The Austin Cut - Issue #7

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Video
Page 14

Someone actually read War and Peace? Listening in on the cops

Live at Beerland

page 10

Page 7

The Occupation Will Be Sanitized
Tidiness, Hygiene, and the Occupy Movement Page 8

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The Austin Cut, December 2011 | austincut.com

COnTenTS ISSUe 7 DeCeMBeR 2011
The OccupaTiOn Will Be SaniTized
by Nick Longoria

. . . . . . 8 How hygiene, health, and the media are being used to exploit the homeless within the Occupy Movement

n e WS
ReSpOnSeS & cOmplainTS
. . . . . . . . . . . . Some people get offended really easily

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The cRiminal: RadiOShack nighTmaRe, and naRcOTic fRagmenTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
by Brandon Roberts

The Austin Cut police scanner is back after a long trip through RadioShack “repairs” ... here are some pieces of police radio waves

FO O D
SeRved
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A little history about $2.13 and a response to a reader
by Marie Scott

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dRink Of The mOnTh
Duck Fart!
by Lisa van Dam-Bates

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

B o o ks
all i’m Saying iS give WaR and peace a chance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
by Wint Huskey

. . 10 Wint reads War and Peace, and proves that it can be done. Read his notes and let him rub it in your face.

MUSIC
The nighT i WaTched videO ... OR ReTuRn Of The SupeR gROupS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
by Louis Fontenot

vip STaTuS aT The mOhaWk
by Lisa van Dam-Bates

. . . . . . . . . .

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decemBeR ShOW liST

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

T H e B AC K D O O R
ThiS happened: nOvemBeR
by Tim Lambert

. . . . . . . . . . . 22 So people think the Mayan calendar predicts the world’s end in 2012. How much do you know about The Mayans, anyway?

peRSOnalS

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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austincut.com | The Austin Cut, December 2011

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The Austin Cut, December 2011 | austincut.com

S e RV etoD A little history about $2.13 and a response a reader
by Marie Scott

STaff
Nick Longoria

Editor-in-Chief
Brandon Roberts

Managing Editor
Lisa van Dam-Bates

Copy Editor Contributors & Columnists
Louis Fontenot, Wint Huskey, Tim Lambert, Josh Newport, Marie Scott, Curtis Grey

Advertising Director
Lisa van Dam-Bates

Cover Art
Justin Winter

Photographer
Aaron Robertson

aBOuT ThiS iSSue

Once again, this is our biggest issue, yet. We finally got our police scanner back, so you’ll see the return of The Criminal, as well as some letters that we received. I was going to write more, but I’m too drunk and tired to give a shit. Check back next month!

JOuRnaliSTS! cOnTacT
E-Mail
[email protected]

We’re looking for aspiring journalists and writers who want to work on bold and exciting news assignments and features. We expect that you will be able to work on leads (preferably your own leads) and do actual research. Particularly, we’re interested in bold ideas, local corruption, fringe topics, punk news / reviews, and more. Contact information is as follows:

The Austin Cut
1712 E. Riverside Dr. Box 245 Austin, Texas 78741

dRinkDam-Bates mOnTh: duckfaRT! Of The by Lisa van
This one should be consumed in shot form. 1/2 oz. Canadian Whiskey 1/2 oz. Kahlua (If you want a stronger drink use Kahlua Especial, it’s 40% instead of 21% alcohol.) 1/2 oz. Bailey’s Irish Cream This is a “layered” shot meaning if you do it right, and you look at the side of the glass, you’ll see defined layers of the different ingredients. If you drink it right you’ll get equal parts of each all at once.

I visited home this summer, in Washington State, near Seattle. I got to see a lot of my friends that haven’t moved away, and we had a really good time. Most of my friends are living with their parents or on food stamps while they try to finish some school. A lot of them are unemployed or severely underemployed. One of my best friends has over five years of experience as a barista and had trouble finding a job after the cafe she worked at went out of business. She ended up lucky to get the job she had right after high school at a Starbucks inside of Safeway (the worst of both worlds). She and her coworkers constantly fought over hours and schedules. Here in Austin, it seems like nobody fights over hours because everyone in the service industry needs, at the very least, two jobs. It’s strange that finding a waiting job in Travis County (7.2% unemployment) is so much easier than in King County (8.1% unemployment). The truth is that if any of my friends were willing to work at McDonald’s (sadly, some of them are), finding a job wouldn’t be so hard. Last month (and probably every month since I started writing this column) I said that waiting tables in Austin wasn’t what it was back home. I talked about how in Washington, where you make $8.50/hr plus tips, it’s a pretty sweet gig that almost nobody is willing to quit (even once they finish school and get their “real” jobs). Here, it seems like anybody can and will wait tables, regardless of whether they’re remotely capable. Earlier this week, I received an anonymous email defending the shitty service I’ve claimed of Texas’ servers. I’d like to start out by apologizing to anyone who might have been offended. I didn’t mean to blame the hard (and not so hard) working restaurant staff of this city, I merely wanted to point out the system that is in place here is somewhat flawed. The letter I got was from someone claiming 15+ years of service experience (including some bartending). I agree with almost everything this person said, and I think it’s important that people understand what their servers are going through. This person’s assessment of Austin’s waitstaff problems boiled down to three major things: servers here are over-educated, only “cool” people or pretty people get good jobs (even if they suck at them), and finally, people in Austin “tip like shit.” Obviously, I concur. Why the hell else would I dedicate countless hours to raising public awareness of these issues? The one distinction I’d like to make is that people in Seattle are also “over-educated” and, contrary to my anonymous tipper’s beliefs, do not wait tables as their “planned career.” The person who wrote to me expressed a severe problem with the way customers treat him/her, especially that last part about tipping “like shit.” One thing this person brought up, which I think is a common attitude among service industry people in

Austin, is blaming the clientele when they should be pissed off at the minimum wage laws keeping them poor. Nothing is shittier than working your ass off and getting stiffed, but if you can’t suck it up and keep a smile on your face, then you’re in the wrong industry. I found my self oh-so-capable of “sucking it up” when I had a decent paycheck to look forward to. Somehow it became less manageable when my $8.50/hr turned to barely more than $2. Kind of like my first real job. It was at a Subway inside a mall in Olympia, Washington. My first two weeks of work somehow got paid to a previous employee and my bosses did little to fix it. I didn’t get a paycheck for the first two months because of some problem with their paperwork. I was in high school and didn’t have any real expenses, so I didn’t really care. It seems they were counting on that. I ended up getting rearranged completely out of the schedule after only four months of work, but I soon found a way cooler job. One of my friends, Nathan, stuck it out at Subway for a while longer. About a month after I quit, Washington State raised its minimum wage. Nathan commented to his bosses at Subway that the new minimum had not been recognized on his last paycheck, he asked that they fix the glitch because it was the law. He was fired. Taking advantage of high schoolers is too easy. They’re the one age-group in Washington that isn’t going to fight for their benefits or get their employers in much trouble. They don’t have bills to pay and it’s usually faster to find another job (through of a friend of a friend) than fight with some grown-ups about a couple of bucks. In 1996, when “Bill” William Reynolds Archer sponsored the Small Business Job Protection Act (signed by President “Bill” Clinton), he effectively cut a lot of waiter’s paychecks in half. The new law raised the federal minimum wage in two stages from $4.25 to $5.15, over the coarse of two years. It also took the original $4.25/hr, cut it in half (then rounded up by a half cent, WHOO!), and froze this new rate for food and beverage tipped employees. Every time the federal minimum wage has gone up since 1996 (a whopping total of $3/ hr), servers have made the same discounted rate. It seems like servers are okay with that here. They’re used to it. Imagine showing up to work in 1996 and being informed that you were going to make half of what you made the day before, while doing the exact same job. It’s like the opposite of that great feeling getting a raise gives you (not like waiters here would know the feeling). Basically, I think waiters here are mad. And they should be. They should be making way more money for working so hard (if and when they do). But nobody should expect their customers to pay their wages if the service sucks. Server hostility and poor tippers could easily enter a never-ending cycle, with no winners.

The trick to layering the liquor is all in the order in which you pour them. Start with the whiskey because it is the thinnest and won’t float on top of the others. You can use a spoon to slowly (I mean super slowly) trickle the Kahlua and Bailey’s in that order. If you have pour spouts on your bottles you can skip the spoon and hold the bottle so that the spout is almost facing skyward while still upside down, then trickle the liquid against the side of the glass.

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, December 2011

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ReSpOnSeS & cOmplainTS
Some people get offended really easily “Friendly criticism”
Hi Brandon, I’d like to share with you an odd thing that happened earlier. I found your email address on your website after Lisa, your advertising director, stopped in at our restaurant around 6pm tonight. Though this is an unusually quiet weekend here because of the holiday, dropping in at peak time to talk about immediate advertising deadlines is not the most efficient way to do business, in my opinion. However, that is not the reason I am writing. We are pretty laid back here, like most places in South Austin, but I cannot think of a good reason to walk into a business and use the words shit and mother-fucker as part of a sales pitch at the front door of a business when you are trying to sell us something. I am totally taking that out of context but those words actually came out. I am aware that we all (especially restaurant workers) swear more than we should but there is a time and a place. Additionally, that was after criticizing us for advertising through another publication. I was very surprised by her level of professionalism, considering the reliance on word-of-mouth advertising for a new publication like yours. I/we love to partner with and support other local businesses but not based on what I heard earlier. Finally, I set down the packet Lisa gave me for a moment and my staff were all fired up because of the cover on how “Texas waiters suck.” Free speech is all yours, but that might not be the best issue with which to seek restaurant sponsors. Anyway, I thought this might help you if you are seeing any negative response with regard for ads. I think Lisa is probably very nice and a capable person but she may want to change her approach. Best of luck to you and everyone at Austin Cut. Cheers, Billy Elliott Manager & Event Planner Red’s Porch

“Maria Scott [sic]: Served”
This is in response to Scott’s article about the service industry in Austin. The service here sucks for several reasons: 1.) Most of us are over-educated. This was supposed to be our weekend job to help pay the bills through college. Once we graduated and found out our liberal arts degrees were worthless, we were stuck at our temporary serve industry job. Unlike Seattle, we didn’t plan to make a career out of it. 2.) Many restaurants and bars, especially the hip ones, hire staff on looks only. Want a gig bar tending on 6th street? Better have full sleeve tattoo’s. So what if you don’t know what’s in a vodka soda. A friend of mine opened bar on 6th years ago, who by the way has terrible employees, wouldn’t hire me because I “didn’t have enough bar tending experience.” Apparently 15 years wasn’t enough for him. He did however hire a friend of mine who’s a hot girl with a ton of tats even though she’d never so much as stepped behind a bar before. 3.) People in Austin tip like shit. The bar I work at has a lot of complaints on Yelp about how rude we are. I would like to tell them to not take it personally, the previous 10 costumers where total pains in the asses who left little to no tip. Seriously, I wish I could show you the credit card receipts from last night: $36.75-tip:blank, $25.00-tip:$1.00, $28.75-tip:$0.00(love that one, they actually took the time to write $0.00) this goes on and on for 8 hours, sometimes it seems to be the rule not the exception. 6-10 of these in a row starts to wear down your chipper attitude and your ability to give a shit about the next person in line. The worst was a recruiter from Marathon oil. Left $5.00 on $250 which he’d put on a corporate credit card! I gave him, or rather Marathon oil, his/their $5 back. We implemented a mandatory 20% grat on anything over $100 after that and name it after him. The worst offenders are the students, especially the one’s who just turned 21 but that’s understandable, and the baby boomers. Don’t know what it is about the boomer generation but you see a guy in his mid 50’s you know he ain’t leaving dick! Hope this helps, Anonymous
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The Austin Cut, December 2011 | austincut.com

The cRiminal: RadiOShack nighTmaRe, and naRcOTic fRagmenTS
The Austin Cut police scanner is back after a long trip through RadioShack “repairs” ... here are some pieces of police radio waves
by Brandon Roberts
I need to start this special edition of The Criminal with a disclaimer and an excuse. The first column (June 2011) featured raw, unreported Austin chaos: teenagers trying to kill themselves, cops busting poor East Austin Hispanics, punks lying unconscious and face-down in the middle of the street during Chaos in Tejas, and little bits and pieces from Austin’s undercover narcotics officers. After that, RadioShack fucked me. Very shortly after the publication of Issue 1, I turned my scanner on and realized that it didn’t work anymore. The first thing I did was take it to “my local RadioShack” for repairs. It was still under warranty. But since I’d bought it online and only picked it up there, I needed to get some shit called a “Return Authorization Number” before they’d touch it. I picked up my phone, navigated the maze of clueless East Indians, and got my code. Then I brought it in and they gave me a choice: return or repair? Stupidly, I chose repair. They took my scanner and assured me it would only take two weeks to fix. They tried to tell me that the normal procedure involved no paperwork, and that I should take their word for it that my scanner would return. I was a sucker to not take a cash-return, but not dumb enough to leave without any paper trail. And “thank God” I did. After two months and no scanner, I called the manager of the Oltorf RadioShack, who assured me the scanner would arrive in a week and a half. I waited for the call, and it didn’t come after two weeks. I called again. The same manager “looked it up” on his computer and gave me some excuse about extreme temperatures at the Dallas warehouse and that it would come in two weeks. This process repeated itself several times until two more months passed. Eventually, at the crescendo of a legendary weekend of days/nights of drinking with friends from out of town, I stayed up until 10 a.m. drinking, drove to RadioShack, and argued the facts out of the store manager. He told me he didn’t know where the hell my scanner was, if it even got shipped out for repairs, and unless he personally drove out to Dallas/Ft. Worth, I wasn’t getting it back. Our discussion disintegrated with: “I’m going to have to take a step back, sir. I’m feeling uncomfortable.” At that point, I realized this dude wasn’t giving me my police scanner back. Luckily, Lisa, our invaluable Managing Editor and Advertising Director, called corporate and yelled at them until they called me one day and politely informed me that my scanner was finally finished with repairs. This was magically ten minutes after she got off the phone with the district manager. I went in, got my brand new police scanner and even got the satisfaction of demanding that the store manager take a brand new power supply out of one of the boxes on the shelf and give it to me. He did and I thanked him and left. The following is the result of extremely poor reception and a shortage of time to scan police airwaves in. Next month will be more exciting … I promise. Nov 10, 3:30 PM North Lamar Police picked up a guy who was “eating, drinking a beer, and speeding through a school zone.” Nov 11, 11:30 PM East Austin Undercover narcotics officers followed a black male with gold-rimmed glasses (their main “target”) and “a group of eight transients” around east Austin. They believed they saw him do multiple crack deals, rip another “transient” off, and other related crimes. They followed him and various people for several hours. Eventually, they decided they were going to “get him [the gold rimmed guy] no matter what.” At 12:30 AM, I heard officers following a related group. The undercover officer called a plain-clothed officer in to drive by with sirens/ lights blaring, “just to break ‘em up and get ‘em out of here for a little bit. It’s kind of fun to watch, anyway.” Nov 12, 4:05 PM City Hall Police responded to a fight at City Hall. Some guy got punched in the face and, after initially refusing EMS, he eventually decided that wanted an ambulance because “his nose won’t stop bleeding.” 4:30 PM Southeast Austin Police are called to respond to a family dispute. Dispatcher: “Their 13

year old daughter is hitting and fighting everyone. They’re just trying to restrain her.” Nov 15, 7:00 PM Northeast Austin Undercover police followed a suspect, who they believed to be carrying or involved in drugs. They followed the car to a house where the driver picked up some more people. From there, police followed the car to a convenience store. The suspects went inside the store and undercover officers considered grabbing them right then and there. They decided to wait until everyone got back into the car. Eventually, the car pulled out of the parking lot and undercover police followed. In a matter of seconds, several traffic violations were committed: the driver forgot to turn on his headlights, he had no taillights, and one of the passengers wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. As police continued to follow, the driver made a lane change without signaling (Texasstyle), ran a red light, and stopped past a crosswalk. Finally, police initiated a traffic stop. This is how you get caught. Police found a “small amount” of weed on one suspect. One officer noted, “he’s being cooperative and it’s just a little bit of weed.” Nov 18, 10:00 PM South Austin (Woodward St. & Texas 71 area) Undercover narcotics officers set up a drug deal with a suspected dealer. The suspect insisted that the officer come to her to get the drugs because “she thinks it’s a set-up.” For some reason she thought this would be safer. They met in the parking lot of Vic’s Bar-B-Que in south Austin, and officers ran every license plate in sight. The suspect was then followed (on foot) to her apartment on Mission Hill Drive, where

the drugs were set to arrive, by a team of undercover officers. A series of cars and people came and went, but nobody seemed to have any drugs. Eventually, the girl told the narc that “there’s nobody out tonight” and that they probably wouldn’t be able to get any drugs. Minutes later, police saw her do a “hand-to-hand” with another suspected dealer. They then watched her hide the drugs in her bra. The woman, who was described as “heavyset and wearing an orange UT sweatshirt,” brought the drugs to the officer. Arrests began to be made and people scattered, trying to get away. There was a report of a fight in the apartment complex shortly after the sting began, and police spent the rest of the night going from door-to-door with Spanish-speaking officers, tying up loose ends. Nov 22, Midnight South Austin (Banister Lane & Texas 71) I was woken up by a low-flying police helicopter, which was circling for about an hour and shining its spotlight a few blocks from where I live. I turned my scanner on. In addition to a helicopter, K9 units were brought in to help find fleeing suspects in a string of auto breakins. Police records showed that at 8:00 PM, earlier that day, two vehicles belonging to Ecological Communication Corporation, located at 4009 Banister Ln, were broken into. Then, at around 11 PM, a man living down the street reported a stolen license plate. Less than ten minutes later, three more cars were broken into at 4009 Banister Ln, but this time they belonged to individuals. It’s unclear if anyone was caught. I guess things really are heating up in south Austin.

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, December 2011

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The OccupaTiOn Will Be SaniTized
How hygiene, health, and the media are being used to exploit the homeless within the Occupy Movement
by Nick Longoria
create a safer, cleaner, environment conducive to long term occupation …” There definitely have been requests to help make Occupy Austin a safer environment. “We had a knife pulled on us, a few flashers, and lots of obscene folks. None of them were occupiers. Back when this all started is when we were told we were on our own by the police,” says occupier Molly Bryant. It seems the police have strayed from direct confrontation with incidents, and relied on the city to make new regulations to weed out the problem. What the regulations have done is incite dedicated occupiers to stand up against what they see as the city trying to suffocate the movement. It’s not hard to believe that these rules were put in place to benefit the city. The city has noticed the rise of the homeless at Occupy Austin. Chief Acevedo stated, “there are people [at City Hall] that are not there for anything other than food service.” I have seen much anger towards the chief and the police in general, but they are just spokesperson for whoever has been making the sketchy regulations concerning Occupy Austin. The police presence at City Hall has been anything but violent, as opposed to other cities like Oakland and New York City. You can’t entirely blame the city, either, for making those rules, because there truly is a homeless problem at City Hall. The thing is, many occupiers already knew about the problem. Natalie Atwater, one of the main coordinators of the food magnate and an arrestee of the food table incident, has been personally effected by the homeless presence. After being arrested and unable to return to City Hall, she continued to contribute to Occupy Austin by cooking food off site and dropping it off to those free of criminal trespassing violations. I talked to her on November 23, just two days after the city allowed her to return to City Hall. One day, those “leeching” on free food had finally gotten to her, so she stopped bringing food, and demanded those not contributing to start. The next day, she saw a good amount of those who previously only rose from their sleeping bags to eat, finally help out. I imagine it’s hard to not get pissed when, instead of being met with joyful faces gorging on your creation and nourishing themselves for the fight in the war against corporate greed, you get people who smell like a burning dumpster who go to sleep after they leave their food trash for you to pick up. Before the pseudo-ordinances were put into place, occupiers were beginning to regulate their food distribution themselves, to subtly fend off moochers. Josie, a frequent occupier of City Hall, told me they were creating stricter time windows for when they would have food out, as to not be a 24/7 soup kitchen. They knew they had a problem, so they aimed to fix it. Why not let them? It’s their problem and their food. And if the occupiers weren’t being harsh enough to deter a massive influx of homeless, why not meet with them to discuss solutions and provide ideas? It’s ironic that the city went behind closed doors to make decisions about a movement protesting officials who make decisions behind closed doors. Austin hasn’t been the only city with a homeless problem at its local occupation. It’s a nationwide problem. According to the New York Post, the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) kitchen workers attempted to combat the “professional homeless” by changing the meals to brown rice, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and other non-gourmet food. A place to sleep, food to eat, and no hassle from the cops (for the most part) sounds like homeless-heaven to me. Yet, there seems to be a symbiotic relationship between the homeless and the true occupiers. Many non-homeless occupiers down at Austin City Hall have told me that even though the homeless do mooch off of them, they give the occupation numbers. In an occupation as small as Austin’s, it’s really important to keep those numbers up. Occupy Austin food magnate, Natalie, told me it’s unfortunate that there are people at City Hall who aren’t participating in the movement, but they are still part of the 99% and their condition is the result of corporate corruption. In some cities, this mutual acceptance of the symbiosis has crumbled. Philadelphia Weekly reports that many homeless people at Occupy Philly are accusing the occupation of exploiting them for numbers. So for the most part, many occupations have been able to utilize the presence of the homeless amidst the lack of actual contribution from them. Yet, their mere presence leads to a problem all its own, sanitation, or the appearance of a lack of it. The issue of sanitation and health has swept the nation, damaging many occupy movements and even shutting some down. On October 13, 2011, at about 2 AM, the city brought out a power washing crew to clean Austin City Hall, following through on a notice

Aaron Robertson

A group of occupiers on the steps of a messy-looking City Hall.

On Sunday, October 30, 2011, 37 people were arrested by the Austin Police Department at City Hall. The city had issued a memo of rules regarding the use of City Hall on the Friday before the arrests were made. One rule regulated the usage of food tables. Only a night after the rules had been posted, they were enforced quite strictly. As 10 PM came about on Saturday night, the food tables remained up in an attempt by occupiers to continue their normal routine. Police were quick to enforce the new “rules.” At about 12:30 AM cops moved in to take down the tables. Some of the occupiers locked arms around the tables, hoping to fend off the police. Michelle Millette, an Occupier, told The Daily Texan “the general assembly wanted to let people know about what the memo said … [they requested] 48 hours to discuss the proposals, but [the city] never got back to [them].” When the new regulations were posted, a few occupiers were in confusion as to who issued them, since a city seal was the only validity the paper had. It wasn’t signed by the mayor, or defined as new ordinances (actual laws passed) by city council. According to assistant city manager Michael McDonald, they were in fact not new ordinances officially passed by city council. Nevertheless, the rules were enforced as laws, leading to the arrest of many core occupiers. 8 4

In an email response to an occupier who had inquired about the arrests, chief of police Art Acevedo responded, explaining the motivation behind the police action: I was present the first day of OA and was truly happy to see 1,300 community members from a city I have grown to love, comprising a wide cross section of our society participate. The positive energy and spirit throughout our City Hall was something to behold. I can say that it was a day I will carry with me for the rest of my life as it represented the very best of our city, state and Nation. “Unfortunately, since that time, we have seen a fairly rapid deterioration of conditions at city hall after a segment of aggressive transients moved into City Hall and actually started to camp out. Despite the City providing the use of City Hall bathroom facilities, we have seen the following: Public urination throughout including in the mezzanine, feces, public sex, discarded used condoms, drug use, graffiti, aggravated assaults, and true activists that have been at OA since day one, being accosted by aggressive people who did not want to conduct themselves in a manner which promotes a safe, sanitary environment for the OA members who are acting responsibly and representing the movement in an honorable fashion. We have been asked by a myriad of OA participants to help

The Austin Cut, December 2011 | austincut.com

they gave a day before. The police told the occupiers they had to move to the sidewalk for the duration of the cleaning. Four people refused, were arrested, and were charged with criminal trespassing. Many of the occupiers see the frequent cleanings as a strategic inconvenience the City has devised to agitate those sleeping there. Occupy Austin has been lucky enough to have the city rethink its policies at City Hall and change them, based on the requests of Occupy Austin. The changes came after the Halloween weekend arrests, and allowed two food tables to be standing all day and night, and scheduled the power washes to an earlier time of 10 PM to 2 AM. (Previously they were scheduled from 2-6 AM.) Some cities haven’t been as compromising. As reported by The Cap Times, Occupy Madison (Wisconsin) is on the brink of eviction due to their lack of receiving a permit. Madison Assistant Attorney Lara Mainella says, “we feel the city and the health department would be remiss if they didn’t keep tabs on health and safety issues that might be present in that location.” Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter rejected Occupy Philly’s request to continue occupying Dilworth Plaza due to “the clear, adverse impact on public health and safety and other reasons.” On November 25th, Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa issued an eviction for Occupy L.A., saying in a press conference, “from the start, we’ve said that a long-term encampment is not sustainable in City Hall park ... this is true for reasons of public health, this is true for reasons of public safety and for the security of the encampment itself. It’s time to close the park and repair the grounds so we can restore public access to the park.” The most notable example of sanitation effecting an occupation was the midnight raid/cleaning of Zuccotti Park, New York, early in the morning (1 AM) on November 15th. The raid came unannounced, with notices being handed out as it was taking place that read: “THE CITY HAS DETERMINED THAT THE CONTINUED OCCUPATION OF ZUCCOTTI PARK POSES AN INCREASING HEALTH AND FIRE SAFETY HAZARD TO THOSE CAMPED IN THE PARK.” In wake of the OWS raid, many occupations have initiated preemptive cleaning and other precautions to keep a cleaning raid at bay. On November 16, Austin occupiers began an effort to thoroughly clean the plaza at City Hall by hand-scrubbing the floor with water and vinegar. Sanitation, health, hygiene, and public safety. These are all major issues of the homeless. When you take the visual of a dirty person and fuse it with an unpleasant smell, those two senses can easily trigger a defense system for those not accustomed to it. One occupier told me that she was afraid to bring her kids

to City Hall. She thought the sight and smell would frighten her children. When I asked another occupier, Eric, if he felt safe taking his 16 year-old daughter down to the occupation, he responded: “Most of the homeless people just stay on the steps … typically, our interaction with them is minimal. There are so many cops there that if anything were to happen it’s probably the safest place to be within the city of Austin.” The only violence his daughter experienced was from seven people passing by in cars who flipped her the bird. He says, “those seven have been more disrespectful than any homeless, transient person at City Hall.” The mainstream media has also added insult to injury. When I asked occupiers if I could quote them in my article, many were cautious and skeptical. One person flat out told me “I don’t trust the media.” I can’t blame them. I don’t either. These days, many news outlets are obviously biased and limit what they show and tell to spin a story. Some do it on accident, many do it on purpose. On the night Occupy Oakland marched and shutdown the Port of Oakland, the nation’s fifth busiest port, the biggest story on CNN. com’s front page was about how Paris Hilton became famous, with a small link to coverage on Oakland in the low left of the page. Foxnews.com’s front page didn’t even have the word “Oakland” until the next day. The vicious ogre that is the media will consume anything worthy of high ratings. Instead of an interview with another boring occupier at Zuccottii Park talking about how OWS has managed to create a library through donations of over 5,500 books, why not talk to a crazy lady condemning the Zionist Jews for the fall of the economy? This is the story Fox L.A. covered. The Tea Party has used this out-of-context story to distance itself from the Occupy

movement, as they are both seen in the media as being similar to each other. The homeless presence has also been misrepresented in the media. Yes, there have been reports of public urination, deification, masturbation, copulation, and illegal medication, but what many news outlets have done is expand the problems of the few to represent the entire movement. Even if it’s not intentional, this is what the public sees in the news. This is what they use to relate to the Occupy movement. I must admit that the crazy lady’s remarks, that Fox covered are quite entertaining. But it’s easy to fall into that pit of entertaining media and many don’t realize it once they’ve fallen in it and are unable to differentiate between the opinions of that crazy anti-Semitic woman and the consensus of a world movement as a whole. Even when we get news reporting true to what the consensual meaning of the Occupy movement is, in places like Austin where the unemployment rate is lower than the national average, it’s easy to blow it off. We hear about the US deficit, but those trillions of imaginary dollars seem to elude many, so they go on working and living as if it’s just a small slump in the economy that they will never truly feel. I asked some middle class relatives, who have mortgages, if they had felt the 1.7 trillion dollar rise in debt (roughly $15 trillion total, as of November 2011). They all could not cite a specific time or place they had felt it, nor did they experience the effects of the recent recession. It’s no mystery, though, that many have felt the crumbling economy through job loss and home foreclosure. Yet, those who don’t experience those drastic events seem to not realize the detrimental state our economy is in. (If you are a visual learner, I highly recommend you see an info-graphic here: http://xkcd. com/980/)

That’s what separates those yelling, “get a job,” from those holding signs saying, “end corporate greed.” The misinterpretation of the movement helps create those who cast occupiers down. Many of the occupiers have jobs. I’d go as far to say the majority of them do. Many of the troublemaker-types are just passing by and happen to be in the perfect place for the nightly news. There are those who want their college tuition paid for them, and those who truly want a socialist society, but that’s not what Occupy is about. It’s not about anti-capitalism. It’s not about anarchism. It’s about justice. Occupy is the 99%, composed of many different beliefs and opinions. The only thing they want is a fighting chance. They want their government back from the corporations who push public policy to favor them, the 1%, with their billions of dollars. In the months to come, I can assure you many cities will attempt to shut down occupations. Some occupations will hold their ground, some will be evicted, but the movement will not end. Many people will realize how close they are to becoming jobless, and even homeless. That is why many empathize with the homeless at Occupy movements. Yes, some of the homeless are homeless because of drug abuse and bad decisions, but some are in their current state because of a diminishing economy. I have heard and seen many homeless people contributing to the cause, holding signs, speaking at general assemblies, and much more. Yet, there’s no escaping that they are one of Occupy’s many problems. A solution to their current condition is unfeasible at the moment, but if Occupy can manage to work with the homeless and also manage their way around those who work against them, they can be part of the solution.

An Occupy tent down at City Hall. This tent was originally trashed on the 13th of October during the first scheduled cleaning.

Aaron Robertson

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, December 2011

9 3

all i’m Saying iS give WaR and peace a chance
Wint reads War and Peace, proving that it can be done. Read his notes and let him rub it in your face.
by Wint Huskey
I assume that people in Austin probably have some vague idea of what ‘winter’ is. You know, that time of year when the average high temperature ‘drops’ down to 60 degrees, the days get shorter, and you start ordering soup when you go out to eat. Wintertime. I’ve actually met a handful of peculiar folks who really get a kick out of this unfriendly quarter of the year, or at least claim they do. But most of us tend to do everything we can to make it go by as quickly as possible. Like so many others, the things I most look forward to when December rolls around are the things that will hopefully mitigate the fact that it’s December: using the oven to make every meal/ heat the house, wearing my Sorel boots, and finding a nice project that can be achieved from underneath my blankets/ comforter. Winter is indeed a time for projects, which explains why you never see anybody knitting at the beach. These projects keep us from falling into a bear-like hibernation state. Lately, the de facto winter project for many has become the television series on DVD/ online. While most people would agree that spending 14 consecutive hours watching Mad Men is equal parts sad and unhealthy, society will give you a pass if it happened to be cold outside on said day. But the winter project needn’t be so passive, as there are other forms of entertainment that can get you through the chilly months ahead without making every conversation you have turn into an anecdote about something Don Draper did. Personally, I see winter as a prime opportunity for one to perform some inspired reading. Every other season is brimming with better things to do, cool stuff going on, and countless other indistinct activities we can all choose over sitting alone with a book. But once you find yourself immured in your own home for hours on end, your old friend the book might be the only thing staving off a serious case of arctic madness. So if you’re going to read something over the course of 88 hoary, blustery days, it may as well be a book of substance. And December in particular is a great time to undertake a big reading project, with the extended time off and hours spent in terminals and airplane fuselages. As Harold Bloom would say: “go big or go home.” Well, they don’t come much bigger than Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace. 10 4 That’s right, War and Peace—that thing you considered hollowing out to put your stash inside of … it turns out it’s a book. And you can read it, too. To prove that it can be done, I went ahead and read War and Peace during the month of November and maintained a “journal” of observations about the book. Don’t worry about spoilers, intrepid readers, as I will keep my notes free of character names and plot summaries, instead focusing on what makes this gentle giant so misunderstood and why more people should go out and begin reading it immediately. So get the borscht warmed up, dust off some Shostakovich records, and let’s rip this joint. *** 29 October 2011 As if on command, days of unseasonably warm weather have turned ugly once I began the book. I guess this is what I wanted... to sit at home and read War and Peace while three of the ugliest syllables in the English language (wintry mix) do their worst. Now, the first thing one might notice when starting War and Peace is the fact that the book opens with a lengthy bit of French. I have to admit—it is a discouraging launch-off. Imagine finally building up the courage and clearing out the schedule to take Tolstoy on, and then there’s a bunch of this French nonsense. But don’t let the fact that about 2% of the book is in French stop you! Language and the clash of cultures are very important themes in War and Peace, which is one reason why readers ought to be very prudent when selecting a translator (unless you happen to read Russian). So don’t just buy the cheapest copy in the bookstore unless you don’t mind being stuck with some stuffy, Victorian butchering of a classic. You’ll be spending a hefty chunk of time with this book, so make sure that the version you get is to your liking. I, for one, swear by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky’s 2007 translation of the book. Those I’ve come across who know a lot more about Tolstoy and the Russian language likewise go with this version. But, different strokes, I guess, so thumb through a few versions and see what feels right. Oh, and the book-reading-thing is going fine. 30 pages down, 1194 to go. 31 October 2011 Well, I didn’t dress up as a dork with a big honkin’ book for Halloween this year, so I didn’t manage to get too far beyond those 30 pages I reported on earlier. But I don’t think Count Tolstoy would fault a dashing young man for having a good/ weird time, in a funny costume. I would get a lot more reading done tonight, but my after work social sports team plays on Mondays, so … I didn’t actually say I would read this in a month, did I? 2 November 2011 If anyone tries to give you guff about reading a long, boring book, I just got through a scene where a policeman gets tied up to a bear by a bunch of rowdy drunks … 3 November 2011 All right, back on track. Almost 200 pages in, and I’ve seen some war and I’ve seen some peace. The book is living up to its lofty titular obligations. Funny haha’s aside, though, War and Peace presents readers with an intriguing look at the myriad inconsistencies and outright contradictions that life is so full of. Take, for instance, noticeable opposites like men and women. Tolstoy goes deeper than the Evening at the Improv, “didja ever notice that a guy does this, but a woman does this.” But it doesn’t take a PhD in literary criticism to discern which group is into belligerence and which side tends towards the harmonious. So we get men (in the book and otherwise) that think they are dominant and wholly autonomous creatures, whereas the women are often viewed as naturally submissive and/or outright inferior beings. Tolstoy never comes out and bluntly says, ‘that thinking’s just dumb and wrong,’ but instead portrays two different worlds: a very consequential and meticulous social milieu run by females, a world where family fortunes are made and lost while the gentlemen go off to fight in what turns out to be needless campaigns, full of battlefield diagrams and orders that never seem to go according to plan. Tolstoy’s always up to these sorts of tricks. Just making you think. 6 November 2011

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A legendary weekend of reading. One for the ages. As I prowl on towards Volume II, I am reminded of one of the reasons why War and Peace is actually a very readable piece of literature that happens to be about 1200 pages long. A lot of ignorantass people like to toss around words like ‘brick’ and ‘tome.’ People mistakenly assume that since the book is long, its author must be long-winded. It’s because of its brilliant structure that War and Peace often cannot be put down— just like that ‘watch next episode’ button on Netflix can be impossible to spurn after a tense cliffhanger. Maybe I came off a little gruff when rapping about television series earlier, but I too was raised under the warm and watchful eye of the cathode ray tube, and can appreciate its wiles. Classic series like Twin Peaks or The Wire are so damn watchable and addictive in large part due to their intricate story lines, interconnected intrigues, and the steady buildups and character developments that surprise and entertain us even after multiple viewings. Similarly,War and Peace is a novel about four or five families living in an exceptional time and place. There’s a lot of plot going on and any other (read: lesser) author would completely bungle the whole thing. I guess in summation: nobody worth a damn would say you’re wasting your time watching The Wire because it’s 60-some-hours of television, so, then, what’s the problem with reading a 1200page book? 9 November 2011 If you wanted to read War and Peace but also wanted to take time out this winter to learn about freemasonry, do not fret. You can kill two birds with one 2.6-pound book.

seasons. But, as the book notes, “Russia and hot weather don’t go together.” That’s one of the reasons I love reading Russians in the winter months: it just fits. Part Four of Volume II might be the most “Russian” thing anyone’s ever written. Like, more Russian than writing “Russian” five times so far in this paragraph. For starters, if you have ever wondered how a Russian nobleman circa 1809 would hunt wolves on his estates with his loyal army of serfs and borzois, then things are going to get real good for you around page 500. After that we get to go to Uncle’s house and listen to a little balalaika before being whisked off in a sleigh. Oh, did I mention it’s Christmastime? Tolstoy then proceeds to go all Currier and Ives on us in the next scene, as the holly-jolly Slavs load back up in the sleigh and visit the neighbors dressed up as mummers (a funny/awesome holiday tradition where people wear bizarre costumes (often in drag) and parade around). This book is not afraid to get whimsical! 13 November 2011 After all those eggnog ‘n’ vodka-fueled festivities, this next section is nothing short of a harsh toke. A precipitous falloff, emotionally. Sticking by my promise to avoid plot summaries and whatnot, all I can say is that there is some major heartache on the horizon. Now, I just hate this part of the book. I mean, I read right through it like nobody’s business. But for anybody who has had their feelings trampled on unexpectedly, this segment is rough. In a good way, though, and almost cathartic. Few events are capricious in War and Peace, and Tolstoy does a fine job of initiating the anguish ahead without giving an outright explanation. It’s definitely one of those moments where you want to shake a character out of their stupor, something on par with yelling at a movie screen. But, like the stark, authentic descriptions of battle stripped of grandeur, so, too, are the scenes of love often painted with the austere and unflattering hues of reality. 14 November 2011 Things start getting a little weird around page 600. But weird can be good, so be patient. Leo Tolstoy was a count, so I’m pretty sure he could do mostly anything he wanted to. Like write a 1200-page book and halfway through it, just start philosophizing about history. Because who’s gonna stop a literary honey badger? Tolstoy clearly has some real shit on his mind. Like, “[m]illions of people committed against each other such a countless number of villainies, deceptions, betrayals, thefts, robberies, arsons, and murders as the annals of all the law courts in the world could not assemble in whole centuries, and which, at that period of time, the people who committed them did not look upon as crimes.

What produced this extraordinary event?” Of course, history is supposed to answer these questions or at least offer explanations. But Count Tolstoy thinks otherwise. I’ll leave the heavy philosophizing to the author, but this is just another example of how capital-M Modern War and Peace is. 14 November 2011, Pt. II Okay, so tell me: coincidence, or not? I’m at this scene about numerology, Napoleon, the number of the beast, etc. … it’s on page 666. Freeeeeeaaaaaaaky! 15 November 2011 I just want to go over this point again: long books are not necessarily boring books. You think there’s anything boring about Napoleon invading your country? Is attending a ball at the tsar’s palace really going to be blasé? I’m having a kick-ass time and I’m closing in on the millennium mark. The stories in War and Peace are expertly (and believably) braided together. Broke down into volumes, which are separated into parts, which are diced into still smaller chapters, War and Peace gracefully chugs right along. The book is simply unrelenting. Compared with other heavies, War and Peace is an incomparable pleasure. Tolstoy’s work isn’t nearly as saddled down with jargon and inane facts as Moby Dick, for example. The book is far more concise than anything those French wordbags Hugo and Proust ever wrote. The book is free of the redundancy that makes the second half of Don Quixote so difficult to finish. And unlike modern and postmodern big-boys like Ulysses, Gravity’s Rainbow, 2666, or Underworld, you don’t need a BA in English to fully understand or appreciate War and Peace. 17 November 2011 It’s really cool, the way Napoleon is just a character in this book. Like “and starring... Napoleon Bonaparte as... himself.” It keeps reminding me of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, actually. But as Tolstoy continues to explain that historians are idiots (boy, I sure would hate to be Napoleon biographer Adolphe Thiers right now, ‘cuz the Count is constantly ripping me a new one), he adroitly inserts Bonaparte the man into the story. Initially, the lil’ general comes off as a bit of a bumbling goof. But that’s just Leo being Leo. It’s not that Napoleon was a schmuck, it’s just that our understanding of him, and his own self-conception, were both blown way out of proportion. As I am endeavoring to prove, this book is real. 18 November 2011 There are plenty of scenes of army life and lots of discussion of “the war,” but there’s not a ton of straight-up battlefield action. Even though half of this book is about war, we only get two real major battle scenes—the earlier mentioned

Austerlitz and then Borodino. Like The Iliad, which only covers about ten days of a decade-long conflict, War and Peace mentions mostly everything that went down over the course of the Napoleonic Wars of 1803-1815, but it only takes readers to two battles. Which is fine, because I don’t think I could handle much more bayonetting or battlefield surgery … 20 November 2011 Well, turn your head for a second and, bam! Napoleon’s in Moscow! Sorry if you think that constitutes a spoiler. I think it just means you weren’t paying enough attention in your 11th-grade history class. Either way, this is a pretty crazy scene with the city burning and occupied by enemy combatants. This part is probably uncharted territory to an American audience (unless you’re an American Indian or have a strong allegiance to the Confederacy), but Tolstoy takes you there. Serious horror ensues when the grim specter of war makes its way into the usually-tranquil city. 21 November 2011 I don’t know how he does it, this guy! There are so many poignant moments in War and Peace that are going to sound hackneyed and corny in any voice other than Tolstoy’s. I still don’t get why I can read this book and be interested in all the petticoats and proposals but won’t touch anything Jane Austen wrote with a ten-foot reading stick. I suspect there’s a real attrition affect going on (I’m on page 1096, guys!), as I have become pretty attached to some of these folks. When a character you’ve spent weeks getting to know dies, you just wipe the tear away and say, “I hate to see you go like that, but you’re in a better place, pal.” 23 November 2011 I’m at peace here at the end. You know, I imagine that trying to come up with a conclusion to a 1224-page book must’ve been really, really hard. And this thing actually turns into a bit of a Winchester Mystery House, with a couple of strangebut-fitting endings. Yeah, endings with an s. If any book was ever going to need a two-part epilogue, it is this one. There’s probably no way to tie everything perfectly together in a satisfying way, anyway, though. Ever true to life, I suppose. *** So that’s it. I did it. And while I learned a ton, well, a lot, the thing that stands out the most is exactly what’s most apparent: this book is big, and full of big ideas. Just as I can walk along the beach and bring back a few shells that looked neat to me, personally, it fails to do the beach itself justice. Here, too, I’ve picked out a few, random qualities that make War and Peace such a unique treat. So before you get too deep into Boardwalk Empire, give War and Peace a chance.

11 November 2011 Thank goodness Tolstoy was not born in Soviet Russia, or book may have written him... Also of note, it’s Veterans Day, alias Armistice Day, which commemorates the end of one of Western civilization’s biggest attempts at suicide. I just recently read here of the battle of Austerlitz, where some 35,000 soldiers were killed. It’s safe to say that, for most, military life has never been too cheerful. I wouldn’t go so far as to call War and Peace an “anti-war” novel, but Tolstoy has no problem telling it like it is, demonstrating that vainglory, senselessness, and absolute destruction are all synonymous with war. While some men, in reality or in the novel, perform noble deeds, act heroically, and maybe even save lives, war is unquestionably humanity at its most brutal.

12 November 2011 War and Peace takes place over several years and events occur throughout the 12 4

The Austin Cut, December 2011 | austincut.com

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, December 2011

13 3

The nighT i WaTched videO ... OR ReTuRn Of The SupeR gROupS
NOv 3Rd AT BeeRlANd
by Louis Fontenot
The crowd stirred outside on the patio as I walked up to the gate at Beerland. Smiling faces smoked cigarettes and exchanged stories while waiting for the music to start back up inside. I was bummed to find out I missed the first two acts, Nazi Gold and The Best, while I was still at work. I had really looked forward to catching both of these bands, as they are the brain babies of some of my favorite Austin musicians. Nazi Gold is compiled of Jeremy Steen of The Gospel Truth and The Flesh Lights, Quin Galavis of The Quin Galavis Band and The Dead Space, and Shearwater/sometime Bill Callahan drummer Thor Harris. The Best is another Austin-brewed super-group, including Max Vandever of The Flesh Lights, Orville Bateman Neely and Jason Smith of OBN III’s, and Caleb Dawson of The Wolf and Bad Lovers. If you get a chance to see either of these bands, please do! It’s bound to be good. While Burnt Skull finished up their sound check, I finished my cigarette. The last time and first time, for that matter, I saw these guys, they did a NIN/ INXS/Ministry cover set under the name “NINIXSTRY.” They played prerecorded songs and sang over them without any need for instruments, while shouting at the crowd with snarling faces and head banging matted mullet wigs. The highlight being when they got everyone in front of the Beerland stage to sit on the ground while they kicked out a heartfelt ballad, commanding, “Sit the fuck down. I didn’t tell you to get up.” Burnt Skull is made up of Anthony Davis and Dustin Pilkington, members of Austin tonguein-cheek digi-rap group/whatever-theywanna-be group Best Fwends. Make no mistake though, this is a definite deviation from what these two dudes usually dish out. From the first song to the last, they laid into pissed off hardcore punk rock, tearing through song after song with menacing snarls and nasty riffs to match. Their set ended with Dustin filling everyone’s ears with feedback and silently pantomiming “I’m-going-tokick-your-asses” to audience members. I got a drink after they ended their set and waited outside until I heard the muddy, crunchy-sounding bass and guitar tones that make this next group’s name, Cruddy, sound so right. With rigid drums and guitar hooks so good, somehow all the chaos was catchy in its own right. When I walked in, guitarist Drew Schmitz was banging out his doomy riffs while Dustin of Burnt Skull returned to play bass, rocking back and forth in some kind of angry trance while he scrambled out his own. Video played next. Everytime I try to describe Video, the same word comes to mind: CHARISMA. Including members of Wax Museums, Silver Shampoo, Wiccans, and Bad Sports, not to mention all the other things these guys do, Video is a super group Denton, TX has brewed on its own. From the moment they began cranking their songs out, Daniel Fried clutched his microphone with a leather fist, staring into the audience between belting out lyrics and jabbing around on stage. Between songs, he’d talk quietly, but directly, to the audience in a pissed off, disillusioned tone that one can only gain from years of being around people, eating up bullshit, and just being fed up with it. He took breaks to tell everyone how they wasted their money. In the middle of one song, he wrapped and twisted the microphone cord around his neck and face until he was totally tangled. Then somehow, in an instant, he was free, stomping around like an all-out, fully-realized King Kong, bully-

ing the crowd with gestures and angry questions as well as shoving and pinning his own bandmate against the wall so he could sing into his face. Despite the awesome catchiness of the songs, any pop sensibility is not bubble gum. No, boys and girls, this is full on heavy, tough, punk rock letting out long-earned frustration and aggression, while inspiring fear in all the good ways and coming across as one hundred percent real while doing it. As stunning as their live show is, their

new record, Leather, Leather, does such a good job of capturing the bass driven, shred storm of songs, with tones that let you know these guys are pissed and aren’t fucking around. From the first seconds of “Make Me Bleed,” Leather, Leather immediately locks you into a slew of awesome songs that are bound to get stuck in your head for days. The album ends with “Any Worse?” which leaves you wanting more in a way that’s so nice. The first time I listened to it I had to play it twice.

vip STaTuS aT The mOhaWk
NOv 15TH AT THe MOHAWk
by Lisa van Dam-Bates
My sophomore year of high school, I was awarded the honor of Homecoming Princess. I felt like royalty. One of the coolest parts of the experience was getting free tickets to the dance. I doubt I would’ve gone if I’d had to buy them (I didn’t go the year before), but being a “special” guest felt like it could be the very height of my social life. On November 15th, The Austin Cut was contacted by Mark Sultan’s tour manager. She asked if we wanted to go to his show at the Mohawk later that night, and possibly write about it. She gave us 14 4 four slots on the guest-list (very generous) and told us to identify ourselves at the door. I felt like a celebrity or something, getting into this random show for free. It’s not like there were tons of people waiting and we got to cut in line or anything, but it was still kind of sweet. I suppose this is pretty standard protocol when you run a newspaper, but we’re relatively new and haven’t gotten many VIP perks yet. We tried to arrive on time, and I think we did an okay job because we got there about half way through the first band’s set. Simple Circuit is from Austin. I missed the majority of their set because I was late, but what I did catch sounded like a less-produced Thermals (if that’s possible). They weren’t very energetic. Maybe it’s hard to get really hyped up for a show when nobody is even there yet. We went outside and sat on the stage that was still wet from the rain. While waiting for the next band to set up, I sipped on some tequila, Espolon (blanco), not bad. The Zoltars, also a local band, played next. They sounded like a lazy sort of garage-rock band. Kind of “chill” vocals, and the kind of music you tap your heal and zone out to. Next up was A Giant Dog. They’re also from Austin. They started off their set strong and everyone seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves. The singer, who was female, was wearing some white cowgirl boots with tassels and purple sweatpants tucked in and rolled over at the top. I remember thinking to myself (somewhat snidely, although I couldn’t spot Louis Vuitton a mile away) “what the fuck is she wearing?” I pushed

The Austin Cut, December 2011 | austincut.com

through the then tight crowd of people to use the ladies room and when I returned, the front woman had removed her pants and boots (and hopefully socks), and was singing and dancing in nothing more than her over-sized shirt and some panties. I’m not sure why, but this made me like her more than I had just two minutes before, it was ballzy of her. That was just the warm-up to their set. A Giant Dog is a punk band, but the vocals are better than your average “I can’t sing, so I’ll just scream” kind of punk norm. This lady could actually sing. The band played hard, she drank hard (spilling beer all over herself and the crowd at some points) and everyone was going nuts. About halfway through the set, it seemed that they had been playing for an exceptionally long time, but I didn’t want it to end. The break between bands was long and by the time that Mark Sultan came on, my ears were ringing. I walked by a

really cozy looking armchair right by the entrance of the room the show was in. I couldn’t resist. I sat there and sort of spaced out for the majority of his set, but it was quite pleasant with him playing in the background. It was like listening to the Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack (there’s nothing better) or some kind of seamless Broadway musical. I peaked inside after what felt like an hour to see what it looked like. Mark Sultan is a fashionably sensible middleaged male (in my opinion, fashionably sensible enough to be gay, and he was basically singing Broadway, but that’s beside the point). He was playing drums (with his feet only), playing guitar, and talking between belting out lyrics to his dramatic songs. He’s Canadian like me, but he’s from Montreal, a much hipper area than my birthplace. Even though he’s so far from home, he’s got a small crowd of real fans here, so that’s something.

Sabrina, the vocalist of A Giant Dog, presumably drunk and tearing it up

Coming This December: Planets - Planets This killer self titled record will now be availble on cassette! Plus an an all new Planets/Foreign Mothers split cassette that's bound to get burned in your brain! Trashcancitytapes.webs.com

ONE MAN'S TRASH, IS ANOTHER MAN'S PLEASURE.
Rock N' Roll Cassettes From Austin's Own!
austincut.com | The Austin Cut, December 2011

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D e C e M B e R 2 0 1 1 S H O WS L I S T
dec. 1
James Arthur’s Manhunt w/ Obnox, The Dead Space, Party Lines

decemBeR 1ST - 3Rd
about half boys and raging eyes. The Moody Theater 9:00pm

James Arthur’s Manhunt (Austin) are a hard driving classic bar rock band. If you’re a fan of The Mentors’ actual music, you might be into this band. The Dead Space are a super raw Austin post punk band with 60s rhythms and tones. Red 7 7:30pm

Grateful Dead Tribute Night featuring Deadeye
Another psychedelic jam fest by Grateful Dead cover band Deadeye. The Parish 9:00pm

Cirus and Greg Kineer. Collective Soul frontman Ed Roland will be playing his solo work. Casper Rawls is an expert Americana musician who plays country, folk, blue grass and various other forms of American roots music. La Zona Rosa 7:00pm

& the Naturals
It’s going to be a psychedelic garage show. Headlining is The Boxing Lesson (Austin) who play psychedelic melancholy garage rock. Some of their music sounds like it could be put in a Toshiaki Toyoda soundtrack. The Preservation (Austin) play 60s influenced alternative pop rock. Magnificent Snails (Austin) have a garage pop style with songs full of catchy melodies. If you like Spoon than you’d probably enjoy them. Waldo (Austin) is a classic pop rock band with music similiar to Elvis Costello during his golden years. The Swan Dive 9:00pm

Rachel Yamagata w/ Mike Viola
Rachael Yamagata writes renowned singersongwriter pop rock and has a song in almost every hit T.V. show that has lately become a pop culture staple. Mike Viola, of the Candy Butchers, plays acoustic pop ballads. The Parish 8:00pm

Mente Clara
Mente Clara (Austin) is a jazz group fronted by sax player Brian Donanoe that covers Brazilian songwriters. Skinny’s Ballroom 9:30pm

The Devil Makes Three w/ Brown Bird

The Devil Makes Three are a Santa Cruz Americana folk rock band with upbeat to dark cabaret tendencies and lyrics about the virtues of typical American vices.The Dancing Devil, from Rhode Island, play gloomy folk rock. Stubb’s Inside 8:00pm

Little Brave w/ Holiday, Beau Jennings
Little Brave (Austin) is an alt folk group fronted by singer songwriter Stephanie Briggs. Holiday (Austin) is an easy listening indie pop rock band with iconic breathy vocals. Singer-songwriter Beau Jennings (Brooklyn) will be playing Americana style indie rock. Frank 9:30pm

Pastures w/ The Sweet Nuthin’, Greg Mullen
The Sweet Nuthin’ (Austin) play modern country rock. If you’re a fan of Kings of Leon, there’s a good chance you may like this band too. Pastures (Austin) are a country garage rock band. Pastor Cory Cross (Austin) has an acoustic country folk rock sound. Greg Mullen (Austin) plays pop folk rock in the musical territory of Jonathan Richmond. Skinny’s Ballroom 8:00pm

Mojo Nixon’s BobbleHead Tour with Dash Rip Rock
Dash Rip Rock play southern hard rock and rockabilly from New Orleans with lyrics about partying and meth chicks. Continental Club 10:00pm

MiMOSA w/ Vibe Squad, Bogl

Dub step electronic show with renowned party DJ’s. MiMOSA (L.A.) has been a big name in DJing for a while and for good reason. Vibe Squad (Colorado) utilize a very eclectic style of DJing. BOGL (San Francisco) play an awesome mix of hyphy, dubstep, and various electronic dance music. La Zona Rosa 8:00pm

dec. 3
Church Shoes
Church Shoes play lo-fi bluesy and country garage rock.

Back In Time with Go Go Garcia and Jonathan Ackerman
DJ dance party featering DJs Go Go Garcia (Houston) and Jonathan Ackerman mixing throw back dance classics all night. Beauty Bar 10:00pm

The Impalers, Wiccans, Criaturas,The Creamers, Whitecrime
Help Emo’s Downtown go out in style. This will be one of the last shows at the soon-to-be “old location.” The Impalers, Austin d-beat hardcore/thrash are headlining. They’ll be playing stuff off their new self-titled 7”. Wiccians (Denton, members of Video), and Austin locals, Criaturas, The Creamers, and Whitecrime, will all be playing in what is bound to be a showcase of some of Texas’ best hardcore/punk music. This is a five-dollar show, a deal any punk fan would be stupid to ignore. Emo’s Inside 8:00pm

Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

That Damned Band w/ Erik Hokkanen, The Atomic Duo

The Wood Brothers w/ Carsie Blanton
The Wood Brothers write harmonizing hillbilly rock from Atlanta. Carsie Blanton, from Philadelphia, sounds like a mix of indie folk and late 90s pop rock.

That Damned Band (Austin) are an acoustic folk blues group with severe Balkan influences. They sing songs about goblins and evil circus happenings. Erik Hokkanen (Austin) is a former folk music professor and expert mulch-instrumentalist who is well acquainted with various forms of roots music and ethnic varieties of folk music. The Atomic Duo play Woody Guthrie inspired Americana folk with lyrics chalk full of social commentary. Antone’s 8:00pm

dec. 2
Norma Jean w/ Oh, Sleeper, Stray From the Path, Lower than Atlantis, Ready the Messenger
This show is all about metal-core. Norma Jean, the Georgia metal-core phenomenon, is headlining. Oh, Sleeper from Fort Worth play scary-sounding nü-metal-core with the occasional emotional pre-chorus or gang vocals. Stray From the Path is a Long Island metal-core band with elements of screamo and modern hardcore. Lower than Atlantis are a British pop rock group with emo and metal core influences. Also playing is Ready the Messenger, a power metal-core band from Austin. Emo’s East 6:00pm

The Parish 8:00pm

Will Hoge w/ Rob Baird, Reed Turner
Will Hoge is a Nashville pop rock singersongwriter with the new album “Number Seven,” he also wrote the theme song for the CBS sitcom, Still Standing. Rob Baird (Austin) makes really poppy country rock. Reed Turner (Austin) plays catchy heartland and folk rock.

This Moment in Black History w/ Black Congress, Weird Party
This Moment in Black History is a loosely political heavy lo-fi punk band from Cleavland with classic stoner influences like Black Sabbath and Hendrix. Black Congress (Houston) is a super dissonant psychedelic punk band with heavy stoner riffs. Weird Party (Houston) play caustic punk with old school tones and modern song writing. Red 7 9:00pm

The Beat Dolls

Austin pop punk with the occasional metal riff or ska song. Trophy’s 8:00pm

Stubb’s Inside 9:00pm

McMercy Family Christmas Show
McMercy Family Band are a mostly a’Capella folk group with morbid religous lyrics.

Crooked Fingers w/ Strand of Oaks

Triggermen w/ DENT-DE-LION
Triggerman (Austin) are a joke rap trio with songs about bar fights and being in embarrassing situations. DENT-DE-LION (France) is an acapella beat boxer who also likes to make a lot of use with his performance space. Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

Crooked Fingers play alt rock with a country twang and currently hail from Denver. Strand of Oak (Philadelphia) is a band by singer songwriter Timothy Showlater that plays down tempo folkish blue grass rock ballads. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

Outlaw Nation w/ TinCan Phone
Outlaw Nation is a reggae group from Louisiana. Some of their good songs sound like Sean Paul and Le Tigre with rapping in a thick African accent, but most sound like a grab bag of every form of reggae. TinCan Phone (Austin) plays classic bar-rock reggae-rapping remanisent of the Flobots. Flamingo Cantina 9:00pm

Skinny’s Ballroom 9:00pm

Soul Track Mind w/ Sheer Khan
Soul Track Mind (Austin) play bluesy bar rock with a horn section. Sheer Khan (Austin) is a reggae pop groove band.

Wilco w/ Nick Lowe

Alpha Rev w/ Ed Roland (of Collective Soul), Casper Rawls
Alpha Rev (Austin) is a pop rock sensation that writes sentimental ballads. Their song “New Morning” can be found on the soundtrack of Julie Anne Robinson’s The Last Song, a coming of age film starring Miley

Frank 9:30pm

Modern alt-rock superstars Wilco (Chicago) play alternative acoustic indie pop ballads and will be promoting their new album Whole Love. British creeper Nick Lowe will be playing catchy 70s pop songs from his heyday

Frank Smith w/ The O’s
The O’s are an acoustic pop bluegrass, folk band from Dallas. Frank Smith (Austin) is a pop country rock singer-songwriter.

The Boxing Lesson w/ The Preservation, Magnificent Snails, Waldo

Mohawk Inside

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10:00pm

Big Sean w/ Cyhi The Prince, Shawn Chrystopher, Doughbeezy
Big Sean is a rapper from San Francisco with a delivery similar to Drake, rapping over tranquil beats. Cyhi The Prince from Georgia specializes in accessible club music with a thuggish attitude. Shawn Chrystopher is an Inglewood rapper with a very modern style. Doughbeezy is an up and coming Houston rapper with songs ranging from snap music to club anthems.

Emo’s East 7:00pm

decemBeR 3Rd - 9Th
Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

The Cirrus Logic Guitar Orchestra with special guest The Deuce!
The Cirrus Logic Guitar Orchestra is a band with 15 guitars in it. It’s kind of a spectacle. Each guitarist also adds their own form of bizarre charisma to the band. Stubb’s Inside 8:00pm

The Sea and Cake w/ My Education
The Sea and Cake (Chicago) play chill indie pop and are known for their noticeable jazz influence. My Education (Austin) play ambient and droney alt pop rock. Mohawk Outside 7:30pm

The Hang w/ Wildcat, Navasota String Band, Marshall & The Moondance, Sara Joyner
This is such a weird mix of bands, because none of these bands really have anything in common. The Hang (Austin) specialize in country rock with the occasional country pop rock song in the vein of Blues Traveler. Wildcat (Austin) crunch out southern hard rock with rockstar sympathies. Navasota String Band is an old school true-to-form country folk band from Austin. “Folk” as in genre, not persona. Marshall & The Moondance (Austin) are a modern and young indie pop rock group with ambient songwriting. Sara Joyner (Austin) breathily sings dismal folk love songs. Red Eyed Fly Inside 8:30pm

The Shadow Spectrum
Manic heavy hardcore from Austin that sounds a little like System of a Down. Trophy’s 8:00pm

Emo’s East 10:00pm

Cave w/ Dikes of Holland, Marriage, Naw Dude
Cave (Chicago) play minimalist psychedelic dance music similar to E.S.G., but more electronic. Dikes of Holland (Austin) play hard driving poppy garage rock with lots of echo and reverb. Marriage are a blues rock trio from Athens, Georgia. Naw Dude, from Austin, play modern thrash hardcore. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

dec. 4
The National w/ Local Natives
Brooklyn rockstars, The National, sound a lot like Coldplay or U2 with baritone 80s vocals. Local Natives, from L.A., have an indie pop rock sound with vocal harmonies similar to Fleet Foxes and Animal Collective.

Knifight w/ Hot Rod Radio, Dudes Die
Knifight (Austin) is a jangly electro dance band with songs about cyborgs and being insecure. Hot Rod Radio (Austin) have an alternative power pop sound. Dudes Die (Austin) play slightly rockabily with lots of harmonizing and quiet indie pop melodies. Frank 9:30pm

Austin Music Hall 7:00pm

The Wailers w/ Duane Stephenson, Dub Gideon
If you’re unaware of whom the Wailers are, I’m sure you have a perfectly reasonable explanation, but for future reference, they were Bob Marley’s backing band. They’re still writing music, still touring the world, and they’re coming to Austin. Duane Stephenson is a Jamaican singer-songwriter who writes songs about a brighter future, marijuana, and features various other forms of positive lyrical content. Dub Gideon plays reggae grooves from San Antonio. Antone’s 9:00pm

The Hang w/ Wildcat, Navasota String Band, Marshall & The Moondance, Sara Joyner
This is such a weird mix of bands, because none of these bands really have anything in common. The Hang (Austin) specialize in country rock with the occasional country pop rock song, in the vein of Blues Traveler. Wildcat (Austin) crunch out southern hard rock with rockstar sympathies. Navasota String Band is an old school true to form country folk band from Austin. Folk as in genre, not persona. Marshall & The Moondance (Austin) are a modern and young indie pop rock group with ambient songwriting. Sara Joyner (Austin) breathily sings dismal folk love songs. Red Eyed Fly Inside 8:30pm

Cake
Stupid vocals and all that late 90s/early 2000s shit. Stubb’s Outside 7:00pm

Mr. Gnome w/ The Baker Family
Mr. Gnome (Cleavland) is an ambient indie rock band with the occasional wall of noise. The Baker Family (Austin) play indie pop rock, they also have some slow and not very poppy drone songs. Emo’s Inside 10:00pm

Mayhem w/ Keep Of Kalessin, Hate, Abigail Williams Norweigan black metal legends, Mayhem, are coming to Austin.
Also on tour, shrouded in a blanket of CGI Lord of the Rings imagery, is Keep Of Kalessin (Norway), playing a mixture of black-death metal and thrash. Hate (Warsaw) have a modern death metal sound. L.A. band Abigail Williams play melodic black metal. Emo’s East 9:00pm

dec. 9
The Chariot w/ Vanna The Crimson, Armada, Former Thieves, Listener
The Chariot, from Georgia, play modern hardcore with blast beats and some grind core thrown in the mix. Vanna are a Boston pop hardcore band with the occasional emotional chorus. The Crimson (Austria) play modern pop metal. Red 7 5:00pm

dec. 7
Dead Cat Dead Rats w/ Code Named Code
Dead Cat Dead Rats (Boston) play big sounding alt rock, pop punk similar to The Arctic Monkeys. Code Named Code (Austin) make mathy modern alternative pop rock. Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

Zechs Marquise w/ Equals, Parking
Zechs Marquise (El Paso) play nostalgic prog rock. Equals (San Marcos) make richly layered ambient rock from San Marcos. Parking is an Austin rapper; a lot of people like his eclectic rap influences. Antone’s 9:00pm

dec. 5
Eliot James
Eliot James (Chico, California) plays soothing pop-scapes with Bruno Mars like vocals with the occasional autotuned harmony. Red Eyed Fly Inside 8:00pm

Stewart Gersmann w/ Jarrett Killen, Michael Kingcaid, Danny Malone
Stewart Gersmann (Austin) plays gentle acoustic singer-songwriter music. Jarret Killen (Austin) has a heartland, folk rock sound. Michael Kingcaid (Austin) makes acoustic, modern, pop folk. Danny Malone (Austin) plays acoustic indie pop with a little bit of folk melodies. Mohawk Inside 8:30pm

Kimya Dawson
Being half of the group, The Moldy Peaches, Kimya Dawson is probably most recently famous for the Juno song “Anyone Else But You.” She’s also made a bunch of children’s songs that don’t sound a lot different from her regular songs. St. David’s Episcopal Church 7:00pm

Psychic TV, w/ CHANT, Coma in Algiers, DJ Sliver
Psychic TV are a legendary psychedelic pop group headed by pandrogynous Genesis Breyer P-Orridge. He and his late wife got a bunch of plastic surgeries to look like each other (http://www.planetdamage.com/wpcontent/uploads/2008/08/01_genesis_p_orridge.jpg) after winning a law suit of 1.5 million against Rick Rubin from barely surviving a fire at one of Rick Rubin’s houses. CHANT, from Austin, play industrial power pop. Coma in Algiers, also from Austin, have a uniue blend of experimental lo-fi garage punk and no wave. Elysium 9:00pm

dec. 6
Mushroomhead w/ One Eyed Doll, Headcrusher, Human Factors Lab, Tenafly Viper
Nü-metal staples Mushroomhead will be rock’n the house with industrial metal jams. Be sure to bring an evil mask, face paint, or gas mask bong. One Eyed Doll is an Austin band that makes pop nü-metal. They have lyrics about being a beautiful freak. Headcrusher is an Austin band verging on tough guy hardcore and metalcore. Human Factors Lab is an industrial band from Florida, which is fitting, according to Love Line, since everything fucked up and twisted comes from either Germany or Florida. Tenafly Viper plays alternative nü-metal from Cleveland.

Neon Cobram w/ Stiff Nites, Zenith Fuzzbomb
Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

dec. 8
Jerry Seinfeld’s Atrophied Sac w/ Night Viking
Jerry Seinfeld’s Atrophied Sac is a noise band with irregular melodies and rhythms and a bunch of wild horn sounding instruments. Night Viking (Austin) are a lo-fi no wave group with comedic and childish lyrics.

Digitalism w/ Data Romance
Digitalism make house and electro pop from Hamburg. Their tour is being sponsored by Jagermeister, so you should try and capitalize on that somehow. Data Romance play electro pop from Vancouver, with American Idol style vocals. The Parish 8:00pm

We’ll Go Machete w/ Pswingset, The Gary, Skyscratchers
All the bands on this bill have a sort of post rock sound. We’ll Go Machete (Austin) have a post-rock post-hardcore sound, you might like them if you’re a fan of At the Drive-In, or

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Pswingset (Austin) who play post pop rock. The Gary (Austin) are mostly an alt rock band with the occasional noisy post rock part. Skyscratchers (Austin) sound like alternative pop post rock. Scoot Inn 9:00pm play thrashy hardcore. Ovary Action make minimalistic heavy punk with neurotic vocals. Trip Crystals are a noisy post hard core group that has the rare honesty to admit their inspiration from emo. Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

decemBeR 9Th - 13Th
Frank 9:30pm

Verbal Abuse w/ SS Kaliert (Germany), Embrace

Indofin w/ Steady Legend
Indofin (Austin) play marijuana-centric ska rock. They were probably influenced by Sublime, but they don’t sound like a Sublime cover band. Steady Legend play ska reggae from Austin with a full horn section and back up singers. Buzzkillers (Austin) is an acoustic ska punk band. Flamingo Cantina 9:30pm

Ledaswan w/ Politics, Western Ghost House
Ledaswan are a San Antonio based modern pop rock. Politics (Austin) play dancey pop rock very similar to Moving Units and Interpol. Western Ghost House have a very melodramatic indie pop rock sound. Frank 9:30pm

Knuckle Rumbler and Scoremore Present: Scarface
Houston Geto Boy rap star Scarface is still performing and still making money. Mohawk Outside 7:00pm

80s hardcore band Verbal Abuse is still touring and more recently put out an album in 2006. Originally, they were from Texas, but they didn’t get famous until they left for San Francisco. SS Kaliert is a hardcore punk band from Germany with a lot of lyrics with social commentary. Embrace the Kill (Portland) play a mix of tough guy hardcore and metal-core. Red 7 10:00pm

Korpiklaani w/ Arkona, Polkadot Cadaver, Forged In Flame
Headlining the show is Korpiklaani, a folk metal band from Finland. This band looks like the Village People of metal. Almost every subgenre of metal garb is accounted for, from Amish neo nazis to a dreadlocked extra from Pirates of the Caribbean. Arkona play operatic power metal from Russia. Polkadot Cadaver is a bizarre metal band from Baltimore, some of their songs are polka inspired (go figure), some of their songs sound like Savage Garden. Forged in Flame, from Cleveland, Ohio, have a driving low-power metal sound and could provide the perfect overture for a Ford truck commercial. Emo’s Inside 8:00pm

David Ramirez and His Band w/ Wild Child
David Ramirez (Austin) has an alt folk pop rock sound. Wild Child (Austin) play catchy indie folk pop. Stubb’s Inside 10:00pm

dec. 12
Born of Osiris w/ Veil of Maya, Carnifex, Structures, Betraying The Martyrs
Another metal-core night in Austin, this time with a little more nü-metal. Born of Osiris is a nü-metal-core band from Illinois. They’ll be supporting their new album The Discovery. Veil of Maya (Chicago) is also a nümetal-core band from Illinois, but they utilize a little more evil vocals than Born of Osiris. Carnifex (San Diego) play death metal-core and will be supporting their album Until I Feel Nothing. Structures (Toronto)sets it self apart from the other bands on the bill with their more frequent use of melodic bridges and sweeps. Betraying The Martyrs (Paris) play Christian-death-metal-core and have a operatic Destiny’s Child cover of “Survivor” on their repertoire. Antone’s 6:30pm

Aqua Jones, The Dry Season, Live Lights, Tom Melancon
Aqua Jones is a funky nü metal band from Austin. The Dry Season (Austin) are an ambient alt pop rock band with lots of effects. Live Lights (Houston) play indie pop rock in a similar genre to The Killers. Tom Melancon (Austin) is an acoustic MILF rock enthusiast, with very soulful alt rock ballads with the vocal styles of Gavin Rossdale and Chad Kroeger. Stubb’s Inside 9:30pm

Brian Setzer’s Rockabilly Riot
Getch ur muscle car and other 1950s stereotypes ready for this one! La Zona Rosa 10:00pm

Sons of Hercules w/ Fleshlights
Sons of Hercules are a haggard garage punk band from San Antonio that have been playing since way back when. They sound as nasty as they look. Fleshlights (Austin) play raw energetic hardcore punk. They rule live and if you haven’t seen them yet, you’re missing out. The 29th St. Ballroom 10:00pm

Seryn w/ Gold Beach
Seyren are an indie folk pop band from Denton. Gold Beach (Austin) make ambient pop rock with a modern Beach Boys sound. Mohawk Inside 10:00pm

Scratch Acid w/ When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth
Scratch Acid from Austin is a band of historic punk deities who moved on with their lives, but kept taking the stage again and playing their own original brand of absurd noise punk. Occasionally, when you ask somebody what their band sounds like they’ll drop the words psychedelic or noise, but they really aren’t either of those descriptions, they just wish they were. When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth (Austin) could be accurately described by both of those buzz words. Emo’s East 9:00pm

The Fling w/ Yukon Blonde
The fling play alternative pop rock, from Long Beach, with the occasional country twang. Yukon Blonde are an indie pop rock trio from Vancouver, Canada. Emo’s Inside 10:00pm

dec. 11
Stomach Poop Vol. 1 with Johnathan Cash, Aunt’s Analog, Jeffi Deluxe, Control (live soundtracked by Dakota Hogback and How I Quit Crack), Anus Morissette, R. Lee Dockery, DJ Nickelforth
Aunt’s Analog (Austin) descibes its music as harsh noise, screeching feedback, static rumbles, and shrill electronics. That’s exactly what it sounds like, but it’s also really, really loud. Jeffi Deluxe does lo-fi auto-tuned rap with sarcastic and shock-value lyrics. He also has a bunch of YouTube videos where he’s depressed or breaking stuff. Anus Morissette has a video from one of his Trailer Space shows that has a bunch spliced Simpsons scenes playing on a T.V. while he hits his head against a stool that looks like it has bacon on it. R. Lee Dockery (Austin) makes drone music. Salvage Vanguard Theater 7:00pm

Cruciamentum (UK) w/ Mournful Congregation (Australia), Pallbearer, Ritual Necromancy, Anhedonist
A slow death night with a variety of downtempo death metal bands. Cruciamentum play melodic death metal from the UK. Mournful Congregation play funeral doom from Austrailia. Pallbearer from Little Rock are a stoner death band with alternative nücrooning for vocals. Ritual Necromancy from Portland actually play at regular death metal speed. Anhedonist from Seattle play a mix of melodic death and stoner death. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

Derek Larson and the Leavers
Derek Larson and the Leavers are an up and coming blues country rock group from Burleson, Texas. Skinny’s Ballroom 11:00pm

Peach Kelli Pop (members of White Wires) w/ Bad Sports, CC Bloom, The Best
Both of the headlining bands on the bill have a kind of 50s bubble gum pop sound. Bad Sports (Austin) play old school punk with lots of resonating white noise. Peach Kelli Pop, from Ottawa, Canada, have White Wires affiliations and make lo-fi garage pop. They also have a really j-pop looking video out for their single “Do the Eggroll.” Beerland 9:00pm

Dave Alvin
L.A. poppy blues ballads with alt rock crooning. Continental Club Midnight

dec. 13
Winds Of Plague, Chelsea Grin, As Blood Runs Black, For The Fallen Dreams, Upon A Burning Body, In The Midst Of Lions, Like Moths to a Flame
LOTS OF SCREAMO/METALCORE. I’m going to dress up with my son’s black skinny jeans, youth large Underoath t-shirt, makeup, and pretend it’s 2002. If you don’t have these items, I know a special place in the mall that might ... Emo’s East 5:00pm

dec. 10
Rhett & Dean w/ Air Traffic Controllers
Rhett and Dean (Austin) are a drum and guitar duo that play heavy balls to the wall power rock. Air Traffic Controllers (Austin) have a noisy no-wave pop rock sound. Frontier Bar

Josh Caterer
Chicago’s Smoking Pope’s front man will being playing his style of 90s alternative pop punk. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

Black Tusk w/ Monstro, Kyng
Black Tusk are a metal band from Savannah, Georgia with various stoner, sludge, or hardcore parts in their songs. They’ll be on tour promoting their new album “Set the Dial.” Monstro is a heavy metal band from Atlanta. Kyng (L.A.) has a modern hard rock sound with a lot of classic metal riffs. Emo’s Inside 9:00pm

Naw Dude w/ Ovary Action, Trip Crystals
Hardcore punk show. Naw Dude (Austin)

Scorpion Child
Classic 70s hard rock with soaring vocals. From Austin.

Trampled by Turtles w/ William Elliot Whitmore

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Trampled by Turtles (Minnesota) play really poppy folk with bluegrass melodies. William Elliot Whitmore (Iowa) does acoustic rock ballads with vocals similar to Mark Knopfler. The Parish 8:00pm fuzzed-out Rockabilly. Long-time Austin punks, Jesus Christ Superfly, will also be playing. FREE SHOW. Emo’s Inside 9:00pm

decemBeR 13Th - 20Th

dec. 14
Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers w/ Jon McLaughlin
Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers make uplifting, upbeat feel-good pop rock from North Hampton, Massachusetts. They use tubas and accordions in their live shows, also. Singer songwriter Jon McLaughlin has had a few of his songs featured in commercials and movies. One of the more noticeable ones was the film “Enchanted” in which he also has a role. The Parish 7:30pm

Jessie Torrisi & The Please, Please Me, Dsoedean
Jessie Torrisi (Austin) plays twangy, dreamy indie / alt-country. Light hearted and poppy. For fans of Regina Spektor, Feist, etc. Skinny’s Ballroom 10:00pm

featured in a lot of famous shit. They got their first big break from being on the Spiderman 3 soundtrack. Currently, their stuff is featured on the CW show Vampire Diaries. If you like slow, ambient, shoegaze-y stuff with sappy vocals check them out. Stubb’s Inside 9:30pm

Emo’s Inside 9:00pm

Clutch
1990s rock stars, Clutch (Germantown, Maryland), play a mix of a lot of genres and influences, in their grungy style: funk, rock (Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin), Ozzy-style power vocals, etc. For fans of Faith No More and corny, over-the-top shit. Emo’s East 9:00pm

dec. 17
Auto Body
Expect a high-energy dance show. You will be assaulted with strobe lights and bass. Auto Body have been doing this since the mid 90s, and they’ve only gotten better. Don’t forget your personal stash. You wouldn’t wanna be the only sober person at this show. Mohawk Outside 8:00pm

dec. 16
Blood Money Drive: Post Modern Undead, Boy + Kite, Scorpion Child, Dolls from the Crypt and More
“About ten years ago” the person behind this event, “sat down to write a poem about a vampire.” Over the years, they decided to turn this into a movie. (Could it have anything to do with the massive influx of cash generated by Twilight?) Go to this fundraiser if you want to see this project come to life. Mohawk Outside 6:00pm

dec. 18
Gerard’s Christmas Birthday Bash w/ Flesh Lights, John Wesley Coleman lll, Simple Circuit, The Dead Space
Get your ass down here for an Austin punk rock birthday bash! Lots of good local Austin bands are playing: Flesh Lights (high energy punk rockers with the most ripping female drummer I’ve seen), John Wesley Coleman III (psych / proto indie punk in the vein of Kinks, Television, Lou Reed, Roky Erickson), Simple Circuit (noisy garage punk), The Dead Space (spacey, hot-and-cold weirdo-rock). Get loaded and get to this show. Beerland 9:00pm

From The Mind Of Adi presents The Couch (CD release) w/ Zlam Dunk, Little Radar
The Couch (Austin) make modern and sensitive alt pop rock, the kind you would here during the intro credits of an indie sitcom classic. Zlam Dunk (San Marcos) have a mixed sound of first wave emo and modern alt pop rock. I saw them once and their set was pretty punk, but ended with them all pounding on some form of a drum. Little Radar (Austin) play lo-fi mathy indie pop rock. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

Snake Skin Prison presents “A Very Metal Christmas”
Snake Skin Prison (Austin) is a 6th street Lynyrd Skynyrd with a shitload of double bass. The Parish 8:00pm

Doug Burr
Singer-songwriter Doug Burr from Denton will be playing an acoustic set. For fans of “touching” lyrics, and stuff that would normally be accompanied by slight orchestration and piano. Mohawk Inside 9:00pm

Sin Orden
Sin Orden (Chicago) are a wild, thrashy hardcore punk band. They seem to be youthcrew influenced (breakdowns), but with drum corps-like drumming (What Happens Next?). At times, their singer sounds like an animal that is being whipped over and over. Lyrics in Spanish. For fans of Los Crudos. This show should be wild. BYOB. Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

Clutch
See show on 17th for description. Clutch is playing for the second night in a row in Austin. Emo’s Inside 9:00pm

dec. 15
Devin the Dude
Devin the Dude is a true “rapper’s rapper” if there is such a thing. Complex, often strange lyrics, chilled out beats. He’s classic. If you’re into DJ Screw, or a Rap-a-lot fan, go see the Dude. (PS: Didn’t Willie D get arrested for scamming people online by selling an iPhone and then never sending it? FREE WILLIE D!) Mohawk Outside 7:00pm

The Electric Frankenstein, The Hookers, Swingin’ Dicks
The Electric Frankenstein (New Jersey) play rock ‘n’ roll, in the vein of AC/DC, but with more “punk” vocals. They bill themselves as “THE WORLD’S GREATEST HIGH ENERGY PUNK ROCK & ROLL BAND!” They’re cheezy, and almost have rockabilly art / style. Red 7 9:00pm

dec. 19
Black Cobra, Zoroaster, The Body, Scycrawler
Black Cobra (San Francisco) are a twopiece “heavy” metal band. Expect downtuned, steady riffing with the occasional breakdown, lots of headbanging, and black shit. For fans of Celtic Frost, Motorhead, High on Fire, etc. Emo’s Inside 9:00pm

The Invincible Czars “Nutcracker”, Graham Reyolds and The Golden Arm Trio, Zachary Bass
Graham Reynolds and The Golden Arm Trio will be performing holiday favorites. Bring your X-mas sweater. Skinny’s Ballroom 7:30pm

Grieves and Budo w/ K. Flay
“Heartfelt” ... “deep” ... those are some of the words to describe Grieves’ rhymes. Take that and throw in some eclectic instrumentation (trumpet). Check this out if you wanna see skinny white kids rapping. Stubb’s Inside 9:00pm

The Energy, OBN lll’s, Secret Prostitutes
If the Stones magically lost 50 years of age and became a wild punk band, OBN III’s (Austin) is what it might sound like. The Secret Prostitutes are a punk band from Houston. They almost sound like they’re fronted by someone from a Japanese hardcore band. They play intricately riffed, raw punk, with some stuff that verges on Fat Wreck Chords material. The Energy, who is headlining the show, are a cheesy, incredibly poppy punk rock group. For fans of Boys Night Out, Disney Channel punk, etc. Their music was featured on MTV’s Real World. Beerland 9:00pm

Unmothered
Austin-based Unmothered is a two-piece metal band. Their clips online remind me of Emperor’s Prometheus: The Discipline of Fire & Demise and something from the Twisted Metal soundtrack. All shit that my friends would kill me for listening to. Beerland 9:00pm

dec. 20
Bob Hoffnar
Austin’s Bob Hoffnar plays a strange mix of classical and jazz. Some of the music sounds like the Star Wars soundtrack when the Jawas are trying to kidnap R2D2. Skinny’s Ballroom 7:00pm

Mr. Lewis & The Funeral 5
Dark, minor bluesy indie music. Mustaches and suits were featured heavily in their SXSW 2011-backed music video. At times, their music almost sounds like the soundtrack to a western, during a part where the bad guy shows up. Beerland 9:00pm

Man or Astroman?, Fuckemos, Thighmaster, Cunto
Man or Astroman? (Auburn, Alabama) have been playing indie “surf” rock music since the early 90s. They sound unique, with often strange indie punk influences. Also playing are Austin-legends Fuckemos, who are uniting to play their brand of metal / rock. Emo’s Inside 9:00pm

Young///Savage, Twilight Broadcast, Smile For Diamonds
Young///Savage (Austin) play noisy, vocalcentric indie punk. Their songs are intense and complex, with sometimes emotional vocals. Some of their songs almost sound like emo / screamo riffs from the mid-2000s, minus those awful screamo vocals. Twilight Broadcast (Austin) play indie-pop, with jazzy riffs and “good” (you know, like he’s trying to sing well) vocals. BYOB. Trailer Space Records

Agony Column, Flash Boys, Blunt Force Trauma
Agony Column, oldschool Austin (as in they’re from Austin in the 80s) metal, reunite to play sludgy oldschool thrash / death metal with vocals verging on joke territory. The Flash Boys (Austin) play throwback 70s punk. Think Stooges and Ramones.

Dead End Cruisers, Bulemics, The Motards, The Chumps, Jesus Christ Superfly
The Dead End Cruisers will be playing noisy, harmony-laiden rock. For fans of

Sounds Under Radio
Austin’s Sounds Under Radio, have been

20 4

The Austin Cut, December 2011 | austincut.com

D e C e M B e R 2 0 1 1 S H O WS L I S T
7:00pm

Skrew, The Blood Royale, Mala Suerte, Beyond The Blood
Benefit for Adam Grossman who fronted the industrial metal band Skrew (Austin), which was formed in 1990. Grossman was diagnosed with Kidney Cancer and will need your support. Emo’s Inside 9:00pm

you’re in a Major Lazor video. Beauty Bar 9:30pm

decemBeR John Wesley- 31ST (ex. 20Th Coleman Blower
Didjits), The Negatives, Scrabble Robot
The kind of energy I expect to feel here is the kind that makes you wanna’ join your friends arm-in-arm and just get sloshed on strictly the cheapest beer available. John Wesley Coleman could make a catchy indie tune about anything, like he did with “Ohh Basketball.” Emo’s Inside 9:00pm

ISHI, Soldier Thread, The Burning Hotels, Bali Yaaah
One pinch of psychedelic electro from Bali Yaaah, add The Burning Hotels ambient pop, a little of that over-the-top dance rock Soldier Thread, and smother in that ISHI groovy gravy. Recipe for a killer night. Mohawk Inside 10:00pm

World line ‘em up as Corpus Christi trombone punks Soviet Spies knock ‘em down. Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

Killdozer, Women In Prison, Rituals
Killdozer is louder than Reverend X (if you don’t know what the hell we’re talking about, look him up on YouTube), but sweeter than honey. This noise rock band has more past members than Nick Cannon has had virgins, and Killdozer has been rippin’ since 1983. Women in Prison is cashing in on shock value ridiculousness. They claim their songs only take an hour to write and record, but they’re doin’ pretty well, so if it ain’t broken, why fix it? Emo’s Inside 9:00pm

dec. 21
HAPPY HOUR “BEAR TO LIVE!” BIKE NIGHT
Get fucked up and crash your motorcycle after a night of free pool, darts, ping pong and oh yeah, that free shot of whiskey that sent you over the edge. Captain Jim on top of the music, crankin’ solid rock. Mohawk Outside 5:00pm

dec. 23
Robert Kraft Trio
Soulful crooning and moderate jazz from the school of hard knocks. Continental Club 8:30pm

dec. 27
Ghosts Along the Brazos, Bob Hoffnar
“Play and write music that you believe in, and others will believe in it too.” That’s Ghost Along the Brazos’ philosophy for playing the most “believed in” music in the region: bluegrass/soul/country/folk. Bob Hoffnar is a classically trained musician who composes and performs songs for his pedalsteel guitar. I look forward to seeing how Bob plays live. Skinny’s Ballroom 6:30pm

Tim Curry Trio, Ukulele Night
With more covers than Rolling Stone magazine, Tim Curry Trio isn’t actually fronted by the guy we all know well from Stephen King’s It. But what they lack in Tim Curry, they make up for in soul. Afterwards, be ready with your Ukelele for a play along lesson with Sweetpea and for those who have been practicing on the side: open mic. Skinny’s Ballroom 6:00pm

Christmas Eve Party With The White White Lights And DJ Kid Slyce
The White White Lights (Austin) play a variety of genres from country to electronic to minimalist pop rock. DJ Kid Slyce (Austin) mixes and mashes hip hip and pop classics. Beauty Bar 10:00pm

dec. 31
NEW YEARS EVE 1977
POWERFUL: Talking Heads, Cheap Trick, Suicide, The Runaways, Blondie, Fleetwood Mac, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, and Television all here from the void all in one sacred night? (Cover bands, BRAH, but from all your favorite local artists and it’s gonna’ be mothafuggin’ wicked.) The 29th St. Ballroom 8:00pm

dec. 28
Tim Curry Trio
Soul, baby! Just about every Wednesday at Skinny’s. Skinny’s Ballroom 6:00pm

dec. 24
Barebones Orchestra presents Holiday Happy Hours
Even if you don’t make it out to Skinny’s Ballroom to check out their holiday performance, you can hear Barebones Orchestra’s newest jam sesh via Google group every Wednesday until the end of time or when Yellowcard stops touring, whichever comes first. Skinny’s Ballroom 5:00pm

The Millipede
Somewhere between Jello Biafra and HeMan lies The Millipede’s vocals, but for some reason I ended up listening to their track “Let Loose The Kraken” several times anyways. Beerland 9:00pm

Bearracuda Austin
Be ready to tear up the dance floor at Bearracuda. There’ll be no hibernating this winter as DJ Ted Eiel heats up Austin’s gay night life for the number one bear party of the year. ND at 501 Studios 8:00pm

Shit Creek, High Dive
Shit Creek’s September release of “Lust For Brains” is raw punk with a moneyback guarantee if you hear that shit don’t wanna’ kill your mom. Trailer Space Records 7:00pm

Yip Deceiver, Wild Moccasins
For the universe to maintain balance, something small and innocent must die in China every time Gerogia’s Yip Deceiver writes a new power pop song. I don’t imagine you’ll find a more cheerful indie pop band in Houston than Wild Moccasins.

dec. 25
Jazz pickup night
I played pickup soccer at my middleschool back in the day, but I never had the idea of applying the same concept to forming a band. Sounds open minded. I’ll bring a skin flute and let ‘em all try runnin’ solos. Skinny’s Ballroom 9:00pm

dec. 29
Milkdrive
Austin acoustic folk with violins and clever picking. Something about them reminds me of a renaissance fair. In case you didn’t know where to get your fix on this particular night of the week. Skinny’s Ballroom 6:00pm

Hayes Carll with Shovels and Rope & Sideshow Tramps

Mohawk Inside
10:00pm

You’ve heard blues country before, and you can hear more if you show up to La Zona Rosa for New Year’s. La Zona Rosa 8:30pm

dec. 22
Karl Morgan, Carson Alexander, Jonathan Jeter
Karl Morgan has some wild ass guitar playin’ that bodes well for him in the thoroughly explored territory of country/blues. Carson Alexander remembers his roots busking the strip in Memphis, and takes inspiration from psychedelic rock guitar of the 60s and 70s. Jonathan Jeter should just play up sharing last names with that one baseball player who fucked the shit out of Mariah Carey in the late 90s. His John Mellencamp’y originals won’t take him far. Skinny’s Ballroom 6:00pm

The Black Angels, Wooden Shjips, Ume
Austin’s own psychedelic rock getup The Black Angels takes us into the new year, but not before Wooden Shjips and Ume blow your mind, individually. Unless you already promised your World of Warcraft clan that you would meet them online, it may be worth checking out. Emo’s East 9:00pm

You Got Me F@#%ed Up with DJ Tweedy & Friends
Get down to one of these. Get fucked up off of 1 dollar drinks and dance like hell. Happy Birthday, Jesus. 10:00pm

Quintron, Mind Spiders, Manatees, The Flesh Lights
Quintron synth is overwhelming at times, and it’s just insane with all the extra sounds. Mind spiders is reminiscent of 60s surf but with a slight 70’s punk twinge. Expect the night to peak early with the dirving Manatee and hard hitting punk the Flesh Lights.

dec. 26
Marshall Anderson, Open mic!
After they’re done mopping the shit off the floor and walls from my open mic performance, Marshall Anderson will serenade you with a progressive folk rock set. Auburn Public Theater 7:00pm

Emo’s Inside
9:00pm

dec. 30
Soviet Spies, Fight the World, Deadwords
A pit stop on the “Winterror Tour.” Deadwords’ youth crew reminds us to “Forget the past.” Straight-edge pop-punkers Fight the

New Year’s Eve 2011! T. Bird and The Breaks with The Sideshow Tragedy
Big band blues, a Stubb’s BBQ buffet, and a champagne toast at midnight to start off the new year sounds pretty sweet. Unless you don’t wanna be the guy who has to admit he went to Stubb’s for New Year’s. Stubb’s Inside 9:00pm

Nite School with DJ Scorpio
Hella grooves, old and new. Shit you’ve heard, and a lot more you haven’t. Grind like

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, December 2011

21 3

So people think the Mayan calendar predicts the world’s end in 2012. How much do you know about The Mayans, anyway?
by Tim Lambert
In November, there were earthquakes in Oklahoma. In October, there was a much larger earthquake in Van, Turkey, killing more than 500 people. In the United States, 700 people have been killed in weather-related deaths this year, most of them from the tornado outbreaks in the spring, but also from hurricane Irene and the related flooding in the Northeast. And how could we forget the earthquake and ensuing Tsunami that clobbered Japan and lead to the worst nuclear energy disaster since Chernobyl? Could these be the end times? Many people believe the ancient Maya predicted the world would come to an end on December 21, 2012. Using a calendar system developed sometime before 500 BC, could these people, who were thought to have worshiped time, have predicted the end of the world? Uh, no. Although the date December 21, 2012 does predict the end of something, it’s not the world. It is the end of a cycle that repeats itself every 144,000 days (about 394 and a half years) called a b’ak’tun (pronounced bak-tune). Next December will be the start of the 14th b’ak’tun, so start thinking of a good new b’ak’tun resolution now. Covering an area from the highlands of Honduras and Guatemala to the lowlands of southern and central Mexico, the Yucatan Peninsula was the kingdom of the Maya until about 900 AD. They were cut off from what Europeans thought was the world up until at least the 1200s. In isolation from the western hemisphere, these people developed civilizations that were remarkably similar to those of Africa, Europe, and Asia. They developed a calendar system much more complex than ours (based on precise astronomy), had large populations in cities based on farming and agriculture, and they even developed one of a handful of original writing systems. The largest pyramid, by volume, ever constructed was Mayan. The Mayan calendar was created for the same reason as the Gregorian calendar: people needed to know when to do stuff. They had to understand when it would be rainy and when it would be hot to know when to plant their food. No society would have ever survived without a great supply of vittles. Every single civilization in Europe and Asia relied on farming in their formative years like a bottle to a baby, and the Maya were no different. Instead of the wheat and barley the Mesopotamians used to make bread, the Mesoamericans had maize, a crop that had been cultivated over thousands of years by the first peoples to inhabit the area. Not the bright yellow sweet corn you get at the store, but that real hard, multicolored shit. Grind that stuff up, make some tortillas, add some beans, and you get what dietitians call the ‘total package.’ When a group of people figure out how to grow as much food as possible using the smallest amount of labor, civilizations prosper. When less and less people spend their time growing or hunting food, they use their time to do a whole bunch of other stuff. As the crops prospered and cities began to grow, like all ancient civilizations, the Maya created their own specific culture and society. Stone tools used for hunting, carving, and large scale construction were developed, as well as cultural tools like the calendar, religion, and the most artistic style of writing ever invented. The earliest discoveries in Mayan writing date back to around 300 BC, from the San Bartolo site in northern Guatemala. Although cuneiform dates as far back as 3000 BC (!), three hundred years before Christ is nothing to sneeze at, especially considering the ancestors of the Mayans had to either walk or speedboat to the Yucatan. Now, they didn’t really have an ‘alphabet’ per se, but they did have hieroglyphs (glyphs) that expressed words and ideas in single symbols, as well as sounds that make up words in single symbols. The first westerners to see it were Spanish colonists and missionaries. One day in 1592, a priest named Diego de Landa decided he’d had enough of these symbols he couldn’t understand. So he gathered up as much Mayan writing as he could find and set it on fire.* Scores of books of Mayan writing (known as codices), and thousands of ‘cult images’ were burned, nearly ridding the world of any long-term knowledge of the writing. Luckily, four of these codices were saved and served as the basis for all work being done today on the decipherment of the Mayan glyphs. Right now, there are countless archaeological excavations of Mayan sites in central and southern Mexico, northern Guatemala, and Belize, (hundreds more have never even been touched) each with its own unique culture, art, and history. By uncovering more and more of this 10 quadrillion-piece puzzle, linguists and archaeologists have worked together to decode much of the Mayan script. They have known for decades that the sites are covered in writing in the form of giant carved stone pillars called stelae, temple staircases (62 steps that go 33ft high, covered in 2,200 glyphs), and painted murals, but only recently have they known what it means. Even with their limited amount of research, scientists have already uncovered some incredibly interesting history including the story of K’inich Yax K’uk’ Mo’ (say: Kinnich Yash Kook Moe) the founder of the 400-year Copán dynasty. It was the middle of the rainy season in the jungles of Guatemala on December 9th, 435 AD, during the classic period of the Maya. The people living in the city of Copán were in mourning. On this day, the first of the 10th b’ak’tun, their ruler, Yax K’uk’ Mo’ died. His son took command and thus begun the dynasty that would control Copán until the early 800s. Most likely coming from the central Mexican city of Teotihuacan (one of the largest pre-Colombian cities), although some say he had ties to Tikal (the largest Mayan city of the era), Yax arrived in Copán around 426 AD to a region controlled by feuding factions. He was able to unite the people (most likely by force) and started building great temples and monuments almost immediately, the likes of which Copán’s peoples had never seen before. After only nine years as king, Yax K’uk’ Mo’ died, but he left a bloodline that was pumping the red stuff through the next 15 rulers of the city. His heirs took after him and continued large-scale construction, starting first with a tomb. Three hundred and thirty-one years after his death, the 16th and final ruler of Copán finished a pyramid on top of Yax’s tomb that measured 100ft tall. Not bad when you think that every single brick in the pyramid was laid by hand. Most of the things being dug up haven’t been touched or even seen since they were buried. In some cases, that means a pot or a rock used to carve rock (how ironic) were set down 2,600 years ago and never thought about again. In others, it means that one of the largest pyramids ever created by humans was simply forgotten! At the pre-classic Maya site of El Mirador, a pyramid named ‘La Danta’ towers 230ft above the jungle floor. Starting as a tomb, much like that of Yax K’uk’ Mo,’ the beginnings of La Danta date back to 300 BC (around 1,000 years before the classic period), although it is not known for whom it was started, yet. Another recent discovery at the El Mirador site is an enormous carving of the Popul Vuh, the Maya creation story that is hundreds of meters long and a few meters high. To give you an idea of the richness of their society, this carving was on the side of a pool filled with drinking water, not a temple of a past king or god. Finding these pieces of forgotten history is no less significant than if they were just now uncovering the ruins of An-

ThiS happened

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I’m a 420 typical college guy (who’s active) looking for a good time with a sugah daddy, or whatever… [email protected]

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I want someone with money who can save me from whoring myself out (not literally) at the bar. I’m attractive and you have to be too. [email protected]

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cient Greece, a civilization that flourished just 100 years before the people of El Mirador. “Well, Tim, if they were sooooo great, where are they now? What happened to them?” Pshhh, I dunno. Nobody does! That’s the little twist at the end that has everyone feeling as confused as they were after seeing 1991’s Barton Fink. It seems as though most of the pre-classic Mayan cities such as El Mirador were pretty much abandoned by 100 AD and the classic cities such as Tikal and Copán around 900. What caused this is still unknown. Unfortunately, Mayan scribes did not think to carve in stone the reasons why they were leaving the city. They might have written it down, but all of that garbage was burned in the name of the Lord. Hallelujah! The theory that is thought to be most likely true is one that we still think of as a problem today: overuse of resources. Intense farming is always detrimental to the nutrients in the soil, and burning 1,000 acres of land to cover one building with lime plaster (and all the buildings were covered with lime plaster) probably didn’t help their cause, either. No matter what brought their demise, the cities and cultures of the Maya were amazing at their height and we have just barely begun to understand them. *The day was July 12th, 1592, which I know, isn’t in December. If it were in December we could say that the priests only burned these incredible artifacts because they had nothing else to burn in the long, freezing, hellish conditions that are winters in the Yucatan. But it wasn’t so we can’t.

austincut.com | The Austin Cut, December 2011

22 3

Keeping it local on the

East Side
We’re proud to support our East Austin arts & local businesses. Come by East Side Pies for a slice of our Farm to Table pizzas, made daily with local produce from East Austin urban farms. Now serving gluten-free options at both locations!

1401 B Rosewood Ave Austin, TX 78702 512.524.0933 5312 Airport Blvd. #G Austin, TX 78751 512.454.PIES
Or you can grab a slice at one of these fine local establishments:

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