Violence in the Bible

VIOLENCE IN THE BIBLE
Genesis
Because God liked Abel's animal sacrifice more than Cain's vegetables, Cain
kills his brother Abel in a fit of religious jealousy. 4:8
"I will destroy ... both man and beast."
God is angry. He decides to destroy all humans, beasts, creeping things, fow
ls, and "all flesh wherein there is breath of life." He plans to drown them all.
6:7, 17
"Every living substance that I have made will I destroy."
God repeats his intention to kill "every living substance ... from off the f
ace of the earth." But why does God kill all the innocent animals? What had they
done to deserve his wrath? It seems God never gets his fill of tormenting anima
ls. 7:4
"All flesh died that moved upon the earth."
God drowns everything that breathes air. From newborn babies to koala bears
-- all creatures great and small, the Lord God drowned them all. 7:21-23
God sends a plague on the Pharaoh and his household because the Pharaoh beli
eved Abram's lie. 12:17
God tells Abram to kill some animals for him. The needless slaughter makes G
od feel better. 15:9-10
Hagar conceives, making Sarai jealous. Abram tells Sarai to do to Hagar what
ever she wants. "And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled." 16:6
"I will not destroy it for ten's sake."
I guess God couldn't find even ten good Sodomites because he decides to kill
them all in Genesis 19. Too bad Abraham didn't ask God about the children. Why
not save them? If Abraham could find 10 good children, toddlers, infants, or bab
ies, would God spare the city? Apparently not. God doesn't give a damn about chi
ldren. 18:32
Lot refuses to give up his angels to the perverted mob, offering his two "vi
rgin daughters" instead. He tells the bunch of angel rapers to "do unto them [hi
s daughters] as is good in your eyes." This is the same man that is called "just
" and "righteous" in 2 Peter 2:7-8. 19:7-8
God kills everyone (men, women, children, infants, newborns) in Sodom and Go
morrah by raining "fire and brimstone from the Lord out of heaven." Well, almost
everyone -- he spares the "just and righteous" Lot and his family. 19:24
Lot's nameless wife looks back, and God turns her into a pillar of salt. 19:
26
God gets angry with king Abimelech, though the king hasn't even touched Sara
h. He says to the king, "Behold, thou art but a dead man," and threatens to kill
him and all of his people. To compensate for the crime he never committed, Abim
elech gives Abraham sheep, oxen, slaves, silver, and land. Finally, after Abraha
m "prayed unto God," God lifts his punishment to Abimelech, "for the Lord had fa
st closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah." 20:3-18
Sarah, after giving birth to Isaac, gets angry again at Hagar (see 16:5-6) a
nd tells Abraham to 'cast out this bondwoman and her son." God commands Abraham
to "hearken unto her voice." So Abraham abandons Hagar and Ishmael, casting them

out into the wilderness to die. 21:10-14
God orders Abraham to kill Isaac as a burnt offering. Abraham shows his love
for God by his willingness to murder his son. But finally, just before Isaac's
throat is slit, God provides a goat to kill instead. 22:2-13
Abraham shows his willingness to kill his son for God. Only an evil God woul
d ask a father to do that; only a bad father would be willing to do it. 22:10
"Because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine onl
y son."
Why did God love Abraham so much? Because he was willing to murder his son f
or him. (Greater evil hath no man than this, that he is willing to kill his own
son for God.) 22:16
Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, is "defiled" by a man who seems to love her de
arly. Her brothers trick all of the men of the town and kill them (after first h
aving them all circumcised), and then take their wives and children captive. 34:
1-31
"The terror of God was upon the cities that were round about them." 35:5
"And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lor
d slew him." What did Er do to elicit God's wrath? The Bible doesn't say. Maybe
he picked up some sticks on Saturday. 38:7
After God killed Er, Judah tells Onan to "go in unto they brother's wife." B
ut "Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and ... when he went in unto his
brother's wife ... he spilled it on the ground.... And the thing which he did di
spleased the Lord; wherefore he slew him also." This lovely Bible story is seldo
m read in Sunday School, but it is the basis of many Christian doctrines, includ
ing the condemnation of both masturbation and birth control. 38:8-10
After Judah pays Tamar for her services, he is told that she "played the har
lot" and "is with child by whoredom." When Judah hears this, he says, "Bring her
forth, and let her be burnt." 38:24
Joseph interprets the baker's dream. He says that the pharaoh will cut off t
he baker's head, and hang his headless body on a tree for the birds to eat. 40:1
9
God brought a seven year, "very grievous" famine on the whole earth for no a
pparent reason (except maybe to make Joseph wealthy). 41:25-32, 54
Exodus
Moses murders an Egyptian after making sure that no one is looking. 2:11-12
"I will ... smite Egypt with all my wonders." 3:20
God threatens to kill the Pharaoh's firstborn son. 4:23
God decides to kill Moses because his son had not yet been circumcised. 4:24
-26
Moses and Aaron ask the Pharaoh to let all the Israelites go into the desert
to pray for three days, or else God will kill them all "with pestilence, or wit
h the sword." 5:3
"Now shalt thou see what I will do to Pharaoh." 6:1

God will make sure that Pharaoh does not listen to Moses, so that he can kil
l Egyptians with his armies. 7:4
"And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD." Who else could be so crue
l and unjust? 7:5, 17
God tells Moses and Aaron to smite the river and turn it into blood. This is
the first of the famous 10 plagues of Egypt. 7:17-24
The fifth plague: all cattle in Egypt die.
But a little later (9:19-20, 12:29), God kills them again a couple more time
s. 9:6
The sixth plague: boils and blains upon man and beast. 9:9-12
"For I will at this time send all my plagues upon thine heart, and upon thy
servants, and upon thy people; that thou mayest know that there is none like me
in all the earth." Who else but the biblical god could be so cruel? 9:14
God gave power to the Pharaoh so that he could show off his own power by kil
ling him. 9:15-16
The seventh plague is hail. "And the hail smote throughout the land of Egypt
all that was in the field, both man and beast." 9:22-25
God wants to be remembered forever for the mass murder of little children. 1
0:2
These verses clearly show that the mass murder of innocent children by God w
as premeditated. (see 12:29-30) 11:4-6
God will kill the Egyptian children to show that he puts "a difference betwe
en the Egyptians and Israel." 11:7
God explains to Moses that he intends to "smite all the firstborn in the lan
d of Egypt, both man and beast. 12:12
After God has sufficiently hardened the Pharaoh's heart, he kills all the fi
rstborn Egyptian children. When he was finished "there was not a house where the
re was not one dead." Finally, he runs out of little babies to kill, so he slaug
hters the firstborn cattle, too. 12:29
To commemorate the divine massacre of the Egyptian children, Moses instructs
the Israelites to "sacrifice to the Lord all that openeth the matrix" -- all th
e males, that is. God has no use for dead, burnt female bodies. 13:2, 12, 15
"I will harden Pharaoh's heart." 14:4
After hardening Pharaoh's heart a few more times, God drowns Pharaoh's army
in the sea. 14:4-28
The LORD shall fight for you. 14:14
"I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they shall follow them: and
I will get me honour." 14:17
"And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I have gotten me hono
ur upon Pharaoh, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen." 14:18

"And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand over the sea, that the
waters may come again upon the Egyptians." 14:26
"And Israel saw that great work which the LORD did upon the Egyptians." 14:3
1
Moses and the people sing praises to their murderous god. 15:1-19
"The Lord is a man of war." Indeed, judging from his acts in the Old Testame
nt, he is a vicious warlike monster. 15:3
God's right hand dashes people in pieces. 15:6
"For the horse of Pharaoh went in with his chariots and with his horsemen in
to the sea, and the LORD brought again the waters of the sea upon them." 15:19
"Horse and his rider hath he thrown into the sea." 15:21
If you do what God says, he won't send his diseases on you (like he did to t
he Egyptians). But otherwise.... 15:26
Joshua, with God's approval, kills the Amalekites "with the edge of the swor
d." 17:13
"I will utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven." 17:14
"The Lord has sworn [God swears!] that the Lord will have war with Amalek fr
om generation to generation." So God is still fighting Amalek. I hope Moses can
still keep his hand up. 17:14-16
Any person or animal that touches Mt. Sinai shall be stoned to death or "sho
t through." Did Moses impose such severe penalties because he feared that someon
e might see him fake his meeting with God? 19:12-13
Like the great and powerful Wizard of Oz, nobody can see God and live. 19:21
God gives instructions for killing and burning animals. He says that if we w
ill make such "burnt offerings," he will bless us for it. What kind of mind woul
d be pleased by the killing and burning of innocent animals? 20:24
A child who hits or curses his parents must be executed. 21:15, 17
It's okay to beat your slaves; even if they die you won't be punished, just
as long as they survive a day or two after the beating (see verses 21:20-21). Bu
t avoid excessive damage to their eyes or teeth. Otherwise you may have to set t
hem free. 21:26-27
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. 21:24-25
If an ox gores someone, "then the ox shall surely be stoned." 21:28
If an ox gores someone due to the negligence of its owner, then "the ox shal
l be stoned, and his owner shall be put to death.". 21:29
If an ox gores a slave, the owner of the ox must pay the owner of the slave
30 shekels of silver, and "the ox shall be stoned." 21:32
"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." Thousands of innocent women have su
ffered excruciating deaths because of this verse. 22:18

"Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death." Is it really ne
cessary to kill such people? Couldn't we just send them to counseling or somethi
ng? 22:19
"He who sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the Lord only, he shall be utter
ly destroyed." If this commandment is obeyed, then the four billion people who d
o not believe in the biblical god must be killed. 22:20
If you make God angry enough, he will kill you and your family with his own
sword. 22:24
"The firstborn of thy sons thou shalt give unto me." (As a burnt offering?)
22:29
God promises to "send his fear before the Israelites" and to kill everyone t
hat they encounter when they enter the promised land. 23:27
God has hornets that bite and kill people. 23:28
Moses has some animals killed and their dead bodies burned for God. Then he
sprinkles their blood on the altar and on the people. This makes God happy. 24:5
-8
Get some animals, kill them, chop up their bodies, wave body parts in the ai
r, burn the carcasses, and sprinkle the blood all around -- in precisely the way
God tells you. It may well make you sick, but it makes God feel good. 29:11-37
Have your killed and offered your bullock for a sin offering today? How abou
t the two lambs you are supposed to offer each day? 29:36-39
Wash up or die. This is a good verse to use when reminding the kiddies to wa
sh their hands before supper. 30:20
Whoever puts holy oil on a stranger shall be "cut off from his people." 30:3
3
Those who break the Sabbath are to be executed. 31:14
God asks to be left alone so that his "wrath may wax hot" and he can "consum
e them. 32:10
Moses burned the golden calf, ground it into powder, and then forced it down
the throats of all the people. 32:20
God orders the sons of Levi (Moses, Aaron, and the other members of their tr
ibe that were "on the Lord's side") to kill "every man his neighbor." "And there
fell of the people that day about 3000 men." 32:27-28
"Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book." 32:33
But God wasn't satisfied with the slaughter of the 3000, so he killed some m
ore people with a plague. 32:35
If you can't redeem him, then just "break his neck." Hey, it's all for the g
lory of God. 34:20
Whoever works, or even kindles a fire, on the Sabbath "shall be put to death
." 35:2-3
Leviticus

God gives detailed instructions for performing ritualistic animal sacrifices
. such bloody rituals must be important to God, judging from the number of times
that he repeats their instructions. Indeed the entire first nine chapters of Le
viticus can be summarized as follows: Get an animal, kill it, sprinkle the blood
around, cut the dead animal into pieces, and burn it for a "sweet savor unto th
e Lord." Chapters 1 - 9
"Kill the bullock before the LORD ... bring the blood, and sprinkle the bloo
d round about upon the altar." 1:5
"Flay the burnt offering; cut it into pieces." 1:6
Lay ... the head, and the fat ... on the fire which is upon the altar: But h
is inwards and his legs ... burn all on the altar, to be a burnt sacrifice ... a
sweet savour unto the LORD." 1:8-9
"Kill ... before the Lord and ... sprinkle blood round about." 1:11
"Cut it into his pieces, with his head and his fat ... and burn it ... for a
sweet savour unto the Lord." 1:12-13
"If the burnt sacrifice ... be of fowls ... wring off his head, and burn it
... and the blood thereof shall be wrung out." 1:14-15
"For a sweet savour unto the Lord." 1:17
"Part it in pieces... it is a meat offering." 2:6
"It is a thing most holy of the offerings of the LORD made by fire." 2:10
"He shall lay his hand upon the head of his offering, and kill it ... and ..
.. sprinkle the blood ... round about." 3:2
"The fat that covereth the inwards ... and the two kidneys ... and the caul
above the liver.... It is ... a sweet savour unto the Lord." 3:3-5
"He shall lay his hand upon the head of his offering, and kill it ... and ..
.. sprinkle the blood ... round about." 3:8
"The fat ... the whole rump ... the inwards ... the two kidneys ... burn it
upon the altar: it is the food of the offering made by fire unto the LORD." 3:911
"If his offering be a goat ... he shall lay his hand upon the head ... and k
ill it ... and ... sprinkle the blood ... round about." 3:12-13
"The fat that covereth the inwards ... the two kidneys ... and the caul abov
e the liver ... burn them upon the altar; it is the food of the ooffering made b
y fire for a sweet savour." 3:14-16
"All the fat is the Lord's."
When you do your burnt offerings, remember that "all the fat is the Lord's."
(And he doesn't like to share!) 3:16
"Kill the bullock before the Lord and take of the bullock's blood." 4:4
"The priest shall dip his finger in the blood and sprinkle the blood seven t
imes before the Lord." 4:6

"Put some of the blood upon the horns of the altar ... and ... pour all the
blood of the bullock at the bottom of the altar." 4:7
"Take ... all the fat of the bullock for the sin offering; the fat that cove
reth the inwards ... the two kidneys ... and the caul above the liver ... and ..
. burn them upon the altar of the burnt offering." 4:8-10
"And the skin of the bullock, and all his flesh, with his head, and with his
legs, and his inwards, and his dung...."
What to do with the fat, kidneys, liver, skin, head, entrails, and dung from
your burnt offerings. 4:11-12
"Offer a young bullock for the sin ... The bullock shall be killed before th
e Lord." 4:14-15
"Bring of the bullock's blood ... And the priest shall dip his finger in the
blood and sprinkle the blood seven times before the Lord." 4:16-17
"Put some of the blood upon the horns of the altar ... and ... pour out all
the blood ... and ... take all his fat from him, and burn it upon the altar." 4:
18-19
"He shall lay his hand upon the head of the goat, and kill it." 4:24-25
"The priest shall take of the blood of the sin offering with his finger, and
put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering, and shall pour out his bl
ood ... and he shall burn all his fat upon the altar." 4:25-26
"Slay the sin offering ... and the priest shall take of the blood thereof wi
th his finger, and put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering ... and
shall pour out all the blood." 4:29-30
"He shall take away all the fat ... and ... burn it upon the altar for a swe
et savour unto the LORD." 4:31
"Slay the sin offering ... and the priest shall take of the blood thereof wi
th his finger, and put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering and shal
l pour out all the blood." 4:33-35
"He shall bring his trespass offering unto the LORD ... a female from the fl
ock, a lamb or a kid of the goats."
If you touch an insect, dead animal, or "the uncleanness of man" or if you s
wear to do something good or bad (5:2-4), kill a female lamb or goat for God. (A
female will do since it's a minor offense.) 5:6
"If he be not able to bring a lamb, then he shall bring ... two turtledoves,
or two young pigeons, unto the LORD ... and wring off his head."
If you don't have a lamb to kill for God, then you can wring off the head of
a pigeon or dove. 5:7
"And he shall sprinkle of the blood of the sin offering upon the side of the
altar; and the rest of the blood shall be wrung out at the bottom of the altar:
it is a sin offering." 5:9
"The Lord spake unto Moses, saying, If a soul ... sin through ignorance ...
then he shall bring for his trespass unto the LORD a ram without blemish."
If you sin without knowing that you've done anything wrong, kill an unblemis
hed ram for God. 5:14-15
"This is the law of the sin offering: the sin offering [shall] be killed bef

ore the LORD: it is most holy." 6:25
"The trespass offering: it is most holy"
The holy law of trespass offering: Find an animal; kill it; sprinkle the blo
od around; offer God the fat, rump, kidneys, and caul; burn and eat it in the ho
ly place, for "it is most holy." 7:1-6
Kill the trespass offering: and the blood thereof shall he sprinkle round ab
out upon the altar." 7:2
"Offer of it all the fat thereof; the rump, and the fat that covereth the in
wards, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is on them ... and the caul that is
above the liver." 7:3
"It shall be the priest's that sprinkleth the blood of the peace offerings."
7:14
Be careful what you eat during these animal sacrifices. Don't eat fat or blo
od -- these are for God. (And he doesn't like to share!) 7:18-27
"The fat with the breast, it shall he bring, that the breast may be waved fo
r a wave offering before the LORD." Wave the fat and the breast for "a wave offe
ring before the Lord." 7:30
"And the priest shall burn the fat upon the altar: but the breast shall be A
aron's and his sons'." 7:31
"And the right shoulder shall ye give unto the priest for an heave offering.
" 7:32
"He among the sons of Aaron, that offereth the blood of the peace offerings,
and the fat, shall have the right shoulder for his part."
Aaron's sons get the right shoulder from all peace offerings. 7:33
"For the wave breast and the heave shoulder ... a statute for ever."
Be sure to do your wave breast or heave shoulder today. It is a statute forv
er. 7:34
Moses does it all for God. First he kills an animal; wipes the blood on Aaro
n's ears, thumbs, and big toes. Then he sprinkles blood round about and waves th
e guts before the Lord. Finally he burns the whole mess for "a sweet savour befo
re the Lord." 8:14-32
"Aaron and his sons laid their hands upon the head of the bullock for the si
n offering and he slew it." 8:14-15
"Moses took the blood, and put it upon the horns of the altar round about wi
th his finger .. and poured the blood at the bottom of the altar." 8:15
"And he took all the fat that was upon the inwards, and the caul above the l
iver, and the two kidneys, and their fat, and Moses burned it upon the altar." 8
:16
"But the bullock, and his hide, his flesh, and his dung, he burnt with fire
without the camp; as the LORD commanded Moses." 8:17
"Aaron and his sons laid their hands upon the head of the ram. And he killed
it." 8:18-19
"Moses sprinkled the blood upon the altar round about." 8:19

"And he cut the ram into pieces; and Moses burnt the head, and the pieces, a
nd the fat." 8:20
"And he washed the inwards and the legs in water; and Moses burnt the whole
ram upon the altar: it was a burnt sacrifice for a sweet savour, and an offering
made by fire unto the LORD; as the LORD commanded Moses." 8:21
"Aaron and his sons laid their hands upon the head of the ram. And he slew i
t." 8:22-23
"Moses took of the blood of it, and put it upon the tip of Aaron's right ear
, and upon the thumb of his right hand, and upon the great toe of his right foot
." 8:23
"And he brought Aaron's sons, and Moses put of the blood upon the tip of the
ir right ear, and upon the thumbs of their right hands, and upon the great toes
of their right feet: and Moses sprinkled the blood upon the altar round about."
8:24
"And he took the fat, and the rump, and all the fat that was upon the inward
s, and the caul above the liver, and the two kidneys, and their fat, and the rig
ht shoulder." 8:25
"And he put all upon Aaron's hands, and upon his sons' hands, and waved them
for a wave offering before the LORD." 8:27
"Moses ... burnt them ... for a sweet savour." 8:28
"And Moses took the breast, and waved it for a wave offering before the LORD
." 8:29
"And Moses took ... of the blood which was upon the altar, and sprinkled it
upon Aaron, and upon his garments, and upon his sons, and upon his sons' garment
s." 8:30
"Moses said unto Aaron and to his sons, Boil the flesh." 8:31
And that which remaineth of the flesh .... shall ye burn with fire." 8:32
More killing, sprinkling of blood, waiving animal parts, and burning carcass
es "before the Lord." 9:2-21
"Take thee a young calf for a sin offering, and a ram for a burnt offering,
without blemish, and offer them before the LORD." 9:2
"Take ye a kid of the goats for a sin offering; and a calf and a lamb, both
of the first year, without blemish, for a burnt offering." 9:3
"Also a bullock and a ram for peace offerings, to sacrifice before the LORD;
and a meat offering." 9:4
Kill the calf, dip your finger in the blood, sprinkle the blood round about,
burn the fat and entrails, and wave the breast for a wave offering before the L
ord. 9:8-21
"Aaron ... slew the calf of the sin offering." 9:8
"And the sons of Aaron brought the blood unto him: and he dipped his finger
in the blood, and put it upon the horns of the altar, and poured out the blood a

t the bottom of the altar." 9:9
"But the fat, and the kidneys, and the caul above the liver of the sin offer
ing, he burnt upon the altar; as the LORD commanded Moses." 9:10
"And the flesh and the hide he burnt with fire without the camp." 9:11
"And he slew the burnt offering; and Aaron's sons presented unto him the blo
od, which he sprinkled round about upon the altar." 9:12
"And they presented the burnt offering unto him, with the pieces thereof, an
d the head: and he burnt them upon the altar." 9:13
"And he did wash the inwards and the legs, and burnt them upon the burnt off
ering on the altar." 9:14
"And he ... took the goat ... the people, and slew it." 9:15
"He slew also the bullock and the ram ... and Aaron's sons presented unto hi
m the blood, which he sprinkled upon the altar round about." 9:18
"And the fat of the bullock and of the ram, the rump, and that which coveret
h the inwards, and the kidneys, and the caul above the liver." 9:19
"And they put the fat upon the breasts, and he burnt the fat upon the altar.
" 9:20
"And the breasts and the right shoulder Aaron waved for a wave offering befo
re the LORD; as Moses commanded." 9:21
Two of the sons of Aaron "offered strange fire before the Lord" and "there w
ent out fire from the Lord, and devoured them, and they died before the Lord." 1
0:1-2
Moses tells Aaron that his sons were burned to death to sanctify and glorify
God. 10:3
Moses tells Aaron's cousins to drag the burned bodies out of the camp, and h
e warns Aaron not to mourn the death of his sons or God will kill him too, along
with everyone else. 10:4-6
If priests misbehave at the tabernacle by uncovering their heads, tearing th
eir clothes, leaving with holy oil on them, or by drinking "wine or strong drink
", then God will kill them and send his wrath on "all the people." 10:6-9
God will kill any priest that leaves the tabernacle. 10:7
If priests misbehave at the tabernacle by by drinking "wine or strong drink,
" then God will kill them and send his wrath on "all the people." "It shall be a
statute for ever." 10:9
"And the wave breast and heave shoulder shall ye eat in a clean place." 10:1
4
"The heave shoulder and the wave breast ... bring with the offerings made by
fire of the fat, to wave it for a wave offering before the LORD." 10:15
"She shall bring a lamb ... for a burnt offering, and... a young pigeon, or
dove, for a sin offering."
After a woman gives birth, a priest must kill a lamb, pigeon, or dove as a s

in offering. This is because having children is sinful and God likes it when thi
ngs are killed for him. 12:6
"If she be not able to bring a lamb, then she shall bring two turtles, or tw
o young pigeons ... and she shall be clean." 12:8
God's law for lepers: Get two birds. Kill one. Dip the live bird in the bloo
d of the dead one. Sprinkle the blood on the leper seven times, and then let the
blood-soaked bird fly off. Next find a lamb and kill it. Wipe some of its blood
on the patient's right ear, thumb, and big toe. Sprinkle seven times with oil a
nd wipe some of the oil on his right ear, thumb and big toe. Repeat. Finally kil
l a couple doves and offer one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offe
ring. 14:2-32
"Then shall the priest command to take for him that is to be cleansed two bi
rds alive and clean ... and the priest shall command that one of the birds be ki
lled in an earthen vessel over running water." 14:4
"And on the eighth day he shall take two he lambs without blemish, and one e
we lamb of the first year without blemish ... And the priest shall take one he l
amb, and offer him for a trespass offering ... and wave them for a wave offering
before the LORD." 14:10-12
"And he shall slay the lamb ... in the holy place: ... it is most holy." 14:
13
"And the priest shall take some of the blood of the trespass offering, and .
.. put it upon the tip of the right ear of him that is to be cleansed, and upon
the thumb of his right hand, and upon the great toe of his right foot." 14:14
"The priest shall offer the sin offering ... and afterward he shall kill the
burnt offering." 14:19
"If he be poor, and cannot get so much; then he shall take one lamb for a tr
espass offering to be waved ... and two turtledoves, or two young pigeons ... an
d the one shall be a sin offering, and the other a burnt offering." 14:21-22
"And the priest shall take the lamb of the trespass offering ... and the pri
est shall wave them for a wave offering before the LORD:" 14:24
"And he shall kill the lamb of the trespass offering, and the priest shall t
ake some of the blood of the trespass offering, and put it upon the tip of the r
ight ear of him that is to be cleansed, and upon the thumb of his right hand, an
d upon the great toe of his right foot." 14:25
"And he shall offer the one of the turtledoves, or of the young pigeons, suc
h as he can get." 14:30
"Even such as he is able to get, the one for a sin offering, and the other f
or a burnt offering, with the meat offering." 14:31
"When ye be come into the land of Canaan ... I put the plague of leprosy in
... the land of your possession."
God "put the plague of leprosy" on the Canaanites. 14:34
"He shall take to cleanse the house two birds ... And he shall kill the one
of the birds ... And he shall take ... the living bird, and dip them in the bloo
d of the slain bird ... and sprinkle the house seven times ... And he shall clea
nse the house with the blood of the bird." 14:49-52

"On the eighth day he shall take to him two turtledoves, or two young pigeon
s ... and ... offer them, the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt
offering." 15:14-15
"On the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons
... for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shal
l make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness." 1
5:29-30
God warns Aaron that he might have to burn him to death like he did his sons
. (10:1-2) 16:1-2
God explains the use of scapegoats. It goes like this: Get two goats. Kill o
ne. Wipe, smear, and sprinkle the blood around seven times. Then take the other
goat, give it the sins of all the people, and send it off into the wilderness. 1
6:8-28
"Kill the bullock of the sin offering." 16:11
"Take of the blood of the bullock, and sprinkle it ... seven times." 16:14
"Kill the goat of the sin offering, that is for the people, and bring his bl
ood ... and sprinkle it upon the mercy seat." 16:15
"Take of the blood of the bullock, and of the blood of the goat, and put it
upon the horns of the altar round about." 16:18
"He shall sprinkle of the blood upon it with his finger seven times." 16:19
Sprinkle the blood and burn the fat for a sweet savour unto the Lord. 17:6
If you upset God, he'll cause the land to vomit you out. 18:25
"Keep my statutes and my judgments, and shall not commit any of these abomin
ations ... that the land spue not you out also, when ye defile it, as it spued o
ut the nations that were before you." 18:26-28
"Whosoever shall commit any of these abominations ... shall be cut off from
among their people." 18:29
Don't eat sacrifices on the third day or God will cut you off from among you
r people. 19:6-8
"Whosoever ... giveth ... his seed unto Molech ... the people ... shall ston
e him with stones." 20:2
If you refuse to kill someone who gives his seed to Molech, God set his face
against you and your family. 20:4-5
"For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to
death." Couldn't we try spanking first? 20:9
Both parties in adultery shall be executed. 20:10
If a man has sex with his father's wife, kill them both. 20:11
If a man "lies" with his daughter-in-law, then both must be killed. 20:12
If a man has sex with another man, kill them both. 20:13

If you "lie" with your wife and your mother-in-law (now that sounds fun!), t
hen all three of you must be burned to death. 20:14
If a man or woman "lie with a beast" both the person and the poor animal are
to be killed. 20:15-16
People with "familiar spirits" (witches, fortune tellers, etc.) are to be st
oned to death. 20:27
A priest's daughter who "plays the whore" is to be burned to death. 21:9
"Ye shall offer ... a male without blemish ... Blind, or broken, or maimed,
or having a wen, or scurvy, or scabbed, ye shall not offer these unto the LORD .
.. Ye shall not offer unto the LORD that which is bruised, or crushed, or broken
, or cut."
God wants us to kill lots of animals for him. Not just any animals, though.
God only wants dead, male animals without any blemishes. Don't kill any blind ,
broken, maimed, or scabbed, or female animials for him. 22:19-24
God gives us more instructions on killing and burning animals. I guess the f
irst nine chapters of Leviticus wasn't enough. He says we must do this because h
e really likes the smell -- it is "a sweet savour unto the Lord." 23:12-14, 18
Don't do any work on the day of atonement or God will destroy you. 23:29-30
A man curses and blasphemes while disputing with another man. Moses asks God
what to do about it. God says that the whole community must stone him to death.
"And the children of Israel did as the Lord and Moses commanded." 24:10-23
Anyone who blasphemes or curses shall be stoned to death by the entire commu
nity. 24:16
"He that killeth any man shall surely be put to death." 24:17
"If a man cause a blemish in his neighbour; as he hath done, so shall it be
done to him." 24:19
"Breach for breach, eye for eye, tooth for tooth: as he hath caused a blemis
h in a man, so shall it be done to him again." 24:20
"He that killeth a man, he shall be put to death." 24:21
God tells the Israelites to make slaves out of their neighbors and their fam
ilies. The "heathens" and "strangers" are to be their possessions forever. 25:44
-46
God tells the Israelites to "chase" their enemies and make them "fall before
you by the sword." He figures five of the Israelites will be able to "chase" a
hundred of their enemies, and a hundred will be able to "put ten thousand to fli
ght." 26:7-8
If you don't follow all of the laws in the Old Testament, God will shower yo
u with all of the curses in the next 25 verses. 26:14-15
"I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, tha
t shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed
in vain, for your enemies shall eat it." 26:16
"I will set my face against you, and ye shall be slain before your enemies."
26:17

"I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins." 26:
21
"I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your childre
n, and destroy your cattle." 26:22
"I will bring a sword upon you ... I will send the pestilence among you; and
ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy." 26:25
"And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters sh
all ye eat." 26:29
"I will ... cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul
shall abhor you." 26:30
"And I will make your cities waste." 26:31
"And I will bring the land into desolation". 26:32
"And I will scatter you among the heathen, and will draw out a sword after y
ou: and your land shall be desolate, and your cities waste." 26:33
"And they shall fall one upon another, as it were before a sword, when none
pursueth: and ye shall have no power to stand before your enemies." 26:37
"And ye shall perish among the heathen, and the land of your enemies shall e
at you up." 26:38
All "devoted" things (both man and beast) "shall surely be put to death." 27
:28-29
Numbers
God shows his hospitality with the admonition: "The stranger that cometh nig
h shall be put to death." 1:51, 3:10, 3:38
Two of Aaron's sons are killed by God for "offering strange fire before the
Lord." 3:4
Don't touch or "go in to see when the holy things are covered." God kills pe
ople who touch or look at covered holy things. 4:15, 20
God tells the people to expel from camp "every leper, every one that hath an
issue, and whoever is defiled by the dead." So by God's instructions, the sick
are abandoned and left to suffer and die alone. 5:1-4
"He shall bring two turtles, or two young pigeons, to the priest ... and the
priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offeri
ng." 6:10-11
"He ... shall bring a lamb of the first year for a trespass offering." 6:12
"He shall offer his offering unto the LORD, one he lamb of the first year wi
thout blemish for a burnt offering, and one ewe lamb of the first year without b
lemish for a sin offering, and one ram without blemish for peace offerings." 6:1
4
"The priest shall bring them before the LORD, and shall offer his sin offeri
ng, and his burnt offering." 616:

"The priest shall offer also his meat offering." 6:17
"And the priest shall take the sodden shoulder of the ram." 619:
"And the priest shall wave them for a wave offering before the LORD: this is
holy for the priest, with the wave breast and heave shoulder." 6:20
When Moses set up the tabernacle, each of the twelve tribes kills a bullock,
lamb, ram, and a kid, two oxen, and five rams, goats, and lambs for God, for a
grand total of 240 animal sacrifices. 7:15-88
"The Levites shall lay their hands upon the heads of the bullocks: and thou
shalt offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering." 8:8
-12
All firstborn Israelites, "both man and beast", belong to God. He got them t
he day that he killed every Egyptian firstborn child and animal. 8:17
"And when the people complained, it displeased the Lord: and the Lord heard
it (He had his hearing aid on.) .... and his anger was kindled; and the fire of
the LORD burnt among them, and consumed them."
God burned the complainers alive. That'll teach them! 11:1-2
"And while the flesh [of the quails] was yet between their teeth, ere it was
chewed, the wrath of the Lord was kindled against the people, and the Lord smot
e the people with a very great plague. "The Bible isn't too clear about what the
se poor folks did to upset God so much; all it says is that they had "lusted." 1
1:33
Miriam and Aaron (Moses' brother and sister) criticize Moses for marrying an
Ethiopian woman and thus breaking the law of God. But God makes it clear that h
is rules don't apply to his favorites, and he strikes Miriam with leprosy. Notic
e that only Miriam is punished, though both she and Aaron complained. 12:1, 9-1
0
God tells Moses that he is going to kill all of the Israelites -- every last
whining one of the them, and then make a whole bunch of brand new Israelites. 1
4:12
God punishes the children for the failings of their great-great grandfathers
. 14:18
So Moses talked God out of killing everyone. He'll just see to it that no on
e over 20 years old survives the trip to Israel. Their "carcases shall fall in t
he wilderness." 14:20-35
God killed the ten spies that gave a discouraging report with a plague. 14:3
6-37
To further punish the Israelites for whining and plotting against Moses, God
will send the Amelekites and Canaanites to smite them. 14:43-45
God gives more instructions for the ritualistic killing of animals. The smel
l of burning flesh is "a sweet savour unto the Lord." 15:3, 13-14, 24
The Israelites find a man picking up sticks on the sabbath. God commands the
m to kill him by throwing rocks at him. 15:32-36
Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, the first freethought/democracy martyrs, refused

to follow Moses blindly, saying that everyone is holy and should be free to thin
k for him or herself. God killed them and their families for daring to challenge
Moses. 16:1-35
Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them in
a moment."
God warns everyone to get away; he's going to kill some more people. 16:20-2
1
"Hereby ye shall know that the LORD hath sent me ... if the LORD make ... th
e earth open her mouth, and swallow them up, with all that appertain unto them,
and they go down quick into the pit..."
Moses tells the people that if the ground opens up and swallows the rebels a
nd their families, then you'll know that God's on his side. 16:28-30
"The earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and al
l the men that appertained unto Korah ... They ... went down alive into the pit,
and the earth closed upon them." 16:31-33
"And there came out a fire from the LORD, and consumed the two hundred and f
ifty men that offered incense." 16:35
After God killed Korah, his family, and 250 innocent bystanders, the people
complained saying, "ye have killed the people of the Lord." So God, who doesn't
take kindly to criticism, sends a plague on the people. And "they that died in t
he plague were 14,700." 16:41-50
"Get you up from among this congregation, that I may consume them as in a mo
ment."
God threatens (again) to kill everyone (but his special friends, Moses and A
aron). 16:44-45
"For there is wrath gone out from the LORD; the plague is begun ... they tha
t died in the plague were fourteen thousand and seven hundred." 16:46-49
"Thou shalt quite take away their murmurings from me, that they die not." Go
d threatens to kill those who murmur. 17:10
God threatens to kill those who murmur. To which the people reply, "Behold,
we die, we perish, we all perish .... Shall we be consumed with dying?" 17:12-13
"They shall not come nigh the vessels of the sanctuary and the altar, that n
either they, nor ye also, die."
Stay away from holy things and places -- like churches. God might have to ki
ll you if you get too close. 18:3
God shows us how to make new friends by saying : "The stranger that cometh n
igh shall be put to death." 18:7
God describes once again the procedure for ritualistic animal sacrifices. su
ch rituals must be extremely important to God, since he makes their performance
a "statute" and "covenant" forever. Why, then don't Bible-believers perform thes
e sacrifices anymore? Don't they realize how God must miss the "sweet savour" of
burning flesh? Don't they believe God when he says "forever"? 18:17-19
"Neither must the children of Israel henceforth come nigh the tabernacle of
the congregation, lest they bear sin, and die." 18:22
"Neither shall ye pollute the holy things of the children of Israel, lest ye
die." 18:32

"This is the ordinance of the law which the LORD hath commanded."
These absurd rituals, cruel sacrifices, and unjust punishments are vitally i
mportant to God. They are to be "a perpetual statute" for everyone on earth. 19:
1-22
"Take of her blood with his finger, and sprinkle ... seven times."
God's instructions for putting blood on fingers, sprinkling it around, and t
hen burning the dung of sacrificial animals. This is something that everyone nee
ds to know about. (That's why it's in the Bible!). 19:4-5
"And the Lord hearkened to the voice of Israel, and delivered up the Canaani
tes; and they utterly destroyed them and their cities." This verse demonstrates
the power of prayer: If you ask God, he will destroy entire cities for you. 21:3
God sends "fiery serpents" to bite his chosen people, and many of them die.
21:6
God delivers the Amorites into Moses' hands. (You're in God hands with Moses
.) So Moses does the usual thing, killing everyone "until their was none left al
ive." 21:34-35
God's people will kill like a lion and then "drink the blood of the slain."
23:24
God, who is as strong as a unicorn, will eat up the nations, break their bon
es, and then pierce them through with his arrows. What a guy! 24:8
After the people "commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab," Moses has the
m all killed. Then God tells Moses to hang their dead bodies up in front of him;
God says that this will satisfy him. 25:1-5
When one of the Israelite men brings home a foreign woman, "Phinehas (Aaron'
s grandson) sees them and throws a spear "through the man .. and the woman throu
gh her belly." This act pleases God so much that "the plague was stayed from the
children of Israel." But not before 24,000 had died. 25:6-9
For impaling the interracial couple, God rewards Phinehas and his sons with
the everlasting priesthood. 25:10-13
God tells Moses how to care for his neighbors by saying: "Vex the Midianites
, and smite them." 25:16-17
The ground swallow Korah and his companions and a fire consumes 250 men. 26:
10
"And Nadab and Abihu died when they offered strange fire before the Lord." W
hen you go camping avoid making any unusual fires. 26:61
In these chapters (28, 29), God provides ridiculously detailed instructions
for the ritualistic sacrifice of animals. The burning of their dead bodies smell
s great to God. Eleven times in these two chapters God says that they are to him
a "sweet savour." 28-29
Under God's direction, Moses' army defeats the Midianites. They kill all the
adult males, but take the women and children captive. When Moses learns that th
ey left some live, he angrily says: "Have you saved all the women alive? Kill ev
ery male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lyin
g with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with
him, keep alive for yourselves." So they went back and did as Moses (and presuma

bly God) instructed, killing everyone except for the virgins. In this way they g
ot 32,000 virgins -- Wow! (Even God gets some of the booty -- including the virg
ins.) 31:1-54
"The prey that was taken, both of man and of beast" was offered as a "heave
offering of the LORD." 31:26-29
"Every man armed for war, before the LORD to battle" 32:27
God killed all the Egyptian firstborn. 33:4
God tells Moses to exterminate the residents of Canaan and destroy all of th
eir religious symbols and possessions. 33:50-52
But if the Israelites don't kill them all, then God will make them pricks in
their eyes and thorns in their sides. And he will do unto the Israelites as he
planned to do to the inhabitants of Canaan. 33:55-56
"The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him,
he shall slay him." The "revenger of blood" (the victim's closest relative) mus
t murder the murderer just as soon as he sees him. 35:19, 21
"But if the slayer shall at any time come without the border of the city of
his refuge ... and the revenger of blood kill the slayer; he shall not be guilty
of blood. Because he should have remained in the city of his refuge until the d
eath of the high priest" If the accidental killer leaves the city of refuge and
is caught by the revenger of blood, then the revenger can legally kill the accid
ental killer. 35:26-28
"Whoso killeth any person, the murderer shall be put to death." 35:30
"The land cannot be cleansed of the blood that is shed therein, but by the b
lood of him that shed it." 35:33
Deuteronomy
"God ... shall fight for you." 1:30
"The hand of the LORD was against them, to destroy them from among the host,
until they were consumed."
God killed all the Israelite soldiers -- slowly. It took him 38 years to kil
l them all, but he finally got the job done. 2:14-16
"A land of giants: giants dwelt therein in old time ... but the Lord destroy
ed them." 2:20
"The Lord destroyed them before them" -- the general treatment of the people
who were supposedly displaced by the Israelites. 2:21-22
"I have given into thine hand Sihon the Amorite, king of Heshbon, and his la
nd: begin to possess it, and contend with him in battle." 2:24
All nations shall be terrorized by the followers of Yahweh. 2:25
God hardened the heart of the king of Heshbon and so that he could have him
and all of his people killed. 2:30
At God's instructions, the Israelites "utterly destroyed the men, women, and
the little ones" leaving "none to remain." 2:33-36

The Israelites, with God's help, kill all the men, women, and children of ev
ery city. 3:3-6
"And we utterly destroyed them, as we did unto Sihon king of Heshbon, utterl
y destroying the men, women, and children, of every city." 3:6
Moses promises Joshua that God will massacre kings and kingdoms for him, too
. 3:21
When going to war, don't be afraid. God is on your side; "he shall fight for
you." 3:22
"What God is there in heaven or in earth, that can do according to thy works
?" What other God can kill so many people? 3:24
God destroyed the followers of Baalpeor. 4:3
God brought the Israelites out of Egypt "by war ... and by great terrors." 4
:34
If someone makes an image of anything (like a bird or flower) then God will
destroy the entire nation. 4:25-26
If you worship the wrong god, God will get jealous and kill you. 6:15
God instructs the Israelites to kill, without mercy, all the inhabitants (st
rangers) of the land that they conquer. 7:2
If you do show any mercy to such strangers, "give your daughters to any of t
hem, or "take" any of their daughters, then you'll get God so angry that he'll "
destroy thee suddenly." 7:4
God will kill those who hate him. 7:10
God commands his people to "consume all the people which the Lord thy God sh
all deliver thee; thine eye shall have no pity on them." 7:16
God will send hornets to kill your enemies, "for the Lord thy God is among y
ou, a mighty God and terrible." 7:20-23
"The LORD thy God shall deliver them unto thee, and shall destroy them with
a mighty destruction, until they be destroyed." 7:23
"If thou do at all forget the LORD thy God, and walk after other gods ... ye
shall surely perish." 8:19-20
God is "a consuming fire" that destroys people. 9:3
"The blood of sacrifices shall be poured out ... and thou shalt eat the fles
h." Isn't this the sort of thing that Satanists are accused of doing? 12:27
After God kills those of other faiths, be sure to reject their beliefs and d
o not learn about them. Otherwise God will have to kill you too. 12:30
Prophets and dreamers are to be executed if they say or dream the wrong thin
gs. 13:1-5
If your brother, son, daughter, wife, or friend tries to get you to worship
another god, "thou shalt surely kill him, thine hand shall be first upon him to
put him to death." 13:6-10

If you hear of a city where another god is worshiped, then destroy everyone
in the city (even the cattle) and burn it down. (Watch out Salt Lake!) 13:12-16
Kill everyone who has religious beliefs that are different from your own. 17
:2-7
Anyone who will not listen to a priest or a judge must be executed. 17:12-13
False prophets are to be (you guessed it) executed. How do you know who is a
false prophet? By whether or not their predictions come true. (Watch out Jehova
h's Witnesses!) 18:20
A murderer is to be killed by "the avenger of blood," which is the victim's
nearest relative. "And thine eye shall not pity" them. 19:11-13
False witnesses are to be execucuted. 19:18-19
"And thine eye shall not pity. Life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth,
hand for hand, foot for foot." 19:21
God travels with people and fights in their wars. 20:4
In the cities that god "delivers into thine hands" you must kill all the mal
es (including old men, boys, and babies) with "the edge of the sword .... But th
e women ... shalt thou take unto yourself." 20:13
"But of the cities ... which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inherita
nce, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth." Kill the old men and women,
the sick and the dying, the blind and the lame, pregnant mothers, nursing mother
s, infants, toddlers, and babies. 20:16
If you find a dead body and don't know the cause of death, then get all the
elders together, cut off the head of a heifer, wash your hands over its body, an
d say our hands have not shed this blood. (That'll do it!) 21:1-8
If you have a "stubborn and rebellious son," then you and the other men in y
our neighborhood "shall stone him with stones that he die." 21:18-21
When someone commits "a sin worthy of death" that person is "accursed of God
" and should be hung on a tree. 21:22-23
If a man marries, then decides that he hates his wife, he can claim she wasn
't a virgin when they were married. If her father can't produce the "tokens of h
er virginity" (bloody sheets), then the woman is to be stoned to death at her fa
ther's doorstep. 22:13-21
"If a man be found lying with a woman married to a husband, then they shall
both of them die." 22:22
If a betrothed virgin is raped in the city and doesn't cry out loud enough,
then "the men of the city shall stone her to death." 22:23-24
Legal disputes are settled by a judge who determines guilt or innocence. No
lawyers or jury are needed. Those found guilty will be beaten with 40 stripes. 2
5:1-3
If two men fight and the wife of one grabs the "secrets" of the other, "then
thou shalt cut off her hand" and "thine eye shall not pity her." 25:11-12

God commands the Israelites to "blot out the rembrance of Amalek from under
heaven." A few hundred years later God orders Saul to kill of the Amalekites "bo
th man and woman, infant and suckling." (1 Samuel 15:2-3) 25:19
If you don't obey all of the laws that are given in the Old Testament, God s
hower you with the curses that are given in the next 52 verses. 28:16-68
"Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body." 28:18
"The LORD shall send upon thee cursing, vexation, and rebuke, in all that th
ou settest thine hand unto for to do, until thou be destroyed, and until thou pe
rish quickly." 28:20
"The LORD shall make the pestilence cleave unto thee, until he have consumed
thee." 28:21
"The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall
it come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed." 28:24
"The LORD shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies." 28:25
"And thy carcass shall be meat to all the fowls of the air, and no man shall
fray them away." 28:26
"The Lord will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and the emerods [hemorrho
ids], and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst be healed. The Lo
rd will smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart." 28:2
7-28
"The Lord will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and the emerods [hemorrho
ids], and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst be healed." 28:27
"The Lord will smite thee with madness, and , and astonishment of heart." 28
:28
"And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou
shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled eve
rmore, and no man shall save thee." 28:29
"Thine ox shall be slain before thine eyes ... thine ass shall be violently
taken away." 28:31
"Thy sons and thy daughters shall be given unto another people." 28:32
You will be enslaved and driven mad in another country. 28:33-34
"The Lord will smite thee in the knees, and in the legs, with a sore botch t
hat cannot be healed, from the sole of thy foot unto the top of thy head." 28:35
You will be ruled by other nations, forced to serve other gods, become a lau
ghingstock among your neighbors, have your crops destroyed by locusts, your vine
s eaten by worms, and have fruitless olive trees. 28:36-40
"Thou shalt begat sons and daughters, but thou shall not enjoy them; for the
y shall go into captivity." 28:41
"All these curses shall come upon thee ... and upon thy seed for ever." 28:4
8-49
God will enslave you and destroy you with hunger, thirst, hardship, and all

kinds of deprivation. 28:48-52
"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and o
f thy daughters." 28:53
"So that the man that is tender among you, and very delicate, his eye shall
be evil toward his brother, and toward the wife of his bosom, and toward the rem
nant of his children which he shall leave: So that he will not give to any of th
em of the flesh of his children whom he shall eat." 28:54-55
"The tender and delicate woman" will be forced to eat her own children "that
cometh out from between her feet." 28:56-57
"If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written
n this book. Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of
hy seed ... Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the
ook of this law, them will the LORD bring upon thee, until thou be destroyed."
8:58-61

i
t
b
2

If the Jews don't follow God's laws he'll have most of them killed. 28:62
"The LORD will rejoice over you to destroy you, and to bring you to nought."
28:63
"And the LORD shall scatter thee among all people, from the one end of the e
arth even unto the other; and there thou shalt serve other gods." 28:64
"The LORD shall give thee there a trembling heart, and failing of eyes, and
sorrow of mind." 28:65
"And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fear day and n
ight, and shalt have none assurance of thy life." 28:66
"In the morning thou shalt say, Would God it were even! and at even thou sha
lt say, Would God it were morning! for the fear of thine heart wherewith thou sh
alt fear, and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see." 28:67
God will have you sold to your enemies -- but even they won't buy you. 28:68
If you serve the gods of other nations, "all the curses that are in this boo
k" will fall upon you. 29:18-20
If you follow your own heart, God will curse you with all the curses in Deut
eronomy 28:15-68. 29:19-20
"And the Lord will put all these curses upon thine enemies." See Deuteronomy
28:16-64 for some of the curses God has in mind. 30:7
Moses tells the people that God will destroy all the inhabitants of the land
s that they pass through. 31:3
When God gets mad -- watch out! He'll starve you to death, burn you with fir
e, and send vicious beasts to devour you. He'll "destroy both the young man and
the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs." Not even the helpless
and innocent are spared by this psychotic God. 32:21-26
"For a fire is kindled in mine anger, and shall burn unto the lowest hell, a
nd shall consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of
the mountains." 32:22

"I will heap mischiefs upon them; I will spend mine arrows upon them." 32:23
"They shall be burnt with hunger, and devoured with burning heat, and with b
itter destruction: I will also send the teeth of beasts upon them, with the pois
on of serpents of the dust." 32:24
"The sword without, and terror within, shall destroy both the young man and
the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs." 32:25
"I said, I would scatter them into corners, I would make the remembrance of
them to cease from among men." 32:26
God says, "To me belongeth vengeance, and recompense ... for the day of thei
r destruction is at hand." 32:35
God says, "I kill ... I wound ... I will make my arrows drunk with blood, an
d my sword shall devour flesh." Someone should take his sword and arrows away, a
t least until he's feeling better. 32:39-43
Joshua
"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid,
neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou g
oest."
Donald Rumsfeld sent this verse to inspire the troops during the 2003 invasi
on of Iraq. 1:9
God "magnifies" Joshua and promises to "without fail" drive out all the inha
bitants of the lands through which they passed. 3:7
"And the city shall be accursed ... and all that therein, to the Lord: only
Rahab the harlot shall live." God explains that Rahab is to be spared since she
hid Joshua's spies and lied to those who were searching for them (2:4-5). But wh
y was everyone else killed? Some of them were probably liars too. 6:17
"And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, yo
ung and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword." 6:21
After killing everyone, "they burnt the city with fire, and all that was the
rein." Only the valuables (silver, gold, brass, and iron) did they keep to "put
into the treasury of the house of the Lord." 6:24
Joshua says that those who try to rebuild Jericho will be accursed by God, a
nd will have to sacrifice both their oldest and their youngest sons in its const
ruction. But Jericho still exists today, and is often considered to be the world
's oldest, continuously occupied city. 6:26
God tells Joshua to kill whoever took "the accursed thing." 7:10-12
If you happen to see "the accursed thing," don't touch it. If you do, you, y
our family, and all of your animals must be burned. 7:15
"And Joshua ... took Achan ... and his sons, and his daughters, and his oxen
, and his sheep... And all of Israel stoned them with stones, and burned them wi
th fire, after they had stoned them with stones." This is because Achan "took of
the accursed thing" -- whatever that means. But why would God require that Acha
n's sons and daughters (and even his animals) be stoned to death along with him?
The Bible doesn't say. But it does tell us that "the Lord turned from the fierc
eness of his anger" when Achan, his children, and his animals were stoned to dea
th and their dead bodies burned. 7:24-26

"When ye have taken the city [Ai] ... ye shall set the city on fire: accordi
ng to the commandment of the LORD. 8:8
"They smote them, so that they let none of them remain or escape." 8:22
"When Israel had made an end of slaying all the inhabitants of Ai in the fie
ld ... all the Israelites returned unto Ai, and smote it with the edge of the sw
ord." 8:24
"All that fell that day, both of men and women, were twelve thousand." 8:25
Joshua hangs the king of Ai on a tree until evening. 8:29
After Joshua kills all the inhabitants of Ai, burns their city, and hangs th
eir king on a tree, he kills some animals and burns them as a "peace offering" t
o his warlike God. 8:31
God curses the Gibeonites to be slaves of the Jews forever. 9:21-27
"And the LORD said unto Joshua, Fear them not: for I have delivered them int
o thine hand."
God delivers the Amorites into Joshua's hand (so he can kill them all). 10:8
"And the LORD discomfited them before Israel, and slew them with a great sla
ughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way."
God slaughters the Amorites and even chases them along the way. 10:10
"The LORD cast down great stones from heaven upon them ... and they died."
As the Amorites try to escape, God sends down huge hailstones and kills even
more of them. 10:11
In a divine type of daylight savings time, God makes the sun stand still so
that Joshua can get all his killing done before dark. 10:12-13
God tells Joshua to "pursue after your enemies and smite the hindmost of the
m." (Kick their butts.) Don't let any of them escape "for the Lord your God hath
delivered them into your hand." 10:19
Joshua tells his captains to "put your feet upon the necks of these kings."
He says, "thus shall the Lord do to all of your enemies." Then Joshua kills the
kings and hangs them on trees. 10:24-26
Joshua, at God's command, kills everyone and everything that he can find (in
cluding babies and little children)-- or, as the Bible puts it, he "utterly dest
royed all that breathed, as the Lord commanded." 10:28-32
Then Horam king of Gezer came up to help Lachish; and Joshua smote him and h
is people, until he had left him none remaining." 10:33
"Joshua passed unto Eglon ... and smote it with the edge of the sword, and a
ll the souls that were therein he utterly destroyed." 10:34-35
"Joshua went ... unto Hebron ... and smote it with the edge of the sword ...
and all the cities ... and all the souls that were therein; he left none remain
ing." 10:36-37
"Joshua returned ... to Debir ... And he took it ... and all the cities ...
and they smote them with the edge of the sword, and utterly destroyed all the so
uls that were therein; he left none remaining."10:38-39

"So Joshua ... left none remaining, but utterly destroyed all that breathed,
as the LORD God of Israel commanded." 10:40
"All these kings and their land did Joshua take at one time, because the LOR
D God of Israel fought for Israel." 10:42
God delivers the Hazorites into Joshua's hand, and he knows just what to do
with them: he smites them all with (you guessed it) the edge of the sword until
"there was not any left to breathe." 11:6-17
"And the LORD delivered them into the hand of Israel, who smote them ... and
they smote them, until they left them none remaining." 11:8
"And Joshua did unto them as the LORD bade him: he houghed their horses." 11
:9
"Joshua ... smote the king thereof with the sword." 11:10
"And they smote all the souls that were therein with the edge of the sword,
utterly destroying them: there was not any left to breathe." 11:11
"And all the cities of those kings, and all the kings of them, did Joshua ta
ke, and smote them with the edge of the sword, and he utterly destroyed them, as
Moses the servant of the LORD commanded." 11:12
"Every man they smote with the edge of the sword, until they had destroyed t
hem, neither left they any to breathe." 11:14
"As the LORD commanded Moses his servant, so did Moses command Joshua, and s
o did Joshua; he left nothing undone of all that the LORD commanded Moses." 11:1
5
"So Joshua took ... all their kings ... and smote them, and slew them." 11:1
6-17
"For it was of the Lord to harden their hearts, that they should come agains
t Israel in battle, that he might destroy them utterly." Notice that God hardens
their hearts so that he can have an excuse to kill them. 11:20
"Joshua destroyed them utterly with their cities." 11:21
Caleb offers to give his daughter to whoever conquers the city of Debir. Cal
eb's nephew wins the contest and is given his cousin for a prize. 15:16-17
"Did not Achan son of Zerah commit a trespass in the accursed thing, and wra
th fell on all the congregation of Israel?" To find out see Joshua 7:1-26. 22:20
"I plagued Egypt." 24:5
God brags about drowning the Egyptians. 24:7
"I gave them [the Amorites] into your hand, that ye might possess their land
; and I destroyed them from before you." 24:8
"I delivered them into your hand." 24:11
God sent hornets to fight for the Israelites. 24:12
God is jealous and will never forgive you for your sins. "He will turn and d

o you hurt, and consume you." 24:19-20
Judges
God appoints Judah to succeed Joshua. The Lord delivers his foes into his ha
nds and another 10,000 are slain. In the process, they capture Adonibezek and "c
ut off his thumbs and great toes." Nice guys. 1:2-6
The LORD delivered the Canaanites and the Perizzites into their hand: and th
ey slew of them in Bezek ten thousand men." 1:4
"They slew the Canaanites that inhabited Zephath, and utterly destroyed it .
.. And the Lord was with Judah." (You can tell by the number of innocent people
he killed.) 1:17, 19
The Israelite spies killed everyone in Bethel, except for the man (and his f
amily) who showed them how to enter the city. 1:25
"The children of Israel did evil again in the sight of the LORD: and the LOR
D strengthened Eglon the king of Moab against Israel ... So the children of Isra
el served Eglon the king of Moab eighteen years." 3:12-14
Ehud delivers a "message from God" to the king of Moab. God's message consis
ts of a knife thrust so deeply into the king's belly that it could not be extrac
ted, "and the dirt came out." Just another lovely Bible story. 3:15-22
God "delivers" more folks into the hands of his chosen people. "And they sle
w of Moab ... about 10,000 men ... and their escaped not a man." 3:28-29
Shamgar kills 600 Philistines with an ox goad. Praise God. 3:31
"The Lord shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman." 4:9
"The Lord discomfited Sisera ... with the edge of the sword ... and there wa
s not a man left." 4:15-16
Jael (our heroine) offers food and shelter to a traveler (Sisera, Jabin's ca
ptain), saying "turn in my Lord ... fear not." Then after giving him a glass of
milk and tucking him in, she drives a tent stake through his head. "So God subdu
ed on that day Jabin." 4:17-23
For murdering her guest while he slept, Jael is "blessed above women." (Hail
Jael, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women....?)
5:24-26
"So let all thine enemies perish, O Lord." (Let them all have their temples
pierced by blessed women.) 5:31
"The children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD: and the LORD deli
vered them into the hand of Midian seven years."
God forces the Israelites to be slaves to the Midianites for seven years. 6:
1
"The LORD said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite th
e Midianites as one man." God promises to help Gideon kill all the Midianites. 6
:16
"The second bullock was offered upon the altar." 6:28
When Gideon and his water-lapping companions blow their trumpets, God forces

all the enemy soldiers to kill each other, killing 120,000. 7:22, 8:10
Two princes are killed and their heads are brought to Gideon. 7:25
For refusing to feed him and his army, Gideon swears that he'll tear the fle
sh off the elders of Succoth. (And he carries out his threat in verse 16.) 8:7
"He took the elders of the city, and thorns of the wilderness and briers, an
d with them he taught the men of Succoth." 8:16
"He beat down the tower of Penuel, and slew the men of the city." 8:17
Gideon orders his son to kill two kings, but he refuses. So Gideon has to do
it himself since his son isn't "man" enough to do it. 8:20-21
The curse of Jotham: "Let fire come out from Abimelech, and devour the men o
f Shechem." (See 9:57) 9:20
God sends evil spirits that cause humans to deal treacherously with each oth
er. 9:23-24
"And all the evil of the men of Shechem did God render upon their heads: and
upon them came the curse of Jotham the son of Jerubbaal."
God had one thousand men and women burned to death to punish them for suppor
ting Abimelech rather than Jotham. 9:57
"God ... delivered Sihon and all his people into the hand of Israel, and the
y smote them: so Israel possessed all the land of the Amorites." 11:21
"Whomsoever the LORD our God shall drive out from before us, them will we [t
he Israelites] possess." 11:24
When "the spirit of the Lord" comes upon Jephthah, he makes a deal with God:
If God will help him kill the Ammonites, then he (Jephthah) will offer to God a
s a burnt offering whatever comes out of his house to greet him. God keeps his e
nd of the deal by providing Jephthah with "a very great slaughter." But when Jep
hthah returns, his nameless daughter comes out to greet him (who'd he expect, hi
s wife?). Well, a deal's a deal, so he delivers her to God as a burnt offering - after letting her spend a couple of months going up and down on the mountains
bewailing her virginity. 11:29-39
"The LORD delivered them into his hands ... And he smote them ... even twent
y cities ... with a very great slaughter." 11:32-33
"Her father ... did with her according to his vow which he had vowed." 11:39
42,000 Ephraimites fail the "shibboleth" test and are killed by Jephthah's a
rmy. 12:6
"Manoah took a kid with a meat offering, and offered it upon a rock unto the
LORD." 13:19
Samson's lust for the Philistine woman was "of the Lord." It was all a part
of God's plan for killing Philistines. 14:4
Samson rips up a young lion when "the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon
him." Later, when going to "take" his Philistine wife he notices a swarm of bees
and honey in the lion's carcass (a Divine miracle -- or just rotting flesh, fli
es, and maggots?). 14:5-8

"And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him, and he went down to Ashkelon, and
slew thirty men ... and gave change of garments unto them which expounded the r
iddle."
When the Spirit of the Lord came upon Samson, he killed 30 men at random and
took their clothes and gave it to the guys at the party as a prize for guessing
his riddle.
(Samson might have been a decent person if he could have kept the spirit of
the Lord off him.) 14:19
Samson catches 300 foxes, ties their tails together, and sets them on fire;
the Philistines burn Samson's ex-wife and father-in-law; and Samson smites them
"hip and thigh with a great slaughter." 15:4-8
"The spirit of the Lord came mightily upon" Samson and "he found a new jawbo
ne of an ass ... and took it, and slew 1000 men therewith." 15:14-15
Samson, with God's help, kills himself and 3000 Philistine men and women by
causing a roof to collapse, setting an example for Bible-based terrorism. 16:2730
The Massacre of the Peaceful, Unsuspecting People
The story begins with the tribe of Dan (one of the 12 tribes of Israel) look
ing for a nice place to live. So they sent out five men to find some land. 18:127
After taking in a traveling Levite, the host offers his virgin daughter and
his guest's concubine to a mob of perverts (who want to have sex with his guest)
. The mob refuses the daughter, but accepts the concubine and they "abuse her al
l night." The next morning she crawls back to the doorstep and dies. The Levite
puts her dead body on an ass and takes her home. Then he chops her body up into
twelve pieces and sends them to each of the twelve tribes of Israel. 19:22-30
"I took my concubine, and cut her in pieces, and sent her throughout all the
country."
The Levite tells everyone his story (leaving out the part about how he gave
his concubine to the mob to do with as they pleased), explaining the mysterious
rotting body part messages that brought everyone in Israel together. 20:4-6
After the Benjamites refuse to turn over the men from Gibeah (the town that
wanted to have sex with the Levite but settled for his concubine instead), the I
sraelites asked God which tribe should go to war with them. God said the tribe o
f Judah should go first. So Judah goes to war, but the Benjamites with their sha
rp shooting lefties kill 22,000 Israelites. 20:18-21
After 22,000 Israelites were killed by the Benjamites, they cry all day befo
re the Lord. Then they ask God (again) if they should go to war against Benjamin
. God said yes, so they try it again, and another 18,000 Israelites are killed.
20:23-25
Once again all of the Israelites sit and weep before God, and ask again (for
the third time) if they should attack the Benjamites. God give them his usual a
nswer: Attack. This time he promises (he was just kidding the last couple times)
that he "will deliver them into thine hand." 20:26-28
God helps the Israelites kill 25,100 Benjamites. 20:35
The Israelites killed everyone in the city with the edge of the sword. 20:37
Another 25,000 Benjamites are killed by the God-assisted Israelites. 20:44-4
6

The Israelites finish their massacre of the Benjamites by killing all the me
n, animals, and everything they could find in every Benjamite city. Then they bu
rned the cities to the ground. (In this way God helped the Israelites make every
thing better after the rape and dismemberment of the concubine.) 20:48
Here's what the Israelites decide to do. They will go and kill everyone in J
abeshgilead except for the virgin women and give them to the 600 surviving Benja
mites. 21:11
1 Samuel
"The Lord killeth" -- every chance he gets. 2:6, 25
"The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall
he thunder upon them." If God doesn't like you, he'll send a thunderstorm your w
ay to break your body into little pieces. 2:10
"Because the LORD would slay them." Eli's sons didn't listen to him, because
God had already decided to kill them. (Which he does in 4:11.) 2:25
"A man of God unto Eli, and said unto him, Thus saith the LORD ... I will cu
t off thine arm... There shall not be an old man in thine house for ever ... I s
hall ... consume thine eyes and ... grieve thine heart."
A "man of God" tells Eli that God will "consume his eyes" and "grieve his he
art" and make sure that all of his decendants will die young" because of the stu
ff his sons did. 2:27-32
"And this shall be a sign unto thee, that shall come upon thy two sons, on H
ophni and Phinehas; in one day they shall die both of them."
God says he'll kill his two sons as a sign to him. (Just ot remind him of th
e nasty things he plans to do to him and his descendants to punish him for what
his sons did.) 2:34
God will punish Eli's descendants forever for the sins of Eli's sons. 3:12-1
3
"The two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were slain."
God killed Eli's sons as he promised to do. (See 2:25 and 34) 4:11
God smites the people of Ashdod with hemorrhoids "in their secret parts." 5:
6-12
God kills 50,070 men for looking into the ark. "And the people lamented, bec
ause the Lord had smitten many of the people with a great slaughter." 6:19
"And Samuel took a sucking lamb, and offered it for a burnt offering wholly
unto the LORD." 7:9
The LORD thundered with a great thunder on that day upon the Philistines, an
d discomfited them; and they were smitten before Israel." 7:10-11
"And the spirit of God came upon Saul ... and he took a yoke of oxen, and he
wed them in pieces, and sent them throughout all the coast of Israel." People do
the darnedest things when the spirit of God comes upon them! 11:6-7
"Saul ... slew the Ammorites unto the heat of the day." Then he took a littl
e break. After all, killing is hard work. 11:11
To day the LORD hath wrought salvation in Israel."

God saved the Israelites by slaughtering the Ammonites. 11:13
"Saul said, Bring hither a burnt offering to me, and peace offerings. And he
offered the burnt offering." 13:9
God delivers the Philistines into Jonathan's hand. And his very "first slaug
hter ... was about twenty men." Not bad for a first slaughter. 14:12
Under God's influence, the Philistines killed each other. 14:20
"So the LORD saved Israel that day."
God saved Israel by forcing Philistines to kill each other. 14:23
But later, Saul and his army kill all of those who had not already been kill
ed. 14:36
God orders Saul to kill all of the Amalekites: men, women, infants, suckling
s, ox, sheep, camels, and asses. Why? Because God remembers what Amalek did hund
reds of years ago. 15:2-3
Saul killed everyone but Agag (the king) and the best of the animals. But st
ill God was furious with Saul for not killing everything as he had been told to
do. He said, "it repenteth me that I have set Saul up to be king." 15:7-26
Saul is rebuked by Samuel for "doing evil in the sight of the Lord" by faili
ng to kill all of the Amalekites. 15:18-19
Because Saul didn't kill everyone as God commanded, God changes his mind abo
ut him being king. 15:23-26
To please God, Samuel hacks Agag in pieces "before the Lord" [I bet God enjo
yed that!] -- after Agag pleads with him saying, "surely the bitterness of death
has past." 15:32-34
After God rejects Saul for refusing to kill indiscriminately, he sends Samue
l to find another king. David is chosen and anointed by Samuel, and "the spirit
of the Lord came upon him from that day forward." 16:13
"But the spirit of the Lord departed from Saul [since he was not murderous e
nough for God], and an evil spirit from the Lord troubled him." But if God is go
od, then how could he have an evil spirit? 16:14-16, 23
David kills Goliath with his sling, beheads him, and carries the head back t
o Jerusalem. 17:51-57
David and Saul have a contest to see who can kill the most people for God, a
nd the women act as cheerleaders saying, "Saul has killed his thousands, and Dav
id his tens of thousands." 18:6-7, 21:11, 29:5
David kills 200 Philistines and brings their foreskins to Saul to buy his fi
rst wife (Saul's daughter Michal). Saul had only asked for 100 foreskins, but Da
vid was feeling generous. 18:25-27
"David went out, and fought with the Philistines, and slew them with a great
slaughter." 19:8
God will wipe all of David's enemies off the face of the earth. 20:15-16
Saul kills 85 priests of Nob and all men, women, children, and animals in th
e city of Nob. 22:18-19

"David inquired of the Lord, saying, Shall I go and smite these Philistines?
And the Lord said unto David, Go, and smite the Philistines." 23:2
"Then David enquired of the LORD yet again. And the LORD answered him and sa
id ... I will deliver the Philistines into thine hand." 23:4
"So David ... fought with the Philistines ... and smote them with a great sl
aughter." 23:5
"If I leave ... any that pisseth against the wall."
David vows to will kill Nabal and all his men (or as he put it, "any that pi
sseth against the wall".) 25:22
"Except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been lef
t unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall."
If Abigail hadn't come and paid him off, David would have killed Nabal and a
ny of his people "that pisseth against the wall". 25:34
"And it came to pass about ten days after, that the Lord smote Nabal, that h
e died." This was convenient for David who then took his property and his wife,
Abigail. 25:38
"When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, Blessed be the LORD ... And
David sent and communed with Abigail, to take her to him to wife." 25:39
"And David smote the land and left neither man nor woman alive." (No wonder
God liked David so much!) 27:8-11
Saul visits a woman with a "familiar spirit" and she brings Samuel back from
the dead. Samuel once again explains that God is angry at Saul for not killing
all of the Amalekites. He says God is going to deliver all of Israel into the ha
nds of the Philistines. (Since Saul refused to slaughter innocent people, God wi
ll slaughter the Israelites. Fair is fair.) 28:8-19
"Because thou obeyedst not the voice of the LORD, nor executedst his fierce
wrath upon Amalek, therefore hath the LORD done this thing unto thee this day."
28:18
"The LORD will also deliver Israel with thee into the hand of the Philistine
s: and to morrow shalt thou and thy sons be with me."
God sent a message to Saul (through a dead man brought back to life by a wit
ch) was that tomorrow God would make sure that the Philistines kill him and his
sons (to punish Saul for not killing all the Amalekites like God told him to in
15:3). 28:19
The Philistine leaders didn't trust David, even though David had committed m
any genocides for them. They had heard about how the Israelite dancing girls use
d to sing about David's killings, singing, "Saul has killed his thousands, and D
avid his tens of thousands." So they worried that David could not be trusted to
kill his own people. But they were wrong about that. David was always willing to
kill anyone at anytime for any reason whatsoever. That's why God loved him so m
uch. 29:5
"David said unto Achish, But what have I done ... that I may not go fight ag
ainst the enemies of my lord the king?"
David was disappointed. He wanted to go kill Israelites with the Philistines
. 29:8
"David smote them from the twilight even unto the evening of the next day: a

nd there escaped not
David spends the
them except for 400
two times they were

a man of them, save four hundred young men."
day killing more of those pesky Amalekites. He kills all of
that escaped on camels. (See 15:7-8 and 27:8-9 for the last
exterminated.) 30:17

"Now the Philistines fought against Israel; and the men of Israel fled from
before the Philistines, and fell down slain in mount Gilboa."
God used the Philistines to kill the Israelite soldiers to punish Saul for n
ot killing all the Amalekites. (See 28:19) 31:1
"The Philistines slew Jonathan, and Abinadab, and Melchishua, Saul's sons."
God had the Philistines kill Saul's sons to punish him for not killing all t
he Amalekites. See 28:19) 31:2
"So Saul died, and his three sons, and his armourbearer, and all his men, th
at same day together." 31:6
They cut off his head ... and sent into the land of the Philistines round ab
out ... and they fastened his body to the wall of Bethshan." Was this a part of
Saul's punishment for not killing all the Amalekites? 31:9-10
2 Samuel
David tells one of his "young men" to kill the Amalekite messenger who claim
ed to have mercifully killed Saul at Saul's own request. 1:15
Joab and Abner watch as the young men "play" a cruel game. "And they caught
every one his fellow by the head, and thrust his sword in his fellow side, so th
ey fell down together." 2:14
Abner smites Asahel "under the fifth rib." (It seems that in 2 Samuel this i
s the preferred place to get smitten. 3:27, 4:6, 20:10) 2:23
When Joab (David's captain) kills Abner (by smiting him under the fifth rib
of course), David says that he and his kingdom are not responsible. The blame, h
e says, lays with Joab. So David curses Joab, his family, and their descendants
forever. Let them all be plagued with venereal diseases and leprosy, starve to d
eath, commit suicide, or lean on staves. (The Revised Standard Version translate
s "leaneth on a staff" as "holds a spindle," apparently meaning effeminate -- re
al men don't spin or weave.) 3:27-29
Some of David's men kill Saul's son (by smiting him under the fifth rib, of
course) and bring his head to David, thinking that he'll be pleased. But he wasn
't. David has the assassins killed, their hands and feet chopped off, and their
bodies hung up (for decorations?) over the pool in Hebron. 4:6-7
Whoever kills the lame and the blind will be David's "chief and captain." 5:
8
"David ... grew great, and the LORD God of hosts was with him." 5:10
David asks God if he should kill some more Philistines. God says yes, and he
'll even help. So David and God "smote the Philistines" again. 5:19
"David smote them there, and said, The LORD hath broken forth upon mine enem
ies before me."
God helps David slaughter his enemies. 5:20
"When thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees ..
. then shall the LORD go out before thee, to smite the host of the Philistines."

5:24
"And David did so, as the LORD had commanded him; and smote the Philistines.
" 5:25
Uzzah tries to keep the ark from falling off the cart, and God kills him for
it. I guess it was God's way of saying Thanks. 6:6-7
"I was with thee whithersoever thou wentest, and have cut off all thine enem
ies out of thy sight."
God was with David wherever he went and killed all of his enemies for him. 7
:9
David kills two thirds of the Moabites and makes the rest slaves. He also cr
ipples the captured horses. 8:2-4
"David slew of the Syrians two and twenty thousand men ... and the Lord pres
erved David withersoever he went." 8:5-6, 14
"David gat him a name when he returned from smiting of the Syrians in the va
lley of salt, being eighteen thousand men ... And the LORD preserved David whith
ersoever he went." 8:13-14
David tells Joab (his captain) to send Bathsheba's husband (Uriah) to "the f
orefront of the hottest battle ... that he may be smitten and die." In this way,
David gets another wife. 11:15, 11:17-27
To punish David for having Uriah killed, God kills Bathsheba's baby boy. 12:
14-18
"He ... put them under saws, and under harrows of iron, and under axes of ir
on, and made them pass through the brick-kiln."
David tortured or enslaved (depending on translation) all the inhabitants of
several cities. 12:31
Absalom has his servants kill his brother for raping his sister. (This chapt
er, which includes incest, rape, murder, should be rated NC-17.) 13:28-29
"There was there a great slaughter that day of twenty thousand men ... and t
he wood devoured more people that day than the sword devoured."
It must have been a really spooky forest to have devoured more than 20,000 m
en! 18:7-8
Poor Absalom gets his head caught in an oak tree, and before he can get free
, Joab thrusts three darts through his heart. 18:14
"Then said Ahimaaz ... Let me now run, and bear the king tidings, how that t
he LORD hath avenged him of his enemies." (See 2 Samuel 17:14) 18:19
Amasa is viciously slaughtered by Joab, who "shed out his bowels to the grou
nd ... And Amasa wallowed in blood in the midst of the highway." 20:10, 12
"Then cried a wise woman out of the city ... Behold, his head shall be throw
n to thee over the wall ... And they cut off the head of Sheba ... and cast it o
ut to Joab." 20:16-22
A famine is sent on David's kingdom for three years. When David asks God why
, God answers: "It is for Saul, and his bloody house, because he slew the Gibeon
ites. "So God sent a famine to punish a kingdom for something that a former king
had done. 21:1

To appease God and end the famine that was caused by his predecessor (Saul),
David agrees to have two of Saul's sons and five of his grandsons killed and hu
ng up "unto the Lord." 21:6-9
"They hanged them in the hill before the LORD." 21:9
"They gathered the bones of them that were hanged ... And after that God was
intreated for the land."
God stopped the famine after Saul's two sons and five grandsons were killed
and hung up for him. 21:13-14
"He teacheth my hands to war."
Might as well learn from an expert. 22:35
"I have pursued mine enemies, and destroyed them; and turned not again until
I had consumed them. And I have consumed them, and wounded them, that they coul
d not arise: yea, they are fallen under my feet." 22:38-39
"Thou hast also given me the necks of mine enemies, that I might destroy the
m that hate me." 22:41
"They looked, but there was none to save; even unto the LORD, but he answere
d them not." 22:42
"I beat them as small as the dust of the earth, I did stamp them as the mire
of the street." 22:43
"It is God that avengeth me, and that bringeth down the people under me. And
that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high a
bove them that rose up against me." 22:48-49
"And the LORD wrought a great victory that day; and the people returned afte
r him only to spoil." 23:10-12
The chief of David's captains killed with his own spear 800 guys at one time
. 23:8
"Eleazar the son of Dodo ... smote the Philistines until his hand was weary,
and his hand clave unto the sword: and the LORD wrought a great victory that da
y." 23:9-10
"Shammah the son of Agee ... slew the Philistines: and the LORD wrought a gr
eat victory." 23:11-12
"Abishai ... lifted up his spear against three hundred, and slew them." 23:1
8
"Benaiah the son of Jehoiada ... slew two lionlike men of Moab: he went down
also and slew a lion in the midst of a pit in time of snow. And he slew an Egyp
tian, a goodly man: and the Egyptian had a spear in his hand." 23:20-21
God offers David a choice of punishments for having conducted the census: 1)
seven years of famine (1 Chr 21:12 says three years), 2) three months fleeing f
rom enemies, or 3) three days of pestilence. David can't decide, so God chooses
for him and sends a pestilence, killing 70,000 men (and probably around 200,000
women and children). 24:13
1 Kings

In David's last words, he commands his son Solomon to murder Joab and Shimei
. 2:1-9
Solomon has his brother (Adonijah) murdered. 2:24-25
Solomon carries out the deathbed instructions of his father David by having
Joab murdered. 2:29-34
Solomon justifies the murder of Joab by saying that Joab also was a murderer
, and that the blood of Joab's victims "shall therefore return upon the head of
Joab, and upon the head of his seed for ever." 2:33
But Solomon is not done murdering yet. He has Shimei murdered -- or as Solom
on put it, "The Lord shall return thy wickedness upon thine own head." 2:44, 46
Solomon killed and sacrificed 1000 animals to God at Gibeon. 3:4
When the ark of the covenant was brought into the temple, Solomon killed mor
e animals than could be numbered. 8:5
When dedicating the temple, Solomon killed 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep. 8:
63
"Joab ... had smitten every male in Edom."
Joab (David's captain) spent six months killing every male in Edom. Yet a fe
w years later Edom revolted. (2 Kings 8:22) 11:15-16
"Solomon sought therefore to kill Jeroboam." 11:40
King Josiah is prophesied to sacrifice the priests of the "high places" on t
heir altars. And he does so in 2 Kings 23:20. Note that this is a guy who "did w
hat was right in the eyes of the Lord" (2 Kings 22:2). 13:2
"And his hand, which he put forth against him, dried up ... And the man of G
od besought the LORD, and the king's hand was restored him again."
Ever the playful spirit, God withers, and then restores, the hand of king Je
roboam. 13:4-6
"A lion met him by the way, and slew him."
So there were these two prophets. The first prophet lied to the second. To t
he punish the second for believing the first's lie, God sent a lion to kill him.
Get it? 13:11-24
"When the prophet ... heard thereof, he said, It is the man of God, who was
disobedient unto the word of the LORD: therefore the LORD hath delivered him unt
o the lion, which hath torn him, and slain him, according to the word of the LOR
D." 13:26
God promises to "bring evil upon the house of Jerobaom," saying he will "cut
off" anyone "that pisseth against the wall." Then, after he is done with them,
their dead bodies will be eaten by dogs (if they are city dwellers) or fowls (if
they are country folk). 14:10-11
"Him that dieth of Jeroboam in the city shall the dogs eat; and him that die
th in the field shall the fowls of the air eat: for the LORD hath spoken it." 14
:11
"When thy feet enter into the city, the child shall die." 14:12
"For the LORD shall smite Israel ... because they have made their groves, pr

ovoking the LORD to anger." 14:15
"When she came to the threshold of the door, the child died."
To punish Jeroboam for making gold calves, God killed his son. 14:17
Baasha kills "all of the house of Jeroboam" leaving none "to breath." This s
laughter was done "according to the word of the Lord." 15:29
"I will ... make thy house like the house of Jeroboam. Him that dieth of Baa
sha in the city shall the dogs eat; and him that dieth of his in the fields shal
l the fowls of the air eat."
God says he's going to kill Baasha's family (like he did Jeroboam's). 16:3-4
"He slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a
wall, neither of his kinsfolks, nor of his friends. Thus did Zimri destroy all
the house of Baasha, according to the word of the LORD."
Zimri kills everyone "that pisseth against a wall ... according to the word
of the Lord." 16:11-12
"When Zimri saw that the city was taken, that he went into the palace of the
king's house, and burnt the king's house over him with fire, and died. For his
sins which he sinned in doing evil in the sight of the LORD, in walking in the w
ay of Jeroboam, and in his sin which he did, to make Israel to sin."
Did God force Zimri to burn himself to death? 16:18-19
"Zimri ... died ... doing evil in the sight of the LORD." 16:18-19
"He laid the foundation thereof in Abiram his firstborn, and set up the
s thereof in his youngest son Segub, according to the word of the LORD."
When Hiel rebuilds Jericho, he lays the foundation with the body of his
st son and sets up the gates with his youngest son's body "according to the
of the Lord."
Did God want Hiel to sacrifice his sons in this way? Did he make him do
What does "according to the word of the Lord" mean here? 16:34

gate
olde
word
it?

Elijah kills 450 prophets of Baal. 18:22, 40
"There came a prophet unto Ahab king of Israel, saying, Thus saith the LORD,
Hast thou seen all this great multitude? behold, I will deliver it into thine h
and this day; and thou shalt know that I am the LORD." 20:13
"They slew every one his man: and the Syrians fled; and Israel pursued them
... And the king of Israel ... slew the Syrians with a great slaughter."
The first God assisted "great slaugher" of the Syrians. 20:21
God delivers the Syrians into the Israelites' hands, and 100,000 were killed
in one day. Of those that escaped, 27,000 were crushed by a falling wall. (It w
as a really big wall.) 20:28-30
"A man of God ... said, Thus saith the LORD, Because the Syrians have said,
The LORD is God of the hills, but he is not God of the valleys, therefore will I
deliver all this great multitude into thine hand, and ye shall know that I am t
he LORD."
God kills 127,000 Syrians because they said he was God of the hills but not
God of the valleys. 20:28
"The children of Israel slew of the Syrians an hundred thousand footmen in o
ne day." 20:29
"There a wall fell upon twenty and seven thousand of the men that were left.

" 20:30
"Ben-hadad said unto him, The cities, which my father took from thy father,
I will restore ... Then said Ahab, I will send thee away with this covenant. So
he made a covenant with him, and sent him away."
King Ahab is merciful to king Beh-hada. God will later kill him for it. (See
1 Kings 20:42 and 22:35) 20:34
There was this son of a prophet that said to his neighbor, "Smite me." But t
he neighbor refused. So God sent a lion to devour him. 20:35-36
Thus saith the LORD, Because thou hast let go out of thy hand a man whom I a
ppointed to utter destruction, therefore thy life shall go for his life, and thy
people for his people."
The prophet tells king Ahab that he will be killed and his people punished f
or not killing Ben-hadad: "Your life shall go for his life, and your people for
his people." 20:42
"Thou didst blaspheme God and the king."
Although Naboth was set up here by Jezebel to steal his land, the text assum
es that the proper punishment for "blaspheming God and the king" is death by sto
ning. 21:10-13
"Thus saith the Lord, in the place where dogs licked the blood of Naboth sha
ll dogs lick thy blood, even thine."
God says that dogs with lick Ahab's blood. But Jezebel, not Ahab, was repson
sible for Naboth's death. 21:19
"Behold, I will bring evil upon thee, and will take away thy posterity, and
will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall."
God will "bring evil upon" Ahab and kill everyone in his family "that pisset
h against the wall." 21:21
The dogs shall eat Jezebel."
Jezebel (Ahab's "strange" wife) "stirred up" Ahab to "work wickedness in the
sight of the Lord." To punish her, God will feed her dead body to the dogs. He
also plans to feed Ahab's family to the dogs (if they live in the city) and to t
he birds (if they are country folks). 21:23-25
"Seest thou how Ahab humbleth himself before me? because he humbleth himself
before me, I will not bring the evil in his days: but in his son's days will I
bring the evil upon his house."
Since Ahab humbles himself before the Lord, God decides not to bring evil on
him; he'll he'll bring it on Ahab's son instead. 21:29
"And the LORD said, Who shall persuade Ahab?"
God asks for volunteer among the guys hanging out with him. He wants one of
them to lie for him so that he can get Ahab kiiled. 22:19-22
Jehoshaphat "did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord" and "took" th
e homosexuals (sodomites) "out of the land," or as the RSV says, "he exterminate
d" them. 22:43, 46
2 Kings
Ahaziah was sick and sent messengers to Baalzebub to ask if he would recover
. God was jealous of the attention given to his competitor and tells Ahaziah tha
t he will die for asking the wrong god. 1:2-8
Elijah shows that he is "a man of God" by burning 102 men to death. He did t

he job in two shifts of 51 men each. 1:9-12
God kills Ahaziah for consulting another God. 1:16-17
God sends two bears to rip up 42 little children for making fun of Elisha's
bald head. 2:23-24
God instructs the Israelites, through the prophet Elisha, to implement a sco
rched earth policy on the Moabites. "Strike every fortified city and every choic
e city, and fell every good tree and stop all springs of water, and mar every go
od piece of land with stones." 3:19-25
In a desperate attempt to halt the slaughter of his people by the Israelites
, the king of Moab sacrifices his oldest son as a burnt offering. And it seems t
o have worked! 3:27
Elisha not only can cure leprosy, he can also dish it out. Here he makes his
servant (Gehazi) and all his descendants lepers forever. 5:27
"Elisha prayed unto the LORD, and said, Smite this people, I pray thee, with
blindness. And he smote them with blindness according to the word of Elisha. 6:
18
"So we boiled my son, and did eat him." Women killed, boiled and ate their o
wn children because of a plague that God sent, or as the Bible puts it: "Behold,
this evil is of the Lord." 6:28-29, 33
Someone questions Elisha's forecast, and Elisha tells him (indirectly) that
he'll be killed for it. (And he is. See 7.17-20.) 7:2
A man is trampled to death for disbelieving Elisha. 7:17-20
God sends a famine on the people that lasts for seven years. 8:1
God announces his plan to kill Ahab's family. 9:6-10
"Thus saith the LORD God ... thou shalt smite the house of Ahab thy master,
that I may avenge the blood of my servants the prophets, and the blood of all th
e servants of the LORD, at the hand of Jezebel." 9:6-7
"For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him
that pisseth against the wall." 9:8
"I will make the house of Ahab like the house of Jeroboam ... Baasha."
God will kill Ahab's family just like he did the families of Jeroboam and Ba
asha. 9:9
"And the dogs shall eat Jezebel ... and there shall be none to bury her." 9:
10
God pays back Ahab by killing his son. 9:24
God has Jezebel thrown off a wall. Her blood is sprinkled on the wall and on
the horses, by which she is trampled. Her body is eaten by dogs and all that re
mains of it is her hands, feet, and skull. God says that she "shall be as dung u
pon the face of the field." 9:33-37
All seventy of king Ahab's sons are killed, their heads put in baskets, and
sent to Jezreel. He says, "Lay ye them in two heaps ..." 10:7-8

Jehu kills all that remained of king Ahab's family. 10:11
Jehu meets with 42 brothers of Ahaziah, and then he murders them. 2 Chronicl
es 22:7 says that his killing was "of God." 10:13-14
Jehu shows off his zeal for the Lord by murdering "all that remained unto Ah
ab in Samaria, till he had destroyed him according to the word of the Lord." 10:
16-17
Jehu lied to the followers of Baal so that he could trap and kill them. 10:1
9
Jehu warns his guards saying, "If any of the men escape, he that letteth him
go, his life shall be for the life of him." 10:24
Jehu, when he finishes his animal sacrifices, orders his men to "Go in, and
slay them, let none come forth. And they smote them with the edge of the sword."
10:25
God is greatly pleased with all of Jehu's killings, saying "because thou has
t done well in executing that which is right in mine eyes, and hast done unto th
e house of Ahab according to all that was in mine heart [Jehu murdered them all]
, thy children of the fourth generation shall sit on the throne of Israel." 10:3
0
Jehoida has Athaliah killed. 11:15-16
The "Lord's people" destroyed the "house of Baal" and killed "the priest of
Baal before the altars." 11:17-18
Amaziah "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord" and killed ten t
housand Edomites. 14:3, 7
God strikes king Azariah with leprosy "unto the day of his death" for not re
moving the high places. 15:5
God sent lions to devour the foreigners in Samaria because "they feared not
the Lord," and even worse "they knew not the manner of the God of the land." 17:
25-26
I will send a blast upon him, and he shall hear a rumour, and shall return t
o his own land; and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land."
God will cause Sennacherib to be killed by the sword. (See verse 37 where Se
nnacherib is killed by his own sons while praying.) 19:7
An "angel of the Lord" kills 185,000 men while they sleep. "And when they ar
ose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead corpses." I guess they all
woke up and said, "Shucks, I'm dead." 19:35
"Sennacherib ... departed ... And ... as he was worshipping in the house of
Nisroch his god, that Adrammelech and Sharezer his sons smote him with the sword
."
God made the sons murder their father. (See verse 7.) 19:36-37
Josiah, apparently with God's approval, kills "all the priests of the high p
laces" and sacrifices them to God on their altars. Note that this is a guy who "
did what was right in the eyes of the Lord" (2 Kings 22:2). 23:20
Even though Josiah did all that God asked of him, God still punished him and
all Jerusalem for the acts of his grandfather. 23:26

1 Chronicles
God killed Er for being "evil in the sight of the Lord." 2:3
The sons of Reuben made war with the Hagarites and "there fell down many sla
in, because the war was from God." They did pretty well for themselves, too, in
God's war, taking 250,000 sheep and 100,000 slaves. 5:18-22
But the Israelites "transgressed against the God of their fathers, and went
a whoring after the gods of the people of the land, whom God destroyed before th
em." So God inspired the Assyrians to enslave the Israelites. 5:25-26
"Phinehas ... the LORD was with him."
See Numbers 25:7-8 to see what he did when the Lord was with him. 9:20
"Now the Philistines fought against Israel; and the men of Israel fled from
before the Philistines, and fell down slain in mount Gilboa."
God used the Philistines to kill the Israelite soldiers to punish Saul for n
ot killing all the Amalekites. (See 1 Samuel 28:19) 10:1
Saul died for refusing God's order to kill all of the Amalekites (1 Sam 15:2
-3, 18-19) and for consulting a witch (1 Sam 28:8-19). 10:13-14
"David said, Whosoever smiteth the Jebusites first shall be chief and captai
n." 11:6
The chief of David's captains killed with his own spear 300 guys at one time
. 11:11
Eleazar the son of Dodo ... one of the three mighties ... slew the Philistin
es; and the LORD saved them by a great deliverance." 11:12-14
Abishai killed 300 men with his spear. 11:20
"Benaiah ... slew two lionlike men of Moab: also he went down and slew a lio
n." 11:22
God kills Uzza for trying to keep the ark from falling. 13:9-10
"The LORD said unto him, Go up; for I will deliver them into thine hand."
God tells David to go to war with the Philistines, promising to deliver them
into his hand. 14:10
"God hath broken in upon mine enemies by mine hand."
God helps David slaughter his enemies. 14:11
"David therefore did as God commanded him: and they smote the host of the Ph
ilistines." 14:16
"David also houghed all the chariot horses." 18:4
"David slew of the Syrians two and twenty thousand men." 18:5
"The LORD preserved David whithersoever he went." 18:6
"Abishai ... slew of the Edomites in the valley of salt eighteen thousand ..
. and all the Edomites became David's servants. Thus the LORD preserved David wh
ithersoever he went." 18:12-13

David kills 7000 men in chariots and 40,000 footmen. 19:18
David's army "wastes the children of Ammon ... besieged Rabbah ... and destr
oyed it." 20:1
David tortured or enslaved (depending on translation) all the inhabitants of
several cities. 20:3
God killed 70,000 mean (and their families) in a plague to punish David for
having a census that God (or Satan) inspired. 21:14
2 Chronicles
"Solomon ... offered a thousand burnt offerings upon it." 1:6
"Solomon ... sacrificed sheep and oxen, which could not be told nor numbered
for multitude." 5:6
"When Solomon had made an end of praying, the fire came down from heaven, an
d consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices." 7:1
Solomon, when dedicating the temple, killed 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep. 7
:5
God sent Shishak, the king of Egypt, to attack Jerusalem because Rehoboam "a
nd all Israel transgressed against the Lord." Shishak had 1200 chariots, 60,000
horsemen and "people without number" and he attacked Judah and "took the fenced
cities which pertained to Judah." When Shishak's army came to Jerusalem, "the pr
inces of Israel and the king humbled themselves" and said, "The Lord is righteou
s." So God decided not to destroy Jerusalem, but just make them Shishak's slaves
instead. 12:2-12
God kills the king of Israel and helps Abijah kill 500,000 Israelites. "The
children of Judah prevailed, because they relied upon the Lord God of their fath
ers." (That is, they had God on their side.) 13:15-20
In the largest single God-assisted massacre in the Bible, Asa, with God's he
lp, kills one million Ethiopians. 14:8-14
"Nation was destroyed of nation, and city of city: for God did vex them with
all adversity." 15:6
"And they offered unto the LORD ... seven hundred oxen and seven thousand sh
eep." 15:9
"Whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whe
ther small or great, whether man or woman." 15:13
Executing non-believers brings peace. 15:15
"A certain man drew a bow ... and smote the king of Israel ... and about the
time of the sun going down he died."
God killed Ahab for showing mercy to king Benhadad. (See 1 Kings 20:42) 18:3
3-34
The spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel (the son of Zechariah, the son of
Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattanaiah) and told the people of Judah t
hat they didn't have to fight against the Moabites, Ammonites, and Edomites. God
would fight for them. And he did. God fought for them by forcing the members of
the opposing army to kill each other. Then the people of Judah spent three days

stripping the jewels and other valuables from the dead bodies. 20:14-25
Elijah tells Jehoram that God will smite his children, wives, and the people
of Judah with a great plague (for things that Jehoram did) and God will smite h
im with a disease of his bowels until his bowels fall out. 21:14-15
The LORD stirred up against Jehoram the spirit of the Philistines, and of th
e Arabians ... And they came up into Judah, and ... and carried away ... his son
s also, and his wives; so that there was never a son left him, save Jehoahaz, th
e youngest of his sons." 21:16-17
"And after all this the LORD smote him in his bowels with an incurable disea
se. And it came to pass, that in process of time, after the end of two years, hi
s bowels fell out by reason of his sickness: so he died of sore diseases." 21:18
-19
God told Jehu to kill everyone in the house of Ahab and then later condemned
him for it (Hosea 1:4). 22:7-9
Only Levites can enter "the house of the Lord". "Whosoever else cometh into
the house, he shall be put to death." 23:6-7
The priest (Jehoiada) tells the people to kill Athaliah and her followers. S
o they find her and kill her. "And all the people of the land rejoiced: and the
city was quiet, after that they had slain Athaliah with the sword." (Don't you j
ust love happy endings?) 23:14-15, 21
"Then all the people went to the house of Baal" and broke its altar into pie
ces and killed Mattan the priest of Baal. 23:17
The spirit of God came upon Zechariah and he condemned everyone for disobeyi
ng God, so the people stoned him to death. As he was dying, Zechariah asked God
to avenge his death. So God sent the Syrians to kill all the princes and God del
ivered the army of Judah into their hand. In the process, Joash was wounded and
then killed in his bed. 24:20-25
Amaziah (who "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord") killed 10,
000 people; another 10,000 he left alive to throw off a cliff "that they all wer
e broken in pieces." 25:1-2, 11-12
God was pleased with Amaziah when he was slaughtering Edomites and throwing
people off cliffs, but not when he decided to worship other gods. So God decided
to kill Amaziah and cause his army to be defeated by the Israelites. 25:16-27
"Uzziah ... did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, according to
all that his father Amaziah did."
LIke throwing 10,000 men off a cliff? (See 25:12) 26:3-4
"He went forth and warred against the Philistines ... And God helped him aga
inst the Philistines, and against the Arabians that dwelt in Gurbaal, and the Me
hunims." 26:6-7
"Jothan ... did that which was right in the sight of the LORD ... He fought
... with the king of the Ammonites." 27:1-5
God makes Uzziah a leper for burning incense without a license. 26:19-21
Pekah killed 120,000 people in one day and enslaves 200,000 women and childr
en "because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers." 28:6-8

Hezekiah's priests kill 70 bullocks, 100 rams, 200 lambs, 600 oxen, and 3000
sheep for God. The blood of the dead animals is then sprinkled on the altars. 2
9:22-35
The priests killed the passover and sprinkled the blood around to sanctify a
ll the unclean people for the Lord. 30:15-17
"With us is the LORD our God to help us, and to fight our battles." 32:8
God sent an angel to kill the Assyrian army. (According to 2 Kings 19:35 the
angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers who woke the next morning to discover th
at they were dead.) 32:21
God vows to "bring evil upon this place ... even all the curses that are wri
tten in the book." He says his "wrath shall be poured out upon this place, and s
hall not be quenched." 34:24-25
God gets angry with his people, so he sends the king of the Chaldees to kill
all the "young men with the sword." He has compassion for no one, not even old
men that are "stooped for age." In his tender mercy and loving kindness he has t
hem all slaughtered. 36:16-17
Esther
With nothing more than suspicion and hearsay, Esther has two men hanged (aft
er a brief inquisition). 2:21-23
Without a trial, Esther has another man (Haman) hung. 7:6-10
After hanging Haman at Esther's request, the king gave Esther (and her buddy
Mordecai) Haman's ring and house. 8:1-7
At Esther's request, the king orders a preemptive strike on all 127 province
s from Egypt to Ethiopia. Everyone who planned to kill Jews shall be killed by J
ews, along with their wives and children. And all this killing is to take place
on a single day.
(How are the Jews to figure out who planned to kill them and who didn't? Wer
e they supposed to just kill them all and let God sort it out? And why did they
need to kill the women and children?) 8:9-11
On the day when all Jew-haters (and their families) were killed by Jews, "th
e Jews had light, and gladness, and joy, and honour ... a feast and a good day."
8:16-17
"Many of the people of the land became Jews; for the fear of the Jews fell u
pon them."
God's favorite way of making converts: Convert or be killed! 8:17
The Jews kill everyone who ever had a bad thought toward them, along with th
eir Jew-hating families. 9:1-16
"The Jews smote all their enemies with the stroke of the sword, and slaughte
r, and destruction, and did what they would unto those that hated them." 9:5
"In Shushan the palace the Jews slew and destroyed five hundred men." 9:6
"The ten sons of Haman the son of Hammedatha, the enemy of the Jews, slew th
ey." 9:10
Esther asks the king to kill all those who planned to kill the Jews and hang

the already dead bodies of Haman's ten sons on trees. 9:12-14
"The Jews ... slew three hundred men at Shushan." 9:15
"The other Jews ... slew of their foes seventy and five thousand." 9:16
Job
To start off God and Satan's gruesome game, Job's slaves and animals are bur
ned to death or killed with swords. Then Job's children are killed in a windstor
m while partying. 1:13-19
God (or Satan -- it's hard to tell them apart) sends a wind that kills Job's
sons and daughters. 1:18-19
God and Satan play a little game with Job. God allows Satan to torment Job,
just to see how he will react. 2:3-7
"So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore
boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown." 2:7
Because of God's cruel wager with Satan, Job curses the day he was born. 3:2
-3, 11
"The arrows of the Almighty are within me ... the terrors of God do set them
selves in array against me." 6:4
"Thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions" 7:14
God multiplies wounds without cause, destroys the perfect along with the wic
ked, laughs at the trial of the innocent, and hides the truth from judges. 9:17,
22-24
Speaking of God, Job says: "He teareth me in his wrath, who hateth me: he gn
asheth upon me with his teeth." 16:9
"God hath ... taken me by my neck, and shaken me to pieces." 16:11-12
"He cleaveth my reins asunder, and doth not spare; he poureth out my gall up
on the ground." 16:13
"Wilt thou hunt the prey for the lion?"
God seems pleased to have created prey for lions and ravens to eat. 38:39-41
"The eagle ... seeketh the prey.... Her young ones suck up blood."
God is pleased with the way that predators kill and devour their prey. 39:27
-30
Psalms
If you ask God, he'll force heathens to be your slaves and help you "dash th
em in pieces." 2:8-9
Kiss the Son or God will get angry and might have to kill you. 2:12
God has smitten his "enemies upon the cheek bone" and has "broken the teeth
of the ungodly." 3:7
Christians often say that one should love the sinner but hate the sin. Perha
ps, but God hates sinners and plans to destroy them. 5:5-6

God has prepared deadly weapons (swords, bows, etc.) and plans to use them.
7:11-13
If you pray to God, he will kill your enemies for you. 9:3-6
God will rain fire and brimstone on "wicked" folks. 11:6
The God of peace teaches us how to kill our neighbors in war. 18:34
God helps believers kill and enslave their enemies. 18:40-43
If you make God angry, he'll burn you and your children to death. 21:9-10
God will shoot his adversaries in the back with his arrows. 21:12
A sweet prayer for the destruction of one's enemies: Let their way be dark a
nd slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them.... Let destruction co
me upon him at unawares." 35:6,8
God laughs at those that he will later torment. 37:13
If you forget God, God will tear you into pieces. 50:22
If you don't trust in God, he'll kill you and while you're dying the "righte
ous" will laugh at you. 52:5-7
Referring to his enemies, the psalmist says: "Let death seize upon them, and
let them go down quick into hell." 55:15
The psalmist devoutly prays: "Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth ... l
et them be cut in pieces." 58:6-7
"Let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that t
hey may not see the sun."
A prayer that your enemies will die like an aborted fetus. 58:8
"The righteous" will rejoice when he sees "the wicked" being dismembered by
God. He'll even get a chance to wash his feet in their blood. Now that's enterta
inment! 58:10
The psalmist asks God to kill all "the heathen" and not show them any mercy.
59:5
God will laugh at the heathen as he kills them. 59:8
"The God of mercy" will let the psalmist see his enemies tormented. 59:10
"Consume them in thy wrath, consume them." -- more sweet prayers to a savage
god. 59:13
Joab returned, and smote of Edom in the valley of salt twelve thousand. 60:1
God will "wound the head of his enemies" so that the righteous can wash thei
r feet "in the blood of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same."
68:21, 23
The psalmist prays that his enemies be tormented and blinded by God. He asks
God to "make their loins continually to shake." 69:23-28

"They that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that
go a whoring from thee." 73:27
"The LORD heard this" (he had his hearing aid on) and became angry, and burn
ed people "because they believed not in God." 78:21-22
"The wrath of God came upon them" and God killed many of the Israelites for
not believing in "his wondrous works." 78:31-34
The psalmist asks God to " do unto them as unto the Midianites ... which bec
ame as dung for the earth." 83:9-18
If you don't follow God's commandments, he will beat you with a rod. 89:31-3
2
"A fire goeth before him, and burneth up his enemies round about." 97:3
"I will ... destroy all the wicked of the land." 101:8
God gives the lions their meat. The cruelty and brutality of nature are all
part of God's plan. 104:21
The psalmist recounts God's treatment of the Egyptians: "He smote the firstb
orn in their land." See Exodus 12:29-30 for the gory details. 105:29-36
God is praised for the creative ways that he kills people: drowning, earth-s
wallowing, burning, etc. 106:11-19
God sent a plague on the Israelites for "committing whoredom with the daught
ers of Moab." But "then stood up Phinehas, and executed judgment [by throwing a
spear through a newly married couple]: and so the plague was stayed." But not be
fore 24,000 (1 Corinthians 10:8 says 23,000) had died. (See Numbers 25:6-9 for a
ll the gory details.) 106:29-30
The psalmist asks God to do all sorts of unpleasant things to his enemies. "
Set thou a wicked man over him; and let Satan stand at his right hand .... Let h
is prayer become sin." He asks God to take away his possessions, kill him, and h
ave his children suffer for the sins of their fathers. 109:6-14
"Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow." 109:9
"Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg." 109:10
God will "fill the places with dead bodies" of heathens. 110:6
God is praised for slaughtering kings, nations, and little babies. 135:8, 10
"To him that smote Egypt in their first born: for his mercy endures forever.
" 136:10
God "overthrew Pharaoh and his host in the Red sea: for his mercy endureth f
or ever." 136:15
God "smote great kings: for his mercy endureth for ever." 136:17-18
God will send people to smash little Babylonian children against stones to p
unish the Babylonians for enslaving the Israelites during the Babylonian captivi
ty. These happy ("blessed" in the ESV) children smashers are God's instruments f
or carrying out his vengeance. 137:8-9

"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the ston
es." 137:9
The psalmist excels at hating. He hates people with a "perfect hatred" and a
sks God to kill them. 139:19-22
A prayer that God will burn people to death. 140:10
The God of Peace teaches us to kill each other in war. 144:1
The saints praise God while they kill and enslave "the heathen." 149:5-8
Proverbs
God will laugh at your misfortunes, mock you when you are afraid, and ignore
you when you ask him for help. And if you seek him, you will not find him. 1:26
-28
"A rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding."
Beat the people who don't understand with a rod. 10:13
"Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed." 13:13
Beating your children with a rod is a sure sign of parental love. 13:24
God made bad people for the pleasure of punishing them. 16:4
"The wrath of a king is as messengers of death." 16:14
Fools are meant to be beaten. 18:6
Beat your children and don't stop just because they cry. 19:18
Scorners (skeptics?) should be condemned; fools should be beaten. 19:29
"A wise king scattereth the wicked, and bringeth the wheel over them." A wis
e king will crush those that he considers "wicked." 20:26
"The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts
of the belly." 20:30
"The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous." 21:18
Beating your children will make them less foolish. Have you beaten your chil
d today? 22:15
Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may b
reak a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. A
nd even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for b
eating the hell out of them. 23:13-14
Whip horses and strike the backs of foolish people with rods. 26:3
Beating your children will make them wise. 29:15
Beat your servants (slaves), as though they were your children. 29:19
If you mock your father or disobey your mother, the ravens will pick out you
r eyeballs and the eagles will eat them. 30:17

"The wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood." 30:33
Isaiah
"If ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword." 1:20
I will ease me of mine adversaries, and avenge me of mine enemies." 1:24
"The destruction of the transgressors and of the sinners shall be together,
and they that forsake the LORD shall be consumed." 1:28
"The LORD of hosts, doth take away from Jerusalem and from Judah ... bread,
and ... water." 3:1
"Thy men shall fall by the sword." 3:24-25
After God "washed away the filth" from the women and killed the men, he set
up "a cloud and smoke by day" and a "flaming fire by night." 4:4-5
God will kill those who despise his word and fail to follow his laws. Their
carcasses will be "torn in the midst of the streets." 5:24-25
If you associate or gird yourself, God will break you in pieces. 8:9
God will have no mercy on the widows and children of hypocrites. 9:17
God will make every man kill his brother and then force him to eat "the fles
h of his own arm." 9:19-20
God will "smite the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of
his lips he shall slay the wicked." God must have some pretty bad breath! 11:4
Some day God will have his "mighty ones ... destroy the whole land." 13:3-5
On God's day he will kill sinners with great anger, wrath, and cruelty. Thos
e who die will have their faces consumed by flames. 13:6-9
If God can find you, he will "thrust you through," smash your children "to p
ieces" before your eyes, and rape your wife. He will have no mercy, but will eve
n kill your little children. 13:15-18
God will slaughter children "for the iniquity of their fathers." 14:21
After God destroys Moab, the rivers will be red with blood. He will send lio
ns to eat any survivors. 15:9
The God of Peace will set brother against brother and kingdom against kingdo
m. Then he'll make the survivors seed the counsel of "wizards," and subject them
to a "cruel lord." 19:2-4
The Apocalypse of Isaiah: God will destroy the earth, burning everyone and e
very living thing alive (except maybe a few men). 24:1-6
"And the people shall ... be burned in the fire." 33:12
"Who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire? who among us shall dwell
with everlasting burnings?" 33:14
God is furious at everyone and is ready to kill them all. Or as Isaiah so de
licately puts it: "Their stink shall come up out of their carcasses, and the mou

ntains shall be melted with their blood." 34:2-3
"My sword shall be bathed in heaven ... it shall come down ... upon the peop
le of my curse." 34:5
"The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness ...
and a great slaughter." 34:6
"Their land shall be soaked with blood." 34:7
"For it is the day of the LORD's vengeance." 34:8
"The streams thereof shall be turned into pitch, and the dust thereof into b
rimstone, and the land thereof shall become burning pitch." 34:9
"It shall not be quenched night nor day; the smoke thereof shall go up for e
ver: from generation to generation it shall lie waste ... for ever and ever." 34
:10
"The LORD said unto me, Go up against this land, and destroy it." 36:10
I will send a blast upon him, and he shall hear a rumour, and shall return t
o his own land; and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land."
God will cause Sennacherib to be killed by the sword. (See verse 38 where Se
nnacherib is killed by his own sons while praying.) 37:7
"Sennacherib ... departed, and ... as he was worshipping in the house of Nis
roch his god, that Adrammelech and Sharezer his sons smote him with the sword."
God made the sons murder their father. (See verse 7.) 37:37-38
An angel of God kills 185,000 men. "And when they [those killed by the angel
?] arose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead men." 37:36
God will "go forth as a mighty man" who cries and roars, and "will cry like
a travailing woman." After he tires of roaring and crying he'll "destroy and dev
our." What a guy. 42:13
God makes Egypt, Ethiopia, and Seba pay for Israel's sins. He says that he l
ikes Israel better than any other country so he's willing to sacrifice other cou
ntries for the Israel's sake. 43:3-4
No astrologer, stargazer, or prognosticator will be able to save those that
God plans to burn to death. 47:13-14
"The Lord ... will do his pleasure on Babylon, and his arm shall be on the C
haldeans." 48:14
"I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be
drunken with their own blood, as with sweet wine." 49:26
"I dry up the sea, I make the rivers a wilderness: their fish stinketh, beca
use there is no water, and dieth for thirst."
God brags about the strangest things. 50:2
"The heavens shall vanish away like smoke, and the earth shall wax old like
a garment, and they that dwell therein shall die in like manner." (God plans to
destroy the universe.) 51:6
"I will ... trample them in my fury; and their blood ... will stain all my r
aiment." (God's clothes will get stained with the blood of humans.) 63:2-6

"God's servants" will eat, drink, and be merry; everyone else will be hungry
, thirsty, and ashamed -- until God kills them, that is. 65:13-15
"Ye are they that forsake the LORD ... Therefore will I number you to the sw
ord, and ye shall all bow down to the slaughter." 65:11-12
God will "plead with all flesh" with fire and sword, "and the slain of the L
ord shall be many." 66:15-16
Don't worship incorrectly or eat swine flesh (like ham or bacon) or God will
have to kill you. 66:17
"They shall ... look upon the carcases of the men that have transgressed aga
inst me: for their worm shall not die, neither shall t heir fire be quenched; an
d they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh." 66:24
Jeremiah
God tries to "correct" people by killing their children. 2:30
"Circumcise the foreskin of your heart" or God will burn you to death. 4:4
"I will bring evil from the north, and a great destruction." 4:6
"The lion is come up from his thicket ... and thy cities shall be laid waste
, without an inhabitant." 4:7
Lament and howl: for the fierce anger of the LORD is not turned back from us
." 4:8
What was once fruitful is now barren. Birds have fled, people are gone, town
s are in ruins. All "by his (God's) fierce anger." 4:25-26
God tries to reform people by tormenting them and then wonders why it doesn'
t work. 5:3
God will send lions, wolves, and leopards to tear people to pieces.5:6
God will burn the people to death for discovering his non-existence. 5:14
God again talks of bringing a foreign nation to destroy his chosen ones and
their lands. 5:15-17
God just can't hold in his fury any longer. He will kill everyone: husbands
and wives, children and old people. 6:11
God will punish the men by taking away their property, including their wives
, and giving it to others. 6:12
God plans to kill pretty much everyone: fathers and sons, family, friends, a
nd neighbors. God plans to kill them all after laying a stumbling block before t
hem. 6:21
God will send soldiers from the north that will kill everyone and have no me
rcy. 6:22-23
God will pour out his anger on both man and beast. Not even the trees will b
e spared from his wrath. And the ground itself will burn forever. 7:20

God will feed the people to the birds and the beasts, "and none shall fray t
hem away." 7:33
God will cover the earth with dead bodies that will not be buried. "They sha
ll be for dung upon the face of the earth." 8:2
People will choose to kill themselves, rather than be killed by their viciou
s God. 8:3
God will give the people bad food and water, and then kill them with a sword
. 9:15-16
God will kill children and young men, and the dead bodies "shall fall as dun
g .... and none shall gather them." 9:21-22
"Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will punish all them which ar
e circumcised with the uncircumcised." I guess that'd include just about everyon
e -- well, all the men anyway. 9:25-26
Jeremiah prays for the destruction of people and families that don't call on
God's name. 10:25
God "will bring evil upon" people from which they will not be able to escape
. And if they cry out to him for help, he will not help them. 11:11
God forbids others from praying for his victims. Such prayers would go unans
wered anyway, he says, because he "will not hear them in their time of trouble."
11:14
God will punish the people by killing their young men in war and starving th
eir children to death. 11:22
Jeremiah asks God to drag away his enemies like "sheep for the slaughter."
12:3
God delivered his people "into the hand of her enemies." He "hates" his "dea
rly beloved" people and plans to feed them to the birds. 12:7-9
God's sword will "devour" everyone until "no flesh shall have peace." 12:12
If any nation does not listen to God, he "will utterly pluck up and destroy
that nation." 12:17
God plans to make everyone in the kingdom drunk and then "dash the fathers a
nd the sons together." The merciful God of peace vows to "not pity, nor spare, n
or have mercy, but destroy them." 13:12-14
God tells Jeremiah not to pray for the people. God has decided to kill them
all and he doesn't want to be talked out of it. 14:11
God will ignore the peoples' prayers, and kill them all with war, starvation
, and disease. 14:12
God will destroy by famine and sword those who are misled by the prophets, a
s well as the prophets themselves. 14:15-16
God tells Jeremiah not to bother praying for the people. Even if Moses and S
amuel (and Jesus?) were to ask him to reconsider, he wouldn't. He's going to kil
l everybody and nobody can stop him! 15:1

God has it all planned out. He'll kill some with the sword, some with famine
, and he'll feed the rest to the dogs and birds. Why will he do these terrible t
hings? Because of something a former king did. 15:2-4
God again threatens Jerusalem with mass destruction. Here are some of the hi
ghlights: He will kill children, make more widows than there are grains of sand,
terrorize cities, and then kill the survivors. 15:7-9
"A fire is kindled in mine anger, which shall burn upon you." 15:14
God tells Jeremiah not to get married or have children, because he's going t
o kill everyone (mothers and daughters, fathers and sons). They all "shall die o
f grievous deaths," and that shall neither "be lamented" nor buried, but "shall
be as dung upon the face of the earth." For he has removed peace, "lovingkindnes
s," and mercy from the people. 16:1-7
God will kill children if their parents worship other gods. 16:10-11
If you don't honor the Sabbath, God will burn you to death unquenchable fire
. 17:27
God admits that he does evil things to people. 18:11
Jeremiah asks God to kill the young men in war and the children by starvatio
n. 18:21
God will do so much evil to the people that whoever hears of it will have th
eir ears tingle. 19:3
God will make parents eat their own children, and friends eat each other. 19
:7-9
God will break those who worship other gods as though they were made of clay
, killing so many that there will not be enough room to bury them all. 19:11-13
"Thus saith the LORD ... I will bring upon this city and upon all her towns
all the evil that I have pronounced against it, because they have hardened their
necks, that they might not hear my words." 19:15
Jeremiah prophesies his rival's death (along with his famly and friends). 20
:4-6
God himself will fight and kill everyone in fury "with an outstretched hand
and with a strong arm." 21:5
"I will smite the inhabitants of this city, both man and beast: they shall d
ie of a great pestilence." 21:6
God will deliver Zedekiah and those that survive the famine, disease, and wa
r into Nebuchadrezzar's hand, and "he shall smite them with the edge of the swor
d; he shall not spare them, neither have pity, nor have mercy. 21:7
God tells the Judeans to either surrender to the Babylonians and become thei
r slaves or die. "Behold, I am against thee." No kidding. 21:9-13
God will have Jeconiah's enemies kill him and his mother and then ensure tha
t he die without leaving any sons. 22:25-30
God promises to kill everyone by war, starvation, and disease. 24:10

Because the people of Judah were unfaithful to him, God will send the king o
f Babylon (Nebuchadrezzar) to destroy Jerusalem and enslave Judah. 25:6-11
God will force "all the kingdoms of the world" to drink "and be drunken." Th
en he'll kill "all the inhabitants of the earth" with a sword. 25:15-29
God is really getting into all of this killing. He roars, he mightily roars,
and shouts. He "pleads with all flesh" while an whirlwind roars and a noise can
be heard everywhere on earth. 25:30-32
God will kill so many people that the entire earth will be covered with thei
r dead bodies. No one is to mourn them or even bury them; "they shall be dung up
on the ground." 25:33-39
God will destroy "the peaceable habitations" and make the land desolate "bec
ause of his fierce anger." 25:37-38
Anyone who disobeys King Nebuchadnezzar will be punished "with the sword, an
d with the famine, and with the pestilence, until I have consumed them by his ha
nd." 27:8
God kills Hananiah for disagreeing with Jeremiah. 28:16-17
God will send his usual blessings upon his people: "the sword, the famine, a
nd the pestilence." He "will make them like vile figs, that cannot be eaten, the
y are so evil." 29:17-18
God will kill those who refuse listen to his prophets. 29:19
God will deliver Ahab and Zedekiah into the hands of Nebuchadrezzar "and he
shall slay them before your eyes" and Ahab will be "roasted in the fire." 29:2122
"Thus saith the LORD ... concerning this city [Jerusalem]...It shall be deli
vered into the hand of the king of Babylon by the sword, and by the famine, and
by the pestilence." 32:36
God litters the ground "with the dead bodies of men" that he has killed in h
is anger and fury. 33:5
To punish the people for refusing to free their slaves, God over-reacts (jus
t a tad) by threatening to send the sword, pestilence, and famine, saying he'll
feed their dead bodies to the fowls and beasts of the earth. 34:17-20
All those who move to Egypt will die by the sword, famine, or pestilence. No
ne "shall escape from the evil" that comes directly from God. But many, includin
g Jews, have moved to Egypt and most seem to have escaped from God's promised ev
il. 42:15-18, 22
God's not finished with Judah. He'll bring more evil upon them. Even those J
ews that flee to Egypt will not be spared. God will hunt them down and kill them
all with war, famine, and disease. 44:11-13
"I will watch over them for evil, and not for good." So begins another prono
uncement of death and destruction on his chosen people. 44:27-29
God says he will bring evil upon all flesh. 45:5
"I ... will cover the earth; I will destroy the city and the inhabitants the
reof." 46:8

The day of the Lord will be "a day of vengeance" On that day God's sword wil
l become drunk with blood. 46:10
"The sword shall devour round about thee." 46:14
"Why are thy valiant men swept away? ... because the Lord ... made many to f
all, yea, one fell upon another." 46:15-16
God plans to drown the Philistines in a flood, and "all the men shall cry, a
nd all the inhabitants of the land shall howl." 47:2
God plans to kill just about everybody. "No city shall escape." 48:8
"Cursed by he that keepeth back his sword from blood." 48:10
God will destroy everyone in Moab. Fire will burn their heads, and their son
s and daughters will be taken captive. 48:42-46
God will cause the daughters of the Ammonites to be burned with fire. 49:2
God will expose Esau's "secret places" and spoil his seed (kill his children
). 49:10
God will send such marvelous plagues on Edom that everyone will hiss in asto
nishment. 49:17
God will kill the young men of Damascus and set the city on fire. (Some Chri
stians believe this prophecy is being fulfulled today in Syrian civil war.) 49:2
6-27
God plans to "bring evil upon" the people of Elam. He says he'll kill them a
ll with a sword. 49:37
"Every one that goeth by Babylon shall be astonished, and hiss at all her pl
agues." 50:13
"Put yourselves in array against Babylon round about: all ye that bend the b
ow, shoot at her, spare no arrows: for she hath sinned against the LORD." 50:14
"It is the vengeance of the LORD: take vengeance upon her." 50:15
God says to do the usual thing to the inhabitants of "the land of Merathaim"
: kill them all. 50:21
"I have laid a snare for thee ... O Babylon, and thou wast not aware ... bec
ause thou hast striven against the LORD." 50:24
"The LORD hath opened his armoury, and hath brought forth the weapons of his
indignation: for this is the work of the Lord." 50:25
"Destroy her utterly: let nothing of her be left." 50:26
"Slay all her bullocks; let them go down to the slaughter: woe unto them!" 5
0:27
Call together the archers against Babylon ... let none thereof escape." 50:2
9
Therefore shall her young men fall in the streets, and all her men of war sh

all be cut off in that day, saith the LORD." 50:30
God, the pyromaniac, will personally set the fires that will burn to death t
he inhabitants of entire cities. 50:32
"Let the archer bend his bow ...and spare ye not her young men; destroy ye u
tterly all her host." 51:3
"The slain shall fall in the land of the Chaldeans, and they that are thrust
through in her streets." 51:4
"This is the time of the LORD's vengeance; he will render unto her a recompe
nce." 51:6
"Babylon hath been a golden cup in the LORD's hand, that made all the earth
drunken: the nations have drunken of her wine; therefore the nations are mad." 5
1:7
"Make bright the arrows ... it is the vengeance of the LORD, the vengeance o
f his temple." 51:11
"The LORD hath both devised and done that which he spake against the inhabit
ants of Babylon." 51:12
God plans to kill all the Babylonian horses, and to make the Babylonian men
"become like women." (A fate worse than death to a misogynous god.). 50:37
God wants us to be his "battle axe and weapons of war" to "break in pieces t
he nations" and "destroy kingdoms." 51:20
God will "break in pieces" pretty much everyone and everything he can think
of. 51:21
God will get the Babylonians drunk and then kill them all, leading them "lik
e lambs to the slaughter." 51:39-40
Lamentations
God tramples "as in a winepress" mighty men, young men, and virgins. 1:15-16
"The Lord Was an enemy." 2:4-8
God mercilessly kills everyone, young and old. He even causes women to eat t
heir children. 2:20-22
God is like a bear or a lion who secretly pursues you and then tears you apa
rt. 3:10-11
God shoots people with his bow and his arrows pierce their kidneys ("reins")
. 3:13
"He hath also broken my teeth with gravel stones."
3:16
"Thou hast slain, thou hast not pitied."
3:43
"Give them sorrow of heart, thy curse unto them. Persecute and destroy them
in anger." 3:63-64

God punishes the Israelites by starving their children to death. 4:4-9
God "accomplishes his fury" by making women eat their children. 4:10-11
Ezekiel
God's killing rules:
If Ezekiel doesn't warn the wicked that God's going to kill them for being w
icked, God will kill the wicked people and Ezekiel, too.
If Ezekiel warns the wicked, then God will kill the wicked people (if they d
on't change their wicked ways), but not Ezekiel.
If a good person does something wrong after God "lays a stumbling block befo
re him," then God will kill him. "He shall die in his sin" and whatever good he
has done will be forgotten. And Ezekiel will be killed, too, if he didn't warn t
he good guy beforehand. 3:18-20
God will force fathers to eat their sons and the to eat their fathers. 5:10
God will slaughter everyone by killing one third with plagues, one third wit
h famines, and one third with wars. If any somehow survive, he'll send "evil bea
sts" to devour them. Finally, after he's done killing, he "will be comforted." 5
:11-17
God will decorate the land with the bones and dead bodies of those who worsh
ip a different god. 6:4-5
God makes his presence known by killing people with famine, disease, and war
. 6:7-14
God tells Ezekiel to clap his hands and stamp his feet while saying, "they s
hall fall by the sword, by the famine, and by the pestilence." 6:11
God will pour out his fury on everyone, with pity toward none. By so doing h
e says that "ye shall know that I am the Lord that smiteth." 7:3-11
God's is mad at everyone and no one will escape his wrath. He'll kill them a
ll with war, disease, and starvation. "Horror shall cover them" and "they shall
know that I am the Lord." 7:14-27
God promises again to slaughter everyone. He says that he will ignore them w
hen they plead with him for mercy. 8:18
God screams in Ezekiel's ears, telling him to round up the six angels ("men"
) that are going to do God's dirty work. 9:1-2
God sends a "man clothed with linen" to mark the foreheads of the men who wi
ll be saved. Apparently only men are considered good enough to keep, the others
(unmarked men, "maids", little children, and women) are to be slaughtered. God s
ays he'll "fill the courts with the slain" and will have pity on no one. 9:4-11
"Go ye after him through the city, and smite: let not your eye spare, neithe
r have ye pity." 9:5
"Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women." 9:
6
"Fill the courts with the slain: go ye forth. And they went forth, and slew
in the city." 9:7
"Mine eye shall not spare, neither will I have pity." 9:10

Ezekiel tells the 25 men that God is going to kill them. That way they'll kn
ow that God is the Lord. 11:8-12
"And it came to pass, when I prophesied, that Pelatiah ... died." 11:13
God will kill nearly everyone in one way or another (sword, famine, pestilen
ce), but he ll leave a few men standing to declare their abominations among the hea
then. 12:15-16, 20
God has Ezekiel do another clever demonstration: eat and drink carefully whi
le shaking. That way, when the people see him doing that, they will know that Go
d is going to starve them to death, which will teach them that God is the Lord.
12:18-20
God again vows to destroy those that dare worship something or someone other
than him. 14:6-8
God deceives some of his prophets and then kills them for believing his lies
. 14:9
When really bad things happen (like you or your children get eaten by wild b
easts, get killed in war, get sick and die, etc.), then you'll know that it was
God that did it to you. And he won't spare children just because there are a few
righteous people around. 14:13-21
God will burn the inhabitants of Jerusalem to show everyone that he is the L
ord. 15:6-7
For being such a whore, God punished Jerusalem by starving the Israelites an
d handing them over to the Philistines. 16:17
After exposing her nakedness, God will give her "blood in fury and jealousy"
and strip her naked once more. Then he'll have her stoned "with stones and thru
st through with swords." 16:38-41
"The soul that sinneth, it shall die." 18:4
A son who misbehaves by robbing, killing, eating on mountains, defiling his
neighbor's wife, oppressing the poor, looking at idols, loaning money with inter
est, or committing abomination (Lev 18:22 type or otherwise) then that son must
be killed. 18:10-13
God will kill you for making a single mistake; all your good deeds he will i
gnore. 18:24-26
God will set a fire in the southern kingdom that will devour everything and
burn everyone. "And all flesh shall see that I the LORD have kindled it." 20:4748
God gave the Israelites "statutes that were not good and judgments whereby t
hey should not live." He "polluted" them so that he "might make them desolate" a
nd force them to kill and sacrifice their children "that they might know" that h
e is the Lord. 20:25-26
God will kill everyone -- good and bad, just and unjust. 21:3-5
God is sharpening a sword for the slaughter of his people. 21:8-32
"Thou shalt be for fuel to the fire; thy blood shall be in the midst of the

land ... for I the LORD have spoken it." 21:32
God will gather all of Israel and consume them in the fires of his anger. 22
:20-22
God couldn't find anyone to stand up to him, so he's going to destroy everyo
ne. 22:30-31
Two sisters were guilty of "committing whoredoms" by pressing their breasts
and bruising "the teats of their virginity." As a punishment, one sister's naked
ness was discovered, her children were taken from her, and she was killed by the
sword. And the fate of the surviving sister was even worse: Her nose and ears w
ere cut off, she was made to "pluck off" her own breasts, and then after being r
aped and mutilated, she is stoned to death. 23:1-49
"These discovered her nakedness: they took her sons and her daughters, and s
lew her with the sword." 23:10
"They shall take away thy nose and thine ears; and thy remnant shall fall by
the sword: they shall take thy sons and thy daughters; and thy residue shall be
devoured by the fire." 23:25
"I will deliver thee into the hand of them whom thou hatest ... And they sha
ll deal with thee hatefully." 23:28-29
"Thou shalt ... pluck off thine own breasts: for I have spoken it, saith the
Lord GOD." 23:34
"The company shall stone them with stones, and dispatch them with their swor
ds; they shall slay their sons and their daughters, and burn up their houses wit
h fire." 23:47
God gets all excited about cooking with "scum" and human flesh, saying "kind
le the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned.
Her scum shall be in the fire." 24:3-14
God kills Ezekiel's wife and then tells him not to mourn her. 24:16-18
God killed Ezekiel's wife to demonstrate his intention to kill the Israelite
s' children. And just as God told Ezekiel not to mourn his wife's death, God for
bids the parents to mourn the death of their children. 24:21-24
God will kill everyone that claps his hands or stamps his feet "against the
land of Israel." When he's done with the killing everyone will know that he is t
he Lord. 25:6-7
"I will execute judgments upon Moab; and they shall know that I am the LORD.
" 25:11
God will send Israelites to slaughter the people of Edom. 25:13-14
God will "stretch out his hand" to the Philistines (to kill them all). 25:16
-17
God says he will destroy Tyrus. He plans to kill everyone, but he is especia
lly looking forward to killing all of the women. "And her daughters which are in
the field shall be slain by the sword; and they shall know that I am the LORD."
26:1-21
Now God has singled out the king of Tyre for his tirades. 28:7-10, 18-19

Watch out or God will make you "die the deaths of the uncircumcised," which
is, no doubt, a most unpleasant death. 28:10
God says that Zidon will know that he is the Lord when he sends "pestilence
and blood into her streets." 28:22-23
God tells Ezekiel to prophesy against the pharaoh and against all Egypt. God
says he will feed the Egyptians to the birds and beasts. 29:2-9
God will punish Egypt and her allies by sending Nebuchadrezzar to "fill the
land with the slain." Then he will make "the rivers dry," sell the land to "the
wicked," make "the land waste," light fires, and kill all their young men with t
he sword. 30:4-26
"And they shall know that I am the LORD, when I have set a fire in Egypt." (
The Divine Pyromaniac) 30:8, 30:14, 30:16
"Thou shalt lie in the midst of the uncircumcised with them that be slain by
the sword. This is Pharaoh and all his multitude, saith the Lord GOD." 31:18
God will treat Pharaoh like a whale fished out of the sea. Every bird and be
ast in the world will feed upon him. 32:3-6
God will vex the hearts of many people, destroy entire nations, brandish his
sword, kill animals, and cause floods. In this way people will come to know him
(just before he kills them?). 32:9-15
God takes a break from killing people while he kills all the animals in Egyp
t. 32:13
Pharaoh and all his multitude, along with the uncircumcised, will be killed
with the sword. 32:20-32
When God is getting ready to kill people with the sword, it's the watchman's
duty to warn them about it by blowing a trumpet. If the people hear the trumpet
but don't "take warning," then God will kill the people but not the watchman. B
ut if the watchman doesn't blow the trumpet when he sees God coming, then God wi
ll kill the people and the watchman. 33:2-6
God tells Ezekiel that he is the watchman. So the usual watchman rules apply
to him. 33:7-9
If a "righteous" person does something wrong, God will forget every good thi
ng that that person has ever done. Then God will kill him for the single mistake
. 33:12-13
God plans some more killing by the sword, beasts, and the pestilence. 33:2729
God tells Ezekiel about his plans for the Edomites (Seir). He's going to kil
l them all. That way they'll know for sure that he is the Lord. 35:2-15
"Thou shalt come up against my people of Israel ... in the latter days, and
I will bring thee against my land, that the heathen may know me ... O Gog." 38:1
6
God will cause each man's sword to be against his brother; he will send dise
ase and make it rain fire and brimstone. He says that by doing this he'll magnif
y and sanctify himself and let everyone know that he is the Lord. 38:21-23

God will have birds and beasts eat human flesh and drink human blood until t
hey are full and drunken. 39:4, 17-20, 28
God sets a fire on Magog and feeds Gog and all of his people to the birds an
d beasts. He did all this to let them know that he is the Lord. 39:4-7
After the Israelites spend seven years burying Gog's soldiers, God (somehow)
feed their bodies to the birds and beasts and gets t hem drunk on their blood.
39:17-28
"They have even defiled my holy name by their abominations that they have co
mmitted: wherefore I have consumed them in mine anger." 43:8
God's instructions for ritualistic animal sacrifices 43:18-25
Don't bring any strangers or people with uncircumcised hearts or flesh to Go
d's sanctuary when your offering him fat and blood. 44:7-9
Stay away from idols or you'll bear your iniquity (i.e., God will kill you).
But be sure to offer God lots of fat and blood and burnt offerings. 44:10-15
How to kill animals for God 45:15-25
More important instructions from God on how to kill and sacrifice animals to
him. 46:2-7
How to prepare your daily meat, peace, and burnt offerings 46:11-15
How to boil your sin and trespass offerings and bake your meat offerings. 46
:20
The holy court dimensions 46:22
Daniel
After Daniel gave Belshazzar the bad news, Belshazzar rewarded him by making
him the "third ruler in the kindgdom." Later that night Belshazzar died. (Did G
od kill him?) 5:29-30
King Darius, after trying to feed Daniel to the lions, orders those who accu
sed Daniel (and their wives and children) to be cast into the lion den. "And the
lions ... brake all their bones in pieces." 6:24
Hosea
"I will no more have mercy upon the house of Israel." 1:6
God (or Hosea?) tells his children that their mother is a whore who is not h
is wife. He asks them to tell their mother to "put away her whoredoms" and "her
adulteries from between her breasts" or he'll "strip her naked ... and slay her
with thirst." 2:2-3
Because of the Israelites' disobedience, the land mourns, and all the animal
s are dying. 4:3
"Ephraim shall be desolate in the day of rebuke." 5:9
"The princes of Judah were like them that remove the bound: therefore I will
pour out my wrath upon them like water." 5:10

God will tear up Ephraim like a lion so that "in their affliction they will
seek me." 5:14
"I hewed them by the prophets; I have slain them by the words of my mouth."
6:5
"I will spread my net upon them; I will bring them down as the fowls of the
heaven." 7:12
"Woe unto them! for they have fled from me: destruction unto them!" 7:13
"They return, but not to the most High ... their princes shall fall by the s
word for the rage of their tongue." 7:16
"I will send a fire upon his cities." 8:14
God will induce miscarriages and kill the children of Ephraim. 9:11-12
"O Lord: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts."
9:14
"I will slay even the beloved fruit of their womb." 9:16
God will punish Israel by "dashing" together mothers and their children. 10:
14
"The sword shall abide on his cities ... and devour them." 11:6
God will rip humans apart and then eat them like a lion.13:7-8
"I will be thy plagues ... I will be thy destruction: repentance shall be hi
d from mine eyes." 13:14
Because the Samaritans chose to worship another deity, God will dash their i
nfants to pieces and their "women with child shall be ripped up." 13:16
Joel
"A fire devoureth before them ... nothing shall escape."
On "the day of the Lord", everything and everyone will be burned to death. 2
:3
"The people shall be much pained: all faces shall gather blackness." 2:6
People will try to commit suicide but will not be able to. 2:8
"Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruninghooks into spears." 3:10
"Egypt shall be a desolation, and Edom shall be a desolate wilderness." 3:19
Amos
The divine pyromaniac threatens to "send fire unto" Hazael, Gaza, Tyrus, Tem
an, Rabbah, Moab, and Judah. 1:4, 7, 10, 12, 14; 2:2, 5
"I will ... cut off the inhabitant from the plain of Aven ... and the people
of Syria shall go into captivity." 1:5
"I will cut off the inhabitant from Ashdod, and him that holdeth the sceptre

from Ashkelon, and I will turn mine hand against Ekron: and the remnant of the
Philistines shall perish, saith the Lord GOD." 1:8
God will "slay all the princes" of Moab.2:3
God destroyed the Amorites who were a race of giants as tall as cedars and a
s strong as oaks. 2:9
God's creative ways of kiilling people and breaking things. 3:12-15
God afflicted the Israelites with "cleanness of teeth" (famine,) drought, bl
asting, and mildew. He killed them with pestilence, slaughtered them with the sw
ord, and "made the stink of their camps come up into their noses." Destroyed the
m like they were from Sodom and Gomorrah. And yet they still didn't return to hi
m. What is wrong with people? 4:6-11
"Therefore thus will I do unto thee .... Prepare to meet thy God, O Israel."
4:12
"For thus saith the Lord GOD; The city that went out by a thousand shall lea
ve an hundred, and that which went forth by an hundred shall leave ten." 5:3
"Seek the LORD, and ye shall live; lest he break out like fire in the house
of Joseph, and devour it." 5:6
When there is wailing and mourning, you'll know God's been there. 5:16-17
God says, "If there remain ten men in one house, that they shall die." 6:9
"The LORD commandeth, and he will smite the great house with breaches, and t
he little house with clefts."
(God will destroy people's houses.) 6:11
Next God sends a fire that consumes both land and sea. 7:4
God will kill the house of Jeroboam with the sword. 7:9-11
Amos tells Amaziah that his wife will become a whore, his children will be k
illed, and he'll die in a pagan country. 7:17
"The songs of the temple shall be howlings in that day, saith the Lord GOD:
there shall be many dead bodies in every place." 8:3
God will kill so many people that dead bodies will lay everywhere. 8:3
"I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation;
and I will bring up sackcloth upon all loins, and baldness upon every head; and
I will make it as the mourning of an only son, and the end thereof as a bitter
day." 8:10
"In that day shall the fair virgins and young men faint for thirst." 8:13
They shall fall, and never rise up again." 8:14
God will "cut them in the head" and "slay the last of them with the sword."
Any that try to escape by diving to the bottom of the sea will be bitten, at God
's command, by a sea-serpent. God will set his "eyes upon them for evil, not for
good." 9:1-4
God will melt the land with his touch and then drown it in a flood. 9:5

God will destroy the "the sinful kingdom" and "all the sinners" among his pe
ople. 9:8-10
Obadiah
The Israelites hear "a rumor from the Lord" telling them to start a war with
the Edomites. 1, 8
God tells Israelites to "destroy the wise men out of Edom" and to slaughter
"everyone of the mount of Esau." 8-9
God will burn all the heathen to death, "for the LORD hath spoken it." 16-18
Micah
God will destroy Samaria with stones. 1:6
God accuses the Israelite leaders of plucking off skin, flesh from bones, ea
ting human flesh, flaying off skin, breaking bones, chopping bodies in pieces, m
aking human stew. To punish them he will ignore them when they call on him. 3:14
God will strengthen the Israelites so they can "beat in pieces many peoples"
and give the booty to God. 4:13
"They shall waste the land of Assyria with the sword." 5:6
Like a young lion "the remnant of Jacob" will tear the Gentiles to pieces. 5
:8
"Thine hand shall be lifted up upon thine adversaries, and all thine enemies
shall be cut off." 5:9
"I will cut off thy horses." 5:10
God will "cut off" the witches and soothsayers. 5:11-12
God will destroy entire cities, and "execute vengeance in anger and fury upo
n the heathen such as they have not heard." 5:14-15
God will make his people sick, hungry, and desolate. Those who survive he wi
ll "give up to the sword." 6:13-16
The Gentiles will be made deaf, shall lick dust and be forced to crawl like
worms from fear of God and his people. 7:16-17
Nahum
God doesn't just get even. He drowns or burns to death his enemies. 1:8-10
"Behold, I am against thee, saith the LORD of hosts, and I will burn her cha
riots." 2:13
"There is a multitude of slain, and a great number of carcasses; and there i
s none end of their corpses; they stumble upon their corpses." Now that's a lot
of dead people. 3:3
God punished Nineveh by enslaving the people and smashing the little childre
n in the streets. 3:10

God says that "the fire shall devour thee, the sword shall cut thee off, it
shall eat thee up like the cankerworm." 3:15
Habakkuk
"O LORD, thou hast ordained them for judgment; and, O mighty God, thou hast
established them for correction." 1:12
"God ... had horns coming out of his hand. ... Before him went the pestilenc
e, and burning coals went forth at his feet." 3:3-5
Habakkuk praises God for slaughtering "the heathen." 3:12-14
Zephaniah
God plans to kill every living thing. 1:2-3
God will "cut off" all those who "have not sought the Lord" or who worship a
nother god. 1:4-6
God will "bring distress upon men" so that they "walk like blind men." He wi
ll pour out their blood like dust and "their flesh as dung." 1:17-18
Hide from God and hope he doesn't find you. 2:1-3
God's hit list: Gaza, Ashkelon, Ekron, the sea coast, Canaan, the Philistine
s, Moab, the children of Ammon, Ethiopians, Assyrians, and Nineveh. 2:4-13
God destroyed entire cities, killing all the inhabitants. 3:6
"All of the earth shall be devoured with the fire of my jealousy." 3:8
Haggai
God will make the horses and their riders be killed by "the sword of his bro
ther." 2:22
Zechariah
"For I set all men every one against his neighbor." 8:10
God will cast out Tyrus and devour it with fire. 9:4
"The LORD of hosts shall defend them; and they shall devour ...they shall dr
ink, and make a noise as through wine." 9:15
"They shall be as mighty men, which tread down their enemies in the mire of
the streets in the battle: and they shall fight, because the LORD is with them."
10:5
"He shall pass through the sea with affliction, and shall smite the waves in
the sea, and all the deeps of the river shall dry up." 10:11
God will mercilessly "feed the flock of slaughter" by making every one kill
his neighbor. 11:4-7
"Let the rest eat every one the flesh of another." 11:9
"Woe to the idle shepherd." He will be mutilated and blinded. 11:17

God will open his eyes and smite "every rider with madness ... and every hor
se ... with blindness." 12:4
"I [God] make the governors of Judah like an hearth of fire ... and they sha
ll devour all the people round about." 12:6
"I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem." 12:9
Someday prophets will be killed by their own parents by "thrusting him throu
gh when he prophesieth." 13:3
God will make "all nations" fight against Jerusalem. The women will be "ravi
shed" and half its people enslaved. 14:1-2
God will smite the people with plagues that will cause their flesh, eyes, an
d tongues to rot away. 14:12
God will make everyone fight and kill his neighbor. 14:13
God sends his plagues on animals too. 14:15
Whoever survives all these plagues and slaughters must worship God. 14:16
God will "smite the heathen" with a plague. 14:18
Malachi
God continues to demand animal sacrifices. And not just any animals will do.
He is insulted when blind, lame, or sick animals are killed for him. 1:7-14
God will burn "the wicked" and the "righteous" will walk around on their ash
es. 4:1-3
The Old Testament ends fittingly with these words: "lest I come and smite th
e earth with a curse." 4:6
Matthew
Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire
." 3:10, 12
Jesus strongly approves of the law and the prophets. He hasn't the slightest
objection to the cruelties of the Old Testament. 5:17
Jesus recommends that to avoid sin we cut off our hands and pluck out our ey
es. This advice is given immediately after he says that anyone who looks with lu
st at any women commits adultery. 5:29-30
Jesus says that most people will go to hell. 7:13-14
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fi
re." 7:19
"The children of the kingdom [the Jews] shall be cast out into outer darknes
s: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 8:12
Jesus tells a man who had just lost his father: "Let the dead bury the dead.
" 8:21

Jesus sends some devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff
and drown in the waters below. 8:32
Cities that neither "receive" the disciples nor "hear" their words will be d
estroyed by God. It will be worse for them than for Sodom and Gomorrah. And you
know what God supposedly did to those poor folks (see Gen 19:24). 10:14-15
Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophe
cies" in the Bible that has actually come true). "Brother shall deliver up the b
rother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up agains
t their parents, and cause them to be put to death." 10:21
Jesus says that we should fear God who is willing and "able to destroy both
soul and body in hell." 10:28
Jesus says that he has come to destroy families by making family members hat
e each other. He has "come not to send peace, but a sword." 10:34-36
Jesus condemns entire cities to dreadful deaths and to the eternal torment o
f hell because they didn't care for his preaching. 11:20-24
Jesus will send his angels to gather up "all that offend" and they "shall ca
st them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth." 1
3:41-42, 50
Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not washing his hands before eating
. He defends himself by attacking them for not killing disobedient children acco
rding to the commandment: "He that curseth father or mother, let him die the dea
th." (See Ex 21:15, Lev 20:9, Dt 21:18-21) So, does Jesus think that children wh
o curse their parents should be killed? It sure sounds like it. 15:4-7
"Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up.
" 15:13
Jesus advises his followers to mutilate themselves by cutting off their hand
s and plucking out their eyes. He says it's better to be "maimed" than to suffer
"everlasting fire." 18:8-9
In the parable of the unforgiving servant, the king threatens to enslave a m
an and his entire family to pay for a debt. This practice, which was common at t
he time, seems not to have bothered Jesus very much. The parable ends with this:
"So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you." If you are cruel to ot
hers, God will be cruel to you. 18:23-35
"And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors." 18:34
God is like a rich man who owns a vineyard and rents it to poor farmers. Whe
n he sends servants to collect the rent, the tenants beat or kill them. So he se
nt his son to collect the rent, and they kill him too. Then the owner comes and
kills the farmers and rents the vineyard to others. 21:33-41
"Whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it sh
all fall, it will grind him to powder." Whoever falls on "this stone" (Jesus) wi
ll be broken, and whomever the stone falls on will be ground into powder. 21:44
In the parable of the marriage feast, the king sends his servants to gather
everyone they can find, both bad and good, to come to the wedding feast. One gue
st didn't have on his wedding garment, so the king tied him up and "cast him int
o the outer darkness" where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 22:1
-14

The end of the world will be signaled by wars, famines,
akes (6-7). And that's just "the beginning of sorrows" (8).
be hated and killed by unbelievers (9), believers will hate
r (10), false prophets will fool people (11), iniquity will
cold (12). But hey, if you make through all that, you'll be

disease, and earthqu
Next believers will
and betray each othe
abound and love wax
saved (13).

Only one more thing will happen before the end comes: the gospel will be pre
ached throughout the world (14). Well, that and the abomination of desolations w
ill stand in the holy place (15), many false Christs and false prophets will sho
w great signs and wonders (24), the sun and moon will be darkened and the stars
will fall (29), the sign of the son of Man will appear in the sky, everyone on e
arth will mourn, and then, finally, the great and powerful son of Man will come
in all his glory (30).
Oh, and all these things will happen within the lifespan of Jesus' contempor
aries (34).
Or maybe not. Jesus was talking about things he knew nothing about (36). (Se
e Mark 13:32.) 24:3-51
Jesus had no problem with the idea of drowning everyone on earth in the floo
d. It'll be just like that when he returns. 24:37
God will come when people least expect him and then he'll "cut them asunder.
" And "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 24:50-51
The parable of the cruel and unjust master
The kingdom of heaven is like a rich man who distributed his wealth to his s
ervants while he traveled. He gave five talents (a talent was a unit of money, w
orth about 20 years of a worker's wages) to one servant, two to another, and one
to a third. When he returned, the servant with five talents had made five more,
the servant with two made two more, but the servant with one talent only had th
e talent his master entrusted to him. The master rewarded the servants that inve
sted his money (without his permission -- what would have happened if the stock
market went down during their master's travels?) and took the talent from the si
ngle-talent servant and gave it to the one with ten talents. "For unto every one
that hath shall be given .. but from him that hath not shall be taken away even
that which he hath." Then the cruel and unjust master cast the servant who care
fully protected his master's talent into the "outer darkness: [where] there shal
l be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 25:14-30
The servant who kept and returned his master's talent was cast into the "out
er darkness" where there will be "weeping and gnashing of teeth." 25:30
Jesus judges the nations. 25:31-46
Jesus tells us what he has planned for those that he dislikes. They will be
cast into an "everlasting fire." 25:41
Jesus says the damned will be tormented forever. 25:46
Mark
Jesus explains why he speaks in parables: to confuse people so they will go
to hell. 4:11-12
Jesus sends devils into 2000 pigs, causing them to jump off a cliff and be d
rowned in the sea. When the people hear about it, they beg Jesus to leave. 5:1213

Any city that doesn't "receive" the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in
a manner even more savage than that of Sodom and Gomorrah. 6:11
Jesus criticizes the Jews for not killing their disobedient children as requ
ired by Old Testament law. (See Ex 21:15, Lev 20:9, Dt 21:18-21) 7:9-10
Jesus tells us to cut off our hands and feet, and pluck out our eyes to avoi
d going to hell. 9:43-49
God is like a rich man who owns a vineyard and rents it to poor farmers. Whe
n he sends servants to collect the rent, the tenants beat or kill them. So he se
nt his son to collect the rent, and they kill him too. Then the owner comes and
kills the farmers and gives the vineyard to others. 12:1-9
Jesus tells his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood. 14:22-24
Jesus says that those that believe and are baptized will be saved, while tho
se who don't will be damned. 16:16
Luke
Zechariah asks the angel Gabriel how his wife Elizabeth could become pregnan
t, since she is "stricken with years." Gabriel makes him "dumb" just for asking.
1:20
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fi
re." 3:9
John the Baptist says that Christ will burn the damned "with fire unquenchab
le." 3:17
Jesus heals a naked man who was possessed by many devils by sending the devi
ls into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the sea. Th
is messy, cruel, and expensive (for the owners of the pigs) treatment did not fa
vorably impress the local residents, and Jesus was asked to leave. 8:27-37
Jesus says that entire cities will be violently destroyed and the inhabitant
s "thrust down to hell" for not "receiving" his disciples. 10:10-15
Jesus says that we should fear God since he has the power to kill us and the
n torture us forever in hell. 12:5
Jesus says that God is like a slave-owner who beats his slaves "with many st
ripes." 12:46-47
"Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish." 13:3, 5
According to Jesus, only a few will be saved; the vast majority will suffer
eternally in hell where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 13:23-30
In the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, the rich man goes to hell, becau
se as Abraham explains, he had a good life on earth and so now he will be tormen
ted. Whereas Lazarus, who was miserable on earth, is now in heaven. This seems f
air to Jesus. 16:19-31
Jesus believed the story of Noah's ark. He thought it really happened and ha
d no problem with the idea of God drowning everything and everybody. 17:26-27
Jesus also believes the story about Sodom's destruction. He says, "even thus

shall it be in the day the son of man is revealed ... Remember Lot's wife." Thi
s tells us about Jesus' knowledge of science and history, and his sense of justi
ce. 17:29-32
In the parable of the talents, Jesus says that God takes what is not rightly
his, and reaps what he didn't sow. The parable ends with the words: "bring them
[those who preferred not to be ruled by him] hither, and slay them before me."
19:22-27
Jesus tells his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood. 22:19-20
John
Jesus believed the stupid and vicious story from Numbers 21. (God sent snake
s to bite the people for complaining about the lack of food and water. Then God
told Moses to make a brass snake to cure them from the bites.) 3:14
"God so loved the world, that he gave his His only begotten Son."
As an example to parents everywhere and to save the world (from himself), Go
d had his own son tortured and killed. 3:16
People are damned or saved depending only on what they believe. 3:18, 36
The "wrath of God" is on all unbelievers. 3:36
Jesus believes people are crippled by God as a punishment for sin. He tells
a crippled man, after healing him, to "sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto
thee." 5:14
Those who do not believe in Jesus will be cast into a fire to be burned. 15:
6
Jesus says we must eat his flesh and drink his blood if we want to have eter
nal life. This idea was just too gross for "many of his disciples" and "walked n
o more with him." (They are called Protestants nowadays.) 6:53-66
Acts
Peter claims that Dt 18:18-19 refers to Jesus, saying that those who refuse
to follow him (all non-Christians) must be killed. 3:23
Peter and God scare Ananias and his wife to death for not forking over all o
f the money that they made when selling their land. 5:1-10
Peter has a dream in which God show him "wild beasts, and creeping things, a
nd fowls." The voice (God's?) says, "Rise, Peter: kill and eat." 10:10-13
Peter describes the vision that he had in the last chapter (10:10-13). All k
inds of beasts, creeping things, and fowls drop down from the sky in a big sheet
, and a voice (God's, Satan's?) tells him to "Arise, Peter; slay and eat." 11:510
The "angel of the Lord" killed Herod by having him "eaten of worms" because
"he gave not God the glory." 12:23
David was "a man after [God's] own heart." 13:22
The author of Acts talks about the "sure mercies of David." But David was an
ything but merciful. For an example of his behavior see 2 Sam 12:31 and 1 Chr 20
:3, where he saws, hacks, and burns to death the inhabitants of several cities.

13:34
Paul and the Holy Ghost conspire together to make Elymas (the sorcerer) blin
d. 13:8-11
Romans
Homosexuals (those "without natural affection") and their supporters (those
"that have pleasure in them") are "worthy of death" - - along with gossips, boas
ters, and disobedient children. 1:31-32
The guilty are "justified" and "saved from wrath" by the blood of an innocen
t victim. 5:9
God punishes everyone for someone else's sin; then he saves them by killing
an innocent victim. 5:12
"If ... we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son", then God is trul
y a monster. 5:10
1 Corinthians
If you defile the temple of God, God will destroy you.

3:17

Paul claims that God killed 23,000 in a plague for "committing whoredom with
the daughters of Moab 10:8
If you tempt Christ (How could you tempt Christ?), you'll will die from snak
e bites. 10:9
If you murmur, you'll be destroyed by the destroyer (God). 10:10
2 Corinthians
The terror of the Lord 5:11
Galatians
If anyone dares to disagree with Paul on religious matters, "let him be accu
rsed." 1:8-9
Ephesians
We are predestined by God to go to either heaven or hell. None of our though
ts, words, or actions can affect the final outcome. 1:4-5, 11
God had his son murdered to keep himself from hurting others for things they
didn't do. 1:7
The bloody death of Jesus smelled good to God. 5:2
Those who refuse to obey will face the wrath of God. 5:6
Colossians
God bought us with someone else's blood. 1:14
God makes peace through blood. 1:19-20
1 Thessalonians

God is planning a messy, mass murder in "the wrath to come" and only Jesus c
an save you from it. 1:10
Christians shouldn't mourn the death of their fellow believers. They'll be O
K and you'll see them later in heaven. The people you should mourn are dead nonb
elievers. They have no hope (because they're going to hell). 4:13
2 Thessalonians
Jesus will take "vengeance on them that know not God" by burning them foreve
r "in flaming fire." 1:7-9
Jesus will "consume" the wicked "with the spirit of his mouth." 2:8
God will cause us to believe lies so that he can damn our souls to hell. 2:1
1-12
Hebrews
"That which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing;
whose end is to be burned."
Apostates will burn in hell with the other non-believers. 6:8
"Melchisedec ... met Abraham returning from the slaughter of the kings, and
blessed him."
God showed his approval of "the slaughter of the kings" with Melchisedec's b
lessing of Abraham. (Genesis 14:17-18) 7:1
God will not forgive anyone unless something is killed for him in a bloody m
anner. 9:13-22
"A certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shal
l devour the adversaries."
God will soon destroy non-believers in a fiery hell. 10:27
Those who disobeyed the Old Testament law were killed without mercy. It will
be much worse for those who displease Jesus. 10:28-29
"Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord." 10:30
"It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." 10:31
"Abraham ... offered up Isaac ... his only begotten son." (And this was a go
od thing? How fucked up is that?) 11:17
The Israelites kept the passover and sprinkled blood on doorposts so that Go
d wouldn't kill their firstborn children (like he did the Egyptians in Exodus 12
:29). 11:28
God saved Rahab because she believed. (He killed all the non-believers in Je
richo.) 11:31
"Time would fail me to tell of Gideon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of J
ephthah; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets."
The heroes of faith: Gideon, Samson, Jephthah, David, and Samuel. It would b
e hard to find a more monstrous group than these guys. 11:32
"Others were tortured ... that they might obtain a better resurrection." 11:
35

God ordered animals to be "stoned, or thrust through with a dart" if they "s
o much as ... touch the mountain." 12:20
"Ye are come ... to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things tha
t that of Abel." 12:22-24
James
James says Abraham was justified by works (for being willing to kill his son
for God); Paul (Romans 4:2-3) says he was justified by faith (for believing tha
t God would order him to do such an evil act). 2:21
1 Peter
We are all, according to Peter, predestined to be saved or damned. We have n
o say in the matter. It was all determined by "the sprinkling of the blood of Je
sus Christ."1:2
"The precious blood of Christ ... was foreordained before the foundation of
the world."
God planned to kill Jesus from the get-go. 1:19-20
God drowned everyone on earth except for Noah and his family. 3:20
2 Peter
God drowned everyone else on earth except for Noah and his family. 2:5, 3:6
"Turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes" 2:6
God will set the entire earth on fire so that he can burn non-believers to d
eath. 3:7
When Jesus returns, he'll burn up the whole earth and everything on it. 3:10
1 John
Christians are washed in the blood of Jesus. 1:7
Jude
"The Lord destroyed them that believed not." 5
God sent "eternal fire" on the people of Sodom and Gomorrah for "going after
strange flesh." 7-8
Revelation
Jesus "washed us ... with his own blood." 1:5
Everyone on earth will wail because of Jesus. 1:7
Jesus has "the keys of hell and death." 1:18
Repent -- or else Jesus will fight you with the sword that sticks out of his
mouth. (Like the limbless knight in Monty Python's "Holy Grail.") 2:16
"I [Jesus] will kill her children with death." 2:23

"Thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were create
d." God created parasites, pathogens, and predators for his very own pleasure. O
ne of his favorite species is guinea worms. 4:11
"Thou art worthy ... for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy
blood." 5:9
God gives someone on a white horse a bow and sends him out to conquer people
. 6:2
God gave power to someone on a red horse "to take from the earth ... that th
ey should kill one another." 6:4
God tells Death and Hell to kill one quarter of the earth's population with
the sword, starvation, and "with the beasts of the earth." 6:8
The martyrs just can't wait until everyone else is slaughtered. God gives th
em a white robe and tells them to wait until he's done with his killing spree. 6
:10-11
God tells his murderous angels to "hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor
the trees, till we have sealed the servants of your God on their foreheads." Thi
s verse is one that Christians like to use to show God's loving concern for the
environment. But the previous verse (7:2) makes it clear that it was their God-g
iven job to "hurt the earth and the sea" just as soon as they finished their for
ehead marking job. 7:3
144,000 Jews will be going to heaven; everyone else is going to hell. 7:4
Those that survive the great tribulation will get to wash their clothes in t
he blood of the lamb. 7:14
God sends his angels to destroy a third part of all the trees, grass, sea cr
eature, mountains, sun, moon, starts, and water. 8:7-13
"Many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter." 8:11
The angels are instructed not to "hurt the grass [how could they? He already
had all the grass killed in 8:7] ... but only those men which have not the seal
of God on their foreheads." God tells his angels not to kill them, but rather t
orment them with scorpions for five months. Those tormented will want to die, bu
t God won't let them. 9:4-6
God makes some horse-like locusts with human heads, women's hair, lion's tee
th, and scorpion's tails. They sting people and hurt them for five months. 9:7-1
0
Four angels, with an army of 200 million, killed a third of the earth's popu
lation. 9:15-19
Anyone that messes with God's two olive trees and two candlesticks (God's wi
tnesses) will be burned to death by fire that comes out of their mouths. 11:3-5
God's witnesses have special powers. They can shut up heaven so that it cann
ot rain, turn rivers into blood, and smite the earth with plagues "as often as t
hey will." 11:6
After God's witnesses "have finished their testimony," they are killed in a
war with a beast from a bottomless pit. 11:7

The bodies of God's witnesses will lie unburied for three and a half days. P
eople will "rejoice over them and make merry, and shall send gifts to one anothe
r." After another three and half days God brings his witnesses back to life and
they ascend into heaven. 11:8-12
When the witnesses ascend into heaven, an earthquake kills 7000 men. This wa
s the second woe. "The third woe cometh quickly." 11:13-14
"The Lamb slain from the foundation of the world"
God planned to kill Jesus before he created the world. 13:8
Those who receive the mark of the beast will "drink of the wine of the wrath
of God ... and shall be tormented with fire and brimstone ... and the smoke of
their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever." 14:10-11
Jesus sits on a white cloud with a sharp sickle in his hand. When the angel
tells him to reap, he kills all the people with his sickle. 14:14-18
"The great winepress of the wrath of God ... was trodden ... and the blood c
am out of the winepress, even unto the horses bridles." 14:19-20
Seven angels with seven plagues are filled with the wrath of God. 15:1, 7
The seven vials of wrath: 1) sores, 2) sea turned to blood, 3) rivers turned
to blood, 4) people scorched with fire, 5) people gnaw their tongues in pain, 6
) Euphrates dries up, 7) thunder, lightning, earthquake, and hail. 16:1
"There fell a noisome and grievous sore upon the men which had the mark of t
he beast." 16:2
"The second angel poured out his vial upon the sea; and it became as the blo
od of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea." 16:3
"The third angel poured out his vial upon the rivers and fountains of waters
; and they became blood." 16:4
God gave the saints and prophets blood to drink. 16:6
Another angel tells God how righteous he is because he gives saints blood to
drink. 16:7
"Power was given unto him [the fourth angel] to scorch men with fire." 16:8
Those who were being burned to death by God didn't repent "to give him glory
." 16:9
"The fifth angel poured out his vial ... and they gnawed their tongues for p
ain." 16:10
Even after being burned alive, those nasty people wouldn't repent! 16:11
Christians will fight in the war between Jesus and those allied with the bea
st. 17:14
"They shall eat her flesh and burn her with fire." (Are they going to eat he
r first and then burn her?) 17:16-17
To punish her God will send plagues and famine, and "she will be utterly bur
ned with fire." 18:8

God will send plagues, death, and famine on Babylon, and the kings "who have
committed fornication with her" will be sad to see her burn. 18:8-9
Jesus makes war. 19:11
Jesus' clothes are dipped in blood and his secret name ("that no man knew")
is "The Word of God". (I bet you thought it was Jesus!) 19:13
With eyes aflame, many crowns on his head, clothes dripping with blood, a sw
ord sticking out of his mouth, and a secret name, Jesus leads the faithful in he
aven into holy war on earth. 19:14-15
"Come ... unto the supper of the great God." An angel calls all the fowls to
feast upon the flesh of dead horses and human bodies, "both free and bond, both
small and great." 19:17-18
The beast and the false prophet are cast alive into a lake of fire. The rest
were killed with the sword of Jesus. "And all the fowls were filled with their
flesh." 19:20-21
God will send fire from heaven to devour people. And the devil will be torme
nted "day and night for ever and ever." 20:9-10
Whoever isn't found listed in the book of life will be cast into the lake of
fire. 20:15
All liars, as well as those who are fearful or unbelieving, will be cast int
o "the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." 21:8