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FEATURES / COVER STORIES
0 4.14
Hit the Road
Jacked
If truck drivers can muscle up on
the road, what’s your excuse?
BY JOE KITA PAGE 124
47
New 300 Workout
Chisel warrior abs!
BY ADAM CAMPBELL
52
5 Things to Say to
a Naked Woman
So she stays that way.
108
Strength Secrets
From a new top gym.
BY MICHAEL EASTER
132
Have a Cow!
Cook insanely great
grass-fed beef. Plus:
Win steak for a year!
BY PAUL KITA
140
Why She Wants
You to Watch
Indulge her desire for
exhibitionism.
BY ANNA DAVIES
146
Bad Habits That
Pay Off
Laughing all the
way to the bank: a
slacker’s guide.
BY RICHARD CONNIFF
152
Beat Your #1
Health Threat
Hint: It’s hiding
in your bedroom.
BY T.E. HOLT, M.D.

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Sullivan Stapleton, photographed by
Jeff Lipsky. Styling by Sandra Nygaard,
grooming by Carola Gonzalez/The
Magnet Agency. Rogue T-shirt, J Brand
jeans. Courtesy of Warner Brothers (inset)
8 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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04.14
74 84 52 78
62
Stage an Upset
If you’re a lower seed,
you have to play smarter.
68
Wear the Pants
Jeans, decoded.
74
Groomed or
Doomed?
Five tricky body mainte-
nance issues—solved!
76
Find Real Success
Don’t let workplace
obstacles stop you.
86
Jimmy the
Bartender
How do I talk my way out
of couples yoga?
98
Work It!
Look professional even
after a hellish commute.
BY BRIAN BOYÉ
Guy
Wisdom
42
Driving and
Sneezing
Are you a traffic accident
waiting to happen?
82
Never Grow Old!
Six weapons to turn
back your body clock.
84
Smooth the Road
Planning a trip?
We have some tips.
115
Before You Blow
. . . read our advice on
keeping calm.
BY LILA BATTIS
Health
28
Splitsville USA
MetroGrades ranks the
divorce capitals.
40
Make Her Sweat
Schedule a “workout”
after her workout.
54
The Girl Next Door
Is food foreplay hot—or
just gross and messy?
64
What Women Are
Thinking
Actress Joy Bryant tells
us some crucial secrets.
106
The Real Reason
She Cheats
It’s not what you think.
BY JASON FEIFER
118
Is This Hurting
Your Sex Life?
How a little pill may kill
desire and attraction.
BY PAUL JOHN SCOTT
Sex
31
Fast Muscle!
For big gains in the gym,
call in a pro.
32
Protect Your
Hamstrings
Avoid the injury that can
sabotage your fitness.
38
Bag Your Workout
Supercharge your rou-
tine with this gym gear.
56
Call Your Muscles
to Attention
Can you handle the
Green Beret gauntlet?
58
Crush Your
Weaknesses
Take our pushup-and-
squat challenge.
Fitness
34
Don’t Let a Sub
Sink Your Diet
Avoid this sandwich
shop fake-out.
44
Milk the Benefits
Pump up your moo juice.
78
Power Your Pasta
Cook this classic from
Mario Batali tonight.
102
The Beer Diet!
Is your drinking keeping
you from a six-pack?
BY BEN COURT
Nutrition
ON THE COVER
Sullivan Stapleton, photographed by
Jeff Lipsky. Styling by Sandra Nygaard,
grooming by Carola Gonzalez/The
Magnet Agency. Rogue T-shirt, J Brand
jeans. Courtesy of Warner Brothers (inset)
10 Your To-Do List
Don’t look like a fool.
14 First Word
It’s all about you.
18 Lifesavers
How a sports doc rolls.
20 Body Science
The protein-to-
muscle process.
22 Ask Men’s Health
What should I add to
my morning cereal?
31 Bulletins
News on health, sex,
food, and fitness.
47 Advantage
Gain your edge!
89 How to Do
Everything Better
Pull the free-beer con!
160 The Average Guy
Think you’re funny?
EVEN MORE
USEFUL STUFF. . .

OUR BEST ENGI NEERED MEN’ S J EAN
7forallmankind.com

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Follow us
on Twitter:
@MensHealth
10 13
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20
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TUE Start today—no fooling—with our new DVD
workout series, MH60, and you’ll have a beach
body by Memorial Day. Give trainer David Jack 30
minutes, three days a week, and in 60 days, nobody
will recognize you (in a good way). mh60dvd.com
MON This year, it’s
Patriots’ Day across the
entire nation. All of us
will be with the Boston
Marathon runners—and
last year’s survivors—
in spirit. Want to partici-
pate, blister-free? It’s
easy: Contribute at
onefundboston.org.
SUN Click over to AMC
to see what year it is on
Mad Men. Don Draper
struggled with the tumult
of 1968; will he now
have to handle 1969
(hippies, Woodstock!)
or the polyester-clad
’70s? One thing’s cer-
tain: He’ll look sharp.
SAT Drop the Easter
candy and grab a bar-
bell. Now lift it—slowly.
You can burn a ton of fat
with a few superslow
reps, as our new block-
buster book, The Body
Fat Breakthrough, will
tell you. Buy it at bodyfat
breakthrough.com/mh.
THU The Masters
begins, with Aussie
Adam Scott using the
long putter that helped
him win last year. He
braces the butt end
against his chest, a
technique that will be
illegal—in 2016. Who
says golf is slow?
FRI Men’s Health guy
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
is targeted for revenge
in The Other Woman.
Not our kind of plot. But
when the title charac-
ters include Cameron
Diaz and Kate Upton
(bikini alert!), go ahead,
drag us to the multiplex.
SUN Coachella wraps
up in the California
desert. Dehydration tip
from Aaron Bright, M.D.,
the festival’s medical
director: Save your
dancing for the cool
evenings. Perfect: Here
comes Arcade Fire to
close the show.
1
21
Your To-Do List
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RJ Mitte, actor. Lives in the washed-down white jacket.
#livedin
Lived In.

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14 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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FIRST
WORD

■ WHEN I MEET A MEN’S HEALTH READER, WHICH IS BASICALLY EVERY DAY, I’M INEVITABLY ASKED THIS
question: “How can I be on the cover?”
My answer, with apologies, has always been the same: “You can’t.” Famous fit guys grace
our covers, because these are men our readers aspire to be like. Still, lately I’ve been won-
dering: Why not a reader? After all, Men’s Health is about one person—you. Every sentence
and every word is there to make our readers better men.
So one day last fall, publisher Ronan Gardiner and I hatched a plan. We’d find the Ulti-
mate Men’s Health Guy and put him on the cover of our November 2014 issue. With support
from our friends at Kenneth Cole, the idea got bigger and better —watch MensHealth.com
and our social feeds in the coming weeks for more details.
The Ultimate Men’s Health Guy will be fit, for sure. He’ll exercise and eat well and perhaps
even have abs to show for his efforts. But a man isn’t measured by abdominal ripples alone.
So he’ll also be driven, confident, and generous. He’ll know how to tell a joke, approach a
potential mate, lead a meeting. He’ll handle the heat anywhere—in the kitchen, at the gym,
under interrogation by his boss, even during a phone call with Mom.
Sound like you? Then go to MensHealth.com/GuySearch to enter. If you’re not quite cover
material yet, no worries. Let this issue guide your transformation:
ƀ See SuIIivan SfaµIefon on fhe coverƄ His abs are sickź And fhey couId be yoursź He used
the workout on page 50 to build warrior muscle for 300: Rise of an Empire.
ƀ The secref fo droµµing űŰ µounds quickIy is on µage űŰŲź And fhereƉs good newsƒyou
can keep the beer and still lose the belly.
ƀ Turn back fhe cIock wifh fhe anfiaging sfrafegies on µage ŸŲŻ and keeµ your reIafionshiµ
young by learning, on page 52, how to defuse conversational bombs. . . in bed.
ƀ Your commufe couId be hoIding you backƒand making you fafź Borrow some sfayƐfif
strategies, starting on page 124, from guys who make their living behind the wheel.
Finally, don’t close this issue before reading about your number one health threat (page 152).
The culprit may surprise you. Learning about it may not make you the Ultimate Men’s Health
Guy, but it could save your life. That’s what’s great about MH readers: Everyone is a winner.
YOU. GIVE US ONE
GOOD REASON
WHY YOU
SHOULD BE A
MEN’S HEALTH
COVER GUY
I weighed only 140
pounds six months ago,
and now I’m 160
pounds with only 4.3
percent body fat.
@ASCHWARTZKOPF,
VIA TWITTER
My journey to work out
365 times in 2014 will
inspire others.
@JACOBEBARRON,
VIA TWITTER
I’m full of brawn, wit,
and charm, which
a worthy candidate
must have.
@MITCHBACH,
VIA TWITTER
I grew up sneaking
into my dad’s bathroom
to read his Men’s
Health while he was
at work. Undoubtedly
shaped my future.
@KANSAS_ROADS,
VIA TWITTER
I strive to be a better
father, husband,
and employee, and
a healthier person,
every day.
@MATTTRUDEAU1,
VIA TWITTER
I set a goal, made
a plan, crushed it.
@KAPLAN86,
VIA TWITTER
I’m kicking stage
IV gastric cancer
to the curb.
@BUMGA_J,
VIA TWITTER
Bill Phillips,
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
@billphillipsMH

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Z
.
STAND UP
TO DEATH
“Sit cross-legged on
the floor. Now try to
stand without using
your hands, the wall, or
any furniture. Research-
ers in Brazil found that
if you’re able to do it,
you’re six times less
likely to die prematurely
than if you can’t. The
better your musculo-
skeletal fitness, the bet-
ter your health. Build
muscle by doing body-
weight circuits.”
LET STRESS
ROLL OFF
“I slow down and take
a vinyasa yoga class
every couple of weeks.
The ability to zone out
for an hour helps me
manage the intensity of
urban living and relieve
stress. Of course, it also
improves my flexibility
and strength. Not a
yoga fan? Buy a foam
roller. It’s a great way
to loosen tight muscles
and may be the best
$30 you ever spend.”
CROWD-FUND
YOUR FITNESS
“I teach a fitness boot-
camp class in New York
City twice a month. The
social element is ener-
gizing and keeps me
motivated. I stoke my
passion by competing
with friends and family;
I’ve done 30 marathons
and 11 Ironmans. Find
activities you enjoy and
can participate in with
a group, because you’ll
be more likely to take
part in them regularly.”
EAT, CHEAT (A
LITTLE), AND WIN
“Because I exercise
every day, I can afford to
have a bacon cheese-
burger, fries, and a milk-
shake every once in a
while. The key is choos-
ing the moments when
you indulge. If your
diet is too prohibitive,
you’re less likely to stick
with it over the long
term. So allow yourself
a weekly treat meal and
enjoy it without regret—
you’ve earned it!”

JORDAN METZL, M.D.
A Sports Doc’s Wellness Tips
Apples are okay, but a workout a day truly keeps the
doctor away. “Exercise is powerful medicine,” says
Jordan Metzl, M.D., a sports medicine physician at the
Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City and
author of The Exercise Cure. “I give all my patients
‘exercise prescriptions’—specific activities that
target problems. The exercises rehabilitate existing
problems and help prevent new ones, and they do it
naturally, without side effects.” And Dr. Metzl walks
the walk: Strength training, cycling, running, swim-
ming, and yoga are all part of his regimen. “It’s not
always about how fast you go or how much you lift;
it’s about finding fun, new ways to move every day.”
18 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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I LLUSTRATI ON BY MI RI AM MI GLI AZZI & MART KLEI N
2- SECOND
LI FESAVERS
1
DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD
Dig up those flash cards from
high school: A study in Neu-
rology reports that speaking
more than one language may
stave off dementia by four
and a half years. The research-
ers speculate that being bilin-
gual boosts cognitive reserve,
your brain’s resistance to age-
related decline and dementia.
2
OUTSMART ANXIETY
Pumping yourself up—rather
than trying to remain calm—
may be the best way to combat
performance anxiety, accord-
ing to new research from Har-
vard. Instead of stressing out
about the prospect of a big
presentation, date, or meeting,
think positively and embrace
your nerves as “energy.”
3
DATE GLOBALLY
Out of sight, but not out of
mind: A study in the Journal of
Sex & Marital Therapy links
long-distance love with greater
relationship satisfaction, possi-
bly because the partners don’t
take each other for granted.
Even if your love is local, foster
intimacy with unexpected ges-
tures, like sending her flowers.
4
BERRY HEART DISEASE
Don’t relegate cranberries
to the holidays. They contain
A-type proanthocyanidins,
an uncommon antioxidant
that may explain the berries’
inflammation-fighting effects,
according to new research in
Advances in Nutrition. Aim for
a serving or two of cranberry
cocktail or dried berries a day.
Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., M.P.H.,
codirector, Indiana University Center
for Sexual Health Promotion
Thomas Joiner, Ph.D., professor of
psychology, Florida State University;
author, The Perversion of Virtue
Jeffrey Blumberg, Ph.D., director,
Antioxidants Research Laboratory
at Tufts University
David S. Liebeskind, M.D., professor
of neurology, University of California
at Los Angeles
BRAIN HEALTH
P. Murali Doraiswamy, M.D.
David S. Liebeskind, M.D.
CARDIOLOGY
John Elefteriades, M.D.
Prediman Krishan
Shah, M.D.
Eric J. Topol, M.D.
DENTISTRY
Mark S. Wolff, D.D.S., Ph.D.
DERMATOLOGY
Adnan Nasir, M.D., Ph.D.
EMERGENCY MEDICINE
Travis Stork, M.D.
EXERCISE SCIENCE
Alexander Koch, Ph.D., C.S.C.S.
Mark Peterson, Ph.D., C.S.C.S.*D
FAMILY MEDICINE
Ted Epperly, M.D.
GASTROENTEROLOGY
Mark Welton, M.D.
INTEGRATIVE MEDICINE
James N. Dillard, M.D., D.C., L.Ac.
MENTAL HEALTH
Thomas Joiner, Ph.D.
William Pollack, Ph.D.
NUTRITION
Alan Aragon, M.S.
Jeffrey Blumberg, Ph.D.,
F.A.C.N., F.A.S.N., C.N.S.
Michael Roussell, Ph.D.
OPHTHALMOLOGY
Kimberly Cockerham, M.D.,
F.A.C.S.
SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS
Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., M.P.H.
SLEEP MEDICINE
W. Christopher Winter, M.D.
SPORTS MEDICINE
Nicholas A. DiNubile, M.D.
Jordan D. Metzl, M.D.
TRAINING
Alwyn Cosgrove, C.S.C.S.*D
BJ Gaddour, C.S.C.S.
Bill Hartman, P.T., C.S.C.S.
David Jack
UROLOGY
Larry I. Lipshultz, M.D.
Judd W. Moul, M.D., F.A.C.S.
WEIGHT LOSS
David Katz, M.D., M.P.H.,
FACPM, F.A.C.P.
Jeff S. Volek, Ph.D., R.D.
OUR
ADVISORY
BOARD

THIS IS THE
SCIENCE OF
SOFT.
Impossibly soft, yet stable. It does exist and
it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.
THIS IS #FRESHFOAM. THIS IS #RUNNOVATION.
©
2
0
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4

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20 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014 I LLUSTRATI ON BY MI KE McQUADE
BODY
SCIENCE
1
/
DIGESTION
Enzymes in your stomach and small intestine break
the protein apart into peptides, combinations of at
least two or three amino acids (a.k.a. your body’s
building blocks). Then other enzymes further dice
the peptides into individual amino acids.
3
/
RESPONSE
Your muscles are essentially bundles of long fibers.
Strength training causes microtears in these
fibers that signal your immune system to send out a
work crew (growth hormone and stem cells) and
repair material (amino acids) to the damaged areas.
2
/
TRANSPORT
The amino acids travel directly from your gastro-
intestinal tract to your liver via the hepatic portal
vein. While the liver’s main job is to detoxify the
blood, it also propels amino acids back into your
bloodstream for delivery to your muscles.
5
/
REPAIR AND GROWTH
The newly made myofibrils fuse with the damaged
areas of your muscle fibers. But microtear repair
is more than just a patch job: These myofibrils also
help make the muscle bigger and stronger than it
was before. Time to flex.
4
/
CONSTRUCTION
Your DNA acts as a construction foreman: It calls up
specific amino acids, directs their deployment, and
assigns their roles. The muscle fiber work crew uses
the fresh supply of amino acids to weave myofibrils;
these are bundles of the protein filaments myosin
and actin, which are critical to muscle contraction.
HowProtein
Becomes
Muscle
You can’t just sprinkle whey powder on
your pecs. Exercise scientists Colin Wilborn,
Ph.D., of the University of Mary Hardin-
Baylor in Texas, and Oliver Witard, Ph.D.,
of the University of Stirling in the U.K., help
us explain how eggs become abs.
BY K. ALEISHA FETTERS

®
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ADD FLAVOR TO YOUR WORKOUT.
IN NEW LIQUID ENHANCER,
NEW SPORT CAP BOTTLE
AND POWDER.
THE
WORKOUT
WATER
0 CALORIES | VITAMINS
FROM THE MAKERS OF
®

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22 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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How can I give
my cereal a
nutrition boost?
KEN, CHICAGO, IL
Start at the bottom of the bowl.
When buying cereal, use the 5:5:10
rule: at least 5 grams of fiber, 5 grams
of protein, and no more than 10
grams of sugar per serving, says Kim
Larson, R.D.N., C.D., C.S.S.D., a Seattle
sports dietitian. We like Health Val-
ley Organic Fiber 7 Flakes, which
comes in at 7:6:10. Add milk, and
match the toppings to your mission.
Healthier Heart
ADD
⅓ cup sliced
almonds (10 g
monounsaturated fat)
1 large apple, any type,
sliced (1.4 g pectin)
Better Brainpower
ADD
¼ cup dark
chocolate pieces
(65 mg flavonoids)
1 cup blackberries
(213 mg flavonoids)
Bigger Muscles
ADD
4 oz plain Greek
yogurt, instead of milk
(12 g protein)
¼ cup unsalted pumpkin
seeds (4 g protein)
Flatter Belly
ADD
1 Tbsp ground chia
seeds (5 g fiber)
1 greener (i.e., less
ripe) banana, sliced
(3 g fiber)
Drop in dark chocolate
for a hit of flavonoids.
These antioxidants can
give you a quick cogni-
tive charge, reports a
study from Australia.
For long-term benefits,
add berries. They con-
tain flavonoids that can
aid memory over time.
Knock yourself out with
nuts. They contain
magnesium and sele-
nium, minerals that may
ward off heart disease.
Then add a sliced apple
for the pectin, a form of
fiber that can reduce
cholesterol, according
to Danish research.
If you have an hour or
more before lifting, add
15 grams of muscle-
building protein to your
bowl, Larson advises.
Pumpkin seeds and
Greek yogurt are packed.
Working out soon? Add
fast-digesting carbs, like
dried cherries, instead.
Focus on fiber. “It fills
you up faster and lon-
ger, so you’re less likely
to be hungry midmorn-
ing,” Larson says. Chia
seeds contain filling
soluble fiber, and green
bananas contain resis-
tant starch, a fiber that
can help you burn fat.

™
T RAI NI NG F OR
MORE T HAN A GAME
MOUNTAI N AT HL E T I CS APPARE L GI VE S YOU UNRI VAL E D
DURABI L I T Y AND RANGE OF MOT I ON WHI L E YOU T RAI N
TO PUSH YOUR L I MI T S I N T HE OUT DOORS
GO STRONG OUTDOORS AT THENORTHFACE. COM/MOUNTAI NATHLETI CS
NE V E R
S T OP
E X P L ORI NG
™

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24 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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H
O
F
F
Percentage of men who don’t always have first-aid sup-
plies in their car or truck. The American Red Cross rec-
ommends keeping a basic emergency kit in your vehicle.
Source: Mintel
My girlfriend says I’m a terrible listener
when she’s upset. How can I improve?
LUKE, CANTON, OH
Don’t shut down when she opens up. Many men
mightseem like bad listeners because they unin-
tentionally clam up during emotionally charged
conversations—the very exchanges that tend to be
most important to their partners, says Sue John-
son, Ed.D., a professor of psychology at the Univer-
sity of Ottawa and the author of Love Sense: The
Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relation-
ships. “It feels bad to see your girlfriend or wife
become emotional, and that fear and anxiety can
block listening,” she says. Another common pit-
fall: In an attempt to make her feel better, you may
subconsciously redirect the talk away from upset-
ting topics, Johnson says. While your intentions
may be good, this comes across as if you’re not lis-
tening or caring (or both). So when your girlfriend
starts venting, take a deep breath and focus on each
word that comes out of her mouth. This will keep
you grounded and ease anxiety. When she’s done
talking, let her know that you’re sorry she’s feeling
[fill in the negative emotion], says Johnson. Then
say something like, “I want to help. I don’t quite
know what to do, but I care and I’ll be here for you.”
What’s the deal with the new guidelines
for managing cholesterol?
DANIEL, SPOKANE, WA
As it turns out, “bad” cholesterol—LDL—is usu-
ally only as bad as the company it keeps. This past
November, the American College of Cardiology
and the American Heart Association announced
that doctors should consider a patient’s over-
all heart disease risk when deciding whether to
prescribe statins. Your LDL cholesterol will still
be part of the equation, but unless it’s a strato-
spheric 190 mg/dl or higher, it will no longer be
the sole deciding factor. That’s because research
shows that LDL rarely acts alone to take its toll on
your ticker—it gangs up with high blood pressure,
aging, high blood sugar, and smoking. As a result,
this also means that if you do start on statins, your
doctor will no longer focus on hitting a target LDL
cholesterol level, such as 100 mg/dl, says John
Keaney, M.D., chief of cardiovascular medicine at
the University of Massachusetts Medical School.
“It will be more like, ‘How are you doing on this
dose of the medicine? Are you tolerating it? Is
there a problem?’” Of course, at the same time
your doc will also work with you to address any
high blood pressure or elevated blood sugar.
Does it make any difference how soon in
the tax year I max out my 401(k)?
NATE, HOUSTON, TX
It can make several thousand differences. Most
employers match once per pay period, so if you
spread your contributions throughout the year,
you may net a lot more in match money from
your company, says Catherine Golladay, vice pres-
ident of participant services at Charles Schwab.
For example, let’s say you’re 35 years old, you earn
$150,000, and your company matches 50 percent
of your 401(k) contributions—up to 6 percent
of your wages—each pay period. If you contrib-
ute 20 percent of each biweekly paycheck, by the
end of July you’ll hit the IRS limit of $17,500 and
your employer will have kicked in $2,625. But if
you lower your savings rate to a little less than
12 percent to spread your contributions over the
year, your employer would contribute $4,500.
One exception: Some 401(k) plans have what’s
called a “true-up” feature, which ensures that
your employer matches the maximum amount
at the end of the year no matter when you max
out. If your plan has a true-up (or no match at
all), max out early to earn more interest and put
your savings to work as soon as possible.
DIRECTIONS
Load one end of a barbell with a 25-pound
plate and place the other end in a land
mine, a corner, or a heavy weight plate.
Assume a staggered stance with your left
foot forward and the loaded end of the bar-
bell in front of you. Grab the end of the bar-
bell with your right hand. Lift your hips and
keep your back straight so the weight is off
the floor. Pull the weight toward your ribs,
keeping your back straight throughout. Do
not allow your lower back to rotate. Do 3
sets of 10 reps. Switch sides and repeat.
How can I build
a strong back?
RICH, SIOUX FALLS, SD
If you want to gain explosive
strength, try land mines.
“The single-arm land mine
row strengthens the muscles
of your upper and middle
back, which stabilizes your
shoulders,” says BJ Gaddour,
C.S.C.S. “That increased
stability helps you lift more
weight more safely in just
about every upper-body
exercise.” Plus, the move
works your core as you fight
to keep your torso from
twisting. At the gym, use a
“land mine” (a device that
resembles home plate with
a metal tube on top) or a
barbell that’s been wedged
into a corner.
What’s better: black or brown rice?
ALEX, NEWHAVEN, CT
Black is the new brown. While both types boast vitamins and minerals,
black rice has anthocyanins, antioxidants that may fend off diabetes and
some cancers, says Zhimin Xu, Ph.D., an associate professor of food science
at Louisiana State University. There’s also what it has less of: arsenic.
Potentially worrisome levels of this toxin have been found in brown rice,
but a USDA study reports that levels are lower in the black variety. If
you’re concerned, rinse your rice and boil it using a 6:1 water-to-rice ratio.
That’s the best way to reduce arsenic, say U.K. researchers.
1
2
I noticed that the label on my dish deter-
gent has the “USDA Certified Biobased
Product” seal. What does it mean?
DAN, ROCHESTER, NY
It’s the government’s guarantee that you aren’t
washing with synthetic suds. For years, compa-
nies liked to brag that their products were made
from renewable (usually plant-based) resources.
But these claims weren’t fact-checked, says Ron
Buckhalt, manager of the USDA’s BioPreferred
program. “There are folks who would just like to
put a drop of plant-based carbon in their prod-
uct and call it biobased,” he says. Now the USDA
71

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The bigger question is whether buying
that dish detergent will actually help the
planet. Mathis Wackernagel, Ph.D., presi-
dent of Global Footprint Network, a sus-
tainability think tank, says we’re burning
through fossil fuels at such a high rate that
it’s a step in the right direction whenever
we purchase products made of renewable
resources. “The faster we can build our
economies to operate on biologically based
products, the better off we’ll be,” he says.
But he cautions that just because a prod-
uct is biobased doesn’t necessarily mean it
was produced in the most sustainable way
possible. For example, there’s no guaran-
tee that the farmer didn’t overuse the soil
the ingredients grew in or that the forester
didn’t cut more trees than he planted. If
you want extra assurance that a product is
among the eco-friendliest, look for addi-
tional seals, such as approval from the For-
est Stewardship Council, which promotes
responsible forest management, or the
Rainforest Alliance, which monitors that
soil, water, and other resources were pre-
served in the making of the product.
I’ve heard that kidney stones are on
the rise. How can I tell if I’m at risk?
MAX, PROVIDENCE, RI
What does your scale say? The rise in obe-
sity is behind the avalanche of stones, says
Harold Franch, M.D., director of Emory
University’s Kidney Stone Prevention
Clinic. That’s because heavy men often
have more stone-promoting substances,
such as calcium and oxalate, in their
urine as a result of overeating. If you’re
too heavy, you’ll need to drop pounds.
(The threat of excruciating pain is a great
motivator.) But even if you’re lean, don’t
assume your world can’t be rocked: A poor
diet, a family history of stones, and medi-
cal conditions such as an overactive thy-
roid can raise your odds. Luckily, the best
medicine is on tap. “Water is the most
powerful preventive because it dilutes
everything in your urine,” Dr. Franch says.
A study in the Journal of the American
Society of Nephrology found that men who
drink more than 2½ liters of fluid a day
are 29 percent less likely to form stones
than those who drink less. You can also cut
your risk by following the DASH diet: Each
day, consume less than 2,300 milligrams
of sodium (doing so may reduce calcium
in your urine) and eat eight to 10 servings
of produce (fruits and vegetables are high
in stone-preventing citrate). The heart-
healthy plan can nearly halve a man’s risk
AM I
NORMAL?
When an athlete I admire is
accused of infidelity or using
drugs, I feel ashamed.
WILL, BILLINGS, MT
A-Rod must have really given you agita.
It’s actually common to feel invested
in the careers of athletes you admire,
says Daniel Wann, Ph.D., a professor of
psychology at Murray State University.
“We all have a desire to feel something
grander than ourselves, to be more than
we are,” he says. “One way to do that is
to feel a psychological link with others—
when you’re a sports fan, you feel part
of a team.” So when a player (or club)
you identify with is hit with a scandal,
the accusation feels like a threat to your
credibility. If you stay loyal, his behav-
ior rubs off on you. Even if you don’t, you
look gullible for believing in him in the
first place. Next time a player is busted,
remember that his failing is no more
yours than his megabuck salary is.
NORMAL WEIRD
of stones, Harvard research shows.
My doctor’s office has nurse practi-
tioners and physician’s assistants.
When do I demand to see an M.D.?
JOSH, BIRMINGHAM, AL
A nurse practitioner (NP) or a physician’s
assistant (PA) can handle most run-of-the-
mill maladies, freeing up medical doctors
for complex cases. What qualifies as com-
plex? NPs don’t usually handle uncon-
trolled high blood pressure or complicated
pain management, a study in the New Eng-
land Journal of Medicine reports. That said,
they can be trained in a variety of special-
ized areas: Some earn advanced certifica-
tion in managing heart disease or diabetes,
and PAs can train to assist with cardiovas-
cular surgery. “Ask about their education
and training, what kind of experience they
have with patients like you, and how each
member of the team works together,” says
Karen Donelan, Sc.D., a senior scientist at
the Mongan Institute for Health Policy.
Bottom line: If an NP or a PA doesn’t have
certification or experience in the area you
need, hold out for a doctor.
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K
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METHODOLOGY FOR RANKINGS:
28 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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100 CHARLESTON, WV
99 ALBUQUERQUE, NM
98 NORFOLK, VA
97 CHEYENNE, WY
96 LITTLE ROCK, AR
95 JACKSONVILLE, FL
94 TULSA, OK
93 LAS VEGAS, NV
92 BOISE, ID
91 TOLEDO, OH
HOW TO POP THE OTHER QUESTION
After “Who should we invite to the wedding?”
there’s no more fraught question than “How do
you feel about a prenup?” Stan Rayford, M.A.,
a couples counselor in Troy, Michigan, sug-
gests keeping the talk practical—you want a
prenup because the unexpected can and does
happen in marriage—and avoiding the D word.
If she balks, reassure her and say, “The way
I feel about you now, I don’t feel the need for a
prenup. My hope is that it gathers dust in a file
somewhere and we never need to see it again.”
PERCENTAGE MORE LIKELY
DIVORCED MEN ARE TO DIE,
ESPECIALLY FROM ACCIDENTS
OR VIOLENCE, IN THE SIX
MONTHS AFTER THE SPLIT
Source: Population Studies
135
Split City
IF A DIAMOND RING SYMBOLIZES THE “FOREVER” PART OF
marriage, maybe men in Charleston, West Virginia, should
stick with coal: The unions there tend to be messy and go
up in flames. In fact, our stats show that nowhere else in
the nation (not even Vegas) are couples more destined for
divorce court. Surprised? Not StephenN. Smith, executive
director of the West Virginia Healthy Kids and Families
Coalition, who points to the state’s sluggish job market as
one reason for Charleston’s transformation into Splits-
ville. “The pressure to make a good living puts strain on a
marriage,” he says, “and right now it is infinitely harder to
make a living here than it was 40 years ago.” —JERILYN COVERT
For full rankings, go to MensHealth.com/metrogrades.
Vow Towns
1 MADISON, WI
2 PITTSBURGH, PA
3 PHILADELPHIA, PA
4 COLUMBIA, SC
5 SEATTLE, WA
6 PLANO, TX
7 FARGO, ND
8 MILWAUKEE, WI
9 BURLINGTON, VT
10 LAREDO, TX
Ride Out the Storm
Let’s say you absolutely, positively want to get
unhitched. Wait six months anyway. “It’s best to
have a cooling-off period because emotions can
be high when people first decide to divorce,”
says Bill Doherty, Ph.D., director of the Minnesota
Couples on the Brink Project at the University of
Minnesota. Some states make trial separations
mandatory for a no-fault divorce (see map). If
you do wait, expect emotional ups and downs
as you sort out your feelings, says Doherty.
1
/
BORROW SOME BUCKS
Divorce isn’t cheap. Setting
aside a war chest is good, but
those savings are marital funds
and may be divvied up later.
So ask your folks for a loan, says
family law attorney Joseph
Cordell, CEO of Cordell & Cordell.
Document it and keep the
money in a separate account.
The debt may also help lower
any spousal support you owe.
2
/
WATCH YOUR FORM
Men have a habit of rushing
through the forms that courts
use to determine division of
property, says Cordell. “Often
the numbers from spouses are
vastly different; that becomes
the battlefield on which the
divorce is fought.” Sure, poring
over your expenses, assets,
and debt sounds like tax-time
torture, but it’s worth the effort.
3
/
HIRE A DOUGH PRO
If you have a small business,
real estate, several retirement
funds, or assets acquired prior
to marriage, hire an accoun-
tant, says Susan Carlisle, C.P.A.,
a forensic accountant in Los
Angeles who specializes in
divorce. A numbers expert
trained in family law can help
come up with solutions that
divorce lawyers might miss.
3 Ways to Cover Your Marital Assets
METHODOLOGY FOR RANKINGS: Percentage of people who are divorced (U.S. Census Bureau); number of marriage and family therapists per
capita (American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy); divorce rate and stringency of state divorce laws (state agencies)
Union Busters
99 ALBUQUERQUE, NM
MINIMUM LENGTH OF SEPARATION REQUIRED
FOR A NO-FAULT DIVORCE:
02
06
12
18
KENTUCKY
DELAWARE
ILLINOIS
LOUISIANA
VERMONT
VIRGINIA
WASHINGTON, D. C.
MARYLAND
NORTH CAROLINA
SOUTH CAROLINA
ARKANSAS
MONTHS
Source: State agencies
METRO
GRADES

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April 2014 | MENSHEALTH.COM 31 PHOTOGRAPHS BY CL AI RE BENOI ST
HIRE SOMEONE
TO YELL AT YOU
Ever wonder if a trainer is worth the money? According to
new UCLA research, a personal trainer can help make
you much stronger than exercising on your own. Guys
who worked with a fitness coach gained more muscle and
10 percent more endurance than men who chose and fol-
lowed their own program, says researcher Thomas Storer,
Ph.D. They also attained roughly six times the leg power of the
DIY group. The key was using an expert-guided plan, he says.
Working with your own instructor can also help you stick
to a workout and do it right. But don’t judge a strength coach
by his biceps—find a well-accredited one at nsca.com.
LISTEN UP, PUNK!
A coach can
motivate you to
train harder.

EDI TED BY MI CHAEL EASTER
For late-breaking
cardio news and
tips, go to news.
MensHealth.com.
STEEPER IS
BETTER
Do your treadmill work-
outs feel like torture?
Then make them short
but steep: For a fast
fitness boost, set a
sharp incline and run
intervals. In a Journal
of Strength and Condi-
tioning Research study,
twice-weekly 14-min-
ute sessions on a tread-
mill set to a 10 percent
incline helped runners
significantly improve
their oxygen consump-
tion and markers of
endurance. They went
30 seconds at a full
sprint, followed by 30
seconds’ rest. But don’t
sacrifice form for speed;
you can dial it back a bit
and still make gains.
THINK ON
YOUR FEET
Imagine that: Simply
moving around may
boost your creativity.
In a recent study from
Leiden University in the
Netherlands, partici-
pants who were given
a problem-solving
task performed well
on the test when they
tried to solve it while
cycling. “We think
movement can free
up mental blocks,”
says psychologist
Lorenza Colzato, Ph.D.,
the lead study author.
One caveat, though:
People who were not
accustomed to exer-
cising actually scored
worse on the test while
cycling. So the next
time you find yourself
stuck in the weeds, go
for a walk, run, or ride
to jumpstart your men-
tal machinery, Colzato
suggests, either alone
or with others.
Percentage reduction in the risk
of dying of cancer over 12 years
among men who got fit, versus
those who stayed out of shape
Source: Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise
41
TRIPLE THREAT
Your hamstrings
are actually three
separate muscles.
NoStringsDetached
A horrible pain explained: University of Virginia scientists
determined that strain on your hamstrings increases at
higher speeds and peaks just before foot strike. That’s
when your hamstrings must activate to slow your leg to
prepare for contact. Before sprints, warm up your muscles
and your stride, says MH training advisor BJ Gaddour. Start
with 40 seconds each of jumping jacks, lunges, and high-
knees with no rest in between. Then do acceleration runs,
slowly building to 50 to 75 percent of your max speed. This
warmup will help boost bloodflow, reducing injury risk.
= Hot = Cold
Hot Tip
Heat doesn’t affect
max effort. In a Texas
Christian University
study, cyclists riding
at 100 percent effort
in 99°F fatigued in 5
minutes, the same as
guys in 50°F. But at
80 percent max, the
hot cyclists conked
out sooner—in 13 min-
utes—than the cool
riders, who lasted 25.
At lower intensity,
heat buildup is the
fatiguing factor; at
max, it’s your fitness.
T
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0
4
8
1
2
1
6
2
0
2
4
2
8
3
2
80% OF
VO2 MAX
100% OF
VO2 MAX
TEMPERATURE
32 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014

Check out our website at MENSHEALTH.COM/INSIDEOUT for the latest event and promotion updates.
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A
l
l

b
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EDI TED BY JULI E STEWART
For late-breaking
weight-loss news
and tips, go to news.
MensHealth.com.
Is This Hero a Villain?
Some food messes with your mind before your waistline: People tend to
underestimate the calories in pizza and subs more than in other fast food,
a study in the Journal of Consumer Affairs reveals. Study participants thought
subs and pizza contained about a third fewer calories than they actually did,
but gave somewhat more accurate calorie counts for hamburgers, fried chicken,
and Mexican entrées. The reason? People misjudge pizza portion sizes and
perceive subs as healthy food, says study author Scot Burton, Ph.D. Order a low-
cal side, like an apple, and eat less of the handheld calorie bombs, he advises.
FULL BUNS
Don’t discount
how many
calories are
stuffed in
this sandwich.
48 HOURS
LARGER
A cheat day won’t sink
your diet—but a cheat
weekend might. A study
from Pennington Bio-
medical Research Cen-
ter shows that two days
of bad eating can hin-
der your slimdown
effort for days to come.
When people ate 40
percent more food than
they needed over 48
hours, the indulgence
set them up for four
more days of overeating
and cravings. Your body
doesn’t signal for less
food to compensate for
short-term upticks in
energy intake, says
study author John W.
Apolzan, Ph.D. So watch
your calories on week-
ends, and amp up your
workouts: A study from
the U.K. found that daily
vigorous exercise helps
blunt the effects of
short-term pig-outs.
ON OUR
RADAR
Peel Away the Fat
The outer layers of onions could
be more treasure than trash:
Research from Korea shows that
an extract from onion peels may
help prevent fat formation. Rats
that ate the extract gained less
body fat than those that didn’t,
even though their diets were other-
wise identical. Onion peels contain
quercetin, which the researchers
say suppresses the formation of fat
cells in their early stages, blunt-
ing weight gain. But don’t gnaw on
onion peels just yet: More research
is needed to confirm the effect.
Number of calories in
just one slice of Genoa salami
(the type often used in
Italian-style subs)
Source: USDA
35
HEAVY
INFLUENCE
Remember this when
you’re in charge of
the takeout order: The
person you’re also
ordering for affects
your own meal choice,
new Duke University
research suggests.
When asked to select
a snack for themselves
and an overweight
companion, people
were most likely to pick
identical foods, even
if both choices were
high-calorie. “We worry
about offending oth-
ers,” says study author
Peggy Liu, Ph.D.(c). If
you give your portly pal
fries while you take a
salad, then you might
convey that fries are
for fat folks. Do the
opposite, and you may
seem judgmental. The
fix? Pick something
low-cal for both of you.
34 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014

CRUNCH ON
S
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.
There’s extended playtime in the crunch of almonds.
Not to mention 6g of energy-giving protein, 4g of
hunger-slaying fiber and essential nutrients in every
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T 
here’s getting from point A
to point B, and then there’s
doing it like gymnastics and
Parkour expert Austin Raye
does—the hardest, strongest way possible.
As a personal trainer and tumbling coach,
Austin inspires others to overcome fear
and achieve their dreams. And he lives his
own: he practices Parkour anywhere and
everywhere. This high-adrenaline physical
and mental workout lets him try new things, incorporate
diferent locations and throw in gymnastics-inspired flips for
extra “wow” factor.
What keeps him going? After workouts, Austin relies on
Isopure Zero Carb Protein drink in one of his favorite flavors
for 100% whey protein isolate and 100% awesome taste
to keep his muscles strong and lean, plus provide crystal-clear
refreshment.Q
A U S T I N R A Y E - P A R K O U R E X P E R T
REAL SUCCESS
IS MORE
THAN MUSCLE
To find out more about
Austin and Isopure, check out
TheIsopureCompany.com/Austin.
AUSTIN’S TUESDAY WORKOUT
WARM UP
• 3 sets:
~ Jumping jacks for 1 min.
~ Shadow boxing with kicks for 1 min.
~ 20 push-ups
ABS, CORE AND BALANCE
• 3 sets:
~ 15 crunches
~ 15 sit-ups
~ 15 reverse crunches
~ 15 oblique crunches (each side)
~ 30 bicycle kicks
~ 30 Russian twists
~ Plank for 1 min.
~ 30 mountain climbers
~ 5 headstand push-ups
• Headstand balance for 15-20 mins.
• Tumble for an hour
A D V E R T O R I A L
PHOTO BY VICTORIA BROUGHTON

Meet the man behind the muscle at TheIsopureCompany.com/Austin #MoreThanMuscle

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38 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014 EDI TED BY MI CHAEL EASTER
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b
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(
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For late-breaking
muscle news and
tips, go to news.
MensHealth.com.
SORE NO MORE
There really can be gain
without pain. Soreness
isn’t a prerequisite for
building muscle, an
analysis in the Strength
and Conditioning Jour-
nal concludes. After
reviewing the science,
study coauthor Brad
Schoenfeld, Ph.D., C.S.C.S.,
determined that aches,
while they might signal
that you’ve damaged
the muscle enough for it
to repair itself and grow,
are not necessary for
gains. Plus, he says, “too
much soreness can
impede your ability to
work out again.” Haven’t
trained for a few weeks?
Minimize discomfort by
lifting 20 percent lighter
than your norm, and stop
2 reps short of failure in
your first two workouts.
Number of weekly core
workouts (including side planks,
bird dogs, and curlups) that
may help manage low-back pain
Source: The Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research
2
ON OUR
RADAR
Avoid the DL
Does WOD stand for Workout of
Danger? Three out of four Cross-
Fit participants surveyed said they
sustained an injury during training,
a U.K. study reveals. “Many peo-
ple aren’t physically prepared for
CrossFit’s high-intensity workouts
and complicated overhead lifts,”
says Men’s Health training advisor
Bill Hartman, P.T., C.S.C.S. His advice:
Begin any intense program at a
comfortable level; slowly step up
the load, speed, and intensity; and
never do moves that hurt or that
you think might be dangerous.
The Hurt List
Ever notice that some
body parts just seem
to end up more achy
than others? That’s not
your imagination. “Mus-
cles that you’re able to
stretch as you’re load-
ing them have the most
potential for damage
and resulting soreness,”
says Schoenfeld. See
below to find out which
muscles are most
prone to aches after
a hard workout.
CALVES
HAMSTRINGS
GLUTES
TRICEPS
PECS
Hey Dumbbell, Try a Sandbag
Sometimes you need to get dirty to get big: Sandbags provide a more effec-
tive workout than dumbbells do, according to a study from the University of
Wisconsin at Milwaukee. Researchers found that people who exercised with the
earth-filled bags registered higher heart rates and burned more calories than
those who did the exact same routine with dumbbells. “The theory is that the
sand shifting in the bag makes your lower body and core work harder to stabilize
the load,” says study coauthor David J. Cornell, M.S., C.S.C.S. That increases the
intensity, which can help build more muscle. Visit ultimatesandbagtraining.com
to buy your own bag, and go to MensHealth.com/sandbag for a killer workout.
STACK UP THE MUSCLE
Use a sandbag to
unleash a flood of
sweat and strength.


T
r
u
n
k

A
r
c
h
i
v
e
For late-breaking
sex news and
tips, go to news.
MensHealth.com.
HAPPY WIFE,
HAPPY LIFE
If she feels good, so
will you: Her sexual
satisfaction may
be the key to your
happiness with the
relationship, reports
a Journal of Sex & Mari-
tal Therapy study. Men
feel that pleasing their
wife is a major respon-
sibility, the study found,
so success can be sat-
isfying. And it’s not all
about orgasms: Author
Suzanne Bartle-Haring,
Ph.D., says discussing
sex is crucial too.
THE UPSIDE
OF JEALOUSY
Worried she’ll stray?
Make that fear work
for you. People who
thought their partner
was being tempted
used defense tac -
tics to protect the
relation ship, according
to a study in the Journal
of Social and Personal
Relationships. The
tactics, such as spend-
ing more time together
or being more vigilant
to potential threats, paid
off: The mates felt more
committed. “Guarding
our partners shows that
we care for them,” says
study author Angela
Neal, M.A. Of course,
snooping through her
cell or telling her she
can’t go out with friends
shows you’re psycho.
ON OUR
RADAR
A Better Bond
Oxytocin, the hormone released
during cuddling, may keep you
faithful. In a German study, men
received a nasal spritz of either
oxytocin or a placebo and then rated
images of their partner and other
attractive women. The result? On
oxytocin, they rated their mate
but not the other women as more
attractive than they did on the
placebo. Also, their brains’ reward
regions were more active when
they viewed photos of their partner,
possibly from a dopamine release
triggered by the oxytocin.
Seconds by which men under-
estimated the duration of an
eight-minute chat they’d just
had with an attractive woman
Source: Journal of Experimental Social Psychology
92
Heat
Up Her
Cooldown
Sweat is a lubricant.
New research confirms
that women who hit the
gym have a better time
in bed. In a study from
the University of Texas
at Austin, women with
low sex drive (caused by
prescription drugs) who
worked out regularly for
21 days reported higher
sexual desire—especially
when they had sex after
a workout. Their exercise-
related improvement in
genital bloodflow is prob-
ably a result women not
on meds can also expect,
researchers say. See this
issue’s Special Report for
more on drugs and libido.
40 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
T
r
u
n
k

A
r
c
h
i
v
e
EDI TED BY MADELI NE HALLER
WORK OUT HER KINKS
It’s not an
elliptical—it’s
a sex machine.
Source: Centre for Sexual
Health Promotion
M
A
R
R
I
E
D

M
E
N

W
H
O

H
A
V
E

S
E
X

A
T

L
E
A
S
T

T
W
I
C
E

A

W
E
E
K

(
%
)
0
18-24 25-29 30-39 40-49
2
0
4
0
6
0
8
0
1
0
0
AGE
Getting Enough?


42 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014 EDI TED BY JULI E STEWART
For late-breaking
health news and
tips, go to news.
MensHealth.com.
BUMP UP
YOUR HEALTH
When you offer a hand-
shake, you may receive
something in return—
illness-causing germs.
So stop rolling the
dice: A fist bump can
transmit less bacteria
than a handshake.
In a West Virginia Uni-
versity study, people
ended up with less than
a quarter of the bacte-
ria on their paws when
they bumped fists than
when they pressed the
flesh. It’s likely that viral
transmission could be
reduced through fist
bumps too, says study
author Paul Ghareeb,
M.D., who says hand-
shakes expose more
skin for a longer period
of time. If you don’t
want to knock knuckles
(with the boss, say), just
keep the handshake
brief, says Dr. Ghareeb.
ARE YOU IRON
DEFICIENT?
There’s more than pride
at stake when you slide
under a barbell. A weak
showing at the gym
may signal hidden
health problems, say
Canadian and U.S. sci-
entists. Young men who
couldn’t bench 88 per-
cent of their body weight
and leg-press 176 per-
cent of their body weight
were more than 1½
times as likely as stron-
ger guys to have a group
of conditions that raise
heart disease and dia-
betes risk. Stronger
muscles may potentially
protect you by secret-
ing more metabolism-
regulating hormones,
says study author Martin
Sénéchal, Ph.D. Accord-
ing to researchers in
Norway, you can boost
your PR by doing 3 sets
at your 6-rep max twice
a week for eight weeks.
DrivingWhileAllergic
Percentage of men at risk for
heart disease or diabetes
who think they’re in good
or excellent health
Source: American Diabetes Association
79
ON OUR
RADAR
The Flavor Savior
Call it a recipe for a healthier life:
In a University of Miami study,
a compound derived from all-
spice stunted the growth of pros-
tate cancer cells in a petri dish.
What’s more, when mice were fed
a dose equal to about 1 teaspoon
of allspice powder, their tumor
growth slowed. The compound,
called ericifolin, may blunt andro-
gen receptors that aid the growth
of prostate cancer cells. Pending
more study, ericifolin may be used
as a secondary cancer treatment or
a preventive step for men at risk.
POLLEN PERIL
Keep your itchy
eyes on the road.

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YOU
CAN’T
FAKE
STRONG

44 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014 EDI TED BY HANNAH McWI LLI AMS
For late-breaking
nutrition news and
tips, go to news.
MensHealth.com.
BAN SNIFFLES
WITH BRAN
High-fiber cereal may
soothe allergies, Swiss
research found. When
mice were exposed to
allergens and fed vary-
ing amounts of fiber,
those that ate the
most fiber had a drop
in allergic responses
of at least 50 percent.
Fiber may produce
fatty acids that temper
the immune response,
easing symptoms.
More studies are
needed to prove an
effect in humans.
Percentage fewer deaths over
30 years among men who eat
at least 7 ounces of nuts a week,
versus men who eat none
Source: The New England Journal of Medicine
20
HOLY COW!
Muscle-building
milk may also help
fight disease.
More Nutrients, Less Cash
You can eat healthy without also consum-
ing your paycheck, University of Washington
research shows. The picks at the top offer
the most nutritional bang for your buck.
IN MEMORY
OF JOE
Your a.m. brew is more
than just a wake-up cup.
Caffeine may boost
your memory up to 24
hours after consump-
tion, say Johns Hopkins
University researchers.
People who consumed
the caffeine equivalent
of two cups of coffee
were up to 12 percent
better at recalling
images. Caffeine may
stimulate chemicals
involved in memory stor-
age, the scientists say.
COOKED SWEET POTATOES
RAW ROMAI NE LETTUCE
RAW ROMA TOMATOES
COOKED POTATOES
COOKED BRUSSELS SPROUTS
COOKED ZUCCHI NI
COOKED FRESH CORN
RAW MUSHROOMS
RAW CARROTS
RAW CELERY
RAW RED PEPPERS
COOKED BROCCOLI
COOKED GREEN BEANS
Got Organic?
White milk is better if it’s green. Organic whole milk may
have a healthier fat ratio than nonorganic varieties,
a study in PLOS One reports. Organic moo juice contains
25 percent less inflammatory omega-6 fatty acids and
62 percent more anti-inflammatory omega-3s than nonor-
ganic milk. The researchers credit the organically raised
cows’ plant-rich diet, which translates to a better omega ratio
in their milk. Study author Charles Benbrook, Ph.D., suggests
three servings of dairy a day, in line with USDA guidelines.

Talk to your doctor about ALLERGIC ASTHMA
Allergic Asthma can have a way of making man’s best friend
his worst enemy
Is allergic asthma threatening you? If triggers like
pet dander and dust mites put you at risk for a
serious attack, you could have allergic asthma.
There’s one way to find out for sure. Ask your
doctor about getting tested for allergic asthma.
Then ask what you can do about it.
/puppy
© 2014 Genentech USA, Inc. and Novartis Pharmaceuticals
Corporation. XOL0002290800 1/14 Printed in USA.

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PHOTOGRAPHS BY JEFF LI PSKY
47
YOUR EDGE—IN EVERYTHING!
EDI TED BY CLI NT CARTER
“I never believed I’d have a six-pack, especially
not at 35 years old. You just have to be willing to
do what it takes.” —SULLIVAN STAPLETON
Sullivan Stapleton
P. 48

48 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
Leader
of the
Six-Pack
In the new 300 film, Sullivan Stapleton
and his warrior band use swords, grit, and
epic musculature to fight off invaders.
If you’re battling a flab incursion, take his
experience to heart. BY ADAM CAMPBELL
THE ACTOR WITH THE INCREDIBLY RIPPED ABS ISN’T SPECIAL. OR LUCKY.
He earned that washboard.
“I never believed I’d have a six-pack, especially not at 35 years old,” says
Sullivan Stapleton, star of 300: Rise of an Empire. “I always thought it was
a genetic blessing.” He takes a swig of Coopers Sparkling Ale. “It’s not,” he
says. “You just have to be willing to do what it takes.”
Even if you haven’t heard of the relatively unknown Stapleton, you’re
almost certainly familiar with the film 300. This 2007 blockbuster made
even the fittest men look down at their midsections in disappointment.
It’s also the movie that turned another relatively unknown actor, Gerard
Butler, into a bona fide box office stud.
These similarities make for a fascinating subplot to this year’s follow-up
film: Like Butler, Stapleton seriously transformed his body for the role. And
now, as in Butler’s case, the role is likely to seriously transform his life.
Back in 2010, an obscure Australian flick titled Animal Kingdom won a
top prize at the Sundance Film Festival, and a supporting actor in that film,
one Sullivan Stapleton, was noticed by U.S. talent agents.
Stapleton was working his other job at the time—the one that supported
his acting habit. “A week after wrapping Animal Kingdom, I was back on
a construction site,” he says. “That’s the movie industry back home. Or at
least that’s the industry to me.”
That changed. Soon afterward came a costarring role in Strike Back, a
Cinemax original series now in its fourth and final season. That was good.
But it was Stapleton’s Animal Kingdom performance that caught the
eye of Noam Murro, director of 300: Rise of an Empire. “What I saw in that
movie was a phenomenal actor,” says Murro.
Stapleton remembers their first meeting well: “I read for Noam and he
said, ‘Wow, when I close my eyes, all I hear is Russell Crowe,’ ” he says. “I’d
heard this comparison before. But for this director to say it, well, that’s
big. So I said something like, ‘Just cast me, then. I might sound like Russell
Crowe, but I’m a whole lot cheaper.’”
Now all he needed to do was look the part.
“I thought, ‘I have to put on a ton of muscle,’” says Stapleton. “But it was
just the opposite. They wanted me to be as lean as possible.”
“They” are the experts at Gym Jones, a private strength and condition-
ing facility in Utah. It’s owned by Mark Twight, a man famous in the fitness
BUTLER DID IT...
and now Sullivan
Stapleton takes
the heroic lead
in 300: Rise of
an Empire.
Sullivan Stapleton

BY DAN JOHN
Many trainers follow
the wisdom of the late
Vince Gironda, the
prototypical coach of
Hollywood badasses.
Gironda figured that if
you gain an inch on your
shoulders and lose an
inch off your waist, you
look as good as if you’d
gained 2 inches on
your shoulders or lost
2 inches off your waist.
Sticking to trainer
Mark Twight’s three
principles (above) can
lighten you by a pound
a day, and you’d build
muscle. When one
of the actors in 300
picked up his wife at the
airport after a month of
training, she didn’t rec-
ognize him. That is what
happens when you
stick to the plan. But
if you decide to party
all weekend, you start
again from scratch.
It’s a circle: To train
this hard, you have to
sleep. If you don’t sleep
enough, you won’t train
hard enough. Insuffi-
cient sleep often leads
to poor food choices
and more calories. It’s
not a single item that
makes the difference;
it’s the discipline to
sleep, restrict your cal-
orie intake, and train.
You need all three if
you want to look like
a superhero.
Dan John is one
of the top strength
coaches in the country
and a regular contrib-
utor to Men’s Health.
The Secret to
Hollywood Abs
1 SLEEP 10 HOURS
A NIGHT
2 EAT 1,800 TO 2,000
CALORIES A DAY
3 TRAIN AS HARD
AS YOU CAN IN THE
TIME YOU HAVE
MOTTO
“Just be yourself.”
HERO
“My mother. Toughest
lady I know.”
LIFE-CHANGING EVENT
“Trip to the United
States to attend
the Sundance Film
Festival with Animal
Kingdom. Massively
life-changing.”
LAST WEBSITE RECOM-
MENDEDTO AFRIEND
“I probably shouldn’t
mention any of these.”
TOP HEALTH STRATEGY
“I keep my diet low
in carbohydrates and
high in protein. If I’m
going to consume
carbs, I prefer to drink
them. I’m a sucker
for a nice red wine or
a good single malt.”
FAVORITE EXERCISE
“Anything outdoors—
cycling, tennis,
or kicking a footy
with mates.”
INSPIRING FICTIONAL
CHARACTER
“The two characters in
The Intouchables
reminded me to see
the good in people.”
Rapid Fire
Sullivan
Stapleton

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50 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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industry for his no-tolerance attitude—and for his success in chiseling
actors’ physiques. After all, he did train the cast of the original 300. (See
“The Secret to Hollywood Abs” on the previous page.)
In 12 weeks, Stapleton managed to shed 25 pounds of fat. “It was nothing
like I’ve ever done before,” he says. “I’d go to the gym and look at the sheet
that day and say, ‘Oh, all right, so that’s the workout.’ And then they’d say,
‘No, that’s the warmup.’”
An example: “Man makers,” says Stapleton. “You do them while holding
dumbbells. They’re a combination burpee, where you squat, kick your feet
out, and do a pushup. But while you’re down there, you do a row with each
arm and then jump back to squat, stand up, and do a push press. That’s a rep.”
Perspective: Pulling off 20 reps with a challenging weight can be gut-
wrenching. “They’d have me do 50 to 100 of these man makers,” he says.
“Again, that’s just the warmup.”
After man makers came the superman maker, a training session that’s
a brutal physical and mental test. Can you survive it? There’s no other
choice, at least not in the world of Twight. From the Gym Jones website:
“The training is painful. There are no shortcuts.” (For a taste of this main
course, see “The All-New 300 Workout,” right.)
But at the end of each day’s Gym Jones workout, Stapleton wasn’t done.
Next came 90 minutes of sword fighting. This was after a 10- to 12-hour day
on the set of Strike Back, which he was filming as he prepared for 300.
“If you watch that season of Strike Back, you’ll see an amazing transfor-
mation, because I’m training for this movie,” says Stapleton. “One day I
noticed I had a six-pack. I thought, ‘Holy Jesus, look at that!’”
THESE DAYS STAPLETON LOOKS SURPRISINGLY NORMAL. FIT, FOR SURE, BUT
normal. This is the real Sullivan Stapleton.
So what happened to his six-pack from the film? “To stay in that kind
of shape is boring, really,” he says. “If we go out to dinner, you choose from
the entire menu—and I have steak, no sauce. You order off the wine list;
I order water. And I love wine.”
It’s a truth you don’t often hear in Hollywood. Or even in magazines
like Men’s Health. We talk about sculpting a six-pack, but not about what
happens once the hard-won washboard is in place. “It’s not so bad when
you’re paid to do it, but to maintain a six-pack constantly just isn’t worth it
to me,” says Stapleton.
In movies, you see actors for a single moment in time: They’re defined
not only by roles but for roles. For Stapleton, 300: Rise of an Empire is just
that: a moment. A really big moment, potentially. ½
NOT A TRAINING BEVERAGE
He built his body and earned
a reward. What’s your plan?
THE ALL-NEW300 WORKOUT
Building 300-level abs isn’t complicated. But don’t mistake
“simple” for “easy.” Stapleton started Mark Twight’s workout
with a five-minute warmup, then rowed 500 meters as fast as
he could (on a machine). Next, he did the five exercises below.
DIRECTIONS
For exercise 1, do as many reps as you can in 60
seconds. Use a 50-pound kettlebell or dumbbell, or the
heaviest you can manage. Rest for 60 seconds. Repeat
three times, decreasing weight each time, for 4 sets
total. Repeat the procedure for exercises 2 and 3—
starting heavy and then going lighter. For exercise 4,
hold a 95-pound barbell as long as you can with good
form. (Use less weight if you falter.) For exercise 5, hold
the plank as long as you can, one time.
GOBLET SQUAT
Grab a kettlebell by the horns
and stand with your feet just
beyond shoulder width.
Keeping your back naturally
arched, push your hips back,
bend your knees, and lower
your body as far as you can.
Push back up to the starting
position and repeat.
PUSH PRESS
Stand holding a pair of ket-
tlebells or dumbbells next to
your shoulders. Bend your
knees and then push up
explosively, using the power
of your lower body to help
press the weights overhead.
Lower the kettlebells or
dumbbells and repeat.
KETTLEBELL SWING
Set a kettlebell on the floor
in front of you, your feet
slightly beyond shoulder
width. Grab it with both hands
and “hike” it between your
legs. Thrust your hips forward
forcefully and swing the
weight up to chest level; keep
swinging back and forth.
OVERHEAD HOLD
Secure a barbell in a rack
and put a 25-pound plate on
each side (95 pounds total,
with the bar). Set your feet
shoulder-width apart and do
a push press but lock your
elbows at the top, pull your
shoulders down, and hold for
as long as you safely can.
PLANK
Assume a plank position.
Make yourself as long as pos-
sible (stretch out!) and brace
your core. Squeeze your
glutes and press your elbows
into the floor and your upper
back toward the ceiling. Hold
for as long as you can. If you
start to sag, you’re done.
Tk Sullivan Stapleton

^ ®
*In a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled study of 112 healthy volunteers, subjects taking the GNC vitamin and mineral blend in this product for six weeks experienced statistically significant improvements in markers of B vitamin and antioxidant status, as well
as improvements in SF-36 Vitality and Mental Health scores compared to those taking a placebo.
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Program rather than each individual supplement. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Call 1.800.477.4462 or visit GNC.com for the store nearest you. ©2014 General Nutrition Corporation. May not be available outside the U.S.
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52 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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BY L AURA TEDESCO
When looking at your online dating pro-
file, women are about 5 times more likely
to focus on your hobbies than your job.
Source: Men’s Health survey of 759 women
5 Things to Never Say to a Naked Woman
When the sex is good, it speaks for itself. When it’s not, you have to use actual words.
Just choose them carefully or she may cut you off for good.
LOVE CAN BE MESSY—ESPECIALLY THE SEX PART. BUT TO STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT, SOMETIMES YOU
have to start a difficult conversation. And that’s fine, if you do it with tact. “You have to develop the
vocabulary to talk about sensitive issues,” says Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., a sex therapist based in Phila-
delphia. “It will help you please your partner.” In fact, a recent study published in the Journal of Couple
& Relationship Therapy found that communication is the most critical factor in a couple’s success—
it’s even more significant than the sex itself. That’s why you should pause before you open your big
mouth and say something you’ll regret. We talked to the experts to find out how you can ace the talks
you’d rather avoid and still come out on top (or bottom—whichever you prefer).
“That orgasm
seemed as phony
as Cheez Whiz.”
Don’t accuse her, says
Eli Finkel, Ph.D., a profes-
sor of social psychology
at Northwestern Univer-
sity. Instead, have that
talk away from the bed-
room. When the topic
comes up naturally, say,
“You don’t ever need to
fake orgasms with me.
I want our relationship to
be totally honest.” You’ll
foster mutual respect—
in and out of the sack.
“I’ll enjoy the sex
more after you
take an STD test.”
The message she
hears: “I suspect you
have an STD.” That’s
not exactly a turn-on.
So flip the script: Tell
her you want to get
tested for her sake, and
ask if she’d be willing
to do it with you. If you
frame the suggestion
as something the two
of you can do together,
says Goldman, then
she won’t feel accused.
“Is that supposed
to feel good?
I don’t like it.”
Say this, and you’ll look
like an ass. Instead,
show that you’re eager
to improve too, says
Goldman. Ask, “What
do you want more of or
less of in bed?” You’ll
learn something about
your own game, and
when it’s your turn to
share, she’ll be all ears.
One trick: Sandwich the
complaint between two
compliments, and it will
go down even easier.
“There’s something
really weird I want
to try with you.”
Congrats—now she’s
leery. “If you say, ‘I know
this is weird, but . . . ’ your
partner is bound to feel
conflicted,” Goldman
says. A smarter way in:
“I’m curious about
bondage. What do you
think?” By starting a
conversation instead of
forcing her to say yes or
no, you give her time to
think. She’ll see that you
view the act as a way to
connect, not control.
JOB
HOBBIES
DON’T BLOW IT
She’s minutes
away from being
in your bed.
“Not now, thanks.
I’d rather just read
my book.”
You’re allowed to be
tired, but make sure she
knows you’re surprised
too. Try, “I can’t believe
I’m saying this, but I’m
too exhausted,” says
Finkel. Then ask for a
rain check—say, for the
morning—and tell her
you’ll do anything she
wants. “Reassuring her
is important,” Goldman
says. If she knows
you’re still interested,
she’ll give you a pass.

“YOU HAVE TO
DEVELOP THE
VOCABULARY
TO TALK ABOUT
SENSITIVE
ISSUES. IT
WILL HELP YOU
PLEASE YOUR
PARTNER.”
Sex

HIS JEANS WILL TELL A STORY, FROM EVERY GREASE STAIN
TO FADE MARK AND TO EVERY RIP & HOLE.

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Sleep Goggles
Tired guys rate a woman’s intent to have sex with them
14 percent higher than they do when they’re well rested.
Source: Sleep
Follow Madeline on Facebook
at MHGirlNextDoor, and on
Twitter at @MHGirlNextDoor.
Food play in the bedroom:
Is it sexy, or just gross?
BOBBY, ROCHESTER, NY
I think it’s hot, but you and your girl need to find out for
yourselves. And what’s the harm in trying? Start by feed-
ing each other—berries were made for this. Then drip
something light and sweet, like whipped cream or choco-
late syrup, over her breasts. Stickier options, like honey,
may be harder to lick off, so remember that as you raid
the kitchen. And try to keep the sweet stuff away from
her sweet spot—the sugar can irritate a woman’s genitals.
I’m ready to end
a casual fling. Is this
something I have to
do in person?
JON, SALT LAKE CITY, UT
How do you define
“casual”? More impor-
tant, how does she
define it? Because if it’s
truly a fling—a couple of
late-night hookups,
maybe some sexting—
then let it fizzle. You
don’t need to say any-
thing. But if she keeps
texting you and trying to
plan your next hangout,
then yeah, you two
need to talk. Just don’t
do it in public—the
potential for disaster is
too high. Give her a call
and tell her you like her
but that you don’t see
this relationship being
a long-term thing. Keep
it short and sweet, just
like your fling was.
My roommate and
his girl are way too
public with their
displays of affec-
tion. Can I tell him
to tone it down?
RYAN, AUSTIN, TX
I’m guessing that by
“public” you mean
“in the apartment.” If
they’re just kissing,
cuddling, and being
lovey, then relax. It’s
his place too. You’re
obliged to deal with a
few quirks. But if they’re
dry-humping while
you’re trying to watch
Saturday morning car-
toons, that’s inconsid-
erate. So go ahead and
speak up. Just tell him
you feel uncomfortable,
and he’ll be too embar-
rassed to push the
boundaries again. PDA-
gone-too-far is a bit like
obscenity: There’s no
clear definition, but you
know it when you see it.
The girl I’m dating
has an Instagram
feed loaded with
racy photos of her.
Would I sound inse-
cure if I asked her
to remove them?
ALLEN, TAMPA, FL
Insecure, maybe. Con-
trolling? Definitely. She
had the photos up
before you two started
dating, right? They’re
her form of personal
expression, and pres-
suring her to take them
down might make her
feel as if you’re treating
her body as your per-
sonal property. You may
just have to accept this,
Al. But if it bothers you a
lot, bring it up gently. Tell
her you hate the idea of
other guys ogling her
but that the decision to
keep the photos up (or
not) is totally hers. Then
respect her decision.
Why are so many
women against
doggy-style?
TED, CLEVELAND, OH
Short answer: We can’t
see you. From where
you’re sitting (or stand-
ing), doggy seems
great. You control the
pace and depth and get
a killer rearview angle.
Meanwhile, we’re star-
ing at a wall. So if you
want more doggy in
your life, make sure she
doesn’t feel like she’s
having anonymous sex:
Cup her breasts, rub her
clitoris, say her name.
It’ll make sex more plea-
surable for her—which
will pay off big for you.
You Blew It!
We polled Wom-
en’s Health read-
ers to find out
which bonehead
moves guarantee
your first date is
also your last.
HE BRINGS
UP HIS EX
If your date asks,
say, “She was nice
but she wasn’t
right for me,” says
Tracey Steinberg,
author of Flirt for
Fun & Meet the
One. Then change
the subject to,
well, anything else.
HE DOESN’T MAKE
EYE CONTACT
Remember the
70-30 rule: 70 per-
cent of the time
you’re focused on
her, and the other
30 percent of the
time you’re looking
at the menu, your
food, or the room,
says Steinberg.
HE CHEWS WITH
HIS MOUTH OPEN
There’s a strong
correlation between
how you eat and
your performance
in the bedroom,
says Steinberg.
Show your sen-
sual side by taking
smaller bites and
chewing slowly.
Women
54 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014


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56 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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TRAINER
Jason Hartman, M.S.,
C.S.C.S., civilian con-
tracted strength and
conditioning coach
with the U.S. Army’s 5th
Special Forces Group
and former strength
and conditioning coordi-
nator for the U.S.
Olympic Committee
BEST FOR
Triggering new muscle
growth, hitting the
refresh button on a stale
routine, and building
a fit body that kicks ass
beyond the gym
EQUIPMENT
Barbell, plates, dip belt
or weighted vest,
pullup bar, kettlebell
FOCUS
Strength, power, fat loss
CALORIES BURNED
441*
*as measured by a fit 6'2",
185-pound man using a Polar
FT7 watch
1 Barbell Squat
Hold the bar across your upper back using an over-
hand grip, and place your feet shoulder-width apart.
Keeping your lower back naturally arched, push your
hips back, bend your knees, and lower your body
as far as you can. Pause, and reverse the move to
return to the starting position.
4 Kettlebell Swing
Place a kettlebell on the floor in front of you. Spread
your feet slightly beyond shoulder width, push your
hips back, and grab the kettlebell’s handle. Swing it
between your legs and then up to chest level as you
thrust your hips forward. Swing it back between your
legs—that’s 1 rep—and repeat without pausing.
3 Weighted Pullup
Strap on a weighted dip belt or vest and grab a
pullup bar with an overhand grip and your hands
slightly beyond shoulder width. Hang at arm’s
length (a position called a dead hang). Pull your
chest to the bar, pause, and return to a dead
hang. If these are too hard, do them unweighted.
2 Barbell Shoulder Press
Grab the bar using an overhand grip that’s just
beyond shoulder width, and hold it in front of you at
shoulder level with your feet shoulder-width apart.
Push the bar straight up, leaning your head back
slightly but keeping your torso upright. Pause, and
return to the starting position.
5 Burpee
Stand with your feet about shoulder-width apart
and your arms at your sides. Push your hips back,
bend your knees, and lower your body until you can
place your hands on the floor in front of you. Kick
your legs backward into a pushup position and then
quickly return to a squat. Stand up and repeat.
HOW TO DO IT
Complete 3 sets of 5
reps for each of the first
three exercises, resting
2 minutes between sets.
Then perform the last
two exercises as a super-
set (back-to-back). Start
with 10 reps of each (20
if you want a true Special
Forces challenge), and
subtract 1 rep per exer-
cise in each successive
superset until you reach
zero. Rest as needed.
31 MINUTES
The Green
Beret
Gauntlet
Build functional real-world
strength with the same
fat-incinerating, muscle-
multiplying circuit used by
U.S. Special Forces.
Best New Workout

5k to 10k.
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The Power of Balance
Sculpt muscle and boost total-body mobility and coordination—one limb at a time.
THINK OF THE TWO BODY-WEIGHT
exercises on this page as perfor-
mance audits. “Being able to do
both the offset pushup and the
single-leg squat with perfect form
proves that you’re strong and ath-
letic,” says Craig Ballantyne, C.T.T.,
a Toronto-based trainer and the
author of Turbulence Training.
“But if you can’t do the same num-
ber of repetitions with each arm
or leg, you probably have a strength
imbalance.” That can not only
affect your performance in the gym
and in sports but also increase
your risk of injury, leading to missed
workouts and slower gains. “The
average guy struggles with these
moves,” says Ballantyne. “So mas-
tering them gives you the opportu-
nity to show just how far above
average you are.” —MICHAEL EASTER
HOW TO DO IT
Complete a total of 45
offset pushups with your
right hand on a box or step.
Rest for 5 minutes, and
then repeat with your left
hand on the step. Next,
do 15 single-leg squats
using your left leg. Rest for
2 minutes, and repeat with
your right leg.
YOUR GOAL
90 OFFSET PUSHUPS,
30 SINGLE-LEG SQUATS
BY LOU SCHULER, C.S.C.S.
I disappear when I turn sideways. How can I bulk up my torso? JOE, PORTLAND, ME
The straightest path to a 3D physique is to focus on your body’s biggest muscle groups,
especially your glutes and lats. And no exercise targets them better than the barbell deadlift,
says Mark Reifkind, owner of Girya Strength in Palo Alto, California.
Grab the bar just outside your legs, keeping your back naturally arched and chest up to maxi-
mize the move’s effectiveness. Start with 65 percent of your 1-rep max and work up to 85 percent
in your final sets. (Do 5 sets total, 5 reps per set.) “You’ll make the most progress and avoid most
problems in that range,” says Reifkind. Work hard, and you’ll never pull a disappearing act again.
For more workout tips and
total-body challenges, visit
MensHealth.com/fitness.
Single-Leg Squat
1 Stand on your left leg with your back to a bench or box
that’s about knee height. Extend your arms straight out in
front of your chest. Keep your torso as upright as possible.
2 Balancing on your left foot, slowly lower your body until
your butt touches the bench or box. Pause, and then push
yourself back up to the starting position.
Ofset Pushup
1 Assume a pushup position with your right hand on a
low box or step. Your toes should be close together, and your
body should form a straight line from ankles to head.
2 Brace your core and lower your body until your chest
nearly touches the floor. Pause, and then push back up to
the starting position as quickly as possible.
Lou Schuler, C.S.C.S., is the coauthor (with Alwyn Cosgrove) of The New Rules of Lifting Supercharged.
Additional boost in testosterone experienced
immediately after working out by men who
performed barbell squats instead of leg presses
Source: The Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research 17%
Muscle Challenge
58 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014

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62 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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The Rams unleashed a full-
court press to take an early
18-point lead. At that point
most teams would have let
up on the relentless pressure,
but VCU kept pouring it on.
LESSON Do something sur-
prising. “Successful under-
dogs play by different rules,”
says Morey. It’s the same in
business. If you call a client’s
office on Saturday, and he
answers, he’ll appreciate your
working on the weekend.
IN SOME WAYS WE’RE ALL UNDERDOGS. WHETHER
you’re an entrepreneur launching a startup in
your garage or a rookie salesman with no con-
tacts, plenty of competitors are gunning for you.
But as March Madness proves, once you earn
a spot on the court, victory is within reach. We
asked David Morey, coauthor of The Underdog
Advantage and a strategy consultant on Presi-
dent Obama’s winning 2008 campaign, to explain
what we can learn from the biggest upsets in
recent college hoops history. —MATT McCUE
Pull
Your Own
Upset
Every year, underdog teams
overcome low expectations
to topple the NCAA favorites.
What’s their secret?
WINNING MENTALITY
Sometimes a low seed is
actually an upper hand.
From the opening tip-off, the
Mountain Hawks played with
surprising aggression, forcing
turnovers and drawing hard
fouls. They beat Duke by 5.
LESSON Intimidation works.
“The top dog might not be
expecting a tough fight, but if
you keep attacking him, you
create confusion,” says Morey.
Example: a foot race. If you
throw in a few early surges,
you’ll make him think you’re
stronger than you really are.
To attack the strong-but-
slower Hoyas, the Eagles
ramped up the pace of the
game and clinched the win
with a 21-2 second-half run.
LESSON Play outside your
opponent’s comfort zone.
“You’ll pit your strengths
against their weaknesses,”
says Morey. Vying for a pro-
motion against talented col-
leagues? Beat them to the
office every day and speak
up more in big meetings.
2013 Florida Gulf Coast
(#15) makes Georgetown
(#2) uncomfortable
In both games, the Bulldogs
lost the lead with less than
six minutes to play. So they
ramped up the intensity,
shooting unexpected threes
and drawing fouls. The result?
A 12-2 run against Kansas
and 11-2 against Syracuse.
LESSON Never admit defeat.
Change your approach and
be aggressive instead. “Keep
your opponent reacting to
you instead of the other way
around,” says Morey.
2010 Butler (#5) over-
throws Kansas State (#2)
and Syracuse (#1)
Some said George Mason
shouldn’t have been included
in the tournament, and coach
Jim Larranaga used that dis-
respect to fire up his squad:
He told them UConn didn’t
even know what conference
George Mason was in! The
Patriots won in overtime.
LESSON Get pissed off. An
underdog with something to
prove is a formidable foe,
says Morey. “He’ll go further
to get what he wants.”
2006 George Mason (#11)
forces Connecticut (#1)
to show some respect
2012 Rather than submit,
Lehigh (#15) hits Duke (#2)
with all its muscle
2011 Virginia
Commonwealth (#11)
shocks Kansas (#1)
March Madness

FOR THE LOVE OF LEAVES
©2014 PURE LEAF is a trademark of the Unilever Group of Companies.

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64 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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I NTERVI EW BY LI L A BATTI S
THE JOY OF DATING
Once, on a date, a guy took Joy Bryant
to a parking lot to skateboard. Sound
like a bad idea? It wasn’t—she ended
up marrying him. And now she describes
a day at home like this: “We make
cocktails, talk shit.” What a lucky dude.
Even though she’s taken, you can still
check her out in NBC’s Parenthood
and her latest flick, About Last Night,
costarring Kevin Hart.
Five things you need
to know about women,
according to. . .
Joy
Bryant
Dressing too trendy is a turnoff.
“I know men who always wear T-shirts and
jeans and sneakers, and they look fresh.
You know what you like, you know what
looks good on you—so stick to that. Not
too many dudes can pull off skinny jeans.”
If you trash your ex, you look bad.
“There’s always that guy who says, ‘Oh,
that bitch is crazy.’ But dude, you dated
her! What are you doing that’s drawing all
those crazies? You’re the common
denominator. And you’re not crazy?”
We’d rather fight than fester.
“If you have something to say, speak up.
It doesn’t matter if she’s going to get
annoyed. Don’t put your relationship on
cruise control—there might be a turn, or
potholes, or rocks, or something like that.
Guys understand car references, right?”
Your girl is like a personal groomer.
“I have so many grooming products,
I’m like Sephora. There’s no reason why
you should have an itchy scalp or a dry
face. I have every cream you could possi-
bly need, so why are you walking around
with ashy skin? Let’s handle that.”
We wish you liked a little hair.
“Where did the whole landing strip,
Brazilian, waxing yourself to prepubes-
cence come from? I’m not asking you to
wax your balls! I used to go totally bare,
and I looked like a child. I’m not doing it
anymore. I’m not single, but if I was, I’d be
like, ‘Listen, you’re getting ’70s bush.’ ”
Women

YOUR
BREATH’S
FRIEND
ADDS A
TOUCH OF
YOUR LOOK.
COOL TO
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68 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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PHOTOGRAPHS BY VI CTOR PRADO
Jeans
They’re a go-to look
for every guy. And that’s
the problem: How do
you set yourself apart
from the herd?
A HUMBLE YOUTH, A REBELLIOUS
adolescence, and now years of easy
stability: You and American blue
jeans have a lot in common. Jeans
are the most democratic piece of
clothing in your closet, but the
so-called everyman pants don’t
look the same on every man—or
in every generation. Maybe Sein-
feld’s high-waisted jeans (and
high-top sneakers) were okay in
the ’90s, but they look dorky today.
President Obama, who’s worn
frumpy dad jeans in the past, has
learned the error of his sartorial
ways. With a little guidance, you
can do better too. —SANDRA NYGAARD
Rise Above the Fray
Buying jeans with whiskering
at the pockets, fading on the
legs, and a few minor abra-
sions is a convenient way to
avoid a long break-in period.
But if you opt for the dis-
tressed look, keep it minimal
and choose your scuffs
wisely, says Francine Rabi-
novich, founder of Denim
Therapy, a denim repair shop
in New York City. If the dam-
age is on areas that distress
naturally, such as knees and
back pockets, you’re in the
clear. But if it’s in odd places,
like the shins or thighs, it’ll
look fake. “It’s just so inau-
thentic,” says Rabinovich.
DON’T Be a Clean Freak
The less you launder frayed
and distressed denim, the
better. The processing that
creates the whiskering effect
and fading degrades the
integrity of the fabric, so your
jeans can wear out quickly
with excessive laundering.
And when you do wash them,
don’t toss them in a dryer
and further damage the
weakened fibers. Instead, turn
them inside out and air-dry
them flat, advises Rabinovich.
THE
RULES
AG JEANS, $225
Style


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70 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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ERNEST ALEXANDER BLAZER, $595
MARC BY MARC JACOBS SHI RT, $198
PRPS GOODS & CO. JEANS, $350
WALK-OVER SHOES, $275
THE TIE BAR POCKET SQUARE, $10
NAUTICA SHI RT, $90, AND JEANS, $45
CLARKS SHOES, $120
TOMS SUNGLASSES, $119
The Length of
Your Shirt Matters
Too short and it looks
like a crop top; too long
and nobody notices how
great your jeans fit. The
proper shirt should fall
around the top or mid-
dle of your back pocket,
says Durand Guion,
VP and men’s fashion
director at Macy’s.
DON’T Tuck and Run
For every shirt you own,
decide whether you
plan to wear it tucked.
If yes, leave it long. If
not, take it to a tailor.
Yes, You Should
Wear White Jeans
Just be sure to nail the
fit. “White isn’t slim-
ming, so the jeans
should be a little snug,”
says Guion. Then avoid
the bright, pastel, Miami
Vice look; rustic acces-
sories, like a chambray
shirt with suede desert
boots, look great.
DO Change Shades
If white seems too bold,
try sand-colored jeans.
They’re subtler, easier
to keep clean, and still
hipper than khakis.
Treat Your Jeans
Like Dress Pants
Yes, even your denim
deserves a trip to the
tailor, says Greg Sato, a
Los Angeles designer
and marketing man-
ager at Levi’s. “Jeans
can be dressed up,” he
says. But they won’t
look good unless they
fit you correctly.
DO Give It a Spin
Run your jeans through
a wash cycle before
having them altered.
They’re cotton, so they’ll
shrink slightly.
Or, Hell—Just
Cuff Them
Want to save a tailor’s
fee? Just roll the legs
up. But the trick only
works with selvedge or
otherwise stiff denim
that already fits great
in the waist. And the
legs should be narrow—
don’t even try it with
your boot-cut jeans.
DON’T Leg Out
An office-friendly cuff
just covers the top of
your shoe. If your socks
show before you sit, the
cuff is too high.
JACK SPADE CAMO
UTILITY BRIEF
Can a work bag really be cool?
The blue camouflage print on
this one says yes. Not only does
the bag improve on the dull
briefcase your dad used to carry,
but it features interior pockets
to organize your stuff, rugged
canvas to haul heavy loads, and
a rubber-latex hull to protect your
computer in case you carelessly
drop the bag in a puddle.
PICK YOUR CUFF
The Single
It’s quick and clas-
sic: Just fold up the
bottom 1½ inches
and crease it.
The Double
Fold it up 1 inch
and then give
it an extra roll.
Go higher for
a casual look.
The Messy Triple
Feeling leisurely?
Roll a half-inch
cuff, double it
over twice, and
leave it rumpled.
Want to buy these items? See page 159.
JACK SPADE BAG, $198
Style

Post-Workout
Shower Maximized
Morning workouts are fast, high-performance routines,
so keep your shower short and make those minutes work
for you.
‹  A watertight shaver like Gillette Fusion ProGlide
®
Styler
makes this daily task quicker while in the shower
‹   Take a brief retreat in the shower and wash yourself
in the fresh “scent hammock” of Old Spice Fiji
Body Wash
‹   Use a double-duty shampoo like Head & Shoulders
Active Sport 2 in 1 Shampoo
A D V E R T O R I A L
T
H
E

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Your active life
keeps you on your toes.
Tackle each day with
JVUÄKLUJL I` YLS`PUN VU 
trusted sources. These
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V\[ THRL H RPSSLY ÄYZ[ 
impression and be on
your best game anytime,
all the time.

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Make Business
Travel Personal
Being on the road is a necessary evil. Pack
a few personal effects to feel like you’re
right at home.
• Nix room service and bring your favorite
protein bars to keep your eating on track
• Pack the Oral-B
®
Deep Sweep
™
5000
electric toothbrush—personalize the
settings to get the clean you need
• Don’t bother with in-room products—
stock up on your favorite Crest tooth-
paste, Old Spice Deodorant and Gillette
shave prep in travel size
A D V E R T O R I A L
Classic Date Night
The “dinner and a movie” combo is a time-tested, no-fail
way to get close. Try these tips for a look that makes her
want to get even closer.
• 2LLW P[ JHZ\HS `L[ Z[`SPZO · ^LHY H KHYR Ä[[LK 
JHYKPNHU V]LY H JOLJRLYLK ÅHUULS ZOPY[" WHPYLK ^P[O 
dark denim jeans
• Get a super-clean shave with Gillette Fusion
ProGlide
®
Hydra Smooth Gel
• Trim, shave and edge your way to well-groomed
facial hair with the Gillette ProGlide
®
Styler

Gillette
ProGlide
®

Styler
Master your style
with one tool—
get a close,
comfortable shave
with the precision
you want to style
your facial hair
like a pro.
Head & Shoulders
Active Sport
2 in 1 Shampoo
Active Sport high-
performance for guys
on the go, has an
advanced formula for
manageable hair and
a cool, refreshed,
clean feeling.
Gillette Fusion
ProGlide
®

Hydra Gel
Super-moisturizing
with Shea Butter
and Glycerin, Fusion
ProGlide
®
helps
keep your skin
hydrated, increases
the glide and reduc-
es the look and feel
of shaving irritation.
T
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G
R
O
O
M
I
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G
Must-Haves
FOR EVERY GROOMI NG
ANGLE OF YOUR LI FE
Available at
A D V E R T O R I A L
Oral-B
Deep Sweep
™

5000 Electric
Toothbrush
Triple-action
deep-cleaning
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cleaning modes—
taking clean to a
new level.

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74 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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BY DAN MI CHEL
Reduction in ingrown hairs after
12 weeks when guys shaved just two
or three times a week
Source: Journal of Drugs in Dermatology
My ingrown toenails
hurt and look nasty.
Can I prevent them?
KYLE, PORTLAND, OR
You might just be trimming
your nails wrong, says Tony
Nakhla, D.O., author of The
Skin Commandments. “Clip
them straight across instead
of rounding them.” And if you
already feel pain, soften the
surrounding skin with a urea
cream, like Topix Urix 40 ($36,
amazon.com). Then bind the
nail tightly with tape. “You’re
forcing it down so it grows
flush with the nail bed,” says
Dr. Nakhla. Still hurting after
two days? See a doctor.
Why do my feet stink
and itch so bad after a
workout? It’s gross!
EVAN, VIRGINIA BEACH, VA
Your sweaty feet allow fungus
and bacteria to breed, says
Jeremy Green, M.D., a Miami
dermatologist. So have two
pairs of gym shoes and rotate
them to give each pair more
time to dry between workouts.
And before you put on socks
(clean ones, always!), shake
on a moisture-absorbing pow-
der with miconazole nitrate,
like Zeasorb Athlete’s Foot
($6, drugstore.com). “It’s more
effective than standard tal-
cum powder,” says Dr. Green.
My girlfriend likes my
scrotum clean-shaven.
Uh, how do I do that?
PHIL, DENVER, CO
Flatten the rounded surfaces,
says Michael Gilman, founder
of GroomingLounge.com.
First, buzz with a beard trim-
mer that has a quarter-inch
guard, and then apply a
shave oil or low-foam gel so
you can see your work. Pull
your sack down to smooth the
sides, and using a razor with
a guard, shave the perimeter
with short, downward strokes.
Pull it up to flatten and shave
the hull; then finish with lotion.
Now go show your girlfriend.
I brush twice a day,
but my teeth are still
yellow. What gives?
ROGER, BIRMINGHAM, AL
Brushing removes plaque
and prevents tooth decay, but
it doesn’t wash away yellow.
For that you need a dedicated
whitening treatment, says
Domenick Zero, D.D.S., director
of the Oral Health Research
Institute at Indiana University.
Your options include strips
or an in-office procedure. And
if you’re brushing hard in an
effort to scrub away the stains,
stop. You could be wearing
away the enamel and expos-
ing a darker part of the tooth.
Bacne is killing my
game at the beach.
How do I clear it up?
MATEO, LOS ANGELES, CA
Treat it with a salicylic acid or
benzoyl peroxide cleanser.
Neutrogena Body Clear body
wash ($6, drugstore.com) is
a good option, says Rachel
Pritzker, M.D., a dermatolo-
gist based in Chicago. And
if you’re really serious about
looking good shirtless, go
electric: Use an extension
handle with the Clarisonic
Plus ($225, clarisonic.com).
Its oscillating brush buffs
away dead cells so pimple-
free skin can regenerate.
Yes, You Can
Shave That
We asked readers to send us
their most gross and embarrassing
grooming questions. Then we
called in the experts.
53%
Grooming

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76 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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PHOTOGRAPH BY GREGORY MI LLER
Have you transformed your career, body,
or relationship? Tell us your story:
[email protected]
BIO
David Johnson, 39,
Suwanee, GA
JOB
Life insurance
agent
STARTING SALES
$50,000
CURRENT SALES
$500,000
TIME FRAME FOR
TURNAROUND
Less than a year
Work with
Purpose
Put in all the overtime
you want—without a
clear target, you’ll
never hit your mark.
Here’s what David
Johnson has learned
about getting ahead.
THINK BIG, ACT SMALL
Break large, long-term
goals into small weekly
tasks. If your boss
rewards creativity,
send in 15 ideas every
Wednesday. “If you’re
always looking to next
week, you’ll have con-
stant forward momen-
tum,” Johnson says.
IDENTIFY WHAT WORKS
The key to progress
and personal satis-
faction is to know what
you’re bad at, good
at, and great at. If you
focus only on your
weaknesses, you’ll
shore them up but still
be weak. So focus on
your best strengths.
ESTABLISH A SYSTEM
Many recurring prob-
lems can be solved by
creating procedures.
For instance, if you
often fall behind on
filing expense reports,
set a reminder to do
it every Tuesday at
2 p.m., whether or not
you really need to.
SHARPEN YOUR PITCH
Before a big meeting,
list your key talking
points, along with two
sentences to say about
each. “Ad libs are for
amateurs,” Johnson
says. Rehearse the
night before, and you’ll
have confidence in the
moment. —LILA BATTIS
Transformation
Ace Your Ofce Presentation
Say “I’m excited”to yourself before you begin. Speakers
who did this came off as more persuasive and confident.
Source: Journal of Experimental Psychology
Four Steps to
Six Figures
David Johnson was working
hard but falling short—until he
learned to focus on his goals.
IT WAS ALWAYS MY DREAM TO WORK
at my family’s insurance agency,
and after college, I joined the sales
force. At first things were great.
But when we lost a big account, my
clientele dried up overnight. And
I had no clue how to rebuild it.
Over the next three months I
made only $800 in commissions.
I was constantly cold-calling poten-
tial clients, with no luck. So one
day I just broke down crying, telling
my dad I hated the job. I was failing.
That was a turning point for me;
I knew I needed a new approach. I
needed concrete goals.
I made a profile of my ideal cli-
ent and reached out to my contacts
to target people like that. For the
first time, I was working smart. My
sales picked up within a week. The
next year, I was invited to join an
industry group for top salespeople.
I’ve realized there are two things
everybody wants: more money and
more free time. I’m lucky enough
to have earned both. My life is bal-
anced, I no longer spend my days
cold-calling people, and I’m happy.

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Spring-Load Your Pasta
Gather the season’s freshest vegetables to make
primo pasta primavera. BY PAUL KITA
THIS MONTH’S EXPERT
You know Mario Batali.
He’s the chef at numerous
Italian restaurants; a cohost
on ABC’s The Chew; and a
co-owner of Eataly, a market
with locations in New York
City and Chicago.
A
Prep the Produce
The sauce will cook quickly, so be
sure to prep your ingredients before
firing up the stove.
Thinly slice 3 garlic cloves.
Peel 2 medium carrots, halve them
lengthwise, and slice them into ¼-inch-
thick semicircles.
Thinly slice ¼ pound trimmed cremini
mushrooms.
Slice ½ pound trimmed asparagus on
the diagonal; reserve the tips separately.
Measure out 1 cup fresh or thawed peas.
Thinly slice the white parts of
4 scallions.
B
Simmer Your Sauce
In a big pot, start bringing 6 quarts of
water with 3 tablespoons of kosher salt
to a boil. In a large skillet on medium
high, heat ¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil
until shimmering. Add the garlic and
cook, stirring, until just golden, 1 to 2
minutes. Lower the heat to medium;
add the carrots and cook, stirring occa-
sionally, until they’re slightly soft, about
4 minutes. Toss in the mushrooms,
cook 3 minutes, and add the aspara-
gus (except tips) and cook 2 minutes.
Add the peas, scallions, and asparagus
tips; season with salt and pepper. Cook
until the vegetables are just tender,
about 2 minutes; remove from heat.
C
Use Your Noodles
Pasta can turn gummy if it sits too
long, so plan on cooking it after you’ve
finished the sauce. Add 1 pound
penne rigate to the boiling water and
cook until it’s just al dente, about
1 minute less than the cooking time
specified on the package. Reserve
about ½ cup of the pasta water and
then drain the pasta in a colander.
D
Put It All Together
You’ll lose out on flavor if you just
scoop the sauce on top. Instead, add
the pasta and ¼ cup of the pasta
water to the vegetables, stirring and
tossing everything over medium heat
until mixed. Cover, reduce the heat to
low, and wait about 2 minutes for the
flavors to meld. Then stir in 2 table-
spoons of olive oil, another splash or
two of the pasta water, and ⅓ cup
each of coarsely chopped fresh Italian
parsley and basil. Serve topped with
freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano.
Makes 6 servings, but if your crew
isn’t that big, no worries—the leftovers
are great, either reheated or cold.
PLATE PASTA PERFECTLY
If you’re serving classic
spaghetti or linguine, we
endorse tongs. They grip
better than pasta servers
do, and as a presentation
trick, you can twirl the
noodles onto the plate to
build an attractive tower
instead of a sloppy pile.
Use This. . .
Don’t Use This!
Guy Gourmet
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PHOTOGRAPHS BY CHARLES MASTERS 78 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014

Whether you’re considering clear aligners, retainers or today’s braces, an orthodontist
is the smart choice. Orthodontists are specialists in straightening teeth and aligning
your bite. They have two to three years of education beyond dental school. So they’re
experts at helping you get a great smile — that feels great, too.
Go to www.mylifemysmile.org to find an orthodontist near you or ask your
dentist for a referral.
“I smile a lot now just to show off.”
— Daniel, 29
© 2014 American Association of Orthodontists.

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MOLTO
AWESOME!
Make Your
Pasta Tops
A hit of crispy,
crunchy texture
can add a pleas-
ant contrast to
silky sauces and
al dente pasta,
Batali says. Try
his two simple
topping sugges-
tions to take your
pasta experience
to the next level.
LARDONS
Heat a large non-
stick sauté pan on
medium and add
1 pound of thick-
cut bacon, cut into
1-inch squares.
(Batali recommends
duck bacon if you
can find it.) Cook
until the fat is
rendered and the
bacon is crispy, 6 to
8 minutes. Transfer
the bacon squares
to a plate lined with
paper towels to
absorb excess fat.
BREAD
CRUMBS
Preheat the oven
to 325°F. Tear a
baguette into hunks
and pulse them in
a food processor
until coarse. Scatter
the crumbs on a
baking sheet and
toast until golden
brown, 5 to 7 min-
utes, stirring once.
The Best Olive Oils
You should check two things to
make sure your oil is fresh, says
Alexandra Devarenne, an olive oil
expert. One is harvest date
(more recent is better) or “best
before” date (later is better). The
second is the smell—if you catch
a whiff of crayons, stale nuts, or
putty, the oil is rancid. We tested
28 varieties to find the ones that
taste best when fresh. These two
piqued our testers’ tastebuds.
Best for Cooking
CALIFORNIA
OLIVE RANCH
EVERYDAY EXTRA
VIRGIN OLIVE OIL
$13 for 500 ml, california
oliveranch.com
Our tasters loved the
oil’s bright yet subtle
flavor. And the green
bottle helps block out
light, so the oil won’t
turn rancid prematurely,
says Devarenne.
Best for Finishing
LUCERO THREE
STAR BLEND
CERTIFIED EXTRA
VIRGIN OLIVE OIL
$16 for 500 ml,
lucerooliveoil.com
The mild, grassy flavor
makes this an excellent
option for constructing
salad dressings or driz-
zling over pasta. And
you can count on qual-
ity: Lucero’s oils are
certified extra virgin by
the California Olive Oil
Council and tested to
ensure that they meet
standards for optimal
flavor and acidity.
SKIP THE RINSE CYCLE
Running noodles under the
faucet? Bad idea. As the
pasta cooks, starch granules
swell with water until they
burst, releasing sticky starch
molecules that cling to the
pasta, says Robert Wolke,
Ph.D., author of What Einstein
Told His Cook. “Rinsing
washes off the starch,
creating a nonstick surface,
so sauce will slide right off.”
So after you’ve drained your
pasta, stir it immediately into
the still-cooking sauce.
Tomato Sauce, Two Ways
This time of year, scoring peak-season tomatoes is almost
impossible—you’ll have to wait until late summer for those. But
other tomato options are available year-round, Batali says.
Canned Tomatoes
In a large pot, heat 3 table-
spoons of olive oil on medium
until it’s shimmering. Add
4 large, thinly sliced garlic
cloves and cook them until
they’re lightly golden, 1 to
2 minutes. Add 2 cups of
canned diced tomatoes to
the pot and then reduce the
heat to medium low. Keep
cooking and stirring until the
flavors meld, 5 minutes or so.
Cherry Tomatoes
First, cook 1 pound of pasta.
Then combine 1 pound of
quartered cherry tomatoes
in a large pot with ¼ cup
of reserved pasta water. Bring
to a simmer over medium-
high heat and season with
a pinch each of sugar and sea
salt. Add the pasta, stir, and
toss until well coated. Then
mix in ⅓ cup of extra-virgin
olive oil and serve.
1 2
CHERRY BOMBS
You can make a
fresh tomato sauce
in mere minutes.
Guy Gourmet
80 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014

*Average amount of cholesterol in one egg is 185 mg, down from 215 mg. Brought to you by America’s egg farmers.
Eggs have high
-
quality protein to keep you
fuller longer and energized all day long.
And they’re also 14% lower in cholesterol.

I LLUSTRATI ON BY DAN MATUTI NA
Are You
Aging
Too Fast?
Your body is a masterpiece,
so you need to take care
of it. With proper restoration,
it can be an ageless classic.
BY JULIE STEWART

43
Words Become Blurry Up Close
Hold this page out at arm’s length. If you’re
over 40 and need to squint to read it, you may
have presbyopia, a condition resulting from the
loss of elasticity in your eyes’ lenses, says
Dennis Levi, O.D., Ph.D., a professor at UC Berkeley.
PROTECT YOURSELF
Again—wear shades. Sunglasses rated to block
99 to 100 percent of UVA and UVB rays and absorb
UV up to 400 nanometers can help prevent eye
damage. And if you’re struggling on your
computer, increase the font size. Every
2.8-point jump makes tasks seem
8 percent easier, say UC
Berkeley scientists.
45
Age Spots First Appear
Look at the back of your left hand, which
receives extra sun while you drive. See brown or
white patches? Those indicate damaged pigment-
producing cells, which are reproducing too much,
says MH dermatology advisor Adnan Nasir, M.D., Ph.D.
PROTECT YOURSELF
Whether you see age spots or not, apply an SPF 30
product every morning to all your exposed skin —
even your arms—to help prevent skin cancer.
If you want to lighten existing spots, use a
product with kojic acid, like La-Roche
Posay Mela-D Serum ($53,
soap.com).
65
Joint Pain Sets In
If your hands, knees, or hips hurt after
exercise, you may have osteoarthritis, the
breakdown of cartilage between bones.
PROTECT YOURSELF
Hit the gym. Overweight or obese people are
nearly three times as likely to have osteoarthritis
in the knee, the most common spot for older
people. Already in pain? Try unloaded exer-
cises, such as seated knee extensions.
Japanese researchers found that
these may be best for
reducing joint pain.
27
Muscle Mass May
Start to Decline
After this age, men can lose
3½ pounds of muscle per decade,
according to a Portuguese study.
PROTECT YOURSELF
Twenty grams of whey protein after
lifting can boost muscle gains
49 percent, say U.K.
researchers.
82 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
69
Hearing Needs Assistance
The high frequencies that sharpen
speech drop out first, so people with hear-
ing loss tend to think others are not speaking
clearly, says Pamela Souza, Ph.D., CCC-A, a
professor at Northwestern University.
PROTECT YOURSELF
Keep headphones below half volume.
Listening to an iPod nano for an hour
at just 50 percent can temporarily
damage your ears, Belgian
researchers found.
35
Crow’s-Feet Emerge
Your skin’s collagen is breaking down—from
either smiling or squinting. If it’s the latter, watch
out: “There’s a good chance that people with pre-
mature crow’s-feet from squinting in sunlight
are headed toward future facial skin cancer,” says
Neal Schultz, M.D., a Manhattan dermatologist.
PROTECT YOURSELF
Wear sporty wraparound sunglasses during
outdoor activities like hiking or yard work,
says Joel L. Cohen, M.D., a dermatological
surgeon based in Colorado. “And
apply sunscreen daily, even
for your commute.”
CHECKUP IN THE PRODUCE AISLE
Every 7 grams of fiber (about two bananas) in your
daily diet can cut your heart disease risk 9 percent.
Source: BMJ
AGE
AGE
AGE
AGE
AGE
AGE
Health

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RESISTS
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The choice is clear. GLARE?
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and the 25 E-SPF design are registered trademarks of Essilor of America, Inc. E-SPF is a global index developed by Essilor, endorsed by independent third parties,
measuring the lens’ UV protection excluding direct eye exposure from around the lens. E-SPF of 25 means the wearer is 25 times more protected than without any
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84 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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BY LI L A BATTI S
Let’s say you have $1,400
to spend on your trip. After
booking transit, lodging, and
excursions—plus budgeting
for meals and souvenirs—you
should have about $200 left.
Unforeseen expenses do
come up, says Matt Kepnes,
author of How to Travel the
World on $50 a Day. You may
need an $80 cab ride to
reach your rappelling desti-
nation, or find that $40 will
upgrade you to a suite with a
balcony and a view. Budget
now, and you’ll avoid stress-
ing in the moment.
It’ll take you that long to
completely unwind, accord-
ing to a 2013 Dutch study.
The researchers found that
people’s reported feelings
of health and well-being
peaked just after a week
away, when they’d fully transi-
tioned out of work mode.
And while you’re away,
you can increase your happi-
ness even more by allowing
yourself time for serious
relaxation. Low-key activities,
such as reading in a ham-
mock or lounging in a hot tub,
were most strongly linked to
improved mood, energy, and
stress levels—and the benefits
lasted beyond the vacation.
Conquer jet lag with mela-
tonin, the hormone that regu-
lates the sleep cycle. Taken as
a supplement, melatonin can
help your body sync with the
light-dark cycle at your desti-
nation, a Greek study found.
If you’re traveling across
six or fewer time zones, take
one dose the day before
your trip when it’s about 10
p.m. in your arrival city. If
you’re crossing seven or more
zones, take a dose daily for
up to three days before flying.
Once en route, avoid caffeine
and eat only when it’s meal-
time at your destination.
The guy who travels with a
full itinerary and a guidebook
stuffed into his fanny pack
isn’t really experiencing his
vacation. He’s just checking
tourist traps off his list.
“If you plan every sec-
ond, you’ll be stressed,” says
Kepnes. “Travel is about
the unknown.” That means
exploring when you stumble
upon something interesting,
and relaxing when you find
a lunch café you wish you
could bring home with you.
So don’t plan out more than
half of each day—a couple
of two-hour activities or a sin-
gle four-hour activity is plenty.
49 days
Amount of lead time
you need to snag a
good domestic airfare
15 percent
Portion of your budget
you should set aside
for unexpected costs
8 days
Minimum amount of
time you need to block
out for a real vacation
5 milligrams
Dosage of melatonin
to take the day before
you cross time zones
2 events
Maximum number
of excursions to plan
for each day away
Make a Vacation Count
There’s a science to planning the easiest, cheapest, and most relaxing vacation of your life.
Heading to Higher Ground?
Cut your altitude sickness risk: Pop 600 mg ibuprofen six
hours before ascent and again every six hours for a day.
Source: Annals of Emergency Medicine
Fares hit lows around seven
weeks before you fly, reports
CheapAir.com. For travel
abroad, the sweet spot is 81
days out. “Most airlines begin
selling tickets 11 months
before a flight but don’t seri-
ously discount until you’re
within four months,” says
CheapAir.com CEO Jeff Klee.
“So booking too early is often
as bad as booking too late.”
The exception: If you’re
planning a getaway around a
holiday or a massive desti-
nation event, like Mardi Gras
in New Orleans or New Year’s
Eve in New York City, book
your trip as early as possible.
CHILL IN THE AIR
Hang time can be
healthy time.
Travel

GI VE ME STRENGTH
WOR KOUT
+
P R OT E I N
=
S T R E NGT H
TO DRIVE THE LANE
TO MAKE THE THREE
TO DOMINATE
STEPHEN CURRY | All-Star Point Guard
©2014 CytoSport, Inc. MUSCLEMILK.COM W
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I LLUSTRATI ON BY MARK TODD
Best Spring Drink You’ve Never Tasted: Americano
Mix 1½ oz Campari and 1½ oz sweet vermouth and top
with club soda. Add a lemon twist if you want.
Source: Leo Robitschek, bar manager at Eleven Madison Park, NYC
Follow Jimmy’s tips
on Twitter:
@MensHealthJimmy
in a normal tone, and probe for parallels between
your life and his. Share something personal—like a
story about your childhood sweetheart—and ask him
if he ever had a similar experience. Is your roommate
an ugly drunk? Uncle Earl probably knew a guy like
that once, and he’ll be happy to give advice. Once you
two hit on common ground, he’ll open up and you’ll
look like the nice guy you are. —LILA BATTIS
How to Talk to an Old Person
Sure, Uncle Earl may be as old as dirt, but that doesn’t
mean the two of you can’t get on like best buds. The
first rule: Don’t be patronizing. Older people don’t
want to be talked to like children. “It can often be
unconscious, but if you’re aware of it, you can adjust,”
says Becca Levy, Ph.D., an associate professor of psy-
chology at the Yale School of Public Health. So speak
THE MANLY
ARTS
My boss wants to move me to
a cube to give the new senior
hire my office. Can I fight this?
JAY, CORAL SPRINGS, FL
Brother, you’ve been screwed, but you’ll look like a jerk
if you put up a fight about pecking order. So make lem-
onade out of this. Before you pack up, remind your boss
that you work your ass off and say you feel you deserve
some other compensation. With any luck, you’ll find out
exactly what you need to do to earn your next raise.
My girlfriend has
signed us up for
couples yoga. I can
beg off, right?
ANDY, BOULDER, CO
Hmm...let me see if I
understand your prob-
lem. Your girl wants to
put on a tight, stretchy
outfit and pose in front
of you—and you’re com-
plaining? Not feeling
your pain here, Andy.
Is yoga manly? Beats
me. Doesn’t matter. She
wants to do something
with you, and the ripple
effect is likely to carry
into the bedroom. So go
for a couple of classes
and try to keep an open
mind. If you really don’t
like yoga after that, then
suggest something
else. But don’t just turn
her down flat without
giving it a fair shot.
At a work dinner,
I made an awkward
joke that killed the
conversation. I still
feel like an idiot.
Anything I can do?
CHUCK, HENDERSON, NV
Sure, plenty, Chuck!
You could e-mail apolo-
gies to everyone. You
could tell your boss you
can’t be trusted around
booze. Or you could for-
get about it—because
I’m telling you, everyone
else has. And bringing it
up now will just remind
them what a bonehead
you are. We all tend to
mentally replay our own
screwups, but unless
you picked a fight,
you’re just another guy
who did a dumb thing
nobody cares about or
remembers. Just move
on, and next time, think
a little before you speak.
When my room-
mate travels, I have
to watch his dog.
What’s my out?
JOE, ALBUQUERQUE, NM
Tell him you have plans:
You’re working late, you
might call a girl, you
want to watch a Die
Hard marathon, you
have to floss. Whatever.
Unless you stand up for
yourself, you’re stuck
holding the leash. Some
battles are easily won,
and this is one of them.
The dog is his respon-
sibility, and he knows it.
And I bet some neigh-
bor kid would be happy
to walk that pooch for
a few bucks a day.
My sister, who has
a short fuse, asked
me if I’d teach her
to drive stick shift.
I see screaming in
my future. Do I really
have to do this?
ERIC, WICHITA, KS
No, but you’ll be a saint
if you try. Just estab -
lish some rules of the
road beforehand. Don’t
accuse her of a crime
she hasn’t committed
yet, but say something
like: “Sis, I love you, but
shifting gears can be
tricky. So if I start to lose
it or you start snapping,
we’ll have to find you
a new teacher.” Then
hold up your end of the
bargain—and steer for
home the minute she
stops holding up hers.
Our anniversary is
coming, and my wife
always likes to go
big. I’d rather dial it
down, but how?
GLENN, DAVENPORT, IA
You’re right, in a way:
An anniversary doesn’t
have to be a big produc-
tion. It’s less about the
white-tablecloth din-
ner and more about a
nice, thoughtful toast—
doesn’t matter whether
you raise champagne
or iced tea. But think
about this, pal: When,
other than your anniver-
sary, do you take her on
nice dates? My guess
is not often, which is why
she wants to do it up. So
be a gentleman: Every
girl deserves a little
class, and this is one of
the few times she can
talk you into putting on a
suit and hitting the town.
Guy Wisdom
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86 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014


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April 2014 | MENSHEALTH.COM 89
L
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EDI TED BY PAUL KI TA
Win a Bar Bet—and Wow the Crowd!
Put a couple of brews on your pal’s tab with these foolproof bar bets from Brian Brushwood, author of
Scam School and host of a show by the same name on the online TestTube network.
Make Jim Halpert proud on April
Fools’ with this five-second office
prank: First, empty a colleague’s
hand sanitizer. Then fill it back up
with lube. Wait for the hand-wringing
hilarity to ensue. And whatever you
do, don’t let your victim see “Boost
Your Brainstorm” in this section
while he’s dreaming up his revenge.
THIS MONTH
The Shot Block
BET THIS You can swig
two full pints of
beer before your
friend can drink two
measly shots.
DO THIS Order all four
drinks and align them
on the bar. Explain
the rules: Neither
one of you can touch
each other’s drink
glasses. Your friend
also can’t begin his
shots until after
you’ve finished your
first drink and set
your glass down.
Start on your first
pint, drinking as
slowly as you like.
Just before you fin-
ish, remind him of
the rules. Turn your
empty pint glass
upside down and set
it on the table over
his other shot glass.
Casually finish your
second beer.
The Whiskey Rebellion
BET THIS You can turn
a shot of water into a
shot of whiskey.
DO THIS Ask the bar-
tender to fill each
of two shot glasses
to the rim: one water,
one whiskey. Lay a
business card on
top of the shot of
water. With your hand
securing the card
to the shot glass,
slowly flip the glass
upside down and set
it directly above
the shot of whis-
key. Slowly slide the
card out until a crack
opens between the two
glasses and the less-
dense whiskey begins
to migrate upward.
The Dime-Drop Deception
BET THIS You can drop a dime, suspended above
a beer bottle with only a toothpick, into the
bottle. And you’ll accomplish this feat with-
out touching the bottle, toothpick, or dime.
DO THIS Fold a toothpick in half, making a V,
and then rest it on the mouth of the bottle so
the toothpick is parallel to the table. Then
carefully place a dime on top of the folded
toothpick so it rests slightly off center over
the mouth of the beer bottle.
Now slowly drip a few drops of water onto
the fold in the toothpick. The water will
gradually cause the wood to expand, making
the toothpick spread outward and allowing the
dime to drop into the bottle.
Remember: You lose valuable points if your
beer bottle isn’t empty.

All images were shot by Jamie Betts
us|ng an O|ympus OM-D. Jam|e |s a
R|chmond, vA-based fne art, commer-
c|a| and ed|tor|a| photographer. H|s fne
art photography takes h|m a|| over the
country photograph|ng urban and rura|
scenery. ln the spr|ng, he concentrates
on severe weather photography wh||e
storm chas|ng.
P E OP L E
MOT I ON L OW L I GH T
The way you photograph peop|e can
commun|cate a |ot about your subject.
Th|s shot a||ows the subject`s sweet
and fun persona||ty to sh|ne through,
set aga|nst a beaut|fu| soft background
to rea||y he|p her s||houette pop.

Pro T|p: Pa|r the portra|t mode w|th a
75mm 1.8 |ens for the best resu|ts.
Photograph|ng peop|e or mov|ng
|mages requ|res pat|ence and accu-
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work for you, shoot|ng 8 frames per
second at fu|| reso|ut|on. My photos
are sharp as a tack and l can capture
every moment of the scene unfo|d|ng
|n front of me.
Pro t|p: Üse the h|gh-speed cont|n-
uous shoot|ng sett|ng to capture the
moment as a c|ear, cr|sp |mage.
D|m|y ||t scenes are often best captured
w|thout a fash. Th|s camera has a
state-of-the-art sensor that a||owed
me to capture a h|gh-qua||ty |mage
w|th amaz|ng deta||, even at n|ght.
Pro T|p: Ohoose the P(\[V sett|ng and
the camera w||| p|ck the best sens|t|v|ty
and shutter speed for your scene.
O A P T Ü R E
Y OÜ R N E × T
A D v E N T Ü R E
lns|der t|ps from
photographer Jam|e Betts
so you can shoot ||ke a pro
ADVERT I SEMENT
The OM-D E-M10 |s the newest camera to jo|n O|ympus`s acc|a|med OM-D ser|es. W|th a top-notch |mage sensor and
processor, rap|d autofocus, W|F| and a profess|ona|-grade M.ZÜlKO |ens system, the new E-M10 packs a |ot of punch |nto
a s|eek and compact case. Th|s portab|e camera can capture pro-sty|e shots wh||e you`re on the go.
V|s|t geto|ympus.com/em10 to |earn more.

Move into a New World
lmage shot with the Olympus OM-D
with the M.Zuiko 45mm f/1.8 lens by
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The revolutionary OM-D family
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With a powerful image sensor and processor,
fast autofocus, and a wide-variety of M.Zuiko
lenses, the F-M10 can capture crisp, clear
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92 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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5-SECOND TIP
GAUGE YOUR GAS
NOT SURE HOW MUCH PROPANE
IS LEFT IN YOUR GRILL TANK?
MICROWAVE A CUP OF WATER
FOR ABOUT TWO MINUTES OR
UNTIL IT STARTS TO BUBBLE.
THEN POUR THE HOT WATER
DOWN THE SIDE OF THE TANK.
RUN YOUR HAND OVER THE
WET METAL; THE WARM PART
OF THE TANK IS EMPTY, AND
THE COOL PART IS FULL.
BLACK TOENAIL
Prevent irritation by lift-
ing the shoe’s toe box.
Lace the bottom pair
of holes as usual, but
make the outer sec-
tion of lace twice as
long as it is on the inner
side. Bring the shorter
piece from the inside
through the top hole
on the shoe’s oppo-
site side. Pull the longer
piece up through the
next hole on the oppo-
site side. Then bring it
down through the hole
across from it. Repeat
the process with the
remaining holes.
SQUISHED TOES
Alleviate pressure by
freeing up more room
for your feet to move
inside your running
shoes. As you lace
each shoe, skip the
bottom pair of holes
(the ones nearest to
your toes); instead,
start threading the lace
at the second pair of
holes. Then lace the
remaining holes
upward toward your
ankle, using the same
pattern and tightness
that you would normally
use to securely tie
your running shoes.
HEEL BLISTER
Make the shoe more
snug around your
ankle. Lace all of the
holes except for the set
located closest to your
ankle. Thread one end
of the lace through the
next hole on the same
side of the shoe, leav-
ing enough slack in the
lace to form a small
loop. Repeat the pro-
cess on the other side
of the shoe. Bring each
lace through the loop
on the opposite side.
Pull to tighten, and then
tie the shoes as you
normally would.
LACE UP FOR LESS PAIN
Blisters and bunions can thwart even your best-intentioned spring
training efforts. Matthew Werd, D.P.M., a triathlete and podiatrist based
in Lakeland, Florida, helps you adjust your shoe-tying technique to
ease common foot-related woes.
Erase aBlackEye
Control swelling, promote healing, and appear like less of an animal
with this plan from Gary Dorshimer, M.D. As head team physician for the
Philadelphia Flyers, this doc has treated his share of shiners.
A. COOL I T! Apply a cold compress to slow bloodflow and
curb swelling. Grab a bag of cold (not frozen) peas or a
cold, damp washcloth. Hold the compress to your eye
for five minutes, break for 20 minutes, and repeat until
swelling stops. Use the compress for a five-minute session
three or four times a day.
B. POP THE CAP For pain relief in pill form, stick to acet-
aminophen (Tylenol). Avoid anti-inflammatories, such
as aspirin or ibuprofen, for the first 24 hours. They
could thin your blood, resulting in more swelling.
C. PUT GRAVI TY TO WORK The black and blue happens
because fluid doesn’t drain properly. Put an extra pillow
under your head at night. The elevation eases swelling
and prevents blood from pooling around your eye socket.
D. TURN UP THE HEAT After 48 hours, switch to a warm,
moist compress. Heat increases circulation, drawing
white blood cells to the site to help repair tissue. Apply
the compress, 10 minutes at a time, as often as you want.
E. PUT YOUR FI NGER ON I T Massage around the bruise—
very gently—with your fingertips. This can reduce
swelling by draining fluid and increasing circulation.

South Beach Triathlon is the perfect short course challenge for athletes of all kinds – all set against
the gorgeous backdrop of South Beach, Miami. Again, we’ve partnered with St. Jude Children’s
Research Hospital to fight against childhood cancer and other deadly diseases. Helping is easy.
Register, and join the fight to raise funds for the kids of St. Jude.
S O U T H B E A C H T R I A T H L O N . C O M
,
©
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Proud national supporter

Check out our website at MENSHEALTH.COM/INSIDEOUT for the latest event and promotion updates.
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April 2014 | MENSHEALTH.COM 95
Turn a Pallet into a PatioChair
Matt Blashaw, host of DIYNetwork’s Yard Crashers, transforms a shipping pallet into an Adirondack chair.
1 large shipping pallet
with 2 center support
beams (stringers)
Circular saw, or
reciprocating saw
with bimetal blade
Cat’s-paw nail puller
24 coated deck
screws (2")
Cordless drill with
bit set and Phillips
bit driver set
Hammer
2 carriage bolts (5")
with nuts and washers
Orbital sander
Exterior-grade
solid stain, or primer
and paint
WHAT
YOU’LL
NEED
PICK FLOWERS
SHE’LL LOVE
When dealing with
women, flowers are your
best buds. We asked
more than 350 women
which flowers they’d
want for different occa-
sions. Then we checked
in with Kate Law, head
floral designer at
ProFlowers, for some
creative upgrades.
Come Up Roses
When women are looking for
romance—for Valentine’s Day,
say—red roses win out every
time. But that’s not to say you
can’t still surprise her.
THE UPGRADE Instead of
cheap-looking baby’s breath,
supplement her bouquet with
green Fuji mums, and choose
pink roses over expected red.
Slip Her the ’Lips
Women we polled said they’d
like to receive tulips for an
accomplishment, such as a
promotion. Tulips are simple
but thoughtful, says Law.
THE UPGRADE Tulips are
elegant. Law suggests show-
casing them in a glass vase,
with the stems cut so the flow-
ers rest just above the lip.
Seek Out Lily
Lilies ranked high on birth-
day lists. They’re celebratory
blooms, Law says.
THE UPGRADE For a classic
look, go with a solid bouquet
of one color—and ask for
tango lilies. They have bursts
of color throughout their
petals, which give them a
unique, sophisticated appeal.
Wait Awhile
There’s one time when a
woman probably doesn’t
want you to give her flowers:
the first date. While you may
think the offer is thoughtful
and surprising, most women
will think you’re just trying too
hard. The vast majority of
women we asked advised
arriving without a bouquet.
1/ PICK YOUR PALLET
Ask a furniture store or
supermarket for a spare pal-
let. If the place lets you
root around, find one without
cracked or busted slats. Make
sure the slats are evenly
spaced and that all the nails
are flush and unbroken.
2/ MAKE YOUR CUTS
Using the saw, cut the slats
along the inside edge of one
center stringer. The skinnier
section will be the seat.
3/ ASSEMBLE THE PIECES
Trim the slats on the larger
section so it will fit inside
the width of the seat to
form the chair’s back. Use
the cat’s-paw to remove the
stringer from the scrap piece
you just cut. Use deck screws
to secure the stringer to the
chair’s back. Carefully ham-
mer off all but five of the
slats from the back and all
but four from the seat.
4/ BUILD THE CHAIR
Form a V with the two pieces;
drill holes where the string-
ers cross. Secure the seat
on both sides using carriage
bolts, washers, and nuts.
Attach leftover slats to the
seat for front legs. Trim
back legs to adjust recline.
5/ DO IT UP IN STYLE
Sand your chair with an
orbital sander. Stain it with
exterior-grade solid stain,
or prime and paint it.

96 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
1/ SAVOR THE SEASON
Your chilly fridge sucks the
spark out of the seasoning
in yesterday’s meal. Always
reseason before reheating.
You can also deploy addi-
tional ingredients to fix
other leftover problems. Dry
mashed potatoes? Add a splash
of buttermilk. Bland soup?
Squeeze in tangy lemon juice.
2/ BEAT THE REHEAT
Think of leftovers as ingre-
dients to build from instead
of meals to eat again. So
don’t just reheat steak and
asparagus; chop them up and
add them to a frittata. Other
options: Use chili as a hot
dog topper, or add roast
chicken or sautéed shrimp to
a pizza or pasta sauce.
3/ AVOID A NUKE
If possible, reheat foods
that have a crisp or seared
texture in a pan lightly
coated with canola oil. The
pan will add caramelization
and marry flavors. Set the
heat to medium—any hotter and
you risk overcooking.
LivenUp
Leftovers
Food Network star Alton Brown
extends the life span of the stuff
in your Tupperware.
IF YOU NEED TO
MICROWAVE. . .
4/ SKIP THE TUB
Plastic containers, which
have little surface area, are
a poor choice for reheating
leftovers. Use a big serv-
ing plate instead, and tailor
your heating strategy to your
portion. Full plate? Nuke for
60 seconds on high and stir.
For less, nuke 30 seconds.
5/ SEAL AND WHEEL!
Cover your plate with a layer
of BPA-free plastic wrap to
create steam, which will pre-
vent your food from drying
out. Microwaves tend to have
a “blind spot” in the cen-
ter that can cause haphaz-
ard heating, so set your dish
slightly off center. This
helps even with microwaves
that have a turntable.
Boost Your Brainstorm
Dry-erase boards and neon-lit conference rooms are idea graveyards.
Turbocharge your next brainstorm with these four tested alternatives.
SLEEP ON I T At Buffer, a social media startup, napping
isn’t just tolerated but encouraged. Mark Batey, Ph.D.,
who studies the psychology of creativity, says naps allow
ideas to incubate. At rest, your brain can connect ideas
in complex ways, he says. Budget for a 20-minute snooze.
DI STRACT YOURSELF Software company SendGrid gives
employees time-wasters, such as video games, darts,
and beer. Josh Ashton, SendGrid’s director of people,
says this busts routine and promotes creativity. No toys
allowed? Challenge a colleague to Words with Friends.
SCHEDULE A DEADLI NE Emmy winner Allison Silverman
has written for The Colbert Report and The Daily Show
and says she never waits for inspiration. “When I have
limits, even if it’s just a time limit, I can find really cre-
ative ways to tackle a problem.” Set a timer and go!
FI ND A NOVI CE When Alaina G. Levine, president of
Quantum Success Solutions, hits a rut, she asks some-
one outside her field. Think: “If I didn’t have X skill or Y
experience, how would this problem look?”

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how we get sick,
why we stay sick,
and how we can recover
Scan here or visit bit.ly/TotalRecovery
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For the nearly 100 million Americans who live
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98 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
BE READY
TO ROLL
SOMETIMES IT’S TOUGH TO LOOK AS GOOD IN THE OFFICE AS YOU DID WHEN YOU FIRST LEFT THE HOUSE.
Problems inevitably arise en route—you’re sitting in a car, crammed into a bus, pedaling a bike. And that’s
bad news: A disheveled appearance could put a wrinkle in your career prospects, a study by the Center
for Talent Innovation found. In fact, three out of four execs said that noticeable apparel blunders, the
kind that can happen in transit, detract from a man’s “executive presence.” A polished look, on the other
hand, “shows that you respect yourself and the people you’re interacting with,” says Mark Stephanz,
a vice chairman at Bank of America Merrill Lynch. Try these options designed for men on the move.
The Bike
Commute
More people are pedal-
ing to work these days—
about 6 percent of the
population, the U.S.
Census Bureau reports.
These three upgrades,
featuring breathable,
water-resistant fabrics,
will prevent the CEO
from mistaking you for
the pizza delivery guy.
2/ YOUR SHIRT
This polo is a bicycle
commuter’s best friend.
Shoulder vents help air
circulate, and lightweight
merino wool keeps you
classy. Stash your wallet
in the rear zip pocket.
3/ YOUR PANTS
Stretch cotton helps
keep you from overheat-
ing as you climb hills,
and the fabric’s finish
repels water and dirt. A
flip of the cuff reveals
reflective taped seams.
1/ YOUR JACKET
Stay dry in spring drizzle
with a lightweight nylon
windbreaker. Bonus:
The bright madras pat-
tern makes it less likely
you’ll wind up as some-
body’s hood ornament.
IZOD JACKET, $68
GIRO NEW ROAD SHI RT, $120
LEVI’ S COMMUTER PANTS, $88
GIRO SHOES, $150; HELMET, $175
GOLD TOE SOCKS, $17
SHIFT
INTO TOP
GEAR
If your commute leaves
you looking unkempt,
try these new essentials
meant to help every man
go the distance.
BY
BRIAN BOYÉ
PHOTOGRAPHS BY
AARON RICHTER
Style

#
slacksareback

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B
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C
H
M
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LAND
SMOOTHLY
The Train or
Plane Commute
Being well put together
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PUT YOUR LIFE
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So you don’t have a full-
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The four-way stretch is
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The cotton twill fabric
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3/ YOUR SOCKS
Socks made from syn-
thetic blends, like those
containing nylon and
polyester, effectively
wick away sweat, and
spandex can conform
to any size foot.

102 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
KEEP THE
BEER,
LOSE THE
BELLY
Alcohol is more than liquid
calories—it’s a saboteur that
zaps your metabolism. Our
guy changed up his drinking
habits and lost 10 pounds.
We’ll drink to that!
MODERATION. IT’S ONE OF THOSE LOADED WORDS
that Puritans threw around and that we all still
shake, stir, and muddle to make more palatable.
When it comes to alcohol, though, that word
is etched in glass: Fourteen (or fewer) drinks a
week, and no more than four in a single day, is
“moderate,” according to the National Institute
on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA).
One drink means a 12-ounce beer, a 5-ounce
glass of wine, or a 1½-ounce shot of 80-proof
spirits. No matter how that adds up, I’d slipped
past moderation, and I’d also seen my weight
creep up 10 pounds. Blame it on a cocktail of
deadlines, stress, inactivity, and also fun. Sound
familiar? A 2012 CDC study found that about
one in four men exceed the moderation guide-
lines an average of five times a month.
That kind of drinking can make your belly
bulge. Within minutes of your sipping a drink,
your fat metabolism can wane. Because your
body treats alcohol as a toxin, removing it
becomes the top priority, says Angelo Tremblay,
Ph.D., a professor of kinesiology at Laval Uni-
versity in Quebec. That can cause your body to
stop burning its usual stored carbs and fat for
energy and instead utilize the alcohol. The dou-
ble whammy: Any other calories you take in,
whether they’re carbs from your brew or protein
from buffalo wings, end up as stored fat.
BY
BEN COURT
PHOTOGRAPH BY
MATTHEW STACEY Weight Loss

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PRO BCAA contains 13g of amino acids,
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Naturally Added
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104 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
P
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The average man needs an hour to metabolize
0.6 ounce of alcohol, the amount in one drink,
so even a couple of drinks can have a dramatic
effect. In a UC Berkeley study published in the
American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, people
who downed an ounce of alcohol from two cock-
tails showed a 73 percent decrease in fat burning
after two hours. And in a study from Switzer-
land published in the New England Journal of
Medicine, male participants who were given two
beers’ worth of alcohol with each of their three
meals experienced a slowdown equivalent to
roughly 450 calories that day.
That’s one reason I decided to abstain for four
weeks. Beyond its caloric load and impact on
your fat burners, alcohol can disrupt your sleep
pattern, mess with your appetite, and foment
a cascade of other weight-gaining processes,
according to Donald Hensrud, M.D., an associate
professor of preventive medicine and nutrition
at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, and
a coauthor of The New Mayo Clinic Cookbook:
Eating Well for Better Health.
“One reason to stop completely is to see how
you feel physically and psychologically,” he says.
If you can tough it out (or even feel better) while
losing weight, then you can transition to more-
moderate measures to maintain your weight.
Waist size aside, two drinks a day may actu-
ally be healthier than none at all. If you graph
drinking and mortality over a given time period,
a J shape forms. Men at the bottom of the J have
two drinks a day and are less likely to die dur-
ing that period than teetotalers are. After two
drinks, the number of deaths starts to rise. In
fact, excessive alcohol use is the third-leading
cause of preventable death, after smoking and
obesity. A toast, then, to moderation—and to
finding the truth about drinking and dieting.
WEEK ONE
To help me navigate the tricky shoals of absti-
nence, I check in with the coauthors of Almost
Alcoholic—Robert Doyle, M.D., a clinical instruc-
tor in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and
Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D., a psychologist in Hartford,
Connecticut. First we strategize: The easiest way
to change bad habits is to replace them with better
ones. We identify specific danger drinks: the post-
work decompressor, the social lubricator at a
party or bar, the glass of wine that enhances din-
ner, and the nightcap that takes the edge off. Then
we figure out replacements. They also advise keep-
ing alcohol hidden so I’m not reminded of what I’m
missing. Things start out well: I replace my post-
work drink with a 15-minute exercise circuit, and I
stock bottles of mineral water and cans of seltzer to
help simulate the sensation of drinking alcohol.
The novelty of not boozing makes the first week
flash by in a sobriety-fueled binge of productivity.
`RESULT I drop three pounds without sacrificing
any of my favorite foods.
Alcohol Wrecks Your Sleep
Scientists know that alcohol sabotages sleep
quality and that good sleep is critical to weight
loss. Sleep is not like a light switch, says MH
sleep advisor W. Christopher Winter, M.D., med-
ical director of the Sleep Medicine Center at
Martha Jefferson Hospital in Charlottesville,
Virginia. “It’s a brain activity more like laugh-
ter, and it relies on a series of neurotransmit-
ters syncing up to enable the cascade of sleep,”
he says. “Alcohol interferes with that, taking a
wrecking ball to your sleep architecture.”
Though booze may help you drift off, it affects
the first half of the sleep cycle, which is when
most men sleep deepest. Because alcohol is a
sedative, it suppresses dreaming. Then when it’s
metabolized, your brain wakes up, causing frag-
mented sleep and nightmares. A study from the
University of Michigan Alcohol Research Center
found that heavy drinkers sleep less than non-
drinkers (43 fewer minutes a night) and that
the sleep they do log is of inferior quality. Dur-
ing deep sleep, your body carries out a series of
restorative hormonal and metabolic functions.
Without it, your energy system can misfire: You
feel hungry when you don’t need food, and you
make poor diet choices. In a French study, peo-
ple consumed 560 more calories during the day
following just one night of poor sleep than they
did after sleeping eight hours.
`THE FIX Ax the nightcap. Your body needs time to
process alcohol before you go to sleep. You could
savor one drink when you return home from
work, says Dr. Winter, and sip another with your
meal, ideally several hours before you hit the hay.
Instead of self-medicating, talk with your doc-
tor about why you’re having trouble falling asleep,
and see “Here Be Monsters” in this issue.
WEEK TWO
The recycling guys are going to love me: I guzzle
seltzer even when I’m not thirsty. Having that can
in my hand or within reach keeps me in a comfort
zone. This means the replacement strategy is work-
ing, says Dr. Doyle. But I’m still having a tough
time replacing both the flavor and the buzz of wine
and beer. Dr. Doyle offers surprising solutions: Eat
more local food, and try diverse cuisines. “Take
your tastebuds on safari so you’re not bored,” he
says. He likens it to exploring regional wines. He
also encourages me to find other indulgences, such
as dark chocolate and cheese.
`RESULT Boom—I drop another 4 pounds!
Alcohol Leads to Wings
Beer goggles work on food too. When you’ve
had a few drinks, fatty foods seem even more
attractive. Alcohol triggers a release of the neu-
rotransmitter dopamine, which makes you feel
good. And fMRI scans of social drinkers show
decreased activity in brain circuits involved in
detecting threats, along with increased activ-
ity in circuits involved in reward, says Lorenzo
Leggio, M.D., Ph.D., of the NIAAA and the National
Institute on Drug Abuse.
At the same time, your body also releases
ghrelin, an appetite-stimulating hormone, and
galanin, a neuropeptide that may lead you to eat
more fat. The result is called hyperphagia—an
abnormally increased appetite. You go for the
guilty-pleasure food, and the alcohol washes
away the guilt. A 2013 American Journal of Clini-
cal Nutrition study found that men ate 433 more
calories (264 from alcohol, 169 from food and
other beverages) and 9 percent more fat on days
they drank than on days they abstained.
DRINKING AN
OUNCE OF
ALCOHOL
DIALED DOWN
PEOPLE’S FAT
BURNERS
BY 73 PERCENT.
Keep the Beer, Lose the Belly Weight Loss /

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`THE FIX Slow the rate at which alcohol enters
your bloodstream. A recent Northern Kentucky
University study points out that having food in
your stomach can help slow the absorption of
alcohol by as much as 57 percent. That means
your lard furnace may remain more active. The
takeaway: Drink only after you’ve started eat-
ing a meal, says study author Cecile A. Marczin-
ski, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at
Northern Kentucky University. When dinner’s
done, you’re done.
That can also help you avoid the weight-loss
witching hour. When you’re tired and drunk, you
risk an appetite meltdown with no “off” switch.
So try the old trick of chasing each drink with a
glass of water. The water adds volume so your
stomach feels full, and it helps slow the absorp-
tion of alcohol so you’re less likely to end up
trashed and eating garbage. Also, decide what
and where you’ll eat afterward before you start
drinking, says nutritionist Cynthia Sass, R.D.
“Having popcorn or hummus with vegetables
handy when you arrive home means you’re less
likely to raid the kitchen for cookies or chips.”

WEEK THREE
I still don’t miss alcohol after work or with meals.
My exercise circuit releases feel-good endorphins,
and my diverse diet keeps dinner lively. I’m also
eating more cheese as dessert, pairing domestic
and inter national blues and aged cheddars with
apples, pears, and walnuts. My nightcap is now a
square of dark chocolate. Like red wine, dark choc-
olate triggers a hit of dopamine and contains res-
veratrol, a heart-healthy anti oxidant. Instead of
surfing wine.com, I cruise chocosphere.com, look-
ing for 70 percent cacao bars from upscale brands,
like Cluizel and Valrhona, and made with single-
origin beans from exotic places like Madagascar
and Venezuela. Dr. Doyle was right: Exploring
new foods is fun.
`RESULT Up a pound—cheese and chocolate!
Alcohol Is Loaded with Calories
Alcohol packs 7 calories per gram, second only to
fat (9 calories); by contrast, protein and carbohy-
drates contain 4 calories per gram. But metaboliz-
ing alcohol so it can be used as a fuel burns 20
percent of its calories. That means the actual
energy yield from alcohol is closer to 5 calories.
Then you add in the mixers. There are no blurred
lines when it comes to excess: According to a Dan-
ish review, exceeding two beers a day increases
your risk of “abdominal adiposity”—beer belly.
But drinking moderately doesn’t necessarily
lead to weight gain. In a five-year study also from
Denmark, men who averaged one daily alcoholic
drink were 21 percent less likely to stretch their
belts than those who didn’t indulge. Another
study, in Nutrition, found that moderate wine
drinkers tended to not gain any weight after six
years, while those who drank beer and spirits
more heavily did. The reasons? Red wine may
interfere with the way fat accumulates in fat
cells and may also reduce the size of fat cells, say
researchers in Spain. Plus, the resveratrol might
affect the expression of a gene that controls the
formation of body fat, reports Nutrition Reviews.
`THE FIX “Wine is the best option if you’re watch-
ing your belly, followed by spirits and then beer,”
says Dr. Hensrud. For beer drinkers, the keys
are, again, moderation and water. When you
enter a bar, order a pint of H
2
O and drink it, he
says. That way you won’t pound your first beer.
Keep alternating beer and water. (Ditto for wine.
Sip mindfully to stretch your drink.) Note that
craft beers tend to have more alcohol and calo-
ries per ounce than regular beers do, says Wil-
liam C. Kerr, Ph.D., a senior scientist at the Public
Health Institute’s Alcohol Research Group, so
“keep track of how much you’re drinking.”
WEEK FOUR
I’ve been tested at bars and parties, but I use the
tactics suggested by Dr. Doyle. I carry around a
highball glass with seltzer, rocks, and a lime—a
concoction that looks like a gin and tonic. If people
do ask why I’m not indulging, I blame my doctor:
“My blood sugar numbers put me close to predia-
betic, so he told me to cut back. Bummer, right?” I
still crave a nightcap, but along with snacking on
dark chocolate, I’m auditioning different closers,
like practicing yoga and reading fiction. I’ve been
sleeping much better, having vivid dreams, and
waking up energized and clearheaded.
`RESULT After cutting back on cheese and choco-
late, I drop 3 pounds. My total weight loss is 9
pounds. The kicker: Many of the experts I inter-
viewed admitted that they drink a glass or two of
red wine most days (but not every day). So I’m
getting ready to reintroduce wine with meals. In
moderation, of course. ½
Sources: Substance Use & Misuse; Alcoholism: Clinical and
Experimental Research; Drug Abuse Warning Network
BOOZE CLUES
The first step in
moderation is
knowing exactly
what you’re
drinking. Then
keep track and
maybe cut back.
10X
Increase in U.S. ER
visits involving energy
drinks from 2005 to
2010; nearly one in
five of those visits
involved energy drinks
mixed with alcohol.
18%
Rise in breath alcohol
level in people who
used a diet mixer in
drinks versus a regu-
lar mixer. Sugar slows
your body’s absorp-
tion of alcohol; the
artificial sweeteners
in diet soda ease the
path of alcohol to your
small intestine.
BEER (12 OZ)
100 to 150 calories
WINE (5 OZ)
red = 125 calories
white = 120 calories
GIN, RUM, VODKA, OR
WHISKEY (1.5 OZ)
80 proof = 97 calories
90 proof = 110 calories
LAGER
Samuel Adams Boston
4.9%, 175 calories
PILSNER
Victory Prima Pils
5.3%, 174 calories
INDIA PALE ALE
Lagunitas IPA
6.2%, 216 calories
FARMHOUSE ALE
Boulevard Tank 7
8.5%, 241 calories
BELGIAN ABBEY ALE
Ommegang Three
Philosophers
9.7%, 291 calories
STOUT
AleSmith Speedway
12%, 408 calories
12%
Extra amount over a typi-
cal serving people pour
into a widemouthed glass
A 750-milliliter wine bottle
has five servings. Use that
to calibrate your pour.
43%
Extra amount of wine over
a typical serving generally
poured at a bar
12%
Extra amount over a typi-
cal serving poured if glass
is on a table, not in hand
THE NUMBERS
Measures and calories
DRINKING GAME
Booze calories add up
1 MARTINI +
2.5 GLASSES OF
RED WINE +
1 SHOT BOURBON =
1 BIG MAC (550 CAL)
BUD LIGHT 4.2%
110 calories × 6 =
660 calories
BUD LIGHT
PLATINUM 6%
137 calories × 6 =
822 calories
BUDWEISER 5%
145 calories × 6 =
870 calories
STRONG SIXERS
Choose Buds wisely
CRAFT-BEER BELLY
Not so microcaloric!
POURING LESSONS
The skinny on wine
SPIRITED AWAY
Mix with caution

C
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106 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
C
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l
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s

N
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z
WHY SHE
CHEATS
There’s rarely just one reason
behind a woman’s decision to
stray. To understand that itch,
we went to the sources. These are
the stories of four women who
stepped out. Recognize anyone?
WHEN SAM* DISCOVERED THAT HIS WIFE HAD CHEATED ON HIM, HE WAS
enraged. “He kept saying I ruined his world and broke his heart, and that this
came out of nowhere,” says Eileen, who’s now his ex-wife. She understood
his anger but not his surprise—she’d been telling him for years how misera-
ble she was, but he’d just brush it off.
Men often claim the high ground when their partners cheat, but that’s
missing the point. “People don’t just cheat for no reason, usually,” says
Jennifer Harman, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Colorado State Univer-
sity. “If women feel they were betrayed first, that betrayal—even if it didn’t
involve cheating—can help justify their own behavior.” And while men
are statistically the bigger cheaters, the percentage of women having affairs
rose almost 40 percent in the past 20 years, to about 14 percent, a National
Opinion Research Center study found. (Men held steady at about 20 percent.)
The good news, says Harman, is that often you can stop a partner from
cheating, but it requires work and sacrifice. Are you up for it? We asked four
cheaters to tell their stories so you can learn from their partners’ mistakes.
BY
JASON FEIFER
Couples

JESSICA, 28
“I felt stupid and alone.”
My boyfriend used to act like I was
fascinating. But after a while, he’d
barely ask how my day went. He
even stopped wanting sex. One
night, while he was home working,
I put on see-through lingerie—I
needed him to want me. He waved
me off—he had e-mails to write.
A few months later, my mom
went into the hospital. I was crying
on the couch, but instead of com-
ing over to hug me, he said, “It’s in
God’s hands.” Maybe that was true,
but it wasn’t comforting.
So I left and went to visit my
mom. My ex heard I was in town
and called me. He was patient and
caring—basic stuff that my current
boyfriend just wouldn’t give me.
We talked for hours, moving closer
on the couch, eventually hold-
ing hands, and soon we were back
in my old bedroom together. The
sex really wasn’t good. It felt like
watching a rerun on TV. But in the
moment, at least, it reminded me
of what it was like to have a boy-
friend who cared about me. And
that felt good.
I didn’t regret it afterward, and
I still don’t. For me—and for most
women, I think—sex is really tied
up with emotional connection.
I wasn’t getting it from my boy-
friend, but for that night, at least,
I found it with my ex. Then I trav-
eled back home, and fell into a spi-
ral of deceit: My hiding innocent
lunches turned into hiding flirty
text messages with guys. I never
actually cheated again, but I always
wanted to. After a few months, I
realized that meant it was time to
break up. So I moved out.
EILEEN, 34
“I was always wrong.”
Sam and I met in the city, but when
we got married, he wanted to buy
a place out in the woods. At first
it sounded exciting—the two of
us shacked up, christening every
room. But the fun wore off fast, and
Sam just wanted to stay home. If I
made plans, he’d guilt me—saying
I was overspending. I was trapped.
Three years went by like this.
Online message boards became
my social life. That’s how I met
Andy. E-mails turned into flirty
Gchats. One day, he flat-out asked
if I was unhappy in my marriage.
Then he invited me to his house.
I said no but kept flirting. Finally,
one night I told my husband I was
going to visit my brother, and I
went to Andy’s.
It felt like living someone else’s
life. Andy opened the door and
said, “I’m glad you came.” Total cli-
ché. We walked to his living room
and sat down. I had no idea what to
do; I hadn’t had a booty call since
college. We made awkward chit-
chat until he finally just leaned in
and kissed me. My whole body felt
awakened. We ripped each oth-
er’s clothes off and had sex on his
couch. I drove home feeling giddy.
The next day, by e-mail, I
dumped years of pent-up needs
on Andy: I wanted to see him, date
him, leave my husband for him. In
turn, Andy disappeared—he didn’t
want any of that. A few months
later my husband found out. I was
mostly just relieved. We divorced.
I moved back to the city. We talk
sometimes, but he still doesn’t
accept any of the blame. I’m done
trying to convince him.
JAMIE, 27
“He was always working.”
We needed to talk. “I have some
time around 9 p.m. on Sunday,”
Steve said. This was exactly the
problem—he was a workaholic. I’d
end up in bed alone every night.
And when we were together, we’d
only talk shop—we worked in the
same field—which made us sound
like two bored colleagues. Think I
wanted to have sex after that?
One night, while Steve was at
the office, I met some friends at a
bar and started talking to Justin,
who didn’t care about work—his
or mine. I was shocked by what a
turn-on it was. My friends left, but
I stayed behind. Soon, Justin and I
were drunkenly making out. It just
felt so good to be desired.
I slept over at his place that
night. The next morning, as we
walked down the street, he tried
to hold my hand. I freaked out
and pulled away. I was worried
that we’d run into people I knew,
but I also couldn’t wait to escape.
That’s when I realized I needed to
escape my boyfriend too.
Weeks later, I tried to break up
with Steve. He brushed me off; he
had work to do. When it finally
happened, I’m not sure if he was
surprised or just relieved. But now
he can do what he loves full-time.
I’m still looking for more.
SHEILA, 31
“I felt cheap.”
I adore Johnny—he’s funny, car-
ing, a great dresser. But there are
downsides: His place is a dump.
He works at a thrift store. He’s a
stoner. And he refuses to grow up:
He got married young, divorced,
and now says he’s enjoying his sec-
ond childhood. We click well, and
the sex is great. So I’m torn.
Then there’s Brad. We met at a
mutual friend’s party, started tex-
ting, and meet up while Johnny is
at work. He’s a little boring, but he’s
in law school and acts like an adult.
Once, after a few drinks, he touched
my face and said, “This was wonder-
ful. You’re so intelligent.” I nearly
melted. When he invited me to his
place a few days later, I said yes.
I hurried inside, hoping not to
be spotted. Brad, it turns out, really
likes rough sex, which I didn’t see
coming. We actually only fooled
around. He bit me a few times, and
when I said, “Ouch!” he just laughed
and bit me again.
So now here’s the past month of
my life: Johnny, who thinks we’re
exclusive, feels like my teenage
summer fling. Brad, who knows
nothing about Johnny, is my adult
affair. I wish I could combine them
into a fun-loving, career-focused
guy. Instead, I feel this is going to
end badly. It’s just a matter of how.

“WE MADE AWKWARD CHITCHAT UNTIL
HE LEANED IN AND KISSED ME. MY
BODY FELT AWAKENED. WE RIPPED EACH
OTHER’S CLOTHES OFF.”
`WATCH FOR Petty disputes. These
arguments reflect deeper, under-
lying insecurities, and conflict
increases stress levels, which can
cause sexual satisfaction to dip,
says Selterman.
`PULL HER BACK Admit when she’s
right, says Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., a
Manhattan-based marriage thera-
pist. She’ll be more open to com-
promise if you’re listening to her.
Then pitch a solution: If she’s over-
spending, for instance, try working
out a budget together.
`WATCH FOR Failure to unplug.
Communication levels drop
when you’re always at your boss’s
(or anyone else’s) beck and call,
which leaves your partner feeling
neglected, Hokemeyer says.
`PULL HER BACK Create tech-free
zones, says Hokemeyer—in bed,
for instance, or at the dinner table.
You’ll be more focused and atten-
tive, and she’ll have a chance to
express her needs, which Selter-
man says will help increase her
overall relationship happiness.
`WATCH FOR Feeling too cozy.
Ambitious and confident men are
more attractive than men who avoid
challenges, Selterman says. Like-
wise, women may drift away from
men who have no drive.
`PULL HER BACK Make a small
change—like a new diet—but give
her the credit. Then create a list
of goals, share them with her, and
enlist her help in achieving them.
“Being invested in your success will
make her burst with pride when
you succeed,” Selterman says. ½
`WATCH FOR Boredom. “Passion ebbs
as once-exciting things become rou-
tine,” says Dylan Selterman, Ph.D., a
psychology professor at the Univer-
sity of Maryland. “Lack of novelty is
strongly linked to dissatisfaction.”
`PULL HER BACK As often as you can,
take the initiative to try new things
that can expand your relationship,
says Selterman. “Novel experi-
ences, such as concerts or cooking
classes—whatever may interest
you both—will trigger excitement
and help resolidify your bond.”
*Names and identifying details have been changed.

WELCOME TO
THE BODY SHOP
Some of the most innovative advancements
in fitness are being developed in a garage in
Murray, Utah. Follow them and grow stronger.
seven kettlebells explode off the floor in unison. Their
bearers—six men and one woman—swing the weights
up to chest level and then begin counting off pendu-
lum-like reps. “One, two, three, four. . .” They continue
to 50, and then the largest man in the group cleans
his kettlebell and does five overhead presses.
“We’re conducting an experiment this month—500
swings a day, five days a week, with a strength exercise
between each set,” says trainer Dan John as he lowers
a 70-pound kettlebell to the floor of his two-car garage
in Murray, Utah. “The swing is the fundamental
hip-hinge movement—a total-body power exercise—
nts
e in
onger.
“SWING!” THE COMMANND R D RIICOCHE COCHE
seven kettlebells explode off the fl
bearers—six men and one woman
up to chest level and then begin co
lum-like reps. “One, two, three, fo lum-like reps.
to 50, and then the largest man in 50,
his kettlebell and does five overhe kettlebell and does five
“We’re conducting an experime We’re an
swings a day, five days a week, wit a day, five days a week,
between each set,” says trainer Da set,” sa trainer
a 70-pound kettlebell to the floor ttlebell to the floor
in Murray, Utah. “The swing is the “The sw is the
hip-hinge movement—a total-bo to
BY
MICHAEL EASTER
PHOTOGRAPHS BY
BENJAMIN RASMUSSEN
Muscle
108 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014

“SWING!” THE COMMAND RICOCHETS OFF THE WALLS AS
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LOSE WEIGHT YOUR WAY

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and we’re going to see what strength and body
composition improvements result from doing
10,000 of them.”
Any other trainer might be kidding, but John,
a former weightlifting champion and one of
the top strength coaches in the country, is a man
to be taken seriously. Indeed, studies like this
one are commonplace at his training lab, known
by the people who sweat here as the Westridge
Street Barbell Club. And the results are often
as strong and clear as the Tequila Cazadores he
keeps stashed in a beat-up minifridge. (“For
emergency use only,” he says with a grin.)
Consider John’s most popular creation, the
goblet squat. “Without a lot of coaching, almost
no one does a traditional barbell squat properly,”
he says. “So we started experimenting.” A posi-
tion change this way, a movement tweak that
way, and he soon found that when a guy holds
a kettlebell or dumbbell in front of his chest
like a goblet, he typically squats perfectly every
time—with little or no instruction beforehand.
“It forces you to keep your chest up and use your
hips to sit back into the movement,” says John.
His contributions don’t stop there—if you’ve
ever done a loaded carry or used a slosh pipe, you
have John to thank. Indeed, many of the most
innovative exercises and training strategies of
the past 10 years haven’t come from a govern-
ment facility or university research center. They
originated or were popularized here, where every
day at 9 a.m., all types of people—accountants,
stay-at-home moms, pro athletes, Navy SEALs—
become lab rats. “We have a brain trust in this
garage,” says John. “Anyone can work out for
free, and that’s why we learn so much. Differ-
ent people with different backgrounds and abili-
ties create an environment where everything is
looked at through many different lenses.”
Kettlebell
SWING, GETUP
Because of its handle
and inherently ballistic
nature, nothing swings
quite like a kettlebell,
says Dan John. That
makes this weight
the perfect choice for
dynamic, total-body
moves like the swing.
“And the way a kettlebell
loads the shoulder in
the getup maximizes
joint stability,” he says.
Barbell
BENCH PRESS, DEADLIFT
“These are lifts that ben-
efit from heavy loads,”
says John. “The beauty
of the barbell is its ver-
satility—that is, you can
load it in increments as
large or small as you
want.” That’s not the
case with dumbbells
and kettlebells. “They
don’t offer the same
versatility or load capac-
ity,” says John.
Mini-Band
LATERAL WALK
This simple $3 piece
of equipment can do
wonders for your glute
strength and lateral
movement proficiency,
both of which are
essential for boosting
power and athleticism.
“Strap it on your ankles
and walk side to side,”
says John. “You’ll feel
muscles you didn’t
know you had.”
TRX
INVERTED ROW
Using a suspension
trainer instead of a bar
for inverted rows adds
instability, increasing
the challenge to your
core. Plus, you can eas-
ily adjust the intensity of
the move by walking
closer to or farther away
from the anchor. The
result: stronger shoul-
ders and upper back,
and a lower risk of injury.
Dumbbells
LOADED CARRY
When it comes to
increasing “time under
tension”—a key muscle-
building stimulus—few
moves can compare
to the loaded carry.
Dumbbells edge out
kettlebells here for two
simple but important
reasons: “More gyms
have them, and you can
load in smaller incre-
ments,” says John.
LIFT THIS
Some exercises
are more efective
when performed
with certain gear.
Here are the best
tools for seven
common moves.
THE REAL IRON MAN
For trainer Dan John, every
workout is an experiment in
how to build muscle faster.
Welcome to the Body Shop Muscle /
110 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014

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Can’t make it to Utah to train with John?
You can still reap the benefits of his research
by embracing these four training principles.
For even faster gains, try his 28-day total-body
transformation plan on this month’s poster.
1/ FOCUS ON MOVEMENTS, NOT MUSCLES “Iso-
lating specific muscles is training like you’re
Frankenstein’s monster,” says John. And the
results are often as clumsy and impractical.
True strength—the kind needed to hoist a sack
of cement or carry a sofa up a flight of stairs—
comes from muscles working cooperatively as
a team. So train them that way by performing
compound, multijoint exercises that force your
muscles to synchronize their efforts.
TRY THIS “Make sure every workout includes
the five fundamental movement patterns: push,
pull, hinge, squat, and carry,” says John. In prac-
tice, that might mean doing a pushup, a pullup,
a deadlift, a goblet squat, and a farmer’s walk.
“Pay particular attention to the movement you
normally don’t do,” says John. For many men,
he says, it’s the carry. “I also like to throw in
something extra, such as a mini-band walk, so
I can work on movements and muscle groups
that are frequently neglected.”
2/ DO SOMETHING EVERY DAY It’s important to
allow for adequate recovery time (at least a
day of rest) between strenuous workouts, but
that doesn’t mean you should sit on the couch.
“Your goal is to master the key movement pat-
terns,” says John. “Practicing them on your off
days makes all the difference, especially when it
comes to reducing your risk of injury, boosting
athletic performance, and maximizing the effec-
tiveness of your workouts.”
TRY THIS Take time out during your day—at
home, in the office, on the road—for three move-
ment breaks. Do three body-weight squats, two
pushups, a few rows (you can use a briefcase
or backpack), and a loaded carry (even grocer-
ies count). It may sound simple, but the effect
is powerful; each time you practice the move-
ments, you reinforce neurologic pathways that
lead to mastery. “That makes using proper form
all the more crucial,” says John. Concentrate on
hinging at your hips instead of bending over at
your waist, keeping your back naturally arched,
and bracing your core.
3/ BECOME A MINIMALIST When it comes to build-
ing strength, many men think the relationship
between time spent lifting and gains made is
linear. And they’re right—but only to a certain
point. “What you should really be shooting for is
the minimum effective dose, which is the least
amount of work you need to perform in order to
earn the results you want,” says John. Any effort
beyond that point is not only a waste of time but
also potentially hazardous. Indeed, constantly
pushing your limits can actually hinder muscle
growth by impeding recovery. Even worse, it can
land you on the disabled list.
TRY THIS Limit yourself to 22 to 25 total sets per
workout, and keep the list of exercises you do
short, says John. A few sets of each of the five
fundamental movement patterns (push, pull,
hinge, squat, and carry) are all you need to see
results. And if you select the right tool for the
job (check out “Lift This” on the previous page),
you’ll achieve those results in record time. Your
goal is to walk out of the gym feeling strong and
energized, not sore and spent.
4/ DO LOTS OF REPETITIONS “Time under load is
necessary for gains in size,” says John. “That
makes reps key for building muscle.” Most guys
do plenty of high-weight, low-rep strength work,
but they rarely spend enough time keeping their
muscles under tension. That’s unfortunate, says
John, because that kind of stress is one of the
most effective triggers for gaining lean mass.
TRY THIS Once or twice a week, weave extended
sets into your workout. “Try a few sets of 30 gob-
let squats, for example, or do a barbell complex,
moving from one barbell exercise to the next
without putting down the bar,” says John. His
favorite: five reps each of the barbell row, clean,
front squat, shoulder press, back squat, and good
morning. “You’ll probably have to stop at some
point to catch your breath, but you’re still hold-
ing the bar, so even during that ‘rest period’
you’re under load,” says John. “Of course, you
could also do 500 kettlebell swings.” ½
“TIME UNDER LOAD IS
NECESSARY FOR GAINS IN
SIZE. THAT MAKES REPS
KEY FOR BUILDING MUSCLE.”
IT’S ALL IN THE HIPS
Seattle Mariners catcher
John Buck uses goblet squats
to build explosive power.
For full descriptions of the exercises in this
article, visit MensHealth.com/workout-center.
Welcome to the Body Shop Muscle /
112 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014

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2014 POSTER SERIES
Complete the five workouts described on the opposite
side of this poster each week for four weeks, using the
chart at right to guide each day’s training. The strength exercises are
most effective when done with a kettlebell; its inherent instability
increases the challenge, says John. But if you don’t have access to a
kettlebell, you can use a dumbbell instead.
The Lean
Muscle Multiplier
`Goblet Squat
Hold a kettlebell vertically in front of your chest, using both hands to
grip its “horns” (the sides of the handle) [A]. Brace your abs and lower
your body as far as you can by pushing your hips back and bending
your knees [B]. Pause, and push yourself back up to the starting position.
A B
`Pushup-Position Plank
Assume a pushup position with your hands slightly beyond your shoul-
ders, your arms and legs straight. Your body should form a straight line
from your head to your ankles. Hold this position until your time is up.
`Single-Arm Shoulder Press
Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and “rack” a kettlebell in your
right hand. (That is, hold it in front of your shoulder with the weight rest-
ing on your forearm, elbow by your side.) [A] Press it directly above your
shoulder, rotating your arm so your palm faces forward [B]. Pause, and
return to the starting position. Do all your reps, switch arms, and repeat.
A B
`Single-Arm Supported Row
Holding a kettlebell in your right hand, palm facing in, bend at your hips
and knees and place your left hand on a bench (or even the seat of a
chair). Let the kettlebell hang at arm’s length [A]. Brace your core and
pull the kettlebell to your side, keeping your elbow tucked [B]. Do all your
reps, switch arms, and repeat.
A B
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`Kettlebell Swing
Place a kettlebell on the floor in front of you. Spread your feet slightly
beyond shoulder width, push your hips back, and grab the kettlebell’s
handle in both hands [A]. Keeping your back naturally arched, swing the
A B C
weight between your legs [B] and then thrust your hips forward as you
swing it to chest level [C]. Swing it back between your legs. That’s 1 rep.
Continue swinging without returning to the starting position.

Are You America’s Next Top Trainer?
If you’re one of the best trainers in the country but have yet to be discovered,
then listen up: We’re looking for the most skilled, motivational, and talented
fitness expert in America to represent the Men’s Health brand. For a chance
to win, you’ll have to compete in head-to-head challenges against other top
fitness pros. Are you ready? To enter, visit MensHealth.com/TopTrainer.
`Suitcase Carry
Grab a kettlebell with your right hand and let it hang at arm’s length
next to your side. Let your left arm hang free. Brace your core and walk
forward, keeping your chest up and torso straight.
`Bird Dog
Get down on your hands and knees with your hands shoulder-width
apart and palms flat on the floor [A]. Brace your core and raise your left
arm and right leg until they’re in line with your torso [B]. Hold for 5 to 10
seconds, and return to the starting position. Repeat with your right arm
and left leg. Continue alternating arms and legs.
A B
`Hip Flexor Stretch
Assume the same starting position as the hip flexor rainbow’s (below),
but instead of placing your left hand on your right knee, place both
hands on your hips [A]. Push your hips forward until you feel the stretch
in your left hip and quad [B]. Pause, and return to the starting position.
Switch legs halfway through each set, unless otherwise indicated.
A B
MON TUE WED FRI SAT
WEEK 1 1 5 2 1 3
WEEK 2 4 5 1 2 1
WEEK 3 1 5 2 1 3
WEEK 4 4 5 1 2 1
A B C
`Hip Flexor Rainbow
Assume a staggered stance with your right foot 2 to 3 feet in front of your
left, and lower your body until your left knee touches the floor and your
right knee is bent 90 degrees. Place your left hand on your right knee.
This is the starting position [A]. Reach back as far as you can toward
your toes with your right hand [B]. Keeping your right arm straight, arc
your right hand over your head until it’s straight out in front of your chest
[C]. Switch legs halfway through each set (unless otherwise indicated).
`Six-Point Zenith
Get down on your hands and knees [A]. Keeping your back straight,
twist your torso up to the right and swing your right arm toward
the ceiling [B]. Pause, and return to the starting position. Repeat with
your left arm. Continue alternating sides.
A B

KETTLEBELL
CHAOS
THERE’S NO ONE SECRET FOR SCULPTING A CHISELED BODY. There are tons of them, and this month’s training plan focuses on three of the most
effective. “Concentrate on movements, not muscles; do something nearly every day; and do lots of repetitions,” says trainer Dan John, owner of
the Westridge Street Barbell Club in Utah. By combining strength moves and dynamic stretches, John’s four-week program will help you not
only boost your numbers in the gym but also build strength that translates far beyond it. “It combines mobility, stability, strength, and cardio,”
he says. “And all you need is a kettlebell or dumbbell to get started. ” Consider it a blueprint for building the body you want in 30 days or less.
Recharge your tired routine
with this 28-day strength
plan from the owner of one
of America’s top body shops.
2014 Poster
Series
BY
MICHAEL EASTER
PHOTOGRAPH BY
KENJI TOMA

WORKOUT 1 / Super Strength
This workout pairs high-rep strength moves with dynamic
stretches. Do each pair as a superset (back-to-back). Com-
plete each superset three times without pausing. Cap off
your workout with the two “finishers” to boost your burn.
WORKOUT 3 / Sweat Cyclone
This sweat session is based on Tabata training, which com-
bines brief bouts of intense exercise and rest. Do the exer-
cise in Tabata 1 for 20 seconds as hard as you can, then rest
for 10 seconds. Continue for 4 minutes. Repeat for Tabata 2.
WORKOUT 5 / Muscle Mobilizer
The goal here is to enhance mobility, which is key to unlock-
ing strength. Do the stretches as a circuit, performing each
one for 60 seconds (30 seconds per side). Do 3 circuits total
without pausing to rest.
WORKOUT 2 / Killer Cardio
You’ll do only two strength moves today: Kettlebell swing
and goblet squat. But that doesn’t mean you’re getting off
easy. Do 12 supersets of 15 swings and 1 squat. Between
each, do the “filler” indicated below for 30 seconds.
WORKOUT 4 / Total-Body Recharge
Think of today’s training as “active recovery.” (You’re going
to need it after the Tabatas.) Follow the instructions for
Workout 1 but use slightly lighter weights and complete just
1 set of each exercise.
SUPERSET 1
2
3
4
FI NI SHER 1
2

STRENGTH
SI NGLE- ARM PRESS
(10 REPS PER ARM)
SI NGLE- ARM ROW
(10 REPS PER ARM)
KETTLEBELL SWI NG
(30 REPS)
GOBLET SQUAT
(10 REPS)
PUSHUP- POSI TI ON PLANK
(2 MI NUTES)
SUI TCASE CARRY
(30 SECONDS. REST AND
REPEAT WI TH OTHER ARM
.)
STRETCH
HI P FLEXOR STRETCH
(30 SECONDS)
HI P FLEXOR RAI NBOW
(30 SECONDS)
BI RD DOG
(30 SECONDS)
SI X- POI NT ZENI TH
(30 SECONDS)



FI LLER 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
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April 2014 | MENSHEALTH.COM 115
CALM
THE HELL
DOWN!
Tame tension with these
strategies, no matter
where it ambushes you.
STRESS IS A MASTER OF DISGUISE. ONE DAY IT’S
triggered by a traffic jam, the next by your doctor
pulling on a latex glove. This wouldn’t be such
a big deal, except that by the time you hear the
sound of beeping horns or “bend over,” stress is
already on to its next trick: making your health
disappear. Poof!
“Over the long term, stress can raise your risk
of cardiovascular disease, angina, heart attack,
and stroke,” says David Posen, M.D., an Ontario-
based stress-management physician. “Often
when someone has a heart attack or stroke, oth-
ers look back and recall that the person was really
under a lot of stress in the previous few months.”
We realize we’ve just given you something
more to stress about, but don’t panic. We’re here
to un mask the enemy and provide you with a few
situation-specific tricks to help it vanish.
DON’T POP
Ease the pressure
of stress before
it balloons.
PHOTOGRAPH BY
LEVI BROWN
BY
LILA BATTIS Health

B
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116 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
B
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(
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(
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There’s a seemingly infinite array of stress-busting tools you could buy, but we’ve found
one that actually works—the lowly heart rate monitor. Pick up a basic model, such as the
Timex Easy Trainer heart rate monitor ($50, timex.com), and use it to practice biofeed-
back, a technique that can help you identify your tension triggers and figure out the best
way to combat them. “One of the problems with anxiety and stress is that people don’t
feel in control of their environment or their response to their environment,” says Melissa
Marotta Houser, M.D., a Connecticut physician who studies biofeedback. So take charge.
Start by establishing your baseline: What’s your heart rate when you’re doing normal, non-
stressful activities? When you feel tense, check it again to see how much your pulse has
spiked. Then try the chill-out strategies described in this story to find what’s most effec-
tive at bringing you back to baseline. —BRENDAN KLINKENBERG
YOUR COMMUTE
No matter how good it may feel to
flip the bird at another driver, cage
it. The faster you lose your temper,
the greater your risk of heart dis-
ease, according to a review from the
University of Iowa. “Some people
have a lower anger threshold, beep-
ing the horn when someone isn’t
hitting the gas fast enough,” says
Redford Williams, M.D., director of
Duke University’s Behavioral Medi-
cine Research Center. “But a low
threshold means your stress hor-
mones, adrenaline levels, and corti-
sol levels go up more, and you have
larger medical problems as a result.”
`DOWNSHIFT FROM PISSED GEAR The
next time you begin to feel road
rage, apply this emergency brake:
Pull over at a safe spot, turn off
your car, take a deep breath, and
say, “Calm.” Now exhale and say,
“Down.” Repeat this sequence
three times. If you’re still feeling
steamed, take a deep breath while
squeezing the steering wheel, and
then relax your grip as you exhale.
Repeat this three times. By physi-
cally mimicking your body’s relax-
ation response and releasing
tension from your muscles, you’ll
cue your brain to calm down too,
says Dr. Williams.
YOUR OFFICE
Job stress isn’t evil—without it, you
could be unemployed. “Moderate
stress gives you energy, but at a
certain point it becomes distress
and negatively impacts your emo-
tions and concentration,” says Dr.
Posen, author of Is Work Killing
You? If there’s no letup, your brain
could suffer as a result: A recent
study from Sweden found that peo-
ple under chronic job stress had
less gray matter in several brain
regions than those with fewer
work worries. That may be because
excess stress hormones can dam-
age or even kill neurons.
`STOP THE CLOCK Your brain is bet-
ter at sprints than marathons. “You
can’t be productive for long peri-
ods before your mind wanders and
your energy flags,” says Dr. Posen.
And that just adds stress. So step
away from your desk at least three
times a day to boost efficiency:
At midmorning, spend 10 min-
utes catching up with coworkers.
(Remember that schmoozing can
help your career.) Next, allot at
least half an hour for lunch—don’t
work through it. Finally, consider
taking a 15-minute walk in the
afternoon when your energy dips,
suggests Dr. Posen.
YOUR DOCTOR
You’d have to be sick to enjoy going
to the doctor. But watch out if
you’ve moved from stress-fueled
procrastination to outright M.D.
avoidance. “A lot of people with
health care anxiety stop going to
the doctor, which can allow an ill-
ness to progress to the point where
they have no choice but to go,” says
Martin Antony, Ph.D., a professor of
psychology at Ryerson University
and the author of The Anti-Anxiety
Workbook. No matter how unpleas-
ant it may be to turn your head and
cough, it’s a lot less stressful than
a ruptured hernia.
`PATIENT, HEAL THYSELF Fear of the
unknown is part of the problem,
says Antony. Ask for a rundown
of the screenings you’ll need and
the order of your tests. Then iden-
tify and challenge your white-coat
worries, says Antony. Afraid your
doc will scold you? Remember
that lots of guys with triglycer-
ide levels worse than yours have
sat in that exam room. Dreading a
diagnosis? Focus on the fact that
sinusitis is more common than
avian flu. And before you leave,
book your follow-up visit. “The
more often you go, the easier it
will become,” says Antony.
YOUR HOME
Home is where the headaches are.
Crying children, barking dogs, the
sunbathing couple next door—it’s
enough to make a guy consider
staying in the garage. “Your home
should be a place of solace, but
there’s an endless list of stress-
ors you can encounter,” says Aditi
Nerurkar, M.D., assistant medical
director of the Cheng-Tsui Inte-
grated Health Center at Beth Israel
Deaconess Medical Center in Bos-
ton. “If you’re not relieving that
stress, it can spread to other areas
of your life.” Read: Your family may
consider changing the locks.
`DE-HASSLE YOUR CASTLE Start
by squeezing in a workout after
work. Research from the Univer-
sity of Maryland shows that 30
minutes of cardio can immedi-
ately reduce stress and help shield
you from stressors afterward. If
your zen still evaporates at home,
sneak away from the source of
your stress and set your smart-
phone alarm for five minutes, says
Dr. Nerurkar. Sit with your spine
straight and eyes closed, and con-
centrate on observing your breath
(without changing the flow of your
natural breathing pattern) until
the alarm sounds.
LET GO
OF STRESS
Your best tool for
helping yourself
relax may already
be stashed in
your gym bag.
Health / Calm the Hell Down!

YOUR FLIGHT
We won’t remind you that you’re
actually more likely to die in a car
accident than you are to eat earth
in an airplane (though you are).
Heck, the thought of crashing to
the ground may not even be what
makes the skies feel so unfriendly
to you. “There’s a lot of variabil-
ity in flying anxiety, and how you
cope depends on your trigger,” says
Antony. Those triggers can include
anything from the claustrophobia
of tight quarters to the fear of hav-
ing a seatmate who’s hacking up
a lung. And of course, there’s that
fear of taking a nosedive.
`RELIEVE CABIN PRESSURE What’s
your trigger? If you often feel the
plane’s walls closing in on you, then
you probably wait until the last
minute to board. While that may
provide short-term relief, boarding
early and taking time to acclimate
to the situation can lead to better
results in the long run, Antony says.
Now if you’re worried that the
coughing guy nearby will hack into
your immune system, know that
your chance of catching an infec-
tion in flight is only 15 percent,
Purdue researchers estimate. Tip
the odds further in your favor by
washing your hands before eating
or drinking; a University of Michi-
gan review concluded that wash-
ing up cuts your risk of picking up a
respiratory illness by 21 percent.
And if the real but remote risk
of crashing stresses you, do some
homework: Before you leave, read
up on the aircraft so the flying
experience will feel predictable.
You can look online for commercial
aircraft facts, such as size and num-
ber of seats. “Anything that makes
the plane less mysterious can help
you feel less afraid,” Antony says. ½
YOUR BED
You’re naked, she’s naked; so what’s
there to stress about? “It largely
has to do with the societal scripts
for men’s sexual behavior,” says
Robin Milhausen, Ph.D., an associ-
ate professor of family relations
and human sexuality at the Uni-
versity of Guelph, Ontario. “The
beliefs that men should always be
ready for sex and should be incred-
ible sexual performers are very
prominent and strongly held, and
those expectations can be a source
of stress.” Worst case—well, you
already know the worst case: You
won’t have the wood to start a fire.
`COME TO YOUR SENSES Get out
of your head and back into bed.
One of the best ways to bring
your mind to the moment is to
pay close attention to your five
senses, explains Milhausen. For
example, focus on how awesome it
feels when she does that thing
with her hips, the strangely hot
animalistic sounds that she’s mak-
ing, or the taste (and smell) of
her glistening skin.
If you’re still psyching yourself
out of an erection, try going down
on her, Milhausen recommends.
Putting penetration on pause will
take the emphasis off your faltering
equipment. What’s more, the con-
fidence boost you’ll receive from
turning her on should provide the
additional benefit of heightening
your own arousal.
And if you feel yourself starting
to go soft while you’re in the act?
Turn to the tried-and-true squeeze
technique: Pull out and squeeze
gently just underneath the head
of your penis. Doing this may help
you maintain your arousal and
keep your erection from falling
flat, says Milhausen.
TUNE IN TO MEN’S
HEALTH LIVE,
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118 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
PHOTOGRAPHS BY
PHILIPPE SALOMON
BY
PAUL JOHN SCOTT
Special
Report

KATHERINE SHARPE WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT CAUSED HER FIRST SERIOUS
relationship to end. And that still bugs her. What she does know is that
over time, her physical desire for the man she dated in college began to
wither. And as she points out, “sex inside a stable relationship is some-
times the glue that holds people together.” She also admits that the
flame could have gone out on its own. But there’s another reason the
love affair may have hit the skids, says the 34-year-old, and it doesn’t
sit quite so well. Its fate could have been sealed by a prescription medi-
cation she never really needed in the first place.
“The drug definitely diminished my interest in sex,” says Sharpe, the
author of Coming of Age on Zoloft. She was given antidepressants after
a visit to the campus health center to talk about her anxiety, an ordinary
window of distress she now views as minor. “I’ll never know what role
the drug played,” she says, clearly wrestling with the thought. “I don’t
like having to wonder that. We went out for two years—a long time
when you’re 18. He was my first lover; we were crazy about each other.
I wish I could be certain it failed entirely on its own merits.”
I’ve had the same problem. When I was on Zoloft for two years in
my early 30s, sex became like a footrace in snowmobile boots. The
drug eased my anxieties during the day but jumpstarted them in bed.
Those are well-known side effects, but it turns out that delayed orgasm
and losing that itch are only two of the many ways antidepressants can
handicap romance. These drugs do their work in the brain, which is why
they can influence not just erections but also affection, connection, love,
and attachment. That can leave you wondering if your lover’s indiffer-
ence derives from her heart, her head, her med, or a jumble of all three.
We live in the age of the foursome: you, her, and your respective
pharmacists. With mood meds, a veritable rite of passage for many
born after, say, 1980, large portions of the dating pool have known only
pharmacologically influenced sex. Many are inserting meds into func-
tioning but difficult relationships with no idea of the cost. Still others
may be feeling effects that lingered after the drugs left their system.
This isn’t a diatribe against mood-lifting drugs. People take them for
good reasons. If your girlfriend is trying to pull herself together, it’s a
sign of maturity to seek help. If you want to tackle your problems with-
out getting lost in work, partying, sex, or designer vodka, it’s a sign of
courage. But the generational legacy of our love affair with antidepres-
sants is only now becoming apparent, and the “side effects” of these
drugs may include everything from widespread singledom to the soul-
destroying excesses of hookup culture to porn addiction to the prob-
lems of too many friends offering too many benefits.
With so many new unknowns, it pays to learn what antidepressants
can mean for your ability to love another person, and how you show
those feelings in the bedroom. Is it a happy pill, or something else?
THE PILL THAT KILLS
YOUR SEX DRIVE
Antidepressants are everywhere. So are their dire
effects on love and sex. Isn’t that depressing?
STARTING IN THE 1990S, A NEW GENERATION OF
antidepressants were more aggressively mar-
keted to a broader population. The main and
most successful target group of these campaigns:
women. According to data from the National
Health and Nutrition Examination Survey,
women are 2½ times as likely to take anti-
depressants as men are. And with 264 million
antidepressant prescriptions written in 2011,
the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors
(SSRIs)—including Celexa, Zoloft, Prozac, and
Lexapro—are some of the most prescribed phar-
maceuticals in the nation. That means if your
girlfriend is taking something from a brown bot-
tle, chances are it’s for her head.
College kids are presumably a peak demo-
graphic. Audrey Bahrick, Ph.D., a researcher on
the sexual side effects of SSRIs and a staff psy-
chologist at the University of Iowa’s counseling
service, says 20 to 30 percent of students coming
to the service are already taking psychotropic
meds. “Another 20 percent choose to start medi-
cation during the course of therapy, so of the col-
lege students seeking help, about 50 percent are
on a psychotropic medication.”
How do these meds work? SSRIs increase
the availability of serotonin, but whether rais-
ing serotonin is the reason for the drugs’ effec-
tiveness is unclear. (Contrary to the marketing
claim, depressed people do not have a “chemical
imbalance” of low serotonin.) The drugs’ effec-
tiveness could be due to the placebo effect, or to
mild sedating effects, or to mild mental energiz-
ing properties. But the bigger question is this:
What are the drugs better at—improving depres-
sion scores or disrupting sexual function?
Research finds that only about half of patients
respond to antidepressant treatment, and even
among those who benefit, there may be a sig-
nificant placebo effect to take into account—an
astonishing 82 percent, according to a data anal-
ysis from the University of Connecticut. The
researchers speculate that if these two findings
are cumulative, the drug-specific benefit for the
user may be “clinically negligible.”
The percentage of SSRI users who take a hit
to the libido, however, may be significant. “I
think we can be confident that the majority will
be affected by sexual side effects, perhaps some-
where between 50 and 70 percent of people

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MENSHEALTH.COM 121
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who take them,” says Bahrick. In a recent Iranian study,
researchers concluded that sexual side effects affected
75 percent of people using SSRIs. Another study found
the effect as high as 98 percent. It’s a nearly perfect score
for exactly the wrong thing.
If you are slack-jawed at this slack-penis (or vague-
vagina) effect, it’s probably because until recently, the
labels on these drugs have reported a much lower risk.
According to research by Bahrick, many of the SSRI
package inserts even acknowledge that the sexual-
dysfunction side effects reported in clinical trials, affect-
ing 2 to 16 percent of users, may be an underestimation.
How does 16 percent jump to 70 percent? In the initial
clinical trials, the patients were not directly questioned
about their sexual functioning. They were supposed to
volunteer the embarrassing, confusing fact that they
seemed to have been having lame sex an awful lot lately.
KARA (NOT HER REAL NAME), A 22-YEAR-OLD STUDENT IN
Washington state, was prescribed Cymbalta at age 18
for depression. She later took Zyprexa, Lexapro, Rem-
eron, Pristiq, and then Prozac. She first noticed an
effect while on Lexapro, when she masturbated “and
had the weakest orgasm ever,” and “total numbness in
my vagina.” Her emotional connection to lovers had
been broken as well. “I had two long-term boyfriends
that I really loved,” she says. “As soon as I started tak-
ing Lexapro, there was this marked decrease in my
ability to feel love for them and connection to them.”
Bahrick thinks the effects on women don’t receive
enough attention. “With men it’s easier to assess. A
man who can no longer achieve an erection can’t hide
that fact from his partner, but a woman’s loss of sexual
functioning is less overt—she can choose to give plea-
sure even if she’s not capable of receiving pleasure.
THE OTHER
BLUE PILL
FOR SEX
There’s one group of
men who are definitely
not bummed by the
sexual side effects of
selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitors, or
SSRIs—guys who want
to last longer in the sack.
Doctors have been pre-
scribing SSRIs off-label
for premature ejacula-
tion (PE) for about 16
years, says Donald S.
Strassberg, Ph.D., a pro-
fessor of clinical psy-
chology at the University
of Utah who studies
premature ejaculation.
“Folks realized that
this unwanted side
effect of delaying
orgasm can be a thera-
peutic effect for those
who have PE,” he says.
It works: A recent study
from Turkey found that
guys with PE lasted two
to three minutes longer
during sex when they
took fluoxetine (e.g.,
Prozac), paroxetine
(e.g., Paxil), or sertraline
(Zoloft). But is the phar-
maceutical option the
treatment of choice for
men looking to extend
their lovemaking?
Hardly. “It can be an
effective treatment, but
it’s not a cure,” says
Strassberg. “Try a few
natural strategies. Just
wearing a condom can
help you last longer by
reducing your sensitiv-
ity,” he says. Or check
out this issue’s Health
department and try
the squeeze technique.
—JULIE STEWART
“I CAN’T FEEL
ANYTHING,” SAYS
KARA. “I JUST
LIE THERE LIKE A
SEX DOLL. THAT’S
NO FUN FOR ME.”
The Pill That Kills Your Sex Drive Special Report /

MENSHEALTH.COM 123
That might be acceptable in the short run, but it
can wear thin over time.”
As Kara says, “I don’t know if I’m capable of
falling in love anymore. The function isn’t there.
As for sex, I can’t feel anything and just lie there
like a sex doll. That’s no fun for me.”
That numbing effect happened to a man I’ll
call Rob, a real estate property manager who
went on Lexapro for a lifelong case of dour out-
look. Now, at 41, he remembers that he’d have
been overjoyed to accept his lousy mood if he
could have regained his libido when he quit the
drug. When offered the med, “I was, like, ‘Why
not, what have I got to lose?’” he says. Lots, as
it turned out. “For about a year it worked really
well,” he recalls. Sure, his libido ebbed, but at first
he didn’t mind. “Honestly, it was helpful, because
I was so oversexed before then,” he says.
But after a year the drug stopped working, so
Rob decided to quit taking it. When he did, he
discovered that his sexual function remained on
pause—for five years. Once, in his first return to
the bedroom with a woman he liked, he found
himself struggling to reach half-mast. When it
became clear that he couldn’t perform, “she very
cheerily got up and said she was going to go sleep
in the guest bedroom,” he says. “She’d left to go
finish on her own, and I remember lying there
thinking, ‘Wow, how bad has my life become?’”
“There’s a proportion of people for whom
the change seems to be permanent,” says
David Healy, M.D., the author of Pharmageddon
and founder of the drug side-effects database
Rxisk.org. Reports of post-SSRI sexual disorder
(PSSD, for short) are becoming more common,
and the condition is being reported in medical
journals. Prozac now carries the following omi-
nous warning: “Symptoms of sexual dysfunc-
tion occasionally persist after discontinuation of
fluoxetine treatment.”
Thankfully, PSSD isn’t the norm. Katherine
Sharpe’s desire peaked whenever she missed
her pill, and Rob is now in a happy relationship.
In case you might be wondering, I’ve shed my
snowmobile boots in the bedroom. But terrible
questions remain: How can one class of drugs
turn off so many important pleasure zones?
How can they diminish one of the most essential
aspects of being human?
AS IT HAPPENS, THE CHEMICALS THAT THROTTLE
lust are the same ones that make life enjoyable.
Antidepressants may interfere with nitric oxide,
a blood molecule that relaxes smooth muscle
and triggers the engorging of blood vessels in the
penis, nipples, and clitoris during sex. The drugs
also affect the way you think, feel, and relate
to others. By raising serotonin, SSRIs overload
receptors designed to keep dopamine activity
high. That means less dopamine between neu-
rons that serve as reward pathways of the brain.
It is this neurotransmitter that makes possible
thoughts like I want her, I need her, and even
I love her. Depleting dopamine might distort,
delay, or doom relationships.
The effect has a clinical name: emotional
blunting. We have known since the late 1980s
that antidepressants (and antipsychotics like
Seroquel, Zyprexa, Abilify, and Risperdal) can
induce apathy and indifference. Emotional
blunting can be helpful in reducing feelings of
sadness in depression, or fear and anxiety. But
blunting also diminishes the kind of positive
emotions you need to make a genuine connec-
tion with a romantic partner.
In one of the earliest accounts of emotional
blunting, in the British Journal of Psychiatry in
2009, researchers at the University of Oxford,
England, reported on SSRI effects in 38 users.
The scientists found that “some participants
felt reduced love or affection toward others and,
in particular, reduced attraction toward their
partner.” They also discovered that SSRI use
may cause “emotional detachment from other
people, and reduced concern for other peo-
ple’s needs.” Users of SSRIs can also be sloppier
gauges of their own errors in judgment.
For instance, after only a week on the drug
Celexa, even people who aren’t depressed become
less competent at detecting negative emotions in
facial images, another Oxford study found. The
evolutionary biologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., who has
written about the impact of SSRIs on relation-
ships, notes: “When it comes to love and attach-
ment, you want all your natural abilities in place.
You don’t want them blunted or altered.”
Fisher, who has used fMRI scans to identify
brain systems associated with desire, roman-
tic love, and emotional attachment, is troubled
about blunting among people who are not suf-
fering from severe, chronic depression.
“It’s one thing to lose the sex drive. But when
you have sex it drives up testosterone, and more
testosterone makes you want to have more sex,
and having sex stimulates the genitals, and stim-
ulating the genitals drives up the dopamine sys-
tem, and that is needed to push yourself over the
threshold and into falling in love,” says Fisher.
Orgasms also drive up oxytocin and vasopressin,
she explains, “and that helps give you feelings of
emotional attachment.”
According to Lauren Starr, a spokeswoman
for Pfizer, which manufactures Zoloft and
Effexor, “Depressive and anxiety disorders, with
or without treatment, can be associated with the
emergence of adverse events such as sexual dys-
function.” (The makers of Cymbalta and Lexa-
pro declined to comment for this article. The
maker of Paxil passed along a link to the drug’s
prescribing information.)
“Diminished sex drive really isn’t a symp-
tom of mild depression,” says Stuart Shipko,
M.D., a psychiatrist based in Pasadena, Califor-
nia. “However, diminished sex drive afflicts
two-thirds of people who are prescribed an anti-
depressant. The sexual dysfunction caused by
the drugs is much worse than sexual dysfunc-
tion from depression.”
WHEN HE STOPPED TAKING THE
DRUG, HIS SEX LIFE REMAINED
ON PAUSE—FOR FIVE YEARS.
SMOOCH TO SPOTIFY
A pulsating musical beat can
help the two of you establish
a mutual rhythm, Resnick
says. So make a foreplaylist
that lasts about 20 minutes.
“There’s good biochemistry
in saliva,” she says. As you
swap spit, you exchange
feel-good chemicals like
serotonin and dopamine,
which helps your bodies sync
up and build excitement.
SSRIs can blunt production
of those very chemicals.
REV UP YOUR ROUTINE
When one of you has a lag-
ging libido, a frenzied romp
can be more stressful than
sexy. So build up excitement
by moving through four
stages: kissing, massage,
slow foreplay, and then the
main event. “Prime each
other to expect pleasure,”
Resnick says. As you build up
to sex, you’ll give each other
time to let the feel-good
chemicals like serotonin and
dopamine increase too.
PRACTICE PLAYFULNESS
The fun of sex is one of the
first things to fade as a rela-
tionship ages, Resnick says,
and the meds impose their
own polar vortex. To restore
heat, ask yourself: How did
you tease her at the begin-
ning of your relationship?
Work that back into your rep-
ertoire, she says. Then add a
toy, a position, anything. “You
have to inject creativity into
your routine to keep things
exciting,” says Resnick. —J. S.
OUTSMART
THE SEX EFFECTS
We asked Stella
Resnick, Ph.D., a clinical
psychologist based
in Beverly Hills, for
a lesson in medicated
lovemaking. (Works
for the unmedicated
kind too.)
CONTINUED ON PAGE 159
The Pill That Kills Your Sex Drive Special Report /

What can
truckers teach
you about
fitness? Plenty.
If they can
stay in shape
despite 300
days on the
road a year,
then you have
no excuses.
Get ready
to lose that
trailer and
gain some
horsepower.
BY
JOE KITA
P
A
G
E
PHOTOGRAPHS BY
ANDREW HETHERINGTON
JACKED
HI T T HE ROAD


126 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
MIDNIGHT ON THE PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE. WE’RE HURTLING WEST
TOWARD SPRINGFIELD, MISSOURI, A THOUSAND-MILE HAUL, IN A
500-HORSEPOWER FREIGHTLINER TOWING 19 TONS OF DANGEROUS CARGO.
BEHIND THE WHEEL IS 27-YEAR-OLD JUSTIN BOSCHEE, A 6'5" FORMER
OFFENSIVE TACKLE AT EASTERN OREGON UNIVERSITY, A BORN-AGAIN
CHRISTIAN, AND A DRIVER WITH MORE THAN 400,000 MILES OF
UNBLEMISHED EXPERIENCE. I’M HOPING THIS TRINITY OF MUSCLE,
MESSIAH, AND MILEAGE WILL KEEP US SAFE.
Rev Your
Metabolism
HIGH-INTENSITY
EXERCISE PLUS
SMART EATING
HELP TRUCKERS
TO BURN MORE
CALORIES EVEN
WHILE DRIVING.
M
TYPICAL TRUCKER
C
a
l
o
r
i
e
s

b
u
r
n
e
d

p
e
r

m
i
n
u
t
e
ACTIVE TRUCKER
3a.m. 6a.m. 9p.m. 6p.m. 3p.m. 12p.m. 9a.m. 3a.m. 6a.m. 9p.m. 6p.m. 3p.m. 12p.m. 9a.m.
22-minute workout / 359 calories burned 22
0
Source: Prime Inc.

“I found a driver dead once,” Boschee says offhandedly. “We
were switching trailers. I knocked on his cab, but no one answered.
He was dead. Young guy, too.” Then he grows pensive. A full moon
and a constellation of dashboard lights create a comforting glow.
“This is a great job. It pays well, and I love the freedom. But if
you’re not careful, it can kill you.”
A 2014 survey of long-haul truck drivers by the National Insti-
tute for Occupational Safety and Health found that 69 percent
were obese, 17 percent morbidly so. A recent Gallup-Healthways
analysis revealed that transportation workers, including truck-
ers, are the fattest and have the highest risk for chronic health
problems of any occupational group. Considering the ramifi-
cations (heart attack, stroke, fatigue. . . ), the 2.5 million trucks
on U.S. roads just might be our biggest national safety threat.
Indeed, that dead driver Boschee found was diabetic, and the
cargo in our trailer today is 38,000 pounds of Oreo Base Cake.
The smell of those delectable wafer crumbs, which we both inhale
deeply through the rear hatch, is metaphoric. It represents not
only the daily temptation at Boschee’s back (he recently dropped
40 pounds) but also the monumental health challenge facing all
men who travel for a living.
“I never had any concept of nutrition,” says Boschee, who
used to fuel himself with eggnog and Cheetos while driving at
least 11 hours a day. “Then at a truck stop in Dallas I saw my first
400-pound trucker. I couldn’t believe it. That’s when I realized
if I didn’t change, that guy would be me.”
Plenty of initiatives are under way to help truckers get in bet-
ter shape, including truck stop gyms and in-cab workout sys-
tems. But applying the brakes to a situation that’s been going
downhill for decades is a slow process. Still, guys like Boschee
are seeing results—and leading the way for others. If they can
lose weight and build muscle in an environment that’s hostile
to that effort, you can too. Let’s roll.
THE 7 RULES OF ON-THE-ROAD FITNESS
Of the two charts on the previous page, you’ll notice that the
one on the left, which monitors the metabolism of a typical long-
haul truck driver over a 24-hour period, is largely flat. Except for
a few spikes when he may have been pumping diesel or walking
into KFC, that driver could be dead. “Most drivers I work with
are sedentary almost 23 hours a day,” says Siphiwe Baleka, who’s
a Yale grad, Ironman triathlete, Masters swimming champion,
and former driver, and now the driver fitness coach at Prime
Inc., a 5,400-truck firm, and Boschee’s employer.
What’s sobering is that you don’t need to be hauling cargo
to have a metabolic profile like that. Cruising the Web all day
from behind a desk expends no more energy than cruising the
interstate. Baleka’s job is daunting. Truckers have deadlines, so
finding time to exercise or search for healthy food (which is like
trying to find a shirt with sleeves at a truck stop) can be a chal-
lenge. But since he launched his 13-week driver health and fitness
program at Prime in July 2012, Baleka reports that 131 drivers
have graduated and lost an average of 19 pounds apiece. He says
another 500 drivers who are not in the program but who’ve been
influenced by his education efforts lost an average of 10 pounds
each. Last summer he even staged a “Fittest of the Fleet” com-
petition, in which Boschee finished second.
Baleka uses seven simple strategies to encourage results:
1. No matter what, exercise 15 minutes every day. It doesn’t
have to happen in a gym, and you don’t need a formal plan.
2. Make each workout vigorous. “Maintain 75 to 85 percent
of max heart rate,” explains Baleka, who did his Ironman train-
ing during a year when he drove 150,000 miles in 323 days. “This
maximizes fat burning and, more important, your time.”
3. Work multiple muscle groups simultaneously. He gives driv-
ers a list of 32 exercises they can combine for total-body workouts.
4. Always eat after working out. The latest research says 20
grams of fast-acting protein (for instance, whey isolate powder)
eaten within 30 minutes of exercising is best for building muscle.
5. Eat breakfast, and then eat every three hours. This keeps
hunger at bay and prevents bingeing late in the day.
6. Keep healthy snacks handy. When traveling, the tendency
is to eat what’s available, so make only good food available.
7. Log your nutrition and fitness. Keeping a daily food and
exercise journal makes weaknesses easy to spot. Baleka makes
this simpler by giving every driver a Mio heart rate monitor and
BodyMedia armband activity monitor.
So how does a guy implement these rules when his schedule
changes daily and he’s at the mercy of the road?
THE TRUCK STOP WORKOUT (AND SHOWER)
It’s a raw November morning at the TravelCenters of Amer-
ica truck stop in London, Ohio, just off I-70. Dressed in gym
trunks and a bright-blue top, Boschee hops down from the cab
and begins his workout. He opens a compartment on the side
of the truck, roots through greasy rags and tools, and pulls out
a jump rope, resistance bands, and a dirty gray exercise mat.
As he sets up, truckers in surrounding cabs swivel their heads
NUMBER OF LONG- HAUL
TRUCKERS WHO SLEEP SI X
OR FEWER HOURS A NI GHT;
34 PERCENT HAVE NODDED
OFF WHI LE DRI VI NG.
Source: National Institute for
Occupational Safety and Health
SLEEP-DEPRIVED
1
Raise Your Bar
Pick snack bars with
at least 10 g protein,
like Nature Valley,
says Siphiwe Baleka,
the coach at Prime.
2
Double the Meat
At Subway, boost
protein and cut carbs:
Instead of a footlong,
opt for a 6-inch
with double meat.
3
Pack Protein
Carry tuna and
salmon in resealable
pouches to toss
on fast-food salads
and soups.
4
DIY Doughnuts
Spread almond but-
ter and jelly on bread,
roll it up, and cut it in
four, says Bob Perry
of Rolling Strong.
5
Fill Up on Tea
For a low-cal
anti oxidant pickup,
drop green tea
bags into your water
bottle, says Perry.
JUSTI N BOSCHEE BANGS
OUT A 15- MI NUTE WORKOUT
AT A DAYTON, OHI O, TRUCK
STOP. OPENI NG SPREAD:
DRI VER RODNEY McCLOUD
TRAI NS AT A TRUCK STOP I N
SPRI NGFI ELD, MI SSOURI .
BIG-RIG MUSCLE MEN
Snacks That
Shrink Your
Spare Tire

his way. There are hundreds of rigs here, parked shoulder-to-
shoulder and emitting a deep collective rumble, which I assume
is coming from truck generators and not the drivers’ stom-
achs. Everyone is killing time until their federally mandated
rest periods are over.
Despite not arriving until 2 a.m. and having to cope with my
tossing in the bunk above him, Boschee looks fresh. He starts out
with rope skipping, pushups, and jumping jacks. Next he dons
an MMA harness he bought at Walmart. The built-in bands add
resistance to his shadowboxing, which he does while he jogs. He
takes off for a few laps around the parking lot just as a driver in
sweatpants and flannel strolls by with two bags from Popeyes.
(Among truckers, fried chicken is a breakfast food.)
Boschee’s workout showcases the spontaneity needed to stay
fit on the road. Since he always has his fitness gear with him, he’s
ready to exercise at a moment’s notice. “The unpredictability of
my job is an advantage,” he says. “It keeps things fresh.”
It helps to be creative too. Driver Rodney McCloud, who won
Prime’s Fittest of the Fleet competition, does forearm slams
against the side of his trailer, knee kicks to the tires, and prone
pullups and dips on the side of his rig. And you can’t argue with
his results. The 46-year-old McCloud weighs 222 pounds and has
a 33-inch waist and 18½-inch biceps. He carries a 300-pound
set of weights in his cab. “Since I started driving in 2008,” says
McCloud, “I’ve seen only one or two other truckers working out
in the lot like I do. People look at you funny, but I don’t care. I
work out in all kinds of weather, and when I’m waiting around
at a shipper, I shadowbox, skip rope, or do pushups. You make
it happen when you can.”
Boschee returns with steam rising off his broad shoulders.
He does more rope-skipping and pushups, plus squats, burpees,
crunches, bicycles, and mountain climbers. After 15 minutes of
nonstop exercise—just as Baleka recommends—he’s back in the
cab, toweling off and slugging a protein drink. “When I work
out, I feel better and have more energy,” he says. “I’m a better
driver because of it. Now what do you say we go grab a shower?”
Since the cab has no plumbing, I know what he’s suggesting—
that we venture into the truck stop to scrub up. Now, let me state
up front that hygiene is important to me and in no way am I
ashamed of my Peterbilt. But the thought of stripping naked with
this crowd has me shuddering like an 18-wheeler downshifting.
“I got you a coupon for a free shower at my last fill-up,” he adds.
“It’s normally $13.” I follow him past the greasy garage bays and
up to the travel store checkout.
“Two showers,” says Boschee, as if he’s ordering a couple of
tins of dip. “I have a coupon.” The checkout lady doesn’t bat a
fake eyelash. She gives him two receipts and tells us to “have a
super day.” After squeezing through the jerky aisle, we pass by
the laundry room and the drivers’ lounge and come to a hall-
way lined with doors. Boschee stops in front of one, punches in
a code from the receipt, and says he’ll meet me back at the truck
in 20 minutes. I stand there, envisioning what awaits me—that
400-pound trucker from Dallas? A convoy of 10-4 good buddies?
But when I enter, I find a private room with brown faux-marble
tiles, a contrasting orange towel set, and—what’s this?—a per-
sonal note. It reads: Thank you for choosing TA London, OH. It
is my goal to offer you the best shower experience I can. I person-
ally cleaned and prepared this shower with you in mind. Please
enjoy our many amenities, such as our two large towels, cloth bath
mat, wash cloth and newly added 4-way adjustable shower head.
—Debbie, Customer Service Attendant
There’s even a mint.
PROPORTI ON OF LONG- HAUL
TRUCK DRI VERS WHO HAVE
ONE OR MORE OF THESE HEALTH
RI SK FACTORS: HYPERTENSI ON,
SMOKI NG, OBESI TY.
Source: National Institute for
Occupational Safety and Health
OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD
TO STAY LEAN AND STRONG,
TRUCKERS LI KE McCLOUD AND
BOSCHEE AND DRI VER COACH
SI PHI WE BALEKA PLAN MEALS
AND SNACKS METI CULOUSLY.
THEY MUST ALSO BE FLEXI BLE
ABOUT WHERE THEY WORK OUT.
ROAD RULES
1
Always Be Ready
Truckers in training
should always carry
workout clothes, an
exercise mat, a jump
rope, and resistance
bands, says Baleka.
And so should you.
2
Drive and Flex
With both hands on
the wheel, contract
your abs for 5 sec-
onds. Do 3 sets of 10,
says George Harris,
Ph.D., C.P.T., who runs
Truckers to Triathletes.
3
Curl a Gallon
A plastic gallon jug
full of water weighs
8 pounds. Perry
suggests keeping
a couple in your
car or hotel room to
use as dumbbells.
The Secrets
of Fitness
on the Road


HOW JUSTIN LOST HIS LOAD
We have 600 miles to cover today to stay on schedule and reach
Prime headquarters in Springfield by midnight. (People are
evidently in desperate need of this Oreo Base Cake.) When I
return to the cab, gleaming like freshly polished chrome after
my shower, Boschee is furiously punching numbers into two
GPS units while consulting a well-thumbed road atlas. I assume
he’s finalizing our route, but it’s actually something much more
important than that.
“I’m looking for a Chipotle,” he says. “Found one! Just outside
St. Louis, with a Walmart across the street for parking.”
So all day long, our high-tech instruments count down not to
our final destination but to upscale fast food. “I like the Burrito
Bowl with double meat,” he tells me a couple of times. That’s not
a bad choice—it’s high in protein, and even the fats are on the
healthy side. On a truck route that’s littered with junk-food road
hazards, he could have broken down in any number of places.
While spontaneity is Boschee’s credo when it comes to exercise,
meal planning is what has enabled him to drop 6 inches from his
waistline in just seven months. He hits Walmart or Sam’s Club
before every long trip, stocking up on water, Greek yogurt, veg-
etables, protein bars, fruit, and other healthy fare. If he’s tempted
by, say, gummy worms (“love ’em!”), he “delays gratification.”
Instead of grabbing them impulsively, he finishes the rest of his
shopping. If the craving hasn’t subsided, he buys them. He uses
the same strategy at restaurants. Instead of immediately order-
ing two Egg McMuffins or burgers, he gets one, enjoys the hell
out of it, waits a few minutes, and then decides if he really wants
another. “I normally don’t,” he says.
Behind the wheel, Boschee sips water and snacks regularly. It’s
all designed to lift his metabolism off that flatline, first with exer-
cise and then with protein-rich foods that require extra energy
to digest. Out of all the adjustments Boschee has made, reduc-
ing processed carbs like cakes, sodas, and bread made the big-
PROPORTI ON OF CRASHES
CAUSED BY TRUCKS, DUE
TO PHYSI CAL FACTORS THAT
AFFECT THE DRI VER OR TO
DRI VER  RECOGNI TI ON FACTORS.
Source: Federal Motor Carrier
Safety Administration
ACCIDENT ALERT
PRI ME’ S DRI VER FI TNESS
COACH, SI PHI WE BALEKA, DOES
A LAWNMOWER ROW. BALEKA
MAI NTAI NED SI NGLE- DI GI T
BODY FAT I N 2012, A YEAR HE
DROVE 150, 000 MI LES AND
SPENT 323 DAYS ON THE ROAD.
DRIVEN TO SUCCESS

gest difference, he says. “When you’re on the road, a lot of it is
emotional eating,” he says. “You get bored or angry, and you eat.
So I always try to have a plan and never have bad stuff on hand.”
The part about the boredom is true. If you thought waiting
around in airports was tedious, you should try watching asphalt
for a living. Our cab is a state-of-the-art 2012 Freightliner Cas-
cadia. The seats are thronelike, and the truck comes loaded with
technology—automatic deceleration if it gets too close to another
vehicle or barrels into a curve too fast, plus a warning system
that blares whenever we cross a lane line. We’re towing 19 tons
of cargo, but it feels like there’s nothing behind us.
So how do you pass the time when you can no longer draw
satisfaction from Cheetos, gummy worms, or even your own
driving ability? In Boschee’s case, you pray and you think—a lot.
“In the Garden of Eden, the apple looked good to Adam and
Eve, but when they ate it, it brought shame,” he says. “I’ve been
the big fat guy my entire life. That’s how
1 SQUAT
2 PI STOL SQUAT
3 SI NGLE- LEG
I CE SKATER
4 J UMPI NG JACK
5 RUNNI NG I N PLACE
6 SHADOWBOXI NG
7 SHADOWBOXI NG
WI T H KI CK
8 LUNGE
9 LUNGE JUMP
10 SQUAT J UMP
11 SI DE- TO- SI DE
TOE- TOUCH JUMP
12 HOP
13 ST EPUP
14 BENCH J UMP
15 MMA- ST YLE
KNEE RAI SE
STANDING
HARD
1 J UMPI NG JACK
2 PLANK
3 RUNNI NG I N PLACE
4 SI DE PLANK
HARDER
1 SQUAT
2 PUSHUP
3 LUNGE
4 SI DE PLANK
WI T H HI P T HRUST
LEFT/ RI GHT
HARDEST
SQUAT J UMP
1
2
4
I LLUSTRATI ONS BY +I SM
The Big-Rig Muscle Anytime, Anywhere Workout
THE TRUCKERS AT PRIME INC. ARE PROVIDED WITH THIS MENU OF
32 BODY-WEIGHT EXERCISES. TO ENSURE A TOTAL-BODY WORKOUT, SIMPLY CHOOSE
TWO TO FOUR STANDING MOVES AND TWO TO FOUR GROUND MOVES.
MH training advisor BJ Gaddour, C.S.C.S., created these
three workouts using the exercise menu. Do the exercises
at 75 to 85 percent of max heart rate for 20 seconds apiece,
interspersed with 10 seconds of rest. That’s 1 cycle. Do up
to 4 cycles with 60 seconds of rest between them.
Find detailed descrip-
tions of these exercises
at MensHealth.com/
trainingcenter.
April 2014 | MENSHEALTH.COM 131
1 DI P
2 PUSHUP
3 DI VE- BOMBER
PUSHUP
4 PUSHUP WI TH
LEG EXTENSI ON
5 SPI DERMAN PUSHUP
6 CRUNCH
7 BI CYCLE CRUNCH
8 HAND- TO- TOE CRUNCH
9 BURPEE
10 PLANK
11 SI DE PLANK
12 SI DE PLANK WI TH
LEG RAI SE
13 SI DE PLANK WI TH
HI P T HRUST
14 MOUNTAI N CLI MBER
15 I N- AND- OUT CRUNCH
16 RUSSI AN T WI ST
17 BI RD DOG
GROUND
3
SPI DERMAN PUSHUP
SI DE PLANK WI TH LEG RAI SE LEFT/ RI GHT
LUNGE JUMP
CONTINUED ON PAGE 159

PAGE

We bought a cow. We
cooked it. And then we
ate it. In the process,
we learned how buying
grass-fed beef in bulk,
directly from the source,
can fortify your health.
BY
PAUL KITA
PHOTOGRAPHS BY
BOB MARTUS
YOUR
RAI SE
ST E AKS

As a pleasure-seeking meat eater, I am increasingly
disappointed by grain-fed supermarket beef. Rib eyes require a slick of
steak sauce to taste meaty. Ground beef has a tacky, greasy consistency.
Tenderloin, even with tender care, always leaves me underwhelmed. So I
decided to stop complaining about mass-market beef and find a rancher.
I wanted to know my cattle producer. I wanted to know my cow.
My cow never had a name; Pomanti can’t bring herself to name cows headed
for slaughter. But he did have a good life. My cow spent his first 10 months
growing strong on his mother’s milk, sticking close by her side. Then Pomanti
separated my cow and his mother into different pens. My cow bawled. His
mother mooed. It was for the best. Once Mom stopped producing milk, the
two were reunited, but my cow now preferred delicious, nutritious grass.
Over the next year and a half, my cow grew an impressive coat of thick,
coarse hair. Because he wouldn’t be subjected to the diseases and indigni-
ties of the industrial feedlot, he didn’t need antibiotics or growth hormones.
Those substances wouldn’t end up in me or my fiancée, either.
Last October, my cow was loaded onto a truck and taken to Rising Spring
Meat Company, an organic butcher outside State College, Pennsylvania. There
he was held in a pen, calm and comfortable, until he was humanely shot in the
head. The carcass was then halved and hung in a cooler to dry-age, a process
that helps tenderize the meat, for about 14 days.
Next my cow was cut into pieces, vacuum-sealed, and delivered to Pomanti.
She summoned me for the handoff. Out of her massive freezer units she pulled
bags bursting with marrow bones, globular ground beef portions, and a tender-
loin the size of Popeye’s forearm. I drove the box of beef back home that day,
dreaming of meals to come, under a sky with clouds that looked like heifers.
THE BEEF WITH BEEF
As a typical American, you ate a hefty 51 pounds
of beef last year, the USDA says. That’s roughly
the equivalent of 65 T-bones, 204 quarter-pound
burger patties, or one Kim Kardashian rump roast.
The National Cattlemen’s Beef Association
notes that less than 1 percent of beef sold at retail
is labeled as grass-fed. During the “finishing,” the
animal begins to lay down more fat in relation to
muscle and bone growth, says Cindy Daley, Ph.D., who
studies beef at California State University. Until the
1950s, ranchers finished cattle exclusively on grass.
But industrial producers realized that grain feeding
improved fat marbling while cutting the days until
slaughter. After decades of eating the stuff, we now
prefer fattier beef. But at the same time, our rates
of diseases linked to inflammation rose.
Could grain-fed cows and inflammation be con-
nected? A 2011 Irish study found that people who
replaced their regular red meat with three weekly
servings of grass-fed red meat for a month improved
their inflammation-fighting omega-3 fatty acid
profiles by 37 percent over those of people who
ate the same amount of grain-finished red meat.
Though the diet studies are too small to be con-
clusive, a 2010 research review led by Daley found
that grass-fed beef outclassed grain-fed nutrition-
ally, with triple the immune-boosting vitamin E, up
to five times the heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids,
and seven times the antioxidant carotenoids.
If grass-fed beef was going to treat me better, I
needed to return the favor. So I began contacting
chefs. The recipes that follow taught me key kitchen
skills, but they also taught me something deeper:
If you know your beef, you love it even more.
THE COW I ATE WAS BORN IN APRIL 2011 IN RURAL
PENNSYLVANIA. s CATHY POMANTI, THE OWNER
OF SUGAR HILL FARM, MIDWIFED MY CALF INTO
THE WORLD. POMANTI RAISES GRASS-FED ORGANIC
SCOTTISH HIGHLAND COWS, A SHAGGY BREED
YIELDING MEAT THAT’S AMONG THE TASTIEST ON
THE PLANET. ON ONE FARM VISIT, MY FIANCÉE
SAW A HIGHLANDER, WENT QUIET, AND THEN SAID,
“I DON’T WANT TO EAT THEM. I WANT TO HUG THEM.”
BUT I WAS HUNGRY FOR A COW TO CALL MY OWN.
“With grain-fed
beef, you’re
tasting a
richness, but
it’s not the
real flavor. It’s
like cooking
vegetables
with a lot of
butter: You
can’t taste the
vegetables.”
—ALICE WATERS
134 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014

2 L B GR A S S - F E D OX TA I L S
1 T BS P KOS HE R S A LT
4 C UP S BE E F S T OC K
2 T BS P OL I V E OI L
1¾ C UP S R E D WI NE
2 BAY L E AV E S
1 S MA L L HE A D GA R L I C,
HA LV E D C ROS S WI S E
1 S P R I G T HY ME
3 BL AC K P E P P E R C OR NS
1 L A R GE C A R ROT, P E E L E D
A ND ROUGHLY C HOP P E D
3 C E L E RY S TA L K S,
ROUGHLY C HOP P E D
1 ME DI UM Y E L LOW
ONI ON, QUA RT E R E D
1 C UP DR A I NE D C A NNE D
T OMAT OE S, C HOP P E D
OXTAILS
IN
RED WINE
What You’ll Need
1. For the best flavor,
salt the oxtails two
days before cooking.
2. Trim the oxtails
of excess fat. In a
medium saucepan,
cook the stock over
medium heat until
reduced by half,
about 30 minutes.
3. In a skillet, heat the
oil on medium. Pat
the oxtails dry and
brown them, 3 to 4
minutes. Set aside.
Wipe the skillet, add
the wine, stir, and
cook it down by half,
about 5 minutes.
Add the stock.
4. Preheat the oven to
300°F. In a roasting
pan, add the remain-
ing ingredients; add
stock to cover by
a third. Simmer on
medium low. Cover.
5. Place the pan in the
oven and cook 3½ to
4 hours. Then crack
the lid and cook
until the meat is very
tender, another 20
to 30 minutes. Serve
oxtails with sauce.
Makes 8 servings
How to Make It
RAISE YOUR STEAKS

“The best way
to experience
grass-fed beef,
because it’s
so lean, is
to eat it raw.”
—MARC FORGIONE
GRASS-FED
BEEF
TARTARE
1. In a small bowl, mix
the onion, parsley,
cornichons, and
anchovies. Reserve.
2. In a blender or food
processor, add the
mustard, Tabasco,
Worcestershire,
and 2 Tbsp olive
oil. Puree, gradually
adding the remain-
ing olive oil until
emulsified. Reserve.
3. Place the tenderloin
in the freezer for
about 5 minutes for
easier cutting. Then,
working quickly,
slice it into ¼-inch-
thick pieces.
4. In a medium serv-
ing bowl, combine
the meat with the
reserved ingredients.
Season with salt
and pepper to taste.
Mix well.
5. Chill in the fridge for
10 minutes before
serving atop warm
toast. Makes 8 serv-
ings as an appetizer
How to Make It
2 T BS P MI NC E D ONI ON
1 T S P MI NC E D PA R S L E Y
1 T BS P MI NC E D
C OR NI C HONS
2-3 A NC HOV I E S, MI NC E D
½ T BS P DI J ON MUS TA R D
2-3 DAS HE S TABAS C O S AUC E
2 T S P WOR C E S T E R S HI R E
S AUC E
½ C UP P L US 2 T BS P
OL I V E OI L
1 L B GR A S S - F E D
BE E F T E NDE R LOI N
S E A S A LT A ND F R E S HLY
GROUND BL AC K P E P P E R
WA R M T OA S T
What You’ll Need
RAISE YOUR STEAKS

I needed to do something special with the most
prestigious cut of my cow: the 14-pound stand-
ing rib roast. The meal should be special but also
very simple, says Donald Link, owner and executive
chef of Cochon and Butcher in New Orleans. Any-
thing too fussy would only detract from its intense,
glorious beefiness.
For maximum flavor, you want to cook this behe-
moth roast only to medium rare, Link told me (rec-
ipe on next spread). Because the cut is so large, the
preparation and resting stages are critical. If the
meat is too cold before it enters the oven, it’ll be
raw in the center when it exits. If you carve into it
immediately after cooking, you’ll lose a reservoir
of delicious juices. Patience is paramount.
And the rewards are well worth the wait: “Good
grass-fed beef tastes cleaner. You don’t have that
heavy feeling in your gut after you eat it,” Link says.
I heard similar accolades from the friends and fam-
ily members I invited over to dinner. In fact, most
people said the steaks, liver, or carne asada I’d served
them tasted “like beefier beef” and “less greasy.”
One guest who tasted the rib roast said she woke
up the morning after our dinner fantasizing about
the beef from the night before.
There’s a certain comfort in dissociating yourself
from the animal you’re eating for dinner. If you
don’t think about where on the cow’s body the
meat comes from, you don’t have to contemplate
the death and dismemberment involved in its trip
to your plate. The oxtail, however, made a very spe-
cific statement about its origins. It came to me in
three pieces, which, because of my morbid curios-
ity, I arranged to reconstruct the entire appendage.
I imagined my cow using it to swat flies. It wasn’t
simply a meal. It was a sacrifice.
Alice Waters, executive chef of Chez Panisse
in Berkeley, California, and founder of the Edible
Schoolyard Project, recommends cooking oxtail in
a classic braise (recipe on previous spread). “With
grain-fed beef, you’re tasting a richness and ten-
derness, but it’s not the real flavor,” Waters says.
“It’s like cooking vegetables with a lot of butter:
You can’t taste the vegetables.” Her technique,
inspired by a recipe from Zuni Café in San Fran-
cisco, matches the beautiful beefiness of the rustic
cut while also turning it fork-tender.
Bonus: You can apply the same braising tech-
nique to other tough bone-in cuts your purveyor
may pass along, such as shanks or short ribs.
Marc Forgione, owner and executive chef of Res-
taurant Marc Forgione in New York City, told me
I should start by not cooking the beef at all. “The
best way to experience grass-fed beef, because it’s
so lean, is to eat it raw,” says Forgione.
When I asked him if it was dangerous to eat DIY
steak tartare (recipe opposite), Forgione told me
to grow a pair. As long as the beef is high in qual-
ity and its temperature never rises above 40°F for
longer than 40 minutes, your risk of illness will be
very low, he says. And Pomanti, for her part, says
bacterial contamination among her cattle is vir-
tually nonexistent. (It pays to know your source.)
So I sharpened my knives for a rare opportunity.
The result was a luscious tartare that topped varia-
tions I’ve tasted at the country’s top steakhouses.
Of the 51 pounds of cow you ate last year, about half
was ground. Here’s a scary fact: U.S. ground beef
is not easily traced and may not even be from the
United States, a 2013 review in Meat Science reveals.
All the more reason to buddy up to a rancher.
You can make a grass-fed beef burger (I did),
but you’d be depriving your tastebuds if you didn’t
venture beyond familiar ground. “Grass-fed beef
is very lean by nature. Grinding beef for burgers
involves adding fat, and if you’re using grass-fed,
you lose something,” says Sang Yoon, executive chef
of Father’s Office and Lukshon in L.A. That some-
thing, he says, is the herbaceous flavor imparted by
the cow’s diet. Make larb instead, Yoon says (recipe
on next spread). This Southeast Asian dish packs
a barrage of fresh herbs to flatter grass-fed beef.
The
Tenderloin
The
Oxtail
The
Ground Beef
The Bone-In
Beef Rib Roast

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THE END OF THE TALE
When my tour of the special cuts was complete, I dug for the last
of the T-bones that were stashed aside the cow’s heart (yes, the
heart) in the freezer. Steaks were the first cuts I cooked, and I
still craved them. Naomi Pomeroy, the executive chef of Beast in
Portland, Oregon, had taught me to sear them to a juicy medium
rare. She’s a pro; she cooks grass-fed beef exclusively.
I preheated my oven to 350°F and placed a cast-iron skillet
over medium heat. I cranked some freshly ground black pep-
per and scattered kosher salt over each side of the steak. Then
I added a good knob of butter to the skillet, allowed it to melt,
and followed it with the steak and a few sprigs of parsley and
thyme. I listened for the sizzling to subside, awaiting the aroma
of a baseball field on a hot summer day. Those signs told me it
was time to flip the meat and then slide it into the oven, skillet
and all. There it basked for five minutes until the interior tem-
perature reached 122°F. Out of the oven it came. I then basted
The Math on Buying Beef in Bulk
SHOULD YOU SHELL OUT THE CASH FOR YOUR OWN NUTRIENT-PACKED
GRASS-FED COW? THESE DIGITS MAY HELP YOU DECIDE.
F
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4.78
Average amount per
pound, in dollars,
that grass-fed beef
will cost you over
the typical grain-
finished kind found
in supermarkets
12
Number of cuts in the
author’s 54-pound
eighth of a cow, which
included steaks,
brisket, ground beef,
whole tenderloin,
liver, and soup bones
Cubic feet of freezer
space needed to
store a typical eighth
of a grass-fed cow.
A standard (empty)
fridge freezer has
4 to 10 cubic feet.
3

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LARB
CRACKED
BLACK PEPPER BEEF
RIB ROAST
1 GR A S S - F E D BE E F
R I B ROA S T ( 1 4 L B)
OL I V E OI L
S E A S A LT A ND F R E S HLY
GROUND BL AC K P E P P E R
What You’ll Need
1. To promote even
doneness, remove
the roast from the
refrigerator 2 hours
before cooking.
2. Place the roast on
a wire rack set on a
baking sheet. The
last 30 minutes prior
to cooking, place
a fan in front of the
meat to dry excess
moisture and foster
caramelization.
3. Preheat the oven to
450°F. Lightly rub
the roast on all sides
with olive oil and
then liberally coat it
with salt and freshly
ground pepper. Set
it back on the wire
rack atop the baking
sheet and place it
in the oven.
4. Cook until well
browned on the out-
side, about 20 min-
utes. Lower the heat
to 275°F and con-
tinue to cook until
a digital thermom-
eter inserted into the
center of the roast
reads 140°F, about
2 hours. Remove the
roast and let it rest
until it’s almost at
room temperature,
about 45 minutes.
5. Serve with roasted
potatoes and a sim-
ple salad. Makes 20
to 25 servings
How to Make It
1. In a small pan on
medium heat, toast
the rice, stirring often.
Cool and grind the
rice to a fine powder
in a clean coffee or
spice grinder.
2. In a wok or big cast-
iron skillet, heat the
oil on medium high
until it shimmers.
Add the beef; cook,
stirring occasion-
ally, until it begins to
brown, 2 to 3 min-
utes. Add the shallot,
garlic, chiles, palm
sugar, and fish sauce.
3. Remove from the
heat and add the
lime juice and rice
powder. Stir well and
season with salt.
4. Let the mixture cool
slightly before serv-
ing. Spoon the mix-
ture into individual
cabbage cups and
garnish with herbs
and scallions. Makes
6 to 8 servings
How to Make It
2 T BS P UNC OOK E D
J A S MI NE R I C E
6 T BS P P E A NUT OI L
12 OZ GR A S S - F E D
GROUND BE E F
1 S HA L LOT, MI NC E D
2 GA R L I C C LOV E S, S L I C E D
2 F R E S H T HA I C HI L E S,
T HI NLY S L I C E D
1 T BS P PA L M S UGA R
2 T BS P F I S H S AUC E
4 T BS P L I ME J UI C E
S E A S A LT, T O TA S T E
1 HE A D OF C A BBAGE ,
L E AV E S S E PA R AT E D
½ C UP C I L A NT RO L E AV E S
½ C UP MI NT L E AV E S
½ C UP T HA I BA S I L L E AV E S
4 S C A L L I ONS, S L I C E D
What You’ll Need
it reverently with the rest of the melted butter, tented some
aluminum foil over the skillet, and let it rest for what seemed
like an eternity. Okay, five minutes.
And then I savored every last juicy, earthy, hearty, powerful,
tender bite. The celebration of my cow was complete.
Yes, grass-fed beef costs more money than the grain-finished
variety, but you’re making that investment to enjoy superior meat
that is less fatty, more nutrient-dense, better for your body, and
certainly better on the palate.
And if you purchase your grass-fed beef in bulk, so much the
better. It can be less expensive than grass-fed cuts you’d find in
the store, for one thing. There’s also something deeply comfort-
ing about possessing a large amount of premium meat. (Zombie
apocalypse be damned!) But because you know the life of your
cow, and the rancher who raised that animal, you also want to
honor that cow in death. It’s not just dinner. It’s your duty.
You can have a heart—and cook one, too. ½ I
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(
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)
Want 12 months
of grass-fed meat?
Tweet why to
@GuyGourmet
with the hashtag
#WinFreeBeef.
WIN FREE BEEF!
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. VOI D WHERE
PROHI BI TED. CONTEST RUNS 3/11/14 TO
4/15/14. MUST BE 18 OR OLDER & LEGAL
RESI DENT OF 49 US OR DC (EXCLUDES
AZ & PR). FOR OFFI CI AL RULES, GO TO
MENSHEALTH. COM/GUY- GOURMET/
WI N- FREE- BEEF. WI NNER BASED ON ENTRY
THAT STATES THE MOST COMPELLI NG
ARGUMENT. SPONSOR: RODALE I NC. , 400
S. 10TH ST. , EMMAUS, PA 18098-0099.
RAISE YOUR STEAKS
April 2014 | MENSHEALTH.COM 139

She Wants You to Watch

BY
ANNA DAVIES
PHOTOGRAPHS BY
JANA CRUDER
141
PAGE
TODAY’S WOMEN
SEEM EAGER TO
BARE AND SHARE:
SELFIES, #HEALTHIES,
SLIT SKIRTS, LIMO
FLASHES, HOTEL
ROOM DARES. I T
GIVES MANY WOMEN
A THRILL AND GETS
THEM AROUSED.
WELCOME TO
THE GOLDEN AGE
OF EXHIBITIONISM.
ENJOY THE SHOW.


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FOREPLAY BEGINS AT THE COCKTAIL BAR WHEN
JEFF SURREPTITIOUSLY SLIPS HIS HAND BENEATH
7+( +(0 2) $11(·6 6.,57 $6 7+( 7:2 *523(
,1 7+( &$% 21 7+(,5 :$< 72 -())·6 $3$570(17
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Years ago, my friends and I shared this sexy black leather mini-
skirt. We dubbed it the “action skirt.” It hit just above mid-thigh,
and, when paired with a low-cut tee, guaranteed rave reviews
from the guys we deemed lucky enough to see it.
That skirt derived its power not only from the fact that it hit
perfectly at mid-thigh. The female body, unlike yours, naturally
holds the suggestion of sex. And through what we wear—a shape-
less hoodie or a tight tank top—we calibrate its suggestiveness.
That power of control is important, says Ogi Ogas, Ph.D., a cognitive
neuroscientist and the coauthor of A Billion Wicked Thoughts.
Ogas assessed the online behavior of more than 100 million peo-
ple and found that while male fantasies focus on orgasm, female
fantasies center on the feeling of being desired. So while a man
might like that a woman wants him, that fact alone won’t turn
him on, says Stephen Snyder, M.D., an associate clinical profes-
sor of psychiatry at Mount Sinai Hospital.
Even more frustrating for you? The tactics we women use
to lure men don’t always work in reverse. Most of us, sadly, just
aren’t fantasizing about the perfect chest-revealing button-down.
That’s because we’re differently wired to select sexual partners
than men are, says David Ley, Ph.D., a psychologist and the author
of Insatiable Wives. We respond to subtler signals—the way you
interact with your friends or how you smell—to decide whether
we’re going home with you and, ultimately, whether you’ll find
out why my friends and I call it the “action skirt” in the first place.
0.2m-0.35m 0.3m-∞
Now, in the privacy of Jeff’s apartment, Anne, 29, glances at the large win-
dows facing the complex next door. She’s making sure the curtains are wide
open. Should his neighbors or anyone else passing by happen to look, they
would have a clear view of Jeff sliding Anne’s panties down her hips and push-
ing her onto the bed, and Anne wrapping her legs around him.
Sex with Jeff is good. But with the curtains open, it’s great. Anne is not shy,
clearly. And she’s not shy about describing what that exposure does to her.
“Knowing that anyone can see us steps up my game,” she says. “It makes every-
thing hotter. I like to imagine people are watching—and that they’re jealous.”
Anne is not alone. I feel the temptation too. So do my girlfriends. Exhibi-
tionism’s allure can be strong whether we’re participants or observers. That’s
why so many of us succumb: It’s your colleague at yoga, Instagramming her-
self in the camel pose, the one that shows off her toned midsection. It’s your
girlfriend, summoning you onto the hotel balcony in her skimpiest lingerie.
It’s total strangers, filling their iPhones with lascivious selfies. There’s an exhi-
bitionist waiting to bust out in most women. And we’re more compelled than
ever to open that door. When we do, what we show you can reveal everything
about what we’d like to see. Here’s why—and how to better enjoy the show.
1
Don’t be afraid to exaggerate a few groans, moans, and grunts.
A “you’re amazing” won’t hurt either. “Women feel a strong
urge to be the object of your desire,” says Ogas.
MAKE SOME NOISE
It’s Fun to
Lure You In

EVERYBODY LOVES
A SHOW-OFF
Think she’s up for
an audience? We
asked more than 500
women when and
where they’d be most
willing to bare it all.
22 16 11 8 5.6 4 2.8 2
This is the annual Sports Bra Challenge, hosted by the non-
profit SEAK Foundation. Ostensibly a charity fundraiser, the
event also aims to build “confidence through fitness.” One way is
by making women feel prouder of their bodies and more accept-
ing of their flaws. In a setting like this, it’s no longer about turning
men on—that’s a side effect. It’s really a not-so-subtle reminder
that nobody’s perfect and that we have nothing to hide. When
a woman accepts that idea, she feels instantly sexier and more
confident. Like Lena Dunham. And when you’re riding such a
wave of endorphins, well, it’s forgivable to show off a little.
On Instagram, you can search hashtags like #healthie and find
thousands of women (okay, men too) proudly revealing what
their workouts have wrought—toned arms, cast-iron glutes. On
Facebook, the group Yeah, She Squats—devoted to “empowering
women to flaunt that hard-earned bum”—boasts nearly 1 million
followers. (Yeah, She Benches has 250,000-plus.)
Let’s be clear: Nothing stops men from ogling, sharing, and
commenting here—and plenty of them do. We’ll take the likes
and the compliments, but you’re not who we’re after.
As Laura, 30, who posts racy Instagram photos of herself pole
dancing under the username @lovepeacepole, explains, “It’s lib-
erating to show off what your body can do, not just what it looks
like. I used to be self-conscious, but now I’m not.” And her out-
fits? Often she wears just a bra and panties. “I don’t think of it as
revealing. It’s as practical as a swimsuit or a leotard.”
Chloe Carmichael, Ph.D., a psychologist in Manhattan who spe-
cializes in self-esteem issues, says it’s merely a way for women to
assert themselves, like blogging or speaking up in a group: “The
point isn’t necessarily to be dominant or seek attention; it’s to
show that she’s confident in herself.”
A typical photo in the Yeah, She Benches Facebook group per-
fectly captures that kick-ass philosophy: In the photograph, a
superfit, sweat-soaked woman stands alone, clad in nothing but
a sports bra and workout pants, performing a near-perfect dead-
lift. The caption: “Just another night at the bar.”
On an otherwise normal sunny day in a crowded city park, a
throng of people standing shoulder to shoulder is fixating on a
large group of women climbing aboard a row of stationary bikes.
There are wolf whistles, calls to “take it off!” And this time, most
of the women do exactly as they’re told, stripping down to sports
bras and athletic pants. Some reveal shredded six-packs; others
matter-of-factly display belly rolls and stretch marks.
We Like to
Display
Confidence 2
Tell her how sexy that sports bra looks on her: Researchers
in Denmark link a woman’s positive feelings about her body
with higher sexual satisfaction.
POUR ON THE PRAISE
0 2 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
HER WILLINGNESS TO TRY IT
Performing a strip
tease—for you
Sex on a hotel
balcony
Sharing a sex
video on Tumblr
Wearing no bra
and a clingy top
Flashing breasts
at Mardi Gras
Sharing an after-
workout selfie
Sunbathing
naked
Sex in a public
dressing room
7
.
9
4

April 2014 | MENSHEALTH.COM 145
When Kacie, 28, upgraded to an iPhone, she couldn’t resist: She
ducked into the bathroom, turned the phone’s lens on herself, and
snapped a few photos of her naked body. Before she even peeked
at the results, she regretted it. “I’m not superskinny, and I used
to be incredibly self-conscious. At the gym, I’d notice if my stom-
ach jiggled or if my legs were bigger than the girl’s next to me.”
But when she could control the angle of her photos—and
delete the bad ones—Kacie realized something: She could look
hot. Buoyed, she took more photos, settling on her best come-
hither pose—splayed across her sheets, wearing nothing but a
towel. She texted the photo to her boyfriend—a first.
The effect of camera phones—combined with social media—
is obvious. Digital photography means unlimited chances to get
it right. Editing tools make flaws vanish. Researchers at Cornell
University found that when people looked at their Facebook pro-
file, their self-esteem improved more than if they simply looked
in the mirror. The researchers posit that this is because people
present their best self on the social media site.
“Posting risqué selfies on social media is also much more
impersonal than exposing oneself in front of a live audience; it
allows a certain distance,” says Rick McAnulty, Ph.D., an associ-
ate professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina
at Charlotte. Psychologists call it selective self-representation.
Our phone lets us show the best version of ourselves, and that’s
enough to plant the seed of exhibitionism in pretty much anyone.
Exhibitionism
Puts Us
in Control
I found myself
making out
with him in
a cab. We
stumbled into
his place and
I shoved him
onto the bed,
not caring
that the lights
were on and
the shades
up. I liked his
eyes on me,
darting from
my breasts
to my hips.
When Gabrielle, 27, dresses up for a Friday night out, she ponders
more about what her friends will think than how her boyfriend
will react. “If other women say I look hot, I know it’s true,” she says.
Researchers at the University of Nebraska found that women
look at other women in the same way men do. The female study
participants who looked at photos of college-age women stared
just as long at the women’s breasts as the men did.
Similarly, researchers at Emory University found that hetero-
sexual women often respond on a psychological level to erotic
photos of other women. “When women exhibit themselves to
other women, it can reveal pleasure in their femininity and fos-
ter camaraderie,” says Deanna Holtzman, Ph.D., a professor of
psychology at Wayne State University. “It also conveys a sense
of power in the female body and what it can do.”
And when a woman feels so emboldened, the benefits for the
man in her life is palpable. Take the time I reunited with an ex.
We’d caught up before, but our meetings had always been platonic.
This time, drinks turned into shots. Soon I found myself mak-
ing out with him in a cab. We stumbled into his place and I shoved
him onto the bed, not caring that the lights were on and the shades
up. I liked his eyes on me, darting from my breasts to my hips.
“Wow,” he said later, catching his breath. “You used to be lights
off, under the covers. What happened?”
I shrugged, shifting the sheet so it fell to my waist. “I guess
you finally saw the real me.”
We Want to
Impress Other
Women Too 3 4
Suggest that she try Zumba instead of her daily run.
The classes skew female, and that boost in camaraderie
could translate positively to the bedroom. ½
CLASS IT UP CALL OUT SPECIFICS
In the flattery game, details matter big time. “Women think
about their hair, their skin, their figure,” says Dr. Snyder, “and
they imagine that you’re noticing too.”

Men are lazy.
They’re know-it-
alls. They don’t
collaborate
well. They can’t
commit. True?
Perhaps. Now
go turn your
bad habits into
big money.
BY
RICHARD CONNIFF
PHOTOGRAPHS BY
TRAVIS RATHBONE
146 P
A
G
E


P
r
o
p

s
t
y
l
i
n
g
:

S
a
r
a
h

G
u
i
d
o
/
H
a
l
l
e
y

R
e
s
o
u
r
c
e
s
SURE, MEN HAVE GAINED MOST OF
THE NEW JOBS CREATED IN THE
CURRENT ECONOMIC REBOUND. BUT
LOUSY PAY, LONG HOURS, AND
LIMITED CHANCE FOR ADVANCEMENT
SEEM TO BE THE NEW REALITY. AND
WITH A LOT OF OTHER GUYS STILL
SCROUNGING FOR WORK, THERE’S
NOT MUCH POINT IN COMPLAINING.
S
Exhibit A Nate Weiner, a criminal jus-
tice dropout turned 3D animator and
founder of Pocket, an article-clipping
app used by 10 million people.
Are You a Dropout? Bored with the
same old? Like to learn new stuff on
your own? Thrive on challenge?
Become a Success Waiting around
for someone to respond to all those
applications you’ve been sending
out (especially if your education is
sketchy) can be like waiting for one
of the Laker Girls to text you for a
date. It’s probably not going to hap-
pen. Even if you do manage to sneak
past the computer algorithms that
sort most applications into the waste-
basket, the people doing the hiring
often drag the process out through
endless interviews. An uncertain economy has left them terrified of making the wrong
move, or any move at all. So they hunt for unattainable perfection, or what Massachusetts
human resources executive Roger C. Ahlfeld calls “the purple squirrel.”
Instead of waiting, start something on your own. That was the approach taken by Mark
Raybin, now 33 and living in York, Pennsylvania. Raybin grew up displaying all the traits
of unruly boyhood/manhood, including an abrasive personality and a failure to thrive in
the classroom—in fact, his high school tossed him out when he was in 10th grade. “I was
not a nice person to be around,” he admits. “I had an attitude.”
He also bailed on college after just one semester because he
couldn’t handle the stress, and took a job as a cook. According
to the failed-male stereotype, Raybin should have remained
trapped in a dead-end life. But he’d always loved learning—at
his own pace, using a computer. “It helps calm me,” he says.
So three years ago, he shifted his life in a new direction. First
he offered to design the menu at the restaurant where he was
working; then he started bidding for entry-level graphic design
gigs at the online job site oDesk. Gradually, Raybin built a repu-
tation for doing good work. To teach himself business strategy,
he studied the online bids of successful designers. He found out
which new skills employers needed and then acquired them, often
with the help of online instructional videos. (He’d tell clients he
went to the University of YouTube.) But within a year of quitting
his restaurant job, he had doubled his earnings. Then, late last
year, a client he’d met on oDesk hired him full-time for a start-
ing salary in the high five figures. Raybin still works from home.
SCHOOL
PAYS
Don’t skimp on
school. You still have
to learn to think,
speak, and write
clearly. Earning a col-
lege degree remains
the best way to obtain
those skills, open
your mind, and build
a bigger future.
In fact, the workplace men are returning to is a
radically altered version of the one that tossed so
many of them into the streets in 2008. Professions
traditionally pursued by women—health care, edu-
cation—have grown. But manufacturing, construc-
tion, and other sectors that typically employ men
are still stuck below prerecession levels.
What’s a guy to do? Surrender his male card at
the door of the new office? Maybe not. Many of the
traits men take heat for are exactly the attributes
they need to thrive in the new workplace. This entre-
preneurial world is starting to look like a better way
to live and work, with short-term assignments you
can cherry-pick and deliver remotely.
Companies aren’t going to commit to you any-
more. So why should you commit to them? The
Affordable Care Act now makes health insurance
portable, so it’s easier to sell your service to the high-
est bidder—and screw the benefits. It’s also easier
for you to go it alone because job sites like oDesk,
Elance, Freelancer, and Guru offer daily menus of
short-term assignments. Jobs on these sites used
to focus heavily on computer programming. Now
offerings have expanded to include accounting,
law, financial services, and just about every other
employment category.
“Sixty-nine percent of men on Elance who have
been in a corporate job say they’re happier in an
online world,” says Rich Pearson, the firm’s chief
marketing officer. DIY used to be confined to the
workbench in the garage. Now it’s your career plan.
Let’s consider the types of guys who could have
been voted Least Likely to Succeed in school and
who now may be positioned for success.
Perhaps you’re one of them.
Where the Jobs Are
NOT EVERY CAREER FIELD IS SHRINKING. AND YOU CAN GAIN TRAINING, EXPERTISE,
AND EXPERIENCE ONLINE (WITHOUT CHANGING OUT OF YOUR PAJAMAS).
Source: Economic Modeling Specialists Intl. (EMSI), a CareerBuilder company
100,000
50,000
0
20,000
THE
DROPOUT
104,348
Software
Developers,
Applications
and Software
Marketing
Specialists
Web
Developers
Training and
Development
Specialists
Logisticians Meeting,
Convention,
and Event
Planners
10,867
11,241
11,897
13,364
18,042
54,979
Database
Administrators
J
o
b
s

a
d
d
e
d

s
i
n
c
e

2
0
1
0
P
r
o
p

s
t
y
l
i
n
g
:

S
a
r
a
h

G
u
i
d
o
/
H
a
l
l
e
y

R
e
s
o
u
r
c
e
s

Companies
aren’t going to
commit to you
anymore.
So why should
you commit
to them?
Now it’s easier
to sell your
service to the
highest bidder.

Guys who
wouldn’t fit
most company
cultures can
now earn a
decent living—
and even work
for Fortune
500 clients—
from a safe
distance.

Exhibit A Mike Scanlin, who quit a steady job as
a venture capitalist to launch an investment tool
called BornToSell.com.
Are You an Outsourcer? Do you delegate well? Pre-
fer to focus on what you do best rather than being
a generalist? Comfortable asking for help?
Become a Success A few years ago, Scanlin, 48,
came to the realization that his high-pressure
venture capital career
in Silicon Valley was
burning him out. So he
walked away from his
steady paycheck and
launched BornToSell.
com, a firm that helps
investors decide when
to purchase or sell a
particular type of con-
servative investment.
“You can’t outsource
idea creation,” Scanlin
says, but everything else
is fair game. He found
hired guns online and
was able to start his
business with $45,000
in savings instead of a
$600,000 loan. “In Silicon Valley, there’s this cult
of the lean startup,” says Fidler. You hire for the
moment of need, not for the long term. He believes
that a “distributed workforce,” which Scanlin used
to perfection, is the future of employment.
That kind of employment can be a good fit with
men’s tendency to be a little expedient in their work-
place relationships. Men often form work friend-
ships based on shared ambitions and activities, not
on the strong emotional bonds that women typi-
cally form. It’s a skins-and-shirts mentality: I’ll play
hard for your side this time, and next time I’ll play
just as hard for the other side. But to build a career,
just be careful to stay friends with both sides. ½
Research assistance by Danielle Austin,
Alex Gardner, and Brendan Klinkenberg
OUTSOURCING
INSIDER
Network the smart
way. For what sociol-
ogist Brayden King,
Ph.D., calls “optimal
distinctiveness,”
join specific interest
groups on LinkedIn
and use your exper-
tise to connect with
company insiders.
Exhibit A Eric Friedman, CTO and
cofounder of Fitbit, who parlayed
his technical skill into a career as an
innovator while avoiding the pres-
sures that a CEO may take on.
Are You an Online Mystery Man? Pre-
fer the development side? Want to
play an integral role, just not front
and center? Driven to meet individ-
ual challenges?
Become a Success You are living in
your perfect era, where a substantial
portion of communication no longer
takes place in person. And without
long-term jobs, you may be more
focused on a “get ’er done” mental-
ity to help build your reputation. As
you’re moving from team to team,
much of the rapport building hap-
pens by e-mail, phone, and Skype,
not face-to-face. So guys who weren’t comfortable in the classroom and who wouldn’t
fit into most company cultures can now earn a decent living—and even work for Fortune
500 clients—from a safe distance. Working online can also help men overcome what
some experts say is their single greatest handicap—lack of education. Men continue to
fall behind women at earning advanced degrees. But online work often doesn’t require
a degree; you just need skills and a reputation for using them to produce good results.
“Your reputation follows you around now,” says Devin Fidler,
research director at the Institute for the Future, an independent
think tank in Palo Alto. It’s like the numerical way sellers and
buyers are rated on eBay. “When I go to oDesk to hire some-
body, I can see a portfolio of work they’ve done before, see how
they’ve been rated by everyone who hired them in the past, and
see different dimensions of that, for timeliness, professional-
ism, quality, all these different elements.” Online job platforms
also typically offer qualification tests for different skills. So job
seekers can take the test to demonstrate ability, and prospec-
tive employers can see how they scored. “Your reputation is so
laid out that the last thing people look at when they’re hiring on
oDesk is what school you went to,” says Fidler.
Men have two advantages in the new workplace. They’re more
willing to accept risk than women are, and they’re also more
likely to negotiate favorable terms up front. According to the
National Bureau of Economic Research, women tend to avoid sal-
ary negotiation unless someone says the salary is, um, negotiable.
MYSTERY
MANNERS
Be generous online.
Post three positive
com ments about
other people for every
one you post about
your own good deeds.
And don’t be a troll;
virtual manners are
important in a virtual
work environment.
Less Skilled More Skilled
Where the Skills Are
MODERATELY SKILLED? THAT’S THE DANGER ZONE. JOB GROWTH HAS BEEN GREATEST
FOR EITHER LOW-SKILLED OR SUPERSKILLED WORKERS. AND GUESS WHO’S PAID MORE.
C
h
a
n
g
e

i
n

s
h
a
r
e

o
f

e
m
p
l
o
y
m
e
n
t
-0.2%
0.4%
0%
Source: American Economic Review
April 2014 | MENSHEALTH.COM 151 I LLUSTRATI ONS BY R. KI KUO JOHNSON
THE GUY WHO
GETS OTHER PEOPLE TO DO
HIS WORK FOR HIM
THE ONLINE
MYSTERY MAN

We think of
sleep as a
safe haven.
Actually, it
holds as
many dangers
as the rest
of our lives.
Maybe more.
BY
T.E. HOLT, M.D.
PHOTOGRAPHS BY
JOHN MIDGLEY
PAGE


DOCTOR: “HOW DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT?”
PATIENT: “HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I SLEPT THROUGH IT.”
I HEAR THIS FROM TIME TO TIME, AND USUALLY I
SUSPECT THAT I’M PLAYING THE STRAIGHT MAN IN SOME
DIMLY REMEMBERED VAUDEVILLE ROUTINE. THE LAST
TIME I HEARD IT, HOWEVER, WAS FROM A PATIENT SO OLD
D

April 2014 | MENSHEALTH.COM 155
Sleep disturbance is
usually situational and
transient. If it’s chronic,
it’s either a matter of
poor sleep hygiene or
a symptom of an under-
lying medical prob-
lem. Sleeping pills
can’t help in either of
those cases. They can,
however, create new
problems. Most over-
the-counter types are
based on compounds
that degrade your per-
formance the next day
and can cause difficulty
urinating, constipation,
tooth decay, and erec-
tile dysfunction, among
other things. And with
prescription sleep aids,
there are even reports
of people engaging in
dangerous activities
in their sleep—such as
driving—under the influ-
ence of those meds.
With long-term use, any
sleep aid, whether it’s
physiologically addic-
tive or not, can cause
a behavioral depen-
dency that can turn you
into a chronic insom-
niac. Bottom line: Avoid
these meds unless a
doctor who specializes
in sleep disorders has
prescribed them. —T.H.
Do I Need a
Sleeping Pill?
SHORT ANSWER:
PROBABLY NOT.
that he might have remembered vaudeville. After we had our
laugh, he said, half to himself, “You know, you miss a lot sleeping.”
I thought about this comment a couple of weeks later when I
learned he had died—in his sleep. Prescience? I doubt it. But as
I reflect on one of the oddest features of life, I think I understand.
SLEEP. THE THIRD OF OUR LIVES THAT DOESN’T BELONG TO US,
the part we miss out on as we give up control and let who-knows-
what go on around our oblivious, snoring selves: What’s that
about? Sleep is a mystery. Which is why so many researchers are
busy digging into it, working late in their labs as others snooze.
According to a standard textbook in the field, sleep is “a revers-
ible behavioral state of perceptual disengagement from and unre-
sponsiveness to the environment.” In other words, you close
your eyes, you’re out of it, you wake up. Simple.
Or not. It turns out that all three stages of that scheme are
fraught with complications.
One of the most common problems that can complicate sleep
is not being able to. Nearly a third of us routinely have trouble
sleeping; about 40 percent of us have a hard time staying asleep at
least a few nights a week. Many of us spend the occasional night
watching the clock creep on into the bleak a.m. hours, waiting
for sunrise. But insomnia isn’t just a rotten way to ruin a night
and the day after. It’s also really bad for you.
Insomnia comes in a variety of forms: sleep-onset (can’t fall
asleep), sleep-maintenance (can’t stay asleep), sleep-offset
(early morning awakenings), and nonrestorative sleep (persis-
tent sleepiness despite adequate sleep duration). Some people
suffer from a combination of the four.
No matter which part of the night finds you staring into the
darkness, the real risk with insomnia is what happens to you
the day after: drowsiness, fatigue, irritability, slow thinking, and
difficulty functioning in social or work situations. In fact, sleep
deprivation could eventually make you demented. Neuroscien-
tists at the University of Rochester have discovered that during
sleep (in rodents, at least), drainage channels open up in the
brain, allowing it to clear waste products that have been impli-
cated in the development of a variety of neurological disorders,
including Alzheimer’s disease.
Protecting our brains from harm may be one answer to the
fundamental question:
Why sleep at all?
Answers to that question span a range of theories. Sleep, accord-
ing to one hypothesis, down-regulates your metabolism so your
body has a chance to repair the DNA damage done by all those
free radicals churned up during the day. This may partly explain
why your risk for a multitude of diseases goes up as your sack
time goes down.
Experiments with zebrafish (yes, fish sleep) have suggested
that we also sleep to replenish our energy stores. Our cells use
a molecule called ATP to fuel almost everything they do. Burn-
ing ATP produces adenosine as a waste byproduct. If you give
adenosine-blocking drugs to zebrafish, they become insomni-
acs. Boost their levels of adenosine? Sleepy zebrafish. It seems
sleep may be a response to accumulated emissions from our
cellular power stations, signaling that the cells have exhausted
their fuel supply for the day and need to shut down in order to
refuel for tomorrow.
The theory that has received the most attention in recent
years has to do with the role of sleep in human learning and
memory. The sleeping brain isn’t the quiet place you might think
it is. While you’re seemingly dead to the world, parts of your
brain are working overtime, replaying the events of the day.
Evidently, this repetition allows your brain to consolidate expe-
riences into long-term memory. Failure to accomplish this con-
solidation is one reason why you’re so foggy after a sleepless
night. And it’s another reason why those all-night college cram
sessions rarely yielded an A.
Sleep also seems to be necessary for motor learning. Any
motor skill you practiced the day before, whether it’s keeping
your slice under control or learning how to flip an omelet, isn’t
going to stick if you can’t conk out. Rehab after brain injury is
similarly dependent on regular z’s.
From lowering your handicap to recovering from one, the
reasons for sleeping are numerous. It’s no wonder our bodies
demand that we dedicate so much of our lives to this strange
process—and do so in a manner that leaves us exposed to the
occasional predator exploring our cave or the random prank-
ster with a bowl of warm water.

People with
a neurological
condition that
keeps them
from entering
REM sleep will
die not from
lack of sleep,
but possibly
from lack
of dreams.
SELF-INFLICTED SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS COMMON, AND IN A LOT
of cases the cause is our jobs. Shift work is especially toxic.
Whether the job is at an all-night supermarket or a mission-
critical server farm, work keeps many people on schedules so far
out of sync with their internal clocks that they never sleep enough
to allow them to think straight and maintain their health. Even
for day workers, the combination of job stress and excessive inter-
connectedness has made it harder and harder to keep work out
of the bedroom. Nothing will wreck a night’s sleep like reading a
cranky e-mail from your boss just before you turn out the light.
Of course, your boss will sleep better after sending it.
The things we do in an effort to relax don’t help. Much of the
programming we view on the hundreds of cable channels avail-
able 24-7 is punctuated by loud explosions, artfully generated
tension, jittery jump cuts, and other forms of cognitive and dra-
matic violence: These are not what your brain needs if it’s plan-
ning on sleeping anytime soon.
And it isn’t just the programming: All that light in your face
actually resets your internal clock, tricking your brain into
thinking it’s 7 a.m. when it’s really only 1 a.m. The number of
people watching television in bed seems to be on the decline—
but only because we’re streaming video, monitoring our social
networks, or catching up with work-related e-mail on our tab-
lets and phones instead. And the blue light emitted from these
devices, combined with the tendency to hold them close to our
faces, means the effect may be even stronger.
HE’S A GENERALLY HEALTHY GUY IN HIS EARLY
30s, and as a consequence I don’t see him very
often. But he’s here today, he says, because he
“feels like hell.” And he looks like hell: deep shad-
ows under his eyes and that slumped posture
that goes with end-stage anything. But beyond
that, he doesn’t look really sick. Just exhausted.
“So what’s going on?” I ask.
He shakes his head wearily. “They laid off half our office staff
last fall, and it’s been all I can do to keep my head above water. By
the time I get home, I’m half dead. I just sit in front of the tube.
My wife is hating it. I’m barking at the kids. It’s no kind of life.”
I agree. After a couple dozen more questions and a physical
exam, I can’t find anything seriously wrong, which is good; most
diseases that could reduce a healthy young man to this kind of wreck
would be bad news. I ask him to tell me again about his evenings.
“That’s the weird thing, doc,” he says. “You’d think being that
tired I’d sleep like a log. But by the time I get to bed, I just can’t.”
A few more questions. Not surprisingly, he’s living on coffee and
energy drinks. Also to be expected, he’s so stressed by all this that he
has a drink or two with dinner. And then he and his wife watch TV
in bed while he’s online, catching up on e-mails he couldn’t answer
during the day. When he finally turns out the lights around 11, he
finds that he’s wide awake.
This guy isn’t sick. He’s sleep deprived. Which may not be a
disease, but it can kill you anyway.
156 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
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The Waking Dead
A FEW NIGHTS OF POOR SLEEP NEVER KILLED
ANYONE, BUT A FEW MONTHS OF TOSSING
AND TURNING MIGHT: PEOPLE DEALING WITH
INSOMNIA ARE AT GREATER RISK OF DYING
OVER A GIVEN PERIOD. THAT’S BECAUSE CHRONIC
SLEEP DEPRIVATION SETS YOU UP FOR A HOST
OF HEALTH PROBLEMS, INCLUDING...
CONDITION TIMES INCREASED RISK
CANCER
PNEUMONI A
DI ABET ES
HEART AT TACK
HYPERT ENSI ON
DEPRESSI ON
1.4
1.5
1.7
2.3
3.5
4.0
Certain bedroom activi-
ties are better if you
leave the lights on and
make lots of noise. Not
sleep, though. In fact,
just a little moonlight
or a distant car alarm
can wake you enough
to disrupt your shut-
eye but not enough for
you to remember, says
Michael Breus, Ph.D.,
a clinical psycholo-
gist with the American
Board of Sleep Medi-
cine. Instead of bury-
ing your head under a
pillow, slip on an eye
mask and pop in a pair
of earplugs. Research-
ers in France found that
when patients in a busy
recovery room were
masked and plugged,
they scored about
30 percent higher on
sleep quality.
“If you want to sleep
better, you need the
right equipment,” says
Breus. Start with the
Dream Essentials Con-
toured Sleep Mask
($13, dreamessentials.
com). It has an adjust-
able strap for comfort,
space for your eyelids
to move naturally during
REM, and a contoured
bottom edge to pre-
vent light from leaking
in. For earplugs, Breus
likes EarPlanes ($8, cvs.
com); they have a noise
reduction rating of 20
decibels (enough to
block background noise
but not your smoke
alarm) and a conical,
three-tier design that
helps them stay put bet-
ter than basic cylindrical
plugs. —LILA BATTIS
Stop the
Sleep Thieves
ARM YOURSELF
AGAINST THINGS
THAT GO BUMP
IN THE NIGHT.
THE LAST TIME I SAW THIS MAN, I’D DIAGNOSED
him with hypertension. It’s a few months later,
and he’s back for a routine follow-up. His blood
pressure and pulse are nicely controlled on a
modest dose of a beta-blocker. I’m happy.
He’s not.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.
“You’re going to think this is silly,” he begins. “I’m having night-
mares.”
I ask him to tell me more, and reluctantly, he does. He starts
to describe these dreams, but I’m curious about something else.
I want to know if they started after I diagnosed his hypertension.
“So do you think I’m, I don’t know, scared of dying or something?”
“Who isn’t?” I say. “But that’s not why you’re having nightmares.”
“Then what’s causing them?”
“I’m pretty sure I am.”
It’s the drug I prescribed, I explain to him, for his blood pressure.
Beta-blockers and a range of other prescription medications can
bring on nightmares in susceptible people. I switch him to a dif-
ferent drug, and in a week or so, he’s sleeping peacefully.
OUR UNDERSTANDING OF SLEEP HAS EVOLVED OVER THE PAST
century, beginning with the discovery that sleep has its own
architecture, moving from one level to another in a predict-
able pattern. Sleep begins in stage 1. This is what you experi-
ence as “nodding off”: Half awake, half asleep, you lose control
Add to this the increasing consumption of caffeine in the
form of energy drinks, as well as the prevalence of alcohol use
(which causes sleep-maintenance insomnia), and it’s not surpris-
ing that as a nation we can’t stop yawning. According to the CDC,
some 50 to 70 million Americans report chronic sleep problems.
Perhaps the most dangerous of these symptoms—nodding off
while driving—is most common among men ages 25 to 34. This
is, not coincidentally, the same group with the highest percent-
age reporting inadequate sleep (less than seven hours a night).
So what else is keeping you awake?
Stress. Day-to-day worries can lead to that can’t-shut-it-off
sensation that quickly takes on a momentum of its own. And
serious life events—death in the family, job loss, divorce—can
leave anyone unable to sleep for weeks after the fact. Because
stress has a physical component, you need to learn to relax. This
is something most of us are bad at: If you can’t go completely
limp on command (try it—it’s harder than you think), take it one
muscle group at a time. Start with your toes. Stop cranking them
into some position they don’t want to be in. Next, your ankles.
Same deal here: Let your feet fall where they will. Move on up
through calves, thighs, and so on. By the time you get to your
head, the big muscle between your ears will be out for the count.
Depression. If you repeatedly wake up at two or three in the
morning feeling overwhelmed about the future or stewing about
things you wish you had or hadn’t done, you could very likely
be depressed. Other psychological conditions, especially post-
traumatic stress disorder, also disrupt sleep. See your doctor:
Treating your mood will help you sleep better. You might even
find that insomnia was the cause and effect of your depression.
Drugs. One of the main ingredients in bathtub meth is a decon-
gestant found in many over-the-counter cold and allergy rem-
edies, and just like meth, it can wire you up so tight that sleep
can’t touch you. Many prescription drugs (for blood pressure,
inflammation, and even some antidepressants) can also disrupt
your sleep. If you suspect meds are robbing you of rest, talk to
your doctor. You may be able to get away with a lower dose or
switch to a different prescription.
Nicotine. The chemical that keeps you smoking deserves its
own dishonorable mention, primarily because people are often
surprised to hear that it’s a stimulant. And yes, it can keep you
awake at night. Do you need another reason to quit?
Pain. Transient pain, like the sore throat that comes with a
cold or the sensitivity of sunburned skin, causes most of us a
restless night now and then, but chronic pain can make sleep
just a dream. If you’re over 40, you may start to find that a back-
ache wakes you up hours before you’re ready for the day. It’s
called osteoarthritis. Extended-release acetaminophen is made
precisely for low-grade chronic pain that might be keeping you
awake (but, as always, consult your doctor before using this or
any other medication, especially on a regular basis).
Late-night snacking. Nobody knows if a belly full of food will
give you nightmares, but a good case of heartburn is nightmare
enough for most people. Best to stop eating two hours before
you go to bed, or longer if the snack is especially fatty (chips,
for instance)—it takes your stomach much more time to pro-
cess fats than protein or carbohydrates.
Exercise. While a good workout earlier in the day can be the
best guarantee of a steady production of z’s that night, exercis-
ing late in the evening will do just the opposite. It’s hard to sleep
when your metabolism is all cranked up and your core body tem-
perature is elevated. Keep up the good work—just aim to finish
at least three hours before hitting the hay.
T

th
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over the focus and direction of your gaze, which
moves more or less randomly. It’s in this stage that
you might sometimes experience hypnic jerks—
whole-body spasms of muscle activity, possibly
accompanied by the sensation of falling, that can
snatch you back from the brink of sleep. Hypna-
gogic hallucinations—hearing conversations that
you can’t quite understand—are benign phenom-
ena that can happen in this stage as well.
As brain and body settle into stage 2, sleep deep-
ens, even as brain activity on the EEG begins to
show brief bursts of high-amplitude waves.
By the time you reach stage 3, you’re oblivious to
the world around you, able to sleep through things
that would break you out of lighter sleep. If you’re
going to go sleepwalking, this is when you’ll do it.
Relatively common among children, sleepwalking
persists in 3 to 4 percent of the adult population.
Episodes can be brought on by anything that dis-
rupts the normal architecture of sleep, including
fever, excessive physical fatigue, sleep deprivation,
and the use of sleep aids. Popular opinion to the
contrary, it’s all right to wake somebody up. Espe-
cially if they’re attempting something risky, like
climbing stairs. Or driving.
Even though you’re close to comatose during
stage 3, the parts of your brain that process visual
stimuli begin to reactivate. This is the prelude to
REM sleep, where dreams are made.
Without REM sleep, the memory processing
and consolidation that may be the most important
functions of sleep don’t happen nearly as efficiently.
We know, for instance, that people whose sleep
is interrupted before they’re able to accumulate
adequate REM time will score lower on tests
requiring them to recall events of the previous
day. Experimenters have deprived people of REM
sleep by waking them as soon as their brain waves
showed that they were entering it. After a very
few nights, these people began to grow anxious,
paranoid, and eventually delusional, hallucinating
as if in an attempt to dream with their eyes open.
People with a neurological condition that keeps
them from entering REM sleep will die not from
lack of sleep, but possibly from lack of dreams.
REM is the hardest stage of sleep to wake from,
perhaps because our attention is otherwise engaged
behind our twitching eyelids. In REM sleep, our
brains become so active that the EEG makes it
look like we’re awake. While your brain is busy
processing and storing information, your metab-
olism ramps up. Pulse rate, respiratory rhythm, and
blood pressure, suppressed in the earlier stages,
start to climb. Even as your autonomic nervous sys-
tem activates, your major muscle groups are actu-
ally paralyzed, containing all of this inner activity
in a deceptively inert body.
That paralysis has its uses. Ask anyone who’s ever
shared a bed with someone with REM behavior
disorder (RBD)—a breakdown of REM paralysis.
It’s called a behavior disorder because the dreamer
acts out whatever he or she is dreaming. Sleeping
with someone who’s doing this is not safe. Injury
from the person’s flailing limbs is common. The
dreamer is not immune from injury either. For-
tunately, RBD is relatively rare, affecting only one
in 200 people. Men develop it about nine times as
often as women do.
After REM sleep we return to stage 1. From there
the cycle repeats, several times each night, from
stage 1 through 3 to REM and back again, spend-
ing more and more time in REM with each cycle.
This is why when something happens to wake you
in the early morning, you’re often in the middle of
a dream. It’s at such moments that REM paralysis
can sometimes persist, lingering for a few moments
after waking: You’re fully awake and unable to move
a muscle for a few seconds. About 8 percent of the
population will experience at least one episode of
sleep paralysis in a lifetime.
Some of the odd things that happen while the
lights are out go on all night, more or less indepen-
dently of sleep stages. Among the most common of
these parasomnias are restless legs, which affects
about 10 percent of the U.S. population. Most peo-
ple with restless legs say it’s “a crawly sensation”
that starts not long after they lie down, accompa-
nied by a powerful urge to get up and walk around.
Movement relieves the sensation temporarily, but
it returns as soon as the sufferer is back in bed. You
can imagine how tired you’d feel after a night of
this. If you’ve been hearing more about the condi-
tion recently, it’s probably because drugs are now
approved for its treatment.
LIKE A LOT OF GUYS IN THEIR 40s, THIS PATIENT WAS
shocked to hear he had high blood pressure.
“I don’t get it,” he said. “I exercise. I’m not over-
weight. I do all the things I’m supposed to do.
Why me?”
To tell the truth, I was a little puzzled too. Not
only did he have none of the conditions we associate
with hypertension, but nobody in his family, going
back two generations, had ever had it. It was odd,
but, I told him, we call it “essential hypertension”
because we don’t have a clue what causes it. Neither
of us found this comforting.
When he came back for his follow-up, he was
still unhappy, even though his pressure was under
control with medication.
“I just don’t like having it,” he said. “I feel like
I’m old all of a sudden.” I started to laugh and tell
him he wasn’t old, but something in his expression
stopped me.
“What do you mean?” I asked instead.
“Old,” he repeated. “Like I’m running on empty.
No juice. It’s like the way I keep falling asleep all the
time. Yesterday it was in a meeting. Last week at a
red light. I mean, what’s that about?”
It was one of those moments that make me happy
to be a doctor. I told him what I thought might be hap-
pening, and even though he didn’t fit the profile for
sleep apnea any more than he did for hypertension,
I scheduled him for polysomnography.
The result: severe obstructive sleep apnea. Six
months later he was back in my office. He had been
using his CPAP machine every night and looked a
whole lot happier.
When I told him his hypertension seemed to have
resolved, he looked a whole lot happier still.
PUBLISHED FIGURES SUGGEST THAT NEARLY 15
percent of adult men suffer from obstructive sleep
apnea (OSA). The actual prevalence may be even
higher. OSA happens when the muscles in the back
of the throat relax so much that the airway actually
collapses during inhalation, effectively cutting off
the supply of oxygen for long seconds at a time. In
response, the sleeper stirs, not enough to come fully
awake, but awake enough to force a breath through
the obstruction with a loud snore.
Those arousals can occur hundreds of times a
night. The sleeper doesn’t remember them, however:
All he knows is that despite what seemed like a full
night’s sleep, he’s sleepy all day—sleepy enough to
nod off in a meeting or at the wheel of a car. Worse,
low oxygen levels throughout the night, if allowed
to go on for years, can lead to pulmonary hyperten-
sion, heart failure, and early dementia; they can also
contribute to obesity and hypertension.
Because the condition is potentially dangerous
(and treatable), you should have a sleep study if
you find yourself frequently having trouble stay-
ing awake during the day—especially if you’ve heard
complaints about snoring. Treatment is to keep the
airway open by providing continuous positive air-
way pressure (CPAP) pumped through a tight-fit-
ting face mask strapped onto your face. The mask
may look a bit like the parasite in Alien, but surpris-
ingly, most people sleep so much better on CPAP
that they learn to like the thing.
EVEN IF YOUR LEGS BEHAVE AND YOU’RE NOT OUT
wandering the neighborhood in your jammies, sleep
can still remain the one part of your life that can
feel totally beyond your control. But it isn’t really
that different from the rest of the 24. The common
problems and their commonsense solutions, like
avoiding late-night TV and managing stress, all add
up to another aspect of hygiene—the habits we try
to work into our daily lives to keep us strong and
healthy can work for us at night as well.
Mind you, there are no guarantees. Even the
healthiest of us hits the 3 a.m. wall every now and
then. What should you do when that happens? My
advice (and that of most experts in the field): Don’t
fight it. The longer you lie there thrashing about,
the less sleepy you’ll be. Get up, go to another room,
and do something sedentary and dull.
I recommend the poetry of John Dryden. It
hasn’t failed me yet. ½
The people described in this article are compos-
ites. Any resemblance between them and any
actual individual, living or dead, is a coincidence.

SM
HIT THE ROAD, CONT. FROM PAGE 131
other people saw me, and that’s how I came to
see myself. When you have a fat man’s men-
tality, you act like a fat man, eat like one, and
dress like one. But when you think like a fit
man, you feel fit and successful. I’m learn-
ing it’s much easier to resist the cravings and
skip all that shame.”
Eventually we reach St. Louis. Boschee
takes the designated exit, finds the Walmart
lot, and parks. We sprint across four lanes of
traffic to Chipotle, where he inhales a Burrito
Bowl with double meat and I have a tradi-
tional burrito that must weigh 5 pounds. In
less than 20 minutes, we’re back in the cab.
He is extremely satisfied. I feel like there’s a
bowling ball in my stomach, and I’m dreading
the 200 miles we still have to cover.
But this is a trucker’s life. You’re not going
to find these guys having a leisurely meal
and then browsing the Cracker Barrel Old
Country Store. Every mile in front of them
is money waiting on the table. We take on
fuel, whether for the truck or for ourselves,
as quickly as possible. The job also makes
meeting women and dating even more dif-
ficult. Boschee spends 350-plus nights a year
on the road. He says he wants to start a fam-
ily eventually but knows he’ll have to make
significant changes to his schedule.
We finally reach Springfield at 10:03 p.m.,
gliding past the “Welcome Home” sign at
Prime’s terminal just three minutes behind
schedule. Boschee guides his rig into a multi-
bay garage. When his paperwork is done, he
drops the trailer, parks the cab, and escorts
me into company headquarters. There is a
new basketball court, gym, cafeteria, movie
theater, post office, spa and salon, pool tables,
and a store selling folding bikes and dumb-
bell sets. An adjacent room is filled with
dispatchers and fuel-route planners who
orchestrate Prime’s 6,200 drivers and 9,500
trailers. Hundreds of plaques line the walls,
touting Prime’s Hall of Fame—drivers with a
million or more accident-free miles.
“So how did it go?” asks Coach Baleka,
who’s here to welcome us.
“You were right,” I reply. “It is possible
to stay in shape out there.”
“It’s actually easier in some respects to
eat healthy and exercise on the road,” says
Baleka, ever the coach. “You don’t have the
temptation of home cooking or the inter-
ference of family responsibilities. You can
focus on what needs to be done.”
That’s the ultimate lesson: Take respon-
sibility for yourself. “Everybody points at
their circumstances when they really should
be looking at themselves,” says Boschee.
“When you start doing that, your life will
change. I want the six-pack and the 18-inch
biceps like everyone else, but it’s up to me
to earn them.” ½
SEX DRIVE, CONT. FROM PAGE 123
AFTER EIGHT YEARS ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS,
Sharpe stopped at age 26. She felt that she
was in the wrong phase of life to be foggy
about how she felt. “College is a time of
figuring out who you are, what kind of a
path you want to put yourself on, and how
you feel about things,” she says. “One of
the bad things about the overdiagnosis of
young people is that it says the way you
feel is a mistake, a product of an illness.”
It’s also a period when young people
traditionally look for mates. “We’re living
in this time when the 20s have become a
time of intense independence. Instead of
partnering with someone in college, more
and more people are living with friends
and delaying settling down,” Sharpe says.
“I wonder if being mildly depressed, of
having an acute sense of your need for
comfort, keeps you in a relationship. If
antidepressants give you a way to be on
your own, they support this independent,
self-centered social lifestyle,” she says.
But there’s a cost, says Fisher. “This
game of love really matters during the
reproductive years. We’ve evolved an
enormous number of brain mechanisms
to choose the partners we want. If you
don’t feel anything for anyone and go
from one hookup to another, you will
keep disappointing potential partners.”
Plus, you may just miss your chance at
the right one. “If you don’t have any sex
drive or can’t feel any emotion,” Fisher
says, “how are you going to respond to
the cute girl in algebra class or at the gym?
These drugs are not a free ride.” ½
Cole Haan
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Gentry
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Giro
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Gold Toe
goldtoe.com
Izod
izod.com
Levi’s
levi.com
Martin Dingman
martindingman.com
Maurice Lacroix
mauricelacroix.com
Mizzen+Main
mizzenandmain.com
Rimowa
rimowa.com
The Tie Bar
thetiebar.com
Tumi
tumi.com
Van Heusen
kohls.com
AG
agjeans.com
Clarks
clarksusa.com
Ernest Alexander
ernestalexander.com
Jack Spade
jackspade.com
Marc by Marc Jacobs
marcjacobs.com
Nautica
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PRPS Goods & Co.
prpsjeans.com
The Tie Bar
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Toms
toms.com
Walk-Over
walkover.com
WHERE TO BUY
“Shift into Top Gear,” page 98
WHERE TO BUY
“Jeans: The Rules,” page 68
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39% 35
11% 17% 56
1 in 10
62
Percentage of men
who’ve tried to pass off a
stolen joke as their own
27
Percentage who’ve
thought about taking a
turn at stand-up
77
Percentage who wish
they could land “just one
good joke”
Number of guys who
consider sarcasm the
funniest form of humor
Percentage of men who’ve told a joke
during sex that didn’t go over well (instead
of quitting while they were ahead)
Number who say
it’s dirty humor
all the way
Number who’ve dumped a
gal for her annoying laugh
Percentage who would rather hear a
woman say, “You’re hilarious!” than “You’re
hot!” Best of all: “You’re so funny, it’s hot!”
Portion of men who’d
never date a woman who
is funnier than they are
58 3 54% 13
Percentage of men
who think they’re funnier
after a few brews
Number of pints
they need to loosen
up the laugh track
Proportion of guys who
say they’re the clown
in their crowd of friends
Percentage who
(don’t laugh!) are ter-
rified of real clowns
Dead comic the average
guy wishes could do one
more set: George Carlin
Average guy’s favorite
TV comedy:
THE BIG BANG
THEORY
Funny How?
When it comes to comedy, every man thinks he’s a stand-up guy.
Sitcom guy he wishes he could
be: How I Met Your Mother’s. . .
BARNEY
STINSON
Top three jokers he
would pay silly money
to see live:
1. Dave Chappelle
2. Kevin Hart
3. Louis C.K.
1 in 3
Odds that he’s played
an April Fools’ prank
at his office…or been
the target of one
27%
Proportion of hiring man-
agers who say a good
sense of humor could give
a job candidate an edge
I LLUSTRATI ONS BY REL AJA EL COCO 160 MENSHEALTH.COM | April 2014
10
Percentage of men who’ve
heckled a comedian
FUNNY BUSINESS
Have HR hire a comic:
A study in the Journal of
Managerial Psychology
suggests that humor
at work can improve
performance. “But the
quality of your jokes is
more important than
the quantity,” says Mark
Shatz, Ph.D., a professor
of psychology at Ohio
University at Zanesville
and coauthor of Com-
edy Writing Secrets.
So steer away from the
racier material. “Your
audience isn’t your best
buddy,” Shatz says.
“It’s your most conser-
vative colleague.”
A GUARANTEED LAUGH
When U.K. researchers
surveyed 350,000 peo-
ple to find the world’s
funniest joke, one entry
won out. Here goes:
Two hunters are out in
the woods when one
collapses. He doesn’t
seem to be breathing.
The other guy calls 911.
He gasps, “My friend is
dead! What can I do?”
The operator says,
“Calm down. I can help.
First, let’s make sure
he’s dead.” There’s a
silence; then a shot is
heard. Back on the
phone, the guy says,
“Okay, now what?”
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