Pornography Addiction and its Effects on the Marriage and Family
by Robert Runge To Fulfill Requirements for Theology 330 D03 201320 May 2013
Pornography has been a part of human culture for thousands of years. There is archeological evidence of it in ancient near east cultures from Egypt, Greece and Rome. “Evidence of graphic pornography can be found among the relics of many ancient civilizations. In Roman culture, for instance, erotic paintings dating from the 1st century A.D. cover walls in the ruins of volcanoengulfed Pompeii.”1 Sadly pornographic material is far more prevalent and readily available today than ever before. It is this saturation and ease of access that gives rise to so many dysfunctional families and marriages. Through the use of research and statistics it will be shown over the course of this work how this issue, pornography, has lead us down the garden path to a sinful and harmful lifestyle leaving many Christian homes in ruins. Scripture is very clear on what harm sexual sin is to us and how it separates us from God. Romans 1:18-31 and 1 Corinthians 10:8 show us what happens: “We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day.”(ESV) This paper is an effort to quantify the damaging effects of porn and its addiction on individuals, marriages and families and outline the ways to heal from both Biblically and from a secular world view.. The question to begin is: What is pornography? One definition would be: Pornographic materials combine sexual explicitness with degradation and/or violence in a manner that appears to condone the degradation or violence… In contrast, erotic materials present egalitarian and consensual depictions of sexuality, in which the pleasure of both partners is the focus.2 Another source looks at pornography in this way:
1
Brunet, Robin. "Smut through the Ages." British Columbia Report, Mar 10, 1997. 27, http://search.proquest.com/docview/207180006?accountid=12085. Harry Reis and Susan Sprecher, eds., Encyclopedia of Human Relationships, 3rd ed. (Thousand Oaks: SAGE Publications, 2009), s.v. “Pornography, Effects On Relationships,” http://rx9vh3hy4r.search.serialssolutions.com/?ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&ctx_enc=info%3Aofi%2Fenc%3AUTF8&rfr_id=info:sid/summon.serialssolutions.com&rft_val_fmt=info:ofi/fmt:kev:mtx:book&rft.genre=book%20item &rft.title=Encyclopedia+of+Human+Relationships&rft.a (accessed May 3, 2013).
2
any sort of sexually explicit visual or written material. The most restrictive definition would confine it to sexually explicit material that portrays and celebrates violent and degrading acts. In between are definitions that pick out material that is “obscene,” another term that poses definitional problems.3 Both definitions are correct in their own manner and broad sense of what constitutes porn. God‟s Word however tells us we are to avoid such things. In Paul‟s first letter to Corinth chapter six: Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. (ESV) This material which comes in many forms is both prevalent and easily accessible nearly anywhere and everywhere. It permeates everything from broadcast TV, cable, internet, movies, magazines and even satellite radio. It is this ease and prevalence that makes it so hard to avoid for men and even women; in fact, even for teens and preteens: In a study reported to the 1986 Attorney General's Commission on Pornography by Doctor Jennings Bryant, 600 American males and females of junior high school age and above were interviewed about their part in the real life involvement with pornography. Dr. Bryant found that 91% of the males and 82% of the females admitted to having been exposed to X-rated hardcore porn.4 To quote Mark Driscoll in his booklet; speaking of the Apostle John of the Bible in 1 John 2: John's dire warning is that the lust of our eyes is continually enticed by the images and perversions of the world in which we live and we must remain vigilant to not love the tempting sins of the world. John's warning rings even more true in a culture where, because of technology, it is now easier to see someone naked than to get something out of the fridge—to get to the fridge you at least need to stand up and walk.5
3
Bevir Mark, ed., Encylopedia of Political Theory (Thousand Oaks: SAGE Publications, 2010), s.v. “Pornography,” http://go.galegroup.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu:2048/ps/i.do?action=interpret&id=GALE|CX1959200368&v=2.1&u=v ic_liberty&it=r&p=GVRL&sw=w&authCount=1 (accessed April 29, 2013).
4
Driscoll, Mark. Porn Again Christian. Seattle: Mars Hill Church, n.d. http://theresurgence.com/books/porn_again_christian (accessed April 27, 2013).
Pastor Driscoll mentions technology; it is this technology that truly assists the ease of availability and created a whole new type of porn, internet porn. Internet porn constitutes a large portion of pornographic imagery and content. Indeed in fact there is more porn on PC‟s than anywhere else. Every second -28,258 internet users are viewing pornography. Every second - 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines. Every 39 minutes: a new pornographic video is being created in the United States. Furthermore, as of this writing, there are approximately 4.2 million pornographic websites, which is 12% of the total websites; 20% of men studied admitted to accessing pornography at work, 47% of Christians said that it was a major problem in the home, and a staggering 53% of men who belong to Promise Keepers.6 Christians are not immune, even the workplace is not immune. “Half of the largest 500 U.S. companies have had to take disciplinary action against employees sharing digital pornography or other illicit images at the workplace, a study released…”7 Indeed these images are that easy to acquire and to pollute and dilute the covenant of marriage and institution of family. This issue goes beyond damaging the individual. Exposure to pornography is shown in numerous studies to have negative effects on relationships, cause aggression and even crime. Research has also shown that the long term exposure to obscene materials devalues marital relations and objectifies women. “Sexual gratification in pornography is not a function of emotional attachment, of kindness, of caring, and especially not of continuance of the relationship”8 The effects of porn in divorce: “According to a recent report in Time magazine, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers stated that pornography use has been implicated
6
Tarver, Mary. "The Effects of Pornography Addiction on Marital Consent." Studia Canonica 44, no. 2 (2010): 343-67, http://search.proquest.com/docview/863135473?accountid=12085. 7 Illicit workplace pictures found in half of U.S. enterprises. (2005, Jun 17). TechWeb, , 1-1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/?accountid=12085
8
ZILLMANN, DOLF. “Effects of Prolonged Consumption of Pornography On Family Values.” Journal of Family Issues 9, no. 4 (1988 December): 518-44.
in more than half of recent divorces in the United States.”9 Jesus spoke of the sin of adultery that is committed with the eyes. Matthew 5:28 “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (ESV) The same study stated before, says this regarding how women feel about their male partners: This distress often takes the form of women stating that their partner's use feels just like an affair. Distressed women report that a partner's heavy use of sexually explicit materials compromises their sense of intimacy and closeness to the partner, makes them feel like sexual objects.10 Another study spoke of this regarding the adverse effects of exposure to porn on attitudes and relations. This exposure causing: …greater acceptance of pre- and extramarital sex and greater tolerance for nonexclusive sexual access to intimate partners…that male and female promiscuity are natural…lowered the evaluation of marriage making this institution appear less significant…reduced the desire to have children.11 Yet more study has shown that “the primary reason that men use sexually explicit materials is to aid in solitary masturbation.”12 Yet another perspective: … it is clear that pornography affects the family. “Pornography eliminates the warmth of affectionate family life” through traumatic events such as seeing a parent masturbate; encountering pornographic material through magazines, films, or Internet; witnessing parental conflict; a decrease in parental time and attention; increased risk of parental job loss and financial strain, etc. 13
9
Reis, Harry T., and Susan K. Sprecher, eds. Encyclopedia of Human Relationships. 3 vols. Thousand Oaks, Calif.: SAGE Publications, Inc, 2009. 10 ibid 11 Zitzman, ST, and MH Butler. "Wives' experience of husbands' pornography use and concomitant deception as an attachment threat in the adult pair-bond relationship." Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity 16, no. 3 (July 2009): 210-240. CINAHL Plus with Full Text, EBSCOhost (accessed April 27, 2013). 12 ibid 13 Tarver, Mary. "The Effects of Pornography Addiction on Marital Consent." Studia Canonica 44, no. 2 (2010): 343-67, http://search.proquest.com/docview/863135473?accountid=12085.
These research results speak very loudly as to the damage pornography and its use has on marital relationships. The amount of studies that have been done in this area is astounding as these examples have shown. The overall take on this is as follows: the effects of repeated exposure to standard, non-violent, and commonly available pornography included: (a) increased callousness to women; (b) trivialization of rape as a criminal offense; (c) distorted perceptions about sexuality; (d) increased appetite for more deviant and bizarre types of pornography (escalation and addiction); (e) devaluation of the importance of monogamy; (f) decreased satisfaction with partner's sexual performance, affection, and physical appearance; (g) doubts about the value of marriage; (h) decreased desire to have children; and (i) viewing non-monogamous relationships as normal and natural behavior.14 These attitudes are a result of our collapsing culture, the sinful nature of man caused by the fall and the addictive nature of the sin of porn. It is not as though it has taken centuries for the decadent America culture to reach this point. To quote Pastor Mark Driscoll again:
Our culture is becoming increasingly sexualized and it has taken forty years to go from one dirty magazine under the counter at the local convenience store to today where it is expected that junior high boys have at least one nude shot of their junior high girlfriend on their cell phone.15
Pornography addiction is not unknown or unusual and research tells us it is a full on treated compulsion by mental health professionals. “…men confessed that online pornography was eating up hours formerly devoted to other things. One in five said pornography took away from time they used to spend working, and another fifth said it took time away from hours they used to devote to their partner or their children.”16 In one particular study levels of addiction were used in order to evaluate the results of the overall effects. An example: “When a person enters Level 7, he is viewing pornography for hours on a daily basis; and the pornography he views has
14 15
ibid Driscoll, Mark. Porn Again Christian. Seattle: Mars Hill Church, n.d. http://theresurgence.com/books/porn_again_christian (accessed April 27, 2013). 16 Tarver, Mary. "The Effects of Pornography Addiction on Marital Consent." Studia Canonica 44, no. 2 (2010): 343-67, http://search.proquest.com/docview/863135473?accountid=12085
become more "hard-core" and violent. His thoughts are dominated by thoughts of pornography and sex, and he is acting out sexual fantasies.”17 The downward spiral of addiction to porn is no different than that of a drug user or alcoholic and no less damaging. The statistics and research evidence is telling of where America and western culture is and the state of it. It is hard to believe that God destroyed the world by water only approximately 1500 years after creation because of the corruptness and sin and it‟s been nearly 4000 years since then; how much worse can it be? As mentioned previously, Christian men are not immune to the use of pornographic material or its addiction. It grabs them and holds them. A 2010 doctoral thesis submitted to Liberty University by Farid Awad details at length what happens to a believer when they fall into porn addiction. How Satan binds the heart like a vise and drags them deeper into the pleasure of the habitual sin. The believer forgets who they are in Christ and entangles themselves in the web of deceit. And the world laughs at us: …today the media salivates as they expose ministers caught in the trap of pornography. The name of Christ is profaned among the unbelievers because of the poor decisions of Christians who, like Samson, exchanged the indwelling of the Holy Spirit for their lust. 18 Pastor Mark Driscoll continues to speak on the aspect of the human heart and giving a „practical theology of pornographic lust‟. God‟s word is filled with Scripture that speaks on the human condition and the ease of which humans fall into sin and deception. Pastor Driscoll in his pamphlet quotes much in Proverbs which speaks of the vanity of those who are delight in sin and
17
Tarver, Mary. "The Effects of Pornography Addiction on Marital Consent." Studia Canonica 44, no. 2 (2010): 343-67, http://search.proquest.com/docview/863135473?accountid=12085. 18 Awad, Farid. “Pornography Addiction: A Cognitive Approach in Combating the Lies Christian Males Believe.” diss., Liberty University, 2010. In digital commons, http://digitalcommons.liberty.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1423&context=doctoral (accessed May 1, 2013).
foolishness. But those who sit in secret and indulge in porn are more like Isaiah 47:10-11 referring to Babylon and its sins: You felt secure in your wickedness, you said, “No one sees me”; your wisdom and your knowledge led you astray, and you said in your heart, “I am, and there is no one besides me.” But evil shall come upon you, which you will not know how to charm away; disaster shall fall upon you, for which you will not be able to atone; and ruin shall come upon you suddenly, of which you know nothing. (ESV) The Bible also speaks loudly of promises made by God and healing that comes from Him and His word. There is hope for those lost in the sin of pornography. Believers who are lost in the sin of porn and think there is no help for need only look as far as the Bible for answers. “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.” (1 John 5:14 ESV) Asking for help is the first step towards healing and knowing where help is. Paul speaks of repentance in his second letter to the Corinthian church when he says “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”(ESV) Sin leads to death which can be physical or spiritual or both. Healing comes from the Lord. Every day families are healed and marriages repaired by God and His Spirit. Much of the sin of porn comes from how individuals and families handle stress, loss and grief. If the foundation is not built first on Him then who will the believer turn to in these times? If not God then the partner (spouse) if not them then a counselor who will they turn to for help? There are secular ways to find help in addition to God but He should be primary. The resources for help come in the forms of counseling for addiction, groups like: Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous and Sexual Recovery Anonymous. These and groups like them serve the purpose of helping those suffering from this form of addiction. They may serve as a spring board towards healing along with counseling from a qualified therapist or mental health professional. However these will do nothing without
the true desire to change and for many it will not come until they are lying on their backs on the floor with only one way to look, up. Then and only then can God begin the process of healing and it is not an easy one. Just because it was easy falling in the hole doesn‟t mean it will be easy digging out of that place. If God can forgive a murderer like Moses or Paul, an adulterer like David or a thief on a cross He can heal anyone. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”(Romans 8:28 ESV) In conclusion this work has shown with numerous examples of what pornography is by definition and observation. Though it comes in many forms and is purveyed many ways it remains the down fall of many; mostly men. Technology has helped this sin along and the problem grows everyday as porn in some form slips under the radar and the culture continues to accept it. As an addiction, porn is as evil and as ugly as any like drugs, alcohol or gambling. It leads to destruction of not just the individual but marriages and families. Through multiple research studies this has been shown and how selfish this particular addiction is. Christians are not immune in this problem and modern media feeds on those who fall from grace because of it. There is hope for those lost in this sin and filth though provided first by the Lord: “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,” (Titus 2:11-12 ESV) Other methods of addiction recovery are available from Pastors, counselors, mental health professionals and recovery groups. While this is a terrible issue it needs not to be dealt with alone and though recovery isn‟t easy it is worth the long hard road to healing and righteousness.
Bibliography Awad, Farid. “Pornography Addiction: A Cognitive Approach in Combating the Lies Christian Males Believe.” diss., Liberty University, 2010. In digital commons, http://digitalcommons.liberty.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1423&context=doctoral (accessed May 1, 2013). Bernath, Siegfried. "Pornography's Effects." Daily Townsman, Mar 08, 2004. 12, http://search.proquest.com/docview/356179862?accountid=12085. Bevir, Mark, ed. Encylopedia of Political Theory. Thousand Oaks: SAGE Publications, 2010. http://go.galegroup.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu:2048/ps/i.do?action=interpret&id=GALE|C X1959200368&v=2.1&u=vic_liberty&it=r&p=GVRL&sw=w&authCount=1 (accessed April 29, 2013). Brunet, Robin. "Smut through the Ages." British Columbia Report, Mar 10, 1997. 27, http://search.proquest.com/docview/207180006?accountid=12085. Driscoll, Mark. Porn Again Christian. Seattle: Mars Hill Church, n.d. http://theresurgence.com/books/porn_again_christian (accessed April 27, 2013). Illicit workplace pictures found in half of U.S. enterprises. (2005, Jun 17). TechWeb, , 1-1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/?accountid=12085 Reis, Harry T., and Susan K. Sprecher, eds. Encyclopedia of Human Relationships. 3 vols. Thousand Oaks, Calif.: SAGE Publications, Inc, 2009. Tarver, Mary. "The Effects of Pornography Addiction on Marital Consent." Studia Canonica 44, no. 2 (2010): 343-67, http://search.proquest.com/docview/863135473?accountid=12085. Vernon, Richard, and Mark Bevir. Encyclopedia of Political Theory. 3rd ed. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 2010. http://go.galegroup.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu:2048/ps/i.do?action=interpret&id=GALE|CX1 959200368&v=2.1&u=vic_liberty&it=r&p=GVRL&sw=w&authCount=1 (accessed April 27, 2013). ZILLMANN, DOLF. “Effects of Prolonged Consumption of Pornography On Family Values.” Journal of Family Issues 9, no. 4 (1988 December): 518-44. http://rx9vh3hy4r.search.serialssolutions.com/?ctx_ver=Z39.882004&ctx_enc=info%3Aofi%2Fenc%3AUTF8&rfr_id=info:sid/summon.serialssolutions.com&rft_val_fmt=info:ofi/fmt:kev:mtx:journ al&rft.genre=article&rft.atitle=Effects+of+Prolonged+Consumption+of+Porno Zitzman, ST, and MH Butler. "Wives' experience of husbands' pornography use and concomitant deception as an attachment threat in the adult pair-bond relationship." Sexual Addiction &
Compulsivity 16, no. 3 (July 2009): 210-240. CINAHL Plus with Full Text, EBSCOhost (accessed April 27, 2013).