Lavender Issue 401

3

LavenderMagazine.com

Contents |

[ Minnesota's Gay-Lesbian-Bisexual-Transgender Magazine ]

LavenderMagazine.com
Full Screen Lavender Digital Edition.

20

32 On the Townsend Sleep Deprivation Chamber • The Glass Menagerie • The Great Game: Afghanistan • Vigil • Dudley: Rigged for Laughter • Rock of Ages 33 The Page Boy Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation • Let’s Get This Straight: The Ultimate Handbook for Youth with LGBTQ Parents • On Location: A Rita Farmer Mystery • Secret Historian: The Life and Times of Samuel Steward, Professor, Tattoo Artist, and Sexual Renegade Use Your Black “Bar” Tab To Find

FLIP FOR THE
FULL SCREEN LAVENDER DIGITAL EDITION

BAR SCENE
36 Bar Advertiser Guide Find Your Way to Hot Spots 36 Bartender Spotlight Gay 90’s: Jason 38 Bar Showcase 19 Bar 40 Bar Calendar Plan Your Bar Outings 41 Lavender Lens North Star Gay Rodeo Association Barn Dance

+

DIGITAL EXTRA: DINING GUIDE

YOUR CHANCE TO WIN PRIZES EVERY ISSUE!
ROBBIE WILLIAMS IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS CDS

CUISINE
Photo Courtesy of Village Green

42 Off the Eaten Path Jakeeno’s: Serves Fabulous Home-Style Italian Cuisine

DAVID KOZ HELLO TOMORROW CDS

Mill District City Apartments

SPORTS & LEISURE
49 Lavender Lens Mankato Pridefest 50 Lavender Lens Twin Cities Black Pride Park Festival 51 Lavender Lens St. Cloud Pridefest 52 Lavender Lens Bingo A-GoGo 54 Lavender Lens Project 515 Fundraiser

NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY
Photo by Paul Robertson

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW – 35TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION” DVDS

BACKTALK COMMUNITY DIALOGUE
8 A Word in Edgewise Hanging Together To Hang Us Separately 9 Letters Hat Off to Jones 10 Queer As Folks Rexroad Named Family Equality Council Midwest Regional Senior Manager • Broadway Comes to Minnesota Concert Features Creel • Gleason Affiliates with Residential Mortgage Group, Division of Alerus Financial • The Cho Dependent Tour Coming to the State Theatre 55 The Network Business Services Directory 56 LavenderMagazine.com Calendar Plan Your Fortnight 59 Classifieds Find Some Classy Stuff 60 Community Connection GLBT-Friendly Nonprofits 61 Dateland Anatomy of a Bad Idea: Part III 61 Cartoon Trolín 63 Consider the Source Stella Drama 64 Ms. Behavior Sock Puppet Campaign 66 Yellow Pages Advertiser Index What’s Where This Issue

THE REAL L WORD SEASON ONE DVDS

WandaWisdom.com
America’s ORIGINAL Podcasting Drag Queen Fall on Your knees! It’s time for fall color, and nothing is more colorful than a drag queen in a basement with a big mouth and a microphone! Tune into Wanda’s podcast for all sorts of random silliness! Simply click on over to http:// wandawisdom.com!

NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY
Cover Feature 12 Annie Huidekoper St. Paul Saints Vice President Shares Her Story 16 Patty Keegan Jakeeno’s Proprietor Relates Her Experience 18 Coming Out at Work A Demonstration of Pride

Photo by Brian Roby

BigGayNews.com
Your daily podcast of GLBT world news!

HOME & YARD BOULEVARD
20 “Lifestyle For Rent” Mill District City Apartments: “More Like an Urban Resort”

Top Headlines
Police Detain Anti-Gay Protesters in Moscow Rutgers University to Remember Tyler Clementi Michigan Asst. AG Targeting Gay Student Takes Leave Senator Chambliss Aide Fired Over Anti-Gay Comment

NEWS & POLITICS
24 Big Gay News National News 26 Behaving Bradley Remembering Justin Aaberg

October 8-20, 2010

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
28 Playwright Discusses Gay Currents in Her The Master Butchers Singing Club Interview with Marsha Norman

This Issue ISSUE 401 October 8, 2010 National Coming Out Day, Worship Guide

Next Up ISSUE 402 October 21, 2010 FAB 50 Awards

Get Your News in 12 Languages!
Big Gay News now offers TWELVE foreign language newswires! You can get international GLBT news from hundreds of sources in twelve different languages. There is absolutely no other site offering this much relevant content. Visit http://biggaynews.com today!

4

5

LavenderMagazine.com

Volume 16, Issue 401 • October 8–20, 2010

Editorial
Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner 612-436-4670 Editorial Director Sede Vacante 612-436-4671 Editorial Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672 Podmaster Bradley Traynor 612-436-4669 Contributors Kolina Cicero, Meryl Cohn, Carla Continenza, Julie Dafydd, Heidi Fellner, Terrance Griep, Chris Homan, Ed Huyck, Justin Jones, Steve Lenius, Casey Merkwan, Jennifer Parello, Todd Park, Amber Schadewald, Elizabeth Stiras, Abigail Stoddard, John Townsend, Carla Waldemar

Advertising
Sales & Advertising Director Barry Leavitt 612-436-4690 Senior Account Executive Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699 Account Executive Jeff Newton 612-436-4675 Advertising Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672 Sales & Advertising Traffic Coordinator Linda Raines 612-436-4694 Classifieds Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699 National Sales Representative Rivendell Media 212-242-6863

Creative
Creative Director Hubert Bonnet 612-436-4678 Creative Assistant Mike Hnida 612-436-4679 Photographer Sophia Hantzes Cartoonist Rodro Lavender Studios Hubert Bonnet, Mike Hnida

Administration
Publisher Lavender Media, Inc. President & CEO Stephen Rocheford 612-436-4665 Vice President & CC Pierre Tardif 612-436-4666 Chief Financial Officer Carolyn Lima 612-436-4664 Administrative Assistant Austin Lindstrom 612-436-4661 Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee
(1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford (1914-2006), Jonathan Halverson (1974-2010)

Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space, and libel. They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned letters will not be published. Priority will be given to letters that refer to material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit letters to Lavender Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 3715 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407; or e-mail <[email protected]>.

Lavender Media Inc. 3715 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407 LavenderYellowPages.com 612-436-4660 office 877-515-9969 toll free 612-436-4685 fax 612-436-4664 subscriptions 612-436-4660 distribution 612-436-4698 advertising

October 8-20, 2010

LavenderMagazine.com

BigGayNews.com

WandaWisdom.com

Entire contents copyright 2010. All rights reserved. Publication of the name or photograph of any person, organization, or business in this magazine does not reflect upon one’s sexual orientation whatsoever. Lavender® Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertising. This issue of Lavender® Magazine is available free of charge during the time period published on the cover. Pickup at one of our distribution sites is limited to one copy per person.

6

7

LavenderMagazine.com

Community Dialogue > A Word in Edgewise

[ by E.B. Boatner ]

Hanging Together To Hang Us Separately
I’m appalled by the factionalism, hatred, adherence to party, and religious creed at any cost rampant in the country today. Crusades seek to “bring America back to its Christian roots”—when the “roots” were whatever gods the autochthons embraced for 10,000 to 12,000 years before the Puritans arrived with scarlet letters, stakes, and smallpox. The Dalai Lama says, “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness,” adding, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” But how to counter folks like blogger Pamela Geller? Her unrelenting cry that President Barack Obama is both a Muslim extremist and the Antichrist has helped 24 percent of Americans believe that urban myth. While he states that he is not Muslim, she and millions of disciples work to cause dissention. I won’t comment on the overt racism in her rants, but she’d be hard put to stick that lie to an incumbent named “Saltonstall,” “Cabot,” or “Lodge.” What of Delaware senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell’s mind-boggling assertion—on one of Bill Maher’s early Politically Incorrect episodes—that she would not lie, even in the case of hiding Anne Frank in her attic? “Really?” someone asked, “If Hitler was at the door, and you had Anne Frank in the attic, you wouldn’t lie?” “No,” O’Donnell replied, “God would find a way.” God didn’t the first time. And, would O’Donnell fib if Frank were a good Christian up in her attic? My words are inadequate to the task. Let me quote George Washington from his Farewell Address published September 26, 1796: “Let me now take a more comprehensive view, and warn you in the most solemn manner against the baneful effects of the spirit of party generally. This spirit, unfortunately, is inseparable from our nature, having its root in the strongest passions of the human mind…. “It agitates the community with illfounded jealousies and false alarms; kindles the animosity of one part against another; foments occasionally riot and insurrection. It opens the door to foreign influence and corruption, which finds a facilitated access to the government itself through the channels of party passion…. “The spirit of party is…a fire not to be quenched. It demands a uniform vigilance to prevent its bursting into a flame, lest, instead of warming, it should consume.” Consider once more the Dalai Lama’s wisdom: “In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”

October 8-20, 2010

8

Community Dialogue > Letters
Hat Off to Jones
Incredibly, I wouldn’t say that I’m not a big reader, or very open about what I’m experiencing emotionally, but after reading Justin Jones’s new “Through These Eyes” column [“The Once That Never Was,” Lavender, September 24], I can indeed say that he spoke on my behalf. His column has allowed me to actually to take a little time out of my busy day to really think about the journey he describes in his writing. My hat is off to Jones. Bravo!
DAMON MASON

Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space, and libel. They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned letters will not be published. Priority will be given to letters that refer to material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit letters to Lavender Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 3715 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407; or e-mail <[email protected]>.

LavenderMagazine.com

9

Community Dialogue > Queer As Folks

[ by George Holdgrafer ]

Rexroad Named Family Equality Council Midwest Regional Senior Manager
MELANIE REXROAD recently was named Midwest Regional
Senior Manager of the Family Equality Council, the nation’s largest organization representing GLBT parents raising children. She was a tutoring program manager for Bolder Options, a nonprofit one-on-one youth mentoring program. She and her spouse, who have 3-year-old twins, moved to Minnesota because of the state’s second-parent adoption law.
Melanie Rexroad. Photo Courtesy of Family Equality Council

Broadway Comes to Minnesota Concert Features Creel
ON SEPTEMBER 24, at The Woman’s Club of Minneapolis, Broadway Comes to Minnesota, a concert celebrating equality for all, featured Gavin Creel, accompanied by Mary Mitchell Campbell. He is an openly-gay twice-Tony-nominated actor, singer, and songwriter. The Human Rights Campaign Minnesota Political Action Committee and the OutFront Minnesota Action Political Action Committee presented the event.
Gavin Creel (right) and Mary Mitchell Campbell. Photo by Sophia Hantzes

Gleason Affiliates with Residental Mortgage Group, Division of Alerus Financial
PAT GLEASON recently affiliated with Residential Mortgage
Group, a division of Alerus Financial, offering her customers more options and opportunities. She has been in the mortgage business for nearly 25 years. She handles all types of mortgages for purchasing and refinancing, including regular conventional, FHA, and VA. She has been working with the GLBT community for 20 years.
Pat Gleason. Photo Courtesy of Pat Gleason

The Cho Dependent Tour Coming to the State Theatre
ON OCTOBER 15, famed comedian Margaret Cho will bring The Cho Dependent Tour to the State Theatre, 805 Hennepin Avenue, Minneapolis. Special guest is John Roberts. She is best-known for her no-holds-barred standup routines. She has won awards for her support of GLBT rights. Buy tickets at <LIVENATION.com>. The official After Party takes place at Tickles bar in Minneapolis.

October 8-20, 2010

Margaret Cho. Photo by Austin Young

10

11

LavenderMagazine.com

National Coming Out Day > Cover Feature

HUIDEKOPER
ST. PAUL SAINTS VICE PRESIDENT SHARES HER STORY
[ by Abigail Stoddard ]

nnie A
nounced “hide-a-coper”) fiercely was against the idea, believing the community needed a place to gather, and process the tragedy. He gave way to her persistence,

During the evening rush hour on August 1, 2007, the I-35W Bridge over the Mississippi River in Minneapolis collapsed, killing 13 people and injuring 145 others. It was the buzz of the day across the world, but its effect dug far deeper in the psyche of the Twin Cities. The bridge was a main conduit to thousands of workplaces in Downtown Minneapolis, and its plunge into the river shocked millions of people. The region was in mourning. Events routinely were canceled, including the Minnesota Twins game that night.
October 8-20, 2010

Mike Veeck, President of the St. Paul Saints, a minor league team seven miles away, wanted to do the same. But Saints Vice President Annie Huidekoper (pro-

but expected the bridge catastrophe would lock down fans in their homes. He was wrong—big-time. Veeck laughs as he recalls, “Fans showed up in droves that night, and proved what I genius I am! Annie showed what a righteous, opinionated, amazing woman she is. She’s been the heart and soul of this operation since day one.” Check the financial publications, and you’ll see the number of female executives in America has been growing steadily for several years. But a high-profile, high-powered female executive of a baseball team—and a gay one to boot—is far from customary. That’s Huidekoper, a major reason

12

Photo by Paul Robertson

13

LavenderMagazine.com

> Cover Feature

Bill Murray (left) and Annie Huidekoper.
Photos Courtesy of Annie Huidekoper

8-year-old Annie Huidekoper in full baseball regalia.

Annie Huidekoper is the heart and soul of the St. Paul Saints.

why a puckish little minor league team, playing in the shadow of major league baseball, can remain a long-term success for Veeck and his co-owners. One of them, actor Bill Murray, remarks that Huidekoper’s passion for the Saints is uncommonly deep and unwavering. From hot dog vendor to power hitter to front-office number cruncher, not a soul works harder and longer for the team than she does. According to Murray “Annie is to the Saints what ‘love thy neighbor as thyself’ was to the first saints.” Scooping up wayward food wrappers and trampled programs from the passageways of Midway Stadium, where the Saints play, Huidekoper makes clear that no task is too small for the team’s Vice President of Community Partnerships and Customer Service. Hustling corporate affiliations and season tickets are serious business, but Huidekoper’s immutable smile speaks of the fun and, well, pranks that she and her colleagues devise to keep fans coming. Like the time they gave away a “bobblefoot” doll on National Tap Dance Night after then-Senator Larry Craig of Idaho was arrested for soliciting sex in a bathroom at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. Or “Randy Moss Hood Ornament Night,” after the former Minnesota Vikings player was cited for bumping a female traffic control officer with his SUV. The Saints’s enduring impishness bolsters Huidekoper over a workday that stretches to 15 hours during baseball season. But the 49-year-old New Canaan, Connecticut, native does have another life. As Murray relates, “The only things Annie Huidekoper loves more than baseball are smiling faces and Joanne Swanson.” The partnership of Huidekoper and

Swanson, a hands-on healer, wasn’t always known to the rest of the Saints brass. Not all executives thought a woman had a place in a ball club’s front office—let alone a lesbian. The tension came to a head in 1993, six months after Huidekoper started work for the team. The March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation was gathering that April. In most workplaces, taking a weekend vacation is quite easy, but a weekend off in the Saints opening season was near-treason. Huidekoper and Swanson went, anyway—AWOL. Huidekoper’s lifestyle never had been talked about directly, in part because the thenGeneral Manager would not have approved. However, upon Huidekoper’s return from Washington, Veeck cleared the air of all ambiguity—a watershed moment in her career. Huidekoper recounts, “We were at a meeting with the General Manager when he [Veeck] took a deep breath, and said with a big grin, ‘So, Annie, how was the March on Washington?’ The General Manager was white as a sheet.” But this unofficial outing went well otherwise, and Huidekoper decidedly was relieved. Now, people in the organization don’t care if her freak flag flies one way or another. Huidekoper’s love affair with baseball began at an early age. Among the most cherished photos in her office desk is the image of her as a smiling 8-year-old in full baseball regalia—a flannel pinstriped uniform, tall white socks, and orange stirrups, with a blue plastic Mets helmet on top of a Red Sox ball cap. Huidekoper explains proudly, “My father was a Little League coach, and I was his batgirl for seven years. I kept a very orderly lineup of bats, tucked into our side of the backstop, mostly at the Mead Park field

in New Canaan.” Fast-forward many years: Huidekoper’s relationship with her father has changed quite a bit, as has that with her mother. He lives with Parkinson’s disease, and she with dementia. Huidekoper, who flies to the East Coast frequently to be with them, states, “My highest purpose for my family is to help my parents who are struggling.” Back in St. Paul, Huidekoper’s highest purpose is to win approval for a ballpark that would be shared by the Saints and amateur baseball at several levels. They seek partial state funding of a small, well-landscaped facility in a quaint area of Downtown St. Paul. She is at the center of the quest, perpetually raising interest among the folks she knows best: the fans. State Senator Ellen Anderson, sponsor of the ballpark legislation, points out, “Annie is the person who lives and breathes the fans.” That closeness eventually will reverberate in the State Capitol, leading to enactment of the bill, the lawmaker predicts. A lot has changed in the 41 years since her sister, Beppie, snapped the photo of the beaming batgirl. As Huidekoper puts it, “Organizations evolve, and people find their niches and special talents. Our first year, 1993, was magical. A local columnist was saying, ‘You guys will fold by July 4th.’ But it’s like that Margaret Mead quote: ‘A small group of thoughtful people could change the world.’” “I remember crying my eyes out in the stands after the team won the Northern League championship. I knew I just had a peak-life experience—like a great love affair. In our little world, we had come together and worked hard despite our differences. We’re still here, swinging for the fences.”

14

October 8-20, 2010

15

LavenderMagazine.com

> National Coming Out Day

KEEGAN
JAKEENO’S PROPRIETOR RELATES HER EXPERIENCE
[ by George Holdgrafer ]

Patty
Keegan relates, “I had rented a condo in Mexico from a customer, and went by myself for a week. I was reading a ‘dirty’ book on the beach, when a woman I had become acquainted with asked what it was. I told her it was naughty, and she hounded me until I showed it to her…to which she exclaimed, ‘I knew it!’ “Turned out she and her partner had also rented a condo from my customer, and lived only a few blocks from my house in Minneapolis. We began a friendship that continued after we got home. They shared their stories, and encouraged me to fully accept who I was, and to want to live my life that way. “I will always be grateful for their coming into my life when they did. They were my ‘sign’ I was looking for. After that, I joined a dating service, and began my search to find someone to share my life with.” Keegan’s family has been accepting of her coming out. As Keegan explains, “My family has been supportive. I think Dad accepted it much easier than Mom, just because he has been exposed to gay people much more

Patty Keegan grew up in a family business that was GLBTfriendly. In 1975, her father, Jack Keegan, opened Jakeeno’s, an Italian restaurant, at 3555 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis. In the 1980s, he operated a branch at West 15th Street and LaSalle Avenue, Minneapolis, which closed after a few years. As well, Jakeeno’s Trattoria is now up the street from the original in the Midtown Global Market at 920 East Lake Street, Minneapolis.
As Patty Keegan says, “His support of the GLBT community started decades ago when we had a second location near Loring Park.” A quarter-century ago, under Jack Keegan’s aegis, Jakeeno’s was one of the first local food establishments to advertise in the fledgling gay press—such as Tim Campbell’s GLC Voice Newspaper. Patty Keegan recalls, “It was great growing up in the pizza business. Both of my sisters and I worked for our Dad at some point from junior high on. It gave us exposure to many different kinds of people, and taught us respect and tolerance.” Even as her father was marketing Jakeeno’s to the GLBT community, Keegan began to sense that her sexual orientation was unlike that of her peers. In Keegan’s words, “I had always known I was different from my friends, but wasn’t ready to accept and live it until about four years ago.” After a number of years of keeping her secret, Keegan finally came out in a unique way while on vacation thanks to a Jakeeno’s patron.

than she has. “Everyone was surprised, which at times cracks me up, because as I look back, there were so many obvious signs that even I say, ‘Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t see myself as gay!’ “They do worry—they don’t want things to be hard for me. But they’ve accepted and included my girlfriend in our lives. They have all said that they just want me to be happy. That is the most important thing!” Today, Jack Keegan is retired from Jakeeno’s, although he helps out frequently, especially at the lunch rush, and his daughter notes, “I am now co-owner and sole operator, as my sister, Amy, has left the daily operations.” Regarding her being open about her sexual orientation, Patty Keegan observes, “I don’t know how much my being gay has affected our business either positively or negatively. I’m sure there are people on both sides that will either support us more because I am, or reject us now that they know.” What else would Keegan tell Lavender readers, particularly those who have not decided to live openly yet? As Keegan remarks, “Contrary to what some of my employees might say, I am not one to give advice. But each person will know when it is their time to live an openly gay life. You have to be comfortable with who you are, and not be worried about what everyone else might think. I do wish I had figured things out earlier in life. I wasted a lot of time not being ready, but in the end, the life I’m living and the woman in it were worth the wait.”

16

October 8-20, 2010

Photo by Hubert Bonnet

17

LavenderMagazine.com

> National Coming Out Day

COMING OUT AT WORK
A DEMONSTRATION OF PRIDE
[ by Vanessa Sheridan ]

Some people have referred to coming out on the job as taking a great leap of faith. I think it’s an exceptional demonstration of both courage and common sense.
For many of us, coming out at work is that point in time when we say to ourselves, “I’m going to stop living my life worrying about what others may think. I have paid my dues, and I deserve to be the real me!” Or perhaps we say, “I need to see where this takes me. I need to live out what I know to be true about myself, and I refuse to hide my truth any longer.” No matter what our situation may be, it’s true that coming out at work can happen in any number of different and unique ways. Some take a few baby steps and test the waters before reaching that point where hiding who they are is no longer an option for them. Others simply drop the bomb and let it all hang out in one flashpoint of personal revelation. I humbly would submit that coming out at work can be a major life achievement. It’s a legitimate act of pride demonstrating honesty and integrity about one’s core orientation and/or identity. A courageous step like that deserves admiration and respect. Let’s consider it logically: For most of us, going to work every day is a big part of our lives. Why should anyone be forced to live a lie and/or deny the truth of who he or she is for a large portion of each day? Why should a person be required to hide something that’s intrinsic to his or her very being? After all, sexual orientation or gender identity isn’t some minor personality quirk. It informs everything about us, including how we operate in the world. No one should have to sacrifice self-esteem or personal identity to be successful at a job or to gain access to workplace opportunities. Coming out allows us to live truthfully, to share our best selves with our coworkers, and to stop wasting a boatload of psychic energy on obfuscation and/or deception. It’s important to recognize that while coming out at work potentially may ruffle the feathers of a few disapproving souls, you aren’t here to make everyone comfortable at your own expense. None of us are in this world solely to live up to someone else’s expectations.

Coming out is about no longer pretending you aren’t GLBT just to placate someone else’s tender sensibilities. After all, what about your personal comfort level? What about your feelings, needs, and sensibilities—don’t they matter just as much as anyone else’s? Where do someone else’s rights to be comfortable end, and where do yours begin? Why should you continue to deny or hide your true self because of what someone else might think or say about you? Besides, at some point, we all have to think about our own peace of mind. Coming out with integrity can permit GLBT people to do just that. Of course, the other side of the coming-out coin involves certain risks of which we should be aware before making such an important decision. Consider this: Once you have come out, you cannot go back in the closet. People will know about you, and they are not going to forget. The door will have been opened, and you can’t shut it again. Coming-out hazards also may involve experiencing discrimination, bigotry, and intolerance from others. While increasing numbers of workplaces are adopting transgender nondiscrimination policies, it is possible that harassment, gossip, hurtful jokes, unseemly comments, and exclusion still may occur. Unfortunately, coming out on the job even may precipitate confrontations, physical attacks, or property damage. Though regrettable, such things have been known to happen. It is best to be aware and be prepared for possible hostile reactions. Try to avoid potential situations in which physical altercations might occur. That’s not being cowardly—it’s being intelligent and safe. If you feel that physical attacks may be a possibility in your workplace, be prudent, discretionary, strategic, and smart. You may be the bravest person in the world, but that won’t help you much if you’re lying in a hospital or the morgue. Despite these potentially difficult and occasionally dangerous scenarios, it’s encouraging to note that more and more people are coming out on the job every day—and they’re doing so for some extremely valid purposes. People seem to have two primary reasons for taking the important step of coming out at work.

18

October 8-20, 2010

The first reason is personal: You will be a better, happier, more productive, and healthier individual and employee if and/or when you are able to live your life openly and without fear of discovery. Anxiety about potential blackmail at work will cease to be an issue. You no longer will need to hide or pretend. You will have an inner peace and new opportunities to live a richer, more satisfying life on the job. You will be free to do your work and make your best contributions in a way that demonstrates wholeness and truth. A remarkable liberation of the spirit takes place whenever someone comes out, and begins to live life as a complete human being. Coming out will enable you honestly to be the person that you want and need to be in your workplace. You will be liberated to be who you truly are, not who others may think you are or should be. A second reason for coming out on the job is that you will enrich not only your own life, but also the life of your organization and those around you. Openness about your personal status can lead to strengthened relationships and greater trust among friends and coworkers. People will have a firsthand opportunity to witness your integrity in action. By coming out, you will gift others with

an opportunity to learn, to become more aware, to have their boundaries stretched, and to have the experience of working with someone who may be ‘‘different,’’ but who is equally valid in terms of his or her human worth and professional abilities. Whenever we come out on the job, we actually are negotiating our own visibility and viability as an employee and a human being. So, here we are. Out. Out at last! We are out in remarkable numbers, with more of us coming out all the time. Never before in history has society’s awareness of the GLBT community been greater than it is right now, but far too often, the public’s perceptions of us are flawed and misinformed. Considering just how many of us there are, and we are many millions strong: Why is it that only a relative handful of us enthusiastically are involved in trying to make things better for all of us? Why is it that only a small percentage of us actively work to correct the horrible, negative, and inaccurate perceptions of our people— which tend to hang on like leeches, and refuse to fade into well-deserved obscurity? How can we, individually and collectively, begin to educate and demonstrate that we are not the bathroom predators, invaders, and sex monsters some fervently portray us to be? Increasingly, laws are being passed that

give GLBT persons certain protections and accommodations. Antidiscrimination statutes are being adopted locally and statewide around the nation. However, laws alone will not alter how we are seen and thought of by the public. A positive public opinion is the key to successful, widespread acceptance by the larger society. So, what can we do to begin changing the erroneous perceptions of the general public once and for all? One thing is to stand up for ourselves with dignity at work or wherever we may be. Margaret Wheatley writes, “What happens when we claim our right to be fully human? Everyone benefits. Even those who feel superior, who demean and discount us, benefit when we claim our full humanity. When we refuse to accept degrading conditions and behaviors, those in power no longer have a target for their oppressive acts.” Coming out at work uniquely can demonstrate the intrinsic value of human difference in making organizations more successful. People who remain in the closet cannot be fully honest about who they are, nor can they share openly about the important aspects of their personal life. Such sharing is significant, for these human interactions can create connections, and bring a team together, helping it to function effectively during stressful, demanding moments. In the end, the decision to come out at work is a highly personal one. Most people who have made that choice do not regret it, and wish they had done it sooner. Almost all of them feel an enhanced sense of satisfaction. Let’s hope each of us one day will experience that kind of pride in ourselves and in our remarkable GLBT community.

19

LavenderMagazine.com

Home & Yard Boulevard |

[ by E.B. Boatner ]

Photos Courtesy of Village Green

"LIFESTYLE“MORE LIKE AN URBAN RESORT” FOR RENT" MILL DISTRICT CITY APARTMENTS:

T

he handsome complex rising at 225 Portland Avenue, Minneapolis— across from the Guthrie Theater, and overlooking Downtown and the Mississippi River—is the fifth project in the Twin Cities to be brought to fruition by Village Green, provider of qual-

ity rental units since 1919. Speaking at the groundbreaking for this $25 million endeavor in October 2009, Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak said, “Under some of the most challenging economic situations, many people came together, and put the extra effort in to make this project a

reality. The perseverance of our city’s economic development staff, local leaders like US Bank, and the incredible team at Village Green are showing that Minneapolis is open for business, and that great things are happening in our city even during these difficult economic times.”

20

October 8-20, 2010

21

LavenderMagazine.com

> Mill District City Apartments

SHOULD YOU EVER WISH TO LEAVE YOUR NEW DIGS, YOU CAN VENTURE OUT TO MEET NEIGHBORS AT THE INDOOR/ OUTDOOR MOVIE THEATER, LOUNGE WITH YOUR ELECTRONIC TOYS NEAR WIRELESS HOT SPOTS, OR SHOP AT THE ONSITE 3,500-SQUARE-FOOT SPECIALTY MARKET.

Recently, Village Green CEO and Chairman Jonathan Holtzman discussed the development of Mill District City Apartments with Lavender. Holtzman recounted, “Village Green has been in Minneapolis since 1995. We have chosen Minneapolis, because people have consistently thought that Minneapolis represents an excellent lifestyle with an excellent quality of companies, a positive political environment, as well as a commitment to housing for people living in Minneapolis-St. Paul.” Village Green’s four previous Minneapolis projects are Eitel Building City Apartments, Lake Calhoun City Apartments, Loring Park City Apartments, and Uptown City Apartments. Holtzman explained that Village Green’s latest project is “based on the knowledge and experience gained from [these] four communities, responding to renters living at our other apartment communities, as well as to the companies that we do business with for corporate relocation and furnished apartments. Mill District City Apartments represents the taste and style of finishes incorporated into a green building meeting the standards developed by the National Association of Home Builders [NAHB] and the National Multi-Housing Council [NMHC], equivalent to Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design [LEED] standards.” Asked about the rationale behind creating apartment complexes, rather than buyer-owned condo or town house communities, Holtzman replied, “Regardless of single-family homes going up or down in value, renters will rent for a period of time before they decide to purchase a home or condominium. There is actually an increasing demand for apartment rental. Minneapolis-St. Paul companies hire young people out of college who will rent before they buy, as will renters relocating to Minneapolis, divorced individuals before they buy again, and empty-nesters downsizing from a house or condominium to a rental apartment. We have seen a very clear trend towards urban, modern, brand-new, and green.”

That rental trend is being made a reality in the 175 furnished/unfurnished units in Mill City District Apartments, which include a dazzling array of amenities for the renter (including flexible lease terms). Surrounding a 14,000-square-foot private, professionally-landscaped park, the studio to three-bedroom and penthouse options offer 30 floor plans from 500 to 1,400 square feet. Units boast 9- to 18-foot ceilings; white or cherry finish cabinets; granite islands in kitchens; fireplaces; built-in wine racks; “sexy” (according to the literature) bathrooms; private entries with walkout patios; bay windows; custom walk-in closets; and three balcony choices. Should you ever wish to leave your new digs, you can venture out to meet neighbors at the indoor/outdoor movie theater, lounge with your electronic toys near wireless hot spots, or shop at the onsite 3,500-squarefoot specialty market. By locating Mill District City Apartments within walking distance of the Mississippi River, culture, shopping, art, entertainment, and work, Village Green is able to provide residents with, as the literature puts it, “the energy of a city together with the serenity of the building’s private park”—a heady mix not offered to any other local complex. But Mill City District City Apartments, like Village Green’s previous projects, brings more to the city than the luxury and security it provides its residents. Holtzman stressed, “Real estate is a major employer of architects, engineers, suppliers, subcontractors, manufacturers, and employees. Each one of Village Green’s apartment communities is a major contributor to the economic benefit of the city, i.e., real estate taxes, plus [residents] living Downtown spend money in the neighborhood, and utilize mass transit to attend cultural and sporting events.” Not confined to Minneapolis, or even to Minnesota, developer Village Green has been an owner/operator of apartment communities—40,000 apartments in 140 rental communities in 13 states—for 91 years. Holtzman stated, “We believe this is an

excellent business offering an alternative to ownership to our growing customer base of individuals and companies. Rental apartments at Village Green are a ‘Lifestyle for Rent,’ offering flexibility, amenities, and services that are not enjoyed with home ownership. When an individual decides they want to be an owner and no longer a renter, Village Green assists by utilizing some of their rent towards the purchase of a home or a condominium.” Village Green operates its communities under five distinct brands: Village Green, City Apartments, Regents Park, Village Park, and Leading Furnished Suites. According to Holtzman, “We compare our brands to Porsche, Ralph Lauren, W Hotels, and Apple, because consumers—our renters—are looking for a brand that appeals to their lifestyle. Each Village Green brand is designed for what they perceive for different customers. The suburban communities that Village Green owns and operates are different than our urban communities. Village Green has communities that are reasonably priced, and also has communities priced as a luxury brand. As a rental owner/operator, we are trying to serve as many customers as we can in our various markets. If we succeed with location, quality, resort-class amenities, timesaving services, and a green building, this creates a successful apartment community for Village Green, the City of Minneapolis, and for our residents.” Holtzman noted with pride, “Village Green professionals have been with our company for many years, and are, therefore, integral to our philosophy of creating a ‘Lifestyle for Rent’ at our apartment communities. Village Green believes in its philosophy to be part of the community, from Mayor Rybak to Council Member Lisa Goodman and all the various departments in the City of Minneapolis, as well as the local neighborhood and business groups. We do not see ourselves as an ‘out-of-town’ owner/ operator, but part of the local community.” First occupancy is scheduled for this fall, with completion in early 2011. For more information, visit <www.vil lagegreen.com>.

22

October 8-20, 2010

23

LavenderMagazine.com

Big Gay News >
[ Written & Compiled by Bradley Traynor ]

NATIONAL
FEDERAL JUDGE ORDERS MILITARY TO REINSTATE GAY NURSE
US District Judge Ronald B. Leighton ruled that an Air Force nurse, Reserve Major Margaret Witt, who was discharged under the military’s ban on openly gay service members, should be “reinstated at the earliest possible moment.” In his 15-page opinion, he stated that she “was an effective leader…and an integral member of an effective team. Her loss within the squadron resulted in a diminution of the unit’s ability to carry out its mission.”

TELEVANGELIST SAYS HE’LL FIGHT SEX ALLEGATIONS
CNN reports Baptist televangelist Eddie Long, accused of coercing at least four teenage male church members into having sex with him, announced from his pulpit in Georgia that he will fight the allegations in court. He said, “I am not the man that has been portrayed on television.” He faces four civil lawsuits that claim he used his status as Pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church to force the teenagers into sexual relationships with him.

19 PERCENT OF GAY, BISEXUAL MEN IN US CITIES HAVE HIV

According to a new study by the US Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention, nearly 20 percent of gay and bisexual men in 21 major US cities are infected with HIV, but almost half of them don’t know it. The researchers also found that the lower a man’s socioeconomic status, the more likely he is to have HIV. CDC recommends that all men who have sex with men get tested for HIV each year, and those who have multiple sex partners or use drugs during sex get tested every three to six months.

24

October 8-20, 2010

25

LavenderMagazine.com

News & Politics > Behaving Bradley

Justin Aaberg
[ by Bradley Traynor ]

Remembering

omeone once told a colleague of mine that he stopped listening to my Big Gay News podcast because the stories were always so depressing. I wondered if perhaps he had unrealistic expectations of the word “gay.” Still, I understand his reaction. Clearly, regardless of all the progress over the last generation, the world is still a pretty grim, unwelcome place for GLBT people. I’m reminded of this fact every morning, as I scour the Internet looking for the day’s top stories. Headlines like “Attackers Sought in Beating of Gay Man,” “Man Charged in Murder of Transgender Woman,” and “Gay Activist Found Beheaded” are the norm. If it’s not a physical assault, it’s often a political or religious one. To say I’ve become somewhat numb over the past few years is an uncomfortably true understatement. I’d like to believe it’s partially an act of self-preservation. Thankfully, I haven’t become a wholly unfeeling news-gathering automaton yet. Often, a story sneaks through my wall of detachment—usually one that’s local, or hits home in some other way. Such is frequently the case with stories of antigay bullying, probably because I, like many, was once the victim of it, and struggled for much of my adolescence with being gay. It’s no surprise, then, that I paid particular attention to the story of Justin Aaberg, the 15-year-old gay Anoka High School student who took his own life after an internal struggle with his sexual orientation, made worse by the bullying of his peers. Unlike many, he had been able to come out to his mother and friends. He even had a boyfriend for a time. Still, the bullying and the pain were so great that he felt his only

S

October 8-20, 2010

Tammy Aaberg (right) and her son, Andrew Aaberg, remember her son and his brother, Justin Aaberg, at a press conference on September 27 in front of the Anoka-Hennepin School District Educational Service Center. Photo by Sophia Hantzes

26

27

LavenderMagazine.com

solution was to take his own life. Beyond my heartfelt sadness over this untimely death and the frustration that antigay bullying persists, one thing kept me thinking about this particular tragedy. Shortly after her son’s death, his mother, Tammy Aaberg, testified before the Anoka-Hennepin School Board. During her testimony, she called on the school district to address antigay bullying better. In the process, she highlighted its policy toward sexual orientation. I found this policy particularly troubling when I read it: “Teaching about sexual orientation is not a part of the District adopted curriculum; rather, such matters are best addressed within individual family homes, churches, or community organizations. Anoka-Hennepin staff, in the course of their professional duties, shall remain neutral on matters regarding sexual orientation including but not limited to student-led discussions. If and when staff address sexual orientation, it is important that staff do so in a respectful manner that is age-appropriate, factual, and pertinent to the relevant curriculum.” The district argues that this “neutral” policy attempts to respect the diversity of opinion regarding sexual orientation. Critics like Aaberg counter that it unnecessarily prevents teachers from helping gay students. The district states that its antibullying policies specifically require teachers to address it, even if it’s directed at a student because of perceived sexual orientation. Quite frankly, the district’s approach appears vague, contradictory, and ultimately harmful. What message does it send to a young student struggling with being gay? “Our attitude toward your very existence is neutral.” Teachers can’t talk about the issue until it escalates to the point of bullying, and even then, no clear guidance is give on how to discuss the topic. That seems like the least-effective possible approach. Thankfully, the grief caused by Justin Aaberg’s death is being turned into action. A group of parents, students, and teachers actively is lobbying the district to change its policies. If only school districts like AnokaHennepin acknowledged the presence of GLBT students, and provided support for them, then perhaps some day I’d be able to include more stories in each day’s Big Gay News about the achievements of our community, rather than its tragedies. And for that guy who stopped listening, I gladly would change the name to Big Happy News.

> Arts & Entertainment

PLAYWRIGHT DISCUSSES GAY CURRENTS IN HER
THE MASTER BUTCHERS SINGING CLUB
[ by John Townsend ]

Interview with Marsha Norman
Marsha Norman often is regarded as America’s greatest living woman playwright, but she’s also one of the greatest living American dramatists of either gender. Her work stands toe to toe with male greats like Tony Kushner, David Mamet, and Sam Shepard. Norman won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama for Night Mother in 1983, the same year Alice Walker won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction for The Color Purple. In 2006, Norman was nominated for the Tony Award for her book for The Color Purple’s musical stage version. She won the Tony for Best Book for a Musical for The Secret Garden in 1991. For the Guthrie Theater, Norman has adapted Minnesotan Louise Erdrich’s beloved novel The Master Butchers Singing Club into what may be the playwright’s masterpiece, as well as a rival to Thornton Wilder’s Our Town for “The Great American Play.” Under Francesca Zambello’s direction, it enthralls as a towering production. Erdrich birthed a tapestry of themes in her novel that Norman has woven into dramatic form. One major thread is how hetero protagonist Delphine (Emily Gunyou Halaas) and Cyprian (Charlie Brady), a gay man, struggle with their long-term commitment to each other. I interviewed Norman before I saw the show, but I can vouch, now having seen it, that the piece is not only a fair depiction, but also an utterly-breakthrough depiction of a straight person thwarted by a partner who cannot integrate his gay orientation fully into his life. Of course, given that the play is set between World Wars I and II, that

Photo Courtesy of Guthrie Theater

Katie Guentzel as Eva and Emily Gunyou Halaas as Delphine in the Guthrie Theater production of The Master Butchers Singing Club. Photo by Michal Daniel

28

October 8-20, 2010

29

LavenderMagazine.com

> Marsha

Norman

lack of integration is understandable. This Guthrie-created new work is superior to last year’s Guthrie-generated The Intelligent Homosexual’s Guide by another Pulitzer- and Tony-winner, Kushner. And the new play’s gay aspect arguably is every bit as compelling. Moreover, Brady and Halaas are simply endearing. Plus, the make-out scene between Brady and John Catron, both handsome devils, seems every bit as transgressive as what we saw in Kushner’s work last year. The Master Butchers Singing Club should go to Broadway. It’s even better than the gripping The Scottsboro Boys, which the Guthrie will be sending there. I spoke with Norman about the gay currents in her new play, as well as gender issues. Tell me about Cyprian. He’s gay. He’s Ojibwe. He’s an acrobat. And Delphine has run off with him. She’s the daughter of the town drunk. She’s run off with him after high school just to get away from her father, and they toured Manitoba doing their tricks. He’s really quite a balancing expert. And that comes to mean, in this world, balancing this pretend life of, OK, I’m with this woman. I’m passing for straight. But actually, we learn early in the play that some nights, he doesn’t come back to the hotel. And we deal with him very openly really fast—with the fact that he meets men on park benches, and this is something that he needs, and this is something that is central to him. And Delphine agrees to begin to know about that. One of the things I realized is that we needed to know that right off the bat. It’s the mid-1930s when we meet them. We need to see that he’s having to balance what the world will accept at that time and what the world will make difficult for him. So, he has this companion woman, Delphine, to whom he pretends to be married. Does this take a toll on her? There’s a line that says: “So, she forgave him his lack of sexual heat, and decided that his desperate need for her was enough.” She’s not had any experience with sex or love—either one, I think—having grown up taking care of the drunk father. Cyprian’s the guy that wants to be with her. So, she’s made her sacrifices, and she deals with them as the play proceeds. But his love is true, and so is his need for men. And they ultimately have a conversation where she says, “If you love me, then

30

October 8-20, 2010

why do you do what you do with men?” He finally explains, “The feeling that most men have for women, I have for men.” She asks him if it started in the war [World War I], and he says, “Yes, I loved a man in the war, but I’ve always been like this.” You have a great feminist following, but I have always felt you have a deep and complex understanding of men. I think I work extra-hard presenting men, because I feel like certainly I’m writing outside my experience. And I think that anytime you write outside your experience, whether it’s The Color Purple or the world of men, you have to ask them, talk to them, so that you get them as they recognize themselves, not as they’re seen from afar. The languages that men and women speak are really very different. You’ll really hear that in this play. The things that men and women perceive to be problems are quite different. The solutions that men and women are looking for are quite different. I mean, those things really interest me as a human on the planet—that work Carol Gilligan did when she tested men and women for meanings of words, where she asked, “What does ‘tender’ mean?” Women would go, like, baby imagery. And men would go, like, “Oh, God! I hit my knee. Or, where that guy kicked me, it’s tender.” That’s really a profound difference in language and a sense of what is. I am fiercely feminist in terms of making sure that the place of women is represented equally on the stages of America. Last year, only 13 percent of the plays presented in America were written by women. Even though 70 percent of tickets are bought by women, theaters by and large don’t assume that the audience wants plays by or about women. In fact, plays about women are the most successful. Of all the awards presented last year in the New York world, even though there were 51 productions written by women, there was only one nominated in the writing. So, a group of us got together, and gave our own award ceremony, the Lilly Award. The Lillian Hellman estate gave us the name so fast, we didn’t even have to finish the sentence. But this is something that really needs to be worked on.
LavenderMagazine.com

The Master Butchers Singing Club Through Nov. 6 Guthrie Theater 818 2nd St. S., Mpls. (612) 377-2224 <www.guthrietheater.org>

31

Arts & Entertainment > On the Townsend

[ by John Townsend ]

Vigil. Photo by Michal Daniel

SLEEP DEPRIVATION CHAMBER
Through Oct. 10 Penumbra Theatre 270 N. Kent St., St. Paul (651) 224-3180 <www.penumbratheatre.org>

The Glass Menagerie. Photo by Michal Daniel

Urvashi Vaid writes of “virtual equality” as the illusion of equality for queer folks. Playwrights Adam and Adrienne Kennedy show the racial equivalent in this forceful true-life drama. Lucas Bellamy gives a bravely vulnerable performance as Teddy, a racially-profiled teen of color brutalized by police. Indira Addington as Suzanne, his mother, captures the incredulity of a woman who wrongly thought her middle-class status would shield her family from racism. In an enthralling court scene, a searing Stephen Cartmell as Teddy’s lawyer deliciously exposes an abusive cop ominously portrayed by Carl Atiya Swanson.
THE GLASS MENAGERIE
October 8-20, 2010

early masterwork uncannily and electrically charges the way economic collapse rigidifies gender roles. As poverty seeps into the already-unstable Wingfield family, matriarch Amanda (Wendy Lehr) retreats into romantic illusions about “gentleman callers” of her youth, while unreasonably pressuring her shy disabled daughter, Laura (Alayne Hopkins), to snare a husband. Amanda’s son, Tom (Joshua James Campbell), is expected to be an unthinking provider whose dreams are deemed folly in his mother’s emasculating eyes. Superb Michael Booth sports a callous edge as Jim, Tom’s coworker. Though he rushes his narration at start and end, Campbell’s is the best Tom I’ve seen since Jeffrey Alan Chandler’s Guthrie turn 31 years ago—and I’ve seen many such Toms.
THE GREAT GAME: AFGHANISTAN
Through Oct. 17 Guthrie Theater 818 S. 2nd St., Mpls. (612) 377-2224 <www.guthrietheater.org>

bulent history since 1842 for the Guthrie’s WorldStage series. It’s performed in sections consisting of short plays. Part I reflects British rivalry with Russia, from which the term “Great Game” derives. Part II addresses connections between Communism and the Taliban. Part III portrays American involvement in the current quagmire. For those who still keep claiming wrongly that the Guthrie plays it safe, here’s more evidence to the contrary.
VIGIL
Through Oct. 17 Pillsbury House Theatre 3502 Chicago Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 825-0459 <www.pillsburyhousetheatre.org>

Through Oct. 17 Jungle Theater 2900 Lyndale Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 822-7063 <www.jungletheater.com>

Director Bain Boehlke’s exquisite revival of gay playwright Tennessee Williams’s

London’s Tricycle Theatre tours its acclaimed epic marathon of Afghanistan’s tur-

Actress Shirley Venard’s tragicomic genius sublimely radiates as an elderly woman whose nephew raids her home to rip her off. With very little dialogue, she registers an epic range of emotions totally germane to Morris Panych’s delightfully quirky script. Steve Hendrickson as nephew Kemp is hilariously manic. One wonders if he’s so uptight because he can’t face his queer side. Stephen DiMenna directs with rich wit and depth.

32

Rock of Ages. Photo by Joan Marcus

DUDLEY: RIGGED FOR LAUGHTER
Through Oct. 23 History Theatre 30 E. 10th St., St. Paul (651) 292-4323 <www.historytheatre.com>

When Dudley Riggs founded Brave New Workshop (BNW) Comedy Theatre in 1958 (pre-Guthrie), roughly six local theaters existed. The troupe was controversial for its aggressive political satire, which paved the way for gay and political theater that came to thrive in the Twin Cities. Dane Stauffer, gay cowriter of the new play about Riggs’s life, reminds us that he was “fiercely devoted to mocking the outrageous, railing at injustice, going against the grain, and mining it all for laughter. The police almost shut him down, because they thought his cappuccino maker—the first one west of the Mississippi—was a still!”
ROCK OF AGES
Oct. 19-24 Orpheum Theatre 910 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (800) 982-2787 <www.HennepinTheatreTrust.org>

33

LavenderMagazine.com

Tony-nominated for Best Musical, this 1980s rock smash has beaten the odds. Producer Janet Billig Rich relates, “This period of music isn’t given the respect that other times get, maybe because it’s hard to take a guy in spandex with huge hair seriously. But from the very beginning, when the audience sees it, they go crazy. Book writer Chris D’Arienzo turns these songs on their head. We’ve always stayed really authentic to the rock, [but] we’ve never gotten cheesy. Our players have always played it real, so I think that’s why it connects.”

Arts & Entertainment > The Page Boy

[ by E.B. Boatner ]

Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation
KATE BORNSTEIN AND S. BEAR BERGMAN SEAL PRESS $16.95

Let’s Get this Straight: The Ultimate Handbook for Youth with LGBTQ Parents
TINA FAKHRID-DEEN WITH COLAGE SEAL PRESS $15.95

On Location: A Rita Farmer Mystery
ELIZABETH SIMS MINOTAUR BOOKS $25.99

Secret Historian: The Life and Times of Samuel Steward, Professor, Tattoo Artist, and Sexual Renegade
JUSTIN SPRING FARRAR, STRAUS & GIROUX $32.50

A generation ago, author, playwright, and performance artist Kate Bornstein’s groundbreaking Gender Outlaws gave voice to people whose gender and attitudes had not before found a venue for expression. Now, 15 years later, trans is not unknown, but it and genderqueer continue to proliferate, pushing the boundaries of perceived cultural, social, and sexual “norms.” These 50 pieces include an “Introduction,” “Interlude,” and “Epilogue” by Bornstein and Bergman. The contents range freely and untrammeled through cartoons (“transcension,” by Katie Diamond and Johnny Blazes); essays (“The Manly Art of Pregnancy,” by j wallace); and biography (“Glitter, Glitter, on the Wall, Who’s the Queerest of Them All?,” by local academic and performer Esmé Rodríguez, AKA T. Kupin-Escobar). In short, something will amuse, shock, titillate, please, and instruct any passing reader. As original gender outlaw Bornstein sees it, “People are STARTING from further that I got to when I’d finished writing Gender Outlaw. That’s EXACTLY what I hoped to live to see.”

34

October 8-20, 2010

Author Tina Fakhrid-Deen is the first to acknowledge the vital input of her participants, voices from individuals ages 8 to 36. Her “coauthor” is COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere), a national “movement of children, youth, and adults with one or more lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and/or queer (LGBTQ) parent(s).” This book is a marvelous tool for anyone—especially children (between 10 and 14 million of them are estimated)—who have at least one gay parent. Fakhrid-Deen herself was such a child. This book has been aimed at ages 10 and up, written throughout at a fourth- or fifth-grade level, though by no means talking down or condescending to the adult reader. Parents are warned that the topics are complex and real. While issues may make LGBTQ adults uncomfortable, they are ones that parents will face with their kids: coming out to them, school bullying, couple breakups, and dealing daily with “being different.” It’s a gutsy, important, useful book.

Rita Farmer is on the hunt again with her three favorite men: Daniel, her gay best friend; George Rowe, her PI boyfriend; and Petey, her 6-year-old son. From an innocuous read-through of a bad script in LA’s Griffith Park, she finds herself on a frantic hunt through flooded wilderness in Washington State, searching for her sister, Gina, and her boyfriend, lost on location for the film of said script. Like even bad scripts, life can get complicated. Gina’s boyfriend, Lance, is the brother of the would-be film director, Kenner de Sauvenard. The brothers are heirs to a timber fortune in the very forests of those Northwest wilds. Unknown to all but the perpetrators, however, dirty work is afoot: murder, skullduggery, kidnapping, and dark family secrets that only can be put right by an axe-wielding Rita and her posse—especially the preternaturally savvy Petey. Lance and Kenner’s Mom is a marvelouslydrawn, not-so-minor character. Here’s a satisfying page-turner by Lambda Award-winner Sims.

While Samuel Steward’s name (and pseudonyms) have been known to some, the full scope of his life (1909-1993) only became public knowledge through the happy circumstance of the discovery of his vast trove of papers, memorabilia, and meticulous cataloguing of sexual encounters by author Justin Spring. This “Stud File” might have been only compulsive note-taking had it not included Rudolph Valentino, yetto-be-stage-named Rock Hudson, Oscar Wilde’s Bosie, and others. In an equally serendipitous moment, Steward earlier had crossed paths with sexual behaviorist Alfred Kinsey, with whom he formed an important friendship, and to whom he devoted many hours of documentation. A brief review like this cannot begin to scratch the surface of Steward’s life, but a reading of Spring’s remarkable book about this indisputably remarkable subject offers a view into not only a life, but also a homosexual one as lived in the 1920s to 1960s. It’s a window into a world we are fortunate to be changing (so far).

35

LavenderMagazine.com

Bar Advertiser Guide |

Bartender Spotlight |
[ by George Holdgrafer ]

ve. 1s t A

02 05 01
15 th S t.
H

04
ve. in A
t

p enne
Nic

1 n A st St ve . N . .

Snelling Ave.

hin

gto

olle

e. Av 07

Univ ersit

Minnehaha Ave.

y Av e.

03
University Ave.

Dale St.

W as

Ce

ve. 3rd A E N e. Av al Hennepin Ave. ntr

Larpenteur Ave. Larpenteur Ave.

Hen nep in

Ave .

08
26th Ave. S.
Selby Ave. Grand Ave.

7t
Ro b

hS

t.

06
er tS t.

04

Lake St.

01

19 BAR

19 W. 15th St., Mpls. (612) 871-5553
Shoot pool or play darts at your neighborhood bar-----the Twin Cities’s oldest GLBT establishment.

08

TOWN HOUSE

▼

1415 University Ave. W., St. Paul (651) 646-7087 <www.townshousebar.com>
Fun neighborhood bar with a great mix of men and women. Karaoke. Drag shows.

JASON

02

BRASS RAIL

422 Hennepin. Ave., Mpls. (612) 332-RAIL (7245) <www.thebrassraillounge.com>
Completely remodeled elegant lounge featuring variety of entertainment: karaoke, male dancers, and more.

Superior

•
Wisconsin

WHO
Jason

03

COALE'S

719 N. Dale St. St. Paul, MN (651) 487-5829
Areanna Coale, proprietor. Now open. An eclectic enigma filled with joy and happiness. Everyone welcome!

WHAT
Recipe: Snow Cone 2 parts Blue Raspberry Vodka 1 part Peach Schnapps 7UP Lemonade Garnish with cherry

04

GAY 90’S

408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (612) 333-7755 <www.gay90s.com>
Upper Midwest’s Largest Gay Entertainment Complex. Serving reasonably priced menu in main bar Wednesday-Sunday.
WI

THE FLAME

WHEN
Wed. • 9 PM-2 AM • Happy Hour Bar Other Hours Variable

05

GLADIUS

1612 Tower Ave., Superior (715) 395-0101 <www.SuperiorFlame.com>

1111 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (612) 332-9963 <www.gladiusbar.com>
The New York Chic of Minneapolis. Gladius Goddesses Tuesday. Killer B's Karaoke Wednesday.

WHERE
Gay 90’s 408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (612) 333-7755 <www.gay90s.com>

WI

THE MAIN CLUB

1217 Tower Ave., Superior (715) 392-1756 <www.mainclubsuperior.com>

06

RUMOURS/INNUENDO
213 E. 4th St., St. Paul (651) 225-GLBT (4528) <www.rumours-innuendo.com>
Rumours: hottest dance club with fabulous DJs. Innuendo: casual, intimate "Cheers" ambience for quiet conversation.

WHY
“Six bars under one roof. Drink specials galore. Dining WednesdaySunday. Nightly entertainment: karaoke Monday; drag shows Tuesday-Sunday; male dancers Friday-Sunday.”

07

TICKLES

October 8-20, 2010

420 S. 4th St., Mpls. (612) 354-3846 <www.ticklesbar.com>
Live Piano Music. Full-Service Menu, Happy Hour, Sports on 10 Flat-Panel TVs, Pool, Darts.

36

37

LavenderMagazine.com

Bar Scene > Bar Showcase
19 BAR
September 29

[ Photos by George Holdgrafer ]

38

October 8-20, 2010

39

LavenderMagazine.com

Bar Scene > Bar Calendar
For club addresses, phone numbers, and Web sites, see “Bar Advertiser Guide” on page 36. For events not at bars, see <LavenderMaga zine.com/calendar>.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 8
YOLO 9 PM. Town House.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 9
TNT Show 9 PM. Town House. Minneapolis Movie Bears Octobearfest Innuendo

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 15
Dragged Out 9:30 PM. Town House. Foam Party Dance Annex, Gay 90’s The Official Margaret Cho After Party Tickles

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 16
Halloween Glow Party Rumours

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 17
Singles Pool Tournament 4 PM. 19 Bar.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21
Lavender’s ThirstDays 5:30 PM. Rumours/Innuendo.

40

October 8-20, 2010

Bar Scene > Lavender Lens
NORTH STAR GAY RODEO ASSOCIATION BARN DANCE
September 25 Dance Hall Creek Farm, Greenfield

[ Photos by Paul Nixdorf ]

41

LavenderMagazine.com

Cuisine > Off the Eaten Path

JAKEENO'S
SERVES FABULOUS HOME-STYLE ITALIAN CUISINE
[ by Heidi Fellner ]
October 8-20, 2010

T

he history of pizza is almost synonymous with that history of Mediterranean cooking, although the former wasn’t given much thought at first. Flatbread dough with assorted toppings merely was used to test the temperature of an oven. If the pizza baked correctly, then the “real” dishes could be prepared.

House Special Pizza. Photos by Hubert Bonnet

42

JAKEENO’S CUSTOMERS TAKE THEIR LOYALTY TO A LEVEL BEYOND WHAT MOST PIZZERIAS EXPERIENCE. OUR SERVER TOLD ME THAT SOME REGULARS GO SO FAR AS TO ORDER THEIR FAVORITE DISH FOUR OR FIVE TIMES A WEEK, SOMETIMES CALLING AHEAD TO SEE IF IT IS STILL AVAILABLE.

Pasta Combo.

43

LavenderMagazine.com

> Off the Eaten Path

Chicken Florentine.

Dining Area.

Pizza didn’t receive any more epicurean notice until the late-1800s, when Italian immigrants were arriving in droves in the United States. Their newly-popularized dish came with them, and the rest is foodie history. By the mid-1900s, pizza had evolved into a truly American food. Jakeeno’s founder Jack Keegan, whose family was Irish, was not a descendant of those poor, tired, pizza-eating Italian immigrants. In 1975, he opened his eponymous restaurant (“Jakeeno’s” is an Italian-sounding merger of his first and last names). His family, including his daughter, Patty, has been serving pizza, pasta, and salads ever since. Pizza dough and sauces all are made in-house, relying on smaller vendors and

organic products whenever possible. If that statement conjures up a stuffy, fussy image, fret not. This is a neighborhood restaurant. The atmosphere is ultracasual. The dishes taste like something your parents could have prepared—that is, if they had that kind of time and access to organic produce. However, Jakeeno’s is not just any homestyle pizza joint. For one, not many offer a Baby Greens Salad ($3.95/$6.50 full). With homemade balsamic vinaigrette dressing, asiago cheese, and walnuts, it makes for a nice change. Jakeeno’s customers take their loyalty to a level beyond what most pizzerias experience. Our server told me that some regulars go so far as to order their favorite dish

four or five times a week, sometimes calling ahead to see if it is still available. I would imagine that Garlic Provolone Cheese Toast (four pieces for $4.25) is one of those call-ahead items. It is just the right balance of garlic with enough cheese to please but not overwhelm. The bread is soft in the middle, with a crust that offers a bit of a bite without being too harsh in the mouth. I appreciate texture in food, perhaps because I am an avid baker, and it is always a treat to visit a kitchen that pays attention to this important detail. In this sense, Jakeeno’s also nails its pasta dishes, which arrive perfectly al dente. Chicken Florentine ($10.50)—made with homemade white butter and cream

44

October 8-20, 2010

45

LavenderMagazine.com

> Off the Eaten Path

Chocolate Mocha Layer Cake with real whipping cream.

Baby green salad.

sauce, mostaccioli pasta, fresh chicken breast, spinach, and cheese—is pure Minnesotan comfort food. A little kick of red pepper flake is always an option at the table. The Pasta Combo ($9) offers a bit of everything if you cannot choose among stuffed shells, cannelloni, or mostaccioli. It’s a bit of a childhood treat, really—a bunch of different shapes and flavors all in one meal. With our pastas and salad, we sipped the generously-poured Pinot Grigio ($6/$20) before moving on to Sangiovese ($8/$26). Daily happy hour specials are 4-6 PM and 8-10 PM, slashing the already-affordable

wines by half (beer is two-for-one). The Big Red Monster ($7/glass), a new offering and still off-menu, was our table’s clear favorite for its full body and clean finish. It also holds up beautifully against the House Special Pizza, with sausage, pepperoni, and mushrooms (10” for $12.79/13” for $17.24/15” for $19.79). The pizza dough is thin-crust perfection for this texture-fan— some bite in the crust, not too chewy, and soft enough to be foldable. Wanting to sample some of Jakeeno’s more nontraditional pies, we opted for a half-and-half of Rosemary Potato ($12.79/$17.24/$19.79) and Barbeque ($12.79/$17.24/$19.79). The former uses

hashbrown-cut potatoes to soak up the olive oil and fresh garlic base without becoming too heavy. The latter, offering chicken, red onions, and cheddar cheese in a sweet and tangy barbeque sauce, responds well to some added red pepper flake. Chocolate Mocha Layer Cake ($4.25) is another call-ahead item, and I can understand why it is the perfect ending to a comforting home-style meal. The taste is honestly reminiscent of an upscale Ho Ho—light and chocolatey—but its impressive four layers are much more moist. One of the most important aspects of the Jakeeno’s success story remains outside its menu. The restaurant has a dedication

46

October 8-20, 2010

to its location that goes above and beyond, working with such organizations as Pillsbury House and The Aliveness Project, along with nearby schools and churches. The corner restaurant that formed around a simple dish has done much more than nourish its generations of fans. It has helped the area remain a vibrant and flourishing South Minneapolis neighborhood.
Jakeeno’s 3555 Chicago Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 825-6827 <www.jakeenos.com>
LavenderMagazine.com

47

48

October 8-20, 2010

Sports & Leisure > Lavender Lens
MANKATO PRIDEFEST
SEPTEMBER 11 RIVERFRONT PARK, MANKATO

[ Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

49

LavenderMagazine.com

Sports & Leisure > Lavender Lens
TWIN CITIES BLACK PRIDE PARK FESTIVAL
SEPTEMBER 12 BOOM ISLAND PARK, MINNEAPOLIS

[ Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

50

October 8-20, 2010

Sports & Leisure > Lavender Lens
ST. CLOUD PRIDE IN THE PARK
SEPTEMBER 25 EASTMAN PARK/LAKE GEORGE, ST. CLOUD

[ Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

51

LavenderMagazine.com

52
[ Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

October 8-20, 2010

Sports & Leisure > Lavender Lens
BINGO A-GOGO
SEPTEMBER 25 HYATT REGENCY HOTEL, MINNEAPOLIS

53

LavenderMagazine.com

Lavender Lens >
[Photos by David K. Wells ]

PROJECT 515 FUNDRAISER
SEPTEMBER 20 PRIVATE RESIDENCE, ST. PAUL

54

October 8-20, 2010

The Network

__ Accounting & Financial Services____ Health & Wellness____ _____ Bookkeepping___

Addiction Info & _ ___ Treatment________ __ Home Services_______
_ ___ Automotive______ __ __ Funeral Services__ _ _

_ _ ___ Barbers__ _______ __

Health & Wellness____

55

LavenderMagazine.com

The Network

Home Services_______ Home Services_______

>

Calendar

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 14
Book Reading. Former Twin Citian and present San Francisco resident Larry-bob Roberts returns for a reading from his new book, The International Homosexual Conspiracy. It’s a collection of 88 essays and rants on a variety of topics, many of them touching on queer culture. Roberts published the zine Holy Titclamps. 7:30 PM. Common Good Books, 65 N. Western Ave., St. Paul. (651) 225-8989. <www.com mongoodbooks.com>.

Le Dance Off.

_ Insurance_____ ______

Photo by Eric Saulitis

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 15
Le Dance Off. James Sewell Ballet presents Le Dance Off, its wry twist on the current craze of celebrity-infused competitive dance. The company offers a collection of new choreography and audience favorites set to music ranging from Bach to Lady Gaga. True to the format, the show brings in exhibitions from guest artists, including Ballet Royal Minnesota (Oct. 15-16) and Summit Dance Shoppe (Oct. 22-24). Through Oct. 24. O’Shaughnessy Auditorium, St. Catherine University, 2004 Randolph Ave., St. Paul. (651) 6906700. <http://oshaughnessy.stkate.edu>.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 16
Vogue/Trash Costume Fashion Ball Benefit. Support Patrick’s Cabaret, now in its 25th year, at this first-ever event. Artists from the organization’s past and present will be strutting their wildest, craziest, and most innovative costumes on the runway. A sick dance party follows, featuring local breakers and funk stylists throwin’ down, with dirty electro and house beats bumpin’ throughout the whole night. Silent Auction 7 PM. Ball 8 PM. Patrick’s Cabaret, 3010 Minnehaha Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 721-3595. <www.patrickscabaret.org>.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19
Rock of Ages. This five-time Tony-nominated musical stars Tony Award-nominee and American Idol finalist Constantine Maroulis. In 1987, on the Sunset Strip, a small-town girl met a big-city dreamer, and in LA’s most legendary rock club, they fell in love to the greatest songs of the ’80s. Through Oct. 24, Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Avenue, Mpls. <www.hen nepintheatretrust.org>. October 8-20, 2010

56

The Network

_ Insurance_____ ______ Psychotherapy_______
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21
The Haunted Theater. Just in time for Halloween, Music Box Theatre presents The Haunted Theater. Having first opened its doors in 1920, this cavernous old theater has stories to tell, with hauntings of long-forgotten characters. This event takes visitors on an eerie journey through a spine-chilling labyrinth of rooms, basements, and corridors where the legends of the theater’s past still wait for audiences to entertain. Through Oct. 31. Music Box Theatre, 1407 Nicollet Ave., Mpls. (612) 424-1407. <www.musicboxthe atre.org>.

Medical Services_____

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 22
Queer Twin Cities Reception and Talk. 7 PM. The Twin Cities GLBT Oral History Project—a collective organization of students, scholars, and activists devoted to documenting and interpreting the lives of Twin Cities GLBT people—is hosting this event to promote its new book, Queer Twin Cities. Published by the University of Minnesota, and edited by Professors Kevin P. Murphy and Jennifer L. Pierce, it’s a uniquely critical collection of essays on Minnesota’s vibrant queer communities, past and present. West Bank Social Center, 501 Cedar Ave., Mpls. (612) 3382720. <http://.westbanksocialcenter.org>.

Pet & Product Services Real Estate_________

Gee's Bend.
Photo by Petronella Ystma

Gee’s Bend. Park Square Theatre presents the regional premiere of playwright Elyzabeth Gregory Wilder’s Gee’s Bend, directed by Austene Van. This epic yet intimate play, which spans more than 65 years, follows Sadie Pettway from her teenage years to her 70s; her sister, Nella; and their mother, Alice. As they persevere through segregation, family turmoil, and the battle for Civil Rights, quilting brings them comfort. Through Nov. 7. Park Square Theatre, 20 W. 7th Pl., St. Paul. (651) 291-7005. <www.parksquarethe atre.com>.

ONGOING Ongoing
515. In Minnesota, at least 515 laws discriminate against families of same-sex couples. In a dynamic collaboration of theater artists, The Flower Shop Project and Project 515 illuminate the inequities faced by same-sex couples, and celebrate a vision of Minnesota where all citizens equally are valued and respected under the law. Through Oct. 10. Patrick’s Cabaret, 3010 Minnehaha Ave., Mpls. (612) 724-6273. <www. theflowershopproject.com>.

Psychotherapy_______
LavenderMagazine.com

57

The Network

> Calendar
Always & Forever. Set in a 1970s urban neighborhood barbershop, the play gives audiences a view of various aspects of love through the eyes and experiences of four African-American men, as they relate their stories through popular R&B songs of the 1960s and 1970s. Includes tunes by the Jackson Five, Percy Sledge, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, Smoky Robinson, and Earth, Wind & Fire. 8 PM. Through Oct. 10. Illusion Theater, 528 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (612) 3394944. <www.illusiontheater.org>. The Dead Sea Scrolls. History buffs: Check out what is believed to be one of the greatest archaeological discoveries of our time. See the collection of 2,000-year-old documents that shed light on a period in religious history. The scrolls, some of the oldest surviving written documents in human history, were discovered in a cave along the northwestern shore of the Dead Sea in 1947. Through Oct. 24. Science Museum of Minnesota, 120 W. Kellogg Blvd., St. Paul. <www.smm.org>. Evita. First Lady of Argentina Eva Perón was a legend in her time. An illegitimate country girl, she rose to become the most powerful woman Latin America had seen—a potent symbol of hope and change. Theater Latté Da takes a fresh look at this provocative telling of her brief and fascinating life. Through Nov. 14. Ordway Center, McKnight Theatre. 345 Washington St., St. Paul. (651) 224-4222. <www.ordway.org>.

Real Estate_________

ECLIPSED. Photo by Tony Nelson

ECLIPSED. Frank Theatre presents Danai Gurira’s award-winning play, which centers on the lives of five women who are thrown together by the recent civil war in Liberia. Salvaged as chattel from wartime looting, these “wives” of the commanding officer form a hardscrabble sisterhood, and develop their own a hierarchy, as they confront questions of survival in their compound. Through Oct. 10. Playwrights’ Center, Waring Jones Theatre, 2301 E. Franklin Ave., Mpls. (612) 724-3760. <www.franktheatre.org>. Evita. First Lady of Argentina Eva Perón was a legend in her time. An illegitimate country girl, she rose to become the most powerful woman Latin America had seen—a potent symbol of hope and change. Theater Latté Da takes a fresh look at this provocative telling of her brief and fascinating life. Through Oct. 31. Ordway Center, McKnight Theatre. 345 Washington St., St. Paul. (651) 224-4222. <www.ordway.org>. The Glass Menagerie. Amanda, an overbearing single mother, lives on memories of her flower-scented youth, while her children bear the weight of her unrealistic dreams for their futures. But when a gentleman caller offers false hope to the family, their precarious world shatters, with haunting results. Through Oct. 17. Jungle Theater, 2951 Lyndale Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 8227063. <www.jungletheater.com>.

58

October 8-20, 2010

Classifieds
Employment Help Wanted Music
PROFESSIONAL SONGWRITING or VOCAL DEMOS: C-Sharp Productions Demo Studio. FREE 30 minute consultation. Visit Sharpmusic.com or call (763) 545-1969.

Rentals-Residential

Photographers
Rogue Photography has a unique vision and is passionate about her photography. Call Ann for your family portraits, weddings, senior pics, pets, and real estate listings. (612) 308-1488. www.roguephotography.com.

Psychotherapy
IRENE GREENE, MSEd, Psychotherapist: 24 years experience. Individual, Couples Counseling, Mediation. Life changes, relationship, gender, sexuality, parenting, anger, anxiety, depression. Coming Out, Sexual Abuse, DID Groups. Sliding fee. Professional, nonjudgmental, confidential. (612) 874-6442. [email protected]. DENNIS CHRISTIAN, LICSW. (612) 9407033. www.dennischristian.com. KATE HEFFELFINGER, MA, Licensed Psychologist. 18 years experience. Individuals/Couples. No cost initial sessions. Some insurance accepted. Visa/MC. (612) 922-9100. kate_heffelfi[email protected]. Are you in crisis, feeling depressed or struggling with life? Do you need to talk to a mental health professional now? Call Tris Casciaro, MA LPC, 1-866-864-8924. Accepts Visa/MC/AmEx/Discover. OWEN KONECNIK, MA, MSW, LICSW, Psychotherapist: Individual and couples counseling. Confidential, non-judgmental, affirming. Sliding scale fee available. Credit cards accepted. Free phone consultation. Lake & Lyndale location. (612) 558-6094. www. counselorminneapolis.com.

Spa Services
THE SPA by [email protected]. 2736 Hennepin, UPTOWN. 612.986.4929 Catering to the Beauty Rituals for all Men and Women. Handcrafted Natural Facials. Body and Brazilian Waxing and Trimming. Manicures. Pedicures. Massage.

Events
Host a Tea Tasting in your home, at your company, or with your community organization. High quality in-depth tea instruction. Traditional or Meditative Tastings available. Schedule your tastings at BumbleBeeTeas.com.

Therapeutic Massage
STRONG & RELAXING hands, resulting in bodywork at its best! Bruck, MT, DC in South Minneapolis @ (612) 306-6323. FULL BODY DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE. Relax & Unwind from Head to Toe. Private S. Mpls Studio. Music, Candles, Jacuzzi, Full Bath. In/Out Calls. 7 days. 10am - 10pm. (612) 388-8993. Keith. ZENTRAL MASSAGE welcomes the GLBT community to a customized therapeutic massage, facial or body polish with a trained therapist. Music, hot towels and comfortable tables enhance your relaxation journey. (612) 369-8641. FULL BODY MASSAGE. Warm relaxing atmosphere, Minneapolis. Hour Massage $60.00. Shower Available. (612) 219-6743. 7 days a week, 10 am - 10 pm. Therapist: 5’10, 167#, 32 waist. BORING...BORING...BORING !!! Sick of boring, mediocre sessions? This time...get unbelievably pampered and have lots of fun with a hot, talented masseur! These sessions are very unique, extremely erotic, totally uninhibited, and smokin’ hot!!! Call for details (no pressure to hire) - you’re gonna love this! Kevin, (612) 229-0001. R & R STUDIO. A rub above the rest. Offering Therapeutic Massage. SPECIAL: $60/hour or $75/1.5 hour. In/Out by appointment only. Convenient downtown location. Free parking. Ryan, (952) 261-4944. athleticbulldog2004@ yahoo.com. REAL & GOOD - m4m massage by experienced responsive masseur. Many repeat clients. Studio, shower and lots of TLC. Near DT Mpls, noon-10 pm, 7 days. New client discount. Gene: (612) 749-7726. Thanks!

Health/Fitness
Let an expert guide you achieving your fitness goals. Over 1100 hours in anatomy & physiology, 6 years experience in health & fitness. Buy 5 sessions, get a free full body massage. (612) 396-8912. www. massagefitnessmpls.com.

Real Estate

Home Furnishings
COTTAGE HOUSE • An Occasional Market • Next sale: HOME TRADITIONS! • NOVEMBER 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. Wed: 1 - 8pm. Thurs-Fri 10am-7pm, Sat-Sun: 10am - 6pm • 4304 Chicago Ave. S., Minneapolis, MN. www.thecottagehousempls.com. FLAMINGOS DIVINE FINDS • An Occasional Sale • Next sale: Wednesday - Sunday, October 6-10 and November 10-14, 10am 6pm, 3404 Cedar Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 767-4548. www.flamingosdivinefinds.com

House Cleaning
The Maids Home Services gives you the healthiest, most thorough housecleaning, guaranteed! Supervised teams, bonded, insured, environmentally safe cleaning products are why Nobody Outcleans The Maids. Free estimates (952) 929-6243. www. maids.com. ECO-GREEN RESIDENTIAL CLEANING SERVICE. $40 discount for first time customers. GREEN DARLENE. Professional staff-bonded and insured. Budget friendly to bring you a sparkling clean. Free estimates. (612) 232-6573. www.greendarlene.com. TERRY LIDDELL, Residential cleaning. Dependable - Honest. Excellent references. Weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, flexible schedules. [email protected]. Call Terry: (612) 834-4887. WOW! WOW! WOW!! OWN FOR LESS THAN RENT - 5 BEDROOMS ABOVE GRADE! Beautifully kept, totally updated, conventional floorplan family home of more than 40 years - Now for sale. $175k. Enter MLS# 3962492 at CBBurnet.com or call Brett @ (763) 227-8614.

Home Services
La Prep Wallpaper Stripping and Painting, Inc. Women owned and operated www.laprep.com. (952) 943-2419, laprepmn@yahoo. com. KENT STEARNS FINISHES: Painting, Wallcovering and Faux Finishes. 35 years of experience hasn’t changed; Preparation, still the key to a successful project. (612) 7018932, [email protected].

59

LavenderMagazine.com

Community Connection
Community Connection brings visibility to local GLBT-friendly non-profit organizations. To reserve your listing in Community Connection, call 612-436-4698 or email advertising@ lavendermagazine.com.

Co-op Living.
Old Town in Town Co-op. 1 to 3 bdrms from $650-$1,225. www. oldtownintown.org (612) 209-2045 Ask about Move In Specials!

Education
Hazelden Providing comprehensive treatment, recovery solutions. Helping people reclaim their lives from the disease of addiction. P.O. Box 11 15251 Pleasant Valley Rd Center City, MN (800) 257-7800 www.hazelden.org

Addiction & Treatment

Art Institutes International Minnesota Helping prepare students for careers in the visual and practical arts. 15 South 9th Street Minneapolis, MN (612) 332-3361 www.artinstitutes.edu/minneapolis

Quatrefoil Library Your GLBT Library with stacks of DVDs, books, and magazines. Check out our online catalogue. 1619 Dayton Ave., No. 105 St. Paul, MN (651) 641-0969 www.qlibrary.org The Loft Literary Center Where writers learn from other writers. Visit www.loft.org for classes, events, conferences, and more. 1011 Washington Ave S. Suite 200 Open Book Minneapolis, MN (612) 215-2575 www.loft.org [email protected]

Library

History Theatre Plays and musicals that illuminate the broad American experience, celebrating local legends, rock icons, and everyday people. 30 East 10th Street St. Paul, MN (651) 292-4323 www.HistoryTheatre.com Illusion Theater Nationally Renowned For Developing Artists and New Work While Sparking Conversation About Challenging Human Issues. 528 Hennepin Ave., #704 Minneapolis, MN (612) 339-4944 www.illusiontheater.org Jungle Theater Professional theater producing contemporary and classic works in an intimate setting in the Lynlake neighborhood. 2951 Lyndale Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN (612) 822-7063 www.JungleTheater.com Minneapolis Musical Theatre “Giving Voice to the Human Experience” New and Rarely-Seen Musicals. 8520 W. 29th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 605-3298 www.aboutmmt.org Minnesota Orchestra Led by Music Director Osmo Vänskä, the Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s leading symphony orchestras. 1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN (612) 371-5656 (800) 292-4141 www.minnesotaorchestra.org Northrop Presenting world-class entertainment in the heart of the Twin Cities. 84 Church St. SE Minneapolis, MN Business Office: (612) 625-6600 Ticket Office: (612) 624-2345 northrop.umn.edu One Voice Mixed Chorus Passionate about building community and creating social change by raising our voices in song. 732 Holly Ave. Ste. Q Saint Paul, MN (651) 298-1954 www.ovmc.org [email protected] Ordway Center for the Performing Arts Hosting, presenting, and creating performing arts and educational programs that enrich diverse audiences. 345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN (651) 224-4222 www.ordway.org Park Square Theatre Creating entertainment that matters; transporting you to unique worlds through exceptional talent and masterful stories. 20 West Seventh Pl. Saint Paul, MN (651) 291-7005 www.parksquaretheatre.org The Minnesota Opera America’s most exciting opera company tickets start at just $20. 620 N. 1st St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 342-9550 www.mnopera.org

Literacy

AIDS/HIV & Treatment

Events
Minneapolis Bike Tour Annual bike ride in September supporting Minneapolis Parks. Fully supported route, refreshments and music in finish area. 2117 West River Rd. Minneapolis, MN (612) 230-6400 www.minneapolisbiketour.com [email protected] Red Ribbon Ride Four-day Bike Ride in July Benefiting Eight HIV/AIDS Service Organizations in Minnesota. 4457 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN (612) 822-2110 www.redribbonride.org

Aliveness Project, The Community Center for Individuals Living with HIV/AIDS -- On-site Meals, Food Shelf and Supportive Services. 730 East 38th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org HIM Program One of the Red Door Services of the Hennepin County Public Health Clinic. 525 Portland Ave. 4th Floor Minneapolis, MN (612) 348-9100 www.himprogram.org www.StopSyphilisNOW.org www.CrystalClearMN.org www.inSPOT.org/Minnesota

Media & Communications
Minnesota Public Radio Providing in depth news coverage, classical music and emerging artists on our three regional services. (651) 290-1212 www.mpr.org

MAP AIDSline MAP AIDSLine is the confidential statewide toll-free HIV information and referral service. 1400 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 373-AIDS (metro) or (800) 248-AIDS (statewide) [email protected] www.mnaidsproject.org Park House Day Health / Mental Health Treatment Program for Adults Living with HIV/AIDS. 710 E. 24th Street, Suite 303 Minneapolis, MN (612) 871-1264 www.allina.com/ahs/anw.nsf/page/ park_house_home U of MN Research Studies Looking for HIV+ and HIV- individuals to participate in research studies. 420 Delaware Street SE Minneapolis, MN (612) 625-7472

Radio K 770 Radio K is the award-winning student-run radio station of the University of Minnesota 330 21st Ave. S. 610 Rarig Center University of Minnesota Minneapolis, MN (612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org Walker Art Center Internationally recognized as a leading venue for the presentation of the art of our time. 1750 Hennepin Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 375-7600 www.walkerart.org Ballet of the Dolls Resident Company of Newly Renovated Ritz Theater. Twin Cities first year-round dance-theater program. 35 13th Ave. NE Minneapolis, MN (612) 623-7660 www.ritzdolls.org Flower Shop Project Producing new and local works of theatre that are smart, ballsy and fundamentally entertaining. At Bryant-Lake Bowl & Patrick’s Cabaret Minneapolis, MN (612) 388-8628 www.theflowershopproject.com Guthrie Theater Come On In! Performances, Classes, Dining, Tours. 818 South 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org Hennepin Theatre Trust Orpheum, State and Pantages Theatres Twin Cities’ best live entertainment: Broadway shows, music concerts, comedy, dance and more! Minneapolis, MN (612) 673-0404 www.HennepinTheatreDistrict.org

Fitness
YWCA of Minneapolis Healthy Me. Healthy Community. Co-ed, full-service health clubs. Locations in Downtown, Midtown and Uptown 2808 Hennepin Avenue South Minneapolis, MN (612) 874-7131 www.ywcampls.org

Museum

Performing Arts

Health & Wellness
GLBTCALLITQUITS.COM If you’re ready to quit smoking, we’re here to support you. (866) 434-9736 Rainbow Health Initiative Working to improve the health of LGBTQ Minnesotans through education, clinical practice, outreach, and advocacy. RHI is the lead agency for the MN Tobacco-free Lavender Communities. 611-A West Lake Street Minneapolis, MN (877) 499-7744 www.rainbowhealth.org www.mntlc.org Sexual Health Empowerment (S.H.E.) Clinic Uninsured? Underinsured? Sexual health services for female-bodied, queeridentified individuals provided on a sliding fee scale. 33 South 5th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 332-2311 www.midwesthealthcenter.org

Art Galleries

Minneapolis Institute of Arts Enjoy Masterpieces From All Over The World And Every Period Of Human History. Free Admission Daily! 2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN (612) 870-3000 www.artsmia.org

Zeitgeist Arts Cafe Duluth’s newest dining experience offering contemporary American dining and full bar in an art-filled setting. 222 E. Superior St. Duluth, MN (218) 722-9100 www.zeitgeistartscafe.com

60

October 8-20, 2010

Backtalk > Dateland

[ by Jennifer Parello ]

Anatomy of a Bad Idea Part III
In Parts I and II of this episode, my girlfriend decided to invite her ex, her ex’s new girlfriend, and all their children to my cottage for the weekend. But my contractor failed to show up, and an epic construction-stress-related battle ensued. My girlfriend stormed out; we broke up; my contractor showed me a naked picture of his girlfriend to make me feel better; my girlfriend returned; and we made up.
The best thing about having a big fight is that you get to have makeup sex. But we couldn’t, because my dimwitted contractor and his son, Dimwit Jr., were not yet done with their tasks. When we finally got them out of the house, we jumped into bed, hoping to get a bit of heavy petting in before her ex-girlfriend arrived. But, just as the nibbling began, we heard a knock at the door. And there they were: the ex, her new girlfriend, the three kids, and a cooler full of light beer. I’m lucky that my girlfriend had the good sense to choose fine, upstanding exgirlfriend. Unlike my exes, who often can be found lurking behind bushes, and forgetting to take their meds, her ex is not only mature and fun, but also not harboring a secret, burning desire to get back together with my girlfriend. Before I met the ex, I didn’t like her very much. After all, I only had heard my girlfriend’s version of their relationship. AcTROLIN, UN DIABLITO ROSA

cording to her, the ex was controlling, domineering, and far too interested in sports. Then, I met her, and I love her! And she loves me! This drives my girlfriend crazy, especially when I take the ex’s side in an argument. They argue a lot, because they have a kid together. As we walked to the door to greet them, my girlfriend whispered menacingly, “Don’t say anything about anything,” which meant she did not want me to commiserate with her ex. Inevitably, when we get together, her ex merrily criticizes my girlfriend. I giggle and nod appreciatively. My girlfriend does not like this one bit. This may explain why my girlfriend was so interested in meeting her ex’s new girlfriend. She was hoping to find some support in her gripes against her ex. After all, who’s more qualified to find fault with your ex than her current girlfriend? It didn’t quite work out that way. Apparently, the new girlfriend isn’t as quick to

switch allegiances as I am. As I flitted about, pouring drinks, and trying desperately to keep the conversation alive, the ex’s new girlfriend concentrated on avoiding eye contact, and crafting oneword responses to any polite question offered by my girlfriend. Finally, my poor little defeated girlfriend retreated to the kitchen to make an incredibly work-intensive guacamole that ensured she wouldn’t have to make chitchat for the next hour. I discovered her pounding the hell out of a helpless avocado, and muttering to herself. We were still a bit fragile from our big fight, and we hadn’t yet managed to have makeup sex, so I extended an olive branch. “Can you believe that she brought her own cooler of beer?” I said with a laugh. “Did she think I wouldn’t have anything to serve her?” For the first time that day, my girlfriend brightened, and said, “And did you notice how my ex is already telling her how to cut her hair, and she made her buy those stupid shoes?” “Yeah, they suck, and we’re great. Now, let’s go back out there, and make them uncomfortable,” I said. And with that, a new team was formed— she and I against the world, armed only with guacamole and the promise of awesome makeup sex in the near future.
por RODRO

Gay parrots.

They move so fast! The one on top soon finds itself at the bottom.

Life changes!

Careful! This cartoon is getting philosophical.

61

LavenderMagazine.com

Community Connection
Performing Arts
Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus An award-winning chorus that builds community through music and offers entertainment worth coming out for! 528 Hennepin Ave., Suite 307 Minneapolis, MN (612) 339-SONG (7664) [email protected] www.tcgmc.org University of Minnesota Theatre Arts and Dance Educating artists and audiences through a diverse mix of performances on both land and water. U of M Theatre 330 21st Ave S, Minneapolis, MN (612) 624-2345 www.theatre.umn.edu Edina Community Lutheran Church Upbeat, growing congregation committed to inclusion, justice, peace, community and proclaiming God’s YES to all. 4113 W. 54th St. Edina, MN (952) 926-3808 www.eclc.org Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church Take a Spiritual Journey With Hennepin’s Faith Community Through Worship, Education, Fellowship, Service, and More. 511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 871-5303 www.haumc.org Mayflower Community Congregational United Church of Christ An open and affirming, peace with justice church welcomes you. 106 E. Diamond Lake Rd. (I-35 & Diamond Lake Rd.) Minneapolis, MN (612) 824-0761 www.mayflowermpls.org Mount Olive Lutheran Church Ours is a welcoming parish, rich in music, liturgy and opportunities to serve the community. 3045 Chicago Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 827-5919 www.mountolivechurch.org Plymouth Congregational Church, Minneapolis A Beacon of Liberal Theology. Progressive Christianity, Traditional Setting & Service, Social Action, The Arts & Music. 1900 Nicollet Ave. at Franklin Minneapolis, MN (612) 871-7400 www.plymouth.org Spirit of Hope An Independent Catholic community. At our table, all are welcome. Mass at 5 PM Saturday evening. Fr. Marty Shanahan. Worship at: St. Anne’s Episcopal Church 2035 Charlton Rd Sunfish Lake, MN www.spiritofhopecatholiccommunity.org St. Luke Presbyterian Church We’re a joyful, compassionate community on a spiritual journey, seeking justice and peace. Join us. 3121 Groveland School Rd. Wayzata, MN (952) 473-7378 www.stlukeweb.org St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral Wherever you are on your faith journey... St. Mark’s Welcomes You. 519 Oak Grove St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 870-7800 www.ourcathedral.org St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran Church with Wingspan Ministry + PASTORAL CARE + EDUCATION + WITNESS + ADVOCACY + Outreach of St. Paul-Reformation Church to the GLBTQA Community. 100 N. Oxford St. St. Paul, MN (651) 224-3371 www.stpaulref.org University Lutheran Church of Hope Reconciling Congregation - All Are Welcome. Social Justice Opportunities. Strong University Links - Questioning Encouraged. Great Music. 601 13th Ave. SE Minneapolis, MN (612) 331-5988 www.ulch.org Westminster Presbyterian Church A Covenant Network Congregation, Working Toward a Church as Generous and Just as God’s Grace. Nicollet Mall at 12th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 332-3421 www.ewestminster.org

Sports & Recreation

Twin Cities Goodtime Softball League (TCGSL) Join 500 GLBT softball players as we celebrate 32 years of gay softball in Minnesota. PO Box 580264 Minneapolis, MN www.tcgsl.org Door County Visitor Bureau www.doorcounty.com

Travel

Retirement

Pets/Pet Services
Animal Humane Society Adoption, rescue, outreach, training, boarding. Buffalo, Coon Rapids, Golden Valley, St. Paul and Woodbury. (763) 432-4527 www.animalhumanesociety.org Wildcat Sanctuary A non-profit accredited sanctuary for over 100 abandoned and abused bobcats, tigers, leopards and more. Sandstone, MN (320) 245-6871 www.wildcatsanctuary.org

The Kenwood Retirement Community Our full service retirement community provides Independent, Assisted Living and Short Term apartment rentals. 825 Summit Avenue, Minneapolis, MN (612) 374-8100 www.thekenwood.net

Grand Marais Area Tourism Association Visit the North Shore's only harbor village - art, dining, shopping, outdoor activities, the perfect escape. P.O Box 1048 13 North Broadway Ave Grand Marais, MN (888) 922-5000 (218) 387-2524 www.grandmarais.com Palm Springs Bureau of Tourism America's Gay Oasis is Beautiful Palm Springs. www.palm-springs.org Visit Minneapolis North Convention & Visitors Bureau We take pride in helping individuals find the ideal location for events & celebrations. 6200 Shingle Creek Parkway, Suite 248, Minneapolis, MN (763) 566-7722 / (800) 541-4364 www.visitminneapolisnorth.com Winneshiek County Convention & Visitors Bureau / Discover Decorah Refresh, rejuvenate, rekindle....whatever R&R you’re up for, the Decorah area is the ultimate heaven 507 West Water Street Decorah, IA 52101 (800) 463-4692 www.visitdecorah.com Minnesota Zoo Open year-round. More than 2,400 animals to explore. Numerous special events. 13000 Zoo Blvd. Apple Valley MN (952) 431-9200 www.mnzoo.org

Family Tree Clinic LGBTQ Health Matters at Family Tree! Offering respectful, affordable sexual health service to meet your needs. 1619 Dayton Avenue St. Paul, MN (651) 645-0478 www.familytreeclinic.org Man2Man Interactive events where guys talk to one another about being gay/bi, dating, sex, life! Metro (612) 626-7937 1-800-552-8636 www.M2M.mn

Sexual Health

Politics & Rights
Human Rights Campaign Advocates for all GLBT Americans, mobilizes grassroots action, invests strategically to elect fair-minded individuals. P.O. Box 50608 Minneapolis, MN www.twincities.hrc.org www.hrc.org Marry Me Minnesota Founded by same-sex couples suing the State for marriage equality. We welcome your support. P. O. Box 22256 Robbinsdale, MN (763) 219-1206 www.marrymeminnesota.org Minnesota Log Cabin Republicans Inclusion Wins. 115 Hennepin Ave. Minneapolis, MN www.mnlogcabin.org

Social Organizations
Imperial Court of Minnesota P.O. Box 582417 Minneapolis, MN www.impcourtmn.com

Pride
Twin Cities Pride The third-largest national Pride celebration seeks sponsors, volunteers, and board members. Contact us today. 2021 East Hennepin Ave, Ste. 460 Minneapolis, MN (612) 305-6900 www.tcpride.org
October 8-20, 2010

Community Shares of Minnesota Community Shares of Minnesota raises funds and awareness for local organizations fighting for justice and equality. 1619 Dayton Avenue, Suite 323 St.Paul, MN (651) 647-0440 changeisbetter.org

Social Justice

Zoos

Religious & Spiritual
Central Lutheran Church We welcome all people to discover, celebrate and share the love of Christ. 333 Twelfth St. S. Minneapolis, MN (612) 870-4416 www.centralmpls.org

62

Backtalk > Consider the Source

[ by Julie Dafydd ]

Sock Puppet Campaign
As politicians are pulling out all the stops, and spending more money on campaigns than ever, I am wrestling with a number of questions: • Which strategy garners the most votes? • Which issues stir Americans to the polls? • And, should a candidate be allowed to use a sock puppet? If that last question hadn’t occurred to you, then you clearly weren’t paying close attention to one of yesterday’s most-hotlycontested races. I am, of course, referring to my 9-year-old nephew’s second in a series of ill-fated attempts to be elected treasurer of his elementary school. Although he received only 11 votes, the poor kid actually did amazingly well from a historical perspective. Last year, his vote total was in the single digits. Specifically, three. The breakdown was as follows: one vote for himself; one vote from his best friend, Chris; and one vote from Lucy, a little girl who is largely unaware of my nephew’s existence, but who has a high degree of respect for or a major crush on Chris. As is often the case in politics, hopes were high at the beginning of the campaign season (last Monday), which comes exactly five days before the end of the campaign season (last Friday). In fact, early indications were that my nephew had already secured at least four votes. (Although the support of Justin, who is frequently described as “a big liar,” was highly questionable.) Midway through the campaign, which would be Wednesday, things started to fall apart. First, Michelle, who sits behind my nephew in class, intimated that his approval ratings were, perhaps, slipping slightly. I believe her exact words were, “No one’s going to vote for you.” In political circles, this time-honored tactic is commonly referred to as “saying stuff that will make the candidate cry right before recess.” The next setback had to do with campaign posters. In elementary-school elections, posters serve much the same purpose as paid political advertisements do in state and national elections. Of course, the kids don’t have access to professional campaign strategists so, quite often, their posters actually make sense. Each candidate is allowed to make two posters. Generally, this involves a fourstep process: • Step 1: Child spends many hours creating posters. • Step 2: Child ties posters to schoolyard fence. • Step 3: Child instantly becomes familiar with the phrase “wind chill factor.” • Step 4: Child watches posters blow in the general direction of town. So, by Friday, the last day of formal campaigning, my nephew was posterless, and filled with the confidence that comes from knowing, based on all reasonable standards of measurement, you are 100 percent unelectable. Fortunately for my nephew, this is the ideal frame of mind if one is going to top off his campaign with a memorable speech highlighted by, among other things, accidentally spitting out your retainer. On the first day of campaigning, each candidate is required to give a one-minute presentation. In my nephew’s case, this was precisely the amount of time he needed to stand before the entire student population to: mumble his name, stare intently at his shoelaces for approximately 45 seconds, form one complete unintelligible sentence, and spew dental hardware onto the podium. On the bright side, it wouldn’t have made any difference even if the kid had embraced a totally different speechmaking strategy, such as opting to use one or more words from the English language. That’s because—and seasoned politicians will tell you that next to losing the ability to outright lie, this is the biggest fear—my nephew was followed by a candidate with a sock puppet. The minute this youngster took to the stage, and introduced his puppet, “The Bieber,” the election was clearly over. “The Bieber” swished his muppet hairs. “The Bieber” sang songs. “The Bieber” said absolutely nothing about why the child whose hand was stuffed inside him might possibly be qualified to serve as school treasurer. “The Bieber” has a very promising political future. Tsk. Like auntie, like nephew, I guess. I once lost an election to a drag queen channeling Patti LuPone in Sunset Boulevard. Well, consider the source here. It’s all politics. Bye for now. Kiss, kiss.

63

LavenderMagazine.com

Ms. Behavior© |

[ by Meryl Cohn ]

Stella Drama
Dear Ms. Behavior:
OK, so, say you’ve had this longstanding thing for a woman involved in a long-term relationship. And, say it has been this frustrating mutual attraction that causes both of you to spend lots of time together, and then completely avoid each other for months at a time. Then, say the married woman moves to another city, so you’re depressed, but relieved. But the relief doesn’t last very long, because now, her relationship is falling apart. She’s hanging around again, and it’s all extremely tempting. But you know it ultimately will be exceedingly bad. What would you do? —Stella Drama do. You are clearly a loaded gun just waiting to go off. You should find another outlet for your swollen dramatic desires before you blow your own life to smithereens. (See? Ms. Behavior can be just as dramatic as the next person, and just as capable of mixing her metaphors.) According to Ms. Behavior’s calculations, getting reinvolved with the married woman will cause pain for at least 11 people. Why 11, you say? Ms. Behavior is excited by the opportunity to use her math skills: We have you; the married woman; her partner; the three therapists who will have to hear about it for the next year-and-a-half; the married woman’s two best friends; her partner’s friend (let’s hope you’ll feel too much shame to “share” it yourself); plus a couple of random people who only were trying to shop for groceries. Love triangles are what classical theater and daytime melodramas are made of—great to watch from the safety of the amphitheater (or your sofa), but torture to experience. Repeat after Ms. Behavior: Secret love triangles always hurt. Can’t you just read your middle-school diary to remember why this particular type of drama is ugly? Sometimes, renting bad movies can fulfill one’s desire for turmoil. However, it sounds like you already have stepped off the cliff. Because you’re saying that you know this situation will be “exceedingly bad,” and because you’ve gone to the trouble of writing to an advice columnist, perhaps you still will make the choice to keep your tongue in

Dear Stella Drama:
Never mind what Ms. Behavior would

64

October 8-20, 2010

your own mouth. But it seems unlikely, doesn’t it?

Dear Ms. Behavior:
My boyfriend, Ray, and I are planning to visit my conservative parents in Nebraska. This will be the first time they’ll meet him—or any of my boyfriends—and I’m pretty nervous about it. The problem is that Ray recently got his chin and his tongue pierced, and he insists on keeping the studs in at all times. I know my parents have come a long way in accepting me, but the facial piercings will make them faint. All my old boyfriends were bankers, but Ray is a guitarist in a rock band. He says that if he takes his piercings out for even the five days we’ll be in Nebraska, the holes will close up. He’s not willing to get them repierced, because it was too painful the first time. I think Ray’s being selfish, and he should just forget about the piercings. He doesn’t realize what a big deal this is for me. He thinks I’m being ridiculous. What do you think? —Ed

Dear Ed:
Hello? Is it 1992 again? The world is full of nice, clean-cut bankers who wear suits, and never would consider punching holes through their face. But if you wanted a banker, you’d be with another one, wouldn’t you? If Ray is the man you love, let him be a rock star with a pierced face. Allow him to speak with that sexy lisp that reveals the hunk of metal pinning the flesh of his tongue. When you introduce him to your parents, be proud of who he is, what he does, and even his syllabant “s.” Or, “eth,” ath the cathe may be. [sic] If you chicken out, you always could warn your parents about his piercings in advance. If you go in that direction, it would be best to exaggerate about Ray’s appearance. Tell your parents he has a pierced face, a shaved head with a skull tattoo, and three gold teeth. Once they meet him, and find out that all he really has are a couple of dainty holes in his face and tongue, they probably will be delighted.
© 2010 Meryl Cohn. Address questions and correspondence to <[email protected]>. She is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifflin). Signed copies are available directly from the author.

65

LavenderMagazine.com

Yellow Pages > Advertiser Index
Adult Hardline Gay Chat...... 65 Megaphone ................. 64 Apparel & Accessories NorcostcoNorthwestern Costume ........................ 5 Arts & Entertainment
Art Institutes International Minnesota .................... 31 Hennepin Theatre Trust .............................. 30, 27 Minneapolis Musical Theatre ......................... 31 Theater Latté Da ........... 33 Radio K 770 ............... 11 The A List....................... 68

Home Services
A-Z Electric .................. 56 Bluestem Construction . 56 Good Stuff Moving ..... 56 Granite Transformations ............ 21 Hi-Tech Installations ..... 56 Matt’s Tree Service ...... 56 Mr. Handyman ............ 55 Personal Pride Construction ................. 56 Ryan’s Tree Care ......... 56 Soderlin Plumbing, Heating & Air Conditioning................. 55 SOS Homecare ........... 55 The Tile Shop................ 23 Vujovich ........................ 25

Employment
Pride Talent Acquisition .................... 5

Cat Nap Inn ................. 57 Larpenteur Animal Hospital ........................ 30 Nokomis Pet Clinic ...... 57

Real Estate & Rentals
Farinella, Marilyn ........ 58 gayrealestate.com ....... 57 Haubrich Homes.......... 58 Leviton, Ann .................. 57 Minneapolis Grand Apartments ................... 21 McGee, Michael ......... 24 Ruzick, Amy & Johnson, Kay ................ 6 Village Green............... 24

Events
Lavender First Thursdays...................... 29 Lavender’s THIRSTdays .................. 41 Lavender Salute ........... 41 Park Tavern Bowling & Entertainment Center ........................... 45

Financial
Harbor Group ...............29, 55 Hamilton Clark Group 55 Moltaji, Roya ................ 11 Palm, Karen .................. 7 ROR Tax Professionals 55 US Bank........................ 2, 21

Religious
Mayflower Community Congregational United Church of Christ ........... 15 Plymouth Congregational Church .......................... 15 Westminster Presbyterian Church .......................... 15

Automotive Hagen’s Auto Body ..... 55 LaMettry’s Collision ..... 6 Morrie’s Subaru........... 25 Bars & Nightlife
Bar Advertiser Guide .. 36 19 Bar ........................... 40 Brass Rail ...................... 38 Coale’s ......................... 38 Gay 90’s ..................... 37 Gladius ......................... 39 Rumours/Innuendo ...... 40 Tickles ........................... 39 Town House ................. 39

Insurance
American Family Insurance ...................... 23 Baldwin, Davina .......... 56 Wagner InsuranceFinancial Services ........ 57 Wolfson, Steve ............. 56

Funeral Services
Johnson Hannah, Barbara ....................... 55

Restaurants
Burger Moe’s ............... 45 Christos ......................... 47 Duplex Restaurant and Wine Bar .............. 48 French Meadow Bakery & Café ............. 48 Honey ........................... 45 Jakeeno’s Pizza & Pasta ............................. 47 KinDee Thai Restaurant..................... 48 Roat Osha .................... 47 Toast Wine Bar & Café .............................. 48 Uptown Diner, Woodbury Café, Louisiana Café, Grandview Grill ........... 47

Gifts Fantasy Gifts ................ 9 Grocery Stores Wedge Co-op .............. 48 Health, Wellness & Recovery Burns, Steve .................. 57 Carrillo, Dr. Thomas P.. 57 Chase, Lisa ................... 57 Fleet Naturals............... 8, 9 HIM Program ............... 54 Homecare Assist .......... 7 Laser Body Sculpture... 9 Pride Institute ................ 55 Rainbow Health Initiative ........................ 35 Running Tiger Shaolin Kenpo ........................... 55 Shaklee ......................... 55 University of Minnesota, Infectious Diseases ...... 3 Uptown Dermatology & SkinSpa ..................... 57

Jewelry Max’s ............................ 54 Legal
Albertson, Martha ....... 7 Cloutier & Brandl ......... 29 Davis Law Office ......... 15 Dean, Jeff ..................... 5 Family Solutions Law Group ........................... 23 Heltzer & Burg ............. 33 Hoffner Law Firm ......... 11 Moshier, Becky ............ 7 Terry & Slane ............... 8

Beauty & Relaxation Anew Aesthetic Medical Center ............ 7 Barbers on Bryant........ 55 Beverages
Budweiser ..................... 67 Haskell’s ....................... 45 Surdyk’s ........................ 48

Catering
Mintahoe Catering & Event ............................. 29
October 8-20, 2010

Mortgage Lozinski, David ............. 6 Grunewald, Mark ........ 24 Organizations
Community Shares of Minnesota .................... 5

Travel & Accommodations aloft Minneapolis ........ 6

Communications
89.3 The Current ......... 25 AM950, The Voice of Minnesota ................ 7

Pet Products & Services
Animal Humane Society .......................... 11

66

Dining Guide Listing |
AVERAGE PRICE OF A TYPICAL ENTREE $ LESS THAN $15, $$ $15-$25, $$$ MORE THAN $25

Our Guide to the Metro Eateries Featured in This Issue Lavender Magazine’s Dining Guide is your resource to GLBTfriendly restaurants. We recommend calling restaurants before visiting to confirm information. Lavender’s cuisine section and updated dining guide appears each issue. Please direct questions about the directory and cuisine advertising to [email protected].
Kindee Thai. Photos by Hubert Bonnet

BURGER MOE’S $ American fare Relaxed atmosphere, gorgeous outdoor patio, fabulous food, sixty beers. Lunch, Dinner 242 W. 7th St., St. Paul, MN (651) 222-3100 www.burgermoes.com CHRISTO’S $ Greek Serving classic Greek fare for over 13 years, we specialize in dishes from the island of Cyprus, offering food from the traditional to the contemporary. Lunch, Dinner 2632 Nicollet Ave., Mpls (612) 871-2111 • 15600 Hwy 7, Minnetonka, (952) 912-1000 • 214 4th St. E., St. Paul Union Depot, (651) 224-6000 www.christos.com DUPLEX $ French, Italian, American Unique entrees, moderately priced, cozy space with up-beat staff. Brunch, Lunch, Dinner 2516 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis (612) 381-0700 www.duplexmpls.com FRENCH MEADOW BAKERY $ Certified Organic Bakery Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner 2610 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis (612) 870-4740 Sun – Thurs: 6:30 AM – 9 PM • Fri – Sat: 6:30 AM – 11 PM www.frenchmeadow.com GINGER HOP $$ Asian Fusion Specializing in pan-Asian classic dishes. As we like to say, “East meets Northeast”. Lunch, Dinner 201 E. Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis (612) 746-0304 www.gingerhop.com

THE GRANDVIEW GRILL $ American Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches. Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch 1818 Grand Ave., St. Paul (651) 698-2346 Mon – Fri: 6:15 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:15 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM HONEY $$ Small Plates Fine cocktails, wine, small plates and artisan chocolates in an intimate setting. 205 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis (612) 746-0306 www.honeympls.com JAKEENO’S PIZZA & PASTA $ Italian Traditional red sauce pastas, thin crust pizza & homemade sauces. Lunch, Dinner 3555 Chicago Ave. S. Minneapolis (612) 825-6827 Mon – Fri: 11 AM – 11 PM • Sat – Sun: 4 PM – 11 PM Midtown Global Market, 920 E. Lake St., Minneapolis (612) 767-1102 Mon – Sat: 10 AM – 8 PM • Sun: 10 AM – 6 PM www.jakeenos.com KINDEE THAI $ Thai This isn’t your traditional everyday Thai restaurant. Lunch, Dinner 719 S. 2nd St., Minneapolis (612) 465-8303 Mon: Closed • Tues – Thurs: 11:30 AM – 9 PM • Fri: 11:30 AM – 10:30 PM • Sat: 11 AM – 10:30 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 9 PM www.kindeethairestaurant.com THE LOUISIANA CAFÉ $ American Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches. Breakfast, Brunch, 613 Selby Ave., St. Paul (651) 221-9140 Mon – Fri: 6:30 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:30 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM

69

lavendermagazine.com

Roat Osha

The Grandview Grill.

New Uptown Diner.

NEW UPTOWN DINER $ American Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches. Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch 2548 Hennepin Ave. S. Minneapolis (612) 874-0481 Mon – Wed: 6 AM – 3 PM • Thurs – Sat: 24 Hours • Sun: Close at 6 PM ROAT OSHA $$ Thai Uniquely crafted authentic and American influences. Decor that invites conversation Lunch, Dinner 2650 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis Sat: 11 AM – 11 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 10:30 PM www.roatoshathai.com TOAST WINE BAR AND CAFÉ $ Wine bar with Italian influence Neighborhood wine bar serving pizzas, cured meats and small plates. Dinner 415 N. 1st St., Minneapolis, MN (612) 333-4305 Tues – Thurs: 5 PM – 11 PM • Fri – Sat: 5 PM – 12 AM • Sun: 5 PM – 11 PM www.toastwinebarandcafe.com THE WOODBURY CAFÉ $ American Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches. Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch Bielenberg & Tamarack, Woodbury, MN (651) 209-8182 Mon – Fri: 7 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 7 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM
October 8–20, 2010

70