Post- Spring Weekend magazine 2010

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Spring Weekend Event Schedule:
Wednesday April 21st
CCB’s Mr. and Mrs. Brown 7:30 PM Sayles Hall

Thursday April 22nd
SPEC’s Carnival 5 PM The Main Green

Friday April 23rd
BCA Concert Featuring MGMT, Major Lazer Doors open at 7 PM, show starts at 7:25 PM The Main Green (rain location: Meehan Auditorium) CCB’s Foam Dance Party 11 PM Lincoln Field (if rain, same location April 24th 10 PM)

Saturday April 24th
BCA Concert Featuring: Snoop Dogg, The Black Keys, Wale Doors at 1 PM, show starts at 2 PM The Main Green (rain location: Meehan Auditorium) Greek Council’s Rage on Wriston 9 PM Wriston Quad

Sunday April 25th
Key Society’s Campus Wide Breakfast 10 AM Wriston Quad Greek Council presents Dave Binder 1 PM Wriston Quad

the staff
EDITORS
Marshall Katheder

16 18 12 20

Allison Zimmer Ellen “Scraps” Cushing Matthew Klebanoff Katie Delaney Kate Doyle Fred Milgrim Sam Carter Rachel Lamb Max Godnick Ben Schreckinger Sarah Forman Julia Kantor Anisha Sekar Phil Lai Paul Watanabe Katerina Dalavurak Allison Palm Diana Shifrina

14 14

11

17

LAYOUT EDITORS

contents
Feature. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Artist Guide
12 14 16 18 20 High On Life. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Sex, Drugs & Electronica. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 Practical Tips for Going Dionysian. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Gratuitous Ganja Growling. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Snoop Dogg . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . MGMT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Black Keys. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Major Lazer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

12

Alexandra Linn Madelynn Johnston

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Alex Von Reyen Alessandra Wollner The Hardy Brothers Eric Sun Gopika Krishna Clayton Aldern Alex Logan Ted Lamm

ILLUSTRATIONS
Marina Loeb Ole Tillmann Samuel D’Orazio William Smith Liat Werber

Dude, Food. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Sunny Day Sipping. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

COVER DESIGN
Quinn Fenlon

APRIL 2010 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE 5

EDITOR’S TEN

A few of our favorite things

SPRING WEEKEND: 2 4 6 8

1 3 5 7 9

Tank tops. Trying to tip SafeRide because you think it’s a cab. Making a Post- blunt out of this issue (come burn with us!) Berge watching at the slip & slide. Smuggling booze in your bosom.

Watching tour guides get sacked for walking their groups through Wriston Quad. Tossing together a toga out of your girlfriend’s sheets; apologizing. Edward Andre Hands. Developing Type II diabetes. Mistaking Dave Binder for your Grandpa.

10 Dropping it like it’s hot.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Hey, reader. We need to talk. It’s not that we haven’t had a fantastic run together, you and I. We were a great match. But I can’t help but feel like our relationship is one-sided…don’t look at me like that, dear. This is hard for me too. And, it’s not you at all really. It’s me. What? No! There’s not someone else. No one in particular anyway. Look, do you really want me to be honest? It’s Spring Weekend. Oh, reader! I’m sorry—I just can’t write right now. I know you want me to jot down some quips from the Post- prose trenches. But, for God’s sake, motherf*cking Snoop Dogg is playing this year. And I want it, ok? I want the watery, aluminum taste of cheap beer. I want to burp remnants of smoke. I want to dress like Lady Gaga. The lights! The neon constricting clothes, the thick, hazy air. The guttural throb of the bass rippling in my gut. I want the debauchery, the ruckus, the slick gooseflesh of tank-topped masses. I want to live out every college fantasy implanted in my shrunken gray brain by films from the 80s. Notice our Editor’s Ten. This should be treated as a checklist. Here’s the thing: I don’t want to be tied down. Because it’s this one lonely weekend in April that Brown loosens its tie and lets down an Ivy-coiffure. It is, in every sense of the word, a holiday. It’s so extraordinary because it’s such a departure. So let me get it out of my system. I promise I’ll settle. But I need to shout, to run half naked and glide down Wriston on my belly. Because I’ve got twenty-something angst. And watching Garden State and having a glass of red wine won’t f*cking cut it. So flip through these pages, and pass me a drink. CHEERS,

PS. A special thanks to our RISD illustrators, especially Marina Loeb.

marshall

DISCLAIMER

Our loyal readers know that we at Post- take partying seriously. But on the real, there’s nothing pleasurable about getting EMSed when Snoop is dropping it like it’s hot. Take note that we don’t endorse or suggest the use of any substance, and that the opinions of our contributors belong exclusively to them (and are often lent in jest). So, it’s Spring Weekend. But don’t be stupid—you don’t go to Dartmouth after all. Love,

The Post- Editorial Staff
APRIL 2010 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE 7

Spring Weekend
O
WRITTEN BY

KATE DOYLE

nce a year, it comes around: that weekend of sunshine, music, drink, and drugs that has endured the decades. It is the symbol, the essence, the very epitome of our Brown existence and all it stands for, and the well-deserved break we so desperately need — our time to kick back and live the Bruno life. When Spring Weekend arrives, “There’s this feeling that we’re like suddenly our campus, we are a community again,” says Rob Webber ‘12. “Like during winter it’s not so much, but then suddenly everyone’s feeling why they came to Brown — they’re digging it again.” It is a weekend that brings us together, no doubt, but also one that connects us to a Brown of days

gone by — especially this year, when the weekend’s festivities will mark a milestone: 50 Spring Weekends come and gone. Five decades of changing times, of concerts, parties, and days spent basking in mid-April sun have brought the Brown community together a few glorious days a year, year after year — and the descriptions, through it all, remain surprisingly timeless. “Spring Weekend was quite honestly the first time when all my aspirations for college, everything I ever thought college should be — crazy parties, lots of people meeting each other, tons and tons of alcohol consumed—it all happened,” Webber recalls of his first Spring Weekend, last year. “We just got really, really jazzed. We started drinking at like four in the afternoon, and

then we went to the show. There was a lot of security, but once you get inside it’s like any music festival — there are a lot of people on picnic blankets, smoking weed.” Dated some 40 years earlier, the Spring Weekend recollections of Beverly Hodgson ’70 strike a remarkably similar note. “We wore bell bottoms and halter tops and sandals. The weather was great,” she now recalls. “I remember sprawling on what was then called Pembroke Field listening to a soulful folk duo called Ian and Sylvia. They were famous, but they were one of the lesser acts. College Hill was in bloom, the smell of pot was everywhere, and just when we were sure that James Brown had finally finished and the frenzy was over, he returned in

Bob Dylan; The Coasters

Dionne Warwick; Allen Ginsberg; Dizzy Gillespie; James Brown

1964 1962
Ray Charles

Bonnie Raitt; Billy Preston; Ike and Tina Turner; Blue Oyster Cult

Phil Ochs; Bruce Springsteen

U2

1968 1967
Peter, Paul & Mary

1972 1969
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles; Gordon Lightfoot; Janis Joplin; Lawrence Ferlinghetti

1974 1985
REM; Afrika Bambaataa

1984 1987
Elvis Costello; Dana Carvey

8 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

Springs Eternal
debauchery on the hill goes over the hill
glory to the stage, again and again.” What has changed, perhaps, over the years, is the certain sense of newness and novelty that struck those participating in Spring Weekend in its earliest incarnations. “We believed we were at the center of the universe,” Hodgson recalls, “And that somehow we deserved such extravagant entertainment, and that life would and should go on in that vein, as the world had never seen anything quite like us and we had never had a weekend like that, but should have a future filled with such excess.” In 2010, meanwhile, there’s no question that we look forward to Spring Weekend with equal anticipation, reveling in the festivities with no less enthusiasm than Hodgson and her classmates did in 1970. Harder to say for sure, however, is just what this Brown institution might mean to us now — 50 years removed from its earliest inception, and in a world very different from that of the 1960s. Once upon a time… It was in 1950 that Spring Weekend first replaced the more formal “Junior Week” of years past—a week, and later a weekend, common to Brown and its peer institutions involving dances, sports, readings, religious services, and performances. A June 1905 issue of the Brown Alumni Monthly describes such (rather tame) Junior Week festivities as “a reading of ‘Peg Woffington’ in Sayles Hall,” “a production of ‘Charlie’s Aunt’ in the Providence Opera House,” and various “receptions and teas” held by fraternities. In the years following its arrival on the Brown scene, the new and improved, less traditional and more psychedelic Spring Weekend would evolve into a radically different kind of event — an emblem of a changing world, and of a university whose students were rapidly moving it in a direction markedly different from that of its peer institutions. What Hodgson calls “the wonderful debauch known as Spring Weekend” quickly became the outward mark of a student body ready to shake up the world and, arguably, responsible for the unfolding of the new Brown — one that has been infamously known in all its liberally reputed

KRS-One; Grandmaster Flash; Sonic Youth; Yo La Tengo

1998 1992
Mary-Chapin Carpenter; A Tribe Called Quest; De La Soul

Saves The Day; The Get Up Kids; Rufus Wainwright; Dar Williams; The Roots

Reel Big Fish; Blackalicious; Bela Fleck and the Flecktones; Sleater-Kinney; Jurassic 5

OK Go; Ted Leo + Pharmacists; Wilco; Edan; Yerba Buena; Common M.I.A.; Lupe Fiasco; Girl Talk; Vampire Weekend; Umphrey’s McGee

2002

2004 2005
The Brunettes; Talib Kweli; The Shins; Howie Day; Ben Folds

2006 2007

2008

2001
Violent Femmes; They Might Be Giants; Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals; Jurassic 5

The Flaming Lips; The Roots; Mission of Burma; Yo La Tengo; Soulive

APRIL 2010 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE 9

glory from that point forward. Jean Braucher ’72 notes that Spring Weekend was still “in transition” upon her arrival at Brown in the late 60s, when the weekend still retained vestiges of what she calls “a traditional college weekend, a big beer blowout with fraternities dominant, bringing in their dates from women’s colleges.” But by 1969 — the same year that the implementation of the New Curriculum would serve to solidify Brown’s reputation as a liberal stomping ground — Spring Weekend had reached the height of its hippie-dom, and had fully morphed into a concert-centered structure more similar to what we know it to be today. “The entertainment was astounding,” recalls Hodgson of that year. “James Brown. Janis Joplin… We staggered from venue to venue wondering how such entertainers had been convinced to come to Providence. At least 20 guys claimed to have been invited into Joplin’s trailer for post-concert sex.” Braucher remembers the concert as “Hands down the best rock concert I ever attended. Janis was greedy for adulation, begging for it, and she got it to the max from the Brown crowd. The concert felt like a revival meeting, all of us on our feet waving our arms in the air. Janis had amazing stamina and sang on and on and on as everyone went joyously mad for her.” It was a Spring Weekend to remember, and no matter how freely or gleefully Brown students of the ensuing decades would indulge in this soon-to-be hallowed hippie tradition — handing it down from one generation to the next in the giddy spirit of 1969 — it was a concert that would prove hard to outdo, and a mood that would prove nearly impossible to recreate, especially situated as it was at a very particular historical moment. Braucher recalls the protests that hit campus the very next year, marking a point at which, she says, “Everything 10 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

had changed. I don’t even remember whether there was a Spring Weekend that year.” The present moment… Yet decades later, and now in its 50th incarnation, Spring Weekend goes on. Difficult to recreate, however, has been the rather awe-inspiring artist presence of the likes of Joplin and others that would closely follow her. “Looking back on the lineup, they had such big names back then,” says Danny Garfield ’13. Asked if today’s lineups can compare, he says, “No—not at all,” pointing out that he perceives the concerts to be of far less importance today among the weekend’s many festivities than they once were. And though Brown’s reputation as the liberal university to top all persists in full force, Spring Weekend is no longer an institution unique to us. “My friends at other colleges, they all seem to have some variant of this. I never thought of it as a Brown institution,” says Ben Jones ’13. Garfield similarly feels Spring Weekend to be “more of an embodiment of college” than of any Brown-specific experience. Jen Therrien ’11, who transferred to Brown from Bowdoin College last spring, says that her experience with the smaller school’s Spring Weekend equivalent, Ivies, was actually preferable to Brown’s. “They don’t limit Spring Weekend to whoever buys tickets. It’s open, you can come and go as you please, there’s no alcohol prohibition,” she says. “You sit, and everybody’s out there” — not just those who’ve paid. Such shifting factors combine to make Spring Weekend a romp no less delightful, but certainly one whose role is a little more difficult to peg in a very different day and age from when it made its first appearance in its present form 50 years ago. Spring Weekend may be the symbol of Brown’s unbeatable laid-back outlook and open-mindedness, but 50 years out, it may not be as radically cutting-edge

as it was once upon a time. As a 21st century Brunonia struggles to define itself 50 years removed from the turbulent decade that so dramatically changed it, we have to wonder—does a historical moment 50 years removed still accurately define our present? What Spring Weekend does certainly stand for is the sense of community on which Brown has rightfully prided itself these 50 years. “I do believe the experience of listening to music and dancing and consuming substances does create a community vibe,” says Webber. “I kind of think it’s that faith that makes Spring Weekend so cool.” Times change, but it’s this sense of connection to one another, perhaps, that makes Spring Weekend so enduring. “Everyone will be there, everyone will be having a great time,” says Jones. “It’s the whole campus having fun as a unit which I think is another big Brown thing—we don’t have divides between students as much as I think other campuses might.” He says, “I think that’s just the vibe of Brown, is that we’re enough of a solid community that we can do this big thing all together, and it works.” So while it may be the big 50th, this Spring Weekend, like those that have come before it, will certainly serve one end that it always has: to bring us busy Brunonians together for some good laid-back Brown fun. And as Jones, a freshman, looks forward to his first Spring Weekend as a “weekend we can just take off, and have this wild, debaucherous thing,” so Hodgson remembers her own “wonderful debauch known as Spring Weekend” some 40 years ago. Half a century of Spring Weekends, and a healthy appreciation for debauchery to tie it all together. Now if that’s not quintessential Brown, what is?

Spring Weekend: Artist Profiles

12 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

ARTIST GUIDE

WRITTEN BY CLAYTON ALDERN

noop Dogg’s voice is dark butter: a silky and sinister Nutella spread over the brain of the beholder. It is immediately recognizable, hitting impossibly hard for being so smooth. What British music journalist Peter Shapiro called a “molasses drawl” has dribbled its sticky ickyladen timbre all over popular culture, lending us everything from the modern lexical addition of “Drop It Like It’s Hot” to Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood, a reality show on E! that follows his family life. Now, Tha Doggfather himself — and his dripping voice — are rolling up College Hizzle to perform for our everskeptical ears. When Snoop first appeared on the rap scene, it was under the wing of soon-to-be megaproducer Dr. Dre. In what would establish him as one of Dre’s finest protégés, Snoop boasted upwards of 10 sets on 1992’s The Chronic, including the early West Coast anthem “Nuthin’ But a ‘G’ Thang.” These were the glory days of gangsta rap; The Chronic legitimized the raw sound that N.W.A. had hurled onto the scene in 1989. However, the California wave that was D.R.E. was just the beginning: It was with his solo debut Doggystyle that Snoop proved he was a force to be reckoned with. According to Calvin “Snoop Dogg” Broadus himself, his life is “kinda tight.” Doggystyle (which warrants a plethora of unrelated Google hits) went quadruple platinum, delivering such gangsta rap staples as “Gin and Juice,” “Lodi Dodi,” “Who Am I (What’s My Name?),” and “Gz and Hustlas.” If you have ever heard or used the suffix “-izzle,” you have experienced firsthand Snoop’s sphere of influence on modern English vocab (al-

S

ILLUSTRATED BY WILLIAM SMITH HEADLINE BY LIAT WERBER

though contrary to popular belief, he merely popularized the term, which had been in circulation since the 70s). There are his 10 solo studio albums, most recently MTV’s massive global-advertising stunt Malice N Wonderland. There are the reality TV shows, the various acting cameos (oh hai, Starsky and Hutch!), and the clothing lines. The Snoop Dogg Skullcandy headphones. The iPhone app. The celebrity Tom Tom voice (“Turn left nizzow, bitch”). And why not—the

“...there is still real shit out there in these streets. ”
world has been eating up his shizzle for nearly 20 years. But that’s the thing with Snoop Dogg. He is a laid back king on his throne — just as comfortable on a current-day icecold Diplo electro beat as on a mid-90s minimalist Dre track — and he has managed to endure, evolving at his preferred snail pace, even in the face of the blazing rate at which the hip-hop beat market blisters along. A certain buoyancy applies to his voice and lyrics that permits the rapper to float his verses wherever and whenever he pleases. And Snoop is still pumping out jams, writing back to his roots. On his web site he writes: “No matter how many times I’ve been around the world or how many awards shows I’ve been on, there is still real sh*t out there in these streets. And if you don’t keep one eye on it, those dogs will jump up and try to bite your ass.” This is the “malice” that Malice N Wonderland hints at: the ever-menacing truth behind gang and gangsta life in the cities of South Central Los Angeles County.

He’s not a fakesta, either. Snoop was a Crip member in high school. He has done his fair share of jail time; and yes, he actually has been a pimp… which leaves us with another soulless millionaire musician capitalizing on the Grand Theft Auto generation. Enter the Snoop Youth Football League. Culminating in the aptly named Snooper Bowl, the SYFL currently enrolls over 3,500 participants ages 5-13 from those same LA communities in which he came of age: Compton, Long Beach, Pomona. Not only does Snoop play a role in the organization of the league, but he actually coaches a Pee Wee team. Not bad for a man who, for a number of years, was not allowed to enter the United Kingdom. Under the violent and misogynistic persona, maybe there is half of a heart. After all, he is married with a daughter and two sons. Perhaps Snoop Dogg is simply enigmatic. Call his music chauvinistic. Call it trashy and derogatory gangstafluff. Some of it might be. Some of it is also excellent, honest, and historically relevant. The fact remains that Snoop Dogg is and has been wildly successful, and his contributions to popular and hiphop culture are undeniable. Maybe you will appreciate his performance for the novelty. Maybe you’re a diehard Snoop fan. Hell, maybe after that many blunts, anything sounds good. But rest assured: Snoop Doggy Dogg is here to stay. He is the reason for your excessive use of “-izzle”, the grounds on which our campus’ neighbors will complain this year about bass shattering their windows and teacups, and the explanation for why you feel just a touch more gangsta sippin’ on gin and juice. APRIL 2010 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE 13

ARTIST GUIDE

ERIC SUN WILLIAM SMITH HEADLINE BY LIAT WERBER
WRITTEN BY ILLUSTRATED BY

f, by now, you cannot recognize the ten signature notes of MGMT’s “Kids,” you either have a terrible memory or have not been in a dormitory or near a social gathering of young adults in the past year. MGMT has dominated the indie and pop music scenes recently and has become the flag-bearer of hipster youth culture. With their wildly popular 2008 debut Oracular Spectacular, which featured fiercely catchy melodies, psychedelic chords and fistfuls of irony for good measure, MGMT branded themselves as the band of jaded, wandering, tripped-out youth everywhere. It’s been impossible to avoid hearing “Time to Pretend” in practically any production aimed at young people, whether in the fittingly strange Tim Burton adaptation of Alice in Wonderland or the more mainstream teenage melodrama Gossip Girl. That’s not to mention the countless dance parties (spontaneous or otherwise) blasting “Kids,” “Electric Feel,” or one of their many remixes (one of which won a Grammy). For an explanation of their sudden and ubiquitous popularity, simply examine the Oracular Spectacular opener “Time to Pretend.” It features all the hallmarks that made the band irresistible to anyone under the age of 25: boldfaced sarcasm, reckless fantasy, and a simple but brilliant melody. Over blaring synths, lead vocalist Andrew VanWyngarden sings, “Let’s make some music, make some money, find some models for wives,” continuing with a scathing satire replete with drugs and fancy cars. While these three songs soared in popularity, even their lesser-known tracks showcase strong songwriting, from the foot-stomping march of “The Handshake” to the dysfunctional funk in “Of Moons, Birds, & Monsters.” When you take all of these factors into account,

I

for 15 “ We would just play loudthe floor.” minutes and then fall on
during their freshman year at Wesleyan University (read: a farther-left, whinier Brown) under the name “The Management.” (Fortunately, they were later forced to change it to the much more compact and catchy MGMT when they discovered another band was already using that name.) “It was a mutual drive to be annoying… It was about being freshmen in college and being excited about everything—having lots of energy and doing drugs… We would just play loud for 15 minutes and then fall on the floor,” VanWyngarden said, according to 2008 article in the Boston Globe. They eventually grew from vapid, obnoxious punks to more serious songwriters, experimenting with different genres and incorporating backing musicians into their shows. When they graduated in 2005, they released the EP Time to Pretend, on the tiny Cantora Records. Buzz gathered about the disc, especially the title track, and they signed with the much larger Columbia a year later. They enlisted producer Dave Fridmann, who had worked with The Flaming Lips, to assist them with Oracular Spectacular, and after a quick rise to fame that included opening for Of Montreal on tour, the headliners of Spring Weekend 2009,

it’s no wonder they were the most requested band in the BCA poll earlier this year — they are practically tailored to the hipster-leaning population that responded, with plenty of broader appeal in their simply irresistible melodies. Despite their spectacular success, the origins of MGMT did not hint at their eventual Grammy-winning stardom. The duo of Ben Goldwasser and VanWyngarden began tentatively in 2002

the rest is history. Their story doesn’t end there. They just released their second album, Congratulations, on April 13 to a whirlwind of controversy and debate. The thing is: the MGMT of Congratulations is almost unrecognizable from the MGMT of Oracular Spectacular. In response to their meteoric rise, MGMT experienced some whiplash, getting ticked off at the public’s obsession with their hits rather than paying attention to the album as a whole, and in response they vowed to create a “no singles album.” They accomplish that goal handily, eschewing dance floor-fillers in favor of more complicated, artsy songs. The result is a completely revamped sound that will take some getting used to—but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Standout “Someone’s Missing” begins quietly but builds and bursts into a joyous, hooky celebration. “Flash Delirium” retains the vestiges of a dance beat, although it is packed with enough compositional detours that it’s hard to do more than a little head-bobbing or toe-tapping before the song shifts on you. But when they slow things down, as on the title track and on “I Found a Whistle,” they mostly come out on top, producing excellent, cell phone-waving ballads. Ultimately, MGMT’s new album signals that we’ll be in for a few surprises Friday night. Those expecting a blitzedout, nonstop rager may get tripped up by the epic 12-minute-long “Siberian Breaks” and get some deeper, existentialist moments tossed in with their moshing. But whether or not you’re a fan of their new sound, don’t miss out on your chance to see a generationdefining band in what’s inevitably going to be a psychedelic, energy-packed trip.

14 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

APRIL 2010 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE 15

ARTIST GUIDE

WRITTEN BY

GOPIKA KRISHNA WILLIAM SMITH HEADLINE BY MARINA LOEB
ILLUSTRATED BY

he Black Keys are probably the most ubiquitous band that people have never heard of. Composed of guitarist Dan Auerbach and drummer Patrick Carney, this blues-rock duo has spent most of the past decade winning praise from critics and musical royalty alike (Radiohead and Metallica, anyone?) while their songs have been featured on commercials and television shows. Still, it’s surprising, and slightly alarming, that so many Brownies are unaware of “that band that isn’t Snoop Dogg.” All you non-believers are probably wondering what it is about The Black Keys that gets rock ‘n’ roll hearts all a-flutter? It could be their hard-hitting alternative bluesy-ness, a sound that not only harkens back to great artists of yesteryear but is also fresh and innovative. So what exactly does alternative blues sound like? Imagine this: take the powerful guitar riffs of Jimi Hendrix, mix in a bit of James Brown-era soul and funk, and add the kind of mature yet longing vocals that give Jack White a run for his

T

“

money. What you end up with is a band that even Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant says he wants to be a part of. The thing that separates The Black Keys from most other blues-rock bands circa the turn of the millennium is their lo-fi recording system. Starting with their 2002 debut, The Big Come Up, the band made their albums hunkered down in a basement or abandoned rubber factory

We can make things sound big and fucked up at the same time
in the Midwest, doing all the mixing and producing themselves, and oftentimes even recording and keeping background noises. This technique fits in perfectly with the duo’s equally low-key history; they both grew up in Akron, Ohio, and have been jamming together since high school. It wasn’t until 2008’s Attack and Release that The Black Keys finally

decided to use “proper” studio space. Produced by Danger Mouse of Gnarls Barkley fame, the album revealed the band’s newfound love for experimentation, featuring extra instrumentals and an overall bigger sound. In keeping with this experimental streak, the Keys released a hip-hop collaboration album in 2009. Called Blakroc, it features duets with Mos Def and members of Wu-Tang Clan, and its success warrants a follow-up (and maybe even, fingers-crossed, a possible Spring Weekend collaboration with a certain West Coast rapper?!?). Until then, their newest studio-produced album, Brothers, will be released in May. Despite all of the new directions in which The Black Keys may be going with their music, one quality remains the same: their uncanny ability to make a two-person group sound like a veritable yet intimate rock army. This duo is more than capable of filling up giant spaces, and hopefully the Main Green, with incredible tunes that, according to drummer Carney, “sound big and fucked up at the same time.”

”

APRIL 2010 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE 17

ARTIST GUIDE

WRITTEN BY KATIE DELANEY ILLUSTRATED BY WILLIAM SMITH HEADLINE BY

o the Spring Weekend lineup is announced, and you start doing your homework: download a Black Keys album, maybe Mojo the new MGMT and make a concerted effort to know at least one Snoop song that’s not “Drop It Like It’s Hot.” Then you get to Major Lazer and you quickly realize that the things you know about Major Lazer are: 1) That The Herald described them as ““British DJs Diplo and Switch”” (which is only half true—Diplo is actually a full-blooded American male, born in Misissippi and living in the Illadel), 2) That their video for “Pon de Floor” is a tutu-wearing, ladder-jumping, acrobatic, dry-humping extravaganza (technical term for this dance move: daggering), and 3) That the hand-drawn album art is friggin’ sweet. And that’s about it. Taking stock, you have: collaborating DJs, a video with content deemed “inappropriate” by YouTube, and … cartoons. You figure it’’ll be an MGMT warm-up set that’s sample-heavy, electro/house, equal parts Girl Talk and M.I.A. And you call it a day. And that’s where you would be (mostly) wrong. Because Guns Don’t Kill People… Lazers Do isn’t your average house record. And the boys behind Major Lazer aren’t your average DJs. For starters, let’s clarify: the name Major Lazer refers to neither Diplo 18 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

S

MARINA LOEB

“ Digital reggae and dancehall from Mars! In the future! ”
original fighting in the secret zombie war of 1984. No Big. In his latest crusade against the forces of evil, Major Lazer has turned to the dance floor, hoping to slay vampires and zombies with killer tracks and dank beats. (For clarification on how this actually works, watch the ““Keep it Goin’’ Louder”” video—the version with dancing zombies, not the one with the disfigured motorcyclists that look like they were taken off the set of Spy Kids.) The guerilla vampire slayer enlisted Diplo and Switch to help with this endeavor, commissioning them to create Guns Don’t Kill People…Lazers Do. Major Lazer, apparently, knows his stuff — the two are impressive enough as individual DJ’s (each with a record label, original albums, and reams of remixes). But they’re virtually unstoppable as a pair of producers; their work reads like a

(Wesley Pentz) nor Switch (Londoner Dave Taylor). According to these two, Major Lazer’s true identity is the beret-wearing fictional badass featured on the album cover—the guy with biceps the size of his torso, a bandolier stocked with mics strapped to his chest, a rocket-powered skateboard and, oh yeah, one prosthetic arm that now shoots laser beams. He lost the

list of recent Spring Weekend headliners, with credits on M.I.A.’s Arular, Kala, and Santigold’’s self-titled debut. And you might have heard of a little gem they produced a few years back called “Paper Planes.” This dual identity lies at the center of the key to Guns Don’t Kill People. Diplo and Switch each contribute from their respective backgrounds, lending the album a whole host of global influences: friends and fellow-Philadelphians Santigold and Amanda Blank on “Hold the line” and “What U Like,” respectively; spaghetti western guitars ripped right from an Ennio Morricone classic on the opener. Andy Milonakis even impersonates an auto-tuned zombie in another one of their tracks. But the disc’s heart is in the zombie-killing, party-hardy Jamaican commando, and it’s the island dancehall syncopation in crossover hits “Keep It Goin’ Louder” and “Pon de Floor” that will make this year’s Main Green dance party more than your standard, schizophrenic sampler -induced Main Green dance party. Between the toasting, ragga, dubstep bass drops, and a guest line-up of some serious local heavy-hitters (Ms. Thing, Mr. Vegas, and Jovi Rockwell), this album makes it very clear that it was recorded in Jamaica, and proud of it. Or, because Diplo always says it best: Major Lazer is “digital reggae and dancehall from Mars! In the future!”

APRIL 2010 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE 19

ARTIST GUIDE

WRITTEN BY SAM CARTER ILLUSTRATED BY

WILLIAM SMITH

o avoid embarrassment, know that the name is not pronounced like a certain Pixar feature or aquatic mammal. It’s Wah-LAY. Nigerian roots are responsible for the adopted name of the D.C. rapper born Olubowale Victor Akintimehin who—drawing inspiration from sources as varied as Seinfeld (The Mixtape About Nothing), multinational companies (“Nike Boots”) and local musical flavor (go-go)—continues to gain popularity and critical praise in an ever-burgeoning and increasingly diverse hip-hop community. If you were to say that hip-hop is now at a post-Lil Wayne and postKanye point, you might see Wale as a contender for the spot as the next star simply because he can be described as falling somewhere between the two. Collaborating with a variety of artists— including K’naan, Bun B, and others on his debut album—Wale synthesizes diverse hip-hop influences while simultaneously gaining visibility, and the more he works with others, the more he begins to clearly define his style. The man perhaps most responsible for Wale’s rise to fame is Mark Ronson, the producer/co-founder of Allido Records. Ronson discovered Wale in 2006, recruited him to his label, and had him appear on a remix of Lily Allen’s “Smile.” After releasing a few mix tapes and beginning to appear in the media, Wale was signed to the larger

T

“

Interscope Records in 2008. Attention Deficit, his major-label debut album, was released in November of 2009. At first listen, the album, filled with carefully constructed hooks and sophisticated production, seems far removed from the mixtapes that brought

Sorry hip-hop it took me so long to get on but so long that I’m on it, it’s on.
him national attention. The rhymes might not be as bold, confident, and biting as those of a young artist trying to make a name for himself, while the slick production creates a vocal complement entirely distinct from the raw strength of an underground mixtape. Closer listening, however, reveals evident continuity—in the delivery of lines, go-go influence and frequent references to D.C.—from the early work to the later. Wale didn’t entirely sell out when he moved to Interscope. While the album’s lead single, “Chillin’,” featuring Lady Gaga, might be far from his best work, Wale puts out a strong debut effort. Since he already received a great deal of press and exposure from his mixtapes, his “debut” album has been held to somewhat high expectations. But Wale seems to think it’s his true debut; on “Mama Told Me” he raps: “Sorry hip-hop it took me so long to get on but so long that I’m on

it, it’s on.” Tracks like “TV in the Radio” and “Contemplate” showcase Wale’s ability to fit into a variety of environments. The former, produced by TV on the Radio member Dave Sitek, features Wale and K’naan trading verses over a brassy hook and a driving percussion section, and the latter finds Wale slipping verses in between a sample from Rihanna’s “Question Existing.” Go-go music, an offshoot of funk unique to the D.C. area, makes an appearance on “Mirrors,” where Wale deftly plays with the idea of the mirror on the wall. “Pretty Girls” has performances from Gucci Mane and Weensey, both members of the go-go act Backyard Band. Characterized by a syncopated rhythm and the prominence of the conga, the style has achieved little success outside the capital area, but other hip-hop artists, including Run DMC and Jay-Z, have sampled go-go tracks. Like the metro trains around the periphery of the capital area where Wale has spent a good deal of his life, the D.C. rapper has rapidly emerged from the underground in his quest for a wider audience. Rather than breaking onto the scene with an entirely unique sound, it seems Wale will continue to evolve and grow into a style all his own, which could easily carry him to the next level of stardom.

”

20 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

APRIL 2010 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE 21

FEATURETTE

High on Life

FRED MILGRIM ILLUSTRATED BY OLE TILLMANN
WRITTEN BY

how to do spring weekend sober
Weekend? Whatever you’re imagining, get your mind out of the gutter. We don’t hit on helplessly drunk freshmen. In the good words of Asher Roth, “Don’t have sex if she’s too gone.” But seriously, it’s just embarrassing (when I’m sober). Dealing with plastered damsels becomes downright degrading when my spicy-with comes sans drunchies. The following is dedicated to all the RPLs doing rounds at 3 a.m. this Saturday, told they’re not allowed to drink. It’s for the athletes with 72-hour rules and dry seasons. It’s for those who won’t have sex ‘til they’re married. What to do, what to do… Go to the concerts! You’ll have to stand in a haze of sweet, skunky ganja, which might potentially get you a contact high, but hey, it’s Snoop—it comes with the territory. You’ll probably be the only one appreciating the music anyway. Go wild at the Dave Binder concert, because there’s no better time to pretend you’re still a (5-year-old) kid. Hundreds of plastered co-eds aren’t much more mature. Why do you think everyone loves him so much? Check out the foam dance—but, I implore you, drunk or sober, do not go in. Looking is free, but believe me, touching is going to cost you. Who knows what floats around in there? The Wriston quad slip ‘n’ slide was, without a doubt, one of the highlights of my spring weekend last year. Take off your shirt! Don’t be afraid to get some detergent in your eyes and some mud in your shorts. And if you’re like a guy on my team, slide down headfirst in your cheetah print man-thong. Thursday afternoon (when at least some students haven’t yet begun their death defying binge) brings the SPEC carnival. Anything SPEC-related tends to involve lots of free treats and sweets. The carnival brings much more, including a mechanical bull. There are a couple of other ways to curb the disappointment of not joining this weekend-long tribute to SSDP. Point, laugh at and mock any and everyone you see making an ass of themselves (and possibly consider calling EMS). Having a significant other is another way to make the weekend less depressing. Apologies to those who don’t, but there are still a few days before it all ends. Most of all though, don’t let your lack of liquor ingestion discourage you from gettin’ your groove on. Having spent nearly two spring semesters in sobriety, I know as well as anyone that dancing like an absolute fool is even more fun when you’re not drunk. The beauty is, you know everyone else is drunk, so you can be just as confident as when you’re completely sauced. Get sweaty and shrug it off, because, dammit, you just wanna dance!

I recall a party I attended my first semester at Brown. It was an upperclassman party, actually, and I had been invited by a mutual friend visiting for the weekend. When someone brought up the topic of Spring Weekend, a junior member of a certain fraternity slung his arm over my shoulder. This is what he told me: “Fred, remember this. Spring Weekend is like nothing you can imagine. Picture that girl you met this year, about whom you thought, ‘She’s way too innocent, she’ll never put out.’ On Spring Weekend, she’ll put out. Everyone gets off-their-assshmammered, and sucks face. Everyone gets laid on Spring Weekend.’” Okay, I might be embellishing a bit, but what he said left me both appalled and anticipating some Hardy-esque debauchery. So this is the college experience about which I had been warned. This is why total strangers offered me the following advice after my high school graduation: “One, go to class, and two, don’t get anyone pregnant.” Spring Weekend is when even the goodiest gumdrops cast their coital nets. And no one goes to class. Yes! Then I found out that I would never be able to participate in Brown’s raunchiest weekend (sex + music > sex + power + God). Because of my athletic commitments, I imbibed my last drop of the forbidden fluid on March 1 at 12:00 a.m. It was like that freshman year, and it will be that way every spring for the remainder of my time here. No Jägerbombs until school’s out. I have to admit, it’s strange to walk through a crowd of zombies knowing you’re the only coherent being aside from the people working the Domino’s pizza booth. Many have said that booze isn’t necessary to have fun, but it certainly feels obligatory on Spring Weekend. So what is it like, you ask? What does a sober person do on Spring 22 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

SEX

Sex,
WRITTEN BY ALLIE WOLLNER ILLUSTRATED BY MARINA LOEB

Drugs

&

Spring Weekend. Sex, drugs and …electronica. Because who are we kidding? It’s Brown. This weekend of weekends lends itself to experimentation with exotic substances. This weekend is the time to keep company with girls a little more glamorous that the ones with whom you usually party. Sorry, Franzia, Svedka and Stella Artois; we’re busy. This weekend, we’re going to kick it with Mary Jane, The White Lady and Molly. They didn’t group sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll together for nothing. As soon as you combine drugs and music, you end up with desire. And most people, in their drug-addled, turnedon states, operate under the assumption that getting a blowjob, enhanced by the consumption of a drug, will also blow your mind. So, as we gear up for another debaucherous Spring Weekend, the question is this: how should we frame the correlation between our experimentations with substances and our explorations ofsex? Safety concerns aside, is sex on drugs all it’s cracked out — I mean cracked up — to be? I was curious about this question because it’s one I can’t answer firsthand. Whenever I get high, I choose Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra over The Kama Sutra. Then I fall asleep. And the two times I did MDMA (ecstasy, for those not in the know), I was too enchanted by the texture of my cashmere sweater to consider taking any

clothes off. That’s right; I’ve never had sex on drugs. Because I can’t speak from personal experience, I deferred to my sexual advisory panel. Sex on drugs. Sex and drugs. Good idea? Bad idea? Worth it? The first panel member to respond to my query is the one I consider to be the most adventurous and seasoned drug user. She said: “I love having sexual experiences on drugs. I think it’s a fun way to spice things up. Stoned sex is GREAT. My body just responds differently with the addition of drugs; different things make me come. Sex on Molly, E or Maggie is also fun, although sex isn’t even necessary — just touching is enough. As I think about my various rolling experiences, the sex isn’t what stands out. Drugs (alcohol included) provide a nice way to release inhibitions. I’ve definitely made sexual “breakthroughs” I couldn’t have made if I’d been sober. And kind of kinky, rough, coke sex has also been fun. But when I think of the best sex I’ve had, it isn’t the super druggy sex that I think of.” The second panelist to respond is the most sexually adventurous. Her comments were just a few syllables shy of a haiku: “You get too dry. Painful. Then again, I’m too high to realize.” The third to respond is my point

24 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

Electron
person for all drug-related inquiries. Because Molly is a popular girl to hang out with during Spring Weekend, I asked this panelist about sex and MDMA specifically. Does having sex or sexual experiences on this drug really wreck your capacity for sexual pleasure ever after? “Well, at least for men, it’s total fiction. Especially because it’s not always easy to get hard while on MDMA. But more to the point, sex on MDMA can be, well, weird—the weirdness of being seriously high and trying to fit the parts together. It’s certainly not as mindblowing as one might believe, and I’ve never met anyone who had experienced better sex on MDMA than when they were sober.” Then I asked if there was a difference between sex on MDMA and sex on E. He said: “Theoretically, if what you got was pure, there’s no difference. If what you got was speed, who knows? Maybe you just f*ck really fast.” In mulling over the responses from my various panelists, I came up with a few thoughts of my own. MDMA*, although it does amplify one’s capacity for empathy, is also an incredibly selfish drug because of what it does to your embodied experience. In fact, all drugs are selfish. They alter your physiology so dramatically that it actually prevents you from truly engaging with someone else’s body in any profound way. Sexual interaction involves an awareness of

ica

your partner’s body. Your high self has no interest in paying attention to this; it’s more than enough to keep track of the new sensations occurring in your own body. All of this is not to say that you shouldn’t have sex while high. By all means, have crazed drug sex this Spring Weekend. As my first panelist mentioned, there are sensations to be enhanced and sexual breakthroughs to be had. But from what I’m hearing and have experienced myself, drugs don’t necessarily produce The Greatest Sex Ever…but nor do they seem to ruin sex. Then what does that mean? As far as I can tell, it means that drugs are fun enough on their own, in and of themselves. So, if the opportunity for sexual interaction presents itself while you’re rolling hard at MGMT or blazed out of your mind at Snoop Dogg, if you use it as an opportunity to get Pon De Floor or shock someone like an electric eel you’ll be fine. Just keep in mind that you might be a little too distracted by the things going on in your own body to fully appreciate the way you’re interacting with someone else’s.
*I want to take the opportunity to encourage anyone planning on taking MDMA this weekend to take advantage of SSDP’s free Ecstasy testing program. Email brownharmreduction@ gmail.com, set up a time to borrow a testing kit, and receive instructions about proper use. It’s a completely confidential, completely legal and completely smart precaution to take.

APRIL 2010 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE 25

SEX

Practical Tips for Going Dionysian Over Spring Weekend
WRITTEN BY

This week in The Hardy Brothers: Special Edition, we bring you a menu of sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll and other delightful things to guide, inspire and, of course, help you plan your Spring Weekend meals (just like The Joy of Cooking, only with controlled substances, music and f*cking in place of food). This weekend and this weekend only, when in doubt, take the blue pill. Say yes instead of no. Tip your drink all the way back, and be sure to swallow:

FRANK and JOE HARDY, Esq.’s

…because the only thing better than a Friday afternoon is a drunk!! Friday afternoon...
Gin & Tonic….the summertime classic, good for outdoor sipping. Spliff….also known as pot, weed, herb, ganja, trees et al, it can be served in joint form, blunt form, pipe form, etc. The spliff is perfect for an afternoon of main green grazing. The taste of a cigarette + the effects of wacky tobaccy = hooray for boobies! Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka & Anything…. the Prov Town “high season” classic. Trashier than the old-time G&T to be sure, but kinder, gentler, and sweeter too. Best for a hot day. Coke & Wet….even though Spank Rock and his crew won’t be gracing us this weekend as performers (but as guests, who knows?), you can still get down like him before the show on Friday (hell, you can do it while listening to the eponymous song too!). Just make sure you don’t get too f*cked up to go to the show, though. Sometimes Spank struggles with that. Dark & Stormy….lighter than its ominous name suggests, this refreshing, gingery, limey rum concoction is great for when the electro starts playing and things get intense. Also good in case of rain.

Aperitifs

(stage right) or the hockey rinks’ bleachers and shock them with your “electric feel.” Snoop Dogg….as native West-coasters, we Hardy brothers are partial to the velvety sounds of Snoop’s voice riding a g-funk beat. It makes us want to drop it like it’s hot. We hear that Snoop is still making adult entertainment videos, so be careful, otherwise you might end up in Snoop’s Bio-Med Bunnies Pt. 7. Binder….Dave sings happy songs about peace and love, but if we know Wristonites like we think we do, Sunday is going to be about a different kind of catharsis. Steal some steak and lobster from Sigma Chi, and grab one of the near-nude masses. Play in the grass or in one of the surrounding rooms. Either way, it’s guaranteed to be Sunday Funday.

…combine your entree with…

Garnitures

…menu designed by BCA. no substitutions please…
MGMT….mystical, ethereal, but also hard and pounding—the sounds of MGMT are the perfect grooves to light your fire. Pull your lover into the anthropology building

Entrees

Alcohol!...the common Brunonian’s means of heightening bodily pleasures. There’s little wonder why so many people joined the Facebook group “I hate everything except being drunk and f*cking.” In fact, I’m drunk right now. No, really. I am. And hopefully about to fuck. Marijuana!... get like the Na’vi and rally around the tree of life. Smoking pot makes everything better. Just ask Snoop Dogg, who is reported to smoke between 10 and 100 joints per day. Amphetamines….if you’ve already put away a Coke & Wet or two earlier, never fear. Like my large, in charge and livin’ large grandmother used to say, coke goes with …for coming down after the party coke goes with coke (this was before the (and after the after-party)… assisted living facility started regulating her ‘Shrooms of the Day (Chef’s Selection) meds more tightly). Or any other uppers, for Cheese Plate that matter; they go together magically, like a Space Cakes pair of socks. We’d pair this portable, discreet Tiramisu side (by which we mean you avoid lighting Opiate Tasting Flute (x3)….Vicodin, up in front of plainclothes D.P.S. officers) with Friday night and Major Lazer. When the OxyContin, heroin.1 1 Note: Make sure you don’t have anywhere totally insane tribal strains of “Pon De Floor” start shattering the campus’s 200-year-old to be (or drive) for a while before preparing and/ architecture, you’re gonna want a little up- or serving to guests.

pity confidence to shake your ass accordingly, and then later in Slater or Littlefield. Just make sure your increased stamina makes you stronger but doesn’t kill you, you hear? Ecstasy….are you the happiest student in the country? If so, why not blow your lid off with that other little white powder? While you’ll certainly be able to get down with the stuff on either Friday’s night of electro-stars or the hip-hop Gothic blues rock variety show on Saturday, some people find that almost child-like euphoria and a desire to touch interesting fabrics, even skin, does not necessarily translate into a night of Hardiness if you know what we mean. If you’ve got a date, or a prospect, or someone you want to scramble (or be scrambled by) during the senior bingeeverything festival known as Spring, take it on Saturday in the late morning/early afternoon; after some quiet time and a little help from your friends, you’ll be ready for the raging Saturday night guaranteed to be going down. Acid….possibly the best way to experience/understand Major Lazer, if, like explorer Ernest Shackleton, you like your adventures to be extremely challenging, occasionally Antarctic and possibly fatal. Not recommended for the uninitiated or faint of heart. All those speakers and all those people and all those shadows and glow lights of Friday night’s concert will make for either a really awesome or a really terrifying journey. Not to be combined with sex interests (when reality is melting, somehow sex isn’t really on your mind), it is a great way to bond with an old lover, hookup or whatever, since when you’re on acid, the only people you can trust are your fellow adventurers.

Desserts

26 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

Gratuitous Ganja Growling
WRITTEN BY PHANTOM PLANET & MARY JANE ILLUSTRATED BY SAMUEL D’ORAZIO

FOOD & BOOZE

marijuana & the munchies

Flick. The tiny flame crackles, devouring the packed leafy bundle of green. As the smoke lazily billows out of my nostrils, the warmth rolls down my spine. And then, there’s the unmistakable, stabbing, slobbering response: I so need something to munch on. Oh, the gratuitous ganja growling, only intensified over Spring Weekend. My reddish eyes grow wide (or, as wide as they can) and my jaw slinks slack at the mere mention of Nice Slice; drool runs down my chin and pools in my stubble. It’s not really that the licking flames of hunger have been stoked—it’s just that food tastes so f*cking good. But, why? Basically, your body already produces endocannabanoids, which are hormones that regulate your appetite and latch on to specialized proteins called cannabanoid receptors in your hypothalamus. But THC—the crystally-purple compound that both gives ganj its sparkle and will make you sit on a beanbag chair and contemplate the meaning of Honey-Nut Cheerios for the better part of an hour—also activates cannabanoid receptors. This essentially replicates the I’mhungry signal and tells your brain that you must have an entire cheesecake in one sitting. And what’s more, in 2009, Japanese scientists found that substances like weed may also act directly on taste buds, stimulating the desire for sweet foods especially. So what does this mean for your Spring Weekend? Maybe pack a stash of Skittles along with your flask. A smacking, stuck-inyour teeth sweet selection. Taste the rainbow. APRIL 2010 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE 27

FOOD & BOOZE

Dude, food.
TED LAMM AND ALEX LOGAN

WRITTEN BY

“

I love rumors! Facts can be so misleading, where rumors, true or false, are often revealing.

-Colonel Hans Landa

”

As we write this it’s still too early to trust the forecast, but it does look like it will be a nicely sunny weekend. With cooperative weather, you’re pretty much guaranteed a fun Spring Weekend — even if you don’t have tickets to the concerts and spend your time getting tipsy in (on?) the sunshine and shopping for goofy sunglasses. Still, in order to help you get the most revel out of your revelry, here are a few tips regarding Spring Weekend food and drink (and other stuff): Behold, the free refill: The Bookstore Cafe offers refills on coffee or tea for 50 cents, while the upper-Thayer Bluestate (i.e. the one you go to if you actually want to get a little work done) will restock your cup for free! This well-kept secret will serve you well at 10:30 a.m. Saturday when one iced coffee simply won’t do. We recommend buying one, chugging it on the spot, and enjoying your refill on Pembroke or Lincoln until whoever decided to make popcorn inside your head stops. The Iced Coffee Rundown: Speaking of iced coffee, here are the proper choices, depending on the Spring Weekend state of mind/ being in which you find yourself. Any time before 9 a.m., with any kind of hangover, or with any sort of hunger: Bagel Gourmet. At 11 a.m., trudging to class while your friends have a shamelessly good time: Starbucks, because you’re going to be miserable anyway. Their iced coffee tastes like sweat, necesitating the purchase of espresso (tragically, inevitably, setting you back $7). It’s 3 p.m. and your “buzz” is going to die off much more quickly than you’d hoped: Blue State. Under no circumstances: Au Bon Pain. Places to visit: Lincoln Field is nice, if a bit obvious, and it affords great versatility in terms of both activities (lunch, people-watch, read, bronze) and location (easy trip to a number of medium-quality dining establishments and dormitories). Prospect Park, if you can make the trip, is glorious in the late afternoon and

sunset hours. Late night trips to India Point Park can give you that wonderfully invigorating/terrifying feeling. And the secret garden behind the Math Department is a real gem, as is the massive (MASSIVE) tree behind the Judiac Studies Department, both on George Street. We recommend an early afternoon blanket-and-crossword session, which will inevitably turn into a late afternoon dry-eyed wakeup. Places to avoid: Patriot’s Court. Ivy Room lunch: What better time than Spring Weekend (well, Friday afternoon until 1:45, at least) to enjoy the best and least-publicized sandwich bargain on Thayer? Yes, the Ivy Room serves lunch. Yes, they have good sandwiches. No, they don’t have chicken fingers. Get a Waterman (ask for cranberry mayo) and sit outside with a beer. Go South, young man: As you make your Spring Weekend alcohol purchases, a zealous allegiance to Spiritus is ill-advised. Take the walk south down Brook Street to Campus Fine Wines, where you’ll find a decent (though unremarkable) beer selection and (more importantly) some serious wine deals. Grab a couple cheap (we’re talking $7) bottles of Portuguese green wine, get ‘em chilled, and enjoy a cleansing, invigorating buzz. Green wine is a cousin of seltzer (along with G&Ts, facial exfoliants, and the cucumber), and is a great option for those of you who are (stupidly) averse to beer or cocktail. If for some reason you’re feeling the reds, Campus has a good selection of Montepulcianos and other cheap, good reds that come with a buy-one-get-one-half-off deal (try Frei Joao—it’s reliable and affordable). Band of Brothers: If you wake up and find that everything’s a bit too fun, a bit too happy, a bit too beautiful, and that shit needs to get real fast, nothing is better than

an hour with this HBO miniseries (which, come to think of it, is about 40 percent miniseries and 60 percent godsend). Just make sure it doesn’t turn into 10 hours. There’s more to Thayer than Antonio’s: It’s 7:30 p.m. on Saturday and all you’ve had to eat is the lime from a tequila shot or six. You don’t really want pizza or falafel. You need a quick, portable, tasty bite at a palatable price and you need it now. The play? Take out from one of the “real” restaurants on Thayer; they have a much bigger selection at totally reasonable prices, since you don’t need to tip on take-out. Kartabar has surprisingly good burgers (including an unexpected veggie burger with goat cheese and olive tapanade) at suspiciously good prices. The best food at Andreas is on the appetizer menu, providing you with a great selection of de facto tapas. Grab an order of taramosalata and go get your dip on in the pristine, cool, promising spring evening. Shorts or Jeans?: An age-old question here on College Hill. Shorts bring comfort, mobility, freedom, and, on the downside, ungainly staining potential and the knowledge that a large hipster contingent will refuse to treat you like an adult. Jeans bring style and wearability as the sun goes down; cons include unwanted sweat and a general lack of springiness. Be true to yourself. Footwear: As little as possible, as often as possible. Buying goofy shades at Shades Plus: It’s an $8 investment you won’t regret, at least until you lose your new accessory at the Saturday concert, which, luckily, you won’t remember.

28 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

Sunny Day Sipping
WRITTEN BY

FOOD & BOOZE

a world of brews
sadly, dead as the dodo, courtesy of the 18th Amendment, the stars and bars still prides itself on its modern-day reincarnation. Anheuser-Busch and the Coors Brewing Company make this light bodied, heavily carbonated “clean and crisp” brew readily available to the grateful public. Pre-Prohibition, the Pilsner style was much more alcoholic, darker in color, and more generous in flavor. This is mostly due to the use of adjuncts (corn, rice, and other grains) in the brewing process that became more readily available with the widespread use of industrialized agricultural techniques. Tip: When you hear “our beer is triple-hopped” in beer commercials, this is not unique. Most brewers do this; it is called the Hopping Schedule and it is an integral part of the beer brewing process, so don’t be too impressed. If I could leave you all with one piece of advice to take away from all this (as you disregard my beer guide entirely and guzzle 400% of your daily need of “all natural ingredients”), it is this: the American Pilsner will only taste how it is “supposed to taste” if you drink it COLD. So when you’re sipping under the Spring Weekend sun, cool it down. Ice cold. Just like Andre 3000 told you.

ALEX VON REYEN brewed, then allowed to ferment in an openair barn from the Middle Ages for two years, and whatever floats over the barn is what you get in your beer. Usually dry and light bodied, this one is packed with fruit flavors (apple, rhubarb, and honey). A little pretentious, but quite delicious — but then, so is Brown. At least $15 for a 20 oz. Bottle. Other Belgian Beers: Gueuze (Blended Lambic), Faro (Sweet Lambic), Kriek, Framboise, Peche (Fruit Lambics), Oud Bruin, Flanders Red. England Featured: Brown Porter This hearty British classic is a hoppy, dark brown ale sure to satisfy with its caramel, nutty, and chocolate flavors. I prefer to enjoy a good Stovepipe Porter around the fire in the dead of winter, but on a rainy spring day in Rhode Island, which Spring Weekend will most certainly not (fingers crossed) be, it can still be a nice respite from the cold. $8 for a six-pack. Other English Beers: Pale Ale, IPA, Brown Ale, Barleywine. Stouts: Sweet, Oatmeal, Russian Imperial. The Good Ole’ U.S. Of A. While the classic American Pilsner is,

I realize that Brown has a reputation for its “open” curriculum, but there’s a collegiate area of study that the Bruno-realm lacks: beer brewing. I have to give a big nod to my pretransfer institution, the University of Vermont (my home state; woot) for the course Nutrition and Food Science 033(A): What’s Brewing in Food Science? The class started up at the groovy UV back in the days when Brown kept PBR on tap in the Ratty. And, while I can’t say I went to every class, I did manage to begin brewing my own beer, which, as of yet, has killed no one (and will be tested on willing, of-age Sigma Chi participants before release to the general public, once I gently instruct them to sip and not chug). In the interest of my first Brown Spring Weekend, I thought I’d toss together a modest beer guide for those of you who dream of a world beyond splattie light. So let’s take a look at the global palate and help you land on a cold one that’s right for you, right for Spring Weekend. Cheers. Germany We’ll start with the most pretentious beer brewers on the planet, ze Germans. That’s right ladies and gentlemen — Germany once had beer purity laws. Reinheitsgebot. Water. Hops. Barley. Nothing else allowed, by law. Häagen Dazs! Featured: Düsseldorf Altbier From this classic German barley ale, one can expect a copper, brownish color coupled with high hop bitterness. It has a clean yet complex malt flavor, with slight undertones of fruity esters; topped off with a nutty, dry finish. Instead of paying the premium importers’ charge to get this beer from the source, pick up a reasonably priced case of the original Long Trail Ale (VT) — should cost about $8. Other German Beers: Hefeweizen, Weizenbock, Gose, Berliner, Weissbier (wheat beers), and Roggenbier (a rye beer). Belgium Featured: Lambic Ale If you’re trying to get in touch with your roots (and if you can bankroll bourgeois brew) this is the beer for you. This is as close to the first beer crafted you can get. That’s right, just like the Sumerians did it in 4,000 BCE: first it’s

Katerina Dalavurak

29 SPRING WEEKEND GUIDE APRIL 2010

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