Excellence
Content
Excellence
Excellence is a talent or quality which is unusually good and so surpasses ordinary standards. It is also an aimed for standard of performance. These are changing times. Yet in the middle of all the changes there is one thing that constantly determines success. Some call it leadership. But to my mind, it is the single-minded pursuit of excellence.
Excellence endures and sustains. It goes beyond motivation into the realms of inspiration. Excellence can be as strong a uniting force as solid vision.
Excellence does not happen in a vacuum. It needs a collective obsession as I have experienced the benefits of excellence in my own life. Excellence is a great starting point for any new organization but also an unending journey. What is excellence? It is about going a little beyond what we expect from ourselves. Part of the need for excellence is imposed on us externally by our customers. Our competition keeps us on our toes, especially when it is global in nature.
But the other driver of excellence is internal. I have found that excellence is not so much a battle you fight with others, but a battle you fight with yourself, by constantly raising the bar and stretching yourself and your team. This is the best and the most satisfying and challenging part about excellence.
How does one create excellence?
1. We create an obsession with excellence. We must dream of it not only because it delivers
better results but because we truly believe in it and find it intrinsically satisfying to us.
2. We need to build self-confidence. People who pursue excellence are self-confident. This is
because excellence requires tremendous faith in one's ability to do more and in a better way. Unless, we believe we can do better, we cannot.
3. We must understand the difference between perfection for its own sake and excellence.
Time is of essence. Globalization has made the customer only more impatient. This may seem like a paradox: should we aim for excellence or should we aim for speed? Excellence is about doing the best we can and speed lies in doing it quickly.
4. We must realize that we cannot be the best in everything we do. We must define what we
are or would like to be best at and what someone else can do better. We have to define what our own core competencies are and what we can outsource to other leaders. Headaches shared are headaches divided.
5. We must create processes that enable excellence. Today, there are a number of global
methods and processes available whether it is Six Sigma, CMM or ISO. Use them because they are based on distilled wisdom collected from the best companies in the world.
6. We must create a culture of teaming. I have found that while great individuals are important,
one cannot have pockets of excellence. Quality gives ample opportunities to build a culture of teaming. Cross-functional teams that are customer facing can cut through an amazing amount of bureaucracy, personal empire building and silos and deliver savings that one would not have imagined possible.
7. Invest in excellence for the future. Future always seems to be at a distance. But it comes
upon you so suddenly that it catches you by surprise, if not shock. What constitutes excellence in the future will be significantly different from what it is today.
8. Excellence requires humility. This is especially needed when we feel we have reached the
peak of excellence and there is nothing further we can do. We need an open mind to look at things in a different way and allow new inputs to come in.
What is NLP?
NLP is a methodology that was created to model the excellence of others. The basic idea was to be able to replicate the skills and abilities of experts.
NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a name that encompasses the three most influential components involved in producing human experience: neurology, language and programming. The neurological system regulates how our bodies function, language determines how we interface and communicate with other people and our programming determines the kinds of models of the world we create. Neuro-Linguistic Programming describes the fundamental dynamics between mind (neuro) and language (linguistic) and how their interplay affects our body and behavior (programming).
NLP is a pragmatic school of thought - an 'epistemology' - that addresses the many levels involved in being human. NLP is a multi-dimensional process that involves the development of behavioral competence and flexibility, but also involves strategic thinking and an understanding of the mental and cognitive processes behind behavior. NLP provides tools and skills for the development of states of individual excellence, but it also establishes a system of empowering beliefs and presuppositions about what human beings are, what communication is and what the process of change is all about. At another level, NLP is about self-discovery, exploring identity and mission. It also provides a framework for understanding and relating to the 'spiritual' part of human experience that reaches beyond us as individuals to our family, community and global systems. NLP is not only about competence and excellence; it is about wisdom and vision.
History of NLP
NLP was originated by John Grinder (whose background was in linguistics) and Richard Bandler (whose background was in mathematics and gestalt therapy) for the purpose of making explicit models of human excellence. Their first work The Structure of Magic Vol. I & II (1975, 1976) identified the verbal and behavioral patterns of therapists Fritz Perls (the creator of gestalt therapy) and Virginia Satir (internationally renowned family therapist). Their next work Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. Vol. I & II (1975, 1976) examined the verbal and behavioral patterns of Milton Erickson, founder of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis and one of the most widely acknowledged and clinically successful psychiatrists of our times.
John Grinder and Richard Bandler
As a result of this earlier work, Grinder and Bandler formalized their modeling techniques and their own individual contributions under the name "Neuro-Linguistic Programming" to symbolize the relationship between the brain, language and the body.
Through the years, NLP has developed some very powerful tools and skills for communication and change in a wide range of professional areas including: counseling, psychotherapy, education, health, creativity, law, management, sales, leadership and parenting. NLP is now in its third decade as a field of study and has evolved considerably since its beginnings in the mid 1970s. Over the years, NLP has literally spread around the world and has touched the lives of millions
of people. Since the 1990's, a new generation of NLP has been developing. This form of NLP addresses generative and systemic applications and focuses on high level issues such as identity, vision and mission.
Reading the Eyes for Personal Insights
Eye movements can give subtle clues about what someone is thinking, feeling, or remembering. Everyone moves their eyes according to which internal mental system they’re using – recognizing someone’s eye movement lets you know whether they are thinking in terms of images, sounds, or feelings and movement.
(N.B. Kinaesthetic means both movement and emotional experiences.)
In this instance we’ve taken what you would generally see for a right-handed person, if the person is left-handed these signals may be reversed.
VR Visual Remembered: Seeing images of things seen before, in the way they were seen before. Question: “What colour is your mother’s eyes?” “What does your coat look like?” VC Visual Constructed: Seeing images of things never seen before or seeing things differently than they were seen before. Question: “What would an orange hippopotamus with purple spots look like?” “What would you look like form the other side of the room?” AR Auditory Remembered: Remembering sound heard before. Question: “What’s the last thing I said?” “What does your alarm clock sound like?”
AC Auditory Constructed: Hearing sound not heard before. Question: “What would the sound of clapping turning into the sound of birds singing sound like ?” “What would your name sound backwards?” AI Auditory Internal: Talking to oneself. Question: “Say something to yourself that you often say to yourself.” “Recite the prayer that you say in the temple.” K Kinesthetic: Feeling emotions, tactile sensations (sense of touch), or proprioceptive feelings (feelings of muscles movement). Question: “What does it feel like to be happy?” “What is the fleeing of touching a pine cone?” “What does it feel like to run?”
When someone is doing this Remembering a picture (Vr) Creating a picture (Vc) Remembering a sound or conversation (Ar) Imagining what a sound will sound like (Ac) Having a conversation with themselves (Ai) Accessing emotions (K)
The eyes are doing this Move to the top left Move to the top right Move horizontally to their left Move horizontally to their right Drop down and to their left Drop down and to their right
Using Your Modalities and Submodalities
Everything you experience is as a result of information that you take in through your senses – visual (what you see), auditory (what you hear), kinaesthetic(touch and feelings), olfactory (smell), and gustatory (taste). These are known as modalities. Each modality has its own level of fine-tuning known as sub modalities. For example, a picture can be bright or dull, black and white, or in colour; a sound can be loud or soft and so on. Because submodalities are the basic building blocks of your experiences, they’re crucial tools in managing your mind and your emotions. You may find it useful to keep notes on how you can use submodalities to enhance the good areas in your life or change what isn’t working. This can be done by assessing the submodalities in negative memories you have and appreciating the qualities of that memory. Being able to associate into and dissociate out of a memory gives you the power and control to understand the intensity behind any feelings you have in response to that situation. Looking at these memories of situations and/or people in an objective, calm and collected way, you can make great personal progress to overcome or just deal better with things that challenge you.
How to Squash Your Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are those negative little thoughts or judgements that prevent you from being your best self, such as ‘I can’t make friends easily’ or ‘People generally aren’t very nice’. Follow these steps to squash those limiting beliefs and replace them with helpful constructive opinions. This way you can end up seeing them in a different and more positive light. 1. Think of a limiting belief that you have and make a note of the picture that comes to mind.
2. Think of a belief that you no longer find true. This can go along the lines of, ‘I used to believe in Santa’. Look at the picture that is presented by this belief that is no longer true. 3. Think of a belief that, for you, is an absolute certainty. Need help? Think of the stars when you’re sitting in a brightly lit metropolis. Even though you can’t see them close to, you know the stars exist and you know the sun will rise in the morning. Then picture the sun rising, or whatever belief you choose. 4. Think of a belief you’d rather have than the limiting belief you picture in Step 1. This may be the opposite of your limiting belief, just stated in the positive. ‘I can be fit, healthy, and weigh 140 pounds again.’ And then notice the picture that accompanies your new belief.
5. Change the submodalities of the limiting belief from Step 1 into those of the belief that is no longer true
for you in Step 2.
6. Change the submodalities of the belief you would rather have from Step 4 into those of the belief which
you are absolutely certain of from Step 3.
Remembering the NLP Presuppositions
Neuro-Linguistic Programming provides some basic positive assumptions and constructive convictions about the world. A few are listed here, take a look and try playing with these in your mind to see if any of them speak to you. • • • • • • The map is not the territory. People respond according to their map of the territory. There’s no failure – only feedback. The meaning of the message is the response it draws out. If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something different. The person with the most flexibility influences the outcome of any interaction. You cannot not communicate. You already have all the resources you need to achieve your desired outcomes. Every behaviour has a positive intent. People are much more than their behaviour. The mind and body are interlinked and affect each other. Having choice is better than not having choice. Modelling successful performance leads to excellence.
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The Four Pillars of NLP
Look no further for a summary of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) in just four key points. Pay attention to these four chunks of the subject and you’ll be well on your way to integrating NLP into the way you go about your daily life.
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Rapport: How you build a relationship with others and with yourself. Sensory awareness: How the world is different when you use all your senses. Outcome thinking: How to think about what you want. Behavioural flexibility: How to do something different when what you’re currently doing isn’t working.
Rapport Building
Rapport
Have you ever met someone and after 10 minutes of talking felt like you have known the person forever? Are there people you just naturally feel comfortable with and other with who you don't seem to be able to hit it off? The main difference between these two is called rapport: with the first group you have naturally, with second, well, not at all. Rapport is a feeling of being in-sync with someone else, to be on the same wavelength and consequently to really understand and appreciate someone else and their opinions. We need rapport for unconsciously making the other person believe that you two are alike, it massively increases response potential. As a consequence, it will be easier for you to lead the other person to your point of view. So, how you create it? Well, somewhere in the 1980s body language books were preaching the concept of mirroring, where you simply mirror all the gestures somebody does. While this is one possibility, there is a high chance this will be quite obvious, and as a result will make you look slightly strange, and the other person will feel quite uncomfortable.
Mirroring
Mirroring is as if you were looking into a mirror. To mirror a person who has raised his right hand, you would raise your left hand (i.e. mirror image). To match this same person, you would raise your righthand (doing exactly the same as the other person). Mirroring behaviors can include: Body Posture Hand Gestures Facial Expressions Weight Shifts Movement of Feet Eye Movements
Mirroring is physically 'copying' the behaviors of another in a subtle manner. Try mirroring just one aspect of another person's behavior while talking to them...perhaps their posture. When this is easy, gently include another piece, like their hand gestures. Gradually add another and another until you are mirroring without thinking about it. The more you practice, the easier it will become. You also will be rewarded with the same comfortable, positive response in YOURSELF that you are creating for another.
Pacing
Pacing in NLP is gaining and maintaining rapport with another person over a period of time by joining them in their model of the world by Matching or Mirroring their external behavior; which could be speed of talking, or the body posture. Pacing a runner in a marathon could be looked at as the same thing.
Leading
Leading in NLP is changing your own behavior with enough rapport so another person will follow.
Anchoring
Anchoring is a neuro-linguistic programming term for the process by which memory recall, state change or other responses become associated with (anchored to) some stimulus, in such a way that perception of the stimulus (the anchor) leads by reflex to the anchored response occurring. The stimulus may be quite neutral or even out of conscious awareness, and the response may be either positive or negative. They are capable of being formed and reinforced by repeated stimuli, and thus are analogous to classical conditioning. Basic anchoring involves in essence, the elicitation of a strong congruent experience of a desired state, whilst using some notable stimulus (touch, word, sight) at the time this is most fully realized. In many cases, repetition of the stimulus will re associate and restore the experience of the state. The notion of using anchoring was refined by Bandler and Grinder and uses the
powerful unconscious resources of others to get the responses you desire. It is a natural process that usually occurs without our awareness, and may have positive impact, or be maladaptive. For example, a voice tonality that resembles the characteristics of one's perception of an "angry voice" may not actually be as a result of anger, but will usually trigger an emotional response in the person perceiving the tonality to have the traits of anger. However, consciously creating an anchor means a resourceful state can be recalled at will. For example, touching the knuckle of the left hand after the anchor has been established so that this action produces the resourceful state.
Types of anchor
Anchors (the "trigger", or stimulus) can come in infinitude of possible forms: verbal phrases, physical touches or sensations, certain sights and sounds, or internally, such as words one says to oneself, or memories and states one is in. An extreme view is that almost everything one perceives acts as an anchor, in the sense that perceiving it tends to trigger reflexively some thought or feeling or response.
There are certain speculations as to what criteria must be met before an Anchor can be properly formed. Most agree that the trigger must be Specific - otherwise the subject will not begin to sensitize to it Intermittent - if it were constant then desensitization would eventually occur Anchored to a unique, specific and prompt reaction - otherwise the anchor will fail to elicit and reinforced any one single response due to many different reactions being associated to the trigger. It is also important that reinforcement of an anchor (in other words, repeated formation with the aim of reinforcement) should have a "break" between each repeat, since the neurological 'lesson' is quite capable of working either way, and only one way is desired. This is an example of where precision and structure may create a difference between success and failure.
Examples:
If, when young, you participated in family activities that gave you great pleasure, the pleasure was associated with the activity itself, so when you think of the activity or are reminded of it you tend to reexperience some pleasurable feeling.
Flicking through an old family photo album stirs pleasant memories and some of the feelings associated with them. A child's comforter in an unfamiliar situation. An old love song re-awakens a romantic mood. The smell of freshly baked apple pies brings back memories of a happy carefree childhood. Phobias in this sense can be studied as one example of very powerful anchor - see spider, feel terrified and nauseous. Revisiting an old school or a place with powerful memories.
Usage
NLP-style anchoring is a process that goes on around and within us all the time, whether we are aware of it or not. Most of the time we are not consciously aware of why we feel as we do - indeed we may not realize we have responded in some cases, which makes it a much more powerful force in our lives. Anchoring is used in NLP to facilitate state management. In this sense an anchor is set up to be triggered by a consciously chosen stimulus, deliberately linked by practice to a known useful state, to provide reflexive access to that state at will. This may be used for exam nerves, overcoming fear, feelings such as happiness or determination, or to recollect how one will feel if a good resolution is kept. Anchoring is also used by skillful film makers to evoke suspense in the audience. Think of your own psychological changes that occurred when you heard the soundtracks amplified, pounding heartbeat rhythm in the moments leading up to each of the appearances of the huge killer shark in the movie Jaws. What anchor was established in you by the crescendo of the sound of the music meeting the shark? Did your heartbeat increase? Did your palms begin to sweat? Did you have to see the shark, or was the thumping music enough to start your slide to the edge of your seat? Likewise the finale of classical symphonies, or "mood music" such as romantic, climactic, or apprehensive in films. Leitmotivs recurring themes in music and literature also serve to re stimulate a previously established response. For trauma victims, sudden noises or movement can serve as terrifying anchors capable of recollecting the traumatic experience. In this case, amongst other approaches, NLP might be used in a slightly different way - to desensitize the stimulus and perhaps instead also sensitize it to some more neutral or positive feeling.
The Five Keys to Anchoring:
Intensity of the Experience I Timing of the Anchor T Uniqueness of the Anchor U Replication of the Stimulus R Number of times N
Circle of excellence
One of the methods you can use to summon up your confidence in a crisis is a mental technique from NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) called the "Circle of Excellence." It doesn't actually create competence in a skill you desire. Rather, it assumes ability in its place so it gives you the ability to summon up the confidence for performing a skill. For instance, you can use this to get rid of the fear of speaking when you have to give a talk, or boost your confidence for sports or other high performance needs. Here are the steps for using the Circle of Excellence, which you need to practice ahead of time in order to be able to draw upon it at will: Step 1. Imagine an invisible circle on the floor. In your imagination, make it about 3 feet in diameter and 2 feet in front of you, something large enough to walk into. You can draw chalk on the floor if you like when you are first training to master this mental technique.
Step 2. Go inside the circle and imagine a time you were wonderful at what you want to be doing. Imagine that everything went smoothly, you were bright, funny, happy, confident, full of energy and a great success at your task. You were balanced, creative, powerful or any other positive state of your choice where you were balanced and centered. You want all your chi to come up and flood your body with the good feelings of confident performance.
Now if you don't have this particular personal history, just pretend you have this personal history. In your mind, you can use visualization to even step-into-the-shoes-of role playing of a movie hero, a living legend, or anyone you admire to get into that state you want. Your brain cannot tell the difference between a REAL history and an IMAGINED history or the history of others, so all you have to do is emotionally capture that feeling of excellence using whatever role models or scenario playing that works for you. An outside observer should actually see physical, noticeable changes in your breathing and posture when you've got it, otherwise the resource state you're trying to
access is either being poorly accessed or is of too low quality. That means keep practicing until "you've got it" and it "clicks."
Step 3. Develop a full visual, auditory, kinesthetic representation of the state. Use all your sense to actually FEEL what it's like to be in that state. See yourself in the circle being wonderful. Visualize it fully. Feel the greatness and calm. Feel the fullness of chi.
When you have added enough resources, step automatically into the powerful state you've created within the circle. As soon as you step into the circle, imagine it's as if you step into that person, that set of states, that set of superpower being.
Step 4. Move into the circle of excellence. Step into the picture of yourself. Anchor this as a resource state so that you can bring it up at any time you require it. In other words, figure out how to draw upon this state at will by practicing it, and then associating some mental cue with its bringing forth. That might be tapping your fingers, holding your arms in a certain way or whatever. You don't have to use meditation all the time to handle some of the mental scenarios that come your way. As Buddha said, use what's virtuous that works. Hence, if you come under high performance pressure frequently, you can use this little trick to practice summoning the mental state you need at will.
Towards Excellence
Excellence is a talent or quality which is unusually good and so surpasses ordinary standards. It is also an aimed for standard of performance. These are changing times. Yet in the middle of all the changes there is one thing that constantly determines success. Some call it leadership. But to my mind, it is the single-minded pursuit of excellence.
Excellence endures and sustains. It goes beyond motivation into the realms of inspiration. Excellence can be as strong a uniting force as solid vision.
Excellence does not happen in a vacuum. It needs a collective obsession as I have experienced the benefits of excellence in my own life. Excellence is a great starting point for any new organization but also an unending journey. What is excellence? It is about going a little beyond what we expect from ourselves. Part of the need for excellence is imposed on us externally by our customers. Our competition keeps us on our toes, especially when it is global in nature.
But the other driver of excellence is internal. I have found that excellence is not so much a battle you fight with others, but a battle you fight with yourself, by constantly raising the bar and stretching yourself and your team. This is the best and the most satisfying and challenging part about excellence.
How does one create excellence?
1. We create an obsession with excellence. We must dream of it not only because it delivers
better results but because we truly believe in it and find it intrinsically satisfying to us.
2. We need to build self-confidence. People who pursue excellence are self-confident. This is
because excellence requires tremendous faith in one's ability to do more and in a better way. Unless, we believe we can do better, we cannot.
3. We must understand the difference between perfection for its own sake and excellence.
Time is of essence. Globalization has made the customer only more impatient. This may seem like a paradox: should we aim for excellence or should we aim for speed? Excellence is about doing the best we can and speed lies in doing it quickly.
4. We must realize that we cannot be the best in everything we do. We must define what we
are or would like to be best at and what someone else can do better. We have to define what our own core competencies are and what we can outsource to other leaders. Headaches shared are headaches divided.
5. We must create processes that enable excellence. Today, there are a number of global
methods and processes available whether it is Six Sigma, CMM or ISO. Use them because they are based on distilled wisdom collected from the best companies in the world.
6. We must create a culture of teaming. I have found that while great individuals are important,
one cannot have pockets of excellence. Quality gives ample opportunities to build a culture of teaming. Cross-functional teams that are customer facing can cut through an amazing amount of bureaucracy, personal empire building and silos and deliver savings that one would not have imagined possible.
7. Invest in excellence for the future. Future always seems to be at a distance. But it comes
upon you so suddenly that it catches you by surprise, if not shock. What constitutes excellence in the future will be significantly different from what it is today.
8. Excellence requires humility. This is especially needed when we feel we have reached the
peak of excellence and there is nothing further we can do. We need an open mind to look at things in a different way and allow new inputs to come in.
What is NLP?
NLP is a methodology that was created to model the excellence of others. The basic idea was to be able to replicate the skills and abilities of experts.
NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a name that encompasses the three most influential components involved in producing human experience: neurology, language and programming. The neurological system regulates how our bodies function, language determines how we interface and communicate with other people and our programming determines the kinds of models of the world we create. Neuro-Linguistic Programming describes the fundamental dynamics between mind (neuro) and language (linguistic) and how their interplay affects our body and behavior (programming).
NLP is a pragmatic school of thought - an 'epistemology' - that addresses the many levels involved in being human. NLP is a multi-dimensional process that involves the development of behavioral competence and flexibility, but also involves strategic thinking and an understanding of the mental and cognitive processes behind behavior. NLP provides tools and skills for the development of states of individual excellence, but it also establishes a system of empowering beliefs and presuppositions about what human beings are, what communication is and what the process of change is all about. At another level, NLP is about self-discovery, exploring identity and mission. It also provides a framework for understanding and relating to the 'spiritual' part of human experience that reaches beyond us as individuals to our family, community and global systems. NLP is not only about competence and excellence; it is about wisdom and vision.
History of NLP
NLP was originated by John Grinder (whose background was in linguistics) and Richard Bandler (whose background was in mathematics and gestalt therapy) for the purpose of making explicit models of human excellence. Their first work The Structure of Magic Vol. I & II (1975, 1976) identified the verbal and behavioral patterns of therapists Fritz Perls (the creator of gestalt therapy) and Virginia Satir (internationally renowned family therapist). Their next work Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. Vol. I & II (1975, 1976) examined the verbal and behavioral patterns of Milton Erickson, founder of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis and one of the most widely acknowledged and clinically successful psychiatrists of our times.
John Grinder and Richard Bandler
As a result of this earlier work, Grinder and Bandler formalized their modeling techniques and their own individual contributions under the name "Neuro-Linguistic Programming" to symbolize the relationship between the brain, language and the body.
Through the years, NLP has developed some very powerful tools and skills for communication and change in a wide range of professional areas including: counseling, psychotherapy, education, health, creativity, law, management, sales, leadership and parenting. NLP is now in its third decade as a field of study and has evolved considerably since its beginnings in the mid 1970s. Over the years, NLP has literally spread around the world and has touched the lives of millions
of people. Since the 1990's, a new generation of NLP has been developing. This form of NLP addresses generative and systemic applications and focuses on high level issues such as identity, vision and mission.
Reading the Eyes for Personal Insights
Eye movements can give subtle clues about what someone is thinking, feeling, or remembering. Everyone moves their eyes according to which internal mental system they’re using – recognizing someone’s eye movement lets you know whether they are thinking in terms of images, sounds, or feelings and movement.
(N.B. Kinaesthetic means both movement and emotional experiences.)
In this instance we’ve taken what you would generally see for a right-handed person, if the person is left-handed these signals may be reversed.
VR Visual Remembered: Seeing images of things seen before, in the way they were seen before. Question: “What colour is your mother’s eyes?” “What does your coat look like?” VC Visual Constructed: Seeing images of things never seen before or seeing things differently than they were seen before. Question: “What would an orange hippopotamus with purple spots look like?” “What would you look like form the other side of the room?” AR Auditory Remembered: Remembering sound heard before. Question: “What’s the last thing I said?” “What does your alarm clock sound like?”
AC Auditory Constructed: Hearing sound not heard before. Question: “What would the sound of clapping turning into the sound of birds singing sound like ?” “What would your name sound backwards?” AI Auditory Internal: Talking to oneself. Question: “Say something to yourself that you often say to yourself.” “Recite the prayer that you say in the temple.” K Kinesthetic: Feeling emotions, tactile sensations (sense of touch), or proprioceptive feelings (feelings of muscles movement). Question: “What does it feel like to be happy?” “What is the fleeing of touching a pine cone?” “What does it feel like to run?”
When someone is doing this Remembering a picture (Vr) Creating a picture (Vc) Remembering a sound or conversation (Ar) Imagining what a sound will sound like (Ac) Having a conversation with themselves (Ai) Accessing emotions (K)
The eyes are doing this Move to the top left Move to the top right Move horizontally to their left Move horizontally to their right Drop down and to their left Drop down and to their right
Using Your Modalities and Submodalities
Everything you experience is as a result of information that you take in through your senses – visual (what you see), auditory (what you hear), kinaesthetic(touch and feelings), olfactory (smell), and gustatory (taste). These are known as modalities. Each modality has its own level of fine-tuning known as sub modalities. For example, a picture can be bright or dull, black and white, or in colour; a sound can be loud or soft and so on. Because submodalities are the basic building blocks of your experiences, they’re crucial tools in managing your mind and your emotions. You may find it useful to keep notes on how you can use submodalities to enhance the good areas in your life or change what isn’t working. This can be done by assessing the submodalities in negative memories you have and appreciating the qualities of that memory. Being able to associate into and dissociate out of a memory gives you the power and control to understand the intensity behind any feelings you have in response to that situation. Looking at these memories of situations and/or people in an objective, calm and collected way, you can make great personal progress to overcome or just deal better with things that challenge you.
How to Squash Your Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are those negative little thoughts or judgements that prevent you from being your best self, such as ‘I can’t make friends easily’ or ‘People generally aren’t very nice’. Follow these steps to squash those limiting beliefs and replace them with helpful constructive opinions. This way you can end up seeing them in a different and more positive light. 1. Think of a limiting belief that you have and make a note of the picture that comes to mind.
2. Think of a belief that you no longer find true. This can go along the lines of, ‘I used to believe in Santa’. Look at the picture that is presented by this belief that is no longer true. 3. Think of a belief that, for you, is an absolute certainty. Need help? Think of the stars when you’re sitting in a brightly lit metropolis. Even though you can’t see them close to, you know the stars exist and you know the sun will rise in the morning. Then picture the sun rising, or whatever belief you choose. 4. Think of a belief you’d rather have than the limiting belief you picture in Step 1. This may be the opposite of your limiting belief, just stated in the positive. ‘I can be fit, healthy, and weigh 140 pounds again.’ And then notice the picture that accompanies your new belief.
5. Change the submodalities of the limiting belief from Step 1 into those of the belief that is no longer true
for you in Step 2.
6. Change the submodalities of the belief you would rather have from Step 4 into those of the belief which
you are absolutely certain of from Step 3.
Remembering the NLP Presuppositions
Neuro-Linguistic Programming provides some basic positive assumptions and constructive convictions about the world. A few are listed here, take a look and try playing with these in your mind to see if any of them speak to you. • • • • • • The map is not the territory. People respond according to their map of the territory. There’s no failure – only feedback. The meaning of the message is the response it draws out. If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something different. The person with the most flexibility influences the outcome of any interaction. You cannot not communicate. You already have all the resources you need to achieve your desired outcomes. Every behaviour has a positive intent. People are much more than their behaviour. The mind and body are interlinked and affect each other. Having choice is better than not having choice. Modelling successful performance leads to excellence.
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The Four Pillars of NLP
Look no further for a summary of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) in just four key points. Pay attention to these four chunks of the subject and you’ll be well on your way to integrating NLP into the way you go about your daily life.
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Rapport: How you build a relationship with others and with yourself. Sensory awareness: How the world is different when you use all your senses. Outcome thinking: How to think about what you want. Behavioural flexibility: How to do something different when what you’re currently doing isn’t working.
Rapport Building
Rapport
Have you ever met someone and after 10 minutes of talking felt like you have known the person forever? Are there people you just naturally feel comfortable with and other with who you don't seem to be able to hit it off? The main difference between these two is called rapport: with the first group you have naturally, with second, well, not at all. Rapport is a feeling of being in-sync with someone else, to be on the same wavelength and consequently to really understand and appreciate someone else and their opinions. We need rapport for unconsciously making the other person believe that you two are alike, it massively increases response potential. As a consequence, it will be easier for you to lead the other person to your point of view. So, how you create it? Well, somewhere in the 1980s body language books were preaching the concept of mirroring, where you simply mirror all the gestures somebody does. While this is one possibility, there is a high chance this will be quite obvious, and as a result will make you look slightly strange, and the other person will feel quite uncomfortable.
Mirroring
Mirroring is as if you were looking into a mirror. To mirror a person who has raised his right hand, you would raise your left hand (i.e. mirror image). To match this same person, you would raise your righthand (doing exactly the same as the other person). Mirroring behaviors can include: Body Posture Hand Gestures Facial Expressions Weight Shifts Movement of Feet Eye Movements
Mirroring is physically 'copying' the behaviors of another in a subtle manner. Try mirroring just one aspect of another person's behavior while talking to them...perhaps their posture. When this is easy, gently include another piece, like their hand gestures. Gradually add another and another until you are mirroring without thinking about it. The more you practice, the easier it will become. You also will be rewarded with the same comfortable, positive response in YOURSELF that you are creating for another.
Pacing
Pacing in NLP is gaining and maintaining rapport with another person over a period of time by joining them in their model of the world by Matching or Mirroring their external behavior; which could be speed of talking, or the body posture. Pacing a runner in a marathon could be looked at as the same thing.
Leading
Leading in NLP is changing your own behavior with enough rapport so another person will follow.
Anchoring
Anchoring is a neuro-linguistic programming term for the process by which memory recall, state change or other responses become associated with (anchored to) some stimulus, in such a way that perception of the stimulus (the anchor) leads by reflex to the anchored response occurring. The stimulus may be quite neutral or even out of conscious awareness, and the response may be either positive or negative. They are capable of being formed and reinforced by repeated stimuli, and thus are analogous to classical conditioning. Basic anchoring involves in essence, the elicitation of a strong congruent experience of a desired state, whilst using some notable stimulus (touch, word, sight) at the time this is most fully realized. In many cases, repetition of the stimulus will re associate and restore the experience of the state. The notion of using anchoring was refined by Bandler and Grinder and uses the
powerful unconscious resources of others to get the responses you desire. It is a natural process that usually occurs without our awareness, and may have positive impact, or be maladaptive. For example, a voice tonality that resembles the characteristics of one's perception of an "angry voice" may not actually be as a result of anger, but will usually trigger an emotional response in the person perceiving the tonality to have the traits of anger. However, consciously creating an anchor means a resourceful state can be recalled at will. For example, touching the knuckle of the left hand after the anchor has been established so that this action produces the resourceful state.
Types of anchor
Anchors (the "trigger", or stimulus) can come in infinitude of possible forms: verbal phrases, physical touches or sensations, certain sights and sounds, or internally, such as words one says to oneself, or memories and states one is in. An extreme view is that almost everything one perceives acts as an anchor, in the sense that perceiving it tends to trigger reflexively some thought or feeling or response.
There are certain speculations as to what criteria must be met before an Anchor can be properly formed. Most agree that the trigger must be Specific - otherwise the subject will not begin to sensitize to it Intermittent - if it were constant then desensitization would eventually occur Anchored to a unique, specific and prompt reaction - otherwise the anchor will fail to elicit and reinforced any one single response due to many different reactions being associated to the trigger. It is also important that reinforcement of an anchor (in other words, repeated formation with the aim of reinforcement) should have a "break" between each repeat, since the neurological 'lesson' is quite capable of working either way, and only one way is desired. This is an example of where precision and structure may create a difference between success and failure.
Examples:
If, when young, you participated in family activities that gave you great pleasure, the pleasure was associated with the activity itself, so when you think of the activity or are reminded of it you tend to reexperience some pleasurable feeling.
Flicking through an old family photo album stirs pleasant memories and some of the feelings associated with them. A child's comforter in an unfamiliar situation. An old love song re-awakens a romantic mood. The smell of freshly baked apple pies brings back memories of a happy carefree childhood. Phobias in this sense can be studied as one example of very powerful anchor - see spider, feel terrified and nauseous. Revisiting an old school or a place with powerful memories.
Usage
NLP-style anchoring is a process that goes on around and within us all the time, whether we are aware of it or not. Most of the time we are not consciously aware of why we feel as we do - indeed we may not realize we have responded in some cases, which makes it a much more powerful force in our lives. Anchoring is used in NLP to facilitate state management. In this sense an anchor is set up to be triggered by a consciously chosen stimulus, deliberately linked by practice to a known useful state, to provide reflexive access to that state at will. This may be used for exam nerves, overcoming fear, feelings such as happiness or determination, or to recollect how one will feel if a good resolution is kept. Anchoring is also used by skillful film makers to evoke suspense in the audience. Think of your own psychological changes that occurred when you heard the soundtracks amplified, pounding heartbeat rhythm in the moments leading up to each of the appearances of the huge killer shark in the movie Jaws. What anchor was established in you by the crescendo of the sound of the music meeting the shark? Did your heartbeat increase? Did your palms begin to sweat? Did you have to see the shark, or was the thumping music enough to start your slide to the edge of your seat? Likewise the finale of classical symphonies, or "mood music" such as romantic, climactic, or apprehensive in films. Leitmotivs recurring themes in music and literature also serve to re stimulate a previously established response. For trauma victims, sudden noises or movement can serve as terrifying anchors capable of recollecting the traumatic experience. In this case, amongst other approaches, NLP might be used in a slightly different way - to desensitize the stimulus and perhaps instead also sensitize it to some more neutral or positive feeling.
The Five Keys to Anchoring:
Intensity of the Experience I Timing of the Anchor T Uniqueness of the Anchor U Replication of the Stimulus R Number of times N
Circle of excellence
One of the methods you can use to summon up your confidence in a crisis is a mental technique from NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) called the "Circle of Excellence." It doesn't actually create competence in a skill you desire. Rather, it assumes ability in its place so it gives you the ability to summon up the confidence for performing a skill. For instance, you can use this to get rid of the fear of speaking when you have to give a talk, or boost your confidence for sports or other high performance needs. Here are the steps for using the Circle of Excellence, which you need to practice ahead of time in order to be able to draw upon it at will: Step 1. Imagine an invisible circle on the floor. In your imagination, make it about 3 feet in diameter and 2 feet in front of you, something large enough to walk into. You can draw chalk on the floor if you like when you are first training to master this mental technique.
Step 2. Go inside the circle and imagine a time you were wonderful at what you want to be doing. Imagine that everything went smoothly, you were bright, funny, happy, confident, full of energy and a great success at your task. You were balanced, creative, powerful or any other positive state of your choice where you were balanced and centered. You want all your chi to come up and flood your body with the good feelings of confident performance.
Now if you don't have this particular personal history, just pretend you have this personal history. In your mind, you can use visualization to even step-into-the-shoes-of role playing of a movie hero, a living legend, or anyone you admire to get into that state you want. Your brain cannot tell the difference between a REAL history and an IMAGINED history or the history of others, so all you have to do is emotionally capture that feeling of excellence using whatever role models or scenario playing that works for you. An outside observer should actually see physical, noticeable changes in your breathing and posture when you've got it, otherwise the resource state you're trying to
access is either being poorly accessed or is of too low quality. That means keep practicing until "you've got it" and it "clicks."
Step 3. Develop a full visual, auditory, kinesthetic representation of the state. Use all your sense to actually FEEL what it's like to be in that state. See yourself in the circle being wonderful. Visualize it fully. Feel the greatness and calm. Feel the fullness of chi.
When you have added enough resources, step automatically into the powerful state you've created within the circle. As soon as you step into the circle, imagine it's as if you step into that person, that set of states, that set of superpower being.
Step 4. Move into the circle of excellence. Step into the picture of yourself. Anchor this as a resource state so that you can bring it up at any time you require it. In other words, figure out how to draw upon this state at will by practicing it, and then associating some mental cue with its bringing forth. That might be tapping your fingers, holding your arms in a certain way or whatever. You don't have to use meditation all the time to handle some of the mental scenarios that come your way. As Buddha said, use what's virtuous that works. Hence, if you come under high performance pressure frequently, you can use this little trick to practice summoning the mental state you need at will.
Towards Excellence
