How Full is Your Bucket
Content
Title : How Full Is Your Bucket? Author : Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D. Publisher : Gallup Press, 2004 ISBN : 1 59562 003 6 Pages : 127
The Big Idea In this brief, yet very insightful book, the authors, a grandfather-grandson team, reveal how even the briefest of interactions can affect your relationships, productivity, and health. Based on a simple metaphor of a dipper and a bucket, and grounded in 50 years of comprehensive psychological and work-place research, How Full Is Your Bucket? will show you how to greatly increase the positive moments in your life, on the one hand, and reduce the negative, on the other hand. Moreover, you will read here practical advices and the authors’ very own “Five Strategies for Increasing Positive Emotions” which are easy to apply and which will surely change the way you look at your life, your work, and your world. Powerful, captivating, and easy to read, this book’s heartwarming message has a spiritual quality to it. It manages to be inspirational without being preachy. Indeed, this book is a must read for anyone desiring to improve their work life and organizations, strengthen their relationships, and live happier.
Negativity Kills In a study of one of the most extreme and perversely effective cases of psychological warfare on record, Dr. William E. Mayer, former Chief Psychiatrist of the U.S. Army, set out to discover the reason why so many men died in the North Korean POW camps during the Korean War. He was particularly interested in finding out why despite the relatively minimal physical torture that American POWs were subjected to, the overall death rate at these camps was at a ghastly 38% -- the highest POW death rate in U.S. military history! In the course of his study, Mayer discovered that half of those soldiers died because they had completely given up, both mentally and physically. Among his findings, he reported that the North Koreans totally denied their captives the emotional support that comes from interpersonal relationships. Their intent was to break whatever bond these men had and turn them against each other. Mayer also said that the North Koreans subjected the soldiers into a kind of “emotional and psychological isolation,” which resulted in the men experiencing an intense feeling of hopelessness. This experience drove many of these soldiers to go into a corner, sit down, pull a blanket over their heads, and simply die. This story is just one of the powerful illustrations of the devastating effects of negative emotions. In fact, recent studies show that negative emotions can be bad to your health and can shorten your life. In contrast, however, similar studies also show that positive emotions can improve your physical and mental health and act as a buffer against depression and a host of illnesses.
Studying Positivity: The Emergence of Positive Psychology Don Clifton realized in the early 1950s that the field of psychology was based almost entirely on the study of what is wrong with people. He considered this to be a significant stumbling block in this field, and so he began to wonder if it would be more important to study what is right with people. Together with his colleagues, he set out to find the answers to his questions. Early in his research, he
Page 1
discovered that people’s lives are shaped by their interactions with others and that these encounters have a profound effect on people. In addition, these encounters were rarely, if ever, neutral; that is, they either had a positive or negative effect on people. To make a long story short, his efforts and pioneering study resulted in the birth of Positive Psychology, a field of study that focuses on what is right with people and on the effects of positive emotions. In 2002, the American Psychological Association honored his work and cited him as the Grandfather of Positive Psychology and the Father of Strengths Psychology. Unfortunately, that same year, he was diagnosed with a life-threatening cancer. Knowing that his time was limited, Don spent his final months doing what he did best and what people who knew him well expected of him: helping others to focus on the positive. At that time, Don had already written several books on this topic, however, he set out to write, together with his grandson Tom Rath, one last book based on the “Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket” that he developed in the 1960s, and which he knew would make a big difference in people’s lives. Even though he was undergoing treatment and was quite weakened by it, Don was able to continue working on the book with Tom, who incidentally is also waging his own battle against cancer. In September of 2003, Don passed away, but not before he and Tom finished the first draft of the book. Looking back, Tom realized that working on the book energized Don, as much as it did him, in the final stages of his fight with cancer. Likewise, applying his grandfather’s theory has helped him cope with his disease and gave him the needed strength and energy to stay ahead of this disease. Indeed, this collaborative work is their testament to the wonders of positive emotions and their unwavering belief in the value of caring and compassionate relationships.
The Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket The story about those American POWs motivated Don Clifton and his colleagues to study the flip side of that story. They wondered if continuous positive reinforcement could uplift and motivate people to reach for greater heights. In essence, they asked themselves whether positivity has an even stronger impact on people than negativity. Their research into this topic is the inspiration behind the Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket. Based on a simple metaphor of a “dipper” and a “bucket,” this theory states that: Everyone has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled depending on what others say or do to other people. Hence, people are at their best when their buckets are overflowing and at their worst when their buckets are empty. Everyone also has an invisible dipper. In each and every interaction, people use their dipper to either fill up or dip from other’s buckets. Whenever people choose to fill other people’s buckets, they in turn fill their own. And whenever people do the opposite, they only diminish themselves. So like the “cup that runneth over,” a full bucket energizes you and makes you see the world in a positive light. This in turn will greatly enhance your relationships, health, productivity, and happiness. However, an empty bucket will poison your outlook, sap your energy, and undermine your will. Thus, whenever someone dips from your bucket, you get hurt.
Bucket Filling People experience hundreds of potentially life-turning points in a given day, but usually the impact of these encounters is left unnoticed. Of course, only a few of these moments are so profound as to
Page 2
make people stop and contemplate on those events. But just because many of these interactions are commonplace and are often unremarkable does not necessarily mean that they do not matter. Even if you should focus more on how to increase the positive emotions in your life, you should never disregard negativity and weaknesses. Definitely, positivity must be grounded in reality. But in any event, you should not let hardships and adversities to define you. By and large, it is your responses to difficult events and your emotional state that are much more important. So, make a habit of filling buckets. Not only will bucket filling shield you against negativity, it will also allow you to survive and grow in the face of adversities.
Physical and Mental Health Effects Positive emotions and reinforcements can improve mental and physical well-being. For instance, optimists have been found to have more T4 or “helper” cells that fight against infection. Furthermore, they average to less than one doctor visit per year, while pessimists average to more than 3.5 visits per year. Moreover, thousands of studies have shown that positive emotions could indeed lengthen one’s life. Take the case of the study of 839 Mayo Clinic patients over a 30-year period that found a link between optimism and a lower risk of early death. Even more surprising is the landmark study of 180 elderly Catholic nuns that showed a correlation between positive emotions and lower mortality rates among these women. Furthermore, positive emotions do much more than signal well-being, they also improve coping and make it possible for people to function at their finest. Barbara Fredrickson, for instance, cites the following benefits of positive emotions: protect from and undo the effects of negative emotions; fuel resilience and transform people; broaden thinking and encourage people to discover new lines of thought or action; break down racial barriers; build durable physical, intellectual, social, and psychological resources that can function as reserves during trying times; produce optimal functioning in organizations and individuals; and, improve the overall performance of the group.
Our Negative Culture Positive experiences or “bucket filling” is certainly more powerful than negative experiences. Moreover, most people would want to have more positive emotions in their lives. Regrettably, wanting a more positive environment is not really enough. Majority of people grew up in a culture wherein it is much easier to tell people what they did wrong instead of praising them for what they did right. It is possible that this kind of negativity-based approach might have evolved unintentionally; nevertheless, it permeates society at all levels. To put this into perspective, consider your experiences while you were still at school. More often than not, most parents push their child to “fit in” so that they would not “stick out” instead of celebrating their child’s uniqueness. As a consequence, a child’s individuality is being unwittingly subdued. In addition, students have to learn a number of subjects regardless of whether these subjects are in line with their interest or natural talents. Although this system gives students a well-
Page 3
rounded education, sometimes this hinders the development of the students’ true potentials. What’s more, parents and teachers would often focus more on the areas where the child got a low mark instead of recognizing and further developing those areas where the child did excel and showed promise. Though this is not to say that parents and teachers should ignore those low marks; however, it would be better if parents and teachers praise and recognize those areas or subjects where the child did well before discussing those F marks. At the very least, this would make for a more productive conversation. The point is that this weakness-based approach to learning and to nurturing children’s gifts and talents is not really helping many children realize their true potentials.
Positivity and Productivity In a study that included more than 10,000 business units and more than 30 industries, it has been found that individuals who received regular recognition and praise: showed increased individual productivity; felt a stronger connection with their colleagues; were more likely to stay with the organization; received higher loyalty and satisfaction rating from customers; and, had better safety records and fewer accidents on the job. In addition, a similar study report that nine out of ten people claim that they are more productive when they are around positive people. This is because these individuals feel good about their organization and work. Thus, without a doubt, sincere and meaningful bucket filling can and do increase the morale of any organization, not to mention being an extraordinary powerful leadership strategy.
Killing Productivity Sadly though, such is not the case in the majority of companies today. The U.S. Department of Labor, for instance, cites lack of appreciation as the #1 reason why people leave their jobs, and a poll done last 2003 reported an astounding 65% of Americans who received no recognition or praise for their good work. Hence, it should not come as a surprise when employees become less productive and feel completely disengaged from their jobs. In any event, it is the organizations that end up suffering the most. Moreover, not only is this rampant negativity upsetting, it is also costly. The U.S. economy, for example, loses around $250 to $300 billion every year in lost productivity alone. And if you add workplace injury, illness, turnover, absences, and fraud, the cost could rich to a staggering $1 trillion per year, or nearly 10% of the U.S. Gross Domestic Product (GDP).
Spiraling Downwards When your bucket is empty, not only do you feel down, you are also less productive because of it and you tend to bring others down with you by reactively dipping from their buckets. To put it in another way, negative employees are like poison to the workplace. Transferring them to other departments will not solve the problem because their negativity follows them wherever they go. What’s more, negative employees can and do scare off customers. In a study of 4, 583 call center representatives from a major telecommunications company, three service reps were found to have scared off every single customer they talked to within a given day, and worse these customers stopped doing business with the company for good. So, where productivity is concerned it would be
Page 4
better for organizations if these overly negative people just stayed home.
Bucket Filling in Organizations Studies reveal that organizational leaders who share positive emotions have work groups with a more positive mood, enhanced job satisfaction, greater engagement, and improved group performance. Also, managers and employees who actively spread positive emotions in their organizations not only energize the workplace, but also contribute much to the productivity growth of the company. However, and this is a crucial point, a one-size-fits-all approach to bucket filling does not really work. If you want people to really understand that you value them and their contributions to the organization, and that they are important, it is that the recognition or praise that you will give will have specific and personal meaning to the individual. Furthermore, individualized bucket filling is more effective in boosting productivity in the workplace, and it also builds sustainable relationships, too.
The Magic Ratio Positive psychology experts state that the frequency of small, positive acts is very crucial. To illustrate, John Gottman’s pioneering research on marriages suggests that the likelihood of couples staying together or divorcing depend largely on the ratio of positive to negative interactions, which according to him should be 5 positive to 1 negative. He called this the “magic ratio.” So, when couples’ interactions are near to that magic ratio their marriage would almost certainly succeed. Amazingly, ten years after the study, Gottman and his colleagues’ prediction of the likelihood of divorce among the 700 couples whom they interviewed had a 94% accuracy rate! The significance of Gotmman’s findings resonate even to the workplace. In a study about the complex dynamics of high performance teams by Fredrickson and Losada reveal that workgroups with ratios greater than that of 3 positive to 1 negative are significantly more productive than teams that do not reach this ratio. Nevertheless, the same study also suggests the existence of an upper limit: that is, things can get worse if the ratio exceeds that of 13 positive to 1 negative. Therefore, although it is important to increase positive emotions, it is not altogether advisable to disregard negative instances or emotions from the equation. More often than not, a false sense of optimism is counter-productive, not to mention being downright annoying. There are times when people need to know their mistakes and figure out what’s keeping them down before they can do something to correct it.
Five Strategies for Increasing Positive Emotions You now know why it is important to fill your buckets and those of other people. However, knowing why it is important is just not enough. You need to have specific, actionable plans that will transform your good intentions into reality. The following five strategies developed by the authors from the more than 4,000 interviews conducted by them are the most likely to produce those desired results.
Strategy One: Prevent Bucket Dipping Before you can begin to truly fill buckets, you should resolve to stop bucket dipping altogether. One good way to do this is to be watchful of what you say to other people. Try this for size. For the next few days, try to catch yourself in the act of bucket dipping, such as giving a negative comment or making fun of somebody, and then stop yourself. Imagine yourself having an internal “pause” button that you can push whenever you feel you are about to dip from
Page 5
somebody else’s bucket. You will be surprised at the results! Moreover, whenever you bucket dipping in progress, do something about it. You could try convincing those people that unwarranted negativity only makes matters worst. If this does not work it, best avoid these kinds of people as much as possible. Most importantly, keep track of your progress. Try to reflect on your last few interactions and see if each interaction was more positive or negative. This way, you will know when you need to exert extra effort at eliminating bucket dipping in your life.
Strategy Two: Shine a Light on What Is Right Keep in mind that each interaction is an opportunity to fill a bucket. Every time you fill a bucket, you are setting something good in motion. Think about it: if you were to fill two buckets a day, and the owners of those buckets do the same, more than 1,000 buckets would have been filled at the end of 10 days. Now, what if you instead commit to fill five buckets a day instead of two, and those same people decided to do the same? You will have more than 19 million buckets filled at the span of just 10 days! Hence, when someone fills your bucket, accept it and return the favor by filling up his or her bucket. A simple “thank you” would do the trick. It is important to let people know that you appreciate their compliment or recognition. In turn, you are more likely to share your renewed positive energy with others.
Strategy Three: Make Best Friends Having a best friend does not necessarily mean that you should limit yourself to just one close friend. It is better if you have several relationships of the best-friend caliber in your workplace, home, and social circles. For instance, workplace research reveal that people with best friends at work have better safety records, receive higher customer satisfaction scores, and are more productive. In the same way, the happiest of people are those with high-quality social relationships, and the loneliest of people, on the other hand, are those who are likely to suffer psychologically, says noted psychologist Ed Diener. This only shows how great relationships tend to result in significant increase in life satisfaction. Thus, whether or not you want to build many relationships or just a few deep ones, the best way to initiate new relationships would be to fill a person’s bucket in your very first interaction. Create positive interactions with acquaintances or even strangers. You can also use this approach to strengthen existing relationships. Remember, friendships are more likely to thrive and endure with regular bucket filling.
Strategy Four: Give Unexpectedly Expected gifts can fill people’s buckets. However, an unexpected gift given at an unexpected time fills it even more. Majority of people prefer gifts that are unexpected. And it does not even have to be something big or expensive or even tangible. It can be a gift of trust or responsibility. Even a smile or hug can be an unexpected and much cherished gift. The important thing to remember is to always look for opportunities where you can share or give
Page 6
something to others out of the blue.
Strategy Five: Reverse the Golden Rule For a more robust and meaningful bucket filling, individualization is the key. Individualized bucket filling is not only more effective, but it also builds sustainable relationships and changes people’s lives forever. Here, doing to others the things that you would have them do to you would not really apply. Instead, why not do to others the things that they would have liked you to do unto them. Think of ways in which the recognitions and praises that you give others would really strike a chord with them: the recognition and praise you provide should have meaning to them on the most personal of levels. More often than not, the things that make people unique also determine what would really fill their buckets. Likewise, the things you recognize in others would help shape their identities and their future accomplishments. This is why bucket filling must be specific to the individual. Also, it would mean more to the recipient if your praise is specific. Written recognitions such as letters or e-mails would be a great way to do this. Letters are especially rewarding since the recipient can read your letter over and over again whenever his bucket needs filling up.
Epilogue: We All Need Full Buckets People are certain to encounter challenges and adversities in life. Nonetheless, they should not allow these intermittent twists of fate to overwhelm them. What’s important is that people should take every possible opportunity to increase the positive emotions in their lives and of those around them. It will certainly make a big difference. It may even change the world.
Page 7
The Big Idea In this brief, yet very insightful book, the authors, a grandfather-grandson team, reveal how even the briefest of interactions can affect your relationships, productivity, and health. Based on a simple metaphor of a dipper and a bucket, and grounded in 50 years of comprehensive psychological and work-place research, How Full Is Your Bucket? will show you how to greatly increase the positive moments in your life, on the one hand, and reduce the negative, on the other hand. Moreover, you will read here practical advices and the authors’ very own “Five Strategies for Increasing Positive Emotions” which are easy to apply and which will surely change the way you look at your life, your work, and your world. Powerful, captivating, and easy to read, this book’s heartwarming message has a spiritual quality to it. It manages to be inspirational without being preachy. Indeed, this book is a must read for anyone desiring to improve their work life and organizations, strengthen their relationships, and live happier.
Negativity Kills In a study of one of the most extreme and perversely effective cases of psychological warfare on record, Dr. William E. Mayer, former Chief Psychiatrist of the U.S. Army, set out to discover the reason why so many men died in the North Korean POW camps during the Korean War. He was particularly interested in finding out why despite the relatively minimal physical torture that American POWs were subjected to, the overall death rate at these camps was at a ghastly 38% -- the highest POW death rate in U.S. military history! In the course of his study, Mayer discovered that half of those soldiers died because they had completely given up, both mentally and physically. Among his findings, he reported that the North Koreans totally denied their captives the emotional support that comes from interpersonal relationships. Their intent was to break whatever bond these men had and turn them against each other. Mayer also said that the North Koreans subjected the soldiers into a kind of “emotional and psychological isolation,” which resulted in the men experiencing an intense feeling of hopelessness. This experience drove many of these soldiers to go into a corner, sit down, pull a blanket over their heads, and simply die. This story is just one of the powerful illustrations of the devastating effects of negative emotions. In fact, recent studies show that negative emotions can be bad to your health and can shorten your life. In contrast, however, similar studies also show that positive emotions can improve your physical and mental health and act as a buffer against depression and a host of illnesses.
Studying Positivity: The Emergence of Positive Psychology Don Clifton realized in the early 1950s that the field of psychology was based almost entirely on the study of what is wrong with people. He considered this to be a significant stumbling block in this field, and so he began to wonder if it would be more important to study what is right with people. Together with his colleagues, he set out to find the answers to his questions. Early in his research, he
Page 1
discovered that people’s lives are shaped by their interactions with others and that these encounters have a profound effect on people. In addition, these encounters were rarely, if ever, neutral; that is, they either had a positive or negative effect on people. To make a long story short, his efforts and pioneering study resulted in the birth of Positive Psychology, a field of study that focuses on what is right with people and on the effects of positive emotions. In 2002, the American Psychological Association honored his work and cited him as the Grandfather of Positive Psychology and the Father of Strengths Psychology. Unfortunately, that same year, he was diagnosed with a life-threatening cancer. Knowing that his time was limited, Don spent his final months doing what he did best and what people who knew him well expected of him: helping others to focus on the positive. At that time, Don had already written several books on this topic, however, he set out to write, together with his grandson Tom Rath, one last book based on the “Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket” that he developed in the 1960s, and which he knew would make a big difference in people’s lives. Even though he was undergoing treatment and was quite weakened by it, Don was able to continue working on the book with Tom, who incidentally is also waging his own battle against cancer. In September of 2003, Don passed away, but not before he and Tom finished the first draft of the book. Looking back, Tom realized that working on the book energized Don, as much as it did him, in the final stages of his fight with cancer. Likewise, applying his grandfather’s theory has helped him cope with his disease and gave him the needed strength and energy to stay ahead of this disease. Indeed, this collaborative work is their testament to the wonders of positive emotions and their unwavering belief in the value of caring and compassionate relationships.
The Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket The story about those American POWs motivated Don Clifton and his colleagues to study the flip side of that story. They wondered if continuous positive reinforcement could uplift and motivate people to reach for greater heights. In essence, they asked themselves whether positivity has an even stronger impact on people than negativity. Their research into this topic is the inspiration behind the Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket. Based on a simple metaphor of a “dipper” and a “bucket,” this theory states that: Everyone has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled depending on what others say or do to other people. Hence, people are at their best when their buckets are overflowing and at their worst when their buckets are empty. Everyone also has an invisible dipper. In each and every interaction, people use their dipper to either fill up or dip from other’s buckets. Whenever people choose to fill other people’s buckets, they in turn fill their own. And whenever people do the opposite, they only diminish themselves. So like the “cup that runneth over,” a full bucket energizes you and makes you see the world in a positive light. This in turn will greatly enhance your relationships, health, productivity, and happiness. However, an empty bucket will poison your outlook, sap your energy, and undermine your will. Thus, whenever someone dips from your bucket, you get hurt.
Bucket Filling People experience hundreds of potentially life-turning points in a given day, but usually the impact of these encounters is left unnoticed. Of course, only a few of these moments are so profound as to
Page 2
make people stop and contemplate on those events. But just because many of these interactions are commonplace and are often unremarkable does not necessarily mean that they do not matter. Even if you should focus more on how to increase the positive emotions in your life, you should never disregard negativity and weaknesses. Definitely, positivity must be grounded in reality. But in any event, you should not let hardships and adversities to define you. By and large, it is your responses to difficult events and your emotional state that are much more important. So, make a habit of filling buckets. Not only will bucket filling shield you against negativity, it will also allow you to survive and grow in the face of adversities.
Physical and Mental Health Effects Positive emotions and reinforcements can improve mental and physical well-being. For instance, optimists have been found to have more T4 or “helper” cells that fight against infection. Furthermore, they average to less than one doctor visit per year, while pessimists average to more than 3.5 visits per year. Moreover, thousands of studies have shown that positive emotions could indeed lengthen one’s life. Take the case of the study of 839 Mayo Clinic patients over a 30-year period that found a link between optimism and a lower risk of early death. Even more surprising is the landmark study of 180 elderly Catholic nuns that showed a correlation between positive emotions and lower mortality rates among these women. Furthermore, positive emotions do much more than signal well-being, they also improve coping and make it possible for people to function at their finest. Barbara Fredrickson, for instance, cites the following benefits of positive emotions: protect from and undo the effects of negative emotions; fuel resilience and transform people; broaden thinking and encourage people to discover new lines of thought or action; break down racial barriers; build durable physical, intellectual, social, and psychological resources that can function as reserves during trying times; produce optimal functioning in organizations and individuals; and, improve the overall performance of the group.
Our Negative Culture Positive experiences or “bucket filling” is certainly more powerful than negative experiences. Moreover, most people would want to have more positive emotions in their lives. Regrettably, wanting a more positive environment is not really enough. Majority of people grew up in a culture wherein it is much easier to tell people what they did wrong instead of praising them for what they did right. It is possible that this kind of negativity-based approach might have evolved unintentionally; nevertheless, it permeates society at all levels. To put this into perspective, consider your experiences while you were still at school. More often than not, most parents push their child to “fit in” so that they would not “stick out” instead of celebrating their child’s uniqueness. As a consequence, a child’s individuality is being unwittingly subdued. In addition, students have to learn a number of subjects regardless of whether these subjects are in line with their interest or natural talents. Although this system gives students a well-
Page 3
rounded education, sometimes this hinders the development of the students’ true potentials. What’s more, parents and teachers would often focus more on the areas where the child got a low mark instead of recognizing and further developing those areas where the child did excel and showed promise. Though this is not to say that parents and teachers should ignore those low marks; however, it would be better if parents and teachers praise and recognize those areas or subjects where the child did well before discussing those F marks. At the very least, this would make for a more productive conversation. The point is that this weakness-based approach to learning and to nurturing children’s gifts and talents is not really helping many children realize their true potentials.
Positivity and Productivity In a study that included more than 10,000 business units and more than 30 industries, it has been found that individuals who received regular recognition and praise: showed increased individual productivity; felt a stronger connection with their colleagues; were more likely to stay with the organization; received higher loyalty and satisfaction rating from customers; and, had better safety records and fewer accidents on the job. In addition, a similar study report that nine out of ten people claim that they are more productive when they are around positive people. This is because these individuals feel good about their organization and work. Thus, without a doubt, sincere and meaningful bucket filling can and do increase the morale of any organization, not to mention being an extraordinary powerful leadership strategy.
Killing Productivity Sadly though, such is not the case in the majority of companies today. The U.S. Department of Labor, for instance, cites lack of appreciation as the #1 reason why people leave their jobs, and a poll done last 2003 reported an astounding 65% of Americans who received no recognition or praise for their good work. Hence, it should not come as a surprise when employees become less productive and feel completely disengaged from their jobs. In any event, it is the organizations that end up suffering the most. Moreover, not only is this rampant negativity upsetting, it is also costly. The U.S. economy, for example, loses around $250 to $300 billion every year in lost productivity alone. And if you add workplace injury, illness, turnover, absences, and fraud, the cost could rich to a staggering $1 trillion per year, or nearly 10% of the U.S. Gross Domestic Product (GDP).
Spiraling Downwards When your bucket is empty, not only do you feel down, you are also less productive because of it and you tend to bring others down with you by reactively dipping from their buckets. To put it in another way, negative employees are like poison to the workplace. Transferring them to other departments will not solve the problem because their negativity follows them wherever they go. What’s more, negative employees can and do scare off customers. In a study of 4, 583 call center representatives from a major telecommunications company, three service reps were found to have scared off every single customer they talked to within a given day, and worse these customers stopped doing business with the company for good. So, where productivity is concerned it would be
Page 4
better for organizations if these overly negative people just stayed home.
Bucket Filling in Organizations Studies reveal that organizational leaders who share positive emotions have work groups with a more positive mood, enhanced job satisfaction, greater engagement, and improved group performance. Also, managers and employees who actively spread positive emotions in their organizations not only energize the workplace, but also contribute much to the productivity growth of the company. However, and this is a crucial point, a one-size-fits-all approach to bucket filling does not really work. If you want people to really understand that you value them and their contributions to the organization, and that they are important, it is that the recognition or praise that you will give will have specific and personal meaning to the individual. Furthermore, individualized bucket filling is more effective in boosting productivity in the workplace, and it also builds sustainable relationships, too.
The Magic Ratio Positive psychology experts state that the frequency of small, positive acts is very crucial. To illustrate, John Gottman’s pioneering research on marriages suggests that the likelihood of couples staying together or divorcing depend largely on the ratio of positive to negative interactions, which according to him should be 5 positive to 1 negative. He called this the “magic ratio.” So, when couples’ interactions are near to that magic ratio their marriage would almost certainly succeed. Amazingly, ten years after the study, Gottman and his colleagues’ prediction of the likelihood of divorce among the 700 couples whom they interviewed had a 94% accuracy rate! The significance of Gotmman’s findings resonate even to the workplace. In a study about the complex dynamics of high performance teams by Fredrickson and Losada reveal that workgroups with ratios greater than that of 3 positive to 1 negative are significantly more productive than teams that do not reach this ratio. Nevertheless, the same study also suggests the existence of an upper limit: that is, things can get worse if the ratio exceeds that of 13 positive to 1 negative. Therefore, although it is important to increase positive emotions, it is not altogether advisable to disregard negative instances or emotions from the equation. More often than not, a false sense of optimism is counter-productive, not to mention being downright annoying. There are times when people need to know their mistakes and figure out what’s keeping them down before they can do something to correct it.
Five Strategies for Increasing Positive Emotions You now know why it is important to fill your buckets and those of other people. However, knowing why it is important is just not enough. You need to have specific, actionable plans that will transform your good intentions into reality. The following five strategies developed by the authors from the more than 4,000 interviews conducted by them are the most likely to produce those desired results.
Strategy One: Prevent Bucket Dipping Before you can begin to truly fill buckets, you should resolve to stop bucket dipping altogether. One good way to do this is to be watchful of what you say to other people. Try this for size. For the next few days, try to catch yourself in the act of bucket dipping, such as giving a negative comment or making fun of somebody, and then stop yourself. Imagine yourself having an internal “pause” button that you can push whenever you feel you are about to dip from
Page 5
somebody else’s bucket. You will be surprised at the results! Moreover, whenever you bucket dipping in progress, do something about it. You could try convincing those people that unwarranted negativity only makes matters worst. If this does not work it, best avoid these kinds of people as much as possible. Most importantly, keep track of your progress. Try to reflect on your last few interactions and see if each interaction was more positive or negative. This way, you will know when you need to exert extra effort at eliminating bucket dipping in your life.
Strategy Two: Shine a Light on What Is Right Keep in mind that each interaction is an opportunity to fill a bucket. Every time you fill a bucket, you are setting something good in motion. Think about it: if you were to fill two buckets a day, and the owners of those buckets do the same, more than 1,000 buckets would have been filled at the end of 10 days. Now, what if you instead commit to fill five buckets a day instead of two, and those same people decided to do the same? You will have more than 19 million buckets filled at the span of just 10 days! Hence, when someone fills your bucket, accept it and return the favor by filling up his or her bucket. A simple “thank you” would do the trick. It is important to let people know that you appreciate their compliment or recognition. In turn, you are more likely to share your renewed positive energy with others.
Strategy Three: Make Best Friends Having a best friend does not necessarily mean that you should limit yourself to just one close friend. It is better if you have several relationships of the best-friend caliber in your workplace, home, and social circles. For instance, workplace research reveal that people with best friends at work have better safety records, receive higher customer satisfaction scores, and are more productive. In the same way, the happiest of people are those with high-quality social relationships, and the loneliest of people, on the other hand, are those who are likely to suffer psychologically, says noted psychologist Ed Diener. This only shows how great relationships tend to result in significant increase in life satisfaction. Thus, whether or not you want to build many relationships or just a few deep ones, the best way to initiate new relationships would be to fill a person’s bucket in your very first interaction. Create positive interactions with acquaintances or even strangers. You can also use this approach to strengthen existing relationships. Remember, friendships are more likely to thrive and endure with regular bucket filling.
Strategy Four: Give Unexpectedly Expected gifts can fill people’s buckets. However, an unexpected gift given at an unexpected time fills it even more. Majority of people prefer gifts that are unexpected. And it does not even have to be something big or expensive or even tangible. It can be a gift of trust or responsibility. Even a smile or hug can be an unexpected and much cherished gift. The important thing to remember is to always look for opportunities where you can share or give
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something to others out of the blue.
Strategy Five: Reverse the Golden Rule For a more robust and meaningful bucket filling, individualization is the key. Individualized bucket filling is not only more effective, but it also builds sustainable relationships and changes people’s lives forever. Here, doing to others the things that you would have them do to you would not really apply. Instead, why not do to others the things that they would have liked you to do unto them. Think of ways in which the recognitions and praises that you give others would really strike a chord with them: the recognition and praise you provide should have meaning to them on the most personal of levels. More often than not, the things that make people unique also determine what would really fill their buckets. Likewise, the things you recognize in others would help shape their identities and their future accomplishments. This is why bucket filling must be specific to the individual. Also, it would mean more to the recipient if your praise is specific. Written recognitions such as letters or e-mails would be a great way to do this. Letters are especially rewarding since the recipient can read your letter over and over again whenever his bucket needs filling up.
Epilogue: We All Need Full Buckets People are certain to encounter challenges and adversities in life. Nonetheless, they should not allow these intermittent twists of fate to overwhelm them. What’s important is that people should take every possible opportunity to increase the positive emotions in their lives and of those around them. It will certainly make a big difference. It may even change the world.
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