Motor Mouth - Halloween Edition
Content
here is only one way to survive in the event of a full-scale zombie apocalypse. You absolutely will need a reliable ride to carry you away from the legion of undead. Just be sure to double check the backseat of the vehicle for the shrewd stragglers. Should the walking dead approach you, do not mistake the leisurely pace as a sign of weakness. They are taking their time because they are confident they’ll catch up to you eventually. Why wouldn’t they be casual and carefree, considering they literally have all the time in the world? Just don’t forget that you are grossly outnumbered. Every Frankensteinian force has a soldier waiting to outwit your survival strategy. Haven’t you seen the movies? George Romero established this fact in his 1968 Night of the Living Dead, when poor, soon-to-bedevoured Johnny informed his sister, “They’re coming to get you, Barbara.” So to recap the lifesaving lesson: you may see the zombies from several miles away, descending unhurriedly upon your town, probably shrouded in a forebodingly foggy mist. If you are unsure if they are, in fact, zombies, check for outstretched arms and the muttering of a limited-lexicon dialect. If you hear them declare “Ahm rrahrh rrhnrrh” or “Baarhahh braains”—you are in code-red danger and need to get to your anti-apocalypse auto as quickly as humanly possible. I repeat, do not delay. The good news that comes with living in today’s fast-paced digital age is that you no longer have to be the victim of a zombie snack-attack in the event of invasion. Vehicles have builtin features, like an unassailable fuel economy, split-second keyless entry and robust all-wheel-drive, to combat even the stealthiest of zombie armies. You can rest at ease now that Ford
has released a zombie survival guide (a super-creative Ford Fiesta commercial ) demonstrating how keyless entry and push-button start can ultimately save you when in close pursuit. Once you’ve made your escape from certain death, you can kick back in a comfortable ride with a quiet cabin. Trust me, you’ll appreciate a little peace and quiet by that point. In the competitive subcompact
to off-road outdoor recreation, this is a versatile drive with solid build quality and dependability. It’s 4.0L V6 engine, which produces 261 horsepower, offers five-speed automatic or six-speed manual in three trim levels. With the entry-level X, you get full power features and keyless entry, so should you need a speedy exit, this rugged and functional SUV can take you far, fast. Not to
This week’s Motor Mouth “Auto”graphed Picks…
1. Ford Fiesta 2. Nissan Xterra 3. Toyota RAV4 4. Land Rover Range Rover 5. Jeep Wrangler Rubicon Send feedback to [email protected]
When zombies attack: no-brainer getaway cars
segment, the Fiesta is worthy of its celebratory name. It is fun to drive and comes standard with a smooth four-cylinder engine producing 120 horsepower. The solid fuel economy of 29/38 city/highway mpg guarantees you’ll leave the ravenous hordes far behind thanks to this ghoulish getaway. The Fiesta has somewhat limited cargo, so leave the heavy-artillery weapons home. Not that you will need them—with the push of a button, you’ll leave the deviants in the dust. If you plan on picking up some stranded passengers, the Nissan Xterra is the mid-size SUV to help your heroic efforts. This car sports sprightly handling for weaving around undead swarms. Its enhanced off-road ability will be particularly helpful, as traffic patterns may become hazardous in an end-of-the-world scenario. The Xterra is a top-notch sportutility vehicle. From the regular routine
Get app at http://gettag.mobi/ What makes the Ford Fiesta great during a zombie attack? Watch.
mention you’ll barely feel the impact when you run over a few zombies. Another survivalist SUV is the Toyota RAV4, which is a bit more mild-mannered than the Xterra. The RAV is the runt of the Toyota litter, the smallest in its large family of SUVs. But this crossover SUV, now in its third generation, is a wise choice if you find yourself in a catastrophic crunch. This is a ride with a surprisingly elegant interior, so you can hightail it to a far away location and actually enjoy the ride. With cozy ergonomics and a fuelefficient engine, you may just want to keep going until you reach Canada. With the RAV4, you have the best scenario of power and pump; its 179 horsepower engine with its 2.5L fourcylinder delivers responsive acceleration yet superior fuel economy. The V6 brings the juice of 269 ponies onto the roadway, but really, you can breathe a sigh of relief behind either engine,
since you’re safe and sound in this reliable Toyota. After the Jeep, Land Rover is the second oldest four-wheel-drive car brand in the world. Land Rover models have been used in a military IllustratIon capacity, particuby tod ParkhIll larly in the British army, for decades. That’s exactly why the Land Rover Range Rover is a top-notch choice for a defensive-driving monster masher. In the luxury SUV segment, this ride allows you to flee from the fright fest with some style and sophistication. Despite it’s knack for off-road handling, the Range Rover is an unexpectedly refined auto, but it packs a ferocious punch. Nothing can out-chase this 5.0L V8 engine. Four-wheel-drive is a standard for all Rovers in addition to low-range gearing revved up for the rockiest terrain. For a different all-wheel-drive experience, the Jeep Wrangler Rubicon is the last pick for impending disaster. The Wrangler is ready and raring to go off-road, and this vehicle also has a history of military use. Don’t you want to hop behind the wheel of the car that transported World War II soldiers and supplies across treacherous grounds? With its 3.8L V6 engine producing 202 horsepower, the Jeep can take you just about anywhere with solid ground. Now that you have the zombieready rides, please remember to head to the dealership before, not during, the actual apocalypse. Keep a baseball bat in your trunk at all times, and you probably should be okay. Just cross your fingers that the zombies don’t evolve with the smarter phones and cooler cars. Because if they learn how to drive, then we’re in trouble.
has released a zombie survival guide (a super-creative Ford Fiesta commercial ) demonstrating how keyless entry and push-button start can ultimately save you when in close pursuit. Once you’ve made your escape from certain death, you can kick back in a comfortable ride with a quiet cabin. Trust me, you’ll appreciate a little peace and quiet by that point. In the competitive subcompact
to off-road outdoor recreation, this is a versatile drive with solid build quality and dependability. It’s 4.0L V6 engine, which produces 261 horsepower, offers five-speed automatic or six-speed manual in three trim levels. With the entry-level X, you get full power features and keyless entry, so should you need a speedy exit, this rugged and functional SUV can take you far, fast. Not to
This week’s Motor Mouth “Auto”graphed Picks…
1. Ford Fiesta 2. Nissan Xterra 3. Toyota RAV4 4. Land Rover Range Rover 5. Jeep Wrangler Rubicon Send feedback to [email protected]
When zombies attack: no-brainer getaway cars
segment, the Fiesta is worthy of its celebratory name. It is fun to drive and comes standard with a smooth four-cylinder engine producing 120 horsepower. The solid fuel economy of 29/38 city/highway mpg guarantees you’ll leave the ravenous hordes far behind thanks to this ghoulish getaway. The Fiesta has somewhat limited cargo, so leave the heavy-artillery weapons home. Not that you will need them—with the push of a button, you’ll leave the deviants in the dust. If you plan on picking up some stranded passengers, the Nissan Xterra is the mid-size SUV to help your heroic efforts. This car sports sprightly handling for weaving around undead swarms. Its enhanced off-road ability will be particularly helpful, as traffic patterns may become hazardous in an end-of-the-world scenario. The Xterra is a top-notch sportutility vehicle. From the regular routine
Get app at http://gettag.mobi/ What makes the Ford Fiesta great during a zombie attack? Watch.
mention you’ll barely feel the impact when you run over a few zombies. Another survivalist SUV is the Toyota RAV4, which is a bit more mild-mannered than the Xterra. The RAV is the runt of the Toyota litter, the smallest in its large family of SUVs. But this crossover SUV, now in its third generation, is a wise choice if you find yourself in a catastrophic crunch. This is a ride with a surprisingly elegant interior, so you can hightail it to a far away location and actually enjoy the ride. With cozy ergonomics and a fuelefficient engine, you may just want to keep going until you reach Canada. With the RAV4, you have the best scenario of power and pump; its 179 horsepower engine with its 2.5L fourcylinder delivers responsive acceleration yet superior fuel economy. The V6 brings the juice of 269 ponies onto the roadway, but really, you can breathe a sigh of relief behind either engine,
since you’re safe and sound in this reliable Toyota. After the Jeep, Land Rover is the second oldest four-wheel-drive car brand in the world. Land Rover models have been used in a military IllustratIon capacity, particuby tod ParkhIll larly in the British army, for decades. That’s exactly why the Land Rover Range Rover is a top-notch choice for a defensive-driving monster masher. In the luxury SUV segment, this ride allows you to flee from the fright fest with some style and sophistication. Despite it’s knack for off-road handling, the Range Rover is an unexpectedly refined auto, but it packs a ferocious punch. Nothing can out-chase this 5.0L V8 engine. Four-wheel-drive is a standard for all Rovers in addition to low-range gearing revved up for the rockiest terrain. For a different all-wheel-drive experience, the Jeep Wrangler Rubicon is the last pick for impending disaster. The Wrangler is ready and raring to go off-road, and this vehicle also has a history of military use. Don’t you want to hop behind the wheel of the car that transported World War II soldiers and supplies across treacherous grounds? With its 3.8L V6 engine producing 202 horsepower, the Jeep can take you just about anywhere with solid ground. Now that you have the zombieready rides, please remember to head to the dealership before, not during, the actual apocalypse. Keep a baseball bat in your trunk at all times, and you probably should be okay. Just cross your fingers that the zombies don’t evolve with the smarter phones and cooler cars. Because if they learn how to drive, then we’re in trouble.
