Divorce & Remarriage

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DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE
The issue of divorce and remarriage is probably the most controversial issue in the church today. Many people do not have a clear understanding on what the Bible says regarding this issue. The devil takes advantage of people’s ignorance of the Scriptures and creates havoc in the marriages and lives of people as a result. As in Jesus’ day, there are mainly 2 camps on this issue. One camp says that people can divorce and remarry while the other camp says that people can not divorce and remarry. Both views have serious implications. If you may divorce and remarry and you believe otherwise, then you are creating chaos in the marriages of people in telling them to separate when they might have lived happily ever after. On the other hand, if you can NOT divorce and remarry and you believe otherwise, then you are actually sanctioning divorced and remarried people to go to hell in blessing and approving of their “marriages”. This is how serious it is. In order to be able to counsel others on this issue we need to be firmly established in the Word of God ourselves before we can help others to be firmly established in the Word. We cannot give away to others what we do not have ourselves. It is therefore of the utmost importance that we consult the full counsel of God (Acts 20:27) when we study this subject. And so this is my desire to go with you through all the Scriptures about divorce and remarriage … from Genesis to Revelation … and to find out what the mind of God is relating to this subject so that we might be able to rightly divide the Word of Truth (2 Timothy 2:15). Let us turn our attention now to Genesis 1:27-28 where man was created by God: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” God created man as male and female. This is proof that God does NOT approve of same-sex marriages since God created a male and a female … Adam and Eve and NOT Adam and Steve. So the only marriage that God approves of is that between a man and a woman. In Genesis 2 starting from verse 18 you can read how and why the woman was created for man. Genesis 2:24 says something very interesting: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” In marriage, a man and a woman becomes one flesh. Even though there are still two personalities, two spirits, two souls, two individual relationships with the Lord Jesus Christ and two separate judgments at the Judgment Seat of Christ, they are ONE flesh. Just like in the Godhead where we have the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit as 3 separate Persons, yet They form the Trinity, one God and one Lord (Deuteronomy 6:4). Jesus Christ also prayed that we as believers should be ONE

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(John 17:21) and yet, we as Christians are obviously more than one person. In the same way when a man and a woman marry, they become one flesh and one in heart and one in soul (Acts 4:32). To violate this one-flesh, one-heart and one-soul relationship by having intercourse with someone other than your spouse is to commit the sin of adultery. It is a sin that is forbidden in the moral law of God. The moral law as contained in the Ten Commandments is applicable to all men, both believers and unbelievers alike. You see, God’s law of gravity applies to everyone regardless of whether they know of it or accept it. Drop an atheist and a Christian from the top of a cliff simultaneously and they will both hit the ground at the same time. With this in mind, let us read what the moral law of God has to say regarding adultery. Exodus 20:14-17 “Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.” The sin of adultery begins in the heart, when you covet or desire your neighbor’s wife. That’s where the sin begins. It is no wonder then that King Solomon wrote the following words in Proverbs 4:23 “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” We should make a covenant with our eyes, like Job did, and not lust after others with our eyes. This will prevent many a sin. Job 31:1 “I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?” The sin of adultery is so serious in the eyes of God that it carried the death penalty under the Old Covenant: Leviticus 20:10 “And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” The sin of adultery is so evil that it is called an abomination in the sight of God! Consider the following Scripture: Jeremiah 7:9-10 “Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not; And come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered to do all these abominations?” Cross-reference this with Revelation 21:8 and you will see where all adulterers will end up!

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The Lord Jesus Christ is a witness to the covenant between a man and a wife and that is why He deals so severely with adulterers. The Lord hates it when any of the two parties breaks it. Malachi 2:14-16 confirms this: “The LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.” Many people today think that a marriage is like a contract that can be broken at will. Please keep in mind that there is a difference between a contract and a covenant. It is not the same. A covenant is binding as long as one party keeps the covenant. A contract dissolves when one party breaks it. Not so with a covenant. A marriage is not a contract, but a covenant. Remember Malachi 2:14: “wife of thy covenant”… There are 3 parties in a marriage-covenant. The man, the wife and God. When a spouse divorce, God is still party to that covenant and He still keeps it! So the marriage-covenant is still in place in God’s eyes and the innocent party is NOT free to remarry. Listen to what the apostle Paul said about man-made covenants: Galatians 3:15 “Brethren, I speak after the manner of men; Though it be but a man's covenant, yet if it be confirmed, no man disannulleth, or addeth thereto.” This irrevocable agreement is binding even with a man-made covenant. Marriage is a covenant with God, which makes it even more cemented and fixed. Also in verse 16 of Malachi 2 it is stated that God hates divorce, the breaking faith with the wife of one’s youth. Can He accept in our time that which He once hated? Malachi 3:5-6 gives us the answer: “And I will come near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow, and the fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from his right, and fear not me, saith the LORD of hosts. For I am the LORD, I change not.” Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.” The Scriptures are clear. God still hates divorce and remarriage and in the Day of Judgment He will be a swift witness against all adulterers who refused to repent of their ongoing state of sin.

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The breaking of the marriage-covenant is a sin that is worthy of death … and that even in the New Testament! Romans 1:31-32 “Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.” Those vows made to God at the marriage ceremony were “till death do us part” and so the breaking of those vows are serious sins! Let us turn now to the New Testament starting with the Gospel of Matthew and see what it has to say regarding the subject of divorce and remarriage. The Gospel of Matthew was originally written to a Jewish audience. The genealogy in the beginning of the book and the frequent references to the fulfillment of Old Testament prophecies throughout the book are proofs of this. The key to understand the “Divorce & Remarriage”-passages in the book is to understand Matthew 1:18-20. The text reads: “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife; for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.” Now this is very interesting! Mary was considered by the angel of God as the wife of Joseph even during their betrothal already! It is key to know this in order to understand the exception-clause in Matthew 5:27-32. For “divorced and remarried”-people the exception-clause is a big issue so let’s have a look at it: “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: BUT I SAY UNTO YOU, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” Now, first of all, we need to understand that there is a difference between fornication and adultery. These two terms are NOT the same. “Fornication” is unlawful sex before marriage and “adultery” is unlawful sex after marriage. You

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might ask me the question: “Where do you get that?”. Well, one thing is for sure, they are NOT the same since two complete different Greek words are used for both. Fornication is “porneia” in the Greek and adultery is “moichao” in the Greek. Again, Jesus mentioned them seperately in a list of sins in Mark 7:21 … “adulteries, fornications”, etc. Why did Jesus mentioned fornication and adultery seperately? Why would Jesus make this distinction if the two words meant the same thing? The apostle Paul also mentioned them separately in another list of sins and sinners in Galatians 5:19-21 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. Why would Jesus and Paul mention them seperately if they were the same??? When the Spirit of God makes a distinction in scripture it is not for man to second guess what He really meant. Clearly, they are two different terms with two different meanings. With this in mind, we see that the exception-clause is only applicable in the case of fornication (before the consummation of marriage). After marriage, fornication is no longer possible, but only adultery. So the exception-clause is no longer applicable after the consummation of marriage and therefore a person is not to divorce his/her spouse even for the sake of marital unfaithfulness. You might well ask the question: “So when does the exception-clause apply then?” The “cause of fornication” that Jesus mentioned in Matthew 5:32 refers specifically to sexual unfaithfulness during the time of betrothal. If just after the wedding it was discovered that there were no “tokens of virginity”, then, in that case, a young man could legally put away that wife. The parents would willingly write up a divorcement and the young man was free to go and marry again with nothing behind him. He had twenty-four hours to decide. That was the only “escape clause” that Jesus pointed out. He was not talking about those who had been married for 10-15 years, had children, then one of the spouses had an affair, and it became a loop-hole for the other person to leave. No, this is not referring to that–not in the context of understanding a Jewish view of marriage, the setting in which Jesus was speaking, and that which still prevails in the orthodox Jewish communities of today, along with the Arabian people and other Semitic cultures. This exception clause that we read of in Matthew 5:32 was most important to the Jews who regarded betrothal vows to be as binding as we regard the marriage ceremony vows today (remember Joseph and Mary?). It is very interesting to note that John the Baptist lost his head (literally) for rebuking a “divorced and remarried”-couple. Here’s the story: Matthew 14:1-12 “At that time Herod the tetrarch heard of the fame of Jesus, And said unto his servants, This is John the Baptist; he is risen from the dead; and therefore mighty works do show forth themselves in him. For Herod had laid hold on John, and bound him, and put him in prison for Herodias' sake, his brother Philip's wife. For John said unto him, It is not lawful for thee to have her. And when he would have put him to death, he feared the multitude, because they counted him as a prophet. But when Herod's birthday was kept, the daughter of Herodias danced before them, and pleased Herod. Whereupon he promised with an oath to give her whatsoever she would ask. And she, being before instructed of her mother, said, Give me here John Baptist's head in a charger. And the king was sorry: nevertheless for the oath's sake, and them which sat with him at meat, he commanded it to be given her. And he sent, and beheaded John in the prison. And his head was brought in a charger, and given to the damsel: and she brought it to

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her mother. And his disciples came, and took up the body, and buried it, and went and told Jesus.” Notice that John the Baptist rebuked Herod for taking his brother Philip's wife. He did not say: "It is not lawful for you to have taken her" but rather "It is not lawful for you to have her". Some say the sin was that of incest. Actually, Herod had committed two sins: adultery and incest. The only way to repent of both was to release the woman. John was rebuking a sinner, which shows that immorality is sin, not only for the saint, but also for the sinner. There are those who try to escape the obvious conclusion that unbelievers can also commit adultery by reasoning that Herod cannot be regarded as an unbeliever as he was part of the Jewish Nation, the people of God. If this is the case, then the Pharisees and the Sadducees should be considered as believers as well as they were also part of the Jewish Nation! Yet, Jesus referred to them as “children of Hell” (Matthew 23:15) who will not enter Heaven (verse 13) and who will receive a great damnation (verse 14). These things CANNOT be said of believers!!! Jesus also referred to Herod as a fox (Luke 13:32 compare with Acts 23:5). So Herod cannot be regarded as a believer and therefore Matthew 14 can be used lawfully to prove that marriages between unbelievers are recognized by God. It should be noted that just because God recognizes their marriages does NOT mean that He approves of them. If you counsel divorced or remarried persons, you will certainly be asked the following questions: “ What if I divorced my spouse before I was a (committed) believer in Christ? Doesn't that allow me to remarry (or to stay with my present spouse)?” We need to remember that marriage was not first of all a Christian institution and it is therefore valid whether one marries as a Christian or not. Adultery is not a sin that only Christians can commit. If marriages were valid only for Christians, then we would have to tell all unbelievers that their marriages are worthless and that in God's sight they are not married. This approach would also conflict with the passages in Genesis 20 and here in Matthew 14 where Abimelech and Herod, as unbelievers, were clearly condemned by God in what they had done. Another thing that we can learn from this story is that adultery is an ongoing state of sin until the present partner is put away! John the Baptist told Herod: “It’s not lawful for you to HAVE her!” Why? Because it is an ongoing state of sin! If John the Baptist had said, "Just recognize you sinned, but stay with her and don't commit adultery again with another woman", Herodias wouldn't have had reason to be so upset with John. Despite the fact that she had repeatedly violated her marriage vow to Philip, her marriage to him had not been annulled. The fact of the matter is, complete repentance and full assurance of God's forgiveness do NOT exist until the adulterous union is discontinued. Those pastors and teachers who try to assure divorced & remarried persons of God’s forgiveness while they are still in that union are actually sanctioning their going to hell since no adulterer will inherit the Kingdom of God! (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). The view that one can divorce and remarry undermines the foundations of marriage and weakens the will to work through marriage difficulties. The foundations of marriage should be defended against heresies like this. Again, pagans can also commit adultery. Consider the following account in Genesis 20:2-3 of Abimelech, a pagan king:

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“And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She is my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah. But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she is a man's wife.” Notice with me, as long as Abimelech had another man’s wife under his roof, he was a “dead man” until he released her to go back to her rightful husband, even though he had not yet touched her. This was true for even a pagan king! God told Abimelech: “Now therefore restore the man his wife; for he is a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore her not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine.” Genesis 20:7 “Then Abimelech called Abraham, and said unto him, What hast thou done unto us? and what have I offended thee, that thou hast brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? thou hast done deeds unto me that ought not to be done.” Genesis 20:9. You see, marriage is NOT a Christian institution! It is for all men everywhere according to Hebrews 13:4! “Marriage is honorable in ALL, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Whether you are a believer or not, it is the same life and death covenant no matter what you believe: "Til death do us part!" That will never change. Marriage was a creation of God for mankind not just Jews or Christians! Otherwise Abraham’s marriage was as pagan as Ur’s! Jacob’s (Israel's) 2 wives were both Syrian! Yet the Lord God calls Himself, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob! Surely, God was NOT wrong to rebuke Abimelech (an unbeliever) in Genesis 20 for taking Abraham’s wife! It should be noted that just because the Lord recognizes all marriages does NOT mean He approves of all marriages. If a person says that only marriages of Christians are recognized before God, then they are actually saying that no marriage prior to Jesus Christ has any relevance! That's a problem if people say things like that. Does this mean the couple has to redo their vows after they become Christians so they won’t commit the sin of adultery? Does this mean that God didn’t create the universal law of marriage? Does this mean that God doesn’t recognize all the sins we commit and sinful life situations before we accept Him as Lord and Savior? Why is it called sin? Because we have been disobedient to His word we are all accountable to God’s word. If God only recognizes believer’s marriages, do only believers commit adultery? Do all of their friends and children recognize their marriage, but not God? Why do we send missionaries out into the field, if God doesn’t recognize the sin of unbelievers? God does indeed recognize marriages of unbelievers. Here are some examples taken from the Word of God: Genesis 4:1617; Genesis 20:1-18; Genesis 39:7-19; 1 Kings 16:31; Daniel 6:24; Matthew 14:1-4; Matthew 24:36-38; Matthew 27:19 & Luke 17:26-27.

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Some people object when you say that God recognizes the marriages of unbelievers by quoting 1 Corinthians 7:14… “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.” Some ask the question: “How can the unbelieving husband be sanctified by the believing wife if the marriage was sanctified already and recognized by God?” What is said here, is that the man receives a spiritual influence holding the possibility of actual conversion because of the daily, godly influence of a praying, devoted, chaste wife ... and her children have the same privilege. Sanctification here means to set apart! It has nothing to do with making the marriage holy, or the spouse holy, or the children holy. The unbelieving one will be getting a picture of what a true Christian is as the believing spouse demonstrates true covenantkeeping. That does not mean that the unbelieving spouse is saved. It means there is a visible consecration in his or her life that they can observe. Everyday, they have an illustration of covenant-keeping in the prayers, the courage, the joy, the submission, the yielding, and the waiting upon the Lord by the believing spouse. The scribes and Pharisees of Jesus’ time and those that have hardened hearts today will appeal to Deuternonomy 24:1-4 to justify divorce and remarriage, but let us turn to that passage and see what it really says: “When a man has taken a wife and married her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found a thing of uncleanness in her, and he writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house; and if she goes out from his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, and the latter husband hates her, and writes her a bill of divorce, and puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house or if the latter husband who took her to be his wife dies; her former husband who sent her away is not to take her again to be his wife, after she is defiled.” (LITV) According to the cultural understanding from Moses to Jesus, the bill of divorce was a legal document that made provision for the woman and her children, that the man would be held responsible for their welfare and financial needs so that they should not be a burden on society. The bill of divorce then was a form of protection for the one who was “put away” and it was an on-going responsibility for him that put her away, because he was to provide for those whom he had put out of his house. The man was the one who was responsible to provide things like food, shelter and clothing in the marriage and this is why only the man was allowed to put away his wife with a bill of divorce … and then again, only in the Old Testament. When a divorce occurred, the man was held responsible since he was the one who failed his bride in adequately fulfilling his duties as the head of the household. The woman was then allowed to be remarried to another man only when the man divorce her for having found any “uncleanness” in her. This “uncleanness” cannot refer to fornication or adultery since both were punishable by death (see Deuteronomy 22:20-22 & Leviticus 20:10). As soon as she is married to the second man, then the

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door of reconciliation becomes closed between her and her first husband and she was not allowed to go back to him. Yet, nowhere in this entire passage is it written that God approved of this practise. Nowhere. According to Jesus, Moses wrote this to the Israelites because of the hardness of their hearts. So those who appeal to this passage to justify divorce and remarriage only reveal the hardness of their hearts. In Jesus’ time there were people, just like today, who tried to find loopholes to get out of their marriages so that they can remarry another. The Pharisees came to Jesus regarding the “Divorce & Remarriage”-question looking for loopholes and here is the account of how Jesus handled them: Matthew 19:1-12 “And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judea beyond Jordan; And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there. The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.” When a man and a woman come together and consumate their marriage over an intercourse union between the two, they become one flesh (verse 5-6). One man and one woman become one flesh. Period. In every culture. This is a shadow of Christ and the Church! This pure and intimate covenantal union that exists between a husband and a wife is the same relationship that God has always intended for man and Himself! Some people twist verse 6 into saying that God does not join two unbelievers together, so therefore He does not acknowledge that marriage. Verse 6 actually means that man should not put asunder the “covenant of marriage” that God joined together. Where do I get that? Note very carefully that the Word of God says what He has joined, not to whom. God is not necessarily talking about people, but He has built marriages. The issue in God’s mind is don’t separate, don’t split up something God has put together. That word “separate” is a good word to follow through the Scripture. That’s the thing we are supposed to do with sin! Not each

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other! God’s Word is an absolute body of information. We are to be separate from sin, from the world, and be holy, as God is holy. This word “separation” is very big. But one thing that does not separate is godly relationships, even when we sin. In verse 8 Jesus said that God has never intended for husband and wife to divorce one another. Moses … because of the “hardness of their heart” allowed it! NOT God! Someone who divorce and remarry must acknowledge that he has a 'hard unforgiving heart!' If our hearts have been truly transformed by the Spirit of God, then hardness of heart is no longer an issue. The fact is, the only way that men can be divorced and remarried is by the modern-secular courts and laws of the pagan lands they live in. Although the courts of a nation may give a man or a woman a ‘legal’ divorce, the heavenly court above decrees ‘not so.’ God has never intended for husband and wife to divorce one another. The exception-clause appears again in verse 9 of this chapter of Matthew’s Gospel. Again, as in Matthew 5:32, the exception cannot refer to any ground that might arise AFTER God has bound the two into one. Since adultery is a sin which takes place AFTER God has joined a marriage, it cannot be included in the exception. As in Matthew 5:32, it refer to fornication which can only take place BEFORE a "marriage" is joined by God. If divorce stayed the same as Moses’ time and Jesus thought the marriage covenant ended at divorce why did the disciples say in verse 10, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry?” They were as surprised as people are today. The words of Jesus was much stricter than the views that people held on this issue at that time. A certain writer had the following to say concerning the views of the day: “There were two religious Jewish schools in those days that disagreed sharply over Deuteronomy 24:1-4. The school of Hillel was very liberal and said that the man could divorce the wife for any reason. The conservative school of Shammai said a man could divorce his wife for adultery or some type of sexual immorality. Jesus, as we all know, didn’t make too many friends with the Pharisees of the day. When they wanted to test Jesus, to trap Him about the divorce issue, Jesus did not agree with either of their positions and He took the permanence of marriage back to the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:24), where there were no courthouses, no paperwork, and where they were no longer two but one. This is why He called it adultery if the divorce, then the wedding of another person took place while the spouse was still living. If Jesus took the side of one of the schools, He would have become very fast friends with that school of thought. That did not happen and this is one of the reasons I’m sure they hated Jesus.” Mark records the same scene with the Pharisees in chapter 10 of his Gospel but Mark’s audience was Romans who did not practice a betrothal period, so it would be irrelevant to hear him say anything about the betrothal period to that audience of people. This was what he wrote:

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Mark 10:11-12 “And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.” This is also the first time Jesus ever addressed women divorcing because His audience was Romans where women were allowed to divorce. Again, Jesus clearly states that remarriage after being divorced is adultery. The clearest verse in all of Scripture regarding the ‘Divorce and Remarriage’-issue can be found in Luke 16:18: “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” If adultery and divorce effectively terminate the marriage relationship so that the divorcee may then be remarried, how could Jesus' words in this verse be true? Clearly then, to divorce your wife and marry another is to live in adultery! There are no exceptions here since Luke was writing his Gospel to a Greek-audience (Luke 1:1). Notice also that he says "whosever", not merely the Christian who does it. In the letters of apostle Paul, one of the clearest passages on the issue of divorce and remarriage can be found in Romans 7:1-3. Here is how it reads: “Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” When we say, "'Til death do us part" it is a life-long commitment. As long as there is life in that person, that covenant is living. Only death annuls the marriage covenant! Notice that the marriage-covenant is binding so long as he liveth, not so long as he is faithful! The marriage-covenant is annulled not if the husband commited adultery and she's innocent, not if the husband married another wife, but only when the husband be dead! NO EXCEPTIONS. The only real exceptionclause to remarriage after the consummation of a marriage is after a spouse has passed on, then and only then is the surviving individual free to remarry. That's it. Now there are those who will object to this interpretation of Romans 7 and they will usually say things like: “Yes but Romans 7 does not deal with divorce and remarriage as Paul uses this only as an example to illustrate our relationship with the Law!” Granted, it is an example. However, the teaching about our relationship with the Law can only be true if the example also is true. The apostle Paul wrote a similar thing in 1 Corinthians 7:39

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“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” Paul says that marriage is for life, not until divorce separates. It is so crystal clear that there is NO ROOM FOR REMARRIAGE while the spouse is alive. Period. If you are found in an adulterous relationship then the only way to repent of this sin of adultery is to discontinue the adulterous relationship … to stop living together as “husband and wife” and to give up the marriage bed. It is not enough just to merely say “I’m sorry”. If you want to be truly forgiven, you must confess AND forsake your sins as Proverbs 28:13 says: “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth AND forsaketh them shall have mercy.” This is it! This is how you can repent of this sin! Consistency calls for discontinuing the adulterous relationship. If two people live in fornication, in order for them to repent we tell them that they must stop living together as unmarried people. If a person lives in incest, we tell him to discontinue that relationship. If two persons of the same sex are married, they must get out of that union, whether or not the State says it is legal or not. With all other sins it is the same. Someone who has stolen goods must return them, not merely say he is sorry for having taken them. A person who has kidnapped someone must release the person before we would be sure he had truly repented. Why, then, would this not apply also to divorced and remarried persons living in adultery? Adultery is an ongoing state of sin that can only be truly forgiven when divorced and remarried persons separate. You might be asking: “Where’s the grace in all this? Where’s the mercy?”. God's mercy becomes ours only when we confess and forsake our sins. To do otherwise is to sin deliberately, and as long as one remains in that state there is no forgiveness (Hebrews 10:26-31). According to Titus 2:11-14 the grace of God teaches us to say "no" to ungodliness and worldly passions-not continue on in them. Here is another example that will help to cast light on the meaning of repentance: When I commit a crime against a friend and then go to that friend and ask his forgiveness I am doing two things. First, I am admitting that what I did was wrong and should not have been done. Secondly, I am asking that friend to forgive me and thereby restore our relationship as friends. If for example, I stole his shiny new sports car and later felt guilty about it, I would go to him and admit my wrong and beg his forgiveness. Because he is a generous man, he forgives me the wrong, for which I thank him profusely. We then shake hands, he invites me over for dinner next week, and I jump back in “his” shiny sports car and head home with a profound sense of relief. There is of course something very wrong with this picture. This is not the picture of true biblical repentance. I did in fact feel guilty over my theft and was truly sorry that it had happened, but what I did with those feelings cannot be called repentance. There was no restoration of the stolen goods and without restoration there can be no true repentance. Therefore, the state of being a thief remained in effect. I would like to emphasize here that if I return the stolen car to

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my friend I am not earning or meriting his forgiveness. He can choose to forgive me whether I return the car or not. Returning the car also does not free me from the penalty of car theft. I am a thief whether I return the car willingly or whether I am arrested and the authorities return the car. My friend, of course, could choose not to press charges. The point here is that my restoration of the stolen car is the “visible demonstration” and logical outflow of my repentance. Whether my friend forgives me or not is a separate matter. Restitution, or reconciliation is the fruit of true biblical repentance. The question may arise: “What should I do in case I am divorced? What are my options? What does the Lord want me to do?” Here is the answer: 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, OR be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” Here the Apostle Paul gives only 2 options for the innocent party. Stay single or be reconciled. If reconciliation is no longer possible, in the case of where the guilty party remarried, then the only other option available for the innocent party is to stay single, according to the Word of God. Those who to justify their divorce and remarriage will cry out and say: “Oh, but what if the person is innocent? Oh, but what if that person burns with passion? Surely you won’t expect that person to remain single for the rest of his life? What if it leads to fornication?” Well, if God says that we can do all things through Christ which strenghtens us, then surely we can obey His Word in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 too. This whole Divorce & Remarriageissue should be seen in the same way as we see our salvation. If you mess up BIG TIME, do you think God is going to send you away and close the door of reconciliation between yourself and Him? No! Never! In the same way, when your spouse messes up really badly (like sleeping with someone else), you should not send her away and remarry another, thereby closing the door of reconciliation! Instead, you should forgive her and if you are divorced, you should stay single or be reconciled to one another. If your husband is abusive and violent towards you, you can separate from him and pray for his repentance, but you should stay single and not remarry so that the door of reconciliation may remain open between you. That’s it! So the Lord’s command through Paul is: no divorce, no separation. But if separation does occur, then no remarriage. Either the individuals must remain unmarried or else be reconciled. If you do have to leave because it is impossible to bring peace into your house, then set up two different households. But do not get remarried. Stay unmarried. Leave the door to reconciliation open. If you must get divorced, stop there. A separated or divorced Christian should avoid any thought that would hinder the possibility of reconciliation or restoration. In particular, this means not dating or forming intimate relationships with members of the opposite sex. A true disciple of Jesus will not remarry but will be waiting and praying for the reconciliation of their marriage. That is one evidence that they are covenantkeepers, true disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ.

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Objections? Divorced and remarried people will always make an objection to the Truth. They are skillfull in twisting the Scriptures to justify their own lifestyles and so let’s have a look at some of their favorite passages so that we can be prepared and equipped in answering them. People who are divorced and remarried like to twist John 4:16-18 into saying that the woman was divorced and remarried 5 times since she had 5 husbands. To refresh your memory, here is the text: John 4:16-18 “Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.” We do not know if all 5 husbands were dead. It could quite possibly have been the case. Remember Tamar had 2 husbands (Genesis 38) that all died. Remember the story that the scribes told Jesus about the woman that had 7 husbands that died and then they asked whose wife shall she be in the resurrection (Matthew 22)? Granted this is only a scenario that the scribes sketched, but it is not so farfetched as you may have thought. The woman at the well was unfaithful not because she had 5 husbands, but because she was living with that one man who is not her husband. People who are divorced and remarried love to turn to 1 Corinthians 7:15 to justify their position. Let’s read the verse … “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” In observing the context, it seems the best understanding is to say: "He/she is not bound to fulfill his/her marital rights if the unbelieving spouse voluntarily leaves. He/she is not bound to force the unbeliever to stay." To say that this "not bound" passage means that one may divorce and remarry causes Paul to contradict himself in what he says in verses 10 and 11 (by God's direct command) and verse 39. If there is an unbelieving spouse who insists on leaving, let them leave. One is not in bondage to follow them around town, to wash their clothes, to take care of all their financial needs, to talk to their parents for them, or to make excuses for them. The one who was left may set up their own household and go on with life. The Christian spouse is not held accountable in this case to perform duties as a spouse. We believe that the apostle Paul knew that a divorce or separation could happen, in some cases, such as that found here in 1 Corinthians 7:15 or because of abusive situations. While these scriptures acknowledge that divorce or separation can take place, we do not believe this is an exception allowing for remarriage. Just four verses earlier, Paul had said to remain unmarried or reconcile. So, Paul would be contradicting himself if he now made an exception. Jesus and Paul always have the mindset of forgiveness and reconciliation. 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 is another favorite with people who are divorce and remarried. Here’s the text that they love to twist:

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“Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.” If you look at the Greek … when Paul said “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed (this word is a different Greek word than the word that Paul used next) Are you loosed from a wife. Do not seek a wife.” The first “loosed” and the second “loosed” are different Greek words and are not the same! The first one refers to divorce, the second one does not! Actually, what he said is "Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned: and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned..." He did NOT say "if you remarry, you have not sinned." To marry if one's spouse has died is not sin, but to use this passage to justify remarriage while the first partner is living causes Paul to contradict himself in this same chapter (verses 10-11 & 39) and in his teaching in Romans 7:2-3 and to contradict the teaching of Jesus (Mark 10:11-12 & Luke 16:18). One must ask the question: ‘How may a person properly be "loosed from a wife" in order to marry again?’ The Scriptural answer is: the death of the partner (1 Corinthians 7:39 & Romans 7:2-3). Furthermore, in the context of "loosing", Paul is not speaking about divorcees, but about virgins and widows (7:25-40). Some may object again by saying: ‘Doesn't Paul say that "each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to when God called him" and "to remain in the situation which he was in when God called him"?’ (1 Corinthians 7:17,20,24) Yes, but God does not call people into a state of adultery. They should remain only in situations that are not sinful, as per the examples given: circumcision, being a slave, etc. To apply this to a remarriage situation requires one to also say that a person who is single or a widow(er) when he accepts Christ must always remain that way. People who justify divorce and remarriage usually have friends or family that are divorced and remarried whom they try to protect. They will usually ask questions like: "Where does God's grace enter the picture of your "no remarriage" position?" "Do you expect divorcees to remain single the rest of their lives?" I would reply: "Does God give grace for Christians to continue in sin?" Notice Jude 4: “For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ.” We believe that the teaching that adultery is merely an act of sin which the grace of God covers while allowing the adulterous couple to continue together is an example of what Jude warns here. Now, what should your response be when you find out that your spouse was unfaithful to you? How should you respond? What is the best thing that you can do? The best option after a failed marriage, as Paul, the apostle, pointed out, was to

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remain single, leaving the door open to reconciliation which then identifies the life with Christ Jesus, the Minister of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 “And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; to wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.” We are under constraint to reconcile. If a spouse repents and turn back, we must show mercy and forgive! That's what Christ does to us when we commit sin and so we must do the same! Marriage is like a type of a picture of our Salvation. The relationship between God and His Bride is like the relationship between a man and his wife. If we mess up and are unfaithful to God, is He going to put us away and say to us that He never wants us back anymore? No! God always wants us to come back and be reconciled! Listen to the Word of God: Ephesians 5:31-32 “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” “They two shall be one flesh”–they are joined together; they are one. Nothing can take that apart; no one can take it apart. Christ and His Church/Bride will not come apart in His marriage, in His salvation, in His restoration, in His covenant, in His reconciling His flesh unto Himself. As Christians, would we want it any other way? Would we want salvation to come apart? Marriage is indeed a true picture of covenantal love as it pertains to our own salvation–an eternal relationship with the Lord our God. A certain writer has a very good explanation of this verse and I cannot help but to quote his words here: “Christ and the Betrothed Bride (Church) are one. Christ is always the innocent party, and we are the unfaithful ones, but do we want Him to divorce us? Jesus and Paul are always thinking about and hoping for reconciliation, if divorce does happen. When we become Christians, we are joined (betrothed) to Christ. Christ represents the husband and we, the church, represent the betrothed. He is always the innocent party, but we want Him to forgive us. Marriage represents this. If we become disconnected from Him, He still wants us to return to Him. He does not want us to continue in a state of adultery with the world (James 4:4). When divorce and remarriage takes place, it ruins the beautiful picture of Christ and the church to the rest of the world. As a type, human marriage cannot break what the type or shadow is. Therefore, if Christ had allowed divorce then remarriage in the "exception clause" in Matthew 19:9, He would have destroyed the type. Human marriage would no longer have been the illustration of the marriage of Christ and the Church. If Jesus had stated that divorce would free a person in a human marriage to marry again, it would not illustrate the eternal destiny of the Church in which there cannot be, and will not be any separation from Christ. Any other

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explanation of the "exception clause" other than it referring to fornication with another during the betrothal period, does not line up with the marriage of Christ and the Church. Any other interpretation removes marriage from being a true type of Christ and the Church. Because the time on earth is the engagement/betrothal/espousal period of Christ and the Church, it is possible for a person to forfeit their salvation here in this life before they die.” God expects us to extend the same mercy that He has given us through salvation to not only our brothers and sisters, but certainly to someone of much greater importance, of much more affection and intimacy, our marriage spouse ... made in the image of one flesh, as Christ and the church. Mat 18:33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee? If you want God to show mercy to you, then you are under a mandate to show mercy to others as well, most of all your wife! The one closest to you! If you do not want to show mercy to your wife, then you have double standards! You want God to show mercy to you when you sin against Him, but you do not want to show mercy to your spouse when he or she sins against you? God is always ready to forgive and so should we (Psalm 86:5). Matthew 5:7 “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” Amen.