MY LOVE MY LIFE
Content
MY LOVE MY LIFE
My name is SHAKOO as she used to call me. I am just another person who happen to fall in Love but not as fortunate as many of people are. My story start as a young boy I was 13 1/2 years old when I first saw in my neighborhood from a distance in Karachi Pakistan. She was visiting her uncle’s and my eyes catch an exceptional beauty my hearth started to bump so high that i didn’t know what it is and why i feel so wired each time is see her. I still remember i used wait for weeks and wish and pray for weekend to come quickly so that she come back and visit her uncle’s and i would finally get to see her again. My wait and feeling started to grow so much on me that i could keep it to myself and my friends and family member started to notice the change in me and started to tease me my her name and call me with different name. After having the feelings for her for over an year i finally got to see her closely. it was the Saturday night during summer vacation she came to one of my friends general store to buy some ice cream with her young cousins. It was then when my friend inside of the store call my name, i was standing outside shop at the one of the corners with all my other friends and discussing our cricket match. when my heard my name and i turn i saw her back i was sure if it was her not she was wearing greenish kameez shalwar i rush myself in the shop to get close look and when i enter the shop she glance at me that was first time i had ever saw her closely and i can’t forget the moment it is so fresh that i can describe how fortunate i felt that night. After that i had decide that she is the one for me and i will do anything find a way to know her better. I tried everything in the book to get her attention become close friends to her friends brothers, buy candies for young cousin, get real close to her uncle and aunty by helping them in small staff picking her cousin young cousin from the Montessori, making a scrap, writing her name on the walls doing all kind of crazy thing just to get her attention but for her i was still invisible and she kept ignoring me and think of me as a Loafer. But then come the luckiest year of my life the year 1999. it was time when i finally got the chance to propose her that tell how i feel about her. it all started by one clank call, it was her best friends made the call to my house. she wanted to pass her time by flirting with some and i been the fortunate one answer the call. I repeated myself HELOO HELOO couple of time and then i heard the reply and as soon as i heard the girl’s voice i said my brother is not at home please call some other time. As my brother during that time was very famous among the girls i taught it was one of his girl friends. Then i get the call again and this the girl said she want to speak to me and i was like I am sorry but i have no interest in the please stop troubling me by making the clank calls. all this continue for about a month and then comes the time of valentine and her friends call me again. This time my brother picks up the phone and started talking to her friend. Her friend ask my brother if she could speak to me for and my brother forces me to spoke to her and try resist but i couldn't so i decide to speak to her for ones and in very rude manner i told her friend that i have no interest in you and please do not irritate me any more. This is when her friend ask her to call me and speak to me that her friend really just want to speak to me and it valentine and she really likes me. This time she call me i saw her number and i quickly remember her because one my friend give me her number who’s
sister is also friend of hers. When i saw her number on caller id i started to freak out i started to call my brother i told that her, that her and he went are you sure and i was yes yes i am sure that her number. he ask me answer the phone but i run away i was to afraid to speak to her. Then my answer the call and spoke to her and ask my brother if i could speak to her friends. My brother explain her that he will try to convince me to speak to her friends. Then her friends call back and my brother take it from there in couple of days my brother told her friend everything about me as how crazily i am in love with a girl who visit her uncle in our neighborhood and i would never speak to anybody else except meaning he started to explain her friend how i feel for her and then she mention that she is her friend and how she got our number. Then my brother and her friend decide that how they can help us to be together and secretly they arrange the DATE for us. it was February 25th 1999 my brother told me that we need to go out to meet her, initially i tried to refuse to go but when he said that she feel the same way about me and just want me to tell her first how I feel about her give some strength because i don’t want say or do anything which would make her bad and think of me as flirt or bad person but brother convince me that there is nothing like that and in effect she share same feel i felt little confident and i got agree to go but i still wasn’t convince with my brother so i kept asking him does it really true all the way to the spot were we suppose to meet her outside her school campus and then he said that he doesn’t know if she like me or not and he said that to convince me to tell her i love her. Now we outside her school waiting for them to come out and my brother just told he lied to me i started to freak out started yelling get and try leave the spot but my friends and brother try get hold of me try calm me down that nothing is going to happen just meet her tell her what you feel. I try to calm myself thinking that this may be the only time i might ever get to express my feeling to her but as she started to walk close to us with her friend i started getting more and more nervous. i was sweating, my legs were shaking, my drought was getting really dry, i couldn't hear my own voice and here she is standing next to me wearing her white school uniform looking right at me listening to my brother as he tell her how feel about her shaking her head as she doesn’t know what happening and waiting for me to say something as my brother pushes me at the wall forces me to tell her how i feel but i couldn't get anything out my system as somebody have seal my tongue i was looking at her and listen to what my saying i just keep looking at and all of sudden i told her that i really love you and she reply back by just saying me too and then the best time of life start. We started to seeing each other we talk for hours on the phone talk about everything going around us expressing each other feeling and how we felt about each other. It only 9 months to our relationship when time come to move. My parents decided to move to USA it was November of 1999 when moved to USA. I promised her that i will call her everyday and i will try to visit Pakistan every year to meet her. I remember she cried so much but being very understanding knowing that i would have to move. Once I moved all her friends would try to hook her with different guys forces her to forget about me that i am in USA and wouldn’t ever return and might start seeing other girls and she would’nt even find out about it. But our love was much stronger than this as she said it “ WHAT WE SHARE IN OUR HEARTHS IT”S STRONGER THAN ANY DISTANCE” and against all odds the in 2001 the time comes when her father was offered to move to USA and we were back together but still with some distance as they move to New york and i was in LA but it was at least better than being across world.
Our relationship started to grow as the time passes. We get to meet each other every six month and spent some wonderful time together. I was so fortunate that i got know her so close, she was my strength in any walk of life always giving me the confident always showing me the right path always being there for me when ever i need any assistant. I used to feel so happy to buy her gift because of lovely her smile and her expression of seeing her happy just felt me with joy. i remember that she went to the mall with my sister and there she like the 3 stone white gold diamond ring. My sister mentioned me about that ring and i started to save some money and put that ring on layaway and when i finally gifted her the ring she was so happy that she started crying and kept staring at ring keep for whole night and hug me thousand time. My life was perfect it was moving on to the right direction we were already promise our parents had decided once i settle down we will get married and I can’t wait to for that day to come in my life when she will be mine forever and I will get to spent all my life with her grow old with her raise our children's together but for all that to be real i need to work really hard on studies so that i can give her the better future, i can fulfill all her dreams give her everything she wants keep her really happy travel around the world visit all romantic places and strength our relationship even further. As our life was moving along we started to have little difference but nothing serious we were still very close and still love each other a lot and then in 2005 first time she refuses me when i ask her to come to LA for my university graduation she refuses to visit me to be part of my graduation i felt really torn down but then i convince myself that may be it is for better and beside she is busy with her older sister engagement and then again i will be visiting her few months after my job interview in Cisco System. My family moved to sanjose since me and mu brother got the jobs in cisco i was really happy that i finally getting close to being with her forever but our difference had grown as well and then the time come when the first time she really hurt me. It was December's 2005 i went to see her, i had a early flight so she was not at home so i waited for her to return from college but it was as pleasant as i was expecting she enter the room and look at me said you had gain so much of weight you look so bad and i couldn't say anything kept quite sat at the sofa for a while then went inside the bedroom. after a while her mother called me for dinner and during the dinner she started saying things that she doesn’t like me and she hate my last name etc and finally i had come out shell and replied back to her in a very harsh way that now a days you hate everything about me and if you want leave then leave me and went away. That night i could sleep at all and decided that i will take her to college in the morning and try sort thing outs but when in the morning i asked her that i will take to the college she does not have to go by bus she started yelling at me that does not me drop her to college and she will go my herself. I didn't want to argue so i went back to bed and she left without saying a word. In the evening on her way back to school she brought food for me and also made me fries. So i waited for her to eat with me but she went in bathroom and was talking to somebody when ask her to eat with me she refuses and said she already eat. finally when she came out she was for some reason very upset and went outside the house. I followed her outside to find out what it is why she so upset but yelled at me and ask me to leave her alone so i went inside the house again and give her time to relax.
when she came back in went into her room brought the envelope saying it her friend’s girl-friend picture and he can’t keep it with him for awhile and would like her to have for sometime. I felt really strange when she started going over the picture and making comments as she feel really jealous and hate that everybody in school like her etc. I tried to console her thinking it may be the girl thing she maybe feeling jealous because all her school friends like her. During my trip i notice many different thing which made very insecure but i was not sure how to react about it so i decided to keep my cool and let the time passes but when i discuss all things with brother my advice to speak to her and ask her not be friend with him again so i did it but it did not went as plan she started crying on the phone and starting saying thing she not that kind of girl who will cheat on men and i be honest i believe her and we decided we never talk about this incident. Then in early 2006 couple months before her sister wedding. She called me at evening sound very upset and bad on her sister and saying that she said to her that i am having an affair with the same guy and she just wanted me to know that there is nothing like that and she hate her sister of thinking her as such. I tried to listen to her and ask her to have some distance from him as it is not good if people pointing finger at you but she refuses to listen to me and said she does not want any advice it her life and she will do what she want to do be friend with who ever she want to be friend with. After that i did not say anything i felt that i have no right over her i have no right to ask her anything. In few days later my got breakup with his long lasting girlfriend and then he advice me that in order to have save relationship after sometime it is important to have some kind of commitment done. So i ask my mother that i need to get engage and spoke when spoke to her she completely refuse the proposal and start crying that she doesn't want to get engage if i force her she will never get married to me. I really didn’t understand as what exactly is happening to us we are hardly talking to each other and she doesn't want to get engage with me, doesn’t wan to see me and then her sister saying thinks as she having an affair with the same guys i was once feeling insecure about. I know i need to do something quickly to fixed everything but did not know how and what to do. So i decide i will with till i get to see her in her sister’s wedding in summer of 2006. So time comes i went to NY for 7 days for her sister wedding. But nothing happen as i planned things went from bad to worst. She started to ignore me complete giving me the cold looks and all this is hearth breaking that i could resist i was staying all night long crying thinking what i had done wrong but i could get any answer. Then one night i got the opportunity speak to her as what why she is doing this to me i was bagging to her to tell me what is wrong what i have done and there she standing stone hearth and said “IT’S NOT YOU IT’S ME AND I DON’T FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU” i ask her please don’t do this but she went away by saying she need some time and want me to give her some space. After that night i acted very stupidly and burn my hand and made the initial of her firstname. Next morning i told her that you had said that i would never hurt myself for you so here it is i put your initial on my shoulder with cigarette burn. she got really upset and away shouting at me. Same night at post marriage dinner we had big fight and she ask me go away from there. so i decided to leave my her mother forces me do stay till the wedding so i decide to stay but i left her house and went stay at the hotel with my friend. Thinks got even worst when my family found out about all this and they flew to new york to fix thing up but instead everything went even worst. Her parents had some sour talk with my mother and brother in law and the family got crunches in heart. Anyhow return
back to sanjose i was really stress could not concentrate on any i was crying all night could not eat anything for months i kept trying to fix things up but she won’t listen to me at all keep refusing to speak to me, kept on insulting me but i tried not give up and do whatever it take to her back even my condition started get bad i had multiple stress stroke but i could’nt give up on her so easily. I wasn’t going end my 7 years of relation because of the 7 days that took my world away from me. So after one year continuously trying to win her over i finally decide i will go to NY again i will try to speak to her and see if i can persuasive her to listen to me but i suppose what her reaction i going to me after all what had happen between us was not so easy to forget about. She told me that she have move on with her life and i should do the same. I could tell her how i feel, how much i love her that my life have no meaning without her but she refuses to speak to me and then i did what i should not have done as per my best friend advice i return all love letter cards and thing she have gifted me over the years. In my heart i could feel i shouldn’t be doing this but since my friend was confident that doing this will make her come to me as she would realize that you left her but it didn’t happen that way and made her even more mad at me. So the time passes by and i kept praying for things to get better between us keep thinking and hoping for her return that one day she would give me one more chance but anything i did was not enough and I would fall two steps further down and then try again to come back up again. In 2010 went i found that she is graduated from the FIT and saw her pic’s on facebook I couldn’t stop myself from seeing her. So i decided to go to NY and call her house and ask her mother if i could come and meet her mother and wish her for the graduation. i didn’t even know if they would allow me to come, if she would see me or not as we haven’t spoken for years but i still had to try so i went her house to met her and I notice she was very calm about be being there as if i am an unwanted guest and she doesn’t know me. At that time i knew i can’t fight with my faith any longer. In December of 2010 i found out she got married somebody else my heart was broken once again but I tried to me patient and except the faith of life that she does not belong to me i had lost her forever and my LOVE for her was not enough to bring her back into my life. It been more than 5 years since our breakup and there hasn’t been a single day that i don’t think about her. even today her memories are so fresh with me that i remember each everyday I spend with her. People say time heals everything but for me it still an ongoing process. I still think about her cry during the nights remembering the time we were together. its not that i didn’t try to forget about her but how hard i would try to forget her the more i would think about her. I wish if i only could get the second chance to prove myself to her that how much she meant to me that how much i need her that my life is nothing without her i don’t feel passionate about anything that i lost all off my confident that my life is meaningless without her that all the success in my life doesn’t make as happy as i used to get when she was with me when i see her playing around teasing me doing all kind of childish things. I am 28 years old now and I don’t know what is going to happen to me i had never love
anyone except her and i don’t think i would ever be able to love anyone the way i have loved her but now that she is married to someone else i only hope that he would love her more than i have ever loved her and always keep her happy and give her all the happiness in life that i would like to give her and fulfill all of her dreams.
My name is SHAKOO as she used to call me. I am just another person who happen to fall in Love but not as fortunate as many of people are. My story start as a young boy I was 13 1/2 years old when I first saw in my neighborhood from a distance in Karachi Pakistan. She was visiting her uncle’s and my eyes catch an exceptional beauty my hearth started to bump so high that i didn’t know what it is and why i feel so wired each time is see her. I still remember i used wait for weeks and wish and pray for weekend to come quickly so that she come back and visit her uncle’s and i would finally get to see her again. My wait and feeling started to grow so much on me that i could keep it to myself and my friends and family member started to notice the change in me and started to tease me my her name and call me with different name. After having the feelings for her for over an year i finally got to see her closely. it was the Saturday night during summer vacation she came to one of my friends general store to buy some ice cream with her young cousins. It was then when my friend inside of the store call my name, i was standing outside shop at the one of the corners with all my other friends and discussing our cricket match. when my heard my name and i turn i saw her back i was sure if it was her not she was wearing greenish kameez shalwar i rush myself in the shop to get close look and when i enter the shop she glance at me that was first time i had ever saw her closely and i can’t forget the moment it is so fresh that i can describe how fortunate i felt that night. After that i had decide that she is the one for me and i will do anything find a way to know her better. I tried everything in the book to get her attention become close friends to her friends brothers, buy candies for young cousin, get real close to her uncle and aunty by helping them in small staff picking her cousin young cousin from the Montessori, making a scrap, writing her name on the walls doing all kind of crazy thing just to get her attention but for her i was still invisible and she kept ignoring me and think of me as a Loafer. But then come the luckiest year of my life the year 1999. it was time when i finally got the chance to propose her that tell how i feel about her. it all started by one clank call, it was her best friends made the call to my house. she wanted to pass her time by flirting with some and i been the fortunate one answer the call. I repeated myself HELOO HELOO couple of time and then i heard the reply and as soon as i heard the girl’s voice i said my brother is not at home please call some other time. As my brother during that time was very famous among the girls i taught it was one of his girl friends. Then i get the call again and this the girl said she want to speak to me and i was like I am sorry but i have no interest in the please stop troubling me by making the clank calls. all this continue for about a month and then comes the time of valentine and her friends call me again. This time my brother picks up the phone and started talking to her friend. Her friend ask my brother if she could speak to me for and my brother forces me to spoke to her and try resist but i couldn't so i decide to speak to her for ones and in very rude manner i told her friend that i have no interest in you and please do not irritate me any more. This is when her friend ask her to call me and speak to me that her friend really just want to speak to me and it valentine and she really likes me. This time she call me i saw her number and i quickly remember her because one my friend give me her number who’s
sister is also friend of hers. When i saw her number on caller id i started to freak out i started to call my brother i told that her, that her and he went are you sure and i was yes yes i am sure that her number. he ask me answer the phone but i run away i was to afraid to speak to her. Then my answer the call and spoke to her and ask my brother if i could speak to her friends. My brother explain her that he will try to convince me to speak to her friends. Then her friends call back and my brother take it from there in couple of days my brother told her friend everything about me as how crazily i am in love with a girl who visit her uncle in our neighborhood and i would never speak to anybody else except meaning he started to explain her friend how i feel for her and then she mention that she is her friend and how she got our number. Then my brother and her friend decide that how they can help us to be together and secretly they arrange the DATE for us. it was February 25th 1999 my brother told me that we need to go out to meet her, initially i tried to refuse to go but when he said that she feel the same way about me and just want me to tell her first how I feel about her give some strength because i don’t want say or do anything which would make her bad and think of me as flirt or bad person but brother convince me that there is nothing like that and in effect she share same feel i felt little confident and i got agree to go but i still wasn’t convince with my brother so i kept asking him does it really true all the way to the spot were we suppose to meet her outside her school campus and then he said that he doesn’t know if she like me or not and he said that to convince me to tell her i love her. Now we outside her school waiting for them to come out and my brother just told he lied to me i started to freak out started yelling get and try leave the spot but my friends and brother try get hold of me try calm me down that nothing is going to happen just meet her tell her what you feel. I try to calm myself thinking that this may be the only time i might ever get to express my feeling to her but as she started to walk close to us with her friend i started getting more and more nervous. i was sweating, my legs were shaking, my drought was getting really dry, i couldn't hear my own voice and here she is standing next to me wearing her white school uniform looking right at me listening to my brother as he tell her how feel about her shaking her head as she doesn’t know what happening and waiting for me to say something as my brother pushes me at the wall forces me to tell her how i feel but i couldn't get anything out my system as somebody have seal my tongue i was looking at her and listen to what my saying i just keep looking at and all of sudden i told her that i really love you and she reply back by just saying me too and then the best time of life start. We started to seeing each other we talk for hours on the phone talk about everything going around us expressing each other feeling and how we felt about each other. It only 9 months to our relationship when time come to move. My parents decided to move to USA it was November of 1999 when moved to USA. I promised her that i will call her everyday and i will try to visit Pakistan every year to meet her. I remember she cried so much but being very understanding knowing that i would have to move. Once I moved all her friends would try to hook her with different guys forces her to forget about me that i am in USA and wouldn’t ever return and might start seeing other girls and she would’nt even find out about it. But our love was much stronger than this as she said it “ WHAT WE SHARE IN OUR HEARTHS IT”S STRONGER THAN ANY DISTANCE” and against all odds the in 2001 the time comes when her father was offered to move to USA and we were back together but still with some distance as they move to New york and i was in LA but it was at least better than being across world.
Our relationship started to grow as the time passes. We get to meet each other every six month and spent some wonderful time together. I was so fortunate that i got know her so close, she was my strength in any walk of life always giving me the confident always showing me the right path always being there for me when ever i need any assistant. I used to feel so happy to buy her gift because of lovely her smile and her expression of seeing her happy just felt me with joy. i remember that she went to the mall with my sister and there she like the 3 stone white gold diamond ring. My sister mentioned me about that ring and i started to save some money and put that ring on layaway and when i finally gifted her the ring she was so happy that she started crying and kept staring at ring keep for whole night and hug me thousand time. My life was perfect it was moving on to the right direction we were already promise our parents had decided once i settle down we will get married and I can’t wait to for that day to come in my life when she will be mine forever and I will get to spent all my life with her grow old with her raise our children's together but for all that to be real i need to work really hard on studies so that i can give her the better future, i can fulfill all her dreams give her everything she wants keep her really happy travel around the world visit all romantic places and strength our relationship even further. As our life was moving along we started to have little difference but nothing serious we were still very close and still love each other a lot and then in 2005 first time she refuses me when i ask her to come to LA for my university graduation she refuses to visit me to be part of my graduation i felt really torn down but then i convince myself that may be it is for better and beside she is busy with her older sister engagement and then again i will be visiting her few months after my job interview in Cisco System. My family moved to sanjose since me and mu brother got the jobs in cisco i was really happy that i finally getting close to being with her forever but our difference had grown as well and then the time come when the first time she really hurt me. It was December's 2005 i went to see her, i had a early flight so she was not at home so i waited for her to return from college but it was as pleasant as i was expecting she enter the room and look at me said you had gain so much of weight you look so bad and i couldn't say anything kept quite sat at the sofa for a while then went inside the bedroom. after a while her mother called me for dinner and during the dinner she started saying things that she doesn’t like me and she hate my last name etc and finally i had come out shell and replied back to her in a very harsh way that now a days you hate everything about me and if you want leave then leave me and went away. That night i could sleep at all and decided that i will take her to college in the morning and try sort thing outs but when in the morning i asked her that i will take to the college she does not have to go by bus she started yelling at me that does not me drop her to college and she will go my herself. I didn't want to argue so i went back to bed and she left without saying a word. In the evening on her way back to school she brought food for me and also made me fries. So i waited for her to eat with me but she went in bathroom and was talking to somebody when ask her to eat with me she refuses and said she already eat. finally when she came out she was for some reason very upset and went outside the house. I followed her outside to find out what it is why she so upset but yelled at me and ask me to leave her alone so i went inside the house again and give her time to relax.
when she came back in went into her room brought the envelope saying it her friend’s girl-friend picture and he can’t keep it with him for awhile and would like her to have for sometime. I felt really strange when she started going over the picture and making comments as she feel really jealous and hate that everybody in school like her etc. I tried to console her thinking it may be the girl thing she maybe feeling jealous because all her school friends like her. During my trip i notice many different thing which made very insecure but i was not sure how to react about it so i decided to keep my cool and let the time passes but when i discuss all things with brother my advice to speak to her and ask her not be friend with him again so i did it but it did not went as plan she started crying on the phone and starting saying thing she not that kind of girl who will cheat on men and i be honest i believe her and we decided we never talk about this incident. Then in early 2006 couple months before her sister wedding. She called me at evening sound very upset and bad on her sister and saying that she said to her that i am having an affair with the same guy and she just wanted me to know that there is nothing like that and she hate her sister of thinking her as such. I tried to listen to her and ask her to have some distance from him as it is not good if people pointing finger at you but she refuses to listen to me and said she does not want any advice it her life and she will do what she want to do be friend with who ever she want to be friend with. After that i did not say anything i felt that i have no right over her i have no right to ask her anything. In few days later my got breakup with his long lasting girlfriend and then he advice me that in order to have save relationship after sometime it is important to have some kind of commitment done. So i ask my mother that i need to get engage and spoke when spoke to her she completely refuse the proposal and start crying that she doesn't want to get engage if i force her she will never get married to me. I really didn’t understand as what exactly is happening to us we are hardly talking to each other and she doesn't want to get engage with me, doesn’t wan to see me and then her sister saying thinks as she having an affair with the same guys i was once feeling insecure about. I know i need to do something quickly to fixed everything but did not know how and what to do. So i decide i will with till i get to see her in her sister’s wedding in summer of 2006. So time comes i went to NY for 7 days for her sister wedding. But nothing happen as i planned things went from bad to worst. She started to ignore me complete giving me the cold looks and all this is hearth breaking that i could resist i was staying all night long crying thinking what i had done wrong but i could get any answer. Then one night i got the opportunity speak to her as what why she is doing this to me i was bagging to her to tell me what is wrong what i have done and there she standing stone hearth and said “IT’S NOT YOU IT’S ME AND I DON’T FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU” i ask her please don’t do this but she went away by saying she need some time and want me to give her some space. After that night i acted very stupidly and burn my hand and made the initial of her firstname. Next morning i told her that you had said that i would never hurt myself for you so here it is i put your initial on my shoulder with cigarette burn. she got really upset and away shouting at me. Same night at post marriage dinner we had big fight and she ask me go away from there. so i decided to leave my her mother forces me do stay till the wedding so i decide to stay but i left her house and went stay at the hotel with my friend. Thinks got even worst when my family found out about all this and they flew to new york to fix thing up but instead everything went even worst. Her parents had some sour talk with my mother and brother in law and the family got crunches in heart. Anyhow return
back to sanjose i was really stress could not concentrate on any i was crying all night could not eat anything for months i kept trying to fix things up but she won’t listen to me at all keep refusing to speak to me, kept on insulting me but i tried not give up and do whatever it take to her back even my condition started get bad i had multiple stress stroke but i could’nt give up on her so easily. I wasn’t going end my 7 years of relation because of the 7 days that took my world away from me. So after one year continuously trying to win her over i finally decide i will go to NY again i will try to speak to her and see if i can persuasive her to listen to me but i suppose what her reaction i going to me after all what had happen between us was not so easy to forget about. She told me that she have move on with her life and i should do the same. I could tell her how i feel, how much i love her that my life have no meaning without her but she refuses to speak to me and then i did what i should not have done as per my best friend advice i return all love letter cards and thing she have gifted me over the years. In my heart i could feel i shouldn’t be doing this but since my friend was confident that doing this will make her come to me as she would realize that you left her but it didn’t happen that way and made her even more mad at me. So the time passes by and i kept praying for things to get better between us keep thinking and hoping for her return that one day she would give me one more chance but anything i did was not enough and I would fall two steps further down and then try again to come back up again. In 2010 went i found that she is graduated from the FIT and saw her pic’s on facebook I couldn’t stop myself from seeing her. So i decided to go to NY and call her house and ask her mother if i could come and meet her mother and wish her for the graduation. i didn’t even know if they would allow me to come, if she would see me or not as we haven’t spoken for years but i still had to try so i went her house to met her and I notice she was very calm about be being there as if i am an unwanted guest and she doesn’t know me. At that time i knew i can’t fight with my faith any longer. In December of 2010 i found out she got married somebody else my heart was broken once again but I tried to me patient and except the faith of life that she does not belong to me i had lost her forever and my LOVE for her was not enough to bring her back into my life. It been more than 5 years since our breakup and there hasn’t been a single day that i don’t think about her. even today her memories are so fresh with me that i remember each everyday I spend with her. People say time heals everything but for me it still an ongoing process. I still think about her cry during the nights remembering the time we were together. its not that i didn’t try to forget about her but how hard i would try to forget her the more i would think about her. I wish if i only could get the second chance to prove myself to her that how much she meant to me that how much i need her that my life is nothing without her i don’t feel passionate about anything that i lost all off my confident that my life is meaningless without her that all the success in my life doesn’t make as happy as i used to get when she was with me when i see her playing around teasing me doing all kind of childish things. I am 28 years old now and I don’t know what is going to happen to me i had never love
anyone except her and i don’t think i would ever be able to love anyone the way i have loved her but now that she is married to someone else i only hope that he would love her more than i have ever loved her and always keep her happy and give her all the happiness in life that i would like to give her and fulfill all of her dreams.
