Substitution

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Spec Script for a half hour sitcom about a teacher returning to the education field after a drunk driving charge.

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SUBSTITUTION Written by Joseph Burtoft

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(574) 527-3094

ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. BEDROOM DAYLIGHT The scene opens with James in his bed asleep. His cellphone rings. James [27, downtrodden, depressed, sarcastic, but a positive demeanor. Shirtless, boxer shorts] , tries to find his phone. He finds it and answers it. JAMES Attachments, open file, document name, open. Write it down, Mom. I’m not picking up next time.(Said half asleep) (Beat) Oh, excuse me I thought you were someone else. (Beat) Speaking.(Beat) Really? (Beat) Um, I don't know. I’ve got some stuff to do....(Beat) POV SHOT OF A TEACHING AWARD. JAMES (CONT’D) Yeah, I guess I can do that.(Beat) Alright, 7 o'clock.(Beat) Okay, bye. James hangs up the phone, takes a deep breath and gets out of bed. CUT TO:

2.

EXT. ALLEY DAYLIGHT James [Tight fitting button up shirt and skinny tie], opens the door of his house and lugs out a bicycle. He sets the bicycle down. FRANK Is that Joe Jonas? Or maybe its Nick Jonas, either way, OMG. Frank [Well dressed and confident] is standing by his car in the vacant lot by the alley. James is surprised to see him and sets his bike down and walks toward him. FRANK (CONT’D) Are you really wearing that? JAMES Are you really smoking before school? FRANK You've been out of the loop for a while. The smoking teacher is cool again. JAMES If the smoking teacher is back in, how about the sub with a DUI? FRANK I guess so, they called you didn't they? JAMES Yeah, they must be pretty desperate.

3.

FRANK I'd like to say I really went to bat for you, but they seriously would have taken anyone. Frank puts his hand on James's shoulder. FRANK (CONT’D) Okay Falloutboy, put your big boy bike away and hop in. Frank flicks his cigarette away and James picks it up and throws it in the trash. Frank gets in the car and James puts his bike away. CUT TO: INT. CAR DAYLIGHT Frank is driving the car, while James sits in the passenger seat. FRANK So, first day of teaching since the incident. JAMES Nope, I did that one day of summer school at Bethlehem Memorial. Well, half day, apparently someone informed administration of my criminal record. SLIDE TO: EXT. SCHOOL FRONT DOOR DAYLIGHT Three guards escort James out of a school and the guards push him down some stairs . JAMES Gees, can I get my briefcase?

4.

Guards walk back inside. JAMES (CONT’D) You can just send my check in the mail! (Shouted) SLIDE TO: INT. CAR DAYLIGHT We return to Frank and James in the car. JAMES Three security guards! I drove my car after drinking a couple beers and now I'm treated like I molested kids by the windowless van full. FRANK Actually, Kalinski stopped by while he was on bail and they just politely asked him to leave. JAMES Ha ha. (Beat) SHOT OF THE CAR MAKING A TURN IN TOWN. FRANK What did old man Granger say about you taking the day off?

5.

JAMES Jimmy, do you think these sandwiches make themselves when you aren't here?(Said with an old man voice)And then some other old man cliches about my work ethic and “his day”. He'll get over it or fire me. Either way, I don't care. FRANK Ha, Who are you today? SHOT OF FRANK’S CAR TURNING INTO THE HIGH SCHOOL AND PASSING THE HIGH SCHOOL’S SIGN. THE CAMERA PAUSES ON THE SIGN. JAMES (V.O.) Mrs. Byer. FRANK (V.O.) Oh, Sorry. Say “hi” to Rodrigo for me. JAMES (V.O.) Nice Kid? FRANK (V.O.) Nope. Frank parks the car. FRANK Are you ready to futilely explain common denominators to pregnant freshmen while they complain about morning sickness? JAMES Oh gosh, Math?!

6.

FRANK Yep. Frank gets out of the car. James stays inside and looks at the school. PAN SHOT OF THE SCHOOL FROM JAMES’S POV. Frank gets back in the car. FRANK (CONT’D) Hey, I know this is going to be kind of humiliating for you, but trust me the more you're here the better this school will be. James looks at Frank and nods. Frank pulls down the passenger side visor and opens the mirror. FRANK (CONT’D) You’ve got a few minutes. Lock it when you leave. JAMES Thanks. Frank gets out of the car. James looks at himself in the visor mirror. JAMES (CONT’D) You got this. You're an adult. You're not ashamed of yourself. CUT TO: INT. OFFICE DAYLIGHT Principal Saul Hogan [53, tall, fit, and almost trendy hair. Conceited but nice. ], is sitting at his desk talking to teacher Jen Slater [27, pretty and blonde. Naive and insecure.], who is standing in front of the desk.

7.

HOGAN Miss Slater, I’ve received several phone calls from parents regarding the learning environment in your classroom. JEN Well, what did they say? HOGAN Apparently, you’re having trouble controlling your students. Jen walks around to Hogan’s side of the desk. JEN Sometimes I have a hard time controlling things. (Said in a sexy tone of voice). Jen sits on Hogan’s lap. Hogan puts his arm’s around her waist and the two flirtatiously laugh. Someone knocks at the door. The two give each other a look of frustration. HOGAN Come in. Superintendent Rich Gardener [60, tall, grey hair, sweater vest and tweed jacket.], walks into Hogan’s office. GARDENER Good Morning, Saul. Hogan squeezes Jen around the waist three times (acting like he is giving her the Heimlich maneuver) and then pushes her off of his lap.

8.

HOGAN One, two, three. Well, I seam to have dislodged whatever was obstructing your breathing, Mrs. Slater. GARDENER Yes, thank god. And I assume the conversation I heard while I was outside was not some sort of sexual role playing thing. And in that case, Miss Slater you really should try to control your classroom. JEN Yes, I will. Jen stands next to Gardener for a silent second, while Gardener stares at her waiting for her to leave the office. GARDENER Leave the room. JEN Oh! Bye. Jen leaves the office. HOGAN So, How are you Rich? GARDENER I’d be doing well, Saul, if I hadn’t seen the background check of a substitute named James Bloom. Gardener puts the background check on Hogan’s desk.

9.

HOGAN Ah yes, but what those background checks don’t show you is his Monroe County teacher of the year award. GARDENER Don’t get me wrong, Saul, I am impressed that he was voted king educator of the wasteland that is Monroe County, but we don’t hire subs with criminal records. HOGAN I just thought we’d give this guy a second chance. GARDENER We don’t take chances, Saul. This isn’t rehab for teachers. The children are the ones we are trying to help. HOGAN Alright, I gotta keep him today, but this will be it. GARDENER Good,(beat)Come with me I want to show you the new PA system. HOGAN Alright, I’ll meet you there. I just gotta wait a second.

10.

GARDENER Cialis or Viagra? HOGAN Both. GARDENER Hmm.. Gardener gives a look as if to say “not bad” and leaves the office. HOGAN Frank. (Said out of frustration, under his breath) FADE OUT: END OF ACT 1

11.

ACT II INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE DAYLIGHT Frank walks into the teachers lounge where Keisha Langley[29, made up, slacks, nice blouse and long hair) is sitting reading a magazine. FRANK What’s Lohan up to this time? KEISHA It’s Newsweek, Frank, so unless she’s fighting for peace in the middle east, I have no idea. FRANK Nice, People!. Frank grabs a magazine off the coffee table and flips through it. FRANK (CONT’D) And a fresh crossword! Frank sits in the seat next to Keisha and begins to read the magazine. KEISHA What? FRANK Nothing, I’m just reading. KEISHA You’re looking at a Loreal ad and a Chanel ad. For your masculinity’s sake I hope your not reading. FRANK Okay, I need a tiny favor.

12.

KEISHA Frank, As tiny as your favor probably is, I’m just not interested in you and the more you ask the more uncomfortable you make me. FRANK Okay, first my favor is huge. Second, that's not what I’m talking about. I need you to organically make a positive comment to Hogan about my buddy James who is subbing today. KEISHA Is he incapable of making a good impression on me himself. FRANK No, but he’s my friend and a good teacher and I thought the more positive feedback Hogan gets the more likely he is to keep him around. KEISHA He’s not the DUI guy is he? FRANK No! I mean, what? KEISHA Yeah, I heard that Hogan scheduled a sub that has DUI charge or something.

13.

FRANK Who told you that? KEISHA Carrie. FRANK Hmm, Carrie.(Said angrily under his breathe) Well, anyway my friend’s name is James Bloom. If you see him do yourself the pleasure of an introduction and try to not get too overwhelmed by his endearing smile and charm. KEISHA Yeah, no promises Frank. FRANK I understand. KEISHA No, but seriously I’m helping students fabricate their college applications pretty much all day. FRANK Alright, whatever. I just thought you could help me out for once.

14.

KEISHA Right, unlike that time I lent you five hundred bucks, so you could invest in a hookah slash gentlemen’s club and up until now haven’t said anything about it. FRANK Always nice chatting with you Kiesha. Have a great day. Frank immediately leaves the teacher’s lounge. INT. FRONT OFFICE DAYLIGHT James walks into the front office of the school and up to the secretary's[40, overweight, hair up] desk. JAMES Hello, My name is James Bloom. I’m subbing for Mrs. Beyer Secratary points at a comically large stack of folders. James walks over and flips through the stack. JAMES (CONT’D) Wow, alphabetical order be damned. Secretary continues to click around on the computer. Hogan walks into the office from a hallway behind the secretary's desk. HOGAN Oh, don’t get up and help the poor guy, Kathy. You relax while he sorts through your disorganized pile of folders.

15.

KATHY I’m working. HOGAN Kathy, I’m behind you, looking at your computer screen. You are playing Bejeweled. Kathy shrugs and seems not to care about Hogan’s comment. HOGAN (CONT’D) Saul Hogan, principal hear at West Bethlehem. Hogan shakes James’s hand. HOGAN (CONT’D)

Don’t worry about that. I’m a pretty nice guy. I just hate Kathy. JAMES Alright, I’m James Bloom. Here for Mrs. Beyer. HOGAN Ah, Frank’s friend. JAMES Yeah, that’s me. You guys must be scraping the bottom of the barrel if you called me. HOGAN Not at all we have more available subs than China has (Beat) Chinese people.

16.

JAMES Oh, really? HOGAN No, That’s an exaggeration, but the list is long my friend. Here, come with me. Don’t worry about the folder. (Beat) Oh and Kathy, stay right there and don’t do anything that even resembles work. OK? KATHY Whatever. (Still Staring at the screen.) CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY Hogan and James are walking down the hallway to Mrs. Byer’s classroom. JAMES So do you have to show all the subs one by one what to do? HOGAN No, we usually go with the same ones everyday, so they know the drill. That’s why you’re the only one here. JAMES Oh, well they said seven.

17.

HOGAN Yeah, forty five minutes is a lot of time to prepare to pass out work sheets or push play on a VCR. JAMES VCR? HOGAN Yep, Washington High gets a brand new football stadium and we’re stuck with videotapes that still teach Creationism. JAMES Well, I’m Presbyterian, so that’s OK. HOGAN So I am. I’m just saying they’re old. JAMES Hey, I really appreciate you guys calling me in today. I’ve been dying to get back into a classroom. HOGAN Don’t worry. I understand exactly what you’re going through. JAMES You’ve had a DUI, too?

18.

HOGAN Well, no, (Beat) but I’ve been divorced three times. (Said as if it was similar) JAMES I guess they’re both bad experiences. HOGAN The divorces were good. The marriages were bad. Remember that. The two stop in front of Mrs. Byer’s classroom. JAMES Honestly, I’m going to try to forget that. HOGAN Huh. Well, it’s your life, and this is your stop. The lesson plan should be on the desk. JAMES Great, and if the VCR doesn’t work I can just give you a call. HOGAN Just blow in it, please don’t call me. Unless it’s an emergency. (Beat) Like a child is on fire emergency. JAMES Got it. The door shuts and Hogan is smiling. The smile turns into a look of disappointment.

19.

HOGAN Why do the the cool ones always have criminal records? CUT TO: EXT. FIELD DAYLIGHT Carrie [Baseball cap, no make up, sweatpants, T-shirt. Authoritative and stern] and her teacher assistant Cindy [Nice, agreeable, but not spineless] are setting up cones for gym class. CARRIE Alright, Cindy you teach them the slant run on this side of the field and I’ll be doing a zone blitz with the heavier girls. We’re checking the estrogen at the door today, girlfriend. CINDY First period P.E. Ain’t no blow off class. Yeh!Yeh! Cindy and Carrie do a masculine handshake that ends with a chest bump. CARRIE This year the interscholastic powder puff football championship is ours. CINDY How close did you come last year? FLASHBACK TO

20.

EXT FOOTBALL FIELD DAYLIGHT A girl has her arms awkwardly in the air preparing to catch a ball. The ball hits the ground five feet beside her. SLIDE TO: A large female linebacker from the opposing team is running at a petite quarterback (East Bethlehem). The quarterback underhands the ball to the linebacker. QUARTERBACK Here. Quarterback runs off the field scared and the linebacker runs for the end zone. SLIDE TO: Offense and defense are lined up on the line of scrimmage. The offense is East Bethlehem. DEFENSIVE LINEWOMEN Thirty four pinch, Cover 2, slant right. (Shouted)

Fade dialogue QUARTERBACK Has anyone seen my earring? It’s a hoop with a sapphire. I think I lost it over there. (Said like she is calling a play.)

21.

Quarterback points to an area of the field as she is clearly not ready for the snap. BACK TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD Back to Carrie and Cindy. Carrie is kind of teary eyed. CARRIE It was a building year. Frank walks out on to the field. FRANK Carrie. CARRIE Yeah. (Wipes her eyes) FRANK Oh no, you’re crying. I’ll just comeback later. (Beat) With chocolate. CARRIE What? No. I’m not crying. This is just cause of the pollens and the ragweeds. FRANK Oh, thank god. I don’t how to handle crying women. CARRIE What is it? FRANK Do you know James Bloom? CARRIE Maybe. Why?

22.

FRANK Because I heard you told everyone he had DUI. CARRIE Well, he does doesn’t he? FRANK Yeah, but he’s a great teacher and right now he’s stuck in the profession of hoagie toasting. CARRIE Look Frank, West Bethlehem isn’t a hangout for you and your drinking buddies. By this time the girls P.E. Class has come out on field. CARRIE (CONT’D (CONT’D) Now If you’d excuse me, I have some Blackberries to confiscate. Carrie walks away and Cindy follows. CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM DAYLIGHT James is up in front of the classroom introducing himself. James is a bit nervous and somewhat uncomfortable. JAMES Hello, As you can tell I am not Mrs. Byer. My name is Mr. Bloom.
(MORE)

23. JAMES (CONT'D)

(puts his hand up to the side of his mouth like he’s telling a secret.) But you can call James. Or Jimmy. Just don’t call me Jimbo. Rodrigo,[ Latino, gelled hair, earrings)who is eating a bag of candy, sits up. RODRIGO How about Puta? The class laughs. JAMES Ah, you should know I took 12 credit hours of Spanish online at Pine Valley Community College, so don’t try to pull that stuff with me, mister. RODRIGO Usted es un flaco culo. One of Rodrigo’s buddies bumps his fist. JAMES Hey, that’s the last one, so you better cut it out. (Said timidly) James opens a book on the podium. JAMES (CONT’D) If you guys would open your books to page 117... A Skittle hits James in the face as he is looking down and the class erupts in laughter. We see James’s nerves disappear and him look directly at Rodrigo.

24.

JAMES (CONT’D) It’s Rodrigo. Right? RODRIGO Psshh. Maybe. JAMES OK, well whoever you are, why are you here? RODRIGO I don’t know. JAMES Nor do I. I’m assuming you’re the Rodrigo that I was left special instructions to send directly to principal Hogan when you start to inevitably disrespect me. RODRIGO Yeah, that’s me. JAMES Rodrigo let’s the face the truth. You are just too much of a man to be sitting here with a clown like me trying to teach you geometry. RODRIGO Sounds about right.

25.

JAMES This is it for you. You have topped out right here and achieved total manhood.(Beat) Rodrigo you are free to go where ever life takes you. That goes for all of you, but anyone who feels like they can reach their potential long after remedial geometry, feel free to stay. The class collectively looks around the room and at Rodrigo. Rodrigo gets up and walks out. JAMES (CONT’D) Oh no, he really left.

FADE OUT:

26.

ACT III INT. OFFICE DAYLIGHT Kiesha is sitting at her desk with a student. She is helping the student with a college application. KIESHA One thing you’re going to want to do is include that you are a national honor society member. STUDENT I’m not a member though. KIESHA Doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t mean anything. It’s like being a member of the U.N. Rodrigo franticly walks through the door. KIESHA (CONT’D) Rodrigo? CUT TO: INT. LOCKERROOM Two female students dressed in their gym uniforms are getting into their lockers. STUDENT 2 I can’t believe she wrote us up for that fumble. STUDENT 3 I know I’m one incomplete pass away from expulsion.

27.

STUDENT 2 I can’t stand Mrs. Ellison. STUDENT 3 I kind of feel bad for her. STUDENT 2 Why? STUDENT 3 Think about how seriously she takes the powdered puff thing. It seems like this is all she’s got going on. We see Carrie sitting in her office overhearing the conversation STUDENT 2 (V.O.) Wow, that is sad. STUDENT 3 Yeah, (Beat) Oh! Hey check out these leggings I just bought. They’re so thin you can almost see my butt crack. STUDENT 2 Get out! The students rummage through the locker and then we see Carrie sitting in her office saddened. CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM DAYLIGHT James is sitting at his desk. Frank walks into the classroom. FRANK So? Talk to me. What’s up?

28.

JAMES Well, somewhere between starting the video and handing out the worksheet, I managed to verbally abuse a student and let him leave in the middle of class. FRANK What? It wasn’t little Jeffy Mcdonald, was it? I know his voice is ridiculous, but he’s a sensitive kid. JAMES No, it was Rodigo Estevez. FRANK Rodrigo? Huh, what’d you say? JAMES Basically, I told him he was a failure and that this class had nothing to offer him. FRANK Oh, man you’re a sub. You can’t be giving tough love on your first day. JAMES I know. I thought he could handle it. FRANK Alright Coach Carter, you gotta ease into this. Just stick to passing out worksheets and pushing play buttons.

29.

Kiesha enters the room. KIESHA Excuse me, I can come back later. FRANK Kiesha! James meet Kiesha, she is our school’s career counselor. KIESHA So, if you need a good SAT tutor holler at your girl. FRANK Kiesha this is James Bloom. He’s subbing for Mrs. Byer today. KIESHA Ah, this is the infamous James Bloom. JAMES Infamous?! KIESHA Kidding. You’re the only person Frank has ever had anything good to say about. FRANK Probably true. Wait, Rob Lowe in the West Wing. He was pretty good. KEISHA Try fantastic.

30.

FRANK Yeah. Well, I’ll let you two mingle. I’ve got an honors English class that refuses to teach itself. Frank leaves the classroom. KIESHA So, what do you think of East Bethlehem? JAMES It’s nice. A little smaller than what I’m used to. KIESHA And what’s that. JAMES I taught at Monroe Secondary. KIESHA Wow, gangster. JAMES You have no idea. FLASHBACK TO: INT. CLASSROOM DAYLIGHT James is holding a student down to the ground while the student vigorously tries to escape. Five other students are holding down another student. Both subdued students are reaching for a gun in front of them. JAMES Somebody grab the gun! BACK TO:

31.

INT. CLASSROOM DAYLIGHT KIESHA Did you belittle your students there too? JAMES Um, Excuse me? KIESHA Rodrigo Estevez came into my office crying. He said that some “gumby ass” teacher told him he was stupid. JAMES What? Gumby ass? KIESHA Well, you just scored yourself some after school tutoring. JAMES With Rodrigo? KIESHA Yep, he said he doesn’t understand geometry and he needs help. JAMES Great, this is why I got into teaching.(Beat) I get paid for it though, right? KIESHA It’s an extra thirty.

32.

JAMES Nice. CUT TO: INT. GYMNASIUM Cindy and Carrie are putting the footballs and cones into a storage closet. CINDY So how about Christi making that hit on Jennifer. She got all of that one. CARRIE Yeah that was pretty boss, even though it was after the play and mostly because Christi thought Jennifer slept with Jake. CINDY Still I saw some passion. CARRIE Yeah I guess it was a good day. (Disingenuous and a little teary) CINDY What’s wrong? Are you crying again? CARRIE No! It’s all these damn ragweeds CINDY It’s October(Beat) and we’re inside. James walks into the Gymnasium. JAMES Carrie Ellison?

33.

CARRIE Um, Yes? JAMES Oh, my gosh Carrie don’t even act like you don’t remember me. CARRIE Oh! Uh, James. Right. JAMES Holy crap Carrie, It was only three years ago when we were TAs at Randolph. I didn’t know you taught here. How have you been? CARRIE I’ve been well. JAMES Alright, (awkward pause) Cindy is standing behind Carrie smiling awkwardly at James. CINDY I’m Cindy Cindy shakes James’s hand. JAMES Nice to meet you? CARRIE I’d formally introduce you Cindy, but it doesn’t seem worth it seeing as James probably won’t be subbing here after today.

34.

JAMES Uh? Why would you say that? CARRIE Well, somehow (alluding it was her doing) Superintendant Gardener found out about your incident last Spring and he wasn’t to happy with principal Hogan for hiring you. James’s face is overwhelmed with disappointment. JAMES Okay, well it was nice meeting you Cindy. Carrie. James nods and walks away. Then, he turns around. JAMES (CONT’D) Um, If I may. Which way to the learning center? I am horribly lost. INT. OFFICE DAYLIGHT Jen Slater and Saul Hogan are at hogan’s desk looking at the computer screen. JEN If we book it today we get the complimentary room service. SAUL Yeah, but the prices always get cheaper the later you book. JEN Oh. Kiesha walks into the office.

35.

KIESHA Yeah, that’s not true at all. Jen he’s just got cold feet about going on vacation with you. Don’t let him pull that crap, girlfriend. JEN What? HOGAN Baby, that’s not true. JEN Yeah, Kiesha, I know you only say stuff like that because you’re lonely. (Said sympathetically) Jen leaves the room. KIESHA Wow, What happened to sisterhood? HOGAN Beats me, why are you busting my chops like that? KIESHA I don’t know. I want to fit in with the girls. HOGAN Well, talk about shoes for god sakes. What do you want anyway?

36.

KIESHA I just wanted to say that James Bloom your sub for Mrs. Byer is the real deal. HOGAN Really? Why? KIESHA The man made Rodrigo Estevez come into my office crying and asking for a geometry tutor. HOGAN You mean the Rodrigo that throws Skittles at me and calls me puta? KIESHA The one and only. HOGAN Wow, that kid is a real prick. KIESHA You’re telling me. He was in one of my classes last semester, and I almost got diabetes. Hogan gives Kiesha a confused look. KIESHA (CONT’D) I was eating the Skittles. HOGAN Oh.

37.

KIESHA Anyway, Frank wanted me to put a good word in for him, but he actually made a pretty good impression by himself. HOGAN Alright, noted. KIESHA Well I’ll see you tomorrow. (Beat) Oh, and if things are moving too fast between you and Jen just tell her that you have a surprise planned for her in about three months. HOGAN What is it? KIESHA I don’t know, but you’ve got three months to figure it out. Kiesha leaves the room. Hogan looks down at James’s background check that Superintendant Gardener left from his visit. INT. LEARNING CENTER DAYLIGHT James is sitting at a table in a library area getting ready for his tutoring session. Frank walks up to the table. FRANK Wow, first day and you get a bonus tutoring gig. You are totally in the running for rookie of the year.

38.

JAMES Yeah, I should have cashed my million dollar signing bonus before I was dropped immediately after the draft. FRANK What? Too much sports lingo. I watch VH1 and E!. What are you talking about? JAMES Do you remember the story I told you about the girl that I did my teacher’s assistantship with? FRANK You mean the story I always bring up when you start to think you’re a better person than me? JAMES That’s the one. You know Carrie Ellison? FRANK Oh no, you’re kidding. JAMES I’m not and apparently she did everything in her power to make sure I never work in the Bethlehem school system again and I can’t blame her.

39.

FRANK Wow that explains a lot about Carrie. JAMES Yep, so I appreciate whatever you did to get me this escape from the hell that my life has become, but the dark lord calls. FRANK Wow, sorry. JAMES No, seriously old man Granger is calling me. I can not loose two jobs in one day. Can you do this tutoring thing for me? FRANK Yeah, sure just let me.... Hogan approaches the table. HOGAN Mr. Bloom, I heard you got a date with the charming Rodrigo Estevez. JAMES Yeah, I’m quite the lucky gal, but I actually have to go to my day job. You know a girl’s gotta eat. HOGAN Nonsense, just work here.

40.

JAMES Excuse me? HOGAN Well, we always need subs and you have a knack for making little punks cry and I like that in a teacher. JAMES Oh, OK great. HOGAN I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Frank, you and me, brainstorming session. I need to get out of my couples salsa class. FRANK We’ll figure something out. Frank and Hogan leave while Hogan starts talking about the salsa class and Frank turns around and gives James a big smile. INT. LEARNING CENTER DAYLIGHT James and Frank are sitting at a table with books and calculators working on homework. JAMES Alright, so if all my SKITTLES make a circle with a circumference of ten inches, then how big will the circumference of two equal sized circles using the same amount of Skittles as the first be.

41.

RODRIGO Wait, that’s the same problem I didn’t understand five minutes ago, but you replaced tennis balls with Skittles JAMES I thought it might work. RODRIGO I like you. You make me feel smart. FADE OUT: END OF SHOW

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