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Cihan Fanon Barnett
02/06/2015
244-245 Excercise 3.
3A Original I need a figure on the surrender value of a policy. The number of the policy is
A4399827. Can you get me this figure by tomorrow?

Revised A: I need a figure on the surrender value of policy number A4399827 by tomorrow.

3B Original The program obviously contains an error. We didn’t get the results we anticipated.
Please ask Paul Davis to test the program.

Revised B: Please ask Paul Davis to test the program because we discovered an unexpected
error.

3C Original The supervisor is responsible for processing the outgoing mail. He is also
responsible for maintaining and operating the equipment.

Revised C: The supervisor is responsible for processing outgoing mail, maintenance of
equipment, and handling of equipment.

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