ??? E(i. ? ? ? Johnny ? ? ? and the t0o a9e4en 0ould loo1 at ea.h othe( sa)ely- in 4utual (espe.t- sh(u) and (eappea( to the bi))est .hee( o/ the ni)ht? Cata((h 0ould st(ide /o(0a(d .on/idently ;his talent dee4ed that he
37(

had a (i)ht to su.h a sta)e< but not a((o)antly ;he 0as- a/te( all- still an o(dina(y )uy /(o4 the Calde(s- that 0as 0hy the punte(s lo+ed hi4< and )i+e that sli)htly sel/Bdep(e.atin) s4ile 0hi.h 4ade the )uys en+ious and the .hi.1s 0ide and 0et in the nethe( (e)ions? Elton 0ould e9t(a+a)antly hu) the 4aest(os- o+e(.o4e 0ith e4otion? Hyste(i.ally and in haltin) sobs he3d int(odu.e the4 as 3? ? ? 4y )(eat /(iends ? ? ? =( E(i. Clapton and =( Johnny Guita( ? ? ?3 be/o(e bein) led /(o4 the 4i. by a sy4patheti. Geo()e? Elton and Geo()e 0ould ta1e tu(ns to hu) Guita(- 0hi.h 4i)ht be a bit dod)y 0ith the boys 0at.hin) it on the :il+e( ,in) telly- 0hat 0ith the4 bein) poo/s and all that? 6ut the )ad)es 0ould su(ely unde(stand that sho0biE people- artists, 0e(e- by thei( natu(e- 4o(e e9p(essi+e and passionate than the (est o/ hu4anity? =ind you- Guita( didn3t 0ant anybody ta1in) the piss? The bitte( punte(s le/t behind- Jui.e Te((y bein) a p(i4e e9a4ple- 0ould play up that one /o( all it 0as 0o(th? A)ly (u4ou(s 0ould be de+eloped on the basis o/ one inno.ent- e4otional- theat(i.al )uestu(e? Johnny 0ould ha+e to thin1 lon) and ha(d about those hu)s /(o4 Elton and Geo()e? They .ould be 4is.onst(ued by the una0a(e and t0isted by the 2ealous? He thou)ht o/ =o((issey sin)in) We $ate It When 0ur .riends Become uccessful. ,ell- they 0ould 2ust ha+e to- be.ause Johnny Guita(- yes- that 0as GAITA7- not Cata((h and not John 6oy- 0as on the 4o+e? Cath(yn Joyne( 0as 2ust a steppin) stone? :he 0as a nobody? On.e he 0as established- that old do) 0ould be t(aded in /o( a su..ession o/ youn)e( 4odels? Pop sta(lets- T8 p(esente(s- pa(ty .hi.1s- they 0ould all .o4e and )o as he played the .i(.uit 0ith (uthless abandon be/o(e /indin) t(ue lo+e 0ith so4e intelle.tual but beauti/ul 0o4anpe(haps a youn) postB4ode(n a.ade4i.- 0ho 0ould ha+e the b(ains but also the hea(t- to unde(stand the .o4ple9ity o/ the 4ind and soul o/ a t(ue a(tist li1e Johnny GAITA7? Thin)s .ouldn3t be ta1en /o( )(anted thou)h- Jui.e Te((y 0as a (i+al? 6ut he 2ust 0anted to use Cath(yn? G(anted- Johnny did too- but he 0as usin) he( to be.o4e ulti4ately independent and sel/Bsu//i.ient? Te((y3s +ision ended at he( shellin) out /o( a /e0 bee(s- so4e .ha(lie- a .u((y and then sha))in) hi4 be/o(e they settled do0n to a ni)ht o/ 0at.hin) the telly in that sta)nant pit o/ his? That 0ould be a (esult as /a( as that /at /(iEEyBheided 2a1ey 0as .on.e(ned? It 0ould be .(i4inal to let Cath(yn be e9ploited /o( su.h t(i+ial .on.e(ns? :he 0as 0o(th 4o(e than bein) used as a )lo(i/ied (e4ote .ont(ol? And then the(e 0as 7ab 6i((ell? The typi.al .yni.al s.he4ie
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intelle.tual- too 4u.h o/ a .(iti. to e+e( a.hie+e anythin) in li/e? 6i((ell- so s4u) about tellin) you ho0 thin)s a(e and 0hat is and isn3t shite that he /o()ets that the yea(s a(e (ollin) by and he3s still done nothin) 4o(e than si)n his na4e e+e(y /o(tni)ht and do a /e0 4odules at :te+enson Colle)e unde( the t0entyBoneB hou( (ule? 6i((ell- 0ho a.tually belie+ed that tal1in) his po4pous shite about politi.s to hal/Bpished o( 2ellied .unts in 0estBside pubs 0as )oin) to (aise thei( .ons.iousness and inspi(e the4 to ta1e politi.al a.tion and .o4bine to .han)e so.iety? ,hat 0ould 6i((ell 0ant 0ith Joyne(H To tell the da/t Dan1ee .o0 that she 0as su//e(in) /(o4 /alse .ons.iousness and should (e2e.t the 0o(ld o/ .apitalist ente(tain4ent and )i+e he( 4oney to so4e bun.h o/ naeB4ates sad .unts 0ho .alled the4sel+es a 3(e+olutiona(y pa(ty3 soas that they .ould )o and +isit othe( dippit /u.1e(s li1e the4sel+es in di//e(ent .ount(ies on 3/a.tB/indin) 4issions3H The p(oble4 0as that 6i((ell3s po9y nonsense 4i)ht ha+e a 4oonies type o/ appeal /o( a (i.h Dan1 0ho had p(obably t(ied e+e(y othe( 1ind o/ (eli)ion- politi.s- 4edi.ine o( li/estyle /ad )oin)? 7ab 6i((ell- in his sel/B(i)hteous 0ay- 0as 4o(e dan)e(ous to Johnny3s a4bitions than Jui.e Te((y? A/te( all- she3d soon )et bo(ed o/ li+in) on the dole in :au)hton =ains 0ith a /at .unt and his 4othe(? It 0as a lon) 0ay /(o4 =adison :5ua(e Ga(dens? 6ut those

politi.al and (eli)ious .unts .ould )et (i)ht intae yi( heid? 6(ain0ash ye? Cath(yn had to be p(ote.ted /(o4 the4 as 0ell? Johnny shot a )lan.e o+e( to the ba( 0he(e the p(edato(s 0e(e )(aEin) at thei( 0ate(in) hole? :pu((ed on- Cata((h .ontinued- I Ah 0(ite son)s n a0? I ,o0- Cath(yn said? Johnny li1ed the .i(.les he( 4outh and eyes 4ade 0hen she did that? That 0as it 0ith A4e(i.ans? They 0e(e so positi+e about thin)s- no li1e he(e in :.otland? Dou .ouldnae sha(e you( d(ea4s and +isions he(e- not 0ithout so4e bitte( .unt snee(in) at you? That 3ah 1ent his /aithe(3 b(i)ade? ,ell they .ould a0 /u.1 o//- be.ause his /aithe( 1ent the4 as 0ell and they 0e(e- a(e- and 0ould al0ays be a set o/ /u.1in 0an1e(s? Cath(yn /elt anothe( (ush /(o4 the e.stasy and she had a su()e o/ )ood0ill to0a(ds Cata((h? He 0as a (eally .ute )uy- in a di(ty- (atty so(t o/ 0ay? 6est o/ all- he 0as thin? I Thi(3s one ay the son)s thit ah 0(ote ? ? ? it3s .alled ocial Climber. Ah3ll 2ist sin) ye the .ho(usF 3De 1in be a so.ial .li4be(- ye 1in )it (i)ht oa/ the dole- but (e4e4be( 0ho yi( /(iends a(e- o( you3ll /a0 doon a bla.1 hole ? ? ?3 Cata((h .(a.1led- su.1in) do0n 4o(e 4u.us /(o4 the
37/

ba.1 o/ his nasal .a+ities to lub(i.ate his d(y th(oat? I 6ut that3s 2ist the .ho(us li1es? I It sounds (eally neat? I )uess it3s sayin) that you )otta (e4e4be( you( (oots? Dylan 0(ote so4ethin) si4ila( ? ? ? I Funny you sayin that- .ause Dylan3s one ay 4a bi))est in/luen.es ? ? ? 6a.1 at the ba(- Te((y and 7ab3s b(ie/ unity didn3t last? F(ust(ated at Cata((h3s su..ess- Te((y 0as )ettin) a 4is.hie+ous (athe( than lo+edBup buEE /(o4 the E? I 36usiness3 6i((ell? That3s a )ood yin- eh- he lau)hedloo1in) at 7ab /o( a (ea.tion? 7ab loo1ed a0ay and shoo1 his head 0ith a ti)ht s4ile? I 6usiness 6i((ell- Te((y (epeated so/tly- his +oi.e 0obblin) in 4i(th/ul disdain? E+en th(ou)h the lu9u(iant bullshitB/(ee .la(ity the pills a//o(ded hi4- 7ab had to ad4it that Te((y 0as a sup(e4e 0indBup 4e(.hant? I Te((y- i/ you3+e )oat anythin) tae say tae 4a b(a(- say it tae hi4- no 4e- 7ab s4iled a)ain? I Na0- ah34 2ust thin1in aboot the headline in the pape( that ti4e- 6i((ell =eans 6usiness? =ind ay thatH 7ab slapped Te((y on the ba.1 and o(de(ed a .ouple o/ 8ol+i.s? He .ouldn3t be a(sed )ettin) into it? Te((y 0as o1ay- he 0as his 4ate? Des- he 0as 2ealous o/ 7ab3s b(othe(- but that 0as an issue /o( Te((y to (esol+e? :ad .unt- 7ab thou)ht .hee(/ully? In Te((y3s head he 0as playin) the 4ant(aF 6illy 6i((ell- :illy Gi(l? He 4inded that oneF /ae 0ay ba.1 at p(i4a(y s.hool? Then the(e 0as :e.(et :5ui((el? He had 4ade that yin up? 6illy hated thatG This sta(ts Te((y thin1in) ba.1 thou)h- o( (athe( /o(0a(d /(o4 that point- about ho0 pally he and 6illy 6i((ell 0e(e? They 0e(e )(eat 4ates@ it 0asn3t Te((y and 7ab o( Te((y and Post Ale. ba.1 then it 0as Te((y and 6illy- 6illy and Te((y? The t0o o/ the4- and Andy Gallo0ay? Gallo0ay? He 0as so4e .unt? Dou 4issed that 0ee /u.1e(? And Ca(l? Ca(l E0a(t? NB:IGN? The te.hno sta(? It had been Te((y that had )i+en hi4 the na4e? Te((y t(ied to thin1 about the in/luen.e the na4e NB:IGN had on Ca(l3s dee2ay .a(ee(? It 4eant e+e(ythin)? He 0as entitled- su(ely- to a .ut o/ his old 4ate3s ea(nin)s /o( su))estin) that? Ca(l E0a(t? ,he(e 0as that .unt no0H 7ab su.1ed on one o/ the 8ol+i.s and let the 4usi. ta1e hi4 into the dan.e? The pills 0e(e e9.ellent? He 0as .yni.ial o/ E3s potential as a li/eB.han)in) /o(.e@ it had 4oti+ated hi4 into )oin) to .olle)e- but he /elt that he had ta1en it as /a( as it .ould )o? It 0as no0 2ust in the
37)

al.ohol- speed- .ha(lie- and? on o..asions- do0ne( 4i9 0hi.h 4ade up the 4enu on ni)hts out? ,hen you )ot pills o/ this 5uality thou)h- it 4ade you (e.onside(? A +ibe o/ the )ood old days o/ a /e0 yea(s ba.1 0as appa(entF the pla.e 0as )lo0in) in that sense o/ .a(e/(ee unity? And no0- 0ithout a.tually (ealisin) 0hat he 0as doin)- he 0as tal1in) to not one- but t0o /u.1in )o()eous bi(ds? =o(e i4po(tantly- /(o4 7ab3s point o/ +ie0- he 0as doin) it 0ithout any o/ the bullshit ba))a)e o/ sel/B.ons.iousness o( t(yin) to be s4a(t o( a))(essi+e to hide the /a.t that he 0as a shy :.ottish s.he4ie 0ith a b(othe( and no siste(s and had ne+e( (eally lea(ned ho0 to tal1 to 0o4en p(ope(ly? 6ut no p(oble4 no0? It3s easy? Dou 2ust say- ho03s it )oin)- ha+in) a )ood oneH and thin)s /lo0 0ithout testoste(one o( so.ial .onditionin) playin) thei( u)ly t(i.1s? Dou see one o/ the )i(ls- Lisa3s he( na4e- she3s dan.in) a0ay- he( lon) blonde hai( s0ishin) side to side- he( 0hite top )lo0in) 0ith an ele.t(i.Bblue sheen- he( a(se loo1in) li1e it (ules the 0o(ld- and it does- as she s0in)s in a sensuous )(oo+e? He sees the dee2ay- C(ai) :4ith- e9e.utin) a di//i.ult 4i9 and pullin) it o// 0ith the .asual non.halan.e o/ an e9pe(ien.ed Ne0 Do(1 piEEa .he/ in Little Italy- th(o0in) to)ethe( one o/ those appetisin) .(eations? All those )i(ls and the dee2ay 2ust 0o(1in) the4 all- 1no0in) that the boys 0ill /all into line? That3s Lisa- a 0illin) p(isone( o/ the )(oo+e? 6ut it3s the othe( one- Cha(lene- that da(1Bheided 0ee )ypsyBlassie 0ho 7ab /inds the (eal 0o(1 o/ a(t in this e9hibition o/ the shee(- o+e(0hel4in)- 4a)ni/i.ent beauty o/ 0o4en? :he3s tellin) hi4 that she3s 0antin) to )ou.h and no0 she3s sittin) on the 1nee o/ one 7obe(t 6i((ell in o(de( to

do this and she3s (ubbin) his ba.1 and he3s st(o1in) he( a(4 and she says to the boy 6i((ell- I Ah li1e you? Does the 6i((ell )ad)e 4u4ble so4ethin) in )(u// e4ba((ass4ent- does he spoil the 4o4ent by the al.oholi./li)hty- 3De /an.y a sha) thenH3 o( does he loo1 a(ound all pa(anoid- 0o((ied that he3s been set up /o( (idi.ule by so4e soB.alled 4ate li1e Jui.e Te((yH Does he /u.1? 7obe(t 6i((ell 2ust )oes- I Ah li1e you n a0- and the(e3s no sel/B.ons.ious- 2e(1y- /(oEenBti4e loo1 into the eyes- no tense pause /o( the inte(p(etation and 4isinte(p(etation o/ the si)nal? The(e3s 2ust t0o 4ouths and ton)ues .o4in) to)ethe( in a (ela9ed- lan)uid 0ay and t0o psy.hes t0istin) to)ethe( li1e sna1es? 7ab 6i((ell is both pleased and disappointed at the sa4e ti4e to note that the(e is no e(e.tion in si)ht be.ause he is on a t(ans.endental lo+e t(ip 0ith this Cha(lene lassie but a sha) 0ould be ni.e and he 4ust bea( this in 4ind be.ause p(io(ities .han)e late( but /u.1 that 2ust no0? Just sittin) he(e
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sno))in)- tou.hin) he( a(4? A/te( Joanne had )one- he3d spent a ni)ht s.(e0in) a )i(l he3d pi.1ed up in a pub- 0ithout )ettin) any0he(e nea( this le+el o/ inti4a.y? Lisa is ne9t to the4 and she3s sayin) to 7ab- 0ho3s .o4e up /o( ai(- I De li1e .o.1tailsH I Aye ? ? ? 7ab says hesitantly- thin1in) that this lassie has no need to buy hi4 a d(in1- an e9pensi+e .o.1tail ? ? ? besides- he3s on the E t(ip ? ? ? Lisa loo1s at Gha(lene and lau)hs- I :he .ould tell ye a /e0?

Ta8i
I Du+ )oat tae ad4it it but- eh pal- thit :.otland3s a /(iendly pla.e- the youn) )uy at the ba( said to hi4? F(an1lin th(ust his hand /u(the( into his t(ouse( po.1et? I Eh that3s (i)ht pal- eh? I Deah- he (eplied ne(+ously? I ,e3(e di//e(ent /ae the En)lish- the youn) 4an e4phasised? He 0as s1inny- had sho(t hai(- bad s1in and 0o(e a lon) s0eatshi(t- 0hi.h hun) on hi4 li1e a tent- and ba))y t(ouse(s /(ayed at the ed)es? The last .ouple o/ pubs had been b(i)hte( than the /i(st ones- but the(e 0as still no Cath(yn? I Ah 1in )it ye anythin) ye li1e but- 4ate- you na4e it? De 0antin a bit ay b(oonH I No- I don3t 0ant anythin) at all- than1 you- F(an1lin .ounte(ed .u(tly? His hand ti)htened (ound the notes in his po.1et? I Ah 1in )it ye so4e speed- )ood stu//? O( so4e E3sH Pu(e =D=A 4ate? Cha(lie? Oa/ the (o.1 n a0 4atebest yu+ i+i( hud- the youth s.(at.hed at his a(4? T0o 0hite 4a(1s out ea.h side o/ his 4outh )a+e his lo0e( 2a0 a puppetBli1e appea(an.e? F(an1lin )(itted his teeth? I Nothin) than1s? I Git ye so4e 2ellies? The boy3s 2ist o0e( the (oad? GeeE t0enty o//ay ye the no0- n ah3ll be ba.1 in a 4inute? F(an1lin 2ust sta(ed at the youn) 4an? The youth e9tended his pal4s? I A0(i)ht then- ye 1in .o4e up tae the boy3s hoose 0i 4e? Test the )ea(? Ho0 does that soundH I I34 tellin) you- I34 not inte(ested? A )(oup o/ stout 4en in thei( /i/ties 0e(e playin) da(ts? One o/
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the4 .a4e o+e(? I The boy telt ye- ya 2un1ie .unt- eh3s no inte(ested? No0 )it the /u.1 oot ay he(eG The youn) boy .o0e(ed a0ay- and headed /o( the doo(? As he e9ited- he shouted ba.1 at F(an1lin- I Dou3(e /u.1in 0ell .hibbed- ya /u.1in Dan1ee .untG The da(ts playe(s lau)hed? One o/ the4 .a4e up to F(an1lin? I Ah3d )it oot ay he(e i/ ah 0is you- 4ate? I/ ye 0ant tae d(in1 in Leith- yi( bette( )aun doon tae the :ho(e? 7oond he(e yi( /a.e3s )oat tae be 1ent o( yi3ll )it so4e .unt oan yi( .ase? It 4i)ht be 0el.o4e- it 4i)ht no- but that3s 0hat3ll happen? F(an1lin )(ate/ully too1 the 4an3s ad+i.e- his o0n e9pe(ien.e not e9a.tly .ont(adi.tin) that p(oposition? He headed do0n to the 0ate(/(ont and had a .ouple o/ lonely- 4audlin d(in1s? The(e 0as no si)n o/ Cath(yn and the(e 0e(e loads o/ pubs and (estau(ants he(e? It 0as useless? He3d .alled ba.1 at (e.eption- but she hadn3t (etu(ned to he( (oo4? Despite this- /eelin) de/eated by no0- he intended to tu(n in? He )ot anothe( .ab ba.1 up to Edinbu()h? I A4e(i.an- ayeH the .abbie as1ed as they sped up the ,al1? I Deah? I O+e( /i( the Festi+alH I Deah? I Funny- .ause you3(e the se.ond A4e(i.an ah3+e hud in 4a .ab the ni)ht? Dou3ll ne+e( )uess 0ho the /i(st one 0is- that sin)e(- Cath(yn Joyne(? F(an1lin /used (i)id 0ith e9.ite4ent? I ,he(e- he as1ed .al4ly- t(yin) to 1eep .ont(ol- I did you ta1e

he(H

&tars and Ci9arettes
Te((y and Johnny- both atte4ptin) to pu(sue a .e(tain a)enda- 0e(e )ettin) a bit i((itated as people 1ept .o4in) up to Cath(yn? This E3d b(othe(hood and siste(hood 0as o1ay- but they had business to attend to? Thus Te((y /ound hi4sel/ in a..o(d 0ith Cata((h 0hen Johnny as1ed 7ab 6i((ell- I Let3s )o ba.1 tae you(s? I Eh- a0(i)ht- said 7ab ? ? ? I3ll 2ust see? He hed)ed his bets- loo1in) o+e( at Cha(lene and Lisa? 7ab 0as dete(4ined that he 0as )oin) no0he(e 0ithout Cha(lene? They 0e(e up /o( it- but it 0as
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Cath(yn 0ho 0as at /i(st (elu.tant? I Te((y- I34 ha+in) su.h a )(eat ti4eG As usual- Te((y had an ans0e(? I Aye- but that3s 0hen ye should 4o+e oan? ,hin yi( hu+in a )(eat ti4e? Cause i/ ye 0ait till yi( hu+in a shite ti4e be/o(e ye )o- ye 2ist ta1e that shite ti4e 0i ye tae the ne9t pla.e? Cath(yn thou)ht about this- and .on.eded the point? This ni)ht had sta(ted o// st(an)e- but had slo0ly tu(ned into so4ethin) 0onde(/ul? And Te((y had .o4e th(ou)h /o( he( so /a(- so she 0as happy to )o alon) 0ith hi4? Te((y- /o( his pa(t- 0as su(p(ised to see that t0o o/ the )i(ls he3d seen ea(lie( on 0e(e 0ith 7ab 6i((ell? They 0e(e the ones 0ho3d been 0ith the lassie he3d insulted? Lisa loo1ed at hi4 and pointed- I That 0is b(illiantG He( =a3s 4in)e )ittin eaten by a pit bullG 7ab loo1ed nonplussed as Cha(lene and Lisa lau)hed thei( heads o//? Te((y did too- then said- se4iB apolo)eti.ally- I :o((y tae ta1e the pish oot ay yi( 4ate ? ? ? I Na0- it 0is ba((y- Lisa s4iled- I she3s a stu.1Bup .o0- he(? :he 0isnae 0i us? ,e 2ist bu4ped intae he(eh Cha(H I Aye- Cha(lene a)(eed? 7ab had )i+en he( so4e .he0in) )u4 and she 0as .ho4pin) t0enty to the doEen? I G(eat- Te((y nodded- all the ti4e a0a(e that he3d ha+e ne+e( d(ea4ed o/ apolo)isin) i/ he belie+ed the )i(ls 0e(e (eally o//ended? They )ot thei( .oats and e9ited into the .old? Cath(yn 0as t(ans/i9ed by the EBinspi(ed o(an)e sodiu4 t(a.e(s /(o4 the st(eet la4ps and she didn3t see the 4an )et out o/ a ta9i and 0al1 (i)ht past the4 into the .lub? They .a((ied on do0n the (oad /o( a bit- be/o(e +ee(in) o// a sidest(eet and into a stai(? The steps 0e(e 0o(n do0n as they .li4bed up one /li)ht- then anothe(? I ,he(e3s the )odda4n ele+ato(- huh Cath- Te((y .ou)hed in a putB on A4e(i.an d(a0l as they 4ounted step a/te( step to the topB/loo( /lat? I Too /u.1in (ed)e- ya .unt- Cath(yn said in a bad :.ottish a..ent- t(yin) to 4i4i. a ph(ase Johnny Cata((h had tau)ht he( in the .lub? :o the A4e(i.an sin)e( Cath(yn Joyne( /ound he(sel/ ba.1 at the /lat o/ 7ab 6i((ell? Lisa 0as i4p(essed by the siEe o/ 7ab3s (e.o(d .olle.tion? I =a)i.- she said- (u44a)in) th(ou)h the +inyl and CDs 0hi.h 0e(e (a.1ed on the 0alls? 7ab 6i((ell ne)le.ted to 4ention that 4ost o/ the4 0e(e so4ebody else3s- a dee2ay pal o/ thei(s- and he 0as
379

2ust loo1in) a/te( the4- and the /lat /o( that 4atte(? I Anythin) anybody 0ants tae hea(H # Cath Joyne(G Te((y shouts I incere 9o(eG # No Te((y- da4n youG :he ne+e( san) that /u.1in) son) any4o(e? Ne+e( sin.e Copenha)en? :he hated it? It 0as the one she3d .oB0(itten 0ith him. It 0as the one that e+e(y asshole see4ed to as1 he( /o(? Cha(lene 4a1es a plea- I No 4ai( dan.e 4usi. the no0- Lise- ah34 dan.ed oot e/ti( that /o(tni)ht in IbiEa? Find so4e indie stu//U- so4e (o.1 3n3 (oll? I A 0ee bit thin on the )(ound 0i that- 7ab .on/esses? I Cu((ent (o.1 3n3 (oll 4usi.3s shite? The only pe(son daein anythin) inte(estin thai( no0 is 6e.1- Johnny +entu(es? Cath(yn3s eyes 0iden? I Gad Jahnny- thet is so (i)htG Play 6e.1? 6e.1 is 2ust the .oolest spi(itG I Aye- that3s ba((y- Te((y a)(ees- 4o+in) o+e( to help Lisa sea(.h? He loo1s in the pile o/ se+enBin.h sin)les? I Goat it- he says- 4o+in) o+e( to the (e.o(d de.1? He puts the 4usi. on- and the /a4ilia( pub 2u1ebo9 (i// o/ $i,$o il(er 9ining /ills the ai(? I ,hat the /u.1 is thatH Lisa as1s- as 7ab sta(ts sni))e(in)? Johnny does too? I 6e.1? Je// 6e.1- Te((y 0ent- sin)in)- I Ha ho sil+ah lyBnin ? ? ? Cath(yn loo1s sole4nly at hi4? I That 0asn3t the 6e.1 0e had in 4ind- Te((y? I 7i)ht- Te((y says- de/lated- sittin) do0n on a beanba)? 7ab 6i((ell )ets up and puts on :hannon3s 9et the "usic )lay and sta(ts b(ie/ly dan.in) 0ith Cha(lene and Lisa- be/o(e )(abbin) Cha(lene3s hand and leadin) he( o+e( to a seat built into the bay 0indo0 o/ the /lat? Te((y /eels old and hu4iliated? To .onsole hi4sel/- he sta(ts (a.1in) out lines o/ .o.aine on a CD .ase? I Fu.1 o// Te((y- 0e3(e still oan the E +ibe the no0- 7ab says- tu(nin) /(o4 the 0indo0 seat in the /lat?

I :o4e ay us 1in handle ou( d(u)s- 6i((ell? Cath(yn is also .ontent to stay on the E +ibe? A/te( :hannon /inishes- so4eone puts a CD on? Cath(yn li1es the 4usi.- and she is up dan.in) 0ith Johnny and Lisa? This youn) )i(l see4s +e(y beauti/ul to the A4e(i.an sin)e(- but she is app(e.iati+e (athe( than inti4idated by it? The 4usi. is /antasti. to Cathiyn3s ea(s- beatyd(i+in) but soul/ul- and /ull o/ (i.h te9tu(es? I ,ho is thatH
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Johnny hands he( the CD .ase? :he (eadsF NB:IGNF Depa(tu(es I =ate ay Te((y3s he(e- Johnny says- then- noti.in) he( inte(est- sta(ts to (e)(et it? I Fae a)es a)o li1e- eh adds- )oin) into a sedu.ti+e- o//beat dan.e 4o+e4ent 0hi.h both Cath(yn and Lisa- to his (elie/- de.ide to .opy? 7ab 6i((ell is sittin) holdin) hands 0ith Gha(lene- pointin) out at A(thu(3s :eat? I It3s a beauti/ul +ie0- she says? I Dou3(e a beauti/ul +ie0- he tells he(? I :o a(e you- she (eplies? Te((y- 4ise(able on the beanba)s- o+e(hea(s this? 6i((ell3s )ot a ne0 )i(l/(iend? No0 0e3(e all /o(.ed to 0itness a si.1enin) display ay EBindu.ed s4a(4 as he )ets his hole /o( the /i(st ti4e in yon1s? 6e.1? ,ho the /u.1 0as thatH :o4e /u.1in A4e(i.an poo/? He .ould 1i.1 hi4sel/? 6ad (e/e(en.in) 0as an un/o()i+able .(i4e in so4e 5ua(te(s- 0o(se than no (e/e(en.in) at all? And the pla.e in the bi)- 0ide 0o(ld 0he(e it 0ould be 4ost ha(shly 2ud)ed 0ould be in the anal- student )a// o/ that .unt 7ab 6i((ell? It 0as /ast tu(nin) into a ni)ht4a(eTe((y thou)ht- as he /ineB.hopped the lines o/ .o1e- 0hi.h nobody but hi4 see4ed to 0ant? Cata((h has t0o bi(ds sla+e(in) all o+e( hi4- and 7ab 6i((ell3s playin) 4iste( /u.1in s4ooth be.ause he3s E3d up? Te((y ta1es b(utal sto.1 o/ 7ab3s student pad? The 0allpape(? The beanba)s? The plants? T0o /u.1in )uys in a /lat 0i plantsG 7ab 6i((ell- the soB.alled Hibs boy as 0ell? 6ut that .unt 0as al0ays 4ai( CC 6loo4s than CC:? In the Dist(i.t Cou(t o/ his 4ind 0he(e 7ab 6i((ell is on t(ial .ha()ed 0ith bein) a pon.y student .unt- Te((y is asse4blin) an absolute /u.1in) 0elte( o/ e+iden.e? Then he sees it? It3s the a(te/a.t 0hi.h di)s at hi4 at a ne0 le+el- 0ay beyond i((itation- slappin) hi4 into du4b/ounded out(a)e? It3s a poste( o/ a soldie( bein) shot 0ith the 0o(d ,HD /ollo0ed by a 5uestion 4a(1? That- to Te((y- 2ust su4s up that .unt 6i((ellF his politi.s- his a//e.tations- his stupid student shite? He .ould al4ost hea( hi4 no0- sayin) to that da/t 0ee .lubbe( lassie- ayeit 4a1es ye thin1- doesn3t it- then )oin) o// into one o/ his da/t le.tu(es about 0hate+e( )a(ba)e hi4 and his ne0 .olle)e .hu4s tal1ed about? :te+enson Colle)e 6i((ell- :te+enson Colle)e? And 7ab3s b(othe(? 6illy? His old best 4ate? Te((y 4inded the ti4e- the one and only ti4e- he3d )one into the 6usiness 6a(- and o1ay- he3d had a /e0 and he3d been in o+e(alls /(o4 daein) a bit o/ paintin)
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on the side? 6ut 36usiness3 had all but blan1ed hi4- )i+en hi4 a disdain/ul- I Te((y- /ollo0ed by a 3.o4e ba.1 0hen yi( bette( d(essed3 loo1 0hi.h had 4ade Te((y /eel li1e a total .unt in /(ont o/ the posh Geo()e :t(eet 0an1e(s 0ho d(an1 in the(e? Th(ou)h the d(u))y (e+e(b and NB:IGN3s 4usi.- he /an.ied that he .ould hea( the4 no0- 3I a.tually 1no0 5uite a lot o/ (athe( unsa+ou(y people in this to0n? Ha+e you 4et 6illy 6i((ellH The e9Bbo9e(H 7uns the 6usiness 6a(H Dou 4ust .o4e in and 4eet 6illy? He3s a .ha(a.te(?3 And the(e 0ould be 36usiness3 6i((ell- the /u.1in) 7e4b(andt Cid- sayin) in hushed tones to one o/ the 0ee lassies he e4ploys in o(de( to )et into thei( 1ni.1e(s- 3Loo1 a/te( 6(endan Halsey? A bi) noise in :tanda(d Li/e? Oh loo1the(e3s Ga+in Hastin)sG Ga+inG3 6i((ell? =a1in) a .unt o/ hi4sel/? He3d ne+e( be one o/ the4- and they3d ne+e( (eally a..ept hi4? Just standin) the(e and lettin) the4 pat(onise hi4- and hi4 not e+en seein) it- o( 0o(se- hi4 noti.in) it and puttin) it do0n to 3business3? The 6i((ells and thei( /u.1in p(etensions? 7ab 0as loo1in) at the poste( 0hi.h Cha(lene had ta1en a /an.y to? I It (eally says a lot that poste(- ehH she said- u()in) hi4 on in suppo(t? I Aye- 7ab (eplied 0ith less enthusias4 than he /elt she 0anted? He hated the poste( 0ith a +en)ean.e? It 0as put up by his /lat4ate- And(e0- and 7ab al0ays 2o1ed about that nauseatin) student le/tB0in) 1its.h but this one (eally did i((itate hi4? To 7ab it epito4ised that s4u)- .o4pla.ent (i)htBonness? Let3s 4a1e those da/t 0ee state4ents to sho0 ho0 p(o/ound and sussedBout 0e a(e? It 0as a load o/ bollo.1s? And(e0 0as o1ay- but he didn3t )i+e a /lyin) /u.1 about 0a(? It 0as 2ust a laEy 0ay to a po4pous .(ed? He tu(ned to see Te((y loo1in) at the poste( 0ith an e9p(ession o/ ab2e.t dis)ust- and he 1ne0 0hat Jui.e 0as thin1in) and he had an u()e to shout 3It3s no /u.1in 4ine- (i)ht?3 6ut Cha(lene 0as tu))in) at his hand and they 0e(e o// to his bed(oo4 to .uddle- sno)- 0hispe( se.(ets and i/ it led to the4 e9plo(in) ea.h othe( and sha(in) body /luids as 0ell- then that 0as o1ay by one 7obe(t :tephen 6i((ell? 7ab 6i((ell 0as en2oyin) the passi+ity- the /(eedo4 /(o4 the bu(den o/ bein) the un.ool .unt in the t(ansa.tion 0ho 0as al0ays pushin)?

:o4eti4es 0e still need a )ood pill to de.ondition us- loosen us up- )et (id o/ all the upti)ht shit? Te((y 0at.hed the4 )o th(ou)h to the bed(oo4 0ith so4ethin) app(oa.hin) (an1 despai(? Not only had 6i((ell and Cata((h hi2a.1ed
3*(

his ni)ht 0ith Cath(yn- they had (ubbed his nose in it by pointin) out that this p(iEe he .o+eted 0as a 4e(e bauble to be dis.a(ded 0hen b(i)hte( ones .a4e into +ie0? Cata((h 0as )oin) ho4e 0ith the t0o o/ the4 i/ he 0asn3t .a(e/ul? Cata((h in a th(eeso4e and Te((y on his pu//? Cata((hG The 0a(nin) bells (an) to a .(es.endo in Te((y3s head? :no(tin) one line- then anothe(- he /elt his hea(t (a.e and his spine /use into a (od o/ i(on? He stood up and bounded to the doo(- e9itin) into the hall0ay? A /e0 4o4ents late(- he (etu(ned d(aped in a 0hite du+et- a si4ila( .olou( and 4ate(ial to Johnny3s shi(t? :t(idin) onto the /loo(- Te((y slo0ly insinuated hi4sel/ behind Johnny and sta(ted doin) an e9a))e(ated pa(ody o/ Cata((h3s stylised dan.in)? I Te((y- 0hat a(e you doin)H Cath(yn lau)hed- as Te((y undulated- and Johnny loo1ed sel/B.ons.iously o+e( his shoulde(? Lisa sni))e(ed loudly li1e a 0ashin) 4a.hine in the spin .y.le? That Te((y 0as a (ad)e? I Jist (ippin oa/ a 0ee bit ay yi( style thai(- John 6oy- he s4iled at Johnny- 0ho /elt his lip in+olunta(ily .u(l do0n0a(ds? Cata((h had al0ays had p(oble4s 0ith Te((y3s bluste( and 0as instantly (e)(ettin) lettin) hi4sel/ be so e//o(tlessly /o(.ed into a subse(+ient (ole? He .ould /eel his .on/iden.e (unnin) do0n 0ith the E (ushes? All he .ould do 0as dan.e on and ponde( the dile44a? Cath(yn o( Lisa- Cath(yn o( Lisa ??? an old boile( but a .a(ee( o( a tidy youn) bi(d and a ba((y sha) ? ? ? that )lobal sta)e 0ith Elton and Geo()e 0as )ettin) /u(the( a0ay? 6ut he didn3t need sho0biE poo/s in to0? That so(t o/ .o4pany 0ould be 4o(e ha(4/ul to his .a(ee( than )ood? The teen 4a(1et 0as o/ p(i4e .onside(ation- that 0as the (eason 0hy so 4any 4e4be(s o/ boy bands stayed in the .loset? Fu.1 all that? Lisa o( Cath(yn ? ? ? That Lisa 0as a (ide? O1ay- he3d )i+e Cath(yn one- but she 0as de/initely past he( best? Lisa see4ed a bit o/ a .o.1tease 4ind you? Fu.1 it? Goin) /o( Cath(yn 0ould be puttin) the .a(ee( /i(st and ha+e the added bonus o/ lea+in) that /at .unt Jui.e Te((y to a ni)ht o/ /(ust(ation? 6ut Lisa 0as eyein) up Te((y 0ith 4u.h 4o(e inte(est than Johnny had .ottoned on to? He 0as 5uite /at- but the noseBhandsB/eet 4at(i9 she used in su.h .al.ulations added up to a 0ellBpa.1ed lun.hbo9? Cath(yn 0as 0ell into Johnny? Johnny 0as beauti/ul? I Johnny3s beauti/ul- she told Te((y i4pe(iously- as Johnny su.1ed on so4e 4u.us? :he put he( a(4s a(ound hi4- both o/ the4 obli+ious to
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Te((y3s teeth .hatte(in) to)ethe(? I ,anna 4a1e outH she 0hispe(ed in his ea(? J EhH Cata((h (eplied? ,hat the /u.1 0as she on aboutH I I )uess I 0anna sleep 0ith you? I 6a((y ??? eh- ba.1 at the hotel then but- ehH Cata((h su))ested- an9ious to sepa(ate he( /(o4 the pa.1? That 0ee Lisa- tidy- but )oin) no0he(e? :he3d still be 0aitin) /o( one a/te( he .a4e ba.1 /(o4 the /i(st tou( :tateside? He3d t(y and /it he( in? The .a(ee(- a/te( all- had to .o4e /i(st? I No ??? I don3t 0anna )o the(e- Cath(yn said? I Is the(e a spa(e (oo4H I Aye ? ? ? 7ab3s 4ate Andy3s (oo4 ? ? ? Cata((h thou)ht- 0ithout enthusias4? ,ho in thei( (i)ht 4ind 0ould 0ant to /u.1 on a 0o(nBout 4att(ess unde( the spun1Bstained du+et o/ a student 0an1e(3s bed(oo4 0hen they .ould be in a top suite at the 6al4o(alH The(e 0as only one possible ans0e(F a (i.h .o0 slu44in) it? Johnny had hea(d that so4e (oo4s in the 6al4o(al had 4i((o(s on the .eilin)? :till- as the Dan1s 0ould say- it 0as he( .all? They +anished th(ou)h to the hall0ay- lea+in) Te((y in a hi)h state o/ a)itation? Lisa loo1ed at hi4? I That3s 2ist you n 4e then- eh? Te((y loo1ed at he( pout- and beneath it he( 0hite top and bla.1 t(ouse(s? He /elt a hoa(se ti.1le in his th(oat? Te((y hated .hattin) up lassies 0hen he 0as E3d? The nud)eBnud)e- 0in1B0in1- .a((yBon (itualis4 o/ the 6(itish .hatBup .a4e easy to hi4- and he detested ha+in) its easy banalities unde(4ined and sub+e(ted by the e.stasy? The bullshit tapes had se(+ed hi4 0ell- and he didn3t 0ant the4 0iped .lean? In thei( absen.e he .ouldn3t thin1 o/ 0hat to say? I Ah used tae 0o(1 oan the 2ui.e lo((ies- he e9plained- I but this 0is 0ay ba.1 ??? Johnny and Cath(yn 0e(e loo1in) out the 0indo0 o+e( the in1y s1y? The(e 0as a beauti/ul display o/ sta(s? Johnny tu))ed on his 7e)al as he 0at.hed the4 t0in1le? Cath(yn loo1ed at Johnny- then the .i)a(ette- then the sta(s? I I )uess this is li1e so4e a(thouse e9istentialist 4o+ie 4o4ent- Johnny- she spe.ulated? Johnny nodded slo0ly- not loo1in) do0n at Cath(yn- 0ho 0as .u(led into his side? The sta(s 0e(e shi44e(in)- sendin) st(an)e .odes a.(oss the uni+e(se to ea.h othe(? I Don3t you thin1 the(e3s anythin) beyond thatH Cath(yn as1ed? I Ah3+e t(ied tae pa.1 it in be/o(e- bit it disnae (eally bothe( ays- eh no?
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Cath(yn 0asn3t hea(in) hi4? I I 2ust thin1 ? ? ? spa.e- she said d(ea4ily? Johnny loo1ed up at the s1y- then at the bu(nin) /a)? I Ci)a(ettes- he (easoned- al4ost to hi4sel/? O/ .ou(se Johnny app(e.iated the bliste(in) a((ay o/ sta(lit e9panse and the possibilities it see4ed to o//e(- but he de.lined to 4ention this to Cath(yn? It 0ould be too 4u.h hassle to tell he( that she 0as in a pa(t o/ :.otland 0he(e sha(in) d(ea4s 0as a bit li1e sha(in) needles@ it see4ed a )ood idea at the ti4e but it only se(+ed to /u.1 you up? 6esides- he 0anted a (ide? He tu(ned to he( and thei( lips 4et? It 0as a sho(t sta))e( to the 4att(ess and du+et- Cata((h hopin) that by the ti4e they )ot the(e his passion 0ould be su.h that beddin) do0n in the stale .(u4bs and spun1 o/ a student 0an1e( 0ould be an i((ele+ant .onside(ation?

In=$li9ht !?00 a4
The ai( hostess is loo1in) at 4e in a thinly dis)uised state o/ ho((o(? I34 a 4essF the di(ty- 4in)in) .lathesthe sha+ed head ;too 4u.h dust and di(t in the dese(t /o( the lo.1s< and the s4ell o/ 4eF (an.id .he4i.al dis.ha()e 4i9in) 0ith the ea(th o/ the Ne0 ,o(ld? :0eat and 4u.1 st(ea1s a.(oss 4y /a.e? The ai( hostess loo1s at a 0ellB4ani.u(ed .abin ste0a(d 0ho .at.hes si)ht o/ 4e and (olls his eyes? The poo( .unt sittin) ne9t to 4e is a(.hin) his body as /a( a0ay as he .an? I34 in no /it state to /ly? I34 in no /it state to do anythin)? The plane (oa(s /o(0a(d@ I34 pinned ba.1 in the seat and 0e3(e up in spa.e? I ,e had the spa.e- Helena- I hea( 4ysel/ say a .ouple o/ ti4es as the ai(.(a/t le+els out? The )uy ne9t to 4e (e.oils /u(the( in his seat? Anothe( ai( hostess .o4es o+e( to 4e? I A(e you o1ayH I Des? I Please be 5uiet? Dou3(e distu(bin) people? I :o((y? I34 t(yin) to 1eep 4y eyes open- althou)h I despe(ately need to sleep? As soon as they shut I34 in a 0o(ld o/ /u.1in) 4adness@ de4ons and se(pents su((oundin) 4e- the /a.es o/ the /o()otten and the dead .(o0din) inand I sta(t to (ant be/o(e /o(.in) 4ysel/ into a .ons.iousness 0hi.h is i4possible to 4aintain? I)no(ant and enli)htened? The i)no(ant 0ill ne+e( stop the enli)htened ta1in) d(u)s? Ah a)(ee 0i that auld Cant I44anuel and the Last Cannibals@ the pheno4enal and the nou4enal a(e the sa4e thin)- but ea.h pe(son .an only see the pheno4enal- th(ou)h ou( ain pe(spe.ti+es? That3s 0hy I (e4e4be( the best pie.e o/ ad+i.e 4y auld 4an e+e(
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)a+e 4eF ne+e( t(ust a teetotalle(? It3s li1e sayin)F I34 an i)no(ant- s4allB4inded 0an1e(? A0(i)ht i/ they t(ied to .o4pensate /o( the la.1 ay d(u)s 0i a b(illiant i4a)ination? 6ut i/ they ha+e one they 1eep it 0ellB hidden? ,ha ? ? ? ,HAT ??? a shado0 at 4y side? I ,hat 0ould you li1e to d(in1H the ste0a(d as1s? ,hatH Consu4e( .hoi.e +e(sus (eal .hoi.e? Thi(st is the issue- d(in1 is the need? ,hat to d(in1F .o//ee- tea- .o1e- Pepsi- 8i()in- :p(ite- diet- de.a/additi+es ??? by the ti4e you3+e 4ade the to1en .hoi.e you3+e eaten up a bi))e( .hun1 o/ you( allo.ated th(ee s.o(e and ten than any d(u)s .ould ha+e? They t(y to .on you that 4a1in) that 1ind o/ .hoi.e day in- day out4a1es you /eel /(ee o( ali+e o( sel/Ba.tualised? 6ut it3s shite- a li/ebelt to stop us all /(o4 )oin) /u.1in 4ad at the luna.y o/ this /u.1edBup 0o(ld 0e3+e let the4 shape a(ound us? F(eedo4 /(o4 4eanin)less .hoi.e? I ,ate( ? ? ? sans )as ??? I .ou)h? At /i(st I34 thin1in) that I34 ba.1 the(e a)ain- and I /eel the a.id dust in 4y nasal .a+ities- on 4y lips- /a.e and hands- the st(an)e- .ool ai(- and /(o4 a distan.e the boo4 o/ the bass- and the +oi.esF 0hoops- sh(ie1s and 0hispe(s?

,HOOP 6ONG
6ut I34 on the plane 0ith the little bad bea(s T(yin) to oblite(ate 4y 4ind th(ou)h d(u)s? No0 it 0as .o4in) ba.1- the si.1ness- the pains- spas4s and .hills (i+allin) anythin) thou)ht up by the de4ons? 6ut they 1ept t(yin)- these little bea(s? One- pe(.hed on the seat in /(ont o/ 4e- is pa(ti.ula(ly pe(sistent?

DOA37E FACCIN OA7:- DA ,EE CANT DOA38E NI8I7 6EEN AND A:E- CA7L- NAE A:E TAE NAE CANT DE CANNAE CID A:- =ATE- ,E CEN DE? ,E CIN :=ELL DI7 FEA7- TA:TE DI7 FEA7 ,E CNO, DOA FO7 THE A:ELE:: G7APPIN- CO,A7DLD PIECE OF :HITE DOA A7E DE DIDNAE ,ANT TAE ,O7C- DI7 CO==IE FAITHE7 DIDNAE ,ANT TAE ,O7C
Oh 4y )od ? ? ? And one 0ee bea(3s nippin) at 4y hand- bitin) it- and it3s 4e- 0ith

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the li)hte(- I3+e been .li.1in) it th(ou)h ne(+es@ no /a) to li)ht- 2ust bu(nin) 4y hand 0ith the /la4e? I Nae /a)sH ,hai(e3s the /a)s ? ? ? I ,hat is 0(on)H The hostess says? I Got a .i)a(etteH I No s4o1in)G It3s a)ainst .i+ilBa+iation la0s- she says te(sely and V tu(ns a0ay? Fu.1in hell- I34 )oin) to die? This ti4e- I34 (eally )oin) to die? I 2ust .an3t en+isa)e a 0ay th(ou)h this? Ohhh ? ? ? No? Dou3(e not )oin) to die? ,e don3t die? ,e3(e i44o(tal? Li1e /u.1@ that3s 0hat 0e used to thin1? Na0- 0e /u.1in 0ell die a0(i)ht? It doesnae 1eep )aun oan? It ends? Gally?

(dinbur9h: &'otland #?2" a4 Ou( 6ona Fide Guests
Lisa 0as pleasantly su(p(ised to /ind out that Te((y 0as a b(illiant sha)? They3d been s.(e0in) 4ost o/ the ni)ht- but as they3d been doin) a lot o/ .ha(lie- they 0e(e unable to en2oy 4u.h postB.oital ha(4ony- 0(ithin) and s0eatin) in ea.h othe(3s a(4s- thei( hea(ts thuddin)? 6ut that Te((y 1ne0 0hat to do a0(i)ht and 0hen he )ot /ed up bein) in+enti+e- that bi) 1nob o/ his .ould pound you until you( ea(s bled? No0 she 0as on top o/ hi4- and- aye- he 0as a bit o/ a t0isted /at .unt- al0ays )oin) /o( he( a(se- she 1ne0 the type- but no 0ay 0as she ta1in) that thin) up the shitBtube? :he (a44ed he( /in)e( up his hole- to )et a (ea.tion? :he did that to 4ost )uys 0ho t(ied to bu4 he(- it soon 4ade the4 beha+e and t(eat he( li1e a lady? Te((y let out an a)onised sh(ie1- beyond desi(e o( elation- and his e(e.tion .(u4bled as he pushed he( a0ay /(o4 hi4- pain et.hed into his /a.e? I Ah ni+i( too1 you /o( the s5uea4ish type? Thou)ht ye 0i( ni.e n di(ty? Di//e(ent 0hen it3s yi( ain (in)- is it sonH Te((y 0as b(eathin) hea+ily- his eyes 0ate(in)? I Aye- no ni.e- is it- Lisa obse(+ed? I It isnae that- he )asped th(ou)h )(itted teeth- I it3s the 7o.1/o(ds- they3+e been )iein ays )yp /o( days? Te((y had to )et up and /ind so4ethin) to put on his piles? A/te( a 0hile he settled /o( so4e o/ Lisa3s Ni+ea handB.(ea4? It helped- but he .ouldn3t settle? They had anothe( line o/ .o1e? Te((y sta(ted (u44a)in) a(ound as he tended to do in people3s houses? As he )ene(ally ente(ed thei( ho4es 0ithout an in+itation and in the .o4pany o/ Post Ale.- he 0as .onditioned into beha+in) in the sa4e 4anne( on o..asions 0hen he 0as a bona /ide )uest? To his
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deli)ht he /ound an essay o/ 7ab 6i((ell3s /(o4 his .olle)e? He sta(ted to (ead it? This 0as so o+e( the top- it si4ply had to be sha(ed? Te((y de.ided to (ap on e+e(y doo(- sayin) it 0as i4pe(ati+e that people )ot up st(ai)ht a0ay- o//e(in) the /alse indu.e4ent o/ b(ea1/ast? He ban)ed on Johnny and Cath(yn3s doo( /i(st? I John 6oyG CathG Che.1 this ootG Johnny 0as both i((itated and )(ate/ul /o( Te((y3s inte(+ention? Aye- he3d 2ust )ot o// to sleep and he 0as .u(sin) the annoyin) /at .unt? 6ut on the othe( hand- Cath(yn had been at hi4 all ni)ht- and he .ouldn3t b(in) hi4sel/ to /u.1 he( a)ain? He su.1ed in a b(eath as she st(et.hed and tu(ned to hi4- he( eyes 0ide and lips 0et? I Johnny ? ? ? you a(e baaad ? ? ? she said- he( hand 0(appin) (ound his so/t .o.1? I Eh- 0e3d bette( 4a1e a 0ee 4o+e ? ? ? I ,hat about a 5ui.1ieH she 5uiEEed- b(ea1in) into a s4ile? A .(a.1 o/ li)ht illu4inated that al4ost t(anspa(ent s1eletal /(a4e o/ he(s? Johnny tensed in ho((o( and su.1ed ba.1 so4e 4u.us? The(e 0as a lot- and he .ouldn3t spit it out so he had to s0allo0? It 0ent do0n his th(oat li1e a pebble- .ausin) his eyes to 0ate( and his sto4a.h to tu(n o+e(? I A 5ui.1ie ? ? ? that 0o(d isnae in 4a di.tiona(y- he said- steelin) hi4sel/? I De dae it (i)ht- o( no at a0? Allo0in) he(sel/ a s4ile o/ en.ou(a)e4ent- Cath(yn loo1ed at the .lo.1 and as1ed- I It3s so da4n ea(ly ? ? ? 0hat does Te((y 0antH Johnny (u44a)ed- 0ith his /oot- in the botto4 o/ the bed? He /ound his unde(pants- sp(an) out o/ bed and put the4 on? I 6e so4e so(t ay s.a4 0i Te((y- he .onside(ed? Cath(yn didn3t 4ind )ettin) up? :he 0as an9ious to .a((y on the ad+entu(e? This .(appy bed 0as /ull o/ s.(at.hy .(u4bs and satu(ated 0ith thei( s0eat and body /luids? :he )ot d(essed slo0ly- thin1in) about as1in) /o( the sho0e(- but 4aybe it 0as bad p(oto.ol? Did they 0ash he(e in :.otlandH :he3d hea(d thin)s- but that 0as about Glas)o0? =aybe Edinbu()h 0as di//e(ent? I Dou 1no0- this t(ip has been an edu.ation- Johnny? I lea(nt that you )uys li+e in you( o0n 0o(ld? It3s li1e ? ? ? 0hat happens to you and you( /(iends is 4o(e

i4po(tant and 4o(e 0o(th tal1in) about than 0hat happens to the li1es o/??? :he /elt the 0o(d 34e3 /(eeEe on he( lips? Johnny /elt that he should lau)h dis4issi+ely o( be o//ended? He did neithe(- loo1in) at he( openB4outhed as he pulled on his 2eans? I It3s 2ust that 0hen you3+e done 0hat I ha+e- 0hen you3+e
390

de+oted you( li/e to ??? 0ell- that3s p(etty ha(d to ta1e ? ? ? Cath(yn said dist(a.tedly? I I 2ust 0ant to 4a1e thin)s as easy as I possibly .an /o( you- Cath(yn- Johnny said- .hillin) hi4sel/ by (e/le.tin) ho0 blandly sin.e(e he sounded? I That3s the ni.est thin) anybody said to 4e- she s4iled and 1issed hi4 on the 4outh? Johnny i)no(ed his sti//enin) p(i.1- )lad o/ Te((y3s se.ond hea+y 1nu.1leB(ap on the doo(? 7ab and Cha(lene 0e(e d(aped a(ound ea.h othe(- /ully .lothed- on the bed 0hen a 0i(ed Te((y .a4e in? I ,a1ey- 0a1ey- he shouted? I 6(e11ie3s (eadyG Te((y .ouldn3t hide his elation at seein) 6i((ell in that state o/ /ull d(ess? That .unt hadn3t )ot his holeG P(obably bo(ed the lassie tae sleep 0i his .olle)e tales? The au(al e5ui+alent ay that /u.1in dateB(ape d(u)- althou)h she3d 0a1e up 5ui.1 enou)h i/ 6i((ell t(ied tae )it he( 1e1s o//G 6uEEin) 0ith .o1e- Te((y stu.1 his hand do0n his 2eans and bo9e(s to /eel his o0n s0eaty ta.1le- 0hi.hhe .onside(ed- e+en a /ull .ha(lie session hadn3t di4inished? A di//e(ent sto(y he(e- 6i((ell- a di//e(ent /u.1in sto(y he(eG The /i(st /a.e 7ab 0anted to see 0hen he opened his eyes 0as the doEin) Cha(lene? :he 0as lo+ely? The last /a.e he 0anted to see 0as the ne9t one- Jui.e Te((y3s /at .hops 0hi.h a0aited hi4- shoutin)- I ,a1ey0a1eyG Te((y 0as st(uttin) a(ound the hall li1e an a.to( (ehea(sin) lines- 0hile Lisa 0as lau)hin) and 0(in)in) he( hands to)ethe( in anti.ipation- as the othe(s e4e()ed? I ,hat3s the sto(y he(eH Johnny as1ed? Te((y 0aited until e+e(ybody had )athe(ed (ound in blea(y .on/usion and then p(odu.ed the essay and be)an (eadin) it out loud? I Listen tae this? :te+enson Colle)e- =edia and Cultu(al :tudies- 7obe(t :? 6i((ell? "a, $e*s "a3ing +yes at "e by Lena >a+a(oni dis.ussed /(o4 a neoB/e4inist pe(spe.ti+e? Ha ha ha ha ??? dee1 this bit he(e ? ? ? in spite o/ he( 4ountin) a(ousal in the /a.e o/ the )(o0in) attentions /(o4 he( 0ouldBbe suito(- =s >a+a(oni 4aintains he( 4othe( as a .ontinuous (e/e(en.e point? E+e(y 4inute he )ets bolde( No0 he3s leanin on 4y shoulde( =a4aG He3s 1issin 4eG
391

This de.la(ation .onstitutes an e9.eptional display o/ siste(hood- illust(atin) a bond /a( beyond the 4othe(B dau)hte( inte(B)ene(ational (elationship? ,e lea(n at this point that the >a+a(oni .ha(a.te(- o( 4o(e a..u(ately (oice, t(usts he( 4othe( as a .on/idante in .i(.u4 ? ? ? I Lea+e it- Te((y? 7ab (ipped the pape(s /(o4 Te((y3s hand? Lisa 0as lau)hin) in )lee/ul dis)ust as she 0at.hed Cha(lene3s ado(in) eyes on 7ab? It 0as (epulsi+e? I An 3A plus3 n a0G PhoahG Te((y 4o.1ed? I Gold sta( /i( 7abG I That 0is )(eat thou)h- Cha(lene said to 7ab? I I )uess I ne+e( thou)ht that 4u.h about the .ontent o/ the ly(i.s in that nu4be( be/o(e- Cath(yn said? :he didn3t 4ean it to sound sa(.asti. but Te((y3s lau)hte( and 7ab3s tet.hy e9p(ession sho0ed he( it had .e(tainly been ta1en that 0ay? 7ab 5ui.1ly .han)ed the sub2e.t- s4ilin) at Cha(lene in sheepish- )(ate/ul a.1no0led)e4ent and su))estin) that they all )o to the .a/Q /o( b(ea1/ast- then a bee(? Te((y had al(eady unde(ta1en a syste4ati. audit o/ the .ontents o/ the /(id)e and the .upboa(ds in 7ab3s 1it.hen? I The only pla.e 0e3ll )it a bit ay nosh is the .a/Q? Ah 0is hu+in a loo1 at so4e ay the stu// you3+e )oat ben thai(e? It3s a (i)ht lesbian la(de( this- 7ab- it hus tae be said? T0o )uys li+in the)ithe(- eatin li1e thatH Phoah? I A(e you )aunny tal1 shite a0 day o( a(e 0e )aunny )o tae the .a/QH 7ab snapped? I I )uess Te((y .ould do both- Cath(yn 5uipped- to Johnny3s lau)hte(? I Fu.1 the .a/Q- 6i((ell- 4a appetite3s shot tae pie.es 0i these pills n that .ha(lie? Lit3s )it a /e0 bee(s inTe((y said- s4ilin) .oolly at Cath(yn? That .hee1y /u.1in Dan1ee .unt 0is )ittin intae the .(a.1? ,ell- she3d bette( no )et intae it too 4u.h at his e9pense o( she3d /u.1in 0ell )et it ba.1 ten/old? Nae /u.1in sta( t(eat4ent he(e? Lisa and Cha(lene nodded in a)(ee4ent- and Cath(yn and Johnny did too? Te((y d(an1 in the app(o+al? I 6a.on- e))- sausa)e- to4atay- 4ush(oo4 ? ? ? 7ab p(otested? I Fu.1 o//- 6i((ell- Te((y s.o//ed- I 0i( oa/ oo( tits he(e still- o( at least the hea+y0ei)ht .(e0 a(e- eh LeeE- he 0in1ed at Lisa 0ho )a+e 7ab a ha(d sta(e- I ??? it3ll be 4onths be/o(e 0e3(e (eady /i( solids? Cath(yn 0as espe.ially happy to .a((y on d(in1in)? :he put an a(4 a(ound Johnny? That boy .ould /u.1?

E+e(y ti4e she put he( hand on
39(

that p(i.1 in the ni)ht it had stood to attention? Then she 0as (i)ht on hi4- en.losin) hi4- pullin) hi4 into he( and he 0as )i+in) it to he( as thou)h his /utu(e depended on it? I Eh- you3+e )ot the )i) the ni)ht- 4ibbe ye need tae )it so4e 1ip- ba.1 at the hotel n that- Johnny +entu(ed? Cath(yn shi+e(ed inside? :he 0anted to 1eep )oin)? I I3+e )ot plenty o/ ti4e to )o /o( a )odda4n bee( /i(st? Don3t be su.h a d(a)- Johnny- she teased? I Jist sayin li1es- Johnny 4oped? He had to ad4it that he 0ould ha+e to (e.ha()e the batte(ies be/o(e )ettin) ba.1 into the s.(at.he( 0ith he(? The /u.1in (andy .o0 0ouldnae lea+e ays alaine a0 ni)ht- he (e/le.ted? I/ she 0anted that le+el o/ se9 all the ti4e- 0ell- apa(t /(o4 anythin) else- the(e 0as no 0ay he3d be able to 1eep up to pa.e 0ith the )uita(? Cont(a.ts 0ould ha+e to be si)ned sha(pish- be/o(e he 0as sha))ed a0ay to nothin)? I Aye- Johnny- dinnae be a /u.1in (ad)e? The lassie3s entitled tae a be++y 0hen she3s in :.otland- (i)ht CathH Te((y /elt li1e addin)- 3Espe.ially e/ti( spendin the ni)ht 0i a da/t 0ee .unt li1e you3- but he bit his ton)ue? 6esides- he had done al(i)ht? Lisa stood up and too1 his hand? I C34on- se9y- she lau)hed? Te((y pu//ed hi4sel/ up li1e a (ooste( and 4o+ed o+e( to the .o//ee table? 7ab 6i((ell /elt al4ost physi.ally si.1? That 4in)in /at 2a1ey .unt al0ays see4ed tae )et his /u.1in hole? He (e4e4be(ed Joanne- his old )i(l/(iend- tellin) hi4 that he( pal Alison 6(o)an said that Te((y 0as the best sha) she3d e+e( had? Jui.e Fu.1in Te((yG It be))a(ed belie/? I E(e.tion li1e one tin ay I(n 6(u stu.1 oan toap ay anothe(- Alison had told Joanne- 0ho )lee/ully passed the ne0s on to 7ab? The thin) 0as- at the ti4e- 7ab 4inded bein) pleased /o( his /(iend? He 0asn3t /u.1in pleased no0? I Thin) is but- 7ab- Te((y s4iled- (aisin) an eyeb(o0 and s5ueeEin) Lisa3s hand- I ah3+e )oat tae tell Ale. that ah .annae dae the 0o(1 0i u4 at the hotel? The 0indaes li1e? De )oat any bee( le/tH I Aye ? ? ? 7ab had plans /o( that .a((yBout- but he )uessed that it 0ould be /utile to lie as Te((y 0ould al(eady ha+e been th(ou)h e+e(y .upboa(d in the )a//- I ??? but it3s eh ??? And(e03s ? ? ? I ,i3ll /u.1in 0ell (epla.e it- 7ab? Cath3s )oat poppyG Te((y snapped in sta)ey out(a)e? I Deah- that3s .ool? I .an buy the d(in1s /(o4 you- Cath(yn +oluntee(ed? I Na0- ah didnae 4ean ? ? ? 7ab +ainly p(otested? The basta(d
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had )ot hi4 a)ain- 4ade hi4 loo1 petty? 7ab 6i((ell tu(ned in ti4e to .lo.1 Te((y3s )lee/ully sadisti. )(in? He had (eally 0anted to hit a .a/Q o( )et so4e /ood in /(o4 the )a(a)e and do a /(y? He 0asn3t hun)(y eithe(but his sto4a.h tended to )i+e up 0hat he d(an1 i/ the(e 0as no linin) o/ /ood in it? No0 they 0e(e o// out on the pish- headin) st(ai)ht out to Post Ale.3s and they 0e(e usin) his bee(? He3d t(y to )(ab a (oll en route. This thou)ht all but e+apo(ated- thou)h- a/te( he had one o/ the 1ille( lines o/ posh Te((y had (a.1ed up? Cath(yn 0as (elie+ed at this? He( eatin) diso(de(- aided by the pills and po0de(s- had (easse(ted itsel/ and she .ouldn3t handle the idea o/ /(ied /ood? 7ab 6i((ell3s atte4pts to te4pt he( 0ith his des.(iption o/ the :.ottish b(ea1/ast had 4e(ely (esto(ed he( d(ead o/ solids? I Ale.3s no )aunny be .hu//ed aboot this? ,a1in u4 up at this ti4e in the 4o(nin and tellin u4 eh3s 0o(1in) oan ehs ain ?? ? Johnny (easoned as the la)e( .lan1ed in the binline(s he .a((ied- I espe.ially as 0e3+e nae pu(ple tin? Ale.3 no be intae this .ontinental shite? I ,hi.h 0as pu(.hased by a .e(tain student pon.e na4ed 7obe(t :? 6i((ellG Te((y lau)hed- tensin) into se(iousness as they /la))ed do0n t0o o/ a )(oup o/ app(oa.hin) ta9is? I ,e3+e )oat a .ai((yBoot- Te((y- that3s a0 that he3ll be 0o((ied aboot- 7ab said- al4ost to hi4sel/? It had been a lon) ti4e sin.e Te((y had been up the to0n? He no(4ally ne+e( )ot /u(the( than Hay4a(1etand only that /a( in a blea(y state? The )ent(i/i.ation and .o44e(.ialisation o/ his .ity 0as doin) his head in? He loo1ed a.(oss at the ne0 /inan.ial dist(i.t and up Ea(l G(ey :t(eet? I ,hai(e the /u.13s Toll.(oss )oneH Nobody ans0e(ed and soon they 0e(e (endeE+ousin) at Ale.3s pla.e in the Dai(y .olonies? I Ja4boland- 7ab said- steppin) out o/ the ta9i? I Neat- Cath(yn (eplied? I No (eally? Te((y shot 7ab a loo1 o/ disapp(o+al? I :hut the /u.1 up aboot the /itba /o( a 4inute- ya bo(in .unt? It3s Hibees this- Ja4bos that- 0i you? Cath(yn3s no inte(ested? I Ho0 dae you 1enH Dou .annae spea1 /o( he(? Te((y let out a lon)- e9aspe(ated b(eath- then shoo1 his head? This .unt 6i((ell 0as a )lutton /o( punish4ent? He ne+e( 1ne0 0hen to )i+e up? ,ell- that didn3t 4atte(- .ause Jui.e Te((y 0ould slap the .unt do0n all day i/ he had to? :a+ou(in) a +esti)e o/ t0isted- pate(nalisti. a//e.tion- Te((y loo1ed at 7ab 6i((ell and Cath(yn in tu(n? ,hen he

39/

spo1e it 0as in .lipped but indul)ent tones? I 7i)ht- Cath? Hibe(nian Football Club? Hea(t o/ =idlothian Football Club? ,hat do these na4es 4ean to youH he as1ed? I I dunno ? ? ? she be)an? I Nothin)- he said .u(tly- tu(nin) to 7ab- 0ho 0as no0 loo1in) 5uite un.o4/o(table? I :o shut the /u.1 up- 7ab? I/ you please? 7ab 6i((ell /elt )utted? That .unt Te((yG That /u.1in ? ? ? I ,ell- I did noti.e Hibe(nian on 7ab3s bad)e- she said- pointin) at the .(est on 6i((ell3s a0ay st(ip? 7ab sa0 a sha(d o/ li)ht and (e.1lessly (ushed into it? I :ee- he said? That 0as the annoyin) )enius o/ Te((y? I/ you i)no(ed hi4- he 2ust 0al1ed all o+e( you? I/ you )ot into it 0ith hi4- you de4eaned you(sel/ by )ettin) do0n to the .unt3s le+el? And he al0ays e9.elled in dis)uisin) his pettiness as so4ethin) hi)he(? I I do be) yi( pa(don- 7obe(to? Cath(yn did noti.e the bad)e on that .olou(/ul- i/ no e9a.tly /ashionablest(ip that you3+e been 0ea(in) a0 ni)ht- so by a0 4eans please /eel /(ee tae )i+e us a0 a- 0hat 0ould you students .all itH ??? a (et(ospe.ti+e analysis ay the nineteen ninetyBone Lea)ue CupB0innin) season? O( 4ibbeas an alte(nati+e- he pulled an e9a))e(ated- .hee(y /a.e- I 0e .ould 2ust )o up and see Ale. and ha+e a 0ee d(in1? They 4ounted the steps to Ale.3s- and Te((y (apped on the doo(- 7ab stunned and silent behind hi4? Cath(yn 0as still a bit spa.edBout? The /ood- the d(in1- the pills- the .ha(lie and the sha))in) /(o4 Cata((h had le/t he( in a dislo.ated- sli)htly de(an)ed state? No0 a doo( 0as openin) at the top o/ a set o/ steps and a (edB/a.ed 4an appea(ed be/o(e the4? Cath(yn 0as (ou)hly a0a(e that he 0as the sa4e one 0ho 0as .leanin) he( 0indo0s yeste(day 0ith Te((y? He 0o(e a yello0 TBshi(t 0ith a 0ithe(ed plasti. .a(toon 4an on it? The shadeB0ea(in) 4an 0as in a bi) .a( 0ith an i4plausibly la()eBb(easted 0o4an .u(led unde( his a(4? One o/ his hands )(asped a /oa4in) )lass o/ bee(- the othe( 0as on the stee(in) 0heel? The(e 0as a /aded slo)an unde(neath itF I LICE =D CA7: FA:T- =D CHICC: HOT AND =D 6EE7 COLD? Post Ale. loo1ed in disbelie/ at thei( asse4bled (an1s- lettin) out a th(oaty in.o4p(ehensible sound? I Ahy ? ? ? yay ? ? ? Cath(yn .ouldn3t as.e(tain 0hethe( it 0as a )(eetin) o( a th(eat? I :hut yi( /u.1in 4ooth- ya 4oanin 2a1ey .unt- 0u+ )oat a .ai((yBoot he(e- Te((y shoo1 the bottles at Ale.? He nodded to Cath(yn? I Cath(yn /u.1in Joyne(- ya .untG
39)

Ale. loo1ed at Cath(yn- his blue eyes spa(1lin) in his dest(oyed (edBleadBpaint /a.e? Then he s0it.hed to the othe(s ? ? ? the usual .olle.tion o/ youn)ish 0aste(s and da/t 0ee lassies t(ailin) alon) in thei( 0a1e? ,hat the /u.1 0e(e they a/te(H His eyes settled on the .lan1in) binline(s? The .unts had d(in1 ? ? ? I Ale.- Cata((h said 4ee1ly- be/o(e )obbin) so4e snot o+e( the bal.ony? Post Ale. i)no(ed Johnny- i)no(ed the4 all? He 1ne0 to )o st(ai)ht to the sou(.e o/ any t(ouble- and e9a.tly 0he(e that sou(.e 0as? Loo1in) st(ai)ht at his 4ate- he a()ued in a lo0 4oan- I It3s no oan- Te((y- but he 0as al(eady 4o+in) into the house and sha1in) his head and Te((y 0as /ollo0in) hi4 in- I this ti4e ay the /u.1in 4o(nin? Pit the bee( in thai(e- he said pointin) at the /(id)e? I Ah sais stoap /u.1in 4oanin- Te((y lau)hed- handin) hi4 o+e( a bottle o/ bee(? He sta(ted issuin) the d(in1s and 4a1in) int(odu.tions? I Listen- 0hat aboot the 0indaesH Ale. as1ed? I Plenty ti4e /i( that? The boy3s )aunny be in the P=7 /i( a 0ee bit yit- Ale.? ,i 1in ta1e a day oa/ oan the pish? I ,u+ )oat tae dae this 2ob- Te((y? Ah34 tellin ye? I One day isnae )aunny 4a1e any /u.1in odds? A day /o( de4o.(a.y- Ale.- a day /i( the .o44on 4an? I No((ie3s li+elihoodG I One day- Ale.- then 0e blitE the 2oab? :oa1 up the Festi+al at4osphe(eG Dinnae be sae /u.1in hu4ptyG Git a bit ay .ultu(e intae they bones ay you(s- Ale.- that3s 0hat you need? Di( too .au)ht up in the philistine 0o(ld ay .o44e(.e- that3s you( p(oble4? A 0ee bit ay a(t /i( a(t3s sa1eG Ale. had al(eady opened a bee(- not bothe(in) to .he.1 the label? 7ab 6i((ell sat do0n a(ound the bi) tablepullin) Cha(lene onto his 1nee? He 0anted Te((y to (e)iste( that Ale. hadn3t e+en noti.ed that the bee(s 0e(e .ontinental la)e(s- but Te((y 0asn3t payin) attention? Lisa sat on a (i.1ety 1it.hen .hai( and loo1ed at Cha(lene .anoodlin) 0ith 6i((ell? :he 0as eatin) out o/ his hand? That lassie .ould be so undi)ni/ied? He 0as a pon.e- that 7ab? Not li1e Te((y? He 0as an ani4al? It 0as b(illiant? He had a )(eat pe(sonality as 0ell- no li1e so4e youn)e( laddies ye 4et? Lisa sat /o(0a(d and 0ed)ed he( le)s ti)ht to)ethe(? :he .ould /eel the th(ob 0he(e he3d /u.1ed he(? 6i) and ha(d? Des? Des? Des? The .o1e still buEEed in he( as she sipped at he( bee( and 4ade a sou( /a.e? It 0as pony- but she let it shi/t so4e d(e)s
39#

o/ po0de( /(o4 the ba.1 o/ the th(oat? Lisa 0anted to d(in1 so4e .o.1tails and then )o ba.1 0ith Te((y /o( anothe( session? He 0as into that Cath(yn Joyne( thou)h- you .ould tell? :he 0as o1ay- but she 0as an auld

boot and as s1inny as /u.1? Thinness loo1ed da/t on a 0o4an that a)e? :.(a))y? Cath(yn loo1ed at the t0o youn) :.ottish )i(ls and at /i(st she thou)ht o/ =a(leen ,atts- the blonde .hee(leade( ba.1 at s.hool in O4aha? Then =a(leen be.a4e not one- but t0o blondes- the ones 0ho loo1ed up at he( /(o4 the bed /(o4 eithe( side o/ Lo+e :yndi.ate3s La0(en.e Nettle0o(th? The 4an 0ho 0as he( /ian.Q? Then that i4a)e /aded and in he( 4ind3s eye the youn) Edinbu()h )i(ls be.a4e a +ision o/ 0hat she had lost? ,hen E3d last ni)ht she app(e.iated thei( youth- no0 she 0as .o+etin) it? :he 0anted to th(o0 up e+e(ythin) she had .onsu4ed? And yet And yet last ni)ht had been so )ood- it all 2ust didn3t (eally see4 to 4atte(? It .a4e to Cath(yn in a /lashF she had to )et out 4o(e? No0 she 0as tal1in) to Lisa- about so4ethin) she3d ne+e( tal1ed about be/o(e? The dis.ussion had )one /(o4 4usi.- to /ans- to obsessi+e /ans? I :o you hud a stal1e(- CathiynH That 4ust3+e been s.a(y as /u.1- Lisa said? I Deah- it 0as p(etty a0/ul at the ti4e- I )uess? I He 4ust3+e been a /u.1in sad .ase- Gha(lene said 0ith (eal bitte(ness? I In a 0ay it is sad- I (ead a laht about it 0hen I had 4ine? It3s a sha4e- they (eally need t(eat4ent- Cath(yn said? Te((y sno(ted in .onte4pt at this .o44ent? I Aye- n ah 1en the /u.1in t(eat4ent they need n a0F a /u.1in bu(st 4ooth? :ad /u.1in .unts? That3s the /u.1in t(eat4ent ah3d /u.1in 0ell )ie they .unts? I They .an3t help it- Te((y- they be.o4e obsessed- Cath(yn (epeated? Te((y hissed in dis4issal? I That3s a load ay A4e(i.an shite? Ah be.o4e obsessed 0i people- he thu4ped his o0n .hest? I E+e(y .unt does? :o 0hatH A0 ye dae is hu+ a 0an1 aboot the4- then ye be.o4e obsessed 0i so4ebody else? ,hat so(t ay /u.1in (ad)e 0ants tae stand a(oond ootside hooses in the .auld st(eet 0aitin /i( so4ebody they dinnae 1en tae .o4e ootH Ans0e( ays that i/ yis 1in- he loo1ed .hallen)in)ly a(ound the table? I Cin yis /u.1? These .unts need a /u.1in li/e- he said dis4issi+ely- slu))in) ba.1 so4e bee(? He tu(ned to Ale.- 0ho 0as tellin) 7ab about so4e disability pension he 0as entitled to? I Dou i+i( been stal1ed- Ale.H
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I Dinnae be stupid- Ale. (eplied 4o(osely? I :tal1ed by a /e0 /u.1in publi.ans that3+e been da/t enou)h tae )ie ye a slate- eh Ale.H 7ab +entu(ed? Ale. shoo1 his head- 0a+in) his bee( a(ound to 4a1e a point? I A0 that stu//- it3s a0 A4e(i.an- he ad+an.ed- then in sudden (e.o)nition tu(ned to Cath(yn- I nae o//en.e li1e- hen? Cath(yn s4iled .a)ily? I None ta1en? Te((y 0as .onside(in) this point? I Ale.3s no 0(on) but- Cath- it3s the /u.1in Dan1s thit .ause a0 the bothe( in the 0o(ld the day? Ah34 no sla))in you oa/ o( no0t li1e that- but it hus tae be ad4itted? Ah 4ean- a0 that se(ialB1ille( shite that they hu+- o0e( thai(F 0hat so(tay 0ey is that tae beha+eH Te((y .hallen)ed? I :o4e sad)lo(yBhuntin .unts t(yin tae 4a1e a na4e /i( thu4sels? Lisa s4iled- and loo1ed at 7ab- 0ho see4ed as i/ he 0as )oin) to say so4ethin)- but instead had de.ided to t(y and )et a stain out o/ his st(ip? I It 0idnae happen in :.otland- Te((y .ontended? I Na0 but- 7ab inte(2e.ted- I that Dennis Nilsen boy 0is :.ottish- n he 0is the bi))est e+e( se(ial 1ille( in 6(itain? I ,is eh /u.1 :.ottish ? ? ? Te((y be)an- but the .on/iden.e ebbed /(o4 his +oi.e as (e.o)nition bit ho4e? I Aye eh 0is- eh 0is /ae Abe(deen- 7ab stated? They loo1ed a(ound at ea.h othe(? I Eh 0is- Johnny a)(eed- and Cha(lene- Lisa and Ale. nodded in .on/i(4ation? Te((y 0asn3t )oin) to be outdone? I A0(i)ht then- but noti.e that eh didnae 1ill any .unt in :.otland- it 0is 0hin eh 4o+ed tae London eh sta(ted a0 that- Te((y s4iled? I :oH Lisa said- sittin) up in the .hai( and sta(in) at hi4? I :o eh 0is .o((upted by the En)lish? :.otland hud no0t tae dae 0i it? I Ah dinnae see ho0 ye 1in say that 0hin the boy 0is b(ou)ht up in Abe(deen- Johnny shoo1 his head and su.1ed ba.1 so4e snotte(? The .ha(lie 0as /u.1in) his bea1 (i)ht up? It see4ed to st(ea4 out the /(ont and be blo.1ed up the ba.1? Ho0 0as that possibleH This /u.1in nose? I Abe(deen but- Te((y s.o//ed I ,hat else 1in ye e9pe.t /ae they .untsH They sha) thi( /u.1in li+esto.1 up thai(e- so thi( no )aunny hu+ any (espe.t /i( people- no0 u( theyH Johnny 0as st(u))lin) 0ith his b(eathin) and Te((y3s line o/ thou)ht? I ,hat dae ye 4ean by thatH
39*

I ,ell- thin1 aboot itF a .unt li1e that )oes tae the bi) .ity- thi(3s nae sheep tae abuse- so eh 2ist tu(ns oan people n sta(ts abusin thai4? It3s the 4ode(n so.iety- Te((y a()ued- I littin they .unts t(a+el- ta1in thu4 ootay thi( natu(al habitat- it )its thu4 a0 .on/used- he sh(u))ed- b(ea1in o// and noddin) to Lisa? I Any0ey- this

.on+e(sation3s )ittin a 0ee bit dep(essin? :o ah thin1 it3s ti4e /i( anothe( 0ee poodle3s le)- he said- p(odu.in) a 0(ap o/ .o.aine /(o4 his po.1et? 7ab and Johnny sta(ted spittin) out the (i// /(o4 The +ye of the Tiger as Te((y sta(ted .hoppin) out 4o(e lines o/ .o1e? At that point the lette(bo9 (attled and they loo1ed a(ound the table at ea.h othe( in pa(anoiaespe.ially Ale.? I Put that shite a0ayG Ah34 no 0antin d(u)s in 4a hooseG he 0hispe(ed 0ith u()en.y? Te((y shoo1 his head and (an his hand th(ou)h his .o(1s.(e0 hai(? It 0as hea+y 0ith s0eat? I It3s 2ist the /u.1in post- ya da/t .unt? You should 1en that? This- he obse(+ed- loo1in) at the lines o/ .o.aine- I is only a 0ee bit ay pe(sonal? =o+e 0i the ti4es Ale.- dinnae be su.h a dinosau(G It 0as indeed the 4ail- and Ale. 0ent th(ou)h to pi.1 it up- )(u4blin)- I ,ell dinnae e9pe.t 4e tae tou.h that shite- it3ll 1ill yis- he 0heeEed- e9itin) as they lau)hed- nud)in) ea.h othe(- noddin) at the .ans and bottles st(e0n all o+e( the 1it.hen? They .la44ed up li1e nau)hty 1ids in the p(esen.e o/ a tea.he( as Ale. headed ba.1 in- bla.1B/(a4ed (eadin) spe.s on- s.(utinisin) a (ed phone bill? I Ah need tae /inish that 2oab /i( No((ieTe((y- he 4oaned? I :oon- Ale9is- soon? They sno(ted anothe( line o/ posh- all e9.ept Ale.? The .o.aine see4ed to .han)e the di4ensions o/ the 1it.hen? It had /i(st see4ed inti4ate and 0el.o4in)- e+en in its s5ualo(- but no0 it 0as as i/ the 0alls 0e(e in.hin) in as they the4sel+es e9panded out0a(ds? E+e(ybody 0as tal1in) o+e( e+e(yone else in a .a.ophony o/ noise? The di(ty- un0ashed dishes- the s4ells o/ stale /(ied /ood- it all )(e0 int(usi+e and dist(a.tin)? They de.ided to hit the Fly3s /o( a /e0 bee(s?

*an9)o) Air2ort: Thailand !? 0 p4
6an)1o1? The 0o(st is still ahead- a te((i/yin) thou)ht? 6ut the 4adness has abated? The )i(ls in the )i/t .ounte( at the ai(po(t loo1 /antasti.- bette( than any o/ the 0ho(es do0nto0n? I 0onde( ho0 4u.h they )et paid /o( that? Thei( s.(ubbed de.en.y? The 0ay they s4ile all the ti4e? A(e they happy- o( is it 2ust A4e(i.an .usto4e(B.a(e s4a(4 at 0o(1H E4otional labou(- you )et all that in the se(+i.eBindust(y 0o(ld 0e li+e in? :4ile- thou)h you( hea(t is b(ea1in)? ,e3(e all li1e the sla+es in the /ields no0- puttin) on the /(ont that says 3e+e(ythin)3s /ine- boss3 0hile 0e 0o((y about ho0 to 4a1e ends 4eet? Dou .o4e out o/ Aust(alia- t(a+el no(thB0est then 0estB0est and it all )ets u)lie(? I )ot the lassie to sin) that 6o0ie (e/(ain 3d(a0 the blinds on yeste(day and it3s all so 4u.h s.a(ie(3 /o( that t(a.1 I3+e been t(yin) to do? It3s shit but? =y 4usi. is shite? I don3t /eel it any 4o(e? This is the 4ost sensible thou)ht I3+e had in a)es- 0hi.h 4eans that I34 )ettin) it to)ethe( a bit no0? ,e a(e the H=- the H=FC? ,e 0on the /u.1in .up and I 4issed it? :ydney but- anothe( 0o(ld? Fu.1 the :.ottish Cup@ pullin) (i)ht up into the s5ua(e bet0een the4 and lettin) (ip on the sound syste4? "i-mag o( 4aybe it 0as D8 .a((ied the a(ti.le HA: NB:IGN LO:T THE PLOTH Lost the plotH Ne+e( /u.1in 0ell had it to lose? As i/ any .unt .a(ed? That3s the beauty o/ bein) a dee2ay- you 4ay ha+e you( a.olytes but you a(e e4inently (epla.eable? In /a.t- you3(e 2ust holdin) ba.1 those 0ho ha+e 4o(e to say- but it3s the sa4e 0ith a(tists- 0(ite(s4usi.ians- T8 pe(sonalities- a.to(s- business4en/00

politi.ians ? ? ? you .a(+e out you( 0ee ni.he and you 2ust sit the(e- )u44in) up the so.ial and .ultu(al pipelines? NB:IGN .unts it up in IbiEa? NB:IGN top .ane(? Fu.1in shite? All the dan.e p(essF /u.1in 4ytholo)isin) shite? I used to lo+e it all as 0ell- I (eally did? Helena3s so(ted this out /o( 4e? Helena- I .an3t stop thin1in) about he( no0- 0hen it3s too late? The sto(y o/ 4y li/e? Ca(e /(o4 a/a(? Pine /(o4 a distan.e? Pled)e all the thin)s I34 )oin) to say to he( until she3s in the sa4e (oo4 as 4e 0hen I .an only say so4ethin) bland? I need to tell he( I lo+e he(? I need a /u.1in phone? The(e3s still the de4on3s /a.e and the little bea(s that dan.e a(ound 0ith the a..o(dions- and I34 t(yin) to e9plain to the4 that I need 4y 4obile phone to phone 4y )i(l/(iend and tell he( I lo+e he(? A 0o4an sittin) opposite 4e holdin) a .hild (ea.hes o+e( and sha1es 4e? I Please be 5uiet ? ? ? you3(e /(i)htenin) hi4 ? ? ? :he tu(ns to the ad+an.in) hostess? Thi(tyB/i+e and I34 al(eady !ersona non grataF /u.1ed- past it- a non pe(son? =y needs a(e nothin)? The 1id the(e- he3s the /utu(e? And 0hy notH I I34 so((y- I plead- I I34 a .o0a(d- I3+e been (unnin) a0ay /(o4 lo+e? I need to phone 4y )i(l/(iend- I need to tell he( I lo+e he( ??? I loo1 a(ound at all the ho((i/ied /a.es- the O o/ the ai( hostess3s 4outh? I thin1 that i/ it 0as an A4e(i.an /il4 they3d all be .hee(in) and 0hoopin) no0? In (eal li/e they 2ust thin1- ai( (a)e- a nutte( on boa(d 0ho .ould /easibly 2eopa(dise all ou( /u.1in) e9isten.es e+en thou)h it 4ay 2ust be (elated to the /a.t that 0e3(e s5uashed up li1e sa(dines ba.1 he(e and 0e lose ten /eet pe(

yea( in the se.ondB.lass to the /i(stB.lass and i/ I p(e.ipitated a .(ash- 1illin) 3so4e o/ the /inest business b(ains3 up /(ont- 0ould .apitalis4 )(ind to a halt- 0ould the 4ultinationals .(u4bleH O/ .ou(se- 2ust li1e the(e 0ould be no 4o(e dan.e 4usi. 0ith the de4ise o/ NB:IGN E0a(t? A )i(l is tal1in) to 4e? I I/ you don3t be 5uiet and 1eep you( seat belt /astened and sit still- 0e3ll be /o(.ed to apply physi.al (est(aints- I thin1 she says? I thin1 that3s 0hat she said? =aybe I34 2ust )iein) 4y 4ind a t(eat? Anothe( .(ap ai(plane 4eal- anothe( 6loody =a(y to stop the sha1es? The +oi.es in 4y head a(e still the(ebut a(e less th(eatenin)- li1e t(ippin)- speedin) /(iends .hattin) in the ne9t (oo4- 4aybe 4a1in) one o( t0o thou)htless but not (eally 4ali.ious .o44ents? I don3t 4ind this 1ind o/ insanity- it .an be 5uite .o4/o(tin)?
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I34 on the plane a)ain? Goin) ho4e? All those bodies? No- not anothe( /une(al? Your mother seems to be fearing the %orst. The 0o(st? I don3t 1no0 about the 0o(st? Des I do? Gally died? Then .a4e the se.ond sho.1- it should ha+e been a 4ino( one but it 0asn3t? The ne0s 0as that on the day be/o(e Gally3s death- Pol4ont had been +i.iously atta.1ed in his o0n hoose? He ba(ely su(+i+ed? ,e ne+e( 1ne0 about this at the ti4e? Aye- it should ha+e been a 4ino( sho.1- be.ause 0e didn3t )i+e a /u.1 about Pol4ont- but it see4ed so ine9t(i.ably lin1ed tae Gally3s de4ise? The(e 0as a lot o/ (u4ou(s )oin) a(ound? It 0as a st(an)e /e0 days leadin) up to Gally3s /une(al? ,e see4ed to need to belie+e that Gally had nothin) to do 0ith the assault on Pol4ont- and e+e(ythin) to do 0ith it at the sa4e ti4e? It 0as as i/ both thin)s 0e(e (e5ui(ed to so4eho0 +indi.ate his li/e- o( 4o(e li1ely his death- in ou( eyes? O/ .ou(se- you .ouldn3t )et both- you .ould only )et the t(uth? Nobody see4ed to 1no0 in those .on/used days- 2ust 0hat e9a.tly had happened to Pol4ont? :o4e say that he 0as shot in the ne.1- othe(s that he had his th(oat .ut? ,hate+e( it 0as- he su(+i+ed the atta.1 and spent so4e ti4e in the hospital? The 0ound had de/initely been in the th(oat- be.ause his +oi.e bo9 0as shatte(ed and- in o(de( to spea1- he had one o/ those /unny thin)s installed- the ones that you p(ess? The Dale1- 0e .alled hi4? Ob+iously- the /in)e( 0as pointed at Gally- but I 1ne0 the 0ee 4an didnae ha+e that in hi4? Fo( 4y 4oneyit had to be one o/ Doyle3s 4ob? They 0e(e +olatile .unts and no 4atte( ho0 ha(d you belie+e you a(e- 2ust be.ause you3(e in that .o4pany- you3(e a.tually one o/ the 4ost +ulne(able people on Ea(th- 0hen the /allBout .o4es? As it al0ays does? Pol4ont .ould ha+e 0ound up one o/ the4 /o( any nu4be( o/ (easons@ )(assin) up(ippin) o//- shittin) out- all +alid (easons in thei( boo1 /o( e9t(e4e .hastise4ent? :ho(tly be/o(e the /une(al I )ot a phone .all /(o4 Gail? I 0as /labbe()asted 0hen she said that she 0anted to see 4e? :he pleaded- and I didn3t ha+e the hea(t to say no? I 0as Gally3s best 4an- she said? Then she appealed to 4y +anity and sense o/ sel/ by sayin) that I 0as al0ays /ai(- that I ne+e( 2ud)ed people? This 0as patent bullshit- but 0e al0ays li1e to hea( 0hat 0e 0ant to hea(? Gail 0as an a.e 4anipulato(- and she did it 0ithout (ealisin)- al0ays the best 0ay? I 4ind the 0eddin)? I 0as a bit )(een /o( the best 4an3s spee.h but
/0(

the olde( .unts indul)ed 4e? The(e 0as an u)ly- unspo1en .onsensus- o( 4aybe it 0as 2ust 4y pa(anoia- that Te((y 0ould ha+e been the best 4an /o( the 2ob? =o(e .on/ident- 0o(ldly- that bit aulde(- a 4a((ied 4an 0ith a 1id on the 0ay? Fu.1 1no0s 0hat I said- I .an3t (e4e4be(? Gail loo1ed beauti/ul- she loo1ed li1e a (eal 0o4an? Gally- by .ont(ast- see4ed to sh(in1 /u(the( in the 2ay1it- 0ith the (idi.ulous 1ilt? He loo1ed about t0el+e yea(s old instead o/ ei)hteen- no that lon) oot the DOs? The 0eddin) photos said it all- a .o4plete /u.1in 4is4at.h? The(e 0e(e so4e dod)y .unts on he( side at the (e.eption- a Doyle siste( and a .ouple o/ .unts 0ho I didn3t 1no0 but 0ho hun) aboot 0ith DoEo? I still ha+e so4e o/ the 0eddin) pi.tu(es? The Doyle siste( and =a))ie O(( 0e(e the 4aids o/ honou(? I loo1 about /ou(teen tae Gally3s t0el+e- 0ee laddies 0ith ou( 4as- o( bi) siste(s at any (ate? I 0as .hu//ed be.ause I 0as the(e 0ith A4y- /(o4 the s.hool? I lusted a/te( that lassie /o( t0o yea(s- then 0hen I 0ent oot 0ith he( I I thin1 the 0eddin) 0as ou( se.ond date I all I .ould do 0as loo1 /o( /la0s? On.e I3d )ot a sha)- that 0as it? The(e I 0as thou)h- s0annin) a(ound 0ith the s5uea1y a((o)an.e o/ the 2ustB hadBhisBhole 1id- as i/ I3d in+ented se9? Gail stole the sho0? :he 0as se9y? I en+ied Gally? Just out the ni.1 and )oin) to bed e+e(y ni)ht 0ith a lassie 0ho 0as ei)hteen )oin) on t0entyBone? E+en thou)h the shot)un 4a(1s 0e(e al4ost +isible on the side o/ his head- Gail 0asn3t sho0in)? Te((y3s 0i/e- Lu.y- she 0as up the sti.1 at the sa4e ti4e? I 4ind o/ Te((y and he( ha+in) a blaEin) a()u4ent and he( )oin) ha4e in a .ab? I thin1 Te((y 0ent a0ay 0ith the Doyle siste( late( on? I 0anted to 4eet Gail in a ba(- but she said she (eally needed to tal1 in p(i+ate- and she .a4e to 4y /lat? I 0as .on.e(ned? I 0o((ied that i/ she 0anted 4e to /u.1 he(- I 0ouldn3t be able to say no?

In the e+ent- I shouldn3t ha+e been bothe(ed? Gail 0as a 4ess? :he loo1ed te((ible? All he( +i+a.iousness and a))(essi+e se9uality had d(ained a0ay? He( hai( 0as lan1- the(e 0e(e .i(.les unde( he( eyes? He( /a.e loo1ed s0ollen and pu//y- and he( body loo1ed shapeless in the ba))y- st(et.hed- .heapo leisu(e0ea( she 0o(e? I suppose it 0as ha(dly su(p(isin)F she3d lost he( dau)hte(3s /athe( and no0 he( boy/(iend had been shot in the ne.1? I Ah 1en ye 4ust hate 4e- Ca(l- she said? I said nothin)? It 0ould ha+e been pointless to deny it- e+en i/ I had been o/ a 4ind to 0ant to t(y? :he .ould see it 0(it la()e- all o+e( 4y /a.e? All I sa0 0as 4y best 4ate lyin) still on the )(ound?
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I And(e0 0isnae a saint- Ca(l- she pleaded? I Ah 1en ye 0e(e ehs /(iend- but thi(3s a side tae people in (elationships ? ? ? I Nane ay us a(e saints- ah said? I Eh hu(t 0ee Ja.5ueline badly that ti4e ??? eh 0ent 4ad that ni)ht- she bubbled? I loo1ed .oldly at he(? I ,haes /ault 0is thatH :he ne+e( hea(d 4e- o( i/ she did- she .hose to i)no(e the 5uestion? I =e n =.=u((ay ? ? ? 0e 0e(e /inished? That 0is the da/t thin)? It 0is o+e(? And(e0 didnae need tae dae that ? ? ? shootin hi4 in the th(oat ? ? ? I /elt a d(y .ho1in) sensation in 4y o%n th(oat? I And(e0 didnae dae anythin)- I (asped- I and e+en i/ eh did- dinnae /latte( yi(sel/ that eh did it /o( you? Eh did it /o( him, .ause ay the 0ay that =.=u((ay .unt /u.1ed thin)s up /o( hi4G Gail loo1ed at 4e- disappoint4ent et.hed on he( /a.e? I3d ob+iously let he( do0n- but I 0as annoyed that she should ha+e any /u.1in e9pe.tations o/ 4e in the /i(st pla.e? The 7e)al she had lit up see4ed to ha+e been s4o1ed in t0o inhalations and she )ot out anothe(? :he o//e(ed 4e one and I (eally 0anted a /a)- but I said nobe.ause ta1in) anythin) o// that /u.1in) .o0 0ould ha+e been an insult to Gally? I sat the(e unable to belie+e that I thou)ht I 4i)ht end up in bed 0ith that /u.1in) 4onst(ous entity? I thou)ht about he( and =.=u((ayPol4ont- the Dale1? I :o ye pa.1ed hi4 in n a0? De 4ust be sha))in so4e othe( sad .unt- ehH One ay the Doyles- 0is itH Did ye )it hi4 tae dae Pol4ontH I Ah shouldnae hu+ .o4e ? ? ? she said- )ettin) up? I Aye- (i)ht ye shouldnae u+? Jist )it the /u.1 ootay he(e- ya /u.1in 4u(de(in bit.h- ah snee(ed- as she le/t? Ah hea(d the /(ont doo( shut and /elt a su()e o/ (e)(et and sp(an) to 4y /eet? F(o4 the landin) I sa0 he( belo0- the top o/ he( head disappea( (ound the stai( bend? I Gail- I shouted- I I34 so((y- (i)ht? I hea(d he( heels .li.1 on the stone steps? Then stop /o( a se.ond- then .a((y on? That 0as as 4u.h as she 0as )ettin)?

(dinbur9h: &'otland 10.17 a6. Doun) Cunts
On ente(in) the Fly3s Oint4ent publi. house- Ale. noted one o/ his d(in1in) pa(tne(s up at the ba(? I Ale.- Ge((y Do0 nodded- 0ith a sli)ht /(o0n as he sa0 the .(o0d pile in behind his /(iend? Ge((y 0as oldBs.hool to the e9tent that he (esented any youn) .unts in a pub? The de/inition o/ 3youn) .unts3 .o+e(ed e+e(ybody youn)e( than hi4sel/F i?e?- unde( /i/tyBse+en? They had si4ply not se(+ed thei( app(enti.eship in d(in1 and the(e/o(e .ouldn3t be t(usted to beha+e 0ith di)nity 0hen into9i.ated? Not that Ge((y o( Ale. .ould eithe(- but that 0asn3t the point? 7ab 6i((ell and Jui.e Te((y 0e(e /i(st up to the ba(- the latte(3s .o//e(s s0elled by anothe( loan /(o4 Cath(yn? I Fu.1in 6at4an and 7obin he(e .a4e (oond /i( ays this 4o(nin- Ale. in/o(4ed Ge((y- thu4bin) at 7ab and Te((y?

I ,ell that 4ust 4a1e you the Jo1e( then- Ale.- o( that .unt =( T0oBFa.e- Te((y lau)hed? I I/ ah hud a /u.1in .oupon li1e you(s- Ale.- ah3d 0ant a se.ond /a.e n a0- 7ab 6i((ell sni))e(ed- and Te((y sta(ted )u//a0in)? I A0(i)ht- ya .hee1y .unts- )it the /u.1in nips in /i( 4e n Ge((y he(e- Ale. slu((ed- the /e0 bee(s he3d had sto1in) up the p(e+ious day3s d(in1s in the al.oholBtoBu(ine p(o.essin) plant that 0as Ale.- all the 0ay ba.1 to the 2#th o/ Au)ust- $&$? I Cannae 4a1e ye oot thai(- Ale.? Is that you bein the 7iddle( no0H Te((y )a))ed 0ith lau)hte(? I Dou3(e the /u.1in 7iddle(- son? :o sol+e this puEEle? T0o hal/s ay spe.ial and t0o 0his1ies? G(ouse- Ale. de4anded? Te((y 0as still a4used? I :o ah34 the 7iddle( I that 4ust 4a1e you that =( F(eeEe .unt- Ale.?
/0)

7ab .ut in- I O( =( AntiBF(eeEe- .ause eh3d /u.1in 0ell )uEEle that i/ eh )oat the .han.eG As Te((y e9ploded a)ain- 7ab 0as en2oyin) the /eelin) o/ solida(ity 0ith hi4- e+en i/ it 0as at Ale.3s e9pense? It se(+ed to (e4ind hi4 that he and Te((y 0e(e still- a/te( all- 4eant to be 4ates? 6ut 0hat did that 4eanH :u(ely it 0as 34ates3 as de/ined by Te((y- i?e?- people that you .an abuse 0ith )(eate( i4punity than you 0ould o(dina(y 4e4be(s o/ the publi.? Te((y had pushed in beside Lisa and Cath(yn- puttin) anothe( body bet0een 7ab and Cha(lene? I ,i( oan

the 1a(ao1e the ni)ht? Doon the Gauntlet? Dou n 4e? Islands in the tream. # I .an3t ??? I )ot this /u.1in) )i) ??? The p(ospe.t te((o(ised Cath(yn? :he didn3t 0ant to thin1 about it? I Aye- doon the Gauntlet- but? Islands in the tream- eh? I I .an3t .an.el out a )odda4n )i) at In)liston- Je((y? They3+e )one and sold th(ee thousand ti.1ets? Te((y loo1ed at he( doubt/ully- sha1in) his head? I ,hae saisH Du+ )oat tae )o 0i the +ibe? They .unts that 4ana)e ye- thai( no 4ates ay you(s- no (eal 4ates? De 0ant so4e .unt li1e 4e as yi( 4ana)e(? Thin1 ay a0 the publi.ity ye3d )it i/ ye 0ent 4issinG De .ould stop at 4ine /o( a bit? Nae .unt 0id thin1 ay loo1in /i( ye in the s.he4e? Ah 4ean- in the spa(e (oo4 thit 4a =a hud- n ye .ould ??? eh- 2ist .hill? Te((y 0as about to say that he needed so4ebody to .oo1 and .lean but he 2ust 4ana)ed to stop hi4sel/ in ti4e? I I dunno- Te((y ??? I )uess I dunno 0hat I 0ant ? ? ? I Nae .unt3s )aunny /ind ye at 4a bit? It3s a )ood s.he4e@ no li1e Nidd(ie o( ,este( Hailes? G(ae4e :ouness .a4e /ae oot that 0ey- no that /a( /ae 4e? He 1ens ho0 tae d(ess- desi)ne( suits n that? Loads ay .unts in the s.he4e3s boat thi( hooses? Aye- ye )it a 4ai( ent(ep(eneu(ial type /ae that s.he4e? Ta1e 4oi- /o( e9a4ple? I ,hatH I Ah dinnae e9pe.t ye tae )(asp a0 this the no0- but the o//e(3s thai(e- Te((y told he(? Out o/ the .o(ne( o/ his eye he sa0 Johnny sta(tin) to doEe o//- his head /allin) /o(0a(d then shudde(in) ba.1 a0a1e? Cata((h 0as /u.1ed? Fu.1in li)ht0ei)ht .unt? ,hat 0as needed 0as to 1eep 4o+in)- so(t out so4e d(u)sF speed- o( e+en 4ai( .ha(lie? He had an idea- announ.in) it loudly a.(oss the table- and spe.i/i.ally at 7ab? I This is a 0ee bit lo0Bli/e /i( ou( A4e(i.an )uest? ,hat aboot one in the 6usiness 6a(H
/0#

7ab 0as ala(4ed? Cath(yn noti.ed- but .ouldn3t 0o(1 out 0hy? I ,hat3s the 6usiness 6a(H I His b(a(3s? Lisa loo1ed at 7ab in astonish4ent? :he had thou)ht hi4 a bit o/ a 0an1e(- the 1ind o/ sin.e(e studenty type that Cha( al0ays see4ed to )o /o(? I A(e you 6illy 6i((ell3s b(othe(H I Aye- 7ab said- /eelin) .hu//ed and hatin) hi4sel/ /o( it? I Ah hud a 4ate that 0o(1ed in the ba(- Lisa in/o(4ed 7ab? I Gina Cald0ell? De 1en he(H :he 0as al4ost )oin) to add that Gina sha))ed 36usiness3 but .he.1ed he(sel/? It 0as 4o(e in/o than they needed? A 0ea1ness o/ he(s- she (e/le.ted in a4use4ent? I Na0- ah ni+i( (eally )o thai(- 7ab said? I I34 happy to stay he(e- Cha(lene said- too 5ui.1ly /o( Lisa not to )i+e he( a )lan.e? The(e she 0as a)ain? 7ab tu(ned to Lisa? :he 0as a .ool bi(d- but she 0as )i+in) hi4 a +ibe? Th(ou)h a 0a+e o/ ti(edness he thou)ht about ho0 he 0anted to )et on 0ith he(- i/ only be.ause she 0as Cha(lene3s 4ate? I It3s only .ause 4a 4othe(3s hud a hyste(e.to4y that ah34 0ea(in this st(ip ? ? ? he 4u4bled- but all she )ot 0as his lips 4o+in)? Te((y stea4ed in? I I34 su(e that 4y auld 4u.1e( 36usiness3 0ould be +e(y- +e(y hu(t i/ he /ound out that 0e 0e(e on the toon 0i Cath Joyne( and 0e didnae b(in) the lassie in tae say hello? I thin1 that a spot o/ ea(ly lun.h in the 6usiness 6a( 4i)ht be 2ust the thin)- he s4i(1ed- d(in1in) in 7ab3s dis.o4/o(t? E+en 2a1ied out and 0ith Post Ale. in to0- they3d ha+e to )et in? It 0as his b(othe( and Cath(yn Joyne(? I It3s no 2ust 6illy3s ba(- eh3s a pa(tne( 0i Gill/illan? Eh3s )oat tae 0at.h ? ? ? it3s no 2ist 6illy ? ? ? 7ab pleaded to nobody in pa(ti.ula( and .onse5uently nobody 0as listenin)? He 0as /ull o/ t(epidation? Te((y 0as en2oyin) this? Cata((h 0as .o4in) inte(4ittently out o/ his .o4a /o( lon) enou)h pe(iods to nod en.ou(a)e4ent to Te((y and to (epeat the odd 4ant(a o/ 36usiness 6a(3? Fu.1 it- 7ab .onside(ed- he 0as 0ith Cha(lene- and nobody else? Te((y .ould ta1e Ale. alon)- and Johnny? 6ut 0hy the /u.1 should Ale. not be allo0ed to d(in1 in a pub in his o0n .ityH Espe.ially as it (olled out the (ed .a(pet /o( all those Festi+al snobs 0ho 0e(e 2ust up he(e /o( /i+e 4inutes? The /u.1in doo( poli.y? A stylish .a/Q? :tyle /as.is4 0as 2ust anothe( 0ay o/ (easse(tin) the .lass syste4? Fu.1 that? His o0n b(othe( su(ely 0ouldn3t be su.h a .untG :u(ely not? Lisa didn3t li1e this pub? :he3d lost a nail e9tension and )ot a bee( stain on he( 0hite top? :he 0as 1eepin) an eye on Cha(lene? :he
/07

shouldn3t ha+e let he( )o 0ith that 7ab- 0ith anybody- .o4e to thin1 o/ it? :he see4ed al(i)ht 2ust no0- but the .o4edo0n 0as su(ely app(oa.hin)? This pub 0asn3t the best pla.e to ha+e it? The 6usiness 6a( sounded bette(? The Fly3s Oint4ent see4ed to he( li1e a .lea(in) house /o( lost souls? Lisa /an.ied that she .ould see the d(a4as o/ /utu(e despai( in p(eBp(odu.tionF the (apist .hattin) to his +i.ti4@ the .(oo1 d(in1in) easily 0ith the )uy 0ho3d e+entually )(ass hi4 up@ the boiste(ous boso4 buddies in the .o(ne(- 0aitin) /o( the al.ohol to e+entually o+e(load and o+e(heat the b(ain- 0hen- in (a)e o( pa(anoia- one 0ould be s4ashin) /ist o( )lass into

the othe(3s /a.e- lon) be/o(e .losin) ti4e? The u)liest and the s.a(iest thin) o/ all- she thou)ht- loo1in) (ound at he( o0n .o4pany- 0as that you .ouldn3t sit ba.1 s4u)ly and e9.lude you(sel/ /(o4 the e5uation? Lisa sa0 a 0o(nBout 0o4an sittin)- loo1in) in dist(ess- he( loo1s )one be/o(e thei( ti4e- and a /at (uddy 4an sittin) ne9t to he( )lo0in)- tal1in) loudly in a hal/Blau)h- hal/Bsnee(- 0o(ds she .ouldn3t 4a1e out? No doubt thou)h 0ho 0as in .ont(ol the(e? Anothe( 0o4an in a 4an3s 0o(ld- al0ays +ulne(able- she thou)ht? :he /elt he( hand ti)hten on Cha(lene3s- 0anted to as1 he( i/ she 0as o1ay- 0as the .o4edo0n 1i.1in) in- 0e(e the de4ons sta(tin) thei( (e4o(seless dan.e- but no- she 0as lau)hin) and he( eyes 0e(e still bi) and en)a)ed? :till o// he( tits- not yet tu(nin) in? 6ut that 4i)ht .o4e? ,ho the /u.1 a4 I 1iddin)- it 0ill .o4e- /o( e+e(yone? O..upational .anin) haEa(d? :o 0at.h he(? 6ut so4ebody else 0as 0at.hin) he(? And no- Lisa still didn3t t(ust hi4? :he 0ould t(ust 7ab 6i((ell 0ith any o/ he( othe( 4ates- it 0ouldn3t be an issue- it 0ouldn3t be he( business- but no Cha(- no no0? And no0 he 0as ta1in) he( by the hand and leadin) he( up to the ba( and Lisa 0as up too- instin.ti+ely /ollo0in) the4? Te((y )(abbed he( hand as she 0ent past in pu(suit? He 0in1ed at he(? :he s4iled ba.1- then nodded to the ba(.ontinuin) he( su(+eillan.e? :he sa0 7ab 0ith Cha(lene- he had o(de(ed t0o pints o/ 0ate(- into 0hi.h he pou(ed the .ontents o/ a pa.1et he too1 /(o4 his 2a.1et po.1et- 4a1in) the li5uid .loudie(- the sedi4ent not dissol+in) .o4pletely? I D(in1 ithe s4iled- (aisin) one )lass and )ulpin)? Cha(lene hesitated? It loo1ed +ile? I Dou3(e 2o1in)- she lau)hed- I 0hat is itH I Dio(alyte? One o/ these in ye and you (epla.e the /luids and the salts the be++y and d(u)s ta1e out? Cuts the se+e(ity o/ the han)o+e( by about &0 pe( .ent? Ah used to thin1 it 0as da/t- a bit pon.ey- but /o(
/0*

sessions li1e this- ah al0ays dae it? Nae point in lyin) in you( bed /eelin) ill /o( a /e0 days and 2u4pin) out yi( s1in 0hen the phone (in)s 0hen you dinnae ha+e tae ??? 0ell- no as 4u.h- he s4iled- (aisin) his )lass? That sounded )ood? :he /o(.ed it do0n- as Lisa app(oa.hed in ho((o(- he( head /ull o/ i4a)es o/ (hoyponol and GH6? No 0ay 0as he ta1in) he( ho4e? I ,hat3s that ye )ied he(H she sta(ted to as1 7ab- but /elt he( +oi.e tailin) o// as he )ulped do0n the last o/ it- be/o(e e9plainin) to he(? On thei( se.ond d(in1- Ale. and Ge((y 0e(e in son) at the ba(? I De0B.oa9edBtheBbluesssB(i)htBoutBo/BtheB ho(nB4aBaeBae ? ? ? I Ceep it doon- boys- the ba(4an 0a(ned? I D(in1 in he(e enou)h ? ? ? only /u.1in sin)in a 0ee son)- Post Ale. )(u4bled- then i)nited in sudden inspi(ation- I Eya4alines4in /(o4 the .ounteee ? ? ? Ale. ne+e( )ot to 4ention that he )uided the 4ain line? I 7i)ht- Ale.- that3s it- oot- the ba(4an snapped? He3d had enou)h@ yeste(day- the day be/o(e? Ale. had 4ana)ed 4o(e last 0a(nin)s than one o/ his he(oesF(an1 :inat(a- had last .on.e(ts? No0 it 0as enou)h? Te((y stood up? I 7i)ht e+e(ybody- let3s )o? He tu(ned to0a(ds the ba(4an? I ,i( )aun tae a 4ai( salub(ious haunt- the 6usiness 6a(- he said lo/tily? I Aye- that3ll be (i)ht- the ba(4an s.o//ed? I ,hat3s that 4eant tae 4eanH Te((y as1ed? I Aye ? ? ? /u.1in (ad)e- Cata((h spat- ba.1in) up his /(iend? I Dou3ll no )it se(+ed in thai(e- and ah3ll tell ye so4ethin) else- i/ yi( no oot ay he(e (i)ht a0ay- ah3ll be (i)ht oan tae the polis? I Cath(yn Joyne( he(e- Te((y slu((ed- pointin) at Cath(yn- 0ho 0as t(yin) to dis)uise the /a.t that she 0as 4o(ti/ied? I Deah- it3s been s0ell? Let3s )o- she u()ed the othe(s? As they 0e(e lea+in) Cha(lene sa0 hi4- he 0as 2ust sittin) the(e?

-

fu')in thin9 And then he sa0 he( and s4iled 0idely? I The(e3s 4a 0ee lassie- he said- sli)htly d(un1 0ith his /(iendsplayin) do4inoes?

6 )no": let the6 )no"
/09

not #

L(T T (M A;<W
# ,ee lassie- na0- I34 no a 0ee lassie no0? I 0as 0hen you inte(/e(ed 0ith 4e- she said .al4ly? I Nae 4ai( silen.e- nae 4ai( lies- she loo1ed hi4 in the eye? ,at.hed that si.1- su)a(y spa(1le lea+e it- as his /(iends

b(istled in thei( seats? I ,hatH Cha(lene /elt 7ab3s )(ip ti)hten on he( shoulde( and she t0isted and du.1ed to sh(u) it o//? Lisa had (e.o)nised Cha(lene3s /athe( as 0ell? :he 4o+ed alon)side he( /(iend and 7ab? I That3s hi4H Cha(lene hea(d 7ab as1 Lisa- 0ho nodded so4b(ely? Lisa thou)ht then ho0 she 4ust ha+e told hi4- told 7ab? 7ab pointed at the 4an- his steady +oi.e sayin)- I Dou a(e a /u.1in dis)(a.e? He loo1ed a(ound at the 4en beside hi4? One o( t0o o/ the4 had ha(d /a.es- one o( t0o had (eputations? I Douse a(e /u.1in dis)(a.e/ul n a0- d(in1in 0i that (ubbish- he shoo1 his head? The 4en tensed up- they 0e(en3t used to bein) spo1en to li1e that? One o/ the4 loo1ed at 7ab- his /a.e set in annihilation 4ode? ,ho 0e(e these .unts- this youn) )uy and these lassies- and 0hy 0e(e they sla))in) o// the .o4panyH Cha(lene sensed she had the ball at he( /eet? Ho0 to play it- ho0 to play it? It3s #our father this is not the ti6e or 2la'e e6barrass6ent to ever#bod# let hi6 9o: "al) a"a#: he3s not "orth it

dirt# fu')in si') 2

"hen is: the dirt# fu' si') 2

tell the6 all: tell the6 there3s a beast in this

tell the s'u6 "hat he fu') :he su.1ed in ai( and loo1ed at the 4en at the table? I He used to say I 0as pe.ulia(- .ause I didn3t li1e hi4 /in)e(in) 4e- she lau)hed .oldly and tu(ned to he( /athe(? I I3+e had 4o(e (eal se9- bette( se9 than a sad /u.1e( li1e you e+e( .ould? ,hat ha+e you doneH Dou3+e put you( di.1 in an inse.u(e- stupid 0o4an and you( /in)e( in a .hild- 0ho used
/10

to be- but isnae no0- you( dau)hte(? That3s the only se9 you3+e had- you patheti. da4a)ed pie.e o/ /u.1in shite? :he tu(ned to the 4en at he( table? I ,hat a /u.1in) stud- ehH He( /athe( 0as silent? His /(iends loo1ed at hi4? One spo1e up /o( hi4? The lassie 4ust be 4ad- t0isted- out o/ it on d(u)s- not 1no0in) 0hat she 0as sayin)? I Out o/ o(de(? Dou3(e out o/ o(de(- hen- he said? 7ab 0as s0allo0in) ha(d? He ne+e( )ot into +iolen.e outside o/ /ootball- it had ne+e( see4ed to be pa(t o/ anythin)? No0 he 0as (eady to )o? I Na0- he snapped- pointin) st(ai)ht at hi4- I you3(e out o/ o(de(d(in1in) 0ith this si.1 .unt he(e? The ha(de( )uy i)no(ed 7ab 6i((ell- instead tu(nin) his attention to his o0n /(iend? His d(in1in) pa(tne(- the 4an .alled Ceith Liddell? 6ut 0ho 0as heH Just a )uy he d(an1 0ith? T(aded po(n 4a)s and +ideos 0ith? It 0as 2ust a lau)h- 2ust a bit o/ (elie/ /o( a sin)le 4an? That 0as all he 1ne0 about hi4? 6ut he sa0 it no0- sa0 so4ethin) .(eepy and si.1 and diseased in hi4? He 0asn3t li1e this 4an- he 0asn3t li1e Ceith Liddell? He d(an1 0ith hi4- but this 4an 0as nothin) to do 0ith hi4? The 4an s.(utinised Ceith Liddell? I This you( lassieH I Aye ??? bit ??? I Is 0hat she says (i)htH I Nup ? ? ? Ceith Liddell said- his eyes 0ate(in) I it ??? it isnae ??? he sh(ie1ed li1e an ani4al in pain? In a blindin) 4o+e4ent- his 4ate3s hu)e- tattooed /ist th(ashed into his /a.e? LO8E? Ceith Liddell sat the(eal4ost too sho.1ed to e+en /eel the blo0? I Dae 4e a /a+ou(- and espe.ially dae yi(sel/ a /a+ou(- and )it the /u.1 oot ay he(e- his e9B/(iend said? Ceith Liddell loo1ed a(ound the table and they eithe( )la(ed o( a+e(ted thei( eyes? He stood up- his head hun) lo0 0hile Cha(lene stood he( )(ound- he( eyes bo(in) into the ba.1 o/ his head as he /loated li1e a )host to the /a( side doo(? 7ab 0ent to /ollo0 hi4- but Lisa tu))ed on his a(4? I ,e3(e )aun the othe( 0ay? Fo( a se.ond 7ab /elt despe(ate to 1i.1 it o//- pu4ped up to the e9tent that his head and body 0e(e al4ost spinnin) 0ith ad(enaline? Johnny3s /a.e .a4e into his line o/ +ision- in ba.1Bup 4ode- t0isted and pin.hed? 7ab /elt hi4sel/ al4ost sni))e(in) as the tension d(ained /(o4 hi4? He )(abbed Gha(lene3s hand? Gha(lene 0as only in sho.1 /o( a se.ond? As she 0ent to the doo(- i4a)es /looded he( 4ind- a lo+in)duti/ul- a//e.tionate /athe(? It 0asn3t he(s- it 0as so4ebody else3s? The one pe(haps she 0anted hi4 to be? At least he3d al0ays been a basta(d- he3d le/t no (eal set o/
/11

.ont(adi.tions /o( he( to (esol+e? Dou .ouldn3t la4ent s.u4? Cha(lene thou)ht she3d .(y- but no- she 0as

)oin) to be st(on)? Lisa )uided he( into the toilets- 7ab (elu.tantly loosenin) his )(ip? Lo.1in) he( /(iend in a ti)ht e4b(a.e- Lisa u()ed- I Let3s )et you ha4e? I No 0ay? I 0ant tae stey oot? I C34oan Cha(lene- eh ??? I Ah said ah 0ant tae stey oot? I3+e done nothin) 0(on)? I I 1no0- but you3+e had a /u.1in bi) upset ? ? ? I Na0- she said- suddenly ha(de( than Lisa had e+e( seen he(? I I3+e done nothin) 0(on)? A0 ah3+e done is lan.ed a boil? Ah .an3t be bothe(ed any 4ai(F dealin) 0ith 0hat he3s done- and 0hat she3s let hi4 dae? Ah34 2ust /u.1in 0ell /ed up 0i it- Lisa? It bo(es 4e no0? Let thai4 handle it- thai4 oot thai(eG :he )estu(ed a))(essi+ely ba.1 at the doo(? Lisa pulled Cha(lene .lose( to he(? I O1ay- but ah34 0at.hin) you doll? They applied so4e 4a1eBup and e9ited 2ust as Te((y .a4e o+e(- i((itated that he3d 4issed so4ethin)? I ,hat 0as a0 that abootH he as1ed? Lisa s4iled- I Jist so4e .unt )ittin 0ide- she lin1ed a(4s 0ith Cha(lene? I 7ab so(ted it- she said- pullin) 7ab to he( and 1issin) hi4 on the side o/ the /a.e- notin) that he 0as too /o.used on Cha(lene to e+en noti.e? Then she nipped Te((y3s a(se? I C34on- lit3s )it oot ay he(e? They headed outside and 0ound thei( 0ay in t0os and th(ees into to0n- s5uintin) in the sun- dod)in) tou(ists as they st(a))led th(ou)h the ,est End? I Ah dinnae 1en aboot this- Ale. 4oaned? He p(e/e((ed to d(in1 in pla.es 0he(e the spa.es bet0een pubs .ould be 4easu(ed in ya(ds at the 4ost? I Not to 0o((y- Ale9is- Te((y said- )i+in) Lisa3s shoulde(s a s5ueeEe- I 4y )ood /(iend ,illia4 36usiness3 6i((ell 0ill 4a1e us 4o(e than 0el.o4e at his .ha(4in) little hostel(y- he .ontended .a4ply- be/o(e tu(nin) to 7ab? I Is that not (i)ht- 7obe(toG I Aye ? ? ? (i)ht ? ? ? 7ab said 0a(ily? He3d been t(yin) to e9plain so4ethin) to Cha(lene 0ithout soundin) li1e a pat(onisin) di.1? Last ni)ht had been a disaste(? The lassie sa0 hi4 as a so.ial 0o(1e( 0hen all he 0anted 0as a (ide ? ? ? 0ell- a bit o/ lo+e and (o4an.e (eally- but you needed a (ide ta.1ed on the end? It 0as essential? 6ut last ni)ht 0hen they3d done the lot e9.ept put it in- she3d )one on about
/1(

.ondo4s- be/o(e the si.1enin) t(uth had .o4e out? 6ut she3d handled it 0ell- he3d ba.1ed he( up and they 0e(e .lose( than e+e(? Lisa 0as e+en up /o( hi4 no0? I It3ll happen soon- 7ab- she said to hi4? I Loo1- ah 2ist 0ant tae be 0i you? Let3s 2ust )et on 0i that and 0e .an de.ide ho0 as 0e )o alon)? Ah34 )aun nae0hai(e- 7ab said- su(p(isin) hi4sel/ by ho0 noble he sounded- ho0 !ure he /elt? I3+e /u.1in 0ell /allen in lo+e- 7ab thou)ht? Ah .a4e oot /o( a d(in1 and hopin) /o( a (ide- and ah3+e /u.1in 0ell /allen in lo+e? And he /elt li1e a /oolish )od? E+en /(o4 the ,est End- .unted and 0ithout his )lasses- Ale. /an.ied that he .ould still see the .leanin) plat/o(4 outside the 6al4o(al Hotel? As they )ot .lose( be/o(e tu(nin) o// to0a(ds Geo()e :t(eet- Te((y loo1ed up and shudde(ed? He 0ouldn3t- .ouldn3t )o up the(e a)ain? It 0as too hi)h? It 0as too easy to /all?

Wan)in9
F(an1lin had been up all ni)ht- unable to settle? His sto4a.h .hu(ned and he .ouldn3t sleep? He3d s.(ea4 in his head- /u.1 that sel/ish bit.h- 0hy should I bothe(H Then 4inutes late( he3d be /(ettin)- phonin) a(ound .lubs and lateBni)ht ba(s- .he.1in) Cath(yn3s (oo4? He t(ied 0an1in) to the po(n .hannel as a 4eans o/ (ela9in)? Th(ou)h his an9iety he too1 a)es to (ea.h a .li4a9- and 0hen he did he /elt si.1 and hollo0? Then he (e4e4be(ed- 4y God- the /u.1in) 0alletG The /u.1in) .a(dsG Notin) the ti4e di//e(en.e in Ne0 Do(1- he phoned up so4e nu4be(s to .an.el the4? It too1 hi4 a)es to )et th(ou)h? 6y the ti4e he did- the assholes 0ho dipped hi4 had )ot th(ou)h about t0o thousand pounds3 0o(th o/ )oods? E+entually- he /ell into a si.1 slu4be(? ,hen he a0o1e 0ith a shudde(in) sta(t- it 0as nea(ly lun.hti4e? Despai( tu(ned to )allo0s hu4ou(? E+e(ythin)3s )one- he told hi4sel/? It3s o+e(? :he3d ne+e( done this be/o(e- )one 4issin) on the e+e o/ a )i)? E+e(ythin)3s )one? He thou)ht about Taylo(? F(an1lin 0as o// out? Fu.1 that bit.h@ i/ she .ould do it- then so .ould he? He 0as )oin) to ha+e a d(in1 in e+e(y sin)le ba( he .ould /ind in this )od/o(sa1en hole?

eathro" Air2ort: London- (n9land "?'0 p4
6(itain? No- it3s En)land? It3s not :.otland? 6(itain ne+e( (eally e9isted? It 0as all so4e P7 .on in the se(+i.e o/ the E4pi(e? ,e3+e di//e(ent e4pi(es to se(+e no0- so they3ll tell us that 0e3(e so4ethin) else? Eu(ope- o( the

/i/tyB/i(st A: state o( the Atlanti. Islands- o( so4e shite li1e that? It3s all /u.1in lies? 6ut it 0as al0ays (eally :.otland- I(eland- En)land and ,ales? O// the plane? Onto the plane? O// to :.otland? Not 4u.h 4o(e than an hou( a0ay? I .an3t )et on an Edinbu()h plane? The /i(st one is /o( Glas)o0? I don3t 0ant to sit he(e- e+en thou)h the ne9t Edinbu()h one3ll )et 4e ho4e at al4ost the sa4e ti4e- by the ti4e I t(ain it th(ou)h? It see4s i4po(tant to 1eep 4o+in) thou)h- so I buy a Glas)o0 ti.1et? I phone 4y 4othe(? It3s )(eat to tal1 to he(? :he see4s to)ethe(- but she3s a bit a0ay- li1e she3s on 8alues o( so4ethin)? =y Auntie A+(il .o4es on the phone- tells 4e that she3s bea(in) up 0ell? The(e3s no .han)e in the old 4an? I They3(e 2ust 0aitin)- son- she says? It3s the 0ay she says it? They3(e 2ust 0aitin)? I )o into the bo)s- sit do0n in pa(alysed an)uish? No tea(s .o4e- and it 0ould be pointless- li1e t(yin) to e4pty a (ese(+oi( o/ )(ie/ by d(ip /eed? I34 bein) da/t? =y old boy 0ill be o1ay? He3s in+in.ible and the do.to(s a(e /u.1in 0an1e(s? I/ he does die it3ll be be.ause he3s been le/t out in the /u.1in .a(Bpa(1 on the (ubbish s1ip 0ith anothe( doEen nonB(i.h patients instead o/ in a p(ope( hospital bed- )ettin) t(eat4ent that he3s /u.1in 0ell paid /o( all his li/e th(ou)h his sta4ps and his ta9es? All I .an thin1 o/ is 4y =a3s pla.e? Get a 1ip- sha+e and sho0e( and 0ash o// the e9te(nal dust and )(i4e and then I3ll see e+e(ybody?
/1/

=aybe e+en .at.h up 0ith so4e o/ the boys? ,ell 4aybe yes- and 4aybe no? I34 too /u.1ed to /eel anythin) about :.otland- only bein) an hou( a0ay? I 2ust 0ant a bed? Lies? It 0as all lies? ,e 1ept a0ay /(o4 ea.h othe( be.ause 0e (e4inded ea.h othe( o/ ou( /ailu(e as 4ates? Fo( all ou( bi) tal1- ou( /(iend had died alone? It 0as all lies? I 1ept a0ay /(o4 Te((y and 6illy? Gally told 4e that he had the +i(us? He3d ban)ed up a .ouple o/ ti4es in Leith 0ith a )uy .alled =atty Connell? Just t0o o( th(ee ti4es- dep(essed at ho0 thin)s 0e(e )oin) 0ith his 1id? The nutte( his bi(d 0as 0iththe one the 1id .alled Dad? =a(1 =.=u((ay 0as the boy3s na4e? Gail3s /elly? Doyle3s 4ate? He3d ta1en a pie.e o/ Gally on t0o o..asions? Pol4ont- 0e used to .all hi4? The Dale1? Poo( Pol4ont? Poo( Gally? Gally3s /i(st (ide p(odu.ed a p(e)nan.y and a lo+eless- shot)un 4a((ia)e? His /i(st o( se.ond ban)Bup p(odu.ed the +i(us? He told 4e that he .ouldn3t handle the hospi.e- .ouldn3t handle e+e(yone- his =a n that- 1no0in) it 0as d(u)s@ he(oin and AID:? He thou)ht he3d al(eady ta1en al4ost e+e(ythin) /(o4 his =a- he .ouldn3t ta1e any 4o(e? He p(obably thou)ht that death by d(un1en 4isad+entu(e sounded bette( than death by AID:? As i/ she3d see it that 0ay? Gally 0as a p(ope( boy thou)h- (i)ht enou)h? 6ut he le/t us? He le/t us- I sa0 all that- the 0ay he loo1ed st(ai)ht ahead as 0e sta(ted shoutin) /o( hi4 no tae be sae /u.1in da/t- and tae )it ba.1 o0e( the (ail? Gally had al0ays been a .li4be(- but he 0as o+e( the (ailin) at Geo()e I8 6(id)e and loo1in) do0n onto the Co0)ate belo0? It 0as the %ay he 0as loo1in) do0n- in a st(an)e t(an.e? And I sa0 the lot- I 0as the .losest? 6illy and Te((y 0e(e headin) do0n to0a(ds Fo((est 7oad- sho0in) hi4 that they 0e(e uni4p(essed by his attentionBsee1in)? I 0as (i)ht beside hi4 thou)h? I .ould ha+e tou.hed hi4? 7ea.hed out and )(abbed hi4? No? Gally b(ie/ly snapped out o/ the hypnoti. state and I sa0 hi4 bite
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his lo0e( lip- and his hand 0ent up to that lobe and he t0isted on his ea((in)? It see4ed that e+en a/te( all those yea(s- it 0as still al0ays )ettin) s.abby and 0eepin)? Then he shut his eyes and stepped o( /ell- no ste!!ed, o// that b(id)e- /allin) si9ty /eet and s4ashin) onto the (oad belo0? I (oa(edGALLDG ,HAT THE FACCIN ? ? ? GALLDG Te((y- tu(ned- /(oEe /o( a se.ond- sh(ie1ed so4ethin)- then )(abbed his ain hai( in his hands and sta(ted sto4pin) his /eet on the spot- li1e he 0as on /i(e and t(yin) to put it out? It 0as a 4ad :t 8itus nu4be(- li1e so4ethin) .onne.ted to hi4 0as pe(ishin)- bein) to(n /(o4 hi4? 6illy 0ent st(ai)ht do0n the s4all 0indin) (oad 0hi.h too1 hi4 to the st(eet belo0? I loo1ed o+e( the balust(ade and sa0 Gally lyin)- al4ost li1e he 0as 2ust playin) dead- on the (oad belo0? I

4ind thin1in) that it 0as so4eho0 all a 2o1e- a pissBta1e? Li1e he had so4eho0 4i(a.ulously 4ana)ed to .li4b doon onto the (oad and 0as lyin) do0n- 1iddin) on- li1e 0hen 0e 0e(e 1ids and 0e 3shot3 ea.h othe(- at Japs and Co44andos? The e+iden.e o/ the eyes see4ed 0ei(dly .ont(adi.ted by a ho((i/i. hope- so st(on) it nauseated- that this 0as 2ust a biEa((e setup? Then Te((y loo1ed at 4e and shouted- I Co4e oan- and I /ollo0ed hi4 do0n the na((o0 lane to the 4ain (oad belo0 0he(e Gally lay? The(e 0as a poundin) in the side o/ 4y /a.e and the tendons in the ba.1 o/ 4y ne.1 /elt li1e 1ni+es? The(e 0as still a .han.e 0e 0ould su(ely be ba.1 to 0hat 0e 0e(eF 2ust a bun.h o/ .unts out on the piss? 6ut this /antasy- this hope- 0as shatte(ed 0hen I sa0 6illy .(adlin) Gally3s body? I 4ind o/ this d(un1en- dopey .o0 0ho 2ust 1ept on sayin)- I ,hat happenedH ,hat happenedH 7epeatin) it o+e( and o+e( li1e a 4o(on? I 0anted he( to be dead instead o/ hi4? I ,hat happenedH ,hat happenedH No0 I (ealise that the poo( lassie 4ust ha+e been in sho.1? 6ut I 0anted it to be he( instead o/ hi4? Just /o( a se.ond o( t0o- then I didn3t 0ant anybody to die e+e( a)ain? =ost o/ the people )athe(ed a(ound had .o4e out o/ the pubs- and they 0e(e all loo1in) /o( the .a( that had (un o+e( Gally- t(yin) to 0o(1 out 0hi.h 0ay it had 0ent? Nobody thou)ht to loo1 up to the 6(id)e? Then I34 standin) in 0hat I thin1 is silen.e- but they all loo1 at 4e li1e I3+e been hu(t- li1e I34 bleedin) badly and Te((y .o4es o+e( and
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sha1es 4e li1e I34 a 0ee bai(n- and it3s only then that I (ealise that I3+e been s.(ea4in)? 6illy3s 2ist holdin Gally and sayin so/tly- 0i a sad tende(ness I3+e ne+e( hea(d be/o(e o( sin.e /(o4 anybodyI ,hat did ye dae that /o(- AndyH ,hat /i(H :u(ely it 0isnae that bad? ,e .ould3+e so(ted it oot- 4ate? The boys? ,hat /i( that but- ,ee =anH ,hat /i(H That 0as the last ti4e it 0as spe.ial? A/te( that 0e 1ept a0ay /(o4 ea.h othe(? It 0as as i/ 0e lea(nt about loss too youn) and 0anted to ta1e ou(sel+es a0ay /(o4 ea.h othe( be/o(e the othe(s did it /i(st? E+en thou)h 0e 0i(nae (eally that /a( /ae ea.h othe(@ 4e- 6illy- Te((y and I suppose Gally be.a4e the /ou( .o(ne(s ay the )lobe a/te( that ni)ht? No0 I34 )oin) ba.1? The .o(one( (etu(ned an open +e(di.t? Te((y (e/used to e+en .onside( the possibility o/ sui.ide? I thin1 6illy )uessed thou)h? I 0ent to London- basin) 4ysel/ the(e? A (esiden.y in a s4all- happenin) .lub 0hi.h 4o+ed to bi))e( p(e4ises? Then onto a bi)- .o(po(ate supe(.lub? I 4ade a /e0 tunes o/ 4y o0n- then did a /e0 4i9es? Then an albu4- then anothe( one? 6asi.ally- I li+ed out the old :nap /antasy o/ su..ess 0hile t(yin) to play bass? I 0as ne+e( a bassist thou)h@ ne+e( a =anni- ,obble- Hoo1y o( Le44y- not e+en a /u.1in :tin)? I didn3t )et a bass feel /(o4 4y ha4B/isted e//o(ts- 0hi.h 0e(e ne+e( in syn.h 0ith 4y inte(nal +ibe- but I did )et a bass ear. That helped a lot 0hen it .a4e to 4i9in) (e.o(ds? Thin)s happened slo0ly- but steadily? A bi) dan.e (e.o(dGroo(y e- Doll, 0hi.h .(ossed o+e( into the 4ainst(ea4 .ha(ts? That set 4e up bi)ti4e? They played it on To! of the )o!s, 0ith 4e p(etendin) to play a 1eyboa(d 0hile so4e ly.(aB.lad 4odels /(o4 an a)en.y dan.ed a0ay? I too1 o// on a +od1a and .o.aine bin)e- sha))ed one o/ the 4odels- hun) a(ound the =et 6a( and so4e :oho .lubs- had deep and 4eanin)/ul dis.ussions 0ith +a(ious pop sta(s- a.to(s- 0(ite(s- 4odels- tele+ision p(esente(s- a(tists- ne0spape( and 4a)aEine edito(s- and e9.han)ed loads o/ phone nu4be(s? Hea(d the a..ents on the +oi.e4ail .han)e? ,hat should ha+e been an inte(estin) t0o 4onths- a su44e(- be.a4e a tu()id si9 yea(s? I don3t (e)(et doin) it? Dou ha+e to (un 0ith it 0hen it3s you( ti4e- o( else you3ll la4ent it late(? I do (e)(et sti.1in) a(ound /o( too lon)- lettin) that sad- si.1enin)- dest(u.ti+e p(o.ess )(ind 4e do0n? On a plane ba.1 /(o4 Ne0 Do(1 and an e9.ellent )i) at the T0ilo- I 4ade a .a(ee( de.isionF I 0asn3t /o( ha+in) a .a(ee( any 4o(e? I had a /oot in both .a4ps- as I3d al0ays ad4i(ed the house heads 0ho 1ept it (ealF Da+e the D(u44e(- the Libe(ato( boys- that so(t o/
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.(e0? 6asi.ally- that 0as 4y ti4e- the unde()(ound pa(ties- tea4in) up 0ith the t(ibes? The blunt t(uth o/ it is that it3s bette(? It3s bette( /un- a bette( lau)h? :o it 0as a pu(ely .al.ulatin)- 4e(.ena(y 4o+e on 4y pa(tlea+in) the boiledB/(o) en+i(on4ent o/ the .eleb .i(.uit? :o I 0as playin) at the oldBs1ool (a+es and pa(ties@ the dan.e 4usi. p(ess 0e(e as1in)F HA: NB:IGN LO:T THE PLOT and I 0as ha+in) the happiest- 4ost /ul/illed ti4e o/ 4y li/e? Then the C(i4inal Justi.e 6ill sta(ted to 1i.1 in- and beneath the toothy s4iles the AC .ontinued to be an opp(essi+e pla.e /o( those 0ho didn3t 0ant to pa(ty on thei( te(4s? And thei( pa(ties- thei( Cool 6(itannia pa(tiesF they 0e(e /u.1in shite? :o 0e 4o+ed@ /i(st Pa(is- then 6e(lin- then :ydney? :pi(al punte(s- =utoid punte(s- they all see4ed to 0ash up in :ydney? Lately I3+e been )ettin) /u.1ed up a lot? That al0ays tells 4e it3s ti4e to 4o+e on? :o4e people spend yea(s in .ounsellin) t(yin) to .ope 0ith bein) /u.1ed up? I 2ust 4o+e on? The /u.1edBupness al0ays

)oes? The .on+entional 0isdo4 is that you3(e (unnin) a0ay- you should lea(n to .ope 0ith bein) /u.1edBup? I don3t hold 0ith that? Li/e is a dyna4i. (athe( than a stati. p(o.ess- and 0hen 0e don3t .han)e it 1ills us? It3s not (unnin) a0ay- it3s 4o+in) on? Des? This has 4ade 4e /eel bette(? Dou .an3t beat sel/B2usti/i.ation? I34 not (unnin) a0ay- I34 4o+in) on? =o+in) on? The last ti4e I sa0 the4 0as at the /une(al- nine yea(s a)o? The /unny thin) 0as 0ith the li1es o/ 6illyTe((y- Topsy- I ne+e( thou)ht about the4 as 4u.h as I thou)ht I 0ould? It3s only no0- no0 that I34 so .lose to ho4e? The .onne.tin) /li)ht to Glas)o0- I34 on and 0ith a .o4pli4enta(y .opy o/ the $erald. ,eed)ies? I /u.1in lo+e those .unts? They ne+e(- e+e( disappoint? 6a.1 ho4e a)ain? I al0ays )et this st(an)e buEE 0hen I )o ba.1 to :.otland? It hits 4e that- in spite o/ the d(ead- it3s been a lon) ti4e and I34 a.tually e9.ited? I hope the(e3s still a /athe( /o( 4e to see 0hen I )et the(e? The(e3ll be nae Gally thou)h? I lo+ed 0ee Gally- that little .unt- that sel/ish /u.1in little shitba)? P(obably 4o(e than e+e( no0- be.ause he3s potted? He doesnae disappoint anyone no0- he only did that the on.e? The i4a)e o/ his b(o1en body on that (oad 0ill stay 0ith 4e /o( e+e(? The )i(l ba.1 in =uni.h- yea(s a)o- ninety- ninetyBone- ei)htyBnine o( so4e shite- Elsa he( na4e 0as? Gally 0ent a0ay 0ith he( 4ate? I
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Dou( /(iend is st(an)e- she said- I he did not- 0ith G(et.hen ? ? ? they did not ??? she li1ed hi4- but they did not ha+e p(ope( se9? I 0as 0onde(in) 0hat he 0as thin1in) o/? No0 I 1ne0- li1e he 1ne0? He 0as /a( too ni.e a )uy to /u.1 anybody 0ith the +i(us? He app(enti.ed us all in loss? I/ only he lo+ed hi4sel/ as 4u.h as he lo+ed the (est o/ the 0o(ld? He3s deid- so he3s easie( to lo+e than Te((y o( 6illy? I still li1e the4 thou)h@ so 4u.h I .an3t let the4 sub+e(t the 0ay I /eel about the4 by allo0in) the4 any0he(e nea(? I li1e the idea o/ the4? 6ut 0e .an ne+e( ha+e 0hat 0e had@ it3s all )oneF the inno.en.e- the la)e(- the pills- the /la)s- the t(a+el- the s.he4e ? ? ? it3s all so /a( a0ay /(o4 4e? ,hat 0as that 6o0ie (e/(ain 0e sa4pledF D(a0 the blinds on yeste(day ? ? ? The bus ba.1 into the .ity .ent(e? I34 /u.1ed? A.tually I34 beyond /u.1ed? :o4eti4es I /eel li1e I34 seein) th(ou)h 4y ea(s instead o/ 4y eyes? 6u.hanan :t(eet 6us :tation?

(dinbur9h: &'otland. 2?02 p4 The 6usiness 6a(
The 6usiness 6a( 0as .(o0ded? Festi+al punte(s and o//i.e 0o(1e(s 4e()ed easily in a s4u) but p(obably un/ounded .o4pli.ity- i4a)inin) that they 0e(e in a pla.e 0hi.h 0as at the .ent(e o/ the 0o(ld /o( those th(ee 0ee1s o/ the yea(? 6illy 6i((ell 0as standin) at the ba(- holdin) .ou(t- d(in1in) a Pe((ie( 0ate(? His eyes (aised in a su(p(ised but not hostile 4anne( as he .au)ht si)ht o/ his b(othe(? A /u.1in Hibs a0ay st(ip? :till- at least it 0as /u(the( p(oo/ that he 0asn3t han)in) a(ound 0ith a))(oB4e(.hants? Then 6illy sa0 Te((y and his /a.e +isibly d(opped? 6ut he 0as 0ith so4eone ? ? ? that lassie ??? it 0as Cath(yn Joyne(G He(e- in the 6usiness 6a(G :he 0as )ettin) so4e loo1s as 0ell- but 0hat 0as she doin) 0ith the4H I 6illyG Ho0 )oes itH Jui.e Te((y e9tended a hand 0hi.h 6illy 6i((ell )(asped tentati+ely? Te((y loo1ed in bad shape? O+e(0ei)ht? He (eally had let hi4sel/ )o? I A0(i)ht- Te((y- 6illy 6i((ell said? He shot his b(othe( 7ab a )lan.e? 7ab sh(u))ed ba.1 sheepishly? Lisa loo1ed 6illy 6i((ell up and do0n- e+aluatin) eyes blaEin) li1e Don Cin)3s? Te((y ushe(ed Cath(yn to0a(ds 6illy? I 8ilhel4- I3d li1e you to 4eet a )ood /(iend o/ 4ine? This is Cath(yn Joyne(- Te((y /elt his shoulde(s sha1e as he added- I she3s been 1no0n to .hant the odd nu4be(? Cath(yn- this is an old asso.iate o/ 4ine? 7obe(t3s b(othe( 6illy ??? o( 36usiness3- to )i+e hi4 the title 0e lo.als a(e 0ont to use? 6illy 6i((ell 1ne0 that Te((y 0as 0asted and 2ust bein) a 0ide .unt? He (eally ne+e( .han)es- 6illy thou)ht0ith a .onte4pt so /ie(.e it .aused his )uts to bu(n and al4ost 4ade hi4 shudde(? Attendin) to the A4e(i.an sin)e(- 6illy .ouldn3t help but thin1- )od- this 0o4an loo1s (ou)h? I Cath(yn- he s4iled- e9tendin) his hand? He tu(ned to
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a )i(l behind the ba(? I Lena- .an 0e ha+e so4e .ha4pa)ne do0n he(e@ a 4a)nu4 o/ Do4 Pe(i)non- I thin1? Te((y 0as loo1in) at a pi.tu(e o/ 6usiness 6i((ell 0ith the /ootballe( =o Johnston on the 0all? I =o JohnstonF a .ha(a.te(- eh 6illyH

I Aye ? ? ? 6illy said 0a(ily? He loo1ed at so4e 4o(e pi.tu(es behind the ba(? I Da((en Ja.1son? John 7obe(tson? Go(don Hunte(? Ally =.Coist? Ga+in Hastin)s? :andy Lyle? :tephen Hend(y? Cha(a.te(s- eh 6illyH 6usiness 6i((ell bit his lo0e( lip and )lan.ed s0i/tly o+e( at his b(othe(- an e9p(ession o/ a..usation /o(4in) on his sha(p /eatu(es? ,hile e+e(ybody 0as tentati+ely .he.1in) ea.h othe( out- Post Ale. had al(eady a(sed hal/ the .ha4pa)neand 0as tal1in) to t0o a(ty- Festi+al- tou(isty 0o4en? I ??? .ou(se- ay .annae 0o(1 .ause ay 4a ba.1 ? ? ? bit ah34 daein the 0indaes /i( a 4ate ? ? ? The dissonan.e o/ this .o44ent san1 ho4e and Ale. stood /o( a 4o4ent stupe/ied by )uilt and d(in1? He /ou)ht th(ou)h this pa(alysis by bu(stin) into son)? I A 0ee son)G Cause you( 4ine ? ? ? 4e a0 4y - ? ? speBshil layBdee ? ? ? Lisa s4i(1ed at this- ea)e(ly li/tin) a )lass o/ .ha4pa)ne and passin) othe(s to 7ab and Cha(lene? Te((y lau)hed? I Ja1ey ale(tG Then he tu(ned to Cath(yn and put one a(4 (ound he( 0aist and anothe( (ound 6illy 6i((ell3s shoulde(? I =a auld 4ate 6illy 6i((ell- Cath? ,e 0i( 4ates- lon)- lon) be/o(e ah 0is 4ates 0i 7ab- he e9plained? I O/ .ou(se- eh disnae li1e tae be 4inded ay they ti4es no0? Eh no- 6illyH I Ah dinnae need tae be 4inded- Te((y? Ah 4ind 0ell enou)h- 6illy told hi4 .oolly? To Te((y- this sobe( 6illy 6i((ell 0as so unyieldin)- it 0as li1e he 0as 4ade out o/ b(onEe? The .unt loo1ed 0ell- but 0hy 0ouldn3t heH He 0as p(obably on e+e(y e9e(.ise p(o)(a44e and spe.ial healthy eatin) diet and nothin)BtoBe9.ess li/estyle you .ould thin1 o/? He3d a)ed a bit o/ .ou(se@ his hai( 0as thinne(- and his /a.e a bit 4o(e lined? 6i((ell? Ho0 did that /u.1e( )et any lines on his /a.e 0hen he ne+e( 4o+ed itH 6ut it %as 6illy- he did loo1 )ood- and Te((y /elt a pan) o/ nostal)ia? I =ind 0i 0ent tae the National at Aint(ee? The ,o(ld Cup in Italy- 3$0? The O1tobe(/est in =uni.h- 6illyH I Aye- 6illy said 0ith 4o(e 0a(iness than he intended? I Ah3+e seen the 0o(ld- ye see? It3s the /u.1in sa4e e+e(y0hai(e (eally- eh Cath- Te((y said? Then- 0ithout 0aitin) /o( a (ea.tion added- I Ased tae bo9- oo( 6illy 6oy did- Cath? Couldnae bo9 e))s
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4ind you- Te((y .len.hed a /ist and )ently p(essed it a)ainst 6illy3s .hin? I Could3+e been a .ontende(- eh .ha4pH 6illy pushed Te((y3s hand a0ay? Instin.ti+ely- Te((y ti)htened his )(ip (ound Cath(yn3s 0aist? I/ 6usiness 0as )oin) to put Te((y do0n- then she 0as )oin) 0ith hi4? :ee ho0 the i4a)eB.ons.ious .unt li1ed that? The spin the +(ening 2e%s 0ould put on itF A4e(i.an sin)e( and inte(national .eleb(ity Cath(yn Joyne( 0as 1no.1ed o+e( in an in.ident in a .ity pub yeste(day? It is unde(stood that .apital spo(tin) pe(sonality 6illy 36usiness3 6i((ell 0as in+ol+ed? 6illy 6i((ell? His /(iend? Te((y thou)ht o/ 6illy and hi4 0ith thei( spo(ts du//elBba)s- st(iped sloppyB2oesnayte9 2eans and pa(1as? Then onto the 6en :he(4ans and :taBp(est- th(ou)h to the .appedBslee+ed TBshi(tsthe Adidas and the F(ed Pe((y? A t0ist o/ poi)nan.y shot th(ou)h hi4- instantly 4eta4o(phosisin) into 4elan.holy? I Ah 0ent doon tae Leith 8i.to(ia that ti4e 0i ye 6illy ??? ah should3+e stu.1 it oot? =ind 6illy ? ? ? 4ind ? ? ? Te((y3s +oi.e 0ent lo0 and despe(ate and al4ost b(o1e as he thou)ht o/ Andy Gallo0ay- li/eless on the ta(4a.- NB:IGN E0a(t o+e( in Aust(alia- o( 0he(e+e( he 0as- his 4othe(- Lu.y- his son Jason- a st(an)e(- 8i+ian ? ? ? then he s5ueeEed ti)hte( at Cath(yn? Jason? He pi.1ed the na4e? That 0as it? He3d said to Lu.y that he3d ne+e( be li1e that old .unt- the basta(d that le/t hi4 and D+onne- that he 0ould be a )ood /aithe(? He3d be.o4e so obsessed 0ith 4a1in) hi4sel/ appea( di//e(ent /(o4 the /u.1e(- he3d not noti.ed it had all been supe(/i.ial .ha(a.te(isti.s he3d 0o((ied about and that they3d tu(ned out li1e t0o peas in a pod? Te((y (e4e4be(ed the ti4e that he3d t(ied to 4a1e an e//o(t to be.o4e pa(t o/ Jason3s li/e? He3d .olle.ted hi4 /(o4 Lu.y3s and ta1en the 1id to the 4at.h at Easte( 7oad? The boy 0as bo(ed- and 4a1in) .on+e(sation 0as li1e pullin) teeth? On.e- sub4ittin) to a pan) o/ e4otion- he t(ied to hu) Jason? The 1id 0as as tense and e4ba((assed as 6i((ell 0as no0? His o0n son had 4ade Te((y /eel li1e so4ebody /(o4 the beast3s 0in) in :au)hton? The ne9t :unday- he thou)ht that he3d ta1e Jason to the Eoo? He3d a..epted that the 1id 4i)ht 0ant .o4pany nea(e( his o0n a)e? He3d
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hea(d that Gally3s 4othe( had 0ee Ja.5ueline so4e 0ee1ends- and she 0as not 4u.h youn)e( than Jason? He 0ent to =(s Gallo0ay3s doo(? I ,hat dae you 0antH she as1ed- in a )hostly .oldness- he( la()e eyes B eyes 2ust li1e he( son3s Be9pandin)- su.1in) you in? Te((y .ouldn3t stand he( loo1- it .ut hi4 to the 5ui.1? Ande( that )aEe he /elt li1e a 0ouldBbe es.apee /(o4 a .on.ent(ation .a4p- blinded by the sea(.hli)ht bea4s? Ne(+ously he .ou)hed? I Eh ??? ah hea(d ye hud the 0ee lassie so4e 0ee1ends ? ? ? eh- ah 0is 2ist thin1in li1e- ah34 ta1in the 0ee boy tae the Eoo oan :unday ??? i/ ye 0anted a b(e1 ah .ould ta1e 0ee Ja.5ueline n a0 li1e ? ? ? I Dou 4ust be 2o1in)- she said i.ily- I let 4a )(anddau)hte( oot 0i youH

:he didn3t need to add 3a/te( 0hat happened to 4y son3- it 0as 0(itten in he( /a.e? Te((y 0ent to say so4ethin)- /elt the 0o(ds sti.1 in his th(oat as e4otion th(eatened to o+e(0hel4 hi4? He /o(.ed hi4sel/ to loo1 pointedly at :usan Gallo0ay- unde(standin) he( pain th(ou)h his o0n hu(t? I/ he .ould 2ust /i)ht th(ou)h that hu(t and hold the sta(e- then 4aybe she3d .o4e (ound and they .ould tal1 p(ope(ly- sha(e the pain? Li1e 6illy /u.1in 6i((ell 0ould ha+e done? He on.e sa0 6illy in his bi) /lash .a(- =(s Gallo0ay )ettin) out- and 6illy helpin) he( 0ith he( shoppin)? A0 aye- 6i((ell3s little p(a.ti.al help 0ould be 0el.o4e o/ .ou(se- that 0ould do ni.ely? 6ut 6i((ell 0as a 3.apital spo(tin) pe(sonality3 and no0 a su..ess/ul business4an? E+en E0a(t- that d(u)Baddled .unt- 0as a top dee2ay and (u4ou(ed to be a 4illionai(e? Na0- you needed a s.ape)oat- and in this a)e the )uy le/t behind in the s.he4e /itted the bill? It da0ned on hi4 then that this 0as his lot? And he3d lo+ed Gally 2ust as 4u.h as the (est o/ the4? Tu(nin) a0ay /(o4 his dead /(iend3s 4othe(- Te((y 0al1ed o// in sob(iety as unsteadily as the hopeless- patheti. d(un1a(d she belie+ed hi4 to be? No0 he 0as e+en 4o(e unsteady? He held onto Cath(yn ti)hte( still- and loo1ed o+e( at Lisa 0ho )a+e hi4 a bea4in) s4ile? :he 0as a b(illiant lassie- a .ute- se9y bi(d 0ho lo+ed d(in1in) .o.1tails and )ettin) /u.1ed? Couldn3t be 4o(e his type- a d(ea4 .o4e t(ue (eally? O+e( the yea(s he3d let his standa(ds slip- but no0 he 0as 0ith Lisa? :he should be 4o(e than enou)h ? ? ? and so Jui.e Te((y bolste(ed his e)o and (esto(ed his e5uilib(iu4? He 0ould ha+e to do bette(? Get out 4o(e? Ta1e an inte(est? He 0as 4opin) a0ay /o( a Golden A)e that had ne+e( e9isted and li/e 0as passin) hi4 by?
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6illy- in the 4eanti4e- had )(o0n ti(ed o/ hi4? He3d had enou)h o/ this 2o1e(- s0ayin) about in the nonB e9istent b(eeEe and pullin) Cath(yn Joyne( a(ound li1e the 0o4an 0as a (a) doll? I Te((y- you3+e had enou)h- 4ate? Ah3ll )it ye a ta9i ha4e? I Ah dinnae need a ta9i- 6i((ell- Jui.e Te((y La0son said testily- pi.1in) up his )lass o/ .ha4pa)ne and sippin) it (oyally- I ah3ll 2ist hu+ a )lass ay .ha4pe(s he(e- then ah3ll )o? 6illy loo1ed stoi.ally at Te((y? The(e 0as no /(iendship- no histo(y in his )lan.e- and Te((y /elt its .hill? He 0as bein) +ie0ed as nothin) 4o(e than a potentially t(oubleso4e d(un1? No past? No And(e0 Gallo0ay? Li1e it ne+e( happened? Li1e the boy ne+e( li+ed? A0 aye- they3d said a /e0 thin)s at the /une(al- but they 0e(e still both in sho.1? A/te( that 6illy ne+e( /u.1in 0ell said anythin)? A/te( it happened- he 2ust /o.used on his /i)ht? The thin) 0as- be/o(e that /i)ht- Te((y 0as so p(oud o/ 6illy? 36usiness3 0as a na4e he used /(eely 0ithout pissBta1in) i(ony? His 4ate 0as )oin) to be the .ha4pion o/ the 0o(ld? 6illy 0as a 4a.hine? 6ut late(- 0hen that boy /(o4 ,ales did hi4- Te((y had /elt a 4ale+olent satis/a.tion th(ou)h his 0ounded p(ide? 6illy tu(ned a0ay? Te((y 0as a 0aste(? He3d )one do0nhill? Oh aye- he 0as still a 0indBup 4e(.hant but bitte(ness had )ot into it? He 0ished that he hadn3t .ut Te((y o// li1e that- all those yea(s a)o- but the 4an 0as a liability? A lot o/ people said that he ne+e( .a4e to te(4s 0ith Gally3s death? 6ut he- 6illy 6i((ell- 0as as upset as anybody about 0hat happened? 6ut you had to put it behind you- you had to 4o+e on? Gally 0ould ha+e 0anted it that 0ay- he lo+ed li/e- 0ould3+e 0anted the (est o/ the4 to )et on 0ith it- to 4a1e the 4ost o/ it? Te((y 0as a.tin) li1e he 0as the only one hu(t by 0hat happened- li1e it )a+e hi4 an e9.use- a li.en.e- tae be a /u.1in 0ide .unt 0ith e+e(ybody? Dou suspe.ted that i/ it 0asn3t Gally- he3d /ind so4e othe( 2usti/i.ation to be a .unt? O/ .ou(se he 0anted to tell Te((y that 0hen he 0ent into the (in) 0ith :te+e =o()an /(o4 Po(t Talbot- 6illy 6i((ell 0as (eady to tea( the boy apa(t? :o4ebody 0as )oin) to )et it /o( 0hat happened to Gally? ,hen he )ot into the (in) he 2ust .ouldn3t 4o+e? The thy(oid thin) 0as bla4ed- and it 0as a /a.to(- but 6illy 1ne0 he .ould ha+e done =o()an /(o4 his deathBbed? The /i(st (ound .lash o/ heads- the blood /(o4 =o()an3s nose? Then it happened? :o4ethin) about =o()an see4ed so /a4ilia(? He3d ne+e( seen it be/o(e- but no0 he sa0 it in pain/ul .la(ity? The .loseB.ut bla.1 hai(- the bi) b(o0n eyes- the sallo0 s1in and that hoo1ed nose? The 2e(1y )estu(es and the
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t(oubled- 0a(y e9p(ession? And the blood- t(i.1lin) slo0ly /(o4 that nose? It suddenly da0ned on 6illy that the ,elsh bo9e( 0as the spit o/ Gally? Nope- 6illy .ouldn3t 4o+e? He .ouldn3t th(o0 a pun.h? 6illy 1ne0 that the(e 0as so4ethin) 0(on)? He3d /i(st /elt it 2ust be/o(e he 0ent to =uni.h? He3d t(ied to .on.eal it /(o4 7onnie- 0ho3d t(ied to .on.eal it /(o4 the sponso(s? Fitness 0as all? 6illy (easoned that i/ you 0e(en3t /it- you .ouldn3t do 0hat it 0as essential to do in o(de( to 0in at any oneBonBone spo(t I be it bo9in) o( tennis o( s5uash I and that 0as to di.tate the pa.e? In a oneBonBone .ontest- .o4petin) at the othe( pe(son3s pa.e 0as de4o(alisin)- and unsustainable? That 0as 0hy 6illy (e.1oned that 0hen he stopped )oin) /o(0a(dhe 0ould be /inished 0ith the /i)ht )a4e? 6ut the(e 0as the 4atte( o/ this pa(ti.ula( =o()an /i)ht? His /utu(e oppo(tunities (elied so 4u.h on it? 7a0 p(ide .a((ied an e9hausted 6illy 6i((ell into the (in)? Di.tatin) the pa.e 0as out o/ the 5uestion@ the only .han.e 6illy no0 had 0as a pun.he(3s .han.e? And- 0hen the )host o/

Gallo0ay .a4e 0altEin) to0a(ds hi4- that had )one? 6ut he 0as too p(oud to tell that to Te((y- o( anyone else- too p(oud to tell hi4 that he 0as in sho.1 still /(o4 the death o/ a /(iend? Ho0 la4e and patheti. 0ould it ha+e soundedH A bo9e(- a p(o/essional- should be able to (ise abo+e that? 6ut no? Thy(oid and )(ie/ had .onspi(ed and 6illy3s body had )one and 0as not 4o+in) /o( hi4? That 0as his last ti4e in the (in)? It told hi4 that he 0asn3t .ut out /o( bo9in)? He 0as p(obably bein) un/ai( on hi4sel/- but 6illy 6i((ell 0as a pe(/e.tionist- an allBo(Bnothin) type o/ pe(son? ,hen the 4edi.al e9a4ine( identi/ied the thy(oid de/i.ien.y- and said that it 0as a 4i(a.le 6illy had 4ana)ed to .li4b into the (in)- he be.a4e an o+e(ni)ht he(o? Any0ay- the 6(itish 6oa(d o/ 6o9in) Cont(ol .ould not allo0 hi4 to /i)ht ta1in) thy(o9ine? They be.a4e the +illains? 6y popula( de4and- and a/te( an +(ening 2e%s .a4pai)n- the(e 0as a .i+i. (e.eption at the City Cha4be(s? Da+ie Po0e( and othe( sponso(s (ealised ho0 4u.h the tenden.y to ennoble )lo(ious de/eat 0as in)(ained in the :.ottish psy.he? The 6usiness 6a( 0ent ahead? 6illy loo1ed a(ound at the ai(y- spa.ious ba(- and its la()ely a//luent .lientele? As he 0as .onte4platin) his past pa(alysis- Johnny Cata((h 0as spu((ed into a.tion? Johnny had been lettin) )o so4e )assy- .he4i.al /a(ts0hi.h had been e4ba((assin) enou)h in the busy ba(?
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No0 he suspe.ted /ollo0Bth(ou)h- and 4ade a hasty lun)e to the toilet in o(de( to in+esti)ate? 6illy hadn3t spo1en to Johnny yet- and 0as about to say hello- 0hen Cata((h sped past hi4? I)no(ant .unt- o// his tits? ,hat the /u.1 0as 7ab doin) b(in)in) this lot he(eH Espe.ially La0son? 6illy loo1ed at Te((y- his al.oholBbloated /a.e- his .ha(lieBa((o)ant 4outh- spe0in) his bo4bast a.(oss the ba(- .ausin) payin) (e)ula(s to )lan.e a(ound uneasily? And the(e he 0as- 5ua//in) 6illy3s e9pensi+e .ha4pa)ne? This .unt had to )o? He 0as ? ? ? 6illy3s line o/ thou)ht 0as b(o1en 0hen he sa0 a 4an sto(4 up to the ba( and )(ab Cath(yn by he( a(4? I ,hat in the na4e o/ su//e(in) hell ha+e you been doin)H he de4anded in an A4e(i.an a..ent? 6illy and Te((y 4o+ed /o(0a(d as one? I F(an1lin ? ? ? ha+e so4e .ha4pa)neG Cath(yn s5uealed happily? 6illy ba.1ed o//? :he 1ne0 the )uy? I I don3t 0ant .ha4pa)ne ? ? ? I3+e been )oin) /u.1in) .(aEy ? ? ? you )odda4n /u.1edBup sel/ish ? ? ? you ? ? ? you3(e d(un1G Godda4n it- you3+e )otta sin) toni)htG I Ta1e yi( /u.1in hands o//ay he(- .untyba0sG Naebody3s sin)in the ni)htG Jui.e Te((y sna(led? I ,ho the hell is thisH F(an1lin as1ed Cath(yn in out(a)ed disdain? I This is the .unt that3s )aunny bu(st you( 4ooth- ya /u.1in (ad)eG Te((y snapped as he hit F(an1lin on the 2a0? The A4e(i.an sta))e(ed ba.1 on his heels and /ell o+e(? Te((y 4o+ed /o(0a(d to put the boot in but 6illy 0as in bet0een hi4 and his intended p(ey? I Dou3(e out o/ o(de(- Te((yG Git oot ay he(eG I That .unt3s oot ay o(de( ? ? ? Cath(yn 0as pi.1in) F(an1lin up? He 0as (ubbin) his 2a0 and loo1in) unsteady on his /eet? Then he sta(ted th(o0in) up? The(e 0as a .hee( /(o4 a bee(y .(o0d o/ (u)by types in the .o(ne(? 6illy )(abbed Te((y3s a(4? I Let3s tal1 aboot this- 4ate ??? He ushe(ed hi4 to the ba.1 doo( o/ the pub? They stepped outside to)ethe( into the s4all ya(d sta.1ed 0ith ba((els and .(ates? The blindin) sun shone o+e(head in a .loudless blue s1y? I Dou n 4e need tae hu+ a p(ope( blethe(- Te((y ? ? ? I It3s too /u.1in late /i( that- 6i((ell ? ? ? Te((y s0un) at 6illy 0ho easily sidestepped hi4 and /loo(ed hi4 0ith a s0eet le/t hoo1? As Te((y sp(a0led on the de.1- 6illy (ubbed at his 1nu.1les? He3d hu(t hi4sel/? That /at- stupid .untG
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7ab- Cha(lene- Cath(yn- Lisa and Post Ale. /ollo0ed the4 outside? Ale. lu(.hed up to 6illy? I A0(i)ht.ha4pH He assu4ed the stan.e and spa((ed /o( a bit- th(o0in) sho(t pun.hes at a stati. 6illy? Then he 0as seiEed by a +iolent .ou)hin) /it and leant a)ainst the 0all ha.1in) up phle)4? ,hile this 0as )oin) onCath(yn and the othe(s 0e(e attendin) to Te((y? F(an1lin .a4e up to the4 and shouted at he(? I I/ you don3t .o4e ba.1 to the hotel no0- you a(e )odda4n /inishedG Tu(nin) a(ound- Cath(yn s.(ea4ed li1e a banshee at hi4? I Dou don3t tell 4e I34 /inishedG Dou tell 4e nothin)- assholeG Conside( you( /u.1in) /at s0eaty ass /i(edG I Aye- that3s you telt- no0 )it tae /u.1G Lisa spat at hi4- thu4bin) in the di(e.tion o/ the doo(? F(an1lin stood and loo1ed at the4 /o( a 0hile? This .(aEy bit.h had been b(ain0ashed by a bun.h o/ :.ottish lo0li/es ? ? ? they 4ust be pa(t o/ a .(aEy .ult? He 1ne0 this 0as 0aitin) to happen? He loo1ed at the bad)e o/ 7ab3s st(ip? ,hat the /u.1 0as all this shit- so4e Celti. :.ientolo)ist b(ain0ashin) bullshitH He3d see about thisG I =o+e- 6illy 6i((ell said .oldly? F(an1lin tu(ned on his heels and sto(4ed o//? I Nae o//en.e- 7ab- 6illy said- loo1in) at hi4- then at Cath(ynI but 4aybe youse bette( thin1 aboot .allin it a day and )ettin) so4e sleep?

They loo1ed at ea.h othe(- then at 6illy? 7ab nodded and they pi.1ed up Te((y? Lisa shouted so4ethin) at 6illy 0ho loo1ed st(ai)ht at he(? He 0at.hed the4 lu(.hin) out- his b(othe( and one o/ his oldest pals- and shoo1 his head slo0ly? 6illy .onte4plated the di//e(en.e bet0een the li1es o/ the4 and hi4? They sa0 the .a(the .lothes and the s4a(t bi(d on you( a(4? They ne+e( sa0 the )(a/t- ne+e( /a.ed the (is1s o( /elt the an9iety? And so4eti4es he en+ied the4- 2ust to be able to let )o and )et /u.1edBup li1e that? It had been a lon) ti4e sin.e he3d allo0ed hi4sel/ that lu9u(y? 6ut he didn3t (e)(et 0hat he 0as doin)? Dou needed (espe.t- and the only 0ay you .ould )et it in 6(itain i/ you 0e(en3t bo(n 0ith a sil+e( spoon in you( 4outh- o( had the (i)ht a..ent- 0as th(ou)h ha+in) 4oney? Dou used to be able to )et it in othe( 0ays- li1e his old 4an- o( Dun.an E0a(t- Ca(l3s dad? 6ut not no0? Dou see the .onte4pt punte(s li1e that a(e held in no0- e+en in thei( o0n .o44unities? They say it3s all .han)ed- but had it /u.1 .han)ed? Not (eally? All that happened 0as ? ? ? /u.1 this? ,hat 0ould Gally ha+e been li1e no0- i/ he 0as still he(eH Gally3s eyes o/ten haunted 6illy? He sa0 the4 4ostly i/ he 0as
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sleepin) alone- 0hen Fabienne 0as ba.1 in F(an.e- an o// pe(iod in thei( onBo// (elationship- and he hadn3t )ot (ound to (epla.in) he( 0ith a lo.al +e(sion? The bi) eyes o/ 0ee Andy Gallo0ay@ ne+e( those li+ely- busy ones- but +a.ant and bla.1 0ith death? And his 4outh- open in a soundless s.(ea4- the blood pou(in) /(o4 itstainin) his bi) 0hite teeth? :till 4o(e o/ it had (un out o/ his ea(- past that )old stud in his lobe? The 4etalli. s4ell o/ it on 6illy3s hands and .lothes as he suppo(ted the li/eless head? And the 0ei)ht o/ hi4? Gally- so s4all and sli)ht in li/e- see4in) so hea+y in death? 6illy3s o0n 4outh had see4ed to /ill 0ith that 4etalli. taste o/ blood- as i/ he3d been su.1in) on an old t0oB pen.e pie.e? Late( he3d t(ied to b(ush it out- but it 1ept .o4in) ba.1? No0- in this ba(- all those yea(s late(- it see4ed to be the(e a)ain? Loss and t(au4a le/t its o0n phanto4 a/te(taste@ his sto4a.h 0a(ped and .(a4ped a(ound so4ethin) as unpliable as a .hun1 o/ 4a(ble? And then- the 0ay the blood bubbled out o/ Gally3s 4outh- as i/ 2ust /o( a se.ond he 0as b(eathin)- ta1in) a /inal b(eath? 6ut 6illy didn3t allo0 hi4sel/ that thou)ht- he 1ne0 Gally 0as )one and it 0as 2ust ai( in his lun)s es.apin)? He 4inded Ca(l s.(ea4in) and Te((y 0as pullin) at his o0n hai(? 6illy 0anted to batte( the4 both and tell the4 to shut up? :hut the /u.1 up /o( Gally? :ho0 so4e /u.1in (espe.t /o( the boy? A/te( a bit- Te((y .au)ht his eye? They nodded at ea.h othe(? Te((y slapped Ca(l? No- boys ne+e( slapped in :.otland? Co.1neys )a+e the 4issus a slap- that 0as 0he(e it .a4e /(o4- a )ood slappin)? This 0as a .lout- a .latte(? Te((y 1ept his 0(ist /i(4- it 0asn3t a lassie3s o( a poo/3s slap? 6illy 4inded that? It see4ed so /u.1in i4po(tant at the ti4e? No0- to hi4- it see4ed beyond both sad and si.1 and 2ust .o4pletely biEEa(e? It 0asn3t ou( bad habits 0hi.h (eally s.a(ed us@ 0e )ot too used to the4- they only 0o((ied othe(s? It 0as the odd- unp(edi.table- b(utal i4pulse you /ou)ht to (est(ain- the one that the (est ne+e( e+en sa0 and hope/ully ne+e( 0ould? 6ut they did 0ith Gally? :o4eti4es 6illy ne+e( unde(stood ho0 he 1ept it all in his head? He 1ne0 that pe(sonality 0as )ene(ally seen as a.tion (athe( than 0o(ds o( thou)hts? Lon) be/o(e he too1 up bo9in) he had lea(ned that /ea( and doubt 0e(e e4otions best le/t une9p(essed? They o/ten bu(ned all the ha(de( /o( the supp(ession- but he .ould do it? He had no ti4e /o( the )houl/est o/ the .on/essional .ultu(e@ 0hen su.h e4otion th(eatened- he bit ha(d on it as i/ it 0as a pill and s0allo0ed the ene()y
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that 0as (eleased /(o4 it? 6ette( that than )i+in) so4e othe( .unt the po0e( to dis4ande you( head? It no(4ally 0o(1ed- but it /ailed hi4 on.e? ,hen Gally3s )host .a4e /loatin) into the (in)? And it had .o4e ba.1 all too st(on)ly (e.ently? 6illy 0as thin1in) about Fabienne- thin1in) about his pa(tne(ship 0ith Gill/illan and Po0e(- and he3d ta1en a 0al1 in the .e4ete(y 0he(e Gally 0as bu(ied? He .a4e .lose to the )(a+e and sa0 a )uy 4utte(in) a0ay beside it? As he )ot .lose( it 0as li1e the )uy 0as tal1in) to Gally? E4ba((assed- 6illy 0al1ed on and dis4issed the thou)ht? The boy 0as p(obably 2ust so4e .o44unityB .a(e 2a1ey 4u4blin) shite? He didn3t loo1 the pa(t thou)h@ he 0o(e a tie and it 0as li1e he had a uni/o(4 unde( his o+e(.oat? It distu(bed 6illy? He 0as al4ost su(e the 4an had said 3And(e03? In all li1elihood 2ust the phanto4 i4p(int o/ his old )(ie/- but it t0isted a0ay th(ou)h hi4 li1e the 0eeds and +ines in the .e4ete(y?

Islands in the &trea6
Thou)h /eelin) the dull a.he in his 2a0- Jui.e Te((y b(i44ed 0ith +i.to(y as he st(u))led a.(oss P(in.es :t(eet 0ith one o/ Cath(yn3s suit.ases? He3d )et he( do0n the Gauntlet- and e+e(ybody 0ould see that he- Jui.e Te((y- 0as still THE FACCIN 6OD 0hen it .a4e to- 0ell- e+e(ythin)? It had been a 4ista1e thou)h- ha+in) a

)o at 6i((ell- he ad4itted to hi4sel/? It 0as a )ood- .lean shot- Te((y (e/le.ted in stubbo(n ad4i(ation? They say that a bo9e(3s pun.h is the last thin) that )oes? 6i((ell3s (e/le9es had been i4p(essi+e too- thou)h? =ind you- Te((y thou)ht- I34 /u.1in pished and you .ould p(obably see 4y pun.h .o4in) /ae the othe( end ay P(in.es :t(eet? No0 Te((y 0as pa(t o/ a 0asted .on+oy .a((yin) Cath(yn3s lu))a)e? Johnny and 7ab also had a .ase ea.hLisa and Cha(lene had so4e s4alle( ba)s? Cath(yn .a((ied nothin)? I I should help you )uys ? ? ? she hal/B hea(tedly p(otested? I =aybe 0e should )et a .ab ? ? ? Te((y3s head 0as buEEin)? They 0e(e all in the(e- Lu.y- 8i+ian- Jason- his 4othe(- all 2o.1eyin) /o( position? The (est 0e(e lost .auses- but su(ely no Jason? ,hy didn3t he ha+e a (elationship 0ith JasonH He3d pande(ed to the 0ee .unt? The Eoo 4y a(se- ah should3+e 4ade hi4 )o tae the /itba- he thou)ht? Too /u.1in dea( thou)h these days@ besides- the 0ee )uy had sho0n no inte(est?
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Te((y had to .on.ede that it 0as unde(standable- as he hi4sel/ 0as sta(tin) to (elate to the /athe( he3d al0ays hated? 6e/o(e- all he sa0 0as the basta(d3s a.tions- his .(uel- ne)li)ent sel/ishness- not the unde(lyin) (easons /o( su.h a.tions? No0 he 0as (elu.tantly .o4in) to unde(stand the4 in te(4s o/ his o0n 4oti+ations? The auld .unt 2ust 0anted a de.ent (ide- a hassleB/(ee li/e- easy 4oney and a bit o/ (espe.t? And yes- as a (esult he had t(eated his 0i/e and 1ids badly? 6ut the poo( basta(d had been bo(n into .i(.u4stan.es 0he(eby he .ouldn3t a..(ue the 4oneta(y o( so.ial (esou(.es to put the satis/a.to(y /inan.ial spin on thin)s? 7i.h 4en t(eated thei( pa(tne(s 2ust as 0ell o( 2ust as shabbily as s.he4ies? The di//e(en.e 0as that the .unts .ould 1eep the4 s0eet 0ith a bi) peyBoa/ i/- and 0hen- it all sta(ted to )o 0(on)? That 0as it? And they .ould do it i4pe(sonally th(ou)h la0ye(s? Te((y had to ad4it that the possibility that the 0ee 4an 0ould tu(n out di//e(ent 4i)ht not be a bad thin)? ,ould he be li1e Te((yH Te((y t(ied to loo1 t0enty yea(s do0n the line and see a .ouple o/ /it blonde bi(ds )oin) th(ou)h a lesbian se9 (itual in /(ont o/ a )(o0nBup Jason 0ho 0as the i4a)e o/ Te((y? Then he ;JasonLTe((y< 0ould 2oin in- /u.1in) one a/te( the othe( in di//e(ent positions be/o(e blo0in) his 4u.1? Then he3d peel o// the +i(tualB(eality )lasses and headset and be sittin) 0ith a li4p- lea1in) .o.1 in a s.abby (unB do0n (oo4 /ull o/ ta1ea0ay .a(tons- /ull asht(ays- di(ty dishes and e4pty bee( .ans? Te((y loo1ed /o(0a(d to the t0entyB/i(st .entu(y )ettin) p(ope(ly sta(ted? 6ut that 0as the he(edita(y s.ena(io? In the en+i(on4ental one he en+isa)ed the 0ee 4an as a spe.1y .unt 0ith a dull 0i/e and .ouple o/ s4all .onsu4in) a)ents as 1ids- in a 6a((att bo9 in the subu(bs? And she3d be the(e- Lu.y- +isitin) on :unday 0ith Ga01y /o( the (oast? It 0ould all be so ni.e and idylli. 0hen they3d see a (a))ed- pishBsodden 2a1ey /i)u(e sta(in) in the 0indo0? It 0ould be Post? ? ? Jui.e Te((y ? ? ? no- /u.1 that? He3d sho0 the4 all one day? He (an his hand th(ou)h his stillBthi.1 .o(1s.(e0 hai( and /elt sad that he .ouldn3t /eel 4o(e than sel/Bpity and 4a01ish senti4ent? He3d ente(tained loads o/ (e+en)e /antasies- 0hi.h sho.1ed and (epelled e+en hi4? Lu.y d(essed in a Hea(ts top 0ith nu4be( "$ :LAG on the ba.1 o/ it- and hi4 )i+in) he( an un)(eased one up the .hapte( and +e(se? 6ut she 0as no Ja4bo- she hated all /itba? It 0as p(obably his old 4an he 0as thin1in) o/@ indeed- 0hen inside Te((y3s head he 0as )oin) at it /ull pelt- he 1ept inte(.uttin) the s.ene 0ith i4a)es o/ his /athe( 0ea(in) a (idi.ulous 4a(oon (osette at a Hea(tsB7an)e(s :.ottish Cup /inal ba.1 in the se+enties? Fu.1 it- you
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should ne+e( analyse you( o0n si.1nesses too 4u.h- it only .o4pounded the4? I/ any .unt should ha+e )ot a pun.hin)- it 0as the )a01y .unt- the /u.1in lab te.hni.ian 0ho 0as sha))in) he(? And he 0ould ha+e as 0ell- had Te((y not been /u.1in) 8i+ian at the ti4e and the boy3s inte(+ention )i+en the4 the .han.e to )et it on? 6ut this /u.1in beanpole 0ith the lon) hai(- (ash o/ spots and the p(ot(udin) Ada43s apple? Loo1ed li1e one o/ these hea+yB4etal +i()ins /(o4 6onny(i)) o( the li1e- 0ho played (e.o(ds o/ 4aleBdo4ination /antasy and 0ho3d )o into /its and stutte(s 2ust tal1in) to a lassie? In /a.t- Te((y had subse5uently lea(ned that Lu.y had .hatted him up- at a 0o(1s ni)ht in Ci(1.aldy- the Al4abo0l? Te((y al4ost lau)hed out loud 0hen she .a4e (ound and that .unt 0as the(e- 0ith his hands by his sideopenin) and .losin) his /ists- as i/ he 0as )oin) to sta(t so4ethin)? :he 0as pa.1in) and )ettin) the 1id (eady? He should3+e batte(ed the )uy to a pulp be.ause he 0as ta1in) his 0i/e and his son a0ay? 6ut he .ouldn3tbe.ause all he .ould thin1 o/ 0as 8i+ian- ho0 he3d p(e.ipitated the situation to )et Lu.y to lea+e hi4- ta1e the (esponsibility o/ the 1id a0ay in o(de( that he .ould a.t the hu(t- dese(ted and abandoned one? And they3d played (i)ht into his hands? No0 he3d be /(ee o/ the (ed bills- the tenan.y- the .old silen.es /la(in) into +i.ious a()u4ents- the 4oans- he( desi(es /o( a house in the subu(bs and a )a(den /o( the bai(n so he 0ouldn3t ha+e to play in the st(eets o/ the s.he4e li1e Te((y did? Oh- ho0 he3d sa+ou( /(eedo4 /(o4 all the u)ly de.eit? Des0hen the doo( .losed- he .onte4plated his loss and had an indul)ent 0ee 0hin)e to hi4sel/- then pa.1ed up his o0n stu//- and- to he( ab2e.t ho((o(- 4o+ed st(ai)ht ba.1 into his =a3s house? He 0as sha1en /(o4 his thou)hts by a 0hine /(o4 Johnny? Des- that li)ht0ei)ht 0as /u.1in 0ell toilin)? I

Ah dinnae see ho0 ye 2ist .ouldnae boo1 anothe( (oo4 in the 6al4o(al- he 0as su))estin) 4ou(n/ully to Cath(yn? I I don3t 0ant to be any0he(e nea( that asshole F(an1lin- Cath(yn .u(sed? It had ta1en the4 a)es to /ind a (oo4 in a .ityB.ent(e hotel- e+en /o( Cath(yn Joyne(? No0 they 0e(e headin) do0n P(in.es :t(eet to Hay4a(1et and a s4alle(- but .o4/o(table- billet? As they .he.1ed Cath(yn in- Te((y 4used- I De 0i( pe(/e.tly 0el.o4e tae stey at 4ine- 0i nae st(in)s atta.hed- he told Cath(yn? I Te((y- you3(e a )uy? The(e3s al0ays st(in)s atta.hed?
/31

The Dan1 lassie 0isnae as da/t as she loo1ed but? I Jist sayin- Te((y +entu(ed- it3s dead nea( the Gauntlet? Fi( the 1a(ao1e- 1enH I I )otta )o to In)liston and do this sho0- Cath(yn told hi4? I 6ut ye sa.1ed the boy ? ? ? Te((y bleated? I This is 2ust so4ethin) I )otta do- she told hi4 b(is1ly? 7ab 6i((ell sta(ted d(a))in) a .ase upstai(s as the des1 .le(1 issued Cath(yn 0ith he( 1ey? I 6e telt- Te((y- it3s up tae Cath(yn- he said? I Aye- 0i3ll 4a1e the Gauntlet /i( last o(de(s in a /ast bla.1 e/ti( the )i)- Johnny said- and 0onde(ed 0hy he 0as pa((otin) Te((y as he 0as absolutely /u.1ed and 2ust 0anted to )et his head do0n? A/te( 0aitin) a(ound 0hile Cath(yn )ot d(essed- they piled into the st(et.h li4o that 7ab had .alled to (eB (oute /(o4 the 6al4o(al- and headed out to In)liston? Johnny sp(a0led a.(oss one side o/ the .a( and doEed o//? He3d been loo1in) /o(0a(d to (idin) in a 4oto( li1e this- no0 the e9pe(ien.e 0as passin) hi4 by as su(ely as the busy .ity outside 0as? Cha(lene 0as .u(led into 7ab3s side- en2oyin) he(sel/? Lisa and Te((y helped the4sel+es to d(in1s /(o4 the .abinet? Lisa .ould s4ell he(sel/ no0- he( top 0as di(ty and he( po(es 0ould be blo.1ed- but she didn3t .a(e? Te((y 0as babblin) into Cath(yn3s ea(- and she .ould tell that the A4e(i.an sin)e( 0as )(ate/ul 0hen she inte(+ened? I Lea+e Cath(yn alaine- Te((y- she3s )oat tae )et (eady? Just shut the /u.1 up? Te((y loo1ed openB4outhed in appeal? I Ah sais shut it- she u()ed? Te((y lau)hed and s5ueeEed he( hand? He li1ed this lassie? :o4eti4es it .ould be 5uite en2oyable bein) o(de(ed a(ound by a bi(d? Fo( about /i+e 4inutes? Inne(B.ity tene4ents )a+e 0ay to )(and +illas- 0hi.h be.a4e bland subu(bs and 4oto(0ay slipB(oads? Then a plane (oa(ed abo+e the4 and they 0e(e pullin) into the .a(Bpa(1 o/ In)liston sho0)(ounds? They had t(ouble sha1in) Johnny a0a1e- and Cath(yn3s se.u(ity 0e(e not a4used 0hen they sa0 he( entou(a)e- but they 0e(e so (elie+ed to see he( that they un5uestionin)ly issued e+e(y 4e4be( o/ the pa(ty 0ith ba.1sta)e passes? In the G(een 7oo4- they )ot stu.1 into the /(ee /ood and d(in1 as Cath(yn hid in the toilet- pu1ed and psy.hed he(sel/ up? Cath(yn Joyne( sha1ily too1 the sta)e at In)liston? It 0as the lon)est 0al1 to a 4i.(ophone she had e+e( had@ 0ell- 4aybe not as bad as the ti4e she3d sta))e(ed on in Copenha)en a/te( .o4in) /(o4 that hotel (oo4 +ia the hospital 0he(e they3d 2ust pu4ped the pills out o/
/3(

he( sto4a.h? 6ut this 0as bad enou)hF she thou)ht she 0as )oin) to pass out unde( the heat o/ the li)hts- and 0as a0a(e o/ e+e(y d(op o/ the a.hin)- )(i4y pain the d(u)s had le/t in he( unde(nou(ished body? Noddin) to the 4usi.ians she let the band st(i1e up "ystery Woman. ,hen she san)- he( +oi.e 0as ba(ely audible /o( the /i(st hal/ o/ the /i(st nu4be(? Then so4ethin) both pe(/e.tly o(dina(y and en.hantin)ly 4ysti.al happenedF Cath(yn Joyne( /elt the 4usi. and .li.1ed into )ea(? In t(uth- it 0as a no 4o(e than ade5uate pe(/o(4an.e but that 0as a lot 4o(e than she and he( audien.es had )(o0n used to- so in that .onte9t it .onstituted a 4ino( t(iu4ph? =ost i4po(tantly- a nostal)i.- app(e.iati+e and p(etty d(un1 .(o0d lapped it up? At the end o/ the set they .alled he( ba.1 out /o( an en.o(e? Cath thou)ht o/ the hotel (oo4 in Copenha)en? Ti4e to let )o- she thou)ht? :he tu(ned to Denny- he( )uita(ist- 0ho 0as a +ete(an session 4an? I incere 9o(e, she said? Denny nodded to the (est o/ the band? Cath(yn stepped out to )(eat applause and too1 the 4i.(ophone? Te((y dan.ed in the 0in)s? I I3+e had a )(eat ti4e in Edinbo(o3 City? It3s been the best? This san) is dedi.ated to Te((y- 7eb and Jahnny /(o4 Edinbo(o3- 0ith :in.e(e Lo+e? It 0as a /ittin) .li4a9- thou)h Te((y 0as a bit putBout that she hadn3t )i+en hi4 his p(ope( title o/ Jui.e Te((y? I It 0ould3+e 4eant 4ai( tae any .unt oot thai(e /ae the s.he4e- he e9plained to 7ab? F(an1lin Delaney t(ied to )(eet he( as she stepped o//Bsta)e- only to be inte(.epted by Te((y? I ,e3+e a )i)he said- as he pushed he( /o(4e( 4ana)e( aside? Cath(yn b(ushed a0ay the se.u(ity )ua(ds 0ho 0e(e (eady to inte(+ene? Te((y led the 0ay- st(idin) out a.(oss the .a(Bpa(1 to the ta9is- 0hi.h 0e(e 0aitin) to /e((y the4 to the

Gauntlet publi. house in 6(oo4house? Cath(yn 0as seein) thin)s .o4e to he( in po0e(/ul .la(ity- not on an intelle.tual le+el , she 0as so /u.1ed she .ould ba(ely thin1 st(ai)ht B but this 0as it- this 0ould be he( last )i) in a lon) ti4e? To the outside 0o(ld she3d been a pheno4enal su..ess- yet to Cath(yn Joyne(- the yea(s o/ he( youth had /lo0n by in a se(ies o/ tou(s- hotel (oo4s- (e.o(din) studios- ai(B.onditioned +illas and unsatis/yin) (elationships? :in.e the stulti/yin) bo(edo4 o/ the s4all to0n nea( O4aha- she3d li+ed a li/e on a s.hedule di.tated by othe(s- su((ounded by /(iends 0ho all had a +ested inte(est in he( .ontinued .o44e(.ial su..ess? He( /athe( had been he( /i(st 4ana)e(- be/o(e
/33

thei( a.(i4onious split? Cath(yn thou)ht ho0 El+is had died- not in a 8e)as Hotel in a 2u4psuit- but at ho4e on the toilet in =e4phis- su((ounded by /a4ily and /(iends? It3s as li1ely to be the people 0ho lo+e you 0ho p(e.ipitate you( de4ise as the ne0 han)e(sBon? They3(e less li1ely to noti.e you( in.(e4ental de.line? 6ut it had suited he(? Fo( a 0hile? :he hadn3t (ealised she 0as on a 4e((yB)oB(ound until she .ouldn3t )et o//? This sta(+ation shit- it 0as all about t(yin) to e9e(.ise .ont(ol? O/ .ou(se- they had all told he( that- but no0 she 0as /eelin) it- and she 0as )oin) to do so4ethin) about it? And she 0as )oin) to do it 0ithout the (es.ue /antasy /i)u(e 0ho al0ays sho0ed up on .ue 0hen thin)s )ot too 4u.h- 0ho .ould (e.o44end a ne0 date- o( loo1- o( .onsu4e( du(ables- o( a pie.e o/ (eal estate- o( sel/Bhelp boo1- (e+olutiona(y diet- +ita4ins- sh(in1)u(u- 4ento(- (eli)ion- .ounsello(- in /a.t anybody o( anythin) 0ho .ould pape( o+e( the .(a.1s so that Cath(yn Joyne( .ould )et ba.1 into the studio and on the (oad? 6a.1 to bein) the .ashB.o0 that suppo(ted the in/(ast(u.tu(e o/ the han)e(sBon? Te((y- Johnny- e+en 7ab- she .ouldn3t t(ust those )uys any 4o(e than the (est? They 0e(e the sa4e- they .ouldn3t help it- s0allo0ed up by that disease that see4ed to )(ip e+e(yone 4o(e e+e(y day- the need to use the +ulne(able? They 0e(e ni.e enou)h- that 0as the p(oble4- they al0ays 0e(e- but dependen.y on othe(s and.on+e(sely- thei(s on you- 2ust had to stop? They3d sho0n he( so4ethin) thou)h- so4ethin) use/ul and i4po(tant- du(in) those last /e0 days o/ d(u)Baddled nonsense? :t(an)e as it 0as- they .a(ed? They 0e(en3t 0o(ldB0ea(y o( blasQ? They .a(ed about thin)s@ o/ten stupid- t(i+al thin)s- but they .a(ed? And they .a(ed be.ause they 0e(e en)a)ed in a 0o(ld outside the .onst(u.ted 0o(ld o/ the 4edia and sho0business? Dou .ouldn3t .a(e about that 0o(ld- not (eally- be.ause it 0asn3t you(s and it ne+e( .ould be? It 0as sophisti.ated .o44e(.e- and it 2ust .hu))ed on? :he 0as )oin) to sleep /o( a /e0 days- then she 0as )oin) ho4e and dis.onne.tin) the phone? A/te( that she 0as )oin) to (ent a 4odest apa(t4ent so4e0he(e? 6ut /i(st she3d sin) to a publi.? Just one 4o(e ti4e? :o it 0as that Jui.e Te((y La0son and Cath(yn Joyne( duetted on Don*t Go Brea3ing "y $eart. ,hen they 0e(e announ.ed 0inne(s o/ the p(iEe o/ a (an)e o/ 1it.hen a..esso(ies supplied by 6ette(0a(e- they en.o(ed 0ith Islands in the tream. Louise =al.ol4son 0as hostile- espe.ially as she and 6(ian Tu(+ey had )i+en a )ood a..ount o/
/3/

the4sel+es 0ith You*re &ll I 2eed to Get By. I Fu.1in .(a0lin up that (i.h Dan1 .unt3s e(se- she said in loud d(un1enness? Lisa3s /a.e ha(dened- but she said nothin)? Te((y had a 5uiet 0o(d 0ith 6(ian Tu(+ey- 0ho too1 Louise ho4e? In /utu(e yea(s they3d say that Cath(yn Joyne(3s last )i) 0as in Edinbu()h- and they3d be (i)ht? Ho0e+e(- +e(y /e0 0ould 1no0 that it 0asn3t at In)liston- but the Gauntlet publi. house in 6(oo4house? I/ the In)liston )i) 0as a 0ate(shed /o( Cath(yn- so 0as the Gauntlet one /o( Te((y? ,hen they3d headed o//he3d delibe(ately le/t his 2a.1et o+e( the ba.1 o/ a .hai( in the pub? He3d ne+e( 1eep sha))in) .ool youn) lassies li1e Lisa d(essin) li1e a t0at? He (esol+ed to 4a1e 4o(e o/ an e//o(t to sli4 do0n- 1i.1 those HPa)enBDaEs0hiteBpuddin) suppe( and 4astu(bation sessions into tou.h? :o4e0he(e alon) the line- he (ealised- he3d lost a bit o/ p(ide in hi4sel/? And it didn3t ne.essa(ily 4ean d(essin) up li1e a poo/- be.ause 6en :he(4an 0as ba.1 no0? He3d had his /i(st one at ten? =aybe this 0as the indi.ation o/ a Jui.e Te((y (e+i+al in 4iddle a)e? Get a hai(.ut as 0ell? It )(e0 so 5ui.1ly- but a nu4be( one o( t0o e+e(y othe( :atu(day 0ould be .ool- i/ he .ould lose the 0ei)ht? 6uy so4e 6en :he(4ans- ne0 2eans? Do o+e( a /u.1in .lathes shopG =aybe a leathe( bo4be( 2a.1et li1e 6i((ell3s? He had to ad4it that 0as s4a(t? Ne0 Te((y- Ne0 Clathes? Aye- he3d be in that Tony 6lai( .unt3s Cabinet soonG That boy had it sussed- it didnae 4atte( 0hat you did- as lon) as you loo1ed and tal1ed the pa(t? That 0as all people in 6(itain 0anted- a sy4patheti. ea( /(o4 a 0ellB d(essed and 0ellBspo1en 4an? :o4ebody 0ho told the4 that they 0e(e all +e(y i4po(tant? Then you .ould sit ba.1 .ontentedly 0hen they shat all o+e( you and sho0ed you that you 0e(e /u.1in nothin)? It 0as the spin that 0as i4po(tant thou)h? A/te(- they planned to )o ba.1 to Te((y3s /o( a pa(ty? Cath(yn 0as e9hausted and 0anted to .(ash in he( hotel

(oo4? I I need the )odda4n hotel ? ? ? she 1ept 4utte(in) deli(iously? Johnny 0as .o4atose? No 0ay 0as that di(ty 0ee .unt 1ippin) 0ith he( toni)ht- Te((y thou)ht- slippin) Lisa and Cha(lene his 1eys and inst(u.tin) the4 to )et Johnny3s head do0n? 7ab and hi4 0ould ta1e Cath(yn out to the hotel and then they3d .o4e st(ai)ht ba.1 to his? 7ab 0asn3t too pleased- but Te((y /la))ed a ta9i and it 0as a fait accom!li. Lisa and Cha(lene al(eady had Johnny in anothe( one? As they .a4e into the s.he4e- Lisa 4inded that she had an auntie and a .ousin 0ho li+ed he(e? :he didn3t 1no0 the4 0ell? :he did 4ind/3)

as a 1id- .o4in) /o( spa)hetti hoops on toast? One o/ he( .ousins had died yea(s a)o- he3d /allen o// a b(id)e 0hen he 0as d(un1? Just anothe( youn) )uy 0ho 0ent out on the to0n- /ull o/ li/e- and .a4e ba.1 .old and dead? He( 4u4 and dad had )one to the /une(al? :in.e she3d last been he(e- the buildin)s had b(o1en out in a (ash o/ satellite dishes? Ad2a.ent to the bu.1et holde(- the 0all had been pished up a)ainst that o/ten that the .laddin) had been badly stained and it see4ed to be dissol+in) in pa(ts? :he didn3t 1no0 0hethe( he( Aunt :usan3s 0as this one o( the one behind? =aybe Te((y 1ne0 he(? Lisa sa0 that Cha(lene 0as totally /u.1ed- and she 0anted to )et he( head do0n? And that Johnny laddieF he 0as done in as 0ell?

-las9o": &'otland 5..7 26
6u.hanan :t(eet@ the sten.h o/ diesel /u4es and ,eed)ies /illin) the ai(- dis.onne.ted .u((ents o/ ha(shness that the ne0 shoppin) 4alls and desi)ne( bouti5ues see4 to st(an)ely a..entuate (athe( than .o+e( up? I .an3t e+en 4ind 0he(e Kueen :t(eet station is /(o4 he(e- it3s been so lon)? O/ .ou(se- it3s only 2ust do0n the (oad? =y 4obile doesnae 0o(1- so I .all 4y 4othe( /(o4 a payphone? :and(a 6i((ell ans0e(s? =y =a3s at the hospital? ,ith 4y Auntie A+(il? :he tells 4e ho0 thin)s a(e? I 4u4ble so4e shite /o( a 4inute then )o to )et the t(ain (ealisin) that I ha+en3t as1ed a/te( anybody- I ha+en3t e+en as1ed a/te( 6illy? 6illy 6i((ell- all those a1a3s@ so4e that he li1ed- so4e that he 0as nippy as /u.1 about? :illy Gi(l ;P(i4a(y<? :e.(et :5ui((el ;:e.onda(y<? 6i(o ;s.he4e 4ob na4e- a(sonist thu)<? 6usiness 6i((ell ;bo9e(<? It3s been a lon) ti4e? The best .unt I3+e e+e( 4et in 4y li/e? 6illy 6i((ell? No0 I need to 4o+e ba.1? I head (ound to Kueen :t(eet and )et onto the t(ain? I (e.o)nise a boy on this t(ain? I thin1 he3s a dee2ay- o( so4ethin) to do 0ith .lubs? A p(o4ote(H 7uns a labelH ,ho 1no0s? I nod? He nods ba.1? 7enton- I thin1 they .all hi4? 6(othe( in the a(4y that )ot 1illed- a )uy 0ho used to )o to Tyne.astle ba.1 in the day? Not a bad )uy- the boy3s b(othe( that is? I ne+e( thou)ht 4u.h o/ that .unt- I hea(d he (ipped o// his 4ates? 6ut I suppose 0e ha+e to be st(on) enou)h to li+e 0ith the /a.t that those .losest to us 0ill disappoint us /(o4 ti4e to ti4e? Gally3s /une(al 0as the saddest thin) I3+e e+e( been to? The only thin) that 0as st(an)ely upli/tin) about it 0as :usan and :heena? They
/37

.lun) to ea.h othe( li1e li4pets by that )(a+eside? It see4ed as i/ the b(i.1s o/ 4aleness a(ound the4- =( G? and Gally- had been e9posed as st(a0 and 2ust blo0n a0ay? It 0as only the4 no0? Det th(ou)h the shee( and utte( de+astation o/ it all they see4ed so st(on) and so (i)hteous? They had a /a4ily plot? I 0as one o/ the pallBbea(e(s and I helped .a((y the .o//in and lo0e( Gally into the )(ound? 6illy helped as 0ell- but Te((y 0asn3t as1ed? Gail- as she said she 0ould- stayed a0ay and 1ept Ja.5ueline a0ay? It 0as /o( the best? Gally3s old 4an 0as 4issin)- p(obably inside? =y 4othe( and /athe(- and the 6i((ells- they 0e(e the(e- in.ludin) 7ab 6i((ell and a .ouple o/ Gally3s /itba 4ates? :o 0e(e Te((y3s =a and ,alte(? Topsy tu(ned up? The bi))est su(p(ise 0as at the hotel- 0he(e 6illy told 4e that 6la.1ie /ae the s.hool had sho0n up? He 0as no0 the head4aste( and he3d hea(d that a /o(4e( pupil o/ his had died? I hadn3t seen hi4 in the .hapel o( (ound the )(a+eside- and he didn3t .o4e ba.1 to the hotel- but 6illy assu(ed 4e that it 0as hi4- standin) ste(nly in the (ain by the )(a+eside- his hands .lasped to)ethe( in /(ont o/ hi4? The )(a+el /(o4 the path )ot stu.1 in the t(eads o/ 4y shoe- and I (e4e4be( bein) annoyed about that at the ti4e? I 0anted to pun.h so4e .unt- 2ust be.ause o/ so4e /u.1in )(a+el in 4y shoe? It 0as an u)ly- .old 4o(nin)- the 0ind d(o+e into us /(o4 the No(th :ea- )obbin) (ain and 0ea1 sno0 into ou( /a.es? Than1/ully- the 4iniste( 1ept it sho(t and 0e shi+e(ed do0n the (oad to a hotel /o( tea- .a1es and al.ohol? At the do- 6illy 0as sha1in) his head- 4u4blin) to hi4sel/- still in sho.1? I 0o((ied about hi4 at the ti4e? It 0asn3t 6illy 6i((ell? He loo1ed the sa4e but it 0as li1e his /o.us and unde(.u((ent o/ po0e( had )one? The

batte(ies had been ta1en out? 6illy had al0ays been a to0e( o/ st(en)th and I didn3t li1e seein) hi4 li1e that? D+onne La0son- 0ho 0as .(yin)- 0as holdin) his hand in sho.1? 6illy 0as /u.1ed and he had a /i)ht .o4in) up? I had one o/ :usan3s hands in both o/ 4ine- and I 0as sayin) the old spee.h- I I/ the(e3s anythin) ? ? ? anythin) at all ??? and he( ti(ed- )lassy eyes s4iled at 4e- li1e he( son3s- as she told 4e that it 0as al(i)ht- that he( and :heena 0ould 4ana)e? ,hen I 0ent to the toilet /o( a pish- 6illy .a4e up to 4e and hesitantly sta(ted tellin) 4e so4ethin) about Doyle that I +a)uely )ot th(ou)h the d(in1 and )(ie/?
/3*

Doyle had .o4e do0n to 6illy3s .lub a/te( t(ainin)? He 0as 0aitin) /o( 6illy? I Ah thou)ht- he said/in)e(in) his s.a(- I this is d(asti.- he(e 0e )o a)ain? :o ah tensed up? 6ut eh see4ed tae be oan ehs ain? Eh said that eh 1ent ah 0is in 0i Po0e( n that- eh didnae 0ant any bothe(- eh 2ist 0anted tae 1en so4ethin)? Then eh sais tae ehs- 0i( you 0i Gally doon at Pol4ont3s that ni)htH 6ut ba.1 then- at the /une(al- I didnae (eally 0ant tae hea( this? Ah3d had enou)h and ah 0as sel/ish? A/te( =uni.h- a0 that shite- that 0as li1e a line I3d d(a0n unde( that pa(t o/ 4y li/e- that pa(t o/ 4y li/e in 4y ho4eto0n? I 2ust 0anted tae bu(y 4y 4ate and 4o+e on? The ni)ht 0e3d 0ent out- the ni)ht Gally 2u4ped- it 0as 2ust an oldBti4e3sBsa1e do /o( 4e- be/o(e I headed to London? 6illy du) his hands deep in his po.1ets- 4a1in) hi4sel/ )o a0 sti// and (i)id? I (e4e4be( bein) 4o(e st(u.1 by that than 0hat he a.tually said at the ti4e- as it 0as not the body lan)ua)e you asso.iated hi4 0ith? 6illy no(4ally 4o+ed in a /luid- )(a.e/ul- easy 0ay? I Ah sais tae hi4- 0hat3s it tae dae 0i youH Doyle said Pol4ont said thi( 0is naebody else the(e- it 0is 2ist Gally? Ah 2ist 0ant tae 1en i/ that3s (i)ht? I ,ell- ah 0isnae thai(e- ah telt hi4? :o- 6illy said- loo1in) at 4e- I i/ thi( 0is anybody else- 0ellPol4ont ob+iously ne+e( )(assed u4 up tae Doyle? I :oH I as1ed- sha1in) oot 4a .o.1 and sti.1in) it ba.1 in 4y /lies? As I said- I 0asn3t inte(ested? I suppose I still /elt a )(eat (esent4ent to0a(ds Gally- at 0hat I sa0 as his sel/ishness? :usan and :heena 0e(e the 4ain .on.e(ns /o( 4e no0@ as /a( as it stood 0ith 4e- that day 0as about the4? I .e(tainly had nae 0ish tae dis.uss /u.1in Doyle- o( Pol4ont? 6illy (ubbed his .loseB.(opped s.alp? I De see- 0hat ah didnae tell Doyle 0is that Gally belled 4e and as1ed 4e i/ ah3d )o doon 0i u4 tae see Pol4ont? 6illy let out a lon) e9halation? I ,ell- ah 1ent 0hat eh 4eant by see. Ah telt u4 tae lea+e it- telt u4 that 0e3d a0 )oat in enou)h bothe( .ause ay that 0an1e(? I .ouldn3t ta1e 4y eyes o// 6illy3s s.a(- /(o4 the ti4e he3d been s4ashed in the /a.e 0ith Doyle3s /lense(? I .ould see his point- he didn3t need that shite a)ain@ he had a /i)ht ahead? I thin1 6illy 0anted to 4o+e on as 4u.h as I did? I Ah should3+e done 4ai( tae tal1 hi4 oot ay it- Ca(l? I/ only ah3d 2ust 0ent (oond tae see hi4 ? ? ? At that point I .a4e so .lose to tellin) 6illy 0hat Gally had telt 4eF about hi4 bein) HI8? That- to 4e- 0as 0hy Gally 2u4ped? 6ut I
/39

p(o4ised Gally? I thou)ht about :heena and :usan th(ou)h in the loun)e ba(- ho0 it you told one pe(son so4ethin) li1e that- they had a habit o/ tellin) so4ebody else ? ? ? then it 0as out? I didn3t 0ant the4 hu(t /u(the(- 1no0in) the 0ee 4an had 2u4ped be.ause he didn3t 0ant to die o/ AID:? All I .ould say 0as- I The(e 0as no0t you o( anybody else .ould dae- 6illy? His 4ind 0as 4ade up? And 0ith that 0e 0ent th(ou)h and 2oined the (est o/ the 4ou(ne(s? Te((y- so bi)- /at and loud- see4ed to sh(in1- to di4inish in that (oo4? E+en 4o(e than 6illy- he 0asn3t hi4sel/? He 0asn3t Jui.e Te((y? The 5uiet- po0e(/ul ani4osity .o4in) to hi4 /(o4 :usan Gallo0ay 0as tan)ible? It 0as li1e 0e 0e(e 1ids a)ain and Te((y- as the eldest- had let that happen to he( boy? 6illy and I see4ed e9e4pted /(o4 he( (a)e at the death o/ he( son? In .ont(ast- she had this p(i4al hat(ed /o( Te((y- as thou)h he 0as the bi) .onta4inatin) /o(.e in And(e0 Gallo0ay3s li/e? It 0as li1e Te((y had be.o4e the =( Gallo0ay- the Pol4ont- the Doyles- the Gail- that she .ould hate? No0 I34 on this t(ain loo1in) out? It3s stopped at a station? I )li4pse at the si)n on the plat/o(4F +ol6ont I tu(n ba.1 to 4y $erald, the one that I3+e (ead about th(ee ti4es- .o+e( to .o+e(?

(dinbur9h: &'otland "?2 p4 Git He( :hoes Oa/G Git He( :la.1s Oa/?
In the .ab- 7ab hea(d Te((y 4utte( so4ethin) about Andy Gallo0ay- his b(othe(3s 4ate? 7ab had 1no0n Gally 0ell@ he 0as a ni.e )uy? His sui.ide had .ast a la()e shado0 o+e( the4 all- espe.ially Te((y- 6illy andhe supposed- Ca(l E0a(t? Ca(l 0as doin) o1ay no0 thou)h- at least he had been- and he p(obably ne+e( )a+e any o/ the4 a se.ond thou)ht? Gally3s /une(al had been 0ei(d? People you thou)ht 0ouldnae 1no0 Gally 0e(e the(e? Ga(eth 0as the(e? He3d

0o(1ed 0ith Gally in the 7e.(eation Depa(t4ent? 7ab 4inded Ga(eth3s 0o(ds? I ,e tend to be (athe( 4u(1y little ponds- .ontainin) 4any laye(s o/ suspended di(t and )(i4e and ou( )(eatest depths a(e sti((ed by the st(an)est o/ .u((ents? This- 7ab (e/le.ted- 0as the .unt3s 0ay ay sayin) that 0e .an ne+e( (eally 1en ea.h othe(? Ap in the (oo4 o/ the hotel- a 0ea(y Cath(yn /lopped onto the bed- and p(o4ptly slipped into un.ons.iousness? I 7i)ht 7ab- help ays )it he( in the bed- Te((y said? I Git he( shoes oa/? Co4plyin) 0ea(ily- 7ab de/tly eased o// one shoe- 0hile Te((y (ou)hly t0isted the othe( /(o4 Cath(yn3s /oot- 4a1in) he( 0in.e th(ou)h shut eyes? I Help ays )it he( sla.1s oa/ ? ? ? Fo( so4e (eason 7ab /elt so4ethin) (ise in his .hest? I Di( no ta1in the lassie3s t(oose(s oa/- Te((y- 2ist sti.1 the .o+e( o0e( he(? I Ah34 no )aunny /u.1in (ape he(- 7ab- it3s 2ist tae 4a1e he( 4ai( .o4/y? Ah dinnae need tae dae that tae )it ma hole- Te((y sno(ted?
//1

7ab stopped dead and loo1ed Te((y st(ai)ht in the eye? I ,hat the /u.13s that 4eant tae 4eanH :ha1in) his head- Te((y loo1ed ba.1 at hi4 and s4iled? I Dou 0i that 0ee Cha(lene bit? ,hat 0i( ye playin at- 7abH Ah 4ean- 0hat3s a0 that abootH Dou tell 4e? I Dou /u.1in 0ell 4ind yi( ain business ? ? ? I Aye? Dou )aunny 4a1e ays li1eH 7ab 4o+ed /o(0a(d and pushed Te((y in the .hest- /o(.in) hi4 ba.1 onto the bed and .ausin) hi4 to /all on top o/ the stunned Cath(yn 0ho )(oaned unde( his 0ei)ht? Te((y sp(an) to his /eet? He 0as li+id? He3d al(eady been )ubbed by one 6i((ell today and this othe( .unt 0as )ettin) it /o( the4 both? 7ab sa0 the si)ns and 4o+ed a0ay s0i/tly- Te((y .hasin) a/te( hi4? 7ab 6i((ell (an out the doo( and up- (athe( than do0n- the hotel stai(.ase? Cath(yn )(o))ily shouted a/te( the4- I ,hat a(e you )uys doin)H ,hat is thisH Te((y 0as )oin) to sto4p that .unt 6i((ell into the )(ound? He should ha+e yea(s a)o? In his /(enEied 4indthe 6i((ell b(othe(s be.a4e indi+isible as he .ha()ed up the steps in pu(suit o/ 7ab? As his 5ua((y (an (ound the bend in the stai(0ay- Te((y lun)ed to )(ab at hi4- but his 0ei)ht shi/ted and he lost his /ootin)- tippin) o+e( the (ail into the stai(0ell? As he .o0ped o+e(- Te((y 4ade a /(enEied )(ip at the sides o/ the baniste(? Fo(tunately /o( hi4 the 0ell 0as +e(y na((o0 and he be.a4e 0ed)ed in 0ith his bee(B)ut )i(th?

HE7E IT FACCIN I: THI: I: HO, IT END:
C(a44ed upsideBdo0n bet0een baniste(s- 0ith his hea(t beatin) 0ildly- Te((y .ould see the polished 0ooden /loo( o/ the hotel lobby- so4e /i/ty /oot beneath his head?

THI: I: IT
THI: I: HO, IT END: Then in a /lash Te((y en+isioned .hal1 4a(1s a(ound a s4alle(- sli)hte( body on the /loo( belo0 hi4sho0in) hi4 0he(e to /all- 0he(e the opti4u4 position to attain death lay? It 0as Gally3s outline?

AH3= JOININ THE CANT
IT :HOALD38E 6EEN =E A, ALONG 8entu(in) ba.1 do0n the stai(s- 7ab 6i((ell stopped- e9a4inin) the e9tent o/ Jui.e Te((y3s pli)htF his /(iend3s /a.e p(essed upsideBdo0n a)ainst the 0ooden ba(s o/ the hand(ail? I 7ab ? ? ? Te((y 0heeEed? I ? ? ? help aysG Loo1in) .oldly at Te((y- all 7ab .ould /eel 0as his o0n an)e(
//(

su()in) th(ou)h the lens o/ o+e( ten yea(s o/ petty hu4iliation- a lens 0hi.h 0as Te((y3s s0eaty- .o(1s.(e0B heided /a.e? And Cha(lene- a youn) lassie 0ho dese(+ed bette(- 0ho needed unde(standin)@ it 0ould be he( lot in li/e to ha+e he( p(oble4s snee(ed at by bi)oted .unts li1e hi4 0ho 4easu(ed a 0o4an solely by the speed in 0hi.h they opened thei( le)s? Help hi4H Help /u.1in La0sonH I De 0ant /u.1in helpH Ah3ll )ie ye /u.1in help? He(e3s a helpin hand- 7ab st(et.hed out his hand? F(o4 his t0isted +anta)e point upsideBdo0n- Te((y loo1ed in be4use4ent as 7ab3s hand .a4e to hi4? 6ut his a(4s 0e(e pinned? Ho0 .ould he )(ab itH Ho0 .ould he ??? Te((y 0as 2ust about to atte4pt to e9plain his pli)ht- 0hen to his ho((o( he (ealised that the hand 0as 4a1in) a /ist and it 0as .o4in) th(ou)h the ba(s st(ai)ht into his /(a4ed /a.e at .onside(able /o(.e? I THAI7E3: A HELPIN HAND- DA CANTG ,ANTIN ANOTHE7H 7ab s.(ea4ed? I FACC ??? DA FAACCHHNNN ? ? ? I ,hat does 6i((ell 4eanH 6i((ell 4eans business? =ind ay that oneH EhH ,ell it3s this /u.1in businessG 7ab s4ashed his /ist into Te((y3s teedBup /a.e a)ain? Te((y /elt his nose bu(st and a si.1enin) diEEiness /ill his head? He th(e0 up- his pu1e /allin) do0n the stai(0ell and splatte(in) on the /loo(? I 7ab ? ? ? stoap ? ? ? it3s 4e ? ? ? ah34 slippin 7ab ? ? ? ah34 )onnae /a0

? ? ? Te((y 0heeEed and .ou)hed in despe(ate plea? I OH =D GAD- ,HAHT3: HAPPENED TO HI=GH ,HAHT A7E DOA DOING TO TE77DH Cath(yn s.(ea4ed- /(o4 the stai( belo0? Cath(yn3s ob+ious ala(4- and the helpless- be))in) tones .o(nin) /(o4 Te((y- b(ou)ht 7ab to his senses? In a pani.- he )(abbed a hold o/ Te((y3s hips and 0aist and pulled? Cath(yn 4o+ed in to )(ip his le)s- as 4u.h to 1eep he(sel/ up(i)ht as to se.u(e hi4? Te((y 4ana)ed to 0ed)e his a(4s a)ainst the steps o/ the stai( and sta(ted to push up? He painsta1in)ly st(u))led and t0isted his 0ay to /(eedo4? G(applin) o+e( the othe( side to sa/ety- he st(ai)htened up and /ound hi4sel/ on the (i)ht side o/ the baniste(- b(eathin) hea+ily? Te((y )a+e than1s /o( all those yea(s o/ e9.essi+e bee(Bd(in1in) and ta1ea0ays? ,ithout the4 he 0ould ha+e /allen to .e(tain death? A lesse( 4an- body honed on e9e(.ise and diet (athe( than sloth- indolen.e and abuse 0ould be dead by no0- he (e/le.ted? A lesse( 4an? 7ab 6i((ell stood ba.1- both (elie+ed and asha4ed- as he
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.onte4plated his s0eaty- bleedin) /(iend- 0hose /a.e 0as s0ellin) up? J De a0(i)ht- TeEH Te((y )(abbed 7ab 6i((ell3s hai( and yan1ed do0n his head- bootin) hi4 in the .oupon? I Fu.1in )(eatG ,e3ll see 0ho /u.1in 0ell 4eans business no0- 6i((ellG Te((y )a+e 7ab anothe( ha(sh di) in the /a.e 0ith his boot? The(e 0as the .hoppin)B+e)etable sound o/ a 4outh bu(stin)- /ollo0ed by steady d(ops o/ blood onto the stai(0ay3s thi.1 pile? Cath(yn 0as on Te((y3s ba.1- tea(in) at his 4op o/ hai(? I :tap itG :tap it the pai( o/ you- )odda4n itG Let hi4 )oG Te((y t(ied to (oll his eyes ba.10a(ds al4ost in the hope that Cath(yn 0ould see the4 and (ealise that the situation 0as unde( his .ont(ol- but he .ouldn3t 4a1e eye .onta.t 0ith he(? ,hen he sa0 t0o uni/o(4ed 4en- one o/ 0ho4 he +a)uely (e.o)nised- boundin) up the stai(s- t0o at a ti4e to0a(ds the4- he .o4plied(eleasin) 7ab- 0hose eye 0as al(eady s0ellin) 0he(e Te((y3s boot had .onne.ted 0ith it- and 0ho 0as t(yin) to staun.h the /lo0 o/ blood /(o4 his 4outh? 7ab (aised his head as Te((y3s )ub .a4e into his si)hts? As he 0as about to let /ly he 0as )(abbed and bundled to a bend on the stai( by the t0o po(te(s 0ho had .o4e to in+esti)ate the /(a.as- one o/ 0ho4 Te((y had .lo.1ed as 5uite a tidy .unt /(o4 Nidd(ie?

*aberton Mains
He3d been on a payphone at the al4ost dese(ted station at Hay4a(1et /o( 0hat see4ed li1e hou(s- no0 p(a.ti.ally dest(oyed 0ith the ti4e di//e(en.es and the d(u)s .o4edo0n? His nose 0as blo.1ed .o4pletely/o(.in) hi4 to b(eathe th(ou)h his 4outh- and e+e(y ti4e he d(e0 a b(eath it t0isted and )ou)ed li1e b(o1en )lass in his d(y- ul.e(ated- th(oat? The (an1 0as e4pty? No ta9i had its si)n up? The Festi+al? The ta9i /i(4s see4ed to t(eat hi4 li1e he 0as so4e so(t o/ .o4edian- a hoa9 .alle(? E9hausted- Ca(l E0a(t be)an the soulBda4a)in) (itual o/ heapin) his ba)s up the stai(s? F(o4 the .o(ne( o/ his eye he sa0 a st(on)tanned a(4 )(ab one o/ his ba)s? A /u.1in thie/F it 0as all he neededG I Dou3(e 4a01it- =( E0a(t- the thie/ said? It 0as 6illy 6i((ell? All Ca(l 0anted 0as a /e0 (e.upe(ati+e hou(s be/o(e the ho((o( o/
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/a.in) his dist(au)ht 4othe( and his st(i.1en /athe(? 6ut the(e 0e(e no ta9is and than1 God /o( 6illy? I I34 /u.1ed- 6illy- the 2etla)? I3d been playin) at a (a+e 0hen I hea(d ? ? ? I :ay no 4o(e- 6illy told hi4? Ca(l (e4e4be(ed ho0 .o4/o(table 6illy 0as 0ith silen.e? I Ni.e 4oto(- he obse(+ed- sin1in) into the .o4/o(table upholste(y o/ 6illy3s 6=,? I It3s a0(i)ht? Ah hud a Ja)ua( be/o(e but? O+e( the (oad at the Cli/ton Hotel- so4ethin) 0as )oin) on? Ca(l hea(d the shoutin) in the st(eet? I D(un1s- 6illy said- .on.ent(atin) on the (oad? 6ut they 0e(e (e.o)nisable? It 0as ? ? ? .uc3 na%, surely no It 0as 6illy 6i((ell3s b(othe(- 7ab- and he 0as bein) .autioned by a poli.e o//i.e(? Ca(l and 6illy 0e(e en.ased in the 4oto(- only about t0enty /eet a0ay /(o4 0he(e it 0as all happenin)? 6illy3s b(othe( 0as in a st(an)e yello0yB)(een shi(t- 0hi.h 0as splatte(ed 0ith blood? Ca(l 0as te4pted to shout- to shout 37ab3- but he 0as too /u.1ed- too d(ained? And he needed to )et ho4e no0? He loo1ed a)ain and the(e 0as a 0o4an he +a)uely (e.o)nised ? ? ? but he .ould also see that .o(1s.(e0 heid and that s0eaty /a.e- shoutin) the /u.1in odds as usual? It 0as Te((y? That /at .unt Jui.e Te((yG The 0o4an see4ed to be tal1in) loudly and she 0as de/endin) Te((y and 7ab? E+en this poB/a.ed 2obs0o(th polis4an 0as de/e((in) to he(? Then the 6=, sped th(ou)h the a4be( li)ht and headed do0n the Hay4a(1et loop and ba.1 onto the Dai(y

7oad? :ettlin) ba.1 into 6illy3s passen)e( seat- Ca(l /elt a (i)ht .unt at not tellin) his old pal that his b(othe( 0as in bothe(- but he .ouldn3t 0aste any 4o(e ti4e? Ho4e@ .han)ed@ hospital? He thou)ht o/ the 0o(d E,A7T shouted in Te((y3s (au.ous tones? No? It had to be 6abe(ton- then the 7oyal In/i(4a(y? 6abe(ton? It 0asn3t his old house- it 0as his 4othe(3s house? He al0ays hated it- and only (eally li+ed the(e a yea( be/o(e 4o+in) into his o0n pla.e? Te((y? G(eat to 1no0 that he still /eels passionate enou)h about thin)s to be a .o4plete a(sehole? Fu.1in stupid .unt? 6illy?
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7i)ht he(e beside hi4- d(i+in) hi4 to the hospital@ Te((y outside in the st(eet- in bothe( 0ith the .ops? That old .li.hQ about the 4o(e thin)s .han)e- the 4o(e they stay the sa4e- /ilte(ed th(ou)h Ca(l3s ti(ed 4ind? Te((y? ,hen 0as the last ti4e he sa0 hi4H A/te( the /une(al? At 6illy3s /i)ht? Ca(l 0as 0ith Topsy and Cenny =ui(head? Te((y 0as 0ith Post Ale. and so4e othe( )uys? 6illy3s /i)ht- 6illy3s nonB/i)ht- he thou)ht- as he 0at.hed his /(iend in p(o/ile? Doyle3s hat.het s.a( had /aded o+e( the yea(s? 6a.1 at Leith To0n Hall that ni)ht but- Ca(l al0ays /an.ied that the(e 0as 4o(e to it than the thy(oid? 6illy see4ed haunted@ it 0as as i/ e+e(y doubt he e+e( had about e+e(ythin) e+e( in his li/e 2ust /looded his 4ind in that instant and .o4pletely pa(alysed hi4? He 4inded Te((y lau)hin) and snee(in) 0ith de(ision as he le/t and 4ade his 0ay do0n Fe((y 7oad? The(e 0as a b(a0l outside as so4e boys atta.1ed =o()an3s suppo(te(s 0ho3d .o4e up on a .oa.h? A boy /(o4 ,ales )ot badly )lassed? And he hea(d Te((y- that /at .unt La0son- shout ba.1 to0a(ds the To0n Hall- I That3s the 0ey it3s done6i((ell- at 6illy3s b(othe( 7ab- 0ho 0as on the steps- and he 1ne0 then that he ne+e( 0anted to see the /u.1e( a)ain? 6illy 0aited do0nstai(s 0ith :and(a- his 4othe(- as Ca(l di+ed upstai(s /o( a 5ui.1 sho0e(? He .ould ha+e stayed unde( the .o4/o(tin) 2ets /o( a)es- then 2ust /lopped into bed- but the .i(.u4stan.es 1ept hittin) hi4? and he e9ited in haste and put so4e ne0 .lothes on? B The(e3s no a pi.1 oan ye- laddie? :and(a said- s5ueeEin) his /(a4e as he 1issed he(? then did the sa4e to his 4othe(3s siste(? A+(il? It 0as )ood to see the4 a)ain? 6illy and Ca(l headed up in the .a( to the hospital? Ca(l 0as (abbitin) at 6illy? ne+e( sa0 Hea(ts 0in the Cup- 6illy- ne+e( e+en 1ne0 until a /e0 4onths a/te( that they3d 0on it ??? It sounded biEa((e no0? not to .a(e? ,he(e the lu.1 had his head been atH I Ho0 lon)3s it been sin.e Hibs 0on it then? 6i((ellH EhH 6illy s4iled and pulled out a 4obile phone and dialled a nu4be(? The(e 0as no (eply? Lit3s )et up that hospital- he said? Ca(l 0as dyin) a /e0 4o(e deaths in the .a(? He .ouldn3t handle seein) his dad- not the 0ay he /ea(ed that the old 4an 4i)ht loo1? A+(il and :and(a 0e(e bi)- .hun1y .a(i.atu(es o/ the 0o4en he3d 1no0n as a 1id? ,hat %ould his dad loo1 li1e- his 4othe( e+enH ,hy did it 4atte( so 4u.hH It3s .ause I34 in lo+e 0ith youthhe .onside(ed
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4ise(ably? He spent his ti4e su((ounded by )i(ls hal/ his a)e- /eedin) his e)o- his denial o/ the a)ein) p(o.ess- his o0n pe(sonal /li)ht /(o4 (esponsibility? 6ut 0as that ne.essa(ily a bad thin)H Not until no0@ but no0- be.ause he lo+ed his 4othe( and /athe( and needed to be the(e /o( the4- it su(ely /u.1in) 0ell 0as? It 0as no p(epa(ation /o( ti4es li1e these? Ca(l3s 4ind 0as in o+e(d(i+e? I/ it 0ould 2ust )et into ha(4ony 0ith his /u.1ed body? That 0as the (eal to(tu(e o/ d(in1BandBd(u)s han)o+e(sF the 0ay they pushed you( 4ind and body in di//e(ent di(e.tions? No0 Ca(l 0as .onside(in) the illusion o/ (o4an.e- 0hi.h e+apo(ates 0ith the passin) o/ youth? The u)liness o/ p(a)4atis4 and (esponsibility 0ill 0ea( do0n on you li1e 0a+es on a (o.1 i/ you let it? ,hen you sa0 the4 on the s.(een tellin) us to be li1e this o( do that- and buy this- and be that- and 0e sat at ho4e- .on/used.o4pla.ent- ti(ed and /ea(/ul- you 1ne0 that they3d 0on? The bi) idea had )one and it 0as 2ust about sellin) 4o(e p(odu.t and .ont(ollin) those 0ho .ouldn3t a//o(d to buy? No Atopias- no he(oes? It %asn*t an e9.itin) ti4e- as they .onstantly hyped it up to be- it 0as bo(in) and e9aspe(atin) and 4eanin)less? His old 4an3s illness b(ou)ht e+e(ythin) ba.1 to basi.s?

&li22in9
They had 4o+ed hi4? He 0as no0 in a (oo4 0ith th(ee othe( beds- but she sa0 hi4 st(ai)ht a0ay? =a(ia didn3t .on.ent(ate on the people in the beds- she 4o+ed to0a(ds he( husband? App(oa.hin) Dun.an- she hea(d

his shallo0- (a))ed b(eathin)? :he 0at.hed the thi.1 blue +eins on his 0(ist (e.ede into his hand? The hand she3d held so 4any ti4es- sin.e he3d slipped the en)a)e4ent (in) on he( /in)e( as they sat in the 6otani. Ga(dens at In+e(leith? :he 0ent ba.1 to he( o//i.e in the soli.ito(3s- li)htBheaded- (eady to /all o+e( e+e(y ti4e she loo1ed at it? He too1 a bus ba.1 to the /a.to(y? He told he( all the son)s that played in his head? No0 he 0as 4onito(ed by an ele.t(o.a(dio)(aph- the hea(tbeat t(a.ed by a )(een line o/ li)ht on the .athodeB (ay tube? The(e 0e(e so4e .a(ds on the lo.1e(- 0hi.h she3d opened and put beside hi4F

GET ,ELL :OON
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:O77D TO HEA7 DOA38E 6EEN ANDE7 THE ,EATHE7 and one 0ith a bu9o4- sho(tBs1i(ted nu(se .lad in sto.1in)s and suspende(s? :he3s bendin) o+e( a s0eatin)d(oolin) 4an in a bed 0hose e(e.tion is +isible 4a1in) a tent pole unde( the .o+e(s? A s4all bespe.ta.led do.to( saysF H==- TE=PE7ATA7E :TILL 7ANNING A LITTLE HIGH- =7 JONE:- only Jones is .(ossed out and E,A7T is s.(a0led alon)side it? Inside it3s si)ned- 3F(o4 the A010a(d :5uad- Ge((y- Al/ie- C(ai)y and =onty3? The boys /(o4 the old 0o(1s- lon) shutBdo0n? It see4ed 4o(e than (idi.ulous- the banality o/ the .a(d? =o(e li1ely they didn3t 1no0 the se(iousness o/ it all- the e9tent o/ it? The do.to(s had 0a(ned he( to e9pe.t the 0o(st? The(e 0as a 4o(e app(op(iate .a(d- sent to he( /(o4 ,3ullie and :and(a 6i((ellF THINCING OF DOA? And 6illy had .alled- as1in) he( i/ he .ould do anythin)? He 0as a ni.e laddie- doin) 0ell- but he ne+e( /o()ot the people he 1ne0? The(e he 0as? 6illy? He 0as he(e? ,ith :and(a? And A+(il? And Ca(lG Ca(l 0as he(e? =a(ia E0a(t hu))ed he( son- and 0as b(ie/ly .on.e(ned at his thinness? He 0as s1innie( than e+e(? Ca(l loo1ed at his 4othe(? :he 0as olde(- and she loo1ed so 0o(nBout- not su(p(isin)ly? He loo1ed do0n at the pa(.el o/ sh(i+elled /lesh and bone 0hi.h 0as his /athe(? I Eh3s still unde(- still asleep- she e9plained? I ,e3ll sit 0i u4 /i( a bit- i/ youse t0o 0ant a 0o(d- :and(a said? I Goan- )it a .o//ee- she u()ed =a(ia? =a(ia and Ca(l 0ent out a(4BinBa(4? Ca(l didn3t 1no0 0ho 0as suppo(tin) 0hoF he 0as totally /u.1ed? He 0anted to stay 0ith his dad- but he 0anted to tal1 to his 4u4? They 0ent o+e( to the +endin) 4a.hine? I Is it that badH Ca(l as1ed? I Eh3s )oin- son? Ah don3t belie+e it- but eh3s )oin- she sobbed? I A0 Ch(ist- he said as he held he( .lose? I Ah34 so((y ah3+e been so sel/ish? Ah 0is at a )i)- ah )oat he(e as soon as Helena told 4e? I :he see4s ni.e- his 4othe( said? I ,hy ha+en3t I spo1en to he( be/o(eH ,hy did you shut he( out o/ ou( li+es- sonH ,hy did you shut you(sel/ outH
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Ca(l loo1ed at his 4othe(- t(ied to 0o(1 out 0hethe( he sa0 bet(ayal- o( 2ust in.o4p(ehension in he( eyes? Then he sa0 it through he( eyes /o( the /i(st ti4eF she 0as a.tin) as i/ she*d done so4ethin) 0(on)- as i/ she 0as in so4e 0ay (esponsible /o( his /u.1Bups? No 0ay@ he .ould loo1 hi4sel/ in the eye and say that as /a( as that 0as .on.e(ned- he 0as a sel/B4ade 0an1e(? I I 2ust ??? I 2ust ??? I don3t 1no0? I don3t 1no0? I34 so so((y? I3+e not been 4u.h o/ a son to hi4 ??? o( you- he bleated- the depth o/ his sel/Bpity- o/ his sel/Bloathin)- stunnin) hi4? His 4othe( loo1ed at hi4- 0ith a )(eat sin.e(ity in he( eyes? I No? Dou3+e been the best son 0e .ould ha+e hoped /o(? ,e had ou( o0n li/e and 0e en.ou(a)ed you to ha+e you(s? ,e 2ust 0ished you3d 1ept in tou.h a bit 4o(e? I ??? I 1no0? I 0as thin1in) ? ? ? you al0ays thin1 that the(e3ll be ti4e tae .at.h up a)ain? Tae s5ua(e thin)s? Then this happens and you (ealise that it3s no li1e that? I .ould3+e done 4o(e? =a(ia 0at.hed he( son t0it.hin) and stutte(in) in /(ont o/ he(? He 0as a 4ess? All she had 0anted 0as the odd phone .all- to 4a1e su(e he 0as o1ay- no0 he 0as )ettin) all 0o(1edBup and sel/Bdest(u.ti+e o+e( nothin)? I Co4e on- son? Co4e onG she said- )(abbin) his head in he( hands? I Dou did e+e(ythin)? Dou sa+ed ou( ho4e /(o4 )ettin) (epossessed- sa+ed us /(o4 )ettin) /lun) out on the st(eet? I 6ut I had the 4oney ??? I .ould a//o(d it- he be)an? His 4othe( shoo1 his head a)ain- then let )o? I No? Don3t belittle it? Dou don3t 1no0 ho0 4u.h it 4eant to us? Dou too1 us to the :tates- she s4iled? I Oh- I 1no0 it3s nothin) to you? but to us it 0as the holiday o/ a li/eti4e? It 4eant so 4u.h to you( dad? Ca(l3s head pounded 0ith (elie/ at his 4othe(3s 0o(ds? He3d been too ha(d on hi4sel/? Than1 /u.1 I too1 the4 o+e( to the :tates- too1 the old boy to G(a.eland? :a0 hi4 standin) o+e( El+is3s )(a+e 0ith a tea( in his eye? The st(an)e thin) thou)h- 0hat (eally ble0 hi4 a0ay- 0as ta1in) hi4 to a ba( in Leeds .alled =o2o? ,hen

they played the li+e +e(sion o/ the &merican Trilogy at .losin) ti4e- and set the ba( on /i(e 0ith li)hte( /uel0ith e+e(ybody standin) to attention? His /athe( .ouldn3t belie+e it? be.ause until then Dun.an had ne+e( belie+ed that people o/ that )ene(ation- the A.id House )ene(ation- .ould be so passionate about El+is? Then Ca(l too1 hi4 to 6asi.s and )a+e hi4 an E? And he )ot it? He 1ne0 it 0asn3t- 0ould ne+e( be his in the 0ay that it 0as his son3s- but he )ot it?
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Ca(l 0onde(ed i/ he should tell his 4othe( this? That ti4e he( and A+(il 0ent a0ay /o( a 0ee1end in :t And(e0s? He too1 Dun.an to the Li+e(pool +? =an Anited )a4e- then to =o2o th(ou)h in Leeds- and on to 6asi.s? He3d told he( e+e(ythin)- e9.ept /o( the E? No- 4aybe no0 0asn3t the ti4e? =a(ia loo1ed at he( son- sipped he( .o//ee? ,hat 0as he playin) atH He had e+e(ythin) that he( and Dun.an had 0anted all thei( li+es- /(eedo4 /(o4 the nineBtoB/i+e- but he didn3t see4 to app(e.iate it? =aybe he did in his o0n 0ay? =a(ia didn3t unde(stand he( son- and pe(haps she ne+e( 0ould? 6ut 4aybe that 0as the 0ay it 0as supposed to be? All she unde(stood about hi4 0as he( lo+e /o( hi4- and that 0as enou)h? I Let3s )o ba.1 in? They (epla.ed :and(a and 6illy (ound Dun.an3s p(ost(ate body? Ca(l loo1ed at his /athe( a)ain- and an al4ost unbea(able ti)htness (ose in his .hest? He 0aited /o( the intensity o/ it to 0ane- but it ne+e( did@ it (e4ained a .onstant- un.easin) .(ush? Then Dun.an3s eyes /li.1e(ed open- and =a(ia sa0 the .(aEy li)ht in the4 that 0as his li/e /o(.e? :he hea(d a )(eat tune- sa0 a )lo(ious Cil4a(no.1 +i.to(y- e+en thou)h she3d ne+e( been to a /ootball 4at.h in he( li/e- and 4ost o/ all she sa0 hi4- as he al0ays 0as- 0hen he loo1ed at he(? The 0a(ped- 0o(ldly /lesh a(ound his /a.e see4ed to +anish as she 0as su.1ed into those eyes? Ca(l sa0 the 4o4ent bet0een the4- /elt the /lashba.1 o/ that .hildhood (edundan.y- that sense o/ hi4sel/ as su(plus to (e5ui(e4ents? He slid ba.1 in his .hai(? This 0as thei( 4o4ent? 6ut Dun.an 0as t(yin) to spea1? =a(ia 0at.hed 0ith si.1 d(ead as the )(een line on the inst(u4ent sta(ted to pea1 and t(ou)h e((ati.ally? He 0as in dist(ess? :he )(abbed his hand and bent o+e( hi4 to hea( hi4 (asp u()ently in a lo0 e9pulsion o/ ai(- I Ca(l ? ? ? 0hai(e3s Ca(lH I He(e ah34- Dad- he said- sittin) /o(0a(d and s5ueeEin) his /athe(3s hand? I Ho03s Aust(alia- Dun.an 0heeEed? I Fine- 0as all he .ould say? It 0as /u.1in) luna.y? Ho03s Aust(alia? Aust(alia3s /ine? I Dou should 1eep in tou.h 4ai(? Dou( 4othe( ? ? ? you )et you( 4othe( in an a0/ay state so4eti4es? Anyho0 ? ? ? it3s )ood tae see ye ? ? ? his eyes )lo0ed 0a(4ly? Ca(l nodded? I And you- he s4iled? The si4pli.ity o/ it all didn3t see4 as banal any 4o(e? 7athe(- it 0as all the sophisti.ation- the
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e4b(oide(y and e4bellish4ent and the .onstant sea(.hin) /o( p(o/undity that no0 see4ed the t(i+ial sha4? They 0e(e .ontent 2ust to be 0ith ea.h othe(?

$u')ed and

assled

Jui.e Te((y t0isted his head and loo1ed 5ui.1ly a.(oss the othe( side o/ Dai(y 7oad? 7ab 6i((ell 0as still /ollo0in) hi4- thou)h 1eepin) a dis.(eet distan.e? Hau)htily- Te((y tu(ned his ba.1 and .ontinued his st(ide do0n the st(eet? A ta9i /lashed past- i)no(in) hi4 as he stu.1 his hand out? At least he3d )ot (id o/ that A4e(i.an .o0- Te((y thou)ht? :he 0as .(ashed out ba.1 at the hotel- and she said she3d phone hi4 in the 4o(nin)? All he( bullshit about plannin) to stay o+e( in Edinbu()h /o( a 0hileF she3d be out on the /i(st plane as soon as it 0as li)ht? The odd d(un1 bobbed and 0ea+ed do0n the (oad? Te((y noted- 0ith )lee- a .ouple o/ tidyBloo1in) boys headin) do0n 6i((ell3s side o/ the st(eet- st(ai)ht to0a(ds the student .unt? =aybe he3d )et one o/ those pointless 1i.1in)s 0hi.h tended to be 4eted out disp(opo(tionately hi)hly on the st(eets o/ :.otland /(o4 so4e 0o(1in)B.lass 4ales to othe(s? Not /o( p(o/it- o( e+en to enhan.e 4a.ho (eputation- but al4ost out o/ a biEa((e p(oto.ol? 6ut i/ they )a+e the .unt a ha(d ti4e- 0hat 0ould he doH He3d ha+e to ba.1 the basta(d up? Let the4 )et a /e0 )ood shots in /i(st thou)h? 6ut no- 6i((ell 1no0s the4? He3s e+en shoo1 hands? They stand in .on/e(en.e /o( a bit- then head thei( sepa(ate 0ays- 7ab (esu4in) his pu(suit o/ Te((y? 7ab 6i((ell (ea.hed /o( his 4obile phone in the po.1et o/ his b(o0n leathe( bo4be( 2a.1et- and s0it.hed it on? He dialled the nu4be(s o/ t0o ta9i /i(4s he 1ne0 o// by hea(t? They 0e(e both en)a)ed? He put the phone ba.1 into his po.1et? 7ab 0as bad at 1eepin) the hu//- and 0as sta(tin) to /eel the e4ba((ass4ent at the situation- o+e(.o4in) his an)e( 0ith Te((y? He .(ossed into the 4iddle o/ the dese(ted (oad- standin) on the 0hite lines o/ noB4an3sBland? I Te((y- .34oan 4ate ? ? ? Te((y stopped- tu(ned and pointed his /in)e( at 7ab? I Dinnae thin1 you3(e )ittin intae 4a hoose? Di( as 0ell 2ist )aun ha4e- 6i((ellG

7ab shu//led in the 4iddle o/ the (oad? I Ah /u.1in telt ye- ah said ah3d )it Cha(lene- then ah3ll )o?
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,ho the /u.1 0as he- Te((y 0onde(ed? That .unt 6i((ell thou)ht that he .ould soo1 ba.1 in a/te( nea(ly .ausin) 4a death? I H444ph? 6a.1 o0e( yi( ain side ay the (oad- Jui.e Te((y La0son 4oaned- s0eepin) his hand th(ou)h his hai(? I Te((y- this is 2ust patheti.G C34oanG 7ab too1 a step /o(0a(d? I DI7 AIN FACCIN : DL- 6I77ELLG Te((y (oa(ed- adoptin) a s.(appe(3s stan.e? I Git tae /u.1 o0e( thai(eG 7ab tutted in loud e9aspe(ation- 2e(1in) his eyes hea+en0a(ds- be/o(e headin) ba.1 o+e( the (oad? T0o 4en 0e(e app(oa.hin)- this ti4e on Te((y3s side o/ the st(eet? They 0o(e leathe( 2a.1ets and ti)ht t(ouse(s? Thei( hai( 0as .ut sho(t and one had a p(o4inent 4ousta.he? Te((y hadn3t seen the4 until they 0e(e a /e0 steps in /(ont o/ hi4? I A 0ee ti//- is itH the one 0ithout the 4o0se( lisped? I This yin he(e3s 2ist as bad- he pointed at his /(iend? I ,haaatHG I Oh so((y- I thin1 I3+e )ot it 0(on)? I Aye- ye /u.1in 0ell did- Te((y snapped as he passed the4- but then sta(ted lau)hin) to hi4sel/? Ho0 did it loo1- hi4 and 7ab on opposite sides o/ the (oad- bi.1e(in) a0ay at ea.h othe(? He 0as bein) silly- but he 0as still shoo1 up a/te( han)in) upsideBdo0n and sta(in) death in the /a.e? And 6i((ell 0anted hi4 to a.t li1e /u.1 all had happened? Anothe( ta9i 0hiEEed by? The ta9i .unt3s 4u4py /a.e as he shoo1 his head )lu4ly- .(uisin) past Te((y? Then he hea(d a .a( stop o+e( the othe( side o/ the (oad? It 0as anothe( .ab and 6i((ell 0as .li4bin) into it? Te((y sta(ted to .(oss- but the .a( shot o//- lea+in) hi4 st(anded? He sa0 7ab in the ba.1- (e.edin) /(o4 hi4 do0n the (oad- /a.e set in a sau.y 0in1 and )i+in) hi4 the thu4bsBup? I FACCEN 6I77ELL 6A:TA7D:GG Te((y s.(ee.hed s1y0a(ds- as i/ pleadin) to a hi)he( po0e(? 7ab .hu.1led in the ba.1 o/ the .ab- be/o(e inst(u.tin) the d(i+e( to do a ABtu(n? They pulled up and he opened the doo( in /(ont o/ Te((y- 0ho loo1ed bitte(ly at hi4? I Dou )ettin) inH Te((y .li4bed 0ea(ily into the .ab- and 0as (esolutely silent 4ost o/ the 0ay out to the s.he4e? As they d(o+e past the C(oss- 7ab sta(ted lau)hin)? Te((y t(ied to /i)ht it /o( a bit- but .ouldn3t help 2oinin) in? ,hen they )ot ba.1 they /ound Lisa 0as sittin) up 0at.hin) the telly? Cha(lene 0as asleep on the .ou.h? I Dis )it Cath oa/ tae bed sa/ely thenH I Aye- Te((y said?
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Lisa loo1ed at thei( 4a(1ed /a.es- Te((y3s s0ollen eye- the blood on 7ab3s 2a.1et- his 4outh? I Douse been /i)htinH Te((y and 7ab loo1ed at ea.h othe(? I Eh- 2ust so4e boys )ittin 0ide oan the 0ey ha4e- Te((y said? :he 0ent up to Te((y? I Dou3(e a 4ess- she said- puttin) he( a(4s (ound his ne.1? I De should see the othe( .unt- Te((y (eplied- stealin) a )lan.e o+e( at 7ab? 7ab didn3t 0ant to 0a1e Cha(lene- but he )ot on the .ou.h 0ith he(- and into an e4b(a.e? :he opened he( eyes /o( a .ouple o/ se.onds to (e)iste( hi4- 0ent- I =444- and then d(i/ted o// a)ain- ti)htenin) he( )(ip a(ound hi4? 7ab let e9haustion ta1e hi4 into un.ons.iousness? Te((y and Lisa 0e(e still /eelin) a sli)ht buEE- thou)h sta(tin) to Eone o// a little bit- in /(ont o/ the /i(e? :oon they too /ell into a slu4be(? A sha(p- .hi(py insistent buEEin) in the (oo4 b(ou)ht the4 ba.1 to .ons.iousness- one by one? It 0as 7ab3s 4obile? Te((y 0as li+id? Could that .unt not s0it.h that /u.1in s.he4ie toy o//H 7ab t(ied to /ish the phone out o/ his po.1et 0ithout distu(bin) Cha(lene? It p(o+ed i4possible and the phone slipped out and /ell on the /loo(? 7ab s.(a4bled to it- )ettin) it into his )(ip? I Hello ? ? ? 6illy ? ? ? ,hatH ? ? ? Na0 ??? Di( 2o1in? Te((y 0as about to be(ate 7ab /o( lea+in) his 4obile s0it.hed on- but 0as int(i)ued that 6illy .alled? I I/ he3s phoned tae apolo)ise /o( ehs beha+iou( ea(lie( the day- tell u4 tae /u.1 o//G 7ab i)no(ed Te((y as he listened to his b(othe(? I 7i)ht ? ? ? 7ab said a /e0 ti4es- e+entually han)in) up? He loo1ed o+e( at Te((y? I Dou u(nae )aunny belie+e this? Ca(l E0a(t3s ba.1- n ehs auld 4an3s in hoaspital? I Dun.anH Te((y as1ed- 0ith (eal .on.e(n? He3d al0ays li1ed Ca(l3s dad? His head thu4ped? Ca(l 0as ba.1? Fu.1in hell? Ca(l? Inspi(ation /lashed in Te((y3s nut? He .ould /eel a s.a4 .o4in) on- and his 4ate needed hi4? Ca(l? Te((y )ot up- and le/t a )(o))y Lisa on the /loo(? It 0as bad /o(4 lea+in) a bi(d li1e that- espe.ially as they 0e(e a +ital .o4ponent in Te((y3s 3:hhG The :i9 :3s Han)o+e( Cu(e30hi.h he3d one day (esol+ed to 0(ite a boo1 on? This .onsisted o/- in o(de(F sha)- shit- sha+e- sho0e(- shi(t and shandy? The latte( 0as the pint o/ la)e( tops in the pub- that /i(stBpint in.h o/ le4onade 0hi.h ne+e( su(+i+ed

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the subse5uent (ounds? 6ut he 0ent th(ou)h to the bath(oo4- (an a 5ui.1 bath and )ot .han)ed? ,hen Te((y (eBe4e()ed- /a.e (ed 0ith the heat /(o4 the bath- Lisa loo1ed up /(o4 he( pla.e on the (u)? 7ab and Cha(lene 0e(e .o4atose a)ain on the .ou.h? I ,he(e a(e ye )aun- Lisa as1ed? I Gaun tae see 4a buddy- Te((y said- pullin) ba.1 the .u(tains to let the li)ht in? The st(eets 0e(e dese(ted but the bi(ds 0e(e sin)in) in the t(ees outside? He tu(ned ba.1 to Lisa? I Ah3ll no be lon)? Thi(3s a p(ope( bed up thai(e i/ ye 0ant tae .(ash oot- he s4iled? I Ah3ll phone ba.1 he(e in a bit? 7abG Te((y shouted? 7ab t0isted (ound and 4oaned- I ,hat ? ?? I Loo1 e/ti( the ladies? Ah3ll .all ye oan the 4obby?

The (nd
6illy 6i((ell 0as su(p(ised to see a s.(ubbed and .han)ed Jui.e Te((y La0son headin) do0n the .o((ido( to0a(ds hi4? Te((y3s eye 0as out? That 0asn3t 4e- he thou)ht- I pun.hed the .unt on the 2a0? =aybe he /ell onto it a/te( that? :li)htly )uilty- 6illy said- I Te((y- in .on.iliato(y tones? I They in thai(e- ayeH Te((y loo1ed into the 0a(d? I Aye? Ah3d lea+e the4 but? Dun.an3s no )oat lon)? =uh =a3s 2ist )one a0ay- but ah3ll 0ait he(e /i( thu46illy e9plained? I Thi( isnae 4u.h ye 1in dae- 4ate? A0 aye- Te((y thou)ht- and 0hat the /u.1 a(e you )aunny dae- b(in) the poo( old .unt ba.1 /ae the deidH That tossBba) 6i((ell 0as still t(yin tae play the bi) +i(tuous .unt? I Ah3ll 0ait /o( the4 as 0ell- Te((y sni//ed? I Ca(l3s 4a 4ate n a0? 6illy sh(u))ed- as i/ to say- suit you(sel/? Te((y 4inded that 6illy 0as /a( less sensiti+e than his b(othe(- and i4possible to 0indBup o( )uiltBt(ip in the sa4e 0ay? The only 0ay you .ould )et to the .unt 0as th(ou)h di(e.t insult- and then you (is1ed a pun.hin)so4ethin) he3d also been (e4inded o/ lately? Thin1in) alon) the sa4e lines- 6illy said- I :o((y aboot hu+in tae hit ye thai( Te((y- but ye hud a )o? De le/t ays nae option? Ye left ays nae o!tion. Hea( that .unt- Te((y thou)ht- does eh thin1 eh3s in /u.1in Holly0ood o( so4ethin)? Fu.1 it thou)h- Ca(l3s auld boy
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0as dyin)? It 0isnae the ti4e tae )o a0 da/t? Te((y e9tended his hand? I Fai( do3s 6illy- so((y tae a.t the .unt- but thi( 0is nae he(4 4eant? 6illy didn3t belie+e a 0o(d o/ that- but you .ouldn3t )et into that 1ind o/ shite (i)ht no0? He too1 Te((y3s hand and shoo1 it /i(4ly? ,hen they b(o1e o//- the(e 0as an a010a(d silen.e? I Any ni.e loo1in nu(ses abootH Te((y as1ed? I :een a .ouple? Te((y .(aned his ne.1 and loo1ed into the 0a(d? I Is that E0a(t thai(eH Eh3s still a s1inny .unt? I Eh3s no (eally .han)ed that 4u.h- 6illy a)(eed? O+e( he( son3s shoulde( =a(ia E0a(t .ould see 6illy 6i((ell and Te((y La0son- his old pals- standin) ba.1 in the doo(0ay at the e9it /(o4 the 0a(d? =a(ia and Ca(l .(ou.hed .lose( as Dun.an t(ied to tal1 a)ain? I =ind the ten (ules- he 0heeEed at his sons5ueeEin) his hand? Ca(l E0a(t loo1ed at the b(o1en pa(ody o/ his /athe(- sp(a0led unde( the sheets in his bed? Aye- they (eally 0o(1ed /o( you- he thou)ht? 6ut 2ust as this thou)ht /o(4ed in his head- it 0as o+e(0hel4ed by a su()e o/ passion /(o4 his hea(t 0hi.h li/ted (i)ht th(ou)h hi4- stoppin) at the a(. in the (oo/ o/ his 4outh? ,o(ds 0e(e spillin) out o/ hi4- li1e shi44e(in) )olden balls o/ li)ht- and they 0e(e sayin)- I O/ .ou(se I 0ill- Dad? ,hen Dun.an died- they hu))ed his .o(pse in tu(n- .(yin) and 4oanin) so/tly- a.hin) all o+e( and inside 0ith the unbelie+able pain and disbelie/ o/ loss- te4pe(ed only 0ith the (elie/ that his su//e(in) 0as o+e(? Te((y and 6illy stood outside in )lu4 silen.e- 2ust 0aitin) until they .ould be o/ se(+i.e? The(e 0as a (edBheaded nu(se and Te((y /elt his /e+e(ed b(ain be.o4in) obsessed 0ith he( pubi. hai(? In his 4ind3s eye he .ould see a pie.e o/ )(ey 4atte( inside his o0n s1ull- 0ith sil1y- )in)e( .u(ls spinnin) /(o4 it? The 0o4an had a s0eet- /(e.1led /a.e- and she )a+e hi4 a s4ile and he /elt his hea(t d(ip li1e honey spilled /(o4 a 2a(? That3s 0hat he needed- he .onside(ed- a .lassy 0ee bi(d li1e that to loo1 a/te( hi4? One li1e thatand one li1e 0ee Lisa- a bit 4ai( /eisty and )a4e? One 0as ne+e( enou)h? T0o bi(ds- both o/ 0ho4 0e(e up /o( it- but also into ea.h othe(? He3d be li1e that "an about the $ouse .unt in that old sit.o4? 6ut the bi(ds 0ould need to ha+e lesbian tenden.ies as 0ell? No too 4u.h soas yi3d )it le/t oot 4ind- he thou)ht- /ineBtunin) the /antasy a little?
/))

I Ho03s D+onne daeinH 6illy as1ed?

I :till 4ai((ied tae the Pe(th boy? 6i) :t Johnstone /an? Follays the4 e+e(y0he(e? The bai(ns a(e )ittin bi)? I Dou seein anybodyH I ,ell- ye 1en ho0 it is- ehH Te((y s4iled as 6illy )a+e an e9p(essionless nod ba.1? I Di(sel/H I 6een 0i this F(en.h lassie /o( a .ouple ay yea(s- but she 4o+ed ba.1 tae Ni.e at Ch(ist4as thai(e? Lon)B distan.e (o4an.e@ nae )ood- he said? They .a((ied on li1e that- until they /elt it app(op(iate to )o in and see Ca(l and =a(ia? 6illy put his hand on =a(ia3s shoulde(- and Te((y .opied the )estu(e 0ith Ca(l? I Ca(l- he said? I Te((y? 6illy 0hispe(ed to =a(ia- I Just let 4e 1no0 0hat ye 0ant tae do? O1ayH ,e .an )o o( stay he(e /o( a bit? I Dou )o ha4e son- ah3d li1e tae stey /o( a bit- she said? Ca(l /elt a bit 2ealous@ 6illy 0as doin) 0hat he should be doin)- sayin) 0hat he should be sayin)? Not that 6illy said 4u.h- but 0hen he did- it 0as usually spotBon? Cno0in) 0hen to shut the /u.1 up 0as a )(eat and unde((ated talent? Ca(l .ould sp(a// shite 0ith the best o/ the4- but so4eti4es- espe.ially at ti4es li1e theseyou .ould sense the li4its o/ bullshit? It 0as the li1es o/ 6illy- the ti4ely inte(+entionists- 0ho (eally had it sussed? I Na0- 0e3ll sti.1 a(oond? Till yi( (eady? Thi(3s nae hu((y- he told Ca(l3s 4othe(? They stayed lon) a/te( the line on the os.illos.ope 0as /lat? They 1ne0 Dun.an 0asn3t the(e any 4o(e? 6ut they hun) a(ound /o( a bit- 2ust in .ase he .a4e ba.1? 6illy .alled =a(ia3s siste(- A+(il- and his 4othe(- :and(a? Then he d(o+e the4 all out to :and(a3s? The 0o4en sat in 0ith =a(ia- 0hile the boys 0ent out- 0al1in) ai4lessly- /indin) the4sel+es in the pa(1? Ca(l loo1ed up at the dull s1y and sta(ted to .on+ulse in tea(less- hea+y sobs that shoo1 his thin /(a4e? 6illy and Te((y )lan.ed at ea.h othe(? They 0e(e e4ba((assed- not so 4u.h o/ Ca(l- but /o( hi4? He 0as still a )ad)e- a/te( all? 6ut th(ou)h Dun.an3s death so4ethin) hun) in the ai( bet0een the4? The(e 0as 2ust something, so4e 1ind o/ se.ond .han.e- and e+en Ca(l see4ed to sense it th(ou)h his )(ie/? He see4ed to be t(yin) to steady hi4sel/to .at.h a b(eath- to say so4ethin)? They sa0 so4e youn) 1ids- they 4ust ha+e been about ten- playin) /ootball? 6illy thou)ht ba.1 to 0hen they used to do the sa4e? He
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.onside(ed ti4e- (ippin) the )uts out o/ people- then settin) the4 in stone and 2ust slo0ly .hippin) a0ay at the4? The ne0ly .ut su44e( )(ass had that s0eetBandBsou( 0hi//? The 4a.hines see4ed to tea( up 2ust as 4u.h do)shit- (ippin) open toaliedBo+e( .(usts? The 1ids 0e(e /i)htin) 0ith )(ass- stu//in) it do0n ea.h othe(3s ne.1s- 2ust li1e they used to do- not e+en thin1in) about bein) s4ea(ed 0ith .anine shite? 6illy loo1ed o+e( to the .o(ne( o/ the pa(1- beside the 0all 0he(e e+e(ybody 0ent to /i)ht- to settle disputes 0hi.h had b(o1en out in the play)(ound o( the s.he4e? He3d batte(ed 6(ian Tu(+ey a /e0 ti4es the(e? TopsyCa(l3s 4ate? A )a4e boy but- didnae 1no0 0hen he 0as beaten? Cept .o4in) ba.1? That ta.ti. o/ten 0o(1edF he3d seen a /e0 )uys 0ho had done Topsy be 0o(n do0n by his pe(sisten.e and 2ust .apitulate on the se.ond o( thi(d ti4e so that they .ould li+e in pea.e? Denny F(ost 0as an e9a4ple? Hal/B1illed Topsy a /e0 ti4es- but )ot so si.1 o/ bein) atta.1ed o( pulled up that he 2ust )ot it o+e( 0ith- lyin) do0n to the boy? It ne+e( bothe(ed 6illy thou)h- he3d 1i.1 Topsy3s a(se e+e(y day o/ the 0ee1 /o( the (est o/ his li/e i/ the .unt 0anted it? A/te( the thi(d ti4e- Topsy had the )ood sense to .onside( that the lon)Bte(4 e//e.ts o/ the Do.to( =a(tin boot on the b(ain .ells 4i)ht i4pai( /utu(e e.ono4i. and so.ial oppo(tunities? He 0as a )a4e .unt but6illy (e/le.ted- 0ith a st(an)e 4i9 o/ app(o+al and .onte4pt? Te((y b(eathed in the da4p- /etid ai(- its /usty +apou(s tu))in) at his th(oat and .oatin) his lun)s? The al.ohol and .ha(lie bin)e had )i+en his i44une syste4 the dyna4o o/ a lo0 TB.ount hi+e( and he /an.ied that he .ould feel the tube(.ulosis in.ubatin) in his lun)s? The )(ey )ets in- Gally on.e told hi4? Not a/te( the /i(st ti4e- but the se.ond ti4e- 0hen he3d done that ei)hteen 4onths in :au)hton? ,hen Gally .a4e out he said he3d /elt pa(t o/ the )(ey 4atte( in his b(ain settin) into b(eeEeBblo.1 .on.(ete? Te((y thou)ht o/ hi4sel/@ yes- the(e 0e(e no0 so4e )(ey hai(s in the te4ples o/ that b(o0n .o(1s.(e0? The )(ey )ets in? The s.he4e- the )o+e(n4ent e4ploy4ent s.he4e- the dole o//i.e- the /a.to(y- the 2ail? To)ethe( they .(eated a s5ualid stin1 o/ lo0 e9pe.tation 0hi.h .ould .ho1e the li/e out o/ you i/ you let it? The(e 0as a ti4e 0hen Te((y /elt that he .ould 1eep it all at bay- 0hen the 0eapon(y in his so.ial a(senal see4ed substantial enou)h to 2ust blo0 bi) Te.hni.olo( holes in it all? That 0as 0hen he 0as Jui.e Te((y- 0ideo- /anny 4e(.hant- and he .ould s1ate abo+e the i.e as de/tly as
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To(+ill and Dean? 6ut st(u))le- su(+i+al- they 0e(e a youn) .unt3s )a4e? He 1ne0 so4e o/ the4- the youn) tea4- and ho0 they no0 held hi4 in the sa4e a//e.tionate .onte4pt 0ith 0hi.h he had (e)a(ded Post Ale.-

No0 the i.e 0as 4eltin) and he 0as sin1in) /ast? 6e.o4in) one 0ith the )(ey? Lu.y had told hi4 about the p(oble4s thei( son 0as ha+in) at s.hool? Li1e /athe( ??? it 0as the unspo1en asse(tion on he( lips? He thou)ht o/ his o0n /athe(- as est(an)ed /(o4 hi4 as he 0as /(o4 his son? Te((y had a si.1enin)- 4atu(e (e/le.tion that the(e 0as nothin) he .ould do to be a 4o(e positi+e in/luen.e on the 1id3s li/e? :till- he had to t(y? At least Jason had hi4- poo( basta(d? Ja.5ueline didn3t ha+e Gally? Ca(l 0as )ettin) his b(eathin) unde( .ont(ol? The ai( s4elt s0eet and st(an)e- yet .o44on to his e9pe(ien.e? The pa(1 see4ed /a4ilia( and di//e(ent- all at on.e? Te((y3s )lan.e 0as a plea /o( a//i(4ation? 6illy 0as lost in thou)ht- but it 0as li1e he 0as )(opin) /o( so4ethin)? He loo1ed to Ca(l 0ho nodded at hi4? 6illy be)an to spea1 slo0ly and delibe(ately- loo1in) at the b(o1en )lass and the pu(ple tin at his /eet? BB Funny- he be)an- as i/ he 0e(e a la0ye(- I e/ti( it a0 .a4e oot? Doyle .a4e doon tae the )y4? Ah )oat in the .a( 0i hi4? Eh said tae ays- 4a 4ate3s soundin li1e a Dale1? Dou( 4ate3s lu.1y eh3s deid? It disnae need tae )o any /u(the( no0? 6illy shot ha(d- alte(nate )lan.es at Ca(l then Te((y- then Ca(l a)ain? I Tell ays- Ca(l- you 0i(nae thai(e that ni)ht- (oond at =.=u((ay3s- 0i( yeH I De 4ean 0i Gally li1esH Ca(l as1ed? He 0as thin1in) ba.1 to the /une(al? 6illy had 4entioned this? 6illy nodded? I Nup? Ah didnae 1en that =.=u((ay had been done that 0ee1end? Ah 2ust thoat 0e 0i( oot on the pish- ah didnae hu+ any idea that Gally did that? Te((y shudde(ed inside? He had ne+e( belie+ed that .on/ession 0as )ood /o( the soul? G(o0in) up in poli.e inte((o)ation (oo4s had tau)ht hi4 that 1eepin) ti)htBlipped 0as the best poli.y? The di.e 0as loaded a)ainst you 0hen it .a4e to o//i.ialdo4? The 0ay 0as to tell the4 /u.1 all- and only that i/ they beat it out o/ you? 6ut so4ethin) 0as happenin)@ the pie.es o/ the .i(.u4stan.es o/ Gally3s death 0e(e .o4in) to)ethe(? Te((y3s head 0as buEEin)?
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Loo1in) at Ca(l and then 6illy- he said 5uietly- I Ah 0ent (oond tae Pol4ont3s that ni)ht 0i Gally? 6illy shot a )lan.e at Ca(l- and they both loo1ed ba.1 at Te((y? Clea(in) his th(oat- Te((y .ontinued- I Ah didnae 1no0 eh )oat in tou.h 0i you /i(st- 6illy? It 4ust3+e been e/ti( you telt u4 tae lea+e it? ,e 0ent /o( a d(in1- n ah t(ied tae tal1 u4 oot ay daein anythin)? ,e only had a .ouple- doon the ,heatshea/- but ah 1ent that Gally3s 4ind 0as 4ade up to .on/(ont =.=u((ay? Ah 0anted tae be thai(e- .ause? ? ? I De 0anted tae ba.1 up yi( 4ate- Ca(l /inished the senten.e /o( hi4- loo1in) .oldly at 6illy? I 6a.1 up 4a 4ateH HaG Te((y lau)hed bitte(ly- tea(s 0ellin) in his eyes? I I /u.1in 0ell shat a0 o0e( 4a 4ateG I ,hat ye oan aboot- Te((yH Ca(l .(ied- I ye 0ent doon thai(e tae ba.1 u4 upG I :hut up- Ca(l- )it intae the /u.1in (eal 0o(ldG Ah 0ent thai(e .ause ah 0anted tae hea( 0hit 0is )aunny be said bet0een they t0o- be.ause ? ? ? be.ause thi( 0is thin)s thit ah didnae 0ant =.=u((ay tae say tae Gally ??? i/ eh telt Gally ??? ah 2ist .ouldnae hu+ it? I Dou /u.1in ? ? ? you /u.1in ? ? ? 6illy 0heeEed? Ca(l put his hand on his shoulde(? I Cal4 doon- 6illy- listen tae Te((y? I Thi( 0is thin)s 0i 4e n Gail- Te((y .ou)hed- I =.=u((ay n he( hud split up .ause ah 0is? ? ? but it hud been )aun oan /i( yea(s? Ah didnae 0ant Gally tae 1en? Gally 0is 4a 4ateG I De should3+e /u.1in 0ell thoat ay that 0hen ye 0i( sha))in ehs 0i/e e+e(y ti4e his ba.1 0as tu(ned- ya .unt- 6illy spat? Te((y (aised his head to the s1y? He see4ed in )(eat pain? I Just listen- Ca(l pleaded 0ith 6illy? I Te((y- he u()ed? 6ut Te((y .ouldn3t be stopped no0? It 0ould ha+e been li1e t(yin) to s5ueeEe toothpaste ba.1 into a tube? I Gally too1 the .(ossbo0- 0(apped it in a bla.1 binBline(? He 0as )aunny dae =.=u((ay? Ah 4ean (eally dae the .unt? It 0is li1e eh didnae .a(e aboot anythin) else? It 0is li1e eh hud nothin) to lose? Ca(l s0allo0ed ha(d? He3d said to Gally that he3d ne+e( tell anybody about the HI8? I Aye- Te((y .ou)hed- I Gally 0is di//e(ent? :o4ethin) had .(a.1ed in u4? =ind ho0 eh 0is in =uni.hH Eh 0is 0o(se that ni)ht- /u.1in de(an)ed the .unt 0is- he tapped his head? I The 0ey eh sa0 it- =.=u((ay too1 ehs libe(ty- ehs 0i/e- ehs bai(n? =ade hi4 hu(t the
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bai(n? Ah t(ied tae tal1 hi4 oot ay it- Te((y said- no0 0hinin)- I but 1en 0hatH Cen 0hat 1ind ay .unt ah a4H Pa(t ay ays thou)ht that i/ eh )oes thai( n does =.=u((ay- then it3s a0(i)ht? It3s a /u.1in (esult? 6illy loo1ed a0ay? Te((y .len.hed his teeth? His nails du) into and s.(apped alon) the )(een paint o/ the pa(1 ben.h? I De 1en

the state eh 0is in thenH De (e4e4be( the pe(( .unt3s state ay 4indH As- da/t laddies- 2o1in n d(in1in- 0hile that pe(( .unt 0is .(a.1in up ??? .ause ay 4e? Ca(l .losed his eyes and (aised his hand? I Cause ay Pol4ont- Te((y? It 0isnae you she le/t u4 /i(- it 0is Pol4ont? =ind that? It 0isnae (i)ht 0hat ye did- but she didnae lea+e hi4 .ause you 0i( sha))in he(? :he le/t hi4 /i( Pol4ont? I That3s (i)ht- Te((y- 1eep it in pe(spe.ti+e- 6illy said- and (ea.hed out and pulled on his slee+e- loo1in) a0ay- be/o(e as1in)F I ,hat happened thai(e- 4ateH I The /unny thin) 0is- Te((y be)an- I 0e thou)ht 0e3d hu+ tae 1i.1 the doo( doon? 6ut na0- Pol4ont 2ust opened it and let us in? He 0al1ed th(ou)h- li1e eh e9pe.ted us? 3A0 it3s youse-3 eh )oes? 3=oan in?3 I Ah 4ean- 0e 2ist loo1ed at ea.h othe(? Ah 0is e9pe.tin the Doyles tae be thai(- e9pe.tin so4e 1ind ay t(ap? Li1e a bi) /u.1in a4bush? Gally see4ed tae /(eeEe? Ah too1 the binBline( oa/ u4? Gie3s that- ah telt u4? I Pol4ont ??? eh- =.=u((ay but- eh 0is in the 1it.hen oan ehs tod- 4a1in so4e .o//ee? Cool as /u.1@ no e+en .ool- 4ai( (esi)ned? 3Ah34 )led yis .a4e alon)-3 eh telt us? 3It3s ti4e 0i so(ted a0 this oot-3 eh )oes- but eh3s loo1in at 4e (athe( thin Gally? I Gally loo1ed at 4e- a0 .on/used? This 0isnae 0hat eh e9pe.ted? It 0isnae 0hat ah e9pe.ted? Ah 0is shitein it? It 0is )uilt- but it 0is 4ai( thin that? It 0as the thou)ht ay Gally hatin ays- us no bein 4ates any 4ai(? Eh 0is sta(tin tae tipple so4ethin) 0is up? I Then =.=u((ay loo1ed at u4? 3Dou did ti4e /o( 0hat ah did- n ye ne+e( )(assed ays3- eh said tae Gally? 3Then ah too1 up 0i yi( bi(d ? ? ?3 I Gally loo1ed at hi4- stood thai( )la(in in sho.1? It 0is li1e the .unt3d ta1en a0 the 0o(ds oot ay the pe(( /u.1e(3s 4ooth- stolen ehs bi) /u.1in spee.h? I Pol4ont 0isnae )loatin but- it 0is li1e eh 0is t(yin tae e9plain? 6ut- 4e- ah didnae 0ant u4 tae e9plain? Ah 0anted ehs 4ooth shut? 6ut eh 0ent oan aboot ehs =a- tellin Gally aboot the ni)ht 0ay ba.1- ootside Clouds? Ehs =a hud died ea(lie( that yea(- eh said? ,i .an.e(?
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:he 0is 2ist thi(tyBei)ht? Ah 4ean- Te((y said- I ah3ll be that a)e ne9t yea(? 6ut eh 1ept )aun oan aboot it? Eh telt ays thit he 2ist 0ent 4ental? That eh lost it? That eh didnae )ie a /u.1 aboot anybody ??? eh 0is a youn) laddie ? ? ? I N Gally spo1e up at last- eh )oes- 3Ah did ti4e /o( you? =a bi(d- 4a dau)hte(3s 0i youG3 eh s5uealed in pain? I 3Di( bi(d isnae 0i 4e? :he3s a0ay? Too1 the bai(n-3 eh says- loo1in st(ai)ht at 4e? I Gally )oes- 3,hat a(e ye oan aboot ? ? ?H3 I Ah sha1es the binBline(? 3Eh3s bullshittin ye- Gally-3 ah telt the .unt? 3Fu.1in bullshittin yeG Gie the .unt itG3 I Pol4ont i)no(es 4e- tu(ns tae Gally? 3Ah lo+ed he(? :he 0is a .o0- but ah lo+ed he(? :till do? Ah lo+e the 0ee lassie n a0- she3s a )(eat 0ee bai(n? Lo+e he( li1e she3s 4a ain ? ? ?3 I Gally )ot (ad)e at this? 3:he3s no you( ainG3 Eh stepped /o(0a(d? Te((y stopped- s0allo0ed ha(d? Ca(l sta(ted to shi+e(- put his hands to his head? 6illy loo1ed not so 4u.h at Te((y as into hi4- t(yin) to see his soul- t(yin) to see the t(uth? Te((y too1 a deep b(eath? His hands shoo1 in /(ont o/ hi4? I Pol4ont 0as )aunny say it then- ah 1ent 0hat eh 0is )aunny say tae Gally in /(ont ay 4e? O( 4ibbe eh 0isnae- ah dinnae 1enG Ah didnae 1enG Ah dunno i/ ah 4eant tae s.a(e u4 o( shut u4 up o( i/ it 0is an a..ident- but ah pointed the bo0 at hi4 and 4a /in)e( 0is (oond the t(i))e(? It 2ist 0ent o// o( ah /i(ed- ah still dinnae 1en- 0hethe( ah 4eant it o( no- ah 2ist /elt this 0ee bit p(essu(e? 6illy 0as t(yin) to 0o(1 this out? ,hat 0as =.=u((ay )oin) to say to GallyH :u(ely that Te((y had ta1en Gail a0ay /(o4 =.=u((ay? :u(ely that 0as it? O( that Te((y had been sha))in) Gail /o( yea(s? ,hen they )ot 4a((ied- Ca(l 0as the best 4an? 6illy (e4e4be(ed his spee.h? He said that Te((y should ha+e been the best 4an- .ause it 0as hi4 that )ot Gail and Gally the)ithe(? Te((y? The 0o(ds he usedF Te((y 0as Cupid? I A0 /u.1in hell- Te((y said- ta1in) a )ulp o/ ai( and .ontinuin) in a lo0 0hine? I Thi( 0is a hissin sound and the bolt (ipped oot th(ou)h the ba)? It /le0 st(ai)ht intae his ne.1? Eh didnae s.(ea4- eh 2ist sta))e(ed ba.1 n 4ade a )u()lin sound? Gally ed)ed a0ay? Pol4ont3s hands 0e(e at his ain th(oat- then eh 0ent ontae ehs 1nees and the blood .a4e oot- d(ibblin ontae the 1it.hen /lai(? I Gally 0as in sho.1? Ah )(abbed ehs ai(4 and pilled hi4 oot the
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doo(? ,e 0ent doon the (oad? Ah 0iped the .(ossbo0 .lean- b(o1e it up and du4ped it oot at Gullane? Jui.e Te((y La0son paused- /eelin) a sli)ht s4ile play on his lips at the thou)ht o/ Gullane- and he )lan.ed b(ie/ly at 6illy- 0ho (e4ained blan1B/a.ed? :o Te((y .ontinued? I On the 0ey oot- 0e stoapped n Gally .alled an a4bulan.e /o( Pol4ont? It sa+ed the .unt3s li/e? Gally didG Gally sa+ed ehs li/eG E+e(y .unt thou)ht that he

shot Pol4ont but it 0as 4eG It 0is 4eG He 0is the yin that sa+ed the .unt3s li/e? Ah3d hu+ let that /u.1e( bleed tae death? The bolt hit ehs Ada43s aypil@ it 4issed the spinal .olu4n- the .a(otid a(te(y and the 2u)ula( +ein? 6ut eh 0ould ha+e .ho1ed on ehs ain bloodG I/ it hud been up tae 4eG The a4bulan.e .a4e and they 0heeled hi4 in and )a+e hi4 an e4e()en.y op? It .(ushed his +oi.ebo9- no0 eh3s )ot one ay they (obot thin)s that eh p(esses in ehs th(oat? 6ut eh ni+i( said no0t- the boy ne+e( )(assed ays? E/ti( Gally died ah thou)ht eh 0ould3+e? Ca(l loo1ed at Te((y? I The .unt .ouldnae /u.1in 0ell spea1 tae )(ass anybody? He /o(.ed a st(an)e lau)h? It didn3t li)hten Te((y3s 4ood thou)h? I Gally 2u4ped .ause eh 1ent aboot 4e n Gail ??? n 0hen eh died eh too1 the bla4e 0i u4- n it 1ept the li1es ay the Doyles oa/ 4a t(ail ? ? ? Ah shot Pol4ont- n ah 1illed GallyG Ca(l 0as the only one 0ho 1ne0 that Gally 0as HI8 positi+e? Gally had 4ade hi4 s0ea( not to tell? 6ut Gally 0ould unde(stand? He telt su(e that Gally 0ould unde(stand? I Listen- Te((y@ you n a0- 6illy? Ah3+e )oat so4ethin) i4po(tant tae tell yis? Gally 0is HI8 positi+e? ,i the s1a)? Eh used tae ban) up 0i =atty Connell n a0 they .unts doon in Leith- so4e boys that3+e been deid /o( yea(s? I That3s d(asti.- that3s ? ? ? 6illy said- t(yin) to )et to )(ips 0ith it? Te((y 0as silent? I Eh only )ot intae it .ause eh 0is /u.1ed o//U aboot Gail n Pol4ont n the bai(n- Te((y- Ca(l said? He (aised his +oi.e? I Te((yG Dou /u.1in 0ell listenin tae 4eH I Aye- Te((y said 4ee1ly? I :o it %is that .unt Pol4ont that lu.1ed hi4 u! by ta1in) the poo( 0ee .unt3s libe(ty- he said- his eyes (ed? I Ah 4ean- ah34 so((y tae hea( aboot the boy3s 4a- and ah a4- .ause ah3+e 2ist ? ? ? 4a /aithe(? 6ut t0o 0(on)s didnae 4a1e a (i)ht- n he hud nae (i)ht tae dae that tae Gally? 6illy 4illed Te((y3s .u(ls? I :o((y tae )ie ye a ha(d ti4e thai(? This sho.1ed Te((y- e+en th(ou)h his de2e.tion? 6ut- Te((y (e/le.ted?
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he didn3t (eally 1no0 the boy no0? It had been a)es? Ho0 4u.h did you .han)eH I De did the (i)ht thin)Te((y- 6illy added? I =ibbe ye did it /o( the 0(on) (easons- but ye still did the (i)ht thin)- ye ba.1ed u4 upli1e ah should3+e? I Na0? Te((y shoo1? I I/ ah3d stoaped u4 /ae )aun eh3d hu+ been he(e the day ? ? ? I O( 4e- 0hen eh as1ed 4e /i(st- 6illy said? I That3s /u.1in bullshit- Ca(l said- I it 0id hu+ 4ade nae di//e(en.e? Gally topped ehsel be.ause eh 0is /u.1ed up by 0hat had happened tae hi4 0i Pol4ont n Gail? Eh ne+e( 1ne0 aboot you n Gail- n ye 0i( enou)h ay a 4ate tae t(y n spa(e u4 that? De (is1ed a bad doin /ae the Doyles and a lon) p(ison senten.e /o( assault- o( 0o(se- 2ist tae 1eep Gally /ae 1no0in? 6ut the HI8 0is the last st(a0 0i u4? Eh 0ould3+e topped ehsel any0ey? I A0 this ste4s /ae Pol4ont slashin that boy- 6illy said? I Ho0 /a( ba.1 dae ye 0ant tae )oH :hould Gally hu+ hud the blade oot at CloudsH I It3s 4e? It ste4s /ae 4e no bein) able tae 1eep 4a /u.1in .o.1 in 4a t(oose(s- Te((y said 4ise(ably? Ca(l s4iled? I Loo1 Te((y- you and Gail 0e(e in a sha))in s.ene? 6i) /u.1in deal? Di3ll ne+e( stop people 0antin tae sha)? It al0ays hus happened- it al0ays 0ill? It .annae be a+oided? Gaun a(oond a0 tooledBup .an be a+oided? Eh topped ehsel .ause he hud the +i(us? It 0is his .hoi.e? It 0ouldnae hu+ been 4ine- but it 0is his? It 0as Pol4ont- Ca(l .onside(ed? He thou)ht o/ his /athe(- the in/luen.e he3d had on Gally )(o0in) up? The (ulesF ne+e( )(ass? No- sa.1 that thou)ht? 6ut that 0as the p(oble4 0ith a 4o(al .ode- e+e(yone had to subs.(ibe to the sa4e one /o( it to 0o(1? I/ a /e0 people too1 the piss and )ot a0ay 0ith it- e+e(ythin) .ollapsed? 6illy thou)ht ba.1 to the ti4e 0ith the Doyles at the ,i(e0o(1s? Ho0 Doyle had as1ed about Gally /o( the /itba a /e0 :eti(days late(- and ho0 the ,ee =an had been so ea)e( to i4p(ess? About ho0 this had .a((ied on to Clouds 0hen Doyle 0as /i)htin) 0ith the boy? ,hat had .o4e /(o4 thatH All thisH :u(ely notH Li/e had to be 4o(e than a se(ies o/ unsol+able 4yste(ies? :u(ely 0e 0e(e entitled to so4e /u.1in ans0e(s? To Ca(l E0a(t- the 0o(ld see4ed as b(utal and un.e(tain as e+e(? Ci+ilisation didn3t e(adi.ate sa+a)e(y and .(uelty- it 2ust see4ed to (ende( the4 less lu(id and theat(i.al? The )(eat in2usti.es .ontinued and all so.iety see4ed to do about it 0as obs.u(e the .auseBandBe//e.t
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(elationships a(ound the4- settin) up a s4o1es.(een o/ bullshit and baubles? His 0o(nBout b(ain (a.ed 0ith thou)hts 0hi.h sta))e(ed bet0een 4u(1iness and .la(ity? 6illy had to phone Fabienne in Ni.e? He3d )et out the(e ne9t 0ee1- (ela9 /o( a bit on the CWte d3AEu(? He3d been 0o(1in) too ha(d- ta1in) too 4u.h on? One day he3d be independent o/ Gill/illan and Po0e(- that 0as al0ays his )oal and he ne+e( let up in pu(suit o/ it? 6ut 0hen he sa0 the li1es o/ Dun.an E0a(t- o( 0hen he thou)ht about a)e3s (edu.ti+e e//e.ts on his o0n pa(ents- 0ell- li/e 0as too sho(t?

I Ho03s ??? eh- you( thy(oid )land- 6illyH Ca(l as1ed? I Fine- 6illy said- I but ah need the thy(o9ine? :o4eti4es ah /o()et n ta1e too 4u.h- n it3s li1e ah34 oan speed? Te((y 0anted to tal1 so4e 4o(e? 6illy had a F(en.h )i(l/(iend- 7ab had said? Ca(l had a lassie out in Aust(alia- a Ne0 >ealande(? He 0anted to 1no0 about the4? The(e 0as so 4u.h 4o(e to tal1 about? He3d see Lisa late( on? It 0as )(eat to see Ca(l a)ain- e+en unde( the te((ible .i(.u4stan.es 0ith poo( auld Dun.an? To thin1 that he3d been so do0n on Ca(l a/te( Gally3s death? He3d 4is(ead thin)s- thou)ht that Ca(l 0anted tae )et intae all that 3lit3s 2ist ta1e an E and tell ea.h othe( ho0 4u.h 0e 4iss and lo+ed Gally3@ thou)ht that he 0as 2ust into .heapenin) his 4e4o(y? 6ut it 0asn3t li1e that? It ne+e( had been? Ca(l 0as thin1in) about this? The 4e4o(y o/ Gally see4ed to be slidin) in and out o/ (eality- li1e he hi4sel/ 0as on the plane? He 4o(bidly sa0 this as a su(e si)n that death 0as .losin) in? He sa0 it in his /athe(3s eyes? He3d .ool it on the d(u)s and )et into shape? He 0as a 4iddleBa)ed 4an- hal/0ay th(ou)h his th(ee s.o(e and ten- not a boy? I Can ah buy you boys a d(in1- Te((y as1ed? 6illy loo1ed at Ca(l- (aisin) his eyeb(o0s a little? I Ah .ould handle a bee(- but 2ust a .ouple- eh boys? Ah34 beyond /u.1ed and ah should )et ba.1 tae 4uh =a3s- Ca(l said? I =a auld lady3s 0i he(- Ca(l- n yi( Auntie A+(il n a0? :he3ll be /ine /o( a bit- 6illy said? I ,heatshea/H Te((y su))ested? They nodded? He loo1ed at 6illy? I De 1en so4ethin)- 6illyH De ne+e( say 3b(utal3 any4ai(? De used tae say it a0 the ti4e? 6illy thou)ht about this- then shoo1 his head in the ne)ati+e? I Ah .annae 4ind ays e+e( sayin that? Ah used tae say 3d(asti.3 a lot? :till do? Te((y tu(ned to Ca(l in appeal? Ca(l sh(u))ed? I Cannae 4ind
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any ay us sayin 3b(utal3? 6illy used tae say 3despe(ate3 so4eti4es- ah 4ind ay that? I =aybe that3s 0hat ah 0is thin1in) aboot- Te((y nodded? They 0al1ed a.(oss the pa(1- th(ee 4en- th(ee 4iddleBa)ed 4en? One loo1ed a bit plu4p- the othe( 4us.ula( and athleti. and the /inal one 0as s1inny and d(essed in .lothes so4e 4i)ht ha+e .onside(ed a bit youn) /o( hi4? They ne+e( said that 4u.h to ea.h othe(- but they )a+e the i4p(ession o/ bein) .lose?

Re2rise .00.: The -olden (ra
Ca(l pulled the slidin) shel/ out /(o4 unde(neath the 4i9in) des1- e9posin) the 1eyboa(d? His /in)e(s /litted a.(oss it- on.e- t0i.e- th(ee ti4es- 4a1in) 4ino( but .(u.ial 4odi/i.ations on ea.h o..asion? He 0as a0a(e o/ Helena .o4in) into the (oo4? Had he not been so abso(bed- his hea(t 0ould ha+e sun1 to note Jui.e Te((y /ollo0in) he(? Te((y .(ashed hea+ily do0n on the la()e .ou.h in the .o4e(- )(oanin) in loud- unsel/.ons.ious dist(a.tion and st(et.hin)- lettin) out a (oa( 0hi.h .li4bed to o()as4i. p(opo(tions as his body (ea.hed its tensile li4its? Content- he sta(ted b(o0sin) th(ou)h an asso(t4ent o/ ne0spape(s and 4usi. 4a)aEines? I Ah3ll no distu(b ye- boss- he said 0ith a 0in1? Ca(l .au)ht Helena3s 3I34 so((y3 e9p(ession as she le/t the (oo4 0ith /eline stealth? That 0as the p(oble4 o/ bein) ba.1 in Edinbu()h- and ha+in) you( studio in you( house? It .ould )et li1e ,a+e(ley :tation and Te((yin pa(ti.ula(- see4ed to ha+e ta1en up (esiden.e on that /u.1in .ou.h? I Ah 4ean- Te((y .ontinued- I the .(eati+e 2ui.es n a0 that? Thi( 4ust be no0t 0o(se thin 0hin yi( oan a (oll tae hu+ so4e .unt .o4e in n sta(t (abbitin a0ay in yi( ea(? I Aye- Ca(l said- )ettin) do0n and loopin) his 1eyboa(d (i//? I Tell ye 0hat but- Ca(l- ah34 )ittin )yp bi)ti4e o//ay that :onia bi(d? 6aith sidesF dod)y? Ceepin 0ell a0ay /ae that any0ey? :,ATBtea4 sha)@ ye )o in- dae the biE- then )it the /u.1 oot as soon as possible? :A:B style- he e9plained- then- puttin) on an uppe(B.(ust a..ent- added- I so 4any deh4 /ine .heps didn3t 4a1e it be1? I H44- Ca(l pu((ed- al4ost lost in 4usi. and only +a)uely a0a(e o/ 0hat Te((y 0as on about?
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:ilen.e 4ay ha+e been )olden /o( so4e- but /o( Te((y e4pty ai(0ays .onstituted 0aste? As he /li.1ed th(ou)h the cotsman he .ontended- I Tell ye 0hat but- Ca(l- this /u.1in Kueen3s Golden Jubilee3s )ittin oan 4a ne(+es- it3s a0 ye hea( ay? I Aye- Ca(l said dist(a.tedly? He du) his heels into the .a(pet and d(a))ed hi4sel/ and his .asto(ed .hai( a.(oss to the (e.o(d de.1 0he(e he stu.1 on an old se+enBin.h No(the(n :oul sin)le? Then he t0isted ba.1 to his hu)e 4i9in) des1 and .o4pute(- the sa4ple he3d 2ust ta1en )oin) (ound and (ound on the loop? He .li.1ed the 4ouse de/tly- plunde(in) a bassline? It 0as o+e(laid by a sha(p- inte(4ittent (in)? Te((y3s 4obile had )one o//? I :oniaG Ho03s it )aun da(linG

Funny- ah 0is 2ist aboot tae phone you? G(eat 4inds thin1 ali1e- he (olled his eyes at Ca(l? I Ei)ht3s hun1yB do(y by 4e? Cou(se ah3ll be thai(eG Aye- ah )oat it? Fo(tyBt0o 5uid? Loo1s the biE but? :ee ye the ni)ht? CiaodollG Te((y (ead one o/ the (e+ie0s in a 4usi. pape(? ;=&I-;: Gimme Love 0Last $urlon91 It see4s li1e NB :IGN .an do no 0(on) sin.e his d(a4ati. (esu((e.tion? Last yea( 0e had the biEa((e tea4Bup 0ith =O7 sta( Cath(yn Joyne(yieldin) the .enB tu(y3s IbiEa anthe4- 9egs on e-, /ollo0ed by the No?l albu4Cannin It. The ne0 sin)le /inds the 4an in a 4o(e soul/ul 4ood- but it3s an i((esistible o//e(in) /(o4 the tooBlon)B4issin)B assu4edB/u.1ed )ad)ie o/ the )(oo+e? 6eyond 0i.1ed@ /ollo0 you( /eet and you( hea(t a.(oss that dan.e/loo(? $L 0 6est thin) that happened tae Ca(l- Te((y .onside(ed- and he 0as 2ust about to sha(e that thou)ht as his 4obile 0ent off a)ain? I 8ilhel4G Aye- ah34 he(e 0i =( E0a(t? The .(eati+e 2ui.es u( /lo0in a0(i)ht- 1in ye no hea( u4- he as1ed- b(ie/ly holdin) the phone in Ca(l3s di(e.tion and 4a1in) o()as4i. noises? I Oooohhh ? ? ? aaa))hhhh ? ? ? oooh la la ??? Aye- eh3s daein /ine? :o that3s de/oH Good- ah3ll tell the 4an hi4sel/- he tu(ned to Ca(l? I 7ab3s sta)3s oan the 0ee1end ay the /i/teenth- in A4ste(da4? That3s de/o? Dou3(e o1ay 0i thatH I :hould be- Ca(l (eplied? I HiG Ni+i( 4ind /u.1in 0ell should beG Git it doon thai(e- Te((y .o44anded- pointin) to Ca(l3s bi) bla.1 des1 dia(y?
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Ca(l 4o+ed o+e( to the boo1 and pi.1ed up a 6i(o? I Fi/teenth ye say ??? I Aye- /i( /ou( days? I Ah3+e )oat this t(a.1 tae /inish ? ? ? Ca(l 4oaned- 0(itin)F 7A63: :TAG A3DA= in /ou( bo9es any0ay? I :toap the 0hin)ein? All 0o(1 and nae play- ye 1en 0hit they say aboot that? I/ 6illy he(e .an ta1e /ou( days oa/ /ae the ba( ? ? ? 6illyH 6illyG 6I77ELL DA CANTG Te((y shouted into the dead phone? I The i)no(ant .unt3s only )one n hun) up oan ays a)ainG Ca(l s4i(1ed a little? Te((y3s ne0 /ound enthusias4 /o( the 4obile phone had been a .u(se to all his /(iends? 6illy had the best 4ana)e4ent te.hni5ue thou)h? He si4ply passed on the (e5ui(ed 4essa)e and then hun) up? I :ee bit- Ca(l- yu+ )oat tae ad4it- Te((y ad+an.ed- (etu(nin) to an ea(lie( .onside(ation- I it 0is 4e thit )oat ye tea4ed up 0i Cath(yn Joyne(- by 4e 4eetin he( in the 6al4o(al n b(in)in) he( oot- 4a1in 4ates 0i he(? I Aye ? ? ? Ca(l .on.eded?

I That3s a0 ah34 sayin- Ca(l? Ca(l .upped a headphone o+e( one ea(? That 0as all Te((y 0as sayin)? That 0ould be the /u.1in day? Te((y (ubbed his nu4be(Bone .(opped hai(? I The thin) is but- it (eally 1i.1ed thin)s oa/ /i( ye bi) ti4e a)ain ??? ah 4ean e/ti( that hit- the albu4 0is )ua(anteed tae dae 0ell ? ? ? Ca(l put the headphones do0n- .li.1ed the 4ouse a .ouple o/ ti4es to e9it /(o4 and shut do0n the p(o)(a44e? He s0i+elled a(ound in the .hai(? I A0(i)ht Te((y- ah 1en ah o0e ye a /a+ou( 4ate? I ,ell- Te((y be)an- I thi( is a 0ee so4ethin) ? ? ? Ca(l b(a.ed hi4sel/- su.1in) ai( into his lun)s? A 0ee so4ethin)? The(e 0as al0ays a 0ee so4ethin)? And than1 /u.1 as 0ell?