The Effects of Divorce on Children; Edwin Rideout 2008
Content
Rideout 1
The Effects of Divorce on Children Emerging research reveals the long-term effects of divorce on children depend upon many variables, such as; age of the child at the time of divorce, gender, personality-type, and the amount of expressed-conflict between divorcing parents. In-spite-of the obvious negative fall-out from divorce, there are ways and means where by the parent(s) can serve as shock absorber(s) and in so doing; encourage children to thrive amidst the turbulence of their parents ‘divorce.’ A ship’s wake is a fascinating exhibit; as the ship plows along it displaces tiny organic molecules--such as decomposed plankton--on the surface of the water and in its trail remains a smooth wake, something like a winter road that has just been snow-plowed. The center of the wake is smooth but the two sides each have an accumulated pile-up. These stretch behind the ship on either side of the wake like ribbons. In many ways divorce is a similar phenomena; it often clears the cluttered path of current conflicts while leaving behind ribbons of emotion and confusion. The challenge for couples becomes one of determining and practicing a path-of-action which will place the needs of their children over their own ordeal; thereby, lessening the impact upon their most prized possession- children. According to Dr. Constance R. Ahrons work; The Good Divorce, “…every thirteen seconds, someone in North America finalizes their divorce” (x). A cursory look at statistics in Canada for the past 20 years reveal that between
Rideout 2
70,000 and 95,000 families are affected by divorce annually - “one million families in the United States are affected by this devastating process every year yet not one of the couples likes getting divorced. They agonize over it usually for years, and say it has been the most difficult time of their lives. It ranks right at the top of the personal stress index, second only to the death of a loved one” (Ahrons x). This trend is not unique to secular society; “a recent study by ‘The Barna Group’ found among all born again Christians, which includes evangelicals, the divorce figure is 32 percent, which is statistically identical to the 33 percent figure among non-born again adults” (Christian Post.com). A study authorized by Department of Sociology, Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, MD conducted by AJ Cherlin, FF Furstenberg Jr, L Chase-Lansdale, KE Kiernan, PK Robins, DR Morrison, and JO Teitler involving a sub-sample of British and American children reveal much about the short-term effects of divorce on the children affected. 100 children who were in two parent families at age seven were followed through to the age of 16 via. series of interviews. Parents and teachers independently rated the children's behavior problems, and the children were given reading and mathematics achievement tests… Children whose parents divorced or separated…were compared to children whose families remained
Rideout 3
intact. For boys, the apparent effect of separation or divorce on behavior problems and achievement at the later time point was sharply reduced by considering behavior problems, achievement levels, and family difficulties that were present at the earlier time point, before any of the families had broken up. For girls, the reduction in the apparent effect of divorce occurred to a lesser but still noticeable extent once preexisting conditions were considered. (D. W. Hango and S. K. Houseknecht) A similar study conducted by Judith S. Wallerstein; Julia M. Lewis & Sandra Blakeslee published in The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study probed even deeper into issues surrounding the effects of divorce on children. Their study visits the adult lives of children who endured the pain of witnessing their parents divorce. In her role as founder of the Center for the Family in Transition in Corte Madera, Wallerstein,followed a group of children through to their early 40’s. They were astonished to discover post-divorce difficulties are more obvious when the children of
Rideout 4
divorced parents reach adulthood. The stressors become more noticeable as they transition to the commitments associated with mid-life, i.e. marrying, having children, etc. They live with an impending fear of failure, struggle with making life-decisions and although they take the marriage covenant seriously they end up being more likely to divorce than their parents. (284-286) The degree of dysfunction created as result of divorce depends in a large part upon the context and emotional-state of the child at a particular point in time. In their work Putting Children First McDonough and Bartha categorizes the degree of affect based upon the general age of the child or adolescent at the time of the divorce. Preschoolers will have difficulty determining the cause and due to their tendency to see the world as being primarily about them they may come to believe the parent actually left because of them. They also tend to suffer immediate emotional stress and tend to act-outby regressing to earlier behaviors. On the other hand school aged children tend
Rideout 5
to be the most distressed by divorce, and although they no longer believe the world revolves around them they still are unable to decipher the complexities associated with relational dynamics – they accept the loss as a personal one on a very deep emotional level. Their older school-aged siblings take on a little more mature role; they accept the decision but have a tendency to take sides and prefer one parent to the other. The result is often hostility and refusal to come under the authority of the rejected parent. The final group is the adolescent; he/she tends to be very insecure and highly critical. ‘Wallerstein and Kelly’s sample (1980) showed that adolescents are greatly affected by their parents divorce in the area of mate selection. Here the longlasting wounds show themselves… they are more cynical about permanence in relationships…find it hard to make a commitment” (McDonough and Bartha 56). While parents may view ‘divorce’ as a means to create a ‘wake’ in their sometimes cluttered lives, except in rare cases children do not view ‘divorce’
Rideout 6
as an experience which will lead to a more positive end. McDonough and Bartha make the following observation in their book Putting Children First; When a parent leaves the home, the child panics and thinks he/she is losing everything. The child experiences a terrible loss, a tragedy. The departure of one parent, from the home that was shared by both, raises for the child the unhealthy anxiety concerning further losses or complete abandonment… to lose the emotional connection to a parent, is a child’s worst fear. It violates a biologically encoded fear that threatens all children (49). The verdictis in, the empirical evidence clear; ‘divorce has both short and long term negative implications for the children involved. However, Dr. Ahrons claims, “there is such a thing as ‘a good divorce’. In these good divorces, couples part without destroying the lives of those they love. Their children continue to have two parents…the families of these good divorces continue to be just that families” (x). The notion of a ‘good divorce’ may at first seem to be an oxymoron. However, from earliest glimpses obtainable through the patriarch Moses concerning God, we learn God is “a God of mercy and grace, endless patient – so much love, so deeply true – loyal in love for a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, rebellion and sin…” (Ex
Rideout 7
34:6-7 The Message). Taken to its fullest extent ‘forgiving iniquity’ actually involves a spiritual act which frees us from every bondage associated with our sin. The Bible has much to say about relationships; in fact, the primary message of the Bible is about relationships. God invested mega-energy into restoring mankind’s relationship with Him and to accomplish His goal He became the initiating agent in the process. A simple reality of divorce is it’s authority to sever a relationship; and every severed relationship creates deep soul-wounds. While reflecting upon her divorce and the impact it was having on her children Jill Burnett made this shocking discovery, “It wasn’t until much later that I began to see that my resentment toward Dave and his relationship with the children was really about me still getting over the fact that we had separated…I certainly did not make it easy for them, caught up as I was with my own emotional state…which must have affected their freedom to enjoy their father” (4,5). The church is a uniquely designed agent with a profoundly relevant message for victims of divorce. We have ‘good news’ for every wounded soul; God is a redeemer – He through the power of His Spirit has empowered us as His ‘agents’ to speak a message of healing to the affected. To accomplish His mission, we must sensitize ourselves to the ‘felt-needs’ of our society and then intentionally place ourselves within reach of the broken. Dr. Ahrons relates the following disturbing observation,
Rideout 8
Over and over again, in my research, my therapy office, and at my lectures, I have heard divorced couples express feelings of shame and isolation, confusion and anguish. To the terrible pain of the breakup of their spousal relationship has been added the pain of ostracization, the pain of anchorlessness and of having no social models that can help them organize the barrage of new, often unwelcome, physical and emotional details. (Ahrons 11) Sadly, in many instances the church has a record of complicating family dynamics as opposed to being an agent of healing and redemption. Barbra LeBey retells the story of a well meaning young mother who went to church to pray, and when she came home she advised her husband that their child was to be baptized in her faith; this resulted in such division that the husband is contemplating divorce and will be seeking the custody of their son (192). The Bible has much to say about ‘divorce’, Malachi 2:16; Matthew 5:31,32; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:1-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:10 are just a few such references. Jesus and others spoke against divorce because of God’s intense love for marriage; likewise, the church must teach against divorce in-order to fulfill her spiritual mandate. Matthew 19: 5 & 6 teaches
Rideout 9
when a man and woman is married they become ‘one flesh’; this is fully manifested in the act of pro-creation. Children are the product of the marriage and the family unit is the environment which serves as the spiritual and emotional incubator in which children thrive; divorce creates havoc in this holy plan. The challenge for the church is one of presenting truth and ministering in grace; the church has a role to play in the arena of the family which becomes increasingly critical when the family unit breaks-down via. 'divorce’. How can the church make ‘good-divorce’ a reality? In their very reliable work, Making Divorce Easier on Children Nicholas Long and Rex Forehand share a very credible study by Mavis Hetherington and her colleagues at the university of Virginia. They discovered children of divorced parents receive considerably more monitoring than those in twoparent homes. They then presented a series of effective means for monitoring adolescents without appearing to be intrusive. Among their recommendations this one is relative to or discussion, “Keep your child in structured activities that are supervised by adults. Youth sports, dance lessons…and church groups are examples of such activities” (141). This is just one means whereby the church can serve the children of divorced couples; by providing a safe loving and accepting environment where they can know they are loved and secure. The individual who was used to being a ‘couple’ also has many felt-needs during the early days following divorce. They need care-groups and friendship-forming opportunities, they need acceptance and a shoulder to lean upon. Karen
Rideout 10
Linamenstates, “Studies have shown that newborn children will die if they are deprived of loving communication with a nurturing caregiver. In fact , even the best nutrition and most sterile environment will not save them if warm words and touch are missing from their lives”(37). Children and adults alike need care and touch; the church is uniquely gifted through its spiritual leadership and equipped through its caring laity to meet the emotional and soulish needs of children and adults dealing with the pain of divorce. They are aided in their task by the Holy Spirit as pointed out by David Benner in his book Strategic Pastoral Counseling (69). The Bible has a message of love and reconciliation which when properly articulated can serve to heal soul wounds and encourage a degree of civility among even divorced couples. In her book Families Apart Melinda Blau recounts her experience in mastering the art of courteous co-parenting; I believed that Mark and I were in the homestretch. Our children were becoming more independent: one in college…the other in boarding school. We had fewer reasons to communicate…six years later I realize how wrong I was…besides sharing impressions of the kids’ progress… we coordinate birthday gifts…discuss the holidays…much to my surprise we have gotten closer in some respects- not married close, co-parent
Rideout 11
close!”(278). The research is disturbing; divorce has dramatic long-term effects on children. The degree of that effect depends on many variables some of which are unavoidable; however, there is also a body of evidence which suggest the negative effects of divorce can be lessened. Parents, extended family and the church through its agents and ministries can serve as shock absorbers and in so doing; encourage children to thrive amidst the turbulence of their parents ‘divorce.’ Barbra LeBay offers a series of very practical guidelines for dealing with stressors resulting from conflicts among which is the suggestion that they obtain “help from a knowledgeable outsider…The objectivity of a professional third party can be curative” (213). Let the church position herself to be that ‘third party’.
Word Count: 2268 Works Cited: Ahrons, Constance R. The Good Divorce, Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart. New York, NY; Harper Collins Publishers, 1994. Benner, David G. Strategic Pastoral Counseling, A Short-Term Structured Model. Grand Rapids, Michigan; Baker Book House, 2005. Blau, Melinda. Families Apart, Ten Keys to Successful Co-Parenting. New York, NY; Berkley
Rideout 12
Publishing Group, 1993. Burrett, Jill. Parenting after Separation, Making the most of family changes. Lane Cove Australia; Shannon Books, 2002. Judith S. Wallerstein; Julia M. Lewis & Sandra Blakeslee. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study. New York, NY; HyperionBooks, 2000 LeBey, Barbra. Family estrangements, how they begin, how to med them, how to cope with them. Marietta, GA; Longstreet Press Inc, 2003. Linamen, Karen S. Parent Warrior, Protecting Your Children through Prayer. Grand Rapids, Michigan; Baker Book House, 1993. Long, Nicholas; Rex Forehand. Making Divorce Easier on Your Child, 50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust. New York, NY; Professional Publishing. 2002 McDonough, Hanna; Christina Bartha. Putting Children First, A Guide For Parents Breaking Up. Toronto, Ont; University of Toronto Press, 1999. Rice, Wayne. Junior High Ministry, A guide to early adolescence for youth workers. Grand Rapids; Zondervan Publishing House, 1998 Switzer, David K. The Minister as Crisis Counselor. Nashville, TN; Abingdon Press, 1974
Rideout 13
Peterson, Eugene. The Message. Colorado Springs, CO; NavPress Publishing Group, 2002
Articles: Marital Disruption and Accidents/Injuries Among Children. D. W. Hango and S. K. Houseknecht (2005) Journal of Family Issues 26, 3-31
Websites: http://www.christianpost.com/article/20080404/31815_Study%3A_Christian_D ivorce_Rate_Id entical_to_National_Average.htm accessed 2008.04.08 http://www.ottawadivorce.com/statistics.htm accessed 2008.04.08
The Effects of Divorce on Children Emerging research reveals the long-term effects of divorce on children depend upon many variables, such as; age of the child at the time of divorce, gender, personality-type, and the amount of expressed-conflict between divorcing parents. In-spite-of the obvious negative fall-out from divorce, there are ways and means where by the parent(s) can serve as shock absorber(s) and in so doing; encourage children to thrive amidst the turbulence of their parents ‘divorce.’ A ship’s wake is a fascinating exhibit; as the ship plows along it displaces tiny organic molecules--such as decomposed plankton--on the surface of the water and in its trail remains a smooth wake, something like a winter road that has just been snow-plowed. The center of the wake is smooth but the two sides each have an accumulated pile-up. These stretch behind the ship on either side of the wake like ribbons. In many ways divorce is a similar phenomena; it often clears the cluttered path of current conflicts while leaving behind ribbons of emotion and confusion. The challenge for couples becomes one of determining and practicing a path-of-action which will place the needs of their children over their own ordeal; thereby, lessening the impact upon their most prized possession- children. According to Dr. Constance R. Ahrons work; The Good Divorce, “…every thirteen seconds, someone in North America finalizes their divorce” (x). A cursory look at statistics in Canada for the past 20 years reveal that between
Rideout 2
70,000 and 95,000 families are affected by divorce annually - “one million families in the United States are affected by this devastating process every year yet not one of the couples likes getting divorced. They agonize over it usually for years, and say it has been the most difficult time of their lives. It ranks right at the top of the personal stress index, second only to the death of a loved one” (Ahrons x). This trend is not unique to secular society; “a recent study by ‘The Barna Group’ found among all born again Christians, which includes evangelicals, the divorce figure is 32 percent, which is statistically identical to the 33 percent figure among non-born again adults” (Christian Post.com). A study authorized by Department of Sociology, Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, MD conducted by AJ Cherlin, FF Furstenberg Jr, L Chase-Lansdale, KE Kiernan, PK Robins, DR Morrison, and JO Teitler involving a sub-sample of British and American children reveal much about the short-term effects of divorce on the children affected. 100 children who were in two parent families at age seven were followed through to the age of 16 via. series of interviews. Parents and teachers independently rated the children's behavior problems, and the children were given reading and mathematics achievement tests… Children whose parents divorced or separated…were compared to children whose families remained
Rideout 3
intact. For boys, the apparent effect of separation or divorce on behavior problems and achievement at the later time point was sharply reduced by considering behavior problems, achievement levels, and family difficulties that were present at the earlier time point, before any of the families had broken up. For girls, the reduction in the apparent effect of divorce occurred to a lesser but still noticeable extent once preexisting conditions were considered. (D. W. Hango and S. K. Houseknecht) A similar study conducted by Judith S. Wallerstein; Julia M. Lewis & Sandra Blakeslee published in The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study probed even deeper into issues surrounding the effects of divorce on children. Their study visits the adult lives of children who endured the pain of witnessing their parents divorce. In her role as founder of the Center for the Family in Transition in Corte Madera, Wallerstein,followed a group of children through to their early 40’s. They were astonished to discover post-divorce difficulties are more obvious when the children of
Rideout 4
divorced parents reach adulthood. The stressors become more noticeable as they transition to the commitments associated with mid-life, i.e. marrying, having children, etc. They live with an impending fear of failure, struggle with making life-decisions and although they take the marriage covenant seriously they end up being more likely to divorce than their parents. (284-286) The degree of dysfunction created as result of divorce depends in a large part upon the context and emotional-state of the child at a particular point in time. In their work Putting Children First McDonough and Bartha categorizes the degree of affect based upon the general age of the child or adolescent at the time of the divorce. Preschoolers will have difficulty determining the cause and due to their tendency to see the world as being primarily about them they may come to believe the parent actually left because of them. They also tend to suffer immediate emotional stress and tend to act-outby regressing to earlier behaviors. On the other hand school aged children tend
Rideout 5
to be the most distressed by divorce, and although they no longer believe the world revolves around them they still are unable to decipher the complexities associated with relational dynamics – they accept the loss as a personal one on a very deep emotional level. Their older school-aged siblings take on a little more mature role; they accept the decision but have a tendency to take sides and prefer one parent to the other. The result is often hostility and refusal to come under the authority of the rejected parent. The final group is the adolescent; he/she tends to be very insecure and highly critical. ‘Wallerstein and Kelly’s sample (1980) showed that adolescents are greatly affected by their parents divorce in the area of mate selection. Here the longlasting wounds show themselves… they are more cynical about permanence in relationships…find it hard to make a commitment” (McDonough and Bartha 56). While parents may view ‘divorce’ as a means to create a ‘wake’ in their sometimes cluttered lives, except in rare cases children do not view ‘divorce’
Rideout 6
as an experience which will lead to a more positive end. McDonough and Bartha make the following observation in their book Putting Children First; When a parent leaves the home, the child panics and thinks he/she is losing everything. The child experiences a terrible loss, a tragedy. The departure of one parent, from the home that was shared by both, raises for the child the unhealthy anxiety concerning further losses or complete abandonment… to lose the emotional connection to a parent, is a child’s worst fear. It violates a biologically encoded fear that threatens all children (49). The verdictis in, the empirical evidence clear; ‘divorce has both short and long term negative implications for the children involved. However, Dr. Ahrons claims, “there is such a thing as ‘a good divorce’. In these good divorces, couples part without destroying the lives of those they love. Their children continue to have two parents…the families of these good divorces continue to be just that families” (x). The notion of a ‘good divorce’ may at first seem to be an oxymoron. However, from earliest glimpses obtainable through the patriarch Moses concerning God, we learn God is “a God of mercy and grace, endless patient – so much love, so deeply true – loyal in love for a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, rebellion and sin…” (Ex
Rideout 7
34:6-7 The Message). Taken to its fullest extent ‘forgiving iniquity’ actually involves a spiritual act which frees us from every bondage associated with our sin. The Bible has much to say about relationships; in fact, the primary message of the Bible is about relationships. God invested mega-energy into restoring mankind’s relationship with Him and to accomplish His goal He became the initiating agent in the process. A simple reality of divorce is it’s authority to sever a relationship; and every severed relationship creates deep soul-wounds. While reflecting upon her divorce and the impact it was having on her children Jill Burnett made this shocking discovery, “It wasn’t until much later that I began to see that my resentment toward Dave and his relationship with the children was really about me still getting over the fact that we had separated…I certainly did not make it easy for them, caught up as I was with my own emotional state…which must have affected their freedom to enjoy their father” (4,5). The church is a uniquely designed agent with a profoundly relevant message for victims of divorce. We have ‘good news’ for every wounded soul; God is a redeemer – He through the power of His Spirit has empowered us as His ‘agents’ to speak a message of healing to the affected. To accomplish His mission, we must sensitize ourselves to the ‘felt-needs’ of our society and then intentionally place ourselves within reach of the broken. Dr. Ahrons relates the following disturbing observation,
Rideout 8
Over and over again, in my research, my therapy office, and at my lectures, I have heard divorced couples express feelings of shame and isolation, confusion and anguish. To the terrible pain of the breakup of their spousal relationship has been added the pain of ostracization, the pain of anchorlessness and of having no social models that can help them organize the barrage of new, often unwelcome, physical and emotional details. (Ahrons 11) Sadly, in many instances the church has a record of complicating family dynamics as opposed to being an agent of healing and redemption. Barbra LeBey retells the story of a well meaning young mother who went to church to pray, and when she came home she advised her husband that their child was to be baptized in her faith; this resulted in such division that the husband is contemplating divorce and will be seeking the custody of their son (192). The Bible has much to say about ‘divorce’, Malachi 2:16; Matthew 5:31,32; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:1-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:10 are just a few such references. Jesus and others spoke against divorce because of God’s intense love for marriage; likewise, the church must teach against divorce in-order to fulfill her spiritual mandate. Matthew 19: 5 & 6 teaches
Rideout 9
when a man and woman is married they become ‘one flesh’; this is fully manifested in the act of pro-creation. Children are the product of the marriage and the family unit is the environment which serves as the spiritual and emotional incubator in which children thrive; divorce creates havoc in this holy plan. The challenge for the church is one of presenting truth and ministering in grace; the church has a role to play in the arena of the family which becomes increasingly critical when the family unit breaks-down via. 'divorce’. How can the church make ‘good-divorce’ a reality? In their very reliable work, Making Divorce Easier on Children Nicholas Long and Rex Forehand share a very credible study by Mavis Hetherington and her colleagues at the university of Virginia. They discovered children of divorced parents receive considerably more monitoring than those in twoparent homes. They then presented a series of effective means for monitoring adolescents without appearing to be intrusive. Among their recommendations this one is relative to or discussion, “Keep your child in structured activities that are supervised by adults. Youth sports, dance lessons…and church groups are examples of such activities” (141). This is just one means whereby the church can serve the children of divorced couples; by providing a safe loving and accepting environment where they can know they are loved and secure. The individual who was used to being a ‘couple’ also has many felt-needs during the early days following divorce. They need care-groups and friendship-forming opportunities, they need acceptance and a shoulder to lean upon. Karen
Rideout 10
Linamenstates, “Studies have shown that newborn children will die if they are deprived of loving communication with a nurturing caregiver. In fact , even the best nutrition and most sterile environment will not save them if warm words and touch are missing from their lives”(37). Children and adults alike need care and touch; the church is uniquely gifted through its spiritual leadership and equipped through its caring laity to meet the emotional and soulish needs of children and adults dealing with the pain of divorce. They are aided in their task by the Holy Spirit as pointed out by David Benner in his book Strategic Pastoral Counseling (69). The Bible has a message of love and reconciliation which when properly articulated can serve to heal soul wounds and encourage a degree of civility among even divorced couples. In her book Families Apart Melinda Blau recounts her experience in mastering the art of courteous co-parenting; I believed that Mark and I were in the homestretch. Our children were becoming more independent: one in college…the other in boarding school. We had fewer reasons to communicate…six years later I realize how wrong I was…besides sharing impressions of the kids’ progress… we coordinate birthday gifts…discuss the holidays…much to my surprise we have gotten closer in some respects- not married close, co-parent
Rideout 11
close!”(278). The research is disturbing; divorce has dramatic long-term effects on children. The degree of that effect depends on many variables some of which are unavoidable; however, there is also a body of evidence which suggest the negative effects of divorce can be lessened. Parents, extended family and the church through its agents and ministries can serve as shock absorbers and in so doing; encourage children to thrive amidst the turbulence of their parents ‘divorce.’ Barbra LeBay offers a series of very practical guidelines for dealing with stressors resulting from conflicts among which is the suggestion that they obtain “help from a knowledgeable outsider…The objectivity of a professional third party can be curative” (213). Let the church position herself to be that ‘third party’.
Word Count: 2268 Works Cited: Ahrons, Constance R. The Good Divorce, Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart. New York, NY; Harper Collins Publishers, 1994. Benner, David G. Strategic Pastoral Counseling, A Short-Term Structured Model. Grand Rapids, Michigan; Baker Book House, 2005. Blau, Melinda. Families Apart, Ten Keys to Successful Co-Parenting. New York, NY; Berkley
Rideout 12
Publishing Group, 1993. Burrett, Jill. Parenting after Separation, Making the most of family changes. Lane Cove Australia; Shannon Books, 2002. Judith S. Wallerstein; Julia M. Lewis & Sandra Blakeslee. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study. New York, NY; HyperionBooks, 2000 LeBey, Barbra. Family estrangements, how they begin, how to med them, how to cope with them. Marietta, GA; Longstreet Press Inc, 2003. Linamen, Karen S. Parent Warrior, Protecting Your Children through Prayer. Grand Rapids, Michigan; Baker Book House, 1993. Long, Nicholas; Rex Forehand. Making Divorce Easier on Your Child, 50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust. New York, NY; Professional Publishing. 2002 McDonough, Hanna; Christina Bartha. Putting Children First, A Guide For Parents Breaking Up. Toronto, Ont; University of Toronto Press, 1999. Rice, Wayne. Junior High Ministry, A guide to early adolescence for youth workers. Grand Rapids; Zondervan Publishing House, 1998 Switzer, David K. The Minister as Crisis Counselor. Nashville, TN; Abingdon Press, 1974
Rideout 13
Peterson, Eugene. The Message. Colorado Springs, CO; NavPress Publishing Group, 2002
Articles: Marital Disruption and Accidents/Injuries Among Children. D. W. Hango and S. K. Houseknecht (2005) Journal of Family Issues 26, 3-31
Websites: http://www.christianpost.com/article/20080404/31815_Study%3A_Christian_D ivorce_Rate_Id entical_to_National_Average.htm accessed 2008.04.08 http://www.ottawadivorce.com/statistics.htm accessed 2008.04.08
