Wedding Custom
Content
Wedding Custom
SPYING
The adat merisik (asking ceremony, or more literally 'spying custom') is the traditional Malay system for arranging marriages. When it is time for a young man to get married, his family will look around to identify a number of potential brides. Nowadays, the man might suggest to his family who he would like them to consider, and it may be that a romantic link already exists between the man and woman. Having decided upon one particular woman, the merisik, or investigation process, takes place.
Engagement Custom
As soon as a man announces his wish to marry, an engagement date will be set when families of the couple meet to discuss the wedding plans. The adat bertunang (engagement custom) is normally held at the bride's home.
Marriage Contract
A Malay wedding proper begins with the akad nikah (marriage contract) ceremony. The groom signs the marriage contract and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin (mahar, literally 'marriage gold' in form of money or goods or anything as requested by the bride).It is opposite to dowry where the mas kahwin is paid by the bride to the groom. The mas kahwin is a symbol to show that the men is willing and are prepared to build a family with the lady he chose to get married to. The contract signing is done before a religious official and is accompanied by prayer.
Enthronement
The actual wedding day is the Bersanding. This literally means the "sitting together of the bride and bridegroom on the bridal couch". The bersanding (enthronement) ceremony begins with the groom's procession with friends, relatives, musicians and people waving bunga manggar (palm blossom) to meet the bride. Often various good-humoured attempts are made to waylay or stop the groom from getting to the bride. The main part of the bersanding involves the seating of the bridal couple on a dais and sprinkling them with yellow rice and scented water by family members, relatives and guests as a sign of blessing.
When a Muslim is near death, those around him or her are called upon to give comfort, and reminders of God’s mercy and forgiveness. They may recite verses from the Qur’an, give physical comfort, and encourage the dying one to recite words of remembrance and prayer. The eyes of the deceased should be closed, and the body covered temporarily with a clean sheet.
Washing and Shrouding In preparation for burial, the family or other members of the community will wash and shroud the body. Start with the right side and wash those parts first, which are washed during ablution for prayers. The final wash should contain perfume; however, a martyr should not be washed, to retain his musk on the Day of Judgment. The body will then be wrapped in sheets of clean, white cloth (called the kafan).
Funeral Prayers The deceased is then transported to the site of the funeral prayers (salat-l-janazah). These prayers are commonly held outdoors, in a courtyard or public square, not inside the mosque. The community gathers, and the imam (prayer leader) stands in front of the deceased, facing away from the worshippers.
Burial More wealthy Muslims may use caskets. Some Muslims put three handfuls of dust into the grave at the side of the deceased person’s head. Expression of condolence is very important in Islamic culture; according to Bilal Abu Aisha, important expressions of sympathy include reminding family members that the departed has passed beyond the “triviality of this life. That everything belongs to Allah.”
SPYING
The adat merisik (asking ceremony, or more literally 'spying custom') is the traditional Malay system for arranging marriages. When it is time for a young man to get married, his family will look around to identify a number of potential brides. Nowadays, the man might suggest to his family who he would like them to consider, and it may be that a romantic link already exists between the man and woman. Having decided upon one particular woman, the merisik, or investigation process, takes place.
Engagement Custom
As soon as a man announces his wish to marry, an engagement date will be set when families of the couple meet to discuss the wedding plans. The adat bertunang (engagement custom) is normally held at the bride's home.
Marriage Contract
A Malay wedding proper begins with the akad nikah (marriage contract) ceremony. The groom signs the marriage contract and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin (mahar, literally 'marriage gold' in form of money or goods or anything as requested by the bride).It is opposite to dowry where the mas kahwin is paid by the bride to the groom. The mas kahwin is a symbol to show that the men is willing and are prepared to build a family with the lady he chose to get married to. The contract signing is done before a religious official and is accompanied by prayer.
Enthronement
The actual wedding day is the Bersanding. This literally means the "sitting together of the bride and bridegroom on the bridal couch". The bersanding (enthronement) ceremony begins with the groom's procession with friends, relatives, musicians and people waving bunga manggar (palm blossom) to meet the bride. Often various good-humoured attempts are made to waylay or stop the groom from getting to the bride. The main part of the bersanding involves the seating of the bridal couple on a dais and sprinkling them with yellow rice and scented water by family members, relatives and guests as a sign of blessing.
When a Muslim is near death, those around him or her are called upon to give comfort, and reminders of God’s mercy and forgiveness. They may recite verses from the Qur’an, give physical comfort, and encourage the dying one to recite words of remembrance and prayer. The eyes of the deceased should be closed, and the body covered temporarily with a clean sheet.
Washing and Shrouding In preparation for burial, the family or other members of the community will wash and shroud the body. Start with the right side and wash those parts first, which are washed during ablution for prayers. The final wash should contain perfume; however, a martyr should not be washed, to retain his musk on the Day of Judgment. The body will then be wrapped in sheets of clean, white cloth (called the kafan).
Funeral Prayers The deceased is then transported to the site of the funeral prayers (salat-l-janazah). These prayers are commonly held outdoors, in a courtyard or public square, not inside the mosque. The community gathers, and the imam (prayer leader) stands in front of the deceased, facing away from the worshippers.
Burial More wealthy Muslims may use caskets. Some Muslims put three handfuls of dust into the grave at the side of the deceased person’s head. Expression of condolence is very important in Islamic culture; according to Bilal Abu Aisha, important expressions of sympathy include reminding family members that the departed has passed beyond the “triviality of this life. That everything belongs to Allah.”
