“Prom Queen” Episode 2x20 Air Date: May 10, 2011 Written By: Ian Brennan Directed By: Eric Stoltz Transcribed By: andyoullbelost Featured Music:
Adele - Rolling in the Deep Stevie Wonder - Isn‟t She Lovely Rebecca Black ft. Patrice Wilson - Friday Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts Black Kids - I‟m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You ABBA - Dancing Queen
— Disclaimer: The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. included here are owned by Ryan Murphy, all rights reserved. This transcript is not authorized or endorsed by Ryan Murphy or Fox. — [voiceover - recap] So here’s what you missed on Glee. Prom’s coming up and Quinn’s desperate to win queen so she can hold on to Finn, who still sort of has eyes for Rachel. But Zizes also wants to be queen and Puck’s up for king. And Karofsky and Santana want to win, too, ‘cause they’ve both got a secret they’d like to keep. (SANTANA: Have you ever heard of the term „beards‟?) Artie and Brittany were BF and GF, but he got mad and said she was stupid, and now they’re not BF and GF. (BRITTANY: You were the only person in this school who had never called me that.) Can you believe that? And that’s what you missed on Glee.
[cut scene — Jacob Ben Israel is talking to the camera in his trademark microphone.] JACOB: Hi, everyone. It‟s Junior Prom minus six days here at McKinley, and today I‟m joined by Junior PromKing candidate, Noah Puckerman. [enter Puck.] PUCK: I prefer „Puck‟. JACOB: So, Noah, can I get a comment on the recent poll number that put the Fabray-Hudson ticket ten points above you and Zizes, A.K.A. the Rogue Warriors?
PUCK: We‟re still ahead of Santana and Karofsky by about a half a point, so our campaign strategy is to close the gap using a combination of intimidation and fear. JACOB: Awesome and classy. One more question. This one was e-mailed in by a fan: Where does Lauren keep your balls? PUCK: What? JACOB: I‟m sure you‟ve heard the word on the street that you‟ve been neutered by Miss Zizes, that she‟s the one who wears the pants in the relationship? PUCK: Shut up or I‟ll beat your ass! JACOB: I‟m not scared, I‟ve been hit by a girl before. [Jacob turns to camera] This is JBI signing off. Tune in tomorrow, when we‟ll be interviewing frontrunner Quinn Fabray. Hubbahubba.
[cut to title screen] [cut scene — Figgins, Will, and Sue are entering Principal Figgins’ office.] FIGGINS: I have some bad news. SUE: Will Schuester is leaving McKinley to go to Broadway? Oh, William, I‟m devastated, positively horny with grief. As a going-away present, here‟s a spray bottle of I Can‟t Believe It‟s Not Butter. Keep the head merkin looking buttery fresh. FIGGINS: No, no. Junior Prom is in one week and my favorite band cancelled. WILL: What band? FIGGINS: Air Supply, William. So I‟m inviting my next favorite group — the New Directions. SUE: Nope. No way. WILL: Um…I agree. I mean, normally, we would jump at the chance to perform, but, I mean, we‟ve got Nationals in three weeks, which means we have a lot of rehearsals. And a lot of taffy to sell just so we can afford the trip. FIGGINS: William, this glass is half full of dreams for all of us! I have decided to give all the money to the glee club that I was going to pay Air Supply! So that‟s four hundred dollars right there for you.
SUE: I won‟t allow it. I‟m prom coordinator and I was not consulted. Each year, I honor the prom with a bowl of my family‟s secret punch recipe, made all the more meaningful to me because it‟s the punch bowl my grandmother drowned in. And each year, that punch bowl is spiked. Such lawlessness will only be encouraged when being screeched at by that glee club! FIGGINS: Sue, it is not a discussion! We are in the lurch! SUE: Fine. Well, then, let me take this opportunity to make a request. William, I have in my spanx at all times a list of the worst songs ever performed by the glee club. And I would appreciate it if you would not reprise any of the following numbers: number one, Run Joey Run. You should literally apologize to America for that one. Number two, the ingenious mashup of Crazy In Love and Hair. Now, I know you must‟ve been pretty…pretty tired when you put that baby together. WILL: If you‟ll excuse me. [Will starts to leave room.] SUE: We‟ll see you at the prom, Butt Chin. [Will leaves room.]
[cut scene — Santana, Lauren, and Brittany are entering choir room.] LAUREN: I‟ve been to Ann Taylor Loft, Filene‟s Basement, and, like, six Forever 21s and I can not find a dress that fits. I‟m gonna be forced to make my own dress for prom. [Kurt enters room.] BRITTANY: Don‟t. You‟ll seem poor. SANTANA: You‟re up for Queen, you can‟t make your own prom dress. Prom is like our Oscars. It‟s seriously, like, the most important night of our lives. LAUREN: What about getting married? QUINN: Oh, you can get married as many times as you want. You only have one shot at your Junior Prom. [Mercedes enters room.] MERCEDES: What are you guys talking about? LAUREN: Prom dresses. MERCEDES: Thank God I don‟t have to worry about that. I‟m not going.
[cut scene — Will is standing in front of whiteboard in choir room. ‘PROM’ is written on the board.] WILL: Alright, guys — prom. SAM: Please tell me we‟re not doing songs about prom. WILL: Nope — we are the prom. Figgins has asked us to perform. RACHEL: Let‟s do Run Joey Run. [everyone in club gives her a skeptical look.] WILL: Now, I know this isn‟t ideal with Nationals coming up, but we really don‟t have a choice. And, we could really use the money. But I know that prom is a special rite of passage. I want to make sure that all of you guys get a chance to enjoy the dance, too. So we‟re gonna stag at the performances so that each and every one of you has a lot of time to dance with your dates. MERCEDES: Excuse me. [Mercedes leaves the choir room.] WILL: Is she okay? QUINN: Mercedes doesn‟t have a date for prom. BRITTANY: So? I don‟t have a date. I‟m just going to dance. And then all of your dates are gonna ignore you and come dance with me, so…your dates are really my dates. KURT: I‟m gonna go talk to Mercedes. RACHEL: No, let me. [Rachel leaves the choir room.]
[cut scene — Rachel is by the lockers in the hallways, walking over to Mercedes.] RACHEL: Hey. You know, I don‟t have a date to prom, either. MERCEDES: You know, I know that I talk a good game about not needing a man, and I don‟t. I just really want to take a date to the prom. I want the dress, and the guy…the damn corsage.
RACHEL: Somebody…somebody still may ask you. MERCEDES: It‟s this Saturday. You know, I just wanted to be Cinderella. Just for one night. One night where a guy would…would look at me under those corny crepe paper streamers and say, “You look so beautiful.” Then he‟d grab my hand and ask me to dance. Isn‟t that what prom is supposed to be about? RACHEL: You‟re not gonna go to prom alone. You‟ll go with me. MERCEDES: That‟s even more depressing. RACHEL: I have a plan.
[cut scene — Kurt and Blaine are at a table in Breadstix.] KURT: Give me your hand. [Kurt takes Blaine’s hand.] Blaine Warbler, will you go to junior prom with me? BLAINE: Prom? KURT: It‟ll be the social event of the season. [Kurt’s face falls.] You don‟t want to go to prom with me? [Kurt pulls his hand away from Blaine’s.] BLAINE: No, no, no, of course, of course I want to go with you! It‟s just…prom. KURT: What about prom, Blaine? BLAINE: At my old school, there was a Sadie Hawkins dance, and…I had just come out. So I asked a friend of mine, the only other gay guy in the school. While we were waiting for his dad to pick us up, these three guys, um, beat the living crap out of us. KURT: I…I-I‟m so sorry. BLAINE: I‟m…I‟m out and I‟m proud and all, this is just still a bit of a sore spot. KURT: This is perfect. You couldn‟t face up to the bullies at your school, so you can do it at mine. We could do it together. But I have to say, Blaine, that if it makes you uncomfortable at all, we‟ll just forget about prom. We‟ll go to a movie instead. BLAINE: I am crazy about you. KURT: So I‟ll take that as a yes? BLAINE: Yes. [Kurt jumps excitedly in his seat.] You and I are going to the prom.
KURT: Mhm, mhm.
[cut scene — Sam and Rachel are walking downstage in the auditorium.] SAM: Is this a surpise party or something? Because my birthday was last week. RACHEL: It was? Um, no. Mercedes and I, we have a proposition for you. MERCEDES: We were wondering if you‟d like to go to prom with us. RACHEL: Kind of like a three-way date, but not the dirty kind. SAM: That sounds great, but I can‟t afford to take one girl to the prom. I don‟t know how I‟m gonna take two. [Rachel pulls out a few bills with a $20 bill on top.] SAM: What‟s this? RACHEL: Our prom budget. MERCEDES: You‟re gonna have to borrow a suit from your dad [Rachel hands the $20 bill to Sam] and we‟re gonna buy $5 dresses down at the Goodwill and make our own corsages out of flowers from my mom‟s garden. RACHEL: And we can walk to prom and then use what‟s left to get the $8.99 all-you-can-eat pasta special at Breadstix. But, you know, the $20 — it‟s not charity, it‟s a loan. MERCEDES: So…you‟ll go with us? SAM: It would be an honor. [Rachel jumps up and down excitedly.] RACHEL: Yes! [Rachel, Mercedes, and Sam all hug.]
[cut scene — Tina, Kurt, and Brittany are sitting down together on a couch in the school’s cooking room.] KURT: Ladies, I appreciate you welcoming me into the sacred inner sanctum that is the prom gown dry run.
BRITTANY: Why did we decide to include Kurt? TINA: Because getting a look past him is like getting a thumbs-up from Joan Melissa Rivers. [Kurt laughs.] It just might boost our pre-prom buzz factor. [Lauren walks out from behind the makeshift dressing room curtains in a large yellow dress.] LAUREN: I look like a lemon meringue pie. BRITTANY: I think you look delicious. KURT: Don‟t despair, nobody bigger than a size 2 looks good in a prom dress — I mean, they‟re practically designed to make us look awkward. I think the color is wrong. Let‟s go navy! [Tina claps while Brittany looks pleasantly surprised.]It‟s chic and slimming. LAUREN: Duly noted. BRITTANY: Oh my god. TINA: It‟s brilliant, it‟s brilliant. Absolutely. KURT: Next! [Santana walks out from behind the curtain in a one-shouldered satiny red dress. Tina claps.] BRITTANY: I knew it. KURT: Devil in a red dress. Perfect, and it‟s totally appropriate for your personality. [Santana laughs.] I have no criticisms. Go with God, Satan — Santana! Now, if you ladies excuse me, I have to pool options for my own prom outfit. SANTANA: Wait, so you‟re going? Stag? [Kurt turns to face her.] That‟s just tragic. KURT: Yes, I‟m going, and not alone. [Kurt turns to face Tina, Brittany, and Lauren.] With Blaine. [Tina claps excitedly.] BRITTANY: Congratulations. TINA: That‟s amazing! SANTANA: Ladies, if you excuse me, I have a private fashion question for Kurt. BRITTANY: Okay. [Santana and Kurt walk off to another part of the room.]
SANTANA: So, Kurt, I think that you need a full security detail, which the Bully Whips and I would be more than happy to provide you with. You know, like with the Hells Angels when the Rolling Stones performed at Altamont Speedway. I think that went off without a hitch. KURT: And why would you do that? SANTANA: Because I‟ll get sympathy votes for prom queen. I‟ll be like the law and order Eva Peron candidate. Grimace and Stretchmarks here won‟t stand a chance.
[cut scene — Artie is opening his locker at McKinley, which has a picture of Brittany inside. Artie sighs. Enter Puck.] PUCK: So, since you don‟t have a date to the prom now, I was hoping you could help me out with operation Punch and Judy? Every year at McKinley, they crown a king and queen at the prom. But there‟s a shadow world. A dark community of troublemakers that crown the prom anti-king. ARTIE: You‟re planning on that being you? PUCK: My street cred‟s in the gutter. If I actually win prom king with Lauren, I‟ll never be able to rebuild my reputation as a lovable-but-dangerous miscreant. I have to spike Coach Sylvester‟s punch. ARTIE: What does this have to do with me? PUCK: I‟m prime suspect number one. Coach Sylvester won‟t let me within ten feet of that bowl. [flashforward to Puck’s fantasy of prom.] PUCK [voiceover]: When she grabs me, I‟ll create a diversion with my sweet dance moves. She‟ll be mesmerized. Hypnotized by my love dance. That‟s when you‟ll sneak in behind us and pour a bottle of gin in the bowl. [exit fantasy.] PUCK: Awesome, right? So are you in? My ass-istant badass? ARTIE: Look, I‟m sorry. While I admire your badboy villainy and, yes, long for the day when I‟m similarly cool, I just…I don‟t think that spiking the prom punch will impress Brittany enough. There‟s gotta be a surefire way for her to both forgive me and accept my prom proposal. There‟s gotta be.
[cut scene — Several people paint designs in the auditorium. Enter Rachel, holding sheet music for ‘Rolling In The Deep’.] RACHEL: Oh! Uh, members of the audio-visual club, I might possibly sing this song at prom and when I‟m done rehearsing, I‟d like your feedback. Tell me whether I was brilliant or simply outstanding. [musical number - Rolling In The Deep. Jesse St. James enters the auditorium and sings with Rachel.] JESSE: It‟s good to see you again, Rachel. RACHEL: Jesse, what are you doing here?
[cut scene — Rachel and Jesse are sitting in the seats of the auditorium.] JESSE: I mean, how was I supposed to know that I was actually supposed to show up to those other classes at school? I was majoring in show choir. I just assumed it would be like at Carmel and the school would get some Asian kid to take Math and English and Scientific for me. RACHEL: That‟s awful. JESSE: I came back to see you, Rachel. What I did to you, it‟s my one great regret. RACHEL: Yeah. It was kind of weird. When one day, you were telling me that you loved me, and then you were inexplicably throwing eggs at my head the next. JESSE: I know, I know. I traded love for a fourth consecutive national championship. It was a bum deal. For a first, maybe, but for a fourth, no way. I‟ve come to make amends. So what are you doing for prom?
[cut scene — Rachel and Finn are walking down the hallway.] FINN: So, I heard a nasty rumor that Jesse St. James is back in town, and I also heard that he‟s going to be your date. RACHEL: No, he‟s joining Mercedes and Sam and I on our „prom on a budget‟. He‟s gonna be in town for a while, though, so I‟m not sure what‟s gonna come of it. FINN: I just…I don‟t trust him. I mean, don‟t you remember what he did to you? How awful he was? RACHEL: You can‟t tell me what to do anymore, okay? If I want to date Jesse or anyone, for that matter, it stopped being your business when you broke up with me.
FINN: I still care about you. RACHEL: Look. All I ask is that, whoever I choose, that you be as supportive of me as I‟ve been with you and Quinn, even though I‟m dying every day inside about it. FINN: You know, I don‟t even wanna go to the stupid prom anymore. Quinn‟s got me handing out pens with our names on them, and where‟s the dignity? And I hate renting those tuxes and the corsage. I know I‟m gonna pick the wrong one and then Quinn‟s gonna be all pissed off and her mom‟s gonna look at me like — RACHEL: Hey. Just…just get her something simple. A wrist corsage. Girls like Quinn, you don‟t want to do anything that‟s gonna distract from their face, so ask for a gardenia. With a light green ribbon wrapped around it to match her eyes. Okay? [Rachel walks off and Finn wathces her leave.]
[cut scene — Karofsky is walking down the stairs in his Bully Whips uniform talking into a walkie-talkie.] KAROFSKY: Everything looks good. No gay protests or rainbow flags being lit on fire down this way. SANTANA [on the other end]: Are you finished talking? KAROFSKY: Yeah. SANTANA: When you’re finished talking, you should say ‘over’. KAROFSKY: Sorry. No burning Liberace mannequins. Over. [Santana is standing on the other side of the hallway with Kurt in her Bully Whips uniform.] SANTANA: Alright, Lady Lips. All clear. [Santana raises her voice.] Teen gay! You may now proceed to the next checkpoint without fear of violence! KURT: Why are you speaking so loud? SANTANA: I‟m the law and order prom queen candidate.[Santana raises her voice again.] Here to protect every student at this school [girl bumps into Kurt’s shoulder and walks away] from harassment. [Santana points at the girl.]Did she…? KURT: I‟m walking away from you now. [Santana waves.]
[cut scene — Brittany, Tina, Kurt, and Mercedes are all in cooking class with a few female students. Brittany is holding an egg.] TEACHER: Just crack the egg. BRITTANY: I just don‟t understand the difference between an egg with a baby chicken inside of it and an egg with an egg in it. TINA: They‟re the same thing. BRITTANY: Okay, that‟s really confusing, because this is a baby chicken‟s house. [Kurt raises his hand.] KURT: Ms. Hagberg? I understand that cupcakes are really trendy right now and I know that the making of a foie gras might be a little morose, but I would like to at least graduate high school knowing how to make some kind of pate. [Enter Artie.] ARTIE: Excuse me, Ms. Hagberg? I need to say something.[Artie wheels over to Brittany.] Brittany, I was a jerk to you. And I want to make it up to you with a song, so maybe you would consider going to prom with me. KURT: A prom proposal! [Kurt claps excitedly.] [musical number — Isn’t She Lovely. The rest of the New Directions boys sans Kurt join in with their own individual instruments.] [Brittany rolls her eyes and claps while smiling.] ARTIE: So? BRITTANY: Artie, that was lovely. But I‟m not gonna go to prom with you. [Artie’s face falls.] You called me stupid and I really didn‟t like that. So, I‟m sorry, but I‟m gonna go to prom by myself, and really work on me, and dance with other people‟s dates. ARTIE: I understand. I…I hope you know how sorry I am. BRITTANY: Yeah. [Artie and the rest of the New Directions boys sans Kurt start to leave the classroom.] PUCK: Dude. Sorry for the timing, but I‟d really like to revisit the possibility of you helping me spike the punch bowl.
ARTIE: I‟m in. Nothing to live for. [Artie turns around and shares one last look with Brittany before wheeling out.]
[cut scene — Blaine and Finn are on the couch in the Hummel-Hudson household’s living room.] BLAINE: So you think it‟s cool if I jam with you guys at prom? FINN: Yeah, totally. [enter Burt.] BURT: Good news, boys. My buddy Enzo from the tux rental shop is giving you half off. FINN: Sweet. BURT: Yeah. So what are you gonna go with? BLAINE: I‟m going simple. Black, thin lapel collar, very discreet. BURT: You know what I wore at my prom? I wore a powder blue tux with a ruffled shirt and a big velour bowtie. I looked like Tony Orlando. BLAINE: Was that a designer? BURT: No. [enter Kurt in his prom outfit — a cropped jacket, black waistcoat, black bowtie, and green plaid kilt with knee-high boots.] KURT: No need for half off my outfit! BURT: Because half of it is already off? KURT: My ensemble is an homage to the recent royal wedding and the late Alexander McQueen. I had to make it myself. There‟s simply nothing off the rack that is suitable for the young fashionable man in Ohio. FINN: Dude, that rocks. It‟s like gay Braveheart. [Kurt twirls in his kilt.] BURT: I don‟t like it. KURT: Well, of course you don‟t like it! It‟s not finished yet. I think it still needs, like, a sash, or maybe some beads.
BURT: I‟m not gonna stop you from wearing it. But I gotta be honest, I think you‟re just trying to stir the pot a little bit. I think you‟re trying to get some attention. KURT: Exactly! What‟s the point of dressing up? I mean, that‟s why some guys wear the tails or the top hat and the girls wear the hoop skirts. I mean, Blaine, help me out here! BLAINE: I think your dad has a point. I think what he‟s trying to say is that we just don‟t want to give anyone a reason to cause any trouble. BURT: There‟s a lot of bad people out there, Kurt, and they‟re a lot worse than this Karofsky kid. And all they‟re looking for is a match to light under the fire of their hate. Of course, I want…I want you to be yourself. But I also…I want you to be practical. KURT: Okay. I have done everything right. Now Blaine, I understand that, after what you‟ve been through, you‟re worried. But prom is about joy, not about fear. So I‟m wearing this suit. I worked hard on it and I think it‟s fantastic. And if you don‟t want to join me, I completely understand. [Kurt leaves the room, leaving Blaine looking exasperated.]
[cut scene — Kurt and Karofsky are walking down the hallway side-by-side. Karofsky is in his Bully Whips uniform.] KAROFSKY: Here we are, third period. French class. I‟m going to Calculus, so wait inside the classroom after the bell rings until I get back to walk you to lunch. KURT: Have you noticed that no one has said „boo‟ to me this week? KAROFSKY: „Cause the Bully Whips are protecting you. KURT: Maybe. But maybe no one has been harassing me this week because no one cares. KAROFSKY: You‟re dreaming. KURT: Okay, look. I‟m not saying that everyone in this school is ready to embrace the gay, but maybe at least they‟ve evolved enough to be indifferent. I see how miserable you are, Dave. I could just hate you when you were bullying me, but now, all I see is your pain. And you don‟t have to torture yourself like this. I‟m not saying you should come out tomorrow, but maybe soon the moment will arise when you can. [Karofsky begins to look near tears.] KURT: What‟s wrong? [Karofsky starts crying and takes his hat off.] KAROFSKY: I‟m so…I‟m so freaking sorry, Kurt. I‟m just so sorry for what I did to you. KURT: I know, I know. [Karofsky recollects himself.]
KAROFSKY: Cool. Thanks. Remember, you‟ll wait for me here, right? [Karofsky walks off and Kurt enters his classroom.]
[cut scene — Quinn is primping in her mirror while dressed in a light blue prom dress with sheer straps and sparkles on the bust.] JUDY FABRAY [from downstairs]: Quinnie! Your date‟s here! [Quinn puts on a silver tiara. Cut to fantasy of Quinn and Finn having won prom queen and king with a crowd cheering for them. Finn waves to the crowd. Exit fantasy and cut to Finn downstairs in a tuxedo and light blue bowtie, talking to Quinn’s mother.] FINN: One of the good things about being in glee club. You really get to know your way around a cummerbund. [Quinn walks down the staircase slowly.] JUDY: Let me get my camera. [Judy runs off.] QUINN: You look great. FINN: You‟re the most beautiful girl I‟ve ever seen in my life.[Quinn smiles and walks closer to Finn.] I, uh…I got you a wrist corsage. [Finn opens a gold box with a bow on top and Quinn’s corsage inside. Her corsage is gardenia with a light green ribbon. He hands it to Quinn.] QUINN: It matches my eyes. FINN: I know. [Quinn leans in to kiss Finn, but they are interrupted when her mother comes back.] JUDY: Okay, you two. Picture time. [she takes hold of Quinn’s arm.] Oh, you look like Cinderella! [to both of them]Let‟s get together. Ah! Okay! Prom pose. [she takes a picture.]
[cut scene — Mercedes is posing at Breadstix, dressed in a pink-purple prom dress with scattered sparkles and a near-matching satiny shrug over her shoulders. At the table is Jesse, Rachel, and Sam.] RACHEL: Mercedes, can I just say that you look fierce in your dress? [Jesse laughs.] JESSE: Totally, Mercedes. You both look smoking. MERCEDES: You‟re damn straight, we do.
SAM: Seriously though, Jesse, what do you think of the bolo tie? Pretty cool, right? It‟s all Springsteen-on-the-cover-of-Tunnel-Of-Love-album wearing it. JESSE: Dude, that was like, 20 years ago. [Jesse laughs.]I‟m really sorry to hear about what happened with your family, Sam. RACHEL: Um, I hope it‟s okay. I sort of filled Jesse in on what was going on. JESSE: Of course it‟s okay. Sam has nothing to be ashamed of. I know how tough it is out there. I couldn‟t even get a job as one of those singing waiters at Johnny Rocket‟s. But I‟ve got an idea. They say that the best time to start any business is during a recession. I don‟t know why, or even what a recession is, but it‟s my understanding that we‟re in one. RACHEL: He‟s so smart. I can‟t believe he flunked out of college. JESSE: So I was thinking. What are the two things that I‟m great at? Show choir and destroying the competition. So, what if I opened up a dance studio where I could act as a consultant for show choirs looking to get that extra edge? MERCEDES: Do you think there are enough show choirs to keep you in business? RACHEL: Of course there are. That‟s a brilliant idea. You could be like the Show Choir Whisperer. [Jesse and Rachel laugh.] I‟m sure we could get Mr. Schue to hire him in a second and that‟s how we could beat Vocal Adrenaline! [Finn and Quinn walk up to the table.] QUINN: Hey guys, you look amazing! And don‟t forget to vote for Hudson-Fabray tonight. FINN: Hey, Jesse! Whatcha ordering, scrambled eggs? I mean, I know you usually like them served on peoples‟ heads. JESSE: Quinn, you look stunning. The ghost of Grace Kelly. Let me know if you get tired of your boyfriend stomping on your pretty little feet all night, I‟d be more than happy to cut in. MERCEDES: Okay, hush, you guys. You‟re totally ruining the vibe. Quinn, you look hot. Finn, you look handsome. Love you guys. But get lost. We‟ll see you there! [Finn and Quinn leave.] Alright, this is gonna be off the hook. [Sam bangs his fists on the table.] SAM: Who‟s ready for prom? RACHEL: I‟m ready for prom! [Everyone at the table cheers and knocks their drinks together.]
[cut scene — Puck, Sam, and Artie are on stage.] [musical number - Friday. All the students have a good time dancing together.] BRITTANY: Best prom ever!
[cut scene — Rachel is on stage.] [musical number - Jar of Hearts. The students pair off and slow dance with each other. Finn and Rachel share meaningful looks throughout the whole song.] [during number, Kurt and Blaine are standing, watching the rest of the students dance.] KURT: Isn‟t it great that the prom is so inclusive this year? BLAINE: There‟s someone for everyone. [camera focuses on Becky dancing with another boy with Down Syndrome.] KURT: Even if it‟s a lie. [camera focuses on Santana and Karofsky dancing together.] [cut to couples dancing. Tina and Mike are scene kissing while slow dancing and Brittany is seen dancing with a female student. Cut to Mercedes sitting alone at a table, picking at her corsage. Sam walks over to her.] SAM: Mercedes? MERCEDES: Yes? SAM: I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful. Would you like to dance? [Sam holds out his hand to Mercedes.] MERCEDES: I‟d love to. [Mercedes smiles at takes Sam’s hand.] [after number, the camera focuses on Quinn with her arms around Finn.] QUINN: I‟m so happy to be here with you. It‟s what I‟ve always wanted.
[cut to Puck talking to Artie.] PUCK: Tora, tora, tora. It‟s go time. [Puck walks over to Coach Sylvester, who is in front of the punch table, and starts dancing.]
Hey, Coach, wanna boogie? SUE: There‟s no music. PUCK: It‟s okay, I got the music in me. [Puck grabs Sue’s arm and tries to lead her away, but she turns her head to the punch bowl and finds Artie spiking it.] SUE: Ah, ah, ah! [Sue grabs Artie’s arm.] In my office. Now.
[cut scene — Artie and Sue are in Sue’s office while Sue opens a case of dental tools.] ARTIE: What are you doing? SUE: I‟m just showing you my dental kit. ARTIE: Oh my God. You‟re going to start pulling out my teeth, aren‟t you? SUE: No, no, no. That would get me sent to prison. What I am going to do is attempt to give you a simple cleaning, which as anyone who has been to the dentist will tell you, is an excruciating affair of intense oral pain. ARTIE: What? No, it isn‟t. Who‟s your dentist? SUE: Sue Sylvester, D.D.S. Now, we can get all HMO up in your glee hole, or you can tell me who put you up to spiking my bowl. Come on, Legs. It was Puckerman, wasn‟t it? Oh, he‟ll get expelled and you‟ll be one mohawk short at Nationals. ARTIE: Please let me go. All I want is to get back out there and have one dance with Brittany. SUE: Okay, let me get this straight. I‟m trying to interrogate you and you just told me the one thing you really want! You are the worst POW ever. John McCain is rolling over in his grave.
[cut scene — Blaine, Brittany, and Tina are on stage.] [musical number - I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You. Couples are seen dancing with each other.] [during number, Jesse begins to kiss Rachel’s neck while she laughs. Finn walks over angrily.] FINN: Hey. Hey. [Finn pulls Jesse off Rachel.] Dude, keep it PG. JESSE: Dude, it‟s none of Y.B. - Your Business.
FINN: Well, this is my school, so it‟s my business. JESSE: This isn‟t your girlfriend, so beat it, MJ. [Jesse tries to turn around, but Finn pushes him back in his direction.]Don‟t push me. [Jesse and Finn begin pushing each other back and forth with increasing power while Quinn and Rachel try to stop them.] [cut to Sue in her office with Artie’s mouth pried open and a pair of dental pliers in her hand. Becky runs into the doorway.] BECKY: Code Blue in the gym, Coach. [cut to Jesse and Finn pushing each other even more forcefully. A crowd has gathered. Finn swings a punch at Jesse and Jesse dodges it.] [Blaine’s number ends and Sue runs over to Finn and Jesse and forces them off each other.] SUE: Prom is over for you, Sugar Ray! [She turns to Jesse.]You two, Marvelous Marvin! You‟re out, let‟s go. [She grabs both of them and drags them away.] FINN: You‟re kicking me out? QUINN: Wait, but he and I are nominated for prom king — SUE: Sucks for you, sister!
[cut scene — Figgins is on stage.] FIGGINS: Will the candidates for king and queen gather on the stage? [The candidates all walk onto the stage.] The votes are in. This is the moment you‟ve all been waiting for, where we announce our Junior Prom King and also Prom Queen. Roll the drum, please. This year‟s Junior Prom King is…[Figgins pulls the name out of an envelope.] David Karofsky! [the crowd cheers.] Achievement, achievement. SANTANA: You suck so bad, Quinn Fabray. I won! [Figgins crowns Karofsky and hands him a scepter. Karofsky holds up his scepter proudly.] FIGGINS: And now, your 2011 McKinley High Prom Queen…[Figgins pulls the name out of an envelope.] With an overwhelming number of write-in votes is…[Figgins looks solemn.] Kurt Hummel. [the crowd is silent except for a few whoops, hollers, and claps.]
[camera focuses on Kurt looking shocked and the reactions of the other glee club members, then focuses on all of the other students looking at Kurt expectantly. Kurt runs out of the auditorium. Blaine runs after him.] BLAINE: Kurt, stop. Kurt!
[cut to Kurt running down the hallway in tears with Blaine chasing after him.] BLAINE: Stop, stop! Kurt! Please, just stop, come on. [Kurt stops running and turns around.] KURT: Don‟t you get how stupid we were? We had thought that, because no one was teasing us or beating us up, that no one cared. Like some kind of progress had been made. But it‟s still the same. BLAINE: It‟s just a stupid joke. KURT: No, it‟s not. All that hate, and they were just afraid to say it out loud. So they did it by secret ballot. I‟m one big, anonymous practical joke.
[cut to Quinn running into the girls’ bathroom in tears with Rachel chasing after her.] RACHEL: Quinn, you need to calm down. QUINN: This is your fault! Nobody ever would have voted for me because they know he would rather be with you. RACHEL: That‟s not true — [Quinn slaps Rachel across the face. Rachel looks at her, shocked.] QUINN: I‟m so sorry.
[cut to Santana enterig the choir room in tears with Brittany following her.] SANTANA: How could my running mate win and I didn‟t? I mean, just because I hate everybody doesn‟t mean they have to hate me, too. BRITTANY: It‟s just a stupid crown, you can buy it at the party store. SANTANA: I‟m gonna be an outsider my whole life. Can‟t I just have one night where I‟m queen?
[the screen splits with Santana on the right and Kurt on the left.] KURT: I‟m not going back in there. SANTANA: I‟m accepted? KURT: No way. [the screen splits with Kurt on the right and Quinn on the left.] QUINN: There‟s no way I‟m staying at this school. I‟m gonna transfer. [the screen splits with Quinn on the right and Santana on the left.] SANTANA: As soon as we get to New York, I‟m bailing to live in a lesbian colony. Or TriBeCa. [the screen transitions to being fully on Santana and Brittany.] [cut to Kurt and Blaine in the hallway. Blaine is sitting on the ground against a locker and Kurt is pacing back and forth.] BLAINE: Would you at least sit down? [Kurt stops but begins pacing again.] Do you wanna go? We don‟t have to go back in there. KURT: Wasn‟t this prom supposed to be about redemption? About taking away that lump you had in your throat from running away? If we leave, all it‟s gonna do is give me a lump, too. BLAINE: So what do you wanna do? KURT: I‟m gonna go back in there and get coronated. I‟m gonna show them that it doesn‟t matter if they are yelling at me or whispering behind my back, they can‟t touch me.[Kurt kneels in front of Blaine.] They can‟t touch us or what we have.
[cut to Rachel touching her cheek in front of the mirror with Quinn next to her.] RACHEL: Most girls would be upset about being slapped in the face, but I happen to appreciate the drama of it. QUINN: I know you think it‟s hard to be you, Rachel. At least you don‟t have to be terrified all the time. [Rachel runs a square of paper towels under some water.] RACHEL: What are you so scared of? QUINN: The future. [Rachel hands the paper towels to Quinn.] When all this is gone. [Quinn wipes her eyes with the paper towels.]
RACHEL: Look, you have nothing to be scared of. You‟re a very pretty girl, Quinn. Prettiest girl I‟ve ever met. But you‟re a lot more than that. Here. [Rachel wipes at Quinn’s eyes with some paper towels.]
[cut to Santana and Brittany in the choir room.] SANTANA: They must have sensed that I was a lesbian. I mean, they must have. Do I smell like a golf course? BRITTANY: People don‟t know what you‟re hiding, they just…they know that you‟re not being yourself. If you were to embrace all the awesomeness that you are, you would have one. SANTANA: How do you know? BRITTANY: Because I voted for you. And because I believe in you, Santana. SANTANA: This prom sucks. [Brittany shrugs.] Now what am I supposed to do? BRITTANY: Go back out there and be there for Kurt. This is gonna be a lot harder for him than it is for you. [Brittany holds out a pack of tissues to Santana.]
[cut to Blaine holding out a pack of tissues for Kurt. Kurt wipes his nose and eyes while kneeling on the ground.] [Blaine holds out his hand to Kurt.] BLAINE: You ready for this? [Kurt takes his hand and gets up.]
[cut to Sue and Artie in Sue’s office.] SUE: Well, Stumbles, it‟s 10 PM. You‟ve officially missed your prom. ARTIE: I‟m not gonna rat somebody out for doing something that I did. [Sue frowns.] I was upset and I wanted to impress a girl, but I wasn‟t down on getting everyone wasted, so I poured a flask of lemonade into the punch. SUE: Wait, you didn‟t spike the punch? ARTIE: Yes, I did!
SUE: With alcohol. ARTIE: Oh. Yeah, then no, I didn‟t. SUE: Well, why didn‟t you tell me that before? I was just about to pull out a couple of your molars! ARTIE: So…can I go? [Sue opens the door to her office.] SUE: You should really be ashamed of yourself. You are seriously no fun to interrogate or almost torture. [Artie wheels out.]
[cut to Kurt entering the auditorium and walking up on stage. All conversations halt and everyone turns to look at him.] TINA [whispering to Mike]: Oh my god, I feel so bad for him. FIGGINS: Ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 prom queen, Kurt Hummel. [Figgins places the crown on Kurt’s head and hands him a scepter.] KURT: Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton. [most of the crowd begins smiling, cheering, and clapping. Figgins laughs and pats Kurt on the back.] FIGGINS: And now, behold the tradition of our 2011 prom king and queen here in their first dance. [Karofsky gets on stage next to Kurt and the two slowly begin to walk offstage to dance.] KURT: Now‟s your moment. KAROFSKY: What? KURT: Come out. Make a difference. [musical number - Dancing Queen. Santana and Mercedes begin to sing, looking unsure.] KAROFSKY: I can‟t. [Karofsky runs off, leaving Kurt alone.] BLAINE: Excuse me. [Kurt turns around.] May I have this dance? [Blaine holds out a hand to Kurt.] KURT: Yes. Yes, you may. [the episode ends with Dancing Queen. The students dancing and the couples of New Directions dance and take pictures together while Santana and Mercedes sing.]