of these was probably less than five minutes. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I want to say that my twosomes have been far better and more fulfilling than these. These were really fun just for the experience and the stories, such as this one. As the host of the parties, I had social proof working for me. As you guys know from the missions (if you’ve made it this far into them yet), anyone can host a party. It’s very easy, very fun, and very rewarding. (Especially with dedicated, talented assistants like The Sneak and Topher helping you out.)
Where to put the seventh girl
Dear Elyts Squad, I’d like to tell you about the fivesome that was almost a sevensome. But first, a note on the name above. That moniker came from a thread in the Elite Forum. It’s a variation of the word elite, but modified so that it’s Style spelled backward. You all are geniuses. Anyway, now that I’m single, I’ve been having some pretty wild experiences. Some top anything I experienced while writing The Game. And I’m excited to share them with you – as long as you promise not to let these personal stories leave the inner circle here. By way of an introduction to these experiences, I’m going to let you in on a little secret that is the reason why my game is better now than ever before. It’s better because I’m using less of it. The secret is: use the least amount of game you can get away with. This is the balance point you always want to be at. As a beginner, you’re definitely going to want to use a lot of game. But the better you get, the less you’ll need. By that point, game will be such a subtle art that no one even knows you’re using any. This will occur once all the learning you’re doing right now and all the practice you’re putting in start to internalize through increasing amounts of successes, until you start to see the matrix and can move freely within it. Once this happens, the game becomes not a set of routines and techniques you enact on other people, but simply an awareness that allows you to be a bridge between who people are and what they want. It’s funny, but as I write this, I realize it sounds very close to my natural friend Dustin’s explanation in The Game of what he used to do. So, on to the field report: I recently had a series of parties for the Vh1 show The Pickup Artist 2 at my house. You all obviously know about them, since we made videos for you at PickUpLabs.com. Halfway through the parties, I broke up with my girlfriend. At the very next party, I had a threesome. The following week, I had another threesome. And afterward, I had a fivesome. And the amount of groundwork I put in on each
I also didn’t have an intention to sarge at my parties. I mainly wanted to make sure everyone had a good time. And whenever I saw anyone who felt out of place or wasn’t talking to someone, I’d make sure to introduce them into a group. Yet nonetheless, when I was sitting, talking to Lovedrop and his girlfriend, two girls I knew but hadn’t ever slept with sat down next to me. They both had boyfriends. As I was talking to Lovedrop, I realized that that one was lightly touching my leg and the other was lightly touching my chest. And all of a sudden, I realized: It’s on. That was all it took: just the awareness that they were interested and the courage to make a move immediately. Let’s call it the three-minute rule. Because if I decided to play it cool or wait for just the right moment to isolate them or escalate, the window of possibility would have closed. I said to them: “Let’s go pick out some music for the party.” And I led them up to my room – where, by the way, there was no stereo or even a remote control for the stereo. But it didn’t matter. They wanted to be there, but just needed an excuse that would make whatever happened next seem spontaneous and not premediated. We lay on my bed, and began talking. The girls were being very touchy-feely with each other.
WINGMAN | september 2009
And all I had to do was decrease the space between us, until my face was very close to one of theirs, and begin kissing her. Then I made out with the other girl, followed by a three-way makeout. As it escalated, tops came off and bottoms came off. I’m still not sure if they had singled me out to be with, or just wanted an excuse to be together. And, I suppose it doesn’t really matter. The following week, as the party was winding down, I was getting heavy IOIs from one girl, who was there with her friend. I brought them upstairs to pick out music again (this time I actually brought the remote control upstairs). When I noticed her friend was making sexual comments – and the girl who gave me the IOIs wasn’t getting upset by it – I figured that they were open to sharing. So, I lay with them on the bed, began making out with the girl who had given me the IOIs, and then made out with the other girl. Then I backed away, and let them lie on top of each other and make out. From here, I joined in and we all fooled around together. Eventually, the friend left, mainly because I think she knew her friend liked me and she didn’t want to interfere - even though her friend was perfectly fine with this. Interestingly, a lot of people think that the difficulty of sex with multiple women is figuring out the geometry of all the mouths and hands and body parts. That’s the easy aspect of it. The difficulty is figuring out the geometry of the different egos, relationships, moral boundaries, and social concerns – in other words, managing what’s going through their minds as they are experiencing this. Anyway, in next month’s newsletter, I’ll tell you how just as easily, I ended up in bed with six women at the same time. I am fully aware that this was not fair to the five guys who weren’t with girls that night. But although I didn’t work for it that night, it was the years of work I put in transforming myself from an AFC that made it even remotely possible. It’s definitely a far cry from that botched night with the Porcelain Twins I described in the book. Thanks for reading. And always remember the principles behind these experiences: awareness, calibration, and action. Yours,
puBLIsHEr Neil “style” strauss EXEcuTIVE EDITor scott “JGatz” mcKenzie EDITor IN cHIEF ray “Gypsy” timmons MANAGING EDITor Jay “the sneak” schultz proDucTIoN DIrEcTor George “evolve” rockwell ArT DIrEcTor George “evolve” rockwell
coNTrIBuTors Alexandra Glosioso brian “bolshevik” schroeder Chris “topher” Cutjapan David “Fate” Croushore Don Diego Garcia George “evolve” rockwell Jay “the sneak” schultz Neil “style” strauss ray “Gypsy” timmons scott “JGatz” mcKenzie stephen “bravo” Grosch oFFIcEs stylelife Academy 8491 sunset blvd. suite 348 West Hollywood, CA 90069 www.stylelife.com +1 (888) 843-4362 (toll free) +1 (310) 928-7895 (international)
s tY L e
september 2009 | WINGMAN
Longtime social artist The Sneak spent endless hours in the bars and clubs of Los Angeles and New York City talking to women and learning the secrets to turn cold approaches into genuine connections. As a coach of The Stylelife Academy, he used this knowledge to assist thousands of men to meet and date the women of their dreams. In Bar Cons, The Sneak explains how an old gamblers tool known as the prop bet can be used to accomplish a critical task in this meeting process. “When you first approach a new group, you want them to stay for long enough for you to hit the hook point. After that moment though, the tables have turned. Now they are the ones who want you to stay. It’s an incredible feeling. A well timed prop bet is a powerful tool for making it happen.” It is well understood that every story has a beginning, middle, and end. Of course, the end of one story is often the beginning of the next, in a cycle that continues from birth until death. For Fate, the story of his life has been a compelling one, but plot twists are always right around the corner. From his ironic introduction to The Game, as a gag gift after a bad breakup, to his white hot man love with The Sneak, Fate’s journey through the social arts has been a whirlwind of excitement. Despite it all, Fate has kept a secret for some time now, but a secret he will keep no more. So with a feather in his cap and a hand on his hip, Fate divulges his future plans. All he asks in return is that you never use this information as political blackmail.
Everyone has run into the “princess” before. She’s a gorgeous girl whose parents gave her everything she wanted. She surrounds herself with guys who spoil her and she gets mad when things don’t go her way. Or maybe if you haven’t met her, then you’ve encountered “the rocker girl.” You remember her, the one that only dated the local band guys regardless of how crappy their music was. Character types like “the rocker girl” and “the princess” can be valuable tools for the up and coming social artist. It takes a good amount of adaptability on the seducers part to alter their game for different types of women. “We still have to DHV, disqualify, and build comfort, but how we do it can change based on where we are and who we’re dealing with,” Evolve explains. His article this month teaches a social artist to use these character types to his advantage, by creating a seduction strategy for each type.
This month’s fashion article led Gypsy on a quest to discover just what makes the perfect choice of colors for your wardrobe. Amongst other interesting facts regarding the way the eye perceives color he also uncovered what he thinks might be an interesting experiment. “As I read about how one should select colors I stumbled upon an article that mentioned an interesting point,” Gypsy says. “It said that some of the colors you may already be inclined to pick or deem as ‘favorite colors’ are the ones you ought to be wearing to best showcase your complexion. It would be a fascinating study, for some stylish scientists, to determine if there is any fact behind this claim.”
Stylelife is proud to introduce the newly designed, premium version of Bolshevik. Now outfitted in luxurious, high quality patent leather with genuine gold trim, Bolshevik is the sophisticated choice for our upper echelon clientele who not only appreciate, but demand the finer things in life. You will marvel at the elegance of Bolshevik’s interior Swarovski crystal chandelier. You will stand breathlessly in awe of the magnificent splendor of Bolshevik’s refined luxury as displayed in the newly renovated cup holders and the gracefully streamlined contours of the re-designed stainless steel outer shell. Bolshevik seats four comfortably. See stores for details.
WINGMAN | september 2009
news and updates
INSIDE THE LAIR
Get ALL tHe upDAtes oN WHAt’s GoiNG oN iNsiDe stYLeLiFe HAppeNiNGs AND see WHAt We’ve beeN WorKiNG oN
EVoLVE TEAcHEs HIs AsTroLoGy rouTINEs
It’s the middle of August and preparations at the Stylelife offices are heating up for the next conference on September 5 and 6, 2009. Plans are being devised, slides are being created, and additional gifts are being created. The office buzzes with work and the refrigerator is packed with energy drinks as the gang puts in long hours. After the rousing success of the conference a few months earlier in May, the SLA crew expect another packed house. “In May, we had well over 200 determined men who came to learn how to change their life,” says Stylelife staffer The Sneak. “There were people from Australia, England, even Thailand. They all came to Los Angeles to improve hottest clubs in the world.” Constructed to be a conference suitable to beginners as well as more advanced students who want to brush up on their fundamental techniques, the Stylelife event featured Style, presentations from coaches Bravo, Evolve, Gypsy, and The Sneak, as well as a guest appearance from seduction community icon Hypnotica. “This past weekend was amazing!” said one conference attendee from Maine. “Great information, positive and helpful fellow students, and Stylelife coaches who were approachable and really cared about my improvement. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. Well worth the trip to Los Angeles.” “Based on the success of the May event, we’re anticipating another great weekend for aspiring social artists,” says staffer Gypsy. “Now quit asking us interview questions and let us get back to work,” he laughs.
THE sTuDENTs oF sTyLELIFE
their game, make new friends and find wingmen, and go out in some of the
JoE D. AND BrAVo TELL THEIr sTorIEs
september 2009 | WINGMAN
GEArED For ATTrAcTIoN
We FiLter tHrouGH tHe CrAp so You DoN’t HAve to crEsT WHITE sTrIps, ADVANcED sEAL $21.51
After being pretty satisfied with the older Crest White Strips that would sometimes slip and slide, I tried the dissolving ones from Listerine. Not impressed! I renewed my quest for a new product to test before a Stylelife conference so I grabbed these. The new version of Crest White Strips is a huge improvement over the older style! These are easier to apply and stay in place so well that they actually take a little bit of work to peel off. I tested them while talking on the phone and even drinking water and they passed. The entire box hasn’t been used yet, but already there’s a visible difference. Easily the best whitening strips I have ever used. Remember that when using product like this, your teeth may feel tender and cold drinks may be a little painful. But those effects are only temporary and just like the stuff the dentist uses and charges a lot more for, this product is safe on tooth enamel. -Bravo
VIkING JEWELry Is cooL AGAIN
Fashion trends are often recycled and what was in style last decade becomes stylish again. Sometimes it takes a little longer, like say a millennium in the case of brooches. A brooch is a decorative piece of jewelry originally designed to attach garments together. And yes we are talking about men’s fashion here, not your grandma’s. In fact brooches have a rich fashion history. Think of them as ancient and medieval decorative safety pins, commonly used in these periods to fasten the two front ends of cloaks together. The new emerging trend for men’s fashion is to pin a brooch into the lapel hole of a suit coat or outer winter jacket. Two popular motifs emerging so far are vintage British Victorian cameo brooches and spot on replicas of ornate ancient Celt and Viking pieces. This men’s brooch trend won’t last forever and we might not see it for another thousand years. Don’t miss your chance to add a conversation starting pop of flare to your outfit and get the chance to feel like a Dark Age warrior all in one fashionable swoop. -Gypsy Find your favorite historical replica brooch under the brooches tab at: http://www.urweg.com/
prEFusE 73: oNE WorD EXTINGuIsHEr
PErSonal STory: A while back I took a road trip with a friend from college. At the time, I listened to primarily heavy metal. I was stubborn about what I listened to and decided that anything less than heavy was “not for me.” My friend threw in a CD saying, “You’ll love this. You won’t be able to get it out of your head.” He was right. The album changed my music listening life forever. It was electronic, a genre of music that I couldn’t stand back then. I still remember listening to the first track on One Word Extinguisher, called “The End of Biters,” and thinking “this is awesome.” The album is a mix of completely artificial electronic beats, with a few hip hop tracks, and really weird interludes. One Word Extinguisher would be the first electronic/hip-hop album I ever purchased, and it would lead to a love for both hip-hop and electronic music of all different varieties. One Word Extinguisher was also one of the first albums to ever help me get a woman into bed. Put it on in the car next time you’re driving around with a girl. The album still serves me to this day as one of the most interesting sounds in my music collection. -Evolve
WINGMAN |september 2009
revieW bY boLsHeviK
What makes a great date movie? When the DVD tray closes and you and your gal begin to share a cinematic journey together on the sofa, the movie experience upon which you embark should be an emotional full house; sweet, funny, thrilling and perhaps a little sad. A great date movie engages a range of emotions and, of course, contains the requisite romantic connection between characters so that when the credits roll you both feel you’re getting off a roller coaster together. With that criteria established I’d like to introduce a quirky gem as an essential date films: Some Kind of Wonderful. Some Kind of Wonderful is a little-known and lesser appreciated cult classic from the eighties. Written and produced by John Hughes, the movie is the perfect hidden treasure to introduce to girls who are fans of his other high school movies, such as Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Eric Stoltz stars as Keith Nelson, a teenage outsider who pines for Amanda Jones’ affection, the most popular girl in school. The cliché problem is that Amanda currently dates the cool, arrogant rich kid, Hardy Jenns. With the assistance of his fellow outsider and tomboy friend Watts, Keith sees an opportunity to win the girl of his dreams and goes about planning an elaborate date to sweep Amanda off her feet. Obstacles arise as Keith is forced to wade through social opposition, outwit Hardy’s attempts to sabotage the date and battle his disapproving father and bratty sister. Some Kind of Wonderful is both tender and earnest, mixing the lighthearted social drama of a high school flick with more sincere themes of taking control of your life and realizing one’s potential. This story of a determined guy’s attempt to pull off the best date ever makes for a perfect date movie. With believable characters and a moving story, the core of the film is strong and even enhanced by the additional flair of adorably retro details: blazers with sleeves rolled up, The Psychadelic Furs and Billy Idol rock on the soundtrack, meticulously feathered hairdos, unnecessary neon and the wonderfully eighties moment when Hardy flicks his dark shades down onto his face, hops into his convertible Corvette and peels away. Well, there are no piano key ties, but part of the viewing pleasure is nostalgically musing over the movie’s many adornments from the Alf era. You can even pause the movie at some point and ask your date a great trivia question: in what other popular 80’s movie did the actress who plays Amanda appear? (Answer: she’s Lea Thompson who played Marty McFly’s mom Lorraine in Back to the Future). You can then impress your date with the following little nugget of movie lore: Eric Stoltz was originally cast as Marty McFly in Back to the Future and they filmed half the movie with him in the lead role until producer Robert Zemeckis decided he was too intense and replaced him with Michael J. Fox. True story! On the internet you can find still photos from production of Eric Stoltz as McFly. The movie also provides plenty of conversation topics you can pose to your date during or after. Isn’t Watts too pretty to be a tomboy? Can a girl fall in love with a boy from a single date? Why is popularity so crucial in high school? And finally, how much damage was done to the ozone from all the hairspray on the characters’ quaffed do’s?
SomE KIND of WoNDERfuL
DIrEcTED By HoWArD DEuTcH sTArrING: ErIc sToLTz, MAry sTuArT MAsTErsoN AND LEA THoMpsoN
september 2009 | WINGMAN
I hate the classy ones.
By Evolve Illustrations by Bernard Chang
instein once said, “Some men spend a lifetime in an attempt to comprehend the complexities of women. Others pre-occupy themselves with somewhat simpler tasks, such as understanding the theory of relativity!” He may not have had the seduction community in mind but Einstein is still right; understand-
ing women isn’t an easy thing to do.
One attempt that the community made years ago to aid in the understanding of women was to apply a rating system that ranged from 1 - 10. This system was to categorize women based on attractiveness, in an attempt to understand the way that their looks affected them socially. Though this system may have been a step in the right direction, it turned out to not only be a failure, but offensive to most women as well. Men would meet an “HB-7” who acted like an “HB-10” or “an “HB-9” who was as self-conscious as an “HB-5.” The question that was constantly raised was, “How was it possible to universally rate a person’s attractiveness?” The answer is obvious - there is no way. To most men, a woman’s personality, race, subculture, and looks clearly play a part in what makes a person attractive. The 1 - 10 scale that most of the seduction community used was superficial. To more accurately represent the differences in women social artists must look deeper, past the exterior and into their psyche. Rather than trying to group women into a category that is relatively meaningless, like the 1 - 10 scale did. It would have been more helpful to categorize them by personality type. When someone says, “She was a rocker girl,” most of us get an image in our heads of what this means. If that same person said, “She was a HB-8.5” we’d all think of something different, if anything came to mind at all. Seduction is a game of psychology, so like a psychologist who categorizes a patient to strategize a treatment, we too can use categorization to better strategize a seduction. By putting women into these mental groups a social artist can quickly assess the situation and decide which material may be right for this particular woman. Just remember, everyone is different. She may look like a Hollywood blonde but that doesn’t mean she’s as dumb as the stereotype suggests. Still there are no reasons not to have a basic strategy in mind as you enter into a set. Disclaimer: While no categorization will accurately define every woman, I have found it useful to use these categories to help me formulate a basic strategy for seduction. So, without further ado, here are my four female archetypes and some simple methods of dealing with them.
WINGMAN |september 2009
DADDY GAVE HER A CREDIT CARD AND AN ATTITUDE. GENTLEMEN START YOUR WALLETS.
TATTOOED AND PIERCED, SHE HANGS WITH THE BAD BOYS AND FIGHTS BETTER THAN YOU.
She travels with friends so be sure to talk to all of them. Once they approve, she’ll approve. Don’t be hesitant to tell her she’s not your type even if she really is. She wants what she can’t have. Be the one thing that money and an attitude can’t buy.
sAy THIs WHEN you MEET HEr: Hey quick
She lacks structure, so show her you know where you’re going in life. She’s a tough girl and she’s going to pick on you, but it’s all in good fun. Go blow for blow with her in the verbal arena and you will earn her respect. Slack at all in the backbone department and you’re going to get spanked. Come confidently, displaying goals and vision mixed with a quick wit and she will find that she is the one deserving of a spanking.
sAy THIs WHEN you MEET HEr: Hey, I have
question, I have to buy my niece a present for her birthday, and I want to get an opinion on what to get her. What do you think would be better for her jewelry, shoes, or a bag? Then, no matter what her answer is, say… Why would you choose that over the other stuff?
sAy THIs oNcE you HAVE HEr ATTENTIoN:
to get an opinion on something. My friend just got a tattoo of his girlfriend’s name across his back. I personally think it’s a terrible idea but my friend Jamie seems to think it’s sweet. What do you think about getting names tattooed on you?
sAy THIs oNcE you HAVE HEr ATTENTIoN:
You’re really not my type, I mean, you’re pretty but I’m really not into [blondes/brunettes].
I could never date you. You’re way too nice for me. I really need someone with a little bad girl in her. I think I’m just too crazy for you.
THE NEW AGE cHIck
SHE WEARS A CHASTITY BELT CALLED MORALS… GOOD LUCK FINDING THE KEYS.
SHE’S CONSULTED HER CRYSTALS, ANGELS, AND STARS TO FIND OUT YOU’RE NOT FOR HER.
Start each sentence with “I feel…” or “Spiritually, I believe…” Make something up about her “aura” and her “energy” and she’ll understand. Their worlds are a combination of health foods, star signs, and yoga teachers. Break into any of these worlds with some excitement and more knowledge than the average guy and she’ll be yours forever and ever and ever… if that’s what you want.
sAy THIs WHEN you MEET HEr: Hey, I
She’s tied up in a world of structure and routine. Men try to impress her by agreeing with her views. Be the exception and disagree. Bring Miss Conservative to places that disconnect her from a boring routine lifestyle. Reveal your value without bragging, by relating stories that showcase your strengths and interesting talents.
sAy THIs WHEN you MEET HEr: Really
quickly, I have to ask you a question. I heard today, on the radio, these guys asking these 4th grade questions to people and no one could answer them. It blew my mind. So, I want to ask you, can you name all five oceans?
sAy THIs oNcE you HAVE HEr ATTENTIoN:
can’t stay long, but I have to ask… Do you guys believe in astrology? Because I was talking to a friend who was taking some on-line astrology course and he told me some stuff that blew my mind. What do you think, do you believe the stars really effect peoples lives?
sAy THIs WHEN you HAVE HEr ATTENTIoN: Ask her what her sign is, then say, “Wow
That’s it we’re getting divorced, and guess what, I’m keeping the dog and the house in the Hamptons!
you’re a [her sign]! I’m a [your sign]! We’ll never get along. We’d be fighting all the time!
september 2009 | WINGMAN oCtober 2008
of your repertoire, and a one-man show is not very interesting. A common but rarely discussed problem with the singularity of deep thrusting during intercourse is that eventually, soft tissue inside the vagina can be bruised from overuse. Women do not often discuss this problem, as it can be slightly embarrassing to turn down a date “because your vagina is injured.” If the sex is really rough, really good, and then really non-existent, a broken vagina could be a potential reason. Soft tissue needs time to heal. In order to prevent your girl from going MIA while she recovers, and effectively giving her time to lose interest or find a clit-master, mix it up before you burn her out. I’m not sure when all this chaos about dick size being correlated with the ability to pleasure a woman started, but I am sure it is time for a change in sex-master criteria. You boys are learning the art of seducing women – so add these tips to your list! Women are beautiful and complicat-
THE PENIS myTH
A woman’s perspective on the matter or size
For as long as I can remember, boys have been bragging about the size of their dicks. I remember way back in middle school my guy friends would have sleepovers that inevitably seemed to involve penis-measuring contests. If a boy’s penis was shorter and fatter than the standard among the unscientific crowd of sixth graders, his new nickname immediately became “choad.” In high school, my friends and I used to try and guess the penis size of any and every romantic interest. Of course, we had no idea, no way to actually gauge the prospect’s package, but there was one method that seemed to bring consensus among the penis picking masters, myself included. We would guess by confidence. “Is he arrogant? And, not especially attractive? Well then, he must be hung,” was a common end of discussion. As I got older, more experienced, and just wiser, I learned that penis size doesn’t account for all of men’s securities but I was disappointed to learn that it still accounts for much more than it is worth. Listen guys and listen closely. The size of your dick is not that important! What is more important than dick size, you ask? The movement of your tongue, for one. Your receptiveness to what a girl likes or really thinks is boring, for another. Don’t get me wrong, every woman likes to have “her brains fucked out” but at the end of the day, we care more about the depth The unfortunate on the outside, fortunate on the underside’s opposite was giggled about as well, “I just don’t get it! He’s so cute, so cool and so shy!” most often rendered the response “Honey, he must be tiny. Sorry about that.”
ed creatures and our orgasms are almost entirely mental. Tease us, go down on us for centuries, learn where the hell our g-spots are, and once you find these g-spots – massage them! And, the clit at the same time, if you can! What is the point of this article? Be confident that you really know how to pleasure a woman, with your skills, not just your dick. On a final note, I would like to point out that every man and woman is unique and sexually exciting. Worry less about your particular size and shape and more about finding a physically compatible partner. Big dicks deserve deep pussies. Let me put it this way, if your penis has nowhere to go, it is going right into the cervix. While the cervix and g-spot are relatively close in distance, this territory is far from pleasure. Find a partner who appreciates your package because it fits with hers and then woo her with all of your other skills. Keeping your woman coming back for more is all about having more to show her.
WINGMAN | september 2009
b y to p h e r
ite music will help you push harder in workouts. Make no mistake, being a successful social artist takes the same dedication, sweat, and tears as any other winning athlete. As social artists, sarging is our workout. Music has the power to quiet our limiting mind and amp up our freedom mind. Listening to music helps you stick to your routine, recall past successes, and raise our best self to the surface. Some frequent social networking jetsetters call it “pre-partying.” But for our end goals, let’s keep the alcohol consumption minimal if any. Dr. Karageorghis concluded that anchoring music should be between 120-140 beats per minute (BPM) as it coincides with most dance and rock
THE SouNDS of STATE
Music to get you in the mood for anything
In early August 2008, I watched the telecast of the U.S. Olympic trials in various events, such as swimming, gymnastics, and diving. America’s finest athletes skillfully competed for limited spots on the national team to represent their country. In each competition, the camera view would pan to the athletes before their event and more than likely the Olympians would have their MP3 players jacked into their ears. “Music inspires movement, like smell, it can penetrate areas of the brain that language alone doesn’t reach,” says Costas Karageorghis, PhD, a sports psychologist at Brunel University in London. The music the athletes are listening to anchors and revs up their mind, focus, and performance. Anchoring is defined as applying a gesture, smell, touch, or sound just before a state peaks, either in oneself or someone else, so that the anchored state can be re-activated by reapplying that gesture, smell, touch or sound. This performance tool reminds your brain and your body that you have done the action before, and that you can do it again. It is somewhat like triggered muscle memory. Performance confidence plays an active role in how we successfully attack challenges in life. How can an aspiring social artist use this information? Like Olympians, we practice, practice, practice our skills in the field of seduction so that when the main event for the gold metal (or in our case the dream girl comes along), we will be ready. At times, we go out and sarge, but find our performance to be inconsistent. “I wasn’t in state” is a common excuse. We remedy this with warm up sets, banter with wings, and phone calls to best friends and close family members before entering a venue to excite our social muscles and unlock our extroverted, charismatic voice. Personally, music works best for me. A song can take you back to a specific time and memory, especially one of enthusiastic fun, eager adventure, and sexual success. According to a recent fitness study by HampdenSydney College in Virginia, listening to your favor-
music and builds “an aesthetic appreciation for that tempo.” Aside from magnifying social state, listening to music at an elevated tempo also allows you to adapt to loud, high energy club and bar surroundings much easier as it will accustom your ears and voice to adapt and project better. Practice talking to your wing while you are in the car driving, with the music turned up high. Experiment with upbeat music and listen to that playlist before arriving at your next sarging venue. Intensifying your state and voice will result in a domino effect of welcoming opportunities and fun success. Here are some songs off my own playlist:
TopHEr’s Top TuNEs
• • • • •
“The Name’s Bond…James Bond” on the Casino Royale Soundtrack “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers “Good Life” by Kanye West featuring T-Pain “Don’t Stop ‘til You Get Enough” by Michael Jackson “Reptilia” by The Strokes
september 2009 | WINGMAN
HAppILy EVEr AFTEr
A Stylelife fairy tale
woman, you may as well have some stand-ins. My wingman and I were out three nights a week or so, looking for new prospects or just for some fun, and then I met her. When I first saw her from across the bar, I was locked into a mixed 7set. I knew this set wasn’t going anywhere; they were far too drunk, but they did offer great social proof. A few minutes later I would make my move. I saw her looking at me as I walked up, about 5 feet away our eyes met. It felt like a straightforward open, nothing fancy. I came up with this stellar opener: “Hi!” And she walked away. Ouch!
WHy DID you DEcIDE To LEArN THE socIAL ArTs?
I scanned the room looking for my wing, then When I began my journey into this world, my motive was clouded by uncertainty. At that time, I did not understand myself well enough to accurately postulate what my ultimate goal might be. It is ironic that in those days I thought I was learning to understand women, when I needed to learn to understand my own motivations, diagnose my own problems, and strive to reach my unimagined potential as a man. Two and a half years (and counting) have passed, and I know that even that most familiar of entities, my own life, will never be fully understandable. However, the progress I have made has allowed me to develop the type of trust in myself needed to have the confidence to make one of life’s most difficult, frightening, and monumental decisions: I’m getting married. My outlook on life has changed a lot in two and a half years, and with it my goals have changed. At first, I just wanted to have fun. Later, I was certain I would be single forever. Eventually I opened myself up to the possibility of multiple long-term relationships, or even monogamous long term relationships with different women. Everything changed one night last September. At the time, I was casually dating three women. I knew there was no future with any of them, but while you’re waiting to meet the right I saw him moving in on the set, my set, but he was after her friend. “Okay,” I thought. “Give him a few minutes and then I can wing and get my second chance.” Within five minutes of talking, I knew there was something different about this girl. Our conversation was effortless, our similarities striking. I discovered her passions and shared mine. I knew what I needed to do. The next day I called all three of the girls I had been seeing. “I’ve met someone else and decided I’m going to see her exclusively.” Then I called her. Luckily, my intuition was on and she called back. In three weeks time we made it official, nine months later we moved in together. At some time in the future, we’ll vow to spend the rest of our lives together. I know that our relationship is only possible because of the growth I experienced in Stylelife. It was a long and hard, yet fun and rewarding journey to get here, and I hope that all of your journeys have the happiest ending you can imagine. I know mine did.
WINGMAN | september 2009
THE MAN WHO SPEAKS HIS TRUTH
By Don Diego Garcia in his New York Times bestseller The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, Neil strauss called Zan “the undisputed heavyweight of the genre.” Neil also added “in four years, he never once asked for advice, he only gave it.” Now that another four years have passed, stylelife sat down with Zan to catch up and discuss his most recent ideas and revelations. Zan’s straightforward and direct approach to meeting women provides the social arts a unique and refreshing point of view. “Hello” or “Nice to see you again” then I’m kissing her right away. And if I just meet a girl, and she’s off to meet her friends, I’m always pointing at my cheek, smiling and saying, “OK. Where’s my sugar?” (laughs) before she leaves. Telegraph your aliveness to her. And don’t dial it down and hide the fact that she is a woman and you are a man, and you will appear more powerful.
I’D LIkE To sEE HoW you DrAW THE DIsTINcTIoN BETWEEN puTTING your sEXuAL INTENT ForWArD ATTrAcTIVELy?
man; women will open themselves to that kind of intent.
WHAT’s your MoTTo?
I’m all about being pretty delighted in this world. My mantra is “ease and delight.” My encounters have to be fun, and they have to be alive and enjoyable for her and for me. I am the most direct guy that I know. I don’t know anybody more direct than me. And I don’t mean cave-man. But, a woman knows in ten seconds what I’m all about because I tell her in ten seconds what I’m all about.
The difference behind being masculine and using
HoW ArE you DoING, zAN?
your sexual energy for good in the world (versus) being creepy and cave man and a pig is empathy and intent. If your intent is to go and try and conWHAT’s THE “zAN METHoD”?
WHAT TEcHNIquEs Do you kNoW To ABoLIsH ApproAcH ANXIETy?
I put invitations into the world, and I leave them
“I’M IN THIs ToWN THIs WEEkEND; I JusT GoT HErE, I’M LEAVING IN THrEE DAys. you sHouLD cANcEL ALL your pLANs AND spEND THE ENTIrE TIME WITH ME.”
quer women and try and get a bunch of women
out there. That’s my method. The moment I talk to a girl who I like, I notice there’s something about her, something interesting that I like, the way she smells, or I just like something about her, I will tell her that, and I will say, “You know what? You should come with me.” I will say, “You and I should get together. You should come and spend the entire weekend with me. I’m in this town this weekend. I just got here, I’m leaving in three days. You should cancel all your plans and spend the entire time with me.” And she can say, “I have a boyfriend.” and I will say, “I respect that. I understand. But I had to say it anyway because it’s who I am.” And if she says, “I can’t get together with you tonight.” Then I will say, “I understand. And you are still invited.” I never reel it back in.
The secret is that if a guy would just show up in the world, in other words, just get out of his house and just walk up to women and say “Hello, I’m a little nervous, but I wanted to say ‘Hi’ to you.” He would be shocked at the results he gets. Woody Allen said that 90% of success is just showing up. It’s true.
I ToTALLy BELIEVE IT. so WHAT Is your METHoD For GETTING cLosEr WITH A WoMAN?
in your bed without having the empathy that she is a person, then that attitude will be telegraphed to the world, and women will say, “OK, that guy I did not like.” As opposed to if your intent is to share experiences with women because you love women, and you are not afraid to hide that as a
If I like her, then I’m pretty close physically to her from the get go. If there is any greeting or
september 2009 | WINGMAN
THE fouR SEASoNS of SKIN ToNE
Choosing the right colors
Average men’s fashion choices lack a proper selection of color options. Most men tend towards blacks, grays, and browns because they feel that they’re safe shades to choose for an outfit. If you fall into this category you are eliminating a wide array of style choices. The reality is that most men don’t incorporate color into their wardrobe because they’re unsure what colors work for their skin type. The simple solution to determining this is known as season color analysis. The basics of this system are simple. First decide which season your skin tone is and then take note of the colors that mesh well with your season and those that do not.
WINTEr This skin type has colorations that are, deep, intense, and rich. The skin complexion of winters may be porcelain white with pink and blue undertones, a mix of yellow and olive, or it can be dark. People who would be typically classified as winter skin tones have dark hair and light skin or very dark hair and dark skin. The best colors to compliment the skin tone for winters are deep, rich, intense hues. Appropriate dark colors are navy blue, charcoal, and even black. Lighter color options include: vibrant blues such as French and royal blue, pinks, yellows, icy pastels, and even bright white. Winters should avoid muted tones such as beige, orange, gold, because these make your skin appear unhealthy. In addition, shy away from earth tones because they have the effect of fading your tone. suMMEr Summers are natural blondes and some brunettes, usually ones with pale skin and light eyes. The skin coloration for summers is very pale and sprING This skin tone has slight golden tinges with either peach or milky white skin. Overall the skin complexion is usually extremely light ivory. Hair colpink with blue or pink undertones. To tell the difference between winters and summers note that summers are usually natural blondes and winters are brunettes. The best color choices are soft neutrals and pastels, as well as muted colors ors range from golden blond, strawberry blond, or auburn. Most springs also have rosy cheeks and freckles. It can sometimes be difficult to distinguish between whether one is an autumn or a spring, but there is a quick shortcut for doing so. Spring eye colors are always paler and autumns have dark eyes. The best color choice for springs are very pale and soft colors, such as ivory, peach, tan, golden yellow, golden brown, and aqua. For more vibrant color options choose from bright greens, true reds, clear blues, and coral. Always shy away from colors that are dreary, muted, or dark. Avoid black and white because they are too contrasting.
with cool undertones. Powder blue, pink, mauve, lavender, plum, and pale yellow will complement summers. This season should avoid strong, vivid hues because they will drown your complexion out. Summers shouldn’t wear earth tones and should also avoid black and orange.
AuTuMN Classic hair colors that typify autumns are most redheads, except fair auburns and strawberry blondes, and flaxen blondes. Autumn skin tones are obviously warm with orange ruddy undertones. Redhead autumns generally have porcelain white skin. A short cut to understanding what colors you can wear as an autumn is to simply think about the colors associated with the turning of the leaves in this season. Autumns look great in shades like tan, beige, olive, orange, gold, and dark brown. Stay away from clear bright colors, like pure white and black which will make your complexion look faded. As well, avoid true pastel colors because they will look cold against your complexion.
If you have trouble determining your season many make up professionals, such as the ones you find in department stores offer you free color analysis when they pitch products to you. Stay tuned and stay stylish.
WINGMAN | september 2009
The Bar Con
by the sneak
“So you don’t think I can drop this match and have it land and stay balanced on its side,” said Bravo, confirming our wager. He then bent the match down the middle into a V shape and dropped it. I was out another drink. The last time I was suckered, my tormentor was able to get a bystander who admitted to having a poor vocabulary to name over 90 words that didn’t contain the letters A, B, C, J, K, M, P, Q, and Z in fewer than two minutes. The stipulation was that Bravo could supply the first 5 words. They were “One, two, three, four, and five.” The bystander continued on and it turns out that not a single number between one and ninety-nine have any of those letters. Go figure. After being swindled enough times by Bravo, Evolve, and Style, I’ve learned it isn’t financially wise to bet against anyone of them if they claim to be able to do something miraculous such as drink a shot out from under a baseball hat without touching the hat itself. But, buying the drink is just a small price to pay for what I gain from these bets. After all, every bar bet is a potent and valuable tool that can be used to demonstrate higher value (DHV). In many respects a bar bet is a mini, interactive performance and it’s sure to bring fun into any group’s night. People – especially when out at a bar with friends – are receptive to being entertained. The social artist running the con is in for a treat too, there’s nothing quite like the enjoyment of seeing that bewildered look on your marks face when their “sure thing” wager goes horribly wrong. Having the cutest girl in the pub buy you a drink
i ALWAYs Lose At tHis GAme. reALLY tHe CHANCes Are so LoW tHAt i’m GoiNG to Come out oN top...i promise.
isn’t so bad either, and for more than just the obvious reasons. Buying a girl a drink is the oldest trick in the book, and often one of the least effective. It generally positions the man as a spineless supplicant trying too hard to win a woman’s affection through spending money on her. A bar con is the precise opposite. It allows you to flip the gender script and put yourself in the attraction position. Sure, you used a sneaky little gambit to get there, but now it’s her who is breaking out the wallet to spend some money on you. You’ve transcended the drab, everyday norm and become the exception. This positions you as the prize, waiting to be won over by the money she spends on you. These cons were originally designed, as per their name, to be accomplished in bars. For the savvy social artist, however, bar cons can be translated to any social event where the basic tools needed for the con are available. Slip one in next time you hit a lull in a conversation or feel the need to spice up a woman’s attraction level. EVoLVE’s THrEE pErFEcT coN TIps
When setting up cons, a little feigned incompetence goes a long way. To bait them into it, you act like you have no idea what you’re doing. Say something like, “I’ve never actually done this before, so don’t make fun of me if this goes horribly wrong.”
Do not bet a kiss or anything sexual, because it will make you seem needy or worse yet, creepy. Do not bet for her phone number, because phone numbers should be properly earned, not ever won in a game.
If you think she many not settle up on her end of the bargain, include a referee. This person can be a random passerby or a friend of hers. Having someone to witness the bet will increase her chances of getting your girl to pay up.
september 2009 | WINGMAN
You’re getting a little too comfortable. this is a public place.