Summer 2013

VALLEY HOPE
Inside this Issue:
A Newsletter for Valley Hope Alumni and Friends
Association News
Letters to the
Editorial Committee
Family Matters
Carry The Message
Foundation News
Friends & Alumni News
Reflections
Spotlight on 12-Steps
Letters from Home
You Asked
Just for Laughs
Coffee Cup
Edition 2 Summer 2013
Association News Association News
Association News Association News Association News
Association News Association News
Association News Association News Association News
Ken Gregoire
By: Ken Gregoire, Ph.D.
President/CEO
Reasons I Love Working for Valley Hope
Reason #1
If you google any number of phrases
(like Drug Rehab) you will find that Val-
ley Hope shows up on the first page. This
is amazing. Many organizations that
show up on first google pages pay large
sums of money to get there. We got there
largely through the work of our Web Master…..Edgar
Jameson. Getting there is important because many
people use the internet to reach out for help with addic-
tion. The number of people who find us on the internet
and then choose to receive treatment with us is growing
steadily. I recently asked Edgar to write an article ex-
plaining how this all works. I expected an article writ-
ten in an unfamiliar language that I knew would be in-
teresting but that I might not fully understand. Rather,
here is what Edgar wrote:
By: Edgar Jameson
Since I was a child, I always wanted to design
things. As I grew older I found that dream put behind
me in a fog of substance abuse. Years went by that
were nothing more than a blur of addiction. On Oc-
tober 29
th
2002, I found myself sitting in a window
of a hospital holding my first child who was just born.
Something in my mind clicked. I felt ashamed, sor-
rowful, lost, and sad I couldn’t understand what had
happened. I looked in my first child’s eyes and from
that moment on, have been clean from substance
abuse. Something in my child’s eyes made me see that
having the will to become sober was a big part of the
puzzle. This puzzle piece made something in my mind
click. I knew why I was here and I knew what I had to
do. I had to fight for my life back that I had given to
substance abuse for years.
The beginning of working sober was like starting
life over. I had to learn how to hold a job sober. I had
to learn how to manage my finances sober. Everything
was different. A week after my first child was born I
started college for Information Technology. To my sur-
prise, I loved it. I loved learning. Something changed
in me. My child was my guiding light, my torch in the
dark that I was fighting through.
Knowing I had to support my family with whatever
The Path of Self
positions I could find. I took odd jobs until 2004 when I be-
gan working in the Information Technology field. In 2005,
while working for that same company, I began designing an
internal website which took that old dream and brought it
back to the present. Four years later it would all change. I was
laid off in 2009 which drove my family to a very difficult
time. I began working small contract positions here and there
and had almost gave up hope on the Information Technology
field, but in November 2012 that would all change.
They say chances to do what you love are few and
far between. When I was given the opportunity to be
the Corporate Webmaster for the Valley Hope Asso-
ciation, I could not pass it up. This position meant a
huge change for my family and I, as we had to relo-
cate several hundred miles away. However, I would
not let that deter me from being able to both support
my family and do what I loved.
As the Corporate Webmaster, I am charged with
the up-keep and continuous development of the
ValleyHope.org website, development of new ideas for
the site, and social media growth. I also design and
develop new pages and content for the site to assist in its
positioning on the major search engines. My predecessor
David Rogers began the site transformation and made leaps
and bounds in his time as the Corporate Webmaster. Build-
ing off his work and continuing the growth to ever elevated
levels will be and has been a difficult path however, with the
help of the staff and constant learning, there is no goal unob-
tainable.
A wise man once said, there is never success with-
out sacrifice, my sacrifice would be to move my fam-
ily from everything and everyone they know with the
hopes that we could achieve a happier and healthier
place in our lives. My position at Valley Hope as the
Corporate Webmaster has allowed the restoration of
my self-confidence which had once been void from
my being. As I am here to learn so I am to teach for
knowl edge gai ned and not shared i s knowl edge
wasted. I will never give in, I will never give up, I will
continue through life, one foot in front of the other,
thankful for all the opportunity I have been given. I
will not forget the path that has led me here; I will
embrace it as that path has made me who I am today.
-
This may be the chief reason I love working for Valley Hope.
We have so many employees who are totally connected to what
we do, why we do it, in short to our mission. I expected Edgar to
educate me about SEOs. Instead, he touched my heart and in-
spired me. I love this job.
Front Cover Photo: Norton Valley Hope Chapel Window
Julie Jantzen AD, LAC,
AC/ESS Counselor
I come from a long line of addicts/ alcoholics. I grew up in a
household filled with addiction: my father, and mother, sister
and brother at one time were all active in their addiction concur-
rently! Wow, what’s a girl to do? It seemed family was in and
out of treatment on a regular basis and the peace and serenity I
felt while one or the other of the addicts in my family was away
in treatment seldom offered a respite from the anxiety I felt wait-
ing for whatever awful thing was going to happen next.
My mother got sober going to meetings alone in 1981, when
I was 15. Meanwhile, my father, 11 year old brother, and 16
year old sister were all full swing into their addiction.
When my sister Sheri went to treatment for the third and
last time in 1986 she was 19 going on 20 and my attitude was,
“I am not going to participate in family week, all they want to
do (the counselors) is make me cry and I’m not the one who has
a problem. I had been to enough family weeks already, thank
you very much. I’m 19 years old and I have my own life to live.”
Sadly, I did not go to my sister’s last family week - I did not
even go visit her. I was a selfish 19-year old. If I’d known I was
going to get the call at 3:00 a.m. March 22, 1986 that Sheri had
been killed in a car accident, I can guarantee you I would have
attended her family week. I’m not saying it would have kept
her from relapsing and dying due to her addiction, but I would
not have to live with the guilt I felt for not letting her know I
cared about her and was there for her.
I have been working for Valley Hope for 8 years now and get
to see miracles every day. Sad to say Sheri was not destined to
be one of those miracles. My father did sober up after my sister
died and he was sober for the remaining 17 years of his life with
one slip. If anything good came of my sister’s death it was the
motivating factor behind my father getting sober. My mother
maintained her sobriety despite the death of her first born daugh-
ter and she has been sober for 32 years now.
I’ve learned through Al-Anon there is nothing I can do to
change the addict - they have to want to change themselves.
Family Matters: Family Matters:
Family Matters: Family Matters: Family Matters:
Family Matters: Family Matters:
Family Matters: Family Matters: Family Matters:
By: Zach M., Tempe Valley Hope
Are you tough enough to be my parents? I am afflicted
with a disease that is cunning, baffling, and powerful. All of
my life you have given me everything and more for NOTH-
ING in return. I have always heard that a relationship con-
sists of giving and taking. You both have given everything
and I have taken even more.
I want to learn from my mistakes and endure my conse-
quences because that is the only way I will be able to learn.
You have always minimized or never had me endure conse-
quences. I understand you believed that you were helping
your son, but look where it has gotten me. If I do not en-
dure consequences, I will move through life under recom-
mendations from people that do not nearly care for me like
you do (ie, the judges, parole officers or counselors).
I want to emphasize that I am not judging you or blam-
ing you.
There is no need to do for me what I can do for myself. I
realize that both of you did not ask to be part of this disease
but I am asking for your help in defeating it.
Acceptance Is The Answer
Are You Tough Enough To Be
My Parents?
Another huge lesson I’ve learned is I have no control over any-
one or anything but myself. This allows me to be at peace re-
gardless of what is going on around me. I cannot prevent life
from happening or loved ones from putting themselves in harm’s
way or dying. I’ve learned constant worry and anxiety does
nothing but cause me to lose my sense of serenity, so I choose to
give it to my Higher Power and ask him to watch over them for
me. I also strongly encourage family members to participate in
their loved ones treatment and stress their loved ones odds of
remaining sober are increased because they chose to participate
in the patient’s treatment and attend Al-anon.
My mother likes to tell me to go read page 417…Acceptance
is the answer…Good Advice!
Notes, Cards and Letters from our readers:
Letters to the Editorial Committee Letters to the Editorial Committee Letters to the Editorial Committee Letters to the Editorial Committee Letters to the Editorial Committee Letters to the Editorial Committee Letters to the Editorial Committee Letters to the Editorial Committee Letters to the Editorial Committee Letters to the Editorial Committee
Keep that Coffee Cup coming and I’ll read about you
folks and others ...guess what, I’ll even stay sober wait-
ing on the next issue....oh ya. Tell Carol S. howdy and of
course Megan. ~Tom
The first thing I always do when I get the Coffee Cup is to
look and see what is going on at Boonville. I like to see
what is going on and is happening. It is like an extended
family. ~John W.
I thought the last issue was very well done. Just keep on
keeping on. ~Jim D.
I love the Coffee Cup. Valley Hope (Oniell, NE) was the
turning point in my life and I have wonderful memories I
will forever cherish. I will be there at Renewal Day to see
my boyfriend get his 10 year cup! But having the newslet-
ter come is a constant reminder (that I need) where I did
come from and to see other peoples’ good stuff is awe-
some! I enjoy it - thanks! ~Julie B.
I would like to know about success stories. Where are
people now? What are they doing with their lives?
~Megan K.
We always look forward to receiving the Coffee Cup. I can’t
think of anything that would improve it. Love the sharing
and seeing all the activities of all the centers. The stories of
recovery are so inspiring. ~Hattie and Ken S.
I did see the last one and I loved it. I don’t think you
need to change a thing! ~Barton D. W.
Carry The Message Carry The Message
Carry The Message Carry The Message Carry The Message
Carry The Message Carry The Message
Carry The Message Carry The Message Carry The Message
By: BreeAnna S.
When I walked through the front doors of Parker Valley Hope
on December 27, 2007, I was completely broke. I was drinking
a full 1.75 liter of vodka every day and when I tried to quit
drinking on my own I would end up in the emergency room
knocking on deaths door. Multiple doctors told me if I did not
get help soon that I would not be here very much longer. They
were right. When Parker ran their routine blood tests, my GGT
enzymes in my liver came back at 660. I was definitely pushing
the limits for what a body could handle. I prayed for a way out.
My body and spirits were done. I had absolutely hit rock bot-
tom, but I had hope.
I graduated from Parker Valley Hope in January 2008, equally
scared and excited about what this new life would bring. I got a
simple job to fill up the hours in the day, far away from the
temptation of alcohol. As the months went by and I got stron-
ger, I decided at 29 that I would finally give college a try. En-
rolled in one evening class at Arapahoe Community College and
even though I felt completely overwhelmed, I stuck it out and
got an A. That fall I enrolled as a full time student with hopes of
finding out what I wanted to do with this new life. One semes-
ter turned into two. Two semesters turned into a bachelor’s
degree and a bachelor’s degree rolled right into a Master’s de-
gree.
The discipline and determination that it took to carry a 4.0
GPA throughout college and graduate school cannot be expressed
To The Staff And Those In Recovery At Parker Valley Hope
in words alone. In my belief, it is not our abilities that show
people who we really are, but our choices. By becoming the
5 a.m. scholar who relentlessly pushed herself to succeed, I
now welcome the challenges that this new life brings. Sim-
ply put, college built more character in me than I ever thought
imaginable.
I graduated Summa Cum Laude from Metropolitan State
University on December 16, 2012. More importantly, two
weeks after that I celebrated five years of sobriety. In Janu-
ary, I started the job of my dreams, and in May I will finally
get to marry the man who has stood beside me for the last
nine years. I now dream of family and children someday.
It’s true; perspective builds character, and with character
comes hope.
I never ever imagined in my wildest dreams that sobriety
would be so good. I thank God every single day for the gift
and blessings of sobriety and I know in my heart that none
of this would be possible if I wasn’t sober.
To all of the people in recovery at Valley Hope now, I
wanted to share my story to give you hope and let you know
that life is so incredibly good on the other side if you are
willing to take the challenge to stay sober.
To all of the staff at Parker Valley Hope, I cannot thank
you enough for the gift that you have given to me and I
wanted you to know that for all of the addicts that fail, there
are a few of us who spread our wings and fly.
By: Brad H.
God asked me to walk a mile with Him,
I said I could.
God asked me to spend an hour talking with Him,
I said I would.
He asked me to be HONEST –
I told Him that I was powerless over alcohol but I could
manage my own life,
And I took a drink.
He asked me to have HOPE –
I told Him that I thought I was going insane and had sought
a psychologist to help me,
And I took a drink.
He asked me to have FAITH –
I promised Him that I would lead my life as He asked but
would trust Him not when confronted with adversity.
And I took a drink.
He asked me to have COURAGE –
I searched within myself and found no fear,
And I took a drink.
He asked me to use INTEGRITY –
I admitted to Him my wrongdoings but to myself, the exact
nature of these was unknown.
And I took a drink.
He asked me to try WILLINGNESS –
I told Him I knew that only He could remove my defects of
character but I was not ready.
And I took a drink.
He asked me to experience HUMILITY –
I prayed for Him to remove my character defects but not on
my knees.
And I took a drink.
He asked me to try BROTHERLY LOVE –
I made a list of people that I had harmed and was ready to
make amends but it was not complete.
And I took a drink.
He asked me to believe in JUSTICE –
I made apologies and excuses for my wrong.
And I took a drink.
He asked me to have PERSEVERANCE –
I told Him that I took an occasional inventory of myself
and found more assets than liabilities.
And I took a drink.
He asked me to be SPIRITUAL –
I reminded Him that I prayed in the morning for His help
but remembered that often I fell asleep at night before thank-
ing Him for His goodness.
And I took a drink.
He asked me to assist in His SERVICE –
I promised to preach my self-righteousness to all that would
lend an ear.
And I took a drink.
God had asked me to walk a mile with Him,
I walked half a mile.
God had asked me to spend an hour talking with Him,
I spent half an hour.
Somehow after walking and talking with God I was drunk.
“HALF MEASURES AVAILED ME NOTHING”
Half Measures
I was living in the black
It seemed I couldn’t find the light
Can’t get the monkey off my back
I found I couldn’t win the fight
Battling a foe
Who is cunning, smart and strong
Unable to say no
And losing track of right and
wrong
Drowning in my tears
But could never let it show
Losing all those years
Getting high but feeling low
The Silver Lining
Dear Skyy,
I was sobbing Saturday night. The thought of leaving you
behind hurt so much. You have been there for me through all
of the moves to lonely towns, all of the shun from holidays,
the boring summer days when everyone else was picnicking
with family. You faithfully are there at 4AM when I start to
feel sick. Just a few sips and I am happy & content once
again. I can count on you as an excuse not to work, or exer-
cise or be responsible with money or quit smoking, clean my
house, bathe, socialize, be accountable for keeping commit-
ments.
Like a wonderful lazy boyfriend that I’m in love with you
are an excuse to do anything I want. You come to the rescue
when I feel any feeling at all.
I’m 45 now and it is time to say goodbye. You killed my
father & grandfather. We both knew this would end sooner
or later. Let’s end it now before I drown in my vomit or get
cirrhosis. Allow me to earn money, enjoy living in my house,
take the dogs to the park, and find a human love. Maybe
even be a foster mom and put time in my home. Heck, even
clean my house!
I will miss the quick almost magical relief you give me but
I must rely on Jesus now. Your way is easy and fast but leads
to destruction. His way is hard and slow but leads to lasting
happiness. Believe me there are other ways to fill in the areas
you help me with. Until I find all of them you are banned
from my life. This includes your cousins: wine with steak, beer
on hot days, tropical drinks on lunch hour, rum in the islands,
tequila on airplanes, champagne at weddings, and scotch at
funerals. Just the little nip when I feel nervous.
You knew this was coming. Some people can enjoy you but
you bring out my stalking behavior and a clean break is the
only solution. GOOD-BYE!
~Melissa M
Cushing Valley Hope
Tearing up labels,
Knocking down walls,
Making only positive phone calls!
Racing toward fear
Courageously able to trust.
Openly honest, willing,
Again.
From the top.
~Brian S.
Boonville Valley Hope
Fun Circle
I am so grateful to everyone at Valley Hope. I learned to
live again without alcohol or drugs. Thanks to the great coun-
selors! The nursing staff was caring and considerate to my
needs. I appreciate the kitchen staff and everyone who helped
with my billing information. I’m impressed by the whole ex-
perience at your facility and loved the fact that your recov-
ery program involved a spiritual aspect. There is no compari-
son to other treatment centers. I would recommend you to
anyone in need. Thank you all again for helping me to have
a great quality of life! ~Susan G. and family
Postcard received at Cushing Valley Hope
To any patient,
You can do it. I know that because I did it. I wasn’t sure I
could make it through that first night sober, but by trusting
the program and putting the work in, I’ve almost put three
YEARS of real, true, honest sobriety together. It hasn’t al-
ways been easy, but it sucks a whole lot less than my old life.
I promise you that. I wish you more than luck.
~Mikey H.
Slowly getting buried
While lying in a pit.
Adding to the weight I carried
Every time I’d take a hit
I looked them in the eyes
All the ones who gave me trust
Told them each a thousand lies
Cause my addiction said I must
I lost my sense of self
I don’t recognize this man.
I put my feelings on the shelf
A life of pain was not the plan
At my lowest low
An angel came and gave me grace
She told me where to go
With her hand upon my face
I’ve received a gift,
To try again; a second chance
It’s time to make a shift
Stop moving back, choose to advance
Now the sky no longer sorrows
And the sun tells me to say
Today is the tomorrow
That I feared yesterday
~By Rhett D., Parker
Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.
~Emily Dickinson
Valley Hope Association
Foundation
Megan O’Connor, BS ADAC
Director of Development
Why Give?
Building Hope
Charitable gifts make a difference in the lives of our
patients. Our sole mission is to help the chemically depen-
dent and their families. We promise to be good stewards of
your donation and support!
Possibilities
Choose the center you want to benefit and designate your
gift for a specific purpose or leave as unrestricted
How to Give
Donate online www.valleyhope.org/donate or mail to: VHA
Foundation, P.O. Box 59, Norton, KS, 67654
New Birthday Club Members
Thank you for supporting Valley Hope’s mission to help alcoholics, addicts and their families.
2013 BIRTHDAY CLUB
Recovery Birthday __________________________ Donation Amount________________
My gift is to help a patient at (location) __________________________________ Valley Hope.
Your name _______________________________________________________________________
Address _____________________________________City ___________________ST _____ZIP_______
Mail to VHA Foundation, PO Box 59, Norton, KS 67654
Send a dollar or more for each year of your recovery and your gift will provide immediate
needs for patients, such as treatment-related books and recovery house down-payments.
A total of $158.00 was received for immediate patient assistance needs! Happy Birthday!
Valley Hope’s Gift Acceptance Policy
Valley Hope Association and the Foundation will not accept
gifts from a patient in excess of a cumulative $250 amount
within the first two years of discharge from any level of care.
This amount was determined to allow everyone the opportu-
nity to participate in fund-raisers, golf tournaments, Birthday
Club, etc. Our ethical policies guide us to maintain only a
therapeutic and professional relationship with patients, for a
minimum of two years following discharge. If we begin ac-
cepting donations within that two year period, our relation-
ship changes from therapeutic to “donor-social.”
Contact Megan at [email protected] or phone (785)877-
4483 (GIVE
Fred G Grapevine
Shane F. Parker 4 Years
Patrick O. Atchison 3-15-04 9 Years
Rebecca S. Atchison 3-19-09 4 Years
Andrea P. Parker 1-24-05 8 Years
Valley Hope Association Foundation
Donations Received from January 12 -April 9, 2013
Thank you for supporting Valley Hope’s mission to help alcoholics, addicts and their families.
Norton
Unrestricted
Julie and Paul Jonas
In Memory of Casey Clayton
Thomas David Martin
In Memory of Casey Clayton
Mick MacNair
Bernie & Dixie Schroder
In Memory of Steve B.
Carroll & Ethel Smith
Erin Smotherman
In Memory of Casey Clayton
Patient Scholarship Assistance
Violet Kinderknecht
Norton Change a Life
Family of Clifford Wear
In memory of Clifford Wear
R.W. & Doris Yeager
In Memory of Guy Yeager
Facility Improvement/Operating
Dr. & Mrs. William & Val Leipold
Julie Siefers
Patient Assistance Fund
Ambassadors Class 1st Christian Church
Ambassadors Class 1st Christian Church
Ambassadors Class 1st Christian Church
Julie Siefers
Julie Siefers
Sterling Smith
Norton Valley Hope staff,
About 32 years ago my husband and I went to Valley Hope treatment center. We
learned how to communicate with each other and we had to work our own program.
We learned how not to control each other and to live and let live. It has been a tough
and sometimes hard journey but also at times a very beautiful and peaceful journey.
My beloved husband died December 8, 2012. We want to give you this memorial
check to help give someone else have a chance to go through the program. Love always,
The family of Clifford W.
Please accept this donation to Norton Valley Hope in memory of Steve B. who re-
cently passed away. He was in treatment there in 1996 or 1997. He practiced Step
12 and unselfishly took time off from his business to bring us to Norton on Sept. 14,
1998 and brought the gift of recovery to our home. For that, we will be forever grateful
to him. ~Bernie and Dixie S.
I contribute $10 a year for every wonderful, sober year. It will be 8 years on January
24th. Thank you for helping to save my life! God Bless you. ~Andrea P.
Cushing
Patient Scholarship Assistance
Sarah Banton
In Memory of Brian Yocham
Kelly Kalkowski
In Memory of Brian Yocham
Al & Susan Roberts Scholarship Fund
Chesapeake Operating, Inc.
Chesapeake Operating, Inc.
Sunoco
These donations were made on behalf of Mark R, who passed on Dec.
26
th
. He credited your program with straightening out his life. Thank
you for helping my dad. ~Megan T. Atchison Valley Hope
Thanks for all you do. God’s Bless-
ings, ~Russ S., O’Neill
Atchison
Unrestricted
Linda Brown
Rebecca Byers
In memory of Mark Rohrs
Robin Crutcher
In Memory of John Senne
DST Systems, Inc.
In Memory of Robert
(Bobby) Dudley
Teresa Schmeck
Teresa Schmeck
Barbara & Paul Schwartz -In
memory of Mark Rohrs
Megan & Jason Taylor
In memory of Mark Rohrs
Patient Scholarship Assistance
Catherine & David Walter
William D. Leipold Endowment
for Scholarships
Nicole & Matthew O’Brien
Patient Assistance
Patrick O’Riley
Rebecca Sutton
O’Neill
Unrestricted
Sally Beardslee
In Honor of William B. (30+ yrs)
Patient Scholarship Assistance
Monte Miller
Megan O’Connor
JoAnn & Howard Quandt -In
Memory of Nell Carroll
Bill & Tammy Steinmetz
Patient Assistance
Anonymous Donor
Consolidated Concrete
Dr. Timothy & Cheryl Dunagan
Farm Bureau Financial/Kris Jerke
Robert Frazier
Helping Hands Chapel
Mike Heib Construction Inc.
Mike Horn
Island View Dental
David Lofgreen
Midwest LTC Pharmacy
O’Neill Helping Hands
Eric Oberembt
Brad Patterson
Russ Schwartz
Russell Schwartz
The Trailer Shop
Tiede Second Hand & Antiques
Paul and Vickie Walz
Scott Weber
Window World / Robert Frazier
Chandler/Tempe
Patient Scholarship Assistance
ABBA House Sober Living
Alpha Omega Counseling
Steve Amelotte
Gonzalo Ardavin
Bashas’ United Drugs
The Benefits Department, Inc.
BMG
Robert Bryant
California Pools and Landscape
Carla Vista Sober Living
Carleton Recovery Centers
Crossroads Inc.
Dean Notaries of Arizona
Earnhardt Auto Centers
Roth Eddings
Dr. Dean Fairchild and John Knight
Gilbert Chiropractic & Acupuncture
Doug Gray
Cesar Guiterrez
The Hope Home for Women
Dave Ketter
Cheryl Laflen
In Honor of Amy LeVan (12 yrs.)
Dr. Steven Locnikar
(Continued)
Kandi Morris
Terry Murphy
Oasis Animal Hospital
Megan O’Connor
Paragon Partners Ltd.
Payson Petroleum
The Petersen’s
Mike Roark
William Rubin
Mike and Joan Smith
United Healthcare
Valley Protective Services
Wells Fargo
Western States Flooring
Patient Assistance Fund
Marla Kelsey -In Honor of David Slack
Grapevine
Patient Assistance Fund
Fred Gentry
Monica Moline
Elma Willour
In Memory of Jason Elliott
Bernice Seyb
In Memory of Jason Elliott
Pauline Williams
In Memory of Jason Elliott
Nancy and Gary Gladin
In Memory of Jason Elliott
Virginia Fichter
In Memory of Jason Elliott
Teresa Fichter
In Memory of Jason Elliott
McPherson County
Cheryl Elaine Fulsom
Linda Likes & Grady Likes
In Memory of Mandy Likes
Moundridge
Unrestricted
Kalee & Karen Beal
In Memory of Jason Elliott
Larry & Glenna Gamblian -
n Memory of Jason Elliott
Patient Scholarship Assistance
Georgetown Nursing
In Memory of Jason Elliott
Vicki Heigele
In memory of Patrick Fowler
Mr. & Mrs. Foster Smith
Patient Assistance Fund
Kevin Seuser
Cindy Malinowsky
Patient Scholarship Assistance
Michael DeWeese
FYI
You can read the Coffee Cup on line at www.valleyhope.org
if you prefer to not receive a hard copy and view it online, we
will remove your name from the Coffee Cup mailing list, or if
you wish to be removed from the subscription list, please call
us at 800-654-0486 or e-mail us at [email protected].
Patient Assistance Fund
St. Louis
Facility Improvements/Operating
Blair Halpern
All Centers
Unrestricted
Anonymous Donor
Rickey Dawson
Ashley Owens
Reid Wilkes
Patient Scholarship Assistance
Lawrence Asher
(In honor of Sylvia Tanner & her
nephew Fred Hunt)
Stuart Olson
William D. Leipold Endowment for
Scholarships
Regina Beikman
Kerri Ray
In memory of Jim Sughroue
Wichita
Patient Scholarship Assistance
Clyde Taverner
In Memory of Jason Elliot
Parker
Unrestricted
Andrea Paulk
Shane Fruth
Megan O’Connor
Jesse Smith
Bob & Carol Suter
Debbie Van Vorst
Just For Laughs
By: Ben Ben the Fisherman
www.recoverycartoons.com
Take Care of Him
A Happy Guy
Basket
This Morning was so
good I put in Two Dollars!
But if he starts taking care
of himself, what will I do?
A Happy Guy!














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Friends & Alumni News Friends & Alumni News
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Renewal Day Calendar
Stay in Touch
Alumni and Friends
Visit our website, www.valleyhope.org and click on Alumni and Friends link and click ‘STAY IN TOUCH’ to
receive emails about Renewal Days, special events and participate in the Coffee Cup questions and answers.
You’ll also be the first to see the new Coffee Cup newsletter online.
Medallions, Speakers and Fellowship
*Anniversary Events
All Saturdays
Cushing –June 8
Parker/Denver – June 22
Boonville –August 10
Norton - August 17
O’Neill –August 24
Moundridge – September 28
Chandler/Tempe – September 28
Grapevine – October
Alumni & Friends Support Groups
Atchison, KS
Alumni group meets each month at Atchison Valley Hope on
Renewal Day at 9 a.m. for a business meeting and 10 a.m. for
‘Road to Recovery’ when we answer questions from the
patient group.
Upcoming dates: May 17, June 21, July 19, Aug 16
Contact: Dave W. Phone: (913) 271-2500 -
E-mail: [email protected]
Chandler, AZ
Alumni and friends meet in the dining hall of Chandler Valley
Hope every Tuesday evening from 7:15 until 9 p.m. for speaker
and group discussion.
Contact: Ray Pena - Phone: (480) 229-5723
E-mail: [email protected]
Dodge City, KS
Group meets 3rd Sunday each month for breakfast, fellowship
and speaker at 9 a.m.
Where: Casey’s Cowtown, 503 E. Trail St. Dodge City
Upcoming dates: May 19, June 16, July 21, Aug18
Contact: Damon P. - Phone: (620) 339-0687
E-mail: [email protected]
Grapevine, TX
Alumni meet every Saturday for 12-Step Big Book Study/Re-
covery Meetings at 6:00 p.m. in the Lecture Hall at Grapevine
Valley Hope. Alumni also meet on the last Friday of every
month for Renewal Day starting at 9 a.m. with Alumni meeting,
10 a.m. Brunch, 11 a.m. Alumni led lecture and 1p.m. Alumni
small group
Contact: Suzanne W. Email: [email protected]
Hays, KS
Group meets once per month on Sunday morning at 9:30 a.m.
for breakfast, fellowship and speaker Professor’s Steak
House, 521 East 11
th
, Hays
Upcoming breakfasts: May 19, June 23, July 21, Aug 18
Contact: Ron S - Phone: (785) 650-1064
North Platte, NE
Group meets the third Saturday of every month for an evening
potluck fellowship and speaker. Where: Bethel Church in ‘the
loft’, 2700 W. Philip Ave
Upcoming meetings: May 18, June 15, July 20, no August
Contact person: Ralph and Charlene O.
Phone:(308) 537-3863
Norton, KS
Alumni group meets every Thursday evening, 7 p.m. for a
meeting. Come early for coffee and cookies.
Where: Norton Valley Hope Dining Hall
Contact: Duane S. - Phone: (785) 675-1966
E-mail: [email protected]
Oklahoma City, OK
Join us every Tuesday evening at 6 p.m. at Oklahoma City
Valley Hope, 6110 NW 63rd
Contact: Brian G - Phone: (405) 315-7916
E-mail: [email protected]
Parker, CO
Alumni and current patient group meet for an open discussion
around recovery. Patient group is encouraged to ask any
recovery based question of the Alumni Group, allowing
Alumni to share experiences about meetings, sponsorship, .
When: 2nd and 4th Saturday of each month
Where: Parker Valley Hope - Lecture Hall
Contact: John W. - Phone: (303) 808-4861
St. Louis, MO
Alumni group meets on the 4th Wednesday each month;
from 5:30 to 6:45 pm. We’ll have a speaker and
refreshments. Upcoming dates, May 22, June 26, July 24,
Aug 28
Where: St. Louis Valley Hope -12777 Olive Blvd.
ph: (314) 514-9220
E-mail: [email protected]
Tempe, AZ
Group weekly meetings are held at Tempe Valley Hope, Rio
Sureno Med Plaza, 2103-2115 E. Southern, phone (480) 831-
9533
Tuesdays - 8 p.m.
NEW Young People’s Alumni Meeting with rotating schedule of
discussion & book studies.
Wednesdays –4:30
Alumni Big Book Study one hour meeting
Thursdays – 6 p.m.
Speaker and open meeting format. Open to patients, alumni,
family and friends.
Note: 2
nd
Thursday of each month a POTLUCK at 5 p.m.
Contact: Rick K. ph. (480) 232-7587
Tulsa, OK
Every Thursday evening at 6:00 p.m. join us for a great one
hour meeting.
Where: at the Fellowship Church, 2900 S. Harvard
Contact: Peter G. Phone: (918) 760-6011 or Lori G. Phone:
(918) 510-1713
Reflections: Reflections:
Reflections: Reflections: Reflections:
Reflections: Reflections: Reflections: Reflections: Reflections:
Reflections: Reflections: Reflections: Reflections: Reflections:
By: Al Roberts
(Retired Cushing Program Director)
I appreciate being asked to reflect on
my experiences with Valley Hope. There
are so many memories; I could write pages
but that likely would get tedious for me
and you, the reader. I was the Program
Director of Cushing Valley Hope from it’s
opening in 1974 through 1998. My first
experience with Valley Hope came earlier,
however, on November 1, 1970. That is the day I was “dropped
off” at the front door of Norton Valley Hope and, coincidentally,
my “dry date.” Other than the steadfast love and support of my
family, my experience with Valley Hope has been the most
meaningful experience of my life and changed my life
dramatically.
I believe that significant change must take place within an
individual for them to enjoy comfortable sobriety. I hope you
will identify with some of my reflections. Change started for me
during my treatment. I had been introduced to Alcoholics
Anonymous previously but I began to wake up to the reality of
the Step 1 and gained a rudimentary understanding of the
AA program. I was impressed by the Norton staff; for you
old-timers - -Doc L., Gordy P., Bill K., Chaplain Charles, Olga,
Val, etc. They were educated, knowledgeable, giving, but most
of all, genuine. Some early changes happened while in
treatment; I could learn, I could gain knowledge, maybe I could
even be genuine instead of “an actor on the stage of life”. I wanted
what they had.
After treatment, I quit my job, and with my wife, Susan and
children, Tyler and Alison, we moved to Emporia, KS to enroll
in a graduate program in counseling. I returned to Norton Valley
Hope to intern and was subsequently hired as a counselor. We
were sent to Wichita to open an outpatient office and in 1974,
sent to Cushing to manage Cushing Valley Hope. What busy
and exciting times. Valley Hope was expanding and Susan and
I were a part of that. I didn’t reflect much on personal changes
at that time because we were just too involved. As I look back,
I realize significant changes took place that supported
comfortable sobriety. Most importantly, I was able to relate to
other people without alcohol or any other mood altering drug.
I was given a unique opportunity to do this but I believe this is
a learned response that anyone in recovery can do and will
result in sobriety being more precious than the alternative. The
other ingredient- -helping other people. As you improve your
ability to relate you begin to empathize and reach out to others.
What is AA? A tried and true program of recovery and People
helping People. What is Valley Hope? An educational and
therapeutic environment and People helping People. I genuinely
wanted to reach out to others and be of help. This was a major
change from my years as an active alcoholic. This brought a
sense of worth, recreated self-esteem, if you will, that is so
obviously destroyed by chemical dependency. How fortunate
to be in a job that expected me to help other people. True, but
the amazing reality at Cushing Valley Hope and, I believe, at all
other Valley Hope facilities is patients or clients helping each
other. The staff is providing structure, knowledge, support and
help but the change is happening with everyone there. To see
their love for each other, to witness the caring and to have a
small part in people’s life-style changes was amazing. Carrying
these changes, (to be genuine, to build relationships, to sincerely
care and to help others) beyond treatment and into everyday
life is the stuff of contented, long term sobriety.
Susan and I cherish the memory of the hundreds of staff
members at Cushing Valley Hope and their amazing ability to
give without expectation of reward. We cherish the memory of
literally thousands of patients that we became acquainted with
and shared good times and bad, joys and sorrows, but mostly
love. I love Valley Hope because it remains an organization that
is genuine in it’s desire to help chemically dependent people
and family members find contented recovery.
(“Spotlight On The Twelve Steps” contnued)
.
Focusing on the good folks at the Eagle Rock Baptist Church
who strained at gnats and swallowed camels, we see why healthy
spirituality requires that we not become stagnated in our spiritual
lives. We must continually press in to improve our conscious
contact with God, always understanding that the revelations we
receive are entirely personal. Though we certainly should share
our convictions and discoveries with others, it should always be
in a spirit of tolerance and sensible understanding that another’s
journey with God is entirely their own, not ours. If we do not
continue to grow spiritually, we will all too easily lapse into self-
sufficient, self-satisfied pride and become blind to the needs of
others. We will be devoid of the power of God. Having lost
Finally, if we continue to work the Steps, incidents that they
are of purposeful grace (my great Uncle Lawrence probably didn’t
have available,) then we will achieve the ongoing spiritual
awakening that is so necessary to recovery. What is that
awakening? Many could offer a better and more cogent answer
than I, but I would refer back to Lawrence’s story. Spiritual
awakening is a daily rebirth into new life. Perhaps this is what
Jesus really meant when he said, “You must be born again.”
Every day, we open our lives and will to the spiritual dimension
of life in all of its mystery and madness. Somehow by grace, we
maintain serenity throughout and grow in wisdom. While the
rest of my family chose darkness and despair over my
granddaddy’s death, his brother Lawrence, the “town drunk”
and the black sheep of the family chose life. He looked inward,
not outward. He didn’t blame anyone or hate them. And when
he made his peace with God and quit drinking, he reached out
to religion. Given the bum’s rush by respectable religion, he
found hope, love, and community among the outcasts.
Sounds like where I want to be. By God’s grace, let us take
our message of hope to alcoholics and addicts and practice our
principles not as dead dogma, but as living, breathing personal
principles built upon honesty and humility in all of our affairs.
Concerning Step 10, we need to be able to have the humility,
on an ongoing basis, to do a searching personal inventory and
admit where we are wrong. Lawrence did this. He stuck up his
hand for the rest of his life and admitted his character defects
and worked on improving them. That’s more than could be said
for the very respectable religious folks at the main church in
town. Their whole approach to God and life was to avoid any
admission of wrong, to keep up apearances. Consequently, their
spirituality degenerated into what can only be quite charitable
called a vulgar and unhealthy legalism. In the name of holiness
they threw out grace and forgiveness. Such toxic religion ony
feeds an addiction. Perhaps it was a tender mercy of God that
Lawrence experienced rejection by them. Acceptance would have
been worse.
wonder and mystery, we soon lose charity.
As I tell patients in lecture over and again, there is no shallow
end of the pool of spirituality. Spirituality, though it is founded
on free grace, does not come cheap. Its cost is a lifetime of daily
dedecation. Faith, to put it plainly, takes work.
Reflections: Reflections:
Reflections: Reflections: Reflections:
By Diantha Voge, M.S. MFT, PLMHP
Program Director in Training,
O’Neill Valley Hope
Cravings are a physiological and psychologi-
cal phenomenon that often occurs after the ces-
sation of drug and alcohol use. They are also a
programmed response to environmental sig-
Cravings
nals that have been connected to drug use through experience.
They can occur for months or years after the addict quits using.
They are extremely powerful and often lead to relapse. Cravings
occur in the brain where Dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the
brain in the reward center, is released when some drugs are in-
gested. Dopamine is associated with euphoria. Accustomed to
functioning in the presence of drugs, the addicted brain be-
comes unable to function normally without drugs present. Due
to this, sometimes it is difficult or nearly impossible for the ad-
dict to feel pleasure without using because the brain quits pro-
ducing Dopamine on its own. Therefore the addicted person
may crave the drug which, if used, would release dopamine and
therefore make the craving go away and presumably lead to feel-
ings of euphoria.
Cravings are a reality of addiction. They demand attention
and either will be surrendered to or can be dealt with using some
of the following techniques. There are four types of cravings:
reaction to withdrawal symptoms, escape of unpleasant feel-
ings, a response to learned associations (people, places) and en-
hancing a positive mood. During physical withdrawal, the body
craves the drug it was used to. Withdrawal symptoms depend
on the drug that the user was taking but can include: tremors,
anxiety, muscle aches, nausea, vomiting and exhaustion. Bore-
dom, depression and anxiety often cause cravings and are feel-
ings an addict/alcohol will seek to escape. Learned associations
may include places where the addict used, people they used
with and utensils associated with the use. Finally, when the ad-
dict is feeling good, happy or celebratory they may crave a
mood altering chemical to enhance their feelings.
The following tools can be effective in dealing with cravings.
First and foremost it is important to avoid people, locations and
things that the addict associated with using. Distraction can be
used in the form of taking a walk, video games, anything that
moves a person’s attention away from negative internal
thoughts and moves attention towards a neutral external focus.
Imagery can be useful and involves imagining a peaceful spot.
Conversely, if one craves when remembering the good times re-
lated to using, one can make an effort to replace those positive
thoughts with memories of the bad times when using (argu-
ments with loved ones, legal problems, occupational problems,
fear or guilt related to using, etc.). Another related technique is
thought checking - asking oneself, “Is what I’m thinking really
true?” and “What are the real consequences?” Relaxation tech-
niques can be useful. Anxiety, anger, frustration and stress are
among the biggest triggers for craving. Learning some relax-
ation techniques is important. Writing a gratitude list,
journaling, writing poetry, taking a bath, talking to someone in
recovery, calling a sponsor, attending an AA/NA meeting, prayer
and writing a letter to someone you love and telling them why
you want to be sober are some additional techniques to battle
cravings.
If one finds that they cannot manage cravings on their own,
it is time to seek professional help. There are many options for
drug and alcohol treatment, both inpatient and outpatient.
Drug and alcohol treatment helps an addicted person manage
cravings in productive ways and opens the door to a life where
cravings are not in control of one’s life.
Adi Jaffe Ph.D. All About Addiction
Alan Leshner Ph. D National Institute on Drug Abuse
Coping with Alcohol Cravings Online Alcohol Therapy
Lynn Colip, a physician from Norton, Kansas, and Bob Adams, a Methodist minister in Jennings changed
that. Long conversations at the Norton bowling alley where they played and talked and talked some
more, resulted in the idea that alcoholics could be treated, that they could recover – and that Northwest
Kansas needed its own program.
By: Jan Pogue
Western Kansas is a land of wide vistas and sweeping landscape. You can see to the horizon and you
just can’t ignore what you see. But a group of people – alcoholics – had been ignored for years. They
were thought to be a bunch of drunks who didn’t want help. Besides, no treatment would make a
difference.
Prairie Miracles, The History of the Valley Hope Association
This book will take you inside the facilities of Valley Hope Association, revealing the dreams of those such as Colip,
Adams, and the many others who followed in their footsteps as they charted treatment waters never before attempted in
Kansas. Prairie Miracles also traces the hopes of the individuals whose lives had often sunk so low as to be thought unsalvageable
and, just as importantly, their families who suffered in the wake of their loved ones’ destructive paths. All names used in this
story are used with permission in hopes that their story of recovery will help others turn their own lives around.
Prairie Miracles, The History of The Valley Hope Association is available for $14.95 at Valley Hope residential centers or
on our website, www.valleyhope.org For each book sold, $5.00 is being donated to the Valley Hope Association Foundation
to benefit patients who otherwise could not afford treatment. Valley Hope and the Foundation are not-for-profit organiza-
tions and your gifts help support our mission.
12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps
12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps
on the
on the
Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight
Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight
Steps Ten, Eleven and Twelve
environment, there was much hostility toward Lawrence. My
granddaddy probably thought what everybody thought, “Why
doesn’t Lawrence just repent of his sins and live like God intends
him to?”
I never got to know my granddaddy. Honest to goodness,
my earliest memory of anything is of his brass grave marker
being delivered to our house. I remember it sitting on the
floor just inside the front door. Mom said I was only two when
that happened. He was killed by a drunk driver. Granddaddy’s
death blighted my childhood. My grandmother locked herself
up in that remote house high on the hill and back in the woods
and became a recluse. Whenever the family would get together
up there, a lot of the talk would be on death and tragedy. My
Mom’s alcoholism got worse as she fell into a lifelong depression
over the loss of her dear father.
The young man who accidentally killed my grandfather was
just sixteen years old. But my family spoke his name like it
was Lee Harvey Oswald. He was coming home from a night of
drinking as my grandfather was headed out for work at the
paper mill. On those narrow, curving mountain roads, there’s
just nowhere to go if someone is in your lane. You can plunge
through the guardrail into the ether, crash into the rock wall of
the mountain, or take your chances hitting a vehicle head on.
That’s what happened to granddaddy. The young man emerged
from the wreck uninjured. My granddaddy was crushed by his
steering wheel.
A great good that came out of that tragedy was that
Lawrence swore off alcohol. He was so grieved at losing his
older brother, whom he greatly loved and admired, to the
“demon liquor” that he just stopped drinking. He straightened
up his life and started doing better. Then he put his Sunday
best on and went down to the very respectable Eagle Rock
Baptist Church. During the invitation, he went forward to
give his life to Christ and to request church membership. The
pastor took him aside after the service and told Lawrence that
he couldn’t be baptized and accepted into the church. He
was, after all, still known as the “town drunk.” He was not
respectable and probably never would be in view of all that he
had done that folks would never forget. So Lawrence left,
broken-hearted. That night, though, he went across the railroad
tracks to the holy roller church. They accepted him.
According to family tradition, Lawrence made good on his
promise never to drink again. They didn’t know about the
Twelve Steps back up in those hills in those days. I suppose he
just depended on God and white knuckled it the rest of his
life, motivated by the memory of his brother. Of course, it is
far better to depend on one’s Higher Power in the context of
the recovery community while continually working the Twelve
Step program. But Lawrence’s story is still instructive for Steps
10, 11, and 12 in many ways.
(Continued)
The Town Drunk
I was privileged to be asked to write a little bit about the
10, 11, and 12
th
Steps for this issue of The Coffee Cup. I’ve
been in ministry in various capacities for many years and in
that time have come back around to what I loved to do as a
boy because I was raised to do it. I tell stories. When I preach
now, I don’t get into theological abstractions; I just tell stories.
When I share with patients, I tell stories. I encourage patients
to tell their stories. And so, today, as I contemplate what on
earth to write, I suppose I’ll begin, and probably end, by telling
a story.
I am a hillbilly, one, maybe two depending on your
standards, generations removed from Appalachian mountain
poverty. Mom married up and I never had to know what it
was to be poor. Mom’s people were largely from in and around
Eagle Rock, Virginia. Granddaddy’s house sat back up on a
hill in a hollow reached by a narrow, steep road. At Christmas
when we’d go to visit, usually there would be ice or snow and
we’d just have to park at the bottom and walk up as best we
could, arms full of presents. Even with chains on your tires,
you would be a flatlander fool to attempt it. Only Santa Claus
got up there without hoofing it. There wasn’t but two houses
down that road, my granddaddy’s and my great Uncle
Lawrence’s place.
My granddaddy was a quiet, austere man, they tell me. He
and most of his brothers played bluegrass music. Mom still
has granddaddy’s banjo that he hand carved himself, gracing
it with mother of pearl inlays. He was a God-fearing man and
a hard worker who attended the very respectable Eagle Rock
Baptist church on Sunday mornings but would sneak out to
the holy roller church across the railroad tracks on Sunday
nights. His younger brother, Lawrence, was not of the same
caliber in the town’s eyes. Lawrence was the black sheep of
the family. He didn’t play bluegrass, didn’t go to church, didn’t
keep his place and property up, and was known as “the town
drunk.”
Mom tells me that a few times as a girl she witnessed my
granddaddy just get so frustrated with his drunken and
belligerent younger brother that he’d beat him up right there
in the road in front of the house and then throw him down the
steep bank into the woods. Mom said the family was very
embarrassed about Lawrence. You see, Virginia mountain
culture back then dictated that since everybody but the
mortician and the banker was poor, folks had to lift themselves
up with wealth of a different sort. So folks took pride in keeping
what they had clean and in decent running order. They took
pride in going to church and being good citizens, in raising
good families whose children might “do better.” In that sort of
12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps
12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps
on the
on the
Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight
Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight
Steps Ten, Eleven and Twelve
environment, there was much hostility toward Lawrence. My
granddaddy probably thought what everybody thought, “Why
doesn’t Lawrence just repent of his sins and live like God intends
him to?”
I never got to know my granddaddy. Honest to goodness,
my earliest memory of anything is of his brass grave marker
being delivered to our house. I remember it sitting on the
floor just inside the front door. Mom said I was only two when
that happened. He was killed by a drunk driver. Granddaddy’s
death blighted my childhood. My grandmother locked herself
up in that remote house high on the hill and back in the woods
and became a recluse. Whenever the family would get together
up there, a lot of the talk would be on death and tragedy. My
Mom’s alcoholism got worse as she fell into a lifelong depression
over the loss of her dear father.
The young man who accidentally killed my grandfather was
just sixteen years old. But my family spoke his name like it
was Lee Harvey Oswald. He was coming home from a night of
drinking as my grandfather was headed out for work at the
paper mill. On those narrow, curving mountain roads, there’s
just nowhere to go if someone is in your lane. You can plunge
through the guardrail into the ether, crash into the rock wall of
the mountain, or take your chances hitting a vehicle head on.
That’s what happened to granddaddy. The young man emerged
from the wreck uninjured. My granddaddy was crushed by his
steering wheel.
A great good that came out of that tragedy was that
Lawrence swore off alcohol. He was so grieved at losing his
older brother, whom he greatly loved and admired, to the
“demon liquor” that he just stopped drinking. He straightened
up his life and started doing better. Then he put his Sunday
best on and went down to the very respectable Eagle Rock
Baptist Church. During the invitation, he went forward to
give his life to Christ and to request church membership. The
pastor took him aside after the service and told Lawrence that
he couldn’t be baptized and accepted into the church. He
was, after all, still known as the “town drunk.” He was not
respectable and probably never would be in view of all that he
had done that folks would never forget. So Lawrence left,
broken-hearted. That night, though, he went across the railroad
tracks to the holy roller church. They accepted him.
According to family tradition, Lawrence made good on his
promise never to drink again. They didn’t know about the
Twelve Steps back up in those hills in those days. I suppose he
just depended on God and white knuckled it the rest of his
life, motivated by the memory of his brother. Of course, it is
far better to depend on one’s Higher Power in the context of
the recovery community while continually working the Twelve
Step program. But Lawrence’s story is still instructive for Steps
10, 11, and 12 in many ways.
(Continued)
The Town Drunk
I was privileged to be asked to write a little bit about the
10, 11, and 12
th
Steps for this issue of The Coffee Cup. I’ve
been in ministry in various capacities for many years and in
that time have come back around to what I loved to do as a
boy because I was raised to do it. I tell stories. When I preach
now, I don’t get into theological abstractions; I just tell stories.
When I share with patients, I tell stories. I encourage patients
to tell their stories. And so, today, as I contemplate what on
earth to write, I suppose I’ll begin, and probably end, by telling
a story.
I am a hillbilly, one, maybe two depending on your
standards, generations removed from Appalachian mountain
poverty. Mom married up and I never had to know what it
was to be poor. Mom’s people were largely from in and around
Eagle Rock, Virginia. Granddaddy’s house sat back up on a
hill in a hollow reached by a narrow, steep road. At Christmas
when we’d go to visit, usually there would be ice or snow and
we’d just have to park at the bottom and walk up as best we
could, arms full of presents. Even with chains on your tires,
you would be a flatlander fool to attempt it. Only Santa Claus
got up there without hoofing it. There wasn’t but two houses
down that road, my granddaddy’s and my great Uncle
Lawrence’s place.
My granddaddy was a quiet, austere man, they tell me. He
and most of his brothers played bluegrass music. Mom still
has granddaddy’s banjo that he hand carved himself, gracing
it with mother of pearl inlays. He was a God-fearing man and
a hard worker who attended the very respectable Eagle Rock
Baptist church on Sunday mornings but would sneak out to
the holy roller church across the railroad tracks on Sunday
nights. His younger brother, Lawrence, was not of the same
caliber in the town’s eyes. Lawrence was the black sheep of
the family. He didn’t play bluegrass, didn’t go to church, didn’t
keep his place and property up, and was known as “the town
drunk.”
Mom tells me that a few times as a girl she witnessed my
granddaddy just get so frustrated with his drunken and
belligerent younger brother that he’d beat him up right there
in the road in front of the house and then throw him down the
steep bank into the woods. Mom said the family was very
embarrassed about Lawrence. You see, Virginia mountain
culture back then dictated that since everybody but the
mortician and the banker was poor, folks had to lift themselves
up with wealth of a different sort. So folks took pride in keeping
what they had clean and in decent running order. They took
pride in going to church and being good citizens, in raising
good families whose children might “do better.” In that sort of
12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps
12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps 12 Steps
on the
on the
Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight
Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight Spotlight
Steps Ten, Eleven and Twelve
environment, there was much hostility toward Lawrence. My
granddaddy probably thought what everybody thought, “Why
doesn’t Lawrence just repent of his sins and live like God intends
him to?”
I never got to know my granddaddy. Honest to goodness,
my earliest memory of anything is of his brass grave marker
being delivered to our house. I remember it sitting on the
floor just inside the front door. Mom said I was only two when
that happened. He was killed by a drunk driver. Granddaddy’s
death blighted my childhood. My grandmother locked herself
up in that remote house high on the hill and back in the woods
and became a recluse. Whenever the family would get together
up there, a lot of the talk would be on death and tragedy. My
Mom’s alcoholism got worse as she fell into a lifelong depression
over the loss of her dear father.
The young man who accidentally killed my grandfather was
just sixteen years old. But my family spoke his name like it
was Lee Harvey Oswald. He was coming home from a night of
drinking as my grandfather was headed out for work at the
paper mill. On those narrow, curving mountain roads, there’s
just nowhere to go if someone is in your lane. You can plunge
through the guardrail into the ether, crash into the rock wall of
the mountain, or take your chances hitting a vehicle head on.
That’s what happened to granddaddy. The young man emerged
from the wreck uninjured. My granddaddy was crushed by his
steering wheel.
A great good that came out of that tragedy was that
Lawrence swore off alcohol. He was so grieved at losing his
older brother, whom he greatly loved and admired, to the
“demon liquor” that he just stopped drinking. He straightened
up his life and started doing better. Then he put his Sunday
best on and went down to the very respectable Eagle Rock
Baptist Church. During the invitation, he went forward to
give his life to Christ and to request church membership. The
pastor took him aside after the service and told Lawrence that
he couldn’t be baptized and accepted into the church. He
was, after all, still known as the “town drunk.” He was not
respectable and probably never would be in view of all that he
had done that folks would never forget. So Lawrence left,
broken-hearted. That night, though, he went across the railroad
tracks to the holy roller church. They accepted him.
According to family tradition, Lawrence made good on his
promise never to drink again. They didn’t know about the
Twelve Steps back up in those hills in those days. I suppose he
just depended on God and white knuckled it the rest of his
life, motivated by the memory of his brother. Of course, it is
far better to depend on one’s Higher Power in the context of
the recovery community while continually working the Twelve
Step program. But Lawrence’s story is still instructive for Steps
10, 11, and 12 in many ways.
(Continued)
The Town Drunk
I was privileged to be asked to write a little bit about the
10, 11, and 12
th
Steps for this issue of The Coffee Cup. I’ve
been in ministry in various capacities for many years and in
that time have come back around to what I loved to do as a
boy because I was raised to do it. I tell stories. When I preach
now, I don’t get into theological abstractions; I just tell stories.
When I share with patients, I tell stories. I encourage patients
to tell their stories. And so, today, as I contemplate what on
earth to write, I suppose I’ll begin, and probably end, by telling
a story.
I am a hillbilly, one, maybe two depending on your
standards, generations removed from Appalachian mountain
poverty. Mom married up and I never had to know what it
was to be poor. Mom’s people were largely from in and around
Eagle Rock, Virginia. Granddaddy’s house sat back up on a
hill in a hollow reached by a narrow, steep road. At Christmas
when we’d go to visit, usually there would be ice or snow and
we’d just have to park at the bottom and walk up as best we
could, arms full of presents. Even with chains on your tires,
you would be a flatlander fool to attempt it. Only Santa Claus
got up there without hoofing it. There wasn’t but two houses
down that road, my granddaddy’s and my great Uncle
Lawrence’s place.
My granddaddy was a quiet, austere man, they tell me. He
and most of his brothers played bluegrass music. Mom still
has granddaddy’s banjo that he hand carved himself, gracing
it with mother of pearl inlays. He was a God-fearing man and
a hard worker who attended the very respectable Eagle Rock
Baptist church on Sunday mornings but would sneak out to
the holy roller church across the railroad tracks on Sunday
nights. His younger brother, Lawrence, was not of the same
caliber in the town’s eyes. Lawrence was the black sheep of
the family. He didn’t play bluegrass, didn’t go to church, didn’t
keep his place and property up, and was known as “the town
drunk.”
Mom tells me that a few times as a girl she witnessed my
granddaddy just get so frustrated with his drunken and
belligerent younger brother that he’d beat him up right there
in the road in front of the house and then throw him down the
steep bank into the woods. Mom said the family was very
embarrassed about Lawrence. You see, Virginia mountain
culture back then dictated that since everybody but the
mortician and the banker was poor, folks had to lift themselves
up with wealth of a different sort. So folks took pride in keeping
what they had clean and in decent running order. They took
pride in going to church and being good citizens, in raising
good families whose children might “do better.” In that sort of
By: Chaplain Bill K., Chandler Valley Hope
The Enemy Within
Recovery is simple, but not easy. One of the simple truths
about getting clean and sober is that we cannot afford to
harbor fear and worry, resentment, guilt and shame. So-
called “normies” are able to safely covet such ill feelings; we
in recovery do not have the luxury. What to do? Life is full of
all the above. This is where Step Four and Step Five come in.
Taking our moral inventory, sharing our inventory with God
and another person, these two steps deal directly with fear
and worry, resentment, guilt and shame.
I have worked with many patients during my years at
Chandler Valley Hope. Experiences here at Chandler and my
prior military career, have taught me to clearly identify the
objective, the enemy between myself and the objective, and
finally identifying how to defeat that adversary. The objec-
tive is sobriety in this context. The enemy is the disease of
alcoholism/addiction. In the past I attempted to battle my
disease alone. Over and over I found myself vanquished, bro-
ken, and even hopeless. Finally I came to seek an ally in Alco-
holics Anonymous. My newfound fellowship came with a
proven strategic plan, the Twelve Steps. The first Three Steps
(1) taught me to Admit, (2) gave me Hope, and (3) called me
to Action.
Steps Four and Five brought me face to face with one of
the most challenging missions of my conflict with alcohol-
ism. The moral inventory of step four requires every bit of
willingness we can muster. Getting honest with oneself re-
quires a great courage, maybe the greatest of all. The process
is a journey deep inside to some long covered over dark and
distressing corners, layered with the dust of denial. Step Four
is a journey to places known only to two: my disease and me.
Not only do I reside within me, but so also lives my disease.
My alcoholism holds a lifetime deed to a place in my head, a
fact I finally came to accept. Unfortunately, the disease
knows all the secrets of my life both pleasant and unpleasant.
Being enemy to my sobriety and serenity, my disease will not
hesitate to use dark memories as emotional weapons. My al-
coholism is a ruthless opponent ever patient, ever deter-
mined and vigilant, watchful for my vulnerable moments.
We face a dedicated sentry never asleep on duty.
Initially in this article I identified feelings that can be very
harmful for those of us in recovery. Unfortunately, the dis-
ease in my head has learned to weaponize fear and worry,
resentment, guilt and shame. I personally picture a stockpile
of emotional clubs, primitive but very effective. There is
nothing of new technology in that arsenal, just old reliable
internal strife.
The disease has all the time in my world and when I ap-
pear fragile or in the midst of challenging times, the disease
will seize upon the moment, grasp a club and begin emotion-
ally beating me. For example, remembrance of past guilt may
appear in my consciousness. Thoughts begin a destructive,
repetitive attack upon my spirit. With each thought occur-
rence and painful play of the guilt-ridden tape, the wounds
become more and more raw, and with each swing of the club
the pain increases. As the torment becomes unbearable I seek
relief. The disease seductively whispers,’ reminding me of an
old familiar pain medication, the elixir awaits.
At this point in the discussion the inevitable question
arises. Is that why we drink and use, because of fear, worry,
resentment, guilt and shame? No. We drink and use because
we are alcoholics or addicts, no excuses. For once I begin to
take up excuses; I can devise any number of reasons from stub-
bing my toe, to a death in the family. We drink or use because
we are alcoholics or addicts. That’s what we do. That’s what
alcoholics and addicts do. In our disease, we drink and use,
period, unless we are in recovery. Like the diabetic who is not
taking care and doing what is prescribed, their blood sugar can
rise, complications begin and illness or death can follow. All of
these terrible afflictions follow unless the diabetic is in recovery.
Like the diabetic, we must remain in daily recovery or we use.
We cannot remove our enemy. We cannot annihilate our
opponent with direct force on force action. We can, however,
attack and begin destroying the weapons the disease uses
against us. We begin to eliminate the enemy’s weapons supply
with Steps Four and Five. Will a Fifth Step remove all traces of
guilt, all resentment? The answer for most of us is not com-
pletely. The process does, however, begin the healing.
During a patient’s fifth step I am there to remind the person
of two things: First, we are not what we do, we are who we are,
children of a loving Creator; secondly, I am there to remind
them that the Love of the Creator/Higher Power/ God is uncon-
ditional.
Now some feel the steps, especially the self-forgiveness di-
mension, is a “cop out,” “letting myself off the hook.” No. The
Steps are the responsible actions for recovery to include forgive-
ness of self. Many of us are capable and even willing to forgive
others, but ourselves is another story. Remember, by not begin-
ning the process of self-forgiveness, we leave a powerful weapon
on the table: Guilt. The disease will quickly snatch up the prize.
Steps Four and Five are not primarily about making us feel
better. No, four and five are about taking the responsible action
for recovery, removing the diabolical power the disease wields
over us. A most welcome collateral effect is that most of us will
feel better following Step Five. These critical steps are about
responsible action to neutralize my enemy’s weapons. By re-
ducing the emotional firepower of my disease, I go a long way to
breaking the enemy’s hold over me. The objective of sobriety
becomes much more likely and hope begins anew.
In my experience the battle comparison and language has
helped a great many to identify the disease at work even though
we cannot see our enemy. The affliction is brought out of the
realm of stealth and back on the to the radar screen of some
individual understanding. During the Cold War, the old Soviet
Union undoubtedly knew at some point prior to official US
announcement that we were perfecting stealth technology. A
formidable enemy is of concern. A very formidable enemy you
cannot see is indeed frightening. Through steps four and five we
begin to deny the enemy use of weapons against us. By the way,
these weapons are actually carried to the battle by us. The
choice not to bring them to the fight is ours. With Steps Four
and Five we move from the paralyzing realm of helplessness to
hopeful action and eventually to some humble confidence. We,
however, must take the steps.
By Dee Munsen, LAC
Community Service Clinician
This is my favorite time of the year! With the birds
chirping and the flowers blooming, you know warm
weather is on its way as well as good things for Valley
Hope. Some new things and some traditional!
Last year, many of the staff members joined in the
fight to stop cancer. We walked, donated and/or gathered
donations for the cause. It was very rewarding as we
shared memories of how cancer has touched our lives, as a
Survivor or as a family/friend. (We work with several
Survivors.) What an honor to be a part of such important
part in their journey. I am happy to say that the Valley
Hope staff has joined in the “Relay for Life” again this
year.
To add to our traditions, The Don Duncan Alumni
vs Patients Softball Game will be held again on July
20
th
, 2013 at 2:00 pm @ 8
th
and Riley Ball Park. Fol-
lowing the game, the alumni will host a wonderful BBQ at
the Center. It is also Amelia Earhart weekend!! There
will be carnival rides, fabulous food and arts/crafts. Satur-
day night sit back and enjoy a beautiful airshow followed by the
most spectacular fireworks you’ve ever seen!! Having fun is an
important part of recovery and I can’t think of a better way to
do it than participating in this event and sharing it with those
who need a little laughter. This is a day of fun, love and remem-
brance of just that! BRING YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR
GLOVE!!
A AA AA
T TT TT
C CC CC
H HH HH
I II II
S SS SS
O OO OO
N NN NN
Letters From Home: Letters From Home:
Letters From Home: Letters From Home: Letters From Home:
Letters From Home: Letters From Home:
Letters From Home: Letters From Home: Letters From Home:
By: Amanda Shewey, BS, LACCounselor
My name is Amanda Shewey (Christian Shewey’s wife). My
first day at Atchison Valley Hope was 3/18/13. Since that first
faithful day, I have learned a great many things while being
employed by this enthusiastic company. The first is; it’s okay
to be new and learning. Support is always around the corner
(literally there is a counselor around every corner) and that
talking with your peers/patients does not have to be this cold
clinical approach. I feel like I can make a difference in people’s
lives again. Christian knew that I was destined to be a wonder-
ful counselor, and with God’s help that is exactly my goal. The
staff members are genuine, loving and kind. They truly mean it
when they say they love you, or that they care about your fu-
ture.
I would like to share a poem that has been a personal favor-
ite, and I believe that it sums up my experiences thus far, while
at Valley Hope.
Chaplin Marla will be missed here at the Atchison Valley
Hope facility! She has touched the hearts of many patients
and co-workers with her genuine love for people and God that
has shown through daily. The twinkle of hope in her eyes gave
many the encouragements they needed to pull through tough
times they had been facing and begin the steps in forgiving
themselves. We know where ever your journey takes you Marla,
many lives will be blessed!
We are sad that Chaplain Marla
will be leaving us and blessed to wel-
come new counselor Amanda Shewey,
the wife of Christian Shewey, to the
center. We are also excited that coun-
selor Dillan Soph is back with us!
Don’t forget Renewal Day is the 3
rd
Friday of the month. Come say Hi, let
us know how you’re doing. Share your
Counselor Amanda
and Counselor Dillan
strength and hope to the patients getting ready to leave.
While you’re here don’t forget to stop by the kitchen and
grab a cookie and a glass of chocolate milk!
Grateful
We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise;
And then, if we are true to plan,
Our statures touch the skies—
Wishing Marla Blessings!
C CC CC
U UU UU
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I II II
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G GG GG
If Nothing Changes Nothing Changes
By: Bill A., ICADC
Counselor, Cushing Valley Hope
Just as we go through the four seasons of spring, sum-
mer, fall and winter, the cycle begins again. We have ex-
perienced great turning points in our recovery and our
lives. Our recovery has pointed us towards the light and
we become spiritually alive again. We may not be able to
name or describe the change until it’s in the past. Our
growth in the program frees us in ways we never would
have imagined. The book tells us that “Faith without
works is dead” and my sponsor tells me “Willingness
without action is fantasy.” This action may be as simple
as putting one foot in front of the other or as humble as
getting down on my knees. Whatever decision we face or
choices we make, bring the changes in our lives. Some
may not be as pleasant as others but they will be different.
agement from the others that travel this road of recovery. I look
forward to meeting you again as we pass on our journeys.
Thank You Valley Hope for the change in me that you started
January 26, 1991.
Jan celebrates 30 years with Cushing Valley Hope
The Heroism we recite
Would be a daily thing,
Did not ourselves the Cubits warp
For fear to be a King—
-by Emily Dickinson
As change is constant in my life today I have hope and encour-
Greetings From Oklahoma City
By: Zac F., LAC
Outpatient Program Director
Greetings to all Valley Hope alumni from Oklahoma City and be-
yond! We pray you are all well in your recovery and that you are finding
daily reprieve from your addiction through a power greater than yourself.
I am an alumnus of the Valley Hope inpatient center in Norton, Kan-
sas. I recall sitting in a lecture in May 2005 and being told there were
only two things that I needed in life to stay clean and sober. I sat in my
seat in anticipation. The answer was not what I’d expected. The lecture
presenter wrote on the board and those words have been with me ever
since: 1) God and 2) People. The 12 Steps have introduced me to the
God of my understanding and reconciled me to the people around me
and encouraged me to reach out to other people. Truly God and people
are all I have needed to stay sober and clean and it can be a wonderful
journey.
At Oklahoma City Valley Hope we continue to strive to help others
find recovery in their lives from their addictions and hope to guide them
to find their Higher Power and connect with people who will help them
to stay clean and sober. Jon Penoi, counselor, and Karen Matthews, Ad-
ministrative Assistant, recently joined us and we are very excited to have
them on board our team!
We continue to hold our Renewal Night the first Tuesday of every
month from 6 to 8 p.m. Please come and join us for fellowship time
followed by a speaker. We have had some excellent speakers share their
experience, strength, and hope. May the God of your understanding and
those around you guide and protect you in your recovery journey!
(Cushing continued)
By: Tereasa S.
I was thinking about how I should
decorate my cup. I kept thinking about
the movie, The Wizard of Oz and the
Serenity Prayer.
The tornado scene in the movie was
both terrifying and exciting to watch.
At six years old I thought the only de-
struction caused was physical. Now
in recovery, I know the destruction I
My Cup
caused from my tornadic life was both
physical and emotional.
Like acceptance, courage and wisdom
in the serenity prayer, Dorothy had
to accept the fact that she was not in
Kansas any more. I had to accept the
fact that I am an addict and an alco-
holic and that is something I cannot
change.
The lion had to find the courage to
do what lions do in the forest. I had
to find the courage to go to treatment
in order to change the things I can.
The scarecrow wanted a brain so he
would have wisdom. I needed wisdom
so I would know the difference between
making right and wrong decisions.
The tin man wanted a heart because he
could not feel his emotions. I know I
found my heart again because I can feel
the pain and hurt that I caused my fam-
ily.
Lastly, I know that Valley Hope is my
Emerald City and that by working the
steps I will be led down the yellow brick
road to my recovery.
Tami Anderson, BA ICADC
Community Service Clinician
About two years ago, two very special people came into my
life. A young man named Zak and his mom Alisha. If you
remember a while back, I wrote a story about an 11 year old
young man that lost his father to addiction, and was going to
restore a 1972 Chevy Truck, like the one his father had, to
show in car shows. His mission is to raise money to help
those in need of treatment that may not be able to afford it,
and help raise awareness about the disease of addiction. I
remember one of the first things that Zak said when I first
Zak’s Mission Continues Strong
ary in Tulsa. Our Program Director, Mike Miller and I were
fortunate enough to go to the car show. WOW! The truck is
amazing! I felt so proud of Zak and was completely over-
whelmed! The truck is strikingly beautiful with gorgeous de-
tail, inside and out, with pictures of Zak and his father and
the Valley Hope logo. There are just not enough words of
gratitude to thank Zak, his mom Alisha and David for all of
their hard work. And I hope everyone has the opportunity
to see Zak’s truck. You can follow Zak on his website,
www.boysmission72chevytruck.com, or on Face Book, Zak’s
Mission.
Zak’s first vehicle Zak’s first car show
met him, “I want to do all that I can so no
other boy or girl will have to go through los-
ing a parent because of addiction.” Of course
my heart was touched. I’ve watched this
young man grow and his passion only con-
tinues to be greater and greater. His mom
is one of his biggest fans and has been right
by his side.
It has been two years and the truck is
complete! His first car show was in Febru-
G GG GG
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Hello All Alumni
By: Troy Tice, MA, LPC,
Program Director
Hello all alumni and family members of
Grapevine Valley Hope,
I would like to encourage everyone to re-
connect with Grapevine Valley Hope and
our growing alumni group. There is a sense
of excitement at Grapevine because our
alumni are becoming more and more in-
volved in the recovery community. There is
now an alumni softball team and there are
upcoming tournaments versus alumni from
other treatment centers in in the Dallas Fort
Worth Area. There are events that are
posted on a monthly basis which include
activities for family members and alumni to
be engaged.
It always bolsters the morale of new pa-
tients to see returning patients with sobri-
ety. Please remember that all alumni are
encouraged to attend Renewal Day on the last Fri-
day of each month. Attendance continues to grow
with great satisfaction for alumni and staff. I again
encourage each to please come visit us.
Editorial Committee:
Megan O’Connor, Lydia Iacobucci,
Kacie Boydston and Keri Vanover
Coffee Cup
Volume 45 Edition 3
By: Stephen Conrad, MSW Chaplain
A warm greeting to you all from Moundridge Valley
Hope! The long, cold winter can’t chill the signs of spring
breaking out all around- the miracle of the growth that
seems hidden sometimes but is quietly THERE.
There are a lot of things going on here; I’ll let you
know some of the most important:
Renewal Days continue to be times of fun and
encouragement as folks return to celebrate birthdays with
us- in January, Vincent C., Eldon T., Wade S., Kent B.,
Justin W., Jeremy C., and Max B. received their coffee
cup for a year clean and sober. Vincent C. and Ross J.
celebrated two years. And Harold T. celebrated ten years!
In February: Charles L. got his coffee cup; and in
March: Harvey B. got his cup. Congratulations all!
Please join us for Renewal Day each month- you’ll
find information about Renewal Days times and
schedules on the Friends and Alumni link on
www.ValleyHope.com.
New Program Director: Mike Grover was cajoled to
leave beautiful Colorado, where he’d been Program
Director at Parker Valley Hope, and return to Kansas. I
met Mike at Halstead Valley Hope where he was Program
Director in Training and I was a green chaplain. Welcome
Congratulations to Moundridge Valley Hope staff! We were
picked by Oxford Houses of Wichita as the Treatment Center of
the Year and given the award at their banquet on Saturday. This
award is shared by all staff as every Moundridge Valley Hope
employee is important in making our center a good place for
people looking for help – from nurses to dietary to counselors to
chaplains to housekeeping to office staff to maintenance and all
the help and direction we get from Norton. Each one of us
makes a difference one patient at a time.
Also, congratulations to Lorna who was chosen Counselor of
the Year by Oxford Houses of Wichita. Way to go! Woo Hoo!
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A Warm Greeting
Mike! Stop by and meet him sometime.
Hello and Goodbye: Counselor Stephanie headed on to
other opportunities; Counselor Julie has taken the AC/ESS and
Family Counselor position, Program Director in Training Claudia
has decided to return as Counselor to Cushing Valley Hope and
there have been other changes. What stays is the commitment
to helping folks the best way we know how.
Fall Welcome Home Party: Plans are underway for another
active, fun, and meaningful party scheduled for Saturday,
September 21. Plan to come and join in. As one of the local
music-makers I’ve been thinking an “American Idol” or “The
Voice” type contest would be a hoot- maybe even prizes for
winners (although anyone who shows up and tries is a winner!).
Chris Bencken, Alcia Landrum, Mike Grover,
Linda Likes, Ryan Culver and Lorna Stoecklin
Linda Likes andMike Grover
Lorna receives
Counselor Award
Alicia Landrum, BA LAC
Outpatient Program Director
It has been a year since we finished the remodeling of our
building and we love seeing our patients come hang out in
our coffee shop to work online, study, watch TV or just to
chat and socialize. The remodeled space has really made
Wichita Valley Hope a more inviting, warm environment
for everyone. Speaking of inviting, we would really like to
build our alumni involvement at Wichita Valley Hope! It
always brightens our day to see alumni stop by and catch
up with us. We would really like to see you all more and to
encourage patients to return. We will soon be starting our
own monthly Renewal Day! The celebration kicks off on
the third Wednesday of the month starting at 6:00 p.m.
We will have an alumni small group in the café and former
patients can come back to receive the cup they made while
in Intensive Ouptatient treatment, or a Valley Hope Cof-
fee Cup for each additional year they have maintained so-
briety on their sobriety date. A panel discussion will also
be held for current Intensive Outpatient patients. We know
that your experience, strength, and hope can help those
Calling All Wichita Alumni
who are new to the program see that long term recovery is
possible. We will have refreshments, drinks, and time for
fellowship. Please join us!
Moundridge Receives Awards
If your address needs to be updated or if you wish to be
removed from the subscription list, please call us at
1-800-654-0486 or e-mail
[email protected]
The Valley Hope Coffee Cup newsletter is published quarterly
by the Valley Hope
Association Editorial Committee
P.O. Box 510
Norton, KS 67654
and they deserve a pat on the back. We welcome new board
members Betty Nothnagel, Phil Wurm, Sharleen Wurm and
Ron Zwickle. Their compassion for Norton Valley Hope and its
patients is evident in their commitment to this project.
Don’t forget our upcoming events. The Norton Valley Hope
annual June Cookout is Friday June 14. Plan to join us that day
for renewal and for a delicious grilled meal. Come one, come
all. And the Alkathon is fast approaching as well. We hope you
can spend Saturday August 17
th
with us for the annual celebra-
tion.
I hope this edition of the Coffee Cup finds you well. Best
wishes from all of us at Norton.
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Our long-time Program Director, Elizabeth Burns,
passed away recently of complications from cancer.
How do I memorialize a woman who was so enigmatic
as Dr. Burns? Maybe I could talk about the kind of
boss she was; or maybe I could talk about her stiletto-
like sense of humor; or maybe I could talk about the
courage she exhibited in battling her cancer for so long.
Each one of those stories would give the reader a hint
of the person Elizabeth Burns was, but it would only
be one facet of a much more complex diamond. I think
I’d like to share a story one of my bosses told me. Of
course, names will not be used, but you’ll still get the
point.
Recently, if you can believe it, we were dealing with
a rather difficult patient. This patient was most cer-
tainly an alcoholic/addict, but they had “other issues”
as well – issues which made it necessary for us to trans-
fer this patient to a different kind of facility. In read-
ing Elizabeth’s notes about this episode, I was struck
In Loving Memory of Elizabeth Burns
by how much she cared – genuinely cared – about this pa-
tient. Her notes were clinical, to be sure — Elizabeth took
pride in her PhD in psychology and would never put “less-
than-professional” notes in a patient’s chart – but love was
also evident in what she wrote. At the end of one of her
notes, Elizabeth made the comment by which I hope to re-
member her forever: The patient knew they had to work on
some other things, but they didn’t want to lose track of their
addiction; and with that in mind asked if they could pur-
chase an AA Big Book. As it turns out, we were out of Big
Books that day, so Elizabeth gave her copy to this patient.
And that is how I want to memorialize, and remember,
Dr. Elizabeth Burns.
~Scott Ehrlich, M.Div.
Chaplain, Boonville Valley Hope
Boonville Valley Hope
Anniversary Round Up
Saturday – August 10
1PM Knights of Columbus Hall
Music, Food, Speakers, Celebration
Round and About Norton
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Larry Black, MS LCAC, Program Director
It’s time for another letter from home. This is being
written at the end (I hope) of what has seemed like a
very long winter. Warmer weather, longer days and some
sunshine are wonderful remedies to get rid of those win-
ter doldrums.
I want to use this time to throw in a reminder about
renewal. If you haven’t been to a renewal day for a while,
maybe now is the time to plan to attend. Throughout
2013, our renewal days have been remarkable in a num-
ber of ways. Attendance has been terrific, with 50 or
more people in attendance. The white board has been
filled with names of people celebrating birthdays, and
the feeling of homecoming permeates the atmosphere. So if you
haven’t been back for a while, come and join us.
Some positive changes are taking place in the looks of the
facility as well. The lecture hall remodeling is complete and by
the time this comes out, the new recovery rooms will be in use as
well. This will give us 6 more recovery room beds so we can
avoid bottlenecks and can help as many people as possible. We
have some other ideas in the works for dressing up the facility.
We will keep you up to date.
Now, the big announcement. Mark your calendar now for
Saturday September 14. That’s the date of the first annual
Norton Valley Hope fun run and walk. HOPE RUNS IN THE
VALLEY will take place in Norton and is open to everyone of all
ages and from all walks of life. September is “Recovery Month”
and this event should be a great way to celebrate by bringing
together recovering people, their families, and friends along with
people from throughout the Norton area. All money generated
from the event will go to help patients pay for their treatment
experience at Valley Hope. If you would like to help in anyway
with the planning or running of the event, please let us know.
Norton Valley Hope has a very active and enthusiastic Hope
Builders Board. They are the driving force behind this event
Counselor Dane
and Dave R. celebrat-
ing one year
Counselor Ray and
Wink celebrating 6
years
Counselor Scott and
Wayne F., celebrating one
year
By: Mary Fran Simons, Chaplain
Last Thursday sitting in the Lecture Hall at Chan-
dler Valley Hope, I felt the power and the miracle
that is Chandler Valley Hope. Seven unique indi-
viduals hung their cup, having completed the first
stage of their long journey into recovery.
As each person spoke in his/her unique way, the
love and fellowship that is the program of AA was
manifested. Strong men risking to show their emo-
tions through words and tears; shy, timid girls, who
could never talk before a group, speaking out and
smiling; a young father, holding his new born child,
as a toddler clings to his leg in adoration and de-
light, all bring tears of joy to myself and many oth-
ers sitting there.
When friends ask me why I don’t retire from serv-
ing as a chaplain in Chandler Valley Hope, after be-
ing here over 25 years and having the privilege of
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A Reflection
Save the Date
Chandler/Tempe Round Up
Saturday - September 28, 2013
Music, Food, Speaker,
Medallion Celebration,
Kid Zone
working with patient #1, I often reply that I love what I
do.
An individual, who often feels broken and ashamed, fear-
fully comes into treatment after struggling on his/her own
to stop using or drinking and simply cannot do so. What
courage it takes for this person to sit with another human
who calls him/herself either a chaplain or a counselor, and
to be asked to speak what he/she is feeling.
As trust grows, the miracle starts to take place. The
persons in treatment find one another and start to share.
Trust continues to grow and recovery happens.
Being part of a team that tirelessly and generously gives
of themselves in this process is a call and a challenge. This
is a call to love and all that love involves. The spirituality
of the AA Program is lived each day. The human realness
that AA espouses calls us to be honest, open, and willing.
Not perfectly, for sure, but the honest attempt bears rich
fruit.
So, for now, I do not retire because I find God here at
Chandler Valley Hope. God who is Love and, as I have
learned and experienced, “Where two or more are gath-
ered in love, there is God.”
FYI
You can read the Coffee Cup on l i ne at
www.valleyhope.org if you prefer to not receive a hard
copy and view it online, we will remove your name from
the Coffee Cup mailing list, or if you wish to be removed
from the subscription list. please call us at 800-654-0486
or e-mail us at [email protected].
Michael R. Japenga, B.A., M. Div., LSAT.,
Counselor
When I get honest, I admit that I am a bundle of paradoxes. I
believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel
bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trust-
ing and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games. Aristotle said I
am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity
for beer.
To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light
side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side, I learn who I am and
what God’s grace means. As Thomas Merton put it, “A saint is not
someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God.”
Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning, p. 24-25
(Brennan Manning is a former Catholic priest who came into
the full bloom of his alcoholism while serving as a priest. He
spent years in self-condemnation…how could a “man of God”
become an alcoholic? He found sobriety, self-acceptance, and
deeper understanding of Grace via treatment and Alcoholics
Anonymous. His alcoholism and recovery helped shape signifi-
cant changes in his ministry and just what “Grace” really means…
not just for the head, but for the heart.)
I have referenced this quote from time to time when meeting
with patients who are especially self-condemning concerning
“ugly truths” about themselves. For many, the disease of addic-
tion can be experienced as an ugly truth. Many of our patients
remain consumed by the disease of addiction because they can-
Letter From Tempe
not let go of the shame that binds them. Too often addiction is
perceived by those who suffer (and others) as a “sin” and/or
character defect. We believe it is not. I agree with the Big Book
that resentments are the #1 obstacle to recovery. I would argue
that shame is #1B.
I am fond of the euphemism, “I cannot change anything about
myself that I don’t accept as being true.” Acceptance is not always
easy, nor is change at times. I would like others to see only the
wonderful things about me. However, this does not tell the full
story of my life or who I am. Truly, part of our being and our
journey is our “shadow side.” No need to pretend otherwise. I
have found my greatest spiritual and emotional growth (and
resulting reduction in my hypocrisy levels!) when I stopped pre-
tending and started accepting.
Step 1 leads us to admit that we have a problem (with what-
ever). As we know, this does not necessarily entail acceptance.
Admittance is a matter of the head. Acceptance is a matter of
the heart. When we realize that our lives are paradoxical and
don’t always make sense, we can free ourselves to experience
Grace. Grace is a gift. It is not something that is earned. Grace
most deeply meets us at the very point of our failure and hy-
pocrisy. It is often not as intimately experienced in our shining
moments or in our perceived strengths. The 12 Steps and Re-
covery are testaments to Grace. It is spring time brothers and
sisters! May we all experience a renewal and rejuvenation of
God’s grace… in recovery and in daily life. Peace to you.
BBQ, Live Music
Speakers, Cups and Medallions
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Omaha Valley Hope has spent the past quarter welcoming
lots of new patients from residential treatment into our growing
Continuing Care groups! The fellowship of our alumni meets
at the monthly Renewal Nights and celebrates recovery with
the speakers and a potluck dinner. Recent speakers included:
Morrie H., Kirsten T., Natalie S., Charlie P., and Pete W. Thank
you all for sharing your stories and encouragement to others in
early sobriety. As the alumni fellowship grows, please let us
know if you are interested in being a contact for the newer pa-
tients leaving residential or Intensive Outpatient. Many need
support in going to that first meeting or just someone to talk to
until they find a sponsor.
We are planning different Renewal Night activities through-
out the summer, so stop by and meet the staff, let us know how
you are doing in your recovery, and get involved with the alumni
group. We will leave you with the message from the parent of a
recent Intensive Outpatient graduate:
Dear Omaha Valley Hope,
When my daughter asked for help for her alcohol and drug
addiction, we did not know where to turn. Our doctor suggested con-
tacting you, Michelle answered the phone on a Monday afternoon, got
us in for an appointment the next day, and our daughter started
Intensive Outpatient on that Wednesday night. We attended the Fam-
ily night sessions each Friday and always felt at home and welcomed
by each of your staff. The information that was in the lectures seemed
custom written for our family. Thank you!
It has been a few weeks since she completed treatment, is active in
AA, has a Valley Hope graduate as her sponsor, and has never been
happier! We don’t know how we can ever express our gratitude for
your program, your kindnesses to her, and for showing such compas-
sion to each of the clients that came through the doors each week. There
was just something magical happening in that building and we wanted
to let you know the positive effects your work has on families! Thank
you again, from our family.
News From Omaha By: Sally Stephens, BS, LADC, Outpatient Program
Send checks to: O’Neill Valley Hope
C/O Valley Hope Ride P.O. Box 918 O’Neill, NE 68763
Monte Miller, BS LADC, Program Director
Wow! What a wonderful spring it has been. Renewal
Days have been awesome with lots of people attend-
ing. Our April Renewal Day was inspiring to both pa-
tients and staff members, with “standing room only”.
We had many people celebrating 1 year and a group
celebrating 10 years. One of the important things that
happen at Renewal Day is that people get that “feel-
ing.” You know the one. It’s that feeling of rejuvena-
tion and a positive energy. It’s the kind of feeling that
everything is going to be okay. It’s that feeling of love
and a feeling that is an integral part of our treatment.
Truly, the love is the Valley Hope way. One of the fella’s
that was here to pick up his 10 year cup commented to
Greetings From O’Neill
me that he could “feel it” as he walked onto the grounds. He
could feel it in the air; he could feel it in the patient group.
He could feel it and he was grateful for that. I heard, “They
are doing some good treatment at O’Neill.” I’ve traveled
around the state recently talking to people and I hear those
words nearly everywhere I go. Please join us for Renewal Day
or stop by for a visit anytime. Be sure to plan on having some
fun with us during the Motorcycle Ride fundraiser in June
and in August at our Annual Reunion. We’ll also be hosting
our annual golf tournament in O Neill at the finest 9 hole
course in the Midwest. From all of us at O’Neill Valley Hope,
thank you for all your support.
Join Us On Our 4th Annual
O’Neill Valley Hope
Pre-registration $25.00 (shirt included if pre-
registered by May 8th) or $30 day of event
Name
Address
City State
Phone
Shirt Size
Ride Thru the Valley
Visit www.valleyhope.org Special-Events
for more information and/or to register online
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Green Recovery
Saturday, June 8, 2013
www.valleyhope.org www.valleyhope.org www.valleyhope.org www.valleyhope.org www.valleyhope.org
Parker/Denver Valley Hope
Howdy Y’all, Friends and Alumni of Valley Hope, Howdy Y’all, Friends and Alumni of Valley Hope, Howdy Y’all, Friends and Alumni of Valley Hope, Howdy Y’all, Friends and Alumni of Valley Hope, Howdy Y’all, Friends and Alumni of Valley Hope,
it’s time to celebrate recovery! it’s time to celebrate recovery! it’s time to celebrate recovery! it’s time to celebrate recovery! it’s time to celebrate recovery!
Fun for the Entire Family – Bring the Kids!
Parker Valley Hope
22422 East Main Street, Parker, CO, 80134
Ph (303) 841-7857
8 a.m. Breakfast
Ride starts at 10 a.m.
Speaker and Supper to follow the ride
Speaker this year-Kelle B. from Chappel
w
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12:30 - Round Up – June 22
nd
The Parker Valley Hope Builder Board is currently in
the planning stages of developing a garden at the recov-
ery facility for the patients. The area is being determined
and the board will assist the patients getting it ready to
plant this spring. This will provide activities for the pa-
tients during recreation and free time in developing it,
but also maintaining it throughout the growing season.
We are looking for any gardening supplies you would
be willing to donate. Supplies needed are such things as
steel posts and chicken wire, (keep the rabbits out-maybe),
shovel (spade), rakes, hoes, water hose, water bucket, hand
garden tools. Any help that you can provide will be greatly
appreciated.
May 16-June 21: $30 Adult & $12 Kids
Day of Event: $35 Adult & $15 Kids
Make a Day of It
I attend regular meetings in irregular places! Please let me ex-
plain. I have decided that I will not let alcoholism take my life
away a second time by keeping me tied to a certain meeting at a
certain time rigidly. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a home
group and I attend it regularly but I like to move around to see
new places and new things, try new foods and travel. When I
was drinking I could do none of those without a plan of action
on how I was going to get and use alcohol. I would plan my trip
around drinking. Now I plan my vacations, business trips, and
weekend getaways around recovery. I still get to see new places
and things, taste new foods and experience new cultures and
people. Once I decide where I am going next, I get out my handy
meeting locator App on my phone and find a meeting in that
area or jump on line and look up the central office or area direc-
tory. Send emails and make phone calls ahead of time reach out
and the welcome has been super I always seem to find a meeting
I enjoy, make a few new friends and the best part is, I remember
it all now. ~Jason M.
I will remember to be thankful every day for the strength and
wisdom to not drink again. You have to continue to be thankful
and never take for granted your sobriety. The “jug” can still rear
its head and call your name whispering “Hey, it’s been 10 years,
you can have a drink.” Don’t believe it. However many days you
have been sober, continue to count them and never risk starting
from one ever again. We have the tools but if we forget to use
them we put ourselves at risk. Have a great summer and feel
proud of what you have done. ~ William C.
I am preparing myself mentally and spiritually for the triggers
that will come with summer time events. My safety is in the
hands of my Higher Power, God. I pray for the safety of all of the
people that I love, including myself now that I am sober.
~Melody R.
Question: What will you do to ensure you have
a safe and sober summer?
I have signed up to run a couple of fun 5k’s with friends as well
as a 50 mile bike ride to raise awareness and money for the
American Diabetes Association. It’s exciting to push myself and
my body to see what I can do now! ~Christina B.
For every reason I think I want to drink, I can think of at least 5
reasons not to: 1: Family; 2: Friends; 3: Job; 4: Health;
5: Happiness ~Dennis J.
The first thing I will do is Pray to my Higher Power God for a
safe and sober summer. I have learned since June 12, 1982 that
my Higher Power is the only one that can make that decision
this far in advance. My plan otherwise is to take care of myself
one day at a time by working the program. This may seem
simplistic but it has changed my life and worked for me many
years. ~Wayne N.
I plan on keeping active and doing the things that recovery al-
lows me to do, mountain biking, hiking and even camping and
playing golf sober. I might do some activities with Phoenix
Multisport because there I know I am safe with other people in
recovery. The key is to stay close to the AA program and not let
other things take priority. Staying committed and realizing my
actions are what are important and not my good intentions.
~Kelly
We like to camp in the summer so I will be sure I know the
locations of AA meetings in the communities near our camp-
sites. I will continue to be in contact with my sponsor. And
there will be no beer cooler on the supply list this summer. Jan
K, Atchison VH alumni
I like being sober and drug free. I really like what I have now, so
I will go to any means to keep it. I’ll hang around good people,
continue to go to meetings and won’t put myself in harm’s way.
It works if you work it and it really SUCKS if you don’t.
~Jayde A.
You Asked... You Asked...
You Asked... You Asked... You Asked... You Asked... You Asked...
You Asked... You Asked... You Asked...
Friends In Recovery Answered
Join us for our 2
nd
annual 4 mile run (or 1 mile walk) through the trails of Parker, CO.
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Saturday, June 22
nd
, 2013
8am Bib Pick-Up/ Registration 9am Run/Walk Starts
Start/Finish Location: Parker Valley Hope
Sign up Now @ www.active.com
http://www.active.com/running/parker-co/run4recovery-2013
Prizes will be awarded for top 3 male and female finishers
and for top finishers by age group.
Special gifts and refreshments for all participants!
Event coordinated by Parker Hope Builder Board and staff.
NON PROFIT ORG.
U. S. POSTAGE
PAID
Norton, KS 67654
Permit #86
MISSOURI:
Residential – Boonville (660) 882-6547
Outpatient – St. Louis (314) 514-9220
ARIZONA:
Residential – Chandler (480) 899-3335
Outpatient – Tempe (480) 831-9533
COLORADO:
Residential – Parker (303) 841-7857
Outpatient – Denver (303) 694-3829
KANSAS:
Residential – Atchison (913) 367-1618
Moundridge (620) 345-4673
Norton (785) 877-5101
Outpatient – Mission (913) 432-4037
Wichita (316) 264-7369
AC/ESS Services:
(785) 874-5208
NEBRASKA:
Residential – O’Neill (402) 336-3747
Outpatient – Omaha (402) 991-8824
OKLAHOMA:
Residential – Cushing (918) 225-1736
Outpatient – Oklahoma City (405) 946-7337
TEXAS:
Residential – Grapevine (817) 424-1305
Outpatient Grapevine (817) 424-9013
OKLAHOMA
ARIZONA
COLORADO
KANSAS
TEXAS
MISSOURI
Box 510 Norton, KS 67654-0510
VALLEY HOPE
ASSOCIATION
Ask about our
Fly to Recovery Program!
Admissions: 1-800-544-5101 Information: 1-800-654-0486
Alcohol, Drug and Related Treatment Services
VALLEY HOPE
ASSOCIATION
A Not For Profit Organization
www.valleyhope.org
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NEBRASKA