FHM - June 2013 Singapore

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Cont ents
Give Bali or Phuket a break.

06/13

HOLIDAY HOT SPOTS

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It will happen in our lifetime.

SPACE TRAVEL

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ON THE COVER

FHM Models Top 10 girls wear lingerie, by Triumph. Heels, by Charles & Keith and Pedro. Art direction: Tony Law; Photography: Joel Low; Styling: Cheryl Chan; Art direction assistance: Dannii Choo; Photography assistance: Alfie Pan; Hair: Peter Lee/ Hairloom using Goldwell; Makeup: Venetia Stravens/9838-7087 using Nars; For more behind-the-scenes photos, visit Facebook.com/ FHMSingapore, twitter.com/FHMSingapore and instagram/FHMSingapore.
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PHOTOS: XINMSN

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Cont ents
Show off your individuality.

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STREET HIP

Fashion/Tech/Stuff

22 Opener Tank tops. 24 Snips Hip Hong Kong labels, and other man styles. 26 Opinion Rolled-up pants: Cool or coolie? 28 Grooming Face protection. 30 Fashion Street wear. 38 Sync Watches for the active man. 40 Hardware Modern gadgets.

Q+A
Just the usual, please
42 Aircraft Rescue Fire Officer Keeping our airport free from hazards.

[06]
04 Talent Star Tan. Nice name. 12 9 Ways… To tell you are turning into a dad. 14 Train Your Brains The world’s best football manager. 15 Etiquette Beach behaviour. 18 FHM Models 2013 See what you have been missing.
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Sorting out your pleasure

The bit where you come in

88 Festivals Mud, music and mayhem. 90 Games Shoot to kill. 91 Music Mando-pop, Strokes. 92 Man Simply Ludacris. 93 Woman Fast and furious with Michelle Rodriguez. 94 Movies The ultimate horror-movie cast. 94 DVD Is five enough? 95 Books Human journeys.

FHM Models/ Etiquette/ Train Your Brain/Top 9 List

Star Gazer
She’s tall with curves in the right places. Plus, she’s got a fabulous name. Star Tan, a guest relations at Playhouse, lets us in on her exhilarating (night)life.

TH E

S ECTION

YOU

CONTROL

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Words: Mitchell Pereira Art direction: Pyron Tan Photography: Joel Low Styling: Cheryl Chan

Lingerie set, by H&M. Faux crocodile leather pumps, by Muse Boutique. Stockings, stylist’s own. Photography assistance: Eddie Teo; Hair: Antonio Cheng/9363-5145; Makeup: Naz Kokholm/ 8223-2960 using M.A.C; Location: Playhouse.

Talent
What’s the best thing about being a Fantastic Baby? (The girls at Playhouse are known as Fantastic Babies. ) Getting to know so many girls from different walks of life. I particularly enjoy how we help one another accessorise our costumes for the themed nights that Playhouse organises. My favourite is “nurse” night. What’s your choice of poison? Champagne and vodka — together! Which drink in hand makes a guy most attractive to you? Whisky on the rocks. What’s your usual response to guys who try to hit on you? It depends on their opening line, but they usually pick my height [Star’s 1.74m tall; even taller with heels on] as talking point. From there, we’ll see where the conversation leads. Any clubbing no-no for guys? Jumping around like a monkey or shoving their way through a crowd. And going around picking fights — that is really not cool. What’s the wildest attire you’ve worn at the club? During Halloween, I went as Catwoman. At another party, I dressed in boxers, tank top and fluffy bedroom slippers; I quite like that look. What’s your best asset? I like my mouth; it’s small and peach-like, a pretty attractive quality. But guys always tell me I’ve got a good-looking butt. The worst pick-up line you’ve heard? “I think I’ve seen you somewhere”, to which my answer would always be “No”. What’s the biggest turn-on in a man? Someone who has ambition and aim in life. He doesn’t have to be very successful, but as long as he’s ambitious, that’s fine by me. Sexually, he has to make sure I climax first. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done in a club? I punched a girl in the head. It was my first time punching a girl. She was holding on to my ex-boyfriend and I got pretty pissed, so I hit her on the top of her head from where I was standing — on the podium. She was quite short.
FHM

Lace corset & lace thong, both by Chalone.

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Talent

“I like my small and peach-like mouth but guys always tell me I’ve got a goodlooking but t.”

Eyelet lace lingerie set, by Chalone.

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Distributor: Pejandy (S’pore) Pte Ltd Tel: 6294 5661 Fax: 6294 5667 Available in major supermarkets: Cold Storage, Giant, Ntuc Fairprice, Cheers, Sheng Siong, Prime Mart etc Want to avoid a road accident? Drink responsibly.

Editor’s Letter

For Him Magazine Singapore may be forever summer, but FHM likes the notion of a summer break. This 2013 season, we’ll get to witness, on screen, the return of Superman, a zombie war and a recurring Hangover; be treated to friendly kickabouts by the world’s richest footballers (Barca makes a stopover at Bangkok on 7 Aug); and catch a big-a** musical fiesta (Japan’s Summer Sonic Festival on 10-11 Aug) without screwing up our body clocks. And in case you haven’t noticed, too, like our climate, FHM is sunny all-year round, which explains why the Girls of FHM are always in very little clothing. To celebrate the most anticipated period of the year, we have, not one, not two, but 10 of the hottest local girls gracing our cover. Guys, say “hi” to the FHM Models 2013 Top 10 Finalists. We also list the 13 Best Summer Holiday Destinations and Top Summer Music Festivals to attend. Still on the subject of vacation, our global reporter contemplates a Holiday in Space (it’ll happen sooner than the COE pricing will drop by half). What’s “hot” without “cold”? We pay tribute to our generation’s greatest wrestling icon — after Russian bears — “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. And if you flip over to our Upgrade section, the spotlight falls on a Canadian Ice-hockey Team and a bunch of Winter Heroes, men who overcome the odds through extreme coldweather activities. This sizzling issue is going to be one hell of a cool read. Take your time.
Managing Director Jessie Sng Group Editor Corinne Ng VP, Business Development & Operations, Lesley Ngai

Deputy Editor Dennis Yin Writer Janine Lee Editorial Administrator Farlinzah Mahmood Creative Director Tony Law Associate Creative Director Joan Lim Associate Art Director Dannii Choo Senior Designer Pyron Tan Chief Sub-Editor Jerena Ng Executive Sub-Editor Heidi Yeo Senior Sub-Editor Tan Wei Lin Sub-Editor Caroline Francis Chief Photographer Steve Zhu Executive Photographer Ealbert Ho Senior Photographer Kelvin Chia Photographers Roy Lim, Hong Chee Yan Stylist Cheryl Chan Words: Mitchell Pereira Thanks to: FHM UK, Avenue, Mannequin, Looque, Diva Models, Phantom, Upfront Models, Triumph, Kix and Walt Disney Pictures. We worked very hard to get the feature stories done, organise the shoots and to sort out all the great gadgets and pop-culture stuff for you to enjoy. There’s no need to read this section — just flip the page and enjoy the rest of the magazine.

EDITORIAL

ART DESK

SUBS DESK

PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTORS

Head, Group Sales & Marketing Irene Lim Vice President Stephanie Tay Assistant Vice President Derek Tan , Senior Account Directors Xylia Lim, Priscilla Lim Associate Account Director Celine Sim Account Managers Garant Pang, Tan Mui Kian, Emily Tang, Clara Chan, Mandee Tan Assistant Account Manager Porter Christopher Andre Jin Xiang Senior Admin Executive Sandra Ter Assistant Vice President Angela Chia Senior Manager Anne Hong Executive Brenda Chong

ADVERTISING

AD ADMIN

Senior Manager Kevin Chum Senior Executives Clara Fang, Jason Teng Executive Tay Sue Jean

MARKETING & EVENTS

Dennis Yin Deputy Editor

Senior Managers Claire Sze, Elizabeth Low

CIRCULATION

Manager Garis Chua For enquiries: Editorial E-mail: [email protected]; Fax: 6254-5116 MediaCorp Advertising Enquiry: 6333-9888 or [email protected] Subscription: 6483-1555 or [email protected]
International Director Simon Greves International Head of Content Anouska Christy International Commercial Manager Graham Kirk International Content Executive Ellie Bond

PRODUCTION

FHM INTERNATIONAL NETWORK

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Singapore FHM is published by MediaCorp Pte Ltd, Caldecott Broadcast Centre, Andrew Road, Singapore 299939, under licence from Bauer Consumer Media Ltd. MCI (P) 119/12/2012. Copyright © is held by the publisher. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. Distributed by MediaCorp Pte Ltd. Printed by timesprinters, www.timesprinters.com. Prepress managed by timesprinters. MediaCorp Pte Ltd also publishes I-WEEKLY, 8 DAYS, STYLE:, STYLE:MEN, STYLE: LIVING, STYLE: WEDDINGS, MANJA, BABYCARE BOOK, and MOTHER & BABY under licence from Bauer Consumer Media Ltd, ELLE SINGAPORE under licence from Hachette Filipacchi Presse S.A.

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Weird World

04

You own a spirit level
Sure, you’ve had that junior toolbox for a few years now. You’ve got a hammer and a screwdriver and even 20 Allen keys from all those Ikea Pax wardrobes you’ve erected. But a spirit level: Now that signifies you’ve constructed something serious, something that is required to be absolutely, perfectly horizontal or vertical. Congratulations, you have now progressed to the next level of manhood. Or at least you can accurately gauge how inept your craftsmanship is before throwing a wobbly and asking your dad to come and help.

9 WAYS TO TELL YOU’RE TURNING INTO YOUR DAD

03

You’ve started listening to Symphony FM
Modern music used to be good. There used to be melodies and harmonies and meaningful lyrics and catchy choruses. But now it’s all One Direction this and Taylor Swift that. Much better to kick back with the old wireless, flick it over to 92.4FM and enjoy Beethoven’s Fifth with a glass of red wine and a couple of scented candles.

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It’s a scientific fact that as you get older, it becomes more difficult to keep your eyes open at any given time. It starts when you begin nodding off during movies, but before you know it you’re grabbing 40 winks on the train to work and even casually trying to sneak in a quick bit of shut-eye during a particularly tender love-making session.

You fall asleep during stuff

You spend half an hour just staring into space
Waiting for someone in the pub? In the olden days, a trusty newspaper or smartphone would have seen you through those empty minutes quite nicely. But now, before you know it, half an hour has passed and all that you’ve done is stare deeply into your three-quarter-filled pint glass. To the casual observer you appear almost sage-like, wise, contemplative. The reality? Utter blankness.

06

You purchase comfortable shoes
When it really comes down to it, those limited-edition Nike Air Max trainers really won’t help you hold your Toyota Wish at the biting point on a 15 per cent hill gradient. But those tan Birkenstock sandals? Why, they’re both comfortable and practical. Plus, girls totally dig leather sandals, right?

02

You actually find Christmas cracker-style jokes funny
On which side do chickens have the most feathers? The outside. What do you call a man with brown-paper trousers? Russell. Why would you invite a mushroom to a house party? He’s a fun guy to be with. If you laughed at any of these jokes, you’re on a slippery slope to Dadsville.

07

Technology baffles you
Your parents didn’t grow up with computers or mobile phones. You did. And yet when you try to sync your music to iCloud, you find yourself at a dead end, despite the fact your 11-year-old nephew can manage it with his eyes shut. See also: Connecting things to Bluetooth, streaming TV shows on your computer, navigating Apple’s App Store and working out who or what a “404” is.

Look, when you’ve forked out $150 to be stood a mere bottle’s throw from your favourite band, the last thing you want is to get caught up in some sweaty moshpit, soaked to the eyeballs in other people’s salty secretions. You can’t even see the bass player from there! And don’t even get started on those people who stand up to cheer a goal at Jalan Besar Stadium. They’re just ruining the view for everyone else…

01

You look forward to not going out
The upside of a big night out is that you see your mates, have a laugh and, occasionally, chat up pretty girls. On the flipside, you’ll spend the next day battling nausea, hangover anxiety and the fact that you’ve spent all your money and there’s a week to payday. Much better to spend Saturday night making a nice rustic stew from the Gordon Ramsay cookbook and watching David Attenborough’s Galapagos. Bliss.

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WORDS: THE FHM TEAM; PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PICTURES

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You stand at the back at gigs

VOL 16 ON SALE NOW!
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STUNNING WOMEN, VERY FEW WORDS

Train Your Brain

01 Drive a Crap Car

PEP GUARDIOLA
Learn from the managerial genius who overcame lazy players and José Mourinho to win 14 titles in four seasons at Barcelona FC.

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN LIKE

Guardiola’s bonce could have ballooned when he became a Barcelona first-team regular at 20. It didn’t. “Three years later, he was still driving a second-hand Volkswagen Golf,” recalls teammate Ronald Koeman. The lesson: You’re only as good as your next appraisal; so never let a promotion or pay rise go to your head.

Guardiola didn’t deliver a team talk before Barca’s Champions League final against Manchester United in 2009. Instead, he played a video that mixed footage of his team with scenes from Gladiator. It psyched them up so much, some cried. They went out and won 2-0. The lesson: Words aren’t the only way to motivate.

05 Creative Motivation

02 Interrogate Others

Guardiola wasn’t born a master tactician. He became one by analysing his managers and probing his teammates. “Pep was always asking questions,” says Koeman. “He wanted to know everything. He had an insatiable hunger for information.” The lesson: If you don’t ask, you don’t learn,so constantly quiz your supervisors.

06 Know When to be the Bad Cop

03 Control Everything
When Guardiola was made Barca boss in 2008, he inherited a lazy squad. His solution? New tactics, tougher training and more fines for poor behaviour. “Standards had slipped,” recalls Barca midfielder, Xavier Hernández, “Pep was on everything like a hawk.” The lesson: Leave no stone unturned in your pursuit of perfection.

Prior to Barca’s 2011 Champions League semi-final with Real Madrid, Guardiola launched into an anti-Mourinho rant, calling José the “f**king man” at a press conference. His critics said he’d snapped — not so. He’d deliberately kicked off to fire up his players. That night, Lionel Messi and co gave him a standing ovation. The next night, they won 2-0. The lesson: Anger, if used properly, can be a great way of inspiring others.

07 Inspire Loyalty

04 Don’t Bow to Reputations

What do Ibrahimovic, Ronaldinho, Deco and Eto’o all have in common? Aside from being four super-talented footballers, they were all shipped out by Guardiola. Why? Their egos didn’t fit with the way he wanted to play. The lesson: Never get too big for your boots.
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08 Seek New Challenges

As ball boy-turned-club captainturned-manager, Guardiola could have stayed at the Nou Camp for life — but he resigned after four years. “You have to know when to walk,” he once stated. The lesson: Keep moving forward.

WORDS: STUART HOOD, PHOTOS: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PICTURES

People put their lives on the line for Guardiola. “If Pep told me to throw myself off the second tier of the Nou Camp, I’d think, ‘There must be something good down there,’” says Barca defender Dani Alves. The lesson: To be a successful leader, you need your team to believe in you.

Etiquette

OH, BEHAVE!

Pitch a tent

Things you should never do at a beach. Ever.

Tents are a great way to keep the flies out of your face when you’re camping out. But when you bring it to the beach with your date, it just screams that the both of you will be getting it on. Remember: If you’ve got a bed at home, use it; you wont be able to replicate the same level of comfort in your makeshift tent.

Speedos are a very tricky bit of business; they aren’t inappropriate but there are appropriate places for them. A family beach, on one hand, is not the most appropriate for a tiny Speedo. Unless you’ve got goggles on your head and are surnamed Phelps, you should not be in a Speedo. It leaves nothing to imagination and it forces people to actually imagine it in the first place.

Wear Speedos

Everyone’s done this — male, female, animals. It is, however, obvious to everyone around you when you suddenly stop your game of beach soccer and request to be excused while you take a dip. Like our encik used to say, “Want to do, go and do, just don’t get caught”

Take a piss in the sea

Ask a girl for a photo opp

WORDS: MITCHELL PEREIRA; PHOTOS: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PICTURES

Ever gone to the beach and spotted guys dressed in berms and polo tees with shoes on and a digital camera slinging from his neck? This is probably what they think: “So many bikini babes, so little memory space in the camera. Might as well rule out those who wouldn’t like to be part of my photo album by asking them directly.”

Steal her lotion

Did you forget your sun block? How are you going to keep your skin pasty and pale with all these ultra-violet rays? It’s a good thing the girl lying face down across from you has her cream and lotion strewn over the sand. You might as well “borrow” some, no need to wake her and ask. Until you realise she wasn’t actually asleep from the shout of “Help! Thief!”

Ogle indiscreetly

You’re walking along the beach looking for a place to lay your pale butt down, and you notice a stunning babe with a juicy posterior playing volleyball. She’s looking your way and waving at you! All you can think of is wave back. She runs towards you and as you’re about to say “hi”, she gets on her knees, picks up the volleyball and rejoins her friends.

Go nude

So you want to impress, and you’re in your Speedos at the beach (despite us telling you “no to Speedos”) and you decide to stuff rolls of toilet paper down the front. You imagine it’s time to speak to the ladies and bring them back to your tent. (Because that’s the kind of guy you are.) But you won’t be fooling anybody with your party trick once you enter the water.

Stuff anything down your pants

Ever hung out at the beach and everywhere you look you see penises — and everything is as normal as it should be despite the huge number of naked men walking around? No? Yeah, let’s keep it that way. You should also know that, despite your missus telling you what a wizard you are in the sack, it is not reason enough to wave your wand in public.

Fall asleep during a tan
You finally get the time to hit the sand, and all you want to do is laze under the sun and get your pale skin to turn a shade. Despite your best efforts at eyeballing the chick in the water, you soon fall asleep. You awake to find only your chest and entire frontal region charred beyond belief and the sun has gone down.
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DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE EATING?
Pony burgers had Europe fooled, but can the professionals spot the exotic meat?
Horsemeat seems to be the meat to chow down on right now, what with it recently being all over the news. But who saw it coming? Absolutely nobody, that’s who. And that’s why, with six exotic meats in tow, FHM headed down to a butcher’s in London to see if they could help us predict the next big meat to take over the world…
FAVOURITE SAUSAGE: Pork and herb.

George

Garry, 51

Sample A: Zebra He guessed: Overcooked veal “For me, this was the only edible one. It was the best of a bad bunch. I didn’t actually like any of them. They were all pretty tasteless. Revolting, even.” Would you eat it again now you know it’s zebra? “No thanks.”

Sam, 22

Terry, 47

Sample F: Squirrel He guessed: Rabbit “I thought this had the nicest flavour and the best texture. All the others were quite dry compared to this. It’s slightly gamey in taste, but not massively, so it’d be nice in a casserole.” Would you eat it again now you know it’s squirrel? “It’s squirrel? Wow, you got a big one there. They’re usually smaller than that. Yeah, I’d have it again but casserole it.”

Sample D: Crocodile He guessed: Absolutely no idea “I didn’t like it, but I didn’t spit it out like some of the other guys did. It’s tough, dry and like gristle. You’d need to cook this for a very long time to get any flavour from it. I definitely preferred the camel out of all of them.” Would you eat it again now you know it’s crocodile? “Croc or not, I’m not eating it again.”

Matt, 35

Sample C: Camel steak He guessed: Bison “This tastes just like a not-toomature, pretty decent steak. It’d be really delicious pan-fried for a couple of minutes on each side, with a bit of thyme and seasoning.” Would you eat it again now you know it’s camel? “Yeah, definitely, this is the best one.”

George, 44

Sample B: Kangaroo sausage He guessed: Boar “It tasted like a pretty good and meaty sausage. I’d hazard a guess at it being some sort of African animal, because we sell a boar sausage and it’s kind of similar.” Would you eat it again now you know it’s kangaroo? “It was my favourite of the lot, and I’ve got no problem eating a kangaroo, so yes.”
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Sample E: Python fillet He guessed: Frog “It’s really tough, so it’s hard work getting through it. It’s not that much fun to eat, really. It’s nowhere near my favourite, which was the camel. I used to butcher horses, and that’s kind of what camel tasted like — sort of sweet.” Would you eat it again now you know it’s python? “I’d cook it for a very long time if I had to eat it again.”

Manuel, 44

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PHOTOGRAPHY: SCOTT MCAULAY

Sample A ZEBRA

Sample B KANGAROO

The Big Question

FAVOURITE SAUSAGE: Boar and apple.

Terry

FAVOURITE SAUSAGE: Pork and leek.

Matt

FAVOURITE SAUSAGE: Cumberland. FAVOURITE SAUSAGE: Cumberland.

Sam

FAVOURITE SAUSAGE: Toulouse

Manuel

Garry

Sample C CAMEL

Sample D CROCODILE

Sample E PYTHON

Sample F SQUIRREL

MANY THANKS TO VINSULLIVAN.NET AND GARDEN4LESS.CO.UK FOR SUPPLYING ALL THE WEIRD AND WONDERFUL MEATS — AND MOENS OF CLAPHAM, LONDON, FOR GAMELY TRYING TO IDENTIFY THEM.

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987 RSVP Bunnies & Chocolates Party
It was the top 20 contestants’ first public appearance and what better event to make their sexy presence felt than at the Easterweekend party of Singapore’s No. 1 hit music station? Held at Dream in Clarke Quay, guests got really up close and personal with the girls, as they took part in games that involved hugging, piggybacking and jugs of beer! Nice one, 987!

Tokyo Auto Salon Singapore 2013
When hot bodies congregate under one roof, expect temperatures to soar. The FHM Models top 20 girls, along with Japanese race queens and members of popular girl-group AKB48, almost stole the show from the machines at the inaugural custom-car showcase at Marina Bay Sands.
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FHM Models 2013

FHM Models Top 10 Showcase at Bugis Junction
After weeks of sorting out the good, the average and the bad, the top 10 finalists of Singapore’s most popular girl search was unveiled. As with past years, we revealed the hotness at one of the city’s busiest mall, Bugis Junction. The fans, many of whom were decked out with their longest lenses, had a snap-happy time at the two-day weekend showcase, especially on Sunday. The reason? The girls were parading in Sloggi swimwear. Next up: The Final on 21 Jun. Flip to page 20 for more info.

fhm_pro mo@me diacorp. com.sg

Get your tickets to the Finals pa r t y ! RSV
P now at

DATE: 21 June, Friday TIME: 7pm onwards VENUE: Playhouse at #C-01-03 Clarke Quay

• Get invites to the Finals party.* • Witness the crowning of FHM ’s next cover model. • Fashion showcase by official swimwear/lingerie sponsor Triumph. • Complimentary drinks.
Terms & Conditions: Invites are on a first-come-first-serve basis. n RSVP closes on 10 June’13 n Confirmation e-mail will be send to you once we have confirmed your RSVP to the event n First 200 pax at the event will be issued complimentary drink coupons n House rules & age limit for entry into Playhouse applies n Singapore FHM reserves the right refused entry upon full capacity at the venue. n Singapore FHM reserves the right to change the date of the Finals party.

Vote for your favourite FHM Model!
http://xinmsn.com/fhmmodels2013 from 17 May to 17 June 2013.

Get intimate with the FHM Models Top10 on 987FM
Tune in to: Muttons on The Move from 20 to 23 May from 6pm. The Double Ds on 14 June from 10pm (Win VIP invites to the Finals party!)

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Printed cotton singlet, $85, by Boy London from Actually Plus.

Beat the Heat
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Feeling toasted by the scorching sun? Go sleeveless with these tank tops.

Cotton logo singlet, $35, by Nixon.

Cotton printed singlet, $19.95, by Cotton On.

Cotton singlet, $35, by Billabong.

Cotton singlet, $35, by DC.

Printed cotton singlet, $85, by Boy London from Actually Plus.

Printed cotton singlet, $17.90, by H&M Divided.

ART DIRECTION: DANNII CHOO; PHOTOGRAPHY: ROY LIM; STYLING: CHERYL CHAN

Printed cotton singlet, $39, by Billabong.

Printed cotton singlet, $17.90, by H&M Divided.

Cotton colour-block singlet, $45, by Quiksilver.
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Jump And Shout
It’s not that guys don’t enjoy shopping, but we tend to have limited options. Which explains why when we heard Hong Kong multilabel store i.t had landed on our shores, only two words came to mind — wardrobe overhaul. Stand-out brands include Izzue, Fingercroxx and 5cm, all of which carry cuttingedge menswear in various styles. We’ve never been this spoilt for choice, or quite so able to identify with how our girlfriends feel whenever they enter the mall. Exciting stuff.

OR’S EDITC PI K

Frind i.t at, #03-15 Wisma Atria.

Eye Candy Luxe Appeal
Constructed for the urban gent, the Braun Buffel Heart collection makes all the right statements. Stylish in a quiet, masculine way — as is the style ideal intended for the male of the species — you won’t find any flashy, over-the-top garishness here. What you will find however, are finely crafted key- and cardholders, billfold wallets and travel organisers. Made with buffalo-stamped leather and completed with subtle silver hardware, these little details go a long way. The way we see it, shades are essential for two things — blocking out the sun, and covering up your hangover. Currently in its 75th year of production, Polaroid’s polarised sunglasses have been protecting delicate eyes from sun damage and making people look like rockstars for a very long time. With it’s UltraSight lens technology that offers nine layers of everything from shock-absorbency and scratchresistance to polarising light-filters that block UVA, UVB and UVC light rays — when it comes to sunglasses, these guys definitely know what they’re doing.

From $89 to $279 at Braun Buffel boutiques.
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From $85 to $185 at major optical stores.

WORDS: JANINE LEE

Skull Hugger
Rock the living daylights out of that bad-hair day with these dope fivepanel caps. Sleeker and lower profile then their snapback cousins, they’re made of five pieces of fabric cut to align to the contours of your head, making for an all-around better-fitted silhouette. To sweeten the deal, they come in a plethora of funky prints from cosmic to tribal and even good ol’ fruit and veg. Yeah, you heard us; you could sport an herb garden on your head and still be the coolest kid on the block.

From $49 to $55 at Actually+, 118A Arab Street.

Sneak Attack
Embodying everything awesome about Scandinavian design, Swedish atelier V Ave Shoe Repair presents these seriously sweet kicks that will make your fancy feet even fancier. Featuring three-strap velcro fastening, engraved rubber soles and an all-over funky print in nylon and suede, these eclectic sneakers will take you from the streets to the dance floor and back — upping your style quotient by 200 points in the process.

$679 at V Ave Shoe Repair, #02-13, Hilton Shopping Gallery.

Short Story
Given the stifling hot weather, it’s pretty much berm season all year round; why not embrace the opportunity to show off your calves? Celio’s summer collection of shorts are available in a neutral colour palette ranging from khaki to grey to black, making them idiot-proof when it comes to matching pieces. Throw on a striped tee, patterned polo or even a hoodie and you’re good to go.

From $63 at Celio stores.

Tough Nut All Hands on Deck
Traverse the high seas with American brand Nautica’s 30th anniversary collection. A tribute to its seafaring heritage, the Newport collection features tees, shirts and pants in navy, red and white. Understatedly sophisticated and crafted with quality materials, kit yourself out in these threads for some effortless style — even if you don’t own a yacht. We love a good pair of boots because they look cool, are durable and they kick our fickle weather’s (one minute drought, next minute monsoon). Enter Red Wing Shoes, a name so synonymous with bootmaking that you can’t say it without stomping hard on something. These round-toe work oxfords are testament to that spirit, featuring the ever-comfortable cushion crepe sole, heel back-stitching and leather lining. Best part is, you could totally get away with wearing these to work.

From Nautica boutique, #04-45 Paragon Shopping Centre.

From Red Wing store, #02-070 Suntec City and Leftfoot stores.
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How do my cuffed-up pants look?

HER ION! OPIN

JESS, 19

“It’s got a bit of an ’80s vibe to it. If you want to wear pants that length, why not just wear three-quarter pants instead of rolling the cuff?”

HUIMIN, 18

“It works for normal pants but please don’t do this for skinny jeans, it would be really unflattering. And it also won’t work if his legs are too skinny.”

(She’ll let you know…)
Does it say cool, casual and relaxed or “I can’t decide which length my pants should be?” We let the ladies tell you.
ESTHER, 28 LISHIA, 23

“I hate this look! Why are you showing off your ankles? Pants should cover the entire leg and if not, you should be wearing berms. Not in-between.”

“I think it’s quite nice and stylish, I wouldn’t mind my boyfriend wearing his pants like that.”

ELISHA, 25

“It doesn’t work for most guys; looks a bit effeminate at times. It would be okay for more casual outfits; the top needs to match the overall look.”

JEAN, 24

“It’s a more special way of wearing pants. I like that the guy is daring enough to change things up a little and take risks with his dressing.”
INTERVIEW & PHOTOGRAPHY: JANINE LEE; MODEL PHOTO: ROY LIM

ELLA, 22

“It’s a cool look and also very trendy. I think it looks good on guys; beats the normal way of dressing.”
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LEAH, 24

“Other than a functional purpose, like preventing the pants from getting wet, it’s silly to roll it up. Fashion trend? Weird and unmanly.”

To register, visit MEclub.com.sg today. Download the MEclub App at Google Play and iPhone Store: Like us on www.facebook.com/MEclub.com.sg

Kings of Clarity
New grooming items to protect, treat and improve your poker face.
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1)SK-II Men Facial Treatment Essence, 75ml, $99 A non-sticky essence that glides on skin like water and contains a cooling agent that calms and smoothens. Tightening skin and reducing unevenness, this brightens and improves your complexion with regular use.
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WORDS: JANINE LEE; ART DIRECTION: PYRON TAN; PHOTOGRAPHY: ROY LIM

2)Physiogel Hypoallergenic Cream, 75ml, $23 Formulated to work with dehydrated and sensitive skin, this fragrance-free cream locks in moisture for up to three days and guarantees longlasting hydration.

3)Lierac Homme AntiIrritation Shaving Foam, 150ml, $28 Hate razor burn and irritation from shaving? This foam infused with peppermint protects skin and soothes by reducing friction and redness, while providing a cooling sensation that lasts well after your shave.

4)B.liv Shield Me Moisturizing Sunblock, 45ml, $45 We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again — the sun is the biggest culprit causing damaged skin. This quickabsorbing sunblock not only protects from UVA and UVB rays, it also hydrates and repairs damaged skin.

5)Le Petit Olivier Pure Argan Oil, 50ml, $58 100 per cent pure, organic and natural, argan oil contains essential fatty acids that combat skin ageing. Apply a few drops and massage into cleansed skin. A multi purpose product, it can also be used to revitalise and restore dull, dry hair.

Scent-sual Pleasures

Gauri Garodia, founder and creative director of artisanal perfumery Code Deco, breaks down the art of fragrances for us and tells us how to select that perfect scent.

What is artisanal perfume? Commercial perfume has to appeal to the masses, from consumers in China to Latin America. It’s created for maximum impact; within five to 10 seconds, it needs to make a big impression. That might be enjoyable for a lot of people, but it’s not very personal because, at some level, you’re already stripping it of distinctiveness or individuality. Artisanal perfumes stem from more original concepts; out of a collection of 12, half will do nothing for you. But there will be a few that really connect much more than a commercial perfume. When that happens, you feel a mood transformation. There are some perfumes that sparkle on you and make you feel happier. When choosing perfume for a girl, should a guy pick something he or she likes? Sometimes I dress to please myself, but there are days I wear something I know my husband likes. The tricky part is until you smell the fragrance, you won’t know if she likes it or

not. Code Deco has an online chart that categorises our fragrances according to moods or feelings. Whether it’s sheer, sparkling, warm or dark. This is especially handy when selecting perfumes, as you’ll know what type of person your partner is and what she likes. Is it unmanly to buy another guy fragrance? That’s usually left to their girlfriends to do! When women shop, they tend to think of everyone. I’d see something and think, “Those shoes would be nice for my mum”, or “That tie would suit my husband.” But men don’t shop that way. They go to a store, get what they need and come out. They’re not going to think of gifts. But it’s a sensible gift, of course; it would be a good idea only if your male friend has odour issues! What’s a nice way to tell a girl she needs to put on perfume? As a gift and choosing some of the fresher themes that smell clean. It’s one of the things I thought about when creating the sheer and sparkling collections because,

“[For men] Buying your guy friend fragrance would be a good idea only if he has odour issues. Leave it to their girlfriends to do that.”

honestly, Singapore is so humid. No matter how nicely dressed and groomed you are, by midday, you’d start feeling conscious about how you smell. Those fragrances are designed to give off a clean, crisp smell all day. Which scent do ladies find most attractive on guys? The preferences are driven by a few things, such as conditioning — your background, where you grew up, things that make you nostalgic or give you happy memories. Culture is another — where you live, what the weather is like. If it were snowing now, you’d prefer a warmer fragrance because that’s a biological response to your surroundings. In my experience, Caucasians and Northern European women tend to prefer the drier notes in perfumes that exude a lot of warmth; a woman in Asia would tend towards cooler, crisper notes. Constraints aside, what ingredients would you use to make the ultimate perfume? Perfumery has a palette of about 3,000 materials; the options are infinite. When creating a perfume, I’m like a greedy child, so I have to hold back and keep focused. Every time one of my fragrances reaches the point where I imagined it to be, where I smell it and think it’s perfect, I need to tell myself to stop adding things to it. That for me becomes my ultimate perfume, at least for that day, week or month. Right now, I’d like to capture the sense of monsoon — the smell of earth, water and leaves. It’s not an identifiable smell; it’s the smell of a mood. That’s my next goal.

Visit www.codedeco.com.sg for more information and Code Deco’s range of artisanal perfumes.

WORDS: JANINE LEE

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Art direction: Dannii Choo Photography: Roy Lim Styling: Sharon B Tan

B o a rd a nd Alo ne
Even when you’re in a contemplative mood, there is no reason why you should ignore style.

FA S H I O N
Jacket, by Adidas. Printed shorts, by A|X Armani Exchange. Shoes, by Converse. Photography assistance: Darren Kuah; Styling assistance: Dennis Villareal; Grooming: Sha Shamsi/9628-7035; Model: Benjamin/ Looque Models

FA S H I O N

Denim polo tee and shoes, both by Fred Perry. Striped denim shorts, by A|X Armani Exchange. Opposite: Jacket, by Adidas. Printed shortsleeved collared shirt, by Topman. Shorts, by Calvin Klein Jeans. Shoes, by H&M.

FA S H I O N
Jacket, by Topman. Printed short-sleeved shirt, by Adidas. Shorts, by G-Star. Studded sneakers, by Converse.

FA S H I O N
Hooded jacket, by A|X Armani Exchange. Slim-fit pants, by Calvin Klein Jeans. Shoes, by Converse. Opposite: Printed jacket, by H&M. Distressed T-shirt, by Calvin Klein Jeans. Belt, by Fred Perry. Shorts, by Topman. Shoes, by Adidas.

Active Hands
Hey, jock. These ones are for you.

OR’S EDIT CE CHOI

Doesn’t mind getting roughed up in wet environments. Claude Bernard Aquarider (10202 3 BUIN), $749, Tangs, Robinsons The Centrepoint, OG Orchard Point and authorised retailers.

Gets you very deep underwater. Ball Engineer Hydrocarbon NEDU, $5,700, authorised retailers.

A yellow hand here, a red arrow there — sports with a trendy twist. Timex Men’s Fashion (T2P041), $199, selected Royal Sporting House stores.

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WORDS: DENNIS YIN

The toughest SOB in the watch world. Reactor Neutron, $834, Reactor boutique at Plaza Singapura.

Put vigour on your wrists. Gc Homme (X95004G4S), $1,048, Gc boutique at Marina Square and authorised retailers.

The time is clear with a luminous dial and bold markers. Nautica NMX 601, $299, Tangs and Nautica boutiques.

Half Time

Another half-dozen new timepieces for your choosing.

OR’S EDIT CE CHOI

Play with colours. Nixon Dip-Dye Collection, $115, Nixon store at Ion Orchard, Tangs, Robinsons The Centrepoint and The Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands, and authorised retailers.

Make ’em green with envy. Tsovet Aviation Collection (SVT-FW44), $565, Robinsons The Centrepoint and The Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands and Tangs VivoCity.

You wouldn’t mind being seen in this camouflage. Adidas Camo Collection — Stockholm (ADH2813), $215, Robinsons The Centrepoint.

Classy without the inflated price tag. Arbutus Open Heart, $375, Tangs, OG Orchard Point, Robinsons The Centrepoint, Mustafa Centre and authorised retailers.

Designer face. Issey Miyake Twelve by Naoto Fukasawa (SILAP020), $588, Isetan Scotts, Robinsons The Centrepoint and The Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands, Tangs, Front Row at Raffles Hotel and Moments by City Chain at Ion Orchard.

Black gold. Swatch Irony Chrono (YCB4021), $230, Swatch stores.

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Disentangle your listening experience.

Wireless Audio Blast
Why’s it good? A neat clip-on Bluetooth headset that lets you toggle between music and phone calls when on the run. Besides handiness, the digital-audio quality is ace, too. Gimme: $88; Stereo Electronics, selected Challenger stores, Apple premium resellers EpiCentre, Nubox and authorised retailers.

Jabra Play

Why’s it good? The portable Bluetooth speaker comes with a bike mount for those lonely rides along Punggol Waterway. Can even be mounted on a stroller, so you can groove to Psy while carrying out fatherly duties. Gimme: $219; Robinsons The Centrepoint and Raffles City, Isetan Scotts and Tampines, Tangs Orchard, HMV, TwoBros Lifestyle & Gadget Store, Nimbus@Wheelock and LifeCycle.

NYNE NB-200

Why’s it good? Wireless and wired connectivity; custom-tuned, down-firing sub-woofer; and effective sonic directivity — all for only a two-figure price tag. Gimme: $79; sg.store.creative.com and authorised retailers.

Creative T3150 Wireless 2.1 Speaker System

Why’s it good? Super-convenient, super-tiny (6 x 5.7 cm), this cylindrical Bluetooth speaker with MicroSD, built-in microphone and FM radio playback, lets you bring your music wherever you go — even to the gents. Gimme: $129; Tangs Orchard, HMV and authorised retailers.

Nakamichi NBS2

Why’s it good? Enjoy room-filling cinema sound without room-filling clutter, thanks to its wireless feature. Powered by Sony’s proprietary S-Force PRO Front Surround technology, this powerhouse has just two front speakers in a single bar, plus a dynamic sub-woofer, to create multi-dimensional audio output. Gimme: $449; Sony stores and authorised retailers.
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Sony HT-CT260 Surround Sound Bar

Tech Improve

Better your life with this new hardware.

Why’s it good? The smart system not only makes hot beverages such as coffee, tea and chocolate, but also iced peach tea and iced cappuccino. Best of all? It doubles as an ornamental piece with its duck-like design. Gimme: $279; authorised retailers.

Nescafe Dolce Gusto Melody

Why’s it good? The 20.3-megapixel camera is a fast image recorder (Hybrid Auto Focus system, 1/6000 sec shutter speed and 8.6fps continuous shooting mode) with an even faster sharing capability via Wi-Fi. Best of all? The Samsung 45mm 2D/3D lens (sold separately) is the world’s first one-lens 3D system that captures still images and HD movies in “perfect” 3D quality. Gimme: $999, $649 (45mm 2D/3D lens); authorised retailers.

Samsung NX300

Why’s it good? The shockproof silicone case features a built-in 1,500mAh lithium polymer battery that extends battery life by 70 per cent. Best of all? It’s is the thinnest design to date, adding only 0.3 inches to your bulk. Gimme: $109.90; EpiCentre, Challenger, Gain City, Newstead, Nubox, Infinite, Gadget World, Harvey Norman and Mustafa.

PowerSkin for iPhone 5

Why’s it good? Convenience at your finger tips with web access and wireless/mobile printing options. Best of all? Enhanced features such as a front USB port lets you charge mobile devices without having to shift the printer around. Gimme: $399; authorised retailers.

HP Envy120 e-All-in-One Printer

NICE FLAT

Why’s it good? Stylishly designed with strong-yet-light magnesium alloy casing, built-in kickstand, USB port and microSDXC card slot, nicely sized 10.6-inch Gorilla Glass 2-encased touchscreen and detachable keyboard-like Touch Cover. Best of all? It offers laptop capabilities with pre-installed Microsoft Office Home & Student 2013 RT. Gimme: From $668; Challenger.
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Microsoft Surface RT

WORDS: DENNIS YIN

First-class axe man.

Aircraft Rescue Fire Officer
Battling runway infernos and saving lives — it’s all in a day’s work for senior airport emergency service (AES) officer Yeo Kian Min.
Has it always been your dream to be a firefighter? It started during my university days in the UK. I was cooking on campus and activated the fire alarm by accident. Fire engines came and they looked really cool. That got me interested. Also, in the West, it’s a very challenging job. The selection process is very difficult; even Olympic-standard athletes have been known to struggle with it. I’m very active and like to challenge myself. How does being an airport firefighter differ from a regular firefighter? Both disciplines have their challenges, but I’d say for an airport firefighter, the response time is of paramount importance. We need to get into the vehicle and be out of the station in 15 seconds, as opposed to my SCDF days where we could take up to one minute. There are also limited resources with the type of fire engines we use at the airport, and getting water from hydrants is not immediate. An aircraft blaze is also a lot hotter compared to a building blaze due to the high temperature of jet fuel. Plus, we don’t use the fireman pole at the airport; all personnel are stationed on the ground floor. Ever had any doubts about your job? Yes, sometimes. We always train ourselves for the worst-case scenario but, most times, we attend to minor incidents. So it’s a bit of a letdown in that sense. But it’s also a good thing if we don’t get major calls because that would have meant an incident where a lot of lives would be at stake. What was your most memorable call? Airport fires are generally quite small and aircraft incidents have been handled pretty smoothly so far. However, there was a nonaircraft-related incident that was quite interesting. A foreigner managed to get on an inaccessible ledge in the airport and threatened to jump. The technicalities were straightforward: The crew went in and the supervisor talked him into coming down. The interesting bit was how did he get there in the first place? He actually crawled through the false ceiling and climbed the pipes to reach the ledge. What’s the usual reaction you get when you tell people what you do? In Asian society, there’s not much status in being a firefighter; people just see it as a normal job and tend to think all firefighting duties are handled by the Civil Defence. But when I go overseas to visit friends, they’re pretty impressed because they respect firefighters more. There was also once I went on a fire-station exchange programme and showed my overseas peers a way of going down the pole — Singapore-style with only one arm. They were impressed. I think there’s a similar move in pole dancing. What goes through your mind during those critical few moments before you engage a blaze? There are two emotions that you face when you respond to a fire: Fear and anxiety. The most important thing is to control them and they’d work to your advantage. People tend to perform better during instances of fear and anxiety, but they need to be controlled. Like fire, you can use it to cook, but if you lose control, it’ll burn your house down. nothing; that we hardly get calls and have no work. But that’s not the case. There are a lot of training and drills and, at the higher levels, we have different meetings to attend. We also participate in exchange programmes; visiting other airports to learn what other AES officers do and exchange ideas with them. We also check out the latest in firefighting technology, such as the newest vehicles and techniques. More importantly, we have to get the feel of the industry’s best practices, so that we’re in line with what’s going on in the world. What essential traits does one have to

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Is it an occupational hazard to put the lives of others before your own? “Of course, but it doesn’t bother me. It’s part of the job; kind of like making a deal with the devil. In order to take a civilian out of danger, I have to switch places with him. But it comes naturally after all the training.”
possess to do what you do? Firstly, you need to have integrity; knowing to do what is right. You must also be flexible because situations on the fire ground are constantly changing and you have to adapt. Dedication is one of the most important traits about this job. Even after hours, I’m on call round the clock. You also need to have a high level of tolerance because these types of situations can stretch on for days. After the fire is put out, there are implications on airport operations, so the job doesn’t just end at the fire. What’s something cool you get to do as an airport firefighter? I get to perform high-storey, dangerous manoeuvres such as rappelling, as well as handling equipment used in height rescues. It’s like being Spiderman. The aircraft is of a certain height, so our vehicles have ladders that extend all the way (about four storeys high) to the top of the plane. And the most rewarding thing about your job? Just being the unassuming and unsung hero during and after the emergency. What would you say to someone who was playing with fire? I’d borrow a quote from American humourist Jack Handey: “If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror. Because I bet that’s what really throws you into a panic.”
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Which is more important: The ability to solve problems or the ability to numb your emotions? A mixture of both. During such dynamic situations, split-second decisions have to be made to solve the problem under extreme pressure. However, emotions have to be numbed in order to make rational decisions. How do you feel when you spot smokers who don’t stub out their cigarettes properly? The only thing I feel is a tinge of sadness for the environment. Because when you smoke, about 4,000 types of chemicals are being released into the environment. From the firesigns perspective, if a butt is not stubbed out properly, it can smoulder for up to three hours. And if it goes unnoticed, that’s how it develops into a full-grown fire. Would you rather wear your bunker gear 24/7 for a week, or live in a desert for six months? I’d rather live in the desert for half a year because at least there are fluctuations in the weather. But the bunker suit remains forever the same temperature; it’s really hot. People have actually gotten heatstroke from wearing it for too long. What do your loved ones feel about your job? My parents have this impression that firefighters just stay in the station and do

WORDS: JANINE LEE; ART DIRECTION: PYRON TAN; PHOTOGRAPHY: HONG CHEE YAN

All lingerie, by Triumph. Left (Cara Ng): Knit crochet cardigan, by New Look. Right (Ophelia Wan): Cotton T-shirt, by Forever 21. Art direction assistance: Dannii Choo; Photography assistance: Alfie Pan; Hair: Peter Lee/Hairloom using Goldwell; Makeup: Venetia Stravens/9838-7087, using Nars.

Words: Janine Lee Art direction: Tony Law Photography: Joel Low Styling: Cheryl Chan

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Beaut y Ro
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FHM Models 2013 top 10 finalists gear up to win.

F

orget everything you know about beauty pageants and model contests, because the only one worth paying any attention to is finally here. That’s right, guys, it’s that glorious time of the year again where we reveal the top 10 FHM Models finalists. The nation’s sexiest girls are ready to rumble. Get to know them, pick a favourite or three, and enjoy the show.

yale

Left (Michelle Tan): Crochet cardigan, by New Look. Socks, stylist’s own. Right (Elizabeth Roquita): Oversized cotton tank top, by Cotton On Body. Opposite, left (Mel Tan): Cropped tank top, stylist’s own. Right: (Rena Neo): Acrylic knit cardigan, by New Look. Socks, stylist’s own.

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Left (Esther Lee) & right (Gaby Tan): Acrylic knit cardigans, both by New Look. Socks, stylist’s own. Opposite, left (Cynthia Kuang): Cotton henley, by Cotton On Body. Right (Anna Huang): Knit crochet shrug, by New Look.

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All swimwear, by Triumph. All leather peep-toe heels, by Charles & Keith.

GABY TAN
19, makeup student
If the world froze for a day and no one could see what you did, you would… Take all the food supplies from supermarkets in South Korea and deliver them to the people of North Korea. What would make you more nervous: A promising first date or an important interview? An important interview. The date is already promising so I’d look forward to it rather than get nervous. A lifetime supply of your favourite snack or a 30-minute orgasm? A 30-minute tongue orgasm. By that I mean food so heavenly it’s an orgasm for the tongue! What do you look for in a guy? He has to be sincere, mature and capable. You’ve come to the end of a pretty good first date when the guy suddenly says, “I think I love you.” What would be your immediate reaction? I’d smile politely and say goodbye, while freaking out inside.

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CARA NG
20, student
If the world froze for a day and no one could see what you did, you would… Find a white horse and ride it all over the city. What is your secret talent? Designing and making small gifts. I’m good at crafts. What would make you more nervous: A promising first date or an important interview? The interview because I would need to be able to perform well at all times. What’s one thing you cannot say no to? Partying and having an awesome time. What do you look for in a guy? I like guys who are faithful, humorous and caring. You’ve come to the end of a pretty good first date when the guy suddenly says, “I think I love you.” What would be your immediate reaction? I would be quite astonished as it’s difficult to love someone so easily.

OPHELIA WAN
24, executive
If the world froze for an afternoon and no one could see what I did, I would… Go on a crazy shopping spree. What is your secret talent? It has yet to be discovered. If we went through your personal belongings, what would we be shocked to find? Nothing. I’m a transparent person, I have nothing to hide. What’s one thing you cannot say no to? Floral prints and colourful dresses. A lifetime supply of your favourite snack or a 30-minute orgasm? A lifetime supply of chocolate sounds too good to pass up. What do you look for in a guy? My ideal man would be romantic, confident and caring. You’ve come to the end of a pretty good first date when the guy suddenly says, “I think I love you.” What would be your immediate reaction? I would be surprised but also very happy.

ESTHER LEE
19, student
If the world froze for a day and no one could see what you did, you would… Take money from the bank and give it to the poor, disabled and elderly. What do you think about before you fall asleep at night? The decisions I’ve made and how my life might have changed if I’d chosen a different path. If we went through your personal belongings, what would we be shocked to find? I keep random things like an unused instant teabag that has been lying around my room for a few years now. Who would you like to have a drink with? My father as I’ve never met him. What do you look for in a guy? Neat hair, filial piety and a good sense of dressing. You’ve come to the end of a pretty good first date when the guy suddenly says, “I think I love you.” What would be your immediate reaction? I’d be shocked because you shouldn’t say those words just like that.

CYNTHIA KUANG

19, freelance model
What do you think about before you fall asleep at night? How to improve myself more. It’s probably got something to do with my horoscope; I’m a Leo and yearn for perfection. What would make you more nervous: A promising first date or an important interview? The interview. I’m someone who values my career more than love, and I don’t intend to get married anytime before 28. Who would you like to have a drink with? Professor Gabriel Owen Emerson, Christian Grey, Gideon Cross and Travis Maddox. Go through my book collection and you’ll understand. A lifetime supply of your favourite snack or a 30-minute orgasm? The latter sounds better than food — sex over snacks, man! What do you look for in a guy? He must be financially independent, charismatic and good in bed.

MEL TAN
28, office admin
If the world froze for a day and no one could see what you did, you would… Do naked things in public like swim, run and kiss my crush! What is your secret talent? Pole dancing. Who would you like to have a drink with? Can I say Barbie? I used to play with the doll when I was a kid and she’s not a real person so it’d be a fun experience. A lifetime supply of your favourite snack food or a 30-minute orgasm? The 30-minute orgasm because it would be a crazy experience! What do you look for in a guy? Humour, kindness and maturity. You’ve come to the end of a pretty good first date when the guy suddenly says, “I think I love you.” What would be your immediate reaction? Flattered but suspicious. I would much rather he says it after we have known each other for a longer period of time.

MICHELLE TAN
20, student
If the world froze for a day and no one could see what you did, you would… I would go shopping wearing my favourite lingerie; that has always been a fantasy of mine! What do you think about before you fall asleep at night? I apply the law of attraction and think about Victoria’s Secret models, hoping I’ll look like them one day. What is your secret talent? I dance quite well. What would make you more nervous: A promising first date or an important interview? There’s no need to make a huge impression on a first date. Just be yourself. You wouldn’t want him to fall for a side of you that’s trying too hard, anyway. What’s one thing you cannot say no to? Sexy lingerie. What do you look for in a guy? Intellect, humour and a decent build — he can’t be too skinny.

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ANNA HUANG
21, freelance dancer
If the world froze for a day and no one could see what you did, you would… Visit all the restricted areas in Singapore like an army base or the tiger enclosure at the zoo. If we went through your personal belongings, what would we be shocked to find? I don’t own any shocking belongings, but you’d find some unknown body piercings on me. Who would you like to have a drink with? I’d love to meet Thor — he’s the hottest demi-god around. What’s one thing you cannot say no to? I could never say no to the person I love. What do you look for in a guy? Intelligence, height (at least 1.8m) and a nice body. You’ve come to the end of a pretty good first date when the guy suddenly says, “I think I love you.” What would be your immediate reaction? I would laugh my a** off first, then I would tell him that “love” is a very strong word.

ELIZABETH ROQUITA
18, student
If the world froze for a day and no one could see what you did, you would… Use a marker and go around drawing on people’s faces! What is your secret talent? I sing and longboard. I might look like the type who just hangs out with friends and shops, but I’m actually an adventurous girl. What would make you more nervous: A promising first date or an important interview? The interview; it could determine my future. The guy on the date would just have to accept me for the girl I am. What do you look for in a guy? He should be understanding, trustworthy and decent looking. You’ve come to the end of a pretty good first date when the guy suddenty says, “I think I love you.” What’s your immediate reaction? I’d be shocked because it’s a bit too fast. It takes time to love a person and he’s probably just in love with the moment, not me.

RENA NEO
22, student
If the world froze for an afternoon and no one could see what I did, I would… Run around naked! What is the last thing you think about before you fall asleep at night? My plans for the next day. What is your secret talent? I am a sparring gold-medallist in tae kwon do. Name one person you’d love to have a drink with? Emma Watson because she’s really hot and I admire her a lot. What’s one thing you cannot say no to? Exciting and extreme sports like skydiving. I’m quite the adrenaline junkie. What do you look for in a guy? He has to be affectionate, ambitious and diligent. You’ve come to the end of a pretty good first date when the guy suddenly says, “I think I love you.” What’s your immediate reaction? I’d give him a peck on the cheek but that’s about it.

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Words: FHM UK

nos bue aires

PHOTO: CORBIS

kay, we’re starting with a flash one. But think of it this way — for the price of a flight to New York, you get to visit a city where you can experience the best match-day atmosphere in the world. The Superclásico, Boca Juniors vs

O

FOOTBALL MECCA
River Plate, is a derby so spicy it makes Manchester United vs Manchester City look like a your local five-a-side fixture. Plus, once you’ve flown to Argentina, everything’s dirt cheap and the women are so beautiful you’ll wonder why Lionel Messi left.

S U M M E R H O L I D AY

IBIZA CLUBS MUST VISIT As chosen by Ben
Murphy, editor of DJ Mag.

less a holiday...

IBIZA

...more a pilgrimage

GALA NIGHT Benimussa Hills This abandoned zoo may have long since moved its animals, but party-goers who turn up for Gala’s unhinged raves are just as ferocious and untamed. Clubbers get to let loose in the “seal pit” (and other animal enclosures) to a soundtrack of debauched techno and house. UNDERGROUND San Rafael Underground is the epitome of low-key cool — where those in the know go to escape the big spectacle and more commercial vibe found in the franchises. Attracting hip names from house and techno (plus the occasional DJ superstar going incognito,) the club is a former villa with the walls knocked through. USHUAIA Playa D’en Bossa When money is no object, this swish five-star beach hotel is your No 1 destination. With pools, a huge stage, mind-boggling sound and outdoor dancing, not to mention cocktail bars, restaurants and a spa (if you’re into that sort of thing), Ushuaia regularly hosts super-stars like David Guetta and Sasha. SANKEYS IBIZA Playa D’en Bossa A club for connoisseurs, the vibe is low-lit, with killer sound, the best DJs (like Hamburg’s so-hot-rightnow Solomun) and an attitude that’s more “anything goes” than “your name’s not on the list, you’re not coming in”. AMNESIA San Rafael Still one of the most spectacular joints on the island, this ginormous pleasure palace, complete with freezy ice cannons, puts on nights that are regularly ram-jammed to bursting. Its Cocoon nights, hosted by techno’s arch-hedonist Sven Väth, are an institution. It gets insanely busy, mind, so make sure you get your tickets in advance.
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he journey to the legendary White Island is an essential rite-of-passage that every European bloke must undergo. You, too, can be a part of this hedonistic affair. First up: The boozy lunacy of San Antonio is all well and good but make time for a trip across the island to Ibiza Town (a cab is $40). Less lairy and expensive than San Antonio, the cobbled streets of Ibiza Town are the place for fresh-outthe-water seafood and Instagramworthy views across the harbour. But don’t imagine that it’s just San Antonio’s sleepy cousin: As the sun sets, the bars buzz with

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swarms of tanned Euro-fitties, while super-clubs El Divino and Pacha — the places that made the Swedish House Mafia the legend it is — are both located there. If you’re a beach lover — and/or a fan of Italian models in barely-there bikinis — then escape the hordes of hangover victims turning lobster-red on the beaches of San Antonio and head instead to Las Salinas Beach. Surrounded by pine woods, with white sand and crystal-clear waters perfect for body-surfing, it’s a magnet for millionaire footballers and eye-popping Wag types. The bars and restaurants dotted along

Las Salinas ain’t cheap, but you won’t find a more “this is the life” spot on the whole island. If there are four or more of you going, then sharing a villa can work out cheaper than hotel rooms. You can get a decent villa (with a pool!) that sleeps eight for $2,700 a week — that’s about $338 each. Although you won’t be bang in the centre of either San Antonio or Ibiza Town, you’ll have somewhere to chill during down-time — without the wallet-strangling expense of sitting outside a bar. And on top of that, it gives you a place to impress girls with messy, post-club parties.

Without the crappy bits

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magine Spain right now in your head. You’re not thinking of Madrid’s squares, probably even not Barcelona’s Las Ramblas. You’re picturing Andalucía, a land of bull fighting, scorched beaches and truly awesome ham sandwiches. For some serious adventure without the serious price tag (or dysentery/malaria pills/kidnap ordeals) simply grab a cheap flight to Malaga (a hugely underrated city, you won’t believe it isn’t more popular) then — like the locals — go with flow. Seriously, no need to book ahead, just take the bus (or hire a car for real freedom) and find your own Spain. You want epic mountain trails and pant-soiling ravines? Head an hour north to El Chorro. Fancy a romantic city by the sea and off the tourist track? You need Cadiz. Kite surfing? Tarifa. Chilled-out beach scene? Take your pick of anywhere on the coast from Nerja on. Good food (and by that we mean, basically, loads of meat) and bars you can spend all day? Everywhere. Rooms From $38 a night — look for pensions for the best deals. Drink Sherry (It’s made here and cheaper than chips). Ghoulish tourist attraction Ronda’s bridge — people were chucked off this during the Spanish Civil war.

WELCOME TO THE HOME OF SAMBUCA

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o this is the plan: Do everything you usually do on holiday — ride banana boats, down shots, dance on bars, eat plates of meat — but mix it in with some culture. There is no better place to do this than Bodrum in Turkey, home to a Marbella-esque marina, a 15th century castle (think King’s Landing in Game of Thrones) and, best of all, Halikarnas, a 5,000-capacity outdoor club, which attracts all the world’s top DJs, possesses a has-to-beheard-to-be-believed sound system, looks over the Mediterranean coast, and fires lasers so powerful they can be seen in Greece. Must-lie-on beaches include Bitez, which is the resort’s most
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picturesque strip of sand, and Gumbet, where you can hire everything from a canoe to a catamaran via a jet ski. For clubs, look no further than the floating Marine Club Catamaran, which sets sail at 1.30am and docks three hours later. What happens in between? Simple. Over 1,500 revellers go mental. Time to go June-August Rooms From $22 per person per night (triple rooms offer the best value). Drink Whatever you like, it’s always happy hour somewhere. Cultural kick Mausoleum of Halicarnassus. There’s not much left, but this giant structure (built in 353BC) was one of the seven wonders of the ancient world.

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A I R A G BUL
THE LOW-COST LONG-HAUL LOVE-FEST

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he bad news is, you’re right. Your girlfriend is indeed itching to be whisked away to a romantic beach where the sun always shines. The good news is it doesn’t have to cost you six months’ wages and several vital organs. The laidback, 65-mile long Indian coastal stretch known as Goa might be a pain to get to but once you reach it, everything’s cheap. Cool accommodation in the North includes 17thcentury fort-turned hotel Fort Tiracol, but we’d advise heading south and bagging a beach hut in Palolem. This allows you to mix “beach” days — sunbathing, massages, nights out and rampant sex in your beach hut — with “active” days — watersports, sightseeing, nights out and rampant sex in your beach hut. On your sand-based days, snack on fresh pineapple, then dine in shore-side restaurants where the fish is so fresh you see it coming out of the ocean. If that gets a bit samey, dive or snorkel, before jumping on your scooter (by far the best way to get around) and taking some kick-ass photos of you and your good lady exploring places like the grand cathedral in old Goa and colonial mansion Chandor. Time to go November-February Rooms Beach huts start at $10 per night. Drink Feni, the trademark local booze made from cashew apples or coconut sap. Attenborough alert Goa’s Cambarjua Cana, where you can see crocodiles in the wilderness.

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SUNNY BEACH
In and around Flower Street (the only road with a name) are dozens of bars, such as Den Glade Viking (“the only place where dancing naked on the bar is allowed”) and the thumping Disco Orange, which hosts club nights by Twice As Nice and Hed Kandi. Beers start at $2 (24-hour happy hours aren’t rare) and most bars don’t shut until the last rakia (local alcoholic beverage) is downed at sunrise. As far as sun (and booze) drenched paradises go, this one’s hard to beat. Rooms From $40 a night. Drink Zagorka (local beer) and rakia (strength varies significantly). Questionable but awesome Aqua Paradise, an aqua park you can bring booze into.
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ometimes all you really want out of a holiday is a sun tan, a huge amount of booze and to get luckier than a doublelottery-winning lightning-strike survivor. If that’s you, then Bulgaria’s Sunny Beach will more than fit the bill. You can forget those Spanish beaches that get busier than Westfield Shopping Centre — on this five-mile stretch of golden sand (more Baywatch than Bulgaria) you can go all out and not have to worry about money. Think Lidl-brand Dubai for the main resort (in the best possible way) with new, posh hotels lining the beach that won’t break the bank. The turbocharged nightlife, which is a favourite with hot Scandinavian women, has its sights on the Balearics, already coaxing superstar DJ Carl Cox to the decks.

t us, t ru s ll you’n a t h tk er us la

ISLANDS

HOP ON
hen you’re brainstorming potential holiday destinations down the pub, Croatia probably doesn’t spring to mind. But this small south-European country is well worth sticking on your holiday wish-list if you want the sunshine, nightlife and lush landscapes of Mediterranean holiday spots such as Ibiza, but at a less walletcrushing price. It’s the clubs and dance-music festivals springing up along Croatia’s sandy coastline that are making it the new “best-kept secret” among party-monsters across Europe (particularly Germany, for some reason). Your most solid festival-going bet is Electric Elephant, which this year runs from 11-15 July, in Tisno, with tickets at $210 a pop. Held in an amazing, totally secluded sandy bay, Electric Elephant is five-near-perfect days of sun, sea, world-class DJs and demented boat parties aboard the aptly-named “Argonaughty”. And no trenchfoot — guaranteed. In terms of clubs, we’d recommend getting your dancing flip-flops down to Club Porat,
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located near Pirovac: A huge, completely openair club that attracts world-class house and techno DJs, it’s well worth paying a visit if the idea of dancing under moonlight, among trees, with hundreds of fit Euro girls appeals to you (and if it doesn’t then you might be dead inside). Cheeky tip: Club Porat covers such a large area — some 9,000sq m — that it’s incredibly easy to find a gap in its not-veryeffective outer wall and simply hop in for free. Oops! There’s more to Croatia than boobs jiggling to beats, though. The country has more than a thousand islands dotted along its coastline — quickly and cheaply accessible by water-taxi — and with only 66 of those islands inhabited, there’s plenty of exploring to be done and secluded paradises to uncover. Mljet is the island to head to for unspoilt nature; Pag is a party island, hosting the likes of Tiesto and Armand van Helden; and Rab is worth a visit if you fancy giving nudism a go. Just don’t forget your factor 30 — there are few things more sore than burnt buttocks…

HVAR Populated with cocktail bars, lush gardens and European celebs, Hvar is as snazzy as islands get but you and your girlfriend can still rent a bungalow on the paradise-like Palmažina beach for less than $95 a night. BRAC Craving kayaks and jonesing for jet-skis? Brac’s got all your watersports needs covered. It’s also where you’ll find Zlatni Rat — Croatia’s mostphotographed beach. Lovely.

LOPUD This is where you go if you really want to get away from it all. It’s got no cars, idyllic stretches of white sand and a population smaller than most branches of NTUC. Accessed by a speedboat from Dubrovnik. DUGI Pag is Croatia’s most-famous party island but Dugi Otok does a nice line in berserk, 24-hour, open-air raves, particularly on Sahara Beach, whose shores are lined with great bars and cafés.

PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PICTURS

S U M M E R H O L I D AY

the luxury holiday you can afford

LAS VEGAS

I M S S À BE N IC
less mud more sun
he dream: A festival where you can go mental to your favourite bands until early morning, then head back to your tent for some sexy time with your girlfriend. The problem: Mud and your lady pal moaning about mud. The solution: Take the British weather out of the equation by jetting to a small town on the east coast of Spain. In case you haven’t guessed, we’re talking about Festival International Benicàssim, which takes place next to a lovely, long beach from 18-21 July. And if that’s not enough to get you and your lady excited, we should probably tell you that this year’s FHM-approved acts include The Killers, Queens of the Stone Age and Azealia Banks. The best part is the ticket allows you to camp for eight days, meaning you can spend four days visiting water parks and topping up your tan, then four days losing your s**t in the mosh pit. Rooms From $72 per person per night (but it’s better to take a tent). Drink plenty of water Temperatures hit the high 30s.
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nly high-rolling, swinging berks go to Vegas, right? Wrong. You can do Sin City on a budget, and what do you know, it’s infinitely cooler to do so. Think “Vintage Vegas” rather than $600 tickets to see Elton John, and you won’t go far wrong. Cities like Vegas suffer in a global recession, so even the slick hotels on “the strip” can be found to offer eyebrow-raising discounts. But sod them, save even more money by going for the faded grandeur of a former mob-owned joint like The Flamingo or El Cortez, both of which were once the stomping grounds of gangster Bugsy Siegel. The Artisan is known for being a party palace, and downtown, the Fremont will put you up for $45 a night. Go

midweek instead of peak-time weekends, and you’ll be amazed at how little you’ll pay. Meanwhile, gorge on spectacular New Mexican food at El Sombrero on South Main Street, the oldest gaff in town, opened in 1950, or proper Italian pizza at Settebello. Neither will cost you much more than $12 so you can spend what you save on the slots at Palms or the Gold Coast, both of which give you free drinks while you play. Sweet. Rooms From a staggering $31 at Sam’s Town. Drink Hit happy hour at the Mandalay Bay for $6 cocktails. Strangest tourist attraction The Atomic Testing Museum, when you’re sick of gambling and drinking.

RACING SAHARA
in the
the pharaons rally

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f the whiff of spent petrol is an essential requirement for your summer vacation, then you could do considerably worse than witnessing The Pharaons International Cross Country Rally. A car, bike and truck race across the sizzling landscape of Egypt, it’s an all-terrain burn-up through the desert in the style of the legendary Dakar Rally. Taking place over six stages from late September to early October the gruelling race over sand and asphalt is one of the coolest things an engine nut will ever see. Want to get even closer to the race? Book a stay at the Mövenpick Hotel & Casino Cairo Media City, which has a football pitch and four swimming pools. It’s where all the teams stay and totally envelop yourself in the atmosphere. Simply apply as an “accompanying person”, after which

you can sort yourself out with a customised programme. Then when the racing’s done, you can check out the bazaars and nightlife in Cairo. The capital’s nightlife is a mixture of regular bars and more relaxed ahwas (coffee houses) where you can chill out with the locals and smoke shisha. If you want out-and-out clubbing, then head to the Zamalek district, where top clubs, including Rive Gauche and Latex, stay open until 4am. Rooms The five-star Mövenpick for $1,270 (based on two adults sharing). Drink Plenty of water because it will be bloody hot. For the petrol heads Pestering the drivers at dinner time to get the inside track on the day’s racing.

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he Crimea is known for a couple of things. One was a bloody big war in the 1850s, and the other is Kazantip, a festival on the Black Sea Peninsula in the Ukraine that starts at the end of July and lasts six weeks. Yep, six whole weeks. The festival attracts around 150,000 party loons and hundreds of DJs, but don’t be intimidated by its size. Z, as the devoted regulars call it, might sound (and look) a bit mental, but if you rent a room in the budget-friendly nearby town of Popovka, you’ll be able to retreat from the madness to a safe haven of satellite TV and air-conditioning whenever you like. Okay, let’s get down to brass tacks: DJ sets by the likes of Josh Wink, Pendulum and Armin Van Buuren are all very nice but
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where the party (almost literally) never ends
Kazantip is renowned for one thing — its jaw-dropping girls. We are talking stunning, Eastern European goddesses, covered in neon paint, throwing back straight vodka like fruit juice. So prepare to fall in love on an almost daily basis. A few words of warning. You should take euros or US dollars for easy exchange and don’t fall asleep on the beach — the burning hot mornings ain’t good for a vodka hangover. Oh, and pace yourself. It never stops, so don’t try and outrun it. You’ll just lose. Rooms $48 per person in nearby Popovka. Drink Vodka, obviously. Regrettable opportunity Getting “married” to some fit rave girl you just met up Kazantip Tower (don’t worry, it’s not legally binding).

KAZANTIP

PHOTO: CORBIS

S U M M E R H O L I D AY

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ce
ST TROPEZ
gatecrash the billionaires’ playground

will change you forever

GREEK ISLAND HOPPING…

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his trip’s about forgetting the rat race with some proper, random adventure. There are dozens of Greek islands, all with a unique draw, all interconnected by a reliable network of boats. It’s that easy. Get a cheap flight to Athens then rock up early to Piraeus ferry port like Jack Sparrow in espadrilles to choose your vessel. Want beaches and Vespas? Head to Naxos. Postcard views from a volcano? Santorini. Both seven hours by ferry, enough time to meet travellers on deck and get whooped at tavli (Greek backgammon — you can challenge anyone to a game) by an ouzo-charged 80-year-old.

Crete and Rhodes are rip-roaring party hotspots, but those in the know choose Ios. Basically a beach, a port and a town — no ruins to see, just 24-hour hedonism. Never question bartenders on the potency of their drinks though. A shot of homemade tsipouro, a super-charged goatherder tipple made from leftover grapes, is always under the counter to shut you up. For true travel bragging rights hit secret island Amorgos. Resist Katapola harbour, where most people disembark, and stay onboard to the epic port of Aegiali. A good shout late in the season when workers throw all-night beach parties. The best bit? This whole holiday can be had for less than a flight to Thailand. Rooms From $23 a night on Ios. Drink $3 for a beer in Los, although expect at least double in Santorini. Historical bonus The Acropolis in Athens — climb through olive groves of the lower slopes to reach the the spectacular 432BC Parthenon.

he traditional way to “do” St Tropez involves spending the day on a pimpin’ yacht, then sailing into port and partying at Le Caves du Roy ($19 a coke, booze from $48). But since you’re not a sucker and your surname’s not Abramovich, you won’t be doing this. You can, however, enjoy the same buzz for a millionth of the price by renting a villa in nearby Port Grimaud or Sainte Maxime, buying some cans (or a bottle of really cheap but delicious rosé wine) from the local super-marché and jumping on the open-top shuttle boat to Southern France’s most famous holiday hotspot (sit at the front as those at the back often get soaked). Once docked, wing a left at the port to gawp at the models partying on super-yachts before hitting a restaurant in the Place de Lices for a dish of moule frites (that’s mussels and chips) for a not-crazy-expensive $24. Next, head back to and bag a table outside the Bar du Port. It’s always packed and open until 4am. If the DJ or women aren’t doing it for you there, try Papagayo, which is open til dawn. It’s pricey, but if you want to splash the cash for a night of champagne-soaked debauchery you’ll be in with a chance of pulling some of Europe’s finest ladies (or impressing your other half). Time to go May-September Rooms From $22 per person per night; look for shared villa for the best deals. Drink Tap water if it’s your round, whatever you fancy if it isn’t. “When in Rome” activity A game of petanque (boules) — locals and tourists play in the Placedes Lices. FHM

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BOOK YOUR HOLIDAY LIKE A PRO
Fly on a Tuesday Consumer mag Which? discovered the best day to fly is Tuesday. Flights can be 35 per cent cheaper on this day, so try and get time off to coincide, rather than joining the mugs all leaving on a Friday. Hide Yo’ cookies It’s said that some sites can gather information through cookies to work out what you might spend and then gear prices accordingly. Prices can also go up the longer you are looking. Sneaky. Say you’re a coeliac Say you require the coeliac (pronounced “see-lee-ack”) menu on the plane, and you’ll get something fresher than usual tired greyness hiding ominously under a sweaty foil lid. Luggage charges You might think you’ve got yourself an insanely cheap return flight, but make sure you check whether you have to pay for your baggage or hand luggage.

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CH R I STI N E HALLAU E R

The Knock
One Fighting Championship’ s (One FC) latest Swiss-Filipino ring
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Words: Janine Lee Art direction: Pyron Tan Photography: Nicky Loh Styling: Thomas Hong

Spot Joyeux bra top with sequin strap and matching panties, by Valisere from Triumph. Poetry ring, by Oroton. Hair: Peter Lee/Hairloom using Goldwell; Makeup: Sha Shamsi/9628-7035, using Make Up For Ever.

Out

girl, Christine Hallauer, is getting our blood pumping.
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CH R I STI N E HALLAU E R

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hey’re the sweethearts of the ring, adding a bit of sass and sex appeal to what’s otherwise a completely male-dominated world. They make a mixed martial arts (MMA) fight look that much more brutal simply by being present, and they’re also the only people on earth who can get a crowd roaring just by walking around holding a sign. All things considered, they’re pivotal to the MMA experience and it’s just peaches for us that they look so damned good doing it. Show some love to Christine Hallauer, One FC’s new ring girl.

Black ribbon lace on white bra, by La Senza. Bracelet, stylist’s own. Opposite: Pink lace padded bra, tanga with tutu and bow, all by La Senza.

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CH R I STI N E HALLAU E R What do you do as a ring girl? The role we’re known for would be carrying the signs that display the round numbers of a fight. But before each fight, we also attend a lot of media events with the management team and fighters. We’re the female faces that represent One FC — the MMA equivalent of F1 grid girls. There are ring girls who are celebrities in their own right, with fans who follow them. And when they follow us, they’ll also follow news about One FC and this in turn generates more interest in the sport. How did you get introduced to MMA and how did it lead to this job? I was modelling for magazines in Australia when my friend introduced

me to this. So I started doing promotional work for smaller fights in 2009. That’s how One FC eventually discovered me and it led to where I am now. What does it take to be a ring girl for One FC? I reckon it wanted someone from the region with an Asian heritage to be able to connect with its audience here. And since the Philippines is one of the largest markets for MMA and I’m half Filipino, it worked out. The ring girls also need to be articulate, to speak for One FC. Of course, sexy, classy and sporty, too! Are you an MMA fan, or is it more of a job for you? I actually do have a genuine interest in MMA and love to watch the

“The M M A audience are quite respect ful to us at the fights and they don’t do any thing out of line.”
fights. But this sport is so popular in Australia that it doesn’t need much introduction. Everyone there is familiar with MMA and it’s common for any one of us to be a fan. Have you signed up for any MMA classses? I might do muay thai for fitness in the future because that’s the one I’m most familiar with, but I don’t think I can fight. I’d probably appreciate it more as a member of the audience! How do you feel about being ogled by men? It doesn’t really bother me. I’m not really concentrating on that; I’m more focused on the job and walking around and having fun. Besides, they’re quite respectful to us at the fights and they don’t do anything out of line, so it’s quite nice. We’ve seen drama between fighters. Is there any drama between ring girls?

Not that I’ve come across; we’re all good friends! If you could take on one person in MMA who would it be? Can I say [boxer Manny] Pacquiao? Just because of how massively popular he is in the Philippines. How do you define sexy? It’s what you personally feel comfortable in, or feel good wearing. Everyone’s definition is different. For me, it’s a feeling: If I feel sexy, I come across as sexy. What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done? Riding a horse while doing a photo shoot! FHM

For more info on One FC “live” events, visit onefc.com

Panties, by Valisere from Triumph. Loa bronze bracelet, Ditan bracelet and Trance Rhodium earrings, all by Oroton.

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YOUR STAG DO 2023

SPACE: YOU’RE GOING UP THERE SOONER THAN YOU THINK
Words: Joe Mackertich and Dan Masoliver

S PA C E H O L I D AY

WHEN CAN I PACK MY BAGS?
et’s clear something up right off the bat: You, yes you, will be able to go into space in your lifetime. “We’re on the cusp of what we only read about in books 50 years ago — hotels in space, moving sidewalks, orbital villages. It’s starting to happen.” These aren’t the words of some fruitloop sci-fi-obsessive. It’s Bobby Block, a man who has worked at the top of some of the biggest private-sector space companies in the world. “It is extremely possible,” says Block, “that in the near future, if Valentine’s Day was approaching, for a modest sum, you and your sweetheart could spend a few days in space, going round the moon on a spaceship.” Block currently works for The Golden Spike Company, one of the many businesses striving to make the dream of affordable, civilian space travel a reality in the next couple of decades. Last year, its hand forced by the global recession, the Obama administration dramatically cut funding to its space agency, Nasa. The budget could not stretch to the cosmos when there were expensive wars being waged in Afghanistan and Iraq. A host of billionaire entrepreneurs across the world perceived this as the crack of a starter’s pistol. If the US government didn’t have the cojones to take the human race to the stars, then they certainly did. Ever wonder what the heads of companies like Google, PayPal and Virgin are saving up for? It’s this. “It’s like telecoms,” says Mike Gold, operations director for Bigelow Aerospace, the company that is ploughing millions into developing large habitats (think floating blocks of flats) for space. “In the past, only governments could develop communication satellites and launch them. Once the private sector was able to develop and deploy them, you had the explosion of the telecom industry.” The thing that’s made space travel so expensive is the cost of blasting off. Currently, the rockets we use to launch us out of the atmosphere can only be used once. Imagine if after each time an airline flew a plane it had to scrap it and build a new one. This is the situation with space travel, but things are set to change. SpaceX, the company founded by dotcom billionaire Elon Musk is working hard on making the first reusable rockets. And sources tell FHM they’re close to a breakthrough. “Civilian space travel is seen as a carnival for wealthy people,” says Block. “But research for space exploration is going to change the Earth in revolutionary ways.” Gold agrees: “You’ll soon be able to fly from London to Tokyo in under an hour. I look forward to when the taxi ride to the airport is longer than the flight.” All the companies agree on one thing: Once companies and investors recognise space as a viable commercial market, the cost of leaving Earth for regular people will come down a lot. “You should be able to go down to one of the many launch pads across the world, and watch a rocket blast into space with humans on board; the same way you can go to an airport and watch a plane take off,” says Block. “That’s where this industry is heading. It’s a huge challenge. But we’re up to it.”
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QUESTION 1

PHOTO: CORBIS

“WE’RE ON THE CUSP OF WHAT WE READ ABOUT IN BOOKS 50 YEARS AGO.”

QUESTION 2

WILL SPACE DESTROY MY MIND?
pace. It’s all fun and games until your eyes explode. We asked Dr Kevin Fong, an expert on space medicine, to tell us about some of extraterrestrial travel’s biggest health risks. “Space looks like the most wonderful, Zen-like experience,” says Dr Fong. “Floating around, everyone’s smiling. Actually, it’s uncomfortable, dangerous, with an ever-present threat of a very violent death.” Here are just a few of the mind- and body-destroying maladies awaiting any budding astronauts, none of which sound like much fun when you’re 400 million miles from a GP. the brain swells, it pushes on the eyes and deforms the eyeballs. There are a couple of big problems there: One is that your vision is changing; the second thing is you’ve got this raised pressure in the central nervous system that could cause damage.”

CRUMBLING BONES
“Space turns athletic people — astronauts — into couch potatoes. Their muscles waste, their bones waste — if you don’t use it, you lose it, and going into space, you’re not using it. They lose bone mass and muscle mass from the bits of the skeleton that are load-bearing areas. In those regions, you lose on average 1-2 per cent bone mineral per month. At that kind of loss, you don’t have to go long before you’re into real trouble.”

SPACE MADNESS
“Space is tremendously challenging psychologically. You’re in a confined area, death awaits you about an inch away on the other side of the hull, you’re living inside a machine — these aren’t just houses in space, they’re constructions that have to work to keep you alive. You’re isolated from all your creature comforts and everyone’s monitoring what you’re doing. It’s like Big Brother in space, but the evictions are kind of messier. The thing about taking fee-paying people up there is that there’s a lower grade of psychological selection for space tourists, so you have to accept that there’s a possibly higher incidence of crazy-person-aboard-ship syndrome.”

BOILING BLOOD
“As pressure drops, so does the boiling point of liquid. If you boil a cup of tea on the summit of Everest, the water boils at 70 deg C, rather than 100 deg C. Now, if you keep dropping the pressure, eventually you get to the point at which water will boil at 37 deg C — the core temperature of your body. If you’re at low enough pressure, as in the vacuum of space, the water in the soft tissues of your body and the blood in your veins begins to boil and form bubbles of vapour. If that goes on long enough, it will kill you.”

“AS THE BRAIN SWELLS, IT PUSHES ON THE EYEBALLS.”
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“Inside your central nervous system — your brain and spinal cord — there’s liquid circulating called the cerebrospinal fluid. In space, something happens which causes a swelling of the brain. It may be because this fluid isn’t draining properly, no one’s really sure, but as

LOSS OF FINGERNAILS
“Spacesuits look like big quilts and you think, ‘Gosh, that must be the most comfy thing to wear’ — but they’re really not. It’s like wriggling into a suit of armour lined with a wetsuit, and you’re out there for six hours at a time. The gloves and boots in particular press up against your finger- and toenails, putting pressure on them. The nail bed needs a supply of blood, and if that is obstructed, the nails lose their blood supply and the whole thing just comes off.”

PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICKPHOTO

DEFORMED EYEBALLS

S PA C E H O L I D AY

MOON (2009)
The plot: Trippy sci-fi in which Sam Rockwell’s moon miner discovers he’s the victim of a human-cloning operation. Dr Hugh: “Space mining is big at the moment, and we’re really close to how it’s portrayed in this film. Two companies — one funded by (Google bosses) Eric Schmidt and Larry Page, the other by director James Cameron — are trying to set up mining missions to asteroids.”

BARBARELLA (1968)
The plot: Jane Fonda jiggles her way around various planets in a space-bikini. On her adventures she meets many interesting characters. And has sex with almost all of them. Dr H: “I’m pretty convinced that complex life has developed somewhere. Twenty years ago, we discovered the first planet outside of our solar system. Since then, we’ve found 5,800 more, as well as countless other candidates that we think are planets.”

QUESTION 3

So you’ve bought a ticket to the moon, hopped onboard the shuttle and now have nine hours to kill before touchdown. It seems only right you use the journey to enjoy some of the finest space films ever made. But what does Dr Hugh Mortimer, planetary researcher and scientific adviser for last year’s mega-hit Prometheus, make of the scientific theories at the heart of these six classics? A word of warning: Here be spoilers…

WHAT’S ON THE IN-FLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT?

STAR TREK (2009)
The plot: Captain Kirk and his Starfleet chums zip across the galaxy using faster-than-light travel to save humanity from the dastardly Nero. Dr H: “There’s nothing scientifically wrong with the principle of warp speed. You compress space in front of you and expand it behind you; you’re not violating the laws of relativity, but are travelling faster than the speed of light. I’ve heard rumours of secret teams in the US researching this.”

ALIENS (1986)
The plot: A band of marines go into hyper-sleep in order to travel across the galaxy to wipe out a planet of predatory beasts. Dr H: “Space is so vast that to get to another star system, you have to travel incredibly fast or put yourself into cryogenic sleep. A way of doing this is low-temperature stasis — cooling the body down to the point of induced hibernation. It’s been tried on mice and pigs and works most of the time.”

TOTAL RECALL (1990)
The plot: Arnie goes on an ultra-violent vacation to Mars, where humanity’s colonists are busy mining the planet for its valuable resources. Dr H: “Mars colonies have been a research topic for a while but it’s still too expensive. Within the next 20 years, we should have a permanently manned lunar base, which could then be used as a stop-off point between Earth and Mars.”

2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968)
The plot: The crew of a spaceship are fatally betrayed by Hal, its onboard computer. Dr H: “We already rely on computers to land our planes, trade finances and recognise faces. Using something called ‘Strong AI’ (artificial intelligence), people are already trying to build computer versions of the human brain. We would be giving computers the ability to think for themselves, in all areas.”
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QUESTION 4

QUESTION 5

WHAT TO READ ON A LONG-HAUL SPACE FLIGHT?

HOW DOES ONE POOP IN SPACE?
HOW DOES ONE POOP?

...And four other things you didn’t know you didn’t know.

The majority of space toilets use fan-driven suction systems, instead of water, to pull waste away from astronauts’ bodies before zero-G can begin playing revolting havoc. On the International Space Station, urine is recycled and turned into drinking water. Poo is dried out, compressed, put in aluminium containers, and disposed of back on Earth.

HAS ANYONE DONE THE SEX IN SPACE?
No one’s ever admitted to having space sex, but Virgin Galactic have confirmed that a porn company approached them with a milliondollar offer to let them shoot a film on one of its soon-to-be-operational sub-orbital craft. Virgin said no. Porn star Coco Brown is also currently training as an astronaut, with a view to becoming the world’s first “astroslut” (her words) by 2014.

HAS ANYONE DIED UP THERE?
Nobody has ever died out in space. Officially. There are conspiracy theorists that allege that Yuri Gagarin — the first man to leave the Earth’s atmosphere — was simply the first man to survive leaving the Earth’s atmosphere. It’s said that the Soviet Union shot a number of unlucky “lost cosmonauts” up into the void, never to return.

CONSIDER PHLEBAS (1987)
By Iain M Banks

A proper, no-nonsense space opera. Warring civilisations, galactic politics and a truly epic scope make what would become the first book in Banks’s Culture saga a wicked read. Will take ages to finish, too. It’s like: Star Wars with a degree.

he becomes hell-bent on seeking revenge — even if it takes a total rebuilding of his mind and body. It’s like: A Jason Statham film crossed with 2001: A Space Odyssey.

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU TAKE THE SUIT OFF?
Surprisingly, you don’t need a spacesuit to go into space. The crew on early Russian flights wore sportswear inside their capsules. Even if you leave the ship, you don’t immediately explode or freeze to death: In space you’re surrounded by a vacuum, so you’ll get cold in the shade and warm in the light. Then your blood starts to boil.

RINGWORLD (1970)
By Larry Niven

THE THREE STIGMATA OF PALMER ELDRITCH (1965)
By Philip K Dick

Bored colonists on a sand-blasted, inhospitable Mars use psychedelic drugs to help pass the time. Mind-bendingly weird. It’s like: Inception, but with drugs instead of sleep.

A mysterious metallic ring, a million miles wide and rotating around a far-off star, is the destination for two bored humans determined to discover its secrets. Was the Ringworld built as shelter from a galactic explosion, or is it part of a plan by alien puppeteers to breed human beings? It’s like: Stargate. But with more sex.

WHO OWNS THE MOON?
It’s first come, first served. “If your company reaches the moon and begins mining, you’d have dominion over the land you’ve settled,” says Bigelow Aerospace’s Mike Gold. Golden Spike’s Bobby Block thinks this could be problematic: “Will it be like the Antarctic, where you’ve got treaties stating which countries own which bits?”

THE STARS MY DESTINATION (1956)
By Alfred Bester

…AND HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO READ THEM?
The distance between Earth and Mars is always changing (because of their orbits), but if you timed take-off right, it would be about 34 million miles. A rocket-powered flight would take about 6,000 hours.

Sci-fi at its maddest and most epic: Gully Foyle is an uneducated thug of a man, shipwrecked in deep space. When a rescue ship passes him by,
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QUESTION 6

WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BLAST THE F**K OFF?

• •
TRIP TO QINETIQ CENTRIFUGE COURTESY OF THE GUYS BEHIND THE TERRIFYING DEAD SPACE 3 GAME (OUT NOW FOR XBOX 360).

• • • •
QUESTION 7

“Like going over Niagra Falls in a flaming barrel,” is how one astronaut described taking off in a rocket. We sent FHM space cadet Dan Masoliver to the QinetiQ Human Centrifuge in Farnborough to find out how 4Gs feels (the level that astronauts leaving Earth on a low-orbital spacecraft experience). Between 2-3Gs, Masoliver experienced “grey-out” — there’s a loss of colour and peripheral vision. From 3Gs, the heart has to start beating extraordinarily fast and hard as all the blood in the body is pulled towards the feet. At 4Gs, Masoliver’s eyesight failed entirely. At 5Gs, most people experience G-LOC (G-force loss of consciousness aka passing out). At 9Gs, his weight would go from 80kg to 720kg. At 16Gs, vibrations begin rupturing organs.

WHAT AM I WEARING TO SPACE?
Super hi-tech space clobber that’s also ready to wear down here on planet Earth.
The Omega Speedmaster Professional (right), worn by Buzz Aldrin over his space suit in 1967, was the first (and only) watch to ever go to the moon. It was chosen by Nasa owing to its toughness. Price: $5,300 Dreamed up by a bunch of MIT graduates called the Ministry of Supply, the Apollo Shirt is crammed to the cuffs with genuine spacesuit technology. Price: $135
The shirt has a lab-tested antimicrobial coating so you don’t have to worry about BO pong. Nasa Phase-Change material, which absorbs heat from your body and then releases it when your core temperature drops.

Fabric woven from thermoset yarns, making it entirely wrinkle-free.

TO INFINITY...
This is not some bloke from a Toy Story convention. It is, in fact, the prototype of Nasa’s next spacesuit, the Z-1. Designed for future missions to the moon and Mars, the Z-1 is more mobile, easier to get into and more stylish than anything that’s come before. The fact that nextgeneration astronauts will be floating around the cosmos dressed as Buzz Lightyear is pretty cool, actually.
HELMET COURTESY OF FANCYDRESS.COM

Waterresistant up to 50m. Rhodium-plated stainlesssteel strap. Shatterproof Hesalite crystal face.

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QUESTION 8

WHAT’S ON THE MENU?
VANILLA AND CHOCOLATE SANDWICH
“Incredibly hard and powdery. Like Chuck Norris in drag.”

We got hold of a load of space snacks and conducted a blind taste test.

NEAPOLITAN ICE CREAM
“Does taste like Neapolitan ice cream. Becomes gungy. You’ll need a space toothpick.”

MINT AND CHOCOLATECHIP ICE CREAM
“A winner. Smooth and not too sweet.”

VACUUM-PACKED GRANOLA
There are no fridges in space, so astronaut food has to be totally dehydrated and sealed in vacuum-packed bags to stop bacteria from developing.

STRAWBERRIES
“These are good! Strawberries with the natural sugar taken out and replaced with normal sugar.”

PEACHES
“Like someone spilt tinned peaches over a cardboard box. And you eat the cardboard box.”

APPLE WEDGES
“Tastes like warm apple pie. But feels like dry, crusty bread.”

QUESTION 9

CAN I BE CAPTAIN?
he short answer: Yes! But you might want to hold fire on purchasing that Starfleet Command tunic for the moment. You’ve got some hard work to do before anyone’s going to let you behind the controls of anything as cool as a spacecraft. “In the future, captains of orbital spacecrafts will be ex-airline pilots or test pilots who have a degree in astronautics or space engineering,” says veteran European Space Agency astronaut Jean-François Clervoy. “If you have a problem hundreds of thousands of miles from Earth, you need to know how to fix it. Mis-controlling the fuel in an airplane is not that dramatic a problem. In a spaceship, if you mis-timed a rocket-engine boost for injection into orbit, you'd leave the planet on a trajectory that meant you'd never return to Earth. Doomed.” So what would an FHM reader have to do to be in with a chance of one day having “Space Captain” on their CV?
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“The most important thing is they can demonstrate that, from an early age, they were keen on flying and being in the air. They should enrol in test-pilot school and get around 2,000 hours of flight time under their belt, operating high-performance aircraft.” The good news is once you’ve got your pilot’s licence, spent enough air time and graduated with a degree in something space science-y, you’ll be on a good salary from the moment you don your captain’s hat. “Basic pay will be around $190,000 a year,” says Cervoy, “and that will rise to $380,000, depending on how often you fly.”

$380,000
SPACE CAPTAIN’S FUTURE INCOME

DEHYDRATED SPACE FOOD SUPPLIED BY EDU-SCI (ASTRONAUTFOOD.CO.UK)

S PA C E H O L I D AY

QUESTION 10

WHAT DOES ZERO-G ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE?
ike every man born since the first space shuttle launched from Cape Canaveral in the ’60s, FHM staffer Dan Masoliver has often stared into the night sky and dreamed of following in the gravity-defying footsteps of his astronaut heroes. We sent him to Florida, courtesy of Lynx Space Academy, to board a parabolic plane and experience firsthand the weightlessness of space. “As I lie face down on the carpeted floor of a tiny twin-engine plane, several thousand feet over the Gulf of Mexico, the pilot pushes forward on his stick and sends us plummeting towards the open ocean below in a sharp nosedive. Suddenly, this seems more like the worst nightmare of anyone with a phobia of flying than my childhood dream of floating among the stars. “This is the first stomach-churning stage of the aerobatic manoeuvre known as a parabola — used by Nasa and more recently a handful of commercial companies offering zero-gravity experiences — to re-create conditions felt by astronauts as they leave the atmosphere and break free from Earth’s gravitational pull. “As the pilot pulls back on his controls, we enter phase two of the parabola, a steep 45-degree climb. At 1.8Gs of gravity, my body is almost twice as heavy as on ground level, forcing me to eat carpet, in the worst possible sense. Then it happens. As we level out of our climb, first my hands, then my shoulders, then suddenly my entire body is pulled up, and I start falling. Upwards. “Jean-François Clervoy, a French astronaut with 675 hours in space under his belt, told FHM that with zero-G ‘you fly even more freely than the birds in the air or the fish swim in the sea’ — and for a combined total of three minutes, I know exactly what he means. With no resistance against your weightless limbs, you can somersault, air-swim or just float. Even within the cramped cabin of the small plane, the freedom is like no feeling on Earth. “Astronauts aboard the International Space Station have to live in zero-gravity conditions for months on end. To the earthbound, that seems like a brilliantly free existence, though the truth is that almost everything is harder in zero G. Food flies out of its containers and splatters on the walls. A restful night’s sleep can only be achieved by strapping yourself down (or else floating off and hitting your head). And using the loo can be, well, a messy experience. “Despite this, astronauts like Cervoy wouldn’t change it for the world. ‘When you’re in space, looking out at the stars, you cannot feel your body’s weight,’ he says. ‘If you close your eyes, you feel as if you are just a spirit — nothing but a weightless mind.’” FHM
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“CLOSE YOUR EYES AND YOU FEEL AS IF YOU ARE A SPIRIT.”

PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICKPHOTO

Billboard

Meet the red-hot redhead from Britain’ s favourite ads (and every

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DAI SY PETTI NG E R

Beaut y
lad’s sexy dreams).
Words: Chris Sayer Photography: Zoe McConnell Styling: Kylie Griffiths

Cardigan, by New Look. Knickers, by Primark. Hair & makeup: Natacha S, using M.A.C.

Vest, by American Apparel. Knickers, by DKNY.

S
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ince posing for FHM UK’s Halloween special two years back (it was her first-ever shoot), 26-yearold Daisy Pettinger has taken the modelling world by storm. Just last year, Britain saw her seductively sipping on a bottle of Coke Zero and managing to make a bowl of Kellogg’s Special K look trouserrubbingly exciting. Our UK counterparts even confessed that they’d have her in their mag every single month if they could. In fact, feast your eyes on these pictures and give them one good reason not to.

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DAI SY PETTI NG E R

“You’ll probably find it easier to recognise me with my clothes of f.”

DAI SY PETTI NG E R

You’re everywhere in the UK right now. What’s your latest steamy advert? My last shoot was for an Ann Summers (lingerie and sex toys retailer) Christmas commercial, but you don’t see my face. Just my bod. I do a lot of lingerie and swimwear jobs. You’ll probably find it easier to recognise me with my clothes off. What did the ad involve? It’s really embarrassing. Basically, I had to have a sexy romp with a male model in my underwear. Don’t tell my mum! Actually, she knows… but my dad doesn’t. Do you have any tattoos that might help us recognise you? Only on my foot, but I don’t think people will be concentrating on the feet. How long have you been modelling? I’ve been doing it for 10 years, since I was 16. I went to Japan when I was 17 to model. I did

some crazy s**t; they are absolutely mental over there. What was the weirdest thing you had to do? One of my first Japanese adverts was for a breast pump. I was 17 and was given this newborn child, which I then had to hold, topless — I had nothing on. The agency also liked the models to have super-pale skin, so every morning they’d rub loads of sun cream on us, to make sure we wouldn’t get any kind of tan. Bizarre. Are you a fan of the model lifestyle then? No way. I’m proper down-to-earth, I don’t like the whole model scene. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate nice things, but I love a pizza voucher. I just think, why not? Dough balls and a pizza for $15 — who can say no to that? And I love a pint or a cup of tea. A really good

date would be brunch; that’s the best meal of the day. What kind of men would you like to have brunch with? Men that aren’t wankers. High standards indeed. What’s a real turn off? Probably a guy who can’t grow a beard. I like a beard. I don’t get the whole One Direction thing at all. What’s the world coming to? They’re children, and people are just going mad over them. I like men. I also like a guy who can laugh at himself. I meet a lot of male models and they take themselves way too seriously; they’re way worse than the girls. They’re so vain and all they do is talk about gym. Get over yourself! It’s a shame that they are so pretty, but on the whole they’re just a bit vacuous.

Bodysuit, by American Apparel.

“I’m down-to - ear th, I don’t like the whole model scene. I love a pint or a cuppa.”

But surely you spend as much time in the gym as they do, no? Not really, I’m not very sporty. I do a lot of yoga and Pilates, basically because they’re easier. I get a bit freaked out by the gym. I walked a marathon recently. You can say I “did” a marathon, though, if you want. That would sound better and it’s not technically a lie. It was difficult, I’m still in pain from it. It took us eight hours, and we were pacing it. We were dying by the end. I really don’t know how people run that. So where do your talents lie? You know that game where you have a cereal box and you have to bend down and pick it up without bending your knees and without using your hands? I’m f**king ace at that game, I’m also very good at the limbo, very good actually. I’m very flexible.

What would be the best way for a man to find out how flexible you are? I can’t stand pathetic men. This summer, one guy tried to ask me out. He was lovely but boring as hell. He sent me a message saying, “Um, hi, Daisy, um, would it be okay if, possibly, maybe, I could take you out for dinner, maybe?” No way. You want a man to say, “I’m picking you up at 8 o’clock.” You need some confidence. I need someone who’s as bossy as I am. So who would be your perfect man? Jenson Button — I have a small obsession with him. He’s my favourite Formula 1 driver. Though I predict that Sebastian Vettel will win next year again — he seems pretty unstoppable. FHM
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BADASS
WRESTLING WAY
FHM LEARNS FROM WWE LEGEND “STONE COLD” STEVE AUSTIN HOW FAR RAISING THE MIDDLE FINGER CAN GET YOU.
Words: Oliver Stallwood

LIVE YOUR LIFE

In a world ruled by gargantuan men in multicoloured jockstraps paid to knock seven shades of crap out of each other with fists, steel chairs and tables, it can be tricky getting noticed. For a manual labourer from Victoria, Texas, named Steven James Anderson, trying to crack his way into the World Wrestling Federation, there were only two options to consider. He could (a) try to fit in with the world’s best, find a nut-hugging sequinned suit, get a one-syllable name like “Rock” or “Hulk”, sit tight and wait for the big bucks to roll in. Or (b) drink a lot of beer, act so redneck that he’d get turned away from a Dukes of Hazzard convention and swear at everyone who could possibly give him a break in the industry. No prizes for guessing which route seemed more appealing. Blond locks would never work, so the 25-year-old Texan workhorse chose to soak himself with beer, swear like a rum-addled pirate, clad himself in leather and denim and put his faith in route (b). By 1995, the Stone Cold

Steve Austin who is now known and loved around the globe by generations of fans, a true WWE phenomenon, had arrived: A blue-collar anti-hero you’d expect to find throwing someone through a truck-stop window.

THE $56 MILLION REDNECK
“I helped a little old lady cross the street just yesterday,” Steve Austin tells us as he sits in his LA home, nursing a knee injury. “I don’t think I’ve done enough good deeds lately.” The image of a 48-year-old, 1.88m bald former WWE Champion, WCW Tag Team Champ, WWE Hall of Famer, sharer of the silver screen with Sly Stallone and Dolph Lundgren in The Expendables and the only man to walk away from middle-fingering Mike Tyson’s face, bent down and holding hands with someone’s grandma just doesn’t register. “Sure, in wrestling I’m the baddest man on the planet. But Steve Austin away from WWE is a different animal. The elements are still there, but the volume’s turned down from 10 to one.”

PHOTOS: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PHOTOS

STEVE AUSTI N

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But if ever you needed an excuse to turn your life dials all the way up, this is it. With his WWE retirement in 2003, his total career earnings were roughly $56m, an astronomical figure that undoubtedly crowned him as the richest redneck on Earth. In 1998 alone, Stone Cold shifted $22m worth of merchandised T-shirts that he personally had a hand in designing. Not bad for a persona that was once regarded as “unmarketable” by former World Championship Wrestling (WCW) vice-president Eric Bischoff (a remark that apparently led to his sacking). So where does his multi-million-dollar appeal come from? “Stone Cold was hell-bent on getting to the top,” Austin says. “He did exactly what he wanted to do, how he wanted to do it. That was a break from what everyone else was doing, and people appreciated that. People didn’t think that Stone Cold was a good role model, but they were entertained by his character.”

MARKETING THE MIDDLE FINGER
Every man needs a trademark. And Stone Cold Steve Austin’s middle finger has met the ends of noses belonging to opponents (including the aforementioned Mike Tyson), crowds and figures of authority over and over, not only as a threat, but as a statement of intent to reach the top of his game without anyone holding him back. But once you’re past the public image, perceptions change. “I wouldn’t be anywhere near as ruthless as Stone Cold,” he says. “Nonetheless, if you’re going to flip burgers in McDonald’s, I think you should go out there and be the best burgerflipper you can be. My personal goal has always been to be the best I can be.” Even with those intentions, chucking f**k you’s about will eventually spark confrontation. He’s been at loggerheads with numerous people during his career, most recently reportedly calling wrestling veteran Hulk Hogan a chump and being accused of criticising younger wrestlers — both of which he says were taken out of context. “Half the stuff I say is tongue-in-cheek,” he assures FHM. “People take it word for word and that’s the thing that disturbs me about people reading into what I say. I mind my own business, try my best to live with the people I choose to surround myself with. No a**holes are ever allowed.” The reality is this: Here is a guy who once had very little to show for himself, bar a few cans in the boozer, and has dragged himself up to be one of the world’s most recognisable faces, with a little help from a beer can here and there and a middle finger to naysayers.

SMACKDOWNS TO SPELLING BEES
For a man who has made his name by pummelling opponents in front of millions and has a flourishing acting career, another

STEVE AUSTI N unexpected thing you’ll learn about Steve Austin is that he’s a “very private individual”. Even when he’s staying in LA, the big man tries to avoid contact with too many people. “What annoys me is that everyone is on their damn phone these days. It’s all people seem to do. I’d rather be in wide-open spaces than crammed on top of those people in the city.” And you don’t get much more different from the hubbub of LA than Broken Skull Ranch, Steve’s 2,000-acre home near Tilden, McMullen County, Texas. It was the place he’d always dreamed of, even when he was making a living on a forklift before wrestling skyrocketed him to superstardom. And the name? “Hey, I had to break my skull in the ring to buy the place,” he justifies. The ranch is where Austin continues his passion for hunting. He’s been shooting and stalking since he was eight, and now has around 40 guns to his name. But shooting isn’t his only pastime he indulges in on his man ranch. Prepare for the final Stone Cold Steve Austin surprise… “I relax by watching spelling bees,” he tells us, without even a hesitation to suggest the image of him kicking back in front of a televised children’s spelling competition is even a little peculiar. “I’m a good speller, but these kids, I couldn’t spell three-quarters of what they can. I can spell ‘beer’, though. That’s for damn sure.”
FHM

Steve Austin stars in The Package, out now on DVD and Blu-ray.

Top: On the quad bike he uses to chase opponents. Above left: With The Expendables co-star Dolph Lundgren. Above right: In the 2012 action film, The Package.

MAKIN’ AN ENTRANCE
Prior to slapping someone’s face off, Austin has some of the most colourful entrances in the business. Here are some of our favourites:

The Ice Breaker The Texas Rattlesnake opted to drive a Zamboni — an ice resurfacer — into the ring in September 1998. He then dished out a clothesline and then got nicked by the cops.

Concrete Evidence It seems 1998 was a vintage year for freaking out in vehicles. Next up, he chose to drive a cement mixer up to WWE owner Vince McMahon’s Corvette and fill it with the grey stuff.

The Cold One Perhaps one of Stone Cold’s most famous moments. In 1999, he drove a beer truck into the arena and hosed down rival The Rock.

Dropping In In 2000, Austin completely lost it. He acquired a crane, dropped a block through then-WWE champion Triple H’s bus and towed it into the arena with his pick-up.

Easy as ATV At WrestleMania XXVII, Stone Cold used his trusty ATV — or quad bike — to chase his opponents in a kind of Mad Max version of Mr Bean.

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Wo BMus 0 m ook ic/ 6/1 en s DV 3 /M /M D ov an ies
T H I S M O N T H ’ S T O P 10

It’s still not too late to plan your mid-year holiday and make them absolute smashers with these incredible music outings.

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PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICKPHOTOS & CORBIS

Global Festivals
Music

You want to... DANCE ALL NIGHT IN A FORTRESS Then go to... EXIT FESTIVAL Held in the Petrovaradin Fortress in Serbia, Exit is hailed as one of the top 10 festivals in the world. Last year, New Order, Wolfmother, Little Dragon and Duran Duran were on the bill. Exit is in an amazing setting and has parties that will go on till

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dawn and blow your tiny mind. From $185, exitfest.org, 10-14 July. You want to... RAVE IT UP WITH DANCEMUSIC LEGENDS Then go to... CREAMFIELDS The elder statesman of dancemusic fests, Creamfields has been running since 1998, so knows how to throw down. Now it runs over three days, giving you more time to immerse yourself in the bleeping, pounding madness with the finest acts known to man, including David Guetta, Tiesto, Prodigy and Paul Oakenfold. From $200, creamfields.com, 23-25 August. You want to... GO NATIVE ON AN ISLAND IN HUNGARY Then go to... SZIGET FESTIVAL Taking place on a huge island in the Danube in northern Budapest, the eight-day-long Sziget festival has been dubbed “paradise city”. This year, Boys Noize, Hadouken! and Blur are on the bill, while a beer will cost you a mere $3. Fill thine boots. From $325, szigetfest.co.uk, 5-12 August. You want to... GET LOOSE TO GUITAR MUSIC IN IBIZA Then go to... IBIZA ROCKS It’s not all rave, rave, rave on the White Island, thanks to Ibiza Rocks. The parties, accommodation and flights are all bundled too, making it proper easy to arrange yourself a lost week of guitar-based excess. Jake Bugg plays the opening on 5 June, while Foals winds it up on 18 September. From $335, ibizarocks.com 5 June-18 September. You want to... LIVE IT UP IN LA Then go to... FYF FEST In September, the LA State Historic Park in downtown LA offers itself up to the hipsters for a weekend of superb comedy and music. Think blazing-hot indie girls in super-trendy specs wigging out to angular guitar noise and electro-pop. Sweet. From $110, fyffest.com, 1-2 September. You want to... GET YOUR FANCY DRESS ON Then go to... BESTIVAL Bestival is almost as well known for its fancy-dress theme as it is for its music (this year it’s sailor attire all round), but its hugely varied line-up is still the focus. This year, Elton John, Snoop Dogg, MIA and The Flaming Lips are all heading for the very beautiful Isle of Wight. From $345, bestival.net, 5-8 September. You want to... ROCK OUT LIKE YOU’RE IN EUROPE Then go to... SUMMER SONIC 2013 Held concurrently in Tokyo and Osaka, this two-day, two-venue affair features acts who will jet between the two cities. Rock behemoths Metallica and Muse headline on separate days, with performances by other arena-filling acts, including Linkin Park, Smashing Pumpkins, Stone Roses and Pet Shop Boys. If you want to experience a real festival vibe (Laneway doesn’t count) without travelling halfway round the world, Summer Sonic’s it. From $165, summersonic.com, 10-11 August.
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Bioshock Infinite
Game on, sucker!
the powers below are in-game real ’uns and which are the ones we’ve hilariously made up…
A. Murder of Crows Hatch a nest of crows onto your unsuspecting victim, and watch them peck your enemy to death. B. Bucking Bronco Go all Darth Vader on your baddie’s a**e by raising them into the air without touching them, shaking them about and then battering them to death.

Games

Test Your Gaming Expertise Try to work out which of

Bioshock is back, and even before a controller button has been bashed, it’s sat atop many a gaming must-buy list for 2013. In this third instalment, main-man Booker DeWitt, an agent with a dodgy past, is called to rescue a damsel in distress from Columbia, a city in the sky. But, as usual, in this massive franchise, he’s not only armed with bullets, but a number of weird powers to turn his living enemies into very dead enemies.
Bioshock Infinite is out now.
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C. Ape S**t Grow one really long, hairy arm and magic up a suspicious, sticky brown mess, then fling it into evil eyes to blind them before killing them. D. Shock Jockey Fire a bit of electricity out of your palms at your enemy to shock them into paralysis. E. Psy-Sarean A toot of your magic flute summons a small Korean pop star inside your baddie, who disables them by dancing out of their stomach. ANSWERS:

C and E are made up. Sorry.

06.13

Comedown Machine
Music

A milder Strokes on its fifth album.

Ming Bridges
This saccharine-sweet Eurasian singer is making waves in the Mando-pop community. Allow us to introduce her to you.
Since young, I have always loved listening to Mandarin songs. They have the ability to evoke emotions within me, even making me cry sometimes without fully understanding the lyrics. I love the melodies and when I started to understand the lyrics more, I realised how hauntingly beautiful the metaphors were. I’m fascinated by the Mandarin idioms and only hope that I can write such deep lyrics one day. My debut Mandarin album is entitled Ming Tian/Ming Day, a play on words with my name and “ming tian” (“tomorrow” in Mandarin). It means no matter how your day was today, there’s always tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day and a chance to start afresh. I want people to always look on the bright side and be happy. I started intensive Mandarin lessons only last year, although I did dabble in a bit of Mandarin singing when I was 14. I remember singing a Jolin Tsai song at Teenage Icon, a singing competition that I went on to win. At that time, I was told that sticking to English music might be my best bet. There is no set process to songwriting. It just happens and each time it gets penned a different way. As my Mandarin still isn’t that good, I was fortunate to have (lyricist) Xiao Han’s help. I hope one day my Mandarin will be good enough to self-produce all my songs. I’m not going to lie; there are some lyrics that I had to use Google Translator to find out how to say what I really wanted to say! I’d love to speak and sing in Malay. My mum speaks Malay and five other languages. No pressure but once I master Mandarin, I’d have a go at Malay. I did sing Chan Mali Chan once in an Ivan Heng production. I love acting but singing and songwriting will always be my first love. Singing is very personal; it’s all me — my feelings, my story. I listen to every type of music. Have a peek into my iTunes and you will find music from Slipknot to Britney Spears to acoustic folk — and even classical pieces and movie scores. I’m an absolute mess but I love it all. I love alternative rock most, though. It will always be my go-to genre. I have absolutely no idea that I have more “likes” on Facebook than FHM, but I’m so happy that I’m able to share my music with more people. It’s amazing. And I love talking to my fans so… More friends! I’ve sung and belly-danced in front of David and Victoria Beckham. That was pretty fun! And Lord Coe, too, when Britain got to host the Olympics in Singapore. Ming Tian/Ming Day is out now. If you’ve been a long-time Strokes fan and have listened to its latest release, you’re probably wondering what on earth happened. While not a complete radical departure from its signature garage-rock identity, the overall sound of the band’s newest effort is a lot cleaner and less likely to strike a nerve. Another puzzling aspect is the creative decision to swap lead singer Julian Casablancas’ distinctly cool “I really don’t give a toss” vocals for a whiny indie-driven falsetto — especially noticeable on One Way Trigger and Chances. There’s a time and place for everything; maybe that place really isn’t on a Strokes album. That said, Comedown Machine does have redeeming qualities. The defining elements that made The Strokes so special in its early years are still evident: Reverberating drums, choppy guitar riffs spinning in wild circles and bass lines that work its way into your brain, staying for days. Tracks like Welcome to Japan and 50/50 do exactly that; Playing up the moodier vibes and garage-rock grit — and this is where The Strokes shine. The trick to Comedown Machine is not to go in with preconceived notions about the band. Because it’s not that it’s suddenly making bad music, it’s just not the type of music long-time fans are used to. If you can drop the expectations, there is still enough of The Strokes to identify with. Comedown Machine is out now.
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Music

WORDS: MITCHELL PEREIRA & JANINE LEE

06.13
a different language. I can’t tell you what they are, though. Otherwise, people would know what language I talk to my dog in. Have you ever successfully stared somebody out? Yeah, we used to play that game when I was little. I was good at it, but I’m sure I lost a couple of times, too. Have you ever worn a trilby? Yeah, I think I’ve worn one before. It might have been for a video or a photo shoot or something. Those are some pimp hats, d’yall not think so?

Air Force One

“I’m very proud of my manhood. There’s no reason to trash that!”
Have you ever taken a girl on a date using a discount code or voucher code? I think I’ve used gift vouchers for the movies or some s**t on a date. That would have been a long time ago, though. Have you ever thrown a punch and missed? Of course! First time I threw a punch when I was boxing, I missed completely. I got trained up by Floyd Mayweather’s family, though, so it didn’t stay that way for long. Have you ever followed through on a particularly exuberant fart? Oh, for sure. That’s definitely happened. Not recently, though — back when I was younger. Have you ever made growling noises at yourself in the mirror? [Laughs] When I was a little kid trying to be The Hulk or some s**t like that, perhaps. How do you behave at barbecues? You could definitely say that I party and go hard. Anyone that’s been to one of mine will tell you I throw a great barbecue. Have you ever let a girl put makeup on you? F**k, no! That’s one of the things that I don’t do. We do movies, so we have a makeup artist to do certain s**t, but I’ve never let them put makeup on me. Not even for music videos. Have you ever killed anything and then eaten it? Er, no I’ve not. Apart from a fish. That would be the only the thing. Have you ever had a really manly nickname? I used to be in a group called the Loudmouth Hooligans with four friends when I was in high school. That’s the closest I’ve got to a nickname. Have you ever put your penis through your legs and pretended to be a girl? [Laughs] No, but I’ve heard about people doing that s**t. I’m very proud of my manhood. There’s no reason to trash that!

Ludacris
What is the biggest thing you’ve ever set fire to? Probably a big blunt in Amsterdam; it was in my Blueberry Yum Yum video. Long story short, it was six regular blunts put together, making one huge-ass blunt. Do you own any coloured jeans? Yeah, I do. I have some white jeans because I’ve
092 06/13

Man

The American rapper and Fast & Furious 6 actor has the swagger, but will it be enough to get him through these 14 questions?

thrown all-white parties before. As a matter of fact, I just did one for LudaDay Weekend [a day in Atlanta named after him]. It’s one of those things where white is a representation of being so fresh and so damn clean. Have you ever spent a significant amount of time talking to an animal? I have a black Belgian malinois, which is in the German shepherd family, and I talk to him a lot. He’s very well trained. All of his commands are in

Look out for Ludacris’ new album Ludaversal later this year. You can also catch him in man flick, Fast & Furious 6.

WORDS: FHM UK. PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PICTURES

06.13

Michelle Rodriguez
She’s fast and she’s furious.
A decade on, the Fast & Furious franchise is still going strong. Do you have a cult fan base among street-racers? Yes, for sure. But I don’t think it’s so much “cult” at this point; it’s more pop culture. It started PG and is still PG. “Cult” would have been more like a Rob Rodriguez film, or more like Resident Evil — the darker stuff where you get to see naked people and boobies. What’s new in the latest sequel, Fast & Furious 6 (FF6)? I think it wanted to go more for the big “wow!” factor, like “How much s**t can we possibly destroy?” or “What’s the craziest s**t we could possibly do with our location?” And I believe it accomplished that really well. Do movies these days demand bigger action scenes? That is what happens when people don’t understand what storytelling is about. When the writer doesn’t understand that, he starts to explore explosions and s**t to blow up, and “What can we do that hasn’t been done before?” That’s what people do when they don’t have the creativity to understand heart in a story. I am looking at it from another perspective, of listening to stories, reading stories, being intrigued by mythology and so on. I have worked in the action movie world for the last 13 years and that’s my world so I can tell exactly when somebody is running out of ideas. What can you tell us about your fight scenes in FF6? I trained for about a month-and-ahalf for the fight with Gina [Carano, MMA fighter]. More girls should be fighting. We’d probably get along a lot better and stop sneaking behind each other’s backs and talking smack while smiling in one another’s faces. If we were a little more physical about it, we’d respect each other a lot more and men wouldn’t take over the way that they have! I had to train pretty damn hard just to make it look credible. I mean it’s Gina and she’s pretty hardcore.

Woman

“More girls should be fighting. We’d probably get along better.”
You see how big she is? I stand in front of her and I’m like, “I should drink some protein, dude!” How do you deal with the testosterone level on the set? Oh, man, I swim in that stuff. I’ve been doing this for way too long. It doesn’t faze me anymore. Vin [Diesel] is a pussycat with me. He is a sweetheart. And so is Dwayne [Johnson]. He is really cool. I’d like to hang out with him more. I don’t have enough scenes with him. I grew up watching WWE and The Rock. That’s my world so whenever I see him, it’s surreal. Not many people impress me because I was a physical kid when I was younger. But I actually feel Dwayne’s muscles every time I see him. It is true. They are like rocks.

WORDS AND PHOTOS: UIP

Who’s the toughest? In a street sense, I’d say Vin. In the training sense, in a capacity sense, I’d say Dwayne because he has been wrestling for so long and he trains every day. Why has director Justin Lin been so good for this franchise? It’s important that a director is able to be calm. Justin has to play the mediator, to make everybody happy enough with the story because you get this fear that you are going to lose the heart, the integrity, and it is just going to be a bunch of explosions. And I don’t want to be a part of that, because I have been in this business so long. I don’t want to make the movie without any heart. So Justin is good at bringing us all together and making us believe in what we are doing. You sound like your character. How much of Letty is in you? Well, she’s more LA-Mexican. I am more the New York-Jersey type; I am more Sopranos, baby! Fast & Furious 6 opens 23 May.
06/13 093

06.13

Watchable Five
Kua si me?!?
Here’s a bunch of movies recently released on discs to bring your through those mundane nights.
The Master A near-masterpiece by director Paul Thomas Anderson (There Will Be Blood). Inspired by Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard, it's about a war vet who falls for the charisma and ideology of a leader of a religious movement. Did You Know? The score is penned by Radiohead’s Jonny Greenwood.

DVD

Bruce Campbell’s Finest
Monster-slaying cult hero and producer of the new Evil Dead, discusses his ultimate horror-survival dream team.
WORDS: FHM UK. PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PICTURES

Movies

Rise of the Guardians Even guys need a cartoon break. How about a Avengerslike kiddie tale where household fantasy figures such as Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Sandman and Jack Frost join fists to beat the s**t out of the Bogeyman? Yeah! Did You Know? The animation is Peter Ramsey’s directorial debut for a film.

Life of Pi See how a tiger, a teenager and a server full of digital effects bagged Ang Lee an Oscar for best director. Did You Know? A storm scene won it an MTV Movie Award for Best Scared-As-S**t Performance, beating Texas Chainsaw 3D and Zero Dark Thirty. No s**t.

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06/13

WORDS: DENNIS YIN

David Beckham “He’s definitely the pretty boy that goes first, but he’s athletic and a useful tool. He’s nice on the eyes for the ladies, but I’d kill him off in the first 10 minutes. A good first victim.”

Prince Harry “Harry’s got some great chopperpilot skills. He seems like a good guy, too. He likes to party, so he can raise our spirits. And the chicks like him, so he’d be very popular.”

Jennifer Lawrence “You need at least one hot babe. Jennifer Lawrence came out of nowhere, but she seems pretty interesting. She’s tough as well.”

Bill Belichick “He’s the New England Patriots football coach, so he’d help work out a strategy if we were stuck in a cabin. He’s not ripped, he can’t fight, but I’d need his mind to help us survive until the end.”

Brad Pitt “I’d need a Fight Club-era Pitt — he was hot s**t then. I’d kill him off after Beckham. Your audience will think he’ll be around till the end, then — BAM! — he’s dead, it’s just Campbell and the chick left.”

Killing Them Softly A neo-noir crime thriller based on novel Cogan’s Trade. Not Brad Pitt’s best work but it’ll make his new World War Z look like The Silence of the Lambs. Did You Know? The shotgun used by Pitt, Mossberg 500 “Cruiser”, has also been featured in A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas.

Back to 1942 Directed by Feng Xiaogang, who made FHM weep with his 2010 earthquake epic Aftershock, Back to 1942 is another catastrophe drama about a major famine in China. Did You Know? The Mainland film co-stars Tim Robbins and Adrien Brody.

06.13

Righteous Journeys
Everyone has to take one at some point in their lives.
The Daylight Gate Jeanette Winterson Following a failed assassination on him, King James “cleanses” his kingdom by outlawing witchcraft, alchemy and Catholicism. Blending history with fiction, the novel walks us through the witch trials of 1612 and promises to be devious.

The Stag and Hen Weekend
Books
Double the read, double the fun.
As the title may suggest, this book could be misconstrued as a story about weekends with animals. In a way it is, since we all exhibit our wildest side on stag ’dos. What’s novel about this novel, however, is it features two flipside covers and two stories, representing both bride- and groom-to-be. The hook: You can start reading from either side. We suggest reading both ends simultaneously so you get a simultaneous climax. But, hey, that’s just us. Despite the double perspectives, author Mike Gayle manages to spin a simple yet charming book without repetition on each tale, plus he manages to squeeze in a suspenseful climax. For those about to make life’s biggest decision — where and what to do for your stag ’do, that is — watch The Hangover trilogy. Or read this book.
WORDS: MITCHELL PEREIRA

George Anderson: Notes for a Love Song in Imperial Time Peter Dimock A tiny yet a “heavy” read. We get little traces of the author’s personality and ideals through the narration of protagonist, ghostwriter Theo Fales, who earns a living whitewashing the transgressions of former generals and CIA operatives.

That Smell and Notes from Prison Sonallah Ibrahim Banned in 1966 for its politically damning portrayal of Egypt, That Smell takes us through the imprisonment years of a political dissident. Nearly 50 years on, the writings are translated and coupled with notes written on cigarette paper and smuggled out of jail upon the author’s release.

My Beautiful Bus Jacques Jouet The author lets us in on his encounters during a cross-country bus ride in France. Jacques ignored scenery and visual stimulation in pursuit of the stories and people he met. A perfect read for a long journey — especially when the MRT breaks down.
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05 Ice Hockey

05 PULSE

Ice Hockey

Played by real men.

10 Winter Heroes 17 News

Overcoming the odds in subzero temperatures.

The latest fitness gear.

18 HEDONISM
We show you how.

Upgrade Your Morning Coffee

20 Seven Eats

One for every day of the week.

22 British Beers 24 Chang Beer

They make ’em real tasty.

One of Asia’s best.

25 Girlfriend

What women think about your underwear.

10

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17 18

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REAL SPORTSMEN WHO LOVE THEIR GAME

PULSE

PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANCE: AARON LOW AND JILLIAN TAN.

ICE HOCKEY
It's more than just a bunch of guys in an ice rink — they sometimes trade blows, too. Ice hockey is a high-level, hardhitting sport and it's the pride of Canada.

Words: Mitchell Pereira Art direction: Dannii Choo Photography: Mark Teo

06
08/2012

C

REGIME

anada is known for many things but mainly maple syrup, (like it or not) Justin Bieber and ice hockey. It is also known for its graciousness, but one wrong word about their hockey team and Canadians would throw down their stick, lose the gloves and beat the reason into you (basically, they’d hit you and then apologise). Bearing that in mind, FHM treaded cautiously into the studio for the photo with the players from Kreuz Subsea Sharks only to be surrounded by some of the friendliest sportsmen around. What teams do you guys play for? Josh McNair: We were thrown together to form the team Kreuz Subsea Sharks, as part of Singapore Invitational Ice Hockey Tournament. We're from all over the place and play at different levels. For example, Todd Warriner is a former National Hockey League (NHL) player. Todd Warriner: Yeah, I used to play in the NHL until 2003. I’ve played for Tampa Bay Lightning, Toronto Maple Leafs and Vancouver Canucks, just to name a few. Most of these guys have played tier-two hockey or college hockey back home, so it's a pretty high level. Plus, they're a lot younger than me! Is ice hockey Canada's leading sport? All: For sure! 100 per cent. Evan Haga: Every Canadian boy dreams to play at the NHL. TW: If you turn on the TV, you're going to find hockey somewhere on it; it's really everywhere. How did you guys get into ice hockey? JM: My uncle played in the NHL, so, naturally, my brother and I were put into it. TW: I started playing on the pond just like these guys. I grew up watching the [Toronto Maple] Leafs and got a chance to play there. My mum was a pro figureskater and my dad played senior hockey, so I got on the ice a lot at a young age and moved up through the ranks before being drafted into the NHL. JM: It's a cultural thing; people just get going at ice hockey. Some stick with it longer and go to the

"Hockey is my life; it's in my blood and will always be." — Todd Warriner

"Ice hockey can be summed up in three simple words: Wheel, snipe and celly." — Evan Haga

NHL; others play juniors, get scholarships, then go to college. Adam Hercules: When I was young, I had a hockey stick and loved it. Growing up, I had a lot of buddies to play with, too. Mark McKitrick: I was the first guy in my family to play hockey. It was completely new to them, but it's a good sport. How seriously do kids in Canada take ice hockey? JM: Very seriously. Unlike basketball or soccer, you can't just pick up the game as and when you like. The gear is really expensive and your parents have to take you to the rink every morning (practice starts at 6.30am) and to school after that. You'll also have games after school. On weekends, you'll be out of town for tournaments. It's crazy.

"Ice hockey is a way of life until you can fill that void with another passion, which is often impossible." — Josh McNair

over. We've all played with guys whom we've fought with and had a beer after. For most parts, it's friendly and part of the sport. You fight on the ice, you become enemies on the ice, but after the game, it doesn't get carried into the dressing room or parking lot. Very rarely does it escalates and carried on after the game. Why do you fight? JM: Because the game is competitive and heated; there's a lot of physicality involved. You get a lot of hits and a lot of stick, so it's only natural to want to return the favour. Because it's part of the game, there are people on the team whose role is to fight. If you ever have a finesse guy who’s a goal scorer, the fighter is there to protect him and make sure he doesn’t get hurt. What's the penalty for fighting? All: You're taken out of the game for five minutes. After five minutes, you can get back in the game and fight again? TW: Yeah, but you only get about two more fights and you’re out. Twenty-five years

08
08/2012

TW: It's nothing for a 14-yearold boy to play 60 to 70 games in a six-month period. Kids now even play right through summer; they have special training centres where they get 24/7 hockey. It's very intense. What's the difference between field hockey and ice hockey? J: I've tried field hockey and broke my wrist. I've never played it since. EH: It's different; you can only shoot one way because of the rounded club… JM: And the speed and hits are different. TW: You can go a lot faster in skates, too… EH: And ice hockey is for lazy people! You can glide. How often do fights break out? Chris Gelencser: It happens at every game! JM: But it usually ends after the game is

"You wake up in the morning and have three things on your mind: Women, alcohol and hockey. They go hand in hand." — Adam Hercules

REGIME
"Ice hockey has always been more to me then a sport. It changed my life and provided me with memories I will never forget." — Chris Gelencser

ICE HOCKEY 101 Things you need to know
about the sport.
ICE HOCKEY RINK
The rink is segmented into three zones: Defensive, neutral and attacking. There are three lines (one red, two blue) to determine further rules, mainly "icing" and "offside".

CLOCK
There are three periods, each lasting 20 minutes. The clock is stopped every time a stoppage occurs — much like every other American sport.

PLAYERS
Each team consists of six players (two defenders, three forwards and one goaltender). You can make unlimited substitutions as long as the outgoing player is five feet from the bench.

BODY CHECK
ago, there used to be two or three fights a game, but they’re cutting it down. There are less fighters and less fighting as the sport changes. How many bones have you broken from ice hockey? EH: Every bone in my hand. JM: I broke my wrists, back, hip, ankle, elbow, jaw, nose (five times) and a couple of fingers. TW: My nose. My ligaments have taken a lot of bruising, too. Do you see Asians making an impact in the icehockey scene? JM: They need more time. EH: They also need more rinks, more facilities and more training. TW: Japan has always been competitive but Korea is maybe the next up-and-coming country. JM: It all comes down to development. Most kids’ coaches, for the most part, have played top-league hockey. And guys that have played regularly are teaching them. The kids are on the ice five to six times a week. TW: Japan is in the second tier, just outside the top 10 teams in the league. So that’s not too bad.
It's legal to tackle an opposing player in possession of the puck using your torso, shoulders or hip. Anything else is illegal.

SCORING
Ice hockey goals can be scored from anywhere on the ice.

MINOR PENALTIES
When you do illegal things with a stick, like swinging it between someone's legs, you get sent to the sin bin for two minutes. The penalty ceases if opponents score during the period of his sentence.

"People ask, 'Are hockey fights real?' I say, 'If they weren't, I'd get in more of them'." — Mark McKitrick

MAJOR PENALTIES
Happens when a foul is deemed to be deliberately harmful. You get sent to the sin bin for five minutes. Players may get ejected at the referee's discretion, forcing a substitution. The incoming player has to then pay for his teammate's wayward ways.

EQUIPMENT
Like mediaeval jousting, ice hockey players are decked in full regalia, from helmets to shoulder pads to shin pads. Goaltenders wear chest protectors made from Kevlar to absorb abuse.

ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE
10
06/2013

Conquering the world's most remote locations isn't just for "other people" - meet the ordinary blokes who took on planet Earth's harshest extremes… And won!

I CLIMBED EVEREST… AND MY EYES FROZE!
Paul Keleher (left), a 29-year-old personal trainer from Surrey, England, hadn't even been on a mountain at the start of 2011. But on 25 May 2012, he was updating his Facebook profile with a shot of him grinning from the 29,029ft summit of Mount Everest. Here's how he reached the top of the world.
I needed a challenge to experience what’s out there, so I decided to get to the summit of Everest in a year. I had never even climbed before. Things like rowing the Atlantic had no appeal, but climbing Everest seemed incredible. I read books about Sir Edmund Hillary and modern climbers but I tried not to be influenced by other people’s journeys. I wanted this to be as much my own story as possible. The hike through the Khumbu Valley of Nepal to Everest base camp is unbelievable. Walking through the most beautiful peaks in the world was quite spiritual. Trekking to base camp is a manageable and inspiring challenge in itself. When you climb from base camp, the most dangerous part is the Khumbu icefall, which is full of crevasses and giant seracs [towers of ice] that topple over. The western shoulder of Everest is vulnerable to avalanches. I had to travel through a

PULSE

Keleher at the summit of Everest. On the way down, his cornea froze and he spent 24 hours in bandages.

whiteout so I couldn’t see more than 10m ahead and kept hearing creaks and groans. It’s very freaky. A lot of people died on the mountain this year and you had to walk past those bodies. I saw a Sherpa being rescued from a crevasse after falling off a ladder. It can be difficult emotionally. Summiting Everest actually involves a mix of head-down Himalayan slogs, ladders, ropes and climbs. It’s different to what people think. I never left base camp without Haribo sweets. They were an essential for every day. We set off for the summit at 8pm, and after 8-9 hours of darkness, the sun rose. It was like pulling a page back slowly to see the whole world beneath you. You’re exhausted, dehydrated and hallucinating from the lack of oxygen but the views were mesmerising. I unfurled an Olympic flag on the summit, but getting a photo in the wind wasn’t easy. After 10 minutes at the top you refocus: You’re only halfway and you need to get down alive. On the descent my cornea froze and I had to spend 24 hours with bandages over my eyes. It

was a horrific scratchy, stabbing feeling but it improved and I made it down. Looking back, climbing Everest doesn’t seem real; you feel like part of a special club. I’m now giving talks and am completely addicted to climbing. What I really wish I’d known before going… “You have to really want it and show your passion. I noticed the more enthusiasm you have, the more sponsors trust in you and the stronger you feel on the mountain.”

dosummitgood.co.uk

WORDS: MARK BAILEY. PHOTOGRAPHY: ANDY PARSONS.

FIRST STEPS HOW YOU CAN CONQUER YOUR OWN EVEREST ADVENTURE…

PIMP UP YOUR SHERPA SKILLS
Sadly, there isn’t a giant elevator with panpipe Rihanna music to whizz you up to the summit of Everest, so you’ll need to learn to climb. “I did all this in a year by going mountaineering in Chamonix and learning climbing skills in the Peak District or Swanage,” says Keleher, who used Dream Guides and Adventure Consultants for his Euro climbs, and Ice 8000 for Everest.

GET MOUNTAINS OF MUSCLE
Training isn’t all about scaling mountains with a backpack full of bricks. “I focused on weight training, so I was as strong as possible because most people lose a stone of muscle on the expedition,” explains Keleher. Bulk up in the gym and you’ll prime your body for Everest and look good when you boast about it in the pub.

BE YOUR OWN AGENT
Climbing Everest isn’t cheap ($42,000$88,000) so get somebody else to pay for it. “I got a brochure made up, worked out costs and passed it on to businesses to gain sponsorship,” says Keleher. Sharpen up your Angel’s Gate pitches too: Keleher took up 100 watch dials, which will be converted into limited-edition Everest timepieces.

YOUR PLAN B
Try tackling a 17-day Base Camp trek with Exodus ($3,300, Exodus.co.uk) or conquering the Everest Marathon ($5,300, everest marathon.org. uk) so you can ogle Everest without losing fingertips, or wads of cash.

I TREKKED TO THE SOUTH POLE AND GOT DRUNK!

Cookson with all his life-saving kit and an ironing board.

Henry Cookson, 37, from London, had worked as a banker and a builder, and hadn't even done a sponsored walk before tackling the poles. But with gritty determination (and morale-boosting games of "laxative roulette" with his polar pals), he has now conquered both the Arctic and Antarctica.

I got into polar adventure by accident. I was in between jobs and a stupid conversation with a friend got us talking about the North Pole. There was alcohol involved. The next day we thought, f**k it, why not? I didn’t even know which ends of the world penguins and polar bears lived. When we tried cross-country skiing we just fell over. We entered the Polar Challenge, a 360-mile race to the magnetic North Pole — you just pay a fee and they provide the kit and training. We were totally written off — we were against Arctictrained Marines, while we spent our time in nightclubs — but we won. Our secret was our determination and ridiculous humour. The more painful the sores and bleeding blisters, the more your private parts

chafed, the funnier it got. We put frozen polar-bear s**t in a sleeping bag, which was funny until it thawed. Mentally, if you’re unhappy you’ll just stop. But laughing kept us strong. We then heard of the Pole of Inaccessibility (POI), which is at the geographical centre of Antarctica. Nobody had been there since a 1958 Soviet Antarctic Expedition that used tracked snow-trains. They left a hut with a statue of Lenin so we organised an expedition with kite-skis to find it. The POI is much colder than the South Pole. It is at a higher altitude and further from the warming ocean. The coldest temperature ever recorded was minus 89.2 deg C at Vostok, 600 miles away. It is a lonely but spectacularly beautiful place. When someone’s lips cracked, we’d make them laugh so it hurt more. Some mornings we’d play laxative roulette with bowls of porridge and see who lost. After 1,000 miles and 50 days of suffering, we found Lenin. I still get a fuzzy feeling remembering that moment. I spent two days digging an 18ft shaft to get into the buried hut but it was locked. I had a massive temper tantrum. I have to go back.

We entered the Guinness Book of Records as the first people to get there on foot. The guys at the Russian base, Progress, thought we were heroes for uncovering Lenin. We finished with nine days on an icebreaker with Russian sailors, drinking home-brew spirits, and fell onto the dock in Cape Town. What I really wish I’d known before going… “Winds are worse than the cold. The wind lifted me up and crashed me down and left me with bruised ribs. I had to hit the morphine and ended up puking.”

Visit Henry Cookson Adventures at henrycookson.com

FIRST STEPS HOW YOU CAN REACH THE ENDS OF THE EARTH…

LEARN POLAR SKILLS
If your only icy experience is getting fish fingers out of the freezer, man up. “We trained with oldfashioned tyredragging for six hours on the Fosse Way in Gloucestershire, normally with a hangover,” says Cookson. “Also cross-country skiing in the Alps and musclebuilding with PowerPlate machines.”

PLAN OR DIE
You can only piss about if you know your stuff. “Explorer Roald Amundsen said adventure is just down to bad planning,” says Cookson, who stresses the importance of logistics, sponsorship, training and getting a skilled guide like “the polar Jedi” Paul Landry (polarconsultants.com).

EAT FOR QUEEN AND COUNTRY
You should be on firstname terms with your local McDonald’s staff before you go. “A lean athlete won’t last long in a polar environment as you use more calories than you consume, and weight gives you insulation against the cold and traction on your skis.” Tough gig…

YOUR PLAN B
Begin your polar career more gently with the Polar Circle Marathon in Greenland ($420 entry, polarcircle-marathon. com) or splash some cash and join Cookson on a four-day Northern Light Arctic Experience with wolf encounters and dog-sledding ($8,200, henrycookson.com).

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PULSE
"We put frozen polar-bear s**t in a sleeping bag, which was funny until it thawed."

I SWAM THE ARCTIC… IN MY PANTS!
Dan Martin, a 31-year-old teacher from Peterborough, England, was "never much of a swimmer" but discovered his chunky physique could be converted into an awesome adventure-swimming machine. He has braved Arctic waters, the North Sea and the icy lakes of Britain in search of winter thrills.
I swim outdoors all winter and the last few have been pretty entertaining with the amount of snow and ice. At first, it feels like agony. Nothing will cure your hangover better. But it’s addictive; you get an amazing buzz and it makes you feel alive. Ninety per cent of winter swimming is psychological. The fun comes from overriding your brain and mastering your own body. It’s like winning a fight. You get a huge endorphin rush. Winter swimming is the anti-sport: It’s great for guys with a bit of blubber, which buffers your organs against the cold, and the worse your technique, the more heat you generate, which helps. It’s awesome having a frog’s eye view of the world. You get to explore amazing locations, and otters, fish and other wildlife aren’t scared of you. Sadly, neither are sharks or jellyfish. I had to wear a device with an electro-magnetic pulse to deter sharks. I once swam above the Arctic Circle off the coast of Andoya in Norway. I saw a BBC documentary, Human Planet, which showed reindeer being herded into the ocean and swimming across to the other side. Everybody swims with dolphins, so two weeks later, I flew over to swim with reindeer — just to be different. There was five feet of snow, so sadly the reindeer didn’t show. I am officially tougher than a reindeer. Swimming in beautiful, remote Arctic scenery surrounded by mountains and snow was amazing. I was once so cold that I lost feeling in my hand and the skin of my leg. I couldn’t understand what was hitting me until I realised it was just my dead hand. I avoid warm showers and warm drinks before a swim to tell my body to keep producing heat. Wetsuits are for weaklings. And they don’t work. Your body is telling your brain you’re warm so it keeps pumping hot blood to your extremities. That’s why people in wetsuits find their face, hands and feet sting. Also, smothering yourself in duck fat doesn’t help. I swam in Loch Ness a few years ago. The light plays tricks on you so you think a massive scaly monster is swimming underneath you.

No bombing, no running, no heavy petting and no wetsuits unless you’re a total wuss.

Once you’ve been swimming in freezing water, you feel like you can achieve anything. I’m now hunting sponsorship to swim, bike and run around the world in the first-ever Global Triathlon. What I really wish I’d known before going… “If your thumb can’t touch your little finger because you’re too cold, or you start suffering from ‘fumbles, stumbles or mumbles’ it’s time to get out.”

danmartinextreme.com

FIRST STEPS HOW YOU CAN SURVIVE YOUR OWN WINTER SWIM…

ESCAPE CHLORINATED CAPTIVITY
Paddling in pools on a sunny afternoon full of toddler piss won’t help you. “Your body can be trained to stay warm so acclimatisation with cooler swimming pools is key,” says Martin. “Start with 30 seconds, then 40 and keep building up.”

EASE YOURSELF IN
Yep, getting in is the hard part. “I have a mantra: ‘Warm like a whale, smooth like a seal, brave like a lion’, which I repeat to keep my mental focus,” says Martin. “Never dive in. Go up to your knees, then before the water hits your balls, launch in and swim like mad.”

FIND THE WARM BIT OF THE ARCTIC
The Lofoten Islands in Norway are north of the Arctic Circle but, thanks to the Gulf Stream, the waters are warmer than other Arctic areas. Sign up for a luxury six-day swimming expedition ($6,700, coninghamrolls.com) or fly via Oslo to nearby Harstad/ Narvik ($165 from London Gatwick, norwegian.com) and start shivering.

YOUR PLAN B
If the Arctic seems too mental, man up for a winter swim instead. Check out UK's Outdoor Swimming Society website for events like the December Dip. Freeze your nuts off then thaw out at your hotel with blankets and booze.

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PULSE
"Winter swimming is the anti-sport: It's great for guys with a bit of blubber ."

I JUMPED OUT OF A CHOPPER AND SKIED HOME!
Paddy Graham, a supertalented 24-year-old British freestyle skier, grew up bombing down indoor slopes in Sheffield, England, but he now has enough stunts and tricks to mix it with Europe's best. When he's not competing, he loves the crazy adventures of heli- and backcountry skiing.
The best thing about backcountry and heli-skiing is that you don’t have much control over nature, and that’s part of the fun. It’s not neatly arranged — you’re in the wild and you have to step out of your comfort zone. It takes you to the most beautiful places in the world. You’re alone with nature. Well, nature and a million pound helicopter… On my last trip to Canada we got a helicopter tow-in, which means the heli can’t land on the mountain so it sticks its nose down and hovers and you have to get out smoothly. If you get out too quickly, it messes up the balance of the helicopter. It was pretty scary. A few years ago we wanted to film some pillows — stairs of snow which you land on and bounce off onto the next. The cameraman cut in front of where I was going to drop and because it was so unstable, the first step fell off and, like a domino effect, it ripped through the woods, taking down all these 20m trees. I learned to ski on Sheffield’s indoor slopes when I was 12. It proves you can

achieve anything. I was hundreds of miles away from mountains and now this is my job. I was in an America vs Europe contest in Chile recently and among all these skiers from Scandinavia, Germany and Switzerland. It was nice being known as the guy from the UK who can do cool things.

What I wish I’d known before going… “If you see a sign that says ‘don’t ski here’, don’t ski there. Go with a guide to keep you safe and show you the best places.”

Paddy Graham was part of Red Bull’s High Performance Camp.

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FIRST STEPS HOW YOU CAN PLAN YOUR OWN OFF-PISTE SKI ADVENTURE…

TURN UP SKI-FIT
To smash a day of heli- or backcountry skiing, you need to be very fit. “I need to hike around all day, with the strength to land 30m jumps and a strong core,” says Graham, who recommends mountain biking for fitness, squats for beefy pins and trampolining for killer abs and aerial awareness.

DON'T GO TOO FAST
Somersaulting downhill isn’t cool. “Slowly learn your skills with both easy and hard runs,” says Graham. When you’re ready, hit the heli-skiing in Courmayeur, Italy ($540, guidecourmayeur.com).

GET KITTED OUT
Never jump out of a helicopter unless you have a bag full of kit and warm clobber. Graham takes thermals, snow jacket, helmet, goggles, gloves, shovel, beacon, emergency blanket, knife and a backpack with a built-in airbag, which will help you survive if you get smashed by an avalanche. Maybe.

YOUR PLAN B
If dropping out of a chopper sounds like a recipe for soiled pants, warm up with some normal backcountry ski fun in Davos Klosters ($1,140, lineupexplorers.com)

SPORTS COMPANY
Better your fitness regimen with these accessories.

NEWS
WATCH PILOTS
VivoBarefoot Breatho Trail
If you are bent on tackling the toughest terrains, make sure you do it with the right footwear. This ultralightweight walker features puncture-resistant soles and quick-drying mesh to keep your feet happy. $159; authorised retailers.

Stay on course with these navigational timepieces.

ColumBia SingleTrak
Trakback technology lets you set a forward target bearing on the compass. Point watch in desired direction, press button and a blinking triangle will point to the set bearing. $213; Tangs VivoCity and Columbia Sportswear outlets.

Zoot Ultra 2.0 CRx Compression
If you take your sports and well-being seriously, suit up in Zoot wear, designed to provide optimal muscle stability and postural support, while reducing fatigue during workouts. Can be worn for various sports, from running to biking to golfing. From $169; Running Lab outlets and Summit Sports at The Centrepoint.

Nike BomBa Finale II
Rule the artificial turf with this outstanding street-soccer shoe: The polyurethane skin-layered mesh is light, while All-Condition Control (ACC) technology offers consistent ball control in wet/dry conditions. $159; Nike stores.

TURF ENOUGH
Nike+ Sportwatch GPS
In flashy white, this TomTompowered watch clocks location, time, pace and distance. Comes with motivational messages. $279; Harvey Norman

KT Tape Pro
Endure rigorous workouts with this improved 100-per-cent synthetic kinesiology tape that relieves stability and support for joints by providing an external layer of reinforcement. Its strong adhesive stays in place even in water and humidity. $36 (box of 20 strips); Running Lab outlets and Summit Sports at The Centrepoint.

TomTom Runner
Offers GPS navigation, onebutton control and extra-large, high-resolution display. Price unavailable; authorised retailers.

WORDS: DENNIS YIN

COOL LS ERIA MAT

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FHM LOVES

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UPGRADE YOUR

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MORNING COFFEE
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BREWS FROM THE FUTURE Everyone needs a coffeemaker that looks like a spaceman’s helmet. It just looks great, y’know. Nescafé Dolce Gusto Circolo (model sold in Singapore is by Krups), $269, authorised retailers.

It's dark and near impossible to haul yourself out of bed in the mornings. But change all that with a huge caffeine blast and our pick of the coolest coffee gear around.

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MAKE IT FASTER Mornings may always be a mad rush, but set aside at least four minutes for brewing, plunging and drinking out of this all-in-one mug. Bodum Travel Press, $29.80, authorised retailers.

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GRIND IT YOURSELF Grinding beans releases flavour, so you’ll get a fresher cup of coffee. Karyatis Brass Coffee Mill, $40, amazon.co.uk TASTE TO POOP Why rely on humans when you can place your trust in palm civets to poop out the very best kopi? It’s Earth’s rarest: Only 500kg of beans collected yearly. Enjoy a cup of kopi luwak ($38) at D Good Cafe at Holland Village.

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BREWS ON THE ROAD You’ve pulled up next to an ah beng in his Honda Civic. Make him quake in his kicks by flashing your freshly brewed espresso from this in-car machine. Handpresso Auto, $260, handpresso.com

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EAT LIKE A COP US cops have had doughnuts with their coffee since the justice system was enforced, so if they’re good enough for Chief Wiggum, they’re good enough for us.

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MAN UP YOUR BREW Add your coffee, top with boiling water, then plunge its arms down hard for a quick shot. Rok Espresso Machine, $245, rokkitchentools.com

POUND IT DOWN Heap your beans into a machine and compact them to within an inch of their lives. KitchenCraft Le’Xpress Coffee Tamper, $23, amazon.co.uk

COFFEE
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FYI
The little mustachioed man on the side of every Moka Express machine is its creator Alfonso Bialetti, who came up with the idea when watching his wife wash clothes with a really primitive washing machine.

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PHOTOGRAPHY: MARCO VITTUR

PUMP IT UP Never mind that it resembles a penis enlarger, this “syringe” makes a tasty cuppa by forcing the brew straight into your cup. AeroPress, $65, highlandercoffee.com KEEP IT FRESHER If you’re one to spill your beans all over the floor, here’s a solution to your clumsiness: An all-in-one wooden scoop with a bag sealer. Hile Kapu Scoop, $40, e-side.co.uk

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NERD OUT Ever wondered what Darth Vader’s favourite brew was? Unsure what a zarf is? Nerd out on all things coffee with this little book. A-Z Coffee book, $16, shop. roustaboutproducts.com

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THE PEOPLE'S FAVOURITE Nine-out-of-10 Italian homes have one of these iconic machines that make espresso shots. Bialetti Moka Express, $60, bialettishop.com DRINK DANGEROUSLY This packet contains the world’s strongest beans, with 200 per cent more caffeine than your average cuppa. Death Wish Coffee Beans, $23, deathwishcoffee.com

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BORN IN THE USA Dunkin Donuts sells 1.5 billion cups of coffee a year. That’s 30 cups a second! Dunkin’ Donuts Original Blend, $23, amazon.co.uk

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ROASTED BY RASTAS Blended by Bob Marley’s son Rohan, this smooth coffee is organic and sustainable. A portion of the profits go to charity. Marley Coffee, $16, marleycoffee.co.uk

SEE THE SCIENCE Make your coffee like Doc Brown from Back to the Future. This device works by pushing vapour pressure up through your coffee. Bodum Vacuum Coffee Maker, $105, amazon.co.uk

SEVEN EATS
A restaurant to try every day of the week.
SPATHE PUBLIC HOUSE
Mohamed Sultan has undergone a cosmetic change Woffles Wu would be proud of — from clubbing asylum to foodie haven. Spathe is a fully charged bohemian restaurant that brings rough street-charm to our dining experience. If you’ve never been to Brooklyn, New York, this might be your first taste of what it might be like, from its music playlist to wall murals to culinary options. Order: Looking for a bite before a night out at nearby Clarke Quay? We recommend the Meter Dog (veal and chicken spicy curry wurst, wasabi mayonnaise, caramelised onions and field greens; $18, individual portion, $55, if you’re sharing).

Opens Mon-Fri, 11am to 11pm; Sat, 9am to 11pm; Sun, 9am to 5pm. Mohamed Sultan Road, Tel: 6735-1035, www.spathepublichouse.com

STREET 50
Go around the world in one sitting at Bay Hotel’s revamped restaurant and bar. With an extensive menu featuring a mixed bag of international and local cuisine, and myriad options from seafood to poultry to pastas, pizzas and beyond, this place is like Globetrotter meets Iron Chef. The next time you feel like having Thai but your date wants Mexican, you know where to go. Order: The half-dozen mouclade mussels ($14) come drenched in white-wine egg sauce that is begging to be licked off the plate. The duck pot pie ($22) is topped with a crown of buttery, flaky golden puff pastry and is hearty comfort food at its best.

Opens daily, 6am to 10.30am, 12pm to 2.30pm, 6pm to 1030pm. Bay Hotel Singapore, 50 Telok Blangah Road, Tel: 6818-6681.

RICE AND FRIES
If hearty food, chill ambience and pocket-friendly prices are what you’re after when dining out, this hidden gem will make your weekend dinner plans that much more appealing. Helmed by hoteltrained chef Ken Chia, who gained his culinary cred working at the Ritz-Carlton and the Fullerton, the Western-inspired menu features comfort food that doesn’t compromise on quality. And the best part — prices are nett. Order: Start with the creamy and robust Forest Mushroom Cappuccino ($4.80), then work your way up to R&F’s famed lamb shank ($24.80). With tender, flavourful meat that falls off the bone, fans of lamb will feel like it’s Christmas, and nonfans will become converts — it really is that good.

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Opens daily, 5pm to 11pm. 484 Changi Road, Tel: 9738-6648, facebook.com/rice.fries.steak

HEDONISM
ORIGINAL SIN
If you, like us, shriek at the sight of a meal without a sliver of meat, then Original Sin is a perfect introduction to vegetarian cuisine. Despite it’s intimidating lack of meat, every dish is packed so full of flavour and heavy savoury bites, you’d barely remember you were eating just greens. Order: If you’re a burger-munching foodie, go straight for the Magic Mushroom (baked Portobello mushroom with ricotta cheese, spinach, pesto, topped with a tomato basil sauce and mozzarella; $18).

ITO KACHO
Fancy nothing better than a good grill-out? The new kid on the Asian BBQ block will give you something to write home about. The brand has been delighting Japanese palates since 2009, and it’s set to do the same with the flagship venture here. Featuring a selection of beautifully marbled imported wagyu cuts that’d make any gourmet butcher weep for joy, Ito Kacho brings Japan’s finest to you on a sizzling hot plate that — thanks to ventilation magic — won’t leave you smelling like a barbecue. Order: The Matsu set ($174) is a meat platter that lets you experience different cuts of wagyu and also kurobuta pork collar, accompanied by leeks, pumpkin and mushrooms. A la carte options are available if you decide to pick a favourite. Trust us, it won’t be easy.

Opens daily, 11.30am to 2.30pm, 6pm to 2.30pm. Blk 43, #01-62 Jalan Merah Saga, Chip Bee Gardens, Holland Village, Tel: 64755605 www.originalsin.com.sg

BURGER BAR
It’s the brainchild of radio DJs The Muttons, and Fatboys owner Bernie. This carnivorous joint incorporates signature Fatboys ingredients with “in” technology (iPads) to help you D-I-Y a burger according to your appetite and taste. Order: There’s no set menu; your chow is whatever you can imagine it to be. However there are certain ingredients unique to Burger Bar, such as peanut butter, caramelised bananas and pineapples.

Opens Mon to Fri, 11am to 2pm & 6pm to 11am; Sat to Sun, 11am to 11pm. #04-08 Mandarin Gallery, 333A Orchard Road, Tel: 6836-0111.

Opens Mon to Thu, 4pm to midnight; Fri to Sun, noon to midnight. #01-16 Far East Plaza, 14 Scotts Road, Tel: 6252-8780, www.fatboys.sg

TIM HO WAN
The lauded one-Michelin-star Hong Kong dim sum restaurant has finally made its way to our shores. With mile-long queues spotted in the first month of opening, expect Tim Ho Wan to bring its A-game to the dim sum party here. Hype aside, how does the food actually fare? We’re happy to report that it’s authentic, affordable and innovative — expect to see some dishes that aren’t mainstays in most local dim sum eatries. There’s even a separate takeaway counter, so you can beat the queue to grab and go. Order: The signature baked buns with BBQ pork ($4.50) consist of a delightful crumbly exterior and sweet-salty char siew filling, and the steamed egg cake ($3.80), which looks unassuming, is incredibly soft and fluffy with a distinct caramelised flavour.

WORDS: JANINE LEE & MITCHELL PEREIRA

Opens daily, 10am to 10pm. #01-29A Plaza Singapura Atrium, 68 Orchard Road, Tel: 63832828, facebook.com/timhowan

BEERS
YOU HAVE TO TRY
If beer were music, then most stuff coming out of the taps is bland, inoffensive pop created for the mass market. That's right: Most beer is basically Maroon 5. It's time to broaden your horizons. Here are three buckets full of craft beers from Britain that are worth your pint.
Imperial (10.5%) Dark Star From: West Sussex You like your beer strong? Then Dark Star is your guy. It started up in Brighton in 1994 with almost no equipment, brewing under a pub, and became a business almost by accident. Scarlet Fever (4.8%) Wild Beer From: Bristol Created by two mates in 2012, Wild Beer already has a rep for producing odd (they like to chuck around ingredients like toffee and apricots) but delicious craft beer.

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Hells Lager (4.6%) Camden Town Brewery From: London Situated under railway arches and staffed by a motley crew of skaters, hellraisers and old friends, Camden Town is one of the bestloved booze brewers in London.

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Kill Your Darlings (5%) Thornbridge From: Derby In 2005, a bunch of friends started brewing beer in a shed in the grounds of a stately home. Eight years later, and Thornbridge is one of the biggest names in craft beer.

Hoppiness (6.7%) Moor Beer From: Somerset Moor Beer is owned and run by Californian Justin Hawke, who dug it out of a muddy Somerset hole in 2007. “Everything is larger than life about us,” he says. “That’s why we use the 660ml bottles.”

Dobber (5.9%) Marble Brewery From: Manchester Marble started up as a way to help finance an ailing Manchester pub and became a huge hit. “The beer, the work and the laughs make it all worthwhile,” says project coordinator Harriet Carr.

Weird Whisky Mac (6.1%) Offbeat Brewery From: Cheshire Offbeat Brewery has — in just three short years — become a big boozy success. Founder and ex-IT geek Michelle Kelsall runs the whole thing with just two mates.

HEDONISM

Table Beer (3.3%) The Kernel From: London A South London brewery so cool it doesn’t care about being cool. “We don’t have any written ethos as we have no perspective on whether or not anything makes us special,” says top man Evin O’Riordain.

Queboid (8%) Hardknott From: The Lake District Starting off in an inn at the foot of the steepest road in England, this microbrewery is proudly independent. “We don’t have to kowtow to marketing execs, CEOs or committees,” says cofounder Dave Bailey.

Magic 8-Ball (7%) Magic Rock Brewing From: Huddersfield The brainchild of brothers Richard and Jonny Burhouse, Magic Rock has already picked up some big indie awards for its weird and wonderful booze creations.

Fubar (4.4%) Tiny Rebel From: Newport Billing itself as South Wales’ only micro-brewery, Tiny Rebel offers strong beers and cool labels. It has even done a brew called the Hadouken. Bonus points for the Street Fighter reference.

Hopslinger (5.6%) By The Horns From: London “We were two mates from uni fed fed up with job hunting, so began brewing beer in our kitchen,” says co-founder Alex Bull. “Two years on, we found a local lock-up near Wimbledon and established our brewery.”

WORDS: FHM UK. THE FEATURED BEERS ARE AVAILABLE ONLINE THROUGH WWW.ALESBYMAIL.CO.UK. CALL SINGAPORE CUSTOMS CALL CENTRE AT 6335-2000 FOR MORE INFORMATION ON DUTY TAX AND GST FOR OVERSEAS ALCOHOL PURCHASES.

Red Rocker (5%) Cromarty From: Cromarty Firth “We want to make beer as awesome and flavourful as we can,” says Craig Middleton, who heads the family firm. “We built the shed and constructed our own gadgets to make the beer even better.”

Independence (4.6%) Bristol Beer Factory From: Bristol The mad scientists of the West Country craftbeer scene, Bristol has some weird stuff up their sleeve. “We’re at our best when we’re creating,” says team member Sam Burrows. Champagne beer? We’re game if you are.

Barista (4.8%) Summer Wine Brewery From: Yorkshire The brainchild of twentysomethings James (astrophysicist) and Andy (trainee Royal Marine), SWB is all about bold experimentation (as demonstrated by this espresso stout).

Sublime Chaos (7%) Anarchy Brew Co. From: Northumberland Anarchy Brew Co. is run by five close friends. “We called ourselves Anarchy because we mean to break the rules when it comes to brewing,” says boss Dawn Miles. “And we like punk music.”

Hackney Gold (5.5%) Redchurch Brewery From: London “We don’t tolerate bland, flavourless beer,” warns top man Gary Ward. If you’re around East London, check out their bar, where they frequently test their new concoctions.

HEDONISM

CHANG OF HEART
Chang Beer bagged numerous global accolades, including Asia’s Best Premium Lager at the World Beer Awards in 2011; and four Gold Quality Awards from Mode Selection (2008-2010 and 2013), the Michelin Guide of consumer products. Unlike other international premium beers, Chang Beer stays true to its heritage and is produced from its birthplace, not any other breweries outside Thailand. Yes, even the can you’re holding in your hands right now.

More than just another brew, Thailand's Chang Beer has it full-bodied, malty taste steeped in heritage, sports and quality.

“Chang” is Thai for “elephant”, the symbol of Thai culture and pride. The Chang Beer logo incorporates two white elephants symbolising happiness, harmony, and prosperity, while the golden fountain represents the colour and quality of the beer.

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Chang Beer is available at supermarkets, convenience stores and selected bars including The Lounge at Hotel Intercontinental and Club V outlets.

WORDS: DENNIS YIN; ART DIRECTION: PYRON TAN; PHOTOGRAPHY: HONG CHEE YAN

Chang has been Everton FC’s main partner since 2004. The partnership is now the longestrunning shirt sponsorship deal in the Barclay’s Premier League. Chang Beer also became a regional partner with FC Barcelona in 2012.

GIRLFRIEND
Fig 1.

DON'T BE A BRAND SUCKER
More than two-thirds of girls think overly branded undies are overrated, so opt out of ones with wordy waistbands.

Fig 2.

PICK PLAIN
Over 66 per cent of girls prefer plain undies to patterned. Fig 6.

DODGE THE GRUNDIES
Just ONE woman said Y-fronts were her favourite. So, unless that one lady is your missus, steer clear.

Fig 3.

BANISH THE STINK
It goes without saying that dirty boxers mean bad business in the sex department.

Fig 7.

SHOW OFF WHAT YOU GOT
A whopping 72 per cent of girls said tight trunks were their preference, with looser-fitting boxers only getting a quarter of the vote.

Fig 4.

OPT FOR BLACK
Good news for skidmarks: Black is the colour to go for, with 56 per cent of girls choosing it as their favourite.

Fig 8. Fig 5.

AVOID THE MAN THONG
The most unsurprising stat is that 96 per cent of girls thought that the man thong was an abomination, and that men should never even go near them. Thank God.

KEEP HOLD OF "EX" GIFTS
Only 4 per cent of girls thought wearing undies bought by your ex was the biggest bedroom no-no.

WORDS & PHOTO: FHM UK

GOING UNDERCOVER
FHM asked 200 women about their views on your drawers…

Fig 9.

DON'T SPLASH OUT (TOO MUCH)
Good news for the wallet — 64 per cent of girls thought the right amount to spend on a pair of undies was $15 to $25.