Alice Academy

I stared into a dark abyss where I found myself crying, hurting all alone with n
o one to notice. I pondered if what I did was the right thing even if it left me
no choice but to lose my happiness. I already had no hope, no inspiration to ho
ld on to. I was left alone, forgotten even if I gave them their freedom to love,
their freedom to stop lying to themselves. I, Ruka Nogi, officially gave up on
Sakura and gave her to Natsume.
Yes, you're right. The two loves of my life have finally released themselves fro
m me. They may not have shown it but I seem to be a drag, an insulator, a block
from their hidden feelings with each other. Both of them knew that it was Sakura
who I love, and they never wanted to hurt me. But I never wanted to hurt them e
ither. I did the bravest thing that I thought I would ever do: give up on her an
d let Natsume do the rest.
Of course, they felt bad that I told them what I wanted to happen
e of us: Sakura to be together with Natsume and leave me alone. I
I was going to be all right. We all knew that I was crushing and
. But, it was the right thing to do. They both needed each other.
icant in both of their lives. I was only a part of it. But, I was
pecial unlike how they feel for each other.

among the thre
told them that
hurting inside
I was insignif
never really s

Here I am, Ruka Nogi. Crushed and torn. Remaining as single and always will be u
ntil the day I die.
-0I found myself enclosed in a classroom along with my classmates ? of course, wit
h him and her. You know what I mean. We didn't know why we were there. It was pa
st our ordinary school time. The door opened and entered Not-Everyone's-Favorite
teacher ? Naru.
"Good morning, everyone!" He greeted in his usual manner ? gayish.
"Good morning, Sensei!" Everyone ? but me, Natsume, and Imai ? chorused.
He smiled widely and took a chalk between his right thumb and index finger. He w
rote something on the blackboard which made everyone curious of what he was goin
g to discuss. I placed my eyes on Koko ? my mind-reading classmate ? and I saw"h
im frown, even with his smiling face. He told his seatmate, Kitsunume, on what h
e heard from?Naru's mind.$He gave out a sowr look upoo"hearIng0Koko's 7hisper.
I looked upon the blackboaR$ th;niin? that what NarU is writing on the blackjoar
d might interes|`me. A slowly rdad?e?ch letter familiariz?ng myself with each wo
rd...?Ro,& Me..(O... Anl... Ju..* Li.. Et... Romeo and Ju?iet! It was(not onli I
who read what was!wrivten.

"Romeo and Juliet? What is it, Sensei? Do you want us to research about it?" Our
forever class representative, Yuu Tobita, asked him.
"It's not it," Koko finally spoke ? in a disgusted manner, that is. He stood up
and looked at each one of us. He pointed his finger towards Naru and glared his
eyes upon him.
"He's going to let all of us perform in a lovey-dovey play! You are never going
to take me alive!" He took Kitsunume with him and they both ran towards the door
. However, as they reached the door, they heard him say:
"Stop the nonsense, both of you."
They both stopped, looking at him with horror in their eyes. He approached them

in a look we are forever familiar of: the Seductive Look. It meant that he was a
lready working on his notorious Pheromone Alice. I looked at the two once again
and on their dismay, they were already affected with his alice.
"Even if you try to run away from me, nothing will change. You will still follow
my orders," he said with a somewhat frightening tone. "Now, do you or do you no
t want to join the play?" He added.
"We... wantn.. to... join..." The two u.consciously ans7ered.
"That's good. Txen, go back To0yoqr seats while I tell you more about my plans."
The two went back to their seats while Naru went back in fr/nt.
"Who0edse dogs not want to join the plaY?" He asked with a"fark aura surrounding
him. Of course, no one answered him. Everyone0?as too scazed tn even dare havE
a taste of NaRumi's pheromones.$All o? us had no choice but to do shat he wanted
us to do.
"Naru still doen't(ch?n'e, huh," my"seatmate told me.
"Yeah," I told him showing him a fake smile. "You're right, Natsume. He still do
es not change."
I avoided his eyes to hide the hurt in me. I still cannot let go of the trauma t
hat just happened a few days ago. I shook my head hoping to stop feeling bad for
myself. I tried to bring my senses on Naru to find means to forget everything t
hat has to do with Natsume and Sakura.
"You all know that the School Festival is fast approaching and every year we hol
d events such as school plays. As what Kokoroyomi-kun had said, all of you are g
oing to perform in a play. I will be your director. And you will be performing t
he famous Shakespearean masterpiece: Romeo and Juliet."
As what I have expected, girls started to look my way. Each one of them wanted t
he role of Juliet in the play. No one dared look at Natsume's way, of course. Ev
erybody already knows what's going between him and Sakura-san. Lucky him. I mean
really lucky him. I don't want to flatter myself, but it is now the truth: Beca
use Natsume is already taken, I am now the only one who will be the girl magnet
of the academy. And this fact never made me happy. It was okay when I still had
Natsume with me. We protected each other in various ways just to survive a day o
f stampeding fan girls. Now, I am all alone. And no one is going to protect me f
rom anybody anymore.
"To fulfill the success of the production, of course, we need actors for the sai
d play. I have already decided on the roles for each and everyone of you. We'll
start with the most important characters of the play. The stars of the show... T
he one who is going to portray the role of Romeo is..."
I closed my eyes knowing whose name it is who was going to be mentioned.
"...Ruka Nogi."
I knew it. It was already obvious who was going to portray Romeo. Well, every ye
ar I am the one who portrays every main role in every school play. My part as Ro
meo was inevitable. Almost every girl in the classroom giggled as they heard my
name. They started to pray that they will get the part of Juliet. I, on the othe
r hand, wished for Sakura to get the role. However, I know that it couldn't be p
ossible. Natsume wouldn't allow it to happen.

"And the one who will portray the role of Juliet is..."
What am I thinking? Why am I hoping it is her? It's not going to happen. It's no
t...
"...Mikan Sakura."
Did I just hear right? Is it true that Sakura is going to be Juliet? My Juliet?
I smiled deep inside, happy of what I just heard. But, then my happiness started
to crumble when I looked at Natsume. He glared at Narumi with that Oh-No-She-Wo
n't look. The latter, of course, understood what his glare meant.
"I'm sorry. I think I made a mistake. Mikan-chan won't play Juliet. She will be
Juliet's nurse. So, I guess Ruka-kun's leading lady will be..."
That's it. My world totally crushed. I was hopeless. I will be spending
of my time with some unfamiliar girl. I will be performing with her on
dug my face in my hands thinking that the world really does hate me. I
my sense of hearing, somewhat curious of who might be my "leading lady"
lay.

the rest
stage. I
widened
on the p

"...Hotaru Imai."
I removed my face from my hands, and I felt myself gaping my mouth open. Imai? A
s Juliet? It's not possible! I cannot imagine her saying those overly creepy lin
es that Juliet is going to say. I could puke and laugh at the same time just thi
nking about it.
"I accept if you are willing to pay me," she said in a monotonous tone.
"We always pay for our performers," Naru answered.
"Then, it is a deal." she accepted.
I can't believe it. Imai accepted. What happened to her? What made her accept th
e role? I just sat silent not believing of what just happened today. I couldn't
imagine any more strange things to happen today. I guess this is a start of my n
ew life. My life of total loneliness and strangeness.
"Ruka-kun, Hotaru-chan, come with me later after the meeting, okay?" Naru asked.
Yup, I was right. This is the start of a new life. A new but scary start.
-0Footsteps echoing back and forth was audible in the almost empty room. It was on
ly Naru, I, and Imai inside. I looked at the person pacing back and forth in fro
nt of me. I could almost puke thinking of the fact that I will be staying for a
few more hours with him. I looked at my seatmate looking blankly into space ? wh
ich I guess she was thinking of a new invention to invent ? and not minding of w
hat was happening around the world she was in. Juliet... Hotaru Imai as Juliet..
I almost wanted to scream. Me? With Imai? I don't think so. Why did the world h
ate me so much? Why am I suffering so much? Is my heartbreak a few days ago not
enough? I wanted to die that very moment.
Then, there was a momentous silence. Naru afterward began to talk.
"Because I have told you your roles, I know you already have an idea of what kin
d of characters you will be portraying. We just finished discussing about the tr
agic tale of Romeo and Juliet a week ago in our English class, so there is no do

ubt that you already know your characters."
I just kept silent, knowing that this was going to be a long day.
"So, Ruka-kun," he continued. "You will be starring as Romeo in the play. This i
s a copy of your script. I expect that you will memorize your lines after a week
."
"Whatever." I took the papers with a hint of hesitation. I looked at the pieces
of paper in my hands. I admit it. I have always loved this play ? not because I
love Shakespeare. But, because I have always imagined myself being Romeo and Sak
ura as Juliet. Imagine. Us in a tragic love story. A story that has been handed
down from one generation to another. A love story that sends a message that love
will continue on even in the after life. But, my dreams have been shattered as
I placed my eyes on my eternal enemy ? Hotaru Imai... The last person I would th
ink of playing as Juliet... My Juliet. I think I'm going to be sick.
"What?" The blackmailing brat said to me as I unconsciously continued to look at
her.
"Nothing. I just can't believe this is happening," I answered trying to sound ig
norant.
*
"I see.0So you're angry bEcawse I am playing t(e?role of Juliet," she answered w
ith a0matter-on-fact tole. I hate hez. I truly despise her.
"Yes, I am. I #an't believe You qgreed to`take the rold. I thought that this ?ro
jec| is going to be a success because we are going?to do a Shakespearean play. A
nd here you are ma{ine the s?ow'c failure inevitable."
"Chush, both of you," said Naru trying to stnp us from qearreli~g. "I know yo5 h
ave juqt suffered a heartbpeak, Ruka-kun. Qnd I'm sorry for you. But, your life
does not end if someone you love has just been taken away. It just goes to show
that there is someone much better for you. It's time for a new beginning, a new
love, Ruka-kun."
"You're just saying that Sakura is not meant for me. You're just saying it in th
e least hurtful way," I answered... My eyes blurring with my tears. I didn't wan
t to cry. But, I did.
"Come on. It isn't that big of a problem," Imai said while reading her script. "
At least you made her happy, didn't you?"
"Will you just let me be?" I wasn't able to take it anymore. My heart raced with
mixed emotions: both intense sadness and fury. The tears in my eyes flowed more
. I stood up, wiped them with the sleeve of my uniform and looked at her ? with
my blood boiling in me.
"You just don't know how much it pains me to let her go! I have loved her ever s
ince. I never planned to let her go. Do you know how long it took me to finally
decide to give up on her? It was really difficult! So, don't be surprised if I'm
crying this much. I love your best friend. I love her even more than I love mys
elf! You'll never know how I feel because you don't have feelings in that cold h
eart of yours! You'll never know how to love!" I felt myself almost explode beca
use of the feelings that flowed out of me. As I was going to add more of my spee
ch, I saw Imai crumple the 50-page long script with her hands.
"You think you have made a great sacrifice for the one you love?" She answered.
Trembling. Not looking at me. "You really flattered yourself, didn't you, Nogi?
You think you are such a big hero for doing something difficult like that. But,

have you ever experienced never ever telling that certain person you love her be
cause you see she is happy with someone else?"
What is she talking about? Why is she saying these things? I thought to myself s
taying silent.
"Have you ever experienced helping that certain someone come nearer to the perso
n she loves? Helping her even if it hurts you so?" She stood up, still not looki
ng at me. "I bet you haven't."
I stayed silent ? astonished of what I have just witnessed. Has Imai been suffer
ing this much? But, who does she mean that "certain someone"? Is she loving some
one that I don't know? Is it Natsume?
Umph! I laughed in my mind just thinking about it. It's way too impossible. Imai
? In love? Please. But, she has said this much already. More than she should hav
e. Is she really this in love to that "certain someone"?
She went towards the door and opened it... Still not looking at me.
"Sensei, I should be able to memorize my lines until next week, right?" She aske
d with her back still facing me.
"Yes, Hotaru-chan. You should be able to memorize them within a week because we'
ll start with rehearsing the scenes solely for Romeo and Juliet. The other chara
cters will just come later," Naru answered with a careful tone in his voice.
"Thank you, Sensei," she said and then looked at me. "Hey, Nogi."
I looked and answered stuttering, "Y-yes?"
"Don't worry. I won't destroy the play. I will be paid very well for doing this
task of playing Juliet. However, I also expect you to do so. Don't let your rece
nt heartbreak get the best of you. If the play is ruined and if I don't get my '
salary' as a stage actress... I'll decapitate you with my BakaGun. Understand?"
"Y-yes. I understand," I gulped as I stumbled through my words.
"Good." She turned her back and left the room. Leaving me, and Naru inside the c
lassroom, wondering if we have just seen another side of Imai we haven't seen be
fore.
I slowly opened my eyes, my sight blurry. I tried to distinguish where I was, bu
t to no avail. I felt something in my hand. It was cold. I looked upon it, tryin
g to clear my vision and there I saw a metal cup in my hand, with a bit of liqui
d in it. It seemed someone just drank from it. What was it doing in my hand? I t
hought to myself. I then felt something wet drop on my face. I looked up and saw
a crying girl holding me as lay in her arms. What the heck is happening here? A
djusting my sight again, I suddenly recognized who that girl was. Ebony hair...
Pale skin... and those familiar but intimidating lavender eyes. Imai... I frowne
d as this thought entered my mind.
But, wait a second. She was in a dress ? an English dress to be exact. And I saw
myself in clothes I most likely will not be wearing unless I am in some Shakesp
earean play. Wait a minute. Shakespearean play... I trembled when I thought abou
t it. I looked at my surroundings. High stone walls... Coffins... Maroon curtain
s... There was no mistake about it. I was in a Romeo and Juliet scene. The scene
where Juliet discovers that Romeo has committed suicide thinking she had died.
I tried to get up knowing what was most likely going to happen next. However, I

felt my muscles had atrophied and I wasn't able to move. I wanted to shout, pani
cking, wanting to get out of this place. I felt a hand cup on my face and tears
dropped one by one on me. I saw Imai mumble a few words which I was unable to co
mprehend. Oh no. I finally gave up. Why is this happening to me? The scene which
I have always dreaded to happen ? except for the case with Sakura ? is happenin
g right now in front of me... And it is going to happen with my worst nightmare
? both in sleep and in wake ? acting as Juliet will give me that final... gulp..
. kiss.
I saw her nearing her face towards mine. She pursed her disgusting lips as they
approached mine. I wanted to shout, but was unable to. This is the end of Ruka N
ogi. I told myself. I closed my eyes in clear defeat. When I felt her lips touch
mine... I shouted to the top of my voice... Reaching the highest note impossibl
e to be reached by a mere human being.
-0"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
I then felt a burning sensation overcome my left cheek. I was relieved when I he
ard a familiar voice.
"Ruka! Snap out of it!" The voice commanded me... His voice shaking...
Disoriented, I looked at my surroundings. My bed. My television. My unfinished g
lass of milk. My collection of classical masterpieces... My wall clock telling m
e it's 3 o' clock in the morning... I realized I was back in my room.
"Ruka, are you all right," the familiar voice asked me, with an obvious concern
in his voice.
I looked at the person in front of me, and there was Natsume, holding his right
hand up and was looking surprised. I panted for a while, relieved that I escaped
from that dreadful nightmare I just had. I took a deep breath once more and cal
med my nerves down. My heart stopped beating in an intense speed and slowed down
, following the pace of my breathing. Then, a pain running like electricity race
d through my left cheek. It felt like it had a pulse of its own ? only faster th
an that of my heart's. I groaned in pain and touched it lightly with my hand.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you. You were screaming like crazy and I thought that the o
nly way to stop you was to hit you," he started to explain himself without even
me questioning why.
"It seemed you had quite a nightmare in there," he continued.
"Uh... yeah," I replied, lightly massaging my face. "Thanks, Natsume."
"It's nothing."
Then awkward silence. Both of us didn't know what to talk about. And both us kne
w why. Everything changed ever since I gave up on Sakura. Even my friendship wit
h Natsume ? which I never dreamed of ending ? changed. Unlike before, I feel inf
erior in his presence. I feel so powerless.. So minuscule. I feel like I'm such
a big loser. We were best buds before, but now... It does not feel like it. It s
eemed we just had a competition and I lost. That's how I feel. And I know he fee
ls the same way and is feeling guilty about it. He wants to get back the friends
hip we had not so long ago, but he does not know how because he knows I am total
ly broken into pieces and no one knows how I could be fixed.
"Ruka-pyon, are you all right?" My heart skipped a beat when that familiar greet

ing echoed in my ears. I looked at the door and I saw... her. Sakura: the girl w
ho I have always loved. She ran towards me and gave me an embrace. I felt my blo
od rushing towards my head and the throbbing feeling on my left cheek aggravated
. I felt those dainty arms holding me closer towards her body. Her scent. Her wa
rmth. I wish I could live like this forever. I looked at Natsume, and I saw him
smile a little... and I know he felt pity for me. He knows I wanted Sakura more
than everything, so he gave me a chance to feel her near to me... even for just
a moment.
I felt her move away from me and brought her brown eyes towards my aquamarine on
es. I wanted to hold her again and love her like there is no tomorrow. But, I mu
stn't
"I heard you scream," Sakura said while combing my golden bed hair. "Did somethi
ng happen?"
I stared at
s she asked
blood to my
Sakura with

her for I don't know how long. I followed the movement of her lips a
me of my condition. I felt myself turn deaf as my heart pumped more
head. If I was going to die today, I'll be happy. As long as I have
me in my very last hour.

"Ruka had a nightmare," Natsume told her and I came back to my senses. Yeah, I a
m still having a nightmare right now. My one and only dream to be with Sakura...
shattered. My dream of having a long lasting friendship... also shattered. Leav
ing me to Imai is my everlasting nightmare. I told myself.
"Did your nightmare scare you, Ruka-pyon?" She tenderly asked me as she caressed
my throbbing cheek. I closed my eyes, held her hand and slowly, it began to soo
the the pain: both on my cheek and my heart. I felt her jerk when I did that; he
sitantly, I released her and smiled.
"I'm okay now, Sakura," I felt my lips shaking as I continued to force a smile.
"As long as Natsume and you are here, I'm fine."
Liar. Liar. Liar. I called myself. Also, unable to believe my words, Natsume ask
ed, "If you want to, we could stay the rest of the night in your room."
"No, I'm fine," I said as I continued smiling. "You have done enough. Thank you,
though."
He wanted to say something, but he finally gave up. He ruffled my hair a bit and
smile at me with obvious pity. He took Sakura's hand and left the room with her
. When the door finally shut, a tear flowed from my eye. It hurt as it trickled
down my burning cheek.
Sakura... I love you... I said as I brought myself back to sleep.
-0A week has passed and I found myself rushing towards the High School Building ho
lding the script in my hand. It was already 4:30 in the afternoon and I was late
. I found myself through the endless hallways and finally reached the classroom.
I opened the door and there I saw them: Naru and Imai.
"Ruka-kun, where have you been? Hotaru-chan and I have been waiting for you for
thirty minutes," Naru in a disappointed tone asked me.
"Sorry," I said panting. "It took me a long time to find Giant Piyo. My ability
class members were not able to feed Piyo his lunch. It was difficult finding him
because he colored himself green and pretended that he was a hill."

"I see. Well, then. I'll just have to add an extra thirty minutes to compensate
with the time we had lost waiting for you," he answered.
"I understand." I took a chair and sat in between the two.
I took the script in my hand and tried to review the lines which I have not perf
ected yet. I started to mumble some words when I heard Imai also mumbling her li
nes. I stopped looking at my script and unconsciously stared at her. I can't bel
ieve she's really serious about this play. Is her love for money really that gre
at that she could do anything just for the sake of it?
"Okay, let's start with the rehearsal," Naru said while clapping his hands to ge
t our attention. "We all know that the balcony scene is one of the main scenes i
n the story. And we need to perfect this scene because this is the part where Ro
meo and Juliet profess their love for each other. The whole play will be a mess
if this part isn't as captivating as it should be."
The balcony scene, huh? This is where Juliet talks to herself and Romeo overhear
s her. This could be interesting. I couldn't imagine Imai doing the part perfect
ly... Much less satisfactorily.
"All right, then. Hotaru-chan, you start with your lines."
Imai lifted her script up that it was on the level of her eyes. She cleared her
throat for a moment and began.
"O Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo de-." Then, Naru stopped her.
"Hotaru-chan, please. Remember this is a romance story. You should act as if you
are truly in love with Romeo. Here in this scene, Juliet says that she is alrea
dy in love with Romeo even if he belonged to a rival family. And she will do any
thing just to get his love," He said with a tint of passion in his eyes. He also
is really serious about this play, huh?
"All right... Hmmm... What to do? What to do?" Naru said while drumming his fing
er on his face. "I know. Why don't you guys say some of your lines in the balcon
y scene and I'll critic about your performance so you'll know where to improve.
Is that okay?"
"I guess..." I answered.
"Whatever," Imai also answered.
"Okay, let's start from the beginning. Hotaru-chan, start."
She took a deep breath and began reading her lines.
"O Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo. Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
For thou wilt not, I'd be sworn, my love. And I shall never be called a Capulet
," she said in her usual monotonous tone. As what I have expected. Now, it's my
turn.
"Shall I hear more, or shall I speak of this?" Darn it. I sucked. My lines were
so empty. Sigh. It will feel much different if I was doing this with Sakura.
"Okay, guys. I have heard enough," Naru said as Imai was going to say her next l
ine. "I see you young people aren't into the play yet. Especially you, Hotaru-ch
an."

See, I knew it. This will not be easy as he thought it would be. Of course, our
pairing will never work out. We hate each other. We never liked each other's pre
sence. I then saw her fumbling across the pages of her script. Maybe, she's thin
king of giving up and make an invention out of the script.
"What you two lack is chemistry," our so-called director said.
"Yeah, we are oil and water," I answered.
"Oh, I see you are good at something aside from your drama-queen title," the unl
adylike-like person said as she continued to play with pages of her script... an
d irritate me.
"Look who's talking. Who was the one who said she had a 'certain someone' that s
he cared for and was unable to tell him about her feelings?" I tried to compose
myself while saying that. I felt that I was going to lose it anytime.
"I didn't say that," she answered with an obvious feeling of panic engulfing her
.
"All right, both of you. You are here with one purpose and one purpose only: to
practice for your roles as the lead characters. You are not here to fight, okay?
" Naru told us while preparing to use his pheromones on us. Of course, both of u
s didn't want that, so we stayed silent in our seats.
"That's better. Now, you both have memorized your lines, right?" He asked us.
"Yes," we chorused. That was the first time it happened that both of our thought
s were in sync. But, what did it matter anyway? It was just a coincidence that b
oth of us memorized our lines.
"Very good," he said in tremendous joy. "Now, I want you two to say your lines w
ith each other and look into each other's eyes."
"As if we could do that!" We chorused again, which was a weird thing because we
did it the second time.
"Now, now. You don't want me to use my alice on you, right?" He smirked as a pin
k smoky substance was rising from his body. "Be good little children and do what
I say."
"Y-yes, Sensei," we said altogether.
I faced Imai, but still not looking into her eyes. I don't know why. Was I shy?
Was I terrified of her? I really don't know. However, I tried. I slowly brought
my eyes towards her and there she was looking at me, too. And she was... blushin
g. Her face was flooded with blood. Imai? Blushing? Pfft. As if. But, it was tru
e right before my very eyes!
I felt my heart pumping liters and liters of blood within a second. My body beca
me numb. I was shaking. I felt my ears deafening. My vision, blurring. What is h
appening to us? More importantly, me? Just a mere look at each other's eyes sent
us away feeling like we want to escape from this awkward classroom.
"Hotaru-chan, start," Naru told Imai.
I saw her close her eyes and breathe deeply. She opened her lavender eyes and lo
oked straight at my aquamarine ones. But now, instead of that blank stare she ha
s always had for me, her eyes... looked softer. It did not look as cold as it wa
s before. She swallowed for a moment then said her lines.

"O Romeo, Romeo... Wherefore art thou, Romeo... Deny thy father... and refuse th
y name. For if thou wilt not. I'd be sworn my love and I shall never be called a
Capulet." She said her words in such a slow manner... With emotion... With pass
ion. I was astonished by how she spoke every syllable of it. It had content. It
had feelings. Imai... Not bad.
I brought my eyes deeper into hers. Hoping that I'll do a better performance tha
n her. But, instead of stabbing my eyes on hers, it felt that I am the one who i
s being pulled closer. I felt weak. I felt helpless. I felt captured. I then rem
embered that I was going to say my line.
"Shall I hear more..." Oh no. I cannot hear myself speak anymore. What sorcery d
oes this Imai have that I cannot escape her stare? I felt my mouth moving, but I
did not hear the sound of my voice. Why am I like this?
Everything around me then grew distant, and the only one left with me is Imai. S
he was the only one present in my sight. I cannot remove my eyes from her. Come
to think of it, I've never looked at her this way before. Her black hair was gli
stening under the mere light above us. Her lavender eyes were darker than I thou
ght I have seen. Her nose was triangular shaped and looked appropriate for her f
ace. Her lips opens just a little when she's speaking. It was pinkish and thin.
And I never knew she had a dimple on the side of her mouth. Her neck was long an
d somewhat bony. Actually, she looks...
What are you thinking, Ruka? Are you going insane? How can you be fascinated by
a girl like her? She has always brought you into your humiliation! This is no ti
me for you to admire a hag like her!
"Whoa, you guys. You have gone way past the balcony scene," Naru interrupted us.
I caught myself still staring at Imai, and her, at me. I avoided her eyes and s
tarted to feel embarrassed at myself. I felt my heart beat faster than usual tha
t the pulse was already audible in my hears. And I never even knew that I got th
rough the balcony scene. Everything around me just now was incomprehensible! Wha
t the heck did just happen to me?
-0"Job well done, guys," Naru complimented us. "As what I have expected with the l
ead roles. You have done most of the scenes already and I guess our practice wit
h the other characters will be scheduled earlier."
Relieved that our rehearsal time is over, I stretched and made a big yawn. I ros
e from my seat a few seconds before Imai did and walked to the door.
"Oh, before I forget. You guys haven't practiced for the kissing scene yet," Nar
u told us before I was able to turn the door knob.
I felt immovable after hearing the words... kissing scene. I totally forgot that
we had to do a kissing scene. Me? Kissing? No way. Well, actually. I have actua
lly snuck a kiss or two from Sakura when she and Natsume weren't still... gulp..
. going out. So, I know how it should be like. But, a kiss from Imai? Darn, it's
like my dream last week has come true! I'd rather kiss a horse! Seriously.
I looked back and saw Imai shaking terribly. I bet she was shocked when she hear
d about the kissing scene. I bet she never expected this would happen. Well, tha
t's theater. Everything is unexpected in theater.
"Naru, will we just skip the kissing part? It is not that an important part of t
he story," I told him.

"No, we can't do that, Ruka-kun," he told me as he winked at me. "The kissing sc
ene is an important part of the play. A romance story is never complete without
a kissing scene. So, I expect the both of you to know how to kiss in one week. Y
ou should be performing it in front of your co-actors."
"If that is the case, then I withdraw from the play," Imai said in a relaxed ton
e, but obviously, she was scared. "I don't remember stating anything that I agre
e to kiss in the play."
"Oh, but you did," Naru said as he took a piece of paper filled with small texts
and a couple of signatures. "It is said in Agreement No. 2 that the performer,
Hotaru Imai, is to follow what the director asks her to do when she receives her
payment. If she violates any of the rules of the contract, she is to pay triple
of what she is earning from the production. I remember giving you your payment
yesterday, right?"
"Damn contracts," she mumbled in between her teeth.
"Anyway, I expect you to practice on your kissing scene by next week," he said i
n his most villainous voice. "You are going to perform it along with the rehears
als with your co-actors."
He then went towards the door and turned the knob. "That is all for today, kids.
I thank you for your cooperation. Adieu!"
He then left with me and Imai remaining in the classroom. After Naru's footsteps
have faded, I too turned the door knob and found myself in the verge of freedom
. Then, she called my name...
"Ruka-kun."
"Yeah? What is it?" Annoyed, I looked at her. She wasn't looking at me. She kept
on looking on her script and was sweating very heavily.
"I need your help," she finally got some courage to say it after she breathed de
eply. Imai? Needing my help? Will this day get any weirder?
"You... need my help for what?"
"It's because," she hid her face behind the sheets of paper. And I can tell she
is going to say something she doesn't want to. I also feel awkward at the same t
ime. "I have never kissed before."
I think I know where this is going. But, I can't find the courage to get away. C
ome on, legs! Run! Move! Before she tells you she wants to...
"I want to know how it feels like," Bingo.
"W-why are you a-asking me that all of a s-sudden?" Stuttering, I asked her. I s
tarted to feel so embarrassed that I wanted to explode that very moment.
"Because I know you already have experienced it. And I cannot deny the fact that
I have to do this for the play. You are my partner, right? You need to help me.
My money is at stake."
I knew it. It's all for the money.
"Then, what good will that give me?" I said knowing that I will gain nothing fro
m this. You know, kisses aren't that easy to get. How dare she ask for one when

I am only reserving these for someone else. You know who I mean.
"If you really don't want to do this," she said while taking something out of he
r pocket. "I have no choice but to sell this one of a kind masterpiece of mine c
alled..."
She brought out some kind of picture from her pocket. She placed it just inches
from my face and I saw what it really was. It was a picture of me having a night
mare! I was in my pajamas and I didn't even look right. It looked like I had con
stipation while in bed.
"The Most Handsome Animal Boy-kun in a Nightmare," she smiled while she evilly s
aid these words. "The copies of this picture will surely be sold out in a matter
of minutes. I developed already a thousand of these, you know. That is, in case
if you don't agree to my proposition."
This is why I hate Hotaru Imai. She always has something up her sleeve when I do
n't do what she wants me to do. Darn it. Which will I choose? My dignity... or t
he 'purity' of my lips? I don't know where to choose from. But, I know I only ha
ve one choice. And I have to make one fast.
I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I thought to myself while sweating
profusely amidst the air conditioned room of Imai. Both of us where there, holdi
ng our scripts and staying silent, not knowing where to begin. But, we know how
it would end: Me and my lips being stolen by this money-loving freak. I know as
an average guy, I may be overreacting. It's just a kiss, some of you might say.
But, how would you feel if an anteater smothers on you? That's how I feel right
now. I can't even believe I chose this from being humiliated in the entire schoo
l. I can't believe how stupid I am. However, come to think of it, no one will kn
ow about this, right? It's just the two of us here in this room... Unless she ha
s some hidden camera somewhere in this room and show it to everyone in this scho
ol? Much worse... The world? But, she will also be in the video. Which means she
is going to be humiliated along with me. Therefore, she is not likely going to
show this to everybody else... But, what if she edits the video? This is going t
o be a very serious problem.
"Okay..." she began to speak, and I jerked just hearing her. "Let's get this ove
r with."
"You know, frankly," I gulped as I spoke. "I don't trust you. I know you're up t
o something."
"I already know that, Nogi," she answered as she read her script for a few times
. "But, don't worry. You can trust me this time. Because my money is on the line
, my hands are tied. I cannot manipulate the situation as easily as I could. Nar
umi-sensei has the upper hand here. I cannot turn him down."
Again with the money thing, huh? I said to myself. Well, one thing is for sure.
She is telling the truth... I guess. Why can't I bring myself to believe her? Th
e answer is obvious: Because she is Hotaru Imai.
"You still don't believe me?" She read my mind?
"Of course, I don't believe you," I admitted. "After all you have done to me, I
swore to myself never to trust you."
"What do you want me to do so you can trust me?" She said in her usual way, but
with a hint of distress in it.
This is good. I chuckled to myself. I thought long and hard trying to find the m

ost humiliating thing she could do in her entire life, and me witnessing it. Wel
l, it could be better if everyone will see this. But, it's okay. I'll still enjo
y this the same way.
"Hmm..." I said as I was looking up the ceiling hoping to catch an idea. I know
I looked sinister that time. I can't help it. I need to humiliate Imai.
"Hurry up," she said with impatience. "We don't have all day."
I've got nothing. All the ideas that I am coming up will be easily done by her w
ithout any break of sweat. She can do everything, and she has humiliated herself
a lot of times, but nobody seems to notice. In fact, they love her. Giving up,
I told her...
"Okay, I believe you." Darn it. I'm losing.
"Good," she said with relief. Then, she started to feel nervous again. The truth
is, she was trembling. "How do we do it?"
I saw her blush, and I kind of laughed just seeing it. Imai is really just a gir
l, even if she does a lot of stuff. She also gets embarrassed sometimes, huh? Sh
e even shows she cares for Sakura even though she does not want anyone to know a
bout it. Also... She told me and Naru last time that she... liked a 'certain som
eone'. I never knew that Imai was not this empty-hearted all along. Is this anot
her side of Imai? Does Sakura even know about this? Or am I the only one?
I smiled and said, "Close your eyes." I know I'm doing this favor for her. But,
what should I do? I never back down from an agreement. Well, so far. The truth i
s, I don't know why I am so willing now. I am getting crazy.
"Why?" Wide-eyed,
n her this afraid
e girls who don't
she has to do it.

she asked me. I smiled looking at her reaction. I've never see
before. Even if she doesn't show it, I guess she's one of thos
want to be kissed unless if it's from a special someone. But,
For the sake of money.

"Just close your eyes before I change my mind," I sighed.
For a moment, she looked at me with distrust. I knew then she gave up when she a
lso sighed and closed her eyes. Now, it was my turn to panic. I can't believe I'
m doing this. I slowly brought my face to her, feeling and hearing her breath ge
tting stronger, louder. I saw her continue closing her eyes and with fear, tryin
g to expect the inevitable. Her heartbeat was audible now. She squinted her eyes
, obviously panicking. I stopped getting near her and laughed. Surprised, she lo
oked at me and her eyes were filled with hate and shame.
"Stop laughing at me," she said in total embarrassment. Her face was tomato-red.
I was astonished to see her like this. Seeing this other side of Imai is great.
And it just keeps better and better.
"I-I'm sorry," I stumbled through my words, never stopping laughing. "Let's try
it one more time. I promise I won't laugh anymore."
"Oh yes, you should," she said turning redder and redder by the second. "Because
if you do, your immediate death will be certain."
"Okay, okay. Fine," I breathed my last chuckle and wiped a tear in my eye. "Let'
s do it once more. Just try to relax a little. You look like crumpled paper earl
ier when I was going near you."
"Of course, you'll relax," she said turning her head away from me. "You have don

e it twice already. You know how it's supposed to happen. Unlike me, t-this is m
y first time."
"I know that," I told her. "That's why I'm teaching you. I don't know if teachin
g is the right word. I think demonstrating suits it best."
She breathed deeply and gained back her natural color. She looked at me with det
ermined eyes and said: "I'm ready."
"O-okay," I answered, knowing that this was going to be awkward.
She closed her eyes, but still looked tense. Impulsively, I touched her hand and
whispered: "Trust me."
"Yes," she answered and relaxed herself. I sighed one last time deeply and broug
ht my face towards her again. I felt my heart racing intensely. But, I wasn't su
re if it's because I was nervous or was very hesitant to do this. Maybe, I'm jus
t this so heartbroken that I needed a break. I needed something to be focused on
instead of just crying the whole time by myself. But, either way, I'm not as he
sitant to do this as before. I closed my eyes, feeling my heart beat slow and fa
st at the same time. Our breaths mingled with each other. In slow rhythm they sy
nced. Until finally, I felt the touch of her lips with mine. I backed out for ma
ybe a centimeter away, but I felt myself being pulled closer to her. And our lip
s locked.
I thought that it was going to last for only half a second to two. But, the imag
e of Sakura appeared even with my eyes closed and I never brought myself to stop
. Instead, I kissed her harder, holding her face with my hands. I began to taste
her soft lips, and I yearned for more. I was kissing Sakura and I wanted her mo
re than anything. I felt her hand reach for my neck and was losing strength. I h
eld her closer, closer that I felt her breathless. However, it didn't make me st
op. I continued to kiss her more, harder. I felt her strength failing that I lay
her body on her bed. I caressed her face and I felt that a tear just flowed fro
m her eye. Our breathing hastened, our hearts drumming uncontrollably. I felt my
self overcome by my emotions that I started to cry too. I removed my lips from h
er and whispered in her ear, "I love you."
"I have always wanted to hear that from you," she hiccuped as said these words.
Startled, I brought myself back to reality. It was not Sakura who was with me. I
t was... Imai. I cupped my hand over my mouth realizing that I just did somethin
g unforgivable: telling someone I love her even though I don't. Kissing her with
such intensity that both of us were not able to control ourselves. And, what di
d she just say to me? I was about to ask her when...
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Surprised, we rose up from the bed and fixed ourselves. Imai then asked the intr
uder, "Who is it?"
"It's me, Mikan," the girl from behind the door answered. "I have just finished
photocopying your notes. I want to return them to you. May I come in?"
"S-sure," Imai stuttered. She then looked at me; me, I just stared blankly at he
r. "I-I'll be there for a second."
She stood up, and her gait was shaky. I wanted to help her but she didn't let me
. So, I went back to sit on the bed as she went towards the door and open it.
"Hotaru, thank you for the notes," Sakura said as she returned three pieces of n

otebooks to her best friend. "These notes are a lifesaver. I don't know what to
do without them. And- whoa. Why is Ruka-pyon here?"
Her brown eyes looked at me with astonishment and curiosity. I know that the que
stion that is going on her mind right now is, What is Ruka-pyon doing in Hotaru'
s room?
"Hi, Sakura," I forced a smile hoping to not look suspicious to her.
"H-Hi," she answered back. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"We're practicing for the school play," Imai spoke as I was going to say somethi
ng. "Because we have a lot of free time today, we both decided to practice with
each other as much as possible to lessen rehearsal time."
"I see," Sakura said still looking at me. I totally understand why she looks tha
t way at me.
"So, dummy," her best friend spoke once again. "Are these notebooks the only rea
son you came here?"
"Actually, it isn't." She admitted. "I came here because I was worried about you
. You have been acting strange since you were given the role of Juliet. Is there
something you want to tell me?"
"No, I'm fine," she lied. "It's just that Narumi-sensei has given us a very diff
icult training for us to improve our acting skills."
"I see," Sakura answered as she comprehended Imai's words. "Well, then. Because
I think I have disturbed you both, I guess I have to leave."
"Wait!" I shouted. "I'm coming with you."
"Huh?" confused, Sakura asked.
"It's because we just had finished our practice. I think I'm going to hit the ha
y for a while," I told her as I was nearing the door.
"Oh, okay," I saw her smile. But, why can't I find myself smile along with her?
"Hotaru, Ruka-pyon and I are leaving. You had a long and hectic day. Why don't y
ou get some sleep, too?"
"All right," I heard her answer in her usual lifeless way. "Ruka-kun," she conti
nued and I jerked just hearing my name.
"Yes?" I answered, not looking at her. What happened just now just sent me shive
ring down my spine.
"Thank you for your cooperation."
"Y-yeah, thank you, too." I answered.
As I was about to leave the room, I turned back and looked at Imai.
"For what I have done, I'm sorry," I told her. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean
to say that. I also didn't mean to do tha-"
"It's okay," she said. "I'm sorry, too."
I then closed the door and went for a little walk along the hallways with Sakura

. However, we only stayed silent. We didn't know who was going to speak out firs
t. Me, or her?
"Ruka-pyon," she began to speak.
"Y-yes?" I answered.
"It's just not only Hotaru has changed these past few days. Also, you. Ever sinc
e Narumi-sensei gave you the roles, you have been quieter than usual."
I chuckled as I heard her speak. "No, we're just really serious about the play.
We don't want anything to get in the practice, you know. I'm sorry if you feel l
onely."
"But, you know, I've never seen her this dedicated to anything. Even if she make
s such cute inventions, she still wasn't satisfied with just them. She wanted mo
re,"
Then, awkward silence. I need to find a topic. I need to find a topic, fast! The
n, I suddenly remembered about just this afternoon.
"Sakura, does Imai like someone?"
I saw Sakura jerk in surprise.
"W-where did you hear that? D-do you know him?"
"Actually, I don't," I answered her.
I then saw her smile and said to me:
"Take care of Hotaru. Please, Ruka-pyon."
Damn it... I wasn't able to sleep for three straight nights. Ever since that inc
ident in Imai's room. "I have always wanted to hear that from you," It just can'
t get off of my head! This has been keeping me confused for the past three days.
Why did she say it? And what did Sakura mean by "take care of her"? Is she expe
cting that I am going to get along with that... that... I don't even know what t
o call her now. Imai has become a stranger being to me now. Unlike before, where
I can somewhat get the pattern of her character, she has become a mystery to me
. Because of that, I can't help thinking about her. Don't get the wrong idea. I
just want to know what's going on with that girl. I don't understand her anymore
.
I dug my face in my hands and groaned in frustration. I never felt this way for
a person before. I can't even describe this feeling. It is a mixture of anger, c
onfusion, frustration, and other more emotions ? all of them coalescing into one
and driving me crazy every single day. I don't even know how many times I bumpe
d my head onto a wall just to keep myself in bed.
"Ruka, are you all right?" A familiar voice seemed to ask me. I turned my head t
owards the side and discovered the voice was from Natsume. "You look awful," he
continued.
"It's nothing, Natsume." I falsely assured him while forcing to smile. It was ha
rd to smile with a strength as weak as I have now. I turned away hoping that he
did not see the dark circles around my eyes due to insomnia.
I sighed and tried to sleep on the table. One sheep, two sheep, three sheep... I
started to count in my mind hoping to get sandman to visit me even if it will j

ust take ten to fifteen minutes of sleep. Twenty sheep, twenty-one sheep, twenty
-two sheep... Nothing. I gave up and raised my head back up. I rubbed my eyes to
clear my sight before opening them. As I opened them, I was startled to see shi
ny brown orbs in front of me. I moved back and shouted with fright.
"Ruka-pyon, it's me!" A startled but comforting voice told me. It was Sakura. Sh
e held my trembling face with her hands. I felt heat rush towards my face and bl
ood racing towards my head. I stopped shaking and calmed down.
"Sakura," I whispered. Why is she the only who could make me feel safe and calm
despite how hard I try to do it myself? She seems she has magic in her. She neve
r fails to make me feel better.
"I'm sorry I startled you," she started to speak with caution hoping not to surp
rise me again. "I was planning to greet you 'good morning' but it seemed that yo
u were sleeping. I just wanted to whisper in your ear instead."
I was about to talk when I felt an eerie presence enter the classroom. I started
to tremble again when I saw... her. I felt that I couldn't move. I felt that I
was under some scary spell that prevented me from escaping a wrath and anger of
a revengeful witch. Was Imai really angry at me for doing such an unexpected thi
ng to her? I told her I was sorry! It was a total surge of hormones that I wasn'
t able to control myself. I didn't mean to do it.
"Whoa, that's interesting." Another familiar voice resounded in the room and hel
ped me escape from that paralyzing spell. I looked from the far end of the room
and saw Koko, smiling shrewdly at me. This is bad. He already knows.
"Hey, Koko," I literally jumped from my seat as I heard Natsume call him. Damn i
t. He's going to ask that damn mind-reader this secret that I am trying to hide
from him. "Tell me what you heard from Ruka's mind."
I looked pleadingly at Koko and told him in my mind: Please, Koko. Don't tell hi
m.
He looked at me as he continued to smile with obvious cruelty in face. "It conce
rns him and Imai. They did something... interesting." He chuckled silently and l
oved seeing me in pain. I felt sweat run down my face. I bit my lip pleading him
again and again. Have mercy on me. Can't you see the pain that I am going throu
gh? He ignored me and started to open his mouth. I closed my eyes, waiting for m
y fated humiliation. I then heard the sound... BAKA!
I opened my eyes and saw Koko cover his bleeding while writhing in pain. I looke
d at the other side of the room and saw Imai targeting her BakaGun towards his d
irection. Every one else in the classroom just stayed silent in total shock. I,
myself, was shocked, too. My senses were in a total blur after that. I then saw
her keep her deadly weapon with an unlimited number of ammunition in her pocket.
"Don't make a big deal out of my and Nogi's fight," she started to speak. "It do
es not concern any of you."
Fight? What does she mean fight? I asked myself. I knew she was lying. I also kn
ew why. If Koko was going to tell everyone about... what happened, she will be l
inked with the humiliation. Imai, a person who was known for integrity, pride an
d honor, will never want to be mortified. She then looked blankly at me. I felt
myself jerk in surprise. What is she going to do now?
"If anyone of you ask this jerk about what he knows," she said while pointing at
Koko. "I will bring you to your immediate death. Am I understood?" Then she loo
ked at everyone in the classroom.

Everyone else in the classroom nodded in fear and went back to their usual daily
activities. I saw her make her way through the classroom and went out. I impuls
ively went after her. I didn't know why, but I wanted to talk to her. I felt tha
t if I talked to her, this thing that has been bothering me for the past three d
ays will not haunt me anymore. I went past everyone in the classroom and proceed
ed towards the door. When I opened it, I never expected to see her. It was Imai,
and it seemed that she was anticipating me following her.
"You wanted to see me?" Her lavender eyes looking more dull pierced on my aquama
rine ones.
"Y-yes," I told her. I sighed for a while, slowing the pace of my heart beat a l
ittle. "I want to talk to you."
"If it concerns about what happened," she said bowing her head down. "I don't wa
nt to talk about it."
She then turned her back at me and continued to walk. Unsatisfied with her answe
r, I took her hand and pinned her on the hallway's wall. Her startled eyes looke
d at me as I mustered my strength to keep her from squirming away from my grip.
I wanted to know everything that has been keeping me confused all this time. I w
anted my mind to think clearer. I wanted all those unanswered questions to be an
swered. I wanted to know why this has been happening to me. I breathed one deep
sigh and looked at her.
"I just want this to end, okay?" I told her. "I want you to answer me truthfully
."
I saw panic written in her eyes. She knew what I was going to ask. However, she
cannot run away from me now. "I want you to promise me that you are going to tel
l me the truth," I continued.
"Let me go," she said as she tried to get out of my clutches. However, I retaine
d my strength keeping her from escaping from me. She cannot get away from me tha
t easily.
"I want you to answer me," She finally gave up moving and bowed her head down in
retreat. I breathed once again and carefully started to state my question. "I h
eard you say 'I have always wanted to hear that from you'. What did you mean by
that?"
She kept silent not planning to answer my question. Frustrated, I pulled her fac
e towards me and made her look at me. However, as I was going to force her to an
swer my question, I saw tears flow from her eyes. Surprised, I moved back away f
rom her and just stood still. Why the heck was Imai crying? I know now that she
has been keeping something from me. But, I have no idea what it is. She then tur
ned her back at me and wiped her tears with the sleeve of her blazer.
"Narumi-sensei has been waiting for us to practice with him for three days," she
began to speak as I heard her sniff one or two times. "I cannot afford to miss
another day of it. My salary is going to be affected. So, I'm expecting the both
of us to go to him later." She then started to walk away from me until the soun
d of her footsteps was the only thing that indicated her presence.
-0There I was, in front of the classroom door thinking if I was going to attend th
e practice or not. However, I knew that I had to do this. Everybody is expecting
that a show will go on, so I must do this. Hesitantly, I held the doorknob in a

potent grip and turned it. The door creaked as I opened the door and I saw them
: Imai and Naru.
"I see Romeo has finally arrived," Naru started to talk. "I thought you will nev
er come."
I just stayed silent, went towards my seat, and placed the script in front of my
face. Even though I have memorized each letter, word, number and spaces in the
script already, I didn't want to take my eyes off of it. I didn't want to see my
self with two of my most despised people in my life. "Let's just go through this
, Naru." I told him with a hint of irritation in my voice.
"Well, actually," he began to speak in his usual vexatious tone. "You are here b
ecause I just want to announce something to you. And I know both of you will be
happy."
"Is the play canceled?" I asked hoping that he will say 'yes'. I didn't want thi
s to go on any further. A lot of strange things has happened ever since he has p
lanned on doing the play.
"Fortunately, no," Damn it. "But, I have better news for you. You won't be comin
g back here after this." Hearing that, I placed my attention towards him and wai
ting for what he has to say. What did he mean that we won't be coming back here?
I felt Imai look at him, too. Unconsciously, I looked at her wanting to see her
expression ? if she was happy that she was not going to do this useless play, o
r mad because she won't be receiving more money. But, Naru said that the play is
still going to happen. What the heck is he trying to do?
"What do you mean, Sensei," Imai asked before I did.
"Because you have already memorized you lines, and practiced your kissing scene,
which, by the way I knew happened because you have been absent for practice may
be because of trauma or some other kind of effect, I have planned to schedule th
e over-all rehearsal with your co-actors to start this Saturday."
So, early practice, huh? Wait a second. He knows about what had happened? He kno
ws about the kiss? He has been expecting this? Wait 'til I get my hands on you,
Naru.
"But, Sensei," Imai continued to talk, still with a blank look in her eyes. "Why
did you say that we are not coming back here?" That was a good question, by the
way.
"My, my, my, Hotaru-chan," Naru chuckled. "I thought that you are an honor stude
nt. I thought you would know why we can't be going back here. How can a whole ca
st fit inside this cramped classroom? Especially that we need a big space for th
e different scenes. Beginning on Saturday, we will be occupying the auditorium f
or our practices."
Naru then stood from his seat and walked towards the door. "You see those bunch
of papers over there?" Imai and I looked at the direction he was pointing to, an
d we saw a pile of scripts on a nearby table. I took one and coincidentally got
the script of Juliet's nurse, which is Sakura's role in the play. "I want you to
give those scripts to their respective owners. Well, I've got to run. I still h
ave an appointment in Misaki-sensei's green house. Adieu!"
The door closed and we, Imai and I, were the ones left inside the room. The wall
clock's ticks echoed in the almost empty room as she and I stayed silent for se
veral minutes. It seemed to continue on forever. I wanted to stand up and leave,
but my feet seemed not to allow me to. Getting tired of the deafening silence,

I started to speak:
"I guess we're kind of ahead of schedule, huh?" I know these weren't the words I
wanted to say to her. What I really wanted her to hear are the questions: Why w
on't you explain those words you said to me three days ago? Why did you cry when
I forced you to explain to me? Why don't you want us to speak of the incident t
hat happened three days ago?
I really wanted an explanation. But, I just couldn't bring myself to ask her for
it. I looked at her while she continued to play the seams of her skirt. I waite
d for her response in vain. Not even a single sound she made. I scratched my hea
d in frustration and sat like a fool talking to the air. As I grew tired of the
intense dreariness, I suddenly heard her whisper to herself. Curious, I went nea
r her and squatted in front of her, trying to have a clearer view of her face co
vered by her long black hair.
"What did you say?" I asked her. She, with obvious hesitation written on her fac
e, looked back at me. She bit her lower lip and crimson tinted it. She opened he
r mouth slightly as if to say something, but she closed it again. She bowed her
head lower and her hair fully curtained her face. I have never seen Imai this de
licate-looking before. It seemed that just one little touch from me would send h
er breaking into a million pieces. I carefully stood up finding a way to get far
ther away from her. As I turned my back, I felt a tug on my uniform blazer. I lo
oked back, seeing those lilac-colored eyes pointing towards mine.
"I just want things to go back to normal," she started to speak in her usual man
ner. "I want to forget that complicated thing that happened to us. I really don'
t want to remember it anymore. The truth is, I wasn't able to think clearly that
time. That is why I said those weird things back there. "
Honestly, I suddenly believed her. What happened in three days ago did not happe
n in our conscious mind. It was a total surge of hormones that led us to thinkin
g irrational things. It was nothing. Everything that has happened was nothing. W
e both wanted to go back to normal, and that is what we are going to do. Even th
ough I will be back to being humiliated by her, and she being hated by me, every
thing will be all right. As long as things will not get complicated as what had
happened three days ago.
"Me too," I told her.
She produced a sigh of relief and a smile crept in her almost lifeless face. I s
miled back at her and continued to look at her. However, I suddenly felt a hard
object hit my head in an intense strength which led me rolling on the floor in p
ain. Everything was so sudden, but I was certain that I heard the sound Baka fro
m her infamous weapon, the BakaGun.
I touched my jaw, hoping that it was not dislocated. I struggled to get back on
my feet and looked at what hit me with hate. I can't believe she just did that.
I saw her giggle silently as I writhed in pain. However, I wasn't able to get an
gry at her. Seeing her go back to her usually diabolic self brought me at peace
with myself. Maybe things will always stay this way. I saw her stop laughing as
saw my reaction. She was hoping that I will get hysterical or something.
"You're freaking me out, Nogi," she spoke. "I was expecting either a shout or an
attempted punch from you."
"It's your lucky day, Imai," I told her. "I don't feel like getting angry at you
today."
"Well, that sucks," she said with dismay as she kept her BakaGun in her pocket.

She then stood up and started to walk away from me. "I guess we'll be bringing t
hose scripts to their respective owners."
"Yeah," I responded with dissatisfaction. I don't know. But, my mind is telling
me that my day wasn't supposed to end this way. I felt my hand starting to have
a mind of its own and it held Imai's unexpectedly soft and dainty ones. I was ho
ping to feel a rough sensation on her palms as she was used to holding hammers a
nd screws. Hers was smooth and soft which I was not able to let go. Of course, s
he placed her shocked eyes on me and started to wonder what I was about to do.
"What is it?" She asked in her usual monotone voice.
"I don't feel like giving our classmates their scripts today," I answered with a
bit of timidity in my voice. "And you have been doing a lot of boring stuff in
your lab lately."
I knew that questions began to circle her mind when I said that. I pulled her cl
oser, with me doing it involuntarily. I smiled at her. However, I was confused b
ecause my mind began working without me dictating it. It seemed I was controlled
by my mind, instead of me controlling my mind. She tried to struggle out of my
grasp, but was unsuccessful of doing so. I pulled her along with me towards the
door and exited out of the room, leaving the scripts on the table.
"Nogi, let go of me!" She pleaded as she tried to scratch my hand off hers. "I s
till have a lot of things to finish in my lab."
I laughed saying, "All you think about is your lab. Why don't you try enjoying o
nce in a while?"
"Enjoyment according to my dictionary is my laboratory," she said as I saw her f
inding her BakaGun inside her pocket.
"However, I do not care about your dictionary," I continued to pull her, and cau
tiously waiting for her to shoot. "And..."
We both stopped walking. I stood silent for a while, hesitating to say what I wa
s about to say. Imai, with an apparent curiosity in her voice, said, "And what?"
I let go of her hand, and I found her aiming her weapon at me. I let out a big s
igh and continued to look at her. She then lowered her BakaGun a little and prep
ared to listen to what I was about to say. I smiled faintly at her and said, "I
just wanted to feel relief once in a while. It has been a long time since I have
given time to myself. I hope you understand, Imai. I just want to let go of the
bad things that has happened to me."
Her eyes never left me as I said those words. I saw her lips form into a straigh
t line as she kept her weapon back into her pocket. I knew she gave in. I wasn't
able to expect that she would, though. We both kept silent for a moment not kno
wing which of us was going to speak first. However, I then heard her soft voice
say to me, "All right. You win. You are free to do whatever you want."
"Don't worry, Imai. I'll give you the time of your life."
My feet started to tread on the moist afternoon grass as I, holding Imai's unusu
ally cold hand, passed deep into the Northern Forest. Trees towered over us maki
ng us hidden from anyone's sight. Loud panting began to become audible as our jo
urney progressed. I looked behind me and saw her gait failing because of exhaust
ion. I guess Imai is not used to activities which require to much body movements
. It is just strange that the whole time we have been walking, she did not utter
one single complaint of being tired. Feeling sorry for her ? which I do not kno

w why ? I stopped walking.
"Have we arrived?" She asked me with an obvious sign of relief in her voice.
I kept silent and abruptly carried her in my arms. I expected her to be heavy be
cause she doesn't move much in her every day life, but I was wrong. She was ligh
t as a feather. She felt so dainty that I was afraid to let her fall. However, I
also was hesitant to tighten my hold on her, in fear that she might break in my
arms. I never knew that Imai was this fragile despite her invulnerable appearan
ce.
Not knowing that I was drowned in my thoughts
mpact on my head which almost brought me down
girl in my arms. I groaned in pain, still not
left cheek started to throb in pain and lost

again, I suddenly felt a painful i
on my knees and letting go of the
failing to keep her in my grip. My
control.

"Why the heck did you do that?" I practically shouted at her.
"That was what I wanted to ask you," her voice shaking while she hid her favored
ammunition, the BakaGun, in her pocket. "I do not understand why you carried me
out of nowhere."
"You seemed to begin to get tired," I told her in an inaudible voice, ashamed of
my answer. "I just wanted to help."
"I don't need your help," she started to squirm to loosen my grip. "I can take c
are of myself. I am Hotaru Imai."
I don't know why, but I was angered with what she had said. I suddenly tightened
my grasp on her and heard her whimpered silently in pain. I felt myself glaring
into her now dark violet eyes because of the shadows of the sunset beginning to
envelop us. She stared back at me, hoping to win in this glaring contest. I was
not able to remember how much time was consumed by just staring at each other w
ondering which one of us was going to give up. After who knows how long, I claim
ed victory after she bowed her head in defeat. I sighed and started to speak wha
t I have always wanted to tell her.
"Don't give me that 'I am Hotaru Imai' crap," I said to her. "Don't act strong e
ven though you are not. Acting strong would just let your feelings ? fear and hu
rt ? well up inside you and destroy you. You should show weakness sometimes, to
at least pour your feelings out once in a while."
For a few moments, the both of us kept silent. I then felt her frail body trembl
ing intensely in my arms. I was thinking that she might have been angered by my
words. Starting to feel guilty, I decided to apologize.
"Imai, I'-"
"I can't help acting strong," she started to speak in her softest voice when she
interrupted my apology. "I don't want to be thought of as weak like other girls
. I don't want to cry. I don't want anyone to take advantage of me."
Hearing her answer, I loosened my hold on her. I sighed deeply and pondered on h
er words. I don't want to be thought of as weak like other girls. I don't want t
o cry. I don't want anyone to take advantage of me. I felt my eyes droop as I lo
oked at her starting to grow soft in my arms. I know that I have entered into a
world Imai has been hiding from me and from everyone else. The world of her weak
ness and her secrets. A sorry smile crept on my face as I opened my mouth to spe
ak.

"Well, your best friend does not
In fact, her weaknesses has made
es as a corner stone to form her
though she's a girl, I think she

worry if she shows her weakness," I told her. "
her stronger as a person. She made her weakness
personality and created her own strength. Even
is the strongest person there is."

"That is why you fell in love with her," she said with a bit of hesitation in he
r voice.
"Yeah, you could say that," I laughed.
The dusk dawned over us and stars became prominent in the black sky. The night b
reeze passed over us as we kept ourselves silent, not knowing what to say. I loo
ked at the girl in my arms and she was deep in thought, and she seemed... hurtin
g. I wanted to ask, but was not able to, knowing that she will never tell me any
thing. She's Hotaru Imai after all. I decided to bring her down, but was afraid
that this girl in my arms might break apart when I do.
"Now, will you let me down?" She asked me.
"Sure," I said as I carefully brought her on her feet.
-0A curtain of leaves blocked the path we were trudging on. However, streaks of wh
ite light passed through the spaces of the leaves. Knowing that we have already
arrived, I brought the curtain to the side and entered, along with Imai, into a
place which beheld a large pond embedded with lotus flowers and the glittering r
eflection of the stars. I saw the girl beside me gape her mouth unconsciously in
awe. I smiled to myself and held her hand. She jerked in surprise but immediate
ly composed herself.
"You know," I started to talk. "I have always wanted the one I love to see this.
"
I saw her bring her eyes towards me and wait for what else I had to say. I felt
my heart beat faster as an image of Sakura flashed before my eyes. An unexplaina
ble pain then started to radiate in my chest. A tear formed in my eye and I wipe
d it with my finger. I forced a smile as I faced Imai and continued to talk.
"But, I think it is not possible anymore. She already has someone for her." I th
en felt another tear fall from my eye. I continued to smile even though the hurt
was unbearable. "However, I don't want a beautiful place like this to be left u
nseen. That's why I brought you here."
Numerous dainty footsteps then resounded in the supposed to be deserted place. T
he family of my then pet rabbit, Usagi, brought flowers of different kinds to Im
ai. Thinking that she was Sakura, they brought her flowers. I was about to stop
them when the supposed to be aloof inventor took the flowers and patted each and
every one of them. She whispered gentle whispers to them, and the rabbits giggl
ed silently as they went back to their holes. I felt myself smile when I saw her
fondling the petals of the flowers. She looked at me, then avoided my eyes. She
bit her lips and turned her back to me.
"You know, Nogi," she spoke. "Mikan would have loved to see this."
Am I hearing this right? Imai indirectly saying that she was impressed by this?
This has to be a dream. A smile appeared on my face when the thought of Sakura w
ould have loved to see this entered my mind. Of course, I know she would have lo
ved to see this. Simple things could make her happy, unlike Imai there. But, the
problem is, she does not love me. I shook that bad thought away from my mind an

d proceeded for the second part of the supposed to be surprise for Sakura:
I placed two of my fingers in my mouth and blew a loud whistle which echoed in t
he whole academy. I saw Imai look at me, with curiosity painted on her face. I s
miled at her, knowing that what was going to happen will totally surprise her. T
he then silent night was overcome by the resounding flaps of the wings of a gian
t bird which swooped the both of us off the ground. And for the first time in my
life, I heard Imai scream.
The cold wind blew on my face and the thrill of flying on a giant eagle poured j
oy into my system. It has been a while since I have done this sort of thing. As
I was enjoying the adrenaline-spewing ride, I saw Imai in front of me cover her
face with her hands and continued screaming. I laughed loudly as the eagle then
descended in an unimaginable speed.
"Put me down!" Imai shouted at me. "I'm going to make you regret even being born
in the world if you don't put me down right now!"
I patted the back of the eagle indicating him to slow his speed a bit. He obeyed
. I saw Imai continuing to keep herself from seeing everything around her in fea
r of dying. I held both of her ice-cold, trembling hands and pulled them away fr
om her eyes. However, she was still closing her eyes, shaking terribly. I placed
my body closer to her back and placed my lips close to her ear.
"Don't be afraid," I whispered. "I'll protect you."
"I can't," she answered with intense fear in her voice.
"You can do it," I told her gently. "Trust me."
I embraced her tightly, assuring her that she'll be safe. I then saw her slowly
opening her eyes and she gasped in fear. Abruptly, she placed her head on my che
st, whispering things inaudible to my hearing. I took my hand and found my way t
o her chin. I raised her head up, and saw her look at me with a plea to free her
. I buried my eyes into her frightened ones. I smiled at her and made her look a
t the academy from above. I embraced her tighter, and I felt her body relax.
"Hang on," I whispered to her. "We're going to have a bumpy ride."
I patted the eagle three times and he whirled in the dark starry night in an int
ense speed. I felt Imai tighten her grip on my arms as we went into twists and t
urns. She let out a fearful shout at first, then she started to laugh hysterical
ly. Finding joy in her reactions, I shouted and laughed with delight myself.
We flew above the different structures of the academy. Everything was more beaut
iful at night. The academy was full of life as it was lighted like lively candle
s in a dark room. It looked like twinkling fireflies from above. Come to think a
bout it, Imai's name is Hotaru which means firefly. What the heck am I thinking?
Why am I thinking of Imai's name at a time like this?
I patted the eagle's back twice, indicating to make his speed slower. He gladly
obeyed and glided gently in the sky. Imai and I watched the twinkling of numerou
s stars studded in the sky. I wanted to get one and tried to reach out my hand a
s far as I could. But, I was not able to take even just one tiny star. Disappoin
ted, I sighed deeply and continued with the eagle ride.
"Look down there," I pointed to the far end of the Northern Forest. "There is wh
ere that pond we saw a while ago located."
"It's... beautiful," she said with awe written in her face. I saw her smile wide

ly as she saw the pond was actually shaped like a heart with the pink lotuses ou
tlining the pond. The reflection of the stars on the pond lighted the lotuses wh
ich made it look like a pink lighted heart. "I have never seen such majesty like
this in my entire life," she added.
"Never underestimate the beauty of nature," I told her. "Unlike your inventions,
nature has a its own beauty ? not artificial and greatly appreciated."
"Whatever, Nogi," she said while hiding her face beneath her bangs. But, it was
obvious that she was smiling secretly and agreeing to what I said. "Let's go bac
k. It's almost dinner time."
"Right," I obeyed and brought ourselves back to the ground.
-0We found ourselves in front of Imai's room after our long journey from the North
ern Forest. She leaned her back on the wooden door of her room and I was approxi
mately five feet in front of her and starting to think of saying goodbye any sec
ond now. As I was about to speak, she began to say:
"Well, I guess this is where we say goodbye?"
"Uh, yeah. I guess you're right." I can't believe that she always predicts what
I was going to do. I don't even remember, however, that she has a mind-reading a
lice or something. Saying goodbye, I turned back and started to walk along the d
ormitory's hallway. I heard her door close and after that, my footsteps where th
e only ones audible in the void building, as if I was the only living creature t
here. Suddenly, I heard a door creak and I turned back. It was Imai, with her do
or opened slightly, hiding behind the door frame.
"Thank you..." she said almost loudly. "I had a good time."
I knew I looked surprised when I heard her thank me. I felt my heart stop and my
breathing ceased. Thoughts then began to enter my mind like: Is this really Ima
i? Or Am I dreaming that Imai has suddenly become nice to me? Or Is this a robot
she made in order to make it do her every need? But, either way, I felt a smile
creep upon my face. I was happy, and I can't explain why. I waved my hand, indi
cating that I was leaving and saw her close the door again. I turned my back onc
e more and started to walk back to my room.
-0My hand entered my pocket as I felt the rough edges of the keys I had and pulled
them out. As I was going to one of the keys into the doorknob of my door, it su
ddenly opened. Black hair and crimson eyes beheld themselves in front of me. And
they all belong to a person I have always been familiar of, Natsume Hyuuga. The
person who is and will always be better than me.
"Hi," he said to me in a somewhat hoarse voice.
"Hi," I answered back forcibly smiling, and avoiding my eyes to look upon him. I
was afraid that jealousy and inferiority will further engulf my heart and make
me hate myself more.
"It's been a while since we've last talked to each other," he said while smiling
.
I just kept silent, and I felt my fake smile fade away from my face. Go away, Na
tsume! Please go away! I thought to myself. I started shaking terribly in fear t

hat my heart has already reached its limit. I know I shouldn't get angry about t
his, but I wasn't able to help it. Envy has completely enveloped my heart and ev
erything around my started to grow dark.
"Please, Natsume. I don't feel like talking right now," I bowed my head hoping t
hat if I don't look at him, I may not hurt him.
"Ruka, I'm sorry. I just want things to get back to the way it used to be," he s
aid. Then I snapped.
My hand curved into a fist and I smote my once best friend across his left cheek
and threw him banging his body unto my wooden floor. My ears began deafening an
d my furious heart drummed on the surface of my chest that it was ready to get o
ut any moment. I have never felt this outraged in my entire life.
I saw him almost failing to get up on his feet. He looked at me with sorrow and
wiped the flowing blood on the side of his mouth with his right hand. "Ruka," he
said.
Tears of frustration and anger formed in my eyes and finally flowed along my tre
mbling cheeks. I slammed the door behind me and proceeded with another blow at h
im. He fell flat on his back and I rained numerous punches at him. I wasn't able
to control myself anymore. It was as if my body was possessed by some violent s
pirit.
I continued to beat him until I shouted at the top of my voice and poured all of
my strength into my right fist. As I was going to hit him with my strongest,
"Ruka..." I heard him say weakly. His face grew sore and red because of the punc
hes I released at him. Blood spread messily across his jaw. But, he still had th
at look of sorrow in his eyes that I wasn't expecting. I thought he was going to
look at me in anger because of what I did to him. I thought that he was going t
o get back at me. But, why didn't he? I let out another shout and punched the co
ld, hard floor beside him. I felt pain radiate into my knuckles and I groaned a
little. I stood up, and brought myself to sit on my bed.
"It will be impossible, Natsume," I told him as he tried to rise himself up. I s
aw him look at me, with that frustrating pity in his swollen eyes. I swallowed h
ard and began to speak again. "It is impossible to bring us back to how it was b
efore."
He limply brought himself to sit on my left and sighed deeply. I then felt him c
huckle under his breath. Curious of what he was laughing at, asked him.
"Do you remember the last time we fought?" He asked me smiling, obvious that he
was still in pain, though.
"That wasn't a fight," I answered him. "You have already won even the fight hasn
't started."
The almost-fight happened long ago when we were seven or eight years old, when I
told Natsume that her sister, Aoi, was mine. Even though I was still very young
, I already had plans of marrying her. I know, that is a stupid way for a kid li
ke that to think that way. Anyway, I challenged Natsume on a duel to see where A
oi really belongs to. He didn't say yes though. I hit Natsume as hard as my litt
le fists could make me. However, he didn't respond to my punches. He just blankl
y stared at me. Getting frustrated, I was about to hit my hardest blow when Aoi
ran towards her brother and hugged him. Before it even started, Natsume has alre
ady won.

Just like right now.
"I'm just so stupid, am I not?" I said laughing and hitting myself on the head a
t the same time. "I really can't accept defeat."
I then felt a light weight on my left shoulder. I looked upon it and saw Natsume
's hand. It had traces of his blood he wiped off from his mouth. Feeling guilty
of hurting him, I bowed my head and brushed his hand off my shoulder.
"You weren't defeated," he started to speak with an obvious discomfort in his mo
uth. "However, you thought that you were going to lose to me even though any cha
llenges between us happened. You always retreat."
I just kept silent, knowing that what he said was true. I was afraid, afraid to
get hurt. I was afraid to be told in the face that I was a loser. So, I always b
ack down before anything starts. Yes, I may have hit Natsume many times, but it
my mind, I already thought that I have lost.
"You know, Ruka," he continued to speak. "Mikan and I have been worrying about y
ou these past days. You never talk to us. You never tell us anything. You have b
een drifting away from us that we are afraid that we might lose you one day. Tha
t is why we've decided that..."
"You've decided that you'll break up and go back to the way that we used to be?"
I asked him with a hint of anger in my voice. He didn't respond.
"And then what?" I continued. "We'll keep on lying with each other that nothing
has happened? Natsume, I can't make you and Sakura to do that sort of thing. I h
ave decided to give you what was rightfully yours. And, nothing is going to chan
ge that."
"But, Ruka..." he then stopped talking when he saw me smile.
"I'll be all right, Natsume," I told him. "Don't worry about me. I
ssed or rough at times, but I'll be okay. I'm still on the process
but I think I'll be able to go through with it. You're my friend,
est friend. I can endure everything as long as it makes you happy.
with Sakura."

may act depre
of moving on,
Natsume. My b
The same goes

I have never thought that I was able to say those things. But, they were the tru
th. Natsume smiled at me and punched me lightly on the shoulder. I laughed a lit
tle and so did he.
"Don't say those kinds of things anymore," he told me. "I might end up crying."
"Whatever," I laughed.
I helped him stand up and go towards the door. I waved goodbye at him as he turn
ed his back and placed both his hands in his pockets. As I was going to close th
e door, I heard him say,
"If you need any help in love problems, Ruka, I'll definitely be there for you."
"That sounds weird coming from you," I answered him with a smirk crawling in my
face.
I closed the door and switched off the lights to drift off to dreamland.
"Natsume! What happened to you?" Sakura shouted at the top of her voice when she
saw my best friend ? covered in bruises, and me beside him standing in front of

her door. I felt guilt crush my whole being. However, I already expected that s
he would react this way. So, I bowed down as low as I can get and chanted long p
leas of forgiveness from her.
"Sakura, I am truly sorry! I acted so ruthlessly at Natsume. I did-" I was then
interrupted when a sudden embrace from her wrapped my body. My heart stopped for
a second and beat at an intense speed that I felt the blood in my whole body pu
mp its way into my head that I started to get dizzy. I pulled back, inhaling and
exhaling deeply to at least nullify this disturbing feeling.
"It's okay. I was just joking," she laughed as she stepped back. "I know what ha
d happened last night. Natsume told me everything."
Reminiscing about the incident in my room, I felt so ashamed of myself that I al
most fainted. I wanted to die that very moment. Sakura has already known a part
of me that I didn't want her ? or anyone else ? see. I did something unacceptabl
e and she has heard of it! "Sakura! Natsume! I'm very sorry!" I almost shouted a
s my heart was engulfed with shame.
"Ruka-pyon, we are the ones who are sorry," she said with a hint of sadness in h
er voice. "Because of us, you are suffering this pain. We never wanted you to ex
perience hurt, but we still made you feel it. As your friends, it is our respons
ibility to ensure your happiness. But, we failed to do it."
"Do not think that you have done wrong against me, Sakura," I reacted. "You two
are the most precious parts of my life. You and Natsume practically created the
whole of me. There is no way that you will ever make me despise you. It's true t
hat I was hurt of what had happened among us, but... I will never hate you."
Never. I will never ever hate you. I thought to myself as I looked at the most i
mportant people of my life. Natsume. The first and last treasured friend that I
will ever have. The first time that I met him, I then realized that my existence
has purpose in this world. Being brought up in a warped family, I never felt so
important, until Natsume came. Behind his aloof appearance, he is a person who
has a heart bigger than anyone else's. Then, there's Sakura. The girl I truly fe
ll in love with. Just a simple smile from her or just a glance would make my who
le world brighter and more colorful. I have experienced feelings I never thought
I have just knowing her ? frustration, indifference, love.
"You two are so important to me that I don't know what to do when I don't have y
ou," I continued. That is right. I can't survive without them. In this world of
loneliness I am in presently, they are the only ones who somewhat fill the hole
of emptiness in me.
"But, you know, Ruka," Natsume started to speak. "We may not always be there whe
n you need us. You still need someone just for you to be by your side always."
That is impossible, Natsume. I thought. You already have her.
"Yeah, Ruka-pyon," Sakura added. "You may not see her now. But, there is someone
born and created for you. You haven't looked further enough. Or rather, you hav
en't looked into the most obvious places."
The most obvious places? The words entered my mind. But, where?
"Mikan, here's the Self-Study Robot you wanted me to make you," a blase but fami
liar voice called out from behind.
I turned back and saw ebony hair, lavender eyes, and frail body ? the qualities
that make up into the most famous teenage inventor-slash-blackmailer of the cent

ury, Hotaru Imai. She walked towards us, holding a robot in her hands. However,
that was not all. I gasped in surprise as my eyes lingered into the now inanimat
e object in her hand. It looked like a rabbit. Not just any ordinary-looking rab
bit. It looked like my pet, Usagi.
"I-Imai," I struggled through my words, finding a greeting appropriate for her.
I saw her jerk a little and brought her eyes towards me. However, as I was expec
ting her to look uninterested in me or any same expression, she looked the oppos
ite. When her eyes laid upon me, she turned her head away from my sight and hid
her face under her bangs. She held the rabbit robot more tightly in her arms. I
was curious and somewhat confused of how she was acting. Was it because we spent
almost the whole night together? Then, what? As if it could bother her... Or di
d it?
-0She flipped another page of her notebook after she finished copying the writings
on the blackboard. Putting her pen on top of her desk, she glued her eyes on ou
r geometry teacher as he taught us about things totally incomprehensible to us.
She kept nodding her head as the old man in front of us recited litanies of post
ulates and theorems. I caught myself smiling as I saw her writing on her noteboo
k again. She's really into her studies, isn't she? I thought to myself.
"Nogi-kun, will you do the pleasure of answering the given equation on the black
board," a deep, hoarse voice suddenly pierced my ears as I heard my name being c
alled. I felt myself almost jump in surprise.
"M-me?" I stood up, thinking that I asked such an idiotic question. Of course, h
e called for me. I was the only one with the family name Nogi here, right? Sighi
ng, I moved away from my seat and dragged myself towards the blackboard.
I took the chalk with the thumb and forefinger of my right hand. Trembling a lit
tle, I looked at the complicated-looking shapes, letters, operation signs, and n
umbers on the blackboard. There was no way I will be able to solve such a diffic
ult problem. If only I listened to the teacher's lesson instead of looking at Im
ai the whole time. Why the heck am I looking at her in the first place? I ground
my teeth in frustration as the symbols on the blackboard became into a language
of an alien land to me. I felt myself sweat a lot, panicking over this situatio
n I was in.
An object then sort of dropped on my head. Feeling the unknown thing among the s
trands of my hair, I realized that it was a crumpled piece of paper. I looked be
hind me and saw Imai talking to our teacher. Then, she brought her lavender eyes
at me and tried to send me a message. It seemed to be, Look into that piece of
paper, you idiot. The answer is there. I opened the paper and indeed saw the ans
wer to the equation on the blackboard. Secretly, I copied the symbols written on
the paper.
"Very good, Nogi-kun," my teacher said as he placed a large check on my work. "I
t is amazing that you were listening to me even though you have been looking at
Imai the whole time."
At that very instant, I felt that my heart stopped. Damn that, teacher! Why did
he need to announce that to everyone? My mind suddenly went blank after thinking
those words. Then, everyone's eyes diverted towards me. The expressions on thei
r faces were totally readable: the girls looked at me with disbelief; the guys s
mirked slyly at me; Koko's face turned red controlling himself not to laugh; Nat
sume and Sakura both smiled at me; and last, but not the least, Imai was horribl
y startled.

After that, everything went black.
-0A bright light passed through my almost open eyelids and it almost blinded me. I
rubbed my eyes for a moment and tried to open them again. I then saw a pair of
familiar light violet-colored orbs looking at me. My mind ordered my eyes to tur
n away from the sight, but I was not able to do it. I just kept on looking at th
ose bored-looking eyes.
"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," a soft voice greeted me. "Finally, you woke up.
"
"I-Imai," with my vision still slightly distorted, I weakly said while adjusting
my sight. My eyes toured the almost unfamiliar environment I was in. I felt the
softness of the bed and the mild touch of the white linens cocooning my body. A
bove me was the fluorescent lamp stuck on the almost ancient-looking ceiling and
emitting bright rays of white light. I looked at my bedside and saw a table wit
h a glass of water, a thermometer, a sphygmomanometer, and pieces of colorful ca
psules and tablets. A few meters away from the foot of my bed was a Snellen's ch
art. I finally concluded that I was inside the high school department infirmary.
After my eyes roamed the whole room, I heard the sudden creak of the door which
made me, and Imai, jerk in surprise. From outside the large wooden door, a woman
who seemed to be in her mid-twenties, tall, and wearing a white overcoat and a
stethoscope hanging on her neck, entered the room. She took a seat on an empty c
hair beside Imai and showed a large grin at me, baring her perfectly formed teet
h. I smiled back, trying to be courteous. She then reached her hand onto my fore
head and kept her blue-green eyes into my blue ones.
"Hmm..." she said as she jotted a few notes on a page of the notebook she held.
She closed the notebook and directed her attention towards me. "It seems that yo
ur temperature has gone down, which is a good sign because you had one heck of a
fever when you came here an hour ago."
Surprised with what she had said, I immediately asked her, "I have a fever?"
"Well, you did," she answered. "After your classmates had brought you here, I im
mediately took your axillary temperature which soon read forty degrees Celsius.
It's a good thing that you were not able to experience convulsions after reachin
g that unbelievably high temperature."
"But, how did I get a fever? I was fine before I arrived here," I argued. It was
true that I didn't feel ill that time. How the heck was I able to acquire a fev
er?
"You did not only experience fever, Mr. Nogi," she added while scanning the note
s on her notebook. "The information I have obtained from your condition at exact
ly 10 o'clock in the morning, is that you not only had fever, you also had an ex
tremely high blood pressure: 160/90, and an increased pulse rate: 200 beats per
minute. Your respiration also increased drastically to 60 breaths per minute. Yo
ur extremities were very cold. And last, but not the least..." She closed her no
tebook and revealed a small, but somewhat terrifying smile which seemed that she
might reveal something unpleasant to me.
"Your face was totally red ? redder than any normal person," she said and stuck
a mirror in front of my face. I looked at the reflection revealed in the small p
ocket glass, and indeed, tints of red gathered on my cheeks and on the bridge of
my nose. I began to wonder why I was experiencing these things. How would I get

this tomato-red even if the climate is not that warm. Here in Japan, we are in
the verge of welcoming autumn in the country. Why the heck are these happening t
o me?
"I have diagnosed your condition as one not originating from a pathological caus
e, but more as a psychological cause," she wrote incomprehensible symbols on a p
iece of prescription paper. She then placed it my right hand, still feeling a li
ttle clammy. I looked unto the inked letters on the small piece of paper with th
e physician's information and order on it. Scratching my head, I disappointed my
self for not being able to decipher the notes which seemed from another planet.
"I have prescribed the cure for your condition. The cure's effect will somehow d
epend on how determined or religious you are to follow it. I have written there.
.." I sharpened my sense of hearing to further pay attention on the doctmr's ins
tructions. My heart then sterted to cru}ble agter listening to the kind of cure
I had to inges4"? op rcther, do.
"You've got to get a girlfrie?d," she said rather fl)rtatiously at ye. I couldn'
t believe my ears when I heard such wordq from a doct?r, a professional who .o2m
ally enjoys looking into other 0eople's insides rather then the inside, hf you k
now wjat I me`n. I didn't"know if I$was0going to laugh at what she saad or rdact
?violen?ly uron it. Sighing, I coveree myself in the sheets and lay on the bed h
oping to stay away from further nonsense.
"Seriously, Doctor," I said under the sheets. "I don't feel like taking jokes ri
ght now. As what you have said, I am not feeling well. So, please tell me what t
o do so I can get rid of this illness already." Now, I was truly feeling sick. M
aybe, because of anger or frustration.
"My, my," she laughed while removing the blanket over my head. "I never knew tha
t such a cute guy like you could speak so badly at me." She then started to laug
h for a moment then changed her expression suddenly.
"I never go wrong with my prescriptions," she said quite confidently. "I special
ize both in physiological and psychological aspects in illness, so you have no r
ight that to say that my cure for you is a joke. What I prescribed may seem comi
cal to you, but actually what I am saying is the truth. You better get a girlfri
end, kid... Or you'll die and be engulfed in the chasm of loneliness forever!" S
he said the last sentence more of a joke-like, dramatic way while twirling like
an idiot. I now thought of her as a fraud, which I think Imai also thinks the sa
me way for I saw her look at the crack-head physician with disgust.
"Oh, I almost forgot," she then went to get another prescription paper and scrib
bled more incomprehensible words on it. After she had finished writing, she plac
ed it into Imai's clasped hands and revealed that evil smile once again. Minute
by minute, I was beginning to think that the doctor may either by a sorceress or
a witch doctor.
"You also need a cure for your condition, Miss Imai," she said.
"But I don't feel any-" Imai was interrupted when the physician added:
"Even though you may seem fine and contented with what you are experiencing now,
you are still capable of lying to yourself." She then added, "Just be yourself
and don't hesitate to obtain something you want, or you'll lose it even before y
ou are able to get it."
Curious of what was written on Imai's prescription, I placed my vision upon the
symbols written on it and tried to decipher that alien-like penmanship. However,
as I was going to begin reading, she crumpled the paper in her hands and bowed

her head.
"It is easier said than done, Doctor," she said in an almost inaudible voice. Sh
e then brought her eyes, with a blank look on them, onto me. "I don't think I am
capable to do that. And what am I going to gain after doing what you wanted me
to do," she continued as she looked at me. Her lips then shaped into a straight
line and she turned her head away grom me.
tha doctor reveahe$ a softer smi?e now, and her chair sCreeched on the tiled??lo
or(as she moved to ctand up. Her heeled feet clacked as each advanced one after
tie odhar. Finally reaching the door, she faced us, but her eyds were fhxed"on I
mai.

"You wmn't(know(unless you try, richu?" She winked at`uw as she disappeaREd afte
r the door closed. Immediately, the rnom became so silent that it was alruady de
afenkng. However, the echoes of the doctor's steps?still rema)ned a}dible as it
grew softer and softer until those, too, were gone.
"Stop lying to myself, huh?" I heard Imai whisper to herself as she smiled sadly
. She then brought her lavender eyes towards me, and she seemed trembling. She t
ried to open her mouth wider, as if to say something, but was too nervous to get
words to resound out of her mouth. She took a big sigh and finally was determin
ed to talk to me.
"In the classroom, before you fainted..." Her voice cracked as she tried to spea
k louder and clearer. "Sensei told the whole class that you were looking at me."
Beginning to know where she was trying to go to, I turned my head away from her
, pretending that I was not listening to her.
"Nogi, listen to me," she said with an obvious seriousness in her voice. She cle
ared her throat for a few times and continued to speak. "Why were you looking at
me?"
"I was not looking at you. I was looking at the small white stain on the back of
your blazer." I know I lied. However, I had no choice but to do it. Even if I w
anted to tell her the truth, I still won't be able to answer her for I had no id
ea what to say to her.
"Even so, that small little stain is not that an attention-grabbing object that
would trigger you to look at me for a long time. What is it that you found in me
that you brought yourself to stare at me?"
Unable to take the tension anymore, I practically dragged myself off the bed and
got tangled among the bedsheets. I somehow crawled towards the door and tried t
o bring myself to stand. As I was about to reach the doorknob, a very strong imp
act hit my cranium and brought my back against the hard, cold floor. Dainty step
s resounded in the room and approached me. I looked at the being moving closer t
o me, and had her favorite ammunition in her hand. Feeling helpless and weak, I
remained lying on the floor, finding for a way to escape this scary situation I
am in.
Stopping a few steps before me, she looked at me with unusually piercing eyes an
d she sat down to at least provide a comfortable conversation flow for the both
of us. However, I had determination to not speak a single letter. Still having t
he strong look in her eyes, she continued to stare into my scared ones as if try
ing to hypnotize me. Opening her mouth once again, she said to me:
"All right, if you don't want to answer my question, I'll just ask you another o
ne then." I continued to keep silent, acting as if I was not interested.

"Am I a likeable person?" Gaping my mouth wide with surprise, I just stared at h
er with different thoughts circling my mind. Why the heck did she Ask that? I lo
oked?at her, examining her physisal features. Pretty face? Check. Ni?e body? Che
ck. P%rson!lity? Q$big zmro. I though| to mysdlf as ey eyes ran0up and$down!on h
er. GeTting tired of searching f r answers apprmpriate for her, I &ina|ly startgd
to tal{.
"For me, you are a?very attr?ctive girl," I told hep. I wanted to add the tiougH
ts that are tryifg t/ break awiy0from mx(mind, but I did not have the courage to
setrieve them.
?"Alf?" She asked me, with hints of nervousness and curiosity mixed altogether.
I gulped twice, hoping that some unidentified flying object would swoop me from
my location and bring me somewhere else in the world where I won't be bothered b
y irrational events. However, nothing disastrous came and I was being held priso
ner by Imai's question.
"In my point of view, I think that you can be liked with your looks, but..." I g
ulped once again and hoping that gulp will not be the last one. "You should real
ly change your personality because it totally ticks me off."
I wasn't able to control myself when I said the last sentence. It felt that my h
eart, after keeping such anger for a long time, exploded and reached into my mou
th to be spoken of. Waiting for the biggest BakaGun shot I will have in my entir
e life, I closed my eyes tightly and waited for my fate of death. However, as se
conds ticked, the shot I was expecting never came. I opened my eyes once again a
nd saw her once piercing lavender eyes being wrapped by tears. She hiccuped for
a few times and showed a somewhat respecting and appreciative smile to me.
She stood up, opened the door, and left me alone in the cold, cold room.
-0Saturday. All of the characters and extras of the most-awaited school festival p
roduction, "Romeo and Juliet", gathered inside the auditorium. In their hands, t
hey had their scripts and they practiced and exchanged lines with each other. I
smiled as I saw the enthusiasm spreading across the large hall. I then looked at
the stage where I will find myself, and Imai perform. Speaking of Imai, I was n
ot able to meet her yesterday after... that incident. I admit it. All this time
after I had said those words to Imai, You should really change your personality
because it totally ticks me off, and for being insensitive of her, I felt guilty
. My aquamarine eyes wandered across the auditorium hoping to see her. I was dis
appointed of not being able to see her. Did I really make her feel bad? I sighed
and proceeded to the stage where I was asked to stay.
"Ruka-kun, have you seen Hotaru-chan?" Naru, out of breath, asked me. His usuall
y bright features turned fearful and worried-looking. "I have been looking all o
ver for her, but she is nowhere to be found."
"Sorry, Naru. I was not able to see her either," I said, feeling pity and guilt
at the same time to the teacher Natsume and I despise the most.
"But, the rehearsal is going to start in two minutes," he said while his violet
eyes scanned the crowd inside the hall. "Well, if Hotaru-chan will not be coming
here today, I have no choice but to find an understudy for Juliet."
His eyes looked at each of the girls inside the large performance structure. He
kept whispering various adjectives which some I was not able to comprehend as he
described each of the girls. I saw his eyebrows create a furrow in between them
and continued to search for an appropriate understudy for Juliet. He began biti

ng his nails, which was a mannerism he did that I just learned about. I never kn
ew choosing the right actor for a role was this difficult a job. His expression
became more desperate as the number of girls he judged increased. Until, I saw h
im smile and the glitter of his eyes returned. He was looking at the far end of
the auditorium, near the entrance, where a girl, along with her boyfriend, maybe
was talking to each other. I was not able to distinguish the identities of the
couple since my eyesight isn't as good as it was before. I was amazed with Naru'
s eyes for he was able to identify the girl even at a far distance.
"Please lend me a microphone, Nonoko-chan," he said excitedly while shaking his
hand impatiently. When handed the microphone, he immediately brought it near his
mouth and started to speak in an extremely loud ? and feminine ? voice.
"Calling Mikan Sakura-chan. Mikan-chan?" The sound of her name pierced through m
y ears. I looked at the location where the girl who was supposed to be Sakura st
ood. Indeed, she looked at Naru after hearing her name. She waved her arms up an
d down, indicating that she was present. It's Sakura, all right. I felt Naru the
n turn towards me and reveal a smile. He faced once again at Sakura and brought
the microphone closer to his mouth.
"Mikan-chan, would you like to be the understudy of Juliet? Hotaru-chan is not h
ere yet, and we're running out of time. Is it okay for you to play her role in h
er absence?"
This can't be. A dream that I never thought would come true will finally happen
on this very day. My heart started to beat at an unimaginable speed and my body
started to feel hot again. I looked at her approaching the stage, and everything
went slow motion. The people around me turned into fumes of smoke and disappear
ed into the air... And all I saw was her. She came running with such a radiant s
mile on her face. Her eyes sparkled ever more brightly than before. Her presence
brought warmth in my sight. Her hair danced along with her motion as she ran. I
felt my eyes glue on her, and I was not able to take them off. Everything about
her was just wonderful that it made me gape my mouth in awe. With such a simple
pairing of plain shirts and jeans, she still is the most beautiful person I hav
e ever seen in my entire life.
Finally reaching the stage, she ascended the stairs and walked her way towards N
aru and me. She panted for a few moments and smiled after regaining her composur
e.
"So, what is your answer, Mikan-chan," Naru asked her.
"Of course, yes," she replied. "I will do anything for the sake of Hotaru. And R
uka-pyon, too."
A cold, yet refreshing feeling seemed to splash on my whole being. I felt as if
I was by baptized by the miracle I called Sakura. My heart started to beat slowe
r, and slower as she brought those big brown eyes towards my direction. I felt a
smile creep on my face and the whole world brightened as she replied with a mor
e wondrous smile. I unconsciously went near her and touched her hand. A slight t
int of pink painted her cheeks as the skins of our hands brushed with each other
.
"Please take care of me," I told her in my most gentle way possible.
"Me too," she replied with such enthusiasm in her voice. As I puzzled my fingers
into the spaces of her fingers, a certain image flashed before my eyes: tear-st
reaked lavender orbs looking at me, long black hair slightly covering the upper
half of her face, and that sad, sad smile that caught my heart pierced in guilt.
I remembered Imai's expression ? the expression that has brought me thinking ab

out her this whole time. Why the heck did she cry about what I said to her? I ne
ver thought that she would react that way.
"Ruka-pyon?" a high-pitched yet gentle voice called out to me. "Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah. Don't worry about me." I felt a drop of sweat roll down the side of my
face as I lied to Sakura. I forced a smile to assure her that there is nothing t
o worry about. I gripped my hold on her soft, small hand and pulled her towards
the middle of the stage. I had to concentrate on the play, right? There is no ne
ed for me to waste any more time. I'm going to talk to Imai about that matter...
If I do see her again.
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