Carpet Cleaning Articles
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Article1: Here we were, my family and I were all ready for our holiday. Greece, here we come! My daughter had been studying hard for her exams, my wife had been working overtime for months on end and I've been working as hard as always. If there was ever a deserved holiday, it was this one. We enthusiastically pack the car with our luggage while sharing some good bonding time. We've experienced our conflicts and hardships over the past few months, but I truly believe this holiday will bring us all together again. The last suitcase goes in the car, and away we go. Shortly after the departure, we approach the motorway. The traffic is dense and quick and the smile that was on my face begins to fade as I try to concentrate on my surroundings more. We merge into the traffic and find ourself tightly packed between two cars and travelling at a speed of roughly 70mph. Upon determining I was in a dangerous situation, I decided to change to the fast lane. I check my mirrors and proceed to make a quick shift in lanes. Everyone in the car is silent at this point. They know my total concentration is required. Not long after the change in lane, I witness a Porsche come up behind me signalling me to move. Being the nervous wreck I am, I follow his gestures and pull to the left and immediately my life flashed through my eyes. To my left was a carpet cleaning van. A fatal car crash was about to occur and I was certain I was going to die. I woke up ten days later in a hospital bed and was told my entire family died. Article2: I couldn't believe it. My brother spent years and years of studying to become a doctor, and he suddenly decides to start a carpet cleaning service half way through his studies instead. It's amazing how life can just change for some people. His studying was going fine and things were looking bright, but instead he decided to completely switch routes into a business venture of which he has no experience in. It's completely out of character for him. My father and mother have been having lengthy arguments with him but to no avail. Mother seems upset but has finally come around to supporting his decision; Father, however, is a different story. Father has been walking around with the most angry facial expression I've ever seen. Conversation with him is very limited at the moment. As for me, I have no real emotional attachment to my brother, I never have. We've always maintained our distance but I am curious as to what caused my brother to do this. He had been talking about being a doctor for as long as I can remember. What's even more surprising is the profession he chose. My brother has little to no experience in any sort of manual labour. In fact, if I recall correctly, he was always quite clumsy when it came to domestic tasks. I can't see much of a market for carpet cleaning in such a small city, either. I guess we can all agree from this that life is full of surprises. Article3: The morning began bright and early for me, and like every other morning, it starts with crossing off the day before on the calendar. I strike off the Friday and blissfully walk down the stairs to the kitchen cognisant of the fact that Saturday's consist of me sitting down in front of the TV and just relaxing after a hard week's work. My wife is kind enough to cook me breakfasts on Saturdays, or perhaps she doesn't want to put everyone's life in jeopardy by attempting to cook. Either way, I'm just glad to receive a nicely cooked breakfast. I can hear the sizzling in the kitchen and begin salivating at the thought of what's to come. Scrambled eggs, beans, sausages, French toast, bacon and black pudding. I can't wait at this point! I hear the cooking has ended and expect my morning meal to enter the room at any moment. “Don't forget the orange juice, babe!” I shouted. My wife then walks in with the meal and suddenly tripped over an aerosol can. Time had completely slowed down as I witnessed my meal go airborne. And there it lay, my delicious meal and the orange juice all over the carpet. I was distraught; it was obvious the remainder of my day would be abysmally bad. I called a carpet cleaning service and they were quick to undo the damage but nothing will make up for that ruined morning. Why does this have to happen on my weekend? Sometimes I think life is out to get me.
Article4: My husband and I haven't maintained much contact recently and decided that we should go on a dinner date. To my surprise I was actually quite excited. Naturally, we had to book a babysitter to look after our son. We had this babysitter personally recommended by a friend and she's shown herself to be excellent with our son. So anyway, we went on the date to a fancy restaurant downtown and the atmosphere was fantastic. It was dimly lit and had a very homely feel to it. For starters I had a prawn cocktail and my husband had a chicken salad. We were getting along well and I really felt that this was all worth it, despite my initial doubts. The night continued with me ordering a lobster and my husband ordering a stew. Both of us thoroughly enjoyed our meals and were very happy with our experience. We then started talking about our son and decided that it was about time we went home after this lovely night out and see how our son is faring. We arrived home and instantly had the babysitter approach us and deeply apologise for the apple juice that was spilt on the floor. I was initially annoyed but my husband told her not to worry and that's he'd call a carpet cleaning service to sort out the problem. Despite that, everything in the house had been maintained in good order. Tonight really did go quite well. It certainly made up for the previous months of mundane life. Article5: There's no point anymore. Life is dealing me more and more heavy blows. I wake up, I fall down the stairs. I go to get breakfast and spill the orange juice on the carpet. I go to call the carpet cleaning service and find I have no credit. I go to get more credit on my phone and find out my debit card doesn't work. I go to call the bank and remember I have no credit. I am quickly reminded of how stupid I am as a result and succumb to deep depression. I begin looking in the mirror and wonder where I went wrong then I notice a number of large flaws on my face. My nose is huge and crooked, my mouth is diagonal and I lack any bilateral symmetry. I have severe acne and realise why no girl would ever entertain the thought of going out with me. I decide my only hope of ever getting a female to touch me is by visiting a a working girl. I travel 50 miles to see a working girl and remember my card doesn't work. I start screaming at the high heavens and decide my only option now is to kill myself. I grab the towing rope out of the boot of my car and tie one end to a tree branch and the other to my neck. I wait atop the tree branch anticipating my death and make the leap. The rope snaps and I fall in the water. I hate my life, but I will keep living. Deep down I want to. Article6: I've had enough of life treating me unfairly. I've been beaten up 10 times in the past two months just for being ugly and short. I decided the best course of action from here onwards is to learn some selfdefense. I did some browsing on some forums and realise that karate is garbage. The Karate Kid is just mindless propaganda promoted by Mr Miyagi. After a lot of research I determine that either Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Muay Thai are the best for self-defense. I found out there is a Muay Thai gym near my house and decide to start training there. The moment I get there, there is a roar of laughter. “Hey look, it's a manlet!” I hear in the distance. I begin walking to the owner of the gym and go to shake his hand but he grabs my hand and performs a grappling attack on me and says he refuses to train someone as ugly as me, and that my looks should be enough of a deterrent for anyone to attack me. I tried begging and pleading with him telling him that my looks are why I'm getting beaten up and he spits in my face and says I should start a carpet cleaning business or something. I exit the gym with tears rolling down my eyes and decide to rob a bank. So off I go to rob a bank. I arrive at the bank and aim my pistol at the cashier and everyone in the building begins to laugh and the security officer slaps my back while laughing and knocks the pistol out of my hand. I hate this life. Article7: My patience is beginning to run out with this life. I decided that I was going to start going out by creating a carpet cleaning business, but I messed that up by turning to drugs. My life completely
messed up because of my ineptitude. My genetics are flawed and do not allow me to live a fulfilling life. Perhaps I should just go on benefits and live a completely indulgent existence. Life doesn't matter. We're just sentient beings on some rock floating in space. Self improvement is useless and serves no purpose. What will be the end result? Getting with women? Why does that matter? I'm tired of trying to find purpose in this purposeless universe. I need to reconcile myself to the fact that I am not genetically entitled to a good life. I need to pursue a completely hedonistic life. Eudaimonic life is a scam. It will make other people happier at the expense of my energy. It will just make a me feel worse that there are those out there doing nothing who are living an infinitely happier life than me. What should I do next? I think I'll go to the supermarket and buy a shopping trolley full of sweets, chocolate and ice-cream and then play video games. That's the only fulfilling life I'll live. Most people's suggestions have failed me. We all lie to ourselves so that we are not constantly confronted with the inherent injustices of life. We would all fall into a deep depression if we were actually acquainted with this grim reality. Article8: There goes another cat. Running over cats seems to be a common theme recently. I must have run over eight or so in the past year. I've run over two dogs. It's all incredibly funny. I especially love the bump sound it makes when you run them over. I feel a great sense of joy and a bit of an adrenaline rush knowing I've just ended the life of an animal. Perhaps I belong in a psychiatric ward, I don't know. Either way, all I know is that I want to destroy more cats and ruin some more families' lives. I get off on knowing that the family will be shedding tears over these stupid animals. On the bright side, they don't have to worry about hiring any more carpet cleaning services. The only cleaning measure needed now is a road-sweeper to remove the cat remnants on the road. This might seem awfully sadistic, but at least I value human life. Some people are quite happy to end the life of a human. I'd never go so far, I just hate cats. Is there really a problem with that. They're selfish and annoying. They pretend to be cute for attention when in reality they're horrible and narcissistic. I urge all my friends to run over cats wherever they seem them. Let us take out these menaces to society once and for all! No mercy, no survivors! These cats have been stealing leeching off human existence for too long and it's about time we ended it. Article9: No more deodorant. I'm so sick of deodorant and the mess it makes, the smell, the cost and the feel of it. For starters, when you spray it on your clothes it leaves a terrible white mark. I try to use some carpet cleaning agents to remove the stain but it remains on there until you put it in the washing machine. That gets incredibly annoying. The cost...the cost is far too much. I have to spend the good part of £5 for a half decent smelling deodorant that's supposed to last 24 hours (but never does). It surely doesn't need to cost that much. The smell is never that great either, especially after you've been perspiring for some time. It turns into some horrid hybrid smell of BO and the deodorant. It almost makes me feel sick. Female deodorants are far better in this case I have found, but then I'd get made fun of for that. There's no winning. Then we have the feel. There's always a strange feeling of matted armpit hair once you've applied deodorant and start sweating. Overall, deodorants are horrible. Why does sweat have to smell so bad? Why couldn't it just be water instead of some gross liquid that we secrete. Its only purpose is to cool us down anyway. I've had a fair degree of success with roll-on deodorants. I'd wholeheartedly recommend those over the spray-ons. The use of roll-on deodorants eliminates some of the aforementioned issues. No more deodorants! Screw spray-on deodorising agents! Article10: Why bother with wearing clothes, you fools? You fools don't get it, do you? What is inherently disgusting about our natural bodies? You've all been brainwashed like lemmings to believe that our bodies. Clothes need not be worn. It's all propaganda promoted by clothing companies. Screw the system! Stop wearing clothes! The 99% are sustaining the top 1% by wearing clothes. You are
slaves to the system! Clothe-wearing slaves thinking you have freedom! Think about it, what's wrong with seeing naked chicks walking about huh? Imagine naked chicks doing your carpet cleaning! The world would be so much better if nobody wore clothes. Sure, it may sound nuts to you now, but when you go to a naked beach you begin to understand how much more chilled the atmosphere is – how much more natural it is. You really are missing out if you've never been! In fact, right now, take off your clothes...wherever you are. Do it now! Let the world you no longer care and that you're no longer willing to be a slave to the system. Set your body free! If your body is ugly then maybe you should hide behind objects, but for us normal non-fat people, it's great. No more tan lines either! Life will be so much better and I think you all know it. Life will be fairer. No more guys at the top plundering us. No more corporate propaganda trying to force us into their clothe-wear. Enough is enough! Call an end to this now! Article11: War war war! We humans love war, don't we? There's nothing better than the sound of incoming artillery, the whistling of a bullet flying past your head, the shrieks of the exploding shrapnel, the roaring of the rockets, the thunderous explosions, the sound of overhead aircraft. It's a beautiful yet horrifying experience. It epitomises human nature. It beings out the best and the worst in humans. While the wives are at home doing the carpet cleaning, the child-raising, working in the munitions on the homefront, the men are working tirelessly to secure final victory. It's a beautiful configuration of society. Every knows their purpose and have something higher to aim for – victory! Victory at all costs. Victory no matter what it takes. Every ounce of labour means an ounce more towards victory. When final victory comes there is a euphoria on the homefront, but the men come back war-hardened and filled with misery. They wondered what they fought for. They wonder when the next war is and what purpose that will serve. They'll continue to contemplate until the age-old truth is recognised – that war is a game of politics. It's a battle of the men on top using the common people as a pawn in their game. Men, drop your arms; we are one and all. Are we not all brothers of this Earth? There are too many conflicts in this world and it's time we realised that it is all useless. We were given brains and it's about time we utilised them. Article12: Men need to become men again. Don't people understand that they guys on top are trying sissify men? They want us to become androgynous losers who will conform to each and every demand to the guys on top. Men need to start injecting testosterone and become men again. The average testosterone level has plummeted to 40% of what it was 100 years ago. Are you men going to just sit about and let this happen? Are you mad? Females are stepping over us while we're consuming feminising chemicals from plastic and tap water. This world is doing everything it can to turn us weaker, and us men need to fight against it! Notice in the movies how men are being told to dress like women and be ridiculed? Notice how fashion trends are becoming more and more feminine? It's a gigantic conspiracy aimed and removing manhood. Inject testosterone, change your behaviour, don't let yourself be walked on, dress like man, look like a man and act like a man! The world is changing against your favour. Don't just stand there and take it, fight back! We will no longer be held back. We are the entrepreneurs, we are the thinkers, we are the creators and the engineers. Enough of the status quo. What can the guys on top do if we fight back if we have numbers on their side? They have nothing but words. Throw up your fist and shout, 'no more! We will no longer let things continue as they are!' Article13: I keep getting the most brutal headaches. The pain is unbearable. I was hoping to do some carpet cleaning today but that's no longer possible with this banging dull pain that resonates through my cranium. I feel like dipping my head in a bowl full of ice. I decided to lie down to try and attenuate the pain, but this was to no avail. The throbbing pain persisted throughout the evening and I decided I would try to escape the discomfort by going to sleep. This, too, ultimately failed as I kept
receiving phone calls, emails and general requests. By this point I began raging and punching walls until I received a complaint from the neighbour. In a fit of pure rage I decided to punch my neighbour in the face. I did it with no remorse and without any thought. My neighbour fell to the ground and let out a scream of pain. I laughed at him when he was on the ground holding his bloody nose. There was no logical or rational thinking in my brain at this point. It was at this point I then decided to start kicking my neighbour while he was down. This was all incredibly amusing to me at the time and I felt like I could have caused serious, long-lasting damage to him without a care in the world. I just wanted to see him suffer. After all this, the world around me began to fade and suddenly I woke up. Yes, it was all a dream. Article 14: Where do all my socks go? Socks seem to manage to slowly disappear over time. Underwear is fine; it's just socks. They have a magical ability to go missing. There seems to be no solution to this either. I've tried over time in life to keep them from going missing, but gosh darn it, they always find a way. I recall once doing some carpet cleaning and finding a few pairs of socks underneath the bed. Lord only knows how they got there... I've decided now to buy a box with which to put the socks in. Unhygienic? Perhaps, but I won't have to buy new socks every couple of months now. It's a genius solution in my honest opinion. Why do we have to wear socks anyway? To not get blisters when we walk around in shoes? Why don't they start making shoes properly instead of making us buy socks as well as shoes. Perhaps it's a conspiracy. The guys on top want more money from us so they socially engineer wearing socks as the norm. I'm not going to fall for it. I'm going to create an anti-sock movement. No more socks! Go out in your bare feet and tell the world that you no longer care about societal norms! The guys on top are trying to squeeze every last penny out of you, and you lot are all just going to go ahead and let them do it? Say no to socks! Even sandals are a better alternative! Article15: Why are there two different kinds of lightbulbs that you can buy? Is this just another conspiracy from the guys on top? I believe it is. They want to confuse us and make us rely upon them. They want us to make the wrong decisions and spend more money. This whole revelation came to me after a long session of carpet cleaning. The idea came to me as if a lightbulb just flashed above my head. They want to confuse us and that's what this whole game is about. The men in charge will never take over my decision making abilities. I am my own man! I don't need anyone to tell me what to do, what do buy and how to check I am doing the right thing. I have therefore resolved to using candles. Yeah, that's right, candles. They may be primitive, but they damn well work. They also give off a nicer atmosphere and don't waste electricity. I'd wholeheartedly recommend this solution to everyone. Candles can be particularly good for if you want to create a romantic atmosphere too. Fight the system and don't let the current rulers dictate your life. They are forcing humans into a direction that we do not want to go in. Of course, only the most open-minded of us are aware of this. Everyone else are like sheep, following their shepherds. The overlords dictate their life and the sheep don't spare a thought as to why they are being forced to do what they do.
Article4: My husband and I haven't maintained much contact recently and decided that we should go on a dinner date. To my surprise I was actually quite excited. Naturally, we had to book a babysitter to look after our son. We had this babysitter personally recommended by a friend and she's shown herself to be excellent with our son. So anyway, we went on the date to a fancy restaurant downtown and the atmosphere was fantastic. It was dimly lit and had a very homely feel to it. For starters I had a prawn cocktail and my husband had a chicken salad. We were getting along well and I really felt that this was all worth it, despite my initial doubts. The night continued with me ordering a lobster and my husband ordering a stew. Both of us thoroughly enjoyed our meals and were very happy with our experience. We then started talking about our son and decided that it was about time we went home after this lovely night out and see how our son is faring. We arrived home and instantly had the babysitter approach us and deeply apologise for the apple juice that was spilt on the floor. I was initially annoyed but my husband told her not to worry and that's he'd call a carpet cleaning service to sort out the problem. Despite that, everything in the house had been maintained in good order. Tonight really did go quite well. It certainly made up for the previous months of mundane life. Article5: There's no point anymore. Life is dealing me more and more heavy blows. I wake up, I fall down the stairs. I go to get breakfast and spill the orange juice on the carpet. I go to call the carpet cleaning service and find I have no credit. I go to get more credit on my phone and find out my debit card doesn't work. I go to call the bank and remember I have no credit. I am quickly reminded of how stupid I am as a result and succumb to deep depression. I begin looking in the mirror and wonder where I went wrong then I notice a number of large flaws on my face. My nose is huge and crooked, my mouth is diagonal and I lack any bilateral symmetry. I have severe acne and realise why no girl would ever entertain the thought of going out with me. I decide my only hope of ever getting a female to touch me is by visiting a a working girl. I travel 50 miles to see a working girl and remember my card doesn't work. I start screaming at the high heavens and decide my only option now is to kill myself. I grab the towing rope out of the boot of my car and tie one end to a tree branch and the other to my neck. I wait atop the tree branch anticipating my death and make the leap. The rope snaps and I fall in the water. I hate my life, but I will keep living. Deep down I want to. Article6: I've had enough of life treating me unfairly. I've been beaten up 10 times in the past two months just for being ugly and short. I decided the best course of action from here onwards is to learn some selfdefense. I did some browsing on some forums and realise that karate is garbage. The Karate Kid is just mindless propaganda promoted by Mr Miyagi. After a lot of research I determine that either Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Muay Thai are the best for self-defense. I found out there is a Muay Thai gym near my house and decide to start training there. The moment I get there, there is a roar of laughter. “Hey look, it's a manlet!” I hear in the distance. I begin walking to the owner of the gym and go to shake his hand but he grabs my hand and performs a grappling attack on me and says he refuses to train someone as ugly as me, and that my looks should be enough of a deterrent for anyone to attack me. I tried begging and pleading with him telling him that my looks are why I'm getting beaten up and he spits in my face and says I should start a carpet cleaning business or something. I exit the gym with tears rolling down my eyes and decide to rob a bank. So off I go to rob a bank. I arrive at the bank and aim my pistol at the cashier and everyone in the building begins to laugh and the security officer slaps my back while laughing and knocks the pistol out of my hand. I hate this life. Article7: My patience is beginning to run out with this life. I decided that I was going to start going out by creating a carpet cleaning business, but I messed that up by turning to drugs. My life completely
messed up because of my ineptitude. My genetics are flawed and do not allow me to live a fulfilling life. Perhaps I should just go on benefits and live a completely indulgent existence. Life doesn't matter. We're just sentient beings on some rock floating in space. Self improvement is useless and serves no purpose. What will be the end result? Getting with women? Why does that matter? I'm tired of trying to find purpose in this purposeless universe. I need to reconcile myself to the fact that I am not genetically entitled to a good life. I need to pursue a completely hedonistic life. Eudaimonic life is a scam. It will make other people happier at the expense of my energy. It will just make a me feel worse that there are those out there doing nothing who are living an infinitely happier life than me. What should I do next? I think I'll go to the supermarket and buy a shopping trolley full of sweets, chocolate and ice-cream and then play video games. That's the only fulfilling life I'll live. Most people's suggestions have failed me. We all lie to ourselves so that we are not constantly confronted with the inherent injustices of life. We would all fall into a deep depression if we were actually acquainted with this grim reality. Article8: There goes another cat. Running over cats seems to be a common theme recently. I must have run over eight or so in the past year. I've run over two dogs. It's all incredibly funny. I especially love the bump sound it makes when you run them over. I feel a great sense of joy and a bit of an adrenaline rush knowing I've just ended the life of an animal. Perhaps I belong in a psychiatric ward, I don't know. Either way, all I know is that I want to destroy more cats and ruin some more families' lives. I get off on knowing that the family will be shedding tears over these stupid animals. On the bright side, they don't have to worry about hiring any more carpet cleaning services. The only cleaning measure needed now is a road-sweeper to remove the cat remnants on the road. This might seem awfully sadistic, but at least I value human life. Some people are quite happy to end the life of a human. I'd never go so far, I just hate cats. Is there really a problem with that. They're selfish and annoying. They pretend to be cute for attention when in reality they're horrible and narcissistic. I urge all my friends to run over cats wherever they seem them. Let us take out these menaces to society once and for all! No mercy, no survivors! These cats have been stealing leeching off human existence for too long and it's about time we ended it. Article9: No more deodorant. I'm so sick of deodorant and the mess it makes, the smell, the cost and the feel of it. For starters, when you spray it on your clothes it leaves a terrible white mark. I try to use some carpet cleaning agents to remove the stain but it remains on there until you put it in the washing machine. That gets incredibly annoying. The cost...the cost is far too much. I have to spend the good part of £5 for a half decent smelling deodorant that's supposed to last 24 hours (but never does). It surely doesn't need to cost that much. The smell is never that great either, especially after you've been perspiring for some time. It turns into some horrid hybrid smell of BO and the deodorant. It almost makes me feel sick. Female deodorants are far better in this case I have found, but then I'd get made fun of for that. There's no winning. Then we have the feel. There's always a strange feeling of matted armpit hair once you've applied deodorant and start sweating. Overall, deodorants are horrible. Why does sweat have to smell so bad? Why couldn't it just be water instead of some gross liquid that we secrete. Its only purpose is to cool us down anyway. I've had a fair degree of success with roll-on deodorants. I'd wholeheartedly recommend those over the spray-ons. The use of roll-on deodorants eliminates some of the aforementioned issues. No more deodorants! Screw spray-on deodorising agents! Article10: Why bother with wearing clothes, you fools? You fools don't get it, do you? What is inherently disgusting about our natural bodies? You've all been brainwashed like lemmings to believe that our bodies. Clothes need not be worn. It's all propaganda promoted by clothing companies. Screw the system! Stop wearing clothes! The 99% are sustaining the top 1% by wearing clothes. You are
slaves to the system! Clothe-wearing slaves thinking you have freedom! Think about it, what's wrong with seeing naked chicks walking about huh? Imagine naked chicks doing your carpet cleaning! The world would be so much better if nobody wore clothes. Sure, it may sound nuts to you now, but when you go to a naked beach you begin to understand how much more chilled the atmosphere is – how much more natural it is. You really are missing out if you've never been! In fact, right now, take off your clothes...wherever you are. Do it now! Let the world you no longer care and that you're no longer willing to be a slave to the system. Set your body free! If your body is ugly then maybe you should hide behind objects, but for us normal non-fat people, it's great. No more tan lines either! Life will be so much better and I think you all know it. Life will be fairer. No more guys at the top plundering us. No more corporate propaganda trying to force us into their clothe-wear. Enough is enough! Call an end to this now! Article11: War war war! We humans love war, don't we? There's nothing better than the sound of incoming artillery, the whistling of a bullet flying past your head, the shrieks of the exploding shrapnel, the roaring of the rockets, the thunderous explosions, the sound of overhead aircraft. It's a beautiful yet horrifying experience. It epitomises human nature. It beings out the best and the worst in humans. While the wives are at home doing the carpet cleaning, the child-raising, working in the munitions on the homefront, the men are working tirelessly to secure final victory. It's a beautiful configuration of society. Every knows their purpose and have something higher to aim for – victory! Victory at all costs. Victory no matter what it takes. Every ounce of labour means an ounce more towards victory. When final victory comes there is a euphoria on the homefront, but the men come back war-hardened and filled with misery. They wondered what they fought for. They wonder when the next war is and what purpose that will serve. They'll continue to contemplate until the age-old truth is recognised – that war is a game of politics. It's a battle of the men on top using the common people as a pawn in their game. Men, drop your arms; we are one and all. Are we not all brothers of this Earth? There are too many conflicts in this world and it's time we realised that it is all useless. We were given brains and it's about time we utilised them. Article12: Men need to become men again. Don't people understand that they guys on top are trying sissify men? They want us to become androgynous losers who will conform to each and every demand to the guys on top. Men need to start injecting testosterone and become men again. The average testosterone level has plummeted to 40% of what it was 100 years ago. Are you men going to just sit about and let this happen? Are you mad? Females are stepping over us while we're consuming feminising chemicals from plastic and tap water. This world is doing everything it can to turn us weaker, and us men need to fight against it! Notice in the movies how men are being told to dress like women and be ridiculed? Notice how fashion trends are becoming more and more feminine? It's a gigantic conspiracy aimed and removing manhood. Inject testosterone, change your behaviour, don't let yourself be walked on, dress like man, look like a man and act like a man! The world is changing against your favour. Don't just stand there and take it, fight back! We will no longer be held back. We are the entrepreneurs, we are the thinkers, we are the creators and the engineers. Enough of the status quo. What can the guys on top do if we fight back if we have numbers on their side? They have nothing but words. Throw up your fist and shout, 'no more! We will no longer let things continue as they are!' Article13: I keep getting the most brutal headaches. The pain is unbearable. I was hoping to do some carpet cleaning today but that's no longer possible with this banging dull pain that resonates through my cranium. I feel like dipping my head in a bowl full of ice. I decided to lie down to try and attenuate the pain, but this was to no avail. The throbbing pain persisted throughout the evening and I decided I would try to escape the discomfort by going to sleep. This, too, ultimately failed as I kept
receiving phone calls, emails and general requests. By this point I began raging and punching walls until I received a complaint from the neighbour. In a fit of pure rage I decided to punch my neighbour in the face. I did it with no remorse and without any thought. My neighbour fell to the ground and let out a scream of pain. I laughed at him when he was on the ground holding his bloody nose. There was no logical or rational thinking in my brain at this point. It was at this point I then decided to start kicking my neighbour while he was down. This was all incredibly amusing to me at the time and I felt like I could have caused serious, long-lasting damage to him without a care in the world. I just wanted to see him suffer. After all this, the world around me began to fade and suddenly I woke up. Yes, it was all a dream. Article 14: Where do all my socks go? Socks seem to manage to slowly disappear over time. Underwear is fine; it's just socks. They have a magical ability to go missing. There seems to be no solution to this either. I've tried over time in life to keep them from going missing, but gosh darn it, they always find a way. I recall once doing some carpet cleaning and finding a few pairs of socks underneath the bed. Lord only knows how they got there... I've decided now to buy a box with which to put the socks in. Unhygienic? Perhaps, but I won't have to buy new socks every couple of months now. It's a genius solution in my honest opinion. Why do we have to wear socks anyway? To not get blisters when we walk around in shoes? Why don't they start making shoes properly instead of making us buy socks as well as shoes. Perhaps it's a conspiracy. The guys on top want more money from us so they socially engineer wearing socks as the norm. I'm not going to fall for it. I'm going to create an anti-sock movement. No more socks! Go out in your bare feet and tell the world that you no longer care about societal norms! The guys on top are trying to squeeze every last penny out of you, and you lot are all just going to go ahead and let them do it? Say no to socks! Even sandals are a better alternative! Article15: Why are there two different kinds of lightbulbs that you can buy? Is this just another conspiracy from the guys on top? I believe it is. They want to confuse us and make us rely upon them. They want us to make the wrong decisions and spend more money. This whole revelation came to me after a long session of carpet cleaning. The idea came to me as if a lightbulb just flashed above my head. They want to confuse us and that's what this whole game is about. The men in charge will never take over my decision making abilities. I am my own man! I don't need anyone to tell me what to do, what do buy and how to check I am doing the right thing. I have therefore resolved to using candles. Yeah, that's right, candles. They may be primitive, but they damn well work. They also give off a nicer atmosphere and don't waste electricity. I'd wholeheartedly recommend this solution to everyone. Candles can be particularly good for if you want to create a romantic atmosphere too. Fight the system and don't let the current rulers dictate your life. They are forcing humans into a direction that we do not want to go in. Of course, only the most open-minded of us are aware of this. Everyone else are like sheep, following their shepherds. The overlords dictate their life and the sheep don't spare a thought as to why they are being forced to do what they do.
